#resort. i didnt want to do this but I have no where else to go. i only have a week
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ok this is the first time ive ever had to do this but I really need the help right now. i know its going to be hard to get the full amount in the time that I have but any help would benefit me so greatly. i am putting the explanation under the cut as it is very long but TLDR:
I got into the film school of my dreams on a scholarship, but student finance will not pay for the full course fee because my university is independent, (£20k, SF can only pay £14.4k) so I have to pay the remaining fee (£5.6k) by June 1st. I cannot graduate if I don't pay this fee and I am under 2 months away from graduating. all evidence and explanation is under the cut.
gfm is here if the link above doesn't work
thank you to anyone in advance.
I have been studying filmmaking for 2 years at university and I am 2 months away from graduating. I got into this university through a scholarship that reduced the standard course fee in half. Usually, Student Finance/the government will pay for these course fees, but because my university is private, they are unable to pay the fee in full. My course costs £20k and Student Finance will pay £14,400 of this. This means I have to pay £5,600.
Here is the evidence and proof that I did get into my university on a scholarship and what my university offers in terms of fees:
I have been looking for financial support for 2 years (before I even started attending but had a confirmed place) and it has not been enough. I have contacted my local authority for years about the grant I am entitled to as a foster care leaver and the most I could receive was £2,000 that ended up going to paying my gas and electric bills.
I have also gone to many charities to ask them for support and many of the responses I got were "go to your local authority". I did find one charity that was willing to help me but the sponsors of the charity decided that I would receive a laptop and they would pay for the travel costs to my university for a year instead. I am eternally grateful for that but now I have nowhere else to go for this.
I would really appreciate any help I am already having a extremely hard time dealing my current eviction and I am on the verge if being homeless I would just like to get something off my back and I would rather graduate and get this over with. I am still actively working to find places that are willing to help me but in the time that I have now I would appreciate it if I could get something in the meantime.
#mine#ive been trying to get help for years and I either wasn't eligible to get any money or it wasn't enough this is literally my last#resort. i didnt want to do this but I have no where else to go. i only have a week#i know its gonna be hard to get the full 5k in a week but anything I get from this will help me so much.#i have been talking to my school for MONTHS and they said I have to pay it in the month of June and this is the date they have#given me. i have tried
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I really like this blog most of the time, but sometimes you take reasonable earnest asks that are trying to be thoughtful, and are such a dick about it.
Like if it's the characters being dicks, fine. But you could say something in the tags or post to indicate you're not just viciously mocking someone for trying to engage.
I still haven't submitted an ask since seeing your response that led to comments along the lines of "anon should go die in a hole" for asking, pretty reasonably, why harrow would want to stay with people she didn't seem to like or want to be around or interact with.
(i know, because she does like them and does want them around but doesn't know how to show it) but it's an ASK blog. How do we hear that from her unless someone ASKS
i understand it might be surprising and a bit hurtful to see an ask answered with the characters being mean/flippant, and for that i do apologize that it wasnt made clear that it would be a common thing in this blog. id like to issue the disclaimer: there is always the possibility that the characters here will not take your question well. they might answer rudely, and instigating behavior is not only encouraged but expected on both ends. this does not reflect my personal opinions as the artist; there are over 250 asks even after i constantly compile duplicates, and i will answer the asks that i personally like.
i will assume you are referencing the two most recent posts where gideon acts rudely and i repost an old panel: for the former i thought anon was really sweet for being so heartfelt and encouraging, but gideon isnt the kind of person who needs to be told shes brave for doing that by a stranger. it was a simple act of survival. and harrow is still very much in the passive deprogramming phase. the latter response was meant to kickstart (spoilers) what i will call the "dicks last resort" arc, where i clean out the inbox and share more simple, low effort, but potentially rude responses*. this is because i have roughly drawn almost daily for 87 days straight, and would like to recuperate without being burnt out because i love this blog and i love art.
this leads me to my next point: some of these answers will be curt and short and rude, because they are easy to draw. if i only prioritized the "good" asks or to make certain ask responses kinder, or longer, it wouldnt be a daily blog. it would be a monthly blog where 5 asks get answered among 100s. i didnt anticipate people asking about harrows piercings, and i considered shutting it down by just having harrow say she likes them etc. but i did want to give more insight into harrows character even if she wouldnt say so herself, and that took roughly 3 full unemployed nights. if i treated every ask in good faith the same way i wouldnt have time for anything else, because they take more effort and have to be seriously considered for the future. i can retcon their favorite ice cream or play off griddlehark fighting - it takes more to keep track of a narrative about people talking Around their issues
* by rude responses i mean "this will affect the 679ers negatively, much like making your sim 🧑🤝🧑➖➖ someone" there are a few asks planned to hurt in the same way one drafts a bad end in a visual novel, and this type of interaction is encouraged. of course if you dont want them to get worse dont send asks telling gideon she should flirt with MILFs (you cant send this ask now i already said it), but i encourage the banter.
TL;DR this is the "characters think you are weird for personal questions" blog. i am sorry i didnt warn of the ask-response banter, because i also enjoy drawing these characters being dicks. i do like when aggravation and conflict leads to character development. "how do we get earnest answers unless someone asks" sometimes you will never explicitly get that from them, and thats what the dead ends are for: to let you know to try something else and read between the lines
#the reason why i did not say anything sooner is because i do not like making ooc posts on here often. i want a little intrigue and mystery#i dream of when people will actively discuss in tags and notes how best to confront these characters#actual ooc#and i will say. i will not remember to indicate in the tags that i am not mocking the ask every time#i cannot be responsible for managing everyones feelings if they are hurt that harrowhark or gideon reacted badly#which i have seen people do! in the notes saying that gideons behavior makes them hate her a little! good!#if you dont like the direction this blog turns then i would encourage you to interact selectively
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"Kisses. Now. "
Morisuke Yaku x Gn! Reader.
Established relationship, clingy! Yaku
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Morisuke Yaku always thought he was the type to never get desperate, never resort to straight up begging for affection.
That was until he met you.
You were stunning, you had that inflection to your voice that made his head spin, a smile that he swore rivaled the sun, and fluffy hair that made him want to run his hands through it. You were exactly his type, no matter if you were/were not his type before he had layed eyes and ears on you.
Morisuke was a blushing mess when he asked you out, bowing and handing you a little note that he may or may not have forced both Lev and Kenma to read over multiple times before he had ever even dared to give it to you.
And now he had you, he had that love and affection he didnt know he needed. You would always curl up with him when you both needed it, you would kiss him on the cheek before he went onto the court for games, always grinning and cheering for him at every single game: even managing to convince the coach to let you go to the training camps with him. (Not that it was hard, because it was so clear that he was both better and nicer with you there. ) He began to grow used to the amount of love you gave him.
So when you had fallen sick, and avoided him for two whole weeks, he had gotten a bit antsy and upset. He already missed your affection and it had only been two weeks. He had tried to convince you a few times to let him come over and take care of you, but you said no and he wanted to respect your boundaries.
But now you were back, and he wanted his affection.
"Babe. " he poked you on the cheek with a half smile, you were sitting with him on the sidelines of a meeting Kuroo had called to basically "berate" Lev into actually paying attention.
"Yeah?" You tilted your head in the most adorable way he had ever seen.
"Kisses. Now. " he poked you again as you laughed.
"Its only been two weeks. " you giggled, and he felt his face heat up a little.
"Two weeks too long. Kisses. Now. " he pouted, and you moved forward to kiss his nose.
"Okay. Any more requests prince charming?" You smirked, chuckling at his neediness.
He wouldnt be like this for anyone else, but for you.. he was willing to be a little clingy bastard.
"Yes. Hold me. Cuddle with me. Kiss me some more, I havent gotten enough. I have a ton of requests baby. " he smirked back with a little bit of a chuckle of his own.
"Geez, well arent you a charmer?" You pressed another kiss to his face, his cheek. He was kind of grateful you both were hidden behind the taller players on the team.
"Nope. But you love me anyway. " he grinned.
"..that I do. " you nodded, taking initiative to hug yourself to him, he gratefully wrapped his arm around you, your head laying on his shoulder.
"I love you too baby. " he muttered, kissing your forehead from where it layed on his shoulder.
Throughout the entire meeting he occasionally took initiative to take more affection, cling to you a little more, hug you a little closer.
He could admit it now, even though he thought he never would.
He was clingy.
But only for you.
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#haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcannons#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu x reader#hq drabbles#hq hcs#aesthetic#yaku morisuke#morisuke yaku x reader#yaku x reader#yaku x you#yaku x y/n#yaku#yaku haikyuu#haikyuu yaku morisuke
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do you mind talking about what made effexor so bad for you? also where can I read about this streamer fake death lol
all the stuff on thedarkid is on SA in the sagas thread lol. i would prefer not to post a link bc the quality of new posters is at an all time low on that website and i dont want to contribute to the problem.
AS FOR EFFEXOR: i am prefacing this with the fact that this is my personal experience as a result of my body chemistry. effexor might work for some people with different body chemistry. my suggestion would be to try everything else first before resorting to this one and to be ready to feel really, really bad when discontinuing it.
i got off effexor because the negatives of taking it finally outweighed the positives and the problem i had been taking it for was no longer relevant. this will make me sound ridiculous so keep in mind i took crazy meds for this exact problem, but after we bought and moved into the house, i started having nightly panic attacks and weeping fits over both the decadence of my new non-renter lifestyle (which was materially going to impact the quality of my work and how i viewed reality) and the fact that i had taken a really big step toward commitment without having resolved the source of my deep social anxiety. i could realize how i was behaving and reacting was not normal and until i could get a therapist to address it, i was going to have to put a bandaid on it.
effexor flattened my emotions and my affect lol. this is really, really good for when you cannot reach a baseline of normality. this became bad when that flatness turned into apathy and started sliding into my day to day life. doing basic household chores became a daily struggle. then i started not making my deadlines on time because i completely lost the will to draw, which actively began to terrify me. and then once i started struggling to bathe and brush my teeth i was like "okay. something is really really wrong". so then i started the process of getting off.
that's the broad overview. i did not realize the extent of the damage it was causing me until i started getting it out of my system:
my sleep schedule was destroyed bc it gave me terrible insomnia.
night sweats. NIGHT SWEATS.
theres been a rash on my face for over a year that ive thrown EVERYTHING at to try to get rid of, thinking it was anything from lupus to a yeast infection. it turns out its just caused by the pill. it goes away when theres less in my system o_o
my lip was also split for a year. my gums were covered in sores. and the inside of my nose felt like someone put a weed whacker in there and sliced it up. huge scabs. constantly in tiny flecks of pain. miserable but not unbearable, you know?
pussy felt like sandpaper.
i didnt even notice this until later but it also made me fail to derive pleasure from the touch of another person. but like i wanted to. if someone held me or squeezed my hand it felt almost painful. shit made no sense but you just think "this isnt how its supposed to feel? whats wrong with me?". but like that's over. it stopped. it feels good again.
food tasted bad. and i dont mean no flavor i mean BAD. i say this a lot but i cannot understate how fucked it made my palate. its normal again thank god. i have a bag of coffee that tastes different depending on when the last time i took a pill was. i spent the last year complaining about how bad processed food tastes now like all companies decided to make their product bad instead of something being wrong with me specifically. but when adam's cooking started to taste bad i was like "wait. what? thats not possible". lol thanks honey for helping me realize....
this one is really weird: it would cause specific parts of my body to feel stiff. the worst and most chronic part was the small of my lower back, which felt pulled taught so tight it was uncomfortable. then it spread to the fingers of my right hand, causing me to have to stop every few minutes and scrunch my fingers to try to alleviate it. this symptom only returns after i take a dose now. it makes me thrash like a fish trying to get comfortable at night
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𝔥𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔨 .
summary ;; — you fell asleep whilst doing homework, and wolf was nice enough to attempt to do it for you.
featuring + contains ;; — wolf keum x gn! reader.
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⋆*･ﾟ: :✧*⋆ ･ﾟ
you were bored out of your mind and exceedingly tired at the same time, but you cared about your studies and not procrastinating, unlike a certain person you were currently laying on.
you had your head laying in his lap, a notebook and pen in your hands as you lazily took notes of the movie you were watching. you could recite the lines of the actors off by heart due to the many times you had revised and studied the movie. your teacher seemed to really want to traumatise you and engrave it into your brain by forcing you and your class to rewatch it and take notes on the " symbolism " and " hidden meanings " behind the movie for homework, adding on that your notes should be full, analytical and fill up atleast 8 whole pages. how fun.
wolf on the other hand, was also bored out of his mind. lucky him for not caring about his education. he resorted to scrolling mindlessly on his phone than going through the same pain you were by watching the sad excuse of a movie.
you got a few notes down, bullet points that you would transform into proper key points later. you were already dozing off at this point, too tired to keep your eyes properly open as you half heartedly kept them from closing. you pen lazily dragged across the paper in a messy scrawl, you didnt really see or even understand what you were writing at this point.
it didnt take long before you gave up on fighting to stay awake, because even if you did, you doubted you'd even be able to focus anyway. you lazily set your notebook and pen down, readjusting yourself into a comfortable position and shutting your eyes slowly as you fell asleep within seconds.
it took around 10 minutes for him to realise you were asleep, based on how steady and slow your breathing was and that you're pen and paper were set on the bed. his brows furrowed as he saw your shitty notes. and he thought he had bad handwriting. he couldn't read anything you had ' written ', and he doubted you'd wake up to redo you're work anytime soon. if he didn't know any better, he'd think you were dead with how you were napping on his lap like a log.
he sighed, you were lucky he felt nice and carefree today. he put down his phone and picked up the notebook and pen, deciding to start paying attention to the movie. he could see why you fell asleep, it was unbelievably boring. he definitely wasn't used to using his mind for things that didn't include typical delinquent drama and bashing peoples faces in. he didn't know how you bothered to actually do the homework your teachers set, either.
his lips formed a thin line as he brushed hair out of your face and got to work. more like writing down whatever seemed logical in his illogical mind.
a little while later, you woke up, realising the movie had ended and you had let your tiredness get the better of you. you sighed at the thought of having to rewatch the movie again. you got up from your human sofa, " hey pretty, do you know where i put my notebook before i fell asleep? " you asked as he internally groaned at the nickname, " i did it for you when you fell asleep. "
" did what? " you asked as he shrugged, " your homework. " you stared at him for a moment before laughing, " what? wolf keum doing homework? someone elses at that? isn't doing peoples homework something for.. what do delinquents call them? shuttles? " you lay your head on his shoulder, teasing as he flicked your forehead, " be grateful i saved you from that terrible movie."
you couldn't lie, he saved you big time from a fate as terrifying as that.
you spotted your book on the bedside table as you picked it up, flipping to the page you were doing the work on as you were met with messy, boyish handwriting taking over from your own messy writing. you're handwriting was pretty neat when you weren't half dead, but you couldn't say the same for when you actually felt like you would never wake up again due to exhaustion.
you read over the notes as you snort, " wolf, what the fuck?? you wrote that he killed her because he wanted her eyes?? " you ask as you stare at him while he shrugs nonchalantly, " he complimented her eyes earlier in the movie, it makes sense. "
" and that jodie swallowing an apple seed refers to her family because of family trees, because of people saying an apple tree grows inside of you when you swallow a seed?? " you recite what he's written, " its a good explanation, i've summarised the meaning enough. "
" oh god. im signing you up for my study group. "
he lightly tugs on your hair, " don't you dare. "
you ended up giving in the ' work ' he did anyways, you really couldn't be bothered to rewatch the 4 hour long movie and do the work yourself. unsurprisingly, your teacher wasn't very impressed, but it was funny enough.
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#wolf keum#weak hero#weak hero x gender neutral reader#weak hero union#weak hero webtoon#weak hero x reader#webtoon comics#webtoon#weak hero wolf keum
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i miss parker do you also miss parker (this is a request to hear more about your megan + parker interps)
omg...thank you for handing me the mic im so touched
the answer is yes! i do miss parker macmillan. i also miss megan ito! i miss them both so much. (also i feel deranged how it is confirmed that the book was the reader but im keeping my megan ito as reader thoughts forever!!!!)
i mainly focus on their relationship / megan ito more than just solely parker, but thats just how i go i suppose! parker to me kinda works in my brain how i believe that megan ito would exactly see him, and its kinda fitting in that way? (i do feel bad for that though) (im also paging @citadarkisle because hes my fiance and my parker interp is *heavily* based off his! he got more indepth thoughts on parker than i could ever muster)
so the way megan would describe parker would be this: a broken player who is a rival both and a friend, and full of *potential* melded up in one ball! with one issue: the parent issues. at least, thats how megan ito summarizes him and his issues. she kinda molds him into her narrative and makes him ripe for the saving and for the salvation that she truly believes she can bring to him.
parker in the meanwhile is kinda...passive to this? she isnt particularly harmful to him, and just having his boundaries be, as he would maybe describe, *gently* walked and trampled all over isnt really as bad compared to the literal hell his life is with being pulled at ten million directions and somehow being hated and revered at the same time... so like megan? yeah shes kinda like...maybe agreeable to that.
they have a roommates situation at megans place which is kinda pathetic-sad. awkward, quiet nights sleeping in the same bed because their relationship is like........ .............. incalculable. there is admiration there, but wrong? its to the left. there are arguments and boundaries crossed, but never to the point where they ever break off their friendship. and even saying *friendship* is odd. they were friends, yes! but then they got into a weird grey area........
i dont think theyve ever held hands or kissed or brushed arms or anything like that, actually. i dont think theyve had the silent-love filled room moments where they lock eyes and are smitten or like, believe that each other held love for each other. i think they knew they were in some *position* but not sure what it was. i mean they sure as hell were something more than basic friends. i think parker had normal friends somewhere in his teams! and megan too! but oh my god i think they were just in an interlocked battle that parker want *nothing* with but megan just had the fixation to keep holding him on.
i believe that megan is at heart a kind person and didnt mastermind the stolen forcefield out of ill will. i saw that action as a last resort for her. that she was willing to put their friendship on the line to make *visible* change in parkers life. she had an infatuation with fixing his issues, to finally pull him out of his shell, and to be *right* most of all. its kinda why i draw megans gaze towards the symbolic *orb* whenever i draw them together. i just love the symbolism of her being so fixated on something that doesnt exist, or doesnt need to exist, or that she never really properly took his words or history or anything truly to heart because she *felt* for his *situation* more than *him*.
you ever feel compelled to solve something for someone else? a problem that is so deep and beyond your means but feels so *tangible*? that youd do anything and would throw yourself into it to finally have it accomplished? to solve it *for* them, because you think you can see it from the outside and that gives you the authority and allows you to rob them their agency? these are the sort of questions that i play around with the parker + megan relationship as a whole....
i hope this wasnt too long!!! id love to elaborate more on specific details if anyones curious, but yeah! thank you ; - ;
#megan ito#parker macmillan#blaseball#not art#thank you again ;_;7 i love talking about these two theyre my blorbos#ESPECIALLY megan......yes im a megan apologist. but in the fun way you know?#i also want to add that as someone with ocd that my megan interps helped me with this realization that i actually lived with obsessive-#thoughts my entire life and this just......yeah! i put a lot of brain power into these twos relationship ;_;#blaseball tag
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Different person here. I agree with some of your points, but AM coming for the physical battle itself looks good in paper but when you take into account his arc it doesnt really doest (imo).
As you said, you dont need a quirk or be a battler to be hero. Hatsume and the saving of Eri by music are a amazing examples. You even acknowledge that. But AM coming to fight literally counteracts all of those points. His arc after Kamino always has been about if he can be hero without his quirk. He felt useless BECAUSE he couldnt fight the villains head on. And now he is fighting the villain head on 😐
AM encoureging Shoto, Iida, Deku and being a symbol of heroism and inspiration was the true heroics and not the fighter AM, and Stain said that to him. He trowing himself into a fight he cant win just summons a DarkDeku vibe where he is centering all of his value in being a sacrifice/fighter/purpose and not the inspiring force or a person he was building up to. Anyone could be the big and strong wall AM was back then but not everyone could be a Toshinhori Yagi and this is Deku's arc. Anyone could be the number one hero like AM was but not everyone can be the symbol of hope Toshinori Yagi was and this is Enji's arc. Anyone could stand there and be a distraction to AFO like everyone at Gunga but they arent Toshinori Yagi, a force who is able to inspire Iida and Shoto to keep going. Toshinori fighting AFO here is being AM the hero tasked with beating AFO and ending his terror, and not Toshinori Yagi the person who guides the next generation and gives them support beyond the physical and pratical form. Granted, this could change on Hori's execution but this goes for everything in fiction. Like, i would love if this AM was a hologram. It would be so fucking funny to see AFO's dumb face raging on that.
You dont need to fight ppl to save ppl, and AM is shrinking his value AGAIN to fight ppl to be a hero. Not taking into account all the vestige stuff it could lead to, but if his idea is to die so he could help Deku inside OFA just makes this even worse bcs he is shrinking himself to OFA. This is where i think these ppl where/are coming from.
When i first read the chapther i was so hyped but when i analyzed it better it didnt make sense with AM's arc or the whole vibe of even if you are not a fighter you could be a hero.
If it looked like i had a sharp a tone it was not my intention. English is not my first language and sometimes i have a harder time in expressing myself.
I get what you are saying, but I disagree. All Might didn’t put on an armoured suit to lead the troops into battle. He didn’t steal Deku’s or Endeavor’s or whoever’s role.
He planned and stayed in command center until things went really downhill. He only moved to join the physical fight as a last resort and we still don’t even know if there is more to his plan.
But most importantly, the reason he is an inspirational figure is precisely because he does this. Because he can’t not take the risk or make the sacrifice.
Right now, it seems like the choice was to throw Shouto at AFO, knowing full well that his mind is elsewhere, plus that if he doesn’t go to Gunga, his family will die or All Might tries to do it himself.
He chose not to sacrifice Shouto and all the people at Gunga and make a stand himself. It sounds like his plan is to play for time and taunt AFO. It’s a reasonable plan. He’s got a much better chance at engaging AFO than nearly anyone else.
If they had a lot of options, I’d agree that he’s acting foolish. But right now, it seems to me that he’s taking the same risks as everyone else, and to me, that’s how he can stay authentic. (And not the kind of old guy leader who rests on the merits of a glorious past, and send children into a meat grinder while he takes on the role of the inspirational leader. Honestly, if you look around the world today, you can see exactly these kind of people… I don’t want All Might to become this kind of relic…)
Idols / gods can and do fall from the pedestal.
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We are in Uganda! My body is a little confused sleepiness wise, but I am in a great mood. I think for this week I'm just going to write when I have downtime throughout the day, and post before bed. But that way I'm not forgetting anything and also not having to sit and write for an hour when I'm presumably tired from all the activities.
And while there are lots of things, we have been told that this is a place where things move slower, and to expect that. Which is fine with me, I have no real plan or schedule. I just want to have some experiences. Whatever that means.
I was able to get some sleep last night on the plane but after I did my post on our layover on Rwanda I was mostly awake. Our party was playing a card game during the layover and being a little loud and the woman in front of me and James was so mad about it. Like we get it, were all tired, but this is the last stretch and we will need to wake up a bit.
It's a little funny though that it's just so clear how American we are. I was worried about being to much but everyone in this group is so loud and boisterous and happy. Once we finally touched down in Uganda everyone was clapping and cheering and we got some looks. But we were just so happy to be off the plane.
My first impression of Uganda was humid but sweet smelling. It was a cool humid. Like I was still hot but it was with an undercurrent of coolness.
We got all gathered before we headed to immigration. It was very warm in that room but I was in a good mood. I was gross and very very ready to get to our room and get a shower. But that would come in time. First we had to get our visas approved.
The man who did mine was very nice. I was not prepared to have my picture taken but I didnt look to crazy. I was surprised that it is a whole sticker with my face on it inside my passport. But still very neat.
Once I was through I went to collect me and James's suitcases. Which thankfully made it without damage. They were slightly wet from the rain but I was just glad they were here safe. Everyone else would slowly trickle in and get their luggage. And they were all loud and excited. Clapping for us as we started coming through. The staff seemed a little shocked. Probably a combination of how early it was but also just being Americans. I texted Jess that everyone knew we were Americans and she said "the horror" which like. Yes. Embarrassing. Being known!
We would all have to get together to get on the little bus that Paul and Sam had coordinated. We got to meet Sam's uncle Joe who seems super nice. Everyone so far we have met has lovely smiles. I just want to make friends with everyone.
When we got outside my first big impression was that it is humid and smells nice. It was 430 am and I was having fun talking to Paula's sister Sydney about how me and James were able to bring so little bags. Everyone else has huge huge suitcases. I am always proud of how little I pack. It's a point of pride. Though now that we are in the country I do wish I had some different shoes. But shoes are always a struggle for me in travel. But everything else is perfect. And it was fun to discuss.
Getting all 19 of us on this little bus with the suitcases though just straight up wasn't going to happen. So uncle Joe would take all the carry ons and the big luggage would travel on the bus and we were able to squeeze everyone on. And we began the 40 minute drive to the resort.
We got to see interesting things right away. There is huge jackfruit growing all over. The buildings we saw were made of a late of tin and there are a lot of fences and security around things like the schools. We saw some stray dogs. Seeing vendors starting to set up for their day. I wanted to eat all of the foods. I was very excited to try as much as I can.
The drive was nice. We had the windows open. The breeze was great. And there was a lot of chatting and laughing and being silly. We were all so excited to go get clean and get some rest.
When we finally arrived the van struggled to get up the hill. We all were joking about having to lean into it or we would have to get out and push. But we made it there! And then through security.
We got all of our bags scanned. And then we were inside. It was so pretty! We had to give them out passports and visas to check in but we would get them back with our room keys. We had to wait about a half hour but we were all just chilling. Watching breakfast get set up. And discussing the day. We were all excited to hear new bird songs! As the world was waking up it was just so fun hearing birds we have never heard before.
We got our room key and James tried to lead the way but we went the completely wrong way. Oops. So we went back down and one of the staff walked us to our building which was a little down the way. And it was beautiful.
The room was not layed out the way I had pictured but not in a bad way. We have a balcony!! I am so excited about that. And the view is incredible. Like I am blown away. We can see Lake Victoria and some houses and trees and hills and I was just. Absolutely blown away.
We waited until our bags were delivered to take showers. But man was a shower amazing. I got my hair damp to put more conditioner in because the humidity is making me very fluffy. But I know I will just have to accept some amount of fluffy. I did bring my hot brush but I'm not to worried.
We finished getting dressed. Bug spray. Sun screen. And then breakfast!
We headed downstairs and others from our group were there. And I was excited to try things. Buffet was the best idea.
I want to try all the juices. Today I tried watermelon juice which was very nice. I got scrambled egg whites and their local potatoes which were fabulous. I tried a potato curry too which was great with the eggs. I did not like the roasted tomato but jersey tomatoes spoil me for most other tomatoes. I got to try watermelon yogurt which was great. I also tried a passion fruit and papaya. They were fine. But my favorite was the tree tomatoes. I had 4 of them. They tasted like really lovely sour candy. Incredible.
After breakfast we would go look at the plants and bugs. I took some pictures. But then we headed back to the room to rest.
We didn't plan on sleeping but we would sleep until almost 230 in the afternoon. And I was worried that it will mess up the sleep schedule later but this would be fine and was actually a really lovely sleep.
When we woke up I was in a good mood. The general plan was to meet the group at 4 to go to Sam's parents. But that would get moved to 7. So we had time to chill.
First we would stop at another room so James could get measured. I chatted with Uncle Joe and he laughed when I said how beautiful everything is and he was like you haven't even seen anything yet! But I did see the biggest snail I have ever seen in my life so I was still riding that high.
We went for a walk around the gardens. I would point out every bug and bird and small critters I could see. We found more jackfruit. And walked through the playground which has a full trampoline??? We would head down to the gift course, not quite on the lake but closer then we had been. I am just constantly amazed at how beautiful it is here. I can't wait to see more.
We joined friends at the bar and we're all fascinated by the conversion rate. My Pepsi with 8000 shillings! I hope to get some money to bring home as souvenirs. A lot of places will take us dollars and give you back Ugandan change but the dollars have to be nice and not torn or ugly.
Everyone here is so beautiful so far. The fabrics and cuts and everything has been so neat to see. I just want to people watch. And we would get those chances.
After we left the bar we wandered a little longer. And went back to our room to change into our nicer outfits. We would go and hang out in the atrium for a bit. James read on their tablet. I worked on some embroidery. Chatting and people watching. Paul's parents would come down and Paul Sr would show us some of the beautiful pictures he took this morning. We are all just having such a lovely time so far.
Me and James came back to the room and set up on the balcony. I cut more bracelet string. They read. We keep going "woah!!!" Whenever a bird flys by. And now we are heading to find the group again for the welcome party!
It actually took a while to get everyone together to leave for the party. We would meet everyone at the bar. Where I was invited to take shots but I declined. I still enjoyed saying shots shots shots.
It was a bit like herding cats. We would end up in someone's room pregaming and laughing. It has been really nice to be with the girls. I really like them. They are all so pretty and cool. And it's just been so nice talking to them.
When we finally found Paul and Sam and everyone was gathered we would get on the bus. One of the boys was almost left behind but he hustled and we were off to the compound.
And when Sam said compound she meant compound. We would drive through a market, almost all of the trip here was on dirt roads. It was fascinating. More tin buildings. Lots of people. Markers and children and dogs and so many motorcycles. The aspects of poverty are here, and from an anthropology angle it's fascinating, from a human angle I am not sure how to talk about it. I don't want to come across as patronizing, but I'm observing as an outsider from a place of privilege. I am fascinated by the society we have seen. It feels so far removed and different that I am just taking everything in best I can.
We started arriving at the compound and we were all surprised by how bumpy the roads were and that the tall concrete walls had barbed wire on the top. Someone made a comment about is it to keep people in or out? And how it is a little painful to see people have to fear their own community. But once we were past the gate we were in a paradise again.
It's dark out so we can't see to much of the grounds but the house Sam's parents have built is incredible. It's all clean lines and arches and lights. And as soon as we got here (after taking our shoes off to leave outside) we were greeted with hugs. And everyone has been so lovely.
Drinks and dancing and music and laughing. I got to give Sam's family the bracelets I made for them. And I have had some wonderful talks. Everyone is drinking and so happy and it's great. I am so happy for Sam and Paul. And the beautiful families they are bringing together. Like I could cry I am so happy for them.
And tonight has been so fun. I obviously did not eat the meat but James said it was amazing. One of the guys, Gabe, said it was incredible and James thought they were exaggerating but they were not. Everything I did have was so good. More potatoes and a slaw that was red and a salsa and avocado and naan. I also tried the papaya juice and it was all so fresh tasting. I would have liked a sauce of some kind because I like dips but I was still enjoying it so much.
I have been trying to just be very present. But as people are chilling and the dancing has calmed down (I was enjoying dancing too!!) and the speaker just died I wanted to get this finished up. I am not sure when the night will be over. But I'm really happy. This first day was so good. I can't wait to see what tomorrow is like.
I love you all. Until next time! Goodnight!
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rambling about the fell xenologue royals bc i can ↓ spoilers for the entire dlc
okay first off im gonna say its a missed opportunity to not give them alternative designs bc then even if someone didnt like the story they could be like well at least i got to see goth alfred or something. im not a character designer nor am i good at fashion but id say firene have a more muted colour pallette, with like navy blues and grey rather than the bright blue of their coat of arms. brodia less flashy. i love the armour of brodia its very cool but doesnt super suit their ideals in this au. ivy in purple and golds contrasted to hortensia in just like. white idk. make her look like a commoner. and solm also less flashy. maybe like mustard yellow colours. idfk. someone can probably do this better than me.
anyway i am firene biased but i really liked the idea of alfred being more of a figurehead whilst céline is actually the one in control. yes this isnt outright said but i think its kinda implied from how alfred seems kinda nervous and depressed and is like "i have no idea how to be a king" whilst céline is like "alfred if you dont approve this invasion im just going to do it myself". even at the end where theyre "redeemed" céline says "i am here to support you, alfred. lets head back so you can rest, hm?" which just seems like our céline right? when alfred was dying she studied and prepared herself to be the new heir in case he passed away and she had to inherit the throne, but after his recovery she instead dedicated herself to supporting him the best she can, as well as focusing herself on taking care of the more unsavoury parts of ruling. but i think from everything we've seen about céline in this world, she's still just taking charge. céline is proud and angry, alfred is unconfident and depressed. and céline loves alfred so much that she's basically controlling him. she's not the opposite of our céline, she's just gone to the extreme.
contrasting this with the relationship of alcryst and diamant. like Alfred and céline, diamant is not confident and alcryst is proud and thinks himself more suited to leading. i dont think its ever said why their personalities are like this (other than rafal like controlling them and stuff) but its my headcanon ever since the trailer came out that perhaps morion died much earlier in this universe, where alcryst was too young to remember. so diamant grew up with one of his biggest fears being true, and i dont imagine bereavement counselling would be too realised in fire emblem universe, so it kinda manifested into extreme anxiety maybe causing the people around him to give up on him becoming a strong king, instead resorting to grooming alcryst to be the way he is. and alcryst seems to be planning to kill diamant and take the throne himself (i think diamant even has fears about this if u fight him with alcryst). alcryst instead of having a inferiority complex has a superiority complex bc everyone in this universe is like "diamant is so useless as a king, you 'd be much more suited alcryst" really showing how your environment can shape you.
for ivy first off i have to say, her and zelkov being besties in the alternate universe is literally so fucking funny. more importantly i've seen some people saying "oh she's like how we all thought she'd be before the game came out!" which i dont really agree with? bc everyone thought she'd a camilla clone right? but i'd argue the most important part of camilla's character is that she loves her siblings and will protect them no matter what which alt ivy is Definitely not doing. this ivy also hates poor people and values her devotion to the fell dragon above all else. like ofc a big part of our ivy is her devotion to the divine dragon, but it's also very important to her character that she prioritises her subjects above all else (i think the givre port chapter highlights this, wanting to hurry to help people who are alive rather than clear the port of the corrupted), but alt ivy is too busy trying to revive sombron and slaughtering the solm army to care about who dies. and hortensia. oh my dear sweet baby girl i fucking CRIED at alt hortensia vs ivy oh my godddddddddssdd. it seems ivy inherited at lot of her mother's beliefs in this universe and hates hortensia and has also killed all of her other half siblings hahaha :'). anyway hortensias abuse from her sister seems to have really impacted her self worth. and i think "parents died much earlier" should also be taken for the elusians as well bc hortensia got a lot of her confidence learning from her mother right? one thing that sorta sucks is hortensia vs. goldmary being like "the three of us wanted to stand out" whilst shes standing there in her fucking silly little clown outfit and decked out pegasus, so once again, alt designs would have really elevated the dlc imo. anyway alt hortensia i am giving u a big hug my baby i love you🫂
and onto solm. okay im sorry but timerra was so lame. they could have really done something cool with her being serious, stoic, and essentially robotic in her rule but its literally just "merrin what are you talking about you hate animals! and im a vegetarian and i hate singing! and panette you hate ghosts!" and like that is the extent of it. they didnt even bother to explain what solm was like in this universe and feels like they just added her into the elusia chapter to be like "look three way battle! just like three houses!!! you guys loved three houses right???" im sorry timerra they did u so dirty :/. fogado on the other hand. ough its so good. so fogado is dead (theyre all dead technically but fogado is dead dead and aware it) and instead of travelling the country to aid timerra he's instead working directly for rafal as assassin, and is implied to hate timerra (he says something like "i always wished i would be the one to kill my sister but i guess i'll to settle for killing her lookalike" in his vs. timerra dialogue). and i dont this this dislike is mutual (alt timerra says she wants to hug fogado in her vs. him dialogue iirc). this fogado seems to be more... bloodthirsty ig and less into the like. sneaky fighting he does in our universe. he mentions in his conversation with bunet that bunet is a brute on the battlefield (alt!bunet neurotypical confirmation where?) and fogado seems really fixated on how bunet looked covered in his own blood. we know that our fogado is actually very scared about the war underneath his friendly persona from his supports with pandreo, but alt fogado seems much more emotionless about it. in fact this might tie into solm in this universe thinking about it, instead of being free they all repress their emotions or something, bc even though alt fogado still talks in a sorta lighthearted candace, if a little more intense sounding and sounds Especially off whilst reminiscing on bunet and pandreo's deaths. his final death quote being "im not scares. ive died twice now... whats one more time?" sure okay buddy i believe you.
thats about it for my thoughts. tbh i wish we got more screentime with these guys. nel and rafal and the winds are great dont get me wrong but i wish they had focused a bit more on the royals and how they are different to how they are in our universe (even tho there are a lot of unique boss convos with them most of the ones I've seen were not super interesting or insightful :/and you definitely cant get all of them in a single playthrough im pretty sure). sorry for the long post ty if u read this far🫶
#engage spoilers#fell xenologue spoilers#fire emblem engage#too lazy to tag everyone sowwy :/#long post under the cut btw
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Kit's Diary
Chapter 16
Dear Ty,
I'm sorry I didn't write anything for the last few days. I was so exhausted from all the trips we made, that I fell asleep the moment I went to bed and didn't even think about you. Well, lies, I still think about you. Your ghost still haunts me in my dreams. (Ok stop with the cheesiness Kit! That happens, when you listen to Taylor Swift too much!) What I mean is, that I still think about you in every spare minute and I still miss you, but when I think about you it doesn't hurt as much. First I was scared that I would fall out of love with you and loose all my feelings for you, but I talked with Tessa about this and she said that she feels the same with Will, but that doesn't mean that she loves him any less than when he was alive. It's just that she got so used to thinking about Will and the pain that comes with it, that she got used to it. And I got so used to the fact that I can't be with you right now and have so much else to do, that it doesn't hurt as much. Just like when a child gets vaccinated and the doctor distracts them while giving them the shot. The needle is still there, but it doesn't hurt as much.
But enough about me still pining for you. Surely you want to know what I did the last few days. Or you don't. But I'm telling you anyways because this is still a diary.
So, on Tuesday we rented bikes at the holiday resort and then rode them to the neighbouring town Knokke which is in Belgium. There we went first to a museum about the birds that live in the area. It was very interesting. You would probably like it here. The first part of the museum was inside and you could do a test, how much you know about the birds while learning new things about them. In the end, you can print out your result. Afterwards, you can go into a park outside, where you can watch some of the birds. There, we met some experts who gave the young birds trackers around their feet to be able to locate them later. In a hut that was build in the beach area we found another bird expert, who didn't work at the park but still explained some interesting things to us. Sadly, I didnt really understand much, but I'm sure you would have understood everything. After the walk through the park, we also walked through the national park, which is located right across the border between Belgium and the Netherlands. On the walk we encountered some cows (?), that were laying around right on the walking path. No, they didn't run away from their farmer, they just live in the national park. So, we hesitantly walked by the cows, when Mina had the glorious idea to run to the biggest of the cows and pet it. I really thought it would get annoyed or scared and try to attack Mina, but apparently a little human is not scary enough for them, so it let her pet its face. Then a little cow also let me pet it. It was so cute. I even forgot to take a picture of it, but I'm pretty sure one of my pare Jem or Tessa took one. I will ask them. When we finished the walk, we were able to enter the museum again to go all the way up to its roof so we could take a look at the whole are surrounding the building. They also installed these big binoculars where you have to pay a few cents to use it for five minutes. Naturally, that's exactly what Mina wanted to do, so we all took turns with the binocular. There are many fields surrounding the museum and we could even spot some more cows on another field, but I'm pretty sure they were another breed, as they seemed to have black fur.
Then, Mina complained about being hungry, so we ate at the Café, which is located in the same building. We all ordered hot chocolate and some waffles, since Belgium is famous for its waffles. Which they deserve, to be honest.
(Omg, as I'm writing this, I can hear some cats fighting outside of my window. They sound so funny. Haha. Oh no, my laughing scared them away. Sorry, cats.)
Anyways, back to Tuesday. After eating the waffles, we paid, and rode our bikes to the beach, where Mina and I swam in the sea again and collected a lot of shells.There are these beautiful, long onesn that I absolutely have to show you and we even found one that looked like a sunset.
In the afternoon we went back home, where Tessa taught me how to cook spaghetti, while Mina run around the house, very proudly displaying the knowledge of how to pronounce "binoculars" and showed the plush dove, that she bought in the gift shop of the museum around the house. After dinner I was very tired and immediately went to bed. Mina joined me to cuddle and I guess we both fell asleep. Tessa found us and took a photo of us, which I'm not going to show you. Like never ever. It's very embarrassing. I drooled so hard on the cushion. Ew.
(Just found out that one of the fighting cats outside was Church. He looked at me with such an angel face I got another laughing fit. Haha)
On Wednesday morning we decided to do something calm that day, so we just went to the shops and bought some postcards and a small kite for Mina. I also bought a blue cap and a hoodie. Sadly, the only hoodie that would fit me was pink, but since I don't possess any toxic masculinity, I bought it anyway.
Lucky for Mina and her kite, it was very windy, so we went to the beach afterwards and managed to fly the kite. We had packed some sandwiches, so we spend the whole day at the beach and ate ice cream on the way home. After dinner I almost immediately fell asleep again.
Yesterday, we went to Sluis, which is a small town a few kilometres away from Cadzand, where we explored the shops and took a look at the old windmill in the middle of the town. I bought a snow globe in the gift shop. Also, the church there is apparently getting turned into a house to live in, like Shadowhunters do it for their institutes. Maybe it will be an institute some day.
In the afternoon, when we returned home, we saw two bunnies in a garden that looked time they were kissing each other and shortly afterwards a whole bunny family. Obviously I had to take pictures. At home, we wrote post cards for the people we know and when I brought them to the post office, I saw a postcard in a shop with a drawing of two bunnies kissing. I don't know why, but I bought it and another stamp, and WROTE YOU A POSTCARD. Yes. A postcard. No, I don't know what was wrong with me at that moment, but I put it into the postbox before I could rationally think about it and panic. I did that when I returned home. So yeah, if you received a postcard with two kissing bunnies on it, that was me.
Anyways, here are some of the pictures I took in the last days: (loads of bunnies, some of the cows, a windmill and the church I was talking about)
Now I have to go, because we're going to a town called Breskens today.
Lots of love (and kissing bunnies)
Kit ♡
Author's note:
Here I am, back from the dead. And not even on a Monday. Embarrassing. I was so stressed the last few weeks, that I forgot to continue writing. And the next few weeks, I have some exams, so I don't think there will be a lot of updates following this one until September. But don't worry, afterwards I will hopefully update every Monday again.
#shadowhunters#cassandra clare#the shadowhunter chronicles#the wicked powers#tsc#the dark artifices#kit herondale#kit x ty#christopher herondale#christopher jonathan herondale#kit herondale x ty blackthorn#kit blackthorn#kit rook#kit herondale carstairs#kit ty#ty herondale#ty blackthorn#tiberius nero blackthorn#tiberius blackthorn#kit's diary#sluis#cadzand#knokke#vacation#bunnies
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headcanons about the bitch
check it, this might be updated at times
(look at @brokendownangxl 4 story relevant posts quickly)
veronica lee crabtree (yes that is her actual middle name) is 58 years old.
she did die, but was brought back to life by mistake by mephesto and kevin. they meant to do it to someone else but they are fucking dumbasses
now she is back in her home with her bird
veronica grew up near the border of middle park and south park (on the middle park side, but within view of a south park sign)
when she was younger she had a husband who died. a few weeks after he died their baby was born. her name was maggie.
veronica tried her best to care for the baby, but made the horrible mistake one day of briefly leaving her outside alone to pick up the phone. she instantly came back out and saw maggie was gone.
she spent years searching for her daughter. she still does not know her status. however, recently there was an anon on the blog who seems to be her, revealing she has had a good life and is now in college. this has overjoyed veronica, though she is still a bit unsure.
the bird was an egg when veronica found it. she took it home and hatched it herself, and kept it as her pet. it's her closest companion.
recently, ms crabtree has started hanging around liane cartman more. they have been bonding over being alone.
ms crabtree has messed up views on homosexuality. she claims to hate it but really does not want to care. she has a lot of internalized homophobia. she wants to be supportive but it stops her.
ms crabtree is bi like literally every sp character but has a harder time coming to terms with it
insecure about her weight. she has been overweight her entire life. her mother did not have much access to food growing up, so she gave veronica a lot to make up for it. unfortunately this caused her to have a warped diet
ms crabtree yells all the time because the bus is so loud, causing her to have to yell and get attention. most of the time she LOOKS and sounds angry but actually is not
veronica's parents fought a lot. she inherited her father's screaming voice
veronica was the only surviving baby the crabtrees had. the others did not make it past birth or their first week.
she was an accident too (of course the baby they didnt even want is the one that lived)
ms crabtree has a hard time sleeping because she has a lot of nightmares and hears voices all the time
sometimes she takes out her old lovey and cries into it when having a really bad night
her teeth are stained yellow mostly due to an obscene intake of sweets and chocolate as her comfort foods. she (surprisingly) rarely smokes. you'll probably never see it when it happens; she does it in private. it's a last resort.
after being resurrected, she went right back to the bus driving position. it's hard finding new work
sometimes she sleeps in flower beds. it never lasts long enough
she was dropped as a baby and you can still see the crack in her skull through an x ray
ms crabtree had her appendix removed and has a scar from it
her right front tooth is split from an accident many years ago
she snores a lot and i mean a LOT.
cannot see very well. i do not know why south park elementary has a woman who is going deaf and blind driving their bus
as a toddler and child, veronica was smaller than average. she was born a bit earlier than expected. she was usually the smallest in a group
but definitely not the lightest
ms crabtree keeps movies and shows she likes on tape in the bus for the little tv
ms crabtree is ambidextrous, actually
she has that gene where no matter how old she gets, how stressed, how whatever, her hair will never fully turn white. (this is based on reality: my dad has this, so did my grandma)
ms crabtree has freckles but they're hard to see
has dyslexia and doesn't know
did not have the best education growing up (she didn't know what an elephant was)
ms crabtree has hazel eyes (mostly brown like mine)
sometimes she visits her now abandoned childhood home
ms crabtree has been spotted yelling at nothing. she has also been seen yelling at trees. she has very very very very bad audio and visual hallucinations.
they are usually what keep her up at night
when her bird falls asleep in her hair, ms crabtree becomes even MORE sensitive to noise and will yell at you if you make a peep. do NOT disturb bird
as shown in city on the edge of forever, roofies have a weird effect on crabtree. instead of making her sleep they make her calm. she must be fed drugs
has stretch marks on her sides and an unusually hairy body
sometimes drives the bus to the fast food place and buys an absurd amount of food and claims it’s “for the kids” when in reality its just her and the bus is empty
after becoming close to liane, crabtree mysteriously has slightly gained weight
crabtree talks a bit differently typing because it is not in person
has constant night terrors (which liane often has to deal with)
that bulge between her legs is probably either old woman crotch fat or her gut
was born with eyebags. just gained more as she grew up
perpetually has lice. it never ends.
has constant stomach aches (because she eats so much processed shit and cant control herself)
needs hugs honestly
feeds the bus bunny regularly
did not wear braces as a child (obviously)
doesn't like leaving things outside. checks a gazillion times at night to make sure she left NOTHING outside
has loose bowels. wets the bed often (sorry
often falls asleep in places she should not be sleeping in, such as the bus or her rocking chair. when in her bed however, she is awake as ever
ms crabtree gets very very very bad chills sometimes. especially when she feels sick (surprise that is also a rather common occurence)
has insane back zits
#ooc#headcanons#WELL IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME I MADE THIS#south park rp#veronica crabtree#south park#i might make additional hc posts but centered on different times specifically
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I am fascinated by your character of Tankhun. At first I liked him for his compassionate nature and pitied him for his own fate. But now his many facets become clear. He is a true son of his father. He uses his own feelings as well as those of others to manipulate. I believe he likes Pete and wants good for him but, like a good liar who mixes truth with lies, he nevertheless spins his intrigue also to Pete's detriment.
When Pete cries on his chest I could have shouted at him: Don't do this! Don't believe a word he says, not one more loving gesture, Pete!"
His character melts away like water between my hands. I can't grasp him. Is there anything tangible, real left in him?
oh thank you!!! yes all of that is true!!! we can contain multitudes!!! and tbh i wanted to show more of the complex side of Tankhun which i believe they hinted at a bit in the show but didnt explore as much as they could have!
like out of all the family he definitely presents as the nicest if a bit eccentric and i do think some of that can be a mask sometimes! he definitely likes pete and wants the best for him but he also wants to go after vegas and make him suffer a little. the only issue is trying to figure out how to do that without impacting pete.
oh no!! i mean youre totally right to be suspicious but i really dont see tankhun as that cruel. he's thoughtless at times and anxious and severely controlling of his bodyguards (i think as a coping mechanism to make him feel safe when hes been kidnapped and traumatised so many times tbh) but i do think in the heavy moments like that he cant help but be present and comfort pete with sincerity. which is partially why he took the initiative to tell kinn everything (because it was something that was continually hurting pete and the problem clearly wasnt going away otherwise).
i really like how you've described him here because i think thats an entirely significant part of his personality. like compare him to the rigidity of his bothers and his cousins, tankhun has learned to be fluid. to adapt and change within each situation mostly in distracting ways that can mask his intentions or the true feelings by hiding behind overly dramatic ones. i truly see that as a survival tactic because he doesnt seem to resort to physical violence or weapons like the others, this is his own kind of weapon if that makes sense. like it feels like when he's having his tantrums as a grown man in wonderful eye catching clothing everyone else around him can't help but feel embarrassed or cringe away from him or in kinn's case become extra patient and indulgent.
i think he learned to be loud like this because once they passed him over as heir everyone completely ignored him and he lost a lot of power and respect that had automatically belonged to him. i think he chooses such incredibly out there clothing because people cant help but see him when he walks into the room. everything about tankhun is an endless struggle in not being forgotten because though i think his family does somewhat understand him they truly havent tried to speak to him on a deep emotional level, havent made the attempt to meet him where his trauma is and thats especially sad. like it seems incredibly obvious to me that he needs help but the culturally accepted ideas around mental health and masculinity make it easier for everyone else to tuck tankhun out of the way instead. and thus make him try so much harder to be noticed.
ah thanks for your question that really made me think!
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I can’t judge if people relate to Wille more and just adore him as a character (I like him too). But it’s truly interesting how just like in the show, in real life people are way more willing to forgive and justify his actions than they would do to Simon. I don’t think that Simon doesn’t understand willhem’s struggles, the whole issue with Simon this season is that he has been hurt and needs space to heal himself and when he’s with Wille (season 1) he always has to be “grown up”, the one who has to be there for him and get what he’s going through. I think that’s the beauty of the series, all the characters go through stuff that makes them act way older than they actually are, but in this season we could see Simon and Wille show that they also are just teenagers who don’t know how to properly express their feelings, get jealous, change their minds, act recklessly.. I loved this season, for me it was very coherent how the building tension between the characters was done. Simme is my favorite and I think people forget his just a teenager who’s been criminally exposed for the whole world (I have soooo many thoughts on how unfair the treatment to Simon is but I don’t want to annoy you😂❤️)
!!! you said this very well. i think it’s one of the biggest beauties of the show and the actors have expressed this as well is how true it is so how complex humans are. edvin himself has explained how he views wille and his decisions this season and yet certain fans are still defending wille to the bone even though disliking some of a characters actions and decisions doesn’t mean you can’t like or support them anymore.
there’s a lot of wille i relate to just as there is a lot of simon i do as well and i very much agree with you! simon did what he NEEDED to, what he thought was best for him to heal, like you’ve said, because wille betrayed him, not because he didn’t understand wille’s situation or where he came from. there’s also the clashing of simon has always taken care of everyone and still tries to, but who really takes care of him? wille hasn’t ever really had anyone to take care of or to take care of him (saying he’s always been lonely even when erik was alive but at least he was THERE) & so neither of them are being looked after or comforted correctly after all of this has gone down & truly only they can understand each other but (as edvin said) wille backtracks and is selfish for a while before he begins to try and understand simon’s situation and emotions and reactions. them being complete teenagers because when emotions run high, as mature as one is/has had to be at a young age (both of them for very different reasons in their respective lives), you resort to not being able to keep things in check and impulsiveness (that wille already heavily struggles with) and it’s so understanding for how they go through the emotions, repression, fights, jealousy, etc. that you mentioned! i agree that i cannot believe people are so willing to defend wille and judge simon (well, that’s a lie, i’m sure we all have a few ideas as to why) and while i love wille’s story line and character arc (even tho i hated his actions and choices at times/things he did or DIDNT do but that’s a whole other plot/writing discussion) i love how edvin portrayed a sixteen year old just absolutely going through it. same for omar. his portrayal of simon was raw and real and is exactly how a sixteen year old, exposed and left on his own, who was falling in love and then slammed into solid ground, would react. anyways simon defender to my grace bby boy did nothing wrong and omar is an incredible actor and anyone who says else is wrong 🥰 as frustrating as it is the season was to show wilmon are never gonna be how they used to, and they both still have a lot of problems with communication, and there was a lot that didn’t happen that i’m still upset about (conversations, softer in between moments, a few more pieces of dialogue in the scenes they did have as they started to be honest with each other, wille standing up for simon) but there was growth to a certain extent and simon was right in asking for honesty and more from wilhelm and people need to realize he’s not the same simon anymore. who would be after all that?? i could keep going to it’s hard to really write it all down but i’m sure you’ll get me! also you’re not annoying at all!! love talking about it <33
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What's your take on Stella?
Personally I find Stella to be a character that's overall very lackluster. As a saturday morning cartoon esque villian she's not over the top enough to be very entertaining when we see here. As a legitimate portrayal of an abuser in a relationship, I find it rather distasteful and sloppy as Stella is simply implied to have been born a little monster child who didn't even care about her own daughter, thats not to say you must resort to trying to make her sympathetic, however if you intend to portray a very serious issue of abuse, you should be doing your research and understand human components to what makes people abusive. Let alone the idea Stella doesnt care for Octavia reads rather hollow of a point when Stolas didnt want to have Octavia as much as he didnt have a choice.
I almost want to say Stella functioned as funny when she came off as a odd take on the nagging wife trope where she's constantly yelling and fighting with Stolas except its from an angle where theyre both in a relationship equivalent to roomates who've lived together for so long that you'd almost mistake them for a couple, except if you asked them they'd in tandem insist they cant stand each other.
A large problem is the writing not being well planned. We know initially Stella being an abuser was not the planned story because Octavia says they used to be in love and clearly has times she looks back on as when they were happy. Now I can speak as someone who's parents had quite the messy and unpleasant divorce and the problem with this is Octavia is in her teens. When you're still young, its easy to look at moments with rose tinted glasses as when your parents were happy, specifically because we grow up with them in our heads as what a happy relationship looks like, but its usually by your teens when your discovering yourself and learning more about the outside world beyond the circle of your immediate family that we learn to look back on moments of our childhood in a different light. Ill keep it from being too personal, but in my younger years while i didnt understand why my parents fought because I had memories of going to the park with them and seeming happy together, in my teens i thought more about how many times I went to bed hearing them yell and break things downstairs because while I didn't do it often, when I did stay at friends houses their parents never fought or at least nothing like mine. And because of this it reads rather inconsistent Octavia is 17 and somehow yet to have realized in retrospect this was a long ways coming, or be rather uncaring about it due to arranged marriages meaning you'd have many unhappy couples meanwhile everyone on the outside of the Goetia circle looks in with a sort of disbelief because marriage is such a expensive and important thing, some people go their whole lives never marrying their loved ones because they hope to save it that money for their children, but people like the Goetias do it all for status and money. But this is about Stella, not Octavia.
If I had a say, I'm not opposed to the idea Stella and Stolas were in an arranged marriage, I think this would be a tragic root of their problems. I imagine because the reason being that this actually is commonplace in the goetia. It's not for money, but it's been very much a practice going back generations that you marry someone of equal status and standing. It's seen as a garuntee you don't marry someone who is only interested in your money or anything else you provide and it's something planned at a young age because it's your parents job to find someone as soon as possible to avoid being out of options at 17. When Stolas and Stella met, they got along, and were childhood best friends, the problem is as they got older and the weight of marrying started becoming something they could process, they found it something they didn't want. Stella was crying in their early teens because she didn't want to end up unhappy like her parents, and Stolas was the one who reassured her they wouldn't be like that and were gonna be different. He promised no matter what happened they'd try to make it work.
And Stella did try, its just that when she caught Stolas cheating of course she felt a lot of things. Angry, lied to, betrayed. This was the guy who told her they were going to try to make it work, and now he was cheating on her. I think Stella would be compelling if she was someone who because of the timing, feels as though Stolas used her for a child and proceeded to throw her out. And so she very much insists upon and teaches Octavia to never rely on men to provide for her but instead to learn to provide for herself and be independent because to Stella, trusting Stolas is what ruined her life.
Stella is someone who due to her limited understanding of Stolas's actions and Stolas's unwillingness to communicate feels wronged by Stolas but ironically despite the twos anger towards each other (Stolas feeling like Stella is choosing not to understand his situation) they both agreed upon not setting up Octavia for an arranged marriage, they've never looked and refuse any offers. I think they would be these sort of rivals in a way that Octavia feels she's being pulled between but the resolution would be them seeing how upset Octavia is and how she feels ignored by both of her parents who spend more time fighting than with her, and its this moment both of them see their daughter upset at them fighting it's somewhat of a wake up call. They dislike eachother but despite their differences, they love her. And its this moment they both realize how they lost sight of what really mattered during all of this. Both of them got so caught up in their emotions and wanting to get back at eachother they never quite thought of how Octavia must have been feeling.
Stories wise this is when their arguments would tone down and we could shuffle in a new big bad guyTM, with Stella and Stolas's arguments now relatively tame where they have the petty argument but they always make sure Octavia isn't their to know about it and largely are focused on whats best for their daughter. I just think overall Stella would be a better character if she was more human, But right now it seems Vivs primary focus is using her to make the fact Stolas cheated on her actually justified, which unfortunately flattens and removes the nuances both should have to come off human.
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oh lord im so fecking sorry for my friend that pulled an essay on you- i didnt know they would add some stuff about the past events until i found out today.
but ig its time ill tell the truth, and its a stupid one honestly. im currently under the weather and starving so i might write a bit shorter than usual.
so, uh. the reason why i was avoiding yall back then, was because- uh-
i felt like i was the last resort, you know, the third, fourth, fifth wheeler in a friend group. this wasnt the first i’ve experienced it. i know i speak a lot and tend to interrupt (truly sorry for that), and sometimes i was told to talk less or just be quiet.
i was also told that i always interrupt every conversation when a common interest was mentioned irl.
i already mentioned it in my blog but im going to say it again, i honestly felt like i have to please everyone on the discord server, that i have to play my cards right to please the many interests of everyone there.
dont get me wrong, i love feeding all of you fics about your fav(maybe slander them in the process too), but over time it felt like i was working hard just for recognition that “hey, im here. i still exist.”
again, this wasnt the first time i’ve experienced this. heck, i wrote like 2-3 fics just for gaile (one of them is diluc), like i was tryna impress for whatever reason. and honestly? i regret feeding gaile now. i dont hate gaile, i just regret writing fics for them.
and yes, im sensitive, i tend to get jealous of petty things, ill admit that. but i try to reason myself that “your moots have lives outside of tumblr, Hana. Of course they won’t notice your work/message/etc.”
honestly sound like im guilt tripping but im genuinely not.
i hated that i have to please people even on the internet, as if i was born to make everyone around me happy, forever making me an afterthought.
like that time where i send out a message that it was also my birthday but was met with silence, so i quickly deleted it out of embarrassment. (gunter and i shared the same birthday, surprisingly.)
and yes, i regret send that ask to you. i really do. sagau villain au has gotten way too stale here, another major reason why i regretted that. and yes it was supposed to be what my friend previously said, but i didnt expect it to blow up and it to become your au.
i often get attacked whenever i mentioned that i was the reason it blew up, but thats selfish of me, i shouldve kept my mouth shut. ahh yes, the good times where my tumblr blogs were too dangerous for me and my former followers. hah
ah flip, i got sidetracked haha. im not seeking for forgiveness, nor am i asking to interact with my former moots again. i came here to tell the truth.
a petty, childish truth.
but we all have flaws no matter how well we hide it.
im under the weather, family and childhood has messed me up, and honestly i feel like ending it all sometimes one way or another.
however, if you do want to interact with me again, feel free to tag me, even if i dont respond much. i wont respond at all if its in pms, im too awkward for that. you can decide whether you want to publish this ask or not, i dont mind.
-Hana
I have no right to say that I can truly understand how you feel since I didn't go through what you had to painfully experience, but I can say that I relate to it.
But, let's not talk about me right now.
You don't have to apologize, it was partially my fault. Your friend must have brought it up to me because I needed to at least know.
If avoiding us was your last resort, then I and I hope the rest of your old mutuals respect your decision. Tumblr may not have a place for you, but you definitely will always have a special seat in my blog.
You've been so strong after facing so much unnecessary hate. If you've experienced such hurtful comments about you supposedly interrupting someone else, unintentionally or not, I can kind of see why this was your last resort.
Recognition, fame, to not be forgotten. I don't know how to console or help you, but I'm glad you decided to take the time off of Tumblr. This is an unhealthy mindset.
If you look back into my blog, I also felt jealous of things such as notes and stuff. I felt insecure because my fics weren't doing well and I thought my writing had become terrible. I was insecure. I think you went through something similar.
You don't have to call yourself sensitive because many people also surprisingly feel this way as well. It's a valid and plausible thing, but it's also very unhealthy. Tumblr was just supposed to be this place to interact and have fun, and take a break from life.
I really wish I got to know more about you and bond with you. You seem like a wonderful person. However, for now, I don't think you'd need that.
Again, I'm so sorry for the trouble. That one mistake of mine escalated so much. We might not know each other that well, and nor do your old mutuals, but I'm sure many did miss you.
Thank you for your time here and for being here.
Thank you for the truth, Hana.
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DSMP DCW AU
Tommy and Wilbur had known each other for ages, sticking together and helping the other survive on the streets rather join than the sick games played, or specifically, Survival of the Fittest for cash. One day, they happen to come across an opportunity from a certain agency asking for help.
The agency, more like a pseudo-government of New Earth welcomed them in, and there they trained. There, Tommy met Tubbo, the two quickly becoming best of buds.
Now came the day where they were finally called in to do research on a new planet they discovered- Eden-227. A snowy wasteland with unknown origins.
Of course, they were a trio, so they'd need two more members as the agency usually had sent them in groups of 5, so in came Phil and Technoblade. Of course, the trio never met the duo, but they'd have to make up for it due to a lack of agents.
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SBI + Clingy Duo [Possibly Bench Trio] but in a roblox game called Decaying Winter, lmao.
Honestly I don't know why I did this [chapter 1's out but will most likely never get a follow up]
i just got the idea one day and completely spent all my motivation for that work. whoops.
if anyone wants they can take it and do their own thing with it ig?
lemme just.. character notes.
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Tommyinnit:
Shit at using guns and would probably shoot someone's eye out
REALLY immature (though claims otherwise)
Gets a little queasy at the sight of blood and doesn't like taking someone's life
Too weak to use long and heavy weapons
Sovereign
Tubbo:
Besties with Tommy
Doesn't really like resorting to violence but does it anyway
Hivemind
Support Class
Wilbur Soot:
Pledge 1 "Experienced"
Probably would've been a musician if it weren't for his current occupation
Likes to sing
Treats Tubbo like another brother
Usually kills for Tommy and Tubbo
Hands get really shaky sometimes and is quick to break
Couldn't use a gun for shit
Started before Tommy and Tubbo due to them being underage
Blitzer (Explosives)
Philza:
Pledge 8 "Veteran"
Zealot (Shield)
Technoblade:
Pledge 9 "Legendary"
Berserker Vagabond
Doesn't really like children or socializing
Would protect Phil with his life
hes taken the first calamity serum, the one that made him a heartless killing machine, which gave him voices. due to that, he doesnt need to take the serum to beat people easily. The others will question this, or more specifically Tommy. The newcomers don't get told about the old serum, nor how it gave it's users voices.
Because of that, he has enhanced strength and speed. He switched to Vagabond.
Ranboo:
Ranboo, trapped on Eden-227, to eventually come across the group of 5 and join.
Of course, the agency are strict on their rules..
They may not be able to bring them all back.
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..okay. so. story had a lot of flaws. aka it was awful at world building, kinda just went in head first instead of doing much else, and uhh...... a little too much lmao?? i didnt really have much plan besides the fact that i kinda wanted wilbur and tommy to encounter the hanged demon, or as my notes say,
'Wilbur and Tommy encounters the Hanged Demon.
Tommy encounters it first, screaming and backing up, which Wilbur is alerted, though not seeing it. "Toms?"
Then he sees it, breath hitching, and suddenly thoughts invaded his head. It felt unfamiliar. It wasn't his, but he couldn't help the sudden urge. [insert.. uhh.. urge to die thoughts here]
Tommy is uselessly trying to shake Wilbur out of it as Wilbur shakily holds the knife up. Tubbo notices, alerting Techno that the duo might be in trouble.
Techno steps in and takes it out.'
and then possibly around night 5 or so they encounter ranboo? maybe. i dont really know anymore and its all.. really awkward and im not actually sure how to make the dialogue go lol.
I just kinda had this wheel full of DCW items [and then another for demons]. uhh.. theres over 100 items and i had to double what it had in empty so there's somewhat of a fair 50/50 randomized chance of what characters find?? it was kinda hard lol. Of course though for the items, there are SOME things that are not there, mainly just I believe the Stims [personally they were always a struggle to remember what what did with their pretty complex names and it was gonna be hard to keep track of it all as the nights go on, and so it was kinda just hard.]
ALSO. DCW lasts for a total of 10 nights, kinda like a wave sort of thing with a period to go and scavenge for things. the enemies, or SKAVs that come along the way grow stronger with each night, and by the third night once they deem you as a bigger threat will come in with guns.
there's also the infection that spreads through your body throughout the game you have to manage and keep low or you die, but uhh.. thats.. also hard, and even harder when the randomizer might never even get the stuff you need to be able to decrease its progress?--- so yeah.
also heres the trello with my notes that i tried to manage with lmao- i just have so much stuff its quite literally a mess. though if anyone picks this up, i suggest learning to play the game [its easier with someone to teach you because there isnt a tutorial as far as im aware]
also we're pretending Last Stranded, the latest and last expansion to the game is not canon [actually zero idea if it is canon but still].
ALSO! DECAYING WINTER HAS AN OFFICIAL TRELLO IF YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ITEMS AND ETC.
heres the fic link. warning you, its bad.
#decaying winter#dcw#dcw au#mcyt#sleepy boys inc#dream smp#au#tubbo#clingy duo#tommyinnit#crimeboys#wilbur soot#alternate universe#fanfiction#o3 fanfic#ao3 writer#ao3 works#technoblade#philza#dsmp#roblox au
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