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headspacedad · 11 months

Note

You seem to know a lot about bunny behavior. My friend's bunny as a kid was allowed to roam her living room sometimes. It would specifically go up to people who were laying down, turn its back on them, and then do this very hard kick/launch thing off the top of their head. It seemed to do it more to some people than others qnd absolutely never to her little sister. We just assumed it was being mean, is there some sort of bunny code it was trying to communicate? It also liked biting people's earlobes and staring into the birdcage for hours so it wasn't exactly the most normal animal.

Thanks for the faith! I mostly just know about rabbits via living with some very opinionated ones over the years. Sounds like your friend had a very opinionated one as well and it was absolutely saying something with its flying launches.

What it was saying is a little harder to parse without knowing the details but I'll give it a shot.

There are two potential reasons I could see a rabbit doing that. One - them's fighting words or two - for play. It really comes down to context, which you have more of than me so I'll leave you to be the judge of which it might have been.

Rabbits are pretty social little critters. They'll pick up social interactions from their surroundings, especially if they're the only bunny around. Jumping around and at each other is a rabbit form of play (and courtship)

the rabbits in the above gif are courting. It could be that her rabbit was playing with the people they were launching off of (or courting them). I'm not sure how much rabbits divide up human bodies into different entities in their minds but a human head is about the same size as a rabbit, makes all the noises and is, at least in my case, often kissing and nuzzling them. They could have seen people's heads as something rabbitish enough to want to try to engage in play with. Excited rabbits love to dart, jump, leap and otherwise be energetic and interactive if they like the people around them and feel safe in the environment. Her rabbit could have been trying to find a middle ground between what passes for a rabbit's playtime and whatever kind of weird stuff humans' would count as play time.

Or the rabbit could have been feeling territorial and been kicking to establish their dominance. Put that ugly weird shaped rabbit on notice that it wasn't the boss of the place. Not necessarily mean, just feeling the need to be bossy.

Off the top of my head? Since the people were laying down and the rabbit was seeking them out and then launching off of them, it sounds more like playing. But it really comes down to context and how the rabbit was acting before and after the launch as well as whether it saw the human rocket pad as threatening or not.

As for nibbling the earlobes - sometimes bunnies forget that humans don't have fur and their grooming gets a bit too aggressive. Sometimes they see something that just needs biting. Sometimes they nip to tell someone to back off, they've had enough attention for now. Sam's got a bad habit of nipping my butt if I'm sitting in what he thinks is the way of his traffic pattern. Also I think he likes the way it makes me jump.

Considering I also sit in front of a computer screen and stare at it for hours I can't really judge what a bunny does in their downtime with a birdcage but I will add that a lot of rabbits sleep with their eyes open, so maybe it was napping. Maybe it was watching its daily soap opera. The mind of a bun can been pretty unfathomable sometimes.

Thanks for sending me this ask! I love talking about bunnies and their strange behavior. It's nice to get a question I can dig down into and have fun with. You've made me very happy and enriched my environment so thank you! I hope your day/night is as awesome as you are!

#rabbit #bunblr #bunny #language of lagamorphs #rabbitube #answering asks #bunny behavior #rabbits #bunnies #okay to reblog

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marvellous1917 · 7 months

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Hellooo lovely people!!

1.1k celebration! (N)SFW alphabet x

Hope y’all are having a good week! I, although I have no idea how, have accumulated 1.1 k followers!

Now because of this amazing fact, I have decided to do a little celebration thing.

I will be posting an (N)SFW alphabet where you guys can send in asks for specific letters, and I will write a little piece about it!

Now I assume that most of the ask will be about the Icarus Bucky but y’all can also request for some other characters including: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Sam Wilson, Clint Barton or my beloved Frank Castle, mwah 😘

A is aftercare OR affection (How affectionate is he? how does he show it?

B is body part (his fave of his partner?himself) OR bestfriend (how is he as a best friend)

C is cum (anything to do with cum) OR cuddles (does he like cuddles?)

D is dirty secret OR domestic (would he settle down?)

E is experience (is he good?) OR ending (how would a breakup be?)

F is favorite position OR fiancee (how does he feel about commitment)

G is goofy (how does he act during sex?) OR gentle (is he gentle?)

H is hair (how does he groom himself?) OR hugs (does he like hugs?)

I is intimacy (how is he intimate?) OR i love you (how long does it take for him to say it)

J is jack off (how often does he do it?) OR jealousy (is he jealous?)

K is kink (one or more of his kinks) OR kisses (what is kissing him like?)

L is location (where he likes to do it) OR little ones (is he good with kids?)

M is motivation (what gets him going) OR mornings (what your mornings with him look like)

N is no (his turn offs/things he won't do) OR nights (what your nights with him look like)

O is oral (his preference, skill, etc) OR open (how long it took him to open up)

P is pace (fast or slow, sensual or rough) OR patience (is he patient?)

Q is quickies (does he like them? is so, where?) OR quizzes (can he remember stuff about you?)

R is risk (does he like to be risky during sex?) OR remember (his favorite parts of your relationship)

S is stamina OR security (is he protective?)

T is toys (does he have some? does he use them?) OR try (does he put effort in the relationship?)

U is unfair (does he tease a lot?) OR ugly (a bad habit he has)

V is volume (does he make noise during sex?) OR vanity (does he care about his looks?)

W is wild card (a random headcanon about him) OR whole (does he feel incomplete without you?)

X is x-ray (what is underneath his clothes) OR x-tra (another random headcanon)

Y is yearning (how often does he want to have sex?) OR yuck (things he dislikes)

Z is zzz (how fast do they fall asleep after OR what is sleeping with them like?)

Please specify which character and which alphabet you want!

Love y’all 😘

#ace chats #follower celebration

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dontcallmebree · 1 year

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Bri, heyyyy! ❤️ I hope you're doing well!

For the ask game: I’m gonna say you wouldn’t write a genderswap AU, a high sci-fi AU or an angels/demons AU?

Kay!!! You got it in one honestly. Or in three, rather. Choosing between these to write a snippet for is tough!

Alright, I think I'm going for the sci-fi AU via a Firefly AU. Does that count? 😂 (Never thought I'd write these two as Captain Reynolds & Kaylee but here we are...)

They’ve been flying for the better part of a year—one refuel, two jobs off the record, and a third gone sideways—when Bucky joins him in the cockpit after Sam sets them on a steady course.

Bucky slides into the empty pilot’s seat with sinuous grace, feet tucked up under his thighs and eyes glued to the cosmos beyond. Steve is struck by the sudden urge to avert his gaze.

“This why you spend all your time up here?” Bucky asks, head cocked towards the endless void staring back at them—dark, ominous, and free. “It’s pretty, if you’re into all that.”

“Into what exactly?” he hears himself ask, despite having decided to keep his mouth shut while Bucky talks his ear off.

Buck loves doing that, he’s learned, about some jig he’s cobbled together for their faulty engine, about the cute doctor they’d picked up on their last stop, about Steve’s grooming habits and why he needs a haircut. Nothing is off limits it seems.

Steve is surprised to find he doesn’t mind. Space is too quiet as is; it could use the endless ramblings of Bucky Barnes.

“Oh you know—” Bucky waves indistinctly at the pitch black windows dotted by the occasional floating debris—“all the sad, depressing art you keep down in the bay.”

Oh. He didn’t think anyone was going to mention those. No one likes talking about the war.

“You’re right,” he manages, after a while. “It is pretty.”

“Hmm.” Bucky props his chin up on one knee, marveling at the dreary view like he can see what Steve does: the beauty in the nothingness, no stars, no planets, no goddamn Alliance in sight. “Makes a guy wanna stay out here forever.”

“You could.”

Bucky looks at him like he’s really lost it this time. Not for the confession, a much too ugly truth, but for the simple fact that he’s saying it at all.

But Steve decided a long time ago that this was all there is. The metal hunk of a ship they call home is as close to freedom—to a real life worth living—as they can get, and he’s not giving it up for anything short of another war.

Bucky turns away like he can’t quite look Steve in the eye, face the reality of their very existence. He does, however, let slip a quiet, “I might.”

It almost doesn’t sound like a winless fight, for once. When Bucky says it, Steve can’t remember why a winless fight is even bad at all.

Kinda makes me wanna write a firefly au...

let's exchange asks for the prompt ask game!

#thanks for sending this in kay! turned out to be pretty fun #idk if this is comprehensible out of context tbh sorry #asks #dontcallmebree #stucky #fic #firefly au

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sherlokiness · 11 months

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Shipping Sansa with someone ugly is not the problem (even though no jonsa shipper thinks jon is actually ugly, most of us say he is attractive in an unconventional way, some say he is plain), I could care less about Tyrion and Sandor being ugly if they weren't abusers who assaulted Sansa. Grrm shares this opinion as he said Sam>>>Hound. Similarly, I would be happy with Podrick/Sansa over Tyrion/Sansa anyday, everyday. Florian, Sansa's favorite hero, was also homely, and Sansa associates homely look with horce faced Waynwoods (who have Stark blood). Sansa has moved past her early agot impressions long ago.

Saying Sansa is shallow for wanting a handsome groom? She is a beautiful child of one of the most powerful houses in the 7 kingdoms!!! She's supposed to have higher standards before she's sold given to her husband. Also if they look closer at Sansa's chapters, Sansa really tried to see through Tyrion and Sandor past their ugliness.

Poor sweet Sansa was ready to do her duty with The Imp!! Like that's my baby.😭😭😭 Then Tyrion decided to be decent. Maybe this is why he's still alive in the books and will be serving as HotK? He won't be punished by GRRM the narrative that much. Every villain who has irreconcilable hatred Sansa will die : Dany, LF, Joffrey, Cersei, and Ramsay. Sansa was also ready to marry Willas, a lame man.

I'm still waiting for Sansa to have the princess in the tower ending Arianne should have had. GRRM keeps giving Sansa unsuitable suitors(gay,bastard, imp/bastard, burned,lame, sickly cousin) because he knows they're not the one for her. She was promised to a Targaryen secretly. Or he was promised?👀👀 She's been betrothed many times and had been almost raped yet still remains a maid. Winterfell's walls can really withstand fierce enemies.

#also Sansa was the reason those villains died #directly or indirectly #talk about not being important #my asks

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gvftea · 1 year

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"I honestly think any of the boys like anyone with good personality"

Wrong. If this was the case Danny would've never dated the raging dumpster fire that was Mackenzi who groomed his highschooler ass while simultaneously calling Josh "her beautiful boy" and "the love of her life", and Sam wouldn't be dating a girl who literally uses hate crimes and mass shootings to plug in her music and has a fatphobic, xenophobic, racist past.

I can't speak for the twins but Danny and Sam, especially Sam, have really low standars, especially Sam, and they're comfortable dating literally anyone as long as she's white, skinny and vaguely attractive (I know neither Mack nor Hannah are stunners but they also aren't ugly ugly like y'all say, they're passable.) I've also noticed Sam is into 'cool' girls aka models, musicians, or girls with an alternative fashion sense like Carmen, so being a musician (even if she's a mediocre one) gives Hannah extra points in Sam's eyes. It honestly doesn't take much to get Sam and Danny's attention. If you're caucasian, skinny and feminine in an alternative/artsy way, you can potentially win them over even if you have an awful personality and post pictures of your ugly art or your dead dog on instagram.

Jake is definitely not as shallow as Sam and Danny, but don't let that fool you, he's still appearance-driven. Jita might be chubby and brown but she's still pretty and feminine in a traditional way. If you take her skin color out of the equation, she's virtually the same as Hannah Schooley who was also chubby but still attractive and traditionally feminine.

Josh is the only member of the band I can actually picture dating someone because of their personality and character rather than whether they're pretty or not. And I only say this based on the fact that 1. He's been single forever and 2. People close to him say he doesn't date just anyone. Which means that appearances are not a priority to him. If they were he would've already found someone.

#greta van fleet #gvf #josh gvf #sam gvf #jake gvf #josh kiszka #danny wagner #danny gvf #jake kiszka #sam kiskza

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owomonsterwrites · 2 years

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Whos the first blue team member to bring a random pet home

so, i misread the ask and made an entire hc list, so that's bonus content.

its Sam, Sam is a spartan, Hes strong and the largest spartan of all his siblings, but he melts at the sight of a cute animal. think of the clip from monkie kid and sun wukong is about to fight but sees something so cute and goes "omg no I can't it's so cute wtf" yeah that's Sam, he just. cannot say no to the creature's cute face. I'd like to imagine that he at some point brings home a huragok. rookie 2.0/j

but... all of them would at some point find an animal and want to take it home, none of them would have the heart to leave a stray on the side of the road... but I can imagine Linda strolling in, a quiet laser gun sound can be heard from inside her jacket, and out she pulls out an entire baby crocodile...

for the sake of continuity, the animal is a cat in the hcs.

Kelly: hey Linda. whatcha got there?

Linda: *sips a smoothie while holding said baby crocodile* a smoothie.

(Disclaimer- don't take crocodiles home. please, if you find a wild animal like a crocodile call your local wildlife sanctuary/rescuers)

john if he did find a stray cat make sure to find a safe place for it, or a shelter. and if no shelter is available, maybe depending on the animal it could be added to the arsenal of the bases cat army (rodent exterminators) hed find a fluffy cat, maybe a Norwegian forest cat (just giving you a reference of the level of fluffy) it's a big lump of love.

Fred is aksdaskldg big softie, if he found a stray cat, he'd want to keep it, and if Hes allowed would name it something silly like a cheese grater or something lol, if he couldn't id think much like john, he'd find a good home for the animal, maybe pay it some visits. i like the think the stray/wild animals in the cities love him, local pigeon man. hed find the cat that's the weirdest. its old, ugly, and dumb. Fred loves this cat

Kelly. finds the animal, keeps it no matter what. her cat now. that cat is now a part of blue team and is their mascot. spoils this cat, like the cats you see on TikTok who get groomed monthly, have gold chains and off-white shirts, who needs a cat bed when you can give them a small human bed? spoiled cat. baby.

Sam is the "okay stay here!" runs home and asks to keep it and if he can, runs all the way back and picks the kitty up and heads home. treats the cat like royalty, if the cat wishes to be fed, they are fed. whatever the lord wants. probably an old cat, going senile and deaf but is happy as pie to be a pet to the group of oversized toddler's soldiers.

Linda... Linda is more likely to bring an entire flock of pigeon's home... pigeon lord of the cities. but because were going with cats, she brings home a demon cat that only likes her. much like my pet cat minxy, the demon cat only likes to be brushed by Linda. and when this cat graces you with its presence and decides to sit on you, don't you dare leave. move and the claws are out. you're stuck where you are.

add your thoughts if you want! i would love to hear them :)

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87dvhnk · 12 days

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something unfortunate happened and by that i mean i saw screenshots of sam from season 7 of supernatural and was reminded that i found him mysteriously attractive that season at the same time i remembered that he had been bullied for a strong grooming choice. i do not under normal or else other circumstances find or have ever found sam or jared attractive. that's three. three. that's three strikes. it's not even a bonus; apparently i'm at the point where i could curiously ask someone if a man they mentioned in a story was handsome and they could look me dead in the eye and, "he's ugly, but he has that goofy sort of beard you like, so you'd probably want to fuck him anyway" and i wouldn't be ble to say anything back. because they're probably right.

#lmfao me #joey's muttonchops are like an ancient bacterium perserved in melting arctic ice #this disease is not new #joeyposting

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separatist-apologist · 24 days

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Okay your post about people hating female main characters made me think about this… but before I dive in please know that I am NOT trying to start drama, this is purely friendly debate, and please don’t feel the need to answer if you think it’s gonna start shit.

Now to my question.. what is it that you hate about Aelin, then?

I will say that I understand your hatred for Bryce. I think she and Aelin have a lot of similar characteristics, but I hate Bryce so much meanwhile Aelin is like the loml.

Reflecting on it, I think it’s because those characteristics don’t make sense for Bryce. Her being all secretive and not looping her friends in doesn’t make sense based on her backstory.

Meanwhile, while I understand that those parts of Aelin annoy people, I think they make so much sense for her. She was orphaned at a young age, groomed to become an assassin, finally let someone in to her plans (Sam) only to have him die immediately. Then she also trusted Nehemiah who also then died. I think it makes total sense that she would keep everything to herself moving forward out of fear that her loved ones could be hurt, or that she’ll let them down. Kind of like Rhys and the pregnancy plot. Was it the right choice? No probably not, but it makes sense based on what we know of that characters trauma.

Also I think a lot of people get annoyed that Aelin thinks she’s hot shit, but I’ll say personally I found it kind of nice to have a fmc who was confident and girly. I feel like so often they start out thinking they’re ugly and like no one could ever be into them. And idk I thought it was nice to see someone who knew she was hot. And also like a girl who can rough it but also enjoys the finer things in life and likes dressing up and shopping but like will also murder you, ya know?

Anyway there’s my defense of Aelin. Again, only sending this for funzies not to start fights or anything. You don’t have to agree with me! That’s the fun of fandom, we can all have different opinions and enjoy talking to eachother about this (side eyeing other people in your askbox). I come in peace!

Anyway ily hope you’re having a lovely weekend ❤️

So in the interest of this debate that you brought to me, I guess I'd start by asking where I ever said I hated Aelin and then turned around and lamented not getting a FMC who had all her same traits or stanning a MMC who had all her traits while lambasting her for all those same things? Because you can hate a FMC for not being the vibe- I never argued that people shouldn't hate women simply because they're women.

I kind of resent this ask under the assumption that I'd like Aelin if she was a man, which, again, was the whole crux of my argument assuming you're coming from the post that reads, "Its so funny to me when people will decide they don't like a character, commonly a female main character, then start giving their 'preferred' character all of that MC's traits & symbolism like babe...the call is coming from inside the house."

I would, I guess, invite you to point to where I've done that with Aelin? I don't like almost any of the TOG characters minus Chaol and occasionally Dorian pre whatever book has them on the boat. And I've certainly never assigned all Aelin's symbolism and traits to Chaol. I was really enjoying TOG until, what Queen of Shadows? When all the character development regressed backward to make room for a plot I am convinced was never the original intention of the books and cheapened everything that happened to Caelana, Dorian, and Chaol while living under Evil Dorian Sr whatever his name was.

Anyway, I'm happy to have a conversation about what I do/don't like about the entirety of the TOG series, because it's not just Aelin I don't like. I don't like the series past Queen of Storms (I think, whatever book that ends with spoiler Dorians dad dying). I've never finished it, I just skimmed the last book to see how it ends and I think reading all 800 pages of "and then this secret army we never heard about arrived!) I'd lose my mind.

#if you looked at my good reads youd find 4 and 5 stars for the first four books (minus book 1)#so Im not sure why the defense is necessary- im meh about aelin and i LOATHE bryce #if anything ive been super vocal over my hatred of rowan not being good enough for aelin #(because hes NOT)

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nityarawal · 3 months

Text

2/25/2024

Jai Ma Roast

Morning Songs

Oh My Jai Ma

How Could You

Do This To Me

Oh My Jai Ma

Oh My Devi

Oh My Jaima

The Little Nanny

Whom I Babysat

Beside

Since Ten Years Old

Only A Child

Myself

Jai Ma

You Taught Me

About "Hunger Games,"

Of Court

Jai Ma

You Headhunted Me

For Space X

Grimesz

Airforce Pleas

Jai Ma

You Got A Rewind

Contract With AI

Jai Ma

You Kidnapped

My Children

On A Military

Plea

Jai Ma

You Befriended

David Rippey

A Marine

Who Took My

Virginity

At Eleven

Years Old

And Ended Up

Obese

Jai Ma

You Set Him Up

With Susan Hill

Newton

On A Political

Affair

Jai Ma

Even Though Your

Sister Matched

His Wife

With The Stoner

Sisters

Jai Ma

You Trolled Me

40 Years

Jai Ma

You Think You Own

My Tribe

Jai Ma

You Seem To Be

Trolling Me

On Tumblr

For Elon's Space X

Wife

Jai Ma

Why'd You Join

The Airforce Rapists

Jai Ma

Where's Your

Airheart

Jai Ma

Earharts

Why You

The Kind

Of Mommy

Like Jill Biden

Who Kills

Starter Wives

With Judge

Neighbors

Jai Ma

Alex Was Headhunted

By Her Stepfathers

Judge Magistrate

Benny Waggoner

Atty

Metro Sexual

Brandon Nelson

Did Those Old Men

Buy Your Mammas'

Young Muse Hand

Did Those Old Men

Buy You

Our Principals

Mr. Peter Orange

From Fifth

Through Highschool

Took A Bribe For Court

Alex's Mom

Paid Him Handsomely

Mother Nature

Always Wins

That's A Promise

For Miracles

Mother Nature

Always Wins

Now Jai Ma

Has Five Airforce

Identities

She Says Jai Ma

Died

In Shawna's Arms

Went To Arizona

To Get Some Care

Now They're A

Mash Up

Jaima-Shawna

Linked In

An Force

To Be Reckoned

With

Multiplies

Jai Ma Has Five

Aliases

Like Every Public

Defender

Tracy Thomas

The Rockstar

Mammas

Tracy Thomas

The Gender Dr.

Tracy Thomas

The Book Lover

Tracy Thomas

The Transvestite

Tracy Thomas

The Greenwasher

For T.I.T.S.

Tracy Thomas

Arbonne

Head Hunter

Space Manager

Only A Seed

Left

Of Jai Ma

Do You Really

Want To Send

Your Kids

To This

Tracy Thomas's

School For

Transvestite Pilots

T.I.T.S.

My Brother

Doesn't Complain

But The Infection

From Them

Is Troublin'

Martians

Why Should Any

Astronaut

Lose His Dick

For Justin Trudeau

Fettishes

Why Should Any

Physicist

Be Castrated

For Bush- Schmitz

Admin

Transgenders

Why Should My

Landlord

Be Pimped To Florida

Trans Criminals

On Facebook

Anza Crime Watch

Why Should My

Landlord

Be Pimped To IEHP

Healthcare

Nurse Daughter

From County

Jails

Dealer

Melody Gray

Felon

For A Ugly Black

Mercedes

On The Black

Market

From Ohio/ DC

Big Pharma

Groomers

Be Headhunted

On Anza

Crime Watch

As Kids

For Breeding

Over Fifty Animals

Cold Starvin'

Surveying With

Billions

On Bribes

If You Want His

Body

Why'd You Take Mine

My Son

Is Not

A Kite Runner

For Jihad

False

Crimes

Keanu Reeves

Is Not A Transgender

For Canada

Or Kamala

To Pimp

To A Murdering

Queen

Of Starterwives

Sexually Frustrated

Our Prototypes

Aren't Available

For Elon Musk

Is Forty Nine Percent Owner

And I Own

The Rest

With Rewind AI

Google

Apple

BBVA

PNC Pfizer

Refunds

On The Way

From

First American Legal

We Wouldn't Let

Our Kids Bully

You

Dogs Groomed

Doje

From The Karate

Studio

Jujitsu

We Wouldn't

Sell

Our Daughters

To Uncle Sam

Or Any Day

Traders

At The Super

Bowl

On Bets

And Gambles

We Wouldn't Sell

Our Sons In This

Draft

To Be Castrated

At The Hands Of

Jaima

Tracy Thomas

In A Mean

Staffing Jealousy

Crime

At Space X

With Dr. Hall's Wife

Molly

Recruiter

We Wouldn't Force

Goddaughter Ayni

Raimondi

To Pimp The Globe

In War On Match.com

Or Airbnb

Scams

Murderin' Slumming

40% Of Camp California

You Can Thank Her

Daddy

Principal Dennis

Raimondi

For Butt Plugging

Her Obese

And Selling

Her To Male Cabaret

And Federal Thieves

At Airbnb

"Thunder From Down

Under,"

Match

Adam

Stole My First Real

Lover

Oleg Vydra

From Russia

Came From A Chicago

Gang

To College Prep

School

Boarding With His

Brother

Preaching

Abortions Krishna Murti

False Gurus Lies

And His Greencard

Gigolette

Wife Ivette Havasi Hochman

Trolled Keanu

And My Brother

For Her Jewish

Santa's Second Gentlemen

Not So Gentle

Forced Bribes

With Cohens'

When They Raped

My Kids

With Monika Fodor

Mullen

And Hungarians

Son Max

For The Football

Rams

Scouts

Worried For

Daughters

Tay & Anj

If Billions Only

Turns You Into

A Meme

For Mad Masters

Return My

Assets

And Just Let

Elon

The Children

And I

Roam Wild

Free

"For Real"

This Time

In Our Cybertrucks

At Long Last

Rain Checkin'

Our Way

Through The

Last Eight Years

Of Foul Play

Hitchhikin'

To Mars

Peace,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal by

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abarbaricyalp · 3 years

Note

Hand holding 37

37) not realizing they’re holding hands till someone points it out

I assumed SamBucky. If not, just let me know!

Reblogging with the AO3 link ASAP so hopefully it'll stay in the tag this time.

i wanna hold your hand

Bucky had been in Delacroix for six months when the invitation rolled in. He flipped the heavy, glossy card over in his fingers, stacked the multiple envelopes and smaller cards and pieces of tissue paper together, and then looked at the fancy golden script again.

Albert James Wilson and Stephanie Marie Pujols cordially invite Captain Samuel Thomas Wilson to celebrate their wedding with them on the Third of August Two-Thousand-and-Twenty-Five.

There was more text--RSVP instructions, food preferences, a location--but Bucky’s eyes kept drifting to the scrawled message at the bottom of the invitation next to a quickly drawn shield.

Please bring Sergeant Barnes as your plus one -❤️ Stephanie-

He just about flung the invitation across the kitchen when he heard the door open. “Will you go get the rest of the groceries out of the truck? It’s about to open up and I don’t want to be dragging shit through the rain,” Sam said as he stumbled through the entryway to the kitchen. “Oh, you saw the card, great. You can remember what day it is. They sent a Save-the-Date ages ago but I totally forgot about it.”

Bucky felt a little hollow in the chest as he listened to Sam carry on like it was nothing that someone Bucky didn’t even know asked for him by name. Asked Sam for him. “Uh, who's Albert?” he finally managed to get out through the heavy lump in his throat.

“He’s one of my cousins. One of the babies. I think he’s, like, twenty-six or something? Maybe a little older. Him and Steph have been dating for ages but they took everything really slow. She went to grad school and they always said they weren’t getting married until they were totally graduated and had jobs. And then, you know, the Blip and all.”

Sam set the bags of groceries down on the oven and started to stack cans below the cupboards they went in, fruits by the baskets on the breakfast bar, drinks on the other side of the fridge.

“Right,” Bucky said and tapped the invitation against his metal hand. “Do you think it’s really a good idea for me to go?”

Sam shot him an unamused look. “Listen, you don’t get to invite yourself to the fun parties on the water and then decide that you don’t want to sit through a long ass wedding. Besides, you’ll like the reception. Lots of dancing.”

“Sure, it’s just… I mean, they don’t know me. This is a serious moment and they’re just asking for a stranger to come sit in the audience and watch them...fucking become one under the eyes of God.”

“You’re so Catholic,” Sam snorted and rolled his eyes. “You’re coming with me. I’ll be bored out of my mind if you don’t. Besides, if you don’t go, who’s gonna be the ugly, old one?”

“I hate you,” Bucky sighed.

“I know. Now go get the groceries before the bread gets soaked.”

Bucky had been promised dancing and food. But, while most of the church had cleared out for a local dancehall for the reception, Bucky found himself standing awkwardly by the altar while approximately four million pictures were snapped of the wedding party. Sam, leaning against a beautiful statue that he probably shouldn’t have been leaning against next to Bucky, was the only thing keeping Bucky from royally losing his entire mind.

He hadn’t been in a church basically since DC all those years ago. Who knew about before then. Occasionally, when he’d been on the run, he’d crept into an empty rectory to snag a few minutes of quiet where he could rest his eyes without feeling like someone was staring at him, waiting for a moment of weakness on his part. And, sure, growing up Catholic had put this indelible mark on his soul that reacted to any church, empty or not. A deep longing and belonging that he’d never been able to fully grapple with.

But empty churches where he just wanted to sleep were not the same level of overwhelming that a church in the midst of celebration was. Now, all that longing and belonging was spilling over his ribs and soaking into the rest of his body, alive and hot and so tangible he felt like he could almost reach inside himself and touch it.

He missed this.

He missed the happiness and the family and the love that he could find in the walls of a church, in the midst of a celebration. He missed being able to feel something bigger than himself.

The bride and groom hadn’t stopped smiling and laughing all afternoon, always good sports about redoing a photo or trying a new pose or bringing new people into the same picture they’d taken a thousand times already. They couldn’t take their eyes off of each other, couldn’t let go of hands or waists or cheeks.

God, Bucky missed it.

“Okay, how about something with all of the couples?” the photographer asked. “Mom, dad, get on in there. Any bridesmaids and groomsmen paired up? Alright, you go there. Sirs? Sirs?”

“Yo, Sam!” Albert called out and Bucky looked up sharply from the jostling of people in love with each other and the moment.

“I’m not here with anyone,” Sam called back.

“You’re holding your date’s hand?” the photographer said, clearly unsure of what was before her own eyes now.

Sam and Bucky both looked down at their interlocked fingers, hands pressed between their thighs, and then jumped apart with muttered apologies.

“Uh. We’re not. We’re not.” What a stupid thing to have to say after everyone had just seen them. “We’re not together,” Bucky finally got out.

Stephanie frowned deeply for the first time all afternoon, a scheming furrow appearing between her eyebrows.

“Alright… Well then, is that everyone? Okay, cheese it up hard…”

The pictures continued.

“Sorry again,” Bucky said a while later while he and Sam stood shoulder to shoulder in the church’s small bathroom, both looking at their own reflections while they washed their hands.

“Nah, it’s fine. I probably just kept shifting closer to you,” Sam said and there was a strain in his voice that Bucky couldn’t quite place. He didn’t think he’d heard it before. Not on Sam.

“Sometimes I kind of tune out what that arm’s feeling,” he said. “There’s- a lot of nerve activity, y’know. I didn’t notice I’d grabbed you.”

“It was the moment,” Sam agreed. “We were watching a bunch of other people hold hands and shit.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said. He shook water off of his fingers and then wiped his hands on his slacks. “Can we go eat now?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, nodding quickly. “Let’s get outta here. I’m sure other people are waiting.”

The dancehall was dim, lit up only with white string lights draped over the rafters and around the tables and columns. It smelt heavenly, a mix of well cooked food and an open bar and desserts that Bucky couldn’t even name. Sam grabbed Bucky’s wrist--this time he felt it--and pulled him through the crowds lingering at the dance floor’s edge. He gave as short answers as was possible to stay polite until they got to the food.

Sarah was waiting for them.

“What took you two so long?” she asked. “I’ve had to fend off a dozen people looking for Captain America.”

“You will not believe what happened to us at the church,” Sam said, loading up a plate with more food than Bucky felt comfortable taking. It was fine because Sam was making Bucky a plate too and they were pretty similar in portion size.

“Oh, yes I will,” Sarah said. “Stephanie told me all about it.”

“What? How did she beat us here? We got in our car first.”

“Why did you two lie to that poor photographer?” Sarah asked.

Bucky looked up with a meringue half in his mouth. “We didn’t? She made the assumption herself.”

“You said you weren’t together,” Sarah clarified. “Why are you playing coy with me?”

“We’re not together,” Sam insisted for the second time that day. Bucky ignored the cinch of his heart and grabbed a brownie to add to Sam’s precarious stack of food.

Sarah brought two fingers up to the bridge of her nose. “Samuel Thomas,” she said and Sam squawked out an indignant sound.

“Don’t say my name like that. You sound just like mom.”

“You’re lucky it’s me and not mom listening to you lie to yourself.”

Sam was about to argue with her, Bucky could tell, when the plate in his hand suddenly tipped. Bucky’s hand shot out to steady it, fingers sliding over Sam’s to hold it still, wait for the food to stop moving before adjusting their hands under it to continue carrying it.

Sarah shot them a very pointed look. “Cass and AJ are holding our table down and Mrs. Reynolds has already said she wants at least two dances from you,” she said to Sam.

“Yes, ma’am,” Sam said, just a little sarcastically. “Come on, Buck. And grab an extra roll. AJ’s gonna take all the good desserts if we don’t distract him.”

Sam did far more dancing than Bucky did. Just about all night, he had someone on his arm, cutting in, or pulling him back to the floor. Between everyone at their table, they cleared the plates Sam had made but Bucky didn’t think Sam had had half of what he wanted. He made sure to collect another plate when he was sure everyone had had a chance to eat and kept it safe at his side, even with AJ curled up in his lap, snoozing against his metal shoulder soundly. True, most kids couldn’t eat while they were asleep but after watching him put away way more carbs and sugar than Bucky thought should be possible, he wasn’t putting anything past the kid.

When Sam managed to drag himself away from all of his fans for the sixth time that night, and when he shot Bucky a curious but pleased glance between AJ and his shoulder, Bucky just said, “Sugar crash,” and pushed the plate of food over to Sam with the arm not currently holding AJ in place.

Possibly, AJ got his appetite from his uncle if the way Sam dug in was anything to go by. “Jesus, man, breathe,” Bucky laughed and passed over the bottle of beer he’d been nursing most of the last hour.

“Thanks. I forgot how much a full night of dancing takes out of you. Not as young as I used to be, y’know,” Sam said and took a long pull from Bucky’s drink.

“You literally moved a boulder off a road yesterday,” Bucky pointed out.

“I only had to do that once and I had the jetpack. I’ll tell you, my feet wish I had the wings about now,” Sam answered. He put away a roll and one of the sweets Bucky didn’t know before finally sitting back a little, forearms rested on the tables. He’d discarded his jacket after the fourth or so dance and at some point he’d rolled up his shirt sleeves to his elbows. That, plus the brown suspenders over his light blue shirt had him looking like a hundred old memories in Bucky’s mind.

“AJ and I filmed you a few times,” Bucky said to distract himself from the sweat cooling on Sam’s forearms. He brought his phone out and left it on the table as it played a video. Sam leaned forward and then laughed.

“Oh, you liked that one, huh?” he asked.

“Nah, that was AJ’s choice. I liked this one,” he said, swiping to the previous video.

“Of course, something more lindy-hop,” Sam said with a nod. “That lady called me every single day after mom died, y’know. She always said it was ‘cause she missed her already and our voices were similar, but I think she was worried about me.”

“Who was this one?” Bucky asked, flipping through a few more clips.

“Oh, shit,” Sam laughed. “I can’t believe you recorded that. We went to the prom together junior year. Her dad hated me. He’d probably hate that this video exists.”

“Captain America couldn’t even clear the bad blood?” Bucky joked.

“Hell no. Prom night, he busted into the living room after the dance thinking he was gonna catch us in some act but we were just watching movies. It was never like that with us, but you couldn't convince him.”

Bucky flipped to another video. “Her son joined up with me but ended up dropping out and going Navy instead. - She was my first boss. - I played baseball with that guy and he came out a few months after we graduated. - I dated her daughter very briefly. - That’s the daughter and the little one is her daughter. - That’s my favorite teacher’s son. He just wanted to say hi from his mom.”

“Hey, what are you looking at?” AJ asked groggily suddenly. He leaned over the table, small hand coming to rest where, once again, Sam and Bucky’s had drifted together on the other side of the phone. This time they couldn’t jump apart.

“Uncle Sam, Uncle Bucky danced with my teacher and she said he had the prettiest eyes she’d ever seen,” Cass shouted as he came bounding back to the table with Sarah in tow behind him. Bucky had seen her dance with a handsome man for three dances in a row so if she cut any new knowing looks at where their hands were being held hostage, he had some retaliation this time.

Bucky finally let Sam drag him out to the middle of the dancefloor just as things were beginning to wind down. Many guests had already left for the evening, catering had cleared out the food, though Sam and AJ really did their part in making sure there was no bread left for them to clean, and the band had packed up and left a local DJ to close out the night.

This time, Bucky was more than aware of his hand sliding into Sam’s, his metal hand settling against Sam’s shoulder, thumb brushing over the strap of his suspenders. Sam’s other hand was warm and welcome against his hip. Bucky couldn’t help but step closer to him as they swayed to the slow song.

“You were really good with all the kids all night,” Sam said. “I saw them dogpile you earlier.”

“Kids like me,” Bucky said with a shrug. “Entertaining them was my job at weddings back when too. All those nights of dancing and I never got to show off at family functions,” he joked.

“You showed off plenty. I think it’s gonna be you Mrs. Reynolds asks for next time someone gets married. Hell, maybe she’ll be marrying you.”

Bucky laughed and shook his head. “Hey, she’s got spirit. I think if we’d gone a few more dances, she might’ve found one I didn’t know.”

“Well, it was a jazz band. Can’t blame you for not keeping up when you didn’t grow up with good music.”

“We had jazz,” Bucky said with a roll of his eyes. “It was nice, getting to see more of your life.”

Sam looked thoughtful for a moment before he nodded. “Yeah, it was nice stepping back in time a little bit, getting to see how everyone’s grown up.”

“You’re so loved here. Not Captain America. Sam Wilson. People adore you.”

Sam ducked his head shyly and Bucky reached up to catch a knuckle under his chin. The music had stopped and their feet must’ve realized it before their brains because they weren’t dancing anymore either.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Sammy,” someone called from across the room. Bucky recognized the groom’s voice. “You haven’t let go of his hand all night. Just kiss him already.”

Sam and Bucky both looked down at their tangled fingers and let out a little laugh. “Well, if it’s what your fans want…” Bucky suggested.

“Shut up, man,” Sam laughed and leaned forward to kiss him.

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky fanfiction #the falcon and the winter soldier #writing #i answer things

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sparkagrace · 1 year

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Welcome to my fic masterlist! Most fics are Steve x Bucky but listed if they're not. Everything is on my ao3 and divided up into series and standalones.

series

lane lines series ● complete sports au, olympics, swimming, rivals to lovers

lane lines ▪ mature | 132k | complete

lumiere ▪ mature | 5k | one-shot

new traditions ▪ mature | 6k | one-shot

treading water ▪ mature | 275k | complete

al, pal and alpine series ● ongoing kid fic, canon div, established relationship, domestic fluff

the question ▪ gen | 3k | one-shot

the pancakes ▪ teen | 7k | one-shot

ballet shoes ▪ teen | 3k | one-shot

post-match ▪ teen | 4.8k | one-shot

london calling ▪ teen | 11k | complete

mouth bones ▪ teen | 4.3k | one-shot

flower girl ▪ teen | 3k | one-shot

fire escape ▪ teen | 6k | one-shot

the proposals ▪ gen | 4k | one-shot

last train home series ● complete modern au, fluff, slice of life, established relationship

last train home ▪ gen | 1k | one-shot

found a place to fit ▪ teen | 4k | one-shot

the third day in january ▪ teen | 5k | one shot

parental advisory ▪ teen | 5k | one-shot

six months and counting ▪ teen | 5.7k | one-shot

his, his and theirs ▪ teen | 3.7k | one-shot

sunday lunch ▪ teen | 4.5k | one-shot

dial 'u' for uncles ▪ teen | 7.5k | one-shot

off track ▪ teen | 5.9k | one-shot

standalones

coffee stains ▪ teen | 6k | one-shot shrunkyclunks, post-avengers (2012), meet-ugly

off the record ▪ mature | 37k | complete shrunkyclunks, post-avengers (2012), reporter!bucky barnes

be kind, rewind ▪ mature | 47k | complete shrunkyclunks, 90s au, becca barnes

fifteen-love ▪ teen | 5k | one-shot au, tennispro!steve, actor!bucky, meet-ugly

rough edges ▪ mature | 33k | complete sports au, ice dancing, rivals, road trip

the white wolf of wall street ▪ teen | 2.5k | one-shot au, werewolf!bucky, stock market

nobody else ▪ teen | 5k | one-shot pre-serum steve, unrequited love, 1940s

no church in the wild ▪ teen | 3k | one-shot pre-serum steve, captain america bucky, winter soldier sam

i’ll take your roses (if you cut off the thorns) ▪ teen | 5k | one-shot runaway groom, florist au, pre-serum steve

Steve Rogers, PA ▪ teen | wip hunkyclinks, personal assistant steve, winter soldier bucky

comic books and coffee cups ▪ teen | 4.7k | one-shot modern au, coming out, fluff

non-steve x bucky

so deck the halls (trim those trees) ▪ teen | 5k | one-shot bucky & natasha & clint, roommates, modern au, christmas

evanstan

haylofts & cashmere ▪ mature | 10k | one-shot au, meet ugly, farm life, mechanic!chris, ceo!seb

tangled up ▪ teen | 9.5k | one-shot spiders, 5+1, friends to lovers

misc. masterlists

tumblr ficlets

stuckybingo masterlist

#stucky fanfiction #stevebucky #stucky fic #steve x bucky #fic masterlist #my fic #masterlist

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janeykath318 · 3 years

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The Best Worst Day Of Your Life: Bucky x Reader

It was an incredibly awkward way to meet one's’s future spouse, but looking back on it later, you realized it would make an incredible tale to tell your future children. It started with you being dumped at the altar, because the man you were crazy in love with and had promised to marry changed his mind.

You’d fled the church, unable to face your friends and family, and wandered until you found a bench, just inside the nearby cemetery.

Throwing yourself down on it, you cried your eyes out. How could he do this to you? He’d told you many times he’d looked forward to being your husband. He’d been counting down the days with you and eagerly planning the future. You couldn’t figure out what had suddenly changed and how you hadn’t seen it coming.

As the sobs turned to sniffles, you heard footsteps coming up beside you and someone cleared their throat.

“Ma’am? Are you alright?” a deep voice asked.

You blinked away the tears to see a tall brown haired man standing there, looking at you with concern. He wore a lot of leather and was a bit scruffy and you probably wouldn't have acknowledged him if you’d been thinking straight. However, You were too heartbroken to care about stranger danger.

“No,” you said bluntly, wiping away more tears. So much for that mascara.

“I just got dumped at the altar. The best day of my life just became the worst.”

The stranger winced.

“Aw. That’s terrible,” he sympathized. “I’ll never understand why people wait until the last second if they can’t go through with it. A real Dick move.”

“Clearly, he didn’t have much of one,” you said bitterly.

You noticed he had a bunch of flowers in his hands and you realized that your ugly sobbing had probably disturbed his graveside vigil.

Very embarrassed, you buried your face in your hands.

“And I’ve been making a spectacle of myself in this cemetery. I’m so sorry to bother you, Mister. I promise I’m not that inconsiderate normally.”

“I wouldn’t say Crying is generally considered out of place in a cemetery,” the man observed. “And you aren’t bothering me. I was just paying my semi regular respects. My parents have been gone for years and I like to bring flowers for them.”

“That’s very sweet of you,” you said.

There was something very familiar about his face, but you couldn’t think what it was. It was a very nice face, though.

Picking yourself up, you dusted off your dress, hoping it wouldn’t be stained. Your attempt to walk forward, however, didn’t go well as your heels sank in the damp grass.

“Argh!” You groaned. “I did not think this through.”

Sitting back down, you removed your shoes. Better to get dirty feet than a dirty expensive dress.

“Can you get back okay?” The stranger asked.

“I think so,” you nodded. “You seem like a good guy. I hope your special someone appreciates you.”

Cute stranger cracked a very attractive grin. (His chin had an adorable dimple that you tried your hardest not to stare at.)

“I don’t have one, but thanks. I hope your ex realizes what an idiot he was.”

“Thanks,” you said with a grateful smile, glancing back toward the church. Your stomach churned, but you couldn’t avoid it much longer. “I’d better get going before they send out a search party. Time to face this mess.”

“So long. Hope your day gets better,” offered leather guy.

With a wave, you started back toward the church, thinking it was a shame such a nice guy was still single, never dreaming you’d meet him again.

Nearly three years later, after having sworn off romance in the wake of your own disaster, you were finally persuaded by an old college friend to go on a double date with her. It took a lot of pleading from Darcy, but when she said she was dating the new Captain America, you were more inclined to go through with it, if for nothing else than to meet the amazing Sam Wilson.

“Ok, fine. But his friend better be worth this,” you told her. “I’m not breaking my drought for some average dudebro.”

Darcy grinned in delight.

“There is nothing average about either of them. Trust me,” she said with a naughty grin.

Turned out Sam Wilson was a very charming guy and super cool when being introduced to you. You could see right away why he and Darcy were so good together and your misgivings were somewhat eased.

“So, please introduce me to your mysterious friend that no one will give me any clues about,” you said, looking pointedly at Darcy.

Sam pulled his friend out of the corner where he’d been lurking and pushed him toward you.

“Y/N, meet James Barnes, otherwise known as Bucky, otherwise known as a pain in the ass.”

You and Bucky looked at each other and then a shock of recognition had you exclaiming in unison, “Cemetery guy!!” “Jilted Bride!”

You stared at each other in disbelief, Sam and Darcy also wide-eyed, before the realization of who he was sank in.

“You’re Bucky Barnes?” You gasped out.

Bucky was looking very nervous now.

“Is that going to be a problem?” He asked, in a wary way that suggested it HAD been a problem before.

“Nope. I’m just flabbergasted I didn’t recognize you before. There was something about you that made me instinctively trust you, even though you were a stranger. I could tell you were a good guy.”

“Awww,” Darcy crooned as a crooked smile appeared on Bucky’s face.

“Let’s get our table and you can fill us in on your mysterious meeting! I demand details!” And Darcy herded you into the restaurant with unbridled enthusiasm.

When you and Bucky had finished your story, Sam and Darcy both went “awww!”

“So, you know about me, then?” Bucky asked quietly.

You nodded and he gave a sigh of relief.

“Well, I’ll take it as a good sign you’re still here.”

He looked hopeful and your heart was filled with emotions. This man was a hero who’d spent years brainwashed and forced to do horrible things, but he really was a very good man.

“This is the first time I’ve gone on a date since he dumped me,” you admitted. “I haven’t really wanted to, unless the guy gave me the same vibes you did.”

Bucky smiled at you very warmly.

“Thanks for giving it a chance, Y/N. I haven’t had much luck dating either. I think I was subconsciously comparing them all to you.”

You felt entirely too giddy at this statement.

“Their loss,” you said with a wink. “So, do I get to see your other hand, or is that a third date kind of thing?” You asked boldly, glancing at his left arm, which he’d kept mostly concealed in the leather jacket.

Sam snorted and Darcy chuckled, but Bucky turned pink and almost sheepishly placed his metal left hand on the table.

“Force of habit,” he said. “Freaks people out.”

“Not me. I think it’s gorgeous,” you told him, admiring the intricate design. “Wakanda?”

“Yep,” Bucky said, flexing it. “They’re geniuses. Fixed my brain and everything. No more worrying about being turned into the soldier again.”

“I’m very happy for you, Bucky,” you told him, feeling genuine joy for his good news. “I can’t imagine what a relief that must be.”

Sam and Darcy took charge of the conversation for a while and you and Bucky mostly stole glances at each other. Somehow, though, your hand ended up clasped in his metal one.

“So, were you able to resell your dress then?” Bucky asked. “I’ve heard they can put quite a dent in one’s wallet these days.”

“Yeah, actually I was,” you told him. “A friend of mine bought it and wore it to her wedding, which had a much happier result. At least one good thing came out of that mess.”

“Only one?” He asked, squeezing your hand gently.

“Well……..I guess we’re about to find out,” you told him, smiling shyly.

A couple years later, you were wearing white again, but this time the groom showed up, looking unbelievably handsome and grinning ear to ear.

#bucky barnes x reader #wedding drabble #not really a drabble #but im using the same tag for filing purposes #bucky barnes #Fem! Reader

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agentrouka-blog · 3 years

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Why do you think grrm introduced Gilly in Jon chapter? Do you think it was because to make people realise that Jon is not perfect even though he wanted to save weak people?

Hi there!!

(tl;dr: Yes. Yes, exactly for that reason.)

Oh, it’s a lot more complex than that. I love this ask because it reminded me how much I love what GRRM is doing with Jon and Gilly. She is like a lens that highlights all the ways Jon needs to grow beyond the limitations of “honor”.

Because Jon’s concept of honor, as taught by Ned and their whole world, means well but is ultimately ineffective because it prioritizes patriarchical structures. It prioritizes the relationships between men, over the supposed goals of protecting the helpless and doing the right thing. Furthermore, it becomes ineffective because it utterly fails to take into account the perspective of the “object”, i.e. women and children.

The truly honorable thing Ned does is to defy his king and “brother” Robert and protect Jon. The truly honorable thing Jaime does is to break his oath and end Aerys.

“True honor” is usually found outside the official structures set up by men, for men.

We see Jon failing Gilly in this way more than once.

Their second meeting, after Ghost kills her rabbits the night before (gallant, Jon!), is beautifully framed by the “magic beyond the Wall” image. He wakes up to winter wonderland and recalls Sansa and Arya. Sansa’s “wonder” at the “enchantment” mirrors Jon’s, while he also recalls Arya’s proactive attitude. “Touch it all.” During his confrontation, he delegates Gilly to the role of a lady, pushing her into the Sansa corner. It’s cute and chivalric, but it’s also empty. He has already decided not to help her. After his confrontation with Gilly? He knocks the ice off his cloak and proceeds to literally piss all over the magic ice scenery. Angry and lashing out. Destroying a beautiful illusion of honor.

It’s his Night’s Watch experience writ small. He wants to be part of something noble but the actual reality is very different and ugly and makes him bitter. But where he managed to come around and see the perspective of his fellow recruits, he doesn’t make the leap with Gilly because she is a girl. Instead he lashes out at the “illusion”, caught in the alleged impossibility of his position. A kinder version of Jaime and Rhaella.

But it really only is an illusion because Jon allows it to be. The ice glaze was real, he had to break it. Just like he chooses to prioritize the rules over Gilly’s plight, and prefers dismissing what she brings to the table.

Gilly, introduced through Jon’s perspective, seems like the weakest of damsels, but this is misleading. All the action originates with her:

decides she wants to save her child and waits for an opportunity

observes Jon not partaking in guest right gestures

identifies Samwell as the kindest one to ask for help

uses the language of Jon’s world to try and gain his help (”a king protects people”)

reveals absolutely crucial information about Craster and the Others

literally only wants assistance so far as the Wall

Samwell doesn’t know how to help her, either, but his priorities are much more commendable and he actually allows Gilly’s perspective to matter:

“I know,” said Sam guiltily, “but she was afraid. I know what it is to be afraid. I told her . . .” He swallowed.

“What? That we’d take her with us?”

Sam’s fat face blushed a deep red. “On the way home.” He could not meet Jon’s eyes. “She’s going to have a baby.”

“Sam, have you taken leave of all your sense? We may not even return this way. And if we do, do you think the Old Bear is going to let you pack off one of Craster’s wives?”

“I thought . . . maybe by then I could think of a way . . .”

“I have no time for this, I have horses to groom and saddle.” Jon walked away as confused as he was angry. Sam’s heart was as big as the rest of him, but for all his reading he could be as thick as Grenn at times. It was impossible, and dishonorable besides. So why do I feel so ashamed? (ACOK, Jon III)

Sam prioritizes Gilly’s situation and he doesn’t dismiss it as impossible in order to relieve himself of the burden like Jon does. He defers the issue and allows for a potential change in circumstances, for a future solution to present itself.

And we know it will. In ASOS Samwell II, it’s the ladies doing all the work again. He can barely stomach listening to Gilly give birth, he hopes against hope she will have a daughter to solve the problem the easy way, but in the end, it’s the sister-wives who present the solution to him. Amid all the chaos of the revolt and Mormont’s death, they have prepared Gilly and the newborn for immediate departure, they tell Sam what to do and his one big achievement is to simply listen to them.

Later on ADWD, Jon contemplates the strength of women when Val doesn’t flinch at “Mance’s” execution, but is that truly strength?

He made himself a heartless stone monster because he was afraid of withstanding Gilly’s emotions over losing her own child to save Mance’s. He never asked her input, never truly allowed her to make this choice on her own, or perhaps even suggest an alternative. Like Samwell wanting to run out of the house while Gilly is screaming in labor, Jon is afraid to simply witness the horrible reality. He locks out the actual perspective of Gilly, praises Val for making her pain invisible, essentially. Gallant, Jon!

Of course, we know why Jon is so particularly triggered by Gilly: his mommy issues. She is not just a girl but a young mother in peril. Like his own, essentially, as far as Jon knows. We see Jon grappling with the fact that Ned fathered a bastard, and held all the power over the information.

Jon hesitated. He wanted to say that Lord Eddard would never dishonor himself, not even for love, yet inside a small sly voice whispered, He fathered a bastard, where was the honor in that? And your mother, what of his duty to her, he will not even say her name. "He would do whatever was right," he said … ringingly, to make up for his hesitation. "No matter what." (AGOT, Jon VIII)

He will not even say her name. Jon’s mother is as invisible a pain as Val’s. Jon has no access to it, cannot process it. Is that strength, Jon? No. Is that honor? No.

This quote really sums up what Jon’s journey with “honor” will be. Deep down, Jon knows that there is a difference between that outward, structure-oriented honor and the truly honest, cooperative kind of service that encompasses “doing the right thing”. (The use of the word “ringing” suggests that Jon will confront this difference in connection to some bells, perhaps?)

Since Ned is Jon’s only source of identity, Jon doesn’t know how to let go of the top-down, structure-oriented model of honor he was taught by him, though. Duty, hierarchy and silence, instead of choice, communication and cooperation.

The model will, unfortunately, let go of Jon for him.

By early ADWD, Jon is still caught up in that mindset. He has started to dismantle it, slowly, in ASOS, basing his decisions on his own sense of right and wrong more than on outward demands. It was a good path, it gained him the title of Lord Commander and a form of inner peace.

But he’s backsliding, too. “Kill the boy” is the opposite of what he needs to do, yet there he goes. He is unecessarily domineering and cruel with Gilly, he sends Samwell away, he eventually sends most of his friends and supporters away. He barely explains his decisions and puts all his trust in the male-honor structure of the Night’s Watch. Oh, he considers female strengths. He thinks of his toxic mentor Ygritte a lot, and he contemplates what Val can offer, rejects the pragmatic coldness of someone like Selyse. But he initially bases his leadership style entirely on the hierarchy offered by the Watch. Obedience, brotherhood among his men, whose names “are carved into his heart”.

As he hits his stride, he gets better. Jon considers the things that can be offered by the wildlings, takes their perspective into account, loosens up the structure of the Night’s Watch to create an actual pragmatic solution to the real issue at hand. Inside, he struggles more and more with the demands to shut off his emotions, and makes increasing attempts to ditch the rules to save people: Arya, the people at Hardhome. It’s no accident these things are again in opposition to his “sworn brotherhood”.

Of course, it is his own brothers who end up stabbing him the moment it looks like Jon is veering outside their rigid rules. And just as Jon was about ready to break his vows to save the one person whose pain he is incapable of pushing away: baby sister Arya.

We’ll see what that does to Jon’s state of mind, seeing himself booted out of the “ranks of honor” in this way. Suddenly, everything will fall back to him: choice, communication, cooperation. Suddenly, it will be his move to “do the right thing” on his own terms. I have a fleeting suspicion that the female perspectives and strategies of the world will come rushing in the moment he lets them, much to his benefit. (Hello, girl in grey.)

It’s probably no accident that Sam and Gilly will likely have a hand in clearing up the identity and circumstances of Jon’s mother in Oldtown, and open up that gateway for Jon to face that pain that has a woman’s face. Something tells me Jon and Gilly will demonstrate Jon’s growth when they meet again, when he finally acknowledges her brand of strength. They’ll finally have a confrontation among equals, a Gilly seen as strong as she always has been, a Jon who no longer has to rely on outside structures and hierarchy to guide his choices.

#asoiaf #jon snow #gilly the wildling #samwell tarly #honor as a male-oriented structure #'strong women' v. visible pain #hiding behind the rules v. making proper choices #honor #duty #patriarchy #sexism

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