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#some of you are here for politics thats ok i have those. but for the love of god dont treat personal posts as political

beemovieerotica · 4 months

Note

u literally get 20k-30k notes on some of ur posts. please stop being so disingenuous and acting as if you have no reach. if you don't wanna use your platform to bring awareness to important topics thats one thing and that's fair enough. but to act as if you have no platform at all is so ????

??? there are 20k to 30k note posts on here about cock and balls but those dont equate to a meaningful political platform - every time I've posted about donating to causes it gets like 50 notes tops. and there's no record of anyone actually following through.

i said it in a previous post but ask anybody whos tried to get a mutual aid post off the ground or get people to show up for a demonstration, it's like pulling teeth. this is a fandom website with anonymized usernames and zero accountability where something like half the userbase is under age 20? I legitimately dont know what you're expecting me to be able to do

im gonna be real I was staring at those asks and my gut instinct was to just post "yes" because that's the most succinct way to get it across but that's fucking empty, right? and so I was trying to come up with a "statement" until deciding okay, I'll post actual receipts with my real legal first name on them so people cant try to misconstrue anything or accuse me of practicing empty online activism. and then I immediately got another anon like "ummmm but I heard money isnt getting into palestine so idk how you're doing that"

like. ok. what's the goal here. is it to ACTUALLY effect meaningful change or is this a purity litmus test

#ask

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vampitz · 7 months

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why i headcanon/see shidou kirisaki as autistic!!!

(note: i am not a medical professional, just an autistic person on the internet. all of my interpretations of his autism come from the lens of being autistic. you might see him completely differently and thats ok!)

autistic! shidou is a headcanon i hold very near and dear to me and talk about it. a lot. as such, i thought id compile some actual reasonings as to why i view him as autistic.

ill be using snippets from the dsm-5 in this post. i will be mainly using portal conversations as proof, because i feel like they are the most "casual" we can get the characters to be.

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts

shidou has a very straightforward way of speaking and seems to ignore social rules of "politeness" a lot of the time, while still remaining pretty calm.

shidou also seems to have some sort of difficulty wording himself, and in almost every single portal conversation he trails in and out of sentences. the only characters who do this more than him are haruka and muu.

Shidou: That’s good…… You were crying so much, so I was concerned for you. ……yeah, I’m sure. Your family will definitely be worrying about you. I…… hope you can go back soon.

little snippet of what i mean, this amount of trailing off happens in pretty much every shidou portal conversation

shidou also is constantly misinterpreted by his facial language and his tone. on multiple occasions he is referred to as hard to approach, and so calm its "suspicious". characters are surprised when he smiles or is actually a nice person.

"Mu: Shidou-san…… did you come here to comfort me……? I’m sorry, I’d thought you were…… a scary person…… fufu."

Kotoko: …… Shidou, right? I’ve been watching your actions for a while, and I’m curious. You’re always extremely calm, and your expression never changes. Do you know something about this place? Shidou: No, I know nothing. ……I’ve never really had an expressive face. Despite appearances, I am quite shaken by this.

Mikoto: Also, I don’t give nicknames to [ ] the hard-to-approach types like Shidou-san.

he also seems to have difficulty holding conversations, as most portal conversations with him involve him trailing off, talking to himself (ex. with amane) or just like, not elaborating on what hes saying.

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities

the repetitive patterns/behaviors is a little bit hard to determine, since they are in prison and not really acting like their "real selves" in terms of behavior. also, since milgram is a series mainly in voice dramas and music videos its kind of difficult to pinpoint any physical repeated behaviors.

when it comes to heavily focused interests, though, shidou seems to be completely obsessed with his work. although this could just be him being a workaholic, the amount of passion he had in it before milgram really reminds me of a special interest that has been pursued as a career.

he also seems very knowledgeable in other topics, such as being able to recite japanese criminal law from the top of his head. again, this could easily be interpreted as him just trying to learn the best way to argue for a death penalty but i dont really care this is my headcanon sooo.

in terms of sensory issues, shidou's issues with his hands could totally play into those. what is specifically wrong with his hands has never been stated: it could be nerve damage, sensory issues, or something else. i see it as a mix of sensory issues and some other underlying conditions.

Mikoto: By the way, I’ve been wondering for a while, but do you always wear those gloves? Shidou: I don’t…… How to put it…… I suppose…… since I have my hands covered all the time, then when I take them off, it feels as though the feeling in my fingertips is even greater…… I know it’s probably all in my head…… but that’s how it feels.

in his trial 2 interrogation, he says he cant wear rings because they lessen the feeling in his fingertips. this could easily be sensory issues in his hands.

thats pretty much all i have to say regarding this!!! if it wasnt obvious this is just a silly headcanon thats mainly me projecting, but it does have basis in canon to a degree. shidou, with his easily misinterpreted tone and facial expressions and deep love for his interests just reminds me a lot of myself.

(btw if you like this headcanon i did write a fic of shidou getting diagnosed with autism if you wanna read it haha... shameless self promo)

#shidou kirisaki #milgram #analysis sort of not really #krav talks #i speedran this sorry guys i just wanted to get this out in the open #feel free to lmk any thoughts or questions you have regarding this

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lukweer · 10 months

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ok so like there are two parts of me, right? well there are a lot of parts but english is hurting me right now and my head isn't working so you will make due/do(?)

anyways one part is like: my sense for gay people is strong, i think i know which f1 drivers are gay and i am confident in my answers

but the other part is like: its wrong to speculate sexuality because if people havent come out then they either aren't ready to be out or aren't gay, but at the same time this generation is moving away from the construct of coming out so like... idk.

today the first part is stronger, though, so i want to share my speculations because everyone in the states only watches nascar and is a hick and i'm scared of them. they also do not like my italian accent :(

1. Max Verstappen

come on guys, any gay person could tell u he's probably bi. i mean he doesn't even try to hide it, u know? like there are compilations of him being fruity. and they are shockingly long.

he's mentioned using grindr, he's mentioned girls OR guys when talking about dating preferences, the whole thing with the freaking lei (i think thats how it is spelled, the hawaiian thing? the flower necklace?). the list goes on and on.

he's had girlfriends, and i'm pretty sure they weren't beards but i'm not sure. i'm leaning towards bi tho for this reason.

even if he isn't bi or gay or pan or whatever, he's at least incredibly comfortable with queerness and is probably a really cool dude. annoying when i'm watching the sunday races, but love him the rest of the time!

2. Lando Norris

lando is a bit more subtle with it (as are the other ppl in the list). emphasis on a bit, though.

unless you live under a rock, you've probably seen this gif:

this has called many aboard the lando is a little fruitcake train. what people don't realise is that he "eye fucks" or like... stares lovingly a lot.

other examples include:

staring lovingly at carlos sainz

checking out charles leclerc (kind of? i think he is checking him out)

staring lovingly at carloz sainz

this weird ass moment with, you guessed it, carloz sainz

there are a lot of these photos and clips out there, but i'm lazy and don't feel like looking for them so yeah. take my word for it.

i saw a post saying that if carlos and lando pulled up to the paddock holding hands and telling people they were dating they wouldn't be shocked. i agree with this statement entirely. as was stated, it takes a lot to get to that point, and we're at that point.

now i grew up a gay dude to a conservative family, and i know the little mannerisms that are like... a part of being gay? and i know what it looks like to hide them.

i do not know if this is the right way to say it or if it is politically correct, but i believe it to be true. gay men tend to have little mannerisms here and there that give us away a bit, and i think i've seen some of those in lando.

i don't think i will share them though, as i don't want to accidentally push harmful stereotypes or whatever. obviously not all gay men have gay mannerisms and it might be something lando is insecure about so i would rather not put them on blast.

if it's not a bad thing i may come back and edit this and add them in. idk, let me know i guess? i am still learning american customs.

3. Yuki Tsunoda

this is probably going to be the shortest section (ha).

yuki mostly just makes my radar go off. i don't consume alphatauri content as much, but i know there was a thing with him and pierre that was just crazy last year and the year prior. don't know as much about it as i should haha.

but yeah. yuki just sends my radar into the astral plane (is that a thing? i am doubting myself). if he is not at least bisexual i will eat my own foot.

maybe that one moment between him and michael italiano has just gotten to me, i don't know. i trust in my instincts though.

Honourable Mentions

4. Danny Ric

idk he just gives the vibe! i don't know how to explain my radar. gay people know. i think it is called gaydar.

DR is on it.

5. Carlos Sainz

he is probably on my gaydar the least, but he's still on there. latest vlog he gently combed his finger through ruperts hair. he's probably deeply in love with lando. just little things like that i guess!

6. Oscar Piastri

this may be wishful thinking. i sit in bed at night and pray that he is into men.

that is all! thank you for learning about fruity drivers with me! please do not cancel me if i am doing something politically incorrect! i am still learning!

#f1 #formula 1 #max verstappen #lando norris #yuki tsunoda #daniel ricciardo #danny ric #carlos sainz #carlando #oscar piastri #lgbtq

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k4katsujin · 4 months

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vamp ghost brainrot do you see my vision

DO YOU SEE MY VISION?!?!?!?!?!

ok this is v random but apparently im on a creative spree so lets enjoy it while it lastssss

context: the idea came from when i noticed ghost had lil fangs on his mask and and and

reader is tf141's medic/nurse idk how you call it but you get it also shoutout to @unabashedcroissanttreefan (PHEROMONE IS BACKK) and @cluelylikesporn mwah

also reader is not white AND a vampire. boom. not black either but i like the concept of poc/mixed vampires (and poc vampires would look so cool) (i am mixed and id look so cool as an autistic soon-to-be-adult teen vampire and you cant tell me otherwise.)

wc: 1049

also trigger warning dislocation and blood (duh there's vampirism in this fic what did you expect /lh)

also maybe ooc ghost idrk

pt 2 in the making!

"okay, lets see... who do we have next.." you said as your checked your medical files. "lieutenant riley?" (you raise an eyebrow) "strange. he never came before" you thought out loud, but you shrugged it off. "you can come in!"

"hello, y/n" ghost greeted you politely as he sat in front of you. "i hope my team hasn't been of too much trouble"

"don't worry about them!" you smile softly, "lets talk about you, for once! what brings you there? you usually never come to check ups, which i have to say isnt very professional!!" you scold him lightly, "but im glad you seem safe and well!"

ghost chuckled softly before replying: " i came here because i have been suffering from awful migraines, and i have no idea where they can possibly come from, and so i wanted to ask you if you could check? and maybe give me a stronger dose of painkillers so that i won't need to bother you every week? also, i noticed i have been having more trouble falling asleep, it's as if i found myself more... active in the nighttime, i would say?"

"mhm.. this sure is strange, but dont worry!" you reply with an assured smile. "do you have some spare time so i can do your checkup now, or do you wish to book another appointment?"

"i would like to do it now, if you don't mind"

"okay, no problem!" you smile as you put on a surgery mask, "lay down on this chair and lift up your mask just above your mouth, please! ill start off with examinating your teeth."

ghost did as you asked him to, and you started your inspection; what you saw surely was weird.

"this is strange..." you muttered to yourself, "can you please bite into this?" you asked him as you handed him a plaster mold. "it looks like your fangs... have overgrown."

"what??" ghost asked, confused. "with all due respect, you must be kidding me."

"im not" you reply, showing him the mold he bit in. "see? its like, the bite mark is... sharper than a usual one would be"

"and... do you happen to have a reason to that?" ghost starts to panic, "or even a remedy?"

"i think... i might have an idea, but don't freak out, okay?" (he nods unsurely) "you might want to sit down for this one. okay so... there have been rumors - and i insist on the word 'rumor' - of a disease that turns people into vampires, and-"

"are you telling me i'm one of those freaks?!?" ghost hurried, panicked.

"that's... insensitive to us.." you mutter to yourself, "but nevermind. no, there is no cure, you just learn to live with it.

"thats..." he thought out loud, "wait did you say us? are you a vampire too?"

"duh, just because im not white doesn't mean i cant be a vampire thats- very cliché." you reply, slightly offended. "but yes, i am."

"but- how do you even sleep at night? how do you even feed yourself ? and-" ghost's mind raced with questions.

"let me guess, you're assuming all vampires drink blood to survive, aren't you?" (he nods, slightly ashamed, but you smiled, amused at his panic) "don't worry, we aren't all like that. i'd be delighted to teach you there are a whole lot of different types of vampires! for example, i am an empathic one! which means i tend to be more well... empathic."

"and how does one know what type of vampire one is?" ghost asked, seeming childhishly interested to the point it almost looked endearing.

"thats exactly what im coming to!" you reply with a soft smile, before coming back a few moments later with a little pouch of blood. "what does this make you feel?"

"this looks delicious" he replies as his eyes lit up, "can i have a taste?"

"well then," you chuckled, "it's all settled! you're a blood drinker vampire!"

"oh." the worries then came back in his voice, "does that mean i have to..." (he gulps) "kill people to drink their blood?"

"well, technically speaking, if we were in a typical eldritch story, you would have to. but, hopefully for the writer we're not, and its a good thing im a medic, so i have plenty of those little pouches!"

ghost sighed in relief, but then panic peaked again.

"do you think we should tell others? like, price and soap?" ghost asked worried.

"no. not for now, at least." you thought for a moment, and added: "but, one thing is sure, if we dont want anybody to find out you have to do whatever it takes to not get deployed,or else... "

"we're fucked, balls deep." ghost completed your sentence. "but how? price won't allow me to stay at the base unless i get injured."

"that's exactly my point!" you say as your eyes glimmer mischievously, "but im not sure you will like the idea.."

"whatever it takes for people not to notice.." he sighs.

"good!" you reply with a smile, "please lay down on this chair,just so youre warned its gonna be a little... painful."

"what the fuck- you sprained my fucking ankle???" ghost hurried, grumbling in pain.

"what?? you wanted a reason to not get deployed, didnt you? you should thank me" you chuckled as you noticed him wincing in pain. "anyway, its time for price's meeting, take those to help you walk, and you let me do the talking to price, okay?"

ghost nodded as you both headed to the briefing room, one of his arm around your shoulder to help him walk, where price and the rest of the task force were already waiting for you.

"sorry we're late, captain!" you hurried as you and ghost entered the room.

"its fine" price replied, raising an eyebrow, "what happened to you, Lieutenant?"

"we were practicing close fighting and he accidentally sprained his ankle, sir" you reply with an assured smile.

"is that so?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, "then why didnt i see both your names in the record?"

"because we forgot, and there was nobody on the wait list, sir" you reply. "but i promise it wont happen again."

"good" price sighed, "then i suppose i have no choice but to make gaz replace you, ghost."

is all for part one i feel like its already too long help

hope you enjoyed, if you dont reblog ill snatch your toenails

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nekoashiii · 2 years

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More questions for teen reader au! (If thats ok)

1. Does reader have any special powers/abilities?

2. Will reader ever say how they got to teyvat(being isekai'd)?

3. How would reader rule over teyvat?

Love this au

You are more than welcomed to send me asks about any au, I enjoy writing about it!

Previous parts ──‌➤‌‌ 1, 2,

1- Explaining is a bit difficult but well, yes and no. Reader doesn't have vision like powers or they can't just levitate.

But that doesn't mean they are powerless, you see anything they talk to responds back to them, for example, they look at a mirror and the reflection waves at her, or she talks to a pen and the pen starts writing on something to respond back, what in the Disney shit

And no one is really safe from their powers, they whisper to themselves about how they wished today weather was stormy and boom, the sky will start to rumble at their will.

Same goes with this, zhongli and other are walking with reader in the palace (more like them following reader everywhere since this is the more realistic way au)

Reader decides that they are tired of this shit and runs to another corner of the manor with the acolytes chasing them, they do find reader but before they can get anywhere close, walls appear infront of you and separate the acolytes and reader. Teyvat only listen to the creator, you.

2- Tbh they can say whatever they want and their words hold the price of gold, diamonds, their words are precious. However, on this matter even if they do say how they got here or what a device is, no one really understands, they don't have the brain cells to understand what the absolute hell is a phone (unless you are talking to albedo or Dottore) Still they think you are a god in that world as well, a world full of gods. So it would be counted as something holy to explain to them how you descended. (You can bet your ass they will teach kids at school about this)

3-readers place in like.. a massive building, 100 times bigger than a normal castle you see in a Chinese drama.

It's like absolutely massive, even living in it for 3 months you still haven't explored some parts of it

Important business will be moved near your palace since that city is now the capital of teyvat.

Ayato, Pantalone, ningguang, etc.. they would move in. Yes move in. They managed to use Suger coated words and guilt trip you into letting them move in the palace so they would be close to you, and plus their business would boost like 0 to 100

But you don't stay in your palace all the time, you have other places to stay at for 1 month, inazuma, liyue, fontain, mondstad, Snezhnaya, etc..

And your clothing changes to the style of the country, exp: inazuma: kimonos with lavish hairpins, liyue: (I forgot what the name is but I added a picture)

As I like to add, the clothes you wear is genuinely not even fun anymore

I did some research and the weight of the crown you should wear is around..8-20 kg.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HEAVY THAT IS?? And the long dresses you can trip on 💀

Example if you are over 14:

Keep in mind that you change clothes when you visit other countries

Liyue: china,‌ ‌Inazuma: japan ,‌ Mondstadt: Germany,‌ ‌Snezhnaya:Russia

Take liyue clothing as an example for this

3- alot of people would not expect this but, you are not really free like those sagau fics you read. If we are talking realistic, you aren't allowed to even step a foot outside without an army of people trailing behind you

Keeping that in mind, your word is law, what you desire is law, you want students to have 6 months of break instead of 3? Say less.

So yes politic spins around you. It's a different case if reader is young. In that case the archons would take control with your premission until you are 13.

And if you are over 15, you should review the rules of each country and correct and add stuff if you like.

#sagau #genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau yandere #x reader #yandere cult genshin #sagau fatui #yandere sagau #sagau zhongli #sagau inazuma #sagau mondstadt #sagau fatui harbingers

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striving-artist · 1 month

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Do you have more of those threaten people phrases? I loved all of them and find it hard to beat the ones you wrote

ooh boy, yes.

If you didn't see, I had some more here: https://www.tumblr.com/striving-artist/744994632360935424/you-asked-for-more-examples-and-this-is-about-to

(Also I wrote 300k of fic that has a bunch of bizarre and creative cursing if it suits your style)

But you asked for threats, so I shall oblige.

"I'm going to dismantle all your small kitchen appliances."

"gonna trade all of the lids to your tupperware to ones that almost fit but don't"

"I will pay off Starbucks to make all your coffees decaf"

"ok cool, so I'm gonna crochet myself into a ball and vanish into the yarn."

"do me a quick favor, call the FBI and tell them I know who DB Cooper is, that should get me out of this meeting"

"I'm gonna take your horse and vanish into the woods" (she actually has a horse)

"When you turn your back I'll override all the hotkeys on your software"

"I am gonna buy you an expensive plant that is very difficult to care for and always ask for pictures."

"I'm gonna gene edit you until you can see shrimp colors."

"I am going to befriend your wife and get her on my side of every argument."

"gonna unbalance the heat distribution in your oven."

"gonna plant kudzu in your yard."

"tell your children you're taking them to Disney for Spring break."

"put your name on political call lists."

"CG your cat into a threatening situation."

"I'm gonna create a tiktok account dedicated solely to telling the tale of your betrayal."

"Maybe we can hire a minstrel to trail after him singing rick astley"

"I will have netflix remake your favorite movie, with your least favorite director."

"I will buy your child a piccolo."

...thats all I can think of at the moment, and my tea is going cold. Enjoy?

#my life #I literally say stuff like this all day #non-online people think im hilarious

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pesterloglog · 5 months

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Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Karkat Vantas

Act 6, page 4696-4721

DAVE: hey

ROSE: Sup.

DAVE: anyone seen terezi around

ROSE: No.

ROSE: Why?

DAVE: we were gonna do a thing

DAVE: but shes not around and not answering my messages

DAVE: on any one of the probably ten thousand computers lying around that they would show up on

ROSE: A thing?

DAVE: yes a thing

ROSE: I see.

DAVE: shut up

DAVE: what about you have you seen her

KANAYA: No

KANAYA: Have You Seen Gamzee

DAVE: are you serious

DAVE: of course not

DAVE: i havent seen that guy at all since the first day we got here

DAVE: not once

KANAYA: Yeah

KANAYA: I Know

DAVE: talk about an elusive juggalo

DAVE: probably like the shyest fuckin juggalo of all time

DAVE: im pretty sure only karkats seen him

DAVE: dont expect him to rat him out either because of the "morail" junk

DAVE: moirail?

DAVE: mwah rail...

DAVE: alien words

KANAYA: I Wouldnt Expect Him To

KANAYA: I Wouldnt Even Ask It Would Be Really Bad Form To Ask Him That

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: i mean i bet you think youre imparting some really obscure cultural fact about trolls

DAVE: but really if a human said to another human

DAVE: "hey man can you tell me where your best clown friend is hiding so i can go chainsaw him to death"

DAVE: just fyi that would probably be bad form too

KANAYA: Okay

DAVE: i dunno its been a year already i think hes really intent on hiding

DAVE: and hanging on to those dead bodies

DAVE: hes probably scared to death of you at this point anyway

DAVE: maybe you should just let it go

KANAYA: Hmm

DAVE: rose back me up

ROSE: I try to stay out of troll interpersonal politics.

DAVE: interpersonal

DAVE: wait

DAVE: are you saying this is like

DAVE: a spade quadrant thing

DAVE: is she trying to be his kismet fish

ROSE: I'm saying no such thing!

DAVE: well if she hates him isnt that what that means

ROSE: Dave, don't be a dick. You're embarrassing her.

DAVE: haha no im not shes cool

DAVE: look shes being cool about it

KANAYA: Im Being Cool About It

DAVE: see????

KANAYA: Its Not Like That

KANAYA: I Just Want To Find Him

KANAYA: And

KANAYA: At Least Wound Him Somewhat

DAVE: yeah see i knew there had to be a perfectly harmless and unerotic explanation

ROSE: (shh!)

KANAYA: No

KANAYA: See Im Explaining This Badly

KANAYA: All Im Saying Is Basically

KANAYA: Just

KANAYA: Fuck That Guy

DAVE: got it

DAVE: so what are you up to in here

DAVE: whats with all these books

ROSE: Research.

ROSE: We're trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together.

ROSE: You are aware this meteor has many secret rooms scattered throughout, including libraries, right?

DAVE: hell yeah

DAVE: we looted one of them for the can town project

ROSE: Can Town?

DAVE: i told you about can town didnt i

ROSE: No??

DAVE: well

DAVE: the thing about can town

DAVE: and all there really is to say about can town is

DAVE: its awesome

DAVE: the end???

ROSE: Wow.

ROSE: What a story.

DAVE: fu

DAVE: so

DAVE: what is the point of this research

ROSE: Primarily to gain a more thorough understanding of the situation we'll be entering when we arrive.

DAVE: i thought you pretty much already knew the situation

DAVE: since you can see the future

ROSE: Oh my God.

ROSE: I've told you. I can't see the future!

DAVE: yes you can

DAVE: you totally can

ROSE: Ok. But not all of it. Only certain relevant pieces.

ROSE: It's a bit frustrating when people make that presumption about you.

ROSE: For instance, you are a Knight of Time. Since you have such mastery over time, doesn't that mean you should know everything about the future too?

DAVE: no thats totally dumb

DAVE: i could know things about the future if i time traveled and found out first hand

DAVE: nobodys mistaking that about me im a time traveler not a fuckin fortune teller its simple as shit

ROSE: Right. So there are significant limitations on what you can know, governed by certain rules.

ROSE: That's how it is for a Seer too.

DAVE: ok whatever

ROSE: But I will say that I have been able to use these abilities to assist with research.

ROSE: I can treat my finite glimpses as an additional source of information.

ROSE: If you combine that with the knowledge we've gathered from these texts, and things we've learned from our various encounters with the deceased, with a bit of inference and deduction, a more detailed picture is coming into focus.

DAVE: nice

ROSE: Do you want to hear about it?

DAVE: uh

DAVE: now?

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: Why not? It's been a year.

ROSE: It seems like all we've done on this trip so far is indulge in lavish interior decoration projects and screw around with mysterious "Can Town" initiatives, which may or may not be consuming valuable library resources as building materials.

ROSE: We could make at least some effort to squeeze in annual briefings on our objective.

DAVE: yeah that would be pretty legit of us

ROSE: I think you'll find that when it comes to striving for a reasonable approximation of legitimacy, we are simply the most barely adequate there is.

DAVE: ok i didnt really catch any of that bullshit cause i wasnt listening

DAVE: im gonna make myself a cup of coffee and get primed to listen to you saying a lot of stuff like that

DAVE: do you want some

ROSE: Um. Sure.

DAVE: kanaya?

KANAYA: No Thank You

DAVE: ok

DAVE: ...

DAVE: this fuckin thing

DAVE: where did you even unearth this piece of shit from

DAVE: oh ok there it goes

DAVE: two hot revitalizing cups of shitty coffee

DAVE: fresh out of the weird pod

DAVE: why do we even drink this shit

DAVE: i guess just cause this thing is here

DAVE: like somehow the temptation is even stronger because the coffee sucks?

DAVE: dunno how the fuck that works

DAVE: wish there was such a thing as apple juice on troll world

DAVE: could go for a bottle of aj

DAVE: i wonder if theres any booze squirreled away on this meteor

DAVE: kinda feels like we should be drinking our asses off here

DAVE: no adults nothing to do

DAVE: thats what you do without adults right

DAVE: get wasted all the time?

DAVE: wait what the fuck am i saying trolls dont even have adults

DAVE: well they do

DAVE: but theyre all in outer space being insane badasses

DAVE: i guess they do have the stupid nanny monsters

DAVE: do the monsters give a shit if they get wasted

ROSE: Are you talking to us?

DAVE: what

ROSE: We can't even hear you mumbling over there.

DAVE: oh

ROSE: How's that coffee coming?

DAVE: off the shit is how

DAVE: all being like

DAVE: in cups and everything

ROSE: Be sure it makes it to the table before it accumulates that strange unctuous film on the surface.

DAVE: so whats with the big book youre writing in

DAVE: is that more wizard fan fiction

ROSE: No, it's something like an extensive journal.

ROSE: I'm recording everything we've been through so far, and detailed notes on everything we know about the game.

ROSE: I'm also using it to document our research, and extrapolate on the new session and players.

DAVE: so its like

DAVE: your nigh unreadable gamefaq

DAVE: in tome form

ROSE: Somewhat.

DAVE: you sure like to write big game guides

ROSE: I don't look at it that way.

ROSE: I'm approaching it from a standpoint of responsible historical documentation.

ROSE: Don't you think people in the future will want to know about our story?

DAVE: i guess

ROSE: I think it could be a very useful resource some day.

ROSE: It could be helpful to others beginning their own quests.

DAVE: ehh

DAVE: chances of that seem pretty remote

KANAYA: I Really Wouldnt Rule It Out

DAVE: ok totally sold on that suddenly

DAVE: on account of not caring

DAVE: so tell me about the new session

DAVE: what is there to know

DAVE: and most importantly

DAVE: how is everything going to go wrong this time

ROSE: From what I understand, everything already has gone wrong before the game even started, in many different ways than ours did.

ROSE: There are indications of thicker political intrigue. Assassination attempts. And a usurpation of the throne more insidious than what we dealt with.

ROSE: But those examples still don't illustrate the fundamental fault with their session.

ROSE: Ours had a similar fault. It was a null session.

ROSE: Literature on the subject says null sessions are actually very common.

ROSE: It is any session resulting in failure, and as such, designed to result in failure from the start, due to Skaia's comprehensive "knowledge" of its own fate, and that of all it illumines.

ROSE: Biologically speaking, it's to be expected that null sessions far outnumber the successful ones. When it comes to reproductive systems, overwhelming redundancy is commonplace.

ROSE: A universe has a reproductive system that spreads many seeds, as it were, most of which never come to fruition. So we shouldn't feel too bad about our results, really. It was quite par for the course.

ROSE: But then, it would also seem that exceedingly few null sessions result in the birth of a massive green star fueled by two dead universes. For what it's worth.

DAVE: ok but i thought the whole point of this

DAVE: the scratch thing

DAVE: is it gave us a chance to still win

DAVE: but youre saying the new session has a fault too?

ROSE: Well, yes. There's more to it though.

ROSE: The new session is essentially our session, rebooted with different parameters which also affected the original conditions of our universe.

ROSE: And strangely, it seems the new one is a null session as well, but within a much less common subset of all null sessions.

ROSE: This one is referred to as a void session.

DAVE: ok

DAVE: which is what

ROSE: It's very simply a session in which nothing is prototyped before entry, at all.

ROSE: Hence, by Skaia's preemptive all-knowing and its influence on the rest of the incipisphere, there are not even any towers on Prospit or Derse built to receive the split kernels.

ROSE: See?

DAVE: weird

DAVE: why would these alt universe players fuck up in such an obvious and stupid way

ROSE: I don't know what specifically led to the failure to prototype anything.

ROSE: But it doesn't really matter. As I said, the session was designed this way before they began playing. Any efforts to prototype may have been in vain regardless. Possibly subject to sabotage.

DAVE: didnt you say at some point that not prototyping anything would be really bad

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: It's just another way to create an infertile session. Though by a less catastrophic and bloody route we took to achieve the same result.

ROSE: By contrast, it leads to a rather harmless, uneventful session. Underlings remain unaugmented, and so does the royalty.

ROSE: And while this may sound advantageous to the players, it's a curse in disguise. The lack of prototypings which keeps adversaries unevolved has the same influence on the battlefield.

ROSE: Without successive prototypings, the battlefield will never reach its final form, which must be fertilized to grow a new universe.

ROSE: Instead, it remains in its most basic form, stuck in eternal stalemate.

ROSE: There is nothing players in a void session can do to change this. They are resigned to live out the rest of their days in a dead end session.

DAVE: still waiting to hear how this is in any way an improvement on all the shit we just escaped from

ROSE: It's a vast improvement.

ROSE: The new session is a blank slate, without a ridiculously short time limit for victory like ours had.

ROSE: There will be no time limit at all, in fact.

ROSE: Once we arrive, ostensibly that is when the nature of the session will change.

ROSE: It won't be classifiable as either a null or void session anymore. It will be something which, as far as I can tell, is unique.

ROSE: The fully matured battlefield from our session can be used to make the new one viable. The path to success will be made possible by a combination of efforts and assets from both iterations.

ROSE: Usually scratched sessions are absolute resets, and involve no direct influence from the first attempt at all. I can't find any precedent for our situation.

DAVE: jade has our battlefield right

ROSE: Yes.

DAVE: so she shows up and drops it in skaia

DAVE: and then we take the result of all that damn frog breeding we did and stick the thing in there somehow

DAVE: and we sit back and wait for it to do its huge ribbit or whatever

DAVE: and were golden

ROSE: Pretty much.

ROSE: As long as there is an actual vacancy in the center of Skaia when we get there.

DAVE: is that going to be a problem

ROSE: I don't think so.

ROSE: Even if it were, it would be a trivial obstacle.

ROSE: But as it is, I think the forces opposing these players are clandestinely working toward the same goal as we are.

ROSE: From what I can tell, gestures of antagonism, while certainly posing legitimate danger, have been factored in as critical stepping stones to one destination shared by all parties.

ROSE: I don't know why this is, or what the motives are yet.

ROSE: The appearance is one of clear sailing ahead, but traces of conspiracy are everywhere.

DAVE: ok but

DAVE: conspiracies aside

DAVE: did it ever really look like clear sailing to you

DAVE: thats not what i was seeing

DAVE: we are going to arrive and then soon after jack is going to show up

DAVE: and then we have to beat him right

DAVE: so there kind of is a time limit

ROSE: Yes, we will have to deal with Jack before all is said and done.

ROSE: And that will definitely be a major challenge.

ROSE: But it is not impossible. At least, not by design.

ROSE: When I said there would be no time limit in this session, I was talking about something more specific.

ROSE: There will be no reckoning.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: why not

ROSE: It's a logical consequence of any void session.

ROSE: The battlefield never evolves, and therefore the more extensive war between Prospit and Derse never takes shape.

ROSE: It is only when the Prospitian king falls in battle that the reckoning can be initiated by the forces of Derse.

ROSE: The meteors then rush to destroy the battlefield, while Skaia redirects them through defense portals for as long as it can.

ROSE: Thus, if there is no war, there is no reckoning, no meteors, and no imminent threat of failure.

ROSE: This is of course good news for Earth as well. During the reckoning, Skaia redirects all incoming meteors to the only place it can. Earth.

ROSE: So it turns out that players who initiate a void session are not actually condemning their home planet to an apocalyptic wasteland after they leave.

ROSE: In the new instance of our universe, Earth is just fine.

ROSE: Sort of.

DAVE: so

DAVE: no meteors came at all

DAVE: you mean by fucking up and having to scratch we also sort of saved earth in the process

ROSE: Again: sort of.

ROSE: And it's not that there were no meteors whatsoever.

ROSE: Just the vast majority of the destructive onslaught never showed up.

ROSE: But delivering the temple to the site of the forge is still integral to jumpstarting the session.

ROSE: That meteor however could have been propelled through a portal by any means, not just via the reckoning.

DAVE: i see

DAVE: what about the players themselves

DAVE: they had to arrive on meteors too didnt they

DAVE: i guess the baby meteors were some exceptions too right

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: But they weren't flung through portals in their own session, nor will they be created there.

ROSE: They were created in our session, and sent back through our portals. Just like us.

DAVE: ................

ROSE: To understand what happened, it really helps to understand exactly what a scratch is.

ROSE: When John severely damaged the Beat Mesa on your planet, and sent it off to Skaia to release its temporal energy there, you could view it as a kind of "request."

ROSE: We were asking Skaia to change everything at a fundamental level, and we gave it the energy to do so.

ROSE: But Skaia is a very passive entity. It only "knows" and "sees," but it never quite "acts."

ROSE: When it is asked to change everything, there is only so much it has control over.

ROSE: In fact, it has control over exactly one thing. The defense portals.

ROSE: It can decide to send important meteors to different points in time than originally planned, thus creating alternate realities.

ROSE: Offshoots of promise, rather than futility.

ROSE: And it turns out the most important meteors of all tend to be the ones delivering the young players to their planet.

ROSE: So all it has to do to change everything is tweak their destination times a bit.

ROSE: All internally-prompted changes in the post-scratch universe are decided entirely by this modest adjustment to the parameters.

ROSE: It's a very simple concept, actually.

ROSE: Yet the consequences are dramatic. It results in not only a hard reset for the session, but a partial reset for the universe too, due to the many causal entanglements between a session and its originating universe.

DAVE: what do you mean tweak the destination times

DAVE: where did they get sent to

ROSE: A variety of different time periods.

ROSE: The simplest way to way to look at it is to picture the original destinations of our two groups of four ecto-babies...

ROSE: And switch them.

DAVE: what

ROSE: Though this is just a slight oversimplification.

ROSE: While it's roughly true, Skaia had some peculiar whims this time.

ROSE: While most landed in time periods corresponding with the original group,

ROSE: It seems that two of the new players arrived four centuries ahead of everyone else.

ROSE: For some bizarre reason.

DAVE: uh

ROSE: But they're still apparently able to communicate with their coplayers through I guess some Trollian-like technology, and they're still able to establish game connections with the others. So this stands as an odd but not otherwise terribly significant detail.

DAVE: so

DAVE: uh

DAVE: in this alt universe group of us and

DAVE: them

DAVE: which ones are the actual players

ROSE: I'll give you a hint.

ROSE: It isn't us.

DAVE: fuck

DAVE: why did i know that was gonna be the answer

ROSE: And to think that usually I'm the one accused of knowing the future.

DAVE: i dunno if im ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit

ROSE: You would find it less disconcerting if the players were alternate versions of us?

DAVE: man

DAVE: at least im used to dealing with alt daves

DAVE: ive been fuck deep in alt daves before

DAVE: its a goddamn delight if you want to know the truth

DAVE: but i dont even know what to think about...

ROSE: What?

ROSE: Meeting a deceased figure of authority as a peer?

DAVE: lets not even talk about it ok

DAVE: can we slow down this meteor

DAVE: delay the meetup

DAVE: maybe fight jack for a little while

ROSE: I honestly thought you would find the idea exciting.

ROSE: I know I'm looking forward to it.

DAVE: but your mom was just a nice alcoholic spinster who liked wizards who you complained about for no reason

DAVE: she wasnt anything like an untouchable master of irony who could replace the meat in your sandwich before it even occurred to you what the fuck you were chewing

DAVE: let me ask you this did your mom ever wiggle a puppet in your face even ONCE

ROSE: Not that I recall.

ROSE: But anecdotes like that just make me more curious to meet him, personally.

DAVE: fine well you can be on bro duty then

DAVE: ill be the ambassador to your mom

DAVE: and no that wasnt actually meant as the sick burn it sounded like

ROSE: She's your mom too, though.

DAVE: yeah i know

DAVE: ill be the ambassador to my mom then

DAVE: that sounds pretty stupid when i say it that way

DAVE: whatever

DAVE: ill be the fuckin one man welcome wagon for the john and jade teen old people and also our mom thats the plan

DAVE: so when we finally see them we can get our shit into formation like trained acrobats

DAVE: like ill blow a whistle and we make a human pyramid got it

DAVE: that way we can totally avoid anything awkward

ROSE: You do realize we've seen her already, right?

DAVE: what

DAVE: when

ROSE: Months ago.

ROSE: In a dream.

ROSE: She was floating along in Derse pajamas, asleep.

DAVE: wait that was her

ROSE: Yes.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: huh

DAVE: .....

ROSE: You're wondering why I didn't tell you?

DAVE: no

ROSE: You're specifically wondering why I wasn't forthcoming with an answer to your question at the time, "hey who was that choice babe in the pajamas?"

DAVE: god fucking dammit

ROSE: You don't find it nostalgic at all?

ROSE: Retracing the steps of some of our Freudian semi-blunders in conversations past?

DAVE: no what a load of shit

DAVE: stuff said between you and me before we knew we were related

DAVE: we both know that was a lot of horseplay bullfuckery between like smartass 10 year olds or whatever

DAVE: you cant seriously have taken any of that seriously

ROSE: ;)

DAVE: ugh dont ever do that

DAVE: all these fuckin

DAVE: momtraps and sistertraps

DAVE: what a joke i hope skaia gets to have a good laugh over shit like this

DAVE: wait i forgot skaia doesnt laugh it just "sees" and "knows"

DAVE: its like a huge blue perv thats mad jazzed for kidcest

KANAYA: What Are You People Even Talking About

ROSE: ;)

DAVE: dont you wink at her

DAVE: kanaya heres a protip that wink meant jack dick shes just being weird

KANAYA: I Feel As Though This Conversation Has Utterly Outmaneuvered My Constructive Involvement

KANAYA: Im Going To Go

DAVE: yeah im pretty much ollying outie too

DAVE: got some shit to attend to

DAVE: after you

KANAYA: Augh

KANAYA: Why Does That Always Happen

KARKAT: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY.

KARKAT: I GOT A LAB FULL OF HUMANS, A MOUTH FULL OF YELLING, AND A TORTURED PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE FULL OF TOTALLY HYSTERICAL EMOTIONS AND UNAIRED GRIEVANCES AT PRACTICALLY EVERYBODY.

DAVE: karkat is broken guys

KARKAT: YEAH

KARKAT: OK HOLD ON

KARKAT: IF I CAN SETTLE DOWN A TICK I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE MORE SENSE SHORTLY

KARKAT: JUST ONE...

KARKAT: *huff huff*

ROSE: Maybe you should lie down on the couch.

KARKAT: FUCK...

KARKAT: *wheeze*

KARKAT: NO

DAVE: dude what is the matter with you

KARKAT: WOW OK

KARKAT: THAT WAS A PRETTY TERRIBLE ENTRANCE.

KARKAT: ANYWAY

KARKAT: WHERE WAS I.

DAVE: dunno but i was just leaving

KARKAT: NOT SO FAST STRIDER, THIS HEAVILY CONCERNS YOU.

KARKAT: IT CONCERNS YOU EXCLUSIVELY IN FACT.

KARKAT: WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

DAVE: just stepping out to do a thing

DAVE: which is not your business

KARKAT: LIKE MY INFLAMED QUAKING GALLSPHINCTER IT'S NOT.

KARKAT: TELL ME, ARE YOU BY ANY CHANCE GOING TO HAVE SOME COMPANY WHEN YOU STEP OUT TO DO THIS "THING?"

KARKAT: NOTICE THE TWO HEAVILY DRAMATIZED "ENCLOSURE TALONS" SURROUNDING THAT WORD, WHICH I AM SCORNFULLY PANTOMIMING WITH MY OWN TWO HANDS, AS PRESENTLY BEING DEMONSTRATED FOR YOU.

DAVE: yeah sure

KARKAT: OH??

KARKAT: WHO WOULD THAT BE MAY I ASK?

DAVE: well

DAVE: probably the mayor

DAVE: hes usually down for whatever

KARKAT: I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FUCKING MAYOR, AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.

DAVE: hey dont be saying shit about the mayor

DAVE: the mayor rules hes like my best fucking friend

KARKAT: HE'S NOT A MAYOR. HE'S THE MAYOR OF FUCKSTICK JUNCTION LOCATED SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF PRETEND ASS NOWHERE.

DAVE: hes a mayor you douche his thing says mayor

KARKAT: IT SAYS "MAYO" AND HE WROTE THE "R" HIMSELF.

KARKAT: HE'S AT BEST A MAYO. AND WHO EVER HEARD OF A MAYO? IT'S EVERY BIT AS IMAGINARY AS HIS IDENTITY AS AN ELECTED OFFICIAL.

DAVE: no mayo is like grub sauce but without grubs

KARKAT: WHO THE FUCK EVER HEARD OF GRUB SAUCE WITHOUT GRUBS??? WHAT'S IT MADE OF THEN GENIUS!

DAVE: like

DAVE: uh

DAVE: i dunno its white and it just sort of exists

DAVE: you dont ask about mayo thats not what you do with mayo

KARKAT: ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW QUICKLY YOUR BULLSHIT UNRAVELS WHEN SOMEONE INTELLIGENT ACTUALLY HOLDS YOU ACCOUNTABLE??

KARKAT: YOU ARE FUCKING BUSTED STRIDER.

KARKAT: YOU ARE BUSTED ABOUT "MAYO" AND YOU ARE BUSTED ABOUT TEREZI.

DAVE: hahaha you are pathetic

DAVE: this is why you all stormed in here out of breath

DAVE: what did you actually sprint all the way across the meteor to tell me this

KARKAT: WHAT I DO WITH MY LEGS AND HOW FAST I MOVE THEM IS MY BUSINESS YOU SHIT.

DAVE: yeah and what i do with mine is mine

DAVE: watch me make them make me leave

KARKAT: I SAID STAY YOUR ASS PUT, WE'RE TALKING HERE.

DAVE: dude dont touch my cape

DAVE: ...

DAVE: huh

KARKAT: WHAT

DAVE: i cant believe i seriously just said dude dont touch my cape to somebody and was serious about it

KARKAT: OK, LOOK I'M NOWHERE NEAR YOUR PRECIOUS STUPID CAPE. JUST LISTEN.

KARKAT: BEFORE YOU GO OFF TO SNOG TEREZI IN YOUR IDIOTIC LITTLE VILLAGE OF NUTRITION CYLINDERS, HEAR ME OUT.

DAVE: man

DAVE: you are so overblowing this

KARKAT: BUT I DON'T THINK THAT I AM!

DAVE: yeah you are

DAVE: you have some idea about us or what were getting up to

DAVE: so weve done a few things together to pass the time so what

DAVE: i dont even think you could call them dates or anything

DAVE: what the fuck would even qualify as a date on this gross dark meteor

KARKAT: DAVE, CAN WE JUST CUT THE SHIT?

KARKAT: I AM NOT AN IMBECILE. YOU ARE BOTH PLAINLY TIPPING INTO FLUSHED TERRITORY IRRESPECTIVE OF ENVIRONMENTAL FACTORS OR WHATEVER LAME CONDITIONS IT IS HUMANS BELIEVE TO BE OPTIMAL FOR PURSUING A MATESPRITSHIP.

KARKAT: ANYONE CAN SEE THAT, IT'S THE SHITTIEST KEPT SECRET ON THIS METEOR. PROBABLY EVEN THE FUCKING MAYOR GETS IT, AND LET'S FACE IT, HE'S A LITTLE SLOW.

KARKAT: DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD PULL THE WOOLBEAST MATERIAL OVER THE EYES OF A HARDENED VETERAN OF ROMANTIC STUDIES?

DAVE: we have one of those???

KARKAT: I HAVE SEEN THOUSANDS OF TROLL ROMANCE FILMS, EACH DEALING WITH TOPICS FAR MORE SUBTLE AND COMPLEX THAN YOUR PEDESTRIAN HUMAN MIND COULD EVER GRASP.

KARKAT: AND IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN, I'VE ALREADY WATCHED HUNDREDS OF YOUR MORE PRIMITIVE BUT MODERATELY ENTERTAINING ROMANCE FILMS.

KARKAT: REMEMBER HOW I DOWNLOADED A FUCK TON OF THEM AFTER DISCOVERING YOUR SPECIES? I AM A CURIOUS MAN, DAVE, YOU COULD LEARN FROM ME.

DAVE: yeah i remember

DAVE: havent you only watched a bunch of shitty dane cook movies on infinite loop since we left

KARKAT: YOU'RE SEVERELY EXAGGERATING, BUT YES I HAVE SAMPLED HIS WORK.

DAVE: dude

DAVE: you know youre only pretending to be a huge fan of his bullshit to piss me off

KARKAT: AGAIN LOOK AT HOW SELF ABSORBED YOU'RE BEING!!!

KARKAT: I HAPPEN TO THINK HE HAS A BRILLIANT COMEDIC MIND, FOR A HUMAN.

DAVE: hrnngngnngghhhh

DAVE: it turns out that exact sentence is my one weakness

DAVE: you win bro you got your girl back

KARKAT: OH SHUT UP.

KARKAT: I AM NOT HERE TO DEBATE YOU ON THE FINER POINTS OF CINEMA, OR TO "GET MY GIRL BACK."

KARKAT: HOW DESPERATE DO YOU THINK I AM?

KARKAT: I'M ACTUALLY HERE TO DO THE OPPOSITE.

KARKAT: I WANTED TO TELL YOU I'M TOTALLY OK WITH IT.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: ok then

KARKAT: BUT JUST LISTEN, AND TRY TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND. I KNOW THAT'S HARD FOR YOU.

KARKAT: HERE, PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

DAVE: oh no

DAVE: what the hot mess of fresh fuck am i looking at

KARKAT: IT'S AN ALTERNIAN ROMANCE NOVEL.

KARKAT: NOW LOOK, I'M NOT VOUCHING FOR THIS PARTICULAR PIECE OF LITERATURE. IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY TRASHY AND IF YOU'RE INTERESTED I COULD RECOMMEND MUCH BETTER THINGS TO YOU.

KARKAT: IT'S JUST THIS ONE ILLUSTRATES THE CONCEPT VERY CLEARLY.

DAVE: what...

DAVE: "concept"

KARKAT: IT'S A PRETTY TYPICAL CASE OF QUADRANT VACILLATION AS APPLIED TO AN OVERLAPPING GROUP OF ROMANTIC PAIRINGS.

DAVE: you lost me at quadrant

DAVE: for future reference thats the word that always lets me know its time to check out of a sentence

KARKAT: WILL YOU PIPE DOWN AND JUST HEAR ME OUT.

KARKAT: IT'S REALLY SIMPLE. THINK OF IT AS BEING SIMILAR TO ONE OF YOUR PRIMITIVE HUMAN LOVE TRIANGLES.

KARKAT: THOUGH THIS IS A QUADRANGLE. THOSE ARE MUCH MORE COMMON IN OUR SOCIETY AND ENTERTAINMENT, AND FOUR IS PRETTY MUCH THE MINIMUM VALUE FOR LOVE-HATE N-DRANGLES.

DAVE: n drangles

DAVE: god dammit

KARKAT: NOW HERE IS WHAT'S ACTUALLY GOING ON WITH THIS GROUP OF CHARACTERS. PAY ATTENTION. HEY, LOOK AT ME. EYES OVER HERE. GOOD.

KARKAT: SEE THE TWO HEROES IN THE MIDDLE, PARTAKING IN THEIR FLUSHED EMBRACE? PRETTY MUCH YOUR TYPICAL LOWBLOOD REDROM PAIRING. THEIR DYNAMIC IS THE GRUBLOAF AND TUBER PASTE OF THE OVERALL ARC.

DAVE: .........

KARKAT: BUT WHAT HAVE WE HERE? THERE ARE SOME NEFARIOUS HIGHBLOODS IN THE PICTURE TOO. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING.

KARKAT: THE GUY ON THE LEFT IS AN OLD CALIGINOUS FLAME FROM THE MALE LOWBLOOD'S PAST, AND HAS REENTERED THE PICTURE. AGAIN, NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY. HE CAN CONTINUE TO COURT HIS MATESPRIT AND KISMESIS WITHOUT CONFLICT. IT'S A PERFECTLY AMICABLE ARRANGEMENT THAT EVERYONE'S TOTALLY DOWN WITH.

DAVE: what is that huge beefcake troll even doing

DAVE: is he grinding against the little dudes shoulder what is even going on

DAVE: why the fuck is he nude

KARKAT: NO QUESTIONS YET.

KARKAT: SO THEN THAT'S ALL FINE, PRETTY BOILERPLATE CONDITIONS FOR UNFOLDING ROMDRAMA, BUT THERE'S A TWIST.

KARKAT: THE MALE HIGHBLOOD AND LOWBLOOD START TO HAVE FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR ONE ANOTHER, AND THIS RESULTS IN SOME RED INFIDELITY BETWEEN THE LOWBLOOD PAIR.

KARKAT: OBVIOUSLY THIS IS WHERE THE FIREWORKS START GOING OFF. THE RED FEELINGS BETWEEN THE LOWBLOODS TURN TO BLACK, AND THUS BEGINS WHAT IS REFERRED TO AS QUADRANT VACILLATION.

KARKAT: MEANWHILE THE TWO MALES ARE ALSO VACILLATING BETWEEN RED AND BLACK, BECAUSE YOU DON'T JUST LET GO OF A RIVALRY SO EASILY.

DAVE: what is going on with the other chick

DAVE: all grabbing at the other one down there in the corner

KARKAT: YEAH, WELL, IT GETS EVEN MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT, PROBABLY MORE THAN NEEDED FOR THE SAKE OF MAKING THE POINT.

KARKAT: IN THE HEAT OF THEIR VACILLATION, DURING AN ESPECIALLY BLACK PHASE, THE LOWBLOOD FEMALE WAXES RED FOR A NOTORIOUS AND ESPECIALLY BRUTAL HIGHBLOOD FEMALE.

KARKAT: SO THEY HAVE THEIR THING ON THE SIDE, BUT EVEN THAT STARTS VACILLATING TOO BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL PAIR JUST KEEP SPINNING LIKE A TOP.

KARKAT: WE DON'T NEED TO GET BOGGED DOWN IN THE QUADRANGLE DYNAMIC THOUGH, AND FOR OUR PURPOSES THE 4TH PARTY IS A DISTRACTION.

DAVE: our purposes

DAVE: what the fuck are our purposes

KARKAT: THE THING IS, VACILLATION ALWAYS ADDS A LOT OF DRAMA TO EVERYTHING, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT CAN'T BE VIABLE.

KARKAT: IT CAN TOTALLY WORK, AND EVERYONE CAN BE REASONABLE ABOUT IT, IT REALLY JUST COMES DOWN TO A MATTER OF SENSIBLE SCHEDULING.

DAVE: you must be out of your fucking mind if you think i want to know where youre going with this

KARKAT: DAVE, PLEASE.

KARKAT: JUST READ THE BOOK, OK? IT'S ALL IN THE BOOK.

DAVE: im not reading that shit

DAVE: i cant even read your stupid troll language why would you think i can

KARKAT: I THINK YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER. I CAN TRANSLATE FOR YOU. I'LL READ THE WHOLE DAMN THING ALOUD IF YOU WANT.

KARKAT: SERIOUSLY, IT COULD REALLY EXPAND YOUR LIMITED HUMAN THINK PAN ON STUFF.

KARKAT: THERE'S A LOT HERE THAT'S APPLICABLE TO OUR SITUATION.

DAVE: there is nothing even slightly applicable about any of that bullshit to our situation

KARKAT: DON'T BE DENSE. OF COURSE THERE IS.

KARKAT: TEREZI AND I HAVE BEEN ON THE VERGE OF VACILLATING LIKE THIS FOR A LONG TIME.

KARKAT: IT'S ABOUT TIME WE KILLED THE SUSPENSE AND JUST ACKNOWLEDGED IT.

KARKAT: YOU AND SHE SEEM BENT ON DEVELOPING SOMETHING IN THE FLUSHED QUADRANT, AND LIKE I SAID, I'M FINE WITH THAT.

KARKAT: IF WE CAN JUST GET OUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT, WE CAN BE LIKE THESE VACILLATING PAIRS THAT ALTERNATE BETWEEN RED AND BLACK, BUT IN A WAY THAT'S COMPLEMENTARY WITH EACH OTHER'S PATTERNS.

DAVE: oh my god

DAVE: why is this happening

KARKAT: LIKE WHILE SHE AND I ARE BLACK, YOU AND SHE ARE RED.

KARKAT: BUT THEN WHEN SHE AND I ARE RED, YOU AND SHE... I DON'T KNOW IF HUMANS ARE REALLY CAPABLE OF BLACK FEELINGS?

KARKAT: I GUESS THAT'S UP TO YOU. MAYBE YOU CAN JUST LIKE, SIT THOSE PERIODS OUT.

KARKAT: LIKE TAKE A BREAK, YOU KNOW?

DAVE: youve completely lost it dude

DAVE: i cant believe for a fucking second this is reasonable shit to propose even on troll world

DAVE: you just

DAVE: totally snapped

KARKAT: SNAPPED LIKE A FUCKING FOX. THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

KARKAT: LIKE I SAID, IT'S JUST A MATTER OF RESPONSIBLE SCHEDULING.

KARKAT: HERE LET ME SHOW YOU.

KARKAT: I NEED SOME PAPER. WHERE'S SOME PAPER.

DAVE: hnnrrghh

KARKAT: LOOK, IT'S PERFECTLY SIMPLE.

KARKAT: HANG ON WHILE I DRAW THE GUIDELINES.

DAVE: oh no

DAVE: no you are NOT making another shipping grid dude

KARKAT: IT'S NOT A SHIPPING GRID.

KARKAT: JUST SOME ROWS AND COLUMNS FOR A SCHEDULE.

DAVE: its a grid youre drawing a goddamn grid

DAVE: im not letting you draw a grid for this stupid shit

KARKAT: COME ON, LOOK HERE. THESE ARE THE DAYS OF THE WEEK.

KARKAT: THEN WE EACH HAVE ROWS FOR THOSE DAYS AND WE CAN DRAW A HEART OR A SPADE FOR ANY GIVEN DAY.

KARKAT: THAT WAY WE KNOW WHAT'S UP IN ADVANCE, AND AVOID UNPLEASANT CONFLICTS.

DAVE: put the fucking pen down

KARKAT: HEY, CUT IT OUT. DON'T TOUCH ME.

DAVE: do not draw a shipping grid

DAVE: do not do it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT A SHIPPING GRID YOU OBTUSE FUCK.

DAVE: this is fucked up put it down

KARKAT: NO.

DAVE: you are not drawing a grid to organize our goddamn dating lives

DAVE: that is some straight up crackpot motherfuckin noise i will not abide

KARKAT: FUCK YOU. LET ME DRAW.

DAVE: stop drawing the shipping grid

KARKAT: *IT IS NOT A SHIPPING GRID*

KARKAT: THIS IS NOT SHIPPING YOU HEINOUS TOOL, THIS IS COMMON SENSE.

DAVE: you will not draw anything that even remotely resembles a grid

DAVE: do not draw an arrangement of squares or otherwise interlocking polygons

KARKAT: LET GO.

DAVE: you will not draw a spreadsheet for the purpose of allocating time spent with a mutual girlfriend you horses ass

DAVE: that is exactly the shit i do not want to see

KARKAT: LOOK, I JUST DREW A SQUARE.

KARKAT: GET READY TO SEE A LOT MORE OF THOSE!

DAVE: no

DAVE: stop

DAVE: do not draw any additional squares

DAVE: do not draw any quadrilaterals or trapezoids or rectangles or fucking n-drangles and especially as fuck not any god damned rhombuses

DAVE: i dont want to see your lines making any right angles do you understand

KARKAT: IN MY MIND'S EYE I AM PICTURING A BEAUTIFUL LATTICE OF LINES AND COMPARTMENTS, INTERLOCKING WITH SUBLIME PRECISION AT NINETY DEGREE ANGLES.

KARKAT: I IMAGINE THIS MODULAR RETICULATION AS AN ELEGANT VESSEL, IF YOU WILL, FOR THE GRAND SYNTHESIS OF OUR SHARED SHIPPING DREAMS.

DAVE: no

DAVE: that is the perfect example of what you shouldnt be drawing

KARKAT: YES

DAVE: no

KARKAT: FUCK YES

KARKAT: OOH LOOK, ANOTHER SQUARE, SORT OF.

KARKAT: KIND OF WOBBLY! IT'LL HAVE TO DO.

DAVE: no you fuck

KARKAT: WAIT, I THINK IT'S COMING.

KARKAT: HERE IT COMES, MY FIRST "SHIP", IT'S GOING IN THE SQUARE!

DAVE: put the goddamn pen down

DAVE: you piece of shit

KARKAT: HELL NO.

DAVE: yes

KARKAT: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??

KARKAT: OW, FUCK.

DAVE: this is so sick does she even know youre doing this

KARKAT: DOING WHAT??

DAVE: splitting up her time in a grid for your stupid rotating hate date plan

KARKAT: SHE WILL SOON ENOUGH.

DAVE: what a presumptuous sack of shit put the pen down

KARKAT: NO, I'M DRAWING.

DAVE: step away from your dumb ugly scribble grid

KARKAT: GET LOST.

DAVE: youre messing up roses book

KARKAT: YOU SMELL BAD.

DAVE: dont talk to me about rank smells

DAVE: you are the fuckin big man of smellin bad

DAVE: you dominate the paint with your stonk

KARKAT: MY LUSUS BROUGHT THINGS HOME THAT SMELLED MORE APPEALING THAN YOU.

KARKAT: IMPORTANT FACT: 100% OF WHAT HE BROUGHT HOME WAS EITHER A DEAD ANIMAL, OR LITERAL FECES.

DAVE: oh yeah well check it out:

DAVE: you smell like if someone took a dump on a butt

KARKAT: HOW CAN SHE STAND YOU WITH HER SENSITIVE NOSE?

KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER EVEN WASHED THAT RIDICULOUS OUTFIT?

DAVE: theyre magic fucking pajamas they stay like perma clean or something

DAVE: theyre enchanted and comfy as fuck give me the pen

KARKAT: NO, IT'S MINE NOW. I'M KEEPING IT ON PRINCIPLE.

DAVE: karkat whoa man what are you doing

DAVE: why are you drawing all these human dicks

DAVE: how do you even know what they look like what have you been watching??

KARKAT: I'M NOT DRAWING THOSE!!!!!!!

KARKAT: YOU'RE MAKING ME DRAW THEM, STOP THAT.

DAVE: no way

DAVE: this book is now like

DAVE: our fight fueled ouija board of cock

KARKAT: ARGH... STOP!

KARKAT: DON'T

KARKAT: NO FUCK

KARKAT: OK NO

KARKAT: YOU DREW THAT ONE

KARKAT: YOU DREW THAT ONE!!!!

KARKAT: DON'T PRETEND YOU DIDN'T!

DAVE: are you sure man

DAVE: thats the spooky thing about penis ouija you can never be sure who did the dicks

DAVE: was it you or me or maybe a ghoooost???

KARKAT: FUUUUUUUCK LET GO OF ME!

DAVE: gimme the pen

KARKAT: NO

DAVE: yes

KARKAT: NO

DAVE: yes

KARKAT: FINE TAKE IT!

DAVE: no

KARKAT: WHAT??

DAVE: were still drawing

KARKAT: LET GO

DAVE: are you kidding this is a fucking masterpiece we have to see this through

KARKAT: I'M TRYING TO LET GO OF THE STUPID PEN BUT YOU WON'T LET ME

DAVE: we are in the shit now

DAVE: we are motherfuckin entrenched in this bitch

KARKAT: YOU CRAZY FUCK

DAVE: were running out of room rose can you turn the page for us

KARKAT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: THIS ALTERCATION IS BECOMING UNCOMFORTABLY PHYSICAL, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.

DAVE: what are you talking about

KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

DAVE: shut up and draw another penis

KARKAT: YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE SOCIAL IMPLICATIONS OF ALL THIS HOSTILE TOUCHING AND GRABBING DO YOU???

KARKAT: I DON'T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU STRIDER, JUST STEP OFF.

DAVE: man if you want to look at this that way then thats your business

DAVE: this is just an old fashioned beatdown where im from deal with it

KARKAT: WHY DON'T YOU OLD FASHIONED GO FUCK YOURSELF?

DAVE: stop biting my cape

KARKAT: FUFCK NYOUF.

KARKAT: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

DAVE: shit!

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0wllight · 21 days

Note

tell the class all your favorite parts about sova maybe? like what made you really fall for him and all of that!

ok this also might get long i am sorry. thank u for the ask tho its nice to hvae smth to do. either way uhh lets get started

ok so i might have mentioned this but i had a small crush on him a few years ago? i think since like 2022. back then i shipped with cypher and was super fixated on him but i think sova was always in the back of my brain as a crush, although at the time i only had him as a platonic. also cuz one of my good friends who doesnt anymore used to ship with him so i didnt wanna overstep or anything.

anyways im not even sure how i suddenly decided to latch onto him, i think my fixation on yone at the time was starting to fade and my brain just randomly chose to fixate on him even tho he was still a crush at the back of my brain lol. and look where we are now/lh

as for what i like abt him, i think one of the biggest things i like is how polite he is/kind to others. i think thats like a rlly important trait in someone for me if i were like to date someone else and hes just rlly nice in general and very lovely, hes such a big sweetheart :)

also ok im gonna sound crazy here but my friends keep saying im a circle bcuz he rlly fits one of my types which is like the holy trinity of yone vergil and wyll. who are all like, responsible, serious, yet like kind and deeply caring. and sova definitely fits into that archetype haha even though hes not exactly the same?? most of those guys arent exactly the same but theres a huge overlap of similarity with them.

i do also think he is very pretty even tho he is unfortunately white/lh :') (or at least i smacked this guy with the asian beam. get wasian'd) idk i suck at explaining exactly why i like this guy, again i think a big part of it is how kind he is to others!! its again just smth i rlly value in a partner, he genuinely cares about others/esp people hes close to like his grandma. and is very thoughtful. also i like that hes super down to earth and humble like this guy is incredibly talented yet never brags about it at all hes just very modest. smug people drive me nuts so im glad hes not like that lol. he also is very passionate abt his interests like archery and also he does photography! i like to think he also does things like hiking, birdwatching and maybe some gardening in his spare time. idk its a shame we dont get too too much info about val characters although the lore is always constantly growing. i do think he does like lots of outdoorsy hobbies hes very respectful to and attuned with nature i think.

sorry this is getting so long omg. im trying to think of any last things to throw in... i think another thing i rlly love abt him is how calm he is. it kinda balances me out bcuz i tend to be a really hotheaded person but it takes a LOT for him to get bothered by something, or at least lose his temper. in the lore we've never really seen him lose his temper or anything like that? the closest it's gotten is that one image when they were releasing fade where it was like a flashback to him losing his eye and he looked super animalistic. actually i think that in general for him to get that mad or whatever it would probably have to involve one of his loved ones being in danger. which is nice bcuz it shows that he rlly cares.

anyways this is getting so long so i will cut it short but i love my wife <3

#ask #answered #srry for the insane ramble #thank u for da ask tho!!#i love my wife <3 #ky shut up #my post #ship: walk on memories

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mpregfrance · 6 months

Note

Do you have any pink genre recs in terms of music? I want to get more into the genre.

-Hypermobile Françoise anon

hello!!! do you have any idea how hard this is for me to answer. i love rambling and being pedantic and going off on tangents. almost as much as i love punk music...

tl;dr i compiled a playlist for you, containing 3 songs from (most of) the bands mentioned below, plus a few extra from miscellanious artists bc 54 is my lucky number. it was hard to choose just 3 from some of my faves but i feel like this is a good introduction. long post to follow <3

instead of simply giving you a list and sending you on your merry way, i am absolutely going to spout off bc thats what i do and ur gonna regret asking. do you think you were gonna get off that easy? you absolute fool. sit ur ass down ur about to get schooled.

disclaimer; this isn't exhaustive. i'm not rattling off every single punk artist that's ever existed. just a few of my favorites.

the clash, the quintessential punk band in my opinion. defined the genre and embodied the political ethos. explored different subgenres througout their expansive discography. they were probably my first introduction to music as a whole since they're my dad's favorite band. i may be biased but i'd definitely say start with the clash. i'd recommend listening to their third album, london calling, first.

the pogues - the folk punk band of all time. NOT folk-punk like some smelly white man with dreadlocks screaming over poorly-tuned guitar. you'll know exactly what i mean when you hear it. they have a unique sound that just can't be replicated. and shane macgowan is actually such a beautiful person. their lyrics are also politically tinged, kinda gritty and edgy (i.e. gratuitous slurs) so not for senstive ears.

(i actually have a playlist of my fave pogues/shane macgowan songs)

the cure, in my opinion, invented goth or at least popularized it. their earlier stuff had more of a punk sound but every one of their albums is a perfect 10 to me. they're one of my favorite bands of all time and i could go on about them for hours so i'll leave it there. joy division, also more goth/post-punk but i love them, i have one of their album covers tattooed on my forearm lmao 19 year old decisions. no regrets (i also love the smiths, but they're not really punk punk.)

before you ask, no sex pistols!!! don't get me started on how much i hate the sex pistols i will throw up! god they suck. to me at least.

a lot of punks also listen to ska - no, not that kind of ska. 70/80s ska that originated from rocksteady/reggae. some of my faves in that arena being madness, the specials, bad manners, and the beat.

and as for across the pond - american punk artists.

johnny cash. no, seriously. man was punk before punk was defined.

my favorite band is probably social distortion. they're pretty different than those mentioned above, owing to their unmistakable americana sound and aesthetic. to me they're the quintessential rockabilly revival band, heavily influenced by country and blues. great guitar licks. think wistful and reckless all at once.

their frontman mike ness is an outrageously gorgeous man. he has two solo albums that absolutely slap. the happiest day of my life was seeing them live a couple years ago and he winked right at me - i promise i'm not delusional i swear he really did. ok i digress.

dead kennedys - hilarious lyrics and sick ass bass lines, very political and generally pretty iconic. one of my dad's faves. the cramps and the misfits. two bands overlapping goth + punk + psychobilly. pioneers of a campy subgenre known as horror-punk. i also really like danzig, the misfits frontman's solo career.

the velvet underground/lou reed - great example of american proto-punk. very NYC vibes. the pixies are a more grungy, later punk band. one of my mommy's favorites <3 i would unironically name my child velouria. definitely iconic but i find them overplayed sometimes, as in you've probably heard them at the grocery store.

this barely scratches the surface btw but i think that about covers it for today. sorry if i bored you to death pls come back and keep me company. peace and love on planet mpregfrance <3

#thank u as always anon #ask and ye shall receive #punk #music recs #spotify #playlist #punk playlist #ska #goth #psychobilly #rockabilly

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whumpshaped · 8 months

Text

hey does anyone wanna see a new demon i made yesterday.

picrew

hes rosier. heres some rosier lore copied from the server

for context, in the angel demon au i have with mill (@whumpsday), bellamy is prince of hell (the devil's son) but hes still unmistakably bellamy. so as soon as he can he kills the devil, takes over, and reforms hell entirely by killing off the powerful sadists, forcing everyone else into submission, bribing those who just want power and are willing to help with the reform, and puts laws in place to protect lesser demons and fallen angels. he comes up with the idea of angel sanctuaries where the fallen can be protected. and he needs guards for those sanctuaries. thats where rosier comes in, because hes powerful yet not very interested in torture and has never hurt angels before (a clean record is required)

rosier.. "and by his sweet and sugared words, he tempteth men to fall in love." his eye got messed up by some magic damage. he uh. couldnt fix it bc it was by the devil and its just..... sort of messed up forever

rosier is sort of inspired by big cats. but not in a shax way. shax is like a housecat. rosier is a jaguar/tiger/lion/just anything big and dangerous ok

but hes also just very tired of killing and torture. the devil halfway blinding him was like the last straw and he just left. went away to the most desolate fucking place he could find and just stayed there

then he heard bellamy killed the devil, which he had zero interest in bc surely the heir must be as insufferable as the father. then he slowly hears abt the reforms and he slithers back. just to take a look at least. and .. well its all very different

he sees a poster abt open positions at the angel sanctuary. his record is clean of any angel abuse. he did torture human souls for a good while which he found no particular enjoyment in. then he just turned to feeding on lesser demons, sometimes killing them to see if it sparks anything. but more and more hes thinking maybe hes just not into that. but he has all this power.... and theres all these defenceless angels here. and if that means an audition w the new devil? well. hes in

he has this very calmly confident air abt him. but hes very polite, very compliant

rosier is kind of on the same level as asta. he could likely take zyr in a fair and a dirty fight both actually

i wouldnt say hes necessarily a good character. hes indifferent a lot of times. and he also doesnt step in bc its not worth it. he goes to earth and sleeps w ppl and clearly takes advantage of them. he kills. he used to torture. he didnt stop out of moral qualms rly he stopped bc it wasnt smth he liked doing.

but then he does get into the moral side of it when he starts working for bellamy. and as he gets to know bellamy better he gets into it even more

he feeds primarily on lust, sexual pleasure and fear.

and now i must admit i made him specifically to seduce bellamy. i have created a new blorbo doll to shove towards mill's blorbo and i am saying "now kith"

AND NOW SOME FLIRTY.

rosier also very much finds bellamy attractive but doesnt even think about doing anything abt it until he sees bellamy swooning. and then hes like. aha. fair game then. and begins making the subtlest comments

he also immensely enjoys seeing bellamy flustered. he thinks its the cutest thing. he loooves that bellamy tries to hide it but cant

but also rosier has a good sense of descerning when hes allowed to flirt, and hes otherwise very much focused on his job and knows his place. he wont ever embarrass bellamy or challenge his authority. not unless its just the two of them and tasks for the day have been dealt with and he can play around :)

i cant get the image of this overused trope out of my head. the "hey boss u look tired" [gives gentle massage]

"relax, your majesty. everythings going well. you can stop and breathe for a minute."

(context: bellamy is a vegetarian in the au, VERY strange for a demon because demons usually eat meat. and raw meat at that)

also also the first time when rosier asks him out and it starts out as if hes abt to make some request regarding his position/job but then its like "your majesty if i may be so bold- i noticed you havent had a proper break in a while and as your loyal servant i cannot approve of such behaviour. ive prepared some food and i'd be honoured if you graced me with your presence :)" and its all absolutely free of meat. no meat whatsoever. rosier isnt even eating meat. and its fucken gourmet stuff and not the sort of food the devil made for him thats like..... well this was the first thing i saw on the human market that didnt have meat in it here u go. its actually well thought out and yummy and amazing and rosier is very proud of it bc he made it himself but he absolutely wont reveal that fact until he sees that bellamy loves it

(in response to bellamy gushing about his angels. bellamy has a BUNCH of angels who are bonded to him, and he affectionately refers to them as "his flock")

rosier loves to listen to him when he gets like that. he loooves how passionate bellamy is about making an impact. and it gets him into the whole angel thing sooo much. he ends up sort of collecting his own flock, not by bonds but just on an emotional basis. he tells bellamy he has no idea how it happened but the angels seem to love him a lot lol he gives bellamy all the credit for it tbh. "it wouldve been unthinkable before, you know. ive met angels before the sanctuary system, and their first reaction was not to be concerned about my eye. everythings so.. different now. its nice."

ok thats all thank u stan rosier

#got under your skin #rosier

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leclerced · 4 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/enchantecafe/738701264923328512/ive-been-thinking-recently-probably-because-of

Omg this made me laugh sm. So im german and i just imagined bringing lando with me to my grandma and he’s thinking „ok german food wont be a problem, schnitzel is great and bratwurst is also easy, i eat that at home“. His reaction when he sees a fucking mettigel for the first time, pure horror (you should google it). I imagine pulling him into a bathroom bc its kale season and he needs to help me wash 40kg (88lbs) kale in the bathtub and sees all the insects coming out of it? And how 8 full Bathtubs shrink down to 3 big pots??? He‘d faint if he were to witness germans yell at each other over the correct name of a Berliner (its berliner). Poor boy would be so confused about why asparagus season is taken so seriously here 😭

And the worst part, im from Wolfsburg (the home city of Volkswagen) and he has to sit there and listen to why the VW Ketchup has a serial number like the car parts at the factory or how there was a „ketchup gate“.

🫀

link

okay sorry i didn’t answer this when u sent it but ugh. i love this sooo much it made me laugh sm. i kept rereading it all day and giggling. god i want to go to germany so bad.

lando would walk in and see the mettigel and immediately be like, “oh fuck i have to eat that?” he’d panic internally soo bad until she shows him the foods he will eat, ones she specifically asked to be made so he wouldn’t starve. i can so imagine his gfs brothers or like the kids of the family teasing him with weird foods, like when carlos tried getting him to eat sushi!! lando’s politely declining and trying not to gag at the sight.

the kale thing is so fucking funny. 88 lbs of kale??? 8 full tubs of kale??? what are u cookin ?? who eats that much kale??? this sounds like one of those math problems where someone buys 78 bottles of soda and you have to determine the final cost with tax.

all that kale and it all shrinks down to 3 big pots???? oh my fucking god thats insane!!!!!!!! lando would not be eating it after he sees all the bugs. he would never eat kale again because he knows bugs have been on it before. he gets served a sandwich with kale on it at a restaurant and can’t eat it because it has been touched by a bug.

i like asparagus when its grilled or sautéed but at thanksgiving this year my grandma made creamed asparagus with canned asparagus and it was genuinely the worst thing i have eaten in years but it was the only side and i felt bad about only eating ham and rolls. i could go on n on about that but i will not rn unless u all want to hear ab my holiday shenanigans but i assume yall prob don’t care to hear me complain ab the menu at family dinner.

its so so cool ur from where vw is from!! u could take him on a tour of the factory and stuff i think he’d like that a lot!! take him w the whole fam and everyone is telling him ab the lore

i’m from the town where dr pepper was invented humble brag!!! there is a museum in an old bottling factory and you can go and make your own soda its sooo cool. i haven’t been since i was a kid but i love it. there’s another museum there with this mammoth exhibit, i can’t remember if these are cast replicas or if they excavated some, but there’s a display in the museum and you get to walk on top of it on this glass floor and its absolutely incredible. look at this!!!! i used to sit and analyze these fossils for as long as i could. there’s also the mammoth monument you can visit where they discovered the mammoths!! you can read about it here if ur a nerd like me

#ask #🫀anon #sorry for nerding out i love my hometown and its lil quirks

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thai-with-booty · 1 year

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What was your first experience like with a Black (Afrikan) Man?

I had been with black guys when working in the bar, most customers were white Europeans, north Americans and Australians but there were all sorts of races and nationalities, so the longer you worked there the more chance u had experienced many. There was a bit of a thing where some girls didnt like certain men, but thats a whole other discussion.

I guess to answer your question more directly as being with a black guy from an African country, I remember it quite well as I had a friend when living in Bangkok who was dating a black guy and was kinda into them, they broke up but she knew what she liked and there was a bar near Nana plaza in Bangkok, and although anyone could go in, it was known as a black guy bar, well more it was mostly black men and women, with a few Thai women and occasionally a few white guys and girls but very predominantly black. They were mostly people who worked here too. Me and my friend almost immediately got swooped upon, she has a figure like mine so seemed to be popular. It was like any other evening, you dance, have drinks, talk etc. My friend says she will go home with the guy shes talking to, she left me there as I said id be ok to get home. I remember thinking it was early so I already decided in my head I could have a little fun, so I went with the guy I was with all evening, he gave the name John and had a strong accent and said he was Nigerian. He said I could come his apartment but that he shared it with many others so being in that area we could get a short time hotel room. I kinda liked that it wasnt bullshit, he was going with me cos he wanted sex, no pretence of going somewhere quieter lol. I remember the look of the girl at reception as we paid for the room, but i have been used to those looks before and I love it. In the room he informs me he doesnt do oral sex but that I should do for him, this sort of thing again didnt bother me, I was with plenty of men as a bar girl where I would have to do the work. But wow, John had a lovely big cock, thicc, and I remember the balls, like two tennis balls. The thing I remember most about sex with him was those big balls slapping against me, the noise I remember like it was yesterday. The sex was usual which is good but I have a lot of sex. He lasted a good time where I was enjoy and came easily with him, he finished while wearing a condom inside of me. Pulled out and threw it in the trash. Polite man, big cock, strong body and good sex, my first experience with a black African man was good and so it wasnt my last lol

#black guys #bbc #african #bar girl

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pocketramblr · 1 year

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Everything I see about stormlight is exactly the kind of thing I'd love to read I think except there are so many books and I have no fucking clue where to even start. So... suggestions pls?

Local libraries (I have 5 library cards for different cities) unfortunately have very little Sanderson, but I do have a £10 voucher for waterstones that I need to spend in the next year sooooo

oh hohoho ok yes i can answer this question very normally while vibrating an average amount

So, Stormlight Archive itself is a (fairly) straightforward series, but it's part of a bigger Cosmere series that is, uh, less so. I do recommend reading Mistborn at some point, since it's kinda his breakout series and will be important but uhhh i haven't done that and when in doubt you can look everything up on the wiki so anyway, here's Pocket's Reading Order

1- Warbreaker. This one is set on a different planet than Stormlight, but it's first for a couple reasons. One: it's free to read online at Sanderson's website. Two: four characters (so far) show back up in Stormlight after Warbreaker and i love them so you should know about them going in. Three: it does a good job kinda breaking down a lot of the magic workings in the Cosmere.

read it here

2- Emperor's Soul. I actually read this before i read Warbreaker but it does a REALLY good job at breaking down the magic more. I'd say this one is optional though, it's a shorter little novella and doesn't really impact the main Stormlight storyline (it's on another different planet). I'd say it kinda helps you grasp Sanderson's reading style more, because you're kinda gonna need to trust him going into Stormlight. but if you already are sold, this one isn't too vital since it can be harder to find. (on its own for audiobook, or in Arcanum Unbound collection)

3- The Way of Kings, Stormlight Archive Book One. Look. this book has three prologues and is much bigger than Warbreaker or Emperor's Soul. You've got to trust him but it's worth it. Honestly if you skipped ES, a lot of the magic explanation gets there anyway through the book, just broken up a bit more.

note: DO NOT read Way of Kings Prime, his first draft of the book. its um. its really a first draft. noncanon, a lot of the cool stuff wasnt in it yet.

4- Words of Radiance, Stormlight Archive Book Two

The sequel!

5- Edgedancer, a Stormlight Novella. Yeah you don't want to move on to book three without reading this one. Um, you can find Edgedancer in Arcanum Unbound, the same collection that Emperor's Soul is in. There are probably standalone versions of it somewhere but im not sure where. all else fails, the Coppermind Wiki has very good summaries if you want to read those to move past it. (thats uh,,,, what i did with the first mistborn trilogy oops)

5- Oathbringer, Stormlight Book Three

6- Dawnshard, a Stormlight Novella. (Lie! it's actually just long enough to be a novel but everyone very politely pretends its a novella. this one you can get by itself and ahem. if you want to borrow my copy you just let me know once you get there.)

7- Rhythm of War, Stormlight Book Four

im uh. not gonna lie to you. this book is kinda the 'lowest of lows' emotionally, it gets real dark. im p sure Brandon actually published it with a trigger warning. but its REALLY GOOD just ugh. delicious.

That's all the Stormlight books that are out so far, but uh, book Five releases 2024 and there'll probably be another novella between four and five since there was a 2.5 and 3.5 novella but thats it so far.

so yeah get started with Warbreaker maybe? then see what libraries around you have the other stuff.

#theres a joke about the true cosmere reading order being the warbreaker reading order #where you read warbreaker between every single book as you go through #its not a joke i love warbreaker and i LOVE the characters that show back up in stormligt #mmmmmm Nightblood my adored #i wont say who the others are bc warbreaker spoilers of course but #they're my little squeaky toy and my utter adored and my clown guy #but of course the real star of Stormlight is kaladin and his drift compatible fairy princess sylphrenaaaaa loves loves loves #anon #pocket talks to people #i hope this answer was. helpful. more helpful than it looks kjhgjk

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athetos · 10 months

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hi i want punk recs! currently literally the only two things i consisently listen to are my chemical romance and joy division. my previous attempts of getting into punk have been thwarted by the fact that i dont like overtly political lyrics? like im ok with political music i just prefer the lyrics to be a bit more.. metaphorical about it. if thats too much to ask tho feel free to dunk on me

Mcr and joy division are sick as fuck good choices

Punk is by nature a more political genre and so finding bands that don’t discuss politics in their lyrics is uncommon, but I understand the search for something less blunt at times.

For recommendations, I would start with emo-adjacent bands a la my chemical romance. Here are some off the top of my head:

Senses Fail - one of the first punk bands I’ve gotten into, and still one of my favorites. Their sound ranges from post-hardcore to emo to pop punk to metal-ish. If you don’t know those genres that’s fine, they just have a LOT of variety in their songs. Lyrics can occasionally be political but can also be concept albums like mcr, or deal with mental illness, being queer, personal stuff, etc. highly recommended

AFI - their old stuff is more purist punk but their more recent material is more emo/alt rock even. Another very diverse sounding band that’s highly recommended.

Pinkshift - one of the best new bands to the scene, a huge favorite. They’re supported by anti-flag, so you know they’re legit. Only one full album right now and it’s full of bangers.

Alkaline Trio - a more gothic punk act that, they have a very large discography so there’s likely something to love! Radio is perhaps one of the most iconic breakup songs.

The interrupters - punk infused with a bit of ska, very fun and catchy songs, some songs are more political but others are about punk community and overcoming hurdles in life.

Jawbreaker - one of the most iconic acts, one of the big inspirations for the emo scene, too. Community heavily divided one what is their best album but I think they’re all fantastic.

Misfits - shocked I didn’t think of this one sooner, as they’re a huge influences on my Chem. Horror punk that has some, uh, I suppose ‘problematic’ themes at time but is a classic for good reason (like most horror).

I think those are some good starting points… I hope they at least set you in the right direction!

#customer support #music recs

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did-you-fall-for-a-shooting-star · 4 months

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ok so this ask is part invitation to ramble/infodump about chemistry stuff and part ask abt why u chose/enjoyed chemistry as ur major (pls idk what to do with my life lol. i like chemistry but idk if its enough to do it like as a career yknow?)

HELLO ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE JUST ASKED FOR

Okay. For starters I actually didn’t go into college with the intent of being a chemist. My original major was secondary education with a focus in chemistry. Aka I wanted to teach high school chem. And that was because of my high school chem teacher, he was amazing and inspired me. I felt like I learned so much in his classes and I wanted to be like him and inspire others

Obviously thats not the route that ended up happening

Throughout my first few years, I got really involved in the chemistry clubs on my campus (ACS, GSE, etc). There was a lot of community in the chemistry department and thats where I made a lot of my friends too. I had people to study with and we helped each other, there wasnt a lot of competition. Once we got to o chem we were all just trying to survive lol.

Meanwhile, in the education department, over the years I grew more and more critical of it. It felt very cold and inhospitable. I barely knew my classmates. It felt more like a job in that it just kinda wore me down. And dont get me wrong! I LOVED my kids. I loved the actual teaching part. It was amazing. I made it all the way to student teaching because of my love for those kids. BUT. After covid hit. The education world got weird. It got too political. Its not about the kids anymore, its about doing whatever administration says. And I just couldnt take it.

A month before I would have graduated, I switched my major. Admittedly, it had been something I was thinking about since my junior year. I had taken analytical and environmental chemistry the same semester and really felt like I found my niche. (Please note here: there is no chemist who is good at all types of chemistry).

I ended up taking a 5th year to finish out a chemistry degree and get a math minor as well. I was really nervous about that decision, but that last year made me feel so much more sure of myself. I took a third analytical class, quantum mechanics, and inorganic chemistry (among other things like biochem). I learned I was *really* good at those things (unlike biochem Im lucky I passed that one). And now I have a job. Doing some instrumental work and data analysis

So I guess my decision to go into chem in the first place is just because the teacher who inspired me happened to be teaching me chemistry (though I was always a fan of science at heart)

As far as liking it enough to make it a career… well… I’ve discovered that I dont think I’m personally going to like anything for 40 hours a week for the rest of my life. And thats probably because Im out of an academic environment now, but yeah. My goal is to be able to have a chemistry job part time. Because full time just kinda makes me dread it. And Im lucky to have things in the works that might let that come to fruition in the next few years, butttttttt. Thats more of a critique on society as a whole than specifically chemistry

#IM SO SORRY THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS #screaming.to.the.gods #mail tag

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