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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 17 days

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Hey Raven, hope your doing well. I was rewatching book 5 and something struck me. Crowly stills does his thing to get yuu/mc to host the NRC tribe at Ramshackle. But compare to previous chapters hes seems a little nicer, i guess? He offering renovations and upgrades ( a positive), instead of just threatening to cut yuu's food budget or something (a negative).

Where im going with this is, do you think Crowley may have felt a tiny tinge for his (in) action in book 4? Or atleast, realized he actually screwed up. He did give Yuu in case of an emergency.... and promptly ignored it (or just turned it off) when he went on break. He likely had to have heard what happened over the break...an likely saw his missed calls and put 2 and 2 together. Sure he may not feel bad enough to apologize (at least openly), but he does seem to make himself scarce early in b5. That could just be him being, well, the headmage. Maybe he's just not sure how to deal with MC or how they'd react to seeing him? So instead of threatening Yuu, he offers them something instead? Idk, maybe im reaching. Crowley relationship with Yuu is complicated. I do like to believe he has some empathy or regret (or maybe he just has more respect for yuu by b5?) After everything up to that point

Like i said, i may be reaching here. Wanted to get your input. Sorry for the long ask. Have a good one :)

In many fandom depictions of Crowley, he often serves as Yuu's guardian who is incompetent but well-meaning. I'm also guilty of doing this, Crowley is considered my OC's father figure (even if my OC isn't a Yuu). That's how we choose to engage with the characters and the world that we love! However, I don't believe that Crowley has that sort of tenderness for Yuu in canon, whether at the start or as their relationship develops over the course of the main story. Now, that's not to say that I think Crowley is cold or hateful towards Yuu. Far from it! He does care for them, but in the same way that a teacher might care about nurturing their students and preparing them for the world beyond graduation. Crowley demonstrates a similar attitude towards other NRC students, with one very clear example being in his Raven Jacket vignettes. In those stories, he likens his students to apple trees that he raises and nurtures, hoping that one day they might bear fruit. He does not particularly grant Yuu special treatment unless it's a scenario where he wants them to do a favor for him. (Though here I would also argue he does the same for other students when he wants them to resolve an issue in his place, which happens frequently in event stories; in Fairy Gala, he warns the boys they'll be held back if classes cannot proceed due to the wacky weather. In Ghost Marriage, Crowley shames the boys for not expressing interest in rescuing Idia, etc.)

I also want to set the record straight regarding how exactly Crowley gets Yuu to comply with his requests. Reviewing all avaliable books in the main story, Crowley rarely outright threatens Yuu if they refuse to help him:

Prologue — Crowley does not initially ask anything of Yuu, but he does provide them a temporary home and food until they can sort something out. During Yuu's stay, they are meant to do handiwork to earn their keep. However, Crowley tries to expel them after their involvement in breaking what is considered a precious chandelier. In this case, his anger is somewhat justified but it's still the one major example of Crowley leveraging something to force Yuu to act in a way that he desires. The thing is, it's revealed in chapter 19 that Crowley did not believe Yuu could acquire the magestone he asked for and was all set to finalize the expulsion papers. So really, he wasn't serious at all in giving Yuu a chance to redeem themselves and was going to expel Yuu anyway (until they happened to prove their "usefulness"). Whether this counts as an example of Crowley "threatening" Yuu, then, is up to individual interpretation.

Book 1 — Crowley makes no specific request to Yuu. He shows up late in the book and suggests to the frustrated Adeuce that they fight Riddle to claim his seat as dorm leader, but does not tell Yuu to do anything in this situation. Recall that it was Ace that marched up to Ramshackle's front door and demanded that he be allowed to stay overnight; Crowley had no part in that.

Book 2 — In 2-7, Crowley asks Yuu to investigate the strange string of accidents that has befallen the students set to play in the upcoming inter-dorm magift/spelldrive tournament. There is a part where Crowley says he "never promised to cover living expenses". You, as Yuu, have the option to ask him "Is that a threat...?" to which Crowley never properly responds. Interpret that how you wish. He then offers Grim and Yuu a chance to participate in said tournament if they succeed, seeing as they lacked the 7 players needed to form a team. Crowley even says he will find 5 other players to fill in their missing team seats for them.

Book 3 — Here in 3-6, Crowley never actually threatens to cut off food. Instead, he is trying to earn pity from Yuu by guilt tripping them and emphasizing that he, the headmaster, is so busy with his tasks (like finding Yuu a way home) and will provide them with the funds they need regardless because he is so very kind. He's trying to tug at their heartstrings by pointing out the things he selflessly does for them, so they feel obligated to do something for him in return. Once Yuu agrees to help, he lavishes them with praise and says it is "expected" of someone he personally chose.

But!! I want to add that in the Episode of Octavinelle manga, this same scene is depicted as Crowley threatening to cut their food budget. I'm not sure if this is just a different interpretation (since Yuuta seems to prepare more food than is usually implied in the game; this would explain why their food costs go up significantly) or if Crowley truly was also threatening to cut the budget in the game.

Book 4 — Crowley makes a reasonable request in 4-2; he asks Yuu and Grim to tend to the fire fairies over winter break since it's a task no one else will be present to handle. In exchange, he says he will give them a banquet of tasty foods (which is not an empty promise; in 4-39, the Ramshackle Ghosts tell Yuu and Grim that the headmaster has left them with a ton of food as thanks.

Book 5 — Crowley appears in 5-21 asking that Yuu allow the NRC Tribe to stay at Ramshackle for their month-long training camp. He explains that Vil and Rook are willing to give up their share of the prize money if Yuu agrees to these terms. It is then that Crowley adds that he will help with renovation too, most likely to sweeten the deal with his word.

Book 6 — Crowley does not ask anything of Yuu. He does, however, call in STYX in 6-2 because he becomes concerned about the threat that Grim poses after consuming multiple crystallized blots. After Grim is taken, Crowley instructs Yuu in 6-4 to wait until Grim has recovered and been evaluated by a third party to speak with him again.

Book 7 — Crowley makes no specific requests to Yuu.

You can see in almost all instances that Crowley uses a variety of tactics to get his students to do what he wants them to. He bribes, shames/guilts them, points out very real consequences if the problem at hand is not resolved, and, yes, occasionally makes what can be interpreted as a vague threat. Despite this, the fact remains that he was always nice, not just post-book 4 (in fact, Crowley was also nice during book 4). I don't see the circumstances as "anything before or during book 4 is him being negative and threatening to punish Yuu and anything after book 4 is him being kind and positive to Yuu". In most cases with Yuu, he is offering them something they would want. His go-to strategy isn't threats, it tends to be the promise of a reward.

I wouldn't tie any of Crowley's actions to feeling a sense of remorse or guilt on his own part. While it's true we don't really get to see inside of his head, from what we see of him... this man is utterly shameless. He's willing to resort to emotional manipulation to convince literal children to solve problems that he, the powerful mage and adult, should be dealing with. What's more, he praises himself for Yuu's competence and willingness to step up. That's him placing a lot of faith in his students, and I don't think he feels any guilt in doing this. Why else would he send them into dangerous situations over and over again? He must, to some extent, believe they can already handle themselves just fine, otherwise he's creating tons of legal liabilities for himself by purposefully throwing children of tons of affluent families into the line of fire. Besides, he's a highly skilled mage himself--if any true, TRUE danger were to befall them, surely he could save the day himself. My thought is that he has sort of a "tough love" approach where he tosses his students into the fires and sees how they get out of it in one piece, but it's just presented in a "devil-may-care" way because of his lackadaisical attitude.

Regarding book 4, I personally see Crowley giving his cell phone number as just a means to provide reassurance to Grim and Yuu, since they (especially Grim) are protesting about him seemingly leaving on vacation. It's an empty gesture so he can have his getaway without much of a fuss; I totally believe that Crowley did not ever intend to answer his phone. When he returns in book 5, he's already asking another favor of Yuu, so I get the sense he isn't really bothered by what happened. I would even say that Crowley still has several major appearances in book 5, not that he has made himself scarcer. He appears to ask the favor, appears again to evaluate their performance, and then a third time at the cultural festival to speak with the headmaster of RSA. Crowley gets plenty of screen time here, much more then in books 6 and 7. If he truly felt bad or actively wanted to avoid Yuu, he could easily just tell other students (ie Vil) or even school staff (ghosts, teachers, etc.) to relay the deal for him.

Again, I want to be clear: THIS IS NOT CROWLEY BASHING. The only thing I am expressing in this post is that while I do love this bird-brained goober and think he cares for his students, I don't believe it's done in the conventional sense you're thinking of. Crowley can be selfish and callous and throw his students into danger, and that's okay! Sometimes we want to love a useless man who's trying his best, even if his best is pretty lousy/j

Whew, that was a lot of brain dumping! I hope I properly responded to all your thoughts and that you found this read semi-entertaining~

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soggywert · 2 years

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Top Gun: Maverick hcs that are on my mind (based off of imos and me and my life) Pt 3

holy shit, we’re up to part 3! hope you’ve enjoyed the series so far! :)

- top gun to me at this point is just a gay club you gotta try really hard to get into

- mav has thunder thighs

- ^^ he has tried crushing so many fruits between his thighs throughout his life ^^

- mav doesnt have a doorknob for his bedroom; because it broke once and he keeps forgetting to repair it. he usually hangs his towel on the doorway to cushion it from any dramatic slam he does so very often (he's a theatre kid)

- slider is actually really good at art. he usually surprises everyone by suddenly drawing a very detailed landscape during a lecture. Iceman is also good at art, but he doesn't do landscapes. He draws Maverick. Doodles of Maverick. Everywhere.

-Pratically Slider and Iceman are the arty kids

- mav has some(multiple even) form(s) of anxiety disorder(s). he acts all big, but he’s usually only a little bit away from having a bit of an anxiety attack (from what Viper said, he has a confidence issue; made me think and all that :,) )

- wolfman and hollywood have the biggest bromance the world can offer. they’re the type of people to make out in front of everyone then say ‘no homo’ right after and proceed like nothing happened.

- maverick has definitely had some slip ups on the bike. he does NOT like to go to someone about it, because he likes to prove he can do it himself because he is a stubborn bastard boy.

- most people in top gun are bastard boys

- mav had a wolverine phase because i said so

- mav cant sit in a chair normally, he has to be sitting on an angle, cross legged, etc. ice is just bloody used to it by now

-Hehe mav sits on ices lap thats just one hc i go back to constantly.

- rooster and hangman usually sit together nowadays and just whisper into one anothers ear and start giggling like a bunch of school girls.

- ever since hangman became mavs son-in-law (cause hangster), hes fucking terrified of the guy and is instantly suckers up to him. rooster has never seen this before in his life but uses it to his advantage

- goose is probably the origin story for most teachers talking about students falling back on their seat because he did it once and just landed square on his ass

- ROOSTER IS A COPY AND PASTE OF GOOSE AND MAV LITERALLY HAS TO BRING HIMSELF BACK TO THE PRESENT TO REMIND HIMSELF THAT 'NO THAT ISN'T MY DEAD BEST FRIEND, ITS MY DEAD BEST FRIENDS SON' but ofc they become best friends AND father son because I said so

-Penny has a picture of rooster and hangman hanging out in her bar and printed it out for both of them to have. They both secretly have it and obsess over it

-Rooster watches crime documentaries religiously

-Mav isn't actually 5"7, he's shorter. He just wears lifts and has heels on his boots. He wears his boots everywhere to prove this. We dont know his true height, it just isn't 5"7

-Maverick gets motion sickness, so there's that danger to flying that he might accidently throw up on himself.

- everyone remember when ice was playing with the pen and doing all those tricks? well when i was rewatching a bit of pewdiepie, i saw him doing those knife tricks with the butterfly knife and all i could think was ice does that and mav is worried it is a real knife

- cyclone is actually, most probably, the biggest ally in the book because he has to deal with the two love birds, ice and mav, all the time

(Part 3/?) Hcs

I want to do one part strictly icemav or hangster so please help me choose id appreciate it :)

Start here at part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/hangman-puzzlesolver/692152151697473536?source=share

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starplusfourletters · 6 months

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(way too many) thoughts on the ahsoka show

It was fine? I was really afraid there would be something I hated. And there was nothing I hated. Sad but true that that’s the bar for new SW material atm.

I really liked ep5; ep5 will probably get a rewatch. I liked the casting. The visuals were pretty cool. Huyang was a treasure.

So we’re really going with “the Force is in everyone so everyone can use the Force if you just try hard enough”? I… kind of hate that. That somehow feels ableist of me to say. But this is a heckin fantasy universe I feel like some people Really Are That Special, y’know?

Exception that proves the rule: A Force-less Sabine is still VERY SPECIAL. In Rebels, she can hold her own in a fight just as much as Kanan or Ezra. She’s extremely competent without the Force. She’s somehow less competent in this show

She really is just the worst here in ways that I do not remember her being in Rebels. I guess arguably Ezra was the one with Terminal Protagonist Syndrome in that show? And she caught it from him before he left?

I feel like what this season WANTED to be about – and honestly it’s the lowest hanging fruit possible for a show titled “Ahsoka” – is the tension between Ahsoka’s past / her relationship with her master and her future / her relationship with her apprentice. But I don’t think they actually hit a balance there, because they just did not make her relationship with her apprentice very compelling. Three reasons for this:

1. My bias. There are very few things that start with “Ahsoka &” that would get my attention more than “Ahsoka & Anakin.” Feel like I’m not alone on that one tho

2. Established canon. It’s already an uphill battle because Ahsoka and Sabine don’t have much of a relationship in Rebels. I’m honestly not sure they ever have a conversation. I remember Sabine being like “wow she’s cool much cooler than my idiot adopted brother”, and maybe that would be a place for a mentor figure relationship to start, if Sabine weren’t already DROWNING in mentor figures. It’s not that they have nothing in common, they are just straight up not a focal point of Rebels S2.

Hey you know who canonically has latent Force abilities? And maybe needs some training? And whom Ahsoka would have a Complicated feeling about without even needing a prior established relationship? Someone with mutually incompatible daddy issues? Someone deep enough in the cultural zeitgeist she literally would need no introduction?

Yes I KNOW it’s never gonna be canon and I should just go back to AO3 but it’s RIGHT THERE HRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

3. But a lot of the issues with Ahsoka & Sabine as a focal point are of the showmakers’ own creation. You’re telling me they have a relationship now? Fine, CONVINCE me of that:

First they shoot themselves in the foot by not giving us any information about how Sabine became Ahsoka’s apprentice originally. Why did Sabine want to become a Jedi when she didn’t want that in Rebels? DID she want to become a Jedi? What did she want to learn from Ahsoka? Why did Ahsoka decide to take an apprentice at that time and not any time before or after? How did she feel about it? And why pick Sabine, who is, and this is true, Not Very Good at the Force? Who approached whom, or did they run into each other accidentally? I suppose answering some of these questions might require answering “where was Ahsoka between 3 BBY and 4 ABY?” and they aren’t ready to do that yet, but guys. GUYS. If you’re trying to tell me how Ahsoka and Sabine fix their relationship, you gotta tell me why I care first.

I know I'm harping but I really cannot emphasize enough that "fuck it I'm gonna go round two on Found Family" is an arc-defining character beat for both Ahsoka AND Sabine and the fact that the audience doesn't get to see it really makes me question whether the powers that be themselves know what it looks like

Then we get vanishingly little information about why they broke up, and all of it is provided by Huyang. And what I’m picking up from what we have is “Sabine got too Revenge Quest-y, and Ahsoka got nervous.” I don’t even know where to begin here – maybe with the fact that if Sabine decided to go on a murder rampage, she wouldn’t need the Force, lol. We know Sabine’s family died, she wanted to go to Mandalore, and Ahsoka didn’t want her to. So… did Sabine go? How did she end up back on Lothal? Who left who? Was Ahsoka worried for Sabine’s safety, or that she was getting too Dark Side-y, or both? What juicy terrible intergenerational-trauma-driven things did they say to each other when they broke up? I want to compare and contrast this with Ahsoka leaving Anakin, but I do not have the information to do so because there are zero details and the info we DO have is from ANOTHER CHARACTER. Again, if this season is about this relationship, TELL ME WHY I CARE.

To me this is the same cardinal sin as Picard S1 – implying that some really interesting stuff happened when the audience wasn’t watching, and that it explains why the characters are behaving the way they are, and then… not disclosing that information. EXCEPT PICARD GAVE US MORE THAN THIS fjdghjfghjkhkd

I was not on Tumblr when I was watching Picard S1. Probably for the best.

But okay, they have a history, the show is gonna be about them, sure let’s move on. AND THEN THEY SPEND LIKE HALF THE EPISODES NOT EVEN IN THE SAME GALAXY. The time they do spend in the same room is 75% generic sniping. As someone who came into this way more invested in the Ahsoka & Anakin relationship, ep5 was very much NOW BACK TO THE GOOD PART

And the couple of beats they do have together have me going HUH? After ep2 I spent most of a day debating myself on whether there’s a missing scene, between Sabine getting stabbed and waking up in the hospital, where we see Ahsoka actually REACT. On one hand, Ahsoka would be upset, maybe we as the audience can fill in the gaps and we don’t need to spend time on it. On the other hand, maybe we do, tho? At the time I was thinking about how we haven’t seen Ahsoka truly emotionally vulnerable since TCW with the exception of “Shroud of Darkness” and maybe “Twilight of the Apprentice.” She has a very normal range of emotions, and she expresses them in very controlled ways, and I just wanna see what she looks like when that breaks down, ya know? What’s weird to me is that in ep4 when Ahsoka thinks Sabine is dead we do get this beat; she gets Real Mad there for a second. So maybe what we’re learning is it was a double beat and they should have cut the stabbing thing entirely I mean come on they had to have known they were gonna catch flack for that. Then again, having that moment shows the audience that Ahsoka does give a shit, more than she wants to admit and more than she typically shows Sabine, which is a fun compare/contrast with Anakin, and it might have given me a better understanding of the relationship if it had come earlier.

The other big beat is Sabine deciding to help the baddies. That is just such a devastatingly terrible decision. So bad, in fact, that I feel like we’re supposed to be drawing parallels to Anakin. Their whole “screw over the galaxy to save one person” thing. Except 1) Sabine is not Anakin and 2) in order for that to be interesting, Ahsoka needs more information than I think she has. She knows Padme died around the same time Anakin totally lost his shit, and that’s about it. Which is actually a fun little thought experiment: what assumptions does Ahsoka make about the causality there? The only people who could have given her more intel are Palpatine, Obi-Wan, and Vader – unlikely. So IF the show is about the lines between Anakin and Ahsoka and Sabine, Sabine’s choice here could be central to that, and crucially to Ahsoka’s understanding of that, except it’s just for the audience I guess?

I do really like that Ahsoka’s extremely chill about what Sabine did, though. Ahsoka “Eh Shit Happens” Tano. Somehow her lesson from all this is “masters support their apprentices literally no matter what. Citation: Mine did.” That’s an unhinged take and I expect nothing less from my blorbo.

WHICH IS WHY WE SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST GOTTEN A FLASHBACK TO THE SITUATION IN WHICH AHSOKA DIDN’T SUPPORT SABINE HRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

I realize that I’m really tearing into this thing pretty much just for not being something it isn’t. Like, it’s not BAD. But maybe its weaknesses stem from not committing to being about any one thing. It’s kind of about intergenerational trauma, it’s kind of a Rebels Part Two, it’s kind of a Filoniverse installment, it’s kind of a worldbuilding exercise. And that’s not necessarily too much material for an 8-hour show. It’s more like the powers that be DECIDED that was too much material.

TLDR, footage of me after pretty much everything star wars that’s come out since the Disney acquisition:

youtube

#fringe benefit: I feel like I was actually on target with my “ahsoka and luke say way too many words” fic #weirdly validated that my post-empire ahsoka is within a standard deviation of the canon one #“she could maybe fucking say that”#ahsoka show #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka tano #sabine wren #ahsoka and sabine #long post #ahsoka and anakin #Youtube

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tiredmamaissy · 1 year

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what do you feel about yandere!neteyam? i mean i get that he’s the golden child and all but– what if he’s not so perfect? at all? like what if he’s not the ideal future leader? obsessed with younger!naive!reader, threatening all the na’vi who tried to court her, using the next olo’eyktan title to his advantage, scaring them off, never to be seen around you again?

but there was this one, really sweet boy who just wouldn’t stop, no matter what. so one day, neteyam follows him deep into the forest as the boy collects your favorite fruits to bring to you. neteyam of course notices this, and downright asks him if he’s mated to you, if he has fucked you already. he is not really mad, no, he knows the answer anyway. when the boy doesn’t answer, their conversation goes like this:

neteyam chuckles darkly, and he says, “what? you haven’t? well, you know what i’m thinking right now? i have a guess.”

and the boy can only say, “what? i – i – ” before neteyam interrupts him, looking almost excited.

“you haven’t fucked her yet, because,” he begins, closing the distance between him and the younger boy, whispering. “it’s because you have no guts.”

then, as if he’s proving a point, he stabs the boy right in the stomach with his sharpened knife, the one he made just for this occasion, the young boy’s guts spilling everywhere.

“oh,” says neteyam. “how embarrassing. there they are! they were inside you the whole time! so, you did have guts. i have never been so wrong in my whole life!”

might be too much, but i just cannot stop thinking about this. i was rewatching the walking dead, and i immediately thought about darkish!yandere!neteyam when i saw that scene (changed a few things obviously, because i had to). i really hope this doesn’t get eaten lmao, but please ignore this if you don’t feel comfortable answering !! have a great day, and congrats for 3k, you deserved it! also, can i be the 🪅 anon please? if it’s not taken of course? 🫶🏻

Firstly looooll thank you 💕🪅 (interesting emoji btw I like it)

Secondly, I got a request recently for yandere neteyam so this was something I was sort of brainstorming. You had me in the first part 😭 smiling like an idiot and then I got to the part where he pulled out the knife (that he made especially for that moment omg) and then I was like

Lmfaooo 😭 But this is a very unique, interesting idea. But I’m not entirely sure if I can get this dark 👀 but I dark!neteyam is definitely something I want to explore in the near future (especially with him being possessive/obsessive, scaring others off, ruining you so he can have you to himself, using his position as heir to olo’eyktan to his advantage)

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whenyoulosesmallmind · 9 months

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I fratelli Karamazov 1969 [EP1] - Fëdor Pavlovič's birthday and the arranging of a meeting

More than a month since the first installment, I bring you... another five minutes of Karamazovian drama.

part one | part two (you are here!) | part three

Some sparse notes before the translated transcripts start under the cut: 1. usual disclaimer that I'm not a professional, just an amateur, and am doing this out of pure insanity -- if you want to discuss translation related things or have some corrections, my inbox is open and your thoughts are welcomed <3; 2. I actually wanted to get to Smerdjakov and Ivan's scene with this bunch, but I belathedly realised that it was too much of a bulk for me to undertake at once, so I decided it would have to go with the next bulk of scenes -- it makes sense, Ivan's preparing fot Katya's soiree and next there will be Katya's soiree; 3. I've decided that, bar future requests and/or my change of mind, I'll proceed with the translation in the chronological order of scenes and when I'll be done with a whole episode I'd like to see if I can manage to submit this stuff to some of the people who've uploaded the episodes on youtube, so that non italian speaker peeps can enjoy them subbed -- or I might just upload them myself, I'll see, it's just an idea for now; 4. did I say I love the drama sets? because I do. Look how cluttered and lived in they look! 5. You might not spot him on a first watch, but Smerdjakov is present during the birthday scene! He keeps to the side in the first shot and you can only see him from the back, but he is there -- and yes, he has a bowlcut; 6. I've kept some speaking quirks in the transcripts -- the ehs, ehms, mmhs, and hics -- because I feel they help get a feeling of the character just as the bare stage directions do. Plus, in the case of Fëdor Pavlovič -- Karamazov sr. in the transcript -- really do drive home how he's trying to gaslight gatekeep girlboss his own sons; 7. the more I rewatch the more I want to bite Umberto Orsini.

A propos of actors, here are: Salvo Randone as Fëdor Pavlovič, Mark Hamill Carlo Simoni as Alëša Karamazov, Corrado Pani as Dmitrij Karamazov, Umberto Orsini as Ivan Karamazov and Antonio Salines as Smerdjakov.

Original script by Diego Fabbri, directed by Sandro Bolchi.

You can follow watch the drama here on YT or here on RaiPlay -- I suggest the latter, it's free and it's the original source, but youtube's still there if you prefer.

[INT. – AT THE KARAMAZOV’S/DINING ROOM] min. 5:54

(sounds of applause; the family is reunited around the dining table)

Karamazov sr.: Ah…! Grigorij, put it here.

(Grigorij leaves the birthday cake in front of Karamazov sr.)

Alëša: (is talking about the candles on the cake) This tallest one is the half century and these other six are the years: fifty-six!

Karamazov sr.: Fifty-six, eh? That’s right, and you think they’re too many, eh? – but you’ll see how I prove myself, look: I’ll blow them out in a single breath. (blows on the candles)

(more applause; Karamazov sr. laughs)

Karamazov sr.: (cont.) And now… I’ll have to cut this beautiful cake. Eh… it really is beautiful; and the biggest slice – and the most beautiful too, I’d say, look at this red candied fruit – the biggest slice I want to offer to my eldest son Dmitrij! Not because he’s the firstborn, no, I don’t care about these things, but to show him proof that I really don’t have anything against him… Dmitrij, I don’t have anything. I want to tell you today in the presence of your brothers; It’s so rare being together like this: one is always at the monastery, another is always traveling, already about to leave for Moscow – but I say, what is so entertaining in Moscow (laughs) that you don’t have here beside your loved ones… eh?

(to Dmitrij, sitting on his left) Here it is… (serves him the cake) here it is, and let there be peace between us, mh? Do you want to?

Dmitrij: Of course I want to – but let’s not talk about what’s dividing us, we might ruin the party and I… don’t want to. I hope you’re not thinking all will be quiet because of a slice of cake.

Karamazov sr.: (snorts) See! (slams a hand on the table) You heard him too, eh? You tell me, you all say if it’s me who doesn’t want peace… you say it.

Dmitrij: (gets up) I beg your pardon. (exits scene)

[INT. – AT THE KARAMAZOV’S/LIVING ROOM] min. 8:23

(Karamazov sr. is sitting in an armchair with Alëša on a couch by his side, Ivan is standing not too far from them. Smerdjakov is standing by a table near Karamazov sr., downs a glass of liquor – unseen by the others? – and leaves the scene)

Karamazov sr.: Now, I guarantee you – and I could show you legal papers, valuation of assets… everything, in short – that before the law I don’t owe a ruble more to your brother Dmitrij. What I owed him for his mother’s heritage was given to him, it’s on him if he dilapidated it. Hic!

Ivan: Let’s say that you’re right before the law and that no one could force you to give anything to Dmitrij… now I ask you if you really believe that you’ve given him everything in accord with the fair value of things: Dmitrij argues that you’ve robbed him like the worst of strangers, he argues that with the twenty-eight thousand rubles of the heritage you’ve gained, dealing with them, at least one hundred thousand.

Karamazov sr.: (grumbles) That was thanks to me, what does it matter? Eh! The net of the heritage was recognised as twenty-eight thousand roubles and I gave to your brother Dmitrij twenty-eight thousand roubles – not one less! My position is then clean.

Alëša: But do you think it right, father mine, to keep all the earnings made with his money?

Karamazov sr.: The law is on my side!

Alëša: Let the law be, Mitja knows too that on that side he won’t make one ruble more, and in fact he didn’t bring you before the tribunals – but it’s from the conscience, in this case, that you must let yourself be guided: Dmitrij is your son and you have to behave with him like a father… good and rightful.

Karamazov sr.: Here it is, here it is, the voice of the monastery! And I don’t want to shut my ears when my little seminarist is talking: come on, let’s hear it, what is that you have to propose.

Alëša: I don’t know, but it’s important that you don’t refuse Dmitrij’s requests as you have done until now; discuss them together and surely you will find a solution.

Karamazov sr.: Na-h! I’m telling you, my child, that the two of us – me and Dmitrij, I mean – won’t ever find any solution, because we’re cut from the same cloth, after all… we’re Karamazovs and we don’t want one to win over the other (he smiles slyly) that’s why… I forward a proposal that will surprise you.

Ivan: Let’s hear the proposal.

Karamazov sr.: I’m willing to put this matter in the hands of a righteous man that won’t be either on mine, nor on his side.

Ivan: And who would this man be, (with a harsh tone) does he exist?

Karamazov sr.: You’re wrong, Ivan, to speak like you do (gets up to get some liquor from a nearby table) – and with that tone! You’re wrong to not believe in a man’s justice anymore.

(to Alëša) What would you say, Alëša, if I’d propose as “other”, judge without appeal, your teacher?

Alëša: Father Zosima?!

Karamazov sr.: You said it. Let him decide – they say he’s righteous, no? They even say he’s a saint. Me, I don’t know, but you, my child, know him surely better than I do – me that, without being a miscreant, am still a great sinner. And so, would you like it? Father Zosima? Beh, what he’ll decide, after hearing our reasoning, will be done. I pledge to follow his verdict even if it’ll be entirely against me, I promise. Rather, do you think that your brother will accept?

Alëša: I hope so!

(to Ivan) What do you say, Ivan?

Ivan: It’s an idea…

(to Karamazov sr.) I see that you don’t lack imagination when you want to, not even generosity.

Karamazov sr.: (laughs) You’re surprised, eh? It's because you don’t know him, your old father! And you don't respect him – but I’ll show you, if we go up with Mitja to the sanctuary, I’ll show you!

Alëša: I’ll think about arranging the meeting!

Karamazov sr.: Good! You all come, eh, all of you, all of you, I want everybody to be there, you will only give me time and date and I’ll be ready like… like a humble pilgrim climbing to the sanctuary to receive grace.

(to Ivan) And you mustn’t miss it! Even if you lack faith. Eh… I know, I know that you don’t believe in God anymore… a father understands everything; but you have to be there too, as… as a witness, eh? Would you like to? Be a witness?

Ivan: I’ll be there, don’t doubt it. (exits scene)

Karamazov sr.: (to Smerdjakov, who came near him bringing a lit candle, with a complaining air) Why did you want to break this atmosphere… it was so good in the dim light, you couldn’t see the faces – and it was better – now, instead…

Smerdjakov: I lit them up because it was time, Master–

Karamazov sr.: (angry) It has to be me to say it, when it’s time! Remember it, another time.

#i will never not find funny the fact that alyosha looks so much like luke skywalker #the brothers karamazov #i fratelli karamazov #fëdor pavlovič #alyosha karamazov #mitya karamazov #dmitri karamazov #ivan karamazov #pavel smerdyakov #sam.exe

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junsei-draws-rotasu · 1 year

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MONKIE KID S1E7: Impossible Delivery (Live rewatch blog)

No comments, can't recognise the title again

Finally! I training episode!

Waoh, ok.... It's a good thing MK got powers or else he would've died from being thrown at that height

"I'm the number one focus guy!" MK, even as a neurotypical, I can see you have something needed to be diagnosed

Your not a focus guy either Wukong

Yeah! Go at him MK!

Ha! MK got him at the Buddha comment

MK's got a point there. Sometimes the same method won't work on a different person SWK

Is LMK animated in China or America? Because sometimes I wonder if this was in China, was the words in English or Chinese

Because Pigsy, SWK enchanted MK's forgetfulness. And this episode needs some sort of conflict

Music is sooooo good!

Yeeeaaah, no

Loving the resume here. And I can see the question mark on the name part

Poor guy

And, MK hold up a traffic

That little boy's voice reminds me of the gingerbread from Shrek saying "The muffin man!" Wait! I found my Leo(lmao nah)

Surprisingly, I don't know what's going to happen in this episode, and I'm already half-way through

Read this, as I'm about to turn this hilarious scene into angst!

MK has this feeling sometimes that he isn’t good enough. Good enough to have this life. He didn’t know when did this feeling started, maybe when he realized that he was abandoned by his birth parents? Or maybe it started when he got the staff. The sudden weight of the “Successor of the Great Sage Equal to Heaven and Earth” title thrown onto him might be it. Or maybe the guilt when he messed things up, like the first time he used clones or… or…!

It's half-assed done, but you can see what I'm going for! Besides, it's not like I'm the first one to give this boy some self-worth issues lol

Man, MK getting paranoid/delusional/obsessive like his clones.

!!! I didn't expect those children to be demons! I mean, it is a bit odd that the child's voice sounds that way but there are people whose voices are like that!

Oh, MK is going to deliver noddles to SWK

Very inconsistent to the fact the origin episode of LMK , they had to take a boat to go to flower fruit mountain

Easy choice, which route is much more fun?

*MK picks the scary path* Knew it *sips lemon tea*

You can't be a master of focus instantly, MK.

I'll be honest, SWK advice on 'Focus' sucks. It's a good thing that flawed characters

Man, I thought this forest was just scary faces, but apparently, it says no to me and decided to use thorny vines to prove me wrong

Ok, the voices are too much, its either MK hallucinating or SWK is doing this

Ok, what???? Did I misunderstand SWK's advice on focus? If so, I'm sorry :(

"I also summoned monster trees because I'm stressed, should I see a doctor?" YES! YOU SHOULD! Also, I'm right on the hallucination part!

I didn't know there's little hut in FFM for the monkeys

Yeah no, pretty sure he just wants noodles, MK

Oooow, but for the customer and delivery boy, cuz wrong order! Those are the worst!

AND finished!

Wow, can't beilive I didn't remember anything in this episode

#lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #SeiWatch #Monkie Kid SeiReact #Sei Talk #so I had a break during watching and I saw people shipping Tripipaka with SWK which get to to question how since I can see them father and #son duo! With the amount of scolding Wukong got the the monk I thought of it as a parent situation then again I haven't read the book(Which #I would totally do in the future to have some fun incorporations to the LMK timeline) so I can't exactly judge

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onigiri-dorkk · 2 years

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Finished this one up!! Fruits Basket will always be #1 in my heart. I’ve been rewatching Season 3 today in honor of the new Prelude moving coming out today. The feeling this series gives… it really is an indescribably feeling. Just so much depth, so much heartbreaking sadness mixed with hope for healing and newness? Every time I hear the OST I just want to cry 🥺

Fruits Basket was the first manga I had ever read. Reading it as an 11/12 year old is very different than at 27 years old, because now there's more to relate to -- but even at a young age I still felt it deeply, and there was still enough for me to understand and relate to. I didn't really realize until I was older, but Tohru's character really had a deep influence on me. I loved how she handled her hardships with grace and love. I loved how loving she was to the people around her, and how she changed each person's life because of her love.

Of course, there was a downfall to all of that -- she loved people too much to her own detriment, and would neglect herself and her needs. I related to that deeply as I got older. She's convinced that she has to be useful and happy for people in order to be loved, and in order for them to stick around her.

Fun fact, I started this blog originally as a Fruits Basket blog -- my username for almost everything has always been Onigiridorkk; onigiri referring to Tohru in her story of playing the game, Fruits Basket, where the kids call out different fruit names in order to play in the game. She was always an oddball... So the kids labeled her an Onigiri, and an onigiri has no place in a fruits basket.

Then she meets Kyo and finds a healthy love with him. Kyo keeps her balanced -- brings her back to reality and reminds her that it's okay to think of herself, to be present with herself, to not have to tend to others so much. He gives her the freedom to cry and be sad, because her entire life she was convinced that she had to only ever be happy. Kyo listens to her and sees past her happy facade, and embraces who she is outside of her need to be someone or something -- proves to her that she doesn't have to be anything else other than herself for her to be loved.

And all of a sudden, she realizes that even as an onigiri she found belonging with Kyo, with the Sohmas, and with Uo and Hana.

Ugh. All the feelings. I love this story so much :')

I have my gripes about the movie (her parents' story is controversial) but I will still watch it and enjoy that this is Tohru's origin story.

Done with my lil spiel :) This is also a redraw from a sketch I did with pencil last year! I still love that drawing and wanted to have fun recreating it digitally. There are definitely strengths to each medium!

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket fanart #furuba fanart #kyoru #kyoru fanart #tohru honda #honda tohru #Kyo sohma #sohma kyo #onigiridraws

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mc-critical · 3 years

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One of my most favourite confrontations between Mahidevran and Hürrem in the series is the one after Mahidevran sent Olga to Süleiman in episode 61. It's both fun, yet filled with meaningful character dialogue, managing to successfully deliver a thematic message that eventually finds its retroactive way, despite of it all seeming like a yet another smackdown fest by Hürrem at first.

The scene begins with their typical confrontational energy, the rivalry chemistry immediately paves its way forward. Hürrem is ready to face her for what she did and Mahidevran, while not being interested at first, goes with her flow regardless, setting the mood for what follows.

Hürrem: You've sent a concubine to his majesty.

Mahidevran: I'm replacing Valide. Pleasing his majesty is one of my duties.

Hürrem: Let God not give you other worries. Do you want to cover the lack of your femininity this way?

Mahidevran seems very engrained in her role as the head of the harem and connects it with her own desire to take revenge for her wounded pride and for all the pain they caused her. The first excuse she finds for sending Olga to SS refered to the rules and tradition that give her that right, but we know by context that there's something else going on, this was both a move driven by her vendetta and a provoked move - she decided to do this after Hü told her she's the one ruling the privy chamber and perhaps Mahidevran accepted it as a challenge to her power, because, honestly, I doubt she would've attempted such a thing if she weren't provoked like this. Hürrem, on the other hand, gives her own "interpretation" as to why Mahidevran took action. To be blunt, it sits wrong with me right from the start, because it demonstrates a huge amount of internalized mysoginy on full display and it's sad, in a way, that this is what the system encourages at the moment - you're nothing if you sleep alone in your bed, if you don't have the sultan's back. There's a glimmer of possibility Hürrem said it only to render Mahidevran vulnerable and one could understand where she comes from, since she has experienced quite a lot of similar offenses from that same person. And when a confrontation of the like occurs, her first instinct is to think of a comeback, to pull rank and highlight why she's better than her like she does in all their encounters in this batch of episodes. That hardly excuses or whitewashes this statement, though, because for a person who has been shown to fight the system and call out prejudice (even though it was mostly only she was subjected to it or it was about something that concerned her specifically), seeing that she had absorbed some of it and applies it without a second thought leaves a sour taste for me.

Mahidevran: Worry about your own problems, Hürrem. Did you really think his majesty couldn't be with other women?

Hürrem: This is impossible.

Two major beliefs of Mahidevran and Hürrem's characters come on the surface: they drive the dialogue and help the rest of the scene unfold the way it did. Mahidevran brushes off Hürrem's last statement and brings back tradition to the forefront, which begins to highlight a belief of hers that she shared with Valide, that there is a constant cycle in the harem that no one, not even Hürrem, is capable to entirely break. To Hürrem it's impossible for SS to ever have other women at this point, it's something unthinkable for her already. She feels she has fully broken that cycle.

This scene, unlike the confrontation in episode 58, has well done retroactive irony while serving the context of the episode it's in in a plausible enough way that doesn't seem showed in just for the sake of it. The context of the episode puts Hürrem in the right by showing Olga returning from SS's chambers almost immediately after Hürrem says: "This is impossible." and it's the place where this plot-line transitions to another one, leaving the rest of the confrontation to hang in the balance for a while. Maybe SS had truly given up taking other women ever since the wedding, as shown by this and SS refusing another concubine sent by Valide in the wedding episode.

However, we know that this stops being the case later on and whether it's through the decision to bring in yet another drama tool, yet another annoying stretched narrative opposition in the face of the concubine arcs, it's a fact and we could say that this scene ends up being a good enough framework to set us up for it, intentionally or not.

Mahidevran: Then why is there a concubine in his chamber?

Hürrem: What concubine? Maybe that one?

This, to me, is a demonstration of how the tables can turn in the harem at literally any moment. Meryem Uzerli's little amazing, subtle facial expression says it all. When Mahidevran asks the question, we see for a very split second that Hürrem's wondering how to refute her until the concubine appears in the heat of the argument due to sheer luck. Like, if she had already returned to her rooms before the scene occurred, it would've gone much differently! This isn't all that important here, but I love how Meryem showed a slight probability for Hürrem to lose the argument, which contrasts with all her confident remarks before and after this moment. It's just very neat stuff.

Hürrem: Many girls were introduced to his majesty. Among them, there was even a princess. Where are they now? Look around you. You will not see anyone but me.

Speaking of confident remarks, there comes another one of Hürrem's that no matter how many concubines came, they all went and now there is no one other than her. This line further sets a consistent trend of ambiguity, because she's right in the context of the episode and it encapsulates the resolution of these particular plot-lines of Hürrem and Süleiman in the season and we can get behind her words overall both in the arc and in rewatch, in spite of the retroactive irony, but she's wrong in that it's the end of her harem fights, very far from it, as season 3 and season 4 prove. She hasn't completely won yet, even though she sets the impression that she has.

What I also find interesting in this scene is the back and forth throwing of past - present - future between the two sides. They make a perfect showcase of what these characters represent, their states, their losses, their desires, their hopes, dreams and philosophies. Here, in example, Hürrem makes a reference to a part of her obstacles in the past, acknowledging that they were there regardless, but then she immediately goes back to the present with "Where are they now?". Nowhere in the scene she considered the possibilities of the future, the sheer probability that it all may change one day (as it happened, in many ways, through Firuze), focusing on the currently undeniable truth the present day presents.

That same throwing back and forth continues, but with another note which instantly places the two women against each other again:

Mahidevran: I was also loved once, Hürrem. Mustafa is the fruit of that love. Ask Gülfem Hatun if you want. She will tell you how much she suffered because of me.

Hürrem: You always tell this story.

Unlike Hürrem, who only references the past, Mahidevran laments it and takes pride in it, it being the highlight of her once beautiful life. But we know what went down afterwards, adding in the possibility that maybe, it would all be temporary and what one may have now, may change, because Mahidevran was also in Hürrem's position once. Hürrem however, calls out her fixation on the past, in a similar fashion to how she has done it before (E59: "Are you being proud of your past now? Let me remind you: You're still a slave."), what she had doesn't matter, it's the now that is important to Hürrem, which is a solid thematic note to her character arc.

Though, we have this line of dialogue in response:

We here notice that no matter how long it took for them to do it, Mahidevran and Hürrem actually had parallel arcs, in terms of letting go of the past. This line makes for such a striking revelation of Mahidevran's emotional state from her perspective that only continued what episode 46 hinted at and episode 55 directly started. (E55: "I ripped out the love I had of your father of my heart, I threw it into the sea! He doesn't matter to me anymore. Now you are the only one in my heart.") It's rather surprising that she says these words now - Mahidevran's rule of the harem is arguably her at her worst, doing what she does out of the last ounces of her wanting payback for the sad, bitter years. It's precisely what she lost that motivated her, that was a sure part of the reason she sent Olga to SS and yet, we have that honest confession, that grasp of acceptance. Mahidevran's battle with SS was lost very early on and it took her very slow and gradual development for her to accept it and by E61, she was doing the last steps to do so. She tries hard to convince Hürrem that no matter how hard she tries, there is a cycle in this harem that cannot be changed, Mahidevran has come to terms with it, so Hürrem has to do the same. In a way, she was probably trying to say that they both have been fighting a losing battle and she expresses a small amount of sympathy over it, too - she knows what it's like and it's hard, but it's like some unwritten law that it's not worth it in the end and that everyone gets affected by it, without exception. That's how she begins to look upon her present and show a hint of the future.

Out of the particular context, this line could be a very nice stronger endorsement of the franchise's themes, because, truly, no one ever got a good, triumphant, heroic ending. And it was like a cycle: everyone had to face the feelings of sorrow, grief and loss, everyone had to suffer in this time period, everyone dies. Gülfem called Hürrem's life a fairy tale in E134, but that "fairy tale" came to an end after her death. And if we leave that aside, there is hardly a breather episode even for the biggest of victories, no matter how many victories you've won, they would always "have their end", the narrative would always condemn them one way or another.

Mahidevran: One day a woman will appear and would destroy your indestructible love!

The future is finally put on the front with the scene overall and with Mahidevran herself. It's a continuation of her belief that Hürrem would be "detroned", regardless of all. Thing is, she also doesn't consider her own future, only the one of her rival's. She believes in her own victory that is opposed in the present, but would surely come in the future, a belief she holds until the end of the series. Even though I doubt the writers planned Firuze's existence right back then per say, this line sounds like such foreshadowing to her in retrospect, which makes Mahidevran both right and wrong with this quote. Firuze caused an actual continuous rift between Hürrem and Süleiman, making her doubt his love in ways she hadn't before. Nazenin comes into the picture, as well. But no one truly succeeds to properly destroy the love between Süleiman and Hürrem and they managed to prevail, despite of all the narrative opposition. She still stayed the most dear woman to SS's heart, no matter what. There is a slight possibility of Mahidevran judging the situation one hundred percent to herself here, claiming rather that the appearance of another woman would make Hürrem fall out of love with SS and destroy that, instead, just like it was with her, but since Mahidevran called the same line back during the Firuze episodes, I think she was referring to the rift Firuze would cause and how would Hü fall deeper and deeper.

Hürrem: Mahidevran, don't think of me as your equal.

This line is very telling in that Hürrem considers herself different than everyone else. It has always been a part of her character, perhaps a running reminder of her unprecedented elevation in the system she's telling us about through words. And most of the interpretations I've encountered of this line are exactly this: it is epic, badass, it is delivered in such a shading sassy way that could only be respected or applauded. However, it is just as possible for this infamous one-liner to be presented as the culmination of not only her persistent insistence to assert herself as different and special, but her continuous unwillingness to be compared to anyone else in the harem. And usually she's compared to guess who? Mahidevran. She doesn't want to even think of the possibility to be compared with her by this point (starting from E40 where after she was freed, she said: "Now I'm not equal to you." right to Mahidevran's face and continuing forward into S03 with: "I told you not to compare me to others, to Mahidevran never!" -it was something like that), but at first, which is now probably buried deep within, she feared becoming like Mahidevran. She repeated "I'm not Mahidevran!" when she was out of favor like with the Russian concubines, Mahidevran's words that she would make the same mistakes she did echoed in her head during the Isabella arc in episode 31 and earlier had a nightmare of Süleiman giving the emerald ring to Mahidevran instead of Hürrem in a completely parallel scene. (there's also the other nightmare where Mahidevran was taunting Hürrem to tell her about Leo.) Hürrem dreaded all of those things happening and tried her very best to avoid the very thoughts of it. Now, in a season nearly full of victories in her part, she had gained the belief that whatever happens, she'll always stand above the others. She wants to give off the vibe that no one would ever stop her. She has broken so many traditions and the narrative is currently rooted at her favor, all well and good, right? This line could be a mask, in a way, hiding the fear of being rejected just like the others (that doesn't completely disappear, seeing her suicide attempt in E72; also E106's menopause plot.) and striving to leave it behind her, now reaching its peak by putting not only Mahidevran, but the rest of the women into the picture, without a second of realization of the implications it causes, because well, who else was given such special attention by the Sultan? Who else was freed, who else had such a marriage, who else got out of death's door so many times, who else overcame everything, who else had a chance to "rain as fire" over all her enemies? Even though the quote applies on a much grander scale in execution, in later seasons and the way it got called back to in MCK, I feel, in this particular context, it refers to the harem and Süleiman specifically - his majesty doesn't need any other women, there is no such woman that could take away what Hürrem has and even if they stand together, they wouldn't stand a chance, because Hürrem is that massive and powerful.

The retroactive irony hits hard and here: she's right in the events of this particular episode, but the subsequent events definetly tell a different story. Hürrem's influence and power is acknowledged, especially in her last episodes, but that she's the only one capable of having such power is not necessarily true, given the existence of the SOW, some members of which reached more highs than she did, due to the evolving extent of power they could exercise in the system.

Mahidevran: Your arrogance will end you, Hürrem! One day when you're suffering in pain, I'll remind you this!

Hürrem: Mahidevran, you're not here anymore. You'll be leaving soon!

Mahidevran: You're not powerful enough for that!

The focus on the present and future is back with this quick, but substantial exchange. Mahidevran seems to count completely on what will happen in the future in the first line, while Hürrem accounts for both the present and the future, seemingly in accordance, and Mahidevran brings the confrontation back to the present, for what Hürrem talks about is currently unattainable. These lines look like a brief summary of what was established before about the beliefs of both characters: they both desire the end of one another - for Mahidevran it would happen eventually, because Hürrem would end herself in her eyes and Mahidevran would live for this moment and even witness it (and while she didn't witness it exactly, she lived and outlived them all, because there would be no death for her until they get what they deserve, a belief that carries on the strongest in season 4); for Hürrem it has already happened, but it would keep going, fueling her will to get rid of all her enemies and being in conjunction with the ongoing plot arc itself, for her attacking her enemies in all fronts in ways she hadn't before. The last line of Mahidevran's stops the dialogue between both of them for good (followed by Hürrem's smug grin), resting back on her current position, that is also how her whole set of dialogue began in the first place. Even though there was a hint of realization that she has been fighting a losing battle a while before, the part of hers that would prefer not going to the sanjack than give up now, is directly reflected on. It sets more of a parallel between how both of them are, because Mahidevran told Hürrem that arrogance would end her a few seconds ago, but now she's the one that demonstrates this same arrogance herself, starting to underestimate her own opponents yet again, simply because she rules the harem. Claiming that Hürrem doesn't have the power to send her to the sanjack by force, is true, actually, because Ibrahim interfered at the last moment, but this way Mahidevran seems to brush off Hürrem's victories completely, somehow convincing herself that she's forgotten how far has Hürrem gone and just like her rival, thinking of herself as unstoppable. (that goes on the season finale, too, where she says: "If you're powerful enough, face me by yourself!".) This attitude more or less cemented her downfall in this arc, as it would cement major flaws of Hürrem's in the future.

And then they're stopped by... Süleiman himself and I love that, because they have to stop because he comes, they have to stop because he's watching them and give him the necessary respect. Symbolically, it could be a showcase of him being the decider of everyone's fates and them having to accept his will at the end of the day.

And after he leaves, of course, Hürrem and Mahidevran prepare to carry on with their bickering, as they usually do. While that's the end of the whole confrontation, their expressions tell us it's not over yet.

It's particularly interesting, even as a confrontational scene alone: it's longer than many of the confrontational scenes between them, it speaks more volumes about the opposing sides than any other of the kind has dreamed to. While I love Mahidevran and Hürrem's chemistry, I wish there were more scenes like this one, more nuanced interactions than vitriol and constant, almost formulaic smackdowns. Because, to me, this whole confrontation, while simple at hindsight, raised the bar to what could we have had. The rivalry of the two ladies is fascinating on a thematic level and not exploring its depth further, would be a myriad of wasted opportunities.

This scene did right all you could think of: composition, soundtrack, attention to detail, chemistry, dialogue and opposing two sides on a respectful, unbiased, while narratively provoked, way. I adore the way it aged: as I said, it created a perfect blend between context of the episode/plot arc and retroactive irony and the mix of cause and effect of soapy intrigues, character exploration through lines and all the coming thematic stuff, while being filled with dynamic and fun energy. And it's absolutely sublime for it.

#i planned to only use images at first #but since Tumblr now allows only up to 10 #I had to quote most stuff #magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #mahidevran sultan #hurrem sultan

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miraclekittyandbug · 3 years

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Ten Questions With a Twist Chapter 6

I. Cannot. TELL you how sorry I am for the delay. It has been a crazy couple of days, but I’m about to post the two final chapters of Ten Questions With A Twist!

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~ Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ This Chapter ~ Chapter 7 ~

“Hey, Marinette!” Adrien called, waving frantically at the bluenette. Classes had just ended and he wanted to be sure to catch her before she left in a hurry.

Marinette turned and saw Adrien there, red in the face. “Hey Adrien. Are you okay? Did you just… run to find me?”

“Umm… How many more of those questions do you have?” Adrien deliberately didn’t answer the question, for fear of seeming like the desperate mess he had turned into. “You know, from that Black Cat guy?”

A light of comprehension shone behind her eyes, “Oh, those. Just a few. I’m really sorry if they were too invasive or anything. I can always tell him it was a bad idea.”

“No! Actually, I think it’s kind of a fun idea. I’d like to answer the rest of them for you.”

“Oh! That would be great!” She put her backpack on the ground and started digging through it to find the list, a formality at this point, as she had already memorized the questions.

“Why don’t we hang out for a bit? We could go back to your place and answer these questions. Maybe play some Mecha Strike? That good luck charm you gave me might even help me beat you.” Adrien wiggled his eyebrows and Marinette blushed, but laughed.

“I’m not sure it’s that lucky, but it sounds like fun.” Her eyes widened, “Actually, could you give me just a little bit of time to clean up my room first? It’s in a pretty embarrassing state right now. Meet me at the bakery in twenty minutes?”

“Sounds good P- pal.” Adrien caught himself. He was about to call her Princess, but that would give him away. He had a challenge to win, after all.

It took about fifteen minutes to convince the Gorilla to cover for him, not too difficult to do considering he was supposed to take Adrien to his Chinese lessons directly after school. Adrien simply reminded the Gorilla that a conversation in Chinese with Mrs. Dupain-Cheng was a very practical application of the information he already knew so well. They agreed that he would pick him up from the Dupain-Cheng bakery in about two hours.

Adrien made his way, slowly, to the bakery.

The bakery, being right across the street from the school, and having such delicious treats, was very busy. Adrien waited dutifully in line and when he got to the counter, Sabine greeted him warmly. He responded in Chinese, explaining that the only way he had talked his bodyguard into letting him come was to promise to practice his Chinese. Sabine smiled and ushered him to the back. She pointed him to the staircase and told him, in Chinese, to follow it until he reached Marinette’s room, and that there would be snacks up there for the both of them.

Now, at this point, Adrien knew for a fact he was in love with this girl. But if there had been even a sliver of doubt in his mind, it all evaporated when he lifted the hatch to Marinette’s room.

She must have done a wonderful job cleaning, because apart from some half-finished sewing on a desk and a few balls of yarn on her bed, Marinette’s room was spotless. But that wasn’t what caught his eye. Leaning over her computer, attempting to plug in the game console, Marinette was humming contentedly with a cookie in her mouth. The picture of it all was so endearing, Adrien hated to alert her to his presence. However, he thought it might be creepy if she were to turn around and find him staring, so he cleared his throat.

Marinette made a noise that could only be described as a squeak, and bit down on the cookie, causing a portion of it to fall to the floor. “Adrien! I didn’t see you there! Come on in, I’ve got snacks!”

He climbed the final steps into her room and reached for a cookie, “Don’t mind if I do.”

Once Marinette had plugged in the console correctly and booted up the game, they chose their players and began. It didn’t take long for Marinette to secure a lead, so Adrien thought a distraction was in order.

“So what about those questions?”

Marinette was silent for a moment before speaking, “I know you’re just trying to distract me. But to prove a point, I will ask these questions AND win this round at the same time. Just watch.”

“Jeez, B- Marinette, that’s pretty harsh,” he said, playfully. He was learning that it would be very difficult to refrain from calling her by her nicknames. “Won’t you go easy on me? Please?” Adrien made puppy dog eyes at the screen, leaning forward so that she would hopefully catch a glimpse of his pouty lips and fast blinking eyes. Not two minutes later, he flung himself back into his seat, having been defeated.

Marinette placed her controller onto the desk in front of them, flashing him a sympathetic look. “And I wasn’t even distracted with those questions.”

“Alright,” Adrien relented, “What are they?”

“Okay, well, the question that seemed to make you sick might not be a good one to start off with…”

Adrien remembered his odd behavior earlier, and how stupid he had been to not see it sooner. “No, really, I’m fine. Shoot!”

“Okay, what’s your dream job?”

Adrien pretended to think, as if this question were a surprise to him, “I’d like to be a stay at home dad one day.”

“That’s so sweet! I’d like to be a designer one day. Have my own fashion line, company, that kind of thing. What’s your favorite movie?”

“The Princess Bride.”

“Isn’t that a bit of a chick flick?”

“There’s sword fighting and pirates and impossible odds! And anyway, what’s wrong with chick flicks?”

Marinette quickly defended herself, “There’s nothing wrong with chick flicks, I guess I pegged you as more of a studio Ghibli guy.”

Goodness, it had been a year or two since his last binge of those movies, “Oh, studio Ghibli is amazing! But still, there’s nothing like Wesley rolling down a hill screaming ‘As you wish’ only for Buttercup to fling herself down with him.”

Marinette started giggling, “I totally forgot about that part! Oh, I’ll have to rewatch that movie sometime soon. Favorite dessert?”

“Easy, the macarons from your parents bakery.”

“Really?” Marinette responded, “I’m flattered! What flavor?”

“That passionfruit one is my all time favorite, but that’s only seasonal. I really like any of the fruit ones.”

“Good to know! The other questions are pretty basic. What’s your name?”

Adrien put on a face and spoke in an accent, “My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.”

Marinette laughed and Adrien decided it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

“What school do you go to?”

“Hogwarts.”

She rolled her eyes, “No, seriously.”

Adrien looked at her, eyes calculating, “Is there a reason you want this guy to know all the answers?”

“No!” she crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair, “We just have to give the guy a chance. And anything he doesn’t guess correctly, I don’t have to tell him. So it’s not like I’m giving him all your information or anything.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Adrien said, leaning forward. Marinette blushed as if she knew exactly what he meant, but he continued anyway. “You like this guy, don’t you? You want him to guess correctly so you can go on a date with him!”

“What?!” Marinette acted repulsed by this, but her blush only deepened, “No way! He’s just a friend!”

“But you want to give him a chance.”

She seemed to hold her breath, making her face even redder, but then released and deflated, placing her head in her hands with her elbows on her knees. “I don’t know. Honestly, I probably like this guy a lot, I’ve just been so caught up on… this other guy for so long. It’s so confusing.”

“Have you thought about meeting him? You know, in person?”

Marinette lifted her head and looked at the ceiling instead, “Yeah. I have. I mean, this black cat guy is my best friend. We tell each other everything. He’s the only one who knows about this big part of my life and I rely on him for so much. He’s so sweet and really understanding about me wanting to keep our real names out of it.”

Adrien winced, but Marinette didn’t notice. He felt awful. She had always been so adamant that they not know each other’s identities. But he just happened upon it! One coincidence led to another, led to some questions, led to a point where he couldn’t turn back. “So you don’t want him to know who you are?”

“Well I wouldn’t say that.” Her hand went to the back of her neck and she rubbed it anxiously. “If we somehow found out, I’d honestly be thrilled. I even went so far as to ask Master F- forum.” Marinette blanched, looking Adrien directly in the eye, “Our forum master. The guy that runs the forum that we chat on. I went so far as to ask him about meeting in real life and he just smiled. He said ‘The wheels of life are in motion, but you cannot determine the speed’. I have no idea what that means, but he’s notoriously cryptic.” Adrien was going to say something, but Marinette was on a rant, so he sat back and listened. “And it’s like, he’s wanted to know for a really long time. Ever since the beginning. But I was so cautious, I said no. I thought it would be dangerous for us and our families.”

“And you need to be careful, with strangers on the internet.”

“Exactly! Strangers on the internet. But then, almost immediately, I trusted him. Right away, we were inseparable. And now that I want to know, I don’t know what to do.”

Adrien couldn’t help the smile that plastered itself on his face. “Well, Marinette, I’m sure things will work out. And you never know! Maybe he’s a really good guesser.”

“Maybe.” She said, obviously glad to have gotten some things off her chest. “In the meantime, let’s sneak down and grab you a couple of macarons.”

~ Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ Chapter 4 ~ Chapter 5 ~ This Chapter ~ Chapter 7 ~

Next chapter should be up by the time you read this far!

#miraculous ladybug fic #miraculous fic #adrienette #ladrien #marichat #ladynoir

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riverdale-retread · 3 years

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Riverdale S3 E21 (Spoilers!)

- Help me Jughead Jones, You’re my only hope. I mean, honestly, this is me, about this show and this writing project. So this makes me = Ethel. Great. The rewatch has changed a lot of things: I hate Betty and this makes me very unhappy, because I want to love Betty and at one point I did. I want to give Veronica a copy of Oscar Wilde’s De Profundis to be like, This is how much a bad boyfriend can fuck up your whole life girl, so get a grip. Archie is just a scary white man who wants to hurt people.

Jughead Jones Investigates, Solves, and Is Kind

- Jughead and Curdle Jr.: Jughead is asking the coroner how Hal Cooper could’ve faked his own death and he’s the one asking questions, with Sheriff FP off to the side. It’s truly amazing how Jughead looks to his dad like, “This is important to the case!” in reaction to what Curdle says, and FP just wants to vomit and cry and get out of there asap.

- Jughead is so irritated every time he needs to talk to Doctor Curdle Junior and I wish he was nicer about it. Because Curdle Jr loves talking to Jughead. I can see him happy-creepy humming to himself as he got ready to make a presentation to the only person who ever listens to him carefully in his whole life. He got the hand out of the fridge, laid it just so on the table, covered it with a perfectly ironed sheet, then does a dramatic reveal, folding down the sheet into a neat triangle with the most precise hands. And I just realized that Dr Curdle Junior is really very tall, like Sweet Pea level of tall, at least two heads bigger than Jughead.

- Jughead and Louie: Jughead gets information that it was Ricky acting as messenger for Gargoyle King/ Black Hood (he thinks, but it’s actually Ethel) on prom night, gives Louie $20 and then steals his apple. Jughead Jones eats fruit? Also Jughead tosses it nonchalantly as he saunters off.

- Jughead and Jellybean talk about Ricky. Jellybean has the most adorable braids, which start from up behind her ears. She’s a kid who can fix cars so maybe she did it herself, but actually I think Glady used to do JB’s hair and now Jughead does them. Prove me wrong but until you do, Ambidextrous Jughead is the one braiding his sister’s hair.

- Jughead runs through Fox Forest looking for Ricky looking like Peter Pan That Fucks and I love it. He’s so lanky and he’s established as being a really fast runner when needs be (why was he not on the long distance running team?)

- Jughead has the highest EQ of anyone in the main four (Highest IQ I think still belongs to Veronica) because when he finds Ricky about to drink the poison he treats him gently, with empathy and pity and kindness, using the same supersoft tone of voice he uses with Jellybean.

- ETHEL IS HERE. I’m sad she only claims ‘Princess’ for herself and not Queen.

- So Jughead has been chased through the woods by insane boys who would’ve stabbed him to death for fun, and it’s all because of Ethel, and Ethel put Betty in danger. So he does a human thing of almost losing his temper, almost getting his Serpent King shout on, and looks that feral mean way that he did when he was threatening Joaquin. Then Ethel, sad sack & never-been-kissed Ethel, weeps and says she “loves” the “beautiful” G-King and Jughead’s innate abnormal capacity for forgiveness kicks right in.

Jughead understands loving people who hurt him (because everyone that he loves hurts him - FP, Gladys, and of course, later, Barchie).

- Ethel and Jughead get lured (?) to the junkyard, to the Gargoyle bus, find the missing kid, and then have a scary encounter with the Black Hood. In a review of Casablanca someone said that the reason everyone thought that Humphrey Bogart was so hot in that movie was because Ingrid Bergman melted every time she looked at him. Hal Cooper is not scary, and because I know that’s Hal in there, the Black Hood is not scary, but in this bus scene, watching Ethel and Jughead both become so overwhelmed with terror they close their eyes and stop breathing was extremely affecting and I was scared of Hal Cooper for the first time, because they were so scared.

- Jughead understands how touch-starved Ethel is as well. He gives her a comforting hand on her shoulder, and then accepts her rather terrifying lunging hug. She has weird sexual predator tendencies, so he could’ve made a no thank you rejection very clear when she starts to tell him, “You deserve a reward for your bravery” but instead he just looks at her with eyes full of sympathy. I think Jughead was won over by Ethel’s genuine concern for all those little filthy savage kids, her being aware of their ages, and her wondering where they are now that they’ve been brought in from the woods and so on.

- The show is so mean to Ethel. Her brooch is a white elephant = a possession that is useless or troublesome, especially one that is expensive to maintain or difficult to dispose of (Oxford Dictionary). You could’ve and should’ve done more things with Ethel, Show, and I am not amused by this visual pun.

- Jughead digs up Jason’s grave and the coffin is empty and because I know that poor semi-embalmed not-quite mummy Jason is going to be hauled around the house in S4 it was inadvertently funny.

Veronica Defeats Hiram with Reggie & Mary Andrews’s Help and Then Abuses Reggie (again)

- Veronica fully trusted that her dad really handed over the deeds and never got a second opinion from Attorney McCoy to ensure that things were on the up and up. Hiram is not wrong to smirk at her, that this is a lesson learned. Get your own lawyer, always.

- FBI Agent Adelia is brought in by Mary. They’re girlfriends or ex girlfriends, right? Also the FBI is just a pile of poopyheads because they can’t make anything stick, but at the end of this episode apparently they at least shoved Hiram in jail.

- Hiram’s plan to buy the town of Riverdale is finally revealed to Veronica. OK so, his habit of buying towns and decimating them was something Jughead found out early in this season, but I guess he didn’t have time to write an expose or anything about this, or tell Veronica. How much could have been achieved if Jughead and Veronica had worked together as a team? He’s an investigator and she’s a person who makes things happen. Instead, Veronica (because doormat and therefore is trying to make him a Protagonist again) brings in Archie, and everything involving Archie has to be dumbed down to inflicting grievous bodily harm through violence.

- Hiram v Archie Boxing Match. Hiram cheats, and Archie loses his temper and they take gloves off, and then Archie gets overpowered and almost murdered. So Archie and Hiram are not that different. This is a very ugly, brutal fight, and none of the grace and athleticism of Archie’s other action sequences is involved in this one. Mary Andrews, the most ineffectual mother of all time, asks her son Are you ok? when she’s witnessed this entire fight, where he probably would have died.

- REGGIE IS HERE. Veronica recruits Reggie as ‘the best con man’ for a job. Not, you know, my most loyal friend, the only boy I’ve ever known who actually helped me in a project that was important to me, the only boy I’ve kissed who actually sacrificed something for me. Because Veggie is an abusive relationship, in essence. Reggie is hopeful - he uses words like ‘mixing business with pleasure’ and ‘how can I resist’? At the Speakeasy, later, when thanked by Veronica (so, you know, V at least has better manners than B), Reggie is a gentleman and only asks in return, “How are you holding up?” Oh the Big Bruiser Ride or Die of my Dreams, Reggie Mantle. Reggie is not a petty bitch at all and he still has affection for Archie because he treats it as an emergency that Hiram may kill Archie. And the he gets fucking cockblocked by Archie!

We don’t even get the scene (the one that Sweet Pea at least got with Josie) where Reggie gets to say “I want to be with you no matter what” in such a way that Veronica replies “I want to be with you too” and they got nice music to go with their two pretty faces looking at each other. Show, you robbed me. Archie asks IF THAT’S TRUE while Reggie is standing right there. Low blow, you red-headed mofo. Reggie is a bully but he wasn’t ever a rapist. What do mean, Is that true? But before I had enough time to get properly worked up about that, Veronica says “That is what I said” because Veggie is an abusive relationship to Reggie. Goddamn it. And then she invites Archie to stay and Archie I think does the only truly intelligent thing I’ve ever seen him do and leaves. Veronica, what.

- Veronica gets to say I WON to Hiram so yay, I guess. Hooray for you.

- By the way - Veronica finally calls FP “Sheriff Jones!!” This is the first time anyone has ever done that and she does it to look right in front of the captive audience of her guests and she’s talking to the FBI.

Betty Fails At Everything At The Farm

- Alice is off her rocker completely. So, assuming the whole bit with the serial killer gene is true, this is what she is saying happened:

Betty fell off the bike which lead to a concussion (was she not wearing a helmet?) --> they did a full DNA work up on a concussed 8 year old (for shits and giggles, and also because this is super affordable in Riverdale where Fred was almost completely bankrupted from his gunshot-wound surgery) ---> found a serial killer gene --> nobody told her about or did anything to help for 10 years --> but now Alice thinks that her ripped fuckboi guidance counselor at the cult can ‘fix’ a DNA code and heal her daughter’s... DNA.

- Betty’s response is How.... how... if.... if... before she can start speaking and who says Riverdale doesn’t have realistic dialogue?

- Edgar is also a crystal bitch.

- POLLY IS HERE. Oh that’s right, Polly knows that Edgar is a sick manipulative bastard and willingly participates in trying to brainwash Betty, which means she’s been doing this for him for other Farmies when they needed a young blonde body. I hope Polly is fucking dead in S5 and mothmen or the trashbag trucker or whoever fucked her up before she died. (And here we go with Riverdale making me wish violence on women - what is happening to me?)

- Betty actually says to Jughead “I thought the Farm would keep me safe from the Black Hood” like he didn’t just offer all of the Serpents as her personal bodyguards last episode. (But! Bright point maybe? Does this mean Betty has finally relinquished her unearned position as ‘Serpent Queen’? Please?)

- I am gratified to see Jughead scowl irritably with his whole face while on the phone with her, which is something he almost never does when he’s looking at her because, you know, Bughead. Oh but immediate annoyance: She speaks as Gryphon Queen to Jughead, calling him Hellcaster, and it’s supposed to be Bughead Fizz, but it’s not, not to me. It’s just Betty always being like, But I Am Most Important Though. I’m irked that after being so superior about G&G she just does this now that it’s all about her.

- Breakfast at the Farmies. The food and decor of this place looks amazing, like a high end resort, and then realized, oh this is from Betty’s Blossom inheritance!

- Betty Assaults Kevin. Betty straight up lifts up Kevin’s shirt with no warning in public. Disrobes him without consent. The music goes Dun Dun and I think it’s supposed to be about the involuntary organ donor scar that he has but actually the dire thing is Betty doing that. I’m calling it - Betty is a homophobe, deep in her heart, and her contempt for Kevin as a person is bottomless. Kevin has much more restraint than I have, because he has the reflexes to stand up immediately but he doesn’t punch Betty in the face. Classy Kevin says “Dont Ever Do That Again, Betty” and Betty has absolutely no idea she’s done anything wrong, and then when an appalled Cheryl fully turns her back on her (go Cheryl) Betty looks at Choni so confused, so unknowing, like, Why can’t everyone see that I am right? Betty’s obtuseness is actually what drives Kevin further into cult insanity.

-Edgar Evernever missed a calling as a theater director. He is so good at setting this stuff up.

- Betty makes me really want to learn how to pick a lock, though nowadays many door locks are electronic gizmos powered by little computers.

- Betty fighting back, not crumbling in tears, when she’s in the straps and it’s clear Edgar is going to do something terrible is heart-tearing. Her fighting to the last second, resisting anesthesia by screaming, by threatening Edgar back, her absolute faith that Jughead (and his dad) will come for her, are all so affecting. This is the Betty Cooper I remember loving, the brave valiant girl who never backs down.

- VERY important tiny Choni subplot: Cheryl rescues Toni, and I guess you know, Betty comes to get Kevin and Fangs because she assumes she’s forgiven. Cheryl frees Toni and also SHE HAS HAND TO HAND COMBAT SKILLS. Toni hears Cheryl’s heartrending screams but keeps running because that’s the smarter thing to do.

Notes on Fashion

- I like Jughead with all the rings, but I do want some sort of moment where Betty asks him about the rings or, you know, we see him take off the rings or put them back on before or after Bughead ahem-ahems (Oh wait, probably fanfic will do me. NVM).

- Hermione is yelling at Hiram wearing the most gorgeous black dress with flower prints (Dolce? Valentino??) and Hiram’s tie cannot compete.

#justice for reggie mantle #where the hell is sweet pea #reggie was wronged #justice for ethel muggs #at this point i feel like jughead should give ethel a sympathy fuck #don't @ me people #ethel muggs #reggie mantle #jughead jones #veronica lodge #betty cooper #dr curdle jr #riverdale #riverdale recap #riverdale episode recap

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fluffyglass · 3 years

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THE MR. RUDE APOLOGISM MASTERPOST

you may be asking "Oh dear god what has Finn gotten up to this time?" well, that my friend, is a very valid question! The answer to which is as follows: He's rewatched every single TMMS segment with Mr. Rude in it to prove that he's done nothing wrong!

After many many hours of rewatching, I've come to some conclusions on the depressed tomato man. I'll give a quick rundown here, then throw my episode by episode analysis under the cut.

Season 1

Mr. Rude is in 30 episodes in Season 1.

In only 3 of these episodes does he do anything wrong.

In 4 of the episodes where he's innocent, Mr. Fussy yells at him for no reason.

Season 2

Mr. Rude is in 30 episodes in Season 2.

In only 6 of these episodes does he do anything wrong.

In 1 of the episodes where he's innocent, as well as one where he did do something wrong, Mr. Fussy yells at him for no reason.

Conclusions

In total, Mr. Rude only actually did anything wrong in 9 out of the 60 segments he's in, which is 15%. That's less than a quarter of the time. Even counting the three episodes I was unsure about, that's only 12/60. 20%. Still less than a quarter.

Why have I been bringing up Mr. Fussy? Because this experience genuinely made me not like him anymore. In only one out of Mr. Fussy's 7 appearances with Mr. Rude does he not yell at him, and in five of the times he does - it was completely unjustified.

Now, onto the episode by episode section!

Ah, you wanna see my episode by episode analysis? Well, I'll give you a quick color legend first.

Yellow - Mr. Rude does nothing wrong

Red - Mr. Rude does something wrong

Blue - Mr. Fussy yells at Mr. Rude for no reason

Pink - I have no idea what to put for this one lmao

Also, there's a ton of cursing in here because I wrote these notes as I went along and I don't feel like editing them to be more professional. You get what you get when it comes to Mr. Rude apologism.

SEASON 1

Flying - He does nothing wrong, he just asked Mr. Grumpy to do his fucking job. Though, I will admit, he was a dick about it.

Music - He does nothing wrong, Miss Naughty is a fucking bitch and Mr. Fussy targeted him for no got damn reason even though he has fucking ears and should have heard Miss Naughty going off on her fucking cymbals. Miss Naughty also tried to poison him so

Farm - He does nothing wrong, those bitch ass crows broke his fucking robot I cant believe this.

Booboos - He does nothing wrong, he literally just wants some decent service while he is in the fucking hospital and Mr. Scatterbrain is a fucking moron about it

Mall - He's barely in it and I will admit he is a bit of an asshole in this one but he doesn't do anything explicitly wrong

Birthday - He does nothing wrong, he just wants to buy a birthday present for his homie Mr. Grumpy. In fact, he shows that he cares about his friend because he knows what he would want (and gets something he wouldnt like, presumably as a joke). Hes a caring friend but also a troll.

Superstore - He does nothing wrong, he just wants to return his shitty toaster. It ends up well for everyone involved :)

Books - He does nothing wrong, he is literally just neurodivergent and cannot read social situations

Camping - He does nothing wrong, he tried to warn everyone that they were going the wrong way, and then called out Miss Whoops on her fucking bullshit and putting everyone in danger. He then proceeded to fucking die. Miss Daredevil doesnt even give a shit about two of the raft riders fucking dying what the fuck.

Paint - He does nothing wrong, he just wants to finish his painting commission.

Jobs - This is the one I time I'll admit he does something really wrong. He commits multiple driving related crimes, as well as throwing his sandwich at Mr. Quiet, splashing Mr. Nosey and Mr. Small, and taking advantage of Mr. Scatterbrain's stupidity. He also crumpled up Mr. Scatterbrain's drawing of a hamster.

Trains - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Fussy's a bitch ass motherfucker, and he did more good than bad because he rescued Mr. Messy at the end.

Fair - He does nothing wrong, he got a fucking pie yeeted at him of course he wouldn't like it. He does put the pie in Mr. Scatterbrain's face though but he already got it in his face so it's just even now. He then proceeds to be pelted with pies. But thankfully it seems like they're both having fun by the end.

Movies - Yeah he's a bit of an asshole in this one. He puts too much cheese on Mr. Happy's nachos (and then throws them at him). He does get his karma though cause he gets fucking trapped in the popcorn machine someone please save him oh my god.

Dance - He does nothing wrong, he just has taste.

Inventions - He does nothing wrong, Miss Chatterbox just doesnt like him for the way he is which is super fucked up of her. What the fuck, man. He accepts Miss Chatterbox's invention regardless. He then proceeds to be abused by everyone around him. Hes totally justified in being mean at the end.

Amusement Park - Okay yeah he was an asshole in this one, cause he was rude to Miss Calamity about her supposed grooming habits. However, he was also abused a lot during multiple of the bumpers, which I guess counts as karma.

Adventure - He literally doesnt even do anything in this one

Rainy Day - Dude, his entire fucking family died. Give him a break.

Games - He did nothing wrong, he won the fucking game but Mr. Scatterbrain took the credit what the fuck he only had 3 POINTS MR RUDE HAD 4 MR. HAPPY YOU DUMB YELLOW FUCK LEARN HOW TO COUNT

Restaurants - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Fussy is so fucking mean to him I will never get over this he deserves so much better what the fuck

Cars - he's just vibin man

Canned Goods - He does nothing wrong, he just ate some beans man

Collecting - he's barely in it and just kinda vibes

Full Moon - He does nothing wrong, he legit just got kidnapped by some fucking aliens with his alien husband

Heatwave - He does nothing wrong, 6 gay men just casually committed acts of Home Invasion and are going to be arrested for their crimes against him.

Sleep - He does nothing wrong, and I doubt anyone would have even noticed he was asleep if Miss Chatterbox kept her fucking mouth shut. He cant control what hes doing if hes fucking asleep. Even after all that he still clapped for Mr. Fussy, who hates him, at the end. What a champ.

Carwash - He does nothing wrong, Miss Calamity technically fucking kidnapped him what the fuck.

Lawns - He does nothing wrong, he didn't want to take his lawn to begin with and then got his lawn ruined for literally no reason, even after warning Me. Nosey and Mr. Small that their invention was gonna explode. He even gave Miss Chatterbox the joy in knowing she "won".

Parade - He does nothing wrong, he legit just made a float and Mr. Fussy fucking bullied him for it. What the fuck.

SEASON 2

Clean Teeth - Yeah hes a bitch in this one but Mr. Fussy was also a bitch so it evens out.

Airports - He does nothing wrong, he just wanted to go on his flight. Of anything, Miss Scary was more rude than he was.

Game Shows - He does nothing wrong like. Genuinely nothing, and then gets physically assaulted.

Hats - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Grumpy's just a fucking bitch and took credit for both his and Mr. Tickles hats. What the fuck, man.

Robots - He does nothing wrong, he legit just got his baguette burnt wtf

Up and Down - He's fine for the first bit but I will admit hes an asshole in the second one

Gifts - He does nothing wrong, he's just trying to keep Mr. Tickle from fucking assaulting people. Then his entire store is destroyed for no reason.

Sun and Moon - He does nothing wrong, he barely did anything at all

Telephone - I refused to watch this one I just know hes a bitch in it

Washing and Drying - He does nothing wrong, he just wanted his laundry done and he got assaulted at the end. Why is this a trend.

Fruit - He stole Miss Sunshines fucking fruit and then proceeded to endanger everyone around him by driving recklessly. What the fuck, man.

Radio - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Scatterbrain is just a moron, and Miss Whoops is a dumbass.

Supermarket - ???

Cinema - He doesn't do anything wrong, and he looks very nice in his new hat.

Post Office - He doesn't do anything wrong, hes trying his best okay (he also gets covered in stamps at the end)

Pets - He doesn't do anything wrong, he doesn't do anything at all

Dance Dance Dance - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Fussy's a fucking bitch

Trees - He doesn't do anything wrong, someone free him

Library - He didnt even do anything man

Pirates - He doesn't do anything wrong, in fact he is the first to jump in and protect his crewmates from the aliens. He also saves the entire space crew in the end.

Trains and Planes - He doesn't do anything wrong, he barely does anything to begin with

Out to Sea - He doesn't do anything wrong, it makes sense for him to act in his own self interest because he was stuck on a deserted island with those three morons for 30 fucking days. He didn't intend to take the boat, because the tide rolled him out. He is now inevitably going to die.

Next Door - Yeah hes a bitch in this one, but he didnt deserve to get his fucking car crushed.

Lunch - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Stubborn drew first blood.

Machines - This is a weird one. Is he really in the wrong for wanting to go home? I mean, it's safe to assume Miss Giggles is fucking dead if she was taken by a dinosaur. He even vows not to doubt Miss Daredevil at the end and is happy to see Miss Giggles okay

Fairies and Gnomes - even though he thinks it's silly that Mr. Nervous is scared of a garden gnome, he still "arrests" it to make him happy :)

Home Improvement - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Stubborn is just a moron.

Birds - He doesn't do anything wrong, he was even nice enough to invite Mr. Nervous along for the birdwatching trip. He's totally justified in not giving a shit about Mr. Fussy because Mr. Fussy has been nothing bit horrible to him the entire show.

Parks - He does nothing wrong he just wanted a burger

Surprises - Refused to watch this one again, I just know hes a bitch

Wow, that's a lot. Anyways, as a proud Mr. Rude apologist, I conclude that he's an innocent man and doesn't deserve the shit he gets. I can get taking his drivers license though that man cannot drive for the life of him

#mr men #the mr men show #mr men and little miss #mr rude #anyways #mr fussy SUCKS #I LEGIT PULLED A REVERSE MR STUBBORN WITH HIM #HE USED TO BE MY FAVORITE BUT I JUST #CANT STAND HIM ANYMORE #fuck mr fussy #all my homies hate mr fussy

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ecoamerica · 24 days

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dangan-meme-palace · 4 years

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Analysis – Kokichi's Plan in Chapter 4

The concept, the execution, and the failure.

Before we start, it's my personal recommendation that you read this analysis before rewatching the chapter 4 trial, and then reading it as you rewatch it. Unfortunately, due to tumblr limiting the number of pictures I can put in a single post, I've decided to refrain from adding screenshots as I just have too many I want to add. However, my points are evidenced by the trial itself if you watch carefully with them in mind, and so I'm encouraging you to do so. Please, please do so.

Concept

By my analysis, Kokichi's plan was to implicate himself as the culprit and for Gonta to get away with the murder in order to mercy kill the rest of the students and save them from despair.

Kokichi mentions this much before and after the trial, most people remembering the moments after and not the moments before; probably because between subtle admittance and loud screaming and crying, you'll remember the screaming and crying more. This analysis is based on the fact that his words pre- and post-trial are true, which is backed by several canon instances and also it just makes sense.

Execution

Now! This plan required a few things to work:

It required Kokichi to make everyone hate and be suspicious of him

It required Gonta to cooperate

It required Kokichi to be able to get around Shuichi's deductive reasoning in some way

It required a majority of the class to vote for Kokichi

If that wording seems specific, it's because it is!

I'll be talking about each major component of this plan and how each factor (almost) worked together to create a perfect storm + when, how, and why this plan failed despite quite frankly being a fantastic display of Kokichi's talent as the Ultimate (Supreme) Leader.

The 1st component is pretty much accomplished before the chapter even begins, he is a self-proclaimed liar that annoys people regularly after all, but in order for the 3rd and 4th components to really work he needed to sink his reputation even lower. He does this in a multitude of ways both before and during the trial: making sinister faces or looking nervous at appropriate times, antagonizing everyone (but most importantly Gonta and Kaito), and just in general being a lying nuisance that no one really wants to listen to.

The 2nd component was accomplished inside the Virtual World... and then immediately undone as soon as Gonta logged out due to a couple of crossed wires. The fact that Gonta forgot remaining undiscovered by everyone (including Kokichi) until two-thirds of the way through the trial is important to how the plan failed and adds perspective in areas, but I'll hold off on explaining why until it's time to talk about it in-depth. Make a mental note and let's move on.

The 3rd component explains why during the investigation every single surviving member of the cast told Shuichi that they trusted him but then when we get really into the trial we start seeing them doubt him immensely, Kaito being among the people that doubted Shuichi the most. Why is that? How did everyone go from relying on Shuichi to thinking for themselves and doubting his reasoning, and what does it have to do with Kokichi? It's simple: Kokichi lead the others into doing so.

We see this a lot during the investigation period, or at least the prep work of it. Kokichi constantly encourages the others to say things like: "We can't leave this all to Shuichi, we have to work hard too!" by telling them that they should all rely on Shuichi and to never doubt his judgment. Kokichi was using his bad reputation to make them come to a conclusion that is the exact opposite of what he said. More on that a little later as well!

Kokichi knows his reputation, he's the one that made it that way after all, and frequently you will see him use it to his advantage. Whether he's trying to cover up an emotional outburst or he's trying to make someone admit something, you will often see him use his reputation as someone untrustworthy to lead conversations in subtle ways.

I use the word "lead" with great emphasis as that is his Talent. He is the very best of the best at leading people; The Ultimate (Supreme) Leader. When he wants someone to think a certain way or do something they end up doing it whether they realize it or not, because he is extremely talented in his field. I cannot stress enough how good this man is at leading conversations and people into going where he wants them to go. Oh shit back to the point–!

During this time we also see Kokichi acting strange, so strange that Shuichi mentions it four times in his internal dialogue. Following him, being helpful, offering advice and hints... it seems nice until you realize his intention wasn't to become good partners with Shuichi, but to instead ruin Shuichi's reputation with the others by having them associate Shuichi with Kokichi, who they already hate thanks to component 1.

During the trial you'll see this subtle manipulation working as soon as Kokichi starts calling Shuichi partner and making Shuichi agree with his points, putting on a false show of partnership. To the others it seemed that Shuichi was picking Kokichi over all of his friends even when Shuichi himself tries to explain otherwise, and this is absolutely no coincidence.

Kaito is especially affected by this because Kaito and Kokichi are sworn enemies, and in Kaito's mind, Shuichi just picked his enemy over him. It really hurt him to be "betrayed" like this, causing Kaito to turn his back on Shuichi despite the numerous promises that he would never do such a thing he made prior to this trial. Kokichi really focuses on breaking their friendship too, interrupting Shuichi multiple times when he tries to tell Kaito that it's not personal and making sinister faces while saying that Shuichi is his partner now, taunting and gloating to Kaito's face about the loss of his sidekick. Breaking them apart was actually key to how Kokichi used Kaito's influence to his advantage in component 4.

Focus on Kaito aside, everyone else also refuses to agree with Kokichi –and Shuichi by association– which means that no matter what Shuichi says or how hard he tries to prove it, as long as Kokichi interrupts him and spins the story to make it look like he was somehow involved in that deduction, no one will agree with Shuichi no matter how much logic he throws at them. He has placed Shuichi's deductions in a permanent state of check. No matter what Shuichi says or does, Kokichi can and will get in the way of it immediately to control the narrative of the trial.

During this time Kokichi also says that Gonta is the culprit and I know that it tripped a lot of people up so I'll elaborate on what he was doing before we get to the next component. You have to remember that Kokichi's style of lying for this trial has predominantly been him saying the exact opposite of what he means in order to make the others do it. If Kokichi says "go left" they will all go right, that is how he uses his reputation. Notice how when he says Gonta is the culprit everyone's immediate reaction is to defend Gonta and persecute Kokichi even more than they were before, effectively framing himself by making it look like he was framing Gonta. When looking at Kokichi's lies it is sometimes essential to analyze the reaction he got than the lie on it's own because what he wants out of people is just as important as what he says to make them do it.

This leads into the 4th component: Kokichi getting the majority vote.

Kaito unquestionably holds the most influence in the trial after Shuichi loses all of his, gaining more by spearheading the hate campaign against Kokichi, and because of this everyone almost lost their lives in a mass execution.

After Shuichi's reputation in the eyes of the others is seen as being led astray and therefore less trustworthy, Kaito is the one that causes and loudly encourages everyone to rally against Kokichi, and by extension, doubt Shuichi's deductions. Kaito doing this more out of a hatred/distrust of Kokichi than anything related to Shuichi, with the rest following suit because they can't trust Kokichi, who they've been lead to hate so much in this trial by both Kaito and, unbeknownst to them, Kokichi. Kokichi essentially created his own witch hunt, with the cast's irrational anger without proof almost leading to a false conviction.

Allow me to further emphasize the fact that everyone but Shuichi was convinced that "Kokichi was a cold-hearted murderer trying to frame poor Gonta for his own crimes." Also allow me to remind you that according to the rules you don't need everyone to vote for the same person in order to win, you just need a majority. Kokichi had that majority and was about to "win" the trial.

...So why didn't he?

Failure

Two. Crossed. Wires.

That's it. All it took was one little piece to be out of place and Kokichi's astonishingly brilliant strategy crumbled in an instant. Allow me to clarify:

Everyone remembers the moment when Kokichi yelled at Gonta, right? The big, bad moment? That one? Good. I'm about to explain to you what Kokichi was thinking while he yelled.

In Kokichi's mind, his plan was almost complete. He had done the impossible! Everything had gone according to keikaku! He had gotten Gonta's cooperation, he made everyone blame him, he made everyone stop listening to the Ultimate Detective, all that was left was for Gonta to condemn him in front of the others and they would all vote for the wrong man. That one little nudge at this very crucial turning point and the plan would finally be complete, his effort made to bear fruit...

Except... Gonta never condemned Kokichi with any sort of evidence, all he said was "I don't know!" and "I didn't do it!" Gonta was about to trip them at the finish line and so Kokichi, as subtly as he could, told Gonta to blame him, the "culprit". Once, twice, a third time... he really tried to explain to Gonta what he was meant to do without alerting the others. It didn't even have to be true, as long as Gonta denounced Kokichi with even the slightest bit of evidence, the others were in enough of a frenzy to believe anything that pinned Kokichi as the culprit. Still, Gonta doesn't catch the hints from his collaborator. How could he? He didn't remember ever becoming partners in the first place. However, Kokichi doesn't know that and gets very frustrated that Gonta is about to throw away their one ticket to stopping the game, so he screams "Just make up an excuse or whatever" in his anger, still trying to get his point across. Gonta can't fuck up now. This is their only shot. Despite this, once more Gonta doesn't know what's going on and misses his cue.

Shuichi finally notices this as well, coming to the conclusion that Gonta's avatar had been the one with the error. Kokichi quickly realizes that his partner isn't available to him anymore, his memories lost in a bundle of wires and code. The moment is over, the frenzy has cooled off by the time Shuichi was done explaining and there was no way for him to lead the conversation again after ruining his own reputation like that. The plan failed.

All because of two little wires.

From here on out we see Kokichi visibly withdraw. There isn't anything left for him to do but complete the trial and think of a new plan. He's less motivated than before, insults everyone less than before, offers his input less than before, and generally seems like he can barely keep up his facade. You can't blame him though, with everything that happened that day and the fact that it was all in vain anyway really must have taken it's toll on Kokichi. From his friend trying to kill him to trying and failing to plan around his own murder to orchestrate and get away with a mass mercy kill... it's an unbelievable understatement to say he was having a bad day.

He speeds the trial up as much as he can with Kaito stubbornly getting in the way, forcing Shuichi to cross everyone off the suspect list except for Gonta, the unwitting blackened. Whether it was out of pity for Gonta's confusion or just him wanting the trial to be over already due to emotional exhaustion, or perhaps even both, doesn't neccesarily matter. Shuichi ends the trial regardless, and it's all over. Kokichi wasn't able to save anyone from despair and two of his friends died for nothing. He has no one to rely on now and no one left would ever consider letting him close to them. Roll credits... until he comes up with a new plan moments after Gonta is executed because if there is one thing about Kokichi you can always bet on, it's his quick wit.

Afterword

Now that we're at the end, I would like to make something very clear because with how much emphasis I put on Kokichi's capabilities as a leader I'm worried that I might be misunderstood.

I do not believe Gonta was manipulated into murdering Miu. Canon proves that Gonta was a willing collaborator due to external factors not relating to Kokichi's talent as a Leader, but instead because of despair and his own desire to protect everyone and that's that.

It's not really related to this anaylsis, however if I see someone using my own analysis to try and prove that Kokichi was anything but friends with Gonta I will go apeshit. Do not fucking do that.

#kokitea #danganronpa analysis #drv3 analysis #kokichi analysis #not sure what to tag this because i dont wanna put it in the main tags...#sorry for the sheer length of the post and the fact that im unable to add a read more because im on mobile #its not d1sc 0urs3 and its not criticism so idk what i should tag this as

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bartramcat · 4 years

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CSI/GSR: A Long Strange Analysis From San Francisco to Grave Danger

(This is way too long and all over the map. Nor do I think it’s necessarily coherent, but it’s kind of my stream of consciousness overview of the first 5 seasons of GSR, mainly first impressions, slightly refined. Well, as Alex Trebek always said: go with your first instinct.)

So when I decided to rewatch Sex, Lies and Larvae recently, I found myself having a rather surprising reaction to the GSR dynamic therein. Sara came across to me as incredibly young in that episode, so much so that I decided that was one reason, of many, why I was glad they didn't get them together from the get-go. Well, actually, for most of the first 2 seasons, she seems too young to be an equal partner in a relationship with Grissom. That doesn't mean I think they weren't in love at that point, only that perhaps she had some growing up to do first. Actually, they both did.

Grissom and Sara are an interesting case in that they both suffer from a similar affliction common in the exceptionally bright: their intellects are so far ahead of their peers that they rarely have any way to relate to them. Certainly not emotionally. The first thing to be sacrificed on the altar of intellectuality is emotional development and well-being. Toss in the horrific childhood Sara had and the silent one for Grissom, and you have a cocktail for arrested development. As long as they are operating on an intellectual plane, they are in their element. Put them in an interpersonal one, and they flounder like fish out of water.

By the time Grissom meets Sara, it is fairly clear he has found one way to relate to others: as teacher and/or mentor. It is in fact his most common relationship with all of those in his circle. It is also his initial dynamic with Sara, elements of which remain for the duration of their love story. It is for him a perfect construct: he can take personal pride and pleasure in their development as CSIs, but, at the same time, maintain that professorial distance, dissuading them from even attempting to fathom the man behind the intellectual mask. He is an enigma, an eccentric, whose mind works in mysterious ways. They admire him, respect him, possibly even love him, but they do not know him.

(I've always thought a good deal of their shock at learning he was in love with Sara stemmed not only from the fact that he was in love with Sara but from the fact that he was in love. With anyone.)

In Pledging Mr. Johnson, Catherine gives us insight into how Grissom lives his life and how they view him:

CATHERINE: You're right, you know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo, watching Discovery on the big screen, working genius-level crossword puzzles. But no relationships, no chance any will slop over into a case. Yeah, right. I want to be just like you.

GRISSOM: Technically it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right, I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.

CATHERINE: Grissom... WHAT personal stuff?

But Sara sees beneath the mask. It’s as if she knows intuitively there’s more to him than meets the eye. In San Francisco, did he show her a side to himself that no one else ever saw? Outside of Vegas, was he able to be a little more open with this inquisitive and very bright young woman? Was he instinctively more comfortable and trusting with her? Did they have a quasi-romantic relationship? We know they fell in love, but as to how far they took things, we'll never know.

Grissom had several qualms regarding a romantic relationship with Sara, not the least of which is the age difference. He genuinely believed that if he gave himself over to her completely that she would throw him over someday. That she would come to see him as old and unworthy and “deficient,” and he would be lost. I'm not entirely sure his fear of ultimate rejection began when she came to Vegas, even if they had previously consummated their relationship in SF. Of course, once she did come to Vegas, they both had a problem. She obviously thought their relationship was going to go forward, whereas he became aware that it couldn't without putting his job in jeopardy. Whether he brought her to Vegas thinking they could be/become lovers is again purely speculative. With Grissom however there is always the dichotomy between what he thinks and what he feels, especially where Sara is concerned. What we do know is that once he had her there he didn't want her to leave.

We know from his own words that she was the only woman he ever loved and that he found sex without love pointless. So, of course, the one person who becomes the one and only object of both his love and his desire is Forbidden Fruit. On all sorts of levels, objective and subjective.

While there is always an element of mentor/mentee in GSR, even including their very last "date" together, playing with the colored bees, I think the fundamental difference between the way he relates to Sara and everyone else is that he is more sharing his world with her than simply teaching her about it. That we learn that he gave her an entomology textbook for Christmas says...so much. Yet in episodes like SLAL, she comes across as a little too much the eager student, the subordinate, and not the perfect life partner for him she grew into. Perhaps he saw it too, reinforcing his fear that he had no business loving this young woman who would one day only see him as a pathetic old man. (Or worse: what she felt for him was no more than a temporary crush of a student on her teacher.)

One of the things the great love stories tend to have in common is that the 2 lovers usually have to go through life experiences, or "tests," in order to "earn" the other person. Since I see GSR as a Salvation rather than a Redemption love story, it's not a matter of them somehow becoming more moral people in order to be together. Rather, I think it's more a matter of their both growing and growing up.

There are several instances of gender reversal in their relationship, and I'm referring to traditional sexual behavior in fiction. Usually, it is the female in the relationship who turns the male down sexually. Seeing the relationship going nowhere, he is the one who is more likely to get involved in a casual relationship to meet his sexual needs. In GSR, it is Sara who goes outside the relationship. She gets involved with Hank, the guy who is like watching paint dry. We know Sara has serious self-esteem issues; being rejected by Grissom after she was so sure he wanted her as much as she wanted him didn't help. So, at his suggestion, she gets a life, unaware that fucking another guy was not exactly what he meant. It damn near kills him; he can't even look at her. At the same time, his life is on a downward spiral: he is going deaf. He thinks he has nothing to offer her, but he uses the job to try to come between them. To keep her away from Hank, unaware that all he ever had to do was say the word, and she would have dropped Hank faster than yesterday's crossword.

Of course, in Grissom's mind, he was no competition for Hank, when, in reality, Hank was never real competition for him, if he had been able to come to terms with his feelings for Sara and act on them. I do think the Hank episode was important for both of them. For the first time Grissom had to confront the possibility he really could lose her forever by keeping their relationship purely on his terms, and Sara learned that no matter how much she tried to get a life that Grissom would always be number one in her heart.

The end of season 3 is the beginning of the first dark period for Sara. She learns that her attempt to get a life outside of her love for Grissom is an abysmal failure. While dating Hank never comes close to changing her love for Grissom, at least it was a way to keep her from moping around her apartment waiting for the man who was never going to show up. Then she discovers she's the other woman, Hank's side girl. Not that I think she was ever broken-hearted over ending it with him in any life-changing way, but she was humiliated. It sort of reinforced her idea that she was never good enough, even for a non-entity like Hank. So how could she ever be good enough for the man who was her ideal, her one and only, whom she had loved instantly and always? And, again, he turns her down.

Season 4 is what lays the groundwork for both of them to grow up. The first half of the season is the fallout from her offering and his rejecting her. The second half is her discovering he did, in fact, have feelings for her, had considered her as a potential second chance, only to place his job above any chance of happiness with her. That she was not worth taking a risk. It really is fairly amazing she didn't just say I'm outta here and go back to SF at that point.

While the two of them continue to dance around the central issue between them, in season 4 it seems that Sara is taking Grissom's own approach to things: she wants to advance in her profession. I've always been of the opinion that the reason Grissom chose Nick over Sara for the promotion was that he thought choosing Sara would be an act of favoritism on his part. He knew deep down inside he was in love with her, but he had to prove to himself that he could be objective where she was concerned. (His reasons for choosing Nick smack of rationalization.) Sara reads it as his way of continuing to punish her, as well as making it seem that she isn't good enough on any level, personal or professional, for Grissom. By the end of Season 4, she hits rock bottom. She came to Vegas for a man she can't have and for a job she can't advance in, ironically, because of that same man.

While Nesting Dolls is the episode that most directly makes the GSR love affair possible, I actually think the last scene of Bloodlines is what makes that episode possible. I have always felt that when he saw her sitting there humiliated that he realized 2 things: one was that no matter how much he denied it, he loved her, and the other was that by pushing her away that he was hurting both of them.

In order for Grissom to grow up, that is what he had to learn: that a love relationship has to work for both parties. While he could derive a certain amount of contentment simply by being in her orbit, his self-denial of a more complete (both physical and emotional) relationship was also a refusal to give Sara what she needed. The entire 4th season is quite convoluted in terms of Grissom's psyche where Sara is concerned. On the one hand, we are finally given verbal entree into the fact that he is indeed in love with Sara in Butterflied. At the same time, he truly believes he has blown his chance with her, and he distances himself from her. Yet somewhere between the end of Season 4 and the beginning of Season 5 he seems to have come to a decision that she is worth the risk.

And even though we are not given privy to his epiphany in any concrete "aha" moment, his behavior towards Sara changes. It is almost as if he has finally realized that love is always a risk, and that to truly love someone is not some idealized romantic concept but a give and take between two people. While he may still believe that he is "too late" for them to have a "beautiful life" together, that doesn't mean he can't be there for her. To become emotionally available. To show her that he cares about her. To love her without reservation, and let the chips fall where they may.

There are several moments in season 5 pre ND when it seems to me that Grissom is actively wooing Sara--in his fashion. Let's face it, he really is 50 going on 15 when it comes to romance. I more than suspect that he was not the pursuer in his few sexual relationships. (Another reason the whole Teri Miller thing doesn't quite fit.) Even if you are in the camp of their having had a fully consummated relationship in SF, A La Cart tells us that, initially, it was Sara who pursued him. The difference, apparently, is that he didn't offer up much resistance. What we don't know is how far it went. Was it immediate impetuous sex and figure out the rest later, or a long slow romantic dance stopping just short of intercourse? Or some combination of both? What we do know is that the attraction was intellectual, emotional and physical. It was love at first sight.

As for Sara, she is somewhat the phoenix from the ashes in this part of the story. It's clear she came to Vegas under the assumption things would move forward with them. She has two responses when they don't, the first was to become an obsessive workaholic. Then, in an effort to get a life, she begins seeing another guy. Other than giving her a modicum of companionship and recreational sex, making her feel wanted on a superficial level, I highly doubt she got much out of dating Hank. She is absolutely obviously still in love with Grissom for the duration of that relationship. Once her distraction from her one true love ends, she decides to give it another shot with Grissom, but her timing couldn't be worse. While there is some indication she realized something was wrong with his hearing, it's clear that she is unaware of the seriousness of the situation. The irony of the scene in Play With Fire is that the 2 threats Grissom perceived to his career are intermingled within seconds: his potential loss of hearing and the girl he loves.

I've mentioned before that watching Sara spiral downward in season 4 is hard to watch. It must have seemed to her that she was thwarted at every turn...by Gil Grissom. The very bright are at an emotional disadvantage when it comes to interpersonal relationships. So much comes so easily to them that when relationships can't be intellectually analyzed into working out they feel as if they are utter failures. Clearly, Sara is fighting feelings of worthlessness throughout the season. Okay, the guy rejected me. I'll put my head down and concentrate on my work. Omigod the guy does have feelings for me, but they weren't strong enough for him to take a chance with me. Omigod, now I'm not even good enough for a promotion, despite my exemplary record and workaholic work ethic. It's more nuanced than that, especially in Jorja's portrayal.

Hitting rock bottom with the DUI was a wake up call for Sara. Ironically, it seems that while seeing Sara broken and humiliated was a strong impetus for Grissom to revisit his interactions with her, it also seems that it caused Sara to reevaluate her relationship with Grissom vis-a-vis what she was hoping to get out of her job. On some level, her entire time in Vegas has been an attempt to use her working for him as a way to woo him: Seeking "validation in inappropriate places." It is her most mature recognition. She is no longer angling to be his “star pupil” in an effort to win his love. Yes, she came to Vegas for Grissom. Yes, she's still in love with him, but she can't make him love her on her terms; still, she can't let all of that infuse their working relationship. It is almost as if she has accepted the same terms for their relationship as the one he has been living: to be completely in love with someone, knowing it will never be more than it is, and enjoying what there is instead of longing for what can’t be.

Ironically, it is perhaps in the very moment that she tells him that she recognizes that which ultimately gets her her man. I think she stuns him twice in Snakes, first by more or less telling him she was still in love with him, and then by walking away before he can respond to her. In many ways, it's an incredibly frustrating scene. Once again she puts herself out there, and, again, he blows it. He can't say what he wants to say, and, once more, it seems as if they are destined to dance around their love for one another. But there is a difference. This time he doesn't reject her. While he clearly cannot find the words, the scene reopens up all sorts of possibilities.

While I am not in the camp of their having had sex in the time gap in ND, I do believe a lot happened, quietly. I do think he stayed with her, possibly even took her to bed, chastely, holding her until she fell asleep. In other words, whatever happened between them in that interim was incredibly intimate from an emotional standpoint. She bared her soul to him, and he stayed. It's always been my gut feeling that her making herself so vulnerable to him is what enabled him, finally, to make himself vulnerable to her.

The thing these two characters have in common is that they really don't want people to know them. They both have secrets, and they develop parallel but different modes of self-protection, although both use intellectually as a prop in their methodology. Grissom tells Cassie James in The Hunger Artist that "Looking for things, analyzing them... trying to figure out the world--that's a life." He shields himself with the "shell around his heart." When, suddenly, he has this cornucopia of feelings, which include sexual desire, for this young woman, he doesn't know how to deal with it. She makes him vulnerable because she makes him feel. His only self-protection is self-denial: he cannot let himself love this girl because he could lose himself in the love of her. As long as he keeps her at arm's length, she cannot reject him: if he never has her, he can never lose her.

When Grissom tells Heather he learned to love someone, I think he was speaking specifically to the moment he decided that loving Sara was not just about recognizing that he loved her but the realization that love was about taking risks, not in terms of his job but in terms of making himself vulnerable to her. Showing her he cared about her, wanting to be with her in an all-encompassing romantic relationship. By choosing to get involved with her, even if he never said it directly, he was telling her she was worth the risk, not only to his career but to everything he had carefully crafted in his psyche to keep himself safe from emotion, from the potential heartbreak of love.

My read on when and how they got together is pretty eccentric in the head canon world. For one, I think it happened much more quickly after ND than most folks, at least the sexual part of it, nor do I think it just happened. I think Grissom decided it was "now or never." That he found himself at her door on some Sunday morning or afternoon to see what would happen, because, finally, he was ready to throw caution to the wind, to take a chance. To allow himself to love.

I confess that the first time I saw ND I was convinced they made love in the time gap, especially given the double entendre in Grissom's defiant speech to Ecklie. Not to mention his flushed appearance. The problem is that I think Grissom would have seen it as taking advantage of her vulnerability. On the other hand, it makes no sense to me that after she returned from her suspension that he would wait until after the terror of either Committed or Grave Danger. I think the cumulative effect of Snakes and ND was more than enough to make him seize the day.

I realize the most popular reads are that either almost losing Sara in Committed or Nick in GD is what made him realize life is short, so he shouldn't waste any more time. I prefer internally vs externally driven epiphanies. IOW I prefer believing that whenever they got together that it had more to do with Grissom's emotional evolution than by some external traumatic event. It also seems to be a little too cliched a plot device, as well as somehow selling the character short. Maybe I’ve seen too many soaps where the big sweeps tragedy is what causes people to “find” each other. ND is sort of a traumatic event, but it is more of a recounting of one, and it represents an incredible turning point between them. Short version is that it is all about trust and emotional intimacy.

I suppose the other thing is that after ND if he were to go back into romantic Hamlet mode that he may actually have made the same mistake all over again. That, no matter how comforting he may have seemed during her confession, he might have given her the impression that he was again pulling back from her: that nothing had changed. And I just cannot believe at that moment in time he was going to let that happen. Lest we forget, he had already thought he'd lost her twice: when he found out about Hank and when he had rejected her in PWF.

I suspect ND made him know that he wanted to take care of her, but I don't mean in the traditional man taking care of woman way, but more in terms of meeting her emotional needs. Showing her that he loved her, by wanting to be with her, no matter the risks to career, to self. By trusting her as she trusted him. Sex can have all sorts of metaphoric implications, but, as Grissom himself says, it is an opportunity for human connection. For a man as verbally inept as Grissom (when it comes to feelings), as well as one who believes in the inexorable link between love and sex, entering into a sexual relationship with Sara was doubtless to him his way to tell her he loved her.

As I've mentioned elsewhere, I don't think these two ever discussed their past relationships with each other. For both of them, none of them mattered, certainly not in comparison to what they felt for each other. Sara seemed to be under the impression that, like every other man, Grissom had sexual "needs," not necessarily relationships, but sex. Hence her surprise that he'd never paid for sex, despite living in Vegas for so long. Ironically, the fact that she seems to have had no idea before Ending Happy that his sexual selectivity was so narrow also may have contributed to her insecurities in their affair. While we are never given a time frame for when he decided that sex without love was pointless, there is strong evidence, even in parts of Season 1, that it was well before he ever met Sara.

I do think Grissom's atypical sexuality is tough for people to wrap their heads around, especially as a lead male character in a TV show. A lot of folks seem to think of course he would have sex with Catherine or Heather or Sofia if the opportunity presented itself. The way I see Grissom is that of course he wouldn't. With the exception of Sara, whom he loves romantically, when Grissom loves a woman (Heather, Catherine), he values the relationship as is, and it's all that he needs from it. For him, I think, to have sex with a woman he loves Platonically would in fact ruin that relationship. It would add an element he neither needed nor wanted, and he would feel that the particular bond would be altered, even destroyed.

The problem for Grissom is that what he felt for Sara terrified him. He had such a well-ordered life before the girl with the ponytail walked into his lecture. He didn't need close personal relationships; he didn't need sex. He had work and science and problem solving. He had his "students." And, boom, at 41, he's suddenly like a teenager in love. He thinks about her, he dreams about her, he feels love, experiences desire. He is out of his element. The sum total of his confusion is succinctly summed up when he tells her he doesn't know what to do about "this." And that "this" is the whole ball of everything Sara Sidle makes him feel. The stuff poets wrote about. The stuff he thought he'd never have, the stuff he couldn't even conceive he could ever even want. He wants it so much it paralyzes him. He cannot step over the line. And in that moment he is sure he has lost her forever.

And then he is given another chance, not because he has gotten down on his knees and begged her for one but because, after everything, after every attempt to distance himself from her so they could both move on, she is still there. After all the years of permutations and rejection and hurt, they are still in love. For not one moment since the day she walked into his lecture have they not been in love.

In Leave Out all the Rest, Sara says she “thought we could survive anything.” By the time they get together in Vegas, they have already survived a lot. They have intentionally and unintentionally hurt and rejected each other. She has tried to get a “life” completely devoid of him, and he has done his best to distance himself from her, despite his being drawn to her “like a moth to a flame.” Yet, despite all of this, the love they feel for one another has only deepened. They are, emotionally, already a couple, and they probably always have been, even if they didn’t know it.

All of which brings me back to the evolution of Gil and Sara as an actual couple. While I think they consummated their relationship within a short period after ND, (or reconsummated it if they had sex in SF), it's not that I think they fell into some sort of fully formed relationship. Hell, these two are babes in the woods when it comes to love and romance. I suspect they began a sexual relationship without taking the time to define what exactly it was, other than the fact that they both realized nobody could know about it. I doubt, initially, they discussed much having to do either with the depth of their feelings or where they hoped the relationship would go. Instead, it was probably primarily physical, although they may have begun to spend more and more time together, one or the other occasionally "sleeping over," or even sharing a meal or watching a movie together. (Ironically, if they did have a sexual encounter(s) in SF, I think a large part of the confusion in Vegas was probably because they never discussed feelings, fidelity, or a future. Despite the depth of what each felt, they probably both would have played it as casual.)

My read is that there was a significant turning point due to the events in Committed. There is no doubt Grissom was shaken when Adam Trent held the shard to her neck. He must have meditated on the potential cruel irony that almost was: after years of denying himself being with Sara that in an instant he almost lost her, irrevocably. While I doubt he dashed to her place and declared his overwhelming love to her, I certainly think it possible he said something along the lines of not being able to bear losing her, or, perhaps, if something had happened to her, he would miss her for the rest of his life. It was perhaps at that point they moved to the next level, with at least a tacit acknowledgement that they were, in fact, a couple and wanted more out of the relationship than sex. (It might be too neat of a play on words if the events of this episode caused them to admit they were in a "committed" relationship.)

To me the silly scene in Grave Danger between them is so telling. They are so open, relaxed with each other. They are intimate. The entire scene comes across as if they are in their own private bubble in the middle of the lab. One of the more fascinating and consistent narrative techniques employed by CSI with GSR is oppositional analogy. (An example is in Swap Meet, wherein we are told both Sara and Grissom are naturally monogamous within the context of wife swapping.) In Grave Danger, we see Grissom acting completely and unabashedly like an excited little kid with Sara. The sweet irony to me is that he has grown up. He has taken down the walls between them. He has let her in. And, suddenly, she seems not his eager student but more akin to a patient, adoring wife.

The beauty of GSR is that these are two convoluted, emotionally damaged people who get each other, the good and the bad, and love each other anyway. It is unconditional love. And it is selfless, often too much so. They want each other to be happy. The sad undercurrent is that, at times, each loses sight of the fact that each is the other's key to happiness. When rifts develop, it is not because of the faults they see in each other but because of those each sees in themselves.

#csi #csi: las vegas #gil grissom #sara sidle #sara x grissom #gsr #long post #mytext

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dalgikiss · 4 years

Text

Urban Loneliness // k. bakugou

index

part 7

You’re beginning to think telling Mina and Kirishima was a bad idea when Sero shoots you another sympathetic look. You’ve counted over three in the past hour alone, all exclusively from Sero.

However, true to their word, it seems as though everyone in class 1-A has been doing their best to keep you away from Bakugou, with Kirishima seeming to have perfect timing to shield you from Bakugou’s eyes, Todoroki answering questions Bakugou directs towards you from the other side of the room and even Uraraka going as far as using her quirk to throw you into the air so you could avoid him in the hallways.

Unfortunately for you, he seemed to notice it just as well.

His red eyes stare you down angrily, and you shift in your seat uncomfortably at the intensity of his gaze. You stared at the worksheet Aizawa had given to you, the words beginning to swim in front of your eyes. How the fuck were you supposed to do work when you felt like you might be attacked at any minute?

“Yo idiot”

You looked up from the worksheet, gripping your pencil tight between your fingers when you felt the familiar way your chest was tightening at the sight of him. “Hmm?”

“How the fuck do you answer question 5?”

You want to tell him you haven’t even finished question one, that his gaze makes your brain turn to mush and you forget how to breathe sometimes when you smell caramel because he’s all you can think about.

Instead, you open your mouth to say no idea, i’m still on the first question and bring up your worksheet to prove it but Todoroki’s voice can be heard loud and clear from the opposite side of the room. “Bakugou-san, I believe the answer is-”

Immediately Bakugou rises out of his seat, pushing his chair back too hard and too quickly and it crashes into Midoriya’s desk who jumps.

“I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU FUCKING ANSWER A QUESTION THAT ISN’T FOR YOU ONE MORE TIME I WI-”

“Bakugou, that’s enough” Aizawa’s voice cuts through Bakugou’s spiel, sending him a pointed look. “If you have something to say, you can say it after class”

If stares could kill, you would have gladly chosen death then be under Bakugou’s gaze when he reluctantly sits back down, the chair scraping noisily underneath him. You returned your attention back to the paper in front of you, pretending to be busy.

Kirishima caught your gaze, whispering a soft good luck under his breath.

At the first sign of Aizawa ending class, Bakugou practically pounces on you, hands slamming down on your desk. “You better not be fucking running away from me” His hands reach to grab out at you but you’re immediately pulled just out of his reach, jerking backwards when Momo grabs the back of your chair towards her. “Hey! Mina and I are going to the stationary store, do you wanna come with us? We can get some boba too!”

Momo might be fast but Bakugou is slightly faster, his calloused hands wrapping around your upper arm before Momo can pull you away. “You can take her to get strawberry shortcake later, Ponytail. I gotta talk to her first”

Being around him is intoxicating, caramel fills your senses and the feeling of a flower petal tickles the back of your throat. He’s refusing to let go of your arm, even as Momo argues with him about letting you make your own decision. It’s only when you begin to shake, wrenching yourself out of his gasp to cover your mouth that he lets go, eyebrows knit with concern.

You wave away everyone that’s beginning to crowd around, struggling to hold all the petals in your hand. Bakugou stands in shock as you hunch over. Before he can interject, someone is pulling you away from the crowd and out into the hallway.

He’s about to stop you from leaving but something pink falls from your clenched fists as you’re being led outside. He stops in his tracks, bending down to pick it up, eyebrows only furrowing in confusion. It’s the same petal he saw outside his room before his date with Sayaka, his fingers gently running over it.

Why the fuck are you carrying flower petals around?

You can finally breathe properly when you’re out of the classroom, the last of the petals finally subsiding. Kirishima holds out his hand expectantly, gesturing to yours and you sigh, dumping the flowers into his awaiting palms. You let out a strangled smile at the way his face twisted into one of disgust when he realized how bloody and full of spit they were. “Sorry about that. They’re pretty nice looking if you ignore everything on them”

He dumps them into a nearby trash bin, shaking his hands free of spit. “Have they always been this bloody?” His thumb swipes away a bit of blood that you missed from the corner of your mouth.

“Only recently” You say, finally standing up straight. “So, wanna get some boba?” Kirishima rolls his eyes at your horrible attempt to change the subject before relenting. “Sure” Your arm loops around his and Kirishima lets you pull him away.

“It’s getting worse,” Kirishima notes, sitting across from you in the small boba shop. You pretend not to hear him, swirling the straw around your drink so the tapioca pearls circle around your cup. He doesn’t let the subject go this time, pinching your cheeks until it’s your turn to give in, letting out a yelp and wrenching out of his grasp.

“Alright, alright! Yes, it is getting worse” You say angrily, sucking the pearl into your mouth. You threaten to start shooting the tapioca into his face but he only grabs it away from you. “What?” You ask in exasperation, “I answered you! Give me back my drink!”

“How much longer do you have?”

You snort, throwing a paper napkin ball at him. “Why do you talk about it like I’m about to be returned somewhere?”

He returns the gesture, throwing it back at you. “Why do you always dodge the question?”

“I don’t know” You finally answer after a long pause, “I have to make a decision soon. It hurts to breathe now, even when I’m not near him. It gets worse when I am though and the fact that I can cough up actual flowers- stem and all, is not a good sign”

His eyes are set on you and the way you’re pretending to be fine, a smile on your face that doesn’t quite meet your eyes and an even voice but your hands are shaking and your fingers can’t seem to stop tearing the napkin into shreds. “What are you going to do? Get the surgery?”

You shake your head no and his heart drops.

“Are you going to tell him?” Kirishima’s voice is slightly hopeful, “Maybe if you tell him, it’ll stop. You never know

“No, it only stops if he likes me back remember? You remind Kirishima, “He has a girlfriend now and- can I get my drink back?”

He slides it back to you and you greedily snatch it away from him. “Tell him or get the surgery”

“Don’t want to”

“You have to” Kirishima argues, becoming frustrated at your reluctance. Did you want to die or something?

When you finally look up from playing with your drink, Kirishima is taken aback at how vulnerable you let him see you. He forgets you’re both young and in school, struggling to just make it past another one of UA’s crazy exams, that you didn’t ask to be given a disease that made you choke on flowers just because your feelings aren't reciprocated.

“If I tell him, he’ll feel guilty. It isn’t his fault that I have this anymore than it is yours. It’s not fair that any of this is happening. He’s happy!” You look at Kirishima with tear filled eyes, “He likes her and she likes him and this is just all shitty fucking luck.”

You wipe the tears away from your eyes angrily. “Shitty fucking luck, shitty fucking luck, that’s all I fucking have right now and that’s all this is” He’s beginning to regret pushing you to answer as you continue your rant. “Get a surgery that makes me forget how to love or die by flower- shit fucking options for shit fucking luck, don’t you think?”

You open your mouth to continue, angry at the world and the universe but Kirishima’s quick to move, sliding next to you and pulling you into a hug. You’re yelling curses at everyone and everything, beating your fists against his chest and he can feel his shirt dampening with hot tears but he lets you get out your frustration and desperation until your throat is raw from crying and your palms hurt from how deep your nails are digging into your skin.

When you finally pull away from his chest, Kirishima wipes away the last of your tears with his thumbs, a soft smile on his lips. You want to cry even more when your heart beats against your chest extremely hard at how tenderly he looks at you, cradling your face with one hand.

I don’t want to lose this

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when Kirishima hands you your drink, telling you that you have to stay hydrated after crying and you can’t help but laugh when he attempts to shove napkins up your nose to prevent snot from running out.

He drops you off at your dorm with your half-finished passion fruit green tea boba in hand and the promise of returning later to rewatch Tangled for the 45th time -not that it took much convincing when you looked at him with those stupid puppy dog eyes- and you step into your room.

The petal jar is displayed on your bedside table, blood and all, and you throw your jacket at it when it’s the first thing your eyes land on.

Stupid Bakugou. You can vividly remember the way he looked at you before Momo pulled you away and his desperate efforts to start a conversation with you, only to be deterred by someone. Your chest begins to hurt and you can’t help it when another full fledged flower makes its way out of your mouth.

You stare at it for some time, Recovery Girl’s words ringing through your head. You had to make a decision soon. With a sigh, you set your cup down on the desk and pick it up off the floor to throw into the jar. Another flower added to your collection. If you coughed up a few more, you could make a bouquet soon. A wry smile makes its way to your face at that thought and you flop onto your bed, kicking your shoes off in the process.

It’s only when Bakugou slams open the door to your dorm room do you bolt upright to stare back at his enraged face.

“Bakugou? What the fuck are you doing in my room?”

Bakugou Katsuki is extremely, undeniably pissed. He already can’t stand it when Todoroki speaks, much less talk to him but if he answered another question that wasn’t directed towards him one more time, Bakugou was going to throw him into the fucking stratosphere.

He doesn’t get why you’re suddenly avoiding him like the plague, still vividly remembering how you pointedly ignored him when coming out of Recovery Girl’s office to go to Todoroki of all people. He’s pretty sure Uraraka once even threw you into the ceiling when he was walking down the hall.

He can’t shake off the feeling that Kirishima is in on the act as well and he can’t shake off the feeling of jealousy that pooled at the bottom of his stomach when he saw you asleep on top of Kirishima, his arm wrapped around your waist and your face, close- too close to Kirishima’s for Bakugou’s comfort.

He detests it with a passion every time you’re near Todoroki with your arm linked around his, when you’re doubled over in laughter over one of Kaminari’s stupid jokes or sharing your lunch with Midoriya.

It’s just because you’re a close friend, he tells himself, because the guys you’re close to are perverts and idiots and you are nothing like them. So why are you hanging out with them and not him?

He reminds himself he’s Sayaka’s boyfriend, that he really likes her and her shiny black hair that’s soft to the touch and the small freckles that are dotted across her cheeks like stars but then he sees you and you’re listening to Mina talk about god-knows-what with your eyes trained solely on her as though she’s the only thing left in the world, smile lingering on your face from laughing so hard, your stomach hurts and he can’t remember the last time you’ve looked at him like that.

It’s frustrating when you keep slipping from his grasp, despite his best efforts to talk to you and Bakugou’s pretty sure that if someone in 1-A tried to stop him again, he was gonna kill them.

“Yo idiot, how the fuck do you answer question 5?” Bakugou lies. The question is easy, he could answer it in his sleep but he’s waiting for you to respond. He can’t remember the last time you’ve met his eyes but when you do, you look worse than he remembers. He wants to ask if you’re okay, if you’ve been sleeping enough and if you’ve been eating because your skin is duller and your eye bags are darker but he never gets to because Todoroki is responding instead of you.

“Bakugou-san, I believe the answer is-”

“I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU FUCKING ANSWER A QUESTION THAT ISN’T FOR YOU ONE MORE TIME I WI-”

When Aizawa cuts his threat off, Bakugou angrily sits back down in his seat, red eyes staring intensely at you, who had gone back to finishing the questions without a single word spoken. With a huff, he stared back down at the paper in front of him, determined to get you to talk to him.

It’s frustrating for him even more so when even Momo pulls you away from him to drag you along some trip that Bakugou can’t care less about, but he’d be damned if you get away from him again. He grabbed your arm, willing for you to look at him so he knew he won the stupid argument with Momo when you’re suddenly coughing and he’s too in shock to stop Kirishima from taking you away.

What was with everyone making sure you ignored him?

If there’s one thing that Bakugou is good at though, it’s getting straight to the root of the problem and that problem was you. At least, he's pretty sure it’s you. He’ll just have to find a way to talk to you without others around.

#bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki x you #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo imagine

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