#so this is the proof that I can actually do better
Note
Marc Guiu and reader making up after an argument pls
m. guiu | into it
ik hector doesn’t have his license yet but here he does ok?! also sorry i got carried away and wrote smut :o
warnings: toxic relationship, smut, not proof read
“are you actually fucking kidding me, marc?” you scoff, grabbing your things ready to leave. you were sick of his shit. sick of him taking his anger out on you when you did nothing but support and be there for him. how could be so mean? you understand that him loosing a game would get him upset, but making it seem like it’s your fault, when he should’ve been the one to kick the ball in the net is just not fair.
“yeah run away, like you always do when it gets tough.” he walks after you, shrugging his shoulders. “marc, don’t you take your shit out on me, because the both of us know it’s literally not on me you can’t kick a ball.” you shake your head, clearly having enough of your boyfriends whining. “fuck you can be such a-.” he stops himself before saying something stupid. “yeah, no we’re done. don’t even try to call me because i won’t come back. i mean it this time.”
you walk out the house, catching marc’s sister on the way. “hey, what happened, i heard yelling, are you guys okay?” she gives you an concerned look, probably noticing the tears that have been building up in the corner of your eyes.
before you completely break down in front of her, you decide to give her a nod, before leaving. you couldn’t believe marc. he has gotten mad about his team losing many times, but it has never been this bad. sure you would fight, it’s just something that was part of your relationship, but maybe that isn’t so normal after all.
you were both toxic playing stupid games with each other like how to make the other jealous. you loved it, the fights, the trouble. it’s what kept your relationship entertaining, but now you weren’t so sure anymore.
just fucking great! now you have to walk home. you go to walk on the other side of the street, when you suddenly hear a honk, making you jump. you turn to see hectors car stopping beside you. “shit, you scared me! what the hell are you doing here.” you sigh, shaking your head. “came to take you home.” he answers. “i’m f-.” “just get in the damn car, y/n.” hector interrupts you. you roll your eyes, walking to the passenger seat.
you wouldn’t have needed him to drive you if it wasn’t so dark out. “did marc tell you to drive me?” you ask, looking over at him. he doesn’t reply, instead he keeps looking at the road not giving a reaction, so you must take his silence as an answer. “what happened?” you can’t help but scoff. “as if marc didn’t tell you already.” he shakes his head. “he didn’t. he just told me he fucked up again and that i should pick you up.”
“we’ll at least he knows he did.” you breathe out a laugh. “seriously, what happened?” he repeats. “he’s just bitching about the lose of the game and literally behaves like a child, acting like it’s my fault. he also almost called me a bitch… so told him we’re done.” hectors eyes widen, looking like they are about to pop out. “wait what? you broke up with him, like for real this time.”
you giggle, nodding. “i’m just done with all the fights, you know.” you look out the window watching the peaceful road, with almost no cars to be seen. “but you guys love it.” he furrows. “i’m just tired lf it, you know?” he nods. “that’s fair, he’s dumb for treating you like that.” hector says, before shutting the motor down, because you arrived home. “what are you doing right now?” you ask hector, since you guys haven’t talked much previously. “nothing, why?” you smirk. “you have to stay with me! we haven’t had our gossip sessions in so long.” you nudge him. “yeah, if that makes you feel better.” he smiles shrugging. “definitely. god, there’s so much tea!!” you walk over to your house
…
“i still love him, even if he does stupid shit like that you know.” you tell hector, while stuffing the chips in your mouth. you would probably die if anyone saw you like this, but it’s only hector, he’s seen you your worst times. even though he’s marc’s best friend, he never told him anything when you would talk about him. that’s why you can talk so openly with him about anything, he just won’t tell anyone. “then why don’t you get back with him?” hector asks. a knock on the door cuts in your conversation. “y/n?” you hear marc’s voice, making hectors mouth drop in a gasp.
shit, this looks so wrong right now, with hector laying in your bed as well as yourself. you walk over to the door, opening it a tiny bit to see his sad looking face. he genuinely looks like he’s sorry. you look back to hector that sits dumbfound in your bed. “who’s in there?” marc asks. you shake your head. “no one.” you answer way too quick. he pushes open your door, revealing hector that is sat on your bed. you look him in the eyes to see an hint of reaction, but he doesn’t show any.
“why is he here?” marc asks, way too calm, it’s almost scaring you. “we just talked.” you say your eyes meeting with the ground, mentally preparing yourself for the yelling. “okay.” he just nods. you look up at him, a furrow on your face. have you heard that right? “can i talk to you..alone?” marc scratches the back of his head, nervously. you nod following him out.
“did you fuck him?” woah straight to it marc! also what the fuck? “what the fuck, no!” you exclaim. “okay.” he nods. “marc, can you explain yourself other than replying with an “okay”. why are you here?” he just keeps head low. he almost looks like.. he’s intimidated by you.
“i wanted to apologise.” he finally looks at you. suddenly hector comes out of your room. he points to the door awkwardly, mentioning he’s gonna leave. you give him a smile before looking back at marc.
“marc..” you start. “no please, don’t say anything, just hear me out. i shouldn’t have talked to you the way that i did. it was stupid of me to take everything out on you, because you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and i would never want you to feel guilty of something that i did. i understand that you probably never wanna talk to me again, but i just need to make sure that despite what i said, you know that i love you.” something in the way he’s saying it makes you believe him, but you’re not sure if you can forgive him so soon.
but fuck, he has no right to look this good right now, you’re supposed to be mad at him! his lips plump and red from the way he’s been biting on them nervously, his biceps broad and strong as he crosses his arms and his eyes looking lowly down on you. how can you be mad at him, when he looks like that? “you’re on probation, i guess.” marc’s eyes light up. “what’s that supposed to mean? please. are you ever going to forgive me?” he asks, needing to know. “like i said, you’re on probation.” you reply, getting closer to him. “that isn’t a yes, y/n. do i need to get on my knees and beg for you?” you can’t help but smirk. “getting on your knees wouldn’t be such a bad idea, actually.”
“fucking hell, well we can always make that happen, ma.” his hand makes its way to your waist, pulling you onto him. in a matter of seconds his lips are on your’s. he tightens his hands on your waist and runs the other up your back, pressing you harder into his chest. your hands move in his hair, pulling him closer, if that’s even possible. he parts your lips with his tongue, to deepen the kiss. his hand on your waist loosens and trails down the side of your body, until he turns it to grab your ass. he lets out a low groan, bringing his other hand also down on your ass. you pull on his bottom lip slightly, making him smile in the kiss before reconnecting them again.
he squeezes your butt, muttering a quick “jump.” before picking you up and carrying you to your bed. he sits down, your legs each spread as you straddle him. he grips your hips, moving them back and forth so you’ll grind on him.
he groans as you feel his dick twitching under your cunt. he unbuttons his pants, making you slide your hand in them to feel his hard and veiny dick. you always forget how big he is.
he groans, taking your hand out of his boxers. “i want to make you feel good.” can he get any hotter? you smile at him, while dropping beside him on the bed. he lifts your arms before taking off your top and throwing it on the ground. he begins sucking and kissing your neck, most likely in order to cause hicky’s so everyone knows who you belong to, but it feels too good right now, to care about. his hand slides down to your loose pyjama shorts, touching your clit. you let out a whimper. you forgot how well he knew what you liked. “you look so good, ma.” he now kisses your tits also sucking on them like a newborn.
his mouth moves back on your’s, when he slides his cold fingers into your shorts, forming goosebumps on your skin. he immediately finds your hole pushing his fingers inside of you without an warning. he keeps stretching your walls, causing you to moan in his mouth. you part your mouth in the kiss, marc taking the opportunity to bite on your button lip, tasting your cherry flavoured lipgloss. he plumps his fingers in and out of you, whispering sweet words in your ear, in order to show his love for you.
his mouth moves from your face, down to your body, where you need him the most. he starts eating you out like his live depends on it licking and sucking in all your juices. you push his head deeper in your cunt, needing to feel him deeper. “marc i need your dick, please.” you moan. he looks up to you, eyes glistening, having waited for you to say that. as soon as the words left your mouth, he instantly turns you around, having your face meet with the pillow. he pulls your pants down, following with his own. you turn your head to watch him pull out his dick. lord, you’re not sure if you’re ever going to get used to his size.
he stretches your cunt as he slides into you, having you bite in the pillow in order to not let embarrassing sounds out of you. he fills you up moving, his dick in and out of you. your eyes almost fall to the back of your head, from rolling them as he fucks into you relentlessly. “fuck, so tight, ma.” he groans. you move your ass up, for yourself to feel him deeper, according to the fact he isn’t fully in you yet. “fuck, y/n. if you do that one more time i’m gonna come.” he curses.
he buries his dick deeper inside of you, his balls hitting your butt, making you whine of pleasure. he spanks your ass, fastening his peace. “marc!” you cry, as you feel him hitting your g spot. he moves rapidly, squeezing your waist. your legs begin shaking, signalling marc that, you’re gonna come. “do it.” he demands. with a cry, you cum around his cock, making him twist inside of you and pull out, coming on your belly.
he breathes heavily, his sweaty chest rising and falling with each breathe he takes. “fuck.” he mutters before getting up to take a towel from your bathroom. you look on your cum covered stomach, then back at marc that’s coming back with the towel. he smiles slightly, as he wipes it all off of you. “how are you?” he goes to lay beside you, his arms naturally finding their way to your waist, hugging you. “for a person that won’t be able to walk for the next hours, i’m doing great actually.” he laughs, pecking your shoulder.
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Just a little help -Rafe Cameron
Warnings: Corruption, Anger Issues, Not proof read, English is not my first language
Pairing: Grumpy!Rafe x Sunshine!Reader
You hated Rafe. He was a grumpy guy while you were a ray of pure sunshine. The fact that he was a Kook while you were a Pogue didn't make things any better.
You couldn't go to the other side of the island without him making rude comments. Of course, they hurt you, but by now, you were pretty much used to it.
"Where are your little friends? After our last encounter, I thought they understood that letting you walk home all by yourself is not a good idea." Rafe grinned like a maniac.
"It gets boring, you know. Everything you can do is insult the Pogues and me. If you have something new, please let me know." You smiled at him, patting his chest.
You have always followed your instincts without hesitation. And right now, it felt right to pat Rafe's chest.
"Don't touch me with your dirty hands, Pogue." He hissed, turning around to leave.
You took a deep breath, not believing what you were about to do, "Rafe?"
After you called out his name, he turned around quickly, clearly annoyed, "What?"
"Who hurt you?" You asked carefully, to not make him even more upset. You knew it was a cliche moment, but you loved all this corny shit.
Rafe looked at you for a few seconds before he started to laugh. He was laughing directly in your face after you tried to be nice to him for once.
"I suggest you go back to your fucking side of the island and stop asking me shit." He said after calming down his laughter, his tone dangerously low.
"Come on, Rafe, you can tell me. I am actually a very good listener." You tried once again, wanting to help him.
He walked to you as fast as he could, "Listen, Pogue, I know what you are trying to do, and I can guarantee you, it won't work. Did your friends send you to me? Did they think I would go easy on you because you are known as the sunshine of the Cut?"
You quickly shook your head, "I just came from work, so it was a total coincidence that I met you."
The tension was so thick that it seemed like it could have been cut with a knife.
"Look, Rafe, you hate me, and I don't even know why. Everybody told me I was supposed to hate you as well, so I did it. I promise I am here to help you." You looked into his blue eyes, finding some sort of comfort in them.
Rafe Cameron was speechless. Never had anyone wanted to him, and now you, a Pogue, stood in front of him.
"You want to help me to get rid of my anger?" He asked, to which you nodded.
That was all Rafe needed to see before he pressed his lips onto yours. Your eyes widen in disbelief, not expecting something like this.
"Now, I feel better." He smirked after pulling away.
"Why would you do that?" You raised your voice at him.
The answer was he didn't know it. He never thought about you in any sexual way, but the way you looked at him, he just had to corrupt you. And that's exactly what he did.
A year later
"Here," You smiled down at Rafe, handing him a glass of whisky.
He pulled you onto his lap, kissing you roughly, "Thank you, what would I do without my little ray of sunshine."
It was like he brainwashed you. You did everything for him, just like he wanted it all those years. He finally had someone who didn't say anything against the things he did. And he intended to keep it that way.
#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#obx#outer banks#outer banks x reader#outer banks x y/n#outer banks x you
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Where is that text post about procrastinating on a task for literal months only to find that it takes less than 10 minutes to complete and is so very easy. Because etc etc I am in this picture and I don't like it.
#hilary for ts#moved to a new city in the same state 18 months ago#did not update my driver's license (i don't have a car so it wasn't urgent)#figured i would have to get tons of paperwork and go to the DMV and otherwise make a production#did not do it#needed ID with current address? did not do it#until now#when i googled it#found out that you can in fact update your address online on the dmv portal and it takes all of 10 minutes and --#i cannot stress this enough --#you DO NOT ACTUALLY HAVE TO GO TO THE DMV!#better known as the proof for the existence of hell on earth#and it was so easy. so very easy. will i learn anything from this?#the magic 8 ball says stay tuned
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I have finally finished O Segredo Na Floresta.
I have cried more than I thought possible.
And I fear I shall never be the same.
#i have discovered that however bad quarentena was - cellbit has tons more angst material ready to unleash when least expected#it was so so so good but my god - i have never felt more empty#you ever see a piece of media and think yeh this is gonna change the way i view certain things forever - yep.#but now i enter the ordem episodes that arent captioned and only have the youtube autotranslate - the final boss for my portuguese knowledge#cellbit#ordem paranormal#this post is sort of my proof to myself when i actually finished the bastard - this season was three billion years long i swear#and still so long to go#cellbit will continue to stab my emotions for many more hours to come!!!#it is very late at night and i am very sad. TIME TO START THE NEXT ONE :D#o segredo na floresta#enigma do medo#bro i need to yell at someone about the last like hour of the damn thing because i have many things to say. or maybe just cry some more#at least my portuguese is much better now lmao. I'll get to a point where i can just listen to an episode with no subtitles if it kills me!!#hopefully cellbit will be back on the qsmp soon to rip my heart out with a cute lil cubito delivering heart wrenching angst for some variety#qsmp#ok sleep time lmao
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Someone wanna tell me why my limp thin wet rat hair, which constantly gives me reasons to despair no matter how much work I put into it, only ever has volume after exercise (+and a lil bit of powdered organic dry shampoo for the grease). Like. How do I go from stringy rat to dora the explorer. Surely there is an achievable inbetween.
#franposting#my hair is just. screams. can you cooperate for ONCE#why is it so comically big after literally TEN MINUTES OF PHYSIO#i dont mind the volume. i WANT volume.#but it's lacking curl definiton. its just a puffy haze of frizz#yesterdays little insane thinky thoughts actually made me feel so much better abt life in general#so here proof of life before i inevitably start moping again#also like..behold. giant shiny forehead. its genetic. i despair of it. and the moon face. alas#the office job life be killing me. its September and im SO pale#nude cami isnt doing me any favours but i had to layer for work my shirt was too sheer
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What’s up tumblr hope you had a super fun leap day. sparkle on. big news my first seed start sprouted while I was at work ✨
#might have to change the url bc I’m in my collard era lol#my day was alright#I ate some shrimp curry that I’d accidentally left out all night and was fine bc I’m a scavenger of a person#then bc I started to feel PMDD fatigue I laid in bed with great elan til my shift started#then I spilled coffee all over my work clothes bc I stuck it in a very sketchy travel mug someone left in our house at the last party#and I listened to Screamin Jay Hawkins on the ride to work which was fun#work was a bit chaotic but uneventful and got to spend a huge chunk of it outside#it seems I have way better ball control than I did when I was a kid. whyyy now. i was such a loser I could have used some athleticism#but I’m so glad it’s the weekend so I can go palliative care mode which is what I call my lizard brumation pmdd phase#and stopped by a friend’s house after work which was nice#really rejuvenating#then made a sort of weird frittata w/ beets peppers and potatoes bc I was too tired to actually cook#watched sense and sensibility 1995 and really liked it although I found myself wishing for a bit more anguish. sorry#and I think I might set out one of the frozen almond croissants to proof overnight so I can bake it for bfast tomorrow#will go for a very short swim but probably only about 30 min bc of aforementioned fatigue. then pick up yogurt and a silly little treat#and will have ****** and **** for dinner either tomorrow or Saturday which will be nice#but really hoping Saturday because **** **** ** **** lol#and then Sunday I’m trepidatious about because **** was like what are you doing Sunday and I’m like well I guess having a fraught and#difficult conversation about our dynamic! lol#I’m very lucky to have proactive friends who are good communicators. truly I do not deserve his kindness. but like. god. let me retreat and#lick my wounds!#i shan’t get into it. but just know I know how S&G felt#and then another work week but I’m starting to really get a feel for the routine and what works and what doesn’t#and I’m excited for my next few meal preps we got millet and kale gratin#and a Lebanese chickpea dish the name of which unfortunately escapes me atm#but my mouth is watering thinking about it. saw a vid and was instantly influenced and went to the pantry to see if I had the stuff and I#dooooooooooo#and I do feel like I’m beginning to get past the worst of [event] and its sadness
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Some off-the-cuff thoughts on overspiritualizing patterns in science
I remember watching a talk in middle school youth group about laminin, the "molecule that holds your whole body together" which was supposedly shaped like a cross. The suggestion, basically, was that the cross's image was integral to our molecular makeup and that this was part of God's design in a very Significant way. I was a burgeoning STEM girl, so I taped a diagram of a laminin up next to my bed for a while.
(As I would later find out, the whole laminin thing had/has some reach among Christians. There are T-shirts and everything)
Fast forever to spring of my freshman year as a microbiology student. I take my first course in cell bio, and I learn that laminins are actually one of many families of ECM glycoproteins. They aren't really any more significant in "holding the body together" than collagens, elastins, or fibronectins. They're very important, yes, but ultimately just one type of adhesive protein among many. And! They also do a bunch of other stuff that's way cooler than just. Adhesive.
While some laminins do bear resemblance to a cross when diagramed, it's really only because they have three subchains. Some are t-shaped, but others are y-shaped, and those don't look anything like a cross. Also, when they're in situ rather than in a nice, neat diagram, they tend to be all floppy and then they look even less cross-like.
Source
And when I learned about this I was oddly relieved. It felt like I was right about something that I couldn't even put into words, and that somehow the field of what I could call glorious had grown wider.
Christians are called to see and marvel at the presence of God in creation. I love doing that! I see God left and right through my scientific studies. Yet I also know that the human brain is pattern-seeking and that we are prone to pareidolia. I honestly don't know that there's a substantive difference between seeing the cross in some laminins and seeing Jesus on a piece of toast. It's all just seeing patterns that arise from something else (in the case of laminins, being able to bind three different molecules at once) and attributing spiritual significance. God is sovereign and maybe in the grand scope of his vision for creation it means something, but in terms of seeing God's hand in science I just find it so... small?
You could spin so many four-chain or four-domain proteins or goodness knows how many other molecules into images of the cross if you pick the right diagram. You could take every pattern of three in nature (and there are many!) as an image of the Trinity. If you really, really wanted to, you could take every six in organic chemistry as a sign of the beast, which would be hilarious in its misguidedness. It just becomes so literalistic and dull so very fast.
Look! Wouldn't you rather talk about the fact that laminins begin to appear along the edge of a developing lung at just ten weeks of human embryonic development, suggesting that they play a role in alveolar morphogenesis? That they're present in the neural stem-cell niche, which makes them an attractive candidate for helping to treat degenerative neurological conditions? I want to go back to whoever gave that talk that I watched in youth group and shake him and say, "God did that, and you're still hung up on the fact that laminins have three subchains?"
#God is so so big and as a result the horizons of science are ENORMOUS#very often when Christians talk about science it's with a tone of '#see! look we found it! the God molecule! incontrovertible proof of the divine!'#and like. my brothers and sisters in Christ. God didn't create the world for us to prove our way to him#he created a world that shouts and cries his name but we have to know HIM first! not the other way around#you're not gonna find God in Laminins if you're fixated on it being this big significant Thing that Proves that GOD SIGNS HIS HANDIWORK!#you can absolutely meet him there if you take the time to marvel at the glory of a molecule this versatile#about which we can ask questions! and draw closer to our creator by understanding his creation better!#just. i feel such a grave responsibility and a glorious joy towards promoting scientific literacy among Christians#it's hard to describe but in a lot of ways it's the thing i want most to do with my life#also to be clear: not trying to vague-post about anyone#Kaylie's post about quarks did inspire this but only insomuch as it skirted right up against this subject#about which i clearly have a lot to say#the original post was gleeful and charming and I'm so glad that you're enjoying your physics book!#just. i think it's important not to fixate on the symbols at the expense of the actual wonders of creation#wow I am such a woman in stem#good grief#pontifications and creations#all truth is god's truth#endless forms most beautiful
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at this point im so mentally worn out that it genuinely feels like im about to have a minor breakdown in face of the smallest possible inconvenience
i've been so consistently feeling so miserable that i feel like my hair being pink is the only thing keeping me within any semblance of sanity
#2 days ago i almost cried bc i really wanted to make a paperdoll for my DIO zine but i hated everything i drew#i spent 3 hours almost finishing one just to realize i fucking hated it#so i decided to drop the entire thing because i physically and mentally just Couldn't Do It Anymore#i'm so exhausted at this point. this project has completely drained me. im so tired im so tired im so tired#i thought to myself like ok so the special edition zine won't have a paperdoll i still have other stuff#i thought the paperdoll was a really fun idea and i felt so fucking upsetting to let it go but y'know there's the other things#....... so today i got the prototype keychains.#which i needed to make promotional photos on monday#so that people who want to order the special edition zine would know exactly what they're buying#and of course: Vograce Printed The Keychains Wrong#the design was supposed to have some see-through layers which were even clearly included on the design proof THEY sent me#but the keychains just... don't have it. there are no see-through layers. they are just normal coloured layers.#so now i have keychain prototypes that don't look as they should and ok sure i CAN technically still do the photos with these#but the keychain won't look as it should and that bothers me#and i dont want to wait anymore bc i really want to open preorders next week#but i'll have to order prototypes AGAIN bc i still really need to see how the actual keychain would look when it's done right#i'm so tired i am so fucking tired i am so exhausted#i am just. fully expecting to see my printer on monday just to be told he hasn't even opened my email and hasn't printed anything#i was waiting all day for a guy to install better internet for me#i was told he will come today at 11:30#at 1PM i call my internet provider to ask them where the fuck he is#they tell me. 'oh did you not get a message that his visit was rescheduled to 21st?'#i did not. i received no such message. i've already been waiting A MONTH for this faster internet. and now i'll be waiting another 10 day#btw these keychains? i was also waiting all day for the postman to call me and let me know he's at my building#so that i could go get the package#bc our postmen decided that actually they don't want to deliver packages anymore YOU have to go out and get them#he did not call me. he had my number btw. he just didn't call me. he just left a note in my mailbox#meaning that i had to go to the post myself like 5 hours later because that's when packages return to the post office#there were like two more vents in the tags but tumblr nerfed me#bitching about all this in the tags made me feel a little better tbh
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i feel like I’m dying but life is objectively much better in many factual ways and I’m working to remind myself of that at least once a day ✍️
#my photos#personal#no like i actually started feeling like my chest was gnawing itself and my lungs are heavy and I’m nauseous tingly#chill on a sofa listening to upbeat music and petting a dog#but the Feeling Like You’re Dying doesn’t care it’ll just hit when it hits#Im going home for part of June/July and there’s a lot of unknown and my family not talking abt things#and honesty vs lies battles#and a lot of messy radtrad/fundie influences continuing to strengthen but like#things are also better in a lot of areas#and no matter what everyone is speaking to me more politely since I moved#although it’s frustrating too bc#i nos feel like Im going crazy going this long without some undolicited Soul Concern email or anti gay email coming from my parents or#fight baiting coming from my sister#it’s weird#i feel like I made it all up since I haven’t gotten any evidence/proof now that I finally thought ‘i should document when they send me#stuff next time’ so I’d be able to confirm to myself that they DID say xyz things or w/ever#anyway NO SELF. LIFE IS GOOD AND WORTH LIVING AND YOU HAVE A DOG YOU COMMITTED TO AND YOUR URGES TO GO BE IN DANGER AND HURT DO NOT NEED TO#BE ACTED ON YOU CAN STOP FREAKING OUT ABT THEM THEY’RE CONSTRUCTION AND DEMO CRAP. CHILL. THEY’LL GO AWAY SOMEDAY#AND YOU ARE NOT AN OPINIONLESS KID WJEN YOU HO BACK YOU CAN LITERALLY JUST TELL PEOPLE NO#also don’t FUCKING forget to pick up a box of those cookies. future me I swear to god I’ve wanted them for like six months#if we come back to WA without them for another year#i will murder you I s2g#not really but I will be SO sad at some point this fall or winter#don’t make me sad#journal
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i’m sorry did they actually just say “lmao ash can’t possibly be wanting to actually use oshawott in this league battle, i bet it’s his throwaway for this round” as a quick gag. damn the anime really did shit all over team oshawott while it was airing
#snivy: got a really good personality and is consistently shown to be one of the better battlers while also being a good character#and its evolutions are also shown to be extremely competent and terrifying in the anime#tepig: got a really good abandonment trauma story (if rehashed) that was consistently handled well and is considered to be#one of ash's best pokemon in this gen#oshawott: lmao this thing fucking sucks. imagine ash actually using it and it being good. cringe.#isnt it also hilarious when we show it being beat up all the time. isnt it funny that its like a romancer and it starts all the conflicts#and the pokemon consistently agree its the most annoying and worst team member and make it the butt of every joke#even when we set it up to have some sort of good payoff we rarely actually do that bc we gotta keep the Funny (not funny)#also we're gonna debut samurott late in the anime and it's going to one of the worst recieved characters#im a little annoyed can you tell.#also im just realizing that they maybe added palpitoad so ash would have a ''legitimate'' water type to use this gen#i dont exactly have proof for that but suddenly im getting that vibe. suddenly i like that palpitad even less#echoed voice#pokeani lb#even as a kid i remember the way they treated oshawott upsetting me. especially in decolore they basically just make it piplup 2.0#where the joke is ''ha ha we beat up the small blue thing all the time and its funny bc its small and cute and its edgy to do that''#au where oshawott like. actually had that arc in operation tempest that i mentioned earlier#i like all thte unova starters im glad the other two at least got decent rep in the anime but the way they treated oshawott#literally like inspired ppl to say i was stupid for picking oshawott bc ''its weak and dumb in the anime''#like. man justice for oshawott
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tfw you wanna try to play ttrpgs again, but ever since playing a few years ago during a certain two campaigns, you were bullied by people who you thought were your friends because you didn't know how to play and they made up reasons why they should dislike you irl. especially while you tried to be nice to them and give them space and tried to make steps towards interacting with them in rp too.
like no, it wasn't like "oh, it's just character interaction, these characters just don't like each other!" no it was "no joke, I absolutely hate your guts, Miss Iodine, fuck you and I'll be an arse to you in-game and irl. i will ignore everything you and your character say, i will attack your character because why not and say it's just what my character would do, and then start harassing my DMs"
love it when i tried for months to reach out for a proper sit down only to be given a sorry-not-sorry half-assed push the blame onto the victim apology
like yes this lives rent free in my head. you won, if that's what you wanted.
#autumn says stuff#vent#im still so fuckin salty even though its been so long#i just don't understand how people can treat others so terribly and not even think twice about it#never a moment of ‟maybe I did wrong?‟#nah. just tell Miss Iodine ‟You're a problem‟#yes that exact statement was said to me#maybe ‟bully‟ is a cliche word but i dunno what else to call it#like mate i've been nearly stabbed before during what i can only assume was an attempted hate crime. technically i did get hurt ig because#grabbed the knife by the blade as it was being thrusted towards me. i still have the said knife btw. wanna get free knife? just grab it#from your attacker. and then they'll run off because they're a little shit. actually don't do that. don't recommend that. okay so the point#is that yk ive been hurt physically many times but goddamn this situation still hurts emotionally#it was funny when said someone in this group told me i was 'appropriating neurodivergent culture.' mate. mate. wot. im how?#take it from me. im not neurotypical lmao. i thought that was obvious but no. no idea where this even stemmed from tbh because it really#came out of nowhere. also being called a fascist for years by these people for liking worldbuilding and star trek was cool. didn't realize#that fuckin reading old soviet books and playing papers please and minecraft makes me a fascist somehow. but you learned it here.#im still so fucking pissed about that accusation. love that their additional reasoning that im somehow a fascist was that#‟you're getting mad and keep insisting you're not a fascist‟ is proof that you're a fascist. what else am i supposed to do? you haven't#even given an ounce of some so-called mountain of evidence.#its cool that no one cared about what these people did to me. better to retain a friendship with them and never bring up what they did.#better to just alienate miss iodine from the friend group. better to never bring it up. better to forget any of this happened. better to#forget that miss iodine exists.#sometimes i wish i could know what its like to not give a flying fuck about other people. I wonder what it's like to be such a shitty perso#fucking hell.#thought i found home when i first met that group. instead it just reminds me of the home i grew up in.#My biological family (save two cool cousins) is probably a collection of some of the worst people in existence.
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okayyyyyyyyyy got lost for 3 plus hours with half a tank of gas trying to find the closet rest stop to my work with shitty directions printed at the libaryyyyy staying with a friend tonight and then probably heading home to be talked into moving back tomorrow but aha i am the devil
#dont reblog im on a computer and cant figure this shit out#personal#assuming of course i didnt burn that bridge today#so my brother texted me asking like hey mom wants you to print this for her#and i was like you understand she kicked me out right. does she understand that#blow up on him and reveal how i feel like no one in the family actually loves me and while im not gonna do anything i wish i was never born#bc every aspect of life is so horrible and just keeps getting worse#dramatic but also look at my personal tag thats true. thats documented proof for like 10 years worth of data#i mean def better in some way worse in others despite it being one of the worst times of my life also doesnt feel that bad#my friend im staying with is telling to stay flat out#and like going into it and my other friends are enouchaging me to do so too but hehe imma victimize myself#unless of course theyre all done with me#but anyway go there dont print it bc internet is down and my mom is home and starts swinging verbally#even tho i said dont tell dad or the lady living with us but whatever. anyway so im like hey. no on forced you to kick me out thats on you#and shes like i said you can stay and im like after kicking me out#no one forced you to do any of this and gave her the phone and shes like keep it and iim like no you just asked for it#not to me but she was telling my brother she was gonna cut the line so i told her im returning it and she didnt correct me#anyway so i go to my room to grab some stuff and she follows me and is like you at least have to listen to me you owe me that much#im like i dont you owe you anything actually but god i feel awful#she blocked the door so i wouldnt leave and i was so angry i shoved her out of the way and she looked so genuinely shocked and ill be honest#ill be drinking tonight about that specifically#i ran out of there like a coward all angry with her yelling at me to listen#ii ended up coming back twice bc i left mail and two needed to contact my friend so i could stay over and dang she dont answer random s#just barely missed her but saw that she said lets talk when i get home and my brother begging me for a way to contact me bc hes worried#weeeeeeeeee this all over me calling out with hours
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the whole callout and harassment obsession lately makes me sure that kids don’t realize how social media is going to impact their future. if you are bullying people and spreading misinformation online using your name then your future potential employers will see that. you will not be hired. or, if you are, then one day someone will dig your receipts up too and you’ll be fired. you get excited finding receipts of random bullshit from years ago and ruin people with it for fun but that is going to happen to you too if you don’t learn to stop being obsessed with the giddy enjoyment you get out of hurting people with “no consequences”
#and the people who think oh it’s fine. i can get away with it by using burner accounts#by doing that you further perpetuate this toxic behavior and neglect your own growth making you immature for longer#and by perpetuating these things you set yourself up for failure in the future bc these ppl who do the same thing you do#will turn around and harass and ruin your life too if you do one thing they don’t like. or even just for no reason at all!#also you will learn that your receipt digging and hive mind behavior do not actually make you right or smart or better than anyone#spreading shit you don’t have any proof of just because so#someone* you follow claimed it to be true actually ruins any ethos you need to be taken seriously as an adult
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do you remember back in december when i was brought on for this rebrand and had to like. rewrite this entire brand direction and voice in the span of a month. and then i had to write every single piece of text on their website in like two months. and then i was like "i hate this client!!! i hate this account!!" well maybe giving birth feels like that because now i love this account more than anything. this client is my baby. i will drop anything to do work for it
#they're having a huge national conference we're all freaking scrambling etc#i have a social writer who asked me for a consult for some copy she's working on and usually i'm stoked to work with her#because it's so fucking rare in marketing to find a writer who actually wants edits. but she loves when im constructive#because she knows it gets the client a better product and she wants to improve her writing and everything so it's like. idk it reminds#me of teaching a bit. anyway. i miss working with composition students ough#i literally have not given her post more than a fleeting thought because i was like oh? a 40 page ppt to proof for [BELOVED CLIENT]?#don't mind if i do B) ugh today's such a good day at work i love when i can do my job#i love when they let the editor edit
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idk what the timeline is but i might be getting to take a bird home 😳
#shhh sharkie#there’s a bird at work they’re looking to deaccession (aka remove from the collection and send home w/ someone)#and that someone might be me!!!#she’s a cockatiel and she can’t be on exhibit or be bred with any of our males so she’s just kinda hanging out in backup#but she’s super sweet and social and she loves me a lot#and my big boss was finally like ‘if you’re serious about this send me an email with her details and i’ll see what i can do’#sent that email yesterday 😳#gotta work on bird-proofing my house now just in case#omg omg omg i would be so happy!!!#i have like no money rn but i’ll work on that part later idk what the timeline is anyway it might be a while#i think having a little creature to take care of would actually help me a lot with some of this executive dysfunction#might also make me eat better lol if i have to get produce for her anyway
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out of context things heard in wayne manor:
bruce: i understand, but pretending you cooked jerry the turkey is not a proportionate response to damian calling you a peasant again
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jason: look there’s a right way and a wrong way to make food. there’s also the bruce way, which is the wrong way except faster and worse
duke: *frantically scribbling notes*
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tim: do you think our relationship was kinda like incest now?
steph, horrified: never open your mouth in my presence again timothy
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dick: so then he’s like—guys. guys are you seriously signing about me in front of my face. i learned it too—hey i do NOT have a butt chin take that back—
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damian: i don’t understand, why does he wear such a ridiculous hat? is it like that margaret poppins woman grayson showed me?
tim, who watched the live action cat in the hat too much as a kid and is about to violently infodump: well you see-
dick: oh god it’s too late
jason: yeah the brats on his own for this one i’m not fucking dealing with that again
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bruce: are you lying?
tim: always. anyway, like i was saying—
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steph: hey what’s up with you and all the redheads
dick: …i’m not discussing this with you
steph, starting to chase him: gingervitus is a serious affliction! you cant run from this
dick, sprinting away: yes the fuck i can
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duke: so is anyone gonna talk about the elephant in the room…
dick:
dick: look i was feeling sentimental and zitka jr. really isn’t any trouble
damian: she is magnificent
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tim: so i dropped out and
duke: wait we can drop out of high school??!!?
bruce: NO.
duke: please bruce ap biology is beating my ass right now
jason: nah tim just got to drop cause bruce was dead and he’s a loser. the real problem is what you’re reading in ap lit right now, because i have thoughts on that curriculum—
duke: i’m not even gonna use half that material in the real world
tim: actually most of our villains have PhDs so their plans are based on pretty real science
duke: not helping timothy
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cass, signing: why are brothers on the ceiling?
jason: tims in timeout from working on his caseload
cass, still confused: yes but why taped to the ceiling
duke: listen if you know a better way of restraining his psycho ass then i’m all ears
cass: and damian?
jason: oh he saw this as free range target practice so he had to go up there too
cass: they are plotting revenge up there
duke: think of it as brotherly bonding
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damian: it’s not my fault he got in the way
bruce: you threw an eclair at lex luthor
damian: i was aiming for drake
tim: bruce we can’t take him anywhere
dick, holding back laughter: timmy you paid four separate people to come to the gala solely to ask lex if they could use his head to see if they had something in their teeth
tim: you have no proof that was me
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duke: look steph, it’s not that we don’t want to help with this
jason: i don’t want to help
duke: it’s more that i don’t think we can physically fit that many people in a shopping cart, and your whole plan kind of hinges on that
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alfred: i’m not mad, just disappointed in you.
every batkid, near tears: sorry alfred
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jason: HE HAD DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY AS THE FUCKING WHAT—
bruce: listen—
tim, mouth full and brain empty: the ambassador to iran. crazy right?
dick: tim please
#batfam#dc#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#duke thomas#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#damian wayne#batfamily#batman
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