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theshadowrealmitself · 1 year

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It’s sad but the best version of Peter Parker to me (probably because it’s the most relatable one) is when he’s broke as hell, but at a certain point it doesn’t make sense for him to be such a genius without running a tech company, so here’s the bs reasons he’s still broke in the au’s I imagine:

He can’t partner up with anyone because everyone knows what happened with Dr. Connors, Dr. Octavius, and, depending on the au, Norman Osborn, which no one thinks Norman was working with Peter, but he is another person who knew Peter and became a supervillain

Essentially, everyone thinks he’s cursed™️

And he can’t sell any of his inventions on his own to start funding his own company because S.H.I.E.L.D. keeps getting involved and stopping it, both because whatever he creates works way too well and they don’t want it to fall into the wrong hands, and also because they’re all pretty sure that Peter’s gonna turn into a supervillain and they’re trying to stop him from gaining any power to do so

Also, because of all the above reasons, and because the best Peter Parker in my opinion is one that’s tired, snarky, and has a bit of an anger problem, that along with his genius, accidentally has everyone convinced he’s a supervillain in the making, the very specific dynamic that I picture Reed Richards having with him before he finds out he’s Spiderman is:

Peter Parker reminds him of Dr. Doom, he’s got the smarts, the anger, he’s a loner, and the way he commiserates on everything stopping him from achieving his goals (that famous way he blames his Parker luck on everything), just all reminds him of Victor, back when they attended college together

So he doesn’t get Peter to work with him, although he’d make such a promising mentee, cause he doesn’t need to accidentally get another supervillain to declare war on him, but also because he reminds him of Victor he can’t stay away, wanting some version of him to “see the light”

So occasionally he’ll begrudgingly team up with Peter Parker and the entire time he’ll awkwardly preach the merits of using science for Good™️ and how following villainy will only leave a person feeling empty inside, as his way of having a second chance at reaching Victor before he becomes Dr. Doom

Peter, meanwhile, has no idea this is how Reed sees their interactions, he’s just so happy whenever he gets a chance to work with one of his science heroes (then his identity eventually gets revealed and Reed has no idea how to view Peter)

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liquidstar · 5 months

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Yes, Greece still exists, we didn't all die 2000 years ago. Yes, people speak Greek. You people are so fucking stupid for real. So many of you claim to love ancient shit but can't even acknowledge the actual living culture of the people whose mythology and classics you romanticize. You keep leaving annoying comments about how you just forget Greek people still exist, thinking you're being quirky because you love ancient stuff soooo much that you forgot about the people it came from. You think about it so little you don't even realize that an actual Greek person has to read this shit, making it clear how little you actually care about the culture beyond the romanticized (and westernized) mythology. Don't claim you love Greece, don't use our mythology anymore if you can't acknowledge that we're still around without making it about how little you think about us. It's mind boggling that you'd think a Greek person would read this and think you're anything but obnoxious. Explode.

#this post is edited because you're all annoying. maybe I'll turn it back someday #it sucks that people can't even be normal about a funny family story once the fact that we're greek comes into the fold #suddenly its all about blorbofied mythology shit and idiots saying ''GREECE IS REAL???? 🤯🤯🤯🤯'' yeah percy j*ckson didnt make it up #maybe it would be less annoying if they weren't all saying it like I'd think it's funny that they don't know we exist instead of like #disturbing on a personal level. like what the fuck #man if you can't acknowledge we exist in real life just name your oc Icarus something else idgaf #so yeah explode. Skase. Voulos'to. Valto mesa sto katamalakismeno mouni tis mana's sou. Psophise. etc.

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townofcrosshollow · 8 months

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Shocked how many people think you can just turn on a computer and leave it on for weeks or months or years and never turn it off and it'll be fine. Computers need their sleep, and sleep mode does not count

#seriously there are processes important to the health of your computer that run when you turn it off or on #if you computer runs like shit or if your laptop's always hot that's why #'oh but it takes so long to boot up' YEAH BECAUSE YOU'VE KILLED HER SLOWLY #you've done the equivalent of stapling her eyes open and tazing her when she falls asleep. STOP #incoherent rambling

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deadmomjokes · 2 years

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PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods

#his amazement at our daughter eating spaghetti willingly #when apparently he's been suffering in silence over there his whole life #and i'm like ????#and he's like ''you didn't make this spicy?''#NO #NO I DID NOT #and he just blue screens for a minute #and i'm like YOU THINK SPAGHETTI IS SPICY???#and he's all ''yeah that's why i prefer we don't have it very often''#the absolute SHOCK i tell you #turns out he hates ketchup because it's spicy and he never understood why people wanted to dip fries in spicy sauce #i was like ''DUDE ketchup is supposed to be sweet and maybe a touch tangy but also cool and refreshing''#and he's like ''SWEET?????''#so uh yeah turns out dude's allergic to tomatoes and he just assumed everyone had a way higher spice tolerance than him #cuz he can find ''non spicy'' food too hot #and it's just all tomato based stuff and we never thought to connect the dots #mild salsa? too spicy. IT'S THE TOMATOES.#tacos? too spicy even at baby heat levels. IT'S THE TOMATOES.#prefers alfredo to marinara despite alfredo having objectively more pepper in it than marinara #he thought his spice tolerance was just so wimpy that my 'normal' was too spicy for him #so he's just been dealing with 1-3 meals a week being spicy to him our entire marriage WITHOUT SAYING A WORD #because he didn't want to offend me with his wimpy palate #IT'S THE TOMATOES #it's always been the gosh darn tomatoes

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panstarry · 26 days

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my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

#pan draws #pan designs #zine #risograph #i'm not gonna lie i don't love how this one turned out OTL and i think the wording is not done but well... a deadline is a deadline #i'll probably touch it up and rewrite it in the future but who's to say.. i need to stew on how to articulate my feelings coherently #anyway my transness is so closely tied to my experience as a person of color. the current political climate is so fucking ass to exist in #but more than anything i am pissed off at white punks & leftists & trans people that refuse to have meaningful solidarity with us.#so yeah anyway. i was stuck on this one forever and only really got anywhere with it after attending 2 punk noise shows in a row where they #actually used their fucking platform to do like. anything. our struggles are connected you need to careeeee YOU HAVE TO CARE........ ok bye #tdov #trans day of visibility #<- i was sitting on uploading this for a while so the stars kind of aligned for it to be today huh.... happy tdov i love you

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phleb0tomist · 5 months

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tumblr users will have the most inaccessible, unreadable, low contrast, flashing carrd you can possibly imagine, with a dni full of insider acronyms with no translation and numerous link buttons labelled with cryptic captions, and then go ahead and put “ableists dni and kys!” on that carrd

#yeah i’m bitter about carrds becoming so hostile to disabled people #nobody with vision issues or photosensitivity or processing issues or epilepsy or memory issues could possibly read your carrd #small changes like proper colour contrast between background and text can make a world of difference in making your page accessible #even just spelling out the acronyms in your dni or mentioning WHERE a mysterious link will actually lead is so helpful #i see so many links that are just random literary quotes that turn out to lead to a mandatory dni. how would anyone know that??#txt #accessibility #1000

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eddievedders · 9 months

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GOOD OMENS — Chapter 5: The Ball.

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knifearo · 5 months

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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

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the-phantom-peach · 8 months

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Meeting the Light Dragon ✨🐉

[tagged as spoilers!]

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qqchurch · 8 months

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wow, I wish HRT gave me beam attacks

#i knew cagliostro was in symphogear but no one told me that PRELATI was also an anime girl now lmaoooooo #that's two series with a prelati that transistioned i guess #and there's also Saint Germain to round out the 'male alchemists now turned anime girls' in the cast but yeah #symphogear #the original boiling estrogen post is somewhere but i cant find it so

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mothmothwoth · 2 months

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Welcome home neighbor! It’s so quiet

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wasyago · 3 months

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welp, didn't manage to get everything out before season 10 started, but i gotta post it one way or another so here we go! heard there was a fandom swap game going on, wanted to do a couple promts of my own :D

#guys with freaky eyes <3 #i really didn't expect season 10 to be so soon what do i do now...#very sorry to all the naruto girlies. there might be a lot of minecraft art for a while 😔 bud ninja stuff is coming too eventually #anyways! about the drawing:#decided to turn hypno into the 'bug tango with 4 arms and antennae' variant instead of a regular one because it's just more fun and unique;#and tango is in his dungeon master color pallett because his regular one looked a bit plain.#and i think hypnosis really fits the theme of a dungeon master and wrangling ravagers.#plus i wanted to use the design i drew a while ago at least once #oh also yeah hypno is a bee here because of his honey shop and stuffs #hypnotizd #tangotek #hermitcraft #my art #sketch #season 10 fanart is coming but later. i wanna post everything in the order it was drawn. so...

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inkskinned · 2 years

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my 10 yr high school reunion is coming up in november. does anyone wanna be my fake gf for it. i was super bullied in high school but i'm hot now so i obviously am only going to do lying, crime, and theft.

pros: - you can design your own character. i love improv games and will go along with whatever bit you desire - there's an open bar - you don't know any of these people and i don't care about any of these people, which is the closest either of us will ever get to diplomatic immunity. all bets are off. go hog wild

cons: - im devastatingly pretty & funny & charming and you will fall in love with me - some of the adults present will be business majors. i cannot do anything about that im sorry. - it is a high school reunion, which is the closest either of us will ever get to a nuclear waste site

#i live in boston and this is a real thing #i am actually asking for #drop a line #@ people who are like BUT ARE YOU HOT?#yeah.... . i am #lmao #maybe i'll make a post on my writing insta soon just to update others on the hot situation #every so often im like #im just gonna turn from poetry into thirst traps :x #me: all persons over 27 who are feelin evil TONITE come DO IT WITH ME

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soarrenbluejay · 1 month

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Supervillains for a community. (Well, except those jerks over in Gotham, insular lot, but they’re they’re one problem) Of course they do- supervillains are a group defined by strong opinions and a willingness to see them through, often with a healthy dash of societal failures and trauma as a catalyst.

The fentons, while not active even on the online message boards, are well known and explosive when they do show up, full of fascinating insights and hours long rants on mad science on hair pin turns courtesy of that ADHD attention span. Bit of the cryptids you feel honored to bump into kind of deal. Besides, like a good quarter of the community as it aged, they’d settled down and had kids (not necessarily in that order) and taken it very seriously! Out in the middle of nowhere, where even the most fearsome government outpost members, the local branch of the IRS, quake before them in fear. Out of the way.

Reveal gone okay-ish, Danny moves to Gotham still to get some air bc now things are Akward and he landed that engineering scholarship which is loads better than any other college would give him with his track record. So- the mysterious Fenton children are finally crawling out of hiding! Everyone is psyched! And roll in to Gotham en masse to witness the fireworks!

Except Danny is Determined To Be Normal. He’s had enough of the throwing himself into harms way shit for a lifetime- he wants to be free to peacefully built Rube Goldberg machines and unintentional increasingly complex bombs to his hearts content. JAZZ, on the other hand- the coveted token Normal One, has finally snapped! She’s watched her baby brother she practically raised throw himself into danger over and over and could do nothing, and now that she’s exposed to this whole network of superheroes outside of small town Amnity, some of those uglier emotions are coming out. And boy is she pissed! And can’t afford to show it much while filing the paperwork to have Arkham legally razed to the ground!

See I love this idea of like, niches in superhero society. A villain the heroes know they can plop their kiddo down with for an exciting afternoon brawl while they take care of a particularly grisly case and come back to a few hours later ranting about some new life lesson and a new move they really want to try. A villain who has a functioning moral compass despite their somewhat batshit long term goal and you can contact to fuck with another villains’s plan so they can laugh at them and you can have an easy afternoon. One who pries up hostile architecture and fills in pot holes, idk man. Get creative here, there’s such potential!

So Jazz becomes a Training villain- someone the heroes know their sidekicks will walk away from in a fight 100% of the time, usually with some new lesson to ponder and only a couple of bruises. Sometimes even snacks!

She also absolutely ambushes mentors to check that they’re worth the kiddo, which they appreciate once they get over being jumped in a dark alley by a 7 foot Amazon trained force of nature. They are not used to being on that side of the jumping, it’s a little unnerving.

(Yes, she low key adopts Shazam upon checking in with him on cursory ‘is the main hero of this city and asshole’ checkin. Yes, the super clones get yoinked out from under Superman’s negligent thumb to go have a blast with Ellie. What about it?)

This however only encourages more assorted weirdos to crawl out of the woodwork. It’s not often one of their own forfeits their potential spot for the running of the coveted Most Normal I Swear prize, but when they do it’s bound to be good! But jazz is off hounding various heroes and punching the faces in of pedophiles and shit whenever there’s no cape within easy reach, and so is a mite bit harder to contact than Danny, who has innocently gotten an apprenticeship under a clockworker for access to their workshop and is gleefully going about doing nerdy shit with great abandon.

Plus this is Gotham. No one gives a shit if someone in the Mad Alchemist uniform and still smoking from their latest experiment pokes their head in a window to bother the local shrimp teen- none of the usual social rules apply, everyone’s crazy here! So everyone drops any and all attempts at masking and just acts their genuine unhinged selves, much to the alarm of the Bats and frustration of Danny.

Bc he cannot get these mfers to go. Away. Even liberal use of the creep stick has little effect when the interloper is calibrated for an opponent with super speed or laser vision or whatever, and he’s trying to maintain his guise as a Normal College Student Do No Investigate.

So he calls in the big guns. He’s not super active in the supervillain kids group chat ever since things in amnity calmed the fuck down post becoming King and then immediately using a loophole that says he will not take the throne until he is grown, as defined by finishing learning his trade a la the medieval standards Pariah set up. So he can just take his sweet ass time with his graduate degree and out of inter dimensional bull shit that much longer! Point is, he hasn’t taken the chance to rant over there in a while, so his Crazy friends are getting a lil worried.

The change to come over and shout at their batshit crazy but (mostly) well meaning parent AND see Danny? Score!

The bats, however, are getting awfully suspicious about this one kid that villains from all over the country are flocking to, especially young and upcoming ones as of recently! And he’s acting his engineering course- all the worst rogues are known to have flown through their PhD studies prior to Cracking. They seem to have a real problem on their hands with this Fenton guy.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #mad science #supervillain community #bonus points if you can pull out some super niche comic villain #justice for kite man #local child of a crazy chemist: so you know that trick you showed me with the soda and the reaction that could turn into just like all foam #Danny: yeah and also back the fuck up #lcoacc: so it’s been like my comfort food right but like I started wondering what you could do #danny: oh no (he says while making what amounts of an overachieving smoke bomb)#lcoacc: so I was like what if I add more of a base to it so it could be solid and then maybe just like a LIL acid to see what happens #Danny: oh ancients #lcoacc: but then the killjoy supes came in a ruined everything from where I was ruining lex Luther’s day #Danny:… did you get in on camera #lcoacc: OF COURSE. oh also like everyone ever if coming over for a sleepover lol #Danny: WHAT I CANT FEED YOU MONSTERS #lcoacc: no worrries we’ll rob a bulk store or something lol #Danny: nO

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ew-selfish-art · 6 months

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Dpx Dc AU: Ectoplasm is required for Ghosts to be visible to the human eye- And Danny creates his own ectoplasm.

Danny is visiting Jazz in Gotham and its weird how friendly everyone is. Like, the city gets a really bad rapport, everywhere he goes there is someone trying to strike up a conversation or answer his questions about getting around to the tourist spots. A few people even pointed out restaurants and ways to find off the beaten path gems! Jazz seems to role her eyes at him, but when he brings up her 'roommate' being kind of cute she flat out laughs.

Danny then comes to understand the Jazz doesn't have a roommate and that Ghosts in Gotham don't move far from their haunts- He's just been inadvertently turning these undead folks visible by accident of generating abnormal amounts of ectoplasm.

Which, is comforting in a way, he's never walking this dangerous city alone and really, most of the ghosts have been really friendly! They disappear once he's a few blocks away from them anyway.

---

Tim Drake is having a horrible day.

He'd been given intel that one of Black Mask's guys was going to snitch but that he'd died before given the opportunity to reach out to the GCPD. He tracks down the guy's last know whereabouts and yikes. Its next to the Theater. Tim was often grateful for his childhood obsessions, this time it backfired.

Tim and Bruce get into an argument about trust and respect and, worst of all, mental health. And even though Tim was vehemently against Batman accompanying Red Robin to the alleyway - that's exactly what happens.

They arrive and Bruce is closing up faster than a clam in the contaminated Gotham Bay- Clearly being in the Alley bothers him. No fucking shit. RR gets started on collecting evidence, there are a few extra blood splatters and a single left shoe... When a kid walks into the Alley.

"Uh, sorry to intrude-" The kid looks scared shitless, and runs away. And then, all of a sudden, Batman and Robin aren't alone in the Alley.

Tim can hardly believe his eyes as the dead man appears and quickly blabs Black Mask's bank passwords and what the plan had been- and While he's over joyed to have that closure, he turns around to Batman weeping in the arms of his parents.

The ghosts fade, and the emotions are certainly charged as this was never something Bruce or Tim would have ever dreamed of happening. Ghosts in Gotham. Talking, floating, granting closure.

"RR, Bats, come in." Oracle calls into their ears.

"Reporting in, but, uh, we need a minute."

"A minute? We have a case on 4th and-"

"O, we just saw the ghosts of the Waynes. It's going to be a minute."

"...Lots of Ghost reports lately then. Any chance you saw a kid looking like he could be adopted?"

"Yeah, actually, black hair and blue eyes. He was super polite before he ran away."

"We have work to do. Oracle, lets prioritize finding our person of interest and divert Nightwing and Robin to the case on 4th." Batman cut between them on the comms and he sounded... calmer than either of them anticipated.

---

Jazz is no longer laughing when Batman appears at her door explaining that he's looking for Danny (Who already flew away from town to get a good night's sleep before class on Monday). Turns out Danny reunited the man with his dead parents just briefly- and then the second guy appears and mentions how Danny had also given a guy who'd been murdered by a Mob enough time to explain the ongoing threats the city faced.

Jazz just rolls her eyes and says that it's not like the ghosts are going anywhere anytime soon and Danny will visit in another month. When pressed, she just explains that her brother is a weirdo. No of course he doesn't have powers. Gaslight and Girlbosses her way out.

And Jazz thinks that the game is up for at least another month, obviously when Danny visits more shit will stir up, but then this new guy appears.

Unlike the other Bats who are keen on watching her from a distance, the Red Hood knocks on her door. Are her eyebrows all the way into her hairline when Red Hood asks her to send his thanks along to Danny because somehow this whole situation led to his Dad expressing remorse for his actions and apologizing? Yes, yes they are.

But Jazz can smell Dissertation Data off of these vigilantes- Who is she to send them away? Jazz welcomes Red Hood into her place for a cup of tea and a small chat.

The story then devolves into Jazz getting shit done, Danny being cute by proximity and also bringing ghosts to the party, and the Bats having trauma resolve between them.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc #danny phantom #dc crossover #dp crossover #long post #danny can make ghosts appear like they do in amity but only for a short while and when in proximity to him #its not apparent in amity because the ghosts are just like that there #Danny just having a good time #Danny having zero brain cells about this whole thing and neither he nor jazz will offer explanations #they're just like 'gotham has ghosts. its not like he put them there'#Bruce getting into therapy because his dead parents said they were proud of him and he didnt know how to handle that #bruce having to turn this energy around somehow and seeing jason - my boy i love you so much and im so sorry and im so proud of you #heres the thing i dont know how i made it anger management ship at the end but i sure as fuck did.#jason is at a lack of words at bruce's confessions of pride and love but is also about to be a BAT about this and track down info #info in the form of a cute girl #oh yeah she has a brother #uh well #he has brothers too- this is fine #someone write this fic pls n thx u

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unpersoniverse · 2 months

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I saw a tweet that said Korra's only a softie around Asami and one thing led to another...

#totally inspired by taylor swift's song gorgeous #you know that line #you make me so happy it turns back to sad ??#these two before they got together #then they been dating so long and still look at each other and go😡 can't 😡 believe 😡 you're😡mine😡i 😡love😡you😡#god bless korrasami #yeah #korrasami #korra #asami sato #my art #fanart #tlok #avatar the legend of korra #atla #wlw #valentines day #these two being soft for and only each other are my weakness bye #they're in love your honor

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