#someone needs to put me into like a medically induced coma so I can sleep properly or smth | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

idyllcy · 7 months

Text

and baby, if you knew

word count: 2.1k

warnings: mentions of the night before (?), morning after, hickies (?)

summary: oh the horrors of getting caught the morning after (pt2 of saying we're just friends)

You stare at yourself in the mirror, blinking incredulously. (Partially out of pure shock, partially because sleeping with your contacts on was NOT a smart decision on your end)

Holy fuck, Tim got mouthy with you.

You tilt your neck to brush your fingers over the hickeys, gawking at the way it trails down your neck and collar to your chest, the purple popping on your skin. Sure, you weren't half as pale as Tim was, but hello? You didn't even bring concealer. You weren't expecting him to take you to the Wayne Manor.

"Tim." You swallow, grimacing.

Tim raises a brow, shirt pulled halfway over his head.

"How many hickeys did you give me? Do you have a whisk? Do you have ice? Are you secretly a vampire???"

"One question at a time, lovely." he mumbles. "Seven. There's a whisk and ice downstairs. I am not secretly a vampire, although I can see why you'd guess that."

You blink at him. "Do you have a collared shirt?"

"Just settle for one of my shirts for now." He pulls the shirt over his head, tossing you the other one in the bed.

"Please tell me it's not sheer."

"It's not."

"Thank GOD you're rich." You mumble. "It's a blessing to have non-sheer white shirts."

"Yeah, I get that." He mumbles. "Come on. Alfred called us for breakfast a little ago."

"Which one of your siblings are here?"

"We'll see." Tim hums, shutting the door to his room. (All of them are downstairs, likely. They were probably having a post-valentine debriefing like they usually do. Bruce was not spared from it.)

You duck behind Tim when you notice everyone having breakfast.

"You said we'll see! Are none of them staying with the people they were out with last night?!"

"It happens every year." Tim hums, holding his hand out for you. "Come on. Don't do the walk of shame."

"Seriously. I run a stan account for you and live in my dorm. I'm practically a hermit." You deadpan. "I am NOT cut out to be meeting your family this early in the morning."

"Master Tim, young miss. Are you ready for breakfast? We are having pancakes."

"Just kidding I would kill for pancakes right now." You mumble, following behind Tim as he sits you next to him.

All eyes are on you as you adjust the collar of your shirt, the tag scratching against your skin, the hickeys on your neck visible. You thank Alfred as he places a plate before you, and you start at the chocolate chip pancakes. Holy shit, fuck the eyes on you, this was heaven.

"Alfred, do you have a recipe book?" You blink at him, eyes wide in admiration.

"Which recipe would you like, young miss?"

"Oh, all of them if possible. I'd love to be able to cook half as well as you can." You hum, taking another bite of your food. "Do you have a digital copy?"

"Unfortunately, all of it is on paper or in here." He smiles, tapping his brain. "But I am more than willing to provide you with any recipes you may like."

"Mm!" You shove the last piece of the pancake into your mouth, swallowing as you get up. "Tim, do you have a laptop? I want to type a couple recipes down and transcribe what's on paper—"

"Pull open the drawer to your left." He hums.

You pull it open, blinking at him.

"There's a false bottom in it. One of my spare laptops is in it. The password is a combination of letters." He hums.

"With significance?"

"Yes."

"Oh, then I know an approximation, then." You hum, working your finger into the side as you prop it open, pulling his laptop out. "Is it our birthdays?"

"Wait, how did she–" Dick's cut off when you manage to open it on your first try.

"Alright. I'm gonna go! I'll be with Alfred if you need anything." You smile.

"She just?" Duke blinks incredulously. "Did she just hack open your laptop on her first try? Is she in compsci like you?"

"English." Tim grabs a couple pancakes, cutting off a piece of butter. "Creative writing, technically."

"Oh, is she making her own major?"

"Yes." Tim hums. "I don't actually know how she guessed that it would be our birthdays since I only changed it a little while ago. It'd be easier to open if it was just our birthdays combined. Maybe she was stalking me."

"Or, maybe all the years of running a Robin Twitter account finally paid off." Jason shrugs. "She's quite a big writer on the internet too, you know?"

"Yeah." Tim hums. "She's quite the character. Have you read her works?"

"I have." Damian speaks up. "Her writing resembles poetry, pulling on the strings of your heart and snapping them at moments you least expect."

"You've read her works?!" Tim raises a brow at Damian. "That's surprising."

"She resembles the poets."

"She'd love to hear that come out of your mouth for sure." Tim mumbles. "Anything else I should know?"

"She covered me for change once while I went to buy cup noodles." Cass mumbles.

"I'm mutuals with her on Twitter?" Steph points.

"Okay, that's not the point. Timmy." Dick deadpans. "Did you sleep with her last night?"

"Sex or just plain sleeping? Because we did both—"

"I DIDN'T GET TO GIVE YOU THE SHOVEL TALK!" Dick cries. "Okay, when a man and a—"

"Dick, I'm well over into the ages of a legal adult." Tim sighs. "Besides, I'm like seventy percent sure that you gave me the shovel talk when you first found out I was dating Ari in high school. Also, I got one from my dad and Bruce, so I think I'm good."

"Oh, right." Dick mumbles. "But still."

Steph pauses. "Does she want a whisk?"

"She was asking for one earlier." Tim hums.

"We'll go help." Cass mumbles, getting out of the seat, dragging Steph.

"Okay, Tim. Is she the one who was making you all red and blushy during Christmas?" Dick slides closer to him, throwing an arm around his shoulder.

"Yes." Tim sighs, batting Dick's hand away. "She was."

"How'd you ask her out?"

"Told her if she had nothing to do on Valentine's, then she could stick with me and I could plan a date." Tim reaches for another pancake.

"And she agreed?" Jason snorts. "Wow. She's way out of your league."

"Yeah, but at least I got B's absolutely insane ability to pull." He mumbles. "Pulled way out of my league, for sure."

"If you fumble her I fear the things that will happen to you, Drake." Damian clicks his tongue.

"Do I... know her?"

"Duke," Damian sighs. "You're smarter than this."

"He's messing with you right now." Jason pours himself another cup of coffee.

"What's your relationship with her." Tim deadpans.

"She used to peer review my poems." He hums. "It didn't click until Damian showed me her information this morning, though."

"You just let them go through my girlfriend's personal information?!" Tim finally looks at Bruce, who only gives him a shrug.

"No harm in knowing a little more about your girlfriend."

"I swear, if you bring her in on the vigilantism—"

"That's not happening. I can promise that." Bruce glances at his almost empty mug. "Does she know?"

"She called me out for being Red Robin last night in the car." Tim sighs. "Besides, it'd be strange if she didn't notice immediately how similar Red Robin and I's voices are."

"She's been running your account for how long... now?" Bruce motions for Jason to pass him the coffee.

"Since middle school, so like..." Tim pauses. "Give or take seven years."

"That's a long time." Dick mumbles. "My longest-running fanpage is only six-ish years."

"If you count the Gotham Gazette, then I've been running for the longest." Bruce snorts. "Is she the one?"

"I think she is." Tim smiles. "And if she's not..."

"Then I will personally see the end of your life, Drake." Damian grumbles. "I shall have mother adopt her and have her write poetry for me in exchange for a living space and food. She shall be the equivalent of a court poet except to mother and I."

"I honestly think she wouldn't turn that down." Tim grimaces.

"Is she that desperate?"

"She's joked about sleeping with a millionaire to make some money." Tim grimaces. "Something something desperate situations call for desperate measures."

"She would love it in mother's mansion, then." Damian hums, sipping on his tea. "I shall have her write a poem for your death. It shall be my last mercy."

Tim grimaces. "What if she breaks up with me?"

"Then you're in the fault, obviously." Jason mumbles, looking at his phone.

"So it's my fault regardless of what happens?"

"Listen, her tweets are unhinged. You can't say you like crazy girls and then get annoyed when you date one and she acts insane." Jason grumbles.

"He's got a point, Timmers." Dick hums. "I hope it works out for the best, regardless of the ending."

"Twenty bucks they are endgame." Damian mumbles.

"Alfred bet ten that Tim would pop the ring."

"Ugh, come on. You know no one out-bets Alfred." Dick groans. "Did he set up the jar?"

"He did. This morning." Duke hums. "I put my bet in too."

"Come on–"

"You can't say shit when you bet on all of our relationships and pretty much came out unscathed in all of them." Jason glares. "Shut it."

Tim rolls his eyes, surrendering himself to the idea that his relationship would get bet on.

"Tim, can I marry your sisters?" You come out of the kitchen, eyes sparkling.

"We're dating." He sighs. "Pretty bird—"

"EWWWWWWW" A mixture of faked hurls and gags are heard in unison as Tim rolls his eyes.

"Ignore them. Why do you want my sisters?"

"The hickeys are all," You pull your shirt down too to show your cleavage, the hickeys no longer visible, "gone! Your sisters are really good at this."

"Yeah..." Tim sighs, reaching to pull your shirt back up. "Steph isn't my sister, by the way."

"Oh, yes, I know." You smile. "After all, if she was, it'd be strange that you've dated her before."

Tim chokes on the air at your statement.

"Besides, she's my mutual." You hum. "I also got Alfred's recipes, by the way." You hum, smile on your face. "I also got his chocolate chip cookie recipe, though I need to figure out what the secret ingredient is."

"A dash of vanilla extract." Tim lowers his voice. "Don't tell the rest of the family."

"Got it." You give him a thumbs up.

"Do you cook?" Damian speaks up.

"I do! Mainly ethnic foods, since there isn't much of that here in Gotham." You mumble. "Got any good Chinese places?"

"Oh, there's this place on Seventh Ave and Jester." Bruce speaks up. "I used to get dim sum there. It's only open from eight to twelve, and you need to get in via reservation. Feel free to borrow my name whenever. Just make sure to invite me."

"Uncle Dan's, right?" You beam. "I went there a while back with another friend, but I miss like... the dim sum that's messy and chaotic in the morning."

"Oh, then try the one on Lightbeam." Dick pauses. "Ah, what was the other street?"

"Oh, that one's good." Duke agrees. "Sam Woo's Dim Sum and BBQ."

"I've had that too!" You smile. "They're good, just quite a while from the university."

"If you really want something good," Cass speaks up from behind you, "try Jin."

"Jin?"

"It's smaller, but it's family-run, and it's been doing business in Gotham for three generations already." Cass hums. "They're called Jin, but the Chinese character for gold. They're right by Gotham U too. On the corner by Circle K."

"The sketchy looking alley??" You blink.

"Yes, but their dumplings are to die for." She pauses. "And they sell in bulk if you want to boil any in your dorm."

"Tim, I want your sister."

"Pretty bird, we just started going out." He clicks his tongue.

"Tim, if you break her heart, I will date her." Cass blinks.

"You can visit her when she stays in mother's mansion."

"Hm?" You turn to blink at Damian.

"Ignore him—"

"Should you and Drake break up, I have already arranged your living arrangements, should you agree to it."

"And what might they be?" You hand the laptop to Tim, pointing at the document you shared with yourself.

"With my mother. Your only job shall be to write poems and short stories to entertain her."

"Living and writing for the Talia Al Ghul? Count me in." You sigh dreamily.

"Alright." Tim shuts the laptop after changing the password. "We're going to get going before her roommate calls the cops on her."

"Oh, right!" You mumble. "It was a pleasure meeting you all! I hope to see you again sometime?"

"Tim, send her number in the chat later!" Dick calls as Tim pulls you out.

"Sorry, they're quite embarrassing." Tim mumbles.

"They're warm." You smile. "I like it."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

Tim sighs in relief at the look of fondness on your face. Right.

You'll be fine.

#1: I wrote this in a frenzy in like 3 ish hours?#2: i've been awake for 20 hours at this point. yay.#someone needs to put me into like a medically induced coma so I can sleep properly or smth #ok anyways #THIS ONE'S FOR YOU ANON!!!#Tim drake x reader #red robin x reader #tim drake imagine #red robin imagine #ugh I'm pushign everything in the queue back for this ughhhHHHHHHHH nvm I'm queuing this gn I'll see u when this posts on uhhh idk #☾.fics

305 notes · View notes

forestshadow-wolf · 9 months

Text

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

"How?" Soap whispers the broken word after a nameless amount of time, bags and food and everything else had been long forgotten. "You didn't come back. They- they gave me your tags." The words no less broken than before.

Simon opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out, his lips seal again. Johnny can see in his eyes some inner turmoil, like simon doesn't quite know how to explain. A lock of sandy blond hair falls over his forehead, nearly reaching his eyes. Simon will probably want it cut soon, he doesn't like it getting too long, especially since he said it makes the mask uncomfortable. Simon's not wearing the mask, he realizes.

It's that thought that makes him realize he really could have never seen that hair again, his eyes water but the tears don't fall. Johnny sniffles, nosing into Simon's neck. He feels small, like he's a kid again and just woken from a nightmare. He runs his hands through that hair, over his neck, along his arm, down his torso, feeling just to feel. And simon smells like simon. Alive. And safe. And at home. Simon is alive and is wrapped as tightly around johnny as he is around simon.

"Kate's wife, Joan" johnny had no idea where this was going, but he stayed silent. "she's also CIA, 11 weeks, and 4 days ago her team found me while they were looking for someone else. They found me wandering the woods in some sort of daze. I must've hit my head in the explosion 'cus I don't remember much for the first couple days after." The more words out of Simon's mouth, the more worry worms into soap's gut. It was supposed to be a simple milk run, get the target and get out, simple. None of this... explosion shit. "They had to put me into a medically induced coma for 2 weeks. I have no records so they had no idea who I was. That's why they didn't cantact you or price. Laswell works hand to keep my record scrubbed, so Joan couldn't exactly tell them who I was. But she helped get me back here herself, stocked the fridge with easy meals, made sure I wouldn't accidentally kill myself, but she couldn't stay any longer, only had one day. I was still kinda fuzzy after that, couldn't barely figure out how to get myself food and water, much less work a phone.. I was sleeping most of the time anyway. I did try to call a few weeks back, but I think either the power went out and the router needs to be reset or the router broke or something, I don't know any of that stuff but I got no signal, and I haven't exactly been able to get around to looking at it, and the car's at base obviously so..." simon scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"I'm so reading the report you give to price. How'd you even manage to fit an explosion bad enough to give you amnesia on a simple in and out mission?"

Johnny opended his mouth to say something else, but simon beat him to it. "And before you ask, Joan and Kate don't share anything about their cases with eachother.. plus I think Joan's tean found me somewhere classified or something. She wasn't allowed to say anything. Also I'mnot the one who caused the explosion, so don'tblame me." He closed his mouth.

Johnny hugged him again, "you're alive." He whispered, "I missed you." And simon hugged him tighter.

"How long'd you get sent on leave?" Johnny mumbled something into his neck, sounding disgruntled. "C'mon, johnny, can't hear you like that." Simon smiled.

"Whose to say I got sent here." He huffed, Simon laughed

"Because if you'd have listened to me you'd have been here a month ago. C'mon how long?" Simon prodded.

"... 6 weeks."Simon whistled at that.

"What'd ya do to get that long?"

"... beat up one of the first day recruits." He grumbled, "but they were talkin' a loada gob 'bout you." He sank deeper into a pout.

"Defending my honor? And they say chivalry is dead, thank you." Simon kissed the top of his head.

Should I make a part 3?

#el rambles #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #ghostsoap #soapghost

139 notes · View notes

vi-enti · 10 months

Text

school’s over so back on the fanfic grind (a grind i have not openly shared on the internet since like. 2018), unsure if this is an idea to continue but i am thinking so hard... about the difficulties of the healing process. really gotta purge that poison

. . .

“Hello, this is… Hajime Hinata. The date is… I have no idea what the date is. It’s been 14 days, 9 hours, 47 minutes and 24 seconds since we woke up from the Neo World Program.”

“…I don’t know why I said it like that. It’s been about two weeks.”

“Uhh… I’m not sure what to say here, really. Naegi—Makoto, that is—told me this would be a good way to get my thoughts down. That way if there’s anything I forget, or anything I want everyone to know after… Well, I don’t think I can really forget anything. Even if I wanted to, I don’t think I could.”

“Sorry there are so many quiet gaps. I’m trying to think about what I want to say... I guess I’ll start with the facts, and we can go from there. I was the first person to wake up, and then Sonia. Kazuichi took a few hours longer, he was so… his limbs were so scarred. I could barely tell the healthy tissue apart from all of the burns and cuts. When he got out, he just kept screaming and crying, he just kept—“

“Akane was next, but she was barely a shell, too weak, so Makoto put her back under for a few more days before waking her up. She wasn’t in the pod though, we—they moved her to a hospital bed in a different room. This facility really has everything. You wouldn’t believe the scale of the medical equipment, Tsumiki would love it—“

“Basically, Akane woke up a week after Kazuichi, technically, and then we put her into a medical coma for a while. We as in… I didn’t do that. I mean, I did, but it didn’t feel like me.”

“Actually, I never feel like… me. I don’t know who me is supposed to be now. I’m still him—I mean, I’m still me—but I’m not me— fuck, this doesn’t make any fucking sense, I just can’t— Sonia, don’t touch me—“

“…”

“…I want my mom. I don’t remember the last time I wanted my mom. I don’t even… remember my mom, anymore.”

“…Patient 5, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko. We plan to wake him from his induced medical coma today, following complications from his enucleation operation directly after awakening from pod sleep. There was an infection at the area of operation and I deemed it too dangerous to continue until it was cleared. Naegi had some objections, but his background is not medical, and does not always need to be taken into account. Patient 4 will simply have to wait.”

“He still has the damn thing.”

“…they all do.”

“Alter Ego, end recording.” Hajime slumped back against his chair, bringing a hand up to push his hair back. It was a newly acquired habit, one always accompanied by the feeling of missing something, like there wasn’t enough hair to run through his fingers. He hated it. Hated thinking that it wasn’t newly acquired at all, that whoever he was in the past few years did it all the time.

That hadn’t gone nearly as well as he’d liked. These voice diaries were supposed to be records so they could explain things easier to the others once they all woke up, something to jog their memories. Privately, he was sure that Makoto had asked him to make them more for his own sake, as if they’d help somehow with all of the different thoughts running through his brain all of the time. If he spoke them out loud, then somehow they’d disappear. It was the compromise they’d settled on after Hajime had refused to attend Future Foundation-provided therapy. Most of the time they turned out exactly like this, not suitable for anyone’s ears except his own.

Makoto was an idiot. Talking about it wasn’t going to stop the constant streams of thought in his brain, analyzing every thing and every action around him, picking apart the movements of his friends and their slight changes in tone, detecting every potential threat and every potential weapon for killing someone—fuck.

He was so tired of dreaming up all the ways people could die. His rare moments of sleep were already haunted by spears and giant Tetris blocks, by fire and poison and terrified faces. He didn’t need more deaths on his mind, constant echoes of terrors of his own creation.

Sitting up properly, he stretched his arms out before standing up to examine his half of the room. At least two people kept watch in the pod room at all times, waiting for anyone to wake up next and making sure nobody died. It reminded him of the hospital in the simulation, someone always watching over Akane and Ibuki and—

An alarm beeped and Sonia, on the other end of the room, startled awake in her own chair. She had stayed on that side after Hajime shoved her away earlier, eventually drifting to sleep by Gundham’s pod. It was the one she stared at the most, blue eyes alight with grief and fury, even if she wouldn’t admit it. She was better off than Hajime, at least. One of his eyes stayed empty. Makoto had warned him that she shouldn’t be allowed to spend so much time with Gundham, but he could never bring himself to pull her away. Clearing his throat, he waited for the former princess to look up towards him.

“Shift change. You should go sleep in an actual bed, I can wait for Kazuichi and Makoto if you want to go on ahead.” She shook her head, fingers trailing over the glass coffin holding the Ultimate Breeder.

“No, that’s alright. You’ve been here long enough, you need to rest before Fuyuhiko. It’s only a few more hours away. Besides, I…” Sonia trailed off, gaze shifting to the pod next to Gundham’s, covered with a sheet. Everyone had to be checked on, but there was just one person Hajime couldn’t stand to see. The only person in the room that caused his dead eye to come to life.

He couldn’t identify the emotion, but it had to be hate. It had to be, right?

At least he knew he wouldn’t be judged for it. Everyone had someone they couldn’t look at in this room, couldn’t face directly. Hajime was just the only one weak enough to require a sheet covering the pod. The only one who couldn’t be controlled if he had a fit of anger, or worse—one of despair.

Swallowing back bile, he nodded, making a quick exit from the room to the quarters right next door. A large room had been set up with beds and necessities for them, the six that were here and constantly switching out. Kyoko had suggested separate rooms, but after multiple nights of Kazuichi sneaking into his room or Sonia screaming in her sleep from across the hall, Hajime had fought for them to all be together. Makoto, almost with a child-like excitement, had insisted that he, Kyoko, and Aoi stay there too.

The lucky student in question had been sitting on the floor cross-legged when he walked in, laptop resting on a knee while he glared down at the screen. A glare from Makoto wasn’t usually all that effective, but whatever he was seeing seemed to be genuinely pissing him off. If Hajime had been anyone else, he wouldn’t have bothered disturbing the younger. Still, someone had to go fill in for him with Sonia until Kazuichi took over for her. The mechanic was nowhere to be seen—probably sitting at Akane’s bedside, as usual. Tapping Makoto gently on the shoulder, Hajime waited for him to look up from the email he had been so focused on.

“Oh, you’re back! Has it been six hours already? I didn’t even notice.” It wasn’t a long time to spend watching the pods, but Aoi had insisted. They had three pairs switching out, and she didn’t want anyone spending more time in the pod room than they did outside of it, in the fresh air and the real world—or so she said. Hajime was sure it had more to do with her growing concern for the five of them, Kyoko and Makoto included. While they hadn’t been in the program nearly as long, they still seemed just a bit too pale to her. As for himself, Sonia, and Kazuichi… Aoi had never known them before, but worried nonetheless about irreparable damage.

“Yes, I’m back. Will you find Kazuichi and tag Sonia out? She’s just finishing check-ups.” The shorter nodded, shutting his laptop and standing from his seat on the floor. “Everything alright?”

“It’s just Byakuya, he’s facing some problems bringing the medical equipment we need over to the island. The Future Foundation doesn’t see the need to care for some of the pre-existing conditions your class has, they’re just barely allotting enough supplies for taking care of the… last bits of Junko. It’s like you aren’t even humans to them, they just have no empathy!” Makoto rubbed his temples, forcing a weak smile onto his face. It hadn’t escaped Hajime that the bright-eyed boy that they had met in the final trial and the tired man before him right now seemed so far apart from each other. Because of us—because of me.

“We aren’t human to them.” He placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some comfort. “But we are to you. You’re the best of them, Makoto. I know you’ll work things out.” The younger’s smile twisted, not exactly happy, and he nodded in response.

“Right. The Ultimate Hope, that’s me. I have to be able to fix this.” Hajime raised an eyebrow, not meaning that at all, but Makoto was already walking out of the room to take over watch duties. That had gone… stunningly bad. Whatever part of his soul had been able to produce hope for the others in the Neo World Program had been hiding, his mind and body too used to the actions and words of another. Another who had no idea how to give someone hope for the future, much less comfort someone just the slightest bit. All Hajime seemed to be good at these days was making things worse.

A warmth squeezed around his hand, like someone urging him to stop thinking, and he yanked it away from—from nothing. There was nobody there. He just needed to get some rest before Fuyuhiko’s surgery today.

Two beds remained empty, waiting for their last members. Akane was awake, but still too weak to leave her hospital bed, and Fuyuhiko would join them today. Hopefully. Sitting on his own perfectly made bed, he wondered if all of the remnants would end up sharing a room for the rest of time. The three of them awake so far had their nightmares, some worse than others, and it was impossible to imagine the rest being able to sleep easy after all that had happened. It was too easy to imagine everyone around the room, as if their spaces were already there waiting for them. Glancing around, Hajime could imagine each and every one of them smiling at him, if he could just bring them all back, if he could just wake them up.

A flash of pink and white hair danced at the corner of his eyes, a gentle smile and a false one, and he slammed his head down on the bed, covering his vision with a pillow. Sleep now, hypotheticals later. Hypotheticals that could never, ever be reality anyways. It was dangerous to get lost in thoughts of a happy ending.

He didn’t deserve an ending just yet. There was too much to fix.

#me and my fucking em dashes #anyways i'm just sharing this to see if it's?? interesting??#i've been writing hella fanfic but i'm always very hesitant to put it on the internet #but i've had soOoOOo many worms lately thinking about facing trauma and healing relationships and how that process is just so bumpy #i have a whole lot more that isn't hajime pov but this is all i'm sharing ATM #i just really want to put these folks in therapy. and that begins at the beginning!#moon babbles #danganronpa #i GUESS #cw surgery #cw medical #just in case #hajime hinata #sonia nevermind #makoto naegi #dr2 #moon writings

142 notes · View notes

midnightdevotion · 2 years

Text

Shattered

Part 4 of the Safe Series

Rooster x reader

Not ready to end it here though so there will be more parts of their relationship evolving and them in future based settings :)

Warnings: This story features domestic violence, please do not read if that triggers you, mention of injuries, Swearing? mentions of not eating/sleeping (PLEASE EAT AND DRINK YOUR WATER) Hangman being a soft good friend to rooster. there's fluff in this one too.

a/n: ummm this came out of me like word vomit, fingers typing so fast it was insane. if there's mistakes which there probably will be just let me know. SORRY FOR THE ANGST

It's been 8 days. 192 hours. 11,520 minutes. The doctors have stopped giving you the medication that induces the coma, you still haven't woken up. The brain swelling went down after the fourth day, you went off the medication officially on the 7th day.

Rooster hasn't left your side, he uses the shower in your hospital room and eats shitty hospital food or whatever the dagger team brings him. Mav has told him not to come to work, to take all the time he needs but he doesn't know how to tell Mav all he needs is you.

He hardly sleeps. He almost hears your joking voice calling the bags under his eyes designer. Every time he shuts his eyes, he sees you, laying on the ground lifeless. He see's the way your eyes lose their sparkle and they flutter shut. He see's the blood that pools around you, oh god so much blood. He hears someone walk in, but he doesn't bother to lift his head.

"Bradley, I brought you some food" it's Phoenix. He swallows hard, knowing they are worried about him but god his stomach feels like a rock. How is he supposed to eat when you're not okay. How is he supposed to sleep, shower, breathe, like you aren't in here fighting for your life.

When he doesn't make a move to grab the food, staying hunched over your hospital bed, gripping your hand like a lifeline. To be fair, in his mind if he lets go he might drown. In the silence, in the nothingness that he feels, in the chaos of his mind.

"Roos you gotta eat, you know she'd want you to eat" He knows that, of course he knows that. In the few weeks you were basically living with him, you'd get up and make him breakfast. Teasing him that a granola bar and protein shake was not breakfast.

Maverick tried to get him to go home to sleep the first few nights, but he couldn't. Not when he'd walk in and be reminded of you humming melodies while cooking, or crying at the sad part of a show you were making him watch with you. Not when he'd walk in and smell that candle you loved to burn, or hear your laughter echoing in his head as he thinks of the night he made you dance with him to the end credit song of some cheesy movie.

He snaps out of it when he feels Phoenix shake his shoulder, the emotions of it all still thick in his throat. He finally glances up at her, and he sees the worry in her eyes. He doesn't want his team to be worried about him, but he can't go on like things are normal. Like his heart isn't shattered around him.

"when's the last time you slept" and it's a good question really, he's not even 100% sure. He can feel his eyes are dry and most likely bloodshot, but he can't find it in him to care.

"I uh- yesterday I think" they both know he's lying, it's been closer to three days ago that he last slept. Thankfully Phoenix doesn't say anything about his obvious lie.

She just puts his food in front of him, on a little tray the sweet nurse brought in. He knows Phoenix well enough to know she won't be leaving until he finishes the food. It doesn't bother him, he does feel bad that they clearly need to babysit him, but he's so grateful to have people in his life like this.

He can't help but wonder how his mom went through this, all alone, with no hope that her husband would be okay. That thought startles him a little bit, because yeah clearly you two were headed down a path of love, but he thinks he might be farther down the path than he thought. He looks over at Phoenix, dropping your hand to pick up his sandwich.

"Phoenix I can't lose her"

"You won't" Her tone is confident, and leaves no room for what ifs.

"I-I think I'm in love with her" If it were any other time Phoenix would respond with a resounding 'no shit' but he's fragile enough right now so she's gentle.

"I know you do- and you will get to tell her rooster" she adds the last part because she knows, she knows that he's so worried he's gonna lose her before she was ever even his to lose. She's relieved when she sees him finally take a damn bite.

His chewing is slow, methodical almost. He hasn't had it in him to ask if the piece of shit that did this to you is getting what he deserves. He's talked to the cops, not that he remembers his conversation with them.

"Is he... he can't touch her again" his voice is so rough and gravelly, mostly from not using his voice much over the last week.

"No Bradley, never again. He's going away for attempted murder, assault of Serviceman, stalking, Harassment and several counts of domestic violence. He won't ever see the light of day again." Her response should make him feel relieved, but if he's 100% honest with himself, he wishes the man was dead.

He wishes it for multiple reasons, so you wouldn't have to live in any fear, if he's dead he can never touch you again. He wishes it because it's not fair, you're here struggling to live, not waking up and he's alive. It almost scares Bradley, he's never been an overly violent man, but here he is wishing he could've killed someone.

He finishes the sandwich before Phoenix speaks again.

"I spoke with the doctors, they were saying she should be waking up soon.."

"I hope so" His voice is just a whisper. He's never felt so desperate, not when his papers got pulled, not when he was in the back of that plane with maverick seconds away from death, but here he is, desperate to the point his leg doesn't stop shaking, his hands tremble and he can't sleep.

All he wants is for you to open your eyes, to see the beautiful sparkle shine back at him. To see your smile and hear your laugh echo not only in his memories but out loud where it's tangible.

He wants to walk into the living room and see you passed out on the couch, or your tired eyes and sleepy smile when you insist on waking up with him. He wants it all, he wants all of you. It scares the shit out of him.

Natasha sticks around for another hour, before making her way out. He knows it'll be a few hours before Jake shows up. Every evening like clock work at 7:00 pm the cocky blonde walks through that door. With dinner, sometimes home cooked, sometimes take out, but every night without fail.

He presses the back of your hand to his forehead. His daily ritual of talking to you, hoping eventually you will wake up and respond.

"Please darling... you gotta wake up soon. I-I can't stand seeing you like this, lifeless, when you and I both know you're the most lively person. Hell sweetheart you always make me feel alive, more than anything i've ever done."

"You gotta be okay, you-you're a fighter and you're so so strong baby girl. I need you to be strong for me." he talks to you like you're a god he's praying too. In his eyes, you are godly. The way you got through this and didn't lose your softness, the way you still shine like the goddamn sun. His sun.

"I-I love you sunshine... you can't leave me before I get to tell you that" His eyes feeling too heavy to keep going, drift shut. Finally getting at least some semblance of sleep after three days.

He's startled awake by none other than Jake 'Hangman' Seresin. That man is anything but subtle. Tonight he brought the broken aviator some pizza, figuring it's a hell of a comfort food. Jake would never admit it, but he's spent time researching the best comfort foods, and has been making his way down the list.

Tonight, He places two little blue pills down next to his food. When Rooster looks at them and then up at Jake, he sees how worried even hangman is for him. The thought kind of grosses him out, he never thought he'd see the day the smug pilot was well, anything but smug.

"Sleeping pills, you're taking them" and there's no room for argument, not that rooster wants to argue. He's desperate for sleep, his headache that's lasted two days is getting a bit unbearable at this point.

So he nods, and he takes the pills and then continues eating. The most he's eaten all week, which makes it sound like a lot but 3 pieces of pizza and a breadstick is pretty small considering the normal portions he eats.

Hangman stays, eating the rest of the pizza, until Rooster falls asleep. Hoping the pills give his friend some semblance of peace. He researched what sleeping pills to get too, and these ones are supposed to have the least dream activity. He can't help but leave with some parting words to you.

"c'mon already, he's gonna waste away" and he walks out of the room, knowing Maverick will be back in the morning with breakfast.

You could hear everything. The entire week, hearing roosters cries, hearing him beg and plead and talk to you. None of it was easy, but hearing him say he loved you, when you couldn't even respond. Torture. At the beginning of the week, you weren't sure what was happening, too weak to fully comprehend. Then you heard the word 'induced coma' and it started to make more sense.

You'd heard stories of people in coma's being able to hear the people around them but you never knew it was true and it would happen to you. All you wanted to do was wake up and kiss the man who wasn't left your side for more than 10 minutes at a time usually when people forced him to get up and shower, or go for a quick walk. You were so so thankful that they were taking care of him like this. You were also going to give him a stern talking to. He wasn't taking care of himself and that just would not fly.

Slowly though, you were more and more aware, the fogginess going away ever so slowly. Until it finally happened. Your finger twitches, and you wiggled your toes.

It felt like an eternity before your eyelids fluttered open. It was about two in the morning, and you had no interest of calling in a doctor to check on you, not yet. They could do it in the morning. You still felt sore and tender just about everywhere, but when you looked at the curly haired pilot on your lap you didn't care.

You let him sleep, softly playing with his hair. God you missed him so much. Content you just let him sleep on your lap, despite the uncomfortable way his back looked. You knew if you woke him, he would refuse to go back to sleep.

It was around 6 in the morning when Maverick walked through the hospital door. You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you when you saw the surprise on his face. Wincing as your bruised ribs jostled with the laugh.

"Well you're certainly not who I was expecting to be the awake one" his voice is teasing but you can see the smile in his eyes.

"god it took way too long to wake up" he raised his eyebrow at this, because how could you possible know. You explained to him that you heard everything, and all you wanted was to wake back up.

"He's been a shell of a person without you" your eyes tear up a bit, because you know, and it's all your fault.

"i-i know... I'm so sorry" and you're shocked by what maverick says next.

"don't be, that's the abuse talking. I'm just telling you that he needs you, and it's a good thing. Bradley deserves to have someone that fills him up with love and joy and everything else, just please don't willingly leave him empty" The tears are streaming down your face, and you admire maverick so much, he clearly loves Bradley like a son and only wants the best for him.

Rooster starts to stir, and you thank maverick for everything he's done, for Bradley and for you. He just grins, and waves you off, but you know it means a lot to him based on the watery look of his eyes.

"make sure he eats, and we will all be back later to see you" he squeezes your free hand before leaving you two to talk.

It takes a few more minutes for rooster to fully wake up, he groans and rubs his eyes, glad his headache is gone but not ready to face another day with out you.

"morning handsome" and his heart freezes, stalls out, can he breathe? You see the look on his face, as he slowly turns to you, eyes meeting yours and you give him a gentle smile.

"Oh my god" it's a small mutter, barely heard over your heart monitor. you squeeze his hand lightly, and he springs into action.

"oh my god oh my god. Nurse! Doctor! she's awake!" you can't help the laugh that leaves you, he's so frantically sticking his head out the door. A nurse rushes in, and when she gathers that it's just you have woken up she grins.

"you know this man here hasn't left your side, definitely a keeper" she whispers to you when she does a quick check of your injuries, mostly to appease the pilot. Said pilot is watching, standing by the door arms folded and eyebrows raised so high you'd think you're in trouble.

You were correct.

"What the actual hell were you thinking!! Goin outside like that ALONE when you know he was after you!!" it makes your heart feel light and airy.

"Oh uh-uh Lieutenant you didn't sleep for like three days, let alone you hardly ate or took care of yourself at all!" You watch him freeze, a sheepish smile taking over his face.

"who told you that" It's a mumble, like he's embarrassed he got caught.

"nobody, I could hear everything roos" Realization dawns on his face and it changes to panic after about ten.

"e-everything?" you can't help the smile that graces your face.

"You can tell me now" it's cheeky and you know it but the way his cheeks turn red and he swallows hard has you so so happy.

"well I wanted to do it in a more romantic setting, but I love you sunshine" and yeah okay you heard him in your coma, but seeing his eyes soft and cheeks pink with the tiniest of smiles makes your heart stop.

"I love you too roos" he moves delicately closer, still so aware of your injuries and you're pretty sure he's gonna treat you like you're made of porcelain now.

He brings a kiss down onto your lips, but he's gone as quick as he was there. He laughs at the shock on your face and shakes his head.

"sorry honey but you're injured so no getting frisky with me" You roll your eyes, a smile on your face. You know recovery is going to be a long journey, mentally and physically, but with Bradley holding your hand, you can do anything.

Taglist:

@captainmarvelnerd

@averyhotchner

@lunamoonbby

@m3laniehearts

@frenchtoastix

@gspenc

@n3ssm0nique

@isieoop

@rintheemolion

@tooflef

@justanothermagicalsara

@halo-mystic

@ladym-17

@some-lovely-day

@can-this-be-a-fanfic

@wintersoldiersthings

@beaner-life-23

@alanadetigy

@luckyladycreator2

@multiplefandomsmess

@tkmarvel-divergentbish

@ohh-to-be-a-frog

@roosterschanelslut

@americaarse

@malindacath

#rooster x y/n #rooster bradshaw #rooster imagine #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw #top gun #top gun maverick

288 notes · View notes

ridiculously-over-obsessed · 2 years

Photo

I swear I will be caught up with these by tomorrow, I was so wiped yesterday after getting my assessment done kdfjglkf but I’m now scott free to write as much fic as I want until September, so brace yourself for that 😂 a continuation of day 14 - Hear Our Prayer because I feel bad about leaving that so unresolved dfkjgldfkg

Also on AO3!!!

DAY EIGHTEEN - GRIEVOUS INJURY

It was hours before the doctor came to find Beca and Aubrey. They had eventually moved from the hospital chapel to the waiting room for the simple reason that Beca didn’t feel right drinking coffee in a place of worship, no matter how much Aubrey had reassured her it was fine. Beca had been staring at the door the whole time, every time a doctor came through she would sit up a little straighter only to see them walk over to someone else’s relatives.

“Chloe Beale?”

“Yeah, yeah that’s us.” Beca was on her feet, too restless to sit whilst the doctor gave her, “How is she?! Is she gonna be okay?!”

“She’s stable.” The doctor smiled softly, “It was a nasty accident, Chloe has some very serious injuries. Because of the internal damage caused by the crash, we had to remove one of her kidneys and her spleen. Her left leg is broken in three places but we were thankfully able to save it. Our biggest concern is her head injury, there’s some swelling around her brain caused by her head hitting something hard, we’ve put her in a medically induced coma while me try and reduce it.”

“Fuck...” Beca let out a sob, running her hand through her hair as Aubrey put her hand on her shoulder, “Her- her brain? Wait, what about her kidney, she needs that, I- I don’t understand...”

“People can live with only one kidney, and her other one is working just fine on its own.” The doctor could see Beca starting to spiral and sought to try and offer some comfort, “Like I said, the most pressing concern is the brain injury, but if we can get the swelling down-”

“If?” Beca felt like the world was falling out from under her feet, “IF?!”

“I’m sorry.” The doctor frowned a little, “I wish I could give you better assurances, but as of now it’s just a waiting game.”

“Can- can I see her?” Beca was shaking a little in Aubrey’s arms, “I- I want to see her.”

“Yeah, of course you can.” The doctor nodded, “I’ll find someone to come a show you through.”

-----

Beca hadn’t left Chloe’s side for four days. No matter how much the doctors, or the nurses, or Aubrey had tried to get to her go home, to sleep for a few hours and shower and eat, Beca had refused. She had to be here for Chloe, she didn’t want her to wake up alone, to be in pain and scared because there was no-one she knew to tell her that everything was okay.

Because she was going to wake up. As terrifying as it was to see all the wires and tubes attached to her, to see the machine that was breathing for her, Beca knew that there was no way Chloe wouldn’t wake up. She loved her too much to leave her like this, to die on her after only two years of marriage. They were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together, Chloe had promised her, Chloe never broke a promise.

“You’re going to be okay baby.” Beca whispered against the back of her hand, tears in her eyes as she repeated the same thing she had every day since they’d gotten here, “You’re going to be fine. You’re going to wake up, and we’re going to go home and carry on with our lives, put this whole thing behind us. I love you, just wake up Chloe... please, just wake up.”

A hand rested on her shoulder, Beca sniffing hard as she turned to see Aubrey. She had been there every day too, but unlike Beca she went home at night to sleep and came back as early as she could. Beca didn’t know how she would have survived the last four days without her, she had been her rock, the only person that Beca trusted as much as she did Chloe.

“I can sit with her for a while Beca, you’ve barely slept or eaten...” Aubrey’s expression was full of concern as Beca shook her head.

“No... she needs to know I’m here. She was asking for me Aubrey, before she passed out she was asking for me and I wasn’t here... so I’m not going anywhere until she wakes up.”

Aubrey sighed softly as she sat next to Beca, “Chloe would not want you to run yourself into the ground like this Beca. She’d want you to sleep, to eat, to look after yourself in the middle of all this.”

“I can’t.” Beca whimpered a little, squeezing Chloe’s hand tighter, “Look at her Bree, how could I leave when she’s like this?”

Aubrey couldn’t answer that, settling instead for resting her head on Beca’s shoulder. Beca was stubborn at the best of times, but when it came to Chloe she was immovable, and Aubrey certainly wasn’t going on push her on this of all things.

“Chloe?”

Aubrey’s head lifted again, sharply as she looked over at the bed, Beca having sat forward with tears in her eyes. Her heart lept into her throat as she saw an achingly familiar pair of blue eyes starting to flutter open.

“Bree, get a nurse.” Beca mumbled, Aubrey hastily scrambling from the room as Beca cupped the side of Chloe’s face with her hand, a tearful grin on her face, “Hey Chlo... it’s okay, I’m here now, you’re okay.”

Chloe’s eyes were full of tears as her hand squeezed Beca’s back, Beca stroking her hair as a doctor and a nurse joined Aubrey. The tube was quickly and gently removed, Chloe gagging a little as it was, Beca wasting no time in pressing soft kisses to her cheek.

“B- B- Beca?” Chloe’s voice was a little slurred as she stammered out her name, Beca’s frown deep as she looked over at the doctor.

“Chloe, do you know where you are?” The doctor pushed gently.

“H- H- Hospital.” Chloe mumbled, Beca’s heart breaking a little as she saw fear and confusion in Chloe’s face as she struggled with her words, “C-Crash?”

“Yeah.” Beca nodded, kissing the back of Chloe’s hand, “You were in a crash Chlo, it’s okay though now. You’re safe.”

“W- W- Why... no... t- t- talk?” Chloe was crying softly as every word became a fight, Beca’s grip tight as her fingers ran through her hair.

“You’ve suffered a head injury Chloe.” The doctor was patient as Chloe’s hand began to shake in Beca’s, “There was some swelling that’s gone down, but it was around the language and processing center of your brain. There’s a good chance that some damage was done that’s affecting your speech, but we can work on that.”

“She’ll be okay right?” Beca frowned deeper, her stomach sweeping at the thought of Chloe’s ordeal not being over.

“We can’t know for certain just yet, but we’ll do a brain scan that will tell us more, and go from there.” The doctor was still smiling, “I’ll go and book you in for one, it should be about an hour. In the meantime, just rest. You came out of a nasty wreck with your life, you’re pretty lucky.”

Chloe’s gaze turned to Beca who was still running her fingers through her hair, looking at her like she was the most precious thing in the world.

“S- S- Sorry...” Chloe bit her lip, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Beca shook her head furiously, “This isn’t your fault, it’s on the jackass who barreled into you at seventy miles an hour through a red light. I’m so glad you’re awake Chloe, you’ve no idea how good it is to see your eyes again...”

“S-Scared.” Chloe sobbed as Beca pressed a gentle kiss to her temple, “W- Want... t- talk...”

“I know.” Beca sniffled, “I know baby. You’ll get there, and I’m going to be right here to help you okay?”

“L- L- Love you.” Chloe pressed her forehead into Beca’s.

“I love you too.” Beca promised her, “No matter what Chlo, I love you too okay? We’ll get through this. I promise.”

#pitch perfect #pitch perfect fanfic #pitch perfect edit #bechloe #beca mitchell #chloe beale #fanfiction #moodboard: bechloe #my fic #31 day angst challenge #31doa: day eighteen #drabble: bechloe #drabble tag

19 notes · View notes

fanfic-writing-addic · 2 years

Text

I wheel into the liveing room banner pepper dad Peter Clint cap Sam Buckley and nat all sitting down of course an intervention “what’s wrong” I ask trying not to sound mean or rude

“You need therapy” dad says

I go to say something but nat holds her hand up stopping me and cap says “you only sleep when peters there and right when he leaves you wake up like you’re afraid of something and when he’s not there with you you don’t sleep”

I sigh I suppose there right I do a faint smile “fine I’ll go as long as you all leave me alone about this”

“Deal” cap says dad nods in agreement as well as everyone else he somehow managed to get me a appamtment that day I guess before I decided to change my mind i wheel into the office well more like room it’s nice but not too nice it feels some what relaxing as well as comfy a women sits across from me “I know you don’t know me so we’ll start off gently my name is Jackie walles”

I smile at her then say “Luna stark” she nods her head

“If you don’t mind me asking how did you end up in a wheelchair”

“It’s a long story but to be honest it’s eating me up inside sure Peter knows he was there well he didn’t know what was happening same with Ned and Mj I just need to tell someone who doesn’t know me” she smiles

Then asks “who’s Peter Ned and Mj”

“Peters my boyfriend Ned and Mj are my best friends”

“Ok you may continue”

“There’s this kid everyone calls him flash he’s always have beaten me and Peter up well this time things seemed normal when he walked by and by normal I mean like anyone walking by a table I didn’t notice at that point we saw him but didn’t think anything of it we think he put something in my water or food because I was in a coma for a day it’s the same stuff they use to put patients in medical induced comas mixed with something else I’m not sure what my spine was already bruised so when he gave that to me it somehow caused permint damage to my spine I think that’s why I’m so scared to sleep alone now I can only sleep if peters near me” I sigh

“It’s ok I see this a lot with people in your situation I would like to tell you things will get better but the fear never truly goes away the best way to conquer fear is to keep doing what you’re doing and to rember that you’re never alone if need be sleep with a weapon by your bed” I nod my head happy pickes me up we head back to the tower when we get there the teams suited up

“You’re just in time go get changed we leave in five minutes” fury tells me my guess is we’re going in the helicopter again which is probably not the best idea saying I’m in wheelchair but you don’t question fury if you do then yeah you’re probably dead or close to it I put on the jump suit and meet him up on the roof he goes to help me

I stop him “I got it” I tell him I move the chair next to it then put both hands on the floor of the helicopter my legs swing helplessly out of the copter then I gradtuly pull myself up on the seat then I move my legs so there resting on the floor board he pushes the chair away and hands me a gun and a pair of banocyler which I lay on my lap as I put my seat built on he gets in the other side and flys the helicopter “so what’s going on” i ask him

He looks over at me before returning focus up ahead “it’s the same thing as last time”

“What do you think is going to make a difference now we’re probably going to be shoot down just now I can’t walk”

“That may be true but this time we won’t be shot down”

“How do you know”

“Because this time we’re prepared” i sigh I doubted that I truly did once we get to where we’re sapposed to be I tell the team we’re in position

Fury turns to me then say “I would like you to become an agent”

“Thanks for the offer but I have to decline I like what I do maybe one day I’ll learn how to fly a helicopter with no legs” he laughs

Then says “well if you ever change your mind let me know” I look down and see them pointing there weapons at us then it dawns on me the noise that’s how they know we’re here

I look over at fury “I need you to hold me” I say as I pull myself up on the top of the seat

He holds my waist then asks “what are you doing”

“SilenceIng the helicopter” he looks at me like I’m crazy i reprogram the choppers to throw the radio so it’s quite I take off the head phones he does the same and I seat back down in the seat

“How did you know how to do that”

“I read to much”

He laughs then says “it looks like it saved us” right then I realize that each avenger is surrendered

“How well can you fly through weapon fire” i ask

“Good enough not to get hit why” he asks I hook my phone up to the copter

“You might want to put the head phones back on” so he does I do the same then I speak through the mic to everyone “cover your ears and run”

“Why” dad asks

“Trust me” i then turn on the sounds the ones that get louder and louder till it’s so loud that humans can’t hear it anymore my guest is there a type of animal bat like but without the wings and it works

“We have one in the back of the plane” nat says me and fury look at each other he nods his head at me without saying a word and we follow them I have my gun trained on them at all times just in case it escapes

“Is he dead” I ask

“Yes Clint shot an arrow through it head” she says

“I have a bad feeling about this” I say leaning towards fury

“Same” he says with out breaking eye contact with the sky we get to the tower and land safely on the roof someone pushes the chair over to the edge of the heliocopter I get on the floor and put my legs over the edge of the helicopter when I look down I relise how high up I am

“I can’t do this” I say trying not to panic as it keeps looking like a longer and longer drop

“It’s ok” fury says he walks over and puts one of my arms over his shoulder he helps me out of the copter then puts me down on the chair

“Thank you” I tell him he nods his head we get in the elevator and head down he goes somewhere while I wheel into dads lab “hi dad”

“Hey are you ok” he asks

“Probably not” he laughs at that

“What were you thinking taking that that thing in the jet what if it wasn’t dead we don’t know what they can do you could have gotten everyone killed”

He drops his pen and looks at me “go to your room now”

“Why so that thing can come back to life and kill us all fine but you’re so stubborn you’ll never see what’s right or the odds of us getting killed”

“Go to your room and no electronics”

“Fine” I wheel out of the lab and head to my room slamming the door closed I get out of the chair and onto my bed I sit up and take my shoes off then throw them on the floor I throw my head back on the pillows and just lay there I should have accepted fury’s job

#fanfic #mine #spider-man #chapter 4 #starks daughter

2 notes · View notes

kaiparker-avengerssmut · 3 years

Text

Their Doll 1

So It Begins

B.Barnes x Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

series synopsis: y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past.

Series Warnings: smut, violence, torture, swearing

Chapter summery: y/n Stark is captured by shield

warnings: slight violence, swearing

A/n: The timeline in this has been altered, as there I things I wanted to include but I also wanted this fic to follow the storyline/timeline of Winter Soldier and Civil war.So for purposes of this fanfic, Peter Parker was discovered by Tony at a much younger age - when he was bitten - and has been an intern with him since, almost like a protégée.(For the purposes of this story Peter was bitten much younger too - more like when he was 9 or ten rather than 14/15)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

POUNDING echoed through my mind like the sound of a stone in a gutter, painful and unwelcome. Bright lights penetrated through my eyelids, piercing through my vision as my eyes fluttered open. The dingy stone ceiling lined with a grime of green entered my vision, along with the prying eyes of scientists and surgeons that crowded my unmoving body. My fingers twitched suddenly, my wrists pulling at the metal wrapped tightly around them. Upon further experimentation, I discovered both my ankles were bound too, causing me to thrash and rattle against the constraints.

"It's done." The sound of someone talking calmed me down, making me crane my neck to see where it came from.

"Good." Another voice sounded, followed by the clunky sound of boots walking towards me. "It's good to finally meet you." The malicious grin on the man's face was unmistakable as he came into my view, the tone of his voice sending sparks of fear through me.

... "I never chose to do what I did, they fucking tortured me, the forced me." I spat, my wrists pulling at the ropes tying me to the metal chair behind my back. Steve scoffed and folded his arms over his chest, Natasha placing a hand on each chair arm and leaning down so she was face level.

"Then why were you there?" Natasha pushed, but before I could answer she was backing away again - almost as if the question had been rhetorical. She stood up with a push at the chair, running a hand through her red hair. She let out a frustrated groan before turning back around. "Who are you?!" Somehow her voice remained calm, but her actions were anything but. She slapped me across the face, my head snapping to the side with the force of it. But I stayed quiet.

"Why won't you tell us who you are, y/n? If that even is your real name?" Steve pressed, his eyebrows mittens together.

"It is! I promise!" I cried, pulling at my bindings even more. Why did they not believe me? It's not like they couldn't guess. It was so frustrating, but I wouldn't put it past HYDRA - the people who took me from my already shit life and made it worse - to make it seem like I was the bad guy. Another slap landed on my cheek, my jaw clenching with anger. "Come on!" He shouted. "Tell is who you really are!" Steve continued to shout, shaking my shoulders, his face turning red.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

I swallowed thickly, awaiting a sharp quip. This time his fist hit my face, the world around me once again going black.

... The rhythmic beeping soothed me out of my sleep, my eyes widening into the intrusively white light enveloping the room. My mid wondered, trying to link the days events to my current situation.

I had started my day with a briefing with one of the HYDRA agents, like any normal mission I had. I was to find out exactly what Captain America and Black Widow we're doing on the boat, without being seen, before reporting back to my superiors. Just like any other mission I'd been assigned to in the last three months. Spying on the Avengers - looking for weakness, strengths, secrets, weapons; anything to give them an upper hand when HYDRA finally enacted their plans to overtake SHIELD.

My fist connected harshly with the side of the man's head, knocking him cold and colliding into the wall. I shook my fist off and advanced, stealthily wandering down the now-deserted hallway - avoiding the lifeless bodies that scattered the floor. Rounding a corner I checked around, seeing two more guards stationed the other end. I slowly stepped around, catching the two men's sight almost instantly, their guns raising to shoot. In return my gun was raised too, but their actions soon halted at the melodic sound of my voice humming through the space.

As if in a daze, the guards turned to each-other, raising the guns to point at their companion's head. Terror in their eyes, they pressed down on the triggers and two small bangs emitted from the guns and the bullets propelled into their heads. Their bodies fell limp, slumping against the walls of the narrow corridor and I walked forward, the heal of my boot landing in one of the puddles of blood and leaving a sticky footprint trail behind me.

"This wasn't the mission." A male voice exclaimed.

"Maybe it wasn't yours." A female voice retorted, the clicking of key on a keyboard constant through the argument. The sudden pause of the man made me pause, and before I could see or hear anything I was ducked down, hands on my ears and head whilst debris rained down over us.

A ringing plagued my ears as I slowly stood up, my vision blurred and unfocused. The haze of chaos around me unbalanced me, the sound of voices simply a muffled white noise as I tried to find my baring. As I almost-blindly stumbled into the room, which was littered with slabs of stone an fragments of exploded technology, my consciousness slowly leaked from my being. The last thing I remembered was hearing the girl shout:

"Steve!" Before she landed in a pair of strong arms, which hoisted her up from under me knees and her armpits. The unconsciousness weighed out and black seeped through my vision, my mind shutting off finally.

HYDRA had brainwashed me, kidnapped and abused me. They set up a trigger - three words and I slipped form reality, mind linked with a superior of which I did not know until the words were repeated back or I suffered strong enough head trauma. My thoughts subsided at the sound of voices echoing in the room.

"Who is she? Why was she there?" Steve's voice sounded, followed by Natasha's.

"Is she okay?" She sounded slightly worried. An unfamiliar voice responded.

"She's fine, just a bit of a concussion and some stretches, she is..." his voice trailed off as I drifted back into sleep, my consciousness fading once again.

...

(Third person POV) "She is an agent, she works for, um..." Bruce trailed off, looking at Steve with sympathy. His jaw clenched.

"What, Bruce? Who does she work for?" He pressed, rubbing his temples with his fingers.

"She works for HYDRA." Bruce finished, wincing as Steve's fist connects with the wall beside y/n's bed. Nat instantly moved to calm him, her hand wrapping around his shoulder as she whispered soothing words in his ear.

"Maybe you should go and see Tony, tell him about y/n." Nat offered, both their eyes trained on Steve as he left the lab. When he was gone Bruce turned to Nat.

"I think we should keep her sedated, until we know who she really is and just how important she is to HYDRA. I mean what if she's another super soldier or something? She could be two things very easily - extremely dangerous and also, on a brighter side, a huge bargaining chip." Bruce suggested, met with a nod from Nat before he walked out the room.

... The thin metal handcuffed on either side of the small bed connected y/n’s wrists to it, holding her down in case the girl somehow awoke from her medically-induced coma. The steady beep of the machinery surrounding her continued - echoing through the near-soundproof glass cell, one whole wall completely clear so anyone could watch over her if need be.

Tony had refused to see the girl yet - either too engrossed in what he was working on or so genuinely not concerned about her that he didn't even this she deserved his attention.

Nat looked on longingly, pity in her eyes as she watched the poor girl laying there - motionless, seemingly unbothered.

Footsteps echoed behind her until a figure was stood beside Nat, arms crossed over his muscular chest and a small scowl on his face.

"I can watch her." Steve assures, turning to Nat and giving her a nod.

"Really?" She asked, sceptical about leaving Steve alone with y/n in fear of him acting rashly. He gave he another nod and she sighed, slowly retreating from the corridor.

#steve rogers smut #steve rogers #steve roger fanfic #captain america #chris evans smut #Chris Evans #bucky barnes smut #bucky x you #steve x bucky #bucky barns imagine #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns x y/n #steve Rogers x reader #marvel #marvel smut #marvel fanfic

378 notes · View notes

shelby-love · 3 years

Text

JAY HALSTEAD

The Freeing Bliss of Adrenaline

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warning(s): angsty, happy ending

Author's note: Haven't written for Jay in a while! This will be the last one shot of the year. I've been working on imagines the entire day. Now I'll take some time off since New Year is in less than a hour! p.s. I just added some more spice to Jay’s fight! How’d you like it?

Happy New Near!!!!!

Note: It's important that you guys read my newest Hank Voight one shot to not be confused further into this one. Click here!

"Relax babe I'll be fine," You smiled impishly at Jay and leaned against your newest child. The large two-wheeled beauty was the highlight of your day.

But Jay eyed your Yamaha r6 skeptically. He saw a fair number of criminals die from crashing motorcycles less intimidating than the one behind you. He trusted you to be careful, but it didn't help him sleep at night any better than he did before. The damned matte black motorcycle was the cause of his nightmares.

"Just," He sighed. "Be careful."

You chuckled in adoration and kissed him. The two of you were aesthetically pleasing to see. Especially next to your large motorcycle.

"I'll see you at 7?" He nodded in confirmation and helped you with your helmet.

For effect, he slapped the top of it and didn't leave until you were out of his line of vision.

Jay rolled his eyes when you purred the engine for effect.

***

The motorcycle ride through the tunnel was freeing, especially upon exiting it.

Jay didn't understand how freeing the rides you've had felt. You left your worries behind in the dust whenever you roared the engine. You felt like you could do anything.

Your left hand is working the clutch and the turn signal, your right hand is working the front brake, your right foot is working the rear brake, and your left foot is working the gears up & down. The ride was a physical & emotional pleasure, with a layer of anxiety & adrenaline.

For a moment you wanted to close your eyes. To enjoy the feeling of freedom.

But you snapped out of it, just like every time; Jay's words rung in your mind. Be careful.

You were.

But the car that slammed into you wasn't.

***

The members of firehouse 51 arrived on scene in recod time. People were watching on the side next to their cars; the whole road was blocked with cars.

"I didn't know what to do," The officer on scene told Matt. "The motorcycle's crushing her, but I didn't want to do anything until you guys got here."

"Her?" He asked, surprised to hear it. "It's a good thing you didn't move her." That cop did exactly the right thing by not moving the weight off you until they had facility to adequately treat any injuries.

"She looks experienced," The man sighed with anxiety, looking as if he aged 20 years in a span of 15 minutes. "The motorcycle's a Yamaha r6. Definitely not a beginner's bike."

The smoke that came from the bike was enough to quicken their pace. "All hands-on deck." Matt announced and proceeded to give out orders.

"Otis get the backboard."

"On it."

The rest of the men appeared around you. Severide at the front. It only took him a glance at your custom-made helmet to know that it was you. "Holy shit..."

"What's wrong Severide?" Cruz asked him.

"That's Y/N."

"Who's she?" The team asked him.

"Jay's girlfriend." Severide whispered. "Hey you!"

The cop turned to him, trauma in his eyes. "Call Intelligence."

"Why? This isn't a crime scene."

"That's Jay Halstead's girlfriend on the ground. Get him here now!"

Back where you were, truck was discussing your situation.

"We need to get this bike off her," Gabby said hurriedly.

"81 watch for the hot pipes," The team was working on getting it off you. "This thing's a beast, got to weight 500 lbs." Matt said.

"Okay easy guys," Sylvie had your helmet in her hands. "Possible spinal injury and head trauma."

"Okay let's get this off," All hands were truly on deck as Casey counted down to three. They took your demolished motorcycle and placed it away from you.

"Jay's gonna freak," Severide commented when his eyes fell on your leg. It was completely crushed. Red with blood and completely split in half.

"We need to get the helmet off of her." Sylvie instructed, changing places.

"Alright Mouch."

It was hard for you to decipher the voices because little did they know...

You were conscious under there.

You barely recognized Severide as he barked out commands left and right.

You felt the strap of your custom-made helmet being cut off. The pain that shot through your leg when they secured it had you wincing to the pint your lip started to bleed.

When they took it off it took several seconds for the light to push through to you. You could barely breathe, let alone move your neck to look at the firefighters credited as your lifesavers. Severide cupped the back of your neck and you could only look at him.

"Kelly..." You murmured, tears gathering in your eyes. The times he and Jay had told you to be careful...

You should have listened.

"Y/N don't move. You're okay," He reassured you but you only widened your eyes. "You've been in an accident."

Tears started to fall. "Kelly..."

"No don't speak," He said quietly.

You coughed, "The...other..."

"The other?" He repeated.

"Collision..."

They were losing you. "Hey! Y/N stay with me! What collision?"

A few meters away, Matt and Boden inspected the road and the remains of your bike. "It's dented. Like someone crashed into her."

Kelly's screams brought them back to reality and Matt ran to get you.

He crouched down, his face hovering over you and blocking the sun. "Y/N did someone else crash into you?"

More tears started to fall. "They fell...off."

Boden looked around until he noticed several aggressive lines from tires scattered around the road.

He stepped closer to the edge and looked.

Until he saw.

"This is Battalion Chief 25," He radioed. "We need another ambulance to our location. This was a vehicle collision. I repeat a vehicle collision!"

***

"She still hasn't woken up," Will told his younger brother. "The injuries she sustained were more dangerous than we thought."

"Will what the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"There were some complications with the surgery," Will tried to reason calmly. "She started hemorrhaging. They got the bleeding under control, but they had to put her in a medically induced coma. Hey! Jay wait- "

The detective stormed outside. The ringing in his head was getting louder and the voices around him became a distant callout.

Two arms stopped him from raging out.

He pushed and pulled but the man before him didn't move.

Kelly didn't move.

"Jay man, you need to stop!"

He didn't stop. Not even when Sharon Goodwill came to break them apart herself. Jay pushed through and disappeared outside, not daring to enter a car because of what had happened to you.

Kelly and Will found him in a bar eventually.

They took him home, watched over his place as he showered the alcohol off. They helped him in bed, even pulled the covers over him like you used to.

Jay's body was warm under the covers, but deep within he was anything but.

He missed your presence in the bed, your body against his in the shower…

Even your jokes during dinner.

It wasn't the same without you. He wasn't the same.

But no one understood him.

Only you did.

But you were in a coma. Unreachable.

He hugged your pillow on which traces of your perfume still lingered and cried like a baby.

***

The man rushed at Jay, his fist pulled back by a mile to punch him. Jay ducked but the man growled and started swinging punches at him. It came to a point of giving up for the man. Jay was ducking, backing up, sliding to the side; doing all the things needed to slip right through his fingers. He moved quickly, confident in his abilities.

Jay sidestepped before thrusting his fist against the man's face, reeling the man back so he staggered on his feet. A stray of blood fell out of his mouth, but not even that was stopping Jay from doing more damage.

Whatever force had him possessed, it wasn't letting go.

Jay slammed his fist into the man's face like the impact didn't bother him at all. The man smashed into a wall, fell to his knees, and clutched his face and trembled as his head fell forward. Jay placed a foot on the back of his head and slammed his face on the ground without thinking twice. The man groaned but didn't give up.

He twisted his body under the pressure of Jay's boot and grabbed his ankle.

It really didn't take long before Jay had him completely pinned to the ground again. He started throwing punches to his face until there was nothing but blood coating his hands.

He broke his nose, knocked out his teeth and broke his jaw.

Maybe even more.

He couldn't take a better look because he was taken away.

"What the hell is your problem Halstead!?" His sergeant barked.

"He deserved it." Jay mumbled. It really was his only excuse.

"If you're not fit to work," Voight neared his face to Jay's. "I'll take you off the case."

"You can't."

Hank only shook his head, "I can, and I will. Listen… You're a good kid Halstead and I'm sorry for what happened to Y/N but that's not an excuse for what you just did, and you know it."

"Get yourself together." Was the last thing Hank told him before he disappeared.

His girlfriend and the newest member of Intelligence took pity and came to his side. "She's going to be fine, Jay."

"You don't know that" Jay mumbled.

She only smiled sadly, "I've been there."

"You ride motorcycles?"

She shook her head with a roll of her eyes, "No. I was shot while working for the FBI. Hostage situation. I was one of them. A part of the reason why I joined special operations but that's a story for another day."

She leaned against the car with him, "As I was saying... I was badly injured, Jay. The doctors had to put me in a medically induced coma too."

"How'd you get through it?" He asked. She shone in a completely different light to him now.

"The people that mean the most to me were by my side. For me it was family that helped me push through and fight," she sighed, her hands twined together. "You're her anchor Jay. And if you're not being strong for her... Who will she lean onto? Who will help her push through and fight?"

"Doctors believe hearing stories in parents' and siblings' voices exercises the parts of the brain responsible for long-term memories." She recalled what was once told to her.

"Hey detective! Sergeant Voight is asking for you," A police officer yelled a couple yards away. Voight's girlfriend smiled and Jay could swear that he could see blush taint her cheeks. Jay and you won 20 bucks a few months back thanks to her and her blush.

"Be what your sergeant is to me."

Jay nodded smiling.

Before she was out of his line of vision she turned back and yelled to him, "Maybe take a shower too! I heard that helps!"

He rolled his eyes at her.

***

When he sat at your hospital bed, he didn't know what to say. Every word mattered to him. It's been weeks since the last time you opened your eyes.

And in those weeks a lot of things happened to him.

He hoped that now, after all that had happened, he was good enough of an anchor for you to hold onto.

He grabbed your small hand in his bigger one and kissed the back of it. You looked peaceful. Not your usual bubbly self; the version of yourself that lived for adrenaline and everything life had to offer.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," He started, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. "I didn't know what to do…"

"I had your bike fixed," He informed quietly. "Although I don't think you'll ever want to sit on one again."

He paused. "But then again… You're batshit crazy."

Jay spent a long time talking to you about a million things. He made up for the times he failed to be there with you.

"Detective Halstead?" A nurse had joined him in the room. "Visiting hours are over."

"Oh," Was all he said. "I guess I should get going?"

She smiled sadly.

With a torturous sigh, he leaned down and kissed you. A tiny piece of his heart broke at the lack of response your once warm, now cold lips gave him. "It's not the same without you."

***

Chicago's cold wisps of air hit him without mercy the moment he stepped out. No one really payed him much mind. Occasional glances from girls that were passing by was something he was used to.

He was searching for his car when a figure jumped in front of him.

"Geez Will," Jay sighed. "The hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," He was beaming like a madman.

"Whatever it is you came here to tell me, just say it." He grumbled.

"Y/N labs came back."

Jay stopped in his tracks and turned to face his brother. For the first time in weeks he had hope shining within his irises.

"And?"

"She pulled through. They'll wake her up tomorrow."

Before another word could leave his mouth, Jay hugged him like his life depended on it.

It did in a way.

He broke down at the parking lot in the arms of his brother having gotten the best news ever.

"Let's get you home bro. You'll see Y/N tomorrow."

Tags: @lorenakaspersen @fofisstilinski @short-potato @miranda0102 @saracabbage

Let me know if you want to be added to my tag list (pinned post on my profile)!

MASTERLIST

#chicago fire #chicago fire fanfiction #chicago fire imagine #chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd x reader #jay halstead masterlist #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead #Jay Halstead one shot

307 notes · View notes

jaggedlittleteacup · 3 years

Text

Three Acts

Note: @call-me-moo I hope you like this one!

Act One

My ears are still ringing as my sluggish brain struggles to comprehend what has just occurred. A gunshot, an exceedingly loud one at that, and a smoking gun held aloft by none other than Mary Morstan-Watson.

How can it be Mary? John...but...John...this is impossible...Mary is harmless, Mary is sweet, Mary is…

...A liar.

Magnussen lies dead on the floor, a neat bullet hole between his eyes, a steady trickle of blood leaking onto the grey carpet. His glasses are askew, but there’s no expression of any sort of astonishment or surprise on his face. In fact, there’s no evidence that it was not an entirely planned execution, and yet…there is no way he could have predicted this, known about this. Yet his dull eyes seem to hold a secret knowingly above my head.

No, no, no, no- this is all wrong.

“M...Mary…? What the hell…?” I whisper, a million thoughts racing through my head. This wasn’t possible.

Mary was…Mary was good, wasn’t she…?

Mary sighs and clicks her tongue as she casually reloads her weapon. Her blonde hair is tucked beneath a black cap, and every trace of friendliness and cheer is gone from her icy, stone-like gaze. It hardly even looks like the woman John had wedded only a year prior…

Please, this is a nightmare, let me wake up…

“You have questions,” Mary says softly, her eyes softening for a moment as she flashes an uncertain smile. For a moment, I catch a glimpse of the old Mary- but that’s all it is, a glimpse.

Understatement of the century.

I nod, dazed, as I stare at her. “Mary, whatever he has on you...I can…”

I can do what, exactly? Wave my magic wand and make whatever she’s done- whoever she’s killed- go away?

She seems to read my mind and her smile quickly disappears. “You can’t do anything, Sherlock,” she murmurs, a pang of regret heavy in her voice.

He trusted her.

I try to reason with her, to appeal to her senses. It’s what John would want. “Please, I can, just...put the gun down. We’ll figure something out, John is in the other room-“

Mary is a liar.

“Actually...one thing. Please, will you do this for me?” Her tone is pleading, desperate. I almost feel sympathetic.

Liar.

I nod again, feeling a vague sense of alarm and wariness, but I don’t move.

Liarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliarliar-

She raises her gun. “Tell Jim Moriarty I said hi.”

I feel the bullet before I can even react. It lodges in the cavity of my chest. Warm, sticky blood soaks my white shirt. I fall backwards, I know that’s what I’m supposed to do. It seems like everything’s in slow motion- it must be, I can see it all happening so slowly, every minute detail…

Think, don’t go into shock, focus, remember-

Female window-cleaner, her 3K diamond ring scratched the corner, but wasn’t pulled away quickly and left a long scratch, so clearly engaged to someone she doesn’t care too much about- cheating with the IT man-

Liar. She’s a liar.

Don’t go into shock, think.

Janitor has a cane- strange for someone who’s on his feet all the time. It’s a scam to claim disability- the indents by the door shows that he comes in with a cane, looks around to check if someone’s there, and drops it by the front door.

Mary is...a liar. She lied about everything. She fooled John, she fooled Mrs. Hudson, she fooled me.

Think. Think. Think.

Magnussen. Magnussen was killed by someone- no, not someone, Mary- he knew. Or thought he knew. Obviously, she pretended to be a friend of Janine’s, but it was a ploy to gain access to Magnussen. She used her the same as I did. Does that mean I’m just as bad?

No, no, focus.

She set out to kill me. Does she love John?

It’s raining, it’s pouring…

Focus!

Why did she kill Magnussen?!

...Sherlock...is boring…

Stop, just focus!

Why did she need Magnussen dead?! She’s pregnant!

Isn’t she?

...I’m laughing...I’m crying…

No, no, no, NO, NO!

...Sherlock...is dying…

John...I don’t...want...to die...

I gasp for air like a drowning man. John is next to me, desperately trying to plug the wound with his violently trembling fingers. It isn’t working.

I’m dying, Mary killed me, I know it. I’m bleeding out and he can’t stop it. I can only hope that someone can stop Mary before she kills John…

“Sherlock? Sherlock, stay with me. I’ve called an ambulance, just...please…” His voice breaks and I see tears spilling from the corners of his eyes. “Stay with me. Keep breathing...I can’t...not again…”

Mary...where is Mary…?

“M...Mary…” I breathe, my chest burning from the sheer effort. My eyes nearly roll back in my head.

“Mary’s okay, she’s at the flat.” He lets out a laugh that sounds more like a choked sob. “Now’s the time you want to think of my fiancée?”

No...he doesn’t understand...John, please…

“M-Mary…” I try again, weaker than before. “M-Mary...k-killed…”

“No, Sherlock…” John’s mouth is pressed tightly in a thin line. His hands are shaking violently, especially the left one, I realise almost drunkenly. “Mary’s alive. Don’t worry, just...Christ! Please, don’t go to sleep…”

Suddenly, I can’t die. I’m reminded of what I asked John the very first day we met. The drug bust. The murder. Everything.

“If you were dying, if you’d been murdered...in your very last few seconds, what would you say?”

“‘Please, God, let me live.’”

“Oh, use your imagination!”

“I don’t have to.”

I’m flatlining. If there is a God, They’re not listening.

Murder. Murder. Murder.

A steady pulse. Wasted time.

I am going to die.

Things are getting so dim...dull...boring...

Not before I...save John. Please...I have to...stop Mary…

I can vaguely feel something- someone?- shaking me, but it feels like a numb rattle, something I’m witnessing rather than feeling firsthand. “Sherlock? Sherlock, no, stay with me!’

My body doesn’t want to work anymore. I can’t trust transportation. I never could. John…he laughed when I had to take the Tube instead of a cab…

Please…

“SHERLOCK!”

John’s there...but he’s not…

“Please, PLEASE!”

It’s warm, but I’m cold…

“I CAN’T LOSE YOU AGAIN!”

My heart beats for you…

“Sherlock, you can’t...Please...stop this…”

...soon...it will beat...no longer…

“Stop it!”

Somehow, I thought dying would hurt more. It feels more like a gentle haze, sliding into a calming and endless sleep. Inviting, almost. I feel my eyes involuntarily slipping shut. I’m so exhausted.

Just a few minutes…a few minutes wouldn’t hurt, right…?

Everything is fairly dark, but that’s certainly expected. Perhaps Death has finally caught up to me. I couldn’t run forever, just like the...merchant…

Samarra…

Mycroft was wrong. This doesn’t hurt.

...Only everyone else…

They can wait. I just need a few minutes of rest.

“Sherlock...Sherlock…”

What’s Mary doing here…?

“I’m in your head, Sherlock,” Mary whispers, her voice a low hum, a grim smile on her unusually serene face. She’s in her wedding dress, but she looks...dangerous. A gun is in her normally gentle hands. She seems so focused…intense in a way I could never have imagined…

Veiled intentions…

“I am going to kill John Watson,” she says calmly. “You need to stop dying before I shoot him.”

I...can’t…

Mary looks oddly disappointed. “He loves you, you know? Probably more than me, if we’re being honest. I never did like competition. It’s a shame...I really liked you, Sherlock. You were so fun, and so, so smart.” She raises her gun with a deep sigh and points it directly at my heart.

Mary...don’t…

“Just a bullet,” she murmurs sweetly, “and then we’ll be all clear. No more John…”

My body is failing. It has to be. I’m choking. I’m in anguish. There’s something in my throat, strangling me, stealing my air, and I can’t breathe-

Mary pulls the trigger with a self-assured chuckle. It hurts significantly more than it did before...like a powerful electric shock coursing through my body- It feels like my brain is crumbling around me, as though my very soul is convulsing in agony.

“I owe you a fall, Sherlock…”

“Clear!”

“I...owe...you.”

“Clear!”

I need to save John Watson.

The monitor beeps loudly. I can breathe again. Mary still looks disappointed, but she’s rapidly fading, fading far from my line of sight. I see faces, worried, pressing down firmly on my wounded chest, telling me I’m lucky to be alive. That it’s all right.

It’s not.

“John…” I say hoarsely, wishing he were beside me. I don’t want to be alone.

Once the shock subsides, my eyes slide shut and the wail of the ambulance vanishes, along with all of my worries…

Act Two linked below:

https://benaddicted-linfanuel.tumblr.com/post/656968775195934720/three-acts

#bbc #sherlock holmes #john watson #sherlock #jim moriarty #johnlock #post reichenbach #the fall #fanfic #sherlock fanfic #mary morstan #Mary isn’t a good guy #assassin Mary

53 notes · View notes

dianapana · 3 years

Text

SH Day 4- Childhood Connection

Modern AU, OOC

@sasuhinamonth

There are friendships I miss, but not enough for me to reach out first. My reluctance to try and get back in touch with these people is mostly because what I miss most isn’t the person but the memories, specific time points in my past. I don’t want a new friendship with a changed old friend, I want to relieve over and over again the same few blissful events from the old friendship with a precise past-variation of said person. I want to go back to those moments, for they are instances in which I felt at peace, in which I felt true and pure happiness and freedom.

I miss walking down the riverbank holding in my hand the worn-out leather dog leash of an old Huskey that I don’t even own while its owner walks alongside me, maybe a step or two in front, I miss the silence of the walks and the way in which I felt totally comfortable with simply watching the back of his head, I miss thinking that I was exactly where I was meant to be, that there was no place I’d rather be but next to him in utter silence.

I miss being over at his house laughing so hard at random things that weren’t even meant to be funny. If I close my eyes, I can see this particular moment in which he asked me something while I was drinking and to me, that was the funniest thing ever so I sprayed him all over with soda and spit which led to another uncontrolled fit of giggles, I miss crying and my stomach hurting from laughing too much, I miss my throat being sore after spending a day with him indoors.

I miss laying down on an old uncomfortable sofa in his grandparent’s basement, yet feeling like that was heaven. I miss looking up from that spot on the sofa and seeing his face right above me, giving me a cocky smirk that was meant to be cool but to me looked goofy. I miss his eyes that always lit up whenever we hung out, I miss his hand when he held mine after punching another kid for calling me names, I miss so many parts of him and our friendship, yet I do not miss him, I cannot. Despite all of the lovely moments in which he made me feel like I belonged, his person always brings with him unfortunate memories as well, memories dark enough to outweigh the good ones, dark enough to make it impossible for me to utter or even think his name.

He may represent my childhood, but he also is a constant reminder of my childhood’s tragic end.

I try to change my train of thoughts; however, I know that whenever his image pops up into my brain, it likes to stick around for a while, almost like it’s making up for lost time since I rarely think of him, I haven’t thought of him for almost 2 years until today. I close my eyes and try to drift to sleep, I know I’ll dream of him and the accident because I always do in these cases, I know I’ll wake up shaken and distressed. I can feel my anxiety rising just thinking about it.

-----

I’m so glad school is over, I liked Iruka sensei but I am excited about highs school, but before that, I’m more excited for the summer. Hmm, maybe I should have brought my backpack and put the bentos in it, I hope the pickles won’t go bad because of the heat until I reach Sasuke’s house. Should I run? But I’m wearing new sandals and I don’t want to dirty them. I chose to wear my new sunflower dress too, mom bought it for me and I think it’s pretty I wanted to show it to Sasuke, I hope he’ll like it. I wonder what we’ll do after we eat today? Does Dai need a walk? I think it’s too hot for him to be out though, so he might be stuck in the house until they take him to Itachi’s place. I hope dad lets me go with them this year to Itachi’s. The summer there is much cooler because he lives in the middle of a forest. I’m scared of bugs but Sasuke will be there so that’s ok. I wonder if he saw the last episode of Avatar, I like Zuko he reminds me of him at times, I maybe shouldn’t say that, he might be embarrassed. Should I run after all? No, no I’m almost there, I hope he’s awake I didn’t think to call before I left, if he’s not awake I can just wait and play with Dai. I think that-

“HINATA!” I look up and Sasuke is running towards me, he’s wearing fully black, I wonder if he’s not dying from the sun. If he were a pickle, he would have surely gone bad.

“Hey, I was just coming over to yours,” I say as he gets nearer, I didn’t notice when he first called out to me, but he looks panicked and that makes me panic, I can’t even ask what’s the matter, because he takes hold of my arm and continues running. I let out a surprised noise when the bentos fall from my grip, yet Sasuke doesn’t stop. All thoughts about whether i should run or not in my new sandals are out the window, I try to look at his face but he’s two steps ahead of me and I can only see half of his face, but he looks…distressed. I call his name a few times but he ignores me.

“S-SASUKE….W-WHAT’S WRONG?” I shout trying to get his attention. I still get no answer and my focus is on his face so I don’t see a small rock in the road and I trip over it, the belt on one of my sandals snaps and I fall and skin my knees and palm, my fall makes Sasuke stop for a moment but he continues running. I feel betrayed, he didn’t help me up, he didn’t ask if I was fine. The fall hurt and the damage done to my feelings make me cry, but Sasuke keeps running away and I want to know what happened. I get back up and continue running with one foot bare onto the hot asphalt. I try again to scream for him but he doesn’t turn around at all.

My eyes are filled with tears and I can’t see well, my knees and palm are bleeding and my foot hurts from the heat and all the rocks and bumps, that’s when it happens. One moment I’m on the street running and the next I’m flying, it’s an odd sensation, but soon gravitation comes back and I’m on the ground. That’s when it all starts to hurt and when I realize what had happened, I was hit by a car. The images turn blurry, I think I hear someone screaming, but all I see is Sasuke still running away, is that true? Is it a hallucination? I cannot tell. I close my eyes and moments later I open them again, only to find myself in a hospital. Two weeks passed, thankfully all I got from the accident were a contusion, a broken arm and an injury on my left knee which they had already done surgery on while I was in a medication-induced coma.

The image changes, the dream is no longer in the first person, I am merely a spirit watching the action unfold. Time speeds up and days go by in an instant, people come and go, they talk to the small version of myself and wish her a smooth recovery, my whole class comes to see me once. In the myriad of people, there’s one missing.

“Where’s Sasuke?” my past self’s meek voice seems to boom and echo with this question.

“He left the day of your accident, what a jerk” Neji mumbles. I can see the moment my little heart breaks and that’s when the first person pov returns.

I feel the world's collapsing onto me, the feeling of concern and betrayal had been equal when he left me on the ground after my fall, but now…I was drowning in betrayal. He left me alone on the street to die. He didn’t care, I loved him and he didn’t care.

That was the tragic ending of my first love, I cried for weeks to come. People said I changed after the accident. It wasn’t the accident that changed me, it was him, he utterly destroyed all of me at the young age of 14.

#sasuhinamonth #sasuhina #sasuhina fanfic #shmonth #shmonth2021 #day4 #sasuke #hinata #susake uchiha #hinata hyuuga #uchiha #hyuuga #dia story #diawrites

24 notes · View notes

fan4196 · 3 years

Text

The truth

Hey everyone, here's another one. Hope you like it. Enjoy!

Big thank you again @angry-slytherin :)

"Hey. How are you?" Jo asks with a smile under her mask as she walks into Mer's room.

"Let's say better. Not great, but ok for someone who survived covid." Mer answers, looking tired over her own mask.

"You really scared us there. I'm happy you're better again. Your kids missed you so much." Jo nods with a toothless smile as she sits down on the chair beside the hospital bed.

"You talked to them?" Meredith asks surprised, as she watches her friend sit down.

"Yeah, I got my second shot the other day, which Link immediately used to talk me into babysitting Scout, and your kids happen to live in the same house." She says with a laugh.

"Amelia and Link really left you alone with four kids?" Mer immediately asks surprised.

"Yup. They are taking advantage of my new found love for tiny humans." She laughs, watching Meredith closely as she leaves this little hint about her intent now that Mer is fully conscious.

"Oh I heard you when you talked to me about that. You know Cristina and I used to make fun of Alex and the vagina squad back when we where interns. You really wanna join the pink scubs?" The soft tone and little smile on Mer's face calm Jo down. Knowing that Mer wasn't going to talk her out of it or judge her in any way let her nervous heart slow down.

"Yeah." Jo smiles. "I need some joy in my live and I think the vagina squad will bring me that."

"I'm happy for you, if that's what you want, even though I think that you'll miss the OR and all the cool surgeries with in a week." The older one says with a laugh.

"We'll see." Jo smiles.

It's silent in the room for a few seconds until Mer starts with a completely different topic, that Jo wasn't quite ready for.

"I think you should call Alex," the blonde breaks the silence, this time in a way more serious tone.

"What?"

"You should call him." She nods, trying to show the brunette her seriousness.

"Do you- Did Levi tell you-"

"Levi? What does Schmitt have to do with- no. I guess I have to start from the beginning." Mer starts, talking about her dreams. How she was able to see her loved once on a beach; talking to them.

"So you're telling me, that you saw people on a beach while you where sleeping? Like a dream?" Jo asks more confused than ever, not quite getting what her former mentor was trying to tell her.

"Yeah, well it felt stronger than a dream; more real than normal dreams. I was able to see people; talk to them, even touch some of them. Even before they put me on the vent I saw Derek and George." Mer tried to explain the experience she couldn't quite understand herself.

"But this time you saw Izzie?"

"Yeah and she told me that she died five years ago and that she never had kids; she never used the eggs. I know it may sound crazy and I don't expect you to believe me but what if it's true? What if Izzie's really dead? I've been near to death before, I saw Denny Duquette and that bomb guy, even my dog and mother. And they are indeed dead. So what if Alex left for whatever stupid, dump ass reason he thought was worth leaving us and is not with Izzie or his kids. Wouldn't you want to know if he left because he developed schizophrenia and didn't want to burden you with it?" Meredith asks, watching Jo closely, knowing that the Alex topic is still a really sore point for her.

"You are right. It really sounds crazy."

Jo immediately answers, defensive, putting her walls up as soon as she heard her ex-husbands name. And as quick as her mood changed she gets up and is about to leave and escape the situation she really can't be in, when something falls out of her lap coat pocket.

"Jo wait! I'm sorry- Jo!" Mer tries to scream after her, but the brunette is out of the room faster than Mer is able to hold her back.

As Meredith falls back in her pillow she sees Levi walking by.

"Schmitt! Get in here. Pick that up for me." She calls him before he's passed by.

Happy but also intimated by the big Meredith Grey he of course does what she wants and picks up the upside down white square from the floor, handing it to his superior.

"Is that yours?" He asks a little surprised as he sees that the paper turns out to be an ultrasound picture.

"No- It's Jo's." Mer answers just as surprised as the resident as she looks at it closer.

"Oh so you know? Thank god, I'm so happy that I'm not the only one anymore that knows about this. I'm actually a little concerned about her. Her morning sickness is really bad. It's more like an all day sickness and her mood swings- not fun. I bought the wrong cream cheese the other day-"

"Schmitt! Shut up! I didn't know until now." She shuts him up, looking up from the picture to throw him a look.

"Oh."

"Yeah oh. Now get me my phone, I need to make a call." She orders, holding her hand out while she's looking at the ultrasound picture again.

"Hello?"

"Ahm hi. Is this Alex Karevs phone?" Meredith asks confused as a female voice she never heard before greets her from the other side of the call.

"Yes, is it." The woman on Alex's phone answeres friendly. A little to friendly and casual for Mer's liking.

"Then who are you?" She tries to find out who the hell is currently speaking to her.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I heard it ringing from the kitchen and just picked it up. Alex isn't here, he's at the park with the kids-"

"That's not answering my question. Who are you?" Mer interrupts, before the female can keep going. Slowly but surely the mood of the blonde is shifting.

"Well, who are you?" The woman on Alex phone asks back, also slowly losing the friendliness she had just two minutes ago.

"Oh no, I'm not playing this game. Who are you and what are you doing on my friend's phone." Mer starts, ready to scream if this woman won't finally tell her what she wants to know.

"Good. I'm not playing this game either so-"

The woman gets interrupt mid sentence. You can hear rustling and arguing through the phone until the voice Mer wanted to hear in the first place answers.

"Hello?"

"Alex?" She asks, even though she recognized his voice right away.

"Mer?" He asks back, rather surprised, but happy.

"Where the hell are you? Who was that woman? Do you have kids? I know your not in Kansas, Alex. Izzie is dead. What the hell is going on?" She starts shooting off questions without letting him answer.

"Wow, Mer chill-"

"Chill? I'm not going to chill, asshole. You better tell me that the hell is going on-" She needs to stop mid sentence as a wave of coughing overcomes her; an aftereffect she still has from COVID.

"Mer are you ok?" Alex immediately asks concerned.

"No I'm not ok. I almost died of COVID, I was in an induced coma and could have really needed the person on my emergency contact to pick up his stupid phone, to decide what to do next when I wasn't able to." She starts calling frustrated.

"Fuck- I'm so sorry, Mer-"

"Yeah, you better be. Now answer my questions." She comes back to the original topic why she called.

"Ok- I'm not in Kansas. I'm not with Izzie, I'm with my sister, Amber and her kids. She's pregnant and her husband is trapped in Europe because of Covid. I'm helping her with the house and the kids." He starts explaining.

"But there was no Covid when you left-"

"I know. I came here because my brother- well he tried to kill himself. His schizophrenia got worse, Mer. He was not taking his medication, he- ahm he hurt several people and raped three nurses in the facility he was staying in. They put him into prision, where he tried to kill himself and now he's at the hospital where no one's allowed to visit him because of Covid. My mom couldn't handle all the paperwork without interrupting her routine and Amber is seven months pregnant and has two little kids, I didn't want her to do everything." He adds to his story, letting go a little sigh as he finishes.

"I'm sorry to hear that. But why the hell did you feel the need to leave? Why lying to us and sending those stupid letters, you could have just talked to us. We would have helped you-"

"That's the point, I don't want help. This is my family, you had enough family crap for a lifetime and Jo-"

"She would have helped you. You know damn well that she would have gone with you in a heartbeat. She married you, so it's her family too." Mer adds.

"I couldn't- She went through so much crap last year and she was just doing fine again- I couldn't bring her here, hearing that my brother raped three women- I- I couldn't do that to her. She deserves to be happy-"

"She's not, Alex. She's everything but not happy and it's your fault. You know that Jo's probably the strongest woman we know. Yes she went through a lot of crap and yes she just overcome depression, but you also know that she loved you with everything she had. This letter broke her, Alex. She's not showing it, but she's broken. She's working nonstop, even though she's-" She takes a pause before she says too much, then continues. "Abandoning her was worse than just telling her the truth, trust me."

"Even though she's what? Mer what is it? Is she ok?" Alex immediately asks, knowing that Mer's little pause and change of topic was supposed to distracte him from what she almost said.

"It's not my place to tell you, Alex. You should probably call her." Mer tries to talk her out of it, but she knows her friend way too good. When Jo's the topic Alex wants to know everything.

"Mer, what? Tell me, damn it!"

"Alex-"

"Tell me!" He shouts, immediately sorry, but he's so frustrated right now. He has to know that Jo's fine, otherwise- he doesn't even wanna think about it.

"She's pregnant." Mer answers, regretting it the second it comes out of her mouth. It's not her place to tell him.

"What-"

"Before you say anything, I already regret telling you. It's none of my business and actually you don't deserve to know it. I'm sorry but I'm on Jo's side. When you left her, you left me too and I hate you for that. So you are not gonna call her now and scream at her for not telling you, you hear me? If she doesn't wanna tell you, she has every right for doing so, alright? You are not her husband anymore." Mer finishes, hearing the silence on the other side.

"I know." He agrees after a few seconds, before he continues. "Is it- is it mine?"

"The baby? I have no idea, Alex. I just found out an hour ago. An ultrasound picture fell out of her lab coat when she left my room, so I don't know. I heard some rumors- but nevermind." Again immediately regretting that she said too much.

"Rumors? What rumors?" He asks.

"You don't wanna know Alex-"

"Tell me!" He interrupts her again.

"She ahm- I heard rumors that she and Jackson-"

"What?" He stops her. His head is spinning and his heart immediately starts to hurt a little. Even though he knows that he has actually no right to feel like this.

"Alex, you need to calm down. She is not your wife anymore! You are the one that divorced her! I heard that they had a friend with benefits thing going but listen the baby on the ultrasound looks way to big for it to be Jackson's, ok? If you ask me it looks like five maybe six month-"

"Fuck. I left my pregnant wife-" Everything comes crushing down on Alex in that moment and he can't hold his tears back any longer. He really thought he did what was best for everyone.

"Alex are you crying?" Mer asks carefully after a few seconds listening to the silence on the phone.

"Yes I am, because I'm so fucking dumb- I abandoned the love of my life that is carrying my baby- during a freaking pandemic. She probably had the worst morning sicknesses and- god she always told me how scared she is to become a mom but that she feels safe with me by her side- and now I'm not. Fuck- I really didn't change much since our intern year, I'm still a freaking asshole."

"Alex no; you changed a lot. You became an amazing peds surgeon, you've grown so much during the years I've known you. You became an awesome person, my person and you were an amazing husband. But I have to agree, you are a little asshole. Now you hang up, you go outside take some deep breaths, throw a few things against a tree or whatever and then you man up and call Jo. She deserves the truth Alex especially when she's pregnant with your child." Meredith tries to convince him, not knowing what else to say.

"Thanks Mer." He answers quietly.

"Sure."

"I promise I'll visit you as soon as I can, ok? I'm sorry." Alex apologizes again, drying his tears with his sleeve.

"It's ok, asshole. The kids miss you." She laughs through the phone, trying to make him laugh too.

"I miss them too and I miss you. Thank you for calling Mer."

"Sure. Please promise me not to scream at Jo, ok? And please let her tell you that she's pregnant, she'll kill me if she hears that I told you."

"I promise." He answers. "Bye Mer."

"Bye."

After he did what Mer told him, Alex is now sitting on his sister's front porch, phone in his hand, fighting with himself, wondering if he should really call. Jo went through so much already because of him, she doesn't deserve any more pain. Maybe he should just leave her thinking that he's in Kansas. But on the other side, he could never live with the knowledge that she's having his child on her own. Sure he knows that she has a whole damn village at the hospital and they will support her, but they shouldn't. It's his child and he should be the one taking care of them, his baby and Jo.

So before he can think about it any further he's already dialing Jo's number. With his phone on his ear he stands up from the chair on Amber's front porch and starts walking circles in the front yard, while it's ringing.

"Hi this is Doctor Josephine Wilson, please leave a message."

Hearing her voice after almost five month for the first time again gives Alex chills, even though it's just her voicemail message it immediately calms him a little bit. The last thing he heard from her was her crying on his voicemail, begging him to call her. This message broke his heart into a million little peaces, but he wasn't able to answer her because he knew that he would have hopped on the next plane home in a heartbeat. But his family here needed him.

Now he's the one, getting send straight to her voicemail, which he totally understands.

"Hi. It's me, Alex. Jo, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know sorry doesn't fix anything and I understand that you probably never wanna talk to me again. But please just listen. I'm not in Kansas, I'm not with Izzie nor any twins. I'm in Iowa. I'm with Amber and her kids. She's pregnant and her husband is stuck in Europe due to Covid. I originally got here because Aaron- he- he was not taking his meds and tried to hurt himself. He's in the hospital now. I couldn't let my mom or Amber handle this, I just- I'm sorry I just left like this. I never wanted to hurt you, I just didn't want you to get wrapped into my family crap again. You didn't deserve that after you just pulled yourself out of this dark hole. I wanted to protect you, but I guess I just hurt you more- I never wanted to leave you and I sure as hell never wanted you to not be my wife. I married you because you're the most incredible woman I've ever met. I guess I never told you, but you Josephine are the strongest and most amazing woman on this planet and I never deserved you or your pure, loving heart. I'm so incredibly sorry- for everything." He takes a deep breath, wiping away the tears that started streaming down his face again as soon as he started talking. "Please call me. I love you Jo and I will never stop. I'm sorry. Bye."

It's been two days now since Alex left the voicemail and he still didn't get an answer.

He called Mer again but she didn't know anything about Jo either, so he guesses he really fucked it up this time and he couldn't even be mad at her. It's his own fault-

"Uncle Alex, there's someone at the door for you."

Alex got ripped out of his thoughts by his nieces little voice. He quickly smiles at the blonde little girl and gets up from the couch.

He rounds the corner of the living room and freezes as soon as he sees the visitor standing beside his sister on the front porch.

Even though he can't see her whole face, because it's covered with a purple mask, he knows that she's smiling while she's talking to Amber. Her eyes are sparkling as she takes her few from Amber and locks eyes with him.

Slowly, not knowing if everything was just a dream or if this was really happening, his feet carry him towards the front door, past Amber, pulling Jo into a tight hug. He can fell her immediately relaxing in his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her head deep in his shirt. He tries to pull her closer but the little bumb in between them won't let him.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, not making any move to let her go anytime soon.

"Shut up." She answers, which makes him laugh.

They stay like this for a few more minutes until one of Alex's hand finds his way from her hip to the bump in between them. Jo loses her grip around his neck a little without letting completely go, to look him in the eyes. She doesn't need to say anything, they both know exactly what the other one wants to say.

"I would really like to kiss you." Alex whisperes, afraid to scare her away by saying it to loud.

"Why aren't you." She smiles mischievously through her eyes, knowing exactly why he can't kiss her.

"You're wearing a mask." He answers, even though he knows she is playing with him.

"Well lucky you I'm vaccinated plus I got tested at the airport and brought this for you." She pulls a white bag out of her purse and hands it to Alex. "If it's negative you can take it off of me and kiss me." She smiles, as Alex grabs the Covid test and harshly unwraps it.

#jolex #fan4196 #fanfic #fanfiction #jo x alex #grey's fanfic #alex #alex karev #grey's #grey's anatomy #jo #jo wilson #jo karev

35 notes · View notes

ilguna · 3 years

Text

Redamancy - Chapter Nine (f.o)

summary: it’s time to forgive and repair.

warnings; swearing, brief mention of murder.

wc; 8.9k

NOTES; I give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

This morning, you’re floating around the room. There’s an impossible grin on your face as you move to get ready today, not even mad over the fact that you didn’t get much sleep last night. It’s the anticipation of seeing your tribute again--now a victor! You’ve always pictured the moment where you finally get to see your tribute again after their big win, and it’s finally happened.

Five years of trial and error, and you’ve finally found a solution. It doesn’t matter that it’s been standing in front of you the entire time, all that matters is that you made it. You figured out what you need to do in your future years. In no time, you’ll be just as infamous as Districts One and Two. No more caskets, you’ll finally be able to start sleeping easy.

What you wear today doesn’t have to be anything specially fancy. You settle for a pair of black jeans and dark grey shirt. You kick the black tennis shoes out of the closet and into the middle of your room. You drop the clothes onto the bed, but bring the black underwear into the bathroom with you.

You turn on the shower, and strip yourself naked. The last time anyone has seen Annie was a week and a half ago, inside of the arena. Since then, you only get updates on her. Mostly the injuries she sustained, and fixing the blemishes that might have appeared on her skin since being inside of the arena. You went ahead and approved the full-body polish, mostly because you’re not sure if she can handle seeing the scars as reminders.

It’s less of the fact that she might find them ugly and will want them covered up later, and more of the fact that she literally will not be able to handle seeing them. Along with all the other testing and evaluating that they’ve been doing over the last week and a half, they’ve also been frequently checking her mental health. She’s pretty drugged each time they ‘wake her up’ from her medically-induced coma, but from what they can tell, it’s not good.

Annie’s time in the arena has left her damaged. Which is okay, because that has happened to all the victors that you’ve met so far. This will be the first time you’ve seen it more severely, and you’ll just have to take a different approach with it. You’ve already decided that she won’t be replacing you in the mentor program, or helping you, Anchor, and Finnick in the boarding school. At least, not until you’re sure that she can handle it.

For now, she’s a delicate flower, and needs to be handled as such.

You shower, scrubbing yourself clean. The sugary smell of the body wash fills the air, and you find yourself taking in deep breaths through your nose to savor the sweetness. Even if it’s unintentional, the Capitol is exceptional at selling products to you. How can you resist the body scrub that makes you smell like ice cream? You can’t.

You have time before you need to be out in the dining room to meet Finnick to go down to Annie. So, you sit on the floor of the shower, hair out of reach of the water to make sure that you won’t have to dry it, and let the warm water soothe you. Every now and then, you’ll turn it hotter, or colder, bouncing back and forth until your stomach is growling and you can’t put it off any longer.

You dry yourself with a soft towel, eyes on yourself in the mirror. You can’t really help it when you turn to see the scar on your back. A part of you is sad that you couldn’t even keep one thing for Annie. A scar, a cracked tooth, some abnormality. Something on her body that would tell everyone, when shown, that she won the Hunger Games and kept an injury as a souvenir. Even after everything that she’s gone through.

It would be a sign of strength, you think.

You pull on the black underwear, and leave the bathroom to get dressed in your room, since that’s where you left your clothes. The moment you step into the doorway, you can see Finnick sitting on the chair in the corner. He stares blankly at you for a moment, before he slowly turns a red color.

“I should’ve knocked.” He covers his eyes with one hand, but does the little peek thing through his fingers as a joke.

Of course, the one time you don’t lock your bedroom door before you go to take a shower, someone comes in. And of course, the first person that does it by accident is Finnick.

You give him a face before pulling on your jeans, “You need something?”

“Just came in to check on you, you’ve been showering for a while now.” he says, there’s a smile hinting at the corner of his lips.

“And you didn’t knock?” you pull on your shirt next, and reach for a pair of socks, when you realize that you didn’t set any out by accident. This starts your next hunt.

“I did, actually, a couple of times. Elysia got tired of the sound so she told me to sit and wait or give up altogether.” Finnick shrugs, “We’re both adults here, so I thought that you wouldn’t be too bothered if I sat in here.”

“Seems like an innocent enough excuse.” you grin, he laughs a little bit to himself, “What are you planning?”

“Obviously I was hoping that you’d walk out naked.”

You roll your eyes, “You’re a little late for that.”

You open the top drawer of the dresser to find that there’s only one pair of socks, which means that you’re going to have to wear this pair tomorrow. You’ll only be in the Capitol today and tomorrow, after that you’re going to be going home. Unfortunately, none of you are going to have a minute to think to yourselves as soon as Annie’s awake.

You pull on the socks, and then the shoes. Together, you and Finnick meet Elysia in the dining room. She’s wearing a particular green color that you vaguely remember her wearing after you won your games. It’s a different shade, a pea green color. It’s not an awful color on her, but it’s the color itself that looks gross. It seems that all of the times you’ve had to change Alyssum’s diaper has finally gotten to you.

“You look like you’re wearing baby shit.” you say, going down the steps.

Elysia’s neck practically breaks from how hard she turns to look at you, “What?”

“The color, it’s putrid.” you sit in a chair. Finnick sits next to you, laughing.

She looks down at what she’s wearing, a frown appearing on her face, and then she looks back at you, “You’re not kidding.”

“It’s an ugly color.” Finnick agrees, “It’s a good thing that you’re changing later.”

“The both of you are insufferable.” She sighs, but going back to drinking her coffee, “I suppose I should thank you for being honest.”

“You’re welcome.” You say, piling the food onto your plate.

“Just keeping you on your toes.”

It’s pancakes, and spread all over the table, is a variety of toppers. Different types of syrups, like caramel, fudge and maple are offered. Next is the sweets, like chocolate chips and toffee. Or there’s the fruits, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, everything you could possibly imagine. Which is quite a difference from the day you were only allowed to have fruits.

You grab what seems good, keeping in mind that you’ll be able to try as many combinations as you want to. You start with the fruits, and then the sweets, and end with the syrups, since they’re pretty irreversible. You could always ask for a new plate, or you can just be smart and wait until the end to try syrups.

Anyway, Finnick seems to have the same thought process that you do. Maybe he’s finally realized that this will be the last breakfast you eat. As tomorrow you’ll probably be eating brunch, or lunch altogether from how late you’ll be getting up. The final interview will be conducted at two tomorrow, you’ve already been given the schedule. And since the Victory Banquet that will take place tonight, lasts until early morning, you’ll all be sleeping in past breakfast.

The avoxes take their time clearing the table, since you three are in no hurry to leave. There’s still half an hour to burn before you should even think to start making your way downstairs. There’s no set time that Annie will be awake, but they’ll let her out of the room at a certain time. When they’re sure that the drugs have worn off and that she won’t hurt herself, or others.

And since her current mental state is a little questionable, she’s been met with quite a few exceptions from the gamemakers and President Snow, himself. You remember having to put on your arena outfit after you woke up in the medical room. It wasn’t a pleasant sight after everything that you’d been through. The navy blue color has almost permanently been ruined for you because of it.

If it was hard for you, there’s no telling what Annie might think of it. So, she’ll be wearing sweatpants and a shirt. The accommodations don’t really stop there, they’ll continue on from today, to tonight, to tomorrow afternoon, District Four, all the way until after her Victory Tour. Annie is in no state to be constantly hounded by cameras as soon as she gets home. Same thing goes for coming face to face with the families of the dead tributes.

Annie’s lucky that she was born and fought for the district she’s in currently, otherwise there’s no telling what other mentors would have made her do. Look strong-minded, as if the games didn’t affect her at all. Pretend as though killing two tributes isn’t detrimental all by itself. Act like Marsh never meant a thing to her, like he was just garbage to be thrown away.

No, you and Finnick know the value of human life. You know that volunteering takes a willpower that you will never have. On one hand, you’re lucky that Alyssum isn’t in your age group, because you would have hated to volunteer over her. To willingly put yourself into a situation that would supposedly look like a ‘noble act’. But on the other hand, if she’s chosen for the games--since her eligibility doesn’t just magically go away because you’ve won--you won’t be able to volunteer for her, only mentor.

It’s mostly the reason why you’re so hellbent on sending her to the boarding school. You, Reed and Mox can’t protect her. She’s too young. Reed is seventeen years older than her, Mox is sixteen, and you are twelve. If she gets chosen, none of you can go in there and protect her. Even family friends are too old to do that, and you would never ask them to do it in the first place.

To volunteer to go into the games is to willingly accept that you might die when you go inside. It means to stand in line to get on Charon’s boat to cross the river Styx. It’s like standing outside of the gates of hell, knowing what is happening on the other side of the fence, and choosing to go inside anyway. In a way, it also means that you are not completely whole, and you are trying to find the missing piece.

The Hunger Games is not that missing piece.

The Hunger Games takes all the pieces you have and scatters them. You have to find each and every one of them individually, and hope that you haven’t gone out of order. Otherwise, you’re stuck in some purgatory of not knowing what you’re missing and thinking that missing piece is the solution.

You know because you’re speaking from experience.

The moment you rsoe from that platform inside of the arena, you lost everything you had before. You had to build it from the ground up, hoping that the foundation that your brothers had helped with, was sturdy enough to build the rest of the house. You got lucky in there. What they don’t tell you, is that you lose all the pieces when you come back, too.

You’ll never be able to officially understand what Annie will feel and go through, but you’ll be able to offer her advice. Tell her that she’s not alone, and every single victor had to go through the same process that she’s going through now. Readjusting back to reality after living inside a death trap designed to kill you, is hell. It’s always like walking through hell.

“I think I’m going to change.” Elysia says, getting up from the table and leaving towards the hallway, which might actually lead her to a room with extra clothes for the escorts. You don’t know, you never go farther than the balcony because there’s never a need to.

“Are you okay?” Finnick asks, his hand is gentle on your shoulder, “You’ve got a look on your face.”

“Just remembering how I felt post-games.” you look at him.

“Hopeless?” His voice is careful.

“Hopeless.” you agree, giving him a smile, “It’s okay, the pieces are coming back together. One at a time. I’m sure by the time I’m Haymitch’s age, I should have my head on straight without the help of alcohol poisoning.”

Finnick lets out a laugh, and then draws you in close enough to press a kiss to your lips. There’s a small explosion of heat across your face, since the giddy feeling from when you were a teenager seems to have come back. Along with all the previous feelings you had for Finnick.

You never stopped loving him, you were just waiting until it was the right time.

He presses a kiss to your forehead after, “Is your room back home soundproof?”

You pull away from him, face twisting, “You know how to ruin a moment, huh?”

“It was a genuine question!” He asks, but there’s laughter in his voice.

“If that’s really a concern, we can just use your house.”

He makes a face, “Your bed is always softer.”

“That’s because I know how to get a proper mattress.” a smile appears on your face as you get to your feet. You can hear Elysia coming down the hall, heels clicking on the wooden floorboards.

She’s dressed in a darker green, which still goes with her makeup, so there wasn’t a need for change. She obviously did this on purpose, just so that she wouldn’t have to take off what she’s wearing, put on a fresh layer, only to take it off a couple hours later. It would be a waste, mostly because all of the products in the Capitol are crazy expensive.

“We can go now.” she says.

Together, the three of you take the first elevator down to the Training Center, and then a second one further underground. Where the walls, floors and ceiling is all cement, and the doors are hidden unless digitally told to move. You remember sitting inside of your medical room, waiting for the doors to open for you. A random panel on the wall had moved. You knew the door blended in, but the architect was a genius for how well they'd done it.

You’re not allowed to go beyond a certain point. Annie hearing your voices directly outside of her room can make her feel like she’s going insane--it’s a rule for all victors, not an accommodation for her--and might even make her destructive. The peacekeepers stand in place for a while, motionless and waiting for orders. When the orders are given to them, they leave you three to yourselves in the hallway.

“Three more days until we go home.” you massage the back of your neck, “Finally, I’m tired of this.”

“So it takes nearly three full weeks for you to grow homesick?” Finnick asks.

“More of the fact that I just want to start the next round of trainees.” you run a hand through your hair, now, “Now that I’ve caught the mistake, I just want to fix it before it’s too late.”

“Do you have a set schedule for training?” Elysia asks, you can see Laurel coming your way.

When she stops next to Elysia, she doesn’t really say anything, just listens to what you three are talking about. If you didn’t know her as well as you did, you’re sure that you would be afraid to speak about this in front of her. However, she’s like one of your best friends, you trust her with your life.

“Mostly during the school year, we take a break when the games come around, and pick it up a week or two after. But this year I’m probably going to make them come in as soon as possible.”

Elysia opens her mouth, pauses, and then asks; “You take their entire break from them?”

“No,” Finnick says, you smile along, “No, when we designed this, we knew that we wouldn’t be able to run it all day long.”

“But you call it a boarding school.” she says slowly.

“To make sure that we don’t get in trouble with the law.” you raise your eyebrows slightly, feeling smug, “Preparing tributes for the Hunger Games is highly illegal, but if you can find ways around it…”

“Also, the school runs from late afternoon into evening. The teens have the entire morning to themselves.” Finnick says, “Because there’s nothing more teenagers hate than having to get up in the morning for school.”

You nod, “It runs for four to five hours, sometimes over if it’s a special day. We always warn the parents and teens in advance. We also keep track of who comes in, who drops out and for what reason. And also grades, for the younger kids because their education is important and all of that.”

Finnick’s trying to suppress a smile, “We run a very ethical business.”

You laugh, elbowing him.

You can hear the scuffle of feet behind you, which makes you and Finnick turn to see who’s coming. You know already, there’s no one else in this part of the building that has woken from their slumber.

Annie stands at the end of the hallway, looking only slightly disoriented. Her hair looks like she used her fingers to comb through it. As you said earlier, she’s wearing the grey sweatpants, with a matching grey shirt. At first, she just stands and stares at you guys, almost like she’s unsure if you guys are real.

And then a smile spreads across her face, breaking into a run with her arms open wide. You open your arms too, not being able to help the grin on your face. She slams into your body, arms tight around your waist. You squeeze her, rubbing her back with a laugh.

“Welcome back, Annie.”

She moves onto Finnick next, then Elysia, and finally, Laurel. When all of you can see her face, it’s slightly blotchy from crying. She wipes her eyes and gives you guys a wobbly smile, wrapping her arms around herself.

“How are you feeling?” you ask.

She shrugs slightly, “Tired, when are we going home?”

“Two days, we’ll be on the train by tomorrow afternoon.”

Annie smiles, Laurel touches her shoulder carefully, “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

And then her eyes land on you, Finnick and Elysia, “Don’t wait too long to get ready, you only have a few hours.”

“We got it.” Finnick gives her and Annie a wave.

Laurel brings Annie’s arm into hers, talking to her on the way to the elevator. They take a turn around a corner, and then they’re out of sight. For a moment, all three of you stand in silence, trying to gather what you can from that brief interaction with Annie.

“I think that we shouldn’t be as careful as we’re being.” you say slowly, trying to make sure that you won’t be wording this wrong, “She isn’t a child, she’s eighteen.”

Finnick’s nodding along, “You can be fragile and still not break under pressure.”

“Bingo.”

You decided that it wouldn’t hurt to get ready for the recap in the same room. You had Finnick bring his suit, and whatever he would need for his hair into your room, since you have too much to transfer. You stand in front of the mirror, half-naked and curling your hair. Finnick sits on a kitchen stool, wearing his black slacks and a white undershirt. He’s caught in a game of buttoning and unbuttoning his cuffs.

“We should get her a counselor.” he mutters absently.

“She can use mine.” you let the curl fall, and then twirl the strand of hair around your finger for a couple of seconds, “She’s still active, I see her every now and then when I’m having a particularly hard time.”

Finnick’s eyes find yours in the mirror, “How often?”

You shrug, “It’s gotten less over the years, but sometimes little things will set me off.” you give him a half-smile, “I don’t cook by myself anymore because the knives in our kitchen are small and triggering. But if it’s teaching the boarding school, I can use knives, swords, whatever all day long without a problem.”

You know what the problem is. When you cook, you like to do it alone because you don’t have people around you to distract you. You’re not as prone to making accidents. However, it also means that you’re allowed to think to yourself, and dig up everything that you’ve worked hard to bury. Like what it feels like to have your hands coated in blood, and the panicked feeling when Allio had woken up right as you’d begun to retreat.

If you’re surrounded by the teens, it means you’re using the knife with a purpose. You’re teaching them how to defend themselves, you don’t have to think about all the bad things you’ve done with a weapon, and all the feelings that came after. You also don’t do it often, too. You know to take breaks between you teaching and Anchor, because progress can unwind very, very quickly and easily. Years of work can be gone in a simple hour.

“Huh.” Finnick lets out, “Anything else?”

You think for a moment, and then laugh, “I don’t like the taste of fish. I can’t stand the smell of it cooking, either.”

Finnick laughs too.

“Alyssum asked me for a rabbit last year, like a pet.” You shake your head, “I told her no but I couldn’t explain why, exactly. How do you tell your little sister that you know what they taste like? Much less that you ate them for weeks on end?”

“That would be a good way to traumatize her.”

“Just a couple more years, and then I’ll let her in on the secret.” you wink.

You do your makeup next, going easy on the gold eyeshadow. Earlier, Laurel had hand-delivered a puffy gold dress, as well as Finnick’s black and white suit. He doesn’t get to have all the fun colors like he used to, unless he’s dressing himself. Laurel and Pleurisy wouldn’t allow that this time around, and you’re not really upset about it. She knows better than you do when it comes to what the Capitol will want to see.

“Are you nervous?”

You raise your eyebrows, “For what?”

“To be on stage, it’ll be the first time since we were kids.”

You pause, looking at him, “Are you nervous?”

“A little.” he admits, shrugging, “I mean, people will know that I’m a phony and did nothing.”

“Except you did do something, you mentored. Just because you didn’t help in the boarding school, doesn’t mean anything just yet.” you back up for a minute, “I wish Leo was here to do my makeup, he can do it more evenly than I can.”

“I think it looks good.” Finnick says, “The real problem is the eyeliner, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I’ve been practicing.”

It’s quiet for a second, “You didn’t answer my question.”

A low hum sounds from you as you try and finish up what you’re doing, “I don’t think so.” you move onto your other eye, “It’s not about me, it’s about Annie and her victory. It’s harder to be afraid to look good and stuff like that. I’m not the main focus, we won years ago.”

“Except they’re going to know we’re a couple…” Finnick trails off, “Maybe that isn’t a bad thing.”

You smile, “See? You’re worrying over nothing.”

You finish up what you’re doing, which takes an additional ten minutes. After, you pull on the dress, have Finnick zip up the back, and then sit on the chair in front of the mirror. You lightly curl some of his hair to accentuate the look, it’s also somewhat of a throwback to how he’d look on stage the last time you two were together.

“You look very handsome.” you say, rufflign up his hair to make it look less clean.

“I look handsome? I think you look handsome.” Finnick says.

You fake a gasp, placing your hand on your chest, grinning, “Oh my gosh, thank you.”

He rolls his eyes, laughing. The only thing you have to do is put on jewelry and put on your shoes before it’s too late. You go ahead and do the black heels first, Finnick volunteers to do the ribbons on the bottom because he knows how to tie a tie. When he gets to his feet, you cup his face and kiss him.

All the jewelry is black, except for your ring. You pull on the bracelets, and while you’re positioning them, you spy a wiggly gold one. So, you place it in the middle to make a small pattern, before moving onto your ears. The earrings are dangly black lines, it doesn’t draw much attention, and it’s mostly hidden by your hair, unless you move it behind your shoulder or tuck strands behind your ears.

Just before you think you’re ready enough to go, you go back and apply black lipstick, afraid that Laurel will pick that out when she finally sees you in less than an hour. You make sure that the black isn’t on your teeth, and won’t be transferring onto Finnick if you end up kissing him more. Then, you head out of your room and into the dining room to see that Elysia is just about to leave the apartment too.

She’s dressed in silver, but she isn’t shiny like you are, “I think Annie’s wearing red.”

“She is.” Finnick says, “It’s a maroon color, goes down to her calves.”

When you first saw the dress when Laurel showed you, it seemed a little dangerous, especially the color. But getting to see it in person a couple days ago, you finally agreed that Annie would like it. Annie’s not really going to get to see herself in the mirror, because they want to make sure she won’t have a panic attack just before the recap and crowning. Everyone was promised to make her glance in the mirror as brief as possible.

Elysia brings you and Finnick to where you’ll be standing when you’re raised. Unlike the first time, this time you and Finnick aren’t separated by a wall. You stand on yours briefly, and Finnick mimics you. A sense of nostalgia goes through you, staring at the wall in front of you like this, hands in your lap. Back then, you were moments from seeing Finnick for the first time since the arena. The first time he’d be able to see you awake, alert, alive.

You’re sure that you hate the feeling of all of this, rushing back into your head fast enough to give you a pounding headache. But you don’t move from the platform, you smile down at it slightly. It’s an old friend, the start of your journey home.

“Finnick?” you ask, looking at him.

His eyes meet yours, the darkness in here makes it nearly impossible to see the smile that appears on his face, “(Y/n)?”

“Thank you.”

His face twists slightly, “For what?”

“For saving me.”

He opens his mouth to ask what you mean, but Elysia appears telling you that Annie has made it down. The prep team and Laurel are going to go get ready, so you have a couple of minutes before you really need to start worrying about being where you should be. She disappears again.

“I’m going to go check on Annie real quick, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” you get off the platform.

Annie is standing by herself in the dark, playing with the smooth ruffles on her dress. She runs her fingers along the cloth, an easy soothing method. When she hears your heels, she looks over, and then smiles.

“Hey,” you stop in front of her, “You look great!”

Her chin lowers slightly, “Thank you, you do too.”

“The recap is going to be extremely easy. All you have to do is smile and wave.” you fix some hair, pulling it over her shoulder, “You don’t have to watch if you don’t want to.”

She nods, rubbing her hands down her dress until they disappear, pockets. You totally forgot that Laurel had incorporated pockets into her dress. You don’t even remember why she had done it in the first place, maybe because of the Victory Banquet? You suppose that makes the most sense.

Either way, she pulls out a small strand of rope, already frayed, “Laurel snuck me this.”

“Smart, I didn’t even think to get you something like that.” you nod, “We’ll be up in a couple of minutes, so just stay on the platform. You’ll be brought up last, you’ll hear Caesar and the audience above you.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll see you in a bit.”

You join Finnick back at the plate, stepping onto it and readjusting little things to make sure that they’re in place. Finnick does the same, as the minutes tick down. Before you know it, the anthem is blasting overhead. It’s only a matter of time, now. You’ll be on stage briefly, and then you’ll be sitting in the crowd.

You listen to Caesar greet the audience, and then slowly start to introduce Annie’s prep team. Cleo is up first, then Beth, then Leo. They don’t get extremely loud cheering, as they’re not seen as super important. They only handle hair and makeup, but they still get their own small spotlight. And it’s their second time, too. Elysia is introduced immediately after, you’re sure she’s thrilled that being in District Four is finally paying off.

Of course, Laurel gets loud cheering because she organized Annie’s outfits. You’re sure she’s dressed in black, that’s her go-to color. However, she’s very good at making it not look like a funeral color, and more of a welcome sight. You remember her telling you, once upon a time, that the color shouldn’t be frowned upon and exclusively made for funerals. Just like white, black can be made a bright color too.

You’re not entirely sure about that, considering that you’ve been to more than your fair share of funerals. She can think that the color can be reimagined into something that hasn’t such a dim meaning as soon as it’s seen. But in the districts, it’ll never be given a new meaning.

You and Finnick are next. You can hear your name being called, a little echo following after. The crowd is already cheering loudly, just as you’re beginning to be pushed up. You wipe the grim look off your face, knowing that it’s not what the audience will want to see. Plus, you’re not entirely sure you want to spend the rest of the day in a bad mood. You still have hours of being around Capitol people ahead of you.

You blink and squint through the light, waving towards the crowd. You can hear your blood rushing in your ears, heart pounding loudly in your chest. You look over to see that Finnick has this cheeky smile on his face, and then he looks at you. It’s an immediate sense of deja vu that washes over you.

As the two of you come together, he holds his hand out for you to take. You slip your palm into his, and pull him to you a little bit to give him a kiss. He meets you halfway, and honestly, if you thought that the cheering before was loud, it gets louder. You smile against his lips, and he can’t help but to let out a little laugh himself.

The two of you meet everyone else at the front of the stage, waving and pointing to the people you recognize from the betting room. At the end, the prep teams lead the way down to the front row of seats, leaving the middle just for you and Finnick. Very last, so she has the entire stage to herself, Annie raises from the ground.

The crowd stands, so you stand with them. You clap, and when Annie has made it to the top of the platform, you go ahead and whistle. You can’t imagine how lonely it is up there, being by herself. Suddenly you’re more appreciative of the fact that the gamemakers gave you an opportunity to go home with Finnick. Imagine standing on that stage, knowing it could have been two.

You squeeze Finnick’s hand a little harder.

Annie sits in the white chair, hands dipping into her pockets. She nonchalantly pulls out her string and messes with it while her recap begins to play. And since all recaps tell a story, hers is ‘lone survivor’. It’s not a happy tale, as it starts with teamwork. She watches Marsh get beheaded in front of her, but the room falls silent when she slits Geare’s throat, and then attacks Sanguin. The recap ends with her on the roof, announcing her own win.

Again, the anthem plays. Annie raises from her spot in her seat, as you all watch President Coriolanus Snow come out from the side, with a girl trailing behind him, carrying the crown on a pillow. He stops in front of Annie, at an angle so that the audience can see. He carefully picks up the crown before placing it on her brow.

He moves out of the way, cheering erupts all around you. Annie places one hand in her pocket, the one that was holding the rope, while she waves with the other. She looks naturally happy here, you wonder how you’ll break the news to her that she won’t have a moment to think to herself after this. You and Finnick won’t be allowed to stay near her the entire night, you’ve got people to talk to, yourselves.

Caesar finally wraps up the show, bidding you all a good night, with a reminder to tune into tomorrow’s final interview. It’ll be the last real time that they see Annie before the Victory Tour, as tomorrow the last glimpse the cameras will catch is her leaving the train station. After that, she’s in her own protective bubble, away from the cameras.

You all hurry to catch Annie behind the stage, singing praise to how well she did on stage, even if it was just sitting. She looked absolutely wonderful with the crown, Elysia doesn’t stop telling her that, even after you all get in the car. The ride to the Victory Banquet at the President’s Mansion is filled with pure instruction and warning.

“You’ll have a small bit of time to eat before you’re bombarded.” you say, watching as Elysia fixes little bits of Annie’s costume, “So, eat quickly and don’t grab rich foods that you know will make you sick.”

Finnick goes next, “They’re going to want conversation and pictures, so keep it brief and don’t stop smiling. If they offer you drinks, turn it down. There’s a hundred combinations they have, and not all of them are good.”

“We’ll come by every now and then to check on you. But we can’t stay the entire time.”

“You’ll do great.” Elysia assures her.

And just as promised, you leave Annie alone when you get there. Just like her, you and him don’t have much time to yourselves. So, you eat and talk at the same time, covering your mouth occasionally if you’re doing both. The food is rich, cooked perfectly, and delicious. Some food will melt in your mouth immediately, while others you have to chew it a few times before the flavor really kicks in. It’s a buffet, so just like this morning, there’s endless possibilities on what you can taste.

You and Finnick make your way around.

“About earlier, when you thank me for saving you--what were you thinking?” he asks, watching you.

You give him a smile, grabbing a bowl while you carefully spoon in a type of stew that smells savory. When you get the first taste of it, it’s not too thin, and it’s got a variety of spices, too many to think. It’s on the variety of overwhelming, but the thought of more makes your mouth water.

“When I stepped onto the platform, I remembered how I felt when I knew I’d be seeing you in mere minutes.” You look at him, “You were the first thing I asked for when I woke up, did I ever tell you that?”

“No, actually.” he smiles a bit, mirroring you, “If it makes you feel better, I asked if you were okay and alive.”

You laugh, he does too, “When I got on stage…” you quiet for a second, lowering the bowl, “I was relieved.”

“Me too.” Finnick says, “But I was also nervous about kissing you again.” you give him a look, “Honestly!”

“Right, Mister Casanova--”

“Oh, not this again.”

“--who had all the girls in high school wrapped around his finger--”

“(Y/n), it wasn’t like that.” his face is slowly turning red, adjusting his footing.

“--never had his first kiss before me? Okay.” you grin, watching him recollect himself.

As he takes deep breaths, the normal color of his face begins to return, “I never said that, all I said was that I was nervous to kiss you again. Because, you know.”

“No, I don’t know. Go ahead and enlighten me.”

He tilts his head, making a ‘seriously’ face at you. You’re thoroughly enjoying this, watching him explain his feelings. If this is how he gets every single time, you think you’ll have to do it more often. Find the deep things that he hasn’t told you just yet, and watch him get flustered when you pretend not to know.

“You’re telling me that you didn’t notice I liked you? I walked you home after school, in the rain, snow, sun. My mom gave you cookies, (Y/n).” He says, and you have to pause to think.

“I just thought you were being friendly.”

“We hung out everywhere.” he emphasizes.

And you guess he’s right. You thought that you and him didn’t hang out that often, but it’s a lot more than you can recall off the top of your head. You were so preoccupied in your own little bubble, worried about things back home and how they would get done, to notice that he was always there.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice earlier.” you tell him.

He shrugs, “I could always tell there was something on your mind.”

You smile.

Unfortunately, your time together, alone, ends there. You discard your plates and bowls in the proper places, knowing that you’ll be able to pick up more later if you have the time. For now, you talk to sponsors and important Capitol people. It’s mostly praise on how well your mentoring is, to get a tribute as dedicated as Annie is. But it’s also filled with pictures and polite smiles, pulling Finnick in close to join you.

There’s a few people that come around and tell you that they met you beforehand. Some of them you genuinely recognize, others aren’t as memorable, and you figure it’s because they came later. You remember all the faces blurring towards the end of the night. Mostly because they were drunk, dressed the same, and would talk the same before leaving.

You and Finnick work together to keep an eye on Annie. As far as you can tell, she’s holding up well. She seems like she’s comfortable, taking pictures and shaking hands. Elysia checks up on her first, and then comes around to you two to tell you that she’s feeling fine. About an hour later, you two become shields for her to allow her to recollect and start again.

She drinks water, you escort her to the bathroom, and help her pick out foods that will make her feel full. You vaguely know the tastes of all the food, and if you don’t, there’s papers that will tell her. Most of them are on point, some stray altogether. Annie seems to have fun, though, being able to pick her foods instead of having the Capitol regulate what she eats.

After that, you leave her again, wish her luck, and join Laurel and Elysia. They’re enjoying drinks with the prep team, who are all on the verge of making fools of themselves. Depending on the flavor of the alcohol, the color of the drink varies. You pick up a tall glass that fizzes that tastes like pineapple, lemon and orange. Finnick drinks a blue one that tastes like blueberries, blue raspberry and makes his face twist because it’s sour.

Some drinks go down like pure water, others make you pucker and cough from the intensity. Finnick will think that he’s strong enough to take on the drink that you just had, and then he’ll be subjected to the same burning sensation in his throat. You enjoy laughing at him after each time, until he finally learns his lesson.

As the night goes into morning, you and Finnick stop drinking and migrate around to say your goodbyes to as many people as you can before getting Annie with Elysia. All of you pile into the same car, where you’re brought to the Tribute Center. Immediately, Annie is brought to her room.

“We’ll see you tomorrow, just try and get some rest, okay?” you close her door, say goodnight to Elysia, and then you’re left with Finnick.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?” he asks, moving some hair out of your face.

“Yeah.”

You slowly undress, hanging the gold dress in the closet, dropping the shoes beneath it. In the bathroom, you shed every piece of jewelry into a single drawer, not caring whether or not it fits in. You don’t have to look good tomorrow, you won’t be on camera until you’re at the train station.

You clean your face, and meet Finnick in the bed. Slipping beneath the blankets, you lay on your back, closing your eyes as you allow the tension in your back and shoulders to escape you. Finnick comes into the room a couple of moments later, no longer wearing his suit, only his boxers.

He jumps onto the bed, making you bounce. You let out a laugh, watching him get under the blankets too. You let him pull you into his body, finding out that he’s a literal furnace. You’re not sure you’ll last too long with the blankets if he’s producing this much heat. Either way, you wrap yourself around him, feeling him pull you against his body.

“I’m so fucking tired.” he says.

“Me too.” you briefly squeeze him, “We’ll be home soon.”

He presses a kiss to your forehead, “You smell nice.”

“So do you.”

He lets out a half-laugh, before the two of you fall into silence. And eventually, sleep.

The morning is chaotic, as you have to move quickly to get ready this morning. Finnick brought in clothes last night to change into this morning. So, while he gets dressed, you briefly pull on a shirt and shorts before going out to eat breakfast with Annie and Elysia.

Annie’s only given so much time. She practically inhales the stew and rice, not having any time to properly enjoy it before the prep team is appearing. Laurel isn’t here just yet, as always. On the way out of the room, Annie picks up a buttered roll on the way out, waving to you and Finnick. She disappears in the hallway, you can hear her door shut.

You and Finnick don’t have a load of time, either. But you’re still allowed to eat slowly and properly savor the taste. When you’re done, you tell Elysia that you’ll be out before Annie starts her interview, and then Finnick goes to grab today’s clothes. You disappear into your room.

You take a shower, which entails washing your hair and your body. You should’ve done it last night, but you were far too tired to actually do it. When you step out, the machines dry you from head to toe, hair included. You pull on skin-matching underwear, and then pull your hair half-up, letting the rest be down like normal.

Makeup isn’t a number one priority, so you settle for mascara. Cameras aren’t going to be focusing on you, as you said. Finnick is sitting in front of the window when you get back inside of your room. He briefly looks over his shoulder to see you, and then back out at the city. The sun is nowhere to be seen, even though it’s past afternoon time by now.

You get dressed in ripped black jeans and a pink shirt. The tennis shoes are also black, the ring blends in slightly, which is the good news. The bad is that you and Finnick are almost matching, because of the shirt he’s wearing. But instead of telling him to get changed, you sit on the bed and pull on your tennis shoes. The city looks fairly alive, considering that Annie will be on television in less than a half hour.

“I’ve been thinking.” Finnick says, you hum, not moving from your spot on the bed, “It wasn’t me that saved you.”

Your eyebrows draw in, “What?”

“It was you who saved me.”

“Finnick, you know how dumb you sound right now, right?” you start, “You saved me from dying--twice! You saved me from the stab wound, and then kept me from falling over the edge of the cliff.”

“But you’re the one who got us to the cliff in the first place. You knew that running headfirst into the careers would get us killed. You were the one that kept pushing on even though you were physically dying--”

“Which wouldn’t have been possible without you healing me!” you say.

“And you were there the entire time during the victory tour.” Finnick’s voice gets quieter, “You held my hand the entire time. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have made it through.”

You get off the bed and sit next to Finnick, taking his hand in yours. You say nothing, leaning your head against his shoulder. The two of you sit like this for a while, watching the cars dart around in the streets until you have to get up and be there for Annie’s interview.

It’s pretty uniform. You, Elysia and Finnick stand in the doorway, behind the cameras but Annie can still see you if she looks over. Caesar starts off slow for her, cracking jokes and keeping topics light. There’s a few questions he has to ask, which make your hands curl into fists, nervous if this will be what makes her break down. Especially the question about leaving Sanguin alive.

But Annie eases right through it, “I didn’t have to kill her, so I didn’t.” and then moves onto the next question without blinking an eye. It works like this, her answers are informative enough to make sure that Caesar can’t press on, but vague enough to not dig up memories. You’re proud of her.

It goes on for a little while more, as the questions have no set direction. You know that when he’s asking about the end, it’s almost over. So, you cross your arms, watching and listening to Caesar propose the question.

“When you saw the water coming, what was your intention, exactly?”

Annie pauses for a moment, drawing her lips inward, and then she lets out a smile, “I was trying to run for as long as possible before I had to get into the water. I ran straight, because zig-zagging would only slow me down. And the further I ran, the more the height of the water, and really the intensity, started to lower.

“I got on the roof because I knew that it would be easier to swim to the top of the water from halfway, rather than the bottom. And the pressure at the bottom might have been too much for my ears. I waited until the water was right in front of me before I dived in, so that the impact wouldn’t shock me. At the top, all I had to do was coast and wait until something happened.” Annie finishes, playing with her fingers.

“So, you didn’t anticipate winning?” Caesar asks.

“No, I thought that the other tributes might have been somewhere safe already. That the water would eventually lower, and I’d go right back to trying to survive.”

Caesar smiles, “Which is why the announcement came as a shock.”

Annie smiles back, “Yeah.”

The interview is over. Caesar wraps it up, and the cameras are off. You can hear laughing, watching people hug. Annie raises from where she sat on her chair, and comes over to you and Finnick.

“Home?” She asks hopefully.

“Home.” you repeat.

Just before you all leave for the train, you collect anything that you might want out of your room. You find that the clothes you wore during the reaping are nicely folded and placed on the edge of your bed. You pick it all up, holding it against your chest when you meet Finnick in the hallway, looking the exact same way that you do.

You all meet in the front room together, where you go downstairs and out onto the street to see cars with blackened windows. Together, you, Finnick, Annie, Elysia and Laurel fit into a large car. Where you all assure Annie that she looks great, and that she answers her questions like she should’ve.

She gets a brief moment to say goodbye to Laurel, hugging her and thanking her for everything that she’s done so far. After that, you’re all brought onto the train station, where Annie waves goodbye for a couple of seconds, and then you’re inside, and the doors have closed.

“Holy shit.” you let out, stretching your arms above your head, “Glad that’s over.”

The entire train is dark for a couple of seconds, as you pass through the tunnel on the way out. As soon as light has filled the windows again, Elysia is bringing you all to the dining room to eat. It’s a big dinner, with plenty of courses. Annie seems to have it down by now, and she lasts all the way to the end before she’s full. You and Finnick picked at what you wanted, finishing up with the chocolate lava cake and ice cream.

After, you all sit on the couch together to watch a replay of the interview. Every now and then, Annie will admit how she was thinking of saying something else, and then will tell you what she could’ve said instead. Some of it is letting the audience down more slowly, other times it’s straight-forward and almost out-of-character. Like she’s trying to purposely provoke the Capitol into having an interaction.

When it’s over, you’re left to entertain yourselves. Annie says that she’s heading right to bed, and you and Finnick figure that it won’t hurt to do the same. However, neither of you are tired. For a while, you swing in Finnick’s hammock, talking to him about the boarding school and the schedule, how you’ll fit him in and what the teens will benefit from it.

“You think your brothers will kill me tomorrow?”

“We’ll just barely step off the platform and you’ll be dead.” you laugh, “You have no chance of even making it back home.”

“I think I can run fast.”

You look over your shoulder, through the holes of the rope at Finnick, who’s watching you. You tilt your head, amused by the thought of him managing to outrun Reed, “I don’t think you’ll make it ten feet. He’ll just jump at you. What will you do then?”

Finnick sputters out a laugh, “Jump out of the way, easy peasy.”

You laugh a little too loud, covering your mouth. When you settle, you say; “I think they’ll be happy to see you again.”

You can hear Finnick get up, and you watch as he comes closer, standing next to you. He takes your hand in his, squeezing it, “Good, because I don’t plan on going away ever again.”

You give Finnick a soft smile, “I know.”

REDAMANCY IS PART 2 OF A TRILOGY //MASTERLIST//

add yourself to the TAGLIST

@f1nal-g1rl / @starlight-selene / @neenieweenie / @amixedwitch / @accxio / @suranne-doesstuff

#ilguna #finnick odair #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair fanfic #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair oneshot #finnick odair redamancy #redamancy #redamancy chapter nine

46 notes · View notes