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#so this morning I’m like hey there r some pretty serious things happening I don’t think minigolf is my first priority rn
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I am not good at being genuinely mad at people. Usually I’m passively mad and it’s more annoyed than mad but like oh man. Genuinely upset?? No you gotta tread real careful
#my friends and I went to hang out today including the one who was like on my tumblr which really bothered me right#and like. that’s not something I’ve gotten over yet. i care about my life here and my privacy very much#quite frankly. i don’t think I ever will get over this. i am willing to set it aside. but I am not going to forgive this#a few days ago she’s like hey Monday let’s do something. and with my future in mind I’m like. fine. sure.#so this morning I’m like hey there r some pretty serious things happening I don’t think minigolf is my first priority rn#and she’s like oh ok well can we still hang out tho? and it’s like. excuse me??? why on earth do you think that’s more important than this#and then. plans ended up working out and she’s like hey. we’re good right? and I’m taken aback and I’m like what?#and she’s like r we good? we’re good right?#and it’s like. you have got to be kidding me. I’ve barely spoken to you and you’re asking if we’re good in the hopes this all blew over????#and I’m like. I don’t know. I’m not actively avoiding you anymore if that’s what you’re asking#but it’s like. oh my god. it inconveniences me greatly to not forgive her for monetary reasons such as moving in together in a yearish#but also she is making it so incredibly hard to forgive her!!#i asked her for space and she decided oh well what if I keep trying to FaceTime her and just in general was acting like if she just kept#going on like nothing happened everything would be all good#like bestie my trust isn’t something you can rebuild. it’s gone#but she just keeps going and doing all these little things and it’s like#every wrong thing she could do delay my forgiveness she’s done#when I say forgiveness I mean my willingness to put this aside#but it’s like. u cannot just expect things to go back to how they were. that completely ignores the fact that something happened#like god start with at least trying to be my friend again. not my best friend. my like. good acquaintance#like text me. please don’t call. i would rather not hang out. just text me. join our group calls for a little bit at a time#just. small interactions. that give me the ability to leave if I want#driving me absolutely up the wall#soup talks
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headkiss · 2 months
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heyyy, how are you?? i love your work so much!!! i was wondering if you could write something about steve having a crush on r, but when they are together he gest shy and quiet and r misunderstands that and thinks he doesn't like her like everyone is telling her he is ???
im sorry if its confusing, english is not my first language,, anywayy feel free to change anything !!! ❤️
hi baby thank you so much!!! i’m so sorry this has been in my asks since september but i hope u enjoy all the same :,) i finally wrote something!!! yay!!! | 0.7k teeny tiny angst and fluff!!
You’re pretty sure Steve Harrington doesn’t like you. That’s what you tell Robin when you see her at the Family Video counter, alone for once. She bursts out laughing.
“I’m being serious!”
Before Robin responds, Steve walks out of the back room, grinning that grin you wish you didn’t love so much, his hair a little messy, like he didn’t have enough time to style it this morning the way he usually does.
He’s looking at Robin when he says: “what’s so funny?”
“I bet you’d love to know, dingus.” She nods at you and shrugs, “it’s girl stuff.”
It’s only then that he notices you’re there, his eyes flicking over your face quickly, his head ripping in a small nod. You might not have noticed it if you weren’t looking right at him already.
“Oh, right.” He smiles again, tight-lipped this time. “Hey.”
“Hi, Steve.”
“Hey,” he says again.
Yeah, you’re pretty sure Steve Harrington doesn’t like you, because this is what happens whenever you’re around. He goes quiet, awkward, where others have always found him outgoing and kind.
You suppose it only makes things worse when you want him to like you so bad. If only as a friend, even.
“Um, I was just grabbing…” You flounder before picking up a random movie by the front desk, “this.”
“Right,” he scratches the back of his neck as he says it.
Meanwhile Robin’s head is turning to look between the two of you like it’s a tennis match. You widen your eyes at her and she gets the signal, scanning your movie and letting you head out with it when she knows you’ll be returning it before even opening the case.
“You’re such an idiot,” she says to Steve as the door shuts behind you, the bell jingling with your departure.
“Robin-”
“No! You are, Steve. Listen, you know I love you, but she thinks you don’t like her. At all!”
Now, Steve knows that he acts like an absolute dork wherever you’re concerned, but he never wanted you to think that. Never. If anything, he likes you more than he’s ever liked anyone before, and it terrifies him.
Any ounce of the confidence that’s left over from his ‘King Steve’ era seems to evaporate, and the words just don’t come the way they should. But fuck, he didn’t want to hurt you. He’d never want to hurt you.
“Shit,” he runs a hand through his hair, uncaring about how it might look for once.
“Yeah, shit.” Robin nudges her shoulder against his, “she’s still in her car, by the way. Just saying.”
Steve nods, muttering some kind of encouragement for himself under his breath. He pushes his way out the door, picking up his pace to a jog when he hears you start your car.
The knock on your window startles you, surprises you when you look over to find Steve standing out there, the sun a halo around his figure, his Family Video vest just a little crooked.
You shut your car off and roll your window down, squinting up at him, “Steve? Everything okay?”
“I do like you.”
“What?”
His chest is rising and falling quickly, his eyes wide and something like worry looming in them. “I do like you.”
“Steve, did Robin put you up to this? ‘Cause you don’t have to-”
“She didn’t. I promise she didn’t,” he leans down a little, his hands resting on your door. “She told me you thought I didn’t like you and I couldn’t let you leave still thinking that. I like you. A lot.”
You blink up at him, mouth opening and closing, trying to figure out what to say. For so long, you’d been convinced that he wasn’t a fan of yours, and here he is, sincerity written all over his face.
“You never talk to me, I thought-”
“I know. I know and I’m sorry.” Steve hangs his head for a second, inhaling once before looking at you again. “The truth is I, uh, have a crush on you. Probably more than a crush, and I didn’t know what to do with it so I acted like a fucking idiot.”
“You have a crush on me?”
“Yeah, I do. Kind of a big one.”
You can’t fight the smile on your face at that. “I have a crush on you too, Steve.”
It’s the first time you make Steve Harrington blush, the first genuine smile of his that you earn. And it won’t be the last.
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majorxmaggiexboy · 2 years
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HELLO my love!! F, V, R, W for the ask meme <3
!!!!! HEY BESTIE ILY
F - Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.
!!!! This is Very Old, but i’ve been pretty pleased with it because *checks notes* Gus. and Ghost AU :3 Also several bits that actually tie into other bits of the overall story. Tone stuff, too. And the fact that i had a lot of fun with it.
~
At first, Gus isn’t surprised to open his eyes at- he glances at the clock, then back again -2:37 in the morning to find his best friend staring down at him. Not like it’s never happened before. It’s why his first instinct is to scowl instead of scream like a little girl.
Then he remembers, and he’s scrambling to sit up.
“Shawn-?” he sputters, “How did you- I thought- Wait a damn minute. I’m dreaming.”
The other’s face is a kaleidoscope. Or some kind of weird mirror. Watching Shawn jump a little, shifty-eyed like he’s been caught, then give that half-smile only to to fall back into a cautious frown, Gus is almost tempted to say something like ‘stop copying me’
Instead, he says, “I am dreaming, right?”
“I’m-” Shawn’s mouth opens, then closes.
Gus frowns. “Because I know you wouldn’t really ghost me for two months, let me think you got brutally murdered, then just show up in my room at two-thirty-seven in the morning like we’ve got a case or something.”
Dream!Shawn cringes a little. “Nah, Gus,” he softens, uncharacteristically wistful, voice almost a whisper, “I wouldn’t do that to you.” Then he looks thoughtful. “Well, technically-”
“-Shawn,” Gus deadpans, “I am not trying to do this with you right now. It is two-forty in the morning, and I have a long day ahead of me.” he nods, decisive, eyes determinedly shut. “You’re a figment of my imagination. Probably my brain’s way of helping me cope with the trauma. And I appreciate that, but I’d rather stick to crying on my lunchbreak if you don’t mind. Now-”
“-The trauma? You’re traumatized?” 
Gus opens one eye. “You would know, being part of my subconscious and all. Hell yes, I am traumatized. Everybody was. You know that.”
There’s an awkward silence as Gus closes his eyes again, then he adds, “I’m glad you’re looking like yourself again.”
“Who else have I looked like?" Dream!Shawn sounds curious, if kind of...flat. Distracted, maybe. “Someone ridiculously cool and handsome, obviously, but-”
Gus shrugs into his pillows. “I assumed you’d know all about the nightmare versions of this. You know I couldn’t stop dreaming about you in that hospital bed, or-”
“You know what? Don’t think about that,” Dream!Shawn interrupts. He’s covered in bandages. He sighs and runs a hand through hair that’s way darker than it should be.  “I’m serious.”
“Sorry,” Gus mumbles, and ten minutes later the bandages are gone. Dream!Shawn looks just like he did the last time he bounced out of the office. Just ... less excited. More nervous. Weird.
In fact, dream!Shawn is pacing. Wringing his hands together. 
It’s three-thirteen in the morning when Gus gives up and sighs. This might be better than the nightmares, but it’s still creepy, and now there’s a lump in his throat way too early in the morning. He might have to call out sick; he’s definitely going to be too choked up to get through a meeting no matter how much John Legend he listens to on the way to work. Maybe he really should book an extra therapy appointment-
“Uhm, Gus? About ghosting you for two months, letting you think I got brutally murdered, and then showing up in your room at two-forty-three in the morning like I have a case or something?”
Gus opens his eyes again. 
Dream!Shawn is swimming about an inch away from his face. He’s half-apologetic, half-manic. “...I know I literally just said I wouldn’t do that to you, but two of those aren’t my fault unless you want to blame me for getting murdered. Which I think we can all agree would be pretty problematic of you, Gus.  Also, your clock is slow. So technically the only thing I’m legitimately guilty of is showing up in your room like we have a case or something, whiiiiiiiiich- - -I’m really, really so sorry, but my murder isn’t gonna solve itself, and I’m kind of limited right now, so...”
Gus stares.
Shawn stares back. Flashes a quick, wobbly grin.
“Surpriiiiise?” 
 ~
V- If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
haha oh no i mean i’d totally be into short prequel/sequel for Peter 3 specifically in Where the Sunlight Ends (I am slap dang feral for the worldbuilding you’ve done in that fic like holy hats it’s TOO good) and also bc by a whole Reach, film adaptations could be considered fanworks of the books they’re based on, i’d write a sequel to On Drakon. bc it practically writes itself. 
R - Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?
@f-ro-g well of course you’re on the list, possum, ever since i stumbled upon your Musketeers fic back around 2014 your work has continued to amaze and inspire so just jot that down.
Also @therapardalis because oh. my god. the care and detail put into that OC. i was genuinely intimidated by Thera when i originally came to tumblr but she quickly became one of my dear favorites
and
@samayla, not just bc ur writing is incredible on its own (Utterly Impractical Magician SENDS ME) but also that time you talked about the Mrs. Mockturtle Method of essentially pretending to be someone else while writing in order to get over Fear/Embarrassment/Stagefright prior to the editing stage. Loved that.
W -Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?
BOTH???? General prompts offer a lot of maneuverability and room for interpretation which is good, like being offered a general Vibe and going “Aight, Bet.” and then Specific prompts are great bc it’s like this this and this happens which basically takes care of the meat of the situation so all the writer has to fool with is the seasoning. 
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its-me-im-coraline · 3 years
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NSFW Alphabet // Ethan Torchio
words // 2383
warnings // smut, clearly its nsfw headcannons
pairing // Ethan Torchio x GN!Reader (might be mentions that seem like they are for f reamer but comeon theres lingerie for every body 👁️👄👁️)
author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. an apology to the people on my tag list i think i accidentally have not been tagging you this whole time i am so so so sorry omg
request // yes, it was a reblog i cant find it right now
summary // self explanatory
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Regarding you, Ethan is the king of after care. As rough as he can be in bed, that’s just how sweet he can be once you're done with it. Goes full on dad mode (don’t know how else to explain this). He will have water, painkillers if you’re now in pain, a washcloth to clean you up, new clothes, and of course the cuddles.
“I’m alright, Ethan. I can do it on my own,” you say as Ethan walks to you with the wet cloth ready to clean the mess he made on your body.
“I know you can, amore. I just want to take care of you,” he says as he leaves a kiss on your lips.
I can also see him being the one to make a big fat breakfast the morning after, or at least get up early to pick something up.
Now I also feel that he is in need of some aftercare. It depends on the day really, if he’s had a pretty rough day and all I feel like he’d ask for some backrubs after. In this case he’d fall asleep so quickly like omg. But on the biggest part I see him feeling the need to reassure you that the things he said (i think we already established that this man would call you a slut) are not how he feels about you and will be asking if you feel the same.
“Do you love me?”
“Wha- of course I do, Ethan! Where is this coming from?”
“I don’t know… I guess - I guess I am worried that you don’t after what I said.”
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
When it comes to himself I feel like he really likes his chest and arms. Like I don’t know but I see him really getting off with you pretty much mastubating on his chest. Ya know what I mean? (i think you do you little sluts). He pretty much enjoys anything you do on his chest. I can imagine him looking at the mirror after you two had sex, seeing the cum on his chest along with the marks you have left and just smiling.
“What are you looking at, love?” You ask, seeing as the man is standing in front of the bathroom mirror from your spot on the hotel bed.
“Nothing, just the mess you made.”
“Mhm, and I bet you like it, huh?”
“You have no idea… Hey, are you sure you got tired? Cause I think I can do another round.”
As for his arms, as I said, he simply really enjoys that he can man handle you anytime, get you in any position he likes and feel you scratching them from the pleasure.
When it comes to you, Ethan is an ass guy. Say what you want but the man is an ass guy, end of discussion. He loves anything that involves your but. It does not explicitly have to be something like anal. He simply enjoys seeing your butt and holding it in his hand. It does not matter if it’s big or not, if it has stretch marks or whatever. Wear lingerie that he likes or that itty bitty teeny weeny bikini if you wear them or even some tight pants that make your butt just poìp and he can not contain himself.
I think I have said that to someone here (i think I had sent an ask to zodi @ icouldbeyourputtet) before but I feel like this man is very into spanking, like not even the rough malicious way. but this very wholesome chill way.
You had been talking about it all day, not having had a minute alone with each other for days, you could only dream what you could do that night after everyone left.
A playlist was playing in the background and a cigarette was burning on the ashtray next to your legs, you assuming a similar position, as said cigarette, bent over Ethan’s lap as he caressed your ass cheeks and back, playing around with the lingerie set he had gifted you a while back. (Did I just go to search my fave porn vid, lol exposing myself, and get disappointed because I can’t find it and translate it into fanfiction? yes yes i did, so bare with what i can remember)
“It’s okay, baby, you can take a little more, come on,” he praised, leaving a spank and yet another soft rub on the very red cheek.
He continued, going with the music, a very nice pattern, not very rough spanks but just enough to cause pain, pleasure and redness all over. Accidentally the man landed a few very rough ones causing a gasp and a series of giggles as you practically fell off his lap.
“Ethan, what the hell?” You laughed getting up from the floor and this time sitting on the man’s lap, sharing kisses with him.
“What,” he copied your action and laughed, “it was not intentional. I got carried away by how nice your butt is.”
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He is and is not messy. He will not want the cum to be in every surface possible you know, he will be careful but at the same time this man just loves to see his cum on you, whether it’s your back or your stomach, or in you if you’re ok with it. I bet he has a teeny weeny breeding kink but not necessarily because of the idea of breeding you but rather because he looooves seeing his cum run out of you… I'm not sure if this falls in the breeding kink category but alright
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He likes to fuck you while watching porn.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
I feel like he is pretty experienced. From what they band has said in interviews and stuff, he seems to be getting some pretty often (no one, NO ONE, is surprised at that). He is not acting arrogant tho (not unless that’s the dynamic of the night), he is willing to learn what works for you and you specifically
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
As I said this man is an ass guy so I’d say anything that involves having the view of your ass. Humor me but i think he’d really like 69 with a female/afab partner (don’t know if this works very well with two dick-baring people lol). It has it all, eating you out,
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
I think it can be both with him. He will not exactly try to make jokes but if something like the previously mentioned spanking incident happens it’s def welcome.
Now as a general rule I see him being pretty serious. I will be honest, I’m getting brat tamer vibes from this man so it’s all pretty serious when you really get into it.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Considering he’s an Italian man and if you look at a lot of photos of him he def fit the ‘mediterenean’ man type. I see him just barely grooming. I don’t see him really shaving or whatever but he also wouldn’t want you to choke on pupic hair, he much rathers you choke on his dick
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
It all depends, really. He can be quite intimate with you but it all depends on the moment. There are different occasions for everything. For example, and this is a paradox that I hope I’m explaining well enough to understand, he is not very rough (will not be very aggressive and stuff, like to the extreme those tik tok boys want to pretend they are with their * growling * ew) but he will be rough. intimidating looks, spanking just enough to make you feel pain and redden up your ass cheeks. He’s like that mostly when you are being bratty.
Most of the times, like we’re talkin kind of lazy sex moments, it more wholesome ig, like very intimate and just comfortable and almost comforting. Ok, but like why do i see him having sex and having casual conversation (not the most common, i see this as like lazy day off, having nothing else to do and not being like super horny but being more like h o r n y … am i making sense?)
Setting the scene, you two are at home, both have a day off but it’s kind of raining so any of your plans are ruined. At this point it’s at around 10 am, not early, not late. You have missed each other and both have made it obvious but you are both in a very tired state so you opt for something not too much.
Plain and simple missionary is what goes around this time, Ethan on top just holding your legs around his waist,, going at a pretty medium pace.
“It’s a pity the weather is bad today,” says Ethan staring out the window.
“I know, we were going to go to the beach… I’m bummed about it,” you say, short of breath as the man continues his pace fucking you.
“Mhm, true. But this is better, amore, no? I’ve missed you so much,” he breaths out the last part, moans interrupting his words.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He does that pretty often, especially if you are not around to help. Sometimes it’s because of you that he needs to. I would def see him exchanging naked pics with you and at first he does that to tease you but he ends up teased when he sees a video you sent of you masturbating.
Bets that he’d be taking photos and vids of you fucking on occasion so he goes to these when he misses you on tour.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
As I mentioned previously I see Ethan to be a brat tamer. That I see to be the main kink that kind of works around everything else.
“Can you stop this, slut? It has gotten exhausting. I told you no noise but here you are,” he ordered, looking down at you trembling below his finger tips.
His face was quite stoic, voice never wavering from the strict and cold tone he tended to have when scolding you on the daily. Most times it was leaving a cup out of the sink but this time the scolding came from misbehaving. As if it was not enough that he was punishing you for being a brat and riling him up all morning, now you had to disobey orders. It was getting to him for sure.
“I’m sorry daddy,” you whisper, Ethan seeming satisfied with the response.
“Aw, why so tame puppy, now you decide to be nice?” His tone stayed the same, his words imitating a joke but the whole ordeal was not even close to it.
Now as for other kinks (did I open a site because I could not think? yes, shut up), as a result of being a brat tamer dom there are some few more kinks accompanying specifically that. He is def into bondage, both tying you up but also being tied up on occasion.
“Puppy, I have told you that is not a way to treat me. Untie me,” he says calmly, wrists tied on the headboard of the bed, eyes fixated to you.
“Well, why not? You do it all the time,” you whine, placed on all fours, facing Ethan as you lean towards him on your hands, “I want in on the fun.”
If only he was not tied… Ethan’s mind was already going places, figuring out exactly how he would punish you after you untie him -or after he escapes the restrains, whatever comes first. You knew that, very well - in all honestly that was the plan, that is always the plan.
“Amore, let me go. Let me go and your punishment will be tame,” he voiced looking at you, now positioned on top of his lap, touching yourself right then and there.
“I sense you want to be punished puppy, don't you?” You simply nod your head, eyes closed in pleasure.
“You see, the problem is you will not enjoy what I am thinking.”
“Mhmn.”
“Well, get yourself off now that you can, cause after I get my hands on you… You’re not getting to cum for days, amore.”
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Honestly, anywhere. I can see him having a preference to the luxury of either of your houses or a hotel room but if you push his buttons just right, some restaurant’s bathroom it is.
why can i imagine him having sex at a weeding venue’s bathroom….. omg…..
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Honestly, both. I feel like he would be extremely good at giving it, but would never opposed to receiving
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He’s ok with them but he doesn’t love them, ya know?
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.
Is surely try to do new things but it will always depends on what it is.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Come on. This goes without saying. He is a drummer for a living. He can surely go on for long…
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
I def feel like he has a fair amount of toys. Some for himself, some for you… He looooves using them to punish you.
(small mention to my last fic little puppet)
“Beautiful, puppy! You have been doing so good for us, taking your punishment so well, but we are not done yet.” A buzz sound is what concerned the girl, eyes widening at the toy.
It was a small remote virator, imitating sucking on the clit. The drummer placed the girl over his knees, stuffing the toy between his leg and her clit, shocking the sensitive bud. “I think you can take a few more spanks,” said the man, landing one at the expanse of her thigh, the skin giggling at the contact.
“Damiano, count,” ordered the assertive man, seeing his friend kneel in front of Y/N, kissing her and then doing as he was told.
“I think we were left on twenty-three. Twenty four,” he began, counting all the way to forty before the ordeal was over.
The whole time Y/N was shaking, just about to fall off the edge, asking for permission to cum but her wishes were not granted just yet. She was exhausted, overstimulated, frustrated, and now unable to move on her own. But, oh man did she need more. The two men were more than willing to assist her.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
A ton! It’s his specialty. Maybe one of his most common punishments is edging and teasing. He can drag it on for days
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He is not very loud but is surely encouraging you to be.
tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11 @teenyweenynightghost
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quokkacore · 3 years
Text
with great power I [lee jeno]
summary: there are two things jeno loves most about his life. one being spiderman, the other being you, his best friend. there’s just one issue: after your father’s death, you decide you hate both spiderman and yourself.
pairing: lee jeno x reader
genre: superhero au, high school au, coming of age, best friends to strangers(ish) to lovers, fluff, ANGST, minor crack
warnings (for this chapter): language, violence, gun violence, the mafia, parental death, police presence, sexual references, bullying (ily san im sorry), the dreamies being dicks to each other, police corruption, towards the end jeno experiences something similar to sensory overload, americanized names, pop culture references, VERY jeno centric
song rec: we go up - nct dream // any song - zico // 21 questions - waterparks // talk (remix feat. megan thee stallion & yo gotti) - khalid // sunrise - ateez // i really like you - carly rae jepsen // dare - gorillaz // stray kids - the tortoise and the hare
word count: 10.5k
a/n: this is so late...... i blame attack on titan. but hey!! better late than never :] a huge thanks to @doderyscoffee​ for beta reading <3
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main masterlist // story masterlist
chapter one: jeno and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week
Jeno despised Tuesdays. He was pretty sure that Tuesdays despised Jeno as well because all of his worst days just so happen to be Tuesdays. He was 96% sure that, if there was a god, his day off was on Tuesdays, or that the planets aligned in such a manner on Tuesdays that it caused universal despair and misery. If he was to take Donghyuck's word for it, his chakra attracted negative energy the most on Tuesdays.
When Jeno was 5, his goldfish Pippin had died on a Tuesday. When he had his ass handed to him on the playground by San Choi in the third grade, it was a Tuesday. And in the seventh grade, he'd failed his Spanish test, missed his bus and walked home in the rain only to find out that his Aunt Sunny was at work, he'd left his keys in his locker and that had to wait an hour before she got home to unlock it for him, all on a Tuesday. 
And wouldn't you know it, here he was, late for the first day of senior year, which was, of all days, a godforsaken Tuesday.
In his eternal wisdom, he'd stayed up gaming with Renjun until two in the morning, and because of it, slept through his three alarms, one set at six-thirty, the other at 6:45, the last one at 7:00. 
He'd woken up at 7:17, to the sound of his elderly neighbor's pet chihuahua barking at a pigeon, checked the time, immediately panicked, sped into the shower, gotten dressed in a haste, grabbed a few granola bars from the pantry, and ran out the door while trying to jam his backpack closed, and managed to catch the train at 7:40, which took about twenty minutes to get to his stop, plus a ten-minute walk to school, and class started at 8:10. Not to mention he’d have to stop by the office and pick up his schedule. At best, he’d be five minutes late to his first class. But tardies were tardies, regardless, and the last thing he needed was to lose his perfect attendance streak. 
He fished out his phone while standing on the train, waiting for his stop, scrolling through Instagram, and liking random pictures. A ping! from his phone caught his attention, then two, then a third. He smiled softly when your name popped up on his screen.
[7:48 AM]
y/n: pssst
y/n: shithead
y/n: where r u ????
[7:49 AM] 
y/n: i can sEE u online on ig u know
jeno: …… i'm on the train
jeno: woke up late
y/n: YOURE GONNA BE LATR
y/n: LATE*
y/n: ON THE FIRST DAY OF SENIOR YEAR
[7:50]
jeno: probably, yeah
jeno: it's the school district's fault, why would they make the first day of school on a fkn TUESDAY 
y/n: ohhh yeahh its terrible tuesday
y/n: [sent an attachment!]
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[7:51 AM]
jeno: SHUT UP
jeno: you're not funny >:(
jeno: how dare you laugh at my misfortune
y/n: au contraire im hilarious
jeno: meanie :(
jeno: im gonna be late i hate it here
jeno: it'll end up on my permanent record and i'm not gonna get into college and then i'm gonna die,,,
[7:52 AM] 
y/n: sometimes ur worse than hyuck i swear 
y/n: FIRST OF ALL permanent records dont even exist !!!!!! its propaganda duh
y/n: also ur literally never late 
y/n: im sure o n e tardy wont do anything chill
y/n: dont be stupid youll be fine
Don’t be stupid. Too little, too late, he thought, already having got off the train at a previous stop. Now, he was looking for an unoccupied street or alleyway, which, for once, was easy, taking a deep breath before he did the exact opposite of what you’d told him not to do. Don’t be stupid. 
The buildings are low, he thought to himself, it’ll be easier to see me. 
Don’t be stupid.
Too late!
Thwip!
Jeno didn’t hesitate to use the web fluid to pull himself up onto the wall, climbing in a haste, before running and jumping onto the next building. He quickly built up a quick pace, using the web fluid occasionally to swing onto a building slightly out of jumping range. 
Signs in English, Chinese, Korean, and Spanish flew past him as he seemingly flew over the Queens traffic, leaving Flushing behind and crossing quickly into College Point quicker than he would if he took the train. He glanced to his left and caught a view of the bay, and far across it, the LaGuardia airport watchtower.
Jeno had lived in New York City his entire life. He knew Queens like the back of his hand, knew every dingy alleyway, every sketchy street, which restaurants to avoid if you didn’t want to get food poisoning, which convenience store aunties were the nicest and didn’t pinch his cheeks too hard. It was his home, and most likely would be for the rest of his life. 
But seeing it like this, flying past him below as he glided with ease from building to building would never cease to be a sight to him. It was like watching from the perspective of an outsider, seeing people in their cars, walking along the street gave him a brand new perspective. A Jeno’s eye view, he called it, since he was pretty sure he was the only one in New York City.
Another noise from his phone brought him back to reality. He shook his head, stopping briefly to catch his breath and fish out his phone briefly. 
[7:57 AM] 
y/n: let me know when u get here !!!
No time to respond, he put away the phone and continued his trek to school. He had less than ten minutes to get there. But he knew he was already at least five minutes away, much quicker than he would be if he had decided to stick to the train. He smiled a bit to himself, feeling ever so slightly smug.
The hustle and bustle of the city definitely proved challenging to find a place to land without many eyes, but he figured it out eventually, landing behind a dumpster in an alleyway behind a restaurant that he knew was about three or four blocks from the school. He figured it would be a lot better to take it on foot from here. The notebooks he was carrying in his backpack bounced up and down with every step he took. 
After what seemed like forever, the gates to the school appeared in his view, and Jeno felt a joy in his heaving chest, something he would have never thought would happen upon seeing the absolute hellhole that was Samuel Morse High School. 
[8:06 AM]
jeno: just did >:D
Picking up his schedule was both quick and insanely long. He couldn’t stop himself from tapping his left foot while the secretary found his schedule and handed it to him. “Kibum, please hurry,” He muttered, and Kibum raised an eyebrow at him, but his gaze was teasing. “That’s Mr. Kim to you, in school at least.” 
He handed Jeno his schedule a few seconds later. “Tell your Aunt to come pick up her casserole dish, by the way. She left it at my house after my last viewing party.”
“The Bachelor?”
“Please. We’re too classy for that. Drag Race.”
“Ah. I see.”
“Jeno,” Kibum said, staring up at him from his desk, his gaze now much more serious, “Get to class. Happy first day of senior year.”
“Thanks, Mr. Kim.”
He managed to make it to chemistry class at 8:09 with seconds to spare. His eyes quickly scanned the room upon entering, hoping his friends were in the class with him. He caught a few familiar faces, most of which, like San Choi's, he wished to avoid. No one paid him any mind. Everyone was still speaking to the people next to them, no doubt exchanging stories of summer vacation. 
  A hand shot up towards the back, waving at him. A smile stretched across his face as he registered your face, feet not hesitating to carry him towards the empty seat next to you. His heart skipped a beat at seeing your smile, and he tried his best to ignore it.
“Hey,” You greeted, “That was fast. I thought you said you were gonna be late.”
Jeno shrugged, eyes landing on the dark shade of the lab table. “The train was a lot faster than I expected, apparently.”
You wrinkled your nose. “Why do you smell so bad?”
“I, uh… ran a little.” 
You grimaced, and Jeno tried to casually sniff at his slightly sweaty clothes. It’s not that bad. “I still don’t understand why you won’t let me drive you to school. You’re literally next door.”
“I don’t know,” He answered, rolling his eyes, “Maybe it’s because when it comes to that truck, you are absolutely insane. You won’t even let me drink water in that thing.”
The truck in question, a faded red 1998 Chevrolet S-10, had been your gift to yourself for your 17th birthday. You’d spent two summers saving up to buy yourself a truck, and that was what you were able to get for what you had. To say it was a huge piece of junk on wheels was an understatement. 
The thing smelled like mothballs no matter how many air fresheners you bought it, the engine sounded like an old man having a coughing fit, and there was a very suspicious stain in the backseat that wouldn’t go away no matter how many times you scrubbed it. But for some reason, you treated it like it was your own baby. The amount of times you’d yelled at Jaemin for trying to put his feet on the dashboard was too high to count.
You mirrored his movement, eyes rolling as you sighed. “At least let me drive you home after school today. Maybe you can stay and we can finally watch Blade Runner.”
You’d been trying to get him to watch the film for almost a month now, begging and pleading because you insisted that he’d love it. He offered an awkward stare, before opening his backpack and pulling out a notebook. “Can’t,” He mumbled, “I’m headed into Manhattan. I have my internship afterwards.”
“Oh, yeah,” You said nonchalantly, eyebrows shooting up as you remembered, “Park Industries.” 
He was about to reply when Mrs. Baker, the chemistry teacher, finally entered. She’d been working at SMHS for 30 years and had never, apparently, been nice, if his Aunt Sunny’s stories were anything to go by. However, she had apparently always spoken as if she smoked two packs a day. She was rambling about the importance of making the most of senior year academically, adult responsibilities, college, and whatnot. You and Jeno exchanged glances often throughout the monologue, hoping it would end soon. 
“Enough of that,” She said after what seemed like an eternity, “Everyone quiet down, I’m going to call roll.”
Names were quickly called, and Jeno was ready to pull out a pencil and start working with you until Mrs Baker demanded a switch in seats, beginning to call on random names in an effort to deter everyone from speaking. 
"Please not with Choi, please not with Choi," Jeno muttered under his breath, glancing warily at San, who was staring ahead, looking bored. 
San had had it out for Jeno ever since day one, in first grade. For some reason, everything Jeno did seemed to annoy the other boy. He wasn't funny enough, or too nerdy, or too quiet. Jeno was always too much or too little for him. 
You touched his forearm, and he looked towards you. 
“You’ll be fine,” You said softly, trying not to alert the teacher, “You’re not gonna get paired up with him, and you can take it to the office if you need to.” “Yeah, because I’m sure Coach Peralta would be thrilled if someone tried to get his precious midfielder in trouble.”
“Choi, San,” Mrs Baker’s voice rang throughout the room, and Jeno braced himself for the worst, eyebrows furrowing with worry. 
“You’ll be sitting with… L/N, Y/N.” 
Jeno’s shoulders slumped, but your face remained impassive. You picked up your stuff, and pouted silently at Jeno in apology, before making your way to the front. 
“Lee, Jeno,” Mrs Baker called a few minutes later, “You’ll be sitting with Jang, Yeeun.”
He breathed out a sigh of relief. Yeeun is nice, Jeno thought to himself, I could sit with Yeeun. She wasn’t part of his main friend group, but he had tutored her in math during sophomore year in exchange for her helping him with Spanish, and they’d been pretty friendly ever since. 
“Hey,” Yeeun greeted as Jeno sat down, and Jeno smiled at her. 
“Remember, these will be your assigned lab partners for the rest of the semester. No changes, no exceptions.” Mrs. Baker sat down at her desk, before beginning to talk about something Jeno didn’t really pay attention to.
You exchanged glances with Jeno, and he gave you a look of sympathy as you gestured at San with your eyes. San was talking to you about something—probably bragging about some soccer achievement—but you weren’t paying him much attention. Jeno swallowed something growing in his throat as he looked at how your hair looked today. 
It was nothing relatively new, the same hairstyle you used on most days. But still, there was a bit of a shine to it. He wondered vaguely if you had changed your shampoo, the other day you’d been complaining about how itchy your normal shampoo made your scalp—
“You still haven’t told her about how you feel?” Yeeun asked quietly, and Jeno’s head snapped back to look at her, eyes wide.
“W-what? Me. Like Y/N…” He laughed nervously, trying to keep his voice down. He scratched the back of his head, avoiding Yeeun’s accusatory stare. “You’re hilarious, Yeeun. Tell another one.”
Yeeun shook her head. “You’d better hurry before someone else snatches her up, Jen. She’s not gonna wait around for you forever.”
 “I don’t like her, Yeeun.” 
“Keep telling yourself that.”
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“Hey! Jeno Lee!”
“Hey! Jaemin Na! What do you want!” Jeno answered as he sat down, mimicking Jaemin’s tone next to him.
“Well, for starters, a million dollars, and second, a date with Yiren Wang, but I doubt you can help me with either of those, so...”
Jeno glanced at the rest of the table. Along with Jaemin, Mark,  Renjun, Donghyuck, and you were watching the interaction between the pair. “Where are the munchkins?” Jeno asked, noticing Chenle and Jisung’s absence. No one could really call them munchkins anymore. That nickname dated back to middle school, before the two underclassmen had gone through growth spurts.
“Eh, they should be here soon,” Renjun said, chewing on a french fry, “How’s your day been?”
“Pretty good so far, I guess. I got AP Calc with Mr. Washington later, though. That man wants me dead.”
You rolled your eyes. “He doesn’t want you dead. I’m telling you, you and Hyuck have been spending way too much time together. You’re being more dramatic than usual and Hyuck’s being more… weird than usual.”
“And just what is so weird about being enthusiastic about senior year, Y/N?” Donghyuck asked, shaking his head, “It’s our last year in this hellhole, I’m excited that we’re finally getting out of here. And besides—”
“Please don’t bring up the fact that you’re abandoning us next year.” Chenle seemingly appeared out of nowhere, sitting next to Renjun, Jisung following quickly behind him.
“Hi, Sungie,” You said with a smile, and Jisung smiled back. “Hi, Y/N.”
“What were you saying, Hyuck?” Jaemin looked at Donghyuck, who had taken the quick interaction as an opportunity to take a bite of his sandwich. His wide eyes darted to the slim boy, cheeks stuffed with chicken. 
“Oh,” He replied after swallowing, “This is gonna be my year. I’m getting male lead for the winter musical and no one is gonna stop me.”
“Do you even know what musical you guys are doing yet?” Mark asked, “What if it’s like… Shrek?”
Jisung made a face. “There’s a Shrek musical?”
Mark nodded, and Renjun laughed.
“I don’t know about male lead, if it’s Shrek. You should try out for Donkey,” The Chinese boy joked, “With those front teeth, you’re a shoo-in.”
The entire table was silent for a moment, before snorts and chortles started pouring out from everyone except Donghyuck.
“Fuck you, Huang.” 
Renjun flashed the friendliest smile he could muster. “Not if you paid me a million dollars.”
The subject remained on extracurriculars, everyone in your group except for Chenle and Jisung now wary of college applications. Donghyuck had been in theater ever since middle school, Renjun was in the robotics club and the debate team with Jaemin, who was also in the student council. Mark was on the math team with Jeno, and you had founded the film club. 
"You're not gonna believe who asked to sign up for film," You huffed, looking kind of confused. The rest of the table looked at you expectantly, and you pursed your lips, almost as if you were trying not to laugh.
"San Choi."
Renjun scoffed. Jaemin raised his eyebrows before letting out a single, humorless laugh. Jeno made a face, poking his plastic fork at you. 
"What is San Choi doing asking to sign up for film?"
"Fuck if I know. He said he needed one more extracurricular if he wanted to get into some college in Florida and he liked going to the movies, so he wanted to try out film."
Mark rolled his eyes. "I swear there's nothing in that guy's head but hot gas. It blows my mind."
"He's a dick," Chenle grumbled, "I'm still not over how he and Wooyoung taped Jisung to the flagpole last year."
Jisung scowled. "I thought we agreed to never bring that up again."
“Do you think they’ll finally calm the fuck down this year?” Jaemin wondered, looking wistful.
You took a sip of your coke and shook your head. “Doubt it. They’re not the hateful eight for a reason.”
The mood at the table turned tense, until Jaemin frowned at his french fries, before sighing and clapping his hands together dramatically. “I would like to hear,” He mused, “About the nuance that theatre gives the cinematic masterpiece that is Shrek when converted into musical form.”
Donghyuck beamed. “Oh, it’s amazing. You see…”
If it was difficult to get Donghyuck to stop talking in general, it was impossible when it was about theater.
The conversation continued on until the bell rang, and the eight of you had to go your separate ways. Jaemin and Jeno had the same class, so they both walked together down a relatively calm hallway. Jaemin looked both ways, before finally lowering his voice. 
“So, you’re going to see Mr. Park today?”
Jeno nodded, looking down at his shoes. “He said he wanted to give me an assignment. Says there’s something big going on.”
Jaemin’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Did he say what kind of something?” 
Jeno shook his head, pouting slightly. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.” 
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Once school was out, Jeno was getting ready to get onto the subway once again, this time heading towards Midtown. It was only day one and, as Jeno had predicted, Mr. Washington probably was out to get him, because he’d swamped the class with homework.
As he left the school, he spotted you in the parking lot, leaning against your car door, texting someone. He glanced at his phone. He still had plenty of time, he figured. He walked over to you, and when you looked up, you smiled. 
“Hey!” Your voice had that signature tone of enthusiasm to it, and Jeno smiled back immediately. 
“Hello,” He sing-songed. “So, I was thinking… are you free on Friday night?”
You looked somewhere above his head, furrowing your eyebrows before you perked up again and nodded. “Yep! Why?”
“I’m free after nine. Maybe then I could come over to your house? So I can finally get you to stop harassing me about Blade Runner.”
You grinned, pumping your fists enthusiastically. “Hell yes,” You answered, “Do you want me to get like, some frozen pizzas or something?” 
“Pizza sounds good,” He said. “Who are you even waiting for?” 
You made a face that made it seem as if you’d just gotten a whiff of rotten milk. “Well—”
Your response was interrupted when the school doors slammed open, and eight figures poured out, carrying themselves with confidence Jeno both envied and despised. He frowned, trying not to react at their loud whooping and laughing. The Hateful Eight.
“Oh.” Jeno averted his gaze, meeting your eyes again.
“Yeah. If you don’t hear from me later it’s because I jumped out of my truck because I don’t wanna work with—”
“Well, hello, gorgeous!” San’s voice filled the parking lot, and Jeno took a deep breath. Your mouth stretched into a tight-lipped smile at the unwanted ‘compliment’. 
“Hey, San.” Your friendly passive aggressive tone almost made Jeno smile. “I’ve been waiting here for like, fifteen minutes. You could have just given me your number and asked me to send you pictures of my notes, you know.”
He shrugged, turning his body so that his back was turned to Jeno. “Sorry, babe. Coach wanted to talk to us about the upcoming season. When he gets going, it’s hard to get him to stop. And besides, where’s the fun in just asking for pictures when I could come here, talk to you, and take the pictures myself?”
You didn’t respond, but rather pulled out your backpack and began digging through it. When you pulled out your notebook, you handed it to San, who flashed a wink at you. You barely held back a gag. 
“Thanks, Y/N. I’ll just be a minute.” 
He walked over to the hood of your truck, and just as you were about to continue your conversation, two figures slung their arms around both of Jeno’s shoulders, causing him to flinch. 
Out of the fifteen soccer players on the team, San and his best friends—seven of them, to be precise—were the worst. The others were pretty nice. But right now, seeing two of those seven surround your best friend made you uneasy. 
Wooyoung was loud. He was also a temperamental brat. His dad owned three used car dealerships over in Brooklyn, so naturally, he thought he owned the entire world. He wasn’t someone who would get too physical in fights, like San, or Jongho, or Yeosang. But when he was angry, he could easily get you to jump into the stratosphere by yelling at you once. Over the years, he’d made several teaching assistants and substitute teachers cry, only getting let off with a slap on the wrist every time. 
 Yunho was terrifying for completely different reasons. He was friendly, but a little too friendly to the people he wanted to control. He could read people like books and could easily manipulate whoever he wanted. But he wasn’t afraid of getting physical either, especially not when he was built like a goddamn Power Rangers Megazord. 
All in all, they definitely weren't anyone you wanted near you, near your friends. Especially considering how much they had it out for your friends. 
"Hey, buddy," Yunho said, looking down at Jeno with a wide smile. "How was summer vacation?"
Jeno gnawed on the side of his cheek as he considered his answer. "Um, it was okay." He looked at you to catch your eyes darting between San, Yunho and Wooyoung, like you were analyzing the situation. "I kinda stayed in and played video games most of the t—"
"Cool, cool," Yunho answered, carding his free hand through his bleach blond hair. "What about you, Woo?"
"Oh, dude, it was so cool," He bragged, "I went to Brazil for like, a month. I went clubbing with Instagram models and shit, it was wild."
You stared at him as he patted Jeno on the back rather aggressively. "Where did you go? Have you ever even left New York?" 
You knew the answer. Only a few times when the debate team went to compete in different states. Jeno spoke up again. "Well, yeah a few t—"
"Doubt it," Yunho scoffed. He craned his head back. "San, you done yet?"
"Almost!" San answered. Yunho turned to face you, and for some reason his smile seemed genuinely kind. “What about you, Y/N?”
You never understood why it was that the soccer team hated your entire friend group, but seemed to tolerate you. It made no sense.
So you shrugged. “Not a lot, I guess. Did my summer reading. Hung out with my friends.” You flashed a reassuring smile at Jeno. “Right, Jen?”
Immediately, he relaxed a little bit. “Yeah.”
San appeared from behind Yunho, Jeno and Wooyoung. “Thanks, Y/N. I owe you one.”
You waved your hand, wanting them to get rid of them quickly. “Don’t mention it. But next time, just text me for my notes. I have to get to work, so…”
“Oh! My bad,” He answered with fake remorse, before unlocking his phone and handing it over to you. “Here. For next time.”
You stifled a deep sigh, punching in the numbers hesitantly. “Just for homework, got it?”
San took his phone back, holding a hand over his heart and raised his head. “On a gentleman's honor,” He declared, and you bit back a laugh. Jeno looked like he was going to hurl.
“San!” The team captain—Hongjoong—called from a few feet away, “Are you guys done yet or what?”
“Coming!” San yelled back.
“Alright, we’ll let you go,” Wooyoung said, patting Jeno on the back again, a bit too harsh for comfort. “Bye, Y/N! See you around.”
 The three of them stalked off, leaving you and a very frazzled Jeno. “Dicks,” You muttered once they were out of earshot. “You good?”
Jeno shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. “I’ll be fine.”
You tilted your head, frowning. “Jeno—”
“I gotta go,” He said quickly. “I’ll see you later?”
You nodded, offering a lopsided smile. “Yeah. Be careful!” 
Jeno offered a deep bow, fluttering his eyelashes. “On a gentleman’s honor,” He sighed, adding a very bad British accent to it. You burst out laughing, eyes squeezing shut.
You didn’t catch the way Jeno’s shoulders relaxed at the sound.
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I want you to know now
Baby, it could go down
I don’t wanna talk about it
Baby, let’s just go now
The train ride into Midtown didn’t take too long. He spent it digging through his backpack for his Park Industries lanyard, listening to music and thinking about you.
When you talk right to me 
You gon’ have to do me
Every time you think you’re leaving 
You running back to me
You’d met Jeno when you were six. Truth be told, he didn’t really remember. For him it was like you weren’t there at one point and by the time you were, you were thicker than thieves. It was a difficult time for him. He had just lost both of his parents, and was moving in with his Aunt Sunny and his Uncle Jinki, who were barely out of college at the time. He’d had to move to a new school and basically restart his entire life. You were the first sense of stability in his life for months. 
Your mom lived next to his aunt and uncle. So naturally, you went to the same school and went on the same bus. And somewhere along the way, you two clicked. You’d introduced him to Renjun, Jaemin and Donghyuck. You were there to comfort him whenever he got pushed off the slide by San or Wooyoung. 
He was there for you when your stepdad and stepbrother moved in when you were nine and you weren’t sure how to deal with it. He was there when your mom died when you were thirteen. He’d introduced you and your friends to Mark, Chenle and Jisung. 
And you were there when his Uncle Jinki got killed when he was fifteen. And because fate had an especially cruel sense of irony, it had happened on a Tuesday. You didn’t know, but at the time, he had just gotten his powers. Your comfort and words unknowingly had a secondary effect: he made the decision to use them for good, and… well. The rest was history. 
Can we just talk? Can we just talk?
Talk about where we're goin'
Before we get lost, lend me your thoughts
Can't get what we want without knowin'
Just like when he met you, he didn’t recall an exact moment where he realized he’d fallen in love with you. He knew there was a world where he loved you, but wasn’t in love with you. And he knew that there was a world here he’d fallen in love with you—he was living in that world now. He realized he was living in that world maybe when he was sixteen, and had been stuck in it ever since. 
You were it for him. He’d had crushes before. But never something like this, where he was so aware of your presence around him. It wasn’t the way he was hyper aware of someone like San, or like Yunho or Jongho. It wasn’t out of anxiety or fear, where a shift in mood activated his fight or flight. He was aware of you in a way that only people who truly know each other do, where he could pick up on subtle changes in your behavior, but not out of fear. Rather, out of a desire to take care of you and to not have you worry about anything. 
I've never felt like this before
I apologize if I'm movin' too far
Can we just talk? Can we just talk?
Figure out where we're goin'...
As the train rolled into the station that was a fifteen minute walk from Park Tower, Jeno put away his headphones and took a deep breath.
The “Jeno Tingle” as his Aunt Sunny called it—Jeno hated the term—had taken him a few years to gain control of. And while he could never truly turn it off, he could at least tune it out enough to be more at ease. The only time he did so was at school or when he was studying, just because he wanted to feel normal, and because being aware of everything going on around him really messed with his concentration. 
Jaemin didn’t understand. “If I was able to tell whenever Seonghwa was behind me because he wanted to scare me into doing his chemistry homework, I’d never turn that shit off,” He’d said once. But truthfully, Jeno didn’t really care. Because while yes, he was still slightly scared of the “hateful eight”, he knew damn well that if things got to be too much, he could kick their asses if he wanted to. 
It was his friends he worried about. He couldn’t be around them 24/7. You, not so much. He knew you knew how to fight. Even worse, he knew that San had the hots for you so you were off limits to the rest of them, be it bullying or flirting. But for everyone else… Well. He couldn’t hover over them like some guardian angel. 
Now that the “Jeno Tingle” was on, it allowed him to sense everyone within a certain range around him. He could zero in on certain sounds with ease, and his reflexes became heightened. Halfway on his walk up Park Avenue, he jumped away from a chihuahua on its leash a second before it started barking at him.
When he entered the first floor lobby of the Park Building, he scoured the crowd of employees and visitors until he landed on one familiar face. 
He'd met Doyoung about a year after his dad started dating your mom. Things between your parents were starting to get serious, and Doyoung was four years older than you were. When they moved into your house, Doyoung as your new stepbrother became the de facto chaperone and babysitter. If you wanted to go to the mall with Jeno, he had to take you. Every time you dragged Jeno to the movies, Doyoung had to go also. 
To an extent, it wasn't that bad. Doyoung was cool, and he was smart—he was the one who got Jeno interested in computers and chemistry. He graduated high school at 16, and finished his bachelor's degree at 19. He'd also interned at Park Industries, and secured a job there almost immediately after college. 
To an extent, he was the whole reason Mr. Park knew who he was, because of one incident. It was relatively soon after he started the whole vigilante thing. Jeno, still figuring out how to maneuver on the webs that shot out of his wrists, had accidentally crashed into your backyard late at night, when only Doyoung was awake. He was standing in the back door while he was waiting for his dog to finish peeing. 
Initially, the older boy had freaked out, thinking that it was a burglar or something. When he yelled out that his dad was a cop and was asleep in the house, Jeno panicked, and pulled off his mask, holding up his hands.
“Woah, woahwoahwoah! Doyoung! It’s me, it’s me!” 
Doyoung’s eyes had widened to the size of saucers, paying no mind to the dog as it sauntered up to Jeno, before turning onto its back in a request for belly rubs.
"You're the spider guy everyone's been talking about!?"
"Spider man," Jeno had answered, voice cracking as he dusted himself off. He cringed at the sound of his voice. "...and yes."
Of course, his cover was blown, and he'd begged Doyoung not to tell anyone, especially not you. And while Doyoung had promised not to tell you, it didn't stop him from telling his boss. 
That had been almost three years ago now. The rest was history, and after that Jeno didn’t have to run around in bright red sweatpants and dollar store swimming goggles. Now, he had a nanotech suit that allowed him to activate protocols of the suit through voice commands using something top-secret Mr. Park called D.R.E.A.M technology. Direct Response Engaged As Machine—yeah, Jeno didn’t get it either. 
Doyoung offered Jeno a smile as he escorted Jeno past security, showing them his employee clearance pass. "Hey. How have you been?"
Jeno shrugged, recounting his day in minor detail as he was led into an elevator labeled authorized personnel only. 
This elevator only went up to the 35th floor, seeing as everything past that was only cleared for a certain list of people approved by Mr. Park and his security team, and everything past the 90th floor were Mr. Park's private living quarters. 
Now, as Doyoung led him to another elevator to head up to the 85th floor, which was always where Jeno got to meet with Mr. Park—which wasn't often, maybe once or twice a year—he wondered where he would be if he hadn’t surprised Doyoung that night. He would probably still be using those ugly red sweatpants as part of his disguise.
"How's Y/N?" Doyoung asked. 
"Oh, she seems okay. That guy who hates me keeps coming onto her though. He's a huge douchebag."
Doyoung frowned. "He's not harassing her, is he? Because if he is—"
"He just won't stop flirting, even though she clearly isn't interested," Jeno said bitterly, "He isn't physical or anything. Trust me, it wouldn't end well for him if he was."
Doyoung wasn't quite sure how to respond to the younger boy's dark tone. He looked down, clearing his throat awkwardly.
“So… how’s the apartment?” Jeno asked. Doyoung perked up instantly.
“Oh, now that Taeyong’s moved in and did his interior design thing, it looks great. He’s really done a great job at it.”
“When am I gonna meet this guy? He sounds cool.”
“He’s really cool,” Doyoung hummed, cheeks heating up. “Things are getting really serious.”
Jeno smiled at how flustered Doyoung, who was normally so level headed and calm, became at the mention of his boyfriend.
“You guys sound like a really good couple,” He said. Doyoung chuckled, waving his hand. “Oh, well—” 
 The elevator dinged, and Doyoung sighed. “I’ll tell you later. C’mon.”
The hallway it opened up to was lined with pictures of the company's history, starting from pictures of black and white of people in vintage clothing, to pictures in sepia tones to finally pictures of the current CEO at locations around the world: Chanyeol Park.
Jeno walked behind Doyoung as he led him down the hallway, before stopping in front of a door, and a friendly looking man in a suit. 
Junmyeon was a part of Chanyeol’s Security and Intelligence team, and often sat in on these meetings with Jeno. The chain of contact also included him. If Jeno couldn’t contact Doyoung (which rarely happened), he’d contact Junmyeon. And if he couldn’t contact either of them, or it was an emergency, only then could he contact Chanyeol. So far, that had only happened once.
"Hey, Junmyeon," Doyoung said, "Mr. Park's 4:30 is here." 
Junmyeon nodded, before smiling at Jeno and giving him a wave. "Hey, kid."
Jeno offered an awkward grin. "Hi, Mr. Kim."
Junmyeon rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Kid, you're making me feel ancient. I've told you a million times, just call me Junmyeon."
Jeno shuffled awkwardly, before nodding at the older man, watching as he pressed a button on his earpiece. "Hey, Yeol. Jeno's here."
The muffled response was barely heard, but Jeno automatically understood what Mr. Park said. Junmyeon turned to open the door, and let the pair inside. The “office”—if it could even be called that—opened up to more of a lounge, than anything. A wall of glass overlooked the Manhattan skyline, but Jeno knew that from the outside it looked only like a wall, due to camouflage technology developed by Mr. Park himself. As Doyoung and Junmyeon stayed back, closer to the door, Jeno took a few steps toward the man in question.
Chanyeol was standing a few feet in front of the glass window, working on a holographic model of a new piece of tech. His face was turned downward in a concentrated frown. He barely spared the teenager a glance as he said fondly, “Hey, kid.”
Jeno was used to this. Chanyeol wasn’t cold per se, but he wasn’t warm at all. He knew that Chanyeol cared about him, even if he didn’t really show it in a conventional way. Chanyeol was a very… eccentric man, so he had his own way of saying and doing things. 
“Hi, Mr. Park. Um… you wanted to talk to me?”
“Yep! Needed some help from the friendly neighborhood Spiderman… A little birdie told me about something going on in Queens.”
“Queens?” Jeno asked, gripping the straps of his backpack. “You mean, other than the usual stuff?”
“Other than the usual stuff,” Chanyeol repeated, nodding. With a wave of his hand, the hologram disappeared, and another one appeared in its place. This time, instead of a 3D model, a few pictures and another, smaller 3D model appeared. Chanyeol turned to face him, frown deepening. He pointed at the model—a long, shiny oval-shaped purple stone. It reminded Jeno of an amethyst, but instead of turning white at the base, it turned to an iridescent jade tone. “You know what this is, right?”
Jeno nodded, remembering seeing the rocks all over the news when he was a kid. “That’s… that’s a Chitauri stone. From the invasion a few years back.”
Chanyeol nodded, standing up straight. “These stones have the potential to power weapons with no need to recharge, or change them out. They’re an infinite, extremely strong power source, Jeno, and in the wrong hands can be very dangerous.”
Jeno took a deep breath, feeling his stomach sink slowly. Chanyeol sighed. “Cleanup of the city after the invasion was long, and difficult, and obviously the government and the company weren’t able to get everything. It caused a black market to pop up. Now, the NYPD has been investigating it for years, but they have their limits… that’s where you come in.”
“M-me, Mr. Park?”
Chanyeol gave him a crooked, reassuring smile. He pointed at one of the pictures, which was of a man who most likely didn’t know he was photographed. He was walking somewhere, face looking angry and stern.
“You don’t know who this is, right?”
Jeno shook his head, and Chanyeol turned his head to nod at Junmyeon. “You’re up, tough guy.”
Junmyeon huffed, before walking up to Jeno. He put his hand on Jeno’s shoulder as if he could tell that he was growing anxious. 
“Jeno, that’s Henry Duke. From what we understand on the intel team, he’s one of the cornerstones of the alien tech black market. He’s one of the top dogs. From what we understand, he likes to be present for all major negotiations that his group makes. A source of ours told us that there’s going to be a negotiation on Friday night not too far away from LaGuardia. We want you to go out there and just get a feel of what’s going on.”
“Just watch them, right?” Jeno looked at Junmyeon, who patted his back reassuringly. “Just watch. Don’t engage unless you absolutely have to.”
“You can do that, right?” Chanyeol said quietly, crossing his arms. “Because if not, then it’s totally—”
“Yeah, of course I can! Friday—shit, Friday. At what time are they supposed to be meeting up?”
Junmyeon furrowed his eyebrows, before answering, “Around eight or nine.”
Jeno bit his lip, thinking about the promise he’d made to you. It would just have to wait, he supposed. Chanyeol rarely asked anything this big of him.
“Alright,” Jeno agreed, “I’ll do it.”
Chanyeol grinned, clapping his hands together. 
“Perfect.” 
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They discussed logistics briefly after. Doyoung would be on call with Jeno, his custom made suit allowing them to communicate, letting Doyoung see everything Jeno was seeing via a video feed coming from the ultra thin lenses placed in the white eye sockets of the mask. Doyoung would then report to Junmyeon, who would report to Chanyeol, who would probably report to the FBI. Jeno was only to engage if absolutely necessary.
After that, he set out on patrol. He usually found some discreet place to hide his backpack, and then went all over Queens looking for trouble, quite literally. Around five thirty, he stopped a robbery in Murray Hill. Then, around seven, he stopped a man from stealing a woman’s purse in Elmhurst. Nothing too much.
Around eight, he finally headed home, this time dressed normally, using the train and not web fluid. He walked home, tired, knowing that he’d immediately have to do that cursed AP calc homework. When he got home, he opened his backpack pocket to look for his keys, rummaging between his notebooks and other things. 
Shuffling through his stuff, he furrowed his eyebrows as he couldn’t find them. Thinking back, he remembered this morning, when he’d left in a rush… and had very obviously left his keys on his desk.
“Shit,” He muttered to himself. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, remembering that Aunt Sunny had said she’d be working overtime tonight. He could very easily sneak in through his window, but he was pretty sure he’d locked it the night before, and it was too early. People’s lights were still on—anyone could see him if they just looked up, and then he would be screwed. 
Huffing and zipping his backpack up, he marched up to your house, before ringing the doorbell. He shifted his weight back and forth, from his heels to the balls of his feet, until the door opened up. A familiar man with a face just like Doyoung's, but older, with graying hair and arms scarred and muscled from years of working on the police force stood in the doorway.
“Jeno?” Your dad offered him a warm smile. “Hey, kiddo, what’s up?”
“Hi, Mr. Kim,” Jeno said, smiling back. He shifted nervously. “I, um… I left my keys in my room this morning, and my aunt’s working late, so… could I… maybe wait here? Y/N’s home, right?” 
The man nodded. “Of course, of course. Come in!” 
Your dad had always been super friendly, even from the day Jeno had first met him. You'd told Jeno once that he was the only real father figure you'd ever had. Once everything settled after him and your mom got married, you started calling him dad altogether. And since you and Jeno were practically glued at the hip, he got along with your dad almost as well as you did.
“Okay.” Jeno stepped in and set down his backpack at the base of the coat rack next to the door, as he’d done a million times before. Jeno stepped into the living room, and sat down on the couch. He folded his hands in his lap and looked up at your dad.
"I think Y/N's in the shower, but she should be done soon. You can just wait here if you want… have you eaten anything yet?”
“Uh, I had a granola bar on the train, but that’s it.”
“We have some leftover pasta here, if you want—”
“Thanks, Mr. Kim, really! I’m fine.”
Your dad nodded, sitting down on his recliner. “So, have you started your college list, yet? Y/N said you wanted to stay here in New York.”
Jeno nodded, pushing some hair out of his face. “Well, yeah. It would make things a lot easier, I think. I might want to apply to NYU, but I think I’ll just go to community college, or something.”
Your dad shook his head. “You’re a pretty smart kid, Jeno. I think you could get into Columbia if you set out to. Plus, Chanyeol Park doesn’t give out internships to anybody. That’s your secret weapon.”
Jeno smiled. “Well, you’ve got a point.” 
Your dad gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. “Come on, trying won’t hurt!” Your dad made a face, and then rubbed his knuckles. “Have you been working out? Those muscles weren’t there the last time I did that.”
Jeno laughed, trying to think of an excuse. “Oh, a little bit? The house needed some fixing up over the summer, and I wanted to help Aunt Sunny, so…”
“Jeno?” 
He turned immediately, eyes landing on you at the base of the staircase. You’d changed into an old t-shirt and pajama pants. Your hair was slightly damp. “What are you doing here?” You asked, with a curious smile.
His shoulders slumped, and he grinned sheepishly. “Terrible Tuesday strikes again. I forgot my keys.”
You grimaced. “Brutal, dude. You wanna come up?” Your eyes moved to your dad. “Or am I interrupting guy time?”
“Oh, definitely,” Jeno answered, playing along. He took a cocky tone as he rested his hands on the back of his neck. “Your dad was just telling me about how much the NYPD needs me.” 
You stifled a laugh. You dad seemed to be holding back a laugh too. "Hey, you're joking, but if you keep working out like that, and if by some impossible chance, the college thing doesn't work out… We might just be able to catch Spiderman if we finally got some brain cells on the force."
"Ugh, dad," You groaned, unaware of Jeno's gut twisting, "Not again."
"Yeah, Mr. Kim," Jeno said, scratching the back of his head, "He's not that bad."
Your dad shook his head. "Look, I don't hate the guy. In all honesty, crime rates have dropped since he started doing his thing. But he thinks he's above the law, and his methods can be a bit… unorthodox sometimes. He’s been undermining us for years and his tech is state of the art. Makes me wonder about what we should do to modernize the force."
Jeno looked downward, wondering what would happen if your dad knew the truth.
"Well, I guess we may just never find out. Jeno'd make a horrible cop. He couldn't hurt a fly if you paid him a million dollars."
But you came to the rescue as you grabbed his backpack, and soon enough he was up the stairs with you, heading into your bedroom, laughing to yourselves when you heard your dad jokingly call out, "Fifteen inch distance, you two! Door stays open!"
He sat on your desk chair while you lay on your bed, limbs splaying out. 
"So you left your keys."
Jeno groaned. "Don't remind me. I was in such a rush to leave, that I… I forgot. I'm so stupid."
You rolled your eyes, rolling over onto your stomach to look at him. "You're not stupid, Jen. You made an honest mistake because you were in a hurry." 
Standing up, you walked over to him and leaned against the desk. "Seriously, Jeno. What's gotten into you, lately? You freak out about every little thing. It's starting to worry me." 
Jeno shook his head. "I don't know," He admitted. "I think I'm just scared about how after this year, everything changes. Renjun’s headed upstate. Jaemin’s going to Boston. You want to go to LA. I think Hyuck and I are the only ones who want to stay here. I just… I don't want things to change." 
Your expression turned sad as he continued. "Everyone is expecting great things from me. You're smart, Jeno. You can get into an Ivy. Or, you have a Park internship, you'll be fine. What if I don't want things to be fine? What if I want them to just stay the same?"
You stayed silent for a few moments, trying to think of what to say. Jeno was relatively level headed for someone your age, but even he had moments of doubt and panic. It made moments like these difficult.  You sighed before grabbing him by the hand. Wordlessly, you tugged him over to the bed, sitting him down and leaning your head on his shoulder. He could feel the dampness in your hair seeping slowly into his shirt.
"I guess I understand what you mean," You mumbled, trying to reason with him, "But come on. You wouldn't really want everything to stay the same. You can't tell me you want to keep getting AP calc homework. And I definitely doubt that you'd want to have your ass kicked by San for the rest of your life."
Jeno looked at the floor. "You're right. But you know that's not what I mean—"
"I know," You huffed, "I'm just saying. Change… it's inevitable. The longer you fight it, the harder it is."
Jeno nodded. "This sucks."
"It does," You agreed, taking his hand in yours. "But at least we have each other's backs, y'know?"
Something of a smile appeared on his face. You were so close to him, leaning on him, stroking his knuckles with your thumb. He hoped you couldn't hear his heart pounding in his chest. 
"We really do, huh?" His voice turned quiet, with a bit of a sleepy lull to it. He allowed his head to rest on yours. "You're so comfortable. Can I like, use you as a pillow for the rest of my life?"
You giggled. "I'll consider it on two conditions."
"Oh, you'll consider. How generous of you."
"Yes, I'll consider. Now, do you wanna hear my terms or not?" 
Jeno raised an eyebrow. "Go ahead," He said, before putting on his best Marlon Brando voice, "Make me an offer I can't refuse."
Snorting, you lifted your head off of his. "Okay. One, you finish your calculus homework here before Sunny gets home."
He pursed his lips. "Okay, I could probably do that. What's the other one?"
"Let me drive you to school for the rest of the year." 
Jeno stared at you, and you nodded, eyes wide. "Trust me, Jen. You wouldn't need to wake up so early! And plus, you can't text the guy manning the subway asking him to give you five minutes because you need to find your keys."
Jeno gnawed on the inside of his cheek. You did have a point, and to be honest, he could probably refrain from putting his feet up on your dashboard.
"Deal." 
You grinned. "Awesome," You answered, before nodding towards his backpack. "Now get to work, Einstein."
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The rest of the week wasn't that bad. Yes, you were absolutely batshit insane about your truck in the morning, but he soon realized he didn't really mind. Not when it allowed you both to spend some twenty extra minutes together in the mornings, and they were spent joking around and listening to your extremely varied playlist. 
On the other hand, he was saddled with more and more homework, greater and greater expectations. The looming threat of Friday's mission rolled around, and it made Jeno feel like time was passing much too slowly but also way too quickly. There was so much on his mind. He had chemistry with you on Thursdays in the afternoon, which also meant that San was there. Which also meant that sometimes, his heightened senses would pick up on San dropping a tacky pick up line which made Jeno want to punch him in the jaw.
Finally, finally, Friday afternoon rolled around. As he bid you goodbye and promised to see you later, he tried to ignore the feeling in his stomach. The feeling that something was about to go very, very wrong. He went out on patrol, ready for Doyoung to set up the call and tell him where he needed to go. It didn’t help that there wasn’t a lot for him to do that day. Crime had seemed to slow down altogether. 
When the time finally came, and the sun was beginning to set, Doyoung rang in at about 7, telling him the location. An old warehouse near LaGuardia airport, hidden from prying eyes. Jeno made his way to the place, avoiding security cameras Doyoung warned him about, and found a place to hide. There was a hole in the warehouse roof, which allowed him to peer right into the building without being seen. It was about thirty feet from the ground.
“Why is it always old, abandoned warehouses?” Jeno grumbled. He heard Doyoung laugh quietly. 
“Beats me,” Doyoung sighed. 
And so they waited. Jeno wondered vaguely if you were still working. He wasn’t sure. They made time talking quietly, until a black SUV rolled into the warehouse. “Woah, Doyoung,” He murmured, “Hold up.”
Jeno leaned forward, but quickly realized he probably wouldn’t be able to hear what was being said. “D.R.E.A.M, activate Heightened Intelligence Protocol.”
Activating Heightened Intelligence Protocol.
The protocol allowed Jeno to use the lenses over his eyes to zoom in on specific targets, as well as use a microphone embedded in the suit to pick up audio from far away and feed it directly into his ears.
He watched as three figures got out of the car, a fourth remaining in the driver’s seat. The trio stood in front of the car, and Jeno recognized the man in the middle as the man Junmyeon had been talking about.
“Alright, there’s Henry Duke,” He said, “The one in the middle.”
 “Got it,” Doyoung replied, sounding satisfied. “Now all we have to do is wait for the other party.”
“Did Junmyeon’s sources say anything about who it would be?”
“No. They weren’t able to find that out. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
Jeno’s eyes never left the man. “Do you think it’s something international?”
Doyoung sighed. “I’m not sure. If it is international, then you need to be even more careful.”
“Got it. I think—Wait, here they come.” 
A second vehicle, this one another black SUV, rolled up not too far away from the first car. The lights turned off and the engine sputtered to a stop, and four men stepped out of the vehicle.
Jeno’s stomach dropped, and of its own accord, his mouth let loose a quiet, “What the fuck,” as he registered the person leading them. 
“What?” Doyoung asked, before realizing what—who—he was looking at. “...Is that my dad?”
“I think it is,” Jeno whispered, fingertips suddenly numb. Who was he kidding? They both knew who it was. 
“So,” One of the men next to your dad said, “You show us yours, we’ll show you ours?”
Henry Duke clapped his hands together with an impish grin. “I suppose. Reagan, get the case.”
One of the two men standing beside him started off toward the trunk of the car. “It caught me off guard when I heard that the force wanted to purchase these. Almost made me wonder if this was your attempt at a sting operation.”
“What made you change your mind?” Your dad asked. Jeno swallowed at how cold he sounded. This wasn’t your dad, and it didn’t seem like Officer Kim either. This was someone Jeno had never met before. 
“Honestly, Kim?” Duke raised an eyebrow, shrugging. “It was you. Your cooperativeness and willing to feed us information, as well as your… insurance agreement. And besides, you made a very interesting point when you said that the Avengers Initiative and Park’s alum Spiderman is ruining the way the law operates around here. That type of bitterness… hard to fake.”
Your dad huffed. “We’re fucking tired of it.”
The man leaning against the car your dad had stepped out of scoffed. “If this helps us catch the little asshole, then so be it.”
Jeno frowned. “I’m not little—”
“Jeno, shut up!” Doyoung snapped. 
“—Alright, then.” The man holding the briefcase—Reagan—clicked it open, as if it were a prize reveal on The Price is Right. Five guns, all modified to hold glowing Chitauri stones were placed carefully together side by side.
“You know the basics. No radiation. Keep it away from security scanners and x-rays. They will blow up. And second of all, these are at half the price, along with the promise from the chief of police that my business won’t be touched, and will only be distributed to officers in on the operation and have agreed to turn off their body cameras when they decide to use these weapons. Should this not be a sting operation, we��ll be back here to negotiate.”
Jeno leaned forward, watching anxiously.
“Yes, sir,” Your dad answered, nodding. “We have the money here.”
“Hand it over, then.”
That was when Jeno made his mistake. He leaned forward too much, and proceeded to fall right through the hole, bringing down some scraps of the roof with him. As he tumbled through the air, the zoom on his lenses caused him to grow dizzy as he had no idea what he was looking at. He caught himself before he could fall, clumsily commanding D.R.E.A.M to go back to turn off the current protocol. His vision returned to normal, and he swung up onto a rafter holding the warehouse up.
“So, we have company.” Duke didn’t sound as amused as he had before. His face turned into a sneer. “Get him.”
In less than a second, before Jeno could say anything, five guns were pointed directly at him. He managed to swing away before any bullets could hit him. 
“Jeno, get out of there now,” Doyoung ordered. 
“What about the guns?” Jeno asked, swinging to another rafter. “They know I’m here, I might as well get them before I go—”
“No! Jeno, listen to what I’m telling you. You’ve done more than enough, and you need to let it g—”
Your dad aimed, and a bullet fired right at Jeno’s chest. For a second, he forgot that the chest area of the suit was lined with bulletproof material. While it didn’t shoot into his chest, it ricocheted right off him, and since he was in motion, it somehow caused the bullet to bounce back in the direction in which it came. 
The wind was knocked out of Jeno, but it was nothing compared to watching the bullet land in the middle of your father’s chest. On the other line, he heard Doyoung yell, followed by the sound of something falling. And then, as he made his way back towards the hole he’d fallen out of, he couldn’t rip his eyes away from the body as it crumpled to the ground. 
The others around him scrambled to get back into their respective cars. Jeno was back on the roof now, trying not to hyperventilate. “I’m sorry,” He gasped, “Do—Doyoung, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to—”
“Jeno, you need to get out of there, now,” Doyoung said, voice raspy. “GO!” 
So he did, and Doyoung cut off the call once he was out of the vicinity. Jeno didn’t blame him. He swung across buildings, feeling numb as he looked for the apartment complex roof where he’d decided to hide his backpack.
When he finally did, he changed in a hurry, before slumping against the wall and forcing himself to take deep breaths. 
Doyoung’s dad—your dad—was dead. And it was all his fault. 
He cried on the way down the staircase. He cried on his way to the subway. The entire time, he ignored people’s stares. Suddenly everything was too loud, and if he met someone in the eyes he’d just about break down in the middle of the station. 
As he got onto the train, Jeno thought about all of the things your dad had done for you, and for Jeno. All the times he'd taken you both to Coney Island in the summer when you were younger. The year Pokemon Go came out he took the both of you driving around in his car so you and Jeno could catch as many Pokemon as you could. 
He’d formally adopted you when you were thirteen. You were his daughter in nearly every sense of the word, regardless of blood. And now he was dead, because of a stupid mistake that Jeno had made.
What would you say if you knew? He didn’t want to know. Checking the time on his phone, he saw he’d gotten a message from you just three minutes ago.
[8:36 PM]
y/n: lemme know when ur outside!! :)
“Fuck,” He murmured, wiping his eyes. He knew he needed to stop crying before he got to your house, and he had about ten minutes before he got to his stop, and then another five minute walk to the neighborhood. He focused on taking deep breaths and taking long swigs from his water bottle in the meantime, trying to tune out the sound of other people talking and the sound of the train on the rails.
The walk was the longest five minute walk he’d ever taken. The flashing lights of convenience stores did nothing to calm him down. As the stores in his peripheral vision began transitioning into suburban homes, he felt his heart speed up again. The constant movement as he walked meant he missed his phone vibrating in his backpack as you rang his number.
After what seemed like an eternity, two familiar houses came into his line of vision, and his shoulders slumped as he spotted you on your porch, looking small and teary, curled up into a little ball. In one hand, you were clutching your phone.
His stomach twisted as he put on a confused tone, even though he knew damn well that you knew. “...Y/N?”
You stood up, running to him and burying yourself into his chest, crumpling into his arms. You would have fell over if Jeno hadn’t held both of you up. 
“Jeno,” You sobbed, “You’re n-not go-onna believe it.”
He brought a hand up to caress your hair, holding back tears of his own as he asked a question he already knew the answer to.
“Y/N, what happened?”
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taglist: @decembermoonskz @itsapapisongo @lenaluvs​ @crescentjen​
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obxnaturalpogue · 2 years
Text
Natural Pogue
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Summary:based into adventure an drama between two sets of very different people.being part of the well known but full of mystery’s nobody knows of.
Warnings:adult themes,cussing,slight smut and dirty talk
Part 5
————
Rafe had kept his word to me,he had got cleaned and weeks went by and I saw the man he truly was.the man I knew that he had always been deep down.we ended up in a relationship together and I couldn’t be any more proud of him,becoming sober and seeing him enjoying life more and have even hung around the pogues with me dropping the whole kooks vs pogues thing.the morning started off great an all of a sudden a argument had broke out between us.
“Your a real pain in the ass” I glare up at him as he tells me that I am as well.”excuse me” I tell him as a faint smile formed on my lips seeing he was smiling.”you don’t do dishes until three in the morning,you eat French fries in bed at night,cold and you don’t gas up the car until it starts beeping.you won’t admit that we are meant to spend the rest of our life’s together,you won’t eat your food if John b breathes on it funny.”
“R-rafe” I say trying not to let my voice breaking becoming worried everything was slowly slipping back into the past.”you know what there is probably milk in that fridge that’s older then me”
“What did you say” I ask him as my voice breaks and tears were formed into my eyes.”about the milk?” He says confused “oh come on Rafe,you don’t actually mean it” I tell him hoping I was right.”I do and that’s exactly why I am in love with you more then you see because if this was anybody else I wouldn’t of noticed these things about them,and I don’t wanna spend another day without you,for the rest of my life”.
Trying not to break out crying at his words that were so beautiful coming from his mouth “like I said a real pain in the ass” I smile kissing him,wrapping my hands around his neck. “Will you marry me” he asked me and I nodded kissing him again,but this time deeper then ever before.
————
“Rafe what’s the girls name in monster inc?” I ask him trying to sound serious as I walk over to him sitting in his lap.”boo” he said serious going to pull me into a hug as a playfully slapped him and gasped “you scared mee” for him to laugh mumbling what the fuck.pulling me back into a hug,snuggling his face into my neck rubbing my back slowly while I shut my eyes finding it relaxing.”hey are you a Cameron” I could sense the smirk on his face as I mumbled nope though he asked me to marry him it wasn’t officially official just yet.”do you want some in you” he smirked gently placing kisses on my neck which made me start giggling in his lap.as I go to get up “I’m gonna head to bed,I love you” I smile at him while I go to head to the bedroom of the chateau,as he grabbed my hand “spin right back,say that again baby” he smiles kissing me before letting me go lay down. Still unaware of what was about to happen and how to tell news to Rafe.he had went out with topper and kelce.
———
“Here’s another problem” topper started the whole joke “kiara said rafes girlfriend only likes pretty guys” for kelce to jokingly say how sad.for it to take Rafe a moment “are you telling me I’m not a pretty guy” joking right back with the other two guys.only for topper to call you an tell you they were going to the bone yard and the pogues were meeting them there,everyone smiling and laughing.”they need to stop putting warnings on everything!I know nuts may contain nuts,if they didn’t I would be pretty pissed off,and I know should not be used on my eyelids as a cure for insomnia” while ranting causing everyone to laugh while Rafe said he would be right back.”speaking of which why can’t I get decent fucking super glue anymore” I groan leaning back into Sarah who was laughing.”there used to be a great brand where you could glue anything to anything and it would set in seconds” I exclaimed playfully raising my voice.”now because some idiot glued their fingers together,everyone has to change their formula.because humanity is apparently to stupid to be responsible with affective adhesives.what took 10 seconds to set,now takes 10 hours” I yell which caused kelce to spill his bear on John b laughing.
“No seriously we might as well dump everyone in a rubber room with crayons for the rest of their lives,so they don’t hurt themselves” finally finishing my rant when I realize Rafe hasn’t came back yet.”imma be right back” I tell them as they all boo,me their entertainer was leaving the building.freezing in your spot seeing Rafe,the man who had turnt into a soft teddy bear point a knife at a girl who was in a rather skimpy outfit listening to the girl talk “no matter what you do I’m still gonna love you,your over reacting to his great wanna be cameron is”. Flinching seeing him shove her against the wall by her throat.yelling at her to stop lying to him about me.”do I make you nervous Rafe” she was smirking at him sliding down the wall.
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“That’s pathdic” he spat at her with hate falling from his mouth.should I be listening to this,I trust rafe I shouldn’t have to stand here and listen to this bullshit come from a sluts mouth,i knew if rafe loved me he wouldn’t cheat on me.I went back to the pogues and sat between a drunk John b and Sarah while kiara was drunkily braiding my hair.”marry me,have my baby’s” the girl smirked yelling at Rafe running her hand down his chest “we still have time we can be together,I can give you a family you always wanted,the better family not the poor excuse of a family she wants to start with you,did you know the little whore is pregnant” she spat in rafes face but that comment made him freeze had she really been pregnant as he shoved her back and hurried out to see where I had been.to come out seeing me in kiaras arms basically asleep struggling to keep up with the others who were overly excited.him rushing over to me is what woke me up in a hurry.”are you fucking pregnant” he yelled which caused everyone to stop and star at the two of us.
I look up at him as my eyes water..”I regret alot of shit in my life but taking a chance on you thinking you could change and become a better man I was fucking wrong wasn’t I” I broke sobbing at him as he glared at me telling me to shut up.shoving me back slightly as John b caught me from falling. Kiara gasping “you fucked a murder” you shrugged “we used a condom but it kinda broke” feeling small and judged you slowly back down feeling jjs arms wrap around you,he knew how this was gonna end.”exactly and you felt so good” Rafe said leaning forward causing jj to smirk just to irritate Rafe.”oh trust me I know”. Gently pulling away “I’m leaving” I tell them “don’t ever fucking talk or look at me again Rafe you,your fucking dead to me and you won’t ever see you kid I don’t want him to ever know his father is a monster”.
Laying back down on John bs couch as all the pogues came in slowly sitting down beside you.”I don’t wanna be a distraction I’m going to find a place and I’ll leave you guys alone” my voice breaks cuddling into a blanket.”why would you be a distraction” jj pulled me into him rubbing my back,John b said my name.I wasn’t sure if I should really answer that kinda question.”what are you talking about” jj kissed my forehead pulling me into his lap closer to him then before.”because I wasn’t good enough for him I believed he could be better and I was wrong and I can’t stay around here an raise a kid an be a bother to my best friends,you all have the rest of your lives and I-I’m gonna raise a kid without his father” my voice broke as jj kept pulling me closer putting his hand on my stomach. “No your not,I’m pregnant I’m gonna be a dad” his comment about him being pregnant made you laugh.
It all turns out boyfriends,fiancés whatever will always come and go but the pogues they were always there to stay they were the real family no matter what,but the pogues this is for life.I should of seen it from the beginning if I was dying on my knees jj would always be the one to rescue me,an if he was drowned at sea I’d give him my lungs so he could breathe if I could go back an change it all I would do it all because I love him and I always have I should have seen it was always gonna be jj no matter what.
———
Years went by and my daughter was born jj had the idea of naming her pougsly,it was different but it was beautiful.jj was the best father anyone could ever ask for the sweetest and most patience person I ever met and I realize I would of knew this all sooner but if I had then I wouldn’t have our daughter I say to myself as I glance over seeing jj asleep with her on his chest
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asset35-maya · 3 years
Text
Prompt no. 18 from this list
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”
“Sorry, just give me a minute, babe. I need to recalibrate the interface I’m using…”
Gavin’s voice trailed off. The only sound in the room was from the clacking of his keyboard, his fingers flying across the keys.
Nines tried his best to take his mind off his situation. Immobile in bed… with the very real possibility that it could be permanent.
It was a just a software update… just another afternoon nap… but now he had no idea whether he’d ever move again.
Noticing his stress levels spiking, he focused on Gavin. The crease of his brows… the old scar across his nose… the determined set of his jaw as he scrubbed through lines and lines of code to find the root of the problem.
Gavin.
Lover. Friend. Saviour.
The man he depended on for everything, including his continued existence.
Nines silently thanked whichever force of nature had brought him into the safety and sanctity of Gavin’s embrace. RA9 or God or the laws of physics that dictated where atoms would end up from the beginning of time.
Not all androids were as lucky as he was.
After the Revolution, the digital giant known as Cyberlife had been dissolved under political pressure from New Jericho and its vehement supporters. Android production ceased, Cyberlife’s assets were stripped and its R&D departments were spun off into smaller, more benign companies.
People were elated in the beginning… and then they realised there was no one around to maintain and service the androids that now comprised 30% of American citizenry. Private technicians had booming business, but they were eventually overwhelmed.
The worst of it was the software.
The patches, the bug fixes, the security.
No single company was able to do it by themselves and individuals realised they were pretty much on their own. Human husbands and wives and girlfriends and brothers and pretty much everyone scrambled to learn how to take care of beloved androids on their own.
Gavin was one of the most capable ones. He knew how to do most of the mechanical work and quickly taught himself the software and systems elements. When Nines asked him how he was so proficient… whether he learnt any of it in college… he wouldn’t respond directly. The closest Nines had gotten to an answer was a grumbled “s what happens when you share a room for fifteen years with the nerdy prick that started all this trouble in the first place”
It was initially tough on the both of them… and expensive… as they figured out how to do things by trial… but Gavin was confident and adamant that he wouldn’t let Nines down. He quickly reached a steady state, even managing to get a maintenance routine in place.
But he couldn’t be perfect.
And there were things he couldn’t control.
Androids were the most complicated cyberphysical systems on the planet. Anything and everything could go wrong at any time…
And it had… during a major OS update.
“Babe, can you hear me?”
Nines’ LED cycled yellow once and went back to red.
Gavin held one of the limp hands in his own.
“Can you feel this?”
The LED spun again.
“Great. And I’m pretty sure you can see me, I know that look in your eyes, babydoll. Hmm… okay, that means all the sensors and IOT device connections are fineee…”
The musing continued as Gavin set aside the laptop and scooted closer to Nines. A gentle hand came up to tilt the android’s face from side to side.
“But you can’t talk…”
“AAAAAAAAAA”
“Wow. Never make that noise in the bedroom again. Hmm… Okay, this means your vocal chords are fine but you can’t move your mouth. Huh.. well… you can’t seem to move anything… not that different from your usual participation levels in bed then. Not to worry.”
The only thing Nines could do was glare and Gavin seemed relieved that even that was possible. He patted the android’s cheek.
“I’ll check your motor actuation and control. Simple modules. I should be able to see anything strange right away.”
Gavin resumed scrolling through the chunks of code and running searches for common errors. But minutes passed… and turned into an hour… and the hour, doubled, tripled.
But Gavin was undeterred. He had to be. Giving up was not an option. Plus, years of being a dedicated police officer had wiped out any fears of hard work and failure… he would scroll all night if it came to that.
A notification popped up on the screen.
RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: Sweetheart, you’ve been trying for hours. Take a break.
Gavin turned to his side. Nines could detect the worry and agitation behind the facade of lighthearted calm.
“I know right. It’s not fair. You’ve been chilling this whole time I’ve been working. Tsk tsk.”
RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: I’m serious, Gavin. Stop. Take a break for today. Call someone. You can try again tomorrow morning.
“Nines, you’re not a work assignment. I can’t take a break from you. You can get up and close this laptop for me.”
A few more hours passed. Frowning, Gavin climbed under the covers with Nines and began troubleshooting and testing all other modules too. It was a massive undertaking, but he’d be damned if he didn’t do it.
RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: Know when to give up on a lost cause.
It was nearly two in the morning when that message popped up. Gavin’s eyes were red from all the screen time, but his fighting spirit had not flagged. If anything, he felt close to the finish line. Having gone through nearly the entirety of his lover’s system architecture, there were only a few stones left unturned. He’d identify the problem, win half the battle and then the solution would flow from there. It always did. They’d be fine.
He turned to tell Nines precisely that and balked at the tears staining the android’s perfect face.
“Hey…”
Gavin leaned over his partner and wiped the tears away.
“Hey… shhh… don’t… don’t worry, I’ll take care of you…”
RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I’m putting you through all this. Things can’t go on like this. I’m such a liability. Emotionally, physically, financially! You can’t keep doing this for me, Gavin.
Gavin placed the laptop on the bedside table and slipped deeper under the covers, wrapping himself around Nines’ still form.
“It’s a good thing you can’t speak right now, cause you’re talking some major bullshit, baby. You are going to be FINE. I will take care of you, like always, like I promised.
You are not a liability. You are my man. I signed up for this. If you were human and sick and I dunno, needed a kidney or something, I’d simply give it to you. You and I are bound like that. For life.
So quit bitching, let me do my thing, and when you’re back… you know how to thank me.”
He smiled genuinely as he said that, stroking the android’s skin and trying to calm him down. When the speed of the LED cycles came down and the colour stabilised at a warm amber, Gavin kissed the frozen lips and gave Nines one last cuddle before returning to his computer.
Sunrise began to streak across the dark sky by the time the critical error was identified. Gavin sighed deeply as he pulled up the faulty synchronisation that had jammed the hundreds of motors and drives throughout Nines’ body.
There was actually nothing much to be said for the root cause of the failed execution loop. Just improper methods written for some of the new hardware they had installed the previous week.
That’s what they got for using uncertified biocomponents and unlicensed third party software bought off the seedier parts of the internet. Some incompatibility somewhere would inevitably trip them up. Gavin was usually able to see such trouble before it found them… but even he couldn’t be perfect.
He stretched and cracked his spine and wiggled his fingers before plunging into rewriting the problematic section. He would sleep like a log after this… but first, he had to sprint to the finish line.
And he did.
At 7AM, Gavin finally copied the clean code into the compiler and hit execute. After a brief reinitialisation, Nines blinked awake. He raised his hands tentatively. As soon as he realised full functionality had been restored, he sat up and threw himself at Gavin, smothering the exhausted human in a giant hug.
Gavin hugged back, fighting to keep his emotions at bay.
“All… all good?”
“You saved my life. Again.”
“I’ll do it a thousand times more if I need to.”
“I thought I was done for.”
“Don’t be dramatic. It was just some bad code.”
“I could have been stuck like that forever. Never moving, never talking. Just lying there till my charge drains out. That could have been the end for us, and frankly, I was prepared for that eventuality. You should be too.”
“Never.”
“I don’t doubt your abilities, sweetheart, but we are painfully limited by our resources. There’s things in this world that only Cyberlife can do and they’re never coming back. We have to make our peace with that. Pulling all-nighters just to keep me alive… it’s not sustainable.”
“Hey it’s not like this happens all the time, Nines. I get that this was really scary, but it’s not always like this… so please don’t tell me whether things are sustainable. I will always fight for you. End of discussion.”
Nines didn’t respond and just rested his head on Gavin’s shoulder. His steel blue eyes were fixed on the pair of birds fluttering outside their bedroom window. They sat intertwined like that on the bed for a while. Now that he could, Nines didn’t seem to want to stop holding his partner. The birds landed on the window sill, chirping away and enjoying the morning breeze.
“They’re really quite sweet, aren’t they? The two of them are always here in the morning. I should build them a little bath in our garden.”
“They’re mates.”
“Huh. Just like us.”
“You know… it’s just a myth, what they say… that birds die when their mates do.”
“What?”
“Most species will go through a grieving period, but after that they will begin courtship again.”
“What the phck are you on about? No one’s dying and no one’s beginning courtship again. Nines, I’d move heaven and earth before anything like that happens.
Besides, if I really, really couldn’t get your body to work, worst case scenario, I’d just transfer you to a mobile device. Carry you around like a voice in my head… like my conscience… I promise you that nothing can keep us apart.”
It wasn’t all that easy to convince Nines, and Gavin wasn’t about to try. It had been an ordeal for the both of them. It wasn’t the first time, and it might not be the last. But for the time being, they had emerged, and they had each other, and that was all that mattered.
Yawning, Gavin lay back among the mussed sheets and pulled Nines with him. Birdsong and the muted whir of thirium pump compressions lulled him into a dreamless sleep.
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bitchin-beskar · 3 years
Text
honey and clementines - chapter one
Rating: T (eventually changing to M)
Warnings: brief mentions of injuries/blood, but nothing too graphic. 
Pairing: Marcus Moreno x Reader (no use of y/n)
Word Count: 2.1k
A/N: hey all!! this is my first ever Marcus Moreno fic!! this is one-hundred percent the fault of @mxndoscyarika, she is my thot twin and an enabler and I love her so much. y’all need to check out her series, Honeydew, which is a beautifully written Marcus Moreno x OC fic. it’s seriously one of my favorite M.M. stories ever!!! I really hope y’all like this story!!!
Please consider reblogging and leaving a comment! I love hearing what y’all think!!!
“Have a good day at school Missy!”
You waved to the young girl as she dashed into the building, her backpack disappearing inside the doors just as the warning bell rang. Slumping back in your seat, you sighed, scrubbing a hand over your face. This morning had not gone according to plan, and you’d barely managed to get her to school on time. It wouldn’t be the first time Missy was late, but you always felt guilty whenever she was. Usually her teachers were pretty understanding, what with her dad being the Marcus Moreno, afterall, but you tried to avoid tardiness whenever possible. 
Pulling out of the drop-off lane, you began the short drive back to the Moreno household, mentally going over the list of things you had to accomplish today. Marcus had some late meetings tonight, so you and Missy were going to be on your own for dinner. 
You were mentally going through the list of ingredients you’d need for spaghetti when you pulled into the driveway. Grabbing your purse, you shut the car off, climbing out and locking the doors behind you, double-checking with a quick yank on the handle. 
So lost in your thoughts, you nearly tripped over a package sitting on the front porch, placed dead center of the welcome mat. Sighing, you bent down, picking it up and tucking it under one arm as you unlocked the front door, and stepping inside. You needed to be more aware of your surroundings, isn’t that what Marcus always told you? 
Shutting the door behind you, you dumped your purse and keys on the table in the foyer, walking on autopilot into the kitchen. You set the package down on the counter and grabbed the notepad you always kept sitting beside the bowl of fruit, beginning to write down the things you needed to pick up when you went to the store. 
You were startled out of your scribbling by the feeling of your phone vibrating in your pocket. Pulling it out and glancing at the caller ID, you smiled. “Hey Marcus, don’t worry, I got Missy to the school in time–”
“I need you to listen to me carefully.” 
Back straightening, you jerked up in surprise at the low growl of Marcus’ voice. He sounded scared, which worried you, a lot. When the leader of the Heroics sounded scared, you knew it was serious.
“Was there anything suspicious laying around when you came home? Is there anything out of place?”
You quickly scanned the kitchen and living room, looking for anything strange or out of the ordinary. You couldn’t see anything, everything looked pretty much how you left it. In fact, the only thing that looked any different was the package you’d brought in–
Marcus could hear you suck in a sharp breath over the phone, and his frantic voice crackled through the speakers. “What? What is it? What do you see?”
“I–I brought in a package–” You stuttered, slowly backing away from the counter where the small brown box was sitting innocuously. “I–It was sitting o–on the front porch–”
“Get out of there! Get out! Now!”
Turning, you dashed for the front door when there was a sudden explosion of sound and heat, and your world went dark.
***
Marcus stared horror-struck at his phone, the sound of an explosion still ringing in his ears, even though the screen showed that the call had dropped. 
He was standing at his desk in HQ, phone held limply in his hand as the giant screen at the front of the room flashed with the warning they’d received from Explosivo only minutes earlier. 
 B I G  S U R P R I S E S  C O M E  I N  S M A L L  P A C K A G E S,  M O R E N O. 
His heart had stopped when he’d first seen the message, and his first thought had been to call you. When you’d answered, he’d breathed a sigh of relief, but the panic came back full force when he heard the explosion just before the phone went dead.
“Moreno?”
Granada’s voice cut through the haze, and he jerked his head up frantically to look at her. 
“Send a team to my house and Missy’s school. Now.”
He didn’t wait to see if she listened to him, turning on his heel and sprinting out of the room. He called Missy’s school to warn them of the potential threat as well as the fact that a team was on their way to secure the building as he raced towards his car. 
He probably broke every single traffic law in existence in his effort to get to his house as quickly as possible, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. His heart sank when he saw the multiple fire trucks and ambulances parked outside, as a team of firefighters worked over the smoldering ruins of his home. 
Screeching to a stop, he ripped his seatbelt off and threw his car door open as he practically fell out of the vehicle in his haste. 
He frantically scanned the people milling about outside the caution tape, trying to spot you. He finally spots you, sitting in the back of an ambulance, a shock blanket wrapped around your shoulders, a paramedic tending to a bloody cut on your head.
His feet are moving before his brain can even process what he’s seeing, and in what seems like seconds he’s standing just behind the paramedic, eyes roving over your figure as he tries to see if you’re hurt anywhere else.
***
You winced as the paramedic dabbed at the cut on your head, your fingers tightening in the scratchy grey fabric of the shock blanket one of the many first responders had draped over your shoulders. You were still shaky and a little dazed from the explosion, but miraculously, you weren’t too badly hurt. 
 Your eyes drifted shut for a moment, and when you opened them again, you saw Marcus standing in front of you, just behind the paramedic. Eyes flying wide open, you went to stand, the paramedic placed a hand on your shoulder to keep you still. 
“Marcus–!” you gasped, and he jerked forward, coming to stand next to you, his hand hovering just above your shoulder, hesitant to touch you. 
“Are you okay?” He demanded, eyes frantically flicking between you and the paramedic who’d just finished bandaging your head. “Is she okay?”
The paramedic nodded, before turning back to you. “You’re gonna be just fine, ma’am. The cut on your head isn’t as bad as it looks, head wounds tend to bleed a lot, but you won’t need stitches. You’ve got some bruises that’ll be tender for a few days, but nothing worse than that. You’re incredibly lucky ma’am.” 
“Thank you,” you whispered, and he nodded again, closing up his medical bag, and stepping away, leaving you and Marcus standing alone at the back of the ambulance. 
You barely had time to open your mouth before Marcus was pulling you up and into a frantic hug. His grip was tight and unyielding, and he pressed his face into your neck as you felt him take in a deep, shuddering breath. Your own arms came up to grip the back of his leather jacket in your shaking grip. 
He holds you for a long time, longer than is probably appropriate. You can tell he’s reluctant to pull away, and you’re reluctant to let him go. But eventually, he does pull back, only to cup your cheeks as he turns your face to both sides, eyes scanning all the little superficial cuts and scrapes along with the larger, bandaged cut on your forehead. 
“You’re sure you’re okay?” He murmurs, thumbs brushing over your cheekbones. “I’m so sorry, I called you as soon as I got the warning–”
“I’m okay,” you reassured him, letting him check you over to confirm for himself. “How did you know? What– Am I allowed to know what happened?” You knew that unfortunately, being a civilian, you weren’t always allowed to know what threats the Heroics faced, even with your connection to Marcus. 
Marcus sighs, and releases you to drag a hand over his face, and you faintly notice that he looks exhausted. “It’s a new supervillain,” he starts, speaking quietly so as not to allow the emergency personnel milling about to hear him. “Calls himself Explosivo, has a fascination with bombs and explosions. He sent HQ a message that mentioned me directly, right before I called you. I don’t know why he’s targeting me specifically, I’m so sorry–”
You placed your hand on his chest, stopping his apology in its tracks. “Don’t you dare apologize, Marcus Moreno. I knew what I was signing up for when you hired me as Missy’s nanny. This is not your fault.”
You can tell by the look on Marcus’ face that he doesn’t believe you, but before you can argue, a team from Heroics HQ arrives, and immediately descends on the ruined house. You watch, dumbstruck, as heroes use their powers to begin repairs immediately, undoing the damage left behind by the package bomb. 
Suddenly, your eyes widen, and you frantically grasp at Marcus’ arm. “Wait, what about Missy? Is she safe?” 
Marcus’ eyes widen, and he quickly yanks his phone out of his pocket, frantically checking for any messages. He lets out a sigh as he sees a message from Granada confirming that Missy is safe and waiting for him at HQ. 
“Missy’s safe at HQ,” he confirms, and you let out your own relieved sigh. “I’m gonna take you to HQ too, until the house is repaired and the security is updated.”
You opened your mouth to protest, but the look on Marcus’ face killed your arguments. You let him maneuver you towards his car, knowing that Marcus isn’t going to rest until both you and Missy are safe. You know his wife was killed in a supervillain attack, and you’re not surprised he’s being so protective right now. You’ve been Missy’s nanny for close to five years now, and you’ve grown extremely close to the leader of the Heroics. 
The drive to HQ doesn’t take long, something for which you’re grateful. Now that you’re no longer in immediate danger, the adrenaline is leaving your system, leaving you feeling drained. Your whole body aches from being thrown into a wall, and you feel slightly dizzy from the blood loss. 
Marcus is driving, but his right hand is resting lightly on your knee, thumb rubbing small circles as though to reassure himself that you are indeed sitting beside him in his car, and not in a bloodied heap of twisted limbs and broken bones under the rubble of his house. 
He’s not usually this tactile, preferring to try and keep a more professional relationship, what with you being his daughter’s nanny and all. But right now, touch is a comfort he’s willing to indulge in, and you’re certainly not going to complain, no matter how your heart is going to hate you for it later. 
When you walk into HQ, you’re nearly bowled over by a tiny, curly-haired freight-train named Missy. She wraps her arms tightly around you, burying her face in your stomach as she tries to get as close to you as physically possible. Immediately, your own arms come up to wrap around her shaking form, smoothing over her hair, already whispering reassurances. 
Marcus just stands back and lets the two of you have this moment. You’ve become almost like a mother to Missy in the five years you’ve been her nanny, and he couldn’t be more grateful. You love her like she was your own flesh and blood, and Missy adores you. 
He tries not to think about all the times Missy has begged him to ask you out so that the three of you could become a real family. 
He’s much too old for you, in his forties with a child of his own. You’re barely thirty, not even considering you were only 25 when he first hired you. You’ve got so many options, so much still ahead of you, he’s not going to try and ask you out and ruin things between you. 
He’s content with how things are, secure in the fact that you’re not going anywhere soon, and that he’ll have you in his life for as long as he can convince you to stay. He’ll do everything in his power to keep you safe. He already lost the first woman he loved, he’s not about to lose you too.  
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official-weasley · 3 years
Text
Godparents - (The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley AU)
Warnings: absolutely nothing
Word count: 3,076
Characters: Charlie Weasley and my OC Nova from TICW which you can find here
Charlie
“Okay, Dee-Dee, remember, we have to triple the ingredients today because a lot of people are coming.” My brother warned my firstborn.
“I know, uncle Georgie.” Aoede glared at him.
“Okay, can I trust you with the measurements while I talk to your dad?”
“Of course. I know how to make cookies.” Aoede turned to look for the flour the second George walked to me.
“Do you remember when I was uncle Geogie?” George sighs. “She is growing up so fast!”
“And so is her attitude.” I chuckled. “What, that?” George shrugged his shoulders, looking at his niece. “She just takes making cookies very seriously.”
“I know and I know you miss her calling you Geogie, but she is five and a half now and a lot of names suddenly changed when she learned how to say R.” I laughed, reminiscing when Tiger's name went from Tigel to Tigerrrr.
“Yeah, I mean Luna Dora said her first word a few days ago so perhaps I have a chance to be Geogie again.” George's eyes shone.
“Don't remind me.” I groaned. “And since she is giving everyone nicknames already you will probably get one soon enough.”
“Are you still grumpy about her first words?” George laughed out loud.
“No!”
“Yes, you are, Charlie! I can't believe it.” George couldn't stop laughing.
Luna Dora said her first word last week and as much as I was proud of it that much I couldn't help that her first word would be something else.
I was luckier with her than with Aoede and I didn't miss any firsts with her. I was changing her diaper when she smiled for the first time and I was there when Nova put her down on the sofa and she sat by herself. Nova was the one who missed the first crawl this time and we both got to see Luna Dora rollover. She is already walking if someone is holding both of her hands and I am planning to be there for the moment of her walking for the first time too. That was the only first I got to experience with Aoede and I promised myself that I am not missing anything else.
I still remember when Aoede said her first word. We were having breakfast and Nova was feeding her some apple sauce and for some reason every time we started talking, Aoede started to laugh and we couldn't help but join her and because Nova forgot for a split second to feed her, Aoede kindly reminded her that she is still hungry and said ma-ma.
As much as I was overwhelmed by her saying her first word, I was a bit down that she didn't call me first. Of course, I was expecting it – Nova being at home with her while I was working – it was only reasonable and the first word usually ends up being mama so I didn't stay down for long.
Nova said that since we are planning to have 2 more kids I have 2 more chances to be called first so that cheered me up a bit.
Aoede was about a year and 3 months old when she started saying her first words so it came as a surprise to the both of us when Luna Dora started showing signs of speaking with mumbling a few weeks ago – meaning before her first birthday which is today – so since I was around more I got my hopes up.
I had to fight the urge to tell Luna Dora to say the word dad or dada since Nova and I said even before we had Aoede that we will never press or push them to do anything, so we waited patiently for what she will say to us.
Luna Dora first surprised us when she was born and she came out with blue hair. The next thing was how fast her magic started to show by the baby powder and Aoede's toys flying around when we were changing her. Somehow, though, we haven't learned that she is full of surprises so when we were watching the telly and she started to make bubbles nobody expected her to say her first word let alone for it to be her sister's name.
First, she mumbled something, so we turned the volume down to encourage her to speak by talking to her. Nova was bouncing her on her legs, making Luna Dora laugh while she was watching her sister play with glitter and her unicorn plushie. I invited Aoede to join our little laughing party and as I called her name, Luna Dora started laughing uncontrollably and because Nova found it funny, she kept repeating the name of our firstborn.
Aoede was almost as confused as I was about what was going on but since Luna Dora's giggles filled the whole lower floor of the house, we started laughing as well. Aoede started repeating her name and in the midst of us having the best time as a family, Luna Dora spoke for the first time, calling her sister Dee-Dee.
The second the name came out of her mouth we all stopped and looked at the blue-haired girl who kept repeating the name and extended her arms to Aoede to hold her.
The second Nova noticed she had her mouth open and closed it, she glanced at me to see my reaction. I was as shocked as much as she was since we didn't think Luna Dora would actually say anything.
Without asking me how I feel about her first words, Nova said that perhaps she meant to say dada or that that is her version of it but Aoede was quick to point out that Luna Dora was saying the word while trying to get Aoede to hold her.
Aoede needed a minute to compose herself and realize what just happened, before clearing her throat and picking her little sister up, and taking her to her toys. The more Aoede talked to her, the more Luna Dora started to repeat her name and the whole situation was so cute that I completely forgot about my wish to be Luna Dora's first word.
That night, when the giggles stopped and we put our daughters to sleep, we knew that Aoede officially got herself a nickname. Nova was so excited about it that she sent letters to the entire family the next morning, and now, even though not even a week later, nobody is using Aoede's full name and she is doing nothing but being very proud about it.
“I am not grumpy about it.” I scoffed.
“Whatever, it's sweet that Luna Dora said Aoede's name first, admit it,” George said with a smug face.
“It's adorable but the wish is still there. You'll see when you'll be a dad.” I tried defending myself.
“I don't know if that is happening for me, Charlie.” George sighed.
“Oh, don't be so pessimistic. You still have time.” I tapped his back. “What happened between you and Angelina, didn't you say that your date went well?”
“It did. But she went to the Yule Ball with Fred and they went on a few dates so it's a bit weird that I'm dating her now.” George avoided looking me in the eyes.
“Yeah, but they weren't that serious, were they?”
“Not really but it's still strange.” George looked at me with pleading eyes as if waiting for my advice.
“Listen, you came to the wrong older brother for relationship advice.” I felt the heat on my cheeks.
“But you're married and have 2 kids. That's pretty successful if you ask me.” George wiggled his eyebrows.
“Yeah, well, I married my best friend. I was lucky. Besides the drama with McNully, I don't even know what heartbreak feels like.”
“You're right. You are kind of useless in that department.” George chuckled.
“In what department?” We both turned around when we heard Bill behind us.
“Uncle George!” Aoede called from the kitchen.
“Well, duty calls. Hi, Bill.” George waved at his eldest brother and walked to the kitchen.
“What department?” Bill asked again as he sat down next to me at the kitchen table.
“I think you need to talk to George about girls.” I sniggered.
“At this age?” Bill raised his eyebrows in disbelief.
“He thinks he shouldn't date Angelina because of Fred.”
“Oh, that. What do you think about it?” Bill was curious.
“He clearly likes her a lot so why not. Fred and Angie weren't that serious anyway.” I shrugged.
“True.” Bill narrowed his eyes thinking. “I'll talk to him later.”
“Thanks and welcome to the birthday party by the way.” I chuckled, pointing to the living room where Nova was sitting on the floor with Luna Dora in her lap, conversing with Fleur who was holding Victoire.
“Thank you! Nova said to put Luna Dora's gift into the guest room.” Bill grinned.
“You didn't have to get her anything. She's one.”
“Hey, we bring toys to Aoede all the time, we are not planning to only pamper her.” Bill winked.
“You didn't buy her glitter did you?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “The bottle you got Aoede for her 5th birthday is still sprinkled everywhere around the house.”
“Are you expecting me to apologize? “ Bill tried hard not to laugh.
“I woke up the other day with Nova laughing at my face and she didn't want to tell me what was going on so it wasn't until I looked at myself in the mirror when I was washing my teeth that I saw that I had a few glitter pieces in the middle of my forehead. I have no idea how it got there – it's just everywhere!” I slammed my hand against my forehead.
“Yeah, glitter does do that.” Bill let out a silent laugh knowing full well I would glare at him if he dared to laugh more.
“Just wait until Victoire turns 5 and I'll get my revenge!”
“Don't you even dare!”
“Oh, you'll see,” I smirked. “And if you didn't get Luna Dora glitter I thank you for whatever you got for her.” I put my arm around his shoulder.
“You're welcome.” Bill smiled and turned to where George and Aoede were making cookies.
“Are they making a cookie cake?” Bill giggled.
“Nah, Olivia made the cake, and mum brought all sorts of things so they are just sticking to good old cookies.”
“Are any of the lot coming?” Bill asked.
“Penny and Tulip?”
“Yeah?”
“We thought about inviting them at first, but it's Luna's first birthday and she won't even remember it and they were here for Aoede's birthday party.”
“Yeah, true.” Bill scratched his nose. “Listen, speaking of kids. Fleur and I want to talk to you and Nova about something.”
“Did you grow tired of Victoire already and want to give her to us?” I joked.
“No! She is the best thing that ever happened to us,” Bill said with scarlet cheeks.
“I was teasing you, Bill. I know you are just as manly about being a dad as I was when Aoede was born.”
“Right.” He chuckled nervously.
“So you were saying?” I encouraged him to speak further.
“We want to talk...”
“Daddy! Come and look at my cookies!” Aoede shouted from the kitchen, interrupting Bill.
“Char, could you get Luna Dora ready for her birthday party and I'll go with Aoede to change her clothes?” Nova asked from the living room.
“Dad duty calls.” I grinned at my brother. “Can we talk about this after the party?”
“Sure. Yeah, even better.” Bill nodded and we both got up.
I hurried to the kitchen for Aoede to show me her cookies before George put them in the oven and then brought her to Nova who gave me Luna Dora so we could get our girls ready for the celebration.
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Luna, happy birthday to you.”
Mum, dad, Olivia, and George were sitting on the sofa, Bill and Fleur were on the floor with Victoire, I was holding Aoede who was eating a cookie and Nova held Luna Dora while we were singing to her.
We all knew that she had no idea what was going on but she was giggling constantly and that makes the birthday party good enough of a success for us.
Aoede and I helped blew the candles and Nova helped her mum cut the cake. Despite being very excited to blow the candles for the second time this year, Aoede declined the cake and asked George to accompany her to the kitchen to get a cookie.
Both Luna Dora and Victoire fell asleep soon after. Aoede wanted to show George her glitter collection because for some reason he was the only one of her uncles who didn't see it yet and my mum and dad decided to take a walk.
“Now that we're alone, do you think we could have that talk?” Bill whispered to me, as we were both observing Aoede making glitter fly everywhere. “Sure.” I nodded and turned to him and Fleur.
Nova sat down next to me just in time to join the conversation and Bill cleared his throat as I wrapped my arms around my wife.
“Why are you zo nervous, William?” Fleur chuckled when Bill scratched his nose for the third time.
“I am not!” Bill lifted his chin in defense.
“Should I ask zem?” Fleur raised her eyebrows.
“What is this about?” Nova whispered to me.
“I have no idea. I just know they want to ask us something.”
“Nova, Charlie, we want you to be Victoire's godparents,” Fleur said casually.
“That's what you were nervous for?” I raised my eyebrows at Bill.
“Well, I didn't know how you'd react given that you asked us first and we're Aoede godparents,” Bill mumbled.
“What do you mean how we would react? We would love to!” Nova exclaimed.
“So you don't mind zat we are godparents to each other's children? I mean, you're godparents to Teddy, and Penny and Andre's son Max. We don't want to ask too much of you.” Fleur pressed her lips together.
“I don't mind at all. Soon, I'll have my own little army.” Nova giggled.
“At this point, it does seem as if we're trying to have our own little kindergarten.” I joked.
“Army, Char. Army. We strike at dawn.” Nova laughed mischievously.
“So, is that a yes?”Bill asked as he stopped laughing at how silly Nova was. “Of course, it is!” Nova and I said together.
“We would be honored and truth be told, we kind of expected it.” I sniggered. “You did?” Fleur asked.
“Yeah, we see each other often and Victoire adores us,” I explained.
“We knew it was going to be you before she was even born,” Bill admitted.
“As I said. We will take the role gladly.” I smiled at both of them and pulled them both into a hug.
“That reminds me. Did you pick Luna Dora's godparents?” Bill asked. “We did, we just didn't ask yet,” Nova answered.
“Right. We forgot about that!” I gasped.
“Hey, George!” I called his name.
“Busy right now, Charlie.” George who was sitting as still as possible because Aoede was drawing on his arm slightly turned his head to us.
“It's okay. No need to move. We were just wondering if you'd be Luna Dora's godfather?” Nova asked gently.
“What?” I had to hand it to George for not moving even the slightest at the question.
We have been debating who to choose for Luna's guardians for months. We ended up deciding between Ron and George because it seemed that Luna Dora liked them the most when we went to visit or when they were here.
In the end, Nova came to the final decision saying that George adores Aoede so much and she loves spending time with him and there is no doubt in her mind that Luna wouldn't feel the same way and I had to agree with her that even though Ron would have loved the title, with everything that George went through and how much he loves to come and visit us, it would mean more to him.
See him shake from excitement but not move at the same time not to disturb our firstborn at her work, only proved to us more that we made the right decision and we're planning to have another child anyway, perhaps Ron will get his turn.
“I-I don't know what to say.” George tried looking at us despite facing in the other direction.
“You don't have to if you don't want to,” Nova said gently.
“Oh, no! I would love to. In my head, I am already calling myself godfather.” George sniggered. “It's just...I didn't expect this at all. Why choose me?”
“I thought that was obvious. The girls love you and you love spending time with them both.” I explained our decision.
“I do. They are the best!” He moved slightly as he tried to smile at us, receiving a glare from Aoede.
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Did I ruin anything?” George apologized.
“No, I know how to fix it. Dad moves all the time.” Aoede sighed and frowned in concentration as she got back to work.
“Thank you for this.” George pulled me in the tightest embrace I have ever gotten from him as he was saying goodbye the next day.
“George, we told you that you're a perfect fit. You're great with kids.” I hugged him back.
“No, Charlie, I am serious. You have no idea how much this means to me.” He swallowed thickly as he finished speaking and as I pulled away I saw his eyes were filled with tears.
“I know, George. That's one of the reasons we chose you.” I whispered to him and pulled him in for another hug and smiled.
After a year and a half after the battle, George was doing much better and I knew he was going to be excited about being a godparent but seeing it mean so much to him simply warmed my heart, and any time that I could make one of my brothers excited and smile as George did right now, I felt as if I accomplished something great and there was nothing better besides having my own family than to make the ones back at home happy too.
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ringmyheart · 3 years
Note
Hey was wondering if I could get something for lookism characters with an older s/o, like they're 3-4 older. Please do goo, Jake kim and Scott kwon.
Good luck with the blog🤩🤩🤩
Goo Kim
When you get into the relationship, of course he knows ur age and that you’re a few years older than him, and at first he doesn’t mention it but once ur like just a little bit closer he’s probably gonna poke fun at the fact
Because there’s nothing wrong w u being older it’s just that in all the stereotypical or general movies or shows or books it’s like the older person in the relationship is usually the like stronger or more providing person ends up being the oldest in the relationship and ur not useless in the relationship at all but he’s out there like killing ppl and raking in thousands a day at like 19 😭
If ur walking around in public and someone stares at u for a little longer or one of the ten geniuses is looking at u just casually he’ll get up in their face and b like “whaaat?! Do you know who you’re staring at? That’s your elder over there!! Show some respect!!”
He definitely sends u cringy texts like “how’s my favorite 21 year old 😍😍😍😍” and it’s clearly somewhat condescending but he means it endearingly simultaneously
If u don’t know something that he asks u he’ll raise a brow and go “really? A four year head start and u can’t tell me that 🤨” and it’s all good fun but he’s always gonna say stuff like that
And this is all unprompted, if he knows ur actually kinda like insecure for whatever reason that ur older than him, maybe bc he’s already getting cash like crazy at his age, he’ll either start making fun of u relentlessly OR if ur serious about it he’ll cut it out of course and never mention it again. He might try to make u feel better by being like “don’t worry!! Physically and mentally im probably years older than you 😘” and it doesn’t really make u feel better probably but he kind of tries
It’s honestly no big deal to him what ur age is, but if he knows u don’t like him mentioning it so much he will bc he likes to be annoying LMAO and whenever u accomplish something he’ll be like “did u see what my s/o did?! My 21/22yr old s/o?! At their old age they’re still kicking it!!” And ur in NO means old but he just wants to strike a nerve in u and fight in public for fun
But when u put him joking about it aside, it really doesn’t mean anything in the relationship honestly. He doesn’t feel like there’s a certain way for things to go nd just goes about things normally, and he doesn’t really see people older than him as wiser or anytning so he’s not gonna like go to you for advice or ask you to figure things out for him just bc ur older
And honestly u don’t even need a job anymore bc ur gonna b together for a long time and he makes SOOO much money so if u hate ur job or college u have the opportunity to do what u want in life without worrying ab the pay bc he makes it all for u
And yeah he’s pretty stingy w money besides being filthy rich but when or if u need it he’ll give it to u ofc and he wants u to pursue what u like too so he’ll even go to ur job or college and just inform them “btw (y/n) isn’t gonna work here anymore” for u and gets u a job as whatever u want. He beats up ur boss so u can get promoted or something but if u ask about it he’ll deny it anyways and it’s like who else would beat tf out of my boss and he shrugs
Or if u like ur current job or college he’ll threaten the school or ur boss LMAO and have them give u more money or make u pay less or promote u
Even tho ur older than him he sees himself as the like leader of u two ?? Like he’s a really joke-y guy on the exterior but behind the scenes he is doing all the like hard stuff so u don’t have to. Like he sees it as he helps u and if u never offer much help or advice he doesn’t gaf, it’s like he helps u and in return he gets u LMAO
If u like ur job or college, don’t wanna quit and don’t want him threatening ur superiors he is like the number one customer of u guys
Like if u r working retail or as a cashier he is always going to that store nd buying stuff nd funding ur business and he gets chairman choi to do so too
Or he’ll just buy ur company or college LMFAO and suddenly sales r booming and u don’t know why r ur classes r so much easier
Yeah ur older than him and the twelve geniuses but he doesn’t let u near them 😐 he doesn’t want u to be a part of that type of business and honestly keeps u away from it besides maybe gun bc he’s always around him but that’s it
Like he doesn’t want u anywhere near his business or that type of stuff and if ur curios about it he says “u will understand when ur my age” or something LMAO so u will stop asking. It’s like the 1 time he’s suddenly rlly serious
If anyone else mentions how ur older than him in a demeaning way he’ll def be mad it’s like HE can make fun of u but no one else can, like ever. He will fight them nd win even if it’s just on the street or something
He’s threatened like two of ur friends behind ur back bc they made fun of u once and u mentioned it LMAO
He makes u do taxes (does he even do taxes ????? LMFAO) but if he does he makes u do them bc suddenly he thinks ur so much smarter and wiser
If he’s in a rut and needs ur help and it’s something dumb like he lost something he’ll b like “cmooon ur so much smarter than me 😣😩 ur like 21 u would know this for sure” to make u do it and he uses flattery
None of the ten geniuses know ur name bc he’s tryna keep u safe lol
If ur ever in a situation somehow vaguely similar to one he’s in and he needs help on it he’ll ask u what u did, and if u say something surprisingly smart or wise he’ll be kinda surprised bc I feel like he’s cocky and doesn’t think others can help him that much but u do
But overall, it means nothing to him and it doesn’t matter how much older u r he’s still gonna feel like the protector
Jake Kim
It REALLY means nothing to him. Like he honestly never mentions it and ur like does he even know??? Bc a guy like him who’s like a leader of a whole enterprise type thing gang usually seems like he’d wanna be the elder in a relationship so ur like “... u know I’m like 4yrs older than u right?”
And he’s like “...yeah? Was that important or something?” And just blinks at u so ur like ... never mind
Honestly he probably makes u a bank account and puts money in it to surprise u on ur birthday or something like a little fund thing and he has a bank account on the side for u that has like thousands of dollars
If u ever feel bad or weird that ur older than him bc he is so successful and younger than u, he wonders why it even matters??? Who gaf??? And he’ll just hug u or something and is like pls don’t even worry about that... wth
If u ever feel petty bc he’s so much more successful than u bc it’s like when u have a hobby that u love and then a kid ends up being so much better at it than u but SO much worse bc he has like millions at like 19 💀 then he’s like okay but it’s OUR little enterprise now since we r together to assure u. He’s not cocky about it at all
But he won’t offer for u to join or try and help him out in making money even if he’s got to or it’s vital bc he also doesn’t want u involved w Big Deal at ALLLLLLL either, u could literally b like the smartest person in the world but once ur his s/o he probably doesn’t want u involved in his business at all
He does assume ur kind of wiser than him bc of ur age, so he’ll ask u for help or advice more often
Tbh regardless in a relationship he probably doesn’t leave any work for u to do like he does everything the financial stuff the living stuff everything so it doesn’t matter if ur older than him or if u see it as ur responsibility bc of that he’s still gonna bring in the money for y’all
Like he’s gonna take care of everything even if ur older so there’s no pressure for u to “act ur age”
Never brings up the fact that ur older than him, but maybe once in a fight it got bad and he yelled “ffs ur 21 u should know better than this!!” And that hurt ur feelings or something so from then on he just never ever mentioned it
And when others mention it he makes a cut throat motion like “stfu😡” bc he took it as u not liking ur age being brought up rather than u not liking it being held against u but it’s still kinda sweet how he tries to preserve ur feelings sm
If ur in college or something, he tries to help u w hw and stuff and he’s rlly educationally smart I think like he might’ve gotten bad grades but he understands quickly
And eventually he’s just doing ur hw for u LMAO
One time he probably accidentally wrote “Jake Kim” on the top of ur hw and u had to explain to ur professor why that happened
If u work, he probably also bribes ur boss or something to give u a raise and promotion or if u wanna move jobs but r scared of the low pay he feels like it’s a dumb fear bc he is clearly rich af, like u probably don’t even need a job 😭😭
Ur allowed to since ur in ur 20s legally but he doesn’t like or doesn’t let u go around casinos bc he’s seen firsthand how bad gambling is and he has the money to compensate if u ever get into gambling and lose a lot but he just doesn’t want u to feel guilty or get addicted
Like if u pass a casino and wanna go in and r like hey wanna check it out he just grabs ur hand and keeps walking and is like “let’s not” and probably asks u at one point to pls not get into gambling
If ur kinda petty bc he’s so much better at fighting than u despite being younger he’s like u don’t even need to fight I can literally do that for u???? Bc he feels like the only reason U would ever need to fight is to protect urself so if u wanna do it for fun he’ll teach u but doesn’t take it that srsly
He maybe made like one joke ab ur age or sent u a meme he saw ab relationships but u left him on read and it was just a bad joke or something but yeah overall he really refrains from bringing up ur age like ever 😭😭
He thinks ur insecure bc ur getting older or something and that’s y so he might start going like “looking youthful today 😀👍” every morning to u and ur like oh hehe thanks ????????
If someone else ever voices that they think it’s weird ur older than him he’ll fight them too like first he’ll go “(y/n), is this ur friend ?” Like he did w jiho and if ur like no he’s like oh :)) and then punches them or something
Doesn’t tell u stuff ab his business and ur like I’m 20-23 I can handle it and he just refuses anyways and will leave u in the dark bc yk won’t even risk it
Someone in Big Deal might be like “use ur s/o to help us work nd get money since they’re old they seem professional” he kicked them out immediately ur not touching that shit
But generally, he doesn’t care about it at all, and honestly just cares ab u and not ur age
Scott Kwon
He definitely uses u to get into places only ppl 20+ can enter LMAOO
He’ll have u walk in first and then slip in past u and if he gets caught he grabs u and goes “THIS is my s/o!!! They’re clearly of age, and I’m their s/o so clearly I am of age too 😤😤”
Ur banned from like 50 bars because of this like there’s a little “if these two come and ask u to enter their bar DO NOT LET THEM ENTER!!” Wall for y’all
He might try and hide in ur coat or something to get in but it never works
He definitely makes fun of ur age in a cocky way like haha... an older person wanted to get with ME. Little old me. And he feels like hot stuff bc of it for sure
Brags about it a lot like will take out ur photo and goes “u see this?? My s/o?? Yeah they’re in love w me and THREE YRS OLDER... hold ur applause guys” and it boosts his ego sm
He sends u scarily recent memes or jokes on the internet ab older s/o’s if there r any, and eventually when u go on his Instagram at least 1/3rd of his feed is just ageist jokes
If it really hurts ur feelings, he won’t tell any jokes ab it and won’t mention it ever again but will continue to utilize ur age to do things he can’t at age 18-19
He feels proud that he’s making sm money and is such a good fighter despite being younger than u bc he feels like it makes u look up to him so he’ll boast about it like he’ll punch something and go see that babe????? I can do that and I’m only 19!!! And ur like omg that’s so cooollll!!!!! <3 and his heart just swells
Pays for anything u want like buys u everything u ask for or just look at tbh, and also feels like u have no responsibility just bc ur older and seees himself as like the “leader” if the relationship and has a sense of duty to helping u and everything
Steers u away from trouble ASAP too it doesn’t matter if u can hold off on ur own, if he sees guys that just look mean he and u r walking the other way and ur like bro what?? And he just lies and is like I liked the sunset this direction or smmn and he doesn’t confide in u ab scary things
Bc yeah u can probably handle scary or threatening news but he’s not gna risk it regardless
If he’s rlly stressed ab something that can’t endanger u he won’t tell u that much ab it but might vaguely describe his predicament and looks to u for help and comfort and u just listen and he feels so much better afterwards and he’s telling u all this and ur just like mhm uh-huh :) and so he starts confiding in u more
But ruins it by going like “damn old ppl r good listeners 😆” and ur like STOPPPPPPP
Everyone in God Dog knows ur name age face and occupation bc he’s always talking ab u LMAO
When he was younger and didn’t have that much leniency with the law he made u his legal guardian so he can do what he wants and he tries to use u to get him to do stuf by pointing to u and going “they’re my legal guardian and they say I can drink all this!!” And ur like “no I absolutely do not???!!!!!” And he thought by doing that he’d get anytning but u prioritize his health 🙄 and he’s annoyed but secretly loves it and loves u doting on him nd worrying ab him and his well-being lol
In general, he rlly doesn’t care that ur older than him. His only big concern I. A relationship ever is how he can keep u safe bc he’s in pretty like tough stuff, and he’ll make fun of u but in all good fun and loves u sm
Thank you for the request, and thanks for the wish of luck <3 I’ll the my best w this blog!! I’m not that good at writing for Jake Kim, btw, because his character can kinda confuse me sometimes but he seems to be popular so I hope I get more requests of him so I can get his character down and write him properly. 💘I hope this was what u wanted 😭
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honey-makki · 3 years
Note
Hey Kristen babie! If you fancy it how about the nsfw alphabet for Daichi (cause you know i’m a hoe for him and him only) ily💛
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congrats for requesting my first full alphabet request! i word vomited and this is what happened! enjoy baby!!
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warnings: impact play, breeding kink, creampie
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
This depends. He loves morning sex and after that he is refreshed, cooks breakfast and loves on you a bit before he goes into the station. If it's the weekend or at night? Honestly, he's probably a little lazy. He will give you what you need, if that's a shwoer or food or comfort, but he really just wants a quick shower and to lay up in bed with you and take a nap. That being said, if y’all have a hard scene/session he ensures you are ok before addressing his own needs.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
You thought I’d say thighs, which yes they are are up there but mostly because of how much you love them, but his favorite part of him is his shoulders. He is just so wide and imposing and he loves the way your hands feel so small against his back. I think he loves hips/thighs. I don’t know if that is his breeding kink popping out or what, but he loves to grip the soft flesh any chance he gets. His hand is always resting on your thigh, and if it's bare, it's even better. 
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
He got that thicc cum. It’s barely runny and honestly, he has massive loads. It's hard to swallow it all if he cums in your mouth, but his eyes light up with a lustful glint when he sees you choke it down while his cock is still in your mouth. He loves to watch it ooze out of any of your holes and then push it back in. Whether that means he’s fucking it back into you or just shoving it in with his fingers. Hates using a condom just because he loves watching it come out, but will if you want him to. 
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He wants to plug you full of his cum. He wants to see you round and plump with his kid. He wants to fuck into you over and over and over again, angling your hips up so none of his seed is lost, and when you’re done, he’s either gonna sheath himself back in you or stuff you full with a pretty little plug. It doesn’t matter if you are on the pill or not, because at least for a minute, he can imagine that you aren’t, imagine how much he wants to mark you as his in the strongest way he can.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
I think he got laid when he was younger, and then like, didn’t for a long time. He’s probably had one or two long term relationships where they experimented to some degree but I don’t think he has a tone of past sexual partners. He’s very much a giver though, so he is experienced in figuring out exactly what his partners love and how to make them tick.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
Loves fucking you while you’re both on your side. He just gets to hold onto your thigh thrown over his hip and it’s perfect for lazy slow sex. When you are feeling a little needier he loves missionary, because he wants to see you cry just a few tears from being fucked so good. He does love the opportunity to watch your cunt suck him in with every thrust that isn’t awarded in the other. 
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Tbh i don’t think this man laughs during sex unless something goes wrong or makes a really funny noise. It’s not that he’s serious and more that he is focused. He’s determined to make both of you feel good and be satisfied. He’s taking in every reaction of yours constantly so he knows what he needs to give you. Faster? Harder? Deeper? Praise? He’s gonna figure it out. Sometimes he gets lost in his own head trying to please you that he forgets himself and pulls himself out of the scene but he’s trying to get better at that
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
I think he trims once a week or so. He’s always had good hygiene, but now that someone else has to deal with it, he would be super embarrassed if it was an unpleasant experience. If you have a preference he will probably default to that and include it in his routine. He has a thick lil happy trail that he also trims but not as short as the rest. 
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 
Again, very focused on making sure you are happy and feeling good. If you are cognizant and coherent at the end, then he didn’t do a good enough job. Likes to kiss you wherever he can reach. Isn’t the most vocal but will remind you how good you are doing every once in a while and how happy he is that you are with him. Is the type of dude to light candles or do something soft and sweet as foreplay just because he loves you.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
Used to jack off before every game. It got out any residual stress or anxiety and cleared his head. If he doesn’t fuck you in the morning he is for sure jacking off in the shower. He doesn’t have to, but it leaves him in a better mood and more focused which is pretty important for his job. I think he’s louder during this than sex because it’s the only time he’s focused solely on him and his pleasure and he can’t help it. Also, imma say it, I think he loves to feel himself up and play with his nipples or ass while he jacks off. 
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Breeding kink- I’m sorry he gives off such daddy dom energy he has to have a breeding kink. I don’t think he would be as forward about it as others but if you bring it up or beg him to cum inside something in him snaps
Mutual/Guided Masturbation- I think he finds it so lewd to watch you play with your cunt or be directed on how to finger yourself. There’s something that just feels so taboo and enticing. He also probably likes it when you are both masturbating together and you’re instructing him. It's one of the only times he lets you give him commands, but only because of the way you cream and fall apart on your fingers watching him get lost in the pleasure
Impact play- He isn’t into brats but he does love to give you a good slap on the ass or thigh. Especially when you get distracted or don’t answer his question. If he’s fucked you a little too hard and you feel a little dumb, he might lightly slap your cheek a bit teasing you about how glossy your eyes are and how messy you look drooling. 
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
He has a reputation to uphold. He almost exclusively does it at home. He wants you to be comfortable, and he wants to make sure he can give you the aftercare you deserve. He does love it when you give him head in his car and secretly dreams about getting road head but never would bring it up. 
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
He wants to hear you moan (or scream) out his name. The way his ego is boosted when you can’t say anything but his name is unmatched. Bur at the base of it he just loves you and knowing he can make you feel that good has his heart beating a little fast.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
NOT into threesomes. He doesn’t want to share you, call him possessive but you are his and that’s that. He’s a little traditional. I think if you really wanted to you could convince him to let someone watch, but it would be a hard argument and it would need to be someone he both trusts and wouldn’t make it awkward after. 
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
He is passable. But the longer you are with him the better he gets at teasing you just the way you want. He could stay down there for hours because you sound so pretty and taste delicious, but you would rather get fucked, and who is he to say no? He loves receiving as much as giving, If you let him fuck your face he will fall even harder for you but also is super turned on by you working so hard bobbing up and down to give him a mindblowing orgasm, desperate just to bring him pleasure. 
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
He’s fairly medium. His stroke game is pretty consistent for each session. He prefers deep and slower strokes but has no problems fucking you hard into the mattress if that’s what either of you needs. I don’t think he has a thing for marking you up so he’s a little less rough than you would expect. 
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
No. You deserve more than a quick fuck. If you beg he’ll take you around the corner and finger you roughly until you cum or if he has the opportunity to fall to his knees and slip under your skirt. But he won’t fuck you. He will find a reason to leave an event early or show up later before a full-blown quickie. `
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
He is not into public sex, but he is absolutely down for experimenting in the bedroom, but only if you bring it up. He wants to make you feel good and if you want to be choked, or manhandled, or edged he will comply. Will only bring up things he wants to try like breeding kinks or anal play if you directly ask him.  
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
He can do a solid two rounds but has good control over not letting himself cum until you are satisfied or begging for it. Has a super long refractory period but will eat you out if you want more He also loves to lightly tease you until he can go again with light lingering touches or a gruff voice in your ear that leaves you squeezing your thighs together. 
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He didn’t own toys until he got together with you. He has a few different vibrators he likes to use, especially when you are being a brat. Partial to the one with a remote and loves leaving you full under his control and unaware of when he’s gonna change it up
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He doesn’t tease often. Mostly when he wants to build up your neediness between sessions. You are thankful he doesn’t do it often because he is way too good at it and would be a problem if he did it frequently. He knows exactly how to press into your back, or play with a strand of your hair that leaves you needing more
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Ok so he isn’t very vocal but he can’t help the grunts and heavy breathes that fall from his lips. When you squeeze around him sometimes he laughs a little or gives a tidbit of praise. He knows that it will make you squeeze again if he does and shit, it does feel good, and you deserve every bit of praise he gives.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
The most public sex you’ve ever had was a day he was practicing in the college gym and when his teammate left you watched him clean up. But god the sweat rolling down his bare back was about to drive you wild. The energy he had spent practicing didn’t hold a candle to his need to bend you over the bench and pull your skirt up. Both of you were happy he took the initiative and pulled you into the shower with him. You didn’t get caught per se, but you do think his teammate heard you screaming out his name when he came back for something because the next time you saw him he couldn’t make eye contact.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Captain of the coke can cock club. That shit is THICK. It’s not super long, just under 6 inches, but that’s honestly a blessing because you can barely take him as is. Your lips stretch an obscene amount, hurting almost instantly when you take him in your mouth and you can tell that he loves watching you struggle. He is a veiny mf tho and you can feel every single one because of how full you always are. Also, sorry he has big breeder balls that are so heavy when he’s close. If he’s fucking you from behind it almost hurts when they slap into your clit. 
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
I think his sex drive is moderately high but he’s just as satisfied to jerk off in the shower. It’s less about the sex and more about the levelheadedness he’s left with after. Don’t get me wrong, he will take the opportunity to bury his face or cock between your legs, but if that doesn’t happen too often that’s ok with him
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Daichi makes me think of a bear. After taking care of his responsibilities (you) he’s gonna hibernate. Clinging onto you while he takes a FAT nap. If it’s the morning he’s left fully recharged but literally any other time of day, even lunchtime, he’s gonna be super sleepy after.
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lovethisletters · 3 years
Text
The Bat & The Lantern || Batman x Reader
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Hi, lovely! I had so much fun writing this (I'm not gonna lie, I was quite nervous at first, since I don't know that much about the whole green lantern universe, but guess it turned out...ok?) so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did and to be honest, I would like to revisit this story again in the future!
Little disclaimer: The reader is a Human green lantern but similar to star-lord she lived the majority of her life in space, that's why she's so oblivious as to whom Batman is, also this takes place during Dick Grayson early years as robin (12-13).
Word count: 2233!!!
Summary: Reader is a new member of the Justice League...but Batman doesn't seem too happy about it.
Keys: Y/S/N: Your Superhero Name | Y/N: Your (real) Name.
Hal Jordan was your friend since you joined the green lanterns (which it was barely 3 or 4 years ago)
Basically...you were "new"
But that didn't stop your fellow green lanterns (?) From seeing all your potential.
Everyone is convinced that with the right training and perseverance, you will become one of the greatest green lanterns of all time.
So, it didn't take long before you proved yourself to be capable enough to join the big leagues.
More specifically, The Justice League.
Hal was the one to introduce you to his companions.
The Amazonian, the human looking alien, the speedster, the other Alien not so human looking, the half robot; everyone was so nice to you since they met you.
Everyone except...The grumpy bat.
When you first introduced yourself, he didn't even bother to be as welcoming as the others.
He just stood there, looking all big and serious that you almost thought it was a statue or the poor guy had catatonic lapses or was way too shy or socially awkward to approach you.
You felt bad, so you approached him instead.
—Hi! I'm Y/S/N...—You said enthusiastically before being abruptly interrupted.
—I know, I heard your introduction already—His voice so devoid of any kind of emotion that you may as well had been talking to a machine.
"Scanning complete, Batman"
A voice inside his cowl informed him, it sounded like an older man with a British accent.
—Thank you, I'll check it later.
That’s when it hit you…the reason why he was watching you so intensely and standing so incredibly still: He was scanning you.
Fucking. Son. Of. A. Bitch.
You stayed there, your face paralyzed with surprise and anger, without knowing very well what to answer; you didn't want to cause a scene on your first day, but this man was just so rude; That is not an appropriate way to receive a new member. yes, it is normal to have suspicions, but you would appreciate if he had the decency to let his suspicions be known when you weren't present.
—she just introduced herself and already on with the paranoic behavior, Bats? seriously? —Hal stepped in your defense.
—this is a routine procedure; I'm just being cautious.
—He was like that at the beginning with all of us too, don’t worry he’ll warm up to you in no time—Wonder woman whispered in your ear after watching your uncomfortable expression.
Ultimatedly you decided to listen to the amazonian and let that one slide, “is normal to be wary of new things anyways” you repeated yourself.
As the months passed you have grown quite frustrated. Between all the missions and meetings even though you felt your relationship with the rest of the team grow closer and they began to trust you and respect you; your relationship with the Batman stayed pretty much the same.
Yes, there was a bit of progress….a bit.
He was bit more talkative to you, a bit more “friendly”, a bit more trusting.
But it was always just a bit never actually fully a teammate to you, your relationship felt more like distant coworkers.
At the beginning it didn’t worry you too much, until your lack of communication started to mess with your performance in the missions, sometimes something completely bizarre and unexpected would happen and because both of you didn’t know each other very well, the mission would take the double amount of time to resolve since you couldn’t coordinate at all.
One time he almost ran you over with his batwing…
The whole thing was kinda funny looking back on it but at the time you were furious (rightfully so)
In his defense, he didn’t knew you were there…I mean…you basically where standing in his parking spot (not that you knew there was such a thing, most members could fly or at least jump really high, so you kinda always forgot he couldn’t…and to be honest you didn’t know his exact powers)
—Sorry—was all he said as he got out of the strangely shaped flying vehicle and directed only one glance at you to make sure you where ok before entering the building, always maintaining that characteristic calm and cold demeanor.
One day you entered the hall of justice earlier than usual only to find an unexpected guest sitting in one of the empty chairs his gaze fixated on a book, he was wearing a rather colorful suit of some sort matching his green mask, then you realized when you were close enough…he was a C H I L D.
You panicked, why was a child here? Is he some sort of mini spy? How was he able to get through the security system?  Did he touch anything dangerous?
This and many more questions ran through your mind, the child noticed you were looking at him and only gave a polite nod as a greeting before returning his attention to his book.
Perhaps a school trip that you weren’t aware of was taking place and this kid strayed from his class? Perhaps he was looking for one of your teammates to ask for a photo and got lost and decided to wait here for his teacher? That will explain why everyone wasn’t here in the meetings room, perhaps they were busy giving the (hypothetical) group of children a tour?
—Hey kiddo! Are you lost? —you began the conversation in a friendly tone before kneeling down a little in order to appear less imposing…after all he was a child you didn’t wanna scare him.
He looked at you so incredulously.
You could almost hear him think “ma’am wtf are you doing???” through his expressions.
—What’s your name?
—Ummm…uh…Robin?­—He spoke like it was something obvious  while signaling the “R” symbol on his chest.
—Robin, uh? What a pretty name! tell me Robin…why are you here? Are you lost?
Poor boy he was so confused, you didn’t know who he was? Didn’t any of the members told you about him? And more importantly…Why where you talking to him like if he was a 5-year-old?
—No, ma’am…I’m just waiting for Batman.
“Batman? Was he a fan of Batman of all superheroes?”  It surprised you a bit, usually kids tend to like superman or wonder woman more since they are nicer and charismatic, and Batman was the opposite.
—Sorry Kiddo, I don’t think he’s one for photos, perhaps you could ask the others some other time! ­— you began explaining trying to dissuade the kid while guiding him towards the exit.
—He’s not here for photos—smooth as ever…the Bat was behind you.
—He’s my sidekick.
Your jaw dropped, a sidekick? He’s a CHILD! You knew superheroes had sidekicks, but you never knew they were that young!
Before you could even begin to protest, Batman ignored you, looking down at the child and instructing him to collect his things.
—Hurry, you’ll be late for class again. — He said before disappearing behind the door that led to his parking spot.
Robin quickly followed, hanging his backpack over his shoulder before stopping in his tracks directing an apologetic smile towards you and saying:
—Don’t worry miss, I can take care of myself! — He must have noticed the concern on your face before leaving.
Since that day your routine changed.
You would wake up earlier, many times you’ll be the first to arrive to the Hall of justice, and even have breakfast flying on your way there all for one thing: Robin.
Once you learned he was Batman’s sidekick you couldn’t help but worry over that poor child, “what if he gets hurt? Is he eating/sleeping/resting properly?” you just couldn’t help yourself.
At first it was just checking on the kid by just…seeing him in the morning and greeting him casually but there were times he wasn’t there, and you would panic internally and there was no other way to calm your anxiety until you would ask the Bat about the child.
He would always replay shortly: “He’s at home” “He’s at school” “He’s busy” and your conversations always would end there.
One day that Robin was there however, instead of your usual ‘greeting nod’ he started talking to you.
He asked you all sorts of things (that weren’t compromising to your real identity ofc) “What’s your favorite color?” “What music do you like?” “What’s your favorite movie?”
And it started from there.
The conversations with Robin grew not only more frequent but also more personal (as personal as someone with a superhero lifestyle can be), to the point it had become a routine for you to come early and talk to the boy, sometimes you had breakfast together or even helped him with his homework before the Bat would take him to school.
Perhaps it was because you didn’t have many acquittances here on earth, but Robin became family to you.
And family takes care of each other.
It had been a rather difficult and spontaneous mission; Lex Luthor was starting to act a little bit fishy (more than usual) using his connections and money Luthor had been acquiring/robbing very specifically concerning items all over the US, his next objectives: a Radion sample being investigated in a secret laboratory in Star city and a Dionesium sample...contained in the Wayne tower laboratories...
The team decided to split to put a stop to Luthor’s minions and his plan.
The Bat insisted the rest of the team should go to Star city, telling them that he and Robin could handle it, but everyone was immediately against it: Luthor had already collected relatively powerful items and being the intelligent motherfucker he is, probably transformed some of those items to give to his goon’s so they might have a chance in harming any of the members if they were to interfere.
Ultimately, the team agreed you and cyborg would accompany them to Wayne Tower.
Robin was stoked, he would get the opportunity to fight alongside you! But Batman…not so much…he kept trying to lose the two of you on the way there; fortunately, cyborg put a tracker on the batwing, he wasn’t going to get rid of you that easy.
Upon your arrival, you could spot several men (armed like if they were military but with a much more upgraded equipment) already leaving the building, carrying two tanks (presumably full of that substance Martian Manhunter had mentioned before) and heading to a truck without any plates.
Long story short: you organized a plan as quickly as you could but…something went wrong…Cyborg and Robin were supposed to create a distraction while the two of you recovered the tanks without damaging them, since the properties of the substance within remained unknown.
But something went wrong: You and Batman failed to coordinate and so you were spotted by the henchmen, they started aiming their weapons at the two of you, initially you thought a force field generated by the power of your ring would be enough...oh no, honey, you’re so wrong.
Sonic weapons were able to not only break your concentration quickly, but also made your ears bleed! One after another you kept re-making the fields, but the sonic waves so deathly and loud just kept coming.
You don’t know how but you were able to stand your ground long enough to make cover not only for Batman and allow him to get the tanks back safely but also for the rest of your team and give them a slight advantage to take down as many of Luthor’s minions as they could.
And then…you passed out.
You woke up at the infirmary in Justice Hall, your head a mess and wrapped in bandages, you had broken your arm because that shit inside a cast too for some reason…and…your ring was gone!
Panic!
No, never mind it was on the nightstand next to the chair in which batman was sitting on.
WAIT…next to the chair in which batman was sitting on?!?!?!
—How are you feeling? — you didn’t know if it was him suddenly talking or the genuine concern on his voice that startle you, so you just nodded slightly while he approached you.
—Can you hear me properly? —Surprisingly you could, but you still were a bit taken aback by his presence.
—I…­—Before responding your brain reminded you of the fact that you didn’t had your ring on, hence your secret identity was revealed to Batman. Your hands practically flew to your face in embarrassment. You didn’t know why but without your mask you felt naked and vulnerable.
He noticed.
His gaze studying your pained expression before he let out a small sigh.
—I came here…to thank you…and apologize— hesitantly his hands moved to the back of his cowl.
—You not only put yourself in danger for Cyborg and Robin, but you also concerned yourself with my safety even when it was probably my fault that we ended up in that situation —He admitted pressing a hidden button loosing up his cowl before finally taking it off and reviling the most gorgeous man you’ve had ever lay your eyes on.
—And for that I thank you and apologize…sincerely—Such sudden action left you speechless for a while, Batman not only had thanked you and apologized, but he had entrusted his identity to you.
—I think-…I think we started with the wrong foot; you know? —You finally were able to respond, breaking the silence that filled the room and surprising him slightly by your sudden declaration.
—Let’s start again…Hi! I’m Y/N—You imitated the same friendly voice tone you first used to talk to him.
The lips on the man in front of you curved forming a subtle almost imperceptive grin.
—Hello, Y/N, I’m Bruce…Bruce Wayne.
 ♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤
 WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! IT. TOOK. SO. LONG. Sorry :c
I had a bunch of ideas for this request but ended up going with this one since I wanted to expand on their beginning, I’m still trying to figure out a way to write Bruce and this was my first attempt, so…sorry if it was…bad :c I’ll try harder next time!!!
Any errors you might see, please let me know; English is not my first language so I’m trying to improve.
In the final scene I wanted Bruce to show he recognized the Reader as an equal so that’s why he took it off…still I felt like it could improve.
 ♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤
I will forever thank you if you go check out my other profile: @aileysmirnov​ where I post things about my OC: edits, one-shots, imagines, art, etc. If you like Greek mythology and the bat family maybe you would get to be a little bit fond of her as much as I am!
Anyway! Thank you for reading!
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tommybaholland · 3 years
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Hiya! I was wondering if I could request a one-shot with Sugawara where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe another person catches his attention and the reader starts to distance themselves from Suga to try to spare themselves the hurt? Then maybe turns out the other person was just using Suga/wasn’t serious bout him and he realizes that the person he really loves is the reader but now they’re staying away from him and just angst and fluff and dramatic confessions?? Sorry if it’s far too much detail, I get carried away. Your writing is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!
somebody, some body
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featuring: sugawara 
goddddd i’m so sorry i am late with a post AGAIN. this has been way overdue to be posted actually, and last night i finished it and was almost done with editing but accidentally lost everything i added and edited in the draft :// so thank you for being patient with me! this ended up being pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the wait :) anyway, i really liked this idea! i have a little personal experience with this kind of situation, so it was fun to explore those feelings a bit. thanks for requesting and enjoy!
you didn’t always know that you would be in love with koshi sugawara. your dynamic was always friendly, and nothing more. so where did you go wrong?
when you think back to your history with suga, you could never find yourself resenting any time you spent with him. it all started when you moved into his neighborhood and as a shy child, you didn’t have the easiest time making friends. but he was a kind boy who was around your age and made it easy for you to form a bond with him. after all those years, neither one of you had changed that much. you were still reserved at heart but, he was the one who pushed you to things that you both could enjoy. 
one is joining the high school volleyball club together. you weren’t usually one to go outside of your comfort zone, but with him, you felt like you could do anything. he had you fuel your enthusiasm and you had him to thank for that. volleyball ended up being a great idea because it was quite a versatile sport that anyone could play. you found that you were quite athletic and took a liking to the libero position. there was just something exciting about digging a ball off the ground and rolling on the floor to get back up again. also, it looked pretty cool. 
so that was great until you hurt your shoulder during a game, which ended up being more severe than it seemed. now you couldn’t lift your left arm very far over your head unless you wanted to dislocate your shoulder again. it was already a tough recovery period because all you wanted to do was get back to the game. 
he was there with you for the entirety of it and even though he mostly encouraged you, he had to make sure you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself. you felt helpless. it was the lowest he had ever seen you and he did everything he could to lift you back up again.
that was something you could never take for granted with him. 
the thing about you and suga is that you were in constant contact, especially during school. if it wasn’t sending each other funny memes or tiktoks, you were either on snapchat with each other or texting. sometimes simultaneously. 
are you alive?? 
yeah i’m awake, unfortunately
what do u want sugar-wara 
whoa how are you up this early lol and sugar is my thing ok
let’s go get sweet buns before class
ur right, it is ur thing. ur sugar-wara
okay i’ll meet you by the light in 15 
there was a lonely intersection in your neighborhood with a red stoplight that seems to have malfunctioned and now the light never stops blinking. you and suga lived on the same street, with the intersection being a perfect place to literally meet in the middle. 
“hey, sugar-- uh oh. someone doesn’t look so sweet today!”
he was always so peppy in the mornings. 
“yeah, well, maybe if someone didn’t wake me up with their annoying texts..”
“if you really don’t want to be woken up, you’d put your phone on do not disturb. you can thank me later for being your alarm clock.” 
he gave you a bright smile and a few head pats before you set off down the road to your favorite bakery which happened to be on the way to school. you didn’t go every morning, but most days it was necessary for you to start your day off right. 
“how’s the team looking this year, mr. vice captain?”
“pretty good, actually! four first years joined the team and one of them’s over six feet tall. our blocks will be unstoppable!”
 there were several things you loved about suga but, if there was one thing you enjoyed most, it was hearing him get psyched about volleyball. even though you couldn’t play anymore, his undying enthusiasm for the sport made you feel like you were living through him vicariously. 
“and there’s one who’s on the shorter side, only a little taller than noya. but he seems to have so much energy and drive, it’s just-- i don’t know, i have a feeling we could actually make it to nationals this year.” 
“wow, that’s great!” 
“you should come to practice and see them! also we just got asahi back so i need to make sure my sets really land.” 
“kou, you know i love watching you guys but isn’t that what kiyoko’s there for?”
“well, yeah, but you know how i play best!”
“yeah, sure. it’s not like i have anything better to do.” 
“you never let me down!” 
 his smile never let you down. 
it was your senior year of high school and it felt like things were going to be nothing but great.
“so...speaking of you knowing me best,” he started rather hesitantly.
“what would you do if i...made you dinner?”
“i...what?”
“oh, uh, oh, no. not, like, i make you dinner but, like...rei finally agreed to come around tonight and i thought i’d make something for them.”
“oh, um,” you tried to force a smile. “yeah, i think they’d like that.”
“yeah? you don’t think it’s too cheesy or anything? we haven’t hung out very much but i’d thought it would be a nice way to show them that i mean what i feel, you know?”
“yeah, yeah! that sounds perfect, kou..”
if only they knew that they were so lucky. 
you knew about this person, rei. they were your teammate and even a friend at one time. they transferred to karasuno during your second year and you bonded over your shared interest of the libero position. they didn’t get to play much that season until you got injured and had to quit playing. 
to see them fill that position so easily, it made you feel so type of way. a way that suga couldn’t know because even though he was there for you, he couldn’t deny his feelings. you remember when he told you that he liked them. about how he’s liked them ever since they came to karasuno and about how he was nervous to talk to them. 
and guess what?
you encouraged him. you encouraged him to try to pursue someone who you knew and liked, so now you had to hide that you were envious of both their position on the team AND the fact that your best friend is in love with them. 
at first, you tried to look at it as a positive point. you were still friendly with them, but volleyball was the only thing that connected you so you didn’t talk to them that much anymore. but now that suga, the person you’re closest to, was talking to them, it opened up the possibility that you would be able to reconnect with them. you had to be supportive. you were his friend, his closest friend, after all. 
-
the next morning you didn’t wake up from a text from suga. no, it took several snooze buttons to wake you up, which already put you in a bad mood. 
it’s ur turn now. are u alive??
i actually woke up to my alarms, how weird. u must be dead lol 
also have you done the english assignment yet? i need serious help >_<
you weren’t afraid to double, triple, even quadruple text him because more often than not, he did that to you. sometimes he’d even send longish paragraphs as he did later that day when classes had already started. 
hey sorry today has just been filled with fun and thriving and good stuff! rei asked me if i wanted to meet up with them before school last night and they made me some sweet buns and they were soooo good. i think we’re going to eat lunch together with some of their friends from vbc. ugh english sucks for me too. idk why you think i’m good at it
you almost jumped at the gesture to reply. it was never this long that he would go without text you at least one dumb thing. 
haha it’s okay don’t be sorry! so i guess last night went well?
also ur great at english sugar-wara what r u talking about??
it surprised you how quickly they seemed to become so friendly. it was kinda weird that he would already be spending a lot of time with her and now meeting all her friends. he probably already knew of them though, with volleyball and everything. the thoughts of how long you would have to wait for a reply crept in your mind, but that was quickly erased by an elapsed period of only a few minutes. 
yeah it went great! they had never had someone cook for them before, so they really liked it. this morning they told me they’d show me how to make fried eggs bc i said i dont know how to use a stove lol 
wait you made a whole meal for this person and u don’t know how to use the stove??
i used a crockpot and microwave ok :// don’t make fun of me dingus 
well a stove would definitely broaden ur horizons lmao that’s nice it went well though 
thank you i hope its going well 
that conversation was truly the end of the beginning. 
Every day after that seemed to happen the same way. you’d wake up, no text from suga. he hadn’t even replied to what you last said the previous night. you didn’t see him much either, but you knew who he was with probably. you would still stop by at volleyball practice where you did get to see him but they were there also. so you found yourself dipping out a lot more. 
it just felt weird. seeing him talk to someone he didn’t even know before. they didn’t even know him. even when you two were on the team together, they never once showed much interest in him and now it just seemed strange that they would. 
the transition was particularly difficult for you, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. one night you were so overwhelmed with work because you had waited too long to do it. frantically texting suga was an understatement. 
you knew you couldn’t put all your reliance on him but it was weird that he wasn’t replying on a school night as he was just as much a procrastinator as you. you dragged yourself through the night, trying to put together a somewhat coherent speech for english the next day. which, again, started as it had for the past few weeks. you still hadn’t heard from him, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. by the time he replied, it was almost embarrassing on your part. 
oh my god y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t reply sooner. i tried to get all my work done early so i could hang out with rei last night and i was asking my mom for advice and she told me to just pay attention to them as much as possible so i just wanted to be with them, you know? but i really hope you didn’t beat yourself up too much about it and that you got at least a little sleep. i’m sure your speech went well :) 
you sounded desperate for his help and meanwhile, he’s genuinely trying to show someone how much they mean to him. could you look any more stupid? 
you didn’t even want to reply but you felt like you had to. 
no don’t be sorry koshi! if anything i’m sorry i was just super frustrated in the moment and didn’t know what to do. i managed to pull something halfway decent together i think so it’s all okay now 
was it okay though? 
that was when you realized that things would never be the same. you’re his best friend and that’s simply it. you mean something to him, but not the same something that they mean to him. you couldn’t go to him when you help because then you’d be taking his time away from someone who wanted to feel that special meaning. it was a hard pill to swallow, for sure. but there were still several questions that lingered in the potential of what your relationship could be.
isn’t it possible to be both a best friend and a partner at the same time? you didn’t see any problem with it, so why couldn’t it be true? 
-
two weeks past and suga, your best friend, decided to let you in on some news. 
going up against all these powerhouse schools is definitely tough but it’ll help our team in the long run. we’re really amped to play seijoh soon but also i have an s/o now who can come and cheer us on 
WAIT you guys made it official?? when?
haha we’ve been official for like two weeks now 
oh well that’s great! 
(what the actual hell.)
months went by and you saw suga maybe two or three times. and only saw him, usually with the rest of the volleyball team or with rei and their friends. you texted now and then but it wasn’t the same. you had to accept that it wouldn’t be the same, so you did. you had a good group of friends who you spent more of your time with, as well as trying to focus as much as possible on school. entrance exams were coming up and you couldn’t let this be your downfall, even though you and suga had previously talked about possibly going to the same college together. but that wasn’t important anymore. 
you had your priorities and suga had his. 
which was the biggest reason why you decided not to go to the game against aoba johsai. you told him that you would try to make it, if schoolwork and college prep courses would lend you the chance. you were just trying to focus on yourself and work hard in on your own. you still texted him just to show that you still cared. 
sorry i couldn’t make it to the game! how did it go?
we lost :’(( we were so close too 
oh no :( i’m sorry kou. but i know you guys will get them next time!
he never replied, which only made you want to grow further from him. 
summer vacation rolled around and it was about a month out from suga’s birthday. a strange text appeared from someone you didn’t expect. 
Hey so I wanted to get manga for suga for his bday but I cannot for the life of me remember which ones he has so can you try to casually ask him which ones he has? like the next time you guys talk about manga or something?
you felt weird that they were asking for your help, considering that they now spent more time with him than you did. but you weren’t going to completely ignore them either.
to be honest we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i’ll try to subtly ask him 
Okay awesome thanks!
what were you thinking of getting him?
Deathnote lol nothing original
hmm maybe the new aot volume? 
Yeah, that’s a good one. Or maybe BNHA
yeah that too! do you still want me to ask him? 
Yeah could you? 
yeah sure!
Yay thanks! 
okay i’ll let you know what i find out
going through with this was even worse. if it were you, you’d take him to see his favorite artist in concert. he wasn’t never much of a concert guy but he would talk about how badly he wanted to go see them live. or a more lowkey and personal option would be to customize a crewneck for him. you had a knack for designing and decorating plain-looking clothes and he would try to do it himself but would always remark how much better yours always turned out. 
but this time you’re simply the messenger and wouldn’t get that chance to get him something you know he’d love. not that he wouldn’t like manga, but it just seemed like they weren’t putting a ton of thought into it. maybe you couldn’t blame them though, it had only been a few months that they had been dating. 
that conversation honestly seemed more out-of-the-blue than anything, but you were hoping that suga would be as oblivious as ever. it didn’t even matter in the end because he never even answered your subtle way of asking. you didn’t feel like double texting because a.) you hadn’t done that in months and b.) it seemed too obvious. 
in the end, you did all that you could do and told rei that you had no information to provide, even after a week had passed. that was your, now monthly, interaction with suga that month. 
but it wasn’t like you weren’t thinking about him. 
your interactions moved from text to strictly snapchat, where you would hold streaks for considerable amounts of time. but every time you seemed to break contact with him, you found yourself blaming them. but you couldn’t blame them. they were with him, dating him. they had a right to claim a spot by his side. you had learned to pull back and just live your life. 
but life didn’t want you to have a great time either. albeit through a simple app like snapchat, he was the one asking you if you were okay. at this point, you would probably just deflect but somehow, you found yourself telling him about how you didn’t do so well on your entrance exams, despite having done what you could to prepare for them. you just thought you were so focused to do well, but maybe it was too much focus. you told him it would be alright. another notification came through.
snapchat from sugar wara  
you opened it to a selfie of him, one that was angled upwards to position him looking right up into the camera, his wide hazel eyes being the centerpiece of the photo. the caption simply said, “promise?”
and that was when it happened. you felt something different in your heart like it was knocked around in your chest. you smiled at the simple response and replied, “yeah i promise!!” 
it felt strange, but you finally admitted it, 
you were in love with koshi sugawara. 
timing was, without a doubt, a demise in all of your previous relationship endeavors. you could never seem to get that part right, also coming in too fast or not knowing if you should wait. you had only hoped that someone you liked would like you just as much. so catching feelings for someone, strong feelings at that, was not part of your current life plans. let alone with suga, someone you were, at one point, extremely close to. 
you know so much about him and what scared you was that your confession would be the only one that could mess up whatever relationship you had left with him. why couldn’t you just enjoy where you stood with him? why should your selfish feeling have to get in the way? 
stupid was an understatement as you how you felt. he was still dating rei, and that didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. you didn’t know what to do or how to cope. you can fight your feelings, but they can’t change right away. and for as long as you’ve known suga, the history you’ve shared with him, it seemed like these feelings weren’t leaving anytime soon. 
you spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything out, while simultaneously trying to forget. you vented about it to your friends and while most of them offered advice, you stuck with just remaining stagnant. one of them suggested that you confess to him but that was what you feared most: that your feeling would become so overwhelming that you had to do something impulsive to relieve them. he would probably never talk to you again. there was nothing you could do. he was in a relationship with someone he really likes. why would you try to ruin that for him? 
you didn’t go to any of the preliminaries, mostly because of prep courses and trying to prepare for the next round of entrance exams. you still kept up with suga and saw that they won in the game against seijoh and we now going to the finals against shiratorizawa. you swiped up on his story and typed a simple, “omg that's amazing!! see I knew you guys could do it.” you continue to scroll through your phone, not thinking that much about it until a notification popped up.
sugar wara is typing…
snapchat from sugar wara
yeah it was great! Wish you could have been here though :(
me too! college prep courses seem to have been taking up all my time :P
is there any chance that you could try to find time to come to finals? 
we've been trying to get all the support that we can
plus it would be nice to see a familiar face there :) 
yeah i'll see what i can do to try to be there!
 wymd a familiar face? hasn't rei been going to the prelims?
they have been but we actually broke up about two weeks ago
i sort of initiated it but i promise it's okay
your eyes almost fell out of your head when you read that 2 weeks ago you were talking about how you were in love with him and were and decided to accept that it wasn't going to happen. now you're hearing that at the same time they had broken up? It seemed odd and... bittersweet. 
oh no i'm sorry kou :(
you bit your lip as you couldn't help but ask.
wdym you initiated it tho?
so kageyama has been killing it as our setter especially with his quick attack move with hinata 
rei was worried that i wasn't being treated fairly bc i'm a senior and vice-captain and all that. i tried to reassure them that i just want to see our team thrive and go to nationals but they still were worried about it and would talk about how they would go to games and never see me play once
it's been hard especially that it happened right before the seijoh game and now before finals
yeah i'm sure it's been difficult 
but don't beat yourself don't blame yourself so much! the team needs your support just as much as it needs players. nobody could replace that :)
thanks y/n :) i appreciate you so much
although you thought you would be happy, you can’t help but still feel weird about this whole thing. you felt like the ball was in your court but your bum arm couldn’t receive it properly. your feelings for him had been strong and you felt like you had to pack them all the way so now it just felt wrong to let them flow out again. but now that there was no conflict of interest, did you have to hide your feelings? 
it was more complicated than it was before. you didn't know how anything was going to play out at all and that kinda scared you. you did know one thing though, and that was how to be a loyal friend to suga because that's all you ever were from the start and that's what you could and would be for the future.
-
it was the friday before the finals game. 
you decided to stay late after school to maximize your focus on studying. it seemed to have worked because the sun was going down before you knew it. you wanted to get ahead on work so you could go to the game tomorrow. you and suga had been talking more recently and while it wasn’t as much as it used to be, it was more than it had been in the past several months. 
you quickly gathered up your things and left school for the night. the pretty orange and pink sky lit your way home through the quiet town and into the residential parts. at that point, the dark had met and light and-
“y/n! hey, wait!”
you turned to see none other than suga, jogging up behind you to catch up. you smiled at his sudden presence, looking past him to see the small group of the rest of the team. 
“hey! funny seeing you here.”
“yeah, haha,” he chuckled, catching his breath from suddenly running a considerable distance. “are you going home?”
“yeah.”
“can i walk with you?”
“of course.”
great! so i’m guessing you stayed late at school? you’re still wearing your uniform.”
“oh, yeah,” you affirmed, looking down at your monotonous outfit. “i just wanted to be all caught up on work and studying so i could go to the game tomorrow.”
“oh, yeah? that’s good to hear! yeah, we were-- we just had a late practice. coach left before us but we wanted to stay a little longer.”
“i hope you guys win tomorrow, it seems like you’ve been working really hard.”
“yeah, i hope so too. we’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time, it just feels like we can’t stop now.” 
you nodded in agreement. there was a beat of silence just then, and while it wasn’t awkward, it felt like something was lingering in the air.
“so, um,” he spoke up after several seconds. his eyes met yours and you felt that pang in your chest again, quickly looking away. “it’s been a while, huh?”
“yeah. yeah, it has, i guess,” you laughed lightly. you reached the intersection with the never-ending blinking stoplight and you turned around to face him.
“but i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”
“yeah. yeah!”
“okay, get some sleep. goodnight.”
he nodded and you grinned at him before turning around to walk the rest of the way home until his voice stopped you again.
“hey, y/n?”
“yeah, kou?”
he looked down and all around, anywhere but your face.
“i, um, i know things have been kinda weird between for a while but it’s made me realize that i missed you, a lot.”
“yeah, i missed you, too.”
“but it’s also made me realize that i enjoy spending time with you and talking to you. like, even now, just talking to you makes me feel-- i don’t know. it makes me feel at ease like i’m home. and i’d really like to spend more time with you because i, um, i really like you.”
“you, you what?”
“i really like you, sugar.”
in all the ways you had imagined this happening, you never thought that you would feel your face fall to a frown, your heart beating in your ears. something just didn’t sit right with you about it.
“i, i, i don’t know what to say...”
“it’s okay if you don’t! i just wanted to tell you.”
“but why are you telling me this now?”
“do you-- do you not feel the same?”
“no. no! i’ve been wanting to hear you say something like that for so long, it’s just. you broke up with rei not too long ago and-- i don’t know. something isn’t right about it.” you shook your head, unsure of what you were trying to say.
“it’s how i feel,” he shrugged. “i just wanted to tell you and have a good feeling to hold onto to make tomorrow a little easier.”
you looked at him in disbelief.
“oh, so you think you can confess all that to me right before this big game and that i’ll automatically reciprocate those feelings when you just broke up with someone not even a month ago? i’m not a second choice--”
“no, sugar, listen, that’s not how i meant it at all--”
“no sugawara.” those words made him go quiet instantly. you never used his full name, there was always some sort of play on it, so this was serious. 
“maybe that’s not how you meant it, but that’s how i’m taking it. i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how i felt but i wanted to respect your feelings so i didn’t. so please, respect mine. i’m not the good luck charm that you can just confess to and expect that it’ll all be okay. this just isn’t right. i’m sorry, koshi. 
your voice broke as his name left your lips, tears beginning to fall. you didn’t even give him a chance to respond, a rush of adrenaline telling you to quickly turn and get out of there. 
-
you didn’t get much sleep that night. 
it was hard not to think about your conflicted feelings over suga’s confession. you had hoped for that moment for a long time but the timing simply wasn’t right. how funny and ironic is that? you thought your timing was off. maybe you were meant for each other in that way. you couldn’t help but let your feelings get the best of you and you were beginning to become what you feared most from him. you thought he would immediately reject you and make you feel bad about ever saying anything about how you felt. but the roles are reversed and that was the part that blindsided you the most. 
you didn’t think that how you reacted was wrong but you also couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. he just wanted to feel good right before a big game but that backfired right in his face. some might call it karma, but part of you thought he didn’t deserve it. 
the pressure was setting in as the game went into the fifth and final set. what made it worse was kageyama wouldn’t be starting that set, his nose bleeding from the spike he took to the face. suga was genuinely thrilled to be a teacher, a mentor, and a support system for his fellow teammates. he didn’t mind that another, rather talented, setter had joined the team because that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about passing the position over to someone who he thought didn’t deserve it. 
he almost forgot he was actually a player on the team when everyone looked to him to fill in. this was his moment and it just happened to be at the most overwhelming part of this game. Both teams were tired while simultaneously running on pure adrenaline to see who was going to come out on top. 
suga had an opportunity, not only to start the set but be the trailblazer for their success. 
the nerves set in as he held up the paddle with the number nine on it, kageyama holding it up with him for a moment. It was symbolic in a way. suga always thought he’d be passing the baton to him, his successor as karasuno’s official setter, but this felt just as sentimental. Suga hadn’t played much this season but he got to watch the team grow into something that it once was: something great. They’ve had their share of loss and strife but it finally seemed like they had come so far and the only direction they can go is up. 
the nerves set in as he looked around, anywhere to ease them. His eyes automatically went to the team banner, black with the simple word ‘fly’ written over it, where all the school and their supporters were watching. he went down the line quickly but the wave of a hand caught his eye. his eyes shifted back and felt that familiar grin on him.
it was you. 
“c’mon suga! You can do it!”
and so he did. 
once the final ball hit the ground, the room was quiet with shock. it had been tight for most of the game but no one really expected this outcome. they were going to nationals. daichi, suga, and asahi embraced, taking in the satisfying feeling of victory. 
after the awards ceremony, you were buzzing with excitement for them, trying to calmly follow the rest of the crowd out of the gym. you could tell they were somewhere along the hallway as another crowd formed to congratulate the winning team. you weaved in and out of it, even getting on your toes to see if you could spot a familiar head of gray hair. 
you finally caught a glance at him from afar, his smile growing as his eyes locked onto yours.
“y/n!”
you mimicked his expression and found your feet moving quicker than your brain could process. he put in the same amount of haste to meet you in the middle. you both stopped at about an arm’s length away from each other. his flushed cheeks and slightly red but glistening eyes held your smile as you decided to speak first. 
“hey, kou.”
“hey, sugar.”
another minute couldn’t be wasted as you finally crashed into one another. it felt better to hold somebody that you knew and genuinely loved. you could be sure that he felt the same way as he held your body tightly against him. 
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enbyprentiss · 3 years
Text
Roommates
Genre: fluff, i guess? maybe some angst if you squint.
Spencer x Fem!Reader
(Y/N and Spencer are in college but he's aged up so they're both 18. italicized is Spencer's thoughts)
CW: implied roofie (nothing bad happens)
Part ll (contains smut)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our college has coed dorms. Which could be very unfortunate for some girls. However, I somehow was blessed with the beauty of a human that is Spencer Reid. He's a genius, a germaphobe, a bit of a loner but I'm cool with that--you get the idea, just overall a pretty dope kid. I always felt kinda bad whenever I stumbled into our dorm after parties, clearly drunk off my ass but always tried not to wake him up. I usually did though. Oops. We got along pretty well from the start. Despite what people might think about the lanky boy, he's actually quite funny. Ok, well not many people around here would understand his humor. But I do, and I love it. I was able to get him to break out of his shell a little bit, mostly by introducing him to my friends. We were both chemistry majors which is nice. Mostly because when I get stuck he's willing to spend hours explaining until I understand.
"Hey, Spence.", I walked into our room after my lecture. He didn't respond. He just stood there wide-eyed, "Are you....ok?", it wasn't until that moment that my brain processed what I was seeing. Spencer was standing there in just his boxers, not that I thought that was a big deal but, "Oh! I'm sorry--do you want me to um leave? I--"
He still didn't respond, just shrugged in a panic, "I'm sorry! I'll leave!", I called back as I closed the door behind me.
"Y/N, you can come back in now.", he cracked the door open behind me. Honestly, I didn't even realize I was still standing there.
"I'm really sorry, Spence."
"It's ok. Could've been worse."
I giggled at what he was implying while leaning against my bunk, "Well, we should probably go grocery shopping because I don't know if I can handle more dining hall food."
"Yeah, ok."
"Can I borrow a sweater?", he nodded turning towards his dresser to get one. Not necessary, as I had already taken the one that was laying on his bed.
"Why would you wear that one? It smells like me.", he laughed.
"Yeah, that's why I want it.", poor thing is so clueless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was disoriented. Not like drunk. Well, yes I was drunk. But it was something more than that. My legs felt wobbly. My vision felt blurry. I could barely keep my eyes open. Something just felt...wrong. So, I did the only thing that seemed to make sense.
"Hello?", he sounded tired.
"Sp--Spencer?"
"Y/N, are you ok?", Spencer sat up more on the other line. It wasn't rare for Y/N to call him when she was out but he always worried when she did.
"I--I don't...think so.", he could hear her words were coming out slurred and in between heavy breaths.
"What do you mean?", he tried not to sound panicked, not wanting to worry her more.
"I think....I think someone might've--slipped something into my drink."
"Can you walk?"
"I-I don't know!"
"Hey, don't panic, ok?"
"Yeah--yeah...ok."
"Do you know where you are?"
"The bar down the street."
"Ok, just--hold on. Don't talk to anyone.", he hung up quickly. Walking down the stairs and starting Y/N's car. Spencer found her sitting on the curb with her head in her hands, "Y/N?"
I looked up at him the best I could and I could feel the tears in my eyes well, "It's ok. I promise.", he put his hand out to pull me up and swung my arm over his shoulder, "Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"It sounds crazy, but I need you to throw up ok?", I nodded, "I'm sorry.", he whispered as he stuck his fingers in my mouth to make me gag. It worked.
It hurt Spencer seeing her like this. Panicked, confused, and hurting.
He swept me off my feet, carrying me into the car and handing me a water bottle.
"Don't drink it that fast, you might choke."
Spencer threw me over his shoulder and carried me into our room. If I wasn't so disoriented, I probably would've been surprised by his strength. He poured me a cup of pedialyte before sitting next to me on my bed to make sure I didn't fall forward or hit my head on the wall. We sat in silence for a while until words started pouring out of my mouth without me even realizing.
"Have I ever told you how much I love you?"
She doesn't mean that. She's confused.
"Spencer?"
"Yeah?"
"Have I?"
"I-I- - no, but you don't mean that. There's this thing called transference. You think that you love me because I helped you out of what could've been a really bad situation."
"That's gotta be the dumbest thing you've ever said."
What? No, that's a real thing. What if she really did mean it? No. Y/N doesn't like people like me.
"Spencer, I have loved you since the very first week we moved into together."
"R-really?"
"Yes! I don't know how you never caught on. I love everything about you."
"L-like what?"
"Well, first off you have incredible bone structure, the cutest curly brown hair, and doe like eyes. All of which are a huge plus. You're smart and funny without even trying. I like that you dress like you're one of the professors. And that I'm the only person that gets to see you in sweatpants and a hoodie. And that you'll let me wear them too. Even though, I have plenty of my own clothes. The list goes on forever really."
You're being stupid. She won't even remember any of this in the morning.
"Spencer?...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."
"No! It's ok. I just- - I don't think you're gonna remember any of this tomorrow."
"That may be true, but at least you'll finally know how I really feel."
What am I gonna do when she doesn't remember? How am I supposed to keep this all a secret? Does she even want it to be that? Do I tell her? No. That doesn't seem like a good  idea right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up to the sound of the door opening. Spencer came in drying his hair frantically with a towel.
"Oh, hey, Y/N."
"Hi.", I remembered. I remembered everything. And I think he knew I did. What the fuck do I do? Do we talk about it? Do we pretend it didn't happen? I don't think he ever said he loved me back. In fact, I'm pretty sure he didn't believe anything I said.
"Spence, I- -"
"You remember, don't you?"
"Mhm.", I nodded, "I hope you know I meant it. It wasn't just 'transference' or whatever you said."
"Wasn't it?"
Jesus Christ, is he trying to crush my soul?
"Spencer, I know you think that you're just this nerd that everyone makes fun of, but you're not. In fact, quite the opposite. All my friends think that you're cute, you're just shy. And that's ok.", I took a swig of mouth wash and spit it into a cup, "It's one of the many things I love about you."
I think I should tell her. Right? She seems serious. And I think we're already past the point of no return.
"Iloveyoutoo.", he muttered it and said it beyond fast, but I think I got the idea. I still wanted to hear him say it though.
"Hm?"
"I-I-I love you too.", I couldn't help but smile, not to mention his blush was too cute.
I put my hands up but dropped them back down, "I know you have that thing about touch, but can I kiss you?"
"Mhm.", so I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer and placed my lips softly against his. For someone who claimed to have no sexual experience, he was a damn good kisser. And I guess I just happened to be lucky #1.
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bingbong21 · 3 years
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Matenrou 2nd DRB Drama Track Translation, Pt1
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(Buster Bros!!! Drama Track Translation)
Yoo, back at it again with Matenrou! That title is stupidly long so I’m not subjecting us all to that. This portion will cover up until 8:46. 
I’m sure everyone and their grandma has read the full translation someone did on Twitter, but when I was reading through there were some things I didn’t really agree with. It might just be interpreter bias. Anyway, I hope this meets everyone’s expectations like Buster Bros!!! did!
Jakurai: Hey Hifumi-kun.
Hifumi: What up! Please, sit down. I’ll put some tea out.
Jakurai: If it’s not an issue.
Hifumi: Hm?
Jakurai: What’s wrong?
Hifumi: No, it’s nothing.
Doppo: Sorry you went out of your way to come here. This is a good place in case Hifumi and I bother you.
Jakurai: I’ve already finished my work for today so please don’t worry. Speaking of, Doppo-kun.
Doppo: Yes?
Jakurai: Do you know Dr. Yamabushi of Shinjuku’s second largest hospital?
Doppo: Yes, of course. Yesterday I introduced him to a product.
Jakurai: I heard some conversation about you from Dr. Yamabushi.
Doppo: W-Was it bad?
Jakurai: No, it’s actually the opposite.
Doppo: Eh?
Jakurai: He said you were very polite, and that the explanation about how to use the product was wonderful.
Doppo: Aa…r-really?
Hifumi: Heh? That’s super lucky Doppo!
Doppo: Ah, but I’m sure it’s definitely a fluke…
Hifumi: *sigh* That backwards energy isn’t good!
Jakurai: Doppo-kun, this result is because of how you treat the work you do. You should try to acknowledge yourself a little more.
Doppo: I-I-I’ll make an effort to fix it.
Hifumi By the way, Sensei. You had something that you wanted to talk about?
Jakurai: This arrived regarding the Division Rap Battle preliminaries.
Hifumi: It’s already that season?
Doppo: In one month? That’s not a lot of time.
Jakurai: Let’s all do our best.
Hifumi: Hmm…
Jakurai: What is it, Hifumi-kun? You’re staring at my face.
Hifumi: Aah, Sensei.
Jakurai: Hm?
Hifumi: I feel like you’re super unenergetic. Did something happen?
Jakurai: Ahaha, I just can’t compete with Hifumi-kun. As expected of a pro’s job is to pay attention to others.
Hifumi: Sensei, didn’t we talk about this? We’re the team that makes friends with destiny! If you hold things back, it’s gonna interfere with our teamwork. So please talk about whatever it is.
Doppo: I-I also have a little power to offer. I’ll do my best!
Jakurai: Thank you, you two. Let’s say, for example, your loved one was in danger. If you save that person, it would make a lot of people unhappy. What would you do?
Doppo: That’s a really difficult problem huh.
Hifumi: If it were me…I’d save my loved one!
Doppo: I’m the same. For example, if it were Hifumi and Sensei, or my parents and my little brother that were in danger, I think I’d do anything to save them.
Jakurai: Is…that so? I see.
Hifumi: But if it’s Sensei, you can probably save both sides!
Doppo: Even if it’s unfair, Sensei is certainly able to turn it around. That’s what I think.
Jakurai: I’m not a superman you know.
Hifumi: You may say you’re not, but if the people around you think you’re Superman then you’ve already become Superman.
Doppo: People’s evaluations come from the judgements of those around them. Hah…It’s a good example of my company.
Jakurai: So no matter how much I do, I won’t be able to change the evaluations of the people around me. Whether that’s good or bad…I’m glad that I talked with you two.
(Scene shift: Jakurai walking back)
Jakurai: Superman, huh? Yotsutsuji-kun, Hitoya, even Amemura-kun…I have to settle this quickly.
(Scene shift: Doppo’s office)
Ogura: Morning.
Mitsuya: Yo, Kannonzaka!
Doppo: You’re lively this morning huh?
Ogura: You had a pretty significant achievement lately huh?
Doppo: Just by chance. Besides, your achievements are probably better. At any rate, I’ll be in the past soon.
Mitsuya: You’re negative as usual.
Ogura: You put in an amazing effort, so I think you should feel a little more proud.
Mitsuya: That’s right! If you’re putting this much out in under half a year, it’s not weird for money to just appear!
Doppo: Mitsuya…you’re always too busy talking about money.
*door opens*
Ogura: Oh, Balding Boss is coming this way.
Boss: Kannonzaka-kun.
Doppo: W-What is it?
Boss: You are dismissed today.
(Scene shift: Chuohku)
Nemu: The Division Rap Battle Qualifiers will begin. It’s good that the world is excited, but this is the time to become cautious. It’s small, but various places have a rebellion moving, and it’s getting closer. Hm? A rebellion in the North? Honobono-san should’ve taken care of this directly, yet I haven’t received the report. Ha…I’ll have to ask her directly. *dials phone*
Worker: Chouku Criminal Bureau.
Nemu: Thank you for your work. This is Nemu Aohitsugi with the Administrative Inspection Burea. Please connect me to Keitouin-san.
Worker: I’m very sorry. Captain Keitouin is in Shinjuku for other matters.
Nemu: *thinking* Shinjuku..? Is that so? I’ll try again. *hangs up phone*
*Flashback*
Honobono: Eh? Hifumi Izanami? *giggle* I’d be interested in meeting up.
*Flashback ends*
Nemu: I can’t overlook this. We can’t have any problems before the Battle. First, I’ll report this to Ichijiku-san.
(Scene shift: Doppo’s office)
Doppo: Eh? D…Dismissed?
Boss: Right. You are fired. Now get out of here!
Doppo: T-That…R-Reason…Please let me hear the reason!
Boss: Dr. Yamabushi of Shinjuku’s second largest hospital. Do you understand now that I’ve said that?
Doppo: N-No…wh-what’s going on?
Boss: I got contact from Dr. Yamabushi. It appears the equipment that you delivered had dangerous malfunctions! If Dr. Yamabushi hadn’t checked like he does every day, a patient could have been seriously hurt or worse, died! This could have been a serious accident! Such an error is not possible at the manufacturing plant. In other words, the only one who could have tampered with the information is you!
Doppo: T-That! I didn’t do anything!
Ogura: Kannonzaka would never do such a thing!
Mitsuya: That’s right! I think you should investigate this properly!
Boss: Shut up! You’re planning on defending this brainless, good for nothing, piece of trash human?! Return to work quickly! No more fooling around with this space debris criminal!
Doppo: W…Why…Why did this happen…
(Scene shift: Chuohku)
Ichijiku: Enter!
Otome: It’s been a while, Jinguji-san.
Jakurai: It’s been a while, Prime Minister
Otome: Now then, I’m ready to receive your reply.
Jakurai: I…
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taehyungs-perm · 4 years
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strawberry girl pt 5
taehyung x reader; college au; childhood best friends to lovers au; jock!fratboy taehyung
genre: fluff; major angst lol
word count: 16k
summary: i can pretend i don’t miss you. i can pretend i dont care. all i want to do is kiss you. what a shame you’re not here.
Part 1 here ; Part 2 here; part 3 here; part 4
playlist vibes
fuck it i love you | lana del ray 
still with you | jk
la vie en rose | edith piaf 
the remedy of a broken heart | xxxtentacion 
cant help falling in love with you | kina grannis 
sweet night | v
cherry hill | russ
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All of the days had pretty much begun to blend together. There was no difference between morning and night. You just sat in your room, shades drawn, binging TV shows and movies. After the first night, you began to cry in random spurts. It would go a bit something like this: you would be staring at the cereal swirling in the milk and burst into tears because your heart would just seize up in pain; you would focus on the spinning of your ceiling fan before you would realize the tears were spilling out of your eyes; you would tear up as you scrolled through your camera photos just to see his face. Every ounce of your being missed him but there was no way in hell you could face him, not after that night. 
You had blocked his number when he began to text and call you after a week. You had hoped he would never contact you, but that wasn’t the case. 
Tae: hey
Tae: can we talk
Tae: I’m sorry 
Tae: can we stay friends 
Tae: missed call (5)
Tae: why r u ignoring me
Tae: u fucked it up
Tae: not me
Tae: I’m sorry that was uncalled for
Tae: can we talk 
Tae: pls 
Every time his name popped up on your phone screen, you felt like throwing your phone against the wall. It was after a few days of this when you realized you couldn’t take it anymore. You just wanted him out of your life. It became much easier to deal with the pain once you weren’t bombarded by messages from him.
You laid on your bed, with Gossip Girl mindlessly playing in the background, thinking about him. Before the break started, you and Taehyung talked about all of the things you wanted to do since this was the first time in a long time where it would be you two alone at home: have picnics, go ice skating, watch movies all night. All of that, gone to shit. Just cause you fucking had to tell him about your feelings. 
Your mom had enough of you lying in your bed all day and forced you to get out of your room. It just ended up with you lying on the living room couch all day instead. You had just gotten a copy of “Freedom is a Constant Struggle” by Angela Davis but you felt like your brain was mush and couldn't bring yourself to read it. One morning, your parents tried convincing you to come shopping and get some fresh air but you felt like you had no energy to do so. You laid on the couch, face squished on a pillow, curled up in a blanket, completely not comprehending the episode of gossip girl you had switched on. The doorbell rang and you groaned, barely shifting, not wanting to answer the door. The doorbell rang again and you rolled off the couch, annoyed. You tried peering through the side window to see who was at your door bothering you. Then you heard loud rapid knocks. Ugh who the fuck is knocking at my door and why aren’t they leaving? 
You reluctantly opened the door, still wrapped in your blanket, completely prepared to yell at whoever was annoying the shit out of you, but when you saw him standing there, every thought in your head completely disappeared, your heart completely dropping. 
Your voice broke, “Taehyung?”
He looked at you, peering at your eyes behind his shaggy curly strands of hair, shivering in his jacket and sweatpants, “__________”. His voice was shaking, as if he was scared.
You wanted to slam the door on his face, but the way his big brown eyes were staring at you, full of innocence, you knew you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. You couldn’t help but wonder, did he not get the message? And why does he even want to talk to you? 
“What do you want?” you asked, sternly. 
“Can we talk? please?”
“Taehyung, please, leave me alone. please.” You tried to close the door but he stepped forward and held the door open with his hand.
“You blocked my number. I can't even contact you anymore. Can I just have this at least? Can we just talk once more?” he pleaded. His eyes were filled with a sadness that you couldn’t quite understand. You desperately just wanted to reject him just like he did to you, but you couldn’t. He was and always would be your weakness. Seeing him, standing here in front of you, doe eyed and heartbroken because of your actions made you hate yourself even more. You would rather have your heart broken a thousand times than to see him in pain. 
“Okay. we can talk,” you whispered softly. 
You didn't want to let him in though. You just leaned on the doorframe, staring at him as the wind sent shivers up your spine. 
“Why are you ignoring me again? I told you not to do that. Ignoring me doesn’t do anything.”
“I needed space. And I still do.”
“Space from me?” he stepped closer to you. His closeness made you uneasy. You glanced up into his eyes, and there were stone cold seriousness. You hadn’t seen Taehyung like this in a while. For all the talk of you thinking Taehyung was adorable and cute, he could be just as intimidating. The look in his eyes made you almost scared. 
“Yes.” you breathed out, trying to match his serious tone.
“Are you mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you, just at myself…because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.”
“I'm sorry.”
“There's nothing to be sorry about. It's just I should have known better. It's what happens to people like me. And this is why I don’t let myself fall in love.”
“___________ don't let this ruin you. Don’t let me fuck up everything you believed in. You’ll fall in love again.”
“Taehyung. I’ve been in love with you for years. I just never had the guts to say it. I dunno if I'll fall in love again because my heart belongs to you. I didn’t choose to give it to you and it fucking kills me to admit it,” you felt tears welling up in your eyes. Your voice began to crack, shaking from the tears, “but my heart is yours and you don’t even want it.”
Taehyung had been staring at the ground, scared to make eye contact with you. But once you said those words, he looked up at you, his eyes trembling, “_________ I like you. okay? Please don't forget that. You're my best friend.”
You looked deep into his eyes and shook your head softly, “Taehyung, Stop looking at me like you want me because we both know you don’t. I know you don’t feel the same way, but I wish you did.” 
“_______ I told you, I just don't know right now. I just don't know how I feel about you but maybe if you give me time I could fi-“
You cut him off, not wanting to hear any bullshit, “Don’t fuck with my feelings just because you’re unsure of yours. I didn’t mean to fall in love but I did. And you didn’t mean to hurt me but you did. Try to understand how I feel.”
Taehyung took another step towards you, his hand came up to your face, resting on your cheek as he wiped a falling tear, “Why do you need space from me? Why do you need to cut me off completely?”
You pushed his hand away, feeling annoyed at his words. All of this was bullshit. Taehyung doesn’t care about you. He broke your heart and he was just acting now. He just pretends to care but really he doesn’t give a shit about you. 
You furrowed your eyebrows in anger, “I just want to fucking get over you okay? Like Taehyung, you have no idea what you do to me. The way my heart goes completely erratic. The way that one look from you is all that I need to smile. I can’t think around you. Because all I think about it is you. I don’t think...I’m capable of being just friends with you. At least not for a long time. Maybe that’s selfish but that’s all I’m asking of you. I’m not asking you to love me because I know you can’t do that. So just give me space.”
He was quiet, not saying a single word. You sighed out your last few thoughts, “You don’t love me the way I love you. And I know you never will. And that’s okay. But understand that just being friends with you and seeing you everyday is a reminder that you don’t love me.”
Taehyung scoffed, kicking his foot against the door frame, “Why did you do that? Why did you have to tell me your feelings? Why did you fuck it up?”
Your lip trembled. You already felt like shit, like the biggest idiot on the planet for thinking he could love you back, and now he was just shoving your mistakes right back in your face, “Why did you kiss me? You keep saying I fucked it up! I didn’t, you did! If you just didn’t fucking kiss me, then this wouldn’t have happened. So why the fuck did you kiss me?”
He took a step back, shocked at your outburst. His voice faltered, coming out weak and soft, “I..I..I dunno. I don’t know.” 
You scoffed, “You want me in your life, but I can’t do that. You’re asking too much of me. You’re asking me to pretend these feelings I have for you are insignificant. Something that can be stored away as if they didn’t matter. But it did matter. To me.” You stepped towards him, feeling a bit reckless but fuck it right? you had nothing else to lose. you just wanted the truth from him. You asked, your voice icy, “Do I even matter to you?”
He looked at you, confused, “Of course you matter to me. You're my everything.”
You couldn't help but let out a cold laugh, “The things you say sometimes make me feel like I actually have a chance with you, but then I snap back to reality and realize I never really did.”
Taehyung looked at you with defeated eyes. You looked at him and saw that he knew he had done things and said things that he couldn’t take back. 
His eyes were now puffy and bloodshot. His voice croaked, “So where does this leave us? We go back to ignoring each other? You pretend I don't exist and I do the same to you?”
You sighed as you walked back to your front door. you turned to look at him before you shut the door close, “It's for the best Taehyung.”
You closed the door, not waiting to see if he had left your porch. You sat on the ground, back against the door as tears collected in your eyelashes. You know you really love someone when you don’t hate them for breaking your heart
———————————————————————————————————
You left later than planned, purposefully just so you could avoid traveling with Taehyung or even running into him by accident on campus. When you got back to school, Hana was out with Jungkook so you began to unpack, trying to distract yourself. You had told her a little bit about what happened, that you told him how you felt but he didn't reciprocate. You definitely made it seem you weren’t as torn up about it as you actually were, avoiding her FaceTime calls so she couldn’t see your bloodshot eyes. 
You slumped on your bed, scrolling through an academic paper you were attempting to read for class but you couldn’t focus. His fucking smile, his fucking laugh, his fucking curly hair, it was all swimming in your mind and you couldn’t stop thinking about him. 
You felt your eyes well up with tears and shut your laptop. You laid down on your bed and buried yourself in your blankets. You drifted off to sleep, exhausted from being so emotionally drained. 
You jolted awake when you felt a hand on your shoulder. 
“__________.”
“Whatttt?” You groaned as rolled over and saw Hana sitting on the edge of your bed. You rubbed your eyes and broke out into a smile when you saw your roommate, “Hana!”
She gave you a hug and gave you a concerned look, “How are you?”
You felt your words get caught in your throat, immediately feeling tears well up in your eyes, “I’m okay. Dunno why I can/t stop crying.” 
Hana rubbed your shoulder soothingly, “You just lost one of your best friends. Your heart got completely broken. It’s okay to cry __________.”
“I’m so fucking stupid. I wish I didn't give him this power to hurt me,” you whispered softly.
“Hey, it's okay ___________. I'm so proud of you. You worked up the courage to tell him how you feel. And what you feel matters, so you shouldn’t feel bad about it, okay?”
You shook your head. You couldn’t even explain your heartbreak to Hana. Because she wouldn’t understand. You wouldn’t wish this kind of pain on anyone. Unrequited love doesn’t just make you feel sad. It breaks you down. It preys on your deepest insecurities and leaves you hollow and empty. Because in the end, it was you. You were the problem, you were the reason why it didn’t work out. It's not even that he was in love with someone else. It was simply that he didn't love you. 
Hana spoke cautiously, “What exactly did he say when you told him?”
You tried to recall but your mind was a bit foggy as you tried to mentally block out that day, “Um, well he said he doesn’t love me that way. And that he was confused about his feelings.”
“He said he was confused?”
“Yea,”
“Hmm. it's a weird word choice but…”
“But what?”
“Im sorry ___________. I'm going to be honest with you, just so it doesn’t hurt more later. When a guy says they’re confused, they probably don't have feelings at all and are just trying to be nice. That's the only thing not complicated about them. If a guy likes a girl, he won’t hide it and say he is confused.”
“I’m fucking crazy to think he was into me” you said, tears slowly rolling down your cheeks.
“Do you still love him?” 
“Yea”
“How much?” 
“Why does it matter?” You retorted coldly, staring at your blankets.
She responded in a soft tone, “Why does it not?” 
You met her eyes, “Because he doesn’t love me back” 
“If you still love him, then you can't be around him right now. But you shouldn’t regret your feelings towards him. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but you’ll get through this.”
You fiddled with your hands, trying to steady your breathing, “It’s unfathomable. I can’t possibly envision a future with him loving me the way I want him to. But I can't get rid of this feeling, that somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that he’ll fall for me.  It’s pathetic really, how much I still hope it’s him and me in the end.”
She put her arm around your shoulder, pulling you into her embrace, “It's not pathetic. You love him, its okay to want him. But I promise you, you’ll get through this, and I'll be there for you the entire time. You are such an amazing person, you are kind and smart and if he can’t see that, then fuck him.”
you laughed humorlessly, “Thanks Hana.” You paused and then whispered hoarsely, “I wish love was perfect as love itself.”
“it will be. Once you find the one. It will all feel so easy and natural when you find your actual love.”
It was silent for a few moments and then she looked at your puffy eyes, “Are you feeling better?”
You sniffled and nodded, “I’ll be fine.”
“How do you know that?” she asked seriously. 
You glanced at the window, seeing the rain droplets slide down the window pane, “Because my whole life I’ve been in love with someone who doesn’t love me back. It’s nothing new.”
“Boys are fucking stupid” Hana said, shaking her head.
“So fucking stupid.” 
———————————————————————————————————
Hana did her best to keep you distracted, walking with you to class, eating meals with you, hanging out with you on the weekends, always going to the library with you. Jungkook tagged along most of the time but only after Hana asked you if it was okay. Seeing Jungkook did remind you of Taehyung, but his presence didn't bother you too much since he was always cracking jokes to make you smile. 
You didn't see Taehyung around campus at all. It was like he was a ghost, completely gone from your life. It almost made it worse because then you yearned to see him, just to see his cute smile, to hear his adorable laugh. You missed his annoying headass personality that made your heart flutter, you missed the way you could talk to him about anything and everything because he actually listened, you missed being the person he could trust the most to talk to about his feelings. 
Sometimes you got these heart aches, you could physically feel yourself falling apart at the seams. And it just hurt. It hurt to breathe, to think, to feel. And you didn’t know what hurt the most: The fact that he wasn’t in your life anymore and you won’t ever see his doe eyes and boxy smile again or the fact that you weren’t enough for him and that you’ll never be enough for him. 
 The pain of him just not being in your life was worse than you could ever imagine. Then, that combined with the realization your love was unrequited made you feel like you weren't ever going to get through this. 
You sat on the first floor of the library with Hana, working through some biology worksheets to prepare for class. Hana was talking to you about the new boba place on campus, “They have the best green milk tea.”
“Damn I miss boba. I haven’t had it in so long.”
“Lets go right after this. They have a bunch of flavors.”
You nodded, feeling weirdly excited for just boba. 
“Hi” you heard a voice say.
You looked up and saw Jennie. 
“Hi?” you said, very confused. 
She smoothed out her pink tennis skirt and sat down on the seat next to you, “Can we talk?”
“About?”
“Him.”
You glanced at Hana, who was also clearly uncomfortable. You really didn't want to talk to her about Taehyung but Hana gave you a small nod.
“Fine.”
Jennie looked at Hana uneasily, “Can we talk alone?”
You crossed your arms defensively, “Anything you have to say to me, Hana can hear it too.”
Hana put her hand on your shoulder reassuringly, “It’s okay. You should talk to her alone. I'll be by the vending machines in the back. Come and find me when you're done talking.”
She got up after giving you a smile.
You sighed deeply, facing Jennie, “So what’s up?”
“What happened? With you and Taehyung?”
“That's literally none of your business. Did he tell you something?”
She looked concerned, “No. Well. Kinda. Not really. After we all got back to campus, Taehyung didn't text me or call me. Which is strange because he usually calls or texts around every two weeks or so to hook up. But once we got back, he didn't respond to any of my messages. So I went over to his dorm.”
“And?”
“And he looked like shit. Like he hadn't slept or showered or eaten properly. I tried asking him what happened but he just told me to leave and not to come back. I ran into Jimin on the way out. He said you two had a falling out and Taehyung has been a wreck since. Tae has barely left his room, only for school and soccer and thats with Jimin and his other friends forcing him to.”
What? What was going on with him? Was he really this affected by your friendship? That didn't make any sense you guys had only recently become friends. Surely he could easily just resume his lifestyle to when you guys weren’t close. 
You looked at Jennie, “I told him that I loved him. And he said he didn’t love me. I said we couldn’t be friends, at least not for a while. I guess he didn't take it well.”
You thought Jennie would just laugh in your face or say “I told you so”, but she didn't. She pulled you into a side hug, “Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I’m sorry. I know how it feels.”
“Did you ever tell him how you felt?”
She laughed softly, “I didn’t. I was too scared. I knew he would reject me. I guess I was scared of losing him, even just as a fuck buddy. So I just quietly pined over him from a distance.”
You chuckled, “You and me both.”
“I kinda admire that you had the guts to tell him how you felt. If he didn't have feelings for you, there's no possible way he ever liked me.”
You scoffed, “I'm sure he has feelings for you. You're so beautiful. And nice. And pretty. There's no way he didn't like you.”
“__________, you know you're beautiful too. I was actually always jealous of you.”
You were completely shocked, “Jealous of me?”
“Yes! No matter where we were, you could always get Taehyung's attention without even trying. I had to literally climb on top of him to get him to even think about me. Sorry about that by the way.”
“You don't have to be sorry about that. It's not a big deal. Honestly boys are so fucking stupid. I don't know why we let him use us and hurt us so much.”
“Exactly. I hope...we can be friends. Like for real.”
You nodded, “I'm sorry too. I was kinda a bitch to you.”
“Like you said, it's not a big deal. that's all in the past.” 
Jennie got up and smiled at you. She paused for a moment, looking at you carefully, “By the way, you mean a lot to Taehyung. I know you're upset at him right now but maybe you can consider being friends with him in awhile.”
She stalked away leaving you in your thoughts. It was still too soon. But you felt better. Some of your sadness that you felt for yourself went away, transforming into a sort of anger and annoyance at Taehyung: he used girls like you and Jennie all the time and would play with their feelings just so he could feel good about himself. Fuck boys. 
———————————————————————————————————
You were sitting on the picnic benches near the soccer field like how you used to do, but now Taehyung doesn’t come and sit next to you. The peacefulness of being outdoors allowed you to finally focus on your work without any distractions. As you were studying your statistics homework, you heard someone call your name. You looked up and it was Jimin's smiling face.
“Hey ___________!”
“Hey” you said quietly. You were a bit surprised to see Jimin talking to you. You kinda figured whatever friendship you two had was gone once you and Taehyung stopped talking.
“Are you doing the stats homework?” He said walking over to you, both his backpack and soccer bag slung over his shoulder.
“Um yea,” you said, shifting uneasily. Why was he talking to you? If he was here to talk about Taehyung, you were going to get up and leave. You really weren’t emotionally or mentally prepared to talk about him with one his closest friends.
“I was actually having some trouble with the assignment. Could you help me with it?” He said, dropping his bags on the picnic table.
“Uh sure I guess,” you mumbled out as he sat next to you. Jimin gave you his signature beautiful smile and you felt terrible because all you could offer was your half hearted one. He pulled out his notes and you began to help him with a few of his questions. 
Being around Jimin was actually immensely helpful. He successfully distracted you with his cute jokes and charming personality. After about an hour or so, you realized you should be heading back to your dorm so you stood and began to pack up your things. 
“___________?”
“Yeah?”
“I was wondering...” he looked a bit nervous, giving you a shy smile, “I was wondering if you want to get dinner together tomorrow?”
You blinked. Was Park Jimin asking you out? What? What the fuck was going on?
“You want to get dinner...with me?” You asked, confused.
He laughed, “Yes I want to. Do you want to...with me?”
Was this a prank or something? Did he want something from you? 
“Wait is this like a study dinner thing with a group?” You asked, very unsure.
Jimin chuckled again as he ran his hand through his brown hair, “No _________, this isn’t a study dinner thing with a group. I want to get dinner with just you with no studying involved.”
You fiddled with the end of your hair, trying to process what he was saying, “Is this a date or...” 
“It can be whatever you want. It can be two friends getting food together or it can be something more.”
“Jimin...I dunno. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea” you said, thinking of Taehyung.
He put his hand gently on your shoulder, “If you’re upset about Taehyung, I get it. But that’s why I said it can be two friends hanging out.”
You thought about it and pursed your lips. Why do I give a fuck about what Taehyung thinks? He made it clear that we are just friends and that he has no feelings for me. Honestly we aren’t even friends anymore so I don’t give a fuck about what he thinks.
You slung your bag over your shoulder and smiled at Jimin, “You know what? You’re right. We can hang. Just text me later.” 
You wanted to feel confident and happy that you were trying to move on and make plans with people instead of laying in your dorm room bed all day but there was still a nagging feeling of hurt and longing in your heart that didn’t know would ever disappear.
———————————————————————————————————
You wanted to feel the same butterflies you always felt whenever you saw Taehyung, but as you stepped out of your dorm and saw Jimin leaning against his black Audi, wearing sunglasses and a black tee tucked into black skinny jeans, you didn’t feel anything.
He smiled at you, “Hey __________. You look cute.” Again, nothing.
“Thanks. You look pretty good yourself.” You retorted playfully. 
He opened the car door for you and you sat in the car, immediately getting flashbacks to Taehyung's birthday party and how he took you for a joyride in this very car. You smoothed out your black pleated skirt and picked at your leggings hoping you would get distracted and not reminisce over the happiness you felt sitting in this car with Taehyung. 
You and Jimin chatted quietly about your days and your classes before you realized he had parked in front of a small restaurant.
“I actually have been meaning to go here for a while, but never found the time. Or the right person to go with,” Jimin said with a teasing smile as you walked into the restaurant.
Sometimes you would forget that Jimin was just as much as a fuckboi as Taehyung except with more braincells but then he would tease you, just like Taehyung used to, with flirty jokes and seductive smiles and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his antics.
As you slurped on your ramen noodles, you found that you and Jimin had more in common than you realized. 
“You watch Gossip Girl?” you said widening your eyes when he lit up at your off hand comment about re binging the show over break.
“Of course! Nate is my literal inspiration!” he exclaimed with a huge smile.
“Nate?” you thought about it for a moment and then continued, “Actually, he’s definitely the least problematic one out of everyone in the show.”
“And…he definitely has the best style.” Jimin added as he sipped his water.
you talked a bit about his winter break and his adventures in europe. 
“So did you go with your family or..” you asked, curious.
“I went with some friends from home. I wanted to get some of the BTS guys to go with me but we decided to go on a group trip for spring break.” 
“Where did you go in Europe?”
“Um, I went to England, then France, then Germany.”
“Oh wow. that's a lot of places,” you commented, a bit surprised since break was only two weeks.
“I dunno. I think traveling is such a great way to relax I guess. Going to new places and experiencing new cultures with friends.”
“That's valid. I guess in my head traveling gives me stress. So did you go sight seeing or just kinda wandered around the city?”
He chuckled, a light blush coming to his cheeks, “Uh, kinda, I guess.”
You wrinkled your eyebrows, not understanding why he was getting flustered, “What? What did you do?”
He ran his hand through his hair, catching a glimpse at how silky his dark brown locks were, “Well, it was like 25 percent sightseeing historical buildings.”
“And the other 75 percent?”
“Sightseeing night clubs” he said laughing.
“So you went to Europe to go to clubs?” you said trying to stifle your laughs.
“In my defense, European clubs are way different so there’s that.”
You raised your eyebrows at him, “And?”
“And what?” he said leaning forward on his arms.
“What about the European girls?”
“Oh fuck off,” Jimin said, averting his eyes and laughing.
“What else should I expect from Park Jimin? European vacation for clubbing and girls.”
“Dude, you make me sound like I'm Chuck Bass,” Jimin countered, his face a complete shade of pink, fully embarrassed at your teasing.
After you two paid for your meals, Jimin walked you over to a cute little cafe next door. You excitedly picked out a slice of strawberry cake, desperately wanting something comforting after feeling alone for the past month while Jimin ordered a coffee. You tried to pay for your own cake but of course Jimin wouldn’t hear of it and paid for it, insisting it was the “gentlemanly” thing to do (you had to roll your eyes at this). 
You two made your way to a picnic table in front of the restaurant, sitting underneath the bright fairy lights hung up outside, giving just enough light in the darkness of the night. He sat across from you, sipping his coffee. You opened up the box that contained the cake and smiled, remembering the good memories you had attached with it. You brushed your hair behind your ear and took a bite.
You offered some to him which he accepted.
“___________, I'm not sure if you want to talk about this yet, but I just wanted to ask how you are doing? Like for real?”
You sighed. You figured he was going to ask you about this at some point tonight, “Okay I guess. I mean not great but i'm going on. It’s whatever I guess” 
“It's not whatever. I'm really sorry that happened to you. It hurts, doesn’t it?”
You nodded softly and whispered out, “It does.” 
You were scared to ask but you knew you couldn’t go home tonight without asking Jimin, “How is he?”
He set his coffee on the table, “Not good. He misses you. A lot.”
Your heart broke at his words. You wished he just told you that Taehyung didn't give a shit. That he was doing great and that he was still fucking Jennie and didnt even notice that you weren’t in his life anymore. 
Part of you didn't believe his words, “Nah. I'm sure he’s fine.”
“No __________ he isn't. He doesn’t go out anymore. He just goes to class and soccer practice. That's it.”
You closed your eyes, processing what Jimin was saying. Why is he so upset? He broke your heart. He made you cry. He made you feel worthless so why is he acting like this? 
“Does he know you’re hanging out with me tonight?”
“Uh no. But I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. You said this was just as friends so there’s no reason for me to tell him and have him get all worked up about it,” Jimin said, shrugging his shoulders. 
You nodded, resting your hands on the picnic table, trying to take deep breaths to calm your nerves.
He stood up and sat next to you, his legs touching yours. He reached over and took your hands in his, “I don't know why he’s so torn up about this whole situation, especially since he broke your heart. I tried telling him that you need space and that it's completely fair of you to not want to be friends for now but he always dodges the conversation. I'll try talking to him again.”
Your voice cracked as you looked at Jimin, Thank you. For being a good friend. For listening to me. For caring about me.”
He put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his embrace, “Of course. I just really want you and Taehyung to be okay. Both of you are my friends and I care about you guys a lot.” 
Jimin dropped you off at your dorm and told you to call him if you ever needed anything. You gave him a weak smile and went back to your room, feeling slightly okay.
You laid on your bed and checked Instagram since you hadn’t looked at it in a while. You noticed Jimin had something recently posted which was kinda odd because he rarely posted on his Instagram story and you were just with him. You clicked on his story and your eyes widened when you saw it was a picture of you captioned with a single purple heart. 
It was a photo he took of you sitting across from him at the picnic table. You were smiling at the strawberry cake in front of you. You couldn’t clearly see your face since your hair was somewhat covering it but if anyone knew you, it was very obvious. You were worried for a moment that Taehyung would see it before you remembered you two weren’t on speaking terms anymore. Well, its a cute picture and I had a good time with Jimin tonight so who cares? you thought, shrugging your worries away. 
———————————————————————————————————
The next morning, you woke up feeling better than you had in a long time. The weight that you had been dredging around for the past month or so had felt lighter. You grabbed your baking basket and some strawberries from your fridge, finally feeling the excitement to bake in a long time. You also wanted some time to think; a lot had changed since you came back home from break and you wanted to properly sort out how you were feeling about the whole situation. 
You tied up your hair, and laid out the ingredients to make strawberry muffins. You thought about Jennie as you mixed the flour, baking soda, and salt together. She was hurt too. You never really thought about how she felt in this whole situation, but in her own way, she was dealing with her own personal insecurities. She wanted Taehyung too and you had him in a way she never did. 
You were glad that you two were on friendly terms now because she was a sweet and kind person once you got to actually knowing her. You felt upset at the way Taehyung treated her. He knew her feelings and yet he continued to play with them, just like he played with yours. After hanging out with Jimin, you were also heartbroken to hear that Taehyung’s behavior hadn’t improved. You wanted him to recover just like you were. 
But it seemed like he needed you. And you didn't need him. You wanted him, that was for sure. But you didn’t need him because you were moving on. Each day it was getting easier to breathe and to think clearly. You began to mix the eggs, milk, and vanilla extract into the dry ingredients, slowly stirring as you thought. You paused and realized that you felt empty. Like your heart had finally gone numb. 
As if it were finally exhausted of the roller coaster of emotions you spent with him: anger, jealousy, nervousness, love, happiness. Your heart burned and burned and then suddenly turned to ice. You mixed the chopped up strawberry pieces with flour then added it to the batter. 
It felt nice, not feeling completely overwhelmed with emotions. You thought about what Hana had told you when you came back, that if he couldn’t recognize your worth, then fuck him. And then suddenly you cared even less.  Because the only person’s validation you needed was your own. You evenly divided the batter into 12 equal portions in the muffin tin. You popped the tin into the oven and sat down on the empty chair. 
You didn't need Taehyung's validation, you didn't need his love, to feel complete. You were complete on your own. You still had sadness for him, you still wanted him, but after these past few weeks, you came to the realization that you were enough and that pining and sitting in your room all day, waiting for him wasn’t going to do you any good. You breathed out softly, trying to reassure yourself, “It's going to be fine.”
———————————————————————————————————
“You’ll really come?” Hana asked excitedly.
You were sitting on your bed, relaxing as you attempted to proofread your essay. 
“Ya, I will. I’m not really making any progress with this essay right now. So I'll come.” Hana had been trying to convince you to come to a party all day and you had finally agreed. It had been a while since you went out, especially with the whole situation with Taehyung going on, you rarely left your room. But now, you were feeling much better emotionally and mentally. 
You got ready with Hana, opting for a simple jeans and sweater because it was still cold outside. 
She told you that the party wasn’t at the BTS frat and it calmed your nerves a little. Even though you were feeling better, you didn’t know what you would do if you saw Taehyung. It was still too soon. The wounds he left still hurt. 
“EXO parties are always fucking insane,” Hana raved as you two entered the frat house.
“Why?” you asked curious
“Cuz they rarely have parties but when they do, they go all out.” she said smiling as you looked around. Your eyes widened when you saw a huge tower of beer cans stacked in the middle, a DJ at the front of the house, and several stripper poles.
“What the fuck…” you mumbled as you looked around. 
“Jungkook is here somewhere.” Hana muttered as she led you through the enormous crowd. 
She found Jungkook in the kitchen by drinks, talking with Yoongi and Hobi. The second Jungkook saw Hana he pulled her into a deep kiss. You were really happy for Hana but it stung. Would anyone ever love you like that? You sighed and said hello to Yoongi and Hobi. 
“How is it going _________. Haven’t seen you in awhile.” Hobi said, smiling widely. 
Yoongi elbowed him in the stomach and whispered loudly, “Bro, shut up.”
You laughed awkwardly, “It's okay. I'm fine. just been doing school stuff.”
Yoongi gave you a soft smile, “I'm glad you are doing well. I know it's all complicated but I hope we can all still be friends.”
You nodded, “Of course.”
 Hobi handed you a drink, “Try this.”
You looked in the red solo cup and it was a blue colored drink, “What the fuck is this?”
“There isn’t any alcohol! It's just a blue Hawaiian punch mixed with sprite.”
“That sounds like a heart attack in a cup.” Yoongi said, utterly confused at the combination. 
“I'm telling you, It's good. Try it _________.”
You took a sip and it was very sweet, but not bad tasting. “It's decent. Not terrible,” you said nodding. 
Jungkook came over with Hana wrapped in his hard, “Guys I heard that EXO got strippers for tonight. That’s fucking insane.”
Hana punched his arm and Jungkook exclaimed, “Owww. I never said I was going to do anything about it. Just stating a fact.”
You were laughing at Jungkook’s pure stupidity when someone caught your eye. Your heart stopped. Of course he was here tonight. All his friends were.  You hadn’t seen him since that day on your porch. Then you saw his arm wrapped around her. Then the sadness that was in your heart immediately bloomed into anger. What the fuck? All this fucking talk of not wanting a girlfriend yet he was here with her? 
Hana put a hand on your shoulder, “Do you want to leave? We can go.”
You shook your head, “I'm fine.” 
“I can literally beat his ass right now if you want,” She said aggressively.
Jungkong squeezed Hana’s shoulder, “That's my Hana, lovely and scary.”
You gave her a weak smile, “I'm okay. For real. I just need you to be here for me. Thats all.”
You hadn’t spoken or seen Taehyung since that day on your porch. He looked sad. You could tell. You knew him better than anyone else in your life. He was putting on a mask, pretending like he was happy. But you could see it, the hollowness in his cheeks, the fact that he hadn’t shaved because of all the stubble on his face, his curly hair now long and unruly because he hadn’t gotten a haircut in awhile. He was wearing a simple white shirt tucked into a pair of jeans (unfortunately he still did look hot but you weren’t going to admit that) 
He walked up to you guys with Jennie by his side. He gave you a glance but you didn't meet his eyes, quickly looking away. Jennie gave you a small wave and you returned it. It was kinda ironic because before you would focus on the fact that Jennie was with him but since you guys were friends now, you fixed your annoyance on Taehyung. 
Taehyung and Jennie were talking to the group casually but about five minutes into the conversation, you couldn’t handle it anymore, pretending like everything was fine when it really wasn’t. 
You slowly left the circle and leaned on the drinks table behind your group of friends, exhaling deeply.
Jimin walked over, grinning with his beautiful smile, “Hey”
He leaned against the table, standing right next to you, “Hi”
“Shitty party right?” Jimin said, chuckling.
“It just became shitty” you said, sipping your drink, eyeing Taehyung.
“I don't why he came here with her. He literally hasn’t properly spoken to her or seen her since last semester,” Jimin said sincerely.
“Ya well I don’t give a fuck. He can do whatever he wants. We aren’t even friends anymore,” You said harshly. 
You and Jimin chatted a bit, and you almost forgot your annoyance at Taehyung. Then he walked over, with a stupid smirk on his face, “Excuse me __________ could you move? You’re standing in front of the drinks.”
You glared at him as you sipped your drink cooly, shrugging your shoulders, “Sucks.”
He towered over you, giving you an intimidating stare, slowly biting his lip, “C’mon _______ don’t be a bitch. Just move/”
Jimin stood up straight, “What the fuck did you just say to her?”
Taehyung gave you a cold laugh and raised his eyebrows teasingly, “Wow __________ you really need him to fight your battles?”
You knew that Taehyung was pissed at this point but you wanted to push his buttons further. You spoke in a calm tone, knowing that would make him even more annoyed, “I don’t, but he does have something called manners which is something that you could use.” 
He leaned his face close to yours. You felt his breath tickling your neck as you got a whiff of his cologne, “Aww, I think you’re just salty _________” 
You took a step towards him, not wanting him to get the satisfaction that he could intimidate you, “What could I possibly be salty about?”
Taehyung gave you a cocky smile, “Maybe that I’m here with Jennie. It must sting a little.”
You clenched your jaw. He had stepped over the line now. You knew exactly what he was trying to imply, that he had moved on with her. You were mad because he was once again just using Jennie for his own douchebag reasons. You looked Taehyung directly in the eye and scoffed, “You’re a fucking asshole.” 
He put his hands up defensively, “Calm down _________ no need to make a scene.” 
The amount of anger that flared in you in that moment was unprecedented. You wanted to embarrass him. You wanted to humiliate him. You wanted him to know how you felt right now. 
Then an idea popped in your head. You gave him a small smile and spoke in a sweet, innocent voice, “Oh my gosh you’re right Taehyung. I shouldn’t make a scene.”
Then you dumped your entire blue drink on his white shirt and smiled. Taehyung's eyes widened as he looked at his ruined shirt and Jimin gasped in shock. The second you dropped your drink onto Taehyung, Jennie turned around and laughed at what you did. Taehyung's eyes met yours and you realized you might have gone too far. His eyes were dangerous and dark. But if you were going to be honest, it felt really fucking good to do that. 
You shrugged and said sweetly, “Oops” 
Taehyung growled, “What the fu-“
You crushed the red solo cup you were still clutching against his chest and let it drop to the ground, “Calm down Tae you wouldn’t want to make a scene, right?”
You smirked at him and walked away. You could hear Yoongi and Hobi laughing while Jimin was trying to apologize for your behavior. 
Hana was able to find you on the couch a few minutes later.
She was laughing as she sat down next to you, “___________ that was so fucking hilarious.”
“I knew you would appreciate it.”
“It was good. I thought it was funny.”
You knew something was up because she had a concerned look in her eyes
“But...?” You asked cautiously 
“How long is this going to go on between you and Taehyung?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you guys used to be best friends. Are you guys just going to hate each other from now on?”
“I’m not the one who needs to make amends. He was an asshole to me.”
“Both of you need to make amends. You guys just need to talk. I’m not saying you guys should be besties again or anything but I think you guys need to learn how to be civil with one another. This shit can’t keep happening every time you see each other.”
“I’m not talking to him Hana.” You said forcefully.
She sighed and got up, defeated. After a few minutes she came back with a huge smile.
“Oh my gosh __________ I need to tell you something!” 
“What?”
“We need to go somewhere private. No one else can hear,” She said tugging you from the couch.
You tried asking her questions as she dragged you but Hana wouldn’t budge.
She opened a door that revealed to be a closet and said, “Perfect. Let’s go in here.”
Hana pushed you in the closet and closed the door behind you two.
“Okay what’s going on Hana?”
She glanced at her phone as if she were waiting for a text or something, “oh um so...Jungkook told me that he loves me.”
“Really? Oh my gosh! Well, how do you feel about it?”
“Oh I told him I loved him back.”
“Did you mean it? Do you actually love him?”
“Of course! He’s kinda stupid but he’s so caring and he loves me so much.”
You wrinkled your eyebrows, confused, “Okay so what’s the problem? Why did you drag me into a closet to tell me this?”
Her phone buzzed, “I’ll be right back __________. Jungkook just texted me. Just stay right here, don’t leave.” She said as she left the closet, leaving you in the darkness.
You tapped your foot impatiently wondering what Hana was up to.
You heard hurried, rushed voices and then the door of the closer swung open. You heard a very familiar deep voice exclaim, “What the fuck Jimin? Why are you pushing me Into this closet?” 
The closet door slammed shut. 
You rolled your eyes, “You have got to be fucking with me.”
“___________?” Taehyung asked from the darkness next to you. 
You banged on the door, “Hana I swear to god let me out right now.”
You heard her muffled voice, “No! You guys need to talk!”
Taehyung pounded on the door next to you, “Jimin I’m not fucking around. Open the door. Now.”
Jimin's voice sounded strained, “I’m sorry guys! But this is good for you! You guys need to figure your shit out.”
You sighed, leaning against the door, “I hate both of you.”
Taehyung whispered out hoarsely, breaking the silence “This is your fucking fault.”
You turned to face him, shocked at his accusation, “My fault? How is this my fault? You were the one being a complete douchebag!” 
“You dumped your drink on me!” Taehyung exclaimed, pulling at his now blue stained shirt. 
You stabbed your finger in his chest,“You were the one who was being rude first!”
“You went out with my best friend!” 
You went quiet. What? Is he talking about Jimin? That was a while ago and even so, he has no right to care about who I go out with!
“Are you talking about Jimin?” You asked, annoyed.
“Who else posted you on their story with heart captions?” he scoffed.
“First of all, it's none of your business who I spend my time with. And second, not that it even matters, Jimin and I are just friends.”
He taunted, “Yea I’ve heard that one before.”
“Why the fuck do you even care Taehyung? We aren’t together, we aren’t even friends.”
He paused, trying to think of an answer, “Whatever. I don’t care. Do whatever you want. I just thought you were better than that.”
“Better than what? I'm so confused. I dont get why you are so angry with me. If anything, I'm the one who has the right to be angry right now.”
“You? Why do you get to be angry?”
“Because you broke my heart! And you're shoving it in my face. You're literally mocking my feelings. First you told me that my first kiss didn't matter, that it was only a kiss and I was making too much of it. And now you're here with Jennie, asking me if I feel jealous of her! Like how the fuck should I respond to that? All of your shitty actions made me realize that you don’t give a fuck about me and my feelings. I’m moving on from you Taehyung. You don’t want my love so I’m trying to move the fuck on. Isn’t this what you want?” You gasped out, holding back the tears forming in your eyes. You just had to let it all out, all of your hurt feelings that had been building up for the past couple of months. 
He wasn’t looking at you, just staring at the wooden floors of the closet, “I dunno. I just never thought you would just start talking to new guys already. I thought you wanted love.”
“I’m not the romantic you think I am. I’m not looking for someone to make me complete or to make me feel like I’m worth something. I am complete on my own and I know my worth. I just want to be with someone who can give me the same amount of love and appreciate I have finally figured out how to give myself.”
He made eye contact with you finally, “So what, we’re just going to cut each other off? Completely? Don’t you want me?”
You breathed out, leaning against the door, “I want you but I want you to want me too. I fucking miss you all day every day and you can’t even imagine how pathetic it makes me feel because I don’t even know if you miss me back.”
His shoulder brushed against yours, his voice hoarse, “I've been a shitty friend. I'm sorry. I am really, really fucking sorry. We shouldn’t have kissed. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I don't regret it but I regret what it did to us. I regret how I acted afterwards. I’m so immature. I don't have feelings for Jennie. The only reason why I came tonight is because she told me you were coming. And I knew I just had to see you. But then when I saw you with Jimin, I just felt so jealous. Because that should have been me, we should have been here tonight, hanging out. But I fucked up. You told me you wanted those moments to be meaningful and I stole it from you. And that can’t be replaced. You deserve better than me, okay? But I want you back. I want us to be friends again. Because I’m fucking falling apart without you. I miss you so much. Please, can you forgive me? Can we be friends again?”
You looked into his huge brown doe eyes and your heart did a flip flop. Fuck I still love him. Even though pretending to not love him was exhausting, completely having him out of your life hurt a thousand times worse. God you were the biggest headass on the planet. 
You cringed at your own words, “Yea Tae, we can be friends.” 
He pulled you into a huge hug and didn't let go. You could feel your heart breaking in your chest, you could never tell him how much he’s hurt you. 
———————————————————————————————————
You felt like you were getting a literal migraine because of the deja vu you were experiencing, again. Pretending to be friends with Taehyung while secretly pining for him. It had been around a month or so since you two had reconciled and agreed to be friends again. 
But you still found yourself staring at him for too long when you sat at the picnic benches to do work, you still found your heart beating too fast whenever he would lean in close to you, you still found yourself in love with him. 
However, it was different this time because there was no ‘what if’ or ‘maybe’. He didn't love you the way you wanted him to. If you were going to be honest, you did appreciate knowing this. It made it easier to try to move on. Taehyung did have one thing wrong: you weren’t talking to new guys. Your method of moving on consisted of trying to remember the hurt things he did to you to stop yourself from falling further in the pit of despair. But for him, you could pretend like you were happy when you were actually sad; for him, you could pretend like you were strong when you were actually hurt. 
You were pretty sure he thought you didn't love him anymore. He acted completely normal around you, going on as if you two hadn’t had the biggest fall out in your friendship. It helped, you guessed, pretending. It was something you were both good at. 
You were sitting on your bed when your phone buzzed. It was a snap from Taehyung. You opened and groaned when you saw his snapchat. Taehyung had the infuriating habit of sending suggestive snaps. It was almost always a blurry selfie, very clearly indicating that he was shirtless (he told you he didn't see a reason to wear a shirt if he was in the comfort of his own room). You couldn’t help but feel your heart skip a beat when you caught a glimpse of his well defined collarbones. It was so on brand of him, to tease you like this. Luckily, he did have something actual to say and it wasn’t just a shirtless snap. 
He added the caption r u busy Saturday.
There was a nagging thought in your head that you had something planned on Saturday but you couldn’t remember. 
You snapped back a picture of your ceiling uhh I don’t think so.
Right away he responded (with another blurry selca) come to the soccer banquet w me
Oh shit. The soccer banquet. You had completely forgotten. Jimin had told you about the banquet last week while you two were waiting for biology class to start. He asked you if you wanted to go with him. You said maybe but Jimin told you that Taehyung was planning on asking you. Going with Jimin immediately sounded like a better option. You really just wanted to maintain some sort of distance from Taehyung, it made it easier to ignore the heartbreak. You ended up agreeing to go with Jimin as friends. 
you typed i kinda forgot but jimin actually asked me to go w him and i said ok.
he sent a clear picture of his face, his curly hair looking very fluffy oh, ok. have fun.
Fuck he was definitely mad. You nervously bit your lip, thinking if you should go with Taehyung and cancel with Jimin. 
You: taehyung just asked me about Saturday. He seemed kinda annoyed that I was going w u
Jimin: ah that makes sense. I just walked into the kitchen and he was eating my leftover dumplings.
You: I don’t want him to be upset. 
You: ugh maybe I just won’t go
Jimin: he just gets pouty sometimes it’s not a big deal
You: what if he shows up w a date? idk if i wanna see that
Jimin: it'll be ok. He might not even go anymore. I’ll tell u if he says anything 
You tried to occupy yourself with homework and studies so you wouldn’t frantic over the banquet. By the time the banquet day rolled around, Jimin heard nothing from Taehyung. He tried to reassure you that there was little chance Taehyung would actually show up since he hadn’t talked to any of the BTS members about it.
Hana also tried to calm your nerves as she helped you get ready but she had to leave you a bit early so she could help Jungkook (apparently the man was incapable of knotting a bowtie). She told you that she would finish her makeup and get dressed at his room so she would see you there.
You stared at yourself in the mirror, trying to think in positive thoughts. You were attempting to follow through on your mindset change and trying not to only focus on your insecurities. You combed through the loose waves in your hair, adjusting your soft pink tulle skirt. Jimin texted you that he was outside so you left your room quickly, just wanting for this night to be over already. 
He flashed his gorgeous smile at you, opening the car door for you, “You look so pretty __________.”
You gave him a weak smile, knowing he was just saying that to be nice, “Thank you Jimin. You look good too. I like your sunglasses.” 
He walked around to the other side of the car and drove to the banquet. Once you got there, you realized this event was insanely fancy. Since the BTS guys won the championship, they were essentially the guests of honor, with a few other teams receiving recognition for their own achievements. Jimin explained to you the different awards that would be presented tonight and told you a bit about the other teams. When he kept on droning on about the different roles of the midfielder position, you glanced around the large hall, a bit bored from Jimin’s monologue when you spotted him. I thought he wasn’t coming! He was alone, hands shoved in his pocket, walking coolly.
You internally groaned when you felt your heart skip a beat when you saw his fluffy hair. He was wearing black slacks, a soft pink collared shirt, and a white coat jacket with a black carnation pinned to it (191029 Taehyung). Once again, your thoughts immediately ran to “oh shit he’s hot.” His eyes met yours for a split second and you pretended not to see him, turning to listen back into Jimin’s lecture on soccer. 
After 15 more minutes of explaining the technicalities of shooting a goal, Jimin patted your shoulder softly, “I’ll go get us some drinks. I’ll be back.” 
You nodded at him and looked for Hana. You saw her sitting at a table with Jungkook so you walked over, not wanting to bump into Taehyung. 
“Hey!” She said giving you a hug. Hana looked stunning as always. She was wearing a deep red, long silk dress with a slit running from Her upper thigh.  You saw that Jungkook's bowtie matched her dress. 
You smiled at her, “How do you get prettier Hana? It’s not fair for the rest of us plebs.”
“Shut up. You look gorgeous. Trying to impress someone tonight?” She said teasingly, looking in the direction of Jimin.
You chuckled “oh no. We’re just friends. He asked me here as friends.”
She looked unconvinced, “Rightt.” 
You heard a voice go “ahem” behind you. You turned around at the sound of the familiar voice and saw Taehyung smirking at you. 
“Hey _________”
“Oh. Hey. “ You said nonchalantly.  
“Where’s Jimin?” Taehyung's eyes sparkled mischievously .
“He went to go get me a drink. He’s such a gentleman.” you said, trying to push his buttons a bit. 
He smiled, playing along with your game, “Of course. Except for the fact that he’s never had a steady relationship. And that he’s even more of a fuckboi than me.”
You rolled your eyes, “Taehyung you should probably go back to your date.”
He leaned in close, his breath tickling your neck and whispered huskily “You’re cute when you're jealous.”
Your face immediately reddened and you got up hastily, “Jimin’s probably waiting for me.” 
He pulled your arm back to face him, “If you must know, I came alone tonight. The only girl who I wanted to go with conveniently already had a date for tonight.”
You retorted back, snarkily, “If you must know, Jimin asked me properly, not the day before and through snapchat.”
You stormed away, infuriated at your own feelings and how you easily could fall for his one liners. You found Jimin talking with Namjoon, his girlfriend, and Yoongi. He smiled when he saw you, “Oh sorry. I just got a bit caught up. I have your drink.” He gave you a clear glass with a pink liquid, “It’s punch. No alcohol. Don’t worry.” 
Namjoon was talking about how he did not want to TA for biology lab next semester since the experience was a bit traumatizing, dealing with frantic and stressed out students at very inconvenient hours (you definitely being one of those students). Yoongi berated him for even signing up for such a draining job along with soccer and studies.
You spotted Taehyung from the corner of your eye, slowly inching into the conversation, first talking to Yoongi then Namjoon and his girlfriend. 
You were trying to focus on what Jimin was saying but you found yourself listening in Taehyung's conversation. 
You overheard him talking casually, “Yea I’m thinking about shaving my head. It’s just my hair has gotten way too long and curly. I can’t manage it” 
Your heart stopped. Not the curly hair. You were literally obsessed with his hair, and he knew it.  
You burst out from across the conversation, “Oh my god don’t touch your hair!”
He smirked and winked at you and you closed your eyes in embarrassment: you gave him exactly what he wanted, your attention.
Yoongi laughed “Damn __________ really likes your hair then Taehyungie. Guess you can’t cut it now.”
You felt your face redden even more when Jimin laughed at Yoongi's comment. 
Ugh Taehyung was pushing all your buttons. You walked away, annoyed at his behavior. You found a spot where there were little to no people and leaned on the cool marble wall, just observing the party from a distance. You saw Jungkook and Hana on the dance floor. Once again, you couldn’t help but feel a tad bit jealous. You wanted that and you wanted it with Taehyung. Hana threw her head back in laughter as Jungkook attempted to dance with her. 
“He’s always been shit at slow dancing,” You heard the voice behind you say. You already knew he would come and find you. He must want something otherwise why else would he be following you around like a lost puppy dog?
You didn't bother to look back at him, “Yea this is like the fourth time he’s stepped on Hana’s toes. I'm surprised she hasn’t kicked him in the shins yet.” 
You felt his shoulder brush against yours, “It's bound to happen at this rate.”
You laughed softly about to say something but you found yourself getting interrupted. 
A pretty girl that you didn't recognize came up to you two, extending her hand out to him, “Taehyung right?” 
He smiled sheepishly, shaking her hand awkwardly, “Uh yea. Sorry I don't know who you are. We didn't hook up right?”
She giggled, “No we didn't. I'm actually from Central University.”
“Ooh the rival school.”
She nodded, “Yep. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Yuna. If you're ever at Central for a game, you should totally let me know.”
You rolled your eyes, once again you found yourself in a situation where Taehyung was blatantly flirting in front of you. You blew on a dangling strand of hair that covered your eye. 
“Um sure. I'll let you know.”
She put her hand on her hip, “Great. Just dm me on Instagram.” She then walked away, completely ignoring the fact that you were standing right next to Taehyung the entire time. You couldn't help but feel insecure: why would she expect someone like Taehyung to be with someone like you? It didn't make sense. That's why she thought she could flirt with him and pretend like you were completely irrelevant, because you were. 
He looked at you, “Wow that was kinda weird.”
You crossed your arms, “Was it? I mean she just wanted to flirt with you.”
“She was flirting with me?”
You blew on the strand of hair again, “God you're dense.”
He shrugged, clearly not wanting to get into it, “Wanna dance?”
You shook your head, as you began to watch Jungkook and Hana again, “Not interested.”
“Not interested in dancing? Or not interested in dancing with me?”
“Both I guess.”
“So if Jimin asked you to dance, would you say no?”
“Why does it matter if it's Jimin?”
“It's just a question,” Taehyung said defensively. 
Your tone came out accusatory, “If it's just a question, then why do you care so much about the answer? Why are you following me around? Do you want something from me?”
“I don't want anything. I just want to talk to you. I just don't get why you came here with Jimin and not me. Is he your boyfriend or something like I just don't understand. Why did you choose him over me?” 
You looked over your shoulder and you found him staring at the marble, hands shoved deep in his pockets. You wanted to shout “I did choose you but you didn't want me” but you saw the hurt look on his face and simply sighed deeply, “I didn't choose anyone. He just asked me first.”
“Okay.” He paused for a moment then looked at you, “I'm sorry for being pushy.”
“I’m sorry too. I'm just tired. I didn't really wanna come here tonight. And I guess I feel kinda shitty.”
He looked up, “Why?”
You spoke softly, “I didn’t get to come here with the guy I really wanted to.”
Taehyung’s eyes met yours and the corner of his mouth lifted up in a smirk, “There's my strawberry girl.” 
You rolled your eyes at him, “You're so annoying.”
“Nope. I heard it. You said I was your first choice. You must not really think I'm annoying.”
“I think you are extensively annoying.”
“Hey! At least I didn't throw gatorade all over you.”
“I already said sorry for that! And for your information, it was blue hawaiian punch and sprite. And Hobi made it. So if anything you should be getting mad at him.”
“Alright, next time I see him, I'll throw blue hawaiian punch at him.”
“Go ahead. I will not be stopping you. But I will also not be responsible for him dislocating your shoulder.” 
He winced in pain as he rolled his shoulder, “Ugh, he doesnt need to that since I already dislocated the stupid thing myself.”
You wrinkled your eyebrows in concern, “Why? What happened? What did you do?”
He laughed nervously, “Well, Jimin was trying to teach me how to do like a front roll and I kinda ended up putting too much weight on my right shoulder and it fucking hurts every time I move it.” 
“Did you go to the nurse? Did you ice it? Have you taken tylenol or ibuprofen?”
“Um, no, no, and no”
“What the fuck Taehyung! Why didn't you do anything? Did you not tell anyone?”
“Uhhh, no I didn't tell anyone”
You punched his left arm, “Why not?”
“Ow! Don't dislocate the other one!” he rubbed his arm where you punched him, “Because…I didn't want anyone to worry.”
“Well I'm worrying right now!”
Then he had the audacity to give his boxy smile to you, “I know and it's honestly pretty adorable.”
You crossed your arms and scoffed, “Oh my god, you are insufferable.” 
“It's not a big deal ___________ .I'll be fine.”
You asked, “Are you in pain right now?” 
He massaged his shoulder and winced again, “Eh it's fine. I can manage.”
You pulled his arm, “Cmon lets go. Let me take a look and see if it's actually dislocated and if it's bad we can go to the nurse tomorrow.” 
“Where are we going?” he said trailing behind you.
“Lets just go back to your dorm. It's closer and I'm betting you have more medicine than I have.”
You made your way through the crowd before remembering that you should probably tell Hana you're leaving, “Uh Taehyung, can you get the car and meet me by the front? I just need to say bye to Hana really quick”
He nodded and let go of your hand.
You glanced around the hall and saw Hana by the drinks with Jungkook and some of the other guys. 
You walked over to her, “Hey Hana! Im gonna leave now.”
She looked around and then giggled, “Ooh are you leaving?”
You nodded, not sure what she was trying to imply.
She laughed again, wriggling her eyebrows, “Are you going to leave with him?”
“Um..” You didn't want to tell her that you were leaving with Taehyung because she would not let you do that but you didn't want to lie to her, “Uh um actually I j-“
She cut you off, “Oh my gosh I'm so excited for you. Jimin is so sweet. Have fun!!” 
You thought about clarifying the situation to her but it was whatever now. You would explain in the morning. 
As you walked away, you turned around and saw Hana smiling widely and Jungkook giving you a thumbs up. God this is so embarrassing. But you didnt know what was worse: having them think you were going to have sex with Park Jimin when you really weren’t or having them realize you were going with Taehyung, your unrequited love. 
You walked out of the building and found Taehyung in his car, waiting for you. You quickly got in, not wanting anyone to see you and he drove away. 
He pulled up to the frat house and he led you to his room. For once, you didn't feel anxious. You were only here to see if his shoulder was okay. And then you would leave to go to your dorm. And not think about how much you wanted to kiss him. 
You raided their medicine cabinet and found some Tylenol and some muscle pain reliever cream. 
You re-entered his bedroom and saw him facing his closet, back towards you.
Your mouth went dry when he took off his white coat and began to unbutton his shirt. He removed his shirt to reveal his honey colored skin. 
You quickly looked away when you heard him unzipping his pants. God why is he so comfortable with taking off his clothes in front of me? You tried to distract yourself with your phone but you couldn’t help but peak. He pulled on a plain navy blue short sleeved shirt and remained in his forest green boxers. He walked over, messing with his curly hair, and sat down on the edge of the bed, right next to you. Now you started to feel your heart pound again, his closeness was making it hard for you to stay calm. You hated the effect he had on you. He could make you nervous without even trying. 
Taehyung spoke, chuckling, “Are you okay? Your cheeks are kinda pink.”
“I’m fine. Now let me just see your shoulder.” 
You slowly pressed on his shoulder and he groaned in pain. You bit your lip, thinking about what to do. 
“Can you um take off your shirt? I just want to see if th-“
He excitedly took it off, “You don't have to ask me twice.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. You tried to focus on his shoulder and not get distracted by his really attractive body. You scanned his shoulder and found a huge bruise on the back of his shoulder. 
“Okay so good news I don’t think it's dislocated. There's just a huge bruise here. Which I cannot believe you didn’t notice since it’s the size of my hand.”
“Well your hand is small so..”
“Shut up. Anyways, I think you just have to leave it and let it heal on its own. You can put this cream on and it can help with the pain and also take Tylenol.”
“Can you put the cream on me? Please?” he whined.
“God you're so an-“
“I know I know I'm annoying. Now pleaseee!”
You put some of the cream on your hand and put it on his shoulder. 
“Done.”
“You didn't even rub it in!”
You really were not interested in rubbing your hands all over his chest, “Taehyung, can't you just do it?”
“It's literally on my back I can't reach it! Pleaseee!”
You huffed, annoyed at his puppy dog eyes that could literally convince you to do anything. You slowly rubbed the cream on his shoulder, trying hard not to think how soft his skin felt, how toned his body was, and how his body was literally radiating so much heat, making your entire face flush.
“Your hands are literally so soft __________. I should hire you to do massages for me.”
You chuckled nervously, trying to hide your blushing face, “Well for you it would be $1000.”
You wiped your hands on a napkin, “Anyways, I should go. I'm sure you’ve got someone to meet.” You started to get up, but he pulled you back next to him.
“I have nothing to do. Just sit with me. We never hang out anymore. I mean it's usually never just the two of us.”
Why the fuck does he have to do this? Why is he still acting so flirty? Doesn't he know it hurts me? 
You felt the anxiety building up in your heart, you just really, really fucking wanted to get over him. You sat on the bed, a little too close to him for your taste.
“Can I tell you a secret _________?” he said leaning back on his bed, pulling on his shirt.
“What?”
He gave you his iconic teasing smirk, “You were my first crush.”
He was yours too. Kinda pathetic right? You loved him since 3rd grade and here you are, so many years later, still in love with him.
“I didn't know that,” you said, adjusting your sitting position. You rested your head comfortably against the headboard, crossing your legs.
“Yep, I had a crush on you in second grade. And third grade. and also fourth. Then in 5th grade, all the boys collectively decided girls were gross so I had to pretend I didn't like you.” He said, scooting so his shoulder was pressing against yours.
You chuckled, “I remember that. You told me I had cooties and that we couldn’t hang out anymore.”
“Yea I was kinda stupid then.”
“Just then?” You said teasingly.
He ruffled his hair, “Okay I’m still kinda stupid. But I got better with girls.”
You felt a pang to your heart. He got better with girls and fell out of his crush for you because he probably came to the not so surprising conclusion that there were so many other pretty girls. Obviously his crush on you was because you were just children, nothing that actually meant anything real. His feelings for you were absolutely none existent now. You had to keep reminding yourself of that. 
“Is that why you used to pick flowers from the neighbor’s garden for me?” You said, recalling your younger days with Taehyung
He nodded, laughing “Yea I didn't really know how to impress you but I noticed you would always talk about how pretty their flowers were. And thus the romancing began.”
“I appreciated the flowers for sure, not so much all the teasing.” You were fiddling with your hands, recalling how Taehyung used to pull at your braids or do stupid things like get detention just to get your attention.
Taehyung shrugged, “Don't you know ____________ that's how boys flirt. They tease the girls they like, just so they can see them blush and smile.”
“Hmm I guess. Jungkook did that to Hana a lot, and he honestly still teases her. it's so cute.” 
“Hey! Whenever i tease you, you just punch me or call me fucking annoying.”
“It's different.” 
“How?”
“Cause you're not flirting with me. You're just teasing me cuz we’re friends. So its different.”
“What if I told you that I tease you to see that cute blush on your face?”
This was getting too much. You couldn’t take it. He was doing the same exact shit again. You couldn’t handle being his friend if he was going to act like this. You knew Taehyung was a naturally flirty person but it was different now. You had actual feelings for him and he didn't so all of this teasing and flirting was just shoving your heartbreak back into your face. If this friendship was going to last, you needed to set some boundaries with him. The old you wouldn't have done this. Before, you would have just brushed it off, ignoring all of his flirty comments. But you were going to put yourself and your feelings first now. 
You spoke seriously, “Taehyung, I can't be your friend if you're going to act like this. You can't flirt with me okay? Friends don’t flirt with each other. Friends are just friends and nothing more. This is what you wanted so please make this easier for me.”
The mischievousness and the dangerous flirtiness disappeared replaced with your weakness, his innocent huge doe eyes, “Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize.”
You stared at your hands in your lap, “It's okay.”
You looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile. Taehyung slowly bit his lip and leaned his face close to yours, “Do you still like me?”
You were taken aback by his closeness, “Of course I like you, I mean we are still friends.”
He leaned in even closer, his nose touching yours, his breath tickling your neck, “No, I mean do you like me, like me? Are you still in love with me?”
Your heart was beating out of your chest, you felt like you couldn’t breathe, he was so close to your face. You couldn’t lie to him, he would know right away. Looking deep into his eyes, you softly nodded.
He broke into his boxy grin and licked his lips, his gaze dropping to your lips, “Good, because it will make this a lot easier.” 
Then he kissed you. Hard. He pushed you into the pillows on the bed, his legs planted on each side of your hips, his body pressing into yours all while kissing you deeply. Your entire body was electrified, buzzing. It felt so good again, so comforting, so natural. One of his hands traveled to your face, cupping your cheek while the other pressed into the curve of your waist. Your hands immediately twisted into his curls. His lips were warm and soft, just like you remembered. He softly bit your lower lip and you gasped, providing him an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. You couldn’t help but moaned against his mouth when you felt his tongue. Taehyung rasped into your ear, sending shivers through your body, “Fuck you’re beautiful.” He pushed his chest against yours, kissing you deeper as if he was trying to get closer.
You broke the kiss, the flavor of strawberry still tingling on your lips, completely out of breath, your heart hammering. You looked up at him hovering above you, his lips swollen from kissing you, “Tae, what..? I’m confused. I cant be your fuck buddy or something. I have feelings for you and I know you don't lo-“
He stopped your sentence by kissing your lips softly and slowly. He pulled away slowly, his eyes dancing with excitement. He kissed your cheek sweetly. He spoke, his voice deep and melodic, “I love you ____________”
Your eyes widened in disbelief, you laughed nervously as you sat up properly, “No, no, you don't love me Taehyung. You don't have feelings for me. You told me that.”
He settled next to you as he took your hands in his, “I told you that I was confused and that I wasn’t sure. I never said that I didn't have any feelings for you.”
You shook your head, remembering what Hana told you, “Taehyung if you said you were confused, it means you didn't have feelings. People say they are confused when they are trying to be nice. If you had real feelings for me, then you wouldn’t be confused, you would know that.”
His words came out as a whisper, “I know it now. I know I love you. All these years, I grew to be in love with you and I think I fell in love with you but I didn’t realize it until you told me how you felt. I realized once you weren’t in my life anymore, everything felt different. I didn’t realize I loved you until I did. And I don’t love the idea of you. I love you. Your smiles, your laughs, the way you say fuck in every sentence, The way you call me headass. I love you more than you could possibly understand.”
For the first time, you were completely speechless. You looked around and blinked a few times just to make sure that you weren’t in a dream. Actually what would be worse is if he took it all back. Just like how he did with the first kiss. You were literally on cloud 9 and then he broke the reality to you that he didn't have feelings for you.
He spoke again “I don't know if this is too much right now but if you want I can give you space. i can give you time. I can give you all the time in the world because I'll wait for you.  Cause frankly the way that I see it, you and me? We’re Inevitable.”
 Your hand came up to his cheek, “Taehyung, are you being serious? Are you telling me the truth right now? Do you actually love me? I just…I don't know what I would do if you didn't mean every word you just said right now.”
“I'm sorry _________. I was scared of my feelings. That's why I acted the way I did. The way I feel about you is like nothing I’ve felt before, so I was scared. And I was confused. But I do love you. Everything that happens to you matters to me. You're worth everything and more to me. And I want this. I want you. So badly.”
Your heart swelled, you couldn’t think properly not only because he kissed you but also because of his confession that you waited for since high school. You cupped his cheek and whispered hoarsely, “Kiss me…please.” 
Taehyung then rolled on top of you, pinning you underneath him. He gave you a smirk that made your heart skip a beat and pressed his soft lips against yours once again. He went slowly this time as if he were trying to memorize your lips. Your hands wrapped around his neck, trying to bring him closer to you. The hand on your waist traveled to the outside of your thigh and he slowly wrapped your leg around his waist, pushing his body into yours. He pushed his tongue into your mouth eagerly, and his hand on your leg slowly traveled up your body just until his thumb grazed the underside of your breast. You unconsciously arched up into his touch as your breath hitched at the contact, never having been touched there before. He growled softly, “Fuck, you’re such a good girl.” 
You whimpered as you melted against his plushy lips. His lips left yours as he softly kissed your jaw. Your heart began to pound, you knew where this was going but you were scared. You had never done this before and he had dozens of times with much more beautiful girls. Your anxiety began to crawl over your mind and you exhaled uncomfortably. He felt your body tense so he removed his lips from your jaw. 
He spoke softly, “Hey, are you okay? We don't have to do anything. We can just sit on the bed and chill.”
You tried to control your breathing, “No it's not that. I want to but…I'm nervous. i've never done this before. and you have. a lot. with much more pretty girls. I just…I’m scared..I have no idea what I'm doing.”
Taehyung kissed your cheek, then your forehead, then your lips. He looked deep into your eyes, “You’re beautiful, you know that? Like ridiculously stunning. It's honestly not fair. But I also want you to know I love you for you. The way my heart skips a beat when you talk about what you're passionate about, the way you know what exactly to say to me, the way you aren’t afraid of calling people out on their bullshit. You're my dream girl. Also don't worry about not knowing what to do.  Let me take care of you.”
You nodded softly, your heart completely elated at his words. You had never felt like this before, so loved, so wanted, so warm, “Okay.”
 He slowly began to trace his lips along your jaw and neck, sucking and biting softly with the hot and open mouth kisses. Your mind was completely hazy as you sighed deeply, heart racing. You heard him whisper “mine” into your skin in between kisses and soft bites. 
He made his way back to your lips. You uncontrollably moaned into his lips when he licked into your mouth. Taehyung groaned softly, “Fuck you taste so good.” He bit on your lower lip again when his hips pressed into yours. You moaned his name breathlessly, your cheeks completely red, feeling embarrassed at how desperate you sound. 
He stopped kissing you for a moment and you realized you were completely out of breath. You looked up at him, his pupils were completely blown, his curly hair a mess, a glint of adoration in his eyes. You tugged at his shirt, “Can you take this off?”
Taehyung kissed your forehead, “Of course princess.” He pulled off his shirt and looked at you with his sincere eyes, “Whenever you want to stop, we can stop, tonight is about you.”
You nodded, knowing he would immediately pause whenever you started to feel nervous or anxious. Your words tumbled out when you saw his defined golden body, “You're so hot”
He immediately cupped your face, pulling you in for a needy kiss. He broke away for a moment, “I’ve waited so long to hear those words from you.”
You smiled shyly, “I've always thought you were hot. I just never wanted to tell you.”
He kissed you softly, “What else do you like about me? What do you love about me?”
You tried to hide a smile, looking up at him, “um..”
He gave a fake gasp, “Um?!”
Your cheeks twinged red and you began to ramble, “Sorry! I know what I love about you but it's hard for me to pinpoint. I love just everything. Your personality, you're so kind and sweet and gentle and you make me feel like I matter. You listen to me, like actually listen and care. I mean you're the one I think about as I lie awake at night. I also love how yo-“
He cut you off with a kiss and pulled away delicately, “You are so cute.”
You anchored one of your hands in his hair and one around his neck, pressing your lips against his, warmth coursing through your body. Your eyes rolled back as his hips rolled against yours. He whispered, his voice low and husky, “Fuck, you’re so needy for me.” He continued to place open mouth kisses on your lips, his hands remaining your waist, pressing into your body. 
You trembled as you moaned breathlessly when you felt his fingers slip underneath your shirt, skimming  the waistband of your underwear. You couldn’t stop panting into his mouth. you felt his breath tickled your neck, nipping gently, when he praised, “You're being so good for me.”
You were completely intoxicated in his touch, sucking on his bottom lip, responding to his praises with soft moans of his name, with one leg of yours wrapped around his waist.
“Tae.”
“Yes princess?”
“I want you.”
“You have me.”
“No I want you, want you.”
His eyes blinked in realization of what you were saying. He kissed your lips softly again, one hand on your cheek, the other twirling your hair, “Are you sure?”
“Yes”
“Just because you say yes now doesn’t mean you can't say no later. So whenever you want to stop, we stop.”
You nodded, reassuring him you would definitely let him know if you wanted to stop. But you knew you wouldn’t want to. You had wanted this so badly for so long. You trusted him completely, he was your best friend and the only guy you had ever loved. 
Taehyung flashed his boxy smile at you. He tilted your chin as he kissed you deeply. He spoke in his deep voice, sending trembles through your body,  “I can’t wait to fucking wreck you.”
———————————————————————————————————
You tapped your foot impatiently, waiting by the entrance of the building, leaning on the cream colored column. 
He was late. Of course he was late. Even though you reminded him this morning about your plans together. You looked at your phone for the third time in the past ten minutes. No text yet.
You heard the rumblings of thunder, indicating it was going to rain soon. You sighed and stepped into the building, tired of waiting for him. You placed your purse in the x-ray and stepped through the scanner. You walked around and found a bench in front of a large photograph depicting two modestly dressed women looking at each other on beige steps. You stared at the photograph for a few minutes, wishing that the person who would appreciate it the most was here next to you. You felt a tap on your shoulder so you looked to your right and then heard his voice from your left, “Hi.”
You crossed your arms, annoyed, “You're late.”
His curly hair was messy, and he was still breathing heavily as if he just ran all the way here. He sat down next to you and he kissed your cheek, “I know, I know. I'm sorry. I got caught up with Jimin. We were playing smash and then I forgot about the time.”
“Taehyung, I planned this because it was something you were excited about.”
He cupped your cheek, “I know and I thoroughly appreciate it. You're way too good for me.”
You couldn’t help but blush, “Shut the fuck up. I'm mad at you.”
“Aww you're adorable.” he smirked at you, “Nice hickey, by the way,” 
You gasped, clasping your hands over your neck. You felt your face heating up, scandalized by his actions,  “Taehyung! I told you not to make it so visible. This is so embarrassing.”
“Sorry but not really. I like seeing you blush.” He tugged on your arm, lifting you up from the bench, “Now c'mon, lets go look around. It's not everyday I get to walk around a photography museum with my girlfriend.”
After spending a few hours walking through each and every exhibit in the museum, you were thoroughly exhausted. Taehyung held your hand as you walked out of the museum. It was getting dark, with the soft light of the street lamps giving a warm glow. it was sprinkling, giving the air a cool misty tinge. 
Taehyung sat on the wooden bench facing the gardens outside the museum, and pulled you onto his lap. It started to rain harder but the pitter patter of the rain drops on the cobblestone was comforting, reminding you of home. He looked at you with his huge eyes that were sparkling in the dim moonlight. 
You smiled, “What?”
He returned your smile, “Nothing. I just can't believe I get to date my best friend.”
You tried to hide your smile, “You're so mushy.”
He leaned in close to you, “What? I can't say romantic things to my strawberry girl?”
You pressed your lips against his, warmth coursing through your body. He whispered softly, “Your lips are so soft, I could kiss them all day.”
You smiled against his lips, kissing him once more.
“___________”
“Yes?”
“I want you to know, It was always you. You’re my beginning and my end.”
You rested your forehead against his, feeling his hands planted on your hips, “From the moment you called me strawberry girl, I knew it was always you.”
Taehyung looked at you with concern in his eyes, “Are you sure?”
“Sure about what?”
“About loving me.”
You leaned away to study his face, “Of course I’m sure. Why do you ask?”
“I’m scared...that you might love me now but in a few years you might hate me...you might fall out of love with me...that you won’t want me anymore. What happens if you see a side of me that makes you not want me anymore? I can’t help but wonder what I will do if you don’t want me.” 
You cupped his face in your hands, speaking seriously, “I’ll always want you. I’ll always love you. I always have loved you. Even when we fight, even when we say horrible things to each other, we somehow always make our way back to each other. I know you, I’ve seen every side of you good and bad and I want it all.”
He held your hands that were pressed against his face and said gently, “It’s kinda hard for me to put into words but I love you in ways I have never loved anyone else.”
You rested your forehead against his, letting the rain tickle your cheeks as your lips pressed against his.
author’s note: i love the rain aesthetic; its so comforting and romantic (esp the idea of kissing in the rain) anyways thank you to everyone for reading. i really, really never thought anyone would be reading my writing, much less relate and invest in strawberry girl so thank you to everyone who has been following along w the story! i wanted to make the mc as realistic as possible and insecurities is something that we all have to face. bts has been such an important symbol of self love and im so thankful for that bc theyve changed the lives of so many armys! im rambling lol ty for reading and i hope you all enjoyed the final part of strawberry girl. 🥺💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
tags: @fleurmoon @tangledsparkles @chocolatebelievercrusade @brokenobserver @ncitydreamies @soulstaes @bonnyskies @thelilbutifulthings @busansgloss @imluckybitches @xlectrahearts @embrace-themagic @bts-dreamybaby @belshka @trinbin039 @xxlostinseoul @sheislikearock @madjammil @guksflavor @yn-the-reader @kingjvngins @ggukkieland @waves-and-woods @aa-ronpa @agabud @n-dingscene @daydreamersblog @dionysusrage @coolinwbu 
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