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myezblog · 2 years

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I don’t think Pete knows what Moaning is!

#he didn't know what happened in ep 7 #he didn't even moan in his case #those lips were tightly shut #he needs classes #sex education is important #just saying #lol this can really make for a funny AU where vegas is trying to teach #kinnporsche #kinnporche the series #kinn x porsche #kinn porsche #vegaspete #vegas x pete #pete x vegas #vegas pete

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olddirtybadfic · 1 year

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Level Nineteen and Pregnant: A Pokémon crackfic

For a change, here's a recent fic. Hopefully, it's not a badfic.

Of course, it contains blueshipping and mpreg. And TMI from Meowth.

-O-o-O-o-O-

James fidgeted on top of the toilet lid, but kept his eyes locked on the plastic stick in his hands. The suspense was worse than waiting for a blastoff. "Has it been a minute yet?"

Meowth checked the stopwatch. "Not even close." He glanced up at James. "Jimmy, don'tcha know a watched pee stick never turns?"

James's gaze never shifted. "That only applies to pots. Besides, I want to see the exact second the blue line appears."

Meowth scratched his head. "What difference does that make?"

James pushed his hair out of his eyes. "Maybe the speed at which it appears will indicate whether or not this test is even reliable." He sighed. "I really don't want to tell HQ's doctors about this."

Meowth reread the test's packaging. "It does say 'Ninety-nine percent more accurate than other brands.'" He blinked at the tagline. "Maybe I shoulda swiped some of those other brands."

James shook his head, as if to clear it. "The clerks would want to know what a Pokémon wanted with human pregnancy tests. We'll work with the one we've got." He hazarded a glance at the stopwatch. "Has it been a minute yet?"

Meowth checked and shook his head. "Thirty seconds left."

"What is taking you so long—oh." Jessie stopped short when she saw the box in Meowth's paws. "This certainly complicates our mission."

"Tell me something I don't know." James fidgeted again, then sat up straight. "It's changing! How much time is left?"

The beeping of the stopwatch was his answer. Meowth was on his shoulder in seconds. "What's it say?"

James squinted at the test's screen. "It's….half a blue line? That can't be right." He skimmed the instruction sheet. "Thin line, thick line, two lines, no lines—they say nothing about half-lines!"

Meowth examined the test. "Maybe this one's defective." He put the test down.

Jessie grabbed the test and examined it further. "I don't see any signs of damage. Are you sure you followed all the instructions?"

"Positive," James said. "I peed all over the blasted thing!"

Jessie dropped the test as fast as she'd picked it up. "If only Meowth were that thorough about Poké-protection."

"Hey! I double-bagged my meat," Meowth protested.

Jessie glared. "Mew damn it, Meowth! You're not supposed to use two condoms at once!"

"You're not?!" both Meowth and James asked, surprised.

"Not unless you want them to tear from rubbing together." Jessie gave an annoyed sigh. "This is why we need Sex Ed as part of Team Rocket training."

James squinted at the half line again—had it lengthened?— and asked, "So, Jess, could I be half-pregnant?"

Jessie only face-palmed. "Let me see those instructions."

While she read the instruction sheet, Meowth mused over his newfound knowledge. "Come to think of it, maybe I got the wrong kind." He looked up at Jessie. "Do they come in different sizes?"

"Of course," Jessie said. "Some pocket rockets blast off further than others."

"And some have a French tickler head," Meowth boasted. James gave a weak nervous laugh.

"Too much information, Meowth." Jessie continued to read through the instructions. "You dingbats, you're supposed to wait two minutes for it to work, not one!"

"Mew's Tongue," James swore before sliding off the toilet to vomit into it. Jessie went to hold his hair back.

"I guess we don't need that test anymore," Meowth said.

"He could just be nervous. Two minutes have probably passed by now. Go check the test," Jessie told him.

Meowth picked the test up and looked at the screen. The line had lengthened to reach the other end of the screen. "Well, there's the thick blue line."

Both Jessie and James's shoulders sagged. "Seriously?"

"As blue as James's hair."

James wiped his mouth. "It's lavender."

-O-o-O-o-O-

Blueshipping, why can't I quit you?

#team rocket james #fanfic #crack fic #team rocket meowth #james x meowth #team rocket jessie #blueshipping #fanfiction #mpreg #pokefic #pokemon fanfiction #sex education is important

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lilithism1848 · 8 months

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neptune-scythe · 2 months

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What if all the Crows were asexual 👀

Hear me out tho

Kaz and Inej: apothisexual, aka sex repulsed

Wylan: aceflux or graysexual meaning he fluctuates between what would be considered allosexual and asexual, or his attraction is somehow not what would typically be considered allosexual

Jesper: fraysexual meaning he's only attracted to people he doesn't know or have an emotional bond with (the opposite of demisexual)

Matthias: aegosexual, he likes the idea of it but doesn't actually feel the attraction or desires so likely won't do it

Nina: cupiosexual, similar to Matthias she likes the idea of it, but doesn't actually feel attracted to anyone in that way, tho she may still do it

Kuwei: lithosexual, he would only feel attracted to those who don't reciprocate those feelings

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

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thediamondarcher · 8 months

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I love how even tho Sex Education is a show centered in sexual/romantic relationships, it gives platonic love so much importance and i absolutely love is. As an aroace person, seeing friendships getting the same importance as relationships makes makes soooooo happy

#sex education #eric and otis/aimee and maeve/adam and ola are so important to me

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sleeping-satan · 2 years

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The United States has such a shitty education system so I'm sharing something that I just found out that really should be common health knowledge.

Apparently if you've ever had a cold sore, you have HSV-1, which is the herpes simplex virus. The virus stays in your body for your entire life. You can still pass it onto people when you do not have a current cold sore through things like sharing utensils, kissing, and oral sex.

67% of those under the age of 50 in global population have it.

HSV 1 is more commonly associated with cold sores on the mouth, but is also prevalent as a form of genital herpes. HSV 2 is the main herpes virus associated with genital herpes, but can also occur on the mouth (which actually seems to be less likely). HSV 2 is found in around 13% of the global population under the age of 50. If you're 51 WHO doesn't have stats for you because people past the age of 50 never have sex/s.

HSV 2 gives someone an increased risk of getting HIV. From research so far, HSV 1 doesn't seem to do that. Both can be inherently more dangerous to those with weakened immune systems.

Another main difference is that HSV 1 typically doesn't have as many flare ups and periods of viral shedding (being contagious).

There are antiviral meds that decrease the frequency of flare ups and that can make it less likely to pass on to another person, but there's nothing that completely stops it from spreading or acting up.

Its definitely information I would've liked to know earlier. Too bad all health class did was go "SEX BAD" without explaining that a majority of the population has herpes and how it can spread. Ultimately shaming people for not only having sex but taking a bite off someone else's fork.

#random shit #information #important info #hsv1 #hsv2 #herpes #health #health education #sex education #cold sores

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clarkgriffon · 2 years

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ULTIMATE SHIPS CHALLENGE - [1/5] ‘We could have had it all’ Ships ↳ “Why nerdy boys?” “Cause they think they’re in love with me, which feels amazing until they get clingy and want to show me all their things.” “I don’t think I’m in love with you.” “Sure, you don’t.”

#sex education #sexeducationedit #ruby matthews #otis milburn #otis x ruby #creations #ultimate ships challenge #so i did start watching the show because of gifsets of these 2 #but i quickly realized ruby wasn't going to become important for a long time #and then when i got to s3 i was like hm im not sure anymore #and then they made them.... so good #which i do appreciate because often when introducing a rival love interest shows don't try like At All #but ruby is so fleshed out and nuanced and they LET her be to the point that a good amount of people prefer this or like this as much as the #main ship of the show #which is just nice! like yes let ruby be a real character

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catgrandpa · 2 years

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Gym teacher/Music teacher Steddie au where they meet because Steve teaches sex ed and Eddie helps run the DARE program and they’re both supposed to teach that drugs and sex are never okay, but they both get in trouble for actually educating their students on how to be safe if anything ever happens.

#I’m sorry but comprehensive sex and drug education are very important to me #also imagine how much fun Eddie would have with those ‘drunk goggles’#the whore-> sex Ed teacher and partier-> drug educator pipeline is so real #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #shut up grandpa

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impossibleandinsufferable · 1 year

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when shadi describes falling in love as “the part when you can’t believe the person standing in front of you both exists and happened to wander into your life” and says she never saw january fall and january tells her that she’s wrong because “that’s how i felt when i found you” and when claire tells fleabag that “the only person i’d run through an airport for is you” and when cristina tells emma that she would feel different about parabatai if emma could have been hers and when aimee tells maeve “so i was thinking that maybe we could be each others’ mums” and when—

#no i DON’T think you get it #platonic love is so important to me #beach read #fleabag #the dark artifices #sex education

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beelzzzebub · 3 months

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hello i just wrote a poem and for some reason it feels important