#sorry if im bein; annoying but!!1
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When the Levee Breaks (pt. 1)
Daryl Dixon x OFC
The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her. Right?
Chapt. Setting: Atlanta camp
Chapt. Warnings: degrading and sexist language, season 1 Daryl, he’s not nice in this, probably won’t be for a while.
Word count: 1600
A/N : (aka authors warning) this is written in Daryl’s POV soOo idk. Probably not everyone’s bag. Maybe it’s no one’s bag. These first three chapters are kinda rough and I’m sorry but I can only proofread my own stuff so many times before I either post it or delete it forever.
masterlist
17+ mdni for the whole story
After stringin’ a few squirrels for dinner I figure I should get back to camp. ‘m breakin’ through the tree line, and that’s when I see her. Beatle. Beatle, for the first time in… shit, who knows? Definitely years, I’m not exactly sure how many. Beatle, just fuckin’ sittin’ at my fire. Like somehow she knew it was mine and showed up just to take it from me. Just sittin’. Smile on her face like she belongs there. She doesn’t. She doesn’t belong at this camp, with these people. Shit, Beatle doesn’t even belong alive if I’m bein’ honest.
No one in this fuckin’ camp can hunt worth a damn. They’re gonna expect me to feed ‘em, ain’t they? Eventually. Eventually the food’ll run out and it’ll just be me feedin’ fuckin’ everyone. M’not doin’ it. I’m not doin’ shit for ‘em anymore. Why should I? Left my brother on that roof to rot. Naw, I’ll hunt for my damn self. Don’t even know why I’m still fuckin’ here. Should be out findin’ Merle. Honestly, don’t even know why I’m not.
Even before the dead started walkin’. I figured her days were numbered since the first fuckin’ time I met ‘er. Drunk as hell, eyes glassy, loud annoying voice barkin’ like a damn dog. Just yap yap yappin at Merle and me, tits half hangin’ outta her bikini top. Ones cinched in the string like she’d just forgotten to take ‘em out from her last time around the bar. A dumb drunk bitch, Beatle. Stupid fuckin’ stripper name. Who’s dick gets hard over a stripper named Beatle?
I watch her, just for a second, checkin’ to see if maybe it’s not really her. But it is. ‘Course it fuckin’ is.
Shane’s the first person I see that’s not doin’ anything, going through some clothes in a duffel bag in the back of a van, figure he might know, “Where the fuck did she come from?” Pointing toward Beatle, her back to us, fifty yards away. Stupid purple hair blowing all over the damn place.
Shane looks to see who I’m pointing at, but who the fuck else is new at camp? His eyes finally land on Beatle before looking back at me like he’s trying to fight the smile on his damn face, “Why? You interested?”
I’m tryin’ not to lose my shit that she’s even fuckin’ here. “Nah…” I shake my head, “I know ‘er.”
Shane looks up, surprised maybe, and then not. Looking from Beatle back to me again, eyeing us up. “Yeah, makes sense.”
I squint back at ‘im, “S’that supposed ta mean?”
He shrugs, making a face, before smiling again, folding another shirt into his pack, “Just that you look like you might know eachother.” He doesn’t say more but I know what he’s not sayin. “Is all.” He adds on the end just to reiterate.
He means we’re both fuckin redneck trash to anyone who looks at us. I look back over at her, startin’ to get real mad at this jarhead dickhead. Not for her or nothin’. Even if he’s right, he don’t gotta say it. Or maybe it was the way he said it. Or the way he didn’t say it. Like a fuckin’ pussy.
A part of me feels like standin’ up for myself. Hell, a part of me feels like stickin’ up for Beatle. But, shit, it’s not even worth it.
I cough up a lougie and spit it close to his foot. “So where’d she come from?” I’m fuckin’ repeating myself. I hate fuckin’ repeating myself.
“Think she just wandered in. Must’ve been lost in the woods or something. Ask Rick. He seems to know everything.”
Can’t keep myself from crackin’ at his petty comment. Always so fuckin’ loud with his contempt, makin’ the situation obvious to anyone with eyes. Messy.
I decide I’m gonna ask ‘er. She’s gonna see me eventually. Better I approach her first, right? Don’t need to get football tackled in the middle of doin’ somethin’ else when she sees me for the first time. So I pull out a cigarette and start walkin’ over.
She’s talkin’ to Andrea. She fuckin’ would. Both of them loud dumb bitches. Talking about all the dumb shit they miss since everything’s turned to shit. Not talkin’ about people or nothin’ important. Just bullshit like getting your damn nails done, and eating fuckin’ ice cream.
“Where’d you fuckin’ come from?” Sayin it louder than I meant. More aggressive than I thought my voice would sound. Usually fuckin’ is, though. The laughing between Andrea and Beatle stops and they look over at me, just standing there waitin’ for it to register. Waitin’ for Beatles reaction. Starin’ ‘er the fuck down like she doesn’t fuckin’ belong here. She doesn’t.
Beatles eyes light up, getting up from her chair and runnin’ over to me like she’s never been more excited to see someone in her whole damn life. I try to brace myself, but she still rocks me backward as she jumps on me, “Daryl!” Should have stopped her, could have moved just right out of the way. But nah, I let her.
I don’t hug her back though, just push her off and let her own feet catch her. Dumb bitch doesn’t know personal boundaries. Her voice so close to my ear, “Damn, don’t look so happy to see me.”
Happy to see her? I’m not. Didn’t think I could be so unhappy to see a familiar face in my whole fuckin’ life. But she wasn’t letting that stop her, never fuckin’ did. “I was lost, found this camp. They said I could stay.” She explains, her voice high and happy and annoying as it ever was. At least she’s not drunk.
Everyone around the fire had gone back to what they were doing. Not watchin’ us anymore. They could probably see as well as Shane that it was obvious how we knew eachother. Well, maybe not exactly how. But they probably had a good idea.
I dunno what to say to her explanation, so I don’t say nothin’. And she just stands next to me, too close, clearly not gettin’ the hint that I didn’t really wanna talk to her. Just wanted to know why she was here. Now I know. She wasn’t gettin’ that she could and should just go back to her conversation with Andrea about ice skating, or cocktails, or what the fuck ever.
“What about you?” Her voice quieter for fuckin’ once.
I shake my head, blowing smoke out, “Merle and me, met up with everyone...” I don’t feel like explaining it, so I don’t.
Beatle’s lookin’ up at me, her big eyes all wide and excited like a dumbass deer too stupid to move out of traffic, “Merle’s here?”
This coil of disgust, I feel it snaring it’s way through my abdomen. Yeah, that’s the feeling Beatle usually gives me. Back like it never fuckin’ left. “Nah, not anymore. Sorry to dry your cunt.”
Beatle says “Ew” fast. Like she’s so disgusted by my vocabulary. Like she isn’t just as crude, the things I heard that little mouth of hers say.
“He’s not…” she means dead.
“Nah, hes not dead.” Usually this is where I talk something nice about Merle, about how he’s a tough sunuvabitch or some other shit. But not to Beatle. Beatle already knows, and for some reason talking about Merle with her makes me.. fuck… whatever.
Glancing over, it looks like Beatle’s finally got the hint that I don’t wanna talk to her. She probably really was excited to see me, and I almost feel bad for a second. Before she puts her grubby fuckin’ hand in my face and asks if she can have a cigarette. Needy fuckin’ bitch.
I laugh right in her face. At the gall of her. That at the end of it all, of everything; she was still trying to get some fuckin’ handout. “Naw.”
“Oh, come on, Daryl, please? I haven’t had one in days!” As if I give a shit what she has or hasn’t had. Hasn’t seen me in years and wants to ask for favors?
I keep draggin’ on my cigarette, blowin’ the smoke out, and m’not smiling anymore, “I said naw. I don’t see your tits out, why would I give you anything?” Fuck repeating myself.
“You wanna see my tits?” She says it like it’s actually a question. Like she really fuckin’ believes that I’m askin’.
“You’re a dumb bitch, Beatle, y’know tha’?” I shake my head at her, laughin’ at her again. She’s fuckin’ ridiculous. Taking another drag I realize the cig is trash, and I almost throw the butt into the fire but decide to hand it to her instead.
She takes it, with needy fingers like I knew she fuckin’ would. Trying to hide my smile at how fuckin’ pathetic she always seems to be. Watching her take my trash like it’s fuckin’ gold. She drags it once, I can smell the filter burning and she throws it in the fire. “Next time maybe you’ll share one with me?” Her voice is so sweet it makes me sick. Like I didn’t just call her a dumb bitch to her face.
Saccharine and fake, that’s how she’s always been. All her cute little movements and motions, all just tryin’ to work me up so I’ll share my smokes or listen to her dumbass whine about anything and everything. Annoying.
“Prolly not.” And I’m already walking away from the fire. From Beatle. Going back to my tent and praying to god, Jesus Christ, don’t let her follow.
Chewin’ on what she said. Lost, huh? See? Didn’t even belong alive.
pt 2
#twd daryl#daryl dixon#the walking dead daryl#daryl fanfiction#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon x oc#Mean Daryl
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Chapter 1: The Calling
My eyes creak open and I am greeted by emptiness. There is nothing and no one except for me inside these awful walls. At least, nothing meaningful.
There’s supposed to be meaning. There’s supposed to be love, but there is nothing. And that’s what’s wrong here.
Everything changes and nothing persists.
I stay like this for a little longer, wallowing in my own woe and misery… then I get a call. The sound of California Boyz makes me jolt upright and grab the phone.
It’s an unknown number.
“This is Kieran Roe speaking.”
“Do you give out yer name to everyone like that, boy?” They had a thick, Welsh accent. I couldn’t quite place it as either northern or southern. It seemed to be leaning more north, though.
“Who is this?”
“No, seriously, do you really just hand out yer true name to every bloody person you come across? Like fuckin’ candy at a parade. I’d expect better of someone as educated as you.”
This time I clock the words. So they’re magical, or at least, aware of the supernatural. I sigh, “Look, if you’re just gonna reprimand me then we can just–”
“No, no, yer gonna wanna hear what I have to say.”
“Then say it.”
“Feisty, innit?” They audibly click their teeth together. “Alright, well, to introduce myself, people call me Collector.”
“Oh... You.”
“My reputation precedes me then?” He giggles.
“Yeah. What’s your business with me?”
“I hear ya got a story. A few, actually,” Collector explains. “Newest one bein’ some real Orpheus and Eurydice shite, I hear.”
I hang up and he calls right back.
I let it ring twice before sighing and hitting the answer button. I know he doesn’t just take, he trades, but that doesn’t stop the fact he struck a nerve. It’s a wonder he gets any clients with this dogshit business strategy.
“Leave me alone,” I bark.
“Wait!” He yells through the phone. “Listen, I’m sorry ‘bout it. Really am. It’s tragic, innit?” Collector clicks his teeth together again. “I didn’t call ya to tease. Really.”
“Then why?” The question came out shakier than I wanted. I was practically oozing venom. Who gave this bastard the right to talk to me like this and then backpedal. Hell, all I know is his title and his pronouns. I don’t even know who he is.
“I got whatcha need.”
I inhale sharply. “And what is that?”
“You wanna look for yer lover boy, yeah? See where they are in all of the realms? A way to divine ‘im?”
“... Y-yeah. Actually.” I take a few deep breaths. I fumble with the day-old braid in my hair to ground myself.
This is it. This is my shot, but why would it fall into my lap like this? It just didn’t sit well, but I couldn’t just let it pass me either.
“Great,” Collector continues, noticing my baited breath. “I got just that. But business is a face to face affair I reckon. So listen up. Grab a pen n’ paper, or whatever you have to fuckin’ record this. I don’t care.”
I quickly scavenge my nightstand like a man possessed. I shove magical artefacts of unknown power and origin aside and onto the floor. I need this.
Finally, I find my journal of spells. I don’t even care if it wasn’t made for this purpose. I just have to record this.
I have to know.
And so I do as told. I transcribe it and even have him repeat it for good measure.
“When?” I asked.
“Whenever. ‘Fore you do, you’ll have to scrawl a lil symbol on the door. It oughta be in…”
He pauses. He pauses for so long, in fact, that I start wondering whether or not he had hung up. Or died.
Eventually, he pipes up. “You got a copy of ‘Sigil Magick and How To Annoy The Gods’, yeah?”
“Yeah. How’d you know?”
“I assumed. Anyhow, page 54. If you have the first edition, then it’s 52. If you have the collector’s edition, 69.”
“Thanks. Anything else?”
“Yeah. Be ready to impress me.”
And he hangs up.
“Yeah, definitely not ominous at all,” I mumble.
I flop onto the bed, flip phone still in hand.
And I stay like that for a while, occasionally letting out loud, dramatic sighs. I even move to put my hands in my face.
Before I can even grumble out the rest of my grievances, I fall.
I fall deeper and deeper. The dull sunlight hitting my eyelids falls away into nothing. It’s just a void. A sea of nothing but stars.
Me and the stars.
Millions of stars surrounded by billions of worlds.
So small.
So alone.
It’s cold in the vastness. It always is.
Without love, there’s nothing left but a cold eternity. The love of friends and family. When you cannot claim or create happiness in a cruel world, what’s left but that world?
I fall deeper and into a memory.
Suddenly it’s a tepid day and I’m on that old farmstead. Scarless hands feel the grass and I look over to see them.
“Blaidd,” The name rolls off my tongue naturally. In this state, the horrors have yet to touch me- us. Everything’s alright.
“Yeah, what’s up, Roeboat?”
I roll my eyes at the name.
“Tough crowd… How about Roebot?” They ask.
“I think Roeboat was cuter,” I shake my head, “Listen… I was thinkin’-”
“Dangerous thing for you, y’know?” Blaidd interjects, now laying in the grass. Limbs spread.
“Yeah, I know. Don’t wanna strain my brain cells.”
“All two of ‘em.”
“Yup,” I start joining them in the grass. I turn and stare at them. They were so beautiful. In so many different ways. I loved every part of them, even the parts they thought unlovable. It was an unconditional kind of love.
My favourite sort.
I blink and continue. This is still a memory and I am forced to play it out as planned. Lest my brain twist it. “Anyway. I wanted to ask you. Do you think this’ll last? Us? This view. This life.”
“I dunno. Prolly not, but that’s fine y’know?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Blaidd plants a little kiss on my cheek. “Things change, but that doesn’t mean things are gone. Got it? What’s with the existential questioning anyhow?”
“I dunno. I guess I just get like that sometimes.”
“Pft. Brains are weird,” Blaidd chuckles. “You gotta try livin’ with no thoughts sometime.”
“Like you?” I look over at them. The grass only slightly gets in my eye, but that’s alright. I get to look at them and that makes it okay.
“Yeah! Ex-act-ly.”
I giggle and fall asleep, content
And so, I fall up. My flesh begins to sear painlessly again as new scars begin to reform. I am no longer untouched, but rather, in the present again. I rise above the vastness and eventually into consciousness.
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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS
i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas
SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.
warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot
officer!daichi
we are: vigilante/troublemaker
loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much
nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins
u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl
He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date
but let’s talk about before yall got together
he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall
bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u
HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???
you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close
and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty
and this would continue for a while
but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase
some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow
he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it
and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u
he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore
and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.
yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING
it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)
he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love
u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses
u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)
u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u
u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street
but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.
unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things
after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)
THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA
but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”
PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time
u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass
bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there
even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment
but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others
and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*
his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)
the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3
u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera
he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it
daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333
IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP
bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)
daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-
in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY
househusband!oikawa
we are: girlboss sugar mommy
somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife
and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant
IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.
sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it
his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”
please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding
when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.
only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long
yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo
he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking
probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”
8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house
he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min
please find him a hobby
crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering
like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies
please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way
does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention
speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment
don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”
one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”
ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”
So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.
“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”
u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it
tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it
Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”
bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified
beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny
also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm
but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)
now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine
you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi
ceo!kuroo
we are: secretary
bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours
but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break
one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”
flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE
but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more
HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though
will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM
he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare
RIP janet from accounting
that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again
it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you
bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention
*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”
but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank
and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.
once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you
def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again
prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention
maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile
he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)
sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever
you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you
he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!
never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you
but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)
bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH
brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too
no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH
BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”
it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”
yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u
KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u
he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf
but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3
also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him
it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333
you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced
HES the one who has a crush on you
you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss
he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp
offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him
bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-
he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love
probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd
in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank
dog hybrid!bokuto
we are: owner
Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333
OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT
he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him
please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs
he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!
the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy
HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3
soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob
the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY
he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u
destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent
tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS
loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua
gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!
ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head
which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other
so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention
If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic
but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it
u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!
def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back
“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”
doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth
doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it
speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word
SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING
u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips
big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out
he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud
hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now
we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet
HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away
and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants
he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him
knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon
he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better
he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious
in other words i love doggy bokuto
pirate!ushijima
we are: kidnapped
ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa
just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)
thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt
so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon
but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable
he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333
he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading
but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it
you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea
mf made them walk the plank
you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean
he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure
speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for
“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”
bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened
hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf
equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors
U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)
oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP
it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333
“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES
HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT
tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”
“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”
he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF
HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY
but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”
but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe
sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u
oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)
they are given orders to protect u at all costs
speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns
almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him
he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff
ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-
he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more
is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??
he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333
no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man
whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages
speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away
wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant
bruh so powerful he walks on water
second coming of christ who
IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it
legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle
speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous
“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST
he’s got good intentions...i think…
but everyone literally knows he would dive after you
in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard
mafia leader!kita
we are: associate from different group/family
kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families
so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit
arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3
nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two
POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader
RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM
he owns the majority of the underground casinos
and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.
you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most
prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune
when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere
u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone
before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that
his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u
they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them
but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you
so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou
and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history
he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him
until they bribe him at just the right price
and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them
oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much
one time you were kidnapped and held hostage
bro saw red
MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH
he got world record time
wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that
and of course, made sure you were safe.
yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...
is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go
“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE
makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster
and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)
and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY
absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”
makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you
he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS
takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work
meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you
he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3
the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...
in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita
--
--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--
officer!daichi:
karasuno squadron consists of:
cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama
investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi
surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too
househusband!oikawa:
makki and mattsun are also househusbands
iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-
ceo!kuroo:
lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-
janet still a bitch
kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings
yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there
dog hybrid!bokuto:
kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did
kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.
hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned
i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.
pirate!ushijima:
tendou is practically is right hand man
the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-
BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.
mafia!kita:
the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.
suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.
aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards
a/n: im going to regret posting this
#haikyuu#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu captains#daichi sawamura#oikawa toru#kuroo tetsuro#kita shinsuke#ushijima wakatoshi#bokuto kotaro#x reader
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Lietuenant Colonel Idiot And The Kastat Root Part 2
Part 1
The first thing John is aware of when he starts to come to is the quiet beeping of machines. He knows that that’s never a good sign but he feels floaty and warm so he has a hard time caring about what exactly landed him in the infirmary this time.
He opens his eyes slowly, blinking against the overhead light, dim as it was in the moment but he doesn’t realize he’s made a noise until Teyla and Ronon quickly come into his line of vision.
“Hi,” he manages, voice hoarse with disuse, and you know, probably from the tube they’d shoved down his throat to anesthetize him when Carson had cut him back open to clean him up a little. “Where’s… what happened?”
He has a vague memory of a stomachache and of screaming but the pain meds they have him on makes it hard to think.
It also makes it hard to sleep, so when Teyla tells him gently that he should go back to sleep and they’ll fill him in later, he doesn’t argue.
He just closes his eyes and lets the darkness return.
--
It happens like that a couple of times before John finally, truly, wakes up.
He thinks that it’s probably the pain that does it, that pulls him back to the land of the lucid, as Beckett has started weaning him off of the good stuff.
He doesn’t remember much from those quick bursts of consciousness, but he does remember that while he’s seen Teyla and Ronon every time, he hasn’t once seen Rodney.
Where’s Rodney?
“Aye, Colonel,” Carson greets, leaning over as he adjusts John’s nasal cannula, Teyla and Ronon just visible over his shoulder. “Welcome back t’the land of the livin’, lad. How’re ya feelin’ this morning?”
“Where’s Rodney?”
He doesn’t miss the way Carson’s face shifts, just for a moment, nor does he miss the look shared by Teyla and Ronon. Something sits painfully in his gut at that and for one brief, horrible moment, he’s afraid that something happened to Rodney, something off-world, because Rodney was always here when he woke up, and--
“Settle down now,” Carson admonishes gently, and John is embarrassed to realize that the beeping on his heart rate monitor has sped up. “Rodney’s down in the labs, that’s all. He’s alright. The only one y’need to be worryin’ about now is yourself.”
“How much do you remember?” Ronon asks and John can tell by the look on Teyla’s face that she’s not pleased at the question.
It had been a routine mission, right? M3-X982, the Plesians, according to the ancient database.
Not so routine if you ended up here, his brain reminds him and okay, fair enough. He takes a second and tries to think through the brain fog he always associates with the good drugs. He remembers the almost meatloaf and the bad jokes told by Plesia’s leader, Korom. He remembers the heat--.
No. Not heat. The fever and the stomachache and--.
Screaming. Hoarse screams, begging them to stop killing him, for Ronon to let him go, for Teyla to help him. And Rodney… Rodney, holding the dagger looking very much on the edge of a panic attack as he sliced through John’s skin, flaying him open.
“Your appendix nearly ruptured,” Carson supplies, voice more gentle now. “Rodney recognized the signs fairly quickly but the doctor in Plesia was ill-equipped to operate.”
“Doctor McKay very likely saved your life, John,” Teyla says, a fact she’s tried to get through to Rodney since their return.
“Aye,” Carson agrees. “We had t’put ya under again to clean up a bit of infection and to right some suturin’, but he did bloody well considerin’ the circumstances.”
“Then why… why isn’t he here?” Because no one has actually told him that much, but John can probably guess why.
Guilt is a hell of a thing and John knows in an instant that he would’ve never wanted the roles reversed, would’ve never have wanted to have to--.
“I need to talk to him,” and he’s not exactly thrilled with how desperate he sounds but he really doesn’t care right. He needs to talk to Rodney, needs to seehim, to tell him he did good. He starts pulling at all the leads and wires and Ronon is there again, a firm hand on his shoulder, urging him back down.
“Let me talk to him first,” he says and even Teyla raises an eyebrow at that. Ronon isn’t exactly known for his uh, gentle nature, but when she meets John’s eyes, she gives him the slightest of nods.
“Tell him to get his ass in here, or I’m gonna come find him myself,” John warns, but there’s no heat. The slight exertion has left him very nearly panting through a wave of pain.
“I’ll be sure to pass on the message,” he says and without anything further, Ronon is gone.
--
Rodney McKay isn’t known for his silence. He knows he’s a loud, obnoxious, abrasiveman even on his best day and yet ever since they’d returned from Plesia, he hadn’t been able to muster up the strength to even so much as raise his voice.
It’s unnerving his scientists, he knows, but he doesn’t care. Mostly, he keeps to himself and keeps working, stopping only long enough for the occasional power nap and to replenish his supply of power bars.
He’s just finished the aforementioned nap when Ronon finds
him, trudging back down to the laps to continue his work on the ancient device they’d found some time ago. He’s hoping that with enough tweaking, it can be used to send a patient into something sort of a temporary stasis, long enough to get them back through the Stargate where an actual fucking medical team can--.
“McKay,” Ronon calls, but Rodney doesn’t stop.
“Little busy, Chewie,” he calls over his shoulder but it lacks the usual McKay bite.
“Sheppard’s awake.” Rodney does stop for that, but he doesn’t turn, shoulders tensing and he has to take a deep breath because he can feel something like panic trying to surge up again.
“Is he--?”
“Pissed? Yeah. Pissed that you weren’t there with us when he woke up.”
“Well I’m sorry that some of us have actual work to do and can’t spend days--.”
“You’re bein’ dumb.”
Rodney whirls around at that, and he can feel the vein in his forehead throbbing in anger because he’s not--! He’s just--!
“Sheppard probably wouldn’t have made it out of surgery without some major problems if we’d waited until the rain stopped. The Doc said so himself. Because of what you did, he’s got about another week of medicine and he’ll be back on his feet.”
“I am not that kind of doctor,” Rodney reminds Ronon and he hates how he sounds in that moment, so, so upset. So weak. The weakest on the team, always.
“You were the most qualified in that room to do what had to be done,” Ronon says and while that may actually be true, that won’t help when the nightmares come back. “You held it together better than either me or Teyla would’ve.” Rodney highly doubts that.
“Listen,” Ronon says and this may be the most words Rodney’s heard him string together ever. “It sucked but it had to be done. You can’t keep beating yourself up for it.”
We’ll see about that, Rodney thinks. “Thanks for the pep talk, Conan,” he says as he starts back for the labs.
“You’re goin’ the wrong way. Infirmary’s that way.”
Rodney doesn’t respond and he half expects Ronon to come after him, to throw him over his shoulder and haul him off to the infirmary, but a moment later, Rodney hears a quiet sigh and heavy footsteps falling away.
He’s just not ready yet.
--
Rodney might not be ready yet, but John’s never been the most patient person in the world. Especially not when it comes to Rodney. He’s tired, in pain, and annoyedby the time he makes it down to the labs, a trip that should’ve taken him five minutes on a good day but has taken nearly a half an hour for all the breaks he’s had to take to stop and lean against the wall.
Carson’s going to have a field day when he comes back from surgery to find that John’s managed to sneak out, but he’ll just have to deal with that later. For now, the only thing he’s concerned about is Rodney.
Atlantis takes pity on him and opens the door to the labs the minute she senses him approaching, allowing him to continue to hold on the wall as he slips inside and the minute he sees the slope of those shoulders in that blue shirt, any annoyance John had been feeling faded away.
“Listen Teyla,” Rodney says and he sounds exasperated which leads John to believe that the Athosian has been down here plenty while he’s been holed up in the infirmary. He’s glad for that though. Means his people are taking care of each other. “I appreciate y--,” he turns and the words die in his throat.
“Hi Rodney,” John greets, maybe a little dumbly and Rodney stands up so quickly that his stool topples backward.
John thinks maybe he’s going to haul off and punch him, so he braces for impact, but when Rodney approaches, he grabs John’s arm and hauls it around his shoulder, giving him something else to lean against.
“You’re supposed to be in the infirmary, you absolute idiot,” Rodney hisses and when he gets John seated on a stool, he moves to tap the communicator in his ear.
“Rodney, wait!” And he reaches for the other, closing his hand around Rodney’s wrist. “Just… gimme a minute, okay?”
Rodney hesitates, which is unusual for him. Rodney is always so sure of himself and quick to make
sure everyone knows it. Was this because of what happened on Plesia?
“Listen,” John says and that’s about as far as he gets before Rodney is talking over him.
“No! You listen, you, you, you irresponsible, stupid—”
There’s a half a second that John wants to be offended and starts to respond in kind, but he stops himself because he realizes that Rodney needs this. That he’s been holding this in since they got back from that stupid planet.
“You could have died! And not just from your stupid appendix, but your entire body could have gone into shock and you could have died! Because you were too stupid, too, too, too you to just go to the damn infirmary before we ever left!”
“I know, Rodney and I’m –”
“No! You don’t know. You have no idea!” He’s pacing now, wringing his hands together and John doesn’t think he’s ever seen him so upset. The thought that he’d been the one to cause that— “What if I’d been wrong, Sheppard? What if that had been for nothing? What if I’d—"
“Rodney,” John says and he stands then, ignoring the way that the room spins just a little. “Listen to me, okay? I’m fine. You did everything right, and you probably saved me from a really shitty next few weeks, assuming I hadn’t died. I wouldn’t be sitting here right now if it wasn’t for you.”
“But--.”
“No buts,” John answers. “I’m sorry you had to do that, that I made you have to make that choice. You’re right, it was stupid to go off world without getting checked out first and I’m sorry, alright?” He reaches up, rubbing uncomfortably at the back of his neck. “I just… wanted to, you know, thank you for saving my ass out there. And to tell you that I’m really glad to know that no matter what, you’ve got my back.”
And Rodney sags, all of the fight and the anger and maybe a little of the guilt too having gone out of him.
“You’re… really alright?”
“I’m really alright,” John promises him and this time, Rodney sags against the table, the tension leaving shoulders.
“Thank God,” he breathes, and a breath later, “you owe me for this.”
“Ah, there he is,” John says and he feigns annoyance, rolling his eyes.
“No, no, you don’t understand. You owe me.”
“I know, Rodney.”
He doesn’t protest as Rodney comes around again, hauling John’s arm over his shoulder and as they begin to make their way from the science lab, back to John’s own quarters, John lets Rodney’s incessant babble wash over him.
It felt good to hear it again, he realizes, even if he knows he’s never going to hear the end of this.
And honestly?
Well. He wouldn’t change that for anything in the world.
#fandom: sga#stargate atlantis#sga#sga fic#john sheppard#rodney mckay#ronon dex#teyla emmagan#hurt!John sheppard#john sheppard whump#teamfic
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HELLO BESTIE I am currently having Ralbert Brainrot and you're the best person go come to for this, obviously,, so PLEASE share! I would like to hear about ufc albert or youtuber race, or dancing partners!! I love them smm
HI YES HELLO USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO WRITE UFC FIGHTER AL PART 2 THANKS BABES
i just witnessed a literal crime and i’m Feeling The Rage (boxing judges at mma events can catch these hands) so here is. my brain on anger.
also the first half of this is pretty fight-talk heavy but the second half is more al/ralbert central so message me/send me an ask if i don’t explain something well enough <3
here is the ask i sent to @we-are-inevitable (thanks jac i’m in love with you mwah) and here is part 1 for this au if you haven’t read that one yet !!
also,,,,, this is fairly obvious. but trigger warning for violence/physical fighting, as well as blood. (it’s a rough gig y’all fjdhdb) oh and swearing but that’s pretty much just me LMAO
here i am, bein mad and writing ralbert. therapy time with chandler ig
OK SO
this is after his debut. duh. continuation
i think he’s probably 5 fights in with 5 wins. he’s been running people through, especially with four full camps after a short notice start, and he’s never even seen a decision in the ufc
let’s just say the hype train is moving FAST and it’s moving LOUD
everyone has to have those people that watch their fights just to see them lose, on top of the majority male fan base that have to have a little bit of toxic masculinity and homophobia in there
so there’s A LOT of people that are waiting for him and his hype train to get derailed. but there’s also a fair amount of fans, so you win some you lose some (the way i would die to see this be a real fighter pls)
now albert’s not always the most confident guy, and he’s never been cocky, but none of this shit gets to him. he’s got his coaches, he’s got his friends and he’s got race behind him. he knows he’s got the skills, and he’s got his support system, so who gives a shit what a bunch of cowards on the internet have to say?
and then they put him against someone known for his grappling and stamina. and the “it’s a wrap for dasilva!” bandwagon starts. it happens every time a rising striker and early knockout artist fights a well known grappler with any semblance of later round power (even if al has a background in wrestling and has gone 5 rounds and won outside of the ufc. it’s a bandwagon for a reason)
and it’s not Upsetting, it’s not really getting into his head in any way that’ll make him do worse, but it’s kinda pissing him off. which is bad for his opponent
the last person on earth you want to be fighting is an annoyed albert dasilva who thinks he has something to prove
he works his ass off in camp, and the press tour is a self-assured albert vs. a loudmouth who thinks he’s hot shit cause a few people on twitter think he’ll sweep
and, to be completely honest? it’s starting to look that way 2 rounds in.
it’s a 5 round fight, co-main event on a big card, and so far all al’s opponent has done is pinned him to the cage and kept him there. a few strikes worth anything - at least enough make al’s cheek bleed, no takedowns, which would at least give him some activity, and so submission attempts, so he can’t even gain any ground that way. he’s just- Stuck. and if THIS is how he loses, he’s gonna be pissed
the bell for the second round sounds, and you can actually see al’s chest heaving on camera as he walks to his corner - not because he’s tired or out of breath, but because he’s MAD, and fuck if he’s not going to do something about it
not only that, but he can not only see race and jack standing up by the cage - plus race’s expression, which is slightly annoyed and super anxious, which hurts his chest to think about - but he can hear them too
jack is yelling profanities, as per usual. he doesn’t that regardless of how the fight is going, but it’s less encouraging when you’re the one losing.
race though,,,, race isn’t really yelling, he’s more talking to himself than anything, but he’s close enough to cage and al knows him well enough to figure out what he’s saying. and if the muttered almost-prayers while he paces back and forth weren’t enough, the shiny gold engagement ring on race’s hand definitely is
round 3,,,, let’s just say it goes a little differently than the first 2 had gone.
he opens with a spinning back kick, of all fucking things, and that truly sets the pace
he’s the taller guy by a few inches, like usual, which makes his arms longer. the only reason crushing his against the cage worked is cause the guy he’s fighting cuts weight like a wrestler, so he’s easily got 20 pounds on albert come fight night
but once he finds his rhythm and starts throwing, he starts connecting too. he manages to stay out of range of his opponent and stay his comfortable distance to start t-ing off
this isn’t a one punch power ending. this isn’t a beautiful head kick, or a giant knee, or even just a clean right hook.
this is albert, who’s arms are starting to feel the 3rd round a little bit, hitting this guy with everything he has cause he refuses to lose this fight.
i mean- everyone watched him get up at the start of the round with a set jaw and a scary determined glint in his eye. he’s not a person you fuck with, and he’s definitely not a person you publicly ridicule before being locked in a cage to fight with
the guy he’s fighting is absolutely battered, but he manages to survive until round 4. the first of the championship rounds, something al’s never seen in a ufc fight before, and it feels like the arena is holding its breath
so when al comes out and does the same thing as round 3 to better results - fight ending results - everyone’s a little shocked, honestly
the commentary team’s in disbelief, cause albert is NOT a slow starter, regardless of what this fight would tell you, and the fact he managed a win at all, let alone such a phenomenal one, is fucking astounding
he gets his hand raised, obviously, but the really interesting part is the post fight interview
“albert, man, what changed between round 2 and 3? what second gear did you find?”
“bro, i just— it was pissing me off, honestly. i don’t come in here to get pinned down for 25 minutes. and, y’know, my team gave me good advice. i had all the pieces, straight from the jump, someone just had to force me to put them in place…”
and then he looks over at race, who gives al one of those half grin, half smirks and winks at him, and al just chuckles to himself and finishes answering the question
“the thing that really forced my hand is race. i won’t get cheesy on you, but watching someone who loves and supports you through everything panic cause he’s scared for you - it’s a big motivator. everyone would figure out a lot more of my motivations if they went and watched race’s expressions back instead of whatever the hell i’m doing in here. he’s always been the brains, i’m just the brawn.”
and that’s a better answer than anyone was expecting, plus he’s just had the fight of a lifetime that’s probably earned him a title shot, so he’s done soon after that and gets to have his little in-cage celebration
he hugs his team and jack, who razzes him a little bit as per usual, and makes some dumb quip about going over tapes later like he’s a coach. and then comes race
he hugs him, all tender and cute and also very sweaty cause That’s How It Works, and the camera’s focused on him, so they can tell they’re whispering back and forth. but there’s no mics on them, so what’s said is missed entirely on the audience, but it’s their usual cheesy, in love mess
“congrats, baby. i’m proud of you.”
“oh please. it was 90% you anyway. i meant what i said, it wasn’t just for the cameras.”
“i know that. i’m gonna have to get you back somehow for telling everyone to go back and watch my awful anxious expression. i’ll think of something.”
“i’m sure you will, sweetheart.”
and then al does that awful, adorable lil nose bump thing, and then kisses race. and then jack covers his eyes and whines until they stop like the actual 12 year old boy he is inside
and then they leave the octagon, race and al holding hands, and al throws his arm over jack’s shoulder and shoves his head down and pushes him, cause even though he was just in a literal cage match he’s still a roughhousing teenager at heart
and he’s got interviews and press shit that separates him from his people, and he’s gotta slide that bulletproof mask back down over all the happy and in love shit he’s feeling so he can not smile like an idiot on camera constantly
but every once in awhile he’ll catch jack giving him the finger and laugh before returning it below view of the camera
or he’ll catch race’s eye from where he’s standing behind all the studio lights and do a little wave under the camera and return the wink from earlier, and the unbothered fighter facade will crack a little bit
but he’s not completely convinced that’s such a bad thing
GOD THIS POST IS SO MUCH LONGER THEN I MEANT IT TO BE IM SORRY
but Yeah. Them.
i love this au a helleva lot more than i should but that’s Fine cause i’ve got thoughts for days on it
#newsies#livesies#never not read the tags#albert dasilva#ufc fighter al#mma fighter al#racetrack higgins#jack kelly#ralbert#spam ralbert gang#ralbert ralbert ralbert#chandler screams about ralbert#chandler out of context#chandler’s ✨losing it✨#chandler.exe has stopped working#chandler’s an idiot sorry y’all#causing chaos with chandler#shut up chandler#nO#tw violence#tw fighting#tw blood#tw swearing
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the hell is mystreet season 6??
(warning, long post ahead)
ok so before i start this
1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end
2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember
3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares
4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics
5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.
haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass
ok here we go
one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.
anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.
one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.
like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see
and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused.
side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk.
the actual thingy:
ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:
-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck
-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline?
-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT
-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest.
-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me
-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters
-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes
-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming
-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee
-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’
-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever
-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I
-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity
-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)
-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn
-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad
-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point
-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane
-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all
-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol
-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:
a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.
b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.
c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.
d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained
now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)
but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.
and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more
anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk
#in conclusion i hate it here#lets go back to mystreet bein slice of life pls#anyways tune in next week for 'the hell is pdh??'#aphmau#mcd#mystreet#minecraft diaries#please ignore these next tags im just promoting relentlessly#garroth ro'meave#zane ro'meave#aaron lycan#kawaii chan#kim mystreet#laurance zvhal#pls i have no idea how to tag posts#rant
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ahh ty for ur answers to my questions (and also sorry(?) for making u aware of ms meyers lore). for most of those after i sent them i actually thought about it for more than a second n realized that they probably wouldnt apply lol (for example, vlad n brie have an amount of differently aged kids where it would be concerning if there was only 1 vampire nut, like the logistics of that are not nice), but hearing the actual why for why they aren't applicable was rad! also i read all ur lore and hell yeah i love how fleshed out it is and how much sense it makes!! again sorry this is rambly but i gotta show my jaiden appreciation (and also annoy you with angles of ur story u probably didn't want) somehow lol! ily <3 keep bein cool
im sorry but the idea that a vampire is granted one single vampire nut in his life is incredibly funny to me aherhtadsrhyphioyhjtrytr but thank u so much, im glad you enjoyed my silly vampire lore!! i really enjoy writing it, even if its just background info for a sims 4 story lol ;-; i have a lot of fun making it, so it makes me happy to see people who enjoy reading it!! its very appreciated anon, i promise you wont ever annoy me by talking to me about my story, if anything i dont think i could ever tire myself out talking about it lol. ilysm anon, i hope youre having a good day!! <3
#jade answers#anonymous#it embarrasses me how much i can ramble about my sims u know#u know that pic of the stick figures where one of them is like hey watch how hard i can talk about my interests#and then hes just like ajhteoigjreaspiowajmrtiogsnezryhpaertpawojytgpioernyhpazsrjtopdijsyrt for like a bajillion lines#and the other stick figure is looking at him like :| he doesnt even have a face but you can tell hes disappointed#that picture is me#do you even know what im talking about rn do i even know what im talking about rn idk im delirious i just woke up
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hi
ive been playing terraria in journey mode and bein a gay lil man, i made a lil crossover au for hlvrai/terraria.
here’s a mini faq. i’ll update it as time goes by.
1. is that benrey
yes but also no. im a benrey fictive so i made a way to self ship and characterize benrey differently. i made a long post with the details here. it gets updated when i have more ideas. consider it a masterpost.
2. will u post in the main tags?
no not really. just kinda wanna stick to myself. i’ll put this post in the tags then leave it at that. i will advertise it on my side blog @benreyplush tho.
3. is this an ask blog?
ig? it can be. u can send asks asking the characters things and i’ll draw em out if i have energy. this is a main hyperfixation rn so chances are i will definitely have the energy.
4. can i draw fan art?
fuckin yes. please. i will love u.
5. ok but i hate the guide. he’s so annoying and-
leave.
6. will the other hlvrai characters be included?
no. this is just for me. u can ask about them and they may be mentioned but they will never make an actual appearance. sorry.
7. who are the characters?
The list is long and I don’t like the block of text so here’s a better list:
mainly jack the guide and benny. but we also currently have:
shayna the mechanic
lion pines the golfer
timmy the angler
joseph the merchant
xylia the dyrad
lisa the nurse
ted the tavernkeep
james the clothier
lorenzo the painter
fahd the goblin tinkerer
isabella the steampunker
deshawn the arms dealer
mardy the zoologist
berwyn the wizard
pearl the stylist
tairona the witch doctor
phi the cyborg
tweed the tax collector
tordak the demolitonist
akbar the dye trader
captain bullywort the pirate
sparkle the party girl
harley the replacement guide.
the list will grow as i get more npcs in my game.
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For the ask game, how about Hiccup?
aaaaaa thank u for sending my boy!!!! (also sorry if u saw what i just posted ajdfklsjfk)
Fav thing about them: gonna stop bein h*rny for him for a sec and say that his sass is one of the funniest parts of the series. hiccup’s sarcastic lines were p much the only times i genuinely laughed during riders/defenders of berk. not tryin to shit on the writing here, cuz i get that it’s aimed at kids who probably found the series a lot more funny than i did. just personally not my type of humor. also httyd was my fav movie as a kid (and still is!!) so there’s a little bit of nostalgia mixed in there. he was one of the og faves.
Least fav thing: i mean. what’s not to like.
Fav Line: that one part in riders of berk (im p sure ep19) where he’s called into the great hall and is greeted by a bunch of angry lookin men with no idea as to why and the first thing out of his mouth is “i’d just like to say, in my own defense: i cannot control snotlout or the twins 24 hours a day”. and his “there were dragons when i was a boy” bit from the books, cuz like damn bro. go off.
brOTP: him/fishlegs!!! (them being nerds together is really cute! i wish we could see more of them), toofless, viggo, stoick (good father/son relationship!!! cute!!!!), dagur (their episodes are always really fun :3)
OTP: vigcup (this is basically just httyd version of rhack lol)
nOTP: astrid (god i could go on about how much the Heterosexuality in this series annoys me, but it basically sums up to: “i hate the trope where if the male protag earns enough good boy points, he gets the girl as a reward” + “male and female character: *look at each other* me: oh no” + “i hate being forced to see people kissing”), snotlout (apparently they’re cousins in the books and i like that idea too much to be comfy shipping them romantically), dagur (romantically; some art is still cute but i dont actively like the ship)
Random headcanon: oh! i can actually say this, since you know who im talking about: i feel like he and blake would get along!!! they’re both nerdy sweethearts and i think they would have a lot of fun sharing their ideas for inventions n stuff!! he wears goggles in one episode and literally all i could think was “blake”
Unpopular opinion: 1) his outfit in race to the edge was the nicest one out of any of them, and every time i see him in his httyd 2 or 3 outfit i get disappointed cuz it just looks so dull in comparison. he’s not goth enough to wear all that black and he looks much nicer in red. i just wish it coulda been in one of the movies or smth cuz i woulda loved to see it animated with that quality. 2) i don’t know if this is unpopular or not, but hiccup is a lot stronger than he looks!! that part in zippleback experience when he punched snotlout hard enough to knock several of his teeth out made me so proud :’3 he can sometimes hold his own in a fight, even without toothless. he’s strong enough to block viggo’s attacks during the sword fight in triple cross and when he can’t beat his enemies through pure physical strength (which is always), he finds ways to outsmart them or use his size to his advantage. he may not be as good a fighter as the other riders, but he’s not helpless. 3) beard!hiccup bad. the only character who is allowed to grow facial hair is blake porter.
Song I associate: ???
Fav Pic: besides the entirety of midnight scrum, cuz i mean come on... (this is cheating but i have too many pics to choose just one):
(forgot to put this under viggo’s one so im putting it here)
also sameppp (twitter)/re-dragonboysclub (tumblr) draws THE best hiccup, hands down (though it’s mostly n///s////f//w//)
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gruvia drabble
author’s note: imma keep it real w/ yall... im a lil drunk rn!!! hope this fic is still good tho lmao! this is pertaining to the plot of the anime rn like how gray and juvia reunited after six months... well we never did get to hear gray’s explanation or apology..... so here it is! enjoy! side note: after actually writing this 1. im not rly drunk anymore, a shame. and 2. all my fics as of recently literally have the same exact format lol!!! cool! great!! we love a boring queen! ok hopefully i can stray from this format in the future but for now! here is ~this~.<3
*
“Oi, Juvia,” Natsu turned and called out to Juvia. They were finally beginning their long awaited journey back to Magnolia, to reform their guild, after just defeating Avatar. “Did you and Gray wanna’ go back to your cabin and get some of your stuff before you go back?”
“G-g-go back?! Just the two of us?! After all this time?!” Juvia’s face turned a blistering red as she cupped her fiery cheeks in her hands. It had been so long since they were both alone in that house together. What would it be like? How would they act? Would things be different?
“Oh yeah.” Gray calmly chimed in. “There are some things I wanna’ get.” He then turned to Juvia. “We should probably go.”
“O-of course! If Gray-sama insists!” She perked up, suddenly eager to go.
They caught a train back to the village they stayed in and made it there in a fairly short amount of time. Gray looked around their old home with suspicion.There wasn’t a soul to be seen. The town was once so full of life, and bright with spirit. Now the grey clouds above seemed to reflect the dreary village.
“Did something happen?” Gray asked Juvia as they casually walked through the town. “There’s nobody here.” He continued looking, looking for any sign of life.
“Oh.” Juvia remembered, and slouched slightly, partially ashamed. “Everyone kind of, well, left.” She said simply.
“What?” Gray was surprised. “Why?”
“Well...” She paused and took a moment to breathe. “Juvia’s rain sort of... came back, and it was, well, constant.” Her voice was sheepish. “It sort of drove everyone out of the village Juvia supposes.” She forced a smile and a fake lighthearted laugh.
That got Gray’s attention. He stopped looking through the village and snapped his focus onto Juvia. “What do you mean it came back?” He seemed annoyed.
“After Gray-sama left, Juvia’s rain came back.” She shrugged. Once she saw Gray’s look of what seemed like agitation, she began to panic. “It’s not a big deal or anything! Juvia was just being over-dramatic!” She gave another plastic smile, attempting to ease Gray.
“Tch.” Gray looked away from Juvia and turned back to the path to the way to their house, dropping the conversation.
Eventually, they approached their cabin. The wood that the house was built out of was seemingly becoming moldy, or at least dingy. All of the drapes to the windows were now closed, although Gray remembered Juvia always insisted they leave them open. The plants that Juvia adored that were littered around the porch were dead from drowning in her storm.
“Juvia is sorry the house is so out of shape, Gray-sama!” Juvia was embarrassed. She only ever had Gray on her mind, so she never took the time to worry about the appearance of their home once he was gone. Even though that place meant everything to her, she seemed to completely disregard it.
“Stop it.” Gray said, harshly. He didn’t need Juvia to explain herself. It was ridiculous of her. “It doesn’t matter anyway. We’re just here to get our stuff.”
“Right.” Juvia nodded.
Inside, the rooms were dark, and dusty. It was hard for Gray to believe they even lived their at one point, that this was the same home they shared. He remembered Juvia always making a fuss about keeping the place clean, and decorative, and so full of life: some things that this foreign lot was lacking.
Gray was finished packing up first. He had all of his belongings in a duffel bag with a couple other things held in his hand. The door to Juvia’s room was open, so he walked in and leaned on the frame of the doorway.
“Yo.” Juvia flinched to Gray’s low voice, it had been so long since she heard it. She paused her packing and turned around. “I’m all packed up. If you need any help just let me-” Gray paused. As he looked around, Juvia’s room seemed to follow the same format as the rest of the rooms. Dull, gloomy, muted, but something caught his eye.
“What’s this?” He set his belongings down. He walked over to her bedside table towards a vile of red liquid, which was now almost empty.
“Oh, well, nothing really.” Juvia sporadically said with a forced chuckle and quickly was at Gray’s side, hoping to take the bottle before he could get a good look at it.
“Medicine?” He read the label of the bottle. “And it looks like Wendy’s handwriting.” He turned to Juvia.
“Y-yes.” Juvia took a step back and nervously held her hands together. “Wendy-san made that potion for Juvia.” She looked away.
“Why?”
“Juvia was, uh, well, sort of sick.” She remained avoiding eye contact.
“Sick?” Gray’s voice and tone raised. “You were sick? And Wendy couldn’t cure it with just her magic? She had to make a potion?” All of these little things were building up to one big slap in Gray’s face.
“Juvia had a very bad fever. I was sitting outside most of the time, so it was caused by my rain...” She said to the volume of that of a mouse, fidgeting her hands.
“Oh my god.” Gray sunk. He put the bottle back on the table and collapsed onto the bed, holding his head in his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. Just what had he done?
“B-but none of this is Gray-sama’s fault!” She was quick to perk up and defend Gray.
“All of this is my fucking fault!” Gray lifted his head and snapped his gaze to Juvia with sharp, blunt eyes, glistening with a sheen of tears. Juvia dropped her defense, and looked back beneath her.
“If it weren’t for me, this place wouldn’t look like shit, your rain wouldn’t have come back, and you wouldn’t have gotten sick!” He was angry. Juvia said nothing. “Am I wrong?!”
Juvia’s shoulders began to bog, jaggedly, up and down. She had finally broken. She was out of false excuses.
“Why did you leave me, Gray-sama?” She looked back up to him, tears overflowing in her piercing, yet helpless gaze.
Gray’s eyes widened, the sight before him caused his breath to catch itself in his throat.
“I-it was a secret mission.” He looked away, bringing the blank look back to his face. “It was to get more info on Zeref. I had to go, and Erza told me I couldn’t tell or bring anyone.”
Juvia’s tears fell onto her face, and then onto the floor.
“Juvia knows.” Her head was down, once again. She gathered her composure, slightly, for a mere moment. “Juvia understands. Putting and end to Zeref and E.N.D is very important to Gray-sama. This was all for the best.” She sniffled. “So, why..?” She brought her hands up to her eyes, and lost the weak grip she had on herself for that second, and began sobbing into her palms.
“So why is Juvia so hurt?”
Gray said nothing for a brief instant. He looked at her, although she did not return the contact, with shock and sorrow in his eyes. He didn’t know what to think, and he couldn’t place Juvia’s emotions, but he knew what he was feeling.
Remorse, guilt, responsibility, sadness, Gray’s heart was a melting pot of these horrible things. He couldn’t bare to see her in so much pain before, and all because of him. He would not be the reason she shed tears. He refused, especially after all she’d done for him. She was by his side, supporting him through everything. Even after he abandoned her for six months, she still did nothing but be there for him.
He quickly arose from the bed and wrapped his arms around her, with her hands still covering her eyes, causing her breath to stop in surprise for a second.
“It’s alright. I’m sorry.” His words were soft though his face was flinty. He stared at the wall as he brought his hand up to the back of Juvia’s head, firmly bringing her face to his chest, as he rested his chin atop her.
“G-Gray-sama should not have to apologize.” She shook her head as she sobbed into his chest, her voice muffled.
“Like hell I shouldn’t” His voice was even lower. “So cut the crap. You’re allowed to be sad. From some aspects, what I did,” He paused. “What I did to you was a shity thing. Really shitty.” Her cries were much softer as he spoke. He remembered all the scolding Natsu gave him, and manifested it into his words.“So let me say I’m sorry.” He grumbled through his pouted lips as his cheeks were colored pink.
Juvia finally removed her hands from her face and wrapped her arms around Gray, being encased by his warmth. The warmth that she had missed, so very much.
“It’s ok.” She hummed; her mood was already much better just by appreciating being in Gray’s hold. “Juvia is glad Gray-sama is ok.”
She held on even tighter, and in about a minute, her instincts kicked in. Her mind began to soar with thoughts of Gray, and his big, toned arms that were engulfing her. She subconsciously began to sniff him, and exhale with delight.
“Ahh.” She swooned. “Gray-sama still smells just as delicious as he always has.” She snuggled up against him.
“O-kay” Gray announced. “That’s enough of that.” He said, avoiding Juvia’s odd comment. He pulled her away from him and turned back to his things. “We should probably head out. The guild isn’t gonna’ rebuild itself.”
“Aw!” Juvia said, defeated, and dramatically slouched over.
“Don’t sound so disappointed cause’ I stopped you from smelling me! Don’t you realize that ain’t normal!?” He exclaimed.
“Juvia doesn’t care about what’s normal! Juvia hasn’t smelled your sweet scent in six whole months! You can’t blame me!” She defended, reaching her arms out for Gray.
“Quit bein’ creepy and meet me in the living room when you’re done packing.” Gray asserted with an annoyed, but familiar look on his face as he quickly made his way out of her room and shut the door, as Juvia sulked on her bed.
They soon packed all of their belongings and walked through their front door, back into the village where a ray of sun peaked through the dispersing clouds.
“Juvia is so sad to say goodbye to she and Gray-sama’s home.” She frowned with exaggerated sniffles.
“I wouldn’t call this a goodbye.” He said frankly. “It’s more like a ‘see-ya-later.’“ He turned to Juvia with a smirk on his face. Her eyes began to glow, and she settled onto a content smile.
“Yes, Gray-sama.” She looked to the ground with her fulfilled smile.
On their walk to the train, Gray grabbed his arms and gave a small shiver.
“It’s gettin’ kinda’ cold out.” He simply said.
Juvia pondered and looked around a little to see any signs of anyone or anything being cold, which she did not, and felt her own body temperature at a fairly normal level, and for Gray especially, this weather was hardly anything.
“Really? Juvia doesn’t think it’s too co-” She turned back to Gray with confusion and quietly gasped as she saw him wrapping himself with a grey, poorly knitted, homey/cozy looking, seemingly worn in scarf. He did not make eye contact with her, and kept his sharp expression on the road ahead.
She knew that scarf all too well.
“Actually, Juvia is a little chilly.” Attempting to keep her overjoyed reaction in line, she simply wrapped her one arm around Gray’s and with the other she reached out and held his hand, causing him to initially flinch, but he kept his hand intertwined with hers.
They made their way to their true home, Fairy Tail, walking in bliss, putting the bad parts of the past behind them and looking to a hopeful future.
One where Juvia’s rain would never return.
#gruvia#Gray X Juvia#Juvia x Gray#gruvia fanfic#gruvia fanfcition#gruvia drabble#doyouevenshipbr0#juvia lockser#juvia#fairy tail fanfiction#fairy tail fanfic#fairy tail#ft
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Im planning to travel to belgium however I need to buy a Schengen Travel Insurance, any suggestions ?
Im planning to travel to belgium however I need to buy a Schengen Travel Insurance, any suggestions ?
Im planning to travel to Belgium however I need to buy a Schengen Travel Insurance, any suggestions as to which I should Buy?
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Phantom Thieves playing an MMORPG (Pt. 1?)
@petattack and I were playing a game late at night (like friends do) and started talking P5 headcanons. So here are some headconons for if the original 5 (Akira, Morgana, Ryuji, Ann and Yusuke) were to play an MMORPG together.
They play on Saturdays so they can actually sleep afterwards cuz they're not gonna stop until 3 am, let's be real.
Yes, even with Morgana's instant whining towards Akira to go to sleep.
Akira is the assassin/rouge/theif class (obviously), Ryuji is warrior/tank, Ann is healer/mage and Yusuke is archer.
Morgana just has one of Akira's headphones to listen in on the others.
Ryuji runs head first into enemies, probably yelling "LEEROY JENKINS!"
He immediately regrets it as he's outnumbered and starts yelling for help.
Akira laughs his ass of most of the time and then goes to help.
Ann, Yusuke and Akira have to constantly keep an eye on Ryuji so he doesn’t end up backing into a hoard of enemies and dying.
They've saved his ass way too many times to count.
Ryuji: "...I totally had that y'know." Ann/Yusuke/Akira/Morgana: "No you didn't."
Ann screams into her mic almost every two minutes.
"OHMYGOD GUYS HELP IM DYING" Ryuji: "You're the effin' healer, Ann. Heal yourself!"
"AKIRA HELP!" "Where are you?" "I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M DYING" "THIS is why we stick close by eachother!"
(When fighting a mini-boss) "I KILLED IT!" Ryuji: "We dealt most of the damage tho...."
The boys try and take their headphones off every time she talks so their eardrums don't burst.
Almost every time Ryuji mumbles "and you call me loud..."
Yusuke is just chilling in a tree or some other high perch to snipe enemies.
Ryuji: "Effin' coward." Yusuke: "It isn't cowardice, it's strategy." Ryuji: "Nah, it's totally bein' a coward." Akira: "Guys, stop."
Yusuke kill-steals like a boss.
Mostly from Ryuji.
“Stop stealin' my effin' kills!" "Stop being slow to kill then."
Ann and Ryuji start yelling at eachother through their mics halfway through their adventures.
Yusuke just mutes them after a few minutes of fighting.
Akira and Morgana try to calm them both down.
Ryuji’s mom walks in on him to tell him goodnight and to keep it down and he just whispers a "sorry" and a "goodnight" before going back to playing, actually being quiet and silently hoping the others didn't hear her walk in.
(they all totally did btw)
Akira: "...Was that your mom?" Ryuji: "S-shuddup, man."
Akira tries desperately to keep them all on track when they do quests.
"Ryuji, stop challenging Ann to a duel every five seconds."
"Ann, stop challenging Ryuji every two minutes!"
"Yusuke, please get off of your perch and help us."
"I know the game's aesthetics are amazing, but we got shit to do!"
Akira: "Guys, we have a quest. Come back to the town." Ryuji: "Yeah, Ann. Get your ass over to the town" Ann: "Ryuji, I swear to god!!" Akira: "Both of you get your asses back to town."
Morgana keeps whining to Akira and the others about going to sleep.
"It's only 2:00 a.m." "Akira, it's late. We need sleep." "But Mona-" "SLEEP!"
They all call it a night and go to sleep after that.
The next morning, all of them are tired as hell.
"This is why you go to sleep on time." "No regrets." "Akira-" "No. Regrets."
They all talk about how much fun it was the next time they all meet up, even tho they did get a bit annoyed at eachother.
#persona 5#p5#p5 headcanons#phantom thief headcanons#akira kusuru#ryuji sakamoto#ann takamaki#yusuke kitagawa#morgana#phantom thieves#this was honestly fun#might do more with the other phantom theives#if pet actually continues with p5#don't wanna spoil shit for her#(I call the protagonist Akira out of habit Ik his canon name is Ren ok? shush)#(I think Akira fits him better tbh)
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my sort of thing
Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: turn down gasolina
Sirius Black: ur literally miles away
Remus Lupin: are you playing it
Sirius Black: well yeah
Remus Lupin: turn it down
Lily Evans to Sirius Black: tell potter to stop trying to engage me with fruit based wordplay
Sirius Black: he’ll be gutted
Sirius Black: also how did u get this number
Lily Evans: its written in the girls bathroom with TWAT over it
Sirius Black: and u assumed it was me
Lily Evans: well potter doesnt have an 021 number
Peter Pettigrew to gross gang: DISASTER ALERT
Peter Pettigrew: the vending machine ate my dollar and didnt give me my crisps
Peter Pettigrew to gross gang: stop seening me
James Potter to crew (cuts should b our new Look™): U LOT ARE NEVER GOING TO FUCKING BELIEVE THIS
James Potter to Lily Evans: i cant believe u rear ended me
Lily Evans: i said id cover the damage
James Potter: will u get my personalized plate fixed
Lily Evans: i’ll do u one better and buy u a new one
James Potter to Lily Evans: so my ‘’’’personalized plate’’’’’ just arrived
James Potter: it’s a bit of paper with ‘shitbitch’ on it
Lily Evans: i also drew a border
Sirius Black: to if we renacted Lizzie McGuire (2001-2004) who would be lizzie: if there was a nuclear apocalypse i would save any dog over all of u
Remus Lupin: what brought this on
Sirius Black: just saw a dog and wanted 2 be clear
Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: why is there a piece of paper with ‘shitbitch’ on it on ur car
Sirius Black to James Potter: im in the assembly hall replacing all the trophies with vodka bottles
James Potter: no ur not
James Potter: cause im in the assembly hall replacing the curtains with glad wrap
Sirius Black: nah im in dumstrams assembly hall
James Potter: we dont go to dumstram
Sirius Black: whats ur point
James Potter to Lily Evans: remember last night when u asked me what my favourite kitchen utensil was
Lily Evans: no
James Potter: it was after beer pong but before you dumped a bag of flour on my head and called me a snowman
Lily Evans: still no
James Potter: well anyway ive had a thought and decided its the can opener
Peter Pettigrew to sirius you are neither cool nor a drug dealer: the assemblies projector is impossible to hack
Remus Lupin: don’t say hack when ur just swapping the DVDs
Peter Pettigrew: u never let me b cool
James Potter to Lily Evans: can i borrow ur chem hmw
James Potter: by borrow i mean copy
Lily Evans: i didnt do it i was gunna ask u
Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: hey remus
Remus Lupin: i didnt do the chem homework either
Lily Evans: bye remus
James Potter to can giraffes get ripped: if evans asks I dont know who coldplay is
Sirius Black to Lily Evans: potter loves coldplay and went to their concert in 2011
Peter Pettigrew to Lily Evans: james’ favourite coldplay song is charlie brown
Remus Lupin to Lily Evans: if u play ‘fix you’ once james has had one (1) beer he will tear up and pretend its hay fever
James Potter to can giraffes get ripped: no one here has any fucking loyalty
Peter Pettigrew to it should be pengu not pingu: sirius u ate all the humus and now mums pissed
Sirius Black: did u tell liz it was me
Sirius Black: say it was lupin
Remus Lupin: do not
Sirius Black changed the group name to (do it pete) get fucked remus
Unknown to James Potter: i think we need to get our stories straight
James Potter: who is this ??
Unknown: lily obvsly
Unknown: im using a burner in case the police hack my phone
James Potter: christ
James Potter: we spilt water on one library book
Unknown: so long dickweed im going underground
James Potter: does this mean ur missing bake off
Unknown: no obvsly ill go after bake off im not an animal
James Potter to Sirius Black: would u marry me to stop me from getting deported
Sirius Black: obviously
Sirius Black: why
James Potter: just checking
Sirius Black to Lily Evans: u want me and james 2 punch avery 4 the calling u poor thing
Lily Evans: no
Lily Evans: do not do that
Sirius Black: wish youd sent this earlier
Lily Evans: i replied literally a minute after u sent this
Lily Evans: sirius what have u done
Lily Evans to James Potter: i dont need you lot punching people for me its really not on
James Potter: technically i was keying avery’s car so didn’t punch anyone
James Potter: however sirius did
James Potter: also remus
James Potter: peter was in the bathroom
James Potter: also u coating mulciber’s locker with rotten banana after he ripped remus’ bag last week was ‘really not on’ either but you still did it
Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: u look awful did u sleep last night
Sirius Black: go home
Remus Lupin: i cant miss bio
Sirius Black: ill go for u
Remus Lupin: u dont take bio
Sirius Black: irrelevant
James Potter to Lily Evans: if i didn’t know better id say u were getting detentions just to see me
Lily Evans: good thing u know better then
Lily Evans to Sirius Black: am currently covered in greek yoghurt & hiding in slughorns toilet
Sirius Black: hot
Lily Evans: that was meant for james
Lily Evans: also whats wrong with you
Lily Evans to James Potter: U DRAGGED ME TO THIS FUCKING MOVIE AND UR FUCKING LATE
Lily Evans: UNBELIEVABLE
Lily Evans: IM SITTING IN THE CINEMA ALONE
Lily Evans: oh
Lily Evans: ok Slight Problem i am in the Wrong Cinema
Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: tell sirius his bag is open
Peter Pettigrew: why don’t u tell him
Remus Lupin: im not speaking to him bc he said james glasses’ made me look like a wombat
Peter Pettigrew to peter doesnt eat the carrot skin and Its Weak: just saw evans eating a lemonade ice block
Sirius Black: theyre famously bland u have to drop her james
James Potter: fat chance
Lily Evans to James Potter: if/when we’re on a panel show our team name will be pottered plants
Lily Evans: dont u dare seen this ive never been funnier
Sirius Black to loser lane: good morning friends
Sirius Black: get fucked peter
Peter Pettigrew: i SAID SORRY i didn’t know it was ur bagel
Sirius Black: lupin tell peter that i am not speaking to him
Remus Lupin: peter, sirius says he wants to blow you
Peter Pettigrew: i decline
Sirius Black: u fucking what
Sirius Black: it would be THE HONOUR OF YOUR LIFE to get blown by me u fucking heathen
Lily Evans to James Potter: sirius just said i look pretty and didnt ask to borrow gas money after
James Potter: unheard of
James Potter: you do look pretty tonight
Lily Evans: cheers
Lily Evans: youve never said that to me before are you sneaking wine behind slughorns back
James Potter: no
James Potter (yes)
James Potter: if i said u looked pretty every time you did id never say anything else
Sirius Black: to hmu bitch: who took my FUCKING LAVA LAMP
James Potter: u don’t even use it
Sirius Black: give it back judas
James Potter to Lily Evans: i hate everyone here
Lily Evans: dont let sirius hear u say that
James Potter: hes making out with mcdonald he cant hear anything
James Potter: if you were here this would be bearable
Lily Evans: nah id just drink ur beer and be annoying
James Potter: true
James Potter: still want you here like mad
Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: can u die from eating to much pasta
Remus Lupin: why would i know this
Sirius Black to Lily Evans: heard ur dying
Sirius Black: can i have ur nice waterbottle
Lily Evans to James Potter: come over please
James Potter: you alright?
James Potter: you never say please when you ask me round
Lily Evans: everything has gone a little bit horrible and petunia has left and i have broken a plate
Lily Evans: please come and do that thing you do where everything isnt as bad when youre here
James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: when im in india can u feed the fish
Peter Pettigrew: ?? u don’t have fish
James Potter: yes we do theyre in the pond
Peter Pettigrew: sirius has pushed me into that pond 17 times ive never seen any fish
James Potter: hold on
James Potter: ur never going to believe this my mum has been playing this fish joke on me for seven fucking years im
James Potter: WHY WOULD ANYONE JOKE ABT SOMETHING LIKE THIS
Lily Evans to James Potter: christ i miss u
Lily Evans: didnt realise how serious that would sound over text
Lily Evans: its just its only been four days since u left but i have 983293 things to tell u and ur not here
Lily Evans: anyway
Lily Evans: i feel like an idiot goodnight
James Potter to Lupin more like LupLAME: I HAVE RETURNED
Sirius Black: did u bring gifts
James Potter: no
Sirius Black: go back
Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: not 2 b dramatic but anything james can do i can do better
Lily Evans: including eating the most grapes in 2 minutes which i have just proven
Remus Lupin: are you two ever just normal
Remus Lupin changed the group name to uncultured shits
James Potter: we’re not uncultured just cause we dont like crackers
Sirius Black: i love crackers but only with caviar
Remus Lupin: dont align yourself with me
James Potter to Lily Evans: thanks for the oranges
James Potter: also why the oranges
Lily Evans: because you like them and our neighbors tree is low hanging
James Potter: oh
James Potter: shit im glad i know you
Lily Evans to Sirius Black: james just fell in the parking lot and set off a car alarm
Sirius Black: typical
Sirius Black: i cant believe you want to fuck this guy
Lily Evans: yeah
Lily Evans: WAIT
Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: so u know today when james nearly died trying to jump off the assembly balcony to win a fiver
Sirius Black: i think i do recall
Remus Lupin: remember when he was on the ground and everyone was yelling and you asked me what the number for 000 was
Sirius Black: i was STRESSED
Remus Lupin: this isnt about you do you know what lily said to peter abt james
Remus Lupin: peter was bein all dramatic and said ‘hes dying’
Remus Lupin: and lily said ‘dont be ridiculous he would never do that to me’
Sirius Black: when are they going to fuck
Remus Lupin: yeah i thought it was rather romantic myself
Lily Evans to James Potter: at the risk of sounding like a tit im rlly tired of not kissing you
Lily Evans: as in i would really very much like to kiss you now and often
Lily Evans: its so late and i like you so much
Lily Evans: you always know how to make me laugh
James Potter: open your window
Lily Evans: its three in the morning
James Potter: if i keep running these red lights like i am i should be outside urs in 3 minutes
Lily Evans: oh thank god
Sirius Black to if birds get the flu can they still call it bird flu??: james has changed his profile pic from The Boys™ to one of him and lil
James Potter: why are you talking abt me like im not in this chat
Sirius Black: lupin, tell potter im not speaking to him
Remus Lupin: james, sirius says he wants to blow you
James Potter: id rather he didnt
Sirius Black: WHY DOES NO ONE WANT ME TO BLOW THEM WHEN WILL I FIND REAL MATES
#its (basically) october and this is making a shitty comeback bc yall seemed 2 want it back for some reason#jily#james potter#lily evans#sirius black#remus lupin#peter pettigrew#brotp: the lot#carolineswritingtag#caroline does social media#IM TIRED I SPENT 2 LONG ON THIS I HOPE U ALL LIKE IT#title inspo kind of to ernest hemmingway but .i dont want him 2 have credit so im not giving it 2 him#ive worked on this on and off (very off) for months im weirdly nervous for it to be in the world but that is how writing works i guess
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1. Are you self taught or do you take classes?Answer: I am self taught, I had learned different styles through Art Classes but as I said, I am self taught. 2. How long have you bein drawing?Answer: Ever since I was 2 years old. My first "art" was when I was walking around and found a small bucket of paint. I poked it, and figured out it was a liquid. After a bit, I took a stick and dipped the tip in paint. Than I scurried over to our water tank and painted a stick figured girl with ping tails. Papa wasn't.... Happy, but wasn't angry either. Sorry for the brief back than story ^^"3. Do you consider yourself as a good artest?Answer: Well... I see myself as neutral. Im a good artist, but im also a bad artist at parts4. what annoys you the most about being a artest?Answer: nothing much, other than the times when I get an artist's block, or when I can't draw. 5. What do you draw the most?Answer: Fan art. Bendy x I, Cuphead, quest for the ink machine[Skip 6]7. Has someone said you were bad?Answer: no one really said such things, but I could tell by their looks. 8. Who inspired you?Answer: 9. What do you think of @random-cat ’s @jazzym768 @the-masked-illustratorAnswer: Random Cat: I find your drawings very colorful and intriguingly with all the symbols!!Jazzy: I find your drawings cute and adorableSis: I find her art amazing! Im envious at her ability to draw hands! Her art is also a wide variety10. How do you come up with such a pen name like yours?Answer: my... Username? Well... I was named after a flower my mother loved dearly. At first, my username was: Little-Drawer-IrisEventually I changed it to: Your-Blooming-Artist-Iris because I felt true happiness one day, I saw myself as a flower trying to bloomBut I need support and care from my friends
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hello my angels ! i’m sorry this is so late but i’m sarah & i’m 18 yrs old & live in the hellhole that is ohio so the est timezone ! i’m ur token harry potter nerd & lover of all things musical... anyways u can hear more about 5/10 of my problematic children under the cut ! i’m gonna try to keep it short but i lov to talk so we’ll see ! if you’re willing to plot give this post a big mf like & i’ll come crawlin’ to ur ims !
— ✯ | barbara delaney savenkov ! + pinterest board !
tw: death, murder
laura harrier, cisfemale, she/her — have you met barbara delaney savenkov yet ? the twenty-three year old is known for being both poised and enticing, but also very skeptical and deceiving. born in san francisco, barbie now lives in soho, waiting tables at the fork and assassinating people on the side for some extra cash. + wanted connections !
so barbara was born n raised in san francisco, california to a solidly middle class family. her parents were divorced growing up, although they were friendly & got along well enough to be friends & co-parent barbie. she’d always been quite an idealist like Yes The World Is Good but when she was twenty, her dad had died due to a rogue heart attack that seemingly happened for no reason & it completely shattered barbara.
that’s when a local gang found her, at her ultimate low, & roped her into their business. she stayed w them for two years or so & at some point or another barbara started to realize that she didn’t think this business & way to make money was a good one. eventually, they starting cutting pay & barbara started to feel like she was bein manipulated. working w the gang kind of made her give up her optimism & is what truly formed her into the stone cold but somehow still elegant & captivating barbie she is today ! her idealistic attitude & never-ending optimism died with all of the shady shit that gang made her do.
then barbara was offered a job as an assassin for a powerful man doin some shady shit & she was unable to refuse even tho her first instinct was to turn it down – it offered great money & stability, & with the impression that she’d only be hurting people who deserved it, barbara shakily accepted the deal & left the gang !
she’s not pleased w the fact that she’s murdering ppl for a living, obviously, but she tries to make do with what she has & tells herself that the ppl she’s killing deserve it but !! messy !
personality-wise, barbara comes off as super intimidating at first n like she just doesn’t have feelings… super proper n always sitting upright n stiff as fuck… scares ppl away bc she seems like a robot at first
she's that kid who studies for the test like 3 weeks before it actually happens and has color coordinated highlighting and bullet journals.. she wants to be on top of everything, constantly – she doesn’t like feeling unorganized or like she’s falling apart ? i think it’s partially bc she tends to over perfect areas of her life like that, and like color coordinating her closet and making sure everything is tidy to make up for the Mess that is her secret career ??
one of the most annoying things ever is how perfect she seems on the surface ?? like, she likes everybody n is probably the type of person who rescues stray kittens from trees n sings as little birdies fly down & comb her hair or some shit but anyone close to barbie in real life knows she is a hardcore mess
that friend who’s like “oh my god i look so fat in this picture” n literally everybody groans bc shut the fuck up karen ur perfect
could literally say “fuck off” to somebody n the tone of voice she uses would make them think she was complimenting them
— ✯ | cordelia esther king ! + pinterest board !
alycia debnam-carey, cisfemale, she/her — have you met cordelia esther king yet ? the twenty-two year old is known for being both affable and buoyant, but also very whimsical and corybantic. born in salem, delia now lives in lambeth, working as a wedding planner and forming unrealistic expectations of true love.
so ngl cordelia is very inspired by jane from 27 dresses but w/ some twists so i’m not completely unoriginal
she was born to a pastor for a father in salem aka witch town ! cordelia was raised as kind of a perfect goody goody two shoes u know.. classic girl next door who sleeps w a teddy bear even at twenty-two & her entire room is covered in pink, she spends her spare time baking n blushing over boys smiling at her wtvr... she was always strong-willed & opinionated but shut up out of fear of being made fun of u know, kids these days r mean
so then when cordelia is old enough to leave her parents house ( let’s say like a year ago ) she decides that she’s tired of being the nice girl in the shadows & that she wants to live life more on the edge so she vows to start living life dangerously & being badass... whatever that means
it’s actually kind of funny, because she’ll stroll into a bar & bat her eyelashes at the bartender & single ppl in the room to try & get them to order a drink for her solely bc she doesn’t know the names of any drinks... has no common sense & is too naive for her own good ( what is a handjob... what does “on the rocks” mean ) but the girl’s trying to [ troy bolton vc ] break free so who am i to judge ?
she’s a wedding planner who’s actually in love with the idea of love & has watched the notebook 1 too many times... despite her being wildt nowadays she’s still into the whole “when i meet the one for me my foot will pop when we kiss & i’ll feel fireworks” thing.. it’s cute but also sad but ! cute !
personality-wise... she’s outspoken & friendly & incredibly flirty, but at the same time she probably either assumes you’re flirting w her when you’re really not or has no clue that you’re hitting on her when ur literally kissing her
is totally sandy at the end of grease when she’s like “tell me about it, stud” acting all badass but then doesn’t know what to do w her cigarette butt & looks nervously at her friends like WTF DO I DO
please come corrupt her or fuck her up... or be nice 2 her & teach her how to be a human being
— ✯ | dexter leroy bates ! + pinterest board !
torrance coombs, cismale, he/him — have you met dexter leroy bates yet ? the thirty-one year old is known for being both inventive and idealistic, but also very farouche and indecisive. born in hackney, dex now lives in croydon, editing badly filmed videos and gluing himself to a camera 24/7.
basically a nerdy starving artist based on mark from rent with a lil bit of peter parker in him
a broke ass bitch living in croydon trying his best to make it as a photographer / film maker
he has huge dreams of hollywood but his films r probably kinda bad... but he tries his best n i love him for it
kinda nerdy & word vomit-y... super cute... would die for his friends but also would kill u for insulting one of them
is that nerd that is actually hot n buff n shit but u never notice bc he wears hoodies n hides behind a camera bc i lov stereotyping apparently
i don’t really have his backstory worked out yet tbfh so really ? go wild w connections for my son
— ✯ | davina leigh cordero ! + pinterest board !
lauren jauregui, cisfemale, she/her — have you met davina leigh cordero yet ? the twenty-one year old is known for being both intuitive and diligent, but also very seclusive and obstinate. born in whitby, davina now lives in soho, studying journalism and avoiding as much human interaction as possible.
100% based on rory gilmore bc apparently even tho i’m on season 2 i luv the characters Too Much
basically everything i aspire 2 be in a person... hardworking as fuck, loves school so fricking much, antisocial as hell !
davina is deadass brilliant & her idea of wild is staying up past 11 on a school night or waiting to do her homework on saturday instead of friday
sweet, a lil bit awkward, but the cutest ever n i would die for her
would much rather be chillin w her books than anything else tbh & doesn’t know how to hold proper interactions but it’s more charming than anything else
grew up with only her dad mostly, since her mom worked full time & lived out of town for reasons but they both love her a ton. her dad would give her the whole world if he could, & owns a quaint little coffee shop in whitby & is constantly calling davina to check up on her... when she got older her mom moved back in w her dad so since then she’s gotten a lot closer to her but there’s still just such a bond between her dad & her u know
what is romance ? davina doesn’t know
come fuck her up
— ✯ | sawyer maisie pitman ! + pinterest board !
josefine frida pettersen, cisfemale, she/her — have you met sawyer maisie pitman yet ? the twenty year old is known for being both undaunted and driven, but also very apathetic and blunt. born in bristol, sawyer now lives in wandsworth, being a tragically pathetic starving artist & student.
so sawyer was adopted as a baby, unnamed, to two moms who love her more than anything in the world. one’s a publisher & one’s an english professor, & they’re both huge fricking nerds, so she was named after tom sawyer !
as soon as she could walk she was talented with art & everything that had to do with it & not long after entering high school she decided that that’s what she wanted to do & nothing was going to get in the way of it
now, as a student & hopeful artist, sawyer is dead set on getting where she wants to be & has no tolerance for bullshit... like if u ain’t helping her further her career, ur unimportant to her
relationships ? cancelled. romance is a DISTRACTION from her work & only complicates her life !
blunt as fuck & doesn’t sugar coat things. she says things like they are & expects others to do the same bc she has no time for drama or whatnot
stubborn as fuck & nearly impossible to talk to sometimes bc she’s so set in her ways but hey love me a strong woman amirite
sharp-tongued & sarcastic as fuck but can be incredibly kind when the time is right !
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(one): i really like how you set up the blog its all nice and fancy :o,,, (two): could i get a uhhhhhhhhhhhhh,, bisexual shawn icon,, if not, a trans noah icon, you choose, have a great day xxx sorry if im bein annoying oof
1) tyvm!!
2) posted !! (ur not being annoying
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