It’s sad but the best version of Peter Parker to me (probably because it’s the most relatable one) is when he’s broke as hell, but at a certain point it doesn’t make sense for him to be such a genius without running a tech company, so here’s the bs reasons he’s still broke in the au’s I imagine:

He can’t partner up with anyone because everyone knows what happened with Dr. Connors, Dr. Octavius, and, depending on the au, Norman Osborn, which no one thinks Norman was working with Peter, but he is another person who knew Peter and became a supervillain

Essentially, everyone thinks he’s cursed™️

And he can’t sell any of his inventions on his own to start funding his own company because S.H.I.E.L.D. keeps getting involved and stopping it, both because whatever he creates works way too well and they don’t want it to fall into the wrong hands, and also because they’re all pretty sure that Peter’s gonna turn into a supervillain and they’re trying to stop him from gaining any power to do so

Also, because of all the above reasons, and because the best Peter Parker in my opinion is one that’s tired, snarky, and has a bit of an anger problem, that along with his genius, accidentally has everyone convinced he’s a supervillain in the making, the very specific dynamic that I picture Reed Richards having with him before he finds out he’s Spiderman is:



Peter Parker reminds him of Dr. Doom, he’s got the smarts, the anger, he’s a loner, and the way he commiserates on everything stopping him from achieving his goals (that famous way he blames his Parker luck on everything), just all reminds him of Victor, back when they attended college together

So he doesn’t get Peter to work with him, although he’d make such a promising mentee, cause he doesn’t need to accidentally get another supervillain to declare war on him, but also because he reminds him of Victor he can’t stay away, wanting some version of him to “see the light”

So occasionally he’ll begrudgingly team up with Peter Parker and the entire time he’ll awkwardly preach the merits of using science for Good™️ and how following villainy will only leave a person feeling empty inside, as his way of having a second chance at reaching Victor before he becomes Dr. Doom

Peter, meanwhile, has no idea this is how Reed sees their interactions, he’s just so happy whenever he gets a chance to work with one of his science heroes (then his identity eventually gets revealed and Reed has no idea how to view Peter)

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #147

Tues Jul 30 2019 [09:20 PM] Wack'd: I guess whatever "Project Revival" is doesn't matter because Medusa has also returned to NY [09:21 PM] maxwellelvis: I'm guessing we're not going to see Namorita, her roommate, or Wun-Darr in this any time soon. [09:21 PM] maxwellelvis: Which is a shame because I like Ben having his own supporting cast separate from the Four in these. [09:22 PM] Wack'd: I continue to not care about Two-in-One, not because I think it's bad but because nothing about the premise appeals to me besides the fact that Ben's in it [09:22 PM] maxwellelvis: Don't like team-ups with obscure horror heroes? [09:23 PM] maxwellelvis: Actually that's probably a pretty wise call because I'm pretty sure your head would explode if you read the Golem story. [09:23 PM] Wack'd: So what was this colossal emergency that required Ben to travel halfway around the world to retrieve his teammates? What horrifying terror are they about to face? What grotesque monster--oh

[09:25 PM] Wack'd: Ben is outraged and decides to go talk some sense into Sue. Johnny comes along to keep him from being a dick, because this is a thing Johnny is consistently good at [09:25 PM] Wack'd: Johnny asks Ben how he feels about the lobotomy and Ben, apparently, has gotten over it through sheer bullheaded loyalty. Reed's his best friend and he has to stand by him [09:26 PM] Wack'd: Which, y'know, I buy it--Ben's definitely that kinda guy. But I think I needed to see Ben come to that conclusion slowly over the course of the story [09:27 PM] Wack'd: Ben: Don't ferget who's *side* you're on, kiddo...Suzie may be your sister, but Reed's yer friend." [09:28 PM] maxwellelvis: 📽 [09:29 PM] Bocaj: Projecting? [09:29 PM] maxwellelvis: mm-hmm [09:29 PM] Wack'd: Okay, fuck you Ben. Johnny's been here through this entire storyline, by Reed's side, without even the suggestion of going to talk to Sue. Let's take for granted for a moment but that is the right and moral way to have reacted. It's not, necessarily, but let's take that for granted. Even given this, he does not have a moral obligation to convince his sister to return to a marriage she was unhappy in. That would be bonkers. [09:31 PM] Wack'd: Thankfully, Johnny's not having it, and says that even though he doesn't agree with the divorce he can't deny Sue had good reasons for leaving, and asks Ben to consider that maybe that kind of bullheaded loyalty isn't a virtue if it puts you on the wrong side of the issues. [09:31 PM] Wack'd: And Ben actually considers this! GROWTH [09:32 PM] Umbramatic: huzzah! [09:32 PM] Wack'd: He doesn't get to consider it for very long before an old friend shows up though

[09:33 PM] maxwellelvis: What's he doing here? It can't be to check up on Wun-Darr, he left the kid here in his cousin's care. [09:33 PM] Wack'd: I'm not sure I dig the instinct to give Namor more clothes but I certainly can't argue with the result! [09:33 PM] maxwellelvis: It's a very 70's costume [09:33 PM] Wack'd: Any male costume with an open chest or plunging neckline or exposed midriff is a friend of mine [09:33 PM] maxwellelvis: Caught me off guard when I was reading Essential Two-In-One [09:33 PM] Wack'd: (Please don't test this hypothesis) [09:34 PM] Wack'd: Namor says he has no quarrel with them at the moment but honor demands that he kick their asses [09:35 PM] Bocaj: ... why [09:35 PM] Wack'd: He does not explain [09:36 PM] Wack'd: Oh okay, at the end of the fight he explains. Sue and Franklin are under his protection [09:36 PM] Wack'd: Wonder who made that call? Bet you it wasn't Sue! [09:37 PM] Wack'd: Johnny and Ben make it to the farm and Sue's friends tell them Namor kidnapped her. Called it! [09:38 PM] Wack'd: Also man not even Sue's friends agree with the divorce decision. People who've never even met Reed! Some friends! [09:38 PM] Bocaj: And the comic was doing vaguely well actually giving her friends [09:39 PM] Bocaj: And people outside Reed’s social group [09:39 PM] Wack'd: I was talking to Lapis about this earlier and she informs me that Sue's backstory of pastoral rural life and feminine-appropriate sports was the stock background most Marvel ladies got in the 70s [09:39 PM] Umbramatic: oof [09:40 PM] Wack'd: So they just kinda cloned her friends to or from other ladies I guess [09:40 PM] Bocaj: Dammit marvel [09:40 PM] maxwellelvis: Did... did they only just realize women like horses? [09:40 PM] Wack'd: I think other ladies got, like, track-and-field, lacrosse, that sort of thing [09:40 PM] Wack'd: Sue got horses [09:40 PM] Wack'd: So apparently Namor didn’t kidnap Franklin, he just vanished [09:40 PM] Wack'd: Definitely a good sign [09:42 PM] maxwellelvis: Ahh [09:43 PM] Wack'd: Holy shit, Reed's got a beard of sadness. Haven't seen him in one of those since the original Galactus arc

[09:44 PM] maxwellelvis: It's only stubble right now, but I was hoping he'd end up with a full-on beard like Richard Impossible did when he went all Howard Hughes [09:44 PM] Wack'd: So Reed designed Namor's new costume [09:44 PM] Wack'd: Which means he can track the radiation it gives off [09:45 PM] Wack'd: Reed has one overriding design aesthetic and that's "if I'm pissed at you I can use this to find you" [09:46 PM] Wack'd: Lessmann definitely reads the narrative captions before coloring

[09:48 PM] Wack'd: So they finally find Namor and--holy shit Buckler continues to be really friggin good at monster designs

[09:48 PM] Wack'd: Okay I guess this is technically a fortress but I totally believe that it'll spring to life at any moment and start attacking [09:49 PM] maxwellelvis: It looks like a gigantic HERBIE [09:49 PM] Wack'd: It looks like it's about to issue some deep herbing [09:50 PM] Wack'd: So! Fight fight fight! It's underwater so there's no banter, except from Namor [09:50 PM] Wack'd: Reid has built Johnny a special suit that allows him to flame on underwater...somehow... [09:51 PM] maxwellelvis: And Ben can just put a helmet on and survive down there. [09:51 PM] maxwellelvis: It's one of his powers. [09:51 PM] Wack'd: Oh no they've all taken "oxy-pills" [09:51 PM] Wack'd: So no helmets [09:51 PM] maxwellelvis: Ahh [09:52 PM] Wack'd: Namor takes this opportunity to taunt Reed about how he failed his wife [09:53 PM] Wack'd: uuuuUuUuuUuUUuUugh

[09:53 PM] maxwellelvis: We're doing this again [09:54 PM] Wack'd: When Roy Thomas started this storyline it was all about how Reed is a disrespectful jerk and Sue needs independence and freedom [09:54 PM] Wack'd: And between Reed lobotomizing Franklin and...this...I definitely don't get the impression Conway buys that was a good enough reason [09:55 PM] Umbramatic: oh [09:55 PM] Wack'd: Indeed, when taunting Reed, Namor immediately brings up the lobotomy and doesn't mention any of Reed's other issues, which have still not been addressed [09:57 PM] Wack'd: Conway is also undermining Sue at every turn--her own childhood friends, whom she's been living with for months if not years, who she presumably told everything--even they don't think Sue should divorce Reed? [09:57 PM] Wack'd: This is a bad show all around [09:58 PM] Wack'd: *sigh* MOVING ON!