#something is sad. I get that Karen is just not really Aware of other people but man.
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YANDERE DAICHI SAWAMURA HEADCANONS
Like Suga, he's a really protective yandere and he will do WHATEVER the HELL it takes to keep you safe
He is a yandere who is aware of his abnormal yandere tendencies about himself for you and he knows that being really obsessed with you is really creepy ASF but he really can't help himself. It's not HIS fault you looked so cute in that jacket you were wearing today BUT that skirt of yours.... he gets really overprotective of you when you wear kinda revealing clothes EVEN if it's a cold shoulder top
Daichi is an intelligent guy and there's no WAY you'll be able to escape from his fervent stalking like, at ALL
He is a really terrifying yandere to be precise. He will not hesitate to murder someone if they do something wrong to you. Remember that crazy Karen who slapped you on the face a few days back while you were going grocery shopping? Well, looks like she went missing and her family had several 'accidents'
Daichi is a man who will make sure you feel safe and protected at all times when you're around him and before you ask me WHY, it's because of the protective aura that he gives off
Daichi knows how to interact with you in public and he's the type of guy who always insists on holding your hand no matter where you go
He gets paranoid as HELL every single freaking god damn minute of the day since he's really worried about your health and safety. Are you sleeping properly? Are you eating regularly? Are you taking good care of your health? And he's also the type of person who will freak the freak out if you're hanging out with someone else OTHER than him and though he knows what he's doing is wrong by following you wherever you go and stalking you here and there, he just doesn't care. It's all to keep you safe of course
His mind will be revolving ONLY around you 24 FREAKING 7!!!
Daichi finds the things you do subconsciously really cute like when you bite your lip if you're thinking about something (Don't do that too often since if it starts bleeding, he's gonna but you the entire line of lip balms in a cosmetics store), when you pout when something happens and when you shift or pick your nails etc etc. He admires and respects your daring and outstanding personality and he'll go over the memory of how you handled yourself in a bad situation over and over again in his head
Now, when it comes to rivals, he's not going to think twice to use his position and pin the blame for something HE did on someone else and it works 99 percent of the times and he does this since he doesn't want anyone else taking advantage of your wonderful personality. He just wants you t be dependent on him and not anyone else. And so, when people start avoiding you like the Corona, you'll of course be really sad and miserable but don't worry, your Prince Charming Daichi has arrived with tissues, a tub of your favorite snacks and made you some of his delicious home made cookies :)
He will kidnap you within less than a month if I say so myself and when he does, he'll know how confused and lost you're feeling and so, he'll be ready to hold and hug you when you scream and cry and sob. He's prepared for all your little tantrums and will make sure that you love him one day
If you're trying to escape, he'll behave like he's punishing a little kid. Taking away their favorite items, gently scolding them and putting them in time out and unfortunately for you, that's the same way he's going to inflict punishments on you
He will hug you after that and tell you how sorry he is and it was your fault since you weren't willing to cooperate with him
He is awfully affectionate and really doting on you and so, the best thing you can do is just accept him for everyone's sake and if you don't, he's willing to pull you into a bone crushing hug. When it comes to keeping you safe from the outside world, believe it or not, he'll actually let you go out but you have to hold his hand no matter what or else, you'll be confined to the house for the rest of your life
#yandere haikyuu#yandere haikyuu characters x reader#yandere haikyuu characters#yandere haikyuu x reader#yandere daichi sawamura#yandere daichi sawamura x reader#yandere daichi sawamura scenarios#yandere daichi sawamura headcanons#yandere daichi sawamura oneshots#yandere daichi sawamura imagines#dark daichi x reader#dark daichi sawamura#dark haikyuu#dark haikyuu characters#dark haikyuu characters x reader
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Umm... that girl who reblogged a post from her male friend who you made all your buddies send rude anons to? Don't play dumb
edit: removed usernames bc i would hate to be told i’m bullying by setting my followers on these people or something like that
Are you joking?
Nobody made anybody do anything. I don't know who sent her anons, but she is literally a 20 year old adult who was called out on something shitty. Do you think I give enough of a shit about her to send friends to send anons? Or do you think nobody has an any agency? Like did she send YOU to send anons? Or are you just here being a knight for no reason.
After simple research, she has been crying non-stop about anons she got that were evidently not remotely rude (if they were the ones published on her blog) and she consistently has been fucking lamenting over how shitty things are for her.
You all don't seem to get it so I will spell it out nicely for you:
[REDACTED] posted a long post about how he was HATE CRIMED. Literally, "I was a victim of a hate crime". Then detailed how the specific hate crime was that a black woman (an "African American woman" rather) crossed the street to avoid his house while he was standing watering his front yard.
Now, there are SEVERAL reasons why any person would cross the street to avoid a person watering their lawn (one being that they don't want to get wet??).
But of course, this individual decided to give us more information. He said he was a 40 year 6'4 caucasian male. Fairly fit or whatever his description was. She was a black woman.
Not only did he profile her immediately, he ASSUMED she was judging his singular pride flag hanging outside his house. Not anything else. Now if you don't know why a black woman or any woman really would want to avoid a 6'4 man (a white man!) in today's climate/society/environment, then you need to TURN ON THE NEWS.
(side bar - if you think this is a hate crime, then you are simply a white karen and you will stop at nothing to make yourself a victim in situations where you want to exert power over the agency of minority populations. full stop.)
Now your dear friend [REDACTED] reblogged it and said "this is so sad uwu signal boost bc more people need to be aware" and "mental health" or some other obnoxious shit like that. There is nothing to signal boost here. Do you know why? Because you have yet another white man profiling a black woman and stripping her of her agency, her entire being, and what she was doing (which was minding her own business) just so he could make a post about being sad about hurt feelings. That's all it was. People get hurt feelings all the time from social interactions they don't understand, but you can see not ONCE in his essay-length post did he consider what she was thinking. Somehow, to him, the only thing that could have been going through a black woman's mind as she encountered a 6'4 white man watering his lawn was that she wanted to hate crime him by minding her own business and walking across the street.
never mind that he was obviously tracking her for several minutes by watching her exact positioning at any given time.
so no, i do not believe it was right for her to reblog it. she can reblog what she wants on her blog, but she now wants to cry wolf and point to things that are simply untrue. i am not making anybody send her things, nor have i posted about it publicly at the level she has. she has simply made herself out to be a victim when she is not one. in fact, she was told by, ostensibly, several black individuals (black women if i recall correctly) what she was doing was uncomfortable and wrong and all she did, instead of removing the post was to remove the "signal boost" tag and leave "mental health".
There is no mental health at all associated with that post. There is nothing to be gained from that post, at least nothing of value to other people. it was not a coping method, it was not important. somebody's feelings were hurt and that was it. this person, rather than knowing how to cope with hurt feelings in a totally proportionate way to the situation, decided to blow it out of proportion. and your dear friend, instead of talking to her friend privately like most people would, decided to make it everybody's problem by reblogging it. then told maybe one or two black individuals (or the same one) to get off her blog when they identified themselves as such.
she, for some reason still has the reblogged post up so you can see several people's comments on his original post. nobody sent him anons (to my knowledge) and nobody that i know sent her anons (to my knowledge).
PEOPLE WERE UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE OF THE POST. This not just that he's a fucking dude in the PP fandom, this is about him making it uncomfortable for several people, especially black people. So they can make it out to be an "oh my god theresa and her friends want people to be excluded from this fandom" um??/ nobody fucking said that? and i certainly do not endorse that? it was uncomfortable bc it was like a thousand microaggressions in each sentence!
for the record, i am not black and i would never pretend to be black. What i did was (1) send her a DM after she unfollowed me bc i got a couple anons and (2) posted in a gc tagging her, to which she unfollowed. i also posted screenshots on twitter.
so you can take these as it is, but if she wants to call me a "demon" or a "minion" or whatever, that's fine with me. i said my piece several days ago and she is the one who is CONSTANTLY bringing it up.
this is not bullying. she and her friends simply do not understand what is going on and have re-characterized this as something that it simply isn't. and they are consistently talking about it, crying about it, and bringing it up in ways that are DRAGGING THIS OUT for no reason.
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I’ve seen different people on here mentioning losing friends in recent years (including Charity), and I think it’s quite sad. It would be super cool if one day we could all have a big ‘Funky Mbti’ party and meet each other, but until then, I wanted to wish you all better luck finding friends, and may really good ones come to you next year.
That would be fun.
I'm hoping 2023 is the year of "finding new irl friends for me," but I know it won't be unless I do something different moving forward.
(Also, Charity you definitely have a 613 vibe and i would imagine it’s probably why so many people mistake you for an xstj through your writing. It definitely gives that impression. 🤗)
Yeah. I tried to back off from it yesterday and hide in 2 to escape the cringe, but there's just no mistaking the 3 fix now I am aware of it. I actually am amused at watching myself react to this typing, because on one hand, there's all this pride at being the most "get shit done" tritype (absolutely true) and all this shame at being called a Karen. You know, the "I want to talk to your manager!" type.
Which I would never do, because it's so cringe/rude/entitled.
I started laughing this morning, because I was complaining about how disorganized a podcast I listen to is; they start in on a series and promise they're going to follow through and then get sidetracked and start another series, so I'm left waiting for the continuation of the first series five months later and getting annoyed at how disorganized they are, when they should have just scheduled it and completed it.
It is a weird combination -- ENFP and 613, but it explains a lot. I even had one Enneagram enthusiast who is into MBTI say it stunned him at first, but then it "explained everything about you, and why you don't fit either the 613 Karen stereotype or the flighty ENFP one. You are too emotional and idealistic for an STJ, but also weirdly logical and willing to accept criticism and follow through on things."
So, I'll accept it. Tho, I think 3w2 over 3w4. I am project-oriented, but also people-y and I just see a lot of 2. And I might be 631 instead of 613. I think image-second is where some softness (what some of you have called the "big sister" energy) is coming from.
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ok seeing you of all people being shook and starting to doubt has seriously thrown me… I am now super sad. I am debating skipping the season and ditching the show altogether. I am tired of being queerbaited, don’t wanna sit through it again. don’t wanna watch a gay character be sad and gay and pining over someone only to get rejected and the het teens be propped up. pass. it’s 2022. don’t wanna support that shit anymore
Alright, deep breaths. In & Out. In & Out.
Count to ten.
Ok, ready.
I apologize. It was a very rough day at work today. One of the kids was extremely emotional, and, for an empath like me, that can have a profound impact on my mood. I was definitely not in my best, most logical, frame of mind when I was checking this stuff out.
I do have a big fear of being queerbaited, or simply even just having a gay character, particularly a gay teen, end up sad and alone or with some token, undeveloped love interest. That's a personal issue of mine that has, understandably, influenced my reception to certain things about media, including Stranger Things.
I want to look at what we've had lately in a more rationale way, though.
We've had a bunch of interviews, at least one of which was actually done a while ago, but only now just printed.
In these interviews, Mike and El's relationship in season 4 is spoken about using some very interesting language. They are described as being "married, with no possibility of divorce," "they don't have a normal life and this is the way it is for them," and "they haven't had anyone else to like." In another interview, Finn describes El like "a piece of you that you can't get off of you" and "a leech." It was said jokingly, but it's a very odd turn of phrase. None of it sounds romantic, regardless of how often either of them claim Mike and El are in love.
It sounds like they're just resigned to each other, as if there simply isn't any other option. They could only ever have each other.
This makes their goodbye scene in season 3 make a lot more sense, actually. El, feeling everything falling apart, reaches back for Mike in a way that surprises him. He clearly wasn't expecting it, and, in fact, didn't appear to want it. His freakout can now be explained in a different way.
"Oh, shit. She says she loves me, too. What the hell do I do now?"
Mike can't break up with her. She'd be devastated. He's all she has, and she already lost Hopper. I don't know if Mike had any gay revelation at that point anymore, but I do think he realized how utterly screwed he was. He cares far too much for El to hurt her, and so he now feel like he's, well, stuck. He screwed up by saying he loved her in the first place, something she was never meant to hear.
Now he comes to visit. El is very excited, possibly the happiest she's been since she left. What's Mike to do? In his mind, he has no choice but to do the expected thing. He's going to be the good boyfriend to her, giving her whatever it is that need needs.
His and El's relationship is already just like his parents' relationship. One can assume that Karen and Ted loved each other, or at least though they did, at one point. The problem was that neither one ever took the step of recognizing the relationship was never meant to be. Nancy noticed it with Steve, so she ended it. Steve was broken up, as he really did like her, but he got over it, even learning to appreciate Nancy in a non-romantic way.
Mike hasn't learned this. Yet.
We know that Jonathan and Mike will have some moments together. Finn had mentioned that he shared a lot of scenes with Charlie (obviously) and that people would be checking up on Mike. It's reasonable to think that Jonathan might have a man-to-man with Mike. Jonathan is aware that Karen and Ted are miserable together. Nancy told him all about it. I think Jonathan might pick up on something being wrong, and he might be able to get things out of Mike that he's not willing to say to anyone else.
Jonathan is also El's big brother now. He doesn't want to see El get hurt. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to Mike, she's more likely to be hurt in the long term by being in an empty relationship than she is by being set free.
Regardless of what happens with Mike and Will, the situation with Mike and El needs to be resolved. They do not appear to be in love. El feels like she has no other option, and Mike is so afraid of hurting her that he's going to just go along with it. He might be dealing with some other stuff, yes, but that would just be in addition to him feeling obligated to being with El.
It's a very sad situation, actually, but it can all work out for the best with the one thing that Mike has been bad at.
Honesty.
Stop lying, Mike.
As for the whole situation with Will, well...
He was twice described as being a third wheel to Mike and El in Noah's newest interview. That's not terribly unusual in and of itself. In fact, it really does go along with what we saw in the trailer. What makes me think is the fact that Noah brought it up the second time when asked about Will's own chances at romance. This is an unforced reference. He answered by mentioning it's the same old Will, always struggling to find a relationship. When did Will ever seem to do that? He says we see that, referring to him struggling to find a relationship, by him third wheeling. That makes little sense, even from a teenager. He linked the two situations together.
Yes, if one struggles to find a relationship, they may end up being stuck as a third wheel. However, we've never seen Will pursue a relationship. Not in any explicit manner, anyway. If we combine this with that fact that he's "struggling to find himself," then we see a clearer picture.
Will is realizing he's gay. He may have had the feelings all along, but this might be the start to him actually be aware of what it is. Being a third wheel is never fun, but for Will it will be particularly rough because he will realize, maybe for the first time, maybe not, that the one he wants is already taken. It's only ever been Mike having a girlfriend that has bothered him.
So, yeah, a mild freakout earlier caused by a rough day at work. Now that I'm home and calm, I'm able to look at this information more rationally. What we hear from them still does fit the narrative. I can't say with any certainty anymore that I know where they're going with it, but they haven't broken the narrative, yet. Not yet, anyway.
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Light of the Jedi | by Charles Soule
Even after I’d turned the page from this moment, my mind kept drifting back to it, because the context of the story is that there’s so much belief and faith placed in the Jedi in this book, how there’s this sense of the galaxy around them being rather awe-struck by them.
As well as moments like this from the Jedi themselves:
And it reminded me so strongly of a conversation between Obi-Wan and Bail in Wild Space by Karen Miller:
"All I meant," [Bail] said at last, his voice tight, "is that it's a shame the other people hurt in the terrorist attacks can't experience the same benefits of Jedi healing that you did." He looked up, then, and his eyes were haunted. "I saw some of them, you know. After. And even with intensive bacta treatment there are now children who'll have to go through life hideously maimed and disfigured. It's…sad. It's cruel. That's all I meant."
The man's compassion was laudable, but his inferences were insulting. "I think what you meant, Senator, is that it's somehow unfair that I'm not sharing their fate," Obi-Wan snapped. And then he caught hold of his temper. Crushed it before he said something truly unfortunate. "It's not because we don't care," he continued, far more moderately. "We do, I assure you. However, healing is one of our rarest gifts. We help as many as we can, wherever we can, and keenly regret that we cannot help more. But are you saying that because we can't help everyone, we shouldn't help anyone?"
"No. I'm sorry," said Organa, shaking his head. "This isn't coming out right. I really am on your side, you know. I admire the Jedi enormously. I am in awe of what you do. But in case you hadn't noticed it, this war has thrust you onto center stage. You're in the news every day. Everything you do is being examined. Magnified. And when the novelty's worn off, it's going to be second-guessed, and maybe even held up for censure. Especially if the war drags on, or doesn't go our way. Because you have been placed on a pedestal as tall as any Coruscant skyscraper."
"That was never our intention, Senator, I assure you."
"I know," said Organa. "But you're up there regardless. You're the Jedi, Master Kenobi. Larger than life and twice as hard to kill. Still, the more systems the Separatists entice or strong-arm to their side, the more suffering and fear the Republic experiences, the closer the Separatists creep to the Core, and the longer it takes the Jedi to end this conflict—the harder your pedestal is going to rock. Especially if it's perceived that you're not suffering like everyone else."
"Not suffering, Senator?" he said, incredulous. "After Geonosis? After the engagements we've fought already? And losing the Falleen battle group? Must the Jedi Temple itself fall before it can be agreed that the Jedi are also paying a price for this war we did not start?"
"Of course not," said Organa. "I'm talking about perception, not reality. The bedrock of politics. I think you'll grant it's one of my areas of expertise."
The least honorable of them all. Obi-Wan nodded. "I concede your point."
"And I wish you didn’t have to," Organa replied. "Master Kenobi, the Jedi have been the Republic's peacekeepers for generations. Citizens are used to you solving their local problems. Their community disputes. But we both know that what we're facing is far more complicated. And I promise you, I promise—when things get really bad you will be blamed."
Curd-and-vegetable stew forgotten, Obi-Wan stared in silence at the Senator from Alderaan.
"I'm sorry," said Organa, turning away. "'You don't have to say it. I'm just a politician. It's none of my business."
Just a politician? No. Far from it. Now it was clear why Padmé liked and trusted this princeling from Alderaan. He was…unexpected.
"The Jedi aren't blind, Senator," he said at last. "We're perfectly aware that our elevation in the public eye is problematic. We opposed it vigorously. We continue to oppose it. We are, as you say, peacekeepers. Not celebrities. The Supreme Chancellor should reconsider his tactics. We feel very strongly there is a chance they could end up doing us more harm than good."
That this is a big part of the problem and what went wrong--the galaxy got so used to the Jedi bringing miracles to them, that no matter how hard the Jedi tried to oppose it, the public still demanded that they keep performing those miracles, keep solving all their problems, keep fighting their wars for them.
And you see it here, in the High Republic. The public thinks, “Miracles are for the Jedi.” The Jedi are expected to bring these incredible feats of nobility and space magic and heroicism, which is great and saves the day! But you do that for a hundred years and then suddenly, when you can’t save everyone, when you have an almost literal unwinnable war that’s being laid at your feet, and a bad faith government who holds power over you and your own power is basically trapped in this incredibly narrowly defined window and you can’t possibly turn your back on the people who still need your help, all while you never wanted and even vigorously opposed being put on this pedestal in the first place?
It just really hit me like a brick how something so good can be turned on the people who just wanted to do their best to help others.
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Your trevor meta is making me realize how weird it is that the writers and cast were so insistent that mickey wasn't coming back, because I don't think theyve ever really known what to do with ian's story without him. They put him in these lukewarm relationships and tell us they're so much better and healthier, but then have ian straight up admit that he still loves mickey and nobody else has made him feel the same way. How do they set that up and then have him go back to trevor? They set up ian moving on with "I'm not that person anymore" and follow up with season 8. It's like okay...who he is now is gay Jesus? Lmao. He's always been the shows forgotten middle child and after they wrote mickey off "for good" they could have taken him in a million directions but they chose one so shitty it basically made cam leave lmao. Sometimes it feels like fan insistence kind of forced mickey back but in actuality, the seasons where he's gone just hammer home that he was always the inevitable end to ian's story. So bizarre how little the showrunners understand their own story sometimes.
Ok. I’m going to be a little more Doylist here than I usually am, because we’re talking about what the writers are thinking. And I’m also going to take this opportunity to share this fascinating article from the AV Club in 2016: When Fan Engagement Goes Wrong. Everyone beware, it contains significant spoilers for The 100. But it’s also largely about Gallavich, the fact that online promotion of Shameless leaned hard into the popularity of the couple, and were up against it when Noel left. I’ll quote:
“[Supervising Producer Shelia] Callaghan’s choice to be honest and straightforward when engaging with fans is admirable, and yet also on some level futile. She can’t tell them exactly why Fisher chose to leave, she is (logically) unwilling to spoil future storylines outright, and she can only speak her own mind as part of a collaborative process over which she holds only some influence. So while many fans respect her effort to maintain the connection to this now marginalized community, others attack, reinforcing that attempting to manage these situations is a full-time job that no one has been properly trained for.”
This article links some tweets and the one I find the most interesting is this one:
“But the actor left. So...what to do? Have them just break up?? Felt way less true to me than a forced separation!”
That tweet is from Krista Vernoff, who wanted to convey that they tried really hard to come up with what they do with Ian now that he’d lost Mickey. And I’m sure they did try really hard. And.... People hated it. Mostly.
Here’s what I think, based on what I’ve read and the interviews I’ve seen, on deleted tweets and Tumblr rumours and YouTube clips: The show didn’t want Mickey to leave the canvas. At all. Noel wanted more money. The show could not come up with both that money and the money they needed for everyone else. The show let him go. And hoped they could solve the creative problem their budgetary problem had dumped in their lap.
I actually think Ian’s story in season six is decent. I miss Mickey, of course. I find the last scene with him really painful -- but it’s not painful because the show is trying to diminish him. They write and then cut together a scene where Mickey is DEMONSTRATIVELY still deeply in love with Ian. He’s carved his name in his chest. He is looking at Ian like he’s the most beautiful creature ever given breath. And Ian can barely meet his gaze. They tell us Mickey is being sent away for 16 years but when we see the last of Mickey Milkovich in season six I think “God, this is so sad. They love each other so much and this is so fucked up.”
I do NOT think “We are NEVER EVER EVER getting back together.”
The show always knew what it had with Ian and Mickey. They leaned into it promotionally. They gave meaty storylines to the characters, particularly given that Ian was the fourth lead on a family dramedy built around six children. John Wells replaced Aaron Sorkin on The West Wing. He knows how hard it is to follow a phenomenon.
The more I think about it, honestly? I don’t think they tried. I think they knew that they couldn’t bring in Mickey Milkovich, the sequel in season six, so they brought in Caleb. And maybe they meant for him to be a LITTLE more viable than he was... but I think there’s a pretty good chance they were just throwing something at the wall to see if it stuck, while being fully aware that the important storyline in season six was getting Ian from despair to a fulfilling career. Caleb was just there as a catalyst.
Season seven if more interesting, because Trevor is brought on and it’s very much... “Hey, let’s do something new. Let’s bring on a transmasc character and put him into a relationship with Ian and explore those complications.”
“Great! Put it up on the board!”
“Also. Let’s call Noel Fisher’s people and see what we can work out because we can do better with Mickey’s send off and people are yelling at me on the street about it.”
Quite honestly, these are not equal tasks for his writer’s room. You have one story -- Create a whole ass new character. The only thing we know is that he’s trans. Figure out the romance from there. You have six episodes to get them together as an established couple.
Then: Bring back the well-established and beloved character for an epic romantic two-episode arc where he reunites with his true love and they run away together and then ultimately realize it cannot be, and say goodbye and it all feels like I Will Always Love You should be playing in the background. They actors worked together for five years. They have a great professional partnership. They like working together. They have a ton of history so there’s lots of juicy subtext. The longing and sexual tension comes pre-established. See what you can do.
HOW do you make both those things work out so that they are equal? You need lightening to strike. And that already happened on How I Met Your Mother. They squandered their good luck and now there is none left for Shameless. I do not disparage Elliot Fletcher at all when I say that for Trevor and Ian to really work he’d have had to have come with scorching chemistry with Cam, rich material that really gave them a good opportunity to build rapport between the characters, and A wizard standing by to cast spells in the wings. They had SIX episodes, a pretty average connection between the actors, and the “these are the LGBTQ+ people in your neighbourhood” scene.
I just can’t believe that someone with as many years of TV writing under his belt as John Wells has expected that to work. He hoped the Trevor story might be good, and was certainly going to break some ground in terms of telling trans stories. And the Mickey story was going to be the highlight, because he knew people wanted it and he also knew that they’d had something pretty special to start with. Which is why people were yelling at him at Comic-Con. I DO think he hoped it might placate fans a bit. But... he wasn’t going to completely close the door on Mickey this time, either.
So... I don’t really think the show every intended to write Mickey off “for good”. I think they wrote him off “for now, and we’ll see what happens...” -- and they did that with Karen, Shelia, Jody, Steve and Fiona, too. They only brought a few of those people back... They brought Mickey back three times. They ended Gallavich FOUR times. Noel is in ever season except eight. I don’t think they wanted Mickey gone -- but I KNOW the fans also made it pretty hard for them not to know his value, so absolutely I think that played a role. But when you create something people love and you get that lightening in a bottle like they did with this story, I think writers are always going to be excited to get that back. They like praise! They like people to be excited about their show. And Gallavich was always one of the things that got people excited about Shameless.
I think they also wanted Gay Jesus to be a great story. But that’s why the lightening in the bottle is so valuable. You can’t just get it anywhere.
#asks#I hope this answered the question#I am honestly so interested in the behind-the-scenes efforts to make season 7 work#and I do think they wanted Gay Jesus to be a great story#and instead... Cam quit#because no#writing is hard#shameless season 7#shameless season 6#shameless season 8#shameless without mickey#thanks for asking!#God I hope that was an answer#Gallavich meta
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i think this is one of the quotes anon was talking about: https://thegilly.tumblr.com/post/29568742275/the-beatles-and-me-by-neil-aspinall-scanned
(Link) (CW eating disorders)
That magazine article actually breaks my heart - the way that he’s legitimately torturing himself is just so upsetting. And in reading about John dieting the way he did, I can especially empathise with him because ive had a lot of the same experiences.
Some points I took note of from the article are:
1. John ate one meal a day, which was steak with a large salad - that means he was probably eating less then a 1000 calories a day, and id guess he was maybe only getting about 800 (?) calories a day at most with that diet. 800 calories or less is literally starvation.
2. “John wont even look at bread” - this is the definition of an ‘unsafe food’. People with restrictive ED’s do eat, but they tend to have “safe” and “unsafe” foods. I suspect John considers bread unsafe because he knows its a binge food, and a food that he thinks will cause him weight gain - again, its just so sad that he would put himself through this misery. I also think that he probably felt meats were probably relatively safe for him to eat.
3. He had two different suits - one for when he was at his normal, healthy weight and another for when he had lost weight. He would bring them both on tour with him because his weight would fluctuate so much.
4. His regular weight was about 159lbs; apparently he was around 139lbs when he died (at least, thats what a quick google search tells me, so I don’t know how true that is. But certainly he was far thinner by the time he died).
5. “Right before a tour, he’ll do everything he can to lose weight” - this appears to speak especially to the theory that Johns ED might have been sparked largely by the pressures of fame and publicity.
6. “John hardly touches his salad, and he wont even look at the other boys eat.” - He’s eating the most miserable meal on the planet guys :’(
7. “John begins to look at me apprehensively. He has hunger pains in his eyes! Finally, when he is about to “break down” I…pull out the meat sandwiches.” - He was in actual, physical pain because he was so hungry.
8. “John takes the meat out of the sandwiches and eats every tiny sliver he can find. Then he stuffs the leftover slices of bread into a bag, which I take from him (so that he wont break down again and eat those).” - I would constitute this behaviour as a “binge”, because to me a binge is not based necessarily on the quantity of food you eat, or the amount of calories you take in, but more so about how in control and contented you are during and after eating. John wasn’t in control here, and its because its his bodies natural reaction when its in starvation mode.
9. “[Johns] main complaint is ‘How come Paul never gains an ounce — and he eats twice as much as I do?’”
10. “John is sure some kind of curse is set on his head — or is stomach as it were!”
Im not going to judge everyone for seemingly not making any real efforts to help John recover from his ED, because I don’t think ED’s became something that the general public were aware of until about the early 80s with Karen Carpenters death - and its taken years for people to even really begin recognising that a lot of men also suffer from ED’s! And so im not going to criticise them for not recognising that John legitimately was displaying symptoms of an ED, but I do think its just really sad that they were all watching John starve and torture himself, and couldn’t really do anything about it. And because they weren’t recognising him as mentally ill here, they probably all just accepted his diet as a bit of a laugh, whilst still knowing there was something more sinister underpinning it.*
(*I wonder however what Paul might have thought about all this, because we know that Paul was prone to being a sort of caretaker for John, and in a lot of ways “mothered” him. I feel like Paul would’ve recognised that only eating one meal a day was a problem, and maybe sort of laughed it off a bit because he couldn’t have known it was a legitimate mental illness - but also, I hope he would try to encourage John to eat. Id like to hear him talk about this in an interview someday, though I doubt anyone would ask him about this stuff)
This is just genuinely one of the most depressing things ive ever read about John, and if its a topic you feel comfortable reading id encourage anyone to give it a read (although if you think it could be damaging for your mental health, id say avoid it!).
And overall, im just really surprised that no biographer appears to have ever really spoken about this topic in a nuanced manner.
#cw ed#cw anorexia#cw eating disorder#john lennon ed#john lennon#johns psyche#this just makes me so so sad#he reminds me so much of ME#and thats just sad#like reading about seeing hunger in his eyes#<<< i know that pain!! i know that hunger!#@sergeantpeppa
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Meeting and Dating Karen Smith
(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)
- You met Karen after the two of you became lab partners.
- You cant deny that Karen is gorgeous and surprisingly sweet for “a plastic” but dear god, she is shit at science. At first it really annoyed you, thinking she was just slacking off, but then you realized that she was trying, she was really trying and she just didn’t get any of it.
- That was when you began to feel guilty for ever thinking she was just being a bitch and letting you do all the real work. So, for your own conscience; and your grades, you offered to tutor her.
- The two of you began to meet in the library after school and since it was obvious what you were doing; and everyone knew how Karen ...was, it wasn’t an issue for her or the plastics “image”.
- Speaking of how Karen ...is, she doesn’t care about “taboos” so once she thinks she likes you, she’ll blatantly let you know.
- You’d been teaching her a certain concept, she’d called you a genius and then proceeded to once again get lost. While she listened to you drone on, she looked at you then trailed her eyes down your chest.
- Just as you were about to ask if she got all that, she called you “hot” and while you sat there flustered, she excitedly asked if you wanted to go out.
- If it were any of the other plastics, you would have immediately assumed they were making some cruel joke, but this was Karen and the slightly absent, hopeful look on her face told you she was being serious. So you agreed.
“Great! Do you like Build-A-Bear?”
- As you might have guessed, for your first date, the two of you go to a Build-A-Bear workshop and, well, build a Bear. She insists that you both make little voice chips for each other’s bear and she says a “You’re cute!” into yours.
- She kisses your cheek after your first date but that doesn’t really count as a first kiss so your first real kiss happens after you were out sick for a week.
- The minute she saw you in the hall, she all but ran over to you, wrapping her arms around your neck and pressing a soft, chaste kiss to your lips. A few people stopped and stared; particularly Regina and Gretchen but she merely took your hand and dragged you over to meet her friends.
- And so, whether you like it or not, you’re now a part of the plastics.
- Karen doesn’t quite understand the closet and she certainly doesn’t understand it enough to care so Pda is a big thing in your relationship. And since Karen is, well, Karen, people just think that she’s saying the wrong thing when she’s talking about your relationship.
- Her snuggling into you while you stand at your lockers.
- Excited hugs.
- Holding pinkies while you walk.
- Sweet, soft kisses.
- Making out. Shes a good kisser and she thinks you are too.
- Wearing snuggly clothes and cuddling together. She likes laying her head on your chest and wrapping her arms around you.
- A shit ton of pet and nick names. She practically never calls you your real name.
- Compliments. She calls you “fine” a lot.
- Butt pats.
- Sometimes she’ll just randomly start playng with or braiding your hair; just dont pay her any mind.
- Random bursts of laughter. The two of you constantly get into laughing fits together.
- Couples traditions.
- Matching stuffed animals.
- Going shopping.
- She likes accessorizing and dressing you up.
- Letting her use your notes and copy off you in class.
- Correcting her when she gets something wrong.
- Letting her show you her weird tricks.
- She sort of instinctively follows you around like a lost puppy. She’s just used to it because of Regina.
- Shes always down to hangout no matter what time it is.
- She usually suggests going places that she knows you like, especially if you’re sad. She knows all your favorites places and your favorite times to go there.
- She likes trying things, even if she knows she isn’t good at them. She’d always want to try and take part in your hobbies.
- Dancing together.
- Study dates.
- Fast food and lots of sweets.
- Baking together.
- Childish games. Playing chase, Hide and seek, etc.
- Coloring together. She likes keeping the pictures that you make.
- You find that her eyes are trained on you a lot. She just thinks you’re really pretty.
- She’s got a ton of pictures of you; and the two of you together, on her wall. There’s a huge collage taped up next to her mirror.
- She likes looking around your stuff. She’ll usually find something fun for the two of you to do or something that reminds her of a story she can tell you.
- Gossiping together. She’ll learn her rumors from Gretchen and relay them to you.
- A lot of things get her all bubbly and excited so you get to sit back and watch the adorable show.
- Indulging the little things that make her happy. She always seems to be doing something for someone else so it’s nice to be able to do something for her, isn’t it?
- Always having a helping hand. She may not understand what you’re doing or wind up accidentally messing it up but it’s the thought that counts, right?
- Whenever she gets scared, she instinctively hides behind or into you. It’s really kind of adorable.
- Trying your best to comfort her after she hears nasty rumors about herself.
- She always seems to know how to cheer you up no matter what’s upsetting you. Sometimes it’s purely by accident, other times she’s fully aware of what she’s doing; it depends on what’s the problem.
- She gets pretty jealous of you. Usually, she’ll pout from afar, furrowing her perfect brows and/or glaring at the person. She’ll interrupt the two of you, pulling you with her to “show you something” only for that something to be made up on the spot; or her flashing you.
- She’s not necessarily protective of you but you’re probably protective of her. That being said, if you have a problem, she’ll probably get Regina to help you since Regina always seems to know what to do.
- The two of you never really fight; she just isn’t the type. When/If you do fight, it’s the bickering type of fighting where you just argue pointlessly. After that, she may give you the silent treatment and you; out of spite, will do the same.
- If you’re ignoring her, she’ll always seem to be watching you from afar with an expression akin to a kicked puppy. After some time, she’ll just plop down next to you, asking if you “can go back to dating now” and telling you that she’s sorry for what she said/did.
- She tells you she loves you constantly in all different kinds of ways, some earnest, some kidding, some said in excitement; like I said: all different kinds.
- All I can say is that the two of you have a bright future together.
#2000s movie headcanon#2000s movie headcanons#2000s movie imagine#early 2000s movie headcanon#Karen Smith imagine#Karen Smith headcanons#karen Smith headcanon#Karen Smith imagines#mean girls headcanon#mean girls imagines#mean girls headcanons#mean girls imagine
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How Stella Got Her Groove Back
by: mldrgrl
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Just a little something to celebrate spring...and Stella’s birthday!
They left Connecticut in September, with a fair amount of reluctance to go, but they needed to return to the city. Becca had already gone and though both Karen and Fish insisted they were welcome to stay longer, stay forever if they had to, at a certain point, Hank and Stella had just been missing their loft and their life in New York too much. Of course, they knew that what they were returning to was not the life they were accustomed to, but they would have to learn to adapt to the new normal.
Winter was long and brutal. They did spend two weeks over Christmas and New Years back in Connecticut again and that was the first time they’d seen Becca since July, and the last time they would see her until spring. Karen had tried to coerce them all to stay again and Hank and Stella nearly gave in. If not for the fact that Stella left a project behind she’d been working on for her classes and if Hank had brought the pages he’d been working on for his new novel, they just might have done it.
When they got back to New York, and in a cabin fever-induced moment of weakness, they hired a landscape architect to design their rooftop terrace and though the noise of construction aggravated the hell out of both of them, they were both pleased with the results. They now had an artificial lawn of soft green turf, an outdoor patio daybed in the shape of a cube with canvas shades on all four sides, a wet bar, strategically placed heating lamps, and a wood burning fire pit. Unbeknownst to them, when Fish had heard their plans, he’d called the company they hired, ordered them a charcoal grill, and told the contractor to keep it a surprise. They were very surprised by the barbeque that was suddenly part of the design, but it looked nice, even if it wouldn’t get any use.
Finding ways to fill the time with nowhere to go and no one to see was extremely difficult. Neither of them were very much into television or movies. The terrace, as welcome as it was, wasn’t finished until the end of February. Stella had the classes she was teaching and the child psychology classes she was enrolled in to keep her fairly busy during the days, but Hank could only write for so many hours at a time and he found that he actually missed helping Fish with the guitar lessons. He grumbled to Stella that ‘that damn Trout’ bewitched him somehow and then begrudgingly called him up and asked if he could still help out remotely. Fish was delighted by the request and sent him an iPad and a teaching schedule.
The close quarters had caused a few squabbles, though nothing major. They took a few online cooking classes together which produced some mediocre meals and a testy exchange on the appropriate amount that constituted a ‘pinch of salt.’ Beyond that, they managed not to take out any frustrations on each other.
It was April 1st when Stella wandered from the bathroom to the bedroom in her t-shirt and sweatpants, rubbing lotion into her hands and arms. Hank was in bed, perhaps naked, or perhaps wearing jockey shorts, she couldn’t be sure. He had his guitar across his lap and his head back so that he gazed at the ceiling while he plucked lightly at the strings.
“Hank,” she said, leaning into the foot of the bed with slightly bended knees.
“Do you think ‘oral’ actually rhymes with ‘clorital’ or is it cheating?” he replied.
“You know that next week is my birthday.”
Hank splayed his hand out on the guitar and looked at her. “Is this a trick question?”
“Not at all.”
“So, if I say ‘yes, of course, your birthday is April 7th and I already know I’m not to mention it to anyone,’ is that the wrong answer because I’m not supposed to acknowledge it in the first place?”
“I am aware that in the past I have requested that my birthday be treated as any other day.”
“Mmhm.”
“I’ve been thinking that perhaps...I might like to celebrate this year after all.”
“Oh, I get it. April fools. You could’ve just put plastic wrap on the toilet or secretly replaced my regular coffee with Folgers.”
“I’m serious.”
“Ah, so the one year it’s impossible to throw a party, you want to have a party?”
“God, no. Parties are awful.”
“Well, what then?”
“Brunch? With Becca? This weekend, or the next, perhaps. There are more places opening up now. We could-”
“Absolutely, Sherlock. Whatever the suggestion, I am all in.” He pushed his guitar aside and she was mildly disappointed to discover that he was in his jockey shorts after all and not naked. He scooted forward to the end of the bed and wrapped his arms around her hips.
“A walk in the park, maybe?”
“Not sure if my legs remember what walking is at this point, so it’ll be good to remind them.” He moved his hands down to the backs of her thighs and gave them a squeeze and then cupped her ass. “Why the sudden change of heart, Sherlock?”
“I’ve just been thinking lately that it’s perfectly acceptable to want to celebrate being alive. After the year we’ve had.”
“I agree, but as long as I get to have my breakfast in bed in bed that day, I’ll be happy.”
“It’s my birthday, I’m not bringing you breakfast in bed.”
“Oh, honey, you are the breakfast,” he growled, wrapping his arms around her again and pulling her into him as he fell back onto the bed.
*****
The Saturday before her birthday was Easter weekend. There was no rain in the forecast and Becca was available, so it was perfect. They took a Lyft to the upper west side and met her at a French bistro that had outdoor seating. Stella could tell right away that something was bothering Becca, that she was putting on a false front of cheerfulness, which was very unlike her, but if she did know her stepdaughter, she knew the girl could not keep up pretenses for long.
They ordered and waited for their food over bottomless mimosas and miniature ham and cheese croissants served as an appetizer. It wasn’t cold, but a cool breeze would drift by every so often and Stella was glad she had left her hair down so that her ears were covered. She wished she’d been a bit more practical though and worn pants. She’d just felt like dressing up and at the last minute, put on an olive-colored dress with small printed white flowers on it, but at least it was long-sleeved and she had a white sweater. Becca and Hank were like twins in their matching leather jackets and dark jeans.
“Are you working on anything?” Becca asked Hank.
“Almost finished,” he answered.
“Oh. What’s it about?”
“A couple that’s been married for fifteen years, but they’re on the brink of the divorce when the pandemic hits and then they go from spending almost no time together to all of their time together and it’s disastrous at first, but then they end up learning a lot about each other.”
“So, they save their marriage?”
“No, they end up getting divorced anyway.”
“That’s fucked up.”
“It’s fiction, sweetheart.”
“People like happy endings.”
“People are stupid. I didn’t say it didn’t have a happy ending though. Are you working on anything, Daughter?”
Becca sighed and picked at her nails. Stella put a hand on Hank’s knee under the table.
“Is something bothering you, Darling?” Stella asked.
“No. Yeah. No. I don’t wanna ruin your birthday or anything when it’s the first birthday we’ve ever celebrated together.”
Stella gave Becca a brief smile. “I don’t know if your father has told you why I’ve always been rather reluctant to celebrate my birthday.”
Becca shook her head. Hank stretched his arm out behind Stella’s chair and put his hand on her back. She gave his knee a squeeze of appreciation.
“My father passed away on my fourteenth birthday,” Stella said. “So, Darling, you have a high bar to overcome if you think being in a low mood will ruin my birthday.”
“That sucks about your dad, I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright.” Stella looked to Hank for a moment and then back to Becca. “I’ve spent many years trying to ignore the date as though if I didn’t acknowledge it, it’s like it had never happened. I don’t think I really understood until quite recently that one is capable of being sad and grateful at the same time. And that life should be celebrated. Especially now.”
“I guess I’m just...when we were up at Mom’s house, everything was so easy and nice and I had a really hard time writing. That’s why I wanted to leave. It was way too peaceful.”
“You know if I had a dollar for every time Becca claimed my shit was fucking her up, I’d be richer than that fucking Amazon guy, and now it sounds like she wants to file a grievance that we’re not fucking her up enough.”
“Am not.” Becca rolled her eyes.
“Don’t listen to him,” Stella said. “He’s been so mired with boredom lately he has regular calls with Fish.”
“No!”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Hank protested, putting his hands up in defense. “There was and will only be one bromance in my life and that’s with one Mr. Charles Runkle, that follically challenged motherfucker. No better pairing existed except for maybe Bert and Ernie, or Sid and Nancy.”
“I think we should let Becca continue with what she was trying to say.”
“Thank you.” Becca put her hand up as though she was blocking Hank from her view and he reached over and slapped her palm away. “As I was saying, I left because I thought the serenity was blocking me in some way, but since I’ve been back, it’s like the opposite. It felt so apocalyptic at first and desperate. It was like impossible to sit down and put words together when there were so many shitty things happening outside. What if...what if the next thing I finish, people will be like oh, she was just sitting inside writing while everyone else was dying?”
“There will always be shitty things happening outside,” Hank said.
“Great advice, Dad.”
“I don’t mean to bitchslap you with reality, but the world being shitty isn’t a reason to give up.”
“I’m not giving up.”
“Good, because you are way more fucking talented than I could ever even hope to be.”
“I just don’t know if it matters. If anyone should care.”
“Why should you concern yourself with that?”
Becca glared at Hank, clearly annoyed with the answer.
“I know you think I’m being facetious,” Hank said, quickly. “But, I’m not. If all anyone wanted to read was about things that ‘mattered’ that 50 Shades of Hot Garbage would never have sold a single copy. You don’t know why people read what you write. Maybe they want to escape the shitty things happening in the world. Maybe they want to laugh or cry or be turned on. Maybe they just need something to pass the time.”
“Five minutes ago you just said people were stupid for wanting happy endings, now you’re saying I should just give them garbage, if that’s what they want.”
“Yeah, I’m a fucking hypocrite, what else is new, but I just want you to be happy with what you’re doing. You want me to buy you a new laptop?”
“I’m not twelve anymore. You can’t just buy my happiness.”
“Worth a shot.”
“Becca,” Stella finally interjected. “I think it’s obvious by now that your father may possibly be the world’s worst motivational speaker.”
“Or the world’s best unmotivational speaker,” Hank said. “You see what I did there? I turned a negative into a positive.”
Both Stella and Becca ignored the comment.
“I think I may understand what he’s trying to say though,” Stella said. “I’m not a creator, but I’ve been a consumer. When I was reading for pleasure, I certainly wasn’t reaching for mystery novels. And I think that...popularity and quality are two different things. Certainly, one would hope for both, but it isn’t always the case. I know you and I know that quality is important to you, so perhaps you should only focus on if what you’re working on is the best that it can be and not on whether or not it matters.”
“Can I add something to that?” Hank asked.
“Not if you plan on fucking up everything Stella just said,” Becca answered.
“I’ve done at least a dozen online events this year and at every single one, someone has asked me when the next Rebecca Moody novel is going to be released or they want to know what you’re working on. I’m not even entirely sure all of them are there to hear my Q&A or if they just showed up because they know I’m your dad and they think you might make a guest appearance. And if one person takes umbrage with you for creating something during a time of utter hell, fuck them.”
“Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable,” Stella quoted.
“That sounds so much hotter when you say it than George Bernard Shaw,” Hank replied, rubbing his hand across Stella’s upper back.
“Okay, I don’t want to spend this day being miserable,” Becca said, shaking her head and shoulders like she was trying to rid herself of negativity. “Thank you, Stella.”
“You’re welcome, darling girl.”
“Hey, what about me?” Hank asked.
“There is this jacket I saw online that I want,” Becca answered, cheekily raising one of her eyebrows and tilting her head.
“I’ll text you my credit card number later.”
“Thank you, Father.”
*****
Brunch was followed by a stroll in Central Park and it seemed that at least half of the city had the same idea. It was interesting being in a place so crowded and yet also so open. The decent weather and the cherry blossoms in full bloom probably had something to do with it. What also would have felt strange a year ago, seeing everyone wearing face masks and wearing them as well, was oddly comforting. When Stella had put hers on that morning before they walked out the door, Hank told her she looked like a sexy brain surgeon or cardiologist, whichever one was smarter or made more money.
When they came upon Bethesda Fountain, there was a small band playing salsa music and a few couples dancing. Hank tried to imitate the steps and then grabbed Becca’s hand and spun her around under his arm. She laughed and tried to break free of him, but he pulled her back in and tried to get her to dance.
“Da-ad,” Becca protested.
“Dance with me, Daughter.”
“I don’t dance.”
“You’re no fun.” Hank let go of Becca’s hand and then grabbed Stella’s.
“Oh, no,” she said.
“Come on, Sherlock. I know you’ve probably got some moves I’ve never seen.”
“I assure you that’s not true,” she answered, letting him spin her away though and then laughed as he gyrated his hips dramatically as he stepped back towards her. “Whatever it is that you’re doing does not resemble the salsa in any way.”
“Let me see you do better.”
Stella looked past Hank to the other dancers and mimicked the forward and back steps. She put a hand on Hank’s chest to keep him at arm’s length and prevent their knees from colliding as he tried to fall into the same step with her, moving forward when she stepped back, and back when she stepped forward. What he lacked in grace, he made up for with enthusiasm. As soon as they fell into sync, he grabbed her hand and lifted her other arm in a more formal dance frame like the other dancers had.
What followed was probably the worst and most amateurish version of a salsa that had ever been danced, but Stella laughed so hard it brought tears to her eyes. When the music ended, Hank stopped and pulled Stella’s face mask down under her chin before lowering his own and then kissing her through both of their laughter.
The dancing couples broke apart and drifted back into the crowd. Becca went over and dropped some money into the cup on the ground in front of the band and thanked them for playing. Stella took Hank’s hand and then Becca linked her arm with Stella’s as they continued on.
Later that night, when Stella came out of the bathroom as she rubbed lotion into her hands and arms, she stopped at the foot of the bed and watched Hank read over the latest pages of his novel. When she was finished, she climbed onto the bed and walked over to Hank on her knees until she was straddling his lap. He threw his pages down, took his reading glasses off, and pulled her close with his hands on her ass.
“Thank you,” Stella said, as Hank kissed the side of her neck.
“For what?”
“This truly was the best birthday I’ve ever had.”
“Your birthday’s not until Wednesday.”
“Perhaps next year we’ll even be able to invite Karen and Fish to town.”
“We’ll make The Trout christen that barbeque he forced on us.”
“It does look nice though.”
“It really does. You want your present now, or should I wait until Wednesday?”
“I might be interested in a preview,” she said, sliding her hand down his chest and then into his shorts. “A little peak at the package ahead of time.”
“You just assumed I was talking about fucking when I said I had something for you?”
“Weren’t you?”
Hank paused and then grinned. “Yeah, I was.”
The End
#i wrote this#hanella#hank/stella#californication#thefall#The adventures of the lady detective and the writer lives on
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Ummm hiya.. if I may be so bold can I request Charles Smith x f reader nsfw them doing the deed at Sean’s party behind on of the wagons
I’m sorry if it’s weird🥲
Not weird at all! This is my first time writing Charles, though, so let me know if this isn’t what you’re looking for and I will rewrite it!
Just Be Quiet (Charles x f! reader)
Word Count: 1680
Warnings: 18+, smut
ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29786193
Sean was finally back and you couldn’t be happier. After Blackwater, you had thought he had been a goner for sure. People in the gang had started to speak of Sean like he had passed, which made Karen flip out. You had spent many a late night comforting her, telling her that you were sure he was out there somewhere. It stung a little to tell her what you assumed to be a lie.
But the Irish Terrier was back and better than ever, cracking jokes, drinking, and trying his best to seduce Karen. Dutch had authorized the gang to throw a little party for him and you were more than glad to participate. Any celebration in these hard times of being hunted by the law was welcomed.
The party went on for several hours and involved lots of singing and drinking. You spent most of the party looking on from one of far sides of camp, keeping Sadie and Abigail company. You had always felt close to Abigail and since Sadie had joined the gang, you’d taken a shine to her too. Therefore, out of a sense of loyalty, you stood by their side instead of going off the rails like the other members of the gang. You couldn’t say that you hadn’t had a drink or two, though. You were glad that everyone was having a break from the stress of life and didn’t mind watching everyone enjoy their night. Besides, it was a little funny to watch your drunken friends sing a chorus or pretend they were Parisian ladies.
It was around midnight when Charles approached you and asked you to dance. You were over the moon, of course you wanted to dance with him, but you checked with Sadie to make sure it was alright first. Abigail had ran off to yell at John about something and if you left, Sadie would be all alone. Sadie gave you a small smile and assured you it was alright, you should enjoy your night. You and Sadie parted ways, her going to bed, and you being led by Charles to the wagon next to Abigail and Jack’s tent. It was close enough to the campfire to hear the gang singing out of tunes and laughing, but far enough away that no one was actually in your line of sight or could hear what you were saying if you talked softly.
Upon arriving at your destination, you immediately pulled Charles into a big bear hug. He was much stronger than you and could have pulled you off him if he wanted to, but instead he caressed your hair and told you that he had missed you. You looked into his eyes and knew that he was sorry about the last couple of weeks. Nothing bad had happened between you two, but everything had been so busy since Colter that you two had barely exchanged words. It had crushed you, but you understood. Charles had orders from Dutch constantly. Ever since the loss of Davey and supposedly Mac, a lot more things fell on Charles’s shoulders.
None of that mattered anymore, though. Right here, right now, you were in his arms and that’s what you really cared about. You felt like you were going to cry of happiness when he told you he loved you and proceeded to cup your face in his big hands and kiss you gently. This was Heaven on Earth.
You were a bit clunky at dancing and so was Charles, truth be told. But it was still lovely, Charles twirling you around and softly singing to you. The moment felt so intimate, your hands on Charle’s shoulders and the two of you looking into each other’s eyes. You never wanted the moment to end.
“Come here, my dove. You look so beautiful tonight.” you blushed at the compliment and hugged him again like he wanted you to. How could you resist being in the arms of your big, strong man?
The moment, which was meant to be wholesome, took a turn when you pressed a little too close to him and felt that he was hard. You became acutely aware of just how long it has been since the two of you had been with each other. And now you were thinking about it, you couldn’t think about anything else.
“I’m sorry, love. Didn’t mean to ruin our moment.” Charles, knowing that you had noticed, told you apologetically.
“No I- I want it.” you looked up at him, cheeks flushed.
Charles was taken aback. “Soon. Once we can get out of here, maybe we can get a room at the hotel tomorrow.” But even as he said this, his eyes were glazing over in lust.
“Why not here? Nobody’s looking.” you practically begged him.
Charles hesitated, he was rather shy and didn’t want to get caught. But when you began palming him through his pants, it became too much for him.
“Okay, just try to be quiet. I love your moans but I really don’t want anyone to hear.” he warned as he lowered his pants, not completely taking them off in case he quickly needed to pull them back on.
You weren’t as worried so you let your skirt drop onto the grass and pulled off your bloomers quickly. You weren’t worried about too much foreplay tonight, just wanted it quick and fast. There’d be plenty of time for everything else another day.
Charles whistled at you when you turned around to face him, naked from the waist down. “That’s my girl.” The words never failed to make you go red in the face.
Charles turned you around and lifted your right leg onto the wagon wheel. You could feel his hot, heavy breath on his neck behind you and wanted nothing more than you to fuck you mercilessly, but Charles wasn’t that kind of man. He always prepped you beforehand no matter how horny he was. It made you more desperate and needy in the moment, but in the long run, you were more than grateful for it. Charles was very large and thick and fucking you unprepped would surely hurt.
You looked back at Charles as he stuck two of fingers in his mouth to coat them before pushing his digits into you, slowly at first, but in a faster rhythm as he began to open you up. You moaned softly, trying to remember to keep it down, and took his dick in your hand. You began to move your hand back and forth, attempting to keep the same rhythm that he was using to finger you. You couldn’t help but keep your head turned to him, you loved to watch his face in concentration when he was pleasuring you.
After a few minutes of you pressing back on him and fucking yourself on your fingers, you had absolutely soaked his fingers. He praised you quietly, telling you how good you were doing, before pulling his fingers out of you and positioning himself behind you.
“Fuck, please, Charles.” you would have gladly begged more but Charles didn’t have it in him to tease you tonight. He kissed your neck as he pushed himself into.
You groaned at the sheer size of him. Even having prepped you, it still took a moment for you to adjust to him. Never one to be lost on how to make you feel good during the whole experience, Charles rubbed your clit and whispered in your ear about how good you were for him. God, your brain was going fuzzy already.
Soon enough, you became used to his size and gave him the go ahead to begin thrusting into you. You didn’t have to tell him twice. He repeated his method he had done before with his fingers, thrusting slow at first but faster as you became needier. You couldn’t look back at him anymore, you couldn’t take it. You threw your head back and enjoyed the moment. You were moaning a little louder than you should have, but Charles seemed to have forgotten that he had instructed you to stay quiet because he didn’t stop you. In fact, the man was letting out grunts louder than he probably should have, too. He grabbed your waist roughly and began pounding into you, faster than he normally did. He liked to take his time with you when he could, but it had been a couple of weeks and you both needed this so bad. It felt so good already, you thought that maybe you could come from just this, but when you thrusted into you in just the right spot, you knew you’d be in for soon enough. It didn’t take long before Charles, reduced to various primal grunts, began rubbing your clit again, faster than he had before. You knew he must be close and Charles, being the considerate partner he was, always wanted you to come first. You focused on him pounding into you and the feeling, trying to give him what he wanted. Before the feeling in your core became too much, though, Charles thrust into you a final time, finishing deep inside of you. Feeling this was the final straw and you orgasmed hard on his dick, whimpering his name as softly as you could manage (which actually wasn’t all that soft). He helped you ride out your orgasm before pulling out of you, leaving you feeling empty.
He gave you a deep, romantic kiss as you were trying to put your skirt back on. He offered for the two of you to go take a walk but you laughed and took a raincheck on that one, informing him that you’d better go to bed seeing as you probably wouldn’t be able to walk all that well for the rest of the night.
“I do wish we could properly spend the night together, though. Ending the night going our separate ways isn’t exactly the way I like things to go.” You told him, a little sadness seeping through your voice.
“One day.” he promised.
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I’ve been a mutual for years. I ignore fandom discord. Your blog usually supports everyone. You’re header is “coexist”. So why the heck did you reblog that call to action against the CW and basically all thing SPN? That’s kinda disgusting. Just because a ship didn’t sail is no reason to trash an entire network. Smh. I thought you were better than that petty trash. Cancel culture is going too far.
It’s true, I normally don’t get into cancel culture and fandom drama. To be completely transparent, of all the acts that the post in question proposes, the only one I’ve done is unfollow the CW_SPN Twitter account. I haven’t tweeted using the new hashtag or replied with my own words on this subject anywhere. I mean, I wasn’t planning on watching SPN on Netflix anytime soon, anyway. Reblogging that post was LITERALLY the least I could do, and that’s about all I’ve done.
I want to make clear, though, that my actions are not “because a ship didn’t sail.” First, I had no cargo on that ship. Second, whether you like it or not, it actually did sail when Cas told Dean he loved him.
My plan, up until last night, was to distill in my own mind my own issues with the last two episodes, and then rewrite them in a way that was more satisfying to me, using the corporate CW/Covid constraints that I’m aware of. That would be my response. There would not be an, “I love you, too,” from Dean, because I didn’t think the network would EVER allow that. In my mind, the most Destiel fans would ever be allowed would be a hug and Dean telling Cas he was stupid to assume he knew what Dean felt. At best, the writers and the network would want to keep things open-ended, to satisfy those who really don’t want Dean to be anything but straight as an arrow.
To be completely clear, I have never expected Destiel to become canon. I have never wanted or prayed or begged or even just thought, “Hey, that’d be cool.” I fully expected Destiel to remain in subtext and fanon. The fact that it did become canon when Cas professed his love to Dean made me nearly fall out of my chair. I mean, I was happy about it, don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t screaming and jumping up and down happy, but I was like, “Yeah. Good for them!”
I was happy that those of my friends in the fandom who are queer finally felt represented by a MAIN character that they loved, yet sad that the character had to die without hearing that he, too, was loved. It was a bittersweet blow.
People asked me what I thought of it, and I said, “I’m waiting to see what they do with the last two episodes.” In my mind, Cas’s confession followed by sacrificing himself DEMANDED an answer of some kind. It didn’t have to be a matching confession from Dean. But Dean needed to respond in some way, shape, or form.
And the final two episodes happened, and NOTHING.
I said before that a major theme of season 15 was Dean’s anger. Dean, himself - Mr. I-don’t-talk-about-my-feelings-no-matter-what - TALKED about his anger and how he didn’t know what to do about it. To me, Cas’s confession was supposed to trigger Dean to DO something about his anger, and then lead him into DOING something based on love. To me, it didn’t have to be loving Cas, either. It could be discovering that pushing people away was bad, and finally inviting hunters into the bunker to share knowledge. Inviting other people into his heart and loving them because of Cas’s love, the same way Cas learned to love the world because of Dean’s love. (That was pretty much going to be the crux of my rewrite.) I even said in one post here, “It all seems to be adding up to them defeating Chuck with the power of love, and I really don’t know how that will look.”
But the final two episodes didn’t even show Dean really grieving? I don’t get it.
I digress.
I was upset, but understanding about not getting to see Dean tell Cas he loved him. It was never an expectation for me. No one, from the network to the writers on down to the actors, I thought, would ever green light that script.
BUT THEY DID.
AND THEN THEY TOOK IT BACK.
That’s the line for me. The fact that every step along the line agreed to make Dean queer in canon (even if it was just a matter of, “Cas is the exception to the rule,”) - the fact that it HAPPENED is phenomenal. And maybe I should be happy that it was even considered seriously enough to have made it to an almost-final script. But I’m really upset that it got through all of that vetting, and at the very last minute, when the people in the show we love had no way of fighting it, it got pulled.
It’s almost like the CW pulled a bait-and-switch on Dabb, Bobo, Misha, and Jensen (along with everyone else who would have had skin in the game). As if they went along with it just to make them happy, and then pulled the rug out from under them. It’s the CW as Lucy pulling the football from Charlie Brown after he’s started his kick.
This is what pissed me off and made me reblog that post. I want to support those of my friends who are hurting because of this, right now. My queer friends who feel betrayed by a network that claims to be so open to diversity and supportive of ALL people. I’m a cishet, white, upper-middle-class disabled housewife. Cut my hair short and dye it blonde and I could very easily be a Karen. I have no skin in this game. But I love people who do. And if they want to organize protests and boycotts, then I want to support them.
I’m not cancelling the CW. I’ll watch Walker because of Jared. Even if it turns out that the theories are right, that Walker is the reason the CW made this decision, I’ll still watch. I love Jared, and want to support him.
But I do want to do something to support those who disagree with this and want to do something about it. Because it was wrong. The CW done fucked up, but they will never change if we don’t tell them. Unfollowing their SM accounts, getting a hashtag trending, and other actions like this, are ways to get that message across. Maybe, if we can make a big enough impact, they will change.
This isn’t cancel culture. This is finding a way to send a message to the CW that they made a mistake.
If your hate of a ship keeps you from seeing that, I feel sorry for you.
#meta#s15#spoilers#destiel#theysilencedyou#they silenced you#theysilencedthem#they silenced them#rancidnutwork#Anonymoose?#michelle answers
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September 23, 2021…tomorrow I leave my family for 3 weeks, to care for my parents back home. I’m nervous, scared, excited, sad, relieved, and so many other emotions that I cannot begin to name off because my mind is a jumbled mess. I’m looking forward to finally seeing my parents after a little over two years, but so heartbroken to leave my children and husband behind. I do have a sense of relief that now I’ll finally be able to take care of the issues regarding my parents’ needs.
I take off from Orlando in the early afternoon, to arrive in Toronto a few hours later, only to wait for 3+ hrs before my flight to Montreal. My sister-in-law will be coming to the airport to pick me up, then we’ll be heading over to the hotel where my parents have been holed up for over 4 and a half months. My parents don’t know I’ll be arriving tomorrow, but the caregiver is aware. She’ll be waiting for my call to say that I’ve arrived and that I’m on the way. In fact, I’ll be the one caring for my parents the first weekend that I arrive. My father is the one who needs the most help, hopefully he’ll be ok with me cleaning him up when he needs it. This will be interesting! Maybe he won’t recognize me and think that I’m another caregiver. I’m laughing at the thought, but it’s painful to think he won’t remember me. We’ll soon find out. Tomorrow this time I’ll be at the hotel with my parents.
In fact, tomorrow almost didn’t happen. I received a call today from my son’s middle school and as soon as I saw that name pop up on my phone at 1:15pm, I knew it wasn’t going to be a good call. When I answered the phone I waited a few seconds, hoping that maybe it was one of those automated calls from the principal. After a few seconds when I didn’t hear that automated voice come on, I knew something was wrong, so I said “hello?”, to which the school nurse proceeded to tell me her name and that she was calling about my son. I’m sure my response, “oh no, this is not good”, confused her a little bit, which I sensed from her hesitation to continue on. I said that for a few reasons; 1 - she’d only be calling me if something bad happened, 2 - I was leaving for Canada the next day, this seriously cannot be happening, and 3 - what if he has Covid?? I would have to reschedule my trip. I think other things popped in my mind, but right now I can’t remember what they were. She then said he was not feeling well; sore throat, chills, headache, but no fever. I told her I’d be there within 10 minutes. When I got to the school he looked ill, with those glassy eyes and sad face, trying to pull his arms into his shirt because he was getting chilly. I carried his bag and we headed to the car. He told me that he was sorry to put pressure on me because he knew that I had to leave tomorrow. I told him that I believed everything happened for a reason and maybe it wasn’t meant for me to go. My first thought was having to reschedule my trip, because if he had Covid I didn’t want to bring it home to my parents. Then I thought that I would need to get him tested, just to be sure. If he was positive, then I would reschedule the trip. If he was negative, then I would continue as planned. Stupid me, I thought that picking up a Covid Home testing kit would be easy. Just go to the closest pharmacy. Little did I know that these testing kits were like hot cakes and everybody wanted them! There were no Covid testing kits to be found…anywhere!!! My very good friend Bri helped me find one of the last remaining kits in town, after she searched and searched and searched, even going to the closest Walmart by her place to pick up a kit which was supposedly in stock. Only to find out that she missed the last kit by a few minutes! She drove with me to the only pharmacy in town with a kit. You know, that’s a real friend. You find out who your real friends are when they inconvenience themselves to help you, but they truly don’t think they are going out of their way. They are helping you because they genuinely care, when anyone else would be telling you, “good luck finding a kit”, instead she said, “let me get dressed and go to my Walmart that says they have them in stock. I’ll pick it up for you then meet you.” I mean, seriously?!?! Then she drove across town with me to get that last remaining kit, which she found after calling several pharmacies in town, and then begging them to hold it for her. I’ll never forget her kindness. I’m sure she had other things to do than to spend hours searching for a rapid Covid testing kit for my son. What was really beautiful, was that she never made it seem like a hassle. She made it seem that she actually enjoyed helping me. I cherish this girl! (Btw, my son was negative, thankfully!!)
Speaking of kindness, when I texted my cousins back home to tell them that I was coming, they offered me their homes to stay in, they offered me cars to drive, they offered me support in any way that I needed it. My one cousin offered me his daughter’s car, only with her permission of course. I told him that I didn’t mind driving his Maserati, just in case she didn’t want me to drive her Mini Cooper. I still haven’t heard back from him regarding this…. Walter? Hello?? My cousin Nadia was there for me that weekend when I decided to resign, because I needed to talk to someone about my decision to leave my career to care for my parents. She understood my pain. She too worked very hard for her career. She listened, offered her advice and helped me decide that the right thing to do would be to follow my heart. My heart wanted to be there for my parents. If I didn’t follow my heart, my conscience would never be clear and I would be useless to my family. I’ll never forget my cousin Alain and how he took care of my parents needs the day after the fire. He went to the house and dealt with the insurance people and helped my parents navigate the first few days of this terrible event. He was my savior, and theirs too. These kindnesses will never be forgotten.
My best friends back home Tina and Karen, offering me clothing, food, a place to stay. Even offering me their time when painting, decluttering and whatever else I’ll need to get done at the house. I cannot do anything without their support…without all of my friends and families support. My sister-in-law Anna will be there for me when I first arrive and each and every day that I am there. She lives just down the street from my parents place and has often been the one that my mom has called when they needed help. I cannot repay any of these people for their goodness, kindness, love and support. I can only hope that someday I am able to provide them with the same.
Here at home, one of my best friend’s has changed her whole schedule at work to accommodate taking care of my son every morning while I’m away. She rearranged her life for mine. She has literally become the family that I don’t have that lives just down the street. You know what I mean, that family member that lives close by that cares for your kids because you don’t have anyone else?? She literally rearranged her entire life to help me. I cannot thank Lisa and her son CJ enough for caring for my son like he is their family. She spoils him like she does her own sons. I told her to back off a little, because I didn’t want my son to like her more than her likes me. She laughed and said that wasn’t possible, because all my son did was talk about me. He better, good boy!
Speaking of family, tomorrow morning our friends, who we call family and in fact made them godparents to our son, will be driving me to the airport. I feel bad for Pat and Kelly, because they’ll be hearing me cry as we drive away after I say goodbye to my husband and children. I know those painful cries won’t be easy to handle. They’ll be seeing me off at the airport, which I know won’t be easy, because this will mean that I’m really leaving.
Honestly though, I really couldn’t do any of this without my family’s support, especially my husband. If he didn’t have my back, supporting my decision, and taking on most of the responsibilities with me gone for three weeks, then none of this would be possible. He has supported me financially, emotionally and spiritually. Without him I couldn’t do this. Without my children helping me by not begging me to stay, I am able to go. They have cried, they have told me they didn’t want me to go, but they haven’t forced me in a corner where the guilt of their pain would make me stay. I couldn’t do it without their support. My daughter stepping up to the plate by being me for the next three weeks, picking up my son from school, making sure he gets fed and taken to his activities.
Part of me thinks that I’m being such a big baby about this. I should just shut my mouth, stop the crying and just face this head on without fear. I want to, I really do. I feel ashamed that I can’t handle this with the grace and dignity that I know most people in my position would have. I try to have the courage and strength that I need to go forward, but the fear of the unknown has me scared. I’m afraid of leaving my family, what if something happens. It won’t be easy for me to come back home. I have to get a flight. I have to get Covid tested, which takes a day or two. I can’t just jump on a plane and come back. I’m scared I won’t be here if I’m needed. I try to get those things out of my head. I try to have relief knowing that I cannot control things out of my control, I have to let whatever may be just be. Then go from there. I know that this needs to be done and now I’ll finally be doing what I set out to do when I resigned from my career. This is the decision I made, now I will continue on with this journey.
Onward and upward!
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Push and Pull (Part 16) (continued on)
Pairing: Matt Murdock x OC
A/N: continued from last post.
Warnings: cursing
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"We should do this again sometime," Karen said eagerly. Her cheeks flushed red at her words and she glanced at Foggy like he was going to say no to another date. But Foggy had a dopey grin on his face that he couldn't even hide. She didn't want to say anything about how her and Matt weren't really dating. That was something they'd figure out another time. Foggy could tell her it hadn't worked out and that was that. But they could still all hang out. Foggy and Karen as a couple with her and Matt as 'not really friends but sometimes okay with each other'.
Karen moved to give her a hug and she accepted it with a smile.
"Make sure you keep in touch," Karen murmured to her.
"I will," she said softly. She meant it too. It was such a change of pace to hang out with a girl. It also made her miss her sister. They hadn't spoken in months. That's what always happened. They would connect for a period of time and then go months with nothing. The last time they saw each other was when her niece was born 7 months ago. Karen gave Matt a quick hug and whispered something to him. It made him chuckle awkwardly, whispering something back and glance in her direction. She was curious what that was about.
"Alright, you two," Foggy beamed, pulling them both into a hug at the same time. He squeezed the shit out of her and Matt laughed as he patted his back.
"My cake," she squeaked. He mumbled an apology and let go only a little.
"I love you guys. I can't thank you enough for this," he whispered quickly. She smirked into the hug and finally breathed when he let go. Her cake box was a little smushed and she made a pitiful noise.
"I'll fix it!" Foggy winced grabbing it from her and popping out the dents.
"Are you guys going to be doing anything interesting tonight?" Karen asked, genuinely curious. Daphne decided to have a little fun since the night was over. Mainly knowing how Foggy would react.
"Honestly, probably go back to Matt's, eat some cake and have sex. Or maybe the cake could partake in the sex," she mused, deadly serious face. Foggy swore, the cake box falling to the floor and the cake fell out with a splat. She whined comically, too distressed to see Karen's amused flushed face at her comment or Matt’s jaw slack.
"Wh- my cake," she whispered. Foggy looked at her with wide eyes before he smiled sheepishly.
"Uhhh… I think maybe the cake sex will have to take a rain check," he uttered, face still beet red. Daphne stared at the pile of what was once a delicious looking cake with sad eyes. She wasn't really going to Matt’s and that cake was all she was looking forward to.
"It's fine, I'll get another piece," Matt said softly. She shot him a glance and he gave her a small smile. Could he sense how genuinely sad she was? Was he taking pity on her?
"Wow, you really want that cake sex," Foggy muttered. Matt thwacked him on the back of the head and Foggy cried out.
"Good aim!" Karen giggled, making Foggy shoot her a betrayed look.
Matt grabbed Foggy's arm and the pair went inside.
"You're really gonna have sex on the first date? Karen asked quietly. She was grinning and it looked like she was enjoying the little gossipy girl talk. Daphne considered what to say. Now she'd gotten to know her a little and actually liked her, she did feel bad about all the lies. Maybe a little truth sprinkled in wouldn't hurt.
"I'll be honest… we've already kinda done it… twice," Daphne replied. The delighted giggle from her new friend made her smile with pink cheeks.
"Oh my god, how did that happen?" She asked eagerly.
"There was a lot of tension. It just… I don't know, built up until it happened," she snorted. She didn't know how to explain it without revealing too much.
"Wow… was it good?" She whispered cheekily. Daphne laughed as she flushed harder, covering her cheeks.
"Oh my god," she murmured into her hands. She shouldn't have said anything. When was she ever embarrassed to talk about sex? Maybe it was the fact Karen was friends with Matt or the fact she hadn't had girl talk in too long.
"It was, wasn't it?" Karen giggled. Daphne moved her hands, well aware of how red she was as she smiled.
"It really was," she snorted. She wouldn't deny it. The man annoyed the shit out of her but the sex was mind blowing. Karen laughed as she looked at her, biting her lip.
"Do you think I should… with Foggy?" She whispered shyly to her.
"Do you want to?" Daphne asked curiously. Karen tucked some of her hair behind her ear and smiled.
"I do. It's just weird, you know? Because we're friends and I'm used to that. But there's always been something there. But now it's out in the open… it's like I don't know what to do," she said softly.
"Just do what feels right. When you get home if you feel like you want to then just do it. If you feel like tonight's not the night then that's fine too. Don't rush it. Just take your time and let it happen on its own," her advice was sincere. Despite wanting to see how far she could plant ideas in their heads, she really liked the pair of them. She could see they'd make a great couple and she wanted them to work out.
Karen gave her a quick hug before pulling away with a warm smile.
"Thank you. It's honestly really nice to have a girl friend I can talk to," she said.
"Same," Daphne snorted. The doors opened then and the boys walked out. Matt was holding Foggy's arm in one hand, the cane in the other and Foggy had the box of cake.
"There you go, miss. One perfectly intact fudge cake. All set for the crazy sexcapades you're gonna have," he beamed, handing over the box. Karen slapped his arm with a chiding look and he gave her face as if to say 'what?'.
"Alright, we're off. Have fun guys," Daphne smiled. The pair smiled back at her.
"See you guys tomorrow," Matt said softly as he took Daphne's arm. Foggy and Karen started to walk away.
"Don't have too much fun!" Foggy called out to them with a laugh. She shook her head ruefully with a sigh as she watched them walk away. Now it was just the two of them and it suddenly felt awkward again.
"Cake sex? Really?" Matt asked after a moment. He looked more than amused and she snorted, poking him in the chest.
"I wanted to see if they took the bait," she grinned mischievously.
"Did they?" He asked curiously.
"I guess we'll see," she shrugged.
"Really?" He drawled. He quirked a brow and she snorted as she realised her words.
"Alright, I guess I'll see," she laughed. He chuckled and gave her a mock dirty look.
"That's just mean," he huffed, holding a hand over his heart.
"Wait? You have feelings?" She gasped. He looked shocked for a moment before he snorted, swiping her prized box out of her hands and holding it above his head.
"My caaaake!" She whined, reaching up to get it but even in her heels she couldn't reach.
"Say sorry," he smirked down at her.
"Sorry," she huffed, sounded every bit like the petulant child she was.
"I don't think you mean that," he whispered devilishly.
"I will take your cane and beat you with it," she somehow managed to growl and pout at the same time. That was new. Matt barked a laugh but handed her the cake anyway.
"I'd like to see you try," he teased.
"You're so getting your ass kicked next time we train," she muttered in contempt. She clung to the box like it was about to float away.
"Is that what they're calling it these days?" He smirked. She pursed her lips but couldn't stop the smile that formed on her lips. He could be a cheeky little fucker when he wanted to be but she liked this playful side to him.
"I'll walk you home, come on," he smiled after a moment. They'd both still been standing outside the restaurant, not really knowing what to do. His hand went to her arm, holding it lightly as they walked at a leisurely pace. She was grateful. The heels and alcohol wouldn't be good for walking at a brisk pace.
"I really think Karen and Foggy are gonna work out," she mused after being silent for a while. It was chilly but not too cold and the stars were twinkling in the sky. It was actually pretty nice.
"You think so?" He asked carefully.
"Yeah. I mean she really likes him. And he's smitten with her. I think once they get over the weirdness they'll be good together," she murmured. She felt that pang of envy again and she hated it. She didn't want to feel that way. It wasn't like she wasn't happy for them. She was rooting for them.
She didn't often feel lonely but it would happen every so often and with the tequila in her blood, it seemed to be one of those times.
"Why does that bother you?" Matt asked quietly, glancing in her direction. She whipped her head to look at him before she shook her head.
"It doesn't," she said defensively. He was silent for a moment and she thought he'd dropped it.
"Twice tonight, your heartbeat’s changed because of Karen and Foggy," he said quietly after a moment.
"You know how weird that is? Stop listening to my heartbeat," she grumbled. He smiled sadly as he looked away.
The silence bothered her and the awkwardness seemed to have ramped up a notch.
"It doesn't bother me. It's just… sometimes I get lonely. I'm not necessarily… normal. I don't connect with people easily. Sometimes I wish I could. To know what it feels like," she whispered after a moment. Why she kept revealing her most vulnerable spots to him of all people, she didn't know. He nodded, gazing out at nothing as he took a deep breath.
"I'm sure you'll find it one day," he mumbled, keeping his blank gaze in front of them. She smiled her own sad smile then. She knew it wouldn't happen. But she didn't want to talk about it any more. They stayed silent until they reached her apartment building and she moved away, his hand slipping from her arm.
"You don't need to walk me up. I'll be fine," she said softly, still clutching her cake box. He nodded, gripping his cane in his hands as he stood there.
"I'll see you round then," he nodded at her. It all felt so stilted and weird. She had no idea how they could cycle through so many different states when they were together.
She glanced at him for a moment longer before turning on her heel, walking up the few steps to the steps to the door and yanked it open.
"Daphne," he called out. She looked over her shoulder and saw him standing there.
"I really do like the dress," he smirked a little. She snorted, shaking her head as she bit her lip.
"I really do like your eyes," she retorted, a faint blush to her cheeks. She told herself it was the booze. He smiled, lowering his head looking almost bashful. With that she slipped inside and made her way to her apartment. Once she got in she kicked her evil heels off and breathed a sigh of relief. She padded over to her kitchen, grabbing a spoon from the drawer before she flopped onto the couch.
She ate the cake, which was the best cake ever and well worth all the hassle it had been to get it. As she enjoyed it she thought over the rollercoaster that had been the night. The dread of the impending Court case was still lingering in the back of her mind but she chose to focus on the fun she’d had. She really hadn't expected that at all. The night had its downfalls but she didn't regret going. And she really was rooting for Foggy and Karen.
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If you're still doing the character thing: Anne Bonny, Azula, Karen Jackson
Anne Bonny:
My three favorite things about them:
Her loyalty. When Anne loves, she loves HARD. And you see that in her relationships with Jack and Max.
Her lack of ambition. While I LOVE ambition as a character trait (especially in female characters) Anne's lack of ambition is kind of refreshing in a show like Black Sails where almost all of the other characters are after something. At the end of the day Anne doesn't really care about treasure or power. She just cares about the people in her circle and supports them in their goals. (Those characters, again, mainly being Jack and Max.)
The way she's allowed to be dirty and say crude things. It's the trope of the grumpy warrior who is only soft for the people they care for....but in a female character. We really don't get female characters like Anne too often.
My three least favorite things about them:
I don't really like that the fact that she was the one who got Max captured by Vane in S1 was brushed over so fast. Yes she was the only person in Vane's crew that stood up for Max and she helped Eleanor free Max and murder her rapists, but she was part of the reason Max ended up there to begin with. Other than a brief comment about it from Max in S1, it wasn't even really acknowledged. Meanwhile the show allowed Anne to be angry at Max for betraying her and Jack for almost an entire season.
The fact that she killed poor Charlotte
????? I don't think I have anything else
My three favorite dynamics with them in it (romantic or platonic):
Anne/Max: Obviously! I love these two and their love story really spoke to me. I wish they had gotten a more explicit resolution :(
Anne/Jack: Another obvious choice. I think their relationship is a bit more unhealthy than some people like to admit (mostly the way she was an abuse and rape survivor and spent years feeling indebted to him because he saved her) but they are ride or die.
????? Anne didn't really have a lot of prominent relationships outside of Max and Jack. I do think her dynamic with Idelle was kind of compelling and I wish we had seen more of it. But I don't think it would have ever been a proper friendship since Idelle (rightfully) doesn't like Anne because she killed her friend.
My three favorite moments of theirs:
"I can't be your wife, Jack." I was just so proud of her
The scene where she opens up to Max about the abuse she suffered from her ex husband. It was so sad but very revealing :(
When she killed Max's rapists
Azula:
My three favorite things about them:
Her competence. I loved the fact that she was a villain that should be feared and she was not easily beaten. The other characters were always painfully aware of how easily she could win. And sometimes she did (ex: Ba Sing Se).
Her complexity, even though it makes me cry. Yes she was a great villain but she was also an abused teenage girl and a large part of her wants a sense of normalcy. We see that part really shine through in "The Beach" specifically :(
Her lines and dialogue. She truly has some of the most chilling (and iconic) lines on the show.
My three least favorite things about them:
The fandom discourse surrounding her. I feel like with Azula people are often either of two ways about her: They think she's an irredeemable monster or they think the way she ended up was everyone's fault but her own and use the fact that she was abused to excuse her of everything. I have a more middle opinion of her. I think she is deserving of sympathy and a shot at redemption since she was an abused child. BUT in doing so she would need to address the hurt she caused to people. (And yes Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee would all be on that list of people). She's a complicated character that deserves nuanced takes on her. Other than that though I don't think I have any issues with her.
My three favorite dynamics with them in it (romantic or platonic):
Azula/Zuko: Ugh this is one of the most interesting but tragic relationships on the whole show 😔
Azula/Mai/Ty Lee: Yes it ended in flames and was problematic but a trio of villainous girls kicking ass???? How could I not love that????
Azula/Ursa: I'm into this dynamic more for the potential? I so wish we had gotten to see more of it (that's not the comics lmao) because it could be so interesting and angsty. Idk. I think about Azula and her deeply complicated relationship with her mother a lot.
My three favorite moments of theirs:
"My own mother....thought I was a monster. She was right of course but it still hurt." And just every moment in "The Beach" tbh. Such a good Azula episode.
"Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player." ICONIC
Her breakdown when she hallucinated Ursa in the series finale. So intense and heartbreaking.
Karen Jackson:
My three favorite things about them:
Her love for Sheila. It was the first thing that drew me to her character in S1.
She's pretty funny a lot of the time. Idk. I just know that a good amount of the iconic scenes from the early seasons involved her.
Her strive to want to be successful. The scene where she asks Frank to come to her parent-teacher conference always breaks my heart because she wanted someone to be proud of her. It makes the way they wrote her character off even more infuriating to me.
My three least favorite things about them:
The fact that she raped Frank
Her ableism towards her baby. (To be clear I firmly believe that Karen had every right to not want to keep the baby. I just wasn't a fan of some of her comments.)
The way she was written off. Especially knowing it likely happened because Laura Slade Wiggins didn't want to do nude scenes anymore 😕
My three favorite dynamics with them in it (romantic or platonic):
Karen/Sheila: The relationship definitely wasn't the best at points (Sheila fucking the grown ass man that slept with her underaged daughter????) but I loved the fact that the show had a complex relationship between a mother and a daughter at one point. I miss them.
Karen/Lip: I don't ship them but their dynamic in S1 at least was honestly pretty cute. The 'I promise I don't love you' scene is one of the most memorable angst scenes from the show imo.
Karen didn't really get the chance to have any other prominent dynamics :( I will forever be pissed about the awful way they handled Karen and Mandy. They actually had a lot in common and in a better world they would have been girlfriends friends.
My three favorite moments of theirs:
Pissing on her father's grave. Iconic.
The 'I promise I don't love you' scene between her and Lip. Idk why I love that scene so much but I do. It was just so well acted.
The scene between her and Sheila where Sheila apologized to her for not always being a great mother. Just the EMOTIONS.
Thank you! :)
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CHAPTER TWELVE 2.0
I started the last two chapters, happy to have something of substance to talk about, me being at home, improvements I was seeing, maybe even some rightful disappointment at some people’s lack of care in their actions…but like clockwork the beginning of the week brought in new developments and my mind drifted focus. My fingers lost the spark to write about feel-good situations when the chaos in the world seemed to extinguish the flame.
I was in Texas just two weeks ago but it honestly feels like forever, as if time is confused on what pace its on. The USA seems to be confused as well.
Theme parks across the nation are opening up. Some flights are back to full capacity. The world seems caught on a pendulum of thought: “Are we good enough to pretend and pass like we can go back to normal?”
Meanwhile, people are still getting sick. People are still dying. Protests are still happening, although it apparently doesn’t serve the media to still be airing that. Justice has still not been served for those we’ve lost: Breonna Taylor, Vanessa Guillen, Elijah McClain, and so many more. The media and internet is ablaze with people ridiculing, attacking, or making fun of each other, on top of everything going on.
I wonder if I’m a part of that sometimes. While I still think protesting for “bar lives” is unfathomable and tone deaf, while it was so easy to ridicule because it was so insanely insensitive to compare to the BLM movement, did I help to further a narrative full of spite? Did I egg on anger and divisiveness, did I unintentionally help create arguments online? Did I give a platform that I don’t agree with more attention by calling attention to it?
I’m all for the hard but important conversations. I love them, to be honest. My family and I had many thought-provoking conversations when I was home, about what they’ve experienced with racism, about our opinions on all sides. It was wonderful to expand our ways of thinking using past and present! I think we all walked away with more rounded backing to our opinions, me included, and I’m thankful to have a family that can be so open and willing to discuss.
Yet, those conversations can’t be condensed into however many characters can fit in to a tweet. The art of negotiating is not all about winning, it’s also about empathizing. It’s about explaining and getting the opponent to understand your side and school of thinking; if you just tear them apart for their lack of understanding or different opinion, how can they ever fully understand or want to, especially if you are the one trying to teach them something not in their wheelhouse?
Racism, of course, is non-negotiable.
Everything else, and it’s a lot, that we have encountered in the last few weeks (mainly dealing with COVID) feels like it’s cumulatively driven us to a breaking point, to a point where I don’t really feel like I live in the “United” States of America. I feel like we are now all pitted against each other, immediate to defend our point, and jumping to 10 because honestly we are tired of the bullshit.
I get it. I do. But in the last few days while I’ve watched coronavirus cases develop, “Karens” making a fool of themselves in public places and endangering people’s lives with their sense of entitlement, while watching Hamilton for the first time and seeing good and bad critiques, Kanye running for president, while I’ve cried over Vanessa and what happened to her only to have someone try to belittle my reaction compared to others we’ve lost, I realized something.
Chaos. All chaos.
How can we make real change when we are all just screaming? How can we move mountains when we are pushing from two opposing sides? And while we have made progress, will we have the sensibility to keep with it or will our boiling frustrations overrule and distract us from our end goal, lasting and transformative change for the betterment of BIPOCs and everyone?
I’m not hating on our progress. And I’m not vilifying people’s reactions to things not in your school of thought, albeit insanely frustrating things. I’ve been there and am there. The amount of Facebook posts I’ve written novels for, the shock I feel on a daily basis for some people, is all still there. Yet, my sadness for this world and how to heal it has crept in and bated me.
What can “I” do to make a difference?
Hating and bashing things is our new normal, our humor has become intertwined with it so much that we ridicule and make jokes out of everything. Click-bait headlines only stoke the flames. Coronavirus is still surging every day, and you know what, some people can’t pretend to go back to “normal” amongst it all.
The entertainment business, for example, won’t be back up and running for… who knows? I wouldn’t be surprised if Broadway was closed for longer than a year. We rescheduled our tour in hopes that we would be able to go, but with the way things are looking I can’t help but feel distressed about the outlook for the entertainment industry/shows all around. So many people’s “normal” won’t come back at all until we get a headway on this virus, and it’s gonna take us all coming together for that to work as well. We have to truly be THE UNITED states of america.
As a side-note, Pentatonix has never been this stationary since we started…and that’s bittersweet too. Never take anything for granted, guys.
So while I dissolved into a puddle over Vanessa and how I don’t even know how to help mediate the world anymore, with people at each others throats literally and figuratively all the time, with good people and bad people on every side, I returned to a very old school of thought for myself.
Be kind.
What can “I” do every day?
Yes, use my platform as a strong voice of advocacy, try to filter through everything to make sure I’m posting facts and not scare-mongering or leading anyone astray from what they should be seeing.
I’ve protested. Signed petitions. Written emails. I tried to raise awareness and bring everyone along with me on my journey as I learned, which I thought was helpful.
But I forgot about the most important thing, the thing that’s been ingrained in my head since I was a child for better for worse, the one thing that even though practiced vehemently, never always comes back guaranteed.
Be kind.
I lost that somewhere along the way, a bit. I could feel my soul hardening at how cruel some people can be, I felt how easy it was to smite and bash people’s names who have done far worse. I felt my eyes cloud with hate.
For a long time I thought the battle was human vs earth and I was always so sad to see how easily we destroyed such a precious gift.
Now I know at its core that the real problem is human vs human: how to one up each other, how to be more successful, how to win, how to be MORE all the time. That feeling has been slowly poisoning us and our empathy and compassion towards others. That feeling is not about bettering oneself, it’s about greed and it spreads like cancer.
For a long time, I didn’t want to “be kind” like a Disney princess anymore. I was tired of trying to use kindness as a shield as if people’s actions did not hurt me. I was mad at my kindness for blinding me and letting me get hurt. I thought the phrase “kill them with kindness” was stupid, because I was the one that kept getting hurt.
But my kindness did not do that to me. I did not do that to me.
People did. Hurt people. Confused people. People that had problems within themselves that were in no way a reflection of me. People with opposing views. Those people are not my fault. Those people don’t get to have their anger bleed in to my life, they don’t get to poison my disposition with their greed and animosity.
What can I do?
Every day, I can make a point to not be divisive. To not so easily make fun of things, belittle, call names, etc.
I can tone down my “complaining” online. I can not get so upset and rush to attack people that would be hard to get my point across to anyway online, so I don’t work myself up for hours about one internet troll when I could be doing other more important things. Why lose sanity over someone only wanting to argue? Why revert to the name bashing, why invite more stress and anger in to my life, even though there’s enough anyway with what’s going on in the world?
As I uncovered more history, had more awakenings and understandings, and dealt with my own personal stresses, I felt my strength oscillating and now I know why. I was so hardened with hate and disbelief, I felt like a fool living in a world that said it was something else. And...I left my best ally behind in my own rush for MORE.
Kindness.
Empathy. Understanding. Patience.
So for July, I’ve decided to take care of myself a little more. Take care of others. Make sure that I am not contributing to anyone’s pain, and only being an ally to amplify voices that need to be heard.
There’s a kinder way to say everything. There’s a kinder way to live. Amongst all this chaos, maybe if we were all a bit kinder, we could ease the waves of tension and calm the storm. Maybe if we could see past ourselves, we could make a lasting change for us all.
I changed my bio the other day. We must be like the sunflowers, pulling toxicity from the ground and air. Nature’s helper. I said I would be like that.
They don’t contribute anything negative, they just stand tall and strong, a mediating force in a world that needs purifying.
So, I will armor myself with my strength, knowledge, and kindness.
And see about tomorrow.
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for the otp game gimme the og pairing, kate and Matt Murdock c'mon u kno u want to
Getting back to my ROOTS love it
1. What was their first impression of each other?
“WHOMST this garbage can?” with a side of “oh no he’s hot” for Kate
like, okay, it was more of a “oh you’re a COMPETENT garbage can” but still, a garbage can.
2. What is their ship name?
Mattkate? amongst my various playlists and document names they are also “feathers and horns” and “evil eyes and daring dodos” “
3. Describe their relationship dynamic.
garbage
just kidding. in a lot of ways they are opposites attracting--Kate is good with big plans but has trouble with details while Matt is ALL about details. Kate is a contingency planner, while Matt is more impulsive--at least when fighting crime. Kate has a LOT more practical experience than Matt does. That’s flipped in their romantic relationship--Matt’s more likely to slow play something or be cautious while Kate has a “ah fuck it” mentality. Go for broke, fix the damage later
4. What was their relationship like before they got together?
pftpfpfpf antagonistic but in a dumb way, like, both of them constantly spiritually eyerolling at each other but also secretly impressed with the other’s skill. they were weirdly touchy-feely with each other early on in their friendship, due to checking on each other’s injuries, etc (weird for them, not weird touching)
5. How would they describe each other?
they both think the other is reckless which all of their friends would think was hilarious if they all also didn’t have a stash of bloodstained towels that are Matt and Kate’s fault
Matt thinks Kate is one of the strongest people he’s ever met, and she’s...not forgiving, exactly, but always willing to give people a chance. he also thinks she’s really funny.
Kate describes Matt as simultaneously the smartest person she’s ever met and the dumbest person she knows. He’s brave, selfless to a fault, and has a “look at all the fucks i give” mentality that she really admires
6. What do they love about each other?
Matt loves Kate’s determination and her steadfastness. In a lot of ways, she’s easily distractible, terrible with time, but if she says she’s there for you, she’s there, no matter what. She’s also not afraid to tangle with powerful people, so the have that in common,
Kate loves Matt’s “Stick it to the man” attitude, how deeply he cares for his friends, and that he’s normal, mostly, but saw a problem and decided to do something about it.
7. What do they have in common?
concussions
also looking at people they have no business tangling with and fucking with them anyway.
8. What are some differences between them?
Kate is very aware that she’s human. This is something she’s aware of in fights and forgets after, so she’s bad at taking care of herself.
Matt knows he’s human and ignores this fact during fights but is VERY aware of after. So he makes sure Kate takes care of herself.
Matt also angsts a lot more than Kate about the morality and legality of vigilantism, whereas Kate’s been doing this since before she could vote so she’s kind of over it. Matt also has a lot more doubt over being a superhero and Kate’s all in.
9. What made them realize they were in love?
they’ve lowkey been in love for most of their relationship, honestly, so for both of them it was a lot of little things building up over time. One morning Kate was tying Matt’s tie for court and he had a split lip--he was going over his opening statement, drumming his fingers on her hips and she just went ah. that’s what this feeling is. it wasn’t like, a startling revelation, just something that settled back in her gut, something that was always there.
Matt realized he loved Kate, like, truly madly deeply, one day listening to her snoring in the vents between his office and hers. Looking back, though, he thinks he first started falling in love with her when she threatened to get into a physical altercation with Stick
10. What are their love languages?
cuddling. they’re SUPER physically affectionate. or not even affection, just touching to check in on each other.
they also bandage each other’s wounds
11. Do they get married? Who proposes and how?
i know nobody will believe me but I DON’T KNOW!!!! Because Kate doesn’t see the point but Good Catholic Boy Matt MUST GET MARRIED. Matt probably resigns himself to them never getting married and then Kate proposes to him after some fancy event--basically her in a full length evening gown on one knee (that pops very loudly) and Foggy whooping in the background.
That, or one of them is hospitalized and there’s some Shenanigans with letting the other in and Matt’s like “never again. we’re getting married,” and Kate’s like “fine but we’re using my insurance” (while she’s hooked up to an IV and oxygen)
it’s the least romantic thing ever but both of them think it’s PEAK romance and get very sappy and emotional about it. Sister Maggie is over the moon. Father Latte is stoked. They are completely unaware of the fact that Kate actually has to be convinced to have a Cathoic-ish wedding, and that Clint is very upset he’s not allowed to perform the ceremony
Kate’s dress is fabrics Matt likes to listen to against her skin. Matt wears a burgundy tux with an arrow tie bar.
12. What would happen if they never met?
Matt’s life is the show, Kate probably winds up back in California. I hate to be like “Matt dies young” but that’s what happens, folks.
13. Who dies first? How does the other one react?
this isn’t real life. fuck death. also, considering Matt has been missing, assumed dead, i can say Kate reacts Not Well, takes down a drug smuggling ring, becomes invested in Frank Castle as a human person, (re)joins SHIELD, and teaches Karen self-defense (seriously, it’s like...a whole thing I started writing)
14. Are there any love rivals?
Frank Castle, Elektra Natchios, and movie!Matt. Two of those have polyamory potential. one is just getting his ass kicked
15. Describe your favorite moment of that ship!
their UST cuddle sessions. where they’re like “we’re not cuddling” but they TOTALLY are
16. What do other characters think about this relationship?
mostly varying shades of “oh my god, they’re gonna die”. Most of their friends think it’s cute--Frank Castle doesn’t get it at all, Foggy sometimes wonders if Kate is a bad influence. Father Latte LOVES them together, can’t wait to marry them. Clint doesn’t think Matt’s good enough for Kate, but that’s pretty typical.
17.Describe or write a really fluffy scene!
this is a post-midland scene where father latte yoinks Kate into the church
Sister Maggie glares and bitches—who knew nuns bitched?--but the other bed gets pushed up against Matt’s. Kate’s not entirely certain what Sister Maggie thinks is going to happen—Matt’s clearly not in any position to do much more than sleep and moan in misery—but the nun’s eyes soften a bit when she sees Matt’s hand still clasped between Kate’s.
“I’m not leaving him,” Kate repeats, aware that she’s starting to sound like a petulant child and not much caring.
It’s done, though, and Kate lays on her side, facing Matt and still holding his hand like it’s a lifeline. Exhaustion settles around her like a heavy blanket and Kate fights through it to wriggle just a little bit closer to Matt, close enough to press her forehead against his arm, remembering other times they’d slept like this that seem so long ago.
…
Matt doesn’t wake so much as he slowly drifts toward consciousness. There’s something different about it this time, something he can’t quite remember that makes him anxious and excited all at once.
Someone is holding his hand, something is warm all along his side, and even though his hearing is muffled, Matt can hear someone crying out.
He breaks the surface and gasps for air.
So much pain, his leg feels like it’s on fire and his skull feels two sizes too small and his ribs crackle with pain every time he breathes.
But something--
Someone is holding his hand, hugging his arm and he can’t smell or hear or taste but the calluses and the scars are familiar and Matt's heart leaps into his throat.
“Kate,” he croaks, squeezing at her hand while tugging at her arm. “Kate, it’s nightmare, wake up.”
Matt can’t even count on one hand the number of times that method of waking Kate up has worked, mostly because it never has, but this time, someone’s looking out for them because it does.
Kate jerks upright, her breath coming in sharp pants that echo in the silence, loud enough that even Matt can hear. Her hand tightens around his as she catches her breath, gulping in enough air to make a sad, heartbreaking little noise. “It’s real, you’re alive?”
Matt doesn’t respond because he’s using what little energy he has to reach for her with his free hand, his fingertips clumsily bumping against her cheek.
She makes that sad little noise again, one that Matt knows would rip right through him if he wasn’t already in excruciating pain.
She’s leaning over him, then, the tips of her hair brushing against his bare skin before she’s raining kisses on his face, light, gentle, sweet kisses.
This is familiar, Matt thinks, feeling like this might have happened a few hours earlier, before someone changed the room so she could lay down next to him.
He doesn’t know how to comfort her. Before—this, before everything, he would have listened to her heartbeat before deciding if he should ask her if she wanted pressure or space. And he would have either scooted to the far edge of the bed, or he would have rolled on top of her, setting his weight on her to keep her grounded and present.
18. Describe or write a really angsty scene!
sooo uhhh not strictly mattkate but from a wip where Matt doesn’t let Kate know he survived the explosion at midland and Kate stumbles into the punisher season 1 storyline uhhh i have nothing to say for myself
“He left me.”
“What?” Frank’s thunderous gaze is fixed on Kate now, and she falters under it.
“Matt. He, um. When he. At Midland,” she stumbles through the thought and Frank softens. “he didn’t just—I don’t know what Karen told you—he didn’t just die—he--he stayed. Her name was Elektra.” Kate takes a deep breath and it’s like she’s rehearsed this, how she would say it and the words come too easy.
“She was he ex-girlfriend, former love, from college. She came back into his life about the same time we met you. And it was rough, you know? They still had feelings for each other, but he picked me—or maybe he didn’t, maybe it was because she died and that made the choice for him. There’s a lot of magic bullshit in this story,” Kate answers Frank’s unspoken question. “And it was magic bullshit that brought her back to life, only not quite right. Not quite human. She’s who they were fighting at Midland.” Her eyes prickle hot with tears as she says the worst part, the part her mind worries like a dog with a bone when she can’t sleep at night. “He chose. To, to not let Elektra die alone, he chose her over me. He decided that life with me was worse than death with her,” and there it is, the whole ugly, painful truth, I wasn’t enough, it was Elektra all along, and it burns the back of her throat, it constricts her chest. The tears burn tracks down her cheeks, cooling along her jaw. “I hate him. He made me believe—I thought what we had was real. I thought he loved me--”
Her voice breaks on a sob she can no longer contain, and all at once Frank surrounds her, his arms crushing her to his chest, his gentle shushing ruffling her hair. “Hey there, sweetheart, hey, it’s all right. He loved you, anyone could see that. He could have gotten trapped, could have gotten hit in the head, we don’t know.” His hands drag up and down her spine. “I’m right here, sweetheart, it’s okay.”
19. Talk about a headcanon you’ve never talked about before.
so it’s not exactly MattKate but Kate was married to America, once, in space, and they just...forgot to get divorced after they broke up. So there’s a whole thing with the three of them that involves Matt and America becoming really good friends--I mean, they both like punching stuff, that’s a solid basis for a friendship, right? And they get lunch every few months and Kate’s just like “why is my ex-wife texting you”
and, of course, the “Kate and Elektra dated” headcanon, which dovetails really nicely with Matt/Kate/Elektra ot3. Kate and Elektra just sprawled on Matt’s couch asking him to bring them food because they’re heiresses they’re too pretty to get things themselves
20. What does a typical date look like for them?
Kate trying to keep Matt from listening for crime. Kate grilling Matt about the kitchen, Kate guessing the relationships of the other diners and Matt telling her if she’s right or wrong. Stopping a mugging on the way home and making out in an alley.
21. What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?
WHOOPS MISSED THIS, but it’s the first time they take Fisk down. it was them working as a team, recognizing their romantic feelings, just. all around a good day. it’s an anniversary they celebrate every year
#Anonymous#mattkate#matt murdock#kate bishop#hawkeye#Daredevil#my stuff#ask meme answers#give me more this was fun#if it's a ship i've written for i'll probably post some stuff i've already written#also what the hell is happening with the formatting what did i do
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