#its (basically) october and this is making a shitty comeback bc yall seemed 2 want it back for some reason | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jiilys · 7 years

Text

my sort of thing

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: turn down gasolina

Sirius Black: ur literally miles away

Remus Lupin: are you playing it

Sirius Black: well yeah

Remus Lupin: turn it down

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: tell potter to stop trying to engage me with fruit based wordplay

Sirius Black: he’ll be gutted

Sirius Black: also how did u get this number

Lily Evans: its written in the girls bathroom with TWAT over it

Sirius Black: and u assumed it was me

Lily Evans: well potter doesnt have an 021 number

Peter Pettigrew to gross gang: DISASTER ALERT

Peter Pettigrew: the vending machine ate my dollar and didnt give me my crisps

Peter Pettigrew to gross gang: stop seening me

James Potter to crew (cuts should b our new Look™): U LOT ARE NEVER GOING TO FUCKING BELIEVE THIS

James Potter to Lily Evans: i cant believe u rear ended me

Lily Evans: i said id cover the damage

James Potter: will u get my personalized plate fixed

Lily Evans: i’ll do u one better and buy u a new one

James Potter to Lily Evans: so my ‘’’’personalized plate’’’’’ just arrived

James Potter: it’s a bit of paper with ‘shitbitch’ on it

Lily Evans: i also drew a border

Sirius Black: to if we renacted Lizzie McGuire (2001-2004) who would be lizzie: if there was a nuclear apocalypse i would save any dog over all of u

Remus Lupin: what brought this on

Sirius Black: just saw a dog and wanted 2 be clear

Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: why is there a piece of paper with ‘shitbitch’ on it on ur car

Sirius Black to James Potter: im in the assembly hall replacing all the trophies with vodka bottles

James Potter: no ur not

James Potter: cause im in the assembly hall replacing the curtains with glad wrap

Sirius Black: nah im in dumstrams assembly hall

James Potter: we dont go to dumstram

Sirius Black: whats ur point

James Potter to Lily Evans: remember last night when u asked me what my favourite kitchen utensil was

Lily Evans: no

James Potter: it was after beer pong but before you dumped a bag of flour on my head and called me a snowman

Lily Evans: still no

James Potter: well anyway ive had a thought and decided its the can opener

Peter Pettigrew to sirius you are neither cool nor a drug dealer: the assemblies projector is impossible to hack

Remus Lupin: don’t say hack when ur just swapping the DVDs

Peter Pettigrew: u never let me b cool

James Potter to Lily Evans: can i borrow ur chem hmw

James Potter: by borrow i mean copy

Lily Evans: i didnt do it i was gunna ask u

Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: hey remus

Remus Lupin: i didnt do the chem homework either

Lily Evans: bye remus

James Potter to can giraffes get ripped: if evans asks I dont know who coldplay is

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: potter loves coldplay and went to their concert in 2011

Peter Pettigrew to Lily Evans: james’ favourite coldplay song is charlie brown

Remus Lupin to Lily Evans: if u play ‘fix you’ once james has had one (1) beer he will tear up and pretend its hay fever

James Potter to can giraffes get ripped: no one here has any fucking loyalty

Peter Pettigrew to it should be pengu not pingu: sirius u ate all the humus and now mums pissed

Sirius Black: did u tell liz it was me

Sirius Black: say it was lupin

Remus Lupin: do not

Sirius Black changed the group name to (do it pete) get fucked remus

Unknown to James Potter: i think we need to get our stories straight

James Potter: who is this ??

Unknown: lily obvsly

Unknown: im using a burner in case the police hack my phone

James Potter: christ

James Potter: we spilt water on one library book

Unknown: so long dickweed im going underground

James Potter: does this mean ur missing bake off

Unknown: no obvsly ill go after bake off im not an animal

James Potter to Sirius Black: would u marry me to stop me from getting deported

Sirius Black: obviously

Sirius Black: why

James Potter: just checking

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: u want me and james 2 punch avery 4 the calling u poor thing

Lily Evans: no

Lily Evans: do not do that

Sirius Black: wish youd sent this earlier

Lily Evans: i replied literally a minute after u sent this

Lily Evans: sirius what have u done

Lily Evans to James Potter: i dont need you lot punching people for me its really not on

James Potter: technically i was keying avery’s car so didn’t punch anyone

James Potter: however sirius did

James Potter: also remus

James Potter: peter was in the bathroom

James Potter: also u coating mulciber’s locker with rotten banana after he ripped remus’ bag last week was ‘really not on’ either but you still did it

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: u look awful did u sleep last night

Sirius Black: go home

Remus Lupin: i cant miss bio

Sirius Black: ill go for u

Remus Lupin: u dont take bio

Sirius Black: irrelevant

James Potter to Lily Evans: if i didn’t know better id say u were getting detentions just to see me

Lily Evans: good thing u know better then

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: am currently covered in greek yoghurt & hiding in slughorns toilet

Sirius Black: hot

Lily Evans: that was meant for james

Lily Evans: also whats wrong with you

Lily Evans to James Potter: U DRAGGED ME TO THIS FUCKING MOVIE AND UR FUCKING LATE

Lily Evans: UNBELIEVABLE

Lily Evans: IM SITTING IN THE CINEMA ALONE

Lily Evans: oh

Lily Evans: ok Slight Problem i am in the Wrong Cinema

Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: tell sirius his bag is open

Peter Pettigrew: why don’t u tell him

Remus Lupin: im not speaking to him bc he said james glasses’ made me look like a wombat

Peter Pettigrew to peter doesnt eat the carrot skin and Its Weak: just saw evans eating a lemonade ice block

Sirius Black: theyre famously bland u have to drop her james

James Potter: fat chance

Lily Evans to James Potter: if/when we’re on a panel show our team name will be pottered plants

Lily Evans: dont u dare seen this ive never been funnier

Sirius Black to loser lane: good morning friends

Sirius Black: get fucked peter

Peter Pettigrew: i SAID SORRY i didn’t know it was ur bagel

Sirius Black: lupin tell peter that i am not speaking to him

Remus Lupin: peter, sirius says he wants to blow you

Peter Pettigrew: i decline

Sirius Black: u fucking what

Sirius Black: it would be THE HONOUR OF YOUR LIFE to get blown by me u fucking heathen

Lily Evans to James Potter: sirius just said i look pretty and didnt ask to borrow gas money after

James Potter: unheard of

James Potter: you do look pretty tonight

Lily Evans: cheers

Lily Evans: youve never said that to me before are you sneaking wine behind slughorns back

James Potter: no

James Potter (yes)

James Potter: if i said u looked pretty every time you did id never say anything else

Sirius Black: to hmu bitch: who took my FUCKING LAVA LAMP

James Potter: u don’t even use it

Sirius Black: give it back judas

James Potter to Lily Evans: i hate everyone here

Lily Evans: dont let sirius hear u say that

James Potter: hes making out with mcdonald he cant hear anything

James Potter: if you were here this would be bearable

Lily Evans: nah id just drink ur beer and be annoying

James Potter: true

James Potter: still want you here like mad

Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: can u die from eating to much pasta

Remus Lupin: why would i know this

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: heard ur dying

Sirius Black: can i have ur nice waterbottle

Lily Evans to James Potter: come over please

James Potter: you alright?

James Potter: you never say please when you ask me round

Lily Evans: everything has gone a little bit horrible and petunia has left and i have broken a plate

Lily Evans: please come and do that thing you do where everything isnt as bad when youre here

James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: when im in india can u feed the fish

Peter Pettigrew: ?? u don’t have fish

James Potter: yes we do theyre in the pond

Peter Pettigrew: sirius has pushed me into that pond 17 times ive never seen any fish

James Potter: hold on

James Potter: ur never going to believe this my mum has been playing this fish joke on me for seven fucking years im

James Potter: WHY WOULD ANYONE JOKE ABT SOMETHING LIKE THIS

Lily Evans to James Potter: christ i miss u

Lily Evans: didnt realise how serious that would sound over text

Lily Evans: its just its only been four days since u left but i have 983293 things to tell u and ur not here

Lily Evans: anyway

Lily Evans: i feel like an idiot goodnight

James Potter to Lupin more like LupLAME: I HAVE RETURNED

Sirius Black: did u bring gifts

James Potter: no

Sirius Black: go back

Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: not 2 b dramatic but anything james can do i can do better

Lily Evans: including eating the most grapes in 2 minutes which i have just proven

Remus Lupin: are you two ever just normal

Remus Lupin changed the group name to uncultured shits

James Potter: we’re not uncultured just cause we dont like crackers

Sirius Black: i love crackers but only with caviar

Remus Lupin: dont align yourself with me

James Potter to Lily Evans: thanks for the oranges

James Potter: also why the oranges

Lily Evans: because you like them and our neighbors tree is low hanging

James Potter: oh

James Potter: shit im glad i know you

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: james just fell in the parking lot and set off a car alarm

Sirius Black: typical

Sirius Black: i cant believe you want to fuck this guy

Lily Evans: yeah

Lily Evans: WAIT

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: so u know today when james nearly died trying to jump off the assembly balcony to win a fiver

Sirius Black: i think i do recall

Remus Lupin: remember when he was on the ground and everyone was yelling and you asked me what the number for 000 was

Sirius Black: i was STRESSED

Remus Lupin: this isnt about you do you know what lily said to peter abt james

Remus Lupin: peter was bein all dramatic and said ‘hes dying’

Remus Lupin: and lily said ‘dont be ridiculous he would never do that to me’

Sirius Black: when are they going to fuck

Remus Lupin: yeah i thought it was rather romantic myself

Lily Evans to James Potter: at the risk of sounding like a tit im rlly tired of not kissing you

Lily Evans: as in i would really very much like to kiss you now and often

Lily Evans: its so late and i like you so much

Lily Evans: you always know how to make me laugh

James Potter: open your window

Lily Evans: its three in the morning

James Potter: if i keep running these red lights like i am i should be outside urs in 3 minutes

Lily Evans: oh thank god

Sirius Black to if birds get the flu can they still call it bird flu??: james has changed his profile pic from The Boys™ to one of him and lil

James Potter: why are you talking abt me like im not in this chat

Sirius Black: lupin, tell potter im not speaking to him

Remus Lupin: james, sirius says he wants to blow you

James Potter: id rather he didnt

Sirius Black: WHY DOES NO ONE WANT ME TO BLOW THEM WHEN WILL I FIND REAL MATES

#its (basically) october and this is making a shitty comeback bc yall seemed 2 want it back for some reason #jily #james potter #lily evans #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #brotp: the lot #carolineswritingtag #caroline does social media #IM TIRED I SPENT 2 LONG ON THIS I HOPE U ALL LIKE IT #title inspo kind of to ernest hemmingway but .i dont want him 2 have credit so im not giving it 2 him #ive worked on this on and off (very off) for months im weirdly nervous for it to be in the world but that is how writing works i guess

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