the thing about dark and daisuke's willingness to help is that instead of ever giving up they just get increasingly desperate. like they'll go so far to deny impossibility (and/or their own helplessness) that sometimes they'll start acting outright delusional. this is obviously especially present with daisuke given he's the one with a far more childish/expressive personality, (cue dark's don't be stupid!! from these pages specifically) but i always think it's really touching that he's still the sort of person to constantly say 'no, let me stay, there has to be something i can do, there has to still something i can do for them, what can i do to help them?' no matter how hopeless things seem.

once again, the emperor is the funniest character in the world. "i am a selfish, manipulative fucking weirdo, but i'm gonna blame all of that on my nature, as per the stereotypes of my kind". like sorry to ruin your attempt at manipulation number five thousand sixty three, but i have a mindflayer friend i met in the underdark, and it is selfless, curious, and capable of fear and compassion. it's not that you're an illithid. it's that you're a piece of shit.

The power of emotional attachment - My Beautiful Man

This is going to be long, buckle up.

This might be a hard pill to swallow but hardly any lasting relationship can be entirely healthy.

Call it what you want but unexplainable attachment, shared past/trauma is what works to keep people together when rationality fails (and emotions aren't rational). Sometimes you stay together just because you're used to being around each other. Familiarity is comfort.

Sure, Hira is touched when Kiyoi steps in while he gets bullied but the unexplainable attachment is his attraction. Hira hated going to school since day 1. He stuttered like he dreaded on the first day of school & was ready to get bullied. Kiyoi walks in late with carefree strides & draws attention away from Hira much to his relief. He looked like everything Hira was not. Popular, confident.... Attractive. For the first time Hira is helplessly attracted to someone. Watching Kiyoi was an incentive to go to school. This helps Hira endure the bullying. Since he had decided Kiyoi is unattainable, loving him felt safe. There was distance, no fear of rejection, no shattered expectations. Hira subconsciously associates Kiyoi with his will to wake up & continue going to school, continue living daily life when he had no one to come home to.

Initially Kiyoi is weary of Hira's intentions. Hira gives off an impression of a weirdo, a sore loser, a stalker. Kiyoi softens gradually as Hira keeps his secret safe. For the first time someone wants nothing from him. Hira loving him from a distance seems so selfless that Kiyoi can't help but find it cute. So he subconsciously associates Hira with unconditional love & admiration. Kiyoi wanted to be a celebrity for the exact same reason - to witness the adoration he saw in Hira's eyes. Something he had in his own eyes for those on TV.

As time passes, Kiyoi sees the downside. Hira likes his imaginary version of King Kiyoi & not the attention starved Kiyoi. He is indeed a fanatic & his religion/God is Kiyoi the mere mortal. Kiyoi is torn between attachment & his need for acceptance at this point. He's heartbroken that Hira refuses to see through him. After all the drama that happens, these scenes are a turning point.

This is Kiyoi finally communicating his needs for once. He admits that he wants to melt into Hira's embrace only if Hira will NOT act like a devotee but as his boyfriend. Yes, Hira is selfish. He wants to feel safe so he decided it was goodbye after Kiyoi kissed him & said see you again. He chose to ignore the endearing tone of stalker. It's obvious even without context that Kiyoi meant "Yes you're gross & annoying. But I love putting up with you, Idk why. So please stay around me."

These Hira scenes with Hira as top are especially meaningful. It not only shatters the stereotype of the ruder character with heavier built topping, but also shows the true essence of the characters. (This is has nothing to do with who is more dominant/ submissive in the relationship!!) Kiyoi wanted to feel loved, cared for & pampered. And Hira wanted to do exactly that. To give Kiyoi the attention he craved for.

Hira pins Kiyoi down. It's like he's bringing him down from the pedestal he put him on. Hira is letting himself express his desires. As for Kiyoi, he's finally feeling safe being vulnerable with the one he yearned for. The ending is symbolic of a new beginning. It's 2 people choosing to put aside their perceptions of each other & start looking at the other as an equal. Look at each other beyond appearance & image.

This is Kiyoi accepting Hira. Notice how he never talked to Hira in public in the past? They barely talked even if they were together in isolation back in high school.

But now, he's clingy IN PUBLIC. It's Kiyoi saying "Yes Hira you are extremely gross to the point I question why I love you. But I love you regardless & I am willing to accept even your most disgusting form."

Hira can come across as a creepy stalker to others but he's Kiyoi's beloved stalker.

Webby Reviews Horror: Glorious (2022)

Glorious is a movie about the humanity in the divine, and the divinity in the human. It’s about the pain of heartbreak and the deep well of regret that flows from selfish choices. It’s about the selfless sacrifices given in the name of love.

It’s also about a rest stop bathroom with a glory hole in the stall.

Review under the cut, and of course, SPOILERS!

Glorious is a pretty short movie at a little over an hour and fifteen minutes, but it feels longer to me, due in part to the slow pacing in the first part and then the anticipation of the second. The payoff is worth it in the end, though, and I think the pacing gives the audience a better chance to really start to sympathize with and relate to our protagonist.

The first half introduces us to Wes, your sort of ‘standard’ movie protag. You know, the nearing middle age, average build white guy, brown hair, somewhat unkempt facial hair situation. Not exactly thinking outside the box, casting-wise. HOWEVER, I think in this particular instance, having him be the ‘Societal Default’ actually works in the story’s favor. That is, if they did it on purpose, of course. They want us, the audience, to really feel a connection to Wes, maybe even project onto him a little.

After all, who hasn’t felt the grief of a broken heart? The urge to call our ex’s phone even if only to hear their recorded voice telling us to leave a message? That’s what’s going on to begin with: Wes, an exhausted and miserable man, decides to pull into a rest stop so he stops falling asleep on the road. He’s Going Through It something fierce- he about loses it on a vending machine that denies him a candy bar (once again, who among us, etc) and he looks like hell. An enigmatic trucker gives him a hand and some advice, and on her way back to her truck, she stops and smiles at a strangely colored flower with goop on it, which gives me the impression that she has some kind of idea as to what’s about to go down; then she drives away. (Maybe not, but it’s never made clear, and I like the idea that she does.)

The next morning, Wes wakes up to a stomach full of regret and consequences- he chugged a lot of whisky last night and burned a lot of his stuff, including his pants. Listen, I get it, heartbreak and alcohol can really screw with what you think is a logical set of actions. He stumbles into the main stage of the story, the filthy men’s bathroom of an unattended, way out of the way rest stop. 

On the wall of this particular stall is a very creatively decorated glory hole which you can sort of see on the poster- it’s some kind of Lovecraftian beast that’s part monster, part humanoid, which is pretty representative of our story and our two main characters, the second of which we are introduced to once Wes has finished emptying the contents of his gut. 

 Is bathroom horror a genre yet? Between this and the first Saw, I’d say it should be. There’s something about the contrast of a familiar place being so grimy it’s revolting that works so well for horror. People who can articulate better than me could probably explain why, but I’m getting off track.

An unseen person in the adjacent stall, voiced by the very talented JK Simmons, strikes up a conversation with Wes, who is understandably a little skeeved out by this. His name is Ghatanothoa, and is pronounced in a fun way: stick out your tongue, hold the tip of it with your finger and thumb, and slowly say “Got another one”. 

Ghat is DELIGHTFUL to me. He doesn’t understand turns of phrase, he takes things very literally, and seems to have no concept of societal rules (such as getting chatty with strangers in a public bathroom). It’s what could be described as autistic-coded, though I can’t say for certain if that was the intent in his characterization, since it turns out he’s an ancient, lonely god, and hasn’t exactly spent much time in the company of mortals. 

Wes responds in a pretty expected way: he’s not in the mood for whatever this weirdo has going on, even if he is a little curious. He tries to look at Ghat even when warned not to gaze upon the god, for his mortal mind could not safely perceive his true form, and the resulting consequence is enough to chip away some of his skepticism. He remains stubborn, though, and tries to leave in whatever way he can think of despite being told it’s impossible. As I’ve said, Wes is a pretty relatable guy, almost too relatable in some ways. I believe this is intentional.

 Ghat gives us his origin story- his father, god of creation, accidentally gave life and form to some of his thoughts and went ‘oh no kill it’ as he much preferred the vast nothingness that he had before. The newly formed children fought back and spilled more life from within their father’s wounds, then came to a compromise. They’d stitch him back up as long as he allowed the new life to remain. But they were all of them deceived, for another life form was made, a god of destruction that would one day wipe out the universe so the great emptiness would return- Ghatanothoa. He is compared to the Christian God and Jesus a few times, though not blatantly so. Example: “I am he.”

Ghat is an ethereal caterpillar morphing into a corporeal butterfly, and when he finishes this process, he will, unwillingly, carry out the purpose he was given and destroy everything. He doesn’t want to do it; he feels connected to the world and its mortal inhabitants, and wants to return to the ether to protect them. And Wes has been chosen to help him do it. 

Wes gives the usual ‘everyone’s a shitty selfish person maybe we should all die’ cynicism, then gives us HIS origin story. His dad was a piece of shit who shrouded his cruelty in perceived selflessness, resulting in his wife’s suicide and a warped worldview in his son. This is probably our first hint to Wes’s secret.

No matter what Wes tries, he can’t escape, and getting someone else involved only results in the bathroom getting a fresh coat of red paint. There’s no way out of this except give Ghat what he needs or let the entire universe die. 

And what Ghat needs is for Wes to satisfy his physical form. He believes Wes can rise to the occasion and perform this great service for the good of all life.

The bait and switch of Ghat NOT wanting Wes to stick his dick in the glory hole is so god damn funny I almost choked the first time I watched this, pun intended. JK Simmons saying “You thought your human penis was going to save the universe?” lives in my head rent-free. Wes hyped himself up to do it for like three minutes of runtime which was probably over twenty in-universe or longer only to be told his genitals are of no significance. Absolutely incredible.

No, what Ghat wants is for Wes to willingly give him his liver, or at least part of it. Wes for some reason was more willing to give Ghat the D than he is about the liver. This is /hilarious/ to me. Wes is so offended by Ghat’s dick dismissal that it takes even more convincing to get him to agree, which he only does after Ghat takes the memory of Wes’s ex, Brenda, away. If everything is destroyed, then so is her memory, and that thought is enough to change Wes’s mind.

Wes takes the shard of glass from the mirror he’s provided, and makes the cut which is interrupted by one last joke (he almost cut into the wrong side. I probably would have, too.). He makes the sacrifice as Ghat’s father rends the world in pursuit of his child-weapon.

The bloody, noble sacrifice scene is spliced with the big reveal of Wes’s secret- he’s a serial killer. He’s been killing his girlfriends once he determines they don’t fill the emptiness inside of him, a void that’s implied to have been created by his abusive father. Brenda was his latest victim, and the only one he seems to regret, because she actually did make him feel something. The love he was feeling scared him so bad that he killed her anyway, her last expression one of betrayal and heartbreak as she’d discovered his trophy pictures of his past victims.

Ghat accepts the offering, and the total annihilation of the universe is prevented. Ghat’s father retreats and Ghat himself is returned to the ether, never to be a part of the world he loves. Wes, lying on the floor in agony, proudly declares himself a hero, but he’s wrong. Ghatanothoa tells him he was chosen for this not because he’s a hero who will be remembered, but because he, too, is a being of destruction, and it’s better for the universe that they will both be forgotten. “It is finished.”

Wes and Ghat are parallels of one another yet so opposite- Ghat was created to destroy, but he felt so much for others that he chose to return to the ether, never to interact with the world he loves in order to protect it. Wes, on the other hand, chose to become a murderer because of how little he felt for others, only making the sacrifice out of a selfish desire to have one more chance to see the face of the woman he killed for making him feel something at long last. Ghat, who was more human than Wes, and Wes, who was more of a god of destruction than Ghat, two beings who gave their lives and saved all of existence.

I mentioned a couple of times about it being intentional with Wes being this super-relatable, sort of ‘everyman’, the assumed societal default, and here’s why: Usually, the audience is supposed to identify with, sympathize with, and root for the protagonist, this isn’t a new concept. But when we spend over an hour doing this, especially to such a degree, it can really feel like the floor drops out from under us when we realize that this guy that’s just like us fr is a cold blooded murderer and has been the entire time.

Most horror ends one of two ways, right? The hero pulls through despite it all and we get some kind of relief or even hope that the evil is defeated. Or, despite it all, the evil prevails and will strike again, even if the hero survives. But in Glorious, there’s no real hero, and the evil is thwarted with no relief to be found, no satisfaction in the end. There’s just Wes, Ghat, and the quiet finality of their demise. The world will continue to spin as if nothing had ever happened, and as far as everyone else knows, nothing ever did.

Glorious leaves me feeling introspective and a little sad, as I really ended up liking Ghatanothoa, and seeing some of myself in Wes makes me a little uncomfortable (as it should). It’s a great twist on the chosen one trope, and the humor is well placed and doesn’t break the flow of the story. The beginning is a little slow, as I said before, but slow burn can really bring out the flavor of a good story, and this was a tasty meal for me. 

JK Simmons really steals the show as Ghatanothoa, selling me on both the more human aspects of his character as he talks about believing in the goodness inherent in humanity, and the underlying current of power he struggles to rein in as Wes tests his patience and time runs out. 

I wouldn’t call this one ‘scary’ necessarily, though the cosmic horror is absolutely present, and there’s some gore involved. I don’t subscribe to the idea that horror has to scare you to be considered horror, so while some don’t consider this a true horror movie, I do. 

Ten outta ten (holy?) ghosts for a story I greatly enjoyed, JK Simmons, and the bait and switch with the glory hole which I am STILL laughing about.

quick csm part 2 ramble ((i may have made this account just to post stuff like this));

i adore all the setup we've been getting in part 2 so far. it is a LOT and its great for weirdos like me to theorize (?) about what fjmt may do with all of this.

anyway. with all that we've seen so far (chapter 120) i believe i have some idea of what will happen in the future.

first of all. denji and asa are (i think) perfect parallels of each other that work flawlessly as a duo/pair. both of them being broken and traumatized teens that have been wronged by society in some way or another, and how differently they have approached their lives in response to that.

denji being a kid who's only really known love and care for a year or so, having lived ~16 years being abused by adults, and only truly experiencing what it is to love and be loved for a year. how his life became what he always wanted and so he became somewhat "selfish", getting to do everything he ever wanted (eat good food, sleep well, go out on dates) and all of it with a true family that loved and accepted him (power and aki), while his motivations were mostly to impress a woman who merely manipulated him and used him, as he felt the love one has for a mother for the first time with makima and she took advantage of that.

while being selfish, making friends and having the time of his life-- he ended up losing everything. his apartment, his family, reze, etc; all of it as makima's game. ultimately, his love for her was the answer to defeat her, and now he lives a life with nayuta; a kid who, if not for kishibe and denji himself, would spend her childhood just like denji did, being used by men with power and turning into another makima.

that's why he now cares so much about nayuta and what she wants. he wants to give his all so that she may be happy, he wants to stop being selfish and give to others what people like aki gave to him. he's learning how to be selfless, even if not in the best methods.

in the other hand, asa always had her parents with her until recently. she *was* loved by them, and even though she was awkward in school, she could manage! until they both died, her mom passing ""because"" of her own fault. since then, we can guess and see how asa's life went downhill, as she lost the people that most cared about her, and was left alone in the world. everything was shittier and shittier, until the moment she fucking died. she died without truly living life, and so, when she was "reborn", she decided she would live life more selfishly. take the chance to make her own life right and stop it from being the painful and guilty bore it always was, even with yoru in the way to fuck her up even more.

what im trying to get to is;

i believe csm part 2 is going to be about balance. both denji and asa have a goal, consciously or subconsciously, of living for themselves (asa) or for others (denji). i believe the path of only choosing to go for one of the two is ultimately harmful, leaving asa more and more alone and paranoid and denji turning into a bad guardian for nayuta, giving her everything she ever wants and worsening her perspective on denji and her own powers and how to use them, making her a potential threat for others as she won't hesitate to use her control for her own gain (wiping someone's mind or turning them into a damn dog is too much!!)

i believe that once they both realize the problems in their ways, theyll slowly learn from one another as they endure through shit together. asa will slowly pick up more selflessness and care for others, and denji will re-learn to be more selfish in a moderate way that isn't harmful, probably turning more and more like aki (😣). and so, they will achieve a balance where they can finally care about others AND themselves without harm coming to anyone in the process.

im REALLY excited to see how everything goes down in part 2, and how much they change as characters for the future of csm. fuji please dont kill them

i know this is stupid and obvious but i just wanted to word my feelings on this 😊 lmao i love this manga

(I think it's a word over 500, but:)

"Speaking of Tsukishiro, how's he doing?", Eriol asks. Frying pan to fire to volcano.

"He's good," Touya says quickly, before Sakura can say anything. Yukito is not even in the ballpark of "good". Yesterday he called Touya and begged him to bike over and said it was important and when Touya showed up he was asleep, and stayed fast asleep right through to the next morning. He keeps trying to make appointments with doctors, and then falling asleep before he can call, or, when Touya calls for him, before he can make it out the door. Privately, Touya isn't sure how much good a doctor can do for him, but anything has to be better than this, right?

"Really? I'm glad to hear it." Ugh, how much has Sakura told him. Not that she doesn't have a right to talk to her friends, but, come on, would it kill her to least keep it between her and Tomoyo and the funny looking cat.

He's good, that's an obvious lie. Ruby has said Yukito could barely stand upright at school. Every inch of Touya Kinomoto is packed full of magic. Sooner or later, Eriol figures, either Sakura will be powerful enough to sustain him, or Yue will have to get over himself and just eat already. Touya can't actually do anything with his magic, so it's not like Yue, even weak as he is, will have to face much of a struggle to take it. (Aside from competition with Ruby, of course. There's something to that, right, articles and studies about animals being healthier if they need a bit of careful planning to get their food? Yes, so this works out nicely.)

Or maybe- oh, that's probably it. Yue's on to him, isn't he? He's just being stubborn as usual, figuring sooner or later Clow will appear via Eriol and save him. He can imagine how surprised, overjoyed, grateful Yue would be, if Eriol showed up and saved his life. He can imagine Yue's head resting on his neck as clearly as if he had kept Yue well-fed with magic a thousand times in his lifetime. It would be nice, in the short run, but it wouldn't be right, no. Clow is dead, and Yue needs to learn to live with that. If he knows what's good for him, he will take responsibility for his own life, and if he doesn't...

Ahh, well, maybe it's Clow's old sentimentality, maybe Eriol is just warming up to Sakura's moon guardian all on his own, but he can't bring himself around to the idea of letting Yue just die. He'd save him, if it came down to it. But, he tells himself sternly, only as an absolute last resort. He's just worrying because he misses Yue and wants to get to know him better all at once in that past-and-future way- it's worth a visit, soon. Yes, a nice little visit, and Yue will never even have to know it happened. Just to check in.

(sorry the formatting got weird when i copypasted lol!)

hiiii thanks for the ask!!!

if we talk about this convo we need to back up and talk about how it got here. this should give you some idea of how badly this needs to be under a cut for length lol.

so it all starts with the bit about how someone falling and being caught is something that happens a lot in ccs. how with eriol, it's purposeful, and with fujitaka (and i misremembered it but since found out she fell *on* him and not *caught* by him, which lolol i hope he broke a bone, but also its fine the fic's already marked canon divergent, or maybe the story gets misremembered, whatever, in any case), it's an echo of clowriol's intentional artificial-trustbuild-dangersaves but without the magic or purpose to back it up (just like fujitaka himself!), but it's a situation he quickly makes favorable to him, because it may be a blank slate but it's made of the same material.

this whole convo was part of one of the very first chunks written, but everything was going to go in a very different direction at first. (there's a lot of Cut Content from this fic, some that i just didn't like, some that wasn't connectable with the rest of the fic after it took the shape it took but might pop up somewhere else one day idk). in this particular bit i cut the later half of the conversation because i really didn't like what i'd written, but then even though the direction of the story changed the conversation was still going so it had to bounce somewhere else, so it bounced to yukito. here we are answering your ask 2 paragraphs in!

yukito, iirc in the anime, did catch her from a fall, (in the manga, which made way more sense for why she had to change her clothes and rest so much, he saved her from drowning, again iirc because who can trust a memory) and at a point where eriol still has some investment in making yuekito/sakura (ewwwww) happen, he's going to try and draw on that symbolism to nudge her in that direction, right?

so all this said, SPEAKING of yuekito. how are they doing.

bad, obviously. touya's freaking out. i imagine that part of what's stopping yukito from seeing a doctor is yue, though- he knows it wont help, and i dont think yukito has, like, person insides that will stand up to medical tests, and yue would pick up on yukito like, not wanting to be outed to the doctor as a magic construct because he, like, doesnt actually have a real heart that pulses, just a repeating heartbeat sound. doesn't for real have blood etc to test, just records of blood type (for personality reasons).

and also touya's a very like keep-ur-problems-not-everybodys-business type so hes like imagining sakura venting her fears to this weirdo and getting pissed off. but that didnt actually happen, eriol knew all on his own lolol. touya you have to say something nice should happen to sakura to make up for wrongly suspecting her now

and this bit on eriol's end is all wrong information and inaccurate conclusions and i was really worried ppl would take it at face value but i hope nobody did. in ccs we get moments where eriol wants sakura to take power, or to learn that power can be taken- his final battle with her, for example, where the answer to his light and dark puzzle is to use kero and yue's power, except that's not something she would ever Want to do or would even Occur to her to try. the power is gifted to her by kero and yue (and syaoran!) because they love her.

same concept, here- the answer to the 'yue is dying' puzzle is to eat touya's power, and he can't imagine the real reason why he won't just do that, and when he thinks about it too long it goes right to his ego- yue looovvvvesss clow, and by extension me. he wants meeeeeee to save him. he wants to neck kissy MY magic soo sooooo bad. but yue isn't considering any of that at all. he's thinking about yukito and what touya means to yukito and why that would make yukito hesitate to reach out, and that no way in hell will he just ambush his other self's crush down a dark alley and take his magic, even to save both their lives. he's a lot more selfless than clow and eriol ever realize. maybe- this is just a half formed thought right now, i dont know if im like certain about it, but- maybe they feel his devotion to clow was a form of selfishness, that he Wanted Love as a thing he could hold and own, whereas pretty much everybody else who meets him goes like YOU SELFLESS MAN YOU CANT JUST DIE FOR PPL YOU CARE ABOUT YOU GOTTA TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOOOO

and there’s also that bit of teacherliness intrinsic to the three of them again: im doing this to teach him a lesson. im letting ruby do her thing without telling her what’s going on to help and encourage yue, etc.

anyway, that (in terms of fic weaving itself into canon) solidifies his decision to do uhmmmm a thing that creeps me out real bad in the anime (knocking yue out to have a moment with him, and oh, ding, there's another 'you fell but i caught you' moment!). eriol loves this manner of hanging out with people, you see it later in this fic, even:

It's important to say what's in your heart to the people you want to say it to, even if you have to make sure the other person never hears it. It's important for your own emotional freedom.

he loves to spend time with people exclusively on his terms, to the point where the other party never even knew he was there, because he knocked them out, or because he was just staring creepily at the outside of sakura's house while she did homework, etc etc etc.

tldr: it's all connected, aaaaaaaaa

Do you think Mabel gets too much hate? I noticed when a female character acts selfish she gets hated on but when a male character does the same it’s praised

We’re free to love or hate any character with or without reason. That said, I feel sad seeing Mabel hate and agree Mabel receives too much hate. I feel like the rhetoric claiming she’s unforgivably selfish is skewed. I think people have decent criticisms regarding Mabel’s character and how she’s presented. However, I don’t think they sufficiently describe the full picture.

Anecdotally, I don’t think this is a case of sweeping sexism because Ford also receives more criticism than I think warranted. My perspective on how much hate each character proportionately receives could be incomplete, though.

But anyway. Let’s talk Mabel.

First though: please don’t try to debate this with me. If you don’t like my opinion, no worries. That’s chill. I’m just not interested in using my recreation time debating this. Thanks! :) However, if you want further clarifications, analyses, case studies, etc. I’m happy to talk more, because this is NOWHERE close to exhausting my thoughts on this topic.

Mabel’s Selfishness: The General Critique

I think everyday anti-Mabel criticism tends to use points like:

When other characters act selfishly, they’re called out and the narrative punishes them. But when Mabel wants something, she gets it, and it’s a reward (The Deep End, The Time Traveler’s Pig, Escape from Reality).

Mabel never learns how to give up something important and deal with that loss. Even when she lets something go, it’s not something that would have been good in her life. For instance, her failed puppet performance is “dodging a bullet” rather than losing something meaningful, since Gabe’s just a puppet kisser. In the end, she doesn’t have to live with sacrifice (Boyz Crazy, Sock Opera).

Mabel even selfishly causes the apocalypse by giving Bill the rift. She’s never held responsible for that (Dipper and Mabel vs the Future).

The narrative reinforces that Mabel is a good person even when she’s not (The Last Mabelcorn).

People particularly look at Mabel in S2 over S1; many claim that’s when her character began to feel selfish and insufferable. 

This isn’t everything, but I have tried to characterize the rhetoric fairly based upon what I’ve seen.

I find these discussion points understandable. Mabel can be self-focused and sometimes ignores others’ feelings. Alex Hirsch admitted in DVD commentaries that he focused on Dipper learning lessons because he put himself in Dipper’s shoes. And some of Alex’s writing intentions could’ve been clearer, like instances where the twins resolve conflicting desires. We could talk about how the show could be improved or the character is legitimately not-selfless.

At the same time, I think how fandom uses these talking points isn’t 100% fair to Mabel’s character or the show’s full narrative. 

I want to point out that Mabel hate for her selfishness covers two fronts: one claim that Mabel is selfish, and another claim that the surrounding plot doesn’t handle her selfishness satisfactorily. I think there’s fair constructive criticism when it comes to narrative framing (even if I disagree), but I don’t think the same dialogue is good rationale against Mabel’s personality. At times I see the two concepts conflated. The narrative may annoy you if you think selfishness isn’t addressed in plot, and contribute to you disliking the character, but claiming “Mabel is selfish” because of that is flawed logic. 

In this analysis, I’ll cover both fronts. I’ll tackle the four points I mentioned above and explain why I find them too harsh. I’m not going to cover all my thoughts (yes, my original draft was longer!!), but I will argue:

Mabel reverses her selfishness - and that’s the big choice sealing the climax of multiple episodes. She doesn’t get off “consequence free” either (Boyz Crazy, Sock Opera)

Mabel sacrifices for others. The narrative does show that Dipper and Mabel meet in the middle, not that Dipper feels guilty enough to ameliorate his sister’s wishes (Sock Opera, Escape from Reality)

Mabel giving the rift to “Blendin” mirrors Dipper offering a puppet to Bill. Both twins are emotionally compromised and believe they’re making a harmless deal with an inconsequential item. Neither would’ve made these choices in calmer circumstances. Sock Opera doesn’t have Dipper deal with his culpability; relax up on Mabel (Sock Opera, Dipper and Mabel vs the Future)

Mabel’s selfishness is addressed, handled, and resolved. The moral of The Last Mabelcorn isn’t defending Mabel’s goodness; it’s Mabel embracing imperfection. Mabel learns she’s a bad person and changes her perspective of herself multiple times in canon (The Last Mabelcorn, Lost Legends)

I could also have talked about how selfishness isn’t required to be resolved in her character arc, all the times Mabel does nice things for others, how she doesn’t always obnoxiously hog the spotlight, and other things, but I want to cap the length of this essay.

So let’s begin.

Can Mabel learn from selfishness if she’s consequence-free and never handles meaningful loss?

Anti-Mabel Argument: Circumstances don’t adversely affect Mabel. This means she never has to sacrifice for her brother like Dipper does for her. For instance, in Sock Opera, Mabel sees that Gabe is a weirdo over-obsessed with puppets. Her failed puppet performance was “dodging a bullet” rather than losing something meaningful, so she doesn’t learn true self-sacrificial love. Mabel never learns how to give something important up and deal without it. So, she never changes.

Boyz Crazy not only is an episode where the climax is Mabel learning to act against her selfish desires, but it’s got an explicit apology in dialogue. “I’m sorry I went bonkers,” she tells Candy and Grenda. “A catchy song made me realize that you were right. Can you ever forgive me?”

While Mabel has to learn this lesson again in later episodes, it’s to note: most GF characters are fairly static, and Dipper also has to learn multiple times not to hit on Wendy. Character progress doesn’t happen all at once. And in the next episode I’ll talk about, not only does Mabel confront her selfishness, but it’s the last time she lets her boy chasing impact Dipper. It ends after this.

I’m talking Sock Opera.

Mabel’s sacrifice in Sock Opera is big. She doesn’t get off “consequence free.” She decides to sabotage her performance before knowing Gabe’s a weirdo. Mabel is fully willing to lose her most viable romance option… for Dipper. She realizes her brother would be willing to give something up for her, and she’s going to reciprocate by giving up something big for him. 

Mabel might’ve dodged the bullet of dating Gabe, but she still gives up something big and will feel it. Sure, she makes the puppet show to impress Gabe. But she’s also entertaining a full audience. She can feel the people booing her, see them storming out and leaving. Mabel is someone who wants everyone happy, so much that seeing everyone happy except Robbie puts her in Crisis Mode. I don’t know about you, but just because I saw some guy kissing puppets, I wouldn’t think, “Yay! I had a happy outcome to this play ordeal!”

Mabel VERY much says, in the dialogue, that her brother would give up something big for her. And that’s what her Big Choice comes down to. Every episode climax in Gravity Falls comes down to The Big Choice. Here, Mabel’s Big Choice… is to sacrificially watch her hard work burst into literal flames.

Mabel apologizes to her brother, “I’m sorry, Dipper. I spent all week obsessing over a dumb guy. But the dumb guy I should have cared about was you.”

In following episodes, Mabel does put Dipper in mind. She gets momentarily distracted by crushes in The Love God, but that’s in a quest to solve her own mistake - a mistake that came from trying to make everyone, from Robbie to Thompson to Dipper, happy. She wants to include Dipper, from the Ducktective finale to her birthday party planning mission. And if you’re focusing on how she teases Dipper, why aren’t you also targeting Stan, who makes the same action without change?

Mabel Hate rhetoric focuses on how Bill was “right” in Sock Opera and she still acts selfishly in the same patterns after that episode. But, the climax is Mabel resisting Bill and demonstrating self-sacrifice, and that arguably does influence her character afterwards. It’s one step in an incomplete process. She might not be ready to handle Dipper separating off with Ford, but that’s because her arc still isn’t completed.

We do see Mabel dealing with meaningful loss like the collapse of her puppet show. She does show sacrificial love for her brother. And, as I’ll talk about more, she continues to grapple with and grow in selflessness through later decisions like Escape Through Reality.

Does Mabel ever realize she’s a bad person?

Anti-Mabel Argument: Narrative reinforces Mabel is a good person even when she’s not. Alex Hirsch wrote with rose-tinted bias because Mabel represents Alex’s twin sister. The Last Mabelcorn showcases that. Instead of Mabel learning she’s a bad person who can’t receive a unicorn’s blessing… the unicorn’s criticisms against Mabel get nullified – the creature’s lying about Mabel’s impure heart. Mabel got affirmed for who she was rather than dealing with her imperfection.

First off: if you haven’t watched the DVD commentary for The Last Mabelcorn, you should. It’s a wild story how this episode got made. Alex Hirsch trashed the script of an entire episode 48 hours before it was due. He crunched to write a new episode - by himself - from scratch. So yeah. A few lines of final dialogue could’ve been tweaked to improve the message, but the fact he wrote as successful an episode as he did in that short of time is incredible. And the message of The Last Mabelcorn is there:

Mabel learns she’s an *IMPERFECT* person. She embraces being imperfect instead of groveling for impossible perfection and meaningless approval.

Maybe that’s not the “Mabel learns selflessness!” episode you wanted, but this is a fascinating lesson, and one I don’t see touted tons in media. I love it.

Mabel spends the episode attempting to be pure of heart through kind deeds. Wendy tells Mabel they should solve their problem the dirty way. Mabel keeps refusing until the unicorns anger her. This is the moment of triumph: she punches a unicorn. Mabel forsakes the route of “pure” good deeds to do what she first considered dirty. That’s the hero moment, dudes! 

Mabel says the unicorns are “worse” than her, not that she’s good and they’re bad. Mabel comes out of the adventure declaring, “Today I learned morality is relative.” That’s because the episode’s climactic Big Choice isn’t about Mabel accepting she’s a “pure” person; it’s about Mabel accepting she can make “impure” choices.

Ford is the person at the end who tries to tell Mabel she’s good. But Mabel contradicts what he says with that “morality is relative” quote. What she takes away is that she’s imperfect, she can make non-sparkly-decisions, and that’s okay. She’s become more aware of herself and her flaws, but also accepts she can make choices others might shake their heads at. 

So. Ford and Wendy might’ve called Mabel “a good person” in key parts of the episode, which is why I say Alex (not in a time crunch) could’ve considered tweaking lines to make the point clearer. But I don’t think the episode depicts Mabel as a selfish jerk who never learns her flaws.

And frankly? If I had to choose between a standard “you’re not perfect” episode and this? I’d MUCH rather have this, where characters learn lessons, but we also get the show’s humorous, slightly subversive, slightly truthful “anti-morality.” That’s a Gravity Falls thing, after all. (For other anti-morality examples: Stan saying Summerween is about celebrating “pure evil,” Mabel deciding it’s good to lie so Stan doesn’t get arrested, Mabel deciding being an asshole to employees is productive, etc.)

So yes, Mabel realizes she’s a bad person, even if it’s not in the way you expected. And that’s still not the end of her character arc. 

Does Mabel ever sacrifice for others Dipper?

Argument: Mabel only agrees to leave her bubble after Dipper promises to drop Ford’s apprenticeship. This apprenticeship would have been huge for Dipper. But all Mabel “sacrifices” is leaving a fake world she’s hiding in, goofing around instead of helping people in literal Armageddon. 

Much of Mabel and Dipper’s relationship is about how they’re opposites. We repeatedly see the best place for both of them is the middle. Alex Hirsch talks about this tons. Whether it’s perfectly implemented is a debate for another day. I do think these concepts can be seen even in episodes like Escape From Reality where there’s been criticism of narrative execution.

I’ve seen people say Mabel “gets her way” because Dipper turns down Ford’s apprenticeship when he sees it makes her sad. Hirsch has said in commentaries Dipper was making a mistake wanting the apprenticeship. Mabel wants to avoid growing up while Dipper wants to grow up too fast.

We don’t have to take Hirsch’s word-of-god for it: the story does show that Dipper was erring with the apprenticeship. Ford intends well, but his bias against siblinghood means he’s polluting Dipper’s values. He suggests that Dipper staying with Mabel is “suffocating.” He suggests that Dipper is “greater” and should be doing something with it. “Dipper, can you honestly tell me you never felt like you were meant for something more?” And later: “Listen to me, Dipper: this town is a magnet for things that are special. And that includes you and me. It brought both of us here for a purpose! Stay here with me, Dipper. Become my apprentice. Don’t let anyone hold you [back].”

When Mabel and Dipper make resolutions in Mabel Land, Dipper says he’ll drop the apprenticeship. This emotionally touches Mabel. But being emotionally touched doesn’t mean that’s WHY she makes amends with her brother. Instead, Mabel reassures him that he can take the apprenticeship if he wants. She leaves the choice up to him and is willing to let him live in another state during their teen years. She finds his needs and desires important.

And honestly? It’s Dipper himself who realizes the apprenticeship is bogus; it’s not because Mabel is forcing her brother to change. “Mabel, I thought you were living a fantasy, but look at me! I actually thought I was gonna stay here and be Ford’s apprentice. Spend my entire teens cooped up in a basement with a lab coat? How ridiculous is that?” He sheds the idea because he realizes it’s a bad one, not because he’s ameliorating someone too selfish to accept her brother leaving her.

It’s also to note Mabel Land tempts everyone. Calling only Mabel selfish when everyone else gets pulled in… seems incorrect. Bill considers it a diabolical, inescapable prison. People like Soos, Wendy, and Dipper who know it’s a prison get drawn to Mabel Land’s temptations. Heck, Dipper gets tempted with an old vice. He might have grown more mature, but that doesn’t mean he can’t trip occasionally (we can apply the same understanding to Mabel and “selfishness,” by the way - someone can both grow and keep tripping). Mabel, meanwhile, wants to use the bubble to help and comfort her visiting friends (which is, for the record, not selfish) and thinks reality should be avoided because both her and Dipper’s lives have been adversely affected. Dipper’s pain is important, too. Mabel has been in this prison longer than Soos, Wendy, and Dipper, and the prison was designed for her - ergo she’s going to be more manipulated by it. Lots of her actions are avoidance tactics because she’s scared of growing up, yes. The court trial is a lot, yes. But we should bear in mind that this is a child scared of growing up and feeling the burn of conflict with her brother. Emotional and psychological context is important. We all get vulnerable. Do our lowest lows define our entire personality?

When Dipper and Mabel make their compromise, both reject temptations. Dipper rejects a bad apprenticeship; Mabel rejects a bad reality. They offer each other solutions where they don’t get what they originally want. They meet in the middle, and this is the best way for both to move forward in the aging process. They’re both satisfied and confident with their choice. It’s not Dipper giving up everything for Mabel, ameliorating her because she’s sad. It’s about the twins learning they can make it through life together, through thick and thin.

Potentially muddled thematic framing does not erase the resolution the twins make. It does not erase that Mabel’s depicted as someone willing to give up major things for her brother.

Okay. But that rift thing. How can you excuse the APOCALYPSE??? JUST TO HAVE MORE SUMMER!?!

The point is that Mabel is emotionally compromised and outmanipulated.

She’s a terrified twelve year old going through a Very Rough Day. She’s terrified about the future, she’s learned bad news after bad news, and she’s afraid her life as she knows it will be wrenched apart. It feels like everything she loves - from her best friends to her brother - will be distanced from her. 

Would you have handled this well as a kid? Adults have issues with this, too.

When she meets “Blendin,” she’s told that trading one inconsequential item will save her future. It’s self-focused, but it’s important to understand: she wouldn’t have made this choice in calmer emotional states.

Compare this to Dipper making a deal with Bill in Sock Opera. The twins literally make the same mistake for the same reasons, duped by the same villain.

Dipper: Decides to give Bill one of Mabel’s belongings, a puppet, without her knowledge. Mabel: Decides to give Bill one of Dipper’s backpack items without his knowledge. 

Dipper: Irritated with Mabel because she isn’t helping unlock the laptop.Mabel: Frustrated with Dipper because it feels like he’s abandoning her to be “special” with Ford. 

Dipper: This is an inconsequential bargain. Bill is just unlocking the laptop. He’s just taking a sock puppet - Mabel has plenty of those.Mabel: Nothing bad will happen. Just a few more weeks of summer. And she’s giving an item Ford allegedly won’t notice is missing.

Dipper: The laptop counter is ticking. Only a matter of minutes before the data gets erased.Mabel: Summer is ending in a week. Separation from Dipper is imminent. 

Dipper: Not thinking clearly due to sleep deprivation.Mabel: Not thinking clearly, emotionally compromised from a walloping bad day.

Hirsch and company have confirmed that only this combination of factors convinced Dipper to make a deal with a demon. Mabel wouldn’t have shook “Blendin’s” hand in less severe circumstances. It’s ironic that, in Sock Opera and Dipper and Mabel vs the Future, rhetoric attacks Mabel in both episodes.

So yes, Mabel gave Bill the rift. But yes, Dipper jeopardized the town’s safety by letting Bill into his body.

I know that, at this point, people might argue there’s a narrative difference. Dipper learned from his mistake but Mabel didn’t. However, I disagree. There wasn’t dialogue in Sock Opera where Dipper explicitly confronts his transgression and works it out with Mabel on screen. Same thing with Mabel and the rift. I know fans wanted it addressed that Mabel started the apocalypse… and frankly I would’ve enjoyed that too… but it doesn’t make Mabel’s writing as a character suddenly, “OH NO SELFISH SELFISH! AND THE NARRATIVE IS LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH BEING SELFISH!”

It’s no different than how writing handles Dipper in Sock Opera. And again, give a terrified kid a break instead of calling a large emotional low “irrevocably selfish.”

By the time Take Back the Falls comes around, Mabel encourages everyone to work together to fight Bill. Mabel risks her life to save the town and her family. Mabel works together with Dipper and puts the people she loves first.

Lost Legends: Fixing remaining narrative holes

After S2 ended, Mabel’s selfishness is head on tackled. That’s the ENTIRE point of Don’t Dimension It in Lost Legends. I suspect Alex Hirsch read Mabel criticism and intentionally reacted through Lost Legends. In this story, Mabel acts out of self-focused energy and doesn’t realize her actions have negative consequences to others. It puts the Pines family in an interdimensional conundrum. Once Mabel runs into other Mabels from other dimensions, she comes to terms that she’s self-absorbed and needs to be attuned to how others feel. Mabel realizes she put everyone in this mess. She apologizes to her family and resolves to be better.

It’s great.

I’ve still seen people criticize it. And that’s where I think Mabel hate rhetoric definitely goes too far. I suspect there’s bias in how people responded to that comic. By the time Lost Legends came out, criticisms for selfish Mabel were rampant and people were set in their perspectives, so seeing a character arc about Mabel’s selfishness got unfairly nitpicky responses. 

I’ve seen people say things like, “Well, she only learns when she interacts with herself, not with others!” But that’s a cool way of presenting story! Mabel sees herself in a literal mirror and takes away truth. Sometimes we don’t see our flaws until it’s right in our faces. This is Mabel’s in-the-face moment. The “I’m selfish” revelation doesn’t have to be with Dipper to be relevant toward how she treats Dipper. She takes away the full lesson she’s self-absorbed and needs to fix that. She immediately makes sure to talk to Dipper about becoming a better person. She owns responsibility toward how she’s treated her brother - and mentions the entire summer as the scope of her fault.

“I’m sorry for being selfish this summer,” the comic ends. “I guess it took me dealing with myself to realize what you put up with. It’s time for us to start some new adventures! And this time I won’t always hog the spotlight.”

There are other criticisms about Lost Legends, which I feel boil down to “I don’t know, still doesn’t satisfy me, not enough.” It makes me wonder what would get people satisfied. Does every possible angle of how someone could learn selfishness have to be covered thoroughly? No franchise can cover that scope. Isn’t there still lots of takeaway with Mabel? Don’t Dimension It alone is an episode’s worth of material, the same amount of content which most fans deemed enough to wrap up Dipper getting over Wendy, Pacifica being a brat, and Gideon being creepy on Mabel.

Mabel’s selfishness gets addressed, multiple times, and gets a final-final resolution in the comics.

Final Thoughts

I think it’s an interesting point you make, anon friend, that male characters get praised while women get condemned. I haven’t talked about gender aspects or other selfishly-acting male characters like Stanley (whose selfishness people perceive as lovable). I said earlier I don’t think it’s rampant fandom sexism, but there still could be a point there. Maybe you’re right it’s a factor. It wouldn’t be the first time gender perception’s done that.

I think there’s also point to be made that Dipper is the protagonist. Mabel’s a deuteragonist. It’s more common to write life lessons for the protagonist. That’s fine. Dipper learning more lessons than Mabel and Dipper giving up a little more than Mabel is a result of being a protagonist, not narrative excusing Mabel for her flaws or letting her waltz around scott free.

So yeah. I think Mabel’s gotten too much criticism for that flaw. Constructive criticism is almost always interesting in fandom dialogue, but rampant hate movements make me sad. Talking about how narrative structure could’ve been improved I find cool; pinning it on the character’s humanity bothers me. I think lots of the dialogue turns into criticizing Mabel unfairly as a person, and given as other GF characters have glaring flaws, it feels imbalanced and uncomfortable that SHE gets disproportionate attacks. 

This is Mabel we’re talking about. Mabel Pines, who’s SO selfish she tries to rescue Mermando when that means she’ll never see him again. Mabel Pines, who’s SO selfish she knits everyone sweaters during the Apocalypse. Mabel Pines, who’s SO selfish she calls out Dipper when he’s leading on Candy. Mabel Pines, who risks her life in multiple daring moves to save the town, parachuting through the sky into the demon’s lair… acting as a decoy to distract Bill Cipher… and more. Mabel Pines, who spends an entire episode trying to make everyone happy, down to Robbie, whom everyone else didn’t care enough about (but Mabel did!!!). Mabel Pines, who encourages Soos to date women and find a romantic connection he’s satisfied with. Mabel Pines, who fights in Globnar and risks her life, just so Soos can have a happy birthday and forget about his dad. Mabel Pines, who decides it’s better to be friends with her enemy Pacifica than fight petty battles. Mabel Pines, whose love for her brother helps even the thirty year rift between Stan and Ford mend. Mabel, who couldn’t give up on Stan and found a way to restore his memories when all others thought it lost. Mabel. Fucking. Pines!

What I Think About the Signs

These are based off people’s sun signs i know irl (I’m obviously going to have my biases considering I have an air dominant chart yeet)

Aries: One of my best friends is an Aries! I LOVE HER TO DEATH. YALL ARE FUCKING CRAZY & I LOVE IT. but anyway Aries being stereotyped to being passionate is actually real. There’s just something about the way they talk about something/someone they like that just makes u want to listen to them ramble. They’re also really good peptalkers and make u feel good about yourself. They make u feel special too when ur being insecure/ laying out ur problems to them ! They can be a little upfront about how they feel/want (ofc depending on other aspects of their chart BUT) they do that to make things work. Having arguments with them can really be awkward for signs that don’t like confrontation/argument in general but they don’t hold on to that anger for long which is something I really really admire about this sign. Keep that fire going, Aries 😩🔥🔥

Taurus: One of the signs I have a love-hate relationship with. These signs can either be reallyyyyyyy toxic bc of how stubborn they are or they can be the sweetest/most gentle people you’ll meet. For some tauruses with a little extra stubborness in their chart are really (at least for me) HARD to get along with. As a Libra, I really do try to understand where people come from so I guess that’s where I get all this patience to make sure no one is left unheard and I also really value my friendships too. Let me tell you it takes a LOT a LOT for me to hate someone but when I do it’s probably with good reasons and this sign gave me those exact reasons to hate someone :( BUT for the ones I’ve gotten along with they’re really good with their hands ! Be it cooking or painting you name it ! They have really good aesthetics too so if you’re an art/fashion hoe these people are your go-to for some advice. They’re also really into a lot of volunteer work be it for charity or just helping the community or their loved ones. Most of Taurus people I know do Acts of Service to show their appreciation for you and I think that’s pretty sweet 🥺 Your aesthetics are bomb, Taurus 🌻

Gemini: Let me just say these hoes are some of the most talkativeee signs. They’re really friendly too. I don’t know a lot of Gemini’s but from the ones I know they’re really good at keeping conversations and they legit have so much to say! The fact that they jump from one topic to another gets overwhelming but that’s exactly what makes them exciting and fun to get to know! I can’t really say anything negative about these signs since I barely know any but I’ll update this when I do :) Wish I met more Gemini’s 💨

Cancer: Ok but hoooooly shit these signs are MOODY AF let me tell you. One moment they’re all fun and games and then they’re suddenly sulking and pouting for some weird reason ?? They hold grudges too and I hope they learn not to :( But once you’re used to their mood swings they’re honestly just the sweetest babies. If they could come in warnings it would probably say “caution: fragile”. Having late night talks where u just spill ur heart out to them is honestly the most therapeutic thing. They’re also really thoughtful and know exactly what to give their loved ones which is honestly such a gift. If you’re someone who likes to take care of everyone then they are your people. The most important things about this sign is their intuition! Listen to them when they say something’s not right because chances are they’re right about it! You make me feel safe , Cancer 🌊

Leo: One thing’s for sure with Leo’s, you really can’t go wrong with their loyalty. They are the type of people who would fight for u! At least the ones I know don’t really love the limelight but they sure wouldn’t hold back in showing off their loved ones 😍 expensive parties, gifts, social media posts anything to show u off. they really know how to make u feel special and that’s pretty sick. they’re also really good company as they know how to have a good time. Can’t say anything bad about them either since I don’t have a lot of them in my life :( Shine your light, Leo 🌞

Virgo: Oh. My. God. I have so many virgos in my life. They can be passive aggressive which really gets on my nerves 😂 they’re really really meticulous in the little things and try to fix every. single. screw up. They can be insecure af bc theyre very self-aware but that just makes me wanna love them even more. These people will give gr8 advice and opinions straight to you which honestly is very very helpful. They help you see things practically and really just ground you. They are extremely hard workers sometimes to their breaking point which is why I think they can really go far in life. They’re also really thoughtful and selfless people and I hope they treat themselves from time to time because they really really deserve it. Their motivation is actually contagious which are one of the many reasons why I love them. You are enough, Virgo 🍃

Libra: Lmao my sun sign. I haven’t actually met a lot of Libras but based on the ones I know (and myself) we can be really really indecisive which I know tends to annoy other people but know that we do it bc we like to weigh our options and pick the best option that everyone agrees with. We can be people pleasers and want other people to like us which is what I tried to do in my younger years. I’d always felt like it was an attack when someone wouldn’t like me but yes, we can learn to stop being people pleasers when we’ve had enough. We hate confrontation ! It gets really awkward because sometimes I think that saying how I feel/think is a personal attack to someone but I’m working on it. My dad and a close friend of mine is a libra and they’re really good at making u see the other side of an argument/situation which is one of the things I love about my sign and I hope other people love that about us too. We keep it fair and square for y’all 🌬

Scorpio: I have mixed feelings about this sign. I either like them a loooot, don’t like them, or just feel eh about em. They can be pretty intense when u get into an argument with them (or at least the arguments I’ve witnessed) because they give off these really intimidating vibes. I guess it’s the intensity of their eyes. Some of them can be pretty passive aggressive too which again can be annoying but some can be pretty straight to the point and almost feel like they stab u right in the heart with their honesty. They. hold. grudges ! They can be pretty closed off too :( so u probably wouldn’t really know them until they decide to open up to you which honestly takes a while and I know they do that to make sure u don’t screw them over. They can also be really selfish and stubborn when they feel like you’ve neglected them so watch out for that sfsfsfgs but these can also be the nicest, softest, and sweetest signs. They make u feel loved and are really good listeners when your have problems and when they care about something/someone they care about you deeplyyyy fr. The smallest unusual things can put them off but giving them reassurance and talking about your issues with them will calm them down. For the more outgoing ones, they can make u feel welcomed when you’re in a new environment. Your intensity is something else, Scorpio 💦

Sagittarius: My other. best. friend’s. sign like fUUUUUck these are hands down one of the most insane people you’ll meet. Me and my best friend beside each other is already a party in itself ngl. These signs are also really good at keeping conversations fun, lighthearted, and meaningful. When they’ve finally found someone worth their loyalty, time, and effort, when they say they got u, they got u till the grave man. They can either be really fucking insane or the chillest people you’ll know. They’re very easy to get along with too. When you’ve upset them, they can be pretty upfront about how they feel so you definitely won’t have second guesses about what goes on in their heads. Give them their space too as they’re willing to give you just as much and you’re good. You been my ride or die, Sag ✨

Capricorn: Aha here’s the other sign I have a love- hate relationship with. I’ve talked to a few of them and these people can literally be the most confusing and almost sneaky people I’ve met (they can be kinda passive aggressive). They don’t give their all to someone they don’t know for sure is willing to give 200% of themselves in return. However, they are also the hustlers of the zodiac. You probably wouldn’t know they have 3 side hustles and 2 main ones which is something I really admire them for. Their drive to achieve their goals makes you wanna work 10x if not a hundred times harder to achieve your goals and take on new ones. They come off super intimidating but I guess that’s just part of their appeal (their vibes literally scream i’m the boss, bitch) they can also come off really serious but they actually have a really great sense of humor. I’ll admit they’re funny af. Just like their goals, once they’ve decided to put their heart into someone’s hands they will put not just a hundred but 200 if not 500% of themselves into their relationships and they are always at the top of their loyalty game. They’re most likely to also perform Acts of Services and can be really selfless people so treat your cap friends from time to time and definitely ask how they’re doing. They tend to bottle up emotions and don’t really know how to express them properly so be as selfless as they are too bc God knows they need emotional support as much as everyone does despite looking like they have their shit together. Stay at the top of your game, Caps 💯

Aquarius: The cutest weirdos I know ! They’re quirkiness is endearing and some people may find it odd but it really just comes from how unique and original they are. Their fight for equality is really inspiring be it feminism, or any sort of cause to fight for rights is what they’re known for. They’re also the first ones to notice and call out inequality in certain situations and really helps people realize and see the hidden agendas/messages of marketing. They call out what society thinks is right and it’s something really cool about them. Keep being weird, Aquarius 👽

Pisces: I only really know one but from what I’ve gathered, they can be reaaaal softies. They’re really good at any form of art like painting and music. For some reason they’re given the talent of knowing exactly what gifts to give their loved ones? They’re really thoughtful and can be really selfless for their loved ones. They’re really good at making you feel understood and make u feel comfortable in your own skin and are the perfect home bodies tbh. Late night talks with this sign have been amazing so far and I would recommend telling a Pisces what’s been bothering u. Don’t put too much anger or negative energy into what u say to them tho as they feel their emotions physically too. This really close friend of mine who i might as well consider my sister told me she literally feels drained after having people tell her their problems. They can be quite moody and are a handful when they aren’t in a good mood too. They may lash out on people around them and it’s just not something you’d want to deal with especially when you’re in good spirits. They can be quite shy but are willing to talk to people who know how to keep a conversation going as well. You’re a blessing, Pisces 🐠

“I Love You”

20/12/18

I wish I had the knowledge, experience, and strength to say these three words to you when we were still dating. I remember realizing that I was actually in love with you soon after we separated. I thought at the time that perhaps it was just me missing you, but how many times was I going to kid myself? How much was I willing to NOT love you?

I feel really horrible saying this. I wish I never broke up with you. At least, right now! It’s selfish because objectively you are much better off because of the unique circumstances you’re in. I still wish I never gave you up, because for the past five months I have thought so much about our memories together. At the time, I thought we would have so much time to make more. I wish I did more, like when we saw Coco in November I wish I wrapped my arm around you. I wish I initiated physical contact more. I wish I made you feel valued, or put effort into learning about you, your family, your friends. 

The worst part is the feeling when imagining every precious memory I have with you and replacing myself with someone else. From the small things like heart emojis sent, to the bigger things like touching heads, laying down together. 

I have a lot of regrets. I ended it because I thought it was the right choice. I believe it WAS the right choice! If I never ended it, would it have ended? Would it spoil? Would I have realized what the feeling of love was?

I wish there was someone I could talk to. I wish I had a way to vent this feeling. Which is why I made this.

I hope your new relationship works out because it’s so healthy and good for you to have someone there who can be physically close all the time. But, god damn, can I please be selfish once? I wish I thought that to myself before I ended it. That I could be selfish just this once and keep being with you. But like I said before, maybe it’s better this way. You said it was probably the right decision at the time, and your intuition is excellent. I do not doubt you.

Another thing. I’m so sorry I forgot your birthday. When I realized, literally 6 weeks later, I sobbed harder than I had in years. Every September 24th, October 5th, and January 7th will be hard days for me as long as I still love you. You know what all those days are, I’m sure. I’ve felt confident in the fact that I’ve loved you for months. When you were in a moment of weakness and asked me to take you back you have (probably) an idea how much I wanted to say yes, of course I will. But I knew it wasn’t something you’d say normally. 

Another thing that hurts me is thinking how close those memories are from March. It feels like yesterday, like it was so close I could go back and save everything. But I can’t go back. I can taste it, but I can’t have it. I miss you so much, I never thought I’d have feelings this strong for another person.

This is my first break-up blog. It sounds fucking freaky honestly. Kind of stalkerish. I hope I can get over this soon. I need to realize there is honestly probably no way you’d ever consider dating me again, and some part of me doesnt want to lose these feelings in case you ever ask again. But thats not healthy. So I’m going to do the selfless thing again, because like last time, it’s the RIGHT thing. I’m going to kill these feelings so we can have a friendship I can cherish. 

I’m so sorry I was too stupid to be able to say I love you. I will always miss hearing you say it to me. If I could have given that back to you, it would make this easier. But instead the tables have turned. I realized I loved you too late. I’ve loved you since at least February. I just never knew it. But now someone else gets to say “I love you” to you, and it’s something you deserve, and something I want to be emotionally fine with. I will always try to be your #1 supporter :D

I wish I could look back at all Ive typed and see something good. I don’t. I see a fucking weirdo who cant get over something and I feel like a creep. I wish I could say I love you without jeopardizing anything. :( hurts not to be able to say it. Sorry I made you go through something similar.

Where are you?

Summary: Going to the club for part of Jason’s job was probably a bad idea. 

Jason Todd x Reader 

Word Count: 1378

//Thank you so much for the request! I’m sorry if this isn’t what you were expected. 

The club is utterly packed, something utterly unsurprising for a Saturday night in a place like Gotham City. This has to be one of the grossest clubs in all of Gotham, with floors sticky enough to cause your foot to rise without your shoe more than once, and a smell that you don't recognise for a few minutes before you realise that it's multiple types of perfumes mingled with an almost overwhelming amount of Axe Body Spray, something you blame entirely on all of the people surrounding you. You'd be shocked that people would willingly come to a place like this if you weren't all too used to the city, people will take anything as a means of forgetting about how awful living in the city with the highest crime rates in all of the country is. The people surrounding you cause you to think of a gyrating labyrinth in their dancing, and caused your movements around the other patrons to be awkward and uncomfortable; hips hitting other people as you try to manoeuvre your way back to the bar. While you would have usually apologised to the people that you had accidentally coming into contact with, the dirty looks that they keep sending you cause you to glare instead- cursing them out in your head, they must be able to see how fucking cramped this place is. Any ordinary niceties you'd offer to strangers are utterly abandoned when they prove themselves to be assholes. What usually would have been a two-second walk is now a ten-minute struggle. The smell mingling with the sweat-inducing heat of all of the people makes you feel more than just a little bit sick, a feeling that only ceases when you finally free yourself from the throng.

While adjusting your now crumpled dress and shoes, the shoes that you're very sure are utterly ruined from the sticky floor and people in the crowd spilling drinks onto you during your passage through the club, you squint to better try and take in the somewhat darker surroundings of the bar. There are surprisingly few people in front of the bar, just a few drunk girls speaking obnoxiously loudly to each other, but annoyingly there's no sight of your boyfriend. No sign of any tall, black-haired, blue-eyed boys anywhere around. "Damn it." You mutter under your breath, pushing some stray hair behind your ear. Jason had brought you to the bar- as a means of finding a drug lord rather than as any form of a date. Before leaving to find then kill the scumbag, Jason had pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead after dumping his leather jacket around your shoulders, either as a means of marking you so that he can find you easily later or as a means of laying a claim on you to keep other men away. You can't help but be just a little bit agitated at the fact that the first night that you'd spent with Jason, really in any capacity, was weeks ago. Sometimes when you allowed yourself to be selfish, but only in your mind, you would curse Jason's selflessness and willingness to be out on the streets and saving the city that couldn't save him. Shoving your hands into the pockets of the too big, brown leather jacket, you approach the counter, smiling slightly at the bartender while you order your usual drink of choice; you remind yourself internally that just because you're alone in a gross place doesn't mean that you can't attempt to have some sort of fun. The waiter nods at you before getting to work, leaving you to lean against the cool, glittering quartz on the countertop. From across the room, a tall and pretty blond man leers at you before smirking almost sickeningly smugly at you and begins making a beeline towards you. Retrieving the newly placed down drink and replacing it with some cash from Jason's pocket, you try to make a move to avoid the man on his way towards you only to stiffen at the feeling of a hand on your hip. Damn it. Of course, a creep in a bar would be able to more easily make his way around than you could. Trying to keep an expletive at bay, you turn on heel to glare at the man who was oggling you as if you were oblivious to what he was doing. "...Can I help you?" You ask forcefully, any semblance of politeness utterly ignored, face contorted in annoyance as you shove his hand away from your hip. "Come dance with me." He demands, words slurred as he leans in towards you, breath hot against your skin and smelling of whiskey and something akin to lemon, forcing your grimace to intensify. Both the demand and his uneasy closeness makes you feel angry in a way you can't help but feel like you can't vocalise without coming across as an utter bitch, and you wish for all the world that Jason was with you to defend you. You want the defence only out of the subtle fear of what would happen from your denial in such a dark place with such loud music. Somehow, you doubt many people would notice if things went sour for you in their drunken stupors, and definitely don't want to test your theory. "No thanks." Your voice comes out much more shaky than you would have liked, and decide to down your drink in one- hoping that the liquid courage will do you some help, but nothing seems to come from it as the hand holding her glass begins to shake. The combination of the darkness with the pounding noises is making you feel more claustrophobic than ever before. [E/C] eyes dart around the club to try and look for anyone looking sober and friendly enough to help. “What the hell did you just say to me?” The blond barks at you, hand darting towards your arm as you stagger backwards. His eyes narrow dangerously, jaw clenched to the point where a vein in the side of his head bulges visibly even in the darkness. The sticky floor on the ground, however, means however that the staggering falters when your shoes stick to the floor, leaving you to slam harshly into the person standing immediately behind you. Your eyes snap shut immediately at the contact, but the smell of a familiar cologne combined with cigarette smoke makes you sigh in relief. "She just said Get Fucked, You Fucking Creep," Jason growls at the man from behind you, his arm winding around your waist protectively. Your relief is, however, shortlived as the blond man continues in his attempt to grab your arm in spite of Jason's protective grip on you. Jason growls angrily, shoving the man's arm before punching him in the face. Eyes widening at this, you realise that your original theory was indeed correct. None of the people around you even seem to notice that your boyfriend had just decked the weirdo. Jason's anger doesn't seem to lessen even after he had punched the man, pulling you along by your waist towards the door. Once outside in the bitter cold air of mid-April, he softens slightly and cups your face. Any anger seems to dissipate, replaced in turn by concern as he tilts your face towards the fluorescent orange light of the street lamps, examining your face to see if the man had actually managed to hurt you. "...You find him?" You ask, trying to maintain an air of normalcy, trying to maintain eye contact with Jason. "Yep. He's not gonna be dealing around here anymore, Babe." Jason confirms before gently pressing a kiss to the junction of your jaw and neck. "He hurt you?" His voice is soft and remorseful enough for you to forget that Jason hadn't been around in the first place. "I'm fine. I'm okay, I promise." You mumble as Jason's kisses gently ebb up from your jaw to your cheek and then across to your mouth. His lips break into a small smile as he gently kisses the corner of your mouth in apology for his absence. "Good. Cause if he'd hurt you... let's just say that ugly fucker wasn't gonna be fuckin' walkin' home."

Tag List:

@cracraforfandoms

Shout out to the city of Portland.. y'all put up with my Bullshit and keep me safe. Especially the PD and SP.. the paramedics, not so much.. you fuckers stole my phone and ducktaped my sunburned ass like 80% to a hard ass gurny and treated me like shit and threatened to throw me in the grass.. then gave me a nutbag knockout shot and stole my phone and changed my gmail password. As for the citizens.. you're all very nice. I haven't met a mean one yet except that crazy bitch at the park who said she was gonna stab me while I was drinking box wine with Geno. Do it Skankly! Beat it fuckin weirdo.. had to yell at her forever to leave. Geno was yelling too!! Y'all confuse me sometimes.. I don't realize that everything I say has such an impact on somebody somewhere but that's my opinion and if you don't like it, don't listen.. as for you ladies in the park screaming nigga bitch or wtf ever, y'all made me smile so many times. Yes, I realized I sang part of a 3 6 mafia song that I fuckin love, sang by nigga's I love and I can say that cause I'm hotter than Shady and protected by the United States, maybe the world.. I dunno.. Nah, Stfu you funny ass wannabe bitches, you ain't even mean.. you were having fun. Me? Racist? Fuck you.. I'm racist against punks and fakes, racists and flakes.. my dad tried to brainwash me at an early age but I always felt there was something wrong with it and every time I have felt guilty.. go suck a dick with bitch made Cody. Love the eye contact initiative.. sounds familiar huh? Its nice to finally have people respecting each other. Proud of you Snowboarder! The only scary thing you see in someone else's eyes is that they are seeing you at the same time. You are respecting yourself and others by not being afraid. If everyone felt equally respected there wouldn't be that nature, dominance need to dominate. I bet things would change hugely all over. Respect is huge.. take away that when that's all you have left and what do you expect to happen? Violent homeless people or convicts or even gang members, relationships.. "I felt disrespected," would probably be number one. Be respectful, eye contact is respectful.. y'all forgot that and now you get busted up for doing it in a weak way. I'm sure it will be hard for a lot of people. Its just like drug addicts, its shame or fear that puts the eyes away. You automatically give up respect of yourself for doing that saying, "I'm weaker cause I will allow it but please leave me alone if I give up all respect." Don't do that!! I love it when people look me in the eye. I feel respected and like I am allowed to show that respect back. I look everyone in the eyes except women when I'm in a bad mood. I don't want to convey any of my ill will towards a woman. You never know what kind of life or trauma they have had. I didn't even look that bitch in the eye I was screaming at to leave me alone and I had my back turned most of the time. Don't hate.. if you were there.. she was a psycho. Eventually she got tired of hearing us yelling and she mosied on. What else? There are some people that approach me when I'm down just to try to cheer me up.. and I'd like to thank you. You help me more than you know. All it takes is a little kindness to lift someone's day. Even one selfless act of kindness per person would go a long way. One thing I disagree with around these towns with a lot of homeless people and a moral I created in myself.. is these lazy ass, robotic, gimme gimme, pinball homeless people that bounce between every single person down the block asking for cigs or change.. those guys don't give a fuck about you like 0%.. don't give them shit man. They are bums expecting selfish handouts selfishly.. try to engage them in conversation. There are a lot of people who just have hard times and would love to talk through a cig. They'd even give you a shirt or some food if they had it, directions.. there are very nice people down there.. even the crazy ones.. who deserve eye contact too. I guarantee you if you stop giving the lazy bums cigs.. they won't make eye contact at first but they will have to start being more sociable and positive and becoming part of society if they want hand outs. Adapt and change.. small steps like that will improve overall attitude and the populations self worth. A society that respects itself isn't one that's ruled by fear. I dunno, it makes dollars and cents to me and best of all that's a society change that's free and if accepted it would greatly improve morale, self worth, community, an attitude adjustment for the homeless to adopt a more positive lifestyle and to mingle with the community increasing communication and overall self awareness. Once again.. thank you to everyone around here in Portland that I directly or indirectly interact with, you are all beautiful in your own way. And to you fuckin toxic waste dumps that can't take a joke or keep your mouth shut, I'm not sorry that I pissed you off bitch. You keep talking and running your mouth and I guarantee that I'm gonna say some worse shit. I don't care how hard you are.. you's bitch made and you remind me of a hoe nigga so you can kiss my--- grit!! Bass Ackwards, right? Your not supposed to bump your gums.. dish lumps or eat jello at the hospital but quit that noise pollution. Remember in school, you'd fight and then be friends? Respect. Respect is also shutting up. Noise pollution is like Chihuahua bitch ass dry snitch (up in your face while the po po is sitting at the light so he'll break it up) shit. I live by a whole different code than most of you guys.. I'm constantly learning and trying to become a better person, little by little. Change is hard, that's why y'all be trapped in a perpetual cycle of fucked upness and life never gets better. The easy road isn't really that easy, huh? It fuckin sucks!! A little effort goes a long way.. Never give up when you want to succeed. No matter how big the hill is you have to climb.. you'd be surprised how much more you are capable of doing than you actually do. And most of all.. stay positive Portland. You get what you put in.

Euphoria - Huge motha-fuckin-rant on Portland, Or. The nicest place in Oregon that I've lived so far..

Deadly: Part 01.

By: busans97 (busan97fics)

Pairing: OC x Jungkook

Word Count: 2,013

Warnings: violence, gore

Summary: Being a “hitman” (or woman, in this case) figure at eighteen is bizarre, but falling in love with a boy you’re supposed to kill in a matter of seven days is even more bizarre.

[check out the other parts of this story!]

(gif credit to owner)

There is a certain tranquility in watching someone's blood ooze out from beneath their dead, cold body. It's kind of like the silence after a tornado passes.

I kill people for a living; just in case you were wondering why I was watching some dead guy bleed out. I swear I'm not a weirdo who just watches people die.

Long story short, my parents fucked me over at a young age, so I've been on my own in the world since I was twelve. I got into a bad scene, I guess you'd call it, and now I'm here after six years. It's not as bad as a scene as you think, though. I don't kill just anyone for money, which is a big reason why I don't refer to myself as a hitman-type figure. I kill the bad people who need to be killed: racists, cheaters, rapists, you name it. I've always been a big believer in getting justice even if it meant doing it immorally, so I guess you could say this job is pretty much made for me.

I get paid a good amount for it, too. The most I've ever gotten in a week is $10k. Not bad for an eighteen-year-old orphan, huh?

I stared at the dead man on the floor one last time, then I began to gather my things: my gun and my bag for money. Unruffled, I walked out of the apartment and took out the disposable cell-phone from my pocket and dialed a number.

"Jiyu? It's Eunju. The job is done, meet me around the corner Jihun's apartment. Bye."

As I left the apartment building, I spotted a dark-haired girl waiting across the street, tapping her fingers anxiously against the metal telephone pole. I squinted to try to get a better look at who it was, and like she was reading my mind, the girl turned around to reveal her face to me. It was Jiyu, thank God.

Her face immediately lit up as she spotted me on the sidewalk, and she began running towards me; and when she approached me she engulfed me in a tight, uncomfortable hug. I winced as she rocked me back and forth and made the sides of my arms turn white.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" Jiyu squealed. "I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

"No problem, it's what I do." I said while attempting to squirm out of Jiyu's embrace. "But hey. You can repay me by maybe giving me that money..."

"Oh! Right." Jiyu pulled out a huge wad of cash from her bag and placed it in my hand. It looked like it could be $8K or $9K, even.

My jaw slightly dropped in awe. "How much is this?!"

"$9,000."

"Holy shit, Jiyu, you don't need to—"

"No, Eunju, I want to." Jiyu insisted. "He was a...horrible man. I went through that shit with him for almost three years, and it's finally over thanks to you. This is how I wanna repay you."

"But we agreed on $2500, I don't want to screw you over like that. This is almost $7,000 more than we agreed on, at least take $1K back."

"No. Keep it. All. You deserve it, Eunju. I know your job is dirty and pretty illegal, but I think you're doing a wonderful and underrated thing. It's much more than the police did to help me."

I cracked a slight smile at her indirect compliment. "Thanks. That's what I aim for, or at least try to. I'm happy Jihun's out of your life for good. He didn't deserve someone as kindhearted as you."

"Ahh, Eunju," Jiyu faintly smiled and blushed. "Thank you. So much. It's pretty late, I should start to head home."

"Be careful," I warned. "It can get dangerous around here. Let me give you my actual number just in case something happens."

Jiyu handed me her phone and I swiftly entered my contact in. I smiled at her and decided to return the hug she gave me earlier.

"See you," Jiyu waved and began walking in the other direction.

I let out a deep sigh. Not a rude one, just an exhilarated one. This job has taught me there are two types of people in the world: selfish egotists and selfless, beautiful people.

Some clients I get stand out more than others; for good and bad. Like Jiyu, for example, is a client who stood out to me very positively. She is one of the most thankful clients I've worked for, and you can notice by the exasperation she had about her situation. And that's where the bad clients come in.

"Bad" clients don't come to me because they're emotionally drained about this person. These people come to me for pure revenge. Bad customers don't cry or stress. They get angry, irate even. Bad clients are also usually the ones that throw false accusations at me. I haven't gotten too many false accusations, thankfully, but it's the most horrible feeling when you discover you've killed an innocent person. Those are the clients you have to watch out for, and it's unfortunate that there's shitty people like that in the world, and it's even more unfortunate when it's almost impossible to keep a lookout for those type of people: you can see motivation in their eyes, but you can also see a coat of "genuine" fear and tragedy to the point where the coat is so big that it makes the motivation invisible.

I made my way down the streetlight-lit road towards my friend Yoongi's place since it was still pretty early in the night: 11PM.

Yoongi and I have been friends since I was about fourteen and he was twenty. It's a pretty big age gap considering how young I was at the time, but he really is like a big brother figure to me. I didn't always live alone in my own apartment like I do now; Yoongi was the one who noticed me moving from different alleyways to abandoned buildings nearly every night back then. I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty terrified when he first approached me, I didn't know what to say or think other than that this guy was gonna kidnap me and send me to Guam for human trafficking or something. But he saw that I was a nervous wreck, and he warmed up to me. The way he talked to me so soothingly and asked me questions just made me feel so relaxed and made me forget everything that was going on in my life at that moment. He was one of the first people who sincerely cared for me, which made my hormonal fourteen-year-old self's heart flutter. Yes, I had a crush on Yoongi for a bit. It's a pretty long story, but to make it short, I continuously tried to make moves on him up until I was sixteen, which he kindly rejected and told me that I was "too young" for him. It angered me, but he wasn't wrong. That's over now, though. After being in a handful of relationships after that I've decided I'm done with guys. They all just want you for one thing. Do I even need to say what that one thing is?

I arrived to Yoongi's apartment building after a short 5 minutes of walking and walked up the 3 flights of stairs it took to get to his apartment. It always pissed me off that his building was on the older side and didn't have an elevator. I jiggled the doorknob of his front door. Locked. I stood on my tippy toes and reached my hand up to the top ledge of the door until I felt a key. Very original, Yoongi.

I walked into Yoongi's apartment to see Yoongi and his roommate Hoseok playing some type of video game. I confidently marched over to the kitchen table, which was located right behind the boys, and slammed the wad of cash I had in my pocket onto the table. The two boys instinctively turned around widened their eyes once they spotted the money on the table.

"How much is that?" Yoongi asked casually, but his face said otherwise.

"$9 fucking K." I proudly looked down at the money now spread apart on the table and felt a smirk form on my face.

"Were you in some kind of inside job where you had to kill the President or something?" Hoseok chimed in.

I laughed at his snarky mark. "Only if. Just a normal job; nothing different than what I usually do. The girl I helped was just so thankful. And now I am too!" I began to throw the paper money in the air.

"You made what you usually make in a week in one night," Yoongi stated. "What the hell are you gonna do with all that money? And who are you gonna share it with?"

"Woah, who said I was gonna share it?"

"We all know if you used that all you'd spend it on clothes and food." Hoseok said, turning his body back around to face the TV monitor. "Impulsively, of course."

"So? It's my money. I can do whatever I want with it." I said matter of factly.

"Yeah, it's your money you earned by killing a man," Yoongi scoffed.

"Hey, you got your interests and I got mine." I fished through Yoongi's fridge in hopes of finding something to munch on. "Do you guys mind if I crash here tonight?"

"No," the boys said in unison. Their monotone voices gave away that they were both engrossed with their video game once again.

"Can't we watch a movie or something instead of playing Overwatch all night?" I plopped on the couch in between Hoseok and Yoongi, who both dared not to take their eyes off the fluorescent screen.

"You're just upset because you don't know how to play," Hoseok teased, which earned a light chuckle from Yoongi.

I rolled my eyes and took my phone out of my pocket to see tons of messages from my friend Jisu: 24 text messages and 7 missed calls.

Hey, where r u?

Can u talk?

It's important

Eunju please

Call me when you see these

I met Jisu a while ago; I met her through Yoongi actually. They both went to school together so she was always over Yoongi's place when I used to live here. Jisu and I were friends, but not really close. I have her number, but I haven't talked to her for at least a year. We really didn't have anything in common, other than us both being friends with Yoongi. So I think calling her my "friend" is an overstatement, I'd say an acquaintance, if even that.

I shot up from the couch and quickly walked over to the hallway so I wouldn't disturb Yoongi and Hoseok. But I guess me standing up and walking away abruptly didn't exactly make me invisible to them.

"You okay?" Of course Yoongi sensed there was something wrong.

"Yeah, fine," I replied. "Just need to take a call."

Yoongi nodded and shifted his focus back onto his video game. I turned into the guest bedroom (also my old bedroom) and swiftly dialed Jisu. She immediately answered.

"Eunju?"

"It's me. Are you okay?"

Jisu hesitated. "Yeah it's...I'm fine. It's nothing really."

"Just tell me. I mean, if you're calling me out of all people it has to be pretty significant, right?"

I could hear a faint laugh over the phone. "Um...uh, I don't know how else to put this. I...I think I have a job for you. I need you to....kill someone."

[A/N]: Hello to everyone who read this! Thank you sm for reading, i should have the two other parts i’ve already written up very soon. I originally started writing this fic on wattpad, but I find it easier to publish it here, so I’m probably going to continue writing fics on here from now on lolsnddn. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this and stay tuned for the next part ;)

[pt. 2]