#since I am sticking to it this month I can why I CANNOT keep going for long
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Octobear Week 2
Week 2 compilation of Octobear!
This week was a little hard. I lost motivation for much of the week (the weekdays, really). Lots of stress over assignments and midterms, so I did the daily sketches really quickly, lazily, and without heart. So, the outcome was not very great. Today, I decided to take time to sit back and watch the bears for a little longer and then started drawing. I think it turned out much better! It's a bumpy road, but I'm learning from it!
Lesson learnt (I already know it very well but it always needs repetition): Art takes time. It really does. Not just the drawing time (the actual drawing part for day 14 took just as much as the ones before). The 'time' here is for finding inspiration and allowing a vision to develop.
Day 8 - I like this Friday piece. Probably because it was Friday. and I could relax a bit knowing I have the weekend to study.
Day 9
Day 10
Day 11
Day 12
Day 13
Day 14 - I also like this one. The others? yuck. But I’m posting them anyways to show the process. That’s what happens when you draw without passion. So many mistakes. (actually I like day 12. 747 has a beautiful flat head and great shoulder hump and it was fun drawing him).
Interesting that the piece I like is also on a Friday. There is a pattern here. hmmm.
#Octobear#I'm learning a lot actually#I give up quickly on inktober challenges because october is a stressful time of the semester#since I am sticking to it this month I can why I CANNOT keep going for long#I personally need to take a lot of time absorbing the visuals around me and trying to visualize something in my head#for the pieces before the latest friday one I just watched the bears and drew without actually analytically thinking about their forms and#-and how I can depict it in the sketch through slightly stylizing it#silhouettes and forms don't show well as a still image so they have to be changed a little#that isn't something I thought a lot about as I did the daily sketches#I watched some bears a couple hours before I drew and it helped a lot???#so I learnt a personal requirement for me before drawing: I REALLY need to be mentally prepared for it#otherwise I won't do well#That's my takeaway from week 2#onto week 3 :D#animals
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You reblogged that Sam gifs post and it reminded me of that headcanon i have of being Sam’s friend but you’re feisty and take no one’s shit. Like he’s always takes the high road and you’re like when they go low i go lowER. I would fight that Akufo dude for him no questions asked.
hi wifey <3 you are absolutely right!! i fucking love that idea of Sam having a bestie who'd throw hands for him.. it's on sight all the time.
special thanks to @sokkigarden for bouncing ideas off me, love you bby. okay, i wanna write about being friends w the AFC Richmond boys more, so if yall have ANY thoughts on being friends with ANY of the lads then send me requests on it so we can DISCUSS
OKAY BUT BEING BESTIES WITH SAM OBISANYA
he's such a wholesome and loyal friend... a breath of fresh air yknow?? Dani is more of that 'unconditional sunshine' energy, but Sam is positive whilst still keeping it real w you
and sooo you're hella loyal to him too. well, you're loyal to everyone you care about. you'd take a bullet for them, no questions asked, but probs a lot of cussing involved (same, but i'll come back to this)
sharing an airpod each if yall go out on a walk or join the team on a bus ride - if you're dating jamie then he NEEDS you next to him on the ride back, probs uses your shoulder to sleep on and has an arm around your waist so you can't leave, but that's a diff post ahahaha
having a shared spotify playlist that you both keep adding music too...the vibes are all over the place. "Y/N, I was trying to jam out to J.Cole, and then Adele came on??" "Oh yea, I was sad bout something earlier"
blanket forts and microwaveable caramel popcorn for when he's missing home
playing as him in FIFA when you're with the lads and yellin "YEA THATS MY BESTIE" every time you score as him
pinching his earlobes like his dad would for good luck on the days of a big match/when he's really nervous
since opening OLA'S, you join him when he attends small business owner conventions, but that's mainly to try the free food
since i'm vegetarian, telling him that his menu looks great but you can only stick to sumn like the jollof rice.. so next month when he invites you over to his restaurant for a catchup dinner there's a whole new lil section for vegetarian dishes on the menu (or whatever dietary inclusivr thingy etc.)
warning Sam about Afuko because "a man simply doesn't feed you pasta and lobster and send you a stack without something in mind" and him being like ??? what and you groan, "did you watch the tiktoks I sent you??"
hearing about how the Afuko rejection went and Sam only focusses on "he called me medium talent??" and you're SEETHING
you're like "what the living F U C K" and he's like "oh hey Y/N, don't worry, I know I am not medium talent" and you're like "what? no, shut up, obviously not, but that's not the POINT here. how did that ASSHOLE have the audacity to speak to you like that?!!"
you're searching up flights to Nigeria and opening a google map from the airport to Afuko's business residence or something, and Sam is like, "seriously, forget that guy. bullet dodged." and you're angrily muttering about how Afuko's gonna have to dodge the bazooka you're gonna smuggle onto the plane
"We cannot be best friends if you end up in jail because you tried to smuggle a bazooka onto the plane." "I just wanna talk to him...with a bazooka." "No." "Pleas-" "No."
telling Sam you might be getting feelings for Jamie and being nervous he'd be mad because of their relationship in S1, but you promise he's changed, and Sam is like, I know
wearing the Obisanya jersey and the rest of the boys are like 'hey why don't you ever support our merch' so like every match you're switching out jerseys before texting a pic to the groupchat
running into that Francis guy who's Afuko's right-hand man and "accidentally" stepping on his foot real hard like OOPS
giving him updates on your love life and vice versa. "Y/N, please tell me this one is not a loser." "Um, Sam, shut up; you know my rizz only seems to work on losers??" "hey, Jamie told me that telling a woman my favourite movie is Ratatouille is a bad idea... is it?" "just bake her a lasagna or something and say that's how you learnt to cook." "I am not doing that." "dammit, I thought we'd get lasagna for dinner"
doing random tiktok trends or challenges - the baking one where one person is blind, one is deaf, and one is mute, but they all gotta work together to bake a cake!! sam (tape around his mouth) x you (blindfolded) x jamie (loud ass headphones on)
jamie: pass the FOOKIN sugah!! *back turned to yall as he stirs the mix*
you: WHAT. WHERE. *randomly smacking shit, picking up the salt and dropping it on the counter and onto a spoon*
sam: mmmhnph! *waving his hands in your face like NO but you can't see*
you: *turning to jamie with a spoonful, which he probs tastes absentmindedly whilst stirring* OI TASTE THIS
jamie: FOOKS SAKE
#sam obisanya#besties with sam obisanya#sam obisanya x reader#ted lasso#ted lasso x reader#jamie tartt x reader#afc richmond
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Fic Rec time because why not: Death Note Edition ✨
These are some of my favorite DN fanfics and I figured I'd share them with you :3 Even if you've probably already seen some of them.
I am also a multishipper so this going to LONG. Buckle in 🚀
Gen
Five Days by Shadow_of_Quill
Rated M. Noncon Warning. Several instances throughout the week where people don't keep their hands to themselves around Light.
Despite the serious subject matter Light deals with it in a very Light™ way. This is the origin of a few of my angstier Light headcanons.
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This Is How I Disappear by TzviaAriella
Rated T. MCD Warning. After an international tribunal condemns nineteen-year-old Light Yagami to death, the Kira Task Force must come to terms with the fallout of the case–and with Light’s surprising last request.
I'm pretty sure everyone's read this one at some point. It's a classic. Everybody's GOTTA read this one at least once. Angsty but it's hhhhhhHHHHHH 🙏 So good.
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And This Is All There Ever Was by Min Daae
Rated T. MCD Warning. In which Light has confessed, in order to win.
This one is technically lawlight, but it feels very gen to me so I put it NEAR the lawlight list. I love Light being a spiteful shit and this is him being spiteful to the very end. This man will do anything to win.
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Lawlight
Polarity by Writeous
Rated T. Some people are born with soulmarks: small, colorful images tattooed onto your skin that represent the people who would prove most important in your life. By all accounts, soulbonds are supposed to be beautiful, something to be cherished and revered over the course of your life. Light Yagami grows up with a bold, typeface L on his hand and a soulmate that hates him.
I'm obsessed with this fic. OB. SESSED. It only has one chapter so far but I love the dynamic on this one. I love soulmate aus but specifically the grittier ones. It has a MCD warning but as of now it's not applicable yet. Highly recommend.
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Time Speaks by aSmallMoon333
Rated E. In his first life, L died in the arms of his greatest enemy.
In his brief second one, he died alone.
And in his third, too-long life, L died anticipating finally getting even with the man who'd won their game one too many times.
And Light Yagami? If he'd known this is what picking up the Death Note would bring....well, he'd probably still have done it anyway.
This fic? Superb. Spectacular. I reread it at LEAST once a month. It has lodged in my brain and rots everything else around it I am so obsessed. L and Light are so unhinged and in love and petty and I love them. MCD warning, obviously, but it doesn't stick. This was my first fic back into the DN fandom and honestly I think it should be everyone else's too 🙏 My friends tell me they're getting back into DN and I immediately recc them this fic.
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louder then bells by relic_crown
Rated M. No one has ever seen Light’s soul, but it haunts his dreams as a monster: eyes bloody as sunrise, feathers tasting of citrus and sharpie fumes, breath hot as summer and twice as brutal. At first, he thinks the notebook itself is his soulmate. Then he tells himself Misa can be enough.
L ruins everything. For the first time, someone sees Light’s soul, and through his eyes Light knows it must look monstrous – why else would L be hunting him over it?
A soulmate/His Dark Materials AU—can you tell I have a thing for soulmate AUs? I adore the vibes of this fic, from the mystery of Light's soul, to L's distinct creepiness, to how Light views Kira :) I cannot explain that last bit to you, you're just gonna have to read it.
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Slow to Boil by TrashKing
Rated E. L has loved Kira since he knew there was a Kira to love. Unfortunately for him Light Yagami doesn’t quite understand the whole process of being seduced so L will have to take the frog in the pot approach to taming this beast.
I have a kink for L having a Kira kink, and this is one of my favorites to read when I have my 'I Need L To Be Obsessed With Kira' cravings. Very fun read, highly recommend ✨
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The Many Forms of Blessings by TrashKing
Rated E. Light was taken in by Wammy House after he lost his family in the accident. Now eighteen he finds it’s a tradition at the house that the best of every generation meet the mysterious creature who lives in the catacombs under the estate; L. Light is reluctant and that unease proves well placed when it’s revealed the graduates L likes never leave the underground.
And THIS fic is the one I circle back to when I get my 'I Need L To Be Obsessed With Light' cravings :3 Dark and beautiful in that Beauty & The Beast/Leda & The Swan way. I really love Light's characterization in this fic, as well as the darker take on the Light Grows Up In Wammy's trope.
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Rabbit Holes by TrashKing
Rated M. L Lawliet, head programmer and engineer for W&W Cybernetics, arrives at Tokyo-3 to fix a malfunction that killed eight people. The problem is that 'malfunction' turns out to be a newly sentient super computer called Kira. L disconnects him from the rest of the installation to begin a historic interrogation, but Kira might not be as defanged as L believes.
If you can't tell by now I am trash for TrashKing's fics—I can't help it I'm straight up in love with their Light. I would recc literally all of their fics but we don't got time for that, there's over fifty. This fic is fluffy and funny and really interesting, and it was a super fun read! I liked the inclusion of Ryuk and Light's very wholesome and yet still very Light™ reactions to human experiences :)
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Into The Grey by Kratos_Aurion
Rated E. Light is a young, hot, reclusive Omega who follows all the rules and does it all right. Except when he's sneaking out to capture criminals as the vigilante only known as Kira. L will always and forever be the world's greatest detective, but the Alpha might have a little competition in the Kanto region of Japan.
In a world just barely free of Omega oppression, these two geniuses find themselves in a race against the clock and each other.
VIGILANTE 👏 LIGHT 👏 I love this little scheming bastard. I love the twists and turns this fic takes and the persistent aura of dread and danger. I also just like it when L and Light bicker and fight and they do that a lot in this fic. A lot. It's great. I can't explain what else I particularly like about this fic without spoiling it, so you're just gonna have to read it.
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Extrajudicial by Boo_Yeah
Rated M. L knows that Light Yagami is guilty. And he is forced to accept that he will never be able to prove it.
So, just this once, he decides to break his principles and go above the law. He kidnaps Light and takes him to Wammy's house.
He's sure that having the kids interact with a real-life mass murderer will be a very educational experience indeed.
Or: Light is Kira, L is sick of how easily manipulated the police are, and he secretly wants to see what will happen if he forces Light into a domestic situation with children just as intelligent as he is.
I am a person who really enjoys L Wins AU, so L yoinking Light from Japan just to hide him away in Wammy's to try and redeem (?) him all while Light kicks and screams is something that just speaks to me personally 🙏 L just wants to not kill his friend and Light just wants to continue to commit crimes, top tier story on God.
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Animal Games by tsukinoyagi
Rated T. Gone Girl AU. L has moved his lovely, vile, entirely batshit husband out of their beautiful Brooklyn brownstone into a Missouri suburb, then left him to his own devices. He is under the impression that this is going to end well.
This fic is beautifully written and it scratches that itch I have for malicious antagonism between established lawlight. These bitches are SO toxic and I love them. I really enjoyed the different perspectives just so you can see that both of them are unreliable narrators.
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Terraito
The Gods of The Godless by foreskinsmoothie
Rated E. Noncon Warning. Light was perfect. And now that he’s not, there’s just nothing left for him here, in this life.
After a night that ruined his life, left him crippled and spurred forth multiple failed suicide attempts, Light decides his best course of action is putting himself in the most dangerous situation he can think of and making grotesque gangsters do his dirty work. He slips into the sight of Ryuk, infamous for fucking male escorts, then killing them in a brutal blur. Or so those dark web message boards say.
Light’s fate is in Gods hands… or maybe a creature far crueler has plans for him.
I LOVE THIS FIC. I ADORE IT. It's dark and gritty, but as someone deranged about human (?) Ryuk and his and Light's dynamic, this fic is wonderful. The noncon is not between Ryuk and Light, but the descriptions are explicit so be aware of that. Both Light and Ryuk have my entire heart here no lie.
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Toes, Knuckles, Teeth by TrashKing
Rated E. Ryuk's always been good at bending rules. Shinigami aren't supposed to have sex with humans but, well, by his estimation Light is also a Shinigami.
This fic revolves in my brain at 3x microwave speeds, okay? I am studying this fic like it is the scrolls of old, alright? I hold unhinged amounts of feralness for this fic. It's a smutty little character study, and it has imprinted itself onto the back of my eyelids forever. This fic addresses every reason that I'm so obsessed with Ryuk and Light's relationship. SO GOOD 🔥
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Meronia
what doesn't kill me makes me want you more by neallo
Rated M. “Poor Near,” Mello says, stepping closer and pulling Near’s head back further, tilting her face up as Mello cages her against the wall. “How long have you liked me?”
Near’s heart is kicking against her ribcage so hard it almost hurts, and her ears are burning with embarrassment. She squeezes her eyes shut, unable to hold the blonde’s gaze. “Mello, I...” she tries to speak, hoarse.
“Has it been months?” Mello asks, her voice getting closer as Near feels her lean down. She braves a glimpse through her lashes and watches as Mello bends her head to brush her cheek against Near’s, putting her lips next to Near’s ear. “Years, maybe?” The older girl teases.
Near finds it in herself to squeak out a “yes,” and almost jumps at Mello’s sharp intake of breath.
“Years,” Mello marvels.
A Fem Meronia fic set in Wammy's era where Mello finds out that Near enjoys getting bullied by her—because Near has a MASSIVE crush on her. What more could you possibly want out of life? Amazing fic.
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The Archer Ensnared by jabbernatty
Rated E. Near has two goals: the first, to celebrate Mello’s birthday. The second- a secret. His methods for achieving these? Questionable.
THIS. FIC. THIS ONE. Near is my favorite levels of unhinged and this is so in character for me. I enjoy it a lot. If you haven't figured it out by now I enjoy romantic antagonism and problematic relationships and this fic has both 😍
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we will be better than i was by sahwen
Rated M. AU in which Mello swallows their pride and works alongside Near. Things aren't as different as one might expect.
Nonbinary Mello, domestic-edging meronia, and tragedy mixed in with funny shenanigans. The way this written is just,,,so pretty?? I'm in love with it. 10/10 it has everything.
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Matsulight
metempsychosis by palant1r
Rated M. MCD Warning. After the warehouse — it will always be "the warehouse" to him, a vague noun as a substitute for years of betrayal — Matsuda wakes up the next morning faced with a second chance. One day to fix everything, one day to build the January 28 he wants. And that day will repeat for as long as it takes to get things right.
He knows that he can't save everyone. But it would be nice if he could just save someone.
OR
Matsuda gets stuck in a time loop and the situation quickly gets worse.
This fic is a TRIP I tell you, but a very good one. Matsuda's characterization in this is so much fun. This fic is about the journey of grief and all the madness and moral contemplation that comes along with shooting the greatest mass murderer of all time who was also your best friend that you're in love with. Very good read.
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Alive by still_lycoris
Rated M. Light Yagami is a Shinigami. And Matsuda has found the Notebook ...
This is such an interesting idea, I really enjoyed it. Matsuda's moral struggle seems to be a persistent theme in matsulight fics but honestly that's half the fun. Good fic 👌
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Birthdaymassacre
A Secret Note by KeehlingOver
Rated E. What Mello left out of his writings on the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases.
Or, these edibles ain't shi--
This fic is so fucking funny holy shit. Whenever I need a pick-me-up I reread this fic. It's T4T bdaymassacre, what more could you want?
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Aggressive Top by ThePunkRanger
Rated E. Naomi Misora isn’t about to admit that the mysterious detective Ryuzaki sparked something in her, but when he insists that he’s an “aggressive top” she just can’t let it slide. So she does something entirely unprecedented, and invites him over to prove it.
What has she gotten herself into?
Naomi is sick of Ryuzaki's shit, and Beyond has reverse-psychology-ed his head between Naomi's legs 🙏 This one is unfinished but it left off on a cliffhanger that drives me FUCKIN' NUTS BRO. FIRE.
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Playing The Part by ThePunkRanger
Rated E. Someone is kidnapping members of Southern California’s BDSM community, and the world’s greatest detective is in the market for a reliable team to go undercover on his behalf.
It’s been two years since the arrest of Rue Ryuzaki, the serial killer behind the Los Angeles BB murder case, and Naomi Misora has been happy to live her life under the assumption that she’ll never have to see him again. Unfortunately, L has other ideas; ones that involve her pretending to be in a Pup/Handler relationship with the murderer she put behind bars.
I'll be real and say that I wasn't sure about this fic at first, but it's actually very wholesome?? And respectful of the kink community! There's some extra angst in the background with L's controlling tendencies (there are cameras in that hotel room. I feel it in my bones.) and his and B's rough history, but honestly I think that makes it even more interesting. Top tier fic. 👌
#death note#fic recs#lawlight#terraito#meronia#matsulight#birthdaymassacre#long post#i have several other favs obvs#but this is already.....SO. LONG.#i couldnt fit my mikalight fics 😔✊#ANYWAY here you go enjoy :D i certainly did :D
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Mamahersh’s Post-MAG-200 Fanfic Recommendation Mega Thread
@a-mag-a-day
In celebration of us finishing The Magnus Archives (even if I admittedly fell off around S2 and have been mostly lurking since then), I have compiled all of my fave post series fics for your enjoyment! I will be grouping them in some big, general categories, which I’ll list above the read more here. Depending on the size of this post, it might start looking a bit like that “Do you like the sky?” post But I can assure you that I have read all of these and can give them my stamp of approval!
If you finished the series and were wishing for your best boys to finally be happy, then boy howdy do I have some fanfiction for you!
Time Travel
Somewhere Else
AUs
Uncategorized JonMartin Fluff
By these categories, we should hopefully cover all the recommendations I have, and I hope you all find some new fics! (or enjoy rereading fics you haven’t enjoyed in awhile)
TIME TRAVEL
where there’s a will, we make a way by bubonickitten
"So, what does happen if an Eye learns to See within itself?
What happens is this: the Archive Beholds the Watcher – and the Watcher blinks first."
________________________
Jon goes back to before the world ended and tries to forge a different path.
Probably my fave time travel fic in this fandom hands down; it is also currently the longest whilst still unfinished. While I try not to recommend unfinished fics that I am uncertain of their return to activity, this is a big exception and personally I love everything about it! It’s got Jon dealing with trauma through the lens of his speaking only in Statements, Martin being saved from his downward spiral into the Lonely way earlier in S4, Georgie actually sticking around, Basira having a better grasp of the situation and being more understanding about it, and everyone generally sticking close to character while managing to buck parts of the narrative. I cannot recommend this fic enough, and I very likely already did back near the start of S5.
Something’s Different About You Lately by thesnadger
Jonathan Sims has been head archivist for just a few months, but he has memories of holding the position for years. He remembers monsters, and darkness, and the end of the world. Somehow, he'll have to keep everyone safe from what's coming. Meanwhile, his assistants can't understand why their prickly jerk of a boss has gone sappy all of a sudden.
So TMA time travel fics that focus on Jon going back tend to come in two varieties. There’s the “Jon’s mind goes back and replaces himself/inhabits his past self’s body” and then there’s the “Jon physically goes back so there’s two Jons”. The first two on this list are of the first variety, and if I remember right this was one of the first I ever read. However, I recommend this one specifically because this has an amazing ending. Like, it might just be me, but many of the endings in these feel relatively unsatisfying because there’s magically a third option where Jon comes out unscathed while saving his S1 archives crew from the Horrors. For whatever reason, it was incredibly satisfying having a fic that didn’t shy away from the options presented in S4 and S5 and I love how they characterize everyone in this one as well.
100 Seconds to Midnight by starspangledbread
Jon and Martin find themselves back in 2011 after attempting to release the fears from their reality. The world is the same one they left behind, but now something has come back with them. They have a chance to destroy the fears once and for all, but it proves harder than expected. Who knew that the best laid plans could be thwarted by nosy co-workers, office romance, the inevitable learning curve of being a time traveler turned grifter, and the refusal to believe in subtlety?
Did someone say Extinction!Jon? This also is a part of a series, though the true sequel to this one is currently unfinished (though it should eventually be completed and only has one chapter to go). An excellent romp, I definitely recommend if you’re looking for something kinda dark, some comedy, a little OOC, and Martin being able to embrace his crime side in the name of saving the world.
Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey
"Who the hell are you?" Jon could feel his hands shaking.
The man laughed, taking a step forward and raising a hand to point at him.
"I'm you, from the future!" he said, then swayed, eyes going unfocused, and collapsed to the floor in a dead faint.
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Post-season-four Jon and Martin time travel back to the season one Archives.
Written by my fave (and most prolific) JMart author, we have a perfect example of the other kind of time travel fix it fic in the form of Jon physically travelling to the past to try and save the world. As expected by someone I am calling my fave JMart author, we’re going to be getting double dose on the JMart. I highly recommend if you’re looking for something that starts a little bittersweet, but then ends in copious amounts of fluff.
Reverb (Series) by Wolftraps
Undoing the apocalypse would have been enough for Jon, if all his people survived. Without them, Jon's only recourse is making it so it never happened in the first place. He's going to do better this time.
Summary from the first fic in the Reverb series, I highly recommend the first two fics in this series for different reasons. “The Reverb in These Holy Halls” is a great time travel fic that takes some really interesting turns by the end and unlike most fics actually has Jon try to keep Tim safe by keeping him out of the Archives pre-S1. However “Gossip” I recommend if you enjoy those fics formatted to look like official communication of some kind. It’s got people outside the Archives trying to figure out what’s wrong with them during the events of the first fic, and while it would be very confusing to read without the first fic, I’d almost say it’s worth it if you aren’t feeling the tags on the first one. Really fun and entertaining, you can’t go wrong with either one.
The Triumph of Galatea (for Acis is transformed) by TheOestofOCs
Statement of Hazel Rutter.
Jon couldn’t stop reading.
The Fears, however, are a bit more powerful than Jonah gave them credit for. Jon opens the door, but the world can’t hold what’s on the other side.
Time falls through, instead. Past becomes present, and the future is undone.
Statement begins.
Another fic I definitely recommended back at episode 160, but is well worth the second recommendation and/or re-read. Time Travel, but what if Jon could control as well as go into the dreams of the assistants/other Eye aligned people instead of just his victims’ dreams? Very good, even if unfinished, though the author seems likely to finish someday. Check out their other work as well, it’s all very good and has my fave Circus themed fic written to date.
a map of what matters most by gruhukens
“Is that a body,” Tim blurts before he can stop himself, rising to his feet. Martin looks, if possible, even more scared.
“He’s alive!” he hisses, almost defensively. “It’s not - it’s not Gertrude again, I didn’t kill him, he just – I don’t know what happened to him, I just found him in the stacks like this.”
“And you dragged him up here?” Tim says, and then registers several things at once – the build, the hair texture; the little round scars peppering a pair of thin hands and an awfully familiar face. “Wait, is that Jon?”
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Jon stumbles back into an earlier Archive, looking for a way to fix the world. (Or, mom says it's my turn for the obligatory time travel au)
Directly inspired by CirrusGrey’s fic that I recommended earlier, this is another: Jon travels physically into the past fic. This one though is far more bittersweet than “Yesterday is Here”, but still an excellent read and does a great job at fleshing out the relationships between all the characters.
Saving the Universe: For Dummies by GhostChoir
Finding a man bleeding out in the alleyway was not what Elias wanted to do today. And he certainly didn’t mean to befriend him. But things never did go how he expected.
******
A Post-MAG200 Jon meets a 1970s Elias, an Elias from before he was corrupted by Jonah. Together, the two of them learn to cope with grief, drink more tea than any two people should be able to consume, and commiserate over shitty bosses. Oh, and just for the hell of it, they stop an apocalypse along the way.
Now for a change of pace: What if Jon time travels to the time of early Gertrude and Elias pre-Jonafying? A very good fic is what! While it’s been awhile since I read this, I do remember it’s quite good and deserves a chance. Note: this is NOT Jonathan/Elias, so my apologies if you were looking for that, but it is two very lonely men getting to just have a reliable friend in times of trouble.
A Little Game of Cat and Mouse by Paptato
“Jonah Magnus.” The cloudy silhouette snarled as it’s hand clamped tightly around Jonah's ascot. That was indeed his name, but Jonah couldn’t begin to fathom what he did to have it spat out with such hatred.
But nonetheless, Jonah was a gentleman and he would kindly address the angry figure as politely as possible, “Yes, and you are?”
“What?” The form spluttered as it slowly came into focus. Ah, yes. That probably wasn’t the proper response to being held at gunpoint by a random stranger. Must have been the blow to his head.
(Or in which Jonathan Sims goes back in time and tries to pull a Terminator, but fails and Jonah Magnus finds a new mystery to solve.)
This is that Jonah Magnus/Jonathan Sims enemies to lovers fic your friends warn you about in a good way. It’s not done, but I think it’s still being updated very slowly. Even if all I ever read is the currently released 11 chapters, I will consider it my one exception to my dislike of Jonah/Jon. As you can probably guess by the description, it’s a time travel fix it where Jon gets shunted back in time to when Jonah was still very human and still trying to figure out the Fears. The Web keeps Jon from explaining his circumstances or anything to do with Jonah’s future in particular, but this is a good thing and they both get to learn how to be more human in a world that previously was very antagonistic to those goals. It’s got a heavy dose of comedy, plenty of romantic tension, and lots of both surprising and unsurprising cameos. If you enjoy Dracula Daily, you’ll probably enjoy this imho.
Déjà Vu by CirrusGrey
Sasha remembers being unmade.
Tim remembers being Unknown.
Jon and Martin remember being unwound.
All of them think they're the only one.
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The S1 crew wakes up in the past with memories up till the moment they died.
So, here’s another one that’s got quite the spin on it. As you can see from the description, this one is where S1 crew all get their minds sent back in time to the time right around Jon’s first statement if I remember right. Another CirrusGrey fic, so it heavily leans on JonMartin, but otherwise it’s a wonderful exploration of the four S1 characters and ends on a very hopeful note!
oh my darling, just a moment of your time by IceEckos12
The Institute is visited by a pair of time travelers, and Jon has an important question for Tim.
Have you ever had a oneshot that just kinda guts you unexpectedly? While this might not do this for everyone, this is an amazing oneshot that gets right the point. I love it a lot, because of all of the fics where future and past meet each other, it very rarely if ever is addressed that past Jon was a douche. Or well it is but past Jon doesn’t necessarily have a character moment from it. Here he does, and despite the briefness of the fic, the author does an amazing job of giving Jon and Tim a moment while making an almost critique of the TMA time travel genre. Highly, highly recommend, and it won’t overstay it’s welcome if it doesn’t end up being your thing.
The Severing of Webs by chlodobird
After Jon kills the world, he travels back in time. Once there, he gets ready to change the future, to save his Assistants, and to watch as everyone learns to hate him again.
Unfortunately, the tapes wrap around him like a fly caught in a Web—he can't move. He's trapped reliving the original timeline, stuck acting out his past actions like an actor rehearsing his lines.
Sasha will die. Tim will die. Martin—
(Jon screams inside his mind, and someone hears him. Fate is not as immutable as he fears.)
This one is a brand new one! While basically all of the others on the list have been out/updating for over a year at this point; this lengthy oneshot just released this month. tbh, very excellent, which is why it has made the list. Also, quite the twist on the usual premise, where being sent back into his head is actually a bad thing this time. Ends with a giant pile of fluff, but who would I be if all my time travel recommendations were not also fix-its?
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Somewhere Else
it will be this, always by bluejayblueskies
Jon coughed again, and blood stained his lips and blood stained Martin’s hands where they pressed against Jon’s back and blood stained the floor beneath them and help, they needed help.
Martin doesn’t remember shouting. He barely remembers the faces that had surrounded them, wide-eyed and terrified, all utterly unfamiliar.
.
Jon and Martin wake up somewhere else. Jon begins a slow path toward physical recovery, and several important, long-put-off conversations are had as they begin to navigate a new world that they hadn’t thought they’d be alive to see.
So, I’m sure you all have gathered that I have qualms with how much disparity there is between canon and fanon Jmart. This fic is painful, but is the most in character depiction of post 200 JMart fallout I have ever read. The ending is very cathartic, and takes a “realistic” approach to what happens to Jon and Martin as they begin to navigate their relationship after they both had betrayed each other so thoroughly in the leadup and culmination of MAG 200. If you don’t want them immediately making up, this is the fic for you. They get there, but by all that is good do they take their sweet time getting there.
Out There, Somewhere by Artyphex
"I'm sorry, you were found alone."
Jon survived the apocalypse and now will go to the end of this new, unfamiliar world to find Martin again.
So I think I’m just getting all the angsty ones out of the way first lol. Another slow burn, this fic is Jon’s recovery in the new reality while he also searches for what happened to Martin. Since I don’t post the tags, I will say this ones does feature “Eventual Happy Ending”, and I do promise that both Jon and Martin made it to the new reality and lived. But Jon and Martin both get to pine and cope for a while before that happy ending tag comes into play. It’s incredibly well done and explores their characters really well. Personally, I kinda enjoyed the Reddit saga because people mistaking Jon’s pleas for Martin as an ARG is very typical internet and 100% I would have bought into that at age 13.
Of course I need a therapist. I need ten therapists, working round the clock building me a bionic coping mechanism. We have the technology. by MartinKBlackwoodESQ
A story set somewhere else.
I’mma be real with you all, if I believed that characters could write and publish their own fanfiction, I would be halfway convinced the name is accurate. All joking aside however, this is a “crack treated seriously” fic but with characterization so on point I can consistently hear the voice actors when I read this. Admittedly, it’s made easier by it being written in transcript formatting, but if you’re looking for a hilarious time where TMA is suddenly is turned into a buddy cop adventure where Jon and Martin go to a universe where the Fears hadn’t been till their arrival, and they have doubles that already exist there who are living fairly normal lives till the TMA Jon and Martin crash land into their reality... Well this fic is one I cannot recommend highly enough. It also has a sequel, and it is also well worth the read, even if it appears to be on a bit of a break in it’s updates.
Worlds like phyllo pastry by neworld
After episode 200 Jon finds himself alone in a world very much like the one he left but fractionally different. It's so similar he finds versions of his former friends existing happily in the world. Unfortunately they have never met him in this universe and have no idea who he is.
This one’s unfinished, but personally it’s well worth the read as is. Not sure how I feel about the most recent chapter, but the story up till that point is a really fun spin on “Jon and Martin get shunted to a new reality” where Jon learns how to feed in a way that doesn’t cause problems facilitated by the new reality, and re-meets all the people who he lost till this point and has a very silly antagonistic relationship with his alternate self. While fic might be more of a guilty pleasure, it still is written in such a way that I would rank it high enough for this disorganized list.
Death Is The Easy Way Out by traveller19
After having killed Jonah Magnus and ended the Change, Jon and Martin should finally be able to rest. Rest, however, proves impossible when Jon falls ill. What's more, he begins having vivid dreams of their dead friends - Tim, trapped in the destroyed Archives, and Sasha, trapped outside of them. As Jon's condition quickly worsens and the line between dream and reality begins to blur, love is all he and Martin have to hold on to, because hope is a dangerous thing.
Did someone say sickfic??? But for real, this fic has an amazing balance between an A plot and a B plot, and keeps both at the right level of tension throughout. While this is a sickfic heavy one, it also features Tim and Sasha as ghosts trying desperately not to be. There’s also a lovely sequel and plenty of fluff by the end, but this is a rough ride. ALSO, if you or a loved one had covid / any respiratory illness that caused them to be hospitalized with pneumonia and it could be trigging to read incredibly on the nose descriptions of that experience, this fic is not for you. Or very cathartic. :/
Castaways by CirrusGrey
Welcome to the Castaway Foundation, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing a safe and secure landing to those lost souls banished from their home worlds by the influence of Fear.
If you wanted saccharine JMart in a new reality where they get therapy and meet old friends from different realities, this series of (mostly) one shots is for you! As you’ve probably come to expect when I suggest CirrusGrey, the writing is fantastic, the ship dynamics are exemplary, and the character are on point. There is so much to say about this series, but mostly, if you want Jon and Martin healing and then settling together and becoming the stereotypical married couple, then this is it. It’s not done, but it is wrapping up, and I hope you all if you haven’t seen this yet enjoy it as much as I do. And for those long time readers who have been reading it longer than I’ve been in the fandom, here’s your friendly reminder that it exists.
Do Before I Die by SupposedToBeWriting
Somewhere Else, Jon can't seem to shake the strange apathy that now plagues his life. Everything reminds Martin of the end of the world. For a change of pace, he and Martin rent a campervan and go on a road trip. Their mission? To fulfill the 'bucket list' Martin made when he was eighteen and lonely. Jon's looking forward to the beach.
Jon and Martin go on a Road Trip accross Britain. It’s just a wholesome and hurt/comfort as it describes. An excellent romp, and the character studies are wonderful. The Planetarium still sticks with me.
ours is a distant shore (series) by pantsoflobster
“If they ever found out about us, we could make things really complicated for them," Jon said.
Martin gave a thoughtful hum and then a loaded pause before he said, “Or simpler.”
“What?”
“We could, you know…” Martin then made mischievous eyes at him in lieu of expanding.
“What?” Jon said, thoroughly lost.
“Wouldn’t it be a bit fun to sort of... nudge them in the right direction?”
Months after they arrive Somewhere Else, Jon sees himself in the shop.
Summary is from the first fic in the series, this is a fun little romp for those who hated Martin’s defeatism over his and Jon’s relationship in MAG199 and want to see what would happen if instead he accidentally kick started an alternate version and his and Jon’s relationship Somewhere Else. It’s all very silly, tho the last fic does lean more into the hurt/comfort tag than the previous two. Over all though, if you’re looking for a little crack, a lot of fluff, and Jon and Martin being silly this is a good time.
Written in the Stars Will Have to Do by GentlemanCrow
“Yeah well, god knows why, but he thinks you hung the moon, so you might try treating him at the very least like a human being once in a while.”
It was such a small thing. Small words for a small feeling cloaked in a chintzy veneer of idiomatic dismissal. A trembling little bird cupped in his scarred and battered hands and smothered. Or so he thought. Sometimes trembling little birds turn out to be phoenixes, and those who looked to someone else to hang the comfort of a wise, silvery moon in the sky already have the hammer and the picture wire at the ready.
As far as Jon was concerned, the moon only rose on their Somewhere Else because Martin deigned to pull the strings every night, not him.
This is another one of those JMart Somewhere Else fics masquerading as a Safehouse fic that made me want to cry. It’s just, so wonderful, and once again we have themes of healing, but this time through getting a hobby and sharing it with your significant other. The writing is lovely and really gives off the stuffy academic musings I would expect being in Jon’s head (which we are for the duration of this fic) but adds a layer that I didn’t realized I needed till I read it.
On Errantry by ZaliaChimera
Somewhere Else, Jon and Martin discover that their new home has a very special sort of guardian, and Jon seeks judgement from an unexpected source.
They do say that cats purring can heal...
A cute one shot that deals with Jon’s lingering guilt from S5; this is a wonderful tale from Somewhere Else featuring a giant Cat, Martin being supportive, and Jon trying to reconcile his second chance. Very sweet and fluffy, guaranteed!
Lost, Unfound, But Not Forgotten by Elynn
They didn’t find bodies. Or anything pointing to where they may have gone. In the center of the rubble, what Georgie assumed to have once been the top of the tower, was a puddle of dried, crusted blood, and the outline of bodies in the dust and scorch marks. And she knew that wherever the Fears had gone, Jon and Martin had gone with them. The last victims, snuffed and dragged away with them.
---
In the weeks after the Eye-pocolypse, Georgie Barker begins the painful process of mourning her best friend.
So, I know I’m very focused on Jon, but I have one fic of Georgie here that’s 10/10. Post 200, Georgie and Melanie eventually goes to clean out Daisy’s cabin of Jon and Martin’s things for Basira (or something like that) and Georgie finds a journal of Jon’s that he kept whilst there. It’s just as bittersweet as you’d imagine, but it’s fantastically cathartic to read and in our MAG 200 feels, this is a good one for closure.
Not Quite Somewhere Else by hawkfurze
Or you can find it on Tumblr HERE
A special entry to finish out this section, I have a long running comic from Tumblr user @hawkfurze who made a TMA x Infinity Train crossover. While I had not watched the show previously (only seen the trailer/pilot from back before it got picked up by CN), the comic is still easy to understand and explains the Infinity Train parts in such a way as to not need any prior knowledge. I highly recommend this comic for anyone who wants a visual treat delving into the relationship and psyches of Jon and Martin as they try to escape into the next reality.
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AUs
Two Graves by SupposedToBeWriting
Jon sends the fears far from Earth and flees London, leaving the others to assume the worst. He settles in a small village and opts to live there quietly until he dies, a self-imposed penance. This plan is foiled when the first former Avatar shows up - and Jon realizes that every domain-keeper in the apocalypse still has some faint connection to him.
After a year of being a shoulder to cry on for confused and distraught former Avatars, Jon leads a moderately happy life. He has a flourishing garden, a cat, and some company. All of that comes crashing around his ears (or his head) when a familiar face shows up to his cabin, demanding answers.
This fic is in my top 5 fics of TMA fandom. No contest. It has some of the best healing from MAG 200 for Jon and Martin and tbh the world I’ve seen. It’s got that incredible hurt/comfort and the ending makes me cry tears of joy every time I read it. If you read any JMart fic on this list, please read this one if you can only read one. While I was tempted to put this in a different category, this seemed like the best place to put it.
What Comes After by Mornrandir
More than a year after the apocalypse, the world is starting to move on. Georgie, Melanie, and Basira have learned to move on and get back to living their lives. Then Martin reappears- without Jon- and they have to learn to begin again.
A series based around the initial above description, each entry in the series follows the healing of first Martin, then Jon, then both of them together. While I am a Jon-centric woman, if you are of a more Martin-centric leaning, this first fic in the series should scratch that itch. The final entry is very sweet, and the second definitely has a unique reason as to why Jon shows up so late to the after-Fears party.
The Watcher’s Cows by lenioia
He still remembers the first cup of tea Martin brought him. That’s where it began, not with the dog incident. A sweet and strong blend, reasons for appearance unknown, how could it taste so good, also unknown. Jon stares at what will be the last cup between them. His miserable parting gift. Where it’ll end.
Alt Mag 200, or in a slightly kinder universe which differs by exactly one cup of tea, Martin is the one who switches plan last minute, and Jon’s last half-backed scheme, for once, works.
An AU splitting off MAG 199/200, where Jon’s plan actually happens, but instead of it being quite so bleak he finds a new path with the help of Martin. I know the original ending of the series is probably the most hopeful one realistically, but we all enjoy our fixits here, so this is a really sappy “by the power of love” Jon and Martin save the universe and still get to live in it AU. Highly highly recommend, and it finished within the last 8 months, so it’s “on the newer side” as it were. If you haven’t read it, give it a shot, and if you’ve read it and it’s been awhile now’s a good time to read it again.
The Eyespot Chronicles (series) by SupposedToBeWriting
To Martin Blackwood's surprise, he wakes up in the ruins of the Magnus Institute. He thought he would be dead. The world is back to normal, the Entities are gone, and everyone realizes that it's finally over. The only sticking point is that Jon isn't exactly the Jon that went into the apocalypse. Never one to give up, Martin is determined to make a life for himself and his boyfriend. Even if he is a giant moth.
Summary taken from the first in the series, this trilogy of fics covers Jon and Martin’s attempts at healing in a world that remembers what happened. The first fic focuses entirely on Martin’s struggles, the second on Jon’s, and the 3rd (as you might guess) focuses on them both. The series is excellent, and if you’ve got the fortitude for canon-typical emotional constipation after having just experienced MAG-200 it’s well worth the read.
Another Guest for Mr. Spider by Dribbledscribbles
Jon isn't eating his statements like he should.
Mr. Spider doesn't like it.
Written in transcript format, this AU considers the idea of what if the Web was more hands on it it’s approach to getting Jon to Become more monstrous; or at least not starve himself out. Incredible read, you need an AO3 account though. But I have never been that spooked by a Statement or encounter before I read this fic. If you DO NOT like spiders on you or in your mouth and you don’t like reading about it either, potentially hold off on this fic, or at least skip from where Mr. Spider says “Open your mouth. Do not move.” to when he says “Wash it down with this. Now.” But yeah if you didn’t get enough spider trauma from canon, this fic gives it in spades! (And if you want Mr. Spider getting his comeuppance, you get that too ;) )
Illicio by ThatOneGirlBehindYou
As the new Archivist debates between life and death, the Eye ponders on what to offer him in order to avoid an encore of the unfortunate situation with his predecessor.
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Gerard Keay opens his eyes at what feels like fuck-ass in the morning, inside a room with far too little space and far too much dust.
A long form AU of what if Gerry Keay was brought back by the Eye to convince Jon to stay on team Monster if you will. Goes all the way through MAG-200, has some great twists and turns, and manages to turn into an “Everyone Lives AU” as well. While it is currently updating, it’s updating every week on Saturday till it finishes, and she only has 2 chapters left. If you’ve managed to never read this, now is certainly the time for it! It is Jon/Gerry/Martin, so if that’s not your exact cup of tea I’d still say give it a shot.
we should ride this wave to shore by ClarionGlass
“archives research & statement envestigation”
Timothy Stoker renamed the group “drinks drinks drinks”
Timothy Stoker changed Sasha James’s nickname to saucy sash
Timothy Stoker changed Martin Blackwood’s nickname to martini kart
Timothy Stoker changed his nickname to stonked
stonked: so how bout it lads
saucy sash: oh god.
A TMA group chat fic where the worst problems they have to deal with start with "h" and end with "angovers"
Right, I don’t tend to read chat fics, I’m going to be honest with you all. I have two exceptions and this is one of them. It goes interesting places, the characters are not completely OOC, if it they are at least it’s consistent OOC and not in a grating way. But in all seriousness, I recommend this because of how it ties in with MAG 160 and 200; as well as how the sequel deals with canon S5. The sequel isn’t finished and is slow to update, but I am still recommending at the very least the first one. It’s a good romp and I highly recommend.
Ask an Exec: How to Navigate Cultish Colleagues, Soul-Stealing Bosses, and the End of the World at Work by shinyopals
I've recently been unexpectedly promoted to lead a department in my organisation, wrote the anonymous emailer.
As there was no one working here when I arrived, my manager, who is head of the organisation, had promised me the choice of my own assistants. However, without warning, he simply presented me with an additional assistant. This new assistant’s first act on his first day was to let a dog into the office. It took several hours to catch and clean up after this dog and it has only been downhill from there. I admit I'm not entirely sure what to do with this assistant now I'm stuck with him. I'm hoping you have some advice?
Kind regards,
New Manager
Abigail Bailey runs a successful management advice blog. One frequent contributor is from a workplace with some... issues.
While this isn’t quite an AU and is basically canon compliant, I’m putting it here because it’s a “what if Jon was an avid seeker of advice on a management advice blog?” AU. It’s beautifully formatted, and features very in character interactions. If you are a sucker for the TMA trope: how do normal people react to the weirdness at the Institute, then this is a great fic for you. I know it’s probably one of the most popular things to have hit the Jonathan Sims tag on AO3 in recent months, but this is just me reminding you all it exists and well worth the re-read.
JMart Fluff
Author CirrusGrey
Literally anything by them. I think I probably recommend them every time I talk about JMart, but I think on AO3 they are both the most prolific and one of the best writers for the tag. Pick almost any fic they’ve written for TMA and it’s probably JMart. There’s too many fics of their’s to recommend, so I’ll just link you straight to their profile and you can go swimming from there lol.
Jon’s Moving Castle by IceEckos12
Martin Blackwood may not have a perfect life, but he does have a good one. That is, until a series of magical encounters leave him with an unfortunate curse. Out of other options, he goes to the wizard who lives in the moving castle for aid.
Life never goes how he intends it to, though.
Basically Howl’s Moving Castle, but with a TMA spin. You don’t need to have seen the movie to understand what’s going on, and honestly while it sticks fairly close to the movie, it doesn’t stick so close that it feels constrained by it in places where it wouldn’t make sense in the AU they’ve set up. It’s a very sweet JMart fic with a satisfying conclusion.
The 101 Kidnappings of Jonathan Sims (and Other Inconveniences) by beetlejoos
Martin Blackwood never applies for a job at the Magnus Institute. The universe seems determined that he meets Jonathan Sims anyway. But is it Fate, or something more sinister, that keeps bringing the two of them together?
Right, this mostly crack treated seriously. It’s got hurt/comfort, but it’s fairly light hearted throughout. As one could guess by the title and description, Jon is repeatedly kidnapped and brought to wherever Martin is living/working at the time. While it’s not done yet, and not on a schedule, the chapters that are out thus far are well worth the read. That and there’s some cute fan art for it that’s linked to in the end notes. But I recommend this because it’s got that vibe of S1 Jon meets S1 Martin outside of the Institute and romance (eventually) happens. Very fun read if you haven’t read it yet.
i think we’re alone now + alone-verse (series) by milliganopen
Just a couple of guys breaking into a basement. What could go wrong?
Getting trapped in your apartment with your boss, that's what.
Season 1 re-imagined if Jon and Martin had been trapped by Jane Prentiss together.
Initially I recommended this back when we had hit MAG039/022 because it was a great AU to Martin’s Statement where Jon also gets trapped in Martin’s apartment during Martin’s no good very bad 2 weeks of worm siege. HOWEVER, the author has since continued this series and is slowly working their way through canon one season/fic at a time. They’re currently on S3, and I am definitely keeping an eye on it for whenever the next update happens. If you haven’t had the time to check it out, it’s got some very good JMart moments, and their relationship manages to move faster than a glacier.
Fate, or Something by HermaeusMora
"You can't be serious." Jonathan Sims raises his eyes at last to properly look at Georgie, expecting her to laugh and make some quip about finally getting him to put the damn book down, at least.
"Well, I am," she shoots back.
He sets his book aside and turns fully towards her, betrayal clear on his face. "A blind date, really?"
Jon makes the frankly terrible decision to go on a blind date with one Martin Blackwood. Fate ensues. AU where Jon and Georgie are still friends, Georgie likes finding dates for her friends, Martin doesn't work at the institute, and everyone is just a bit happier while canon spooky stuff goes on in the background. Takes place juuust barely pre-canon in the beginning but catches up quickly. Inspired as usual by the wonderful conversations with my friend RavenXavier/somuchbetterthanthat.
A fun AU that challenges the idea that Jon and Martin are incompatible a la MAG199. Excellently done and well worth the time to check it out.
Diary by luftballoons99
Not for the first time since they ran away together, a camera reel of all the things they don't know about one another whirs behind Martin's eyes, and he can't help but look at all the sprawling magnetic tape and wonder if they’re going to wind up a romance or a tragedy.
or: Office parties, garage bands, and the joy of being known.
A bit of a bittersweet mostly fluff oneshot focused on Jon and Martin having a night in at the Safehouse and talking about good things from their pasts. (Warning, the sequel is rated E(xplicit) for a reason, so I am only recommending Diary. Both are stand alone however.)
Weaving My Heartstrings by arms_full_of_hyacinths
At least he was someone. Someone who could deal with the spiders. That was probably the source of the nerves unspooling like magnetic tape to fill Jon’s stomach with buzzing static butterflies.
Yes, Martin was much bigger than a spider. He was probably the kind of person who cupped them in his hands and talked to them as he walked them out into the garden, which shouldn’t be giving Jon a burst of warm feeling at all, since his preferred method of spider disposal was simply to squash them on sight.
Martin likes Jon almost as much as Jon hates spiders. When a statement from an institute employee sends them spiraling into the center of a complicated web, they'll need to rely on each other if they want to make it out alive.
Bit of an odd suggestion to close us out, but this one is a fun almost episodic plot about an original Statement and the shenanigans Jon and Martin get into trying to research it. It’s very good, features some very on point S1 Jon and Martin along with a bit of a fast forward on their relationship throughout.
And with that, I’ve probably overstayed my welcome lol. I hope you found something new to read! If not, I at least hope that you had fun rereading some old faves. This has taken me a day or two to compile and format, so I hope you all enjoy in whatever capacity that ends up being! Happy end of A Mag A Day, and it was a joy walking alongside you all. Congrats to A MAG A Day blog owners on all your hard work for the last ~210 days and with this post I wish you all a very fond farewell.
#a mag a day#the magnus archives#mag 200#tma fic rec#fic rec#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#georgie#melanie
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Super_Charlie_001
Am I (32M) the asshole for declaring a hero of our village (16M) my new nemesis?
This all started around 4 years ago. I live in a small secluded village on the coast, I'm talking about less than 100 people living here. We all do our part to keep our little town running and at this stage in my life I had just become our Village Fruit Carrier (a very important job to have). The job wasn't the most fulfilling, but it got food on the table and it was how I met my wife, so I have a bit of a soft spot for it. Anyway, the 'hero of the village' (let's call him Red) and he got me FIRED from my job. why? Because he just couldn't stop himself from stealing my baskets, dumping out my fresh clean fruit all over the ground, using my baskets as stilts, and then disappearing right before my boss came out to check on me. In the kids defense, he's a little... Slow, so I really didn't hold it against him too much. Especially because after getting fired from that job I managed to land my absolute dream job around 6 months later. I really felt like it was fate or something. I was happy, my wife was happy, everything was good.
This brings us up to speed basically.
Recently, Red got me fired AGAIN years later from my wonderful job. I worked as an archeologist/excavator and made good money doing it, especially since our little town is built on top of ancient ruins and tech nobody's really seen before. Apparently Red wasn't trying to get me fired, he was genuinely trying to make up for making me lose my job the first time. At first he seemed a little dimwitted, but well meaning so I didn't have much of a problem letting him stick around, but I also didn't have much of a backbone at the time either.
Then things got worse, between him picking up important artifact markers, breaking multiple artifacts, breaking one of my toes, and even throwing my lunch away, I just couldn't handle it. One night, he even showed up at my house before I got home and made friends with my wife, and despite telling her I was uncomfortable she let him stay. So I'm sure you guys can tell, by this point I'm boiling with rage. This kid just cannot take a hint and I have had it up to here with him.
Then all hell breaks loose. He somehow manages to brush an artifact just right, causing a laser to fire and destroy an entire dig site filled to the brim with things we haven't even begun to study. Then he has the audacity to yell at my boss for yelling at me and gets me FIRED!!! AGAIN!!! THEN HE CALLS MY WIFE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!! AND SHE THROWS ME OUT!!!
At this point he can't just be dumb right? This has to be malicious. So I freak out at him, and do you know what he says? "Don't worry. I'll make it up to you, just as soon as I'm done making it up to you for the other thing I did." Wtf.
So I start to torment the guy. Can you really blame me? I go back to my old job and dig around for the old mech suits the ancients had lying around, like huge rocky things that shoot fire and laser and all types of things. I only use it to do things like steal his lunch money and knock him around at first, nothing super out there just protocol villain stuff.
So Red starts acting like I'M the crazy one after this. He acts like HE'S been the bigger person when he's the one who made me this way. He even made me a pie (which I shoved in his face of course), and I proclaimed myself a supervillain, and by proxy his nemesis. The whole village even gathered around to watch our fight, I felt like I was a cool kid in a school yard, and it was objectively the best feeling I've ever had.
Unfortunately I lost, not without a fight but still. Now the entire village is weird towards me (except my wife who took me back because she was proud of me for getting a new job and also a backbone) and they all act like I'm some lunatic just because I tried to destroy ONE GUY!!! so aita?
EDIT 1: Yes not even Dr.Eggman knows how this tech works I live like a couple miles away from the guy. Trust me I've asked
EDIT 2: Why does everyone know this guy and his friends? Are they famous or something?
EDIT 3: I found out that Sonic the Hedgehog, my nemesis, and their friends, are actually the heroes of Mobius and not just the heroes of my village. Small world I guess.
#sth#sonic the hedgehog#i have the mic#knuckles the echidna#sonic shitpost#unreality#sonic boom#sonic fandom#sonic fanfiction#sonic#this episode is ridiculously funny to me i hope you enjoy reading this lol#am i the asshole#aita#sonic social media#sonic posting#this is based off of Sonic Boom EP: Counter Productive#idk if this is niche but i think it's hilarious lol
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Astrology of Goodbye
I don't know how to see goodbye in chart. I will only share the stories of mine and my family's charts. This is in no way intended to guide someone else nor it is indication that everyone going through certain dasha will definitely undergo the same event. I only share dots I can connect from little knowledge I have.
Trigger warning: death, loss of parent, grief.
This happened in my Jupiter's mahadasha that I have been running since 2014. That year I started college. Definitely Jupiter is planet of blessings and it is luck and blessing to graduate and be able to use degree for job and livelihood. Then in Ketu's antardasha in 2022 that rules my 1st house, my father was diagnosed with a life threatening disease. For my father's chart, it happened in his Venus Mahadasha and Jupiter Antardasha. Jupiter rules his 8th house that has Saturn in it. It came to light out of nowhere, suddenly, although there was no prior hint.
On first impression, I thought Saturn in 8th house gives very long life, although it may not guarantee good quality of life. I had read that this placement can give chronic diseases. I assured my father that nothing will happen to him, trust me, this will pass for you, just keep taking medical treatment, you're only being tested by God. Once I asked him do you have faith in astrology papa? He said, I have faith in you. So I said, then trust me you will live a long life.
Time pass by, medical treatments do not work for him. One chemotherapy. Next radiotherapy. No change. Next immunotherapy. Next chemotherapy. Next chemotherapy. All these treatments for long months. He was not ready to give up. As you know each chemotherapy takes months for cycles then we wait for some days before body scan. It was test of patience and powerlessness. I stopped telling him astrology and stop seeing everything. In my culture, vedic astrology is a big thing so we consult my friend's father who sees charts. He says, is it in bones? Do not worry, nothing will happen to you, you will recover even without surgery.
Meanwhile, we do everything we know. Buying stones, doing rituals, long 9 days of rituals, donating food grains and consulting a family tantrik. My father's health deteriorates further. One day he tells me, look my skin looks so old, I look like I am 95 year old. Instantly it struck me that although he's young he indeed looks like he is very old because of the treatments and looks like he "lived a long life".
My obsession with studying the 8th house makes me realize that he is being compelled to take the path of Yogi. He eats nothing, drinks nothing, speaks nothing, cannot leave house, does not go to work, does not socialize. This means he is doing sadhana and it is spiritually important event. It is internal self destruction to the point of nothing, so that a big transformation can begin.
In rahu's antardasha and rahu pratyantardasha, dear father leaves his body and departs to the world of unknown. For me, it was my Venus' antardasha and rahu's pratyantardasha. For my mother, she was running rahu's mahadasha, rahu's antardasha and venus pratyantardasha. I have venus in my 8th house but it rules my 7th/12th house. My mother's 8th/1st house are ruled by Venus. Can you see the change in her identity, self image, social identity from this information? It makes some sense in hindsight.
So, this is the story of timeline of what happened and when. How my incomplete astro knowledge made me tell misinformation and false promise to my father. And why I will only stick to personality analysis and not predicting events in coming times. I have not touched astrology for last 7 or 8 months now. But today it feels like I need to take it seriously and begin learning things from scratch once again. Living in a rut will keep close to memories of past but life has to move on even if that means getting distant from memories and not thinking of the same things every single day.
Thank you to people who asked me in how I was doing. This community is very supportive and does not forget you though one may forget oneself. My best wishes to everyone.
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We made it! Yippee! Thank you everyone for this milestone, I'm feeling super happy about it hehe. It's a nice gift to wake up to. I promised to do a face reveal but I want to see if I can hand over an old selfie instead. I do have some updates to give since I see it as an appropriate time to share and they'll be below the cut!
But before that, I want to say thank you again. I really wouldn't be much without you guys haha.
What happens @ 600 followers?:
Well, I’m not doing an event until 666 followers (Badum tss) but a while ago I did promise a face reveal so behold:
An extremely edited photo of me from about a year ago before I had my apartment. This, is 20 year old me in my grandma's basement... In a maid dress... Drinking a bang energy in front of my PC set up... (I still own my maid dress if anyone needs me to clean their house for them) I am in fact a REAL PERSON! Behold me. I won’t do a proper face reveal until I’m a little happier with myself as I am dealing with a lot of mental issues as of recent.
What’s going on?:
To make a long story short; I just got laid off at my job and I have to move in January. I do have some requests in queue and I am going to be on and offline as I look for a job and get unemployment for the time being. They said they will bring me back January 1st but they forget I am an adult with no support from my parents so I need to work to live. I won't be taking commissions as I cannot live off of those and again due to mental issues I have been having my production times for my commissions has gotten increasingly slow over the past year. I cannot complete them in a timely manner to keep my head above water. My last check will go towards rent and I NEED a job by next week as I need to save for my deposit in January for my new apartment (1,000 dollars) and I need to pay my last bill of the month (40.55 in consumers haha).
I am moving in January because me and my little sister agreed we would live together for a year and then live on our own. So, we're in the same neighborhood but our own apartment so if we need each other we're still close. Our lease is over on the 27th of January so I need to get all the money I have so I can be prepared. It's crunch time! I don't want to ask for charity, but I do want to express that my inbox will be staying closed so I can focus on adulting.
As you can see, I queue my posts like this so I always appear active online when the truth is: I'm probably sleeping/at work/writing/ect. I have the persona of a chronically online hikikomori, but the truth is I'm just a depressed person haha.
What about January?:
By January I won't plan to move for a long time as the rent is very cheap and the building allows smokers which is a big bonus for me. The usual response is; why don't you quit smoking?
Do you know how hard and expensive that is? Kicking a bad habit is hard enough, but doing that for the sake of HOUSING is not a good reason to quit. My survival shouldn't have anything to do with that. And also... The non smoking apartments are very boujiee and I don't like those kinds of uppity neighborhoods. I seek comfort in familiar and more impoverished areas. And again, dirt cheap rent. I'll be offline for the first few weeks of January and working on moving into my new apartment and I'll be updating you guys once I do! I can't use my PC since... Well, I gotta cut my internet off before I move haha. And my consumers the day of so they can turn my lights on at my other place. I am very excited that I have a new spot and I need to just get my deposit, and I'll deal with rent when I get to it along with all my other bills. I'm anxious and excited for the future. And with enough hard work I can strive towards a getting a small house.
But with the economy? ... Let's stick with an apartment. <3
Thank you for reading. And as always,
The Devil Loves You!
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One Year Anniversary
I cannot believe it, and yet, here it is: I've spent one full year messing my diapers and I still have two full years to go before this challenge expires. I haven't touched a single potty other than my own for cleaning purposes for my guests and I have not once ever used a public bathroom other than to change myself.
Since I'm at my one year anniversary with two more years ahead of me, I would like to say I'm a third of the way there but I have a feeling that even if I neared the end of this challenge, more and more time would just get added on. That's just how it's always worked throughout this last year, and thanks to a select few of you, I have a feeling I'll never be stopping this fun challenge of mine.
In the beginning, I thought this challenge would be a month long tops, but little by little, more and more time was put on. Once I hit the six week mark, I saw that I had nearly two whole months to go. I was afraid. I was nervous. And you know what? That's okay. It's okay to feel these feelings; we're only human. None of us can be perfect. I remained strong because while I hadn't enjoyed messing myself in the past, I had made a commitment to this challenge and to all of you to not only mess my diapers regularly and exclusively, I also made a promise to document my journey. I'm documenting all of this not only because I find it rather kinky but also to share my knowledge and experiences in the hopes that it can help someone going through the same things I am. It's also a great way to explore my feelings, too!
Believe it or not, after a year, I find the act of messing enjoyable. It's something I look forward to in the mornings because it keeps me from spending a lot more time on the potty on my phone. All I have to do is squat down, make pushies in my bedwetting diaper, then wipe myself clean with some wipes. Sounds easy, right? That's because it is. Once you get into a new routine and stick to it for many weeks, that new routine becomes normal and your body gets used to pooping on a regular schedule.
It's hard to really pin down why messing has become fun for me and I know it sounds weird to say that messing is fun. However, one of the reasons why I enjoy it so much is because it introduced kink back into my diapers, something that I've been missing for a while. Wearing diapers for fun every now and then won't minimize your kink and attraction to diapers, but if you wear them long enough or if you need them, they start to lose that kinky attraction. I've been wearing them for need for many years now, so I was grateful and happy to find something that made diapers kinky and naughty again.
I found it hard to switch diets and start eating better food in the beginning, but you know what? I have a lot more energy, I sleep better, and I'm not wasting money buying food that's nothing but fat and empty calories. I started out small, introducing more fruit and vegetables into my diet in place of chips or another unhealthy snack. The more healthy food I ate, the easier it became to stay on the straight and narrow path of good food. I've done my best to only eat whole foods. If it came in a bag ready to eat, I wouldn't buy it. I learned how to cook a lot of amazing meals, mostly Mexican-inspired dishes. A lot of my recipes are easy to make, healthy, and it's a great way to bond with your friends, too! Who can say no to some awesome home-cooked Mexican food? My favorite is steak fajitas!
In order to keep my messes easy to clean, I have to drink more water than I usually would. This helps keep my poop more uniform and easy to clean. I've also been including a lot more fiber into my diet to make it easier to poop. Junk food and overeating always leads to mushy messes, messes that are extremely difficult to clean. I've learned a lot from doing this challenge and I'm still learning. I've adapted to a tough situation and I've come out stronger for it.
I became a better person because of this challenge and I'm still improving myself every day. I learned what foods I could and couldn't eat. Remember how I talked about getting stomach aches in public and barely making it back to my car before I had to make a mess in my diaper? (Those weren't fun drives home!) I've found that I've grown sensitive to certain foods, foods that I no longer eat. While I do miss those foods sometimes, I do not miss the sudden onset of needing to poop immediately.
Can you imagine how uncomfortable I felt when I knew my body was going to poop in minutes, especially since I can't stand using public restrooms? If I didn't find a bathroom within a few minutes, I would have to use my diaper against my will. Feeling that anxiety and stress sure didn't help me, either. However, since the whole point of this challenge is to use my diapers exclusively, there was never a point in trying to hold it to get home when it'll just end up in the seat of my diaper. It was only a matter of time until I could get somewhere safe and away from other people to let my body take care of its needs and for my diaper to take care of me. I always carry the necessary supplies with me in case of accidents like these in a bag that's always in the trunk of my car.
It's a strange feeling giving up control over something so intimate. To give in to the waiting embrace of your diaper for such a private act is surely a display of submission to my diapers. What can I say other than I love it?
It was hard to get over the idea that it was okay to use a fresh diaper to mess if you had to. Diapers are a few dollars at most, so if you can't help but feel that you have to make pushies in your fresh diaper, then that's what has to happen. I used to feel regret when I did this, but now it has become a calm acceptance of something that must happen. I always asked myself if I wanted to try to hold it and deal with the discomfort until I reach the point where I felt like my diaper was wet enough to make it okay to mess or was the cost of one diaper worth my immediate relief from the pressure building up inside?
Of course, when put in simple terms like that, the answer was always use your diaper. I wear them to keep me cozy, comfortable, and above all, safe. That's what they're made for. They're literally made to hold all kinds of body waste, regardless of what it is. They're designed to provide relief for when you just can't hold it anymore. I learned to give in and accept the inevitable mess, and looking at how much time I have left, I wonder how my level of control will be once a couple of years have passed. Currently, I'd say I'm at a 6.5 out of 10 for my level of control, though it varies based on what I eat, how much I eat, and other day to day variables.
About a week and a half ago, I had woken up feeling amazing. Don't know why. As I was stretching, I felt like I had to fart but when I pushed to help things along, I felt something else slide out between my butt cheeks. It was small, but I still had an actual accident while I was still in bed, barely awake. I gave in and pushed as hard as I could, thinking that since I'd just messed myself a little bit, I might as well finish it rather than waiting to get out of bed to finish the job.
It felt great to mess my diaper in bed. I didn't have to leave my bed's warm embrace and I was able to relieve the pressure in my tummy without a second thought. Making pushies into my diaper has become second nature at this point, but not in my bed. I was surprised at how easy it was to mess myself; maybe it was because I wasn't really paying attention to my body's signals because I was still kinda sorta half asleep? Could it have been a result of that night time messing hypnosis that I've been using? Maybe!
Will I be able to achieve my kinky dreams of waking up messy? Perhaps. I saw an interesting post the other day about someone taking Miralax and NyQuil in the hopes of waking up messy for their caretaker and they did, making me wonder if I can achieve the same thing. With all the time I've spent playing with my butt plugs and thicker toys combined with a full year of me messing my diapers as soon as I felt the need, surely I would find it easier than most to accomplish what that couple did. I feel a little apprehension though, mainly because I'm not familiar with how either drug affects my body.
I haven't been sick in years (knock on wood!) so taking a drug to help me sleep while also taking a drug that'll make me poop is something that makes me feel a little uneasy. I think I'd have to first experiment with each separately so I can get a sense of how they'll affect me before I'd combine the two and really give waking up messy a real shot. I've been using the night time messing hypnosis from Baby Pants on and off as my mood and desires swing in regards to waking up messy, but with this new idea in hand, I might just actually achieve my goals and make a lot of you happy and proud of me.
I cannot have done all of this and gone so far without your support, so I wanted to extend my deepest gratitude and thanks for your gifts and for your motivational comments. I truly love reading what you think of my journey and your words of support have been a significant factor in keeping me motivated. Even liking and reblogging my posts have been very helpful, too!
As I'm sure you know by now, this journey of mine is not without its costs. I've had to use many more diapers because of this challenge and it's hard to shoulder the costs, especially when you're diaper dependent as I am. Any kind of support would be immensely appreciated and I would be sincerely grateful. As the pinned post says, anything and everything adds time onto the timer. Once I receive stuff, that item's time gets added onto the timer on my Tumblr's pinned post and on my Twitter bio.
Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/10MYHI152VZRT/
I also sell the biggest diaper training guide ever! It's over 34k words long and is 57 pages. It is the most up to date training guide around, complete with topics like bedwetting, messing, dating, how to adjust to living your best life back in diapers, and everything in between in order to help you become the person you know you really want to be.
Patreon helps fund this journey of mine, so a little support truly does go a long way. https://www.patreon.com/DiaperTraining
Lastly, I want to thank you, the reader, for taking the time to read this. I know it's long but I wanted to make sure that I did a great job on my one year anniversary. Hope you loved it!
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hi rowan! sorry to hear you had a rough day. for the writing ask game: how about 19, 28, and/or 39?
hello mel 💜💜💜 thank you for indulging me (game) i wrote. way too much. and it was a lovely distraction x
19. tell me a story about your writing journey. when did you start? why did you start? were there bumps along the way? where are you now and where are you going?
i will stick with only one of these i think, or this will be far Far too long, so: fic writer rowan, several starts
the first time i remember like specifically intentionally setting out to write something that counts as a story, on purpose & not for school, i am eight & i am handwriting in a composition notebook and i am writing oc/transparent self-insert fanfiction about the protector of the small quartet by tamora pierce. i am using the family computer to look up oc names on angelfire fansites. these are 100% The Days haha.
i do more stuff like that, later; i handwrite pages on pages of pokemon fanfic (make-ur-own region type thing complete with bad drawings of fake pokemon). i do a lot of this kind of thing on my own and for me, and then i am maybe 10 or 11 & i move that to forums (bulbagarden palletshipping thread…..,,,) this is baby fanfic writer rowan genesis, and posting on the internet before i was in middle school entirely killed my desire to do it for over a decade; i write often and a lot even outside of my work (ive completed nanowrimo three times!) but nobody ever sees it.
i get an ao3 in 2013 and post one doctor who fic but i am too scared and i orphan it right away. during a really intense media fixation i try again at the beginning of 2022 despite immense anxiety and find its not so bad. and then again for a different fandom a couple months later, and the response is such an immediate pickmeup & the writer friends ive made are so lovely that ive been trying my best ever since
28. who is the most delightful character youve ever written? why?
this is so hard. sobs. i like writing characters that have unique speech patterns, who like. make the narrative Sound different by being the pov character, which is something thats sometimes kind of hard about english-translated works (am i changing their cadence too much would they actually talk like that how much is my interpretation of the subs messing it up) so,,, i think for me i think the Most delightful characters that i always have the most fun writing are always characters like. avvy rasmr, who talks like a little fantasy spock, or anyone i can give talking quirks (like aye’s petnames). this is a copout u cant ever ask me my favorite anything i cant choose
39. what keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?
you see most of the time i am aware that i love writing its something thats good for me as a person and i feel better when i do it even if its hard and the process occasionally sucks and in that way it is similar to like. taking a stupid mental health walk. you know. so,,,, if i can (sometimes you really just cannot. it happens. its okay) i just…. like….. honestly the ‘i’m being so brave about it’ mindset is good for this. be annoyed & bitch & complain but u still gotta do it and look!!! you did!!!!!
also selective giving up is good for you. have several things to choose from so if something stalls you Can give up, just a little, and go elsewhere for a bit
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{2022生2月} February Screenshots
// Spirit & Strife Zine
I watched Advent Children 5 times between end 2021- beginning 2022 and practiced on his outfit before finally deciding to draw CC Cloud instead. I usually tackle full-bodies for zines, it was a pleasant change to paint a portrait for once~
These are wip-screenshots from both painting and standee I designed (I think they look really cool, I’m happy to share hehe)! This standee is the first piece of merchandise I ever made and it holds a very special place in my heart! Thank you very much for the opportunity ♥ !!
I am currently uploading the timelapse of the painting and I should get to uploading the standee BTS once my package arrives *crosses fingers!* I’ve been keeping for so long, but I’d love to have the entire experience of traditonal-to-digital-to-final_product in one video so I’ll hold for as long as it needs..! ☆ UPDATE FURTHER DOWN, the video is mADE!!
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As a surprise for being here, here’s the little eerie edit I ended up inserting in the timelapse as an add-on
I had 2 files corrupted while working on this. I don’t remember what happened anymore (let me check discord).
..
right
I don’t remember mentioning if I lost any work, but I will assume I lost a couple of hours (+2hrs of trying to restart my pc and make it work again 💀).. Gladly this time there was a very pleasant recovery file which I duplicated and feared every time I saved in PS //cries
Unfortunately file corruptions occur more often now, that's my signal that my poor pc needs an upgrade (who can afford one in this economy??? Prolong the lives of your machines, friends!). I'll live in fear and 5 backup files until I decide my hardware hates anything above 5000px+ files and I go smaller (which is not happening, sorry friend, we'll have to keep being fried a little longer.. hang in there..)
[9月2日Update]
I have uploaded the second (and final) timelapse with a little assembly video at the end and some extras~
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I have the habbit of working at least x2 bigger in file than what goes into print. First lesson learned was this is unnecessary in merch-making of small sizes (I actually worked x3~4 times bigger and it shows in the video why it was a bad idea //wheeze) especially since my lineart is very thin and it gets lost if shrinked. I’ve watched so many merch-making vlogs in the past years, print-test got drilled in my brain and forced myself to test it at least once (gotta be professional about it, right? ;3) It wasn’t too early on, but it was early enough to change the composition of the piece as it set realistic expectations to what would work out or not (the size was so important, I hadn’t realised it would shrink so much because I obviously read very well and was fully aware of the OG size provided by the lovely mods). From the original design to the final I made a lot of changes and I was too obsessed with the meteor to let go. I cut at least 5mins (already sped-up) of me trying to lineart it and failing miserably so I switched back to PS and did it there. I cannot watch my own timelapse anymore without feeling dread and bored lmao, my convolution makes my skin crawl, so meticulous.. If it’s interesting to anyone I’ll be happy, if not then I am not surprised, I am not either! It made a beautiful base regardless, so it was worth it~ On a final note, no I did not 100% forget what kind of idea I had for the flaming buster sword (the meteor was supposed to reflect-in-tiny over it) and completely ignored my initial sketch to polish something I wasn’t sure what it was. It works out in the end so we’re good ok.
If there’s one thing I am taking from working on this is; don’t experiment when merch-making, it will make your life so much easier to stick to a process but knowing myself this is not happening. It’s just not me lol //runs
I am in denial that the zine is finally wrapping up.. It’s been such a wonderful experience sharing the Cloud love between us (for ~7 months?? time flies ;;;;;;!!) //is emotional..
I am very grateful and honoured to be part of this wonderful project ♥ thank you everyone for your lovely company during this time ;; I will always hold our little chit-chats and cloud-love-sharing dearly in my heart. Mod team, you are STELLAR and I hope one day our roads cross again💫!!
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Thank you for making it this far 🌦️
Leftover sales will be up soon, so follow @strifezine // Spirit & Strife zine as it’s your last chance of grabbing a copy or merch item if you missed out on the first round!
#digjsketch#digisketch#digitalsketch#screenshotception#screenshotbsession#myart#ffvii#ffviicc#ff7cc#crisis core cloud#cloud strife
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niki tries new things!
So, just to let y’all know what I’ve been into the past few months, I decided to make a list. some of these things haven’t changed from the past but others have! so if you see me reblogging more about the new things you don’t have to be startled at all :)
A) things 🍑 I still enjoy:
word of honor & faraway wanderers : I don’t think that’s ever gonna change tbh. I’m still writing a long fic for woh and I plan to at least get another one finished for the fandom before taking a break from creating for it. I had one more in store, but it’s becoming oddly personal and I think I’ll work on it in my spare time and possibly never post it, who knows!;
winter begonia : I fell in love with the drama and I’m still reading the novel that it was based on, so of course I’m gonna stick to them for a very long time! I have a long wip in place and another planned for the drama, but they require a lot of research and I’m collecting various pieces of information to give them justice. so I may be on hold in the fandom but not forever!;
other various danmei novels/shows: I’m still waiting on winner is king drama to air :( so you can see me ranting about sha po lang in equal measure. then there’s golden stage, my absolute love, and lord seventh :D so yay for that!;
good omens : the love is resurfacing due to the new season creeping in on us, but it never quite left in the first place. expect more content on the ineffable husbands and their unruly children >:) cannot wait!;
welcome to night vale : I want to pick up the podcast again! :( but I’m a perfectionist at heart and I cannot fathom skipping episodes! so I will have to plan my listening schedule accordingly. wish me luck!;
B) things 👯♀️ I don’t quite enjoy anymore:
the untamed & mdzs : I’m sorry but... it’s not doing it for me anymore ;-; which is sad bc I made good friends through that ;—; but my sparks only come back in regards to it while reading meta or character analysis. I still have some fics saved that I occasionally re-read from my favorite authors, but I think I have outgrown my stay in the fandom. I will be forever grateful for mdzs for introducing me to a bunch of new interesting things to delve into in 2020, for keeping me company during forced isolation and for bringing me joy with lots of new people. AND I think it’s time to let go at the same time. this doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy my friends rambling to me about this or that character, this or that plot point or fanon scenario tho! I’ll just keep my distance and let them have fun :) it’s ok;
lotr & the hobbit : only a few of you will know that this blog was originally a bagginshield nostalgia blog in origin. the username is evidence of that after all! I will always love both fandoms, but I haven’t looked for new content of fics in a while and I routinely re-read old fics rather than engaging with brand new creations so... it’s time to let go. I considered changing my username too, but since i share it with my art blog idk what to do... we will see!;
anime in general : namely Mob Psycho 100. I will always love it, don’t get me wrong. but I haven’t had the emotional capacity to engage with mp100 final season yet and I don’t think I’m ready to let go of it. I will suspend my judgment for now, waiting for when I will be ready to properly move on;
C) NEW ✨ things I enjoy now:
house of the dragon : look. I don’t really care for got or the book!canon in general. I’m just a casual fan ;-; no need to explain all the details to me. more than being a rude tourist who doesn’t bother to learn about the culture, think of me as a tired hostess or steward forced to take a liking to the local fast food place in between flights. that would be me, flipping through the menu and getting hooked on r//haenicent content bc I’m but a smol bi and a simp for pretty and dramatic ladies. sue me. I’m not interested in the discourse, I don’t want to know who is terrible and why, this is fictional and I am tired. but if you see me reblogging stuff from there I will tag accordingly with the proper tags from now on, so you can mute safely;
the devil judge : some of you may have noticed I started talking about this kdrama somewhere about last October and I haven’t been the same since. I won’t write for the fandom but expect me to be annoying and hyper focused on it at all times when you less expect it. I can be quite steadfast in certain aspects of my fandom life and this is no exception;
helluva boss : me? liking indie-turned-super-popular animation? in this economy? it’s more likely than you’d think! look. I’m slightly less casual and more committed about this compared to my recent hotd fixation. but. once again, I have no interest in the discourse. I will reblog stuff from it and make an effort to tag even if I grew out of the habit as of recently. I found out about it last April and it helped with my anxiety. I’m enjoying something new after a long time and it doesn’t even require me to create content for it either. I can just lay back and chill. so. no fighting;
don’t hug me I’m scared : ik it’s unsettling and I care deeply about it, ok? but ik some of you are a bit uncomfortable with the material so I will take precautions and tag appropriately. I will only reblog stuff from the fandom bc I have no mental energy to create any content for it. I have no ship to board and no intention to join any ship tho, so there’s that. I just like the medium and mindlessly engage with it, triggering or not. sometimes I trigger myself just by paying attention to it, but I won’t subject y’all to it and will tag, I promise;
dune : I will be obnoxious about it. blame the upcoming movie for it. the visuals are pretty, the ladies are even prettier and even though I don’t really care for the tim boy I am endlessly entertained by his character since Paul and his life choices are amusing to me: he makes no damn sense, compels me though. also expect me to be annoying af about bene gesserit shenanigans in general bc. well. I’m only human;
the hunger games : less than dune, but the new movie interests me quite a bit. I love me some fictional villains and meta on them. their fictional struggles fascinate me. I don’t want to engage in the discourse with this one either;
succession : I have not watched the series, but an old friend of mine very enthusiastically insisted I give it a try so I will do that while trying to avoid spoilers at the same time. the stakes are high!;
D) things 👀 I’m looking forward to:
crafting : I want to make tiny things ;-; where is the time tho????
reading : there are so many things I want to read! mental health has been wild recently, I barely had energy to keep up with my favorite fic updates :( that’s all I have had energy for in the past few months ;—;
drama series : I’ve been given excellent suggestions but I keep falling asleep at odd times and haven’t found the time for that yet. which is very sad and very upsetting;
drawing : I feel like I haven’t practiced in a very long time and that’s unacceptable!;
music : I have new albums to listen to from my favorite artists, but I feel like I’m putting it off bc I fear I won’t enjoy them much :( , on the other hand I have received amazing suggestions and I’m excited to give them a try!;
I think this is all! I will probably put a “keep reading” on this later on. but yeah! It’s nice to be back :)
#sneaky niki#if any of you are uncomfortable with me liking any of these things know that I want you to be happy#if you want to unfollow me it’s ok#if we are mutuals then by all means I want you to prioritize your happiness#usernames have changed so I might not recognize some of u#but it’s ok. you do u. I do me. hope you will be enjoying yourself on this platform too :)
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I just need to rant, it will be unter the cut, so you can just ignore it if you don't want to read it. But also a quick thing, my next fic will be either an Xiao or Childe fic (or maybe Kaeya? Let me know which character you would prefer.) And will be a pretty self indulgant fic bc I need it. It'll be a bit angsty with some comfort, but I just need to figure out which char I want to pair up with. It will be about a reader that has difficulties sitting still and normally doesn't really get bothered by it until someone says something about it and reader gets insecure and the paired character being sweet and all comforting etc. ♡
Rant under the read more button. (You can just scroll away if you don't want to read it.)
I'll add dates to it to make it a bit clear.
Anyways, so thursday 16 June I had to let a CT scan taken for my lower jaw. I have a wisdom teeth that is growing wrongly and they needed pictures for the operation because the wisdom teeth is near a nerve and if it goes wrong I can lose feeling in my lower lip.
So, I am someone that cannot lay still or sit still. I always need something in my hands to fumble with, wether it is when I am walking, or when in class, if I don't have anything in my hands to fumble with I keep bouncing my legs or just keep changing positions I am sitting in.
Anyways, so I had to take that scan and needed to lay still for it. It normally doesn't take long. I had to do it 3 freaking times!! The first time the iron piece of my mask was on it so they had to take it away. Second time I apparantly swallowed when the picture got taken, swallowing also got count as movement (and the entire time I tried to lay still, but I kept getting twitches in my legs and head from forcing myself to lay still.)
So, the doctor taking those scans walked up to me, placed my head back right and I tried to keep the sticks in my mouth but not biting on it. (Idk why they gave me sticks to put under my teeth, probably to get a certain angle of my jaw.) And well I was already starting to panic, tears welling in my eyes but the doctor would tell me when I could swallow and when not.
So 3rd round finished and she told me I was done and did well and I once again told her I found it very difficult bc I can't lay still. Anyways, it was done and I could go home.
Friday 17th June we got a call from the hospital apparantly I had also moved on the 3rd!! round of taking the scan picture, I bursted out in crying!! I tried so hard to lay still only to hear it wasn't good and the soonest I could take a new scan would be end June.
So, I was in tears so my mom called around mainly to ask if I still could get my wisfom teeth get removed. Even when it would be just 1 or 2 out of those 4. They told me they would call back on Monday, June 20. My operation is supposed to be on Wednesday June 22.
My wisdom teeth have been hurting like a bitch since November 2021, we got me a dentist appointment somewhere on January 2022, and I got a scan in April and got the operation planned for this month. (For that scan I had to olace my chin on a holder and then the devide would turn around me. I once again had a hard time keeping my head still and to not move.)
And in the whole meantime the communication between the hospital and us sucked as fuck. They had papers for the CT scan but we didn't know anything about it!
Anyways, back to today (June 17.) I made an appointment with my doctor, luckily being able to go today and we told about everything that happened and how annoying and insecure it all made me. We talked about what it could be, if it could be of my medication I take for my epilepsy or if we should test me on ADHD, but then my doctor went all sweet!!
She asked me what I would get if I took the test and I said "Just a label," where she responded on that I said that well and she told me that I was just me. That those ticks (she called it them) were a part of me. That it is who I am and no one should say differently and that it was wrong from the hospital to act like that etc. And that it doesn't matter if I am a more of a restless or nervous person because that is what makes me 'me', and she for sure boosted my confidence back up, I'm so gratefull for that!!
Of course it still haunts me and is literally keeping me awake, even though my doctor is totally right, my ticks are a part of me. Not being able to sit still is a part of me. It's who I am. But well, knowing that it did mess up the 3 tries of the scan still weighs heavily on me.
I just hope the operantion can happen as I have been going through hell with the pain for months. I even took antibiotics twice! I'm just so done with it and just needed to get it off my chest.
So, lots of cookies to anyone that readnit ♡♡
#genshin impact x reader#childe x fem!reader#childe x reader#rant post#kaeya alberich#kaeya x reader#kaeya x fem!reader#xiao x reader#xiao x fem!reader#childe tartagalia#tartaglia x fem!reader#one shot#genshin x reader
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Musings of April 2024
A little bit of a different wrap up post this month. For many different reasons it has been a period of again processing (bad) experiences in various communities and acknowledging the lingering effects. Which also has made me recall repeated conversations I have been involved in where two sayings were put forth that are apt.
‘But the wheel what squeaks the loudest is the one what gets the grease.’
‘The nail that sticks up is hammered down the most.’
These axioms are in reality a bit disparate in wisdom. But they share the good/bad in drawing attention. (The wheel quote comes after the lines ‘I don’t believe in kickin’, It ain’t apt to bring one peace;’. Also, if tracing that expression be aware the performer as a child started their career done up in blackface among other racist material. On the other hand, the nail expression has enumerable variations.) A lot is left implied too on exactly why either is sticking out or making noise, only that there will be action taken. Even consider whether it is the appropriate action. After all hammering on a nail could damage it or what it is a part of instead of correcting a hazard and holding things together. A little lubrication of a wheel may quiet it but is that all to it or a warning there is more to do to ensure things roll on smoothly. (There is even a little illicit interpretation one might take since ‘grease’ also has slang meanings.)
One can think then about the most noticeable thing being the one to receive focus. Which can create a problem when there are other issues going on too. There is a need to think through whether a response is not attentive enough, overly attentive, or balanced. So that everything is being properly looked at and taken care of in an equitable manner. In addition, when it comes to manipulation, abuse etc. this often hides under the surface or is ignored or dismissed. What is more likely to be perceived, importantly for what they are? The facade and actions of a perpetrator, those they have influenced, or their injured target(s) and reaction?
Also, apparently it needs to be said— there aren’t perfect victims. The ideas around the ideal victim, even what constitutes a victim, intricate in addition to having a host of implications. Furthermore, reactions to victimization are often messy. If people truly want communities that are diverse and safer, then people must be able to feel they can be in spaces, can speak up, can be listened to, and that these are worthwhile choices. That this helps enable better things, better outcomes.
Some conformity and sacrifice can be beneficial, even necessary at times. Yet complying with certain expectations can become something insidious too. Particularly when the matter is someone trying to navigate harm they have experienced, or a desire to not see it repeated in a community. Especially while being treated as the only or primary problem instead. At its worst another method of gaslighting, demonization, and again at a higher-level reinforcing hierarchy and the status quo while covering failure, lack of focus, and ability to handle the issues. Which too will let thrive and exacerbate those issues.
I do not write out a bunch of this to make out like its easy, or simple. People grapple with this stuff every day and will keep doing so. It is uncomfortable. It is not black and white. Nor does one thing being true automatically make others false or a free pass from accountability. But I am so tired.
Many a place again feels like somewhere optics come over ethics. Where shutting up and silence are more valued. Where identities become a shield and weapon. Where the multifaceted hurt and hurting cannot be addressed. Where the bar is impossibly high. Where any failing makes one as bad as the other. Where repeated failures and patterns prevail.
Therefore, I am taking a break. Hopefully be back later to resume posting about (queer) books.
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im going thru shit
TW for body image issues, potential eating disorder, physical and mental illness
As of writing this I'm 26 years old.
I was very active my entire youth. I was in a circus/theater/performance group from 8-12 y/o, riding horses from 10-17 y/o, pole dancing from 14-20 y/o (I started dancing less and less after moving out from my parents' place at 19/20, and by 21 y/o I was almost not dancing at all).
At 18 y/o I got mononucleosis and was out for almost two-three months IIRC, and even though I started working out again too early I managed to bounce back somewhat.
But at 21 y/o I started getting severe symptoms of ulcerative colitis in the summer (I had had minor symptoms before, not realizing what it was) which ended with me in the hospital by the winter.
I lost about 10+kg in less than two weeks and all my muscles had deteriorated. Before I still had some visible muscle evem though I had gotten softer, but after the hospitalization I lost both fat, mass and muscle. My ribs and hip bones were sticking out and I couldn't open a bottle of coca cola on my own because I was too weak. I swore to myself that I'll rather be fat than feel like this again.
But it took me many months to recover completely. For a long while I was on high doses of medication, pretty strict diet and such. Once I was free to eat as I pleased I started overeating instead. Not by a lot at first, but thus past year especially has been... a lot of overeating. Big portions, lots of snacks and soda, etc. Most of this more drastic change has been caused by a lot of work related stress. I was on sick leave due to burnout for three months, quit my job and am now studying instead. There's also been changes in my medicine for my general depression/anxiety, but I'm not too comfortable talking about that, even if they might play a big role. I can talk about my diagnoses, but not medication. I also have ADHD and have had 2 episodes of paranoia, but when I got help for the paranoia I was in the recovering stage and they couldn't diagnose it.
Two years or so ago (ca 4 years after diagnosis and hospitalization) I tried to pick up pole dancing again, but the room filled with mirrors and me not being to perform the way I used to took a much bigger toll on my self esteem than expected. I kept at it for the full 8 weeks but I often felt like crying during and when I came home.
Last time I weighed myself, maybe last year, I was at about 70kg. I'm 165cm tall. I'm certain I weigh a hell of a lot more than that today though, but I'm way too scared to find out.
I've tried exercising on my own, but I can barely keep up with the lightest workout schedule. My body is often shaking, as if I've been doing a full body workout for 2 hours, even if I haven't worked out at all. I can do maybe 5 push-ups on my knees, but the shivering makes it difficult to continue, even if it feels like I can do more my body locks up and I just can't. I don't even get sore the day after, since I can't work out to that level.
The weight that I have gained has become very visible as well. I have had huge wardrobe issues and I don't recognize myself in the mirror anymore.
I've come to hate my body more and more. I've had periods of insecurities about my body before, but never like this. Never this disgust and hatred. Endless hours have been spent looking at old pictures of myself with clearly visible muscle definition, all gone. So now I'm weak, and fat (or at the very least quite chubby).
Among all of this shit I also have ARFID. I have 5 big food groups that I cannot eat. No amount of therapy or working on it has helped for 26 years. My parents can't even remember me ever eating something from these food groups even as a very young child. So "eating right" isn't exactly easy.
It just feels like I keep making all of these excuses as to why I can't exercise. "Just go for walks!" I can't, my social phobia brought on by the paranoia makes it hard to go outside on my own, I pretty much only go for walks if I got somewhere to be or someone to walk with. This makes me feel like a whiny asshole snowflake but it is true.
I'm at a loss. I'm currently working together with my partner to try our best to make me eat as healthy as possible, and as they are in charge of 99% of cooking they are gonna count calories for me. I'm scared that if I count calories on my own it will spiral into an eating disorder. I've decided that all my breaks from studying will contain liggt exercise, like jumping jacks or mountain climbers. Maybe I'm gonna get it right this time, and get my real body back. Maybe.
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How to Decide If You Want a Loan for the Unemployed People
This can be a difficult decision. I mean when I was unemployed for around a month, I was scared of a loan after the first week passed. Then I realised that things could go right. If I wanted, I could have gotten an unemployment loan even earlier. However, for the side of life lessons, I am good.
Now that you know that I took out an unemployed loan, you need not worry that much. However, I can tell you that taking out this loan must be a very conscious choice for you. You do not have to take out a loan for the sake of taking out a loan. Check whether or not you can get to a point about borrowing them and then you can make the deal.
As mentioned in the title, the unemployed loans will make sense when you know about them. Of course, you can repay them more easily when you are sure about them, right? In that sense, I can tell you this article can help you a little. Just stick to it and find more information about the unemployed loan.
What Are Loans for the Unemployed People?
You might say that a loan is always a loan. Your lenders lend you the money and then you fail to repay and then comes legal troubles. Of course, legal troubles will follow you if you cannot repay the loan in the said term duration and rate. However, my question is: Why would you let that happen?
This is where we need to come to a very close observation of the loan. These are personal loans where we readily get the money from the lenders without collateral. Therefore, you can call these loans unsecured loans too. Although secured loan options exist, most unemployed loans come as personal loans to help you keep things hassle-free and quick.
When I took out the money from a direct lender organisation, the officials told me that the money they got for me was much easier to approve because it was a personal loan. Since no such verification hassle is present for collateral, you do not have to worry about lengthy and complex borrowing.
These loans work differently than you have expected them. They work according to your income details. You can share them with your lender and then get the approval for the loans in return.
But the problem is how you can repay your lender when the income area itself is compromised. Well, the answer to that is the way you want to repay. If you state how and when you wish to repay your lender, then you can make a borrowing deal.
What we are looking at here is that the borrowing is dependent on any form of income. It can be freelance or part-time or even income from business.
If this statement reaches your lender loud and clear, then you can be eligible for a loan for the unemployed with bad credit too. Your credit score might be shared with the lender. However, it is done to ensure that you get the right loan product.
How to Determine My Need for an Unemployed Loan?
Although you may think that getting an unemployment loan is difficult in situations like these, it is fairly easy to get a loan when you know how you can repay it. The good news is there is more than one way.
Check Your Future Income Probabilities
Is it that you have gotten a job already but you will join a few days later? Or are you not working now and taking a break from work?
In these scenarios, you already have a document of your income. However, you are not getting that income right now. You can supply this document to get your loan approved.
Do You Have an Extra Income Source (And Can You Manage One)?
Busy professionals do have networking. They know where work can be found. If you do not manage to get employed in a day job, then use your skills to find an alternative job such as a part-time one or a freelance job. You can also go to your local non-profit organisations to get a good job. Many of these companies can pay you for work on a contractual basis.
Check Your Loan Affordability
If you can manage the earnings part, then you can look for your loan affordability. You can use a loan calculator to check and find out whether or not you can repay the fixed instalments using the income you came up with.
Now one might still find the loan more expensive. I would suggest you go for a lower amount. It still pays the bill and you know you can repay the money.
Choose Benefits If You Don't Earn Directly
Now, if you still do not have any earnings at the moment, then you can use benefits programs. The benefits can be used as allowances to get you the money.
Not everyone might receive benefits. However, you can apply for it. If, you get them or you are supposed to get them, then you may use the document to get your loan.
To Conclude: Business Plans Can Work too
One of my friends took the help of business plans to get money and yes, she was unemployed. You can plan to start a business with no job. However, if you made a business plan showing transparently the financial returns, then lenders will be happy to help you out.
Hope this article has given you some assistance. it is time for you to check these points and find out if you are eligible for a loan. You may also try to speak these things out with a private lender. They can help you fantastically when you're confused.
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About damn time
Lately, I asked my sister to create an exercise routine to stretch my body and tone my muscles. After several nudges, we sat down and discussed what I wanted to improve. I've been feeling my weight for months now, alternating between dance workouts and 30-minute walks around the neighborhood. But I couldn't stick with it because of our office schedule and well, mostly because I'm lazy.
I was also feeling heavy physically and emotionally -- not confident and was just downright unhappy with how I look. My clothes do not properly fit and I don't look good. For two weeks last month, my officemates and I have been downing bottles of soju before going home. Probably stress and frustration with life in general. It was fun at first, but I felt super down when, for two days straight I went home drunk. I thought, why am I even doing this.
So there. We needed an intervention.
***
The exercise routine starts with stretches. For the first few days, I cannot reach my toes, but several more days and I can finally touch it. I was so happy. Hahaha! Small wins.
A week passed and the leg raises and fire hydrants became much more enjoyable. They're still difficult, I feel the heat, but that should be good right? Bird-dog would probably be my favorite. It should improve my balance and endurance, before I go on full planks.
My sister planned the routine for two weeks, but then advised me to continue doing it for the rest of October. She told me to increase my sets and just this morning, I hit my goal of 30-min workout. Usually, I set 15-20mins every morning for this. I deliberately chose to report late to the office if I wanted to maintain this routine. Good thing, we're allowed some leeway given our teaching time.
I need to continue to commit to this routine, it's been a month now and I feel lighter. Should be good. We're also committing to more greens and fruits to complement our exercises. I personally vowed to eat rice once every 2-3 days, instead of having it daily. One thing I cannot let go is coffee. Keeps me sane. Should probably drink more water if I find this hard to leave out. So far, my siblings and I succeeded in lessening food deliveries. It's been making a dent on our finances and also adding a lot of calories to our tummies. Good thing to gradually get rid off.
Still have that belly fat. Smaller now, hopefully. I weighed myself last month, lost 2 kilos since my last weigh in. I hope to lose 6 more by the end of this month. That's a far reach but we need to. I forgot to tell you, my weight recently is considered Obese 1. That's largely the reason why I was so disappointed with myself and I vowed to take on this challenge.
I still want to return to muay thai since I promised myself that. But let's get my body ready for a more intense routine first before plunging into something bigger. Lately, I've been pushing myself to take small steps. I get frustrated with big leaps without equally big outcomes, so let's tone things down a bit.
***
The other thing I need to work on is cleansing the mind. I've been having bad thoughts recently, so we need to tune out and just savor some quiet time. Also, need to go back to sleeping early.
Here's to hoping for a good week ahead.
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