#poor Jevin | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

In Q3 of 2020, 31% of US users access the Tumblr app daily.

whereismycaplock · 1 year

Text

iJevin, when he found his hotel neighbors snore like chainsaw :

#well its his sleeping box #poor jevin #Pilot AU

3 notes · View notes

kitsunespawz · 4 months

Text

Chapter 5! Whee! I totally didn't finish this drawing five minutes ago idk what you're talking about

Anyways, @evilrat-sabre did an amazing job on this chapter - as always! - and I can't wait for you guys to see the next one :D

#I did the entire coloring in two hours I dunno what posessed me #pretend I bothered with some interiour design in the hallway and didn't just make it a glowing nothing thx #poor xB get's a break soon I promise!#hermitblr #fanart #xbcrafted #jevin #evil xisuma #kitsunedoodlez

29 notes · View notes

piglinmyfeet · 4 months

Text

Rating all the poses on the new hermitcraft banner

Bdoubleo100: 6/10 pretty average, covered up by the person on the end but he's just reaching his arm out. Not too special but decent.

Xizuma: 8/10 "yippee" energy but not 😁 yippee, more chill than that, basically he just looks like he's cheering for something. I like it.

xBCrafted: 7/10 only criticism is why are him and Doc holding that thing like that? It makes it very hard for xb to use his other hand.

DocM77: 7/10 pretty much the same as xb, still a bit selfish of him to be trapping xbs arm like that.

Welsknight: 8/10 looks like he's dancing but very chill. We can't all be busting out the big guns and grooving the night away. Nice work.

TangoTek: 7/10 I like it, he looks happy and eager, however thats also the exact pose people made when I was in school and people were trying to fight each other. I do not think tango is trying to fight anyone.

VintageBeef: 9/10 looks like he's trying to dance. I like it. Keep it up, beef ✌️🙂

StressMonster: 7/10 looks a bit like she's running away from beef, or really badly trying to kick scar. Why are you doing that, stress? I want to see where you're going with this.

Goodtimeswithscar: 6/10 he's just chillin'. Looks confident though, can't say I disagree, though the angle of his head and his eyes make things a tad bit confusing

Rendog: 9/10, I love it, he's so groovy, plus he's got that slutty slutty neckline. Another day another slay

Pearlescentmoon: 9/10 similar dancing to beef except I think she's pointing at something and I'm curious as to what

Mumbo Jumbo: 8/10 what's behind your back, mumbo killsalot jumbo? I distrust him...

Keralis: 7/10 unsure if it's just his face but his arms being up and him leaning back makes him look a bit scared. Someone help this man to overcome his fears

Joe Hills: 9.5/10 he looks very groovy indeed, but what's that he's doing with his hand? Hmmm....

Zedaph: 4/10 don't be selfish. Tut tut tut zedaph

Zombiecleo: 9.5/10 and that's what Joe's doing with his hand! Love the high five, woohoo

Jevin: 7/10 good job, but maybe try a bit harder not to abuse Grian perhaps

Grian: 6/10 clearly trying to escape jevin, however, kee out of poor ethos personal space. Keep to your own bubble. Shame on you Grian.

Ethoslab: 1/10. Why's he throwing it back... ☹️

Hypnotized: 9/10 some real teehee energy with this one. I appreciate that. Keep up the energy

ImpulseSV: 9/10 biggest yippee energy so far. Either that or he really wants to ask a question

Cubfan: 9/10 I can imagine him saying eureka. That's a type of can or something

Falsesymmetry: 7/10 also big yippee energy, but maybe slightly less than Impulse. Love it still

Iskall: 7/10 I can't tell if he's using that hand to shout, or whisper something to false, but either way I want to know what he's saying

Geminitay: 6/10 pretty much the same as bdubs. Very covered by mystery person two electric boogaloo, but simple can be good

TFC: 10/10 best for last is TFC chilling behind the F o7

1K notes · View notes

laddertek · 6 months

Text

Tang Tang...Little Tangy ft. Scar, Cub, Etho, Jevin, and Tango

Scar: I once thought Tang Tang said that that door in the kneeling room was broken. Did he fix that? Maybe I might be imagining things. Cub: Tang Tang. That's what we're calling him now? All right. Scar: Ha, Tang Tang? I don't know. This is my delirious thoughts right now just calling him Tang Tang. Etho: Tang Tang ^^ I could get used to that. Jev: Poor little Tang Tang. Tango: That is not Dungeon Master approved. (all laugh) Scar: And the man arrives! [...] Etho: We could call him Little Tangy. (scar and etho laugh) Scar: You're gonna get one less shard, Etho. Etho: (laughs) Regardless. Tango: It's gonna be eight less.

(tonight's jevin stream)

#decked out 2 #hermitcraft #tangotek #tango tek #etho #ethoslab #goodtimeswithscar #cubfan135 #cubfan #ijevin #tangtho #hermitshipping

2K notes · View notes

seven-homosexual-dinosaurs · 2 years

Text

People who are having A Time in the Empirescraft crossover:

-Sausage (coming face to face with saint pearl- nope, wait, she just looks like her… Right?)

-HC!False (Bunch of random strangers claiming to know her and acting confused when she doesn’t recognize them)

-Jevin (Keralis and Sausage seem to be too much for this poor guy. Live slime reaction)

-Jimmy (Grian)

-Impulse + Pearl (Impulse immediately encountering bipedal frogs and foxes. Pearl encountering a strange man who seems to think she’s God. Outfit change and loss of beard. Gem is here, but she doesn’t recognize them?)

People who are thriving in the Empirescraft crossover:

-Tango (Jimmy. Goblands. Snort. Big hat)

- E!False (gone on an adventure. Good for her)

-Joel (people calling him tall and helping him bully Jimmy)

-Keralis (I do not know what he’s doing with Sausage and at this point I’m not sure I want to)

-Grian (Stealing. Bullying Tim. Causing problems on purpose. Never taking responsibility for anything in his life)

-Scar (Good Times)

3K notes · View notes

redstonedust · 1 year

Text

the mcytblrsexyman brackets are so good and im so excited but im also losing my mind at the fact every hermit is there, including evil x, helsknight and grumbot... but no jevin. jevin confirmed least sexy hermit by default. there are more grumbotfuckers than jevinfuckers tfc is more of a sexyman than the guy that looks like sans. poor guy.

451 notes · View notes

hmshermitcraft · 2 days

Note

Hypno and XB flirt so much it makes their poor friend Jevin bash himself into a wall.

Like, he gets that they are in love and he’s happy for them but *Sacred Void* get a ROOM, you two!

The three of them often hang out, so Jevin gets exposed to the worst of it. The other hermits never believe him, but that's because they don't deal with the pair at their worst! They're non-stop!

What's even more annoying is they've both gotten better at PvP and minigames because they're trying to show off to each other. At least if it distracted them, Jevin wouldn't be so upset...

#hermitshipping #ask #jevin tag #hypno tag #xb tag #hypxb #mod 🎀

31 notes · View notes

mysticwinterkit · 5 months

Text

I love that the hermits are still playing Decked Out. In fact, they're playing more than ever, because now they're not limited in runs. Jevin played all night, and Cub played all day. I don't think the dungeon has stopped since the competition ended.

Poor Tango thought he was going to get a break.

#hermitcraft #decked out 2

47 notes · View notes

codgod · 10 months

Text

hi and welcome to a brief explanation of my slime hybrid headcanons that absolutely nobody asked for [featuring charlie, mike, and jevin for examples]

[under the cut because it is very long and also includes pictures lol]

all slime hybrids have poor eyesight! this is because slimes evolved to live and thrive in caves and since it’s so dark they don’t really need their eyes anyway, so sight has gradually gotten worse over time. think like olms/cave salamanders. they use their other sense to get around without glasses

they can change the colour/texture/shape of any part of themselves at will as long as it’s something they’ve encountered before. so they could give their skin the look/feel of metal [though it’s not as strong as actual metal] if they wanted

[or, yk, they can use it to look like their partners ex for some passive aggressive torture]

some use that ^ to make it look like they have bones, since slimes don’t actually need bones to maintain their shape. this is usually done by hybrids that prefer to still look like slimes [like jevin] rather than ones that prefer to look more human-ish [like charlie or mike] for the aesthetic of it all, since they’re transparent. they do also sometimes just claim random dead bodies as their own, but that’s not common practice or technically considered ethical [plus actual bones dissolve over time]

[jaw may or may not move how it’s supposed to lol]

on that note, slime hybrids don’t have to use their mouths to eat. they can just shove whatever they want to absorb into wherever they want on their bodies and it works fine. any that spend a lot of time around humans/non-slimes do use their mouths though, it’s only polite. also, does not have to be actual food, just something they can get energy or extra mass from [like when qslime spent all that time living on rotten flesh]

since they can shapeshift, slimes tend to have at least one “default” form that’s most comfortable for them to take/requires the least amount of energy to maintain. for some this is just a blob, but for others this could be more human-shaped, or even an animal. for example, charlie’s is humanoid but with some slime features showing through like patches of green skin/hair

[small changes like hair length, height, chest size, etc. or basically anything that doesn’t entirely change their look/take too much extra energy is still considered their “default” form. since my gegg design includes changed skin colour, hairstyle, glasses/eyes, whatever else, it’s a seperate form even if he’s still at least kinda recognisable as charlie]

when tired/emotional they tend to lose shape or become more slime-like if they’re usually more human-looking, like melting or changing back to their natural colour

they don’t have a rigid concept of a gender binary, so they’re generally fine with whatever people want to see them as. when communicating between each other slimes just use names, but some that live around humans might pick pronouns for themselves. they just as often don’t, though

okay this one’s a little silly but i think different colours have different flavours if you lick them. green is lime, blue is blue raspberry, pink is strawberry, yellow is piss lemon, etc.

also silly but they either hate being squished and stretched like actual slime or LOVE it it’s like stimming for them. put charlie in an industrial mixer with some biodegradable glitter he’s having the time of his life

#.txt #.jpg #girl idk how to tag this #slime headcanons

83 notes · View notes

sexyinaratkindaway · 6 months

Text

Day 26: Slime Kink

Pairing: Wels/Jevin

It’s a bit of a silly hobby, Jevin can admit.

But he lets it slide because Wels is hot, and it’s hotter still to watch him in the laborious process of putting his armour on. It’s hot. He’s hot.

Jevin is staring at him, hidden in the cracks and fissure points of his house, lulled by the soft clinking of mail on metal on leather on cotton. What is Wels gearing up to fight, he wonders? Monsters? Zombies, skeletons, creepers looking to catch him at his weakest, his most vulnerable? The Dragon herself, perhaps?

It’s a silly thought. Jevin knows what Wels is gearing up to fight, and there is no metal that will keep him safe. He waits for the tell-tale click of the last clasp buckling closed, and then he starts seeping out of his cranny, asp-silent. Wels doesn’t hear him, or maybe he only pretends not to.

Certainly, the little hitching gasp he gives when he feels Jevin’s now-slightly-solid form loom behind him is real.

“Jevin,” he mutters. There’s a smile in his words, Jevin can hear. Stay in character, man! “Jev, what are you–”

“What a valiant knight,” Jevin hums, and tries to ignore Wels’ snickering, “but your pretty, shiny armour won’t protect you.”

Immediately he starts pressing through the junctures of the metal, to leak past the mail and soak into his underclothes. His hand materialises under the cotton of his sleeve, cool and slightly tacky against Wels’ warm, warm wrist; he taps his fingers against his pulse point once, twice, latches his lips around a soft spot on Wels’ nape to lay kiss after kiss on warm, sweaty skin. Jevin presses himself closer to Wels’ back until they’re flush together, and now he can seep everywhere. Surely Wels’ under armour clothes will be a sodden, unusable mess after they’re done, and neither of them can find himself minding, because Jevin’s hand—which one?—is sliding in his pants and underwear, to envelop his cock in what feels like too much slime to only be a hand. More and more slides its way under Wels clothes, leaves a tingling way up and down his chest just to wrap around his nipples and swash like waves, just hard enough to feel like a slight lapping. Wels is twitching under his hold, his resistance barely palliative. He’s gasping low, murmured pleasure under his breath.

“Jev,” he gasps when his slime tightens and tingles around a nipple, like pinching, “Jev, Jevin, ah–”

“Feels good?”

“Don’t tease, man.”

More slime seeps under Wels’ pants in long shapes, like fingers or tentacles, curls around the swell of his balls to dip between his thighs and swipe slickly at his twitching hole. Wels hums out a pleased noise, low and drawn out, when the first half inch slips in.

“Gods above,” Wels murmurs, head thrown back. His cheeks are ruddy and lovely, face veiled in a sheen of sweat. He’s probably so hot under his armour. “Jevin, the tingling.”

Jevin doesn’t do the tingling on purpose, but the way Wels arches and shivers and moans under his touch makes him wish he tingled more. He just tightens his hold around Wels’ cock and starts on a tugging, up-and-down motion that makes him gasp and buck his hips, an easy distraction while Jevin fucks more and more of himself inside Wels in short, slow, regular thrusts. He’s losing control over his own form, he knows: growing thin and watery and more with arousal, the thrill of the hunt.

Slimes don’t have sex; they do, however, feed by wrapping themself around prey and filling every crevice with themself until what they’re holding is a popped balloon of blood and minerals to sap. Jevin’s body doesn’t really know the difference, but he has a hold on himself well enough, and the panicked little high pitched moan Wels gives when his tendrils grow bigger inside him is a great incentive to keep this thing going, even if it means lifting Wels off the ground to get more leverage to fuck into him.

The poor man is a writhing mess, hands reaching down to hold onto Jevin’s hoodie because there isn’t much else he can hold on to in the throes of his ecstasy. He’s gasping, babbling pretty noises that barely count as words anymore, and Jevin feels very satisfied. He’s so deep inside him now, if he were any less rational a person he’d imagine it’s soon going to start oozing out of his mouth, slack in a pretty ‘o’.

“C’min,” Wels slurs out, fingers twitching in the cotton. “‘M comin’, Jev, Jev–”

Jev fucks him harder, faster. Lets himself flow in and out of Wels’ warm, pulsing hole like water made solid, tugs on his cock like a willing throat milking him dry, and when musky pleasure starts mixing with his essence he can’t even be pissed. He just fucks Wels through it, through it, through it, through it, until his whining has turned high-pitched and overstimulated, a slow litany of “thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Jevin puts him down, slowly retracts himself from around him, and together they start working his armour off.

Wels’ fingers are trembling.

#knight's notebook #kinktober #hermitnsfw #ijevin #welsknight

31 notes · View notes

fryingpan1234567 · 1 year

Text

PART 1- Hermitcraft/ DSMP/ Life Series crossover AU

as excited as I am to write this, I’m a little terrified XD. some of it isn’t very good, but I hope you at least enjoy the character dynamics! there are SO MANY CHARACTERS- there has to be a p2 TvT

for @barley-hopkins

happy reading! ~ It’s been six months since a green portal opened up in the sky of Hermitcraft and dumped the entire Dream SMP into their world.

At first, things were hectic. Thankfully, Dream didn’t have any weapons… unfortunately, neither did anyone else. The Hermits, well along in their builds and season, weren’t quite sure what to do with a bunch of warcrime-committing psychopaths.

X and Tango’s rushed solution? Babysitting.

Every Hermit was assigned an SMP member or two, and they were allowed to do whatever necessary to keep them in check. They were only allowed to get materials if their Hermit allowed them, for the sake of everyone’s safety, until they could figure out how to get everyone back where they belonged- because sadly, as soon as the last SMP member hit the ground, the portal disappeared.

Some of the SMP/ Hermit pairings looked weird, but they really all made sense. Maybe it was rushed, but X wasn’t stupid. Really there were only a couple questionable ones.

It wasn’t like they were all complete strangers. MCC was obviously a thing, Puffy and Zed are siblings, Jevin and Charlie as well, Doc and Sam are cousins.

Still. There were struggles.

“Tommy, toss me that-?”

Mumbo was clocked in the head by a flying comparator, luckily not falling off his scaffolding. He did not catch the block.

Tommy, from the ground, was laughing. Hard. He hadn’t exactly meant to hit his mentor… but he wasn’t complaining about it either.

“Thomas,” Mumbo huffed, rubbing his head. “Thank you for guessing, very good job, but hand it to me this time, please.”

Tommy, still giggling, got up from where he was sitting on a chest and went to retrieve the dropped block.

Of all the groups, Tommy and Mumbo had taken some of the longest to warm up to each other at first. Well, at least Mumbo did- Tommy still saw him as an older brother from the one time they met, but Mumbo wasn’t exactly sure what to do with a raccoon gremlin child who was also a traumatized war veteran and has died several times.

Still, Mumbo warmed up to him. He could tell that for the most part Tommy meant well, and he was even able to coach some of the swearing and arsonist tendencies out of him.

It was also a plus that, because Philza was the only one the Hermits trusted, he flew around the server to check up on people and give advice to their poor Hermits. Tommy loved Phil (Phil was his dad, after all), and Phil was able to show Mumbo what not to do to trigger Tommy’s PTSD too badly.

Mumbo was still pretty much useless with panic attacks, but he’s at least good at distracting him. Plus he was very pleased to admit Tommy’s stressful/ depressed days were much fewer and farther between than the beginning of their interactions. Mumbo hoped he was contributing to that, but it might have just been the safe and (relatively) calm vibe of Hermitcraft.

He did not, however, trust Tommy enough to let him gather much more than iron armor and the blocks he wanted for his house, which Mumbo had to approve first. Maybe he was starting to like him, but that didn’t mean he was willing to get his head lopped off on accident.

Tommy retrieved the comparator and climbed up the scaffolding beside Mumbo. “Whatcha workin on, Big Man?” he asked, blue eyes wide and curious. Despite Mumbo’s best attempts, Tommy still couldn’t do redstone for shit.

Mumbo grinned, snapping the block into place. “A prank for our friend Grian.”

“Ohh, that’s why we’re over at his place,” Tommy said, sitting down on the scaffolding. Mumbo noticed out of the corner of his eye that the kid had chosen to sit worryingly close to the edge, but he tried to dismiss it.

“Mhmmm,” he hummed absently. There was a moment of silence as Tommy watched him work, but his nerves got the better of him. “You might want to step away from that edge, yeah?” he tried. It was windy and he’d hate for something to happen- no SMP members but Phil were allowed elytras.

Tommy’s bright smile faded, and his eyes dimmed. He glanced down at the ground, far below, fingers tapping methodically right on the border.

He shrugged. “I’m fine. I like high-up places.”

Mumbo sighed, setting down his materials and joining Tommy on the floor. He looked nervous, like he was afraid Mumbo might be mad or even attack him.

Phil had told him about this. More times than anyone would like, Tommy had spoken aloud about or even attempted to end himself on the SMP. Mumbo had hoped that hadn’t carried through to Hermitcraft, but he unfortunately had been proven wrong very quickly.

“Tommy,” he said, trying to make his voice sound as calm as possible. “Come sit in front of me. Away from the edge.”

Tommy hesitated, but scooted over to sit cross-legged in front of Mumbo, mirroring him. He pulled his hands into the sleeves of his blue sweater nervously.

Mumbo smiled, recalling what Phil had told him to do at times like these. “Can you tell me about the SMP?”

Tommy’s face darkened considerably, and he twitched as if remembering being shot in the chest from the revolution. Or maybe he was recalling trying to save Tubbo from Dream. Maybe even imagining the last time he’d died, in that cell…

“Tommy,” Mumbo whispered, poking him in the knee. “I only want the good stuff. Singing with Wil and the other L’manburgians outside the van. Training with Techno and taking naps on Steve. Exploring with Tubbo. Tell me what you love about your home.”

Tommy came back to reality, remembering where he was, that he was safe. He smiled at the memories, although he wasn’t sure how Mumbo knew all that.

The two of them ended up sitting on that scaffolding for hours, exchanging stories. Their prank was ruined when Grian and Wilbur discovered the half-finished trap and its culprits, but none of them really minded.

All Mumbo cared about was making sure Tommy knew he was safe. Killing for objects and possessions was a thing he’d never have to do again; he’d make sure of it.

~ If anyone could keep Dream himself out of trouble, it was his rival admin.

Yeah, X took Dream. It wasn’t like he wanted to, it’s more like he didn’t want to hand that responsibility to anyone else.

For a while, they barely spoke to each other. Dream had to follow X around the whole time, but X was too nervous to do anything important, so… they were kind of stuck.

But X, being that ever-polite man he is, offered to help Dream build his first house. They couldn’t fly anywhere and they obviously couldn’t be separated, so that meant walking everywhere.

That also meant becoming the strangest pair of friends in… well, probably ever.

That, however, did not come easy.

“Dream!” How X managed to lose the most dangerous man on the server was beyond him, and while he trusted Dream at least a little by this point… he had to admit he was a little bit nervous.

Right as he ducked under a tree to check the forest, someone dropped right on top of him, flattening him to the ground.

Dream’s playful laugh filled the clearing.

“Dream-“ X wheezed, managing to roll over even with the other admin on his chest and pushing uselessly at his legs. “Off. You scared me!”

“I thought you were a better babysitter than this, Zuma,” Dream teased, standing and offering X a hand. He hauled him to his feet, only just managing to contain his laughter.

X dusted himself off with a huff. “I thought I didn’t need to anymore,” he grumbled. “It’s time for lunch.”

“Oooo, sweet!” Dream skipped off towards his little cave/ hut that he and X had spent days perfecting. It was half in-half out of the water, and full of green froglights. Dream was very proud of it.

Xisuma went after his friend with an affectionate sigh. Since the landing, it was a tradition between the two of them (at first forced upon Dream by X, but now it’s more enjoyable) that they’d have lunch every day together- food they prepared together, tea, and meditation. Sometimes other groups joined them.

It was to teach Dream to use his hands and mind for something that wasn’t malicious, although X didn’t tell him that.

Dream was already rummaging through his and X’s joint kitchen by the time he got there, sporting a neon green apron with flower patterns on it.

“Whaddaya think, X?” Dream said cheerfully as X removed his gloves to wash his hands. “I personally am leaning towards mac and cheese, but maybe you’re willing to put forth more effort than that.”

X shrugged. “Sure. I’ll start on the tea. Dandelion again?”

“You know it.”

The one thing Xisuma and Dream could successfully collaborate on is food. Building together was decent enough and caving is always an absolute disaster, but cooking they can both do easy- especially when they’re working together.

“So,” X hummed as they sat down at their coffee table, cross-legged on a couple of pillows on the floor. “Topic for today: what was the number one thing you hated about the SMP, so we can never do that here. Not a person. A habit you all had.”

Dream paused shoveling food into his mouth to think. If people were ruled out…

“Maybe…” He trailed off, trying to think of how to phrase it. X sipped his tea patiently- sometimes it took a moment to answer. “We fought. All the time. Which is fine, it was fun sometimes, but… it was usually over possessions. Land, and… discs.” Even after all this time, Dream still got twitchy when talking about Tommy’s discs. “I just don’t want to do that anymore, I guess. I lose people over it, and that’s more important,” he finished.

Xisuma thought on his words for a moment, methodically stirring his macaroni. “Do you think it matters less here?” he asked.

Dream nodded aggressively, nearly dropping his mug.

“Good.” X smiled genuinely, and Dream grinned back. “Don’t worry, friend. You’ll never have to fight over something as dumb as one item ever again.”

~ Maybe putting nine people, three poly relationships, in one place was a terrible idea. It was like the weirdest triple date in history… especially because they weren’t doing normal ‘date’ things.

They were pranking Docm77 and Technoblade.

”How are the creepers coming along?” Tango whispered into his communicator, where the rest of the group was on call. He and his SMPers, Sapnap and Sam, were crouched on a ridge near Doc’s base, keeping watch.

From one of the other ends, Impulse replied. “Karl’s almost blown himself up ten times, but Ponk is actually doing decent.”

“I’m doing more than decent, thank you!” Ponk suddenly interjected. Somewhere in the background, an explosion and high-pitched scream went off, followed by Impulse’s familiar laughter. “Karl!”

“Don’t kill my boyfriend,” Quackity added, joining the call.

“Nobody’s boyfriends are being killed,” Zed assured. “Q and Foolish and I just finished the gift box. Any sign of them?”

Sam checked his spyglass again. “Doc and Techno are farming tridents, it looks like. I’m a little scared.”

“I’m also scared. We’re pranking the man who has the dragon on a leash right now,” Sapnap whispered harshly.

Tango grinned. “Part of the fun. Might steal her later, too.”

“Bad plan,” Impulse and Zed deadpanned simultaneously. The three of them descended into some sort of argument about good plans, the other six forced to listen.

A gift box, with a bow and everything, filled with creepers. Not terribly original, but still hilarious, in Tango’s opinion.

It was a plus because, since team ZIT all had to take two people, they had each other to help manage them all for a few hours. And the other people dating each other got to hang out, which was more than Puffy and Niki could say for themselves recently.

When do you think they’ll be done? Sapnap and Karl’s communicators went off from a message from Big Q.

Sap covertly glanced at Tango, who was furiously whispering at his boyfriends that he makes the best plans. I’d say a while. Think we’ll get busted?

Techno would totally kill us for this, right? Karl asked. He was conveniently hiding in a tree from the six creepers aggro’ed on him, Ponk laughing at him from below and not helping in the slightest. Impulse was too busy laughing at his partners’ bickering to pay much attention.

Quackity grinned and waved at the tree he knew Sapnap was perched in from his place on top of the fake present. Zed was also whisper-shouting into his communicator, but Foolish was messaging on his as well with a dopey smile.

They argue worse than us, he messaged Sam and Ponk.

It’s cute. I think they’ll get married one day, Sam immediately replied. I’m so bored. Maybe we can convince them to do a sleepover tonight.

Will they say yes if I let Karl get decimated by these ten creepers? Ponk messaged. Sam and Foolish both giggled at that one.

Hopefully.

Maybe it’ll be a plus.

Unbeknownst to them all, Techno and Doc were well aware of their presence and plan. Gathering tridents was simply a cover-up for their own plan- and it seemed to be working.

“Are they still up in that damn tree?” Doc mused, hacking down a drowned.

Techno stabbed another with the (technically forbidden) borrowed sword Doc let him use. “Yeah, I can hear them arguing from here. What exactly are they trying to accomplish?”

Doc pointed at the present, which was barely visible from where they were, the three standing on top of it, and three more just emerging from the forest with an army of creepers.

Techno snorted, tossing a damaged trident back into the ocean to despawn. “Idiots. That’s a bad trap.”

“Bad stealth mission,” Doc agreed.

The two of them had gotten along pretty well from the beginning, pretty much unsurprisingly. Techno had taken an interest to the way Doc viewed laws of physics more as suggestions, and Doc was thrilled to be working with an actual PVP and war god.

Doc had listened to Techno’s stories about the SMP- apparently, disappearing into the mountains with your dogs and polar bears and father is an invitation to fuck with you. Thankfully, Techno just seemed to want away from all that- not to even the score. That made him easy to trust.

Doc let Techno do whatever he wanted with the promise that if he did anything wrong, he’d be tossed into whatever prison Doc could come up with- and that wasn’t an inviting concept.

“They’re moving, they’re moving!” Techno whispered excitedly. The three that had been spying on them through the trees took off towards the present, where the other six had gathered with all the creepers evidently inside.

He and Doc snuck around to a blindside. None of them noticed.

Techno lit a piece of TNT while Doc cut a hole in the wall. They tossed it in and ran- five seconds later, nine death messages filled the chat, followed by Hermits and others asking what happened in a panic.

The culprits, well, they were congratulating themselves on a foiled plan and extra kill points. They promptly went off to find a polar bear that could be Steve 2, unconcerned with the crater and half blown-up present box on their property.

Tango, Sapnap, and Sam had ended back at their base, thankfully. Zed, Quackity, and Foolish spawned where Zed’s last challenge had been, and Impulse and Ponk and Karl had been the unluckiest- a respawn anchor on the Nether roof.

They were all furiously messaging each other, asking who had set off the TNT… and the rest of the server had some pretty good entertainment by that for the rest of the night.

~ When Etho found Ranboo, he was sitting on the ground, playing with a sand miniblock and talking to his “chat”. Etho still wasn’t really sure what that was, but Ranboo assured him it was harmless.

So was the kid, honestly. Etho had chosen him because he could tell they gave off similar vibes- quiet, funky hair, doesn’t love people all that much aside from one sunshiny short brunet.

He’d been right, of course. Ranboo was chill, although those purple particles floating around and talking to him all the time were admittedly a bit nerve-wracking.

“Hey, Boo Boy,” Etho hummed, leaning against the doorframe.

Ranboo sat right in the middle of the glass atop the moss farm, his usual cloud of particles buzzing about the room. Maybe Etho was crazy, but he thought the nearest one to him was screaming something like “LORE??” in a tiny, high-pitched voice.

Ranboo didn’t exactly… have a mouth, but his eyes scrunched as if he were smiling. “Hey, Etho!”

“Hi.” Etho couldn’t stop his own smile from spreading beneath his mask. “Bdubs and Purpled wanna go caving. How does that sound?”

“Sure!” Ranboo popped up, scattering a cloud of particles that almost sounded like they were laughing.

There weren’t many people on the- well, honestly either- server that were taller than Etho. X, Doc, and Technoblade. And Ranboo. Which was baffling although not surprising (he is half Enderman after all), if only for the fact that he’s a kid. 18. Literally what. Kids shouldn’t be allowed to be taller than immortal people.

But that’s okay. Etho builds his doorways tall anyways, but Bdubs’ section of the house was a bit more challenging.

“ETHOOO! SAVE ME FROM THE CHILD!”

Speak of the devil, a familiar voice came screeching down the stairwell and someone rammed into Etho’s back. He knew who it was without having to turn around, although he wasn’t sure how concerned he should be. Bdubs once hid behind Etho for four hours because his SMP member, Purpled, had parked his alien spaceship over the Monolith and Bdubs didn’t want to be abducted. He’d once hid for five after Purpled put a purple bed in an otherwise all-pink room. Etho wasn’t sure where on the threat scale they were at today.

“YOU CAN’T ESCAPE ME, MOSSY BOY! I’VE GOT SHEARS AND I WILL STEAL YOUR TINY MYSTERY FLOWERS IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!”

“Help,” Bdubs begged, hugging Etho around the waist. Ah yes, Glare blooms. Apparently, Purpled needed to steal them.

Ranboo peeked over curiously, although he was mostly occupied with his chat, which had turned rainbow colors- he’d explained to Etho that those were ‘emotes’.

The alien himself nearly fell down the stairs after Bdubs in his haste, nearly running straight into Etho shears-first. Etho caught him.

“Hey, Purpled.” he raised an eyebrow as Purpled hid the shears behind his back and grinned nervously. “Tormenting a Hermit? Do we need to get X?”

Purpled’s smile dropped. “No,” he huffed. Etho held out his hand, and he dropped the shears there in defeat.

“I told you, I’m a Glare!” Bdubs said indignantly, still buried in Etho’s side. “They’re just flowers! And they hurt if you cut them off improperly, so why don’t you-“

“You’re a Glare? Like a Moonbloom?” Ranboo interjected as Purpled and Bdubs stuck their tongues out at each other. “My husband is a Moonbloom!”

“Very nice, Ranboo,” Etho sighed, tucking the shears into his inventory.

So Bdubs and Purpled hadn’t quite figured out how to get along all that great. Not every pair could be as perfect as Etho and Ranboo, but they did have their moments. Whenever Purpled got itchy about building for too long because that’s all he did working at Las Nevadas, Bdubs was always happy to take him somewhere else to destress. In return, Purpled was sometimes less stubborn about bedtimes. Sometimes.

And then there was Etho and Ranboo, who worked in a way that didn’t need revision. Ranboo was happy to lay around and watch Etho work, asking the occasional question, and Etho sometimes took him to hang out with Tubbo and Scar- he really liked Jellie. When Ranboo had panic attacks or dissociated, Etho was surprisingly good at just… sitting with him and letting the kid exist in such a concrete presence. It’s proven to work pretty well.

All in all, though, Hermits on their own are terrible for caving. SMP members made things so much more… interesting.

“We’d better get going,” Etho sighed. “Ranboo, grab the torches on your right, yeah?”

“Okay!” he chirped, opening the chest and leaning in.

Bdubs unstuck himself from Etho’s side, but didn’t let go of his hand.

“Thanks for the help, sweetheart,” he grinned, leaning in. “You’re my hero.”

Etho huffed out a laugh, securing his mask so Bdubs wouldn’t get any ideas. “There are kids in the room, sweetheart,” he teased.

“Yuck,” Purpled deadpanned to prove his point, Ranboo sidling up next to him.

Bdubs blew a raspberry at him. “I can be mushy with my boyfriend! Leave us alone!”

“They can’t do that, love,” Etho whispered. “We’re stuck together, remember?”

Bdubs pouted. “Boring. Maybe after they go to bed.”

“You literally go to bed before any of us.”

“Whose side are you on?”

~ Aside from Phil, there was one other person the Hermits nearly completely trusted: Captain Puffy.

She was allowed whatever gear she wanted, including an elytra. Between her and Phil, it was like the two parents of their server were able to help out the Hermits whenever they needed.

However, she had a murder on record. Therefore, she still needed a babysitter.

Who volunteered? Well. He’s arguably the dad of his own server, so it really made sense.

“Puffy!” Sometimes Keralis called her other names like Poof or Fluffy, affectionately of course, but today it looked like he was sticking to the real thing.

He hopped onto the mini pirate ship she’d built in the river just below his starter place, and it rocked precariously.

Puffy poked her head up from below. “Hey, Keralis! What’s up?”

Keralis clung to the mast, waiting for the ship to stop moving. “Stressy asked if you would like to see Niki and George. I need to go over there for some things anyways.”

“Sure!” Puffy never missed the opportunity to see her girlfriend. Unfortunately it didn’t happen very often- several times she’d sulked about it not being fair how her brother got both his boyfriends AND babysat people in a relationship together. Zed only laughed, which had earned him an elbow to the ribs.

So Puffy and Keralis took off towards Stress’s place. It was balanced a little precariously atop a cliffside, but it wasn’t too high up. Puffy thought it was adorable how Niki and George had built little teacup houses to match Stress’s pot.

“Stressy!” Keralis sang as soon as they touched down. Puffy let him go hang out with Stress as she went to go find her people.

George and Niki were a little deeper into the forest, patching up what looked like unfortunate creeper accidents.

Well, Niki was working. George was asleep under a mushroom, leaning against the stem with his sunglasses over his eyes.

“Morgenliebe!” Niki called as soon as she noticed Puffy. “What are you doing over here?”

“I wanted to see you,” Puffy grinned, pulling her in. Niki had to stand on her toes to peck her on the cheek.

It was mornings like these, where the people from the Dream SMP could forget about the wars and death and life system, that everyone enjoyed the most- even the Hermits, Keralis had once told her.

It had been months. It was honestly doubtful by this point that they’d get back to their own server, especially because no one was trying to get that to happen.

Death counts, killing for sport, stupid object-possessive fights- all that was in the past.

The SMPers were supposed to heal with the Hermits, make genuine friends, fix broken relationships. They’d eventually move away from the Hermits, a little south, build their own village.

But it doesn’t work like that; it never has. Good things don’t last.

Along with several Hermits, more than half the people from the SMP were once again sucked out of the life they’d become used to and dumped into a new place. This time, it wasn’t a good one.

Etho.

Tango.

Bdubs.

Dream.

Tommy.

Puffy.

Scar.

Niki.

Ren.

Cleo.

Sam.

Ponk.

Grian.

“Welcome to 3rd life: an experimental hardcore server. You have three lives. Good luck.”

64 notes · View notes

theminecraftbee · 1 year

Text

I posted 23,379 times in 2022

That's 12,272 more posts than 2021!

5,012 posts created (21%)

18,367 posts reblogged (79%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/gardenergulfie

@/harley-the-pancake

@/simplydm

@/bananasofthorns

@/starsandfluff

I tagged 20,218 of my posts in 2022

Only 14% of my posts had no tags

#from the queue - 11,399 posts

#answered - 2,886 posts

#stream liveblogging - 822 posts

#hermitcraft - 555 posts

#ask game - 354 posts

#double life spoilers - 213 posts

#hermitcraft spoilers - 196 posts

#a bee fic - 177 posts

#joe hills - 171 posts

#empires smp - 130 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i love grian’s weird contradictory ‘is immediately bound by any rules of competition and won’t break them even if they’re all in his head’

My Top Posts in 2022:

[image ID: two pictures of joe in his daughter's homemade zombiecleo costume. /end ID]

...oh my god,

4,233 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

huge fan of how they did this 1.20 update so far. the changes really do feel like “they are doing things to make minecraft more minecraft”, just adding several small things that makes everything feel nicer is exactly what i want from an update. just… small details! huge fan of that! also a big fan of them going “we are only going to show you features that are done”. it does mean we don’t actually get to know what they’re planning until it’s about to be in a snapshot, which will be an adjustment, but it’ll prevent all the nonsense that happened around 1.19, so I’m a fan. overall, like how 1.20 is looking!

4,370 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

genuinely all the pairs are insane. shoutout, for example, to tango and jimmy, the single most doomed pair of people i can possibly imagine. mr. “dies with tragic futility” and mr. “dies first despite his best efforts” are on the same team AND one of them was already blown up by a creeper. i cannot imagine a more “will die first” pairing. those poor boys i’m already planning their funeral,

5,032 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

“Alright,” Jevin says, “now you just have to give the egg basket back.”

Grian stares at him with big, black, soulful eyes, and holds the basket closer to himself. “...give... you... the eggs...?”

Jevin closes his eyes and mentally counts to five before opening them again. “Yeah. That was the point of the game, right? Collect the eggs and then give them back to prove you’d found them.”

Grian continues to stare.

“So you hand me the basket...”

“Are... are you keeping an eye on them?” Grian asks.

“Keeping an eye on the eggs.”

“Well, it’s a dangerous world out there,” Grian says. “You never know when some maniac with TNT might show up. Probably best to just keep these in my ne- base. Keep these in my base.”

“A maniac with TNT?“ says Jevin, in a tone of voice he hopes conveys exactly who the maniac with TNT normally is on the server.

“You never know,” Grian says. “You’ve seen the eggs now. You know I found them. Really, what do you need all those eggs for? Surely you won’t miss these, right?”

Jevin sighs. “Yes, but I need the eggs to prove you didn’t cheat. You can’t win unless you turn them in.”

Grian stares blankly at Jevin, big black eyes watering as he tries to decide between winning (a thing Grian is very bad at giving up on) and, presumably, some stupid bird instinct that’s refusing to let him let go of the eggs. Jevin’s not sure which one is winning. He is sure, however, that he is slightly regretting making the egg hunt actually use eggs.

Because, he thinks wryly, it’s hardly just Grian.

“Jevin,” Doc says, landing on the platform to the egg hunt central area. Grian makes a sound somewhere between a hiss and a squawk and pulls his shulker full of carefully-padded and protected eggs closer to his chest. “I have found all of my eggs.”

“Excellent! Now, if you’ll hand them over -”

Doc is holding a shulker close to his chest. “Give you my eggs? Don’t be ridiculous.”

...the worst part, Jevin thinks, as he tries to figure out how to negotiate with a bunch of hybrids who haven’t slept in too long and therefore don’t realize they’re being irrational, is that the others are almost certainly going to insist on playing again next year. Something about optimal hiding spots. Next year, though, he swears: he’s not calling them eggs.

5,705 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

general writing advice, actually: you don’t need an excuse beyond “BUT WOULDN’T THIS BE COOL” to write something into your fic. write things in solely because they make you cackle with the delight of a 12-year-old-boy playing with his dinosaur toys. it’s fun and there’s nothing stopping you or any of us at all any longer.

20,415 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #.....amazing that for some reason this tags everyone by default. fascinating #anyway looking at the other people i see this from. looking at my own numbers #is it possible. i post too much #no clearly it is the tumblr statistics that are wrong -

63 notes · View notes

time-slink · 1 year

Text

i think if poor jevin gets roped into one more gay drama he's gonna snap and become homophobic

#shush slinky #three strikes system #if i was him i would simply give the child back. AND become homophobic

60 notes · View notes

hithisisboo · 2 years

Text

I have seen Grian’s latest video. Freaking out. I’m okay.

I’ll be watching False’s video first and then I will move on to the other Empires. And to make things fun, I’ll be documenting all my thoughts. So let’s go. Spoilers obviously.

SPOILERS

Pixlriffs -

The opening sequence is masterful as always

David

I love how Pix speaks quickly when’s he’s ready to build something. Makes me feel better about when I speak quickly when I’m excited

Grian and Impulse (stream)

Joel -

The opening as always

The dancing

Lore Lore Lore Lore….

The rambling

Everyone raiding Sausage’s closets

Explaining Hermes to Scar

Andy’s Coming

Jimmy -

I have bought a Toy Sheriff. Y’all should to

Jimmy trying so hard to keep Scar concentrated on just him.

Jimmy trying so hard to convince everyone he’s not a toy

It’s chaos

TEAM RANCHER REUNION

Team Ranchers

Scar trying to convince Jimmy about Woody

I don’t see Andy

Pix

team rancher

Sausage -

Another beautiful cinematic opening

Keralis and Jevin getting all excited

Sausage keeping in character. They bounce off each other so well

Little Church. Humble brag

Explaining Thunder Daddy and Keralis and Jevin losing it.

“Takes you to the depth of a hot place” “Australia” I need more of Sausage and Keralis

The innuendos

The False confusion

PEARL

SAINT PEARL

She’s even dressed in her Empires skin

PEARLS EMPIRE!!! He went to Pearls empire!

The silence of X and Cleo when Sausage says he gave Keralis his wood

fWhip -

Casually takes fall damage

Poor Impulse with all these questions. Poor fWhip and Lizzie. Where are their travellers

A dwarf and a goblin walk into Stratos

It’s honestly so chaotic I love it

He’s so proud of his goblins

Scar and fWhip have builder chat is so nice and calm and just fun to watch

Hey Hermits!

Wonk

Tango asking if they can even call it a Nether Hub 🤣

Scott-

Very important naming Llamas. Very important.

Pearl looking oddly familiar. The Pearl lore!

“We’re not here to steal” I don’t think everyone else got them memo. Then again, it’s not stealing. It’s borrowing. And if it’s not borrowing it’s server lag

Love how Scott explains Joel and his kingdom

Shady!Scar

Pearl feeling right at home in Upper Stratos.

Scott scouting out collectable items, rarities in Hermitcraft. I wonder if the Empire crew will go to Hermitcraft

Katherine denying anything wrong with GlimmerGrove

“Act natural” Gem is a gem

Scott wanting to go explore. Please let Empires go to Hermitcraft

And thus, I have watched all available episode of Empires as of making this. I’ll be no finding all available Hermitcraft episodes, even those I don’t watch because this crossover is chaotic as heck and I need to see all angles.

#empires smp #empires smp season 2 #empires season 2 #Hermitcraft #hermitcraft x empires #team rancher #team rancher reunion #mcyt crossover

36 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

auditorylatkes-blog

Auditorylatkes

dynamixxcollection

Gimme more

the-brucest-fan

Knock, knock🥊🔥

tellytantra

TellyTantra

butneverloseyourlight