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#screw jesus's birthday
spookyfooxx · 1 year
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Happy birthday Lemmy <3
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tetsunabouquet · 5 months
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ITS OFFICIAL! ITS PAST MIDNIGHT! I AM 26!
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dwobbitfromtheshire · 7 months
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I'm taking a break from my regularly scheduled fic to bring you this awkward and silly ficlet.
Robin loves Eddie, much like an annoying younger sister would, and she wanted to get him this really awesome ring for his birthday. She supposed she could have asked him for his ring size, but then that would have been too easy. So, she's here with Steve, in Eddie's new bedroom, to steal one of his rings.
"I feel like there are other ways to do this," Steve said.
"This is my plan," Robin said. "Shh!"
"There's no one here, Robin," Steve hissed. "This is so stupid. Hurry."
"I'm trying. He doesn't keep his rings in a jewelry box like a normal person," Robin said.
"Would you really want Eddie to be normal?" Steve asked.
"Nah," she said, smiling fondly. "I love that weirdo."
Suddenly, there was the sound of van tires squealing out side.
"Oh, fuck!" Robin cursed.
"Hurry it up!" Steve said, snapping his fingers.
The sound of Eddie making his way up the stairs heightened their panic.
"Fuck!" Eddie cursed and they jumped. "I forgot my pretzels."
The sound of him leaving caused them to sigh in relief. Steve motioned for her to hurry up. Robin let out a quiet screech when they heard the sounds of his footsteps. She raised her hands when she found the ring, and she rushed to Eddie's little balcony that was just outside his window. Steve followed her.
"No!" She whispered. "There's no room! Hide in the closet!"
"Why don't you hide in the closet?" Steve hissed at her.
"Oh, yeah, a lesbian in a closet? Very funny, Steve," Robin hissed.
"Actually, there's something that I wanted to tell you about me - ," Steve started to say.
"No time," she said and closed the window, catching Steve’s shirt in the process.
He tugged and tugged, but it wouldn't budge. Robin couldn't get the window back open. Meanwhile, Eddie's footsteps were getting closer.
"Robin!"
"Just slip out of your shirt, close the curtains, and hide in the closet!" Robin
Steve cursed at her, slipped out of his shirt, and closed the curtains. Meanwhile, Robin was balanced on this very small balcony. Did they really have to give the Munsons a two story house? She could hear the sound of Eddie coming into the bedroom, struggling to carry what sounds like several bags of pretzels. She rolled her eyes when she heard him toss them on his bed.
"Now, to work on my campaign," Eddie said and cackled until a loud sneeze came from his closet. "Okay. . .but wait, now I have to kick the shit out of whoever is hiding in the closet. Bet it's Dustin, always trying to sneak a peak at my notes - Oh helloooo, big boy. You know, my birthday isn't for another couple of weeks."
"I know, I got excited. I wanted to give you your gift early," Steve said.
"Well, happy birthday to me. Correct me if I'm wrong, but is my birthday gift you?" Eddie asked.
Robin's eyes widened. No fucking way.
". . .yes."
Oh, holy shit. That's what Steve had been trying to tell her, and she. . . She practically shoved him into a fucking closet. Jesus. Suddenly, she heard the sound of loud moaning. Oh, they were kissing. Oh, she hoped they were kissing. Shit, she was going to have to listen to this, wasn't she? She was going to have to listen as her best friend lost his guy virginity. The sound of the pretzels being pushed off the bed made her wince. She was screwed, just like Steve was about to be.
"Wait, Eddie," Steve said. "You should know that you're the first guy that I've been with ever. Until I met you, I didn't even know I could like guys. I thought it was one or the other. I never thought it could be both."
Oh, Steve. Robin held a hand to her mouth, struggling not to say anything.
"Baby, I promise to be as gentle with you as you want me to be," Eddie said.
"The thing is that I think I got so excited about being with you that I think I forgot to be nervous. Now, I'm nervous and worried that I'm going to screw things up. In the past, I kind of rushed it in this department, and I just . . . ," Steve said.
"Want to take things slow?" Eddie asked in amusement. "Of course, I'll take anything that you can give me. You know why?"
"Why?"
"Because I love you, silly," Eddie said.
"I love you too, Eddie," Steve said, and she could tell her friend's voice was thick with emotion.
Tears filled her eyes. Fuck. She loved Eddie even more now.
"You just have to have to answer me one thing," Eddie said. "Why is your shirt hanging in the window? You didn't close the curtains all the way."
"Uh, I got nervous and panicked, then my shirt got stuck," Steve replied.
"Oh, yeah, that window is tricky. I have been meaning to fix it," Eddie said. "Let me get that."
"Wait!"
Robin froze, eyes wide as she heard Eddie come close to the window. A moment later, the window was opened, and Steve’s shirt was free.
'Tada!" Eddie exclaimed and then popped his head out the window. "Oh, hey, Robin."
He pulled his head back in again. There was a pause, and then Eddie's head was out the window once more. He stared at her, blinking.
"Coo! Coo!" Robin panicked.
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leelei1980 · 8 hours
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Loving Mr. Munson Extra- Happy Birthday Baby
This extra was written based on an ask, I hope you all like it😉
🛑 MATURE CONTENT-SMUT WARNING-18+ ONLY-MINORS DNI 🛑
Reader
You had butterflies in your stomach as you heard your husbands truck pull into the yard. Today was a very special day, it was his birthday.
You started the day off by waking him up with a birthday Blowjob, carefully rolling him onto his back, kissing your way down his sculpted, inked body.
" Fuck Sweetheart," his voice rough and sexy from sleep." I'll take waking up like this any day over the alarm clock."
You kissed and licked the path to his Dick, watching the muscles of his abs quiver as your lips lightly tickled his skin." I thought that this might be a nice way to wake you up on your special day. Happy birthday Baby." You wrapped your lips around his thick cock and he swore.
" Fuck, I can't think of a better present than this.Holy Fuck- Jesus Christ Princess-"
You watched him walk out the door this morning with his lunchbox in hand and a smile the size of Texas on his face.
You pulled out all the stops, took the day off so that you could prepare. You decorated the kitchen and living room, went to pick him up his favorite foods to make him a romantic dinner. You made him a triple chocolate birthday cake from scratch, and you hired a carpenter to come over and install his birthday present in the basement. It had been a little embarrassing admitting to the carpenter that it was a stripper pole he would be installing, but if you were going to go through with it, if you were going to be spinning around or hanging upside down for your husband you wanted to make sure it was going to be stable and safe and that was a job for the professionals.
Once the words had been blurted from Robin's mouth, damn that tequila giving you liquid courage, and dropping your inhibitions that drunken night during your bachelorette party,Eddie had been teasing you, asking you when he would get to see your moves.
" I really wish I could have seen you Dollface, I bet you are a natural."
" I am pretty good at wrapping my hands around poles...would you settle for clumsy, awkward lap dance? I'd just be winging it ,no practice -"
" Abso-fucking-lutely."
You did your best, you giggled through most of it ,and you were wearing a baggy tee-shirt sweatpants at the time but Eddie still had a shit eating grin on his face, he loved it. He loved everything you did and because he did you would do anything for him. Including pole dancing. But this time you would be prepared.
You had been inspired while watching the movie Rock of Ages with Lisa, so you started watching videos online, thank God for YouTube, you really could learn how to do anything on there, and you had been practicing as much as you could whenever he wasn't around. You needed to start off simple, you were no professional so you wouldn't get in over your head. You worked on choreography , dancing, timing, watched some burlesque videos for technique, all of these things you could practice without a pole. You had a routine down, at least the dancing part. Now the pole work would be last minute, but you weren't screwing around.You had it in your head that you were going to do it for Eddie on his birthday.
When the handyman left you went right to work. You brought your laptop computer downstairs, propped it up on a stand where you could see it and then threw down some mats and pillows for when the inevitable happened and you fell to the floor. You walked around it , getting a feel for it, testing your grip, testing your strength and thanking God that your core muscles were killer from doing yoga for years now. It was all paying off .
You looked up pole dancing on YouTube and clicked on the video, 10 easy beginner pole dancing moves. You doubted it would be as easy as they made it look, but you wouldn't give up. You started with the inside step, which was easy enough then moved onto the inside hook and the extended fireman. The woman in the video was so graceful and smooth and fluid with her movements. You would get there eventually.
You continued on with the closed crossed legged fireman, the front hook and the skater hold, moved onto the forward crucifix,the sun wheel , the outside step arch and the elbow pirouette. You could feel the muscles in your body getting a workout and decided that this would most definitely be part of your new exercise routine.
You worked on these moves, then found a video for learning a beginner combination in 30 minutes. You chuckled, that seemed a little ambitious.
You practiced the entire day, you had always been a perfectionist and overachiever , eventually adding in the song you had chosen, taking breaks only to make Eddie's cake and prep dinner. Your shoulders and calf muscles were burning but you were feeling confident in your routine. Doing it in the racy little outfit you had chosen would be interesting, but in all honesty you could fall flat on your face and Eddie would pick you up and praise you for doing such an amazing job, and that is what you loved about him.
And now that man you loved was walking through the door with the biggest bunch of balloons you had ever seen. He smiled the moment he saw you." There's my girl."
You chuckled as you ran up to him and pressed a kiss to his lips." How was your day birthday boy?"
" It was good. Those fuckers at the shop filled my office with a million over-the-hill balloons, this bundle here is only a fucking fraction of what was in there. It was fucking ridiculous, granted it was hilarious, but ridiculous. I couldn't get a fucking thing done with those damn balloons floating around. " He let go of the bundle and wrapped his arms around you pulling you in close." This place looks and smells amazing. Thank you Darling. You fucking spoil me."
You smiled and kiss his lips again." You deserve it Baby, and the spoiling isn't over yet." You kissed the tip of his nose." Go sit at the table and relax while I finish dinner, we are having steak and Parmesan crusted baby red potatoes, some green beans. I have some wine already poured for you-"
" Jesus Princess, you didn't have to do all this."
"I did." You took his hand and guided him to the dining room table, watched him sit down then handed him his wineglass."Enjoy Baby."
He gave you the biggest smile then pulled you down for a kiss." Thank you Sweets."
You smiled back then went to finish dinner.
Eddie thoroughly enjoyed the meal, closing his eyes and moaning at the first bite, and you had to admit , you had done alright.
" Now it's time for dessert." You got up to go get his cake and he grabbed you and pulled you onto his lap." Are you my dessert Dollface? Because there is nothing fucking sweeter than you." He lightly kissed your lips.
You wrapped your arms around his neck." It's triple chocolate cake." You smiled.
" Fuck Kitten, you seriously made that cake for me? It's my fucking weakness. I'm really going to need to work out now."
" I'm sure we can figure out ways to burn it off." You winked. " After cake I have another surprise for you."
"What is it?"
" If I told you Baby, it wouldn't be a surprise."
"Give me a hint."
" It's your birthday present."
He smirked." You can't possibly top that incredible blowjob from this morning-"
" I bet I can."
" Can we skip to the surprise then?" He grinned.
" What the birthday boy wants, the birthday boy gets."
" I want you to sit on my face."
You laughed." Maybe later, first I want to show you your present." You popped up off his lap and ran to grab a scarf from the front closet. When you came back you tied it over his eyes .
" I like where this is going,this is fucking kinky Cupcake."
" Come with me."
" Cum with you, on you , you just let me know what you want Sweetheart."
You laughed again."All of the above, but you have to follow me first." You took his hand and lead him downstairs.
" Leading me to the fucking dungeon Princess? Gonna chain me the fuck up? I could be into that."
You led him to a chair you had set up then sat him down and kissed his lips."Ready for your surprise Baby?"
" You fucking know it."
You stepped aside and tugged the scarf off up over his eyes. " Happy birthday Eddie."
Eddie:
Holy.Fucking.Shit.
" No fucking way."
I sat stunned for a moment. There was no fucking way.
" Do you like it?" My Angel looked at me nervously, eyes wide." Maybe it was presumptuous of me to think you would want it, I should have just got you concert tickets-"
I stood up and lightly pressed my finger over her lips." No Babygirl this is perfect. I'm just, my mind is fucking blown."
I looked at the shiny sliver pole with the big red bow tied around it and I got butterflies in my stomach." That's a fucking stripper pole in our basement."
" I would have put it in the bedroom but there isn't enough room in there for me spin around without hitting something.I hope you don't mind-"
I looked at her and smiled." No Sweetheart, I don't mind." I wrapped my arms around her."This is fucking amazing, when the fuck did you do this?"
" Today, I hired a guy to come install it, if my fat ass is going to be whipping around it I wanted it to be secure."
" You hired someone?"
" Yeah, a carpenter. He was really nice."
I walked her over to it and grabbed onto the pole, trying to move it, nice and secure. "Yeah, that's not going anywhere."
" I've been using it all afternoon. It didn't move."
" You've been fucking pole dancing all afternoon and I wasn't even here to fucking see it!"
" I had to practice my routine! I only had a couple of hours before you got home, I wanted it to be perfect!"
My jaw dropped." You came up with a whole routine in just a couple of hours?"
" I have been watching a lot of videos so I planned it out, I have been practicing the dancing part for a while now when your not home-"
" Watching videos?"
"Yeah, on YouTube. You can learn how to do anything from changing a tire to pole dancing on there "
" No shit!"
"Yeah. I have been planning this out for weeks. You have been teasing me about dancing for you ever since you heard about my drunken escapades," she looked up at me from under her long lashes and bit her lip." Now it's time for me to tease you."
" Fuuuck." Jesus, I could already feel my dick twitching in my pants."So your going to dance for me?"
" I am." She smiled." Now be a good birthday boy and stay right here while I go get ready."
She kissed my cheek then ran up the stairs, leaving me with my heart pounding and a huge smile my face. She was fucking unbelievable.
I grabbed a beer from the small beverage fridge that we kept in the basement, twisted off the cap then went back to my seat of honor. I still couldn't fucking believe it. God, I loved this woman.
I had finished half of my brewski when I heard her footsteps approaching the stairs.
" Baby, close your eyes!"
" Ok, they are closed!"
" No peeking Eds!"
" I promise I'm not!"
"Ok!"
I closed my eyes and squeezed them shut, listened and heard the click of heels on the floor as she set herself up." Your fucking killing me here, Sugar."
" It will be worth it,well I hope it will be. Here," she handed something over to me, a small cd player, " Can you press the button for me Baby, when I say so?"
"Absolutely. Just tell me when."
"Hold on," I heard her shuffle away," God I'm so nervous. I don't want to fuck it up ."
" You're going to be amazing."
" I hope so," I heard her let out a deep breath."Ok, let it rip!"
I pressed the play button then opened my eyes. Standing before me was my sweet Angel,  looking hot as fuck, hair and makeup done to perfection, wearing a tight pink dress with a zipper running down the entire length of it,it hugged every gorgeous curve of her body,bon her feet, matching pink platform heels and to top it all off, my leather jacket.
" Fuuuck."
She winked at me as the intro to Def Leppard's Pour some Sugar on Me started. Jesus Christ.
I watched as she danced, shedding off my jacket, moving to the beat of the music. It was so incredibly hot and she was only taking off a fucking jacket. Next she smiled as she fucking teased me, unzipping the front of her dress just a little at a time, biting her plum lip, slowly revealing a sexy little number underneath, zebra print bra and panties, a garter and stockings - another obscenity passed my lips as the dress hit the floor and she was standing there in all her glory. Fucking spectacular. My heart pounded in my chest,  my dick getting hard at the sight of her.
She danced her way over, slinked around my chair shaking her ass, shimmying her perfect tits in my face. I reached out to touch her and she backed away shaking her finger at me.
" No touching until after the show Mr.Munson." She smirked.
" Fucking tease." I smirked back.
I watched her as she strutted back to the pole,ran her hand down it than spun around. My breath caught in my throat.
" Goddamn," I whispered to myself as I leaned forward in my seat, spreading my legs, resting my forearms on my thighs.
She swung around the pole with grace and confidence, transitioning smoothly from one movement to the next. She looked like she had been doing this her whole life.
I sat there completely pathetic, panting, jaw practically hitting the floor. She was absolutely stunning and so fucking sexy I was thought I was going to spontaneously combust. I felt my hand slide over the bulge in my pants, adjusting myself,I was so fucking aroused. I wanted her so fucking bad.
I watched her climb the pole, watched her muscles work, watched as she wrapped her legs around the pole and leaned straight back, hair hanging, and then in an instant she was hanging upside down. I stopped breathing for a moment and watched as gracefully dismounted.
I rushed to her, wrapping her up in my arms as she recovered.
" Did you like it Baby?" She asked smiling up at me.
" Did I fucking like it? Sweetheart," I took her hand and brought it down to the front of my jeans where my erection almost had me bursting at the seams." What do you think?"
She cupped me in her hand and gave my dick a squeeze." I think maybe."
" Fuuuck," I brought my hands up to her face, staring into her eyes."Do you have any idea how fucking incredible you are? That was fucking amazing. I can't fucking believe that you just learned that today. "
She smiled shyly. " It didn't always look that graceful. I fell on my ass, literally, in the first 10 minutes. Pretty sure I got a bruise on that one."
I backed away, running my hands along her body, surveying her for damage,and sure enough, there was a large bruise on her left ass cheek. How the fuck did I miss that earlier? Must have been all the other distractions.
I lightly ran my hand over it." Fuck Babydoll, are you ok?"
" I'm fine Eddie."
" I think I need to kiss it and make it better." I smirked then kissed her lips, then licked a trail trail down her throat, her breasts , nipping at her nipples through her semi transparent bra. I heard her moan. My cock was aching.
I dropped down on my knees and kissed her stomach, I watched as goosebumps raised on her skin and continued to her panties. I felt her fingers wind through my hair as I pressed a kiss over her clothed mound,then kissed the inside of her thigh working my way outward to the bruise on her ass where I placed an extra gentle kiss." All better Darling?"
"Mmm, yeah baby all better."
" Good to hear Princess."
" Eddie?"
" Yeah Doll?" I looked up at her, saw her chest heaving and I was glad to know I wasn't the only one struggling to keep it together.
" Can I please fuck you now? I'm so fucking hot for you, the way your eyes were fixed on me as I danced, when I saw your breath hitch-"
I got to my feet and picked her up, her legs wrapped around me and her lips crashed to mine. I walked us back to the armchair I had been sitting in to watch the show ,the backs of my legs hitting the seat.
Her mouth pulled away from mine as she unwrapped herself from me for a moment and ripped at my clothes.
" I need you so fucking bad right now, I feel like I'm going to fucking burst." I moaned as she lowered my pants, my erection finally loose from its constraints. She pulled off my shirt next and threw it across the room . Her hands planted on my chest, she pushed me back into the chair and then straddled me, grinding down on me.
" I can't fucking take it anymore Babygirl, all this teasing is driving me fucking insane." I reached behind her and unclasped her bra then buried my face in her breasts, sucking on them then squeezing them in my hands, pinching her nipples.I heard her gasp.
" Eddie, please, I need you inside me-" she whined in my ear." I need to ride your cock."
" Goddamn Sugar please…" I begged.
She reached down pulling her panties aside and slowly lowered herself down on my cock.
We both groaned loudly, obscenely, lost in the feeling of pure ecstasy. Her tight,wet cunt stretching around me, taking me fully in.
I grabbed her hips and held on, moving her as she rode me hard and fast. I thrusted up inside her, matching her pace, both of us breathing hard. I just about fucking lost it when she pulled my hair, exposing my throat  sucking my neck.
" Oh fuck, fuck Angel, are you getting close?"
" So close Baby-"
I reached between us and circled her clit, she arched her back, throwing her head back and her mouth opened, crying out my name.
I finally let go, overtaken by the feeling of release. So fucking good. Every.single.fucking.time, since our first time, it was so good.
I held her tight to my chest, I could feel her heart beating rapidly against me.
" Your fucking unbelievable. Absolutely fucking incredible." I lightly kissed her forehead.
" Not so bad yourself, for an old man." She sat up and smiled.
I cupped her cheek in my hand, running a thumb over her soft lips,she kissed it." Today, all of this," I gestured." Has been fucking amazing. I can't even begin to thank you-"
" You don't have to." She squeezed me." I love you. I want you to know how much I love you."
I chuckled." Getting a pole installed in the basement and working out a whole routine is a pretty good way of saying it."
" We haven't even gotten to the best part yet.
" Impossible, It can't get any fucking better."
" You clearly forgot about the birthday cake."
"Oh shit I did." I smirked." But honestly I have all the Sugar I need right here."
" Your so sweet."
" Come on,Let's go up and get some cake, then we will be ready for round two. Think you could improvise another dance? Maybe to some Metallica?"
" I can't guarantee it will be pretty but I will try."
" That's my good fucking girl."
She smirked." What the birthday boy wants, the birthday boy gets."
Tag list Lovlies : @tlclick73 @fairymunson @micheledawn1975 @elegantkoalapaper @goth-cowgirl-03 @bmunson86 @retrorage86 @hideoutside @veemoon @aleisashortcake @erinekc @babyloutattoo89 @amberolivia666 @eddiesxangel @liminalpebble @eddiesacousticguitar @munsons-mayhem28 @munsonsmullet @skyline4446 @maskofmirrors @blainetiberiuswinchester @bexreadstoomuch @candice-1983 @harrywavycurly @corkadymu @eddiesguitarskills @munsoneightysixx @sariahs-stuff @voyeurmunson @xxbimbobunnyxx @skulliecadaver-blog @nailbatanddungeon @josephquinnsfreckles @eddiemunsonfuxks
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hockeyboysimagines · 1 month
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hi!! Can you do romance prompt for Arber #9 “However many years we have left, I want to spend them all with you.”
you write him so sweet🥹thanks in advance I can’t wait to read it!
Thanks for this anon! Enjoy🤍
“Hey babe? What do you want for your birthday this year?” Arber asked from behind the laptop. You would be turning 20 next month, thankfully on a weekend free of games and practices. It gave him a free and open 4 days to cram everything celebratory he could think of for his favorite girl. You deserved it and now that he knew how unserious you thought of your birthday, he wasn’t going to let you get away easy. He’s gasped and nearly had a hissy when he found out you didn’t celebrate and hadn’t for a long time, scoffing at the suggestion that you continue with that theme. “Uh. No.” He said holding up a hand to silence you “We’re celebrating your birthday.”
“Nothing.”
He rolled his eyes and shook his head “Come on. Don’t be like that. I can’t take you out at midnight, so you have to let me get you something or throw a party.”
You leaned around the doorframe from where you were folding laundry to smile mischievously “Even if I was old enough, you would take me out where? You barely make it past 8pm every night.”
You weren’t wrong.
It wasn’t uncommon for Arber to suggest watching a movie only for him to asleep within the first ten minutes of it. He still glared at you either way. You were always giving him shit for the gap between your ages, though it wasn’t huge. Arber however felt most days like he was 80 years old, and being held together with screws and tape. So while he was only 4 years older, the constant beating his body took made the gap seem wider.
“What are you saying?” He turned completely around.
“I’m saying there’s no way you’d be able to party till all hours. Midnight is way past your bedtime.”
His mouth fell open “What did you just say to me?”
“You heard me. Old man.”
You immediately regretted it because the ‘Old Man’ in question was out of his chair and across the room before you even had time to scream. In one swoop he had you airborne and then on the bed with a squeal with an “OOF.” As you landed and bounced.
“Take it back.” He said fingers digging in to your sides.
You screeched and started to kick“Never.”
An all out wrestling war had started and you were losing until you heard a loud crack.
He shot straight up eyes squeezing shut “Oh Jesus!” He yelled, chuckling as he held his lower back.
“Careful grandpa.” You gasped out as you started laughing “You don’t wanna slip a disk.”
“You-“ but you had already slid out from under him and made to run before he caught you again and pulled you down on top of him.
“Okay okay you win. You win. Oh god, I think I threw my back out.”
You started laughing and took a deep breath attempting to untangle yourself and sit upright to straddle him “So when you kick it are you gonna leave me all your stuff?”
He made a face and closed his eyes “You say the sweetest things to me.”
You gave a little giggle and reached a hand forward to rub his shoulders. He closed his eyes and groaned head falling to the side “Oh my gosh that feels fucking phenomenal.”
“Your pretty beat up here.” You said tracing a finger over the scar from his shoulder operation and the scattered bruises from the game yesterday “How many good years do you think you have left?” He smiled and let out a low chuckle, eyes still closed and rested a hand on either side of your hips.
“However many years I have left, I want to spend them all with you.” A bunch of tiny butterflies started flitting around in your stomach and you smiled very slowly as he peeked at you out of one eye “Pretty smooth eh?”
“For a guy who’s almost halfway to 50 it wasn’t bad.”
He gave your hips a squeeze “Just promise me one thing. If there’s ever a time when I can’t get it up put me out of my misery.”
You gave him a smack and then a kiss.
“Deal.”
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super-sootica · 11 months
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Apparently some people when watching Cunk on Earth don't immediately realise it's a joke because they aren't used to British humour and some Americans actually make dumb documentaries that are meant to be taken seriously??
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Is this why I sometimes get sent outrageous hate for crack posts? 'Screw you, he never said that!'. Are you sure Becky? Are you sure Jesus Christ never said have a hunga bunga birthday?
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thekaykery · 2 years
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[10:46 PM]
pairing: jeon jeongguk x fem!reader
category: smut
word count: 518
rating: 18+
warning(s): dom!bf!jeongguk, sub!gf!reader, cursing, pet names, praise, a blowjob, cum play(?) (if showing him swallowing it counts)
notes: happy birthday to my favorite boy in the entire world. thank you for making me laugh and smile every day. without you, i would not be here. thank you for saving me. ❤️
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"Jesus Christ."
His moan sends a shiver down your spine. You pounced on your boyfriend the moment he entered the apartment.
Over the past few weeks, Jeongguk has been getting sexier, his black hair growing out to the bottom of his neck, his tattoos continuing to multiply on his arms, his body toning and strengthening itself.
You really couldn't resist.
Especially when it's his birthday.
"Y/N," Jeongguk rasps, his hand tangled in your hair while you bob your head up and down his length, dragging the flat of your tongue along the underside of his cock each time you lift upwards. "Fuck, baby…"
You hum lightly around him, your hand stroking what you can't fit in your mouth. Jeongguk had been blessed with a glorious girth and size, and your untrained throat won't be able to fit all of him. This is only the third time you've ever blown him. Sexual intimacy is still a new development in your relationship, since you've only been dating for about 6 months now.
"God, you're so fucking good to me," Jeongguk groans, his head falling back on the couch. His hips lightly buck up into your mouth, his thigh tense beneath your free hand. "Such a good fucking girl, sucking me off on my birthday. Is this my birthday present? Hm?"
You gaze up at him with your wide eyes, unable to answer with your stuffed mouth, simply whimpering around him in response. Jeongguk lightly yet breathlessly laughs, and it transforms into a low moan when you hollow your cheeks, his tip resting on your tongue, the suction causing him to shake above you.
"Shit, baby…" Jeongguk hisses, holding your head still to frantically slam his cock into your mouth, the sudden abuse to your throat making you gag. "Relax, shh…"
Screwing your eyes shut, you focus on releasing your reflex, which helps slightly, his tip sliding past it with some ease. His noises leave him in a broken mantra, creeping closer and closer to his orgasm.
"Where do you want my cum, baby?" he croaks, glancing down at you questioningly. You lock your lips around him tighter, which has him whimpering. "Christ, so fucking good to me, letting me cum down your throat like the good girl you are…"
A few more thrusts, and Jeongguk finally unravels, a high-pitched mewl slipping out of him as his load spurts from his tip, releasing inside your mouth. You grimace at the bittersweet, salty taste of his cum. It's a flavor you'll never get used to. When his softening cock slides out of your mouth, connecting your lips to him with a string of saliva, you display your cum-sodden tongue to him, which has him humming in satisfaction.
You take a moment to swallow – with some struggle, of course – then show Jeongguk your clean tongue this time. A smirk fixes itself on his face.
"Such a good girl," he coos, leaning forward, grasping your jaw to kiss you, promptly weaving his tongue between your lips, tasting himself. "Thank you for the present, babygirl. I promise I'll return the favor on your birthday."
© thekaykery 2022
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rekiilysm · 2 years
Text
ETHEREAL: Ch1
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.
⇨ 「pairing— steve harrington x fem!henderson!reader」
⇨ 「a/n— heyo! in honor of 100 followers and my birthday, i’m posting my steve harrington fic onto here! it’s also on my wattpad @/hookedfor_wdw. also you guys asked for it, so here ya go! enjoy!」
⇨ 「warnings— some cursing but that’s it」
⇨ 「word count— 2.3k」
CHAPTER ONE: THE VANISHING OF WILL BYERS PT. 1
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   "Something is coming. Something hungry for blood," Mike says, getting us all on the edge of our seats. "A shadow grows on the wall behind you, swallowing you in darkness. it is almost here," he says looking at us.
   "What is it?" Will asks looking around at all of us.
   "What if it's the demogorgon? Oh jesus, we're so screwed if it's the demogorgon," Dustin mumbles worriedly.
   "We're screwed, oh we're screwed!" I exclaim wiping my face with my hand.
   "It's not the demogorgon," Lucas spat at us.
   "An army of troglodytes charge into the chamber!" Mike exclaims before slamming a figurine on the table.
   "Troglodytes?" me and my brother Dustin both ask at the same time confused.
   "Told ya," Lucas remarks at us, making me glare at him.
   "Don't speak so soon," I say to him before turning to Mike.
   Mike turns around nervous, "Wait a minute. Did you hear that? That.. sound? Boom.. boom.. BOOM!" he slams his hand on the table, making all of us jump. "That didn't come from the troglodytes, no, that.. that came from something else," he says suspiciously. It's gotta be the demogorgon.. "The demogorgon!" Mike slams the demogorgon figurine onto the table, causing havoc between the four of us. Mike watches us amused at our panicking.
   "We're in deep shit," Dustin mumbles and I nod.
   "I knew it.." I whisper to myself before looking at Will.
   "Will, your action!" Mike exclaims to Will, making Will shrug.
   "I don't know!" Will says panicked, definitely feeling the pressure.
   "Fireball him!" Lucas yells to will, hoping that Will will fireball the demogorgon.
   "I'd have to roll a 13 or higher!" Will panics, not knowing what to do.
   "Too risky. Cast a protection spell!" I say to the shaken boy.
   Lucas looks over to me annoyed before looking back to Will, "Don't be a pussy. Fireball him!" I glare at Lucas before turning to Will again.
   "Cast protection!" I exclaim over Lucas' banter.
   "The demogorgon is tired of your silly human bickering! It stomps towards you.. boom!" Mike says to me and Lucas mainly, but to everyone. We all start to panic more.
   "Fireball him, Will!" Lucas yells at the poor boy.
   "Another stomp. BOOM!" Mike shouts again to us as a warning.
   "Cast protection," I say a bit softer to Will, hoping to calm his nerves a bit.
   "He roars in anger!" Mike yells as we all glance at him before looking back to Will worriedly.
   "Fireball!" Will exclaims before throwing the dice. They roll onto the floor, making us scatter to find the dice. "Oh shit!" he hollers before ducking down to look for the missing dice. I groan, knowing that i lost the small fight with Lucas.
   "Where'd it go? Where is it?" Lucas says before all of us get up to look for the dice. I crouch down on my knees and start searching for the dice.
   "I don't know!" Will says, not taking his eyes off of the ground. His hands moving across the floor, trying and hoping to feel the dice underneath his hands.
   "Is it a 13?" I ask, continuing my search for this stupid dice. But the 'stupid dice' was the key and possible hope to defeat the demogorgon.
   "I don't know!" Will says again, a bit more aggravated.
   "Where is it?" Lucas groans, annoyed that we can't find this piece of plastic.
   "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" Dustin exclaims panicked, his eyes glued to the floor.
   "Mike? Mike!" we hear a voice holler from upstairs; it was Mike's mother, Karen. We ignore the yell, still looking for the dice that determines our future in this campaign.
   "Can you find it yet?" Lucas asks Will, still searching for the damn dice.
   "No, I can't find it!" Will exclaims, making me nod and sit on my knees.
   "I can't find it either," I say to the boys, making them sigh and groan.
   "Mike!" Karen Wheeler yells again, this time opening the door to the basement. Mike is standing at the bottom of the stairs, still looking but also looking up to his mom.
   "Oh my god! Oh my god!" Dustin yells, running a hand through his hair. I sigh and do the same, getting my hair out of my face.
   "Mom, we're in the middle of a campaign!" Mike yells to his mother from the bottom of the stairs.
   "You mean the end? Fifteen after," she says pointing to her watch before walking away. Mike runs up the stairs after her while we continue to look for the dice.
   "Oh my god! Freaking idiot!" Lucas exclaims before running a hand over his face.
   "Why do we have to go?" Will says sadly, wishing we could stay longer. Will ducks under a table gasping, making us all turn to him. "Oh i got it! Does the seven count?" he asks as Lucas looks at him and shakes his head.
   "It was a seven? Did Mike see it?" Lucas asks Will, Will shaking his head. "Then it doesn't count." I sigh and walk over to my backpack. I place all my belongings back into it before zipping it up tightly.
   Dustin picks up a pizza box, "Yo, hey guys. Does anyone want this?" He opens the box and holds it up. We all shake our heads, making his sigh before walking up the stairs.
   We all get our stuff together and head upstairs, biding Mrs. Wheeler a 'goodbye' before walking out the door. I go to mike's back carport, grabbing my bike from where it was standing, waiting for my brother.
   "There's something wrong with your sister," Dustin says to Mike while walking over to his own bike.
   "What are you talking about?" Mike turns and asks Dustin.
   "She's got a stick up her butt," he says to Mike, making me snicker and nod.
   "Yeah, it's because she's been dating that douchebag, Steve Harrington," Lucas spat with a snicker. I roll my eyes at the thought of the king of the school. Sure, he was an asshole, but he wasn't always one. We never talked, but I've 'known' him since elementary school; he never saw me though.
   "Yeah she's turning into a real jerk," Dustin says annoyed at the thought.
   "She's always been a jerk," Mike replies to Dustin. I shake my head.
   "Not always, she used to be pretty cool," I say and the boys look over to me. Me and the boys hop on our bikes getting ready to leave.
   "Like that time she and Y/n dressed up as elves for our elder tree campaign," Dustin says to Mike.
   "Four years ago!" Mike exclaims to my curly-haired brother.
Dustin shrugged, "Just sayin."
   "Later," Lucas says before peddling off to his own home for the night. We all bid our goodbyes as well before riding off to our house. Will stayed back for a moment, but eventually caught up with us. "Goodnight ladies," Lucas snickered before turning into his driveway.
   "'night, shithead," I say to Lucas, making his roll his eyes at my response.
   "Kiss your mom 'night for me," Dustin smirks at Lucas before Lucas rolls his eyes and puts his bike away. We ride away from Lucas' house, "Race you back to our place? Winner gets a comic," Dustin says to Will.
   "Any comic?" Will asks Dustin, raising an eyebrow. Dustin replies with a 'yeah' before Will speeds up ahead of Dustin. I chuckle, hoping that Will will win.
   "Hey! Hey! I didn't say 'go'! Get back here, I'm gonna kill you!" Dustin exclaims to the small brunette, who is already way ahead of Dustin.
   Will passes our house before yelling, "I'll take your X-Men 134!" I laugh, glad that Will won. Dustin needed to get rid of some of his comics anyway.
   We stop at our house with Dustin panting, "Son of a bitch."
I laugh and pat Dustin on the back, "Let's go to sleep kiddo." He nods as we pull our bikes into the carport and lock them up for the night. "I hope Will made it home safe," I mumble to Dustin.
Dustin patted me on the back, "I'm sure he'll be fine." I nod as we made our way into our house. Mom was fast asleep on her recliner watching TV with Mews on her lap. I bend over and place a light kiss on her cheek. Dustin made his way to his room, shutting it for the night. "'night sis," he says to me and smiles.
"Goodnight Dusty," I reply before walking into the kitchen, opening the cupboard. I grab a cup from it before closing it, then I walk over to the fridge and get some water from it. I down the water slowly, my throat dry from all the yelling and hollering at tonight's campaign. As I finish my water, I place the cup in the sink and fill it up with water.
Sighing, I make my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth. After doing that, I walk over to my room, which was right across the hall from the bathroom. I close the door behind me before stripping out of my clothes and putting on my clothes pjs. I'm so tired, I thought to myself before walking over to my comfy bed. I pulled back the comforter, sliding in between my sheets comfortably. I pull the duvet and sheet over my tense body, making me relax. I tug on a stuffed animal Dustin got me for my birthday years ago, cuddling into it before closing my eyes, falling into the deep void of sleep.
———
I woke up from the phone ringing in the other room, I groan before making my way into the living room to answer it. I groggily stumble through the hallway, my eyes barely open, not even seeing my mother and little brother at the kitchen table. I pick up the phone, "Y'ello?" I say tiredly into the phone.
"Y/n?" Joyce's worried voice spoke from the other side of the phone.
"Joyce? Is everything okay?" I ask, a little more awake now that I heard Joyce's panicked manner.
"Uhm, yeah. I was just wondering.. did will spend the night over there last night?" She asks, making me a bit worried myself.
"No, me and Dustin saw him go home. Why? Is everything alright?" I ask Joyce, getting a little bit more worried.
"Yeah, I'm sure he went to school early is all," she spoke, sounding like she wanted that to be the case.
"That makes sense. If you need anything at all, please call. I'll always be in touch , Joyce," I say, making her nervously chuckle.
"Of course, thank you, Y/n," she says, and before I could reply, she hung up. I look at the phone suspiciously, raising an eyebrow at Joyce's weird behavior. I shrug, putting the phone back.
"Who was it, Y/n/n?" mom asks me curiously.
I turn to her and walk over to the table, "Just Joyce. She was wondering if Will stayed over.." I explain to mom and Dustin. I look over to my brother, "She seemed worried. Make sure to check on Will when you get to school." Dustin nods as I sit down next to him. I grab some cereal that was on the table and pour it into my bowl, grabbing the milk once I got the amount I wanted. I pour the milk in the bowl, grabbing a spoon as soon as I put the milk down. I glance over to the clock by the oven, seeing that i woke up a bit late. "Oh shit, we're gonna be late," I say before shoveling down spoonfuls of cereal.
"Language," mom whines as I finish my cereal.
I push my chair back and get up, "Sorry momma." I walk over to the sink and fill up my bowl with water before setting it down in the sink. "I'll wash it later," I say before running off to my room. I quickly open my drawer, grabbing a pair of baggy jeans and a random shirt. I throw them on, along with my socks and shoes. I then open my door and run into the bathroom and brush my hair and teeth. After doing so, I grab my backpack and rush into the living room, only to see Dustin finishing his cereal as slow as he possibly could. "C'mon kid! We're both going to be late!" I exclaim before grabbing my keys off the counter.
He groans, "Okay, okay, woman, jesus!" he grabs his backpack and I blow a kiss to mom.
   "Bye mom, love you!" I exclaim before rushing out the door. I jog over to the drivers side door before unlocking it and hopping in. Dustin gets in the passenger side, sitting his backpack in the back seat. I turn my key in the ignition, making the car roar. I toss my backpack to the back seat before turning around.
   "Y/n, chill! We're not going to be late, just chill out," Dustin soothes me, trying to calm me down.
I sigh, "You're right, Dusty." I gently pull the gearshift in reverse, pulling the car out of the driveway and into the road. I groan, "I feel like today is gonna suck." I say to Dustin, putting my chin against the steering wheel as I drove down the road to our schools.
"Why?" he asks, turning to me with an eyebrow raised.
"I don't know, I just feel like something's wrong," I reply, my gut feeling deep as I continue to drive. I hope i'm wrong about today.. I think to myself, hoping that everything will go smoothly and be safe and sound at school.
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lostfirefly · 14 days
Text
WIP
Thank you for the tag @be-not-afraid-gg for Wip-Wednesday. Let it be Wip-Friday :)
Most works do not yet have a title, and the draft may be slightly rewritten.
Welcome under the cut!
Buggy x Reader
Buggy got sick
Reader: Could you please stop whining, Buggy! You're driving me crazy already, otherwise I'll pour soup into your bed
2. Draft name "In the morning - Reader" (another attempt to write nsfw, hehe)
3. Daddy Buggy!
He and the reader have a daughter who brings her boyfriend to the ship to meet her father.
-Why is he holding her hand? -Jesus, Buggy. She's 18! -And what? That doesn't give him the right to hold her hand!
4. Sad Buggy (reader decided to leave him).
I love you, my silly clown, but I want to make you sad :)
5. Buggy is looking for a reader (this idea came to me into the dream, where I was kidnapped and Jeff was looking for me).
6. Reader's birthday!
7. Buggy's birthday
8. Buggy is trying to safe a reader (another dream where Jeff almost asked Avengers to help him. haha)
Buggy Bear x Cathie-pie
The bowling fic (it will be posted soon) - long fic, about 5000 words
Buggy screwed up and Catherine demanded to take her to the bowling club
"What? Afraid I’ll ruin you? You chickened out?" Buggy cackled.  "I never chicken out, you brute. How many points do we play for?” She crossed her arms.
2. After the airport (nsfw)
Catherine decided to stay in Cairo because she understood that she fell in love with Buggy. Now you will see what I see in my head after chapter 10 of my original Egyptian series :) First sex, Buggy is confused and overthinking.
"Oh fuck!" Catherine quickly pulled out some tissues and wiped her mouth. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest. "My silly clown."  "I'm listening, my Cathie-pie." Buggy placed his chin on the top of her head.  "Take me home, please."
3. After the prison (fun).
Catherine takes Buggy, Cabaji and Mohji from the prison they ended up in after drinking and forces all three of them to clean their apartment.
"In my defense, I stole the cake for you, baby." He chuckled. “But this nice lady took it away.” He nodded towards the officer.  “Oh, thank you! You stole the fucking cake for me. You are so caring! Should this make me feel better, idiot?” 
4. Catherine is sad, because today is her parents' death anniversary (angst + fluff).
Buggy decided to stay with her to cheer her up
"Do you regret anything in life? For example, that you once didn’t leave one red-haired girl in the desert and in the end she stayed with you?" “No, I don’t regret this at all.” Buggy was silent for about five minutes, stroking her back. "Swimming." 
5. Catherine will help him with makeup (pure fluff and fun).
Catherine happily bounced her feet, squealed softly, and dipped the brush into the powder. Sticking out her tongue, she ran the brush over his face with concentration.  "That's it... Yes? Look!"  "Oh my god!" Buggy looked at himself in the mirror and saw his face covered in a thick layer of white powder. "What is it? Cotton candy, let me ask you, how old were you when you were wearing makeup?" 
6. One day or another he is gonna ask her the main question (this fic was written a long time ago). After the story with Larnie our blue-haired boy put this idea aside.
7. They are gonna meet her aunt (two chapters)
8. And they will also assemble the bed!
9. Buggy b-day
10. Their first date (after nsfw)
11. Catherine will meet Cabaji for the first time
12. Catherine will visit Buggy's show for the first time
There's a good chance we'll celebrate Buggy's birthday twice! With the reader and Catherine.
Also I want to try to write a fic, which was inspired by our text messages with @gingernut1314.
Sanji x Reader (pure fluff) are cooking dinner
No pressure tags: @tiredemomama and @operationroots
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simperoniandcheese · 2 months
Text
Just For Us- TJ/Cora (The Good Cop)
Just For Us
simperoniandcheese
Summary:
Cora and TJ have secrets. This is one of them.
Tall and tan, and young, and lovely,
The girl from Ipanema goes walking,
"God, Caruso, change your alarm already, it's driving me insane," Cora groaned, burrowing deeper into the mattress.
TJ chuckled, and leant over to silence his phone before settling back into the sheets, gently peeling them back until his wife's face was looking back at him.
"Think that's annoying?" He smiled, to which she tilted her head in amused confusion. "On the morning of my 18th birthday, Dad changed my alarm--he switched the English segment around with the actual start of the song, which is in Portuguese. I thought I was losing my mind."
"Jesus, that does sound like Tony." Cora replied, her voice straining as she stretched, then returning to normal as her head came to rest on her husband's lap, where he began to softly caress her hair, the tips of his teeth showing in a brisk grin as she reached back to cup his cheek with her free hand, the other pinching, grasping at the hem of her singlet.
"Do you think we should tell him, though? About..." TJ frowned a little, trailing off.
Cora's hand on his face slackened, and her other hand went up to the now-noticeable slope of her stomach, where it stayed as she breathed, her expression one of deep thought, and TJ's mind went into overdrive, the cogs of his brain tick-tick-ticking as he spilled out. "I-I mean, we don't have to, it's your choice, I--" but eventually stopping as he caught her withering look.
"Assuming we're 17 or so weeks along, it won't be too far ahead before everyone in the force cleverly deduces that this little goblin here isn't just a case of going ham on the takeout." She sat up to nearer his level, her focus so clear like a mirror on her face he could've smashed it with a hammer.
Although, he thinks bemusedly as they lean into each other like magnets, as the younger guys in the squad would put it, I "definitely smashed" something else entirely to get to where I am now.
Nevertheless, TJ nods, gesturing for her to go on as she shifts her head against his collarbone.
"My point is that there's not much point trying to hide anything soon. I'm thinking we could just tell people straight off, with none of that Hollywood-type 'we're pregnant!' shit."
"That sounds good, I think." He trembled slightly, his words cutting out with a nervous bob of his Adam's apple.
"Shit-I didn't mean to stress you out, TJ, I'm sorry," She gasped, grabbing his hands firmly. "I want you to tell me if something's bugging you, 'kay?" She looked into his eyes, her pupils almost entirely swallowing her irises because of the lack of light that was in the bedroom.
"I'm just terrified that I'll slip up and everything will be ruined because of me. You know me, I make horrible decisions 80 or 90 percent of the time, and screwing up is even less of an option because now there's gonna be our child in the picture," He stressed, 
She cut him off again with the type of hug that silences. 
"Okay, okay. Think of this as that one Star Wars movie where Darth Vader's wife is pregnant and he's like 'you're gonna die in childbirth, nooo', and she doesn't actually, she's killed by him because of his anger and evil, the very evil that sprouted from the fear he had of not being able to save her." Cora articulated with a squeeze of her hands in his, and he looked back at her with a mildly concerned expression.
"...I've only watched the original trilogy, Cora." He exhaled.
"Well now you've watched the prequels. Anyway, I wanted to show you something I bought," she told him, a certain something sparkling in her eyes as she led him down the stairs and to the small table, where a small box was lying.
"I have a feeling I'm going to be pleasantly surprised," TJ remarked with a small smile on his lips.
"Open it, open it," Cora giggled, her face aglow like she knew something he didn't. (Which, to be fair, was exactly what it was.)
"I hope it's not a razor, Burl got me that as a little joke one ti..." He faltered, his words, all that he was going to say, gone in a flash. 
It was a mug. A mug that said "#1 Dad". He felt himself tear up a little, as his brain apparently hadn't woken up to the fact that yes, they were bringing a child into the world.
Out of love.
Him and Cora.
"Thank you," TJ choked out, at a loss for words. 
He opted for the non-verbal approach instead, pulling her into his embrace tearfully and pressing his lips against hers, and he was crying and she was crying and all he could muster was a small sob while she patted him on the back softly, her voice whispering into his ear.
"You're gonna be the best dad,"
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katesmemes · 1 year
Photo
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feel free to change any pronouns, etc. || may contain some nsfw!    
“Thank you, Captain Obvious.”
“SWEET JESUS!”
“If I want your praise, I will ask for it.”
“YOU POISONOUS BITCH—”
“You are threatened by me.”
“Y’know what, I feel sorry for you, because y’know what you’re gonna have on your deathbed? Nothing and no one.”
“We are happy… So happy.”
“[Name] and I are just two people who weren’t supposed to fall in love, but did.”
“Why aren’t you taking notes?”
“Okay, I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, but I’ll do it.”
“People need to think that we’re in love.”
“I can pretend to be the doting fiance, that’s easy.”
“We just got here. Can we wait two seconds before we throw the kitchen sink at each other?”
“[Name] and I are getting married.”
“How a man proposes says a lot about his character.”
“This woman’s about as subtle as a gun.”
“I call it the baby maker.”
“Those are the pajamas you decided to bring to [location]?”
“If you touch my ass one more time I will cut your balls off in your sleep, okay?”
“It was a little bit of a shock to find out that you’re getting married…”
“I owe you an apology.”
“I feel sorry for you, [Name].”
“If that’s what makes you happy, [Name], I got nothing to say.”
“Y’know what, apology not accepted.”
“[Name] can be a bit overwhelming at times.”
“What did you do?”
“Haven’t slept with a man in over a year and a half…”
“I went into the bathroom and cried after [Name] called me a poisonous bitch.”
“You really haven’t slept with anyone in eighteen months?”
“Out of all of that, that’s all you got?”
“You are a very, very beautiful woman.”
“Are you wearing makeup?”
“I’ve had [number] birthdays, I don’t need another one.”
“They’re not gonna find out, it’s okay.”
“It’s not like we’re gonna be married forever- We’ll be happily divorced before you know it.”
“Mind telling me what the hell’s wrong?”
“I just needed to get away from everybody.”
“Would you mind telling me what’s happening now?”
“I forgot what it was like to have a family.”
“I’ve been on my own since i was [age], and i forgot what it felt like to have people love you.”
“I’m… I’m just screwing it up—”
“Your family loves you, you know that?”
“I don’t think that hijacking a [vehicle] is a proper way to express your frustration!”
“What the hell were you thinking? Could’ve gotten yourself killed—!”
“[Name] is never to hear about any of this.”
“You sure about this?”
“See you in the morning?”
“What’re you doing?”
“Turns out it’s not so easy to ruin someone’s life once you find out how wonderful they are.”
“This was my fault.”
“What were you thinking?”
“Let me get my head on straight, okay? I’ll explain everything later.”
“Well, that was, uh…crazy.”
“Are you okay?”
“She just makes me a little crazy.”
“So you’re just gonna let her go?”
“I think I’m having a heart attack.”
“You two need to stop fighting.”
“Well then, the spirits can take me.”
“Scared the hell outta me…”
“I have a little favor I need from you, buddy…”
“Sorry, man, there was nothing I could do…”
“I need to talk to you.”
“I used to dream about you getting hit by a cab or poisoned.”
“I told you to stop talking.”
“Things changed when we kissed.”
“I’d like to date you…”
“Trust me, you don’t really wanna be with me.”
“See, the thing is, there’s a reason why I’ve been alone all this time. I’m comfortable that way.”
“I think it would just be a lot easier if we forgot everything that happened and I just left.”
“I’m scared.”
“Aren’t you supposed to get down on your knee or something…?”
“I’m gonna take that as a ‘yes’.”
“He still hasn’t warmed up to her.”
“You can tell by the way she drinks a soda-pop that she’s a good dancer.”
“Could you do that again in English, please?”
“What’s her favorite color when she’s not at home?”
“What relevance does a ball in a net or a Fruit Roll-Up or a Pop-Tart have to do with my relationship with [Name]?
“Is this a game show? I don’t understand what…”
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cobrakaisb · 2 years
Note
here to request: birthday boy briss + “this—” [points at their chest] “—this belongs to you. always.” pls and thank you :) 🫶🏼
yes of course
"i just don't know what to do! you never tell me how you feel!" you shouted, throwing your hands up in frustration. "i didn't realize that you needed me to tell you every damn thing y/n! jesus christ!" he replied, voice getting progressively louder. "i do when it pertains to me! when you make me look like a fool, then yes brendan i want to know what the fuck is going on," you replied, shaking your head.
"you know what. i think i'm just gonna go sleep at y/f/n's tonight. when you figure your shit out call me and we can talk," you said, grabbing your keys and sweatshirt before leaving the small apartment. brendan stood at the counter, watching you go, but he didn't make a move to stop you.
that fight was days ago, and he has yet to pick up the phone and call you. he called everyone else, but not you. "and i don't know what to do," he finished, recounting the story for the third time as he talked with thomas on the phone. "do you still love y/n?" thomas asked. "what the hell kind of question is that bords? of course i do. y/n has my whole heart," brendan answered. "i think you need to tell y/n that," thomas said, hanging up the phone.
now, brendan was standing at y/f/n's door, flowers in hand. he knew that they wouldn't fix anything, but it was still a nice gesture. "what?" you snapped, opening the door. "can we talk? please?" he begged, and his disheveled state pushed you to agree.
"i know i screwed up okay. and i understand that i need to be more open about my feelings with you instead of just letting everything bubble up. but y/n, i need you to know that this," he said, pointing to his chest, "this will always belong to you."
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urlocalsadkid-l · 5 months
Text
tw
it’s getting really bad again. i just can’t stand to be around right now. the want to die has gone down a bit.
it’s more of a ‘i could really go for a nap right now’ or ‘i really don’t want to be around people, i’m going to sit in my room’ when things used to be ‘jesus i dropped my drink i’m such a screw up i need to just die already’ and ‘if i spend one more moment around these fuck-faces someone’s going to end up dead (whether it be me or one of them’
is this improvement? i’m not sure.
i mean i still do want to die, but as a whole not at a random mistake a made, you know? like i wish i could go to sleep and not wake up, or someone break into the house and kill me while i’m home alone, or when i’m at school somebody shoving me a little too hard and i hit my head. just the ‘as a whole’ stuff.
i honestly just think i’m tired.
you know, my birthday is coming up. it’s monday. i wanted to be dead by my birthday. the last few months i’ve gone to bed and hoped and hoped and hoped that i would never wake up, i don’t want to make it to this day. i hate celebrating my birthday. i guess all we are doing this year is having a dinner on the 13th. which isn’t too much. on my real birthday, my mother has a show. she feels really bad about it, but honestly i’m glad. i’ll be able to spend the day by myself (we also have the day off of school.). i don’t have to people at all. technically i don’t even have to respond to peoples texts. i don’t have to do anything.
i’ve only hurt myself once in the new year and that was on the first day. seven days clean. am i proud of what i did? no. am i proud that i haven’t relapsed in these seven days? yes, very proud honestly.
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rabbiteclair · 2 years
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my proposal is: Christmas has gotten too big for anybody's good. so what we're gonna do is, we're gonna chop it into two separate holidays. we're gonna start calling Easter Christmas Part 2, and also move it off of Sunday to make it a for-realsies holiday
the benefits of this approach are:
a new 'schools shut down and people get time off work' kinda holiday in that long grind between New Year's and Memorial Day.
businesses are much less likely to play Christmas music for two months leading up to a half-Christmas
but also Christmas songs about snow, which is like fucking 50% of them, are not applicable to the April-dwelling Christmas 2, so maybe people will mix it up a bit instead of continuing to just barf out the Classic Boomer Christmas Jams. jingle bells... but it's about dirt bikes instead of some shitty sled
Halloween and Thanksgiving get to reclaim valuable October/November territory from the Santa menace
'Nightmare Before Christmas' sequel with Jack Skellington learning about Independence Day, murdering the Founding Fathers, and sewing their flesh into a new skin for himself before he starts making horrifyingly explosive homemade fireworks
peppermint bark will be sold in stores for a like six-month period, yum yum
balances out the two major christian holidays in importance. I am still moving it (the holiday formerly known as Easter) off of Sunday though. that part isn't negotiable. look people are already celebrating Jesus's whole death-and-resurrection thing by telling kids that rabbits shit plastic eggs full of Reese's Cups. compared to that, moving it to a Tuesday feels pretty negligible
if you're in a relationship, you have one Christmas to spend with each partner's family. if you're single, you have one Christmas to visit your family, and one Christmas to get drunk and play video games
presents will be more evenly distributed throughout the year so December birthday kids don't get screwed over as badly.
this distribution also means much lower peak travel and retail demand. half the businesses in existence won't warp their entire financial model around milking Christmas for money, and traveling anywhere in mid/late December will no longer be a hell nightmare.
conservative anchors and talk show hosts have been talking about the War on Christmas for so long that at this point it's only fair for me to commit the actual warlike act of slicing Christmas in half with a zweihänder. (this part may be metaphorical but if at all possible I will track down and bisect a physical incarnation of Christmas to make it happen)
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canirove · 1 year
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Professor Rice | Chapter 1
Summary: It is Veronica’s last year at uni. After partying maybe a bit too much the previous one, she wants to be focused and not struggle again. Especially not when to finish her major, she will be needed the credits from one of her most hated subjets: Science. But because that wasn’t enough already, her professor happens to be one of the most handsome men she has ever seen. Professor Rice.
━━━━━━❃━━━━━━          
"What are you looking at..." Madisson stopped mid-sentence to look at the door. "Oh my sweet baby Jesus!"
"Can he be my lab partner? I promise to be good" I laughed.
"Babe, that's not a classmate. That's our professor."
The professor... that's our professor. I'm screwed!
Author’s note: This story is a very special one, because I didn’t write it, a friend of mine did. It was my birthday present from her a couple of years ago, and that’s why the main character was named after me 😁 She got inspired because when we saw the photo of Declan that I’m using on this chapter’s header, I told her that with the glasses he looked like an university teacher 😅
If you’ve read any of my other stories, you’ll probably notice that our writing style is a bit different, but I hope you still enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you for reading! 💜
Next chapter
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Veronica's POV
On my first day back at uni, I woke up feeling like an anxious mess. I was in need of one of Jo's pep talks.
After I showered and got dressed, I went into the kitchen to find my best friend cooking my favourite breakfast: banana pancakes with chocolate chips. I don't deserve her.
"Good morning, gorgeous. I made you some breakfast" Jo said while placing my plate and my cup of tea in front of me.
"Have I ever told you that you are my favourite person in the whole wide world?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Jo said, rolling her eyes. But I could see a little smirk on her face. Josephine knew this was the only way to get me to eat something before class on my first day, so she woke up extra early to get everything ready.
"You ready for this, V? I know you worry too much, but this year you have fewer classes and it shouldn't be as stressful as last year, ok?"
"I guess... I do have some classes that I can't keep avoiding. Like Science. Ugh, I hate Science" I groaned. Why do I have to take more Science classes?
"Veronica, don't be silly. I'm great at Science, I'll help you out if you need it." Of course, Jo to the rescue.
"I know. I just don't want a repeat of last year".
The end of my second year in Uni was a rollercoaster. I might have enjoyed my party time a bit too much, and when it was time to catch up on everything that I had to study... well, saying that it wasn't fun was an understatement.
Jo and I spent multiple nights awake studying, and I managed to get good enough grades to keep my scholarship. I’d liked to think I've learnt from those mistakes. But Jo and I had already been invited to three parties, and we still haven't found a way to say no.
"Veronica!" Jo screamed.
"What?" I said, covering my ears. She knew I didn't like loud noises so early in the morning.
"Stop daydreaming, peach. We need to go. Oh God! You've barely eaten." She immediately grabbed a napkin and put two more pancakes on it. "You can eat this on the way to your first class. Have fun. Love you!"
"Yes, mum. Bye, mum." I couldn't help but tease her as I left to go to hell. I mean, today's classes.
These next 9 months are going to be the worst of my life...
Two classes down, two to go. And it was finally time for the worst of them: Science. I knew I had to get these credits from this Science class to finish my major, but I also knew I didn't have to be excited about it.
My least favourite part of first days was teachers making a big deal out of everything. As if university wasn't overwhelming enough. They felt the need to talk about every single detail of everything we'll be doing for the next few months, and I always left feeling just a bit dumber than before that class started.
As I made my way to my seat, I saw Maddison was already there. Maddie and I were good friends but had never been in a class together. She was also very good at Science, so being next to her in this class sounded even better than it normally would.
"Hi Maddie" I said while sitting next to her.
"Hi Nica! We finally get to be together in a class. Only took us three years" she laughed.
Maddison always called me Nica. Apparently, there was a singing contest she watched as a kid with her mum, who is from Spain, and her favourite contestant's nickname was Nika. So she couldn't help but call me Nica. It was cute, to be honest.
"So," Madisson started, "have you heard about the new professor?"
"New professor? What do you mean?"
"Well, there was this two hundred-year-old man who has been teaching this class since before dinosaurs went extinct, but he finally retired and we are supposed to be getting a new professor who is a hottie. At least according to some classmates of mine that had him in their first class today." Madisson, of course, started to wiggle her eyebrows while telling me the story.
"A hot professor?" I laughed. "Not in this class, please. I struggle with concentrating enough as it is."
"Oh, c'mon. A bit of eye candy never hurt nobody."
The class was about to start when the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life walked through the door.
"What are you looking at..." Madisson stopped mid-sentence to look at the door. "Oh my sweet baby Jesus!"
"Can he be my lab partner? I promise to be good" I laughed.
"Babe, that's not a classmate. That's our professor."
The professor... that's our professor. I'm screwed!
Declan's POV
Why is teaching a class in front of one hundred students more daunting than being in front of thirty thousand people at a football pitch?
"Hello class. I'm Professor Rice, and I'll be teaching this course now that Professor Richards has retired. Now, I don't want to overwhelm you on the first day talking about everything you're supposed to do in the next few months, but I do want to talk about how I plan on organizing these first weeks of classes. So pay attention, I don't like repeating myself".
Did that sound confident? I bet they can all see how much I'm sweating underneath this suit. Why did I wear a suit in August? God! I'm a mess.
"So, next week we'll do a small test." I could hear complaints already. "Relax, this won't count for your final grades. I just want to know how to organize the study groups and to check who might need more help. My office is always open for anyone who has questions, ok?"
I then wrote all the topics that will be covered on the test on the board. My handwriting was worse than usual because I was trying not to show how nervous I was.
All for nothing, because the day had been going really well so far. All the students in the first two classes seemed excited to have a younger teacher in their class. Even a couple of girls asked me where my office was. I didn't expect that.
You can do this, Declan. You can do this!
"So, any questions?" I asked, and then saw a couple of hands being raised.
Once I answered the questions, I kept on explaining how the course was going to work. It's not that I didn't want to be a harsh teacher, but I was in their place only a couple of years ago and I felt like I got how they felt better than a sixty-year-old professor could.
Also, I really wanted them to like me. The footballer in me craved that praise and love. It's not easy retiring when you are eighteen while your best friend goes onto winning all the trophies. But hey, this was a good job, and I would make the best out of it.
While the students left the class, I noticed many of them staring at me. Including a cute redhead who blushed when our eyes met. Wait, why was I thinking about one of my students as cute? I had actually noticed her during class, she kept on frowning at most of the things I said. And she was constantly asking her friend questions. Why didn't she ask me those questions? And why did I care so much?
I looked down at my backpack and started to pack all my things.
I need to talk to Mason.
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kenthenugget · 1 year
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How Batching Comics Saved My Life
Jesus its been...quite a while since I last posted onto any of my tumblr accounts. Its not that I didn't forget that I had an account here, its just that I've been busy with school and my drawing Crescent Blue. Meaning any free time I have is limited which results in me neglecting like half of my socials. Comics and college has made doing social media difficult. That and I wasn't sure how to handle 2 out of the 3 tumblr blogs I have. But I've thought that I had use this specific blog for text blog posts, along with drawings I'm working on and stuff like that. Most of it will be a lot of writing type stuff like this so this should be fun. Anyways, onto the topic I wanted to talk about.
I've been drawing Crescent Blue for coming on 4 years now. And those 4 years were spent drawing its first Chapter. Its overly long chapter. I have realized the mistake I made back when I was prepping to draw it back in 2019, where 16 year old me who had never drawn a comic at this scale decided to go out adapting the opening chapter draft which was written to be the length of a double length tv show pilot (because that's how wrote scripts back in the day) without realizing the implications of how many pages I would have to draw, and that maybe I should've done more prep work to make sure I wouldn't be working on it well into college. Because I probably would've gotten burnt out with it after being stuck on it for so long. And that would end up happening when 2021 rolled around. Thanks to mental health struggles I faced through out 2020, which lowered my tolerance to drawing comics which I didn't enjoy, I had drawn a total of 28 pages by going into the new year. Feeling ashamed of that pace, I managed to motivate myself and make it a new years goal to devote more time to my comic and get faster in order to complete my first chapter. This manifested in a couple of ways, from illustrating backgrounds in graphite as to avoid inking them and potentially screwing them up, to manning up and move to drawing it digitally as opposed to traditionally (I did not have access to photoshop or a good drawing tablet when I had started so I did what I had always done and use paper, pencils and inking pens/brushes. However, I would get my XP Pen Artist 12 for my 17th birthday 2 months later, and I would be able to use photoshop at home by early 2020). But what I mostly did was focus on drawing pages more, moving onto the next one after finishing the last one without taking a break. Basically muscling my way through with the expectation that I would eventually get faster. This did not work, and here's why.
This one by one approach isnt bad on paper, and there are plenty of artists out there that drawing comics this way and don't have any issues. For me, the issue I found with this process was that it didnt lend itself very well to spend. Not all pages are created equal, taking longer or shorter to complete depending on the complexity of the drawing. In my experience, there were pages that took only a couple of hours to complete, and others that took days to get done, and this isn't factoring in stuff like school. This aspect brings up the problem with me muscling through pages. There are times where I dont want to work on my comic, and often times after I would finish a page, I wouldn't have enough motivation to get to the next one. But in my attempt to not spend years drawing my first chapter, I would force myself to draw pages even when I didn't want to. This results in numerous cases of burnout and art block, which can cripple you and slow you down, defeating the point of muscling through it all. One notable instance of this I can remember happened in February last year.
By July of 2022, I would've been drawing Chapter 1 for 3 years and as my new years resolution, I wanted to get it done by that time. I had made great progress in 2021, catching up to page 75 by the time of new years, and I felt confident in my ability to get it done that year. That hope was shattered when I did what I had done with one of my pages and complete a future page ahead of time. Said page was the last post I made on this blog which I've actually completed a few weeks ago. The numbering for that page is 148 (was probably lower last year as I did end up adding pages during that time thanks to rewrites). And at that time, I had just passed the 80th page mark. It was then that I realized the implications of what I needed to do in order to get Chapter 1 done that year. I would've had to draw more than double the amount of pages I had drawn in 2021, and given the way I was drawing comic pages at the time, I knew deep down that wouldn't be possible. But not wanting to admit it, I tried muscling through the pages I was working on, hoping that if I pushed myself beyond my limit I would miraculously become faster and more efficient. But that didn't happen. The stress caused by my realization and the refusal to accept it caused me to become more and more agitated, which caused me to make errors and not draw as well as I would've wanted. Said agitation also clouded my thoughts and made drawing more and more difficult as soon as I knew it. I had burned myself out.
I think I've done a good job at laying out why this method didn't work for me, and if I was still drawing comics this way, I would not be finishing my first Chapter this year. And at this point, I would like to take a moment to shout out @the-underground-beauty. If it hadn't been for her, I not have found out about batching and I wouldn't have been even close to ending this long ass chapter. I was in a discord call with them and other art friends I knew, and I talking about ways of becoming faster at completing pages. They explained that they batched multiple pages instead of drawing them one by one like I had. Like, you would do the layouts for one page, then you would do the layouts for the next page, same goes for sketching and inking. This makes it so that instead of dumping all of your energy into one page, you're spreading that work into multiple pages and thus, become more efficient. Now you might be wondering how this would be better than my old method. Wouldn't working on multiple pages at the same time instead of going one by one be worse? In my experience, it's the complete opposite.
Along with the upsides I've mentioned above, its also very flexible in regards to inking/coloring. In the past, I found myself getting board with pages and wanting to move onto the next one but couldn't because I had to finish the one I was working on. I don't need to worry about that with batching. I can go in chronological order or skip pages to come back to them latter. This can be very handy when it comes to complex pages that would take a lot of time to complete. If Im not feeling up for it at that moment, I can just skip that one and come back later once I feel ready. It also points out the most time consuming part of drawing comics, sketching. Inking is one thing, but when you're doing a lot more work when doing the sketches. And depending on what the storyboards call for, the sketching process for a given page can take a pretty long time and a lot of energy. But with the batching process, the energy I would've spent finishing said page with inking and shading/coloring can be better spent on other pages. This means that I would need to worry a whole lot when inking as most of the hard work was done prior.
Batching also helps with putting what you're working on into perspective. Throughout most of my time drawing my comic, I found it difficult to view the pages I'm working on as being apart of a much larger story, rather than on a page by page basis. I would spend so much time on them that I would view the page I was working on as being its own separate thing, unrelated to the pages that came before or after. Batching, in a way, solved this issue, because now that Im working on a part all at once instead of going page by page, it helped me view what I'm working on as being pieces of a story, rather than being their own thing. I felt that the pages I was batching had more unity to them than the ones before it. Its difficult for me to describe this feelings, because I would always get it when finishing a part and rereading it. Pages that would take weeks to complete took more a couple of minutes to read, despite the specific pages taking so much time to finish. I haven't had that feeling after adopting batching as my new method of drawing comics, since every page all at once.
But how has it worked in practice? Well to see if batching was effective or not, I decided to batch the remaining six pages of what would by episode 7 on CB's tapas page. I got those done in a week. And 2 months later in May, I began work on pages 95 through 105 and this was the true test to to see if batching could really be effective for an entire part. I got it done with in a month. The after that wasn't as successful, but I mostly contribute it to external factors that had nothing to do with batching. At the start of this year, I decided to ditch the part by part method and go at the remaining 67 pages of Chapter 1 all at once. At the time of writing this, I'm still not finished with this Chapter yet but I don't expect it to be for quite long. I anticipate on wrapping it all up around June of this year. So with all this being said, I think I can conclude that batching comics has been way more effective in terms of speed. Over a 100 pages over the course of one year, way more than I had in the past with the old method. If I hadn't switched up the way I had been drawing comics back in March of last year, I don't think I would've come this far! Now I am aware that batching might not work for other artists, and that's fine. But if you are in a place like I was and want to get pages done quicker, I suggest giving it a try and see if it works for you or not :)
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