#sorry i made you wait ages for this juli i hope you like it!
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Steve is hanging out with Robin when he hears a knock at the front door. Robin gives him a concerned look as he leaves the living room to open it, neither of them expecting anyone, and everyone they know has a key.
When he opens the door, a girl he guesses is around Dustin’s age is there, nervously playing with her hands, a backpack loosely thrown over her shoulder. “Hi, sorry to bother you but, do the Harrington’s live here?” she asks shyly.
“Yes, I’m Steve. Who are you?” There is a familiarity to her face that he can’t quite place.
“Steve, right, they said he had a son. I’m uh, my name is Julie. Your dad kinda knew my mom.”
He must have met her at one of his dad’s work events, that has to be why she looks familiar. “Oh ok, did she have to drop something off here or something?”
“Well, kinda. But it’s not what you’re probably expecting.” She pauses looking unsure of what she is going to say next. “Can I- can I come it, you might want to sit down for what I have to say. It’s kind of shocking.”
“I’m not sure, I don’t really know you. Could you tell me who your mom is, maybe I can remember you then.”
She takes a deep breath. “When I said that my mom knew your dad, I didn’t mean from work. Well, I did mean from work but she hasn’t worked for him in over fifteen years, so I doubt you’d remember her. She was his secretary for a while, and they had a very,” she pauses again, looking around to see if anyone is there. “Intimate, relationship.”
The dots clicked immediately in his head, thoughts immediately started to run around about who this girl could really be. He thinks that her offer to sit down was probably necessary. “Yeah, why don’t you come in.”
“Ok.” She steps through the doorway, waiting for him to lead her through the house.
He brings her to the kitchen, motioning for her to sit at the small table. Grabbing a few glasses, he fills them with water and brings them over, placing one in front of her. She thanks him, taking it and gulping it down with shaky hands. The more he looks at her, the more he can’t help but see more and more similarities, just ones that remind him of himself.
“Who was it, Steve,” Robin asks, wandering into the kitchen. “Oh shit, hi.”
“Rob, this is Julie, her mom apparently knew my dad.” Steve makes a motion with his head to indicate how, hoping that she can read it right.
With the way her eyes widen, he can’t help but think that she did. “Oh like, special knew. Like knew knew.”
“Yes,” Julie says weakly. “Yeah, they did.”
“Oh shit,” Robin takes a seat next to Steve, her hand immediately finding his. It brings comfort, reassurance that she’s there. He knew his dad was a piece of crap cheater, his mom certainly made it known during many of their screaming matches. But with the girl staring at him with the same eyes he sees every morning in the mirror, his brain can’t help but jump to the conclusion that she’s, something. And that just makes his chest tighten in anxiety.
“I, uh.” Julie starts, wringing her hand nervously again. “I don’t really know how to say this gently. But, when my mom worked for your dad, they had an affair. It didn’t last that long, but remember when I said my mom stopped working for him like fifteen years ago? It was actually seventeen because that’s when she figured out she was pregnant.”
Steve feels a lump forming in his throat as she nods, trying to take it all in. “With you?” he asks, not knowing how he is even speaking at all right now. Robin squeezes his hand.
Julie gives a small nod, looking down at the table. “Yeah.”
“And my dad is-” he can’t finish the sentence, but it’s answered by her sorry nod. “Holy shit.”
He runs a hand through his hair, trying to wrap his head around everything. This girl, Julie, is his sister. Half-sister, whatever, it doesn’t matter. Robin breaks her contact with him and goes to rub his back instead. His head falls into his hands propped up on the table and he just focuses on breathing.
“Steve, you ok?” Robin’s voice soothes him a little bit, but when your world just gets shattered, there’s not much that can be done to help completely.
“I knew he cheated. I knew that, accepted that. It’s why my mom followed him around on all his trips. But he- he had a kid, and just hid it.”
“I’m sorry. I know this is a lot to take in, I have proof if you want to see it.”
Steve looks at Robin, asking her what to do with his eyes. She shrugs, her way of saying that it couldn’t hurt. Probably is better that they have proof anyway, make sure this is legit. He nods, unable to say anything.
“Could we see it? Just to double-check everything,” Robin asks for him. God he’s so happy that she’s here
Julie ruffles around in her backpack, random clothes peeping out as she pulls out a file. She opens it, pulling out two pieces of paper before going in again and pulling out what looks like a school ID. “Here’s my birth certificate and the paternity test. And my ID with my picture on it, so you know it’s me.”
The first thing he sees is his father’s name on the test results, followed by the line saying his relation to Julie is undeniable. That he was undeniably the father. The birth certificate only has the signature of her mother and the doctor, but the father’s name is absent. He ditched them, probably made her mom prove that this kid was his, and then just paid them to shut them up. His mom would never know, he would never know, and they never had access to any of his records.
Julie Rebecca Lawson, born January 28, 1970. He was three when she was born. He’s had a sibling this whole time, and he didn’t even know it.
“Does your mom know you’re here?” Robin asks, softly.
Julie’s face visibly falls as she rapidly blinks away some tears. “She- she died two weeks ago. Car accident.”
“I’m so sorry, Julie,” Robin reaches across to comfort her, but the hand she was going to grab gets pulled away. “Whoever is watching you then, do they know where you are?”
She sniffles. “I’ve been staying with a foster family while they find a permanent placement. They don’t really care where I am. My caseworkers were trying to find some family, but my grandparents are long gone and my mom’s sister is in no place to take in a kid. So they were looking on my dad’s side.” She says the word dad as if they don’t fit right in her mouth.
“I didn’t come here looking for a place to say,” she continues. “Right before my mom passed, she finally told me about my dad. How he never wanted anything to do with me because he had a big reputation and another family. It was supposed to be a secret, but the more I thought about it, I couldn’t help but think that you had a right to know. And then since she-, since I needed a place to stay, it was only a matter of time before you found out. I knew he was out of town so I thought it might be better to say it myself. Now I’m not so sure that was such a great idea.”
“No,” Steve finally says. “I’m, I’m glad you told me. You’re right, we, me and my mom, had a right to know. So, thank you. Rob, could I talk to you for a minute?”
She stands. “Yeah. We’ll be right back, ok Julie.”
Julie says a soft reply as Robin leads Steve to the living room. She has shock in her eyes, he’s sure he does too. “I don’t know what to do, Rob.”
“How could you? You just found out that your dad had another kid. With another woman. And then hid it from you. How are you supposed to cope with that information?”
“I don’t know. I have no clue what to do from here but I can’t help but. Shit Rob, I want to help her.”
“Steve, you don’t know her, at all. She just spawned on your doorstep not even an hour ago and just dropped the biggest bombshell on you since the, you know what. I get that you want to help her, I do. Shit, I do too. But I’m just asking that you take a step back and think about this.”
Steve crosses his arms, pulling his eyebrows together. The decision was pretty much made in his mind, but she was right. “What if she stays the night, we sleep on this and get to know her more tomorrow. Then we can go from there.”
“Ok,” she puts a hand on Steve’s arm. “That’s a good plan.”
Robin steps forward, pulling him into a hug before they walk back into the kitchen. Julie looks back up at them, uncertainty filling her face. It reminds him so much of himself it sort of hurts. “Julie, you can stay the night, if you want to. That way tomorrow we can talk some more, and get to know each other, figure out what to do about this. But I can drive you back to the house you’re staying at if you’d like.”
“Could I stay here, I really don’t like it there.”
“Come on, I’ll show you the guest room.”
If this gets enough interest, I might make this into a whole fic of its own. So let me know if this interests you at all.
Edit: This fic is now happening. I'm creating a tag list so if you'd like to be added to it, please respond under this post (so I can keep track of it better)
Edit 2: The fill part one is now posted here
#stranger things#steve harrington#robin buckley#original character#steve has a sibling#he just didn't know it#steddie#eddie will be in this too#julie would have lived in the same trailer park so they were neighbors#it would be post season 4#about a year later#so she's the same age as the party pretty much
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I have a request please!
Could you write about Eddie dear and Frank frankly taking care of a regressed reader?
(Headcannon or fanfic I don’t mind!)
Sorry I didn’t notice I got an ask !! Im still getting used to Tumblrs interface, especially since it’s so different on my phone than my laptop (╯‿╰,)
Absolutely ! I’ll do headcanons since everything is so new, but I hope you enjoy it anon ! Hope you don’t mind that I like writing reader as a fellow puppet of the Neighborhood.
Synopsis : Frank and Eddie take care of you during dinner time and tuck you in for bed
✿ ⌂ ✿ ⌂ ✿ ⌂
✿ Just like Julie, you would consider yourself pretty good friends with Frank. You trusted him more than anyone else in the Neighborhood. So when he finally made it official with Eddie, you were over the moon for him! Now you had two besties to hang out with
✿ Most everyone knew you age regressed occasionally, heck, some of your fellow neighbors did as well ! Sally, for example, regressed like you do and made for wonderful playdates
✿ When Frank had suggested that both him and Eddie act as your caregivers, you hesitated. On one hand, it would be awesome having not one but TWO caregivers. On the other hand, you felt rather shy opening up to Eddie in such a vulnerable state.
✿ In the end though, you agreed. Frank had said that he spoke with Eddie before approaching you about it, and that the mailman was more than excited to partake. “I think it would be fun!” He had said
✿ Franks home is a nice little two bedroom house with a little office he kept for all his insect stuff. Especially his display of butterfly shadow boxes. The spare bedroom was originally a guest bedroom but doubled as the space where you and Frank would hang when regressed
✿ As the afternoon turned into evening and Eddie’s shift ended, little you and Frank waited patiently (albeit excitedly) for the mailman to come home. Dinner was around the corner and Frank had already set the table, your own colorful plastic plate and cutlery set out as well.
✿ “I’m home!” Eddie announced loudly as he entered the house. He set his satchel and hat off to the side. “Sorry if I’m a little late, I got lost delivering some of the last packages.”
✿ “Welcome Home.” Frank greeted him as well and went to give his hello kisses. You giggled at their interaction from your place at the table. “Dinners ready whenever you are.”
✿ You couldn’t help the giggles that seemed to spill out of you as you watch the two dot over eachother. It was enough to catch Eddie’s attention. “Now what this over here? Looks like someone has a case of the giggles.”
✿ “Papa gave Daddy kisses.” You said gleefully behind your hands. Eddie left Frank’s side to come over to you as he enveloped you in a hug.
✿ “And Papa gives kisses to littles too!” He said giving you quick smooches to both your cheeks. His hands found their way to your sides and before you could register what he was doing, he began to tickle you. This sent you into a raging fit of laughter, absolutely shrieking before Eddie took mercy and took his place at the table.
✿ Dinner went by normally. Frank put your food on your plastic plate, with dividers, and poured your favorite juice in a sippy cup. Eddie talked about his day and how it went and in turn ask you and Frank how yours was.
✿ “We played with Sally at her house and for lunch we had sandwiches that Miss Poppy made. It was really yummy. Then we had nap time and daddy read me the hungry caterpillar, it’s my favorite bug book.” You rambled off when it your turn to talk about your day. It was like that as everyone finished their food as Frank and Eddie started taking plates and washing them.
✿ Frank had been to worried in the past that you might accidentally cut yourself with something sharp while helping with the dishes, so he asked instead if you didn’t mind getting into your pajamas for the night. “I’m sure papa would love to see your new jammies we got from Howdys.”
✿ The idea of being able to show off your new pjs was more than enough motivation to leave to two in the kitchen as they cleaned. When you came back, they were finished and had put most of everything away.
✿ “Papa!” You had practically shouted as you came into the living room. “Look at my pjs! The stars glow in the dark!” They were indeed cute pajamas. They had a solid blue background with white stars scattered about in various sizes.
✿ “Come here,” Eddie patted the space between him and Frank on the couch. You gladly wiggled in between them to cuddle. “Why, these look spectacular! You’ll have to show me them glowing when it’s bedtime.”
✿ As you snuggled between your caretakers you felt sleep slowly but surely creep its way up as you began to yawn. Surely closing your eyes just to rest them won’t make you go to sleep. Besides, papa is telling a real interesting story (that you aren’t following) to daddy so of course you’ll stay awake.
✿ In all honesty, you only lasted for roughly half an hour, and that’s being generous. The sun had set long ago and the hour was late. “Oh dear,” Eddie said, suddenly dropping his voice to a whisper. “I believe they’ve fallen asleep.”
✿ “So they have.” Frank whispered. “Here, why don’t we take ‘em to bed.” He gently pried himself away from you, moving ever so slowly in order not to wake you. Eddie scooped you up in his strong arms, trying his best not to stir you, and carried you to the guest room.
✿ While Eddie tucked you into bed, Frank grabbed one of your stuffed animals and expertly slid it between your arms. You moved a little but it was to grasp the toy and hold it dearly. Frank plugged in a nightlight on the opposite side of the room before tiptoeing out, Eddie leaving right behind.
✿ Even though Frank had left you a nightlight, he flipped the hallway light on and left the door open a creek. He knew that you hated wondering around in the dark in case you needed something in the middle of the night.
✿ “Goodnight sleepy bug.” Eddie whispered to your sleeping form before finally taking his leave and following Frank upstairs and to their bedroom.
#wally darling#welcome home arg#frank frankly#julie joyful#sally starlet#barnaby b beagle#eddie dear#howdy pillar#poppy partridge#welcome home#welcome home agere#caregiver Frank Frankly#caregiver Eddie Dear#age regressor reader#age regressor#sfw little community#sfw caregiver#i hope you like this#I wasn’t too sure what to write tbh#but I had fun writing it regardless
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YOU ARE A PROBLEM…
Part 2
Summary: You were a senior in college and after dropping out for year due to stress and you inability to actually do any work you were behind while all your friends were off travelling the world and moving on with their lives you were left in Cleveland Ohio but it wasn’t all bad you did baby sit a grey haired, jet ski loving single father kids for the money or maybe it was because you just wanted to see him but who can blame you I mean look at him…
Mobius m Mobius/Fem reader
Warnings : age gap
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It had been about two weeks since you saw Mobius in person and no matter how hard you scrubbed your face when taking off makeup or when you washed your skin in the shower, you still felt his large callous hand against your cheek on your forehead the way his eyes stared at you with care and adoration how his rosy lips held a pout and his soft voice showed care.
You had heard from him, he text you the other day asking if you could have the boys early in the morning. He had some kind of important meeting at his store to do with employee safety, so here you were stood outside his house in mid-July, the blazing sun and warm sticky summer air on your exposed skin. You did have a cardigan to match your summer dress, but it was now thrown in your small bag.
You pressed the gold bell, waiting for someone to open the door, hoping it to be Shaun or Kevin, but no you heard the faint call off “Shaun eat your pancakes” as the door opened you saw Mobius stood in all his glory his bare chest and low hung flannel pants a coffee mug in his hand his hair tousled and unkept and his constant sleepy eyes.
“Y/n you're early” he smiled at you, but you were busy staring at his body as your face flushed once more as it always did in his presence. “Am I ?” You quickly responded, “you said 8 am in your text. I can go home if you like and come back” you added “no, no not at all” he moved to the side “come in.”
“It must be my fault, as per usual, the meeting got pushed back to 9 sorry I should have told you” he shut the door, staring at your unknowing self. The light pink sundress you wore with the floral pattern and loose buttons, the way it hugged your body and flown down just passed your knees your hair being slight frizzy and the small sun kissed tan that spread across your cheek and nose as you stared around his home in awe as though you hadn't been there nearly thirty times in the past year he shook his head quickly before walking in-front of your frozen body “it’s so warm. I know they said they’d be a heat wave but this fast and this warm” he gave you a small chuckle as he walked into the kitchen.
And there it was, his bare back so clear in your eyesight his shoulder slumped before stretching showing ever detail of his muscles and shoulder blade hidden beneath those tight perfectly fitted shirts he usually dawns. Your brain was begging you to look away, but you would not and could not listen, you slowly followed him, your eyes staying on his back.
“Shaun, your favourite person is here” he spoke to his son who sat at the table digging at his poorly made pancakes “and don’t say she’s not, you admitted it the other day” Mobius quickly added before his son could say anything “I wasn’t going to deny it” Shaun give you a small smile “what a sweetheart you are” you smiled at the young boy.
“Y/N you’re here !” The younger kid came behind you, almost sending you off your feet, hugging you from behind. “Kevin, be careful with the lady.” He scolded him lightly for being so rough. “No it’s alright I can handle him” you laughed, ruffling the boy’s hair.
“Do you want a drink or anything ?” Mobius asked, leaning against the counter, his legged crossed over one another, “any food ?” He asked more “don’t eat the pancakes” Shaun butted in “those pancakes are great now eat them.” Mobius defended his terrible cooking skills “no, no I’m okay thank you” you laughed “I can’t make chocolate chip” he added, shrugging “Y/n can” Shaun spoke again, making you laugh.
The pair of boys sat at the table eating and colouring in small pictures as you stood near the counter, Mobius stood up and walked over quite close to you, whispering in your ear “be careful with Kevin today. He’s been having nightmares, but he won’t tell me what they’re about, he just seems to be a bit shaken up recently” Mobius pulled away, not very far but just enough to look you in your eyes. “I will” you gave him a small nod, “thank you” he smiled.
You look back at the boys who were staring at the pair, small stupid smiles on their faces. “Don’t you have homework you should be doing ?” Mobius stayed stood close to you, his bare chest mere inches away from your goose bump covered arms. “Don’t you have a meeting you should be getting dressed for ?” you defended the boys and Mobius turned his head to you, a small moment of shock on his face which quickly turned into a sly grin. “You're right” he answered you, placing his cup on the side before scooting past you off upstairs.
You sat down with the two boys, asking how school was going and what they had been up too, listening to their stories. Kevin asked you to help with homework and, of course, you agreed that what you were there for about twenty minutes later, you heard the quick heavy steps of Mobius coming down the stairs. “I’m got to get going. You two be good to her” he warned the boys, pointing his finger at both, “and if you need anything just call me, I’ll be straight home.” He clicked his finger, giving you a small wink. It was a usual response of his nothing more but Mobius kindness.
You saw the man walk out of the room and as you turned your attention back to the two boys, your eyes saw mobius blue store keys on the top. You stood up and grabbed them, heading to the door just as Mobius was about to leave, “Mobius your keys”
Mobius ? Mobius ? He smiled at you calling him by your name, a small fluttering feeling arising in his chest at hearing you call his name. You held out the keys, waiting for him to take them, and he did after a moment of pause. “Thank you” he took them off you, his quick touch lingering on your hand “I’ll see you soon I promise” he gave you a smirk before leaving out the door.
You turned round and there stood Kevin, the small boy staring at you, “do you like my dad ?” His question which caught you off guard, “what ?” you replied so defensively to this little boy as though he accused you of murder. “My dad likes you, he says to us after we tell him how much we like you, he says you're kind and smart and a very loving person. He misses out the part of you being pretty” you were taken aback by the normally destructive boys' word.
“Ohh well your dad is a very sweet man. He’s very kind.” You smiled at Kevin’s words, your stupid cheeks blushing once more at this new information, “do you think my dad is pretty ?” The young boy asked, “well… I think your dad is handsome, if that’s the word you want to use ?” You gave him a small smile, “but I think we should go focus on your homework instead, how about that ?” You grabbed his hand, walking into the kitchen, where Shaun still sat trying to digest Mobius pancakes.
“Do you want me to make you some chocolate chip pancakes ?” At your suggestion, Shaun’s eyes lit up, “yes please.” He replied smiling “of course” you laughed.
The rest of your day was filled with helping the boys with homework and playing outside. You open the draw at one point, seeing Mobius had hidden the matches from Kevin, which made you laugh. You made some more food while the boys still played outside before calling them in to watch a film.
Kevin nodded off at about eight, which was unbelievable early for him, and Shaun stayed awake laying beside you on the sofa, a knitted blanket over the three of you. You heard the small click of the door open, and you slowly stood up from the sofa, resting Kevin’s head down.
You saw Mobius toss his keys into the pot before turning to you, “how was your day ?” You quickly asked, seeing his moody face before noticing you “it was all good just some pain in the arse customers” he answered “let me guess they wanted a quad and not a jet ski” you joked “exactly that” he laughed “how were they ?” He asked, nodding to the front room, “they were as sweet as always, got all their homework done with no fuss are some vegetables done some dancing and had some fresh air. Kevin even fell asleep on the couch, Shaun just watching a film, but I reckon he'll be out cold soon.” You explained the easy and loving day you had with two boys, “I’m sorry about you being here all day. I’m sure this not how you like to spend your free days” he grabbed his wallet from his pocket “no, no not at all. I love spending time with the two of them. They are sweethearts” you smiled and Mobius raised his brow, a small smile on his face, “are you sure you have the right kids ?” He joked and you smiled.
He quickly handed over some money, a lot more than he needed to give you. “Mobius this is way too much” you went to give him it back “nonsense you do way more than needs to be, and you're here in a heart beat any time I call please take it you deserve it” he gave another small smile quickly putting away his wallet, so you couldn’t argue. “I—thank you” you thanked the man for his usual kindness. There was small silence between the two of you, a comfortable and long silence.
“Do you want me to drive you home ?” He asked, going to grab his keys before you even responded. “No worries, I’m getting picked up.” You responded, “who by ?” He seemed curious and eager to know your answer, his shoulders unknowingly tensing at your words “just my mom” you laughed “ohh” a small sigh of relief left his mouth “I’ve got to learn how to drive” you rubbed your head laughing “you’ll be fine don’t worry” he laughed with you.
You then heard the beep of your moms' car, “that’s her. I’ll see you soon Mr M” you pulled your bag over your shoulder “call me Mobius” he cleared his throat “if you want it.” He looked at the floor, “I will Mobius” you smiled at him. Just as you went to leave, he grabbed your hand once in a more loose, gentle lingering grip, “thank you… for all you do.” He smiled, letting go, and you just nodded at him, a stupid heartfelt smile on your face at the small touch he gave you “see you soon Mobius” you bid him a quick goodbye, heading out the door “goodnight Y/N” he said as you left.
He quickly rubbed his face, wondering why he grabbed your hand and why he had to tell you thank you in such a weird and intimate way. You were his boys' babysitter, and yet he felt like you done so much more than you needed to do, as though you were there for them and not just for the money, he shook his head quickly before walking into the living room to his boys.
~
#i’m in love#loki season 2#loki laufeyson#mobius mcu#mobius loki#mobius marvel#mobius m mobius#mobius x reader#mobius#mcu loki#marvel mcu#mcu#mcuedit#mcu fanfiction#tva loki#loki marvel#loki series#loki spoilers#lokius#loki#loki show
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Picking Peach Chapter One
Warning: Minors DNI 18+ does have a small oral sex scene, talks of age gap, mental health, cheating
Word Count: 6470
A/N: Sorry this is so long. Part one is here and I plan on writing more of this this weekend. I hope you all like it <3
July 16, 2021
Ben POV
Peach? Who was this Peach everyone was posting pictures of and wishing a happy birthday to? All these pictures of a pretty blonde with a smile on her face that could solve all the problems of the world. She was gorgeous and that was putting it lightly. She seemed to know everyone but why didn’t I know her?
There were pictures of her out, never a drink in hand but always in some shade of pink like she was a young Anna Nicole Smith. She seemed younger than 27, but that was what everyone was wishing her. A happy 27th. 13 years younger than me. Lucky 13. Her arms around Instagram models and her arms around rockstars. And her lips on…Nikki SIxx? Well… that didn’t seem to fit.
A quick follow on Instagram before some more web sleuthing and it turns out she had been with him for nearly a decade. The age difference of thirty six years made me blow out a breath. Even in Gold Diggers the age difference hadn’t been that big. This was a lifetime.
But the way she looked up at him and how he looked at her…he knew that he had something in her. Lucky old man.
Still…
‘Happy Birthday “Peach”. Surely that can’t be your real name?’
I sent the Instagram DM, looking around the airport like someone would know I had flirted with someone else's girlfriend. Was I flirting? Maybe.
My heart leapt when I saw that she added me back, a quick red heart from liking my message showed up and my pulse quickened as I waited, watching her type and then ‘Thank you. Haha. Nikki called me Peach years ago and it just stuck.’
No name. Nothing and for some reason I hated the idea of calling her Peach. I needed to know her real name.
‘But if you promise not to tell a soul…Sasha Jade.’
I smirked at this, licking his lips as he tasted the smile on my face. My fingers typing out a new message to her. I just needed more, this magnet pulling me towards her for some reason as I waited for my flight back to LA
‘I’ll take it to the grave. Happy Birthday, Sasha Jade.’
She didn’t respond, just liked the message but it was enough for me now.
Peach POV
My real name. What a curious thing to ask for. I sat back, smirking at the idea of someone in the world knowing me by my name and not a nickname that Nikki had given to me years ago and I had got stuck with. How curious Ben Barnes was. This handsome British actor I vaguely knew about. Very handsome. Very good looking. Not young young but young enough that Peach was interested.
“You’re smiling at your phone, birthday girl.” Nikki’s hands were on my shoulders as he leaned in kissing my cheek. My hands went over his hand as I closed my phone not needing him to squint over my shoulder at what I was doing.
I was so tired lately.
“Mhh, Sami was texting me about LA being too crowded. She is buying a house in Colorado so she can survive the zombie apocalypse she is sure is coming any day now.” he laughed into my ear and i forgot all about that man sliding into my DM, turning to wrap my arms around Nikki, feeling his lips on mine as he kissed me.
It was nice being home.
The pandemic last year had been a difference in our lives. Before the pandemic we would travel and get to see the world together. But being forced to stay still as the world went to hell changed us. Nikki was looking for things to do and my anxiety got out of hand. I was so nervous doom scrolling the news that I had to go to a new therapist and NIkki insisted that I do an inpatient at a private hospital for a week until I calmed down.
It wasn't the first time Nikki had guided me like this. Sometimes my feelings were too much and he needed me to take a break. But sometimes it made me afraid thinking when I would feel too much again.
“I might go lay down for a bit.” Nikki was pulling away, frowning at me as I said this and I wondered what I had said that was wrong
“Really, Peach?” I blinked, confused as I saw the way his face darkened, “You know I’ve been working on my book. I took today off for your birthday and you just want to sleep?” he scoffed as I stood up, wrapping my arms around myself as I watched him walk away from me, having to chase after him.
It was always me running after him.
“Nikki, please. What do you want to-”
“I’m going to write Peach. Enjoy your nap.” his office door shut as I frowned, pressing my hands to my eyes as I thought about screaming.
Everyone thought I got everything I wanted but all I got was locked doors and the taste of my own tears. It was nine years with Nikki this coming September and yet instead of being solid I felt shakier than ever.
He would be touring again and I felt sick at the thought; when I was 21 Nikki toured in 2015. I was finishing up school and couldn’t come with him but it was when Instagram was big, so I saw the pictures of him cheating on me online. It was the first time my emotions got too big for Nikki and he found me a pretty little place to stay in Malibu where they kept me calm and I talked about how I could be better.
I forgave him. Of course I did. He had taken care of me and I was young, and thought it was my fault for not being there. I took the blame for his faults.
But now…thinking of the tour he was going on again…I was sick.
Pulling the blanket over my head I breathed in and out, pulling out my phone and feeling my cheeks pink as I reached for my airpods, pressing them in as I started scrolling through Instagram.
Why had Ben Barnes DM’d me?
Mutual people we followed. Posts he might have seen. And- Oh…a like on a picture from 2015. What a finger slip. I smirked as I slid back to my DM’s, glad he was looking at my pictures so I didn’t make this awkward.
‘Deep Diving, I see. Anything you’re looking for?’
Ben POV
Fucking bloody hell.
I had been jostled on the plane and my damned finger hit a photo, liking it. And not even ten seconds later there was a message from Sasha showing up to show that this was not going unnoticed and she knew I was looking at all her photos.
‘I am thoroughly embarrassed. And to be caught so soon… Aren’t you celebrating your birthday?’
Downside was that I looked like a crazy person liking old posts but the plus side was that she was talking to me.
‘To overshare I’m having a Lesley Gore sort of birthday.’
My frown settled on my face. That wasn’t a very good birthday. I looked around, thankful for the privacy of first class as I held up my phone, singing into it. She deserved a Happy Birthday song sung to her. I wasn’t going to overthink it, just sing ‘Happy Birthday to Sasha’ and sending the voice memo.
This was overstepping a line. But she looked gorgeous in her pictures and I was curious as to why this beautiful girl was with an old man…
Shit.
Shit. What happens if he is with her and hears me singing happy birthday to his girl? What was I thinking? Why can’t I resist a pretty face why could I-
‘You’re an angel, Ben Barnes.’
An angel.
I smirked, tasting the smile on my lips again as I eased back in my seat and started sending more messages to her, wanting to hear all about her. I could only learn so much from pictures. What I hadn’t expected was the flight from New York to LA to be filled with learning about her, sharing stories as fast as our fingers could type. We exchanged selfies, mine on the plane, pillow around my neck and her in bed, an oversized hoodie on and just pretty eyes poking out for me to see.
She should be dancing for her birthday, enjoying the day and seeing her alone in bed as she deflected saying that she didn’t want to go out made me think there was a lot I didn’t know, a lot to learn about Sasha.
But I felt like we were friends now, so that was a huge step in a short time. I just had a feeling we were destined to be more than that.
Especially when she gave me her number and the invitation to let her know when I got home safe.
Nikki POV
Looking up I realized my office was bathed in darkness. My neck heart from typing and I pulled off my glasses, rubbing the bridge of my nose, realizing that I had spent the better part of the day holed up in here writing. I had gotten a ton done but I was shocked that Peach hadn’t snuck in, looking for attention. Especially since it was her birthday.
Her birthday which she had chosen to spend alone.
Peach had been sad lately. The type of sad that sometimes called for trips to the doctors to make her feel better. Poor Peach. My sweet broken girl who needed help putting a smile on her face.
I hadn’t even given her the gifts I had gotten for her.
Pushing up from the chair I stretched, feeling the kinks in my back as I moved my body, stretching as I grabbed the bags from the closet, shuffling upstairs. I expected to hear quiet but instead I heard soft laughter and the sound of the TV on. My eyebrows furrowed together as I saw Peach, smiling as she watched something on TV, her phone to her ear as she laughed again, a smile on her face that I had forgotten she had.
Her eyes landed on me and I watched it crumble. Her hand going to the remote to pause the show, some Game of Thrones looking thing.
“I..I’m sorry I have to go. Thank you for calling and letting me know you were safe. And thank you for the Happy Birthday…it was…thank you. Bye-Bye.” she hung up, tucking her phone under her as she looked at me, all big eyes and pretty pout as she crawled over the bed, making that oversized hoodie she was wearing look more like lingerie than anything else. “I gave you lots of time to work on your book. Are you happy with me, daddy?” I groaned as I set her presents on the bed, taking Peach in my arms and kissing her deeply.
She roped her arms around me, pulling me against her as I laid her down on the bed, wanting to make up for ignoring her. I Wanted her to know that I was sorry. Wanting to-
“Can I open my presents?” she was biting her lip, giving me that spoiled little smirk of hers and I knew I couldn’t say now. She was delighted as she dove in. tearing packaging off designer packages and clapping her hands with delight.
I loved watching Peach be spoiled.
“Nikki!” She threw herself in my arms kissing me all over as I held her. Breathing her in, “Thank you.” Her voice was muffled against my chest, her eyes on me sparkling as I sighed, hands tangling with her hair, drawing her in and kissing her forehead.
My sweet Peach.
This book had be remembering moments of my life that I had wanted to forget, putting me in a state of constant go, trying to move away from the bad. Poor Peach was getting caught up in the running, reaching out to me as I swatted her away.
But I am here with her now.
“Let me take you out, Peach. For your birthday, please?” We could still have dinner. I could save this. I could make this better. She looked at me, nodding her head. A sigh of relief leaving my lips as she scared away to her closet and I plopped down on the bed.
Her work cell phone came out from under her pillow and my eyebrows furrowed. Peach’s main cell phone was on my plan and she barely ever used her ‘LA phone’ as she called it. My eyes glanced at the closet where I could hear her bustling around and licking the corner of my lips as I picked it up. Shocked when I saw that it was locked.
“Peach? Were you working?” I heard the stillness as she poked her head out of the closet, looking at me with a smirk on her face.
“I’m always working.” she teased. “Give me five minutes and I should be done.” she was ducking back inside her closet as I locked at the locked phone again, feeling like something wasn’t quite right with all of this.
Would Peach lie to me?
“We’re still going to LA in October for your book launch?” she asked a moment later stepping out of the closet. It took Peach less than five minutes and she looked like a goddess, making me forget all the curiosity as I lost myself in her beauty.
She was in a pink dress, see through on her stomach with feathers over her breasts, it was short with her legs shimmering with freshly applied lotion I wanted to kiss off and high heels. Her blonde hair was down as she tilted her head putting in crystal big earrings. She had managed to do her makeup, simple but showing off my beautiful girl.
Sometimes it felt like beauty and the beast with her.
“Yeah, did you still want to come?” I asked as she made her way over to me, sitting down on my knee as she pulled at the lapels of my blazer, that smirk of hers driving me crazy as I breathed in the thickness of her perfume.
“I want to go everywhere with you, daddy.” She teased, leaving pink lipstick against my lips as she kissed me, slow and sensual. So unlike the hot and heavy kisses Peach and I usually shared as she slowed things down.
My hands rub her, wanting her as she smirks against my lips pulling away as I groan, reaching for her and pulling her back to me. She wasn’t going anywhere and she knew that.
I needed her and when I needed Peach that’s all I could think of.
…..
September 2021
Peach laughed as she looked at Ben. He threw his hands up at her, joining in with her laughter as she tucked a strand behind her ear. They had started in DM’s around Peach’s birthday, switching to text shortly after, then phone calls and now were in the Facetime era or their friendship. Some (Ben) would declare they were best friends and tease her about how he would get bracelets made for them. BUt it was true. They would Facetime for hours each day as the other just existed. Sharing space with each other, wanting to just be in the presence of each other.
Like now.
Ben was driving to the grocery store, a mundane task, and singing along to whatever was on the radio. His latest rendition of Single ladies having her laughing as she sat outside, knowing Nikki wouldn’t hear her since he was recording his audiobook in the cabin on the other side of the property. It was too loud in the kitchen since renovations were being made after Peach had accidently set it on fire the week before.
As she tucked her hair Ben caught sight of the bandages and remembered the frantic call she had given him. She was crying, unsure what to do. He had walked her through putting out the fire, trying to get her to stop crying before asking where Nikki was. It was the first time he had said the man's name out loud and it hurt worse when he had to tell Peach to go to him because he was sure she had gotten hurt enough that she needed to go to the hospital to treat her burns.
“Are you okay?” he asked her and she nodded her head, feeling stupid for what happened the week prior. No one was mad at her but she had managed to scare everyone with her carelessness. “Are you still coming to LA next month?” She nodded her head, reaching for her water to take a long drink.
She was trying to ignore this conversation but he wasn’t going to allow her to pretend like this couldn’t change their lives. Ben was no fool and very aware that he wanted to meet her in person.
But he knew it would change everything, just like Peach did.
“We can’t meet. You know that and please don’t make me say why.” Ben wanted to hear her say why. Wanted to know that he wasn’t crazy and that she was feeling it too. That this could happen if she opened up about it, “Plus Nikki’s keeping me on a short leash. He wants me to go on the whole tour and I just don’t want to be traveling like that.” Ben was surprised she was talking about Nikki in a negative way.
Sometimes she would let out tidbits of her unhappiness but to say she was on a short leash and give him more clarity shocked him.
“You get motion sick. Not a great thing in a tour bus.” Peach blinked, surprised that he remembered that and grateful that when she spoke someone listened to her. “Maybe you need to break the leash. Stay in your condo. Oh, about that. I went over and checked the place for you. I picked up the keys. You said you were just changing the locks but I wanted to be thorough.” Two people other than Peach knew about the condo she had in LA. Her best friend Sammie and now Ben.
She had always kept it separate not wanting NIkki to get ideas about her real estate and try to take over. Since her and Nikki did keep some finances separate she never thought of it as a lie.
“Thank you for doing that, you’re the best Ben Barnes.” He smiled at her, posing so she would laugh again, “Are you going to Trader Joes? That’s no fair!” He knew she always craved things from the store and planned to stock her condo for when she came to LA in a couple weeks. He wanted her to be able to use this trip to realize that she didn’t have to stay in Wyoming, like a princess stuck in a tower.
Sasha had options.
“Just move to LA and you can come shopping with me. I’ll even let you push the trolley.” She laughed at him and he knew he had used a word wrong, “What? What did i-”
“Are you on the phone with Sammie?” Peach ripped out the headphones, Ben watching the color drain from her face as she hung up with him, “On your work phone? What’s wrong with your regular phone? Did you smash the screen in a tantrum again?” He was teasing her and Peach had to put on her good girl face.
“You have time for me now, Daddy?” Her hands were out, pulling Nikki down on the couch, running her fingers through his hair as he made a soft hmm sound of content with her arms around him.
Peach softened at this, some of her doubts melting away as she felt him. Nikki was exhausted and she felt bad knowing he was trying to use the rest of his life to make all his dreams come true, to leave a legacy. BUt sometimes she felt like there wasn’t enough room for his dreams and to love her.
“Nik?” he made a hmm sound in response, “Do you love me?” He chuckled at this, turning to look up at her, his eyes on Peach who he could see was spiraling lately. Peach who got trapped in her head and made things worse than what they were. His sweet Peach girl looked at him and seemed so desperate as she asked him if he loved her and she meant it, she looked like she didn’t know.
“Peach, you’re my everything.” He said with a sigh, pulling up her shirt and kissing her stomach, “You’re the love that makes it all worth it.” he was closing his eyes as he kissed her soft stomach again.
She was laying on the couch, worried that it wasn’t enough.
October 2021
October came and Nikki looked at Peach with her several suitcases she was wheeling like this wasn’t an insane amount of shit to bring for a week trip to LA. He wanted to make a comment about how she was over packing but Peach had been in a weird mood for months and claimed it was work related.
She was working more. Nikki couldn’t deny that. Her work phone forever in her hands as she typed away. She was doing more brand deals too and he knew she had several projects she was working on when they were in LA. It was one of the first trips that they were going on that had them both planning different things. On one hand Nikki was thankful he wouldn’t have to deal with his pouty princess but on the other hand he was worried that she was overworking herself and would have a breakdown.
“Peach, it’s like you’re moving out.” She looked up at him, a flash of emotion that made his stomach knot on her face before it was masked over and she laughed at him, leaning in to kiss him.
“With the tour coming up I want to make sure I have enough stuff to pack since we’re leaving from LA. Plus cleaning out my closet at home means you can buy me new pretty things.” she teased him.
But Peach had already planned to have six of the bags delivered to her condo in LA that she kept separate from Nikki. She had been using it as additional income as a rental but her tenant had left at the end of August and Peach planned to fix it up a bit. Things weren’t going right and she believed in having an escape plan in all situations.
Nikki treated Peach like a spoiled child but at the end of the day she was worth a few million and had a steady income from her online involvement along with her counseling work she did at a law firm. Which she was going to extend while in LA to see if she could build her worth in case she needed to have more cash on hand. Peach wasn’t stuck in Neverland, the Peter Pan fantasy that she was sure that Nikki had managed to get stuck in at one point. She was growing up and out of being Peach, especially with Nikki not having the time or patience with her anymore.
Peach had a rough life and she never wanted to be as unprepared as she was as a teenager. She harbored a lot of fear of having everything go to hell like it had then and promised herself that she would always land on her feet.
And there was also the Ben situation. Ben who claimed to be her best friend and knew more about her than Nikki did at this point. Ben who left her voice messages of songs he was working on that made her shiver. Ben who had laughed when she told him it was 11:11 to make a wish and yet texted her every 11:11 he was awake for, letting her know he was making wishes. Ben who made Peach feel like herself and not something Nikki had created.
They had managed to stay friends. Just friends because they had never met but now Peach was on a flight to LA and her heart was in her throat as she thought about Ben who she had told more than she should have about Nikki. Ben who had told her she would need to make a decision one day and he would support her either way. Ben who had just left her a voice message as she sat next to Nikki on the plane.
‘Sasha, your fact of the day is about the Horned lizard. The scientific name is Phrynosoma, which I used google to learn how to say . The Horned lizard can shoot blood out of its eyes, up to three feet away. This rather disgusting act is used as a defense and to confuse predators away. Ta-ta now darling. Safe travels.’
Peach kept her face straight, glancing over at Nikki who was typing out messages to people he would visit in LA, getting all the time in with friends he had made along the way. There would be dinners she would need to sit through and places she would smile and get her picture taken at. Nikki claimed he hated LA, talked about what a rat race it was but at the same time when he was there he lived a life he was excited about and Peach could always feel the difference in his moods.
His hand landed on her thigh and she looked at his fingers, worn and tattooed. No ring on his finger. Peach sighed, her hand going over his as she laid her head against Nikki’s shoulder, loving when he remembered she was there and wishing she wasn’t always so desperate to have his attention.
“I have some surprises for you in LA, Peaches and cream. You’ve been such a good girl about being patient with this whole process. I couldn’t have done it without you. And it’s overdue that you get a little spoiled, right?” he teased her gently as she turned her head, burying herself in Nikki’s chest.
Peach felt guilty. Guilty that she had a friend who made her smile, who she turned to because he always had time for her. Made sure of that. And yet he wasn’t next to her right now. No, she was with Nikki. The love of her life and Peach hated worrying about if that was true. Was he the love of her life? Because she often felt like she wasn’t his.
Horned lizards shoot blood out of their eyes but Peach’s just cry.
NIKKI POV
It had been crazier than I had expected in LA. Peach had been less of a pouty brat than I expected and more of a shadow of a person. But I could see it on her face tonight that she was ready to rumble.
“We have two nights left in LA, Nik. And I haven’t seen you at all. Not one dinner. Not one date. Nothing and…what is that?” her head tilted to the side as she looked at the envelope I had in my hand, waving at her in a teasing manner. “Nikki! What is it?” She was dancing around me, her silk robe fanning out as I held it over my head, watching her smile as she wrapped her arms around me, kissing me on the chin to soften me.
“It’s a surprise. We’re going to a show tonight that's more jazz sort of lounge music. And I’m taking you out for dinner to have some one on one time with you.” I leaned in, kissing her as she squealed delighted as she pulled me in, long kisses as I let my hands roam despite knowing we didn’t have the time. I could make time for this. “Show daddy how happy you are with him, Peach.”
She looked at me, trying to hide her shock with a smile as she pressed down into the floor of our bedroom. Hands coming up to undo my jeans as her eyes glanced down at my cock, stroking me as I reached out, hand tangling with her hair. The way she gasped, my tip pushing into her lips catching her off guard.
Perfect.
Peach sucked me, hard as she stroked my shaft, using her lips as she moaned around me letting her tongue roll around my cock as she whimpered around me. She was Pulling off me with a pop, eyes up as she looked at me, stroking me with her lips still plump.
“Lay down, daddy. I want to sit on your face while I suck your cock.” Of course she wanted me to please her too.
I held her thighs, pushing her apart as my tongue slid into her, feeling her moans around my shaft as she choked sliding down me a little further. It had been too long since she had wanted to climb on my face like this and I realized just how starved I was for it. My fingers pressing into her weeping hole as she cried out.
I knew Peach’s body like no other. I could do things to her that she had only experienced with me. I loved how she trembled on me, throwing herself into swallowing the spit and precum as she tried to go deeper and deeper around me. So needy.
“Daddy,” she gagged around me as she shook out, swallowing loads of cum i was depositing into her mouth. Her own body propped up by my hands as she came against my tongue, giving herself up to me.
Peach crawled over, laying against my chest as she had her eyes half closed, ready to take her nap after exhausting herself.
“Tonight is a date night, Peach. No work phone.” she tensed in my arms for a second before nodding her head, pushing off the bed as she stood up, picking up her phone, hesitating for a second before turning it off and putting it in the bedside drawer.
“I’m all yours, NIk. Come shower with me.” her hands were held out and her pout was welcoming me in.
My sweet Peach. I was going to make sure I took time for moments like this more. I hadn’t been the man my girl needed and I needed to fix that.
One surprise ata time.
Peach POV
Ben was staring at me. That sneaky British fucker who looked so good in a suit that my mouth watered like I was hungry. His eyes were locked on mine as he sipped his scotch and he didn’t have the grace to look away. Nikki was on my arm, holding a bottle of water as I held my purse with two hands to keep them busy, wondering why out of all the shows Nikki wanted to go to we ended up here.
He was walking towards us? Eyes eating me up as I wished he didn’t look at me like that. Giving me knots in my stomach as I thought of how I should have never started talking to him.
“Great show man.” Ben smirked at Nikki, taking his eyes off of me as I melted in place, wishing Nikki had not insisted on coming backstage. “I’m Nikki. This is my girl P-”
“Sasha Jade.” I looked up, wide eyed as I heard my name spoken for what seemed like the first time in a decade. He smirked at me, leaning in and kissing my cheek, the bristle of his beard as we breathed each other in. Ben shifted to kiss my other cheek, so close that his lips just brushed over mine as he turned his head and I caught his eyes knowing it was done on purpose.
My head reached out for his bicep to steady myself as I thought about how incredibly small this room was and how I was ready to faint.
Nikki was there though and I let go of Ben as he pulled up, eyes giving me all the emotion I needed to see to know that this was a situation I didn’t need to be in with Nikki. He was already looking at Ben, trying to make sense of what he had just called me and how he knew me.
“I followed Sasha on Instagram a whole or so ago. I didn’t think Peach was her real name.” He looked from me up to Nikki and I wanted to leave. Very badly. The guilt I felt for Dming with him for the past few months was bubbling in my stomach and I felt like I was going to puke.
Nikki was pushing him into conversation, telling him a story about how he had played the Troubadour a million times and talking all about the 80’s and his glory days. Because of course that’s what he talked about when my feet ached in the heels and I was dying of thirst.
Ben kept eye contact with Nikki as he stepped toward the bar, grabbing a water and a barstool, pulling them back and handing me a drink as he nodded, keeping conversation with Nikki still. He held out a hand as he steadied the stool with his leg and helped me up on it, eyes still on Nikki as he listened to the story he was being told.
“Thank you.” I said softly, sipping my water as I finally rested my feet. I was exhausted, emotionally drained and wanted to scream.
“Did you already eat? I was headed back to my place soon and-“
“We ate already.” Nikki was short with him as Ben nodded his head, shaking Nikki’s hand and smiling at him. He knew that the time between them was done and anything extra would let him know to much.
Was there too much?
“Thanks for coming to the show.” Ben was so short with him and then he turned to me, eyes sparkling as I felt myself want to shake my head. But he was smart, “Goodnight, Sasha.” I only could wave a few fingers as he walked away.
What. The. Fuck.
“Everyone follows you, Peach. It was strange hearing him use your name.” Nikki was oblivious to the puddle I was in and I was thankful for that small miracle. Finally willing myself to stand up, grabbing Nikki’s arm.
“I’m exhausted, Nik. And I have an early shoot time.” He nodded, at least understanding that I had to work.
I wasn’t going to talk to Ben again. I needed to stop this because seeing him in person made my crush that much worse. But as I laid in bed listening to Nikki snore beside me I felt myself reaching for my phone, wishing to see a message from Ben, disappointed when I didn’t.
And that disappointment scared me.
Ben POV
The show had left me on a high where I couldn’t sleep. Even after staying until the venue had kicked us all out I had managed to push through and stay up until the twilight hours. Maybe I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about Sasha, wishing she would text me first so I didn’t come off as too pushy.
She had looked…phh..
Exquisite.
I couldn’t stop thinking of her. The sheer black gloves, that silk dress hugging her body. All black like a midnight sky and she was the moon, lighting up the room. I had caught sight of her when I was singing, eyes meeting hers as I sang 11:11 for the person it was written for, watching her painted red mouth gasp and oh what a dream come true it had been, until I realized the nightmare that was beside her.
She had told me about him, careful words but when we video chatted her eyes would drift to the side, sad and sullen before she wanted to change the subject. There was something about him that gave off dirty old man vibes and I wondered why she was with him.But she loved him and I think part of her knew she always would. Sasha was growing, learning and I hoped she would soon realize that you can hold onto a love story even after it ends.
We were friends but today, touching her and breathing her in. The way we looked at each other made it very, very clear what a terrible ruse this friendship was. This was a friendship where we pined for each other but I wouldn’t push her. No, if I pushed she would pull away.
‘You’re amazing. I don’t tell you that enough. You amazing, talented, handsome man. XXOO SJ’
Smiling at my phone like a fool. I wondered if she was in bed with him and my mood darkened as I put my phone down, turned away as i undid the button on my shirt and poured myself a drink. Looking out at LA I thought about the girl I knew I was going to fall in love with, very aware that she wasn’t ready for it.
I closed my eyes, head tilting back as I pinched the bridge of my nose and thought about what I was going to do. I didn’t want to be just her friend but if that was all I could get would it be torture or could I make it enough? Was I not understanding her side of the situation as much?
I couldn’t quit her cold turkey and knowing how unhappy she was, how could I let her sit there, waiting for me to respond and get nothing back. I had to put my feelings aside and think of her. Someone had to think of her.
‘You’re exquisite. Getting to sing to you in a crowd of people, it was my dream come true. Sleep well, darling XX BB’
I hope as she read that she knew that she was my dream and that I was never going to stop chasing her.
It was a new day, the sunlight was rising over LA as I pulled my phone from my pocket holding it up to my mouth to leave her a voice message.
‘The fact of the day, darling, is you’re the most ravishing girl I have ever seen. So blinded by your glow that I can’t close my eyes without seeing twinkling stars in your smile. I hope you’re sleeping, Sasha. I hope you only have swirls of good dreams dancing through your head. And if you wake up to this, Good morning and what a wonderful day I wish for you’
#nikki sixx#motley crue#mötley crüe#nikki sixx imagine#nikki sixx fanfiction#nikki sixx fan fic#nikki sixx fan fiction#Ben Barnes fan fic#Ben Barnes fanfic#ben barnes fanfiction#peach#Ben Barnes imagine#ben babes fan fic#Nikki SIxx imagine#peach and nikki sixx#daddy sixx
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My Demon Slayer oc
Hi, so I made this oc, but just so you know, I'm not an artist so that's why it's average
I wanted to do this for a long time, I had little ideas for a cute oc so here I am, humbly putting this here
Sorry if y'all have been waiting for a oneshot involving the literal Akaza, I didn't have any ideas anymore. Now, I might have an idea and there will be a post. But Idk when. And don't worry it's just this time that I'm doing something different, I'll continue to do Akaza content☻
I know I said that already but it's not a masterpiece but you know what? idc. idc anymore
And sorry if the headcanons don't make sense huhihjviveekevhhahahhahahhhaha AHHAHAHAHAHAHАННАННАНa
The Appearance
Family Name: Ha
First Name: Ariana (not the grande one🤨)
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Birth date: July 3rd
Height: 161 cm/ 5ft3
Weight: 55kg/ 121 lb
Occupation: Hashira
The Breathing Style
Light Breathing (6 forms)
光の呼吸 (Hikari no Kokyū)
☆Fruit of Enlightenment☆
☆Shower of Sparks☆
☆Reflection of the Stars☆
☆Depth's Glow☆
☆Gleam of Hope☆
☆First Sunrays of Dawn☆
the light breathing is derived from the thunder breathing
The Sword
her father, a passionnate weapon collector, travelled the world to collect them. he found a foreign sword he liked and left it to his daughter upon his death. she was inspired by this sword and created hers based on it.
the star represents the 6 forms of her breathing style
attached to her back with that grey thing around her torso
The Crow
I didn't draw it because I estimate that it is unnecessary since he looks like a regular crow. But he has a little red bracelet around his cute foot just so people know it's Ariana's. And his name is Revali (iykyk)
The headcanons
she is strong and she knows it (probably because of her breathing style? demons are creatures of the night, so the light contrasts, idk)
only child
has too much love to give
touch starved
would never refuse a hug
respects rules (never late, never enter homes with empty hands when invited, etc.)
easily shocked when someone doesn't have the same manners as her or doesn't show the same respect
would probably be against Nezuko being spared and would want Tanjiro to be punished
is embarrassed when she deals with attractive people
is literally so cute
so overly respectful to demons it sounds like she's making fun of them
example: "excuse me, sorry to come unnannouced... I am Ha Ariana, the Light Hashira, and I'm here to take your life!" all that with a sorry smile. Not because she has to kill them, but because she came in their home without knocking
encounter with Akaza : Why don't you become a demon? "Thank you for your offer, but my Hashira status prevents me from even considering it."
she flees from the fight if she knows she ain't winning sh*t, like the jjk characters (would only happen against The big 3 and Muzan chan) no bc if she know she's gonna lose why bother?
Like that woman would even announce it like "you're too strong, I'm off" (don't worry, if someone is in danger she'll flee with them)
encounter with Akaza 2:
Akaza: A woman?
Ariana: Uppermoon 3?
🏃♀️"I’m out!"🏃♂️
Personality and Traits
Okay, I almost forgot, but like I said, I'm no artist, so for the body base, I used 8asaki's oc for it (instagram). Hope it's not too much trouble♡
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"I'm sorry for staring, I just can't seem to look away." for Rulie?
Julie glances around the table, wondering why Flynn has gathered this many agents in for-it can't be a regular mission. So it must be a big fish, needing lots of coordination, planning, and manpower.
Then she sees Reggie enter-which means business. He's the agency's best assassin, and if he's been called in, it's not good news for whomever their target is-Reggie always gets his man.
He nods at Julie, offering her a small smile as he takes a seat further down the table. They've worked together before, and she's always enjoyed it-Reggie's professional, thorough, and actually pretty funny outside of the job. She hopes they get to work together again soon-they've proven to be a good team already, so that has to weigh in their favour.
Flynn enters then, all business, taking her seat and tents her fingers as she waits for everyone to quiet. Then she says a name that makes the room go silent.
"Caleb Covington."
She knows she has their attention now-Covington is a major mob boss, responsible for taking out a fair number of their own, and various other crimes. They've been trying to either get him arrested or rubbed out for ages, but every time they get close, he slips out of their grasp. At this point, some of the agents are starting to give up they'll ever take him down-hopes seem low.
"Covington is throwing a masked ball for all his associates in two weeks time," Flynn announces. "We suspect he plans on eliminating a few key players, or announce some new nefarious scheme. Either way we've never been closer."
"So how do we get in?" Kayla asks.
"We've got a hold of a lower boss in a stroke of luck-wrong place, wrong time," Flynn explains. "The higher ups offered him immunity for turning on Caleb and for his two invitations."
"Just two?" Willie clarifies.
Flynn nods. "We might be able to sneak a few of you in with the staff, but it's unlikely-you know better than most how Caleb likes to vet everyone working under him."
Willie shuddered, and rubbed his wrist-he had tried to infiltrate Covington's operations a few years back, had gotten pretty close, but when Caleb caught him snooping he'd broken said wrist, and it was only because of Willie's partner causing a distraction that he was able to escape with his life. Nick hadn't been so lucky.
Flynn placed her hands on the table. "Look, I know it's dangerous, and we're asking a lot. But we might never have this chance again. We need to get in, get evidence, or Covington himself, and get out. Total destruction if you get caught-no coming back."
That made them all sit up straight-there had only been one other target that had such a stipulation, to give up your identity and job to keep the agency safe. Julie was sure in the older days agents would have been expected to give up their lives instead, so she's glad that is no longer an option.
Flynn hands out folders, giving each member their assignment, and Julie notes that there is a copy of the invitation in hers, along with a fake identity, maps, and a profile of her partner in crime-being played by Reggie.
She offered him a smile, which he returned, and she made plans to meet up with him, go over their backstory, and coordinate the plan.
Two weeks later though, even with all their preparation, Julie felt nervous. This was it-the biggest fish there was. She smoothed out the slinky red dress she was wearing, the lining full of knives, and darts, even though it was still incredibly comfortable. She had straightened her curls and done her hair up in an updo, and put a fancy gold mask over her face. Looking in the mirror, Julie barely recognized herself.
She went to the car bay, where Reggie was waiting-looking very smart in his suit, and he seemed to freeze as he caught sight of her.
"What? What's wrong?" she asked.
"I'm sorry for staring, I just can't seem to look away," he said, then whistled. "You clean up good. Pity we don't get to really enjoy the night with a beauty like you on my arm."
Julie swatted him playfully, thankful the mask covered her mask and got into the car. They went over the plan one more time-they weren't going in blind, but once they entered the mansion, it was doubtful they would have any back up.
They pulled up to the mansion, and Julie sucked in a breath at the grandeur, and the number of guests who had a prominent spot on Most Wanted List. "You ready?" Reggie asked as they headed towards the opulent front door.
"As I'll ever be," Julie assured him.
"We got this," Reggie promised, and slipped his black mask over his face. "Let's go fishing."
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#6 for the kisses prompt makes me think of engagement juke 😭
6. Wild, breathless kisses brought on by a heartfelt gift
(princess x guard au)
*~*~* Solaria, 1845 *~*~*
Princess Julianna Molina of Solaria has never left the island. She spent most of her time inside the gates of the castle though rarely found herself promenading in the city to visit lords, ladies, ambassadors, or the orphanage. But beyond were strange waters and unknown worlds.
Her father said the sea creatures and pirates didn't like princesses, but still: at night, she wondered what else was out there.
Her lady-in-waiting, Kayla, came from the mainland Los Dédalo. She rarely spoke of her time there. All she knew of Kayla was the tragic history of her deceased father, the Marquess Caro, which led her to live with the court of Molina.
"It's colder," she once uttered, untangling Julianna's curls, "and the woods extend for miles and miles. They use brown brick instead of pale stucco for their houses." A gentle, foreign smile lifted on her thin lips. "And there's a lot of dancing."
A week after Kayla's quiet words, her father beckoned her to his study for news. A new batch of guards would commence on their grounds, of which one would become her personal guard.
Julianna frowned. "I have my chaperones and Lady-In-Waiting. I don't need more protection, father."
King Raymond shook his head. "You are seventeen years of age. Soon, you'll start attending balls and getting called on by nobility. I won't have your reputation be ruined because I was lenient with your protection."
The words made him perk up. "Attending balls? On the mainland?"
"Yes." She gasped. "But do not get your hopes up. The mainland has nothing on Solaria, the monarchy you'll rule over one day." A rueful smile twisted on his mouth. "Though I'm sorry your mother isn't here to guide you."
Julie placed her hand on her necklace, on heirloom from her mother, and tilted her head to the ceiling. "She's here, though. Don't worry."
Ray placed a kiss on her forehead and told her to go. Her large purple skirt ruffled around her as she went.
Twelve guards descended onto the island by ship the next day. Guard Lukas Patterson was assigned to her. He had a strong built, a kind smile, and no issue speaking to her whenever she allowed it. At first, it unnerved her to find a guard standing outside her quarters at all times, but soon he became part of the routine. Wake up, get washed and dressed, and greeted Lukas as she went to break her fast.
She was walking around the garden with her Lady-In-Waiting Kayla and Viscountess Flynn, when she peeked over her shoulder at Lukas shadowing them a couple feet back. Before she realised what she was doing, a question sprung from her tongue.
"May I ask how old you are, Guard?"
His brows raised in surprise. From her periphery, she felt the confusion of her friends. "Eighteen, Princess," he replied.
"Isn't that young to be a guard?"
"We start training at thirteen."
A curious smile lifted on her lips. Thirteen? At thirteen, she was learning Latin, Italian and Greek, was called a genius on the pianoforte by her governess, and had her hair trimmed for the first time in her life. She couldn't imagine a life so different from hers.
The conversation should end there, but instead she continued, her interest piqued. "Is it hard? Training?" She nodded at the sword in its sheath draped around his hips.
"Julie," Flynn whispered, gently reaching for her elbow. "Perhaps we should walk another lap."
The words had a sheen of warning. It wasn't a request. Flynn was perhaps the only woman of nobility that didn't oblige to every of Julianna's whims. The princess nodded and turned away from the guard.
Her curiosity was often chastised as a child. Princesses didn't need to know things that didn't concern them. Professors taught her politics, history and geography, but the moment she begged for personal anecdotes or an odd detail, the books slammed shut. At least she had her pianoforte. Then, she could escape into her own imagination and create the most beautiful compositions.
Later that evening, she sat alone in the grande library, curled into a velvet couch while reading with candlelight. But she couldn't focus. Outside the mahogany doors, Lukas stood still, alert and waiting for her to make a move.
Would it be improper to invite him inside? Nothing would happen. Julie just wanted to talk, listen to his years of training.
And so, she did.
Tiptoeing to the door, she craned her neck around the corner and caught Lukas' eye. He straightened up. "Is everything okay, Princess?"
"Yes," she said. A hesitant pause. She never broke the rules. "Would you... like to come inside, Guard Lukas? I still want to hear the story about your training."
His expression fell into an incredulous gawk, not at all like the cool gaze he usually sported. She withheld a giggle. Her guard was sort of cute. "Uh... I- I'm not sure if-"
"You won't get in trouble," she rushed. "I asked you, didn't I?"
Slowly, he nodded, lightly bowed his head, and entered the library. He sat down in the chair opposite of her, a little awkward, though seemingly in awe by the grandeur of the space and the buttery texture of the furniture. Her long hair was down and she wasn't wearing her gloves, but somehow, she didn't feel exposed.
"So, tell me about your training."
And so it began. Luke wasn't just her guard, but a confidante. He told her about his life before the Molina court. That he used to live in the uppermost province of Los Dédalo and joined the military to take care of his parents. That he made his best friends there, Reginald and Alexander, but that he called them Reggie and Alex, and they called him Luke.
Luke. It wasn't at all like the names people chose in Solaria. But she liked it. Short and sweet and it rolled off her tongue in a pleasant manner.
Meanwhile, balls had commenced across the islands and mainland. Julianna wore dresses dripping in gold and gemstones, her hair braided with pearls, silk gloves and glass, sunkissed skin. She was the vision of perfection; a wonderful dance partner, too.
Except much to her disappointment, she didn't match with any suitor. They called on her the days after a ball, of course, but none have her an easy feeling. There was no comfortable rapport.
All the while, Luke stood in the corners, the shadows, watching her.
One evening, Julie paced along the glass-stained windows of the sunroom in agitation, venting about the lack of ardent men on the dance floor. Luke listened while leaning against the wall, slight amusement on his face.
"I'll be frank: do you even like these balls?"
"I like the dancing," she conceded. "But nothing else. Not that my opinion matters." Julie sighed and plopped down in a rattan chair. "I know these are... quite luxurious problems, but it's still my life. And I want a love match, as silly as that might sound."
With a frown, he moved towards her. "It's not silly, Princess. I dream of a match like that, too."
That surprised her. If she was honest, she didn't think guards had dreams. Their lives were pre-determined, just like hers, unless they wanted to flee and be marked as a treasonous fool. "Really?"
The guard nodded, his eyes flitting from her to the lush gardens behind the glass. She wished to step closer, place her hand on his arm and ask what that fond look meant, but it was a risk too great to take. It was daylight still. A passing servant wouldn't be pleased seeing their easy relationship, and would no doubt gossip.
Pressing her hand in her side, she mustered a comment. "Do you want me to set you up with one of the kitchen maids?" she giggled. "Chef Gisela is a catch!"
Luke rolled his eyes. "No thank you, Princess."
"Please," she found herself saying, "call me Julie."
He paused. "J- are you sure?"
No, she wasn't sure. Her proposal screamed impropriety. Them talking in the sunroom like this, with him unguarded and smiling, shouldn't even happen in this realm of existence. But Julie never backtracked. With a raised chin, she uttered: "Yes"
Luke's green eyes shimmered in the golden light at her conviction. "Okay. Then Julie, please don't set me up with Chef Gisela." A smirk danced on his handsome face. "I don't really have a thing for redheads."
That night, she dreamt of Luke. Of that smile he sent her, of his eyes and kind voice, of his bold statement. What did it mean? She hadn't really thought about what she had a thing for. A man that connected with her on a soul-deep level, sure, but what else? Did she imagine a blonde or brunette by her side? Pale or dark skin? One with a culture similar to her own, or wildly different? She was woefully unprepared.
Tossing and turning, she came to the huffed conclusion that she had to speak to Luke further about 'having a thing'.
"You're not seriously asking me this!" he squeaked the next day. His hair was unkept, brown strands standing in all directions and curling at the nape of his neck. Something she should chastise, but it looked rather nice on him.
"I am," she stiffly replied. They were in the garden, away from the preening eyes of the court, and she busied herself picking flowers and placing them in a basket, in fear he'd see her plum blush and shy eyes if she faced him. "You don't have to indulge me, but I'd be grateful if you did."
He puffed. "It doesn't sound like I have a choice."
"You do." Julie straightened up and dared to lock eyes. Her hands folded together in front of her floral dress. "I'm asking this as a friend, Luke, not as a princess."
The guard sighed, looked over his shoulder to check they were indeed not being eavesdropped on, and uttered: "Okay... at these balls you attend, what catches your eye?"
"About people's countenance?"
"Sure."
"Well..." A zinnia twirled between her fingers, a pensive expression dancing on her face. "I like men that are taller than me."
"That's not hard," he jested. She stuck her tongue out.
She continued: "And... I like when they appear strong. And I suppose that I like darker features, like dark hair." As tangled as her thoughts were last night, as clear as day they were now. "Blonde looks so lifeless to me, for some reason."
Luke smirked. "Wasn't that Viscount Nick Dawson you spoke about a blonde?"
"Maybe."
"But there you go!" With a bounce in his step, he closed the distance between them and plucked the flower from her grip. Surprised, she looked up at his looming figure, her breath catching in her throat when he gently tucked the flower in her updo. "Now you know what you like. What your 'thing' is."
Her head tilted. "What's your thing? If it's not redheads?"
He smiled. She wondered if someone ever told him he had a perfect smile; the perfect ratio of lips and teeth and scrunch of the eyes. But then he dismissed her with a slight bow. "What I like is not important."
"It is! You said you wished for a love match!"
He took a step back. "We both know I'll be protecting Solaria until my retirement, whether as your guard, or at sea."
Right. His position as her guard wouldn't be forever. After she married, or went on her honeymoon, or the military needed reinforcements, or after her inauguration as queen — somewhere in that timeline, he would be gone. And no one would speak of him, as though a ghost, as guards weren't meant to be friends with.
Julie looked down, hoping to hide her sorrowful expression. "Right. You're right."
The following days were devoid of Luke. She didn't feel like talking to him. She never had to anticipate losing a friend before, and didn't know how to deal with it. And so, she spent her free time playing the pianoforte.
Her father noticed her mournful demeanour. "Don't fret, my Dahlia, more suitors will call on you when we host a ball."
Her fingers paused on the keys, a sharp sound piercing the quiet. A ball? The last one was a couple weeks ago, given the several engagements between nobility that had popped up left and right. Julie hadn't been there to celebrate, obviously, isolated on her island.
She frowned. "We're hosting one?"
He laughed. "Of course! And you'll be the diamond." His finger laid beneath her chin, his eyes boring into hers. "No one will compare to you."
"I don't think that matters, dad," she whispered, losing all decorum as hope sunk to her feet. "It's been months since the first ball, no one is interested. I'm not interested. I think I'll have to try again next season."
"At eighteen?" he stammered. "Your mother married me at sixteen."
"Lady Wilson married at twenty-one," she argued.
Father sighed. "Yes, and now she's across the world in a land with the coldest climate, away from her family. That is not a life I wish for you."
His voice was resolute. Don't fight, it meant. Without another word, she returned to the pianoforte, though her hands shook with frustration.
The night of the ball, Julie was a mess of nerves. The maids fluttered around her in the quarters, helping her into her purple gown and adding crystals in her hair. If her father's conviction she'd find a match at their ball, than he no doubt would chat up the mamas and papas with charming eligible sons. Didn't matter if Julie found them uninteresting. It was time for her to choose. To act like the princess she has trained for her entire life.
Kayla fanned her flushed face, concerned, to which Julie mustered a weak smile. "I'm just excited," she lied. "So excited."
The first dance had begun by the time Julie and Kayla padded down the luxe hallways to the ballroom. The double doors were closed, music and chatter and warm light bleeding through. God, she didn't want to go. She really didn't want to go.
"You can already go inside," she heard herself say.
Kayla appeared surprised. "Excuse me?"
"Enjoy yourself," she encouraged. "I just need a second to- to collect myself."
Her Lady-In-Waiting hesitated for a beat, eyeing the ballroom that lured her closer, before she sighed and nodded. "All right. If you're not inside in five minutes, I'll come and get you."
Finally, Kayla left. The servants opened the doors for her and she entered the ball. As they shut, with only servants that chatted amongst themselves, Julie had her privacy to take a breath.
"Princess."
Julie gasped. Twirling around, she found Luke standing in a dark alcove. Flitting her gaze to the servants, she ensured they paid no attention and picked up her skirt, rushing towards him.
He looked distinguished: a crisp white shirt and his gear polished for the party. Her heart skipped a beat when her eyes raked from his clothes to his imploring gaze. They hadn't spoken in weeks, but it felt like days, and yet, she had missed him.
Her conversation with Luke shot to the forefront of her mind. Her 'thing': that was what she should look for. A tall, strong man, with brown hair... and handsome features... and a sense of humour... and-
Oh. Her racing thoughts came to a standstill. Oh.
"You've asked me what my thing is," he whispered.
Julie blinked. That was why he called her? Glad the shadows hid her disappointment, she sought her voice. "I... yes."
"I just wanted to say that..." He took a deep breath. "It's girls with brown hair in pretty dresses."
Oh. "Luke..."
"I wanted to give you this." From his pocket, he revealed a strip of elegant white lace. At the ends, dried zinnias were sown on. Dainty and unassuming, but a fortune for a man like Luke. Tears welled in her eyes. Luke seemed flustered. "It's— I mean, I figured you could wear it as a bracelet, but—"
"I love it," she exhaled, "thank you. I—"
Surging up, she grabbed his cheeks and pressed a hard kiss on his mouth. He was frozen. Fear overtook her senses and she stepped back, about to exclaim okay, bye! when his hand gripped her wrist, mumbling a breathless wait and pulled her back in his chest. His lips locked back on hers. Relieved, her hands fluttered from his arms to his neck, settling there. His own touch rose up her back and stopped when his thumb grazed the skin of her shoulder blade.
Oh, no. Kayla.
Julie took a step back and found Luke chasing her, but she pushed him back into the dark. The servants would have his head if they saw.
"I need to go," she whispered in a flurry of excitement and nerves and elation. Her heart hammered in her throat. "I... I'll find you at the end of the ball."
Luke smiled. "Not if I find you first."
kiss prompts (closed!)
#i love anachronism so yeah julies dresses are 1840 to 1855 but luke has a late medieval style going on à la sean teale in rosaline (2022)#anyway#princess x guard my beloved !!#juke#julie and the phantoms#jatp fics#jatp fanfiction#i'm incorrigible
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Hiii dear it me ✨ I feel like it's been ages since I sent you something I've been super busy 🫠 and you know how when you have crazy busy periods and then it finally ends and your body collapses?? So literally today I had my first day off and I woke up super sick 😷 my plans were to sleep the whole day anyway so 🥲 but omg let's talk about the important stuff CHRIS AT THE POP UP STORE I'M SO 🔥🔥🔥🔥
But listen to this, two of my friends went to Korea to attend Baekhyun's concert (literally so jealous it was amazing and I was dying with the videos they sent me😭) and they planned to stay in Korea for a little bit too so I asked them to please get me some merch from the pop up store and they went YESTERDAY and got me the stuff and they flew home TODAY and they literally just missed Chris being a five course meal and I'm biting my fist JUST IMAGINE 🗣️🗣️🗣️
But anyway 🧍🏻♀️lmao, so how have you been? Did you get any merch?
- 🍒
hi hi bb!!!
i'm sorry to hear you're sick ))): but the same thing happens to me all the time 😭 as soon as i get some time to rest it's like my body goes: aight, now you can deal with this shit and fucks me up lol
hope you feel better soon!!
Chris looked SO adorable at the store, especially with his lil guy in his pocket. it was take your son to work day, clearly lol
too bad for your friends tho 🧍♀️ that sucks sdkfjhsdkf
i preordered a few skzoos 🙊 i couldn't just pass up this opportunity when this concept was made specifically for me. like, magic??? purple??? the skzoos are wearing liddle capes?????? sign me the fuck up. i won't be getting them any time soon tho 😭 i was told they'll be here sometime by the end of JULY...... so i've got quite the bit of waiting time ahead.....
what about you??? what did you get??? 🥰
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I posted 2,206 times in 2022
That's 372 more posts than 2021!
1,047 posts created (47%)
1,159 posts reblogged (53%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@threewolfboon
@barbwritesstuff
@thebibliosphere
@weirdwerewolf-deactivated
@unpretty
I tagged 136 of my posts in 2022
#fanart - 10 posts
#which celebs give you paranormal vibes? - 8 posts
#not werewolves - 7 posts
#oc - 6 posts
#werewolves - 6 posts
#for the sergi fanclub - 6 posts
#youtube - 6 posts
#submission - 5 posts
#writing - 5 posts
#werewolf - 5 posts
Longest Tag: 111 characters
#i had to make some aggressive editoral changes to my first book both before and after signing with my publisher
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I made a fake Classic Penguin Books cover for Blood Moon. No one liked it over on twitter, so now I'm giving it to you, a much more deserving audience.
I am an artist.
270 notes - Posted July 8, 2022
#4
414 notes - Posted March 26, 2022
#3
A Sad but Happy but Sad Update
Hello everyone. I hope you’re all having a wonderful evening and that the full moon is shining as brightly and beautifully where you are as it is here.
This full moon is a bitter sweet one for me. After close to two years of development, Blood Moon is finished. It is time to submit it to Hosted Games. That, unfortunately, means it’s also time to take down the public demo. I have removed the game from Dashingdon and will send the files to Hosted Games, hopefully soon (there are still a few pieces of art I’m waiting for, but I don't think that will take too long).
I wish I had more to say but I’m a little lost for words right now… I suppose I’ll just say what I always say, which is thank you. This community has been absolutely incredible and I couldn’t be more grateful for all the help and support I’ve received over the last couple of years. Without this community, Blood Moon would not be the game it is today.
Thank you for playing. I hope you’ve enjoyed your time running with wolves. I couldn’t have asked for a better pack of players.
🐺💙
In the meantime, I hope you guys will stick around. You can find me in all the usual places.
My email is BarbaraTrueloveWrites[at]gmail[dot]com.
My Twitter is @barbwritesstuff
If you like, you can support me either by leaving a tip on KoFi page or by buying my book, Crying Wolf by Barbara Truelove.
Next full moon I'd like to do a little cover reveal for Blood Moon's cover art. I hope to see you guys around for that. I'd also like to share some other writing projects I'm working on, if anyone is interested in that.
Oh and... eh... the final word count for Blood Moon is 442,290 (excluding commands). If you're wondering where those extra words come from... it's because I caved to all the anon messages and gave Sergi a sex scene. You just can't read it yet. Sorry about that.
453 notes - Posted September 10, 2022
#2
Okay... so I've been thinking... werewolf slang.
What are some words or phrases that you think werewolves would use? Here's some ideas I've had:
"Stray" - a werewolf without a pack. Eg, 'There is a stray wandering around the edge of our territory'.
"Moon mad" - a werewolf who goes totally berserk under the light of the full moon. Eg, 'Some of us just can't control anymore, especially in old age. My old man went moon mad near the end.'
"Showing fur" - to transform either fully or partially into wolf form. Eg, 'Frank had to leave quick. He got angry and started showing fur.'
"Pup" - a minor insult typically coming from an older werewolf and directed at a younger one. Eg, 'Back up a step, pup. You're out of line'.
"Cub" - a werewolf child. Similar to the human word 'kid'. Eg, "Who's going to pick the cubs up from school?"
Feel free to add your own! I want this post to turn into a werewolf urban dictionary.
See the full post
894 notes - Posted February 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
9,304 notes - Posted April 22, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#Tumblr roasting me for not knowing how to tag#The shame of 2 of my top 5s being reposts#I'm so sorry
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Retiring from Miraculous
Hello everyone, so if you all saw my recent post or if you saw my post on my main blog, I announced that I will be officially retiring from the Miraculous fandom as well as the show for good.
I'm really sorry to those who followed me and only liked me for Miraculous content, but after hearing about how the recent episodes of Miraculous have been (*coughDerisioncough*), I don't see the show improving or getting better anytime soon nor do I see myself enjoying it the more it continues. Especially with how the recent season has been nothing but: Multiple retcons, terrible character development, scenes cut from the final version for the most stupidest reasons ever and to make the show have bigger plot holes than ever, inconsistent writing, and lackluster plots, I really don't see myself following through with it anymore.
However,
I won't be officially retiring at the moment!
Yep, even though I do plan on retiring from Miraculous, I won't do it for a long time for these 5 reasons:
I wanna rewatch the entire series until I start on S5 since I'm waiting for the whole season to drop at once. I mainly wanna see what still holds up and what doesn't after these 8 and a half years the show has run for. (And I think we can all agree which ones didn't age the best)
I mainly wanna watch S5 to see if I can use it as a rewrite for some of my AUs; mainly The Lost Miraculous. I know this one might be tricky to do since from what I heard, S5 did retcon a lot of characters and plots, so I'm not entirely sure if I can rewrite the whole season, but I do plan to add a few new elements to my rewrite if I ever do.
Speaking of AUs, that's another reason why I won't retire immediately from the show: I'm still hoping to use it as a source of inspiration for my AUs as I still wish to write them. Mainly The Queen Bee and the Vesperia, The Lost Miraculous, The Undercover Tales of Rena Furtive and Invisible Hornet, The Bee Sisters Duo!, Bug and Wasp Game, A Fox and Her Club, and more!
I'm incredibly excited for the Awakening movie coming out this July, and I do hope that it will at least be one last hope for the show to get better. If not, then I guess we can call that one the real canon while ignoring the show itself, LOL.
I still wanna post some of my views on Chloe and Zoe themselves.
All in all, while I won't necessarily retire from the show permanently (as of now), I will be saying goodbye to it as time goes by because it's about time I move on and start looking through other shows that have similar Magical Girl themes.
Speaking of which, I made a poll on my main blog asking people what should be the next Magical Girl show I should try while I wait to end my time with Miraculous, and when I cut ties with it. If you wish to vote, please click right here.
Alrighty, that's all I have to say for now. Please be on the lookout for any upcoming stories from me and please remember to follow my 3 other blogs:
@muggle-born-princess (Main Blog)
@princessgemsart (Art Blog)
@pens-and-gems (Writing Blog)
Have a fantastic Sunday everyone or whatever day it is in your region LOL
BUZZ ON!
#miraculous ladybug#announcement#blog announcement#the queen bee and the vesperia#the lost miraculous#the lost miraculous AU#the undercover tales of rena furtive and invisible hornet#the bee sisters duo!#bug and wasp game#a fox and her club#AUs#Miraculous AUs#chloe bourgeois#queen bee#zoe lee#vesperia#marinette dupain cheng#ladybug#alya cesaire#rena rouge#rena furtive#lila rossi#volpina#sabrina raincomprix#miss. hound#gabriel agreste#hawk moth#shadowmoth#nathalie sancoeur#mayura
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Claire Wineland and The Single Story
Chimamanda Adichie often writes about and speaks on “The dangers of the single story” which is writing that doesn't reflect a whole community of people. Adichie talks about how when her roommate in college heard she was from Africa the roommate thought she didn't know how to use a stove. This made me think of one of my favorite motivational speakers who had several TED Talks talking about her own experiences of being pigeonholed into someone's idea of you, this is Claire Wineland. She and I have both had very similar experiences with our own “single story.” When you are disabled or chronically ill people will often feel sorry for you because they think your life can't be as good as somebody who isn't disabled or chronically ill and it can really start to mess with your head if you're not careful. This is our “single story”
“People meet you and the first thing they say is “I’m so sorry for you.” And that starts to lodge in the back of your brain. You start to feel like maybe there’s something wrong with me. Maybe I’m not living a good life. Maybe my life is just innately not as good as everyone else’s. Maybe I can’t contribute something into the world because I genuinely, like, am not capable of it. Maybe that’s why there’s not people who are sick contributing beautiful things. Because it’s not possible.” (Wineland 2018)
When I write, speak or just go out into the world I hope to refute this story because it is not the only story disabled people have. Like Adichie when she was visiting Mexico, I can understand where this one story comes from. It is constantly perpetuated in the media that disabled people are either weak and dirty recluses or forever naive with a child-like mindset. But this is not the only story surrounding disabled people there are so many stories that people just don't see. When Claire was alive she did so much, from surviving a coma at the age of 13, to starting a non-profit, to getting a documentary made about her after her death. In the 21 years that she lived she accomplished more than most people three times her age, but if people met her on the street they would never expect that.
I think people who are victims of single stories often internalize them. I wonder if Adichie did as well? Did she ever not feel “African Enough” or like she was the “wrong kind of African” like she wrote about? Like Claire, I also struggled with wondering if I was living my life the wrong way. People would come up to me and automatically assume that my life was horrible and look so sad when they looked at me. I internalized this for a long time and it felt uncomfortable, it didn't really feel like me but I didn't know how else to deal with these emotions that other people put on me. Until the day I started actively rejecting them. I'm not going to say that it happened overnight, it was more of a gradual shift and it definitely took work but once I got to the point where I was actively confronting people who would try to Pity Me I knew that this single story was not my story. Thanks, Claire and Chimamanda for reminding me that I can write my own story no matter what anybody says.
References
Adichie, C. N. (2009, October 7). The danger of a single story.
Wineland, C. [@TEDx]. (2017, July 19). Don’t wait to be healed to start serving humanity | Claire Wineland | TEDxCardiffbytheSea. Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH3m1OSiOT0
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𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫
- date - August 27th, 2012 -
I wished things were different for once.
Minki was a boy without hope. Yet he was loving, he hugged, took care of, and cherished people he was around. Always smiling, having the time of his life. But that wasn’t the truth. He was lonely....
His family were businesspeople and put their work was first over everything. That included him. He got accustomed to this lifestyle very young, until he got to school. He saw all these kids, same age, same hair, same eye color, have what he wanted.
love
He always wondered and asked is there something wrong with me? Am I not enough? Look at me for once. Please...love me.
Yet his parents never gave him a glance. Only love he got was from his friends who didn’t last long in his life as he moved every year because of his parents’ jobs. He grew accustomed to this too, nothing new. Then it was his eighth birthday he didn’t know why but, he didn’t feel good. He felt dizzy and heavy, he couldn’t make out what was happening to him. All he could remember was falling asleep hear a yell from his nanny who was taking care of him. Then his body feeling even more heavy, too weak to open his eyes too weak to speak, all he could hear was a deep voice, seemingly like a male. Disappointed that it wasn’t his fathers, but he could hear the level of concern.
“He....he won’t make it past 14, I’m sorry.”
He didn’t know what he exactly meant but he knew it wasn’t good he couldn’t help but cry quietly as he heard the wails of his nanny who he quickly recognized. As he got older, he quickly understood what that doctor meant, realizing this he didn’t cry, he didn’t ask why this was happening to him, he accepted it like every other thing in his life. Around his 12th birthday he asked if he couldn’t stay in Seoul South Korea to purse music. It was his wish, his parents felt like they didn’t have a reason to say no, not like they really cared. So, he moved to the city where his nanny also followed for legal reasons.
He wished to come to Korea to hone a skill and be able to play music as he felt like that’s the only thing he had control over. Flicking the strings on the guitar, playing any melody he wants to his biding.
As he came into the new school feeling at ease, his last chapter of his life is about to begin. He took deep breaths walking in seeing a really good looking guy at the staircase just sitting and listening to music like he was waiting for someone. He looked up quickly making eye contact with Minki making him feel flustered at the sudden eye contact. He chuckled and took out his earbuds.
“You new here?” He asked smiling sweetly. Minki nodded not daring to say a word as he was too embarrassed.
“I’m Allen nice to meet you. I’m a foreigner if you haven’t noticed by my accent.” He explained.
“I’m Hyeon Minki.” Minki said in a quiet voice, getting to know new people is still nerve racking to him.
“I’m guessing you are~ YOunger~!” Allen guessed, which Minki laughed at his antic.
“I was born July 16th, 2000.” He beamed feeling comfortable around him.
“Ah so you are around the twins ages.” He mumbled with a fond gaze. Minki looked at him confused.
“You wanna get to know the school? We still have plenty of time.” Allen suggested, Minki quickly nodded. Minki can so far figure out that Allen is older than him, at least a year. Minki listened and talked comfortably with Allen. Then they got outside into the courtyard going down the stairs Minki spotted a girl sitting, reading a book with headphone on ignoring the world around her. The wind slightly blowing her hair out the way somehow perfectly, the sun shining down on her skin made her glow, turning a little to see her eyes which wear a dark shade of green, her moles making her all the more elegant. She looked like a fairy
Allen looked to the side of him noticing Minki’s quietness, he noticed him looking at Talia which he internally groaned at, but he quickly took in that his stare wasn’t that same as the hungry stare he would usually see it was more longing, he contemplated for a minute then made a decision. Allen ran down the stairs suddenly which Minki jumped at as he could hear him call her name.
“TALIA!”
The girl quickly looked up to see a tall boy running to her full speed, her eyes widen as she tried make the run for it. But it was too late he got a hold of her and swung her to his shoulder collecting her stuff in the process, now heading toward him. He could hear her little complaints which he found adorable. Allen put her down and gave her, her stuff. Talia looked at the boy next her making a little bit of a surprised face not noticing him before being too preoccupied on being swung over a shoulder.
“Tali, I would like to introduce you to one of my good friend, Minki this is Talia and Talia this is Minki.” He said cheerfully. Tali was too stunned to talk first so Minki decided to take one for the team.
“Hello, I’m Minki nice to meet you” He said shyly bowing a little, Talia blinked a little rapidly trying to get her head back.
“Oh hi I’m Talia nice to meet you too.” She smiled sweetly which made him taken back at her charm.
“Well, I gotta go, Tali please show him around, see you guys around” Allen said running off. Talia mouth opened wide out of disbelief that he had the audacity to interrupt her reading just so he and take a nap knowing him. They made eye contact and burst out laughing. She hummed to try to calm herself.
“Come on, we don’t have much time.”
#nct#nct 2020#nct additional member#nct dream#nct 127#nct u#nct au#nct dream 8th member#nct 24th member#nct female member#nct tali#blackpink talia#minki
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ARB Birthday Special: Lola Takahashi
~~ July 30th ~~
“A wonderful dress can infuse a woman with confidence and inner beauty, empowering the way she moves and feels.”
Login Lines:
“A present? For me? Aw, babe! You shouldn’t have!”
“That’s right, it’s my birthday today! I’m so happy you remembered! *mwah*”
Voice Lines:
“I know it’s my birthday but I feel like giving back, after all, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all of you!”
“Okay, what’s the schedule for today? Hmm, partying, partying aaaaaand….more partying! Perfect! This is gonna be good!”
“I’m calling up Dolly and the girls, my birthday ain’t complete until me and my squad paint this town pink!”
“You know, you really made it in life when an entire city celebrates your birthday with you, seriously, they placed pink streamers and even changed the street lights pink! Isn’t that amazing?!”
“All of my modeling agencies threw me a surprise party! Even the girls I recruited sang my favorite song! It was adorable as it was hilarious but it really made me happy.”
“Hmm? Ooh! More gifts! Yeah, you can put them with the others, yeah, I know, there’s a tooooon, I had to put them in the guest room but even then it got filled up so quick. I’m looking forward to opening them! God, cleanup is gonna be a nightmare…”
“Sayaka!! Aww, thank you, sweetness! Y’know, you really didn’t have to get me anything, as sappy as it sounds, just having you here already makes me happy but knowing you, you probably already have something for me, okay, what has my special mommy got for me?”
“Wow, this is…actually pretty sweet…wait, you said you and Yoshiko worked on this?! Didn’t think she would sacrifice some of her dolls for little ol’ me. I swear, that kid’s got more talent than most people I know! Aw, c’mere! *hugs* You are the absolute best! I’ll come over later tonight but give Yoshi lots of hugs and kisses for me!”
“Okay, now I’m really excited for what you have for me, sunshine. You’re still not too upset about what I got for you for birthday, right? Okay okay, just making sure, so to be clear, you have used it rig-ow! *laughs* Alright alright, I’ll stop!”
“Sweetheart, you really know a way into a gal’s heart. I mean, the sculpture is fucking gorgeous and makes me look like the goddess that I am but the fact that you got my favorite drinks, my favorite pack of smokes and a pretty pink pocket knife makes it all the more better! *hugs* You’re really something else, Kureha, I’m really glad I met you.”
Sayaka Lines:
“Lola! Happy birthday, dear! It’s hard to believe you’re 26, you still look like you haven’t aged over 20! I can only imagine the envy some women have over you, how do you do it? Ah, sorry, I got off track, I’m here with your gift!…Aww, having you here makes me happy too, I know we didn’t get along at first but now I can’t imagine my life without you. Here, your present.”
“Do you like it? It was actually Yoshiko’s idea, I was actually surprised myself. I actually made the catwalk while Yoshiko dressed up the dolls, she paid a lot more attention to you though but I think it’s because she got to dress you up all pretty *giggles*. See? You’re in the middle on the catwalk and me, Yoshiko, and Kureha are on the side cheering you on!”
Kureha Lines:
“Happy birthday, Lola. Damn, time really flies by. Feels like yesterday that we…ah, nevermind. Yeah yeah, I got your presents. I swear, you’re like a kid…but it is your birthday so I guess I’ll let it slide. I still haven’t forgotten your “present” on my birthday but because I’m so nice, I’ll spare you…for now.”
“Look, I know you’ve been getting fancy shit from everyone all day, I mean, the sculpture isn’t really any better but by the time I decided to get you something else, it was already done so…here, another thing to brag about I guess but still, I hope the other gifts are okay, I kinda had to cut a few corners to get the alcohol and cigarettes and don’t even ask about where I got the pocket knife, I’m only slightly breaking the law because you’re like a sister to me…happy birthday.”
#hypmic oc#hypnosis mic#hypnosis mic oc#hypmic#hypnosis microphone#sayaka miyuki#lola takahashi#kureha koizumi#femme fatale#happy birthday lola 2022#alternative rap battle#arb
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Hey, anons, sorry. I’m not always on and I was asleep so had no idea I had gotten so many. ^^;
There are also a few asks in here as well that are not anons. I answered them here to hide spoilers.
Arval dialogue mentions from the moment of birth he has a function he had to serve. It seems he’s basically more AI than human, which is why he laments turning on the only thing that had ever made him feel true emotion in Shez to fulfill his duty to the psychopaths.
That’s what it is shaping up to be, yeah. Arval seems to be kinda like a base for his real self to awaken from. Arval = likes Shez, not!Arval = a horrible Slither man.
That Dimidue support.
*immigrant song screeches in the distance*
I KNOW RIGHT??!
Wait wait wait wait. No unification has 3(4) ways of bitter(sweet) endings, while unification had 4(3) (bitter)sweet endings. They fucking played us, this was a way to accept that unifying is the answer! Holy crap, I hope (god that game tainted that word) Korea review bombs this POS!
I know, it’s preeeeetty lame, although it seems like AG is the most non-lame of the bunch.
Still, I am so sick of “UNIFICATION IS BEST” nonsense. For real.
Play fucking Live A Live remake in July 22nd. Odio is a better space & time god over Worst Mom & Whipped mole weapon over any day. And you'll understand why he became a villain, while still defying him on the best ending. Holy shit this is gonna be a long month of discourse.
Ok. I’ll check it out then. You have me curious.
But yes. This is going to be a painful month.
I can see where they’re going with Arval now that I’ve seen dialogue that makes it more clear they were born and came to exist solely to fulfill their mission, but doing so never made Arval happy. Arval seems to be as close as we can get to an Agarthan who realized what’s wrong with the group, since he had to empathize and attach to a Non-Agarthan in Shez.
Yup, and I’m mostly ok with this development.
I would prefer if they were just straight evil and manipulative from the get go just because I think that would be fun, but this is fine too.
Dimitri and Claude now have enemies to lovers arc.
Maybe. Depends on what AG has to offer us.
Claude’s really not being a bro to anyone here, honestly.
the dimitri/claude convo????
Oh no what happens in the Dimitri and claude convo? :(
Oh no what’s wrong with the Dimitri and Claude conversation in SB/GW 😩?
What do dimitri and claude talk about?
Any more information on that Claude and Dimitri conversation?
I got like five different anons asking the same thing. But I posted it here so you may check it out if you like....
See that Dimitri/Yuri support really gets into why the whole "Dimitri's such a status quo guy" dumb take annoys me so bad, especially the ones that popped up after Dimitri admitted in the Three Hopes demo he wants to focus on stability over reforms. Because he's right! You can introduce all the societal reforms in the world into your community but if that community doesn't already have a stable foundation to build off of, NONE of those reforms will work as they're supposed to, if they even last!
He’s 100% right and I’m tired of pretending he’s not. His support with Yuri is really good, and just shows he wants the people to be a part of politics, not just the best and brightest.
Trying to introduce reforms without something to back it up is not the way to go. Shit takes time. People are stubborn. And most people will care about their stomach more than if they should be friends with their neighbors or who is ruling next.
Fix the basic things, then move to the more complex ones.
Is there any news on who Shez's adopted mom was? Thanks for all your hard work looking through the datamine
NP! And no, not yet. Sorry, anon.
My two favorites of 3H are Sothis and Claude and I always wish they had more. Well be careful what you wish for right because more just means hardcore OOCness and taking everyone you loved about them and spitting on it. Claude while I don't like it I understand he apparently really needs Byleth to grow which is kind of interesting but what is the deal with Sothis now what changed with her?
Sothis is interesting, because she seems to have awoken with more memories than before. Like, she had more time to cook or something. She’s more fearsome, but I’m not sure if I want to totally write her off just yet. That said, I’m not entirely impressed either.
She just seems angry. Which is fair. Her vessel is almost killed and she wakes up to save them, only to see something nasty (a Slither) and learning that her children are dead and shit. She’s big angy.
It’s an interesting direction. It could be done well... maybe.
Seems as a Nabatean fan I got scraps. I expected nothing and I'm still disappointed lol. A dumb question but, I know sothis and byleth kinda lose their shit at shez/arval. Is sothis's relationship to arval ever explained? Did arval have a part in her murder or the red canyon? Is that why she pushing byleth to kill arval? Or is it just never brought up again? Is byleth hair color change just a random event or is it spurred on? Sorry for this word barf.
Nah, don’t worry anon. It does seem like we will get some Nabatean stuff ie Seteth and Flayn with paralogues and stuff, but that’s probably AG only.
We still don’t know much about Arval/Sothis, other than Arval is not a god, and that he was there to fight Seiros. But she does recognize that Shez is some Slither descendant or something, and wants them gone (understandable)
Byleth’s hair is brought on by Sothis’ sudden awakening. Sothis suddenly awakens to protect Byleth and takes over their body instantly. Thus, color change.
Rhea blushing sprite is noticeably redder around her eyes than her other portraits, and AG cinematic is much redder in the same area.
Interesting. Wonder why?
The mind control is great for one reason: It forced Thales to confront the fact he was really high off his own farts and couldn’t see despite in 3 Houses all her blatant threats and undermining that Edelgard was NOT under his control. It’s funny seeing that now he has to use something to put her under control and by doing so proved he really was being an arrogant idiot.
I guess, but it still sucks. It robs Edelgard of agency, for one thing. Making her actions not her own undermines her character and those around her.
Two, why tf didn’t the Slithers just USE it before?! What dumbasses!
That’s how much of a threat Sothis considers Arval and how Byleth seeks to go BOAR in their own way. They’re the same after all!
Lol, I guess so!
Do you mind if I ask where you're getting all the text? I can't find it and would like to skim through it myself
I do mind! >:(
JK, anon, lol, here are the links.
>datamine
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1m4xHogOjhfdRYywACT-ZHuexdiskAkPSE45soei5zeQ/edit#gid=146160821
---
>FMV, Music and Texture Dump
https://mega.nz/folder/rmw3GRQR#yBKMCzPCEIwPWasrRfuPMQ
>Text Dump
https://mega.nz/file/vU5ESBwC#u5zwtxjC8ktoJOH-2q4wDJkexsBgplHtHr_g_4_wA5w
Ah I get the misunderstanding. Claude helps instigate Sreng to raid the Kingdom. Doing so causes Gautier to sacrifice himself defending the border
NOT DADDY GAUTIER!!!!
Come on Claude. >:( Ass.
Do you know whether Claude seems vaguely sane in AG? Like does he still invade the kingdom? The Claude and Dimitri fighting back to back scene from the trailer has to be in this game somewhere right? Sorry if you’ve answered/posted about this somewhere already
From what I can tell, he seems to be working with Dimitri a bit. But if he instigated the rain in Sreng on AG, oof, that’s not a good look either. I hope that’s a GW thing or something.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Mila’s sweet dragon ass, Edelgard may sound mature and rational in the tone of her voice, but I think this just hammers home that she has the maturity of a 5-year-old.
She’s obviously mocking Rhea but like... That’s really not a good look.
Edelgard literally believes that Foldan hasn’t been at peace for years. This isn’t even remotely true but you know, CHURCH EVIL or something I guess.
Someone got an early copy and the assassination of sothis’ character OOF, she’s downright villainous and basically took over byleth’s body https://twitter.com/chocobobutt/status/1539431608977170433?s=21&t=piy3Vjh0wIE3OA42OBIMdQ
@2goldensnitches
To be fair, Sothis just woke up and her new body was about to be killed by an ancient enemy.
But yeah, Sothis is kinda being a bit bitchy here. I miss old Sothis. :(
is it sylvain who says "Neither one will hold up for long, but if I had to choose, I guess the first option would be better for the Kingdom as a whole."? it doesn't sound like dimitri to say "we need to bolster our military", even though it makes sense for them to do so to withstand invasions and stuff
@garlandgerard
I’m honestly not sure. Maybe? I’ve been having a hard time figuring out who says what at times. But I think I agree with you. Dimitri saying “bolster the military” doesn’t really sound like him.
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Crush Culture
1 | 2 | 3 | 4
Summary: Lucy is your average teenage girl... but she's not, it's complicated but not in a "OH I'm actually a supernatural being" but in a "OH I have to get married as soon as I turn 18" type of way. Problem #1 she doesn't like anyone and problem #2 she might have to marry her dad's friend's son... yay
A/N: I’m back bitches :D here you go @vaniliens sorry if you waited like 8 months for shit but I hope it is good
Lucy lived in silence it seemed.
Her father never spoke a word to her, and the times he did it was always to criticize her. “That’s not very lady like” was tonight’s comment when she entered the dining room.
“I’m sorry sir,” she apologized though she wasn’t sure for what exactly.
“Can you change it?” Jude replied grumpily from his seat at the head of the table. It seemed he had begun eating without her. Lucy didn’t mind, after all it would mean a quicker dinner for the both of them.
The table could seat nearly 20 yet they were the only two to ever sit there, both on either ends and typically with no communication between the father and daughter. There was no “How was your day?” or even a simple hello were ever muttered between the two so Lucy knew when he began to open his mouth nothing good was going to come out.
Another thought crossed her mind: what had he framed to not be very “lady like” tonight?
“I’m sorry sir” she repeated again this time as a question “what is the problem?” She didn’t budge from the doorway of the dining room, her arms held stiffly at her sides. As she looked around she noticed a maid in the corner, dusting off a vase.
The maid wasn’t very tall, her head probably would have reached Lucy’s shoulder if they were to stand next to each other. She seemed young, probably early to mid twenties and her blond hair was pulled out of face with a low ponytail.
Lucy noticed the short glances the maid kept shooting her way as though she was only dusting to see the incident unfold.
“I’m sorry?” Jude replied to his daughter, she wondered if his old age was finally getting to him and that he didn’t hear her from the other side of the dining room. Lucy went to repeat herself but Jude swiftly stopped her. “I heard what you said” his voice was gruff and she knew she had made a mistake.
The room was silent aside from the maid shuffling around the room and the tapping of Jude’s foot on the rug underneath the table. Lucy tried her best to search for her words “is it my outfit?” She didn’t see much wrong with the outfit, she wore white button up beneath a simple blue cardigan. She paired it with a long white skirt and black stockings as the fall began to shift to winter. Her shoes had long been discarded within the house that no longer felt like a home.
“What do you think, young lady?” Jude’s was loud, an action that if she were to do under any circumstance he would criticize her for whether it was in a rude way or not. Lucy flinched when her father called her that, if he were to call her by anything it was common that he would use her full name as though she was a child getting scolded for being bad.
“I’ll change if you’d like” Lucy replied as her hands nervously pulled on her cardigan. She didn’t mean it, it was already 7 at night and if she were to change at this hour it would be directly into her sleep attire.
She looked down, trying desperately to find what was wrong with the outfit. She knew her father had high standards for her, maybe he expected her to attend their casual dinner as though she were attending a banquet.
“Lucy,” there he went again, not calling her by her full name. The action was more terrifying than you would expect. “You are nearly eighteen,” she rolled her eyes, that's what most of their conversations were about these days although she wouldn’t be eighteen till July and at that moment it was only barely November.
“Father,” she began without thinking “what does that have to do with this?”
He replied swiftly and bluntly “no suitor will like you if you continue to dress in those ways”
She didn’t like the idea of romance but her father saying that made her stomach churn. “Good night, father” she responded as she turned on her heel and left her father alone in the dining room with the nosey maid. Lucy realized as she walked away that she didn’t know the lady’s name, and she wondered if her father knew it himself. It didn’t matter, she knew all too well, her father didn’t care enough to remember, she was surprised when he remembered her name.
Her father yelled out her name as she walked away, his voice was filled with anger, but his efforts were in vain and she was gone. Down the long, cold hallway that led her far away from the dining, up the grand staircase that chilled her feet, and down the cold hallway leading her to her warm bedroom.
As she shut the door she sighed. It wasn’t a mystery why her father remembered her name, her mother had chose it after all
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12.8 23 Friday
1:52 pm
I went riding HOME to Cavite from MOA... Done, taking my intial interview and my test assessment in Conduent assisted by Ms Julie.
Hoping I can get in... The exam test is different again! It is somehow versant test, everything is recorded most specially your voice... There is a letter typing which shocked me but I was able to do it reaching 150 characters. I got scared but I relaxed myself this time and I was able to finish the test, thank God... No repeat that is the scary part, you have to listen attentively...But the voice command in Conduent is very clear... You have to read thoroughly the instructions for you not to have any violations. There are many questions that you have to answer spontaneously again... So, good luck and hope I can get the job in a lil while...
It looks like the test were made by an another set of lawyers again. You should avoid doing any violations for you to be able to finish your test smoothly or it will automatically stop.
Before taking my assessment test, I did a registration with Ms Julie on an another room, while doing the registration on the computer she said something " the answer in number 3 is NO". For a couple of times I was confused and I asked Ms Julie what did you say Ms? She repeated again, she said " The answer in number 3 is NO". I got confused, I said there is no SNOW here... Where is that word??? She said "the answer in number 3 is NO".... I said oh! No! I thought SNOW. ( wala naman SNOW na word dito ) I said sorry I misheard!!!
I will just wait again the mail...
2:25 pm
I still have windblow... Windblow... I'm thinking of money and job...
4:31 pm
In the house now...Still,having windblow... It is early I'm spotting already...
Thinking of money and job...
I still wanna perfect my nose and to remove my "deep smile lines"... I feel self-pity in a way...
How to exist and get Borgy but I have to work for me to survive...
6:15 pm
Grrr.... I'm learning to sing "Tonight is what it means to be young" I really love the lyrics awww!!! I feel bullshit I'm having a hard time but I really wanna learn to sing that just like my originals list of songs... I need to practice the timing and it is a challenge for me coz I did sing and I love to sing as my hobby sometimes my side racket...
The "Holding Out for A Hero" well Thank God, I can hit it with style... I'm able to give justice to the song... But I need to keep on practicing it...
Thank God for "Caroline Girvan" intense abs coz if not I can't sing that... I need to do my abs, in a healthy way it is my hobby and my personal challenge for myself though I eat but I'm planning to diet but I want me healthy and strong. Strong for Borgy ;).Though there will be love and care but it is important to have strength coz not only the lotus but there are so many other ways to exprèss the art of LOVE.
7:41 pm
Done,eating dinner....Still have windblow....I feel panicky on money and job...
I still feel jealous on things that I don't know that I must know...
Hmm... Windblow wants me to get jealous on Borgy for choosing other soul than me....Weird... I feel bitterish, a long time ago...
I badly need to get a job coz I can't exist and I need money... I need money to survive...
8:58 pm
I feel bitterish, this windblow wants me to get jealous...
I feel panicky how to get Borgy??? The first thing in my mind is to get a job coz I need money... I want to have personal growth.... I need a job and money... 16 years this windblow and being nothing...I can grow old in call center but a lesbian... A genuine lesbian if not with Borgy here... I want men to respect me if I say I'm a lesbian.
If not with Borgy here, I can grow old in the call center and get a leader position... In a way becoming my dream job these days... It is a challenge. I can be gay and I still wanna do a vanity even in call center... I wanna perfect my nose coz I'm aging already it is my self-esteem. I wanna remove my "deep smile lines" coz I'm super gay...
But if Borgy will choose Harley (my Mitch ) I want Borgy to choose in-front of me... This is a weird write-up.... I have windblow...
If being a lesbian means no men in our lives, strictly a something serious. I don't like a lesbian relationship but flirting with other men. If I'm in a relationship on a lesbian, I want something serious... But still not seeing anyone... Lesbian is choosy...
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