i wish people that make posts that are supposed to be supportive of abuse victims would like. pay any attention to the language they use, at any point, ever.

"you're not delusional, you were abused"

thanks. i know i was abused. the abuse gave me severe mental illness that includes paranoid delusions.

"you're not crazy, you were gaslit"

the gaslighting made me crazy. see above point.

like. i don't know it just! frustrates me! abuse victims are sometimes worse off than depression and anxiety and i never see posts like "you're not anxious, you were abused", if you understand what i mean.

it's similar to a post i made last night on my maine regarding adhd and someone downplaying/lowkey insulting people with learning disabilities like if your personal validation about Your Neuroses involves shitting on other Neuroses maybe you need to reevaluate how you're fucking phrasing things.

When I first met my husband, Neal, I thought he was gay. Maybe that's because he told me he was gay. So while I was attracted to him, I figured he would just be my gay best friend. Then, one night, we wound up in bed together, and let's just say that he did not act like a gay best friend usually acts. In fact, he seemed more comfortable with my body than plenty of straight men I'd dated had been. And after a hot-and-heavy weekend, I knew a lot more about Neal than "gay" had hinted at: He'd been married before (to a woman), and he was (still is) attracted to both sexes. Since his divorce he'd mostly dated men, so he'd gone with "gay" over "bi" when we met, but deep down that's what he is: bisexual. I was not entirely surprised, and I was definitely not disappointed.

However, I did have some concerns. Early in our relationship, which got super serious, super fast, I was anxious: I worried Neal would change his mind, say that he was actually truly 100 percent gay after all, and leave me for a man. (Maybe you've heard the joke? A man who says he's bisexual is gay, straight, or lying.) Another part of me worried whether a bisexual guy could ever really be monogamous. Also, didn't being with a man who was interested in men and women mean that I was competing against everyone in the world for his attention?

I just wasn't that familiar with bi guys. Bi women are practically mainstream: Megan Fox, Lady Gaga, Anna Paquin, Jessie J, and Evan Rachel Wood, to name only a few, have all spoken openly about being bisexual. When a woman says she's bi, it makes her more desirable to men. But few celeb men are out as bi—and you never see two guys making out in a bar to get women to pay attention.

Plus, I must admit I wondered whether all the stuff people say about bisexuals might actually turn out to be true—that they're untrustworthy, just going through a phase, or slutty; that they'll break your heart or give you STDs and probably cooties too.

Dating a bi guy, even one as great and as honest as Neal, was daunting to think about.

The sliding scale of sexuality explained

Understanding the basic science of bisexuality helped me a lot. Ritch Savin-Williams, professor of developmental psychology at Cornell University, who has done extensive research into arousal patterns of gay and bisexual individuals, puts it simply: "Bisexual men are attracted to both sexes. They have variations in how much they lean toward women or men." It's important to note that Savin-Williams, like most social scientists, differentiates between sexual orientation and sexual behavior. "So a guy could be attracted to 70 percent men and 30 percent women," he says, "but still meet a woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and be monogamous. His orientation is bi, but his sexual behavior is straight." Conversely, if someone is having sex with both women and men, then he is behaviorally bisexual, regardless of what he says his orientation is.

What many women struggle with is not the fear that a guy is bi but the fear that he's temporarily bi and will eventually identify as gay. It's not a weird thing to worry about (I worried about it!), since many men have done exactly that. "Before homosexuality was as accepted as it is now," says Allen Rosenthal, a researcher at Northwestern University, "homosexual men often identified as bi in the process of coming out, like getting their feet wet. But it was a disservice to genuinely bisexual men because it left a lot of people with the impression that bi is a transitional orientation." The good news is that the reasons the bi-to-gay move used to be so prevalent—societal and family pressures, fears of being openly gay—are lessening. These days, it's more OK to be gay, and that's making it more OK to be bi. Progress!

So Could You, Should You? We asked glamour.com readers if they'd date a bi guy. The results:

__I'd have a lot of questions,

but maybe.……………………………16%

No way.………………………………..36%

Totally, why not?…………………….48%

In other words, two out of three of you would consider it. Explained one commenter: "If he's into me, he's into me. If he happens to be into guys too, well…we only have more in common!"__

Our little nonsecret

Neal assuaged my anxieties by being so enthusiastic about me that I had no reason to doubt his attraction. I was impressed by his self-awareness too. He realized he was bisexual when he was 20, and he still considers himself attracted to both sexes, at a ratio of about 80:20, women to men. My friends said he was an improvement over more macho guys I'd brought home in the past, and no one really made a big deal about the bi thing. They'd already seen him with men and with women, and we run with a pretty arty crowd. Bottom line: I was in love. As the years passed, I saw that Neal had more integrity and self-knowledge than anyone I'd ever known. And so, reader, I married him. We've been together and monogamous for 12 years, married for eight.

Neal is comfortable with his sexuality. He's "straightish," in the terminology of a gay friend of ours. But he is kind of "gayish" too. He is a performance artist, eccentric, and has—true to stereotype—better style than I do. And if I'm like, "Wow, Mike is superhot," he doesn't stare blankly but says, "Totally. Because of the way he plays guitar, right?"

Generally, we don't tell the world about Neal's orientation (well, until now!). Not everyone is as supportive as our circle, and to be honest, I have zero interest in talking with someone who thinks I'm in a sham marriage just because my guy doesn't go, "Ewww!" when Channing Tatum takes off his shirt.

There have been a few bumps along the road. Early on, Neal confessed that he had a crush on someone else. In the moment before he told me who it was, as my heart sank, I thought: Oh God, it's a man. He's gay. He's going to leave me for a man. I am a fool. How did I not see it coming? How stupid could I be?

Then he told me who it was: a woman. And we worked through it. In retrospect, I think we would have been OK even if it had been a man. In the years since, we've weathered crushes I've developed too, and a million other surprising and not-so-surprising things. I don't think we're any more open-minded than most couples—but the amount of honesty required at the beginning of our relationship has served us well.

Talk, then talk some more

So how do you make it work with a bi guy? "If I were a woman involved with a bisexual man," says Savin-Williams, "I would have very honest communication with him about what he means when he uses the term." Trust me, I asked Neal a lot of questions about what he was into and what to expect as our relationship deepened. Would he commit to monogamy? What kind of boundaries did we need to set up? Be clear about what you're asking, warns Lisa Diamond, professor of developmental psychology at the University of Utah. "The question Are you attracted to men?' is different from Would you want to have a sexual relationship with a man?'" she points out. "Many men might say, It's a hot fantasy, but not one I would act on.'" At that point the question becomes whether or not you're OK with the fantasy. On the other hand, if he says he wants more than a fantasy when it comes to men…then he might not be the guy for you.

No matter whom you're dating, part of love is taking that leap into the unknown. "The only way to be truly sure," says Barbara Hernandez, a family and marriage therapist, "is over time. It depends on the values of the person, and the strength of commitment, and whether both partners work hard at it." Good advice for any couple, even a straight-as-an-arrow one.

At some point, if you're still freaking out about whether your bi guy is really bi, you might need to acknowledge that what you're worried about is whether he's really yours. "We all need to be honest with ourselves," says Diamond. "I wonder if the underlying concern isn't the same one we always have: Does he really want me? Is he going to leave me? That's a concern as old as the hills." With Neal, I came to look at it this way: If he was choosing to be with me, then he was choosing me over all men and women everywhere. And that felt kind of awesome.

Believe it or not, Neal's sexuality doesn't come up that often in our daily lives. My failure to close drawers, his inability to throw anything away, and an ongoing disagreement on who is the more lenient parent are all topics that cause more strife than his sometimes thinking men are hot. Really, who can blame him? Men are hot, especially ones who are honest and confident. Especially ones who, even though they may be attracted to lots of people, pick you.

my mom keeps badgering me about the capital event bc i really hated it but i support the blm protests and she says it’s hypocritical of me bc the protests were just as “violent” as the capital and “caused lots of deaths”. i never really have anything to say back to justify what went down, do you have any info i could use to explain myself? i know they were for completely different causes and one actually matters, but i don’t know how to justify the “violence” (i personally don’t think a majority of them were violent, all the ones where i lived were routinely peaceful and i think the extreme ones were sensationalized for the news). anyway sorry if it’s dumb i’m 14 and just trying to get into politics and stuff so i’m not super well informed and just trying to learn.

I’m sorry this has taken me a few days to get to.  What happened at the Capitol is complicated, and I want to make sure I give you as full of an answer as possible.  I also want to just quickly say that it’s awesome you’re getting involved in politics at such a young age and trying to help your parents understand these issues.  I would love to answer any questions you have about politics or social issues (or just kind of anything in general, I’m not picky).  Last thing and then I’ll get into the meat of this post- I’m a huge supporter of the BLM and police abolition movements and was a protestor over the summer, so I’m maybe a little bit biased.  This situation makes me really angry on a personal level, but I’ll try to stick to just the facts as much as possible in this post and let you know when I’m showing my own opinions.

So the first thing I want to talk about is language.  The Black Lives Matter protests were protests- a public expression of objection, disapproval or dissent towards a political idea or action, usually with the intention of influencing government policy.  In the US, protesting is a constitutional right protected by the First Amendment.  The storming of the Capitol was not a protest, and it wasn’t intended to be.  It was planned several weeks in advance with the explicit intention of disrupting the counting of Electoral College ballots.  Their stated goal was to overturn Donald Trump’s defeat in the presidential election, an election that is widely considered to be the freest, fairest, and safest election in US history (ironically, in part due to Trump’s insistence that there was voter fraud in the 2016 election).  Storming a public building is not a form of protest protected by the US Constitution.  Further, an attempt to overturn a democratic election is an attempt to carry out a coup.  The Capitol rioters will likely be charged with sedition (conduct that incites rebellion against the established order) and/or insurrection (a violent uprising against an authority or government).  The Black Lives Matter protestors were not attempting to carry out a coup against the US government, and none have been charged with offenses as big as those.

Next, I want to touch on motivation.  The Black Lives Matter protesters were protesting against police brutality towards minorities, particularly Black people.  There has long been a documented history of police misconduct and fatal use of force by law enforcement officers against Black people in the US.  Many protests in the past have been a response to police violence, including the 1965 Watts riots, the 1992 Los Angeles riots, and the 2014 and 2015 Black Lives Matter protests in response to the murders of Michael Brown, Eric Garner, and Freddie Gray.  By contrast, the Capitol rioters were not motivated by fact.  They were called to action by the President of the United States, Donald Trump.  They were told that the election had been “stolen” from Trump, and were encouraged to march over to the Capitol to “take back our country”.  The idea that the election was stolen from the president is demonstrably false.  They weren’t motivated by a social issue, a concern for their own lives, facts, or even really principle.  “Our president wants us here...we wait to take orders from our president,” was what motivated them. The affiliations of those rioters are varied, but many of them are affiliated with either the far-right, anti-government Boogaloo Boys, the explicitly neofascist Proud Boys, the self-proclaimed militia The Oath Keepers, or the far-right militia group Three Percenters.  Many are also on the record as being QAnon followers (followers of a disproven far-right conspiracy that started off as a 4chan troll, which states that an anonymous government official, “Q”, is providing information about a cabal of Satan-worshiping, cannibalistic pedophiles in the Democratic party who are running a child sex trafficking ring and plotting against Trump.  Yes, really).

The intentions of BLM were largely peaceful.  BLM protest documents encouraged protesters to be peaceful even in the face of police violence, because the BLM protesters knew what the price of being violent would be.  We were encouraged not to bring weapons or anything that could be misconstrued as a weapon.  Even non-violent protests were met with tear gas, rubber bullets, and riot gear.  A reported 96.3% of 7,305 BLM protests were entirely peaceful (no injuries, no property damage).  The 292 “violent incidents” in question were mainly the toppling of statues of “colonial figures, slave owners, and Confederate leaders”.  There were also several instances of right wing, paramilitary style militia movements discharging firearms into crowds of protesters, and 136 confirmed incidences of right-wing participation at the protests (including members of the aforementioned Boogaloo Boys, Three Percenters, Oath Keepers, and Proud Boys).  It was also rumored that off-duty police were inciting violence (although to my knowledge, that is unconfirmed).  There is no evidence that “antifa” (a decentralized, left-wing, anti-racist and anti-fascist group) played a role in instigating the protests or violence, or even that they had a significant role in the protests at all.  People who were involved in crimes were not ideologically organized, and were largely opportunists taking advantage of the chaos for personal gain.  

By contrast, the “Storm the Capitol” documents were largely violent; messages like, “pack a crowbar,” and “does anyone know if the windows on the second floor are reinforced” were common on far-right social media platforms.  One message on 8kun (formerly 8chan, a website linked to white supremacy, neo-Nazism, the alt-right, etc) stated, "you can go to Washington on Jan 6 and help storm the Capitol....As many Patriots as can be. We will storm the government buildings, kill cops, kill security guards, kill federal employees and agents, and demand a recount."  The speakers at the Trump rally encouraged attendees to see themselves as foot soldiers fighting to save the country, and to be ready to “bleed for freedom”.  The Capitol rioters were mostly armed; rioters were reportedly seen firing pepper spray at police officers, and pipe bombs, molotov cocktails, and guns (including illegal assault rifles) were found on the protesters. One protester was filmed saying, “believe me, we are well armed if we need to be.”  Some protesters arrived in paramilitary regalia, including camo and Kevlar vests.

I quickly want to touch on scale.  The George Floyd BLM protests are thought to be the largest protests in US history, with between 15 and 26 million (largely young, sometimes children, minority) people attending a protest in over 2000 cities in 60 countries.  There were around 14,000 arrests, most being low-level offenses such as violating curfews or blocking roadways. 19 deaths have been reported, largely at the hands of police.  Only one death is known to have been a law enforcement officer.  The number of people who stormed the Capitol is still somewhat unclear, but it seems to be between 2,000 and 8,000 (largely older white, cis, straight, Christian men) people.  80+ people have been arrested for federal crimes, including 25+ who are being charged with domestic terrorism (something nobody associated with BLM is being accused of).  There have been five deaths reported.  One was a police officer, and the other four were rioters.  Of those deaths, one was a police related shooting (a female Air Force veteran).  The other three died of unrelated medical emergencies.  One reportedly had a history of high blood pressure and suffered a heart attack from the excitement.  

Now I want to look at government response.  During the BLM protests, there was a huge response from law enforcement.  200 cities imposed curfews, 30 states and Washington DC activated over 96,000 National Guard, State Guard, 82nd Airborne, and 3rd Infantry Regiment service members.  The deployment was the largest military operation other than war in US history, and it was in response to protests concerning, in part, the militarization of police forces.  The police were outfitted in riot gear.  They used physical force against BLM protesters, including batons, tear gas, pepper spray, and rubber bullets, “often without warning or seemingly unprovoked,” per the New York Times.  Anecdotally, everyone I know now knows how to neutralize pepper spray, treat rubber bullet wounds, build shields out of household items, how to prevent cellphones from being tracked, and how to confuse facial recognition technology to prevent being identified (as six men connected to the Ferguson protests mysteriously turned up dead afterwards, and the police were using cellphone tracking technology).  Amnesty International issued a press release calling for police to end excessive militarized response to the protests.  There were 66 incidents of vehicles being driven into crowds of protesters, 7 of which explicitly involved police officers, the rest of which were by far-right groups.  Over 20 people were partially blinded after being struck with police projectiles.  When the BLM protests were happening, Trump said that, “when the looting starts, the shooting starts.”

In contrast, the response to the Capitol protesters was relatively tame, especially given that the US Capitol’s last breach was over 200 years ago (when British troops set fire to the building during the war of 1812) and the rioters weren’t being shy about their aspirations to conduct an armed insurrection incited by the sitting president.  There was (widely available, able to be found through a Google search, everyone saw it) prior intelligence that far-right, extremist groups were planning on (violently) Storming the Capitol on January 6th, with the intention of interrupting the Electoral College ballot counting and holding lawmakers hostage.  However, the US Capitol Police insisted that a National Guard presence would not be necessary for the protests, and Pentagon officials reportedly restricted DC guard troop from being deployed except as a measure of last resort, and restricted them from receiving ammunition or riot gear.  They were instructed to engage with rioters only in self-defense, and were banned from using surveillance equipment.  Despite prior knowledge of the “protests”, Capitol Police staffing levels mirrored that of a normal day, and no riot control equipment was prepared.  The Capitol Police weren’t in paramilitary gear the way they were for the BLM protests.  The mob walked in to the Capitol with little resistance.  Some scaled walls, some broke down barricades, some smashed windows, and one video even seems to show Capitol Police opening a gate for the mob. Rioters traipsed around the Capitol (one of the most important government buildings in the country) with little resistance, looting and vandalizing offices of Congress members.  Some rioters felt safe enough to give their names to media outlets, livestream their exploits, and take selfies with police officers.  One man was (ironically) carrying a Confederate flag, a symbol of a secession attempt on the part of the South (and of racism). It took 50 minutes for FBI tactical teams to arrive at the scene, and the National Guard were initially directed by Trump not to intervene.  Pence later overturned that ruling and approved the National Guard.  Police used finally used riot gear, shields, smoke grenades, and batons to retake control of the Capitol, but notably no tear gas or rubber bullets.  Video showed rioters being escorted away without handcuffs.  Trump’s response to the riot was, "we love you. You're very special ... but you have to go home." 

This is where I’m going to get a little editorial, but I think it’s important to say.  If the people storming the Capitol Building were Black, they would have been met with a large, pre-coordinated military presence, violent restraint, arrests, and quite possibly would have been shot.  They wouldn’t have made it inside the Capitol, much less been given free rein to wander around without immediate consequence. Hundreds of people during the George Floyd protests were arrested for just being present- 127 protesters were arrested for violating curfew on June 2nd in Detroit alone, twice the number of arrests made during the storming of the US Capitol.  It turns out that the police do know how to use restraint, after all.  What an absolute shock.  It’s almost like they’re a corrupt and racist institution we should get rid off...

The last big thing I want to talk about is the outcome.  The BLM protests were meaningful, but the outcome from them has been tame.  Nobody has been accused of domestic terrorism. State and local governments evaluated their police department policies and made some changes, like banning chokeholds, partially defunding some departments, and passing regulations that departments must recruit in part from the communities they patrol.  Only one city, Minneapolis, pledged to dismantle their police force.  The response has largely been localized.  I think the biggest impact it’s had is introducing people to the concept of police abolition and getting more people involved in the movement.  By contrast, the Capitol riots have resulted in over 25 people being accused of domestic terrorism and the second attempt to impeach Donald Trump, something that has never happened before in the history of the US.  

But what really concerns me is the precedent this sets.  Donald Trump is an idiot, and he’s gotten this far.  We can’t count on the guy who takes his place to be an idiot, too.  The next guy could be clever, strategic, well-spoken, well-mannered... not to invoke Godwin’s law here, but people liked Hitler.  He was a persuasive speaker and capitalized on conspiracy theories about World War 1 to gain support.  His 1923 attempt to overthrow the Bavarian government failed, but sympathy for his aims grew.  He painted himself as a good, moral man who loved dogs and children and was trying to do right by his country (by, among other things, arresting communists and leftists, and then eventually all minorities).  Trump isn’t Hitler.  He’s not even a Hitler analogue.  But Trump has already done this much damage to the fabric of our society.  He’s worn down our relationship with the media, with one another, with democracy, with morality, and with truth itself.  We have to be prepared for the idea that the next guy might be a much better politician.  Getting rid of Trump isn’t the end; it’s the beginning of a fight against fascism that’s only going to grow from here.

There are other differences you could point to.  BLM protesters wore masks to prevent the spread of COVID (and indeed, researchers have reported that the protests did not drive an increase in virus transmission), for example, while the rioters were largely unmasked.  But I think the bottom line is that the millions of BLM protesters were doing their best to be responsible citizens fighting peacefully for an evidence-based, human rights cause, even though they knew that as a primarily minority group of people, they would be met with violence.  The thousands of far-right, white, Capitol insurrectionists were doing their best to overturn a free, fair, safe, and democratic election because of a call to action by Trump and a stringent belief in disproven conspiracy theories, which they knew would be met with minimal resistance despite the severity of their actions.  The insurrectionists are fascists, full stop, and we should call them what they are.  The BLM protesters were by and large just people, of all different political views and motivations, who wanted to fight against something they saw as unjust.  

I’m sorry that this is such a long post. This topic has been on my mind all week, and I wanted to give it the nuance it deserves.  All we can do from here is to keep fighting- for justice, for truth, and, hopefully, for peace.

100 First Meetings (Dialogue Prompts)

1) "Were you the one in the bathroom a second ago trying different lines in the mirror to work up the courage to ask that barista out?" 2) "Wow, you're cute." 3) "You come here often?" "This is a morgue." 4) "You! What the hell are you doing in here? We're closed!" 5) "Ahhhh! I hate my fucking life!!!" "Mood." 6) "You have magic?!" 7) "You don't look like you'll last a day here." 8) "You should leave before your date gets back from the bathroom, I saw them in here the other day popping the question to two different people." 9) "They never told me they had a younger brother/sister." 10) "Who's the twink?" 11) "I gotta ask, are you mad about something or is your face just /like that?/" 12) "You're my new roommate?" 13) "You're not married are you?" 14) "Hey, you're not dead are you? Cause I'm on probation and I can't afford to be involved in a fucking murder or something." 15) "So you're the one causing all this trouble." 16) "I need you to pretend we're dating so this dude will leave me alone." 17) "Honey, there you are I've been looking all over for you! Pretend you're with me so this person will go away." 18) "So you're the loud moaner from upstairs, huh, never knew you'd be so cute." 19) "You're not the pizza guy." 20) "You know, when I said I wish the love of my life would just fall out of the sky this isn't exactly what I had in mind." 21) "Any particular reason you're putting peanut butter in my kid's hair?" 22) "You made me dinner?" 23) "You've got the wrong room, but feel free to stay naked." 24) "You must be the motherfucker who broke my windshield!" 25) "Hi, you are very naked." 26) "You their new toy?" 27) "How'd you like to make fifty bucks?" 28) "I know I'm going to regret asking but who are you?" 29) "You got any friends?" "No." "Well you do now, come sit with us!" 30) "Cute face, I'd love to sit on it sometime." 31) "Where'd you find this dork?" 32) "Uh, there any particular reason you're screaming at two thirty-six in the morning? 33) "Out of curiosity, do you think you could lift a dead body?" 34) "If you don't let go of this bag of chips I swear to god I'll bring you to your knees in the middle of this fucking WinnDixie." 35) "WHO THE FUCK ATE THE LAST OF THE FUCKIN DORITOS, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL-oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know we had a guest. If I'd known we had a guest I would've cleaned." 36) "Are you the vegan cannibal? Because I have so many questions." 37) "Ooh, hello Mommy/Daddy. Fuck, did I just say that out loud?" 38) "Am I dead? Are you an angel? Am I in heaven?" "Actually you're in a taco bell, you tried to do a kick flip on your skateboard in the parking lot and hit your head on the side of the dumpster." 39) "You brought a fucking guest to our SECRET BASE?! I'll deal with you later. Hi, hello, it's very nice to meet you please make yourself at home!" 40) "So, you gay or what?" 41) "No, sorry, we don't want any girl scout cookies." 42) "Holy shit, you just saved my fucking life!" 43) "Hey, honey, it's just me. You were in a really bad accident so don't try moving around too much, okay? How are you feeling?" "You called me honey. Do I know you?" 44) "Jesus, your face is about as red as your hair." 45) "Run along little ballerina, you wouldn't want to be caught hanging around the bad kids, would you?" 46) "No, I'm not the stripper, but I can be if you'd like." 47) "You ready to cut open some bodies?" 48) "Get in if you want to live." 49) "What are you looking at, short stack? Mind your own business." 50) "Your headphones aren't plugged in properly so I can hear everything you're listening to. I was going to tell you earlier but then you started watching the weirdest porn I've ever seen and I didn't want to embarrass you, but I'm about to leave so I figured I'd tell you before someone else sits around you." 51) "I don't know what they've told you but we don't need another member, go home." 52) "Hey, stop right there, you can't steal that! That's illegal!" 53) "Who's the nerd?" 54) "You look like the kind of person who wears days of the week underwear." 55) "So, how many pitchers of margaritas are you allowed to sell me?" 56) "My head fucking kills, I shouldn't have drank last night. Hey, wait, why do you and I have matching rings on our fingers?!" 57) "Congratulations, idiot! You just ruined a six month plan and now we have to start all over!" 58) "That is the ugliest shirt I've ever seen, where can I get one just like it?" 59) "I know you make straight A's, but I'm still not sure if you're really smart or dumb but really lucky. Because I've seen someone ask you what the square root of pi is and you answer with 'I don't know, I guess it depends on the flavor.'" 60) "Who the fuck let you in?" 61) "Hey, I'll give you twenty bucks if you take a photo with me to make my ex jealous." 62) "So, you eat ass or what?" 63) "You a cop?" "No." "Too bad, you would have looked good in a uniform." 64) "With a face like that I'll be whoever you want me to be." 65) "Hey, you have eyes, do you think this outfit makes me look fat? You can be honest, I can handle it." 66) "I'm just looking for a nice person to settle down with who'll fuck me hard and tell me they love me when they cum on my face, like, I feel like that's not too fucking much to ask for, you know? Anyway, I'll have a diet coke and the chicken salad, please." 67) "I swear to god, this is not what it looks like." 68) "First of all, don't you fucking come in here and try and start a fight with my best friend while you're looking straight goofy as hell in those fucking Walmart shorts and those thrift store crocs." 69) "HEY! YOU ACROSS THE STREET! YOUR DOG IS SO FUCKING CUTE AND I WOULD FUCKING DIE FOR THEM!" 70) "Anyone who says they don't like musicals is either lying to themselves, has never watched one, or is a heartless android sent by the government to blend into society and collect information about us." 71) "Asking someone out is easy, watch this. Hi, I think you're cute and if you're not seeing anyone do you want to go out sometime?" 72) "Hey, I saw you crying earlier when you stepped on a bug. Do you need me to, like, call someone for you?" 73) "I can't tell if you're really high and just hungry or if you're buying 28 family bags of shredded cheese at three am because you just love cheese. Either way you should probably also buy some laxatives or lactaid while you're already here." 74) "When I told you to make a power point about something you're passionate about for our first class meeting I didn't mean make a power point on 'How to Give Great Head' and I absolutely didn't tell you to include pictures." 75) "Are you wearing that tacky ass outfit because you genuinely like it or because you're a Leo and crave the attention?" 76) "Did you really just buy the last chocolate chocolate chip muffin? You are now dead to me." 77) "The fuck are you looking at loser?" 78) "Dude, books are just like subtitles without the movie." 79) "Hey, in your tinder bio is says your friends call you Badger Slammin' Sam and I literally only swiped right just to find out why." 80) "Are you hitting on me? Am I being punked? Are you a hooker? Did my dumbass friend put you up to this?" 81) "Hey, I need you to settle something for me and my friend. Which is the right way to pronounce carrot?" 82) "Do you believe in love at first sight, what about disgust at first glance?" 83) "Look, I'm not saying that MCR's last album changed my life, but I'm absolutely saying that." 84) "Can you move out of my way, I have to clean puke off the floor before I'm allowed to use my lunch break to cry in my car." 85) "Hi, I believe this very drunk person is your roommate, they told me this is the address. I caught them in my backyard playing with my dog again." 86) "I know you're probably not allowed to do this, but I kind of need to borrow an iguana." 87) "Hey, I saw you drop your sandwich in the parking lot earlier and start crying and I felt bad for not saying anything earlier, but I went to the sandwich shop and luckily the dude remembered your oddly specific order so I got you another one. I hope you get to feeling better." 88) "No, we don't sell 'that crazy kush' here, you can try Target." 89) "I was just calling because you sent me a picture text three weeks ago by accident with the caption 'When they let you deliver the digiorno after you clap them cheeks.' and I was just wondering if you could explain what that means because it's been keeping me up at night ever since you sent it." 90) "Hey, I just overheard you talking with your friends about how you put mustard, ketchup, and ranch on your macaroni and cheese and I just wanted to come over here and personally ask you which circle of hell you crawled up from." 91) "What the fuck is a diet water?" 92) "You guys here for the orgy?" 93) "Was that your scream? Why did it sound like a banshee?" 94) "I saw you pour two five hour energy shots into a cup of coffee earlier and then proceed to mix it with monster and red bull and like, dude I know this isn't really my place or whatever but I think you should probably go to the hospital. Like, I think you're gonna die." 95) "Your profile said you're a vegan but my profile says 'Only contact if you eat ass' and you contacted me, so what's the truth here?" 96) "Call me adorable one more time and I'll knock your teeth down your fucking throat." 97) "Move, I have to go fail my Stats test before I can go home and cry into a bag of hot cheetos while I rewatch The Office." 98) "I'm sorry, did you just order a fifty piece mcnugget for here, for yourself?" 99) "So, how do you feel about lizards?" 100) "Question, are you a top or a bottom, because you're giving off major power bottom energy but I'm not one hundred percent sure."

Screw Robinson’s ranking. What’s your ranking of the secondary students?

Oooooo yes, I think it’s about time we get a more objective point of view around here don’t we? Now, my sources tell me that the Ashleys’ ranking system was based on a combination of style, looks, and...personality or cool points or something like that. I’m assuming that Wilbur is using about the same system and so I will honor it, but I’ll add it all up to a score out of 30 in the end! 

also this took so long will someone please venmo me a quid for coffee or something 

Bae “Nemo” Nam-min

Looks: 8/10 he’s legit hottie when he actually puts effort in 

Style: 4/10 leaves MUCH to be desired. He has two looks-- sweatpants or skinny jeans. With a friend like Finn, you’d think he’d be more educated

Personality: 7/10 He’s very easy to be friends with, but an airhead and drama magnet. Don’t be fooled by the smile-- he’s more trouble than he looks!

Overall score: 19/30, or about a 6.33 on the old scale. 

Ferbs Fletcher

Looks: 9/10 LEGS LEGS LEGS LEGS LEGS. points off for hair rip 

Style: 4/10 why are all men fashion-challenged, why are all boys addicted to the skinny 

Personality: 5/10 I honestly don’t know what to make out of Ferb b/c he’s more of a tall, mysterious type, so I’m giving him a very neutral score here. If he opened his mouth more, I might like him less. 

Overall score: 18/30! 6 even! 

Mei Kusakabe 

Looks: 8/10 EEEE she’s a real cutie with serious selfie game! 

Style: 9/10 As you all know, I’m super obsessed with her look! Point deducted for those misses, which are SERIOUS misses. Miss Mei needs to float some of those looks past a panel before strutting into school and embarrassing herself. 

Personality: 6/10 Here’s where she’s losing points and it’s because she talks to ghosts. Mei! Ignore them, jfc! Save it for your free time! 

Overall score: 23/30-- a 7.6! 

Jack-Jack Parr

Looks: 5/10 oh boy does JJ Parr need an intervention. I just don’t understand why so many boys’ mothers don’t teach them how to properly care for their hair. Honey, you need to be using a special shampoo and a mousse for those curls!! ldsajflk let me help you 

Style: 2/10 ooooh boy does JJ Par need an invention. Everything he wears looks like hand-me-downs from Dash. It was cool when Dash wore it... several years ago! 

Personality: 6/10 I think he’s funny! He’s nice! He’s um, creative! Like if I went to secondary and got paired with him on a group project, I would absolutely be doing most of the work but at least he’d probably try. Maybe? Well. I could think of people who I would want to work with less.  

Overall score: 14/30 --4.6! 

Su Qin

Looks: 7/10. My problem here has everything to do with the weird staring thing. We all know the weird staring thing. None of us like the weird staring thing. 

Style: 7/10. I like her style as I’ve said before! I think she’s super unique, but I also think she could go just that extra step further. 

Personality: 2/10. Oh honey. I hate having to score you so low, but right now your personality is if Mei’s personality was a sandwich, you’d be the crusts that no one wants to eat. 

Overall score: 16/30-- 5.3 

Brandon “Barrel” Adamson

Looks: 5/10. PLEASE CUT UR HAIR CUT UR HAIR CUT UR HAIR. There’s a cute boy under there somewhere! 

Style: 2/10 Barrel knows one colour and that colour is black. His clothes also don’t seem to fit him very well. Hey Wilbur, can you do something about this?

Personality: 2/10. It’s only fair to give him a similar score as Su, since they like each other so much. He is also the leftover crusts to Lock’s personality sandwich. 

Overall score: 9/30-- a 3. Ouch. 

Romeo “Roo” DeRosa

Looks: 8/10. He is extremely good-looking! Like that’s a smile that is doing him every favour in the world. I can certainly see why he lured an Ashley in. 

Style: 6/10. ugh all these teenage boys exhaust me with their lack of style why even bother having this as a category. what kills me is Roo’s shoes are never clean, like they’re caked with mud. Wash off your shoes!! 

Personality: 8/10. I have almost no complaints with Romeo. He’s a sweet boy, he’s hardworking, he’s funny and even talented! I also think he’s kind of gullible...might even go with stupid. You’d have to be to knock up Ashley A. 

Overall score: 22/30-- 7.3! 

Finn Flounder

Looks: 9/10 hELLO face personally i dont understand why we have not talked about Finn’s face sooner and also more, like we just have dedicated Finn Face Appreciation Time, like, I’m talking artistically speaking is anyone else with me or

Style: 10/10 Colour! Variety! Texture! Pattern! Finn knows how to pick a concept and nail it, and he makes so much of his own clothes! 

Personality: 1/10 oh right this is why we don’t talk about his face, it’s because his personality is the equivalent of the puddle of water you squeeze out of a dishrag. He is such a sweet boy with no spine whatsoever. It drive me CRaZY.

Overall score: 20/30-- 6.6 

Phineas Flynn

Looks: 7/10. He is cute! He has a perfectly pleasant face with nice features. He is tall, though not as tall as Ferb. He looks, in a word, harmless. 

Style: 5/10. Once again, he looks like his mother dresses him, and I mean sometimes that’s a blessing because who knows what he’d look like if his mother didn’t dress him, but way to look like 95% of the teenage male population. 

Personality: 6/10. Phineas is charming, but only if you talk to him for about 20 minutes. After twenty minutes, there’s this quality in his voice that will worm inside your head and get stuck there. It’s like nails on the chalkboard. Once you hit forty minutes, you’ll realize he’s still talking (though you haven’t said anything in over twenty minutes), and that he really loves to hear himself talk so then it just becomes an exercise in watching Phineas impress himself. 

Overall score: 18/30--6, like his brother. Appropriate! 

Haley Long

Looks: 8/10. She’s hella cute! She’s got to be, sharing the genes of one hottie Jake Long! 

Style: 8/10. She’s got the whole ‘am i gay’ vibe going for her, which I love. I love when I can’t tell, when it’s like, does she like flannel, or is an avid fan of Lost Girl? She went with Ashley A to prom, so I mean we know she’s at least a LITTLE wlw--I’m getting off track, the point is, I’m into her masculine-feminine energies. 

Personality: 5/10. Hayley confuses me. Like, on one hand--she went to prom with Ashley A so maybe she’s an insane person. On the other hand, she ended up with Vee at the end of prom, so maybe...oh yeah, she’s still an insane person. She feels unpredictable, and maybe in a good way, but also maybe I need to run for my life. Haven’t decided! 

Overall score: 21/30-- 7! 

Dewford “Dewey” Mallard

Looks: 5/10. The Mallard boys are very interesting looking to me, like they have some of the most beautiful hair in Secondary but they prove time and time again they have absolutely no idea what to do with it. They’re also tall, but so skinny, like slendermen. Would like to enroll them all in a zumba class, maybe even yoga. 

Style: 5/10. I’ll be honest, my eyes glaze over when I look at Dewey/Huey b/c the only difference between them is the general colour scheme. I like that they do TRY for some individuality. 

Personality: 4/10. Dewey is...quiet. And weird. And alone a lot. He actually concerns me a little bit, like is he okay...? It’s not really my job to know, but it should be someone’s! 

Overall score: 14/30-- 4.6 

Hubert “Huey” Mallard

Looks: 5/10 please see above 

Style: 5/10 please see above

Personality: 8/10. I like to think of Huey as the capable, family-friendly Mallard. He’s like a glass of milk with a chocolate biscuit. Everyone likes it, even if it’s not everyone’s favourite dessert. I mean, he’s smart, interesting, he has a wide group of friends! If I had to choose anyone to be put on a group project with, it would be Huey Mallard 

Overall score: 18/30-- 6!  

Llewellyn “Louie” Mallard

Looks: 5/10. u know what to do 

Style: 7/10. GASP. Yes! A decent score! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Louie tries to have a unique style. He experiments, he’s not scared of looking like an idiot--he often looks like an idiot-- but he at least intrigues me. And next to so many boys who literally don’t know what they’re doing, he really stands out from the pack. 

Personality: 6/10. While Huey is family-friendly, Louie is an acquired taste. You might really like all those wacky Louie antics, or maybe you’re allergic! He’s definitely trouble all the way around, so my personal opinion is that he’s best in small doses.

Overall score: 18/30-- 6! 

Moon Yeongtae

Looks: 7/10. He pisses me off actually because he’s genuinely quite a handsome boy who is genuinely trying to look as un-handsome as possible. I should put this way lower out of sheer spite, but I want to encourage the rest of the teen population to exercise because at least Tae has that going for himself. Take the Mallards to the gym, Tae!

Style: 3/10. He also only knows the colour black and I think I’ve seen him in jeans three times in my life. I’ve never seen a boy so dedicated to sweatpants as a personality trait

Personality: 5/10. Speaking of personality, sweatpants isnt a personality trait! What’s his other personality trait? Arguing with people? Grunting? 

Overall score: 15/30-- 5. 

Pearl Park 

Looks: 10/10. YES our first perfect score! But is there any question when you have a face like that? Just check out her insta. The likes speak for themselves. She’s GLOWING, she’s RADIANT, she’s going to bring this school to its knees

Style: 8/10. Obviously she has more style than 80 percent of this list. It’s only this low because we haven’t seen her full potential yet, or so I like to think. She’s playing it very safe, even if she’s playing it in her own league. I would like to see her push the envelope!

Personality: 7/10. Once again, this is low because we are still getting to know the alluring Miss Park. She seems to be super nice! No enemies yet. But I know there’s something spicy hiding under all the new girl niceties. I would also like to see it! 

Overall score: 25/30-- 8.3

Pip Seville

Looks: 7/10. Personally, I like he’s adorable! He might not be topping any Most Handsome Buzzfeed lists anytime soon nor is he anyone’s secret crush but we love a boy who had good hygiene and perfect skin! 

Style: 9/10. Yes yes yes!!! He might be a theatre kid cliche, but I’ll take one of those over another awful pair of joggers! Pip would never wear all black unless he’s in tech rehearsal, and we respect that. 

Personality: 6/10. Soooo he’s pretty loud and a bit of a risk, like if you partnered with him on a school project, the odds of you getting an A are very high, but the odds of you crying by the end of it because you didn’t meet his expectations are also very high. So you know....take your chances. 

Overall score: 23/30-- 7.6! 

Wilbur Robinson

Looks: 8/10. Well OBVIOUSly Wilbur is a hottie. Did I deduct points for his new hair. Maybe I did. 

Style: 9/10. FINALLYYYY Yet another boy who can dress and dress well! It helps that he can afford nice things of course, but you also have to know how to WEAR the nice things, and Wilbur does. 

Personality: 7/10. Wilbur is funny, opinionated, stubborn, a go-getter, generous, and these days, even charitable (those are two different things). Does Wilbur have flaws? Sure. But from what I’ve seen in my ask box, people can’t decide what those flaws are. Is he ... too nice? No wait, he’s actually too mean! He’s an asshole, oh wait, he’s a simp for Barrel. Bla bla bla. Point is, if you add everything up, he’s a decent dude. I don’t agree with all his choices, but I’d also rather hang out with Wilbur than most people on this list! 

Overall score: 24/30-- an 8! 

Ariel Triton

Looks: 4/10. Boy did the Tritons really mess it up on this one!! I love the pixie cut, but Ariel always lets it grow too long and doesn’t keep up with it. It’s like at this point just shave your head-- tbh, i bet you’d look pretty good. 

Style: 4/10. BOY of all the girls she really has no idea what she’s doing either. I admire Alana and Adella deeply for letting Ariel find herself in her own time. I’m just hoping it’s going to work out at this point, maybe we’ll transition from Dumpster Girl to punk rock when they actually get the band going. 

Personality: 6/10. You know, I have a healthy level of respect for Ariel. Some people will say she is too fightey, but she stands up for her friends and her beliefs! I’m into that. I mean, she’s usually wrong, but at least she has conviction. 

Overall score: 14/30-- 4.6 

What are the best spoken English coaching institutes in Delhi or Noida?

Communication is the most incredible tool of interaction among individuals, but sometimes language becomes a barrier in the process of effective communication. English as a global language has become a necessity for every individual, especially for job seekers.

The corporate world always looks for smart individuals who have good English speaking skills. Though that's not the case everywhere, most of the time, not knowing English does become a barrier in getting a job.

In such situations, one must remember that English is just a language like any other. You can learn to write and speak English at any point in your life. Numerous spoken English coaching institutes offer various types of spoken English courses according to your needs. Varying constructively in course content, facilities, and fee structure, the most popular spoken English institutes in Delhi and Noida are British councils, Inlingua, Engmates, Peptalk India, BELS, SpokenMate, Euguroo, Oxford School of English, etc.

It might be a confusing and arduous task to choose the best-suited institute as per your needs. To select the best-suited course by the best institute, one has to check the essential parameters that make an institute and course best.

The course must provide a holistic experience in learning. By the end of the course, a trainee will be able to confidently speak English, deliver English speeches, excel in group discussions and personal interviews, write a resume and professional emails in English, etc.

The parameters to look for while choosing a spoken English institute are Course curriculum, Accreditation, certificates, course span, and fee structure. The perfect course will provide a combination of all these characters. The course curriculum must comprise of everything or at least most of the things that you need to learn for a successful future.

The contents of the course must be checked thoroughly.: it is essential to enroll yourself in a reputed institute that is recognized by a standard independent body that provides an industry-recognized certificate. Long courses do not imply to better learning. Look for a quality course in a short period. I did my spoken English course from SpokenMate, which appealed to me in terms of excellence.

After thorough research and recommendations, I found the English speaking courses by SpokenMate excellent in terms of course content, faculty, and fee structure. SpokenMate offers a variety of spoken English courses starting from beginner to advance level English courses.

SpokenMate also offers a personality development course. The IELTS( International English language testing system) is designed to assess English language skills, and a general IELTS training course is also provided to enhance English speakers if they are likely to move to an English speaking country.

I was at first hesitant about the institute. I was also confused among the courses. So I registered myself on their website and soon received a call for a free demo. The free demo spoken English class was very helpful for me to select the right course. I confidently enrolled in my desired course.

Excellent and experienced trainers of SpokenMate made the learning experience divine and extremely enjoyable. I took up the Spoken English for working professionals by SpokenMate, which was perfect for my needs. The lessons and knowledge and skills acquired from the course have helped me excel in my professional as well as improved my personal life. The course was a boon for my professional life and brought me achievements, rewards, and promotions.

The courses in SpokenMate are designed according to an advanced principle called the Pareto principle. This principle is an advanced 80/20 theory, which implies an 80 percent result for 20 percent of quality effort. A revision module at a regular interval called the spaced repetition technique is applied as a part of training so that the students do not forget lessons.

The best part about SpokenMate is that, once you become a member of the family, you're forever a member. After I completed my course, I had some doubts about two of my technical lessons. SpokenMate in complementary classes gave a very vivid explanation of the lessons, and I'll be forever grateful to that.

SpokenMate gives practical and on-site training by taking the students to various restaurants, hotels, malls, and educational institutions where trainees are trained on how to approach strangers for professional communication and how to start and end effective conversations. SpokenMate also provides an online mode of training for those who can't attend in-class training.

My personal experience with SpokenMate has been remarkable and worthy of my time. After my successful course completion, I was rewarded with an industry-recognized certificate. SpokenMate is the reason that I am confidently writing this answer. Not only have I learned there but also made some great friends who still help me with my professional life. I'd recommend SpokenMate without any doubt and hesitation.

tag games, ftw

I was tagged by both @rampagewriting and @heelsamizayn to answer this and it seems like a fun time and my brain’s being a bag of dicks rn, so whhhhy not... Here we go.

0) Name/Nickname? If ya wanna share it.

Ashley, AA, Snark - mostly on here. Oh and lil bit, but... family only.

1) If you could bring any two fictional characters (from books or film/tv) into the same world who would they be, what world would you put them in, and what would their relationship to each other be?

Uhhh... Uhhh... Okay, alright, hm... This is going to be an unconventional answer but.. I’d take Bucky and Cap and I’d drop them right into the middle of The Walking Dead. Hear me out.. They’re both military trained / enhanced superheroes and they can walk that line of having compassion and being totally ruthless if they must. I think it’d be neat. They’d be friends / psuedo brothers, of course.

2) If you could drop yourself into any fictional world from books or film/tv, which would it be?

Oh god, oh noooo.. Every part of the fifteen year old trapped within my old woman body is screaming at me to answer Harry Potter -cos magic.. But.. I’m going with The Walking Dead. Just for the simple fact that I could smack both Lori and Dale Horvath in the back of the fuckin head.

Alternately.. I’d really wanna hunt vampires with Edgar and Allen Frog, and the eighties were my shit, so.. That too.

3) What’s your spirit animal?

A cat or a raccoon. I have under eye circles, stay up late, eat only junk and I’ll bite if you take my food plus kinda chonky ( raccoon) and I like to take naps, I’m... adamant about cleaning / grooming plus, I like to sit around and give people side eye when they’re doing dumb shit. ( cat.)

4) What is the most unpopular opinion you hold?

NO. NOPE. NOT ANSWERING. ISSA TRAP.

Okay, since I obviously have to put something here, I’ll say it. And I’ll start with wrestling:

Seth Rollins is vastly overrated and I don’t get the whole.. Attraction to him. And the same goes for Cody Rhodes. Also, is it just me or are his fucking intros too long? Idk, maybe that’s me and my lack of patience. If you like either of these, sorry, continue to do you, but.. I’m not a fan and I honestly don’t particularly care about either and this is my own personal opinion. I’m allowed to have one. I’m not saying bad shit about either guy here, if you take it that way, it’s your own damn problem? I’m not telling you not to like them. I’m simply saying I do not.

As far as media goes : Fifty Shades of Gray is fucking dumb. I mean.. 10 page contract.. to get what has to be mediocre dick, at best? And it’s not even written with any regards to true BDSM concepts for the most part? Nah. I’ll pass. 

And now, for one about our current situation: I think the idiots who hoarded TP at the beginning of this should be allowed to return things.. Provided it’s unopened, they have a receipt, and they don’t see a fucking dime of the money they spent and that the money from the returns goes to masks / other methods of protection for front line workers or straight into the unemployment packages and the stimulus thing. Like literally, the hoarder gets nothing, people who need TP / sanitizer / etc get UNOPENED NEW PRODUCTS and the front line workers get the proceeds of the voided returns. We all win here. (I realize this probably cannot happen, but. It’s one way to kind of... help this current shit show we’re all trapped in.) 

5) How do you like to style your hair most often?

Uhh.. Down. I’m too goddamn lazy to be bothered.

6) I always love this overdone question - you’re allowed three books on a desert island, what do you bring? (Note: Survival Guides don’t count).

The Shining, The Dark Towers series - Stephen King, The Client - John Grisham and The Outsiders - S.E Hinton

7) Something new you’ve learned in quarantine/lockdown/corona times?

That no matter how hard I try, I cannot apply false lashes. That more than two noisy things going in the background is TOO MUCH. Oh and I’m pretty damn good at baking when I bother to try / don’t toss out the directions.

8) Favorite alcohol? (Or non-alcoholic beverage if you don’t drink!)

Haven’t drank in... a while-ish. But my favorite thing to drink when I do is vodka or tequila. Occasionally White Claw ( i know, i know.). Favorite non-alcoholic beverage is water lately.

9) Music you can’t stand? Music you love?

I’m gonna get torn the fuck apart for this but yolo.. I can’t get into K-Pop. I’ve tried. It’s just.. It’s up there with new pop for me. Older boy bands / pop stars? Not a problem. I just don’t like a lot of pop music and I can’t get into K-pop. If you like it, awesome. It’s just not for me personally. Beyond that? I love literally any other kind of music. I have a veeeery varied eclectic listening preference but my all time favorite? 80′s glam / pop or country.

10) Have a favorite herb?

FIRST OF ALL.. GARLIC.. yeah, it’s not a herb buuuut... yeah.. Anyway, for actual herbs..Basil, Rosemary and Sage.. Oh and cilantro. Cilantro will save your ass in a pinch. 

11) What kinds of cups/glasses/bottles do you prefer to drink out of?

My big tol cold cup. Or.. my stemless plastic wine glasses, of which I have apparently lost.

12) Preferred mode of communication: texts, phone calls, emails, letters?

Text or email. I’m not... fond of making calls, but I will if I have to. I prefer texts or email. Oh, I do enjoy writing letters now and then.

13) What is your favorite weather?

Not too hot, not too cold. Not too sunny but not overcast and gray either. A light breeze. NO POLLEN.

14) What kind of lighting do you like?

Softer lights, for the aesthetic.. Overhead lighting, so my blind ass can... yannow... see. If I had my way, I’d have candles and string lights every where though.

15) What is the best thing you cook?

Honestly, I feel like it’s my chili or my stew. Alternately, husband seems to ask for chicken / bacon / ranch pasta casserole a lot, so... Idk.. I guess pretty much anything (except fucking hamburger helper, i can NEVER get this shit right, despite directions, sacrifices to the culinary gods and pleas/promises of my first born. It always turns out icky so I never cook it.) 

16)  Do you have a favorite font to write in?

Handwriting or typewriter fonts for the most part. Roboto when I’m writing / editing my own fics and such.

17) What is something you’ve always wanted to write in a fic, but you’ve been too afraid to? Or, what is something that you were afraid to write, but then you did and it ended awesome?

Honestly, I’m scared to death to write smut. Which is why I’ve been trying to write more of it lately. I won’t say it’s going awesome ( I’m pretty sure some of you sit and read it when I post and are like what the fuck... this isn’t realistic and this is so bad.) but it’s going.

I’ve wanted to dip my toes into writing for more obscure fandoms too. Like ones that I personally enjoy. As far as something I’ve always wanted to write? Horror. But I’m scared to death I’d fuck it up.

18) If you were in your favorite fantasy world, what would your weapon of choice be?

A sword or a knife. Machete, maybe?

19) Is there a commonly used expression/saying that you can’t stand?

While I agree with the answers J and K put to this “It’s in God’s hands, etc” - sometimes things are GOD AWFUL. The last thing I want to hear is what the reason God had for doing it is. So don’t tell me. 

Triggered is a useful term.. if it’s used right. And I’m starting to realize that 95 percent of people DO NOT know the proper use. They think that being triggered =‘s a reason to bitch and tear someone apart over some miniature thing they’ve done. So now, when I hear it being misused, it fucking annoys me.

20) What is something that you would like people to know about you?

I’m a grumpy ball of rage. I’m petty as fuck and saltier than all the oceans combined in the right circumstances. But.. I can be a nice person and I love getting to know people and helping people or talking to them. Even if it’s hard for me to start it off bc I’m fucking awkward as fuck also - hence the reason it takes a while for me to actually... attempt... conversing with new people both IRL and on here.

I’m gonna leave this open to anyone who wants to do it bc Idk who has or hasn’t already and I don’t want to annoy people. 

This was a blast!

AARP Health Insurance : Why AARP wants you?

AARP Health Insurance: Even though a ferocious debate climbs in Washington on the future of healthcare, you've got a more serious problem: the best way to cover your medical bills without going bankrupt -- better yet, without having to give your health membership. For anybody not insured under a company's policy, the answer usually lies in the hunt for a most inexpensive medical insurance program, and, as you become older, Medicare supplemental insurance or Medigap and long-term care insurance.

Anyone, who over the age of 50 (over 65 to get Medigap) is qualified to buy those 3 products through AARP, the advocacy business, that's also an important participant in the insurance marketplace. The company collects $400 million annually in fees for lending its name to several private policies, but since AARP's financial products have not always lived around the group's mission of looking out to their 40 million associates, MoneyWatch.com has explored how good these policies are.

When speaking to almost a dozen pros and comparing estimates from 50+ firms, here is our closing: AARP health policies, although infrequently the cheapest, are aggressive, and perhaps the best way for you in the event you have health issues. Its long-term-care health insurance warrants checking out due to its low rates and the fiscal strength of its spouse, Genworth Financial.

Medicare Made Easy using MyAARPMedicare

Nonetheless, it isn't easy to state whether anybody's insurance policy is totally the best one for you for two reasons: Whether you're going to have the ability to purchase these kinds of policies, and at what cost, frequently is dependent on your own wellbeing. Additionally, each nation has its own regulations & rules on the kind of policy carriers could offer and the way they can choose which customers to take.

Affordable health insurance has been part of AARP's assignment since the group began over 50 years back. Ethel Percy Andrus, AARP's founder, was appalled that retired teachers had inadequate medical care policy. But, there were missteps on the way.

After Sen. Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, increased concerns in 2008 regarding if AARP Health Insurance policies dupe customers into believing they provided more security than they did, AARP suspended earnings. In a PPO, the insurer contracts with selected hospitals and doctors to provide services at a discount. It's likely to seek good care of outside the neighborhood, but you pay more.

The Premier Plans resemble routine workplace policies. They cover 80 percent of the purchase price of preventative care, prescription drugs, doctor visits and hospitalization within the machine, the moment you have insured your own allowance. These comprehensive plans are the most expensive and therefore are generally best for AARP members who need coverage for their dependent children.

High-Deductible Health Plans compatible with tax-sheltered Health Savings Accounts (HSAs) offer lower premiums but place more financial obligation concerning the insured. You cover the whole network cost of doctor visits, lab tests and hospital admissions round the deductible. Therefore you're essentially trading low premiums for higher regular costs. 

These programs will likely be ideal for your very own self indulgent, who may gain from the tax advantages of an HSA, and people in good health who generally cover a visit to the doctor only a couple of times each year.

Preventative and Hospital Programs are the most affordable because they provide coverage only for nausea and inpatient operation. You cover the whole network prices for doctor visits and prescriptions (besides generics) in the pocket; they don't count from the allowance. And additionally you also pay 20 percent of this bill after the allowable for hospital admissions and lab tests. These apps are greatest in the event you would love to keep premiums down, but nevertheless, have security for catastrophic care. They aren't a replacement for comprehensive medical insurance.

All these health insurance policy have four attributes worth noting:

Unhealthy Conditions: Though AARP/Aetna inquires you all of the healthcare questions other insurance firms do, you are more prone to find cheap coverage than with competitions when you've got elevated blood pressure, higher cholesterol or are obese. That's because AARP is much more pliable. As the comparison below shows, a healthy person won't always cover more with AARP compared to other insurance providers, however.

Medical History: AARP/Aetna seems to your health care history for preexisting conditions within only the last five decades, maybe not the industry-standard 10 decades. This might be advantageous if you, say, had a heart attack over five decades ago and therefore are completely recovered.

Dependents: AARP/Aetna allows AARP members guarantee their inheritance even if they don't purchase policy for themselves. This is sometimes helpful if your employer doesn't offer family coverage.

Preventive Care: Each of the apps, for instance, high-deductible and preventative hospital programs, cover an yearly physical, a prostate exam for guys along with a mammogram and gynecological evaluation for girls, along with flu shots to receive a low $20 to $40 co-pay, based on the plan. Normally, preventative and behavioral programs require policyholders to foot the entire bill. Aetna also waives the allowance for a colonoscopy once every 10 years at its own Premier plan, as well as the high-deductible plans cost only a 20 percent co-pay for its procedure.

For our price check below, working collectively with eHealthInsurance.com, we grapple the 3 types of AARP/Aetna policies against opponents to get a healthy married couple into their mid-50s, residing in Georgia with a kid in college. We chose Georgia because most insurance companies sell PPO policies. (Remember: These are only bottom rates; before a medical insurance policy problem a policy, it's likely to analyze your medical history and establish rates accordingly.)

MyAARPMedicare Login wasn't necessarily the least expensive but was normally among those lowest-priced choices. 1 significant note: Assessing the bottom rates of wellness programs is simply a beginning stage. Every strategy in these head-to-head comparisons put its own twist on co-pays, doctor visits, and prescriptions. "You can't do an apples-to-apples comparison in case you don't ascertain whether the benefits and coverage constraints will be precisely the same."

Here, AARP was one of the lowest priced in the 5,000 allowance and $3,000 allowable classes.

AARP had the lowest premiums and deductibles, a rare twofer, among those apps that provide the smallest amount of policy.

AARP/Aetna was among the lowest $5,000 and $1,500 allowance programs, but the center of the bundle to acquire the 2,500 program.

AARP Supplemental Insurance is designed to safeguard you in places where Medicare drops short. There are 13 federally standardized applications -- Approaches A through L. They supply more protection as you work your way throughout the bible, jointly with Strategy F being the very popular because of its own benefits and budget. Basically, Medigap is a merchandise: You get the very same benefits no matter your own condition or insurer. Even though the advantages are equal from carrier to carrier, you will find dramatic differences in price and client services.

Things you Want to know before buying the AARP Insurance

And AARP has staked its turf outside at a few other Significant ways:

Last year, AARP/UnitedHealthcare approved 99.94 percent of applicants. The only reason it denies coverage is chronic kidney disease. By comparison, lots of AARP's competitions base premiums on your age and your health, which means you might be denied or charged if you have obtained a preexisting disease.

Customer support AARP works a 24-hour toll-free (888-543-5630) staffed by agents who will inform you about hospitals and dentists locally, and counsel you about what to ask your doctor about potential procedures. AARP/UnitedHealthcare also says it pays 98 percent of claims within 10 days.

Unlike a lot of Medigap insurance firms, who place premiums in accordance with your current age (attained-age score ) or your age after you purchase the policy (issue-age), AARP/UnitedHealthcare uses community evaluation anyplace it's sold. Meaning it costs exactly the exact same premiums to each of policyholders, no matter age, gender or health. "A community-rated policy may cost you a little more when you're younger," says Burns,"but it often costs less after you get old".

The main thing, says Burns, is the AARP/UnitedHealthcare Medigap apps"can be a really fantastic deal, and they're more prone to be a wonderful bargain for older people who have health issues" In countries where many insurers use attained-age evaluation, AARP gets cost-competitive by supplying a devotion reduction: individuals that become policyholders between age 65 and 67 get a 30 percent decrease that ignites by 3 percent yearly for ten years.

With this price check, we contrasted AARP/UnitedHealthcare Plan F premiums with the highest and lowest rates for nonsmokers in Maine (a state which needs community analysis ) and New Hampshire (one allowing attained-age score ).

But, AARP/Aetna was much in the very costly; this was merged Insurance Co. of America ($231).

AARP health and long-term-care insurance could be bought online, through the email, or by phone 866-894-6032 (health and Medigap) or 866-660-4117 (long-term care ). Telephone the number to discover whether there's a local agent who will meet you.

These policies are meant to guarantee, or decrease, the potentially devastating financial cost of a nursing home stay or assisted-living care.

Apart from being financially robust and having sold these coverages as the mid-1970s, Genworth has a history of keeping costs stable for policyholders. The company asked state regulators for its first and just rate increase -- about 8 percent -- in 2008. Genworth says it doesn't have any programs to find a speed gain in the future.

The four have powerful financial ratings together with a history of stable rates and reliable payouts to customers. AARP/Genworth was the second-least expensive and nearly $1,000 less expensive than the priciest, Northwestern Long Term Care. As a mutual insurance provider, Northwestern yields a number of their premiums to policyholders yearly, however.

Burns, however, is a fan of New York Life, although it may sometimes be more costly than several competitors. "They're the most powerful insurer on the current market, they haven't ever had a speed increase and they frequently cover a return to their clients in the finish of the calendar year," she states.

AARP/Genworth premiums and policies are nearly equal to Genworth's particular products, therefore deciding to get the AARP version depends upon whether you'd like to promote the company. (Otherwise, talk to a Genworth rep instead; 888-436-9678.) However, AARP has two additional advantages: It ensures premiums won't change for five decades, alongside the AARP customer support line is superb. When MoneyWatch predicted, the rep supplied sound guidance on the ideal amount of policy to purchase. She proposed deducting the amount of Social Security obligations we'll receive from the quantity of coverage we buy. she asked. Fantastic question.

Poor Health Conditions: Your coverage is more affordable for people who have raised blood pressure, higher cholesterol or are not obese. This may be useful in situations where there is no household coverage supplied by the company. High-Deductible Strategy AARP is one of the cheapest strategy, among those 5,000 allowable and $3,000 allowable courses. Preventive and Hospital Plans: AARP is demonstrated to have the lowest possible deductibles along with premiums, which is a rare offer among those programs that provide the least expensive policy. Conclusion

As being the Health Insurance Agent, I tried my very best to supply you each detailed information that might assist you in picking out the finest Health Insurance for yourself. But in the event that you still have some query don't hesitate to ask me with the below comment segment.

To supply you detailed and accurate details regarding AARP Medicare & Health Insurance I must spend the assistance of these resources. It is also possible to check these sources to get more info regarding this subject.

SANTA MUERTE'S PURPLE CANDLE: HEALING

In addition to healing the broken bodies of her devotees, the Powerful Lady helps her flock overcome their abuse of alcohol and other drugs. That the cult of Saint Death offers a special votive candle—the yellow one—and specific prayers for devotees trying to kick the habit gives testament to the importance of her role as a supernatural rehab counselor. Precise figures on the incidence of drug and alcohol abuse among Mexicans and Americans don’t exist, but most estimates indicate that between 5 and 10 percent of the United States population are alcoholics. Based on both academic studies and my own personal experience in Mexico and the United States, I can attest to a pattern of binge drinking among a sizeable minority of men. In contrast to the classic European pattern of consuming small quantities frequently, such as a glass or two of wine with dinner, millions of Mexican and American men imbibe vast quantities of hard liquor and beer in drinking bouts that tend to take place on weekends. I myself have joined male friends and relatives in such outings and have been made fun of for calling it quits aft er a few rounds of tequila or beer. Being in a drunken stupor has never much appealed to me. In accord with my own experience, one study posits that 75 percent of alcohol available in Mexico was consumed by just 25 percent of drinkers, while in a very similar pattern another claims that in the United States 20 percent of drinkers consume 80 percent of the alcohol.  

Beyond alcohol, addiction to the very same psychotropics that the Mexican cartels export in great quantities is on the rise. While the U.S. illicit drug market remains the largest in the world by far, the Mexican domestic one has grown considerably since the 1980s. Hundreds of new rehab centers have opened in the past couple decades that specialize in the abuse of methamphetamines, cocaine, ecstasy, and heroin, among others. No longer is the abuse of stimulants and narcotics only an “American problem.” A young inmate in one of the Mexico City penitentiaries for women who claimed to have painted over a thousand images of the Bony Lady for fellow prisoners hadn’t yet asked her spiritual patroness for help with recovery but explained that she held her hand when she got high in the Bony Lady's cell to protect herself from an overdose.  Here again we see the appeal of Saint Death’s nonjudgmental attitude. Devotees who aren’t ready or willing to give up their habit can ask the Godmother to watch over them as they drug themselves. Substance abusers who are ready to beat their addiction can recite the “prayer for breaking a habit,” as can their loved ones:

Most Holy Death of the light of the moon. You who control the earthly dimension. You who spread joy and remind us that happiness is the goal of life before your arrival. Most Holy Death, do away with liquor, drugs, and other vices and bring tranquility to my home. Help [the name of the person] so that the blindfold comes off  his eyes and transformation takes place. Show him clearly the reasons why vice must not take hold of our hearts so that it doesn’t extinguish his inner light, and may your moon-colored wings alight on his spirit so that he feels your powerful presence. Most Holy Death, do away with liquor, drugs, and other vices and bring tranquility to my home. I sow seven seeds in the ground and may it be your name that cultivates the decision that leads to new circumstances, which through respect will open the doors of light. Most Holy Death, do away with liquor, drugs, and other vices and bring tranquility to my home. Protective and Blessed Death, by the virtue that God granted you, I want you to free me from all curses, dangers, and sickness, and instead give me luck, happiness, and money. I want you to give me friends and free me from my enemies. Also make [name of person] come to me in a humble way, like a lamb that lives up to its promises, to ask me for forgiveness. May he always be loving and submissive for the rest of our lives. Amen. (Pray three Lord’s Prayers.).  

The prayer is obviously intended for family members and friends seeking the recovery of a loved one. And though written in gender-neutral language, it seems aimed at wives and girlfriends who suffer the consequences of having a substance-abusing mate. The request for Santa Muerte to bring the addict back humbled and submissive recalls the classic love-binding prayer stamped on the red candles, which, of course, is primarily for jilted women. Moreover, Mexican men become substance abusers at higher rates than women, so more oft en than not it is the wives, girlfriends, and mothers who approach the Lady of the Shadows asking that she return their men to the place of light, free from enslaving addictions.  

A former prayer leader at Doña Queta’s monthly rosary service, Jesse Ortiz Piña, sounds like a Pentecostal convert in describing how the White Girl helped him kick his habits of frequent partying and beer drinking. Santa Muerte, he says, made him “more responsible at work and home.” Indeed, in my previous research on Pentecostalism in Brazil I discovered that a search for sobriety is the primary reason why men convert to this charismatic branch of Protestantism. Forty percent of my male interviewees in the Amazonian city of Belém became Pentecostals as a result of a desire to sober up. In a similar vein, a substantial percentage of female converts came to the Pentecostal Jesus hoping that he could cure their husbands and sons of their drinking problems.

What is salient here is that for some adherents the skeleton saint operates as an evangelical faith healer who offers a radical personal transformation along with the promise of overcoming substance abuse. Addictions to alcohol and the stimulants methamphetamine and cocaine are notoriously difficult to overcome, so it shouldn’t be surprising that many abusers find the promise of complete transformation an appealing and often necessary stage on their road to recovery.

Nonetheless, it’s intriguing to think that the same saint whose altars are awash in tequila and beer and is not exactly a paragon of sobriety is able to off er the same type of radical healing of substance abuse that is offered by the Pentecostal Jesus and Holy Spirit. Since Pentecostals conceive of Jesus as a teetotaler, it’s easier to understand how this moral miracle worker would serve as a better model of sobriety than would a parched skeleton saint. But herein lies one of the great advantages of Santa Muerte in the increasingly competitive religious marketplace of Mexico and even in the greatest faith economy on earth here in the United States. Much more than Jesus, the canonized saints, and the myriad avocations of Mary, Santa Muerte’s present identity is highly flexible. For some devotees, such as Jesse Piña, the Pretty Girl is also a moral miracle worker who, like Jesus and the saints, offers and encourages positive personal transformation as part of her healing repertoire.

For others she serves more as an amoral sorceress offering healing without demanding behavior modification and sometimes even in conjunction with causing harm to others. Recall the aforementioned Argentine adherent of San La Muerte asking the skeleton saint to both facilitate a successful operation for her loved one and to, “use your scythe to get those responsible out of our way, so they disappear from our lives and from the world—all of them, but especially MBL.” As her cult develops in the future it’s quite possible that a more fixed identity will be established. However, at this particular historical moment, the Godmother possesses both distinctly Christian and non-Christian identities depending on how individual devotees perceive her.    

(R. Andrew Chestnut, Devoted to Death, pages 181-185)

Manager from hell gets what she deserved!

TL;DR at the bottom. Story is from 11 years ago. So if I get a few details mixed up, please pardon that. English is my second language, so might make grammatical/structural errors. Please do forgive that as well.

It was late 2007 and I had just gotten a part time job offer in your neighborhood electronic (and now defunct) store named RS (Shortcut for something that had Radio in the beginning and Shack in the end). I was a college kid and about a few months before, I had a knee surgery which forced me to quite my previous part-time job. So when I joined RS, I was told that aside from extremely rare circumstances of when I may have to fetch a thing or two from the back room or basement, my Job was to "Sell". I was a Sells Associate/Customer Assistance. And we had one or two Stock person(s) whose sole job was to stock the shelf, fetch the merchandise, etc. Then the store management; those are salaried employees.

For us, the sells associates, we would get paid by the hour and it was ABSOLUTELY the minimum wage. But if you sell RS branded accessories, then we would get something like maybe 5 percent of the selling price ( do not recall exact amount; been more than 11 years now). And when we sold brand new cellphones, we would get 20 or 25 Dollars per NEW account. 10 Dollars for additional line on that. And if we upgraded (re-locked the contract for another 2 years), we would get 10 dollars for that account (can be one line or can be more than one). This extra parentage was called "Spiff". The Stock person is supposed to be paid little bit more than the minimum salaries and that's about it.  All of us were trained weekly to sell "Addons". And the better Seller you are, the more money you can make.

Since when I joined the store, I was required to spend my own money to buy the color combination clothes that the corporate office decided for the season. One time it was Red Shirt and Black pants. Another time it was Black Shirt and gray pants. etc. And since your clothes has to be presentable, that means buy two of each at least! With your own money!!

Few days after I joined, I get to know that the Stock person is friend/relative of the manager. So, he gets to seat down in the back room "For Training" while we have to Fetch the merchandise that we sell! As I mentioned earlier, I had a knee surgery not even two months earlier. And this Stores' back room had a cage that only contained Cellphones and GPS, while TV, stereo, speakers and other accessories were in the basement. If we sell TV or any big ticket item, we get nothing! But if we sell batteries for that Remote, Power Strip, Antenna etc. we get about 5 percent! So since our Stock person was "Occupied", we had to get those items from the Basement. As you can imagine, was not the most pleasant thing to do with a still bandaged leg. Not to mention, that was not in the Sells Associates' job description.

Our manager, let's call her B!tchelle, made a new rule, since we are clearly making lot more money as a Sells associates than a Stock person, now we have to share our Spiff equally with the stock person on duty! While we are selling and ask this Stock person to get us the item, he would tell us to get it ourselves. We had to do so, to be able to complete the transaction and not fight in front of the customer. And all while we are giving him the equal share of our spiff! Nice!

Now, whenever new stock deliveries are made, it was generally the Management team (salaried person) and the Stock persons' job to stock them up or place them in the basement or in the cage. But  B!tchelle had better ideas! Told us, "If you are going to work here, then you will have to replenish the entire store at the end of the day! If the delivery trucks comes, you HAVE to sort them and place them in the stockroom yourself! Or else, you will be fired!"

Now, keep in mind that I am still a full time college student and also have family responsibilities to attend to. And my part time job was supposed to be no more than 20 hours! She made me come at 4 PM and sign out at 8 PM, for 5 days. Signing out does not mean you are done! It means you will only get paid for the time of 4 PM to 8 PM. And then, you MUST tidy up the place, restock the shelf, vacuum, throw the trash, and if the deliveries are coming (it was 2 days a week AT LEAST), boy it's your lucky day! Because if the truck comes AFTER 10 PM, you get all the joy and happiness of taking care of it sometimes beyond 1 AM in the morning! When it was during Black Fridays.. I remember leaving the place at 5:30AM (Came in at 4 PM the day before, "WORKED" until 8 PM, and then stock up for Black Friday Sale) only to come back 2 and half hours later at 8 AM and work UNTIL 1 AM the next day! That day she instituted a new rule only for that Black Friday, ONLY sell Big ticket item to boost the stores' numbers! A contest was going on from the corporate office, Store Manager with highest sell per district would get a huge bonus and some other perks. She expressly told us not to sell any accessories (although that was what we made our money on). Now, even on a Black Friday Sale, if you sell a TV, someone would want batteries or antennas for it, right? I ended up accumulating lots of money that are supposed to be my Spiff! And besides, I was extremely good at Sell (and there were times when someone came in for just 2 AA batteries only and I ended up selling him about 4K worth of merchandise). But she ended up denying all of us that spiff "since she told us not to sell that and only sell big ticket items". She only paid us for 8 hours worth of work per person.  

This kept on going for a while, when  B!tchelle would go have extended lunch, had to maintain a padi/manicure, hair appointments, clothes shopping, etc for professional outlook and betterment of the business; while in business hours. From time to time, phones from the cage (which she and ONLY the shift manager would have keys to) would go missing.

Right before my first MidTerm exam, my uncle had a heart attack and I had to fly to Montreal for 72 hours to see him. Of course I let  B!tchelle know. the whole time I was in Montreal, I could not sleep for a second and the day I come back, Our flight lands at 10 AM, my exam was at 1 PM to 3 PM. I had told  B!tchelle that I won't work that day since I would have exams right after I land. I run to my college to take my exam, while I get calls after calls from  B!tchelle that I need to show up to work that day since the Stock person is sick and I had to help with the delivery truck! Or else I am fired! I finish my exam at 3 PM, run to the store before 4 PM, get dressed and "WORK" till 8 PM. That day I work until 12:30AM, midnight! At this point, I have not slept for more than 80 hours (Ok maybe slept an hour or two in between, but you can understand when you are visiting a relative who is having an emergency surgery, how much sleep you can get) and I was dying to sleep! (That job is the reason I got a Redbull and 5Hour energy drink addiction). All while I had a vicious and painful popped ear from flight that lasted for more than 3 days.

That was the last straw! The next day, I slept for more than 12 hours. Go to work. And the following day, "Someone (AHEM AHEM)" called in State Labor department with all these allegations of forced labor, no pay, stolen items, etc. Department of Labor then contacts RS corporate office and two days later, I see  B!tchelle crying hysterically and packing her stuff. Apparently the Corporate office instead of confronting the situation, they chose to fire her. And  B!tchelle is asking us to make calls and write letters on her behalf to say that those allegations are not true! Her friend (the Stock person) told her on her face, "Told you to tone it down with your employees! But you wouldn't listen!"

She leaves!

Month or two later, a guy walks in, says he is a Manager of some bigger electronic store and someone ( B!tchelle  of course!)  just joined in his store as a assistant manager. He is just curious and took it upon himself to find out  how good was B!tchelle as a manager.

I buy him coffee that day and spend about half an hour with him in the nearest Dunkin Donuts! After that, I hear she was trying to get unemployment!

After that we had a chilled up manager who was an awesome person! Loved him! But month or two later, I found a job (While still in college) in my field and ran to it!

TL;DR: Manager from Hell gets what she deserves!! Overwork, underpay, steal from the store and makes our lives miserable.      

(source) (story by bebgaltiger18)     

Sans’ Death in Handplates: WHO (I mean what) DUNNIT? (Featuring a Little Bit of Orthopedics

(Handplates is by @zarla-s)

Note: I am not trying to be morbid. I am not trying to be creepy. I’ve been studying medicine lately, and I've been reading up on diagnosing other people. I just thought it would be a fun thing to do and a great opportunity to teach others a little about medicine. Note that just like "Misery" itself, this does contain serious themes that may bring up trauma for some people, so if you do not feel comfortable with this, please hit the back arrow now. Thank you.)

In Tumblr user and artist zarla-s' comic "Misery", Sans dies of an unknown illness and Papyrus attempts to move on. Zarla has also mentioned that this comic was a "barely disguised vent [series] about death", making it a series entailing high personal expression. It's all beautifully sad, but there's just one problem...the illness is unknown.

So I, DETECTIVE PIKACHU, ask you to join me on the hunt to find this illness.

The good news is that Sans is a skeleton. This rules out all illnesses with other body systems, narrowing it down to a nice few hundred or so. (Don't worry! We'll only go through the more well-known ones.)

I’ve chosen to lay out six culprits here:

-Arthritis

-Osteogenesis Imperfecta

-Osteoporosis

-Osteosarcoma

-Osteomyelitis

-Acute

-Chronic

-Paget's disease of bone

Because most of “Misery” happened ex post facto,  we don't have the time or the interest to dive into much information about Sans' illness  However, we do know a few things. This illness is:

 -Fatal (uh, yeah) 

-Chronic. Chronic illnesses are illnesses that last for months or years. This isn't a very sudden (acute)  illness. If it was acute, it would likely result in Sans very quickly falling down and Papyrus having to take him to the hospital. 

-Progressive, meaning it gets worse over time instead of better. No, it does not mean the average Tumblr user, although medical terminology can be very confusing (that was a joke hardy har har).

-Very hard to treat. Alphys said there was nothing she could do for him, at least at the stage the illness was detected. If the current most brilliant mind in the Underground cannot do anything for him, I doubt anyone can. (https://zarla-s.tumblr.com/post/143139923780/i-dont-have-a-caption-for-this-sorry)

-Very unnoticeable, or at least noticeable enough to hide from at least one person until the final stages. 

In addition, we have to analyze Sans' demographics: Sans is male and approximately in his 20s.

So let's examine our first culprit: ARTHRITIS.

By far the most famous skeletal illness, arthritis involves the joints becoming inflamed. This results in them becoming reddened, painful, and swollen. 

Arthritis is chronic, which fits one of the requirements. In addition, it is also particularly difficult to treat, with most treatments being attempts to increase quality of life without treating the overall condition. 

Whether or not it can be hidden from others depends on pain tolerance and how severe the arthritis is. And while *some* cases of arthritis can be progressive, it differs from person to person.

But while arthritis can decrease quality of life tremendously, it is not fatal in the least. And while arthritis affects both men and women, it affects women more often than men. In addition, it famously affects older people, specifically those 60 and older. So Sans obviously does not fit in this demographic.

We can clearly see Sans does not have arthritis.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/arthritis/symptoms-causes/syc-20350772

https://www.emedicinehealth.com/ask_rheumatoid_arthritis_life_expectancy/article_em.htm

https://www.rheumatoidarthritis.org/ra/symptoms/progression/

-Arthritis

-Osteogenesis Imperfecta

-Osteoporosis

-Osteosarcoma

-Osteomyelitis

-Acute

-Chronic

-Paget's disease of bone

The second culprit is osteogenesis imperfecta. 

Osteogenesis imperfecta, also known as brittle bone disease, is very straightforward. The individual is born with brittle bones that can break easily, and sometimes for no apparent reason. is very rare, but is still relatively well-known. (And what's very interesting is that individuals who have this tend to have blue sclera from the defective connective tissue that comes with osteogenesis imperfecta. But we all know Sans' eyes are blue for a different reason...)

Osteogenesis imperfecta is definitely chronic, so we can knock it off that list. It is also almost impossible to completely treat, with most treatments aiming at boosting bone strength rather than reversing the condition. And all ages and both genders seem to be affected by the disease equally 

As with arthritis, whether or not the disease.is progressive differs from person to person.

But the only ways you can die from the disease are either respiratory complications in infancy and childhood or if complications arise from one of the factures, which both we'd definitely notice in the comic rather than Sans falling over on a hill (https://zarla-s.tumblr.com/post/141061451866/its-always-too-soon). In fact, the disease would be so noticeable that if Sans had this condition, we'd know from the first few pages.

So we can safely say Sans does not have this condition.

http://www.kjophthal.com/article.asp?issn=0976-6677;year=2017;volume=29;issue=3;spage=240;epage=243;aulast=Das

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15807-osteogenesis-imperfecta

http://www.oif.org/site/PageNavigator/AOI_Facts.html

http://www.oif.org/site/PageServer?pagename=RES_Glossary

-Arthritis

-Osteogenesis Imperfecta

-Osteoporosis

-Osteosarcoma

-Osteomyelitis

-Acute

-Chronic

-Paget's disease of bone

Ah, yes. The third culprit. Osteoporosis.

Also relatively well-known and a meme (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3NUIrVivPhso). Osteoporosis mainly involves bones greatly reducing in density. This causes pain, stiffness, a remarkedly changed stature, and most importantly, a higher chance of fractures. (I have lots of relatives and their neighbors who have this, and most of the time, even my hugs are little more than glorified pats.) Things like playful punches, bumps into the corner of the table, and tripping and falling turn from annoying to dangerous and fatal, especially for a 20-something-year-old. In fact, there are theories that the reason why Sans has 1 HP is because he has osteoporosis (https://www.google.com/amp/s/aminoapps.com/c/undertale/amp/blog/why-sans-has-1-hp-can-bleed/YWjI_bu1GjaVaNqa0pQ61oLaD4GozkE), but this is only for the regular Undertale timeline. In Handplates, we all know that Sans has 1 HP because of the nature of Gaster's experiment. 

Osteoporosis is definitely chronic and progressive. 

As with osteogenesis imperfecta, the only way you can die from osteoporosis is from complications with a fracture. And while it is difficult to treat, it is not so impossible that the most brilliant mind in the Underground wouldn't be able to do anything about it. It would be easy to hide in the early stages, but as it advances, it would become harder and harder to hide, which is something Papyrus would notice for months.

So we can see that Sans does not have osteoporosis. Sorry, meme world!

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/11/151108084919.htm

-Arthritis

-Osteogenesis Imperfecta

-Osteoporosis

-Osteosarcoma

-Osteomyelitis

-Acute

-Chronic

-Paget's disease of bone

Osteosarcoma, the third "osteo-" on this list, is more commonly known as bone cancer.

Osteosarcoma is, without a doubt, chronic. And while survival rates continue to go up due to advancing technologies, it still sits at 30 to 80 percent (the chances are probably worse for Sans because of his HP), depending on how early the cancer is caught. And as a society, we all know that any cancer under a 100 percent survival rate is a cancer that needs, that asks to be beaten.

Is it noticeable? Can it be treated? Those can be answered with a big fat IT DEPENDS. If the cancer has affected an arm or a leg, it would be very noticeable, but a bone like the ribs, the clavicle (collarbone), or the scapula (shoulder blade), could be relatively easily hidden by, say, a few layers of clothing or a hood. And treatment depends on the cancer's stage, available technology, and the patients' needs and desires.

Since there is nothing about this that gives any indication that "no, Sans definitely does not have this", this looks like the most likely culprit so far. But just to make sure nothing else is a likely candidate, let's continue down the list.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/osteosarcoma/symptoms-causes/syc-20351052

https://www.stjude.org/disease/osteosarcoma.html

-Arthritis

-Osteogenesis Imperfecta

-Osteoporosis

-Osteosarcoma

-Osteomyelitis

-Acute

-Chronic

-Paget's disease of bone

Osteomyelitis is when a bone becomes infected. Symptoms include a fever, chills, nausea, and swelling and pain at the infection site. (It's something I use in my stories whenever I want Sans or Papyrus to be sick, wink wink.)

When untreated, it is progressive, but it is pretty difficult to ignore simply because of how painful and weakening it is.

It can be hidden from others at its earliest stages depending on where it is, but eventually Papyrus would definitely notice Sans' pernicious fever and chills, and would most likely carry him all the way to the hospital. Is it fatal? It can be, but not in most cases. 

Treatments such as removal of the infected bone, antibiotics, and even draining the bone of the bacteria are available, making this the most treatable of all the conditions we have. In addition, osteomyelitis is definitely acute. It is possible to go home and look at your foot and go "oh crap, my bone's infected, guess I'll head over to the doctors, get treatment, and go back home and move on from this". Okay, maybe not like that. But you get the picture. 

Yeah...Sans DEFINITELY doesn't have this.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/178819.php

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/osteomyelitis/symptoms-causes/syc-20375913

-Arthritis

-Osteogenesis Imperfecta

-Osteoporosis

-Osteosarcoma

-Osteomyelitis

-Acute

-Chronic

-Paget's disease of bone

Paget's disease of bone is a disease that interferes with bone destruction and regrowth. Your bones don't normally just add on. Osteoblasts add new, stronger bone, while osteoclasts take away bone that is usually old and weak. However, in Paget's disease of bone, the osteoblasts are unusually active, which causes bones to become fragile and misshapen. 

It is chronic, and slowly but surely progressive.

However, there is no way you can possibly die from Paget's disease of bone or even suffer ill health effects that spread beyond the affected bone. And while not easily treatable, it can most certainly be helped by medicine that helps to regulate bone growth. In addition, there is no way it can be not easily noticeable, as a hallmark of this disease is unusual changes in bone structure. Also, it normally affects men in their 40's or older, and we know for a fact that Sans is not forty.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/pagets-disease-of-bone/symptoms-causes/syc-20350811?utm_source=Google&utm_medium=abstract&utm_content=Pagets-disease-of-bone&utm_campaign=Knowledge-panel

https://www.medicinenet.com/pagets_disease/article.htm

So the culprit must be bone cancer. After further research, I discovered a likely offshoot of bone cancer called Ewing’s sarcoma.

Ewing’s sarcoma is a type of bone cancer that is almost eerily specific. It is almost exclusive to males around the age of 20, which is a good bet of what Sans is throughout “Misery”. Ewing’s sarcoma also has a grim life prognosis compared to other types of bone cancers. Normally, the survival rate is 80 percent if caught early, but for someone Sans' age, the life expectancy for Ewing’s sarcoma is a tragic 30 percent. And with someone with Sans’ condition, that percentage would most likely be much lower.

Again, it would be progressive, but easy for Sans to hide from Papyrus, at least in the early stages. 

Now, there is one iffy part of Ewing's sarcoma; treatment. Despite it being a life-threatening disease, there are multiple effective treatments. This would include surgery, which is impossible if we're assuming Sans would have it where he could hide it, like his ribs or his clavicle.

For radiation therapy and chemotherapy, they are both effective treatments.

But put yourself in Sans' shoes for a moment. Think about it. Both chemotherapy and radiation therapy can and will give you side effects that will greatly decrease your quality of life. But most importantly, they would put Papyrus- the most important person in your life-through watching you go through them. 

Alphys would then have to make the heartbreaking decision to send Sans home to die.

And that, my friends, is the crux of "Misery".

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ewing-sarcoma/symptoms-causes/syc-20351071

i have felt so weird the past few days. i had a bad night on thursday when i kept getting big parties at work and they weren’t tipping me accordingly even though i was giving them great service. like i had a 10 top of medical students and of course the one foreign guy who doesn’t understand our tipping culture comes up and corners me and makes me swipe his card so he can pay for everything without the other people knowing, then he tips me $15 on a $180 bill. i was so fucking mad, like that party was taking up 3 of my 4 tables for HOURS!!! i was so done! i literally went up to the other end of the table and very politely told the guys there that their friend had covered the meal, but he tipped me less than 10 percent and i knew it was only because he didn’t know the tipping culture. and guess what! they gave me an extra $20 in cash. i’m lucky that particular restaurant has like no rules and the managers don’t care, but at my other restaurant or any other corporate-type restaurant i could have easily been fired for doing that. like how fucked up that i have to be THAT aggressive to get the money i am owed and that also servers technically aren’t allowed to like stand up for themselves because “It makes the restaurant look bad” like FUCK that i have bills to pay, i want the money i worked for and deserve! 

well i had another bad night on friday at my other job when stuff kept going wrong over and over again, whatever, but saturday morning i came in and immediately got a 10 top of guys who were trying to drink the restaurant out of tecate, and they succeeded and ordered 100 tecates and a bunch of tequila shots and food and stuff. their bill was $675 and i took care of them for 4 hours, talking to them and chilling and even drinking a few beers with them, i was SURE they were going to give me a massive tip - turns out they split the bill so one guy tipped me on the food bill but the guy who paid for the drinks - A FOUR HUNDRED DOLLAR TAB - left me NOTHING. NOTHING!!! i was like.. so in shock. that should have been at least an $80 tip and honestly more than that considering how much work i did for them. i could not BELIEVE it! i felt like i had been sooooo taken advantage of! i hate feeling like that and i feel like that a lot because i am such a genuinely nice person! it was such a day-ruiner. i did the ultimate no-no and found the guy on facebook and messaged him that i thought there must have been a mistake, and he actually did message me back and said they would venmo me but i’m not keeping my hopes high that they’ll actually do it. whatever UGH. this job is so frustrating sometimes. but the constant drama and high stress keep me on my toes which is what i need, to be quite honest. 

oh and then also today i had this brother and sister at one of my tables and the brother was really fucking hot and he was laughing at all my jokes and like clearly into me and his sister even asked me if i was single and i said Yeah and then she looked at her brother and was like “isn’t that convenient?” and i thought he would leave his number and he DIDN’T!!! god dammit! i guess only creeps leave their numbers on receipts? idk. i would have texted him

but yeah so there were a lot of lows this weekend and i also partied a lot, went to an EDM show on friday night and got sooooo fucked up on vodka red bulls and ran into this guy i used to do summer landscaping with so it was actually really cool catching up with him. i said i wasn’t gonna party again on saturday but i was so mad from the whole getting stiffed on a 400 dollar bill thing that i went out with sarah and we did a bunch of coke and drank tequila and it was a really weird night because the first bar we went to, this girl outside the bar started screaming hysterically like i legit thought a cat was being strangled or something, but it was this girl screaming about how her rapist was there at the bar and fuck everyone for letting him roam free and it was honestly so sad and awful i wished there was something i could have done to help her (other people were helping her though). set a weird tone for the night. we were too coked up and sarah walked home with me and started sobbing and telling me all about her abusive piece of shit ex boyfriend and i didn’t know how to help other than just listen and not judge and be there for her. 

i felt bad the next day from the coke hangover, i was just really sad and down and honestly thought i needed to cry it all out. i went for a walk on the east side by all the nice houses and the lake and it was so misty and chilly, couldn’t even see a block in front of me. it was eerie but nice even though i felt sad. then i drove to my parents house before work to drop off some stuff and i realized as soon as i drove out of milwaukee it suddenly was 65 degrees and sunny and perfect!! i freaked out and realized this was probably the last warm day of the whole fucking year!! i immediately put up my shift and amazingly jason got me covered so i got off work and then we drove together all the way to the illinois border and went on a walk through the woods with his friend brandon. it was so much fun!! i was feeling really manic and i was ON one, telling all these funny stories and being chatty AF. the late afternoon light was so beautiful on all the trees and the meadow. we walked for a long time, then went to an italian restaurant and had pasta and wine and calamari and just laughed and laughed. it was a good ass day, hanging out with jason, going to woodmans and getting a bag of jellybeans and all this fancy water and just having fun. 

yesterday i walked around with behr and got ramen and drank ginger turmeric tea at rochambo and it was nice to talk. i actually said a lot of shit about sam and the stuff he used to do that would bother me soooo much, i guess i just needed to vent irl instead of on here. behr does understand though. she’s a good friend. then we saw ryan the bartender from work who i kind of have a crush on and we all hung out for what turned into a couple hours, showing each other our hilarious childhood pictures and just laughing and talking. i had no makeup on and i looked like shit so i was self conscious but what-fucking-ever honestly. i had a good time. 

i guess i haven’t been with anyone for like 7 or 8 months now and i feel like i definitely want to wait for someone who deserves me but i’m also bored and antsy too. i don’t even know like any straight boys lol. like who will like me for ME? i am very strange and goofy and i’m definitely not like, a Hot girl. i’m weirdly beautiful sometimes and really fuckin funny. but i rarely ever feel attracted to ANYONE. idk man! i have felt weird lately. just kinda lonely and nervous or something. blegh. tomorrow is a new day.

Rory’s Rules of Alchemy 

The opposite of a good idea can also be a good idea. 

Don’t design for average. 

It doesn’t pay to be logical if everyone else is being logical. 

The nature of our attention affects the nature of our experience. 

A flower is simply a weed with an advertising budget. 

The problem with logic is that it kills off magic.

--

“The trouble with market research is that people don’t think what they feel, they don’t say what they think, and they don’t do what they say.”    

David Ogilvy

--

Our first recommendation to the client was to listen to what consumers said, but to interpret it laterally rather than literally.                

--

In a sensible world, the only thing that would matter would be solving a problem by whatever means work best, but problem-solving is a strangely status-conscious job: there are high-status approaches and low-status approaches. Even Steve Jobs encountered the disdain of the nerdier elements of the software industry – ‘What does Steve do exactly? He can’t even code,’ an employee once snootily observed.                

--

I think ‘psychological moonshots’ are comparatively easy. Making a train journey 20 percent faster might cost hundreds of millions, but making it 20 percent more enjoyable may cost almost nothing. It seems likely that the biggest progress in the next 50 years may come not from improvements in technology but in psychology and design thinking.                

--

Put simply, it’s easy to achieve massive improvements in perception at a fraction of the cost of equivalent improvements in reality. 

Logic tends to rule out magical improvements of this kind, but psycho-logic doesn’t. We are wrong about psychology to a far grater degree than we are about physics, so there is more scope for improvement. Also, we have a culture that prizes measuring things over understanding people, and hence is disproportionately weak at both seeking and recognizing psychological answers.                

--

Remember the example I gave about asking why people hate standing on trains? When I asked that question, it seemed likely that no adult on the planet had asked that question for the last ten years – it sounded like such a stupid thing to ask. Perhaps advertising agencies are largely valuable simply because they create a culture in which it is acceptable to ask daft questions and make foolish suggestions.                

--

... a heated debate in the 1960s at the ad agency J. Walter Thompson about the reasons why people bought electric drills. ‘Well obviously you need to make a hole in something, to put up some shelves or something, and so you go out and buy a drill to perform the job,’ someone said, sensibly. 

Llewelyn Thomas, the copywriter son of the poet Dylan, was having none of this. ‘I don’t think it works like that at all. You see an electric drill in a shop and decide you want it. Then you take it home and wander around your house looking for excuses to drill holes in things.’ 

This discussion perfectly captures the divide between those who believe in rational explanation and those who believe in unconscious motivation; between logic and psycho-logic.                

--

Would you prefer to think of yourself as a medical scientist pushing the frontiers of human knowledge, or as a kind of modern-day fortune teller, doling out soothing remedies to worried patients? 

A modern doctor is both of these things, though is probably employed more for the latter than the former. Even if no one – patient or doctor – wants to believe this, it will be hard to understand and improve the provision of medical care unless we sometimes acknowledge it.                

--

What happens on average when a thousand people do something once is not a clue to what will happen when one person does something a thousand times.                

--

(In alchemy,) 10 x 1 does not equal 1 x 10.                

--

We can see this diversity mechanism clearly in house hunting. If I were to give you a budget to choose your perfect house, you would have a clear idea of what to buy, but it would typically be a bit boring. That’s because when you have one house, it cannot be too weak in any one dimension: it cannot be too small, too far from work, too noisy or too weird, so you’ll opt for a conventional house. On the other hand, if I were to double your budget and tell you to buy two houses, your pattern of decision-making would change. You would now be looking to buy two significantly different properties with complementary strengths – perhaps a flat in the city and a house in the countryside.                

--

Anyone can easily build a career on a single eccentric talent, if it is cunningly deployed. As I always advise young people, ‘Find one or two things your boss is rubbish at and be quite good at them.’                

--

Complementary talent is far more valuable than conformist talent.                

--

Metrics, and especially averages, encourage you to focus on the middle of a market, but innovation happens at the extremes. You are more likely to come up with a good idea focusing on one outlier than on ten average users.                

--

People don’t use reason to make better decisions, but simply for the appearance of being reasonable.                

--

As any game theorist knows, there is a virtue to making slightly random decisions that do not conform to established rules.                

--

This suggests that the prejudice we apply against a lone black candidate or a lone female candidate might also apply to a lone ‘anything’ candidate.*                

--

In competitive markets, it pays to have (and to cultivate) eccentric tastes.                

--

I had decided before we moved that I wanted to live somewhere interesting, placing more emphasis on the architecture than on the precise location or the number of bedrooms. This eccentric approach certainly minimizes status envy.                

--

It is, after all, a distinguishing feature of entrepreneurs that, since they don’t have to defend their reasoning every time they make a decision, they are free to experiment with solutions that are off-limits to others                

--

We approve reasonable things too quickly, while counterintuitive ideas are frequently treated with suspicion. Suggest cutting the price of a failing product, and your boringly rational suggestion will be approved without question, but suggest renaming it and you’ll be put through grueling PowerPoint presentations, research groups, multivariate analysis and God knows what else* – and all because your idea isn’t conventionally logical.                

--

‘There are two key steps that a mathematician uses. 1) He uses intuition to guess the right problem and the right solution and then 2) logic to prove it.’                

--

Bullmore notes that we tend to frown on those who admit their debt to intuition as opposed to carefully planned experiment.                

--

The argumentative hypothesis* suggests reason arose in the human brain not to inform our actions and beliefs, but to explain and defend them to others. In other words, it is an adaptation necessitated by our being a highly social species. 

We may use reason to detect lying in others, to resolve disputes, to attempt to influence other people or to explain our actions in retrospect, but it seems not to play the decisive role in individual decision-making. 

In my view, this theory has much to commend it. For one thing, it explains why individuals use reason so sparingly, selectively and above all self-servingly. It explains why we are good at contriving reasons for positions we already hold, or for decisions we have already made. And it explains confirmation bias, which leads people to seek out and absorb only that information which supports an existing belief. It also explains ‘adaptive preference formation’, where we change our perception of reality in order to depict ourselves in a better light.                

--

Today, the principal activity of any publicly held company is rarely the creation of products to satisfy a market need. Management attention is instead largely directed towards the invention of plausible-sounding efficiency narratives to satisfy financial analysts, many of whom know nothing about the businesses they claim to analyze, beyond what they can read on a spreadsheet. There is no need to prove that your cost-saving works empirically, as long as it is consistent with standard economic theory.                

--

It is a never-mentioned, slightly embarrassing but nevertheless essential facet of free market capitalism that it does not care about reasons – in fact it will often reward lucky idiots. You can be a certifiable lunatic with an IQ of 80, but if you stumble blindly on an underserved market niche at the right moment, you will be handsomely rewarded. Equally you can have all the MBAs money can buy and, if you launch your genius idea a year too late (or too early), you will fail.                

--

Truly free markets trade efficiency for market-tested innovation that is heavily reliant on luck.                

--

The advertising agency J. Walter Thompson used to set a test for aspiring copywriters. One of the questions was simple: 

‘Here are two identical 25-cent coins. Sell me the one on the right.’ 

One successful candidate understood the idea of alchemy. ‘I’ll take the right-hand coin and dip it in Marilyn Monroe’s bag. Then I’ll sell you a genuine 25-cent coin as owned by Marilyn Monroe.’                

--

No one in public life believes in magic, or trusts those who purvey it. If you propose any solution where the gain in perceived value outweighs the attendant expenditure in money, time, effort or resources, people either don’t believe you, or worse, they think you are somehow cheating them. This is why marketing doesn’t get any credit in business – when it generates magic, it is more socially acceptable to attribute the resulting success to logistics or cost-control.                

--

The reason the alchemists gave up in the Middle Ages was because they were looking at the problem the wrong way – they had set themselves the impossible task of trying to turn lead into gold, but had got it into their heads that the value of something lies solely in what it is. This was a false assumption, because you don’t need to tinker with atomic structure to make lead as valuable as gold – all you need to do is to tinker with human psychology so that it feels as valuable as gold. At which point, who cares that it isn’t actually gold?                

--

One contention in this book is that nearly all really successful businesses, as much as they pretend to be popular for rational reasons, owe most of their success to having stumbled on a psychological magic trick, sometimes unwittingly. Google, Dyson, Uber, Red Bull, Diet Coke, McDonald’s, Just Eat, Apple, Starbucks and Amazon have all deliberately or accidentally happened on a form of mental alchemy.                

--

Preoccupied as they were with the hopeless idea of ‘transmutation’ – the transformation of one element into another – the alchemists failed to experiment with the rebranding of lead.                

--

A great deal of the effectiveness of advertising derives from its power to direct attention to favorable aspects of an experience, in order to change the experience for the better.                

...

I have always thought, for instance, that the word ‘downsizing’, which is used not only as a euphemism for redundancies, but in another sense refers to the voluntary decision by ‘empty nesters’ to move to a smaller and more manageable home, is a very useful coinage. It allows older people in needlessly large homes to portray their move to a smaller house as a choice born out of preference, rather than – as it may otherwise be assumed to be – a compromise born of financial necessity. 

Create a name, and you’ve created a norm.                

--

Reciprocation, reputation and pre-commitment signaling are the three big mechanisms that underpin trust.                

--

What keeps the relationship honest and mutually beneficial is nothing other than the prospect of repetition. In game theory, this prospect of repetition is known as ‘continuation probability.’           

--

To borrow the language of the Michelin Guide, a flower can be ‘vaut l’étape’, ‘vaut le détour’ or ‘vaut le voyage’; ‘worth stopping at’, ‘worth going out of your way for’ or ‘a destination in itself’.                

--

Conversations about the marketing of brands tend to focus on hair-splitting distinctions between fairly good products. We often forget that, without this assurance of quality, there simply isn’t enough trust for markets to function at all, which means that perfectly good ideas can fail. Branding isn’t just something to add to great products – it’s essential to their existence.                

--

Not only do people not know what they want, they don’t even know why they like the things they buy.                

--

The only way you can discover what people really want (their ‘revealed preferences’, in economic parlance) is through seeing what they actually pay for under a variety of different conditions, in a variety of contexts.                

--

The intriguing thing about Uber as an innovation was that no one really asked for it before it existed. Its success lay in a couple of astute psychological hacks: the fact that no money changes hands during a trip is one of the most powerful – it makes using it feel like a service rather than a transaction.                

--

Credit card companies have discovered this already, with promises like ‘Apply now and get approval within 12 hours’ – they found, through testing, accident or experimentation, that this made a difference to people’s keenness to respond.                

--

It seems rather like the lesson that is taught to aspiring journalists: ‘Dog Bites Man’ is not news, but ‘Man Bites Dog’ is. Meaning is disproportionately conveyed by things that are unexpected or illogical, while narrowly logical things convey no information at all. And this brings us full circle, to the explanation of costly signalling.                

--

... Joel’s 50-year-old theory concerning brand preference. The idea, most simply expressed, is this: ‘People do not choose Brand A over Brand B because they think Brand A is better, but because they are more certain that it is good.’                

...

Imagine you’re looking at two televisions. Both seem to be equal in size, picture quality and functionality. One is manufactured by Samsung, while the other is manufactured by a brand you’ve never heard of – let’s call it Wangwei – and costs £200 less. Ideally you would like to buy the best television you can, but avoiding buying a television that turns out to be terrible is more important. It is for the second quality and not the first that Samsung earns its £200, and you are absolutely right to pay for the name in this case.                

--

Eventually the Dutch compiled a sort of phrasebook, which translates British English into Dutch English. 

What the British say // What foreigners understand // What the British mean

I hear what you say // He accepts my point of view // I disagree and do not want to discuss it further 

With the greatest respect // He is listening to me // You are an idiot 

That’s not bad // That’s poor // That’s good 

That is a very brave proposal // He thinks I have courage // You are insane 

Quite good // Quite good // A bit disappointing 

I would suggest // Think about his idea, but I should do what I like // Do it or be prepared to justify                

--

In the same way, you cannot describe someone’s behavior based on what you see, or what you think they see, because what determines their behavior is what they think they are seeing.                

--

It won’t surprise you to know that I am skeptical about the promise of ‘big data’, which is frequently promoted as though it were some kind of panacea. Like many things that emerge from the technology sector, we become so drunk on the early possible benefit of a technology that we forget to calculate the second-order problems.* The evangelists of big data imply that ‘big’ equals ‘good’, yet it by no means follows that more data will lead to decisions that are better or more ethical and fair.                

...

To use the analogy of the needle in the haystack, more data does increase the number of needles, but it also increases the volume of hay, as well as the frequency of false needles – things we will believe are significant when really they aren’t. The risk of spurious correlations, ephemeral correlations, confounding variables or confirmation bias can lead to more dumb decisions than insightful ones, with the data giving us a confidence in these decisions that is simply not warranted.                

--

All big data comes from the same place: the past.                

--

My argument is not that alchemy is always reliable, ethical or beneficial. Far from it – it is simply that we should not recoil from testing alchemical solutions because they do not fit with our reductionist ideas about how the world works.                

--

We have adopted a similarly pragmatic approach in proposals to reduce the amount of uneaten supermarket food thrown out by consumers once it passes a best-before date. Again, we didn’t concentrate on the reasons people shouldn’t waste food, but instead on ways to make unwasteful behavior easier to adopt. Our suggestions have included such childishly simple solutions as including the day of the week on ‘Use By’ and ‘Best Before’ dates on packaging. ‘Use by Friday, 12/11/17’ is a much more useful reminder than a numerical date.* As we have seen in this section, it is only the behavior that matters, not the reasons for adopting it. Give people a reason and they may not supply the behavior; but give people a behavior and they’ll have no problem supplying the reasons themselves.                

--

The marketer’s life can be difficult and lonely. Typically, most of a company’s management will have the mentality of the air traffic controller, with a love of the obvious, whereas the marketer needs to be more like Kramer, with a fear of the obvious.                

--

 How To Read Successful People’s Success Stories

Why The Uber Successful Downplay How Easy Success Is

There are so many people out there offering success recipes.

Facebook, YouTube and other social media advertisement services opened the flood gates. Now, anyone with a success story and some digital tools can hawk their "proven" success tips.

Then there are the "Uber Successsful."

Millions follow Uber Successfuls, with stardom in their eyes. They want wealth, happiness, the good life. Celebrity.

Anthony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, Arnold Schwarzenegger and many others, offer how their hard work, persistence and vision made them successful. You can do what they did, they say...

But... (you knew this was coming :-)).

Successfuls, both minor and major camouflage how easy success really is. They don’t do it on purpose. So if you want success, listen to these people. But first, learn how to read their stories.

^^There are more success stories than there is time to read them. Learning how to read them is more important than reading them all. (Photo: Annie Spratt on Unsplash)

Successfuls don't understand the "how" of their success. That's why their recipes emphasize what's irrelevant and downplay success' ingredients.

Learn to read the typical success story though and you unlock real doors to success. Like successful people promise.

· · ·

Take Arnold Schwarzenegger. Everyone knows his success. Watch this video, seen many millions of times across the internet. In it, Arnold distills his success to five essential rules.

Fortunately, none of the rules he offers made him successful. Want Arnold's success? Let’s distill what really happened.

Generally, successful people like Arnold suggest specific action. Action you must take to get results. Actions they say will make you successful. While focusing on action, they gloss over the secrets. Secrets all successful people use (and we do mean all).

The reason they don't speak plain about them? Most aren't aware what they are. They call them "lucky breaks", or "chance" or "fortunate events".

A few come close, but miss, attributing success to “God".

The rest ascribe 80-90 percent of their success to their hard work, their actions, what they knew or who they knew. They assign 20 percent, or less, to "luck".

Here's what's remarkable about that: it's the opposite.

Ninety percent or more of their success was "luck". Effort represents a minuscule percentage.

That means, your success depends on "luck" too.

· · ·

Here's the good news: It's not luck.

Success happens via direct, deliberate easy-to-use processes. Processes you control. Processes Successfuls use. That means, any outcome you want is possible.

You don't need luck. You only need to know the processes. Then you can manufacture "luck" at will.

More good news: It's impossible not to be successful. That's because you already know how the processes work. You've only temporarily forgotten.

^^You’re a few moments away from remembering what you’ve forgotten. (Photo: Tachina Lee on Unsplash)

You listened to the video. Notice Arnold ascribing his success to five rules? Notice his casual references where luck happened?

Probably not. But we did. Let's recap.

How Success Really Happens

At 00:25, Arnold introduces his success "rules". These rules, he says, work for anyone. "Rules" imply things you must do. They also imply things you must not do (don't break the rules).

Don't follow the rules, Arnold says. You won't be successful. Or happy!

But life doesn't work that way. You are eternal. It's not possible to "not be successful".

Eternity has no finish line. You always get do overs. There's a second chance, a third, a fourth, fifth, sixth...etc., on through eternity.

^^Every next moment is a change to start anew.  (Meme: By the author)

But when you think "oh boy, there are RULES I'm going to have to follow?" that lengthens your success path.

There are no rules you must follow.

At around 00:38, Arnold describes Rule #1: "Find" your vision and follow it.

Have no vision or goal, he says, and you'll drift around and not be happy.

Arnold says, if you don't "find" your vision, you're lost. But he doesn't explain "how" to find your vision. Maybe he didn't have time to explain. Perhaps he doesn't know how.

Visions or goals aren't something you "find". You can't help but have them! Life experiences evoke from within you unending desires. THOSE ARE YOUR VISIONS. Arnold describes this, but not in his rules. Instead he buries it in his life story.

Through Life Experience Visions Are Automatic

After Germany and Austria's defeat in World War II, Arnold wanted escape. He wanted out of war-torn Europe. That was his first vision! His first goal. Did he have to "find" it?

No! His life experience drew it from him.

That's how your life works. From your experiences you birth visions and dreams. Visions sometime feel like dislikes. Arnold disliked Austria. He wanted to escape. That was his vision. He didn't need to find it!

Arnold's rule number one is wrong. There's no "finding" your vision. They come automatically.

Then, less than a minute into his speech, Arnold reveals secret number one. At 00:54 after knowing he wanted to escape, he "luckily" watched a documentary about America.

^^Arnold Giving up the secrets. You always know Successfuls share  real secrets when they use keywords such as "luck" or "fortunate". (Photo credit: YouTube/Goalcast)

Was this luck? If it was, then you're screwed.

Because luck only happens to the lucky!

Good news: it wasn't luck! This is how life works for everyone.

Arnold had life experience. Life experience clarified his vision. Get out of Austria. But he didn't know how or "to where". His Broader Perspective did though. His Broader Perspective arranged his life to include the documentary. It was not "luck". The film showed up on purpose.

It's likely Arnold doesn't know he has a Broader Perspective. So instead of giving credit where it's due, he called it "luck”.

When successful people tell success stories, keep listening for keywords like “luck”. When they use such words, they're giving up secrets. Their secrets are not actions, advice or rules you must follow.

Luck makes it seem out of your control. But you make these events happen! You’ve only forgotten how.

Only one thing makes you successful: lining up with you Broader Perspective. It is arranging your success all the time. Your Broader Perspective always speaks to you. Most of the time, you’re not listening...Successful people find a way to listen.

Successful people would have no stories to tell without Broader Perspective’s involvement.

Ask any successful person you know if they could predict when, where and from whom these "lucky breaks" would happen. Every person will say "no". Human awareness is too small to know.  It's too small to arrange billions of events, and resources becoming your life. Including people who's ideas will benefit you. Ideas those people haven’t even had yet!

Trippy, right?

All this is beyond normal human perception. Right up until such events become reality. But it's child's play for your Broader Perspective.

After seeing the documentary, Arnold "knew that is exactly where I wanted to end up" he says. Young Arnold got excited. “Excited” is an emotion. Emotions tell you you’re on your way to success. That’s their purpose.

Arnold was on his success path. He felt positive, excited. All he had to do now was keep following his vision as it evolved. Broader Perspective would do the heavy lifting (pun intended). It would create one event after another.

When strung together, Arnold would find himself successful.

It's that easy. It's so easy, you can do it.

So did Arnold have to "find" the vision of "ending up in America”? Nope. Then why do you?

Next, he asked "how will I get there?" The answer already existed. His Broader Perspective already held the experience "ending up in America". It already had shaped many paths leading to America. Paths including people who could help Arnold get there.

It didn't matter Arnold didn't know how he would get there. Just by asking the question, he matched his Broader Perspective's "knowing".

What happened next reveals another secret having nothing to do with Arnold's effort.

At 1:09, Arnold says: "...One day I was fortunate enough to see a bodybuilding magazine..." In the magazine, he says, he read an article about Reg Park, a former Mr. Universe.

^^Arnold's second clue. The keyword "fortunate" always points to knowledge, the speaker is unware they have. (Photo: YouTube/Goalcast)

"Fortunate" is another keyword. When Successfuls use this word, perk up. Here's what they're saying. "I don't know how the heck this happened, but it made me successful, so pay attention, I'm telling you the secret".

Arnold couldn't get himself out of Austria on his own. He had no idea "how". He had no money. No one did. He had no idea "where" he'd go.

But his Broader Perspective had answers to how and who and where. The documentary, then Reg Park were answers Arnold wanted.

Arnold got inspired. He felt excitement. In his excitement, he primed the next major event. The more positively focused you are, the quicker things happen. 

At 01:22 Arnold says "I read the article as fast as I could". Park's success boosted Arnold's enthusiasm. You could say Park and Arnold share the same nonphysical origins. Park’s experience pointed the way for Arnold's ambitions. Through Park's example, Arnold realized his own path.

Life works like this for everyone. It is not luck. It is not fortune. It is not random. You have life experience. It spurs desire. Broader Perspective makes it real at once. You don't experience that realness as immediate as your Broader Perspective. Why?

Because desires become real slower in physical reality than in nonphysical. In nonphysical, things become things immediately.

It's a good thing it’s different here. Too much crazy stuff would happen otherwise. But that's another story.

Just know that your success happens exactly as Arnold’s.

Not successful yet?

You will be, after you learn how do to what Arnold did. Not what he says he did. What he actually did.

In other words, no rules.

Arnold describes Park "all of a sudden" landing "in Rome...He’s doing Hercules movies" after training and winning Mr. Universe three times.

But Park's success (and Arnold's) didn't happen "all of a sudden". It happened over time. “All of a sudden” is a keyword phrase. During that time, did Park or Arnold work hard? Struggle? Sacrifice? We don’t know about Park.

But that's how Arnold describes it. If you watch Arnold’s training footage, however, you would see he wasn't working hard.

^^Note the yellow box. Arnold acknowledges his "hard work" and "struggle" "didn't matter". (Photo: YouTube/Goalcast)

More likely, he was enjoying it. That's how he explains it. But you must listen carefully.

At 2:04 he says hard work wasn't part of the equation. Nor struggle. "It didn't matter" he said. Why? Because he found his passion. Meaning: he knew he was on his path.

Let's summarize so far. Here are the first steps to everyone'ssuccess:

Your desires, automatically surface through life experience. These are your visions/goals.

Now you know what you want. That moment, your Broader Perspective becomes that. It then sends you clues via intuition, events and circumstances spurring your desire. It's never full blown desire fulfillment. It's bread crumbs on a path.

Watch Arnold's speech again. See if you can ignore Arnold's rules. Instead, tune in to keywords in his story. Keywords indicating how Arnold (and every successful person) unknowingly reveals real secrets. Secrets so secret, even Successfuls don't know them. Even though they share them.

Arnold's "rules" had nothing to do with his success.

Speed Builds As Success Gets Bigger

Later in his speech, Arnold's early successes inspire even bigger desires. He's had some success. He's feeling confident. So he shoots for bigger dreams.

At 2:30 he talks about being another John Wayne. But he wouldn't be able to have that grand vision had he not started with his smaller one: leaving war-torn Austria.

That dream got fulfilled when he first saw the documentary, then read the magazine. By then, he knew how (follow Park's example) and where (go to America).

So Arnold didn't follow Rule #2: Never ever think small. He thinks he followed it, but his first thought wasn't huge. It wasn't "become the next John Wayne." It was "get out of Austria."

Not "become the next Mr. Universe".

Not "Become a movie star".

Just: get out of Austria. Where? "I don't know!” How? "I don't know, I just want to escape!”

When you have a small goal, it's just as big as a big goal, because small goals lead to bigger ones. You don't have to start with a big one. Start where you are.

Arnold didn't have a big goal to start. He started where he was.

You don't have to have big dreams.

Next we come to Arnold's Rule #3: ignore the naysayers.

Arnold didn't follow this rule either. He did listen. Why do you think he took english classes, accent removal classes, diction classes...

Meanwhile Arnold's Broader Perspective delivers what Arnold calls "a little break".

But it actually was a massive real-ization: a part in a TV show.

That part lead to Pumping Iron, which literally made Arnold a household name.

Then Stay Hungry came.

By this time, Arnold's dreams blossomed more and more. The more real they got, the happier and more confident Arnold got. Arnold's attention turned to bigger and more exciting dreams and desires. How? His dreaming capacity increased with each previously fulfilled goal.

Again, that's how life works.

Conan The Barbarian: The Big Break

Then came Conan The Barbarian. Let's talk about Conan the Barbarian, something Arnold calls "the big break".

^^The Epic Conan Poster.

Arnold says it came "finally". As though he had been waiting a long time.

But he's not recognizing every fulfilled desire preceding this famous movie. Each fulfilled desire made the next possible. Fulfilled dreams come in succession. Not in a Big Bang.

Conan was impossible before Stay Hungry.

Stay Hungry: impossible before Pumping Iron.

Pumping Iron: impossible before that TV role.

All Arnold's acting, impossible before his preparation.

His preparation, impossible before winning Mr. Universe.

Winning Mr. Universe, impossible were it not for Reg Park and the magazine article.

The magazine article, impossible before the documentary.

The documentary, impossible before wanting to escape.

Wanting to escape, impossible before the aftermath of WWII.

A long series of manifestations, one leading to the other, made Conan The Barbarian possible. Including events having nothing to do with Arnold.

That's important!

First, there had to be a Conan The Barbarian concept. Original Conan stories were first published in 1932.That's fifteen years before Arnold was even born (1947)!

The Conan stories then had to become comic books. They started out as fantasy stories. Not comic books.

Frank Frazetta, a famous fantasy artist, was born in 1928. Well before Arnold could have known about Reg Park. Frazetta's art became famous. According to Wikipedia: “His interpretation of Conan visually redefined the genre of sword and sorcery, and had an enormous influence on succeeding generations of artists.” In other words, Frazetta’s art boosted Conan's mystique.

Somewhere along the line, the Conan fantasy inspired a future movie director. All these events happened well before Arnold started acting!

See?

Many events, inspirations, sparks of imaginations. Imaginations happening well before Arnold was born!

Then, came Arnold's tiny dream: Get heck out of Austria.

Conan was monumental. Note how Arnold describes it. We're pasting his verbatim commentary so you can read it without the video. It's thrilling:

"...You know what was so interesting about it was the director said that at the press conference, if we wouldn't have had Schwarzenegger with those muscles, we would have had to build one."

Then, about Terminator:

"James Cameron said, the "I'll be back" line became the most famous movie lines in history because of Arnold's crazy accent because he sounded like a machine!"

Here's what we wrote before about these kinds of events. Events organized by your Broader Perspective:

"When your Broader Perspective organizes events in your life, it works with other people’s Broader Perspectives. Your Broader Perspective has your best interests in mind. Other people’s Broader Perspectives have your interests in mind too. And vice versa. So when a person shows up in your life, they agreed, through their Broader Perspective, to be there. In being there, they get what they are wanting. Even as you get what you want. Everyone in any situation gets the same thing: what they want.  There are no exceptions to this."

That director's Broader Perspective, and James Cameron's Broader Perspective, Frank Frazetta's Broader Perspective, Reg Park's Broader Perspective....were and are working with Arnold's Broader Perspective. Such coordination got/is getting everyone what they wanted/want.

Did you get a little shiver down your spine, or goose bumps across your body?

That's your Broader Perspective agreeing with us. Because what we're sharing with you is 100 percent accurate. You have control over this process. Let's review the steps adding steps three and four:

Your desires surface through life experience. These are your visions/goals. It’s automatic.

Now you know what you want. That moment, your Broader Perspective becomes that. It then sends you clues via intuition, events and circumstances spurring more desire. It's never full blown desire fulfillment. It's bread crumbs on a path.

You must now merge with your Broader Perspective. You’ll then hear clues and perceive event chains. These event chains are desires fulfilled over time. How do you know you're merged? You are positively focused. You are happy, appreciative, joyful, excited, inspired. All these tell you you're merged.

Watch what happens. Celebrate when desires get fulfilled, then move back to step one.

These basic steps make all Successfuls successful. Your success equals anyone on any stage telling you about their success. Working hard isn't required.

You only need to do what they did. Not what they say they did.

Your success may not look like Arnold's, or any other's success. Your life is unique. You're not here to succeed like others. You're here to succeed in your way.

Successful people don't share secrets of their success directly. That's because they don't know the secrets. Instead they talk about what they did. They encourage you to do what they did. They don't tell you it's not about doing. Success is about being. Being merged with your Broader Perspective.

That's the secret.

Now you know. Now you can listen to their experiences, tune out the irrelevant 10 percent. Then tune in the 90 percent that made them successful.

Pain Endurance: Unnecessary.

Everything Arnold did, he did because he wanted to. He enjoyed it. Here's why he says otherwise.

Like many successful people, he doesn't understand how he got success. Instead he justifies his success. How? By saying he found his vision, worked his ass off, didn't listen to anyone and endured pain. Performing altruism is a nice touch. But as you know, many successful people become altruistic after succeeding. Not while becoming successful.

None of those things made him successful.

What made him successful were "lucky" breaks, big and small. Those and “fortunate" events impossible to arrange on his own.

Those events his Broader Perspective arranged. Yours can too.

We invite you to listen again to Arnold's story. Or any successful person's story. See if you can tune out the rules. Tune out what they said they did, and listen to the 90 percent their Broader Perspective did for them.

Arnold's story is inspiring. But ignore his advice. Learn to read his story correctly.  Hear the "hidden message" to turn inward. Listen to your own Broader Perspective. Merge with it. Then chart your own delightful path.

How? By staying positively focused. Need more help? That's why we're here.

In Bitcoin We Trust?

By now you have probably heard of Bitcoin, but are you able to define it?

Frequently it is described as a non-government digital currency. Bitcoin is also sometimes called a cyber currency or, in a nod to its encrypted origins, a cryptocurrency. Those descriptions are accurate enough, but they miss out the point. It's like describing the U.S. dollar as a green little bit of paper with pictures on it.

I have my own, personal ways of describing Bitcoin and btc qr code. I think of it as store credit without the store. A prepaid phone without the phone. Precious metal without the metal. Legal tender for no debts, public or private, unless the party to whom it is tendered wishes to just accept it. A musical instrument backed by the total faith and credit only of its anonymous creators, in whom I, therefore, place no faith, and to whom I give no credit with the exception of ingenuity.

I wouldn't touch a bitcoin with a 10-foot USB cable. But a reasonable amount of people have, and many more soon may.

This is partly because entrepreneurs Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, best known for their role in the origins of Facebook, are actually seeking to make use of their technological savvy, and money, to create bitcoin qr code to the mainstream.

The Winklevosses hope to begin an exchange-traded fund for bitcoins. An ETF will make Bitcoin more widely available to investors who lack the technological know-how to get the digital currency directly. By April, the Winklevosses are said to possess held around 1 percent of most existent bitcoins.

Created in 2009 by an anonymous cryptographer, Bitcoin operates on the premise that anything, even intangible components of the code can have value so long as enough people decide to deal with it as valuable. Bitcoins exist only as digital representations and are not pegged to any traditional currency.

Based on the Bitcoin website, "Bitcoin is made around the notion of a brand new kind of money that uses cryptography to manage its creation and transactions, as opposed to depending on central authorities." (1) New bitcoins are "mined" by users who solve computer algorithms to find out virtual coins. Bitcoins'purported creators have said that the greatest way to obtain bitcoins will be capped at 21 million.

While Bitcoin promotes itself as "a really secure and inexpensive way to take care of payments," (2) in fact, few businesses have made the proceed to accept bitcoins. Of the ones that have, a sizable number operate in the black market.

Bitcoins are traded anonymously within the Internet, without any participation on the part of established financial institutions. By 2012, sales of drugs and other black-market goods accounted for an estimated 20 percent of exchanges from bitcoins to the U.S. dollars on the main Bitcoin exchange called Mt. Gox. The Drug Enforcement Agency recently conducted its first-ever Bitcoin seizure, after reportedly tying a transaction on the anonymous Bitcoin-only marketplace Silk Road to the sale of prescription and illegal drugs.

Some Bitcoin users have suggested that the currency can serve as a way to avoid taxes. That may be true, but only in the sense that bitcoins aid illegal tax evasion, not in the sense that they really serve any role in genuine tax planning. Under federal tax law, no cash needs to alter hands in order for a taxable transaction to occur. Barter and other non-cash exchanges are still fully taxable. There's no reason that transactions involving bitcoins will be treated differently.

Outside of the criminal element, Bitcoin's main devotees are speculators, who've no intention of using bitcoins to buy anything. These investors are convinced that the limited way to obtain bitcoins will force their value to check out a continual upward trajectory.

Bitcoin has indeed seen some significant spikes in value. But it, in addition, has experienced major losses, including an 80 percent decline over 24 hours in April. From the beginning of the month, bitcoins were down seriously to around $90, from a lot of $266 prior to the April crash. They were trading near $97 earlier this week, based on mtgox.com.

The Winklevosses will make Bitcoin investing easier by allowing smaller-scale investors to profit, or lose, since the case might be, without the hassle of actually buying and storing the electronic coins. Despite claims of security, Bitcoin storage has proved problematic. In 2011, an attack on the Mt. Gox exchange forced it to temporarily power down and caused the price tag on bitcoins to briefly fall to nearly zero. Since Bitcoin transactions are all anonymous, there is little chance of tracking down the culprits if you suddenly find your electronic wallet empty. If the Winklevosses get regulatory approval, their ETF would help shield investors from the threat of individual theft. The ETF, however, would do nothing to handle the issue of volatility brought on by large-scale thefts elsewhere in the Bitcoin market.

I am super fucking bored and want to procrastinate going grocery shopping so I decided to answer every fucking ask (that I liked) of that LGBT ladies ask list.

EDIT: I’m halfway through and I gotta say: If you wanna watch me lose my shit as the questions progress into more and more biphobic and misgynistic territory then you came to the right post on tumblr dot com.

1. How do you define your sexuality? ---- bisexual and queer 2. At what age did you first realize that you like girls? ---- pfff... 13? 5? 21? Who knows? 3. At what age did you first come out? ---- 13ish 4. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it? ---- I don’t know? Friends? I don’t think they reacted in any particular way because it was just an off-hand comment of mine and I hardly remember anything about it. 5. How out are you? ---- Very out. Could hardly be outer. 6. Has coming out lost you any friends? ---- Not sure about one friend who sorta stopped contacting me after I mentioned I’m bi. But we were growing apart anyway so maybe it’s a coincidence. 7. What is your current relationship status? ---- I have a boyfriend. 8. How many LGBT friends do you have? ---- Too many to count but still not enough. 9. Do you have any LGBT relatives? ---- Not to my knowledge but I don’t know many relatives of mine. 10. Have you ever cut your hair super short? ---- It is super short right now! (just had my pixie recut) 11. How often do you wear flannel? ---- Never. 12. How much do you like cats? ---- A LOT! 13. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often? ---- In summer I won’t be seen dead in pants! In winter I do wear pants more frequently but I consider dresses and skirts to be my natural form! 14. Do you wear high heels? If so, how often? ---- Rarely. Only for special occasions. 15. Do you have any tattoos? If so, what of and where? ---- Nope. 16. How accurate is your gaydar? ---- I think it’s okay. 17. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? ---- Yes. 18. How do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? ---- Let them do whatever they want. 19. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? ---- Unfortunately yes. 20. Ellen or Portia? ---- Neither. 21. Is your nose pierced? ---- No. 22. Would you ever want to get married, if not already? ---- Nopey nope! (unless it’s for financial/bureaucratic reasons) 23. Will you wear a dress for your wedding? 24. Would you ever want to give birth? ---- Meh. I like children and in a different timeline I definitly have some but... not in this one. 25. Have you ever watched The L Word? ---- No and I don’t plan to watch it since I’ve heard nothing but negative stuff (trans- and biphobia) from sources whose judgement I trust. 26. Have you ever dated a guy? ---- I am dating a guy right now. 27. How do you feel when someone uses the word gay to mean stupid, dumb, or boring? ---- it’s annoying and homophobic 28. How many rainbow items do you own? ---- Not that mayn actually but I do have some bi merch. 29. Have you ever been to a pride festival? ---- Yes, in Berlin and Brighton. 30. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (October 11)? ---- Not really celebrated but acknowledged its existence, I guess. 31. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence? ---- I have never heard of that. 32. Have you ever worn a woman’s suit? ---- I.... guess so? I don’t know. 33. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? ---- Do my boyfriend’s shorts count? 34. Do you eat meat? ---- No. 35. Do you consider yourself a feminist? ---- Yes. 36. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? ---- Elton John 37. Are you religious at all? ---- No. 38. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peak or staring at a cute female woman? ---- probably more often than I even notice I do. 39. What is your ideal first date? ---- Coffee date! 40. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, dyke, or tranny? ---- I use neither of those for myself and also wouldn’t use them for anyone else unless they explicitly told me it was okay. 41. How outdoorsy are you? ---- Little. 42. In general, has being open about your sexuality affected your relationships with other females women (jesus fucking christ stop calling women “females”!!! we’re not cattle)? ---- I don’t know. Maybe it has intensified some friendships just because I started being more authentic. 43. How much makeup do you typically wear? ---- Usually none at all, sometimes lipstick and when I’m feeling very fancy some mascara and eye liner. 44. Have you ever attended a gay or lesbian wedding? ---- No. Well.... I was at a wedding of a bi women and a bi man but I know some fractions of the LGBTQIA+ community wouldn’t say this counts. 45. Are you more feminine or more masculine? ---- I’m... me? I guess others would say I’m more feminine. 46. How long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person? ---- 1 1/2 years and counting :) 47. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? 48. Do you think it is possible for someone to truly be a 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed in favor of one gender? ---- I think the person who wrote this question has a very wrong understanding of what bisexuality is; and the way this is phrased makes it really sound like “do you think bisexuality exists or is everyone really just gay or straight?” 49. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? ---- No. 50. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers? ---- Alayna Fender, Ash Hardell, ContraPoints and Lindsey Ellis 51. Do you wear any combat boots, Doc Martins, or Timberlands? ---- I have a set of boots with floral print. 52. Have you ever been hit on by another female woman (djkbdnkmg)? ---- Yes. 53. How athletic are you? ---- Not at all. 54. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use? ---- Let people be whatever gender they want to be and fucking let them pee!!! 55. What is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? ---- Not for me but looks good on some people. 56. What does equality mean to you? ---- It means equality. 57. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other females women? ---- okay I’m starting to hate this list of questions more and more the further down I get. Has this person ever talked to a bisexual person before??? Has this person ever talked to another WOMAN before??? “If you’re not a 100% lesbian then.... how much percent lesbian are you?” 58. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? ---- Never had a girlfriend. 59. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? ---- No, but my name is rare in my country. 60. How flirty are you? ---- VERY! “Flirty” is my middle name. 61. Are you a virgin? ---- No but virginity is a shitty concept that should be abolished. 62. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians (i.e. Tegan & Sara, Melissa Ehteridge, Chely Wright, Elton John, Sam Smith, George Michael, Adam Lambert)? ---- ELTON JOHN!!!! Also Sia, David Bowie, Janelle Monáe... 63. Have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? ---- No and I’m not gay anyway. 64. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain. ---- Not that I can remember but I did have to listen to some biphobic bullshit in my lifetime. 65. Have you ever driven an SUV, Jeep,  or a pickup truck? ---- I can’t drive. 66. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy? ---- No. 67. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. ---- Again, I think the person who wrote this is forgetting the existence of bisexuality and pansexuality and any other m-spec variation. And also... straight people exist. 68. What personality trait are you most attracted to? ---- Know that tumlr post that’s like “name a non-sexual act that turns you on” and someone responded “when they reply to your sarcasm with something even more sarcastic” 69. Boobs or butts? ---- Both. 70. Beer or wine? ---- Wine. 71. Do you have a favorite lesbian movie? ---- Don’t really watch “lesbian movies”. 72. From 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? 73. From 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? 74. From 1-10, how attractive are women who are covered with tattoos? 75. From 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 76. From 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? 77. From 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 78. From 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women? 79. From 1-10, how attractive are tall women (i.e. around 6 feet or taller)? ---- If you think I’m gonna rate women on a scale like some misogynistic fuckboy then you are wrong! 80. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? 81. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you? ---- “Has a girl ever perpetuated a bisexual stereotype that I want to confirm so I can continue distrusting bisexuals?” 82. Do you carry a purse? ---- Usually I have a little backpack but I also have purses for spexial occassions. 83. Do you wear any hats such as snapbacks or beanies? ---- I wear a bowler hat in fall/winter 84. Have you ever pretended to be completely straight? ---- What is it with that “completely” straight? As if someone can be half straight. Newsflash: Bisexual people aren’t Gay Lite or Straight with a dash of Gay. 85. Would you ever date a trans girl? ---- Yes, of course I would. 86. How well do you think LGBT women are portrayed on television? ---- Usually not that accurately. 87. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? ---- Hmmm... usually the women I fall for are closer to my age. Men on the other hand... I like them old! 88. Do you have any celebrity crushes? ---- Yep, lots. 89. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? ---- Potential murderers, just like anyone else in the military. 90. Do you believe in love at first sight? ---- No. But I believe in attraction at first sight. 91. Have you ever been told that you look gay (i.e. like a lesbian)? ---- No. 92. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? ---- In your friend circle. 93. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? ---- Yes. 94. Have you ever had a one night stand? ---- Yes. 95. How often do you wear a bra? ---- Most days but in summer I sometimes go without one depending on my outfit and the temperature. 96. Have you ever been part of a softball team? ---- No. 97. If you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? ---- Yes. 98. What stereotype about LGBT women do you disagree with the most? ---- I disagree with all stereotypes because the function that stereotypes are supposed to fulfill is to give people permission to single out a group of people and judge them. Some people fit a stereotype - so what? Doesn’t mean all other people from that group do the same. 99. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? ---- Take your time, be kind to yourself, talk to other queer people. 100. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out?  ---- Put your own safety first. If someone doesn’t accept you then they don’t deserve being a part of your life.