guess who gets to have chipotle today

how I lost 20 lbs in 2 months

Disclaimer: This is what worked for me! I’m obviously not a dietician or fitness instructor. Attempt all of this at your own risk.

Do you feel like you’re doomed to weigh the same forever? Do you feel out of control while eating sometimes? Do you want to cry when looking in the mirror? I felt the exact same way before developing healthy eating habits and an exercise routine over the summer. I’m 5′7 and weighed 136 lbs from the time I was like 10 all the way up to 17. I got a job at a shitty fast food restaurant in high school, stopped playing sports and got all the way up to 190. Went to college, got slightly more active, and stayed at 185ish for about 4 years. 

I started this being not active whatsoever and ate whatever was around. Now I’m 160 - only another 10 lbs from my goal weight. I took about a two month break of actively trying to lose weight due to school starting up again (final semester of college thank god) but I’m heading back to the gym tomorrow to start it up again.

So basically I’m gonna drop what I ate a variation of every single day and my exercise routine and some tips. 

Part I - Food

Food will make or break a healthy lifestyle. One unhealthy meal won’t make you fat, but one healthy meal won’t make you skinny. The key is to have accessible meals that are small and packed with good nutrition to keep you as full as possible. The days where you’ll have the most difficulty with this are days when you’ll forget your breakfast/lunch at home. 

Examples of breakfast...

(1) Jimmy Dean Egg Delights English Muffin - this was a favorite because it’s made with whole grains, turkey sausage and egg whites. These are all healthy and yummy alternatives to fatty regular sausage and unhealthy white bread. 250 calories.

(2) Scrambled eggs and (1) piece of wheat toast - This is what I would buy at work if I forgot my lunch at home. Still nutritional and delicious, but not ideal because of yolks. Also, where’s the fruit? About 260 calories.

(1/2) cup of oatmeal with (1 thicc) tbsp of peanut butter, along with cinnamon and blueberries - Oh man I ate this one for the longest time! The key to eating peanut butter is to stop eating brands like JIF or Skippy. They’re loaded with all kinds of sugar and other ingredients you don’t need. Find peanutbutter (or your favorite nut butter) that has only 2 ingredients: nuts and water. You won’t miss the sugar and it’s way better for you! I gravitated towards Smucker’s Natural Creamy Peanut Butter because it’s less than $4, even though it had some salt in the ingredients as well. About 260 calories.

(1) boiled egg, (1) plum, and (1) oatmeal cookie - Not my favorite to do because it involved baking oatmeal cookies and I am lazy. The oatmeal cookie recipe was basically wheat flour, applesauce, coconut sugar, cinnamon, almond milk, olive oil and baking powder. The whole batch lasted about a week. About 190 calories.

I typically ate breakfast at 9 a.m. every weekday. Every breakfast was accompanied by a big, hot coffee with half and half, or if I was at home, my favorite Nut Pods Original creamer. Coffee is an appetite suppressant and aids with helping someone focus, so drinking that in the morning with a relatively low calorie breakfast was a great way to start the day and help me focus on work until lunch time. I usually get hungry at around 1 - 2 and bust out my lunch. 

Examples of lunch...

(2) pieces of wheat bread with a handful of spinach leaves, 2 pieces of ham, mustard and a cup of unsweetened applesauce on the side. Have water or sparkling water on the side. Easy to make when running out the door because you overslept. About 400 calories.

(2) pieces of sunflower seed bread, (2) pieces of ham, (1) piece of swiss cheese, (1) low fat Babybel Spreadable cheese, handful of cherries. I ate this the longest because it made me feel like a faerie eating various fruits and cheeses with bread in the woods when I was actually sitting in a cubicle. About 350 calories.

After lunch I would stay at work til 5:30/6, then head to the gym and work out. I’ll cover my (simple) workout routine next but I’m going to skip to dinner for now.

Examples of dinner...

Eggroll in a bowl with ground turkey or tofu instead of ground pork/beef is heavenly and guilt-free

Sopa is a Mexican dish my boyfriend’s dad makes pretty often so I decided to take a crack at it. You can truly make this dish however you like it. I added diced chicken, whole wheat pasta spirals, and tons more spices and veggies than the recipe linked did. This stuff is amazing and lasted me like 2 weeks. 

Veggie spaghetti. Heavily inspired by Sarah Hawkinson’s famous spaghetti. I recommend watching her video and adding any types of veggies you think would be best. My tip for staying health-conscious when making spaghetti is to boil a little bit of pasta every meal so I’m not tempted to eat a ton of the protein pasta. 

Rotisserie chicken and fruit. Like I said, I’m extremely lazy and some days after working out I just wanna inhale protein and carbs. 

Bag of popcorn. Not recommended but sometimes the laziness surpasses “rotisserie chicken and fruit” lazy. Orville Redenbacker’s Naturals Lightly Salted popcorn is where it’s at.

Most of my days would end anywhere from 800 - 1000 calories. Coupled with my exercise routine, I was well below my recommended calorie intake. I had tried to stick to the recommended calories for someone my height in the past with no success. This is what worked for me. 

General tips on food...

Only drink unsweetened drinks like water, unsweet tea and sparkling flavored water. Don’t use a lot of sugar in coffee, and make it dairy free if possible. I know I feel like a whale after ingesting dairy and I’m not even lactose intolerant.

Are you on your period and need chocolate asap? Unsweetened dark chocolate bars (70% cacao) and chocolate Halo Top (320 cal for the whole pint - worth it once a month if you’re dying) are your best friends.

If you’re going drinking with friends avoid sweetened drinks like margaritas or heavy drinks like beer. Stick with vodka sodas.

My only snacks were popcorn and fruit and even then I didn’t eat them that much. Get out of the habit of snacking, as well as eating big meals.’

On the weekends I would stray from the meals listed above a little! I would eat the same breakfast, camp out at a cafe and read for about 6 hours and have a lunch of a big mocha latte and 2 macarons, then have a small bowl of pho for dinner. Replacing a good lunch with coffee isn’t ideal, but I made sure not to overeat during dinner time to make up for it! Portion sizes is such a huge thing to be mindful of. Always get a smaller portion than you think you will want, focus on the taste of the food and how your body feels, and you’ll be sure to not overeat. Be content, not full.

Part II - Exercise

I initially started working out because I don’t want to get into the habit so many people have of going to work in an office all day then go home and sitting some more. This was partially easy to do because I worked in an office that had a fully furnished gym so it was easy to just move from the office to the gym at 6 p.m. 

I have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) so I workout to keep that in check, as well. I’ve found that making my body so exhausted it can’t literally vibrate in anxiety is a good way to make life bearable. 

So here’s the machine’s I use...

Manual treadmill - my absolute FAVORITE machine of all time. Relatively new technology, and absurdly expensive to purchase for a home gym. (They’re like $5k!) The gym had a few and you burn soooo many more calories on this machine versus a traditional electric treadmill, and it doesn’t make my knees ache the way a treadmill does. Be prepared for your calves to burn like Hades for the first few weeks if you take on my exercise schedule.

Elliptical - nothing makes me sweat like a pig more than the elliptical with a cranked up resistance. I always make sure to alternate between propelling myself forward with my arms and my legs to ensure I’m getting a tough workout in.

Stationary bike - the one where you can lean back and pedal away while reading a book. There’s nothing like finishing a stressful day at work, listening to some Stellamara and reading a good book while exercising. This is my favorite machine for non-exercise reasons because I can read for hours and justify it because it’s healthy.

Aaaand that’s about it. I hear conflicting arguments of how weight lifting is better for you and you burn more weight and blah blah blah but I just prefer cardio and these machines worked for me really well.

Here’s what my typical exercise schedule looked like...

Day 1

2 mi on manual treadmill

2 mi on elliptical

Day 2

2 mi on manual treadmill

∞ mi on stationary bike (I don’t keep track because I’m reading but it’s usually upward of 7)

And alternate through every weekday. On average I would burn 500 - 700 calories per day. 

General tips for fitness...

Find something that you can seamlessly incorporate into your daily routine. The goal of working out should, in part, be about incorporating a healthier lifestyle. Working out shouldn’t trigger and “Ugh I gotta workout I guess” mentality because you’re basically guaranteeing yourself to fail later on, especially if the only person motivating you to workout is yourself. Tell yourself, “I went to [school, work, other mandatory activity], now I’m going to go workout because that is my schedule.” and stick to it. Before you know it your body will be craving exercise and the schedule will be easier to maintain than ever. 

Listen to your body if something hurts. Treadmills hurt my knees, ankles and hips a ton. That’s one of the main reasons I switched to the manual treadmill. 

You don’t need to buy a new wardrobe to workout in, but find clothes that are suitable for the activity you’re doing. Since I only do cardio, I stick to leggings, a fitted tank top and Nikes made specifically for running. Footwear is extremely important when working out! 

Find something that drives you to work out. For me, sure working out is fun, but it’s mainly my excuse to read. I feel so guilty when I read - I feel like I should be cleaning, doing homework, hanging out with my boyfriend, etc. But when I work out the world goes away and I can finally enjoy the story guilt free. Maybe you feel that way about watching shows or listening to podcasts - give it a try! Your brain will associate the two activities and it’ll help you not only crave exercise, but you have an excuse to enjoy the activity as well.

The most important tip I can offer throughout all of this is to not weigh yourself for the first month or so. Weighing myself constantly was always my downfall when I tried dieting and exercising before. I’d either get impatient and give up, or get complacent and tell myself I could skip the gym or eat poorly because I saw results. Give yourself a solid four weeks to put in the time and sweat five times a week and completely change your eating habits. Your body will grow stronger and you’ll feel yourself grow more confident. You’ll have done such an amazing job that when you step on the scale at the end of the month you’ll never want to go back to your old way of living again.

Remember that weight loss is a journey and everybody goes at their own pace. Not eating/regurgitating food/binging isn’t the way to achieve your goal body long-term. Developing a healthy way of eating and a manageable exercise goal is - and if I can do it, I know you can too :)

The Ink Demonth- Day 25- Lonely

I’m Watching the Sea

A/N: Ah man, I have been waiting for this day for so long in order to write this one. Ever since I saw this lovely piece from Doberart for the Bioshock au, I’ve been dying to write a little something for it, and this prompt was just perfect. I’ve been listening to I Cover the Waterfront for WEEKS thinking about writing this one-shot (which you can listen to for yourself here). Ross in this au belongs to @doberart and making brief cameos in this are @inkspottie’s Henry/Alpha and @trashboatprince’s Delta. And just a heads up, I refer to Dober’s Henry as Ross except for when I switch to Linda’s point of view, cause it would be kind of weird if she referred to her husband by their last name. Hopefully, that’s not too confusing. I’m actually pretty pleased with this piece, so I hope you enjoy~

A giant squid ideally drifted past, it’s large eye peering in through the window at the abandoned lounge where Ross and his newfound companions had chosen to rest for the night. Not that Ross could even be sure it was truly night, this far under the ocean. He doubted the few clocks he had seen since returning to Rapture Studios were accurate. Regardless, they weren’t going to be making any more progress today. Since he had run into Henry, Delta, and Bendy, Ross found that they were able to take on more of the splicers and searchers that constantly crossed their path but they also seemed to attract more of them too. They were all exhausted, each one sporting new injuries from the various denizens of this forsaken studio. There wasn’t a single part of Ross that didn’t ache, and the various cuts on his face throbbed painfully. They had been lucky to find this lounge when they did, all four of them exhausted from their hellish trek through the studio. Henry had collapsed on the first open couch he saw, and Ross could see the tuffs of his light greying hair from where he was sitting. Delta was snoring away on another coach to the right of him, with Bendy curled up on his lap like a cat. But while the other three had no trouble falling asleep, Ross couldn’t seem to get his tired body to rest. It was probably for the best, as while they had barricaded the doors, they would never be truly safe in Rapture.

Ross rubbed a tired hand over his face as the soft sounds of a nearby jukebox filled the air. The real reason he couldn’t rest wasn’t out of a need to keep watch, but because he couldn’t stop thinking of the reason he had returned to this cursed studio in the first place. Linda, his wonderful wife and honestly the best thing to have ever happened to him, had been kidnapped by his former ‘friend’, Joey Drew. When Ross finally found the man, he was going to wring the man’s damn neck for going after Linda. The last thing Ross wanted was for her to see this awful place, full of so much despair and depravity. All Ross wanted to do was gather his wife up in his arms and never have to see Rapture again. But he didn’t even know if his wife was safe, or what Joey could be doing to her right now. While Linda was usually more than capable of handling herself, Joey was a true monster and Ross hated to think what he might have up his sleeve.

As Ross stared out at the seascape, lost in thought, a familiar song started playing on the jukebox.

“Away from the city that hurts and mocks

I’m standing alone by the desolate docks

In the still and the chill of the night~”

Ross’s hand fell from his face as he turned to where the music was emanating from. He knew this song, it was one of his and Linda’s favorites. Ross felt his whole body sag, the weight of missing his wife heavier than it had ever been.

“I see the horizon, the great unknown

My heart has an ache, it’s as heavy as stone

Will the dawn coming on make it light?~”

Ross turned his gaze back to the window, the lights from various neon signs lighting up the seafloor. Despite how ruined this place was, the view was still something to behold. Ross wondered just where Linda was right now, and if she could see this view too. Were they staring out at the sea at the same time? Ross had no way of knowing, but he kind of hoped that was true. He prayed that wherever his wife was that she wasn’t hurt and that he would be with her soon.

“I cover the waterfront~” Ross found himself softly singing along to the song, as he watched the seaweed outside slowly sway with the ocean currents. “I’m watching the sea~” As Ross sang along, a little head perked up and Bendy’s tail flickered as he opened his eyes. As the Little Devil blinked, his eyes went from ominous white voids to simple pie cut eyes, and he looked over at Ross from across the room.

“Soldier Dad?” Bendy’s voice was heavy with sleep as he rubbed one of his eyes and let out a huge yawn.

“Sorry Bendy, did I wake you up?” Ross turned his gaze over to the Little Devil and smiled sheepishly. “Didn’t mean to be so loud, I’ll keep it down.”

“It’s okay.” Bendy carefully climbed off of Delta’s lap. Delta’s forehead wrinkled and he frowned in his sleep but showed no other sign of wakefulness as the Little Devil scampered over to Ross. “Your singing voice is nice,” Bendy commented as he pulled himself up onto the couch next to Ross.

“Heh, thanks, Bendy.” Ross smiled down at the devil and rubbed the space between his horns. “You should get some sleep though, we’re gonna have a hell of a day tomorrow.”

“Mmmmmm,” Bendy hummed in contentment and snuggled up next to Ross. “I’m ready for dream time, Mr. H,” Bendy murmured before his eyes slowly shut and he drifted off.

Ross’s gaze softened as he looked down at the sleeping devil, holding him close, before turning his eyes back to the window. “Heh, me too kid, me too.”

—

The cityscape beneath the depths of the sea was truly a sight to behold. It was too bad Linda couldn’t fully appreciate it as she was being held against her will. Linda let out a weary sigh as she approached the large window overlooking the studio. While what little she had seen of Joey’s penthouse was certainly luxurious, Linda wanted out of this damn place as soon as possible. She remembered from what her husband had told her that Joey was a snake and after having met the man personally she couldn’t agree with him more. She turned her head slightly to glare back up at the balcony where Joey was enjoying a lavish meal while nervous butlers waited on his every need. A couple of spliced up bodyguards stood behind him a few more covered every exit to Joey’s penthouse. The guards were merely extra muscle though, from Linda could tell Joey was a force to be reckoned with all on his own. While she hated sitting and waiting around here, there was little she could do until she saw an opening.

Linda turned away from her captor in disgust and back out at the ocean. She pressed her hand against the cool glass as she watched a shark cruise by and a giant squid drifted down into the ocean’s depths. Where was her husband in this labyrinth of a studio? Joey had taunted her earlier, saying that they had spotted him on some security camera footage and that he had placed a huge bounty on his head. Joey had sneered at her and said that her loving husband would most likely be dead by morning but Linda hadn’t risen to his bait. She knew her Henry, and he could take care of himself just fine. She was certain he was alive somewhere out there, but she knew the danger he faced would be grave. Was he hurt? Was he lost? Linda hated to think of how worried he must be right now, especially after seeing the state their house was left in after Joey had abducted her. The poor man had already been through so much, with both escaping this awful place when he was younger and fighting in the war that swept the world not long afterward.

As Linda stared out at the city, lost in thought, a familiar song came over the radio. Her eyes widened in recognition. While she loved this song, her heart ached hearing it now. It only reminded her how much she missed her husband, his warm smile, his arms around her. She bit her lip, trying to remain stoic. She didn’t want to give her captor the satisfaction of seeing her breakdown, even if she felt like she was dying inside. She had to stay strong, even find a way out of here if she could. She knew Henry would come for her, but she wasn’t content to sit around while he risked life and limb to save her. She was going to make Joey regret kidnapping her and dragging her husband back to this hell a second time. For now, though, she had to be patient, wait for the right moment to throw a wrench into Joey’s plan. As the music went on, Linda let it wash over her, praying that her husband was safe and that she would see him again soon.

“Will the one I love…

be coming back to me?~” 

Dear Pippa,

I guess I’m writing for a few different reasons. One of them, is to say sorry. I’m sorry for coming into your life and throwing you off-course. I’m sorry for being someone you didn’t anticipate, and bringing changes you maybe weren’t ready for. I’m sorry for not being the perfect person for you. But, even so, I strongly believe that I am still your person, and you are mine.

I think one of the ways I changed things for you, and I’ve always known this, was the way I helped to alter what the image of a family is. You always had this idea stuck in your head, and fucking hell did it piss me off. Just this image of a man and a woman and two kids, and that was it. That was all a family was and ever could be, and you were so wrong, and I’m sorry I had to be such a dick about proving that to you. But families are not that one dimensional, you know that now. Whether it’s two dads, two mums, divorced parents, parents who never got married, people who didn’t even know their biological mum or dad, they still have incredible families. But I’m glad you see that now. I’m glad you know that just because a family is fucked up, doesn’t mean it’s bad. Because we’ve got a lot of different examples, especially now we’re older, and we get to see all our friends making their own families. Because everything worked out for everyone, and it’s beautiful to witness. It’s nice that we get to see everyone being so happy. Zayn and Ringo getting married last year, Louis finally figuring his shit out with that girl he’s been obsessed with for years, and don’t tell me I’m the only one seeing sparks fly between Tally and your friend Jamie from home? Even when your mum remarried, and you were nothing but happy for her. A few years ago, it would have upset you, but you’ve grown so much. Even Grace and Ed. I know we all struggled with that at first, but they love each other so much, and they’ve helped each other, too. They work so well together, and they’ve found such a genuine happiness in one another. She told me the other day that she’s going to name the baby Mike. So maybe nothing worked out exactly like we thought it would, but it doesn’t mean it’s not perfect. And I know you tried to hide it at the time, but I knew you were upset when you found out you were pregnant. I knew it wasn’t exactly how you’d seen things going, but she’s perfect anyway, isn’t she? I remember on our graduation day, when you were hiding your baby-bump under that gown because you weren’t ready to tell anyone, and I got to simply stare at you for a while. I just watched you, and I felt so proud of you for getting a First, and I felt so proud of you that you’d just gotten your first photography job, and I felt so proud of you for being so strong. I remember it so clearly, watching you pulling that gown around your middle, hiding the life that was growing inside of you, and realising that the main thing I was feeling, was happiness. Of course I was scared, terrified even, but I was so happy. I guess it happened a little sooner than I thought it would, but I knew I’d start a family with you. Now we have Emmy, and she’s so amazing and I just think, what if we had waited? What if it hadn’t all happened the way it did and we didn’t have her? I couldn’t imagine my life without her and I don’t want to. I know it wasn’t our plan, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s perfect. Everything that happened is perfect and wonderful, and I know you see it the same way. It took you a while, a lot longer than it took me, but I know you do. There are times when you struggle. We both struggle. Things aren’t always easy, but you work so hard, and I don’t think you could be doing a better job than you are. So I really hate it when you get upset. The other week when I got home from work, and found you crying on our living room floor, I swear my heart stopped. It probably shouldn’t have, since you do cry a lot, but just seeing you sat there crying, looking so lonely. It killed me. I hate it when I’m not there for you. And you shouldn’t have cried. It’s okay that we had nothing in and you gave Emmy chocolate cake for breakfast. You both loved it, right? She asked why you were having a morning party, and you were happy and she was happy and it was such a real moment that you got to share with our daughter. No one is the perfect parent, and you shouldn’t doubt yourself just because you did something a little frivolous and silly. You should never cry just because you had a moment of slight insanity. Embrace it, and stop convincing yourself that you have to be perfect for her. I’ve never told you this, but you know when she went through that stage of waking up in the middle of the night just wanting to go on the swings? Well one night, she came into our room, and I stirred, and she asked me if she could go play on the swings. It was 3.a.m. and I did it. I just took her into the back garden, and pushed her on the swings for an hour, until I noticed she was fast asleep and I was still pushing her back and forth. I shouldn’t have done it, but I did and I don’t regret it. No one has this figured out, we just all kind of figure it out along the way, trust me. You’re the best example of a mother I’ve ever been lucky enough to see, and I don’t want you to doubt that for a second. She loves you, you know? Our little girl might be the only person in the world who loves you more than I do. You’ve done such an amazing job with her. I feel really grateful that we both have jobs where we do what we love, and get to spend so much time with our daughter too. Seeing the two of you together is the best thing. I can barely fathom my luck. I can’t even explain the way my heart bursts whenever I see her sleeping, Lulu and Luke the penguins tucked under each arm. Your mum let me look at your baby photos the last time we went to see her, and Emmy looks just like you did. If she turns out to be half as beautiful as you are, then we’re in for a world of trouble. She’s already a handful, and I wouldn’t change her for the world. I can’t even get over how fucked up and spectacular our family is. It’s literally the best bunch of misfits I’ve ever seen in my life. Emmy told me she likes to make the kids at nursery jealous, because she has four grandads, and most of her friends only have two. There’s not a single section of our family that represents that ideal you used to look up to, and I love that. I guess I’m also writing to say that I want to change our family. I love it, of course I do, but I want to marry you. You told me last year that you didn’t think I’d ever ask, laughing as you said I’d just think it was a waste of money and we’re perfect anyway, which let’s be honest, is completely true, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it. I want to stand in front of everyone we love and tell them how much you mean to me, I want to make this as official as it can possibly be and promise to you that I’ll never leave. And it’s not just because I know you want it, because I want it just as much, I promise you. I want to kiss you and hold you and declare it to every fucker in the world that you’re mine. You have been for years now, you always will be. I want to hold you, I want to be able to call you my wife, I want to fulfil the dream you’ve had all these years, I want to kiss you on the dancefloor whilst we have our first dance to Songbird and I want I want I want I want… I want everything I do to be shared with you in some way, Pippa. I know this is probably one of the least romantic ways of asking you to marry me, but it felt like just using four words and lighting some candles wasn’t enough. I felt like I had more to say, words I knew I’d stumble over and forget if I tried to do this to your face. I’ve already done the typical thing and asked your dad, and he’s happy. Like, really happy. Your dad believes in true love more than anyone I know, so I was pretty honoured when he seemed so chuffed that I want to marry you. There is real beauty in the way we love each other. It’s beyond anything I’ve known. I once worried that I’d met you too soon; that time would rip us apart somewhere along the line, but it never did. It never will. Time is a concept, and we’re not. I’ve learnt over the years that we are stronger than it. I guess I just never thought I’d move into your flat when I was eighteen years old, and never not live with you again, especially after the way things started. I realised the other day, than in just over ten years, I’ll have spent more of my life living with you than I will have without. In just three years, I’ll have lived with you for as long as I lived with my dad’s. This is the kind of stuff I think about when I can’t sleep, and then this warm feeling takes over me, and I can drift away. I truly love you, Pip-Squeak. I know I tell you all the time, but we’ve been together for years now, since we were teenagers, and sometimes it feels like you don’t hear me. You forget how much it actually means. I am so in love with you, so in love with our family and so in awe of everything we’ve become over the years. You make me look forward to everything, you even make me look forward to being withered and old because I know we’ll be one of those cute old couples who hold and hands and go out for meals, the couples we see that make you cry in public. I want everything with you, that’s how much I love you. I’ll always aim to make you the happiest person in the world, because you do that to me without even trying. I love you. I love you. I fucking love you. I think I’ve rambled on a bit here, so maybe it’s best if I just end this with those four words that aren’t quite enough, but maybe they do help me sum this whole thing up. Will you marry me?

An Open Letter To My Best Friend.

We met at work. For some reason, you had that familiarity; something I always wanted to be around. I had plenty in common with you, and I wanted something permanent; seemingly even if that was friendship. I wasn’t ready to think about dating someone for a long while. However you were there, I do believe without even realizing it, the biggest being my grandmother. She passed before we ever thought about dating. Truth be told you were casually there while I was going through a very hard time. Words of encouragement, planning movie days and lunch plans. When I look back on those few weeks before we ever started dating, I realize that would be the moment I would know I wanted you around permanently. God placed you in my life for the best reason. You were my redemption.

October:

               We spent a lot of this month at the beginning, pretending that the things we did together weren’t dates. Though we count almost every single one as a date now. I mean, those were unofficial dates, spending time officially getting to know one another. Spending money on six dollar coffees, and telling people that these weren’t dates. Claiming it was just a friendship, because hey. It was 2017, that’s a thing, right? Everyone else knew though, it just took us a little time to realize.

We seemingly clicked right away. Catching me off guard for half a second. I never expected to find someone who’d get me like you do. Oversharing is something, and I happened to do that lot in the first few weeks. Which I was okay with, and you were okay with. Our first date, I will never forget. Going to a scary theme park in October, smartest move ever. What topped all that, was the fact you asked me on a date, when we were in fact already on a date; your awkwardness was endearing. Then there was the fact you had no idea whether it really WAS a date and proceeded to have an entire explanation planned if I had said no, on why we should date, leaving you speechless when I did say yes. Which to this day, is my all-time favorite memory we share. That night you showed me how much you were into me, as I was into you. You really wanted it to work. As did I.

October 27th 2017. Marked our incredible journey together.

 November:

               This is the month we spent the most time getting to know one another. Sure, I was still working full time and you were at school constantly. We made things work. This is the month we went on our second (as much as I despised this date, an awkward date always must ensue) and third date. This was also the month, you’d causally meet my mother and step-father.

That same month, we had our first kiss. The most ridiculous kisses we’ve shared. Yet, it has been my favorite to date. Sometimes I still think about how I pulled away as fast as possible, and then ran into the front door. Part of me was terrified, the other part incredibly flustered as I didn’t want anything to ruin that moment. There I went though, running into doors and making it one of the funniest memories ever. We laugh about it to this day. I believe this is the month you casually met my mother and step father. Very casually, we were on the couch, Mom was making dinner and holding an interesting conversation with you. Ronnie came home and firmly shook your hand, he claims he tried being intimidating but I figure he just looks like a puppy and that’s a little hard for him sometimes.

Notable things this month:

The goofy couch picture

Still one of my favorite pictures to this day. I mean it is hanging out on my laptop.

  December:

The absolute most amazing date ever came out of this month. We went for coffee and walked the boardwalk. This has always been something I had on a dating bucket list. Snow, with coffee, and cold noses? Cutest thing to ever exist. I will say every date we’ve had is my favorite until the day we die but this one was INCREDIBE. All I remember is we were talking about prom, I was talking about my embarrassing photos I had taken, but you insisted I probably looked stunning regardless. I remember pulling out my phone to prove a point, I never even got that far. You wrapped your arms around my waist and buried your face into my shoulder. Squeezing as hard as possible. “I know you looked beautiful.” I will never ever forget that moment. Ever.  

Another thing I’ll never forget you said to me that month:

“No girl has ever made me feel the way you do.”

I still think about it to this day, when I’m feeling exceptionally down. My heart is fluttering while I type this. You showed me that I meant the world to you, so early in our relationship. I will never ever forget that. Even better yet. This is the month, you would find out that I was Bisexual. You were so calm and regal about it. You took it very well, and maybe it freaked you out a little, but your reaction meant the world to me. You were one of the few people who knew, and you knowing also helped push me to tell my parents.

Other noteworthy things you said this month:

“I’m happy to have met you. And kissed you.”

 January:

This might have been the month, where I fell. I fell hard. You were doing things to my heart, and my mind. You were bringing out the best in me. I knew this month you had me, and you had me good. I started really liking you. My mom asked me later this month that she knew I loved you, and if we had said those three special words. I told her no, these things take time. I was okay with that though. I knew we’d say it when we were both ready. This is also the month we exchanged Christmas gifts. Plus your birthday gifts. We both know I went all out, but it’s not a secret I love Christmas. The look on your face when you pulled out that watch, was the highlight of the holiday, and that month. I will never forget how excited you were. You were that thing almost constantly after I got it for you. Then there’s the fact of the beautiful necklace and earring that you gave, I wasn’t joking when I said I’d where them every single day. And I do, and every single time I tug on the necklace or someone tells me how pretty the set is, it reminds me of you. How grateful I am for you and how much I love you .

New Year’s Eve. You came over, and we spent our Midnight together. I will never forget the way you clicked with my little sister, the two of you got along so well that night. The smallest of kisses at midnight when the clock struck 12.

My New Year wish, will never be said out loud. All I’ll say is that so far, this midnight wish has become the biggest of realities in many ways.

I will always be grateful for that. The end of the night was almost the best part. Three in the morning, your kisses were even softer than normal, gentle and loving. That night, I talked about you for two hours straight after you had left. This is the month you challenged me. You pushed me, not outright of course, to sign up for classes. Which was amazing. You have become the best influence in my life. The even better and bigger, and more notable challenge was when you got me to go to church with you. Now that. That was incredible, and I sometimes still lose my breath thinking about it.

 February:

I remember this is the month that your Grandpa had gone into heart surgery, and I remember wanting t just constantly be around you. I was worried and from having dealt with something like this in my family, I had a good reason. I remember promising you that we would get through this together, and that I would be with you during every step, no matter the outcome. I remember promising this three times in one day that week. I also would meet them as well, and sure maybe it wasn’t under the best circumstances but your grandmother was a lovely person.

This was the month of Valentines Day. I remember I had told you that I never really liked this holiday, claiming it was superficial. Though when the month rolled around, I felt much better about. Maybe because I was in such a loving and caring relationship it felt right and real. The fourteenth rolled around, and we walked around the grocery store, and prepared to cook an amazing dinner. We later spent that time blaring a playlist, that I had specifically made for us around December, and cooked an incredibly delicious meal. You told me that night, you had never done anything like this before on Valentines Day. My heart kind of sunk at that statement.

I couldn’t ever understand how any female couldn’t just not give you the world, I’m glad I can be that female though.

 March:

               March was the month that your mom wound up in the hospital, I was at work when you called and my entire being freaked out. I don’t remember if it was Levi or Wyatt but they absolutely helped me stay calm, I remember I got home and spent the remainder of the day in full on worry mode, telling mom that if you needed me at any point throughout the night or day, I’d be gone in three seconds. I spent most of the evening parked on the couch, at one point I fell asleep and woke up to a text, from you saying you’d be heading home. That moment was relieving because I at least knew she’d be leaving the hospital and seemed safe.

  This is also the month my mom and I got into a fight, a massively big one. One that you’ve never experienced while being around. I mean, I was shaking and sobbing and crying in front of you. I didn’t know what to do, but you seemed to take it with a level head, and I very much appreciate that. This is one of the moments  I would realize how amazing you truly were, how much I loved you. The situation wasn’t ideal but you still took care of me. You’d meet my dad a couple of weeks later. An interesting time for sure, and I’m so grateful that I reached out to him, and you were able to meet him. So maybe March was the most memorable, but the end of it was amazing. I mean, after that night I knew that I was hooked, that I wanted you around for a long while, and that this was the real deal.

 April:

This is my favorite month to date. We’ve done so much this month, multiple exciting activities and about a hundred hikes. We’ve spent a lot of time with friends, and that’s made this month even more amazing. The beginning of the month was my favorite, saying I love you for the first time, is kind of an important thing, and sure when you said it, it was super casual and weird and threw me for a tailspin the following couple of hours but it made my heart beat steadily. It felt right, those three words leaving your mouth in that one moment. The following day was even better, because you said it again.

“I do love you, but it’s okay if you aren’t ready to say it yet.”

I do love you, that was my response. I love you. We said it about four more times before you went home, while we stood outside while it poured down rain, heh. Like the movies. All cute and romantic and stuff. I’m not sure if you’ve caught on yet, but I won’t say ‘I love you too.’ The only time when I say those 3 special words, will just be I love you. The reason for this is because I want you to know, I’m not just saying it because you said it to me, that I’m replying to just say what I think you want to hear. I’m saying I love you because I love you.

We star gazed this month, finally. Getting all cuddled up and listening to music, spending the night talking about the weirdest things and eating cheesecake, cutest date ever in my book. My favorite thing about this month, was when we talked on the phone, as I fell asleep on our anniversary, and sure maybe it wasn’t on the best circumstances but you are the absolute most amazing ever, to do that. Our anniversary was special. I mean we saw one of the greatest movies of 2018. With one another. The release date was literally our anniversary.

6 Months:

There you have it a brief recap, of the past six months. The most amazingly incredible six months of my life, so far. It’ll probably get even better these following six months. We’ll see. I wish I could write, and speak, and show you how incredibly grateful I am to have you around Christopher. I hope I’m able to do that some days, or even most days. There has been times these past six months that you’ve thrown me completely off guard, and I have never been more amazed that two people could be so alike. You are my best friend, not just my boyfriend. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.

I love you, with all my being.

Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow By OverTheRainbow: Epilogue

Chapter 6: Epilogue

The next few days had been a whirlwind of introductions, explanations, apologies and eventual celebrations. Kelly had screamed down the telephone with delight and insisted immediately on logging on to Skype in order to "meet" John. Kieron had received the news via FaceTime from Cyprus and while he was initially, understandably cautious about the sudden turn of events, particularly as he'd never met John, he could see that his sister was incredibly happy and after a few private chats with him, Kieron was reassured that Kayleigh had indeed finally found a decent bloke to share her life with. John was more than a bit relieved to receive his approval. Even on screen Kieran looked like he could probably kill him with his index finger. Mandy took a little more convincing but it wasn't long before she too began to realise that John was an honourable man, whose past mistakes were born of fear and not malice and that he and her sister were truly, a match made in heaven. Mandy was genuinely touched when John, insisted on returning the £140 to their holiday fund. Pointing out that he wouldn't take money "from family". Kayleigh's Mum Sal and Dad Tommy were, thankfully, a much easier proposition. As was John's Mum Evelyn, who was thrilled to see her son so happy. Kayleigh's parents liked John immediately. Her Dad in particular, shared a similar nature and a wry sense of humour. They were soon setting the world to rights, as John helped him clean out their guttering. Meanwhile their Mum's had bonded over Zumba and Sh'Bam and became regular lunch and shopping companions. Eventually even Misty approved of the latest addition to the family. After some initial suspicion, when she arrived in Preston to discover this interloper in her midst, the little mongrel began to feel comfortable with John and greeted him with enthusiasm when he arrived at the door. He'd joked with Kayleigh that he might even grow to like "Dogging". She'd looked up from her wedding magazine, "Yeah, you're funny". He chuckled, "I am aren't I? Tell your mates. I'm playing here all week". "You'll be playin with yourself if you're not careful!" "Ooh I see what you did there..." "Hmm, I'll bet you did". They were soon giggling like kids.

He'd decided to make an extra special day of it when he'd taken her to Manchester to buy her engagement ring. They would stay overnight at the Lowry Hotel with a Spa visit for Kayleigh and an evening meal with champagne for them both. He didn't usually drink alcohol but he'd make an exception this time. He bought her an emerald cut diamond, set in a platinum and diamond band. She'd lingered around the cheaper rings until he'd called her over and pointed out the one he'd secretly seen her admiring on her iPad. Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw it. "It's too expensive John". "Nah. It's just right...besides, some things are worth it." He attracted the attention of the shop assistant, "My fiancée and I would like to see that one please". He smiled and winked at Kayleigh. He loved calling her his fiancée and he knew she liked hearing it. It was perfect on her finger. She'd decided to get a manicure especially for their shopping trip and it added to the effect. They'd also decided to buy their wedding rings. They all needed to be sized to fit and their wedding rings were also to be engraved on the inside with their initials and the date of their wedding. After some debate about the relative merits of a summer verses a winter wedding, they'd decided on New Year's Eve. The idea of celebrating the New Year by starting a new life, appealed to them both. Besides, Kayleigh liked the thought that the Christmas Lights would still be up and that from now on, her favourite time of the year would be even more special. Throw in that Kelly, along with her Auntie Pat and Uncle Bob, would be returning from Australia for a visit and that Kieron would be home on leave and the decision was well and truly made. Neither of them favoured a long engagement. They both knew with absolute certainty that they wanted to make the commitment and saw any unnecessary delay, as futile. So the clock was now ticking down, to the Redmond/Kitson nuptials.

The six months leading up to the big day were hectic, to say the least. Although Kayleigh had been mentally planning her wedding for years, the reality brought with it unforeseen obstacles to navigate. The first being that John's Mum wanted a church wedding. While John no longer practiced his religion, he was baptised and raised in the church and for his Mother, it constituted what she believed to be, a "proper" wedding. Kayleigh on the other hand thought religion was a "load of hoopty" and wanted a civil ceremony at their wedding venue, a beautiful boutique hotel in the countryside not too far from Manchester. For a time it seemed that neither side would back down and John felt the pressure of being caught between the two women. A compromise was finally reached after Kayleigh agreed that their wedding rings would be blessed and that, for now, she wouldn't completely rule out the possibility of Christening any children they might have. Peace was restored in the Kingdom. It was a compromise agreement worthy of a UN Special Envoy and a Nobel Prize.

John was also on the move. A vacancy for a Store Manager had come up in Burnley and with a reasonably short commute from Preston, it was ideal. The current arrangement was a strain on them both, with John volunteering to take the lion share of the burden by staying with Kayleigh in Preston most nights. It meant he'd lost his parking space, as he could no longer reliably Car Share with a colleague. Instead he now used a park and ride. He was awake at dawn and knackered by the time he got home. His contribution to wedding planning had so far consisted of, "Hm…what? Oh yeah, that sounds nice. You have what you want love" before falling asleep. That she'd just jokingly asked him if they should hire a couple of elephants had completely passed him by. Once his house was sold, he would move up permanently. This led them both to decide to buy a house in Preston. Kayleigh had an initial six month tenancy on her terraced house, which would expire not long before the wedding and with both of them now increasing their salaries and John selling his house, which gave them a healthy deposit, the time felt right. John had mused that they were literally doing every stressful thing it was humanly possible to do, all at once and that at this rate they might just keel over before they made it up the aisle, "We'll die happy then!" was Kayleigh's view. Four months into their engagement they bought a new build semi in a quiet suburban development. They had moved in just in time for John to start his new job in Burnley.

The staff members were genuinely sad to see him leave but were happy that everything had worked out in the end for him and Kayleigh. They threw a huge leaving/engagement party for John, insisting that Kayleigh invite her new colleagues in Preston to the celebrations. Amid much back slapping and congratulations, Dave Thompson had sheepishly apologised for the "lipstick on a pig" comment and Litchy had telephoned to call him a "Sly old bugger and lament that he wished he'd stuck 50 quid on it". The only reluctant celebrant was Stink Ray. He still hadn't forgiven them for conning him out of a lift that day. It took Elsie with her cutthroat diplomacy to resolve the matter in the staff room, "Are you kiddin! I wouldn't let you near any motor a' mine! You stink like a North Sea trawler! It's about time somebody told you to get a bloody bath Captain Birdseye!" The room descended into an awkward silence. Then a male voice piped up, "You've gone nose blind mate!" leading to an outbreak of sniggering. Ray sniffed his sweater. If he was stunned by the revelation and his pride had been offended, he had to admit it did explain a lot....and Elsie's directness...wasn't entirely unappealing....By the evening of the party, it appeared to have had the desired effect. Ray wasn't exactly fragrant but as Elsie put it, he now smelt less like a trawler and now merely, "Whiffed like a two day old prawn soaked in Paco Rabanne". On the night, the gang from Fresh Face and John's colleagues from the Store, mingled well and before long the dance floor was full and the booze was flowing. A huge banner read

"❤Congratulations John & Kayleigh ❤"

Heart shaped helium balloons filled the room along with huge illuminated letters spelling out "LOVE". John had relished hitting the dance floor with Kayleigh as soon as Gloria Gaynor's, "I am what I am" came on, to laughter from them both. There was much ooh'ing and ahh'ing over the engagement ring. Alan Campbell had joked to John that they obviously paid him too much. Rachel couldn't resist snarking that her own preference would be for something more "subtle". Big Diane had seized her moment, "Let's see your diamond then Rachel". Sufficiently embarrassed, she'd promptly sloped off. "Jealousy's an ugly emotion", Joyce had pronounced sagely...before draining the remnants of her G&T through a straw with a loud gurgle. Kayleigh had forgotten how much fun her old colleagues could be. As the party drew to a close, the dance floor filled with couples smooching and swaying to Phil Collins cover of "Groovy Kind of Love". The sight of five foot two Joyce hanging off the neck of her six foot two Sumo wrestler husband, was one that would live long in the memory. John and Kayleigh had a cheeky snog but were soon spotted and a loud cheer went up, prompting John to bow and Kayleigh to curtsey to their audience. As the song came to an end, John nudged Kayleigh to look at one couple in particular, "Bloody Hell!" he whispered "There isn't enough mental Harpic for that one". Stink Ray and Elsie were getting up close and personal. It looked like Ray was on for a much needed bath and a half share in a Pot Noodle, before the night was out. Kayleigh giggled, "Maybe time we said our good nights eh?" "You always have the best ideas", he replied. They'd left to hugs, handshakes and kisses and were soon covered in confetti and streamers.

The next time they all met up, it was the wedding day. It had dawned crisp and bright. The low winter sun casting a warm glow on the frosty landscape as Kayleigh looked out from the hotel window. It was perfect. They'd lucked out in getting the venue, thanks to a cancellation. While Kayleigh had initially felt uncomfortable that they were benefitting from someone else's misfortune, John eventually persuaded her that it was simply serendipity. Her parents, her Matron of Honour Mandy, Maid of Honour Kelly and bridesmaids Chloe and Sophie, had joined her for her last night as a single woman. As her breakfast was delivered complete with a glass of Buck's Fizz, her Mum, Kelly and Mandy all appeared in the doorway, giving a hearty rendition of "She's getting married in the morning". Soon her room was a hive of activity, with her hairdresser Sue and her assistant Jordan and make-up artists Emma and Jo, new colleagues and friends from Fresh Face, busy getting everyone ready. Much of the conversation centred on the Hen Weekend and Kayleigh's determination to bring home her fully inflated male blow up doll, from Benidorm and the look on John's face when he'd picked her up from the airport to find her clutching it and wearing a sombrero. For some reason known only to Kayleigh she'd called him Ted 3, which she found hilarious and which her hens found mystifying. Much of the weekend was a blur but she did recall mucho tequila, a foam party, a Drag Queen, a stripper called "Magic Miguel", thinking that it was a good idea to attempt a rendition of Madonna's "Like a Virgin" in the middle of the street and waking up on a sun lounger at 6am. John also retained a voicemail she'd left for him on her last night, which informed him that she was "Fluffy Drunk" and that she would very much like to have "sexy time" with him. Before calling him her "Snuggle Bunny" and then informing him that she was going to be sick. She then promptly burst into tears because he wasn't there to hold her hair back. John's Stag had also not been without incident. Kayleigh had issued warnings that he was to come back in one piece...or else! They'd gone for an "experience day" karting, laser combat and pool. Kieron then led the troops which included Jim, Steve, Paul and Litchy, on an epic pub crawl. While John wasn't much of a drinker, his future brother in law had insisted on him partaking in a "Cheeky Vimto"...or two...or three...he'd lost count after that and consciousness soon afterwards. He'd woken up the following morning in Mandy's flower bed, holding a traffic cone, with a G-string on his head. Steve was asleep beside his bike, under the gazebo. Mandy had woken them both by pouring the contents of a watering can on their heads... after gathering some photographic evidence, of course. She later remarked to Kayleigh, "If it wasn't for Global Warming he'd have frozen his bits off. What use would he have been to you then!?" Recounting her observation to John, he replied, "Well, now there's an argument for climate change you don't often hear". By comparison, tonight's celebrations would be much more sedate.

John, his Mum, his Nana, his brother and best man Paul, his sister in law Angela, his groomsmen, Jim, Steve and Kieron and the two pageboys Ben and a very reluctant Alfie, stayed overnight at another hotel nearby. Alfie had been in a strop since the prospect of being a pageboy had first surfaced, six months before. If they'd hoped he'd settle into the idea, it hadn't worked. Lately he'd become belligerent to the point of rudeness. Something had to give. To Mandy's surprise and delight Steve had dusted off his parenting skills with their ever impossible son. He'd taken him aside, told him he was upsetting his Auntie Kayleigh and Uncle John with his behaviour and that he was seriously disappointing both him and his Mum. He thought he was raising a man, not a spoilt kid. John and Kayleigh had bought gifts for their bridesmaids and pages and if he persisted, he'd make sure he didn't get his. It would go to a kid who deserved it. Alfie was sufficiently chastised. He promptly apologised to John, who bought him a coke and said, "At least you're not wearing a sailor suit. I spared you that one buddy." Alfie smiled. Progress. Steve then called Kayleigh so that Alfie could apologise to her. Kayleigh accepted his apology and told him all would be forgiven if he promised her a dance at the reception. She'd even let him pick the song.

Kayleigh's natural superstition had extended to maintaining the tradition that it's "bad luck" to see the groom the night before the wedding. He'd called her just before she went to sleep though, to tell her how much he loved her and couldn't wait to be her husband. He also loved the watch she'd bought him as a wedding present. He had a surprise for her tomorrow. When she tried to get a clue he exclaimed, "You can't get round me that easily lady! Just wait and see…” She couldn't wait to be his wife. It wouldn't be long until they headed off on their Honeymoon. Two weeks, all-inclusive in Barbados. John's choice. She'd simply asked for "somewhere laid back and sunny". He'd toyed with the idea of a cruise but ruled it out due to Kayleigh's aquaphobia and his own qualms about the Norovirus. He'd arrived home with a cry of "Booked it!" then flashed the brochure. Kayleigh had squealed with delight...and rewarded him with a little "honeymoon rehearsal". They'd soon be lying on a beach sipping cocktails...or in John's case mocktails, as husband and wife. Their special day was finally here.

As the groom and his entourage began to arrive downstairs, Chloe and Sophie twirled in their pretty bridesmaids dresses. Mandy and Kelly meanwhile, put the finishing touches to their look, midnight blue, full length gowns, as Kayleigh slipped into the wedding dress she'd spent so long dreaming of. It was lace and silk, with a tight, hidden bodice, three quarter length sleeves and a full skirt. It was finished off with a full length veil. Her something blue was a garter from Kelly, her something borrowed were diamond and pearl earrings from her Mum. Her something old was a broach that belonged to John's Nana, Rose and one from her own late Nana, which were in her bouquet. Mandy handed her, her something new. It had arrived that morning from John. His surprise. A beautiful, simple diamond tennis bracelet. Stopping the tears was going to be impossible today, it seemed.

Chloe and Sophie clapped and cheered as Kayleigh's Mum Sal, John's Mum Evelyn, who couldn't resist a peak and a good luck kiss, Mandy and Kelly, all tried not to cry and ruin their make-up, when Kayleigh emerged from her room. Kelly handed her, her bouquet and with a kiss from her Mum and her bridesmaids, Mandy placed the veil over her sister's face and she made her way towards her Dad who was waiting for her at the top of the stairs. He too was emotional when he saw her. They had a final, quiet moment, when he told he was so proud of her, that she looked like a Princess and that John was the luckiest man in the world. With both their Mum's now seated downstairs with the guests, the sound of the string quartet playing Paschelbel's Canon in D, was her cue and she wasn't going to miss it. John's Mum had mouthed "She looks beautiful" to her nervous son. He'd been pacing like a caged animal and must have asked his brother twenty times, if he had the rings. On the last occasion Paul had feigned panic but the look of anxiety on his brother's face was such that he feared he might just have a heart attack, so he caved and produced them for inspection yet again. "For God sake calm down man! You're gonna pass out at this rate". "I know. I just want it to be right". "It won't be if you're in A&E". The moment he saw his bride though, he became totally calm. She had that effect on him. He felt completely at peace with the world. She really was the thing that completed him. Everything felt wrong without her and with her, it was perfect. She was the most beautiful vision he'd ever beheld and her smile lit up the room. He knew he was grinning like an idiot but he didn't care. He couldn't take his eyes off her. When she reached his side she'd said, "Hello handsome. Fancy seeing you here." He'd smiled and whispered back, "Hello beautiful. I wouldn't miss it for the world". They exchanged their vows in front of their family and friends. Every one of whom felt certain that this was one marriage that was definitely for keeps. There was a chorus of clapping and cheering as they were pronounced husband and wife and the new Mr & Mrs John Redmond, sealed the deal with a kiss. After signing the register and posing for photographs with their bridal party, the bride and groom walked down the aisle to Beethoven's Ode to Joy. As congratulations flowed and the guests mingled and enjoyed champagne and canapés to the strains of the string quartet playing an assortment of classical and modern pieces, including John noted, an instrumental version of "Runaway", the newlyweds and their families continued their photo session. Finally, the formalities completed, the guests were seated for the reception. Having abandoned her veil Kayleigh and John let it be known that it was now party time! The Master of ceremonies announced them and they entered hand in hand to the sound of The Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get it Started". So began the party of their lives.

After a four course slap up meal, "This definitely wacks a Fat Boy!" as John rightly observed, mid profiterole, the speeches began. Paul had the guests in stitches recalling their childhood exploits, with subtle references to John's previous dating disasters. He kept it...mostly clean, complimented Kayleigh, thanked the bridesmaids and pages, gave them their gifts from the bride and groom and received a huge cheer as he toasted the happy couple and resumed his seat. Mandy and Kelly were delighted with their necklaces with a heart shaped pendant engraved with the date and Chloe and Sophie loved their little charm bracelets with a heart charm, their initial and a little bride and groom. Ben and Alfie's eyes lit up when they were given wireless headphones and promptly disappeared to hook them up to their phones. Kayleigh's Dad then said a few words, speaking lovingly about Kayleigh and welcoming John to the family. John's Mum spoke briefly but movingly about her son and the happiness Kayleigh had brought to his life. Everyone was in tears as she told her son how proud his father would be of him. John thanked his Mum and kissed her. He then gave his own speech. Beginning with the customary "My wife and I" which elicited yet more cheering. He thanked Cath Hilton for initiating the Car Share scheme, which brought Kayleigh Kitson..."sorry Kayleigh Redmond"...into his life. He spoke of the joy he had found in her and of his own amazement that she loved him and that he was now a married man. He and Kayleigh then gave a gift of necklaces with pearl drop pendants to their respective mothers in law. John's gift card thanking Sal for raising the love of his life and Kayleigh's thanking Evelyn for raising the man of her dreams. John then proposed a toast to his wife Kayleigh Redmond and another to their Mums. Kayleigh stood briefly to say a few words to her Dad and give him his gift, a silver tankard engraved with "Father of the Bride" and the date of the wedding. John also gave him a voucher from the Shed Surgery. He'd long held the dream of a little sanctuary at the bottom of the garden. Kayleigh then thanked everyone and hoped that after they cut the cake, they would stay and party in the New Year with them. They didn't need to be asked twice.

Cake cutting done and yet more photos taken, they were finally ready to dance the night away. John was anticipating the Corrs as he led Kayleigh out for their first dance. He honestly didn't mind...if it was what she wanted, he could live with it. Instead, the glorious voice of Gladys Knight filled the room singing, "You're the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me". Kayleigh whispered, "Listen to the words John". She sang along as she rested her head on his shoulder. John could feel himself tearing up and did his best to keep it together. "It's just perfect, isn't it?" she said as she kissed him. "Yeah. It really is", he replied as he held her tighter. They were joined on the dance floor by Kayleigh's Mum and Dad and John's Mum and Paul, as Eric Clapton sang "Wonderful Tonight". John then danced with his Mum and Kayleigh with her Dad, to The Commodores "Three Times A Lady". The DJ then announced that it was time to pick up the pace and really get this party started as Kool and the Gang's "Celebration" came belting through the speakers. By now the dance floor was rammed with family, friends and colleagues who'd joined them for the "evening do". John had lifted Kayleigh up and was spinning her around as they yelled out "Whaaa Hooo!" at the appropriate moment. By the time they were midway through a Bee Gees Medley, John's jacket and tie had been discarded and Kayleigh was in a pair of flat glittery ballet pumps she'd bought for her and her bridesmaids, expressly for dancing. They tore it up through a Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5 Medley, "Red Light Spells Danger" and "Uptown Funk", before the need for hydration drove them off the floor. A fish and chip van arrived not long after 9pm and along with a chocolate fountain, retro sweets and a candy floss machine, young and old were well and truly catered for. Van Morrisons "Brown Eyed Girl" got them back on the floor and Kayleigh got her dance with Alfie to Pharrell Williams, "Happy". Rob Vegas singing "Ho Hey (You're My Sweetheart)" got everyone singing along as did "Sweet Caroline". The Kitsons, the Prices and the Redmonds all got up to Sister Sledge's "We are Family" and one of the moments of the night came when John and his Mum danced to Eddie Cochrane's "Three Steps to Heaven", the significance known only to them and to Paul, Kayleigh and Angela. Then to everyone's delight John and Jim aka "Compendium" took to the stage. John dedicated "In The City" to Kayleigh and she joined them on stage in a pink Stetson and clutching a tambourine, for "Cotton Eye Joe". Line dancing with gusto, were Joyce Chung, Big Diane, Cath Hilton and Elsie, fresh from being issued with what she was told in no uncertain terms, was absolutely her final written warning. In a treat for his niece, Sophie finally got to finish her performance of "Let it Go", to a huge cheer. Then, in a moment John knew nothing about, Kayleigh's Dad Tommy, Jim, Steve, Kieron and Paul all took to the stage to sing Danny Boy. It had always been John's Dad's favourite song. The guests joined in too. As they finished and Tommy toasted 'To Absent Friends", any hope of preventing the tears from falling, was gone. Kayleigh hugged John and Evelyn, as the DJ announced that midnight was fast approaching.

As the clock struck 12, balloons fell from the ceiling, party poppers, champagne corks and steamers exploded in a mass of colour and delighted cheers. In a sea of hugs and kisses, John and Kayleigh wished each other a "Happy New Year", the first one of their married lives. Old Langs Syne then gave way to Prince and "1999". As John and Kayleigh danced, he spotted his Mum chatting with Bernard from her bowling club. He'd just kissed his Mum's hand, John was stunned, "Ey! Did you just see that! That's not right...that's out of order that is!" Kayleigh reached up and put her hands on either side of John's cheeks, forcing him to look at her and said, "Let her be. Let her be happy. Time's not a good thing to waste John". He knew she was right....but he still couldn't resisted keeping and eye on the pair when Kayleigh wasn't looking. As Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" played in the background, Kayleigh threw her bouquet into the crowd. Or rather, a replica of it. She had plans for the original. As Kelly, Emma, and Jo lined up with Kieran's girlfriend Gemma, Elsie mounted a charge-down that the British and Irish Lions would have been proud of and which left her face down on the floor and holding the bouquet in the air before declaring, "Gotcha! Ya frigger!" As the other women were knocked sideways like skittles, Elsie was surrounded by guests with gaping mouths. "Bloody Hellfire" John exclaimed. "Jeeesus!" laughed Steve, as Ben and Alfie were bent double with hysteria and a stunned Kayleigh muttered, "Frigadig" while surveying the scene and checking for any walking wounded. Fortunately they'd only been winded by the encounter. The evening was coming to an end. Hearsay's "Pure and Simple" and Kayleigh's favourite song, Take That's, "Never Forget" got everyone back on the floor. Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes, "I've had the Time of My Life", resulted in the now customary sight of intoxicated blokes, trying desperately to hoist aloft equally intoxicated women, with varying degrees of success. Steve's cry of "Aw, Christ Mand! I think I've done a bloody disc!" summed it up perfectly. After attempting a lift, which left Kayleigh shrieking halfway over his shoulder and his hands in places he'd rather keep in the confines of the bedroom, John had settled for simply spinning her around. Even that was somewhat ill-advised, after a full night of food, Champagne and Prosecco. Sinatra's version of "New York, New York" finished off the celebrations with a rousing sing along. It was almost 3 am and time to call it a night, or rather morning. John and Kayleigh wished their remaining guests goodnight as they headed up to the Wedding Suite. Thanking their lucky stars that their flight wasn't until 6pm the next day, they had breakfast in bed to look forward to and a 1pm late check out. John had carried Kayleigh over the threshold of their room to their mutual laughter. The bed was decorated with rose petals and a bottle of champagne was on ice. They contemplated the scene for a few seconds then both collapsed on the bed. They were exhausted...although John did manage to find some not inconsiderable energy from somewhere when he saw what Kayleigh had on underneath that dress.....That late check out really was a blessing....

They finally joined their family members the following morning just before midday, in time for a light lunch and for Kayleigh to ensure that their wedding attire and bits and pieces were safely packed into Mandy's Citroen. Also, for John to put their honeymoon luggage into his car for the journey to the airport...that was, after he took in the state of the little Fiat...Ribbons and streamers were attached to the windows and mirrors and a "Just Married" sign was attached to the back, with a J and K and a huge heart along with tin cans, shoes, boots and lucky horseshoes that were all hanging down from beneath the rear bumper. Steve, smelling faintly of Ralgex Heat Spray after his Patrick Swayze exertions the night before, Paul, Jim, Ben and Alfie, were delighted with their handiwork. They said their goodbyes just after 1pm amid congratulations, hugs, kisses and yet more tears. They were pelted with Confetti, rice and rose petals as they got into the Fiat and rattled their way down the driveway, waving and beeping the horn as they went. They reached their first destination after a thirty minute drive. They both got out of the Fiat and walked a short distance, before John said, "Here it is. This is it." Kayleigh looked down then smiled softly at John. "Well Dad, here she is. This is Kayleigh. My Kayleigh. My wife." "...and this is for you", Kayleigh added, as she crouched down and placed her bouquet on the grave. "He really would have loved you, ya know. He would have thought I was one lucky beggar...and he would've been right." Kayleigh kissed him gently. "I owe him a lot. He was partly responsible for giving me you." "Oh don't hold that against him", John quipped. "I'll be grateful to him for the rest of my life". They stood in silence for a moment, Kayleigh wrapping her arms tightly around John's arm. "He was a good man Kayleigh. A good husband and a good father. I want to be those things too". "And you will be". "You seem very sure". "Oh I am sure. I'm not sure about a lot of things mind but I'm absolutely certain about you". "I love you, Mrs Redmond". "I love you too", she smiled. "It's getting cold...let's go huh?" They slowly walked back to their car. As John started the engine he looked at Kayleigh, smiled and sang, "We're going to Barbados". Kayleigh laughed, then looking at him said, "Do I make you happy John Redmond?" He looked back at her for a second, remembering a long ago night and a missed opportunity...how things had changed, "Yeah...yeah you do...very much...Kayleigh Redmond". They kissed and John started the car. Drifting out of the radio from Forever FM, was an old familiar song, Jimmy Cliff singing, "I Can See Clearly Now". Kayleigh said with delight and an excited squeal, "Ooh, I love this song!" as she reached forward to turn it up. "Me too". John smiled. As they set off they began to sing along....

"I can see clearly now, the rain is gone"

"I can see all obstacles in my way"

"Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind"

"It's gonna be a bright, bright, sun-shiny day"

"I think I can make it now the pain is gone"

"All of the bad feelings have disappeared"

"Here is that rainbow I've been praying for"

"It's gonna be a bright, bright sun-shiny day"

"Look all around, nothing but blue skies......"

Their voices slowly faded out as the little red car drove out of sight and a whole new journey had just begun.........Tomorrow would be a very good day.

How to budget: A pain-free guide to building a budget that works

A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went. John C. Maxwell I've had more one-on-one money coaching meetings during the past year than my previous twelve years writing about money combined. I used to claim that I'd never do money coaching. Apparently, I was wrong. As I meet with folks, certain common themes stand out. For one, most folks have no idea how much they're actually earning and spending. Their finances are like a black box. They get paid, put the money in the bank, then spend it until it's gone. Almost nobody actively tracks what they earn and spend. Do I have money in my checking account? I can buy something! Because people don't track what they spend, it's tough for them to plan what they spend. Frequently, I suggest that the people I meet with make a budget. Because budgets have been demonized for so long, there's a lot of resistance to this idea. That's too bad. Budgets don't have to be a bother. When used correctly, they're an excellent way to take control of your money. If you pick a budget that fits the way you live, it can help you meet your goals more quickly. The key? Dont think of a budget as a constraint. Real Life is a constraint; a budget helps you break free so that you can spend on whats important to you, on the things that bring you joy. Why Budgets Fail A lot of people get frustrated with budgeting because it never seems to work. They never reach their spending targets. Or emergencies break the budget. Or it seems like so much work for so little reward. I hear you. I've been there. But if you follow a few rules (or maybe guidelines, if you prefer), budgeting can be less stressful and more useful. Based on my own experience and based on comments of GRS readers like you I believe there are a handful of reasons most budgets fail. You may encounter trouble with your budget if: It's too complicated. People have a tendency to make budgets more complex than they need to be. A simple budget is usually more useful.It doesn't reflect your values. A budget should help you achieve your goals, so make it personal. If you try to use somebody else's budget, you're going to have a tough time.It doesn't reflect reality. When you build a budget, base it on your actual income and behavior not on some imaginary ideal you.It seems like a chore. Don't let your system bog you down. Your goal is to have a budget that works, so keep looking until you find one that works for you. To summarize: To minimize the risk of failure, a budget should be simple and easy to use while reflecting both current realities and your future goals. [embedded content] That's all rather esoteric, though. What does a simple, easy budget look like? There are a lot of approaches that work. While some people do manage to make detailed budgets work, I've found that budget frameworks are more effective for me and the people I coach. Today, we're going to take a deep dive into the world of budgeting. Based on my thirteen years of reading and writing about money, here are my thoughts on how to budget effectively. How to Build a Budget A lot of times when a person decides to get their financial house in order, the struggle to figure out how to build a budget that works. It's common to build an elaborate budget that confuses even the person who created it. Successful budgets are usually simple.

In The Only Investment Guide You'll Ever Need, Andrew Tobias offers the following simple yet effective budget: Destroy all your credit cards.Invest 20% of all that you earn. Never touch it.Live on the remaining 80%, no matter what. Although Tobias is being glib, this is actually an excellent system. If you can develop the discipline to follow just these three steps, you can become rich. That said, this budget framework is too loose for most people. (I mean, come on, it only has two categories: saving and everything else.) The 60% Solution A decade ago at MSN Money, editor-in-chief Richard Jenkins proposed a budget that he dubbed the 60% Solution. (That link leads to a Web Archive summary of his framework. The original is article is no longer available because MSN thinks it's smart to throw away awesome old content.) After twenty years of budgeting, Jenkins decided that a detailed budget was too much work for too little information. He developed a simpler framework. With this framework, his goal was to keep Committed Expenses manageable. (Jenkins says that Committed Expenses are Wants or Needs that you can't or won't compromise on. You're committed to them.)

The 60% Solution suggests allocating your monthly gross (pre-tax) income like this: 60% to Committed Expenses such as taxes, clothing, basic living expenses, insurance, charity (including tithing), and regular bills (including things like your cell phone).10% to Retirement.10% to Irregular Expenses such as vacations, major repair bills, new appliances, etc.10% to Long-Term Savings/Debt money set aside for car purchases, home renovations, or to pay down substantial debt loads.10% for Fun Money to be used for dining out, hobbies, indulgences, etc. Jenkins believes that the best way to relieve money pressure is to reduce Committed Expenses. When your Committed Expenses rise, so does your stress level. If you can keep these costs under 60% of your income, you'll have more money to spend on other things like retirement tomorrow or fun stuff today. The 60% Solution looks simplistic but it's powerful. In fact, I Will Teach You to Be Rich author Ramit Sethi (who famously hates budgets) uses this as the basis for his Conscious Spending Plan (which, sorry Ramit, is just a budget). If Ramit likes a budget, you know it's good. The Balanced Money Formula My favorite budget framework the one I teach in workshops and encourage friends to use is the Balanced Money Formula from All Your Worth: The Ultimate Lifetime Money Plan by Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Tyagi. (Yes, that Elizabeth Warren. I'm endorsing her budget framework, not her Presidential bid.) The Balanced Money Formula (which sometimes gets billed as the 50/30/20 budget by bloggers too lazy to do research) is meant to help people save and pay off debt while simultaneously leaving room for financial electives like going out to dinner and cable television.

Warren and Tyagi argue that in order to succeed financially, you must keep three broad areas of your finances in balance. They divide your net (after-tax) income as follows: Allocate no more than 50% to Needs (which the authors call Must-Haves). Needs include housing, transportation, groceries, insurance, and clothes you really need.Set aside at least 20% for Savings, which includes both debt repayment and retirement contributions.Spend the remaining (roughly) 30% on Wants. Wants include cable television, clothing beyond the basics, restaurant meals, concert tickets, comic books, knitting supplies, etc. Warren and Tyagi insist that to maintain financial balance and to be happy, you cannot spend more than 50% of your income on Needs. (Spending less is even better.) From Warren's experience with bankruptcy law, she's seen that too many Americans dig a deep hole for themselves by taking on huge mortgages and car loans. If you want to keep a balanced budget (and eventually build a wealth snowball), it's vital that you spend less on the Big Stuff especially housing. Note that the Balanced Money Formula considers debt reduction to be a part of Saving. I like this. I like it so much, in fact, that it's now part of my personal financial platform. Note: One shortcoming to all three of these budget frameworks is that they target twenty percent (at most) for debt reduction and saving. Twenty percent is great. It's more than financial advisers generally recommend, and far more than most people save. But I consider twenty percent a starting point, not an end point. Ultimately, I think most folks are best-served by aiming to save half of their income. Automating Your Budget Budget frameworks let you wrap your head around the Big Picture, but the framework by itself isn't very helpful. To build a budget that works, you need a system. You need a way to work with framework. I have clear memories of my parents trying (and failing) to budget in the 1970s. Mom and Dad would get frustrated with how broke they were, so they'd sit down at the kitchen table to make a plan. After much heated debate, they'd draw up a budget in a spiral notebook. Over the next few weeks, Mom would track their spending and compare it to their projections. The budgets never worked. It took too much effort. (There were other relationship reasons the budgets failed, but sheer labor involved played a major role.) After a couple of weeks of frustration, Mom and Dad would give up. No wonder they were always broke. Nowadays, things are easier. If other bloggers are too be believed, many folks use Personal Capital to track their spending. While expense tracking isn't the same as budgeting, it's absolutely part of the process. If you don't track how much you spend, there's no way to know if you're sticking to your budget. [embedded content] From chatting with Get Rich Slowly readers, I suspect that You Need a Budget (YNAB) is a better choice than Personal Capital when it comes to automating your budget. This shouldn't be surprising, I guess. After all, YNAB is a tool specifically designed for budgeting! (Here's my review of the YNAB software.) Apps like these do have downsides. Personal Capital is a great free tool, but it's also designed as a lead generator for a wealth-management firm. They're hoping that if you use their software, you'll eventually become a client. YNAB has no nefarious motives in fact, the company is awesome but the tool comes with a small monthly fee. For most folks who need to budget, however, this fee is worth it. Still, you have other options. It's possible, for instance, to buy stand-alone desktop software that lets you both budget and track your expenses. It's no secret that I manage my money with a copy of Quicken 2007. (I'll eventually move to a new version of Quicken. For now, the old version works just fine.) My buddy Jim at Wallet Hacks is a proponent of building personalized budget spreadsheets. In fact, he recently wrote that budgeting with spreadsheets beats automated tools every time. But Jim is a ginormous nerd who loves noodling with numbers. If you're less of a nerd, Personal Capital and/or YNAB might be a better fit. Ultimately, it doesn't matter which tool you choose. There's no single right answer. Try several and figure out which works best for you and your budget. What matters most is that it's something you'll use, and that it's something that will help you reach your goals. [embedded content] Envelope Budgeting Automated budgeting tools are great for most people. Some, however, might need to take a different approach. When I met with my friends Wally and Jodie recently, I got a sense that while they're making progress with their debt, they're still struggling with organization. I think part of the problem is that their budget is abstract. It's not a real, tangible thing but something that exists only on paper or in their heads. Have you heard of envelope budgeting? I asked. No, Wally said. What's that? I gave a brief explanation. The envelope budgeting system is a simple method that you can use with any sort of budget to help you manage your spending. You can use it with the 60% Solution, with the Balanced Money Formula, or for more complex budget systems. The basic idea is this: When you get paid, you divide cash into various envelopes designated for specific budget categories. Here's how it works: Choose budget categories. Use one envelope for each category you plan to track. Write the category's name on each envelope. Wally and Jodie, for instance, might have an envelope for their upcoming wedding, an envelope for travel, an envelope for groceries, and envelope for utilities, and so on.Set money aside. After your paycheck gets deposited, withdraw cash for each budgeted category. If Wally and Jodie have budgeted $200 for two weeks of groceries, they'd put $200 in their grocery envelope and note this amount on the back.Spend normally. Throughout the month, take cash from the appropriate envelopes as you make purchases. When you take money out of an envelope, note the amount on the back. Also note how much remains in the envelope. After you buy something, put the receipt and change back in the envelope.When an envelope is empty, you're done. If you run out of money in an envelope, you have two options. Hardcore budgeters argue that if your Dining Out envelope is empty, you need to suck it up until your next paycheck. Once you've spent your restaurant budget, that's it. Others say that it's okay to take from one envelope to fund another. Which route is right for you is a personal call. But please, don't resort to credit to compensate for an empty envelope.Decide what to do with surplus cash. At the end of the pay period, you're likely to have money left in certain envelopes. You should have a system to handle this. Maybe you want to leave the surplus there, effectively giving you a larger budget in the next pay period. (If you have $87 left in your grocery envelope and add $200 more, then you have $287 for the next pay period!) A smarter move might be to take the surplus cash at the end of a pay period and put it toward a long-term goal. (Wally and Jodie could take extra grocery money, for example, and put it in their wedding envelope.)Do it again. Repeat this process each pay period. If you discover that you consistently have a deficit (or surplus) in certain categories, make adjustments. Here's a terrific step-by-step envelope budget tutorial from YouTube: [embedded content] The beauty of envelope budgeting is that it's system agnostic. It doesn't care what kind of budget you use. You can use it for all of your budget categories or just a few. (I think most people would use it for variable expenses, not fixed expenses like mortgages and phone bills.) Plus, it's physical. The money is real and you're forced to actually handle it and experience the pain of paying. I should note that some people want to use the envelope system but don't want to hassle with actual envelopes. For these folks, a budget spreadsheet is a good way to simulate the system. (Or, you might try to replicate it with the You Need a Budget software.) In 2013 here at Get Rich Slowly, Kristin Wong shared her adventures in returning to the envelope system. How to Build a Better Budget That's a lot of information about budgeting, I know. It might be overwhelming. But before we wrap things up, I'd like to offer a few final tips. Let's start with what I consider the four cardinal rules of budgeting. The first rule of budgeting: Dont worry about perfection. A budget is a target. Your spending wont be perfect the first month. Or the second. Or the third. If you cant get your money into perfect balance, get as close as you can. Learn to make adjustments, and dont give up.The second rule of budgeting: The big stuff makes more difference than the small stuff. Yes, you should clip coupons and shop at thrift stores. But you can save thousands of dollars at once by being smart when you buy a house or a car. Decrease your major expenses like housing and transportation and youll have a lot more room in your budget for the fun stuff.The third rule of budgeting: Make plans based on your real life, not how you wish life would be. Dont budget for possible salary increases and ideal spending habits. If you spend money on coffee every day, make that part of your budget. If you havent received a raise at work, dont count that in your income. Budget for reality, not wishful thinking.The fourth rule of budgeting: Keep it simple. If using your budget is a chore, youll never follow through. Include only as much detail as you need. Find a way to track your spending that works the way you do. Lastly, if you struggle with keeping a budget, it may be because you're trying to predict your spending in time chunks that are just too small. A 2008 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that people who made annual budgets were better able to predict their spending than those who made monthly budgets. From the original press release: [Researchers] found that, contrary to popular advice, people were more accurate when constructing an annual rather than a monthly budget, even when they were logging their expenses weekly. Consumers' default tendency is to underestimate their budgets, for both next month and next year frames, write the authors. However budgets for the next year are closer to recorded expenses because consumers feel less confident when estimating these budgets, and therefore, adjust them upward. One reason yearly budgets are more accurate is that consumers consider a greater number of expense categories when they construct them. If you construct your monthly budget in April, will you remember to include a category for Christmas gifts? If you've followed my own spending adventures this year, you know I've encountered some of this. Oops! I forgot I'd have a huge tax liability in April. Oh wow, I forgot that we booked a September 2019 vacation in April 2018. Now the balance is due. And so on. Yearly budgets aren't very useful, however, for planning your day-to-day spending. The obvious solution is to take the best of both worlds: Since people generally do a better job of estimating yearly expenses rather than monthly expenses, create an annual budget.Once you've arrived at your annual budget, divide your estimated expenses in each category by twelve. This will give you a monthly number to work with. The results of this study reiterate that over-confidence is an enormous drag on the average person's finances. We believe we're immune to advertising, that we can handle credit responsibly, that we can pick winning stocks. Yet study after study demonstrates that this just is not the case. In fact, those who lack confidence often make the best financial decisions. This is also true with budgeting. In this study, subjects who were told that budgeting was difficult made more accurate estimates regarding their expenses than those who were told that budgeting was easy. [embedded content] Budgeting Sets You Free For many folks, budget is a four-letter word. Not for money bosses. A money boss views a budget as a useful tool with which she can help build the life she wants. At the same time, she knows that a budget isn't fixed in stone. It's always a work in progress. When you use a budget, even one as simple as the Balanced Money Formula, you need to make constant adjustments. But once you get the most important expenses figured out (your Committed Expenses or Needs), you usually dont have to worry about them much. Your housing payment doesn't fluctuate from month to month, for instance. Your insurance premiums stay pretty constant. The same is true for your Savings. Once you get used to saving a certain amount, that becomes a habit. Your goal, then, is to trim your Needs and boost your Savings until they're both at respectable, sustainable levels. If you can keep these two broad categories where they should be, you can spend everything else on Wants. Spending on fun stuff is less stressful when you know you can afford it. Budgeting isn't a straitjacket. Budgeting sets you free. Want more help building a budget? Try these tools: Remember: If one budget doesnt work, try another. Dont just blindly use a budget from somebody else even Dave Ramsey or Suze Orman. Use their ideas as a starting point, but tailor them so that your budget fits your life. That's what I did, and it worked. Note: This is a substantial re-write of an article originally published 02 May 2011. In fact, I'd go so far as to call it a new article. I've moved forward many of the comments on the old article and, as usual, have placed a marker so you can tell where old comments end and new comments begin.

Author: J.D. Roth In 2006, J.D. founded Get Rich Slowly to document his quest to get out of debt. Over time, he learned how to save and how to invest. Today, he's managed to reach early retirement! He wants to help you master your money and your life. No scams. No gimmicks. Just smart money advice to help you reach your goals. https://www.getrichslowly.org/how-to-budget/

How to Live and Travel Full-Time by RV

Posted: 3/7/2019 | March 7th, 2019

Over the past few years, there has been an explosion of people giving up the daily grind to live and travel in vans, RVs, and other nontraditional abodes. While traveling in an RV has been something people have been doing for decades, new sharing economy websites, better resources online, more modern vans, and a growing community that can provide support have made it easier for anyone to travel full-time in an RV.

What used to be traditionally and predominantly an activity for older, retired, or family travelers is now something people of all ages are trying to do.

One just has to look up #vanlife on social media to see!

(An aside: I hate the #vanlife movement. The faux Instagram movement does nothing for me. Just a bunch of millennials searching out that perfect sponsored photo and talking about how woke they are (for the most part)).

But #vanlife aside, RV travel is a wonderful way to see the world.

“How do you travel in an RV?” is one of the questions I’m most asked.

So today, we’re going to the experts and talking full-time RV with nomads Marc and Julie from RV Love. This couple joined my blogging program a few years ago, hoping to find a way to spread the gospel of living and traveling in an RV to the wider world. (Spoiler: they did. And they just published a book with Simon & Schuster about it too!)

They’ve been driving around in their RV for nearly five years and, today, they share their wisdom about how to travel by RV:

Nomadic Matt: Tell us about yourselves! How did you get into this? Marc and Julie: We’re Marc and Julie Bennett, full-time RVers since 2014, living, working, and traveling in our motorhome as we explore North America and the world! We met on the dating website eHarmony while both living in Colorado in 2010, married in 2011, and hit the road three years later!

Why did you pick traveling in an RV as your way to get around? We knew we wanted to do a lot more extended travel while we were still working. We get such little vacation time here in the USA, and we didn’t want that to limit our lives. So we started exploring different ways to bring more travel and adventure into our everyday life without Marc having to give up his job as project manager of operations, which he was able to do from home.

We considered international travel, but there were two main reasons why wasn’t a fit: the challenge of time zones, and more specifically, we wanted to travel with our dog Coda. Plus, we love to drive, so RVing was really the ideal solution for us. We love that wherever we go, we’re always home, and we’re not living out of suitcases.

We’re both passionate about driving, so it makes sense that we would choose to live and travel by RV, although we usually prefer more sporty rides when it comes to entertainment, as we both have a love for sports cars and convertibles.

What’s life like living and traveling around in an RV? We just entered our fifth year on the road full-time as RVers, and we recently changed from a 2012 36’ gas Class A motorhome to a 1999 40’ diesel motorhome! We bucked the trend and went bigger (and older and cheaper, but much higher quality), and we’re actually doing a complete remodel of our RV this summer.

Traditionally, we spend about 80% of our time in campgrounds and about 20% dry camping, but we recently installed a big lithium battery bank and solar system on our RV, so we plan on spending a lot more time camping off the grid out in nature in the coming years. We try to spend 2-3 weeks in each location, but that varies on where we are, the weather, and what projects we have on our plates. We moved pretty fast in our first 3+ years, having visited all 50 states while still working full-time.

This year, we have so many big and exciting projects on our plates, we’re really feeling the need to slow down, catch our breath, and get caught up on our content! We tend to wing our plans a lot more than we used to, as we’re more comfortable and confident RVers now.

An average day depends on whether you have to work or not. We love that we no longer have a commute and that the views outside our windows change every week or so. Nature is a big part of our everyday life, so it can be easier to get in more walking, hiking, biking, or kayaking. We definitely get to see more sunsets — that’s a big thing for a lot of RVers.

RV life is still life. You need to go grocery shopping, make meals, do laundry, pay bills, and do housework. Then there’s RV maintenance and repairs! There’s almost always something to do on an RV — tighten screws, replace parts, troubleshoot issues, check your tire pressure, fix whatever’s broken.

Upon arrival at a destination, it usually takes less than 30 minutes to set up. It may sound like a hassle, but if you’re staying a week or more, it becomes a small percentage of your time. And RV life can be as social as you like. We tend to mostly stay in campgrounds, so it’s not too difficult to meet new people. And we also go to RV rallies to meet up with our RVing friends, who we stay in touch with online. It can take a little time to build your RV community, but if you put yourself out there, it can happen pretty quickly!

Do you need a lot of mechanical skills to do this? When you’re traveling around in an RV, if you aren’t already handy, you’ll learn to be! It’s definitely an advantage to become somewhat mechanical and familiar with simple tools. The RVing community is very helpful and supportive when it comes to finding answers for issues you may have — whether online (in social media groups) or in person. At RV parks and campgrounds, you will usually find someone reasonably experienced and mechanically oriented nearby. If you are not skilled or it’s a complex job, you can usually find a local or mobile repair person to perform needed maintenance or repairs.

We recommend sticking with a less complex RV when starting out. The more simple the RV, the more reliable and easy to fix they are likely to be, and you can tackle many repairs yourself. As full-time RVers driving a Class A motorhome, we only need to take our RV into repair facilities 2-3 times per year on average.

Many RV repairs are fairly simple, and that’s when YouTube and Google are your friends! One of our favorite YouTube channels is the RV Geeks, who make DIY how-to videos to help you make simple repairs and upgrades. It’s often more convenient (and definitely cheaper) to do many RV repairs yourself. And you may even want to consider an extended service contract to cover your RV for repairs outside of the manufacturer’s warranty period and help limit repair costs.

Are there any personality traits you think are necessary for living in an RV? Flexibility, adaptability, resourcefulness, and a sense of humor! Just like any other kind of travel, things don’t always go the way you want, RVs break (or break down), and travel plans go awry when you least expect it, so you need to be able to find a creative solution, often on the fly. It really helps to be handy or at least be willing to have a go at DIY fixes. RVers learn to become much more self-sufficient pretty quickly.

Anyone can RV if they really want to. It doesn’t matter about your age, life stage, relationship status, or financial situation. In our book, we share the inspiring story of 69-year-old Frieda who hit the road solo after her husband passed away and drove to Alaska to celebrate her 70th birthday. She’s been on the road for two years now and is still going strong.

Another great case study from the book is Nik and Allison (31 and 30). They share why they decided to RV and explore the country before they started a family. They follow the FIRE philosophy (Financial Independence, Retire Early) and save more than 50% of their income so Nik can be a stay-at-home dad. RVing for a year and a half while still working allowed them to do a lot of travel affordably while keeping them on track with their financial and life goals. 

There really is no “one way” to RV, just the right way for you. That’s why, when writing our book Living the RV Life: Your Ultimate Guide to Life on the Road, we wanted to create a roadmap for people that would help them hit the road and thrive, keeping them on track with their personal goals while they’re doing it. That’s been a big part of our own success. We’re almost five years in now and still living and loving the RV Life. Now we’re showing others how they can do it too.

A lot of people are embracing RV/van life these days. Why do you think that is? We think it’s a perfect storm of several things colliding simultaneously:

A lot of people are questioning the traditional American Dream as a path to success or happiness — the idea of postponing your life, travels, and experiences until retirement just doesn’t really make sense, and of course, the future is promised to no one. Why not travel while you have youth and health on your side?

Technology is enabling us to live and work from pretty much anywhere, and more companies are allowing people to work remotely, and more people are starting their own businesses.

Then there’s social media and FOMO! With the increased awareness that RV or van life is possible through watching people’s YouTube channels, Facebook pages, and Instagram feeds, other people are beginning to realize you can travel and see cool places, and live or work in forests or by lakes — and they want to do it too. America has long been famous for iconic road trips — and RVs and van life offer the ultimate freedom: exploring the country on wheels.

How much money will people need before they dive into RV life? It’s a good idea to pay off as much unsecured debt as possible before hitting the road. Less debt lightens your load and allows you to really enjoy the freedoms of RV life.

It all depends on how you want to RV, and your budget. Generally, we recommend people try to save up a few months of living expenses to get started, and as a backup for unforeseen challenges and expenses. Life happens, and you just never know when you may be hit with an unexpected expense or expensive RV repair.

As a guide, as long as you plan and budget carefully, and make a good RV purchasing decision, it’s possible to RV full-time for about $2,000–$3,000 per month. Some do it for less, and others do it for way more. But across the board, we find most RVers end up spending about the same in their RV life as they did in their regular life.

Just like in traditional life, you just have to plan to live and travel within your means. Plus, your ability to earn an income while you travel is a huge factor. If you can work from the road while you RV — as was the case for us — it can be a pretty simple trade.

For example, we sold our townhome and traded our mortgage payment, HOA, utility bills, and two car payments for:

A used RV, which we financed

A less-expensive car that we paid cash for

Campground and fuel expenses

What we previously spent on home repairs and maintenance for our home is now redirected to our RV. Same goes for RV insurance and roadside assistance. We tend to spend a bit more on eating out and entertainment, as we’re always on the move and experiencing new places. But it’s easy to save money by making meals in your RV, and there’s no shortage of things you can do for free, like hiking, biking, and kayaking.

Many people (like us) are able to work remotely with just an internet connection. Some work seasonally, then take a few months off to travel and explore. Other careers, like nursing, hospitality, agriculture, and construction are highly transferable to new locations, especially for seasonal work. For some lines of work, it can actually be easier to find jobs by having the ability to follow the work around the country.

We have met people who live full-time in vans or RVs frugally, for less than $20,000 per year. And we have seen others who spend well over $60,000 per year. Like all other forms of travel (and life!), expenses are variable, depending on how you do it.

What tips do you have for people who aren’t sure what RV, van, or trailer they should get? Buying an RV can be expensive, and buying the wrong RV can be even more expensive! Like anything with wheels, RVs depreciate (hard), and so doing your research in advance pays off. Before you even set foot on an RV dealer’s lot or go check out the RV you found on Craigslist, ask yourself:

Who is traveling with you? 

How much do you plan to travel? (weekends, part-time, full-time)

Where do you want to go? (campgrounds and RV parks or off-grid camping in national forests?)

Generally speaking, you’ll want to choose the smallest RV that you feel that you can comfortably live in. Smaller RVs offer more flexibility to access more places. Larger RVs are more comfortable for extended travel but will be more limiting in terms of where you can take them, especially if you want to stay in national parks and do off-grid camping.

Don’t overinvest in your first RV — it’s the one that will teach you what is most important to you and your travel style. Start out by buying used. You will avoid the steepest part of the depreciation curve. Plus, you’ll have a much better idea of what’s important to you when it comes time to buy your second RV. It’s possible to nail it with your first RV purchase, but not without a lot of research and clarity around your priorities.

What are some common pitfalls to avoid when starting out? Full-time RVing is not a vacation, it’s a lifestyle. It’s exciting when you start. You want to go everywhere and see and do everything. Try to create a sustainable travel pace from the beginning. Stay longer in an area. It’s cheaper – in terms of fuel and campground fees – and you’ll really be able to immerse yourself, explore, and even feel like a local for a while.

Second, it’s easy for people to think they need a big RV to be comfortable, especially when coming from a bigger home. In the RV lifestyle, your environment and views are constantly changing, so your world feels a lot bigger, even if your living space isn’t. It’s easier to live in a smaller space than you might expect, especially with way less “stuff.” Remember our advice above when it comes to choosing the right RV, so you can avoid that expensive mistake.

And finally, it can be hard to resist buying gadgets and gear before you even buy your RV! Every RV has cupboards and storage of different sizes and shapes, and you won’t know what fits where until you have your RV. Save money by hitting the road with the essentials, then spend some time traveling before investing in too many upgrades or gear. You’ll want to make sure they are going to be a fit for your preferred travel style. You can always buy what you need as you go. Don’t take too much stuff! You need less than you think and can get what you need as you travel.

Do you have any recommended companies for vans/RVs? What about resources for finding where to camp/park? It’s a good idea to consider renting an RV or van first, to see if you even like the lifestyle. You can rent RVs from rental companies and even from private individuals, which gives you more variety in the types of RVs you can choose from. This is really useful for helping you decide what kind of RV is right for you, before buying one. It may seem expensive, but making the wrong decision isn’t cheap either! Many large RV dealerships rent RVs, there are large rental chains like cruiseamerica.com or www.roadbearrv.com, but if you want to rent an RV from individuals for more variety, consider doing so via rvshare.com.

It is difficult to make specific recommendations about buying RVs, as there are hundreds of manufacturers, models, and types, and RVs are not like cars. The options, features, and price range of RVs vary widely. That said, we generally recommend buying a preowned RV, as they are usually more affordable, and, contrary to cars, you will generally experience fewer issues with a well-maintained preowned RV than with a brand-new unit. That’s because every RV — much like building a new house or condo — will have a “punch list” of items that need to be fixed for the first few months (or more) after you drive it off the dealer’s lot.

You can find RVs at RV dealers, on websites like RVTrader.com, as well as on Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace, and from friends and family. Local RV parks often have a community notice board of RVs for sale, too.

If you want to camp for free on public lands, there are websites like Campendium.com and Frugal Shunpiker’s Guides to find free camping areas. And there are thousands of RV parks and campgrounds around the country, which you can you find online, through apps, and in camping directories.

You can also look into camping memberships that offer discounts on your stays. For example, we spend a lot of time in a campground membership network that literally saves us thousands of dollars per year. Other websites and apps we recommend include CampgroundViews.com, Campendium, and AllStays. There are a ton out there, and you can find many more resources in our book and at our website, RV Love of course! 🙂

***

If you want more information, Marc and Julie Bennett are RVers who live, work, and travel from the road full-time, and since hitting the road in 2014, have visited all 50 USA states, plus Canada and Mexico. They are co-authors of Living the RV Life: Your Ultimate Guide to Life on the Road, and you can follow along on their journey via their website RV Love as well as their social media channels!

If you’d like to dive deep and get hands-on help on starting your own RV life, they also run online courses at RVSuccessSchool.com. As a Nomadic Matt reader, you can get 10% off their course with the code NOMADICMATT. Just input the code when you sign up!

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe, so you always know no stone is being left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld, as it has the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com, as it consistently returns the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them both all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it, as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use when I travel — and they will save you time and money too!

The post How to Live and Travel Full-Time by RV appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

source https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/rv-travel-tips/

How to Live and Travel Full-Time by RV

Posted: 3/7/2019 | March 7th, 2019

Over the past few years, there has been an explosion of people giving up the daily grind to live and travel in vans, RVs, and other nontraditional abodes. While traveling in an RV has been something people have been doing for decades, new sharing economy websites, better resources online, more modern vans, and a growing community that can provide support have made it easier for anyone to travel full-time in an RV.

What used to be traditionally and predominantly an activity for older, retired, or family travelers is now something people of all ages are trying to do.

One just has to look up #vanlife on social media to see!

(An aside: I hate the #vanlife movement. The faux Instagram movement does nothing for me. Just a bunch of millennials searching out that perfect sponsored photo and talking about how woke they are (for the most part)).

But #vanlife aside, RV travel is a wonderful way to see the world.

“How do you travel in an RV?” is one of the questions I’m most asked.

So today, we’re going to the experts and talking full-time RV with nomads Marc and Julie from RV Love. This couple joined my blogging program a few years ago, hoping to find a way to spread the gospel of living and traveling in an RV to the wider world. (Spoiler: they did. And they just published a book with Simon & Schuster about it too!)

They’ve been driving around in their RV for nearly five years and, today, they share their wisdom about how to travel by RV:

Nomadic Matt: Tell us about yourselves! How did you get into this? Marc and Julie: We’re Marc and Julie Bennett, full-time RVers since 2014, living, working, and traveling in our motorhome as we explore North America and the world! We met on the dating website eHarmony while both living in Colorado in 2010, married in 2011, and hit the road three years later!

Why did you pick traveling in an RV as your way to get around? We knew we wanted to do a lot more extended travel while we were still working. We get such little vacation time here in the USA, and we didn’t want that to limit our lives. So we started exploring different ways to bring more travel and adventure into our everyday life without Marc having to give up his job as project manager of operations, which he was able to do from home.

We considered international travel, but there were two main reasons why wasn’t a fit: the challenge of time zones, and more specifically, we wanted to travel with our dog Coda. Plus, we love to drive, so RVing was really the ideal solution for us. We love that wherever we go, we’re always home, and we’re not living out of suitcases.

We’re both passionate about driving, so it makes sense that we would choose to live and travel by RV, although we usually prefer more sporty rides when it comes to entertainment, as we both have a love for sports cars and convertibles.

What’s life like living and traveling around in an RV? We just entered our fifth year on the road full-time as RVers, and we recently changed from a 2012 36’ gas Class A motorhome to a 1999 40’ diesel motorhome! We bucked the trend and went bigger (and older and cheaper, but much higher quality), and we’re actually doing a complete remodel of our RV this summer.

Traditionally, we spend about 80% of our time in campgrounds and about 20% dry camping, but we recently installed a big lithium battery bank and solar system on our RV, so we plan on spending a lot more time camping off the grid out in nature in the coming years. We try to spend 2-3 weeks in each location, but that varies on where we are, the weather, and what projects we have on our plates. We moved pretty fast in our first 3+ years, having visited all 50 states while still working full-time.

This year, we have so many big and exciting projects on our plates, we’re really feeling the need to slow down, catch our breath, and get caught up on our content! We tend to wing our plans a lot more than we used to, as we’re more comfortable and confident RVers now.

An average day depends on whether you have to work or not. We love that we no longer have a commute and that the views outside our windows change every week or so. Nature is a big part of our everyday life, so it can be easier to get in more walking, hiking, biking, or kayaking. We definitely get to see more sunsets — that’s a big thing for a lot of RVers.

RV life is still life. You need to go grocery shopping, make meals, do laundry, pay bills, and do housework. Then there’s RV maintenance and repairs! There’s almost always something to do on an RV — tighten screws, replace parts, troubleshoot issues, check your tire pressure, fix whatever’s broken.

Upon arrival at a destination, it usually takes less than 30 minutes to set up. It may sound like a hassle, but if you’re staying a week or more, it becomes a small percentage of your time. And RV life can be as social as you like. We tend to mostly stay in campgrounds, so it’s not too difficult to meet new people. And we also go to RV rallies to meet up with our RVing friends, who we stay in touch with online. It can take a little time to build your RV community, but if you put yourself out there, it can happen pretty quickly!

Do you need a lot of mechanical skills to do this? When you’re traveling around in an RV, if you aren’t already handy, you’ll learn to be! It’s definitely an advantage to become somewhat mechanical and familiar with simple tools. The RVing community is very helpful and supportive when it comes to finding answers for issues you may have — whether online (in social media groups) or in person. At RV parks and campgrounds, you will usually find someone reasonably experienced and mechanically oriented nearby. If you are not skilled or it’s a complex job, you can usually find a local or mobile repair person to perform needed maintenance or repairs.

We recommend sticking with a less complex RV when starting out. The more simple the RV, the more reliable and easy to fix they are likely to be, and you can tackle many repairs yourself. As full-time RVers driving a Class A motorhome, we only need to take our RV into repair facilities 2-3 times per year on average.

Many RV repairs are fairly simple, and that’s when YouTube and Google are your friends! One of our favorite YouTube channels is the RV Geeks, who make DIY how-to videos to help you make simple repairs and upgrades. It’s often more convenient (and definitely cheaper) to do many RV repairs yourself. And you may even want to consider an extended service contract to cover your RV for repairs outside of the manufacturer’s warranty period and help limit repair costs.

Are there any personality traits you think are necessary for living in an RV? Flexibility, adaptability, resourcefulness, and a sense of humor! Just like any other kind of travel, things don’t always go the way you want, RVs break (or break down), and travel plans go awry when you least expect it, so you need to be able to find a creative solution, often on the fly. It really helps to be handy or at least be willing to have a go at DIY fixes. RVers learn to become much more self-sufficient pretty quickly.

Anyone can RV if they really want to. It doesn’t matter about your age, life stage, relationship status, or financial situation. In our book, we share the inspiring story of 69-year-old Frieda who hit the road solo after her husband passed away and drove to Alaska to celebrate her 70th birthday. She’s been on the road for two years now and is still going strong.

Another great case study from the book is Nik and Allison (31 and 30). They share why they decided to RV and explore the country before they started a family. They follow the FIRE philosophy (Financial Independence, Retire Early) and save more than 50% of their income so Nik can be a stay-at-home dad. RVing for a year and a half while still working allowed them to do a lot of travel affordably while keeping them on track with their financial and life goals. 

There really is no “one way” to RV, just the right way for you. That’s why, when writing our book Living the RV Life: Your Ultimate Guide to Life on the Road, we wanted to create a roadmap for people that would help them hit the road and thrive, keeping them on track with their personal goals while they’re doing it. That’s been a big part of our own success. We’re almost five years in now and still living and loving the RV Life. Now we’re showing others how they can do it too.

A lot of people are embracing RV/van life these days. Why do you think that is? We think it’s a perfect storm of several things colliding simultaneously:

A lot of people are questioning the traditional American Dream as a path to success or happiness — the idea of postponing your life, travels, and experiences until retirement just doesn’t really make sense, and of course, the future is promised to no one. Why not travel while you have youth and health on your side?

Technology is enabling us to live and work from pretty much anywhere, and more companies are allowing people to work remotely, and more people are starting their own businesses.

Then there’s social media and FOMO! With the increased awareness that RV or van life is possible through watching people’s YouTube channels, Facebook pages, and Instagram feeds, other people are beginning to realize you can travel and see cool places, and live or work in forests or by lakes — and they want to do it too. America has long been famous for iconic road trips — and RVs and van life offer the ultimate freedom: exploring the country on wheels.

How much money will people need before they dive into RV life? It’s a good idea to pay off as much unsecured debt as possible before hitting the road. Less debt lightens your load and allows you to really enjoy the freedoms of RV life.

It all depends on how you want to RV, and your budget. Generally, we recommend people try to save up a few months of living expenses to get started, and as a backup for unforeseen challenges and expenses. Life happens, and you just never know when you may be hit with an unexpected expense or expensive RV repair.

As a guide, as long as you plan and budget carefully, and make a good RV purchasing decision, it’s possible to RV full-time for about $2,000–$3,000 per month. Some do it for less, and others do it for way more. But across the board, we find most RVers end up spending about the same in their RV life as they did in their regular life.

Just like in traditional life, you just have to plan to live and travel within your means. Plus, your ability to earn an income while you travel is a huge factor. If you can work from the road while you RV — as was the case for us — it can be a pretty simple trade.

For example, we sold our townhome and traded our mortgage payment, HOA, utility bills, and two car payments for:

A used RV, which we financed

A less-expensive car that we paid cash for

Campground and fuel expenses

What we previously spent on home repairs and maintenance for our home is now redirected to our RV. Same goes for RV insurance and roadside assistance. We tend to spend a bit more on eating out and entertainment, as we’re always on the move and experiencing new places. But it’s easy to save money by making meals in your RV, and there’s no shortage of things you can do for free, like hiking, biking, and kayaking.

Many people (like us) are able to work remotely with just an internet connection. Some work seasonally, then take a few months off to travel and explore. Other careers, like nursing, hospitality, agriculture, and construction are highly transferable to new locations, especially for seasonal work. For some lines of work, it can actually be easier to find jobs by having the ability to follow the work around the country.

We have met people who live full-time in vans or RVs frugally, for less than $20,000 per year. And we have seen others who spend well over $60,000 per year. Like all other forms of travel (and life!), expenses are variable, depending on how you do it.

What tips do you have for people who aren’t sure what RV, van, or trailer they should get? Buying an RV can be expensive, and buying the wrong RV can be even more expensive! Like anything with wheels, RVs depreciate (hard), and so doing your research in advance pays off. Before you even set foot on an RV dealer’s lot or go check out the RV you found on Craigslist, ask yourself:

Who is traveling with you? 

How much do you plan to travel? (weekends, part-time, full-time)

Where do you want to go? (campgrounds and RV parks or off-grid camping in national forests?)

Generally speaking, you’ll want to choose the smallest RV that you feel that you can comfortably live in. Smaller RVs offer more flexibility to access more places. Larger RVs are more comfortable for extended travel but will be more limiting in terms of where you can take them, especially if you want to stay in national parks and do off-grid camping.

Don’t overinvest in your first RV — it’s the one that will teach you what is most important to you and your travel style. Start out by buying used. You will avoid the steepest part of the depreciation curve. Plus, you’ll have a much better idea of what’s important to you when it comes time to buy your second RV. It’s possible to nail it with your first RV purchase, but not without a lot of research and clarity around your priorities.

What are some common pitfalls to avoid when starting out? Full-time RVing is not a vacation, it’s a lifestyle. It’s exciting when you start. You want to go everywhere and see and do everything. Try to create a sustainable travel pace from the beginning. Stay longer in an area. It’s cheaper – in terms of fuel and campground fees – and you’ll really be able to immerse yourself, explore, and even feel like a local for a while.

Second, it’s easy for people to think they need a big RV to be comfortable, especially when coming from a bigger home. In the RV lifestyle, your environment and views are constantly changing, so your world feels a lot bigger, even if your living space isn’t. It’s easier to live in a smaller space than you might expect, especially with way less “stuff.” Remember our advice above when it comes to choosing the right RV, so you can avoid that expensive mistake.

And finally, it can be hard to resist buying gadgets and gear before you even buy your RV! Every RV has cupboards and storage of different sizes and shapes, and you won’t know what fits where until you have your RV. Save money by hitting the road with the essentials, then spend some time traveling before investing in too many upgrades or gear. You’ll want to make sure they are going to be a fit for your preferred travel style. You can always buy what you need as you go. Don’t take too much stuff! You need less than you think and can get what you need as you travel.

Do you have any recommended companies for vans/RVs? What about resources for finding where to camp/park? It’s a good idea to consider renting an RV or van first, to see if you even like the lifestyle. You can rent RVs from rental companies and even from private individuals, which gives you more variety in the types of RVs you can choose from. This is really useful for helping you decide what kind of RV is right for you, before buying one. It may seem expensive, but making the wrong decision isn’t cheap either! Many large RV dealerships rent RVs, there are large rental chains like cruiseamerica.com or www.roadbearrv.com, but if you want to rent an RV from individuals for more variety, consider doing so via rvshare.com.

It is difficult to make specific recommendations about buying RVs, as there are hundreds of manufacturers, models, and types, and RVs are not like cars. The options, features, and price range of RVs vary widely. That said, we generally recommend buying a preowned RV, as they are usually more affordable, and, contrary to cars, you will generally experience fewer issues with a well-maintained preowned RV than with a brand-new unit. That’s because every RV — much like building a new house or condo — will have a “punch list” of items that need to be fixed for the first few months (or more) after you drive it off the dealer’s lot.

You can find RVs at RV dealers, on websites like RVTrader.com, as well as on Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace, and from friends and family. Local RV parks often have a community notice board of RVs for sale, too.

If you want to camp for free on public lands, there are websites like Campendium.com and Frugal Shunpiker’s Guides to find free camping areas. And there are thousands of RV parks and campgrounds around the country, which you can you find online, through apps, and in camping directories.

You can also look into camping memberships that offer discounts on your stays. For example, we spend a lot of time in a campground membership network that literally saves us thousands of dollars per year. Other websites and apps we recommend include CampgroundViews.com, Campendium, and AllStays. There are a ton out there, and you can find many more resources in our book and at our website, RV Love of course! 🙂

***

If you want more information, Marc and Julie Bennett are RVers who live, work, and travel from the road full-time, and since hitting the road in 2014, have visited all 50 USA states, plus Canada and Mexico. They are co-authors of Living the RV Life: Your Ultimate Guide to Life on the Road, and you can follow along on their journey via their website RV Love as well as their social media channels!

If you’d like to dive deep and get hands-on help on starting your own RV life, they also run online courses at RVSuccessSchool.com. As a Nomadic Matt reader, you can get 10% off their course with the code NOMADICMATT. Just input the code when you sign up!

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe, so you always know no stone is being left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld, as it has the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com, as it consistently returns the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them both all the time.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it, as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

World Nomads (for everyone below 70)

Insure My Trip (for those over 70)

Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all the ones I use when I travel — and they will save you time and money too!

The post How to Live and Travel Full-Time by RV appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

from Traveling News https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/rv-travel-tips/

Leaving Honduras, Florida for Christmas, and a Month in Peru

Roatan, Honduras: October 15-November 5 Miami layover Santo Domingo/Bayahibe, Dominican Republic: November 6-9 Las Terrenas, Dominican Republic: November 9-16 Samana, Dominican Republic: November 16-18 Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic: November 18-19 Philadelphia layover Roatan, Honduras: November 20-December 19 La Ceiba, Honduras: December 19-22 San Pedro Sula, Honduras: December 22-23 Florida: December 23-January 3 Lima, Peru: January 3-5 Cusco, Peru: January 5-9 Aguas Calientes, Peru: January 9-10 Ollantaytambo, Peru: January 10-14 Urubamba, Peru: January 14-15 Pisac, Peru: January 15-16 Cusco, Peru: January 16-17 Puno, Peru: January 17-19 Amantani and Taquile Islas on Lake Titicaca: January 19-20 Puno, Peru: January 20-23 Copacabana, Bolivia: January 23-25 Isla Del Sol, Bolivia: January 25-26 Puno, Peru: January 26-30 Medellín, Colombia: January 30 I last wrote over a month ago when I was still on Roatan. My friend, Jill and I traveled by ferry to La Ceiba on the Honduras mainland to spend a few nights on the Rio Cangrejal. A friend of a friend, Pepe owns a beautiful lodge on the river and welcomed us as his guests (muchas gracias, Ian for connecting me with Pepe!). Jill and I enjoyed relaxing at the house overlooking the mountains and waterfall, cooking our meals, and some adventure activities. One day, we had a guide who took us hiking through the mountains and jungle that is a national park right in the backyard, to a huge waterfall. A storm started up and it poured on us on the hike back; still very fun! The next day, we went river rafting with two guides, one on our raft yelling commands in Spanish and the other in a kayak to rescue us should we fall in. It was pretty thrilling to raft the tumultuous river after such big storms. Jill and I treated ourselves to massages on our final night there, and took the bus further in the mainland to San Pedro Sula, where she would continue her travels to Guatemala and I caught a flight to Florida. I met my dad, stepmom and sister in Florida to spend Christmas and New Year's with our family who lives there. We all had a nice visit; I was especially missing my dad and Brittany after not having seen them for months, so it was really lovely to be together over the holidays. I don't often get to see my uncle, aunt and little cousins who live in Florida, so I enjoyed catching up and spending time with them. We were all together on Christmas to open gifts by the tree, relaxed into true vacation mode by the pool at our resort, rode duck boats on a lake one afternoon, and spent a day at Walt Disney World. Great family time. I planned to go to Peru from Florida, and I was determined to get there... My standby flight out of Orlando was not cooperating and I made a command decision to get myself to Miami that day, in a matter of hours, to fly to Lima as planned. I booked a car rental as I sat at the gate in Orlando, ran through the airport and jumped in the car, drove as quickly as possible to Miami without any potty or meal breaks, and ran through the Miami airport with no time to spare as I claimed my seat on the flight out. I would not have been able to even check in for the Miami flight if I still had to check my bag; thankfully, my bag was already checked through to Lima from Orlando, although it did not arrive in Lima and I was without my luggage for a couple days... but, I was just happy to make it to Lima and thoroughly enjoyed my introduction to Peru! I explored Lima on my own for a couple days before I planned to meet my friend from San Francisco and Burning Man, Victor, to fly together to Cusco. I stayed in the lovely Barranco district, which is more quaint and less touristy than other parts of the large city. I joined a free walking tour of the historic center during my first morning there, enjoyed my first taste of authentic ceviche and a pisco sour (or two), then sat on the massive cliffs to watch sunset over the Pacific Ocean. The next morning, I collected my lost luggage at the Lima airport and met Victor for our flight to Cusco. Flying in to Cusco was a memorable experience, as it is nestled in a dramatic valley and at such a high altitude. Our first meal in Cusco was at Inkazuela, which I highly recommend for their delicious stews. We stayed at an adorable hostal called Pisko & Soul in the artsy San Blas district for four nights. On our second evening in Cusco, we went to a dance and music show at the cultural center. The following day, we rented bicycles from our hostal to ride to the Saksaywaman Incan ruins, which turned out to be a mistake, albeit good exercise, because it was straight up cobblestone streets and a massive hill. Saksaywaman is very impressive and was an ideal introduction to the numerous Incan and pre-Incan ruins that I would see over the next few weeks. I was struck by the meaning of the name of the ruins, which means "satisfied falcon;" this could refer to the scavenger birds that feasted after the Incan defeat by Spanish conquistadors at this very site. This next bit of my time in Cusco I hesitated to divulge, but I am not ashamed and want to share my profound experience. After doing personal research and seeking out a trustworthy organization called CAISAE, I decided to participate in an ayahuasca ceremony. Part of making this decision was to determine if I felt mentally and spiritually ready for what I knew would be an intense journey and not something to take lightly. I was curious about what this medicine (I'll admit, I formally thought of it as a drug, before I learned better) could do for me. The medicine ayahuasca is a combination of two plants that grow in the jungle: one is the ayahuasca vine itself that has the DMT or "spirit molecule," which the brain naturally contains and is released during birth, death, near-death experiences and while dreaming; the second plant contained in the medicine, chacruna, stops the enzyme in the stomach from breaking down the DMT before it is able to reach the brain. Ayahuasca has been used in ceremony for centuries by South American indigenous societies. In preparation for the ayahuasca ceremony, I altered my diet and cleansed with volcanic water. I was already feeling more balanced going into the ceremony, after releasing toxins and the garbage build up in my body, and meditating on my intentions for taking ayahuasca. The private ceremony was in a compound in Lamay, which is a small village outside Cusco in the Sacred Valley. My shaman, someone who is of a lineage of ayahuasca masters and healers, and brought up to practice this medicine, had worked with ayahuasca for thirty years! He and his assistant who speaks English are both wonderful. The whole experience was six to seven hours long. The shaman and assistant verbally prepared me for what I might experience, I drank the ayahuasca that was prepared especially for me, and kept my eyes closed as I awaited its effects. My trance was rather indescribable and consisted of beautiful visions, some otherworldly environment and beings. I was being led by a being who I believed to be Pachamama, the goddess of the earth. She (and I later realize that this could also be my own powerful brain) showed me love and understanding of what my own spirituality means. In more recent years, I have felt that I am spiritual, but didn't really understand what that means until I was given the gift of seeing this other dimension, spirits and energy, both good and bad. Yes, I encountered terrifying visions in the form of my own demons and, yes, I was physically ill more than once, which was cleansing in itself, both of which are expected when taking ayahuasca. After I was ill, I felt the medicine working on my body, as I was told to expect. At one point, I felt that I was laying on an operating table and Pachamama or Grandmother Ayahuasca was working over me, healing my body, mind and spirit, potentially destructive things that I didn't even realize that I had in me. I lay silent for most of the trance, other than occasionally involuntarily verbally joining my shaman's chanting. I was physically very cold and huddled in a fetus position under heavy blankets. I felt immense protection from my shaman during my experience; he was there to guide me and defend me from the challenging encounters and feelings that ayahuasca conjures up, and the shaman is said to be experiencing or observing the same as me during my trance. I followed a strict diet of no red meat, caffeine, and alcohol for seven days after the ceremony, which is the first time that I have consciously limited what I consume and I feel more healthy for it. Since taking ayahuasca, I have felt more relaxed and at ease, and compassionate for myself and others. I am still contemplating what concrete changes I am empowered to make, but am feeling content in my spiritual growth, as a start. In debrief with my shaman and assistant following the ceremony, I was told that I should focus on loving myself so that I can better love others, as well as making time for meditation; I think that in this meditation, I will be better able to determine my personal takeaways and next steps. As a mailing list out of Peru called Soul Herbs puts it, "ayahuasca will bring forth what is hiding dormant. Make the conscious changes to better yourself. In the end, you will better the world." Namaste. From Cusco, Victor and I took the train from the Sacred Valley to Aguas Calientes where we spent the night before visiting Machu Picchu the following day. This was an experience unlike any other, even the winding bus ride up to the entry gate. This wonder of the world easily took my breath away, especially because the trek up the Wayna Picchu mountain literally did just that. Wayna Picchu towers behind Machu Picchu, has its own ruins, and offers incredible views, after hiking straight up its mountainside, sometimes on all fours and grasping to the safety cables. After we had our fill of eye candy and took our own postcard-ready photos, we hiked back down and explored the impressive Machu Picchu ruins, stopping to say hello to the occasional wild llama that lives and grazes in the grass plaza. After this exhausting day, we went for massages before our train ride back to Ollantaytambo in the Sacred Valley. Victor left Peru the next morning to return home to California and back to work. I am glad for this special time that we spent together and appreciate sharing the start of my first experience in Peru with a good friend who happens to be part Peruvian; I am grateful that he invited me to join him for part of his travels and I was able to work it into my own plans. I stayed in Ollantaytambo for three more nights and caught up on my rest, which was fitting since Ollantaytambo means "resting place." It is the longest continuously inhabited town since Incan times. I stayed at Casa de Wow, where I slept in a lovely, artistic bunk bed made of tree trunk. I explored the Ollantaytambo terraces and ruins, the much more quaint and less well known Quellorakay ruins, an Incan bridge, and went with a couple Swiss travelers to see the Pumamarka ruins outside of town, after which we hiked back to Ollantaytambo past dramatic mountain and valley views. It was with these same travelers from the hostel that I left Ollantaytambo to slowly make my way through the Sacred Valley and back to Cusco. We spent an afternoon making scenic pit stops at the immense circular Moray terraces, which were an Incan agricultural experiment at planting various crops at different altitudes; we also saw the Salineras de Maras salt pans, which were built in Incan times and still in use today. They dropped me off at the town of Urubamba where I spent a restful night at a beautiful property filled with gardens that was recently converted into a very affordable hostel. The next morning I made my way to Pisac, the heart of and my last stop in the Sacred Valley. I was there for the big Sunday market in the main square and did quite a bit of shopping before venturing up to the ruins above town, which were some of the most beautiful that I've seen. I hiked back down into town from the ruins and enjoyed a meal of lomo saltado and pisco drinks that evening, my first red meat and alcohol in over a week. I returned to Cusco the following morning, spent the afternoon perusing a couple of interesting art and history museums, and booked my bus ticket to Puno, Lake Titicaca for the morning. After a six hour bus ride, I had my first glimpse of Lake Titicaca, which is sapphire blue and vast enough that it appears to be the ocean, especially on cloudy days when you cannot see the Bolivian shore on the other side. Puno is the folkloric capital of Peru and known for its festivals and cultural celebrations. I stayed for a couple nights at a hostel in town and went to a dinner show that featured cultural costumes, dance and live music. My visit to the Coca and Costumes Museum helped me to understand the meaning behind these various traditional costumes and dances, as well as the history of coca use. I went on a day trip via ferry to visit the floating islands of Uros, who are an ethnic group of fishermen; they originally built their boats and islands with totora reeds as a defensive move from the Incans and other tribes who were a threat on the mainland. The following morning, I took another ferry for four hours to the island of Amantani, where I planned to spend the night with a local family homestay. I was thrilled when I boarded the ferry and was reading through the pamphlet that the boat captain handed to me to learn that I was headed to Amantani on the very day of an annual festival: "the most important festivity called Qhapaq Pachamama Raymi [or 'Festival of the Sacred Land,' which] is about agriculture." Each district, or perhaps it was family groups, don colorful traditional attire and march up to the Pachamama and Pachatata temples on the two hills at the top of the island. They all play live music with flutes and drums, picnic on the grass, and gather in a huge circle for the formal ceremony to pay homage to and honor the bounty of the earth. It was a beautiful day to see this island, a tough hike up the steep hills, and I enjoyed traveling with the Argentinians, Belgians and other Americans who shared the ferry boat and homestay. On the ferry back to Puno the next day, we stopped at the island of Taquile and hiked to the town center where we perused the handicrafts market of the local men who knit, according to tradition, followed by a delicious lunch of trout before our ferry back to Puno. While in Puno, I visited the Casa del Corregidor on the main plaza, which is a 17th-century house that now has a cafe and bar. I asked the bartender about a sign for horseback riding on a nearby farm because I had been wanting to horseback ride in the Sacred Valley and had heard some about the special Peruvian paso horses. I ended up meeting the two twin brothers who own the cafe and farm, then scheduled horseback riding and an overnight on the farm. I ended up staying three nights at the lovely Fundo Chincheros, which is just outside of Puno. It is a large, very comfortable and relaxing house in the countryside of grassy rolling hills. There are llamas and alpacas, cows, and horses that live on the farm. I went on a couple afternoon horseback rides and found that it is really pleasant to ride the Peruvian paso horses, who are lively and have a nice trot as their normal speed. Other guests from Lima and Puno were there for a night and invited me to join for their decadent barbecue; we ended the night around a campfire that I built. My time in Peru luckily coincided with a couple festivals, around which I had not planned and was gladly surprised. The festival on Amantani was the best so far, with the festival of La Virgen de la Candelaria for Puno's patron saint coming up on January 29th and, in the meantime, I decided to go to Copacabana on Lake Titicaca in Bolivia to see their Alasitas festival on January 24th. I took a "combi" south from Puno along the lake; combis are essentially minivans that are packed full of people traveling in the same direction with informal stops along the way when someone hollers at the driver. There were 20 people crammed into one of the combis that I took! I was dropped off at the Peru-Bolivia border, walked across and caught a taxi on the other side to Copacabana. I enjoyed my couple nights in the relaxed, hippy town of Copacabana. I climbed the hill above town, Cerro Calvario, and was awarded with a beautiful, but windy and freezing, view of the lake. The Alasitas festival the following day was a bit strange to me; it honors Ekeko, the Aymara god of abundance, and features gift giving of miniature items that one wants to become real in the next year. I saw families waiting in their cars adorned with flowers and decorations in a long line to the front of the cathedral, where they pay a Catholic priest to bless the miniatures. They then spray their cars with champagne. I wasn't very taken with this festival, but am glad that I saw some of it. I took a two hour ferry ride the next morning to Isla del Sol, which is a well known destination for its scenery and because it is said to be the birthplace of the sun and the first Incas. I disembarked the ferry on the north side of the island to see the beautiful Chincana Incan ruins that are perched above a tiny, white sand beach. Then, I hiked for two hours across the island to the southern tip, where I had a hostel booked for the night. It was very cold, windy and rainy on the island, so I decided not to extend my stay for another night. I thoroughly enjoyed a dinner that evening and lunch the following day at a restaurant called Las Velas, which is tucked into a forest of eucalyptus trees and run by a husband and wife team of gourmet chefs. After the ferry ride back to Copacabana, taxi, to then walk across the border back into Peru, and long combi ride, I am now back in Puno for a few nights. My month in Peru has been more of an experience than I could have expected. Peruvians are friendly and wise people, the specialty food and drinks here have been a treat, and my personal cleansing and spiritual growth is invaluable. I have enjoyed reading "The White Rock," which is about an explorer's experience in Cusco, The Sacred Valley, Bolivia, and Ecuador. It has been neat that what I am reading has often mirrored where I currently am and what I am experiencing, let alone learning more about the history of the Incans and Spanish conquest. I will fly to Medellín, Colombia on the 30th to meet my mom, and couldn't be more excited! I plan to spend the month of February in Colombia, possibly ending with the big Carnaval festival in Barranquilla on the north coast. Adios!

Blindsided, Chapter 6

A week later, Allie and Nic arrived with Aunt Lara at the Welch residence at noon with Charlie’s cremated remains. Uncle Mike had dug a hole next to the shade tree in his backyard the night before while Aunt Lara had set up a table in the backyard with flowers and framed pictures of Charlie on it. They were greeted by a small group of friends, family members and a few dog owners whose pets had often played with Charlie in the park.

After placing Charlie’s urn on top of the table in the backyard next to Charlie’s photographs, Allie joined in on the potluck set out on the dining room table. Nic and Aunt Lara sat on either side of her while her cousins and Tara Olsen, the woman who had raised and trained Charlie to be a guide dog, sat across from her. For an hour or so, they fondly exchanged stories about Charlie as they ate their meal and expressed their condolences to Allie over his passing.

Once everyone had finished eating, they all gathered around Allie as she stood with the urn in her hands in front of the shade tree. The mood was solemn as Nic and the others watched her place it in the hole in the ground. He looked up at the darkening sky and prayed that it wouldn’t rain.

Allie, who seemed oblivious to the weather and everything else that was going on around her, bowed her head as she sat on the ground with her hands on the lid of the urn and prayed. When she was ready, she stood up and turned around to face everyone. “Thank you all so much for coming,” she said, fighting back tears. “As you can all probably imagine, it’s been a very difficult week for me. Charlie just wasn’t a pet. He was my right-hand man. He was also my protector and best friend. I’m going to miss him.”

With that said, Nic took her hand in his and held it tight as she came and stood by his side. Uncle Mike came forward, shovel in hand, and began to fill the hole with dirt while everyone in attendance paid their final respects before departing.  

Nic and Allie went over to the porch swing directly facing the shade tree and sat in companionable silence for some time afterward as they slowly rocked back and forth.  He had his arm around her while she leaned her head against his shoulder. Finally, Allie said, “Do you believe that pets go to heaven too?”

Nic smiled. “If there was ever a dog that deserved to, I bet Charlie would be at the top of the list.”

“I can totally see my parents spoiling him right now,” Allie replied. “My dad’s sister, Aunt Susie, told me how good he was with dogs while they were growing up. I just wish I’d had more time with him, you know.”

“Do you remember much about him?”

Allie shook her head. “I was only five when he died on 9/11.” She bit her lip, then added, “The only clear memory I have of him is running into his arms after opening all my Christmas presents. Right after he died, Aunt Lara said that she often found me crying while looking through family photo albums with him in it.”

He pictured her as a little girl and wished that he could go back in time to comfort her and tell her that everything was going to be all right. “Tell me about your mother. What was she like?”

“I was only eight when my mom died of lung cancer so even my memories of her have gotten a little fuzzy,” Allie replied with notable regret. “I remember watching her through the screen door while she smoked. She always seemed kind of sad. I don’t think she ever really got over losing my dad.”

Nic replied, “I was thirteen when my madre died of breast cancer. She was diagnosed when I was twelve. She underwent a mastectomy and did a round of chemotherapy. Afterward, the doctors told her that she was cancer free. But then, when she went in for a checkup a year later, they discovered that it had spread to her other organs. She died less than six months later.”

It felt good to tell her this. Outside of his padre and abuelos, he’d largely kept these painful memories of his madre to himself. But with her, it was different. He felt like he could talk to her about anything without judgment. He was also firm in his belief that she would keep his secrets in the strictest of confidence and would never use them against him.

“I don’t think you ever really get over losing a parent,” Allie said. “I used to get so jealous of all the other kids at school when I would see them getting picked up by their mom or dad after school. Don’t get me wrong, my aunt and uncle have been awesome and did everything they could to make sure I felt safe and loved, but...”

“You don’t have to explain. I had similar feelings when it came to my madrasta. I think that the English word for it is stepmother. Monica was gracious and kind from the first moment my padre introduced her to me. Even so, part of me resented her presence in our lives and worried that she might diminish the place my madre held in my padre’s heart.”

“Did that happen?”

“No,” Nic replied. “She has treated my madre’s place in our lives with the utmost respect and consideration. My padre was devastated after she died. Monica gave him a reason to smile and showed him that it was possible to love again.”

Allie was quiet for a moment, then said, “I miss Charlie.”

Nic kissed her forehead and pulled her closer. “You’re going to be okay. Just give it time. We’ve both been through this kind of loss before. Maybe when you get your new guide dog—”

“That’s the thing,” Allie cut in. “I don’t know if I want to do that.”

That was news to Nic. Although Allie had shown him in the last few days that she was perfectly capable of getting around campus on her own, he’d assumed that she’d get another dog once she’d finished grieving over Charlie. He asked, “Why not?”

“I’ve been thinking more and more about that retinal implant surgery my ophthalmologist, Dr. Severin, told me about. He’s said that I’d be an ideal candidate for the procedure. To be eligible, you need to be over the age of 21, have little or no light perception in both eyes and have had previous sight.” She then paused and shook her head, adding, “I just wish that I could afford to do it.”

“How much money are we talking about?”

Allie sighed and said, “$150,000.00. Even if I start working full-time right after I graduate, most of my take home pay is going to go toward food, rent and repaying my student loans. Social workers don’t exactly get paid the big bucks. It might take me decades before I’d be able to save up the money for it.”

“How much of your sight would this procedure restore?”

She furrowed her brow in thought, then said, “I don’t think I’d be able to see as well as you can. The know-how’s just not there yet, but Dr. Severin did say that the technology involved in the most recently FDA-approved retinal implant procedure would likely give me the ability to see full images and read print,” Allie replied, the excitement in her voice palpable. “I’d be able to see you and get around without having to use a cane or a guide dog. Imagine that.”

Although the idea of her seeing his mangled face filled him with anxiety and dread, he kept those thoughts to himself. Instead, he asked her, “How long would the surgery take?”

“About four hours, I think. And then, a couple of weeks later, I’d be outfitted with a pair of high-tech glasses that would work together with the implant to give me my eyesight back.”

A brief lull in the conversation ensued. During this time, Nic calculated the amount of money he had in liquid and near-liquid assets in his head and how long it would take to transfer it into his checking account. All in all, he estimated that he had about $100,000.00 that he could easily access. He asked, “Would you say to a friend if he gave you the money to pay for it?”

“No,” Allie replied flatly. “I would never ask someone I knew to shell out that kind of money for me. I just don’t think that I’d feel comfortable accepting it.”

Her reply reminded him of her reaction when he’d recently offered to pay for Charlie’s vet bills. Despite her flat-out refusal to accept any assistance in this regard, he inquired further. “But what if that person had the means and the desire to do it and made it clear to you that he or she didn’t want nor expect anything in return?”

“I’d still say no. It’s my problem, no one else’s, and I would never ask a friend to shoulder that kind of financial burden on my account.”

“So, you’re telling me that there’s no way you’d do the surgery unless you paid for it yourself?”

After a brief pause, she replied, “The only way I could see myself doing it with someone else’s money would be if it had been donated to the university’s Eye Institute for patients like me who need this type of surgery. But I’m not going to hold my breath for that to happen anytime soon.”

For a little while, they said little as they continued to swing back and forth, each lost in thought. Nic, for his part, found the part of himself that wanted to do whatever he could to help her see again to be increasingly at odds with his fear that she might be repulsed by the way he looked once her sight was restored.

Allie spoke up first.  “You’re awfully quiet. What’s on your mind?”

“I was just thinking about what you said…about seeing my face.”

“And?”

“Most people who have have either had a big laugh about it at my expense or recoiled in disgust.”

“I wouldn’t. You know that, right?”

“If you actually knew what I looked like, you might think differently.”

Allie frowned. “It’s what a person’s like on the inside that counts. The man that I’ve gotten to know is funny, intelligent and kind. You’re someone that I can count on and confide in. Do you have any idea how much your friendship has meant to me?”

“I’d do it again,” Nic confessed as his chest tightened with emotion. For you, anything.

“I know you would,” Allie replied. “And I’d be there for you too.”

Nic paused, then said, “I sometimes wish you could have known me before…when I was still whole.”

“Nicole told me that you looked hot in the pictures she saw of you on the internet,” Allie said with a laugh. Nic smiled. “But I doubt that that guy would have looked at me twice.”

“That’s not true.”

“Is it?” Allie bit her lip as she twirled strands of her hair around her fingers. “I bet you had girls falling all over themselves for your attention. Nicole said that your ex-girlfriend looked like a goddess. I could never have ever competed with a woman like that.”

“You’re nothing like her, and that’s a good thing. You’re beautiful inside and out, and…” Even though he longed to say, “I can’t imagine being with anyone else but you,” he instead opted to say, “I’m glad we’re friends.”

Allie looked pensive. Nic wondered what she might be thinking. Finally, she said, “Do you ever think about us being more than that?”

Although the question had been running through his mind for some time, hearing it come from her mouth still caught him by surprise. After a moment or two of agonizing indecision, he decided to be forthright and tell her the truth. “Yes, all the time.”

“And when were you planning on letting me in on your little secret?”

“I was waiting for the right time,” Nic replied. “I guess I was afraid it might scare you away if I did and you didn’t feel the same way about me.”

She teased, “We’ve only been sleeping together for the past week.”

“Allie, there’s sleeping together, and then there’s sleeping together,” he said with a smirk. “Cuddling and treating me like a human security blanket doesn’t count.”

“Ouch,” Allie exclaimed with mock offense. “I’m hurt. I never once thought of what we’ve been doing in that way. I thought you knew me better.”

Nic snorted. “You needed me. I was there for you. That’s what friends do.”

Allie furrowed her brow. “Do you think we should try?”

“I’d like to,” Nic replied slowly.

“So would I,” Allie said without hesitation and gave his hand a squeeze.

Just then, Aunt Lara popped her head through the screen door and asked, “Are you kids ready to go yet?”

Allie smile as she nudged Nic in the ribs and said, “Yeah, let’s go home.”

 Later that day, Nic approached the front door of the apartment with almost giddy anticipation. He’d gone out and picked up a pizza and bought a dozen red roses at a nearby convenience store for Allie after her aunt had dropped them off. He fumbled and dropped his keys on the ground before inserting it in the lock and opening the door. He called out to her and put the flowers and pizza on the kitchen table. When she didn’t answer, he walked over to her room and peeked inside. She wasn’t there. He pulled his cell phone out, which he had set to silent mode while at the Welch’s residence, and checked for messages. Nothing. Where did she go? he wondered as he stepped into his room. He dropped his wallet and keys on his desk and then decided to take a shower.

He undressed, leaving his clothes on the bed, and headed toward the bathroom. He turned on the faucet and stepped into the shower. As the water cascaded down his face, he thought of her and became aroused. He immediately lowered the temperature of the water and lathered up.  After rinsing off, he happened to glance at the fogged-up mirror as he was getting out. He moved toward it and rubbed away some of the condensation with his hands. Feelings of anger and resentment quickly welled up inside him as his eyes traveled from his bald head and mangled ear to the rough and discolored skin on his right arm and chest. The flinched at the idea of Allie touching those parts of his body. He hung his head and walked away.

He had just put on a clean pair of jeans and a blood red polo shirt when he heard the front door open. He slipped a foil packet in his jeans pocket along with his cell phone and went out to the living room. He caught Allie smelling the flowers he’d bought for her. He smiled and said, “Do you like them?”

Allie nodded. “They smell heavenly.”

Nic came up behind Allie and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned against him and sighed contentedly. His body stilled as she turned to face him. She placed her hands on the sides of his face and gave him a kiss. Once their lips had parted, he asked, “Where did you go?”

“I went to the park across the street. I was feeling kind of restless after you left so I decided to go out for a bit and stretch my legs. I ran into an elderly couple whose dog sometimes played with Charlie. We had a nice chat. They told me that he’d be missed.”

He rested his forehead against hers. “Are you sure you want to do this with me?”

“Are you having second thoughts?” she replied.

“No, no. It’s just that—”  

Allie placed a finger on his lips and said, “Don’t ruin the moment. Just go with it.”

Nic’s eyes widened in amusement. What should he do next? He wanted her…now. But a voice inside him urged restraint. Take it slow. Don’t rush.

She sniffed the air and said, “I could smell the pizza the minute I walked in. Are you hungry?”

“It’s only five o’clock, but we can eat if you want to.”

“It is kind of early. So, is there something else that you’d like to do instead?”

Nic suddenly felt tongue-tied. “Well uh…we could…umm…”

Allie giggled as she nuzzled his neck and said, “Come with me.”

Nic willingly followed, besotted as she led him to her room. When they reached her doorway, he stopped and watched with bated breath as she moved toward the bed and undressed. She was slender with long, shapely legs and creamy white skin.  His mind went blank with desire as she pulled the scrunchy from her hair and beckoned him to come closer.

Was this really happening? She slid under the covers ahead of him. He fumbled with his clothes and then threw them aside as he climbed in after her. But the moment her hand touched his bare and partially mottled chest, he recoiled as if stung by a bee.

“What’s wrong?” Allie asked, taken aback.

“I’m sorry,” Nic replied. “It’s been almost two years since I’ve been intimate with someone and…and no one besides that doctors and nurses that treated me have ever touched the parts of me that burned. My skin is discolored, uneven and rough there. I’m glad you can’t see it.”

Allie replied, “I love you, Nic. Every part of you. The good and the bad. Inside and out. You got that?”

Nic felt his heart swell with love as the import of her words sank in. She loved him, scars and all, without condition or reservation. What more could he ask for? Nothing. She was everything he could have ever wished for and wanted in a partner, and more. With trembling hands, he reached out and stroked her cheek. He told her he loved her too and pulled her close as he asked, “Do you believe in fate?”

“I guess,” Allie said, looking slightly puzzled by the question. “Why do you ask?”

“Because there’s a part of me that thinks that my meeting you might not have been an accident. Maybe God felt sorry for me and thought that you were the one person that could help me move on with my life and live again.”

Allie smiled. “Have I done that?”

Nic placed the tips of his fingers on her chin as he leaned in and kissed her. “Yes, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here with you.”

After weeks of indecision and uncertainty, they were now on the verge of making the leap from friends to lovers. He shifted her onto her back before rolling his body atop hers. He was determined to make love to her slowly, completely. He wanted to make sure that it would be a night that neither one of them would ever forget.

He explored her body with his lips and hands for some time before reaching for the foil packet he’d placed on the nightstand. After making his way into her, he reveled in the pleasured sounds she made as their bodies quickly found their rhythm.  For him, it was so much more than a physical act. It was a means to express the depth and breadth of his feelings for her in a way that mere words could never have adequately conveyed. Each kiss and caress came with a promise that this was only the beginning and that he would be hers, body and soul, for as long she would have him. And when she cried out again and again as her body clinched around him, he quickly added his voice to hers while reaching his own earth-shattering release.

Afterward, their bodies remained entwined long after the heat of passion had cooled down to a low simmer. Allie drifted off to sleep. Nic, however, remained wide awake as he stared at the ceiling and considered his options. He wanted her in his life for the foreseeable future. Of that much he was certain. But whether she would be willing to uproot herself for his sake and live in a country where she knew no one and didn’t speak the language was very much an open question. The more he thought about it, the more complicated and fraught with roadblocks the path to achieving his goal of having her in his life long-term became.

Another issue that occupied his mind was his desire to help her find a way to pay for the retinal implant surgery she needed in order to see again. Unfortunately, he quickly surmised that the biggest obstacle in that regard was going to be Allie herself and her insistence that she pay for the procedure herself. After mulling things over, he formulated a plan and then pushed back the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He picked his pants up off the floor and took his cell phone out of a back pocket. He tapped on the text message app, typed in his father’s telephone number and sent him a text asking him for his advice and assistance in liquidating his assets. He then slid back into bed beside Allie and wrapped his arms around her once more. She purred like a contented cat as she curled her body around him and rested her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head and brushed her cheek with his finger.

I will find a way to help you see again, whether you want me to or not. You don’t have to carry this burden alone. It’s my problem too. But don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything.

How to budget: A pain-free guide to building a budget that works

“A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.” — John C. Maxwell

I've had more one-on-one money coaching meetings during the past year than my previous twelve years writing about money combined. I used to claim that I'd never do money coaching. Apparently, I was wrong.

As I meet with folks, certain common themes stand out.

For one, most folks have no idea how much they're actually earning and spending. Their finances are like a black box. They get paid, put the money in the bank, then spend it until it's gone. Almost nobody actively tracks what they earn and spend. “Do I have money in my checking account? I can buy something!”

Because people don't track what they spend, it's tough for them to plan what they spend. Frequently, I suggest that the people I meet with make a budget. Because budgets have been demonized for so long, there's a lot of resistance to this idea. That's too bad. Budgets don't have to be a bother. When used correctly, they're an excellent way to take control of your money.

If you pick a budget that fits the way you live, it can help you meet your goals more quickly. The key? Don’t think of a budget as a constraint. Real Life is a constraint; a budget helps you break free so that you can spend on what’s important to you, on the things that bring you joy.

Why Budgets Fail

A lot of people get frustrated with budgeting because it never seems to work. They never reach their spending targets. Or emergencies break the budget. Or it seems like so much work for so little reward. I hear you. I've been there. But if you follow a few rules (or maybe “guidelines”, if you prefer), budgeting can be less stressful and more useful.

Based on my own experience — and based on comments of GRS readers like you — I believe there are a handful of reasons most budgets fail. You may encounter trouble with your budget if:

It's too complicated. People have a tendency to make budgets more complex than they need to be. A simple budget is usually more useful.

It doesn't reflect your values. A budget should help you achieve your goals, so make it personal. If you try to use somebody else's budget, you're going to have a tough time.

It doesn't reflect reality. When you build a budget, base it on your actual income and behavior — not on some imaginary ideal you.

It seems like a chore. Don't let your system bog you down. Your goal is to have a budget that works, so keep looking until you find one that works for you.

To summarize: To minimize the risk of failure, a budget should be simple and easy to use while reflecting both current realities and your future goals.

That's all rather esoteric, though. What does a simple, easy budget look like? There are a lot of approaches that work. While some people do manage to make detailed budgets work, I've found that “budget frameworks” are more effective for me and the people I coach.

Today, we're going to take a deep dive into the world of budgeting. Based on my thirteen years of reading and writing about money, here are my thoughts on how to budget effectively.

How to Build a Budget

A lot of times when a person decides to get their financial house in order, the struggle to figure out how to build a budget that works. It's common to build an elaborate budget that confuses even the person who created it. Successful budgets are usually simple.

In The Only Investment Guide You'll Ever Need, Andrew Tobias offers the following simple yet effective budget:

Destroy all your credit cards.

Invest 20% of all that you earn. Never touch it.

Live on the remaining 80%, no matter what.

Although Tobias is being glib, this is actually an excellent system. If you can develop the discipline to follow just these three steps, you can become rich.

That said, this budget framework is too loose for most people. (I mean, come on, it only has two categories: saving and everything else.)

The 60% Solution

A decade ago at MSN Money, editor-in-chief Richard Jenkins proposed a budget that he dubbed the 60% Solution. (That link leads to a Web Archive summary of his framework. The original is article is no longer available because MSN thinks it's smart to throw away awesome old content.)

After twenty years of budgeting, Jenkins decided that a detailed budget was too much work for too little information. He developed a simpler framework. With this framework, his goal was to keep Committed Expenses manageable. (Jenkins says that Committed Expenses are Wants or Needs that you can't or won't compromise on. You're committed to them.)

The 60% Solution suggests allocating your monthly gross (pre-tax) income like this:

60% to Committed Expenses such as taxes, clothing, basic living expenses, insurance, charity (including tithing), and regular bills (including things like your cell phone).

10% to Retirement.

10% to Irregular Expenses such as vacations, major repair bills, new appliances, etc.

10% to Long-Term Savings/Debt — money set aside for car purchases, home renovations, or to pay down substantial debt loads.

10% for Fun Money to be used for dining out, hobbies, indulgences, etc.

Jenkins believes that the best way to relieve money pressure is to reduce Committed Expenses. When your Committed Expenses rise, so does your stress level. If you can keep these costs under 60% of your income, you'll have more money to spend on other things — like retirement tomorrow or fun stuff today.

The 60% Solution looks simplistic but it's powerful. In fact, I Will Teach You to Be Rich author Ramit Sethi (who famously hates budgets) uses this as the basis for his “Conscious Spending Plan” (which, sorry Ramit, is just a budget). If Ramit likes a budget, you know it's good.

The Balanced Money Formula

My favorite budget framework — the one I teach in workshops and encourage friends to use — is the Balanced Money Formula from All Your Worth: The Ultimate Lifetime Money Plan by Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Tyagi. (Yes, that Elizabeth Warren. I'm endorsing her budget framework, not her Presidential bid.)

The Balanced Money Formula (which sometimes gets billed as the “50/30/20 budget” by bloggers too lazy to do research) is meant to help people save and pay off debt while simultaneously leaving room for financial electives like going out to dinner and cable television.

Warren and Tyagi argue that in order to succeed financially, you must keep three broad areas of your finances “in balance”. They divide your net (after-tax) income as follows:

Allocate no more than 50% to Needs (which the authors call Must-Haves). Needs include housing, transportation, groceries, insurance, and clothes you really need.

Set aside at least 20% for Savings, which includes both debt repayment and retirement contributions.

Spend the remaining (roughly) 30% on Wants. Wants include cable television, clothing beyond the basics, restaurant meals, concert tickets, comic books, knitting supplies, etc.

Warren and Tyagi insist that to maintain financial balance and to be happy, you cannot spend more than 50% of your income on Needs. (Spending less is even better.) From Warren's experience with bankruptcy law, she's seen that too many Americans dig a deep hole for themselves by taking on huge mortgages and car loans. If you want to keep a balanced budget (and eventually build a wealth snowball), it's vital that you spend less on the Big Stuff — especially housing.

Note that the Balanced Money Formula considers debt reduction to be a part of Saving. I like this. I like it so much, in fact, that it's now part of my personal “financial platform”.

Note: One shortcoming to all three of these budget frameworks is that they target twenty percent (at most) for debt reduction and saving. Twenty percent is great. It's more than financial advisers generally recommend, and far more than most people save. But I consider twenty percent a starting point, not an end point. Ultimately, I think most folks are best-served by aiming to save half of their income.

Automating Your Budget

Budget frameworks let you wrap your head around the Big Picture, but the framework by itself isn't very helpful. To build a budget that works, you need a system. You need a way to work with framework.

I have clear memories of my parents trying (and failing) to budget in the 1970s. Mom and Dad would get frustrated with how broke they were, so they'd sit down at the kitchen table to make a plan. After much heated debate, they'd draw up a budget in a spiral notebook. Over the next few weeks, Mom would track their spending and compare it to their projections.

The budgets never worked. It took too much effort. (There were other relationship reasons the budgets failed, but sheer labor involved played a major role.) After a couple of weeks of frustration, Mom and Dad would give up. No wonder they were always broke.

Nowadays, things are easier.

If other bloggers are too be believed, many folks use Personal Capital to track their spending. While expense tracking isn't the same as budgeting, it's absolutely part of the process. If you don't track how much you spend, there's no way to know if you're sticking to your budget.

From chatting with Get Rich Slowly readers, I suspect that You Need a Budget (YNAB) is a better choice than Personal Capital when it comes to automating your budget. This shouldn't be surprising, I guess. After all, YNAB is a tool specifically designed for budgeting! (Here's my review of the YNAB software.)

Apps like these do have downsides. Personal Capital is a great free tool, but it's also designed as a lead generator for a wealth-management firm. They're hoping that if you use their software, you'll eventually become a client. YNAB has no nefarious motives — in fact, the company is awesome — but the tool comes with a small monthly fee. For most folks who need to budget, however, this fee is worth it.

Still, you have other options. It's possible, for instance, to buy stand-alone desktop software that lets you both budget and track your expenses. It's no secret that I manage my money with a copy of Quicken 2007. (I'll eventually move to a new version of Quicken. For now, the old version works just fine.)

My buddy Jim at Wallet Hacks is a proponent of building personalized budget spreadsheets. In fact, he recently wrote that budgeting with spreadsheets beats automated tools every time. But Jim is a ginormous nerd who loves noodling with numbers. If you're less of a nerd, Personal Capital and/or YNAB might be a better fit.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter which tool you choose. There's no single right answer. Try several and figure out which works best for you and your budget. What matters most is that it's something you'll use, and that it's something that will help you reach your goals.

Envelope Budgeting

Automated budgeting tools are great for most people. Some, however, might need to take a different approach.

When I met with my friends Wally and Jodie recently, I got a sense that while they're making progress with their debt, they're still struggling with organization. I think part of the problem is that their budget is abstract. It's not a real, tangible thing but something that exists only on paper or in their heads.

“Have you heard of envelope budgeting?” I asked.

“No,” Wally said. “What's that?” I gave a brief explanation.

The envelope budgeting system is a simple method that you can use with any sort of budget to help you manage your spending. You can use it with the 60% Solution, with the Balanced Money Formula, or for more complex budget systems.

The basic idea is this: When you get paid, you divide cash into various envelopes designated for specific budget categories. Here's how it works:

Choose budget categories. Use one envelope for each category you plan to track. Write the category's name on each envelope. Wally and Jodie, for instance, might have an envelope for their upcoming wedding, an envelope for travel, an envelope for groceries, and envelope for utilities, and so on.

Set money aside. After your paycheck gets deposited, withdraw cash for each budgeted category. If Wally and Jodie have budgeted $200 for two weeks of groceries, they'd put $200 in their grocery envelope and note this amount on the back.

Spend normally. Throughout the month, take cash from the appropriate envelopes as you make purchases. When you take money out of an envelope, note the amount on the back. Also note how much remains in the envelope. After you buy something, put the receipt and change back in the envelope.

When an envelope is empty, you're done. If you run out of money in an envelope, you have two options. Hardcore budgeters argue that if your “Dining Out” envelope is empty, you need to suck it up until your next paycheck. Once you've spent your restaurant budget, that's it. Others say that it's okay to take from one envelope to fund another. Which route is right for you is a personal call. But please, don't resort to credit to compensate for an empty envelope.

Decide what to do with surplus cash. At the end of the pay period, you're likely to have money left in certain envelopes. You should have a system to handle this. Maybe you want to leave the surplus there, effectively giving you a larger budget in the next pay period. (If you have $87 left in your grocery envelope and add $200 more, then you have $287 for the next pay period!) A smarter move might be to take the surplus cash at the end of a pay period and put it toward a long-term goal. (Wally and Jodie could take extra grocery money, for example, and put it in their wedding envelope.)

Do it again. Repeat this process each pay period. If you discover that you consistently have a deficit (or surplus) in certain categories, make adjustments.

Here's a terrific step-by-step envelope budget tutorial from YouTube:

The beauty of envelope budgeting is that it's system agnostic. It doesn't care what kind of budget you use. You can use it for all of your budget categories or just a few. (I think most people would use it for variable expenses, not fixed expenses like mortgages and phone bills.) Plus, it's physical. The money is real and you're forced to actually handle it and experience the “pain of paying”.

I should note that some people want to use the envelope system but don't want to hassle with actual envelopes. For these folks, a budget spreadsheet is a good way to simulate the system. (Or, you might try to replicate it with the You Need a Budget software.)

In 2013 here at Get Rich Slowly, Kristin Wong shared her adventures in returning to the envelope system.

How to Build a Better Budget

That's a lot of information about budgeting, I know. It might be overwhelming. But before we wrap things up, I'd like to offer a few final tips. Let's start with what I consider the four cardinal rules of budgeting.

The first rule of budgeting: Don’t worry about perfection. A budget is a target. Your spending won’t be perfect the first month. Or the second. Or the third. If you can’t get your money into perfect balance, get as close as you can. Learn to make adjustments, and don’t give up.

The second rule of budgeting: The big stuff makes more difference than the small stuff. Yes, you should clip coupons and shop at thrift stores. But you can save thousands of dollars at once by being smart when you buy a house or a car. Decrease your major expenses — like housing and transportation — and you’ll have a lot more room in your budget for the fun stuff.

The third rule of budgeting: Make plans based on your real life, not how you wish life would be. Don’t budget for possible salary increases and ideal spending habits. If you spend money on coffee every day, make that part of your budget. If you haven’t received a raise at work, don’t count that in your income. Budget for reality, not wishful thinking.

The fourth rule of budgeting: Keep it simple. If using your budget is a chore, you’ll never follow through. Include only as much detail as you need. Find a way to track your spending that works the way you do.

Lastly, if you struggle with keeping a budget, it may be because you're trying to predict your spending in time chunks that are just too small. A 2008 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that people who made annual budgets were better able to predict their spending than those who made monthly budgets.

From the original press release:

[Researchers] found that, contrary to popular advice, people were more accurate when constructing an annual rather than a monthly budget, even when they were logging their expenses weekly.

“Consumers' default tendency is to underestimate their budgets, for both next month and next year frames,” write the authors. “However budgets for the next year are closer to recorded expenses because consumers feel less confident when estimating these budgets, and therefore, adjust them upward.”

One reason yearly budgets are more accurate is that consumers consider a greater number of expense categories when they construct them. If you construct your monthly budget in April, will you remember to include a category for Christmas gifts?

If you've followed my own spending adventures this year, you know I've encountered some of this. “Oops! I forgot I'd have a huge tax liability in April. Oh wow, I forgot that we booked a September 2019 vacation in April 2018. Now the balance is due.” And so on.

Yearly budgets aren't very useful, however, for planning your day-to-day spending. The obvious solution is to take the best of both worlds:

Since people generally do a better job of estimating yearly expenses rather than monthly expenses, create an annual budget.

Once you've arrived at your annual budget, divide your estimated expenses in each category by twelve. This will give you a monthly number to work with.

The results of this study reiterate that over-confidence is an enormous drag on the average person's finances. We believe we're immune to advertising, that we can handle credit responsibly, that we can pick winning stocks. Yet study after study demonstrates that this just is not the case. In fact, those who lack confidence often make the best financial decisions.

This is also true with budgeting. In this study, subjects who were told that budgeting was difficult made more accurate estimates regarding their expenses than those who were told that budgeting was easy.

Budgeting Sets You Free

For many folks, “budget” is a four-letter word. Not for money bosses. A money boss views a budget as a useful tool with which she can help build the life she wants. At the same time, she knows that a budget isn't fixed in stone. It's always a work in progress.

When you use a budget, even one as simple as the Balanced Money Formula, you need to make constant adjustments. But once you get the most important expenses figured out (your Committed Expenses or Needs), you usually don’t have to worry about them much. Your housing payment doesn't fluctuate from month to month, for instance. Your insurance premiums stay pretty constant. The same is true for your Savings. Once you get used to saving a certain amount, that becomes a habit.

Your goal, then, is to trim your Needs and boost your Savings until they're both at respectable, sustainable levels. If you can keep these two broad categories where they should be, you can spend everything else on Wants.

Spending on fun stuff is less stressful when you know you can afford it. Budgeting isn't a straitjacket. Budgeting sets you free.

Want more help building a budget? Try these tools:

Here's a free and simple Google Sheets budget planner from GRS reader Jeff M. (And here's the article where he explains how to use it.) Jeff also shared a Microsoft Excel version of his budget planner.

The new Get Rich Slowly file vault contains two free PDF downloads that might be useful: my handout on building a better budget and a Balanced Money Formula worksheet.

Wallet Hacks has collated a collection of budgeting spreadsheets, some of which are specialized.

The folks at You Need a Budget have a variety of awesome tools. There's the software itself (my review), there's the book (my review), and there's the YouTube channel. If you want to learn how to budget, YNAB is a great resource.

Remember: If one budget doesn’t work, try another. Don’t just blindly use a budget from somebody else — even Dave Ramsey or Suze Orman. Use their ideas as a starting point, but tailor them so that your budget fits your life.

That's what I did, and it worked.

Note: This is a substantial re-write of an article originally published 02 May 2011. In fact, I'd go so far as to call it a new article. I've moved forward many of the comments on the old article and, as usual, have placed a marker so you can tell where old comments end and new comments begin.

The post How to budget: A pain-free guide to building a budget that works appeared first on Get Rich Slowly.

from Finance https://www.getrichslowly.org/how-to-budget/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

SUMMER

Okay, I haven’t posted anything in a hella long time, so brace yourself because a long text is incoming. 

Since the visit to the doctor I had pretty much started listening to her advice, not going to Krav Maga and doing the back exercises every night (mostly while watching a TV show so I wouldn’t get bored (the exercises are  pretty repetitive and easy). This definitely made me think a lot about how different different sports activities are and one thing I must say I realized, though I do not know what I will do with that realization, is that sports that are competitive seem to be much funner to play than sports that aren’t competitive.... one thing that I knew from before (there was a phase in my life when my mom was trying to get me going to the gym a couple of times a week because she goes and apparently it makes her feel awesome) is that going to the gym and doing strength exercises and cardio is the most boring thing there is when it comes to sports.  Exam week went pretty well, though I must say I was pretty disappointed with my Chemistry grade (7,4), I guess I’ll try to improve it but I honestly don’t know how because I thought it had went really well after the exam. I guess it might just be my way of writing that doesn’t really match the style in the answers, meaning that I should probably be more exact. I’ve always struggled with things like this, written answers never were my cup of tea. Calculations were what I was good at, and in my last school Chemistry was mostly about the calculations and very little written answers so this is quite a change for me. In the meantime we also went on our Group 4 Project, which was way  more fun than I had expected it to be. We had quite a few struggles with our project but in the end it turned out awesome thanks to our Physics teacher. The nature there was beautiful and we went out for some walks in it. 

After that all we went to our graduation trip (’maturalac’). We went to Italy (which I will visit 3 times this year, exciting right?). I enjoyed the experience a lot although the class not being a whole could always be felt. I don’t feel as if everyone likes each other but it seems like they don’t even give each other fair shots, if they were to do that I think most people would be in very good relations. These are just my thoughts though, I guess it’s none of my business how some people choose to  act, it’ll only hurt them.  During the class trip what we did most was walking, walking, and walking. Everyone’s legs hurt a lot and the temperatures weren’t ideal either. All days except the last two, it was over 30 degrees. 

At this point I was feeling very happy to come back home and see my friends and family. Seeing that I only had 10 days at home before going to a foreign country for almost a month, my grandma decided that it would be a good idea to teach me how to cook some meals so I can showcase the food of my country when I’m abroad. So that’s what I did almost everyday that I was at home, she would teach me how to make some meal she was making and I would try to help her and write down the recipe. It was actually amazingly fun and interesting and I got to spend a lot of the time with my grandma, with whom I usually don’t hang out much with although she’s one of the most intelligent and reasonable people I know. In that time she taught me how to make burek, sungatu, pastel, musaka and some other less significant meals, while my other grandma (with whom I enjoy spending time with less) taught me how to make my dad’s original recipe for this amazing meat pasta sauce. I guess the name of the sauce is Pećin umak, but I’m not quite sure about that.

During those 10 days at home, I also made sure I wrote at least one summer assignment for school, as I would be away for almost a month not doing anything. I chose that assignment to be the Croatian written assignment (I was looking forward to writing that one the most because it didn’t involve as much referencing and citing as the other ones due to lack of research needed). Everything concerning it is now finished except the conclusion which I am struggling with a bit, because to come closer to the word limit it would have to be another 50 words long... I’m thinking of just handing it in like it is and seeing what the teacher tells me, but at this point I am proud of what I wrote and satisfied with it.

After this quality time spent at home, it was time for me to embark on what was to be the most exciting journey of my life up to this point.  The trip I am talking about is one that we have been planning for quite some time, and by we I mean my mom, my boyfriend, and his dad. The travelling itinerary at the beginning was Portugal(3w+)-Italy(1w)-Croatia(2w)-Bosnia(2d)-Serbia(2d). My mom would go with me and stay 1 week in Portugal to make sure everything was going correctly and to talk to my boyfriend’s dad. With time the travel plans were changed to be what they are today due to some complications, this is what they ended up looking like Portugal(3w)-Spain(3d)-Italy(9d)-Croatia(15d)-Bosnia(2d)-Serbia(1d). The cities visited in the time up until now (listed chronologically): Faro, Quarteira, Almancil, Loule, Lisbon, Madrid, Lainate, Milan, Verona, Venice, Zagreb. The rest of the plan is to visit Rovinj, Pula, Vinkovci, Varaždin, Osijek, Sarajevo, maybe Tuzla, and either Belgrade or Novi Sad (Novi Sad is more likely because I’m running low on cash).  When it came to planning these things (planning is honestly what exhausted me most, but I have learned some valuable lessons for the future) and me meeting his family and friends and my mom also interacting with his family, a lot of cultural differences could be noticed, which is what I found really interesting. I never really found myself bound to Croatian culture and I thought I could adapt pretty well most places I went to, but here I was just 2400 km away from my hometown, and I was having trouble kissing every single person I meet on the cheeks all the time. Some cultural differences I had no trouble with, they only eat sweets in the breakfast (mostly cakes and different kind of pastry) and that was incredibly easy to adapt to. Another difference I had a lot of trouble with, possibly the most, is how slow they were in doing things, which sometimes drove me mad. 

We went to an Arctic Monkeys, Snow Patrol, and Nine Inch Nails concert while in Portugal, attending their NOS Alive festival. That meant a lot of dancing and singing. It could be said that I had a bit of a bad reaction during the concert once, which I am still feeling a bit bad about because I usually do not react like that... During the concert, there was a lady singing every song really really loudly next to me (so loudly I couldn’t hear anything else), and she wasn’t singing it nicely, it sounded like she was being murdered while singing it or something. So I screamed at her that no one paid to come listen to her, we paid to listen to the singer. She apologized and stopped but made a sad face and said she hadn’t known she was being that loud. I honestly don’t know how I ended up doing that and I feel very bad about it.

During the time there the CAS activities would I guess be: walking (a lot!), swimming (it’s Portugal, right?), playing chess (it technically counts as a sport), cooking (I did cook for them, even meals my grandma did not prepare me for), and organizing trips (the worst out of them all).  Here you can find a picture of my failed burek (I was missing some ingredients ok... also I do not cook that well, but would like to improve because I eat very well):

I had some free time there too, but I just couldn’t bring myself to doing more of the school assignments and I will be doing them in the upcoming month, but mostly when my boyfriend leaves for Portugal again likely somewhere on the 18th-21st of August. 

In Madrid we walked a lot and visited 3 art galleries (2 awesome ones and one really lame one). The first night we ended up staying in a luxurious hotel (nothing else was available due to late booking and he didn’t want us to do couch surfing) but later we kinda got ourselves a place in a bad neighbourhood because it was cheap, which turned out to be really cool because it wasn’t as bad as any internet sites told us and was very peaceful except the constant drug offering (we didn’t accept the drugs, of course). 

In Italy we did a humongous amount of walking too, though my step counter didn’t really count the steps correctly because my phone was off a lot of the time. Except that we just played more chess and watched the Friends, along with the mandatory cooking. 

Now it’ll be pretty chill, more swimming, more walking, more chess, and more cooking, but now in Croatia, where we get to spend less money. Also, we get to play my favourite board game. It’s called Duel and it’s a strategic game for two and I adore it! I actually feel like my brain has been working better in the summer than during school because usually I can never beat Joao at chess and lately I’ve been beating him a lot (him at chess, but also other people at Duel with whom I am usually equal to). I also asked my best friend if he would like to go running together after my boyfriend leaves, and he said yes but not every day... so I guess I’m going running, though I will likely not be able to keep up with him when starting out. I honestly doubt I will continue running when I come back to Varaždin because I don’t like doing those things alone and I don’t want to ask anyone either. 

Phew..... so that’s about it about the last 3 months. 

Elvis Andrus, Rangers lifer? Why current market means he likely stays in Arlington, for now.

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Elvis Andrus, Rangers lifer? Why current market means he likely stays in Arlington, for now.

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Texas Rangers shortstop Elvis Andrus (1) waves to fans during the seventh inning in a Major League Baseball game between the Detroit Tigers and the Texas Rangers at Globe Life Park in Arlington, Texas Tuesday May 8, 2018. Andrus is currently on the 60-day disabled list. (Andy Jacobsohn/The Dallas Morning News)

By Evan Grant , Staff Writer Contact Evan Grant on Twitter: @Evan_P_Grant

The latest installment of #EvanHelpUs…

#EvanHelpUs With his 1.7 dWAR and his +12 defensive runs saved, does Delino have a shot at a Gold Glove this year?

— Chris McDonald (@ChrisMcDIII) June 29, 2018

Me: Funny you should ask that. Because I wrote about DeShields’ defensive excellence just this week. There are some tremendous center fielders in the AL, but the defending champ, Byron Buxton, has played only 28 games and was just recently sent down to the minors, so I think the race is wide open. Leonys Martin and DeShields have graded out as the best so far on the defensive analytics scale. Kevin Kiermaier is also an outstanding defender with two Gold Gloves of his own, but he’s just now coming back after missing two months. And someday, Mike Trout is going to win a Gold Glove, too.

I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a center fielder right now who goes and gets the ball better than DeShields does. His reads and routes have really improved and his closing speed has always been fantastic. If he keeps this up and does not end up among the finalists, it’s going to be an indictment on his arm, which is not great, but he’s improved there, too. He gets to the ball quickly and has quickened his release.

Rawlings has also made it a little more difficult to win a Gold Glove for outfielders because the vote is now according to position. Used to be three outfielders, regardless of position, won. Now, there is voting done on each specific outfield spot. So only three center fielders will be considered. I’ve got enough confidence in DeShields’ ability and continuing improvement that I wagered a meal with a friend of mine that he at least shows up on the list of finalists.

Elvis can opt out after this season. Does he test FA or stick with the rebuild in hopes of a winning season in 2020 when we get the new stadium? #EvanHelpUs

— Stephanie Harper (@monkeysmom4) June 28, 2018

Me: It’s going to be a tough decision for Elvis. He’s become a top-tier shortstop, but the thing is, the top tier is really, really deep and good and there aren’t a bunch of free agents there. Manny Machado is going to command a huge payday on the open market as a free agent and I’m not even sure what contender is really going to need him.

Look around the AL: Bogaerts (Boston), Gregorius (Yankees), Lindor (Cleveland), Correa (Houston), Simmons (LA Angels), Segura (Seattle). That’s deep, man. In the NL, there might be a little more demand, but I don’t think it will come from the Dodgers. I don’t think it will come from the Cubs.

Teams that are motivated to add a difference-maker are either going to go after Machado and possibly ask him to move back to third, or go after Bryce Harper. My point: It’s not an ideal time for a 30-year-old who missed two months with an elbow issue to go on the free agent market as a shortstop. I think Elvis remains a Ranger. I really feel like this is a guy who is going to play his entire career in Texas. I think the Rangers may act preemptively and renegotiate the contract, maybe add a year, but, in the end, I don’t think Andrus fully tests free agency. I know that with Scott Boras as his agent that would seem to work against the odds, but I think Elvis is in a different situation and I think he wants to remain in Texas.

Do players get to pick which snippet of their walk up music is played, or is it always just the first few seconds of the song, or does someone else make that decision? #EvanHelpUs

— harmonicpies (@harmonicpies) June 28, 2018

Me: Players pick their walk-up music. Every year, Chuck Morgan asks players to submit songs they would like him to sample from. Sometimes, he gets multiple answers from the same player. Sometimes he doesn’t get an answer at all and he goes with something generic or something the player may have used in past seasons.

#EvanHelpUs I’m a Rangers fan now in DC. 1) are you making trip to ASG? 2) do you have a favorite BBQ place in DC? I know Rangers don’t play Nationals often but I’ve seen you comment about loving the park here.

— Ned Johnson (@thenedajohnson) June 28, 2018

Me: Gerry Fraley usually takes our All-Star trips. The past few years since I’ve had a family, we have usually taken the All-Star break as a much-needed summer vacation. I can’t tell you as a pseudo dad, how much more important that has been to me than the All-Star Game. Truth be told: I love watching the All-Star introductions and have since I was a kid. The game, well, it just doesn’t do much for me. So, to answer your question: No, I’m not going to the All-Star Game. Gerry does a great job.

As for BBQ in D.C., I’ve been to Hill Country a couple of times and it’s quite good. But, I’m very regionally biased. When I go to other cities, I want to eat the stuff that is done especially well there that I can’t get in Texas. Kansas City, Houston and the surprisingly good Southern California BBQ scene are the places I make exceptions on that.

D.C., New York, Chicago, Toronto and San Francisco are so ethnically diverse, I want to eat the incredible ethnic foods I struggle to find in Texas (Chinese, Italian, Thai and Jewish deli). Seattle, Boston, Tampa Bay and Baltimore are for crustaceans. Minnesota: Something with wild rice. Cleveland and Detroit? Well, I’m still kinda searching.

And, yeah, I love the park in D.C. Part of it is just being in D.C.; if the Nats were in the AL, it would be one of my favorite annual visits along with Seattle and Boston. Part used to be seeing the capitol from the press box (though it is getting more and more difficult with all the building). The biggest part is my cousins live in Northern Virginia and I get to see them — and they are baseball fans. So, that makes it super special.

#EvanHelpUs Do you recommend electric smokers for brisket? What brand of smoker do you recommend – any type?

— ⚾ Debbie Gill ⚾ (@Maelinde) July 2, 2018

Me: I believe in wood, fire and smoke. So, the electric smoker, no matter how convenient, to me, doesn’t qualify. Now, real pitmasters would probably laugh at the fact that I use a Big Green Egg, because it’s too easy. But it meats — er, meets — all the qualifications.

You get the feel of lighting a fire. You get real honest to goodness smoke. And it’s actually pretty easy to regulate because the ceramic cooking device holds the heat so well. What it does not have, though, is a very large cooking surface. One day, though, I hope to grow up and join the real smokers of the world and get a big ol’ smoker with lots of room on which to smoke and lots of area to heat. Hope I’m up for that challenge.

@Evan_P_Grant we’re making the trip up to Baltimore next month. Looking for must stop food places, good beer stops and best seating by location. Thanks for the help #EvanHelpUs

— Drew Clinkscales (@Dexter_sr2005) June 27, 2018

Me: For me, Baltimore is about two things: Brunch and crabs. Bonus points when they are mixed together, as they do so well at Miss Shirley’s Café, Blue Moon Café (be prepared for a LONG wait) and at Sip ‘n Bite (a true Baltimore diner).

I would suggest this to you on the crab front: Put the work in and get some steamed and spiced blue crab. There are other places where they do crab cakes just fine. Go for the blue crab feast. Try any of these spots: Nick’s Fish House, Costa’s or Bo Brooks. Understand also that the only thing in Maryland you are probably getting is the seasoning. True story: Most of the crab you will get during the summertime has come from … the Texas/Louisiana gulf coast. It doesn’t matter. It’s the preparation that rocks it.

If you can’t go that route and need crab cakes, the best I’ve ever had are at Faidley’s in Lexington Market. It’s a standup counter-serve, but the broiled crab cake is so much lump, lush back fin meat and some magical pixie dust that holds it all together. Literally, there is no filler. The other real deal: Koco’s Pub. Trust me on this one. It’s a bit off the beaten path, but that makes it all the more fun.

For beer, isn’t it all about Yuengling there?

As for things to do: Finally went to Fort McHenry last winter and it was well worth the trip. I’ve never been to the Babe Ruth Museum, but it is real close to Camden Yards. And the National Aquarium is outstanding.

And finally, I don’t have seating recommendations. It’s a great park. Just make sure you walk along the Eutaw Street promenade that runs behind the outfield. It’s awesome.

#EvanHelpUs Evan, what about IKF? Why no playing time? I know Profar is playing great and that’s awesome, and Odor seems to be digging himself out of the huge crater he was in, but man I love watching Isiah play.

— David Smith (@zigster01) July 1, 2018

Me: With Adrian Beltre somewhat limited and Jurickson Profar having worked his way into the regular rotation, the Rangers are trying to shoehorn six infielders into four spots and two DHs (Beltre/Shin-Soo Choo) into one. It’s a constant juggling act and one in which somebody is always going to be a little short-shifted.

I asked Jeff Banister twice in the past three days about playing time for Isiah Kiner-Falefa and I can tell you two things: First, the recent trimming of time has been a little intentional, Banister said. He wanted Kiner-Falefa to really be able to focus on playing catcher for his first few starts and not have to worry too much about also being a utility infielder. Second, the Rangers believe Kiner-Falefa has both earned his way onto the roster and that he has a special kind of aptitude for the game that allows him to learn simply by being here and doing the pre-game work. It’s not optimal, but I can see where he’d still get something productive out of it.

Here’s what Banister had to say:

“Being in a major league environment for him is still valuable. If it was a situation where all he would do is catch and be a once-every-three-day type of guy we would re-evaluate where he is going to be long term. If it gets to where he’s not playing enough you’ve got to look at something but we’re not there yet. And being an everyday player takes a toll on a young kid. … He will absorb everything he can not playing. We have some guys, especially on the infield side, can help.”

Me: I am proud to declare my love of the boat drink, preferably the frozen boat drink. And the songs that pay homage to them, especially “Escape” (The Piña Colada Song) and “Two Piña Coladas.” One exception: As much as I love Jimmy Buffett, I’d be OK if I don’t hear “Margaritaville.”

My idea of a perfect vacation is Caribbean turquoise blue water and a never-ending glacier of piña coladas that are eternally frozen. I’m not truly on vacation until the first brain freeze sets in.

Now, I will say this: The absolutely perfect boat drink comes apres boat if you get my drift. It comes after you have jumped off your boat and waded ashore to the Soggy Dollar Bar on Jost Van Dyke in the British Virgin Islands. Order a Painkiller (Pusser’s rum, pineapple juice, cream of coconut, orange juice and fresh nutmeg) and sit on the White Bay beach, and all your problems just melt away. The bar was devastated by Hurricane Irma last September, but has since been re-opened, I understand. It is worth every effort you have to make to get there.

@Evan_P_Grant #evanhelpus If and when we trade Beltre what are the chances of moving forward in the future with a combo of Profar, Odor, and Andrus as the 3B,2B,SS combo?

— JP (@Kozmo719) July 2, 2018

Me: I think the only possible version of this would be Odor at second, Profar at third and Andrus at shortstop. Profar has not shown me enough defensively at short to consider moving Andrus off the position.

I guess I’d answer you with a question. Is the perception not that Odor has had a horrible season and Profar a fairly good one? I think most would answer that in the affirmative. And, here it is on July 3, and Odor now has a higher batting average (.241) than Profar (.240) and has almost caught him in OBP (.316 vs. .324). Profar holds a distinct advantage in slugging (.434 to .361), but I’d bet that by the end of July their numbers are pretty close, too. Odor’s season has not been as bad as perceived; nor has Profar’s been as good. Odor remains a 30-homer threat; perhaps not this year, but long-term. I’m not sure you can say that about Profar.

If I was Rangers, I’d still be trying to deal Profar this summer to get some return on him. He can be a free agent after 2020, which is the earliest this team might have a chance to contend. I think he profiles too much like a utility guy, who might play regularly, but doesn’t have a regular position, at least not here. If the Rangers can’t convince Beltre to return for 2019 and they don’t get value for Profar, I’d be fine with him and Isiah Kiner-Falefa playing third next year, but I don’t think Jurickson is a great long-term fit there.

Rangers have about 700 innings remaining. Will they be able to have enough arms to get through the year without prematurely elevating young arms. #EvanHelpUs

— Jonathan Pike (@pikejo) June 28, 2018

Me: Because I’m an argumentative twit, I will debate this and say the more important number is about 450. That’s the approximate number of innings between July 1 and August 31. After that, when rosters can be expanded, it doesn’t really matter if a Yohander Mendez or an Ariel Jurado is not really ready for the majors; they are going to get a look anyway. The Rangers have to look at those guys. Mendez is out of options after this season, so it’s an imperative.

In the meantime, they should get Martin Perez back and he’ll give the rotation some innings. They may — may — get Doug Fister back at some point and he’ll be more rotation depth. But, yeah, it’s entirely possible you are looking at an August in which the Rangers are running some veterans out there who are running on fumes like Bartolo Colon and Yovani Gallardo to name a pair.

Here I’m going to take a hard, right turn and turn this into a Mike Minor question. The next question I have to ask about Minor must be about innings limits. With 85 innings, he’s now passed last year’s total (77). I would think the Rangers would not want to jump his innings more than 50-60 from last year in the 125-140 range. At best, that would give him about another 55 innings with which to work. Seems like they are going to have to start parsing up those innings. Perhaps they will let him make another 8-10 starts in July-August, then shut him down for September. But managing his innings and not overworking him would seem to become something of a priority. And that might put more stress on your point: How do they simply get through the season. My guess: You will see them claim some vets who get released over the next seven weeks.

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Source: https://sportsday.dallasnews.com/texas-rangers/rangers/2018/07/04/elvis-andrus-rangers-lifer-current-market-means-likely-stays-arlington-now

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