i still couldn't say with 100% certainty who the dad is

Hi! I’m still not really over the last episode (and that happy montage in the end i-) and I’m feel confused about what’s part of the episode was fake. I mean the end totally is. But all Chuck scene was superweird too. And sometimes i think that it should be Cas instead of Lucifer and Jack felt him. I mean... confused! How do you feel about that?

Okay so here’s the thing -- this is a multifaceted episode--

BuckLeming, while often herded efficiently by Dabb, can muddy up the textual waters, leave gaps, and things unexplained.

However, that doesn’t account for Showalter’s choices in direction. Dutch shots out the ASS which are typically used to evoke that something is "wrong." Lots of panoramas, tracking shots, zooms and blurs in ways that simply are-not-standard for SPN. Extreme aerial shots.

One might even think “maybe it’s Chuck looking in on them!” but then you realize the same overhead view zoomed out on *Chuck* even and panned out to the horizon again.

One of the early mega-zooms literally zoomed out to The World, even. I’m just gonna gesture people to my tag on that and let them think on that, much less the empty world orbiting on the news or whatever the hell else.

There were *several* Cas-baits, yes. Yes, that was intentional from our actual authors. 

But when it comes down to “fake episode”, here’s where we were at.

15.17-19 run immediately concurrently. At the end of 17, Chuck says this was his ending.

Now, the Winchesters largely derailed that ending, so Chuck was writing new material.

But Chuck is also seeking death. 

He wrote a suicide note in 11. He wrote the story that would end in him and Amara being eradicated. And whatever influence he was exerting forcefully with Michael and Lucifer to bop the story around was all in the interest of seeing his book. One might think “to keep the Winchesters from killing him”, but he was desperate to see what his ending WAS, to know it and experience it and scream after them.

The dour taking of “no one cares” right after “I care(d)” about humanity is its own highlight going on.  But wait, there’s MORE.

When Dabb dropped his pre-episode thing, we started talking before the episode.

So I mean, I think what we were *mostly* witnessing is the pen being ripped away.

But this is that emptiness that lingers even with Chuck generally resolved. They’re still kinda on the pages. The book is presented as shut, and the next steps are not taken. Development stops, if not drops.

This entire thing is so meta my damn head hurts.

Summarily: Is it just like, some weird AU that’s gonna go away? Not so much. Is it an incomplete portion of the story told from a skew? Absolutely. And is there still someone watching over them? T’would seem so. The whole World, even. Beyond Chuck. 

Now the point at which we start blocking off issues of “eugenie writes like she’s 3″ is where we ask about things like “god power” or whatever else being thrown in the mix along with eugenie’s ki ball special effects that are literally always unique to her episodes, even if other people have to add the SFX.

So while it was a good bit of masterful work to do it via buckleming for this style of bump, it still inevitably has its flaws because... buckleming. But... Showalter was there. And one thing to note is almost every single scene entrance had some sort of major pan or zoom effect. That’s not typical for him.

The entire thing is designed to evoke, directorially: 

One style: crooked shots, unlevel, unbalanced, uneasy feeling.

Second style: Over-under; some force is watching them on high, while others have a sort of brechtian absurdity, which seats it like a play on an elevated stage.

We are the audience, looking up at figures half the episode; but a second audience is looking in from “on high” and out over the world. As if perhaps even from the heavens. 

Third style: CSI Miami, basically? Parts of this episode were sectioned off to be like a procedural crime drama in its cinematography and flashbacks. Which is ironic, because Dean loathes procedural dramas, but at the same time some of this fandom demands a procedural monster show instead of a family drama show. 

Sam and Dean barely have any lines in the episode *until* we hit Crime Drama Time. Then suddenly, they reveal all of their case work. Despite Dean’s hatred of crime dramas, this is honestly when I feel like the brothers kicked in their own pen. 

Let’s play a game-- the winchesters are aware they can write their own story. So they start telling the story they think people want to hear, or maybe just fill in the gaps from when Chuck gets dropped on his ass. Maybe Dean’s the one writing about how many times god punched them in the face whereas Sam is breaking down the crime scene investigation front. Another, where it feels like we’re loosely circling the war table as others lightly wander too.

But everything before that is the first and second style, and even after that, the overview-angle remains. The uneasiness is gone but there is an emptiness otherwise. But we are no longer spectators from beneath the stage, but staring into them.

I still very much expect everyone to “die” one more time and several specifics to choose to walk back into life at the end of it.

Is it a *complete* false narrative? No. We’re not just gonna turn around and be like “oh that whole ep didn’t happen.” But the writer lost his pen and got jacked at one point, while we also observed the stage from a series of angles as different audiences.

Riddle me this: Why show the World? “Because it’s empty and just them!” okay but there’s a lot of ways to show that which actually gets that point a whole lot better across than “here, here’s a planet that still looks lit up”--yes I know electricity is still running until stuff runs out but essentially speaking, the end of the episode shows us the kind of dramatic shots that could be used for that.

CASey just poofed in the World in the TV, seems legit.

Let’s see these overhead angles again, knowing it isn’t just Chuck.

This sort of overview is known for causing a “dollhouse effect” that derealizes the episode and makes them seem, well, like toys. Which is interesting. Because Chuck isn’t the only one watching them on high.

Cool, this is fine.

Either way, the entire episode is DESIGNED to cause some major uncanny valley. There’s a lot of parts that simply *haven’t been told or filled in.*  It’s almost like evasive maneuvering, half the content just never made it to print, and what did wasn’t in its best draft. There may be battling authors, or a transition of authorship. But the thing is: this is not the complete story.

There is an entire missing section about Sam and Dean even finding out that Jack is a power siphon which they hadn’t witnessed yet much less arranged an entire plan.

Even Chuck’s episodes are generally told from the general POVs of the Winchesters, but this was absolutely not. 

Matthew 28: 18: And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Put a pin in that one.

Unless CHUCK IS WRITING HIS OWN FAKE DRAMATIC END, the overhead view, however, IS NOT CHUCK PERSPECTIVE.

-- Regardless, the metaness of “fish in a toilet bowl BRL plot” stacked into this makes it very difficult to accurately decipher the lines, especially with only one watch so far--just skimming back through right now to grab a few things I remember.

Some parts are plot salad buckleming.

Some parts are us as forced spectators of a stage play.

some parts are shifting authorship

Some parts are the heavens looking out over the earth it loves.

------

It almost feels as if, within enclosed spaces, unsteadiness and stageplay, we have Chuck’s POV.

But by the end it ceases to have any relevance, as he is no longer the author, and instead, we have the Presence of Being overseeing them, letting the Winchesters argue for their own proverbial pen in their own storytellings between here and there.

ALTERNATE PROPOSAL:

 it is all one point of view. All of it. Pretend you’re someone’s eyes on a situation, you just happen to be in the sky half the time, and the uncanny valley is pulling forward the concept of being a presence that simply isn’t *there.*  For example we're looking extremely closely at passed out dean but the camera turns and raises to level with Sam before Dean gets up. Our viewership lens is rising to meet Sam.

The camera stays in motion to fill a role or slot of a viewer. At first it’s haunting and ominous, but at other times, it’s simply part of the room, when it isn’t hovering from on high. Rather than speaking of empty space, we are viewing The World through that empty space, as if it were a Being.

Just a few more eye catching shots.

But whoever or whatever frames the end, even without Chuck--like the story is still turning on the pages, roughly. 

The montage at the end feels like the Swan Song one, more or less, but there’s no narrator, no chuck.

The writer, the writer we know at least, is Absent.

Men are writing their own Stories.

But they aren’t alone.

I know how you see yourself. Angry and dark like your father. You think that’s what you are. But you are the most loving man in the whole world. That is who you are.

Someone does care. Even if right now, Sam and Dean don’t feel like anyone does.

...Because of you. I cared. For you, for Sam, for Jack, for the Whole World.

I cared.

“That’s not who I am.”

I am.

I speak therefore I am.

Unholy Matrimony Pt. 1 (Nessian)

Nesta’s part of the Damnation Series.

OOF this took so long sorry. I rewrote it, changed it, then deleted it entirely about 9 times. I literally started writing the version before you, from scratch, on Sunday. All parts are linked below, so I’m only tagging people on this version! To go to the next chapter, there is also a link at the bottom <3

ALSO, an important caviat: Nesta is an only child in this one! I originally wrote it for her to be adopted and not know it, but it wasn’t really relevant to the story, so... idk. Just ignore that plot hole I guess.

Parts 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 -- pls like each part I’m insecure

______________________________________________

~Cassian~

“You’re getting married.”

The glass of bourbon halfway to my mouth pauses, because despite being known for being rash and unpredictable, even I’m surprised by the sudden change in conversation.

My eyebrows raise as I look over at Rhysand, my best friend and Capo, trying to figure out if this bastard is serious. His tone says he is, but that doesn’t make sense, because before a few seconds ago, the word “marriage” was in neither of our vocabularies.

He’s been single for as long as I have, although I’m starting to suspect he’s got a bird in the city. He’s too damn happy these days, and the other day I saw him laugh at something on his phone.

Which is weird, because we both know long-term commitments don’t really do well with our lifestyle.

We were raised to not give a shit about anything except the job. We kill without remorse, live in the shadows, and whatever other shitty euphemism you want to use. Settling down in some suburban, picket-fence prison has absolutely no appeal to Made Men.

Don’t get me wrong, most of us get married at some point. But never for love.

Some men choose a bride that’s pretty and sweet. Someone who will donate to charity and help clean up their image. Governors’ daughters, women from old-money families, and social princesses make up this category.

Some men marry to advance their station in the Family. Second sons who will never inherit the business marry daughters of Underbosses to get a nice boost to their status.

And then there’s the ones who are forced to marry by their capo--ie. me-- so they choose whatever attractive woman that’s in the Family and available. Those are always the happiest.

But regardless of the reasoning, marriage in the mafia is heartless, political, and for me, unnecessary.

I know I’ll have to pick someone eventually, but there aren’t a whole lot of desirable options at the moment. Not many of the other Underbosses have daughters that are over the age of fifteen right now, and I have no interest in doing the child-bride thing.

Plus, there’s no way I’d marry someone outside of the family. At my rank, it isn’t an option.

That leaves... a widow?

The only one I know is Ianthe, and considering I highly suspect she killed her last husband and the fact that she’s crazy, there’s no way in hell I’d legally bind myself to her for life.

So he must be joking.

I take a pull from my cigar and look over at Rhys with narrowed eyes. “Uh huh. Sure. To who, exactly?”

“Volchonok.”

The Wolf Cub.

The cigar snaps in my fingers.

“You’re fucking kidding,” I say, honestly hoping that’s the case. He’s either that or insane, and I’d hate to lock someone who’s like a brother to me in a padded room.

Rhysand’s unflinching gaze doesn’t change, but his tone morphs from that of my friend to my boss. “You will marry her, Cassian.”

“She’s a fucking Russian,” I spit, not understanding. That should be reason enough for him to be joking.

In our world, being Russian is a crime similar to stabbing the Pope.

We’ve been at war over New York with them ever since they decided to try and get a stronghold on the east coast, and I’ve killed more of them than I can fucking count. Now I’m marrying one?

“Yes, she is, and so is her father, Alexei Olov.” Aka the Bratva Boss responsible for blowing up half of St. Petersburg last year when the local police refused to buy his weapons. “You will marry her, move to New York full time, and run the city with her by your side.”

“Why? Two or three more years, and we’ll have the city anyway.” Every day the Russians get weaker, and I’ve been responsible for pushing them out of my city block by block.

So there has to be a reason we’re suddenly okay with the enemy.

Rhysand sighs. “It was his idea, not mine. Orlov has agreed to sell our coke in Moscow and Seattle instead of his usual dealer and will supply us all the weapons we need for five years. There will also be no more midnight raids, bullshit arrests on bullshit charges, or missing shipments. He’s offering you a dowry, too.”

I don’t need his money, but the old fashioned term makes me laugh.

“Yeah? And how much does he think his wolf cub is worth?”

His lips twitch. “Ten million.”

“She must be a real pain in the ass, then, if he’s going to pay me that much to take her,” I chuckle.

Not that ten million dollars is anything but pocket change for the man. Orlov may be losing the fight in New York, but the bastard is richer than sin. 

Selling arms to half of the entire world will do that to a person.

“I hear she’s beautiful,” he says, trying to tempt me to not fight him.

“Then you marry her,” I shoot back, not ready to give up the argument.

“I don’t feel like it.” Fucking typical. Rhysand sighs. “You and I both know we can work this deal to our advantage, so what will make you say yes?”

He could order to me to say yes and I’d have to, but he hates enforcing that kind of authority with me.

So I think it over, make a show of lighting a new cigar. “I want Sera.”

It’s a burlesque club in New York I’ve always been a little envious of, owned by Orlov and operated by his men. I’d tried to buy it a few years back but hadn’t had enough leverage on the Russian to strongarm him into selling.

Now I do.

Rhysand--the only one who knows about my failed attempt to buy the place--nods and tells me he’ll make it happen.

“When’s all this happening, anyway?”

He looks like he might laugh. “Wedding is in a month, but she’s flying in tomorrow night.”

A quick laugh forces its way out of me. Also typical of him to give me absolutely no time to change my mind.

Well, I have a month. That’s already longer than any relationship I’ve ever had. 

Sighing, I stand and shake his hand, cementing the deal before I can even lament the loss of my bachelorhood.

~Nesta~

“Chto sluchilos?”

I slide my gaze to my father, because seriously, that’s the stupidest fucking question I’ve ever heard. 

What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Everything.

“Nichego,” I lie, assuring him for what feels like the tenth time as I look out the window. The plane picks up speed and lifts off, taking me towards an uncertain future, an uncertain place.

I might have told him nothing’s wrong, but inside, I’m screaming.

Three days ago, I woke up to find a marriage contract on the pillow beside me. There was a blank space where my name had been typed and a pen waiting for me to remedy that.

I still haven’t.

I’m not signing anything until I meet this... Cassian. 

God, what an Italian name.

An image springs to mind, one of a slumped-over, hairy-chest beast with slicked back hair and a gold chain. 

I know it’s stereotypical and hopefully incorrect, but I’ve never been to Italy and Alexei strictly forbids me watching movies that portray Italians as anything except revolting. 

But looks aside, there’s one thing I don’t need to guess to know. 

My future husband will be like all the other men in my life: controlling.

Men in the world I live in take what they want, don’t ask for permission, and feel like they’re entitled to anything and everything. I’ve dealt with it my entire life, so it’s more amusing than anything at this point.

I guess I’m a bit non-traditional in that sense, considering most of the women around me have no problems taking orders from their fathers or husbands. But Alexei and I figured out pretty early in life that wasn’t going to work for me.

As he frequently likes to tell me, I started telling him to fuck off when I was five.

What did he expect? All the kids I hung out with were the opposite sex and at least five years older than me, so my vocabulary and mannerisms became pretty... colorful early on.

Regardless, I’m just not looking forward to having to deal with yet another man who thinks he can control me.

“Ty vresh',” Alexei accuses, lips twitching. You’re lying. 

“Konechno.” Of course. 

Of course I’m upset, but I understand what’s happening. I might have found out about it three days ago, but I’ve known it was coming for far longer.

As the only child of the great Alexei Orlov, Wolf of Moscow and Pakhan of the Russian Bratva, I’ve been told my entire life that I will one day be used as a pawn to gain more power.

It would--should--piss me off, but I’ve also been told I’m to one day take my father’s place and run his company.

So by gaining more power for him, I’m also doing the same for myself.

Not that I really give a shit about that kind of thing. I started officially working for Alexei years ago, and I already have enough money saved to never have to work again. 

But in the Bratva, there’s no getting out. I was put in this world by birth, and the only thing that will take me out is death. 

In case it isn’t obvious, I’m not a typical business woman. 

My father is an arms-dealer. 

A less than legal one, if you believe the heinous lies the media spreads about him.

He sells weapons to governments, private armies, and whoever the fuck else has the money to buy. 

He’s also built himself a shipping empire to haul said weapons around the globe, runs the drugs and prostitute rings in Moscow, and has enough real estate to rival most small countries.

It probably sounds like I don’t care, and that’s because I don’t. 

I like what I do in the sense that I have a mind for business. I went to business school and graduated at the top of my class, and I enjoy running the clubs and hotels I have. Trained by Alexei himself, I’m ruthless in negotiations, enough so that people started calling me the Wolf Cub by the time I was twenty. 

But despite being good at it, I’m not particularly fond of the aspect most people think of when they picture my career in the Bratva. I detest drugs, have never hired a prostitute, and don’t really enjoy selling arms to bad people. 

The alleyway meetups, the broken bones and bullet holes, and the blown up houses are all a little tiring to me.

Sure, it sounds exciting. And for a while, it was. I used to lose myself in the chaos, used to enjoy coming home with busted knuckles. But I honestly just got tired of it.

Right now, I don’t have to deal with it as much because Alexei’s still alive. But when he dies and I officially take over the family business, I’ll have to be more involved. Even if the thought makes me want to sigh.

I pull out my laptop and look over the financial report for Sera, my newest club in New York. As predicted, everything’s running smoothly. 

I turn the laptop around to show my father, grinning when he pulls out his reading glasses and leans closer. 

“Starik,” I tease. Old man. 

He flicks my forehead, then reads the report and nods. Then he turns to his phone, probably playing Angry Birds or some shit, and leaves me to work.

The plane ride goes by quickly, and by the time we’ve landed in Chicago, I’ve gotten ahead on my schedule for next week, slept, and changed into what I’ve chosen as the “meeting my future husband” dress.

It’s simple and sleek, the black material clinging to my curves without being obscene. It’s long enough to hide the holster on my thigh, not that I feel in any danger with four personal guards stationed near me at all times.

My heels click as I make my way down the plane stairs and across the tarmac to the waiting sedan, and once my luggage and belongings are unloaded, we head to the Italian Capo’s house.

We’re meeting here, finalizing the contract, and then Cassian and I are flying to New York. 

My new home.

“Try to look happy,” Alexei tells me, his heavily accented English almost ridiculous to hear. He speaks English only when he’s in the states, and considering he hasn’t come here since I graduated B school two years ago, he’s a little out of practice.

“I’m ecstatic,” I say, intentionally using a word I know he doesn’t understand.

His eyes narrow, because it isn’t the first time I’ve used this trick, but he doesn’t call me out on it. We continue to ride in ecstatic silence, eventually pulling up in front of the Capo’s... house.

It’s almost obscene to call it that, considering it’s fucking huge. Like obnoxiously huge.

I heave a sigh, step out of the car, and take in my surroundings. The neighborhood’s quiet, likely filled with friends of the Cosa Nostra too scared to make any noise. 

A butler--seriously, a butler--opens the door and welcomes us inside, and as soon as I step in, I have to repress the urge to roll my eyes.

The amount of dirty money in the air is suffocating. It drips off the vaulted ceilings, down the artwork on the walls, across the marble floors. It’s in the little details of the crystal chandeliers and the mahogany staircase. 

Ridiculous.

One look at Alexei’s disgusted face says he’s thinking the same thing.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re rich. Grossly so. Alexei could have ten houses just like this, if he wanted them.

But he doesn’t. He owns property all over the world, but most of it is commercial or apartment complexes--property that makes him money, in other words. This, however, is a massive waste of capital. 

The butler leads us further through the house and into an office where four men wait. 

One is immediately identifiable as their lawyer, his over-priced cologne making me have to resist the urge to sneeze. The humongous man in the corner is hired muscle, if the boxy shape of the guns under his jacket is any indication.

The man behind the desk is obviously in charge, so I’m guessing he’s the Capo. Rhysand or Rhyland or something weird like that. He takes me in silently, bright eyes not seeming to miss any details. 

That leaves the man leaning against the desk to be Cassian Azara.

My fiancé. 

Our eyes meet, his golden gaze beautiful and wild, and I have to remember to keep my expression bored. 

Because the stereotype, the horrible image I’d conjured up in my mind, couldn’t be further from the truth.

For one, he isn’t hunched-over. He stands tall, leaning a hip against his Capo’s desk with obvious confidence. But I see more than just self-assuredness in his eyes. He seems a little too rough around the edges, wild gaze almost like he’s daring someone to swing at him. 

If the confidence didn’t already make him attractive, his looks sure as hell get the job done.

His hairs long and dark and curly, half of it pulled up in a rouge manner that clashes with the suit he’s filling. He has a few days’ stubble, too, like standing still long enough to shave just isn’t an option. 

His shoulders are impossibly wide, narrowing down to trim hips and legs long enough to make him tower over everyone in the room. 

His knuckles are tattooed and split open, and there’s a cut above his eyebrow that tells me I was correct to assume he’s a fighter by nature. 

Usually, that would be a deterrent for me, but there’s something about the way he’s dressed in a dark suit jacket and crisp white shirt while also looking so untamed that has me cocking my head to study him some more. 

He studies me, too, beautiful eyes taking in the long blonde hair and bright blue eyes offset by pale skin. He looks at the dress like he can see everything underneath, and I have the strangest urge to blush. Jesus, he’s toxic.

He’s attractive, is what I’m getting at.

Which is not what I had planned on, considering I’d been trying to think of a plan on how to not sleep with him, but suddenly that’s all my mind can focus on.

His lips twitch like he knows what I’m thinking, and I realize we’ve just been standing here staring at each other for a bit too long.

So I turn back to Alexei and shrug like I’ve seen what my future husband has to offer and aren’t impressed in the slightest. 

I toss the marriage contract on the desk, grab the Capo’s fancy little fountain pen out of his hand, and sign my name on the blank above my name. 

Cassian watches, but I ignore him entirely until the ink has dried. Then I look up at him through my lashes and wink, turn on my heel, and leave the room.

~Cassian~

I think I’m in love.

Fuck.

She hasn’t said a single goddamn word, but the way she looked at me has me feeling itchy all over, anticipation and nerves rolling through me. I feel like I feel before I fight or something exciting happens.

Like I’m primed and ready and need it to happen now. 

Nesta Orlov, my bride to be, is nothing like I expected. 

I was fully braced for some meek little woman, similar to most of my friends’ wives, to come in and smile and say hello. 

But nope. Nesta didn’t smile; she came in like she was walking onto a battlefield. 

And she didn’t smile. She looked me over, clinical blue gaze noticing too much, and left me feeling winded. God, she’s beautiful. Just looking at her made me hot.

She also didn’t say hello. 

Just signed the contract and left, like this was nothing more to her than a boring business deal. I mean, that’s what it is, but... I don’t know, I expected more of a reaction. 

I’ve heard from some Underbosses that their wives cried or raged when they were forced to sign, but shit if that were the case with Nesta. She honest to God looked like she didn’t care.

Alexei, on the other hand, does look a little pissed about the situation, but I couldn’t care less of the old man’s opinion. He’s signed the contract, so to me, he’s irrelevant. Regardless, he and Rhys proceed to iron out some of the details about the wedding and other shit I’m not paying attention to.

Then they shake hands, and the Russian warlord turns to leave. 

He reaches the door and looks over his shoulder at me, and there’s amusement in his cold gaze as he mutters, “Udachi.” Good luck. 

As soon as he’s gone, Roman and the lawyer follow, leaving me alone with Rhys. 

He slides the contract to me, and I sign my name next to hers, making this shit official. 

“This should be interesting,” he comments, vague as usual. 

I sigh, because I have a feeling interesting isn’t going to cover it. 

_____________________________________________________

NEXT CHAPTER

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Fics that inspire my writing - Part II

This is Part II. Read Part I or Part III

Continuing the discussion, I grouped these fics together for something they have in common: author style! It was actually a bit hard choosing them because they are all written by authors who have a distinct style. Something in them that makes you recognise the author right away, that makes you think - oh yes, definitely is a story from this person. When you have a bunch of stories with the same kind of feel, it's hard to choose one to illustrate my point. Tip is: binge read the authors below!

Part II

I Used to Live Alone Before I Knew You by etothepii Back when there wasn't even s2 yet I was already reading stuff from this author. I absolutely love their fics. This one is super interesting, a Good Omens fusion book version - beyond numerous screaming posts on the internet I'm not really familiar with this universe.

Something I like in all their fics and it's worked beautifully in this one is that there's more than it seems under the surface. The characters are not an open book even to the reader, and the narrator (close Sherlock POV) doesn't give all the information. The narrator sometimes doesn't even explain the information we are given. The facts are presented piece by piece, building the layers of a character, making it clear that even if right now, for this story, it's not relevant, this person is a complex human being (or angel. Or demon) that doesn't exist solely for the purpose of the plot. Two factors help with this: the non-linear narrative, that permits we only know a part of someone when it becomes relevant; and the sort of omniscience of Sherlock. I say sort of because yes, he's a demon and he has access to the core of someone. He's able to fish for stuff that happened in someone's life and how they feel about that as a way to build their vulnerability to sin. However, this is not necessarily mind-reading or future prediction. He makes deductions based on the soul, let's put this way. But because he can't use it to predict exactly what is going to happen, he still gets surprised. Because the characters are layered, they are able to be consistent with what we know and yet unexpected, up until the end.

The combination of giving powers to the narrator and using non-linearity is brilliant, working to enhance the themes behind the plot, which are about the complexity of the human soul. I'm working on a WIP that has similar themes and I try to play with these aspects to make it smooth like this story, instead of a philosophical essay using voices of characters. I've tried the non-linear narrative in a published fic, but it didn't have the same level of success in serving the story. Let's see if it goes better when I try again.

What It Is by toyhto This author has two main things going on in their fics: the type of angst that makes you question yourself, and the type of humour that is not really about trying to make you laugh, it's a very weird type of humour. I love weird stuff.

This fic is not Toyhto's best angsty one or best humourous one, but it's one that creates a good mix of both, like a tragicomedy (but without a tragic ending). You have John not knowing how to feel about Sherlock, and Sherlock gambling possibilities on how to fix the situation. It's the narrative that fascinates me. The story keeps its cards close, the reader is often a bit uncomfortable, a bit wrong-footed. You don't know where the story is going (hell, sometimes you don't even know where a scene is going), so you keep hanging up until the end. There's an underlying panic in how characters interact, but it's never hysterical, it's never loud or obnoxious. And then you find yourself snorting in situations that shouldn't have been funny. Life is usually not one genre or the other, so why literature should be? I love that the story never tries to be something (sad, funny, intriguing), and yet it is. It's not easy to pull something like this.

I have a WIP currently on my drive folder where I try to play with this tragicomedy narrative thing. This fic inspires me in trying to keep the reader on their toes all while looking effortless.

Borrowed Ghosts by DiscordantWords DiscordantWords has been out there since 2016 showing how there's more than a way to fix canon. In fact there are multiple ways. This is the author you want to go if you watch the show and think eeh this should have gone a different way. There's probably a story in here which takes the same premise you thought about.

This one is just too incredible. Because it picks up right from a crucial point in canon and said - ok, what if everything still happened, but they actually make sense? For this story consistency is key, and if canon gave us a John Watson making bad decisions while nursing an unreliable brain work, that's what you get. But make it make sense! This is what happens when you are on a roll of bad decisions, this story tells me. This is what happens when you're isolated from what before kept you on track. This is what happens when on top of everything your mind is playing you tricks: they don't just stop because you decided to. That's not how it works. This story acknowledges the bad stuff, but to fix them it doesn't propose miracles, and it definitely doesn't ignore them. We get the consequences but we also get the process of change that is necessary for things to be good once again. Like John says: there's a difference between wishing something happened differently and wishing it hadn't happened at all. But it did happen, so now what?

Make it canon divergence but character consistency and twist it to fix it, it's what inspires me in this fic.

The Ancillus's Tale by Chryse I reiterate that everything by Chryse is a must, but everyone that follows me on twitter had to deal with me constantly gushing about their most recent work for months, so it will be this one here. I just have a lot of feelings about this fic. Oh, yes, omegaverse again, inspired by The Handmaid's Tale.

The one aspect that comes to my mind when I think about Chryse's works is dark themes. If I want to read about fucked up stuff happening, I will go to them. And this particular fix has fucked up stuff from the first to the last chapter. And it's very immersive: you get inside the head of whoever is POV at the moment, Sherlock or John. You get their physical reactions, their thoughts, you know what they know. And the world building is on point: detailed enough that is totally credible, you can see reality becoming that way, but it's not described to exhaustion. We are presented the info about what we need to know, and rest is there, somewhere at your peripheral vision where you know it exists but it doesn't become a nuisance to the plot. But more important than that, it's how the dark themes are treated. It's never on black or white situations, surprisingly, despite the universe setting. The characters especially - they are allowed to have conflicted feelings, they are allowed to misbehave even if they are supposed to be on the good side, they have nuance and complexity. And the cherry on top: just because it has a dark premise, it doesn't mean it can't have a super satisfying happy ending that even brings comfort to the soul after letting it being hurt. We get snippets of comfort, the promise it's going to happen all along the fic, to compensate the extreme suffering the characters are going through. It's glorious.

I have been toying with the idea of writing something on the dark side. In fact my next multi chapter is super fucked up (but as always, with the certainty of a happy ending), and I hope it can see the world soon. I'm writing with this premise in mind: characters are allowed to have conflicted feelings, and they are allowed to misbehave, that won't make them the bad guys.

This was part II! If you missed part I, just click here. Part III is up!

That Time I Wrote an Essay About Gelphie

I wrote this essay at like 1 A.M. so enjoy lmao

Wicked is perhaps one of the most well-known and best contemporary musicals. It's known for its powerful storytelling, outstanding music, and intriguing, morally grey characters. It opened on Broadway in 2003 and is still running today, as well as productions in other countries. However, the standard audience is unaware of the romance-coding (although if you, like me, are a flaming homosexual obsessed with musicals, it's pretty easy to tell) with the characters Glinda and Elphaba.

First and foremost, romance-coding is when two characters of the same gender are coded to be in a romantic relationship. It's often confused with queer-coding. However, romance-coding is a bit different. Characters can be coded as romantic regardless of sexuality, gender, or sex. Neither Glinda nor Elphaba are coded as queer, necessarily, but instead coded romantically. If you want to learn more about it, I recommend Rowan Ellis' videos.

Glinda and Elphaba initially clash, loathing each other. However, the song itself, What is This Feeling, has some rather queer undertones. It was written as a parody of standard love songs, with lyrics such as “My pulse is rushing, my head is reeling, my face is flushing. What is this feeling?” However, both girls come to the conclusion that it’s loathing. While that seems like a conclusive end, it could actually very easily be read as a misdiagnosis of the situation. If one of them were a man, most people would definitely read it this way.

Glinda does most of what she does for the attention and praise, which could be relevant to the line, "Was I seeking good or just seeking attention? Is that all good deeds are when looked at through an ice cold eye?" in No Good Deed. Glinda can be rather shallow, and while she does have a good heart, she is undoubtedly superficial at first.

One of the most important things about Glinda to note is that her first actual good deed she did, not for the approval of others, was dancing with Elphaba at Fiyero’s party while everybody else stands aside and laughs.

However, after Fiyero's party, the too get over their fit of "loathing" and become best friends. Thus, Popular.

Do I even have to explain Popular? I think the line, "Why, Miss Elphaba. Look at you. You're beautiful," speaks for itself. Glinda is the most earnest she's been in the musical during this scene. She hadn't even done much, just taken Elphaba's hair of her braid and stuck a flower in there. I don't think it's that far of a stretch to think she thought this even before Popular.

My next talking point is Defying Gravity. Defying Gravity is possibly the most iconic contemporary musical theatre song. Even those who have never listened to a single musical likely know of this song.

Glinda and Elphaba fight, neither of them being able to see the others perspective. Glinda thinks Elphaba should apologize, get in good with the wizard, and slowly make changes from the inside, even if it means compromising her morals. Elphaba can’t stand to do this.

Elphaba laments about how she’s changed and this is no longer what she wants, and that she needs to make a change herself.

Then, in the main part of the song, Elphaba tells Glinda to kiss her goodbye. How much more explicit can it get? They even kiss in the novel it’s based on, but don’t worry guys, they aren’t gay! It’s totally platonic.

Elphaba asks Glinda to come with her, but deep down, she knows Glinda won’t. Elphaba won’t be happy if she stays, and Glinda won’t be happy if she leaves. So, the two have to let each other go, because at the core of their relationship, they just want each other to be happy.

They are the definition of if you love someone, let them go.

Glinda and Fiyero are soon engaged. Glinda tries to act positive, as she is now a public figure actively advocating against Elphaba, but you can tell in Thank Goodness that she regrets her decision and misses Elphaba more than she will admit.

Some plot stuff happens that I'm going to assume you know if you're reading this essay, and now Fiyero is presumed to be dead and Elphaba fully embraces the label society has given her.

And then For Good happens. For Good is one of the most genuinely beautiful songs I've listened to and I tear up every time. The two women love each other so much, probably more than they want to admit. Whether you personally see their relationship as more platonic or romantic, you can't deny how genuine and pure their relationship is.

Plus, Kristin Chenoweth took the low harmony and every Gelphie shipper started screaming about the symbolism and how they've both changed so much (me. thats me.) and if you weren't already crying, you are now.

Compare this to As Long As You're Mine. It has a haunting sound and Elphaba feels truly wicked for the first time. For Good is simple and honest and truly feels like love.

This is a good segway into talking about Fiyero. Glinda liked Fiyero for shallow reasons; he was a prince and charming, while Elphaba hardly even knew the dude; they saved a lion cub together once and apparently it's true love? I do think that both Elphaba and Glinda loved him, but I don’t think they were in love with him. He often takes second-hand to their friendship and never really builds a foundation of love and caring with either of them.

Then there's a dumb deus ex machina where Elphaba doesn't die and ends up with Fiyero, which was cheap in my opinion. Elphaba's story is a tragedy and the happy ending felt unearned. That's off-topic, though.

Glinda and Elphaba had such a beautiful relationship and so much potential, but it was misused and now I have to write essay's at 1 A.M. instead of sleeping.

Gen:Lock S2:1 Re(cap/view)

There's SO MUCH happening SLOW DOWN. God the pacing is BREAKNECK. They clearly have alot of ground to cover but this episode did it so heavyhandedly. I think the story is interesting but the question is ultimately if they have the time to tell it. But let's just start:

CHASE

MBJs voice acting is better but it's undercut by every single scene of this episode being on TEN with everyone screaming and fighting.

Chase is still afraid of mind sharing, probably even more afraid than before, to be honest. He says he's willing to die for this cause, but he's still 100% afraid of the ego death that continues to threaten him. There's even less escape from this fear now, because he's trapped in his own head. I want him to cry, but he literally can't.

His brand of cynicism is so patriotic. He and Kazu have alot in common in that regard, and ironically its what makes them bump heads. Speaking of:

KAZU

Gonna be honest, if it weren't for the implication that this came from a war propagandist TV show, Kazu's dialogue would make me want to launch myself into the ether. God they're laying everything on thick. These writers clearly know what they want to do, alot of them have worked in comics, but I feel like I'm reading a comic while watching it. What I mean is every single scene is just a drawing, a single unambiguous statement. And your eyes just see the drawing and immediately turn the page.

I do like how dark mind sharing gets. Like they're an unstoppable force when they work together, but that's not always necessarily a good thing.

God his facial hair cut it offfffffff.

VAL/YAZ

Val is fun. That's about all I have to say for him. This season premiere really shows that the two writing teams for the show and the comic were not on the same page about these characters' destinations. Alot of this premiere retcons the HELL out of the comics.

Firstly, Yaz is leader. Idk why Chase is leader in the show. He's not fit to lead. He's too insecure. And Yaz doesn't even feel like part of the team in this episode. Also I've never seen someone scowl so hard at a bunny 😭

CAMMIE

The highlight of the chapter. She wants to look on the bright side of everything, but for some reason it feels vaguely out of character. Like in season 1 Cammie was by in large the pessimist of the team (even though they all are) along with Val, but the both of them seem pretty cheerful this episode which is a bit weird. Honestly everyone had weird vibes this episode.

Retcon #2: Why is Chase living in this crappy old-life-simulator house?? In the comics Cammie built him a serene mindspace literally to get away from everyone else.

HOWEVER, I do enjoy the physicality by which their distraught emotional states manifests. The bunnies everywhere, Kazu's Robo-Shogun. Cammie builds them a comfortable setting for the mind-share to occur, but it gives them even less privacy than before. The rest of them can log off but Chase is physically stuck there, which makes his role in all this unique. Despite the retcons I do appreciate the direction.

CALABAN/WELLER/RTASA

Gotta say, I didn't expect him to still be relevant. I like how he still talks in the third person, but his delivery is a lot less robotic, which I don't love. Maybe he just got used to the robo brain? I dunno I don't like it.

Are there gonna be consequences to violating Dr. Weller-Code's privacy? Like why even bring it up if it doesn't matter? A nitpick but still. God everything moves so fast here.

CHIBI CALABAN MY BELOVED. Clever way to differentiate what Calaban is and what Weller is.

So Leon is just gone? Okay. Sure. Fatima and Wu's plot is also interesting but so much of this show at this point was just off-screen apparently. Fatima sabotaging G:L's development deserved an entire plot of its own. This season started too in media res.

Almost A Thousand Years - Killahead, Part 2 | Hisirdoux Casperan

Plot:  You’ve known Hisirdoux Casperan for almost a thousand years.  You’ve hated him for almost a thousand years.  And for almost a thousand years, you’ve been cursed to feel each others pain.  But somewhere in that time, things changed.  [Hisirdoux Casperan x Mostly Gender Neutral but Probably Female Presenting Based on How Historical Men Treat Them!Reader]

Word Count:  5,258

Warnings: B A T T L E 

A/N:  HAPPY HOLIDAYS KIDS!!!!!  also, i swear to god this was written a month ago, before aaron confirmed the skulls and wizards thing

Taglist:  @furblrwurblr @rainningdoom @fluffydmonkey @blondie0458 @sitherin-mxschief @jinxedleo @lawlesshedgehog @einahpetsyarcip @dolphincommander @sorrels-scribbling @anxious-stitcher @alive-and-afraid @animedweeb333 @douxiesdamsel @saroski05 @justarandomhoman @tales-of-hisirdoux​ @blixeon​​ @yagirlcheesely​

It was about as surreal as you thought it would be.

As a child you were trained to fight; to stab, to slice, to claw, and to bleed.  You were taught that humans were the root of all evil and that the Gumm-Gumms would one day take what was theirs.  Now you were fighting with the humans, the evil, the oppressors, against what had been your home, your people.

And it was going surprisingly well.  It turns out having insider knowledge is very helpful on the battlefield.  You were able to block everything they threw at you, to dodge and weave through their attacks and land some pretty good hits of your own.  Douxie had your back, of course, blue light striking down as many opponents as it could take.  In return, you took out anything that even threatened to get too close.

It was going well.  But it didn’t last.

“WHERE IS THE WITCH SPY?”

“Oh no.”

“(Y/N), stay behind me,” Douxie’s voice was a dull hum against the roar around you, and of course, the screaming troll in front of you.

“JOIN YOUR BROTHERS AGAINST THIS PATHETIC ARMY!!”

“Oh god.”

Douxie noticed the fact that you weren’t even close to listening to him and took action, moving in front of you, striking any Gumm-Gumm soldier who even looked your way.

“RETURN HOME (Y/N) (L/N)!”

So, that was it.  That was what had kept you in the dark as a traitor for at least a hundred years.  The very sentence that made you avoid Britain with all your strength.  The thing that drove a wedge between you and the man you now loved.

Four words were all it took.

“(Y/N)??  (Y/N), love, please, answer me!”

You jerked your head, snapping back to reality.  No matter what events were relevant to your personal history, there was still a battle going on.  You had to keep fighting.  You struck down another few Gumm-Gumms just as Douxie used some of Archie’s fire to dispose of another, another few.

“Ha, I've always hated those twits!”

“Valid!” you cried as you ducked under an opponent’s strike.  You took out their knees, rising again, just in time to see Morgana descend from a sky wormhole.  Just what you needed.

“Night has already fallen.”

“Oh, really?  Couldn’t tell.”

Douxie rolled his eyes at your sarcasm, but you could see the grin on his face.  That boy loved you and all of your shenanigans.  You were shaken from your thoughts, however, when Morgana started firing spells into the crowd, yeeting her magic around with reckless abandon.  

“Morgana’s returned!  She’s enemy number one!”

“Go!” Jim yelled, “We’ll hold the bridge!”

“Hisirdoux, with me!  I-You!” oh no, he was talking to you, “I take you in as my apprentice, spare your life from the sword, and this is how you-”

“Master, they didn’t have a choice!”  Douxie grabbed your hand, pulling you behind him as if to shield you from Merlin’s wrath, “It was a matter of survival!”

“Survival!  What-”

“Please, Master, let them help.  If we leave them here, any of the nights might try to attack them!”

“And why should that matter!  They are a traitor, are they not?  Death on the battlefield is more merciful than anything they might receive after the battle is won.”

“I won’t let anything happen to them,”  Douxie’s voice was calm, but you could hear the anger behind it, “(Y/N) has proved their loyalty to me hundreds of times. They’re more than capable and I trust them with my life.”

You broke from your reverie, eyes painted with concern.  How could he trust you so easily?  Why did he, even after everything that had happened?  This shouldn’t have come as such a shock to you.  He did love you, after all, and yet, you still found yourself surprised by this revelation.  You couldn’t help the hesitant smile that crept onto your face as you squeezed his hand slightly.  He really did love you, didn’t he?

Merlin grumbled something, probably regretting that binding spell right about now, before motioning for you to follow him.

You cast a wave back to the kids, a silent wish for their luck, before you ran after Merlin, your hand still entwined with Douxie’s.  He didn’t let go until you reached a small group of ruins, at which point you, your wizard and the old man stood, backs facing each other, all of you peered out into the darkness.  Archie flew above you, dragon eyes finding nothing out of the ordinary.  Not yet, anyway.  You kept your sword out in front of you, and you could tell that Douxie was doing the same with his brace.  You had no idea what Merlin was doing, but you never did, so that wasn’t a big deal.

“I feel dark magic.”

“It means she’s close.”

You and the familiar both gasped as something ran through the trees.  A chill made its way into the woods, surrounding you and raising goosebumps on your skin.  You felt your heart begin to race as strange echoes continued to ring out through the air.  They soon morphed from a collection of noises into a laugh- Morgana’s.

“An old man, a foolish boy, and a traitor; lost as always.”

Your small group moved slightly, scanning the forest for any sign of the sorceress.  You could feel her presence, but there was nothing there.

“Do you dare run… or face my vengeance?”

Oh.  There she was.

“Um, is there a third option?”  Archie asked, sounding much too calm for the situation at hand.  You couldn’t blame him though, you would have done the same.  But you weren’t doing the same.  You were looking over your shoulder just as a collection of roots shot out at you.  Thanks to your little turn, you had an advantage, cutting the offending plant parts before they could get to you.  Douxie and Merlin, however, were not so lucky.  The latter was pulled to the ground and stabbed through the shoulder with a particularly sharp root.  He barked out an order for Hisirdoux to run, which he could not do because of the roots clinging to his shoulders.  You used your sword on what you could, and a blast of green energy from Merlin took out the rest.  A little anticlimactic if you ask me.

Despite your escape, Morgana cackled, even as Douxie fired spell after spell at her with little success.  While he made his attempt, you helped Merlin to a standing position, a task that became easier when Douxie rejoined you at the old wizard’s other side.

“Merlin, you’re injured!  Badly…  (Y/N), is there anything-”

“Hisirdoux, if I should fall this day…”

Merlin handed his former apprentice a scroll, one which was covered with notes and instructions about building a tomb, and the heart of Avalon.  Your brows furrowed as you read over Douxie’s shoulder.  That wasn’t ominous at all.

“Why are you giving us this?”

“Foreseeing the future means preparing for the worst of it,” he glared at you for a moment, and you wondered what exactly he could see.  He clearly hadn’t seen your act of treason coming, but there were other things that made you wonder.  Your thoughts were interrupted by more ominous Merlin content, “That includes your wounded friend.”

“Jim?  What about him?”

“The corruption in his heart has no cure.  When he returns to the future, it will overtake him.”

Oh.  Oh.  

Oh no.

You’d had your suspicions, but hearing it from the master wizard himself brought it to another level of reality.  There was no cure.  There was no solution.  You were going to go home, and you were going to kill Douxie.  Or you’d try to, at the very least.  Maybe, now that Douxie was a master wizard himself, he could do you both a kindness and kill you where you stood.  

…

Yeah, no.  He wouldn’t be doing that anytime soon, but a witch could dream!  You feel his hand on your back, a gesture meant to comfort you that only made you sick.  How he still cared about you, even after all of this would confuse you for years to come.  For now, though, you just accepted it.  There wasn’t time for much else with an evil sorceress on the prowl.

“No, no there must be some other way!  I made a promise to them, to Claire, to get them home alive, all of them!”

“Yet, to save time itself, you all must return home, even if it means James Lake will be no more.”

That wasn’t exactly a pleasant thought.  While a distance stemming from your past had momentarily sprung up between you and the kids, the gap between you had since closed.  You loved those little monsters like they were your siblings, and you’d do anything for them.  The thought that Jim would have to die, to make another sacrifice when he’d already given up so much, was just another thing that killed you inside.

“And there’s no other solution?” you tried to keep quiet despite the rage that boiled inside you, not at anyone in particular, but at the situation as a whole, “There’s no way to fix this that doesn’t get Jim killed?”

Merlin shook his head, but you didn’t need that confirmation.  You already knew the answer.

“Such is the burden of a wizard,” the old one spoke as your small group made its way deeper into the night, “To make the hard choices mortals cannot,” he grunted, slouching forward slightly, reminding you that you should really take a look at that stab wound at some point.  Merlin, however, paid no real mind to this, instead, continuing his little monologue, “Now it is yours to bear.”

You looked away from your wizard companions to see a giant skull, lodged between a rock and… well, another rock.  Some may call it a canyon, you called it fucking ominous and terrifying.  The skull was lit from within, orange light seeping through the space where eyes had once stared out into the world.  You wondered, for a moment, how these old bones had ended up here, and how they had stayed.  What was the last thing this being saw?  Was it the sky above, or the ground below?  What could kill something as large as this?  You didn’t ask your questions.  It didn’t seem like the right time.  

And really, it wasn’t time for anything other than nerves and anxiety.  Without a word, you followed Merlin across the rocks until he stood in front of the skull, on top of an odd sort of contraption.  You stood a few steps behind, safely off the weird cage thing.

“Morgana, reveal thyself!”

Before you could question the logistics of giving yourselves away, a portal, ringed with gold and made of shadows appeared, releasing the queen of the apocalypse onto another rock.  Yep, that sure was an evil sorceress.  Just what you needed at this time of night.

“Look what has wandered into my web,” nice starting point.  Threatening, but not over the top.  You cast your sarcastic thoughts aside for the moment, as valid as they were, preparing yourself instead, for a fight.

“These are dark powers you medal with, Morgana.  Who granted them?  Who resurrected you from death?”

“Wizards beyond your ken,” ah shit.  Just as you suspected.  ‘Wizards beyond your ken,’ was mysterious witch for ‘The Arcane Order.’

And then she was gone again.  Dope.

“So, uh… we should head into the big skull of doom?” you asked, eyebrows knit together in a mix of concern and confusion.

“Yep, let’s go.”  You and Douxie nodded at each other before helping Merlin scale the rocks and get into the skull, asking Archie to stand watch for a moment, just to secure his safety.  He agreed only once you’d promised to call him if things got rough.  

Inside of the first skull, you found a second, slightly smaller skull.  What the hell was it with magic dudes and skulls, huh?  Morgana had this as her lair, the Arcane Order’s ship was a skull, Douxie had his whole vibe and Merlin kept skulls in his office.  Shit, even you kept bones around, though you were a doctor and arguably had the best excuse.  Your thoughts ran wild as you examined the space around you, but they were interrupted by the reappearance of your least favourite murder-witch.

“Morgana!”

The two wizards prepared for battle, but you hesitated.  Something was wrong here.  Morgana was crying, no-sobbing.  You recognized this, whatever this was.  You’d seen it in yourself back in the 1300s.  Yep, something was wrong alright, and judging by this, someone was probably dead.

“It’s your fault!” She cried, “You’re the reason Arthur is gone!” 

Oh, so you were right.  That didn’t really explain how Arthur’s blood was on your hands though.

“What?”

“Gone?”

“Uh, guys?  It kinda sounds like the King is dead.”

Your companions had no time to respond as Morgana rose through the air, seeking misplaced revenge instead of proper justice.  She fired a spell at the three of you, which Douxie ran to shield you from.  Merlin joined him a second later, limping towards the younger wizard with your help.  The second he stood on his own, your magic joined theirs.

“She’s too powerful!  We have no choice but to seal her away!”

“I know.  I’ll try to buy some ti-”

Douxie was cut off when Merlin knocked you both clear across the room and out of the way of another spell, one which left the old wizard in chains.

You felt the impact that Douxie suffered and you were sure he felt yours.  Nevertheless, the two of you pulled yourselves up just as Morgana started on another speech.

“Oh, shame!  Little Douxie finally gets his staff, just in time to die with it!” 

She aimed her next attack at him, but you interfered, knocking her away with a shield made of your magic.  

“And you!  Traitorous little wretch!”  you weren’t exactly sure which treason she was talking about or who she learned it from.  You’d betrayed a lot of people over the years, she’d have to be more specific, “Why do you still fight alongside them?!”

You knocked away another attack before answering, “The shorter one is cute!”  With that, you went on the offensive, landing a kick to Morgana’s stomach and striking her again with the butt of your sword.  Your small victory didn’t last long though, as she struck back, the impact slamming you into the opposite wall and probably cracking a few of your ribs.  You’d have to apologize to Douxie for that one.

Morgana scoffed at you, looking down at your crumpled figure as you struggled to stand, “Only a fool would fight for love!” 

Her voice may have contained a little more rage than was necessary, and she may have been projecting a little bit, but she didn’t have time to say anything else.  Douxie handed a few hits with his staff, using surprise to his advantage, and holding up surprisingly well despite the pain you both were in.  Morgana turned her taunting onto Douxie, mocking him as they fought.

“You can’t even wield it!” you winced as she landed a hit, “You should stick to your usual tricks.”

You bit your lip as she struck him in the face- twice.  This really wasn’t a great day for either of you, was it?

“Use the power of your staff!  Make it your own!”

“Please, Douxie.”  Your voice was quiet, and there was almost no way he heard it.  Hell, you weren’t even sure what you were asking for, but in the next second, his staff turned into a fucking guitar so that was probably it if you had to guess.  Or maybe it was the next second when he avenged you by smacking Morgana in the face with said guitar, sending her flying across the room.  You knew that as a doctor you shouldn’t hope for someone to crack a rib, but this was an exception you were willing to make.

“What?!”

“BABE!  THAT WAS HOT!!” you yelled, too shocked to say much else.

“Bleeding balroths!  This is nuclear!” your wizard said, spinning the staff around.

You couldn’t help but laugh at that as you pulled yourself up from the ground.  Of all the things Douxie had ever said and done in his life, that had to be the Douxie-est.

“Did you just strike me with a-a lute?!”

“Uh-uh-uh-uh.  No, uh-uh.  Spellcaster guitar, darling.”

You weren’t exactly sure what the fuck he just said, but you were 110% there for it.  He played a lil’ riff on his staff, and you had a very brief mental debate on whether or not that took the throne for the Douxie-est thing he’d ever done.

“Needs tuning though.”  He continued to play the riff for a solid minute, and you weren’t sure what was funnier.  The fact that this was, in fact, something that was happening, or how Done Merlin looked with literally everything at that moment.  It was both.  Both was good.

“I meant make it your own weapon!”

Douxie finished playing just in time to shield himself from another of Morgana’s attacks, “Well, this is technically an “axe!”  

“You are a huge geek!”

“And you love it!” your wizard yelled, playing again while running from Morgana, looking for an opening while avoiding a volley of spells.  He was right.  You did love it.  That’s why you were going to help at the next opportunity, your (and technically his) poor ribs be damned.  

“Hisirdoux!  This is no time for dreadful music!”

“Dreadful?”

“Absolutely infernal.”

“I mean, I thought it was good!”  you yelled, launching your own round of spells at Morgana, making it harder for her to land a hit on Douxie.

“No worries, this is just the opening track!”

“What do you hope to do?  Blow out our eardrums?”

“Well, pardon me if this rock is too freakin’ awesome for your medieval sensibilities!”    You had no idea how he did it, but he managed to land on one of the light fixtures (of all things) while you weren’t looking.  You couldn’t really see him from where you were, but you were almost certain that he was doing the sign of horns and sticking out his tongue.

“Enough of your noise!”  Morgana cried, blasting you to the side quickly before returning to her real fight.  You were lucky that this blast was not as strong as her first.  You were able to roll out of it without causing any real damage, a benefit to both you and Douxie.  Speaking of, your wizard found himself locked in a Harry Potter-style duel, two magics facing off against one another in a single stream.  It was not looking too good for your boi though.  He seemed to notice this, and jumped from the light and returned to physical combat on the ground.  Unfortunately, that did not end well either, and you bit back a cry as Douxie was thrown through the room.  Yeah, things were looking rough.  Time to call in the cat calvary. 

You swore you were only gone for a moment, but in that time, Douxie managed to get himself pinned against a wall.

“Do not fret, Merlin.  You’ll find a new apprentice to replace him.  Are people not dispensable, after all?”

“Ok, go, go now!”  you whispered to Archie, your tone intense, which was fair considering the situation.  The familiar did as told and flew at the witch, sending her fling off balance and keeping her away from Douxie.  Arch did a quick loop near Merlin, tossing the wizard his staff before circling around to land on Douxie’s shoulder.  Merlin and Morgana began their fight as you ran to your wizard and his familiar.

“Nice work my dudes, you think you can keep it up?”

“Probably!  Arch, light me!”  you liked the sound of that. You liked the sight of it even more as blue flames encircled Morgana, trapping her, and allowing Douxie and Archie to make their final attack, keeping the sorceress in place.

“Hurry, I can’t hold her that long!”

“Don’t worry, we’ve got this,” you said, voice quiet as you threw your own spell at the witch from below.  Hopefully, that would make things a little easier.  It did.  Douxie was grateful.  

“You have lost yourself, Morgana!  Bound to dark magic.  I have no choice but to seal you away!  Sigilia infractum!”

It seemed to work for a second, but then, for like, the third (?) time in that battle you were blasted back, Douxie fell with you and hit the ground harder.  

“Man, this sucks,” you whispered as you pulled yourselves up, going to Merlin’s aid.

“Master!”

“She’s too powerful,” he groaned, “You have to finish this, together.”

“We can do that… we can do that!  Let’s go!”

You and Douxie moved in sync, matching each other’s movements exactly.  Using his staff, Douxie’s blue magic replaced Merlin’s green while yours froze the witch again, keeping her from attacking you.

“Sigilia infractum causera!”

Finally, the blast from the spell did not hurt you, instead, it did as it was supposed to, trapping Morgana.  You let your own spell ease up, instead, lending whatever strength you could to Douxie, God knows he would need it.

“I will destroy you all!  No matter what it takes, no matter where you go, I will end all that you love until you feel my agony!”

“Yeah, you aren’t the first person to threaten that!  Come up with something original, then we’ll talk.”

The witch roared and threw a spell in your direction, but it disappeared into a shadow edged with purple.

“Hey!  Hands off my teachers!”

Oh, Claire!  Claire had found you somehow, that was good.

“I swear on all your lives, I shall rise again!”

“Already seen it,” the girl cried, throwing some much-deserved sass Morgana's way, “You don’t win.  See you in 900 years!”

And with that, the spell was complete.  Claire opened another portal, dragging Morgana into it.  With that big historical event over, your adrenaline failed you and you staggered forward.  That was pretty convenient considering it let you catch Douxie, who was doing much worse than you were.  You noticed his eyes rolling back slightly, which was a cause for some alarm.

“Hey, heyheyheyheyhey, stay with us, you nerd, don’t pass out on me,” you weren’t sure you could handle the stress if he did.

“Douxie!  Are you okay?!”  Archie and Claire moved in, the former knocking Douxie back and licking his face relentlessly.

“Ugh!  That’s-that’s disgusting!”

You and Claire both laughed at this, glad that at least this part of the fight was finally over.  Douxie stole a glance at you and wondered if he had somehow died during the battle.  How else could there be an angel before him?

“Well,” he turned his gaze from your smile to Claire with only minor difficulties, “I think we just saved history.”

You sat back, all fears forgotten for now in a moment of relief and elation as you watched your boyfriend give the girl a high-five.

“And you took down a ninth-level sorceress.”

“Damn right,” you giggled, which was new, but not unwelcome.  You turned to Douxie, “Sharp work, samurai.”  Your friends rolled their eyes at your antics, though they did it out of love.

The excitement calmed for a moment, allowing Archie to speak, “Merlin would be proud.”

“Yeah, if he wasn’t out cold.”

“I mean, it’s not a great look for him, but full transparency?  I could probably take a three-hundred-year nap right now.”

Douxie laughed, but he wrapped a hand around yours and whispered, “Please don’t.”

You squeezed his hand, a silent promise that you would not answer your problems with sleep.  Not today, anyway.  To be completely honest, the problem immediately at hand could be solved rather quickly, by you, at least.

“Anyway, Merlin’s still been stabbed, so I’ll just-”

Fortunately, this was just a stab wound.  No magic, no tricks, no possession, just medicine.  That was what you knew, it was what you could deal with.  It was over too quickly.  Was that a thing you could say?  Could you wish for medical treatment to last longer?  Was that something you could do?  Not to mention that he was your boyfriend’s surrogate dad, which just made things complicated.  Either way, it was over too fast.  You returned to Camelot, mourned the dead, said your goodbyes, and that was it.  Time was up.  You had to go home.

Home.  What even was home now?  You knew the answer.  Home was Douxie.  Wherever he was, you wanted to be.  He made you feel safe, feel loved, feel every good thing that humans are supposed to feel, but-  To save the world, to save his life, you would have to leave him.  There was no other choice, either you stayed in the past and everyone died, or you went back to the future and risked his life by staying with him.  You had to go.  As soon as you got back, you’d have to run.  You didn’t know where, to-to Spain, or Japan, or Cuba, Vietnam, Egypt, France, somewhere, anywhere, just to keep him safe.  You didn’t want to do it.  You just wanted to stay by his side, forever, if possible.  But that was the thing.  It wasn’t possible.  And that broke your heart.

And if possible, these gosh darn kids were going to break you even more.

“Everybody, ready yourselves.  We don’t have much time.  I’ll dial us in for when we left.”

“But what’s gonna happen when we get there?  The danger we escaped, it’ll be waiting for us.  And Jim’s still hurt.”

You bit your lip as you and Douxie approached Jim and Claire. You really didn’t want to be the one who had to say this.  You didn’t want to be around when she heard the news.  Shit, you didn’t even want it to be news.  You just wanted your kids to be happy, and to not kill your boyfriend, and to live for once.  Maybe fate just didn’t like you.

“Claire, about that…  Jim is-”

“Ready to face the inevitable,” Jim held out a hand to stop you.

“Jim, are you sure?” Douxie asked while you maintained your silence.  You were pretty sure if you said anything you’d lose your composure. 

“Jim?”  Oh God, and now Claire was going to find out how screwed you still were.  This was gonna suck.

“Claire, the shard in-  There is no cure.  That’s what Merlin told me earlier.”

You winced at the horror on the young girl’s face.  She didn’t deserve this.  Neither of them did.

“That’s crazy!  We can find something!  I’ll learn a spell, we can stay here!”

“If we don’t all go back right now, the future won’t exist.  What kind of hero would I be if I sacrificed everyone else?  Not to be ironic, but we’re out of time.”

“No!  Douxie, (Y/N), tell him!  We can fix this!  You can fix this!”

You brought your hand up to hide your eyes from the sorceress.  She was right, you should have been able to fix this, and tears wouldn’t solve anything.  Your only solution was running away, and Jim-  oh God, Jim.  See, it was things like this that made you start drinking in the twenties.

“I’m sorry, Claire.  He’s right.  We must go back now, but when we do, we’ll find a way to reverse this,”  he stole a glance back at you, and your distraught state only drove him further.  He had to do this, to fix things when you got home.  He owed all of you that much, “I promised I would return you home, and I am, but the portal can only stay open for a few moments.  This is our one shot.  Trust me.”

A moment later, he joined you at the base of the ship before taking your hand and leading you onto it.

“We’ll fix this,” he promised, his voice low so only you could hear, “Together.  We’ll go home to the future, and we’ll fix this, and then-” your eyes met his as he paused, “And then, maybe, we could start our future.”

Despite the tears that threatened to fall, you smiled ever so slightly, “We’ll build a new one if we have to.”

It wasn’t until his lips met yours that you started crying.  It wasn’t his fault it was just- fuck you would miss this.  You smiled again as you pulled apart, though the tears hadn’t stopped.  It was for his sake, really.  Under normal circumstances, you might pretend that everything was fine, but for just one second, you wanted to believe it.

“I love you,”  your voice shook, and you hated it.

“I love you, too,”  his voice was strong, yet tired.  And you loved it.

You pushed a small smile onto your face, trying to cast the illusion that you were okay, and that everything was okay, and that no one would die when you returned.  Your attempts were quickly halted by a sting on your cheek.  That came from him, you realized, as you noticed a thin cut that ran across his cheekbone.  You ran your thumb over it, his skin patching together and healing under your hand.  At least you could still do that one thing.  Sure, you were a traitorous assassin, but by god could you heal a small cut.

Douxie smiled, his grin seeming more natural than yours.  He kissed you one last time before letting you go and taking the time map.  You watched him, not saying a word as he said something under his breath and activated the map and the heart.  A beam of light lit the night sky green, going on for a moment until it formed a portal.  You could almost see your time on the other side. That was it.  That was how you would get back to the future.  Yay.

It was weird.  You’d known Douxie for so long, and hated him for most of that time, but now?  Now you were dreading going back to your time, going back to general safety because it meant that he would die.  It was just odd to think that there was a time where you would have wished for this, for a chance to kill him and avoid the blame.  If you wished for anything now, it would be another way out.

You followed Douxie onto Merlin’s airship and walked past him, standing as far away as you could.  You didn’t know what would happen when you crossed that barrier.  You might try to murder him instantly, you might be able to control yourself, you might be able to fight off your curse entirely.  The point is, you didn’t know, and distance was the best solution.  So, you stood alone and stared off into the night as the ship moved off towards the portal until Steve’s ramblings returned your attention to your friends.

“Man, Camelot was crazy!  Why don’t they ever talk about that in the history books?”

Douxie gave the blond kid a pat on the shoulder, and you watched as Steve headed towards the front of the ship where Jim and Claire stood.  The girl was looking back towards you, but you couldn’t meet her eyes.  Her boyfriend was doomed, and there was nothing you could do about it.  And you would have done anything.  For those kids, you’d give your own life in a heartbeat, but that wasn’t an option.  Not now, not yet.  Douxie, however, met her eyes, though only for a moment.  You didn’t have to hear him to know what he was thinking.

“My burden to bear.”

And with those final words, the world turned green, and you were gone.

Books of 2021 - Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson

It’s probably time to admit what is probably my most unpopular opinion about the Cosmere: I hate Words of Radiance. It’s the book I have to slog my way through to get to Oathbringer. Part of my dislike is heavily linked to my disillusionment about Shallan… However, I do think the big moments in this book – most notably the duel scene and final battle – cloud people to the genuine faults in it. It is a technical step up from The Way of Kings, but there are huge parts of this book that are unnecessarily slow to read and there is a huge thematic drop that starts in this book that I cannot forgive Sanderson for. I also dislike a lot of the individual plotlines, major characters are barely in this book, and a lot of the big reveals/developments feel unearned because they had to happen in this book so we could get on with the more important conflicts in the rest of the series.

This review has spoilers for The Stormlight Archive, you have been warned.

Structure and Plot

I don’t want to touch on the structure too much because a lot of my niggles for The Way of Kings continue into Words of Radiance. All of these books have too much fat around them – the interludes continue to feel irrelevant; the main bulk of the book is drawn out slightly too much; and the flashbacks are merely okay, they haven’t reached the level of Oathbringers’ flashback sequence yet. However, Sanderson does make some serious improvements in this book.

Shallan, our focus character, does have a much more interesting backstory and the flashbacks have slightly more bearing on the present-day plotline. However, for me, they lose interest on subsequent rereads and there are slightly too many of them that don’t add any new information once we’re aware of how terrible her family life is. They are an improvement on Kaladin’s, and I like them a lot more, however, considering how much we STILL don’t know about Shallan (as of Rhythm of War) Sanderson could have utilised them better in this book. Saying this, I do remember really liking the flashbacks on my first read, so I really do think my current negativity is a product of having read this book one too many times? I’m going to hold off on Sanderson for a couple of years after this reread so (if I remember) I’ll come back and reevaluate how I feel about Shallan’s flashbacks with a fresher eye.

Sanderson also gets us into this book a lot quicker than he did in The Way of Kings. Jasnah’s prologue is one of my favourites in the series so far, and part one does hit the ground running. It sucks the reader back into the world, refamiliarised with the essentials of the story, as well as introducing the next leg of the plot. It’s a fabulous introduction and it’s one of the strongest first parts in the series as a whole.

Unfortunately, the pacing doesn’t reflect this strong introduction – once Shallan loses Jasnah’s guidance, and Kaladin is established as Dalinar’s guard the book dramatically slows down. Kaladin’s chapters, while slow, have some differentiation to break them up with Bridge Four learning how to be guards. Shallan’s turns into an interminable slog across the countryside. One of the things I loathe in fantasy are the long journeys with nothing going on – sometimes they can be done beautifully. For example, I love Sam and Frodo’s section in The Two Towers, but Shallan’s is just painful. Sam and Frodo’s journey is so fascinating because of the internal struggle they are going through (together and separately), it’s atmospheric and powerful because of its character work. Yes they are trying to get to Mordor, but the goal isn’t what matters here – it’s whether Sam and Frodo can survive the journey, and what state they will be in when they get there.

Shallan’s journey is clearly a way to get her to the Shattered Plains in the right circumstances and it shows. We’re journeying from A to B, with a few obstacles thrown in. There is some development from Shallan as she learns the basics to being a conwoman from Tyn. However, again this is something thrown in to keep Shallan’s point of view interesting while she’s riding through the countryside. It’s not vital character growth that can only be done at this point in the journey. If we’re going to slog it through the wilderness there needs to be a point to it that can only be learnt from showing such a long journey – otherwise cut down Shallan’s chapters in this section and only show the necessary highlights, while hinting at the longer journey through her internal reflections.

I’m also just going to throw out that I was bored in part three – the end of this part is phenomenal, and contains the famous duel scene with Adolin and Kaladin, which is one of the highlights of the whole series. However, the build up to this scene is repetitive and a bit dull in places? It’s possibly because I’m not a huge fan of Shallan and Kaladins’ arcs in this book. I’ve never liked the Ghostbloods plotline (and it’s only gotten worse with the Thaidakar reveal in Rhythm of War), Shallan’s romance with Adolin is slightly cringey, and I’m going to have a rant about the Kaladin/Moash conflict when I get to writing about Kaladin’s character. The main plotlines in this book are a bit…painful? They scream filler for a lot of part three – I don’t necessarily mind it; I actually like the conflict between Adolin and Kaladin because it does make sense for both characters. It doesn’t do much except build a camaraderie between them and develop their characters, but there are a few too many scenes of it, along with the painful romance scenes. Sorry, romance isn’t Sanderson’s strong point…

Prose

Still painful, still don’t love it. I do think there is a slight improvement between The Way of Kings and Words of Radiance because there aren’t any egregious moments that stand out to me in this book. Some moments, such as Kaladin’s first flight through the chasms and then when he’s flying with Syl over the Shattered Plains, even stand out as highlights for Sanderson’s writing – I really feel Kaladin’s joy and sense of freedom. There are some lovely moments in this book, and it does mark an improvement in Sanderson’s writing style! However, I’m still not a fan of Sanderson’s prose as a whole, it still feels clunky in places, and I’d prefer it to be a little bit more refined. This is very much a personal preference complaint though, as I stressed in my The Way of Kings review.

Magic System

I should probably discuss Sanderson’s magic system in the Stormlight Archive at this point, especially as it’s becoming more and more relevant as we continue into the series.

So, for those of you who are reading this without having read the book (why?!), Stormlight is dominated by a hard magic system called Surgebinding. Human Surgebinders (I’ll probably discuss the Singer’s surgebinding abilities in a later review) are members of one of the ten orders of the Knight’s Radiant: Windrunners, Skybreakers, Dustbringers, Edgedancers, Truthwatchers, Lightweavers, Elsecallers, Willshapers, Stonewards, and Bondsmiths. Each order possess the ability to manipulate two of the ten surges using Stormlight to power their abilities:

Windrunners: adhesion and gravitation

Skybreakers: gravitation and division

Dustbringers: division and abrasion

Edgedancers: abrasion and progression

Truthwatchers: progression and illumination

Lightweavers: illimitation and transformation

Elsecallers: transformation and transportation

Willshapers: transportation and cohesion

Stonewards: cohesion and tension

Bondsmiths: tension and adhesion

They also gain magical armour and weapons known as Shardplate and Shardblades, although when each order gets their plate and plate depends on the order and spren/nahel bond. The order of the Radiant will depend on what oaths they swear and what type of spren they are bonded to:

Windrunners: honorspren

Skybreakers: highspren

Dustbringers: ashspren

Edgedancers: cultivationspren

Lightweavers: cryptics (“liespren”)

Elsecallers: inkspren

Willshapers: lightspren

Stonewards: peakspren

Bondsmiths: the Stormfather, Nightwatcher, or the Sibling (I don’t think we have a spren category for these three)

In Words of Radiance, we get the most insight into Windrunners and Lightweavers through Kaladin and Shallan, respectively, so I’m going to focus on these orders. This does actually work well because the Windrunners and Lightweavers can represent the two “styles” of orders quite well, each one being fairly structured or esoteric respectively.

Kaladin’s Windrunner powers are the most stereotypical magical ability – using gravitation Kaladin can fly, well technically fall in any direction, but the effect is the same. We see him using his powers to soar through the skies above the Shattered Plains, and run on walls. The effect is incredibly cinematic to read (although I suspect it would look ridiculous if poorly adapted into a visual medium) and enhances Kaladin’s status as an ‘action hero’. His other ability, adhesion, is slightly less dramatic – at least when it’s used straightforwardly. He can stick things together, or draw objects towards something else, including people, with magical superglue.

However, Kaladin’s, and the rest of the Knights Radiants’, powers are connected to the oaths he swears and his bond with Sylphrena (Syl). The Knights are granted the ability to surgebind and control their powers through 5 oaths, each order has different oaths but the first is universal: ‘Life before Death, Strength before Weakness, Journey before Destination’. In Kaladin’s case his oaths are connected to protecting others, which does slightly excuse Kaladin’s “saving people thing” and inability to let it go if people he cares about die. Whether Kaladin keeps his oath depends on whether Syl, his bonded Honorspren, best friend, and a tiny piece of divinity in her own right, agrees whether he is keeping them in spirit – something we explore at length with Kaladin’s plotline in this book.

Shallan’s Lightweaver powers are also incredibly visual, especially as she spends all of this book focusing on illumination, which gives her the ability to shape Stormlight into realistic illusions. Her abilities are particularly useful for subterfuge and lies as Shallan can use them on herself to change her appearance, or on their own to make it appear as if something is there when it’s not. Her other ability – soulcasting, the surge of transformation – still hasn’t been explored as of Rhythm of War. Soulcasting changes one substance into another, but exactly how it works and the extent of its power is still uncertain. However, from what we’ve seen through Jasnah, who also has the ability, it is overpowered and very cool.

Shallan’s oaths are less obvious than Kaladin’s and it’s hard to tell what oath she’s on by the end of the book – although this is also heavily linked to Shallan’s backstory and developments in her character in later books,Shallan is definitely a non-standard Radiant! Her oaths, after the initial oath, are made up of truths about herself. She speaks her truths to her spren, Pattern, in order to progress as a Radiant. Her oaths also force her to develop as a person, which has been a painful process because Shallan has been lying to herself since she was a child and doesn’t want to admit what she’s done.

The magic system is clearly very complicated, and we still don’t know everything about it, six of the ten orders haven’t been explored through their specific books, and even the orders we have seen a lot from through our viewpoint characters are shrouded in mystery – I’m still not entirely sure what Bondsmiths do despite having the Bondsmith book (Oathbringer) because the order is so esoteric. It’s well drawn and compelling, especially as Sanderson uses the progression of the Knights as a mystery throughout the books. Despite not being that interested in hard magic systems the magic in this book is interesting and I really like the structure around the Radiants – it also makes for interesting discussion, debates, and Harry Potter style quizzes in the fandom, which is fun!

Characters and Plotlines

Kaladin, Syl, and Moash – Unfortunately, my new found love of Kaladin was tried in this novel because Kaladin REALLY gets on my nerves in Words of Radiance. It’s not because I disagree with Kaladin per se… I actually agree with a lot of Kaladin’s anger, resentment, and sense of injustice with the social system in Vorin/Alethi society. Kaladin has a right to feel angry and seek retribution for what was done to him, and Bridge Four.

However, Kaladin walks around with a massive chip on his shoulder in this book, particularly in how he talks to and thinks about Dalinar and his immediate family. His motivation I can understand and sympathise with, but the impression of ‘I’m so hard done to, the world is against me’ that Kaladin radiates in this book feels completely at odds with the reality of his situation. Yes, Kaladin has a right to be angry. Yes, he has a right to seek justice. But there is no reason he should be so personally antagonistic towards everyone because of their social position. He is in a position of power, he’s outside the social hierarchy to a large extent, and in control of his own life (and the lives of the ex-Bridgecrews). Kaladin is angry at everyone and everything, but he’s losing the justification for a lot of his resentment, particularly when it’s expressed towards Dalinar and his sons.

In particular I have an issue with Kaladin’s main plotline around Moash and the attempt to assassinate Elhokar. Aside from the fact I hate Moash, to the extent where Moash could be dropped from the books without resolution and I wouldn’t bat an eye (sorry Moash fans - I’ve never liked him…), this plotline just doesn’t feel right for Kaladin’s character. It actually feels like a betrayal of the character we got to know in The Way of Kings and continue with in Oathbringer/Rhythm of War. I can’t see a world where Kaladin Stormblessed is okay with murder or assassination.

Kaladin’s whole deal is honour and justice - justice as in what’s morally right (legality is another thing entirely!) He also wants to protect everyone, including Syl - Syl perhaps above everyone else as Tien is dead - but this plot is something she explicitly isn’t comfortable with and is concerned about. I CAN see a world where Kaladin pursues a plan to see Elhokar removed from power, but not assassinated. The argument about Elhokar’s removal being like removing a gangrenous limb (or whatever the exact metaphor was) doesn’t hold up for his character.

What makes this whole plotline worse is it doesn’t really lead anywhere, other than placing Moash on the opposite side to Kaladin in the upcoming war. All that we really get from it is confirmation that Kaladin is a Windrunner to the core (which we already knew) and Moash is on whatever side Kaladin isn’t because they’re foils for each other. However, the only real outcome of this entire 1,000 page plotline is Moash is maneuvered into position for his arc in Oathbringer, and Kaladin gets to swear his third ideal. Yet Kaladin’s perspective doesn’t radically change and quite frankly working out the third ideal could have been done in another way, without betraying Kaladin’s character for two thirds of a book. It was there to conveniently get a few characters where they needed to be for the next book, and to let Kaladin have another superhero moment. I love Kaladin superhero moments as much as anyone else - I just wish it wasn’t prefaced with this plotline.

One thing I really don’t understand - and is why I dislike this plotline so much - is why we’re stressing so much on a Kaladin-Moash friendship anyway. They don’t feel like friends! Honestly, this is a larger problem with Bridge Four as a whole - their friendship with Kaladin doesn’t feel earnt. Well no, Rock, Teft, and Lopen do. But the larger part of Bridge Four feels like they’re just there? They definitely feel like they’re friends with each other, but not necessarily with Kaladin. 

I’ve already confessed that I’m not the biggest fan of Bridge Four at the best of times because they feel like a sports team underdog narrative, which is honestly my worst nightmare of a storyline. However, I DO want to see Sanderson actually show Kaladin being friends with them, especially as they are such a huge part of his motivation to protect. We have one scene - the bar scene - with a few of them acting like a genuine friendship group. Yet this doesn’t make for a genuine friendship, we need more little moments throughout the book, including Kaladin. 

Sanderson does improve on the Bridge Four dynamic, Oathbringer and Rhythm of War make me feel like Bridge Four are genuine mates a lot more than Words of Radiance does. However, for this book we do need to see Kaladin and Moash as real friends, maybe even as close as brothers, for the Elhokar assassination plotline to work. But we don’t! It’s easier for me to believe Adolin and Kaladin’s friendship than Moash and Kaladin! And Adolin and Kaladin spend most of this book bickering…

I think the real issue with this plotline is the execution. The way Kaladin’s character has been established, the lack of page time spent on Bridge Four as a whole and Moash in particular, and ultimately small outcomes for this plotline makes it feel tedious and slightly pointless. Sanderson needed to increase the REAL stakes - there was no way Kaladin was really going to lose his status as a radiant, just for narrative reasons - and work on the emotional impact. We need to believe Kaladin would really go through with the assassination, and his friendship with Moash before getting to this plotline. But as we don’t, or at least I don’t, feel this so Kaladin’s anger and it’s consequential plotline ends up frustrating me to the point where Kaladin is on thin ice for a lot of this novel.

Shallan - Okay, I’m going to address the elephant in the room later - the elephant is Shallan and the “Boots scene” if you weren’t aware. However, I do have a few other complaints about Shallan in this book. 

My main issue with Shallan, excluding the classism I’m addressing later, is that a lot of her character feels unearned (in this book specifically not as a general rule.) Not in the sense that her powers feel unearned, or her backstory isn’t believable (which I really love), but her achievements and relationships in Words of Radiance feel cheap. There are several moments that stick out to me as being particularly annoying.

Firstly, Shallan’s ability to control Tvlakv, Tyn, and the merchant caravans. Personally, I find this whole situation ridiculous when I think about it. I can go along with Shallan being able to get to the Shattered Plains miraculously meeting the slave trader who sold Kaladin. However, the fact Shallan is apparently capable of manipulating Tvlakv into taking her there with very little conflict is ludicrous. 

Shallan’s a shipwrecked, fairly middling noble with few resources at her immediate disposal, and a somewhat shy (if on later acquaintance bubbly) personality. It doesn’t make sense to me that she can have this influence over Tvlakv. Yes she’s been taught by Jasnah, and yes she does have some confidence/authority from her own position as a lighteyes. However, I’m really struggling to believe that, at this point in her story, she is a good enough actress to pull off an aloof lighteyed woman of significant enough rank to make Tvlakv do what she wants, especially when they’ve met in the middle of nowhere and Shallan has no other options. 

My second issue with this is with Adolin and Sabarial. Adolin also falls into my larger complaints about Sanderson’s romances, which are by far the weakest elements in any of his books. However, let’s start with Sabarial: 

So… Why the hell does Sabarial take her in? It makes ZERO sense. The ‘because it annoys Dalinar’ argument just doesn’t cut it, and neither does the ‘Sabarial is so weird’ perspective. As bonkers as he appears on the surface, we know Sabarial is a shrewd businessman. He’s lazy, but also a clever and manipulative leader, he doesn’t do anything without getting something in return. However, he doesn’t get anything from taking Shallan in except the satisfaction of getting one up on Dalinar? She doesn’t even do his accounts properly! It feels like an inconsistent character move that is only there to suit the storytelling and give Shallan more freedom, rather than demonstrate Sabarial's motivations. 

Okay Adolin is both better and worse than Sabarial. I can genuinely understand why Adolin likes Shallan so much and vice versa. I love the relationship they have once it’s been established - they’re good for each other (well I think Adolin is better for Shallan than she is for him, but the point stands.) However, it’s just so insta-lovey! They just meet and it’s like the heavens aligned, and a perfect relationship blossoms. It’s not quite that fast, but it’s pretty quick. And I just don’t buy that initial push into their bond.

I just find this initial meeting and first couple of dates unbelievable? It’s also very cringey… I can’t read some of their ‘banter’ because it’s painful for me at this point - I’m literally Kaladin whenever he has to watch them together. It’s the worst combination of Sanderson’s sense of humour, his poor romances, and annoyingly quirky characters. By Oathbringer I do think they have a good, settled relationship going on, but in this book I really dislike the way it’s sparked. (I’m also questioning why Adolin doesn’t seem to be mourning Jasnah and is going out on dates? It just seems off to me!)

Honestly, I could probably live with both of these aspects if it wasn’t for the final, most egregious issue I have with Shallan in Words of Radiance. Her discovering Urithiru.

I cannot stress enough how much I HATE that Shallan discovered the Oathgate on the Shattered Plains. The other successes feel unrealistic and unearnt but are ultimately small moments that would have to happen in some form - Shallan has to get to the Shattered Plains, and she has to meet/fall in love with Adolin. They’re irritating in how they’re executed but are ultimately okay instagatory moments.

On the other hand, finding Urithiru is one of the biggest moments in the whole series! It’s a significant part of the climax of the whole book! Without it we’d be reading a very different series in Oathbringer and beyond. But giving this huge moment to Shallan is completely out of proportion to the work she’s put in. Yes, Shallan has been looking for it for a few months, she wants to continue Jasnah’s work. However, Jasnah has been slaving away at this for YEARS, literally YEARS. Why does Shallan get this moment of triumph? It’s completely unwarranted for what she’s done, especially as she literally couldn’t have done it without Jasnah’s research. It just pisses me off that we seem to give all the credit to her when, in reality, she drew a map.

I think this annoys me so much because Sanderson went down the ‘kill the mentor’ trope for this book. There was actually very little reason to remove Jasnah in the way he did in Words of Radiance - Shallan could have easily been ignored by Jasnah once they reached Shattered Plains as she’s dealing with the high stakes politics/war effort with Dalinar, leaving Shallan to get embroiled with the Ghostbloods and Adolin. This would have left small amounts of time to see them working together on their scholarship, whilst also giving Shallan room to grow. Using ‘kill the mentor’ AND having Jasnah return from the ‘dead’ felt cheap the first time around (nevermind this one!) whilst achieving very little that couldn’t have been done in other ways.

Overall, I just think Sanderson overplays Shallan’s competence in this book. She’s still a 17/18 year old girl and he’s overdoing it with her abilities that aren’t related to her Radiant powers. The discoveries she makes don’t live up to her reality of character and I find it irritating.

I’ve said a lot that is negative about Shallan - I do get more positive after this book, so that’s something I guess? Nevertheless, I do want to say one thing I really love about Shallan and this book is her backstory. Apart from Dalinar, Shallan has the best backstory out of the main characters we’ve seen so far. The abuse from her father, casual cruelty and neglect within her family, and Shallan’s own darkness is fascinating to read about - if slightly distressing. I don’t have much to say about it as a whole because I think it’s very effective in adding a darker layer into Shallan’s character, as well as being a much more interesting story than Kaladin’s was in The Way of Kings.

Sanderson hasn’t quite mastered the interweaving of the flashbacks into the main storyline in Words of Radiance, then again Oathbringer was exceptionally good in comparison to all the other books for this aspect. However, the Words of Radiance flashbacks are a marked improvement and made for a great way to deepen Shallan’s character past the hints we’d seen in her chapters in the first book. I think it’s a very believable backstory. It’s probably the backstory that’s having the most ‘present day’ impact on the character in question (again Dalinar is a close second but Sanderson dropped the ball with his character growth in Rhythm of War.) Shallan’s past is fabulous and well utilised by Sanderson to make her grow - and I did want to say something positive about Shallan because, despite not liking her, I do think she is a very well written character.

Pattern - I want to say that, despite my apparent vendetta against Shallan, I REALLY love Pattern! He’s so annoyingly sweet, sincere, and genuine! Actually he reminds me a lot of one of my dogs, which might be a contributing factor to my enjoyment of him? Either way Pattern is one of the best spren characters we’ve met so far - he’s amazing!

Dalinar - I’m mainly here to complain there isn’t enough Dalinar in this book and I miss him… I understand why he isn’t as present in Words of Radiance as he is in The Way of Kings and Oathbringer. However, I do think the absence of both Dalinar and Jasnah - my two “problematic faves”, plus Kaladin feeling very off for most of this book, contributes to why I don’t like it very much. Their loss leaves a big hole for my personal enjoyment and attachment, especially on rereads. It’s a very personal problem and comes down to who you read the series for (and whether you like Shallan or not.)

Although, when we get one of the few Dalinar chapters I am ecstatic because they’re all particularly punchy in this book! Chapter 67 - Spit and Bile - when Wit and Dalinar discuss his nature as a ‘benevolent tyrant’ is one of my favourites in the whole series. It’s a real moment of character realisation for Dalinar and gives us some FANTASTIC food for thought before we get to the shocking revelations of Oathbringer.

Kaladin and Shallan, Class Status, and the Boots Scene

Okay, it’s time to address the elephant in the room – Sanderson dropping the ball on his discussion of class conflict. I loved Sanderson’s introduction of class conflict, it’s something I’m particularly interested in as a British person. However, he handles this theme badly in Words of Radiance and drops it completely in Oathbringer, and it was almost a deal breaker for me on this reread. I’m genuinely upset about it.

So, a lot of Kaladin’s arc in this book is centred around him learning to look past his (valid) anger over what was done to him by the lighteyes, and specifically Amaram. Of course, this can’t really be resolved in one book, and I do hope Sanderson listens to the very vocal criticism around his “resolving” of Kaladin’s anger by pressing Kaladin into siding with his oppressors without uncritically examining his choices in books 3 and 4 (as well as making him a de facto lighteyes himself). However, in Words of Radiance Kaladin is very much giving into his anger now he has the opportunity to live, rather than just survive, and Sanderson uses a lot of his interactions with Dalinar, Adolin, and Shallan to show him ‘not all lighteyes are bad’.

I do have issues with the way Sanderson handles this with Adolin and Dalinar - maybe Dalinar not so much because his character has A LOT of other issues going on and his interactions with Kaladin are very much structured by their positions in the army. Their relationship remains largely professional, especially in this book, and Kaladin is shown to trust and respect Dalinar and vice versa. Not to mention that Dalinar is actually prepared to listen to Kaladin’s version of events and do his best to get justice for Kaladin against Amaram - it’s just not an easy situation to prove or resolve, and it can’t be done in the way Kaladin wants.

As an aside for the rest of the series - I do have issues with Kaladin’s long term idolisation of Dalinar as a leader and ‘noble’ lighteyes. We haven’t really seen Kaladin’s reaction to the revelations from Oathbringer (the in-world version) which I do think would change the dynamic between them. After all, the revelations about Dalinar show him to be worse than Amaram in many respects! Kaladin should have a reaction to the morality around Dalinar’s actions in the past, even if he is trying to change, and not just continue as they did before. Although, this issue ties into the larger problems with the series structure and how Sanderson keeps all but dropping Dalinar’s character growth in every other book - we need to address the consequences for revealing his past to the world, particularly with his family and political allies, not just sweep them under the carpet as we did in Rhythm of War!

In contrast to Kaladin’s relationship with Dalinar, he and Adolin are on a slightly more (although not completely) equal level, as demonstrated by their bickering, banter, and eventual friendship. Their relationship begins with Adolin’s suspicions about Kaladin, Kaladin’s hatred for lighteyes, and a mutual grudge against each other, but their relationship grows into a very real friendship after the duel sequence. Their relationship is one that has never bothered me because they had that rocky start. They grow into a friendship of equals, their distrust turns into a genuine bond because they learn to trust each other as they prove to each other that they aren’t what they first assumed.

Most importantly, despite the rocky start, neither of them are actively dismissive of the other based on their social status - Adolin never demeens Kaladin for being darkeyed and once Kaladin gets to know Adolin better his hostility towards lighteyes in general vanishes as they established their personal bond. The only moment you can point to Adolin actively dismissing Kaladin due to his social status is in The Way of Kings when he asks him to take a message to someone in the prostitute scene (sorry I’m not looking up the page numbers.) Adolin never shows dislike of anyone because they are darkeyes and definitely does not toy with those of a lesser social status than himself. Yes, I do agree Sanderson could do a better job of using the relationships between Adolin, Kaladin, and Bridge Four to address some of the subconscious biases Adolin holds. But Adolin is never cruel or manipulative to those with less social status. 

This brings me to the big reason why I’ve come to loathe Shallan and the key reason I dislike Sanderson’s mishandling of the social class discussion. It’s not even necessarily Shallan herself that I dislike, it’s the way the narrative frames her character and Sanderson’s dismissal of Kaladin’s anger. I could look past most of the problems I’ve raised against Shallan if it wasn’t for the way Sanderson portrayed her in this book. I still don’t think she’d be my favourite character now but I wouldn’t feel the urge to close the book every time I have to read her chapters.

However, Shallan is probably the best example we have in a point of view character of the minor abuses of the lighteyes against anyone of a lower social class than themselves. I’m not talking about the major crimes committed by Sadeas or Amaram where they show a blatant disregard for life, but I am talking about the subtle abuses of those with wealth and rank against those less fortunate.

Throughout the series we see Shallan casually and absentmindedly manipulate, dismiss, and bully darkeyed individuals. She’s not maliciously cruel, but she is casually abusive. She treats people like Kaladin or the slaves she ends up owning as less than herself, especially when she first meets them. I’m not here to say this is Shallan’s fault per se. She has been taught to do so by her society, she’s been indoctrinated into a system that believes those with darkeyes are lesser than herself because the Almighty has deemed it to be this way. It’s an inbuilt, largely unconscious bias formed by the society she was brought up in. I’d actually like this character trait if Sanderson used it to challenge Shallan and make her grow as a character, like pretty much EVERYONE else has to do with aspects of their character! 

But Sanderson doesn’t. Shallan is given a free pass for toying with darkeyes or those of a lower dahn than herself and using them to amuse herself, or even for dismissing them. And it’s not just once she does it, it’s a systematic behaviour in this book. Now, I will admit most of the time this behaviour is used against...unsavoury characters - it’s usually people like Tvlakv, a slave trader, who often fall victim to Shallan’s manipulation. As an audience we don’t like Tvlakv and don’t really care if he’s manipulated and pushed around by Shallan because of his earlier treatment of Kaladin. We like Kaladin, we like Shallan, but Tvlakv? Not so much. But her casual dismissal of Tvlakv’s life and livelihood (putting my loathing of slavery aside for the moment) does show Shallan’s contempt of those beneath her in general.

The better case to demonstrate Shallan’s classism is in her scenes with Kaladin. There are two moments I could use to make my point: the infamous “Boots” scene in chapter 28 and the Chasm sequence in Part 4. In both these scenes we see Shallan, in a position of power, dismiss Kaladin - the “Boots” scene is by far the worst of these two, but the later sequence give us a better glimpse into the problems with Sanderson’s framing of Shallan’s and Kaladin’s past traumas. Shallan’s trauma is validated by this scene, but Kaladin’s very justified dislike and anger is dismissed by both Sanderson and Shallan. There is very little, leading up to the Chasm sequence, that suggests Shallan is a nice person to Kaladin and he has a lot of long-term trauma from mistreatment and abuse from lighteyes in general. Kaladin should be allowed to hold onto his resentment to some extent. Instead he is forced to get rid of it because of Sanderson’s inflexible belief that all anger, even righteous anger, is wrong.

I could elaborate on this scene but as this review is now ludicrously long, I’m going to stick to the Boots scene as it is simpler and I don’t really need to summarise the scene because it’s so well. The basics you need are: Shallan uses her gender, social position, and Kaladin’s relative lack of authority to humiliate him in front of his men and con him out of his boots. And it’s played for laughs.

There is a small hint later on that Shallan shouldn’t have done what she did when Kaladin confronts her about the incident outside the meeting of the Highprinces. Yet, a large part of this was Shallan saving face when she realised he is Captain of the Kholins’ guard and could pose a serious threat to her plans if he felt so inclined. She doesn’t express any remorse for her behaviour morally speaking, nor does she think that she shouldn’t mess around with people who can’t fight back. No, she’s remorseful because it’s convenient for her.

The 'Boots' scene isn’t funny. It’s a clear, if childish, display of the sheer amount of power lighteyes have over everyone socially below them. But Sanderson doesn’t depict it in that way. It’s just there as an amusing scene, and to get Shallan and Kaladin off on the wrong foot. Kaladin was just doing his job, grumpily, and didn’t deserve this treatment from Tyn or Shallan. Especially as Shallan very much knows that she ISN’T a conwoman and she really IS Adolin’s betrothed - she doesn’t need to impress Tyn, especially not this close to the Shattered Plains. So, she has little excuse for acting in the way that she did, and she really didn’t need to humiliate Kaladin in front of his men. As the audience, we know Kaladin’s command isn’t going to be affected because of his history with Bridge Four, and we know he can replace his boots. But Shallan doesn’t and it only shows how little she really considers the lives of those below her. It’s just casual cruelty that served no purpose except to entertain her and Tyn.

The fact that Shallan has never really been called out for this by the narrative/Sanderson, only by Kaladin and more socially aware fans, is outrageous. Anyone else would be - and everyone else has similar issues that narrative insists they work on and overcome. Yet Shallan is consistently let off for this behaviour. On the other end of this scene, Kaladin is forced into letting go of his anger and falling into line with the Kholins and other lighteyes, despite being systematically oppressed and mistreated by the lighteyes as a whole. Sanderson doesn’t allow Kaladin his anger and he’s punished for it throughout this book.

I will say that Kaladin isn’t completely in the right here, he did need to learn that not everyone is the embodiment of evil just because they are born into wealth and privilege. However, neither was it okay to dismiss the complex dilemma around Kaladin and class - where he needs to overcome his prejudice against everyone at the top of the social system, because there are good lighteyes, whilst still challenging that system - by making him a lighteyes. This doesn’t solve anything! His anger is valid and righteous. The Vorin social system does need a complete overhaul and Kaladin should be allowed to take the helm for that social movement - even if this arc isn’t at the forefront of the series (you know because we’re all slightly busy saving the world!) 

Sanderson shouldn’t keep allowing Shallan a free pass for deeply rooted and problematic behaviours and attitudes. It doesn’t need to be a major point of discussion, especially as the series has evolved and everyone is more concerned with staying alive. However, this is a huge series, there is space in it to address this issue every now and again in the background of the novel, particularly in non-combative plotlines. It would also help to change the perspective in moments like the “Boots” scene. Rather than showing these as just funny moments, take the time to show that they are symptoms of a serious problem in Vorin society and demonstrations of the casual abuses of power lighteyes can get away with on a daily basis.

At the end of the day, Kaladin is going to be fine - and he does drive me nuts with the huge chip on his shoulder that he has throughout Words of Radiance. His only real consequence from this scene is wounded pride, he’ll recover. However, Shallan shouldn’t be let off the hook for it either and Sanderson does need to pick up this plotline on the abuse of power and class in the series. He introduced a serious discussion on the dangers of a class-based society and it’s a shame (and irresponsible) to just drop it now. 

Conclusion

So I think we can all agree I don’t like a lot of this book. I’m in the minority here. There are some fantastic moments throughout Words of Radiance, but as a whole I struggle when rereading this particular entry into The Stormlight Archive. Sanderson drops the ball on one too many issues, and I really dislike Shallan here. I do get on with her slightly more in later novels - well in Rhythm of War - however, having such a heavy focus on her here makes it a slog for me to read.

Still, onward and upwards! Oathbringer is (probably) my favourite book in the whole series, although I’ve only read RoW once so that might change when I finish this reread. Hopefully I’ll have a lot more positive things to say in my next review - and I finally get to make my speech on why I love Dalinar and his backstory!

SnK 131 Thoughts

Eren what the fuck.

Like.

What in the actual fuck, my dude.

There are parts of this that make sense.

Then there are the parts that absolutely do not, and it’s all wrapped up in this chapter where, as previous chapter posts predicted, people are screaming and dying.

Since that’s pretty much the majority of the content, I guess we have the luxury of a short post that almost entirely focuses on Eren.

With added Annie and Armin. They can go at the start, I guess. They exist, they are cute if you’re into that, they’re also dumb and mopey if you’re into that, Paths make for a great radio, and just generally

WHAT THE FUCK, EREN.

Did I already talk about Rebellion? Is that a thing I did in these past few months? -checks- Damn it. Not that the well can’t be visited again, since it’s very obviously appropriate, but twice in two months starts to look like the laziness that is indeed threatening to take me.

-spins the wheel-

Okay then, let’s talk about Anakin Skywalker.

Cool dude. Rad kid. Born into slavery. Freed from slavery by a dude with magical plot magic who immediately dies. Inherits dude’s desire for him to follow the leanings of the religious sect responsible for plot magic. Has hormones and has a meltdown over having hormones, and also feelings, and proceeds to protect everything he loves so hard that it burns to the ground while someone he eventually throws into a pit laughs maniacally in the background.

It’s mainly that last part that is arguably relevant to today.

Anakin is terrified of losing his wife in childbirth. Instead of contacting a doctor, he decides that it’s best to rely on himself. Plus shady mentor. His fear turns into a longing for a power to destroy that fear, and the combination drives him to the Dark Side. When he starts demolishing the very things he wanted to protect, he digs in deeper. For twenty years, he kills, and kills, and kills, because he can’t admit he was wrong.

(Clone Wars is a good show, if anyone is interested. It fleshes the emotional weight of the script out, and makes the horror and tragedy stab you in the heart.)

I can’t say that I entirely hate this for Eren. I don’t particularly like how it’s been presented, but that might just be the part of me that looks at the “GENOCIDE IS THE ONLY OPTION” button lit up on his forehead and finds it so fundamentally disagreeable that I haven’t been looking at it even when the plot tells me that’s what it is.

Here’s the thing: Genocide is presented as a feasible course of action all throughout this series. From Zeke, from Marley, from Paradis; whoever’s pitch you want to listen to, a conclusion everyone always comes to is that it would be easier if all of these people causing problems would just die.

They can make that happen. They have the technology.

Marley is a cesspit. The moral cost means nothing to them.

Zeke is abused, traumatized, and molded into thinking death is a mercy.

Floch survives, and teaches himself that the evil he lives through needs to be repaid in full.

Kill, kill, kill. If something stands in your way, murder it.

This is a concept of horror to the characters who are establishing the moral center of the tale. They’ve killed people. They’ve fought to the death against people who would gladly see them die. The titans are their victimized kin, and all they can do for the greater good is put them down.

They’re tiny humans trapped in a cage, and they’re just trying to get out. Whenever they try, their jailers try to eat them. That is forever what Paradis is attempting, and whenever they do try to lessen the amount of violence in their tactics, they get fucked over by the plot. As much as the story can, it’s thrown the main Paradis cast into the light of being innocent victims who are just trying to defend themselves.

The whole series is a study in the damage genocide has caused.

Nothing excuses it.

There is no motive that justifies this scale of premeditated violence.

There is the fear that one day the people who belong to you will be victims, and the only way to stop them from being victims is to make victims of everyone else. Kill or be killed.

In self-defense.

Defending from an attack that might never come.

Genocide is not an option that has ever deserved a seat at the table.

Why don’t we just kill everyone off?

Why not erase everyone’s memories of it?

Why not continue to use this power to herd everyone into our vision of what the world should be like?

Why not say that we deserve life so much more than any other living creature on the planet?

The entire story tells us why.

From the very first chapter, we’re exposed to the violence and terror of an uncaring world devouring anyone unfortunate enough to be on the outskirts of what supposedly greater people have decided is most important. Eren’s entire home is destroyed because some children kick down a wall. The people in the core of those same walls are disturbed, but send out their lesser to be fed to the monsters so that they can continue living.

Karl Fritz locks everyone away on an island and tells them the world has ended.

Anyone who is too curious, or too interested in beginning a new world, is killed. They’re robbed of their memories or their life. The remaining Ackermans are alive because they were too far away from the true history of the world to actually know anything.

Marley, the whipping boy of the Eldian Empire, finds its escape through Karl’s mercy, and immediately mimics the way of life that has caused them so much pain. Titans continue to run rampant in the world, simply with different reins. They redefine what’s acceptable based on who’s pulling the trigger.

Every single major plot point comes back to the ruin that perpetrating genocide has conceived.

Nothing is fixed by saving Marley from Eldia. Marley chooses to renew the evil.

Nothing is fixed by Karl walking away from the world. He just picks on smaller targets.

Nothing is fixed by pretending this is a solution.

The series’ history is a cycle of people grabbing power and tormenting their enemies with it. It shows no sign of stopping. It takes Paradis a hundred years, but they go from a blank slate of a starting point to producing someone ready to destroy the world.

Nothing suggests that another hundred years won’t do the same.

We have seen this all before. The only difference is that Eren is trying to commit to a large enough scale that no one alive will have the kind of grudges that will produce this fuckery.

It is vile.

This is not a defensible course of action. Some things are simply wrong, and even without morality coming into play, we’ve spent years reading an object lesson in the consequences of this behavior.

This horror is where Eren comes from.

Eren is not special.

He is a normal human born into this world.

His actions are ones that any other person could duplicate.

Not easily, and not without a great deal of coincidence, but nothing about Eren makes this a choice that only he can make. His power is borrowed, and no matter how he dies, that death means there will be a next person in line.

He isn’t ending a fucking thing. He’s become a cog in the machine that broke him.

So that’s the starting point. Even if killing younglings did have a logical undercurrent, no. No, no, a million times no. Eren chooses this. Eren causes this. Eren picks genocide without anyone putting a gun to his head. Eren picks genocide when he has access to a power that could easily discourage anyone from attacking his home for years.

He chooses to murder people.

Because he’s afraid, and because he can.

Then we get to what I find infinitely more interesting:

Eren doesn’t want this.

In the present day, we have an Eren who no longer has a body, and what amounts to a hallucination of his younger self, dreaming of a world hidden away in a book. His physical self has its eyes closed, and his younger self looks more alive than Eren has in ages. He isn’t looking at the damage he causes, just the open sky.

In the past, we have Eren bawling apologies to a boy he meets once. We have an Eren who realizes that this world is one that has let him down, and that, completely outside protecting his home, is what makes him want it gone.

This doesn’t just happen.

Eren wants it to happen.

Eren looks at this world that wants him and everyone like him dead, and he wants it to be like the book. No mention of other people -- other people aren’t in the outside world anymore. Just beautiful scenery, and the freedom to enjoy it.

He can’t have that, and it hurts. He’s been through Annie, Reiner, and Bertolt. He’s lost friends and seen even more people die protecting him. He’s lost limbs and sleep and sanity to see a world beyond the walls.

It’s a world that wants nothing to do with him.

And Eren, who has rejected that line of thinking since he was a child, rejects the entire world.

He can’t dress it up.

Deep down, he doesn’t like the world he’s going to destroy.

He’s known for four years that he’s going to end countless lives.

He walks off Paradis’ ship knowing that.

But when he sees this world, he does want it gone.

Knowing what he’s going to do is one thing; seeing the beginning of a reason for it is what drives him to his knees. It isn’t some strange inevitability of the future. He’s the one who does this, and behind every bit of love for his friends and Paradis, there’s the knowledge that this world, where so many people live lives just like his, is one he’d liked better in a dream where none of them existed.

And that is where the plot thread loses me.

Not because any of this is something that I find particularly outlandish. There’s a plain, hysterical logic to it, and a small fraction of identifying with that logic has Eren in tears.

Eren does this.

There is no evidence of him wanting it.

He sees the shadow of want in himself, and he freaks out.

Eren of the present is dissociating so hard I don’t view his childhood hallucinations as a stable mind choosing something.

Eren of the past is continually horrified that this is going to happen.

If I had a tablet, this is where there would be a bad drawing of present Eren and past Eren, linked by an unstable line of red question marks.

I don’t have a tablet.

I do have Paint.

In the immortal words of an angry fictional nine-year-old, “If you don’t fight, we can’t win.”

In the immortal words of a very sad fictional nineteen-year-old, “I don’t know when in the future it will happen... But I... am going to kill every one of these people...”

Eren going full villain is a choice, I guess. It’s not a very interesting one. As previously stated, we know what happens in this world when people do a genocide. We also know what happens when the walls go marching. We are now watching a genocide as the walls go marching. There are no revelations here. There’s death and gloom.

I mean this as sincerely as I can: This, on its face, is boring.

Eren is just the latest person killing people for Reasons.

There is very little reason to be invested in that as a plot. As a character drama, there are tears to be shed and hearts to be torn asunder, but as a basic plot??? This has nothing in it.

I don’t personally believe we’ve come this far for nothing, so I apply my magnifying glass where I choose, and where I choose is the part where I believe this all slips:

Eren takes his visions as an inevitability.

He has the conversation with himself, counting out the lives. Paradis versus the world. In a simple game of numbers, the world should win, and he knows that.

Presenting our problem.

Eren can’t accept a future where Paradis, and Eldians, are sacrificed for the world. Paradis is his home, and he’s spent his life fighting for Eldians to be free, even if he doesn’t know them by that name for most of it. In the case of Paradis v World, Paradis wins out. It’s wrong and it’s terrible, and Zeke’s plan means less dead bodies, but he can’t let go of Paradis.

A binary is presented. Paradis can live, or the rest of the world can. Pick one.

Except that’s stupid.

Following this, Eren leans so far into that choice that he does what he can to manufacture an impossibility of any other results. He makes Paradis a priority. He makes Paradis an international concern, not simply a Marley one. He has the power to knock back any assault on the island they can make, but he still goes on offense.

Paradis dies

World dies

That is not the choice. It is the choice Eren locks himself into, but frankly, he doesn’t even try before he jumps at the genocide route.

As a story thing, whatever. Valid, I guess. Let the protagonist’s own misconceptions break him.

As an Eren thing, it falls short of working.

He’s clearly being torn apart by what he’s going to do.

He’s a protagonist who enters the story yelling about people never winning if they don’t enter the ring.

Eren sees a vision of him destroying the world, thinks on it, and effectively goes, “seems legit,” and cries himself to sleep feeling sad about it.

Eren.

You can have your characters fail. You can have them drop their principles one by one until there’s nothing left. You can have their character development be entirely negative. You do not have to have your hero be a Hero.

Eren is appalled by his own feelings, and walking around the world like a zombie. He sees himself ending the world, and plays it back over and over again, never questioning that this is exactly what he’s going to do.

But when he finally starts, there’s not even a trace of this conflict. His eyes light up at the amazing sight he believes is waiting for him. He spits his defiance at Zeke for even suggesting the sterilization plan. He’s still a zombie in every human interaction that happens with his flesh body, but he goes about his plan with an unconcerned ruthlessness that is disconnected from the humanity Eren has spent the whole story personifying.

Arguably, Sasha dying is the tipping point, and that’s where he fully commits, and blah blah blah stuff.

Only defiance, and not bending to anyone else’s will, is the key trait of the Attack Titan. It’s the key trait of Eren. To keep fighting well beyond sense.

This plan’s inception comes from Eren yielding to the inevitable.

He’s going to kill these people.

There is no choice to it, it’s simply what’s going to happen.

Eren has always had a choice. He might not like the options, or know what’s right, but he has always, always known that the decisions he makes are his.

The story is making the case that Eren buys into inevitability so completely that he denies himself freedom.

That isn’t uninteresting, but we don’t see that. We don’t see what convinces Eren that it’s no use fighting. He chooses to save a boy, and his memories of the boy don’t change. Big deal. That’s one kid in four years of choices. As a proof of concept, it’s weak, and it’s weaker still because Eren makes the choice to save him.

None of this was inevitable, but we approach Eren’s actions from the perspective of there being no way out. Maybe if we had even more flashbacks to him trying to change things, and a play-by-play of him slowly realizing that nothing he does changes what he sees --

But even then, if Eren doesn’t want to kill people, he’s allowed not to. He’s allowed to continue working with his friends. He could have told any of them, at any point, that this was an upcoming problem. He’s always trusted Armin’s mind.

Eren hides himself away with his problems and tells himself he can’t fight this.

Bullshit.

I’ve made this argument before, about Historia and Ymir:

If you’re going to have a character renege on a core of their personal identity so completely, you need to put in the legwork of showing how it happens. Otherwise there’s no reason to trust anything the story tells you, and the grand illusion falls to pieces.

The character work in this series has always been solid, even when everything down to the art hasn’t.

This doesn’t quite work.

There’s a compelling case. There’s a viewable logic that pretends to be believable.

The internal consistency is still off. Something’s wrong here, and if it turns out to be the character ball being dropped in the final inning... really, that’s just such a waste. Personal preference colors all of this, obviously, but if this is the whole truth of the matter, it’s boring.

“I still want to believe... that there’s still a world we don’t know about yet out there... past the walls.”

C’mon, Armin. Earn your fandom hatred. Be right one more time.

We’re not done yet.

I wouldn't mind that post on VNs!

So I was gonna write three different lists, but then after writing the first part I realized this is very long and takes a while to write and nobody cares anyway so I’ll just post my recommended list only. Well, I mean, you asked, but I doubt you wanted all this lol. Thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about this stuff, though. Hope you enjoy my ramblings!

An explanation for what this list is: Sometimes I know a game isn't perfect in many aspects but I still had a genuinely good time playing it, hence why I'm recommending it. Also I should mention that I could talk for hours about some of these games so if anyone’s curious about more of my thoughts, let me know.

Alright, now that that's out of the way ...

How to Take Off Your Mask / How to Fool a Liar King / How to Sing to Open Your Heart (f/m): This is a trilogy of smaller, single-RO games where you can take one of two routes depending on how you act, and they’re all interconnected where you get to meet and interact with the previous games’ characters in the sequel games. I went into this expecting very little but what I got blew me away with how funny, charming and cute the games were. They don’t take themselves too seriously, at one point an angsty male character monologues deeply about some shit, and another one just slides into frame and starts mocking him. It was so fucking funny, holy shit. Also, a central theme is literally racism against catgirls? Which is monumentally stupid, and probably the games’ main flaw, especially in the final game where it pairs up a catgirl with a catgirl racist, but that one still ends with a literal bisexual queen literally making a man her malewife because she fell in love with his cooking, so like ... It speaks for itself. My favorite game of the three is the second one, where you get to play a punchy fake catgirl and romance a pink-haired prince. And honestly, all the female protags in these games are lovely and a breath of fresh air, and the male characters are fun and not abusive assholes either. There’s full Japanese voice acting, and two out of three female protags are literal catgirls who pepper in “nya” and “mya” into their dialogue, and it’s just treated as a quirk of their catgirl race. I AM NOT KIDDING. Yet somehow it never comes off as cringe, because it doesn’t take it self too seriously. These games are just cozy. That’s the only way I can describe them. Cozy and hilarious. Play them yesterday. Dream Daddy (m/m): Man tumblr did this game dirty. This is just a cute, wholesome daddy dating simulator with gorgeous art. Coming out on Top (m/m): So you know Dream Daddy? What if it was EXTREMELY, MAJORLY NSFW? Though I realize how bad the comparison really is, the only thing these games have in common is that they’re gay dating sims and don’t have an anime art style and oh, yeah, they’re both really well-written. Or at least, extremely funny. COOT (heh) is DDADDS’ horny older cousin, and I first encountered the game on a lesbian letsplayer’s YouTube channel. Yes I watched a lesbian play a gay porn game and it was GOOD. I was there for the cringe and fun and got surprised by how genuinely funny and sometimes actually touching the game was. I can’t give it my universal endorsement because it’s not a game for everyone, as I said, it’s extremely NSFW and the menu theme literally includes the singers screaming “SEX SEX” at the top of their lungs. There’s more to this game than the porn, but there’s just so much porn. It can be censored in the settings but it’s unavoidable. However, I still think it’s worth a look just because of how funny it is and how charming the characters are. If you don’t want to play it yourself, at least watch Anima’s playthrough of it. It hasn’t aged super well in some spots but I still go back to it every now and then. Akash: Path of the Five (f/m): This game markets itself as a more “professionally produced” western dating sim, and that’s accurate in some superficial aspects. The game is pretty poorly written, but it’s absolutely gorgeous and has really good English voice acting by actual professional voice actors. The premise is quite self-indulgent, but I genuinely respect that about it. You play as the only female elemental in a village with only men, and all five of your classmates want a piece of you. It’s clear the writers have put some thought into the lore and worldbuilding of this world, but barely any of it comes through in the actual writing and plot, which is basically just a vehicle for you to get together with your boy of choice. The ROs aren’t very well-developed either, and the plot is the same in every route with only minor variations depending on which guy you pick, up to the point where the protag has the same voice lines in some parts regardless of which guy she’s talking about. It also has one extra half-route that’s so bad and pointless I genuinely wonder why they wasted resources on making it instead of spending a bit more on the writing/adding some variations to the main plot. So why am I recommending this game? Well, it’s pretty, and it sounds nice. This game is a himbo, gorgeous but dumb as rocks. Enjoy it for what it is. I know I did. Get it when it’s on sale, I think if I hadn’t gotten it at half-price I would’ve felt a bit more cranky about it. Also Rocco is bae. Mystic Destinies: Serendipity of Aeons (f/m): Yes that’s the full title, no I don’t know what it means either. You may have noticed how most of the games so far I’ve enjoyed because they don’t take themselves too seriously? Well, this one does. It takes itself SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY. Like, way too seriously. It’s a little embarrassing at points because baby, you’re an urban fantasy dating sim. Calm down. But the game has gorgeous art and 3 out of 5 routes are very good. The last route, the one with your teacher, is both the most problematic yet somehow the one that breaks down the very concept of a dating sim within its own narrative (yes, this shit gets fucking META) and it got so wild at the end that 1) I still listen to the soundtrack for that route and 2) I still remember it to this day despite finishing it ages ago. My favorite route is Shou, he’s a sweetheart, but the mindfuck route is so buckwild that I think the game is worth playing just for that. There’s also a route that’s like a neo-noir mystery? I Do Not Know. This game is many, many things and it does them so sincerely and tries so hard, you can’t help but respect it. It doesn’t always stick the landing but man, just let this thing take your hand and wax poetic at you for a bit. Also get this one at a sale because it’s very expensive to get the full version. I got it for 9 bucks on itch.io and I felt that was a fair enough price, I’d say I wouldn’t have minded paying more for it because there’s a lot of content to enjoy and/or be baffled by. Arcade Spirits: This one’s a bit more weird from what I recall, and I honestly couldn’t tell you much about it, but I remember having a very good time with it and recommending it to a friend when she was going through some tough times and she said it made her feel better. I remember it making me feel better, as well. This is a VN about an arcade and the ROs are wonderfully diverse, with very real human conflicts that get explored in each of their routes. It can get quite existential and heavy at times, but in the end it’s a kindhearted game that I think everyone can enjoy. The main character was also, how you say, mood. It’s a game about getting possessed by a video game and then learning self-love. Ebon Light (f/m): This one’s free/name your own price on itch.io so go play it. It’s a weird plot where you play as a girl who ate an elven relic? And then the elves kidnap you because you’re the relic now. All the ROs are extremely pasty (like, literally white, as in literally the color white) dark-haired elves, except for one, who’s an extremely pasty blond elf, so ... diversity? I honestly don’t know what this game is aside from unique. I used to be a bit put off by the art style but now I think it contributes to the general atmosphere. It’s a weird game that technically doesn’t do anything groundbreaking but still left an impression of “huh. weird” in my mind and I think more people should play it. The ROs are all pretty generic dating sim archetypes but done well, with bonus points to Duliae who’s just a massive creep and I love him, and also Vadeyn who’s the only bitch in this house I respect. The worldbuilding is honestly a bit buckwild and I can’t give enough credit for how unique the elves’ culture is in this game. Definitely give it a go. Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds / Hakuoki: Edo Blossoms (f/m): These two are newer releases of an older Japanese visual novel. I wouldn’t call it a dating sim, it’s ... it’s more of a super depressing historical fantasy epic with some minor romance aspects awkwardly wedged in. It’s seriously some of the heaviest and most grimdark shit I’ve ever played in a VN/otome. I don’t understand why it’s a dating sim, it doesn’t read like one, it’s just historical fantasy based on real world events with characters based on real people, and they kill and they die and they grieve and they suffer. The games are literally about the downfall of the Shinsengumi, there’s no way of avoiding everything going to shit and you get to watch and be in the middle of it all as they struggle to stay alive and relevant in a world that doesn’t need them anymore. And there’s the protag in the middle of it all, being useless and submissive and bland just the way the usual otome protag is. I don’t think these games are necessarily fun, and the romance is certainly a lot more downplayed and deeply problematic just based on the age differences alone with some of the men, but the sheer amount of horror and sadness in these games make them stand out above its peers. It’s like watching a war movie. Since most of the characters are based on real people, they feel like real people instead of the usual otome archetypes, and they are so, SO flawed, it’s interesting to just watch them deal with the shit the world throws at them. It’s an Experience, and if you’re up for it, I think it’s worth the time. Cinderella Phenomenon (f/m): This game is free on Steam so go get it. You play as a really, genuinely shitty princess who gets cursed to be poor and forgotten and she has to help one of the ROs break his fairy tale curse so that she can learn about being a good person herself and return to her normal life. This game doesn’t look like much, but it has a genuinely well-written main character who’s actually at the center of each of the stories and in the overarching plot instead of just being around to make eyes at the real protagonists, aka the love interests. Aside from the main character, my favorite part of this game’s writing is how each route slowly but very smoothly expands upon the overarching intrigue. If you play them in a certain order, you get more and more info revealed to you that you didn’t see in other routes, gaps are filled in as you find out more about what actually happened and why, but every route also stands on its own as a full experience and none is more canon than the rest. There’s also some really heavy emotional parental abuse explored, which I found quite potent at times. The romances themselves were alright, I think Karma and Waltz were my faves.

a voltron au? in 2020? it’s more likely than you think

look. LOOK. i know that voltron is stupid and we hate it but lets be honest: everything up until season 3 was pretty good and had lots of potential !!

today i was rewatching voltron and a thought struck me: what if, instead of shiro being cloned, he was chipped and turned to the side of the galra?

so here it is, i did not blink since i thought of this

(warning, i have not seen voltron in a while and this is just knowledge i have stored in my moss brain and stuff i know from rewatching the first season)

au where shiro goes evil bc of what happens @ end of season one instead of the clone thing bc 1) haggar rly could not have made thousands of shiros after bumping into team voltron like what twice? its hella improbable and 2) just… weird

so instead they insert a chip in him that helps them spy and control him just like kuron (the clone) did minus the unlikely storytelling

eventually after the convo with sendak when he was in the pod trying to temp shirp, he does have thoughts about helping zarkon

(“im already infiltrated with the arm, i could just speed up the process by leaving now. save the team the trouble of investing in a leader that’s doomed to fail from the strart.”)

shiro ends up leaving team voltron in season 2 after zarkon goes crazy w the black lion n stuff

^^ this adds to Keith’s reasoning of joining the Blade of Marmora (shiro is his main stability and one of the main reasons he even stuck around with team voltron, so with shiro gone and keith questioning his place as the leader and paladin of the black lion, he decides the BoM is just.. what’s best for him) 

obviously lance isn’t happy with this (“you just told me that i’m a valuable member, now you don’t think YOU are? what logic is that?”)

ofc keith goes anyways

lance becomes paladin of the black lion

allura takes on the red lion

who has blue lion? ...idk this isn’t that thought out (maybe matt after pidge finds her family) (which will happen earlier in the plot since we can forget about the miniplot of black no longer responding to shiro)

enter lotor only this time he has a sidekick and what omg its shiro wow

shiro has that bigger version of his arm that was once offered to him

he’s stronger and scary, but his eyes aren’t the same, he has the strength of a galra but lacks the passion 

in the fight between lotor and zarkon, (and after, of course lots of self doubt and questioning) shiro comes between them and convinces lotor NOT to kill zarkon

then zarkon kills lotor

everyones like oh shit bc surely someone who’s life was just spared wouldn’t kill the person who seems to have the most power

but he did. bc he’s zarkon. and he’s fckn crazy.

shiro doesn’t go back to team voltron bc its too much too easily

instead he takes the place of lotor in the group of gals 

he convinces them all to rebel against the galra

eventually they teach him all about quintessence and all the shit lotor had planned that they can’t do anymore

(lotor wasn’t harvesting alteans in this universe bc what the heck even was that subplot that had little to no relevance to the main storyline?

instead he was trying to find a way to technologically bring back alteans (kinda like how allure’s dad was originally preserved in s1)

i know nothing about How Stuff Works and i dont remember much about quintessence n shit but the basic idea is that when tying in some of a persons artifacts with technology stuff and some quintessence then boom. a weird route from astral projection land to the team is created and ppl can come back or smth idfk

but lotor was never able to get the comet so shiro decides he and the gals will get that comet and try to bring back as many alteans as they can

^ all this while infiltrating as many galra fleets as possible + saving planets under galra empire

they personally visit every planet that lotor was in charge of and release them from galra control

they are able to bring back an altean (its romelle) and she talks abt her friend who lives on the balmera and they go to the balmera and its revealed that it was shay’s great grandmother so romelle asks where shay is and shay’s family is like with team voltron of course

so

they take her

obviously team voltron, the BoM and the Rebels r very hesitant to make contact but they decide to try it out

keith refuses to meet, instead he’s on the team that stands guard

reunions !! 

romelle and shay hit it off and hunk makes a dinner much like roselle’s past (allura and coran also hang out and they all vibe)

lance talks to shiro abt everything to do with keith and shiro is like dude do u??? like him?

and lance is like what? no ofc not—oh shit.

and keith ✨overhears ✨

pidge matt and shiro catch up n shit

meanwhile keith is like Hey Lance Uhhhhhh What The Fuck

they end up being like hey since we’re all here and we hate zarkon what if we make a plan to end the galra’s reign Right Now

so they do

and y’all.. it’s hella baller plan

except something is going wrong and in the middle of an attack zarkon is able to get the upper hand 

due to haggar’s magic and lance’s mental and emotional instability, zarkon is able to get in his head

everyone is trying to talk him down but they’re all under a lot of pressure

allura is also conflicted bc she wanted to be black lion bc she wanted to rub it in to zarkon’s face that she was stronger than he and that she could beat him at his own game

but the negativity and instability feeds into zarkon’s power and makes him and haggar stronger as they pull in voltron to finally take over the team and regain their status as the most powerful alien race

hunk realizes this and is like okay can y’all stop being negative? its clearly affecting them in a good way and it makes us an easier target

and pidge is like im literally a child pls i don’t wanna die i just got my family back it can’t end like this

shiro realizes what’s going on and he goes to save them

he uses all his energy, pulling in the positive memories (everything: first learning about space, becoming a teacher, meeting adam, meeting keith, first making team voltron, his friends and family--all of it) to push back zarkon and haggar’s powers and battle once more in the astral realm 

in defeating zarkon, shiro loses his life

afterwards keith enters the ship in a hurry and is like where the fuck is shiro where’s my brother what did you do what happened

and team voltron is like hey man.. we are so so sorry

and keith cries because the last thing he ever said to shiro was mean

lance feels like its all his fault since he was supposed to be a good leader

they talk about separately while hunk pidge and allura discuss

krolia is like keith we, ur family, are here for u

and axca is there and shes like um?? hey?? sry for trying to kill u bro

and he’s like i absolutely do not wanna talk i just lost my closest friend

they talk about it later

axca tells keith abt shiro finishing lotor’s work and abt bringing people back and well.. 

they use the methods to help keith visit shiro in the astral realm

shiro is like oh uh hey i was just having a drink w adam we r happy

and keith is like shiro u fuckhead why would u sacrifice urself

shiro sighs bc cmon keith you KNOW why “remember what i always said? we can’t focus on what went wrong..”

“we’ve got to figure out how to make it right” keith finishes

keith breaks tf down crying and screams apologizing

“i love u shiro. ur a like a big brother to me.”

and shiro is like yeah i know and ilyt but hey. everyone’s safe and happy. im safe and happy. & you deserve to be too. you don’t need me anymore.

so the galra rule is over and everyone goes to their respected planets

romelle and the other alteans as well as some galra babes hang in earth

romelle and shay r in an apartment together and have a garden

allura realizes she may not have been the strongest leader for voltron, and  couldn’t stop zarkon on her own but that physical strength doesn’t define her as a whole

her heart is strong enough to care for everyone, so thats what she does

allura starts running an inn for alteans filled with painted sceneries like altea in case anyone ever needs a reminder of home

when lance reunites with his family its a real tearjerker

rachel finally gets her jacket back and veronica is like So.. Axca 👀

the McClain’s host a huge party for everyone and it’s filled with lots of hugs and loud music and even tho lance was way too tired, he danced all night

he wouldn’t trade his family for the world—genetic and chosen

when hunk reunites with his parents they don’t let him out the house for hours, he tells them all about his new best friend shay as well as hundreds of his favorites stories from space

they are so, so proud of him

hunk spends the next days playing minecraft and animal crossing with pidge, giving their brains a rest from being on hyperdrive for 3 yrs straight

when pidge gets home she finally gets grounded by her mom, only being allowed to leave the house to see her old teammates

(same for matt and her dad)

(her mother cries so hard when they opened the door to the home)

the holt family holds movie nights filled with popcorn, cuddles, and tears

keith moves in with the holt family, and finally accepts that he has a home as well as a family

he often goes on trips with the BoM but mostly just stays on earth

after a Team Voltron sleepover in the altea inn keith and lance decide to get an apartment together and live their lives in love and in peace

everyone gets together once a year in celebration of shiro and the sacrifice he made for them

they use the ship to visit Astral Shiro and once they even met adam

everyone laughs and catches up and just... live their lives

everyone is happy

pls ignore any and all errors lmao

again, just a thought !! maybe i’ll write a fic abt it idk for sure but yeah

feel free to add anything <3

Ya girl is watching the latest HSM series ep and Imma live blog it hshshs and will add my reactions under the cut so it doesn't end up a long post. Anyways, let's goo:

AHHHH THE MORNING SHOW WITH GINA AND EJ WE LOVE TO SEE IT

They really said we're gonna let life imitate art with Nini and Olivia huh

Ricky was SUPPORTIVE??? Damnn I really thought we gonna get a classic Ricky tantrum....

But also wow sir that sounds salty and should definitely talk to someone abt how you're feeling...A therapist maybe 👀

I know we needed to contextualise how Ricky felt abt the song but I really wanted to see Nini's interview in full!!

Sebby you're so cute I do wanna see yall do DEH

Shjshshs not the rights not being available for another 5 years 😭😭

I dunno how they're in great shape and closer to the Menkies Gold after not having a single proper rehearsal, but go off Miss Jenn

Omg honestly Kourt's costumes are always amazing and on point Imma excited to see it

Kourt is such a simp we love to see it

Carlos is so pissy this episode we love to see it shshhs

Also love the way Seb calms him down and keeps him nice it's such a funny dynamic

"We had 20 people make our Belle dress over 50 hours" Okay North High shut the fuck up

I'm calling it now the reason North High knows so much is cos Howie is the leak and Kourt has been unwittingly telling him. The way her phone keeps going off as they discuss how North High knows everything is really good foreshadowing if my prediction is right

Also like her phone went off just as Carlos said "How did they know that?" THAT'S PEAK FORESHADOWING

If Howie ain't in North High, I dunno what Tim is doing

GSJAGSHAH KOURTNEY MAKING ABS FOR EJ I CANNOT

"I have abs" We know sweetie

"I PADDED THE THUSH FOR YOU" "AWW THANKS KOURT I NEEDED THAT" THIS INTERACTION IS EVERYTHING THAT WAS SO FUNNY!! I love that it is now canon that EJ has abs but no butt love that for him

Okay but like damn these costumes are great!! North High can fuck right off with its high end ones I just wanna see lowkey homemade costumes by students; I'd watch a Broadway show if I wanted to see professional costumes okay

Damn Carlos has killer eyesight clocking in that mask in the trunk

GINA BBY DON'T SAY THAT AND HAHSGSH NINI NUDGING HER WAS SO FUNNY

Nini's little look over at Gina was like "Omg you guys my girlfriend is so cute and dumb" GINI STANS HOW WE FEELING?

Miss Jenn don't be that naive, your boyfriend probably put them up to it

That Insta page is prophetic with their timing tbh; all the info is a leak obviously looking at your Howie but like the timing of it all. Those kiddos don't know that they are discussing the stolen mask at this exact moment (Kourt has put down her phone after Carlos snapped at her so Howie doesn't know they are talking abt it rn)

"We don't dance with the enemy" *cuts to her dancing with Zackey later*

SEBBY WEARING THE TEACUP COSTUME OMG HE'S GOING MAKE SUCH A CUTE CHIP (yes I am still mad Seb/Joe was robbed but Imma fangirl over the costume anyway)

Wtf why does North High look so expensive - they are literally in the same district as East High right??? How did they get this much funding

North High is a very artsy and rich for a public school; they should have had Nini go here instead of YAC tbh (like this campus feels like what YAC should have been) NOW THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN INTERESTING STORYLINE

Seblos' dynamic IS ON POINT THIS EP I really love my bois so much and their back and forth is hilarious

Shhshs DIANE who loves volleyball and North High okay I totally believe it

WHY ARE RED AND ASHLYN SO KINKY EVERY DAMN EPISODE TIM THESE ARE UNDERAGED CHARACTERS STOP IT

Shshsh we love Gina knowing herself and practicing self control by volunteering to be the lookout

Omg yall listen to Carlos and stfu they are so lucky no one saw or heard them yelling Wildcats

Oh no no no no no Miss Jenn you gonna get sucked in; this is gonna be so messy

Omg I saw someone post about this scene before I watched the ep YALL ARE RIGHT THAT BOI HITTING ON GINA IS SO FINE Babes go for that one, not EJ

NOT THEM FAKE DATING UGH E W TIM STOP MAKING ROMANTIC PORTWELL A T H I N G I honestly do not understand how some of yall can ship it romantically knowing Sofia is a whole underaged babey and Matty is a whole ass grown man - like I get the appeal of the Wonderstudies getting together and they do have chemistry but the irl age gap is creepy and outweighs the appeal of shipping them romantically

As I always say; Portwell/Wonderstudies should be a BROTP not an OTP

Ugh Brotp Portwell would have clocked Lily right away; romantic Portwell making googly eyes at each other isn't helping anyone

Living for Nini getting the recognition she deserves - I really like her solo arc this season she's so much more interesting without Ricky tbh

Aww Kourt you simp I love her and I'm so happy she's happy I wanna be wrong about Howie being a North High kid

Where is the mask??

OHMYGOD THESE KIDS COMING IN LIKE A HORROR MOVIE

Lily really wishes she was Jesse St. James huh; you could never Lily so stop

Andrew Barth Feldman and his cute little French accent I love him so much

Hnng Miss Jenn gonna get manipulated by this hoe. Omg wowow Zackey really is a hoe, making out with another girl before the show THE AUDACITY OF HIM SAYING MISS JENN WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH I WILL THROW HANDS WITH THIS MOFO

Wait the kids didn't steal it BUT WHAT IF ZACKEY DID

Ssjsgfajhdfg I CANNOT WITH ANDREW'S ACCENT but I can't tell if its really bad or really good but I'm also confused why didn't they just cast a French person as Antonie shshhs Antoine is adorableee and a little shit the best type of character

Lily is so annoying b y e sis bye and Olivia Keegan is talented I just wish they didn't make her character such a cartoony villain type

"How about if we bop to the top" SEBBY I LOVE YOU AND NEVER STOP BEING SO CUTE I SWEAR and Awww Carlos called him Honey I am s o f t

Hnng why do these fools are really gonna give into North High calling them chickens

OHHH NO SHE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT ABOUT ASHLYN FUCK A DANCE OFF I AM ABOUT TO THROW HANDS WITH A 16 YEAR OLD

"She told us not to dance with the enemy. She's better than this" No Sebby, she's not *cuts to her dancing with Zackey* AND OMG THE WAY I SAW THIS EDIT COMING BEFORE IT CAME

Ooooh I like this song wayyy more whatever the mess The Mob Song became (when I first heard it drop on Spotify yesterday) Around You is such a great song musically and lyrically very relevant to these two and gosh I love their voices together

They have so much chemistry damn, go home Mike (well he technically has oop) and Mr. Mazzara

YES YOU DO MISS JENN YOU ALWAYS HAD IT

Oh god this is the scene from the trailer; she's gonna make a move on Ricky isn't she?? Leave him alone Lily he doesn't need a 3rd girl to be confused about he needs a therapist

Lily shut the fuck up with quasi; STOP TRYING TO MAKE QUASI HAPPEN

"I love Nini's song" Sure, Jan.

...Okay yes you should have called him out but don't bait him LIKE THAT oop there's the scene from the trailer

Ohmygod is Andrew Barth Feldman gonna hit on Ashlyn

Okay this is so cute but also I am VERY annoyed with the way this show handles its characters like they aren't relevant or important unless they get into a relationship or a love triangle?? That's such a shitty way to give out screentime and arcs to characters. Is it not enough to develop the characters on their own and strengthen their friendship???

HUH TIM why you so obsessed with compulsory heterosexuality??(well also homosexuality for Seblos but they are the only ones I'm not annoyed with their relationship cos its a hella big step for Disney to have a gay couple and their relationship isn't in our faces or overshadows the plot and its just spinkles of cuteness every time they interact - they are honestly who Rini wishes they were; besties in love. They are a couple that Tim should be taking notes from; leave the relationship drama in the background, focus on the theatre and friendship aspect of everything)

My mini rant aside; this is a very adorable interaction between Ashlyn and Antoine.

"TOM HOLLAND ON STILTS" GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT COMPARISON I AM SCREAMING ANTOINE THAT'S SO FUNNY

This is so funny he keeps picking out the hottest guys of the group; as if he himself isn't the French version of Big Red they look super alike ngl shshsh

WHY YOU RUIN IT WITH THAT ANTOINE I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

Drama between Antoine and Red is already spicing up shshsh I cannot

Why are you so dramatic with the shuffle Lily gtfo of here...also this doesn't make sense?? She wasn't even on a BATB playlist; what if a non BATB song came on ahahah

Good to know they aren't big fans of The Mob Song like I am Awww EJ you cutie, okay I will appreciate the OG Mob Song just for you

OH WAIT HE PROLLY LIKES IT COS ITS A GASTON LED SONG TIM GIMME THE EJ SOLO I DESERVE IN THIS NUMBER

I'm being robbed of Gaston for the last 7 eps I at least deserve an EJ solo for compensation

The way the set looks straight out of Broadway but also like omg the blue lighting and fancy stage gave me intense flashbacks to that Glee episode where Vocal Adrenaline sang Bohemian Rhapsody

RICKY STOP BEING SALTY AND ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

OMG THE SUBTITLES SAID ITS HOWIE SINGING AS THE BEAST I FUCKING CALLED IT

Howie you hoe you gonna break my girl Kourtney's heart

Yeah...still not a fan of Antoine's Dance Remix

Yall know Gina would kill the dance number if she wasn't wearing that fit

Okay but it's Gaston led song WHY DOES EVERYONE BUT EJ HAVE A SOLO IN THIS SONG??

First the Beasts led it (Howie sounded better than Ricky ngl), then the Lumieres (their voices worked hella well together; I always forget what a talented singer Frankie is THEY NEED TO GIVE HIM A SOLO SONG) and now the Belles are going at it (Ashlyn's voice is superior)

BIG RED BEING JEALOUS AND SALTY IS SO FUNNY ITS LIKE A PUPPY BEING ANGRY I CRI

...Did anyone really win, Lily??? STFU

CARLOS IS RIGHT AND HE SHOULD SAY IT

Oooh I did see someone talk about this when the Rose Song dropped last week, apparently its illegal to add songs to a musical you're doing for a school play; I really thought the show would brush past that irl rule but I guess they are playing into it

THE WAY EVERYONE TURNED TO EJ FOR THE SPORTS METAPHOR I AM D Y I N G AND HIS FACE WAS GOLDEN! ITS LIKE THAT LISA SIMPSON MEME SHHSHSH

Okay Nini is being a little pissy about leaving her song out of the show and its a little selfish to wanna keep it at the risk of being disqualified but I also understand why she's hurt

Everyone is dog piling on her right now being against her idea and it feels like they are being against her song and her herself instead of them not wanting to be disqualified. Also like she poured her heart and soul into the song after Miss Jenn lowkey rushed her to write it. So I can see why this feels like a rejection of her and her song and why she's so hurt rather than her seeing the big picture right now

It doesn't help that Ricky said the final blow causing her to walk off

Okay maybe Zackey gets some rights for being chill and wanting the kids to be peers

THIS MOTHERFUCKER I KNEW HE WAS SHADY Also the way I gasped even though I predicted he stole the mask halfway through this ep shshsh

Stab him Miss Jenn STAB HIM

Bitch why you so threatened by East High if yall have such a Broadway-esque show planned??? They honestly should have stuck to the Little Mermaid; I really wanted to see the aquarium

"It's just a song Ricky" "A song can mean everything" Do you get deja vu? Anyone else getting intense flashbacks to Jan when DL first dropped and all the drama happened 👀

YES PLEASE STAY CO ANCHORS Gosh I love them so much esp once you take the romantic connotations out of their interactions

ROUGE GRAND I'M SCREAMING

I love this long take of checking in with everyone's relationship status (still hate how romantically focused this show has become but still a cool shot)

I K N E W IT I WAS RIGHT

Okay but like looking at Kourtney's face I have never wanted to be wrong so bad GOD I HATE IT HERE I really think he likes her and I hope they work it out

Nini setting up her own music acc feels like when Olivia rebranded her whole IG to be just for her music stuff - love this for both of them

AHHHHH SHE'S NINA NOW YALL

I know everyone loves her as Nini but like I have always loved the name Nina and it really suits her to be honest also shows how she's growing up now and kind of leans into the lyric "I won't be confined to your point of view" from The Rose Song because Nini is the nickname Ricky gave her so it shows that she's outgrowing him too and I love that for her!

Overall thoughts; they really crammed all the North High drama into one ep huh. Personally would have liked it if all of this was spread out throughout the last few episodes; like different hijinks for every episode. I'm just a big fan of properly setting up the overall arc over the season instead of patching it together closer to the climax/end of the show. Cos now it lowkey feels like two different seasons - 2A felt like The Rini/Rina Show esp with YAC storyline and whatever was going on with Rina and now 2B is finally feeling like what this season should have been all this time

the stuff we learned in trespasser and in tevinter nights really makes the elven cave found in the dalish elf origin make a lot more sense. especially the strange statue that reads "A strange statue commemorating the emergence of--and short-lived trading with--dwarves who dug too high and too frugal and struck elves".

Hi Nonnie! This answer is cut for length.

Ahh, the first Brecilian Forest ruins.. in a way it’s kind of where it all began. Who knew that the Dalish Origin, which arguably of the 6 seemed the most unrelated/disconnected from the main narrative of DAO, would not only come to have the ‘default’ BioWare Warden and its clan prominently featured in DA2, but turn out in the end to be so plot relevant? It’s the staging ground for everything to do with eluvians and the Taint that would come later in the series and play a key role, and it’s there that we get the first esoteric hints about these aspects of the Thedosian past and of the major overarching plot that they’ve been building towards since before DAO was launched.

[What Tamlen Saw]

Tamlen perceives the ruins to be human architecture, and notes the presence of a statue of the People (the one he and Mahariel look at in a cutscene is of Falon’Din, and Marethari later wonders if the ruins were a temple to an old god), and a stone with carvings on it which he suspects are written elvish. “Can these ruins date back to the time of Arlathan? We must have lived in other places, too. Even if elves didn’t live here, its architects knew of our gods.” “This looks like a very old human place. Why would they build this? And why would elven artifacts be here? Maybe some of our ancestors lived here, in caves, like the dwarves. Maybe whoever lived here still wrote and spoke elven.” “I'd never have guessed ancient elves might have lived here - with humans!” When Merrill arrives she also feels that the ruins are of human origin, yet with elven artifacts scattered throughout. The in-game map for the area labels it “Elven Ruins”, and game item category-wise the ruins contain Tevinter-type treasure. Duncan later says the eluvian is Tevinter in origin and used for communication, and of course we know he’s mistaken in his knowledge here, both in terms of origin and use. Were Tamlen and Merrill also incorrect in their assessment of the architecture as human?

Then as you say, if you explore a little, the Strange Statue reads “A strange statue commemorating the emergence of--and short-lived trading with--dwarves who dug too high and too frugal and struck elves". The statue visually looks dwarven to me, short and broad and blocky and with the suggestion of helmet-like lines looking like a stylized and simplified version of the head and shoulders of one of the iconic repeating dwarf statue assets. The statue’s legend itself is a meta allusion to the Dug Too Deep trope. It’s a humorous reference to and reversal of one of the archetypal instances of this trope, which is the dwarves of Lord of the Rings: “Moria. You fear to go into those mines. The Dwarves dug too greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke in the darkness of Khazad-dûm... shadow and flame.” (The Balrog)

[The Balrog Theory: old post from before I named it, more recent posts one and two]

So we have “Elven Ruins”, containing elven artifacts and writing and statues, but which are read by two characters as having human architecture, and which have Tevinter items and assets, and which also contain a dwarven statue commemorating a trading relationship with the elves who lived there. Apparent evidence of three different races.. what are we to make of all that? The mystery continues in the main game with the Brecilian Ruins. Given the location in the same forest and the visual resemblance to the Origin ruins, I think it’s safe to assume they’re of a kind. These other ruins contain Elven Tombs and the imprisoned soul of an Arcane Warrior who remembers them as a place “where the Eldest [elves] come to slumber and [were] visited by those who offer tribute to the gods on their behalf”. Yet our companions notice both elven and Tevinter elements: "The ruins certainly look Tevinter, but are filled with elven trappings. How very odd,” “Is this an elven place? Did the elves live underground just like the dwarves?", “It seems that elves once lived with the Tevinter humans? Or the Tevinter built this place for them? I never heard of such thing”, "I wonder what this ruin used to be. Is it Tevinter, or elven?". The trapped soul recalls that it was humans who built this place, and that both humans and elves were there. 

The ruins stuff, despite the dwarf reference or perhaps except for it, leans away from elves and dwarves and towards elves and humans. (Saying that, we don’t have all the pieces yet, especially considering what the trapped soul remembers, which isn’t clear but is some kind of ancient war: “Something else, something that killed both the humans and elves that were here. You see images of a great battle, elves and humans both screaming and attempting to flee from some terrible presence. What that presence was is blurry and lost to time.” What was that? Other humans? The First Blight? But at the time of the First Blight elves were slaves in Tevinter, not people who they cohabited with and apparently built elaborate Burial Chambers for, for their elders? Unless it’s one of those Tevinter-built-on-Arlathan-bones situations, and the trapped soul is remembering humans who lived there who had elven slaves among them. But if they were slaves, would they even permit one of them to become an Arcane Warrior? Do you guys’ heads hurt or is it just me?)

The elves and dwarves stuff is another, different strand. I conceptualize this stuff like:

interactions between ancient elves and humans/Tevinter long ago

interactions between Mythal/the Evanuris/ancient elves and dwarves/the Titans long ago

In TN we find a Ghilan’nain lab-pool beneath a dwarven thaig. The Wardens in that story descend into areas of dwarven make then come across the ancient elven bas-reliefs and iconography and everything in deeper areas that are exclusively elven. The narrative mentions that Grey Wardens have previously found a mix of elven architecture deep down in the Roads. In Trespasser and Descent are the flags for what Mythal/Evanuris/ancient elves might have once done to the dwarves/Titans.

The Torn Notebooks in the Deep Roads are telling -

These statues are old. Better shape than anything I've seen on the surface. Many of them are for Mythal, though. And Fen'Harel. Not in a spot of honor, but guarding, attending.

Protector and All-Mother, why are you honored here, so far from the light of the sun? And why was the Dread Wolf at your side?

These statues are older than anything I saw in my days with the clan. The area's dwarven, though. What were the ancient elves doing down here? Mining? Where were the dwarves? Easier to have them mine it. Not a trading post. You don't go into a friend's home, knock over their gods, and put up your own.

War? I don't remember any legends about our people fighting the dwarves. Though I remember my Keeper telling a story about how the dwarves fear the sun because of Elgar'nan's fire. A metaphor for the elves of Arlathan driving the dwarves underground?

Written beside each elven line is a corresponding phrase, likely a translation:

I am empty, filled with nothing(?), Mythal gives you dreams. It fills you, within you(?), Making our leaders proud. My little stones, Never yours the sun. Forever, forever.

Hahren said we had lost some of the old words. What if they have changed? Durgen'lin from durgen'len? Little dwarves, never yours the sun? What did Mythal do here?

What did Mythal do here indeed.. Well, something caused the Titans to fall, and the fate of the dwarves with them. The Evanuris/ancient elves hunted the Titans, and saw the dwarves as “witless” and “soulless”. Their mining of the Titans’ bodies for their blood and hearts (powerful resources) is covered in the prior Balrog links. Eventually Mythal was hailed as an adjudicator and savior for striking down the Titans and giving their ‘land’ to the People. Suspect this is what sundered the dwarves’ original connection to their Titan parents. Generations later the dwarves of Kal-Repartha still feared the urtok (dragon) and had folktales of a dragon scourge that they were still worried about even then.

Skipping back to the dwarven trading relationship with that group of elves, it wouldn’t be the first time dwarves and elves struck up an amicable relationship in times past. After the destruction of Arlathan, some elves who fled formed an alliance with dwarves of the ancient settlement Cad'halash, and they took refuge and hid there to escape the Imperium, ostensibly. “The Lights of Arlathan will illuminate the scryer’s path. The Archons possessed them, but they were misused, befouled and lost, like so much the Imperium touched. Some were saved, carried by fugitives from the elven city. Their sorrow awoke the Stone and her children sheltered them. They found a sanctuary in the deep halls of Cad’halash, now known as Cadash.” It’s revealed that Kal-Sharok destroyed Cad’halash after discovering they were hiding elves there, in order to cover that up so it wouldn’t risk their alliance with the Imperium.

Not sure how to tl;dr this ramble. Maybe, I don’t know if the Elven Ruins and the Brecilian Ruins themselves are connected to the ancient elf-dwarf conflict, they seem primarily elf-human in makeup. There’s definitely a Lord of the Rings Easter egg. But definitely oh man, yeah, what we can infer about those Mythal/Evanuris/ancient elf interactions with the dwarves from Descent, Trespasser, and Tevinter Nights is.. arresting, to say the least (Titans/dwarf stuff on this front for DA4 pls 🙏). Maybe, assuming it’s even temporally relevant, the trading dwarves’ relationship with the elves they met there was short-lived and the statue legend is phrased in such a way (as to imply that them meeting the elves was a bad thing that they would have been better without) because of what would eventually happen between elves and dwarves? That legend (and potentially the Evanuris statues in the Elven Ruins) remind me a lot of “Not a trading post. You don't go into a friend's home, knock over their gods, and put up your own.”

Was the “terrible presence” killing humans and elves in that place that the Arcane Warrior’s soul remembered, an angry Titan?

Dark Cybertron Chapter 1: Welcome to Comic Event Hell

You know what readers love? When the stories they’ve gotten invested in over the course of a couple years get interrupted for some pseudo-crossover bullshit.

And you know what writers love? When the story they’ve been crafting over the course of a couple years get interrupted for some pseudo-crossover bullshit.

Did I say love?

Because I didn’t mean it.

“Dark Cybertron” was penned by John Barber and James Roberts, with collaboration with comic writer and artist Phil Jimenez, and was published from early November, 2013 to late March, 2014. Atilio Rojo, James Raiz, and Livio Ramondelli did the art, each responsible for scenes in specific locations, with Robert Gill filling in as needed. Alex Milne, Andrew Griffith, and Brendan Cahill would also contribute pencils to the first issue and the back half of the series. It was a celebration of the 30th anniversary of the franchise, and the second birthday of Phase Two... which went on for over four months, but never mind that!

Both "Dark Cybertron” and its preliminary materials were made to go alongside the Transformers: Generations toy-line, each issue being included as a toy pack-in with whatever character was being featured… or, at least, that was the plan. Sometimes it didn’t work out. Regardless, this storyline was created to sell toys directly, as opposed to the MTMTE/RID series being made to sell toys more through the power of suggestion. It’s a small distinction, but important, because it will help explain any lack of soul one may perceive while they read “Dark Cybertron”.

“But Hannz!” you cry out, reaching to grab me by the throat and shake me like a rag doll, because to you I’m merely a faceless voice on the internet. “Surely by calling this specific storyline soulless, you’re completely ignoring the very nature of this franchise that you’re almost uncomfortably invested in!”

To which I’ll say this: look, I’m pretty realistic about where my giant space robots came from; Transformers as a franchise would not exist the way it does without Ronald Reagan introducing the Free Market to literal children and fucking up how we interact with media for the rest of time. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and that rings especially true when I’ve got a Spinister on my bookshelf staring me down as I write this, that was likely made out of plastics which either involved blood oil or unethical labor practices, if not both.

However!

The choices of a company to have their comic license holders to cook up an entire plot that derails what they’ve already got planned out for toy tie-in comics is a completely different animal than what IDW had had going on up to this point. Phase Two had been about exploring different ideas that hadn’t been able to be explored during the war, and seeing what happens when you take away a third of the logline for Transformers G1 as a whole. Being a part of a brand of toys was almost inconsequential to how the stories were being told; even the Spotlights, which were also toy tie-in comics, had plenty of charm to them, if only because there weren’t quite as many constraints placed on the writers, and they were stand-alone issues.

Of course, being tie-in comics isn’t the only reason that “Dark Cybertron” is a bit of a slog, considering everything IDW itself was trying to get done within this storyline, but we’ll cover the publishing company’s/Simon Furman’s/Transformers’ tumultuous relationship with the concept of gender identity and expression later on, when it becomes relevant to the story proper. This point also ties into the interesting origin of Windblade, who we’ll meet in a few issues, and what happens when you let your fanbase have a taste of power and forget that people might like to see themselves represented in the media they consume.

“Dark Cybertron” is what ended up making me stop reading MTMTE the first time I tried it in 2015. A big part of it was because it forced the reader to need so much information from RID and even events prior to Phase Two, it wasn’t very fun to try to parse what was going on, on top of the writing beginning to flag because of obvious constraints to what Barber and Roberts could actually do, both within their deadlines and the rules put in place by their higher ups for the event.

 “Dark Cybertron” is the result of the sort of executive meddling that kills reader enjoyment by requiring writers to cram their two worlds together as quickly as possible, without the option to go for nuance because there simply isn’t time. The reason we have four separate artists for the front half of this story is because Milne and Griffith didn’t have time to draw both their current workload and “Dark Cybertron” at the same time... but sales probably went up due to the nature of how the story was published, so I’m sure they didn’t really see a problem with it.

That’s a general “they”, not a Milne and Griffith “they”.

In short, we’ve got license contract obligations, fan-poll obligations, and gender stuff fighting for space within the next 12 issues, which will be published in the span of roughly four months. Things are probably going to be a little bloated and sloppy.

Regardless of any of these points, this is what we’ve got. It’s not like it’s all bad- “Dark Cybertron” has the benefit of being written by two people who had been working closely before it had even been conceptualized. Barber was the senior editor for MTMTE, and IDW as a whole until he left in 2016. It also isn’t a proper crossover- y’know, where two completely separate titles get mashed together for a bit. MTMTE and RID exist in the same universe, just have their own things going on, so a decent amount of things still carry over without you needing to have read every single thing in both. The writing, while not quite up to par with pieces that had more creative freedom and breathing room between scenes, is still recognizable as being Barber and Roberts’. Their voices are still here, they’re just strained under the weight of everything that has to be said inside of 12 issues.

With all THAT out of the way, let’s dive in to Dark Dawn: Dark Cybertron Chapter 1.

We get a quick rundown of the most basic information you’ll need for this entire story to make sense, as we reintroduce the fact that Shockwave is an ecoterrorist with more agendas than a daily planner factory on meth, and also that he grows magic crystals. I don’t care what he says, the Ores are fucking space-magic. If you don’t want to read through all of RID for everything else, please see Robots in Disguise (2012), #1-22- A Recap, For Reference Purposes.  We also get a quick rundown of the Lost Lighters’ deal, as Swerve potentially has a meta-episode.

Be careful what you fucking wish for, bucko.

Our story proper starts with a flashback to the shittiest road trip Cyclonus ever went on, as the Ark 1 finds itself at the edge of a mysterious portal. This is likely why he wasn’t super thrilled when the portal to Luna 1 showed up- portals are probably a touchy subject for him.

Jhiaxus doesn’t know what this portal is- surely this means that science has failed us, and it’s time to call in the religious crowd to try and suss out what’s going on here.

It’s moments like this that make me wonder what exactly happened in the Dead Universe that made Cyclonus’ cheek meat just pack up and leave.

Now, we know that Cyclonus is correct here, because we as readers have more knowledge than the characters at this point, but Jhiaxus tries to write off this theory as hogwash, because he is a man of rationality and science. This is a slight removal from his character in the present, whose most notable traits seem to be a lack of ethics and screaming.

Everyone here seems to be slightly different from their current iterations, actually; Galvatron doesn’t say a word as he steps between Jhiaxus and Cyclonus, only using his body to communicate that the scientist might want to back off. Cyclonus himself is certainly the wordiest we’ve ever seen him to be, droning on through his actual thought process before he comes to a conclusion on what exactly they’ve found. Compare this to the Cyclonus of today, who only deigns to grace everyone with his voice if they outright threaten him, have something he wants, or are Tailgate. If he were to ever pull this verbal meandering on board the Lost Light, people would probably assume he’s having a stroke.

Nova Prime- you remember him, don’t you?- gives not a fuck about the Dead Universe, only what it means for him personally. And what it means for him is more locations to subjugate, because he is cartoonishly evil. His character is the least removed from his present-day iteration out of everyone. He tells the crew they’ll be getting a little closer, only for the portal to do the work for them, by way of dark energy tentacles.

Wow, the pilot for the Ark 1 really is just straight-up named Butt, isn’t he? And what the fuck is that face you’re making, Cyclonus? Are you- oh my god, are you emoting? Oh my god, he’s emoting.

As the Ark 1 is pulled to its doom, Jhiaxus makes a quick phone call to Shockwave to tell him he’s his favorite, and to keep up the good work.

In the present, Shockwave reflects on just how friggin’ long this whole ordeal has taken. Fortunately, Waspinator and the Titan are almost here, and he can hardly wait.

Not, uh, that he’s got emotions or anything. It’s been established that he doesn’t have those anymore. Is impatience an emotion? Does that count?

Shockwave seems like he’d be really frustrating to write for.

Anyway, the Titan shows up, the Ore inside him and the Ore in the underground Crystal City combine, and the Titan starts screaming because everything hurts. Shockwave’s about as thrilled as he can be about the situation, given his lack of emotions.

Above Crystal City, we finally get back to that nonsense about the early sunrise, as someone- maybe Starscream, given the color of the narration box- waxes poetic on the planet of Cybertron, wartorn and wild in its rebirth, ruled by paranoia that has nothing to bounce off of, and so creates its own walls.

Then we get a detailed shot of Rattrap’s mug, and the moment is broken.

Rattrap’s character is a lot of fun in everything he gets tossed into, but you’re a goddamn liar if you think he’s pretty to look at. You are lying to yourself, and I won’t apologize for saying it.

Starscream walks out of his room in his hot new body, feeling fine and ready to take on the world. We’ll check in on him later in the day to see how that positive mentality is working out for him.

So, the sun hasn’t moved, and it’s way too early for the sun to even be up right now. That’s weird. Because I guess he didn’t know how the sun works, Starscream’s only just realized that this is perhaps a problem. He does some computer work and realizes that this is indeed a very bad thing, and asks that Rattrap call the Autobots. Not the ones who fucked off into the wilderness, the other ones. The gay, space ones.

Up in space, Orion Pax and his pals have found themselves in dire straits, the collapsing Gorlam Prime sucking their ship back down as the Death Ore consumes everything.

That’s not how engines work! And I think it really says something about the “Prelude” issues that I completely forgot why Wheelie was down an arm for a solid five seconds.

It turns out that Orion was the narrator the entire time, which I should have known- since when is the once and future Optimus Prime not the primary voice in any media he appears in?

It’s looking rough for the fellas, but luckily we’ve got to get the plot rolling, so the Lost Light VZZZZTs into existence and picks up the Skyroller to place it gently into its belly.

Orion isn’t exactly jazzed about the fact that Rodimus didn’t listen to what he told him, not even bothering to thank the guy for saving his life. I say y’all keep going on your Thunderclash Quest and leave this ungrateful loser behind. No space yachting for you, Orion.

The rest of the Pax Posse enter the Lost Light proper, and Hardhead reveals that he nearly joined the Quest, before he saw who all would be coming with, while Garnak has a tearful reunion with Rodimus. The fact that he’s calling him Sir- which I don’t recall him doing in Transformers (2009), at least not in a way that seems reminiscent of an unfortunate Antebellum Period Romance- feels rather weird, but I’m glad someone’s fucking happy to see Rodimus at least. Ultra Magnus asks Orion if he’ll be assuming command of the vessel, as Rodimus tries not to look horrified by the thought alone, but fortunately Orion’s not going to pull his “I’m Optimus Prime and I Can Do What I Want” Card just yet.

Smash cut to the bridge, as Rodimus tries to make himself sound competent, when Starscream calls. Orion doesn’t like that Starscream has their number, Perceptor almost reveals the fact that this ship technically doesn’t belong to a faction, likely due to being purchased after the war, and Cyclonus gets brought in for his professional opinion.

As it turns out, that early sunrise isn’t a sunrise at all, but a portal to the Dead Universe. This is a problem, because the Dead Universe really sucks, and you don’t want to go there, especially if you enjoy being alive. Orion seems more concerned about the fact that Starscream is ruling the planet, and Bumblebee is nowhere to be found.

Speaking of Bumblebee, he and all his camp buddies are psyching themselves up for a confrontation.

Swoop, please, this is hardly the time for crudeness.

The Dinobots, sick of Bumblebee’s dithering about, decide they’re going to fight the fucking sun and gear up. Prowl, though generally disliking their brand of problem-solving, does share his begrudging respect of their can-do attitude.

Their can-do attitude over fighting the fucking sun.

Then an earthquake happens and the ground rips open to reveal that Titan that Waspinator showed up with.

Shockwave takes over the narration at this point, and we get artsy, as we see events that haven’t transpired yet over musings on the nature of... time? Maybe? It would be in line with Roberts’ go-to topics, but honestly the whole thing’s kind of vague so I couldn’t give you a solid answer. Shockwave gets awfully introspective for a guy who shouldn’t care, I know that much. The point is, he is inevitable and is super good at logic and science.

Also, Nova Prime and Galvatron are back, which is cool, I guess. Not sure where Galvatron had gotten to exactly after the events of “Chaos”, but he’s back now, so it doesn’t matter too terribly much. Shockwave serves them, which we’ll probably get an explanation for at some point.

God, you can practically taste the desperation to pin all these plot points together before the entire thing implodes on itself.

Heatwave Drabble #4: like a best friend

[Heatwave // Godless // Heatwave Drabbles] <- have to read first

Pairing: Taehyung x reader

Summary: You and Taehyung run into his infamous cheating ex, only for him to introduce you as his current girlfriend. As you play along with his narrative, you can’t help but feel insecure and jealous.

Genre: drabble, very fluffy, angst, f2l, bit of fake dating

Warnings: typical emotional constipation from these two, jealous!oc, heartbreakingly boyfriend!taehyung, indirect confession that they’re both unaware of lol

Word count: 5.8k

A/N: Oh look, more jealousy? Are we even surprised at this point?? Requested by my little muffin @taexxxiiaa. Sorry to all the Heatwave fans for this constant torture of unresolved feelings. 

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Taehyung has a habit of stuffing his face with too much food and consequently eating in pout. As he is doing right now. You watch him merrily wolf down another soy sauce-dipped slice of raw salmon and stack the miniature plate with the rest of his conquests. It’s his sixth plate.

When he’d first shown you the email he received for ‘all you can eat' sushi, your response was a firm “No.” You’re not even a fan of seafood in general, let alone raw fish. But Taehyung was persistent, insisting on what a bargain it is and how it’s sushi season right now. Sushi season, what bullshit. Another “No.” Yet when Taehyung has his eyes set on something, especially when it comes to food, there’s little that can stop him. He knows how to use his assets - batting is lashes, huffing like a baby, nuzzling into your neck - until you finally let out a defeated sigh.

So here you are, plotting how best to sneak in some wasabi into his food. This wimp has a full on breakdown at the slightest taste of spice, you can just envision his face when the wasabi burns up his nostrils and through to his ears.

That will teach him not to drag you out to sushi again.

“Why aren’t you eating your udon?” Taehyung’s eyes are wide and innocent, unsuspecting of your mischievou scheme. “Too hot?”

“Yeah, don’t want to burn my tongue.” You stir your steaming noodles, smiling to yourself.

The two of you had managed to secure a four-person booth due to his non-stop nagging to come early to avoid the queue. The restaurant is now bustling with customers and stressed waiters, the smell of Japanese food infused in the warm air. You’re both sat on one couch, while sat across you is another couple who are just finishing with their lunch. This arrangement is due to the busy demand of the restaurant, squeezing in however many impatient hungry people as they can. Though you didn’t have a problem with sharing a booth with strangers at first, Taehyung’s ravenous gorging of sushi after sushi has made you particularly self conscious.

As soon as the couple leave after paying their bill, you turn to hiss at Taehyung. “Why are you eating like that?”

“Like what?” His words are barely audible with his mouth full. “Are you gonna eat your udon or not? I can help you out if you can’t finish the whole thing.”

Ah, there it is, his infamous line - I can help you out if you can’t finish the whole thing.

Honestly, his appetite is abominable.

“Order your own udon!” You begin eating your noodles to prove that you are hungry, and you will finish the whole thing.

Taehyung tucks his hair behind his ear (you’ve recently noticed that his ears are abnormally big, which you guess explains the massive dick). Just a few days ago, you had managed to convince him to get a perm. The main selling point was: ‘all the bitches will go crazy for it, trust me’. Bitches being you.  And indeed, all the bitches are crazy for it. In the timespan at which you’ve been in this restaurant alone, you’ve caught almost every single girl checking him out, eyes flickering too often towards your booth for it to be coincidental.

When their eyes fell onto you, you would smile at them politely, yet to your surprise, they’d wear a sour expression and ignore your courtesy. You soon realised that they think you’re Taehyung’s girlfriend. Girlfriend! The thought had made you shudder and scoot further away from him.

“Nah, I need to save room for the sushi, baby.” He pats his stomach that remains annoyingly flat despite his feasting. “I need to pee, I’ll be right back. Can you order some more California Rolls and the Dragon Roll please? Oh, actually, and one more Soft Shell Crab Roll and a Tempura Shrimp as well please?”

You glare hard at his back as he scuttles out the booth and hurries to the toilet. Stupid dork. It’s only noon and he has already eaten a whole day’s worth of food. He’s going to end up vomiting his guts out if he keeps at this rate.

Still, you wave the waiter over and place his order for him. The waiter’s kind of cute, he’s got that soft wholesome look, the kind of boy you bring home to your parents. You wonder why he’s avoiding your eye and not slipping you his number. You hope it’s not because he thinks you’re with Taehyung.

A new pair of customers are being ushered to your booth across from you to replace the departed couple; it’s two pleasant looking girls this time, chatting away in blithe. This time, they reciprocate your smile with nods of their own.

Taehyung returns from the bathroom shortly, yet as he approaches your booth, he halts in his step so abruptly that you spin to face him.

“Ryujin?” The shock in his voice is unmistakable. His eyes are locked on one of the girls that’s just arrived opposite you. Static.

“Taehyung?” She gasps, returning the same surprise, pupils widening.

Ryujin? Taehyung’s never mentioned a Ryujin to you before? Who is she?

Taehyung’s face is stoic, completely stripped of its normal cheeriness. Lips pressed in a thin line, jaw screwed firmly shut. Shit… You turn to assess the girl, digging through your memory for a Ryujin, yet failing. Who the hell is she to have Taehyung react in such a way? If she were just a friend, he’d be rushing over to greet her. If she were someone he slept with, he’d subtly acknowledge her but make no big deal out of it.

Instead, he’s clenching his fists, feet planted an arm’s length away from your table.

You clear your throat, snapping him out of his trance. “You know each other?”

Finally, he glances over at you for the first time in what feels like ages. And right away, you see the disorientation in his eyes. Taehyung slowly makes his way back into the booth, sliding in beside you until your legs touch.

“Yeah, she’s my ex girlfriend.”

Oh.

Oh.

That cheating bitch.

If it weren’t for the firm hand placed quickly on your thigh as if he’d known you’d react in such manner, you would have leapt up and started screaming at her. The anger is rushing to your head all at once. You’re struggling not to chuck the stack of plates at her face.

So this is the girl who had broken Taehyung’s heart. This is the girl who gave Taehyung trust issues. But also, this is the girl who lead to you and Taehyung meeting. In every way you look at it, she is the reason why you’re in each other’s lives in the first place. So you guess you owe her a thank you after you throw a drink at her.

Taehyung doesn’t speak much about her, or at all. It’s been years since their relationship anyway, and since all his ties to her have been cut, it makes perfect sense that he’s forgotten about her. Even at the beginning, he was adamant about not thinking about her, he said it had hurt too much to even say her name. And so you were always careful about not bringing the topic up in conversation; it was none of your business anyway, it wasn’t relevant to his life anymore. There were occasional jokes here and there, but only ever made by him, and even still, you could sense the underlying hurt.

“Taehyung, it’s been so long…” Her attention was utterly transfixed on Taehyung. You might as well have been a cardboard cutout for all that matters, she wouldn’t have noticed anyway. But it must be bewildering to run into your ex who you cheated on like this. Anyone would be thrown off.

What are the chances that, not only did you come to the same all-you-can-eat-sushi place, but have also been sat on the same booth? Just your luck.

Your eyes wander back to Taehyung, fearing for his current state of mind. Your roommate is an emotional guy, as much as he likes to mask it in ridiculous humour. It would not surprise you if he just stands up and leave right now, even with his food on its way. Yet his features are calm, unbothered, his initial surprise melting away to neutrality.

“Hm… Yeah.” He doesn’t ask how she fares as she’d expected, you can see the disappointed drop in her face at his apathetic souciance. Then he turns to you. “Did you order the stuff?”

Unsure of how to interpret his sudden maturity, you just nod slowly. Quiet Taehyung is scary…

Disregarding her friend’s apparent discomfort, Ryujin presses on. “It must have been, what, more than two years now? How are you?”

Why can’t this bitch take a hint? Just shut the fuck up and order your fucking sushi. Leave him alone.

But Taehyung remains unmoved. While you are the one quietly fuming in the corner. Sensing your aggravation, he brushes his thumb on your thigh soothingly. When you lock eyes again, you’re stunned to find him completely at ease, the corner of his mouth even perking up to reassure you that he’s fine.

“I’m doing well actually.” Ryujin frowns again at his short answer. You think she’s going to give up now, but then she continues.

“You look good.” You tense. Oh don’t she dare... “I’m not doing too bad myself, I-”

Just then, the waiter cuts off the monologue she was headed towards as he brings over the plates of food you’d ordered for Taehyung. His eyes immediately flash in excitement, resuming his usual childish manner as he peels his hand from your leg and snatches his chopsticks.

“Can I get anything for you two ladies?” The waiter asks Ryujin and her companion, whose face appears flushed from the awkwardness of this situation. Ryujin, evidently annoyed by the interruption, proceeds to order.

While her attention is diverted, you quickly take this opportunity to mouth to Taehyung, “you okay?”

Striking you with an honest smile as he swallows his sushi, he nods. “Yeah, don’t worry, completely fine. Eat your udon, or it’ll get cold.” His voice is hushed, and you don’t know why you get startled when he leans closer to whisper to you.

Not entirely convinced, it’s your turn to pat his leg, almost subconsciously, as if to make sure that this really is Taehyung, your Taehyung. How is he this calm right now? Well, he’s always been a silent sulker when he’s mad, but… He doesn’t even seem one bit troubled by the sudden appearance of his ex. Not even that eyebrow twitch he gets when he’s annoyed. And in the meantime, you’re silently plotting how to magically get wasabi in this bitch’s eye.

When the waiter leaves, Ryujin turns back to Taehyung once again, scanning his ethereal features and beautifully curled long hair. No doubt regretting her shitty decision of infidelity when they were together. Finally, her eyes flicker over to you, for the first time since Taehyung’s arrival. “So who’s thi-”

“Y/N, my girlfriend.”

You choke so hard on the fat noodle you are slurping that some of the savoury broth goes up your nose. Wheezing and spluttering for air like a cat choking on a hairball, you feel all your blood rush to your reddening face, both from the lack of air and the embarrassment. Taehyung’s careless whacks between your shoulder blades isn’t helping at all. Only after downing the whole cup of green tea does your coughing finally subside.

“You okay, babe?” Taehyung realises his smacks on your back are too harsh to be boyfriend-like, so he eases it into gentle rubs. But the concern in his large brown irises are genuine nonetheless.

You glare at him. Long, hard. Before nodding and flashing him a sickly-sweet smile. Oh boy, is he going to get kicked in the ass later for putting you up to this. He seems to see the dangerous flare of your nostrils, a warning sign that he has really, most fucking definitely, made the wrong move. He gulps and smiles back nervously.

Girlfriend? Girlfriend?!

What the fuck is he playing at right now? Why did he have to lie to her like that? Is he trying to make her jealous? Or just act like he’s moved on just fine without her? You clamp your mouth shut to prevent any angry words from tumbling out. There’s nothing to do but to play along right now - there’s an enemy to face.

“Oh right, girlfriend…” Ryujin says so softly that you almost feel bad for her before remembering that this is her own doing. “I guess that must be why you haven’t replied to my text asking you to meet up then… Right?”

At that, your entire body goes rigid.

She- Does that mean- Wh-

You look over at Taehyung, mouth hanging open in utter disbelief. Ryujin has been texting Taehyung. And he hasn’t mentioned a word about it to you. Although it really shouldn’t affect you so much, it feels like a stab of betrayal.

His lips are pursed again, as he gazes up at her reluctantly. “Yeah, that’s right.”

Then his arm circles around your back and pulls you into him, fingers gripping your waist in a display of possession. At the unforeseen momentum, and still in your state of shock, your frame falls feebly into his chest. Your heart leaps to your throat. You don’t understand why but… your cheeks feel hot.

His arm, around you. His hand, holding your side. His neck, pressed on your forehead.

You’re hyper aware of everywhere he is touching you. Why, all of a sudden?

“Oh okay, um, I really wish you all the best…” Ryujin mumbles, no longer looking at you and Taehyung anymore, not sounding one bit like she means what she’s saying. Her friend beside her has resorted to scrolling through her phone at this point, cringing from this awkward exchange.

“Thanks, Ryujin. I’m really happy - never been happier in my life, in fact.” The vibration of Taehyung’s Adam’s apple reverberates into you as he tugs you even closer, arm fastened around your middle. You struggle for room, bending your neck to peer up at him from your squished position.

He’s grinning radiantly at you, and at your wide-eyed confused expression, he can’t help but lean down to press his lush warm lips onto your forehead.

You blink.

Truly, you think your brain has stopped functioning. What is going on?

He’s definitely doing this to make Ryujin jealous. That is the only plausible explanation. It makes your chest clench in bitterness. Why does he still care what she thinks? This is completely unnecessary. Does he still care about her?

And why didn’t he tell you that she was texting him?

What has she been telling him?

All this doubt, this uncertainty, manifests into a suffocating lump in your throat. You have always been completely open and honest with each other about every aspect of your lives - family, friends, work, grades, relationships, sex. Not that he owes it to you to tell you everything, but you’d just thought that it was how things worked between you. What else is he hiding from you?

But at the same time, your focus can’t stray from the way he is holding you, and the confidence in his tone. How certain and sincere he sounded. And how he pecked you so casually in public, in front of everyone. Your stomach feels funny.

As you resume your eating, you stay quiet, thinking. On the other hand, Taehyung is quiet due to fact that he has no room to speak in between engulfing California Roll after California Roll. Happily humming under his breath as he chews. The waiter returns with a tray of food Ryujin and her friend had ordered. “Here you go, would you like some green tea?”

“Oo, can you fill mine up too please.” You hastily pass him your empty ceramic cup.

“Of course. Be careful, the tea is very ho-” Just as he warns you while he refills your cup, he over-tips the pot and sends scalding tea all over your hand.

“Ow!” Quickly drawing back your boiled hand out of instinct, you yelp out in pain. Fumbling over his sorry, I’m so so sorry’s, the waiter bows his deeply apologetically, scurrying to clean up the steaming spilled liquid in a panic.

“Mate, watch out!” Taehyung sits up immediately, scrambling to wipe your soaked hand with tissues. The glare he throws the waiter could cut through glass. “Are you okay?” The concern clouding his eyes when he faces you floods your veins with a security.

“Yeah… Don’t worry, it’s just a burn.” You watch him examine your hand intently as if it’s some ancient priceless artefact that could shatter from a poke; you’ve noticed lately that he tends to do this when you’re injured. With his fringe frizzed over his forehead, lips puckered in concentration as he caress over your pink tender skin, you are helpless and unmoving. Staring at him.

“Are you sure? It’s getting kind of red…” He refuses to let your hand go. Your fingers scorch under his touch and it’s not from the tea.

“Yeah, baby, I’m fine.” Taehyung’s head whips up instantly at the way you address him. Confused for a good second, before realising that it is to play along with the fake girlfriend narrative.

Right…

Reluctantly, he lets you pull your hand out of his clutch, and only when you pick up your chopsticks to prove to him that it’s only a minor injury does he resign in his coddling and return to his food. As you glance up, you notice Ryujin’s blazing glower at your direction. You quickly look away.

In the presence of his cheating ex-girlfriend, you two no longer feel at ease to banter away as normal. You aren’t even at the liberation to have a regular conversation without her listening in on everything. So the meal passes rather wordlessly.

However, the silence births a different kind of interaction between you and Taehyung. You can’t tell if it’s just for show, or due to his innate affectionate nature, but he suddenly feels the need to display his love for skinship. Under the table, his hand once again strays to the land of your thighs, gently stroking. When you shoot him a warning glare, lest he gets any vulgar ideas, you find that he possesses no lustful intent at all. Just pure fondness for you.

Something inside you softens. You’re starting to think that he isn’t acting out of spite against Ryujin, but rather simply enjoying your company as usual.

But you know what? Screw that bitch. Not once, to your knowledge, did she apologise to Taehyung when she’s had two years to own up to her mistakes. Not until now, of all times. She deserves to get riled up.

“Taehyung-ie, can I have a bite of your shrimp?” You smile at your pretend-boyfriend sweetly. He gives you a perplexed look that says: But I thought you hate shrimp? before he clocks on with your intention.

“Of course, baby.” And without fail, just like a scene straight from a drama, he picks up the tempura shrimp and feeds it to you, eyes crescent in mirth as you open up and take a mouthful like a hungry little child. You feel a crumb flake away onto your chin, yet before you can wipe it away, Taehyung reaches it first. Chuckling, he sweeps the small speck into your mouth. But not without the slightest, most fleeting, brush of his thumb against your tongue.

The action feels… intimate. Like weirdly intimate, even for you and Taehyung’s dynamic.

Why does your breath keep hitching?

Perhaps after a second too long, you conjure a giggle in response, attentive of Ryujin’s gawk in your periphery. “Thanks, love.” The syrup in your voice is sickly sweet. God, even you want to barf.

“You’re too adorable, honey buns.” Taehyung cups your face in one hand, fingers digging into your squishy cheeks as he shakes you. Your smile drops. Adorable? Honey buns? HoNEy bUnS? Kim Taehyung is so dead.

But before you could kick him in the shin under the table, he leans in and plants his lips on yours. Soft, supple.

Oh.

Just as you think it’s only meant to be a peck, he deepens the kiss, his plump pink mouth gliding over yours smoothly. Anyone who sees would know that you’re accustomed to such action with each other from the natural comfortable manner of your kiss. Anyone could tell that you’re used to each other’s lips.

You pull away abruptly when you become conscious of many’s attention on you. With your face so near his, all you can see is how his lips draw into a smirk.

It’s unusual for you two to kiss outside of a sexual context. Because why would you? Friends don’t kiss each other unless they’re: A) dating, or B) banging. And especially in the past few weeks, you’ve been progressively kissing each other less, even during sex. Almost as if you’ve both realised how intimate it is, and all the romantic connotations that come with it.

Yet here he is, kissing you so openly in public.

Yeah, it’s just for show for his ex. But it’s still…

You don’t know.

.

After Taehyung had finally eaten to his heart’s content, the two of you had gone to study in the library. Ryujin wore a sour face in the entire duration of the meal, and you would hear low grunts of irritation from her direction. You practically felt her venomous glare on the back of your head as you were leaving the restaurant. Acting has never been your strong suit, but even you’ll admit that the two of you are putting on an Oscar-worthy performance.

You’ve been quiet, you know. It’s because of that bitter taste in the back of your throat that you still can’t get rid of at the thought that Taehyung might still care about Ryujin. Why else would he lie to her and say that you’re his girlfriend if not to get a reaction out of her?

But more so, why does it bother you so much? You wish you don’t care this much for this stupid sushi-demolisher who doesn’t deserve your time and efforts. He’s probably thinking about his next meal again while you’re here lamenting over your weird feelings.

So you keep your mouth shut throughout your study session, brewing in your acrid thoughts.

Taehyung watches you nibble at the end of your pen. How is he supposed to focus on his coursework when you’ve got that pouty expression? And since when did you not take every chance you get to take the piss out of him? He wonders what’s going on in your head.

Seeing Ryujin had been a shock, a blast from the past. It hadn’t bothered him too much to be honest, he simply doesn’t care about her anymore. A few days ago, she had sent him a message out of the blue. Out of politeness, he’d responded but kept his replies brief; it was difficult to decipher her intention at first, but it soon revealed itself. Apparently, her and Jimin went on to date for a while - good on them, Taehyung truly could not give fewer shits anymore. But their relationship deteriorated due to their incompatibility, which was predictable knowing them both. It was when she started showing interest in Taehyung, apologising and kissing his ass about how good he was to her that he decided to stop answering.

The thought of getting back with her gave him shivers.

Your reaction to Ryujin back there wasn’t unexpected at all, of course you weren’t going to react mildly to his ex. Taehyung is lucky you didn’t ‘accidentally’ spill soy sauce onto her, or start yelling at her about faithfulness and morality. Your wrath towards her actually kind of warms his heart…

You aren’t one to talk about your feelings openly, but your actions definitely speak volumes about how much you care about him.

Taehyung smiles to himself.

There is so much loyalty between the two of you, complete trust and devotion. At the end of the day, no matter what goes on between you when you’re horny fuckers, you’re best friends above all else. Fighters for each other.

Your journey back home was also rather mute, consisting of him prodding you with jokes and teases, and you putting on a half-hearted smile. Maybe you’re annoyed at him for putting you on the spot and leaving you with no choice but to cooperate as his pretend girlfriend. All this relationship-y commitment-y crap repels the shit out of you. Basically the bane of your existence.

He probably shouldn’t have kissed and coddled you that much in front of Ryujin. You detest PDA like it’s some scandalous taboo, despite being the freakiest girl he knows in the sheets. But hey, you guys had to make it convincing and believable...

Yup, the more Taehyung thinks about it, the more he’s sure you’re annoyed (or even scared off) about the fake dating thing.

“You’re quiet for someone who just met her supposed archnemesis. I thought you’d be going on and on about what a bitch she is.” He glances at your sullen side profile for the hundredth time during your commute home.

“I don’t know, not it a great mood I guess? Probably just tired.” You mumble, searching for your keys in your coat pocket. The weather is getting cold these days; Taehyung knows your fingers are very prone to freezing, especially with your refusal of wearing gloves because ‘they’re ugly’ nor would you keep your hands in your pockets because ‘it’s a safety hazard incase you trip over’.

He gets a strangely overwhelming urge to hold your hands every time he sees you wiggling your fingers to warm them up. Hmm.

Wordlessly, you enter the house with him trailing behind you. He watches your moody steps from behind as you remove your shoes and head inside. Why can’t you just tell him what you’re thinking?

With a great sigh, Taehyung slumps onto the couch, focus still on you hanging your coat on the rack and tossing your keys into the holder on the shelf. “Hey.”

You turn, regarding his wide manspread with piqued interest. “What?”

“Come here, baby, sit on my lap.” He pats the top of his thighs in beckoning. Sometimes it’s like trying to get a stray cat to come to him.

Your eyes widen at his request. But very reluctantly, you stroll towards him until you’re standing between his extended legs. “Why are you calling me baby, we’re not pretending to be dating anymore.”

Taehyung stiffens as he senses the acrimony in your tone. So this is about the girlfriend thing? It’s a risky move but he sits up and pulls you in by the back of your thighs until you have no choice but to succumb to falling onto his hips. Lips still in a tight line, your limbs come around him to hold yourself upright. In order to prevent you from escaping, Taehyung encloses his arms around your waist, trapping you in his embrace. He tries not to think about how your crotch is directly on his right now.

“Why you sad?” He looks up at you, your eyes unreadable as always. Heat from your exhale fans his forehead.

“I don’t know. Nan molla.” You shrug and do that face scrunch thing you do whenever you’re unsure that he loves. It makes you look so cute.

“Hey…” Taehyung nudges your cheek with his nose in an attempt to get you to look at him. You have a habit of avoiding eye contact, and he knows it’s stems from the intimacy issue. “What’s up, honey buns?”

“Honey buns again? Seriously?” You jerk away from him like he insulted your mother or something.

“Well, since I can’t call you baby, honey buns it is.” His chest vibrates with his deep rumbling laughter, pleased with himself to see the slightest hint of a smile finally beginning to appear on you.

“Oh my god, Taehyung. Fine, just stick with baby, I swear…” You thump him on the back, yet your stone cold exterior now being invaded by a spark of humour.

“Good. Now tell me what’s wrong, baby.”

You’re quiet for a good few seconds, contemplating. Your legs around his torso tense, you bite your lip hesitantly. Come on, just talk to me, he wishes.

“Do you still… care about her?” Voice so soft that even he struggles to hear you this close.

“What? Ryujin?” Oh, so this is about her. Taehyung knew you hated her, but never thought that you would feel… insecure? Jealous, even? “Of course not. I don’t give a single fuck about her.” At his answer, you let out the breath you’ve been holding. A breath of relief? “But you clearly seem to care too much about her.”

“I- I do not!” In a tone of disbelief, you scorn. “I just- She’s not the one I care about.”

Fuck, you’re being too cute right now.

Taehyung pecks at your chin, unable to contain his affection anymore. You continue, “Plus, why didn’t you tell me she was talking to you again? Friends tell each other this sort of thing. I always tell you everything…”

The worry on your face is truly so endearing, he feels his chest constrict.

“I didn’t mention it because that’s how little I care. She is honestly so insignificant to me right now, I could not even be bothered to waste my breath bringing it up. Yes, she meant a lot to me for a period of my life. But. That was a long time ago. I’ve moved on, no thanks to you, remember?” Your eyes gradually dare loiter up his face. “You silly sausage.”

“But-” You’re pouting again. You need to stop pouting or he won’t be able to control himself, dammit. “Why did you lie and say I’m your girlfriend then, if you weren’t doing it to make her jealous.”

Taehyung blinks. Well… Um, about that... He didn’t want to have to explain it to you but...

“It just slipped out.”

Your turn to blink vacantly. Taehyung feels blood tinting his cheeks under your gaze. Even he doesn’t know why he said it back then. It just kind of… rolled off his tongue. Should he be worried? Yeah, he should definitely be worried.

When you still fail to say anything, he hurriedly asks, “Are you mad?”

“N-No. Why would I be mad?” The way your arm slides down his neck to brush pass his chest leaves his skin tingling. He pulls your legs closer around him, hand unintentionally trailing to your rear.

“I don’t know, you just hate that kind of lovey-dovey stuff. Just figured that you’d be annoyed that I forced you to act like my girlfriend.”

“Well, I was a bit annoyed… It’s not just me, you hate that kind of lovey-dovey stuff too!” Well, not exactly accurate, but Taehyung decides not to correct you. “But did you see her face?” Your tone begins to lighten. Remembering the acerbity tainting Ryujin’s features brings you amusement.

“She looked like she was going to murder someone.” You both laugh.

“She was thirsting over you like a hound, Jesus Christ. It’s because of your perm, trust me.” Grinning, you twirl his curly fringe around your fingers. You seem to do that quite often since he got the new hairstyle.

“Wow, you really like my perm that much?” He fishes, failing to control his forming smirk. You like to give him shit about his ego, yet no one strokes it more than you do.

“No comment.” You can’t contain your radiant smile either. Taehyung makes a mental note to keep the perm.

Seeing your mood lifted makes Taehyung feel much better, safer. His arms run up your back, and he feels you shudder under his touch. You fit into his embrace so well; it’s difficult to not hug you close to him every chance he gets nowadays. There’s a dull ache in the back of his neck from craning up to look at you for too long, but he doesn’t mind it. Your fingers fall from his hair, tracing his jaw frivolously, mindlessly. It leaves an unwarranted tremble within him.

“Look, there’s absolutely nothing for you to mull about in that overthinking head of yours. I don’t even remember Ryujin’s last name if I’m being honest with you. She lost me the moment she broke my heart, and I’ll never even remotely consider getting back with her. Ever. I promise.

“So don’t act all jealous and sulky just ‘cause you misunderstood. You’re my best girl. You’ll always be my best, favourite and only girl, understand? I, Kim Taehyung, belong to you, Y/N Y/L/N. Period.” The smile of satisfaction tells him everything. You’re not as hard to please as you appear to be. “I’m yours, happy?”

“Happy.” Fuck, Taehyung’s heart is going to explode from the joyous beam growing at your lips.

“Good, because she means nothing to me at all. But you, Ms. Needy-But-I-Won’t-Admit-It? You mean everything to me. Everything.” He bounces you on his lap for emphasis, eliciting another buoyant giggle from you.

Then you do something that you don’t normally do.

You kiss him - passionately and ardently. Fingers surfing the waves of his hair, you readjust your straddling position on top of him to minimise the distance. Taehyung feels all reason in his head incrementally ebbing away. You shouldn’t be kissing, you really shouldn’t. It’s not normal to make out with your best friend. But fuck the rules. Taehyung doesn’t want to stop kissing you right now, his silly adorable honey buns.

“Just admit it. You love me.” He taunts between breaths. You freeze at Taehyung’s words. Completely freeze on his lap, hand dangling from his face, as if you’ve been shot. “Like a best friend.” You deflate, evident relief at the joke.

Taehyung has to restrain from laughing out loud. God, you’re such an easy target. The second anything one step further from platonism is suggested, you act like you’re going to pack your bags and run for the hills. But here you are, kissing him and acting all possessive. He enjoys the irony.

“Yeah I love you. Like a best friend.” You flick the tip of his nose in reprimand for his teasing.

“Good because I love you too. Like a best friend.” He holds you tight against him, proceeding to blow raspberries in your neck.

Maybe even more, he wonders.

.

27/11/19

© Copyright 2019

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She-Ra Review (Better late than never)

Okay, I just watched the first episode of the original She-Ra and... PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! I think we evolved quite from that. Even though Bow used to have more male empowerment by showing off even more skin, lol.

But here it is. Review of the new She-Ra:

So, for me the show overall used to be quite in need of getting used to. I guess because the stakes are rather low and I preferred more adult-orientated shows. Falling from a high point and not getting hurt or getting hit by a laserbeam and just stumbling backwards wasn't doing it for me.

But after giving AtLA a chance, I was able to go back to more child-like shows and to just roll with it. The plot never really interested me. We need to do this or that in order to accomplish this- fine by me. Just do what you do.

I never cared much about the kingdoms or the people living there. It was just decoration. Some interesting character designs in the background. No culture. When the evil-doers took the decoration away, I didn't care. I was missing some "war leaves scars, in people and the landscapes". Sometimes wounds can't be healed. Sometimes we can't return things the way they were. Make the loss of something count so you see its worth.

There was also never a moment where I wanted to know more about the lore or the past. How it all functions. What carried the series were the characters. But a lot of them are more like a walking gimmick and aside from that nothing.

I think Bow is one of the best characters. He has some nice, positive masculinity going, he is a mediator, he tries to find solutions and tries to keep the team together. When he later just snaps and says "I can't be the happy one all the time!", I felt that. He has a right to be mad at someone too (Glimmer) and he doesn't have to instantly forgive. Lol, I had people say you are immature if you don't forgive and stuff. And dozens of characters who constantly have to be the bigger person, no, more like they have to be Jesus in order to keep the rest happy and zero damage is shown. Their psyche doesn't matter.

So. Big <3 for Bow and his only weakness: A covered belly! x'D

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Scorpia is probably the heart and soul of the series. And after seeing how her original was... that's fucking evolution times ten! xD She is just so genuinely likable and clueless while also being insecure. When she wears the princess-prom dress for the first time and blushes... what a cutie! I was going AWWW! And when she finally realizes that Catra is no friend material and Catra realizes who she chased away with her behavior: That was true loss! I felt that. I didn't do wrong to Scorpia, but I felt the pain anyway. So, like Bow, Scorpia didn't stay the punching bag forever and reacted. I like that!

10 out of 10 scorpions for Scorpia!!

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Entrapta has a really cool design, especially with her moving hair. All the budget to the hair! For some reason I also like her name a lot! It's rather extraordinary, heh! Unlike "Glimmer" or "Bow" which are rather on the nose. Normally I dislike the "limitless young genius" trope, but Entrapta at least had some limitations (mostly when they were plot-relevant, though) and she is a princess after all, so a special affinity to something (and if it is machines) beyond a normal person's grasp is believable. Unlike others... (Raph from TFP. "Hacking into the FBI? No problem!" H-How?!) And while she is in regards to anything else rather airheaded (uhm, robots kill people. Well, not on screen, but... I'm sure they killed someone), she at least realizes that later and it got her a connection to Hordak which no usual good guy could have done.

An army of robots for Entrapta!

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Hordak the missed opportunity. Not enough screentime at all. They gave this cliché evil guy a soul and they did next to nothing with it. All his good scenes are with Entrapta and there are only a few. Later he sheds TEARS when he realizes she never betrayed him! Why can't we get more scenes like that? Him being a failed clone is a good backstory and a scene with the creation of Imp would have complimented that a lot. Imagine the half-dead baby lying there and it's about to be flushed away, but Hordak hesitates. He picks Imp up, looking at him. Discarding him because he is not perfect? Because he will never be what he was supposed to? But who says that he can't accomplish something? Hordak sees himself in the baby and shows fate the metaphorical middle finger. He presses the baby tightly against his chest and murmurs: "We will show them...", accepting the baby and ultimately himself...

In the last season we get Wrong Hordak and while having someone around who is completely pure and naive to a world beyond the hivemind (just like a person escaping a cult) is important to show so we get the clones's perspective, we kinda lose on the real Hordak there. All he does is stare at that one crystal sometimes... until the end when he does the "throw the emperor in the pit Darth Vader style!" thing. Lame. He should have been with the good guys sooner and shown some recovery there.

A baby bottle for Hordak so he can feed his future robot children with Entrapta.

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Glimmer. For some reason I always saw her as a side character who somehow got cast as a main character. She just constantly slipped out of my mind. Oh yeah, she has mother issues and a whole family and kingdom, but... she just seems so flat! You could put Adora in her position and nothing of value would have been lost. Still the main hero who fights evil. Maybe without fancy glitter magic. When she becomes queen and later almost a tyrant, that's when she gets more interesting, but still... I was just "where is Adora?" whenever she hogged the screentime. Not interested in this character in the slightest. No glitter for Glimmer.

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Adora. Does the main character things. Even doesn’t hesitate sacrificing herself for the greater good. Is the typical main character. Doesn’t think things through, runs towards the enemy, is immature, gobbles down food. Main character. I don’t like this kind of main character, but I don’t hate her either. Neutrality for Adora.

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Catra got too much screentime. Yeah. We get it. She has issues. She makes bad decisions. Very bad. She regrets it. Is hurt. But can't be the bigger cat. When she later visits Glimmer constantly in her prison, I was just groaning. Give someone else the screentime! We get it! We get Catra's problems! Sometimes less is more!

I don't know how people viewed her coming together with Adora in the end, but I was glad they were allowed to kiss and say I love you and so on. Not that I shipped it, but hey, be happy. They were all over each other throughout the series. Just let them be happy. Yeah, Catra did horrible things (but what I said about lasting damage in this series. It ain't there.), but if Catra was Starscream, I wouldn't object either and I have to stay fair here. If Starscream is a war criminal and I still simp for him, then I have to give other villains the same treatment without finger pointing and screaming "Abusive! Toxic!". Except I want it to be, but that is another story to tell...

Aside from that, Catra showed regrets and emotional pain. Starscream is entirely different there. I love him the way he is, but... sometimes it's hard to stay on his side. But that's the writers's fault. I also like about Catra that she just laughs into villains's faces. I didn't expect that character to be able to carry a whole army on her shoulders and lead them. With nothing but cat powers, lol. That thing with electrocuting Entrapta and pushing the "planet gets blown apart" button... juuuuust stop. It ain't worth it. That's some serious own grave digging there.

A cat for Catra.

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The lesser princesses. Why are the elements so weirdly spread? We got magic, plants, water, ice, lightning bolts. And some others who don't have crystals. But the main elements are really weird decisions. From the traditional elements we got only water and it hogs two crystals! Then we got the element of magic which is okay in the context of this world. Then plants and red electricity which is also okay on a greater Pokémon-esque scale. It feels like something is missing there. Especially when they talk about their weaknesses "Fire, fire, fire..." Where is the fire princess? The earth princess? These are two main elements and if you don't want to go the traditional route then make all elements something out of the ordinary. Not water AND ice if you only have five crystals around.

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Frosta could have been entirely cut. She says nothing of worth and adds nothing of worth. Her gimmick is "Toph" but with heart and soul cut out. When she was introduced I expected her to be the most mature, raised from a young age to act more adult than she actually is, because she needed to grow up fast in these times. Her country is the largest and with great power comes great responsibility. We could have gotten quite political here, how complicated it can be. The hard decisions you have to make and the compromises you have to take. All for the sake of keeping your people safe. Her character arc could have been about that and about finding her childish side again which was denied from her. There. Also her big country is meaningless aside from her introduction episode. Since she always fights with the princesses alone with ZERO bodyguards and all... Where is the power of that country??

A snow-less winter for Frosta.

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Mermista's gimmick is "snarky". When she shows new parts of her personality like reading novels, it's a one-episode thing. It takes quite a while for her to get actually likable. Not that I disliked her, she just had no presence. When she later leads a mission we get to see more of her, but those are the moments where I feel like we are missing a couple of episodes that should be dedicated to the other princesses alone or with them as the focus. They are just shoved into the background so much by Adora, Bow and Glimmer, that shouldn't be. They are in the opening after all as if they are part of a group that is always together.

Sea Hawk is constantly dancing on the thin line between okay and annoying. Though I like that it is a fabulous guy having a relationship with a girl and not the "boring guy". But the men of She-Ra are mostly beyond the usual men tropes of angry, stoic, boring, stupid dude. So it doesn't even stand out as much as it should, lol. Like I hate this trope that the most beautiful girl/sexy woman of a show comes together with "the average Joe" or "comedic relief who is also often times small in stature". I guess... I know why that is...  Anyway, the main girl/more chaste woman gets together with the main hero. Mr McBoredom but strong! While the fabulous guy... is either evil, has a bad character, is not traditionally manly, is just shallow. No pretty men for the girls. Well. Not anymore!

A dolphin for Sea-Ra and what she could have been if she had more screentime.

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Perfuma is the hippie princess and I guess my favorite from the lesser princesses (though, there is no real competition.). The way she handles things are in line with her beliefs and sometimes she says some actual intelligent remarks, but isn't listened to because she isn't the brash one, but the harmonious one. Which is sad. Everybody rather calm down and meditate instead of getting in each other's faces. That could work wonders sometimes. So, she actually is the first to see that Scorpia doesn't want to attack them when she left Catra while the others just keep attacking. Her shtick really is taking into consideration when she is written in a situation. However, sometimes it is a bit too much. Power of friendship isn't going to break the mind-control chip and they all saw time and time again that IF the controlled person can get a grasp on themselves again, it's only for mere seconds. So cut the crap, it's not against your beliefs when you stop thoughts-and-prayers-ing for something that won't change without actually doing something against it.  Fun fact: Because she was so insisting of poweroffriendshipping Scorpia out of control, I was almost expecting a digivolut- uhm, a transformation there, lol! Especially because they mentioned before, she could be one of the strongest princesses. Well, of course she wouldn't become more forceful. Except she might get the power to swipe negative thoughts away and disperse fighting will. Now... that didn't happen, but still... (Also a nice episode with her having to admit she doesn’t get cacti. There is actually some character development here!)

A beautiful flower for Perfuma!

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Spinnerella and Netossa. “The biracial gay couple” hanging around in the background until they became characters in the later seasons. Finally! I found the “biracial gay couple” trope so often in shows, it’s like they want to stuff as much diversity as they can into two characters and then keep everything else conservative. Thankfully She-Ra shows a lot of diversity everywhere.

A net carried by wind for Spinnerella and Netossa.

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Swift Wind. Back to the sketch block. Nothing of worth was done or said. He is supposed to have this super important magical connection to She-Ra, but she hardly uses him. He is just another fighter... somewhere else. If he is there. And he stands out like a sore thumb as the only talking animal. Maybe you could make it a gimmick for a toyline that every princess can summon a pet to ride. That would have been cool. Or if he stayed mute and acted just like a horse. Then you could have had the cuteness factor. And the animal behavior factor which is also cute... and funny. Think of Pegasus from Disney's Hercules. That's a good horse companion! But Swift Wind? Annoying. Unimportant. Waste of time.

No unicorn for Swift Wind.

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Shadow Weaver. Didn't like her. Wanted power, got what she wanted, but too much. Ugly now. Her powers are rather weak. I didn't even pay attention to the episode where she haunts Adora. As if that's gonna do something in the long run. Then Catra stole her job. Rightfully so. She got imprisoned, then fled, then became an ally. When she later sacrificed herself and said to Catra that she is proud of her, well, did she say it so Catra would do what she wanted or did taking off the mask symbolize that she finally said the truth? We might never know and we might never care.

No dark magic for Shadow Weaver.

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Emperor I have two many eyes. (Badumm-Tss!) "I want to destroy the universe!" What a lame motivation. What can I even say to that? Of course only mind-controlled people would follow this goal and I remember a series where someone carried their own clone and said "It's sad when oneself is the only one you can rely on/trust". Yeah.

Why did Hordak even build an empire when everything was supposed to be destroyed? Why open a portal to the asshole who didn't want you in the first place? So many toxic parental figures in this series. And the children won't stop wanting their approval. When Prime shows Glimmer the last pieces of destroyed worlds or gives her food that is made of things that could only be found in these worlds, one gets a glimpse of the horror he represents. He could be the most horrible gourmet of all time "I only eat things made out of extinct lifeforms". Petty. But oh so scary. When you are so powerful that you can destroy worlds, what do you care about the ants living on them? But nah, he has some pseudo-religious thing going, assimilating people into his hivemind like the borg in Star Trek do. Actually, just assimilating people and growing his army and enriching the collected wisdom of galaxies could be a motivation, too. Then the good guys could make a stand for individualism. But eh, too complicated.

No green juice for Horde Prime.

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Prepare for Trouble and make it Double. Double Trouble. I learned something about the incompatibility of neutral pronouns and my native language. Their gimmick is "actor" and it's pretty over the top, it gets annoying fast. Not even the gayest nurse I'm working with talks like that and they would make any gaydar explode in a second. Maybe they could have gone a little deeper with that and give them some meta jokes about how scenes are gonna unfold and give us some surprises there. I don't like the opportunist crap they pull off, why even bother working together with Catra in the first place? Always join the winning team? What a Knock Out. Get out of here, before I make you swallow your own tail! Yes, I’m still salty about that. Fuck you, Predacons Rising! Fuck you!

A mirror for DT because after all they still have a sexy body.