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kerubimcrepin · 2 months

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Live-read: The Wheel of Destiny #1, Atcham.

You can find this article on the Dofus MMO’s site, by simply googling it.

Before I begin this post I want to acknowledge multiple things:

On the hierarchy of canonical media, web articles are like... the bottom of the barrel. I already suspected this, but season 4 fully retconning Eva's parents from the lore articles sealed the deal. For this reason, take these as nothing but the sort of canon that will get retconned at the first available opportunity.

I recently found out that the Wheel of Destiny 8, the one about Kerubim, seems to use stolen fanart by Flowerimh, which is sad. I don't know where else to put this, because I don't want to make a separate post about this. Flowerimh isn't even active anymore...

Despite these two things, let us proceed to read this article together:

So, this article happens anywhere from one year to a decade before Joris was born, and at this time, Atcham and Julith were already acquainted and spending free time together.

Spoiler alert: They are searching for Kerubim.

Keke getting called a "precious runt" is on par with the shit Joris gets called. Wonderful. I do wonder why they would search for him in Brakmar. Someone confused him for Atcham? Maybe they asked Kerubim himself, and he didn't want to deal with them, and so, sent them to Brakmar on a wild goose chase?

I will not be asking "what did he do" because, like, Fifi Pretty Calves exists. He has enough enemies to have a price on his head.

I am literally in love with him, and every single way he is described in this part of the text.

"He had a preference for sibilant sounds", "Aw, poor little puppy", "the only reason he hadn't robbed them blind is because he wanted to know more".

He was so excited.... he thought they wanted him (not carnally).... 😢

He takes a lot of pride in his work and insane behaviours.

Atcham considers himself an extraordinary adventurer and a valiant fighter. AND HE ISSSSSS. But it is interesting that besides being a killer for hire, he probably also adventures.

[Taps this meme I made about Kerubim and Atcham once again]

He was so ready to be the one people wanted to kill just once, and they ruined his whole fucking evening.

Imagine this being your day-to-day life, for decades. Just people laughing at you, laughing because you still hadn't caught on that you're the joke, and laughing when you finally understand that, and get upset.

Laughing about you behind your back, to some random stranger, too. Because they still hadn't realized they're literally talking about him.

I think this is a good time to say that I headcanon Atcham as autistic. It is simply a headcanon, but one rooted in the themes of his character. I think it is a fitting conclusion, (albeit, just like my hcs of Joris having ADHD and OCD and Kerubim having comorbid BPD and HPD, very accidental one, on part of the writers).

I could talk for hours on the way neurodivergence, disability, body issues, and violence-as-response-to-abuse intersect in Atcham's character, — or the way he hates everyone preemptively, because he knows that they will probably hurt him, yet still tries to be at least a bit kind and fair to others (....who aren't Kerubim).

I am probably not autistic, — however, I am neurodivergent, and I love & relate to him, so yeah. Always rotating this bingus in my brain.

Imagine this being your whole life.

I read descriptions of Atcham being cool and fast, and all the analysis leaves my brain as I say "awooga hummina hummina".

The fact that nobody ever wed him is literally so unrealistic, like WHAT DO YOU MEAN you don't want the weird, mentally ill, neurodivergent twink.

We never see Atcham's home in Brakmar, but from the description of "tattered", and the way his bed looks in the comic panel I inserted earlier in the post, it is safe to say his home is the definition of "girlrotting". It probably smells. Bad.

Says the woman whose kindness will also be the death of her, — and her ruthlessness too.

Because of her visiting his home so nonchalantly, and their interactions as a whole, I like to view Atcham and Julith as somewhat close friends, — as close as two very emotionally repressed people, who have a huge age difference, and don't like to admit that they feel anything positive, can be.

He probably didn't mourn her, — not after she was presumed dead for ten years, and not after she died for real.

But he probably still thinks about her, once in a while.

#ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #atcham crepin #wheel1

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brisquad-unit-4402 · 11 months

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IM LOSING IT OVER YOUR RECENT IKE FIC. LIKE OH MY GOD. its so sweet and heartwrenching i felt just as nervous and anxious as reader the entire time, and when ike reciprocated my heart MELTED AHHH his freckles!!! how kind and beautiful he is, and his confusion turning into acceptance and his SQUEALSSS AAAA. i cant take it this is my fav ike and probably luxiem fic of all time. all of your hard work paid off so well, it was so well structured and emotional and everyone felt so real!! like they arent characters, theyre actual people!!

ahh, now i wish i knew ike's perspective during those stream moments and his reaction to pen and paper ship content HAHA. i imagine he swiftly bookmarks it on his private account but he keeps blushing and his hands shake whenever he sees any fanart WAAAH. maybe one time he sees pen and paper kissing and he cant properly look at the notifications from reader's chat without FLUSHING RED i love them so bad

i love whenever i'm reading a fanfic and it's so sweetly emotional that you feel your own emotions kicking in. so whenever i hear my work has that effect on someone else it's one of the nicest feelings in the world and WHAT DO YOU MEAN FAVORITE IKE AND/OR LUXIEM FIC EVER. that's super high praise thank youuuuu sobsobsob

i mean this is the kindest most /posi way possible but "they aren't charcters, they're actual people" is the scariest compliment i've ever heard. like on one hand i'm genuinely happy! i worked really hard on keeping multifaceted personalities in mind even for the minor characters! but also Oh No. I'm Writing Vtubers. We Need To Play This So Carefully And So Conscious Of The Creator/Audience Boundary Or My Ass Is GONE

real talk one of my most favorite ike things is when he squeals at something cute or because he's embarrassed ahhhh. and his speaking voice gets so high pitched and soft when he's flustered too like?? it's probably my favorite charm point of his

the ogs remember the poll i ran like a month ago about if ike should have freckles or not. shoutout to the landslide victory, if i remember correctly 97% of voters wanted ike with freckles! so glad that worked out, it works so well with the star theme and the difference between an online friendship meeting irl, and how reader loves them because it's a reminder that they have so much to learn about ike and are ready/willing, and also, freckles are just plain adorable. ike is just plain adorable. put them together and if i were richer and thirstier i'd be commissioning an artist

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

real talk tho i feel like ike goes from 1 to 100 whenever he catches himself simping over reader before the off-collab. either he's really good at acting composed, being normal, just interacting with his best friend like best friends do... or he's a stuttering, blushy mess that wavers like jell-o.

ike's the type of guy to sleepily check twitter before going to bed and whenever he sees pen and paper on his fyp it's like he snaps awake. maybe even squeaks or goes "a!" if it's especially.... you know. sometimes he can't even comprehend that people want him and reader to. well. his mouth goes dry.

and then he feels so dirty and embarrassed just because it's there, but... he's still looking at it. is it bad he's still looking at it? it definitely is but it's captivating, in a way. somehow. the artists are so talented, and somehow they nail your body language to a t, and the way your hair swoops above your eyes, and draw you with the cutest little expressions, and—

ah, who is he kidding.

in moments of weakness it triggers something in him to bury his face a little deeper in his blankets, pretend the screen's light would cool the heat pooling over his cheeks, and search the hashtag himself.

not even three pieces of fanart later, he has to throw his phone face-down on the mattress, cover his blush with a pillow, and now he's definitely squealing. it's healing and it makes him ill. it's... pretty. you're pretty. and he's pretty dumb for letting a silly crush distort itself like this.

the worst part is that some of these line up a little too well with daydreams he wanted to lock away until the end of time. he likes when he takes the lead. the stunned, puppyish expression so rare it only shows up on your face during the biggest plot twists during a stream, but coated in a darkened blush as he pecks them on the cheek, elegant and composed. calm.

ohhhh, this can't be good for his heart. especially when ike himself is so red-faced just thinking of it. calm, his foot.

still with the pillow over his flush, ike feels around for his phone and sets it on his nightstand. he chides himself. that's enough internet for the day, eveland! now quit acting like a shoujo high schooler in love and go to bed already, it's not going to happen!

he sets his face into a determined frown as he lifts the pillow and sets it aside. with any luck, he'd go the rest of the night without thinking of reader and his feelings for them.

the frown eases as he nestles into his blankets and tucks himself in. soft sheets and warm comfort greet him as he shuts his eyes, and he enters the fluffy haze of sleep as he slips into dreamland...

...is what he'd like to say, but not even ten seconds later his eyes snap open and jerks upright in bed. wait, i'm acting like i'm in love?!

he sits with the thought seeping through his brain like a corrosive acid, filing through every little moment he daydreamed about you, and when those don't paint him a picture he likes, he tries to recall the moments he shared with you instead. those are even fonder, and even worse.

he slaps his hands over his face and sighs, and when it sounds lovesick he sighs even more.

✧. ┊ ⁭masterpost ✧. ┊ ⁭kofi

#4402 answers #4402 writes #unit 4402 reporting #ike eveland x reader #ike eveland #luxiem #luxiem x reader #nijisanji en #whoops didn't even mean to write that #i should make a brainrot tag #update: i did 😎#4402 brainrot #pliskinverse

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dtupdates-archive · 9 months

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♡—DREAM was active on Dream__Fanart! He liked:

emotions ✧⁠*⁠。

SO HIGH LIKE IM ON EVEREST ‼️‼️

So high like I'm on Everest I ain't ever coming down I ain't ever coming down 🎶

my honest reaction

Everest!! ✨dreamteam forever!!🩵

1hr doodle art for EVEREST🏔️ I ain't ever coming down, I ain't ever coming down!

I HAD TOO MUCH ENERGY TO BURN OFF WHILE WAITING FOR EVEREST TO COME OUT SO I MADE THIS RANDOM FLOWER DROT ?????????

Remember what you came from (dream doodle)

Dear Dream, It's easy to love you🩷

🏔️

and I did it . This lil fairy wants nothing to do with pirates or fighting, he's only interested in taking naps, long naps..

Three angels

doodles since i got rusty 😩

There's nothing else but right here, right now 💚🧡🩵

Game night!! 🎮

Howdy 🤠🤯

For the discord summer icon competition thingy! I just wanted to enter once, vote me if you like :))

“To who ever wants to hear”

Afternoon chess with the dream team

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYLVEE !! 🎉🤍 it’s sylvee day everyone :DD

Dream and his...buddies🤭

TO WHOEVER WANTS TO HEAR :)

to whoever wants to hear;

Baby grge is tired‼️

dream team FOREVER !!

warmup sketch ⛅️

some musicians chillin :P

they're pocket sized

I’m sorry for the person I’ll become when drEP releases 👍

just wanted to draw dream in these hats again cus he’s so cute

tiny🤏

am ready for drep

together... to the end... biblethump

just totally normal shower bonding time between bros, nothing to see here 👍

trying to doodle in train is definitely something

Howdy, partner! 🤠

Tiny dream! What will he do?

strawberry boba 🍓

baby

doodle :^)

does anybody know where is he looking at

some dre doodles

?😟

HOW DID BRO LOST HIS CAT BEANIES?? 🤣🤣😨

POV you find your roommate very casually chilling on the couch on his phone while also wearing ur shorts

Dream and patches vs sapnap ♟

pookie loves pizza 🍕

biblically accurate height 🤏

when @Dream_Fanart is active when ur at school (i promise ill make actual fanart when im at home)

friends + their adventures!

the mask returns...

I had to do it, okay

baby pink and baby blue:D✨

✨⭐️

Dream

To whoever wants to hear... "So high like I'm on Everest"

dreams been cooking in the studio again

EVEREST !!! 🏔️(i'm so excited )

EVEREST OUT NOW

Everest

He stays winning

necesitaba dibujarlo AWHWHWHWH <3<3

they're at the beach

dream has another announcement guys???

hes confused...

#dt.update #dranart #dreamwastaken

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lavend-ler · 3 months

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normaler since there's a resurgence 🩷💜💙

YYEESSS LET'S GO NORMALER!!!! I ship them very much <3

What made you ship it?

I'm taking u to a journey back to the 2012 and I just... I'm amazed how vividly I remember this

so it's 2012 and I just watched The Lorax, being enamoured by Once-ler and the fandom. scouring through the internet I saw many ships but once I saw Normaler I thought to myself "yeah....no, nope" and went abt my day. but damn didn't they just grab me, I couldn't stop thinking abt them. I remember laying in my bed and thinking "maybe it's actually a good idea?" but I still wasn't sure. and then I saw THIS fanart and I was like damn. u got me, they're in love, I was a fool not to believe it

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

I'm so happy that there's a Normaler Resurgence cause Ill be damneD they're forever to me. I've loved them for so long and I will loved them even longer

god just the,,, absolute beautiful love story there could be. of Once-ler who thinks he shouldn't be loved, that the love has to be earned every time but who yearns for it so much. and for Norma who is content with the life she has but yearns for sth different, sth more and who never realized that someone like Once-ler could steal her heart like this

but they do, they fall in love slowly and steadily, starting as the closest friends and then realizing that their love is just beyond any words they ever needed. I think what I truly love abt Normaler is how Norma is for me a grounded yet spunky person, while Once-ler is a dreamer, yet careful with his actions

u see what I mean, they better each other. with Norma giving Once-ler the home and love he needs, along with the appreciation and steadiness. while Once-ler wants to make Norma's dreams soar away and wants to make her as happy as she can be. they simply become each other's home, the culprit of a tomorrow they never knew they needed. honestly I believe they both never knew they needed each other but when love found the it was the most beautiful duet

and then the delicious angst of them during the Greed-ler years just DAMN that's good. I love the angst and I love the drama. whether they'd be engaged or married at that time, I eat that shit up so hard. they both knew how to hurt each other way too well. Norma knew she couldn't stay with a man like this, one who becomes so selfish. he's not the starryeyed man she fell for

but then the wonderful reunion after the years. when they are older, wiser and Norma is ready to forgive Once-ler. the years might have passed but their love have never withered. and it's not that the only happiness they could have was in their youth, as their happy ending was when they were both old <3

also can I just say THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE!!!! the sun/moon symbolism. the fact how close to canon they are. the fact that they can have a daughter and grandson in canon. I'm a goner, I swear

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Norma is her own person and deserves her story too! and again, don't make them that toxic, they had disagreements but I believe they never abused one another. also anyone who thinks Normaler is too "vanilla" or that it's just a culprit for fangirls to project onto just......literally think to urself, why is any of this a bad thing

#ask #normaler #onceler #the lorax #THEYYY THEY I LOVE THEM #oh now I'm remembering all the good times of 2012......srsly my best year #also asks that make u listen to A Dustland Fairytale by The Killers #IS THERE STILL MAGIC IN THE MIDNIGHT SUNNN #OR DID U LEAVE IT BACK IN 61 #UEUEUEUEUE

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pixel-parts · 2 years

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Technoblade and Cyberknife

Something that I think has really dug in the knife that techno’s passing left on me is the loss of cyber knife and his story, its painfully clear that this man was not ready to leave yet, and had a whole future full of wonder and fun, full of joy and excitement, a life that finally sowed all the seeds he’d planted over the passing years with his channel.

I truly feel as though the loss of cyberknife is a horrid reminder of the loss of millions of wonderful characters and scenes that a man as mighty as techno might’ve brought to the world.

Now im obviously not implying that this loss is the biggest one of losing techno, what im truly saying is that this hurts a lot.

I miss that man more and more with each passing day. Its cringe I know, but I don’t think he’ll ever truly stop hurting, I don’t think that ill ever really understand that he’s…gone.

Cyberknife was a brilliant idea that could’ve brought such a fun inversion of his typical character, and with seeing how he did with billiam in tales of the smp, he surely would’ve beaten my expectations to a pulp, then he would’ve set them on fire, and then proceed to create one of the most endearing and dynamic characters that fandom had ever seen.

The fanart, fanfiction, cosplays, etc.. that would’ve rised form the idea in general would’ve been mighty, they would’ve been inspiring, they would’ve been more than i can imagine( I know im being dramatic, shup ut)

But now, we will never really have that, or anything else for the matter, and it stings.

But the man wouldnt have wanted people to stop promoting his brand and his characters because of something as small to him as death, he’d be shouting from the beyond, “Get up nerds, keep the name of the mighty technoblade sticking to the world until its very end!.”

I feel weird typing this out, I really don’t know if this is the appropriate way to try and put my thoughts on to the internet for people to see, nonetheless these are my badly structured thoughts on what cyberknife really shows us about technoblade, about Alex.

#technoblade #cyberknife #rambles #tw death #I really miss him

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knightzp · 7 months

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i was tagged to do this by @raeygina-george thank you raey!!! <3

1. three ships: rn id say ritsumao, mitsukou andddd xingyun

2. first ship ever: omg i dont think i remember.... okay wait it was probably percabeth back when i was 13. i wasnt super obsessed with them like i am with other ships now but they Were my first ship so yeah

3. last song: article of faith

4. last movie: i rewatched the second pirates of the caribbean movie with my sister and a friend yesterday!

5. currently reading: nothing.... i really need to go back to reading more enstars stories i still have some from my faves that i havent read yet </3

6. currently watching: im currently watching idolish7 and im loving it sooo much!!!! a friend recommended it to me and it is really good omg. i just finished the second season and i cried several times.... im containing myself from looking at fanart and posts abt it here bc i still need to watch s3 and i dont want spoilers but get ready bc it will happen Soon

7. currently consuming: nothing

8. currently craving: sleep and rest and not going to work tomorrow </3

i was also tagged by @qhostbat in a very similar tag game and since most of the questions were the same ill just add here the ones that were different ty tiaki!! <3

sweet/savory/spicy: sweet!!!

relationship status: single

current obsession: enstars has been my obsession for the last 10 months and it will continue for Long. also as i said earlier im getting quite into idolish7 recently so i think it checks out as a current obsession as well

last google: oleic acid

currently working on: my enstars bb fic!! just started writing another chapter today ✊

tagging: @seapasture / @solarshadow / @hardboiledteacozy / @pozge-pridumayu / @skijjiki / @torgawl / @em0-rat and anyone else who wants to!

#tag game

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buttermander · 5 months

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D&D Coroika Au : Blue Team and Rider

So here they are , the main event of chaotic blue team , plus the paladin they drag along.

Goggles - Kobold Rogue ( Arcane Trickster Subclass )

The most chaotic member of Blue team by far, Goggles was initially reluctantly exiled from his pack of kobold due to his often disruptive antics going on for far too long. He has a surprising sense of humor for a kobold , often using his talents as a rogue to sneak up on others and mess around with them, though he can just as easily use the dagger he carries around. His party has taken on the role of his new " pack " and he makes sure to remind them of this, with Bobble being the one he is closest with. His goggles actually have a practical purpose ever since his exile given how sensitive kobold eyes are to the sun.

Bobble - Kenku Bard ( College of Valour )

Bobble is the living opposite of the typical perception of kenku, having no ill will towards anybody unless they do something truly terrible to those she cares about. This makes her different then most kenku since they typically only make commitments to preserving their own lives. She often breaks into song with the drums she carries on hand and her ability to mimic the voices of others, with Goggles joining in to create quite the cacophony. Her presence adds some noise to this party that one will not forget for a long, long time.

Headphones - Half-Elf Ranger ( Gloomstalker Subclass )

Headphones is a progidy with a bow and arrow, and a childhood friend of specs. She takes on a more protective role of the party, ready to let an arrow fly right at any potential ambush should the time come. Headphones is often annoyed by the antics of Goggles but things get quickly resolved with the unusual kobold, he's even taught her how to use smaller close ranged armaments in case she was ever cornered in a close range brawl. Given how half elves live in two worlds given their heritage, Headphones finds comfort in her found second family of eccentric folks.

Specs - Human Cleric of Mystra

As a cleric of Mystra, Specs often finds himself seeking out new knowledge of magic which leads him on his many travels with his childhood friend Headphones. These travels would eventually lead him to end up adding Bobble and Goggles to their ranks, forming what is practically a second family. Specs often carries around multiple scrolls so he can study and utilize various spells, along with various remedies in case his magic is ever depleted. He's often the planner of the party when it comes to making decisions, though these plans are usually disrupted by Goggles leading to plenty of improvisation.

Rider - Human Paladin of Bahamut

Formerly a lone wandering paladin only accompanied by his trusty Warhammer, a kobold related misunderstanding followed by an impromptu team up led to Rider being dragged along the travels by this merry band of adventurers. Given his worship of Bahamut he is rather knowledgeable of all manners of draconic creatures , though this still couldn't have prepared him for anything like Goggles. While he was rather cold with the party at first, a mutual respect was slowly formed and Rider slipped into a role as the protector of the group with his shield and hammer in hand. He may not admit it but after a while of traveling Goggles has said he's seen the paladin crack a few smiles here and there.

So here's the main party, let me know what characters you all may wanna see next in the au. If you want to make some fanart of my au then I'm cool with it , I haven't even got down definitive designs for most of the cast.

#splatoon #splatoon manga #dungeons and dragons #coroika #goggles coroika #bobble coroika #specs coroika #headphones coroika #rider coroika #d&d #d&d au #dnd #dnd au

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dancing-out-in-space · 9 months

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bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

Tagged by @fiercynn, it's a lovely idea. Thank you!

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself Hello you can find me most places online as sweet_exile (except tumblr). I am terrible at intros so please ask if you want to know anything.

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom? I watched BB in April last year after a friend recommended some Thai BLs and this was the one I fell in love with. I kind of accidentally fell into the fandom after writing a couple of fics.

favorite ship(s) sorry to be obvious but patpran. I love inkpa too, as soon as I saw the 'oh no, I've lost my contact lens' scene I instantly thought, that's such a meet cute moment.

favorite character(s) Pat is my beloved. So dramatic, one thing goes wrong and he's ready to throw himself off the balcony. I absolutely do not identify with that.

favorite episode(s) Aaaaah! A tough choice beyond the obvious episode 5 answer. Episode 2 is great, the pre-credits scene is a work of comedy genius and I love episode 3 as well.

favorite scene(s) the epic rooftop kissᵗᵐ (of course!), episode 6 - playing in the sea and the 'you must hate me' conversation afterwards, the library scene in episode 3 - my favourite cheeky kind of Pat and also returning Pran's guitar.

one thing you would change about the show if you could I'm glad they didn't overdo Pat's jealousy of Wai but I do think patpran needed to have a conversation about why Pran left his guitar with Wai.

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people? Oh so many, you're welcome to check out my bookmarks but a couple of my favourites are:

traffic was slow for the crash years by @fiercynn

What's in Your Head? (Zombie Eh Eh) by aworkingprinter (miscellar on tumblr)

A Soft Boy in Soft Sweaters by @dimplesandfierceeyes

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

I've only written a couple of BB fics but the one I'm most proud of is Love is Careless in its Choosing It's the longest fic I've ever written and started off as a stupid thought - why is it always Pran who is ill with Hanahaki Disease what if it was Pat and it kind of grew from there.

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol) I have a habit of using David Bowie lyrics as fic titles, so a lot of Bowie songs remind me of patpran, which is my own fault I know.

Days from the Reality album is very them - "Do I need a friend? Well I need one now" "All the days of my life, all the days I owe you." "With redeyed pain I'm knocking on your door again, My crazy brain in tangles pleading for you gentle voice"

I could pick loads of them though. I'm fine honestly.

idk anything else you want us to know? I don't think so.....

I think @fiercynn has already tagged everyone I know in BB fandom so if you stumble across this and want to join in please consider yourself tagged!

#bad buddy #bbs #bad buddy the series #bad buddy fandom #bbs fandom #bad buddy fanworks recs

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searchingwardrobes · 2 years

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Scarborough Fair: 5/?

I apologize for the long wait for this chapter. I said I would update every two weeks, and then I dropped the ball on that. I won't bore you with the details, but life just got crazy. Anyways, I think I have a game plan now that I should be able to update every two weeks, alternating updates with No Wives, No Lovers, No Mothers.

This chapter is about Emma's recovery, and it's honestly a gut-wrencher. However, some important plot points also come up, so I can't really give you places to skip like the last chapter. Hopefully, if you've stuck with me this far, you'll keep reading! I can't say the angst will cease after this chapter, but the rape will no longer be the main focus. So it gets better in some ways? I guess?

This is also now part of the CS Angsty August, so be sure to check out the other fan fic and fanart from that event!

Summary: Seventeen-year-old Emma Swan has had a charmed life, despite being a foster child. She has a wonderful family who loves her, and the best friends in the world. The only thing that mars her idyllic existence is her birth mother: a homeless woman who mutters nonsensical rhymes and claims to be Snow White. One fateful night, however, Emma’s world is shattered. Perhaps her mother’s rhymes aren’t nonsense after all.

Rated: M for date rape, dubious consent, teen pregnancy, and sexy times (the good kind!)

Words: Over 3k in this chapter

Chapter One | Two | Three | Four

Also on Ao3

Tagging: (let me know if you wish to be removed or added): @snowbellewells @teamhook @kmomof4 @jrob64 @xhookswenchx @thisonesatellite @welllpthisishappening @spartanguard @ohmakemeahercules @tiganasummertree @sparlecorn93 @sals86 @pirateprincessofpizza @xarandomdreamx @zaharadessert @huntressandlioness1 @jamif @undercaffinatednightmare @onceratheart18 @sparlecorn93 @sals86 @pirateprincessofpizza @xarandomdreamx @zaharadessert @huntressandlioness1

Chapter Five

The rest of that night and the next day passed for Emma in a hazy fog punctuated by bouts of crying in her bed curled up in the fetal position. Other times she just lay there staring at the ceiling, trying to let herself be swallowed up by a dark, dark hole that had taken up residence in her chest. She wanted to go numb, to never feel anything ever again. Just when she thought she’d succeeded in emptying herself of all emotion, waves of tears would begin to pound her once again.

She hadn’t had to spell anything out for Killian. He’d simply nodded when she asked for him to take her home, and in the car, he said nothing. The silence was laden with grief, yet she knew she couldn’t have handled any questions, or even worse, platitudes.

Even when they walked through the kitchen door, no words had been necessary. Ingrid had taken one look at Emma, and a single sob had escaped her lips. Emma fell into her embrace, tears finally coming. She heard Liam make a guttural sound followed by a thud. He’d punched something, even had bruises on his knuckles the next day to prove it. Like Killian, however, he said nothing, asked no questions, and refrained from touching her. She could tell the brothers wanted to, the way their hands kept fisting then opening again, the way their arms kept reaching just short of touching her, then falling back to their sides. Emma ached with both relief and sadness at their hesitancy.

Ingrid untangled Emma’s hair, tossing out the floral wreath and gently running a brush through the tresses. She wouldn’t let Emma bathe, however, and kept asking as gently as she could manage when Emma would be ready to go to the hospital. Emma knew what that meant. It meant an examination, a rape kit, and the police. The thought made her dizzy and physically ill. She would just shake her head, trembling in agitation.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Ingrid would soothe, “you have a little bit of time. We can wait until morning. Just don’t wash, okay?”

Emma had bit her lip as silent tears tracked down her face, yet nodded nonetheless. Ingrid helped her out of her prom clothes and into some pajamas as if she were five years old again. Then she tucked her in and brushed a kiss to her brow. Ingrid turned away, stuffing Emma’s discarded clothing into a pillowcase. Emma pretended not to see. Though she’d made no comment, Ingrid had been visibly dismayed that Emma had thrown her panties away in the public restroom. Too bad. They were the last things Emma wanted to ever touch or see again. With the “evidence” gripped in her hands, Ingrid turned off the overhead light and slipped out of the room. She left the bedside lamp on, for which Emma was grateful.

It felt like no time at all before headlights sliced across darkened walls of Emma’s bedroom. She could hear raucous laughter and car doors slamming, followed by the front door opening and closing. Anna’s giggles and happy chatter drifted up the stairs before coming to an abrupt end. Emma strained to hear the soft tones coming from the kitchen, and she could just make out a muffled cry. So they’d told Anna.

She heard her sister’s footfalls on the stairs, and she turned towards the wall, pulling her quilt up over her head. Emma closed her eyes and forced herself to remain still even as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She heard the door creak open, then the bed dipped as Anna sat down gingerly.

“Emma?” she whispered softly. Anna paused for a moment, then tried again, “Emma?”

Emma tried to even out her breathing so her sister would think she was asleep. Finally, the weight on the other side of the bed lifted and she heard Anna’s footsteps head for the door.

“I’m so sorry,” Anna whispered before slipping out the door.

Emma turned her face into her pillow to muffle her sobs. The night was long, and it was near dawn before she fell into a restless sleep. When she woke, the sun was streaming through her bedroom window. When she shifted, she felt the horrible pain between her legs, and the memories of the night before came rushing back. She curled in on herself, crying from both the throbbing pain and the utter devastation shredding her heart.

When Ingrid came softly into her bedroom with a glass of water, toast with strawberry jam, and some ibuprofen, Emma’s head began to pound. She knew what Ingrid would want her to do, and she still didn’t feel ready.

Yet the news Ingrid had to share changed everything. It didn’t matter if Emma had a rape kit done. It didn’t matter if she reported Neal Cassidy to the police or not.

Because Neal Cassidy’s car was upside down in the swollen river, crushed against a fallen tree. Though his body hadn’t been found, the driver’s seat, steering wheel, and dashboard were covered in blood. The shattered windshield was bloodied, too. His mother, Lacey Cassidy, reported him missing when she woke at 5 am to find he had never come home from prom.

After delivering this news, Ingrid coaxed a few bites of toast into Emma so she could take the ibuprofen. Though she wasn’t hungry, Emma obeyed.

“Sweetheart,” Ingrid told her gently, reaching forward to brush strands of hair from her forehead, “the police called. Witnesses testified that you were Neal’s date last night.”

Emma froze with her toast halfway to her mouth. “What are you saying?”

Ingrid’s hands dropped to her lap, and she couldn’t look Emma in the eye as she answered. “They’re coming over to question you.”

The toast Emma had forced down almost came back up. “Are they blaming me for something?”

“Oh no, honey!” Ingrid hurriedly clarified. “Apparently, kids from prom also said they saw Neal drinking. I think they’re just trying to figure out how he ended up in the river.”

Emma dropped her toast. “I’m taking a shower.”

She struggled out of bed, trying in vain to hide her wince. Ingrid stilled her with a gentle hand to her elbow. “You know you can still tell them what happened.”

“What’s the point!” Emma shouted, hugging her middle. “He’s dead!”

Ingrid shook her head. “They don’t know that for sure. There’s no body.”

Tears flowed down Emma’s cheeks, and her voice choked on sobs. “I don’t care. His car is in the river, and I’m . . . I’m . . .”

Ingrid hurried to her feet and pulled Emma close as she continued to sob.

********************************************************************

Despite her family’s objections, Emma lied to the police. Well, lies of omission. She said she wasn’t sure if Neal had been drinking or not, but that he was acting weird enough to freak her out. Since she hadn’t wanted to go to the party with him, Killian had come to get her. Killian corroborated her story, and also added how he’d seen Neal acting strangely. He’d told the police how Neal had run when he called his name.

After that, the Joneses heard nothing from the police again. They tried to ignore the spin that the news gave to the story, but that was difficult in a suburban college town where gossip raged. The tragedy seemed to be the only thing anyone wanted to talk about. Neal was painted as a good kid who made high grades in school and was the pride and joy of his single mother. What a shame, people said, that such a promising young man had his life cut short by drinking and driving.

Neal’s elevation to golden boy following his death (disappearance? Did it really matter? The police had closed the case, after all) made both Liam and Killian livid with anger. How dare he be portrayed as some type of saint after he . . . he . . .

No one in her family could just come out and say it. They’d talk about “what happened” or “that night” or “what that snake did.” Not that Emma could blame them. She couldn’t get the “r” word past her lips, either. Couldn’t even think it, to be honest.

Emma stayed home from school for two weeks after prom. Anna brought her work home from the teachers. Everyone was very understanding, considering the circumstances. That is, they all thought she was Neal’s grieving prom date.

Emma continued to spend most of that time in bed, though the bouts of crying were fewer and farther between. Ingrid let it slide, but a few days before Emma returned to school, she demanded that Emma get in the car - no arguing. Emma wasn’t surprised when she drove her to the free counselor at the center. Ingrid was still Ingrid, after all.

So life fell back into a pattern of sorts, though the Jones household wasn’t the joyous place it had once been. They all walked on eggshells around Emma, and she hated it. Even Elsa wasn’t the same on their video calls. Her brow furrowed, and her voice dropped to almost a whisper as she asked, “how are you holding up?”

Nevertheless, the counseling was helping, and so was her prescription of citalopram. She was on a pretty high dose, at least for now, which had the blessed side effect of making her sleep deeply and without nightmares.

The last month of school passed in a blur, and Emma ended her junior year with low Bs and one C in chemistry instead of her usual mixture of As and high Bs. Still, even that was impressive, all things considered. Her teachers expressed understanding “because of all she’d been through,” though they didn’t actually understand at all.

Emma had never felt so relieved for summer to arrive. She had originally planned to volunteer at the family center’s camp for underprivileged youth along with Anna, but Ingrid completely understood when she changed her mind.

“Although,” Ingrid had added with a concerned frown, “I don’t want you holed up in your room all summer.”

For the first time since April, Emma actually laughed. “Stop worrying. My counselor said the same thing.”

She promised not to hide out in her room, but she also wouldn’t promise to have a thriving social life. A summer of reading, taking dips in Lily’s backyard pool, and helping Liam grill out were about all the social activity she felt she could handle.

Right now, she was soaking up the early June sun in Ingrid’s flower garden. For Mother’s Day, Liam and Killian had built an arbor with a swing. Emma sat in it now, pushing it back and forth lightly with one toe as she smelled deeply of the middlemist roses that had finally bloomed.

“Emma, please tell me you aren’t going to sit out here and do nothing all day.”

Emma sighed deeply at the sight of Ingrid, hands on her hips. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

Ingrid marched across the grass. “I decided to come home for lunch to check on you,and I’m glad I did. What have you done so far today?”

“Calm down, Ingrid,” Killian’s voice came from the back porch, though Emma couldn’t see him past the arbor. “She’s just waiting on me to take her for ice cream.”

Killian winked at Emma as he sauntered into view. When Ingrid turned to face him, Emma mouthed, “Thank you.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Ingrid quipped.

“We put in overtime last weekend, remember?” Killian shrugged. “I have to be compensated for that time. Union rules.”

“Oh, okay,” Ingrid capitulated, glancing at her watch, “well, that’s good because I’ve got an errand to run after I grab a bite.”

“You all don’t have to babysit me, you know,” Emma frowned.

“I’m not,” Killian protested, eyes wide, “I genuinely want to spend time with my best friend.”

Emma’s heart, for the first time in a month and a half, warmed as she took the hand Killian extended to her.

***************************************************************

Killian knew they had all been treating Emma differently, and he even knew that she didn’t like it. He couldn’t seem to stop worrying about her, though. None of them could. There were brief moments when life seemed normal, but then Emma would stare into space vacantly or jump three feet when a door slammed, and he would be reminded of that horrible night all over again. At least she was no longer spending days in bed or wandering the house aimlessly like a ghost. He could tell her therapy was helping, but it was an achingly slow process. He’d mentioned it to Ingrid once.

“Coping with this type of trauma isn’t linear, I’m afraid,” she’d explained to him. “You’ll see Emma make progress, but then you might see her regress. We all just have to be patient with her.”

It wasn’t a lack of patience, at least not for him. He realized that Emma would never be the same person she’d been before, and he wasn’t expecting or asking that of her. He just wanted to see joy in her eyes again. He wanted to see her cheeks pink as she laughed, he wanted to see her collapse against Liam on the couch as he read a book, he wanted her to sit here with him chatting about everything and nothing. In short, he wanted her to live again. Fully. Not for him, but for her own happiness.

At least she’d finished her cup of rocky road. Large - just like old times. It was the most he’d seen her eat in a long while. Emma sighed in satisfaction as she gave her spoon one last lick, then deposited the empty cup in the passenger side cup holder. She made another small, contented sound as she looked out the windshield at this quiet section of the city park. The windows in Killian’s car were down, and a summer breeze teased the ends of Emma’s hair. He was admiring the serene look on her face, but it was short lived. She frowned, then turned to face him.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

Killian tried to act nonchalant as he rested his arm against his open window. “I suppose that depends on what it is.”

Emma chewed on her bottom lip, and pink crept up her neck. Uh-oh, it looked like she really meant personal.

“Are you a virgin?”

Killian was glad he’d finished his cookies & cream, or we would have choked on it. “Wow, okay, well -”

“Please, Killian,” she pleaded, looking him squarely in the eyes, “I have to ask somebody this, and I don’t feel comfortable enough with anyone else.”

Killian felt his own face heat as he nervously scratched behind his ear. “Well, I don’t want you to think I’m a monk or anything, but . . . no - I mean, yes. That is to say, no, I haven’t had sex. I’m a virgin.”

Killian let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Emma’s lips quirked up, and a tiny laugh escaped.

“Are you laughing at me?” he asked indignantly.

“No,” she said, and when he saw that old sparkle in her eyes, his embarrassment was almost worth it, “I just think it’s funny how embarrassed you are right now. It’s okay to be a virgin, you know.”

“I know,” he said, a bit defensively.

“I would be too, you know, if . . .” she trailed off and stared down at her hands which twisted in her lap. “Anyways, about my question. Even though you’re a virgin, have you ever, ummm . . . gotten . . . an orgasm?”

Killian’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open. “Why in the world would you want to know that!?”

Emma’s face contorted in a mixture of embarrassment and frustration. “Okay, okay, you don’t have to answer that. There’s just something I have to know about guys.”

Killian took a deep breath, then let it out. He looked at Emma and gently asked her, “What is it? Ask me anything you want.”

Emma’s brow furrowed as if she were searching for the right words. “When guys . . . come, do they . . . act different?”

Killian shook his head, confused. “Different how?”

“Like a different person? Do they get so . . . excited that they . . . change? Like sound different or even look different?”

Killian still had no idea where she was going with this. “I’m still not following you.”

Emma pressed her hands to her face, then looked up at Killian with pleading eyes. “If I tell you something, will you promise to believe me?”

“Of course I’ll believe you. I’ll always believe you.”

Emma’s face softened in relief. “You promise not to think I’m crazy?”

He took her hands in his. “Emma, I promise you, nothing you could say will ever make me think that of you.”

Inside, his heart was racing and his mind was in turmoil. She was about to tell him something about that horrible night, and he knew it was the last thing he wanted to hear. However, she needed him, so he would bury his feelings and be the strength she needed.

“That night,” she began hesitantly. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes briefly, then continued. “The night Neal raped me, when he . . . well, during it, he just changed. It’s hard to describe, but it’s like his skin turned scaly and green, and . . . sparkly. It wasn’t Neal’s face above me anymore. Then, he spoke, and it wasn’t Neal’s voice. The voice was high-pitched and manic, you know? And he said . . . he said . . .”

Killian took her hands again, knowing she wanted to get it all out, but didn’t have the strength.

“He said All magic comes with a price, dearie. I mean, isn’t that weird? What does that even mean?”

Silence fell between them, and Killian looked down at Emma’s small hands in his. He tenderly rubbed his thumbs across her knuckles.

“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?” she whispered.

He smiled at her as he slowly shook his head. He gathered his thoughts before speaking.

“No, I don’t think you’re crazy, Emma. I completely believe that you saw what you saw. However, I think there’s a logical explanation for it.”

“So guys do become different?”

“No,” Killian said firmly, “I may be a virgin, but when a guy has sex, I think who they really are is heightened. Their love is more intense, their tenderness is deeper . . .”

Killian trailed off, suddenly self conscious as he gazed into her wide green eyes.

“So why did I see what I saw? Hear what I heard?”

“I think that Neal wasn’t the person you thought he was. You thought he was a nice guy, and then when he acted the complete opposite of that, your mind helped you understand it by seeing him as a monster.”

Emma pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She was quiet for a moment, then she whispered, “Yeah, that makes sense.”

Then she pressed her face to her knees and began to sob. Like every other time she’d wept since prom night, Killian had to suppress his instinct to reach out for her and hold her. Ingrid kept reminding him and Liam that they had to wait for her to initiate touch; that she might not want any male to touch her, even something as simple as an arm around her shoulder, for quite some time. He’d taken her hands moments ago without thinking, and that had been the first time he’d reached for her in over a month.

So he just sat there, not knowing what to do or what to say, his heart breaking that he couldn’t fix this. Then, suddenly, she looked up at him, her face red and tear-streaked, strands of her hair stuck to her damp cheeks. She stared at him with hurt and anger in her eyes.

“Why won’t you hold me?”

“Oh Emma,” he breathed, and then he was out of the car and racing around to the passenger side in a moment. When he opened her door, Emma practically threw herself at him, and he caught her as he went to his knees. She sobbed against him, half in the car and half out of it, and he rocked her reassuringly back and forth. He ran his fingers through her hair and mumbled soothing words that really meant nothing into her ear.

“I’ve missed you,” she finally choked out once the worst of her tears were spent. “You never touch me anymore. Neither does Liam. Today you took my hand for the first time in forever, and I missed it so damn much.”

Killian held her tighter, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m sorry. Liam and I were trying to give you space and let you heal.”

“Well, it sucked,” Emma snapped, and then they both actually laughed. Emma pulled away, wiping at her damp cheeks. “Especially with you. I don’t want to lose you, too, on top of everything else.”

Killian cupped her face in his hands, both his thumbs swiping at her cheeks. “You won’t,” he vowed to her. “I promise, you won’t.”

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