#please be kind about it
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So guys, I’m sorry, but HUGE rant incoming here - turn away now if you don’t want to hear it!
I am the biggest pusher for leaving comments on AO3. Hell, I can even break down 4 different comment types that are all perfectly acceptable for anyone feeling shy or not knowing where to start 🤷♀️ but authors, please remember:
YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO COMMENTS.
As an author, I know comments are amazing! They give you a kick, they give you fuel, they make you feel wonderful, someone has read your work and loved it!
And I love the authors: you’re giving me stories for FREE and if all it takes to to pay for this is to comment, then HELL YES! I will comment!
But you’re not entitled to my comments. You’re not entitled to anything from anyone. Respect goes both ways.
🔆
For those curious and wondering where to start, these are the four comment types I personally recommend and know that I - and my author friends - love:
Type 1: Hieroglyphics
Where the reader leaves no words, only emojis. Minimum of one (1), up to 1000.
Type 2: Basic
Short and succinct, to the point. Usually lovely, may or may not include emojis . “I loved this!”, “Wow! 🔥”, “Thank you for writing this!”
Type 3: Textbook
Where the reader leaves a three part comment that is literally perfect - compliment for the fic overall, highlight a specific bit, let the author know that you’d love to see more. “This fic is so good! I loved the bit where X fell off the couch! I haven’t stopped laughing 😂 I’d love to see more if you ever decide to revisit this ‘verse!”
Type 4: Derangement
No holds barred. Can be a wall of emojis, a step by step commentary, unintelligible flailing, overuse of the word “wow”, left in a positive manner, and quite possibly involves the theoretical throwing of Australian marsupials. It may or may not involve personal stories, tangents, shopping lists, or reminders for things that are only very distantly related to fanfiction at all.
(It should also be noted that type 4 is the type I use when my friends post work, so the ‘derangement’ descriptor is my own, and is said in good fun.)
🔆
The other side of the commenting coin is for how authors choose to respond to these comments. SO THIS IS FOR THE AUTHORS!
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REPLY TO COMMENTS!
For those who do want to respond - but maybe you’re a bit lost about what to say - keep reading!
Type one is the easiest to respond to, if you choose to respond. Leave a single emoji in reply, a 💜 or a 🌸. Get fancy with it, and leave 1 emoji for every emoji they’ve left you. Or keep it simple and just say “thanks”.
Type two is also easy to respond to. “Thanks!” or “Thanks for reading!” Chuck out an emoji if you’re feeling fancy!
Type three can be difficult. You can still easily just say “thanks”, or you can stretch it out. “Thanks for reading! I got a laugh out of writing that bit, I'm glad you enjoyed it too! Keep an eye out, I might be tempted to come back!”
Type four is usually fun, because you usually know the person who commented, so you can respond in a manner equally deranged, or you can just send them a heart or other emoji(s) of your choosing 💜.
🔆
However.. maybe there’s something else going on, or this is an old fic, or you’re taking a break from writing and you just don’t feel like commenting.
If that’s the case that’s perfectly fine - you can leave it be. Remember, you don’t have to reply. But if you choose to? Be kind. It costs nothing to be kind, and it keeps newer people in the fandom. Maybe this commenter has just found your 6-year old fic, and didn’t realise how long ago it was written.
If you do want to reply, you can say “thanks for reading! I’m actually taking a break from writing right now, and this fic is so old I'm not likely to write any more for it, but i’m glad you liked it” or “Thanks for reading!”. Hell, you can even leave a heart 💜 or a 🌸 or the old classic 😊.
Don’t forget: commenters and authors alike, we don’t know what anyone else is going through, and most people don’t have multiple platforms, so maybe the person who commented on your work doesn’t know anything about anything you haven’t posted on ao3 in author notes.
🔆
All this to say, kindness goes both ways, let’s all just have a little respect for one another and remember there are people behind the avatars who are, entirely possibly, just trying to be nice and supportive which is exactly what we want our fandom to be.
#ao3#commenting etiquette#it goes both ways#not everyone is out to get you#not everyone knows what’s going on in your life#fsbc#fsbc library#The Librarian is just trying to help#I’ve seen a heap of snarky comment replies lately and it breaks my heart that these people probably won’t comment again#comment comment comment#please always comment#please be kind about it#everyone deserves kindness
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Drunk thoughts on a Friday
The world stopped spinning one day
I heard your laugh then saw your face
There isn’t a thing left to say
When world resumed its pace
There was a jolt and then a stutter
My feet slide across the floor
Your eyes met mine and look right through me
Like I wasn’t standing there before
It had flashed so quickly
The world before my eyes
Hand in unloveable hand
Our shoulders brushing side by side
But then it all ended
When the world starts to spin
It is such a disjointed feeling
Knowing you’ll lose more then win
Our fingers dragged apart
And you never looked my way
The words burn on my tongue
Of every thought I wanted to say
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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noticed a dip in posts about palestine on my dash, so i think it deserves to be said again: palestine is not a trend. caring about genocide is not a trend. there are still reports about humanitarian aid trucks intentionally blocked off from gaza, meaning so many fucking gazans, a big portion of them children, are just bleeding out with no help. it just came out recently that israelis disguised as women and medics infiltrated a west bank hospital, at which point they killed 3 palestinians (whom they claim were militants. right). these people are living day to day without even the most basic utilities. anyone who claims to have “activism fatigue” needs to question why they’re so severely lacking in the most basic forms of compassion. you don’t get to just grow bored of talking about palestine. please never stop calling attention to the genocide happening full force in front of us.
#it’s kind of crazy that the most active blogs i see talking about it rn are literal palestinians who had to go through such insane trauma#they shouldn’t be the only ones who continue being vocal about it#bisan absolutely did not announce the global strike to signal to ppl that they can just stop saying anything afterwards??#i knew this would happen but i just didn’t expect it to happen so fast#please keep talking.#palestine#israel#gaza
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apollo’s confidence in court: oh my god i’m the worst lawyer ever my client is going to go to JAIL because i can’t even do my JOB
apollo’s confidence outside of court: i’m the only smart one here, i’m the most normal guy in the world and NO ONE is doing it like i am, investigations are EASY, klavier gavin wants me carnally
#ace attorney#apollo justice#klavier gavin#klapollo#ace attorney incorrect quotes#the last one isn’t even his confidence tbh it’s just a fact#he says it like he doesn’t ALSO want klavier gavin carnally though which he does#alternatively:#apollo at klavier in court: *sweats* he’s so hot and competent#apollo at klavier outside of court: um…hello….you are kind of really nice🥺👉👈#disgusting#im obsessed with them#preordered the new trilogy of three games i already own today😌#$60 of my very hard earned money right into that#and i cant even regret it im SO excited#all the extrassssss#PLEASE go look at the aa twitter account to see the art extras btw#they’re SO fun#apollo justice trilogy really being about 75% of my will to live rn
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Please hold transgender women dear in your heart this international women’s day. Love and respect the trans women around you please.
#Please give a transgender woman 2000 dollars this international women’s day.#all jokes aside please be kind and loving to trans women we don’t get a lot of it. look out for your trans women friends and be smart about#how you treat them <:^) Do more than just shit on the ceo or whatever. uplift and love trans women
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LET THE BOY HAVE AN EDUCATION
officially at the point where we're starting to see where it's all headed and I am just going NYEEHEEHEE in delight at it all. ahhh...next week can't come soon enough...
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#leona: (devises an actually somewhat clever plan to take out the staff-puppets without breaking any rules)#leona: (taken out two seconds later because he sat down in the wrong place)#at this point i'm half expecting the ssr boys to actually bust in with a big sandwich platter or something#a cake with 'please don't kidnap people :)' written on it in shaky icing#kalim isn't good at plans but he DOES throw a good shindig and by god he's going to play to his strengths#also IT WASN'T SHINY TICKETS IT WAS GIDEL?!#MY BOY#MY BEAUTIFUL MAGICAL FELINE BOY#i mean i'm assuming at this point but that seems to be the implication#genuinely kind of shocked that they actually WERE being magicked into being extra gullible#it was ✨foreshadowing✨ all along...#the blot though! what about the blot!#is that going to be an issue or are we going to have enough to deal with already!#i have rocketed from 'i find these villains entertaining' to 'i am suddenly incredibly invested in them as characters'#LOOK there is one thing better than characters with sort of unhealthy codependent relationships#and that is characters with sort of unhealthy codependent relationships but TWIST IT'S NOT THE WAY YOU THINK#nyeeheeheeeeeee
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society is spiraling and culture is a wasteland. i know this because i looked and most people prefer things that are fun and easy, making fun and easy things extremely popular. this is the first time that's ever happened, historically.
#original#why is every post about books and movies and music and food like this#also the posts are always about tiktok like it's a mystery why the most popular app's most popular posts are about popular interests#please learn to accept when you are simply out of step with popular culture which i know you are because you are on tumblr#i know everyone hated hipsters and their interests being more obscure than yours but at least they recognized that they were the outliers#'hipsters suck because they think their taste is sooo much better than everyone else smh'#'my tastes are extremely normal which is why i can say definitively that popular things must be popular due to a conspiracy of some kind'
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!)
To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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i know not many people would want to read a 10,000 word article about the minecraft end poem and how the author, Julian Gough, was never fairly compensated for his work and has made it public domain.
But it's a very well-written and heartfelt read, and he makes it very clear that none of this is a cash-grab and despite the fact that he is essentially a starving artist in this capitalist society, he only mentions his financial struggles despite Minecraft's huge huge success at the bottom of this article and not in the tweets so as to not dilute his message.
Anyway, I just think it'd be cool if those who are able to could support him in some way whether it be subscribing to his substack or donating to his paypal (that's linked in the article, you can ctrl + F to find it easier), that's all.
#Edit: Please look at the article for his paypal and his substack!! most ppl are reblogging a version where i didnt mention it oh gosh#im not really. the kind of person to make posts like this and i dont have the spoons to make it look nice.#my tumblrs not that visible anyway so i guess it doesnt actually matter#i just think that understandably not many ppl would read through the entire article and it makes me so sad that even in the article#he talks about how badly he just wants to make art and not play the capitalism game and still he doesnt talk about needing support#on the platforms where it'd be most visible bc he doesnt WANT to play the capitalism game even if society dicates it and its meant to#be an act of LOVE and just. yeah.#minecraft#minecraft end poem#mineblr
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Fluffy rearing
#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls poppy#trolls branch#broppy#trolls fanart#why are they rearing moths?#really wanted to put them in fuzzy outfits and couldnt help but think about fluffy moths#for poppy of course the rosy maple moth#for Branch the inspo was based off of the polyphemus moth but did my own spin on the design (haha at this point it's an entirely new kind)#just with the same size and caterpillar form#i took some liberties with both moth desgins tbh though haha#it was fun to design them#was very delighted to find out how the poly is one of the biggest while the rosy is the smallest (silk moth wise)#moths#please let me know if this needs any tw/cw for bugs#Im really sorry for such a long wait#it has been a very long week…#my art <3#excuse the messiness
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I know some dickheads have now decided that Judaism is the "bad, violent, terrorist religion" and Islam is the "good, peaceful" one, which is only to be expected of white people, but how much of an issue is it currently? Like I've seen some USAmericans sharing how the Islamic faith shapes Gazans values and perseverance (good) except with that distinct white hippie "I'm about to imprint on this like the world's most racist duck" vibe (bad), but I didn't think they're already turning on Judaism in numbers.
Do they realize that Christianity is also the same kind of comfort to Christian minorities in Asia and Africa? That it was Buddhists that genocided the Rohingyas in Myanmar and Tamils in Sri Lanka? That Hindu fundamentalists are even now trying to ethnically cleanse Muslims in India? How Hindus and Christians are terrorized and persecuted in Pakistan? That Muslims have a history of persecuting and ethnically cleansing Jews too?
Really tired of asking y'all to be normal about people's religions man. There's no religion that's inherently violent or exceptionally peaceful. It's just like any other ideology that becomes a weapon in the hands of ethnic power. Interrogate power, not religion, and respect people's belief systems insofar as they aren't in your business.
Edit: I've amended the "long history" of Muslim persecution of Jews because it might be misleading in the current political climate. Zionism and antisemitic Arab nationalism are twin births resulting directly from Christian colonization, and Islamic empires tended to actually be more tolerant of other religions compared to Christianity, especially Judaism, which was considered a sibling religion. Antisemitism wasn't ideologically entrenched in Islamic tradition. It's simply that ethno-religious power will lead to ethno religious domination and intermittent cleansing of minorities, and Islam is no exception. Humans be humaning always.
#Edit: please boost the edit#why can't white people just be fuckin normal for once#tbh this site was so weird about Judaism that it felt almost culty#I had several crises about whether I was being antisemitic before I realized no I'm just reacting to the idealization-demonization binary#that seems to be all western leftists know how to do#white queers are the worst about this#and now some of the asks I've been getting gives me the impression that the west thinks ''Islamist'' is some kind of dangerous cryptid#y'all attach insane levels of importance to people's choice of headgear#the only common denominator of all the Muslims I know is their fixation on biriyani idk#a lot of white lefties just want to use religion to distance yourself from your white privilege#same reason as why communism is so attractive to you#y'all want to share in a legacy of oppression because it's easier than self-reflection and unlearning#antisemitism#anti Zionism#Islamphobia#philosemitism#white queers#western leftists#racism#religious fundamentalism#genocide#religious violence#knee of huss
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listen a friend suggested to me. a concept for a fic/au. that i do not know enough about qsmp to create so i am handing it here into the world in case someone DOES know enough and is inspired by this.
anyway so for those who aren't aware, iskall and tubbo have a vhsmp bit where iskall insists that he is tubbo's dad, a thing tubbo originally agreed to in order to get resources, lol. he is also son of captain sparklez by these means, but it's iskall who doesn't let the bit go; basically every interaction they've had on twitter since iskall refers to tubbo as "son", and even sometimes just like, randomly when iskall is otherwise talking about tubbo. it is my favorite silly family dynamic out there, i love it dearly.
the thing my friend suggested was: what if iskall finds out this means he has a granddaughter?
so my qsmp mutuals and followers PLEASE tell me what that would be like, as angsty or as silly as you'd like (i've heard Something is going down with tubbo on qsmp??? i think???), i just think this would be fantastic. i don't even know which egg tubbo has i lost track. or what that egg is like. i just. need this to exist in the world i can learn.
just. picture. iskall, bursting into tears: MUMBO I AM A GRANDFATHER. MUMBO I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO BE A GRANDFATHER. mumbo, a little panicked: i didn't know you were a father-father.
that's all,
#hermitcraft#qsmp#vhsmp#(KIND OF ITS RELEVANT HERE?)#iskall85#tubbo#please. please i need this to exist. please someone who actually knows things about qsmp tell me whether this is sensible as a thing to exi#please--#anyway thank you lei. still thinking about this.
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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
#warm up#writeblr#this is also about being ace btw#my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it#bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like#trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner#and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess#> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT#i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know#but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual#it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND#AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE#bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex#and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs#and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB#i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point#but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one#and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''
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yes, yes i know edgeworth’s big wet eyes and loser boy personality have captivated us all, but listen. listen.
phoenix wright
phoenix “genuinely unable to reconcile the girl on the stand with the girl he dated for eight months, a cognitive dissonance so profound it’s ultimately explained by them being literally two different people, but which he first sits with for five years and does not talk about at any point to anyone” wright
phoenix “don’t mention that name to me. i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to think about it. i am just going to keep myself in this state of perpetual crisis mode focus on other people’s problems until eventually i die and get to hang out with mia on the astral plane and never have to deal with any of these emotions ever again” wright
phoenix “overnight loses his career and reputation and sense of identity while gaining an adopted, probably pretty traumatized eight-year-old daughter, and rather than leaning on his friends for help, or getting therapy, or taking any time to process any of this, he *checks notes* spends seven years dedicating all his free time and energy to investigating the weird fucking circumstances around it and maintains a friendship with the guy he suspects was behind it all” wright
phoenix "runs across a burning bridge and falls through it, half a day after the game establishes that he is terrified of heights, because his friend is on the other side of that bridge" wright
phoenix “i sure felt surprised. maybe i had my poker face on” wright
phoenix “looking back on it that was actually a pretty dark period in my life” wright
phoenix “don’t ask me how i got started. i don’t remember” wright
phoenix “only you stood still, your eyes calmly watching” wright
phoenix “sometimes, life just sucks” wright
just
phoenix wright
crunchiest man in the world
and all i wanna do is chew and chew and chew on him
#ace attorney#where are all the people gnawing on phoenix's bones so white??#i need to find the phoenix bone-gnawing corner of this fandom PLEASE#this is me asking for the Phoenix Fic btw#where is the fic meditating on phoenix's whole mental state in general?#where is the fic about how it's phoenix's cageyness and poker face and flat affect under stress that is the hurdle?#the relationship ramifications of being actually really fucking hard to read when it comes down to it?#where is the fic about the week of his disbarment?#the one detailing the panicked blow by blow of it rippling through his social circle while he stands in the eye of the storm?#the one that ends messy and anxious and unresolved because it's week 1 of 7 years?#where is the birth of phoenix wright: poker legend fic?#where is the art school/theatre major phoenix fic?#no not the able to art/act phoenix fic but the kind of person who chooses to go to art school/study theatre phoenix fic#where is the supremely disinterested in pop culture phoenix fic?#where is the actually incredibly meticulous and competent phoenix fic?#capcom can tell me all they want that he's essentially an adhd disaster flying by the seat of his pants making it all up as he goes#but that's not what they're actually showing me#they're the ones who created an in-fiction legal system that functionally necessitates that#and the nature of the game is that phoenix is almost always proven right so rather than him coming off as hare-brained#his opponents rather just come off as short-sighted. either negligently or maliciously so#and the choices the writing makes in service of retaining mystery and audience suspense in fact function to make phoenix a person#who is astute and puts the pieces together but is cautious in his conclusions#i will grant them that phoenix does tend to lose sight of his overarching goal in getting drawn into proving or disproving minor points#the fact that edgeworth on the other hand never loses sight of this or where the various arguments stand in relation to it#is his sexiest trait as a character by far#but those minor points are actually functionally critical to the ultimate argument phoenix makes#so even though i do read that trait through the game mechanics i do also judge the other characters for being dicks about it#my point is phoenix wright does in fact have the character of a lawyer and is conventionally good at his job fucking fight me#my point is that you all have had 20 goddamn years to Rotate this man#my POINT is that there should be Intricate Fucked Up Meditations On Phoenix that rewire my fucking brain and i NEED to know where they are!
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they should've been at the club(infertility treatment centers)
#like guys. be real with me. how many options did you even try before turning to dark magic#nothing about the situation called for all that😭#in my mind they're like 22 and 25 here which makes it all even funnier#guys please just adopt a dog or something😭#nothing about either of you screams ready for parenthood#im so happy adrien agreste exists but the circumstances of his birth are so ridiculous#there is so much gabe and emilie couldve done besides this. they could have done anything#honestly knowing them(<-girl who believes she knows them) im not even convinced the infertility treatment wasnt working#I think they just both were so allured by the concept of a magic baby#they were like six months in and hadn't gotten pregnant yet and were like. well. I guess we're out of options! dark magic it is!#and made it everyone else's problem forever#these two wanted to be doomed by the narrative SO bad#honestly though being a 22 year old girl I kind of yet it. sometimes I see a cute baby and want one so bad maybe I too would use dark magic#maybe emilie agreste was just a girl.#anyway. sorry adrien that your parents were Like This but it is so so funny#anna rambles#ml#gabriel agreste#emilie agreste
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