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dwobbitfromtheshire · 9 months

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Wayne was staying with a friend who, unfortunately, couldn't house anyone else, so Eddie would have to continue to stay with Steve while they waited for their new place to be ready. Neither one of them was complaining about it. Wayne decided to prepare Steve for living with Eddie.

"You should know that once he's all healed up, he's probably going to go back to sleepwalking. He does some pretty weird shit when he sleep walks," Wayne said.

"Like what?" Steve asked.

"Oh, you'll find out, son," Wayne replied with a smirk.

"Wait, does this have anything to do with the fact that at the trailer, his lock for his bedroom was on the outside of his door?" Steve asked.

"You'll find out," Wayne smirked and left. "Remember, never wake a sleep walker."

"Okay, that wasn't cryptic at all," Steve said and brought it up with Eddie.

"Oh, yeah, I have no idea what that's about. He's always said he doesn't tell me because he doesn't want to embarrass me," Eddie said, narrowing his eyes. "It makes me wonder if he's fucking with me. I don't think I sleep walk at all."

Shortly after he healed up enough, Steve quickly found out that Eddie did, in fact, sleep walk. Steve had gotten up in the middle of the night to get himself a drink of water when he found Eddie standing behind the kitchen island. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and Steve hoped he wasn't completely naked.

"Just shopping," Eddie said in a thick country accent, his eyes closed.

"Shopping?" Steve couldn't help but ask.

"Baby got bit," Eddie said.

"The baby got bit?" Steve asked, smiling.

"By bat," Eddie said.

"Whose baby?" He asked.

"Our Dusty," Eddie said. "Need meds."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that. I found the ointment and put it on the baby. He's sleeping peacefully. If you go to bed now, I'll show you the cutest little hat Grandpa Wayne bought for Dusty," Steve said, struggling not to laugh.

"Mkay," Eddie said.

He moved out from behind the island and started moving out of the kitchen. Yeah, Eddie was stark naked. Steve tried not to look at his ass as he walked behind him to follow him up the stairs, picking Eddie's discarded clothes as he did so. He followed him into his mother's bedroom and watched as Eddie slipped on one of his mother's flowery nightgowns that she never wore and then fell face forward onto his parents' bed. Steve grinned. He could undress him, put his clothes back on him, and bring him back to his room, or he could leave him there. Steve decided to leave him.

"Quick question," Steve said when he called Wayne.

"He slept walked?" Wayne chortled.

"Yeah, why the hell didn't you warn me that he would do it completely naked?" Steve asked.

"Shit, he usually wears his boxers," Wayne said.

"I guess he did that special just for me," Steve said sarcastically.

"Guess so," he cackled.

"You're a menace," Steve said.

"You know, one time I caught him halfway through the park trying to lure a feral raccoon so he could breastfeed the damn thing. Luckily, I caught him before he could get rabies. I put a lock on the door after that, one of those where you leave the key in the lock," Wayne said.

"Last night, he was shopping for medicine because our baby Dusty got bit by a bat," Steve said.

"Boy must be baby crazy. Well, I figure he's your problem now, son," Wayne said.

"Thanks," Steve replied.

Eddie stumbled in, still wearing his mother's dress.

"What the fuck happened last night?" Eddie asked.

"You slept walked," Steve replied.

"I did not! You take that back!" Eddie shrieked.

"You did. You went shopping in my kitchen completely naked and then put on my mother's dress," Steve said.

"Yeah, right," Eddie scoffed.

"Well, what do you think happened? Do you think that tiny elves kidnapped you, brought you to my mother's room, undressed you, and put my mother's dress on you?"

". . .yes."

Steve groaned and slapped his hand to his face.

"Good luck, you're going to need it," Wayne laughed before hanging up the phone.

Eddie started twirling and squatting right in front of him.

"Ooh, I like the way it swooshes around my legs. I wonder if they have this in black," Eddie said and leaned all the way over to look under the dress, his hair falling forward.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Steve asked.

"Trying to see if I can suck my own dick," Eddie said.

Steve looked at him in disbelief. It was hard to believe that he was going to spend the rest of his life with this guy. He was going to be a part of his life whether Eddie wanted him romantically or platonically. It was going to happen.

Part Two

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie fanfiction #a little bit of a crack fic #wayne munson #he's a good uncle but he's a menace much like his nephew

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thetarttfuldickhead · 4 months

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Jamie announcing his and Roy’s relationship to the world by finding the right date on the “have roy kent and jamie tartt fucked yet” account that we all know must exist and just retweeting it with a “yes :)”.

#roy regrets giving jamie free reign to call the when and the how on the announcement #but it’s also a little hard to be TOO upset #when jamie is clearly THRILLED by and so very smug about the chaos he causes #crack but a little bit it isn’t #will never stop dreaming about the social media stuff that must be going on with those two #all the fics dealing with it are the best #also at the end of the day i'm an rjk truther so keeley ends up in this too somehow #but for the purposes of this post it's all #royjamie #my stuff

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celientjeee · 1 month

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You Got Me In Chains (For Your Love) (Charles/Max & Lando/Oscar, 3.2k, complete)

‘9-1-1, what’s your emergency?’

‘Eh, our friends have cuffed themself to their bed and we can’t get into the house because the key is stuck inside the lock.'

OR: Max and Charles get stuck to their bed and Lando and Oscar have to come rescue them. Which isn't as easy as it seems. - Read here! Big smooch to @fueledbyremembering for beta reading <3

#NEW FIC ALERT #I had soooo much fun writing this silly little fic!#a bit of crack and a lot of fun!#lestappen fic #landoscar fic #from lando and max pov #f1 rpf #celinewrites

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byima · 5 months

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December Prompt 5: drink

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this one comes with a soundtrack

Dec 5, 2015

It’s Saturday night and they’re in a hole-in-the-wall in Tennessee. There’s live music and a lot of friendly drunks. Annabeth is one of them.

The semester will end in a week and they’re in the wrong timezone. He blames Frank, who was always too quick to volunteer them in service to the gods. As far as Percy is concerned, next time someone steals a mythical harp and hides it in Nashville they’ll need to call someone else.

Here they are though, despite logic and his best intentions to finish his last year of school on the straight and narrow. The harp has been returned; they’re in a honky-tonk hole-in-the-wall in Tennessee surrounded by too much leather and tassels, sharing a booth with some drunk twenty-somethings, they’ve lost track of Frank, and the shaggy looking guy on the microphone sounds like Chris Stapleton.

The impromptu trip down south had initially soured his mood, but somewhere between the pancakes they ate for breakfast today, the shrine-ish record shop, and his tangy drink, he had started to enjoy himself.

Percy shares that out loud and Annabeth misses it. He repeats himself and she leans closer because she still can’t hear him.

“What?” Her hand drops to his upper thigh to steady herself when he pulls her to him.

“Dance with me.” His fingers rub into the skin of her arm before dropping to her elbow to pull her to her feet.

“Is that alcohol?” She reaches for his drink, like she’s decided to see for herself.

Annabeth’s shirt is blousy and embroidered and her jeans are tight and his eyes have hardly left her all night. His hands even less so. Add in the cowgirl boots she’d acquired (borrowed– stolen??) at some point this afternoon, it was a look that was definitely getting filed into his favorite fantasies folder.

“No.” He holds the drink out of her tipsy, grabby reach. “Just dance with me. Come on.”

He guides her from behind, hands on her hips as they navigate into the stomping, swinging mix of groups and pairs and solo dancers. She lays her hands over his and there’s an interchange, she’s turning to face him, she’s tugging him to an open spot on the dance floor, he’s falling into the circle of her arms, face in her neck, damps curls and lemon and sweat, his hands overlap low on her back. He lets her easy rhythm guide them in a simple two-step, side to side. She cups the back of his neck and the way she’s looking up at him is almost definitely not fit for public.

Or maybe it is and it’s all in his head (his other head) because the guy on the mic is singing about someone helping him “trim this tree” and he can’t be the only person hearing an innuendo in there.

Annabeth’s face is flushed and her smile is pure joy. “You’re dancing with me.”

Hardly. But he gives a nonchalant shrug and says, “When in Tennessee.”

It’s hard to think about his footwork when he wants her this much.

“Yeah?” She steps back from him, she’s left enough room for Jesus and a disciple between them, their hands are their only physical points of connection. “Got any moves, cowboy?”

It’s probably the alcohol in his system, but he'll tell anyone who asks that the hip-thrusting, finger-gun-pointing move he busts out was just to hear her laugh.

She shrieks. “Percy– oh my gods.” She two-steps back into his personal space, closing the distance between them to nothing as she laughs.

He makes a noise that's both pain and relief at the sudden contact. His hands grab her hips on instinct, thinking about other kinds of contact and rubbing and rhythm.

She turns her back to him and he has no choice but to hold her by her waist and hope she won’t give him that hard of a time.

She doesn’t verbally tease him. She does reach back for his head and kiss him, sweet at first, before parting her lips, catching his bottom lip between hers, he groans when she sucks it, then bites, her tongue–

“Merry Christmas from Nashville!” Someone knocks into his side. It's a lady from the bar’s staff, she’s bobbing and two-stepping to the twangy melody, she’s also holding a cowboy hat out to him. They’re passing them out like party favors.

He’s a little bewildered but he takes it, squishing it onto his head until it feels a little less than absolutely ridiculous. The one she gives Annabeth is pink with fur trim. Before Annabeth dons her own accessory, she twists to kiss him, chastely this time, murmuring, “Definitely your look.”

She settles back against his front, resuming the casual side to side sway they had started with. He can tell she’s distracted though.

He lowers his mouth to her ear. “What are you looking for?”

“Frank.”

He laughs. “You ready to go?”

“I think both of us are.”

#mypjofic #ima's annual december prompt fail #percabeth #percy jackon and the olympians #percy and annabeth #this is the closest i've come to writing crack fic i think #maybe a little bit knot safe 4 werk

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fucktheroyals · 1 year

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I just want a dreamling fic of Hob getting Dream to do terribly human and mundane things. Sometimes Hob's just inviting Dream to do something he was already going to do. Sometimes Hob realizes Dream hasn't done something boring human thing and wants Dream to do it so bad. Sometimes Hob doesn't know whether Dream has done a boring human thing before but he just wants to see Dream doing it. It'd be so cute if whenever Hob doesn't have access to something, upon becoming better and better at navigating the dreaming, he just dreams up the situation there.

—OKAY WAIT THIS LITERALLY JUST FLEW INTO MY HEAD!!! Okay, you know how wives sometimes go with their husband's to golf courses and they literally just sit in the cart. CAN YOU IMAGINE— Dream's with Hob at Hob's place of work and Hob's coworkers/work friends invite Hob to play golf with them and Hob agrees for whatever reason and then Hob's work friends invite Dream along too and Hob didn't even think about it but now he NEEDS Dream to go and Dream reluctantly agrees. In true wifey fashion Dream shows up in full golf attire like he's going to play but just sits in the cart the entire time. I think it could be hilarious.

#I just want scenes of Dream being ///Hob's/// boyfriend/husband/lover #sometimes without him actually being Hob's yet #(for anyone wondering if the wifes do anything else while sitting in the cart. they watch their husbands play and slide into the driver's #seat when their husbands tell them to bring the cart over 👀)#I used to work on a golf course is why I know this. they honest to god looked like they were going to play but never leave the car. I would #need to figure out if they were playing bc I needed to know if they were going to hit or if I could continue working or not #In true Dream fashion he would know everything going on and how to do it but he wouldn't want to upstage Hob and I'm sure he wouldn't wanna #act as if he were bad at it either #I gotta write this fic man jeez. it twirls in my brain constantly.#dreamling #we've gone from conceivably cute and soft fic to dipping our toe into the crack fic waters but no fear all fics I write are crack #at least a little bit

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mell0bee · 7 months

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yall really liked this scene last wip wednesday so here have another little bit of it

edit: heres the link :]

#luz noceda #hunter noceda #i have also figured out that the bestie duo name for these two is #pittwins #which i assume comes from the bird app so idk if ppl actually use it here? we shall see #the owl house #toh #toh fanfic #hunter toh #bee post #bee writes #fr tho im so surprised the last post got 50+ notes #considering that my actual fics usually get like. 3.#so thats cool #i would like to finish this some day. and the last post gave me a lot of motivation but progress is so slow #i have no free time. but its going. so thats good #also u can probs guess the premise of this fic from this little bit which is good (??). its like. 10% a crack fic. just a little bit #wip wednesday #sparkle on its wip wednesday dont forget to be yourself besties

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sherlockruiningmylife · 11 months

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In honor of Merlin trending, I’ve just gone and finished a new fic. I love this fandom so much and this show has my whole heart. Stayed up writing later than I intended just to make sure it could be posted this evening.

Fic is called Becoming a god <--linked there then also if you would rather copy the link it is here (https://archiveofourown.org/works/47813173)

Summary: The knights and Merlin stumble upon a shrine to Emrys in the woods. Merlin realizes, too late, that it may be more than just a simple shrine.

Rated Gen & word count 6,367

#merlin #merthur #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin fanfic #merthur fanfic #merlin is emrys #My writing #god merlin #definitely a bit of a crack fic #its a little silly

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yorshie · 5 months

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#me reading over comments left on fics #no shade they just sometimes crack me up #ok maybe a little bit of smugness when I see people flailing over things I KNEW was gonna be good #but I’m really just happy everyone’s enjoying them even if I don’t usually respond back on spicy ones

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darklinaserver · 1 year

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otp: malghra ⚔️🌑

#this is—for the record—an april fool's joke #malghra #baghra morozova #mal oretsev #crack treated seriously #and also lovingly #committing to the bit so hard it takes a turn into tragic starcrossed lovers and people start writing fic about it #season 2 #2.06 #gifset #by: goatsandgangsters #not that I'm proud of it (okay. maybe a little bit.)

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doonarose · 5 months

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Also, I was genuinely going to be peeved if they had 14 running around nonstop without even so much as a canonical moment to go and have a wank (because he fucking would okay, that he fucks now is canon, deal with it) and now he has tonnes of time and all sorts of opportunities to do dumb indulgent human stuff like wanking and brunch and trying out hobbies (he's going to weirdly love knitting or something, but also might end up one of those old men in lycra that takes cycling too seriously). AND he still nips off for fun little side-adventures which aren't World-Ending but gee-whiz, I know a seventeenth century mathematician and scientist who is potentially (definitely) hot to trot, go try that shit out my boy.

#i am ridiculously pleased at the idea or 14 just going off and having basically a very fun midlife crisis #of signing up to every single group on the community board #and doing some casual fucking that will no doubt get complicated here and there #and sleeping lots and eating lots #goodness get a little bit of pudge about you i'd love it #doctor who #doctor who spoilers #do you have any idea how happy i am to have to tag this as such #like this isn't just bonkers crack fic #this is canon adjacent

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 9 months

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Steve is the first thing Eddie sees when he wakes up in the hospital. Eddie is high on pain medication, and Steve is giving him his soulful puppy dog eyes. Eddie bursts into tears.

"Why the fuck are you so cute?" Eddie asked. "Put those eyes away or get the fuck out!"

"Uh. . ." Steve said and slipped on a pair of sunglasses. "Is that better?"

"No! Wait! Bring them back!" Eddie said and took off the sunglasses before slipping them on his own face.

Eddie smiled and cupped Steve’s face.

"I want to take you out," Eddie said fondly. "But not like kill you, I mean like a date."

"Thanks for clarifying," Steve chuckled.

"I'm slow, I like explanations," Eddie said. "But that does not make me stupid!"

"You are far from stupid," Steve said softly and kissed his forehead. "And when you're sober, we'll talk about that date. I'm sure you'll freak out once you remember what you said."

Some time later. . .

"Oh my god!"

Eddie sat up and groaned when he did. He looked over to find Steve sitting beside his bed.

"You ready to talk about that date. . .big boy?" Steve smirked.

"Yeah," Eddie said, narrowing his eyes. "I've changed my mind. I am definitely going to kill you."

Steve laughed, slipping his glasses back on his face.

"It's a shame, sometimes I like to put out on the first date," Steve said.

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #eddie munson lives #steve harrington #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie fanfiction #steddie ficlet #a baby ficlet if you will #a stedlet #a little bit of a crack fic

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paint-music-with-me · 7 months

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BRO

dont ever listen to a word I say in the tags for only friends bc im literally rewatching the show again all fun and obsessed and then fucking realized that technically mew and sand had one (1) interaction omg - meanwhile on some other posts I'm out here in the tags being all 'oH iTd Be NiCE if mEw aNd SaNd iNtERAcTed'

i can't stand myself - corner me away please it's for everyone's safety

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orcelito · 8 days

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i miss akechi goro so much. maybe even enough to finally finish that ladue chapter 3

#speculation nation #ladue shit #listen hes such an asshole and i NEEEEEEED to channel his voice for a bit again #if this urge persists to tomorrow i'll crack open the fic again. for a little reread.#this will satisfy only approximately 53 people (the total subscribers to that fic)#which ok that's actually a good few people when i think about them as actual people #but it's the least amount of subscriptions i have out of most of my multichapters #EVEN STILL. it's a matter of pride and self-satisfaction.#and god fucking damn i have 18k for chapter 3 already written. i literally just need to close the damn scene up #it's been over a YEAR NOWWWWWWWWWW like holy fucking shit. i need this OUT ALREADYYYYYYYYYYY #ladue chapter 3 i will free you into the abyss. i cannot promise more than chapter 3 but i can promise a chapter 3 at least.#i had a whole plan for the fic but idk if i'll ever be able to write it #considering it's taken like. ... years. between chapters.#it took me 2 years to post chapter 2 and it's been a year now since then. ugh.#see the thing is chapter 3 closes the initial arc of them starting to date. and then there's more stuff.#maybe i'll keep it open just in case the urge strikes me to continue it eventually.#and if it never does. i might make a 4th chapter that outlines the eventual plans i had for the fic. so that people know at least.#ive seen that a Few times for discontinued fics.#....but the thing is i dont want to mark any of my fics discontinued!!!! theyre all my darlings!!! i want to go back to them all eventually #i'll just have to see. if a chapter 4 ends up taking several more years. well. maybe it'll be time to call it there. who fucking knows lol #i'll try to get chapter 3 finished sometime soon though. i really want to have it out already.

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curiosity-killed · 4 months

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Alphabet asks: E, F and Y

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

i mean, I think my various dumb comics are hilarious but. i'm not sure that counts:

lan zhan and jiang cheng 4ever

hua cheng tormented by xie lian's relationship with his foam roller

whipstitch BEAR ATTACK!! (in which i was the art + @lemeute the brains)

i feel like i have to have written some crack/have at least made myself laugh with my fics but scrolling thru my ao3......there is not. much

oh i guess i wrote some juniors crack which sort of turned into crack taken seriously but i'm counting it bc it opens with this:

“I’m going to say it,” Zizhen says abruptly. “Please don’t,” Jingyi says, voicing Sizhui’s own unuttered thoughts. “Why did no one tell us the Yiling Patriarch was so — so handsome?” Zizhen demands.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Both answered here!

fandom ABCs

#wow i forgot abt a lot of voltron fic #i think qotta is a little cracky in that like. two assassins adopt a stray kitten #but also like. it didn't commit to the bit enough to move from fluff into crack #so #really letting down my potential here considering my first ever fic was crack #alas how we forsake our roots #asked & answered #demenior #fandom abc asks

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eemoo1o-animoo · 1 year

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Okay so what if… r!Ciel tries forcing The Undertaker to be his butler, and Undertaker’s like “lol no” and so then he just stabs him with a fork

#i might write this #fic idea #the undertaker #undertaker #black butler #kuroshitsuji #real ciel phantomhive #original post #crack post #shitpost #the manga #fork based crime #kinda imagining him as alois just a little bit ngl

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humane0 · 2 years

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I love the crack fic I got from @mawofthemagnetar

So I will be continously drawing random scenes of cub beckoning the turtles to attack unsuspecting hermits

#Hermitcraft #THANK YOU SNAKEEEE #I love this gift so much ima cry #cubfan135 #hermitcraft cubfan #crack fic #little bit of tmnt #tmnt #they're sea turtles now you're honor

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