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sun-snatcher · 2 months

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🌾 ・ OF CLARION CALLS

summ. The rebellion runs into trouble, & Jet takes the brunt of it. In the aftermath, you fight to keep him alive. pairing. Jet x f!medic!reader w.count. 1.5k a/n. So little Jet fics/imagines around so i had to take matters into my own hands. Enjoy!

The moonlight casts a halo above your head, and for a brief moment, Jet thinks you’re a divine spirit, perhaps a goddess— or whatever it is his mother used to read to him before bed.

( In some ways, you are. )

…Jet, he hears, distant. He can’t pinpoint exactly where— every sound is either muffled or echoing, and the world keeps tipping in and out of a blur. All he can sense through the haze is the belt of dull pain creeping up his chest, and the cotton-numbness engulfing his head. Right. He’d been shot clean through his armor plate by a wayward arrow after he’d jumped infront of Sneers to protect him. He remembers now, vaguely. It had been an ambush on their way home.

...et, stay with me.

Jet.

“Jet!”

The world focuses. He inhales, sharp, and the pain blinds him white as he gasps.

“Easy there, handsome,” you joke (not really), holding his twitching body down and trying to meet his dazed look. The blood is thick enough to taste, and one look is enough to tell he’s walking a tightrope between life or death. He's growing colder, and losing colour by the minute. You make quick work to staunch the gaping wound in his chest, hope he can’t detect the shakiness in your hands, or the tears gathering in your eyes. “You’re gonna be okay.”

“Will he?” comes a voice behind the two medics crowding him. It’s Smellerbee, standing at the step of the medical tent; her voice sounds uncharacteristically frightened, and it sends a pang through your heart. I’m fine, Jet instinctively wants to insist, but you answer for him instead. “Yes. He will." ( And, well, surely such a small deception would not count against you, not when it was meant to give the others some measure of peace. )

Jet blinks, finally orienting himself enough to look at you and not through you— and blinks again. You’re lying. He could feel it. He could always tell, whenever it comes to you.

…Stay, he thinks, suddenly and senselessly, and clasps his bloodied hand around your wrist. He calls your name, voice straining in pain. But he must’ve said it aloud instead, because you’d smiled at him as gently as you could— even when it looked as if the effort of doing so would wound you— and said, calmly, convincingly: I promise, I’m not going anywhere.

“With me?” he asks, again, even when he knows he must’ve sounded like a madman. Perhaps it’s the bloodloss. Likely, it was. It wouldn’t be such a bad end, though, so long as you stood by his side. He wants to tell you this— been wanting to for a long time, now— but the strength has left him, leaving him floating somewhere between the world of waking and dreaming.

“With you,” comes your reply.

You catch the ghost of his trademark smile just before he slips away.

Jet survives.

That’s the first surprise.

The second is that; you’re here. Just as you’d promised.

He must have been out for longer than he thinks, because the atmosphere in the medical tent seemed to have ebbed to something much more conducive than last he remembers. The tinctures of alcohol and sedatives surrounding him and his bloody bandages that night are now replaced with dry ingredients; yarrow half-crushed in a mortar and pestle, mixed herbs and colourful liquids corked in tiny bottles and tins he couldn’t begin to name. His armour had been stripped from him, lying above a chest by the corner.

Ever the leader; “Sneers,” is the first word out his mouth, once he’d stirred awake on his cot and recognition returned slowly to him. It’s early sometime in the morning, judging by the colour of the sky outside the tattered tent flaps and the still quietness in the air. Beside him, an incense of sandalwood burns. “Sneers—”

“Is alive, thanks to you,” you override. The faint bitterness in your voice is not lost on him.

Somehow, someway, seeing him conscious now seemed to make you bristle. You think— no, you know— that it’s unfair of you; that it’s simply the pent-up frustrations and stress overflowing from the night he’d been hauled back to camp with one foot in the grave. But Longshot’s harrowing clarion call for a medic from the trees still rings clear as a bell in your head, just as much as the cold shock that had seized you the moment you realised the birdcall was for Jet.

“Good.”

“Not good,” you correct, “Not when you of all people pay the price.”

( Jet doesn’t delude himself into thinking that there could possibly be another meaning to what you said. It would be impossible. ) ��You would’ve done the same,” he bites back, and takes your silence as quiet agreement.

“You’re upset,” Jet points out, narrowing his eyes. “Why?”

A sigh. “You just woke up,” you dismiss, if only to get him off your scent. “We can talk another day.”

“We’re already here, so let’s settle it now. The mission went well, and as far as I can see, I’m the only one in here, which means nobody else got hurt on the way back but me. Atleast, not as badly.”

It’s a debrief, you recognise. A coping mechanism for him— to spur himself into action and settle himself. Given the stress and trauma his body has been enduring the past days, you let it pass.

It’s only when you shift out from your seat by his cot, standing to begin putting away the bowls of medicine prepared, that Jet realises your fingers had been holding his wrist before. You must have stayed up for, what he can only imagine to be long nights, to keep track on whether his pulse was still beating. ( Something inside his chest burns. He can’t tell if it’s your doing or the injury being fussy. )

“I’m sorry,” he huffs, sighing out. “If that’s what you wanna hear.”

“For what?” You set the mortar down on your table with more force than necessary, and looked at him sharply from over your shoulder. Jet, damn him, still looks at you straight in the eyes, confident as ever. You want to kiss him. You want to break his nose. “For being a hero?”

“No.”

“Playing martyr?”

“No.”

“For saving Sneers? Everyone?”

“No—”

“Then what?”

“For scaring you,” he says, simply.

Your heart starts.

A frisson runs through you, and you feel the back of your eyes begin to burn.

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that,” he emphasises, and doesn’t say, I’m sorry I made you cry, because your prideful self would have denied it instantly, even if he remembers it clear as day. “I’m sorry I put you through that.”

He yanks at a loose thread on the blanket you’d laid on him a night ago. It must have been terrifying to see him be dragged to the table, half-dead with a broken arrow in his chest, and leave a mess of blood and horror in his wake. It must have been terrifying, indeed, to be the one responsible for him against Death itself— to carry the weight of his life on your shoulders, while the rest of the Freedom Fighters watched on.

“It’s, it’s my job,” you turn away to close a drawer of medical instruments, because you’re not quite sure you can stand meeting his gaze. Not when it only reminds you of just how much he lived, breathed and bleeds chaos and revolution; not when you know this accident definitely won’t be the last.

You can’t handle him. Or maybe it’s yourself you can’t handle, when it comes to him. “Just, be careful.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he salutes mockingly, albeit with a wince. The flinch is what kicks you back into action.

“You’re staying in bed until you’re better,” you order, curt, ignoring his groan. His wrapped shoulder still seems painfully defiant despite all the numbing you’d given him; it would be a couple of weeks longer before he’d be fully healed, but knowing Jet— he’ll be up performing duties within a week. “That means no strain at all. No scouting or recon or hunting, got it?”

He lulls his head, but there’s a dash of humour on his face. “Since I’m bedridden, does that mean you’re at my every beck and call, then?”

Your face twists. He lets out a laugh when you answer, "In your dreams, Jet."

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

You roll your eyes, though without heat, and place a bowl of fresh water by his side. There is, at the very least, a smile on your face, and Jet’s sure he can sleep well tonight knowing you both are, at the end of the day, okay.

“Hey,” he calls your name, once you've begun making your way out the tent. You try to ignore how much more sweeter it sounds coming from him. “I really am sorry. I’m serious.”

He had caught your sleeve when he spoke, so your fingers now brush against his. You try not to focus on the touch too much. “So am I.”

“We can’t lose you, Jet,” you continue, unsteady; because saying I can’t lose you would have been unthinkable.

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sapphire-of-midgard · 6 months

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back again with more text posts (I have too much fun with this)

#god of war #god of war ragnorak #Kratos #baldur god of war #atreus #sorry these were posted later than expected #in the home stretch of my early action college applications #just a few more days and I’m free #anyway these are all canon in my eyes #including heimdall being a twink #does baldur count as a twunk?

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muslimintp-1999-girl · 6 months

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BLOCK THE SHIPMENT OF WEAPONS TO ISRAEL

Attend the protest in Sydney, Australia on 11th November

Plz share this information with others, especially if you know anyone in Australia

#direct action #BDS #free Palestine #Palestine #Gaza #Gaza under attack #Gaza strip #genocide #attack on titan #sorry for borrowing the tags but tumblr is silencing the Palestine tags so #light academia #dark academia #climate change #mental health

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captainjonnitkessler · 6 months

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I think being on the internet has given a lot of leftists a drastically skewed view of how popular our beliefs are.

Most politicians support Israel because most Americans support Israel - only 8% of the population thinks the US should publicly criticize Israel.

Bernie didn't lose the primaries because the Democrats were just too scared of having a real progressive in office so they rigged the election, he lost because socialists are the least-electable people in America and because fewer people voted for him. That's how elections work. ( In b4 'but everyone else dropped out in a coordinated effort to concentrate votes behind biden!' - yeah, if your candidate can only win when the vote is split eight ways that's not a viable candidate. And I voted for Bernie!)

As of 2021 only about 15% of Americans support defunding the police, 47% would like to see increased police funding, and the number of people who think violent crime is a "very big" problem jumped 20 percentage points up to 61% in one year.

And it's just really frustrating to see internet leftists being super condescending as though everybody should already know everything and be on board with this stuff or else they're a Bad Person, driving people away from leftist ideology or making people too afraid to ask questions lest they be branded as a Centrist or worse, a Liberal, or refusing to engage in politics until they're being specifically catered to even though that would be political suicide (and would therefore not accomplish anything anyway.)

And like. It's fine to think that people who support Israel or more police funding are bad people, frankly I think a lot of them are. But I think even more are just misinformed or not really informed about alternatives at all. And not everyone is in the headspace to do education or outreach, but when you're only 10% of the population I think you need to make a choice about whether you want to feel good about being right on the internet or whether you want to be effective. It's frustrating to have to walk someone step-by-step through why genocide is bad, but it's a lot more likely to change minds than shouting at someone that they're obviously just a genocide-loving racist is.

#feel free to call me a neoliberal bootlicker if it'll make you feel better #i just think that effective action and harm reduction are more important than Being Right On The Internet #and I also don't think the Grand Revolution is going to happen. I think we need to work with what we have. sorry.#also i was having trouble finding recent stats about the i-p conflict #in general sympathy for palestine was hovering around 30% earlier this year #but i don't know if that actually translates to supporting palestine in the conflict or how that might have changed after the Oct. 7 attack #that npr poll was the most recent but it was less than a week after the attack when misinformation and sympathy for israel was at a height #so hopefully that number is higher now #us politics

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yasmeensh · 6 months

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I hope this makes up for all the Octobear days I've missed. Done in gouache. It's been a rough month...

#Octobear #Octobear 2023 #I only did the first week :'(#I'm sorry bears #I was still checking the bear cam everyday #but i generally did not draw anything all month #just this one #Actually the lioness piece counts...#I also started sketching a chimpanzee one #I will paint that digitally because the traditional painting went horribly wrong #I scanned it before colouring... it's preserved #WELL #I have lost all faith in humanity this week #The world is more evil than I liked to believe #I got a hint when a surprising amount of people thought Eren's genocidal plan to free paradis was justifiable #WE ARE TALKING ABOUT REAL LIVES HERE. INNOCENT LIVES #Free palestine #Is*ael's actions can only be described as genocidal. I don't understand how people buy into it #Picture a school. there is a gunman hiding in there. What's the best course of action? Is*ael decided it should blow up the whole school #ney the whole neighborhood #to eliminate the gunman. And the world is cool with it. because every possible breathing creature in the school might be the gunman.#MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!????? How in the world can such a decision be supported and justified!!?????#I'm disgusted by the world #The poor children.#The poor hostages too. They will die in the airstrikes. Is*ael keeps chanting about wanting them home but are actively harming them.

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thatpurpledudetrey · 4 months

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nesta literally telling feyre that shes going to fucking died from the babe in an unpleasant way is literally just an argumental point for rhys stans to use to cover up the fact he LITERALLY hide a medical information from feyre?!?!?!? bro HE was the on who started this shit not fucking nesta????

it was rhysand's fault, he started this shit by being a stupid bitch who decided to not tell feyre

#anti feysand #neutral feyre #anti rhysand #anti acotar #pro nesta archeron #pro nesta #pro archeron sisters #“but what if shes stressed?” SHE LITERALLY FACED THE FUCKING WEAVER AND DIED SAVING PRYTHIAN SHE'LL FUCKING LIVE IF SHE WAS TOLD ABOUT THIS #none of this wouldnt been a fucking problem if RHYSAND ISNT A FUCKING ABUSER #actually NO ALL OF THIS WOULDNT HAPPEN IF FEYRE JUST FUCKING KILL HIM #KILL THAT BITCH FEYRE U DESERVED TO #RUNAWAY AND LIVE FREELY GIRL #FREE MY GIRL FEYRE!!!!!!!!#the fact stans ignored that nesta literally apologized to feyre in acosf and rhysand has not ONCE spat out the word “sorry” IN ANY OF THE #FUCKING SERIES #LITERALLY IN CHAPTER 54 ACOMAF ALL HE DO IS YAP YAP AND BLAB BLAB LIEK SHUT THE FUCK UP U STUPID BITCH #“i have a sad backstory :((( pls excused my horrid actions :(((” WOMP WOMP BITCH #you guys need to remember that rhysand has never ONCE apologized for all the horrible actions he did to feyre #yall claim to be feyre stans and proceed to defend this shit is fucking gross #sorry for this very angry rant in the tags yall

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soup-of-the-daisies · 6 months

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[opens fic] “moony has always been the smartest out of all of us” [closes fic]

#I’m curating my internet experience you see #dldr in action. it’s how it works #that being said remus was NOT the smartest #teenage remus holding a book once does not equate to being very clever #i don’t think a man running away from literally any type of hard situation is one to use his brain regularly i’m sorry #abandoning harry after sirius dies remus yes how smart of you. it’s not like you’re now the last semi-positive connection to his parents #all three of them #keeping an escaped alleged convict’s sneak-away-scot-free ability to yourself whilst said convict may be targeting your dead bff’s child…#OHHH HOW SMART #i don’t even see it as selfpreservation at this point. he just wasn’t thinking at all other than like #wallowing in self-pity. oh no james’ son looks like james. oh no i’m a werewolf. oh no sirius is the embodiment of all of my regrets #how many times do you think remus spotted padfoot watching harry from the shrubbery and he just went ‘none of my business’#like this wasn’t the exact reason he got hired in the first place.#tagging this #remus lupin critical #just to be safe #fanon remus would literally maul canon remus and people would kiss his casanova feet for it

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swordbending · 3 months

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I'm over people saying "give the live action a chance before you criticize it" like trailers are mostly a marketing tool to convince ppl to watch smth but they're also there to let viewers decide whether they think smth is worth their time. if people look at trailers & promo and decide they aren't gonna like it based on that that's no one's problem but the marketing team's

#like yes I'm a hater I've been a hater since the live action was announced #not gonna stop so I can give one episode a chance when I know it's gonna disappoint me lol #like ??? idk the idea of people watching promo materials and seeing what the people involved in the actual production are saying #and responding to those things with criticism and saying actually I don't think this is worth my time #isn't a problem #you're free to be annoyed with people's opinions but it's dumb to say they should wait to form opinions before actually watching the show #like that's not what promo material is supposed to let you do....#it'd be one thing if this were a new show entirely but it's not #also there's a probably white dude playing sokka & I have not and will never get over that so #ruins the whole show for me as a sokka stan lmao #(although even if he was native he's not impressing me - sorry should I wait to watch more before forming that opinion)

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shopcat · 29 days

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omfg people really need to calm the fuck down about people disliking some characters like it's not always a deep seated prejudice or an inability to empathise it's because we are human beings with our own experiences and normal biases and fictional characters are not real and it doesn't matter if you don't like them for pretty much any reason at all and doesn't make you suddenly x just because the character is y it just means you don't like them. obviously other indications of actual prejudice or a repeated pattern mean something else entirely but you can just dislike a character because get this they're a character and not a real person. you can dislike real people too even it's almost like we've got free will. please oh please can we get out of the torture chamber together.

#🐾#just saw the dumbest post ever i wish you could take away someone's keyboard #saw someone say it was inherently misogynist to not like zuko's damn mom like omfg #she's literally a 2 dimensional nothingburger i'm sorry i don't give a FAUCK 😭 people are so damn annoying #i don't like her cuz of the way she treated azula and OBVIOUSLY!!! because my own mother hates me and abandoned me but loves her other #children. and OBVIOUSLY!!!! this means i seriously don't give a fuck about her and honesrlt wish she (ursa) were dead and You know what..#it doesn't MATTERRRR SHES NOT REAL. GET A FUCKING GRIP 😭 FICTION IS A REFLECTION OF REALITY #obviously i would and do feel differently about complex family dynamics irl but you know what's not real irl either. FIRE MAGIC #YOU BRAINDEAD IDIOTS SERIOUSLYYY #every actually ridiculously insane motherfuckerrrr who claims all ursa ''haters'' are inherently morally Wrong just make me hate her more #like awww yeah it is so sad. it's so sad to abandon your children and favour one over the other and also enable all of your husbands #actions that's so sad #ngl i don't really care that much but people who act like the wife of the colonist is 100% innocent is crazy #and treating her like some sad trapped victim who also has no free will is like... Well it's not NOT racist #like she was not actually trapped considering she you know left and was always fully capable of doing so #okay this was obv a rant i won't delete it but like tldr harmless biases like this seriously don't hurt anything and don't make ppl who #don't like her Woman haters. esp bc most ppl who don't like who do it bc they Do love azula 😭 but for me personally it's just like sorry #she's a bad mother. and i have no mother anymore. So i'm allowed to hate her. ..

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ikemenomegas · 1 year

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Omega!Gojo Satoru x Alpha!Reader

I believe we are fated to do the things we choose anyway*

gege akutami is the kind of mangaka who makes fun of almost all their characters. with utmost affection, gojo deserves to be bullied a bit. we love that he's a little heartless, a little frivolous, that he's powerful as a fact, that he cares a little bit strangely, so doing him a bit of justice, here's the mirror to Getou's youth story

tw: canon character death, spoilers for the manga, gojo's emotional constipation and egotism

Toji Zenin cut so many threads the day he arrived on the Tokyo school grounds, but the one between you and Satoru survived. It's already a miracle that Riko was the only one who died that day. The miracle of surviving should have been enough, but now you've lived long enough to find out how much you could love someone too. You get to see how afraid someone is of loving you. Gojo Satoru had one friend. Gojo Satoru had one mate. That was it, that was all he could let himself have.

Springtime Tokyo is still cold. Not as cold as up north in the mountains, but the winter uniforms are blessedly warm. An assistant manager drops you off at Tokyo Jujutsu Technical School on a milky March morning where you are met by Yaga-sensei, the first year teacher.

This teacher has some kind of idea about building community, which is why he's clustered the four of you first-years in the same building, around a loud blue-eyed boy who barely takes one look at you, squinting around a pair of blackout sunglasses, at your purposeful non-expression, before he is grinning, far too wide and it feels like he gets even louder, movements expansive to pull you into the range of an argument he's having with a tall slim boy with long hair tied at the back of his head.

Yaga-sensei just shakes his head and introduces you to Ieri Shoko, who is physically leaning away from the noise as if to escape some blast radius and has the most distant smile you've ever seen in your life on her face.

It's unsettling is what it is. The dark haired boy is just rolling his eyes at the one who had somehow both dismissed you and pulled you into his orbit. The automatic response is to try and get that attention back, but you have at least a little more self respect than that. You climb the stairs to take a room on the same floor to Shoko-san's and leave them to their snipping. You don't see Gojo fall silent for half a second before carrying on bickering, Yaga now stepping in to separate them.

School hasn't quite started yet. It's a boarding school so everyone is just around, getting the lay of the school, setting up their rooms, exploring Tokyo, running into one another and trying to figure out how their pieces fit together.

Satoru has already sorted you all into neat little piles of adjectives

Polite: the boy with the long dark hair, Getou Suguru, although this doesn't necessarily mean nice he notes gleefully. Self righteous and reactive, as in he can be baited into a no holds barred fight, which is new for him. He hasn't been able to fight someone who could hold their ground for more than a minute since he was thirteen. Subversively irreverent.

Morbid: the shortie with the short hair, Shoko Ieri. She discovered her abilities somewhere and even Satoru has to admit some of the diagrams she pulls up are admirably disgusting. Neutral. Satoru has never met someone else who sticks so close to their own whims before but she isn't like anything he expected, dismissive, meandering, goading. And she can't explain how she does what she does, which is aggravating because he can't do it.

And you, the new one. The last to arrive. Fresh meat. Quiet, wary.

You catch him not following you, but showing up near where you are a little too frequently to feel coincidental while you're making a point to meet the upperclassmen. He adds opportunistic and watchful to the list when he notices you do this, but some of the older students seem to find it vaguely endearing - the clan ones like a small animal they can toss treats, the recruited students who aren't trying to suck up to the clan kids with the cautious familiarity of greeting another outsider.

He tries tossing you a treat, granting you some offhanded attention in the common space of what is now the first years' block. Suguru laughs at him when you mostly look confused and apologetically tell him you've never seen either of the movies he wants to debate before refilling your water bottle and wandering back out onto the school grounds with your umbrella.

School starts regardless with some tentative unspoken agreement between the four of you to try and be friends, or at least classmates. There is after all, no one else to be friends with.

Class is boring, so Satoru watches his classmates. Where Shoko is passive and watchful and Satoru is staring into the air, you're openly attentive and Suguru more casually mirrors your attention. Which makes him want to call you another boring small-town bumpkin

Except you are in the same the advanced mechanics elective he is, and you and Shoko become animated discussing the curse anatomy lectures. Yaga takes you away to practice hand-to-hand with his dolls while he lets Satoru and Suguru pummel each other, which makes him think you must be too fragile to handle the two of them. Most people are, so he doesn't think much on it.

Satoru sometimes goes out alone to train when he can't sleep. He lashes out at the wooden dummies on the practice field, ducking under wooden arms and lashing out to see sections of it spin faster. On one of these nights, a week or two into the first year, he sees you standing outside the track, leaning on a railing, face buried in a thick scarf. He's aware of your vague attention, watching him without any particular interest, like how one might watch water sliding under a bridge, but when he sneaks a glance around the practice dummy, you're just as often more fixated on the sky. The moon is full and you're watching the clouds chase across the deep blue expanse, listening to Gojo Satoru's knuckles impacting on wood. And then at some point, he looks over and you're gone, your weird cursed energy signature fading in the dark.

Satoru only sees your technique the first time a substitute makes you spar with everyone else during training while Yaga is away. Apparently the teacher is someone you know because you get into the first argument he's ever seen before you send a spear flying so fast it hits the center of a target and topples it over.

The same teacher makes you fight Satoru, to already defeated attempts at appalled refusal. He'd usually help you push back just on principle, but he hasn't gotten to go on a mission with you yet and his sometimes oppressive curiosity has settled on whether you actually can keep up with him after all.

You can't, but this is Gojo Satoru at fifteen, not fully realized, and the first time he fights you he amends how he feels about "opportunistic". He flies right at your face and swears he makes contact, but you step back at the last minute and he feels an impending impact from his left that is almost the same strength as his own attack. He tries again and you twist out of the way much faster than he had expected. He tries to throw you and you end up descending slowly to the ground, trying to get the teacher to end the bout. Eventually Satoru overwhelms you and breaks your arm when you try to block too many hits in rapid succession. Shoko fixes it, and you wince with gritted teeth and tears in your eyes but don't cry or sob or glare at him with the kind of face that is calling him names you can't say out loud. The demonstration has him, fortunately or unfortunately, folding you into the energy of your little first year group like you'd been there all along.

He's a shaman clan kid, so it's interesting to see you now as not necessarily opportunistic but curious about the other sorcerers, about other people. What a novelty, to be inconsequentially curious. If he'd been too curious as a child he would be either lectured on responsibility or nearly drowned in related gifts meant to appease his moods

You don't appease his moods and the attention of him, one of the strongest sorcerer of the generation, doesn't appease you.

Satoru tries to bait you and things go right over your head. He tries to disrupt your silent, invisible schedule and you let him drag you away with minimal fussing, especially when Shoko or Suguru is involved, but will wander to the side on outings and either find some accidental trouble or something that makes him a little surprised at the intensity of your focus.

He forces you into a combat-determined wager that demands you stop using honorifics with his name and Suguru's name and Shoko's name (without asking the other two) and there's no way for you to get out of it or win so that forces some artificial closeness that becomes real. Language is very important for creating distance, for creating hierarchy and Satoru somehow isn't interested in a hierarchy between you.

He is however far more self conscious of his omega status than Suguru is. He won't say it, but it's a relief when none of you make a big deal out of it when you find out and also a surprising comfort when you and Shoko who don't have to suffer through the literal additional headache of heats try and make them comfortable

For Satoru this involves distracting him by playing video games with him, watching movies, or tossing balls of paper at him while he tries to stop it with his technique. Mostly he's with Suguru, especially if they sync up, but Satoru doesn't have the same heat symptoms as him. During first year even though he sleeps more than he does as an adult, it's typically less than the rest of you might want. Where Suguru gets tired, Satoru will get cranky and mean because he's bored and feverish and Suguru is too tired to entertain him. His family also was never very comforting during his heats so he knows what to do as far as nesting, but having people around is new for him.

He likes to call and text you if you're on missions during these times, which is typical given his clan's sensitivity to him being around alphas at these times.

So even when you're on campus, you and Shoko only spend a few hours with him at a time. Sometimes you play games and the heat makes him almost slow enough to beat on a DS link game. Sometimes he makes you do his homework. Sometimes he likes to throw throwing things at you to see how you use your technique to deal with it.

He adds "sentimental" to the list of adjectives when he realizes he can so easily pressure you in these times into revealing more of yourself to him than you usually do. He's bored and there's only so many things to talk about before you start telling him about an encounter with one of the rare cats that will tolerate living around the cursed energy of the campus, when you grimace and tell him about a terrible noodle stand in Yamanashi province that you still crave somehow, when you tell him about saving fallen leaves in a heavy dictionary you use for that purpose, or the one time you reveal that you've kept every pair of shoes your parents bought you to wear on the first day of school. You tell him these things and it makes him feel like maybe, someday, he might want to tell you things too.

It's not soft but there's a softness to it. A genuineness in the four of you together, in Satoru's and Suguru's growing strength and self surety. Satoru tries to make himself the center of the world, because it's fact that is where he has been all along. But he's not so easily the center of your world. You didn't come from his world.

Satoru doesn't fall. He doesn't think hard about why it becomes so. He barely thinks about it all. He just knows at some point that you're one of his. You're one of his and he wants you to pay him the attention he' accustomed to as center of the world (except he doesn't maybe. He'll be able to say it one day that what he loved was you treating him like he was as human as he could be)

He's terrible at acknowledging whether this possessiveness is anything in particular. After a sparring session, you watch Shoko patch a cut on Suguru's arm with so much longing and a pang of something worms its way in Satoru's chest. He crowds in next to Suguru before Shoko's done, draping over Suguru's shoulders. You don't see the way Satoru's eyes flicker from Shoko's steady hands to your wide-eyed gaze.

He's jealous the way a child is jealous of a favorite toy, hooking his arm around your neck if any omegas outside of school talk to you in the street. If you brush him off when he's trying to use you as a tool for self-affirmation, he sulks around until you acknowledge him in some other way and he will not admit to a single soul why it matters. When he's forced to go home for holidays like oban and returns in a terrible pique, you may fight with him if he lashes out in the worst, most personal ways. You push back and talk to instead of around him or through him and you also don't realize that is why he backs off.

He realizes slowly that he has to be careful with you. He forgets sometimes that you're more fragile that Suguru, that you need help Shoko doesn't need. On what you call the "worst school trip in existence" and Shoko calls "lucky we didn't all die" and Suguru smiles and calls "well we all made it out in the end", even Satoru got injured, yet he feels invincible, like he caught a bullet and threw it back.

When Toji nearly kills him and everyone he ever cared about, he awakens with the power to keep it from happening ever again. He thinks he can carry the world for all of you, for everyone, reveling in his power. He doesn't realize that his presence, the gravity well he made in the monster class's lives, doesn't exist the same way while he's not there because he has a tendency to think everything will be easy for him to fit back into when he returns, or not to think on the fact things could change at all.

Then Suguru leaves and the center of Satoru's world, his reference point, collapses

You're there in Shinjuku the day it happens. It's getting cold again. You're there to meet Shoko. Suguru has gone missing, Satoru is... away. Again. Still. He's been absent whenever he is around anyway. The jujutsu world doesn't have the resources to devote to hunting curse users in particular so the effort to find Suguru has been halfhearted at best and even if he's on your minds, you have jobs to do still.

You're there in Shinjuku and when you don't find the person you're looking for, you find someone else, It shouldn't happen, but it does. You run into Satoru, mind reeling at Suguru's betrayal. You nearly don't see him and he nearly doesn't see you except he sees everything and he's been walking around the district like a ghost.

He appears like a ghost too, tall and pale and ridiculous eyes. You'd tried to see if the world reflected in them once, but now it's more obvious to you than ever that it's just him, nothing more and nothing less.

"Let's go back," he says, and for the first time in months, you return to the college, side by side on the train, feeling like there should be more people in the near-empty car. You get as far as you can before you get to a station that's closed where you can no longer transfer and then you get out and walk in silence.

You walk like there's another person jostling for space between you. When you get to the school, Shoko meets you at the red tori gates. When you get to the mostly empty dormitory building, now a little emptier, Satoru looks at you. And looks and looks and looks. This time, he feels like you might disappear in the pre-dawn light casting your faces in blue.

Maybe it's because he's already lost one precious thing long before he noticed it was gone that he grips your shoulders tight, so tight you almost wince, but turn into it instead, tilting your head as though, were you less careful people, you might brush your cheek against his hand. Just for a little bit of comfort, for a little familiarity.

Then Shoko makes a noise at the top of the stairs, the scuff of her foot, the tap of her palm on the banister. What a terrible day it must be if Shoko is interfering. And you step away.

Satoru doesn't go to bed. For the first time in his life he feels like he doesn't know who he is. He watches your light come on and then go off. He doesn't see you stand at the mouth of the hall leading to Suguru's room with a blanket around your shoulders until eventually you turn away and fall asleep on one of the common room couches, near to where a year of his body in the same spot had left an indent. He doesn't think about the world where you aren't here, where he never sees you again, because he can't quite fathom it.

Because even when he was gone, he never felt like he had let any of you go

It makes him feel sick to his stomach, the closeness of someone else, but it feels worse to push you away so you sit shoulder to shoulder with him some time in the morning. He pretends not to see the new dark shadows in your eyes. You sit and watch the mist burn off and pretend his warmth can hide how the world is a little colder.

*I didn't fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway. And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you ― Kiersten White, The Chaos of Stars

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #a/b/o #a/b/o dynamics #omegaverse #alpha!reader #omega!gojo #reader insert #gn #i'm sorry this is so much longer than the getou one #I changed styles to write something else and couldn't get back to the broad strokes style of the getou bit #i want to expand on both #this show is really good and the potential here is too much to resist #the quote came to mind because the six eyes user has a specific kind of fate #but the idea of fate has a lot of interesting discussion around it in between religions #jjk plays a lot with buddhist/shinto/christian imagery including the idea of a fate thread tangled between certain power centers #i was raised in a christian centered culture which has certain beliefs about predetermination that can get incredibly depressing.#fate is generally defined as a predetermined and inescapable path of action or consequences #you can't escape it no matter what choices you make #which seems glum #karma on the other hand has something more to do with tendencies - the things you do to yourself/by yourself that lead to consequence #karma is separate from fate. even if you escape the cycle of karma or samsara you cannot escape fate #little interaction with fate are common - seeking explanations of future fortune or charms to pull you in the direction you want to go #ultimately there is a tension between the human ability to act at will (karma/free will) and fate #How do you justify acting if everything is predetermined? one can trap themselves in ontologic questions about purpose and actions #there is an inevitably and circular in accepting that maybe we can't escape fate but that fate also can't escape us #our actions were always going to matter #io.omegas

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charizardstolemynickname · 8 months

Text

"Aziraphale would have confessed his feelings first if Metatron didn't give him a job offer"

OKAY BUT YOU ARE NOT UNDERSTANDING ME, CORRECT, EXCEPT HE DID CONFESS

Aziraphale is an angel who more than anything loves God/Heaven and Crowley. He loves more things (his bookshop, human food, books, classical music, etc) but the things he loves more than life itself is heaven and Crowley

And so, often, those 2 loves would contradict each other. His bond to Heaven told him that all Demons were evil and wrong, that demons shouldn't be trusted. And his bond to Crowley told him everything Heaven said was wrong, or in some capacity was wrong. It took years (literally hundreds if not thousands) for Aziraphale to find a rhythm that worked best

Aziraphale KNEW Crowley wouldn't want heaven back, and he also knew heaven wouldn't want Crowley back. He respected both of those wishes and cared deeply for both still. He knew what Heaven did to Crowley was unfair, and knew heaven was sometimes wrong (season 1) but to him, that doesn't make Heaven as a whole wrong, only flawed

He also knew Crowley had done some not very nice things as a demon, that he didn't agree with. Again, that doesn't mean Crowley was wrong, just that he had some flaws

And so when given the opportunity, to fix Heaven's flaws, in the way that is proper, why would Aziraphale not take it? For 6000 years he had the 2 sides of his heart fighting over what is right, (and who/what is right, Crowley or Heaven). But NOW? He can fix Heaven, none of those Angels in charge before knew anything, they hadn't been to earth, they hadn't felt human emotions, they didn't understand TRUE good and bad, didn't understand what the colour grey meant.

This was proven by Gabriel CHANGING AS A CHARACTER COMPLETELY once he fell in love with Beelzebub. Gabriel in season 1 was for the war, was actively going against everything Aziraphale stood for. Gabriel wouldn't listen to Aziraphale, no matter how much he spoke about how the war is wrong. But then he did listen, because he felt love, and the love made Gabriel realise the fight was ridiculous, and unnecessary

So YES Aziraphale saw that since Gabriel left, there is only 1 Angel left who understands the complexity of right and wrong with humans. And even then, Aziraphale knows he doesn't FULLY understand it, he couldn't on his own. Because the reason he did understand it was because of Crowley

Never once did Aziraphale try to get Heaven to bring Crowley's angel status back, and never once did he try convincing Crowley to go back to Heaven (before all this anyway) because he KNEW Crowley would say no

Of course Crowley would say no to Heaven (run by Gabriel), why would he not, it was incredibly flawed and they casted Crowley out for no reason

But now? Heaven could be better. Could be fixed. By Aziraphale, and Crowley

And Aziraphale KNOWS Crowley didn't really "fall" or "become evil", and so to Aziraphale, Crowley becoming an angel again isn't a crazy idea

Especially not when Crowley is exactly what Aziraphale pictures when he thinks of what an Angel should be. Crowley cares, Crowley trusts, Crowley does things for no other reason than to be kind. Crowley is the perfect angel to Aziraphale

SO, Aziraphale saying to Crowley "Come to heaven, come recreated heaven with me" IS a love confession. It's him saying "You are my everything, you are everything right in the world. I would never dare suggest you should forgive heaven, but heaven was wrong, we both know that, but you and I both know you were the perfect angel and still are. Heaven created by you will be the true heaven"

It's Aziraphale saying "I have loved you and Heaven for thousands of years, and never once asked either of you to change. Today, I want Heaven to change as it is wrong, I want it to change, and I want it to change to become perfect for you. I want it to realise that punishing you was wrong. I want Heaven to be completely different because I love you, and you deserve so much better than to be treated as you have been for these 6000 years. I have seen what Hell does, and I have seen what Heaven does. And I have the opportunity to fix one, and you are what inspires me to do so. You helped me see the flaws, loving you is the reason heaven gets to be better"

AND I KNOW CROWLEY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THIS, AND IT HURTS, BUT STOP SAYING AZIRAPHALE DIDN'T CONFESS FIRST BECAUSE ALTHOUGH HE DIDN'T SAY I LOVE YOU, HE MAY FUCKING HAVE

thank you for coming to my tedtalk

#this doesnt flow at all #and i kept thinking new things and forgetting where i was going #so i am so sorry for that #BUT FUCK OFF IF YOU THINK THIS WASNT SOME FORM OF CONFESSION #dont get me STARTED on “nothing lasts forever”#BECAUSE IF YOU THINK THAT IS ANYTHING OTHER THAN AZIRAPHALE TALKING ABOUT BEING IMMORTAL WITH CROWLEY #you are wrong #i dont care who you are you could be neil himself and you would be wrong (/j)#these immortal beings are idiots and terrible at communication #feel free to tell me if you think i am wrong #i welcome all disagreements but draw the line at aziraphale slander #i will defend his actions until i die #chr post #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #go2 #good omens s2 #good omens spoilers #good omens analysis #good omens s2 spoilers #go2 spoilers #go2e6 #good omens season 2 spoilers #long post #aziraphale has religious trauma and we all know it #this is a mess and a late night ramble so its all over the place #crowley #aziraphale

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