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slightlycrunchy · 3 years

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pre-slash geraskier, angst with happy ending, whump, bodyswap, hc

1800 words

Enjoy!

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

“Dammit Jaskier, did you really have to call her that—“

Geralt stops mid-sentence, hand flying up to his own throat to stop the sound that has come from his mouth. He’s panting slightly, the witch having thrown them through a shoddy excuse for a portal into some endless partition of wilderness.

It looks like Velen. He’s sure it’s Velen.

His fingers crawl up his throat to his face, feeling slight stubble instead of the beard Geralt has grown over their weeks on the Path, which blankets a thinner face than Geralt is accustomed to. He looks down, expecting to see leather armor covering black cloth, the straps that cross his chest to hold his swords at his back, only to see silk; red, and gleaming with gold stitching across his torso.

Jaskier’s favorite.

He curses inwardly, kicks himself mentally for bringing the damn bard along. Of course he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, of course just as Geralt had finished his business with her and was accepting payment the foppish dandy had to go run his mouth.

“My dear, I thought witches could keep themselves young forever, and well, I think we can all see that maybe you aren’t as powerful as you try to appear—“

The bard had got no further than that. Witches and mages have notoriously short tempers and Jaskier knows this—and yet, here they are.

Thrown away like refuse and trapped in each others’ bodies.

Geralt can feel the snarl on his lips and it feels entirely wrong, the shape of his mouth pulling where usually it would not. He feels small and light, where usually the bulk of his own muscle would weigh him down at every turn, and as he lifts his hand to marvel at the foreign sensations, he gapes at his long and slender fingers.

Geralt has always felt…something about Jaskier’s hands, something he struggles to name. Sometimes he thinks it admiration—for their ability and their elegance. Where Geralt’s are toughened by hard labor and age, Jaskier’s have always been the complete opposite.

Geralt has held them, a time or two, and the almost feminine quality to them is a novelty. He looks at them now, controlling them as he clenches and spreads them, flipping them over to see unblemished skin and pale knuckles. He’s so engrossed for a moment that the rest isn’t noticed immediately.

Silence.

Pure, blessed silence.

It surrounds him, like a cocoon, like thick wool wrapped up to his ears in softness and calm. Geralt has lost his age—he stopped caring decades ago, after all, the information does him no good—but he knows he’s over a century by now, and yet he can’t remember the last time he felt like this. A time when every snap of a twig or breath of the people around him could be heard and analyzed for danger. Hypervigilance. Always, always Geralt is ready. For his next fight, his next job, the next time he must defend himself from the world that dislikes him for no good reason. His time before the trials is blurry at best, forgotten at worst, and he decides right now that this is the most peace he’s ever felt.

He should have known it wouldn’t last.

“Ger-Geralt,” Jaskier gasps as he falls to his knees inside a witcher’s body.

It’s strange hearing his own voice sound so vulnerable, broken, breathy and quiet as he rushes to Jaskier’s side while the bard’s chest—his own chest—rises and falls rapidly. The comfortable silence inside his mind is restless now; Jaskier’s suffering is loud and insistent in an intangible way. It always has been.

“It burns Geralt—“ Jaskier bites out between clenched teeth, canines long and conspicuous. It’s strange seeing his own body like this, housing Jaskier’s soul, his very being. It clenches something in Geralt’s chest that he has not time to name.

“Jaskier, what is it? Tell me what’s wrong.”

Had the witch done something else to him? In her anger had she cursed the bard, hurt him in some other way? He can’t smell blood—but then again he wouldn’t be able to now, would he?

Jaskier’s body is heaving, on his knees and doubled over like some wounded thing. Geralt can see tears fall and hit the dirt, nails scrabbling for purchase at Geralt’s borrowed forearm, nearly tearing at the thick fabric of Jaskier’s frivolous doublet.

“My head, it’s exploding— It’s too much— How do you…” Jaskier starts and stops and slowly, in horror, the reality washes over Geralt.

While Geralt enjoys his first peace in an era, Jaskier has been dropped into a pit of torture.

Immediately Geralt places slender hands over Jaskier’s ears, attempting to muffle the onslaught of sensation that he must feel. Every sound, every vibration must be pounding at Jaskier’s head, wave after wave of movement, life, the earth shoving its way into Jaskier’s consciousness.

Jaskier’s golden eyes connect with Geralt’s borrowed blue, wide and wet, before he promptly turns and vomits onto the ground.

“Jaskier, I’m sorry, I’m sorry just—hold on.”

He doesn’t know what to do. They’re an unknown distance from the one who caused this—from relief—and yet Jaskier can hardly handle minutes of this. Jaskier chokes and spits, his entire body trembling under Geralt’s palms and the witcher can do nothing but stroke gentle thumbs over wet cheeks. It hurts him when Jaskier rises again, looking with pained eyes at Geralt. He doesn’t speak, Geralt isn’t sure if he really can, yet his eyes plead with Geralt to end it, please I can’t take it.

Geralt doesn’t know how he understands these words without hearing them, but they only drive the stake further into his heart.

Jaskier is suffering, and it’s Geralt’s fault.

He can remember, now especially, how those first weeks had been at Kaer Morhen after the trials were complete. Utter agony and sleepless nights as he withered away with the inability to keep anything down. Sound, feeling, pain overwhelming him constantly until his body could adjust. He remembers the fevers, Vesemir by his bedside with cool cloths and the kindest words he could remember hearing in recent memory.

He thought he would die.

“End it, please I don’t want to do this anymore—“

But he had survived…and somewhere along the way he had forgotten the beginning, the mutagens running through his veins like fire and adding to the never ending harshness of his new life. Now, however, he remembers in startling clarity.

Jaskier won’t survive this.

Geralt brings Jaskier to his smaller chest, forcing one ear against his rabbiting, human heart all while holding his hand closed over the other—acting as a beacon, a point of focus for Jaskier’s hearing that takes in everything around them. It won’t fix anything, but Geralt hopes it will help. Jaskier shivers, his breaths stuttered and sick, gasps taken between chattering teeth. Geralt knows his real body will be fine, it hasn’t stopped being a witcher’s after all, no matter who holds the reins, but Jaskier’s mind…humans were not built for this. They are fragile, temporary things.

Geralt feels panic bubble up within him and it is a sensation he hasn’t felt in a long time.

Geralt feels fear, contrary to popular belief, though not for himself. He has felt fear on behalf of others many times, but it is dull, manageable. He can easily breathe through it and tackle the situation at hand, the slow beat of his heart keeping the adrenaline from flooding his veins. But Jaskier’s body is mortal and weak in this regard, and he feels it slam into him, sharp and all encompassing as his stomach lurches when the bard falters beneath his palm, sagging with exhaustion so quickly that Geralt struggles to hold him up. Geralt’s borrowed muscles strain, but they hold; to be honest, Jaskier’s body is stronger than Geralt would have given him credit for.

He tightens his hold on the bard, and a thought suddenly occurs to him.

“Jaskier, you’re going to be alright, I want you to listen to my voice.”

Jaskier’s voice has always been calming to Geralt, and so he does the only thing he can think of: he talks.

About what, he doesn’t know; he certainly doesn’t have the wherewithal to make a coherent storyline, but he babbles all the same. He speaks of Roach and his contracts, his brothers and his childhood—the good parts that he remembers and his early days on the Path.

All the while he runs hands through white strands, putting a pleasant (he hopes) pressure against Jaskier’s scalp. He remembers Eskel doing this for him in those early days; it helped. He hopes it helps now.

He doesn’t know how long they sit there awkwardly upon the ground, Geralt’s untrained legs falling numb as his knees begin to ache. The time doesn’t matter, only keeping the pain at bay, the war against Jaskier’s fragile mind as it rages and slashes at the door.

Eventually Jaskier’s stamina gives out, and he falls, but only so far. Geralt catches him, and after folding his legs out from beneath him with a grimace, lays his actual body against his borrowed one, Jaskier’s head falling to the side in his unconsciousness. All the while long, slender fingers never stop carding through white strands.

Geralt lets the panic ebb away, having come up with a plan some time ago while holding Jaskier so close they practically felt like one. Jaskier’s bag lays to Geralt’s right, just at arms length and inside he knows the xenovox is cradled between extra pairs of garish clothing. When Geralt had remembered, he had never been so happy that Jaskier tended to keep his things on him rather than tied up with Roach.

Roach. With a sigh Geralt realizes he needs to find her too. Another thing to take care of after the witch.

He won’t forgive her for what she’s done.

With ginger movements so as to not wake the sleeping bard on his lap, he grabs the bag and soon finds what he is looking for. He savors the moment of quiet that has descended in Jaskier’s sleep, letting the panic and fear that tastes bitter on his tongue disappear into a practiced ease.

Yennefer will be annoyed with him, and once Geralt has gotten over what has just happened, he in turn will be annoyed with Jaskier. The bard got them into this mess after all. But as he looks down on Jaskier, his own sleeping form—a shudder going through him at the wrongness of it all—he decides perhaps not.

The bard has gone through enough, after all.

A voice comes over the device, slightly muffled and crackling, “Geralt?”

“Yen.”

“The bard? What are you doing with this, this wasn’t for your use.”

“Yen, it’s Geralt.”

Silence rests between them for a moment, the only sound Geralt hears with his human ears being the rustling of wind through the trees around him. He tries to savor it.

She sighs. “Oh, for fucks sake.”

He smiles.

#the witcher #geraskier #angst #hurt/comfort #my writing #fic

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isolemnlyswearpevensie · 4 years

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You’re Not Mine | Peter Pevensie x Reader

Warnings: Jealousy ig? A lil angst if you squint

Time/Era: Golden Age

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: When two foreign royals take interest in Peter and Y/N, jealousy arises.

Requests: 1) hi :) i was wondering if you could maybe do a jealous!peter x reader ?? not enough of those hehe thank u so much

2) If possible can you do a peter pevensie x reader where the reader gets jealous clingy due to another queen from another royal kingdom flirting with him if that makes sense idk if it does but yeah 😂

A/N: Hi! I hope it’s okay I combined these two :) They’re quite similar so I thought they would work well together! Enjoy! Also, the Prince and Princess obviously don’t exist in canon, but they do in this story lol.

masterlist | narnia playlist | read on ao3

It was an unspoken agreement that Peter and Y/N only had eyes for eachother. Their arrangement was never made official nor spoken about but by their actions, it was more than obvious. High King Peter was infatuated with Y/N, and he was wrapped around her finger. Whether it was due to her unbelievably inviting demeanor or her ability to listen to Peter speak for hours, the poor king couldn’t get enough of the girl. Y/N was always there to offer support, without offering advice unwarranted, and she managed to crack Peter’s shell quite quickly.

Y/N wasn’t a royal, nor was she a member of the official staff at Cair Paravel. Rather, she was just a normal girl in her late teens that happened to stumble upon Narnia, much like the royal family. Peter envied that she didn’t have any real responsibility or ties to the Kingdom; she was just a normal citizen who happened to befriend her rulers. What Peter didn’t understand was that she did have a responsibility. And a big one at that. She offered support to her Kings and Queens as normal friends, rather than monarchs who had all of the answers. Y/N kept her friends sane and relaxed. Her job could be seen as one of the more important jobs in the kingdom for that sole reason.

“I’m not too excited about tomorrow, if I’m being honest,” Peter spoke hesitantly, sharpening his blade. The king sat upon a large rock in the courtyard, whereas Y/N was perched on a nearby bench.

“And may I ask why?” Y/N hummed, her hands working on a daisy chain. She glanced up at her friend, unbothered by the shrill sound of the sharpening metal. Taking care of his blades was a coping mechanism Peter had taken up, so anything that helped him clear his mind didn’t bother Y/N in the slightest.

“King Lune is bringing Princess Alexandra and Prince Frederick along to the deal,” Peter’s hands worked on his sword, his brow scrunched in frustration. “Which means more Archenland soldiers in Narnia. The more foreign soldiers in Cair Paravel, the more on edge the entire kingdom appears. I don’t want them to think we fear them.”

“Ah, I see. Hand me that flower will you, Pete?” Y/N pointed at a daisy near his foot. Peter plucks it from the soil and hands it to Y/N. “Thank you. What deal are you trying to make?”

“Ed and I are trying to get them to sign a peace treaty, which may or may not be a good idea.”

“Isn’t there a third Prince? Prince Rub The Rash or something?” Y/N’s voice resembled a giggle.

Peter snickers, “Rabadash, yeah. Apparently he has important matters to deal with and won’t be attending. A blessing, if you ask me.”

Y/N holds her daisy chain up in the light and observes her handiwork. The stems were woven around eachother securely and each flower was on perfect display. She grinned and fastened the ends together so it formed a crown.

“So, a peace treaty. That’s good, yeah? More allies, or whatever.”

“Yeah, that’s a good way to look at it. We’re just not too positive about what they want in return. Something tells me that’s why the Prince and Princess are tagging along.” At these words, Peter makes a sharp movement and the metal of his sword emits a high pitched screech.

“You mean marriage?”

“Yeah, marriage. Susan and I, most likely.”

Y/N sucks in air through her nose harshly. “Oh, I see.” She stands from the bench and stands right in front of her king.

Y/N delicately pulls his crown from his head, placing her daisy chain in its place. His dirty blonde hair smooths against his forehead and Peter looks up with his beautiful blue eyes. Y/N always adored his eyes; no matter how his body language looked, his eyes always displayed his true emotions.

“You look nice with flowers in your hair, my king.” Y/N’s voice was soft, making Peter understand what she was feeling immediately.

“Thank you, but you know you don’t have to address me with formalities.”

The two were extremely close in this moment; just observing the other’s faces. Peter hand a stone-cold look on his face, but his irises were filled with doubt and sadness. Y/N sighed, taking a step back and diverting her gaze.

“Well, you are my king. I don’t see anything wrong with addressing you as such.”

“I’m more than just your king, Y/N. You of all people should know that.”

“What’s her name again?” Y/N had turned her back to Peter. She heard Peter set the objects in his hands on the grass and stand.

“Who’s name?”

Y/N tightened her grip on Peter’s metal crown. “The princess you are set to marry.”

“Why does it matter?” The jagged edges of the crown dug into Y/N’s palm.

“What is it, your majesty?”

“Alexandra. Princess Alexandra.” Peter’s large hand fell to Y/N’s lower back and he guided her to sit on the bench.

“King Peter and Queen Alexandra, that has a bit of a ring to it.” Her gaze fell to the metal between her fingers, her thumb running across a small red jewel.

“Y/N, stop it. If it’s marriage we’re not going to go through with it. Ed and I have already spoken about this with Susan.”

“Peter, I don’t think you understand something very important,” Y/N moved her head in one fluid motion to lock eyes with Peter. “You’re not mine, and you never will be. You’re High King of Narnia. I’m just, well, me. And we can never change that.”

Peter rose his hand and adjusted the flowers atop his head so they wouldn’t fall off. “I have all the power needed to change that, Y/N.”

“But why would you? Why would you risk the safety of Narnia for me?”

Peter sighs. “How about this, you come to the agreement, yeah? We’re holding a ball beforehand so we can ‘mingle’ and scope out their intentions.” Y/N nods solemnly, handing the crown back to its owner.

“Flowers really do suit you, Peter.” And with that, Peter’s favorite girl stands and walks back towards the castle.

“How’s the punch? I heard it’s not very good,” A voice pulls Y/N out of her trance. She was currently watching a very handsy Princess Alexandra feel Peter’s biceps and giggle.

“Pardon?” She looked up to see a very handsome man leaning against the wall. He was rather tall and lanky, with long ginger hair that was swept into his eyes. Atop his head sat a golden crown, very similar to Peter’s, and his face was twisted into a grin. The man was extremely attractive, with his slightly cocky body language and flirty tone.

“Is the punch good? Tasty? Pleasing to the tastebuds? I heard it wasn’t.” In his hand, he held a small clear cup filled with red liquid. He raises it to his pink lips and takes a gulp.

“Seems like you just answered your own question.”

“It was alright,” He smiles. “It would be better if I knew your name, though.”

“Your drink would be better if you knew my name?” Y/N laughs, growing more comfortable in the presence of who she assumed was Prince Frederick.

“Well, it would make my day, night, week, month, year, life better. My drink is just a part of that,” He winked and took another sip. “I’m Prince Frederick, but someone as pretty as you can call me Fred,” The royal held out his hand for a handshake.

Y/N giggled and shook it. “Y/N, I’m a close friend of the Narnian Kings and Queens.”

Y/N couldn’t help but be charmed by the mysterious prince. He was funny and flirty, which was probably exactly how he wanted to appear as. Peter, on the other hand, hated what he saw. He was across the room but watching Y/N’s body language ignited a fire inside his stomach.

“You’re so strong, King Peter,” Princess Alexandra squeezed his upper arm. Peter glanced at her then back at Y/N.

“Thanks,” He responded shortly, tight jawed with his hand on the hilt of his sword. His eyes glanced over the pair and his gaze took in the subtle changes of his love. She was facing Frederick head-on while throwing her head back to laugh at whatever he’s saying.

“Who are you looking at?” Alexandra said, placing two fingers on his cheek and turning his head to face her.

Peter pushed away from her presence and walked over to the pair. “Excuse me,” The two turn their head towards Peter. Y/N’s smile faltered at Peter’s expression; he looked almost angry and was staring daggers into Fred’s skull.

“Hello, my King,” Y/N bowed, acting formal as there were guests in the room.

He ignores Y/N and turns to Prince Frederick. “Who are you?”

This doesn’t seem to faze Fred as he lazily sips his drink. “I’m Prince Frederick. You must be King Peter, I was just talking to your friend.” He moves his cup to gesture Y/N.

“I can see that,” Peter mumbles. A similar look of disdain falls over Y/N’s face as her eyes follow the path Peter took to get to her. At the end stood Princess Alexandra, now speaking to Edmund.

“How is Princess Alexandra?”

“Oh, she’s doing great. Thinks I’m very strong.”

“Oh, good.” Y/N responds passive-aggressively.

“Yeah, it’s great. She was just feeling my bicep. Said it was the biggest she’s ever felt, mmhm.”

Fred looks between the two awkwardly, raising his eyebrows and taking it as his cue to leave. He pushes off the wall and meets his sister in the middle of the room.

“Fred, he said I can call him that by the way, just got done calling me pretty before you got here,” Y/N looked up at Peter, her eyebrow quirked and arms crossed over her chest.

Peter glances over at Edmund and nods before grabbing Y/N’s arm and dragging her out of the room. He pushes her against a wall a little bit away from the ballroom.

“I told you I wasn’t marrying her, why are you doing this?” His breath fanned her lips as he spoke.

“Doing what?”

“Flirting with Princey,” Peter’s body pinned Y/N’s against the stone brick wall. “I saw how you were talking.”

“Why were you flirting with Miss Princess if you weren’t planning on marrying her?”

“I wasn’t!”

“I saw her feel you up, Peter!” Y/N huffed in frustration, her hands coming to push and his shoulder. However, Peter was a wall and held his ground with little to no effort.

“She felt my arm for, like, 10 minutes. Big deal. You actually flirted back.”

“I did no such thing, thank you very much. I was too busy watching you flirt with whats-her-face to even notice Prince Frederick!”

Peter slammed a fist into the brick before pressing a sheering kiss to Y/N’s lips. The kiss was hot and rushed; both parties putting all of their emotions into the one action. Teeth clashed and tongues wrestled until Peter eventually pulled away breathlessly. His lips were swollen and red, and Y/N assumes she looked the same.

“I don’t want to marry her, Y/N. I want to marry you. I am so fucking in love with you,” Peter shook his head, walking in a small circle before returning to his place. “And seeing you with Princey really made me understand that I need you.”

“Then, what are you waiting for, My King?”

“Well, a yes would be nice.”

Y/N giggled, and all tension seemed to dissipate. “Well, I haven’t been asked anything yet.”

Peter’s grin matched Y/N’s. “Well, Lady Y/N, would you marry me and become my queen?”

“Yes, Peter. Took you long enough.”

The two laughed once more before pressing their lips together once more. Unlike the last kiss, this one was feather-light and full of love. Peter caressed the sides of Y/N’s face with his rough hands and pressed his lips against hers with much certainty.

“There you are!” Edmund rounded the corner just as the couple pulled apart. “Good news! You two managed to weird out the Prince and Princess so much that they’re backing out of the arrangement. King Lune was convinced to sign the treaty with no further complications.”

#peter pevensie #king peter #king peter the magnificent #peter pevensie x reader #king peter x redaer #the chronicles of narnia #the chronicles of narnia fanfic #the chronicles of narnia fanfiction #peter pevensie fanfiction #peter pevensie fanfic #narnia #c.s. lewis #c. s. lewis #edmund pevensie #edmund pevensie x reader #susan pevensie #susan pevensie x reader #lucy pevensie #lucy pevensie x reader

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iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years

Text

The Order

Request: Could I please get a Sirius Black (golden era) imagine? Where the reader is a professor at Hogwarts and wants to join the order and help them fight, but her and Sirius get off on the wrong foot but eventually fall for each other?

A/N: This was requested by the lovely @obsessedwithrandomthings. I hope you like it and I hope I have done your request justice. I really enjoyed writing it! To the other requests in my inbox, I am getting there with them. I know that it’s frustrating but I am working on them.

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of blood, injuries, some angst? Sirius is a bit of a tit tbh

Word count: 3.2k+

Teaching was a rewarding profession. Teaching at Hogwarts, however, was beyond rewarding – it used to be joked that in teaching, you would never smile until Christmas. At Hogwarts, that simply wasn’t true. A smile graced your face every single day for every single class because teaching brought you this much joy. There were tough days, of course there was, especially after the rise of Voldemort; but still, you smiled for the students and tried to vanquish as many worries as you could. More and more time in your lessons was becoming dedicated to quashing any worries as the number of students coming to you for advice increased. After all, the students saw you more than they did their own parents as a result of the boarding aspect of the school.

It was this thought that spurred you to accost Dumbledore in his office one evening after the beginning of the school year.

“I want to help, Professor.” You stated.

“How would you do that?” He asked.

“I’m not entirely sure, but I will not let one child in this school feel unsafe, Dumbledore. They spend more time here than they do at home. Help me help them feel safe.” You implored the Headmaster – an attempt to appeal to the professor that still lingered within, that still could care for his student body.

Something sparkles in Dumbledore’s eyes, “Come to this address on Saturday, there’s a meeting taking place at 2pm. You might be the person we need.”

You nodded, taking the piece of parchment from him, “I’ll be there.”

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Saturday rolls around quickly, the nerves have already settled in your stomach, your breakfast threatening to make an appearance as you floo from your respective home at Hogwarts to the address written on the parchment given to you by Dumbledore.

Confusion sets in quickly as you take in your surroundings: a residential street in a London borough – how could this help defeat the Dark Lord?

Then the buildings start to move; a house appearing as if from nowhere. You can’t help but admire the craftmanship that went into conjuring this concealment spell.

Taking a deep breath, you walk up to the front door, knocking twice. Your nerves are raging now, your stomach feeling as if it has been taken over by butterflies.

A lady answers the door; she’s small with fading ginger hair but her face is welcoming and warm as she ushers you into the entryway.

“You must be (Y/N). I’m Molly Weasley.”

You smile at her, “I am. It’s very nice to meet you Mrs Weasley.”

She bats her hand at you, “Please, call me Molly. You must be who Dumbledore told us about, not that he tells us very much, mind.”

You nod, at both of her statements.

She sighs, “No point delaying the inevitable. Come on then, we’re all in the kitchen. Would you like anything to eat? To drink?”

“A cup of tea would be marvellous, if it’s not too much trouble.” You say, as you follow her to the kitchen.

“It’s no trouble at all.” She says, already heading towards the kettle.

You stand in the doorway to the kitchen, unsure of whether you should sit down or ask someone for help. Your eyes rake over the set up in the kitchen; a large dining table taking up most of the space where it is clear where this meeting would happen. Many men and women are already here, talking quietly amongst themselves and you can’t help but feel as if you’ve intruded on something you shouldn’t have.

That is, until you recognise a face.

“Remus?” You ask.

He looks up at the sound of his name, towards where you’re stood in the doorway. A smile breaks out across his face once he recognises you, “(Y/N)?”

You nod, a smile making its way across your face, “How are you?”

He ducks his head, “I’m good. How are you? What are you doing here?”

Molly answers before you can, pressing a hot mug of tea into your hands, “(Y/N), here, is our latest recruit from Dumbledore.”

The man stood next to Remus looks at you as if you have two heads and snakes for hair, “Why?”

You frown at him, “What do you mean ‘why’?”

“Why are you our latest recruit from Dumbledore? Did he even explain what this is?” He asks, gesturing the room, to the people sat around the large dining table.

“Sirius.” Remus chides.

Your eyes widen as you finally recognise the man stood in front of you, questioning your very motivations for being here. Sirius Black. He looked healthier than the last time you saw him – emaciated from malnutrition.

Sirius frowns as he realises you’ve recognised him. “Why are you here?”

You take a seat at the dining table, “I approached Dumbledore, and he gave me this address. I have no clue as to what this is. Would you care to explain to me?”

Remus sighs as he sits down across from you, “This is the Order of the Phoenix.”

“The Order of the what?”

“The Order of the Phoenix,” Sirius snaps, “Founded by Dumbledore to fight the Dark Lord when he first rose to power. Now we’re here to fight him and any remaining Death Eaters.”

You lean back in your chair; this is news. When you approached Dumbledore in his office, you didn’t think he would ask you to join a secret organisation to fight against the Dark Lord. You thought Dumbledore would set up counselling sessions for students struggling with issues surrounding the Dark Lord’s revival.

“I didn’t expect this, if I’m honest.”

“Why are you here then?” Sirius asks, anger slowly rising.

You meet his eyes, saying with conviction, “I am a Professor at Hogwarts and I am terrified for my students. For a lot of those students, they see me more than they see their own parents. They need help because they’re absolutely terrified of what could happen to them or to their families, and I refuse to sit idly by. I didn’t think I would be asked to join this though.”

Remus looks at you, tears shining in his eyes. He understood exactly what you meant; for that year he taught at Hogwarts, he felt fiercely protective of the students. They were innocent in all of this; no harm should come to them for the simple fact of being children.

Sirius watches you with a wary gaze. It’s a combination of the paranoia from the last wizarding war against the Dark Lord then twelve years in Azkaban as well as growing resentment for the current Headmaster of the school for witchcraft and wizardry for trapping him in this hellhole of a house. For Dumbledore to bring in a new member practically announced to Sirius that he wouldn’t be leaving Grimmauld Place any time soon.

Remus coughs, bringing Sirius’ attention back to the room just as Remus asks you “Are you happy to join the Order of the Phoenix?”

You nod, “Yes. Anything to protect my students.”

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It takes a while for the routine to settle with you; teaching all week before flooing to Grimmauld Place on Friday evening to discuss missions and manoeuvres. However, you settle quickly within the Order – reigniting your friendship with Remus with his introduction to Nymphadora Tonks who looked at Remus as if he had all the answers in the world. You and Molly had also grown close through your time in the Order; helping her cook meals whenever you could.

Sirius remained indifferent and cold towards you, however. On countless occasions, you had attempted conversation with him, trying to get to know him better. He either ignored you or walked off. It had gotten to the point where you stopped trying with him. Remus squeezed your shoulder after each attempt, and repeatedly told you that it would take a while for him to warm up to you, but he would eventually.

You scoff at the thought.

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The Order start you out with simple missions; track and report. That’s all you had to do.

As you lean against the railing of the front-door steps, you feel foolish for your task had been simple and you had managed to get injured. The pain increases with every step to the front door; you place your hand across your abdomen and start to cry when it comes away stained with blood.

The door opens silently and for that, you are grateful. You can hear talking in the kitchen, knowing Sirius’s voice anywhere.

It would have to be him; the others were either asleep or away on missions. Gritting your teeth, you head to the kitchen.

“Sirius?” You whisper.

His head whips towards you; his eyes widening at your state, at the blood on your hands that was slowly staining your shirt. All you could do was pray he wouldn’t walk away from you in this moment.

He doesn’t. Instead, he instructs Harry to go to the bathroom and grab the first aid kit there. Sirius tells Harry to take Hermione and Ron with him; they don’t need to see their professor in this state.

You silently agree with him as Sirius guides you to the table in the centre of the room.

“This is going to hurt, but I need you to sit and lie back on the table so I can get a better look at you.”

You grit your teeth at the pain, but you manage to get on the table. Harry comes back with the first aid kit then, casting a worried look at you. You try to smile at him, knowing that it looks more like a grimace.

“I didn’t know you were in the Order, Professor.” Harry states, an attempt to distract you from the pain as Sirius lays out what he needs from the first aid kit.

You nod, but Sirius answers for you, “She’s been a member since the school year started and saw how hisreturn was affecting the students at Hogwarts. She’s doing brilliantly if I say so myself.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, surprised to hear praise coming from him. He catches your eye with a smirk before he turns to Harry asking him to leave as you would need to remove your shirt for the next bit.

Harry stutters as he leaves, blush staining his cheeks. Class would definitely be awkward if he stayed for that.

The minute the kitchen door swings shut, you start to unbutton your shirt, but struggle with the pain, your vision slowly becoming blotchy.

“Sirius,” You murmur, “Will you help me with my shirt?”

“Of course.”

With his help, your shirt came off faster where it became clear of the damage done. It was a nasty wound, but not fatal.

“I’m going to need you to lay back now so I can clean the wound and fix it up. It’s going to sting though. Are you okay?”

You nod, “I’m good.”

You grit your teeth as Sirius cleans the wound and your stomach. His touch is gentle which surprises you. Sirius gave the impression that he was constantly burning with emotion that needed to be released through whatever medium was available to him. It was a nice surprise to find that he could be gentle when he needed to be.

“Time for the dittany.”

You nod as you stare at the ceiling; the feeling of foolishness creeping back over you as Sirius finishes applying the dittany. Your wound is healed within moments but the wooziness from the blood loss would remain for the next day or so.

Sirius helps you sit up. When he asks you what’s wrong, that’s when you realise that you’re silently crying.

You wipe at your eyes, “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Thank you, Sirius. Truly.”

“You’re very welcome, (Y/N).”

You hop down from the table, using a nearby chair to stabilise yourself from the dizzy spell that falls over you.

Sirius wraps an arm around your waist, “It’s okay. Dizziness is expected after the amount of blood you lost.”

The dizziness fades just as fast as it came and you’re soon stepping away from Sirius. “I better get back.”

His eyes widen, “You aren’t flooing back to Hogwarts in this state are you?”

You furrow your eyebrows, “Yes? I live there?”

“(Y/N), you’ve just lost a lot of blood, you can’t floo back in this state. And you don’t have a shirt, yours is covered in blood. You can’t show up to school like that.”

“Where am I going to stay?”

Now it was Sirius’s turn to furrow his eyebrows, “Here? There’s plenty of room, I’m sure Harry, Ron and Hermione won’t mind setting up a room for you. Wait here.”

He leaves the room, leaving you alone in the kitchen. Goosebumps breaking their way across your torso the longer you go without a shirt.

Sirius returns with an old t-shirt that you swiftly pull over your head. You glance down at the shirt; a hair metal band from the 80s covers the front, and you’re sure there’s tour dates on the back.

“Harry, Ron and Hermione are setting a room up for you. Stay here for the weekend, recover from the blood loss. You’re welcome to stay here any time.”

You rub a hand over your face, “Thank you, Sirius.”

Walking past him, you squeeze his shoulder before heading to your now ready room. You smile your thanks to Harry, Ron and Hermione as they wish you a goodnight.

As you fall asleep, you sniff the too-large shirt now covering your torso. Cloves, cinnamon and sweet orange surround you; you smile at the scent that distinctly defines Sirius. You frown then, chalking your smile and smell to the blood loss from the events of tonight.

You knew deep down though, that something was blooming inside you.

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From that moment, something changed in the relationship between you and Sirius. It wasn’t hard to notice – he would now take time for you, sit next you in meetings placing an arm around your shoulder or your waist, telling you to be careful before any mission.

Each time he caught you both, a shit-eating grin would break out across Remus’ face as if he knew what was happening between the two of you. However, a swift elbow to his ribs from Tonks had the smile slipping from Remus’ face fast.

Even you had to admit that you liked the change in your relationship with Sirius. What you didn’t expect was the feelings that had quickly bloomed for him. However, once you had accepted your feelings for him, they felt completely natural as if every choice you had made in your life had led straight to him.

You spent your week teaching at Hogwarts, and your weekends at Grimmauld Place even if you didn’t need to be there. You wanted to be near Sirius; to talk to him, to see his face light up when you walk into the house he once called home.

Your evenings were spent talking quietly to Sirius as he nursed a whisky and you a mug of tea or hot chocolate. These evenings swiftly became your favourite part of the week – other than teaching your classes. On these evenings, Sirius let his guard down with you more and would talk about anything. You knew deep within you that these evenings were doing more harm than good for your feelings for the man now sat across from you, staring into the fire as he reminisces of friends he would never see again save for Remus but you couldn’t bring yourself to care – you were happy enough to spend time with the man you had fallen in love with.

“You wouldn’t remember me from Hogwarts. I started in your fourth year and I wasn’t in Gryffindor. I did know you, however. I knew of all the Marauders; the boys in my year idolised you all.” You say, in an attempt to bring him out of his reverie.

His chest puffs out at that and he chuckles, “I don’t blame them. We were worth idolising.”

You laugh quietly. There wasn’t anyone at Hogwarts who didn’t know about the Marauders and what they were capable of. The group was made up of the smartest wizards to grace Hogwarts in a long time – if they managed to become animagi by their fifth year, then they were capable of absolutely anything.

“I miss them.” He whispers.

You grab his hand in yours where he swiftly twines your fingers together. “I know you do.”

Your conversations often centred around Lily, James and what happened to them.

Sirius pulls your hand to his lips where he presses a light kiss to the back of it. “Thank you for being here.”

“I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be.” You admit, always honest with him.

His hand tightens on yours. His eyes never leave yours as he murmurs, “I need to apologise for my behaviour when you first arrived.”

“You already have, Sirius.” And he had, multiple times. And you had forgiven him, multiple times.

“I am sorry though. I placed no trust in you and I should have. I knew you were more than able from the very moment you stood up for reasons for joining. And I’ve seen how capable you are, and just how fiercely you’ll protect your students.”

You know he’s referring to the battle in the Department of Mysteries where he nearly lost his life; his thoughts through those moments revolved around getting Harry to safety and getting to you to make sure you weren’t harmed. He had never seen someone so determined to protect children as you were that night when you realised Harry and his friends had gone to get the prophecy. Upon returning to Grimmauld Place that night, Sirius had promptly taken you into his arms and you had sobbed into his chest. Sobbed for your students but sobbed for the fact that you almost lost him, and he would never know. He would never know how you felt. You sat that little bit closer to him the morning after, and he had let you.

Sirius’ thumb rubbing across your hand brings your attention back to the room. He’s looking at you with a strange expression on his face; as if he wants to confess something but doesn’t know how to phrase it.

You smile at him, “Sirius, you don’t need to apologise. I’ve forgiven you, and I’d say what we have is pretty great now.”

He hums, “I need to tell you something though.”

“What is it?”

“I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”

The breath is knocked out of you, “You are?”

He nods, “I love you.”

You smile widely at him, “I love you too.”

“You do?” He asks, his eyes wide as if he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.

“I do. I love you, Sirius Black.”

He places his hands on either side of your face before leaning in to kiss you. He pauses just before his lips touch yours, silently asking permission. You answer by turning your face up, so your lips finally meet. The tension leaves your body and your arms wrap themselves around his neck, keeping him pressed close to you, relishing in the feeling of his body pressed against yours, of his lips on yours.

Through this war, you have fought religiously for your students. But as Sirius pulls away from you just enough to ask if you wanted to go to bed with him, you found another reason to keep fighting.

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elsanna-shenanigans · 3 years

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February Contest Submission #4: Off-Duty

words: ca. 1800 setting: Star Trek AU (TNG era) lemon: No cw: brief mention of nudity

“Computer, being program Elsa Epsilon Sigma Two Seven”

“Program initiated, enter when ready.”

The large doors of the holodeck opened and Elsa stepped out of the corridor and into a world of her own, a beautiful landscape on a far off alien world. As Elsa closed her eyes, she felt the warmth of a simulated sun bathe her quite pale complexion.

She opened her eyes and took in once more the wonders of her favourite holoprogram. It was a recreation of an alien city she’d studied often. She was currently standing on a hill overlooking said city, a large settlement on the coast of some vast continent.

Elsa saw ships sailing in and out of the city’s vast harbour, the ships floating above the ocean with their sails being powered by sunlight, gliding across the surface of the water. Behind the city, Elsa gazed up at the tall dormant volcano, ominously looking down upon the city like a vengeful god.

As Elsa walked towards a nearby cobbled road, she thought about if she should visit the city this time. She’d been there a few times, but today, she mostly felt like taking in the scenery. Ship duties had taken a lot out of her and as such, she very much preferred to relax.

But before she had a chance to do so, she saw a cart being driven down the road next to her, a wooden cart being pulled by a six-legged reptilian creature covered in bony armour, its driver being a humanoid woman with green bony crests protruding from her forehead.

“Need a lift, stranger?” she asked Elsa, in an accent that Elsa’s translator interpreted as similar to Human Irish.

“Oh uh no thanks,” Elsa replied.

“You sure?” the woman asked. “You look a little tired.”

“I’ve had a long day,” Elsa told her. She felt a bit embarrassed that a hologram of all things was commenting on her rather weary looks. Fortunately, her Vulcan side was being more than enough in preventing Elsa from becoming too irritable.

“Ah fair enough,” the woman accepted. “Well, be seeing you.”

As the woman rode off with her cart, Elsa walked over to a nearby rock and sat upon it, gazing at the city. The azure sky and the rolling waves below her certainly helped ease her tension. The past week had certainly been rough for the Part-Vulcan Starfleet captain.

A large survey of an uncharted star system, a rather unsavoury encounter with a group of Ferengi traders plus the pressures of command had been more than enough to take their toll on her. She knew Kristoff, her first officer, could handle things, but Elsa was the sort of woman who preferred to meticulously co-ordinate and plan everything personally.

However, despite her stress, she knew she could always come here to this program, to step into a piece of ancient history from another world. She could lose herself here, to shed off all her responsibilities and be herself, even if she was going to be going back on duty in another four hours.

Archaeology had always been a great love of hers. The study of cultures long gone, pondering the wonders of the races that came long before humans, Klingons and even Vulcans. With the vast number of ancient civilisations out there, Elsa had quite a number to find herself lost in. It was a helpful distraction for her, not to mention her other hobbies.

But there was one person on the entire ship who Elsa knew helped her more than any hologram ever could.

“I thought I’d find you here,” a voice spoke to her.

Elsa looked over her shoulder, seeing the holodeck door appear again as a certain strawberry blonde Betazoid in a blue uniform walked towards her. At that moment, Elsa forgot about the simulated sun that hung in the sky above her, as her girlfriend was the one whose light and warmth were filling her world.

Anna was the ship’s counsellor aboard the Ahtohallan, a wonderful charming bubbly young officer who’d managed to sweep Elsa off her feet from the moment she first came aboard. She often remembered the rather humourous incident where they first met, here on that very holodeck no less, not long after Elsa took command.

Since this was her first deep-space assignment, Anna had been feeling rather homesick for Betazed and as such had started a program of a festival from her homeworld, one of the many occasions where her people celebrated in the nude. It wasn’t exactly the first choice for Elsa to meet the love of her life, but the memory did remind her that life aboard a starship wasn’t always serious and did have it’s lighter moments.

The freckled redhead partly undid her hair out of its bun and let it flow, sighing in content. Those ginger locks of hers flowed freely in the breeze as if her whole form was being carried on a gust of ethereal wind. Elsa melted at the sight of her girlfriend’s beauty.

“This program is beautiful,” Anna admitted.

“Have I never told you about it before?” Elsa wondered.

“No, I don’t think so,” Anna replied. “You’re always so private about your personal life.”

Chuckling, Elsa smirked at her lover. “Nothing is stopping you from looking anyway.”

“Hey, that’d be a very rude and improper use of my telepathy,” Anna stated, playfully nudging the captain’s shoulder.

Sitting beside Elsa on the rock, Anna sighed as she laid her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder. Elsa felt a sensation of warmth flow through her, perhaps Anna telepathically sharing her sensation of content with her. Whatever it was, it was definitely helping her stress fade away considerably.

“So… what brings you here then?” Elsa wondered.

“Do I need an excuse to spend time with my girlfriend?” Anna remarked. She chuckled. “I just got off duty and figured you could use some company. I don’t need to use my abilities to know how stressed you’ve been this week. Plus, Kristoff was worried about you.”

Rubbing her temples, Elsa groaned wearily in response, a clear sign of her stress. “Yes… this is the first free moment I’ve had in days.”

Anna leaned closer and kissed Elsa on the cheek, making the blonde blush. “Well… you know that I’m here for you, always. As both counsellor… and your girlfriend.”

It still felt a little odd to Elsa. There wasn’t exactly any rules against ship’s captains dating their officers. Hell, she knew an old academy friend who was actually married to her first officer. But to Elsa, it still felt a little strange unusual. Perhaps it was because she and Anna hadn’t been a couple for very long.

Looking out at the ocean again, Elsa sighed calmly, taking in the quiet moment she and Anna were now sharing. She hadn’t asked for Anna’s presence, but she was all the same very glad that she was here. It was as though Anna was the one element the program had been lacking and now that she was here, it was finally complete.

“So… where exactly is this place?” Anna wondered. “Why do you always find yourself running this program?”

Elsa smiled. “It’s the city of Vetalis on Ezlor V. Approximately 2000 years ago.”

“Vetalis… hmmm, doesn’t ring a bell,” Anna admitted.

Standing up, Elsa gestured to the city. She loved to go on about various historical facts to Anna, having a voice that made the tales of the past come alive. “It’s not exactly well known, but it is a fascinating story. I actually visited the ruins of it when I was younger, though the planet doesn’t exactly look as beautiful as this.”

“Oh?”

Elsa nodded. “Around 1200 years ago, the planet suffered a severe climate shift and this city was destroyed by not only a massive tsunami and earthquake, but it was subsequently buried in volcanic ash and lava when that volcano over there erupted.”

“Hardcore!”

The captain gave her girlfriend a look of confusion.

“Uh, sorry.”

“It’s uhh… alright,” Elsa responded, with a giggle. She walked closer to the side of the hill overlooking the ocean. “It’s truly a miracle that any remnants of this city survived at all. For centuries, Vetalis was actually considered a myth until an Andorian science team found it about forty years ago.”

“So… why do you find yourself coming here?” Anna asked. “You didn’t exactly wander that part of my question.”

Stroking her chin, Elsa pondered the answer. If she was honest, she hadn’t really thought of it. Yes, coming here relaxed her, but in all these years she had never considered why. Self-reflection wasn’t one of her strong points. It was Anna who was the therapist, not herself.

“I guess… I guess it’s because this place has always served as an inspiration for me, ” Elsa theorised. “That no matter what I’m going through in my life, I’ll make it through it and survive.”

“That’s a good outlook on things,” Anna stated. “But I find it odd that you feel that way about a city that got destroyed.”

Elsa laughed. “It is a bit weird I admit… and please, I’d rather this stay just between us.”

“Oh don’t worry,” Anna assured her. “You can always trust me.”

At that moment, Elsa got a delightful idea. Perhaps today… she’d got into the city after all. Especially since Anna was here. Showing her the wonders of ancient Vetalis had been something she had been considering for a while now. She looked over at Anna and grinned.

“Hey, why don’t I show you around the city?” Elsa offered. “I mean, if you’re not too busy.”

Anna chuckled. “Why, I’d love to, Elsa.” She held her hand. “Lead the way.”

Elsa shook her head. “Nuh-uh. We’re going there in style.” She cleared her throat. “Computer, create for us one Zyuranour, docile.”

Next to them on the path, one of the large six-legged creatures that Elsa had seen pulling the cart appeared before them. The beast groaned and Elsa walked over to the animal, stroking it softly. The beast growled back in response, nuzzling her hand.

Her Betazoid lover gulped, looking at the creature’s large bony spikes and clubbed tail. “Uhh… you sure that thing’s friendly?”

“She’s a herbivore don’t worry, ” Elsa assured Anna, “Although I wouldn’t annoy her if I were you. Supposedly, they also had a bad temper.” She climbed onto the creature’s back, holding her hand out to Anna, like some fairytale prince from an old story.

Anna smiled, taking Elsa’s hand and getting onto the creature’s back. She wrapped her arms around Elsa’s waist, the blonde blushing a little as she felt Anna hold her tightly. She had quite a grip, but Elsa loved that feeling, especially when Anna spooned her at night.

“Comfortable?” Elsa asked.

“Very,” Anna said, kissing her girlfriend on the cheek.

Nodding, Elsa petted the creature as it trotted down the path towards the city. Now that she had shown the ancient city to Anna, she wanted nothing more than to share all of its wonders with her.

#elsanna #submission #february 2021 contest #prompt: ancient worlds

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cosmiciaria · 4 years

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Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order review! (Spoiler free)

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order (SWJFO) appeared out of fricking nowhere and to everyone's surprise, it was a striking success? How? But… EA was so bad at making SW games!! I don't see micro transactions and… is this… actual… plot… with actual… good characters?? I'm shooketh.

So, yes, SWJFO is a good game! It's not perfect, it has its flaws, yes, but considering where we come from… Battlefront II I'm looking at you.

The game takes place between Episode III and Episode IV. I won't say it's a "bridge" between those two Episodes because it isn't, and some may argue that talking about Jedi in the middle of those two pieces of media doesn't take you anywhere, since we all know what happens next, but let me explain to you: the story fits so well. So well.

We follow Cal Kestis, your average ginger Good Boi, who's a padawan in disguise. It's been five years since Order 66 and he's been hiding all this time in Bracca, a junkyard, where he works mostly enslaved by the Empire. His good pal Prauf tells him he should go outside and explore the galaxy, since he's young and cute probably, but Cal is so scared of being found and he's suffering such a huge survivor's guilt that he doesn't take any action to leave that planet.

It all seemed to be like another ordinary day of work, dismembering old ships and searching for useful parts, when the wing that Cal and Prauf were working on suddenly falls from the body of the ship, and Cal, who hasn't been using his Force since the execution of the Jedi, is forced (pun intended) to save his friend from falling to his death. Prauf understands the stakes, and swears to keep the secret.

However, destiny seems to hate him, because the Inquisitors (the Second and Ninth Sisters to be more precise), an order of Jedi-turned-to-dark-side that serves the Empire, arrive at Bracca, looking for a remaining Force-wielder who hides among the workers. Prauf steps up for his comrade, only to be impaled quite literally in front of Cal. Cal loses his composure and snaps at the Second Sister, revealing his nature as Jedi, and so the hunt begins.

Cal faces the Second Sister, who menacingly swings her lightsaber with red emitters, but he's too weak to defeat her. Just when we thought that everything is lost, a new spaceship arrives: the Mantis, and a woman reaches out from the main gate, asking us to jump. Cal doesn't think twice, bids farewell to a very angry Second Sister and jumps into safety.

Inside the Mantis, Cal meets his saviors: Cere, a former jedi who purposely cut her link with the Force, and Greez, a lateros who is the owner and driver of the ship. Cere goes straight to the point: she's been looking for Cal (or any other Force-sensitive to be honest) for years now, because she has a clear plan: to rebuild the Jedi Order.

From here onward, the game opens up. You'll be visiting Bogano first, which is the sanctuary more or less of Cordova, a dead character that will have a great impact on the whole story. Cordova was Cere's master, and he's worked and compiled information about the Zeffo sages and other interesting mythos from around the galaxy. Cordova swears that in the ancestral chamber in Bogano, sealed by ancient technology created by the Zeffo, lies the Holocron: a cubic thingy only readable for Jedi, that holds key information about the names of the kids who are Force-sensitives. With this list of names, Cere plans to bring back the Jedi and strike back at the Empire.

So the main objective is to get this Holocron, but to get there, you'll have to go to many planets and explore many nooks and crannies. I won't spoil it for you, because I try to never spoil in my reviews, and like I said before, it may sound like this goal doesn't make any sense since we know they don't succeed in rebuilding the Order (hell, not even with Rey and it's been a whole generation since then), but hear me out: the story still fits so well! PLEASE TRUST ME IN THIS ONE

So instead of talking about the plot, let's talk about the characters!

Cal will be your main character. I read that some people think he's boring, ok, I can take that. The reality is that there's so much more to him than just his dashing appearance (alright, maybe I am biased, since I love red hairs) and his kindness and good-boy-ness. Cal is deeply regretful by his actions during Order 66 and he can't forget nor forgive what happened to his master. He feels remorseful and blames himself for the outcome of the purge. He has a scar on his face that constantly reminds him of it. He's a clear case of survivor's guilt syndrome, and it doesn't take one much to see it. I won't say when or the context, but there's a moment in which he has to ride a escape pod, and he looks around, nervously, as if he's going to suffocate, because it reminds him of the purge – man, there's a lot not said that really touches you. I don't need a character to tell me that he's sad. He can show it to me and that's exemplarily well done with him.

Another example of a sad character, more in-your-face this time, is Cere. A former master, now devoid of the Force, Cere wanders the galaxy with a clear goal in mind. But in her past, she hides torture and some too-close-for-comfort connection with the dark side. She wants to redeem herself and she trusts that this sacred mission will, not wipe out, but compensate for her mistakes. Cere is a great north in this game and she always supports Cal in everything. Her unconditional trust may seem overwhelming at first, but she's careful and she knows with what they're all dealing with. Besides she's badass af.

Greez is a less warrior character but much funnier than the rest of the cast. As the owner of the Mantis, he takes care of this ship as if it were his daughter. He has a knack for cooking and even though he tries to hide it, he does have a soft spot for Cal. Maybe his past of gambler and addiction makes him come across as the one who doesn't give a damn of what's going on, but if that were truly the case, he wouldn't be here, trying to rebuild the Order as well. He has by far the best lines in the script, and he's so unintentionally funny. There was this scene, out of context, where Cere and Cal were having an argument while eating, and he was sitting in between, in the background, adding peppermint or whatever spice to his dish, but the thing is, he never stopped throwing peppermint to his dish because he was watching them argue. Damn. I love him.

Merrin is introduced later in the game, but she does play a large role in the story. Born and raised in Dathomir, Merrin is a Nightsister, an order of 'witches' let's call them that have twisted the Force and use it in a different way than the Jedi. After General Grievous (as much as we assume, because he's mentioned as "armored man wielding lightsabers") wiped out all the life in Dathomir, Merrin remained as the sole survivor of her planet, roaming around the corpses of her sisters with no goal whatsoever. She resents the Jedi and has sworn to fight them even if it cost her life. This led her to get in with a bad crowd… but she'll find a better purpose after she meets Cal (And if you ask me, this SHIP HAS SAAAAAIIILLLLEEED).

And last but not least, the Second Sister, who, as I said before, was a former Jedi who was forced into the dark side, now hunts the remaining Force-sensitive that have escaped from the purge. She seems your ordinary villain at the start of the story, but slowly the plot will be unfolding a lot of details about her past and how she became an Inquisitor, making her as much, if not more than, important like the rest of the cast.

If there's thread connecting all these characters, is their broken pasts. These are all broken characters who now must face the consequences of their decisions, however much they don't want to look that way. They have to reconcile with their pasts and overcome their fears. They have all suffered, but in this suffering they found strength. And each other.

And I cannot not mention BD-1, your companion droid. He has personality, you can't deny it. Every time Cal went like "How is it going, BD-1?" and the droid threw his "Boops-beeps", please, they're having a profound conversation DON'T INTERRUPT THEM.

As far as gameplay goes, this game borrows from other great creations of the PS4 era: Uncharted (you'll be climbing and doing parkour a lot), Tomb Raider (sliding down and tomb raiding, yes), Dark Souls (meditation/save points where you can level up your skills and also whenever you die you lose your exp gained, but not the ability points. You can recover that exp though), and Sekiro (parry. Parry a lot). This may seem to all of you like the game lacks originality, and while it's debatable, I still think that it has a lot new and original gameplay to offer, specially when it comes to Force wielding and lightsabers. Oh, yes, you're a Jedi (padawan, actually), you'll be using the Force! The game tries really hard to integrate the Force not only in combat, but also while you explore and while you solve puzzles. The more you level up, the more powerful your abilities become, and it comes a point when you feel unstoppable. The Stormtroopers might sound cocky at first, but when you start pushing and pulling, oh, yes, fear the Jedi! So yes, the game may look like a copycat of previous works in the gaming industry, but it does make a good use of all those mechanics, while still throwing something new elements into the mix.

The level design is ASTOUNDING, sometimes I turned around one corner and appeared somewhere I thought it was like miles away from my place, and I was marveled at how well everything interconnects with everything. The level of detail also is so meticulous and well crafted, like there are so many little things that if you stop to stare and pay attention you'll be so mesmerized by them. Some of the places are so eye candy, even Dathomir with their "I AM DEATH" vibes has such a beautiful color palette, that I couldn't help but take a thousand screenshots. This game looks gorgeous, and it shows. You know, when a game has a photo mode, you know the devs are convinced of its beauty.

But, like I said earlier, the game isn't without flaws. While I praised the intricate level design, there's also one thing I hate a lot: backtracking. Yes, in these huge maps, there are no fast travels. You can create shortcuts and such, but, if you want to get to that 2% that was left unexplored in that particular area, you must return to it by foot. This is a huge let down for me. I did the game with a guide, so I grabbed most of the collectibles during my first time in each planet, but still there were some things that I missed, and I had to go all the way there to revisit places with the only purpose of grabbing that stupid chest or filling that small percentage of the map, while trying to survive against the enemies, since everything in this game, everything, wants to actively kill you. Damn, Cal was wanted.

Another huge drawback for me that it normally doesn't bother me much were the low framerates. I played it on normal PS4, not the Pro, and the rendition of the game wasn't good. I wasn't even fighting or doing a lot of stuff on screen, I was just climbing and chilling, and still the framerates would fall like under 20. When there a lot of things going on screen, the game suffers from it and it makes you know that the play station is giving its all to make it function. I believe this isn't a problem for those who have a nice computer and play it with the highest specs, but as I know that there are people out there who really care about the performance, I had to at least mention this.

Also, do not come here thinking that this is an open world game. Yes, granted, you can travel from planet to planet with no real rush and take things with time, but the maps are mostly linear (except for the interconnections between each area), and once you explored or got all chests, that's all there's to it. Now that I have completed the game and platinumed it, the planets feel barren, empty, like there's no real life breathing through the leaves or the rooms. And I think I know what this game could've benefited a lot from: sidequests. There are no NPC's here, except for some Wookies at that moment in the story or your crew members, so there's no one to give you a sidequest. But even without NPC's, they could've thrown sidequests from the different collectibles that you come across in your path, or maybe when on arriving at a certain place. There's like one thing that gets close to a sidequest and it's exploring a crashed Venator in the planet Zeffo, but that's all there's to it: more of the same killing, climbing and cutting ropes. If you're a rookie collector, then yes, this game got you covered, for there are over 200 collectibles (I think over 300 actually, considering echoes and chests and scans), but it's not like there's anything in between these, except for enemies. No banter with your crew members while you walk around, some occasional beep boops from BD-1 only.

I think those are my main complaints, but all in all I believe that the good compensates the bad. The last "mission" is reaaaaally good, and they did something I really like, which I won't spoil. I'm just going to say that I'm so glad with the decisions they took. The relationships between the characters grow vividly before our eyes, and we see Cal develop from a frightened fugitive into a fighter. There are moments in the story and in the gameplay where the game made me go like "whoa", I was truly amazed by what was going on. The acting is flawless, the music gets under your skin and the vistas are just dreamy. There so many easter eggs to appease even the most hardcore SW fan! They could polish all the things I said, but if there's another SW game developed by Respawn and with that writing team, I'll be there to buy it.

It's not perfect, but it's good. Give Cal a chance!

#cal kestis #star wars #star wars jedi fallen order #sw jfo #videogame review #review #ea games #respawn entertainment #merrin #cal x merrin #cere junda #greez dritus #bd-1

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helbramstrauma-main · 4 years

Text

Gum

Masterlist

Albert DaSilva x Reader

Modern Era

This is completely based off of that one Extra gum commercial with my own creative twist.

Just another day in English class, another day I wish I took AP. I have been an honors kid since I can remember but I just wanted to take a small break senior year. However, the material covered in this class was already covered last year which leaves me with a lot of time to doze off. This time is often filled with me just thinking about adopting an animal.

My inner debate on if I can handle a cat is suddenly interrupted by a tapping on my shoulder. I blink a few times before shifting my focus back into the real world, where I am now face-to-face with Albert DaSilva. Although we have known each other since junior high, we rarely talk. Simply because we run in different social circles. In traditional high school cliches, he would be considered a jock, having been to states in baseball and a strong member of the swim and dive team. I, however, would classify myself as a nerd through and through. I even got to go to DC for mathletes last year, and that is the last sport I have done since tennis freshman year. The fact that he is talking to me is astounding, I cannot think of a good reason for him to bother me during my intense debate on my responsibility.

"I ran out of gum, do you have any?" The ginger asks me. It isn't like I could lie to him either, at the beginning of class I started chewing gum, it helps with my ADHD. He knows I have gum and if I lie to him, I look like an asshole. Do I care though? Yes. I care a way to much about what other people think of me.

My arm stretches out towards my bag as I say, "of course! Just let me check if I have any". I know for a fact that I have some, but I just added the element of mystery for unneeded and minimal suspense. I shuffle through my bag even though it isn't that full, and reach for a small packet of gum in a side zipper compartment. "Here you go," I say handing him a piece of my not doctor recommended ADHD cure.

Albert hand quickly takes the piece of gum, and I notice a few loose freckles cascading down his bicep to his hand. He speaks again but with this time he seems more into starting a conversation, "thank you. I'll pay you back tomorrow" he promises.

Now I don't want him to pay me back for a piece of gum, however, my other option is me telling him that I don't need him to pay me back. Which ultimately I will end up losing anyway, and I would have to talk to Albert more. Weighing out my options I decided that wasting my energy over a piece of gum is ridiculous and I forget about the entire interaction.

Until the next day, when I walk into class Albert is already standing at my empty desk. Yesterday's interaction had already fled my mind and I don't have the energy to recall events at 7:15 in the mourning. I make my way over to my desk, briefly hitting my thigh off another desk that is out of line. If hurts for a second, until I realize that I am hurting so much on the inside that kind of hurting my thigh doesn't seem so bad anymore. Never the less I still make it to my destination, and Albert has not seemed to of left yet. He does know that he sits behind me, he could have just waited for me there. As I take my seat, hoping he would get the hint to leave. Albert instead moves completely in front of me and the board, obstructing my view even further. He leans forward putting on arm down on my desk to steady himself. With his other hand, he reaches into his hoodie pocket and fiddles around for a little bit. Just as I was about to say something about him stabbing me, so it would ruin the element of surprise, in case his true intent was to stab me, he takes out a piece of gum.

As he holds the piece of gum out, I begin to gain some recollection of yesterday's mourning. The freckles cascading down his arm grabbing the piece of gum I handed out to him, is the same arm he is extending to me.

I take the piece of gum wrapped in silver paper. I thank him before unwrapping the gum to reveal the piece of mint gum. I am more of a tutti-fruity person, but I am too lazy to grab my gum, I just settle for the mint. Besides, it is extremely sweet of him to pay me back for something as simple as a piece of gum. Especially because I go through packs of gum quickly due to my inconvenient addiction, and coping mechanism. I'll return the favor tomorrow! Before the teacher begins their lecture, I put a reminder on my phone knowing I would forget if I didn't.

The next day I got to class early because I decided to be responsible and drive to school. To be honest I only drove so I could get coffee because my grinder broke. Albert was the only person in the classroom when I arrived. Who gets to class that early? Nerd. Says the person who went to nationals for mathletes. My phone vibrates prompting me to check it, a reminder pops up on my screen. Give Albert gum. Guess I should give him some gum. The reminder serves its purpose and giving me the ability to thank Albert for his actions.

I reach my hand into my bag and instinctively grab two pieces of gum, one for me and one for him. Putting the tutti fruity gum on his desk I say, "thank you for yesterday" and I turn back around.

A month or two has passed of us constantly giving each other gum on alternating days. It has become our little tradition, of course, we don't talk to each other outside of gum matters, but it is still our thing. I have even started to like mint more because of its constant position on my pallet. However, I am still a tutti-fruity ride or die. When I walk into class I see Albert standing by my desk, and I eagerly walk over awaiting my gum. After our routine interaction I notice something a little different, the gum is tutti-fruity! My heart melts at the idea of him noticing my preference and him going out of his way to buy a package just for me. Although Albert and I only talk briefly every day, it is easy to tell how sweet he is. Wanting to return the favor I stop at a nearby 7eleven after school to pick up a pack of extra mint gum, his favorite. When I give him his piece of gum, I can see his eyes light up when he realizes the flavor. Small things like that make this tradition one of my favorites.

Another few weeks pass and the bitter cold of February is kicking in. It seems like the first snow is being pushed back every year, but at least it is in the middle of February still. I walk into the first period of English and I spot Albert sitting on my desk. This is extremely odd as today is my day to give him gum, and he has never said in my desk before. As I continue a more cautious walk over I notice he is picking under his fingernails. He is nervous, but why?

"Hello?" I say, not sitting down in my chair yet.

Albert looks up suddenly like I snapped him out of his imagination.

"I know we don't talk outside of our little exchange, but to be honest I started it as an excuse to talk to you. I have backed out so many times, but not today" Albert says quickly, but I was able to understand what he was saying. "Will you go on a date with me? Just to see how it goes, I think you are beautiful and I would be crazy to not try to start something. Will you be my valentine?"

I am taken aback by all of Albert's statement. Not only is he incredibly handsome, over time I realize how compassionate he is. However, like all things the realistic side of me has an opinion, we have barely talked. It would be completed foolish for me to say yes. Although we have been talking for a little over two months, I don't know him. It would be incredibly stupid for me to say yes. However sometimes I am extremely dumb, sometimes I need to let loose.

"I'm busy tonight, but how about this weekend," I say, knowing I have work.

Albert's eyes light up as he jumps off the desk and elopes me in an embrace. I quickly wrap my arms around his torso. All of this seems so rushed but I could live in this moment forever and that is what counts.

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mokkoriness · 4 years

Text

ROCK AND READ vol. 086 - Nao Interview

Their own "alicenine."

At their 15th anniversary tour final that was held at Hibiya Open Air Concert Hall on August 10, their band name changed back to the original "alicenine." from the "A9" that we have gotten familiar with over the last 5 years. Although we heard the reason behind this in the previous issue from the band's frontman, Show, in this issue, we ask each of the members to talk about their feelings towards "alicenine.". With what kind of feelings did they have when facing this band name and the "blend of Japanese and Western styles" concept 15 years ago? Everyone has their own image of "alicenine.", so that means we should be able to see many aspects of the band that is alicenine.

What is "ア��ス九號." to Nao? Just like Tora, Nao is not particular about names. Rather than names, he tells us that having the same members and being able to play アリス九號. songs, Alice Nine songs, and A9 songs without any discrimination is more important, and that is the true essence of it. To Nao, the biggest difference from their early days as アリス九號. might be that now, the status of "Akihabara" and "Nerd" have improved.

First of all, what kind of discussions did the members have to arrive at the conclusion of changing the band name back to "アリス九號."?

Nao: We had always talked about wanting to change the band name back, but as we were doing our activities as A9, there wasn't quite a point in time where we could change it back. We did our activities as "A9" for roughly 5 years, and the band logos of "アリス九號." and "Alice Nine" just happened to change in 5-year periods, so we thought that it would be nice if there was some kind of change at our 15th year anniversary.

What was the reason behind wanting to change it back to "アリス九號."?

Nao: Having left our management company and doing activities under the name "A9", we had done our activities wanting to change the band name back to "アリス九號.". But as we were doing so, "A9" had become dear to us, and we thought that "A9" was important in its own way. To be honest, I am not so particular about the band name. Of course, our 10-year history since アリス九號. is a big part of us and we have plenty of memories, but I think what's most important is that by playing both old songs and news songs without any changes in the members, we are able to do our activities integrating the past and the present. I think that is the true essence of it, so it might be the case that there isn't really such a special reason behind changing the name.

So when you changed from "Alice Nine" to "A9", you didn't really perceive it in a negative way.

Nao: It might be because I have a positive personality, but I think that a name has both a positive and a negative image.

Meaning?

Nao: People have always said that we were "a good looking band", and although I was glad, thinking, "Huh? Does that include me too?" (laughs), at the time, people around us would say that we didn't have the skills to match our good looks, and we ourselves thought the same. But the reality was that many people came to see our live shows at the time, so I think that there are many people whose impression of us is stuck in the "アリス九號." or "Alice Nine" days. It's not as though everyone has been watching us for the entire 10 years, so I thought that changing our public image and getting a fresh start with "A9" was not a bad thing.

This is just one of my own memories, but when I covered アリス九號. for the first time for a different magazine during your indie days, I can never forget that when talking about future dreams, you had said something like, "The band name アリス九號. might be hard to read, but one day, I want it to be a famous band to the point that when you type it into your PC or phone, it will automatically show up". This is my own assumption, but I thought that you guys must have been going through some really tough times.

Nao: I think it has to do with the timing. If we had become "A9" 5 years after that, I might have thought of it as a sad thing, but when you have been doing this for 10 years, the band does run into walls, and there are many difficult situations. As a result of being able to overcome those things, as long as the essence of the band does not change, then perhaps there is no need to be so particular about the band name.

So you didn't have that many troubles when you had changed to the English stylisation of "Alice Nine"?

Nao: If I remember correctly, at that time, there was a feeling that we should make the name that we mainly use "Alice Nine". That's why the name "アリス九號." was still cemented overseas.

Is that so? The concept of アリス九號. in the early days was a blending of Japanese and Western styles. What did you think of showing a Japanese style?

Nao: Show was the one to lead us in terms of the visual aspect, so I think that is where the "blending of Japanese and Western style" concept came from, but I might not have been so particular about the concept. The band アリス九號. itself did not originate from a concept, and it's not as though we came together because someone was really good at writing songs; All it was was that the 5 of us came together after having met many different people and hitting it off with each other, so we said "Let's do this".

You also told us passionate stories of making every effort with the thought that "this is my last band" in ROCK AND READ BAND 003.

Nao: Hahaha, that's right. I think that it will be tough if you don't do this with the feeling that you will put the next band you form in the graveyard.

Meaning that when the 5 of you came together, you thought "We are the strongest"?

Nao: I thought "These people are interesting! This is fun!". I felt that it had potential, and I was excited.

Having said that the band incorporates Japanese styles, you had the image of being refined, or rather, being stylish. Including your looks, everything was well balanced. Back then, did you ever feel that there was a gap between how others saw you and the real image of yourselves?

Nao: I don't think I really thought about it that deeply. I think at the time, we just discussed future activities with our company and were like "That's awesome!", and that was it (laughs). I get the impression that all we did was, without knowing, writing songs on our level that we thought were cool and standing on stage with the feeling like "We're cool!". But like I said earlier, there was a feeling of excitement I had never gotten before with other bands, and I think that was the driving force.

There was a lot of attention on you after joining the management company, and I'm sure that you were quite busy. Do you have any unforgettable memories from that time?

Nao: This is a personal thing, but around the time we formed the band, there was a negative image associated with having an Akiba(1) style or a nerdy style.

That's right. It wasn't mainstream, or rather, if you had said that you liked Akihabara, people would look at you coldly and be like "Are you a nerd?".

Nao: That's right. So the staff had told me to not to say those kinds of things (laughs). Now that time has passed, I am glad that being a nerd has a positive image. I don't really know the details of it, but I heard that at the time, the company had made "Akiba" a forbidden word (laughs).

Hahahaha. I get the impression that you had passionately talked about going to Akihabara on your day off. Was that during the Alice Nine era?

Nao: I think it was before that, during the アリス九號. era. When we appeared on the TV program "HEY!HEY!HEY!", I had said that I liked Akihabara, so I think that the company thought it was impossible to hide it, so the ban on the word was lifted (laughs).

They couldn't stop you any longer. How did you take the situation where the number of fans kept growing?

Nao: I think that in terms of feelings, I was filled to the brim with enthusiasm. I think that in some way or another, everyone was funny in the head.

The members?

Nao: Yeah. This is something that happened in our early days, but even though no one had a driver's license and we couldn't drive, we decided on playing a show outside of Tokyo, and we were like "So how do we get there?" (laughs). In the end, Hiroto had found a driver and we somehow made it work. Also, since we were doing a live in an outfit that blended Japanese and Western styles, I was also particular about my look, and performed wearing wooden clogs.

Playing drums wearing wooden clogs? How did you play the bass drum?

Nao: It hurt so I couldn't step on the pedal (laughs). We were crazy. Also, at the time, all other bands had a car for moving equipment, but in general, for us, we travelled by train. I didn't have any equipment that I was particular about, so I would go to the livehouse only carrying drumsticks.

So you were the type to rent out the drumset at the livehouse.

Nao: Yeah. Now, it might actually seem like a normal thing to do, but back then, I had no money to buy drumsticks, so I was like "I only have 3 sticks today" (laughs).

Hahaha. Like "These drumsticks definitely won't break during today's live show".

Nao: Also, what I remember is Hiroto's eccentric behaviour. We were all waiting for the first train of the day at a ramen place, and when it was 5 in the morning, we were like "It's about time we left", but Hiroto was like "I'm going to sleep for a bit and then go home", and slept in the ramen place by himself, even though it was closed. I thought "What's up with that?" (laughs). Even with Saga, at a beef bowl place, he didn't have enough money for seconds, so he ordered one without beef and added red ginger to it.

(laughs). Did you have this feeling that as the leader, you had to reign in these reckless members?

Nao: No, I think I was probably made the leader because the staff had talked to us and saw that I was the most normal of us. Like I was a person who understood what was being said (laughs). I remember listening to what the company staff had to say as the representative of the band.

So you kind of had a cushion-like role, where you connected the staff and the members. You might not have thought yourself that アリス九號. was a idol-like band, but what kind of band were you?

Nao: I've been saying this for a while now, but we're like a zoo (laughs).

Like this is the lion area, and that is the zebra area?

Nao: That's right (laughs). But it's not a jungle.

So wouldn't that mean you're a wild beast tamer?

Nao: The beast is Tora. Oh, I guess only in name (laughs).

By the way, at the time, were you conscious of the Asia region and overseas?

Nao: No, not at all. When we were in the company, we had received quite a lot of invitations to play overseas, but we firmly turned down the offers. There was a time when we went for a company-wide event, but I think we only went on our own during the latter half of the Alice Nine era.

Didn't many Visual Kei bands go to Asia and Europe during the Neo-Japanesque boom? Why did you turn down the offers?

Nao: There was the fact that Tora was scared of flying (laughs), but it was also like "Well, we don't want to go just because it's trendy". But we received more offers when the peak of it was over, so we were like, "Then I guess it's okay to go". I think we went overseas to play live shows in the latter half of the Alice Nine era.

Are you perhaps a band that is excessively cautious?

Nao: We were cautious~. Maybe it's because we didn't go at all, but when we were ranked in the top 3 among Japan's most popular idols that the Asia region wants to see, I was shocked, like, "No way!!".

Earlier you talked about how you remained as "アリス九號." overseas even though you had changed the band stylisation to "Alice Nine". It seems like a story about fate.

Nao: I guess it's because we rarely went overseas. We went on an Asia tour after becoming "A9", and the people waiting were really grateful to Tora. Like "Thank you for getting on the plane" (laughs).

How do you see the 5-year periods as アリス九號., Alice Nine, and A9, including changes in musical direction?

Nao: I think that in the 5 years as アリス九號., we did things excitedly and on pure energy, but since becoming Alice Nine, after coming to do our activities in the major scene, we learned of reality, or rather, it felt like we were made to realize that we were lacking in ability. When we got signed to a record label and had the opportunity to connect with other bands apart from Visual Kei, both personally and with the band, I remember feeling this sense of danger, like "Oh crap".

When was this, in terms of releases?

Nao: I suppose it was after we had released the album "VANDALIZE". Even though at best, all I could do was play the drums, I thought that I was lacking abilities there too, and came to practice a lot, thinking, "I have to work harder".

Since becoming "Alice Nine", the Western style in your music has gotten stronger, and you have songs that take a progressive rock approach, or dance rock songs like "RAINBOWS". I think that as a band, you had gotten more experimental.

Nao: Rather than being experimental, we thought that we had to positively take on challenges. I think that the company probably wanted to sell us as a bright pop band. But we were painfully aware of our lack of ability, and I think it was the Alice Nine era where we made more cool music and refined our technique. Although we might have peaked at even higher popularity if we had listened to our company, I think that we might not have been able to continue for 15 years if we did that.

Because you are not a group full of bright boys.

Nao: That's probably why while improving musically, we weren't selling well. I believe that perhaps because we did this while suffering, we were able to continue.

And in the A9 era, you had further developed your approach and the way you present things.

Nao: Personally, I was able to break through the bounds after becoming A9. Having left our company, there was nothing restricting us, and in reality, there was this period of danger where the band might not be able to continue, so we came to think that if we didn't know when it was going to end, we should at least do what we wanted to do so that we wouldn't have any regrets. So it was even.

Is that thought related to being able to come out to the front of the stage to sing or to put on a performance where you recite a script?

Nao: That also started from being able to break through the bounds, and the feeling I have when playing the drums is different from that of before. 1 year ago, I would never have thought that I would be singing, and I wouldn't be able to imagine myself as I am today. Also, I formed a unit called "THE ALTERNATIVE" with Saga, and we are doing activities, and that is also something that was derived from A9.

You play the acoustic guitar and sing too, right?

Nao: Although the focus is the drums and bass, we do play the acoustic guitar, and the concept is to see just how much the 2 of us can do. I think it's fun to broaden my expression, so lately, I've been addicted to the guitar.

You play the acoustic guitar all the time?

Nao: I do play the acoustic guitar, but I also bought an electric guitar. I own a better guitar than Hiroto does.

Seriously?

Nao: Hahaha. I went to the Fender Showroom together with Hiroto, and there was a guitar where Hiroto said "This guitar really makes some noise. It's great. I want it". So I was like "Oh really, I guess I'll buy it".

What kind of guitar is it?

Nao: It's a guitar made by the Fender Custom Shop master builder.

Whoa. Did you show it off to Hiroto?

Nao: I didn't (laughs). He was surprised, like, "You kidding me?".

You've been that captured by the charm of the guitar?

Nao: Since it's my hobby, I want a good one. It depends on the builder, but that guitar I bought was quite expensive. But I'd like to own just 1 guitar for the rest of my life. By the way, I also bought a bass.

Doesn't that mean you can be in a band by yourself?

Nao: I've come to want to come into contact with good things and enjoy living my life. Over the last few years, the words "saving money" is not something I know of.

You never used to be like this, right? If I had to say which, you were the type to save.

Nao: It's certainly true that in the past, I used to be more proper (laughs). What's interesting is that when I'm buying drum equipment, I go "But this part is kind of expensive".

Why is that?

Nao: When it comes to my hobbies, the way I spend money changes. That's why going forward, I have strong feelings of wanting to learn many things, take on challenges, and enjoy doing activities.

As a musician, it's a really good time for you.

Nao: The actually feeling that I am doing music is out of this world. Now, I'm recording the drums at my own studio. I also bought microphones.

I see. If you had your own studio, you would want to collect many guitars and bass guitars.

Nao: That's right. I also got some recording equipment and bought amps. I've come to not only record for myself, but also to do recording with other bands.

Just like a pro. Is that something you would have never even thought of 15 years ago?

Nao: Definitely.

That is very interesting. So your new single after changing your band name back to アリス九號., "Kakumei Kaika -Revolutionary Blooming-", incorporates the shamisen and features quite a lot of Japanese elements. Is this the "blending of Japanese and Western styles" as the current アリス九號.?

Nao: That's right. We changed our name back, so it's like アリス九號.'s origin song. Regarding this song, rather than just releasing it, we wanted to do something interesting, so we had the vocaloids Rin and Len (Kagamine) sing the song and released a vocaloid version in advance along with animation.

That kind of challenge is also something that only the current アリス九號. can do.

Nao: We want many people to sing the song, and I'm thinking of uploading a video on the release date where I sing the song to commemorate the release.

I see. I can feel your Akiba soul.

Nao: Hahahaha. Releasing a vocaloid version is something the entire band decided on. Like "Let's try doing something a little interesting".

So finally, what do you, who is enjoying your music life, want to try doing with アリス九號. going forward?

Nao: In terms of what I want to do -- right -- I bought a camera recently. I want to discover another hobby.

The camera?

Nao: Yes. We have this new form of content on the official homepage called "アリス九號. official note", and every week, we upload what we have written down in order. Since I'm bad at writing, after thinking about what I should do, since Tora had fallen into bad health, I would like to study cooking, including health and nutrition.

Do you mean that you will upload healthy food and recipes?

Nao: I don't know exactly what it will be like yet, but I want people to enjoy cooking videos, so that's why I bought a camera.

While putting your hobbies to practical use. What kind of activities would you like to do as アリス九號.?

Nao: As アリス九號., I would like to do more live-like live shows. Since we're in the same space, I'd like to throw my passion and feelings into it even more than ever. Since we are here now because there was A9, I'd like to see an even more advanced アリス九號.

(1) An abbreviation for Akihabara, an area in Tokyo where many electronics, anime, manga, video game etc. fans gather.

#alice nine #alice nine translation #alicenine.#alicenine. translation #rock and read #nao

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bunny-wk-fanfic · 5 years

Note

How about a scenario with Harry (Potter) and Kagome bonding over how they are the saviors of their respective countries and the unwanted fame that came with it?

I so loved this idea, thank you for the request!

Kagome smiled at their current surroundings, cozy with just a hint of magical madness. “This is nice!”

The young man across from her nodded his head as he followed her lead, taking in the well known pub for English witches and wizards. “Yeah, it really is. You don’t have anything like this back in Japan?”

“Oh, I’m still getting acclimated to the magical community, what with them waiting years before introducing me. Didn’t want to mess with time or the outcome of my task.” Kagome wrapped her hands around the cup of tea before her. “A little upsetting that they never dropped a line to warn me, or better prepare. Sheesh…”

Harry nodded his head again as she trailed off. “I know what you mean.” he reached for his butterbeer and took a sip, pausing when he spotted Kagome eyeing the cup. “You want to try? It’s actually really good.”

“It’s… that’s the butterbeer, right?” her brows furrowed slightly as her nose scrunched up a bit. It was actually somewhat adorable.

“It is.” he chuckled at her expression, remembering the first time he had one. “Here, you can have a sip from mine, this way it won’t be a waste if you don’t like it.”

Lips pursed as the cup was pushed towards her, sharing a cup with a male was still a very intimate thing for her, but, she was tempted to at least try it. “Alright. But be warned, I may end up spitting all over you.”

“Good thing there are charms for that.” his chuckle helped ease her worries.

Grabbing the cup, she brought it close. Eyeing the foamy top, she gave a delicate sniff only to sneeze suddenly from the foam that prickled and popped. Shaking her head, and ignoring the stifled snort from across her, Kagome took a small sip. It was sweeter than she thought it would be, with that spiced sweetness that reminded her of ginger in a way, and creamy smooth. It wasn’t bad to be honest with herself.

“Going from your look, you like it!” Harry accepted the cup back, grinning with a boyish charm. “Do you want one?”

“Oh, no!” shaking her head, Kagome instantly went for her tea and brought it close to her. “At least, not this time. I don’t want to keep you from your loved ones for too long.”

“It’s not a problem, honestly.” being a Potter made him wealthy, and it didn’t hurt that he was the one that defeated Voldemort.

“I understand, and they don’t mind.” he leaned in closer across the table, voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper. “Though I must warn you, they all made me promise to introduce you the next time you’re around.”

Blinking wide blue eyes at him, with his boyish grin and teasing wink, it took a few moments before Kagome drew back and began to laugh. Harry continued to smile, though he did pull back and looked somewhat surprised. “Oh! My family made me promise the same thing with you!” she waved a quick hand before catching any stray tears her laughter brought on. “I’m going to warn you though, my brother is a little bias when it comes to meeting other ‘heroes’.”

Harry scratched at his beard, smirking as he leaned comfortably over the table. “It’s to be expected, you are his sister after all. And trust me, I think the girls feel the same way when they compare the two of us.” he chuckled as he stared down into his drink. “To be fair, I’ve read the legend of your travels, I think I have a bit of hero worship for you myself.”

Blushing at his words, Kagome reared back until she bumped into the bench behind her. “What?” blue eyes widened at the suddenly bashful man.

“Well,” he looked away, cheeks were slightly flushed. “How could I not? The war you fought was a lot more intimate, your enemy was constantly in your face and you had to use weapons to fight against magic. I mean, yes, you are a miko and have your own special sort of magic, but from the legends, your war was a lot more brutal.”

“Harry, I…” Kagome reached out and covered one of his hands with her own. “What you said is true, but your own war was just as deadly. You lost people you loved, all your life. I didn’t. But comparing our wars is pointless, it’s on par with comparing natural disasters. Both are devastating and neither out-weigh the other.”

He turned his hand over and gripped at her own, glad to finally meet Japan’s legendary hero and learning she was nothing like what Gildory Lockheart had been. She was humble and down to earth, accepting of the differences they both went through and putting neither of them above the other. “Yeah. Thanks for that.”

“Hey! We child saviors need to stick together!” she gave his hand a squeeze. “Speaking of which, doesn’t it sometimes just… get you so mad that the adults of your wizarding society put you in charge of cleaning up their mess? I mean, you were a child, how were you supposed to deal with the mass-murdering criminal when you knew nothing about that part of your heritage?”

Blinking at her words, Harry looked up to see righteous fury on her face as she stared down at the space between them. Hearing her words, he looked back on all that he survived since he was first told he was a wizard. No, scratch that, since he had been born. Voldemort had been a known threat long before his birth, and was left unchecked until he disappeared after the attack on the new Potter family.

And Hogwarts, considered one of the best wizarding schools ended up housing known supporter of the dark wizard and threatened the lives of everyone within its walls, despite claims it was the safest place in the entire world. It never helped that the adults in his life also kept truths from him, truths about Severus, about Albus, truths that led to more losses of friends and family.

“I… I never really thought of it like that.” his shoulders slumped as he shook his head, surprised it took someone from the outside to see something that affected him so personally for so long. “I mean… without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today…”

Her hand gave his another squeeze. “And they always say no use dwelling on the past, right?”

Nodding his head, they sat there for a while, both thinking of their pasts as heroes and legends. It was a while before either one of them spoke up again. “So, what are your plans in the future?”

“I’m somewhat torn.” Kagome shrugged her shoulders. “I mean modern, non-magical Tokyo seems boring, but on the other hand, Tokyo’s more magical side is utterly alien to me. Hard to figure out what my options are when I don’t know what one half has to offer and know whether or not I qualify for the other half.”

“I was the same way after finishing school. Growing up muggle, you have this whole process of how life works ingrained. As soon as the wizarding community in England was stable again, I was being offered positions from every possible angle. I decided to stick with what I know.” Harry took another sip of his drink, glad that the darker aspects of their conversation were over.

“Professor Potter does have a nice ring to it.” her giggle had him ducking his head.

“Yeah. It’s great to stay in a place that gave me so much. And teaching the kids is always fun. Especially when you see the differences from the first years to the seventh years.” both were chuckling now. “The first years are barely able to contain themselves and always asking questions about anything but their school work, my older students are getting tired of being hounded by them for asking more questions and simply want to concentrate on their own studies.”

“Oh my!” she ducked her head as she attempted to cover up her amusement. “I want to see that!”

Sitting up completely, Harry watched her for a few moments. “That’s actually a good idea!”

“What?” her head tipped to the side as she eyed him.

“Think about it, I teach Defense against the Dark Arts. Who would be better to help teach than a miko, someone geared to be able to defend against such without any extra magic!”

“Are… do mean a teaching assistant?” her brows furrowed. “I’m not a witch, Harry. I can’t-!”

“I meant more like a guest speaker, but a teaching assistant would be nice!” he began to stroke his chin, a mischievous grin on his face. “You’re cute too, which doesn’t hurt. The brats might actually pay attention to you if you were teaching them, then again, they might not..”

Blushing and sputtering as he continued on, Kagome grabbed the closest non-violent item she could grab and tossed it at him, which was the napkin that came with her cup of tea. “Harry Potter! I can’t believe you just said that! You’re engaged!”

His lips trembled before he burst into roaring laughter. “Oh! The look on your face!” he continued to laugh, quickly pulling away from the table to curl in on himself as he wrapped his arms around his stomach. “I’m sorry, I really am! Oh, I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. But I was serious about you coming as a guest speaker. Think you could swing that by?” his cheeks were flushed, eyes shining as he supported his chin in a raised hand.

Lips pursed, feeling a little put out at being the butt of his amusement. “I might be able to work something out with my Ministry. I’m still officially on duty after all.”

“Still? Sheesh.” face scrunching up as if he swallowed something sour, Harry shook his head. “Still looking for a way to rid that thing or-?” he knew how delicate the topic was, how it needed to be kept hush-hush. English Aurors were no different.

“No, but having an active miko in this era is a rarity.” she shrugged her shoulders. “But the idea does sound interesting. Perhaps I can even help reinforce the school’s own protective shields and spells.”

“I don’t think you’ll have any complaints from Professor McGonagall should you offer that.” their conversation continued on after that, talking about whatever they could think of as they finished off their drinks.

“Miko, it is time to return home.” a lone figure approached the two, tall and imposing and dressed in a sharp business attire that stood out against the cozy surroundings.

“Aw, Sesshoumaru, and I was just beginning to enjoy stories of Harry’s adventures.” blue eyes fluttered up at him, lower lip pouting a little bit. The male in question let out a huff.

“And it will not be the last, with your track record. Come.” he held out her jacket and assisted in putting it on her. “Mr. Potter.”

“Sir.” Harry stood next to the table as he watched the two. To think that Kagome, a miko, was easily friends with one like Sesshoumaru, her natural born enemy. Once they were ready to depart, he offered a somewhat clumsy bow before offering his hand to shake. “I look forward to your next visit, Kagome. Sir.”

“Hn.” with a quick shake of hands, the two departed the cozy little pub with an arm tucked around Kagome’s shoulders. And odd pair for even their world, whether they were friends or more.

#prompts #fanfiction #crossover #movies #books #Harry Potter #Kagome Higurashi

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putschki1969 · 5 years

Text

Wakana LINE LIVE ~ Summary

Title: Monthly#6 o’clock Radio LINE LIVE [2019/09/26] Download link: !Click me! (some hiccups here and there) All credit goes to my friend @mowskyuu ( @sky_emi on weibo) The entire episode (including all the other segments) can also be found on Bilibili (in higher quality). All credit goes to VOCALOIDの生放送

Notes: As always, be prepared for a long read (keeping things short is not my forte). You better get yourself a cup of tea and some cookies. Without further ado, let’s get started. 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

We start out with our hosts Daniel and Rina introducing the program schedule. Wakana will have a special appearance in the guest corner. Rina was very hard to understand at first, I think her microphone didn’t work properly. Turn up the volume during the first few minutes or so. Be sure to lower the volume in time or you will have a heart attack when Wakana finally joins the hosts. The audio is still pretty bad afterwards so you will have to adjust your volume a lot. Ahhh, Wakana looks so pretty with her navy dress and her gorgeous long hair. It’s been a while since we have seen her with her hair open like that. It has really grown a lot!!

Since this is Wakana’s first time on the show Daniel is providing a short introduction. The usualy stuff. Born on Dec 10, from Fukuoka, Studied music ever since she was 12. Took part in all kinds of events since she was 17. Moved to Tokyo and joined the FictionJunction project. Debute as part of Kalafina by singing the theme songs of KnK. Recently started her career as solo singer with her single debut in February 2019. Just yesterday her live blu-ray got released. Daniel points out that he is also a Sagittarius, he was born on Dec 16. Then they get to the main topic of this episode. Something that Wakana is currently into. Wakana chose to talk about “gyoza” because she ALWAYS loves to eat them. She will never get tired of them. She even goes as far to create live goods related to gyoza. This shows how strong her love for gyoza is. Daniel wants to do a test with Wakana to find out what kind of Gyoza Type she is. Wakana is very excited to do the quiz. She is super curious to find out what type she is [Go HERE to find the test]

Q1: You really wanna eat gyoza but you already have plans to meet someone you like later on. What do you do?

Have some gyoza as you normally would

Just eat a tiny bit of them

Eat gyoza with garlic

For an extra kick add a lot of garlic to your gyoza

Decide not to eat any gyoza

Wakana goes for answer #5. She would rather not feel bad about the smell when she meets someone. She could always go for vegetable gyoza that won’t make you smell bad but then again, if she has a bad craving for gyoza she has to eat them with a LOT of garlic.

Q2: Before heading to bed you turn on the TV and realise an interesting movie is about to start. You have to get up early in the morning. What do you do?

Watch a bit and go to sleep

Watch it while constantly dozing off

Watch it to the very end

Immediately fall asleep

DVR it and go to bed

Wakana goes for answer #4. She hardly ever watches TV. Usually she watches stuff online on Netflix or something. She tends to watch about three films every day, she has her own schedules. And once she is done she immediately goes to sleep. Sleep is super important after all. She worries a lot if she doesn’t get enough sleep.

Q3:Do you see yourself as a hot or cold type?

More of a cold type

More of a hot type

100% a cold type

100% a hot type

Neither

This question is giving Wakana quite a bit of trouble. Also, the answers are taking super long to appear. Wakana works her magic. And she eventually goes for answer #2!!

She doesn’t see herself as a complete “hot” type but she is definitely not the “cold” type. She always gets hot super fast and super sudden. And she gets easily over-excited/hyped when she is talking with others. Also when she is together with her colleagues or having lunch/dinner with someone, her conversations tend to get heated quite quickly. Daniel is kinda surprised because he didn’t get that impression of her. Wakana says that all the fans who have known her for a long time will surely understand. We have seen how she acts after all...so it’s really not a surprise for us.

Q4: Do you have a strong personality?

Very strong

Considerably strong

A little strong

Not very strong

Rather weak

She goes for answer #2 again. She believes herself to have a somewhat strong personality. Right now she wants to try a lot of different things, she listens to so many different artists and gets inspired. Then Daniel remembers that there is another host so he finally starts including her as well. XD But only for a few seconds. And her microphone is still wonky...

Q5: How do you interact with your friends?

I socialise a lot but nothing serious

Just a small number of friends with a strong bond

I put all of myself into my friendships

I keep my distance when socialising

I have no friends

Answer #2 AGAIN. She really likes to spend quality time with her friends, like going to dinner and having a nice girls’ night. She also likes to do Ghibli meet-ups with all her friends who love Ghibli just as much as her. On to the final question.

Q6: Rate your own positivity from 1-5! Wakana goes for the highest rating. => 5. She has a very positive outlook on life. She always tries to look straight ahead and make the best of it. But of course there are some regrets here and there despite all the positivity. Sometimes she can get a bit cranky and negative. For example, when she fails to get enough sleep or forgets about it. She tends to get really annoyed with herself at times like that. She will make sure not to forget about her sleep again.

Daniel says he isn’t the positive type and he would rate himself as 1. Rina on the other hand also goes for 5 just like Wakana. Wakana is happy about that.

Drum rolls for the result. Wakana can barely hold it in, she is so excited to find out which type of gyoza she is.

Wakana is the Plenty of Garlic&Ginger Gyoza Type!! Wakana is not surprised about the garlic. A unique personality with a strong commitment to your own personality. Very honest and straightforward, many people will be attracted to that sort of personality. Imagining you were a gyoza, a garlic and ginger dumpling is really the best fit because it has a great kick to it and it is very popular. You may not always leave the most pleasant aftertaste (Wakana’s “noooo” is so cute here, she is sad to hear that!) but you always leave a strong impression and people will remember you longer after an encounter. Overall Wakana is happy with the result since she really loves to eat this kind of gyoza. She likes things that have a kick to it. Such an interesting quiz. Turn out that Rina did the same quiz and she had the same result. Wakana is happy they are matching. They even have the same hairstyle today with the open hair and parting in the middle. Daniel is the Boiled Gyoza type. Wakana mentions that she recently talked about boiled gyoza in her fan club magazine. They are soft and yummy and juicy. Anyways, everyone should try the quiz too! It’s a lot of fun!

We then talk about how Wakana doesn’t only love eating gyoza, she also really enjoys to make them. Back in May of this year she visited her older brother and his family in Australia. She helped his wife make gyoza for all of them. It was fun to make them in a place that’s so far away. They bought the gyoza skin at an Asian store and then made them together. They were super yummy. Her niece helped too. Rina happened to make some gyoza too the other day. Wakana is impressed. Daniel adds that he recently went to Gyoza no Ohsho which is a popular restaurant chain focusing on gyoza and Chinese food. Wakana hasn’t been there in a long time and wants to go as soon as possible. Rina went to a place called Gyoza Yasubee or something. Wakana also wants to go there. She wants to go everywhere. If it went her way she would be throwing a gyoza party tomorrow. Everyone is invited.

Time to introduce the gyoza goods Wakana has created for her fan club event.

First we get her lovely bag which can be worn in many different ways. Then we have her gyoza plate. She added the characters/kanji of her name to make it more personal. Then we have her GyoZame shirt because she loves both gyoza and same (sharks).

And the stickers of course. Fans are commenting that they have bought all the goods and love to use them. Wakana thinks her shirt is super cute [it really IS!!] A fan requests a slightly burned version of the gyoza bag. So that it looks like a proper pot sticker. Wakana then shows the inside of the bag which is cute and soft.

Daniel notes that Wakana often posts gyoza on her instagram. These pictures are all taken with her very own camera - Wakame. Rina is also a big fan of cameras. Wakana is once again happy to find someone who enjoys the same things. And she is sorry that Rina is getting sidelined all the time. Wakana’s brother seems to be quite the professional when it comes to camera work. Apparently he takes pictures of make-up and for that he needs some super fancy lenses. It’s very complicated and she doesn’t really understand all the details. Camerawork is very hard.

Now we are getting to all the promotional stuff. Nothing interesting here. First they introduce Wakana’s Blu-ray which got released yesterday. They provide a sneak peek of the limited edition. Daniel shows a few pictures from the booklet. Due to the exaggerated reactions of Daniel Wakana tells us that there are no sexy pictures in the booklet even though it might seem like that if you just judge from the noises Daniel is making. They talk a bit more about the contents, the setlist etc Wakana talks about loving Spitz and Miyuki Nakajima. She loved singing Jida during her tour because at that time Japan transitioned from Heisei era to Reiwa era. She felt like it was very meaningful to sing a song like that. That Tokyo performance was actually her final Heisei live.

As we know, Wakana is currently working on new releases. She loves this sort of work. Exploring different genres, finding new kinds of music for herself. This process makes her very happy and she always looks ahead to discover something new. Because she is super positive as we have learned already.

Some promotion for the December lives. As she just mentioned, she is working on a lot of stuff and she hopes that we will get to hear some of it very soon. Sadly, the final greeting is cut off. Last but not least a very patchy Kinmokusei from the live. Consider it a sneak peek for the Blu-Ray. Her performance is lovely. I hope it gets you hyped to watch the release!! Edit: Be sure to check out the Bilibili version to listen to the song in its entirety.

#kalafina #wakana #video #summary #line live #gyoza #wakana is a precious cinnamon roll #and a garlic ginger gyoza

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imagineyourstars · 6 years

Note

Hello! I heard that Hashimoto Shohei (Leo's stage actor) got a nosebleed on yesterday performance, can you make a headcanon or scenario (which ever u comfotable with) of how would Anzu and the Knights members react about it? I really love your works, keep it up and thank you! ヽ(*´▽)ノ♪

this ask is a relic from an ancientera…. back when enstage was still a thing….. but I could finally get to it ! i’m not really sure how i feel about it but somehow this became a scenario ? i hope you like it !! - modmoiselle

Being a producer is no easy job, and if anything, it basically requires a sixth sense to detect when thingsare about to go awry. You still weren’t the best at that, but at least you knewhow to keep a level-head even in a crisis. And you were oh-so-relieved you’d grownto be so serene even while taking split-second decisions.

Tonight’s Knights performance wasgoing as well as it could have, under your watchful gaze from the backstagearea. The screen you were watching the live show on was small, but your trainedeye was roaming all over it, looking for overlooked details or hints of an imminent accident. When you suddenly got the feeling something was off, you didn’t quitebelieve yourself. And yet, it was impossible to misunderstand what was happening : bloodwas trickling down Leo’s nose, and a panic was about to break out.

Fantastic, you thought idly, as youpressed a button on your headpiece, its microphone directly connected to the boys’own.

“Don’t freak out, please, but Leo’shaving a nosebleed.” Izumi and Tsukasa practically turned their head 180°toward their leader, horrified by your sudden intervention. It could have beencomical if the situation didn’t have such a strong potential to go awfullywrong. “Tsukasa, don’t freak out, I beg of you. The last thing I needis panic spreading.”

You could practically senseTsukasa’s silent apology, as the poor boy was fidgeting on stage. It got achuckle out of you, but your mind was still reeling. Fortunately, the song wasalmost over. Just one more chorus to go… As much as your next decision hurt,you had to save face somehow.

“Leo, next time you turn away fromthe audience, try to wipe your face in your sleeve. Do it as coolly as you can. Princely nose-wiping, that’s what we’re going for there.” Arashi cringed sohard you could see it on your screen, and it took you tutting for him to goback to his usual stage demeanor. You were fairly sure some fans had noticedLeo’s sudden impediment, but thankfully, he was facing away from them soonenough. You felt a bit bad for his poor sleeve as he unceremoniously wiped theblood trickle with it. It got even worse when you realized you’d probably bethe one who’d have to fix it…

One crisis avoided. You sighed inrelief, but you could still feel the tension on stage, even as the song wasabout to end. And that wouldn’t do. “Relax, guys. Try to smile and wave, justhold on strong until the end. Leo, you’re coming here as soon as the song is over.”Said troublemaker shot his brightest grin at the camera, even with bloodtrickling again down his nose. At least the contrast made for a pretty amusing scene.

You still had much on your plate,though. After a quick chat with the sound team, you arranged for the song orderto be modified. Hopefully, what you just needed was to buy a bit of time. You ended up needing asteadying breath or two before turning on your headpiece again.

“Ritsu, you’re up next with yoursolo. Arashi will follow him, but in the meantime the others are regrouping backstage.” No one answered, as usual, but you could feel silent assentfrom the stage. Sure, Leo had to rush off stage before he started drippingblood all over the floor, and yet you were still mildly proud of yourself formanaging such a crisis.

Said troublemaker was rushing to theroom you were surveying them from, arm pressed to his face. His poor sleeve was clearly the true victim of the night, and the stain on it was slowly but steadily getting larger. That was a lot moreblood than you were expecting, and you rushed up in a panic, looking fortissues.

“Ya know, I kinda feel sorry for mypoor jacket ! It’s totally ruined !” Leo was chirping happily and didn’t seem terribly bothered to you, but then again, that was how he usually behaved.

“To be honest, I care more about youthan the jacket. Are you okay ? Did you sleep ? You didn’t skip meals, didyou ?” Even as you were bombarding him with questions, Leo obediently let yousit him down, pressing a wad of tissues to his face. His voice was muffled bythe sheer mass in front of his mouth when he answered cheerfully.

“Producer-san really cares about me,huh ? I kinda feel sucky, but also happy !” You guessed he was smiling underthe mass of quickly-bloodied tissues, judging from how his eyes were twinkling.

“Of course I care. What kind ofproducer lets their idols bleed out on stage ?” You tried staying as serious and level-headed as always, but it was hardfor some reason. You could distinctly feel your cheeks darkening, and youweren’t sure if it was due to the sudden physical proximity or Leo’s innocent joke.

“Ah, I didn’t mean it like that! ButI know you care in other ways, too !” Was he making fun of you ? It was hard totell, but his eyes were smiling and you couldn’t find it in you to correct him.

… Maybe he was more observant thanhe let on, after all.

Arashi’s sudden (and ratherpanicked) interruption was perfectlytimed, giving you a pretext to focus on something else and ignore the way yourheart subtly picked on rhythm at Leo’s remark.

“Is he okay… ? Can we really keepthe live going like that ?” As soon as Leo entered his line of sight, heimmediately rushed to his side and replaced the wad of used tissues with newones, while Leo just let himself be babied.

“He bled all over the stage, too. Whata mess.” It was Izumi’s turn to storm into the backstage area, Tsukasafollowing hot on his trail.

“Leader, do you feel alright ? Canyou keep going ?” You chuckled as the ginger was swarmed by his fellow bandmembers, busy checking his condition by themselves.

“Yeah, don’t worry, it happens all—ah,Kasa ! That tickles !” His sudden carefree giggles put everyone at ease and were even echoedback by Arashi’s.

“Don’t worry, it should stop in afew minutes. Even if it doesn’t, you guys can cover for him until it does. I’msure everyone will understand.” They didn’t look as relieved by your comment asyou’d hoped, but you couldn’t blame them. They were beginners too, after all. No one in that room was quite used to situations like these, less alone how to deal with them.

“Speaking of which, Producer…” Izumiwas finally straightening up after his methodic examination of Leo’s condition,his face somber. “Do you think the fans noticed ?”

“Are you kidding, Izumi-chan ?”Arashi retorted, hands contorting in panic. “Wouldn’t you notice if your favorite idol started bleeding on stage ?”

You tried your best to project yourtrademark calming aura, unfortunately not to great effect. “I’m sure some have,but they’ll be understanding if the worst were to happen and Leo had to stayhere.”

Leo, now resting his head onArashi’s ‘improvised lap-pillow’, jumped up suddenly, all of his used tissuesscattering on the floor. “No way ! We trained so hard for this !” It took bothArashi and Tsukasa to restrain him and keep him on the couch.

“I don’t want you to sit out of iteither, but if push comes to shove we’ll have no other choice.” You glancedquickly at the screen, where Ritsu was nonchalantly waving to the crowd,apparently done with his song. “Arashi, you’re up next.” Leo’s human lap pillowhad to get up, straightening up his outfit, much to Leo’s chagrin.

“Rest well, leader~ And don’t push yourself, alright ? Well, I’m off,everyone !” You idly watched him strut off to the stage, and jumped on theoccasion to sit at the now vacant spot near Leo. He seemed to be bleeding a lotless than earlier, but you couldn’t shake off your concern this time.

Leo looked up in surprise when youlaid your hand on his free one, in what could have been a comforting gesture ifyour fingers weren’t trembling.

“It’s going to be okay, alright ?You can rely on me.” Somewhere behind the pile of bloody tissues, you couldfaintly make out a teasing grin, and you couldn’t help but hurriedly add : “Asa producer, I mean.”

He didn’t answer right away, insteadhumming mysteriously, then dropped all pretenses and laughed. It was a bright,refreshing laugh, one that made all of your worries melt instantly.

“Aye aye,‘Producer’ !” You couldn’t refrain a small chuckle, which froze instantly whenyou felt fingers enclosing yours. Leo’s bright smile was now just a hintmischievous, and you couldn’t tell whether the innocence on his face was just afaçade.

“Then ! That means you have to careabout me, right ? As an ‘idol’, of course…” Your hasty reply was cut short whenyou felt his head resting on your shoulder. His eyes were closed, and his smilenow so peaceful. “I’d be fine with that, I think…”

You didn’t answer, feeling thecorners of your lips tug in a small, but uncontrollable smile. Because hisfingers, now imprisoning yours in a tight embrace, told a different storyentirely.

#ensemble stars #enstars #leo tsukinaga #knights #scenario #imagine #mod mademoiselle

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takealottodragmeawayfromreddie · 5 years

Text

Filling the blanks - Chapter 6

Pairing: Richie x Eddie x Bill (Reddie at the start).

Summary: During his last moments, Eddie realized he had something to say, but before he could finish the sentence, he was gone. Now he’s stuck between life and death and he knows he won’t be able to rest until he takes care of what he started. The only person he trusts enough to help him is Bill.

Or: The ghost AU where Eddie’s spirit can get inside of Bill’s mind to ask him for help to tell Richie he loved him.

Warnings: Canon Divergence (IT actually kills Audra) and, of course, death of major character. Some really heavy internalized homophobia in this chapter. Like, really heavy. Even some use of the F word that isn’t “fuck”. So, yeah, please be careful, the whole point of this fic is to make y’all have a good time, not triggering you <3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

AO3 link

Playlist on Spotify (mostly songs about Heaven and duel related stuff and 1980s hits)

Special thanks to my stunning beta @golden-marauders. I know you’re going through busy times and I just wanna say you’re doing amazing, sweetie. This thing would be nothing without you. Or at least pretty hard to read xD

Eddie can’t say he didn’t think about canceling the date. Actually, canceling the date has been the only thing on his mind since he and Bill left the bed. He spent the whole morning contemplating the idea, trying not to be too loud, since his friend needed to put all his effort into looking wrecked and lonely for the eyes of the producers. He didn’t even hear the conclusion of the meeting, and he felt afraid of asking. The last thing he wants is to make it seem like he doesn’t care about Bill’s problems.

He built up a few excuses, too. Lying to Richie shouldn’t be that hard, and he was already reluctant about the ‘new scary, weird thing’, so he wouldn’t insist or ask for any further explanation. Bill could get sick, or devastated after discussing his wife’s death, or Eddie could simply have come to the conclusion that he doesn’t love Richie. At least not as he thought. He was confused, that’s all.

He doesn’t even need to cancel. He took care of his unfinished business, he’s allowed to leave whenever he wants. And, to be honest, he could use an eternal nap after everything he’s gone through. Richie will wait for him and, when he finally realizes Eddie won’t come, he’ll go home and start to forget.

Richie said he wanted to forget. He said he wanted to get over Eddie’s memory and death. Eddie not attending their lunch would be the best thing that could happen to him.

And, damn, this is not just about Richie. Eddie himself isn’t sure if he wants to go back into the dating scene. He thought he would get away from it forever when he got married, and he can’t help but think he shouldn’t be doing it at his current age. He went out with a few girls when he was younger —always during his short seasons of ‘I’ll become strong and independent and I’ll show my mother I can live without her’— and everything he can recall from that dark era is awful.

All different from the others: tall, short, blonde, brunette, curvy, skinny; but all of them with the same demanding, enthusiastic voice, going on and on about their lives and wanting to find out more and more about Eddie’s. Asking, digging, questioning. Did he have lots of friends while growing up? He couldn’t remember. How many ex-girlfriends? None, they never lasted enough to earn that title. How could someone like him still be single? Sonia Kaspbrak, that’s how.

The most voluptuous ones would lean towards him, their giant breasts spreading all over the table, making him think about cows and lose his appetite for the rest of the night. The most demonstrative liked to casually play with his pinky ring and put their hand on his shoulder while acting like his jokes were super funny and bat their eyes while smiling sweetly at him. The shyest ones barely made any eye contact and they usually had a friend who called pretending a relative of them had a car accident, just in time to save them from the silence when it became unbearable.

But all of them had something in common. They expected to be taken home, and held, and kissed, and, sometimes, made love to. That was the concept Eddie couldn’t stand. And God knows he tried to explain it without hurting anyone’s feelings. Some took it well, but the ones who would cry and tell him he didn’t like them were the worst. He ended up putting his hands on their cheeks, making them look at him in the eye and talking about how they were amazing and deserved better for hours until their ego was restored.

Yeah, you deserve better, he thought. Preferably anyone but me.

I’ll call you, he’d say, and he’d never call. He didn’t give them his number because he was too scared of his mother picking up the phone. The only time he felt like he could trust someone with such personal information, was a ginger girl he met in college. She was nice and funny, and Eddie felt randomly willing to keep seeing her. Of course, he later concluded he only liked her as a friend, but the connection was there. He always connected with ginger girls, even though he couldn’t put his finger on the reason behind it.

When Sonia found out about her, their house almost exploded. She accused him of not loving her anymore, of trying to leave her. She cried and screamed that he had changed, that he felt like he was too good for his mother.

“You use people and then throw them away,” she sobbed, “I dedicated my whole life to you, to keep you safe and healthy, and now that you think you can take care of yourself, you want to get rid of me as soon as possible. But you’re wrong. You’re sure you can make it on your own but you’re wrong, Eddie. You’d be nothing without me.”

That was their biggest fight and the only time he decided to remind her about the fake meds. He was convinced it would make him win the argument and his whole life. However, it only made it worse. By the time she was crying in his arms, telling him she loved him and she didn’t want to lose him, he had already promised he would never date someone without letting her know again.

And he kept that promise. The next one was Myra and their relationship barely touched the dating phase. They got married by inertia and he acted like he loved her till the very last day.

So Eddie isn’t a professional on dating. He didn’t enjoy it, and somehow, going out on a date with Richie doesn’t seem right. What would they do? Sit down and eat their meal and pretend they don’t know everything about each other? Will Richie try to flirt with him like he would flirt with the random, hot women he’s used to date? How does a first date work when you already admitted you’re in love with the other person? Does Richie expect him to hold the doors open for him and pay the bill, like his previous romantic interests? Or will Richie do that for him? If that’s the case, how can he make it clear that he doesn’t want to be treated like a lady?

Fuck, how does gay dating work, anyway? Eddie hasn’t even considered that word yet. He just knows he likes Richie, he’s attracted to him and he doesn’t like women, which, by default, should make him gay. But the term isn’t something he’s accustomed to. He tries to act like an expert for Richie, because he understands that Richie is going through a lot and he needs someone to guide him. He makes an effort because Richie needs him, and that’s what finally convinces him that he can’t just cancel their date.

Richie needs him. Yes, Eddie loves him and wants to be with him, but that’s not the most important part of the deal. If he leaves the world and Richie falls for another man —or even a woman— and gets married and completely forgets about him, it won’t matter. Hurting and mattering aren’t the same thing. Essentially and most significantly, he will be happy for him. He doesn’t mind if the true love of Richie’s life is someone else. The only thing he cares about is that Richie accepts himself.

The confusion on his face and in his voice the night before, made Eddie’s heart shrink. He knows that doubt, that guilt, and he doesn’t want that for Richie. He wants him to look at himself in the mirror and, regardless of who’s in his bed that morning, feel no shame about liking both men and women and realize nothing can change that. After years of denial, Eddie knows the best gift he can give to someone he loves, is helping them to get to that point of awareness and freedom.

No, he won’t cancel. He can’t. His unfinished business might be completed, but he still has something to do. He won’t let Richie down.

“Okay,” he nods decisively, fixing the collar of his shirt in front of the mirror, “How do I look?”

Bill chuckles.

Y-you look amazing, if I do say so myself.

Eddie smiles too. He has spent the last twenty minutes wandering through the bathroom, looking for lotions and deodorants and hygiene products that Bill didn’t even know existed. As soon as they left the studio office, Eddie concluded they had to shower, and despite the insistence of his friend on how they were clean enough, he took that decision to its most extreme consequences. To the point where Bill is starting to think they might never leave the room.

Bill tried to be understanding and supportive. He gets it; life hasn’t been nice to Eddie, principally on the romantic department. The best thing he can do is play along and do anything he can to make it easier for him. But when Eddie resolves that their hair just doesn’t look good enough and that it’s probably because of the shampoo, so they should shower again, Bill knows it’s time to stop.

Okay, w-wait a minute… What’s wrong with my h-hair?

Eddie freezes with his hand inches away from the shower faucet.

“Oh, nothing,” he quickly clarifies, scared of Bill taking it the wrong way, “It looks good, really, but—”

Then why would you c-change it?

“’Cause… ‘cause it doesn’t look good on me, alright? It looks amazing on you, but not on me.”

Bill releases an exasperated sigh.

Eddie, we’ve literally got the same f-face.

Eddie opens his mouth to reply but, sooner than later, he realizes he doesn’t have any argument to what he wants to say.

Also, we’re gonna be late if we—

“But there’s so much I need to do,” he answers immediately, alarmed, “We… we haven’t shaved.”

W-we shaved this morning! What are you t-talking about?

“I know we did, fine? But I’m not convinced. Your skin feels weird and… and I’m sure it doesn’t look just-shaved enough… Maybe with some lotion…”

Eddie, s-seriously, you’re gonna leave America without lotion for three years if you k-keep that up. I’m telling you it looks fine. The only reason why you think it’s w-weird is ‘cause you’re not used to facial hair. I p-promise you Richie won’t notice the fucking d-difference!

Bill catches Eddie’s expression on the mirror and recognizes that maybe he went too far. Eddie looks shocked and almost betrayed. Perhaps they’re arguing about something insignificant, but with the emotional rollercoaster that the previous days had been, it makes sense that it affects him. Bill thinks about how to apologize without sending him a ‘you’re right’ message.

Sorry I s-snapped at you.

Eddie nods, saddened.

“It’s okay. Guess I deserved it.”

He forces a little smile and shrugs, and Bill panics at the misunderstanding.

N-no, Eddie, of course not. You… you didn’t deserve it, alright? I just really d-don’t want you to be l-late. And I’m scared that you might be…

Eddie stands back in front of the mirror and looks into his own eyes, searching for the other person that lies behind them.

“That I might what?” He softly asks.

T-trying to… back off.

At the start, he just looks confused, like he might had heard wrong. There’s no way Bill is implying what he thinks he implied. Then, shock hits him; Bill did say that. And after a fleeting moment of fear —what if it’s Bill who’s trying to back off?—, he’s plainly hurt.

“What the fuck?”

I-I just—

“No, really, the fuck are you talking about? Backing off? Why would I be backing off now?”

I d-don’t know. You’ve tried to back off b-before. Maybe you got scared or—

“Oh, sure, I forgot I’m a fucking pussy. Of course I’d get scared and try to back off. Of course I’m not an adult who can decide for himself and—”

Wow, c-calm down, Eds. You’re being d-defensive. I never said you were a coward. I don’t think that.

Eddie rubs his dead arm and looks down, suddenly demoralized.

“Well, Richie thinks that.”

W-wait… what? What did I miss? When did he s-say that?

His friend exhales a breathless laugh.

“You know, last night… He went on and on about how he wished I was more like when we were kids and how disappointed on me he was. And you can’t tell me it’s not true, ’cause I heard it and it was exactly what it sounded like. Guess that’s one of the things he wouldn’t say to my face, huh?”

Eddie, I—

“But I can’t really blame him. I would have been disappointed in me too, if I noticed how… how I was letting my mother and Myra tame me.”

B-but they didn’t! E-Eddie, can’t you see? They couldn’t tame you. If they did, how… how could you have come back? How could you have r-returned to Derry and… and… S-she was begging you to go back to New York. She would have done a-anything to make you stay. But you decided to do what you t-thought was right, no matter what she s-said. She didn’t have full control over you, and neither did your m-m-mother.

“Then I guess Richie just doesn’t see it that way…”

Of course Richie sees it that way! L-listen, the only reason Richie was d-disappointed was ’cause… ’cause he wanted his friend back. And so did the rest of us. It’s true, we wanted the old Eddie back, but not because he was b-brave or strong… we wanted him back ’cause he was happy. ’Cause he wanted to keep moving f-forward, and overcome his… his fears, and travel the world on his… on his train or w-whatever.

And when we saw you again after almost t-thirty years, sad and defeated, it hurt. But not in the way you think. It didn’t hurt like it does when… I don’t know, when a war hero d-dies. It hurt like it does when you realize your best friend is living an u-unhappy life.

B-but you proved us wrong! ’Cause you still had the same fire in you. You still have it, E-Eddie. You r-re-rekindled it when you came back, even if your wife didn’t want you to. And when you… k-killed Bowers. And when you gave your life for… for us. And by coming to me now and letting me know… by letting R-Richie know… Man, you’re made of stone.

Bill means it. Eddie knows Bill means it. And the comforting feeling of the person he admires the most talking about him like that, it’s almost unbearable. He never thought something as reassuring as what Bill just told him could be this overwhelming, this physically hurtful. But even when it feels like dying all over again in the best way possible, there’s still a shadow of doubt in his eyes.

Bill breathes out.

Hey, it’s okay if you’re mad at R-Richie. Really, what he said was just horrible and you s-shouldn’t ever let anyone talk about you like t-that. So I just want you to f-forget about your feeling for h-him, about your cosmic mission, about It, about e-everything, and allow yourself to feel hurt. ’Cause the people you love can be assholes, too… especially Richie. And they can say shit they shouldn’t. And if that shit m-makes you sad or angry or any other f-feeling… it’s alright. But maybe you… if you’re still mad, you shouldn’t…

“Bill, I’ll go,” Eddie clarifies, “I already said I would. And I’m not doing it just for myself. Richie needs me now. He’s confused, he’s scared, he’s—”

He’s an adult. He’s my b-best friend and I love him, but he’s an adult. It’s not your job to… to figure out his life for him. That’s s-something he has to do by h-himself. Please, just… stop trying to be deep, stop trying to be existential, stop trying to… s-save him. You already did that. What he does from now on… it… it’s up to him. You’re not his ticket out of the c-closet, you’re not his spiritual guide. You’re just his friend who wants… who could start a r-relationship with him. That’s all you’ve got to be. And you’ve got to a-ask yourself if you… if you still want that. ’Cause if you don’t and you f-force yourself… well, someone will end up hurt.

Eddie nods his head thoughtfully, lips closed.

Please, just… think it over. Rich’s not a bad guy. He doesn’t d-deserve your resent just because you held on to something… s-something you weren’t ready to do. And you don’t deserve it, either.

“I understand what you say, but I still wanna do it. Not because of Richie, not because I just want to go out with a guy… I want to do it for myself. I know he said some shitty stuff… and I’m not gonna act like it didn’t hurt. Fuck, it still hurts a bit, but that’s not the point. I’ve been letting everything get in the way of… of what I want. And down there, with my arm gone, bleeding to death, all I could think about was how nice it would be to leave that place like nothing happened and simply… be with him. I won’t miss this chance. I wanna take it.”

Bill sighs and takes control of his right arm to rest a hand on Eddie’s shoulder and give it a sympathetic squeeze.

T-then I’ll be with you in every step of the way… l-literally.

Eddie can’t help but chuckle, but the laugher fades away when he rationalizes everything.

Are you okay?

He blinks a few times, shocked.

“Yeah, I just noticed… this is the first time I got nervous before a date… for the right reason.”

Bill laughs, too.

It’s what you d-deserve. And it’s how it’s g-gonna be from now on.

Eddie raises his left hand and puts it over Bill’s, a soft smile on his face.

Yes, this is how it’s going to be. This is how it always should have been.

They’re supposed to meet at a small cafeteria that Richie chose. Eddie is sure he wanted it to be in such an unknown place because he didn’t like the thought of people finding out about it, but since this is Bill’s body and the last thing Eddie wishes is for his reputation to be affected by this experience, he can’t get mad. Richie and Bill are both very famous people, and a picture of them going out on a date —especially when Mrs. Denbrough has been gone for such a short time— would break the internet. They can’t take risks.

Also, he doesn’t mind privacy. After all, Richie is not the only one who’s trying to get used to the gay thing. Even though they already held hands and kissed, doing it out in the open world feels different. None of them are ready to take that step.

So he goes to this little bar, full of colorful murals and artsy details here and there, and stands in front of the glass door, building up the courage to open it, knowing what’s waiting for him on the other side. Once he does it, he doesn’t have any trouble to find Richie. He’s not far away from the exit, and is being loud enough while picking up his jacket and phone, prepared to leave. Eddie can hear him mumbling, talking to himself.

“Uh, Eds, sorry I couldn’t go I just…” Richie practices, “I had to… I had to check on my… No, that sucks, he’s not gonna buy that… Eds, sorry, I should have called but my grandma is in the hospital and… No, fuck, no, he knows my grandmother is dead… Okay, Rich, you can do it, one more time… Eds, I’ve got syphilis… Damn, what the hell I’m thinking? Ghosts don’t give a fuck about STDs… On the other hand, is Eddie who we’re talking about, so maybe…”

He starts walking to the door while saying this, so immersed on his monologue that he doesn’t notice Eddie’s presence until they’re face to face. His expression when he sees him is so priceless that Eddie can’t even get angry.

“Do you have to be at somewhere else?” He grins, maliciously.

Richie opens his mouth and shuts it, his index finger raising as if he had something to say, even when he doesn’t have a clue.

“You were trying to leave, weren’t you?”

He gulps and nods without a word.

“I really want to say I can’t believe this, but actually—”

“Eds, it’s not what you think,” Richie quickly explains.

“Oh, what is it, then?”

“Listen, Eddie, I… They’re gonna send me to… I’ve got… I’ve got gonorrhea, okay?”

“Didn’t you have syphilis like… thirty seconds ago?”

“That one too… also my ex is pregnant.”

“Let’s sit down and order the fucking food. I’m starving.”

He’s walking to the table, chuckling and shaking his head, before Richie can throw another excuse, and he doesn’t have any option but following him and taking a seat.

Here they are, only a dark wood surface and two menus between them, forced to have every conversation they’ve ignored since this madness started. Richie secretly wonders if the serious conversations will ever end, and Eddie kind of wants them to stop, too, but they know they’re necessary. It’s what they have to do.

“I really didn’t want to stand you up,” Richie says, and he sounds honest.

“It’s okay,” Eddie cuts him, “You’re scared, that’s all. I was scared, too.”

“Did you think about standing me up?”

“Uh… well, maybe not that scared, but definitely nervous. Bill said I was gonna leave America without lotion for three years if I kept that up,” he laughs a bit, “Just wanted to smell good, honestly.”

Richie nods, surprisingly solemn, and after a few seconds he seems to realize it was supposed to be a funny moment and not a transcendental one, so he makes one of his pathetic attempts to be smooth. They usually work… with twenty-something-year old girls. But Eddie is not a twenty-something-year old girl begging him to sleep with her. So it comes off forced and teenager-like.

“Oh, you… you do smell good, I guess?” He stutters, “Shit, I didn’t mean to say that. I mean, I wasn’t putting a lot of attention into it and it’s not like you don’t smell good all the time or anything… I mean, you have smelt better… No, wait, I really didn’t mean to say that. What I’m trying to say is… It’s not Bill’s lotion, I guess? Like, it’s you, your last body smelt nice, too… Well, probably not right now, but—”

“Beep-beep, Richie. I get the picture.”

Richie groans, frustrated, and looks down.

“Sorry, this is a bit weird for me. This doesn’t happen often.”

“What?”

“Well… this!” He makes an exaggerated gesture with his hands, “C’mon, you can’t tell me this isn’t weird.”

Eddie frowns, but the amused smile remains on his face.

“I thought you were used to go out on dates and talk to people.”

“Oh, yeah, I sure am.” He takes a breadstick from the basket between them and gives it a bite, “But this isn’t a… normal situation, you know?”

“Because I look like Bill or…?”

“No, I don’t care ’bout that… It’s just… Argh, it’s hard for me to talk to guys.”

“Richie, what the fuck?”

“I know it’s stupid, okay? You don’t need to tell me...”

“But you’re a guy, too!” He exclaims, trying not to burst out in laughter.

“Yeah, but you’re not just any guy. Like, there’s normal guys and there’s you! I mean…” Then he notices what he said, “Fuck, I know what it sounded like but it wasn’t supposed to sound like that. It’s not because of the… the thing.”

“The thing?”

“Yeah, you know…” He leans towards Eddie and whispers, “The thing.”

“Do you mean…” Eddie imitates him, still making an effort to control his chuckles, “The gay thing?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean.”

“Hi, may I take your order?” A waitress who neither of them knows where she came from suddenly asks.

That’s when they remember they’re in a public place and they’re so close their noses almost touch, so they both jump away from each other and stridently clear their throats while opening the menus.

“Billy, I was thinking of ordering the Philly cheese stake sandwich, what do you think?” Richie says, a little too loud.

“Uh… yeah, it sounds like a good idea.”

“Would you like to have one, too, Bill Denbrough, my best friend?”

“Just order whatever,” Eddie groans, rubbing his temples.

“Okay, so that will be, please,” he tells the waitress.

She nods, takes the menus and walks away. Their relieved sighs when she’s gone can be heard in the whole restaurant.

“You’re over-acting,” Eddie warns.

“Over-acting? I’m a fucking actor!”

“If you act like that in your movies…”

“Well, my fans don’t seem to care.”

“Do your fans know you can’t even have a normal conversation with a guy?”

“I already told you you’re not just some guy! You’re… Eddie!”

“Oh, right, the thing.”

“It’s not about the thing.”

“Sure it isn’t…” Eddie rolls his eyes.

“I’m getting a sense of déjà vu with this talk…”

“Yeah, we already had it, and you still can’t say the word ‘gay.’”

“Ugh, man, give me a rest. This ain’t easy.”

“Richie, we only have two weeks. You said you wanted to say it back, but you weren’t ready. I’m giving you all the time I can, but I think you just don’t want to be ready at all. Do you even like me?”

“Of course I fucking like you, asshole!” He snaps, remembering to keep his voice low, “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. I wouldn’t have kept that stupid, fake aspirator around if I didn’t. But this is hard for me, okay? It took you forty years to come to terms with… with the thing! And you still expect me to be all over you in less than 24 hours. At this time yesterday I was the straightest guy in town.

”I love women, alright? I love how they look and how they smell and how they run their nails down my back.” He sighs, “But… but looking back, I also liked how you looked and your smell and I… I’ve spent the whole fucking night thinking about your nails running down my back. And it’s so confusing and frustrating.

”I’m not gay, Eds! I know you want me to say I’m gay, but I really don’t feel like that. You’re the one who makes me feel this way. And I want it to stop but not really at the same time. Just… See? This is why I can’t say it. I’m sorry, but as soon as you’re gone, the feeling will be gone and I’ll go back to normal. There’s nothing we can do. So what’s the point of thinking it over? This goes nowhere.”

Once he finishes, he’s surprised to find out Eddie doesn’t look mad or done with the drama at all. Instead, his eyes are sad and understanding, like the only thing he could conclude from his rant was that Richie is unhappy and he doesn’t want him to feel like that. The waitress stops them from continuing talking when she comes back and puts their sandwiches in front of them, but when she leaves, they know they can’t ignore everything that’s been said.

“Then why are you here?” Eddie quietly asks, before giving his sandwich a bite.

“Why am I here?” Richie questions, puzzled.

“Yeah, why did you come if you thought it went nowhere? Why waste your time?”

“It’s what I do, Eds. I make out with someone and my mind goes all over the place, and I think ‘damn, this could be good’, so I give them a try ’cause this time could be different and I might prove I’m not just the funny guy on T.V. Then we get to know each other and they realize they don’t want just sex. They want you to undress your soul and tell them about your childhood trauma and have a lot of meaningful conversations that go on for hours. They want you to get married and have babies and buy a nice little house in the suburbs.

”Then they find out you can’t give them those things and try to change you. And when you realize you’re just the fantasy of the emotionally inaccessible guy… you tell them to put their dress back on and leave your house, and the next weekend you make out with someone new.”

Eddie remains mute.

“Sorry, I’ve been watching BoJack Horseman,” Richie apologizes, tearing off the bread’s crust, “But, hey, that’s fine. We’re just two old friends hanging out and…”

There’s an uncomfortable silence. The kind of silence Eddie desperately wanted to avoid. However, it isn’t like the ones he used to share with his previous dates. Those were terrible and scary, full of ridiculous attempts to restart the conversation, even when it was already dead. This silence feels like something needed, natural. They don’t want to rush out of it for the sake of stop being awkward. They want to work it out once they have something to say.

“Well, at least you don’t have to tell me about your childhood trauma,” Eddie shrugs, and Richie smiles, “I’m sorry if I pressured you. I didn’t mean to—”

“No, Eds, I’m sorry. I felt so bad about you being gone, and there was nothing I wanted more than you coming back… And when you do it, I just decide to be an asshole and call you names and act like you wasted your whole life, ’cause you didn’t throw everything you had away for things you didn’t even remember. It wasn’t fair.”

“Hey.” He looks around and puts his hand over Richie’s, “It’s okay if you like both, you know?”

“What?”

“Men and women. Seriously, it’s fine. You don’t have to pick a side… at least for me. I’m okay with it.”

Richie lets go a small, bitter laugh.

“Yeah, you say that now—”

“And I’ll say it again later if you need me to. I’ll say it every day ’till I leave: there’s nothing wrong about it.”

“Oh, c’mon, don’t make it a coming out story. We kissed and I liked it. I never wanted a guy before, just you. When you leave, this leaves with you.”

“What if you meet another man?”

“It took me forty years to meet you, and we’ve known each other since before I could even read. I think I’ll be fine.”

“You can’t say that. You don’t know that.”

“Listen, Eds,” he starts, firm, “I know one thing: I’ve been treated like a freak almost my whole life. I’ve been punched and kicked and thrown into trash cans. My glasses got broken so many times I ended up buying contacts. And look at me now.” He opens his arms, “Sorry, but I can’t go back to be a freak again.”

Eddie leaves his sandwich on the plate and stands up. Despite how tears are doing everything they can to fill his eyes up, his face stays impassible.

“I never thought you were a freak, Richie,” he says, “And the other Losers didn’t think that, either.” He grabs his coat from the chair’s back, “We used to be enough for you. I’m sorry you need everyone else to love you now. I’m sorry you gave up.”

Richie’s eyes are wide-open.

“Wait, Eds, where you going?”

“I’m leaving, Rich,” Eddie answers, already walking to the door. He hears Richie’s steps behind him, but he doesn’t stop, “Call me when you make up your mind.”

“Man, what the fuck? C’mon, you know I… Eds, please, I… You know how I am, you know I say stupid things…”

They walk out the restaurant, Eddie first and Richie a few steps after him.

“So I have to sit there and be your punching bag, just because you can’t get your shit together?” Eddie demands, face on fire as he turns around to look at him, “You’re fucking forty, Richie, and you still act like a child. I can leave whenever I want, you know? I could have left yesterday if I wanted to. But you said you wanted me to stay, and now it’s like you’re dreaming of the day I’m gone so you can go back to being straight or whatever you are. I felt like a freak, too, but I got over it because I love you. And I grew up in the same town, with the same people and going to the same church. You don’t have an excuse. Next time you’re not sure about being ready for something, just fucking say ‘no.’ Maybe you like losing time, but I don’t have time to lose.”

Putting his fingers against his lips, Eddie loudly whistles to call a cab, which is parking next to the sidewalk within a matter of seconds. He’s about to open the backseat door, when Richie yells.

“And I can’t lose you again!”

Eddie lets go of the handle and looks at him.

“Really, man, what the fuck have you done to me?” Richie continues, “I keep thinking I’m on a nightmare or a bad acid trip, ’cause I can’t believe this shit. I’m… I’m going crazy. This can’t be happening, you can’t be back from death, I can’t… I… I’m not gay!”

Eddie takes a few steps closer, gaze still reluctant. The fact that Richie doesn’t go back isn’t surprising enough to distract him of the topic. When he talks again, his voice is soft, comforting, as he stares into Richie’s eyes.

“No, you’re not gay.”

“I’m not…” Richie mutters, lips trembling.

“You aren’t.”

“I’m not,” he repeats, with more confidence, “I’m not gay. I… I’m… I like… both. I like both, Eds.”

“You like both,” Eddie nods, a smile blossoming on his face as he cries at the same time.

Richie can’t help but laugh out loud. Normally, Richie’s exaggerated reactions would piss Eddie off, but, with this one, he feels like it’s justified. When he figured out his own sexuality, he couldn’t even finish a sentence, when all he wanted to do was shout it at the top of his lungs. He’s just glad Richie has the opportunity to celebrate it as noisily as he wishes.

“Shit, I’ve been such an idiot with you, I’m sorry,” Richie laments, “But this time for real.”

“It’s okay,” Eddie assures him, “You were very confused, I should have been more understanding.”

“Oh, don’t worry, you waited your whole life to get some, it’s fair that you wanted it as soon as possible.”

“Beep-beep, Richie.”

“So, let’s get this one thing straight—”

“We’re not,” he jokes, rolling his eyes.

Richie looks shocked.

“Wow, Eddie Spaghetti gets off a good one!” He exclaims, taking Eddie’s dead hand and giving it a hi-five, “But, seriously, I wanna make sure I got it right… You… like me… in a gay way.”

“True…”

“And I…” He points at himself, “Like you… in a bisexual way!”

“You’ve got it,” Eddie smirks.

“And that means we… you and I… are on a 75% gay relationship.”

“Last time I checked we were just having our first date.”

“Oh, yeah, almost forgot,” Richie coincides, scratching the back of his neck, “I guess I kinda ruined that, didn’t I?”

“Well, not yet… our table is still there. Maybe we could… still have lunch together?”

“You’re okay with that?”

“Sure… Are you okay with that, too? It’s not just about what I want and you’ve been through a lot, so...”

“It’s alright for me.”

“Then let’s go.”

They laugh again and walk inside, playfully bumping into the other’s side, chuckling all the way back to their table.

“I know this is fucked up,” Eddie says, taking his sandwich, “I mean, me coming back, Bill and I in the same body. I guess I focused so much on my own feelings I didn’t think about yours. So, if you have any questions about this—”

“I’ve got a few, yeah.”

“Just ask me. I promise I’ll tell you everything I can.”

Richie takes a sip of his glass of Coke and nods thoughtfully. He puts it back on the table and starts rubbing his own chin.

“I have one…”

“Anything you need to know.”

“If one of you gets a boner—”

“Okay, okay, okay,” he interrupts, “Do you have any non-sexual questions? Something that doesn’t have anything to do with body reactions at all?”

Richie thinks it over.

“Actually… No, not that many.”

“Well, that saves some time.”

They both giggle.

“Hey,” Richie mumbles, “thank you for dealing with me. I know it’s hard.”

“Deal with an arm getting bitten off your shoulder and then talk about hard stuff,” Eddie grins, “But really, don’t thank me. You don’t need to. I’m glad things went this way.”

“You know, I… I think I changed my mind. I do have a question.”

“Tell me.”

“If you survived… if you finished that confession and miraculously didn’t die… what do you think would have happened?”

Eddie gives it a thought.

“I’m not sure. What do you think?”

“Oh, fuck, I think that probably… I would have gotten scared and told you I didn’t feel the same. And we’d have gone back to our everyday lives and forget about each other.”

Eddie nods, contemplatively.

“Well, I don’t think that. I mean, I guess you could have gotten scared or too confused. Maybe you would have rejected me. But I don’t think I could go back to Myra… I wasn’t happy with her and I knew I’d never be. I found out what I wanted when we met again, but I always knew what I didn’t want.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But what if… I don’t know, if actually looking at your face and hearing your voice made it easier to process? What if I said it back and I brought you to California with me and… we got married? Like, big Hollywood wedding? Happy ever after and all that jazz?”

“Maybe,” Eddie chuckles, “But we’ll never know that.”

“No, we’ll never know…”

It’s Richie’s time to take Eddie’s hand. When he feels the pressure of his fingers over his, Eddie freezes.

“I’m glad things went this way, too, Eds.”

Dating is not that bad at all.

Tag list: @trippy-alexissss

I know there was more people who wanted to be tagged, but I lost the list with their urls so, if you want to be tagged, please let me know and I’m so sorry for these problems.

#reddie #tozenbrak #kaspbrough #bichie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #it #fanfiction #filling the blanks

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itsblissfuloblivion · 6 years

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Kindle - Chapter 2

A/N: WOO we’ve reached chapter 2 and we hope you’re just as excited as we are!

Find the update on FF and AO3 and please enjoy :)

One particularly hot summer’s day later (which included three distinct instances where he thought he’d be dying of dehydration), Harry leaves his campus office and lazily shuffles his feet towards his single apartment. Luckily for him, it was in the near vicinity of the campus, if the lady from the real estate company’s words are to be taken for granted. Two bus stops and fifteen minutes of trying to walk - or if he’s honest more like sleepily crawling - in the morning in order to arrive on time is not what Harry would call “in the near vicinity”, but he takes what he can get for a reasonable price. Turning the key twice in the lock, he makes his way out of the building and outside on the sun burnt grass of the campus yard. Privately, he starts questioning his decision to move his paperwork home and everything it entails. Apparently, carrying ten kilos of paper through humid weather thick enough to be soup is not the best idea he could come up with, but he weighs the discomfort of powering through against having to go back to his cupboard of an office any time he wants to work, and the former wins by a landslide.

Keeping his eyes on the ground to avoid tripping on his own shoelaces, Harry almost jumps out of his skin in fright when he bumps into something soft and very much alive.

“Ouch! Watch where you’re going, you loon!”

Harry thinks he recognises the voice, but being sans glasses courtesy of the impact leaves him rather blind, thus making the recognition process a wee bit difficult. Feeling the grass with his palms frantically, he manages to find said glasses and shoves them onto his nose - all without more damage than a few fingerprints. Slowly but surely the image of a redheaded young woman forms in front of his eyes. Harry gulps. He definitely knows the woman.

“Funny bumping into you here. Quite literally,” Ginny remarks, hands on her hips as she scrutinises him from head to feet.

“Erm - H-hi,” he replies, rubbing the back of his head. Quite the wordsmith today, Harry, quite the wordsmith, he thinks to himself.

“Here,” she says, offering a hand to help him up. “Where’s your son?”

“My who?” Harry is confused for a second or two, questioning his past and opportunities to father children. “Oh, you mean Teddy? He’s my godson,” he laughs.

“Oh! Oh, right. Sorry,” Ginny smiles and her cheeks color pale pink.

“No worries, happens more than one would think,” he responds and stretches his hand to lightly pat her on the shoulder. Catching himself mid-stretch, Harry cringes and rapidly closes his fist as though he just caught an annoying fly or bug. He cringes again. Very smooth, Harry, he mentally grumbles.

“Anyway, I was heading to the library so feel free to join,” she quirks her upper lip into half a smile. Harry notices the bags under her eyes and the book bag filled to the brim with giant tomes she probably has to go through until morning. At a quick glance, Harry’d guess she has to be about at the final weeks of her Master’s writing process.

“I’m finished for the day, thanks,” he grins, already regretting that he has to decline her generous invitation, but dinner with family is not something he can make a habit of missing - no matter the beautiful temptation - as he is a man who values his own life. Lily Potter is not someone who can take no for an answer, if the answer does not come accompanied by extensive and sorrowful explanations. At the moment, he doesn’t quite feel a wild desire to confess to his parents plus Sirius that he is ditching them to study with a pretty girl he just met.

“Well, somebody’s been productive today,” Ginny raises one ginger eyebrow.

“Yes, such are the days when I’m not on Teddy duty,” he grins, ruffling his jet black hair.

“Teddy duty. Sounds fun,” she laughs, flashing him a smile of her own for good measure.

“Of course it is, whenever he’s not screaming bloody murder that he wants doughnuts and that is like 90% of the time.”

“The kid knows his doughnut flavours, I must give him that,” Ginny laughs.

“Yeah, he’s a natural. But so are you, I reckon,” Harry says and prays he hadn’t been too straightforward the second the words roll out his mouth.

“You should remind my brother of this very important little fact, actually. He tends to experience momentary lapses of memory whenever he has to pay me or give me the occasional doughnut eating break,” she pouts and Harry notices again the way a wave of freckles clash on the soft skin of her face. He fights the urge to lean down and have a closer look.

“How long have you been working with Ron, though? I haven’t seen you around until yesterday.”

“Oh, I do it every now and then. Whenever he might need a hand or whenever my wallet feels lonely,” she answers easily. Harry can’t help but admire her easy confidence - he’d never quite managed the ability to project that level of casualness when chatting up a beautiful woman. Not that he’s a beautiful - anyway. He’d been lucky enough to never need to work in his university years and god knew that academic books cost a liver and a toe. James and Lily had always supported him and now he started wondering if it really was the right thing - Ginny seemed much more down to earth than he’d been in his MA era.

Ginny sighs with something he’d maybe call regret. Though he’s not taking full credit since she’s leaving him to lock herself in the stuffy library for the foreseeable future. “Well, then I’m off to the library. Don’t try to stop me, I’m dying to have one more sleepless night for the sake of academia,” she jokes, pulling on the most convincingly excited face anyone could manage under the circumstances.

Harry watches her as she leaves and sighs. A thought is forming at the back of his head, nebulous but relentlessly niggling like an itch he can’t quite scratch. Still, his eyes refuse to leave the small form capped by a waterfall of ginger hair disappearing in the distance, the rush of students moving to and fro between the dining hall and the library. It takes him a moment before he realises he’s been holding his breath.

“Harry, love, you’ve barely touched your food,” Lily points out later that evening, wiping her hands on a kitchen cloth. Harry looks down to see his plate still full, which is weird in itself since he distinctly remembers bringing the fork to his mouth several times throughout dinner.

He finds that he must pause the introspection process when a green pea arrives uninvited and lands between his eyes, followed by a second that chooses to rest inside his left nostril. Harry exhales loudly, making the pea pop on the table and roll over, hitting the culprit’s elbow. Or, rather, culprits - plural.

“Cut it out, you too,” Lily huffs, half-amused by her husband and best friend’s antics.

“Aw, Lily, but it’s fun,” Sirius flashes a devilish grin and Harry acknowledges he’s onto something. “My young godson here is clearly disturbed by something and it is my duty, as godfather, to intervene and ensure that everything is quite alright.” To the young man’s chagrin, Sirius lays on his most sincere and angel like face, batting his eyelashes in Harry’s direction.

“That’s correct, son,” James joins in. Oh-oh, double trouble. There’s nothing more dangerous and potentially harmful for his sanity than the powers of James Potter and Sirius Black working in horrible, life ruining unison. “Allow your old man and godfather to kiss it all better, what d’ya say?” James asks, mirroring Sirius’ innocent appeal.

Rolling his eyes, the youngest Potter excuses himself from the table and walks over to the kitchen to do the dishes in a desperate attempt to escape the upcoming interrogation.

“At least tell me that you’ve got her number,” Sirius approaches, casually leaning against the sink, rendering it difficult for Harry to further ignore him.

“No,” he mumbles, squishing a wild desire to stomp one foot on the ground in a Teddy-like manner. “And, might I add, it’s none of your business,” the dark haired man continues, feeling very much like an adult.

“Fine,” Sirius crosses his arms, “have it your way. But don’t come crying to me when she says no.” As he pushes away from the sideboard to leave, his right hand briefly covers three quarters of the tap’s mouth and Harry is greeted by a rainfall he is definitely not prepared for. He simultaneously coughs and growls abuses under his breath, grasping his glasses to wipe them on his black jeans.

“Will you two ever grow up?” Lily firmly plants her hands on her hips, her hair afire in the pink dusk glow reflected from the spotless windows that fill an entire wall in the living room large.

“No,” James gives her a lopsided smile and kisses her cheek. “And you don’t want us to,” he whispers close to her lips, earning some disgusted mutterings from Sirius between two obviously fake coughs.

“Maybe not,” she winks and walks over to place an arm around Harry’s shoulders. “Although this has unlimited potential to turn into a captivating debate, it’s not the main focus of our family get together this evening.”

Harry looks at his mother, green eyes reflected mirrors of his own. His breath catches for the second time this day.

“Am I going to have a brother?” His question is greeted by silence. “Or a sister?” He lamely tries again, seeing as no one is willing to break the uncomfortableness of the moment.

James is the one to recover first. “Not that one of us is not trying,” he quickly glances towards Lily, who blushes furiously and shrugs. “That’s not the news,” he pauses.

“The three of us have been offered contracts in the US, love. Really well paid,” Lily says, stroking her son’s cheek. He grasps her hand and squeezes, as he did since he was a little boy.

“And? Have you given an answer already?” Harry inquires, struggling to keep his tone even.

“We did,” Sirius is the one to mouth the dreaded news. “We’re going to work at the New York Presbyterian. For the year to come, at least.”

“We’ll be starting at the end of this month,” James adds on and Harry gets the feeling that his parents might have rehearsed this moment a couple of times before acting live before him.

“That’s...brilliant,” he replies, feeling like he’d rather melt on the floor into a depressed puddle than hug Sirius, James and Lily and pat them on the back in good health. He’d never been one hundred percent alone, even though he moved out as soon as he started university. He always had Sirius to visit him, James and Lily to break in uninvited. He always had family dinners, weekends with his parents, unplanned holidays with the whole crazy crew, and someone to come by when he felt like he couldn’t really handle life. And what about Teddy? Of course, he was his official and legal guardian since Tonks and Remus - well, since they weren’t around any longer, but somehow it seemed easier to take care of him knowing that James and Lily were one phone call away.

“Harry,” his mother lifts his chin and he can’t avoid her gaze. His heart aches and he isn’t even ashamed to admit that, yes, he is a momma’s boy and he can’t face life without his mother. “Harry, my love, you really are ready to start something on your own. Even if it might not feel that way right now, you are. Trust your mother, I know you better than anyone,” she smiles and brings her plump lips to his stubbled cheek. Harry takes his mother into his arms and holds her tight, filling his lungs with the scent of her hair enough to last him until the three of them come back home.

“What about Teddy? Am I prepared to take care of him too?” he mutters into Lily’s dark red hair.

“Oh, darling, you’ve not needed our help with Teddy for a long time now. It’s simply that you never realised it,” Lily draws her hands through her son’s dark locks, admiring how it sicks up all over, just like James’. As much as she’d love to stroke his hair every day and watch him grow old, she understands it is the moment to take a step back and allow him to tackle obstacles and hardships at his own pace. “It’s not forever, love.”

“Teddy wants cartoons!” a small boy’s voice booms throughout the room. His shoes muddy from playing in the backyard pond, he leaves little marks on the polished floor as he runs as fast as his feet can carry him to hug Harry’s legs. A smile creeping on his face, the young godfather decodes the message as “let’s go home now” and notes the urgency in the little boy’s actions.

“Sorry everyone, it’s Friday night and Teddy’s special will be on in about fifteen,” Harry chuckles as he checks the time on the old watch perpetually strapped around his wrist, passed down directly from Fleamont Potter ages before Harry was old enough to know how to tell time, let alone comprehend the significance of the gift.

“Completely understandable,” James replies, raising his palms in front of him and nodding his head.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want to miss the new adventures of Babbity Rabbity either,” Sirius comments, picking Teddy up and spinning him in the air, airplane style, an action met by laughter and squeals of joy.

Lily squeezes her boy’s calloused palm and he sighs, yet reciprocates. Closing his eyes, a flash of ginger hair and two freckled cheeks pass before his mind’s eye and something inside him tells him that, somehow, everything will be alright.

#itsblissfuloblivion writes #gryffindormischief #fightfortherightsofhouseelves #hinny #hinny au #harry x ginny #harry potter x ginny weasley #jily #teddy lupin #james x lily #sirius black #ron weasley #harryginny #hinny fic #read-a-hinny-fic #kindle #kindle chapter 2 #james potter #lily potter

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wineanddinosaur · 3 years

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EOD Drinks With Francis Ford Coppola

On today’s episode of “End of Day Drinks,” we’re talking with the iconic director Francis Ford Coppola. He’s known for his amazing movies, but he’s also just as well known for his amazing wine. While many know him for Francis Ford Coppola Winery, Francis owns many other wineries. We’re going to talk about all of them. We’re going to find out how Francis first fell in love with wine, thanks to his Italian heritage. We’ll also hear the story of how he decided to use his earnings from “The Godfather” to buy a winery.

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Or Check out the Conversation Here

From VinePair’s New York City headquarters, this is “End of Day Drinks,” where we sit down with the movers and shakers in the beverage industry. So pour yourself a glass, and listen along with us. Let’s start the show.

K: Everyone, my name is Keith Beavers, and I am the tastings director of VinePair, as well as the host of VinePair’s “Wine 101” podcast. Welcome to “End of Day Drinks.” Today, we are joined by Francis Ford Coppola, film director, producer, writer, winery owner, vintner, I’m sure there’s more. Francis, thank you so much for joining us.

FFC: My pleasure.

K: And as always, today, we are joined by members of the VinePair editorial team. We have VinePair co-founder and CEO Adam Teeter.

A: Hi, Keith. Hi, Francis.

K: We have VinePair senior editor Cat Wolinski.

C: Hello, Francis. Thanks so much for joining us.

FFC: My pleasure, Cat. My pleasure to meet you.

K: We also have VinePair associate editor Katie Brown.

Katie: Hey, guys. Excited to be here today.

K: We also have staff writer Tim McKirdy.

Tim: Hi, guys, how’s it going?

FFC: Doing good.

FFC: And VinePair executive editor Joanna Sciarrino.

Joanna: Hi, everyone. Hi, Francis.

FFC: Hello, Joanna.

K: So, Francis, thank you again for joining us. You’re out on the West Coast? Are you doing some wine out there?

FFC: Well, I’m here in the Napa Valley in Rutherford, actually up in the mountain overlooking beautiful nature. I’m so fortunate and blessed to be able to be here during this difficult pandemic era.

K: You have a passion for wine as much as you have a passion for film. I was just curious: Did one come before the other, or how did that work out?

FFC: Well, you know, I think you can say I have a passion for everything. I have a passion for life. It’s such a privilege to even be alive. All of us can feel that way. But being an Italian American, I was raised in a household on the East Coast, in Long Island. And from the dawn of my consciousness, I never saw a dinner table that didn’t have wine on it. All my uncles, and my father, and my mother, as the children of immigrants, were all born in the United States, but they still spoke Italian. They didn’t teach it to the kids, so I didn’t learn. I was named after my grandfather, Francesco, but they wanted to call me Francis. So we were really new Americans, but the tradition remained. We drink wine at the table. As I said, even the kids, we didn’t drink glasses of wine shoulder to shoulder with our parents, but we were allowed a little wine and we would put 7Up or ginger ale or cream soda in it. Wine was part of that family ritual of dinner for me. As I grew older, I eventually traveled to Europe, and I collaborated on a script. I was a film person by then, and I collaborated on a script in Paris with the great Gore Vidal, and I had this opportunity to meet him. He was a very brilliant person. He knew Europe, and being with him, I had the chance to taste some great wine. I said, “My goodness, this is so delicious.” I mean, the wine we drank— the wine my father and my grandfather drank— that was good, honest wine made by some of the immigrant families, like Gallo. There were plenty of them. They made their own during Prohibition with grapes supplied by the Mondavi family. But this was a different story, having the wines of Bordeaux, Romanée Conti from Burgundy. I tasted wine from Rhône, and I thought, “My God, this is more delicious than Coca-Cola.” Coca-Cola was my standard as a kid. I had great luck and good fortune to taste some great wines. I remember when I had the opportunity to have a little bit of money — because most of my life I was really penniless, and I was a starving student with barely enough to eat — which is why I gained weight, incidentally, because every night I used to have the Kraft Macaroni & Cheese dinner, which cost 19 cents when I went to college. So when I made “The Godfather” film, and for the first time I had money, I said to my wife, “Let’s get a little summer house in the Napa Valley. It’s only an hour away, and the kids — I have two boys — we can all have fun at the summer house. But maybe we can have an acre of grapes, and then we can make wine ourselves, and for Christmas, we can give it to all the relatives.” So when I went there, the real estate agent said, “Oh, this isn’t for you, but they’re going to auction a great estate.” I said, “Well, what’s that?” They said it was part of the most beautiful estate of all, which was the Inglenook Estate, which has been all broken up by the corporations that owned it. But the family was auctioning the home. My wife and I went and saw it, and it was just an incomparable beauty — we couldn’t believe it. It was 1,700 acres. We made a bid on it. We didn’t get it. But then I said, “Gee, we should get a bigger place.” But the story is actually that the people who bought it did sell it to us, and we started to live here.

K: Wow, you started living there, and now you’re surrounded by wine.

FFC: Yeah, well, when you live in Napa Valley, all your neighbors and friends all make wine, and they make very good wine. You guys are much more connoisseurs, probably, than I am. I was never one. I went out of my way to not be someone who would sip wine on its own and discuss its various aromatics. I like to drink wine with food. I’m not a savant when it comes to that. I know what I enjoy, and I always like to learn more. Your panel of your associates, I’m sure that they’re much more sophisticated than I. But I will tell them from my perspective what I think about wine, and wine and food, and film, and life. I’m really interested in everything. I think of all the pleasures of life, the greatest one is learning. That’s what I like to do. That’s the key to how I got involved in the wine business — it was an accident.

K: That’s great.

C: Francis, this is Cat. It seems like the one thing that ties all of your passions together, whether it’s filmmaking or winemaking or otherwise, is your family. How important is family legacy to you in your businesses?

FFC: Well, I think I have to go one step further and tell you that in my personal philosophy, the highest level of something to have would be friends. Friendship, I think, is the most valued possible goal. It’s not money, it’s not billions of dollars, it’s not possessions. It’s friends. Family is a subset of friends. It should be, because these are the people who you are the most intimate with, and the most invested in their well-being, although I feel that way about all friends. In fact, all people — because, as you know, the human race, the Homo sapien race that we’re part of, is all one family. You and I are actually related by a grandmother if you go back far enough. We’re all family, and if you think of it that way, friendship is like family. All of us on the phone right now are all part of the same family.

T: Hey, Francis, this is Tim here. I’ve got a question for you. We’ve been talking about your early life and early days, and then moving on to your early life in wine. So you bought a property in Napa in the ’70s. What was that like then? Because we’re talking pre-Judgment of Paris. I imagine it was very different to how it looks now, or is that wrong? What was the landscape there?

FFC: I think Napa Valley, and the vineyards, and the wine business was in the middle of a turning point. There had been the glory days right after Prohibition. Inglenook Wines was under the supervision of their second generation — I never met him, but he was a wonderful man named John Daniel, who was the great-grandnephew of the founder Gustave Niebaum in 1870. At any rate, there was a transition, and people didn’t really know what was going to happen. In fact, the corporations started sniffing around the thing because families didn’t know quite what the next generation was looking at. It was a very damaging time because corporations bought both Heublein, which was in Connecticut, and bought both Inglenook and BV, which were two of the real reasons why Rutherford is such an important region. They dismembered them; they broke them apart and sold them. They made one into a supermarket wine, and made another into their luxury wine. They did a lot of damage. That’s why a kid from Great Neck, Long Island who had just made some money off of “The Godfather,” was even able to buy a property— the real knowledgeable people were very unsure of whether or not something like the property I bought was really a white elephant. It was sort of like what happened to the movie studios after the ’70s, when people bought MGM, or these great, wonderful studios (that in France would have been preserved by the cultural laws) and just broke them apart and sold the property. And Century City was built on the incredible back lot of 20th Century Fox — all the extraordinary props, the famous ruby slippers, everything was just sold and monetized in a way that I guess American industry does. As you know, we have a secretary of culture here. Nothing protected it. For that reason, my wife and I were really strangers to running wineries, and we were able to have that opportunity and the blessing of such a magnificent property. Interestingly, I began to feel very much as though I was the exploiter of this wonderful heritage — it was originally called Niebaum-Coppola, and we were starting to do very good business. People would come and look at my Oscars and the film memorabilia. We had a very popular product that was not really from the grapes here, called Claret. And to this day, Claret is tremendously successful, and a good bargain. It’s an $18 bottle of red wine that never lets you down. So I began to feel embarrassed. I announced at the time that I’m going to take everything out of Niebaum-Coppola — my awards, my name, the Claret, any wine that wasn’t made there because I wanted it to be pure, and I wanted it to be what it really was. I said we’ll find some other winery in Sonoma or somewhere, and we’ll call it Rosso & Bianco, and I’ll move my Oscars there because I really felt embarrassed. I didn’t want the property called Niebaum-Coppola to be a temple for myself. I didn’t even want the other winery to be called Francis Coppola. I wanted to be called Rosso & Bianco, in the name of one of our wines. But I was making a movie at the time, and when I came back, the Niebaum-Coppola Claret had become the Francis Coppola Claret, and the winery in Sonoma was called Francis Coppola Winery. In terms of making money, it might have been a good decision, but it embarrassed me tremendously. I’ve seen my name on so much stuff, and it only embarrasses me. Incidentally, the now Inglenook Winery is absolutely disconnected. They are two separate companies. There’s nothing that connects them other than the fact they’re owned by the same family. There’s nothing that connects them, which I feel is very necessary when you’re making a premium wine. Their business philosophy is different. If you tell me a couple of wineries that we’re making 5,000 cases of a certain wine, and if we add this other component to it, we can have 8,000 cases that’ll be almost as good, you’re likely to say, “OK, do it.” But if at Inglenook, you say, “OK, we have the same thing: 5,000 cases and if we add a little of this to the batch, it’ll be almost as good.” You say no. It’s a different ownership proposition, and that’s why the two companies have to be totally separate.

A: So, Francis, it’s Adam here. I have a question for you about the Claret. It’s actually one of the first wines I ever had. It’s one of the wines that helped me fall in love with wine. In all seriousness, when I was just graduating college (I’d actually been a film major). I knew your movies and then came in contact with your wine. I think it helped a lot of people discover wine. When you created the Claret, did you have the idea then that it would become such an ambassador for wine in general, and for everything else in wine that you would do? Or was it just a wine you were looking to create at the time because as you were saying it was something that the Valley really hadn’t experienced before.

FFC: Well, to tell you the truth, when I was your age, when I was a young guy— and I have become used to drinking wine, especially when I have the opportunity to have certain foods, like a steak, or something that seems to demand it. There was an Australian wine. I don’t remember the name of what it was called. It was a Shiraz. It’s a very famous one, and it was the only wine that you would really see — I made a movie called “The Rain People” driving across the country. We would get great steaks. You couldn’t get wine, but there was this one wine, and when I saw that wine, I knew it would never let you down.

A: Was it Lindemans?

FFC: No, it was ubiquitous. It was everywhere. It was very, very much available. And it was good. And you could trust that if you bought it you were OK. So with Claret, that was my image. I wanted to make a wine that would never let you down, that wasn’t too expensive, and gave you a really enjoyable wine-food experience that you could count on that you wouldn’t have to doubt. I’ll remember that name and I’ll tell you what — I’ll send an email with what it was called, but that was the inspiration. A wine that wouldn’t let you down.

A: Amazing.

KB: That’s awesome. And speaking of access and accessibility, you guys were the first winery, or at least in modern history, to put wine in a can. Can you tell us a little bit about what led to that decision? And then as a follow-up, I was curious, do you recommend drinking Sofia in the can, or pouring it into a glass first?

FFC: Well, the story there is this, when Sofia was a little girl, like 7 or 8, she was living here on the estate. In fact, she was a very feisty little girl. At one time, I was in the middle of a bankruptcy, and the process servers would come on the property just to try to serve at the property, which they’re not allowed to do because it’s a big estate. They’re not allowed to trespass. And of course, when one would come, my wife and I would hide, but little Sofia would stand on the porch and say, “Stop, you have no right to be here.”

K: That’s awesome!

FFC: “Leave immediately!” She was quite a kid. And I used to tell her when she was 7 that when she was married, we were going to serve a wine that was going to be like Champagne — of course, we can’t make Champagne, but we used to enjoy a blanc de blancs wine in Paris. And so we made this sparkling blanc de blancs wine called Sofia. It was an innovation, I know now there’s a big trend of people towards Prosecco and stuff like that. But back then, no. So Sofia was the early incarnation of a domestic sparkling blanc de blancs. Not Champagne, not at that level, of course, but at that time in the clubs, the kids were starting to drink with a straw, little bottles of Pommery Pop. So we said, “Well, why don’t we make a small container of four for Sofia?” Sofia, herself, and her brother said, “Well, why don’t we put it in those long, tall, Japanese cans?” One of the beauties of my family is that whenever I went anywhere for work, if I was going to be gone for more than two weeks, I took the kids out of school and brought them with me. So as little kids, they got to live in Japan, they got to live in the Philippines, they got to hang out with movie crews. I thought their schooling was more important than the experiences they were having, and I put Sofia in a Chinese school. Their academic thing was a mess, but it was very stimulating, and they knew about Japan and stuff like that. Sofia said, “Call it a mini,” and we put this type of Champagne, not Champagne but blanc de blancs in these little minis and had a straw attached to it.

And the idea was it would be something for kids that were going to clubs. We were copying, remember the Pommery Pop?

A: I do, yeah.

FFC: So we put them in little cans. I wouldn’t drink it out of the straw. I like to drink wine out of a glass, and I like to drink everything out of a glass. I love beverages, and I love the enjoyment of drinking a beverage in a pretty glass, a nice glass — simple but pretty.

K: Speaking of pretty glasses and wine, that reminds me of Pinot Noir, because Pinot Noir smells so good in a nice glass. You have a new venture, and you’re in the Dundee Hills in Willamette. It’s where it all began, so you decided to start something there. That’s really exciting. Do you want to let us know about that?

FFC: I love the Willamette Pinot Noir, I’m an admirer, and I heard there was an opportunity to buy a property right next to the wonderful — and I hope I can pronounce it right — it’s the Domaine Drouhin.

K: Yes.

FFC: They’re the family who really started that style of Pinot Noir in a Burgundy fashion in that area. Then it was copied by a few other people. But it’s like Napa Valley, where all your neighbors make wonderful things. But I love the Domain Drouhin, and the wonderful French family. We were able to buy this property. I think forget what it was called now, but I wanted to give it — I’m very interested, I’m passionate about sciences and businesses, and I always loved this young nobleman de Broglie who won the Nobel Prize and was part of the group that were really essential in quantum physics — and the idea that he was a prince. Now you think of a prince as a guy who has a life and he’s got good clothes and girls like him ’cause he’s a prince? And yet here was one who was devoted to science and was passionate, and was a very shy prince. I wanted to honor him as I have honored the great scientist Archimedes, so I called it Domaine de Broglie and it’s in his honor. I also have certain connections. I took some of the props from the movie “Is Paris Burning?” that I put up there. And I made it with things that I’m passionate about, in this case science and quantum physics. It’s a beautiful place, and the wine is wonderful and fragrant. I’m very proud of the Domaine de Broglie, I really am.

K: Yeah, it looks really great. I love the sparkling wine and Pinot Gris, which is very exciting in Oregon. When I was looking at the website , I really can’t wait to taste the wines. Does your family still call you Science. Is that still your nickname?

FFC: No, Science was not said in a nice way. When the kids at Jamaica High School called me Science, they went “SCIENCE, SCIENCE.” It was an insult.

C: Oh my God, no! That’s awful. Jokes on them.

FFC: It was to put me down. And in New York Military Academy, I was very skinny in those days, they used to call me Ichabod.

K: Ichabod Science.

FFC: Those were different schools. I was always taken out of school or put in another school for reasons I don’t even understand. My father was always moving. I went to about 22 schools before college, so I had what I realized was a benefit. No school ever got a hold of me and brainwashed me because I was in and out of school. Once I went to three junior high schools in one year.

K: In one year!?

FFC: Yeah, I went to six high schools. I went to Jamaica High School, University High School, Bayside High School, Great Neck High School, and New York Military Academy.

C: You had a very well-rounded education growing up.

FFC: Well, there is a theory. There’s a great philosopher, educator — for those of you interested he’s named Ivan Illich — who came up with in the ’70s this idea that school was actually a danger to children because it tended to brainwash them into thinking that the kind of society we’re in where you get a better job and you make more money, and you get all the accreditation, and the grading, and the grades — was to brainwash good, obedient little cog in the wheel of our society, and that the best thing would be to abolish school and to institute learning in a totally different way. I’m reading this book and said, my God, I got away with de-schooling because they never had me for more than two months! A school in New York in those days, which was the early ’50s, a school in New York was totally different than a school in L.A. They were very different styles, and one of the most embarrassing moments of my life was when I came into a class late in L.A. and the teacher said, “You’re tardy.” And I said, “I’m not tardy, I’m Coppola!” Because in New York, they never said you’re tardy, they said you’re late. I didn’t know what tardy meant. But the happy thing is, I really think that the fact that I had not gone through regular schooling was that I was, in the words of this philosopher, getting de-schooled, it probably was an advantage to me. And I know my children, Sophia and Roman, my eldest son Gio — they didn’t do well academically, but in life they learned all about a lot of things, about exotic countries and different kinds of people and movies. And they’ve all benefited in a funny way. I think putting your kid in a regimented school with kids of their age going for accreditation and their prescribed curriculum is ultimately damaging. I would recommend a different system of learning. I don’t even want to call it education. We have a secretary of education, and I wish, of course, in addition, that we had a secretary of youth, because education is just about ideology and budgets. It’s not about young people. But our young people are the most valuable people in our whole country, and we never listen to them, we never ask what their aspirations are. I would split the secretary of education, and a second one, the secretary of youth that really brings young people into having a say about the society that’s going to be theirs.

K: Yeah, life experience is everything.

J: This is Joanna, one last question for you: What is next, in terms of expansion. Are there more properties in Oregon or any other regions that you’re interested in?

FFC: Well, a region that I absolutely love and that I think has wonderful wines and is very affordable would be Argentina. Certain countries have a region which is considered the wine region, like Napa Valley. Argentina has a region in Mendoza, which people think is the wine region, but really, that’s just the region where a lot of people settle down. In fact, most of Argentina is a wonderful wine region and all along the mountains there, if you have water, Argentina is a natural vineyard — the whole country, practically. Argentina has made great wine, but they’re not as well known as Chilean wines, which, of course, is on the other side of the mountains. Because the Chileans are basically descended from Germans and they’re very good at business and selling and stuff whereas the Argentine people are more so descendants of the Italians, and so they make the wine, but they drink it. I know when I go to a wine list and I don’t want to go broke, I always look at the Argentine selection because, again, you get wonderful wines for very fair prices. I think the Chilean wine is OK. But to me, the great wine from south of the border is in Argentina. And if I were a younger man or if the opportunity fell on my lap, I would love to have a place there or maybe even with a hotel, a place you can go visit. Who’s the gentleman who has a beautiful place in northern Argentina, what’s his name? He also has a winery here.

K: Well, Tim McKirdy who is on right now, he is our staff writer, but he also was a chef in Argentina for a couple of years.

TM: Yeah, I was out in Buenos Aires for a while in San Telmo. I believe you may be familiar with the neighborhood.

FFC: I love San Telmo. So when you say horse, you say gabacho?

TM: I say gabacho. I like to think of Italians, speaking Spanish.

FFC: Well, that’s exactly what it is! On the list of the top hotels in Argentina, the first one. What’s that great big, beautiful hotel?

T: The Faena? I think it’s the Faena, maybe. I’m not sure.

FFC: Well that’s a more hip hotel. But there’s a classic hotel there that’s wonderful. But our hotel, which is called Jardin Escondido, is No. 5, and it only has about eight rooms. It’s really, really lovely.

K: That’s beautiful. Well, Francis, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us. This was an awesome conversation. It was so great, and I’m so glad we got everything to work. Thank you again!

FFC: It was my pleasure. One thing: You know, I’m 81 years old, about to be 82. But, you know, the truth of the matter is— it’s not just “I have a passion for film.” I have a passion for everything. I think a human being is a wonderful entity with kindness. We’re a much kinder and more friendly people than we think. It’s just that we’re all addicted to news now, which scours the world looking for something bad to say. All of you, I know, are younger than me, and I want you to have some of my enthusiasm for living, learning, friendship, and the future, because the future will be beautiful. We’ll share meals with our friends, with wine, and we’ll see beautiful works of art. And your children — it’s important to have that to look forward to. That’s my sincere belief, and of course, my hope, for a blessing for all of us.

C: That was beautiful.

ALL: Thank you so much.

FFC: Bye bye. Nice to meet you.

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of “EOD Drinks.” If you’ve enjoyed this program, please leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts. It really helps other people discover the show. And tell your friends. We want as many people as possible listening to this amazing program.

And now for the credits. “End of Day Drinks” is recorded live in New York City at VinePair’s headquarters. And it is produced, edited, and engineered by VinePair tastings director, yes, he wears a lot of hats, Keith Beavers. I also want to give a special thanks to VinePair’s co-founder, Josh Malin, to the executive editor Joanna Sciarrino, to our senior editor, Cat Wolinski, senior staff writer Tim McKirdy, and our associate editor Katie Brown. And a special shout-out to Danielle Grinberg, VinePair’s art director who designed the sick logo for this program. The music for “End of Day Drinks” was produced, written, and recorded by Darby Cici. I’m VinePair co-founder Adam Teeter, and we’ll see you next week. Thanks a lot.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article EOD Drinks With Francis Ford Coppola appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/eod-drinks-francis-ford-coppola/

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johnboothus · 3 years

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EOD Drinks With Francis Ford Coppola

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FFC: My pleasure.

K: And as always, today, we are joined by members of the VinePair editorial team. We have VinePair co-founder and CEO Adam Teeter.

A: Hi, Keith. Hi, Francis.

K: We have VinePair senior editor Cat Wolinski.

C: Hello, Francis. Thanks so much for joining us.

FFC: My pleasure, Cat. My pleasure to meet you.

K: We also have VinePair associate editor Katie Brown.

Katie: Hey, guys. Excited to be here today.

K: We also have staff writer Tim McKirdy.

Tim: Hi, guys, how’s it going?

FFC: Doing good.

FFC: And VinePair executive editor Joanna Sciarrino.

Joanna: Hi, everyone. Hi, Francis.

FFC: Hello, Joanna.

K: So, Francis, thank you again for joining us. You’re out on the West Coast? Are you doing some wine out there?

K: You have a passion for wine as much as you have a passion for film. I was just curious: Did one come before the other, or how did that work out?

K: Wow, you started living there, and now you’re surrounded by wine.

K: That’s great.

A: Was it Lindemans?

A: Amazing.

K: That’s awesome!

And the idea was it would be something for kids that were going to clubs. We were copying, remember the Pommery Pop?

A: I do, yeah.

K: Yes.

FFC: No, Science was not said in a nice way. When the kids at Jamaica High School called me Science, they went “SCIENCE, SCIENCE.” It was an insult.

C: Oh my God, no! That’s awful. Jokes on them.

FFC: It was to put me down. And in New York Military Academy, I was very skinny in those days, they used to call me Ichabod.

K: Ichabod Science.

K: In one year!?

FFC: Yeah, I went to six high schools. I went to Jamaica High School, University High School, Bayside High School, Great Neck High School, and New York Military Academy.

C: You had a very well-rounded education growing up.

K: Yeah, life experience is everything.

J: This is Joanna, one last question for you: What is next, in terms of expansion. Are there more properties in Oregon or any other regions that you’re interested in?

K: Well, Tim McKirdy who is on right now, he is our staff writer, but he also was a chef in Argentina for a couple of years.

TM: Yeah, I was out in Buenos Aires for a while in San Telmo. I believe you may be familiar with the neighborhood.

FFC: I love San Telmo. So when you say horse, you say gabacho?

TM: I say gabacho. I like to think of Italians, speaking Spanish.

FFC: Well, that’s exactly what it is! On the list of the top hotels in Argentina, the first one. What’s that great big, beautiful hotel?

T: The Faena? I think it’s the Faena, maybe. I’m not sure.

C: That was beautiful.

ALL: Thank you so much.

FFC: Bye bye. Nice to meet you.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article EOD Drinks With Francis Ford Coppola appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/eod-drinks-francis-ford-coppola/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/eod-drinks-with-francis-ford-coppola

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