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lovefollowsknowledge · 2 years

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1 year down, 3 to go

A lot of people ask me how school’s going, and to be honest, I struggle every time bc I don’t know what to say. Bc tbh it’s hard af, and I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much out of pure stress haha. The amount of reading is overwhelming and never-ending. I’ve done more presentations in my first year than my whole undergrad career combined. 10-page papers are just casually thrown at you 1-2 weeks before it’s due. - The standards are just incredibly high, and everyday I am reminded how I simply played the game and wasn’t actually the best student in college and high school haha.

But tbh that’s not even the worst part. That part was expected. I expected returning to the stressful life of a student and having to re-learn how to stay focused and prioritize. I knew it would be hard, but I felt like I could figure it out and get in a groove eventually. Which I’m more or less able to do by the end of the semester haha. But, no, the hardest part and the part I never expected was the internal work this program would cause me to do.

Imposter syndrome - I’ve struggled with self-doubt in the past but never anything like this. Every. Single. Day. I think, “Wth am I doing here? Who do I think I am that I can be here? That I can be in this space and succeed? That I’m as good as these other people in my cohort? That I’m deserving? That I’m capable?” Everyday I feel small and incapable and stupid for even thinking I could possibly belong in higher academia and succeed not only in school but in this career. I look around and I see all these intelligent, experienced folks, most of which are younger than me, and I’m like “uhhh I come from ministry and working with K-8 kids, and I just wanna help them feel better and loved.” Hahah I just feel so small next to everyone in my cohort. I don’t answer questions the same way they do, I don’t make connections as fast as they do, I don’t think to ask the kind of questions they do. I feel very ill-equipped everyday. BUT what I’m clinging to is that God put me there. I applied to so many other schools, and this was the one that worked out. And ever since then He has been providing in so many different ways that make my decision to stay at SMC easier. I’ve thought many times of just giving up, especially in the beginning, but every time there’s just something inside that’s like “just give it a chance.” And so I stay, against all doubt and disbelief within, I somehow stick around. Bc He just keeps making a way. And my motto lately has been “just say yes to what’s right in front of you,” and well He keeps keeping SMC right in front of me, so here we are haha. Another thing I cling to is my professors. My professors, who are professionals academically and in the field, have been so encouraging and so supportive. So I figure, if God keeps making a way and if my professors aren’t telling me I’m a straight idiot for thinking I can be in this program, well I must be in the right place. And so while I still struggle with self-doubt and imposter syndrome, I’m trying to cling to these objective truths outside of me - the affirmation of both our Lord and my professors. And slowly, I’ve been letting myself just lean in and rest in that. Rather than constantly fighting it, I’m learning to receive it and just keep saying yes, till it’s clear I need to move on. But till then, here we go for another year! Haha

Privileges, oppressions, and biases - This is probably by far the hardest part of this program so far. Every class starts here - What is your worldview pertaining to a certain topic, how did you get that worldview, what values do you hold that come out of that, what biases do you have bc of that, what parts of that are rooted in experiences of oppression, what parts of that are rooted in your identities of privilege, how will that impact your work as a clinician working with various communities and populations? Every single class starts with a self-assessment, and it is the most humbling shit ever. Sometimes it’s caused me to face wounds I never thought I’d have to or even knew were really there. Other times it’s caused me to acknowledge my positions of privilege and recognize the blindspots it’s given me and even ways that I myself have perpetuated and upheld oppressive beliefs. I’ve had to trace back my values and really question where they came from, what are my biases, and how could this limit me in my work with clients. And it’s just been extremely challenging. It’s causing me to realllly dig, and it really just feels like tilling the soil of my heart (which goes to show be careful what you pray for bc that’s been my prayer for years now lol), where things are being brought to surface but also that things are getting torn up.

Call to love - What’s been especially intense and challenging is how a lot of the values and worldviews presented in class and held by most of my colleagues are very outside everything that I’ve been formed to believe pretty much my whole life. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been in a Catholic setting. From being raised in ministry, to studying theology at the most Catholic school on Earth, to being a youth minister myself, I have always been immersed in the Catholic faith and surrounded by faithful Catholics. And this is what I’m learning is my biggest bias. And it’s not that I’m doubting my faith or leaving it behind, but what I’m realizing is by being in a Catholic bubble all my life, I have no idea how to live outside of that bubble, how to be with people who aren’t faithful Catholics, how to be surrounded by beliefs that are not my own. And honestly, if this were me 10, maybe even 5 years ago, I would say, “What do you mean? There’s only one way to think, one way to live, I’m right, they’re wrong.” And I would hold fast to that and I might even leave the program, completely scandalized and frustrated by the things they’re teaching and the beliefs my colleagues hold; I would run back to an ultra-catholic university. But instead, I’m learning to just be in it. Not reject it, not debate it with my theology, not close my ears to it and pick and choose what I want to learn and be prepared for in the field. I’m just in it, taking it in, listening and learning. Because what I feel like this program is preparing me for is the ability to love. I am learning things that I KNOW my Steubie friends or even Steubie Mare would be so upset and straight up appalled by. But what I feel like the Lord is saying when I learn about all the different ways people experience life, ways that are so beyond even my awareness, is “These are My people too. This is My heart too. I have come for them too.” And that’s what I think of when I think of the future and working with someone with such opposing views and experiences from my own. That those differences don’t matter, what matters is that Christ’s heart is still thirsting for love right there. There are so many people in my cohort that say they used to be Catholic or used to be Christian but left bc of a certain belief or a certain prejudice they feel the Church holds. They say it’s complicated bc they still believe but they don’t want to belong to the Church. And you feel/hear the ache, the confusion, the hurt in their words. And what I’ve learned is that people don’t leave the Church bc they want to leave the Church or bc they randomly stopped believing in God. They left bc somewhere along the way someone failed to love them. Whether that’s one person or multiple or they felt rejected by the entire institution. And this has been one of my most challenging parts this year bc on the one hand I am feeling deeply how I have failed to love and how the Church has failed to love. But on the other hand, I feel extremely conflicted bc I have never had to live and love among those who think and believe differently from me. I’m learning how many of my years of formation actually taught me how to judge and be self-righteous and persecute and reject those who think even an ounce different from how the Church teaches. And I have cried many tears, aching, telling the Lord, “I can’t do this. I don’t know how to love. I don’t know how to live in this world.” I’m learning that it’s hard. It’s freaking hard being a Catholic today, a 31-year-old, single Catholic woman, and it’s honestly a battle I’ve never had to engage in until now. And yet, I am so so grateful for the opportunity to study at SMC bc all I keep thinking is, “They’re stretching my heart to love better. To see others more fully for who they are. To make my heart a greater capacity.” And yeah it gets complicated with theology, philosophy, morality, I’m not saying throw caution to the wind and leave all teaching behind. I’m just learning that sometimes (if not all the time) loving someone whole-heartedly, without judgment, without agenda, without condition is more important, more impactful, more meaningful than stuffing teaching down their throat and forcing them to accept it before they become a member of the Church. I just find it so ironic that my first time being in a secular setting, I am learning more about Christ’s unconditional, intimate love and the call to love with a love that knows no bounds in a way that is more real and more tangible than ever before. So while it is difficult engaging in lectures and discussions that challenge my beliefs and values, I’m grateful nonetheless for the ways it’s stretching my heart, mind, and worldview.

It’s been purifying to say the least, and it’s only been 1 year! We’ll see how these next 3 years go ;)

LDM

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mangotortoise · 1 year

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10,9, 25,44 from the writer ask game thing

Ooo thank you for asking!

9) In Dead on Arrival, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

There’s a bit in Chapter III where, because I’m switching POVs constantly, I switch from Reid and then immediately switch to Morgan. I don’t think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written, but I’m still so proud at how I changed around the language and wording so that the same scene felt different; like it was two separate people viewing the fire and not just me, the monkey, hitting a bunch of keys and giggling the whole time.

10) In Just Waitin’ Around to Die, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?

I actually thought about ending it after everyone had died but Marty, but it felt stronger to end it when there was still this massive axe hanging over everyone’s head. Like, you know what the outcome is going to be, there’s no way around it, and you’re trying to live knowing any day now it’s all over.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Yeah. There’s a scene in Dead on Arrival where Danny ends up bawling his eyes out in front of Jazz, and I deadass teared up writing that bit (probably because I had just got the news that my younger sister, whom I love dearly, was going to be changing jobs and moving far away, and I was a bit emotional about that as it was.)

44) What is the last line you wrote?

A line from an original story, actually:

“Simon--who hadn’t stepped foot into Saint Antoine’s since he’d lied his way through his Confirmation so many years prior--tried his hardest to look alert in the nearly-empty church.”

(Larger context is my OC is at a funeral. Like Simon, one of the last times I willingly stepped foot into a Catholic Church was for a funeral. Not the last time, but one of them.)

Thanks again!

#Ask Game #Thanks for Asking!#:D

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ephemeral-eternity · 2 years

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Anime Tag Game!

Ahhh thank you @turquoisetacos! I love these things

Favorite anime: I literally can’t pick one so heres a bunch: Durarara, Neon Genesis Evangelion, K (K-Project), Zankyou no Terror, Dr. Stone, Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun, Assassination Classroom, Boku no Hero Academia, Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens, Soul Eater, D. Gray-man, Ergo Proxy **edit: adding on Spy x Family also theres probably more but this is what came to mind

Least favorite: (excluding shows like Pupa and Tenkuu Danzai Skelter+Heaven that I purposely watched for for being trash during the MAL yearly challenge... ) Chobits, King’s Game, Taboo Tattoo, and the only show I’ve ever dropped... Clannad.

Last anime: This is kinda vague uhm, the last anime I finished was my re-watch of Dr. Stone, the last new anime I finished is Haikyuu, but I am currently watching Jujutsu Kaisen and the new seasons of Dr. Stone, The Promised Neverland, Attack on Titan, Beastars, and Re: Zero, so those are the last episodes I’ve seen.

***edit: This is from sooo long ago - at the time of me now posting this my last anime was Spy x Family

Favorite anime film: All of the Evangelion films from “The End of Evangelion” through all the Rebuilds

Cried the hardest at: Ano Hana (The Flower We Saw That Day), Iron-Blooded Orphans, Bokurano, Devilman Crybaby, To Your Eternity

Comfort anime: K (project), Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens, Dr. Stone, Soul Eater, *Spy x Family

Favorite characters: oh boy uhh alot - all of the Evangelion kids, Senku and Gin from Dr. Stone (Senku being my favorite protagonist in anything), the entire Forger family in Spy x Family, all of the soul eater kids plus Stein and especially Crona, Sypha Trevor and Isaac from Castlevania, Hanako from JSHK, nearly all of the K-project characters in the first season, the entire Tonkotsu Ramens team in Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens, everyone in Durarara because they are all out of their minds but especially the main cast from season 1 - and I still feel like im forgetting some

Shojo or Shonen: Shounen

What Anime world would you want to live in: Durarara as its one of the few worlds I would not immediately fear for my life and yet I would get to see some wild shit

Tagging: @kfw-dan (i dont usually tag but you are lovely and often tag me in things ^^)

Edit: this was another tag i got foreeverrr ago and did not finish so i made a few edits and completed it to post now

#tag #answer #please do this if you see it and it seems fun!

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ecstilson-blog · 5 months

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Throughout my life, I’ve written letters, addressed them to God, and dropped them off at the post office. I did this when my first son died, when I got divorced, and when I finally attained my bachelor’s degree after being a single mom. I never included a return address or a clue to my identity. This was just my message in a bottle, so I felt like Heaven heard me…

Today, I thought about this at the pharmacy. Mike had tried getting my prescription, but there are national shortages on many medications—and mine are some of them. “They ran out,” Mike said, coming back to the car. “Sorry that took forever; there’s a huge line.”

“But… my oncologist called yesterday. They have just enough for 18 days.” And then I did something I rarely do in front of Mike; I cried.

We walked back into the pharmacy to see six people in line, and as we stood there, my right leg began to shake. “You should go sit down.”

“It’s okay,” I told Mike. “I don’t wanna miss when it’s our turn.” They hadn’t listened to him. Maybe they would listen to me.

At different points, each person in front of us glanced back. They all seemed around my age (40) or younger, healthy, probably doing some Christmas shopping. Then, I had the audacity to think, “Why don’t they offer to let us go ahead? Mike was just in here. And I can barely stand this long.”

One man in line called his mother and complained while we waited. “Hi, Mom.” He paused. “Yes. Just at the pharmacy. There’s a huge line.” Another pause as he glanced back, listening to her reply. “Right?! He said he can’t even face his friends unless he gets a new gaming system this year.” He exhaled with such force that I clocked it at 50 mph. “Oh! And you know I take Nicki on a shopping spree every year? It just never seems to be enough. I hate this time of year. Are all women that needy? No wonder men joke about marriage.”

Mike looked at me and smirked. I plastered a smile onto my face, but it felt subpar. I thought of this woman, “Nicki.” Meanwhile I’m just praying for another week, another day, another moment with my family.

After a bit longer, they called us up and my leg shook so badly that I held the counter in a death grip. “I have terminal cancer,” I said, my eyes pleading with the pharmacist and my knuckles turning Porcelain 10.

“It’s for Magagna, right?” He looked at Mike, remembering him from earlier.

“My oncologist called yesterday and said you have enough for 18 days,” I begged.

“But like I told your husband, we can’t fill this for the full 30 days. We don’t have enough for this prescription.”

“My doctors’ office is closed for the weekend, and I’ll be out of this tomorrow. If it’s not too much to ask, can I please have the 18 days?”

He typed something into the computer, and my breath stopped. He practically held my life in his hands. “This’ll take about 15 minutes. I’ll come get you when it’s ready? You can take a seat over there.”

I noticed then how stressed the pharmacist looked. “I’m sorry about the line,” I suddenly said. “This must be a stressful day for you too. Thank you for your help.”

His peered at me and Mike, his eyes widening with disbelief. “What you're both going through is so much worse. I’m sorry you have cancer.”

“Well, let’s just say I didn’t ask for it.” I tried to laugh, but it came out like a hiccup. Then I turned away.

Mike decided to shop for some ice melt, and as I walked toward the chairs, I fought falling into the throes of irony. A private corner seat, behind a display of reading glasses, seemed ideal. I felt secluded as I mulled my thoughts. Why had this hit me so hard? Then it came to me, the thing I’d said to the pharmacist: “Let’s just say I didn’t ask for it.”

One of the hardest things about cancer is knowing it can affect anyone. I’d gone from participating in marathons to barely being able to walk to my mailbox. I faced the pharmacy’s northwestern wall and tears flooded my cheeks. I have terminal cancer. And there’s no denying it. Every moment in pain is a reminder.

God, not this! Not here. Wiping my face with my scarf, I dug a medical bill from my purse and flipped it over. “Dear God,” I wrote, hoping to calm down.

Dear God,

I didn’t choose this situation, and right now that’s hard. I don’t want to have terminal cancer anymore. I want a day where I don’t feel sick at all. Even ONE day. Just to remember what that was like. I’ll appreciate it so much. God. I feel trapped in my own dying body.

I hate knowing that without certain medicine I’ll die. I hate that these are my fears while some man’s wife is upset that she won’t get as much STUFF as she did last Christmas. Seriously?! I need strength. Strength to stop judging people.

Strength to keep getting cancer treatments. Strength to not complain and let this turn me into a bitter person with a curdled soul. No one can uncurdle milk! (Well, I guess YOU can.) But anyway…

Another person called last week and said I should quit getting treatments because I don’t have a quality of life. I laughed at first, but on my hardest days, I remember their words and it’s hard to keep going.

God… I’m sorry to be so judgmental. I really am. I’m working on it.

AND… if it’s not too much to ask, can you please give me strength? I know you’re gettin’ a lot of requests though, so if you can’t, I understand.

-Elisa

—

At that moment, I glanced toward the counter and spotted a woman who looked 10,000 times worse than me. She’d lost her hair and probably weighed 100 pounds—even with her walker. She could barely walk and hunched so badly; I wanted to pick her up in my arms and hold her tight. Why hadn’t I looked back when I was in line? Why hadn’t I offered to trade HER places? Screw my aching hips and shaking leg. Why hadn’t “I” done more? Then the answer came: Because I was too wrapped up in my own problems. And that’s exactly why other people hadn’t offered to help me…

Woah. Mind blown…

I suddenly felt sympathy for the man whose family always wants more. I felt bad for his wife who doesn’t know what really matters. I felt even more compassion for the pharmacist who’d just been yelled at and wiped sweat from his brow. And I felt a bit of strength come with every second that I stopped focusing on myself.

“You wanted to swing by the post office?” Mike asked as we walked out of the store.

I looked at the letter I’d written on a medical bill. It simply had my first and last name above all of the numbers. For the first time, I’d broken my one rule: to never write a letter to God that included personal information. “No, it’s all right. We can just go straight home,” I said.

With one hand, I crumpled the bill and threw it into a big garbage can at the front of the store. God had already answered my prayer. He’d given me strength AND empathy. I guess He really can hear us anywhere, even in a pharmacy in southeastern Idaho. Plus, He didn’t charge for same-day delivery or anythin’.

For more posts like this, please follow my page at https://m.facebook.com/realecstilson .

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bobbys-naughty-corner · 3 years

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So I’ve been playing dead by daylight recently and searching fan art of the game so now I’m horny for slashers. Here’s a fic of pyramid head

Warning: noncon/dubcon, 18 +, explicit. Read at own risk

Pyramid Head x reader

I woke right beside a generator and quickly rushed towards it. I hated when the trail started, I’m sure everyone does. And this place always made me more uncomfortable than any other. The killer being Pyramid Head gave me the hardest time. I’m used to getting caught and hooked but not caught and fondled. He’d know exactly where I was and always chased after me as if I was the only here. I wanted to get out of this school as quickly as I could. “Hey.” Feng whispered as she came to help me with the generator. I nodded her way and she told me she saw Pyramid Head on the other side of the school last. She knew I had the worst time with him. I heard the start of another generator across the hall, I guess that was the other survivors. Feng and I were close to finishing but when I saw Meg and Jake run pass the classroom my heart instantly sank and I felt uneasy. We’re they being chased. My heart beat thumped loudly in my ears and Feng and I both knew Pyramid Head was coming. But we didn’t even bother leaving the generator, we were so close.

Feng gasped and looked above me. I felt my body yanked and slammed against one of the desk in the room. Pyramid Head wrapped his hand around my neck, choking the life out of me. Feng flashed her flashlight in his face and he let me go, shielding himself from the light. I gasped and coughed, rolling off the desk and running away. I heard Feng cry out and she sprinted out the room limping and trailing blood. I helped her down the corridor and we rounded a corner to the infirmary and I covered her mouth as she cried in pain. When my heart beat stopped pounding in my ears I instantly healed her up. Using some of my clothing to bandage her wound. “Thank you Feng. Can you continue or do you need a minute?” She shook her head and stood up like she was never hurt. “Let’s go, we have one generator left.” And right as she said that we heard the doors turn on. They fixed all of the generators? Jake and Meg were really good at the generators. We left the infirmary and headed towards the Teachers room we’re we met up with Jake. “Hey! This way!” He beckoned us over and we rushed over to him. He led us to the doors that was already being opened by Meg.

My heart beat again thuddd in my ear and everyone scattered. Well everyone except Meg. She bravely stayed opening the gate even while Pyramid Head approached her. “Meg! Run!” I yelled at her. The killer turned his huge cone head towards my voice and began walking towards me. I ran down the corridor, his large very oversized sword dragging against the floor as he chased me. He was slow but not as slow as Michael. I heard the blaring sound of the gate opening. If I could just get around him I’ll be free. I ran up the stairs to the second floor and entered the equipment room. Hiding in the corner. I panted and tried to steady my breathing as I heard his sword clanging against the stairs as he came up. Should I have ran further? Maybe, but it was too late for that now. I didn’t hear the dragging of metal, I know he was on this floor. My heart still thudded in my ears, so I know he was close. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. He was absolutely terrifying. My legs shook and my body dripped in sweat. Calm down, you’ll get out of this. Just relax. I took a deep breath in and out. But I nearly lost my shit when a hand clasped over my mouth. I opened my eyes wide and panicked but calmed down when I saw it was Jake. He put a finger to his lips to shush me. I nodded and he took his hand away from my mouth. He led me out of the room and down the stairs. We crouched and crept to the door. Jake stopped when he heard clanging infront of us. He pushed me against the wall and pressed his body over mine, caging me in between his arms as we hid from Pyramid Head. My chest touched his as I took heavy breaths. “Listen. He’s just going to keep going after you so I’ll distract him and you run to the door okay.” Jake said. He looked into my eyes and smiled a little. “No, I can’t let you do that. You could be killed.” I replied back. Our whispering was pretty loud but the tension only grew when we heard the killer again. “I’ll be right after you. I’m only going to run around the floor once and head straight for the door right after.” He said. I shook my head which made Jake frown. “Do you want to get out of this alive or what? We can’t just argue until he gets us. Now when I say run, you run. Got it.” He was stern and his tone was deep. As if talking to a child. I just sighed and nod my head in agreement.

Jake peeked out the door and motioned me to follow him. We continued to crouch towards the door. When we were close to the door we heard running. Fast, heavy thudding footsteps coming right at us. We turned around and saw Pyramid head sprinting. Since when?! We scrambled to our feet but Jake tripped over his laces. When I went to go help him back up he pushed me. “Run!” He yelled at me right before the sword pierced through his body. The sword even went through the floor. Jakes blood quickly spilled and touched my boots. I pushed myself back as Pyramid Head stepped towards me. I turned around and tried to run but he grabbed me by my hair. I was so close. The gate was right there. I cried, kicked and screamed as he dragged me down the corridor. He dragged me into the teacher room by the stairs and forced me over the desk. My face against the desk while his other hand held my hip. I gasped and jumped when I felt something grinding on my ass. His hand tore my shirt from where I had ripped it to help Feng. He grabbed my bra and tugged on it a couple of times. “Wait! What are you doing?! Stop!” I tried to push myself up but he was definitely stronger than me. The little muscle I had and height couldn’t even compare with him. He was a real beast. He pulled my bra this time making the fabric rip, the wire underneath cut my skin and it came off. He grunted, pleased to see my exposed back. Trailed his huge hand down my spine. Gurgles coming from the inside of his ‘head’, as if trying to speak.

He released my hair and my body. When I tried to get up he pushed me back but still didn’t hold me down. “Agh!” I cried at the force. I tried getting up again and he slammed me harder into the wood. I stayed still knowing if I moved he would just do the same thing. He wanted me to be against the desk but didn’t want to hold me down. After a couple of second of obeying him he raked his nails down my back. Digging into my skin enough to draw blood as his hands trailed from my shoulders down to the dimples above my ass. I kept silent, crying to myself as the pain of his nails nearly had me kicking. I forced myself to stay still. I felt the flat end of that pyramid on his head drag the blood down my back, playing with it and painting my skin in my own blood. His hands came beside my body on the desk and he bang to grind his bulge against my ass again. His grinding turned into humping. He pushed up my skirt and put his hand back on the desk and humped my ass, his bulge hitting right at my covered heat. He was rough and pushed my body into the desk, making the desk shake every time his hips slammed against my butt.

I was undeniably wet. My vagina enjoying the teasing of him trying to fuck me through our clothes. Well what ever it was he wore. I whimpered and held back my moans. My hands covering my mouth. I shouldn’t be enjoying this. His humps got faster and I couldn’t hold back anymore. I moaned out and he pressed a hand to my lower back keeping me and the desk steady as he continued to thrust against my vagina. I heard small sounds of pleasure, grunts and groans, coming from him. Of course he was enjoying this. It was sick. What got him all riled up? Was it the killing? It couldn’t be? He didn’t do this to anyone else. But how would I know? I wouldn’t tell anyone about this. Did he does this to Meg, Claudette, or Feng? Would he even care whether if they were male or female? I was taken away from my thoughts when I felt his finger slide against my panty. I gasped and squirmed away, covering my breast and crawling on my ass. He growled angrily. He pointed to the desk and I shook my head. “Just kill me!” I rather die then go any further. He grunted and pointed at the desk again. “No!” I yelled. He stomped over to me and grabbed my arm. I yelped and stared at the pyramid as if looking at his face and whimpered. He pulled me up and brought me back to the desk. Gurgling and squishy sounds emanating from the Pyramid. It made me cringe. He was clearly trying to speak. He pointed to the desk once more and released my arm.

I shook my head no and he pushed me. He kept pushing me. Trying to make me to lay on the desk on my own. As he pushed and shoved me he growled. “Okay! Okay!” I yelled at him. I bent over but he lifted me back up and shook the Pyramid left and right, ‘no’. He didn’t want me in that position anymore. I used one hand to jump on the desk and lean back. He let out an approved grunt. He knelt down and the metal pyramid touched the bottom of my breast. He pushed my thighs up and apart. I stared at the ceiling and tried to remove myself mentally. Thinking of my new friends. Knowing that they’re back at camp, probably wondering where I was but safe until another trial. I gasped and nearly sat up when in felt something long and wet swipe across my slit. The pyramid vibrated as if he was laughing. His fingers moved my panty to the side but he still ripped them. His hand then came up and grabbed mine. I flinched away but he grabbed them again, gently this time. Entangling his fingers in mine, I let out a shuddered moan when the wet appendage licked my exposed folds. My hips bucked slightly and my legs rested on the edge of the desk. Did he really have a tongue? Does that mean he has a head? No, at least I don’t think so. The Pyramid was too narrow for anyone to wear.

He licked up and down my folds until his tongue slipped passed them and found my clit. “Mmmm!” I squealed through my closed lips. His right hand left my hand and used my arousal to soak his dirty fingers. I felt disgusted having him touch me like this but it did feel good. He was gentle this time. Unlike when he was humping me. I’d soon eat my words when he forced two fingers into my vagina at once. I cried and grit my teeth. My free hand pushing at his head while my other hand squeezed his. He grunted and I felt the wet muscle poke my clit. Flicking at my clit teasingly making me moan. His fingers scissored my hole, stretching me out. It felt uncomfortable since he was a big and thick man thing. His fingers moving in and out of me, the sounds of my wet pussy filled my ears. I squirmed underneath him and he groaned. His ‘tongue’ or whatever it was entered my hole between his fingers. It was longer, really long, and it licked my insides so nicely. My eyes rolled back and his fingers slowly slid out of me, holding my thigh as his tongue are me out. I felt my stomach sink in but also expand as my bladder filled up. I know that feeling. As many times as I loved it I hated it now. “Please stop I don’t want to.” I cried. He just continued and massaged my thigh. My arousal dripping down his chest and I was so close to cumming on him. He growled and the vibration sent me over. My back arched as much as it could and I cried out, I squirted over him and he pulled his tongue out. Tears streamed down my face and my legs closed when he stood up again.

I heard that thing he wore fall to the floor. He was now naked and I couldn’t look away from him. If he was clean I would be able to appreciate the massive body he owned but he was dirty and covered in blood. When I looked down I panicked when I saw the size of his cock. That’s not normal. No. Get it away from me. “Enough please! Just kill me!” I kicked his chest as he tried to grab my legs. “No! No! Stop! I said stop!” I kicked the Pyramid and he stumbled back. Groaning in pain. I guess I hit a sensitive spot. Of course I did, that heavy thing attached to his body was bound to be sore on his neck and shoulders and I’m sure it could never come off. “Please kill me, I want to see my friends.” I said. I was tired of this. This wasn’t apart of the trails. It was just escape or be killed. Why was he doing this? He shook his head and grunt, coming back towards me. His hands groped my boobs and I gave up. I was too afraid to kill myself and he wasn’t going to do it until after he had his way with me. He pinched my nipples, I whinced in pain and he immediately let go. My legs wrapped around his hips as he pressed his bare cock over my clit. Grinding on me and he played with my breast. He moved his chest closer and the pyramid lightly sat over my head. He grabbed my hand and put it on his chest. My hand touched his body. It was a beautiful body, too bad it was dirty, the scars that was on him made it more beautiful. He moved my hand down to his nipple and I grazed it lightly. Feeling it becoming hard at my touch. I took a deep breath and sat up. He moved back and I used both of my hands to touch him. His cock throbbing at my soft hands. Tracing his veins, the sculpt of his abs, the definition of his arms, appreciating his massive form. He pulled my waist towards his body, the thing I assumed was his tongue came out and licked my cheek. I shivered and let him lick my face. Sucking in my lips when it got too close. His hands held my head gently and he brushed back my untamed hair.

He pushed me back onto the desk and slowly spread my legs. He positioned his cock at my hole and I stared off at a wall. Not wanting to watch him take my virginity. But he wasn’t having that. He turned my head by my chin and made me stare at the nonexistent head that was replaced with an oversized metal cone. He pushed in and my teeth gritted. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I chanted in my head. He was huge, too big for me but he kept forcing himself in. His hips clapped against mine but his cock didn’t even go inside. It slipped up, he spread my legs wider and tried again. He slipped again and let out an irritated gurgle. “I-it won’t fit.” He nodded yes, as if saying ‘yes it will.’ I shut up and let him try again. This time he used his hand to steady himself so his dick wouldn’t move anywhere. The tip slowly moving in, I whinced and cried as the stretched became unbareable. He was spliting me apart, I wasn’t as prepared for this as I hoped I was. His two fingers didn’t even compare. He growled as he moved in further, scratching my thighs and leanig his head back. I watched his dick sink into me and I even saw the outline of his cock through my skin. Blooding dripping down his balls and my ass as he tore my hole. I mentally thanked my parents for giving me my body, I couldn’t imagine being smaller and trying to accommodate to his size. I mean to him I was of course still small but it wasn’t so bad. He let go of my thighs and put his hands beside my torso, clawing the desk, the wood chipped under his nails. I wiggled my hips trying to pleasure myself and he immediately pressed a hand over my hip. I whined when he stopped me. Again he gurgled, why did he keep doing that, I can’t understand him. He stayed still and massaged my body. Soothing the pain from me. He was all the way in, our bodies connected. I suddenly just realized that my heart wasn’t thudding like it would normally if the killer was close. It was quiet. My body eased as if there was no threat. The warmth of his hands caressing my body.

“Please move.” I begged him. Glancing off into the distance before looking back at him. He slowly brought his hips back and slowly pushed back in. I felt my slick gush as he moved, feeling myself getting wetter just from one thrust. He grunted and picked up the pace. “Ahh, please more.” My hand reached out to his chest and he held my hand. Fucking me faster. My eyes rolled back and I bite my bottom lips, smiling to myself as my body was encased in pleasure. He groaned and held my hips as he began to go harder. Pounding away at me like I was some doll, but when i slapped his chest and cried out he slowed down. Rubbing his tongue over my cheek as an apology. I nodded and his tongue licked my nipples. I didn’t feel much at my boobs but knowing that his tongue was there sent shivers down my spine and euphoric shocks through my body. His dick abusing my cervix giving me beautiful pain.

“Mm! Oh fuck! Good! Feels good!” I praised him. His hands tightened at my hips and he bucked harshly but went back to his original pace. “You’re making me feel so good.” I continued to praise him. He let out a gargle that sounded like he was happy. He likes the praises? “Yes! Just like that, right there! Ahh! Yes!” I moaned. He felt amazing. My hand moved down to my clit but he moved it to his shoulder. He put his thumb in my mouth and dragged it over my teeth, gums and tongue. I sucked on it and got another groan from him. He pulled his thumb out and placed it on my clit. Fucking me as he rubbed my sensitive bud. “Oh shit!” I yelled. My eyes squeezed shut as an overwhelming feeling of pleasure hit my body. My insides felt like mush, my pussy felt sore and numb but the way his dick hit my cervix just proved how much my body loved it. The way I moaned, panted and yelled was music to him. My body convulsed under him as I came again. My mouth hung open in a silent cry as I came on his cock. He didn’t stop, he fucked me through it. But he did go faster. The desk moving under us, it was really loud. Pushing the desk towards the wall as he fucked me relentlessly. Rearranging my guts and making me stupid over his dick. I babbled nonsense and my body was numb and weak under him. Using me however he pleased just to get himself off. Making sounds like an animal as he brutalized my pussy. It was overwhelming. Why did I like it? Why was I enjoying it? Please stop. “Don’t stop.” I panted. The fuck was wrong with me? His tongue licked my lips and I opened my mouth letting it in. Tasting blood as he explored my mouth. Using his tongue to fuck my mouth.

He slammed into me. Again and again and again. He was close, his thick cock throbbed inside me and his hips stuttered once. His tongue still down my throat. I moaned over it and sucked on it. His thumb rubbed my clit again and I bucked my hips. It was so sensitive, he made me jump and move. My orgasm built up again. My bladder filling with fluid as I felt my stomach tighten. I choked on his tongue and gasped when he removed it. He pulled out and rubbed my clit faster and I squirted again as he shot his cum over my body. My hole clenched around nothing as I came. I shudder, shook and cried out. I bucked wildly and my eyes crossed. He pressed my hips down to help me relax. I panted and took deep breaths to help me get over my orgasm. When I finally relaxed he scooped his cum on his finger and put it in my mouth. My tongue lapped it up like it was an icicle. Moaning slightly just to please him. He groaned and stroked my cheek. He then left the room. Coming back with his blood stained sword. I dropped to my knees and waited for him kill me. He pulled me up to my feet and pat my head. Just do it! I yelled in my head. He brought the sword up to my neck and slowly sliced my jugular. Gagging on my blood, the pain was unimaginable.

I woke up at camp, my clothes back on and no evidence of what happened on me. “YN! Jesus Christ what took you so long?!” Feng ran over to me. I stayed silent and just curled up into fetal position.

#dead by deadlight #dbd the exicitioner #dbd pyramid head #pyramid head x reader #pyramid Head smut #smut #x reader smut

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spxllcxstxr · 3 years

Text

Teaching a Moderately Old Dog New Tricks • S.B

(Gif not mine)

Request: could you do a older sirius x younger (tonks' age) reader, maybe he's in denial about liking her because he thinks he's too old but she doesn't think that way. — @msmb

Summary: The man you fancy has been avoiding you. Tonks gives you an idea.

Warnings: alcohol consumption, mention of cigarettes, kissing, older man/younger woman (but reader is Tonks’ age), light mention of remadora (does that need a warning?), Sirius is a bit self deprecating, heated make out, Moody’s all seeing eye

Word Count: 1.6k

A.N: Inspiration hit at 1am. Uhhh Kissing can either be well written or extremely cringe. I can’t tell what category my kissing is in, so possibly sorry in advance? OotP Sirius is so hot and I will love him forever. Hope you guys enjoy. Love you all❤️

****

“So how’re you and Sirius?” Tonks asks, her hair a violent shade of violet as she swings her legs over the arm of the couch at Grimmauld Place. She takes a sip of her daisyroot draught, excited for any news.

“I don’t know.” You respond, swirling your own goblet in your hand. “How’re you and Remus?”

You smirk as she almost chokes at the mention of the man of her dreams.

“I asked you first.” She shoots back after her coughing fit goes away.

“You’re annoying.” You take another sip.

“Cry about it.” Tonks huffs. “But don’t change the subject.”

“Merlin, I wish I had an answer for you.” Groaning, you run a hand through your hair. “He seems to be pulling away from me, yet again.”

“Ugh, men.” Tonks mimes a fake gag.

“I mean, he pulls me into a broom closet for a quick snog and now he won’t even stay in the same room as me!” You cry out.

The draught is sweet in your mouth as you down the rest of your goblet. “‘Ugh, men’ is right. I will never understand them.”

“At least you get a snog.” Tonks retorts. “Remus barely grazes my fingertips passing me a piece of parchment and suddenly he’s all pink and avoiding me for weeks.”

“Are they that daft, or are we just shit at flirting?” You pour yourself some more daisyroot draught.

The murky pink of the draught bubbles and sizzles near the top of the cup.

Grimmauld Place is mostly quiet, the kids were all asleep and someone paces in the room above. There’s faint laughing coming from the kitchen, but that could be one of the Black family portraits, so it’s no concern of yours.

“It can’t possibly be the latter because if I remember correctly, flirting was our specialty back in school.” Tonks winks from her stretched out position.

“Oh yeah.” You muse sarcastically. “All those people we managed to seduce at Hogwarts...”

“Hey! I snogged Penny Haywood seventh year!” She declares.

“It was a game of truth or dare! We all snogged Penny Haywood!” You exclaim, almost spilling your drink all over your robes.

“My point still stands.”

The house groans and creaks in your comfortable silence, Kreature’s dragging gait echoes through the corridor.

“Sirius has nice lips.” You sigh dreamily, your thoughts once again preoccupied by him. “Would love to snog him again.”

“You should.” Your friend replies. “At least one of us needs a proper love life.”

“But he won’t talk to me...” You childishly whine. Pouting, you drink from your goblet.

“Well maybe you should be the one that pulls him into the cupboard next time.” Tonks shrugs, waving her wand to fill her goblet once more.

“You’re brilliant, y’know that?” You perk up at her idea.

“I’ve been trying to tell you that since we were eleven, (Y/n). Can’t believe you’re just now admitting it.”

The night gets cut short after that, mostly because the two of you have work in the morning and the Ministry of Magic was already unbearable sober. Hungover at the office meant a lot more suffering than usual.

You’ve never been more thankful for Molly’s desire to put the gaggle of kids to work around the house.

Even when you get back from the Ministry the the next night, they’re all still galavanting with doxycide upstairs, letting the exhausted adults have a moment to relax.

That’s when you decide to strike.

There’s an extremely convenient and mostly empty broom closet on the ground floor close to the kitchen that is just ripe with opportunity.

Tonks gives you a thumbs up and shoots you a wink as she passes you and strides into the kitchen. You’re leaning against the doorframe, pretending to be preoccupied with checking your nails, but in reality, you’re watching and waiting for Sirius to come a little closer.

His black curls with the occasional strand of grey rest on his shoulders. His velvet burgundy blazer stands out against the dark wood and blue theme Grimmauld Place seems to really enjoy and embrace. You watch his gold pocket watch glimmer in the flickering orange candlelight and how he twists the rings on his fingers.

Your heart flutters at the mere sight of him.

He finally breaks away from his conversation with Remus before turning around and making his way towards you.

He struts closer, heels clicking against the floorboards and your hands jitter in excitement. You’ve never been one to initiate these types of things before.

“Alright, (Y/n)—“ Sirius starts, reluctantly nodding his head in greeting.

But since he’s within arm’s reach, you grab his soft lapels and pull him into the broom closet.

With a flick of your wand the door shuts and you’re plunged into even dimmer lighting.

Your hands are still tightly grasping at his lapels and you have to admit, you’re a little breathless as you fervently press your lips to his.

Your eyes flutter shut and you press your chest to his own, effectively pushing him harder against the wall. You moan, feeling him kiss back. He tastes distinctly of firewhiskey and cigarettes and you’re loving every second of it. His lips are addicting as they move in tandem to yours. Sirius’ hands trail up to the back of your skull, pulling you closer to him, something you enjoy and gleefully let happen. The closer to him you are, the better.

The heatedly deep kiss sends a thrill throughout your body. Here you are, snogging the man you’ve fancied since the day you met him, in a broom closet of headquarters. Instinctively, your heart skips a beat.

One of Sirius’ hands detaches itself from your hair and instead, trails its way down your body to rest on your lower back. A jolt of excitement sparks and flares up inside. Goosebumps erupt underneath his warm hand. He squeezes your body tighter, quickly taking control of the situation.

Unfortunately, air becomes something that you’re losing fairly quickly and when you reluctantly spilt apart, you’re extremely aware of his swollen red lips. They stand out between the dark hair of his beard.

You’re panting as you cling on to his blazer for stability. The moment your lips touched, your knees practically gave out.

“What was that for, poppet?” Sirius pants as well, grey eyes looking into yours.

“Merlin, Sirius, do I really have to spell it out for you?” You smirk, still breathless. “I fancy you.”

“You what?” His eyebrows dart up in surprise.

“I fancy you? Like I want to go out for a drink sometime. Or I guess, stay in for a drink since—“ You ramble.

“You can’t fancy me, (Y/n).” He interjects, hands slipping away from you.

You carefully remove your hands from his figure in return. “Oh.” Awkwardly, you stuff your hands into your pockets. “And why’s that, then?”

Anxiously, he begins to twist the ruby ring around his thumb. The broom closet feels a lot smaller than before and the burn of embarrassment feels even harsher.

“I think you know why.” Sirius evades the question.

Your brows knit together in both confusion and annoyance. “No, I really don’t know why, Sirius, so please enlighten me.”

“Godric, (Y/n)!” He cries out. “I’m an old ex-convict with a fuck ton of issues! You don’t want that kind of baggage!”

Sirius scowls, not at you, but at himself.

“You’re in your thirties, Sirius. If that’s old than Mad-Eye’s ancient.” You try your best to joke and make light of the situation.

However, you see that your attempt doesn’t work.

“Hey, I don’t care that you’re older than me. I like you because you’re this handsomely charming and charismatic guy that shares my issues with authority.” Hesitantly, you bring your hand up to his neck. He leans into your warm touch. “And I really like you.”

“I’d be more of a burden than a boyfriend.” He mutters.

“You’re no burden. Not to me.” You reply, stroking his beard. “Never to me.”

“I’m a bit rusty.” Sirius confides. “Haven’t had a partner since the seventies. And I’m not the same person I used to be.”

“Neither am I.” You shrug. “Mostly because back then I was a wriggling little lump.”

Sirius snorts.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” You question, tucking a few strands of stray hair behind your ear.

“I felt bad.” Sirius confesses, straightening out his blazer. “Felt like I was manipulating you by leading you on so I was trying to get you to hate me. Trying to convince myself to get over you.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t succeed in that endeavor?” You tease your bottom lip with your teeth, innocently looking at the man in front of you.

His grey eyes are kind and soft gazing into yours even after years and years of torture and misery.

He’s someone to admire.

“Getting over you is probably the hardest thing I’ve attempted.” Sirius laughs. “And I escaped Azkaban.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Sirius.” You muse, rubbing the back on your neck in embarrassment.

“Flattery will get me everywhere, poppet.” He winks in return, amused by your gesture.

“So can we give it a shot?” You ask, praying to Merlin he agrees.

“Sure poppet, why not?” He grins, his white teeth poking out from the intense red.

In a swift movement he has you flipped, your back now pressed to the wall as he passionately places his lips back on yours.

You hands tangle themselves in his wild hair, his sneaking around your waist. You tug at the locks and he hums in approval.

Suddenly there’s a large bang against the door causing it to shake on its hinges.

“Oi!” Tonks’ voice rings out.

Sadly, Sirius pulls away just enough to rest his forehead on your own. His breath hot on your face.

“Mad-Eye says that if any clothes come off he’s barging in there, so wrap it up!”

Your mutter out a curse as you attempt to untangle yourself from Sirius.

“Also (Y/n),” Tonks yells again. “knew you had it in ya.”

•

Sirius Black Taglist: @fific7 @quindolyn @msmb @lunalovecroft

All Character Taglist: @aspiringsloth20 @amourtentiaa @cherie-draco

#Sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black imagine #sirius black fluff #the marauders x reader

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mindofharry · 3 years

Text

In which it’s your husbands birthday and you have the perfect gift.

SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR CHRIS! IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU GUYS TO READ THIS!!!! I HOPE YOU LOVE THIS SMALL BLURB. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHRIS, MY BELOVED! REBLOG, FEEDBACK IS WELCOME AS ALWAYS!!! HAPPY READING :D

mentions of ivf! other than that, a whole lot of fluff!! <3

You found out were pregnant a few days ago. It was unexpected, but you were thrilled. You cried and cried on the bathroom floor, taking test after test with your sister leaning against the door her eyes widening in shock every time the test came back positive. It was no shock that you and chris wanted kids. Even more meeting each other you both knew kids were for you, from a very young age you knew you wanted to be a mom. You would play the mom in every game, your siblings can vouch that you were like a second mother to them - very bossy, but they loved you for that. Chris was the exact same, and he was so unbelievably good with kids. At the family gatherings kids would just surround him, wanting to play with him and get carried everywhere he went. This role was just made for the both of you.

While you sat on the bathroom floor, looking at these tests you became so overwhelmed. You and chris hadn’t been trying, you tried very early on in your marriage and nothing seemed to happen. You really thought something was wrong with you. You tried ivf, all of those treatments, hacks you found on the internet. Nothing seemed to happen. Chris was the most supportive and kind person through it all, and he never once blamed you for this even though you very much blamed yourself. But you both got through it and decided you’d try again soon or maybe adopt in the future. You both wanted kids so badly, but maybe the time just wasn’t right.

You had found out were pregnant a week before chris’ birthday. You wanted him to know so bad, to be here with you. But he was on a trip for some work and you didn’t want to tell him this over a phone call - and hey, you hadn’t gotten him a main present yet. So this will have to do! You just know chris will be over the moon. As of right now, you, your sister and the doctor you visited after taking the test are the only people that know of your pregnancy. Of course you wanted chris to be there with you for the first ultrasound, but you were just so shocked that you needed a professional to confirm the tests.

You and your sister are definitely the worst people at keeping secrets. It was what you guys were known for in the family. You were both bursting at the seems to tell everyone and anything the news. Your sister agreed with you on keeping this a secret until chris’ birthday, she knew he would be even more surprised. And it would be so much better if you did it in person. He gets home late on the saturday, so it’s the perfect time to do it.

You had it all sorted out.

You wake up early, prepare pancakes and some coffee for chris to eat in bed. A little cuddle and kiss, before you’d sneak off to the closet to grab all of his presents. You had bought him clothes, a new watch, some of his favourite candy and a a romantic night away in a fancy hotel next month. In a small, white bag would be the positive pregnancy test and a baby grow with the words ‘Can’t wait to meet you daddy!’ plastered on the front.

The next couple of days were tough to say the least. You were throwing up non stop, and you were in bed sleeping all day for most of the week. You had told chris, that you looked after your mom when she got a stomach bug and must of passed it on to you so you were just taking it easy. He seemed to believe it and you were able to convince him to stay on his trip.

You can’t wait to see him.

You missed his kisses and cuddles a lot. That’s basically what got you through the week, knowing the chris would be home and ready to kiss and cuddle you on sunday.

By saturday, you were feeling a little better. The morning sickness was still there, but you weren’t getting sick every two seconds so that was a plus. You prayed that this wouldn’t stick, you hate getting sick.

“Baby?” Chris whispered as he walked into the bedroom. You were fast asleep panned out on the bed, your book on your stomach and glasses still over your eyes. Chris laughed to himself, taking your glasses and book away and on to your bedside table. You looked beautiful, even asleep. He hated being away from you for so long, but it was the best feeling in the world to finally snuggle with each other again. Chris was definitely a sucker for cuddles. Even when you two were still get to know each other, you knew he was a cuddler and very handsy. He just loves being around you, and mostly on top of you - he means that in more ways than one.

His birthday is always so special with you. When you were dating he didn’t really expect much, just a cake and a few gifts. But you always went all out and so did your family. He was forever grateful for you and the new family you brought with you.

Chris tucked you into the bed, kissed the side of your head and got ready for bed himself. He brushed his teeth, then stripped down and hopped into bed. You immediately rolled over and cuddled yourself into him, chris sighed in content as you buried your head into his neck. He missed you so much and he was so fucking glad to be home.

You woke up bright and early, all on your own surprisingly. You looked over and saw chris laying on his stomach sprawled out on the bed. You giggled to yourself before kissing his shoulder and getting out of bed quietly and slowly.

Making the food was probably the hardest thing to do. The scents and the fridge smell was making you want to puke and never eat anything ever again. Thankfully, you got through it not getting sick once. When you went upstairs with the food, chris was still fast asleep. You think he was messing because he jumped up about 20 seconds after you entered the room. You smiled, amused at the little performance but quickly moved over to sit on the side of the bed and give chris his food.

“Honey….” He trailed off taking a bite of the pancake. You pecked his cheek, a blush forming on his cheek. “Amazing” He said gulping down his orange juice.

“I love you, happy birthday” You said grabbing the gifts from the closet. Chris shook his head sighing.

“You got me so many things. You know i don’t need all of these” He said and you pouted kissing his lips. “No, but you deserve them” You said and chris smiled opening up his presents.

Then came the last present. Your heart was beating so quickly and you’re sure chris could hear it. You were so nervous, but so excited for his reaction. Would he cry? Laugh? just smile? So many thought ran through your mind. You’ve both wanted this for so long and now it’s finally here, you just don’t know how he’ll react and it’s making you beyond nervous. You think you might actually get sick now.

Chris puts his hand in the bag taking out the baby grow first.

“Babe, dodger will not fit in this” Chris said and you laughed turning the baby grow around and then taking out the pregnancy test. Chris looked at the writing on the baby grow and then to the positive pregnancy test. He looked up at you, tears in his eyes and he immediately placed his lips on yours. You were surprised, but kissed back immediately.

He pulled back and leaned his forehead against yours sniffling a little. You placed your hands on his cheeks.

“You’re pregnant?” He asked and you nodded.

“10 weeks. I’ve known all week, wanted to surprise you” You replied and chris shook his head looking down at the baby grow.

“I love you” He said and you grinned.

“I love you, too. Baby loves you so much already” You said placing a hand on your stomach. Chris bit back a sob putting his hand on yours.

“We’re going to be parents, baby. What the fuck” He said and you laughed sitting down on his lap.

“Yeah, but we’re gonna be pretty fucking cool parents”

#chris evans #chris evans fluff #dad chris evans #dad chris evans imagines #chris evans x you #chris evans dad blurbs #chris evans fanfic

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espressokiri · 3 years

Note

hello !! how about kuroo (you can add more if you want) being in a long distance relationship, like both live in japan but they're really far away ? how would he deal with being away and not seeing each other a lot 'cause of work and everything ... feel free to ignore ! have a great day/night :]

Kuroo Tetsurou x GN!reader

In which reader is in a long distant relationship with Kuroo.

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Note: Hello anon! Please don't be afraid to send asks, I'll gladly work on them <3 Have a good one!

It wasn't unusual to be in long distance relationships, especially in this day and age where the internet holds the power to connect people from afar. For Kuroo, it was the hardest thing to endure being away from the person he had grown fond of romantically.

He had willingly joined Kenma in a local convention that took place in Tokyo, browsing through the selection of demos they had on display for the upcoming releases of anticipated games while Kenma had stood in line to try out the new horror game he was waiting on. A hand reached out and grabbed the princess Peach retro Nintendo 3DS game that was beside the male, he glanced at the extended arm and set his eyes on the person next to him, freezing as he came across someone who seemed to make his heart race from first glance.

Y/n had been looking everywhere for the princess Peach game as they remembered playing it when they were younger at a friend's house but could not get their hands on it when they searched afterwards. An excited grin splayed on their lips as they held the game firmly between their hands. They glanced at the tall male beside them, only to find him staring back with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Sorry! I've been looking for this for a while now. I probably look weird getting all excited like that." Y/n bashfully placed a hand behind their neck.

Hearing their voice made Kuroo flustered and a blush arose on his face as he realized he was caught gawking at the stranger, "n-not at all! It was kinda cute. I-I mean! Oh God, I probably sound like such a doofus right now." He muttered the last words to himself as he looked away in embarrassment.

A stifled laugh cut the tension Kuroo was feeling, "I'm L/n Y/n, what's yours stranger?"

"Kuroo Tetsurou."

"So tell me, what brings you here?"

That was the beginning of the friendship turned relationship between the two, despite the long distance from Osaka, where Y/n resides, and Tokyo.

Y/n didn't mind the distance, but they did often crave the feeling of physical intimacy such as cuddling or small romantic gestures that would make anyones heart flutter. The closest thing that had made them feel that way was when Kuroo had surprised them by mailing a physical letter along with a delivery man sending off some flowers and chocolate during Valentines day.

Being high-school students who weren't allowed to work part-time jobs because of school regulations was upsetting, otherwise they would have saved money for train tickets to visit, but they still hope one or the other would end up visiting if their family made plans.

"Did you see that, Y/n?!" Kuroo grinned as he turned himself towards the phone that was perked up on the bench by his water bottle. Kuroo had them 'attend' his volleyball practices with the team, feeling more motivated whenever they would watch the team practice. "That was very cool block reading, Tetsu!" Their voice echoed from the phone speaker, their video showcasing them laying in bed on their stomach with their homework splayed around them.

"Stupid captain shoving his love life in our faces!" Yamamoto cried, running away before Kuroo appointed him extra laps.

"L/n-san! Do you think I'm ready to be ace yet?!" Lev pushes his way toward the phone, Y/n being acquainted with the team members now due to the constant video calls during practice, "just a little more practice but you're doing good, Lev!"

"Oi! Don't praise him for a bad job, L/n!" Yaku yells from the background.

Kuroo picks up his phone, the back warm from the constant usage, "we'll finish up here and I'll call once I'm back home?"

Y/n nods and gives a thumbs up as they stare at the oddly endearing features of Kuroo in captain mode, "I'll see you then!"

It also noteworthy that Kuroo can get insecure when he's not kept busy between school and practice, the sense of dread builds up day by day until he calls them in the middle of the night to clear his thoughts. He feels as if he isn't giving them enough because of the distance between the both, feeling as if they would be better off with someone they can physically see on the daily. It especially hits him hard on days when Y/n is in off moods or too tired to pick up the phone or bother with messaging.

Kuroo doesn't even realize the tears that begin to slip, lips wobbly as he stares up at the ceiling. His heart felt heavy and he didn't know how to explain the sinking feeling in his stomach.

Kuroo sits up on his bed and grabs his phone to call Y/n.

It took a couple of rings before a groggy voice from the other line answers, "what's up, Tetsu?" Voice heavy with sleep as the video shows Y/n shifting to turn on their lamp on their nightstand.

It was only when the male sniffled that Y/n looked at him clearly, eyebrows scrunching together with worry as they tried soothing him with words, "what happened, baby?"

"Do you regret this?"

They frowned at his words, "of course not, Tetsurou. What has you thinking that?"

Kuroo then poured his heart out at three in the morning to the person he finds solace in, it hurt Y/n's heart seeing him wipe his tears with the back of his hand and they wanted nothing more to be next to him and pull him into a bone-crushing hug.

"I'm perfectly happy with the way things are with you, Tetsu. It only makes it all the more exciting and precious when we do get to meet! Like they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder." Y/n grinned as the male slowly nodded, sniffling coming to an end as he wiped the remainder of his tears. Oh how Y/n wanted to hold his face between their hands.

"I also got the ticket for the next Tokyo convention, with extended stay! We'll make the best of it, okay?"

Kuroo nodded, his frown melting into a small smile as he started mentally planning how they could spend the couple of days they would have together.

"Also, please don't doubt us. We're almost done with high-school! Maybe we'll be closer together in college." Y/n winked as they blew him a kiss through the screen.

"I love you." Kuroo uttered the three words he had been holding back on, freezing as he realized what he had said. Y/n was too tired to process anything quickly, that beat of silence causing a bundle of anxiety to form in Kuroo's stomach, only relieving the tension when Y/n had said it back when they did understand what the male had said.

"I love you, so so much, Kuroo."

His heart swelled.

"Is it okay if we fall asleep on the phone?" He asks shyly, slinking down into the covers and getting himself comfortable. "It'd be more than okay."

Y/n had almost immediately passed out, their phone held upright on their nightstand with the lamp still on. They were asleep on their stomach, with hands tucked under their head, facing the camera. Kuroo had taken a screenshot before he placed his phone down, propping it on his own nightstand, and laying on his side as he glanced at Y/n another time before he let their breathing lull him to sleep.

It was in the morning when Kuroo's mother had come in to wake her son that she saw him peacefully asleep with Y/n on the phone sleeping as well. A soft smile grazed her lips as she was proud of the way her son had grown up to be, happy he had found someone to be vulnerable around.

#kuroo tetsuro imagine #kuroo imagine #kuroo x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu scenarios #kuroo fluff #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo scenarios

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elysianslove · 3 years

Note

hi eli bby !! its me vio again shhshf

i loved ur vball player crush hcs w miya twins && suna and can i have that too w sakusa, semi && shirabu ? MY UNDERRATED BOYS CRIES SM <//3 thank u sm <33

hiiiii my love!!! tysm for requesting these boys i love them so much. i hope you like this lysm <3

sakusa kiyoomi

considering what i’ve seen in the anime, and some manga panels, i really don’t think omi’s a peoples person. so even in school, i doubt he was very involved with other students, and probably kept to himself

he’s also hyper-aware of his surroundings constantly, including the people around him, so the fact that he noticed you wasn’t a shock

it’s that he noticed you, and then he couldn’t stop thinking about you

probably had some dream about you that same night that cursed him with a crush on you yk the dreams i’m talking about right?

he still continues to keep to himself, and whenever he spots you from his peripheral vision he just dashes out of there. he realizes that forcing himself to act normally around you might actually improve his situation and help him get over whatever this stupid crush was but he was not taking any chances

he also knew nothing about you, just your last name!

so anyways both the boys and girls vbc’s are heading the same school, so they got one bus for the both of you and combined them.

because his general dislike for crowds, omi usually sits out in the front, especially because the door to the bus is right next to him. idk he just seems like the kind to map out an escape plan for every room/vehicle he enters i don’t have a reason why i think so

the game was happening on a weekend, really early, like way too early, so it wasn’t a surprise that you were tired. it’s an unspoken rule that those who sit in the back make a lotta noise and all that, so you opted for the front seats instead to at least try and rest a bit before the game

you don’t sit directly next to him, but there’s only an aisle separating the two of you

because, yk, manners, you give him a small smile before saying, “good morning!” and settling in your seat, your bag between your legs

omi on god freezes up lmfao

he doesn’t mean to sound so rude but it just comes out that way! he says something along the lines of “what are you doing here?” and immediately regrets it after it leaves his lips. he visibly cringes

but instead of being thrown off, you just laugh, and sakusa curses everything behind his mask because holy shit were you gorgeous and wow was his stomach just somersaulting

not a nice feeling

you explain to him briefly that you’re on the vbc and you were heading to play the girls of the same school he was gonna play against and all that, and he just hums and nods and tries to ignore the thump thump thump of his heart

you don’t really interact during the bus ride going to, it’s coming back that you do

you tell him that you managed to glimpse the last bit of his game, where he was landing a spike, and you complimented his skills and pointed out his freakish wrist move

he noted that he didn’t get to see you play and your brain went opportunity!

you go “well maybe you should come to one of my dates” like the absolute smooth talker you are

omi just hums and goes “i’ll see”

absolutely is there lol

the development into a relationship is more implicit than explicit. the two of you don’t announce to the world, but honestly, neither do you do it to yourselves. like you’d been on a coffee date with him at some point and your parent or sibling texted something you found funny and mentioned him as your boyfriend and you showed it to him and he was like

am i your boyfriend

like idk am i your girlfriend

he said yeah obviously

i love this boy so fucking much pleaseeeee

but yes just as your development into a couple is subtle, so is your overall relationship. and honestly? you wouldn’t have it any other way

semi eita

omg pretty setter semi eeee

so yk how shiratorizawa students live in dorms? there’s no way semi hasn’t noticed you before, even if it’s separate dorms for different genders. like you two probably come across each other every once in a while at a vending machine or something, and exchange a word or two

it’s not until when semi starts to look forward to seeing you, or when he gets disappointed every time you don’t make an appearance, that he realizes, you know, he’s kinda developed a liking to you

he doesn’t really know much about you, aside your name and your favorite go-to snack from the vending machine, so he’s left a little frustrated at the lack of interactions you two have. like he’s just living off that small laugh of acknowledgment and the hi, hope you sleep well! you know? like he wants more from you. he wants to get to know you

he can’t seem to ever see you in school either, because the stars hate him that much and don’t wanna align for the two of you, not even a little to share one class with him. just one

it’s just his luck, though, when a busy weekend for all the sports teams comes along, and each sport is sectioned off to a bus. volleyball boys and girls in one bus, swimming boys and girls in one bus, etc.

he really doesn’t expect it when you get on the bus, because what the fuck you play volleyball??? and then he really doesn’t expect it when you recognize him, gasp and grin, and wave at him, and go over to sit by him

his brain’s short-circuiting

you immediately start conversation as you’re setting your bag down like “i didn’t know you played volleyball!”

and he laughs and nods like “i didn’t know you did either”

it’s honestly a really cute and satisfying moment like okay maybe the stars were just taking their time aligning thank you universe

the two of you click immediately. like annoyingly so. you have so much in common, and you spend the entire ride chatting excitedly about everything and semi’s wishing he’d just asked you to hang out way sooner, like as early as the first time you’d met at that vending machine

the girls’ games finish a lot later than the boys, so he comes and watches you play, and is enamored by you, completely. in his head he’s just ‘this girl just keeps growing more perfect.’

he walks back with you to the bus, and sits next to you as well. when you arrive back at the school, you don’t immediately go to your dorms, and he suggests grabbing a refreshing drink from somewhere nearby

it’s incredible how you still have so much to talk about

the time passes really quick with him

it’s while you’re having that drink with him, probably iced tea or boba or something, he tells you about his small passion for music, and you make him promise to play you something at some point. he loops his pinky with yours :)

he also confides in you about having been replaced on his last year, and how he tries not to let it affect him but he really can’t help him. from then on, after each of your practices, you invite him in your gym, and have him set to you, just so you both have an excuse to spend time with each other, and so that he gets to practice and play the way he really wants to, without any restrictions placed upon him and no one waiting to take his place

i think as a couple you’d probably really bring out the best in each other, and you’re constantly always, always there for each other. really, really reliant and supportive as partners, you know?

you go to all his games, and whenever he’s pitched in, you scream his name the loudest and cheer him on so much. one look at your face, and he’s reminded of who he is and why he does what he does, and he’s immediately grounded aw <3

shirabu kenjirō

omg shirabu with a crush 🥺🤲🏼 i love it when characters seem so cold and standoffish but as soon as they’re around the people they care about they do a 180. that’s shirabu 100%

he really, really, really liked you. like it was embarrassing at this point. he totally denied it every time anyone even thought it, and he really tried his hardest not to be obvious around you

i like to think he saw you around school and that’s how it developed a little, but maybe you were friends with some of the vbc boys because of your shared interest in the sport, and you come to play with them sometimes after practice, he’d just never be there

but one time you walked in and he was like guess im not leaving

he was a little starstruck at the fact that you played volleyball. he honestly wouldn’t care, but it sorta felt nice that there really was something that you two had in common

and you were good. at everything. you received semi and ushijima’s serves, and goshiki’s and ōhira’s spikes, perfectly, and reacted to tendō’s blocks so well, and hit his tosses just right. you were incredible. maybe your skills were magnified from his specific lens, but there really was no denying you were skilled

damn this. all this.

especially any time you’d spike his toss and give him a really wide smile and say, “nice toss!” like seriously the way his heart’s spasming cannot be healthy what the fuck

and then he finds out the girls are sharing a bus with them, and then you walk in

and then you walk towards him

obviously, outwardly he looks unimpressed and unfazed but trust, his palms are sweaty as fuck

before the bus moves, you stand by his seat and make small talk with him about volleyball, before you realize the bus is moving and you have to sit down, but you’re still in the middle of a conversation with him, so you just sit next to him and continue like nothing happened

he just. allows it.

the school you’d been going to had a really big court where both the girls and boys were playing in the same gymnasium on opposite sides of the court, so when you arrived and changed and all, you were like “wanna warm up together” couple goals <3

pls semi, taichi and tendō would probably tease the fuck out of him lmfao. he’d just glare at them but he has such a big blush on his cheeks as he stretches and warms up with you that the glare is completely ineffective

you go to sit next to him on the bus ride home, but the day’s exhaustion catches up to you, plus the bus’s movements are lulling you, so you end up falling asleep on his shoulder, and when shirabu first notices that you’d actually fallen asleep, he looks down at you with such a dreamy and awestruck face. goshiki took a picture and likes to torment him with it. shirabu has it as his lockscreen now lol

as your boyfriend, he’s the exact same. very standoffish to everyone outwardly but to you? it’s a different story.

nonetheless it’s not very obvious. so yes, he will have a scowl on his face as he tells you off, but his lips are slightly upturned and there’s a little pink shade on his cheeks that show just how endearing he thinks you are

really loves to practice with you because he loves seeing you in your zone like that. also you look hot

anyways yes he’s such a cutie i will not take criticism

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #hq x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa headcanons #sakusa kiyoomi headcanons #semi x reader #semi eita x reader #semi headcanons #semi eita headcanons #shirabu x reader #shirabu kenjiro x reader #shirabu headcanons #shirabu kenjiro headcanons

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secretlittl3whore · 3 years

Text

Not a Nightmare

Summary: You’re reminiscing over the last year when you hear Bucky having a dream in the other room, but it’s not the kind of dream you were expecting.

Pairing: Reader x Bucky Barnes

Warnings: smut! Unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your Willy). A little angsty first. Swear words. 18+ y’all please!

Enjoy my sweet nymphs. As always, you can request ;)

——

His nightmares kept him up most nights. It had been that way since i had connected with him in South America. He wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore, he really didn’t even know who he was, except what he could glean from the Captain America exhibit and from what I could share of what Steve had told me. Part of me wondered if I made the right decision to follow him instead of returning to America, but when he recognized me and in the two weeks I was down there, attempted multiple interactions with me, I couldn’t deny him when he asked me to stay. I wish I understood why he asked.

Now here we are in Bucharest. Times are calmer for him, but the nightmares...they’re worse than anything I expected. Sometimes, he will awake screaming at night. Others he’s trying to fight some imaginary enemy and doesn’t wake till he’s forced. On occasion, I have been the victim of a night terror. His vibranium arm crushing my throat or him slamming me into the floor. Bucky always felt like shit afterwards, no matter what I said. At one point he tried to kick me out of his apartment and his life, saying he was too dangerous for me. I sat outside the door for six hours, listening to him cry. When I finally had knocked, he practically ripped the door of the hinges to grab me back in. He dropped to his knees that day, his arms wrapped around me as he buried his tear covered face against my stomach. It broke me to see him in such a vulnerable position. I remember running my hands through his hair for what seemed like forever until his grip around me loosened and his arms fell limply to his sides.

“Why did you stay? After, after all I’ve done?” His voice broke, as more tears slid down his face. My own eyes welled with tears as I kneeled in front of him. Slowly and gently, I took him in my arms, pulling him against me. Bucky tensed for a minute, but then slowly wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my neck. I went back to running my fingers in his hair, contemplating my response.

“Because I want to be here for you. In every way possible.” A silent sob racked his body and I felt more of his weight on me as he crumpled. Bucky laid his head in my lap and brought his flesh hand to rest on my hip. He kept his vibranium on the floor, away, fear radiating from the way he curled it away from me. “Give me your hand Bucky.” He raised his head off my lap with wide open eyes.

“But...” he started to protest, but i shushed him, placing my finger on his lips.

“I’m here for you in every way.” I emphasized the last two words with a small smile. I wasn’t afraid of him and I certainly wasn’t afraid of his arm. “That means,” I reached for his hand and took the cool metal fingers within mine, “you don’t have To worry about keeping yourself from me.” Reluctantly he allowed me to bring his arm up to my lips. I knew he couldn’t feel it, but I kissed his had, listening to the soft whirs and enjoying the feel of the cool metal against my lips. Bucky continued to cry for a while more, my sleep shorts practically soaked and my legs so numb that I was probably going to have to crawl to bed. But he never let go, never moved his head, and never tried to remove his arm from my grasp.

Since that day, he has been exceedingly touchy with me. It was clear he was touch starved, I would be too, if all i ever knew was a harsh hand. I started to notice it when I had just returned from the market with groceries one day. I swore he had been asleep on his makeshift bed and I was trying to be as quiet as I could, but then felt a presence and a hand on the small of my back. I threw him a small smile over my shoulder before returning to my task. He stayed there for the entire time I put the groceries away, leaning against the fridge door and absentmindedly rubbing the exposed skin of my back. It was the hardest fucking lesson to learn, but I finally had enough willpower to not jump when he placed his cold fingers against my skin. I honestly loved the feeling of his metal pads dragging softly against the small of my back, but gosh dang were they freezing! Even despite the fact that he wore gloves almost all the time.

Nonetheless, i started to notice it more and more after this. Him standing close to me, having his hand on me at any point (or simply just brushing it against me), sitting near me, and my favorite, him laying his head on my lap when I’m sitting in the couch.

Had I fallen in love with the super soldier? I cannot deny it.

—

A whimper from the living room ripped me from my head. I sat up in the bathtub, trying to see if the sound was just in my head. Another whimper told me it wasn’t. I wrapped myself in a robe and padded softly into the living room where Bucky slept.

He wasn’t thrashing around, but his face was contorted in an expression I couldn’t read. Suddenly, a small moan left his lips and I just about swooned. What was this man dreaming about? At that moment, his blanket fell to the side and I averted my eyes respectfully, but definitely didn’t miss the tent that had formed in his sweat pants. I turned to walk away but then he moaned again, this time saying a name...my name.

I felt hot, not just in my face, but also in between my legs. He was dreaming about me? I almost didn’t believe it, but the man said my name yet again. Fine, if he says it again...

“Y/n...” Bucky moaned, a little louder this time. Damn it. Mustering all my confidence, I walked over to the sleeping man. It was a risk, and I knew it, but I’ll be damned if I lied to myself and said I didn’t want this man. Kneeling beside his bed, I gently brushed some of the hair out of his face. The super soldier startled awake and grabbed my hand harshly, breathing raspy. “y/n...what?” Voice sleepy.

“You were dreaming.” I said simply. He sat up quickly and pulled the blanket over himself, averting his eyes from my gaze. “Bucky,” he still refused to look at me. “Do you want me?” Bucky immediately snapped his eyes to mine, a clear and potent blush on his face. I heard him swallow hard before replying in the most quiet of voice,

“Yes.” Inwardly I celebrated as loudly as I could, but I kept cool on the surface. I surged forward and captured his lips. He responded immediately, moving his lips against mine. Without breaking the kiss, I straddled his lap wrapping my arms around his neck. Tentatively, he brought both hands to my hips. I licked his bottom lip and invaded his mouth when he opened. He moaned into my mouth as my tongue danced with his. When I pulled back, our breaths were short. His blue eyes glistened with tears,

“Are you sure you want me?” If it had been any other moment, I probably would’ve just cried and held him in my arms, but there was such a confidence within myself that I decided against such a meek answer. Instead, I pulled at the tie of my robe. Bucky almost instantly grabbed my hands, his eyes wide. “What are you doing?”

“Showing you just how much I want you.” As he relaxed his hands, I pulled the robe off. The cold air within the apartment perked my nipples. Bucky’s eyes traveled my body, but he didn’t move. Slowly, I led his hands to my chest. His metal hand played a dangerous game of temperature play with my breasts and a moan escaped from me. My cunt ached and I knew that I was wet from anticipation.

That moan must’ve given him some sort of confidence because he started to knead the fleshy mounds. He then dipped his head low and took a nipple into his mouth.

“Buck,” I moaned. His tongue laved over the nipple and I felt his teeth pull gently. I was a raspy, moaning mess by the time he switched over to the other nipple. Need friction. Taking his flesh hand from my breast, I guided it down to my aching cunt. Bucky stopped his lavishes on my nipple as he stared at me.

“I’m...” Bucky averted his gaze, “I’m out of practice.” Before he could get into his head and start comparing himself to his 1940s version, I kissed him deeply.

“So am I, we’ll learn together.” Bucky inhaled deeply and dropped his head to my shoulder. A finger touched my sensitive nub and I jerked. He started circling that area with his thumb as his other fingers explored, gathering wetness. A finger entered me and I gasped at the feeling. Another entered. Moving in and out, curling, and gently stretching me. I was a moaning mess at his musings. A white flash smashed my vision as he hit a certain spot within me and I moaned loudly. Bucky started kissing and licking my shoulders and neck, marking the skin as he paid attention to this spot within me. My moans spurned him on as he quickened his pace, still making sure to play with my clit.

“Buck...Bucky.” His name a mantra on my lips as I grasped his hair, my head falling backwards. His metal arm reached around my back, holding me in place. My orgasm was building, toes curling, that warmth within my belly. His fingers pumped and curled, edging me to the end. In a another flash of white It surged through me and I came on his fingers.

He looked surprised and proud of himself as he brought his soaked fingers to his lips. I almost came again as I watched him lick each one clean. His pupils blew out and he pulled my face to his, smashing his lips against mine. Tongue surged past my open lips, bringing the taste of me. Bucky lifted me off his lap and gently turned us around, laying me on his bed, but never breaking the kiss. He worked his pants off.

I pulled back from the kiss, my lungs screaming for air. He leaned upwards and I finally caught the full show. His dick was massive, too swollen and red. The veins popping. And fine curly hair at the base. He was Definitely bigger than I have ever had. I gingerly reached out and wrapped my fingers around him. Shit, he was thick, I could hardly touch my middle finger to my thumb. I looked up at him. His eyes were closed, mouth opened just a bit, and his hands were in his hair.

“Buck?” I brought his attention to me and he released his hands from his hair. “What’s wrong?” He had tears in his eyes again.

“I don’t want to be something you regret y/n.” He cried. I reached upwards and guided him down to my lips. His tears dropping onto my cheeks.

“Never. I’ll never regret you. I love you.” I whispered into his ears. Bucky froze. Oh shit, did I go to far?

“Say it again.” He spoke finally, still frozen in place, his ear next to my lips. I swallowed hard before repeating,

“I love you.” Bucky reached down between us, pumped himself twice, before lining himself up at my entrance. He pushed forward gently. Even with just the tip inside, I could already feel the stretching. He entered more, going slow. Bucky and I moaned loudly as he became fully sheathed inside. I grasped at his shirt, feeling full. There was a dull pain within my cunt and I breathed through it, the pain finally turning to pleasure. Almost as he could sense it, Bucky started to move. The rhythm was slow at first, him enjoying and getting reacquainted to the feeling.

My entire being felt jolted with every roll of his hips. His pubic bone was hitting my clit so perfectly that even at this slow pace, I was sure that he would throw me over the edge again. Bucky leaned closer to me, making sure to keep his weight on his forearms, and buried his head within my neck again. Wrapping my legs around his waist, i fisted my hand within his hair. He groaned and snapped his hips hard against me. The sound that left my mouth was pornographic, and he definitely liked it. Bucky started snapping his hips into me at a bruising pace, drawing moan after moan. I was incoherent, arching my back into him. He suddenly grabbed my hand from his back and thrusted it against the bed, holding it at the wrist. His metal hand hoisted my hips higher, and at the angle he was going, he was smashing into that special spot. I came in an instant, screaming loudly.

He didn’t let up his pace. Pulling out almost entirely before slamming back in. Both hands were now at my hips, gripping hard. There would be bruises in the morning. Groans and moans were rushing past his lips as he powered through, his stamina definitely a byproduct of the super soldier serum. Another orgasm built within me and he leaned over my ear,

“Fuck y/n, I can feel you clenching. Can you give me another doll?” I threw my head back as he bit into my neck.

“Bucky!” I cried as the orgasm came. Bucky slowed his pace, pressing open mouth kisses to my skin. He then began to work a mark into my neck. My body was on fire and really sensitive. I moaned loudly, fisting my hands into his shirt. For a moment I wondered why it was still on, but I figured that although he may be confident to be within me, he may not yet be confident to show me himself fully, and that was okay, we could work towards that. Once he was proud of the mark, he placed a loving peck to it before moving towards my face. Not an inch was left unkissed. He leaned his forehead against mine, blue orbs staring into mine.

“Ready?” He asked. I nodded slowly, kissing him gently. Bucky picked up his speed and this time, it was more brutal than before. Pubic bone smashing against the sensitive bundle of nerves, wet legs and balls slapping against skin making the most perverted of sounds. Bucky’s hands gripped mine. I arched into him again, writhing, unable to control myself at the amount of pleasure within. My moans were incoherent, his name slipping from my lips. Suddenly his hips stuttered and he slammed into me, wrapping his arms tightly around me and crushing me against his chest. His release came with my name on his lips, a string of soft repetition. For a while he held me, his cock warm within me. And then he pulled out, laying beside me. Sweaty bodies, heaving chests, and the smell of sex was an intoxicating combination. I felt drained, but happy.

Curling against him, I wrapped my leg around his hip, just to feel him against my cunt. Bucky reached down and pulled the blanket over us. As I felt sleep take over, Bucky pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“I love you too Y/N.”

#winter soldier smut #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes #sebastian stan #winter soldier #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky imagine

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mazuwii · 3 years

Text

Eren Jaeger SFW Alphabet

Authors note: I hope this is feeding you guys because I am dragging this motivation by its hair😤

I was going to do Bertholdt next but I got a request for Miche so either of them will come out next😄

If you guys can’t comment (I’ve no idea how to turn replies on) Then I’m Lunology on wattpad, just comment on my aot scenarios book and I’ll post here! <3

—A (Affection, how affectionate is he?)

•Not the most lovey-dovey person in the entire cast, Eren is really shy when it comes to conveying his feelings for you. But when you both are alone, and he's comfortable with you he can hug you, or pinch your cheeks as a way of saying "You're so cute I could squish you into nothing."

•He has a very aggressive way of showing affection, like biting your cheek, kissing places with his hands clamping shut on them, it's difficult to get him to let go.

—B (Bestfriend, what would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

•Being best friends with Eren is a wild ride. You'd think he adopted you as a best friend being the loud, boisterous extrovert that he is yet you're the one always getting him out of trouble.

•He's loud, fun, spontaneous but incredibly annoying. My guy will SPAM you with useless TikTok videos, his entire fyp on your messages.

•But he's very funny too, he crops your faces on animated videos and it lowkey looks so shit that it's funny.

•As your best friend, Eren will fight anyone who even thinks about threatening you (lmao he can't fight) so you're just stuck with scolding him and disinfecting his bleeding lip💀

—C (Cuddling. Does he like to cuddle? How would he cuddle?)

•If he gets a random wave of gratitude he'd just randomly burst into your room and hug you, it would be sooo random. You're just playing a game and this guy hugs you but as a joke, he walks around the room while hugging you so the chair you're on walts around everywhere with him. Once you understand what this weirdo is doing you just burst out laughing with him because you both look dumb.

•Like the dude is just staring into space when he remembers that one time you slapped a teacher for him, or almost got yourself in trouble to give him something and he just goes: ƈ ͡ (ुŏ̥̥̥̥ ‸ ŏ̥̥̥̥) ु COME HERE Y/NNNNNN!!

•Eren is a pretty fun boyfriend, wouldn't just stick to a cuddle session, it would be more like... playing a game on the console with you sprawled out on his lap.

—D (Domestic. Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

•While Eren wants to tie a knot when it comes to you and him, having children never ever crosses his mind. It's just fun fun fun until you're twenty-eight and you're asking when he wants to have a mini Jaegar. He just looks a bit taken back because it isn't an easy job...

•And when it comes to cooking and cleaning, he's actually somewhat good at cleaning, never missing a spot with his aggressive wiping. However... I don't see him as a cooker if you get me💀 probably burnt his finger while boiling water and never tries again.

•If we're talking about domestic then yeah maybe, maybe he does have a nice husband in him. Not one that pretends there's a spider on you when you wake up... or nOt one that hogs the pillows.

—E (Ending, If he had to break up with his partner, how would he do it?)

•He felt as if he wasn't giving you enough and that other men could satisfy you. Eren would be too scared to face you when he breaks the news so he would leave a note and completely disappear from your life.

—F (Fiancé. How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

•Eren doesn't really put labels on things, at least, he says that... the guy calls you wifey even though you aren't married. Sure he may think about it for a few minutes but quickly shuts himself down since he's extremely shy when it comes to chatting about the two of you

•Eventually when he goes to all his friends' weddings, he gets jealous and decides he should put a ring on it LMAO, you can expect him to be incredibly flustered and even play it off with a 'cool' when you say yes. It's best you hug him so that you don't see how red his face turns.

•I'm just sayin' he's going all out for your wedding, it's so funny, he's so extra... why are their ten limousines? Men shooting guns upwards the moment you both kiss?! A fucking food fight-

—G (Gentle. How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

•If we're talking about physically, he is not gentle and he doesn't even try to be. He sometimes accidentally hurts you but never misses a second to kiss the spot and over-apologise. But Eren would never think about hurting you on purpose unless it was a life or death situation.

•Emotionally, he's fragile and would love reassurance. Emotionally, towards you, he doesn't be careful, always giving you jump scares, purposely pranking you

—H (Hugs, do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

•For you, he loves aggressive hugs where it's breaking your bones and he just lifts you off the floor and violently shakes you around like he can't get enough of you.

•He loves loves loves loves LOVES hugs when you two are alone and treating you like your a happy huge dog, ruffling every single part of your body for no reason at all and rubbing you with a relaxing force...?

•Again, Eren is very shy so you'd have to start hugging him first for him to get used to it and eventually, he'll be the one knocking into your body for a bear hug

—I (I love you. How fast do they say the L-word?)

•Eren says I love you through the number of shits he gives (Not literally)... If he cares about you he worries a lot and checks up on you almost all the time so

•It would probably be at a time where he did something so risky and you got so scared that the moment you caught onto him you cried it out, he'd apologetically say it back and hug you, with meaning of course.

—J (How Jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

•Coming from someone who tries her hardest to make this accurate, I can say Eren gets jealous to the m a x

•At first he thinks to himself that you'd tell whoever it is flirting with you to fuck off but his pride shatters when he realises you didn't say anything and it doesn't sound like you will

•My guy either walks out in dismay and gets petty with you afterwards or he walks up to you and tells you the both of you have to go home before shooting a dirty look at the flirty dude or straight up telling him to piss off

•That may result in a physical fight 💀 that guy needs anger management classes...

—K (Kisses, what are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

•For Eren, I can say that he doesn't make out often but when he does he'll probably leave your lips bruised, he has an obsession with biting your lip at the wrong time💀 he's too rough on most occasions, it isn't fun... calm down Jaegar.

•Eren loves kissing your cheek, except he bites it and leaves a slobber of saliva on it. He thinks it's cute as fuck, he won't stop.

•As for where he likes being kissed... he likes feeling delicate and loved so he really enjoys it when you sweep his rapunzel ass hair aside and kiss the temple of his forehead

—M (Mornings, how are mornings spent with him)

•The blanket is probably completely off of him and his leg is resting on your hip. He's an animal so the guy wakes up at like...6am without an alarm- it isn't even a training day! It's a day off! And he still wakes up at that early time.

•A few morning exercises for an hour before he attempts to wake you up... violently.

•Listen! Eren likes making breakfast with you, it doesn't feel the same without you- it's defintely not because he has no idea how to work the gas and oven🌚

•He's very funny and social when he isn't hungry so mornings are pretty fun with him, cracking a few jokes while getting you dirty with pancake mix (he said he can't control where flour goes, this is why you don't get him to cook)

•And then after that, it's time to shower... idk you decide if you'll go in with him¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Just sayin' his skin is very red afterwards, my guy uses cold water but scrubs so hard with the lufa-)

—N (Night, how are nights spent with him?)

•Like I said, Eren is like a dog, he spends his days using his full energy and he makes sure to use it all up so by 22:00 he should be knocked out.

•Eren isn't too bothered on cooking so you both probably just watch something before bed while eating take out

•afterwards it's a... really boiling hot shower, brush your teeth, have a conversation in bed for a while until you're both falling asleep at the sound of your voices.

•"Hah... loser... I can...- I can see you falling asleep *Jaegar yawn* first..." even though he's the one with the heavy, falling eyelids.

—O (Open, when would he start revealing things about himself? Did he say everything all at once? Or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

•Eren is very hesitant when it comes to being emotional, he thinks it isn't very masculine so you have to remove the toxic part away and reassure him millions of times that just because he cried, it doesn't make him girly.

•It would be an accident, he'd be trying to go stargazinh with you, you were resting on his arm and he was rambling and the subject suddenly got onto him. Without realising, he spilled everything right then and there... somehow without crying.

•The least you could do was hold on his hand and squeeze it gently... I doubt he's paying attention, he's probably scowling in memory.

•It's best you reassure him that nothing is his fault, nothing could have prevented what happened

—P (Patience, how easily angered are they?)

•He is very impatient to say the least, a control freak.

•When things don't go his way, he shouts, punches walls, scrunches up his hair but the moment there are tears in his eyes, everyone needs to leave the room

•oh ho ho HOOO you don't want to Eren to cry from anger, he turns into the silent kid with a glock in his bag... leave him for an hour and you'll come back to a fully destroyed room👁👄👁

—Q (Quizzes, how much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

•He remembers dumb small details, your favourite flowers, why you don't like public bathrooms, the reason you won't stop annoying his half brother 💀 (You wanna know Zeke's wiping technique... who doesn't?!)

•However he can't for the life of him, remember your doctors appointment or to pick up your medicine... he's halfway home and goes "Fuck-"

—R (Remember, what is his favourite moment in your relationship?)

•He and you go out on a lot of dates, but they're always wacky and messy. One of his favourites was when you both attacked Armin at the beach with water guns and then both Armin and Mikasa were both searching for you to get revenge

•You two hid behind a palm tree, giggling lowly with each other, aiming to attack your two oblivious friends but little did you both know, they heard your low confident remarks and lunged from behind the tree with two full buckets of freezing sea water dumped on you.

•He always remembers that day when he drifts off into a daydream and it always makes him smile

—S (Security, how protective are they? How would they protect you?)

•Trust me when I say... Eren would kill for you...

•So in conclusion, he is very protective and would not hesitate to take far measures to protect you. He's pretty much your ride or die

•While he doesn't show his protectiveness, he acts on it... if that makes sense? Listen, he's very protective but he's sneaky about it! I don't know how to describe it

—T (Try. How much effort would he put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

•Despite how immature he seems, Eren completes all tasks in his day. And he makes sure of it

•When it comes to dates, it's very random... more spontanous but it's always something like. "Oh by the way, we're going to a waterpark this Sunday." Orrr "Babe! Get ready, we're going to eat out with Armin and his girlfriend!"

•You have an hour and a half to get ready so I would call your relationship active 😭 not even sexually active just active.

•Eren can be thoughtful but you have to shove your interests in his face for him to know what you want. Cartoon posters? He catches you watching a lot of gravity falls, steven universe, AWOG, etc... and then anytime he sees stuff to do with that in shops, he gets it for you on the way.

—U (Ugly, what are some bad habits of his?)

•Like I said earlier, Eren has some... mild anger issues🌚

•Nothing can calm him down, unless you have Ackerman strength I doubt you can stop him. He has no idea how to deal with his emotions so it just bubbles up and then he sees an object and thinks 💡 this can take my shit load of anger

•The walls probably have a lot dents yk and calming him down is very difficult but to be thoughtful, you tried getting him a few things to help him deal with his stress properly

—V (Vanity, how concerned is he with his looks)

•Couldn't really give two shits about his appearance, my guy grew rapunzel ass hair and just tied it up because I doubt he's bothered to take care of it

•Sure he wouldn't mind you washing it for him and applying conditioner, in fact, he loves it.

•Eren doesn't care about his appearance and just throws on a hoodie and sweatpants most of the time. You have to choose the shit he wears when you go out on fancy occassions 💀

—W (Whole, would they feel incomplete without you?)

•Again, to Eren, you're his world and he'd do anything to make sure that world is safe and healthy so without you, who would he feel the need to protect?

•Okay MAYBE he doesn't like worrying but he just does so I guess that would be a good thing if you broke up but it isn't as worth it💀

•But ever since you've been his sunshine cheerleader, he can't imagine a morning without your whining ass voice, or fighting with you to the bathroom in the morning, jumping on your back out of nowhere

•You're everywhere in his head, of course he couldn't feel whole without you

—X (Xtra, a random headcannon for him)

•Anytime Eren loses at something(it could be a hobby or a game) he'd stop doing it. Just dropping the entire thing.

•Unless he feels competitive, that always fires him up to do better... so in a way, Jean motivates him to do things. Those two actually care for each other but they hate each other (not literally) they're like siblings!

•Sorry, am I making sense?💀

—Y (Yuck, what are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in person?)

•First of all, my mans fucking hates chocolate, put it near him and he'll kick it or throw it against the nearest wall.

•Like Eren was such a good boi when he was little, eating everything his momma put on his plate, even the brussel sprouts he fucking despised.

•But chocolate is his last straw. Chocolate and peanut butter. It gets stuck to the roof of his mouth and he panics like a drama queen, fanning his face like a princess and washing his mouth with his heart POUNDING against his chest

—Zzz (What are some sleeping habits of his?)

•He sleeps pretty normally, when he turns he lets out a soft satisfied groan, which I'd say is ordinary

•As for his sleeping weight, I'd say he's a heavy sleeper, you'd need to shake him to wake him up, slap his face or something because when that sleep is BUSSIN he won't be WAKIN (bad joke sorry)

•And he's gaping. Shut his mouth please.

•His hands may accidentily fall on some places on your body, he places them everywhere. Like on your nose, on your belly

Authors note:

Have you guys noticed that I don't add the letter L🌚? *shocked noises*

Jaaaa that's because I don't wanna write about kids so forgive me lmao

I'M SO GLAD THIS IS FINISHED! I WANT TO ADD EVERY CHARACTER COS I FEEL SO BAAAAAD FOR NOT DOING A LOT OF YOUR REQUESTS!

Deadass my brain just went bye bye when it came to writing and I recharge by reading actual original work by published authors, it helps me get back on track

Bertholdt/Miche is next!

#Eren #eren fluff #eren sfw #eren yaeger aot #eren yaeger #eren jaeger #Ereh!#erehhhh #mikasa moment #eren x reader

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