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hospitalterrorizer · 7 months

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diary48

10/25-30/2023

wednesday - monday

i know i actually missed a bunch of days but i will try to put many thoughts about them here.

i figured since keeping my diary went so bad last time, i just wouldn't try w/ it this time because my gf would be really busy and we had someone else in the hotel with us this, time, her mom. her mom was kind of difficult for me to deal with, in the hotel at least. most of the time she was pretty pleasant or like, at least nice. the first day was good until we all went to bed and like, she started snoring. i figure i'll have the video uploaded to dropbox tomorrow off my phone and i'll be able to post that here, along w/ more selfies or whatever. anyways, the snoring was intolerable and i slept for maybe 2 hours that day. the next, i got maybe 3 hours, the day after i slept in like, these twenty minute spurts i think, three days, saturday was similar too, just miserable, weirdly coming in and out of dreams, awoken by nightmares and just incapable of dealing, feeling exhausted perpetually and tired, and so exhausted i couldn't even be grouchy or whatever, i was just like, i dunno, sapped. i guess i'm normally not grouchy when i'm tired, i just get really sensitive when someone starts being mean to me, which made all the people in arizona so much worse probably because i could tell they were staring and like, i know looks of ire/hate/whatever, and i dunno, maybe the people who look like they want to hatefuck me. they're rarer, i think most people there, honestly most, were pretty disturbed by me. not a surprise cuz that state hates anyone who has something strange happening with their gender. i guess i made it harder on myself, i could have just let myself look like how i was born but i don't like doing that and knowing i might have to makes me really unhappy. i just want to be myself but i guess everyone suffers consequences for being alive, getting stared at is maybe on the less bad end, well it definitely is, but it really fucks with you honestly, i think. like, what can you do, i stare back, usually they stop, arizona is the first place people really didn't look away. i remember a guy in the hotel lobby during free breakfast, he kept staring, i was standing still, looking at him while i threw my food away, he didn't quit it until at least 40 seconds of staring took place. it's like they think they let you win if they act polite. another instance, walking to get lunch with my gf, these 3 or 4 men at this table outside did not stop looking, i locked eyes with one directly facing me and nearest, and he just began muttering under his breath, and finally looked away out of some kind of total frustration. women were doing this too, from across the street, all that. families, children (which is more whatever, it only sucks when it feels like/seems like the parents think it's good that their kids stare so it dissuades anyone from being a freak (and also, exposing their kid to someone they think is bad so that way they know what bad people look like or whatever)). i spent a lot of the trip around college aged people, which would make you think this wasn't what happened most of the time, but really, these college people did it constantly, they also talked about doing drugs/drinking and teaching kids at church. a really weird/evil campus. two superchristians asked me some questions, and they weren't bad at all. that's still shocking to me. they obviously wanted me to convert and that probably comes with a stop being weird desire but they at least talked to me like they would anyone else.

me w/ a candy fag in my axes femme dress. i don't think i looked that ugly! i don't know. maybe i was super ugly outside of the very flattering/nice bathroom mirror. i really need a mirror like that in the apartment. i took a bunch of selfies in it so i can just have pix of my face in good lighting so i don't think too badly of myself.

not being able to work out fully sucked too, by the by.

also, first day, i realized how good my psp is as a mp3 player, and it also has a visualizer, which gave me the idea to use that for the album somehow, that'll be really exciting when i get that goinggg.

asu is one of the weirdest places i've ever been, i don't have many photos of it on my computer now, but the place felt super evil. for one, walking into some of the buildings, my gf and i saw all these vr headsets hooked up to a wall in this really menacing way, they hung as ghosts or skeletons in tombs, with that raytheon sheen to them, something really evil. it made me think of things james ferraro is into right now, and his video game, and the store ultimate electronic, ancient and lost to time certainly. beyond the bizarrely super tech-forward aspect of this campus (it is hugely a part of the culture there it seems, arizona i think wants to bring in startups to boost its local economy + they really would love to have that clout at asu (which they seem to be getting, proving themselves as great lapdogs for capital 10 years in a row now receiving #1 in many terms such as innovation, globlal impact, sustainability)), the place had like 7 churches attached to it. what else, i dunno, the architecture was nice and then very suddenly there were these hudson-yards esque growths, weird neoliberal light installations (raytheon sheen, smooth, rgb lightcycles, huge, inoffensive and basically pretty at some angles, recalling a jellyfish in the night, at others, bringing to mind yoga studio moodlighting as imagined by wal-mart led lightbulbs), and so on. the people on campus, even at night, as activity died, stared and were very weird. uptight stem people it feels like, mostly. on campus though i did see some very nice art, which i will probably get to post w/ names tomorrow. my gf's conference put these on at the school as well, so it was really not related to asu, which feels good i think. i like that stuff, and i'm glad that can stick with me, one woman's work (audrey robinovitz) i saw was some textile stuff she did, really lovely grading on the values in it, supposedly she's weird on twitter but i quite like her visual art (she also had a poem there which sucked but whateverrrr). and jessica tucker created these:

i love them, trapped in plastic, expressing and deformed, part of your communication becoming the ways you are failing to cross the gap, the way you're stuck in the uncanny forever sometimes, the way mania feels when you can't fully communicate with your body, all that kind of stuff. also looks like people stuck in their own reflections in water, not staring at themselves for pleasure but operating from way down there, that history of having been reflected all that instantiates them. whatever. you get it, i like it, i think it is communicating something to me. i'll try and say more about the other works i saw tomorrow when i post them, put thoughts to text as i think these things probably deserve.

i also took some rather sexual photos of these birch trees on the campus, hopefully i can use them but they struck me as reminiscent of hans bellmer and so it felt necessary to take these photos.

and here are some other eerie things i found/shot:

i also did go to one aquarium in a mall, a regular aquarium, and a zoo. i quite liked these, but my gf's mom spent much of these trips saying how she'd gone to better places, and i know she paid and stuff, but it honestly felt pretty rude, i dunno. i never got out a lot, the only really cool places like that i've been are the san diego zoo, which got cut short because i think i was being stupid as a kid, the monterey bay aquarium (i think one of the happiest moments of my life, which is very sad i suppose, but i really adored seeing all those fish just doing things) and the aquarium in chicago, the shed or whatever, i dunno its name, that one was really beautiful too, great creatures on display and a great view of the lake through a huge window. the zoo made me kind of sad, because we saw some animals who seemed pretty unhappy, the jungle cats, a leopard who was pacing as humans do when in stress, a very abnormal behavior, i think, and a sick cat. i didn't take many photos at these, just cuz i wanted to be in the moment for it, i like seeing them do things.

as far as special displays go, i did get to see some batfish, which i don't believe i've ever seen, and i also saw some flounder, a very crazy thing to see, their eyes really are so baffling and surreal, they should not be alive it feels like.

in the zoo, all the reptiles and snakes especially were kept up front and very visible, which was wild to me, i saw some of them moving their funny heads around, they really are such cute and strange creatures. it was also great seeing lizards, i love them, i recognized many from the wild but it was still very fun. also in the reptile enclosure, apparently a family i didn't see was staring at me more than the animals, very annoying! on the other end of that, we all got to see some prairie dogs just chilling, which was very cute/fun. my gf and her mom say they were the highlight of the trip when it comes to animals.

some pics of the 2 aquariums, i wonder if i'll find a way to use these:

and from the mall:

fun and old style of ornamentation in arizona mills.

as far as daytrip stuff, the last thing we really did was today, when we went to this pumpkin patch thing, it was cute, i felt like i was in the illbleed worm level so i felt pretty happy, the haunted and weird autumnal atmospheres really speak to me so when i got to experience that kind of thing in the corn maze/ the pumpkin patch that was full of rotting pumpkins that kids have kicked open, i really enjoyed myself. it feels like a deep thing in me, that's attracted to all that stuff. the carny/fairground stuff, the gentle abjection of it. we also saw some goats, that was cute. we also saw a really insane food truck that has the q anon shaman as a skeleton as its logo on it:

people here were of course very weird too, but not so bad, worse than vegas but not as bad as phoenix it felt like. but, one woman saw me holding a huge pumpkin and she said: you need two!! and held one of her smaller pumpkins up to her breast, and laughed, and i laughed, and she said: i've been looking all day for another! it's the perfect gag. and she went off still looking. she treated me like a human i think, so she is kind of a hero to me, sincerely, i hope she found her other pumpkin for her photo.

we also did some other stuff ofc, through the days, my gf's mom really wanted to go to this huge hunting store, we went to that, i played a shooting game in it and scored 970 points-ish, my gf got 350-ish. my gf's mom got disturbed that i looked at the guns a lot but it's really a fascinating place. these stores are where men go to waste money how they think their wives waste money on clothes, thousand dollar accessories, maybe biting the bullet on something way more expenisve (keeping the typo) , the displays and sale tactics are the same, and just as well, this is the american male fantasy, or at least one of them, the rural king of his land, and the way weapons are represented and which ones are sold, really can communicate a lot. overall it's crazy and fascinating, it's why i like looking in bass pro shops, at the people and the things they buy, and the things they deem fun diversions in their stores (for instance all the weird old candy they sell in these hunting superstores). anyways, as you expect, the base is hugely reactionary and everyone there found me kind of freakish except this grandma who just didn't realize, and when she did, she just smiled. here's a sticker i saw in the parking lot on a car there:

no pain, no gain, shut up and.

so anyways, one final anecdote:

my gf's mom loving bill maher made us watch him and it was so shocking how stupid he is and bad his show is that i started making jokes about it with my gf and she got so mad she just silently shut the tv off and watched the real housewives on her phone. because i said bill maher needs a guy to tell him when to piss over an earpiece.

soooooooooooo,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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lostonehero · 1 year

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More YouTuber Micheal

"Now kids who watch my nephew, you have to ask for an adults permission to start this project..." Henry continues as Micheal gives him a thumbs up.

It's been a long time since he has seen his uncle this happy. Maybe if Elizabeth wasn't killed accidently, then William wouldn't have killed Charlie to show the pain he was feeling against Henry... granted, that's a lot of what ifs and many, many dead children ago.

"Micheal, can you hand me a wrench, please.... not from your chest cavity." Henry frowns as Micheal puts his shirt down.

Micheal rummaged through his uncle toolbox. "What size do you need?"

"Just give me the set, kid. I'll be using multiple." Henry smiles, taking the tools from Micheal.

Michael returned to his seat, watching his uncle. He was honestly happy. It's been a long time coming, but he feels happy. Sure, he still wants things like love and maybe the ability to eat a burger, but he doesn't feel guilty anymore. Sure, he was a dumb kid, but how could he know that his father reinforced the jaws of Fred bear, making it capable of crushing a skull. Uncle Henry has explained it multiple times that wouldn't be possible unless specifically built.

"Oh, uh, Micheal?" Henry smiles again he knows Micheal is zoning out, and he doesn't want his thoughts to spiral.

Micheal looks up from his chair. "Uh, right, what do you need help with?"

"Micheal, this is your channel, and I did have some questions to ask you while I work. I am a guest on here. You should be featured on your own channel." His eyes crinkle as he smiles.

Micheal gets up from his chair in the corner, walking to stand next to Henry. "Uncle Henry, this is your project."

"Don't uncle Henry me kid. Your fans should be able to see how you are with family, right? Got to be a good influence on these kids that watch you."

Micheal bites back a laugh. "Alright, alright, only because you asked. Besides, the fans do have questions for you."

Henry smirks. "Now, is that right?"

"They want to know how you're so fit for your age, and again, another age thing why you don't look your age."

Henry snickers. "Having an active lifestyle helps, I still work at a few fredbear locations fixing the machinery I invented. To keep my mind sharp, I've been teaching myself all the new programming languages that's been developed. I've been on top of my game. A healthy diet helps as well. My nephew keeps me young as well, I might not be skin and bone like him, but we all get there in the end."

Micheal chuckles. "Yes, yes, I'm the walking corpse, and you're in your 70s with skills to rival any youngin."

"Youngin Micheal, really? You sound older than me. I'm hip with these kids." Henry laughs as Michel starts to laugh as well.

Micheal waves his hands. "Alright, alright last question so you can finish your machine for the people."

"Give me a hard one, Mike. I can take it." Henry smirks.

Micheal raises his brow and nods. "So, Uncle Henry, why don't you live here with me?"

Henry smile softens. "For one, you live in a one bedroom apartment, Micheal, in one of the worst places in town." He is speaking as if he is scolding Micheal but in a very caring way. "And two, why do you keep refusing to move in with me. My old house can use more than one person in it."

"You know your sister doesn't like me.. and her kids and grandkids dont..."

"Michael, that's enough. I would gladly take you in my home if you ever accept it.. we would have to build several new bookshelves for your massive library that occupies your bedroom, hmmmm maybe redo the bathroom as well."

"That's another reason. You don't need more excuses to change that old home of yours."

"Bah, right guys, my nephew should stay with me. He's running out of excuses." Henry chuckles. "That's the one thing you have in common with your father you're both stubborn to a fault."

Micheal huffs and waves him off, crossing his arm as he sits in the chair in the corner.

"Ah, apologies, it seems my nephew is pouting. I've struck a dead nerve."

Micheal hides a smile from that joke.

"Anyway, back to the machine at hand. So when we reach this part...."

.....

Uncle Henry's videos always do really well for his channel. Micheal, however, does not want to explain what a Gilf is to his uncle.

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #scooped michael #micheal afton #henry emily

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thedaredevilsgirl · 3 years

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Dear Teacher - Part 2

warnings: teacher and student relationship (The reader is between 19 and 25 years old and please don't get involved with your teachers) angst,fluff, smut (fingering, unprotected sex -Please use a condom- dirty talk)

Word count: 3342 (surely the most I have ever written)

N/A: Hey, many people were asking, so I brought you part two of dear teacher, I hope you like it.I am creating a taglist, message me if you want to be added 💖💖

Part 1

When Tom woke up on Saturday morning he was disappointed to realize that you were no longer there, for a moment he thought that maybe it had all been a dream or just his imagination playing with him, but something inside him knew that no, that the incident had really happened.

"Incident" was how Tom was referring to the whole of Friday night. It had been a bad idea, he knew, meeting you at that bar, inviting you to sit with him, kissing you, taking you to his apartment, and everything that happened after that. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help it.

MONDAY:

Tom was nervous. It was the first time he had seen her since Friday and he still didn't know how to handle it.

You walked into the auditorium that morning and it seemed that fate loved to play with you as the two of your gazes met almost instantly, he swallows dryly and you blush before quickly looking away and running to your seat at the back of the room.

"Good morning everyone" He says starting his class, everyone in the room answers him quickly.

"Good morning Mr. Holland" Cindy, one of your students, says cheerfully "Looks like you had a great weekend" she points to a small purple spot on your neck, all the students start laughing as soon as she notices it. You sink into your chair, wanting to hide, mortified with embarrassment, remembering very well that you made that mark on Tom who was blushing in front of everyone's eyes.

"Anyway" he huffs loudly taking the students' attention back to class "I've corrected your Brontë sisters' papers, I'm happy to say that we got very good grades, but only one got a top grade, I'll give it back to you Wednesday" he says before continuing his lesson.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

The class passes slowly, like torture for both of them, they just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. They needed to talk about what they had done, but they were more than happy not to do that today.

"That's all for today, remember to turn in your next paper on Monday and get ready for the debate next month, see you all on Wednesday" he says to everyone as his class ends. Slowly the room starts to empty, but you can't get out as a hand grabs your wrist making you turn to see who it was.

"Y/N" Mike, the boy who had missed your date on Friday was standing there holding your hand "I just wanted to apologize again for not coming on Friday, I didn't mean to ruin your weekend kitten" he apologizes.

"It's okay, really, you didn't ruin my weekend" you answer politely.

"If you want" he says getting closer to you "We can reschedule, I promise I won't cancel this time" he gives you a conquering smile.

Tom settles back in his chair, moving his hands nervously across his lap. He didn't want to hear your conversation, but as soon as he heard no names being called he started to pay attention, he had no right to be jealous, you weren't his girl, but he hoped you wouldn't accept it, you deserved much better than that boy in front of you.

"Mike, I'm sorry, but I can't accept it" You say, trying to be polite and pulling away from him a little.

"Just a date kitten" Tom rolls his eyes from where he was sitting, did he not understand what no was?

"We better just be friends" you dismiss yourself before leaving the room.

"Girls" the idiot says before leaving the room.

TUESDAY:

Thomas only saw you once that day, talking to your friends in the hallways.

He felt your gaze on him, which made his heart beat faster, and when he returned your gaze you looked away, blushing at having been caught in the act.

As he lay in his bed that night, the memories came back, he was beginning to hate it. Avoidance and being avoided, the two of them should talk about what happened instead of pretending not to and acting like children.

WEDNESDAY:

You were pacing back and forth in the hallway, debating with yourself, trying to decide whether or not to go into that office.

This morning, as Tom walked around the room handing out corrected papers to his students, he left his paper on your desk whispering a congratulations before moving on to the next student. You saw the top grade written on the first page and a little yellow post-it note placed there saying "Meet me in my office at 18:00, please".

It was still 17:50, you could still get away from there and that conversation, but you didn't want to, as nervous as you were you knew what you needed to do. You knock on the door and open it just as you hear a "come in" coming from inside.

"You came" he says getting up from his chair and gives you a shy smile.

"You asked..."

"I didn't think you would actually come."

"I think we really should talk Mr. Holland" you says nervously looking down at her own feet so she doesn't have to face him.

"Mister Holland?" He asks "I thought i asked to call me Tom"

"I can't do that"

"I understand" His voice, there was something different in it, hurt perhaps.

A silence fills the room for a few minutes before he begins to speak.

"I'm sorry about Friday."

"Why are you apologizing?" You asks without understanding.

"I just...thought you..." He sighs walking over to stand in front of your desk, only a few steps away from you.

"I don't regret what we did" You speak as soon as you realize where your speech was going.

"No?" He finally looks directly at you.

"No, my God, I loved every part of that night" a small smile appears on his lips which fades soon after as you continue to speak "But that doesn't mean it wasn't wrong, we shouldn't have let it get to that point".

"I know it wasn't, I know...it was so wrong"

For some reason it was painful to be in that room without being able to touch him again.

"I really wish I wasn't your teacher" he walks towards you "To have met you at another time, maybe then I could have had you to myself, take you out without fear of anyone seeing us, hold your hand, kiss you" His hand caresses your face and you close your eyes leaning in to feel his touch more "I wanted so much Y/N, I wanted to make you my girl...I really like you"

"Thomas, I like you too..." You sigh, your heart aching with every word spoken "But sometimes liking isn't enough for two people to stay together."

"I know, and that's the part that hurts the most" He forehead rests against yours, both of you with your eyes closed, in-between sloshed breaths that were already mingling, Tom felt a tear run down his cheek, your mouths so close "Y/N..."

"Thomas..."

"Tom man, we are late, your brothers will kill us if we are late again" Someone says opening the door suddenly just as you and he are about to kiss. The two of you quickly walk away panting for breath trying to recover from the moment, Tom quickly wipes the tear from his face. A tall blond man that you had seen other times in the halls together with Tom looks at you not understanding anything.

"Am I interrupting something?" the blond man asks suspiciously.

"No" the two of you answer quickly.

"Harrison, this is my student, Y/N" Tom introduces the two of you, perhaps as a way to change the subject "Y/N, this is Harrison Osterfield, professor in the physics department and my best friend".

"It is a pleasure to meet you Miss Y/N" He extends his hand to greet her " I have heard Tom compliment you several times, always saying that you are the best student in your class".

"My pleasure Mr. Osterfield" you shake his hand "I think he is just exaggerating a lot, anyway, I better go, I don't want to get in the way anymore, bye" you take your things and leave the room leaving the two men alone there.

"Wait a moment" He say to Harrison before coming after you.

He holds your wrist and makes you look at him, honestly he almost didn't care anymore that the two of you were standing in the middle of the empty university hallway.

"Y/N please" he says.

"Please what?" you say hurt "Do you want me to stay here? To fight for a passion that is doomed to fail? Something that could end my life at this university or end your career?

"Don't talk like that, we can make it work" he says hurt.

"I wish I was brave enough to try, I swear I do" you let go of his hand "But I'm not, it was just one night stand sex and as much as I like you I know that the sooner we get over it and move on the better, for both of us" you turn and walk away, leaving Tom standing there alone in the hallway with his hurt.

THURSDAY:

Your heart was still hurting. Last night you collapsed on your knees as soon as you got to your dorm room and let the tears finally fall, you were lucky you didn't have a roommate so you could cry all day long without having to answer questions about why you were so bad. And you cried until your eyes hurt, screamed against your pillow until your throat burned, let the sadness leave your body until you finally gave in to tiredness and went to sleep.

Tom was no better off than you, he spent the whole dinner with your family quiet while everyone else at the table talked, he wished so much that he wasn't in love with you, he wished it really had only been one-night stands, maybe then he wouldn't feel like he could die at any moment if he didn't have you by his side.

In different places, but sharing the same pain.

FRIDAY:

Tom looked across the room at you, his eyes red and his expression sad, it looked like you had been crying all night, and you really had, he wanted to go over there and hug you and tell you that everything would be okay, but he couldn't.

If they had thought Monday's class had been torture, this was something worse. Tom gave his class trying to avoid looking in your direction, while you couldn't pay attention to anything that was being said, you just wanted to go back to your room and cry some more. It was the last class of the day so you ran to your room as soon as it was over.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

Tom was tapping his pen frantically on his desk, he should have been correcting his students' work but his mind was elsewhere and his head hurt like it was going to explode at any moment.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on?" Harrison asks, he was with Tom in his office and was starting to get irritated with his best friend.

"What?" Tom asks waking up from his thoughts.

"Tom you've been acting weird all fucking week, you spent the entire Wednesday dinner quiet a thing you don't often do."

"I don't know what you are talking about" he pretends to be paying attention to the papers in front of him.

"Does it have anything to do with that girl who was here?" he asks curious, Tom doesn't answer which only confirms Harrison's thoughts "Oh my god, it has everything to do with her doesn't it?".

"I really don't want to talk about it"

"You like her, that's why you're all emotional, because you can't be with her" Harrison speaks and Tom wonders when did his best friend get so good at unraveling his feelings.

"I had sex with her on Friday" Tom admits at once, his friend had already figured out pretty much everything so there was no reason to keep secrets anymore.

"WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME THAT?" he practically shouts.

"Can you keep it down please, you're acting like a teenager, we passed that stage a long time ago and I don't want the whole campus to find out."

"I'm not the one acting like a teenager, you are, getting all angry and quiet over something that can easily be resolved" Harrison rolls his eyes as he states the obvious.

"She doesn't want me Harrison, she likes me, but she doesn't want me, she's scared and I can't judge her because I am too, this could destroy my teaching career and end her reputation here"

"Tom, isn't she one of the students graduating this year?" Harrison asked even though he already knew the answer.

"Yeah"

"Dude, she's graduating in less than 5 months and you're telling me that the two of you can't keep this relationship a secret for 5 months?"

"I..." Tom hadn't stopped to think about it.

"I'm sure you two can make it work."

"What if she's not willing to try?"

"You should at least try, Holland, go out there and fight for your girl" He encourages his friend.

"I think you are right, I will do it".

"Of course I'm right" He smiles smugly "Anyway, I don't want to have to put up with your sadness any longer" He says laughing.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

It was almost midnight when you hear someone knocking on your dormitory door, you get out of bed and go to open the door.

"Thomas what are you doing here?" You ask as you see him standing outside, he walks into your dorm still without giving any explanation, you close the door and turn to see him "What kind of idiotic idea is this to come to my dorm, someone could see you here, how would we explain this?" You ask in an agitated manner.

Tom doesn't answer at first, he just looks at you, the baggy sweatshirt too big for your body, the hair tied back with a few strands falling in front of your face and the glasses on the end of your nose, and he can't resist. He walks toward you and kisses you, holding your face between his hands, his hands against your chest as you respond to his kiss, his heart beating hard in his chest and the sense of relief that he is kissing you again after what seems like the longest week of his life.

"I'm sorry" he says pulling away "I didn't come to do this, I just wanted to talk and..."

"It's okay" he fixes his glasses on his face.

"Y/N, I really like you, this is so stupid, I just... I want to try this, it's only five months until you graduate, we can make it...

"Tom" you try to interrupt him but he keeps talking non-stop.

"...to do this, I'm sure it wouldn't be easy at first and it's not the kind of relationship that's ideal or the relationship that someone like you deserves..."

"Tom" calls him again.

"But I'm willing to try, for you, for us, I want to try..." You kiss him again making him stop talking.

"I'm willing to try Tom" you say between kisses and he smiles "For us"

"I didn't think you would accept, I was already preparing myself for a no" you both laugh.

He sits down on your bed and pulls you to sit on his lap with each leg on one side of your body, he takes the glasses off your face and places them on your desk before kissing you.

"Damn, I missed that" he sighs between the kiss.

"It's literally only been a week" you say smiling.

"Really? It's felt like forever" he kisses you more intensely this time, his hands gripping your hips tightly making you move over his lap, the kisses slide down your face to your neck, you throw your head back.

"Tom" you say his name as a plea, his hands slide up your thigh squeezing you firmly.

"What do you want princess?" He asks with his head in the curve of your neck before leaving a small bite in that region.

"You, Thomas, I need you" you slowly roll over in his lap feeling his already hard length under you "please".

He smiles smugly at your response. Your sweatshirt is removed leaving you in just your panties and Tom lays you down on your bed placing his body on top of yours .

"This has been the most torturous week of my life" he removes the rest of his clothes and throws them on the floor "I couldn't get you out of my mind" he leaves a kiss on her neck exactly where he had "I thought about how I wanted to feel you again" the kisses descend to the top of her breasts and one of his hands grab her thigh wrapping her leg around his waist while the other goes down to her intimacy pulling her panties apart just enough for two fingers to touch them "That pussy is so wet, all this for me honey? "

"Yes, all for you Tom" he smiles at her answer before penetrating her with his fingers causing a quiet moan to come from her lips.

"Good girl."

"Your girl" you sigh ecstatic with pleasure.

"Fuck" Tom kisses you again, your words making him even harder than he already was "Say that again " he thrusts his fingers inside you reaching that wonderful spot inside you.

"I.Am.Your.Girl."

"My girl."

He had barely started and you were already so close, but he doesn't let you get there, teases you to the edge before stopping and doing it all over again.

"Please stop teasing me, I'm so close" you beg.

"No princess, I want you to cum around my dick" He says pulling his fingers out of you and removing your panties before turning you both over on the bed making you stand on top, he sits against the headboard as you rest your hands on his shoulders "now ride me like the good girl I know you are".

You sit on his member feeling him fill you completely, you both moan the moment you are finally together, standing still for a moment to get used to his size. Moving slowly until you finally get into a rhythm.

"So so good" he moans, his hand gripping her throat the way he remembered he had made her go crazy last time "So beautiful riding my dick" his other hand leaves a slap on her ass making her moan his name out loud as she throws her head, back rolling over in his lap .

"Tom I'm so close" you say as he gives you a push with his hips making his cock hit your G-spot, his hand making circular motions against your clit this time.

"Come to me then baby" he says and with a few more movements you are enjoying his wrist making you come next, your head falls on his shoulder and he spreads kisses down your neck as you recover from your recent orgasm.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

You were wearing your shirt now, your head lying on his chest as he stroked your hair.

"You'll still be here when I wake up, right?

"Well this is my dorm so I can't leave" you say as a joke.

"I'm serious Y/N" he says laughing.

"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere" you smile fondly returning to lie on his chest closing your eyes almost falling asleep with his affection.

"Good, I don't want you to leave, I want you forever" he kisses the top of your head before falling asleep with you in his arms, no goodbyes this time.

#tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland smut #tom holland x you

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rogue-durin-16 · 3 years

Text

THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part VII/VII)

"apart"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

George Weasley: @meph1stophelian

Things never go as planned: @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @sunshineandshadows @missmulti @accioweaslcy @andreaareynoso @georgeweasley16 @dianarte @skarlettmikaelson

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality

Warnings: language (?) Angst

A/N: P L E A S E DON'T MURDER ME YET THERE'S AN EPILOGUE OKAY?! OKAY now enjoy <3

Prologue: the aftermath

Part I: sleepless nights

Part II: candy floss

Part III: shock therapy

Part VI: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VI: the downfall

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

Since the Amortentia incident, Y/n had barely looked at me; not in the way I had avoided her after New Year, though, this time, it was different. She didn't seem to be doing it accidentally, rather than on purpose; she appeared to be too lost into her turmoil of thoughts to realise what she was doing, which scared me more.

I had figured the Amortentia would have had something to do with it, but it took me two days to pick up on it.

Undoubtedly, Y/n had smelled Fred's scent on it, and it dawned on her how twisted what we were doing was.

I cried myself to sleep the night that my mind stumbled upon that information. I let myself sob violently, pouring out as much pain as I could, wanting to wash away the recurrent thoughts that creeped on my mind, thoughts that were not unfounded.

That was it— I had lost both a friend and the woman I loved.

Once the tears seem to die out, a new thought appeared in my mind; maybe I was meant to be alone. I could barely function alone, how was I supposed to function with another person?

Perhaps I had always be meant to be alone.

I was going to be alone forever.

I was alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

It took my careless arse a hot minute to be aware of how obvious my emotional rollercoaster was from the outside; George had been getting visibly upset by it —I'd dare to reckon he even cried the past night because of it—, and I had to stop that, but how?

I knew it was always best to tell the truth, but where would that take us? Nowhere good. I couldn't just tell George I was in love with him and expect us not to fall apart even harder.

He would think I'm lying, or that I'm using him as a second option —I couldn't let him think that—, but again, his mind had probably gone to those thoughts due to my radio silence.

I had to tell him the truth, and face the consequences.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of our front door's lock opening snapped me out of my own mind, and even made me jump a bit in the couch I sat. I had been waiting for George to arrive for a good couple of hours, weighing on how I could approach the topic, but I didn't seem to come up with anything remotely good.

He stepped into the flat with his eyes casted down, so it took him a moment to acknowledge my presence. "I—" his now dull eyes observed me with confusion, as if he wasn't expecting to see me in my own flat. "what are you doing awake?"

"Waiting for you." He closed the door, scrutinising me with furrowed brows. "I— well—" I cleared my throat and got up, causing his shoulders to tense up. "I wanted to tell you something."

I thought I would have to fight his childish behavior and convince him not to dodge the subject, but he only leaned on the door, his hands behind his back and his eyes casted down. "I... I wanted to tell you something too."

"You go first." I prompted him, planning on using those extra seconds to mentally prepare myself for what I was about to say —as if I hadn't been trying to mentally prepare myself for two hours already.

He peeked at me and sighed, his eyes coming back to his shoes before speaking. "I don't know how to say this— I" he pursed his lips and I could see the struggle irradiating from him. "I think you should move out." Now I knew why he refused to meet my gaze. "We— we need time away y'know— Fleur offered to help you look for an apartment. I'll go back to the Burrow until you find one— and I'm not firing you but I would appreciate if you didn't attend the clients if I'm there."

I should have spoken first, I scolded myself.

"Why?"

"What why?"

"Why you should've spoken first?"

"I— well, so you see," I tugged on my sleeves; it was my turn to avoid his look. "W-when I spilled the Amortentia— well I— I smelled—"

"I know."

"You... Do?"

"Yeah, that's... That's why I think we need some time away."

I had never in my life had my heart shattered in so many pieces in such a short span of time. The pain was so immense that I wasn't able to shed a single tear. Out of every outcome, this was the least expected.

"O-okay." We kept sneaking glances at each other in a dreadful silence until our eyes accidentally met. "I think—"

"I should—"

Another best of silence fell among us after we simultaneously spoke.

"I should go pick some things up." He muttered, passing by my side as fast as he could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning I caught him, as I expected, sneaking out of the flat with one of the bags he had carried in months ago.

He was already exiting when I jogged out of my room, managing to catch his hand.

I could see the goosebumps in his arm, and I thanked Merlin he couldn't hear my heart threatening to leaving my chest to go with him.

"I'm really sorry, George." I whispered, squeezing his hand. Although I had a tiny bit of hope that he would change his mind and step back into our home if I said those words, it was more of a goodbye.

He just shook his head, letting me know there was no need for an apology, and squeezed my hand back before pulling away.

His fingers slipping away from mines was such an emptying feeling, as if my connection with him slept away from my grasp forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went to sleep that night hoping George's parting would have been a nightmare, and I cried the morning after when my brain took in that it was, in fact, very much real.

A heavily pregnant Fleur showed up that afternoon; she made me dinner and tried to cheer me up a little before making me get dressed so she could drag me out to look for flats in the Diagon Alley. It was an unsuccessful trip, but the Triwizard Tournament Champion wasn't about to give up so easily, so she came the next day, and the following, and on and on for a week.

As if summoned by the woman's will to find me a new home, we found a cheap, acceptable apartment near the shop.

I purchased it instantly, and soon enough I was moving out my things with Bill's help, to stop his wife from helping me herself.

"That's the last one, right?" Bill questioned, nodding at the bag laying on the couch with a box in his hands.

"Yup." I pulled it up and hung it on my shoulder.

"Need anything else?" I shook my head no. "Alright then I'll leave this at your place and apparate back home." He hesitated for a moment before adding, "I know it's none of my business but... Whatever happened between you two— it's fixable, believe me."

"I really don't think so." I muttered, gripping the bag's strap.

"It is," he repeated, adjusting the box in his arms. "just don't give up." He gave me a small, reassuring smile and disapparated.

Maybe he was right, maybe it was fixable. Taking a look around the now emptier apartment, I thought it surely didn't seem like it, but hope is the last thing you lose, right?

In a final attempt of getting him back, I grabbed a notebook from the bag and teared a page off it; I left the bag besides me as I knelt down and reached for a pencil forgotten over the coffee table.

Three Days Later

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

I entered the apartment— it was quiet, similar to a cemetery, just like the first time I stepped on the apartment after the war.

This time, it was empty, though.

Y/n didn't rush to the door when I opened it.

She didn't catch me when I fell on my knees and broke down to tears.

I was alone.

After Godric knows how long I managed to get myself back to my feet. I passed Y/n's old room as fast as I had first passed Fred's room months ago.

Once I got to my room and lay down on my bed, my mind cleared up enough for me to realise that I would be seeing Y/n the next day —at least once— at the shop.

"Fuck." I muttered, burying my face on my pillow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

He had asked me not to leave the office while he was in the shop.

He had explicitly asked me not to, but I needed to know if he had read my letter— no, I need to know if I had taken a step in the right direction by writing the letter.

So there I was, descending the stairs in his direction, and taking my time to do so since he was talking with a couple of clients.

"Y/n!" Verity rushed to me with what seemed a defective portable swamp. "I need your help with this," My eyes, still on George, caught the way his head snapped in my direction with sheer fear on it. "I've got a woman there threatening with suing us because the swamp send one of her children to St. Mungo!" The girl managed to get my attention with her anxious rambling.

"She can't do that." George, who had probably caught on Verity's words, spoke before I could. "She agreed on our shop policy." He reminded her, walking to stand by my side.

"I already told her that Mister Weasley, but she said she's 'not taking the words of a pipsqueak'." She replied in a whisper.

"She said what?" George questioned in disbelief.

"I'm gonna shove that lawsuit up her arse." I spoke, spotting the completely out of place middle aged woman who stood in front of Verity's till. "Send her to the office." Verity looked at me and then at George for confirmation, who simply gave her a nod.

Once Verity left, I turned to the ginger, whose warm eyes were already fixed on me. "How are you?" He inquired in a way that let me see it was out of politeness, which made my hopes die a little.

"Been better." I replied, ready to somehow test the waters. "How about you?"

"Same, I suppose." George didn't even try to put on a happy face, and I started to get anxious; there was no way he would have missed the note —I left it on the kitchen table— so that meant he had read it and- "You should go back to the office."

My heart attempted to hold onto the possibility of him not having read the note, but my brain knew better than that. "Alright." I nodded and went back to my workplace; I would deal with that woman and after that, I would prepare a resignation letter.

George was right, we needed to be apart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't that bad, I lied to myself, sitting down on the sofa while undoing the tie's knot.

My mind was about to begin the overthinking of Y/n's words when my stomach growled. Without noticing, I had gone without a single meal for the entire day.

I listened to my body and moved to the kitchen to prepare myself something. While the stove heated up, I turned around and took a look at the kitchen; just like the rest of the rooms, it seemed gloomier without Y/n lighting up the apartment.

Stop thinking about her.

My eyes landed on a piece of paper with one of Y/n's rings over it. Before properly realising it, I was sitting down on one of the chairs and reading what had been written in the scrapped page.

Dear George,

I know what happened is on both of us, but I can't help but blame myself, as selfish as it might sound.

You don't know this, but while at Hogwarts, I found you and Fred rather annoying— I didn't understand why everyone seemed to fancy you so much. Then, you hired me to work in this amazing shop, and I understood.

During these past two years I had the pleasure and honour to call you my friend; you made my life much better, I'd like to think I did the same.

I wanted to apologise for everything I've done since New Year. I'm so very sorry for falling in love with you. Though it was something so easy to happen, I never thought it would go this far.

I don't know what is this letter (a proper goodbye? I don't know), but I want need you to know that I never wanted to harm you nor our friendship, and that I'm still going to be here for you, feelings aside.

Love,

Y/n.

I re-read the fourth paragraph at least five times before taking it in.

She had fallen in love with me.

That's what she had meant to say when she spoke to me about the Amortentia— that she had smelled my scent— Oh no.

My reply— she probably thought it was unrequited; she probably thought I had kicked her out because she was in love with me and not quite the opposite.

Without thinking twice, I ran down to the office with the letter clutched in my hand; she had to be there, she was always the last one to leave.

She had to be there.

I was so focused on reaching the office on time that I missed Y/b's figure exiting the shop.

I slammed the door open, just to find the table's surface, which used to be full of Y/n's things, clean in its entirety, aside from an envelope which had written on it 'resignation'.

"No."

READER'S P. O. V.

I had just left the small box with my things over the coffee table, and was taking off my shoes when an apparition noise followed by a couple of bangs on my front door made me jolt.

Out of a sad habit I, among the rest of the Order, had gotten during the war, I grabbed my wand and approached the door.

My arm fell limply on my side while I stared into George's eyes, which seemed to hold back a storm of mixed emotions.

"C-can we talk?" My gaze then fell on the paper his hand was gripping, and that I assumed was my resignation.

"George, listen, I can't—"

"I'm in love with you."

Words had stumbled out of his mouth in panic, and the only thing I could reply was, "What?"

#george weasley headcanon #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley fanfic #george weasley x you #george weasley x reader angst #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x ravenclaw!reader #george weasley x hufflepuff!reader #george weasley x gryffindor!reader #george weasley x slytherin!reader #george weasley smut #george x reader smut #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction #things never go as planned

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jtrokujo · 3 years

Text

𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

paring: Semi Eita x fem!Reader

word count: 1.9k

warnings: none

gerne: fluff, romance

summary: In the happy relationship, which did not have a good start, the couple gets ready for a date, but how it ends was different than expected.

—

In the back row I saw my friend's playmates, because today the Shiratorizawa were playing against the Karasuno.

I have to admit that even though I know the people on the Karasuno team, I still have no impression of the players.

But they seem to be nice people and the orange haired one doesn't seem to be a problem for almost any volleyball player until they meet him.

The team has an advantage for being able to jump pretty fast and high, but my gut feeling still tells me that the Shiratorizawa will win tonight.

When Semi scored a point, the students in our school stood tall and cheered loudly.

Just like her I cheered loudly and clapped for the team, to be honest I had to laugh a bit like lost Semi looked up just to see me, the reason I'm sitting in the back is very simple: I forgot.

I had an appointment with a friend, but when she reminded me we left quickly.

I can be a great friend sometimes.

However, I have to remember how much I hated Semi, no, seriously, the way he was.

He gave me the cold shoulder, treated me like dirt and when we were supposed to do partner work together, I wanted to jump out of the window.

Marked me as a bitch and didn't even do half of our delivered work on the grounds: "If you can talk so much, you can certainly do so much work too."

But it was only through this group work that we got close.

You could tell that no matter how callous he seemed towards you, he really cares about his friends and comrades.

My feelings towards him only came after our group work was finished, but shortly before that he seemed different to me too, almost nice.

He kept me and my friends company, which was a bit strange, but you get used to it quickly.

After that time we went to school together, I accompanied him to the sports hall and sometimes even was there because we often had an appointment after his training.

I always didn't care how I looked before, because he seems to accept me as a person as I am, it's nice to know that there is still someone in this world who is interested in you as a person.

I still remember our first date when we had a little bike ride through the city, the bruises and the sore muscles hurt, but everything has its price.

And besides, I wasn't the only one who fell off my bike about 5 times.

Back in the present, I saw that the last sentence was almost over, whoever got the last point won.

Restricting my fingers and looking at the players on the field, I saw that the number 3 still managed to prevent the ball from landing on the field.

That was close, but the ball was so high that Hinata herself didn't know where it would land.

It is not slow, but it is not fast enough to be able to endure it either. It landed on their field, causing all of my classmates to jump and scream.

I got up and cheered my friend's team.

The gray / white-haired man looked helplessly through the crowd just to be able to see his girlfriend, but he didn't know that she was making her way to the entrance so that they could leave the sports hall together.

Several minutes have passed and (Y / N) 's cell phone rang, immediately she saw his name on it and accepted it "Where are you?" she heard his voice right away, she replied that she was in front of the entrance and asked him where he was.

The friend in turn said that he would be there in a few minutes.

Said and done in less than 3 minutes, she saw her boyfriend, Semi.

Slowly she walks up to him and hugged him and said to his ear "Congratulations on your victory."

He looked at her lovingly and hugged her again, this time a little tighter.

In the middle of nowhere, someone kept us and our embrace company.

Semi and I quickly broke out of our embrace and saw his red-haired friend, Tendo.

"Come on, all things are 3." he sighed in disappointment, which made him lightly hit his red head by Semi.

Painfully he rubbed himself on the injured area and greeted me "Hey (Y / N) ... your neck has gotten longer."

Faster than lightning, Semi hit him a little harder.

Tendo held his head protectively and kept repeating "It's okay, I'll stop!"

After the two volleyball players had calmed down, Tendo asked us if we wanted to do something together, I nodded and answered his question.

At the same time, Semi stares at his cell phone and said that we have to go, we quickly said goodbye to Tendo and made our way to where we want to spend our date.

There was silence between us on the way, but that's nothing to complain about, no, on the contrary.

Apart from the different dates, we often spend a quiet togetherness.

I know where this silence came from, or how this silence became part of our relationship, but I know one thing, no matter where I may be, as long as Semi is by my side, there is nothing Semi nor I can complain about.

But as much as I want to have a conversation with him, I have to think about the fact where we want to spend our date.

It was Semi's suggestion and I agreed without hesitation.

Of course, I don't mind if Semi decides where we want to spend our date, but I also care where we spend it.

Ice scating.

That I don't like it comes out of the question, but I have to admit that I've never done it, we recently went to a water park even though Semi wasn't a big fan of it, but he said "As long as you're by my side , everything is perfect. ", so it would be a little shit of me to say that I don't want it.

I know he would have offered me to stay the night or something else, but he said he had a surprise for me.

"(Y / N), is something wrong?"

My friend looked at me in amazement and squeezed my hand a little tighter.

"No, it's okay. I was just thinking." I tried to calm him down.

Still, Semi was a bit persistent and asked again what was going on.

"It's just, I've never skated before, so I'm afraid that I might get injured or even hurt."

Out of nowhere my friend giggled, causing me to stare in amazement. "Since when have you been so soft?" his arm was on my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. "What does that mean?" I asked him in amazement.

"Do you remember our first meeting, that's all I want to say." answer Semi and took my hand.

TIME SKIP

"Well finally." I sigh, relieved, but the fact where we are leaves me with a strange tingling sensation in my stomach.

But as long as I have Semi by my side, I shouldn't be worried.

"Let's go?" Semi asked me, I answered bluntly with a nod and hold his hand a little tighter than before.

When I finished tying the laces together I wondered why I was so scared.

"(Y / N), do we want?" asked Semi and looked me in the eye, his eyes shone something, what exactly I didn't know.

"Yes." I answered and tried to get up "Shall I not help you?" he asked immediately.

"No, no, it's okay, come on."

We saw a lot of people, some of them were parents with their children, some teenagers and some couples in love.

Caution, Semi and I kept them company. "Are you sure not to help them?" "I'm not a toddler, semi and besides, maybe there is some talent in me." I said confidently and immediately took his hand.

Hand in hand we made several rounds together, but I would have fallen down several times if he hadn't had such a reflex.

I admired a couple who fascinated me, it looked like they would have been able to do it several years ago, but he doesn't know the saying "Practice makes perfect".

The boyfriend noticed that his girlfriend was paying him no attention when he was talking to her.

He looked in the direction and saw a couple, but since he didn't want to come across diagonally, he gently pulled his friend's hand and continued what they stopped before.

Less than a minute later, his girlfriend said with enthusiasm, "Shall we try it together ?!"

He looked at his girlfriend diagonally and answered her question with "I don't want to end up in the hospital."

She hit him lightly on his stomach and this time said a bit irritably "Don't think so badly. I can certainly do it and now we're going to show the others what the volleyball player from Shiratorizawa and his girlfriend can do."

As much as the volleyball player would like to deny it, he has to admit that he is afraid.

But not only for himself, but also for his girlfriend.

Sighing, he gave up and asked his girlfriend what she would like to try with him.

"I run, so to speak, towards you and then you catch me and turn me up in the air."

"(Y / N) what that 'Dirty Dancing'? Semi asked a little disgusted and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, if you put it that way ... yes of course. You only live once and no contradiction!"

In the positions (Y / N) started to 'run' towards her boyfriend, Semi was able to catch her in time, but unfortunately he lost his balance too quickly, which is why he and his girlfriend landed rudely on the ground.

The small crowd immediately helped the couple, but (Y / N) quickly lost consciousness.

TIME SKIP

In the white room the friend emptied his water-filled glass while the cold raindrops hit the large pane.

When he was about to try to get up, his left slightly broken foot stopped him and sat down again in vain.

Lost in thought, he was staring at us nothing.

"Semi?" his girlfriend asked tiredly.

"(Y / N)!" relieved that his girlfriend is awake again, he hugged her the next second.

She asks immediately where she is, Semi answered all the questions one by one and said that they can go back home after a little examination.

After the little examination, the couple was allowed to go back home, the parents and their girlfriends are standing in front of the hospital with their respective cars and immediately rushed up to the couple and hugged them.

When he arrived at his girlfriend's home, they lay down on the bed and fell asleep in just a few minutes.

The next day the sun shone out of the window, which woke the couple, Semi moans annoyed and covered his face with the blanket of his girlfriend.

However, she quickly landed on the ground.

Slowly he opened his eyes and saw his girlfriend "Get up it's 11 o'clock."

Together in the kitchen he sees the finished breakfast on the table. "You ... you did that?"

Annoyed, she looked at him and muttered "Yes, I did that and now eat."

"Yes ok thanks."

As they finished the meal (Y / N) started talking out of nowhere.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" he said, looking down at his girlfriend.

"You know about your ankle.

Now you won't be able to play volleyball for a while. "

Semi took his girlfriend's hand on his and said, "As long as you're okay, I don't care about anything in the world. Please know that, (Y / N)."

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dimigex · 2 years

Text

I posted 914 times in 2021

130 posts created (14%)

784 posts reblogged (86%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 6.0 posts.

I added 546 tags in 2021

#queue it up - 137 posts

#naruto - 121 posts

#kakasaku - 63 posts

#omg - 43 posts

#kakashi - 41 posts

#sakura - 35 posts

#hahaha - 28 posts

#dimi answers - 27 posts

#overwatch - 26 posts

#healing hands - 25 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#or . . .alternatively . . you could send me a pairing and a number for this list and i'll let my muse run with it

My Top Posts in 2021

New Altered Reality Chapter!

A03 / FF

I think it’s been like . . two years since I updated this story XD oops. The story is linked at the top if you want the full chapter and/or story. This is only a portion of the new chapter because it’s over 6k words

"Why don't you go train for a little while? It might take your mind off things." Rin made the suggestion as gentle as possible, ignoring the frustration that seethed just beneath the surface of her calm. She wanted the apartment to herself for a few hours and desperately needed Kakashi to stop fussing over her. Then, she'd be able to relax the way that she was supposed to. The man's constant attention put her on edge.

Since the doctor's appointment four days ago, Kakashi had been acting like a brooding hen. When Rin stood up to get her book from the bedroom, he'd jumped to his feet and offered to go instead. He didn't want her standing long enough to cook or clean, so he'd taken over those duties as well. While Kakashi was decent in the kitchen, he'd kept everything bland and refused to add any salt to the dishes. If the man mentioned her blood pressure one more time, Rin was fairly certain that hers would rise to dangerous levels when she yelled at him.

At Rin's words, Kakashi glanced up from the book in his lap. The man's brow furrowed as he marked his place with a finger. "What if you need something while I'm gone?"

"Then, I'll get it myself," Rin answered. She moderated her tone to placating rather than annoyed. It was more difficult than she expected. "I'm hardly an invalid, you know?"

"The doctor said you needed rest." Kakashi argued for the umpteenth time, as if Rin had forgotten it, as if he would give her a chance to forget it.

Rin held up her hand to stop Kakashi's next arguments before they could form. Slowly, she counted to five under her breath. The idea of laying in bed or on the couch for even one minute longer made her physically ill. She had done everything that she was supposed to: drinking glass after glass of water to keep herself hydrated, keeping the lights dim and the room quiet, resting on her left side whenever possible. There had been a dozen tiny things that might make a difference, or might not.

While that scenario would sound like a dream for some women, to Rin, it was a nightmare. She missed the days when training and missions kept her mind and body racing. When she was in the village, Rin kept herself busy wherever the hospital needed an extra set of hands. She hadn't chosen her specialization yet, but she was leaning toward pediatrics. Most medical nin worked in triage and emergencies, but there were plenty of quiet days as well. Rin liked the idea of helping children feel better rather than focusing on battle injuries.

Rin realized that her mind had drifted from the topic at hand and brought her eyes back to Kakashi. She couldn't help but appreciate the changes in her husband in the past few days, even when they annoyed her. In some ways, he was more like himself and others, he was totally different. Rin could manage the symptoms of her pregnancy; she'd done that when morning sickness left her more or less living on the bathroom floor for two months. But, she couldn't handle the hovering worry that radiated off of Kakashi.

"Why don't you go see if Minato has an update on your team?" Rin suggested, pushing into a sitting position.

Apprehension entered Kakashi's eyes. The man still hadn't been able to explain his nervousness over the chunin exams, no matter how much he tried. Rin almost felt bad for bringing up the memory, almost. Team Seven was the only distraction that could get Kakashi out of her hair for an hour or two. Sensing the man's wavering resolve, Rin pushed. "I'm just going to take a bath anyway. A cool one," Rin amended when Kakashi opened his mouth. He had been reading one of her many books about the dos and don't of pregnancy; Rin wished that she'd thrown them out once she finished.

"I'm sure he would have sent someone if there was news," Kakashi countered. His voice lacked its usual certainty, however. He wanted to know what was happening with his students as much as Rin wanted some time to breathe.

Rin nodded, running a hand through her hair. "Probably, but it would be good for you to get your mind off this mess." She gestured around the apartment. "Besides, if I need you, I can create a clone to find you. I still know how to do some things."

Over the past few months, Rin had been developing her chakra control. Once her pregnancy had been confirmed, she'd been removed from active duty. With missions off the table, she spent more time at the hospital. Even so, Rin was only permitted to assist with certain cases, so she spent her free time working through exercises that improved her control. Hopefully, that would allow her the freedom to study more medical ninjutsu after the baby was born. If she'd learned anything from being on a team with hotheaded Obito and reckless Kakashi, it was that a medic was always necessary.

"You promise you'll come find me if you need anything?" Kakashi's voice held a note of uncertainty that surprised Rin. When she nodded, he tucked a strip of cloth into the book on his lap and placed it on the table. "I won't be gone long, but maybe you're right. I'm sure there are rumors about teams finishing the second exam by now."

"Take your time," Rin offered, schooling her face to impassivity. If she looked hopeful at the free time, Kakashi would see the trap. He stood, stretching the stiff muscles in his back, then glanced in her direction. A slight frown appeared on his face.

He's debating whether or not to kiss me, Rin realized with a start. While Kakashi had changed significantly over the past few days, the hesitancy about displaying emotions with her remained. Honestly, it didn't bother Rin as much as his lost memories did. Kakashi had always been private and reserved with his affections. Deciding to meet him halfway, Rin caught his hand with hers and squeezed. Kakashi exhaled in relief.

"Go on," Rin prompted, dropping her fingers away. "I'll be good, I promise."

A smile tugged at the corners of Kakashi's mouth as he stepped closer. To Rin's surprise, he leaned in and pressed a warm kiss to her forehead. An unfamiliar explosion of heat washed through her chest at the gesture. "I'll bring dinner home," Kakashi continued, completely unaware of the effect he had on her. "Don't even think of trying to make it while I'm gone."

"Promise," Rin laughed, hoping that her smile disguised the fact that she had just been considering that very thing.

When the door shut behind Kakashi, Rin glanced at the calendar on the wall. She calculated how much longer she'd have to endure Kakashi's worrying before life could get back to normal. If everything went perfectly, they would meet their son in twelve weeks; Rin could hang on that long. She didn't have a choice.

When a brief knock sounded on the office door, Minato glanced up from the paperwork in his hand. Shikaku slipped through before he had time to answer, and Minato's heart leaped into his throat. "Has there been news?"

The second chunin exam was coming to a close, and there still hadn't been any word of Naruto's team. Minato knew that his son and his teammates were talented shinobi, but the exams were designed to be taxing. He'd seen just as many groups fail because of bad luck as poor skill. With the relative peace in the shinobi nations, fewer genin were advanced to the next rank. Minato agreed with the changes, but he could still remember all too well how quickly the ninja wars had started.

Shikaku shook his head as he shut the door behind him. "None about Team Seven."

Minato understood what the man wasn't saying; there were more important things to worry about than Naruto's advancement. Shikaku's son was also competing in the exams, he had to be wondering about the same things as Minato, but Shikaku remained detached. He stayed focused on the other matters that required his attention to keep the village running. Shikaku had been an excellent pick as Minato's second in command, and Minato didn't know what he would do without him most days.

Dipping his head in understanding, Minato pressed a thumb and forefinger against his eyes to stave off a headache. It had been a stressful week. When he wasn't torn between worries over Kakashi's memory and Naruto's performance, Minato had been dealing with chaos of having multiple villages together. There had been half a dozen fights to break up, tempers that needed soothing, and the exhaustion of hosting delegates. He cringed. "What is it this time? A broken nose over which kage is the strongest? Blood feud over the death of a distant relative? A comment taken the wrong way?"

"None of the above." Shikaku didn't crack a smile at Minato's attempted levity. Whatever he had come to say must be bad. Minato waited in silence. "I wasn't sure what to make of the report, so I brought it to you immediately. Someone made an attempt against the village barrier."

Minato shifted, mind flashing back to Kakashi's warning about Orochimaru. Even so, he forced himself to think logically rather than responding with a knee jerk reaction. "Did the Anbu tasked with that portion of the village find anything out of the ordinary? Which team was it?"

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37 notes • Posted 2021-03-12 14:18:37 GMT

Gestures (KakaSaku)

This is for @harunosakuraweek, Day One, Prompt: Hanami

Sakura rubbed her eyes and fought to focus on the words in front of her. She’d spent the entire day in her office, trying to catch up on paperwork that should have been completed days if not weeks ago. She could never find never enough time to finish everything, especially when she saw patients during the day.

Blinking away the bleariness, Sakura returned to the row of numbers that indicated shinobi fatalities over the past month. She compared it to the previous month’s tally, then studied the past six months as a whole. There had been an uptick in deaths the previous two months, possibly attributable to the change to spring. However, the annual view showed an upward trend as well, and that couldn’t be attributed to the weather. There had to be extenuating factors. Maybe it was tied to the rise in the immigrant population—

A knock at the door pulled Sakura’s attention from her work. She growled and tossed the report onto her desk with a clatter. When she called out, she didn’t even try to moderate her tone. “Yes?”

A familiar grey head peeked around the door, then Kakashi stepped through. His eyes creased into his ever present eye smile. “So, you are still alive down here after all.”

“Yes, and I’m busy,” Sakura snipped, her annoyance with paperwork bleeding through at the first person she’d seen all day. “Is there something I can help you with?”

Kakashi closed the door behind him before crossing the office. He nodded. “As a matter of fact, there is.”

When the man didn’t continue, Sakura raised one eyebrow in his direction. “Did I mention that I was busy?”

“You did.” Kakashi rested one hip against the edge of Sakura’s desk, crossing his arms over his chest. “But, it’s going to have to wait. Official order of the Hokage, I’m afraid.”

Sakura tapped her pen against the palm of her opposite hand and narrowed her eyes. “Kakashi, I don’t have time for one of your games today. This paperwork needed done weeks ago, and I—

“And, you’ve been locked in here all day. You need to get out,” Kakashi finished. He leveled his gaze at Sakura. “You still have to eat, don’t you? And, all of this will still be here when you get back.

“I’ll order takeout,” Sakura countered, turning her attention back to her paperwork.

Kakashi plucked the report from Sakura’s hands. “I’m afraid not.” He lifted the pages out of Sakura’s reach when she shot to her feet. “I’m serious. This is for your own good.”

Growling, Sakura launched herself toward Kakashi, but he danced out of reach. After three unsuccessful attempts, she huffed and glared up at his smug expression. “If I agree to dinner, will you let me get back to work after?”

“If you still want to, yes.” Kakashi lowered the report, leaving himself wide open to Sakura’s fist. She didn’t put any chakra behind the punch; she used just enough force to remind him that she could have. The air whooshing out of the man’s lungs was more pleasant than she’d anticipated.

“Don’t manipulate me again,” Sakura warned, taking the pages back from Kakashi’s hand. She set the report back on her desk and shook her head. She knew a losing battle when she saw one. She turned to Kakashi who still hadn’t spoken and raised one hand to his shoulder. “Too hard?”

The man shook his head, letting a tentative breath. When it didn’t hurt, Kakashi nodded. “Okay, point taken. Are you ready to go?”

Sighing, Sakura flipped off the light on her desk and gave her work one last glance before turning away. She followed Kakashi out of the hospital and down the street. They passed Ichiraku, Sakura’s favorite sushi restaurant, the Korean BBQ, then the Chinese place that they’d been meaning to try. When they continued past Kakashi’s apartment, Sakura frowned. “Where exactly are you taking me?”

“Do you trust me?” Kakashi didn’t turn back or wait for Sakura’s answer; he already knew it. They’d been dating for a few months now, so it wasn’t completely unusual for him to surprise her with things like this, but it was rare.

The pair cut through the village, moving between buildings until Sakura began to wonder if Kakashi had lost his mind. There were no restaurants this way. When Kakashi stopped, Sakura almost ran into his back. She opened her mouth to complain, then stopped short at the scene before them.

The last time that Sakura had walked past this park, it had been a drab expanse of green and brown with the occasional splash of. It had erupted in shades of pink and white that swayed on every breeze. Dozens of people filled the space, colorful blankets spread over the scant spring grass. Sakura gazed around in wonder before turning back to face Kakashi.

“I didn’t want you to miss it,’ the man offered by way of explanation. “You’ve been so busy lately, I didn’t think you’d noticed.”

Kakashi led Sakura through the crowd, wading deeper into the sea of blossoms. He paused near the largest tree where a red and white blanket covered the ground. A heavy basket held the fabric in place. Sakura’s eyebrows crept upward again. “How did you manage all of this?”

“Being Hokage has some perks.” Kakashi eye smiled again then settled on the blanket. He offered one hand as if Sakura weren’t perfectly capable of joining him. She took it anyway, feeling a flush of warmth course through her. Kakashi held her hand for a moment, then released it. “Honestly, Shikamaru did most of this, but the thought was mine.”

“That’s what counts,” Sakura said, finally realizing how special the day really was. She had been so busy with work that she’d almost missed her chance to see their cherry blossoms at their peak. She gazed up at the tree above them; the soft petals of pink and white scented the air. So much beauty would be wiped away in just a few days. It seemed like such a waste, but at the same time, she knew that she wouldn’t appreciate them if they were always available. For one week, they would exist in perfection, then they would disappear as if they’d never been.

Exhaling, Sakura turned to find Kakashi watching her with a tender expression. A flush crept up her cheeks. “Thank you for this.”

“Maa.” Kakashi waved away the sentiment and began digging food and drinks out of the picnic basket. “I know how much you enjoy the flower viewing, but you were so caught up in work. I thought it might be a nice surprise.”

Sakura nodded, unable to hide the color on her face. She imagined that she must look something like the flowers overhead in the various stages of pink and could only hope that Kakashi didn’t notice. Reaching out, she helped him remove containers of their favorite foods without speaking. Sakura hoped that her actions conveyed her appreciation in a way that words couldn’t.

For a few minutes, Sakura felt every eye drawn to them. While she and Kakashi hadn’t been secretive about their relationship, they didn’t openly advertise it either. This was a big step for Kakashi, to put their lives so much in the public eye. The flower viewing was always crowded, but after a few minutes people went back to their own conversations. Sakura felt the tension bleed out of her shoulders.

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46 notes • Posted 2021-03-28 02:51:49 GMT

Made with Love - Kakayama

For @vibgyoroygbiv lovely art that you can find here. I’ve been meaning to write this forever. Thank you for always sharing your amazing art with all of us! Just a day late for Valentine’s day.

Glancing at the clock from the corner of one eye, Tenzo tightened his hand into a fist then released the tension hoping to work some blood flow back into his tired fingers. He was nearly finished with his project, but it was almost time for Kakashi to be home as well. Tenzo frowned at the open book on the table beside him and reread the diagram for the hundredth time, trying to figure out what he’d done wrong. Huffing, he snipped out the stitches that he’d just done and started again.

When Tenzo finished, he eyed the plush toy in his hands. The head protector was longer on one side, and the eyes were a bit too close together. The felt that he’d found for the hair was more auburn than brown and stiffer than he’d wanted to use. He sighed, closed Learning to Sew for Dummies, and tucked it away in a drawer. Tenzo would take it back to the library tomorrow. It hadn’t been much help anyway.

Tenzo thought about the stuffed Kakashi that Sakura had gifted him a couple of months ago. Kakashi’s original jealousy had been adorable, but the man had eventually come around to appreciate the smaller version of himself, even liking it though he’d never admit as much. Tenzo routinely moved the plush around the apartment to surprise Kakashi, letting it get into all kinds of mischief. The man had laughed for days after they’d found Little Kakashi reading Icha, Icha on the couch one morning.

Everything had been going well until Kakashi decided that he needed a plush Yamato to match. Fifteen stores and a lot of frustration later, Kakashi gave up. He hadn’t liked Tenzo’s reasoning that Team Seven had been the heroes of the war so of course there were replicas to be found Yamato and Sai were insignificant afterthoughts compared to the founding members. Tenzo hadn’t meant anything by it and he didn’t feel any jealousy over the spotlight the four of them shared, but the words bothered Kakashi.

Kakashi’s disappointment had woken something in Tenzo, a desire to surprise the man in a way that he never had before. Now, looking at the imperfect miniature of himself, he wondered if he shouldn’t have taken another route. His creation looked nothing like the professional quality of the one Sakura had gotten him. It was obviously handmade, and the imperfections were glaring. Tenzo sighed and looked at the head protector again. The leaf had been giving him trouble, so he’d changed it to a heart instead. The entire thing looked so pathetic that he considered stuffing it in the drawer beside the book and--

The sound of a key in the lock pulled Tenzo from his thoughts. He glanced at the clock in shock, surprised that he’d spent so much time trying to perfect the final details. He swiped everything from the desk and dumped it into the open drawer, leaving the plush where it sat, slumped by the lamp. Tenzo hurried toward the door. Kakashi groaned as he stepped through the door, but his eyes brightened when they fell on his lover. “I thought you’d still be at work. Didn’t you have some reporting to finish up?”

“It didn’t take as long as I thought it would,” Tenzo offered, especially since I had Sai do most of it. But, Kakashi didn’t need to know that. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“Of course,” Kakashi answered, planting a light kiss on Tenzo’s cheek. He shook his head while taking off his sandals. “But, having you home early makes it a little hard to surprise you with Valentines dinner.”

Tenzo chuckled and inclined his head. “It’s difficult to surprise me with it, yes. But you can cook and do the dishes, and I’ll act surprised if you like.”

Laughing, Kakashi started toward the kitchen. Halfway across the room, he paused. “What’s Little Ka--” the man cut off mid-sentence and walked closer to the desk. He picked up the plush, eying the obvious brown hair where he’d expected silver. “What’s this?”

“I wanted to make you something, but turns out that I’m not very good at sewing.” Tenzo rubbed the back of his neck as a blush colored his cheeks. Kakashi didn’t answer, tracing his fingers over the hair then the heart on the headband. The heat in Tenzo’s face deepened toward crimson. “I thought I might be able to use it as a template for someone in the village to make a better one.”

“No,” Kakashi interrupted before the argument could fully form. “Don’t you dare think of letting someone else change him. He’s perfect.”

Tenzo laughed, shaking his head. “He’s far from it. You wouldn’t believe how difficult it was to do those pockets on the flak vest. That’s why the ones on the right are loose and--”

The words died when Kakashi half tackled Tenzo in a hug that pressed the plush between them. Before he could ask for an explanation, Kakashi’s mouth was against his in a kiss that made his excuses seem insignificant. The room spun when they broke apart. “He’s perfect,” Kakashi repeated against Tenzo’s lips, grey eyes surprisingly intent. ”And, you’re perfect.”

If Tenzo had blushed before, it was nothing compared to now. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he murmured.

Kakashi smiled and caught Tenzo’s hand. “Come on, let’s go introduce them to each other.” The man flashed a smirk over his shoulder, increasing Tenzo’s heart rate exponentially. “Then, I’m going to show you just how much I appreciate this, so we’ll probably want to cover their eyes.”

47 notes • Posted 2021-02-15 21:14:00 GMT

I Won’t Lie - Kakasaku

It’s finally done!! I started this piece years ago but never finished it. It’s the follow on to my story Distraction, but you don’t have to read that to understand it at all.

Distraction, I Won’t Lie, Part One, Part Two, Epilogue

Here’s the first part, the rest is linked above and also available on FF.

"So, have you put the moves on the Hokage yet," Ino questioned, applying black eyeliner with a practiced flip of her hand. Her aqua blue eyes stood out in sharp contrast, seeming larger than they had any right to.

Sakura groaned from the bed, falling back to cover her face. "I never intended to put the moves on him," she mumbled, hoping that Ino wouldn't be able to see the crimson flush of her cheeks. "And, it didn't work anyway. Kakashi doesn't know that I exist."

Ino jerked the pillow away and leveled her best friend with a stare. "He definitely knows that you exist, but you need to remind him that you're a woman now, not a little girl." Her gaze swept over Sakura from head to toe. "Why don't you put on something a little more interesting tonight?"

"What's wrong with what I have on?" Sakura frowned at her outfit. Okay, the leggings that she wore were more comfortable than provocative, and her mother would have approved of her shirt, but that didn't mean there was anything wrong with it. She always dressed like this when they went out. It wasn't her fault that Ino had more outfits than any other girl that Sakura knew, and an uncanny way of making everything look sexy.

"Nothing," Ino answered, with a smile curving her cherry-red lips. "As long as you want to die old and alone."

Sakura threw the remaining pillow at Ino's face, narrowly missing. "Shut up, Ino-pig," she grumbled, reverting to the insult that had become a friendly nickname over the past few years. Sakura tugged at her shirt for a moment, chewing her lip "If I agree, can you make it look like I'm not trying too hard?"

A grin split Ino's face. "Of course. We have to find just the right outfit to show off that body you worked so hard for."

Before Sakura could protest, the blond pulled her off of the bed and toward the closet. Nearly an hour later, Sakura examined her expression in the mirror, shocked at the illusion that Ino had created. Long lashes framed her green eyes, making them stand out against her pale skin. The faint dusting of freckles that Sakura usually hated had taken on a soft glow from the highlighter Ino used. Glossy lips completed the expression, in a shade lighter than Sakura ever thought she could pull off. Ino hadn't stopped there. She'd transformed Sakura's hair as well. The pale tresses piled on top of her head, falling in artful curls around her face.

Ino pulled Sakura from musing about how she looked like an entirely different person by tugging on the dress. The blond dragged the black fabric to the side, baring one shoulder. It draped Sakura's body, accentuating enough to suggest that she had more curves than she really did. Chuckling, Sakura pulled the fabric toward her knees. Ino slapped her hands away. "Stop that, it's supposed to be short."

"I can't wear this," Sakura complained even as she turned to admire herself from the side. It hugged her body in a way that none of her other outfits had.

Shaking her head, Ino walked over to the closet and tossed a pair of heels to Sakura. "You can, and you will. No one will be able to keep their eyes off you, especially not Kakashi."

Color flamed in Sakura's cheek, hidden somewhat by the makeup. "What if he isn't there?"

Ino's devious grin made Sakura nervous. "Then you'll go home with someone else. You look too damn good to go home alone tonight"

-------------------------------

When Ino and Sakura swept into the pub nearly half an hour late, dozens of heads swiveled in their direction. Ino linked an arm through Sakura's and pulled her into the room before she could back away in a fit of self-consciousness. Her gaze swept over the people gathered for Naruto's birthday, trying to ignore the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Kakashi wasn't there yet or not coming at all, everything they'd done had been a waste of time.

Forcing the hopelessness down, Sakura caught sight of an overbearing ball of sunshine cutting through the room. Naruto's grin probably had more to do with the atmosphere than alcohol, but she couldn't be sure. He threw an arm around Sakura's shoulder and pulled her into a side hug. "I was beginning to think nobody from my team was going to show up tonight."

When Naruto released Sakura, his blue eyes slipped lower than her neck. The blush on his whiskered cheeks was obvious even in the dim lighting. "You look nice tonight. I mean, not that you don't always look nice-" Sakura's laughter cut off the awkward exchange, and Naruto managed a nervous smile before rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't think Sasuke is going to make it tonight."

"Unfortunately, Sasuke's mission has him delayed outside the village." The proximity of Kakashi's voice made Sakura jump. When she turned, she realized that he stood just inside the doorway behind them. Their gazes locked, and Kakashi's eyes widened, perhaps only just now realizing that she'd been the one standing with Naruto. While pink hair was unusual in the village, a few girls had started imitating Sakura after the war. She hated it, but the element of surprise was nice.

Ino unwound her arm from Sakura's and moved away to speak to someone that Sakura didn't recognize. Completely oblivious of the tension of the moment, Naruto caught Kakashi with his other arm and pulled them both into a hug. Sakura felt the warmth of Kakashi's chest against her side. "I'm glad you two made it, at least."

Kakashi pulled away, chuckling in the back of his throat. "Of course I came, I have to keep an eye on you kids to make sure you don't get into any trouble."

"We aren't kids," Sakura grumbled, challenging Kakashi with a glare through her mascara lengthened lashes. "We're adults now."

"That's right, sensei. We don't have to listen to you anymore." Naruto laughed, giving Kakashi a cheeky grin.

Kakashi frowned, the barest movements of his mask. "I'm still Hokage, though."

"For now." Naruto's banter eased the conversation into playful jabs that allowed Sakura to stay silent. Kakashi hadn't even responded to her comment about being an adult now. Her heart sank lower in her chest.

As the men exchanged barbs, Ino reappeared from wherever she'd been. Grabbing Sakura's hand, she led them to the bar. "It's pointless," Sakura complained, leaning close so that the words would only be loud enough for Ino. "He'll always view me as a kid. I'd be better off chasing Sasuke."

"Absolutely not," Ino hissed, vehemence dripping from her voice as she raised a hand to order drinks. "Sasuke isn't even on the radar for you. Do not put yourself through that again."

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48 notes • Posted 2021-05-19 22:14:01 GMT

Get to know your mutuals

I was tagged by @cinlat get to know your mutuals!! when you get this, it means someone wants to know more about you, so list 5 things about yourself you want your followers to know. they can be as simple as your age or as complex as your deepest fear, as long as it’s something you’re comfortable with sharing. when you’re done, tag people you want to get to know better!! 🌼💕tagging: @bouncyirwin @adrilari @vibgyoroygbiv @birkastan2018 and anyone else who wants to share!

1) I love video games and always have. I played a ton of Mario and Zelda when I was younger, World of Warcraft, I’ve dabbled in final fantasy and SWtoR, I play entirely too much Overwatch. I main healer in Overwatch and complain so much that my husband threatened to turn my headset to open mic. My favorite is ‘I can’t heal stupid, but for some reason, I keep trying’ XD

2) When I was younger I used to ride and show horses (Saddleseat). We had trail horses as well. As such, it irritates me when horses are poorly written. If you know me much, you’ve probably heard me complain about this an excessive number of times.

3) When I first started watching Naruto, I was dead set against it. My husband started watching it first and I remember falling asleep and being so annoyed by ‘believe it!’ and ‘Narutooooo, Sasukkkkkke!’. And when he tried to get me to watch it, I said ‘I’m not watching some stupid show where they fly through the air, it doesn’t even follow the laws of physics!’ He got up to the chunin exams before convincing me to join, and because he wouldn’t leave me alone about it.’. I’m not ashamed to say that he was right.

4) A lot of people have told me that I’m intimidating and they don’t know how to approach me, which I don’t really get. Maybe it’s a resting bitch face? XD But I’m not nearly as scary as most people think. At least, I don’t think I am?

5) I’m a perfectionist. I get a lot of people that say my writing is polished, but what they don’t know is that I have a triple BA in English (Literature, Writing, and Journalism). Okay, technically I’m nine credits short due to life, but that’s another story. So, I’ve had a lot of writing training, plus I obsess over details. I write a work then read each paragraph and edit it, then I edit each paragraph backwards to catch other mistakes, then I read the paragraph once more, then I send my work off to be beta read, then I read and edit the whole thing again when it comes back. If you’re wondering why it takes me so long to put out chapters, that is why. The big secret? I wish I cared less about my works and let them go when they were good enough instead of obsessing over word choices.

74 notes • Posted 2021-04-15 03:27:36 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

4 notes · View notes

hannie-dul-set · 4 years

Text

your face lit up upon seeing the message on your phone. despite your objections, jaehyun had insisted on picking you up and taking you home today (you had told him that if he were to drop you off after your date later, it'd take him almost an hour to get back home. to which he responded with "it's okay as long as i'd get to spend more time with you" which resulted in you nearly dropping your phone). after giving yourself one last check-up in front the mirror, you had finally opted to go downstairs.

now, seeing jaehyun in the usual suit and tie ensemble was undeniably heart-stopping, but seeing him in a plain black shirt and jeans? now that was something else. you had told him the night prior to wear something casual, and that was probably the best decision you've ever made thus far.

he was leaning on his car, a coat loosely hanging off of his shoulder and attention drilled on his phone. noticing your nearing presence, he quickly shut off the device, eyes gleaming and dimples appearing.

"you're here."

it was around four in the afternoon, the sky rendering a beautiful brilliant blue. patches of little white clouds littered the heaven's canvas, and the sun's glare showered directly on jaehyun's face.

"indeed i am," you laughed, finding your spot directly in front of him. jaehyun's gaze lingered on you a little longer, a light wash of pink painting his pale cheeks. you raised a brow, expecting him to say something but he only stifled out a cough, quickly scrambling to open the front door of his car for you.

"after you," he stuttered out, attempting to keep his composure. jaehyun was nervous— not because of you, but instead it's because the whole concept of going out for mere pleasure had been foreign to him since he was sixteen. you'd actually been a source of comfort for him; even if he embarks on the unkown, it would seem like nothing with your presence alone.

you thanked him before entering, and shortly thereafter he followed.

"so, where exactly are you taking us, miss y/n?" jaehyun asked you but his attention remained on the road before him.

"you'll see when we get there, jae— oh, you should go left from here," and so he did. the next couple of minutes went on like that— you giving him directions, and him attacking you with questions regarding your destination (you refused to answer any of them, of course). after a while, a large ferris wheel can into view as well as vague sounds of boisterous merrymaking.

"jaehyun, we're almost there!" you gushed in delight, slightly bouncing in your seat as you gleamed at the distant sight before you and jaehyun couldn't help but smile at your honeyed excitement.

the car had landed in the the parking lot, prompting you to go out. but before you could open the car door, jaehyun swiftly left his seat, jogged over to your side, and opened the door for you. he extended his hand for you to grab and you couldn't contain your laughter.

"such a gentleman," with a painted smile on your face, you placed your hand on his as you exited the vehicle.

you looked up to jaehyun to see if he was just as eager as you to try all of the rides and games, but his expression remained unreadable. a question came into thought, so you tugged on the short sleeve of his shirt, prompting the male's attention.

the wide grin on you refused to falter even as you neared the park's entrance. there was a spring in your step as you walked and your enthusiasm only grew once you saw the endless colorful booths and stalls lining up from the entrance.

"jae, have you ever been to an amusement park before?"

"a few times, yes," he answered, a somber feeling tracing his features. "but it was a quite long time ago so i don't really remember what it's like."

a frown appeared surfaced after hearing his response. being bred into a family that garnered such a reputation undeniably brought about an immense amount of pressure, so you weren't surprised that jaehyun gave up his childhood so early in order to live up to expectations of dozens and dozens of nameless people. you'd made the right decision of bringing him to the amusement park today— maybe through this he'd be able to relive what he had long forgotten.

"well then," you quickly stood before him, blocking his path to move forward. with your new found determination, you quickly grabbed his hand, eliciting a look of confusion from the tall male. "i'll help you remember."

with a swift tug of his wrist, you ran, jaehyun dragging behind you. "miss y/n, slow down—"

"keep up, jaehyun! or else i might leave you in the dust!" you sang, a wide smile spread on your lips. at first, jaehyun was caught in a daze, but with a quick shake of his head and chimes laughter leaving his lips, he suddenly overtook took your speed.

"keep up, miss y/n."

he teased, your positions switching in a blink of an eye. jaehyun's hair flew with the wind— you couldn't see his face, but you just know that he was beaming, and that alone made you swell with joy.

the afternoon went by rather quickly. after running around the park for a while, you two decided to try out the games first— and dear god, you were met with an entirely new side of jung jaehyun.

"miss y/n, do you mind stepping away for a while?"

"oh, sure," quickly, you scurried away from him, finding a spot a few steps away from the jaehyun.

in front of you two was a punch machine, glaring at you with its red and yellow lights. you had just left from the one of the shooting games where you both failed miserably, causing jaehyun to be a bit dejected. you had told him that it was most likely rigged, but the male swore that he'd regain his dignity. when you glanced up at him to see how he's holding up, and you couldn't help your amusement— jaehyun's brows were in a furrow, face in frozen ice. the fact that he was taking this so seriously was absolutely adorable.

a small crowd of children had formed around you, and you could see that the worker in charge of the game was getting impatient (jaehyun started stretching a bit, and you could tell that the guy was this close to kicking you out).

with a few swift steps and the swing of an arm—

bam.

952.

the small crowd started clapping, and the first thing jaehyun did was look at you— face glowing with a smile that looked as if he had just won the whole world. the way his cheeks lifted and eyes disappeared strung a different kind of chord inside of you. springing from the ground, you leaped towards him, arms spread to capture him in an embrace.

"jaehyun, holy shit, that's a new record!" you squealed, rupturing a wave of confusion from jaehyun. his right arm ended up wrapping around your waist and his opposite palm was resting on your head which was buried in his chest. like earlier, his bewilderment quickly washed away and his voice broke out a chuckle. you looked up, only to see him staring at you with stars in his eyes.

"i told you i'd make up for my loss."

"you didn't have to, but i'm proud of you anyways."

after trying out most of the games and rides (as well as a second run at the viking, due to jaehyun's insistence), the light sky was replaced with the star-studded breath of the night. the lights hanging all over the park were shining— casting dozens of colors all over. the two had just gotten down from your ride from the ferris wheel. although the ride was spent primarily in silence while admiring the atmosphere and scenery before you, it wasn't at all awkward. instead, there was comfort lingering in the air inside the tiny box you two were enclosed in.

shortly thereafter you found yourselves eating dinner at the nearby boardwalk with the sight of the light-stained waters in front of you, and before you knew it the night was finally over. at 9:32 pm, you were already on yout ride back home— the card ride composing of you blaring one of jaehyun's playlists at full volume and singing your hearts out (at that instance, you had found out that jaehyun's voice was nothing less than heavenly and you had complained as to why he'd never told you before). moments later, the facade of your apartment building came into view, signalling the end of your date.

with the same routine as earlier, he had opened the door for you, hands pressed tightly together and showing no signs of letting go.

"i had fun today," you breathed out. the thoughtless grins on your faces mirrored each other, along with the enraptured adoration spiraling in your eyes. "so did you, i hope. if not, then i'd be really sad."

the streetlights and the stars were the only things lighting up the area, but everything suddenly became brighter when you heard the soft laughter slipping from jaehyun's pink tinted lips. "you being sad would be the last thing i'd want, miss y/n."

the cold wind nipped at your skin, causing you to hold onto jaehyun's hand tighter. as much as you didn't want to, you had to head back inside. it was already getting late and you still had work tomorrow morning.

"i should get going, jae," you spoke, earning a nod of understanding from the male. hesitantly, he slipped his hand off of yours, a glimpse of disappointment hinting at his features before being replaced once more with his dimpled smile.

"i'll wait until you get inside before i make my leave."

"alright, alright," you laughed, a gentle rose flushing you cheeks. "text me when you get home, okay?"

jaehyun nodded once more and you finally decided to head inside. once at the entrance, however, you turned your heels to see if he was still there, and indeed he was— standing alone under the coldness of the night, just because he wants to see you safely get inside. you see his expression— confused as to why you weren't opening the door yet, and suddenly you felt your heart jump in a giddy flight. your eyes met and you briskly scurried to unlock the door, lightly smacking on of your cheeks in attempts to calm the blazing red storm going about. you swung it open, but before you finally entered, a sudden thought went inside your head.

lips pressed together, you hesitated, but then ultimately decided

fuck it.

you swiveled around to face jaehyun again and you wordlessly speeded towards him, legs moving in a haste, the air gusting against you. he was flustered with you suddenly standing before him, and it didn't help his case when you looked up to him with your face flushed. without giving jaehyun any opportunity to speak, you sprung on your toes, quickly pressing a fluttering kiss on his jaw.

"goodnight, jaehyun!"

and just like that you ran inside, leaving jaehyun in a coral stained daze. he heard the door to your apartment building closing, and he snapped out. he shook his head, laughing to himself, before getting inside his car.

"goodnight."

gold painted canvas

the classic rich boy and poor girl love story but with less prejudice and more happiness

25 // goodnight

a/n: HHEHEHEH hope you enjoyed 1.9k words of tooth rotting fluff <33 pls lmk what you think hehehe

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madatobiweek2019-2021 · 4 years

Text

Submission from PeacefulDiscord

Back To Spots

“Are you sure this is a good idea?,” Madara stared at his idiot friend incredulously. “If we die in here, I’m going to kill you Hashirama.”

Hashirama paused his snooping, turning away from the test tubes balancing precariously in his hands. He set them down on the table, a smidge too close to the edge if you asked Madara but whatever. That was Hashirama’s problem when Tobirama saw how displaced everything was. Brown eyes peered woefully at him, tearfully vehement as the other man pouted, though ineffective with the messy state Hashirama was in. Scraps of parchment paper were stuck in his hair, ink streaking across his cheek and speckling his fingers.

Madara crinkled his nose, chucking a handkerchief into Hashirama’s face.

Hashirama beamed, rubbing the cloth against his cheek and smearing the ink more. “I don’t think it will be that bad Madara. Tobirama has a lot of protective seals around his lab to keep it safe!”

“Seals that you’ve no problem getting around!”

It was worrisome really, as foolish as Hashirama was, being related to Tobirama and married to Mito had left him with many chances to learn basic skills. While he could not fully understand the way seals functioned or how to lay them, he knew much too well how to disable some. Some like the ones Tobirama had around his lab.

Not to mention his willingness to disable them.

“Now Madara—,” Hashirama began, shoving the napkin into his pocket before snatching up another scroll that looked newer and striking through yet another one of Tobirama’s protective seals.

“See! Like that! You even took down the damn wall with your Mokuton just to get in here! If we don’t die because of whatever disasters are in here then we will die at your brother’s hands!”

Madara shuddered. The last time he aggravated the younger man he’d found himself on the receiving end on some awful seal that summoned nearby birds and critters to him, drawing them to burrow and nest in his hair. Villagers had flocked around him, curious and far too amused, tittering behind hands as they watched the animals lay siege to Madara’s hair knowing he was too busy running away to scream at them. His hair was ruined, bitten off and tangled so horribly that he had to chop the strands to a length he hadn’t had since being twelve years old.

He can already hear the sharp snap of the younger man’s voice— “Don’t go in my lab without me!"— as if he were standing right there.

"It’s important! He’s been in here for weeks—" Hashirama exclaimed, puppy dog eyes on full force.

"Three days! He was in here for three days and he actually came out to eat and take naps—”

“—and who knows what he’s been getting up to! He could be getting hurt or devising something awful—”

“He’s been making food preserving seals for the past month!”

“Do you remember the chain-reacting explosive tags? The undead jutsu? He said he was working on enhanced storage seals!”

Madara froze, mouth opened to yell, and clamped his lips shut. Tobirama did have a way of spiraling away from his original intentions— it wouldn’t hurt to just look to make sure nothing was too….deviated.

“Fine,” he huffed. “But if anything happens I’m chopping your hair off!”

Hashirama squeaked, hands coming up to clutch at his hair. And knocking over the test tubes, sending them careening to the floor with a resounding shatter. Madara watched in horror as the liquids met the black lines of a seal Hashirama had left on the floor— to be analyzed with Mito, he said— and lit them. Colored smoke filled the air and Madara could hear the ground breaking apart moments before Hashirama used Mokuton to send them upwards away from the mess. With a quick wind jutsu, weaker than usual he noticed as his vision swam, Madara sent the smoke into the vent system Tobirama had incorporated early on in case of explosions or dangerous fumes.

Madara rubbed his eyes, carefully lowering himself to the ground. His body was aching— much like the summer over a decade ago when he’d grown almost half a foot in what felt like a few short nights. Coughing, he looked up to see how his friend fared and shrieked.

Sitting in front of him, rubbing his eyes, was Hashirama. But a twelve year old Hashirama. With too big clothes and that godforsaken bowl cut.

“What the fuck! Hashirama, you're—”

“Oh my god, Madara you—”

Madara glanced at his hands. His smaller than before, less calloused hands. “We’re kids again. What the fuck? How? Hashirama!”

He snarled, throwing himself forward to tackle the other man, no, boy, to the ground. “The fuck did you do Senju?!”

“I don’t know— ow! Madara! Don’t, not the face!”

“I'll end you!”

———————————————————-

Half an hour and a semi brutal spar that resulted in Hashirama’s entire face being painted in ink later and both boys were sitting sullenly in the debris they had made of the once pristine lab.

“Tobi’s gonna kill is,” Hashirama sniffled, tears cutting through the black. “I won’t even get to see what my baby looks like.”

“If they’re lucky, nothing like you,” Madara sneered, pulling at the sticky glue-like substance that he’d tumbled into during the fight, snarling angrily as his sleeves still stuck together.

He was surprised his clothes even stayed on, they were so big, but the ties must have worked for something. Hashirama had already wrapped himself up in the excess cloth and tied it off as tightly as he could with his obi and other straps of fabric that he tore from his haori. Madara, on the other hand, would just have to wait.

He tugged at his sleeves again, cursing the glue and Hashirama.

“Ah Madara, don’t be mean!” The brunette sobbed. “My baby would be cute! Even if they looked like me!”

Madara opened his mouth to respond— wanted to sneer that it was good Hashirama knew he wasn’t attractive— but froze as the door opened at just that moment. Red eyes peered distractedly over a thick book, widening as they caught onto the state of the lab. With careful movements, Tobirama lowered the book and set it down, hand reaching for his sword.

“Anija. Madara. What did you do?” He snarled low in his throat, biting through every word like a separate sentence.

The boys blanched, glancing to each other and then shunshinning to the window only for Tobirama to slam his hand against the wall, a seal stretching across the metal to form a barrier they couldn’t get through.

“It was an accident!” Hashirama wailed, gasping through his crocodile tears. “I-am-so so-rry o-tou-to.”

He ran over and clutched at Tobirama’s yukata, burying his messy face into it. “I’m such a bad brother!”

“Anija! Stop that! You’re dirtying my— get off you idiot!”

“I just wanted to make sure you were safe and—!”

“By destroying my lab?” Tobirama shoved at Hashirama, stumbling when the boy’s grip didn’t let up. “Damn it, you poisonous vine, let go!”

“Tobi—!”

“I will get Mito-nee in here so fast—”

Hashirama yelped, letting go with a heavy pout. “You don’t have to be like thaaaat,” he whined, scuffing his foot on the ground. “That’s a really low blow, Tobi. How could you do that to your precious brother—”

“After he destroyed my lab and turned he and his idiot friend back into children?” Tobirama snarked, leveling both of them with a sharp glare. “I’ve no idea.”

Madara shuffled guiltily, wincing as he took in the mess they made.

“We can clean it up!” He offered quickly. Hashirama squawked, shaking his head.

“Oh?” Tobirama quirked a brow. “Properly?”

Madara could feel Tobirama’s chakra rise and fall, unsteady and bothered like a riptide, dragging him closer to anger and not letting him calm down, and nodded hastily. Hashirama became frantic in his head shaking, panicked as he looked at the mess miserably,

“Absolutely. No problem. It’ll take an hour. Tops!” Madara promised, grinning a touch sheepishly even as he tossed his friend a glare. “I understand why you’re upset— we shouldn’t have invaded your privacy and we certainly shouldn’t have made such a mess of things. We were concerned but we should have respected your boundaries. You’ve my sincerest apologies Tobirama.”

Tobirama’s gaze softened and he huffed out a breath, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

“It’s fine. You haven’t gotten into anything too important. We now need to figure out what you two have done and fix it. None of my seals were meant to do this.”

Hashirama slumped in relief, “Oh thank god, I hate cleaning— what?”

———————————————————

“Oh wow, I haven’t seen Hashirama look that awful in years," Touka breathed out in wonderment. ”I almost forgot he was such an ugly bastard.“

"Touka-nee, you’re supposed to keep an eye on him so he doesn’t destroy anything, not keep an eye on his confidence to just destroy it,” Tobirama sighed over his brother’s wailing. Then, speaking over the sound of Madara pummeling his brother, asked, “Mito-nee, will you be able to handle the Hokage’s duties in your state?”

His sister-in-law and he were able to deduce that the jutsu, since many had overlapped and were then combined by the liquid soaking through the papers and smudging the inks, would eventually wear off on its own, a few days at most given the seals were not meant for major bends in time and space. And, even without that, it would, or at least should, not take them too long to devise a remedy.

But that was for tomorrow. Now, they were much too tired and irritable.

“My pregnant state, Tobirama?” Mito arched a brow. “You’d be amazed at what I can handle in this state, brother-in-law. The bigger concern is will you be able to handle Madara while Izuna is away?”

Tobirama looked at the two boys now disguised as other, unidentifiable children. Too many people remembered them as children or at least would recognize their features. With their weaker abilities it was best to keep them hidden and separated (they couldn’t last too long without bickering and yelling each other’s name in rage, like the complete idiots they were) to not give away the precarious situation the Village had now found itself in. The jutsu that changed Madara’s haír to a soft, pale blue, gently wishing about his face and skin to an olive tone did nothing to hide the fire in his chakra boiling beneath.

A new student from a distant place— Cloud Country perhaps— that was the story they would go by. A student adopted from parents Tobirama had saved.

The younger man felt a sudden tiredness fill his bones watching Madara blow flames at Hashirama’s shoulder length purple hair only to be slapped at by many flowers that erupted quite spontaneously from the wood paneling on the wall.

This would be a long few days if they couldn’t undo the mess that was made of Tobirama’s work.

“Izuna may find himself rather alone if he doesn’t hurry back,” he rubbed between his eyes, hand glowing green to chase away the headache. “Who knows? He might thank me.”

He ignored the smirks on his cousin and sister-in-law’s faces, snatching Madara by the wrist and all but hauling him out of Hashirama’s home to his own. Madara glared and very pointedly took his hand away to instead clasp Tobirama’s in his own, twining their fingers together and smiling triumphantly when Tobirama did nothing but sigh.

Oh yes, it’d be a long few days indeed.

———————————————————

The walk home had been silent, the streets much too empty for distraction and they were inside Tobirama’s home before he could properly gather himself. He could admire the timing, if anything. Just yesterday his house had been strewn with far too many papers and even some dust, given the time he spent in the office or his lab instead. Messes from ruined meals had been spattered across his kitchen and his dirty laundry pile had consisted of all of his clothes save for the set on his back. That was the breaking point, sending him into the cleaning frenzy that lasted clear into early morning, until every corner was cleaned to pristine, his laundry washed, dried, and packed neatly away. It was the most presentable and welcoming his home had ever been and the first time Madara, child or not, would actually step past the threshold.

He resolved to give himself a silent pat on the back, watching carefully as Madara took everything from the bookshelves to the altar in, knowing those hawk-like eyes were looking for dust as his clean freakishness often had him doing and finding none.

The tension seeped from Madara’s shoulders and he carefully took off his shoes, setting them neatly aside as he wandered furthered in, already growing comfortable in Tobirama’s small space. At least, if anything, Tobirama could rest knowing he had made a good impression, hoping it would serve him well when the jutsu finally wore off.

“You know,” Madara began over his bowl of noodles, slurping the noodles gracelessly. “I don’t think your brother would’ve wanted me to come stay with you if he knew I was courting you.”

“You’re a child at the moment— that’s hardly relevant right now,” still Tobirama felt his face warm and he swallowed some of his food quickly to disguise it. What they had while Madara was an adult was— nice. A small secret for just the two of them while they got comfortable with each other.

Just the other day he and the older man had a picnic besides a lake closer to the edges of Konoha, waded deep and relaxed beneath the stars— quiet because they hadn’t needed any words to enjoy just being with each other. It was smiles upon eye contact, soft laughs at little quirks. Thinking of slightly chapped, languid lips against his own, gentle like the brush of fingers on something so invaluably precious and irreplaceable, the feel of coarse hair twisting in his hands and just the comfort of a body pressed to his to block the chill of night air made something warm build in his chest and spread to his cheeks.

It wasn’t so nice a memory to think about when his beau was a mere twelve years old to his twenty-eight however.

Madara set his bowl down carefully. “Does it bother you?”

“Hm?” Tobirama wasn’t used to the other man, boy, being so pensive. He put his scroll down and met Madara’s eyes, concerned.

“Does it bother you to be with me?” Madara clarified, clearing his throat as he sat up straight. “I know with our past, the rumors, and our temperaments— they don’t exactly make for an ideal relationship but…”

Tobirama interrupted. “But yet I have not rejected you or your gifts,” he frowned. “Madara, my only problem before was that— well, I had wanted to keep things private for a bit and have time for us before Anija started planning a wedding and now, well you’re a child now,” he scrunched his nose in disgust, giving Madara a pointed look when the boy stared at him with a fondness much too heady and mature for his age. “It’s best not to think of my attraction to you given the circumstances.”

Madara flushed, looking away quickly. “Ah right.” He paused for a long moment before a cheeky grin pulled at his lips. “I suppose I won’t be allowed to sleep in your room then?”

Tobirama scowled, throwing cold tea into Madara’s face, relishing, privately, the crack of the boy’s voice, so much more high pitched than how Tobirama knew it to be.

———————————————————

“You can’t do that Shouta,” Tobirama hissed between gritted teeth. It was only the second day and he was ready to throw Madara, now going by Shouta, into the deepest, roughest river he could find.

Drawing a deep breath to calm himself, he willed water from the air to douse the flames engulfing the now terrified shopkeeper’s stall.

“He was flirting—” Madara bristled, crossing his arms. “He deserved it!”

Tobirama huffed, apologizing quickly to the shopkeeper and pulling Madara away. “He asked where I got my kimono—”

“Because he was admiring the way it fits you!”

Tobirama cringed. Madara’s voice as an adult never, not once no matter how much he was yelling, ever got so shrill. He would need to invest in earplugs at this rate. Glancing around discreetly, he shoved Madara around the corner, away from prying eyes and dropped to a crouch so they could talk face to face.

“Because he liked the fabric and wanted some pieces made for his daughter! You are completely insufferable, even as a child!” Tobirama snapped.

“I’m protecting your virtue! Hashirama said you never realized when people were interested. And that shopkeeper was interested. I know he was!” Madara protested angrily, before turning away and crossing his arms, grumbling curses under his breath.

Rubbing at his nose— it was a wonder the shape hadn’t changed after all the times his frustration had him irritating it— he sighed explosively before swallowing a quick, calming breath. Younger Madara lacked maturity and sense apparently so Tobirama needed to gain patience.

“Madara, you trust me, correct?” he asked softly.

Madara turned back to him curiously. “Of course.”

“So why would anyone showing interest in me be a reason to get so angry unless you thought I would leave my courtship with you for them? That is a lack of trust towards me Madara,” Tobirama explained. He’d seen too many people treat their partners in such a manner and he detested it. He wanted to be able to be himself without worrying how others would perceive him— he had lived much too long with others in mind.

Madara fiddled at the braided bangs Tobirama had put his hair into, pinky finger touching his lip.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel that way,” he whispered. “I just…don’t like it.”

Tobirama smiled softly. Madara, no matter his age, was always much too protective. He couldn’t fault him though. Not now.

“Let’s go, I have to get some shopping done. I think you already finished all the food I had in the house.”

Madara blushed fiercely, ducking his head so his hair fell in front of his face though he still took Tobirama’s hand in his.

“You said I could have whatever I wanted!” Madara’s free hand was back by his lips again.

“Ah right. Whatever, everything. I see how you could get the words confused,” Tobirama ribbed gently, easily pushing down Madara’s hand so the boy wouldn’t bite his nails. “That’s a bad habit, don’t do that.”

As they passed the still horrified shopkeeper, Madara stood upright, pout replaced with a haughty sneer. “You talking to him won’t change anything. He’s mine.”

Tobirama flushed, letting out an awkward laugh as the other villagers eyed him in curious amusement.

“New student,” he grimaced through an explanation. “You know how they are.”

“We know how they are with you Tobirama-sama!” Someone called out, drawing more chuckles from the crowd.

“He’s so cute!” A lady smiled, gently patting Madara’s head as she passed by. “If only people closer to our age were like this, hmm, Tobirama-sama?”

Madara preened under the attention, tugging Tobirama closer and intertwining their fingers, much to the growing entertainment of the entire marketplace. Tobirama thanked every kami for his happuri, casually activating the seal on the side to cool his flaming skin.

If he let Hiruzen test his monkey summon on Madara later that day, no one would have to know (something that was more terrifying without the ability to use his sharingan anymore, having been sent back to an age where he did not have them).

Not that that stopped Madara from yelling at anyone that showed a smidgeon of too much interest in Tobirama to “get their own boyfriend”. ———————————————————

“Madara, you needn’t carry everything,” Tobirama sighed, watching fondly as the boy shifted the basket and bags about in his arms, stumbling along as they made their way back to Tobirama’s home. “I am perfectly capable of carrying my own groceries.”

It was only the fourth day of Madara’s stay and they’d run out of groceries again. Especially the few sweets he had bought just for Madara. Those were gone within moments.

Madara squawked suddenly, one leg tripping over the other, and went sprawling to the ground. With a quick shunshin, Tobirama dropped a scroll onto the dirt to catch all the groceries, letting his free hand shoot out to grab Madara and pull him upright. Straightening the young boy’s collar, he snatched up the now rolled scroll and tucked it into his pocket.

“Like I said, perfectly capable of carrying my groceries,” he drawled. Catching sight of Madara’s embarrassed pout— and oh, he made that exact expression as an adult too!— hair moving forward to hide his face again, Tobirama pushed the unruly strands back with an indulgent smile. “How about we get some dango?”

The word koibito hovered on the tip of his tongue but he bit it back. He was getting rather impatient waiting on this jutsu to let up.

He ignored the flicker of ire and almost-sadness, grinning as Madara’s face lit up. If anything, he was given quite the ideal opportunity to know his suitor. He could enjoy it while it lasted.

———————————————————

“Save me,” Mito snarled as soon as he and Madara stepped through the door. Her face was splotchy and she seemed less composed than ever. “Before I kill your brother.”

Tobirama blinked, eyes searching, landing on his brother sat in the corner and facing the wall. “Mito-nee—”

“Because Hashirama doesn’t realize being in his childhood body doesn’t mean he can act like a child. He keeps making messes and being too loud and, Hashirama if I hear you wailing one more time—”

“Breathe Aneue,” Tobirama held his hands up placatingly.

Mito heaved a breath, pushing her hair behind her ear before resting her hands on her belly. Her eyes were watering when she looked back at Tobirama. “We need to work on the jutsu Tobirama. I can't— with the Hokage duties and watching Hashirama and feeling sick all the time—”

Tobirama nodded. “Go sit, Aneue. Madara—”

“I can make you some tea, Mito-hime,” the boy said, bowing quickly and heading to the kitchen. “Ginger maybe? Or chamomile?”

Mito stared at him in wonderment. “How—I thought he’d be like Hashirama. I was sure of it. Has he been well-behaved this entire week?”

Tobirama smiled sheepishly. “More or less.” He frowned, sending a hard look to the boy all but wilted over himself. “Has Anija been giving you a lot of trouble?”

“Not really—” she glanced at the boy. “Hashirama, can you be a dear and help Madara in the kitchen please?”

Hashirama sprang from his seat, wiping his eyes and nodding hurriedly. “Of course Mito-!”

The rest of the sentence was lost as he scurried away.

“I just need my husband, Tobirama. Not this child who can’t keep his hands off my belly or food in his mouth. I— he’s not even being bad! Not really, just—”

“Overwhelming?”

Mito gave a small nod, looking horribly miserable.

“He was like that as a child. He only learned more restraint as an adult when he realized he kept accidentally hurting others in his enthusiasm,” Tobirama rolled his eyes, heart feeling a little too fond given the grievances his brother had put him through. Once, Hashirama had fractured his ribs with a hug. He’d hoped, however, that Hashirama would not fall back on childhood habits.

He should’ve seen it though— Madara had after all. The flailing, the quirky habits, threatening with fire— wait no, he did that as an adult— but everything else was so painstakingly innocent. Tobirama should’ve really kept a closer watch on Hashirama.

“I’ve been working on the jutsu, a little while longer and I believe I will be able to undo everything,” he reassured.

Mito sighed in relief, pulling Tobirama into a hug as best as she could around the swell of her stomach. Tobirama let her hold onto him for a few long moments, talking softly of the progress he made with the seals and making note of her suggestions, before coaxing her into the kitchen to eat.

And let Mito freeze, hiding his smile at her surprise. Dishes were neatly laid across the table, a cup of steaming tea covered with a small plate and placed by Mito’s seat. Madara grinned at them from beside the stove, turning at a pot.

“I’m making ramen! I know it’s nothing fancy but you seemed stressed and tired so I thought you might want something easier to eat so you can go rest sooner.”

Mito blinked. Settled herself into her seat and took a sip of her tea, humming appreciatively. “I didn’t even remember having those spices.”

“You didn’t,” Madara frowned. “I don’t know what the hell you two are eating but without these,” he gestured to the various small bottles he had set on the counter, “it can’t be anything good. I sent Hashi to Tobi’s. I made him buy these earlier.”

Hashirama grinned, swinging his feet from where he sat atop the counter. “See! I helped! I even set the table!”

He looked at Mito hopefully and she smiled. “Thank you Hashirama. Thank you Madara.”

Both boys beamed proudly though Madara quickly ducked behind his hair, adorably bashful. “It’s very simple. I hope you find it as pleasing as the effort.”

Mito smiled encouragingly, taking the pot from Madara and helping share it into the bowls. “I am certain it is delightful Madara.”

Madara blushed a bit brighter, settling quickly in front of his own bowl.

“Itadakimasu!”

Tobirama grinned, making sure to limit his own portion as he watched his brother’s and sister-in-law’s eyes open with surprise, noises of appreciation slipping past their lips as they dug in with a little more vigor than would be polite. Mito and Hashirama were sure to want seconds. Maybe even thirds.

Madara’s eyes darted to Tobirama’s bowl and he looked up with confusion, eyes silently asking if Tobirama were okay. Smiling gently, Tobirama glanced at their other two companions before dropping Madara a wink.

It was okay. He’d get Madara to cook for him later.

———————————————————

“I uh want to go look for berries at the river! From over there!” Madara called out awkwardly, shuffling from one foot to the other.

Hashirama looked up from the berries he and Tobirama were picking. He looked bemused for all of two seconds before his lips spread in a wicked grin that he hid behind his basket. “Okay!”

Tobirama, too busy separating the berries (and perhaps sneaking a few to eat) just nodded distractedly, only looking up when Hashirama stood up a few minutes later. “Anija?”

“Let’s go look at the river too, Tobi!”

Rolling his eyes, Tobirama let himself be pulled down the path Madara took, frowning when he heard something like a trickle of water when usually the river was silent during these times of low-tide. As they neared, he could just faintly make out Madara’s hair and, just before he could call out, watched Hashirama throw himself out of the bushes right behind the other boy.

Madara’s back went ramrod straight.

“Still can’t go when someone’s behind you?” Hashirama laughed loudly, finger pointing.

Madara whirled around just as Tobirama stepped through the bushes, face cherry red and mouth open to scream at Hashirama. Upon seeing Tobirama, he burned even redder, looking for all the world humiliated and betrayed as he hissed at Hashirama to shut up.

And suddenly so many other things made sense. Madara’s insistence to wait until Tobirama was far too distracted or not even in the house to use the restroom, mumbled excuses of needing privacy to go do something like clean or having to water plants of all things (“better for him to get the job done correctly”) keeping the bathroom door firmly locked even though Tobirama had not once known him to be body shy. Hell, just that morning Madara thought it appropriate to walk around the house with nothing but a small towel wrapped about his waist.

Madara was shy to use the bathroom around…anyone apparently. Tobirama bit back a laugh, frowning instead when he saw Madara hide more behind his hair, the tip of his nose reddening as he curled as much into himself as he could.

Tobirama could feel the headache coming. Why did he think agreeing to watch over both of them was a good idea? Oh right, so Mito could rest and Touka wouldn’t feel tempted to commit treason by killing one of the two brats. Especially given the fiasco that happened yesterday when Touka was in his shoes so he and Mito could work on the seal more.

He really was too kind for his own good.

“Anija!” Tobirama snapped. “Stop wasting time bothering Madara.”

“But Tobi—” Hashirama whined. “I—”

“We are going to pick berries at the river mouth—Madara already has this area covered.”

That would put them far off out each other’s sight so Madara could have his privacy and still be close enough for Tobirama to come if anything were to happen. He dragged his brother away without another word, missing the besotted and grateful look Madara shot him.

It wasn’t too long until Madara joined them again, flicking his hands through a much too familiar sign and setting the edge of Hashirama’s clothing on fire. Shrieking, Hashirama took off upstream before Tobirama could douse him with water, passing the place Madara had been and diving beneath the river surface.

“I suppose that was fair,” Tobirama mused. “I don’t think he got hurt at least.”

Madara scuffed the ground with his shoe, voice soft when he responded. “Yeah.”

“There’s no need to be embarrassed. While I’m certainly surprised your bladder cooperated with your discomfort in quite the opposite manner than I would have expected—”

The boy flushed deeper. “No! I um yeah that’s odd but I um, I actually have something for you!”

“Oh?” Tobirama raised a brow. “Did you get something you were with Touka?”

Madara shook his head, determinedly looking at his shoes. “No I, I meant to give this to you earlier but then,” he waved his hand about awkwardly. “-all of this happened instead.”

Tobirama squinted, nose wrinkled. “Before you do that, did you wash your hands?”

The Uchiha squawked. “Of course I did! I’m not your brother! Stupid Senju—!” He shoved a small box in Tobirama’s hands as he continued his tirade against the Senju Clan.

Ignoring him— Tobirama had gotten quite good at that even before they began courting— he opened the box carefully and stilled. Inside was a small chain with a circular tanzanite pendant, a silver dragon figurine curled around one edge, its tail curling up to connect the pendant to the chain, and a silver leopard figurine stretched along the opposite edge. Their eyes were little red gems, pyrope, and almost exactly the shape and shade of his eyes. The only difference was the trace of black cutting through the red, carving Madara’s mangekyou into the dragon’s eyes.

Tobirama felt his breath catch.

“Madara—”

“You like both those animals! And, and you said I'm— that having me around is like having you’re own personal dragon so I…” his voice fell to little over a whisper. “I had that made for you. So it’s like I’m always around, like we’re always together.”

And now Tobirama’s eyes were watering, happy tears, and wasn’t that an idea. After so much grief, after never once even humoring such an absurdity as crying happily like his brother, Tobirama was well on the verge of doing the same.

Falling to his knees, he pulled the Uchiha into his arms, habit leading him to tuck his face against Madara’s hair. “I find myself really wishing you weren’t a child right now.”

Madara stroked a hand through Tobi’s hair, returning the hug tightly with a disgruntled pout. “Me too. This is fucking annoying. I want to kiss your pretty face, damn. Why’s that so much to ask for?”

“What!”

Hashirama stood gaping behind them, horror and anger twisting his features. “You’re dating my brother?”

“Anija—” Tobirama sighed, hand going right for the bridge of his nose.

“No!” Hashirama yelled, stomping his foot, childishly if not for the Mokuton poking through the dirt. “No, you don’t get to say anything! You were supposed to tell me before— don’t bother explaining or, or giving excuses now! I forbid it!”

Tobirama reeled back in shock. Not once, not even in the worse of Hashirama’s anger, had he ever tried to silence Tobirama.

“What?" Madara growled. "You what?”

Hashirama snarled. “I forbid you from dating my brother.”

The plants and grass were growing, leaves and stems thickening, hardening, and coiling up towards Madara.

“You can’t do that!”

“I can! And I will! I know you! I know your habits—”

“My habits?”

“All that damn time— you can’t handle a long-term relationship! And I’m not letting you use my brother, you backstabbing—” Hashirama was shaking with rage. “You, you bastard!”

With a yell, he lunged towards Madara recklessly only to be thrown over the Uchiha’s shoulder. Madara kneeled onto Hashirama’s chest, wrapping a hand around his throat, body also trembling with fury.

Tobirama moved to separate them, hands grabbing at Madara’s shoulders.

“I love him!” Madara yelled. “I love him! And you don’t get a damn say in any of it!”

Hashirama stopped clawing at Madara’s hands and Tobirama’s own hands went slack. Madara spun to look at him, sharingan burning in his eyes. Something like desperation seemed to spin in the commas.

“You hear me? I love you.”

Perhaps with the best timing ever, the air filled with smoke, startling them all apart. Tobirama covered his eyes as a bright light danced between the wisps and tossed the scroll he’d kept packed with Hashirama’s and Madara’s clothes into the fog, right at the red eyes looking back at him. When it dissipated, a Madara, an adult Madara (thankfully somewhst properly dressed) was standing there, sharingan still spinning in his eyes as he stared at Tobirama. No words passed before the two men pressed their lips together, hands tangling in each other’s hair. Something wet trickled down their cheeks and Tobirama couldn’t tell if the tears were coming from his eyes or Madara’s.

“I love you, I love you,” Madara whispered between kisses. And Tobirama nodded as of to answer some unspoken question.

“You love him?” Hashirama whispered, eyes flooding with tears. He tugged a haori over his shoulders. “You love my baby brother? You’re not just— Oh. Oh Madara I thought you were— oh I’m so happy!”

They weren’t paying attention to Hashirama’s babbling though, too transfixed and overly emotional at the admission of a confession they had been denying themselves.

“I’ve missed you,” Tobirama murmured, pressing his forehead against Madara’s. “Don’t ever go in my lab without me again.”

Madara laughed shakily. “Never. I’m never going anywhere without you ever again."

———————————————————

Omake:

Hashirama wailed, squirming against the chains and seals in vain to get away as Madara used his kama to shear his long brown locks down to the base of his scalp.

"I told you I’d chop your hair off, bastard!” Madara cackled. “Now stay still before I accidentally take your head off!”

“I can’t believe you disguised yourself as Mito!” Hashirama sobbed. “I can’t believe she and Tobirama helped you! Traitors!”

Madara just laughed louder and continued hacking at Hashirama’s hair.

#madatobiweek2020 #de-aged #fanfiction #submission

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itsjustmyfantasyroom · 4 years

Text

I can't believe it.

This is episode based, the Hank Abraham case- which i touched on as lightly as possible but its there, so there is fair warning.

Warnings: Usual Svu, SVU based & Hank Abraham case.

The air was thick with tension, no one was game to say anything at risk of adding more fuel to the fire or saying something wrong. Sonny, Amanda and you felt like you had done something wrong, when in reality you done your job and caught a bad man, you guys couldn't help who it was.

Rafael wasn't himself when he found out the news. You guys hadn't spent much time together since the case came in, he had been working late, you asleep when he got home and gone by the time you woke. He was getting pressure from the DA to sort this out and get it out of the way as quickly as possible. It had to come first till it was all over with.

Pippa Cox walked out of Liv's office after watching one of Hank’s interviews with Rafael and Ed Tucker, she looked into your eyes with such hate and hurt, and you looked down holding back tears with red cheeks. You guys had walked into her and Hanks apartment at two in the morning and turned her and her kid’s lives inside out. Of course she hated you for it. You got up from your desk and pretty much ran to the on call room and shut the door behind you letting the tears fall.

Amanda had seen the look you were given and how you reacted, you didn't know she had followed you.

The door opened and you were sitting on a bed. She walked over and sat next to you putting her arm around your shoulders.

"It's a tough one"

"You’re telling me, I just hate feeling like we done something wrong, you know"

"Yeah I know, but we didn't. We caught the bad guy"

"We tore his family apart"

"Yeah, but he was doing bad things, you wouldn't want to be married to someone like that would you?" You shook your head

----

Friday afternoon came at a snail’s pace. You had a few messages here and there from Rafael over the week, and one late night conversation, he felt like a stranger. He told you he didn't want you to feel that he was taking it out on you, but he has having trouble processing everything that was going on, which you could tell from his sad watery eyes during that conversation. So you left him to it and stayed out of the way.

Sonny had gone to court with Liv on Friday for the ruling, he wanted you to go too, but you wanted to stay back and finish off paper work and just go home. You finished early and signed out when Amanda did. You got a cab a block away from the apartment and picked up two bottles of wine then walked the rest of the way home.

You hadn't heard from Rafael so you decided to give it a couple of hours before you would order in. Sonny messaged you with outcome and you weren't sure how Rafael would be when he got home. You showered and washed you hair and put on some cotton shorts and a t-shirt and opened the wine.

You pretty much sculled down the first bottle. You were on your last glass from that bottle staring out the window when you heard the keys in the door. Rafael walked in like a zombie and went straight to the bathroom not even saying hello and you heard the shower running.

You stood at the island and opened the second bottle of wine and filled your glass up, picked up your phone and ordered his favourite Thai dish from a place down the street. You poured him a drink just how he liked it and sat it at the end of the island so he could see it when he walked out of the bathroom.

He came out in a pair of cotton track pants and a white t shirt, walked straight to the drink and drunk it in one go, he walked over to you, turned you to face him and wrapped his arms around your waist and hide his face in your neck.

"Just hold me, don't let me go ok" You nodded and kissed him on top of the head.

Not much was said for the rest of the night, dinner came and you ate in silence, Rafael having a couple more drinks after dinner. After you cleaned up and sat on the couch, Rafael joined you and laid his head on your lap and you ran your fingers threw his hair.

Next minute you heard him lightly snoring, you wiggled out from under him laying is head slowly down and covered him with a blanket and went to bed. You wanted nothing but to pull him to bed with you, but he was completely drained and slightly drunk, so best to just leave him there.

****

The light was streaming in from the window through your eyes lids, you slowly rolled onto your back and was surprised when you seen Rafael laying there looking up at the ceiling.

"Morning Rafi, are you ok?" You lent over and kissed him on the cheek. He didn't answer straight away. He was frowning and his jaw was clenched.

"I can't believe it you know-why he would risk everything over doing something like that. He had everything. An amazing job, a wife, two healthy happy children and he did that knowing if he was caught what would happen" he shook his head.

"No one will ever be able to answer that Rafi, not even him. He was fighting demons no one knew about and they won. I feel sorry for Pippa. Being married to him for so long and having his children, for him to be doing that behind her back. But I can't help but think it was our fault."

He turned his head and looked at you, you looked down

"Why would you think that?"

"Well if we had left when Liv told us too, he wouldn't have got caught and their lives would have gone on like they always had. All week Sonny, Amanda and I have been blaming ourselves. But we were just doing our job. But we tore his family apart-and I couldn't help but think you were mad, at us, at me starting this shit storm"

He rolled over and faced you, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"Look at me Hermosa" you didn't "Hermosa" you huffed and looked up to meet his gaze.

"I don't want you to ever think that ever again. He would have got caught. You done your job, and a good job at that. I'm sorry for the distances, I just couldn't get it to sink in. It triggered so much for me and I didn't know how to process it. Not that my father did anything like that, but he had an amazing wife and me, and it still wasn't enough, his actions caused him to lose us. I don't understand why what they have isn't enough."

"It’s life Rafi, some people it’s just their makeup, how they are made, they don't care if they lose what they have, no matter how good it is. If we weren't in the job we're in, none of this would matter as much as it does, it would just be another story on the news. But we see it first hand, we have a different point of view than most people. I just hope-never mind"

"No say it"

"I just hope I'll always be enough for you Rafi" his whole face softened and he lent down and kissed you lightly on the lips.

"Hermosa, you always have been and always will be enough, I love you."

****

"Tio Raf, you promised so long ago" Zara pouted over the video call.

"I know mi Amor, but Tia and I have been really busy with work"

"Sweetie, as soon as Aunty Liv and Tio Raf's boss give us some time off we will be out to see you"

"I can call Aunty Liv and talk to her" you, Rafael and Nick started laughing

"It's ok sweetie thank you, but I can handle her"

****

"Ladies and Gentleman this is your caption speaking, we have arrived at LAX airport, local time 7 am, enjoy your stay in Los Angeles California"

The sun was shining down and you could smell the salt in the air, you hadn't been this relaxed in a very long time. You and Rafael were standing on Santa Monica pier waiting for Nick and Zara to come.

You both finally got some time off and worked with Nick on a week he had Zara over summer break. You guys all decided to keep it as a surprise for her. Although Rafael would have preferred a beach somewhere, you both naked most of the time, he was looking forward to some time away and some time with Zara. Nick only had a 1 bedroom apartment, so you guys were staying in a hotel. Rafael preferred it that way anyway, because he knew at the end of the day he could get you alone.

"You excited Hermosa?" Rafael was leaning on the rail looking very handsome in jeans and a casual button down, your arms wrapped around his middle and your chin on his shoulder

"Very much so. You?" He nodded and kissed you on the cheek.

"Hey Sweetie, I have a surprise for you"

"What is it Daddy?" Zara looked up at Nick

"Have a look around first to see if you notice anything"

Nick had sent you a message saying they were walking towards the pier, so you both started to make your way toward the entrance. You could see Zara scanning the crowd, and then her eyes met yours and she smiled and screamed.

"TIA" she ran towards you and knelt down a bit so you could pick her up as she got to you. Zara wrapped her arms around your neck and you picked her up.

"Hey my sweetie, surprise. I've missed you so much"

"Tia you made it. I've missed you"

You gave her a kiss in the cheek and placed her back on the ground when she wrapped her arms around your waist.

"Hey mi Amor"

"TIO RAF"

She pulled away from you and jumped on to Rafael, him picking her up. That finally gave you a chance to say hello to Nick. You wrapped your arms around his neck and his around your middle, he lifted you slightly off the ground.

"I've missed you so much Y/N"

"Me too Nick"

He put you down and pulled away, kissing you on top of your head resting his arm around your shoulders.

The week had been amazing, you guys had done so much with Nick and Zara. Zara was going back to Maria that night, and it was your last day tomorrow, you guys had a midnight flight. Nick was going to take you both out for dinner and then drive you to the airport.

"So the last case was a tough one hey" Nick took a sip of his beer.

"You could say that" Rafael frown "You’re lucky you missed out on all the fun" he rolled his eyes.

"It was horrible" you took a sip of your wine "that's really the first time I questioned myself at my job"

"Why would you do that?" Nick grabbed your arm and gave it a light squeeze "Your amazing at what you do, you couldn't help who it was. I was shocked when you told me"

"Anyway let's talk about something else, you look happy Nick, and so does Zara" you smiled at him.

"She is, I’ am. I' am missing a couple of things, well people, but it was worth the move for the most part, especially when the people I miss most come to visit"

"You don't miss me Amaro" Rafael smirked at him

"Well no, but you guys are a package deal" Nick winked at you.

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kiaraspeaks · 3 years

Text

Anansi x Female!Reader: In a flash we'll meet again.

You hope that he understands one day, his father is a complicated man. Man? That's a stretch of the imagination right there. You loved Anansi, loved him more than anything and anyone else in the world, besides Charlie, but, you couldn't stay with him. Children only are able to see what you put in front of them, and Anansi painted just enough of a vision of himself to hide his world from your child. Children. What a fucking mess that is. There are days that you wished that you hadn't met him but that's a pointless line of thought, Anansi desired you, to know you, to have Charlie, long before any war. He may have driven you up a wall at one point but he was family, and you knew that despite any differences when you called he would always come.

After all that's how you met, you weren't trying to summon a God. But praying for somebody, anybody, to stop this man chatting you up in the bar. You came for a quick drink at Randy's Divebar, Anansi materialized nearby (or perhaps he was waiting in the wings the whole time, just waiting, as he had done your entire life) what might be a hideous green and yellow floral pattern worked for him, long lean lines that might make someone else seem imposing made him even more inviting despite the man yammering on and on about himself.

"Bothering you?" He said, he inhaled on the cigarette and blew smoke into the face of the man hassling you. Whichever meathead that was hassling you didn't take kindly to it, but Anansi didn't care, had never cared, didn't care that he was thinner and obviously more breakable. He out maneuvered everyone before ever setting foot in any room, that included you too. "Move."

"Or what?" They said, he'd been hunched over you for the better part of the night but he was standing up rod straight and cutting an imposing figure. First, Anansi smiled, something you learned much later masks more pain and irritation than any human body could tolerate. Next, he picked up his glass and drained it and turned it over in his hands a few times. You heard it, the sound of the glass shattering, the crunching of the bones in his face, and finally saw the mess of the meathead's face. They ran out screaming, bleeding and crying. You should've been positively frightened but you weren't. Not even as Anansi plucked glass out of hands and tossed it into the drink of the man who had annoyed you.

"That wasn't necessary." You said and nursed your drink. The bartender didn't say anything, clearly they had some type of understanding. They moved further down to tend to other customers.

"Maybe so," He said, the cigarette perched perfectly in the corner of his mouth. He pulled out the splintered shards of glass like it didn't hurt, the blood didn't bother him. He raised his bloody hand and signaled for two drinks. "But it was fun."

"For you."

"Well maybe I'll have to work harder to impress you next time." He said.

"What makes you think there will be a next time, and why would you try?" You said, he smirked, didn't smile. His smirks were harmless, adorable, thoughtful. It's dangerous to know a God so closely. You would call it fate, but Anansi hated such words. After all he thought the only stories that were written in stone were penned by him.

"You're Mr. Nancy's girl, why not try?"

"And who is Mr. Nancy?" You asked, two drinks are placed between you both and then a small container of gauze. Anansi grabbed the gauze and one of the drinks, he poured the liquor over his wounded hand and allowed it to drip perfectly into the glass with the bloody shards. He doesn't wince, sigh or suck in deep breaths of air as the booze washes over his wounds.

"Someone important, snappy dresser, charming, and I hear that he might even be single."

"If I'm his girl how is he single?" You asked,he wrapped his hand with an ease that told he got into these types of scuffles often. Again, you learn Anansi doesn't take on any war that isn't already won, that includes your heart.

"Well that sounds like a proposal if I ever heard one." He said.

"You're Mr. Nancy?"

"My friends call me Mr. Nancy, but you, you can call me whatever you want."

"What's your name?" You asked. Another charming smirk, no madness in the eyes, he tapped the growing mountain of ash into the glass with the shards and the blood and tainted alcohol, he killed the light on the cigarette and topped .

"Have dinner with me and I will tell you." He said.

"You don't even know me, Mr. Nancy."

"Well, I want to get to know you, otherwise we wouldn't still be having this conversation." He said, "Do you want to get to know me?"

"I think so." You said, he held out his undamaged hand to you and you shook it.

"My name is Anansi, and it's wonderful to finally meet you." He said and bowed his head and kissed your hand, and when he asks your name you tell him. You don't know it then but you love him, someone so in love with who you are, starting with your name and every other story that you're apart of. You expected dinner much later, perhaps in a couple days but it didn't take much prodding to get you out. Randy's food at the divebar wasn't very good and you didn't feel like fiddling with the oven tonight.

----

You wished that you could properly explain to your son that his father was a God and that made him half and if he chose have kids that would make them a fraction and yet with all the potential of full Gods. There just never is enough time and never a correct way. Even you struggle at times, Anansi appears to just be a man, impeccably dressed, always on time, and two steps ahead at any given time. You had time to walk away, if anyone could imagine doing such a thing, but you knew something was diffferent, something was wrong. Anansi warned you that he got mixed up with some bad people, that bad times might be coming eventually, gave you time to leave, time to ask questions. Maybe you didn't want to know, perhaps you thought you already knew, you suspected he was a criminal but never a God.

Sometimes he's in two places at once, some times things fall to the floor, teleport across the room, but there are times when he is so far removed from you, nothing can bring him back from that place. You were tired of being ignored, once upon a time being Nancy's girl meant something but now it meant going to bed alone and waking up alone, sometimes with Anansi having not moved from his spot in a chair at all. You came in, surprised he wasn't in a haze, he seemed to be waiting on you.

"You're late." He said. An observation and an accusation. You weren't cheating on him, you could, there were so many who wanted you and yet here you were...alone in your own relationship. The perks of being Nancy's girl.

"So." You said, he went days at a time in the same household and yet not saying a word. How dare he get up for going one night without seeing you. You'd met up with co-worker, Higgler, went out for drinks. No harm in that.

"I waited."

"I didn't ask you to do that."

"I must be confused," He said and stood up and walked into the the kitchen and came to stand beside you. "Is something wrong?"

"No, you tell me, Anansi."

"Are you drunk?" He asked, yes, you were but that wasn't why this was happening. This conversation was begging to be had for a while now.

"Does it matter? Would you even care?"

"I care. Of course I care." He said, then said your name softly and pulled you into his arms. You stay still for a moment but it's hard to resist him, always has been since the moment you met him.

"Why won't you just talk to me?" You asked softly into his chest.

"Would you believe me if I told you?"

"You've never struggled with being convincing before." You said and looked up at him. Then he smiled at you, looked through you and then pulled away.

"Take a seat."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm about to tell you who I am and you should probably sit down." He said, so you do and he does tell you. Your head doesn't split open and you don't die but initially you think he's lying. He can't be a God! He just can't be! It's your human nature to emphatically deny what you don't understand.

It takes more than him politely explaining who and what he was. He sighed heavily and walked away from you. He stood in the center of the kitchen and raised one hand and touched the ceiling and flattened it, then his other hand and used his weight to pivot and climb the ceiling. If that wasn't enough, his forehead was lined with eyes and large fangs extended from his mouth. A birth defect? A disability, possibly. He can see this is a lot and came to sit at his feet.

“This can be a lot for most people.” He said.

“I’m not most people.” You said.

“I know, that’s why I chose you.” You looked down at him and took the cigarette from his hand and he lit it for you.

“What type of God are you?” You ask after a long while, you go through two more cigarettes before you feel steady enough.

“Jack of all trades.” He said. “The people need to be safe and laugh.”

“You make them all laugh?”

“I can change the story but not completely remove it, important parts have to stick. Humans are sticky and linked to one another, I can only ease the journey.” He said. “Wisdom in the form of entertainment has been easiest, you know it’s hard to tell a stupid motherfucker they’re doing something wrong.”

“Are you apart of my story?”

‘Do you want me to be?” He asked, you stand up and he doesn’t look away. Perhaps, reflecting during these final moments you see what it is. Blind faith. He believed in you. Despite him hating fate, kismet, whatever you wanted to call it, he always knew you’d choose him. Like a good book, you’d always return, even if there was an entire ocean separating you. If you couldn’t then he’d come to you. He couldn’t unmake himself a God, much like your boy won’t be able to burn away that part that calls out and sings so sweetly. You held out your hands to him and he took them.

“How long can you stick to the roof?”

“It’s not a party trick.” He said and wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight and spinning around with you. When he placed you back down you were standing in the bedroom.

“Says who, spiderman?” You asked and you both laugh. It’s a period of adjustment like nearly everything in your life.

----

You ultmately wish for your boy to understand that everything has a sunrise and sunset. You loved Anansi inspite of every red flag you ever saw crop up, and there came a time where loving and being in love wasn't enough. He was your husband, your best friend and beacuse of that you came to a proper agreement. A moment would come when this world and this war was too dangerous. Your boy, charlie, loathed his father because they were too much alike, both parading around in facades, both busybodies in the worst ways, both too damned pigheaded to say what was on their mind truly at times.

"So you're going to leave?" He asked, it was one of the dumbest thing you'd heard him say. You were finally debased to obvious observations, he was always so well spoken and right now he was holding up a wall watching you in your living room. You'd moved from Chicago to Florida, created a life for one another, brought a child into the world, spoke truth into the world only to watch it crumble away partly due to an invisible war you never saw and the fact Anansi spent more times chasing stories than keeping you happy. Those stories always came in many faces, younger, healthier, livelier people who seemed so different from you.

"Bags are packed. This is where we should leave things."

"You're being very cordial about this."

"And you're smiling, are you happy about this too?" You said and pointed out, he ran his tongue over his teeth and tried to remove the smile but failed. He was angry, but so were you for so many reasons you'd never share. If he loved stories so much he could keep up with them without embarassing his son every forty five minutes and neglecting his wife, he'd always be a God and you'd always be a human who might have bit off more than she could chew. Charlie was a God too, no matter how shy and withdrawn he'd became.

"I know what you're thinking." He said and slid his hands into his pcokets.

"I assure you don't." You said, "Maybe in another time but I can't--"

"Can't what?"

"Can't play second fiddle forever to whatever story you're chasing." You said, "Not for you or for any man."

"Maybe not a man, but a God?" He asked. He pushed off the wall and walked over to you. After years together charm wears off, the butterflies die but familiarity never changes. Falling into step has become second nature, you are so far from the young woman impressed by the cool headed man with brute strength who won every battle before he ever picked an arena. "I know you think you're making the right choice."

"And what do you think?" You asked, "And I want you to really tell me, no cheating, no looking into the future."

"I think that no matter where you go, all you have to do is call and I'll come."

"You'll have three more people moved in before the end of the week." You said, you need to say it so that you know this is really over.

"Doesn't make it any less true." He said and you hold out your hand to him.

"When I'm gone, promise you'll be here for him, he'll need you." You said, he took your hand and dropped down onto one knee and kissed the back of it.

"I'll do my best."

"That's all I can ask for." You said and placed your hand on the top of his head and then pulled away and lifted up your last bag and started towards the door. "If I ever call...it will be to say goodbye."

"So this isn't goodbye." He said and teleported beside the door.

"No, this is just farewell for now." You said and walked out. You don't look back, you don't need to, you don't know exactly what binds him here but hopes he finds something to free himself.

----

You hope one day he understands that his father is not a man and will never behave like one. He doesn't have to, he's not even bound to this planet let alone it's rules, but you hope one day that Fat Charlie realizes he is so much more than just a man and to live the life he really wants to. You can feel when the life starts to leave you and you want all your affairs in order. You move across the country and then out of the country and Charlie followed. He grew bitter and irritated with his father seeing his flambouyant and exuberant personality as a flaw instead of something to carve out in himself. You don't expect cancer to take you, but you've lived a full life and hope Charlie does the same.

You don't expect Anansi to actually show, you don't expect the band, or the kiss that would knock you off your feet if you weren't already in bed plugged up to machines. The nurses enjoy the change in pace and so does Christine, your roommate. Anansi is lively and brings a bottle to celebrate your new change in life, or so he calls it that.

"I'm sick." You said, "I'm dying."

"You're all dying, but it's not a bad thing, and I'm right here, like I promised."

"Still a man of your word down to the parade." You said, you thought the times you got drunk and waxed poetic he hadn't paid attention. You were glad some things hadn't slipped through the cracks. "Talk to Charlie?"

"No, no, you know how he is. Always on about something."

"He's your son and when I'm gone he's all the family you got left."

"You consider yourself family?"

"You wouldn't cross an ocean for no reason." You said. He slid his chair closer, placing his hand over yours.

"You look good." He said, he's older now, or that's what he wants you to think. A little sag here, a bit more hunched over. You've watched him shift his entire body to fit his agenda, this is no different.

"I'm old and bald, Mr. Nancy." You said,

"Call me Anansi."

"Or whatever I want, right?"

"Right." He said and laughed. "But you look good regardless of what you've got. If you could do anything, what would you do?"

"Besides live?"

"Yes, besides that." He said and held your hand in his. His hands have grown harder, rougher. Less story telling, more fighting, much more hard work than he ever should've been used to.

"I want to travel, really see the world, you know I always talk about it but things got in the way, and then Charlie came and I couldn't just take off."

"Yeah, I think I'd lead that boy to an early grave." He said and you both laugh together. A hearty laugh that you didn't know you needed. "Well let me get some things in order first and you'll have it."

"Look, Anansi--"

"You're Nancy's girl, right? You'll have what you need." He said, and you believe him. A spinner of tales he might be but never a liar, at least when it came to you. "Say it."

"I'm too old for this shit."

"No, I'm too old for this. You're exactly where you're supposed to be." He said and you smile, it's been so long since you've done that, you've done more smiling now than you have in the last couple of years. "Say it."

"Say what?"

"You're Nancy's girl."

"I'm your girl." You said and smile again, you mean it, after all these damn years away from him, only an hour together and you've fell back into patterns.

"Kiss on it?" He asked, ever the slick and sly trickster. It has been many years since you've kissed him, it's not just flesh to flesh, he can pour something into you that you didn't know you needed.

"If that's why you came then sure."

"No not the only reason but you know you got what'll make a man sell his soul to the devil and cross the sea." He said, he stood up and leaned over you, not making you work too hard. He leaned on the button helping you lean back and pressed his lips to yours, tilting your head up. You feel it, a tingle, something that starts to brighten and jump to life inside you. You are not a spring chicken anymore, but he makes parts of you spring to life as if you were in the first bloom of your life. "Damn, girl."

"What are you on about?" You asked.

"Nothing, you called, I came, like I told you I would. I've got to get back before anyone knows I'm missing."

"Don't forget to say goodbye to your son."

"Oh, I won't." He said and raised your hand up one final time and kissed the back of it. You watch him go and know you'll see him again but you won't be among the living, this is your last time. You are unsurprised when your tests come back negative and you're discharged. The cancer is gone, dead within seconds, and when you return home you find plane tickets waiting on your counter. Anansi is more than a man and that's okay, you hope Fat Charlie sees that.

-----

You are dead. You know that. You hope Charlie can learn to forgive his father for being so boisterous, larger than life and embarassing, but he is his father's child and it is hard for them to see eye to eye on any damn thing. You rise from the hotel bed and walk over to the balcony and you wait for him because you know he's going to come, or you're going to find him. The land of the dead is silent, there are others, you can see them walking about, playing in the park, running with their dogs, kissing and holding hands, going on strolls. For a moment you think you won't see him, you leave, no need to gather your things, you won't need them.

Anansi once told you about the after life, about what may or may not await you depending on which road you walked. You knew he said he'd never be far behind and you believe that, you believe in him. You step out of the hotel, turn right and walk, going purely on intuition, the hotels and beach towns wash away, through the forests you continue, climb the necessary hills. As you come upon a different world you note your knees don't hurt, your feet don't ache and neither does your back. At the top of a hill is a cave, you pass through the mouth of it and felt something shake and shimmer over you as you enter the room.

It is a large single room, a grate pit in the center of the room surrounded by cushions. There are portraits on the orange walls and shadows dance about the room, you're sure exactly from where. He is laying back on the cushions, his head is pillowed on his arm and staring up at you. He is different, more himself, his true self. His hair is longer, and he has many eyes that line his forehead, and many arms that line his torso. He has a book hand, is weaving with another and waving from a completely different hand.

"You found me." He said.

"For now, I don't think I can stay here, can I?" You asked.

"Not the end of your journey, I'm afraid. Soul like yours comes around once in every few flashes."

"Flashes?"

"It's complicated. You'll learn. All afterlifes are the same in one way or another."

"How much time do we?"

"Oh, as much as you want." He said and dug between the cushions and held a bag of sand. "Sand of times, snatched it off some kid on the way home. Felt like we'd need some time together."

"For what?"

"Whatever you want."

"And Charlie?"

"He'll be fine, smart kid with a good head on his shoulders." He said, he pushed himself up and kept tossing the bag up in the air.

"Tell me what you did when I left." She said.

"Now that is a story..." He said, you walked over to him and the things he semed to be doing to keep himself busy disappeared. He welcomed you with open arms, when you wrap your arms around him the room changes with a snap. You are back in the bar you met in, you pull away and look up. Yes. This is Randy's. Same dumpy dive bar where he inserted himself in your life and you let him. He walked away and over to the bar and picked up the glass of bloodied glass shards, tainted alcohol and ash from his cigarette.

"WHat's is this about?" You asked. He picked up the second glass and poured it into the concoction.

"Drink it."

"You think I'm crazy?"

"You trust me, right?" He said and held it out to you, "Besides, you're already dead."

"There's so much worse you can do."

"Says who?"

"Says whoever you snatched that sand from." You said.

"Touche." He said, but you drink it anyway. A drink. A potion. Whatever it is it makes your head spin, you feel whatever entity you are shift and turn inside out and the sound from Randys came back but it was different. Not a dusty dive bar but the scent of it is still the same and so is the chipped bar. You and Anansi stood at the back of the crowded bar, someone at the front was tearing it up on a saxophone.

"I made arrangements." Anansi said.

"For?"

"Our boy." He said, and yes, why it is Charlie but he's different. Alive in a way you could never put your finger on as his mother. But you see it, at his core, what makes him a God and a man and they're not at war with one another.

"True to your word, why does that make me feel like we're coming to the end of our journey?"

"We'll meet again, a soul like yours, shines too bright." He said. You nod your head in agreement, you sip the drink again and feel yourself start to break and shift. Charlie climbs down from the makeshift stage and tries to part the crowd, but you are dust in the wind.

Blood.

Glass.

Liquor.

Ash.

----

You are flesh, bone and free will, but you do not have direction. Perhaps that's why you hover here at Mausoleum of the fallen. The entities that are sculpted here are beautiful some made of marble, others onyx, you walk by and sense that you are not alone. You know you are a flash, a shift in the cosmic energy and a rarity, you will continue to hide amongst of the morals, walk between the worlds of Gods and mortals....and then there they are far in the back of the Mausoleum.

"What are you?" You asked.

"Choice." They said, the God walked out, impeccably dressed, "Always on time, I see."

"I don't understand."

"You will."

"Gods have never come to meet me before."

"This is different and I'm not just any God," He said.

"How many flashes have we suffered one another?" You asked, you're not sure but instinct in not something you need to find. This multi-eyed creatures stares at you with fondness.

"Seventeen."

"That is not chance, that is planned." You said.

"Yes."

"Why is this different?" You asked, They held up a tumbler of alcohol with ash and glass shards floating in it. You look away back to the statues, there are handfuls of Gods that are necessary, some haven't been seen in eons, they play it fast and loose and are wild cards. You wonder which one he'll be.

"Just is." He said, you have no reason not to trust him despite being gifted with these instincts. You reach for the tumbler but he pulled it back away from you. "The past couple times I meddled but now you have a chance, a real chance."

"You don't think I'll choose you." You said and tilted your head to the side to study them. "Even though you chose me all these cycles."

"The last cycle was different, you walked away, for good, only called when you were about to die."

"And so you wanted to know that now I'd choose you."

"Yes."

"Fascinating."

"How so?" He sked.

"Even Gods, in all your wisdom and knowledge, have your insecurities."

"We invented them, mortals just inherit them."

"Now what will we do afterward?" You asked, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag full of sand.

"We have time to figure that out." He said and this time when you reach for the glass he allows you to take it. You drink it down down, swallowing the glass and ash and tainted alcohol, with each swallow you remember a different life, a different flash, eons of you doing this dance with him, each time you're different, the circumstances are different but the last time is by far the most daunting. Charlie. Oh, how many years has it been? Did your baby boy live well? "How do you feel?"

"Cold." You said and looked down and noticed you were naked. "I bet you think this is funny."

"Only in a cosmic way."

"Is Charlie--"

"He's fine, he's fine. Two wives, three kids, a bar. Living the dream." He said and shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over your shoulder. "We have time to catch up on him later, I've missed you."

"What do you want to do?"

"Lets go to a club, I need to stretch my legs."

"Which ones?" You said and then scoffed as you followed him out of the afterlife. You weren't sure where you were going but you trusted him enough, had trusted him after thousands of rebirths, what was so different this time? For so long you two had been together, maybe now you could stay together without the cruel hand of fate intervening. As you reached the portal you thought of one last thing. "Whatever happened to that war?"

"Oh. I ate the people that were pissing me off.. " He said.

"You're kidding."

"Only a little." He said. "No worries, no war this time, just you and me."

"The way it's supposed to be."

"The way it's always been."

#Mr. Nancy #Anansi #Anansi x Reader #Mr. Nancy x Reader #ag fic #ag

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 4 years

Text

In My Mind x 05

Firm foundations and sturdy hands

still crumble under tyranny

---

"Where exactly are you taking me," you slur through toothpaste, spitting it in the sink before rinsing. It's still early, 8:45, but he's fast, putting on clothes in his room while you take the bathroom.

"Well you need clothes, I ain't forget."

"And hair products, a curling iron, satin cap, my own body wash," you add using his mouthwash. It's good he has extras of the basics. The bathroom door is cracked so he can walk in and hand you a stick of deodorant which you jam under your arms and set in an empty drawer with your toothbrush for your own. "Okay, v-neck come through."

Full business casual, he comes up beside you in the mirror brushing his shaved sides down and you walk out to put your shoes back on, wearing the same clothes from yesterday.

The way out of the building is just as smooth as the way in. You take a staircase to a display where his glossy burgundy BMW sits with tinted windows and custom tags.. his trophy.. and then you get in. He presses a button and you sink through tinted glass looking out at the view until you reach ground and the wall goes up behind you allowing him to back out onto pavement.

"I'll never get over that," you mumble looking through the side mirror to watch the opening shut. His own private entrance. A 'sky garage' he called it.

"Nia.."

"Hm.."

"What do you think about Black Wall Street?" He's driving somewhat normal now, only six miles over the speed limit and you haven't felt like you were going to fall through the door yet which is a plus.

"Black business, black mecca."

"It's been the pinnacle of black successful business. If you look at Tulsa, Jackson Ward, Durham.. We were at the height of self-sufficiency. We had bankers, builders, mechanics, electricians, cooks, shoemakers, tailors.... hairstylists. Anything you needed, you'd get from your own people and it worked! We were putting money in each other's pockets and building wealth with each other, taking pride in our blackness instead of tryna be the third white race... you know Asians are the second."

"I was with you until that last one."

"Nia, you know what happened to all them cities?"

"They were destroyed."

"By who? Did we destroy ourselves?"

"Boy. Who are you, Dr. Umar?"

"That's what you think?"

You touch the small black, red, and green beaded necklace with the wooden brown carved Africa pendent sitting in his cupholder.

"Umar Johnson is an ignorant misogynist who uses his platform to spread false information while robbing his followers. That's what you think of me?"

You blink. "No, I only meant the superwoke part."

"Unlike him, I have a Ph.D and I don't think AIDS came from gay black men, but it was intended to decimate the black population."

"I get it, don't compare you," you mutter watching the Oakland city views through your tinted window. People are out, strutting and power-walking on sidewalks and jogging across streets to work.

"Who destroyed our black wall streets?"

"White people," you sigh giving him what he wants.

"Never forget that the US National Guard united with White Nationalists in 1921 to bomb and shoot up the Greenwood District of Tulsa. They destroyed 35 blocks of self-sufficient black business, murdering an estimated 200 people and injuring more. This is what happens when you and I pull ourselves up by our bootstraps in this country. Jackson Ward? Socio-economic assault. They built a highway right through it and put their own businesses around it to undercut our efforts. They chased us out and sent us to housing projects then filled them with drugs. You see where I'm going with this?"

"I think I'm starting to."

"Nia, you've seen my dreams, you've seen where I've been. I've stood on both sides and seen firsthand how easy it is to infiltrate and decimate an entire city, a region even with the right intelligence and firepower. Hell, I've even pulled the trigger and I'm not proud, but it was a necessary evil for me to see that it doesn't matter how strong you build or how pure your intentions are. When a government decides that you've surpassed the ceiling of poverty they've designed specifically for you they'll wipe out a generation, drug you up, and restart you from zero. Do you understand how deep this goes?"

You finger the beaded necklace in your lap. Of course you understand everything he's saying, but what he's expecting from you is a different story and you won't agree to anything prematurely.

"Where's the end," you ask. How will he know when he's accomplished this great mission he's been on for most of his life? It's all he breathes. Will he even survive without the fight as his purpose? Keeping your silence, you watch his profile as he turns left.

"Africa. Africa was the start and it'll be the end, but in the meantime we need to provide legal and physical protection here, major city by city. We need safe houses, secured and armed.. built to withstand the force of a nuclear weapon."

"How will you manage that?"

"How long will it take is the question." Pulling up to a building standing among other buildings, this one is as big as a high school with lettering across the front reading Wakandan International Outreach Center. Temporarily, you put the fact that you're supposed to be shopping to the back of your mind. You've heard of this place on the news, but somehow you didn't put this together. He parks in front of some well manicured bushes in a space marked for the CEO.

"You're the CEO?" You look around at the cars in the lot, the WIOC bus, and to the people walking inside.

"You ain't know? Ms. See Everything?"

"If I saw everything, I'd have figured this thing out between us. Don't ya think?"

He steps out and adjusts his tie. He's got the grey v-neck sweater vest, the white collared shirt underneath. The navy chinos.. and the navy oxfords.

Getting out, you spin showing off the same outfit you've been wearing and his brows raise subtly as you walk in beside him. Immediately he's rushed with greetings from the three people at the front desk, two guys and a girl, all wearing black WIOC shirts with blue and purple lettering that reminds you of a 90s paper cup pattern. Very stylish and retro.

The girl with the baby face and two long feed-in braids, is reaching out, grabbing your hand to stamp with some sort of mallet which he gently blocks with two fingers on her wrist before it makes contact.

"Shakila, this is an affiliate," he stares. The girl straightens, backing up meekly and the guy to her right.. the one with a rougher feel and a troublesome glint in his eye can't be over 21, you guess. He rolls out from behind the desk and you see he's wearing all black roller skates with orange and green swirled wheels. They look custom.

"72 people in the building, boss, counting you two. Ghost and Slim out patrolling, say we gotta bluebird.. 5-0 campin at Fuller's they up to something but they been quiet..up there since about 8:15 this morning."

"Keep watching. Let me know if anything changes."

"Yezzir." He rolls off down the hall and makes a right, disappearing.

"Donnie, how you doin," Erik asks the man who's been reading a magazine, chillin. He's bald, light skin, and looks over 40. He's also as big as Erik! His muscles make his t-shirt took like a muscle shirt, it's tight, but it seems more of a personal style choice than an issue of not being able to get a bigger shirt.

Erik taps the desk before continuing down a short hall that splits into three and you walk alongside him, making a left when he makes a left and passing two young boys in the hall.

"An affiliate?"

"They thought I was bringing you in for assistance," he clarifies and your face scrunches. "But you and your salon might be interested in becoming affiliates after I give you the tour."

"Really? Wow.." This thing with him just keeps getting stranger.

"This is the women's dorm," he stops in front of a large expanded room, a space filled with about.. "Twenty beds, ten bunk beds. Forty women can sleep here with their kids. They call and we hold the spot or they show up and take it. That's all the beds we could fit in there but I'm thinking of expanding. The men's dorm is on the other side of the building. Don't worry, we have security. No incidents yet. Further down," he leads and you follow him down the clean tile hall. He takes you into another opening that says locker room.

"It's like a YMCA in here." You turn looking all through at the rows of lockers with actual locks, the showers, four toilet stalls, four sinks.

"There are 60 lockers, eight showers, eight stalls, eight sinks, two washers, and two dryers."

"Y'all water bill high." Looking back to him, he smiles and nods for you to head out into the hall again as you follow him. "This place is nice, if I didn't have my apartment, I'd try to stay someplace like this."

"It's our safe place for homeless kids and families or just people who need a place to be without having to look over their shoulder, wondering where their meal coming from or who's after them."

Pausing, you look around and Erik stops. This place is beautiful. He's even got the babies' art hanging on the walls making the place warmer.

"You good?"

"Yeah.. You know, I'd actually love to be affiliated with this place. I wanna donate. How do I do that?"

"I'm glad you asked, Nia. Keep walking with me. Let me show you the rest," he smirks, speeding up as he unlocks a door with his handprint that lights up blue.

"What the hell," you mutter staring between him and the door.

"Staff only entrance. Extra measure to keep the women safe on this side, if you wanna leave or come in, there's one way and you gotta get through security, that way you're only back here if you're supposed to be.

"Makes sense."

Through the door is another hall that's perpendicular to the one you just left. You follow him left and come to a large open cafeteria full of people sitting at tables, eating. Men, women, small children, teens, all black for the most part. There is a sprinkle of darker skin that isn't black. A mother with three young kids and then an old man.

"How do you get away with only taking black people? Isn't that 'discrimination'," you ask with air quotes. Not that you take issue with it, you're just curious. He laughs.

"When the colonizers come we just tell them we don't have the space and if there's an issue we have Donnie escort them out. We don't get governmental assistance, we're not required to run how they think we should run. We screen everyone who comes through and take who we think will benefit from our programs.

"Wow, I'm with it," you smile following him to the food line.

"Gone 'head baby," the older woman in front of him waves for you both to go ahead. He puts his hand on her back and kisses her cheek and the line ahead happily parts like the red sea letting the both of you through with a quickness. They love him. They genuinely love him. They also all have stamps on their hand. One woman is trying to pull her stubborn toddler aside and out of the way, but Erik sweeps him up and sits the boy on his hip, winking at the woman before passing you a white dish and grabbing two more.

"What you want lil man," he asks as he goes through each option fixing two plates. One (sausage links, grits, eggs, bacon, fried potatoes, pancakes, fruit cup) for himself and one (sausage links, bacon, eggs, pancake, fruit cup) for the kid.

Choosing a table, you sit with your plate (some of everything because it looks good) and Erik follows, sitting across from you with the kid and the two plates.

"I'll get the drinks," you offer heading back to pick up two glasses of apple juice, making it to the table before returning for one more glass and three straws. You pass them out and take your seat, mouth watering and ready to eat.

"Bow your head and close your eyes, please." You lower yours and wait.

"I don't close my eyes." He lowers his head and you say the prayer as the toddler reaches into Erik's plate grabbing one of his sausages. Erik doesn't look up but he shakes his head with a slow smile and you try to keep from laughing as you finish saying grace.

"Amen," you snort picking up your fork.

"This why I keep my eyes open," he points to the kid, shaking his head in humor. He sets the boy in the seat and hands him a piece of his own sausage. Looking over, you see the mom approaching with her plate and an apologetic smile.

"Lord," she sighs. She's pretty though she looks tired. "I'm so sorry, he's a handful, I know."

"Not at all," Erik smiles. She sits next to her son and he automatically starts pulling on her, saying "mama, mom, mommy," just busy, so she pulls him onto her lap to keep him still. They're both cute and remind you of Lia and her son, Jackson.

"This is Chyna.. and Orion," he palms the boy's head playfully. "Chyna, this is Nia," he nods digging into his plate.

"Hi Nia," she smiles and you reach out to take her hand, asking how she is. She's great but ready to eat, she laughs and for a while you all just focus on eating.

"Mommy," Orion starts and you understand 40% of what he just said. His mom entertains him with hums of "Really? Oh wow," as she eats, feeding bacon into his hands.

"You here for a job," she asks looking up and it's an innocent question.

"I'm here on tour of the facility, just lookin-"

"Nia is an affiliate and potential shareholder. We're in discussion," he interrupts.

"Oh okay..," Chyna's eyes widen. "So you're getting a feel of the center. Let me tell you why this place is so important," she says all humor gone.

"Me and my son have been here for the past few nights.. a few nights before that.. and then maybe a week prior." She looks to Erik and he nods.

"His father, Rashaad," she continues, gesturing to her son, "He died last month and didn't leave a dime. I talked to his family and my family and they told me I could sign over his body and the state would cremate him," she pauses, still in shock from it. "...But I couldn't do that..." Tears leak from her eyes and you look around for a napkin. She swallows, her eyes turning pink, and takes a breath. "Then there was the rent.. We hadn't paid it for the month and our extension was running out," she sniffs. "Well I had a funeral to plan, I couldn't let the state take him."

Orion, feeling her sadness, rubs her face to try to make her feel better and she tries to pull herself together.

"So ah-" she wipes her nose. "I took a chance and contacted the Wakandan International Outreach Center and they not only paid for the burial and the coffin, they sent a representative to the funeral for words of encouragement and I'll never forget that," she sighs. Erik keeps his eyes down to his plate.

"See, his daddy.. was a hood," she continues, eyes dead on yours. You know what she's talking about. You don't have to grow up in Cali to have family in the streets. "He was shot out there in the streets in a driveby...," she sniffs. "And you know.. people like to talk a lotta shit, but even if he wasn't nothing to nobody else, he was someone to me. I loved him."

"We're working on getting Chyna a higher paying job to cover her rent," Erik interjects giving her time to wipe her face.

"Yeah, they paid the rent for the month and they're paying next month. I'm taking the class on building a resume now. I'm still working at Ross, I'm just trying to do everything I can.

"You're doing a lot," you offer and Erik gestures for you to stand to follow him out. "It was good to meet you and hear your experience," you smile shaking her hand.

"Thank you, and I'm glad you're trying to help. We need more people like him," she points to Erik.

"Shit, don't boost me," he smiles. It's something he's done a lot since he's been here and you've noticed that his smile is something that brings so much peace and a sense of safety to these people. Still, looking at him you can see deep down there's a spot in him that isn't touched. It's full of rage and intense sadness that his smile can't cover. If only the peace he provided to all these people would reach him.

@thickemadame @just-juicee @kenbieeereadss @honeytoffee

Previous Chapters:

#in my mind #original #erik killmonger x oc #erik x reader #erik killmonger x black reader #erik x oc #erik killmonger x reader #black panther killmonger #killmonger #killmonger x reader #killmonger fic

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hopeless-lovex0 · 5 years

Text

I HAVE A DREAM (PART 14)

Kim Hongjoong Fanfic

Warning: Angst. Cheating. Heartbreak. Cursing. Fluff.

Hello fellow atiny’s and kpop stans 👋🏼 Part 14 of I Have A Dream is here and it's a roller coaster. For anyone confused by the timestamps, I'll give a brief explanation.

(Y/N left for 3 months which would be 3 months into her pregnancy. Ateez moves into the small village for a month and by the time they leave Y/N is already on her 4th month. Throughout her 4th month all the way to the start of her 8th she stayed in the village till finally she moved back to Seoul with her brother to spend her 8th month there till she finally entered her 9th month.)

It's all a little confusing but I hope you guys are still able to understand. With that explained I hope you guys like this weeks update, and I promise next weeks is gonna be wild 😉 Without further ado here's part 14 of IHAD

5 months later...

Various colorful lights and music played all around the city of Seoul, groups of people gathering all over the place. Multiple banners hanged all over the streets, some promoting different idols others promoting food or drinks.

In the middle of the bustling city stood a very pregnant woman, her big belly covered by a light pink thick sweater and black jacket. She waddled her ways towards a small cafe located a couple of ways away from her brother's apartment.

Y/N felt too exposed, the amount of people around her was way more than the people back in the village. To her that small village miles away was considered home, the small brick house holding so many meaningful memories in such a short time.

After the guys and her brother had left, Y/N continued her life as normal or as normal a 4-month pregnant woman could get. She continued to go to work, Mrs. Park pestering her 10x as much since she didn't have someone to care for her like her brother. She could take care of herself, but once in a while she missed her brother massaging her ankles, or wooyoung and Jongho trying their hardest to make her laugh.

In the time that they were gone, Y/N had managed to make more friends. She meet Kyung Mi’s girlfriend, the two of them complementing each other perfectly. She also meet the rest of Mrs. Park's family, Mr. Park accepting her into their comfortable home with open arms. She felt so at home with them and she honestly doesn't know how she'll be able to be away from them while in Seoul.

During her 6th month, Y/N made her way to Seoul to visit the hospital she was planning on giving birth in. She only stayed for a week, and that week was the best one in her life.

She reunited with the guys again, swarming her in a group hug the minute they visited her in her brother's apartment. They took her out to eat that day, as if they were celebrating something enormous. Thinking back on it now, she laughs at the memory.

She talked to each one of them whenever they could, San calling and texting her almost every night. Sometimes they would talk about meaningless things, other nights they would talk about their future. He asked her if she considered having more children after the first one, to which she answered just one more. She asked him if he ever wanted children, to which he answered 2.

Every question they asked each other seemed to compliment each others answer. San wanted a small wedding in his home town, something that Y/N encouraged. Y/N wanted a honeymoon in Venice, wanting to visit the Rialto Bridge. San fully supported her, agreeing that it was a beautiful destination.

In whatever one of them desired, the other one would agree 100% or have the same in common. It's as if destiny desperately said they belonged together, and slowly they started to believe they did.

After her visit, she went back home to the little village far away. She continued to daily routine, going to work and occasionally going to her clinic appointments. From her 4th month leading towards her 8th month, she stayed in the village with Mrs. Park and Kyung Mi both of them doing their best to help their pregnant friend.

After her third trimester came, Y/N and Mrs. Park started to pack her hospital bag. Mrs. Park packing tons of baby clothing, pink and blue for when Y/N finally figured out the baby's gender. They keep the bag in Mrs. Park’s car for when they both traveled back to Seoul.

When she entered her 8th month, they packed Y/N’s suitcase and started their commute to her brother's apartment. That's where she spent her whole 8th month until she finally entered her 9th month.

That's where she was now, 9 months pregnant and standing in front of a little cafe. Entering the dimly light establishment, Y/N quickly scanned the place before she finally found who she was looking for.

Walking up to the older woman, her back towards her Y/N brings up her hands and covers her eyes. “ Guess who~~~~” she sings out, the older woman letting out a small laugh in return. “ I could be wrong but are you perhaps my annoying daughter?” she says, causing Y/N to gasp out in fake shock.

“ ANNOYING!? If anyone is annoying its Youngji!” Y/N yells out, crossing her arms and pouting like a little kid. “ You are right about that, Youngji does take after your father.” Her mother says as she gets up her seat and grabs Y/N by her shoulders.

“ Let me take a good look at you, I haven't seen you since you moved away darling.” She says, giving Y/N a once over before bringing her in for a hug. “ Oh how much I missed you, my princess.” She mumbles into Y/N’s shoulder, having shoved her whole face in the crook of her neck.

Returning the hug as much as she can with her big belly, they both relish in the comfort of their embrace. “ I missed you too mom.” Y/N says, getting emotional over not seeing her mother for such a long time. “ I missed you more.” her mother mumbles back.

Pulling away, her mother leads her towards the opposite seat from hers. They both sit together in silence just reading the menu and then placing their order to the waiter walking by. Her mother examines her, the sight of her only daughter about to have a child of her own causing her to get choked up. “ How have you been? How’s my grandchild treating you?” She asks, watching as Y/N rubs the bottom of her swollen stomach.

“ They've been super active recently, I guess it's because I'm already close to my due date. I've been good as well, other than the swollen boobs and not being able to see my feet anymore everything else is going well.” Y/N chuckles out, her mother snickering at her in return. “ Oh honey I know exactly how you feel. Youngji and you were so hyper during my last month, I swear I thought you guys would be great soccer players in the future with how hard you guys would kick me.” She laughs out, Y/N smiling at her mothers carefree behavior.

“ How's Youngji by the way? I called him the other day to see if he could join us today but he never answered back.” Her mother asks, playing around with the fork in front of her. “ Youngji has been really busy lately. The company he works at is growing fast and they are keeping him busy since he is the best worker there. He also asked me to tell you that he's sorry he couldn't answer, and that he loves you.” Y/N says, leaning forward and grasping one of her mother's hand.

“ Oh my poor baby, they are probably working him down to the bones. I hope he takes a break soon, his friends as well.” Her mother says, eyebrows furrowed in worry for her son and his friends. After their little conversation, their food gets to them causing them to eat in a comfortable silence.

Halfway through their meal, Y/N’s phone pings with a notification. Quickly picking it up, she checks her phone and starts to giggle to herself typing out a quick response then putting it down after. “ Who was that, darling?” Her mother questions, her curiosity peeked once she saw the big smile on her daughter's face.

“ It was San, he wanted to let me know that he'll be busy with his group's promotion today and that he'll call me later tonight.” Y/N carelessly says, missing the questioned eyes her mother gives her. “ Are you guys a thing?” She questions, causing Y/N to choke on her drink water snorting out of her nose from the question she was just asked.

Patting her chest, she shakes her head furiously while a bright red blush creeps up her face. “ OF COURSE NOT MOTHER!!! What makes you think that?!” Y/N exclaims, fanning and patting her face to get rid of the hot feeling covering her entire face. “ You got a glow in your eyes when you mentioned him. I know because your grandfather used to get the same look too when he talked about your grandmother.” She says, watching as her daughter avoids her stare by playing around with her food.

“ I don't know what you mean by that. I don't love him mother.” Y/N snaps back, feeling way to vulnerable for her liking. “ I never said you loved him. I just asked if you guys were together.” Her mother quickly defends herself, Y/N still refusing to meet her eyes. “ I- I won't date him mother... ever.” Y/N mumbles out, appetite completely gone by that point.

“ You won't date him? Or is it more like you can't date him ?” She questions again, receiving silence in return. “ Baby.. Are you scared that whatever happened with Hongjoong will happen with San?” Her mother asks, reaching forwards and taking her daughter's hands in hers.

Swallowing down a lump rising up her throat, Y/N clears it before finally speaking. “ It would be different this time if that happened. I'm scared to open up my heart like that again. What if he gets tired of me like how Hongjoong did? I'm about to have a child, what if he decides that he doesn't want my kid because it's hongjoong’s and leaves me for someone else. I can't go through that again mom, I can't put my child through something like.” Y/N says, watching as her mother rubs soothing circles on her hands.

“ Oh my poor baby, that will not happen with San. You want to know how I know that..? Because from that single smile and glow in your eyes I see that San makes you twice if not more times happier than Hongjoong ever did. Don't think that because that good for nothing ex wasn't able to keep his dick in his pants that San will do it as well. From what your brother has been telling me, San is trying his best to gain your attention. Knowing that you're pregnant, but still trying to gain your love I'll say that he's already better than Hongjoong will ever be.” Her mother rants on, voice hardening when she mentions Hongjoong’s name.

“ You really think so mom...That someone like him would even look at me that way..?” Y/N questions, voice small with insecurity. Her mother lifts up her head to look at her, giving her a heartwarming smile. “ I know so baby. You deserve so much more than Hongjoong and I can tell that San can give you that. You just need to open up your heart darling, you'll regret it if you don't. That child that your carrying might not be his, but he still stuck around to take care of you and my grandchild. To me that's a real man, and that's exactly what you my darling daughter need. An amazing man to love you and your baby unconditionally.” Her mother continues on, watching as her daughter breaks out in a small smile.

Y/N shakes her head, smile stretching out more as her mother comforts her. “ How do you know what to say every time I'm feeling down?” she chuckles out, bringing her mothers hand up to her lips and kissing them.

“ Oh darling it comes with being a mother! You'll know once that little bundle of pure joy is born.” she laughs out, tapping her pointer finger on her daughter's head.

They both continue to chat throughout their lunch date, laughing and reminiscing on old memories they had while still living together. Her mother talked to her about the time she spent taking care of her and her brother, giving her tips on how to take care of a new born as well.

Sooner than later, their little lunch date came to an end. They both stood right in front of the cafe, bidding their goodbyes’s as well as her mother giving Y/N’s stomach a kiss. Walking her mother up to her car, they both bid each other one final goodbye before her mother finally drives away.

Turning the opposite way, Y/N begins to make her way to her brothers apartment.

Halfway through her journey, she started to feel small sharp pains start up towards her lower back. Y/N stopped walking for a second, placing a shaky hand on her abdomen rubbing it slightly. “ You really are ready to come out huh?” She whispers to herself, standing there for a couple more seconds before finally continuing her way back home.

Standing in front of her brothers apartment building, she bids the front desk person a hello then makes her way towards the elevators. Getting in the small space, she begins to ascend towards the 6th floor continuing to rub her abdomen lightly as she still feels some discomfort creeping up.

Arriving to her floor, she walks out the elevator and quickly makes it into the apartment. Closing the door, she carefully leans against it as another sharp pain strikes against her back. Feeling short of breath, Y/N makes her way towards the sofa and drops her entire body on it. The pain last for a couple more seconds before finally going away, her back tingling from the previous pain.

“ It's probably because I'm so close to my due date already.” Y/N mumbles out, staying on the sofa as she caresses her stomach, feeling the rise of her flesh due to the baby kicking more and more.

Struggling to get up, she grabs her phone and checks for any missed calls or messages but is meet with nothing. Usually around that time her brother will call her to make sure she had eaten, and San will usually text her but she's meet with neither of those things. She figures that her brother must be backed up in the company and that San is currently busy with the rest of ateez.

Dropping her phone on the sofa, she makes her way towards the kitchen to grab something to eat. Before she can even make it there, she gets a sharp pain on her lower abdomen the pain so intense it causes her to double over. Huffing out, she walks up to the dining table and drags a chair out fumbling with it for a couple seconds then finally sitting down.

She stays there as the pain continues to increase quickly, coming and going a couple more times. There's no way I'm having this baby now! I still have two weeks before they get here! Y/N panics in her mind, wincing when the pain only seems to increase more and more.

Turning her head towards the clock hanging over the stove, she notices that her brother doesn't get out for another 4 hours. Debating whether she should call him, another pain (which she now begins to think are contractions) shots through her back and towards her stomach. Nodding to herself, she stands up with shaky legs and makes her way towards the living room where she left her phone.

Halfway through making her way to the living room, a sharp pain more stronger than the others causes her to cry out. Hunching over, she pants out multiple times before she eventually notices the small puddle under her feet. Staring at it in panic, she realizes the severity of the situation and as fast as she can makes her way towards the sofa and snatches her phone laying on it.

As fast as her fingers can type, she immediately dials her brother's number only to meet with the voicemail option. Cursing out she continues to dial her brother 4 more times before finally giving up and dialing San instead.

She prays that he'll answer right away, but is meet with the same results. She lets out a small sob from how scared she is, then takes a deep breath in order to calm down her racing heart and shaking hands. Redialling San’s number, she's once again meet with the monotone voice requesting her to leave a voicemail.

Finally breaking down, she sobs into her hand from how fast everything is happening and all without help from someone she knows and trust. Giving up on calling her brother and San, she turns to the only other person who she knows will help her without a second thought.

Trembling fingers hurriedly press a serious of numbers on the phone, bringing up to her ear when she's done typing in the phone number. The other line rings two times, before a shocked voice answers the call.

“ H-Hello..? Y/N is this you..?” the person questions, voice cracking when they call out her name.

Y/N can only cry out once another contraction hits her, body curling in with pain.

“ Y/N?!?? ARE YOU OKAY?!” they question, mind on high alert the second Y/N cried out.

“ H-Hongjoong.. Where's San.?” she hisses out through clenched teeth, trying to hold in the rest of her cries.

“ SAN? San’s with the rest of the guys in the practice room. The manager made them stay extra hours for slacking off and took their phones away.” Hongjoong explains, getting up from his work chair and making his way towards the door of the dorms.

Hearing that, Y/N sobs out again both from pain and knowing that she can't depend on him in that moment.

“ Y/N..? Hello? Please tell me your okay?! Did you just call me to ask from San..?” he questions, waiting for Y/N to answer back.

“ Hongjoong please listen to me. I need your help right now. Can you pick me up from my brother's apartment? You know where Youngji lives right?” Y/N fires questions left and right, not giving Hongjoong time to question her.

“ CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!? WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY ASKING ME TO PICK YOU UP?!” He screams out, mind all over the places from everything Y/N is throwing at him.

The line stays silent for a couple of seconds and Hongjoong is about to apologize in case Y/N got mad at him for screaming at her. Before he can even open his mouth, Y/N screams back at him. The words she utters out causing Hongjoong to freeze in shock.

“ MY WATER JUST BROKE ASSHOLE! NOW CAN YOU PLEASE PICK ME UP CUZ I REALLY DON’T WANT TO GIVE BIRTH ON A DIRTY OLD CARPET!” she screams out, wincing after when a contraction hits.

“ W-what...?” Hongjoong whisper out, soul completely leaving his body.

“ The baby is.. Coming..?”

#ateez #ateez angst #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop angst #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho

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lady-snavely · 3 years

Text

Sands of Time: Part Three

Blossomed Feelings

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsuro x Fem!OC

Warnings: mentions of death, swearing, mutual pining, all the fluff

A/N: as always, reblogs are super appreciated!

Like every other day when they came in, she was on her break. Today, she was perched in a window in the children's area with her legs drawn up loosely. There was a book in her hand, presumably the same one from a couple of days ago. Hidden safely beneath the tent of her knees was a steaming mug.

Jade's ears perked, her attention momentarily divided when she heard Bokuto, obnoxious as ever, greet her coworkers across the building. She was sure he included an exaggerated wave as well. Her advanced hearing, one of the few bonuses of being Fae, even allowed her to hear Daichi silence Bokuto with a low warning.

"There's a big enough table over there that's free." He was telling the group. She knew exactly which table he was referring to as she'd made sure it was clear before she went on break twenty minutes ago.

With a sigh, she closed her book and stood gingerly so as not to disturb her drink. The study group was her queue that her break was over soon. Still, finishing the chapter sounded real nice.

Nonetheless Jade found herself smiling as she glided through the aisles that were as familiar to her now as her own apartment. Her thoughts were with the oddball company of heroes and heroines from her book. Even preoccupied she nodded politely at the group of boys taking their places at the table.

"Fancy seeing you here again."

"Good afternoon to you too, Kuroo," she replied without stopping. "You all know where to find me if you need help with anything."

Yaku snickered and jabbed his elbow into Kuroo's ribs. "She didn't even bother to look at you."

"Her break's about over," Akaashi defended. "Iwaizumi messaged me a few moments ago, he and Oikawa won't be joining us tonight."

"Good, they can keep that stomach bug away from us then," Daichi grumbled.

"Please, they're probably having their own fun." Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"I wouldn't put it past them," Akaashi murmured. He turned to Bokuto and gave him a warning glare. "Make sure you actually work on your Maths today. You nearly failed your last test."

For well over an hour Kuroo was able to focus on his studying despite his loudmouth of a friend sitting across from him. Bokuto came along more for the social aspect than anything else. Not that any of them really cared the way Akaashi did, study group was the only chance they had during the week to get together anyway.

With a small groan Kuroo stood. He needed a break to stretch his legs. He wandered the shelves aimlessly, stopping on occasion to read a synopsis or two before continuing on. He really didn't have much free time at the moment, what with midterms starting to ramp up. Still, Kuroo made a mental note of books to read once the workload began to die down.

"-depends on what you're interested in, honestly." He overheard Jade saying. "Let's start off with something simple to help narrow it down. Are you looking for a stand alone story or a series?"

Kuroo, for reasons unknown even to himself, hid two aisles over and listened in on the exchange. Since starting at the nearby university last year he'd learned quickly that Jade was good at her job. Great even. Any time he'd needed help with research or simply pointed in the right direction, she'd been prompt with answers. Sometimes she even went above the call to suggest further material that always seemed to have more information than he'd ever need.

Still it amazed him that in a matter of a few questions Jade was excitedly showing the younger guest a section that would entertain her. "I'm a little older than the intended audience but this series here in incredible. But if you're interested in something a little more magickal - and I don't mean witches and wizards - then I suggest this series just here."

With a faint smile Kuroo turned from the duo to head back to his studying. "Fuck," he hissed when he ran into and nearly knocked over Yaku. "Creepy little shit. What are you doing?"

Yaku glared up at his taller friend with a wicked grin. "If I'm creepy what do you call what you were just doing?" He countered. A quick peek around Kuroo gave Yaku the answer he needed. "Admiring the view?"

Kuroo looked over his shoulder and saw the girl from before already devouring the suggested book. Jade was nowhere to be seen. "She's a bit young for me, don't you think?"

Yaku rolled his eyes. Sometimes he really wondered if Kuroo was, in fact, a total moron. Kuroo's infatuation with the Human girl had become more and more evident over the last year. There were some not so obvious clues, like how he just happened to run into her when he was wandering around, or how he had started zoning out in classes. Then there was the blindingly obvious: watching her like creep from the other aisle while she helped other guests, for example. "Come back to the table," he finally sighed. "I need help with the Biology assignment."

"My time to shine," Kuroo smirked.

"Don't go getting an ego."

"I would never."

Both girls were seemingly non the wiser to what had transpired only two aisles away.

Daichi, Akaashi and Yaku continued to study dutifully while Bokuto successfully managed to distract Kuroo. Jade had only one other guest after the younger girl had left with two new books in hand.

Even with that one person closing time seemed to come a little too soon for Jade. They always did on days the study group came in. She enjoyed listening to their friendly banter and teasing, they were good company and often pulled her into their conversations on slower nights.

Tonight was no different than any other night the group came in. It was closing time and they were still there, sitting at the same table they'd procured from the moment they walked in hours before. However, studying had been thrown out the window some time ago she recalled as she made her way over. Currently they were chatting, all but Bokuto and Yaku, who had fallen asleep.

Propping a hand on the back of Akaashi's chair she sighed, forcing disappointment into her words. "Time for me to lock up guys."

"Is it that time already?" Daichi glanced at his phone before sighing himself and rubbing at his eyes. "Sorry to be a bother again, Jade."

"I tell you every time: you aren't a bother, Daichi," Jade shrugged. "Libraries have always been around for a reason. Apparently a good location for a power nap is one of them." She roused Yaku gently, giving him a warm smile when he blinked up at her. "Closing time sleepy head."

"We'll get out of your hair as soon as we wake Bokuto," Akaashi assured her.

"Take your time, I've got some cleaning to finish up anyway."

Jade turned away but not before catching the mischievous grin on Kuroo's face. Just as she expected, the indistinguishable thud of a dropped stack of books met her ears. "Wake up!"

"Bro!" Bokuto whined. Jade's nose wrinkled at the shout. No matter how much she heard it she would never get used to that term.

"Time to go, Bokuto," Kuroo said without a hint of apology in his voice.

Kuroo waited by the checkout counter for Jade to come out of the back office. Over the past year it had become a sort of habit for him to wait for her while she clocked out and locked the building up for the night. In more than one hundred attempts she had yet to agree to, at the very least, allowing him to walk her to the bus stop. Maybe tonight would be different? There was only one way to know for sure.

"Ready to go, Kuroo?"

"Only if you are!" He replied. A triumphant smile adorned his face when a soft chuckle met his ears. Kuroo clasped his hands, fingers knit together tightly before asking, "Would you like some company on your way home tonight?"

It came as no surprise to Kuroo that she didn't reply right away. She emerged from the back office with the satisfied smile that came from finally being off the clock. "Thank you, but I'll be okay on my own tonight."

Kuroo cocked his head to the side for a moment before nodding. "One of these days you'll say yes."

"You're so sure of yourself, Kuroo." She snickered and ducked her head to hunt for her keys in her bag. "I appreciate the offer as always."

They left the building in comfortable silence. Jade tugged at the building doors, testing the locks before heaving a content sigh. "I saw you looking at some books early," she mentioned casually when they reached the sidewalk. "I can put them on hold for you. If you want, that is."

"Not with midterms in a couple weeks." Kuroo shook his head but smiled down at Jade. "That's very kind of you though."

Jade smirked. "I try my best."

Kuroo fought the urge to wrap his arm around her shoulders. He didn't know it, but she caught the twitch in his fingers. "Get home safe, okay Jade?"

"Don't worry, you'll see me all safe and in one piece on Friday, Kuroo." Jade's smile, highlighted by nearby street lights, brought an unwelcomed heat crawling up his neck.

"Right, well, good night, Jade." He retreated into the shadows quickly before she could see the blush spreading up across his cheeks.

"May sleep find you easily tonight, Kuroo." Jade dipped her head slightly before she herself hurried off in the direction of her bus stop.

Kuroo stared after her until she was out of sight before he sighed and began his journey home. When he stepped into his dorm room he wasn't surprised to see Kenma poking feverishly at the buttons of his video game. They had intrigued him from the moment he'd laid eyes on them.

Kenma's elf ears were poking through his hair, the only sign that he was no longer holding his Humanoid form. Kuroo received a murmured greeting from his long time friend as he removed his shoes.

"You missed out," he told Kenma.

"Unlikely."

Kuroo chuckled at that as he made his way into their shared room to change. As he did, he shifted with a sigh of satisfaction. It was only in their shared dorm room or when they were home visiting their folks that he and Kenma could safely shift back to their Fae forms.

"The Solstice Festival is coming up," Kuroo reminded his friend.

"Oh." Came the reply. Kenma's attention was barely pulled from his video game. Kuroo said no more on the subject, knowing full well that when the time came Kenma would leave the Human entertainment behind and return home for the Festival.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jade's heart was racing and not only because she was running. Had it been a trick of the light or had he been blushing just before she left? She supposed either were possible, even with the street lights the lighting wasn't favorable, and she was nearly a foot shorter than him so the angle was weird too. She tried not to dwell on it too much.

She didn't want to get too close to him this time around. She brushed off his advances, his attempts at getting closer, as best as she could but her job didn't allow for blatant ignoring of guests, so it was difficult. But she didn't want her heart broken. Not again.

Tears glistened in her eyes as she stood beneath the light of the bus stop. She dried them before they could fall; before they could be seen. In all her years on Earth, why was it a Human that had to come along and capture her heart?

When the bus arrived it only had a handful of occupants. Given the time of night this was to be expected and allowed Jade her pick of the crop as far as where to sit for her journey home. She hugged her knees tight to her chest when she sat, her temple leaning against the cool glass of the window at her side. Normally she would read, but she knew if she opened her book the pages would remain unturned, for try as she might, her mind raced with memories of the past. Of the wild laugh that sent the butterflies in her stomach soaring. That almost there smile that had found her time and time again over the centuries.

As much as she wanted to, Jade suppressed the desire to shift back into her Fae form as soon as her door was locked behind her. Showers were much easier without the wings getting in the way. So it wasn't until she stepped from her bathroom half an hour later that she released the invisible thread of thought that kept her Humanoid form in place.

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#haikyuu x oc #kuroo tetsuro x oc #kuroo tetsuro #haikyuu!!#snavelywrites #sands of time

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