#so I just lost $10 on something that i cant even eat
Text
pretty when u beg
pairing: hyunjin x fem reader
🏷 smut (minors dni) teasing, oral (f rec), overstim, orgasm countdown, orgasm control, hard dom!hyunjin if u squint, spitting
⊹ ⋆ﾟ𓆩 ☆ ♱ ☆ 𓆪 ⋆ﾟ⊹
★ an: hiiii this is @hyunlixr 🫶🏼 i lost my blog so this is a repost dw!
deep breaths was all that could be heard, his lips trailing down from ur neck to your abdomen. leaving a trail of wet kisses on his way to your clothed cunt.
he kept teasing you tonight, you went out to celebrate your three months together and instead of being all romantic and lovey-dovey, he was whispering the dirtiest things into your ears. but to be honest, you weren’t complaining at all, that’s one of the many things you loved about him, how dirty he could get, even in the most innocent occasions.
— going to fuck you so good tonight, angel.
all you could do was blush and giggle it off.
so here he was kissing your clit through your black laced panties over and over again. it felt so good, yet it wasn’t enough, you needed more.
— jinnie, please
he leaned over to spit on your mouth. and you gladly opened and swallowed for him. something he usually did as a silent request for you to keep quiet and let him do what he pleases with you.
— shut the fuck up unless you wanna be edged tonight
you kept bucking your hips into his face, but to no avail cause he ended up pinning you to the mattress, with his slender, pretty fingers sprawled out on your stomach. the fingers you oh so wanted somewhere else.
as he was busy making out with your clothed cunt, kissing and sucking here and there. you were getting desperate to feel something, anything. you took his fingers into your own hands and guided them where you needed him the most.
— no , angel. i want you to cum on my mouth first.
you groaned when he finally took your panties of and kissed your inner thighs… slowly.
— fuck please, please, give me something.
and so he did, he kissed your now bare clit and started sucking on it like a desperate, starved man. the sounds he made while eating u out were like music to your ears.
he kept alternating between licks and flicks to your bud until you came, kissing your clit to ride out your high. just to get off the bed and look for your favorite vibrator. he put it on a medium speed and pressed it lightly over your clit making you moan a little too loud from the overstimulation.
— s’too much jinnie, no. stop it.
but he knew you didn’t want him to stop, if you did actually want that you would have used your safe word. he knew how fucking greedy you were. how no matter how many times he made you cum, if he wanted you to cum again then that’s what you’d do. you’d do anything to please him.
he pressed it harder and started dragging it along your folds only stopping once the toy was on your clit again. he loved seeing you fucked out, and how just by playing with the bundle of nerves he could get you to look like that; legs sprawled out and open for him, cunt red and glistening with your own juices and his spit. it was quite the sight if you asked him.
once you had relaxed and let him play with you for a couple of minutes, he used his index finger to put the toy on the highest setting. making the vibrations float around your whole body. making you shake.
he knew you were close, he already knew your body and how you reacted when you were about to hit ur orgasm, so without moving the toy away from you, he leaned down, sticking his tongue inside of u going in and out at a fast pace. making you close your legs around his head for that extra feeling.
— you cant cum until i say so.
he started his 10 second countdown he loved to do when he wanted you to beg and cry for him. he loved hearing how desperate you were. how pretty you looked with tears in your eyes.
“10… 9…”
— m’so close please let me
you could literally feel the tears in your eyes.
“8… 7… 6…”
— i don’t think i’ll last, please let me cum
“5… 4… 3…“
— please please please
“2…“
— fuck hyune
“1…”
— cum baby, make a mess for me, hm?
you came, you came so fucking hard letting him guide you through it. finishing it all of with a soft kiss on ur clit
— good job, angel. but we are not finished yet.
he said pouting, faking sympathy. and you were down bad for whatever this man had in store for you tonight.
#stray kids#skz#skz smut#skz hard hours#skz hard thoughts#skz scenarios#skz imagines#skz hyunjin#stray kids smut#stray kids hard hours#stray kids hard thoughts#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#hwang hyunjin smut#hyunjin smut#hyunjin hard hours#hyunjin hard thoughts#hyunjin scenarios#hyunjin imagines
706 notes
·
View notes
Note
just lost a friend because they cant be friends with a zionist and it hurt so much. i can not believe what you people are going through. i am so sorry and i hope the situation resolves soon
I was literally just thinking about this before i saw this ask but it’s so childish and annoying watching people get themselves worked up being like “I can’t believe so many people support genocide!!” and it’s like. yeah, because they don’t. they don’t support genocide. you’re changing the definition of words to be as vague and broad as possible on the internet, adding qualifiers that don’t even make sense, then getting upset that it covers so many people. when someone says “(((zionist)))” in a derogatory way, all I can think is okay how are YOU defining zionism, because it’s most likely not how zionism is actually defined. and sure enough, it isn’t 9/10 times.
it’ll be some nonsensical combination of traits and/or activities like “if you’re left handed, eat bubblegum ice cream on a tuesday, and genuinely enjoy the color yellow then you’re a zionist and like the taste of a palestinian child’s blood.” and then they’re like “omg I can’t believe so many left handed people eat bubblegum ice cream on a tuesday like fucking genocidal freaks! we have to do something about this!” and it’s not even a problem. because they’ll find someone left handed and say oh well you MUST eat bubblegum ice cream on a Tuesday then. genocidal!! find someone who eats bubblegum ice cream and say you HAVE to be left handed then. genocidal!!
like, just grow up already. you’re understandably mad about a horrible thing that’s happening and instead of doing something to help, you’re turning on as many people as possible to make yourself a victim in it, too, so you feel like other people will see your anger as justified. just be angry. use it to fuel you to do good things that will alleviate suffering. leave jews and random people you perceive as a threat ALONE. also if you need to make yourself feel like a victim in a horrible situation that doesn’t involve you just to feel like you should care about it enough to try and help, the problem lies with you.
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Giving in to gluttony : A fit to fat story (part 1)
We were both at the gym after work just like most days. This is where we first met. I saw you on the squat rack and was enamored by your beauty (and the perfect ass you had definitely helped). I approached you and we went on a date and had been dating since then. Though we both were fitness freaks (i still am) there's a part of me i haven't told you about. A part of me that would rather have you tied up in my bed sporting a fat belly so big it hangs to your knees. I've kept it in check for as long as i can, you had only gained 10 pounds in our 4 months together and a lot of that has been muscle definition since we started working out. Today however, it all changes. One faithful injury changes everything.
"This….freaking….sucks" I say grumpy as I sit next to you in the car. We just came back from the first aid room. I look at my leg and shake my head "no lifting, no cardio…and no rock climbing for 6 months?!" I cross my arms and sigh "That also means I really have to watch what I eat…else I end up like one of those fat girls at the gym" The other day we had been making jokes about a chubby girl that was struggling to do basic cardio
"god i know baby, its not fair at all. Not having you at the gym is going to make me lose all my motivation, not to mention who else will i make fun of the fatties with" i look to you after we both laugh to ourselves.."dont worry though babe. ill take good care of you, You know i've been making myself a better and better cook. Ill make sure your diet goes exactly according to plan.." i say as i keep my hand on your toned thigh, giving it a rub and feeling ecstatic and the though of having a home bound girlfriend for 6 whole months.
**2 weeks later**
"im so bored" I sigh before taking another cookie that you made me. "Im usually at the gym right now" Another cookie goes into my stomach. I dont seem to notice the little bit of pudge that was pressing on to my waistband when I sat down like this. You had noticed that I did a lot of "boredom eating"…and recently…I had also started snacking when I was stressed or feeling a little down.
"Im done babe!" i yell, having baked another batch of cookies. The last 2 weeks have been heavenly. Turns out when liz is left to her own devices with nothing else to do, she becomes rather peckish. Its nothing insane yet but she'll never say no to a little treat every now and then. With the absence of the gym and with me making sure to always make every meal of hers just a bit more heavy, she's managed to maintain her weight at 140 pounds albeit with a major bonus. If before she was toned and slightly muscular, now shes lost her definition and is even developing a little pudge. I see her belly pressing against her waistband as she snacks on one of the cookies i made her and see it press further and further against the band as she makes the tray of cookies magically disappear.
You always made sure to take the plates away or split it in multiple portions, so I had no idea how much I was actually eating in a day. after finishing the third tray of cookies that day you see I am rubbing my belly…I was getting full and I hadn't even eaten a meal! "My tummy is a bit upset" I say as I rub it. "better drink something" I grab the glass of soda that you had brought me. I drink all of it in one go. "I can't believe this is actually sugar free" I say surprised "it tastes like one of those cheap soda's that is super b-BRUUAUUAUAAAAAAAAAP-ad " I look wide eyed and cover my mouth with a blush "s-sorry!"
"Haha that was pretty cool!" i say immediately so as to not make you think i dislike it. I cant let you know that youve given me a hard on with that deep nasty belch, at least not yet. "I don't mind babe" i say as i nuzzle in right next to you on the bed. "in fact if anything it lets me know you really enjoyed whatever i made for you so no need to apologize." i say as i keep my hand on your bloated stuffed belly, giving it a good rub. "I guess you reallly loved those cookies huh, hehe"
"I-I do" I say blushing as you rub my belly…it felt good, but it also made me a bit aware of the fact that I was softer now. "I mean…its just not very lady like to burp like that right?" I smile as you roll your eyes at me "BRUUAAAAP…ooohhff but it does make my tummy feel better"
I moan to myself making sure you don't hear me. "I'm glad you like them" i reply, both to your answer and to that big burp you let out. We spend a few more minutes like this with me rubbing your rounded gut, making you get used to the feeling, making you love my hands on your tummy, making you know i like those un-lady like burps. Im slowly easing your mind into its new state. The state of pure gluttony. Before i get up from bed i decide to try one more thing, i grab your belly and give it a hard pinch and lean up next to your ear "You were a good girl today, keep eating like this and soon you'll be like those fatties at the gym". I whispered it and said it in a teasing tone, but i could tell by your breathing…it did its job.
My eyes go wide and my face goes dark red. Did he really just say that?…Is he making a joke?…why do I like him teasing and humiliating me?! I look down and my heart beats even faster, judging by the bulge in your pants…you really liked seeing me like this. "w-what?….a-are you trying to make me fat?" I ask in a soft voice. You just smile, gently kiss my belly before squeezing it again and leave with the empty plates…Am I really going to get fat?
#feedee belly#feedee encouragement#feeding kink#feedee piggy#stuffed feedee#girl burp#fat belly#belly expansion#fit to fat#force fed#manipulation#feedee girl#wg text#teasing#chubby#feederist#short story#feedee story
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
10 BL boys I want carnally <3
Thank you for tagging me to do this @blneobin <3 I'm a little behind on this but i FINALLY have time today to write it so here we go!
I've had so much fun reading all the one's I've seen thus far~
Keita Machida - Kurosawa (Cherry Magic Japan)
I absolutely ADORE this man. Attentive and kind and he's ssooo pretty. He is 5'11" (180cm), I want to climb him like a tree, thank you. I would do anything he asked. I have watched this show so many times in the last 6 months since i first watched it, its a little ridiculous. (eepy Kurosawa...oh how i adore him)
Khaotung Thanawat - Ray (Only Friends)
I love this man so much it hurts. I adore everything I've watched him in thus far but there is a /reason/ Ray is pictured in my about me on this blog. I related to Ray so much and his and Sand's scenes....oh wow...
I have so many edits and gifs saved in a folder on my computer of this man, I am unwell about it (someone should recreate their dancing in the parking garage scene with me...)
Nut Supanut - Solo/Way (Oxygen/PitBabe)
I adored Nut in Oxygen (is it a little stiff, yeah, but i still liked it) I am a sucker for puppy like characters like Solo and hes just so incredibly Handsome. And Way is just...oh my god. Nut is legit the one of two reasons I started watching PitBabe. (Obsessed with the fact that Way is still kinda Puppy coded. He can take his frustration out on me, I'd consent to that)
Jimmy - Peun/Mohk (Vice Versa/Last Twilight)
I enjoyed Vice Versa and Jimmy immediately caught my attention when I watched it. And now with watching Last Twilight, many of my friends know just how UNWELL I am about this man. Mohk is so kind and attentive and he's so so handsome I cannot handle it. I made so many people watch the clip of him getting angry with August. When he got super quite? Lost my mind. (Look at him...look at his arms, are you kidding me??)
Ja Phachara Suansri - Leo/Punn (Don't Say No/Be Mine SuperStar)
THIS MAN IS 6'2" (188cm) THAT'S NOT FAIR. HE'S SO TALL (i'm a little jealous...) Ja is so pretty and him just throwing around First in Don't Say No like he was nothing? I lost it. The scene in the pool in Be Mine SuperStar where Punn and Ashi are talking and then Punn stands up? I was UNWELL (Punn is also another Puppy coded character and I will forever be a sucker for it)
Perth - Ae/Kanghan (Love By Chance/Dangerous Romance)
When I tell you some weird things came out of my mouth when I was telling my friends about Perth, I wish I was kidding (@darkroseespeon can attest to that). He's so incredibly ridiculously handsome and his smile is absolutely infectious. He's another that I would do anything they asked. (cue to me just repeatedly saying "he's so pretty" as i was trying to find a gif...)
Nat Thewphaingam - Nawin (Laws of Attraction)
I was living with some roommate when I was watching Laws of Attraction and they had a good laugh watching me LOSE MY SHIT when this man came on screen. I was immediately obsessed with Nawin. The bgm, the bloody tank, and the brass knuckles? I was a gonner. Truly in love with his antics and i would give a lot to be under him. (do you see his arms? the lighting? just...HIS FACE?)
Ji Sub - Jae Won (The Eighth Sense)
OMG one, this show is so important to me. Two, Ji Sub is a meal I could eat every day. I don't even have much more to say than that. He's just so handsome and he had such sad eyes...
Jae Won, once they're finally boyfriends, is so sweet I just adore it so much. I love this man. (He was so cute in this scene I cant...)
Us Akkarachotsopon - Tay (Kinnprosche)
Tay is fully the embodiment of my never ending delima of do i want him or to i want to /be/ him???? His fashion sense is glorious and I will never be over it. The minute I start talking about it, its hard to get me to shut up. I would give ssoo much to take care of Tay and love him like he deserves. (Where the post that's like "i'll do anything for a boy with big brown eyes" or something like that. Also, this shirt?? I need it.)
Kiseki: Dear to Me
Am I cheating a little bit by talking about all four of them? Maybe. But I have made SO many people who are not into BLs watch this show FOR A REASON. I love it so much and I love all of them so dearly. AiDi and ChenYi's fashion? IMPECCABLE I'm obsessed and want to recreate some of their looks so bad. All their scene once they're finally together??? unbeatable to me. omfg. ZongYi and ZeRui's kitchen scene?? In shambles. SHAMBLES (I have a stuffed animal I named ZongYi cause he's so precious to me...and I want to get one to name AiDi)
Aaaahhh this...took me way longer to write than anticipated. Though part of that time was looking through endless amounts of gifs. to which, thank you to the gif makers, y'all make my day (haha xD)
I have no idea who hasn't done this yet, (@mb-bls idk if you have or would want to?) but if you see this and want to do it, tag me so I can read it!!!!
#aaaahhhh thank you again dear for taggging me!!!#this was soooo fun#Its a bit ironic that the first real post i make myself on this blog is this one lmao#very on brand for me imo#I just kept looking up and down my list of all the shows I've watched thus far and picking characters/people was suuuuch as struggle lmao#There's definitely a couple of patterns that are easy to pick up on when it comes to who i gravitate towards haha!#multi bl#mutuals my beloved#<3#ironnoises
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
So Ive watched Boom and initial thoughts
S14e03 "Boom" doctor who spoilers
-immediately knew these guys were dead.
-susan twist what are you doing in my ambulance
-killing someone because they'd take four weeks to recover is insane but also works great as the endpoint of capitalism
-casual reminder that I adore 15s theme. Its very different from other Doctor's themes but its lovely.
-skye boat song?!?! Two played that on his recorder back in the web of fear
-"One wrong move, and BOOM. I go all food mixer"
Great line, 10/10
-"everywhere is a beach eventually"
I hate that this made me think of Rose
-"Why, does a landmine have lights on it?" "*groans* capitalism" "Excuse me?" "Flashy lights play well in a showroom. Modern warfare. Death by salesmen"
This is just. Oxygen but instead of a space station its warfare. Jamie Mathieson basically wrote this already. But thats okay I will still eat it up
-lesbian gymkhana. Noice.
-"IiIm not even screaming yet"
THAT'S THE RIGHT ATTITUDE 🫵
-smelted :)
-"i was trying not to show off" well thats new cause you always show off
-"you are brave." "mm." "And you are wonderful. And I forgive you for being incredibly stupid"
Do you know what that reminded me off? The dead boy detectives staircase confession. Come on, you hear it too:
"Also, I cannot BeLIEve you would risk your entire existence coming down to this operatic horror show for me. That is so FUCKING stupid its unbelievable" "Sorry. No version of this where I didnt come get you, is there"
-"I went down to the beach, and there she stood, dark and tall, at the edge of the wood. The Sky´s too big; Im scared!, I cried, she replied: Young man, dont you know theres more to life than the moon and the president´s wife?"
Was she erm , was she nice, the presidents wife?
Ah, well, that was a lie put about by the shabogans. It was the presidents daughter. I didnt steal the moon, I lost i..
Id know you anywhere.
12 AND CLARA MENTIONED?!?!?
-"Life is cheap. Patients are expensive"
Just as I said. War oxygen. Theyre fighting the algorithm. And capitalism.
-"war is business, and business is booming"
-"and my name is the doctor ""the doctor isnt a name" "yeah. haha! And I not even a doctor."
Was the degree in cheesemaking a lie? What about the lego? Doctor, have you lied to me?
Medicine, science, engineering, candy floss, philosophy, music, problems, people, hope, and practically everything :(
-"Great name, Mundy Flynn. You should marry RUby, then you´ll be mundy sunday. Go on, get married, Id laugh every day."
NOW THATS MY TYPE OF HUMOUR 🫵‼️
-"Ive met sentient Mud. lovely girls. I mean grumpy, yeah, but you try lying around with your face full of mammals all day."
I thought of the morax from the witchfinders first but yeah lovely girls
-"im a much bigger bang than you bargained for.
im a lot more explosive than I look and honey, I know how I look."
Originallt I was just a fan of the first line but something about the doctor being in a very bad situation but going "Im hot af :)" is... lmao
-SNOW??? SNOW STOPPING MID AIR???
-"do you get-get-get it?"
-the way he said "girl" in "now you need proof, faith giArl?"
-DAD TO DAD???
I reallt liked the theory of Susan coming back but this might also hint at a general doctor-family thing. Maybe his child
-when everything worked out the soundtrack was the same as during the tardis reveal in the star beast. I had to stop the episode cause that score made me FEEL things. I could not the heck focus on 15 with this soundtrack on cause. Uhm.
....
Im so sorry but this tardis reveal is so so so SO special to me so playing the same music is actually vile. Because. No I wont be able to focus on the actual episode. I couldnt focus on the actual episode because 15 sang a song 2 played on his bloody recorder. You cant use a TARDIS REVEAL SCORE.
-"What happened" "well, its uh, its kind of hard to sum up. I think if I had a diary it would be a little bit too exiting for words. I think I could write it with drums. Can you write a diary with drums? I bet I could."
IS THIS A THOSCHEI REFERENCE?! 🗣🗣🗣
-the sky is like actually super pretty on kastarion 3
-"quite frankly, your life span sucks" HAHA
-"fish fingers and custard is mt favourite" FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD?!
-"A sad, old man once told me. WHat survives of us is love."
-irs actually insane how happy the tardis "vworp vworp vworp" makes me. Everytime the tardis disappears I giggle like little kid.
-im sorry but the next ep is SO intriguing Im very excited for next week, more excited than thid one actually
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
doing this all at once because im fasting and need a distraction... this shit be getting personal lmao
day 1: your stats
currently 82.2lbs as of writing
day 2: how tall are you, do you like your height?
im 4'10, no not really! definitely doesnt help my bmi out at all, lmao. id prefer to be around 5'4.
day 3: a picture of your thinspiration. what features do you like about this person?
most thinspo kinda rolls off my back and doesnt affect me, so i dont really look at it. blessing and a curse.
day 4: your greatest fear about weight loss
i only have one fear, and its my partner. she (not so subtly) compares herself to me and uses me as thinspo, and i know losing weight will only make this problem worse.
day 5: why do you really want to lose weight? are you doing it for you?
im not sure if theres a real reason anymore. everything i can think of is something that occurred after the disordered eating started, so i dont know what truly drives me. id say im doing it for myself because theres nobody else i would do it for.
day 6: do you binge? if so, explain why you think you do
of course, definitely. most times its due to an emotion, i think ive always used food as a comfort in that way.
day 7: do your parents know you are trying to lose weight? do they care?
they dont, i never told them and they havent found out. i assume my mom would care, my father sorta shuts himself off so i dont know if hed be mad about it or what.
day 8: your workout routine
im physically disabled from an unknown myopathy (my body doesnt produce enough muscle) so everything is a workout to me lmao. i generally walk around for 4-ish hours a day, since i cant quite manage anything else.
day 9: did anyone ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?
no, only my eating habits. i was often told that i ate so much i mustve had a tapeworm, and most of what i eat is "junk food" due to sensory issues.
day 10: what was the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss?
dude, i fucking miss the liquid calories! in past restriction phases i refused to count liquid cals, and i definitely still lost weight, but not as fast as i would have liked. ive started counting them and ughhhhh.
i didnt cut them out completely, so i still have creamer in my coffee and the occasional soda, but i want my milkshake goddamnit 😭
day 11: your favorite thinspo blog and why
same answer as day 3.
day 12: what do you normally eat?
for main meals i usually have tuna on toast, egg salad sandwiches, cream cheese bagels, ham sandwiches/ham bagels, grilled cheeses, basically just carb + animal product. if we order out its either a cheeseburger or fried rice.
for sides/snacks/small meals i like string cheese, pickles, mini candies, lollipops, pepperoni, if theres any sweets in the house i have some of that.
its a wonder that i even lose weight on this lmao. but OMAD and counting cals is what makes it possible.
day 13: are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?
i dont think ive ever seen someone answer this with the former option. we're all doing this unhealthily on this side of tumblr.
day 14: whats your UGW? when do you expect to reach it?
ooh, tough one. it seems like everyone has a set UGW but i dont. i feel most compelled towards the number 73lbs, which is the bmi of my LW (15.3). i dont think that bmi is low enough for me though, i'll figure out when i get there.
ive gotten close to that weight a couple times, but ultimately something always happens and i emotionally binge or whatever. no clue about timing.
day 15: are you vegan or vegetarian? if so, has this helped you lose weight? if not, would you consider turning vegan or vegetarian?
ive had lengths of time where ive been pescetarian (vegetarian + fish), it never helped me lose weight.
at this time in my life im not able to limit my diet to that degree, but i heavily support the lifestyle for ethical and environmental reasons. if i move out id likely try veganism.
day 16: when did you first decide to lose weight?
i began obsessively weighing myself at 7, and started to learn purging around 9/10. it wasnt ever something i was serious about, but at 12 i discovered the online ana community andddd... it really just brought out that part of me. so id say 12 is where it officially began, but ive had it in me since 7.
day 17: do you have an eating disorder?
never officially diagnosed but i dont think most people here are. yes, anorexia nervosa.
day 18: what food is your weakness?
i dont restrict what type of food i eat, as long as its under my limit. but my real weakness is food other people give me... i cant resist it regardless of the calories and it makes me feel so dumb. they dont even have to be in the room! it could just be takeout, they dont even have to be the one to cook it!
day 19: when is the last time you ate fast food?
i cant even remember, i almost never eat it since i dont like it. the grease and the oils coat my mouth and throat and it feels so disgusting.
taco bell cinnamon twists are bomb though.
day 20: favorite diet?
the special k diet is funny (literally just eat special k) but i always lose a lot of weight when i do cereal-based diets like that.
day 21: what are your clothing sizes?
ehhhh,,, i dont wear fitting clothes and everything is baggy, do usually womens small or sometimes xs.
my measurements are quite small (26bust, 23waist, 28hip IIRC?) so im below a 00 in most charts ive seen. unfortunately thats just my general size due to my height, im not as thin as people imagine from that by any means.
day 22: what was your lowest weight? when and how did you gain?
73lbs at 12, my height didnt change since then lmao. i experienced some trauma right after getting to that weight, which led to me binging myself back up to 90lbs.
day 23: did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?
i think it was more personal experiences rather than the media, however the media likely did contribute once i had already established my disordered eating.
day 24: how do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia
it depends on the context. in the original meaning, it just meant a space where you could discuss your disorder without actively working towards recovery. i support that heavily.
nowadays, where it usually means people promoting ana/mia as some pretty dainty "lifestyle", fucking ew. what is wrong with you people. i understand wanting to romanticize your disorder (and find others who do the same), but i draw the line at genuinely thinking that disordered eating makes you "better" than others, or whatever bullshit they try to say.
day 25: have you ever purged? if so, describe your first experience.
i have purged in the past, but due to my disability (day 8) i typically cant vomit anymore no matter what i try. the muscle just isnt strong enough anymore to contract that violently.
first experience was harrowing lmao, i had had a bowl of instant ramen and was hallucinating as i was purging it. everything else was so distracting, i dont really remember anything about the actual purging itself.
day 26: what excites you most about reaching your UGW?
the first time i got to my LW, i just remember feeling so giddy and proud and i want that again and again.
day 27: how do you deal with being around food?
if i eat it, im not longer around it... i just have zero self control.
day 28: do you want that gap between your legs? why?
i guess so. its something a lot of people are envious of, and i knew i was happy when i had it in the past.
day 29: your definition of beauty.
this is going to sound "wrong" from an anorexic person, but chubby people. i dont have a fetish for it, i have slept with average people without problem, but i dont think i could date someone who wasnt at least bmi 23... ive found that bmi 25-27 is the sweet spot though.
i just think theres something so attractive about it regardless of gender. like hell yeah thick arms and round stomachs and back rolls. fuck yeah.
day 30: 10 facts about you! and now, what are your stats?
oh god what is this, an interrogation? not saying stats since im doing this in one go.
i draw (hobbyist, nowhere near professional)
i collect animal bones and general knick knacks
garfield and miku are my favorite characters
i tap on everything
i wanted to be a veterinarian as a kid
favorite animals are polar bears and hammerheads
my grandmother wanted me to be named tapestry (what??)
i have dyscalculia
i enjoy making cookies
i can barely whistle
#⭐️ve#4nerex1a#⭐️rving#4norexla#an0rec1a#anrexx#⭐️vation goals#4nor3xia#⭐️ ing motivation#anrexya#4n4rexia#4norexia#3ating d1sorder#tw an0rexia#an4r3xia#an4rexia
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
headcanons about tachimukai during ie go? its always good to see your posts on my timeline!!
WAAAHHHH OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH!! And of course, I love him sm and I have a lot!!
I'm also adding this picture here because i really love how soft Shinsuke remembers Tachimukai, makes me emotional. He genuinely wants to help him. (I'll keep using this picture forever, methinks)
(some of these are during the 10-year timeskip; putting it under the cut)
Headcanons:
Almost everybody comments on how is it possible to have one of the most vicious goalkeeper in existence be so polite in interviews. He's so loved by people across Japan and has a really strong fanbase. And it's bcs he looks so focused and vicious in the field that most ppl cant recognized him outside of it (like how Shinsuke didnt).
Much like Kazemaru, Fubuki, Gouenji, and Kabeyama, he's also one of the few from the cast who stayed in Japan soccer leagues. All of the teams he belonged in lost the least goals in the leagues they've joined!! He's a monster goalkeeper in their eyes! (Another reason why Shinsuke didnt recognize him is bcs he doesnt believe someone as legendary as tachimukai would casually teach a goalkeeper-beginner like him.)
I genuinely think he's good at studying and has good grades in IT-related subjects and is above average in most sciences, he just chose to not go to college. He did go to a vocational school as a backup plan. In case he gets severly injured or sumthn since goalkeepers are known to retire for injuries more than the field players.
More than anything, he wants to teach goalkeeping so he has that as a consideration for his future also. He's still thinking abt in what way can he accomplish this but that time with Shinsuke did make him realize that it's something he wants to do. But maybe not right now, he thinks he needs more experience!
He gets tons of modeling offers that he keeps on declining bcs it's never been his interest. He once jokingly told Tsunami that maybe he should try it after his retirement, he didnt realize Tsunami took it seriously and he's very excited for this modeling career (Tsunami is in fact considering modeling too bcs of that joke)
He makes a lot of effort to stay connected with old friends and likes traveling a lot even if it takes time! He likes taking the scenic route too and just takes life slowly.
Some of the things he does when the league season is over are riding sleeper trains and hotel-buses!! (It's so cool that japan has those!!) Sometimes with friends or family, but he also likes going alone and making conversations with people (who most often does not recognize him at all).
He's timid as an adult still but he overcomes this by telling himself that being with people is part of the great experience of life however corny that sounds. It's one of the things he learned from being with the cast who gave him the courage to step out of his comfort zone.
Speaking of his traveling! His inagram is full of traveling pictures!! And all the food he gets to eat! He also travels outside the country and taste as many spicy food as he can. He's famous in inagram actually even if he barely has any pictures with his face in them but he's really cool with it.
He is also demiromantic ace in my heart <3
He casually enjoys surfing too (in the drama cd, he asked if tsunami can teach him how to surf to which i think he enjoyed) and competitively with tsunami (bcs tsunami makes everything a contest)
He goes trekking, mountain climbing, and skydiving with his old pals from Yokato a lot.
He goes to camping trips with the first year gang too (kabeyama, kurimatsu, kogure, haruna and they also invite shourin, shishido!!). Kogure plans these trips.
I have some more that's in my hissatsu techniques hc of him regarding how he is in the field but that's yet to be posted (bcs descriptions are so hard 😣). These are the ones that I can remember outside of that for now!
And really thank you for the ask, they really motivate me to share them!!
#but really i love him sm. i cant believe we've never seen him again aaaaaaa#i know he loves travelling. ik that in my heart#inazuma eleven#inazuma eleven go#ie imagined by lore#tachimukai yuuki#darren lachance#halftime lore#marmolao
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
PROMPTS LIST
Hi welcome to my prompts list, if you have an idea for a fic or would like one of these prompts in a fic let me know the number or letter or both in a request (feel free to use more than one) and I (if your request fits the guidelines) will write it at some point. If you are requesting you don’t have to use a prompt but feel free too. :)
please also look at my do’s and don’ts before requesting :)
DIALOGUE PROMPTS
1. “honey i know you really don’t want to but can you please take your medicine?”
2. “give me that, did you even look at the right dose before you started chugging cold medicine love?”
3. “if you can walk from here to there you can come with.”
4. “dont speak honey i can tell it hurts.”
5. “love you act like a child when your sick”
6. “honey no your not gross, you cant help being sick sweetheart.”
7. “no honey it happens i don’t blame you please don’t cry my sweet.”
8. “what are you doing out of bed my love?”
9. “look at me, hold my hands. breathe with me love your ok.”
10. “do you think you can eat something or will you be sick again my love?”
11. “honey you must be boiling from the inside out here come to bed and let me look at that fever of yours.”
12. “love we need to check your temperature again. i know i know you hate it.”
13. “your looking a bit pale love are you feeling alright, come here.”
14. “let me feel your forehead, no buts, come here.”
15. “this cant be new, love how long have you felt sick?”
16. “i don’t like the sound of that cough, let me hear your breathing my sweet.”
17. “no. you need to be in bed now come here ill carry you back.”
18. “can you walk?”
19. “is it your head?”
20. “if this happens again I’m taking you to the sickbay.”
21. “ready your obviously not capable of walking I’m going to carry you. ready? one two three up!.”
22. “slow sips my love or you’ll be sick again?”
23. “have you taken anything for it?”
24. “come on babe just a nibble its all I’m asking you need to eat something.”
25. “oh love you must feel awful.”
26. “let me see that right now, how did you even do this?”
27. “that sounds like a nasty cold, do you need anything?”
28. “honey you cant come with you can barely walk.”
29. “here put this over your eyes and sleep.”
30. “i got you a cold wash cloth and some pain medicine to help.”
31. “aww love come here.”
32. “is that the grim reaper?”
33. “did you get your period love.”
34. “its ok we can get the blood out.”
35. “honey can you come with me, your bleeding through your shorts.”
36. “come have a bath and i’ll get you something for the cramps.”
37. “oh love its that time of the month isn’t it sweets.”
38. “its ok, a little period blood wont kill me.”
39. “honey the boys haven’t noticed yet but the blood on your suit isn’t from the mission, aunt flo came.”
40. “Love we need to get you changed.”
41. “Um I think im gonna-“
42. “I’ll admit im not feeling so hot.”
43. “Honey you’ve lost your colour sweets you very pale.”
44. “Honey we need to get you checked out”
45. “It’s alright love I know you didn’t mean to.”
46. “Its ok you’ll be alright. Im right here.”
47. “I need you to tell me if your going to be sick again.”
48. “That doesn’t sound good.”
49. “Don’t lie to me I know somethings wrong.”
50. “How about you tell me the truth this time.”
51. “If the next thing you say is a lie I will leave you here by yourself.”
52. “Sweets you feel like a furnace I need you to let me check your temp.”
53. “Please let me look after you.”
54. “At this rate your going to collapse.”
55. “Stop running yourself into the ground.”
56. “I’ll always be here to pick up the pieces. Always.”
57. “One hug then you need to let me get up so i can look after you.”
58. “Darling come here, you clearly need cuddles.”
59. “I don’t care if your sick nothing will stop me hugging you love.”
60. “If you don’t come back to bed I won’t give you cuddles for a week.”
61. “How dare you threaten my cuddles. That’s low even for you.”
Scenarios
a. spontaneous collapse
b. acts like a child when sick
c. difficult when sick
d. insists their ok
e. cant speak so uses sign language
f. suffers in silence
g. hiding illness / injury
h. throwing up in bed
i. throwing up on someone
j. throwing up on the floor
k. bleeding on sheets (period)
l. bleeding through suit / clothes (period)
m. hiding cramps
n. hiding that their on their period
o. shaking hands
p. shaking body
q. fever + sweaty
r. needs to be carried everywhere
s. needy when sick
t. wandering around confused when sick
u. confused when sick
v. waking up confused.
w. Forehead kisses
x. Nightmare
y. Fever dreams
z. Cant walk properly
AA. Broken bones
AB. forehead kisses
AC. sniffles
#prompts#masterlist#fics#fic prompts#fic blog#marvel#the avengers#wanda maximoff#wandanat#natasha romanov#sicfic#wanda marvel#natasha romaoff#wandanat x reader#wandanat comfort#comfort#hurt / comfort#natasha comfort#wanda comfort#wanda sicfic#wandanat sick#wanda x r#natasha x r#avengers x r#sick reader#hurt reader#period fics#comfort fics#marvel sicfic#marvel comfort
18 notes
·
View notes
Note
Having trouble with thinking of something to ask hrmm
What part of the rw lore do you find most interesting? Like..what are your thoughts on it? any twists you've thought up or any detail/s you just wanna rant abt?
The rainworld lore is painfully a lot and painfully little at the same time, like why are the pearls focused on garbage worms and what is noise milking oh my goddd
moon isnt lore on her own but her pearl readings are a massive source of it. so if i had to say my favorite thing would be iterators and the relationship they had with their colonies. the fact they can vary and the fact iterators have different opinions of their parents!! (one iterator talked abt havjng to sit through dark political times awkwardly like 🧍🤷 at some points. thats funny)
ahem I looove it a lot!! for example the way moon worded her existence is sad. the way she speaks about them is sad. like in short “ancients must not try very hard so we do that for them. at least i did” <- smth along the lines
she sounds bitter she dislikes them with a hidden passion even when she has 5 braincells left. Not to mention she calls them parasites with bad takes (sheesh). something people dont really ?? recognize enough or at all imo is that moon almost retired (ancients moving away from her city) and she was happy about it. Until it didnt work out and some stayed and she was pissed again.
now pebbles speaks with softness (as much as he has it in him) he liked them! he liked their art! their music! he liked witnessing their stupid arguments even when they were in his name (he found the citadel he shaded funny for being so angry)
he found a lot of things they did stupid but he also was impressed in other aspects! he liked them a lot to the point the last item that he keeps for comfort and keeps him together as a whole is a hymn of theirs. even when abandoned, he finds comfort in the company they used to bring him!!! how sad!!
Another part of the lore. Hm cycles.
I have no idea how they work. Youd believe at first that when you die. You get reborn. Pain!!! never escaping!!
But that cant be the case it has sooo many plotholes if thats the case.
1 artificers kids died! straight up GONE. theyre dead!! thats why shes so insane you cant tell me theyre just lost somewhere and also pups cant ascend (me when i reach spiritual enlightenment at 10). theyre straight up gone.
2. imagine u defeat the scav kind and he comes back an hour later.. nah. thjngs DIE
3 why did the ancients go crazy over killing themselves then idk!
4 suns was basically crying about how they dont know what theyll do if spearmaster dies. yeah no respawning then.
So then the cycle is being reborn into smth new. great. how does karma play in this. how do you raise it. time? do you have your old memories after u go into a new cycle?? i dont know!! no scug has ever been plagued with dreams of being smth else before. !!! how do you confirm its a thing!! idk!! how do you know you are in a samsara! i wish we got ancients talking about it. in pearls or smth.
i havent ascended with saint yet. (reached karma 10 and bonked the siblings) but i doubt they answer all of my questions
random kiki rw lore fact- did you know that the rot area - (riv gameplay) there is a room in it thats just called terror!!! it upsets me greatly. the place is so different because the rot literally eats his walls. it fucks me up sometimes even if it seems obvious
#its 1am sorry im so incomprehensible!!!!#my brainrot is very bad WOOO#this is long i can talk for BOOK length amount of words#abt the lore of this game#very good.#also moon#moon is my favorite lore but i decided to be tame#tysm for the question!#ask#pinkavtomation
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
HIII BAHH SRRY FOR DISINTEGRATING FOR A FEW DAYS OPLA HAD MOMENTARILY CONSUMED EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING
HOWEVER this has been sitting, unfinished, in my vscest doc for a while now so i decided to finish it up. here u go eat up friend :]] oh yeah angst warning at the beginning btw:
so. lies on the floor. ichiji deserves to get fucked stupid after having a bad day and im thinking abt him w yonji rn so. :)
emotions regained/vs bros redemption ichiji having that almost subtle kinda self hatred one day- (bc in emotions regained aus all the brothers are chronically mentally ill, they're so traumatized its painful :,D) -not the kind that makes you wanna scream or cry or throw up, instead the kind that makes your heart go a little faster than normal and that makes your skin crawl and makes you feel sick for being alive. the kind that builds and builds until it's too much.
yonji (the most *emotionally* intelligent one out of 124ji, methinks) eventually notices smthns wrong and asks ichi abt it and ichiji just Breaks. like he pauses, crumples into a ball, and starts pulling his hair and venting about how he feels so disgusting and unworthy of love and how he wants to rip his skin off for something new and he hates this he hates this he hates this he hates himself
and yonji LISTENS to him. he listens with a frown until ichi is fucking winded, hyperventilating, and sweating with frustrated tears in his eyes. and then yonji hits him with the
"What do you need me to do, Ichiji?"
then ichi just stops shaking (and breathing) entirely for a moment as the question registers b4 his shaking slowly starts up again and his bottom lip starts trembling and he slowly looks up at yonji with big ole watery eyes and shakily signals him over to cuddle and theybpagaufuafuaf!!!!
the two of em lying down w yonji holding ichiji tight against his chest- one hand/arm curled around chijis lower back while the other is running through his hair and ichis just curling around yonji like a koala. he buries his face in yonjis neck and is constantly mumbling "im sorry" and yonji says "theres nothing to apologize for" each and every time back, proving his point by pressing a kiss to a different part of ichiji each time.
this continues on until ichiji stops crying and calms down. then he thanks yonji by sitting up slowly and holding yonjis face in his hands and kissing him *so* gently.
^ idk maybe its just me but i feel like out of all the vs siblings ichiji would have the hardest time being gentle. sanji always has been, reiju *secretly* always has been, yonji *had* to learn to be (even when he was still emotionless) bc of his strength (and therefore it came somewhat easily to him when he got emotions), nijis always been a giant fucking tsundere so even though hes an ass about 90% of the time, he does have the capability to at least sit and listen and take care of someone he loves (especially after regaining emotions, the percentile changes from 90/10 to 50/50 then lmao), but ichiji?? the perfect, emotionless soldier, even after getting fixed??? practically unheard of.
so when he pulls THIS shit???
it makes yonjis libido go WHAM. like that mf went redder than chijis hair. might as well been a cartoon character with the way he practically started floating as his eyes turned into hearts
THEN. then that gentle kiss delvesssss
ichiji getting lost in his emotions, leading him to grab yonjis face so *desperately* and straddle his hips/lap and kiss him thru tears.. n yonjis there half dumbstruck half horny, grinding on ichis ass while the hands once petting his hair and stroking his back to soothe him move to squeeze at it bc holy shiiit what is happening rn yonji cant compute. do u see the vision 🙈🙈
then, SHOCKINGLY, (/sarc) they fuck each other stupid. like STUPID stupid. so stupid that when 023 find them in the morning they straight up think the two were jumped in an alley together or smthn with how marked up their bodies were n shit (but they figure it out real quick once they see how badly ichiji was limping :]) ((tho if you asked me personally yonji wasnt exactly walking straight either :]])) (((they are both switches :]]])))
AND SCENE. i wrote abt both ichiniji and yoniji b4 this so now the 124ji circle is complete lmao. i need more soft ichiji in my life and if theres no one to provide i shall make it myself :)) -J.J
Honestly relatable, I can't stop thinking about opla since the day I watched it lol it was so good and I want to rewatch it already
But back to vcest 👀
Ichiji being emotionally stunted after getting his emotions back is a concept that's always at the back of my mind but I never put too much thought into it, but now I'm 👀
I see him as trying to keep himself, and the others, together, he doesn't let his emotions run freely, he tries not to let them take the better of him else he might go down and spiral of self hatred and guilt, so he puts his energy into looking after the others and trying to come up with a plan to get them out of judge's grasp
It takes a toll on him of course, his repressed emotions keep building up and he feels himself going insane and with no way to vent
When yonji catches him like this, on the verge of panicking, he finally let's go and it feels so good and so freeing for once. Yonji's rock solid, he embraces him, takes his whole body into strong arms and makes him feel safe, and he doesn't budge, he lets ichiji cry against his shoulder until he's satisfied and spent
Ichiji's tired but tries to show his gratitude with a kiss and yonji combusts. It's not every day that he has ichiji this pliant and soft and sweet sprawled in his lap and he wants to do so many things to him but his brain's all muddled and he doesn't know where to begin!!
Once he gets a hold of himself tho, it's over for ichiji, the strength he used to comfort him will now be used to ruim him
#older brother going to the yonger brother for comfort is so ajjsskdkajdjsk#and yonji taking a second to process the kiss and then just going feral aajskdjsjd#the dynamic between these two has so much potential!!!!#vinsmokecest
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Get to know you tag game
Thanks @hergan416 for the tag i needed a distraction frm anxiety supreme
Three Ships: I’m gonna cheat and say MAS, MarcoAce and SaboAce— but that doesn’t count bc its the same characters just. Add or take hdbdn I’ll try find some variety and not make them all one piece: MAS, Reguri (pokemon), dimiclaude (fe3h)
First Ship: naruto and sasuke yeah BAYBEE its all about the nindo way dattebayo (i was 12)
Last Song: Just One Yesterday (Fall Out Boy) its my favourite song ever, I listen to it almost daily and never get tired of it, wish I could see how many times ive played it because its been 10 years since save rock and roll came out as an album so i assume its ALOT of repeats, something about the melody something about the lyrics jts fucking genius i love it esp the part:
Anything you say can and will be held against you
So only say my name
It will be held against you
Makes me go balls to the walls everytime lol
Last Movie: Mario movie it was nice, wish I watched in America tho, i think alot of the references and jokes were lost on the audience here :(
Currently Reading: fanfiction i just wanna get serotonin lol i cant commit to books that i might hate (unfortunately a common problem for me, maybe i just dont like reading anymore who knows) i just hang out on the Ace AO3 tag and hope someone posts smth 😭
Currently Watching: totk stuff im poor gotta wait for payday to buy at the end of this month
Currently Consuming: like food? Nothing i dont eat until evenings
Currently Craving: something that can shut my brain up for one second, its loud and i hate it like intrusive bad thoughts i want to hit alt f4 on that shit, more Ace content (surprise whoa) and like a ten year coma where i can just wake up and go wow im gender and its gonna be daijobu
Tag List: @longingforthecosmos @liferockingitout @authenticaussie @bakyura @childofmothermoon @oz-gauze @arielxlazarus @kawaiikoalagarden @kingsofneon @itsthefandommash @/anyone everyone i forgot sry in advance ofc no pressure this is only if you wanna do this :3
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
eating like shit and feeling like shit. keeping a record of this so my future self has something to look back on-
this is the day i said forget restricting for the day and ate anything i wanted- fries, pizza, candy, etc. and right now, my stomach hurts like hell. like. HELL.
you know the feeling- queasy, bubbly, like someone is literally twisting my insides. oh and the headache is worse. every time i look at a screen i wince but i cant just go lay down bc i have an exam tomorrow. not to mention the literal shaking due to the sugar. your heart feeling like it’s literally going to stop beating. looking at the scale tomorrow and realizing you lost all the progress that you worked so fucking hard for.
i feel disgusting rn. like i was pumped full of food like a fucking farm animal. this is gross.
you know what would never make you feel like this? a salad. a fucking apple. fruit, veggies, rice cakes. and if you want a sweet treat so fucking bad, i literally have those too.
a fuck up is fine. it happens. but literally no more. it’s almost 10 days into april. time is wasting and summer is quickly approaching. i refuse to have another insecure summer. i’m gonna post a food log on here every day. i’m gonna work out at least 4x a week, even if it means waking up before my classes and taking a morning shower. and by the end of the month i’ll notice some results. imagine how much progress i’ll make if i keep this up until may. until june. i feel motivated about this week. and even if i don’t “feel it” at the beginning of every day, at a certain point i have to make myself feel it. i cant only work toward my goals when i feel like it. i posted my plan, i have my rules, i have my vision board. i can fucking do this.
i know this was a long post; it was mainly for me than it was for you guys but if anyone wants to keep each other motivated, i’d love to message or have a little gc!! (18+ pls!!)
#ed but not sheeran#edblrr#thinnsp0#tw ana diary#tw ed in the tags#thiinsp0#thin$po#tw calories#ed bllog#i want to be weightless#tw ana related#weight loss#motivation#ana rant#ana gc#ana group#ed rant#ed ramblings#ed rambles
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
HELP
I can't see my therapist for a couple of weeks and am currently having something i like to dub "yet another hiro autism crisis" where i contemplate if my therapist gave me the right diagnoses (she has told me she is not certified to give autism diagnoses, and instead more things like depression)
Right now, I am diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety/ Social anxiety (its still up in the air, DPDR, and depression. idk if that matters
SO NOW I LIST RANDOM THINGS that could be considered symptoms or not I DUNNO HOW TO DO THISS
feel free to ask questions about some of the crap i say here half of it doesn't make sense
First off, I have a general trouble understanding most social situations, and struggle sometimes when talking about practically anything. For example, earlier today my step-mom basically said she wasnt going to finish her food and let my brother have it. my brother said he would leave 2, he didnt (BOZO) and later after he left she found the empty container and said something along the lines "HAH! I thought he said he was gonna leave me 2!" and immdeiately without thinking i went "hey! you said he could have as many as he can! and hes working 10 hours a day and needs his energy!!" half jokingly and she got mad at me for it, we got into a mini argument over that.
When saying something thats serious, i tend to make a joke around it and i have NO CLUE why. I just CANT be openly upset around people. For example, when being told about something that happened to me as a kid that NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED RAGRHAGHAG, instead of having a breakdown and being reasonably upset, i burst out into giggles and laughs while my brother was just so fucking confused on what was wrong. It was kinda like i couldn't stop and it fucking sucked
The TINIEST things can upset me, and other HUGE things can have little to no effect. Its so incredibly annoying
I have INTENSE fluxuations in interests, hobbies, and motivation for certain projects. I will start on this huge project that im INCREDIBLY excited for, and then a week later have little to no interest in continuing it.
I make everything about my personality a joke, i dont know why. EVERYTHING i tend to say or do has to be funny. it's like i dont want people to see beneath that
I fluctuate in personality A TON, especially depending by the people i am around. At school, I'm the quiet kid. I don't talk to anyone except maybe 5 people, but other than that i tend to stay completely silent. It could be a mask? i dunno. but when im at home, ask my brothers, i am BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS. it might also be me just getting some of my energy out? RRAHHH I DUNNOOO
I will simply forget to do very important things to the point of endangering my health. Like forgetting to eat for a day straight. my step-mom thinks i have an ED AND I DONT. i literally just keep realizing suddenly at like 6 pm all i have eaten is a couple of skittles and pringles.
i have no clue how talking to people works and im constantly winging it. I forget how to have friends especially how to even talk or interact with them and its so stupid. I can't ever start a conversation with someone without having at least 5 minutes going "am i weird for this am i being annoying am i being clingy".
If i say even one thing wrong i WILL be thinking about it for DAYS thinking about how they probably hate me now and im a terrible person ect. ect.
I tend to hide many of my traits (especially good ones) because i am incredibly embarrassed and never want anyone to EVER compare themselves to me.
im a people pleaser does that count
i tend to get extremely upset if i get told one bad thing about something that i like or just a project i have. For example, I had this fandom silly man poll because i just wanted to find out who was silly. Then one of my friends just posted something like "i hate fandom polls theyre the worst" and i just lost complete motivation afterwards. I haven't touched that blog in WEEKS at this point becuase i simply have no more interst
I have had a meltdown or 2 before, and they both stemmed from being told about how i was a bad person. i don't know why the hell thats a thing
I can't stay focused on one thing for long periods of time (ADHD cough cough) Like literally earlier i was watching this video about autistic traits and i kept having to back the video up because i would get sidetracked in my mind to the point where im just not listening anymore
if im not paying attention to people sometimes I SWEAR theyre saying "ffajaleifnanamzmaldafjkjeffnma" and as soon as i start noticing it suddenly theres words again. hate that.
i have times where it can kinda seem like i cant speak, and if i do everything comes out wrong and jumbled. Like when my autistic friend would have a sensory related meltdown, i would never know what to do and end up going dead silent because of being so mad at myself for not knowing how to help (any tips actually hahahahaHOW DO I HELP)
i have little idea who the hell i am. had a mini-crisis because i didn't know what my favorite color was because before, it was the color my friend with synesthesia said i was and i just went with that (i think its purple or blue i have no fucking clue JFALJK)
i will have spikes of random motivation on one thing. like learning lanugauges, i will have a week where its so easy to get like 10 lessons on duolingo done a day and then the next week its a struggle to get even one done.
i focus better with distractions ??? I can't focus without music and tend to do better on reading tests if everyone else in the class is talking ???
i remember the most random things about certain things. Like, i could not for the LIFE of me remember what color that one persons hair that i was talking to for 15 minutes straight. but i can remember that they had pink socks on. WHY IS THAT WHAT I REMEMBER??
I hate organization and doing the same thing every day. i NEED chaos. My brother a little bit ago helped me out and got me to make a personal to-do list. i couldnt do it a single day even though the things were extremely simple like "brush hair, make bed, eat breakfast ect."
i zone out a LOT. especially when people bring up topics im uncomfortable with or conflict with my current feelings. i go into a kinda little talking (not nonverbal, i can still talk) or just confused state that freaking sucks.
when im in a high energy mood i tend to not feel.. reall???? I do many things overboard and annoy the heck out of my brothers. i always feel terrible afterwards.
Idk if this is weird to say but i tend to get really off put when people im comfy with get haircuts or major changes in their appearance. I never like the change no matter what the hair cut looks like. i dont have any clue why
i have no clue whether or not any of this is real or if I have managed to make it all up in my head. (bascially when i was younger i wanted attention and ended up faking depression for a year straight and was an absolute ass to my friends and blah blah blah)
#hiro.txt#autism#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#autistic#mental illness help#asd#asd help#nd help#rrahh#like i cant tell if i am masking INCREDIBLY WELL or not#i have no clue#oh its almost 1 am LOL
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
fanfic asks: 7, 9, 19, 23, 26
7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?
I have 2 long, unfinished fics. The Djinn Dilemma (ATLA; Zutara) and Lost and Found (Sailor Moon; Usagi/Mamoru). I started them around the same time like 10 years ago, and I know exactly how I want to end each of them, but getting to those endings has been...difficult. In the mean time, I've finished a bunch of other long fics with a lot less agony. I am committed to finishing both of these fics one day, but for the moment, the are just sitting on my unfinished works pile. Judging me. (I've linked to these fics, but fair warning, they are currently only on FFN, and you know that site has been trash)
9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?
I have not.
19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?
I guess if I had to pick a scene, it would be this one from Summer Bloom
Aang was seated next to Toph, and he hadn't said anything yet. Now, with Sokka and Suki falling into a conversation about what to and not to say at breakfast, and Katara and Zuko fixing plates, he leaned over and whispered,
"Last night was scary. Are you ok?"
"I survived the night," Toph shrugged. She took a mouthful of congee. It was as good as it smelled. Toph was torn between gobbling it all down and eating slowly to savor every bite. If this was how it would be every cycle, Toph thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
"Are you pregnant?" Suddenly, Toph's delicious meal was choking her. She had inhaled a bit of fish and she sputtered and coughed.
"Toph!" She heard Katara drop something metal- a spoon or ladle probably- and rush to Toph. She hit the younger girl's back a few times until the fish dislodged. Toph spat it into a napkin and rounded on Aang wildly.
"I'm not pregnant, you idiot!" she shouted. And once more, an awkward silence settled on the room.
23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?
This comment from All the Things That Are and Will Be was so nice, I genuinely wanted to frame it. It was a long one, but here is the main point.
the way you developed hamas character and had katara sympathise with her was amazing, and i wish the show had taken the same route. you really fleshed out her character and made her such a deep complex person- much more than i think the show did. you delved into her anger and showed how she reluctantly became attached to katara in an absolutely beautiful way. expanding on the southern water tribe techniques of waterbending and the complexities of bloodbending wasnt something i expected, but it was beautifully done and really just gave me feelings i cant even describe. even though i knew it was coming, hamas death made me cry and left me just a little heartbroken and i actually cant thank you enough for making me so attached to a character- who was only in like one episodd of the actual show- that i cried at her death in a fic.
26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?
When people say the way my characters act mesh well with canon.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
here, i answered the art questions
1. Art programs you have but don't use
aseprite, krita (nightmare to draw in), i used to have a totally 100% absolutely-not-pirated copy of photoshop but not anymore
2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)
depends on the day, but usually the left. i hate doing side profiles tho
3. What ideas come from when you were little
A LOT. but my story Nightfall has been a work in progress since I was 11
4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw
GORO AKECHI PERSONA 5
5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself
i hardly post most of my art on Tumblr atm, but that’s because almost all of it regards the Kirby Gemini AU and my partner and i are making a blog for that. so, as a percentage for the last few years, i’ve probably only posted maybe. less than 1% of my work?
6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)
honestly a lot of old emo art fksbfjfbd jhonen vasquez was a huge inspo to me for a while
7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate
PLUSH MAKING AND FURSUIT MAKING god i wanna learn but i don’t think sewing is my thing
8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in
i’ve had a lot, but i wanna keep them to myself in case I wanna salvage bits and pieces
9. What are your file name conventions
Depends on the day and the art piece but usually shit like “sorry if this looks gay”, variations of AWOO, “normal”, “k i l l”, “straight people”, etc
10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw
Uhhhh armor (i say like a fucking freak)
11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what
this nightmare of a playlist
12. Easiest part of body to draw
Uhhhhhhh depends on the day, usually the face
13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing
iunno, i don’t think abt that
14. Any favorite motifs
A LOT. i cant think of any specific ones rn but i guess. religious imagery is pretty baller. that and super dark palettes with bright neon highlights and accents
15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)
my room for digital stuff, but i usually bring a sketchbook with me if i’m going out
16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing
oughhh coloring and shading
17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what
usually water. hydration is important 👍
18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken
traditional, i have no clue. too many. digital supplies uhhh i didn’t break per se, but two art tablets have given out (my first one lasted years, but the second only lasted a few months coz it sucked booty hole)
19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)
TREES.
20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy
expression work!
21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways
my partner’s style!! i love it so fucking much
22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any
i do a lot of hand stretches. carpal tunnel was too much of a bitch not to
23. Do you use different layer modes
all the time! always for shading and for glowing bits. multiply and add glow layers my beloved
24. Do your references include stock images
sometimes yea lol. i don’t use refs as much as i should tho
25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by
Too much for me to be happy about it.
26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended
i drew a vent piece and people took it as me just being edgy. wild times
27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with
somedays i do. usually just shitposts or my sona
28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)
i have participated in 1 (one) collab
29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically
uhh ace attorney and persona
30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated
is it weird to say a lot of my works? like the finished ones. iunno, i feel like i get overlooked a lot and it’s a cowabummer
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was sitting in front of my full body mirror braiding my hair and at one point I just look at myself. Like fully look at myself and it's like how did I let myself get this fat. How did it get this bad? How could I not realize I was getting this out of control? Fat and ugly, how the hell. I can't even get myself to stop crying. I had a pretty face once. Even without the make up. I was big but I at a good enough weight to work some off and be okay. I even got compliments on losing some weight but here the fuck I am. I'm 467 pounds. I'm almost half of a 1000 pounds. My face doesn't look good when I do make up anymore. My face is round and long at the same time. My eyes are fucking huge, nothing new there. I have thunder thighs out this fucking world. My stomach hangs and my dumbass boobs sag. And my arms flap and you can see the crease from behind. My fucking back is wide and my rolls hang. My ass is high, square, and fucking huge. AND FOR SOME FUCKING REASON, EVEN WITH HAVING A EATING DISORDER, I CANT KEEP THE FUCKING WIEGHT OFF. I lost 33 pounds at one point. I was DOWN 33 pound in December and gained back like 10 15 pounds I think. God I don't want to hate myself but I make it so fucking hard not too. All my friends have these pretty body shapes and they get talked too. People want them. People want to date and hang out with them. They have relationships. I get dirty looks and talked to crazy. My own fucking niece will ask why I'm so big and why my butt is shaped like that and her mom will laugh it off. I'm laughing and crying at the same time because it's just so unbelievable. I hated myself since I was in elementary school because I was so fat. I was only 200 some pounds. I didn't hit 300 till high school. How the fuck do you hate yourself for so long for being fat and STILL GAIN FUCKING WEIGHT. I don't even know what to do. Nothing fucking works. I don't even have money for the fucking surgery. Otherwise I would have been got it done. And on top of all this, the one fucking thing that makes me feel that something, isn't turning out right. My braids are fucking ugly and I'm not even half way done. I quiet literally don't even want to do this shit anymore. I'm so fucking over it. I can't keep living like this. Fuck all of this
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
taidamun
Hablando con la luna. ♥
wama2006mt
Untitled
peace-love-fun-youtube-blog
Untitled
madcravings
mimi
plus-girl-slay-blog
Plus Girl $lay