Almost Forgot [t.h]

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Prompt: “Don’t make me choose, I can’t do that to you.”

Summary: She almost forgot about him for breaking her heart.

Words: 1,064

Warning(s): Angst

A/N: hi again. its my second post in 24 hrs lol i hope this one’s better than the last. this is heavily inspired by Almost Forgot by Against the Current and this is my submission for @hollandroos‘ 15k writing challenge, hope you like it.

(gif isnt mine)

"God damn it, Y/N! Don't make me choose, I can't do that to you!"

"Why? Because you'll choose her?" With that he went silent, taking a seat on the couch and burying his face in his hands. He didn't know what or how to respond to it. Because he was in love with them both and wasn’t willing to lose anyone.

His silence felt like a clear answer to Y/N. She walked in to their bedroom and grabbed a duffel bag, filling it with most of her clothes. She took off the ring from her finger, placing it down on the bedside table and grabbed her phone along with her car keys before leaving the room. Tom stood up at the sight of her ready to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"Away from here." Y/N replied calmly, walking towards the door.

"You can't leave!"

She removed her hands from the doorknob and turned to him, "I can and I will. What am I good for here, Tom? You don't want me anymore."

"That's not true! I still love you!"

"You wouldn't have fallen for her if you really do love me. I'll be back for the rest of my stuff." And with that, Y/N walked out, the apartment door shutting behind her. Tom walked over to the door, opening it and turning towards her, who was already a few steps away from the door.

“You can’t leave! Don’t throw all of this out the door.”

Y/N stopped in her tracks and turned towards him, “I didn’t. You did. You threw everything we’ve built the moment you fell for her.”

“Y/N, please, we ca-“

She was quick to cut him off, “Goodbye, Tom.”

She turned her back against him and walked away. She picked up her pace before allowing her strong facade to melt away, the tears she had been holding back falling relentlessly. Her heart broke even more as she went further away from him. She went down to the lobby before heading straight towards her car in the middle of the pouring rain.

She unlocked her car and got in. She threw the bag on to the backseat before turning on the ignition. But she couldn't bring herself to drive away, as she wasn’t ready to let go of him, but she knew it was what she had to do. And all she wanted to do was cry the pain away, so, she sat there and cried. Everything just hurt.

-

“So, are you going to take it?” The real estate agent asked Y/N.

It was about two months after she had moved out and she had been staying with her best friend, Maddie, the entire time. She felt bad for staying at Maddie’s for so long, so she spent the last two weeks looking for a place of her own, not that far away from there, and found the one for her.

“I think I’ll take it.” Y/N had decided to take the apartment a few days ago, when the agent first showed her around the place. It wasn’t big nor it was small, but it was enough for her.

“Alright, you’ll need to fill out some paperwork first.” The agent directed her to a table, laying out the leasing contract of the apartment. Y/N filled the paperwork and wired the deposit for the place. After all of that was done, the agent left, letting her settle in.

The next day, she went out and got a bed and couch from the furniture store and had those delivered to the empty apartment by the moving company along with all of her stuff from Maddie’s place. There were still some of her things in Tom’s apartment, but she wasn’t ready to go back there and see him.

With all of the boxes littering the living room of her apartment, it reminded her of the first day they moved in together.

-

Tom was carrying the boxes from the hallway to the living room, the apartment door wide open, whilst Y/N was sitting on the living room floor unpacking, as there were still a lot of boxes to be unpacked. She had been sitting there for about an hour and a half and was actually getting tired of the unpacking and sorting, but there were still so many boxes that needs to be unpacked and sorted.

“That’s the last of it.” Tom stated as he shut the door whilst carrying the last two boxes. Y/N hummed in response, still unpacking one of the boxes in the living room.

He places the boxes down on an empty spot in the living room before walking over to her, “Hey, now that we have our own place, you know what we can do?”

“Tom, we have to unpack all of this.” She looked up to him and gestured around the room.

“We can do that later.” He grabbed her hands and pulled her up so she was standing in front of him. He closes the distance between them and kisses her.

“We have to unpack.” Y/N stated in between kisses.

“We can do it after.” He responded, trailing soft kisses from her mouth down to her neck.

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He responded, picking her up and went to the bedroom.

-

There were times where she missed him and wanted him back, as everything still reminded her of him and all the good times that they’ve had together and in those days, she almost forgot how he broke her heart. Almost. Because with the memories of what drew her to him, came the memories of what drove her away from him. She remembered why she moved in, in the first place, but that doesn’t make her forget why she moved out.

It had only been a couple months, the wounds were still fresh, but was healing very slowly and she still wasn’t ready to face the guy who broke her heart, even though some of her things were still in his apartment. Maybe one day she will find the courage to face him again and ask for the closure she needed to get over everything. She was determined to heal and move on from him.

But everything halted due to a phone call at three in the morning on a Wednesday, where she heard his voice for the first time in months.

“I miss you. And I’m sorry.”

Shatter Me [T.H.]

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Sometimes love just isn’t enough.

Word Count: 2k+

Warning: Smut like riGHT AWAY, angst, heartbreak, cursing, and this might hurt like a lot i’m sorry

A/N: My submission for @hollandroos writing challenge! It’s taken me weeks to finally get it right and I just really hope you all enjoy it. I’m currently crying because it’s taken so much out of me, as I’ve been through something similar and I couldn’t wait to get it posted. PLEASE give any kind of feedback okay? Whether it’s good or bad, it all means the world to me 🖤 /also I have never written smut before so just go with it/

The beginning is a flashback and the prompt is bolded.

❀✿ ・゜゜・．＊* ・゜゜・．❀✿ 

Heated, sloppy, open-mouthed kisses in the freezing rain. Tom’s arms dared you to get closer as they snake around your waist. Your hands run frantically through the little curls on the back of his neck while his palms traveled to your cheeks, their warmth instantly lighting a fire on the skin as he moved his thumb across your jawline. Your feet stumbled together as he guides you inside, barely making sure the door shut behind him before pushing you against the wall. Every breath was being taken by rushed lips and your eager hands roamed anywhere they could reach. He stopped, taking a second to marvel at your features and a few leftover raindrops rolled down his fingers as he wipes a strand of hair away from your face. 

Fuck, you’re so beautiful. He needed to see all the color in your eyes and the fire that still burned under them.

God, he is so sexy. His soaking wet curls were now slicked down and you craved the smirk that he always wore whenever he looked at you with those chocolate eyes.

You bite your bottom lip, breath hitched because he found the vulnerable spot on your neck that he knew so well. He kissed sweetly at first but the sweet turns sour with every nibble and suck.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, darling,” Tom’s muffled words against the fragile spot sent chills up your spine while his fingers dug into the bare skin that peeked where your dress had ridden up. He leans back to see your reaction as he moved them farther up and you arch your back, enjoying every teasing touch. You don’t have to miss the feeling of his lips for long, though. He went back to work at your neck, leaving a trail of kisses across your collarbone. He pulls your dress down just enough to continue over the thin lace of your bra. Then, gravitates just below your waistline and lets the fabric cover him like a blanket as he disappeared underneath. His lips pressed on the inside of your thigh so close to your heat make your knees buckle and shake and you grip the curly waves below you.

Your arms wrapped around his neck and his hands make a home on the back of your legs as he picks you up fast and effortless. With the cold wall against your back and Tom like a furnace around you, you hook your ankles behind him. His lips finally crashed into yours again but you accidentally bump noses. The uncontrollable giggles and laughter slow the pace, replacing the urgent lust with patient love.

He carries you to your shared bedroom and you slide down his body to sit on the edge in front of him. He leans his head down, cups your face and leaves the softest peck at the corner of your mouth. You smile and break away, climbing back on the bed wearing the cutest grin he’s ever seen, waiting for him to follow.

He can’t believe how lucky he is. He stared down at all your beautiful curves, knowing each and every one like the back of his hand. Like back, winding roads that he never wanted to stop exploring.

You stare up at him, letting your eyes wander from his pretty face and strong arms. To his torso that the white, and still partially wet, t-shirt showed off so damn well and then back up. Because he was smiling and there’s a sparkle in his coffee eyes that you never wanted to stop getting lost in.

“I’m gonna run a bath for us. Just come in when you’re ready, baby,” he winked, disappearing behind the ensuite door. Your heart is so filled with love for him, a comfortable warm now compared to the blazing heat that he had built up inside you minutes ago. You get up off the bed, set on being in his arms again as soon as possible so as you feel the cold tile floor and the thick mist surround you, you don’t waste any time. He eyed you, once again studying your figure as you slip your arms out of the dress and let it fall. “Like what you see, Holland?”

“I love what I see. Now get in here so I can show you how much,” escaped from his perfect lips and the corners turning up were all the invitation you needed.

You slowly put one foot followed by the other into the hot, soapy tub. Tom extends his arms and lets you make yourself at home against his bare chest. His fingers instantly start to play across your back and he swipes your hair to the side so he could better nip at your neck. With your head against his shoulder and your eyes closing slightly, he started exploring again. Across your waist and down your hips. Over your thighs and back up. He touched everywhere but where you needed him the most and you were getting impatient. You reach for his hand, intertwining your fingers before you position it between your legs. His knowing grin tattooed itself on your skin and his sly chuckle in your ear made you shiver. You moan when his fingers meet the aching nub, reacting more as the circles he was massaging against your clit got faster. He stopped and his index finger dipped down between your slit but never enters.

“Let me see you, love.” The honey texture of his voice is enough to make you tremble. Enough to shatter you into a million tiny pieces that all belonged to him. Within seconds you’re turned around in his lap and his dick fills you slowly as you inch all the way down, grinding against his hips. You thrust up and down as his hands grabbed and pulled at your waist. Your fingers smooth over the contours of his chest and you hug him tight, kissing his shoulders until both of you reach and ride out your highs between whispered ‘I love yous’ and racing heartbeats.

Now he’s looking at you like you’re a masterpiece with your hair a mess and wet, glistening skin. A fucking beautiful piece of art that he could admire forever.

Your palm rests over his pounding heart that matched yours exactly, and you wonder how you got so lucky.

❀✿ ・゜゜・．＊* ・゜゜・．❀✿ 

The thing about masterpieces though…

They’re not always beautiful.

They can be torn at the edges and falling apart. They can be left shattered and broken and begging for attention.

You sit back against the couch cushions, looking for any kind of distraction as another hour passes, shaking your head at the text still visible on the screen in your hand.

Had to stay later. I’ll make it up to you.

You throw your phone to the side, feeling absolutely pathetic. Tom’s excuses were always the same and you knew getting angry or upset would be a waste. You should just be used to it by now right?

Wrong. You were furious.

You know how hard he’d been working and god, you were so proud of him. But it was like you don’t even matter anymore. It had been weeks since you last saw that smile and you were getting tired of searching for the spark that just wasn’t there. All you saw now were dark, almost black, pools that seemed to look right through you. Like you were no longer art but a ghost that begged for anyone to see it.

You were so tired of waiting and just tired in general and you guessed you’d fallen asleep. It was almost 2am before he finally walked through the door. His keys rattling and steady footsteps on the wood floor caused you to stir though you wished it hadn’t. You weren’t ready for this. You wanted nothing more than to throw yourself into his arms. To let him relax after a long day but you couldn’t. Because somewhere between those whispered three words, you lost him and dammit you needed to know why.

“Hey,” his tainted voice cuts you like a knife and it takes everything in you not to break. Not yet.

“What was it this time?” Your question thick with accusation, adding to the heavy tension between you. “A new role? Some late-night talk show? Maybe that bar down the street?”

He was quiet, listening to you intently but still looking at you with empty eyes. He wasn’t drunk. In fact, you don’t even remember the last time he drank so you knew it was unfair. But you’ve felt so alone for the past month, even when he was right beside you, and you couldn’t stop the bitter words from escaping. “Is that it? Because you sure as hell haven’t been here.”

“Dammit, Y/N. I’m here now. What do you want from me?” Tom yelled and you could tell by the way his figure shook with every breath that he was pissed. He took a step closer, willing you to give in. Maybe he didn’t need this right now but you didn’t care. Because you knew that it would be a nightmare if you dragged this out any longer and you weren’t sure if your already battered heart could take much more.

“I-I want you to be home more than 3 hours a day, Tom. I want you to look at me like you still love me. Like you used to. I want you to hold me after long days and fall asleep with you instead of worrying if you make it home. I want to know what happened to us…” you trail off, your glassy eyes spill over and he reaches to wipe away the stains. You turn away but your cheek is still pressed against his palm.

“I don’t know.” Tom’s broken whisper the only sound for what seemed like hours instead of a few seconds. He leaned against the narrow hallway, trying to look away from the pictures scattered across the wall. They were all different but all had one undeniable thing in common. The two of you at the Far From Home premiere, his arm around you as the cameras flashed. Last Halloween when you dressed up as Spider-Man to surprise him. A selfie, snow fell all around you and he’s holding you tight to keep warm. You were happy.

You sigh, frustrated and exhausted. “Tell me honestly right now, do you still want me? Because if not... I can leave.” And finally let yourself fall apart. Let yourself break and bend, ready to beg him to shatter you because it would hurt less than the silence. You look up through your dark lashes. He’s still perched against the wall and his head is down. The long brown curls tousled from his hands constantly running through them, rested on his forehead. He slides down and buries his face in his hands.

He was breaking, too. Your words stabbing him, lingering, and he was sure that they would haunt him forever.

You kneel down in front of him, once again looking for that hint of light behind the dark brown. Like maybe if you saw it, everything would be okay. Proof that he did still love you like he used to. But it was long gone.

“I’m s-sorry.” Tom reached up to brush his thumb one more time across your face as a set of his own tears fell around you. He pulled you to him and you allow your lips to crash together for the last time. It hurt like hell but if this is what hell feels like, you thought, you would gladly do it all again.

“I do love you, Y/N. It’s just- ”

“Not enough.” You finish and shake your head lightly, forcing a small smile to let him know it was okay. That you would be okay… eventually.

Because he was still warm and he still knew about that small spot that his hand now rested at and he was still beautiful, even with tired eyes and a shattered heart.

He still thought you were a masterpiece. Maybe broken but flawless as ever and as he held you, he realized that maybe he wouldn’t be able to admire you forever…

But a masterpiece is still a masterpiece, whether it’s being admired or not.

Taglist: @hazsterfield @badhollandfluff @booksaremylife602 @yeeterbenjaminparker @starlightfound @holldnx @tomshufflepuff @jade7he9em @death_by_viola

Mutual Tagging: @tomhollandeu @starksparker @thelazypangolin @moonkissedtom @spiderrrling @spiderboytotherescue @petalparker @fratboievans @dtftomholland @prkerspeter @madmadmilk

Insecurities

Pairing: Mob!Tom x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1083

Summary: When a notorious mobster’s insecurities get the best of him.

Prompt in bold italic

Masterlist

A/N: So this is for Soph’s ( @hollandroos ) 15k writing challenge. Yes, I know that I’m very late and I still feel bad about that, but at least I got something that I’m somewhat proud of for the first writing challenge that I’ve done. Congrats again, Soph! And sorry for any errors, I tried to find all of them :)

Another late night, another bed for two only filled with one. Tom sat in his office filled with doubts that you made the mistake of marrying him. It had only been a month into your marriage and everything seemed fine, but his insecurities began to consume him so instead of facing his fears and talking it out, he avoided you like the plague. He couldn’t help but think that you deserved a better and more normal life than the dangerous one that he led.

You on the other hand, lay awake stirring in the sheets because the normally warm bed was cold and lonely. Finally giving up on finding sleep, you stood up and padded across the wooded floors to Tom’s office. After several restless nights without your husband, you decided to go to him rather than wait for him to come to you.

Approaching the grand double doors of his office you couldn’t help, but quietly watch him through the crack between the doors before making your presence known. You always enjoyed the sight of Tom’s curls free from the constraints of gel, his professional and stern character washed away, his clean cut suits transforming to an unbuttoned dress shirt and no tie or to sweatpants and a t-shirt, and you especially loved the passion and focus he held within his expression. A rare sight to behold and only a few people got to see.

After a few minutes of staring, you finally pushed the door open, it creaking as you stepped in and Tom’s head snapped up from the papers he was currently reading. “Oh, hello darling.” His shoulders relaxed after realizing it was only you, but he furrowed his eyebrows confused as to why you were still up, “I thought you were already in bed asleep?”

Walking around his desk and taking a seat on top of it you sighed, “Well, I was trying to, but it’s hard to fall asleep knowing that your husband is cooped up in a different room doing work instead of sleeping like he should be. So instead of waiting for you like usual, only to wake up to your side untouched, I decided to come to you.” A soft smile graced your lips as you stared into his eyes not missing the dark bags that had formed from his lack of sleep.

Tom’s heart warmed at the thought and he felt a pang of guilt for making you stay up, but his insecurities were eating away at him and the only way he knew how to deal with it was by pushing you away. “I’m sorry for keeping you up love, but I have so much wo-”

“Thomas, we both know that you can do this work later. You’ve done it before and Harrison has even told me that you’ve been working nonstop to the point that you fall asleep on your desk some nights, so what’s really bothering you?” You were all too familiar with the poor excuse used to avoid going to bed with

you and you were beginning to become worried as to why he was avoiding you so much.

Taking a deep breath, he realized he couldn’t lie to you and that you’d eventually confront him. You knew him so well and that’s one of the reasons he fell in love with you. You always knew when something was off and you were always the one to pull him out of his own head and get him to talk. “I just…I just can’t help but think that you made a mistake marrying me…” he tore his gaze from you and instead found interest in the hanging thread on his shirt that you wore to bed. As you opened your mouth to protest, he cut you off, “It’s just that, you could be living a normal life with a normal guy away from all of this danger. You deserve better than a notorious mobster that doesn’t even know how to talk about his feelings.” His voice began to crack and his eyes glossed over. “You’re an amazing, quirky, beautiful, and strong woman, (Y/N). I don’t deserve you or your love. I’m so hot headed and impulsive and hard to deal with, I don’t get why you chose me when you deserve so much more.”

A few tears had made its way down your face as his words had sunk in. You couldn’t believe that the love of your life thought so little of himself when he’s everything you could’ve asked for. So you wiped the few tears that had fallen down your cheeks and moved to sit on his lap to wipe away his as well. Putting a finger underneath his chin, you stared into the chocolate color that you loved and forced him to look at you as you gently spoke. “Thomas Stanley Holland, do you remember our vows? The ones we spoke at our wedding? Because it seems you might have forgotten.” You moved to cup his cheek and rest your forehead against his while maintaining eye contact. “I told you - no I promised you that I’m in this no matter what. No matter how dangerous it gets, no matter how hot headed and annoying you can get.” You both lightly chuckled at that. “I promised to never leave you till death do us part. I chose you, Tommy. I don’t want any normal guy because I. Want. You. From every chestnut curl to every freckle across your nose. From every laugh to every tear. I wouldn’t trade this crazy, dangerous, and hectic life for a boring, normal one. It might be safer, but if it’s not with you then I don’t want it. I’m happy as long as I’m with you, Tommy.”

Both of you were in tears at the end of your speech and Tom’s face split into the brightest smile. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have you in his life and in one swift motion, he closed the tiny space in between you two with a gentle, but passionate kiss. When he pulled away, you both held so much love and adoration in your eyes.

“I love you so fucking much.” He whispered against your lips. “How did I get so lucky?”

You chuckled, “I was wondering the same thing. I love you more than anything, Thomas Stanley Holland.” pecking his lips one last time before you guys went to bed to finally get some much needed rest in each others arms.

Tagging some mutuals: @starksparker @sweetlysilent @screamholland @bi-writes @hazhasmycoffee @h-osterfield @spiderboytotherescue @lifeofmarvvel @bookscented-candles @rileywrites-parker

Babysitting

I’m apparently on a roll today. This one is for @hollandroos 15k challenge, congrats hon!

Prompt: Fluff #18 “You’re drunk, and I swear I’ve never felt more in love with you.”

The evening was peaceful. You enjoyed the quiet nights in when Harrison would go out with Tom and his brothers. It meant that you could get quite a bit done. Not that you didn’t love your boyfriend’s company, it was just nice to have your shared apartment to yourself once and awhile. You had just settled on the couch, getting comfortable with a good book and some hot tea when your phone started to ring. You closed your eyes, and inhaled sharply, knowing that if anyone was calling you this late, it had to be Harrison. You laughed lightly, before picking up the phone, answering the call.

“Hey, Hazzy.”

“Y/N?” He slurred, and you groaned internally, knowing you’d have to care for a very hungover and potentially grumpy boyfriend the next day. Not that you minded, he always was willing to do the same for you.

“Yes, Haz, it’s me. Are you having fun?”

“Can you come to get us?” He wanted to know, ignoring your question.

“Are you guys ready to come home already? It’s barely midnight,” You checked the time, kind of shocked that they were done so early. You could hear shuffling on the other line for a moment, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“Hey, Y/N,” Tom’s voice was slurred as well, but not nearly as much as Harrison’s.

“Hey, Haz says you guys want to come home. Do you need me to come to get you?” You felt concern bubble in your chest, hoping they hadn’t gotten into a bar fight.

“Yeah, we just want to come to drink with you,” Tom mumbled.

“But, I’m not drinking…” You trailed off with a light laugh.

“Come to get us anyway. Then we can drink at home,” He offered and you sighed.

“Where are you guys?”

Tom told you where they could be found easily enough, so you grabbed your keys, hanging up the phone and heading to the pub they said they were sitting outside of. When you pulled up to the curb, you could see your boyfriend and his best friend sitting criss-cross on the sidewalk and you bit your lip to hold back your laughter. They reminded you almost of hobos and you shook your head as you opened your door. Tom smiled brilliantly at you, standing up to help Harrison into the car.

“How much did you let him drink, Tommy?” You huffed before grabbing his left hand. Tom grabbed his right and by some miracle, you both got him to his feet.

“Would you believe me if I told you not that much?” Tom’s wore a sheepish expression, like a child who has been caught doing something they know they weren’t supposed to, “No? Okay. Yeah, I let him have quite a bit.” You both put one of his arms over your shoulders, supporting his weight.

“Tom, I’ve told you, I don’t care if you guys go out, but this,” You gestured to your practically limp boyfriend, “Is a little ridiculous. I mean, I have to come and rescue one of you divs every other week. Is it too much to ask to control yourselves, just a little?” You strained your voice, bracing a hand on Harrison’s chest in order to keep him from falling forward.

“Hey...hands off. I have a girlfriend,” Harrison grumbled, trying to push the hand that was settled on his torso off.

“Harrison, she is your girlfriend,” Tom chuckled, opening the back door of the car to practically lay him down on the back seat before closing it and climbing into the front seat. You crossed behind the car, getting into the driver’s seat and starting it.

“Where are you taking me, ma’am?” Haz nearly shouted and you sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep my patience with him.

“Harrison, I’m taking you home.”

“My girlfriend won’t like that you kidnapped me,” He tried sitting up with a groan, “She’ll find you and beat you up. She’s kinda scary.” You couldn’t help but laugh at him.

The rest of the drive was filled with confusing and sometimes unintelligible comments from the back seat as well as giggles from the two drunk idiots that you were responsible for. You pulled up to the apartment that the three of you shared and Tom helped Harrison out of the back seat and up the steps into the house. You unlocked the door and followed the boys to the room you shared with the dirty blond, blue-eyed boy who you honestly were starting to feel like you were babysitting. Tom pushed him on the bed before making a quick escape from the room. You began to strip your boyfriend of his clothes, but he kept pushing your hands away with grumbles about having a girlfriend. You were touched that he was so adamant about not cheating on you, but it was becoming inconvenient to help him get ready for bed.

“Harrison, stop I’m trying to help you.” You grumbled, causing him to sit up and hold both of your cheeks in the palm of his hands. You could feel him swaying back and forth and his eyes danced around a bit, no doubt trying to focus on you.

“You are very beautiful, ma’am. Gorgeous even. But, I love Y/N with my whole heart. Sometimes, I don’t know what I would do without her. She is my best friend and my partner in crime, and I can’t risk losing her. Somehow I got really lucky to get her in the first place, I’d be an idiot to ruin that,” He managed a small speech around his hiccups and swaying, causing you to chuckle a bit, his words making your heart soar.

“Hazzy, it’s me.” You informed him, causing his eyes to light up the same way they did when he came home from a long trip away from you. It was the way that made you feel loved the most. Your heart thudded heavily in your chest as tears began to well up in your eyes. You had never felt so strongly about anyone in your life, much less had the feeling reciprocated. You realized then that even if it felt like you had to babysit him sometimes, Harrison was a complete and utter blessing, and you were so thrilled to call him yours. Caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t expect him to pull your face closer and bring you into a sloppy, drunken kiss.

“I love you, gorgeous girl.”

“You are so drunk, but I swear, I have never felt more in love with you. Now, come on. Let me help you get ready for bed.” And that’s exactly what you did. Harrison, of course, passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow. You, however, were tracing your fingers along his toned chest, relishing in just how lucky you really were to have such an amazing boyfriend as Harrison Osterfield.

The Royal Ass(hole) | Loki L.

A/N: So this is really horrible (because I refuse to say the swear word equivalent of poopy, even though this one-shot swears... a lot). I’m so sorry this took so long to finish, and it’s of poor quality as well. Anyway, this is for @hollandroos‘s 15k writing challenge (CONGRATULATIONS, YOU AMAZING HUMAN). Another thing that may add to the fact that this is late, is because I had to retype everything word for word from my Word document simply because my MacBook Air doesn’t want to co-operate with me the same way that my other laptop did.

Warnings: A LOT OF SWEARING (or a lot by my standards). That’s about it, let me know if more warnings need to be added.

Word Count: 3 200

Blurb: (Y/N) is one of Fury’s most trusted advisors and probably one of the most powerful mutants in existence. (Y/N) was also somehow tricked into babysitting Loki for his (hopefully) brief banishment to Midgard by Fury. Somehow Fury managed to save up the 50 favours required for something as drastic as this, and (Y/N) is quite pissed that she had managed to get herself manipulated into this situation. Loki helps her plan revenge. Maybe Loki isn’t as much of a royal asshole, but he does have a nice royal ass.

Prompt: “I thought royals were supposed to be... you know, nice?”

*DISCLAIMER: I DON’T OWN ANYTHING IN THIS BUT THE PLOT* 

“Sorry, Agent 21, you have to follow direct orders from the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.” Fury gave (Y/N) a smirk, and she just scowled. “That and, as we agreed, I have saved up the 50 favours needed for something so important.”

“When I said that 50 favours were needed for something as important as babysitting a supervillain, I didn’t think you would take it seriously.” She grumbled and crossed her arms across her chest.

That didn’t help. Her wrist was now in sight and she could see the words etched into her skin. Everyone had one. Sometimes two or three. Hers was just the weirdest. It read: So this is the mortal that I am to be chained to? So she was assuming that her soulmate wasn’t of this world, and that she wouldn’t encounter him, her, or them any time soon. She didn’t need distractions.

“Just do it. It’ll give you a break.”

“A BREAK?! FROM DOING WHAT I ACTUALLY LIKE?!” She yelled, before taking a deep breath and then letting her arms drop to her sides.

“YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THIS ISN’T AN ORDER COMING FROM YOUR FRIEND, BUT FROM YOUR DIRECTOR. THIS IS FOR THE GREATER GOOD.” Fury yelled back, he didn’t often yell, preferring to scare others with quiet and deadpan expressions, but (Y/N) and Fury had known each other for quite a while, they knew each other from before time when neither of them had even heard of Carol Danvers. Whilst Fury looked like he had grown, eyepatch and everything, (Y/N) still looked like a 16-year-old or 17-year-old, even if she was only ten or so years younger than Director Fury.

“Greater good my ass.” (Y/N) muttered, putting her hands in the pockets of the sleeveless hoodie she wore over her ‘super-suit’ as Stark liked to call it. He had designed it specifically so that it would contain her abilities if she ever got out of control, and she wore it as often as she could in case she did go out of control. It had happened once, and she was never allowing it to happen again, but you could never be too careful.

“What was that?” Fury asked in a menacing, yet quiet, manner, and (Y/N) glanced over to him. He had amusement in his eye, but his facial expressions were set in stone, mouth in (somehow) a completely straight line, and his eyebrows furrowed with exasperation. One thing that caught her eyes, was the fact that his one, visible eye was bloodshot.

“I said, I’ll be next door, send the idiot who pissed you off over when they’re ready.”

“I’m almost certain that that wasn’t what you said.”

“Too bad you don’t have super-hearing”

“Too bad.” Fury chuckled as (Y/N) slammed the door behind her and sunk into one of the plain grey couches in the almost empty room.

It was one of the briefing rooms, especially made for top operatives where they met Fury for their special missions.

It had two identical grey couches, no vents or windows, only walls and the one door which was locked from the outside. There was a metal block between the two couches, and in the centre was a projector to project the mission and reports of any victims, targets, potential suspects and whatnot.

It wasn’t very high tech for the reason that they may have to host a supervillain and this was where the superhero met their arch nemesis and things exploded.

She didn’t buy into that bullshit. She fought and survived, only fought and survived. Whilst Nick Fury Jr. may have saved her life, he also doomed it the same day. Sure, she enjoyed working in the field and finding challenges to defeat and obstacles to work around, always keeping her body fit and mind sharp, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t harrowing.

She traced the words written in a neat cursive around her wrist like a bracelet. Everyone had one. She knew, because the first time she met Fury, he had scars around his wrist. I don’t need a soulmate. They’re a liability. He had said. Now look at him. He made friends, he had a mismatched family, he had more liabilities than (Y/N) had kills.

And she had been killing for a long time.

The door creaked open, and there could be bickering heard on the other side before a tall, pale man was shoved into the room, his long hair reaching his shoulders and he huffed, chains were connecting his waist, wrists and ankles, making every movement sound like a thunderclap to (Y/N)’s sensitive, enhanced ears. She was born with something like the Super Soldier Serum, but a hundred times stronger, although she didn’t have the strength aspect, only the speed and enhanced senses. There was one last thing that she could do, and that was what she was known for. Manipulation of living matter.

The mighty Thor strode in, as if he owned the place, but (Y/N) guessed that’s what he’d be used to after being a prince for his entire life, and now a king.

“Lady (Y/N), it is a pleasure to finally meet you. Director Fury talks very highly of you.” Thor bowed as (Y/N) stood up, and as (Y/N) drew closer, he snatched her hand and pressed his lips against her knuckles.

(Y/N) grimaced, not bothering to hide her discomfort. “Please do not touch me without warning, lest you find yourself dismembered. And whatever Fury told you about me may be due to the fact that I am his best weapon.” She told him emotionlessly, before turning to the other prince. He had a look of disgust and indifference.

“So this is the mortal that I am to be chained to?” He sneered, and (Y/N) could feel the blood leave her face. Quick, think of a smart response. This is the person you have to be chained to for the rest of your life. (Y/N)’s mind raced and she panicked.

“I thought royals were supposed to be... you know, nice?” She responded with as much bravado as she could muster, rolling her eyes to add to the effect. “You are Loki, Prince of Asgard, trickster, silver-tongue, Rightful King of Jotunheim, and a royal pain in the ass. I know. But to make both of our lives easy for the next few months or so, please keep your trap shut.”

It was Loki’s turn to look shocked, and he awkwardly rubbed at his neck. That was when (Y/N) spied a messy scrawl around his neck, almost as if it acted like a necklace. Thor had a similar one, albeit slightly messier.

Thor gave his brother a knowing smirk before nodding at the two of them. “I shall take my leave now. Good like, Lady (Y/N), I know how had it can be to control my brother. Until we meed again, brother.” And he was out the door before (Y/N) could send him a message to stay.

She was so utterly screwed. And not in the good way.

“So....” Loki prompted, and (Y/N) glared at him, taking in his facial features and committing them to memory. Her memory was absolutely perfect, enhanced as well, she remembered every single thing and every single detail. And hated it. Fury didn’t know about that detail, but he had his assumptions. “You’re my soulmate.” Silver-tongue? Don’t know them. Loki cursed himself, he was meant to be smooth.

“And you’re mine.” (Y/N) said simply, and gestured to the couches. “Take a seat, Loki, and we will talk over rules and laws that you must follow.”

Loki gave a big sigh, almost melodramatic. “If we must.”

“We must.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes and took a seat on one of the couches, watching him carefully, memorising every part of him. The way he moved. Which side he favoured. The way he carried himself. His face. His eyes. His lips- NO. NO. NO. JUST NO. NOT NOW. BUSINESS MODE ACTIVATE. Loki looked amused, apparently having caught (Y/N) in the act, and she blushed, before tapping the metal box twice, and the hologram sprung to life.

She still watched him through the holograms, she controlled both sides, and there were two screens, one facing Loki, and the other facing her, as Loki had taken a seat on the opposite sofa.

She knew he was watching her openly, a cheeky smirk on his perfect lips. His scent filled her nostrils, and she tried desperately not to just inhale excessively. Mint and sweets, with a tinge of snow or rain.

She pulled up his documents. “This is what we have on you.” She said calmly, and he raised an eyebrow, pulling his eyes from her and to the documents that currently hovered in front of him. He flipped through the, not seeming to care at all as (Y/N) watched carefully.

“Most of it is correct. But I did not lead the army to Midgard, Thanos did. Under his direction, I was to take over Midgard. And then when I started to rebel against his control, he....” Loki trailed off and his face closed up, not only in the emotional sense, but also, his eyes closed, his mouth closed and he seemed to be in pain. (Y/N) analysed his movements, the small things. He wasn’t lying, she had been trained to find out if someone is lying, and she didn’t detect a single lie. But he was the God of Lies. Silver-tongue. Remember that.

There was a change and he opened his eyes again, they weren’t the cold blue they were originally, when he had first stepped into the room, but rather, they were tinged with green, around the iris and flecked with gold around the edge. But they were weary, and he seemed to age ten years in ten seconds, bags under his eyes that (Y/N) hadn’t noticed appeared, and his eyes were more bloodshot as if he had been crying earlier.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, I’m not going to press on that subject.” (Y/N) said stoically, reading him perfectly. He was prideful, of course he wouldn’t want to talk about how he was feeling and how he had been controlled and manipulated to do something.

Loki remained silent and picked at his left hand. (Y/N) noted that he 1) felt uncomfortable, and 2) was rather nervous, so picking at his left hand could indicate that he was fidgeting and wanted to be somewhere else.

(Y/N) watched him carefully, and he nodded stiffly, glancing up.

“You’re prideful and don’t care for outwardly showing emotion because it means weakness.” (Y/N) came to a conclusion, and he nodded again. “This is very popular in most of the male portion of Midgardians, but your brother is quite the opposite, he makes everyone like him by showing them that he cares and loves them, so that he isn’t weakened by showing affection, rather, he is gathering an army of supporters for when he needs them.” Loki glanced up at her, and tilted his head to the side.

“Does he, now? Could you give me an example?” Loki challenged her, eyes bright at the prospect of proving her wrong.

“Take myself as an example. There are only three people I can call my friend, or at least my confidant, because people either don’t know I exist or judge me on how many people I’ve killed. Your brother is one of them, the other two are Nick Fury and Tony Stark. Tony Stark is only my confidant at the moment.” (Y/N) told him, and Loki looked surprised.

“You, a slip of a child, have killed? In the rather protected environment of Midgard?”

“Protected only because I am part of the protection.”

“Well said.” Fury said, strutting into the room. Loki stiffened but didn’t turn to look at Fury. “Now if you could get your asses out of this room, I’d like to actually use the briefing room for briefing.”

“Fine.” (Y/N) muttered. “Asshole.”

“Bitch.”

“Cunt.”

“Smart-ass.”

“Dam right I am.” (Y/N) smirked and got up, dragging Loki by the wrist. “Let’s go, Icicle.”

(Y/N) marched him from the room, glancing down at the loud (compared to her soundless footsteps) manacles and chains.

“Are you going to take them off?”

“Nah, they look good on you.” (Y/N) responded and Loki quickly stood in front of her.

“If you are as powerful as you say you are, then you would have no trouble taking them off and not getting into trouble.”

“Trying to goad me into a releasing a wrathful god of mischief on the world?”

“Under the terms and conditions, I cannot physically harm anyone that my brother says I cannot harm.”

“No one ever reads terms and conditions in this day and age, and you only said physically, not psychologically and emotionally. As a silver-tongue, I figured you’d mare it less obvious.” (Y/N) glanced up at his face, then stepped around him, glancing over her shoulder to make sure he was following her, then realising she was moving with super speed. Oops.

“Hurry up. We have places to be.” (Y/N) called over her shoulder, and Loki caught up smoothly, as if she had never taken the lead.

“And what places are that?”

“Well, first of all, I need to show you around the Compound, and then I need to-” (Y/N) was cut off as Loki shoved her against the wall.

The wall opposite blew up and (Y/N) cursed the fact that the labs had been placed so close to the briefing rooms.

Loki looked alert and protective. (Y/N) would have preferred if he hadn’t treated her like a breakable doll, but the view from where she was, trapped underneath his body against the wall was.... DON’T GO THERE. NOT NOW. YOU NEED TO LET LOKI KNOW THERE ISN’T A THREAT, THAT’S JUST BRUCE AND TONY EXPERIMENTING. The thoughts raced through her mind in an instant.

But Loki wasn’t looking at the wreckage; his eyes were focused on her lips.

Uh.

She wasn’t trained for this. Sure, Nat had taught her how to use her body to lure people in, but she had no idea what to do with a soulmate.

“So... mind telling me what that explosion was?” Loki asked, his eyes trailed up to hers, but he made no effort to move away from her.

The words spilled out of her in a rush, she didn’t have enough time to edit them before they hit Loki’s ears. “Tony and Bruce are in those labs now, and I swear I told Fury that we shouldn’t put the labs near the briefing rooms, but the bugger didn’t listen. If you’re going to kiss me, then freakin’ kiss me, although I have to warn you, I have no idea what to do with a soulmate.” FUCK MY LIFE! (Y/N) thought to herself. WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY THAT?!

Loki’s lips pulled up into a smirk, and then they dove down to do exactly that, kiss her that is. His lips were soft and smooth against hers, which she was sure were slightly chapped, but she didn’t care at that moment, because Loki didn’t seem to mind. They moved slowly, and (Y/N) felt like she caught the hang of it. Sort of.

His hand slid to her waist and pulled her into him, as (Y/N)’s hands got tangles in his soft hair.

“(Y/N)?!?!?!?” Tony’s voice could be heard, and (Y/N) untangled one hand from Loki’s hair without breaking lip-contact and flipped him the bird.

Loki smiled against her lips and drew away, apparently conscious of what (Y/N) was doing (literally) behind his back.

“Fuck off tinman, I can kiss my soulmate where and when I want.” (Y/N) told him grumpily.

“Oh someone’s feeling grouchy.”

(Y/N)’s face burned up and she responded even more grouchily. “Just shut your trap before I shut it permanently.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Tony smirked, and Loki just watched between them, mildly confused, but very amused.

(Y/N) flicked her wrist, and Tony’s mouth snapped shut. She grabbed Loki’s wrist and marched away, Tony’s panicked, muffled protests were lost against the thuds of her boots and the gentle swish of the movement of their clothes. Seconds later, there was a clang, and Loki looked down to see that (Y/N) had released him of his restraints, a card in hand, which promptly disappeared into one of the many pockets in her super-suit.

“So, where is my beautiful maiden taking me?” Loki smirked, and (Y/N) glanced back, rolling her eyes.

“Well, since we’d have to walk past the rest of the labs which most likely only have interns and students in them to get to the living quarters, I’ll show around these parts of the Compound, and show you your quarters when they all go home.”

“And what do these parts of the Compound include? Private nooks and crannies, I hope. And a library.” Loki’s eyes glinted mischievously, and (Y/N) grinned at him over her shoulder.

They rounded a corner, and (Y/N) pulled Loki into her as they disappeared into a corner, concealed by what seemed to be a hologram of the wall.

There was little space, and Loki was flushed up against (Y/N)’s body, and (Y/N) smirked as the slightest bit of blush crept onto his cheeks at the fact that he had been so easily led into a small cranny, then his eyes lit up and he leaned in. (Y/N) chuckled, and pushed backwards slightly, and the wall behind her swung around, leaving Loki stumbling forward and almost getting hit in the face by the spinning door.

Scowling, Loki grumbled about pesky mortals and tricky soulmates, but followed her through the door, only for his breath to be stolen away. It was an indoor garden, paths wound around gardens of varying biodiversity. Some looked like they came straight from the Sahara Desert, others from the Amazon Rainforest. But the winding paths all lead to the centre of the massive domed area, a beautiful fountain.

“Hurry up, Loki. We don’t have all day.” (Y/N) ran back to grab Loki’s wrist and dragged him towards the fountain.

“Asgard’s gardens are much prettier, although not as diverse.... it is as if the gardens of Midgard have been condensed to this small area.” Loki muttered, and (Y/N) smirked back at him.

“Thank you for your praise, I do make sure my gardens are well-maintained and represent every place in the world properly.”

“THIS,” he gestured wildly at everything. “IS YOURS?”

“Yeah, well the space isn’t mine, Fury gave it to me when I started growing vines in his office, but yeah, the gardens are mine. The fountain also isn’t mind, it’s Tony’s, he just needed to put it somewhere.”

“So what’s your ability?”

“Manipulation of all living matter. Which explains why I could shut Tony up immediately, and grow this.” (Y/N) sat down on the edge of the fountain. “Now sit, I want to hatch a plan to get revenge for Fury for making me sit out of missions for the next few months.”

“Of course, milady.” Loki smirked, and the rest of the day was spent plotting mischief and making out. They would say they plotted more, but we all know they made out more than anything.

Not Easy To Forget

Character: Bucky Barnes 

Prompt: “If I don’t make it out of here, remember I love you”

Warnings: Mentions of death

Summary: Bucky makes a friend while struggling to adjust to modern life, but after a while, he wants to be more. 

Word Count: 5.1K

A/N: This is for @hollandroos 15K, congratulations! Also, This isn't heavily edited so I'm incredibly sorry for the grammatical errors. 

Bucky wanted to kick a wall when he couldn't find his tie on Saturday morning. He had made sure the night before that he laid his suit, the one Steve had made him get a few weeks back, out on the chair that lay opposite of his bed. The man double, triple checked that every part of the suit was laid out last night before he went to sleep. Yet here he was getting ready in the morning, but with no tie to complete his look. Today was important, he had more crucial things to be worried about than a disappearing tie. So after a look around his room once more, with still no results, he decided to just grab a tie from Steve.

Bucky made his way over to Steve's room knocking first to make sure Steve wasn't there. He quickly moved through the room, grabbing a black tie, right on top before looking in Steve's full body mirror and watched himself as he rather quickly did his tie, making the suit come together. Lucky the practice of tying a tie hasn't changed in the last 70 years and his metal arm had surprisingly nimble fingers. Once Bucky was done with his suit he took one look in the mirror giving himself a once over and flattening his jacket before looking to his face. His hair as tame as he could get it. But his eyes with deep bags under them, stubble still would have been present on his face had today not be enough motivation to do a clean shave. Bucky hadn’t been sleeping well recently, actually, he had not slept well since he had started trying to adjust to the modern world. As Bucky took one final look in the mirror, seemingly debating internally with himself before he headed out the door, locking it on his way out, thankful that his best friend wasn't home to ask him about his whereabouts. Bucky loved Steve with his whole heart, they were as close as family. But Bucky had been having a rather hard time adjusting to the modern world so fast, especially after everything he went through. There were so many changes to have to get used too, from technology to mannerisms and everything in between. Steve, was nothing but supportive through the whole thing, concerned for Bucky's wellbeing and mental state. This could get a little annoying, being treated like a broken toy, despite Steven well-meaning intentions. So sometimes Bucky would need to get away. Think on his own. Walking was always a good way to do that. So walking tended to be a regular thing for him. Multiple times a day, some days. Especially at the beginning.   And walking is where he met her. Y/N. Bucky had met the girl only a couple months after Bucky had regained his memory and started living with Steve.  At the time Bucky was not doing much else than just learning how to adjust, no boxing, no work, no travel. He had to go to a therapy session every week with a S.H.I.E.L.D therapist that got him nowhere. Early on in this process walks were constant. A handful every day to escape all the information that was being shoved on him so fast. Walks were a good way to take in nature. Something that hadn’t changed very much in the last 100 years, other than the fact there was just less of it in the world, which was an upsetting realization. However, there was still plenty to take in on the outside world as well as nature, Taller buildings, faster cars, New, more revealing clothes. He was never bored on his walks. Bucky had in deep thought about these things on the day he met Y/N and didn't seem to realize that his wallet fell out of his jacket pocket. Bucky assumed that she had seen it drop and, was a decent human being because she stopped him to give it back to him. “Excuse me, Sir, you dropped this” She called to him. Taking the soldier out of his thoughts and turn around to see where the voice was coming from. She came up to him and gave him back his wallet which he thanked her for doing. Bucky had assumed that was going to be the end of the conversation and so he turned to walk away. But he barely made a step before she had other ideas, and to this day Bucky was very glad she did. “Are you new here?” She asked, In a semi-quiet voice, as if she didn't mean for the words to come out. Bucky was surprised. With his intimidating demeanor, single friend, and lack of knowledge of the current world Bucky didn't exactly get the chance to work on his small talk. But here, was a woman, willing to talk to him, who knew nothing about him, a person wouldn't treat him like a bomb that's about to explode. Normal conversation was something  Bucky desperately wanted for once. So after some internal debate eventually, he convinced himself that talking to this random girl might be good for him. “Yeah, you could say that” He shrugged. With a hollow laugh. He watched her face as a small smile of excitement grew. Making Bucky's chest well. A feeling he hadn't felt in a long time. Suddenly he wanted to keep talking to her, he wanted to know what else would make her get excited. “I've lived here my whole life, so if you wanted I could show you some good spots to go when you wanna be alone… Unless that's creepy… then I'll just shut up and keep walking” she spoke going beat red in the face and rubbing the back of her neck. No longer making eye contact with the man. Bucky could tell that this girl didn't have a habit of talking to strangers and so he couldn't help but wonder, what about him made him approachable? But despite his question, he appreciated that she was also nervous to be talking and so he tried his best to calm her down. “That sounds like a pretty good deal to me. What would I owe you?” He asked with a small smirk, confidence growing in him as he remembered how back before the war he was rather good with girls. Her eyes lifted to meet his, the embarrassment that once filled them, started to go away and was instead replaced with shock and eagerness. “Just good conversation” She smiled at him. And that's how it started. Bucky and Y/N’s relationship, and from that day their relationship quickly grew. They met up a few days later and went on a rather long walk with her pointing out different landmarks, both famous ones and other ones that just meant something to her. She asked him questions and he would keep his answers vague, not wanting to unload his heavy baggage on her and scaring her away, as he enjoyed her company way more than he was willing to admit. In return, Bucky would ask her questions and she was usually much more detailed with her answers, oftentimes rambling too long, caught up in a memory or other, and then apologizing. But Bucky didn't mind when she talked, he liked that she was willing to talk because he was a rather quiet person, especially since his years of brainwash. Apparently, she enjoyed his company as well because when the walk was over she quickly blurted out that she'd like to do it again. And so for weeks every Saturday, they’d meet, walk, and talk. He found out that she works as a Chemistry teacher at Midtown School of Science and Technology. She has two older brothers and a younger sister. She loves watching movies and traveling with her family and friends. He found out more than he ever thought he would but never once was he bothered by her. After weeks of there Saturday walks, she asked him if he would want to go get lunch with her. It was at that lunch they exchanged numbers, Bucky kept it to himself that she was now the second number in the phone and probably going to be the only other number in the phone, ever, but he was okay with that.

Months of walks had ensued, only ever being canceled for rain, and if that was the case then the two would meet up for dinner or another indoor activity.   He hadn't felt, what he was feeling for Y/N in seventy years, and it wasn't a feeling Bucky thought he was gonna ever be capable of feeling again. But here it was, the warm feeling in his chest every time she smiled. The smile that grew on his face out of pure joy every time she laughed. Wanting to be around her all the time. To protect her, despite the fact that she lived about the safest life that he had seen. The need to keep her happy. Seeing her only once a week grew to be hard. It didn't help that Bucky never told Steve about Y/N and so he couldn't talk about this amazing girl, his feelings toward her to anyone, and it was killer, however, he reminded himself that the reason he kept his relationship with the girl a secret because he wanted one singular part of his life to himself, he didn't want Steve to worry about a relationship that might not even last. Bucky assumed that Steve had his suspicions about why Bucky would leave and come back in a rather happier mood than when he left. But Bucky respected that Steve never dug too deep into it. Without realizing it, Y/N also did a great deal with helping Bucky adjust better to modern life, never making fun of him for not knowing something. He could listen to her for hours rant about some new science article she was reading, or a lab she had planned for her AP Chem class. Even if Bucky didn't really know what she was talking about he loved to hear the passion in her voice and would urge her to keep going even if she felt she was boring him. One week, he remembered, was bad. He was getting frustrated, with Steve but couldn't say anything because he knew Steve was just trying to help. So without being mean, he said he was going out. But as soon as he was out of the apartment he called up Y/N asking if they could meet up. Needing to talk to someone about trivial things. That was the first time he had been to her apartment and learned that she wasn’t the best cook, but she liked to bake. It wasn’t very long after that when Bucky thought he was going to lose her. When he grew up enough courage to tell her who he was. He had decided that he had strong feelings for the girl and didn’t want, whatever it is that they had to be ruined later by her running scared of him and his past. However, when he came clean, told her about himself. It was as if he hadn't just revealed one of the biggest secrets in the world to her. All Y/N did was shrug and claim that she ‘Kinda knew’. Which left Bucky almost dumbfounded. “Wait, what?” Has asked shocked that she had responded so casually. “Buck, you have a metal arm, that’s hard to miss if you think I didn't notice that at some point, despite your constant attempts to hide it, then you must think I'm dense. You keep Your answers rather short, you don't know a whole lot about how society works….” She smiled. Taking a pause and rubbing her hands together nervously, as if she wasn't sure if she had crossed a line or not as Bucky was not exactly the easiest person to read. But she couldn't seem to stop herself from finishing her thoughts.

“Plus, I saw your face a few months back in the Captain America exhibit in the Smithsonian, and your face isn't easy to forget” Bucky had wanted to be offended by her explanation, but he couldn't be. He had honestly more relieved that she wasn't attempting to leave or ‘ghost’ him  (A term he had learned the previous week from Y/N) He should have realized that he couldn't hide the obvious stuff from her like his arm, or his museum presence. A small part of the back of his mind at the time was a little concerned that his story was in an exhibit, but that was a concern for a different day. At the moment he was more focused on Y/N.    He looked at her curiously. He used to be a Russian assassin, who's killed more people than he even knew. He was brainwashed and a danger to society according to, well everyone, why wasn’t she running scared? Or did she not know about that specific part of him? “You’ve never said anything” He eventually came up with, not knowing where to take the conversation from there. “I figured you’d tell me when you're comfortable. I’m not one to need immediate answers, we all go through stuff, you, way more than most. I’m not gonna bring up stuff that you don’t want to talk about” She explained, looking at him straight in the eyes so he could see how serious she was. Her explanation put a smile on his face at how innocently sweet she was. He couldn't help but wonder if she was like this around everyone or just him?   “You’re not terrified of me?” He asked. Smile dropping.   “Terrified? What reason have you given me to be terrified?” She asked, seemingly genuinely confused at Bucky's questions “Everything I’ve done” he responded, tearing his eyes away from hers in embarrassment. Someone like him, should not be with her. She deserved better than a monster like him. “I don’t know that side of you Buck, I got to know you before I figured out your super side. And what I got to know was this kind, sweet and caring man. To me, that's what you are, nothing else, until you show me something else.” He didn’t think it was possible but everything he felt towards the women had grown tenfold. So on that days walk, for the first time, Bucky did most of the talking. Indulging into his life story. Skipping over the parts he didn’t want to talk about. Y/N not seeming to mind at all. He started off with his childhood. Basically anything pre-war. The good stuff. Many of it memories Bucky had stopped himself from thinking about since he got them back. She invited him over for dinner. And Buck continued talking into the late hours of the night. He talked until Y/N fell asleep on her couch. She was the first person that Buck told almost everything too. More than he told SHIELD, more than he told the other Avengers. The only person who knew as much as Y/N now was Steve. The two had had their friendship for 6 months when Bucky finally decided that he couldn’t ignore these feelings any longer. He was going to ask her on a date. An official date. They were on there Saturday walk and at the end is when he had built up the courage to ask her. “Hey, Y/N… I was wondering if you'd wanna go on a date...with me tomorrow night?” He asked. “A date? Haven't we been on dates?” She asked-head cocked to the side. “No, I mean an official date where I ask you, and pick you up while being fancily dressed and we go to dinner and then another activity” He tried again, still with confidence in his voice. “Why the formal asking?” She blushed, giving Bucky the sign that maybe she had similar feelings that he did. “Because I enjoy being around you. You’ve helped me in more than I could even fathom and over these six months, I've had feelings, that I never thought I was going to get to feel again. I’ve decided that I want to act on those feelings and for you and me to have a real relationship. And I don’t know how these things have changed in the last 70 years but usually, a date is the first step in that direction” He rambled, trying to sum up all the reasons he wanted to date her, call her his girlfriend.   There was a single beat of silence, enough to think that maybe she was going to turn him down. “I would love to go on a real date with you Bucky. But I have a single request” she giggled. Bucky wanted to jump up and down in excitement like a little kid. His heart swelled and all he wanted to do was pick up the girl and spin her in a circle. But instead, he contained himself and nodded his head, telling her to go ahead with her request. “We have to set the date after I get back from this weekend” “Where are you going this weekend?” He had been waiting months for a real date, he didn't mind pushing it back a few more days and he hoped that his question did not come off as angry. “I have to go give a speech at a conference,” she said in an annoying tone while rolling her eyes. “How’d you get dragged into that?” He chuckled at her reaction, she wasn't normally one to get annoyed about anything, so this was rather foreign for him. “Apparently it’s ‘highly recommend’ when you have the best AP Chem scores in the state. It makes the school look good...I act annoyed but honestly I don’t really mind” she shrugged as she shoved her hands in her pockets. “Well that sounds thrilling” the sarcastic words left his mouth. Causing the girl to lightly slap his real arm. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s the most dangerous thing a person like me could do.” She spoke with a sense of fake seriousness in her voice. “I bet. Not like you’re talking to a person who’s been on more life-threatening missions then you could imagine” Bucky smiled enjoying the girl's enthusiasm and the fact that he was getting to the point where he could openly and jokingly talk about his past. “How dare you mock my dangerous task. You don’t know what I’ll be facing.” She claimed in a dramatic voice as if she was going on a secret mission. Bucky opened his mouth to give another sarcastic response but was cut off. “No, don’t speak…. Bucky, if I don’t make it out of there. Remember I love you” she joked with him. Bucky knew the words were only friendly but he couldn’t stop the warm feeling that filled his chest.   That was the last real thing she has said to him, other than the goodbyes before she left for her conference. The last conversation the two had shared. The last conversation the two were ever going to share.   As Bucky straightens his tie. He wiped away the tears in his eyes. Took a deep breath thinking about there last conversation. A conversation he could no longer find amusing as those last words were filled with unknown irony. Bucky looked at the little sheet of paper in his hand checking to make sure the address was right. RIVERSIDE BAPTIST CHURCH. He knew he was in the right place as he watched the numerous amounts of people walk into the building, all in black tie dress. Bucky couldn't help but let out a little chuckle at the venue. Bucky knew through there time spent together that Y/N wasn't particularly religious despite the fact that her family was. He couldn't help but think she wouldn't like this. All the attention is on her, especially in a church setting. As he walked inside and saw the setup. The picture, the flowers, the casket. His body had physically stopped moving, he fought back the tears that wanted to come out. It really had happened, sure he heard about, and read about it, cried about it. He thought he had accepted what happened, but being here. Seeing what was in front of him. It all became real, there was no way to convince himself otherwise. It made him want to vomit. It had been a car accident. On the way home from her conference, her uber had slid on some ice and flipped killing both the driver and Y/N. Bucky only found out about it because of the local news. The funeral had been mentioned in the newspaper and Bucky knew he had to go. Even if he wouldn't know anyone else or get to speak about how much she meant to him. If there were even words to do so. He had to go to make sure it was real. So here he was, looking at the casket of the girl whom he loved. The girl who meant everything to him. Now she was gone, and for the first time since he found out, Bucky realized that he really wasn't okay, the more real it started to feel, the more he wanted to leave. She was his rock that kept him tied down. What was he supposed to do now without her here? Bucky, forced himself to look anywhere but her. First for a seat, which he decided should be in the back of the church as he figured there were probably more important people that wanted to sit up close. Then he forced his eyes to look at the people who came to mourn Y/N. Bucky didn't know what to expect, she was the perfect person, why wouldn't there be a million people at her funeral? But yet the copious amounts of people that had shown up still really threw Bucky for a loop. Young kids, a lot of teenagers, who Bucky assumed were Y/N students and by the sounds of it even some of the more troublesome kids had shown up for the teacher. Adults her age, older adults, senior citizens. Bucky then set the task to try and figure out who her family was before the funeral started. The ceremony was nice. Y/N was talked about and celebrated, as she should have been. Lots of people gave speeches talking about her many accomplishments and community service.  Bucky almost fell out of place, like he shouldn't be there.  Sure he knew a ton about her. But no one knew about them, no one knew who he was. Bucky was never around for the important parts of her life. Sure he had heard about them, but he was never around for them. He wanted to be though. He wanted to be her significant other and meet her family, and be an important person in her life. He even had a plan to do so. But apparently, the two weren't meant to be as Y/N lay dead in a casket not 30 feet away from where the soldier sat. Once the ceremony was over everyone shuffled out of the church, ready to walk to the cemetery where Y/N would be buried. The only sounds were the shuffling of people and murmured voices as they made there way out of the church. Bucky waiting until closer to the end. He kept waiting for anyone to ask who he was, but it seemed that no one even gave him a second glance. Other than one of the teenagers who stood behind the pack of his classmates. Short with brown hair, couldn't be older than 15. He was standing with what seemed to be a friend. But as they carried on there conversation and walked past Bucky, the kid gave a second glance to the super soldier, as if the kid knew who Bucky was. But quickly the kid turned back and walked out of the building. As they all stood around the grave, Bucky near the back again, some more people spoke as before the casket was closed, Bucky decided not to look, he couldn't. He didn't want his beautiful memory of her to be tarnished by what she looked like dead. As she was lowered into the ground Bucky could no longer hold back his tears. The only person he thought he would ever care for, was dead, leaving him alone in this world, again. Why did this keep happening to him? The process of getting her buried was tedious, it felt like a lifetime. He knew it was selfish but he was waiting for everyone to leave so he could be alone with her like they always had been. Eventually, little by little, everyone trickled away, most of them to go to the reception, a few stayed to speak to the woman's grave. Bucky kept his distance, not wanting to seem out of place. Finally, there was just two left. Bucky, and the kid that caught his eye earlier. The kid wasn't talking to her grave, he was just staring with wet eyes. Bucky decided it was okay to finally walk up to the burial site. Next to the kid, but a safe distance away. “Was she a good teacher?” He asked the kid in a quiet voice. “The absolute best, you couldn't find anyone better” He immediately responded. “Are you just saying that because she's gone?” Bucky asked, hoping the kid didn't mind his bluntness. The kid didn't seem too. “No, Obviously you knew her. Do you think she would be a bad teacher?” He shot back. This question threw Bucky off, but not in a bad way. He appreciated the boy's wit. With a small smirk, he responded back. “No, I think she would have been a great teacher.” “She cared about us. Checked in on us. Would give the best, most inspiring speeches you've ever heard.  You couldn't pay attention to her you know? She was passionate about what she taught, and have you ever taken chemistry? It's not something that easy to get passionate about. But on top of that, she took the time to learn ways to get all of us passionate about the subject. I've known her a long time and of all the people in the world. She definitely didn't deserve this.” The boy spoke, tears escaping his eyes. Even Bucky could tell that Y/N was more than just a teacher to him. Bucky loved that Y/N affected all these people in such a good way. It wasn't just him, apparently, she was like this with everyone, and he was beyond glad because it means everyone got to see the best parts of her. Bucky just nodded his head. Not a word needed to be spoken between them, just mutual understanding as both their eyes stayed glued to the grave. “How did you know her?” The kid spoke, as he seemed to get through his processing, his eyes glancing up to the soldier, but not without taking a second glance at where his metal arm would be, had it not been covered by a coat and hand in the coat pocket. Bucky brushed the look off, telling himself it was just coincidence. “She was a... “ He started to say but stopped when he couldn't find the right words. There was no one word to describe who Y/N was to Bucky. She was his everything, but he knew he couldn't use that word. He wanted to say girlfriend, but that would have been inaccurate. “She was a really good friend” He settled on, wanting to cringe as he knew that description wasn't correct. The kid nodded. Eyes trailing back to the grave one more time. “Well, I've seen you waiting for a long time, I assume to be alone with her, so I'll go talk to my uncle and leave you two alone,” The boy said before turning and walking away from the grave. Bucky turned his head slightly to watch the kid walk away, confused about what he meant by talking to his uncle, there was no one else around. but as soon as he was out of hearing distance, Bucky forgot about the kid completely before turning back to Y/N. He stood in silence, just staring for the longest time, not knowing what to say. “You know, out of all the scenarios I ran through in my head about how we could have played out... Us dating, maybe getting married, breaking up, you run like hell after you found out the truth about me… Even the possibility of me dying came up. But out of everything, I sat in bed and thought about at night, you dying on me, was never one of them because you lived such a safe life. I'm sorry this happened. If I could trade us out, I would in a heartbeat, you deserved better. So, so much better. I'm sorry…. I'm so so sorry” When the words stopped pouring out of his mouth. Bucky then realized he was crying as the tears slipped down his cheeks and suddenly it became incredibly hard to breathe. Within a few seconds, he was sobbing on his knees, hand covering his mouth. Unable to keep anything in any longer. Finally accepting the fact that she was gone. Those were the only words he spoke too her. Yet, he stayed by her grave for hours on end. Trying so hard to come to terms with what happened crying stopping for only a few minutes, before starting up again in a never-ending cycle. It was when day turned to night, and the temperature dropped to below freezing, did Bucky even consider leaving. Even then it took him another few hours to even move. Eyes glued on the flowers stacked high on the pile of dirt that covered the women who held his heart. Only when Steve had called him, did he decide to actually go, taking everything he had to look away from the gravestone, and walk away from his love and head back home? No looking up, not feeling anything. He stood outside his and Steve's apartment door for minutes, not ready to face a million questions that Steve was gonna ask him out of concern. Eventually, he decided that he had to go in at some point and so his ripped off the band-aid and walked in. “Where have you been all day?” Steve asked from the couch. “What are you an overprotective parent?” Bucky smiled at his best friend. This caused Steve to break his concerned look, instead of giving Bucky a smile that took him back to the 1940s. When times were simpler. “I just get worried is all” He admitted throwing his hands in the air. “I'm good… I was… Just visiting an old friends grave” Bucky confessed to Steve. Memories of the girl, and what had happened to flood back into him. Causing him to let out a heavy sigh. Bucky watched as Steves' face fell again. Memories of his own flooding into his eyes. There was a silence in the air as the two were trapped in their own thoughts for a while. Bucky getting changed and joining Steve on the couch. Head threw up to the ceiling. “Hey, do you wanna bring me to the gym with you this week?” Bucky asks out suddenly. “The gym, I thought you were done with all that,” Steve said giving a questioning glance to his best friend. “I thought I wanted to be, but I need something to occupy my times, and I think I'm done with walks for a while… There's nothing there for me anymore.”

Lights On

Paring: Female Reader x Tom

Song promt : Lights on by Shawn Mendes.

Summary : Tom is in love w/ reader and is to afraid to tell her. Until he’s faced between loosing her or telling her how he feels. ( also I realize this simply has nothing to do w/ the song but I loved it and this is the idea that came when I listened to it so enjoy. Ps I apologize that it’s so short)

There she walked in. In his chalk white shirt. She was to adorable, practically drowning in his clothes. The shirt was buttoned up and stopped right below her knees, showing her underwear clearly. Y/n walks over to the kitchen and opened fridge. Tom smiles at how she hadn’t noticed him looking at her yet or so he thought. Just then she turns around and look right at Tom “ hey you’re like out of everything you should go grocery shopping soon” She says and pours the milk onto the cereals. She grabs the bowl of cereal and sits down next to him. Tom and Y/n are best friends and have been for as long as they can remember. They met in grammar school. They would always force their mothers for playdates and mini sleepovers. Then they eventually grew up and went their separate ways. Y/n ended up at a collage in Washington majoring in creative writing. Tom went to Juliard school of performing arts majoring in acting and even filmmaking. Somehow they managed to find their way back to one another.

“ what are we watching doucheface “ she jokes still holding the bowl of cereal in her hand. Tom shrugs “ I just put something on” Tom shrugs leaving Y/n to roll her eyes at him. Tom continued to watch her as she brings the spoon to her mouth, the way her eyelashes flutters as she laughes. “ you’re doing it again” she said. Bringing her fingers to her ear so she can place the stroke of hair behind it. She keeps her eyes at the screen. Tom looks away embarrassing that he was caught watching her. If it isn’t already clear Tom likes y/n. He was going to tell her, he was going to but just then she started dating the asshole from east. Some guy who doesn’t know how to treat her right. He would never go away. Always showing up wherever they hung out. By the diner, Tom’s flat , he was always there. But that stopped when Y/n caught him cheating and left him for good. That had been just a week ago.

It has been a little bit over a week since she found him cheating. A little bit over a week since she got her heart broken. Y/n stayed at Tom’s place after everything. She couldn’t stand the thought of being in that apartment where she got her heart broken. So Tom took her in and out of respect Tom put off telling her for a little while longer. Yet here he was starring at the TV screen trying his hardest not to kiss her. “ you were just starring at me” She turns to face him. Tom shalwar his head. “ no I wasn’t” a simpler reply couldn’t be spoken.

“ okay, is it something a have on my face” She asks. Tom keeps quiet. If he opens his mouth and speaks he know that he might tell her. He might blurt the last thing she needed to know. “ no you don’t, I was just frozen that’s all.” He forced himself to say. She finally gives in and takes a bother sooon full of cereal.

A couple episodes (of whatever it was that you guys where watching ) later Y/n puts her empty bowl down on the small table beside the sofa. Her breathing quicken and she stands up. She had put this conversation long enough “ Hey um” she starts and grabs Toms attention.

“ I um- wow I didn’t know how dumb this is going to sound” she says. Tom begins to grow equally as nervous.

“ I have decided to talk things out with Darien. I might’ve agreed to move back in with him”

She tells him. Tom felt his heart sink. The weight of losing her one more time to that scumbag was unbearable. He couldn’t move ”w-what? But why? Y/n don’t please” He tries. He knew that if he didn’t tell her now he might not ever tell her. If she went back to him then he might ever get her back. Without thinking Tom grabs her by the waist and kisses her softly. He hadn’t planned any of it. He wasn’t going to tell her today.

“ Tom I” but Tom didn’t want to waist any more time. How could he? He’s been waiting for years to tell her and now he finally can. All it took was for her to slip far enough and suddenly he had the courage to kiss her.

Their lips move in unison and the bittersweet aftertaste from the cereal was exploding in his mouth. His hand helped her lay down. Y/n didn’t know exactly how to feel. She was kissing her best friend while in somewhat way going to go see her ex. To many things where going on in her mind. She wrapped her legs around his waist and held onto him. The sunlight beaming through the white curtains. He wasn’t going to tell her, He hadn’t planned on telling her. He had planned on waiting, planned on making a big deal out of it. He was going to take her to their favorite place and reenact one of her favorite scenes from Pretty in pink.

Now he was kissing her like he’d never kissed anyone before. Tom traces the outlines of her body, his fingers are trembling because of the nerves.

He loved everything about her body. Every stretch mark and every flaw. The light were guiding him as he traces his lips down her stomach.

“ Thomas” she pushes him off of her.

“ I can’t do this, I simply can’t do this” they both sit up.

“ Why? Why can’t we just..” y/n cuts him off

“ Tom you know I love you, you’re my absolute best friend and I appreciate what you have done for me I really do. But..” she really didn’t have to finish, Tom did it for her.

“ you still love him” It was already to late. Tom thought that a singel kiss would change everything, he’d finally get the girl.

She doesn’t answer his statement. She simply just grabs her phone and walks out the room. Only to reappear a couple moments later fully clothed and ready to head out the door. Just as she’s about to leave she turns her head and looks at Tom” Look, maybe in another world you and I would be. Maybe if I wasn’t such an idiot to choose him over you I won’t get my heart broken again. I promise you this Tom i Will never ever bother you again. I don’t want you break your heart like he broke mine” she walks over and plants a kiss on his forehead.

Just as the door closes Tom utters “ What if my hearts already broken?”

She left, leaving nothing but the lights on.

For Soph: @hollandroos

Vintage Love: Part 2

Masterlist

Part 1

Bucky Barnes x Plus!Size Reader

Prompt: “I love every single part of you, even if you don’t,”

Warnings: +18 ONLY! ABO, all that kinky shit that comes with knotting, heat & animalistic behavior that we all hate to admit we love!

A/N: PART 2! This is part of a @hollandroos​ Sophs 15k celebration as well as request for @moonfaery​! I hope I did both justice! It’s long so its in two parts!

Words: +2,300

This time it was unbearable, slick soaking the sheets under Y/N, prompting her to wake earlier than usual, never before had this happened, not even when she presented as a feral alpha at 11 or her first heat here at the compound. No one even knew & were it not for the slight twinge every now & then to be knotted Y/N would have never known it. Calling out to the AI to inform those needed that she wouldn’t be making it out of her quarters for a while but was OK.

 It didn’t bode well for Bucky who paced out in the hall but thankfully left after an hour, Steve coming to make sure that they cleared the area for a while. Y/N making up her mind to leave slick drenched bed to get a shower & returning to find several messages informing the alpha Wanda had went into heat as well, the floor cleared of all males to be safe.

 That hurt Y/N, the pining alpha wished Bucky had stayed pacing outside the door, but her heart leapt when spotting the sheet of paper slid under the door. Going to pick it up, immediately scenting it was Bucky, gunpowder scent stronger, mingled with leather & the bitter sting of the soap used to cover up a rutting male.

 The letter read. I wanted to ask you out to dinner, but this puts a hitch in things. When we’re both allowed on the same floor again I hope you take me up on my offer. Bucky

 Scenting the paper, smiling at how old fashioned he was, the rutting males scent triggered a gush of slick to run down once clean thighs causing a loud groan at the inconvenience at having to change clothes once again with the overwhelming urge to be knotted hitting hard this time that caused knees to buckle.

 “Oh shit,” Y/N began, trying to stand but slumped to the floor clutching the note scenting it, this only happened to her kind when the only alpha capable of breeding them was close.

 Getting to shaky feet the struggling alpha made it to the bed fumbling for suppressants but knew it wouldn’t help grabbing for the phone instead, texting Bruce there was a problem. The scientist should have no problem with her heat & possibly a way to hinder it. The scientist calling a few minutes after the text went through, answering to explain what was going on.

“Y/N, feral alpha’s aren’t this simple, you do understand that there is only one exact cure for this,” Bruce began, sitting worriedly at the bar of the small kitchenette while Y/N sat in the middle of slick drenched sheets, doubled over, letting out another groan of frustration & need.

“There has to be something, I can’t put this on any….,” Y/N groaned, tank top drenched with sweat before Bruce began to speak once more.

“You know as well as I that your kind, your strain are totally unknown & ancient. The research, even current on feral alphas has yet to figure out how to suppress heats or ruts. Not to mention they aren’t working for Bucky either,” Bruce explained with an exasperated sigh, Y/N finally looking up at him.

“What…,” Y/N began as he got to his feet.

“If we don’t do something this could permanently ruin you,” Bruce admitted.

“Like kill me?”

“No, as in make following heats so unbearable you are no longer able to leave your room Y/N… I…. just give me a minute to get a plan,” Bruce acknowledged, quick to grab the tablet & hurry out of the room.

The alpha quivering with need in the darkened room as the overwhelming scent of gunpowder, leather & male musk telling Y/N that the rutting male had washed the concealing soap off before he entered. The stout soldier pausing in the door way, sure to step in to shut the door, caerulean irises swallowed up as nostrils flared taking in the whimpering alpha that remained where Bruce said she was. Thick female body drenched in sweat making the shirt cling to ample curves, scenting the sweet slick that drenched boy shorts & sheets.

“Bucky,” she began sadly the alpha watching tears prick at the corner of Y/E/C eyes, even in the darkness acute sight couldn’t mistake the worry, the fear.

“You don’t want me as a mate…. I….,” Y/N whimpered silently, killing the feral in heat to turn Bucky away when he was the only one that could help.

“How do you know what I want sweetheart,” his husky voice began quietly, it was all the male alpha could do to keep from rushing forward to take Y/N harshly, to knot the whimpering feral unforgiving, no Bucky didn’t want to be like other alphas he wanted to be gentle especially with her.

“Oh god… Bucky… this… this hurts. If. If you’re sure,” weak voice shook with pain eyes pleading but not about to rush to him like a deprived omega.

“Do YOU want me as a mate is what I’m asking Y/N. Do you want this,” He hinted to ridged male body, Y/N knowing how marked it was, knew his nightmares, fears.

“Yes,” Y/N finally breathed out, forcing herself to sweaty, shaky feet.

Slick trickling from between thick thighs, making the female alpha so uncomfortable to pull the sheet around her. In an instant Bucky was close looking sweat drenched curves over, shivering for a knot. Y/N pausing in unfound worry for the soldier to place flesh hand to flush cheek, relishing in the cooler feel of it on scorching flesh & leaning into it

“Jesus doll. Bruce said you were having a rough go, but I didn’t realize you had the fever,” he worried dipping close to taught jaw to bury his nose in the glands there.

“Feral,” Bucky, no the alpha growled out, remembering meeting only one other feral, an omega, their entire breed prone to fever heats but well known for alpha females.

“Yes,” Y/N breathed out, releasing the sheet as the hand on her cheek pulled her flush to sweltering body, sweat drenching once dry clothes, a growl escaping taught chest.

“Let me take care of you? Let me take you to the shower get you cooled off,” Bucky hushed, voice gritty as they finally locked gazes, pupils blown wide, nostrils flared & bodies shivering with the excitement of what this all meant.

“Please,” the female alpha pleaded.

Sweaty arms draping around burning neck as Bucky reached down to thick thighs, pulling them up & around toned waist, slick drenching clothed arousal. Hard to stop ample hips as they involuntarily bucked at it, body shaking with the need once more while burying nose into his glands the brunet proceeding to carry shivering form to the shower.

The older alpha fussing over the younger, helping Y/N peel off soaked clothes the moment bare feet touched the cool tile, Y/N quick to return favor. Bucky tugging compliant body into the shower with a firm grip around ample waist holding her flush to cut on cool water and hold tight to the shivering creature. The cold water felt wonderful over overheating flesh as feverish forehead laid into hot chest, metal & flesh soothing over shivering spine.

The need for a knot hitting worse, quick to catch the whimpering alpha before she hit the floor, scorching hands going to the back of strong neck to push them together for a passionate kiss. Bucky quick to instinctively grab thick thighs to hover Y/N over leaking cock that begged to knot slick drenched cunt.

“Please Bucky… I want this… I want you… I need you… alpha, please” Y/N whimpered out in a pant.

Looking down at the alpha holding her to take in his dark smirk as she felt herself slowly lowered over throbbing cock, knot already formed at the base, letting out a gasping moan as cunt sunk maddingly slow over throbbing cock. Y/N quivered violently as he finally seated fulling in silky soft pulsing cunt, pulling tight to toned body as the burn & stretch.

“Ok sweetheart? Talk to me doll am I...,” Bucky worried, holding tight, thick thighs shaking around toned waist as she buried into the crook of his neck, bucking slightly but daring no more than that, the continued burn & stretch sending shivers of pleasure up her spine that over road pain now.

“No. I’m fine give me time,” a quiet voice quivered next to his ear filing her nose go to clinched jaw, burying into the glands before moving to press hot lips to flesh that would bare HER mark.

“Tell me when I can move,” Bucky’ voice pleaded this time, shivering himself as sharp fangs cherished over soft flesh, recalling the fact that feral alpha females marked their mates.

“Then please move,” she panted, moving to face Bucky with a smirk, bucking on swollen cock swearing that his knot was already trying to stretch slick drenched cunt.

“Fuck,” Bucky snarled

Chestnut head falling to the crook of her neck, scenting along her jaw, fangs running over bond flesh, he couldn’t help it, tongue flicking out to taste, the scent of honeysuckle, cool summer breeze & fresh cut hay taking him. The scent of Y/N’ heat making Bucky thrust harshly into clenching cunt, lips moving to hers to swallow the raspy moan that escaped at his actions, hot hands threading into wet auburn locks to rake short nails over prickly scalp as tongues tangled.

“Mark me,” Y/N panted, breaking the kiss, knot making its way into soaking cunt, the fill of cool water over scorching flesh causing sensations that neither thought possible.

“No, you mark me doll,” he panted back.

Meeting bucking hips with well-timed thrust,  causing the creature above him to shiver violently at the action, swearing juicy cunt was about to close up on twitching cock, dawning on the older alpha Y/N was hitting her first orgasm. Pounding harder, the soldier helped Y/N to chase the first wave, knot slipping further in, overwhelming pleasure taking over for the woman to cling to Bucky. Rutting hard, filling the knot nearly catch as stars shattered in front of her eyes, begging the alpha that held her to not stop, to mark her.

“Mark me,” he breathed back, helping her through her blinding orgasm, looking into hazy blissed eyes, knot almost catching once more to grind down hard on it with a devilish smirk.

“As you wish…,” Y/N began slyly, leaning down to rake fangs over bond flesh but pausing to speak into his ear, “MY alpha,” she finished possessively.

The sharp sting of fangs penetrating soft flesh driving him closer to the edge but not yet. Hot metal flooding their senses as crimson ribbons ran down metal shoulder, following the plates of black vibranium before dripping to the tile to flow with cold water. The female quick to force his lips, sharp fangs to her own tender neck demanding Bucky claim her or it wouldn’t work.

“MY alpha,” Bucky breathed out before latching on.

Hot metallic saturating his mouth, flowing over ample chest to coat both in the feral alphas blood. Thick knot finally catching to lock them together, the alpha above him letting out a keening cry of release as velvet walls fluttered around swollen spilling knot to fill greedy womb to the brim, both holding tight, vision going black as Bucky fell against the tile wall to slide to the floor. Panting Y/N rutting at strong hips gently, kissing the bleeding bite she had given him, only pausing when he done the same.

“Hold tight,” was all blissed out brain could force out, getting shakily to his feet to cut the water off, stumbling back to the bedroom, a trail of water in their wake but not caring for that or the slick drenched bed as the soldier fell back holding tight to Y/N as he scooted around to get both comfortable, cock still pulsing inside slick soaked cunt.

“Ok sweetheart? Speak to me alpha,” Bucky hushed to the creature that still shivered in his arms but was thankfully cooling down, moving to nuzzle at bloody fang marks, hot hands falling to thick thighs as he laid on his back, Y/N draped over him like a limp rag.

“Just fine alpha,” a bleary voice answered, Y/N moving to gaze into azure eyes that had softened from their usual state of worry to one of reverence for the creature he gazed up, Y/N’ hands moving to taught chest, hand going to marked neck to cherish over the raw flesh.

“This looks beautiful on you doll,” Bucky breathed out, calloused fingers cherishing over the mark he had gifted her with, smiling happily.

“Alpha,” he smiled up into sparking Y/E/C orbs that looked at him differently now, Bucky’ hands sliding along pliable spine & filling her shiver against bare torso.

Y/N moving ample hips against strong ones in an effort for a bit of friction, obvious it wasn’t over, possibly not for a few days as the rate she was heating up again, the alpha under her chuckling at her need, but bucking still swollen knot inside of overfilled cunt, combined arousal trickling down his balls.

“So glad you picked me doll,” Bucky smiled at the sleepy alpha that went lax on bare chest despite scenting her need, obvious the fever had taken a toll.

“Glad you picked me Buck,” Y/N breathed, hot breath fanning across wet chest as he slid against the pillows to prop, pushing wet Y/H/C locks out of the way to peer down at the alpha that was attempting to get rest before the next wave.

“MY alpha,” Bucky breathed out, turning to his side best he could to snuggle with Y/N who was nuzzling at toned chest, thumb cherishing fresh bond mark as his done the same, flesh arm under wet Y/H/C head, pulling thick thigh over his own to keep her comfortable while they remain locked together.

“No….,” Y/N murmured across his chest, barely audible, “MY alpha.”

Tags open! And re-blogs are ALWAYS welcomed!

Tags: @dark-night-sky-99​  @prettybubblesintheair​  @gramaeryebard​  @reallyheckinggay​  @jovanna-shewolf​  @andiyholly​  @katstablook​   @nickyl316h​  @beets1bears1battlestargalactica​ @aslandia726​ @moonfaery​ @furstinnajoelle   @itsbqueenthings​ @lookwhatyoumademequeue​

@whovianwookie86-captainxev@jazzieomega

I'm Sorry

Summary: When people get drunk, they make stupid mistakes. Now, you have to deal with the consequences of yours.

Warnings: lots of mentions of cheating, sort of self hate

Word count: 968

A/N: this is a submission for @hollandroos writing challenge! Prompt: "you wouldn't have to way sorry if you didn't hurt me in the first place."

You hear the door to your flat open, you pulling your legs up to your chest as another whimper falls from your mouth, tears streaking your bright red cheeks cheeks. Footsteps can be heard from the living room as they slowly walk down the hallway and stop in front of the bathroom.

"Y/n, are you in there?" You hear Tom ask from the other side of the door after a gentle knock on the wood. You don't reply, only sniff as he slowly opens the door. "Darling, why are you sitting in the tub?"

You shake your head and bury your face between your knees, another sob racking through your body causing you to shake. "Hey what's wrong?" Tom asks, crouching down so he's at eye level with you, concern lacing his words as his eyebrows pull together.

"I did something." You mumble, lifting your head to look at him. Fear flashes in his eyes but it's quickly gone.

"What did you do?" He pushes in a low volume, eyes not leaving yours. You remain silent as more tears spill over your eyes causing more concern to spread across his face. Tom reaches his hand out and brushes away the tears, you flinching slightly at his touch.

"I'm so sorry." You whimper, again looking down as your bottom lip quivers.

"Sorry for what, love?"

"I... I ch-cheated..." You confess before starting to cry again, hair blocking your face from his view. Tom is silent for a moment before he again stands and walks out the door, his jaw clenched. "Wait, Tom!" You cry, bolting upright and chasing after him though your head spins and you can feel your lunch in your throat. "Tom!"

"What." He states in a cold, emotionless tone without even looking in your direction sending a shiver down your spin, for you've never ever heard him speak to anyone like that, let alone yourself.

"What- what're you doing?" You ask, tears starting to again downfall from your eyes and turning your face into a waterfall.

"Leaving." He answers stiffly before picking up his bag and hastily stuffing some of his possessions in it, barely registering your presence.

"No, Tom please I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." You whimper grabbing his arm in an attempt to stop his actions but he simply shrugs you off.

"You wouldn't have to say sorry if you didn't hurt me in the first place." Tom says, his voice cracking at the end of his sentence. You look at his eyes and you can see the hurt and the cracks that you've caused with your drunken actions and two words. Both of you stare with broken eyes at the other that you love so much, but you built a thick wall between that love with what you'd chosen to do. You did this.

"I didn't mean to hurt you just please." You beg, hand finding itself again on his arm as you stare up at him with desperation deeply rooted in your eyes and voice.

"I told you that if one of us cheated there's no reason to stay together. If you're in a relationship with someone, there should be no reason for the other to cheat. If you actually loved me then there would be no reason for you to sleep with someone else. You hurt me. You cheated. You cheated so now I'm leaving." He finishes packing his sweatshirts that you loved to wear on rainy days and curl up in his arms and watch a movie while the rain pounded at the windows, you enveloped in Tom's warmth and scent. But now, all of that is being ripped out of your hands as if your an infant.

Tom walks out of the bedroom, down the hall, and towards the entryway no matter how much you beg and plead for him to stop, following him through your small flat.

"Tom please, you can't do this you can't, I'm so sorry." You weep, a trail of tears following you from the bathroom to where you both stand, him halfway out the doorway and you right in front of it. He stops with his hand still on the doorknob, turning back to give you one last look. His face holds so much hurt,so much betrayal so much disgust. You almost have to look away in pure ashamement.

"Good bye, Y/n." Tom whispers before finally stepping out and shutting the door behind him, efficiently leaving you behind and stabbing your heart and throwing it on the floor.

You sink to your knees as your cries somehow get stronger and you let your head fall against the wall. All you can see is all of the happy moments you've had with Tom being ripped to shreds as you try desperately to keep them together. Little dates like the cafes and ice cream parlors. Him taking you to set or interviews. You both just relaxing in your apartment. Cooking and making a mess attacking each other with the ingredients. Small kisses and hugs. You both holding each other when the other was sad. But now, Tom isn't there to hold you. He isn't there to tell you it'll all be okay and pepper your face in kisses. He isn't there because you made the decision to go out with someone else even if you were drunk. You hurt him. You felt as if someone took your heart and mind and replaced them with voids of despair and sadness. You had no one else to blame but yourself. Tom's gone and it's your fault, and there's no way you can get him back.

I wanted to finish my fic for @hollandroos 15k challenge, but this damn writer’s block won’t let me ):

So tumblr is actually trash (quote me on that) and everytime I go to #sophs15k to see if you guys posted anything for my WC, nothing comes up >:(

Because of that, I ask that you please send your work to me VIA dm’s so I can see them considering the tagging system is trash too !! I promise I’m not ignoring anyone's piece, this site just barely lets me see when I’ve been tagged in things.

Lonely

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: They meet at a family and friends party

Requested: Nope but it is my entry for the wonderful @hollandroos 15K writing challenge - congratulations lovely!! (my prompt was: “Can we please just lay here for a while and ignore... literally everything else?”

“You look depressed as fuck,” Y/N’s sister, Robyn, commented, walking over to her younger sister with a raised eyebrow. Y/N rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her drink - rum and coke, her standard order.

“Why the fuck are we here?” Y/N asked and Robyn laughed.

“Because Grandma invited us,”

“I was under the impression it would be a family party,”

“Yeah, well, you know Grandma, she doesn’t do things by halves.”

“Got that fucking right,” Y/N grumbled, thinking back to all the ‘little social gatherings’ her grandmother had arranged over the years.

“This is positively tiny in comparison to some of the others,” Robyn pointed out. Y/N laughed into her drink.

“Auntie Y/N!” Y/N’s legs were wound tightly into a hug by the arms of her twin niece and nephew.

“And Auntie Robyn?” Robyn feigned offence over the clear favouritism.

“Buy them chocolate and don’t have kids of your own, then you get to be their favourite aunt,” Y/N told Robyn, handing her sister her drink and embracing the five year olds into a tight hug.

“They should still be excited to see me,”

“They’re all I have, Rob, let me be their favourite,”

“What about my son?” 

“He can’t talk yet - but trust me, when he’s old enough to understand bribary I’ll have Jamie on my side too,” Y/N assured her sister, picking up the twins and swinging them around. “How are you two doing then? How’s school? How’s your teacher?”

“Teachers-” Jonathan corrected, frowning.

“They put us in separate classes!” Josie cut off, glaring at Y/N, letting her disapproval of the idea show.

“Well that’s just not right is it?” Y/N sighed and the twins gave adamant shakes of their heads. Y/N laughed and kissed both of their foreheads before placing them down, taking her drink off of her sister.

“Put that drink away and say hello to me, Y/N/N,” Y/N groaned loudly in mock annoyance at her brother’s words but embraced Scott and his wife Leslie. 

“Hello, oh dear brother of mine. How nice to see you,”

“It doesn’t need to sound so forced,” Scott laughed and Y/N shrugged.

“Don’t want your self esteem getting too high,”

“So do we even know half of these people?” Leslie asked and Y/N shook her head.

“I know about five people,”

“What about us?”

“Do I really know you though?”

“You’re the most annoying person I know,” Scott commented and Y/N winked at him.

“And yet I’m still your favourite sister,”

“Hey!” Robyn exclaimed, offended by the notion and Y/N laughed.

“If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a corner to sit in,”

“Why didn’t you bring anyone?” Her Granddad asked her, as he joined her at the side of the room, as he always did at her Grandparent’s gatherings.

“Because I’m still painfully single, Granddad,” Y/N said and he laughed at her, shaking his head.

“I just don’t understand why, even Dan brought his boyfriend,”

“Because Dan has a boyfriend to bring,” Y/N pointed out, a grin on her face as she watched her Granddad finish his beer.

“David! The Hollands are here!” Her Grandmother announced, coming over to Y/N and David, a family in tow.

“Hello, Nikki, how are you? And you Dom?” David asked, pushing himself up and shaking their hands.

“We’re good thank you, David, thanks for inviting us!” Nikki grinned and David laughed, shaking his head.

“Don’t thank me, Nikki, It was Jo and Y/N who organised this whole thing,” David said, holding his hands up, eyes crinkling at the edges.

“Have you met Y/N yet?” Joanna asked, indicating her granddaughter, who looked up in surprise at being brought into the conversation. “Stand up, Y/N!” Joanna demanded and Y/N sighed, pushing herself up and shaking Nikki and Dom’s hands.

“Hey,” she said. 

“Oh you’re one of the Grandchildren then?”

“Yeah, I’m the third,”

“Third of how many?” One of Nikki’s children piped up and Y/N looked over, squinting at the boy.

“Are you Spider-Man?” She asked and the man laughed, nodding.

“I’m Tom it’s nice to meet you,” 

“Yeah, you too, I’m Y/N,” she said, feeling her face flush as she comprehended her previous question. 

“I’m Harry,” 

“Sam,” Y/N shook the hands of the twins, greeting them warmly and looking at the youngest member of the Holland household. “This is Paddy, he’s a little shy around new people,”

“It’s nice to meet you Paddy,” Y/N said and the boy smiled awkwardly at her, nodding.

“You - uh - too,” he said quietly.

“I’m gonna go... get a drink,” Y/N announced.

“You should stick around and talk Y/N,” Joanna said through gritted teeth and Y/N gave a patient smile.

“Dan just got here and I want to say hi to him and Cameron,” she explained. “But it was really nice to meet all of you,”

“You too,” Tom said quickly and Y/N chuckled as Harry nudged him in the ribs with raised eyebrows, causing Tom to flush red. 

“Aren’t you cold?” Tom asked, coming to stand next to Y/N, who was sat at the edge of the garden, watching the lights dance inside of her grandparent’s home.

“Not until you just said it,” she responded with a smile before taking a sip of her drink.

“Sorry,” Y/N shook her head.

“How’d a celebrity land themselves at this shitty party then?”

“Joanna invited my parents,” Tom shrugged. “I wanted to spend time with my family,”

“Good son,”

“I try,” Tom watched her carefully. She was frowning slightly as she stared off into the windows of her grandparents house. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just...” Y/N let out a sigh and shook her head. “I really hate these parties,” she admits with a laugh.

“Why?” Tom asked. He had been with the woman all afternoon and evening, she had started up a football game in the garden and had invited Tom and his brother’s to join. She had been cracking jokes and entertaining the children for hours and Tom had been given no reason to believe that she wasn’t enjoying herself.

“It’s just lonely, you know?” 

“No offence, love, but you’ve seemed anything but lonely tonight,” Y/N laughed and downed her drink before turning to him.

“Okay, that’s what everyone thinks - but you’re a celebrity who I’m never going to see again probably,” Tom shook his head in disagreement, he couldn’t think of anything worse than allowing such an extraordinary woman to just walk out of his life but Y/N wasn’t paying attention, “and you also have better things to do than remember any of this, so let me explain it to you,”

She was slightly drunk, on her third rum and coke of the evening, and Tom found her adorable in the way that she was so worked up and loose about what she was saying - even though he knew that he shouldn’t be thinking about her appearance right now as she was about to spill her soul to him.

“So I’m one of five, right? The middle one, no less. I’m the one my parent’s were the least worried about - yaknow, don’t fuck up the first two, the last one you want to do a good job on, the third and the fourth are the one’s people forget - notice how my other brother’s not here? Ray is travelling and I knew I should have come up with a bullshit excuse to skip this as well,” Tom laughed and shook his head.

“I’m glad you didn’t,”

“Shush!” Y/N laughed, covering his mouth with her hand playfully as her cheeks burned red. “And I’m also the only single one - even bloody Dan got a boyfriend before I did and he’s the youngest!” Her smile became sadder at her words. “So everyone’s here, everyone’s celebrating and everyone’s got someone. And then there’s me, on my own, and it’s fucking lonely. I settle, you see? I don’t search and find anymore - I gave up on that a while ago. I settle instead. Settle with being favourite aunt, settle with being a good sister, settle for friends,” Tom can see the tears sparkling in her eyes as she comes to a close. “And settling fucking sucks because people stop giving a shit about you,”

“I give a shit about you,” Tom said but Y/N let out a sigh and shook her head, a small smile coming back onto her face as she lent back.

“You don’t know a thing about me, movie star,”

“I want to know all about you,” and it wasn’t a lie, Tom had been entranced by the beautiful woman from the second he saw her. He wanted to know more about her, wanted to make her laugh more, wanted to make her happy.

“You’re sweet,” Tom smiled at her.

“You’re shivering,” he commented, standing up and offering her his hand. “Let’s go back inside so you can warm up,” Y/N groaned and shook her head, grabbing his hand but pulling him back down beside her, causing him to laugh.

“Can we please just lay here for a while and ignore... literally everything else?”

“There’s an offer I certainly can’t refuse,” Tom agreed, placing an arm around her shoulder in the hopes of warming her up. “And for the record, love, I’m not going to forget about you or this,”

“I might - I’m rather drunk right now,” Y/N admitted with a laugh and Tom chuckled.

“I’ll remind you - if you’ll let me,”

Sorry this is short and kidna shit but hey! I wrote something!!!!! I hope you liked this - please remember to like and reblog with your thoughts on it! Congratulations again @hollandroos on hitting 15K (even if this is a really late entry, sorry about that...)

TOM HOLLAND TAGS

@mjxmb

MARVEL TAGS

@vineisdeadiwishiwas @sea040561 @slender–spirit@valentinebucky@smexylemony

PERMANENT TAGS

@sarahp879 @normanatenorma @highlandcatt@instantnoodlese@peterparkyourassonme @peter-parker-fyeah@tylerrose931617

lazy day || t.h

pairing: tom holland x reader

summary: spending a lazy day with tom

word count: 760

a/n: this was written for @hollandroos 15k writing challenge, congrats on 15k, thats huge! my prompt was “You look better in my shirts than I do.” it’s bolded!

warnings: so much fluff u might choke

masterlist ♡

The sunlight shone through the thin curtains covering the window, waking Tom from his sleep. Feeling a weight on his chest, he looked down, only to smile at what was before him. You slept soundly on his chest, face buried in the crook of his neck, legs tangled with his own. Your arms were draped across his torso carelessly, and his own arms were wrapped tightly around your waist. Relaxing his head back into the pillows, he ran his fingers through his hair, tousling his already-messy hair. 

Tom let out a quiet sigh, lips turning upwards into a hint of a smile. Reluctantly, he untangled himself from your embrace. He quietly grabbed a pair of sweatpants, pausing to press a kiss to your forehead, and made his way out of the room.

-

Standing near the kitchen counter, waiting for his coffee to brew and scrolling through his social media, Tom smiled, letting out a breathy laugh when he felt your arms wrap around his bare back. He turned around, pulling you close and wrapping you in a hug. 

“Good morning,” Tom murmured, voice husky with sleep. He pulled back, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. His chocolate brown eyes stared at you earnestly, shimmering with love. 

“Morning, Tommy,” you grinned, pecking him quickly. “Sleep well?”

“I always do with you, love.” 

Tutting quietly, your smile grew. “You big sap.”

Tom raised an eyebrow. “And you’re complaining?” He chuckled. 

“Well,” you teased, “I-” You were cut off by a kiss. You smiled, melting into it. 

“You were saying?” Tom murmured against your neck, trailing small kisses down the length of it. His arms made their way around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest.

“Tom,” you pouted, “that’s not fair! We have a lot to do today!” 

Tom simply hummed, pressing a chaste kiss to your head. “Go, darling, go get changed. I’ll make breakfast — pancakes okay?” 

“You know me too well,” you murmured, before slipping out of his warm arms to his bedroom. 

-

When you emerged, wearing one of his favourite hoodies, practically swallowing you whole, he couldn’t help but beam, snapping a picture to save. You had the hoodie’s sleeves scrunched at your wrists, and the hoodie came down to mid-thigh. 

“You look better in my shirts then I do.” Tom grinned. He let his hand pull you close to him, twirling you around so your back was flush against his chest, and his arm was wrapped securely around you. 

He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have you.

-

Later, the two of you sat on the couch, a blanket swaddling you both. You found yourself nestled in the crook of Tom's arm which wrapped around you to pull you close. A movie played in the background, but all you could focus on was his fingers tracing random patterns on your arms, lulling you into a gentle sleep. 

“—and she’s just sleeping now but—” you blinked, burying yourself deeper into Tom’s warmth and the blanket. You heard Tom’s gentle whisper, trying not to wake you, you guessed, and raised your head to peck him on the jaw, feeling a smile forming on his face. “—Hey, darling, you awake?” 

“Mmm,” you affirmed. “Who’re you talking to?” 

Tom turned his phone slightly which showed you his live stream and the blur of comments that appeared. Your eyes widened, lightly hitting his chest. “I look horrible, Tommy! And you’re live-streaming?”

“Well I think you look beautiful,” Tom murmured, raking his fingers through your hair. “As always.”

The chat section exploded in AWW comments. You blushed, turning your head to read a few of the comments. 

“Tom is the sweetest boyfriend and we stan — mhm, yes, I agree.” You read, letting your head fall back on Tom’s chest. “My OTP — hey, you hear that, Tom? We’re an OTP.” You giggled.

“Couple goals?” Tom laughed. “Sounds about right, yeah?” 

You hummed. Tom answered a few more questions before ending the live-stream. He set his phone down, resting his chin atop your head. You turned, straddling his lap and brought your lips to meet in a soft kiss. His hands came to rest on the small of your back, pulling you closer to him. Tom broke the kiss and pressed your foreheads together. 

“I love you,” he breathed, leaning in to steal another loving kiss. 

“I love you, Tom, so much.” You fell back, your ear pressed against his chest. You could hear the steady thump of his heart, and it calmed you. You smiled, pressing a kiss to his collarbone. 

You could practically feel the smirk radiating through his body. “So,” he started, “what was that about having a lot to do?” 

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I'm Sorry

Summary: when you make idiotic decisions when you're drunk, how will your boyfriend react?

Warnings: lots of mentions of cheating, selfhate-ish

Word count: 968

A/N: this is a submission for @hollandroos writing challenge! Prompt: "You wouldn't have to say sorry if you didn't hurt me in the first place." I'm so sorry idk how to use the read more button 😅

You hear the door to your flat open, you pulling your legs up to your chest as another whimper falls from your mouth, tears streaking your bright red cheeks cheeks. Footsteps can be heard from the living room as they slowly walk down the hallway and stop in front of the bathroom.

"Y/n, are you in there?" You hear Tom ask from the other side of the door after a gentle knock on the wood. You don't reply, only sniff as he slowly opens the door. "Darling, why are you sitting in the tub?"

You shake your head and bury your face between your knees, another sob racking through your body causing you to shake. "Hey what's wrong?" Tom asks, crouching down so he's at eye level with you, concern lacing his words as his eyebrows pull together.

"I did something." You mumble, lifting your head to look at him. Fear flashes in his eyes but it's quickly gone.

"What did you do?" He pushes in a low volume, eyes not leaving yours. You remain silent as more tears spill over your eyes causing more concern to spread across his face. Tom reaches his hand out and brushes away the tears, you flinching slightly at his touch.

"I'm so sorry." You whimper, again looking down as your bottom lip quivers.

"Sorry for what, love?"

"I... I ch-cheated..." You confess before starting to cry again, hair blocking your face from his view. Tom is silent for a moment before he again stands and walks out the door, his jaw clenched. "Wait, Tom!" You cry, bolting upright and chasing after him though your head spins and you can feel your lunch in your throat. "Tom!"

"What." He states in a cold, emotionless tone without even looking in your direction sending a shiver down your spin, for you've never ever heard him speak to anyone like that, let alone yourself.

"What- what're you doing?" You ask, tears starting to again downfall from your eyes and turning your face into a waterfall.

"Leaving." He answers stiffly before picking up his bag and hastily stuffing some of his possessions in it, barely registering your presence.

"No, Tom please I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." You whimper grabbing his arm in an attempt to stop his actions but he simply shrugs you off.

"You wouldn't have to say sorry if you didn't hurt me in the first place." Tom says, his voice cracking at the end of his sentence. You look at his eyes and you can see the hurt and the cracks that you've caused with your drunken actions and two words. Both of you stare with broken eyes at the other that you love so much, but you built a thick wall between that love with what you'd chosen to do. You did this.

"I didn't mean to hurt you just please." You beg, hand finding itself again on his arm as you stare up at him with desperation deeply rooted in your eyes and voice.

"I told you that if one of us cheated there's no reason to stay together. If you're in a relationship with someone, there should be no reason for the other to cheat. If you actually loved me then there would be no reason for you to sleep with someone else. You hurt me. You cheated. You cheated so now I'm leaving." He finishes packing his sweatshirts that you loved to wear on rainy days and curl up in his arms and watch a movie while the rain pounded at the windows, you enveloped in Tom's warmth and scent. But now, all of that is being ripped out of your hands as if your an infant.

Tom walks out of the bedroom, down the hall, and towards the entryway no matter how much you beg and plead for him to stop, following him through your small flat.

"Tom please, you can't do this you can't, I'm so sorry." You weep, a trail of tears following you from the bathroom to where you both stand, him halfway out the doorway and you right in front of it. He stops with his hand still on the doorknob, turning back to give you one last look. His face holds so much hurt,so much betrayal so much disgust. You almost have to look away in pure ashamement.

"Good bye, Y/n." Tom whispers before finally stepping out and shutting the door behind him, efficiently leaving you behind and stabbing your heart and throwing it on the floor.

You sink to your knees as your cries somehow get stronger and you let your head fall against the wall. All you can see is all of the happy moments you've had with Tom being ripped to shreds as you try desperately to keep them together. Little dates like the cafes and ice cream parlors. Him taking you to set or interviews. You both just relaxing in your apartment. Cooking and making a mess attacking each other with the ingredients. Small kisses and hugs. You both holding each other when the other was sad. But now, Tom isn't there to hold you. He isn't there to tell you it'll all be okay and pepper your face in kisses. He isn't there because you made the decision to go out with someone else even if you were drunk. You hurt him. You felt as if someone took your heart and mind and replaced them with voids of despair and sadness. You had no one else to blame but yourself. Tom's gone and it's your fault, and there's no way you can get him back.

hey soph, sorry i'm being dumb, but i joined your 15k wc, and i was searching for the tag #Sophs15k, but nothing came up. so is it still going? the deadline was dec 31st, and that's what i wrote in my doc file, but i feel like i missed it or something?! sorry if i'm being and idiot!

Hey, lovely!! you didn’t miss it tumblr is just being really stupid and I have no idea why none of the posts will show up, it’s doing the same for me and I feel like I’m missing all your amazing posts! 

If you post your piece for my writing challenge can you please send it to me too via DM’s, that way I’ll 100% notice it!