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finnglas · 5 days

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wanted to update peeps on Luna, cw pet health, under a cut. (Spoiler: She's better, but dear god what a journey we are still on.)

She's doing better. We're still getting a handle on what happened over the weekend, but the best guess we have right now is that she might have gotten into a toxin that crashed her kidneys. The vet says she looks like she is in Stage 2 kidney disease, which is common in cats of her age (she'll be 14 in July). And despite being called "Stage 2" it's the earliest kidney disease can be reliably detected in cats, actually.

Anyway, it's manageable and she should be fine for several more years. What happened was:

Friday, she had diarrhea. I knew she'd had a bit of kitten chow and she has a sensitive stomach, so I assumed that's what we had on our hands. By Friday night, I knew that wasn't the case. She was frantic and it just kept going, long after she didn't have anything left to poop out. She also was absolutely not interested in food. My vet had long ago recommended I keep an OTC 'kitty pepto' on hand - you can buy it easily, called Pro-Pectilin, or any similar product that has both kaolin and pectin in it - and I thought I had some, but what I had was a product with different active ingredients that was almost expired. I gave her that anyway, and promptly ordered a new Pro-Pectilin.

Saturday, it was getting worse. I took her to the emergency vet, who did bloodwork and told me she was running a fever and her kidney levels were ever-so-slightly elevated. They gave her an antibiotic shot, a vitamin shot, fluids+electrolytes, and an anti-nausea medication.

The diarrhea did not stop. I borrowed my mother's Pro-Pectilin while I waited for mine to arrive. It had been 48 hours since she had anything to eat, and yet every few hours she was in the litterbox. Saturday night there was blood. I called the emergency vet; they said to give her overnight to see if the meds kicked in.

Sunday, there was no more blood, and the diarrhea at least had color instead of being water-and-mucus, but it wasn't any more solid. It also started to slow down, to every 5-6 hours instead of 1-2. But she still wasn't eating. We went back to the emergency vet that night. More antibiotics, more fluids+electrolytes, more vitamins. They gave me an oral appetite stimulant. She had lost almost 3 pounds.

Monday, she only pooped twice - 11am and 2pm. She hated the oral appetite stimulant - it made her drool - but it seemed to work a tiny bit. She lapped at some broth, which was the first thing she'd willingly consumed since Thursday. I put some broth in a syringe and fed her about 5 teaspoons' worth. She didn't enjoy it but was too weak to really fight me. She seemed kind of vague and nonresponsive. I was sure I was losing her.

Tuesday I got her in to see our regular vet that afternoon. He was horrified. New bloodwork, scheduled for X-rays the next day, and a new appetite stimulant - Mirataz, a little ointment you rub into the inside of their ears once a day.

Let me tell you something: Mirataz is a miracle drug. If a vet tries to give you Entyce for your pet who isn't eating, you hand that shit back and you tell them to give you Mirataz. Not only did it not make her drool, not only was the application extremely stress free, an hour after rubbing it into her little ear, she was eating. During our DnD Discord call, she got up from her bed of her own free will and ate a small amount at a time, five or six times. A far cry from me dribbling broth down her throat with a syringe. Her fur was already starting to look better. Her eyes were brighter. She had energy. She wasn't as vague. If she'd been at 0%, she was now at a solid 55-60%.

Wednesday's adventures with the vet weren't fun. We had to see a different doctor for the X-ray appointment as the other one was out, and she and I did NOT get along. Jumbled information, terrible bedside manner, two seconds into the conversation, drops the phrase, "We have to consider her quality of life." Quality of life? Ma'am! Why do you think I have dropped $1800 over the course of the weekend? This was acute onset, not chronic, and we still don't know what it was! We are not talking about euthanizing this cat unless you can give me a reason why! She also was like "She hasn't pooped since Monday afternoon? That's a concern. I'm sending you home with a laxative." MA'AM. she only started eating again at 8pm last night! After not eating + pooping her guts out for four days! I am not giving her a fucking laxative!

Anyway. Thursday, good vet called me back to talk about the X-rays, and that's when he told me about the Stage 2 kidney disease. There are still some things he doesn't understand from her raw numbers and X-rays, so he wants to do an ultrasound, but those aren't cheap so we're talking about it. In the meantime, Luna is much improved. It's clear she went through an Ordeal and still isn't fully Well, but she's eating (and as of today, pooping normally!), and has at least been drinking normally this whole time, so we have some time to figure out the next steps with her, and I can finally sleep at night.

Honestly. Worst holiday weekend ever in a long time, and that's including the year I had RSV from Christmas to New Year's and was leaking mucus out my eyes. Thank everyone for their thoughts and vibes and prayers.

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demiboydemon · 2 months

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I think Link could probably pull off a beard, but for the purposes of my current fic WIP, I am making him look terrible with it. The reason is because it’s just so funny to imagine Link with a terrible beard. Here’s a clip:

Link pondered what could be stressing her out, then wrote it down. Next, he ordered them from most likely to least likely. Please find said list below:

“1. Rebuilding Hyrule in general.

2. New people moving to Hyrule now that it’s a safer place to live, and all those people have new ideas for how they think rebuilding, law-making, and system-creating should be done, and a lot of them are just as rude about it as native Hyruleans are.

3. The horses ate some weird moss when we weren’t looking and now they have diarrhea. And they’re having it everywhere. Everywhere! The yard smells like it, too. I don’t know if the smell and/or poop have gotten into Zelda’s secret well, but even if it hasn’t, this is a stressful situation.

4. She’s trying to open this library that everyone can read at and some people don’t like the idea of a library that’s open for the public (???)

5. Hudson keeps needing more and more wood for rebuilding, which is irritating because I have to go out and cut it, and that either wears on my swords or means I have to borrow the slate for bombs, and either way it probably can get irritating to having to lend me the slate every few days or have to listen to me complain about how fast my swords wear down.

6. The children in Hateno Village have taken to calling me Lonk. Which is kinda mean. It bothers her more than it bothers me, though. Ha. Lonk.

7. I bought new underwear, and maybe that change is hard for her? For some reason? They’re a different color than the last pair (black instead of blue), and now I have multiple pairs, if that makes a difference.”

He doodled a little flower in the corner of the paper as he tried to think of more. At the end, the list had one-hundred-and-twelve items, and sixteen corner flowers.

‘No wonder she’s sad,’ Link thought. ‘She’s got a lot of worries.’

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davidfarland · 1 year

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How to Write Bad Dialog

Writing bad dialog is almost an art form unto itself.

Recently I read a couple of stories where it felt as if the author was struggling to come up with bad dialog. So I thought I should give a few tips on how to do it properly.

The easiest way to write wretched dialog is to use dialog for the wrong things. In other words, when a scene calls for description, narration, transitions, introspection, characterization, or other things—simply do it all with dialog.

Bad Dialog in Place of Description

Let me give you an example. Our character, Joe, has just reached into the pocket of a dead man that he found washed up on a Florida beach. Now, the natural way to handle the scene would be to show the readers what Joe pulls from the dead man’s pocket. But instead you can do it in dialog, in this case, with another character, Ron:

Ron: Hey, what did you just find in that dead man’s pocket? Joe: Why, it looks like . . . gold pieces of eight, dated 1702!

Can you see how well that works? I mean, if you pulled a piece of ancient gold from a dead man’s pocket, you’d probably take a bit of time wondering what it was, studying it, and turning it over in your hand. But you can handle it faster if you simply have a character blurt a perfectly accurate description. So if you want to win awards for bad dialog, keep putting your descriptions into dialog!

Bad Dialog in Place of Transitions

Here’s how to write a terrible transition. We have just had two men meet, and one asked to meet in private. Let’s have Joe and Ron again.

Joe: Well, here we are in the Redwood National Forest. Sure is a foggy day, what with the wind coming in off the Pacific. What did you want to talk about, Ron, that made you drag me all the way out here, three miles into the trees? You afraid that our offices are being bugged or something?

In this case, the average author might start the scene with the two walking deep into a forest in the early dawn, smelling the fog off the sea, freezing from the cold. Personally, if I were Joe, I’d be a bit nervous, and I’d be wondering if Ron planned to murder me, but maybe that’s just me.

Bad Dialog in Place of Introspection

One of my favorite misuses of dialog is the spoken dialog that should be internal. For example, let’s say that Joe goes to the funeral of Ron’s mother. He walks into the foyer and is approaching the deceased, with people both ahead and behind him. He sees the old crone in her casket, dressed nicely, and then whispers to himself, “I never did like the old bag, but she looks pretty hot today. . . .”

Now, most folks would think that Joe would have to be literally insane to say something like that in public. But as a master of bad dialog, you just might get away with it. After all, I think that by now you’ve established that Joe has diarrhea of the mouth and never can shut up, so maybe readers won’t notice that you’re trying to tell your story through dialog alone.

Bad Dialog in Place of Characterization

Then of course, you can always characterize people by having one character talk about another. For example, Joe might tell Ron, “You know, my daughter Kary is so introverted, I can’t understand why she would want to become President of the United States.”

“She is introverted,” Ron says, “but you know, she also wants to save the country from fracking, and I don’t think that she can come up with any other way to do it.”

That one always works.

Just remember, if you want to become a master of ridiculously bad dialog, the first rule is to use dialog for everything—for descriptions, for internal thoughts, for narrating your scenes, for transitions and deep characterization. Wretched dialog has a million uses!

Learn more at https://mystorydoctor.com/

#writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writeblr #writing reference #dialog #fanfic

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luffyvace · 6 months

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STRAW HAT HEADCANONS

YUP YUP

as a thx for being patient for me not posting all day-

you get the whole crew!! :)

(some of these are based off true stories i’ve heard of from my friends 😭🧍‍♀️)

Luffy

never a peaceful day goes by

hes the type of guy that has to make noise if it’s “too silent”

like bro can’t we get some peace and quiet??

thrives in chaos

his eye to hand coordination is on point bc this man doesn’t think before he does ANYTHING

steals things from his crew even

if he sees something he likes he just takes it

he goes into the bathroom, puts boogers on the tissue then leaves

doesn’t even take it off or flush it

the next person who has to use that bathroom is mortified

when nami finds out and holds a whole meeting to find out who did this terrible act of crime

they find out it’s him he just laughs

per usual

stop this madness.

(he doesn’t)

Zoro

also a menace

not as straightforward with it though

its more like if he gets water everywhere when washing his hands

or spills his drink when pouring it

or pee all over the toilet

he’s kinda like oh whoops

(for future reference- my apologies for who ever you simp for here bc these headcanons don’t hold back)

anyway

sometimes he doesn’t shower after he trains

and just walks in the kitchen full body REEKING 😭😭😭

seriously dude take a shower

”i’ll cool off eventually”

THAT AINT GONNA GET RID OF THE STENCH

it makes me doubt he changes his underwear often enough

he leaves empty water bottles everywhere

it’s worse in the crows nest trust

Nami

thankfully this poor victim isn’t nearly as much as a menace

as long as you pay your beli

is genuinely willing to wait as long as it takes to get that money

and if you die she’s taking your life insurance

if your a pirate and have none she probably just takes whatever money and belongings you own

if it’s gems she’ll keep them but otherwise

she sells your clothes and other stuff that’s not worth much

smells like flowers

yes i said it

every time she comes out the shower something chaotic has happened

ah what a refreshing shower..

WHAT DO YOU MEAN LUFFY UPSET ANOTHER GOD 😱

😡✊ 🤣 💥 😓 😑

you can guess what happened

Usopp

his luck heavily fluctuates

sometimes he can get away with stealing. from. nami.

wow.

to other times getting blamed for farting

by luffy

and no one likes that feeling

has a better fashion sense but just chooses to dress how he does

no reason really

he can do hair and paint nails

nail painting he learned from kaya

would love horse back riding if he tried

he would suck at first tho

likes little children but they always end up beating him up for some reason

‘his cooking isn’t that good!’

‘let’s jump him!’

‘yeah!!’

besides the usopp pirates—they just do

Sanji

he could pull if he just stopped simping so hard

opla sanji is proof

his favorite thing to cook is spicy foods

him and chopper bond over spices bc some are good for your health and all

chopper sometimes recommends new herbs to put in foods

and vice versa for medicine

he helps chopper shop for herbs and such

if zoro wasn’t his big brother it was def be sanji

i love this duo it need more screen time

Sanji is a natural with children

which is why i wanna know why he ain’t wifed up yet?!

still hasn’t had his first kiss

prob would’ve genuinely married pudding if she was regular girl or at least not a big mom pirate

Chopper

sweetest person ever

looks up to all the straw hats

so he picks up bad habits from them

and is influenced by them easily

they use him as a tie breaker for stuff

they all bribe him to picking they’re option

usually robin, nami, sanji or zoro wins

robin bc she uses her psychological knowledge

nami bc she offers to buy his doctor stuff (which is rare)

sanji bc they have a close bond and relate to each other

and zoro bc they’re bond too (and bc he scares him sometimes- like that time in water 7)

asks people to help him with his doctor research

everyone was willing until the time usopp had diarrhea

then he could only convince luffy to do it 😭

Robin♥︎

her stare scares the rest of the straw hats

if it’s not a genuine smile and more like a distant stare that is

shes always observing and watching

theres no hiding secrets from her

she’s knows all

she actually reminds me of a friend i had irl and idk how to feel abt it

she wasn’t a bad person

she was just

just like robin 🧍‍♀️

anyway

i wonder if robin would read stephen king?

she would prob big up the book

only for them to find out it’s pretty dark

she prefers tea over coffee any day

its healthier w more health benefits

it just suits her taste pallet more

plus it doesn’t stain your teeth yellow n stuff..

Franky

SO LOUD

the second he gets up-

SUPERRRRRRR

its kinda annoying

he doesn’t care much if you don’t like it

Luffy is louder ok

your fine

wants robin to think he’s cool

if you don’t get something he said he doesn’t feel like repeating himself

either leaves out more details the more he explains it

or stares at you until you get it

constantly requesting american food for dinner

he doesn’t mind noodles and other around the world dishes

but can he get some pizza??

is that too much??

actually such a kind and considerate person

can relate to sanji on his kindness and empathy being his superpower

♡♡BROOK♡♡

needs so much more attention

the only one who still laughs at his skull jokes are luffy and chopper

sometimes usopp if it was a good one

loves to exchange books with robin but..

sometimes they’re a bit scary

(dude your a skeleton…YOUR SCARY-)

robin listens to him well bc he has a wealth of knowledge

he is 90 after all

maybe brook gets his clothes tailored??( bc who makes clothes so skinny a skeleton could fit them?!)

can play instruments no ones ever even HEARD OF before

randomly re-realizes his generation of people is dead

like now he has to accommodate with the youngsters 😭

i mean people in one piece live pretty long

but still they’re not out here kickin it n allike they used to

like rayliegh-

except he’s younger-

way younger-

ok so maybe whitebeard

but he was still jukin-

IDK MAN

one piece people are weird..

JINBEI

idk much about him especially but imma try

he’s so cool

he can prob cook really well

has very good survival and leader skills

plus instincts

wait how old is he??

looked it up he’s 46

so he’s the 2nd oldest

technically would be first if brook wasn’t a moving pile of bones

yohohoho!

my apologies your right this is jinbei.

i feel like he can dance

like he knows traditional dances of all sorts

i mean he could travel under water pretty fast

he should be able to visit different places right?

besides, he was a warlord

of course he did!

i feel he wouldn’t be a simp

as in for boa specifically

like he’s like i got too much going on to simp over some youngster

ik he ain’t real old or anything

but my dude a grown man

bro ain’t got time

he’s too busy being himothy

i feel he’d like poems

jinbei’s was like the most serious one. and that was still all over the place itself-

i take it back probably chopper or robin

this was fun but it took so long. it’s ok u guys enjoy :). i’m off to watch some anime 🏃‍♀️

oh my GOODNESS. so many tags 🤓

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pottypet · 1 year

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Any Christmas "presents" this year, crinkle butt? You certainly seem like the sort of girl to forget the potty in favor of presents 😆

Christmas Blow-Out

My boyfriend and I were invited to his family's Christmas party. Since they all witnessed me mess myself at Thanksgiving earlier in the year there was no need to hide my diaper anymore. I wore cute Christmas themed pajamas and tried not to worry about my fresh diaper being visible.

When we went inside all eyes were immediately on me, I could tell they were looking right at my bum. My face turned red and I tried to ignore their stares but I couldn't help feeling embarrassed about them all knowing I'm wearing a diaper.

"Staying clean?" my boyfriend's uncle teased me right away.

"Let's check!" my boyfriend quickly chimed in before I could even answer. He pulled the waistband of my diaper and peeked down the back of it. I was humiliated having my diaper checked like this in front of his whole family.

"All clean!" my boyfriend announced to the room.

We sat around the living room, chatting, watching Christmas movies, and being merry until it was time to open gifts. My boyfriend's grandma began passing presents out to everyone.

"this big one is for you!" she smiled as she handed me a large gift box.

I thanked her and was just about to rip into the wrapping paper when I got the sudden urge to go #2. I clenched my cheeks and tried to hold it in, I didn't want to have an accident while everyone was watching me and waiting for me to open my present. I tried my hardest to control myself but it was no use- I had diarrhea. My face went pale as I felt my body give up on holding it.

Loud squirting and squelching noises started to come out of my bottom as I stood there completely frozen. Tears began to form in my eyes as a hot gushes of poo were quickly filling my diaper. The air began to smell terrible and it was undeniable that I was having a messy, sloppy, accident.

"Uh oh~" my boyfriend's mother sang. "Someone's making a mushy!"

I sniffled and cried from embarrassment as I felt my mess squirting up my crack and spreading out over my entire bum. I couldn't stop my mess from flowing. My diaper was completely full of wet poop.

"h-help!" I yelped out to my boyfriend. I couldn't stop pooping and my diaper was reaching full capacity.

My boyfriend just sat back with his family, watching the disaster in my pants take place. "Just finish up!" he encouraged me.

I knew it was going to happen but it was still quite shocking when I felt a gush of poo escaping my diaper. Diarrhea had began flowing out of the leg holes and dripping out. I was having a complete blow out in front of them. My cute pajama pants started to turn brown and that's when they all realized what was happening.

"Uh ohs! Someone's having a bit of a blow-out!" my boyfriend teased. I was fully crying now, standing there with a loaded diaper and poop flowing down my legs.

"Go ahead and keep opening your gift, sweetheart. Let's see what Santa brought you!" his grandma said.

I sniffled and nodded, trying not to focus on the burning hot mess in my pants. I continued unwrapping the gift. Inside the box was a huge pack of diapers. I was embarrassed and humiliated but it was obvious that I needed them.

"That's perfect!" my boyfriend cheered. "Come here, poopypants, let's get you all cleaned up!".

I waddled over to him, squishing with every step, trying my best not to spill anymore poop out of my destroyed diaper.

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foodfightnovelization · 4 months

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Interview With A Cast Member, Action Figures and More!

Hey everyone! It's time for another update. As mentioned in my previous post, I was lucky enough to be able to interview an actual cast member from Foodfight! a while ago. Her name is Holly Cruikshank (or at least it was when the movie was in production, today she goes by Holly Ireland) and she did the motion capture for Lady X! So yeah, I didn't score an interview with Charlie Sheen or Christopher Lloyd or anything- but did you really expect that from a small blog like this? Besides, it was wonderful talking to Holly and she made it clear from the start she had only good things to say about working on the movie- a far cry from a lot of crewmembers who unfortunately had a thoroughly miserable time on the project.

For example, this animator (who appropriately titles themselves "tortured artist") talks about their experience on Foodfight! with nothing short of hatred. A large amount of said hate is directed towards the director, Lawrence Kasanoff, who apparently made them clean up his dog's diarrhea and switched up what they were supposed to be working on on a whim, as well as ordering constant do-overs on scenes that had already been done countless times over. This really sounds like a terrible work environment, and as much as I have a sincere apprecation for Foodfight! it's clear there was some incredibly poor direction going on behind the scenes, and that Kasanoff treated a lot of crewmembers really badly. But there are two sides to every story, and in my interview with Holly she speaks of working on Foodfight! with people who were genuinely excited to be there every day and thoroughly enjoyed their time on it. So without further ado, here's my full interview with her, taken directly from our emails with each other (the purple text is me, and the black text is her).

This was a really lovely interview, and I was delighted to talk to someone who was so happy to discuss the movie and share their experience on it in a positive way. Some interesting things to note here are that the show she was doing was a Broadway play called "Movin' Out", and if you look up footage of that show online...

...the character Holly is playing in that show looks INCREDIBLY similar to Lady X! The dark hair, the red dress, etc... is it possible Kasanoff cast her because of how closely she resembled the character he wanted her to play? I can't say for sure, but it's definitely interesting. It's also sweet that she talks fondly of Larry, remembering him being kind, fun and supportive, especially considering how negatively a lot of former crewmembers speak of him. Not that said crewmembers are in the wrong for this- considering Larry's apparent behavior during production I'd say all their comments are justified, it's just interesting to get a different perspective on the matter.

She also mentions filming all the motion capture, then having to come back around a year later to do some more scenes- presumably this was down to either not having correctly captured some scenes the first time (the motion capture technology seems like it was quite temperamental) or script revisions requiring some scenes to be redone. I think it's also a really fun anecdote to share that when she did the motion capture she was in the early stages of her pregnancy- and by the time the movie finally came out her daughters were old enough to actually watch the movie! It really puts into perspective just how long it took for Foodfight! to get released.

I also completely agree that the creative team behind the movie had "an amazing story and idea" and I think it's fantastic she was excited to be a part of "something inventive and unique"- I really do think there's a hidden gem at the heart of Foodfight!, it's just hard to see with the horrible animation casting such a large shadow over it- I don't blame her daughters for not wanting to watch the finished film). Overall though it was a pleasure talking to Holly, she was so enthusiastic about the movie, as well as being very gracious and open to answering all my questions- even telling me to let her know if there was anything else I wanted to ask. A lot of people who worked on Foodfight! had their lives go in very different directions after they finished working on it, and with there also not being many fans of the film to begin with, I imagine this was the first time anyone had really asked her about it. It was really fantastic to get to talk to someone who worked on the movie, but I have other things I'd like to share in this post as well!

That's right, Foodfight! action figures! No, not the plush toys that were actually released and sold off in arcades and carnivals as prizes, these were prototypes that never made it to shelves. These pictures were found in the trademark registration documents for Foodfight! and show off a wide variety of Foodfight! figures and plush toys, none of which have ever been seen before or since.

First off, we have a line of small collectible figurines, based on all your favorite characters from the film! There's Dex Dogtective, Daredevil Dan, Sunshine Goodness, Vlad Chocool, Cheazel the Weasel, Polar Penguin, Maximillus Moose, an Xobyte, Lord Flushington, a Brand X soldier, Hairy Hold, Lady X, Lieutenant X, General X, and a variant of Dex in his fancy tuxedo. That's a pretty wide range of figures, 15 in all! Towards the back, you can also see a set of 5 of these figures packaged up, and on the box we can see these were made by Playmates, as opposed to Nanco, who created the actual merchandise released for the movie. Honestly, the way these figures are designed, the way they have no articulation, and the way they're packaged, they remind me a lot of Homies. You guys remember Homies, right? The little figures you could win in capsule machines (or buy sets of) that depicted various caricatures of Mexican-American culture? No? Well those would've been popular around the time these figures were made, so I wonder if they were an inspiration? In any case, these figures look ADORABLE and I wish they were fully produced, because I'd LOVE to have had a full set of them. They're so teeny and tiny and cartoony, they're adorable. At the very top of the first image, we can also see the packaging for something called "Dex Dogtective's Utility Belt", but since we can't see the rest of it, there's no knowing what it would've consisted of.

Onto the second image, and this is where it gets interesting. These are plush toys of various movie characters, but they're very different to the ones that actually came out (a given, considering these were prototypes and made by a different company). They're incredibly detailed and have hats and coats made out of different textured materials (with Dex's hat being a hard plastic for instance), and are seemingly the kind of plush toy with a hard wire interior so that you can pose them in various different ways. A sign below also says "We're electronic! We say movie phrases!" Again, none of the official movie toys are electronic (but it's debatable if even these were given they're just prototypes). And of course it has to be said, these plush toys look FAR superior to the ones that were actually released. Just for fun, here's a comparison between the prototype Dex plush and the one that was actually released.

I have to admit, I started laughing out loud putting these two pictures side by side. I'm reminded of that popular internet joke (look it up if you're not aware of it) of a character saying "this edible ain't shit-" and then cutting to to them looking absolutely wrecked. With that being said though, it's not entirely fair to compare a prototype to a mass-produced plush toy, and I still find the released Foodfight! toys to be endearing enough that I'm currently in the process of collecting a full set of them. (I'm hoping to collect every piece of Foodfight! merchandise at some point, I'll make a fantastic post showing everything off eventually). Regardless, it's an interesting look into what might've been with the world of Foodfight! toys, and it's fascinating to see them all presented this way- it makes me think of that scene from Toy Story 2 where Woody sees Al's "Woody's Roundup" collection and realizes he was famous. Everything here is laid out in a way that makes Foodfight! look like it was a smash hit. Not in this world though...maybe in some other world.

Anyway, I have one more thing to talk about in this post. Remember a while ago, when I talked about the various Foodfight! websites over the years? It turns out I actually missed one! In around 2008, the Threshold Animation Studios website had a section on Foodfight! containing some very interesting information about the movie. You can view it here: https://web.archive.org/web/20081003194856/http://thresholdanimationstudios.com/foodfight.html

Unfortunately, only the website's text has been preserved, so none of the images have been archived. There's a main page explaining the plot of the movie and a subpage about the cast, but that's not what we're here to talk about. We're here to talk about the Foodfight! Foundation.

So yes, as bizarre as it sounds, Foodfight! was at one point planned to launch alongside a charity organization that helped cure world hunger and feed starving children. As admirable of a goal as this is, it's also insanely ambitious- cursory research will show the Foodfight! Foundation did exist at one point, but I highly doubt it was ever actually active or fed 10 million kids. It's fascinating to see how much of a hit Kasanoff thought this movie was going to be- sometimes it's good to have realistic expectations in mind.

There's one more thing on this website worth talking about- there's a section called Merchandising Program, and on there we see a list of tie-in merchandise they had planned for the movie. We see videogames, (which we saw a clip of at E3 2006- see a previous post for my discussion of that) amusements (Nanco is mentioned here, who were the company who made the actual Foodfight! plush toys released in stores) but...what's this under publishing?

That's right, it's a mention of the novelization of the feature film! The book that started this whole blog! This is the ONLY official mention of the book I've found anywhere on the internet, and it's fascinating to see it acknowledged in an official capacity by Threshold. This still doesn't answer my one lingering question about the book- WHY is there only one copy of it in the entire world? But if I had to guess, I'd say it was commissioned, written, published and printed just for the sake of showing off to potential investors in the project the merchandising potential the movie had. That's the only reason I can think of that there'd only be one copy, and it fits with the prototype action figures we saw above. But how did the novelization end up on eBay? How did the only existing copy end up in a Goodwill in Minnesota? (that's where it was shipped from) I have no idea...

I hope you all enjoyed this post! I know the topics I discussed here weren't particularly connected to each other and don't segue into one another very well, but I had a whole bunch of Foodfight! stuff I wanted to share and I didn't want to just post my interview with Holly by itself, since it was pretty short. So that's it for this round of Foodfight! facts, knowledge, and wild speculation! Tune in next time for something rather exciting...

#dex dogtective #foodfight #daredevil dan #lady x #analysis #action figures #plush toy #this edible ain't shit #book review

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agentrouka-blog · 11 months

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I saw a theory on reddit that the seasickness Sansa experienced on the way to Vale was actually the result of her being given abortifacient drugs by Petyr, which interfered with her reproductive organs so now she can't have children 💀. Evidence: apparently when she suffered from nausea, some of the wording was similar to Dany having miscarriage.

Whoa. I have never heard of that! Bwaha!

I'd say the text is pretty clear it's a combination of seasickness and the deeply traumatic events of her departure from King's Landing. Having been told she was made an accessory in the murder of Joffrey, and all that. Witnessing the murder of Dontos. Not knowing what will happen to her.

She had seldom ventured out on deck herself. Her little cabin was dank and cold, but Sansa had been sick for most of the voyage … sick with terror, sick with fever, or seasick … she could keep nothing down, and even sleep came hard. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw Joffrey tearing at his collar, clawing at the soft skin of his throat, dying with flakes of pie crust on his lips and wine stains on his doublet. And the wind keening in the lines reminded her of the terrible thin sucking sound he’d made as he fought to draw in air. (...) The wind ran salty fingers through her hair, and Sansa shivered. Even this close to shore, the rolling of the ship made her tummy queasy. She desperately needed a bath and a change of clothes. I must look as haggard as a corpse, and smell of vomit. (ASOS, Sansa VI)

(No, this isn't quite like Dany's bout of Pale Mare and miscarriage in the grasslands, which realistically features copious vomit, bleeding, and diarrhea.)

Littlefinger is unlikely to waste all the effort he put into acquiring his precious Catelyn-alike and her valuable claim and family connections, by nearly killing her with some kind of shoddy moontea knock-off. Because Arianne wouldn't be regularly drinking the stuff if it normally had these effects, nor would anyone else.

Littlefinger isn't an idiot. What would he gain from endangering Sansa in this way? Or endangering her fertility? All he had to do was find out if the marriage was consumated. It's the talk of the town. He's been out in the Bay for weeks and weeks. He would know to ask.

Not to mention, it's quite another jump to go from the unlikely "he gave her an abortifacent" straight to "she is infertile now", too. Seems like someone is more interested in justifying the idea of Sansa's infertility than in considering whether it would make sense.

This is just painfully unlikely.

GRRM needed a reason they didn't have their big conversation about the regicide conspiracy on the ship but on land, where there's fresh fruit available to create some nice pomegranate symbolism. Hence, seasickness and a nice bout of trauma-induced fever straight out of some 19th century novel.

#rouka queue #sansa stark #littlefinger #fandom foolery

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frazzledsoul · 9 months

Note

Two wrongest opinions you've heard about Jess Mariano

The argument that he's never had a serious relationship besides Rory and thus is incapable of one because he is technically single for a few months in 2016. We simply don't have that much information about him to argue that. Though "stable, nothing permanent" indicates that he is dating and getting laid (because he's a slut, of course) but he's not marrying anyone in the next five minutes.

The other one I hear is that Liz really wasn't that bad and that all of Jess's problems are solely his fault and he was exaggerating how terrible she was. This is especially hilarious to me because Liz is constantly spewing verbal diarrhea about her terrible, terrible decisions and the worst information we know about her is stuff she's admitted to herself. So, no, people, she really is that horrible.

#jess mariano #gilmore girls #asks

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yuuuume · 2 days

Text

househusband au headcanons

| 1 | 2 | ?

rating: safe for work

reader prons: they/them

Listen, if Shinji could have it his way, he’d still be playing the sax every night at the lounge he used to work at. Sure the pay was crap, and he wasn’t all that great of a musician, but he genuinely enjoyed his night job (because the man clearly needed a day job to get by), but things change, people fall in love, people have kids for Christ’s sake whether it’s planned or not. That’s just life for you, so welcome to Shinji Hirako’s, or should we say the new neighborhood stay-at-home dad. This happened because 1, he got married! Yeah, someone went up to that mysteriously cheap and swanky lounge one night, took a seat, had a drink or two, and said, ‘Damn, I want to marry that’. Who in their right mind would wanna do that? Aside from me and the Shinji fuckers. Not many, but hey, love is blind! So… yeah. This is his life now. Stinky diapers, a fussy firstborn, and a life full of mayhem to accommodate. Shinji absolutely doesn’t wish he was at work! Someone save him.

What he doesn’t realize is that he will come to love this more than any job in the world and that being there with his kid every step of the way is a privilege he was glad to experience for both himself and his spouse since they work very hard to keep the family fed, clothed, and housed despite working dreadful hours. Because of this, Shinji really tries to give it his all with this househusband gig, to not stress them out on their two measly days off of work on the weekends. The Hirako family is what I call the living example of surviving on each paycheck but despite that stress, they never take it out on their child nor deny them anything they may want or need. Shinji and his spouse try hard to be great parents and are successful, they just don’t know it yet. Just like any dad, though, they start at the very beginning, which is the entrance of their child into the world! Shinji was given a sweet baby girl and managed to take care of her fairly well when his spouse was on paid family leave as provided by their work. They could have taken extra time but the pay was too dangerous to live on for long without overtime hours and the family needed more to accommodate their newer, safer housing so off to work it was, and there began Shinji’s adventures with his newborn daughter.

To be honest, the new dad didn’t expect to do much since he hadn’t done so before but that reality came to a screeching halt when Shinji realized that 1. He was behind on laundry, and 2. His newborn had explosive- and I mean explosive- diarrhea. The kind that gets from the bum to the nape of her neck kind of explosive and she’s screaming her head off from the discomfort of her excrements. All is not well in the Hirako household the first week without parent 2 around to help and he’s quick to break down which is sad, not going to lie. Shinji is so overwhelmed by the lonely cries of his daughter, housework, managing expenses, and paying bills, that he kind of just breaks down that week. He feels like a terrible father, and an even worse husband once he realizes that he can’t even do what his mother and her mother had done and it was as if his daughter could understand his pain, that she finally let up on the crying upon behind held in his arms after cleaning her up. Shinji quite literally let out tears of relief at her silence and realized that all she wanted was to be held and loved by him. Pure Dad moments!

He took a lot of tips from various forums and mommy blogs, investing in regular skin-to-skin contact (despite the awkward clawing at his nips) as well as simply keeping his baby in a carrier wrap and her fussiness improves greatly! So much that Shinji can spend more time doing things he needs to, but will lie her down in the very expensive but effective baby swing as it mimics his movements well enough to keep her asleep for at least an hour while he completes more physically demanding tasks such as scrubbing the stove, mopping, etc. Now what you’re probably thinking is, Mia where’s the daily route? Or maybe, What about Dad friend!Kensei!? Well don’t worry, I’ll get to it, starting with Kensei. He and his spouse visited the Hirako’s with food in hand and young twins clad in matching outfits once the family of 3 had moved into the neighborhood as a welcome gesture. Least to say, the Hirako’s weren’t used to that as the most they’ve gotten before is a half-drunk man with pissed pants sleeping at their door. Ya gotta love the seedier parts of cities, amirite?

Those who came to visit after Shinji’s spouse returned to work were visibly surprised by his presence. He knew it wasn’t that common for men to practice this way of life but damn, he didn’t think it was that surprising when he informed a mother that his spouse was at work upon their rather concerned inquiry. The gifts of food for the new family eventually stopped as his daughter reached 1 month old, leaving him alone as not many wanted to schedule playdates or even a general hangout simply because he was a father. Kensei was the only person to extend an invite to his place as he swore the neighborhood mothers were like vultures and that he didn’t want Shinji’s daughter to be exposed to too many pathogens from the outside world all at once. Simply the teachings of a professional househusband that Shinji gladly accepted and modified to fit his parenting style much better.

Alright, so Shinji’s got one Dad™ Friend, the oh-so-trusty Kensei Muguruma at his side, but it isn’t often since the latter works at home. So what is a usual day at the Hirako Household? It starts a bit like this: A groggy Shinji rolling off the bed like he hadn’t slept all night… which is partially true. The baby has her days and nights crossed for a long while so Papa Hirako is up keeping her company for his spouse to get enough sleep for work. His first duty of the day is to get breakfast started and make sure his spouse's work clothes are set for the day. They’re very insistent that they can iron the clothes by themselves but Shinji does it anyway then moves on to perfecting a breakfast they’ve been eating almost every morning since the birth of the baby. Shinji tends to worry his spouse will get sick of it but they always comment on how much better he’s been getting, and how it tastes different every day (in a good way, of course). Kensei’s cooking tips not only benefitted Shinji, but his spouse too as the married couple would often cook meals together on the weekends to bond with each other.

Although the morning is the most tense time of the day, Shinji usually gets through unscathed with the baby slung to his chest, one hand feeding her a warmed bottle and the other feeding himself. He’d be lying if he said food never landed on the kid's head. Both he and his spouse find it funny, as it was the little things in life that made a difference in their day. With their little one back to sleep in the sling secured across Shinji’s chest, he kisses his partner farewell, waving them off before going back into the house to catch some extra sleep. He’s usually more energized after the nap and gets started on whatever needs to be done which is breakfast dishes, laundry, and any other daily cleaning. His little girl is just bordering 2 months at this time, so Shinji makes a good effort to stimulate her, jingling noisy toys, and talking about any and everything while being sure to listen for any cues that she’s had enough. She’s quite the talker just like her father, entertaining him as she attempts to form words that sound like pure gibberish. Shinji records countless videos daily just to capture her development, sending a few to his spouse to watch at work during their break since he isn’t much for showcasing his kid over social media.

At this age, Shinji’s special gal is developing well and for the most part, still on track with meeting her milestones. Everything is seemingly happy-go-lucky until he receives a call from the pediatrics office that she will need to be vaccinated. The appointment for said vaccination was for today, and since then Shinji believed he would face this with his spouse but sadly that wouldn’t be the case. The first-time father was more nervous than his baby but Kensei reassured him that everything would be fine, and to be a little more gentle as the injection site would be a little on the sensitive side. Shinji at least tried his best to stay calm but both he and his baby were left crying. Shinji only cried a bit when the doctor left the room, of course, the immense feeling of guilt was just too much for him. Regardless of their conjoined Hirako Meltdown, Shinji made everything better by getting her all swaddled up and offering a bottle of milk during the ride back home.

Should he need to go shopping, Shinji will typically do so with Kensei because they’re designated Dad Friends, and therefore must move together. Shinji gets into couponing to save a few bucks and makes an effort to clip any and everything he might find useful. He even gives Kensei coupons for the really expensive organic stuff he always buys and makes sure to give it to him on a near-weekly basis. When shopping, the father usually has the luxury of browsing through most aisles, shuffling among his many organized coupons to grab the right box of crackers. If Kensei tags along, he finds it a little more difficult as the mothers in the neighborhood tend to hover over his children when in reality they’re trying to score him. Some like to fawn over his little girl due to her chubby cheeks but nothing more ever comes after. He doesn’t mind shopping with Kensei, it simply feels as though someone is always breathing down his back and that's a very weird situation to be in, much less with his baby. The little one is almost always intrigued by the older babies she can see, giving a gummy smile. Kensei 100% thinks it's cute but won’t admit it. He cannot give those moms another thing to obsess over.

Once he gets home, Shinji tries to at least get the refrigerator items put away before settling on one of Kensei’s so-called “not complex” dinner recipes. He wouldn’t dare try grilled fish again as he once neglected to check on the food, leaving the dinner harder than concrete. They had to resort to food delivery although it hurt the couple's pocket but they made do. Shinji attempts the basic hamburger steak and surprisingly does well as this time he does not leave the kitchen for a single second, watching the meat sear in the pan and checking each steak with a meat thermometer for extra security. His spouse is usually not home until all of the last-minute cleaning for the day has been done so Shinji does well to keep the dinner he cooked nice and warm until their expected arrival. His spouse is reasonably tired by then but at least they get to eat with their husband, the baby either entertained or asleep not far. They are so grateful for Shinji and all that he does as they realize taking care of an infant solo is notoriously difficult. They thank him for the dinner, offering to co-wash the dishes before getting ready to wind down for the night. That is if their little one lets Shinji do so for long.

As Shinji’s little one gets older with time he tries to get into various hobbies that clearly don’t lean into his favor. Those include but are not limited to finger painting, as his little she-devil had a phase of painting on the floors and walls (thank goodness he got the washable kind), photography (she kept throwing the disposable camera at things she 100% should not have been throwing it at), singing (she grew a knack for screaming at the top of her lungs), and gardening. Shinji could never forget his toddler dousing the newborn plants with soap to get them clean. They ended up kicking the bucket that very week and never recovered. Needless to say, this papa has been through some shit the older his daughter has gotten. All those memories ended up in a scrapbook though, videos grew into compilations separated by year, and soon he’d be marking a 5th compilation.

She’d grown well into her striking blonde hair although it had the shape of her other parents, and her teeth were as showy as his but Shinji convinced her they were cool so she wouldn’t have to deal with self-esteem issues, and oh boy, did she have a lot to say. Shinji didn’t even have to teach her to talk either, she just up and started, then never stopped. Even though she may have her quirks, the mini Hirako acts similar to her father. She’s been aiming to nail every single one of his expressions and does so very well to the point no one questions whether or not he is her father. Despite that, she gets on well with Kensei’s twins, referring to them as her cousins and to Kensei as her uncle. Shinji’s daughter is happy that her cousins stayed back from kindergarten so she wouldn’t be lonely, and in turn, they helped their Uncle Shinji get his girl into a few hobbies before she entered school.

It was certain that Shinji did not want to let his little girl go to school, but his spouse enforced it, saying it could give him a break and that she’d have to go the following year anyway. It was tough on him as it felt like it was yesterday when she was just a swaddled newborn on the date of her arrival, so beautiful and sweet, craving nothing but the love and attention of her parents. She was still an angel that day, kissing her father on his cheek as she ran off to the school with the other kids. He promised himself he wouldn’t cry and did so to the best of his abilities as he got home. Shinji couldn’t help but slump onto the couch, staring at the framed picture of their very first family portrait. The one on his phone from this morning would soon make its way there too, having been taken outside their home, a simple photo of the family of 3 to commemorate her first day of school. Shinji was bored with nothing to do afterward, not even thinking about the possibility of having another child. It was too expensive, not to mention they wouldn’t have the space should it be a boy this time around. He’s left to sulk until noisy moving vehicles drive on by for a few days and he ends up outside checking out the new dad who gives both him and Kensei a bad vibe.

Mr. Sousuke Aizen and his little one.

#bleach #bleach fanfiction #bleach headcanons #shinji hirako #bleach x reader #shinji x reader #shinji hirako x reader

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pmak2002 · 4 months

Text

Wonka Sickfic Chocolate won't help a upset stomach.

When Willy wakes up one morning only a couple of months after opening his first successful factory, he feels way off. His head aches and he feels super tired and warm. But what hurt the most was his belly. The past few days he had been coming up with tons of recipes with occasional help from Noodle. Her mother Dorothy allowed Noodle to help out and work with her friend

That's right Noodle was here today her mother would be out of town for a bit. So she was staying with Willy. He groaned as he sat up in bed his muscles aching. He tried to get out of bed but he fell right back onto the bed. "ohh I feel terrible." Willy groaned. "Noodle!" he called out.

He winced in pain when he spoke. Everything hurt but his stomach hurt most of all. It was starting to wake up and make a lot of sickly and painful noises. "Noodle," Willy called again. Surely she was awake and somewhere. His house wasn't big. She was probably downstairs reading knowing her.

"Willy?" he heard her voice as she climbed the stairs to his room. "What's going on are you alright?" she asked concerned.

Willy groaned and sat up in bed. "Noodle I don't feel good. My body aches and my stomach hurts.”

Willy whined and placed his hand protectively on his stomach where it hurt.

Noodle frowned and approached the sickly chocolatier. She felt his forehead and frowned.

"you have a fever. Do you still have that first aid kit my mom got you?"

Willy nodded “In the bathroom.” he groaned and clutched his stomach can you grab the trash can? I feel like I’m gonna throw up.”

Noodle rushed into the bathroom and returned with the trash can and thermometer. As soon as she handed him the trash can. He retched and proceeded to empty his stomach of all contents. Which were mostly partly digested chocolates.

“Willy, did you eat only chocolate yesterday?” Noodle asked worried laced in her voice.

‘I had to make sure the new recipes came out ok.” Willy said weakly before retching over the trash can again.

“No wonder you’re so sick then you’ve barely eaten anything.” She said.

“No I also ate the casserole your mom brought over when she dropped you off yesterday,” Willy told her. “I was starting to feel sick though I could barely eat any of it. And I love your mom’s cooking.” He said.

Noodle laughed. “Oh Willy You probably started feeling bad yesterday but didn’t think much of it correct?” she asked.

Willy nodded “It’s not unusual for my stomach to hurt after I eat too much of my chocolate but I thought it would go away by the time your mom brought you over.”

Noodle sighed and shook her head. “Willy you are impossible. Truly impossible.”

Willy laughed and coughed harshly.

He groaned and rubbed his stomach.

“It hurts so bad Noodle.”

Noodle frowned and took the thermometer to check his temperature.

“Hm 102.1 Not good Willy. No wonder you don’t feel well.”

Willy nodded then quickly stood up and rushed off to the bathroom closing the door behind him.

Noodle worriedly watched the door. She could hear Willy groaning in pain and she could hear him grumbling under his breath.

“Willy, Are you alright?” Noodle called.

“I’ll be out in a minute Toodles,” Willy called back he sounded so sick and tired. Noodle frowned as she heard her good friend groaning and whimpering in pain. It seemed his bowels were acting up too. Which definitely wouldn’t help Willy’s condition. Noodle ran to get a tall glass of water. If she knew anything it was that all the vomiting and diarrhea would make Willy very dehydrated if he didn’t have any water in his body.

By the time she came back with the water. Willy was out of the bathroom and back on his bed cradling his bloated and achy stomach.

Willy whimpered at her when she came back to his room and his face contorted in pain nearly broke Noodle’s heart. No wonder he hadn’t gotten up when she had. He was probably so tired from working a lot and eating so much chocolate.

“Here Willy let’s have some water ok? I want you to try to stay as hydrated as possible. Don’t gulp it down. Let’s try slow sips. If it comes back up that’s ok. But I want you to keep trying a little. If you can’t keep any down at all. That’s ok You’ll fast until your stomach settles yes?” Noodle explained.

She wanted her good friend to be as comfortable as possible even with this awful stomach bug wreaking havoc on the young chocolatier’s body.

Willy nodded and carefully took the glass and took a small sip of the water. When it hurt his stomach it hurt a bit and he flinched. He took a few more tiny sips then handed the glass to Noodle and she put it on his nightstand.

“There we go. Now how do you feel?” she asked as she sat on the bed next to him.

“Awful I can’t remember the last time I felt this bad.” He whimpered and tightened his grip on his stomach.

Noodle quickly went and grabbed some medicine for Willy’s stomach even though his stomach was hurting him so much and there was the risk of him puking it back up. Noodle was willing to do anything to help Willy feel better by any means necessary.

He was supposed to help her this weekend but she didn’t mind helping him out. He was like was like a big brother to her and she’d do anything to help him. Besides they had been through so much together already. So she didn’t mind. She knew if her mother was here she would have helped too.

“Let’s try a little medicine ok?” she said as she poured the proper dosage into the cap.

Willy nodded he just wanted the cramps and flipping in his belly to stop. He wanted to sleep. But the pain was too great. He took the medicine despite it’s bitter flavor.

“Yuck that’s disgusting,” he whined.

“It’ll help if you can keep it in you,” she said to him.

Noodle pulled back the covers and got Willy situated under the warm heavy blankets.

Then she was just about to leave his room when Willy grabbed her hand.

“Can you stay with me Noodles please?’ he asked weakly. He looked at her with those sad and tired eyes. How could Noodle say no?

She crawled into bed next to him.

“Can I rub your stomach do you think that might help?” She asked

He nodded and slowly Noodle started to massage his belly. Willy sighed as she gently rubbed his stomach. She could feel it moving under her hands. It felt icky and bloated. She could only imagine how much it was hurting poor Willy.

Eventually, Willy managed to fall asleep and Noodle soon after.

It wasn’t long though before Willy was up and vomiting again. Noodle rubbed his back.

Willy coughed and retched harshly in the trash can.

“It hurts!” Willy cried as he held his stomach

“Oh Willy I know I’m sorry it’s hurting so much.” Noodle said sympathetically as she rubbed his heaving back.

Willy was shaking from fever and how hard he was throwing up. Noodle rubbed his back and soon the puking stopped and Willy was trying to catch his breath.

“Good job Willy did that help at all?” Noodle asked as she grabbed a rag to wipe his face.

Willy coughed and whimpered. “It hurt Noodle.”

“I bet it does Willy.” Noodle said she reached over and slowly rubbed his stomach again. Willy sighed a little at her touch and moved his hand away so she could keep rubbing the areas that hurt him. The chocolatier whined when a cramp ripped through him and he was looking close to tears. Noodle tried to keep him settled not wanting him to work himself into a fit that would inevitably turn into him violently throwing up again.

Soon Willy needed the bathroom again and rushed off to use it. His stomach gurgling with each step he took. Noodle waited for him to finish in the bathroom and while she waited she took the water to add more to the cup. He had barely drank any but Noodle was determined to try to keep Willy hydrated.

Once he finally emerged from the bathroom. Noodle helped him take the medicine and water again. This time Willy drank most of the cup.

“Great Job Willy.” Noodle praised him as he took the medicine and water. She was relieved he was able to drink the water and get more meds into his system.

Willy nodded and coughed a little. He put the cup on the nightstand and stretched his aching body.

Willy sat down on his bed and groaned.

“Why do I hurt everywhere Noodle?” he asked weakly.

Noodle sat next to him and started rubbing his stomach which was still terribly bloated like a balloon.

“Your body is trying to feel better so you have to feel sick for a bit. Mom said that’s how it works. It’s trying to keep us healthy so our bodies fight off whatever is wrong by making us feel sick.” Noodle explained.

Willy thought for a moment and nodded. He coughed and Noodle took it as a sign that he needed another nap. She helped him get back under the covers and was going to refill his cup of water. When Willy’s hand grabbed her arm. Despite being as sick as he was. He still had a strong grip.

“Stay please Noodle?’ He whined. Willy squirmed in bed as his stomach gurgled again.

“It hurts.” he cried.

“Oh, Willy.” Noodle immediately put the cup aside and crawled into bed next to Willy. His fever had risen as he was sweating profusely.

“Willy it’s alright I’m here.” Noodle soothed. She went to work trying to help settle the poor man’s stomach. Willy curled up next to her crying softly against her until he fell asleep.

Noodle was sad. She hadn’t seen Willy so sick before. She had seen him sick a handful of times sure. But it was nothing like this. She hoped a few days of rest and eating better foods would help him.

Willy managed to rest for about two hours and when the medicine wore off. He was awake and sick all over again. Noodle helped him as much as she could and soon she managed to convince Willy to take a long warm bath.

He did and when he was done she helped Willy into fresh and clean pajamas and made sure he brushed his teeth and took more medicine and water before getting him back to bed.

After Willy was in bed and seemed settled. Noodle snuck away to feed herself and wash up. It had been a very long day and she knew she was in for an even longer night. But she knew Willy needed her. He had always been there for her. Now he needed her and she’d do anything to help him recover.

After a long tough few days Willy finally recovered. He thanked Noodle by bringing her the chocolate she was helping him make,

#wonka 2023 #willy wonka #sick willy wonka #sickfic #stomach flu #noodle caretaker #sick wonka #hurt/comfort #upset stomach #diarrhea #tw vomiit #tw scat #scat mention #diarrhea implied

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deniigi · 2 years

Text

Title: eucalyptus leaves

Summary: Maul ends up taking temporary custody of a teeny, tiny, de-aged Ezra. He does the best he can while causing minimal despair and suffering (as these upset the worm-child).

-----

There are...many types of human formula in this convenience station. Rows upon rows of them, set on shelves that reach even above Maul’s head.

He must have stood there staring for too long because a human woman clears her throat next to him and asks him how old his ‘little guy’ is.

Maul doesn’t know. Ezra offers no help here. He is preoccupied making unhappy snuffling sounds against Maul’s clavicle.

“I just met him,” Maul lies.

“Oh? An absent father no more? Glad you bit the bullet. Finally a guy with a sense of decency around here,” the human scoffs.

Maul blinks.

He bit no bullet?

It must be an idiom? Probably Corellian. Humans love Corellian idioms.

“Can I see?” the human asks.

No. Maul has taken charge of this little grub and the last thing he is doing is letting someone else witness its defenselessness.

“Aww, what a cutie. Look at those cheeks. Mama must be quite a looker. He doesn’t take after you, after all.”

This human elbows Maul in the ribs and winks at him. He realizes now that she thinks that Maul has bred with a human female and produced Ezra this way.

Ma’am, he is just trying to pick formula. He did not come here to become an object of fantasy.

“His mother has abruptly removed herself from the situation,” he lies. “I have no supplies and am unfamiliar with human needs.”

This woman puts a hand over her mouth.

“She left you?” she asks.

Maul supposes that nodding is the best way forward here.

“What’d you do?”

“It wouldn’t have worked out. She deserves better,” Maul says.

“Oh dear. Oh, you poor thing. Probably didn’t expect her to leave the baby, did you? And who could have?”

Yes, this tone sounds like sympathy. Good. Now Maul can—

“How many do you have? I mean of the little ones with the horns? You got a couple, don’t you?”

Even humans can read ‘breeder’ on Maul’s skin apparently. Terrible.

“Only relatives,” he says. “Humans are much more...fragile.”

“That they are, hon. Here, he looks to me like he’s four or five months. You want the blue-top; it’s for up to six months. This one—not that one, no that one gave my youngest nothing but pure diarrhea for weeks. This one. It’s worth the extra credits, believe you me.”

Maul does. He will purchase the cannister, thank you. Now—

“You’ll be needing some diapers for him, too, won’t you? Aisle four, hon. Just behind this one. They’re labeled by year and month. Same with the clothes; but I’m afraid there isn’t much selection.”

Humans are at least methodical in their efficiency. Maul must give them this small piece of praise.

“Thank you for your assistance,” he says, still holding the cannister.

“Think nothing of it. You just got your little marshall there safe, warm, and fed. Bye-bye, boo-bear. Bye-bye.”

Ezra coos at being spoken to. He flexes a wet fist against Maul’s collarbone.

The child is outfitted.

The child is fed. There is a device that humans have made with a rubber false-teat for this purpose and for all its ridiculousness, it serves its function exceedingly well.

Ezra’s presence in the Force grows content and warm as he is fed. His noisemaking takes on new garbled pitches and shapes. Finally, with enough energy to explore, he discovers the pin in Maul’s ear.

This is a mistake.

There is no longer a pin in Maul’s ear. He can’t remember ever having removed it since it was placed there, but that way, only pain lays.

“No,” he tells Ezra.

His orders go unheeded. Ezra wants to rub noses with him.

It is...endearing. Maul sighs—

--and catches the hand going for his horns. He bites it gently, and watches Ezra’s eyes blow wide at the feeling. An apology lick should soothe him, but instead inspires a torrent of high-pitched noise making and maggot-squirming.

It appears that Maul has hit upon several euphoric baby-texture-buttons entirely by accident. He tries to soothe the boy back to tranquility to no avail. There are now two hands desperately reaching for his horns. When one is captured, the other takes up the cause.

Maul ends up trapping both of them in a hand.

“No,” he says.

The biting is only encouragement. He’s going to have to start with reason and end with removal.

Ezra hiccups and begins a long, drawling sound. Maul rolls his eyes and releases the hands. They have forgotten their mission. Distress is upon them all.

Woe is the babe.

Woe is the babe for protection from self-maiming.

---

#darth maul #ezra bridger #ficlet #fic #this happened because I am waging a one-bitch-battle in the Darth Maul & Ezra Bridger tag on Ao3 to create content about them #that doesn't center on an abusive relationship there #I am desperate for Ezra and Maul being a weird master-apprentice pair #I am similarly desperate for Kanan to be constantly telling Ezra that maul is NOT his master #in any way shape or form so there will be no chatting no messaging no texting no voicemails no--

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