#playing around with how i make pony families look related
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Meltyre and his sisters! Felt like designing some ponies so they got to be pony'ified!
#my art#inn between#meltyre#lydda#min#seri#playing around with how i make pony families look related#the canon method is that any color on the parents is able to be used for any color on the kids#like the eye color could be the hair color or coat be hair or hair coat ect ect#i dont usually follow that but this time i played with it more. used the same blues and blacks with all of them except min (she got that-#grey for fun!). Also gave them all varying levels of wavy hair too just cause#breaking out of that i gave them all the same color eyes and some fun patterns that are same enough but different#anyyyway
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"Play Ball" - HHP Drabble/SMAU
inspired by the lovely @iamliacamila.
MDNI18+ only due to some of the language and verbiage relating to smut/smut acts.
Warnings: mostly hardcore fluff.
Parking the car, Heeseung effortlessly backs in his car into a single space as he steers with just one hand. Whistling a tune, he grabs his keys and phone, making his way out to meet up with Jake and H/n at the bleachers. It was an exciting night for him, all because the love of his life, his precious Y/N was slated to fill in a spot in the college's volleyball tournament since one of the girls had injured her ankle and couldn't play.
A ding comes in on his phone, checking the message, he sees that Jake had reserved his spot at the very front of the bleachers.
"Hmph....atta boy." he smirks out as he texted back. It really was a shock to everyone the moment you announced that you were asked to fill in the spot after the volleyball captain had reviewed everyone's admissions packages and noticed that you had dabbled into playing volleyball as a side hobby. Who would have thought that they were sincerely ask you to try out and show them your moves, to which they were impressed enough to quickly ask you to join them.
.........
"Hey babe, the volleyball captain asked me to fill in for them on their next game because one of their girls got injured."
".......You play volleyball?" he raises a brow and looks at you, slowly and subtly biting his lower lip, no doubt imagining you in uniform with a loose ponytail and sweaty strands of hair plastered all over your face and neck.
"I played a little bit during summer camps and just with friends....a little during high school. Nothing too serious."
"Ooooh...." he issued out in an intrigued tone as he held on to your waist.
"You wanna come watch me play? They told me the front bleachers are always reserved for the teams family and friends."
"I would LOVE to come watch you play."
"Okay! I invited H/n to bring Jake and come watch too."
"Sounds good baby."
..................
It all did sound good.....except Heeseung had undermined the fact that you not only looked good in that uniform.....you looked out of this world.
".....Holy....fucking.....shit......"
"Hey Heeseung! We're right here!" Jake waves him down, to which Heeseung quickly glanced over and issued a quick nod but turned back to look over at you, the stunning beauty that stood out in the middle of the sand pit, to which he delightfully admired as he walks up to the front of the bleachers. He knew that you'd look good but he may have underestimated just how 'good' you would actually look.....considering he's seen you decked down with cocktail dresses and those little skirts with the matching tops that you wore in hot weather, or those beautiful form fitting summer dresses that he loves seeing you in. He swears that each time he thought you couldn't look any better....you would prove him wrong.....SO WRONG.
With the shorts riding up and showing off the bare curves of your rear cheeks, your supple round bottom looking so plump and firm and just begging for him to sink his teeth into. Not to mention the crop top that you adorned which.....was evident in displaying that you weren't wearing a bra.
He was too enamored to even get mad at the fact that you were showing off so much skin in front of a large crowd, your hair was in a somewhat high pony tail, with loose strands surrounding your face and adorning your neckline. The kneecap protectors wrapped around those knee high socks made your legs look even more delectable. Thoughts of him ramming into you with just those socks on was all he could see as he watched you stretched and rotate your joints, getting ready to play ball.
"Oh my fucking God....my fucking dick......I'm gonna fucking cu-"
"Hey bro! We're over here, come on!" Jake interrupts as he taps on Heeseung's shoulder, snapping the man out of his highly sexualized and zoned state.
Following his friend, Heeseung sits down and with both legs set in a man spread position, he places both hands on his face, sandwiching his nose as his fingers cover up his eyes. He leans back and takes in deep breaths and sighs, he looked as if he was struggling with a headache or perhaps was dehydrated. Noticing, H/N, while sitting in between Heeseung and Jake, reaches over for a bottled water and taps it over to Heeseung.
"You must be dehydrated, here drink some water. We brought a whole cooler."
"Thanks...." Heeseung merely speaks out as calm as ever, his lids heavy from the harsh rub of his finger tips as he leans back over with his head tilted towards the sky. Maybe he shouldn't have been sitting with his legs man-spreading so wide, since it was taking up so much sitting space, yet he didn't care.....he also didn't want to move. Not even for an inch...unless it was to take you away.
Setting his gaze at you once again, from under the hood of his cap, he twirls his tongue in his mouth, parting it slightly open as he scoffs out a quiet growl. It wasn't until you had stood upright, placed both legs together and bent over, straight legged, getting a good calf stretch out.
"FUCK YOU Y/N!!! OH MY GOD....."
Venting out, he reaches for his phone...
Finally, the game starts. Everyone cheered, boo'd, and launched off a series of hyped up yells as they watched the teams go at it. Of course you would ignite the crowd with your impressive display of finesse and agility as you leaped and lunged, containing perfect form.....with that perfect body that Heeseung could not take his eyes off of. While everyone stood up and cheered, he remained seated and glared from under the shadows of his cap, his arms crossed with one hand propped up as he placed it over his mouth.
While it wasn't seen by anyone else, Jake, being the attentive best friend he was, noticed Heeseung's odd behavior.
Stretching out his jaw, Heeseung stretched out his neck....
From left....
*Crack*
To right....
*Crack*
To back.....
*Crack*
and back to center....
*Crack*
Mouthing silently, Jake looks over to Heeseung's direction and mimic's the words "What are you doing???"
Raising his hands, Jake shakes his head as he starts noticing the other habit that Heeseung began displaying right after got over the jaw clenching and teeth gritting....
Standing up, Heeseung shifted his body and began to take his steps away when both Jake and H/N grabbed on to him, pleading him to stay.
Fortunately the crowd was all standing and flaring their signs left to right, cheering your team on.
During a small time out called by the coach, you ran over to the team seats to grab some water before joining in on the huddle. When all of a sudden the players, and your coach started to remark the abrasive behavior of someone in the stands that was yelling back at two people.
Looking over, you saw Heeseung, seemingly looking as if he was being stopped by both Jake, and H/n. You didn't know what they were trying to stop him from doing, but it was adorable to see H/N on one side, grabbing on to Heeseung's hand as he would lift, having her small and petite frame dangle in mid air as she hangs on for dear life onto his strong forearms, while Jake was on the other side, where Heeseung was facing, with his arm around Heeseung's shoulder trying to calm him back down to his seat.
"Come on bro, just sit down. Take deep breaths man."
"Yeah! What Jake said! Oh my God i'm going to fall, hurry up and lower your arm Ethan! I'm barely able to hold on! Geez you mutant, how can you hold my body up in mid air for so long? Ah!"
With H/N's grip slipping from Heeseung's strong forearm, and Jake losing grip of Heeseung's shoulder, you smirked as you gulped down water from the bottle. Your players urge you to go and ease the man, knowing his reputation yet were too intimidated to confront him themselves, to include your coach.
Running up to the fence, you lean against it and call out to him.
"Heeseung! Heeseung baby, come to me, please."
Snapping his head over to the sound of your voice, his eyes were wide as his lips began to part ways, releasing a silent gasp.
"Pretty baby......she.....came to me......"
Jake and H/n's faces signaled expressions of distressed and exhaustion, yet were so relieved to see you nearby, ready to tame the beast.
Jake retracts his arm from Heeseung's shoulder, while the latter reaches over with his free arm and grabs H/N by the waist.
"Oh!" H/N gasps out as she feels her tiny frame being levitated by Heeseung's strong grip and his staggering height, holding onto her as if she was a teddy bear or a doll. Shifting towards his best friend, Heeseung hands her over to Jake, who takes her in his grip just the same and cradles her on his lap, feeling relieved that she was back down on ground level once more.
Leaping forward, Heeseung gets up to the low fence and leans his frame against it, reaching over the top to hold your hands in his. Admiring your face, he starts to move the loose strands that remained stuck to your skin from all the sweat.
"Baby.....you're really killing it out there....." cupping your cheek, he smirks out from under his cap as he gently wipes the excess sweat from your neck.
"I'm glad you think so." you chuckled. "Game wont be too long, will you stay here and continue to watch me play? You're like my good luck charm, I can't play well without your support." You smiled out.
".....Pretty baby......you need me....don't you?"
"I always need you Heeseung....you too Ethan."
Watching as his beady eyes slightly darken, you watch as his face shift to reflect "Heethan".
Reaching over, you gently caress his face, to which he slightly shifts over and takes your thumb into his mouth and gives a subtle nibble, along with a scoff as you both smiled to each other.
"My Heeseung....my Ethan."
"My Y/n....."
"Wait here for me?"
"I'll wait here for you......but when you're done....you're mine."
"Deal handsome."
Leaning over the fence, you place your hand on the back of his neck and gently pull him in for a kiss. To which he melted into the moment your lips touched.
"Come on Y/N, time out is up!"
Breaking the kiss, you looked into his eyes and bite your lip slightly.
"Try not to stare too hard....mmkay?" you playfully chuckled.
"No promises."
Turning away, you wave over to him as you ran back to your spot on the sand pit.
With a satisfied smile on his face, Heeseung nearly collapsed backwards onto the bleachers, with Jake and H/N gently catching his fall and helping him to a soft landing.
"Geez! What happens to him when he's around her babe?"
Jake merely shakes his head. "Too much babe.....too much..."
"Too much of what?"
"Love."
Noticing the bewitched look on his friend's face, Jake begins to fan him as H/N grabs another bottle water.
Too much love.....for his darling y/n.
#heeseung x reader#heeseung scenarios#heeseung smut#enha x reader#heeseung hard hours#heeseung hard thoughts#heeseung fanfic#enhypen hard hours#enha heeseung#enhypen smut#heeseung fluff#heeseung smau#heeseung imagines#enha smau#yandere enhypen#enhypen yandere#heeseung yandere#yandere heeseung#yandere fic#yandere drabble#yandere x reader#yandere oc x you#yandere x darling
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Eclipse, Discord and Celestia’s only child. Another MLP next gen who had an old design before, which I spruced up a bit, but it was honestly a bitch to make QvQ. I drew a full body of him since I wanted to show him in all his hybrid glory, which took some time to conceptualize since I didn’t want him to look too pony-like or too draconequus-like as some Dislestia babies tend to be. I also used some pony genetics logic with how a parent’s mane colors can become their child’s coat colors and vice versa; some of Celestia’s mane colors were “redistributed” to Eclipse’s wings and his left arm while Discord’s body and tail colors became the colors of Eclipse’s hair and hooves. I know that making next gens with heterochromia were they basically just have one eye color from each parent is usually a sign of “bad design” but I thought it’d be neat here, plus chaos is literally in this boy’s genes so I think it’s justified lol.
Some more info below👇
The fact that Eclipse was even born was a surprise for his parents since they weren’t even sure they were capable of conceiving offspring together and in a way they were right. Eclipse wasn’t born in the normal way, since he was literally made from chaos magic influenced by Discord and Tia’s desire for a child of their own.
His hair’s quite strange in that part of it is just like normal hair while another part flows ethereally like his mother’s. With his father’s help, he’s trying to get the hang of controlling it, but struggles with it a lot. Sunburst and Starlight did make a magical golden hairtie that when he uses it, he has better control of which part of his hair has that etheral quality.
While he can go bipedal, he prefers going on all fours since he has some rather poor balance and doesn’t want to end up embarassing himself in public.
Often taciturn, only speaking much when he feels it’s needed or when he’s around those he’s close with.
Has astigmatism and dyslexia, but is ashamed of these since he wants to keep up the image of a flawless prince, even if his mother always tries to reassure him that he doesn’t have to keep pressuring himself. He does wear glasses to help with the former, but only complied with it since he figured it would make him look wise.
Because of their very similar personalities and the fact they can relate to each other, he’s good friends with Breaking Ground.
Is in a romantic relationship with Summersong, who he had known since his childhood. They were introduced to each other during one of Fluttershy’s visits to the Royal Family and the two became fast friends and often played together. Surprisingly to most, he’s the younger one between them.
Often tries to be very stern and serious, especially when it comes to court politics. He usually tries to set up marriage arrengements that are advantageous in any way (ie, alliances, power, etc.), with his many cousins often being the target of his attempts at political matchmaking. His cousins, meanwhile, have varying reactions to his attempts but often they’re annoyed especially since it does somewhat make him a hypocrite since he’s “essentially married” to Summersong out of love.
Capable of flight and magic, but prefers to not try them out of fear that it could lead to something dangerous happening. He had two accidents related to those things back when he was younger, and it’s scared him out of trying them ever again.
Used to be a much more outgoing and happy-go lucky kid, but constant scrutiny from others because of him being a hybrid (and the son of a former villain, at that) has made him the closed off person he is today.
#mine own postsss#dexwatches mlp#dexwatches mlp:fim#dislestia#mlp next gen#mlp fim#mlp g4#oc:eclipse#dexdraws#dexships
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Hey, thanks so much for recommending Nope! It's now one of my new all-time favorite movies!
To celebrate, I elected to stat up the star of the film in Savage Worlds.
(Spoilers for those who have yet to see it.)
@Jean Jacket
Description:
Kingdom: Animalia.
Phylum: Nubaria, “of the clouds.”
Class: Oblatozoa, “oblate shaped animal.”
Order: Suctoforamina, “window of suction.”
Family: Verispellidae, “shapeshifter.”
Genus: Occulonimbus, “dark cloud”
Species: Occulonimbus edoequus, “Dark Cloud Stallion Eater”
Immense. Awe-inspiring. Fast. Territorial. Hungry. The animal known as Jean Jacket is all of these things and more.
Don't look at it.
Attributes: Agility d12, Smarts d8 (A), Spirit d8, Strength d12+12, Vigor d12
Skills: Athletics d10, Notice d12, Stealth d12
Pace: -; Parry: 2; Toughness: 20
Special Abilities:
All-Around Vision: Jean Jacket's method of sight is unknown, but it can see in all directions, even “behind” it.
Cloud Cover: By expelling a gaseous vapor, Jean Jacket can perfectly disguise itself as a cloud, recognizable only in that it hovers perfectly still as it does so. Rolls to Notice it in this form suffer a -4 penalty as long as it stays still.
Crush: A single attack made against all of its captured prey. Automatically hits. Range 0, Strength in damage.
Anti-Electrical Field: For some unknown reason, though speculated to be electromagnetism related to its ability to fly, Jean Jacket's very presence powers down all electronic devices within 400 meters (200”). They whir back to life the instant the monster leaves the area.
Fear: Jean Jacket's sheer size and speed is horrifying, even moreso when it is unfurled. All who see it must make a Spirit roll to avoid being Frightened. The roll is made at -2 if it recently ate, as the screams of its victims are amplified and carry well on the wind.
Flight: Capable of chasing down a riding horse, Jean Jacket has a flying speed of 90” (60 MPH). -1 penalty to hit. It is always able to hover.
Gas Bag: The trouble of harming Jean Jacket stems not from armor, but from a sheer lack of anything to harm. Called Shots do no extra damage, but explosive attacks deal double damage.
Size 12 (Gargantuan): Jean Jacket measures 110 meters in diameter and 20 meters thick at its widest point while hunting, but its form, while large and imposing, is mostly hot air. +6 to hit, but only Heavy Weapons can hurt it. (Average of +5 combined with Flight.)
Spit: Athletics roll to hit. d4-d10 damage, depending on size of the object. Range is 12/24/48. The indigestible bits of Jean Jacket's meals are often shot back down at the ground at high enough velocities to embed themselves in flesh and wood, but rarely do enough damage to kill.
Swallow Whole: All those devoured by the massive, flying predator's mouth find themselves trapped in a hot, suffocating, claustrophobic gut. At the end of each turn, any creature inside must make a Vigor roll at -2 to avoid taking a wound from the crushing and acid. The roll is instead made at +4 if Jean Jacket's stomach is blocked by something.
Vacuum: Jean Jacket's primary method of capturing prey. Everyone within a medium blast template (if directly above) or in a cone template (if coming at an angle) must make a Strength check at -4 to avoid being inhaled and immediately Swallowed Whole. Creatures that are Large make the roll at -2 and Huge make the roll with no penalty. Gargantuan creatures are immune to this suction. If Jean Jacket is Shaken or Wounded in the same round that it vacuumed up a creature, that creature is automatically spat back out.
(For those who don't play Savage Worlds, Jean Jacket is a bit of a glass cannon for its size, as well as a one-trick pony, but anything it vacuums up is going to be dead in a round or two, tops. I wasn't sure how to balance the speed since horses are statted much slower for tactical play, so I went with the IRL top speed of 55 MPH for reference. To balance against the horse stats in the core rules, reduce the flight speed's to 12-18 tabletop inches (24-36 yards/meters per turn) and allow it to "run.")
I've never played and can still tell how well this is adapted!
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Welcome To My Blog!
Hey! I’m making another pinned post because the one that I originally did got lost to my reblogging so yeah.
Aloha! I’m Raina (or Raine) and I draw, sing, dance, write and act! But I don’t really post a lot of the stuff I write or draw, although I have finally gotten around to posting my writings, I don’t think I have the confidence to post my art yet. I’m also 18! (Thought it was about time I put my age in my bio)
Fandoms I’m Into ATM: Gravity Falls, Sonic, Hunter x Hunter, Ducktales, The Three Caballeros, Ouran High School Host Club, Fullmetal Alchemist, Buddy Daddies, The Millionaire Detective: Balance Unlimited, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Hazbin Hotel, FNAF, The Umbrella Academy, My Little Pony, Sanders Sides, Clarence, Wander Over Yonder, Craig of the Creek, Mario, Kirby, Hamilton, Dan Vs, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Villainous, Minecraft: Storymode, Ace Attorney, Hazbin Hotel, Sk8 The Infinity, SpongeBob SquarePants, Stardew Valley, Good Omens, Vinesauce, Markiplier, Undertale, Total Drama, Deltarune and many more!
I’m mostly just into books, musicals, cartoons and video games in general!
Most of my posts are reblogs, but sometimes I’ll post random shit that happens to me (especially rants, vents and school related stuff) and some of my drawings and writings, so don’t mind that. (Also, sorry if my reblogging is too much, I reblog ALOT of shit, so sorry if it’s annoying) and if you want someone to talk to or wanna be friends, just hit me up! My blog is also a safe space for everyone (except for the usual gross people like p*dos, incest shippers, the like) I hope you enjoy your stay! (I also don’t usually tag my reblogs, sometimes I will but only for little comments I make)
And in case I don’t see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight! (PS, if you are the IRS or are sent by the IRS just know that I will not be paying taxes)
Oh also, if you ever get on my blog on the computer, tell me what song you got on my playlist! Whatever song you get is you if you were a song.
Oh right, here are a few of my fanfics if you’re interested.
Experiment 47: The Copier Machine: Ford is lonely. Very, very lonely. And as much as he didn’t want to admit it... He missed his twin. So, what’s the most logical way to deal with repressed emotions instead of sucking up your pride and actually trying to make up with your twin? Build a cloning machine, of course. (Basically my theory on how the cloning machine in the Mystery Shack came to be)
The New Look Turnabouts: As time goes on, Miles and Phoenix end up changing their iconic looks (Either by accident or on purpose) and every time they end up falling more in love with each other.
Restless In Los Kyoto: After Phoenix sends his radio message to Miles, he doesn't exactly expect anything to come from it. And he especially doesn't expect to get a response back.
Hijinks & Shenanigans Will Ensue: Little snippets in the lives of our favorite Ace Attorney characters. Some stories will be based on official artworks, others are based on my own ideas. Some will even be Aus. All of them will be drabbles and little ficlets.
Also, here’s some quizzes I made!
https://uquiz.com/fZWBsK (what do you live for?)
https://uquiz.com/eCH3HW (which member of my family are you?)
https://uquiz.com/v2O6Sp (would i let you introduce me to a new type of media i haven’t seen and that you like)
https://uquiz.com/m1NZOq (you answer stuff and i decide what unknown media i like that i think you’d like)
https://uquiz.com/2ulAQQ (which character from a musical/play that i was in are you)
https://uquiz.com/payRQj (what character are you but it’s my original story characters that will most likely never see the light of day)
Also here’s some of my art (I’ve been posting it recently and it’s been sooo bad I promise I’m good at art guys look)
(It’s a pencil drawing of a photorealistic balloon)
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Following the embers
Idunn looked around in what felt like a frantic manner. Her dress was pretty to look at but the fabric made her skin crawl, the dress was far as one could get in her opinion from practical, while also feeling as if it was suffocating her. Her family was somewhere around the gigantic room that was holding some sort of celebration that the adults had decided merited a ball. She couldn’t even remember what the specific occasion was; She had been distracted when they were prepared for it by the riddle Runa had asked her that she had been pondering.
She spotted her father off to one side talking with one of his friends, one that he had fought at Azanulbizar with, while Edain was farther down the hall looking slightly flushed from the obvious ribbing his friends were giving him. Glain and Tofferi, her One whom was courting her, were on what could only be described as the dance floor.
She had always hated these sorts of things. no one ever asked her to dance aside from Edain, knowing she loved to dance, and Tofferi, also knowing her love of dancing but also because he was kind. he also knew them getting along would make Glain very happy even if it wasn’t a hardship to him to dance with his One’s sister who was generally friendly with him.
Unlike most celebrations, this one was one typically held only for those that could be considered nobles, even if most of the nobility had to live and work just as hard as everyone else. Idunn and her family were only allowed because her Aunt Freyja had married Gloin who was distantly related to the king.
She hated the stuffiness and rules of talking of it all. it all felt fake which she hated more than anything else. how was she suppose to know if someone was being polite because they had to or because they actually liked her? She was almost certain at least half of these people were two-faced toward at least her if not Glain as well.
Her eyes landed on Princess Dis, a beautiful Dwarrowdam that Glain tried to subtly emulate in manners and tried to constantly teach Idunn to do the same, who was turned to talk to the two younger dwarrow at her side that could only be her sons. She had heard from Bodil that they were quite the pair of mischievous rascals thought other dwarrowdams had been giving them speculative looks as they grew older even though neither was yet of age for such things.
She always recoiled from such things but had not heard similar about them; while not one to judge, Idunn wondered if they reveled in the attention despite the general grossness of the implications of it. Despite that, She had never had the chance to meet them herself and she doubted they would care to meet her. She wasn’t anyone special; She was just a simple dwarrowdam that was raising a pony, a raven, and an owl. Just a dwarrowdam that knew what her Craft was and wanted to eventually have a shop of her own to share her passion with others.
~~
Runa had always gently said “you are kind and always offer help should it look like someone might need it even if it is a simple task. You go out of your way to help collect the herbs for Bodil, Oin, and I. You always buy an extra chunk of Erik’s favorite cheese that our ‘Amad can’t afford to get him and will spend your free time playing with him.”
Bodil had rather bluntly said ”Idunn, you make snap judgements based on seemingly innocuous things. if someone fails whatever test or judgement you make, you either ignore them as unimportant or uninteresting or if you decide they are a threat than you can lash out or snubbed them.” Idunn must have looked hurt by the assessment because Bodil continued “You have had a hard time. people have been cruel to you without you knowing why, You adapted to that to guard your heart and avoid wasting effort on those that won’t reciprocate.”
“Don’t dislike the part of you that knows you deserve niceness, Idunn.” Bodil urged giving her hand a gentle squeeze before adding “If someone is kind or treats you well, you would move mountains for them and set yourself alight to warm them. you also will listen to reason if your judgements are questioned and change your mind if the reason is sound. You also aren’t cruel about it all even if you don’t like someone, you are still kind or at least polite and only have lashed out when they hurt you first”
~~
The sounds around her feel loud and overwhelming. A loud woman’s laugh, one that rings false to her ears as if the one laughing is faking, fills the air even as the music played on instruments reaches a crescendo. She can tell her breathing is faster than what it should be. it was an unfortunate consequence of a run in late in the night with a crowd of older drunken dwarrows with a penchants for violent shoving games, something she had breathed not a word of especially when they had spoken so vilely toward her ‘Amad who was feeling ill again.
@uzbadyand
#Following the Embers#the title is kinda about after the scene#Fili is gonna be chasing after the sightings of the fire hair like alice after the white rabbit
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Does Ember teach Spike how to be a dragon? He most like got those instincts but it would be good that he learned how to be better at whatever.
Spike wasn't sure how long he and Ember had been together, alone, getting to know one another. They spent most of their day's talking, learning about one another, it was... it was a trippy experience. Never had he ever had this much conversation time with someone. Not even with Twilight... it was strange, even more so because he'd felt a natural affinity with her.
LIke they were two halves of the same coin.
Which, she'd explained to him was due to their relation. He had been skeptical at first, but the more time he spent with her, the more he felt like he was in the presence of family. Similar to Twilight, Similar to his mother, but different. Different in another way.
He'd learned a lot, and realized that he was so different from even other dragons... and that frightened him.
"Most other dragons are quite crude... you're not..." Ember gave Spike a one over. He was different than any of their kin... he had too much pony in him. And had he been any other Dragon she may have simply left him to it... but that sense of longing, of finally finding the kinship she'd been missing with her own flesh and blood...
She couldn't simply allow him to go to fall victim to the same tropes. There was something refreshing about having a kind hearted younger brother... not that all dragons were mean or cruel... but... she quite liked the cute attitude that Spike had. Again, had he been another dragon she would have ignored it, but he was her younger sibling and having a cute adorable little sibling did things to her heart she didn't quite understand.
"Still." She gently rubbed his shoulders, "You're lack wings."
"Wings? I'm going to have Wings?!"
"You should, but... I wonder iff you've had a stunted growth... do you not collect?"
Spike grimaced... "I... I did once... in Canterlot it... it didn't go well."
"Ah, you weren't able to control it I see... most of the time, we're forced to keep it controlled... though there is nothing wrong with not hoarding. I don't do it much myself..." Ember supposed she was quite an oddball herself.
Still... her heart ached, remembering the story of what he went through... "I'm sorry. That you had to go through all of that..."
"Ah... I..."
"You're mates turning your back on you... must have been horrible."
"Mates?! No no1 They weren't... they weren't my mates?"
She found that hard to believe, with the way that Spike had described two of the ponies, she'd assumed that there was a relation between them... though perhaps it was her latent older sibling instincts coming into play, but knowing her little brother was not the plaything of an older woman was for the best. Though Spike was an adult by pony standards, that didn't make her any more comfortable with the thought.
"I realize it may be hard, but I'm sure that, if they are you describe, they will come to forgive youf or the destruction."
"I just... I'm scared... I did a lot of damage and... I saw the looks..."
She nodded, "Most other creatures tend to fear us... it's a natural instinct."
"I don't know if I'll ever go back... I don't know if they'll want me."
Spike was doing it again, he was being a downer... he knew he shou- he felt strong arms pull him into a warm hug, wrapping around him and holding him tight. "Little brother, your fears are unwarranted, I know not much about these Ponies... but if they were as important to you as you say, I'm sure that time will heal all wounds."
Spike found himself nuzzling into her bosom. It felt nice, having someone he could put his heart into.
He knew, he had a lot to learn about being a dragon, but he also knew she would willingly help.
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again. enderspawn posting about jrwi mlp has made me want to talk about the au that’s been swirling around in my head for a while now. special interest go brrr
i havent drawn jay yet and i changed my design for gillion so unfortunately all i have visuals for so far is chip (here)
these notes are completely unorganized, but i swear there’s a coherent au with a storyline underneath
Jay: pegasus
- the Ferins are a lot taller than most pegasi (which are typically the smallest of the pony races) and they have noticeably large wings
- the navy is majority pegasi (because in mlp canon, pegasi already have a history of culturally encouraged militarism)
- her cutie mark is waves near a beach--specifically depicting a riptide current--and she got it by saving someone at sea. later, as a pirate, she realizes that this--what her, gil, and chip are doing--was what her cutie mark was about all along. being at sea. saving people. its a little unconventional, but it feels more true than her previous interpretation of it being navy-related.
Chip: changeling
- left the Hive and was taken in by Arlin and the Black Rose pirates; they knew of his actual species and were among the only people to not distrust him for it
- the reason he looks so similar to Lizzie is because he used to pretend to be her twin. after the hole in the sea, he adopted that look as his disguise permanently, because he missed her
- after Gil and Jay learn about his species, he shapeshifts in much the same way he does in canon with his bandanna. he uses it to play pranks, disguise himself, or catch an opponent off-guard... oh, you know chip, he uses it to fuck with gil
- he does this thing where, when trying to persuade someone, he changes his cutie mark to something relevant to what he’s saying and subtly puts it in their line of sight. he played a dangerous game by doing this even before his crewmates knew, trying to keep the changed mark out of their sights
Gillion: kelpie
- i was originally going to make him a seapony/hippogriff, but it just didnt fit him, so instead i designed what is basically tritons, but horse, and then decided to call them kelpies ignoring the kelpies that are canon to the comics
- for kelpies, the coral that grows from some of their heads’ acts a lot like a unicorn or kirin’s horn. they also have a subrace without coral. they do not have a pegasus-like equivalent
- kelpies actually DO get cutie marks which is unsual since theyre not technically ponies! i included this because gillion having an unhealthy relationship to his cutie mark due to its connection to destiny (which he naturally has a fucked up relationship to) was important to me with this au. his cutie mark is a sword pointed down, struck by lightning, which becomes blood partway down the blade and drips off the tip. it takes a lot of work for him to see it as a good thing, being so obviously linked to the violence he was raised in, but he eventually recontextualizes it as not “being the chosen one” but as “protecting family and friends and crew”
Ollie: half-kirin, half-unicorn
- in this analogy, kirin = elf
- he has the mane and tail of a kirin, the coat of a unicorn, and his horn is a mix of both. he can also become a nirik if properly enraged, but the crew hasnt really seen this side of him yet.
Lizzie: earth pony
- the face that Chip based his pony persona on
- got a cutie mark for piracy, which Chip accuses her of “copying” from his. (lizzie: thats not how this works you dumb fucking changeling)
Caspian: aquatic unicorn
- no notes. head empty. just caspian
- ok i lied. head very full of thoughts of an entire group of unicorns who specialize in aquatic magic (breathing underwater, swimming fast, etc) being part of the undersea
- theyre not biologically distinct from unicorns. they just practice a specific type of magic to sustain their lifestyle underwater.
- foals would be born and raised abovewater for their first few years. the minute they can consistently keep themselves alive underwater, the family moves back to the undersea.
#writing this makes me wanna draw all these designs#i know EXACTLY what they look like in my head#jrwi#jrwi riptide#mlp au#mlp#chip#chip jrwi#lizzie#lizzie jrwi#caspian#caspian jrwi#gillion tide#jay ferin#ollie#ollie jrwi
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“Elliot Page doesn’t remember exactly how long he had been asking.
But he does remember the acute feeling of triumph when, around age 9, he was finally allowed to cut his hair short. “I felt like a boy,” Page says. “I wanted to be a boy. I would ask my mom if I could be someday.” Growing up in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Page visualized himself as a boy in imaginary games, freed from the discomfort of how other people saw him: as a girl. After the haircut, strangers finally started perceiving him the way he saw himself, and it felt both right and exciting.
The joy was short-lived. Months later, Page got his first break, landing a part as a daughter in a Canadian mining family in the TV movie Pit Pony. He wore a wig for the film, and when Pit Pony became a TV show, he grew his hair out again. “I became a professional actor at the age of 10,” Page says. And pursuing that passion came with a difficult compromise. “Of course I had to look a certain way.”
We are speaking in late February. It is the first interview Page, 34, has given since disclosing in December that he is transgender, in a heartfelt letter posted to Instagram, and he is crying before I have even uttered a question. “Sorry, I’m going to be emotional, but that’s cool, right?” he says, smiling through his tears.
It’s hard for him to talk about the days that led up to that disclosure. When I ask how he was feeling, he looks away, his neck exposed by a new short haircut. After a pause, he presses his hand to his heart and closes his eyes. “This feeling of true excitement and deep gratitude to have made it to this point in my life,” he says, “mixed with a lot of fear and anxiety.”
It’s not hard to understand why a trans person would be dealing with conflicting feelings in this moment. Increased social acceptance has led to more young people describing themselves as trans—1.8% of Gen Z compared with 0.2% of boomers, according to a recent Gallup poll—yet this has fueled conservatives who are stoking fears about a “transgender craze.” President Joe Biden has restored the right of transgender military members to serve openly, and in Hollywood, trans people have never had more meaningful time onscreen. Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling is leveraging her cultural capital to oppose transgender equality in the name of feminism, and lawmakers are arguing in the halls of Congress over the validity of gender identities. “Sex has become a political football in the culture wars,” says Chase Strangio, deputy director for transgender justice at the ACLU.
(Full article with photos continued under the “read more”)
And so Page—who charmed America as a precocious pregnant teenager in Juno, constructed dreamscapes in Inception and now stars in Netflix’s hit superhero show The Umbrella Academy, the third season of which he’s filming in Toronto—expected that his news would be met with both applause and vitriol. “What I was anticipating was a lot of support and love and a massive amount of hatred and transphobia,” says Page. “That’s essentially what happened.” What he did not anticipate was just how big this story would be. Page’s announcement, which made him one of the most famous out trans people in the world, started trending on Twitter in more than 20 countries. He gained more than 400,000 new followers on Instagram on that day alone. Thousands of articles were published. Likes and shares reached the millions. Right-wing podcasters readied their rhetoric about “women in men’s locker rooms.” Casting directors reached out to Page’s manager saying it would be an honor to cast Page in their next big movie.
So, it was a lot. Over the course of two conversations, Page will say that understanding himself in all the specifics remains a work in progress. Fathoming one’s gender, an identity innate and performed, personal and social, fixed and evolving, is complicated enough without being under a spotlight that never seems to turn off. But having arrived at a critical juncture, Page feels a deep sense of responsibility to share his truth. “Extremely influential people are spreading these myths and damaging rhetoric—every day you’re seeing our existence debated,” Page says. “Transgender people are so very real.”
That role in Pit Pony led to other productions and eventually, when Page was 16, to a film called Mouth to Mouth. Playing a young anarchist, Page had a chance to cut his hair again. This time, he shaved it off completely. The kids at his high school teased him, but in photos he has posted from that time on social media he looks at ease. Page’s head was still shaved when he mailed in an audition tape for the 2005 thriller Hard Candy. The people in charge of casting asked him to audition again in a wig. Soon, the hair was back.
Page’s tour de force performance in Hard Candy led, two years later, to Juno, a low-budget indie film that brought Page Oscar, BAFTA and Golden Globe nominations and sudden megafame. The actor, then 21, struggled with the stresses of that ascension. The endless primping, red carpets and magazine spreads were all agonizing reminders of the disconnect between how the world saw Page and who he knew himself to be. “I just never recognized myself,” Page says. “For a long time I could not even look at a photo of myself.” It was difficult to watch the movies too, especially ones in which he played more feminine roles.
Page loved making movies, but he also felt alienated by Hollywood and its standards. Alia Shawkat, a close friend and co-star in 2009’s Whip It,describes all the attention from Juno as scarring. “He had a really hard time with the press and expectations,” Shawkat says. “‘Put this on! And look this way! And this is sexy!’”
By the time he appeared in blockbusters like X-Men: The Last Stand and Inception, Page was suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks. He didn’t know, he says, “how to explain to people that even though [I was] an actor, just putting on a T-shirt cut for a woman would make me so unwell.” Shawkat recalls Page’s struggles with clothes. “I’d be like, ‘Hey, look at all these nice outfits you’re getting,’ and he would say, ‘It’s not me. It feels like a costume,’” she says. Page tried to convince himself that he was fine, that someone who was fortunate enough to have made it shouldn’t have complaints. But he felt exhausted by the work required to “just exist,” and thought more than once about quitting acting.
In 2014, Page came out as gay, despite feeling for years that “being out was impossible” given his career. (Gender identity and sexual orientation are, of course, distinct, but one queer identity can coexist with another.) In an emotional speech at a Human Rights Campaign conference, Page talked about being part of an industry “that places crushing standards” on actors and viewers alike. “There are pervasive stereotypes about masculinity and femininity that define how we’re all supposed to act, dress and speak,” Page went on. “And they serve no one.”
The actor started wearing suits on the red carpet. He found love, marrying choreographer Emma Portner in 2018. He asserted more agency in his career, producing his own films with LGBTQ leads like Freeheld and My Days of Mercy. And he made a masculine wardrobe a condition of taking roles. Yet the daily discord was becoming unbearable. “The difference in how I felt before coming out as gay to after was massive,” says Page. “But did the discomfort in my body ever go away? No, no, no, no.”
In part, it was the isolation forced by the pandemic that brought to a head Page’s wrestling with gender. (Page and Portner separated last summer, and the two divorced in early 2021. “We’ve remained close friends,” Page says.) “I had a lot of time on my own to really focus on things that I think, in so many ways, unconsciously, I was avoiding,” he says. He was inspired by trailblazing trans icons like Janet Mock and Laverne Cox, who found success in Hollywood while living authentically. Trans writers helped him understand his feelings; Page saw himself reflected in P. Carl’s memoir Becoming a Man. Eventually “shame and discomfort” gave way to revelation. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” Page says, “and letting myself fully become who I am.”
This led to a series of decisions. One was asking the world to call him by a different name, Elliot, which he says he’s always liked. Page has a tattoo that says E.P. PHONE HOME, a reference to a movie about a young boy with that name. “I loved E.T. when I was a kid and always wanted to look like the boys in the movies, right?” he says. The other decision was to use different pronouns—for the record, both he/him and they/them are fine. (When I ask if he has a preference on pronouns for the purposes of this story, Page says, “He/him is great.”)
A day before we first speak, Page will talk to his mom about this interview and she will tell him, “I’m just so proud of my son.” He grows emotional relating this and tries to explain that his mom, the daughter of a minister, who was born in the 1950s, was always trying to do what she thought was best for her child, even if that meant encouraging young Page to act like a girl. “She wants me to be who I am and supports me fully,” Page says. “It is a testament to how people really change.”
Another decision was to get top surgery. Page volunteers this information early in our conversation; at the time he posted his disclosure on Instagram, he was recovering in Toronto. Like many trans people, Page emphasizes being trans isn’t all about surgery. For some people, it’s unnecessary. For others, it’s unaffordable. For the wider world, the media’s focus on it has sensationalized transgender bodies, inviting invasive and inappropriate questions. But Page describes surgery as something that, for him, has made it possible to finally recognize himself when he looks in the mirror, providing catharsis he’s been waiting for since the “total hell” of puberty. “It has completely transformed my life,” he says. So much of his energy was spent on being uncomfortable in his body, he says. Now he has that energy back.
For the transgender community at large, visibility does not automatically lead to acceptance. Around the globe, transgender people deal disproportionately with violence and discrimination. Anti-trans hate crimes are on the rise in the U.K. along with increasingly transphobic rhetoric in newspapers and tabloids. In the U.S., in addition to the perennial challenges trans people face with issues like poverty and homelessness, a flurry of bills in state legislatures would make it a crime to provide transition-related medical care to trans youth. And crass old jokes are still in circulation. When Biden lifted the ban on open service for transgender troops, Saturday Night Live’s Michael Che did a bit on Weekend Update about the policy being called “don’t ask, don’t tuck.”
Page says coming out as trans was “selfish” on one level: “It’s for me. I want to live and be who I am.” But he also felt a moral imperative to do so, given the times. Human identity is complicated and mysterious, but politics insists on fitting everything into boxes. In today’s culture wars, simplistic beliefs about gender—e.g., chromosomes = destiny—are so widespread and so deep-seated that many people who hold those beliefs don’t feel compelled to consider whether they might be incomplete or prejudiced. On Feb. 24, after a passionate debate on legislation that would ban discrimination against LGBTQ people, Representative Marie Newman, an Illinois Democrat, proudly displayed the pride flag in support of her daughter, who is trans. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Georgia Republican, responded by hanging a poster outside her office that read: There are TWO genders: MALE & FEMALE.
The next day Dr. Rachel Levine, who stands to become the first openly transgender federal official confirmed by the Senate, endured a tirade from Senator Rand Paul about “genital mutilation” during her confirmation hearing. My second conversation with Page happens shortly after this. He brings it up almost immediately, and seems both heartbroken and determined. He wants to emphasize that top surgery, for him, was “not only life-changing but lifesaving.” He implores people to educate themselves about trans lives, to learn how crucial medical care can be, to understand that lack of access to it is one of the many reasons that an estimated 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide, according to one survey.
Page has been in the political trenches for a while, having leaned into progressive activism after coming out as queer in 2014. For two seasons, he and best friend Ian Daniel filmed Gaycation, a Viceland series that explored LGBTQ culture around the world and, at one point, showed Page grilling Senator Ted Cruz at the Iowa State Fair about discrimination against queer people. In 2019, Page made a documentary called There’s Something in the Water, which explores environmental hardships experienced by communities of color in Nova Scotia, with $350,000 of his own money. That activism extends to his own industry: in 2017, he published a Facebook post that, among other things, accused director Brett Ratner of forcibly outing him as gay on the set of an X-Men movie. (A representative for Ratner did not respond to a request for comment.)
As a trans person who is white, wealthy and famous, Page has a unique kind of privilege, and with it an opportunity to advocate for those with less. According to the U.S. Trans Survey, a large-scale report from 2015, transgender people of color are more likely to experience unemployment, harassment by police and refusals of medical care. Nearly half of all Black respondents reported being denied equal treatment, verbally harassed and/or physically attacked in the past year. Trans people as a group fare much worse on such stats than the general population. “My privilege has allowed me to have resources to get through and to be where I am today,” Page says, “and of course I want to use that privilege and platform to help in the ways I can.”
Since his disclosure, Page has been mostly quiet on social media. One exception has been to tweet on behalf of the ACLU, which is in the midst of fighting anti-trans bills and laws around the country, including those that ban transgender girls and women from participating in sports. Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves says he will sign such a bill in the name of “protect[ing] young girls.” Page played competitive soccer and vividly recalls the agony of being told he would have to play on the girls’ team once he aged out of mixed-gender squads. After an appeal, Page was allowed to play with the boys for an additional year. Today, several bills list genitalia as a requirement for deciding who plays on which team. “I would have been in that position as a kid,” Page says. “It’s horrific.”
All this advocacy is unlikely to make life easier. “You can’t enter into certain spaces as a public trans person,” says the ACLU’s Strangio, “without being prepared to spend some percentage of your life being threatened and harassed.” Yet, while he seems overwhelmed at times, Page is also eager. Many of the political attacks on trans people—whether it is a mandate that bathroom use be determined by birth sex, a blanket ban on medical interventions for trans kids or the suggestion that trans men are simply wayward women beguiled by male privilege—carry the same subtext: that trans people are mistaken about who they are. “We know who we are,” Page says. “People cling to these firm ideas [about gender] because it makes people feel safe. But if we could just celebrate all the wonderful complexities of people, the world would be such a better place.”
Even if Page weren’t vocal, his public presence would communicate something powerful. That is in part because of what Paisley Currah, a professor of political science at Brooklyn College, calls “visibility gaps.” Historically, trans women have been more visible, in culture and in Hollywood, than trans men. There are many explanations: Our culture is obsessed with femininity. Men’s bodies are less policed and scrutinized. Patriarchal people tend to get more emotional about who is considered to be in the same category as their daughters. “And a lot of trans men don’t stand out as trans,” says Currah, who is a trans man himself. “I think we’ve taken up less of the public’s attention because masculinity is sort of the norm.”
During our interviews, Page will repeatedly refer to himself as a “transgender guy.” He also calls himself nonbinary and queer, but for him, transmasculinity is at the center of the conversation right now. “It’s a complicated journey,” he says, “and an ongoing process.”
While the visibility gap means that trans men have been spared some of the hate endured by trans women, it has also meant that people like Page have had fewer models. “There were no examples,” Page says of growing up in Halifax in the 1990s. There are many queer people who have felt “that how they feel deep inside isn’t a real thing because they never saw it reflected back to them,” says Tiq Milan, an activist, author and transgender man. Page offers a reflection: “They can see that and say, ‘You know what, that’s who I am too,’” Milan says. When there aren’t examples, he says, “people make monsters of us.”
For decades, that was something Hollywood did. As detailed in the 2020 Netflix documentary Disclosure, transgender people have been portrayed onscreen as villainous and deceitful, tragic subplots or the butt of jokes. In a sign of just how far the industry has come—spurred on by productions like Pose and trailblazers like Mock—Netflix offered to change the credits on The Umbrella Academy the same day that its star posted his statement on social media. Now when an episode ends, the first words viewers see are “Elliot Page.”
Today, there are many out trans and nonbinary actors, directors and producers. Storylines involving trans people are more common, more respectful. Sometimes that aspect of identity is even incidental, rather than the crux of a morality tale. And yet Hollywood can still seem a frightening place for LGBTQ people to come out. “It’s an industry that says, ‘Don’t do that,’” says director Silas Howard, who got his break on Amazon’s show Transparent, which made efforts to hire transgender crew members. “I wouldn’t have been hired if they didn’t have a trans initiative,” Howard says. “I’m always aware of that.”
So what will it mean for Page’s career? While Page has appeared in many projects, he also faced challenges landing female leads because he didn’t fit Hollywood’s narrow mold. Since Page’s Instagram post, his team is seeing more activity than they have in years. Many of the offers coming in—to direct, to produce, to act—are trans-related, but there are also some “dude roles.”
Downtime in quarantine helped Page accept his gender identity. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” he says.
Page was attracted to the role of Vanya in The Umbrella Academy because—in the first season, released in 2019—Vanya is crushed by self-loathing, believing herself to be the only ordinary sibling in an extraordinary family. The character can barely summon the courage to move through the world. “I related to how much Vanya was closed off,” Page says. Now on set filming the third season, co-workers have seen a change in the actor. “It seems like there’s a tremendous weight off his shoulders, a feeling of comfort,” says showrunner Steve Blackman. “There’s a lightness, a lot more smiling.” For Page, returning to set has been validating, if awkward at times. Yes, people accidentally use the wrong pronouns—“It’s going to be an adjustment,” Page says—but co-workers also see and acknowledge him.
The debate over whether cisgender people, who have repeatedly collected awards for playing trans characters, should continue to do so has largely been settled. However, trans actors have rarely been considered for cisgender parts. Whatever challenges might lie ahead, Page seems exuberant about playing a new spectrum of roles. “I’m really excited to act, now that I’m fully who I am, in this body,” Page says. “No matter the challenges and difficult moments of this, nothing amounts to getting to feel how I feel now.”
This includes having short hair again. During our interview, Page keeps rearranging strands on his forehead. It took a long time for him to return to the barber’s chair and ask to cut it short, but he got there. And how did that haircut feel?
Page tears up again, then smiles. “I just could not have enjoyed it more,” he says.”
#suicide m#transphobia m#Elliot Page#transgender#representation#celebrities#actors#tv#movies#rep#trans#transmasculine#nonbinary#queer#long post
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A while ago I received an interesting question about game aesthetics. The person in that ask really struggles with downloading stuff and finding their own style. They asked me how I came up with what you see on my screenshots. Have you ever thought that you can recognize whose screenshot this is by just a quick glance? Is editing important in photoshop? How to take beautiful screenshots? Today let’s talk about how different one single game could be for each of us and what really makes this mysterious “sims aesthetics”.
EDIT: Sorry, it turned out to be huge with lots of random thoughts :D I hope at least one percent of these is useful!
NOTE: English is not my native language, I apologize for possible grammar or spelling mistakes. I tried my best in writing this!
Ok, let’s imagine that you’re a person who just obtained the sims game or just want a nice fresh start and demolished your download folder. (We all need fresh starts sometimes, right?) The struggle is that you have no idea which style you like the best. There are so many sims blogs. Everyone seems to enjoy what they post but you’re a little bit lost in that jungle. Don’t worry! I’ll try to guide you and share my thoughts.
STEP 1 Choose your general style
I roughly divide all sims blogs that I see on my dashboard into a couple of so-called styles. I’ve been doing it in my mind for ages. I like following different people and seeing diferent editing. None of them are better than others. I hope you understand that it’s just a matter of liking. Ok, here we go. Let me put this sorting hat on you :D
1. Realistic
Screenshot by @luchiatores
Perhaps, it’s the most important thing that you should decide for yourself. Wether you should use realistic textures in your game or you’d prefer to stick to more cartoonish maxis match ones. Why is it so important, to my mind? I like things that match. Just imagine game Witcher 3 where characters and surroundings are realistic. And now imagine Minecraft where things are pixelated. Both games are great, both games have certain beautiful styles. And now imagine Geralt hunting for monsters in a pixelated Minecraft swamp. A bit strange, isn’t it? :D The same applies to Sims. If you put a super realistic skintone on your sim and put a Maxis ponytail, that would probably look strange too. If you choose this style, just try to dig for a good quality content, start following simblrs in this style. Unfortunately, I’m not an expert when it comes to realistic content. So, try to drop an ask to someone whose realistic game you like. There are so many helpful people around in the sims community no matter what style they have :)
2. Trully Maxis Match
screenshot by @whattheskell
This is a complete opposite of a realistic style. I’ve always called people who use a lot of original maxis textures “trully maxis” :D If you can decorate a house without any custom content, if you like the way original hairstyles look, if you like Maxis clothes, you should go this way. From what I’ve spot after being so many years in the sims community, “trully” maxis simblr are so creative when it comes to storytelling. The stories that they write about either their sims/or maxis premades are so breathtaking. So much drama, so much fun. The only thing that I write about my screenshots is “Ok, this is my cat! Look, it can eat flowers and puke afterwardst! Yay! Cute”. If you choose this way, I can recommend you to check out @holleyberry, @didilysims or @moocha-muses. Obviously there are a lot more blogs that I follow. These people are just so sweet and helpful and they’re first who came to my mind.
3. Bright Maxis Matchery
screenshot by @muupi
This is where I refer myself to. This style is still Maxis but what stands out is the use of bright colours and saturated photoshopped pictures. Ah, my love for overedited pictures is endless <3 This is what I’m going to talk a lot below since it’s my cup of tea. It’s all about colours and pallete addiction. If you love looking at super bright/silly/cheery screenshots and they boost up your mood, than join the squad!
Basically, Maxis match (I’ll just shorten for MM from now on) players avoid super shiny skins or hair textures and prefer to have content with Simlish letters instead of English ones. This is a very important factor for me when I choose paintings or prints for T-shirts. I don’t know, I feel like it’s so cute that sims can’t understand our languages, talk this funny gibberish simlish language. It’s cute! There are so so many people that I can recommend. @lina-cherie @keoni-chan @kahlenas They are first who came to my mind <3
4. Grungy/cosmic
screenshot by @lilithpleasant
I don’t know if these are suitable words :D But this is how I describe people’s game who like aliens/supernatural sims/grungy textures with or without bright colours as well. Just think would you prefer a bit of a grungy stuff or less-textured but cleaner MM? You always need to think about textures while you download stuff. I can recommend to check out @pooklet or @furbyq-sims
5. Semi
screenshot by @whysim
You might ask me “Why am I not allowed to put a realistic skintone on a maxis sim? What the hell?” Of course, you are! Do it please, if you want. There are no rules, no restrictions. You CAN go semi-realistic, you CAN mix patterns, you CAN mix colours. There’s only one rule: please, enjoy what you do. Don’t be afraid to share your pictures on the Internet. There will always be people who can judje your style and say: “meh, it’s too dull, meh, it’s too bright, meh, too shiny, meh, too plain meh, meh, meh”. Just don’t pay attention and enjoy your game. As for semi-realistic I can recommend such wonderful people as @marvelann @lilith-sims @falkii @knowledgeaspiration
A bit about my style: I’ve always loved cartoonish/bright style. I’ve never ever played with shiny textures. Before Tumblr era I just played either without CC or with a bunch of maxis recolours. How I came up with the idea of cartoonishness? Pretty simple. It’s a part of my personality, I think :) I’ve always loved Disney/Pixar movies. Cartoons just make life a lot funnier! They make me happy. I’m a pre-school teacher after all :D. You can’t imagine how many cartoons I’ve watched throughout my life. I can quote Peppa Pig and will never be tired of that :D Before Tumblr I just played some funny legacies (I’ve never finished any though :D) When I found out about Tumblr, and such great content that can make my game even more Disney looking, it just blew my mind! Every time when I download stuff, I imagine that I’m watching a Disney/Pixar or whatever studio cartoon. When I create sims, I feel like I’m a cartoon designer. Pretty silly, right? :D
Let’s take a look at my screenshots from the past. I tried to find similar ones with a lot of greenery.
2014
2021
I stil like a lot of greenery. Editing has changed, photo angles have changed. But bright colours and Maxis stuff are forever in my heart <3
Risa (2014)
Gage (2021)
As I’m a big cartoon addict, I love recreating game/anime/cartoon characters. No matter, if they’re my favourite or requested ones. I love when my sims have different traits. I love when they’re funny looking/clumsy/absent-minded or when they’re evil/supernatural. When they are pirates/detectives/vampires or witches. This is my way of playing Sims. I love this game as it gives us possibilities to show your creativity, a chance to recreate our favourite characters. A chance to be a writer of storylines or if you’re bad at telling stories, just being “a cartoon designer” like me :)
STEP 2 Colour palettes
If you’ve chosen the path of “bright maxis matchery” than colour palettes are super important! Oh, you can’t imagine how addicted I am to certain colours. I can download GBs because of it.
Here are some of my favourite colour palettes:
1. Anna’s colours
My absolutely favourite palette. I would download absolutely anything in these pretty colours. Just looking at them makes me so cozy *0* There’s a photoshop action for those who want to recolour CC in this palette.
2. Poppet’s colours
I especially like the latest one. So pretty! @poppet-sims is the queen of lovely recolours. She has some more palettes. But “Back to Basics is my favourite”
3. Eversims colours
@eversims has got a lot of pretty colour palettes. But the most iconic one is Ever So Lovely
So, these are the basic colours that I like downloading furniture/clothes with.
There are a couple more pretty palettes that I like:
Huning’s Pony Colours
Back in the days it was my ultimate favourite one. But these days I edit my pictures in Photoshop excessively and prefer calmer colours and add bright layers in photoshop instead.
Nyren’s Kosmic Colours
If you’re more into pastels, than try to download some stuff in this pretty palette.
You might wonder if I use all of these colours. Of course not! I have a selection of colours that I use: apple green, sky blue, yellow, red, pink, orange, purple, teal, mint. I absolutely love combining 2 or 3 of these in my interior shots. I also love choosing my sims’ favourite colours and dressing them/decorating their bedroom in this certain colour(s).
For example, my sim Mia likes apple green/purple and mint.
I think @deedee-sims can relate. While I prefer choosing a favourite colour per sim, she chooses favourite colour for the whole family!
This is a great idea, I think! :)
STEP 4 Bodyshop stuff
Ok, I hope it’s clear that I’m colour palettes addicted, now let’s move onto actual custom content and what I prefer adding to my game. I decided to divide CC by sections. Let’s start with Bodyshop.
4.1 Skintones
Another important thing that you need to choose for yourself. There are tones ofoptions. I’m going to recommend only MM skins as obviously I have no idea which realistic or semi-realistic ones are high quality.
screenshot by @deedee-sims
If you prefer trully maxis skintones, I recommend you to try Leh’s skintones. It’s super close to original ones in terms of shades. Also look at those button noses! These cute noses is the reason why I started using this skin back in 2014. But later I switched to Lilith’s feather as I wanted more variety and those noses there got a lovely shine.
It was my default skin for a lot of years. These days I own every possible skintone by Lilith and various blends by other people.
Lilith’s Alien Flavor
Lilith’s Android Skin Edit
Lilith’s Apple Pie Skinblend v.2
Lilith’s Apple Pie Skinblend
Lilith’s Apple Pie by Kahlena
Lilith’s Feather Skinblend
Lilith’s Feather Skins
Lilith’s Feather by Sim-Strangers
Lilith’s Feathers Colourful by Berrynooboos
Lilith’s Honey Supernatural Custom
Lilith’s Honey with freckles
Lilith’s Honey with no freckles
Lilith’s Honey Unnatural by Berrynooboos
Pixel-danger-sims pastel skins
Here’s a very handy set-up by Vimpse with Lilith’s skins being townified.
Try to choose one set of skins or download all of them by one certain creator. I need a lot of skins because I love creating tones of sims and I want to make them various looking.
4.2 Eyes
♦ Polaroid ♦ - my favourite
♦ Transcendental ♦
♦ Sleeping Lion ♦
♦ Sharp Eyes ♦
♦ Shallowed in the Sea ♦
♦ Hand Outs and Punch Ups ♦
These are just some of my eyes. There are some more by Poppet, by Kahlena. And I have various addons to these sets that I grabbed over and here. I remember having struggles of choosing only one set. But than I thought: why do I have to choose if I like all of them and want my sims to look as different as possible? I just love when they are cartoonish but high-quality with nice white clean sclera. Just look at Disney Rapunzel. You’ll see what I mean ^_^
There’s one little trick that most mm players do for making sims’ eyes bigger and rounder - adding a whiteline eyeliner by jesstheex. I personaly do it for every single sim of mine.
4.3 Makeup
I use tooooons of blushes, lipsticks and eyeshadows. I have everything by Lilith and Jesstheex. And lots of bits and bobs by various creators. I love using both matte or shiny textures. I sometimes add nose shine or use special nosemasks. There are various lovely things in my collection. What I can recommend you is to download a sim that you like by another creator with the help of Sims Clean Installer and just steal makeup from the sim to add to your collection *evil laughter* I recommend to do it because sometimes there are some mouth corners or various eyebags and etc which are difficult to find. It’s easier to grab them together with sims.
For example, I grabbed the shiny nosemasks from one of Lilith’s sims.
Sometimes I like adding a bit of shine on Sims’ noses. Some sims of mine don’t have shine. It really depends on a sim. But what I definitely like is cute button noses! I like using nosemasks to achieve that. I have all the masks by Lilith and these ones by kahlena.
4.4 Hair textures
Another important decision for you is the hair textures. I recommend you to choose one certain retexture. Back in the days, I used to have Remi’s textures
screenshot by @selenaq13
I liked Remi’s ones because they were non-shiny. They had maxis colours and a really cool yellowish blonde!
Receintly I switched to Simgarooped as I’ve always loved that there are 6 naturals. The yellowish blonde is still there! Plus my favourite Deedee-sims keeps updating every week with the retextures of new meshes <3
There are lots of various textures blends. Just search, download, play test. Think, if you’re ready to look at such type of hair hours of simming.
Also try to decide if you’d like to have more natural looking sims or go crazy and have supernatural/aliens. I used to have really bright sims with colourful skins and hairs.
Even my toddlers had unnatural hairs. It’s a lot of fun! But right now I prefer to create more natural looking sims though I like vampires/witches/aliens anyways!
screenshot by @honeylungsims
If you would like to have colourful supernatural sims, check out Honeylung! She has the brightest and most unusual supernatural sims <3
You’ll need a lot of face masks/bright lips/shadows. Check out @berrynooboos for the cutest alien CC.
4.5 Facial hair and Brows
I don’t think they should really match as long as they look great.
For example, I use eyebrows by @suratan-zir which are super cute and high quality but use Poppet’s textures instead of Simgarooped.
As for facial hair, I use some Poppet’s as well.
by Skoogy
by Poppet #1
by Poppet #2
by Simgaroop
4.6 Clothes
As I already mentioned, I love clothes in my favourite palettes. I love Simlish prints. There are so so many creators who share wonderful clothes.
I love @deedee-sims for age conversions, shoeswaps, morphs. I love @mdpthatsme for really cool 4t2 conversions. I love @moocha-muses for colourful T-shirts <3 Don’t be shy to send me a WCIF about a certain item of clothing.
STEP 5 Buy and Build
Tooons of bright recolours, IKEA items, Maxis add-ons, 3t2 and 4t2 conversions - all these things make my heart beat :D
These days I play in a rural-type world. I download a lot of craftsman-style build things, a lot of plants and garden deco.
I love bright wallpapers and greenhouses, I love clutter and kids CC for nurseries. Patterns with polka dots and plumbobs. Sunflowers and tulips. This is what I usually drop into my download folder :)
STEP 6 Taking screenshots
No matter which recolours and textures you prefer, I think high-quality pictures are important. The first thing that you need to playtest for yourself is a camera mod. It’s upo for you, but I can’t live without Gunmod’s Camera Mod. There are some more available, just check out.
Also lighting is important since Maxis original is terrible. I use Dreadpirate’s mod.
I recommend to take screenshots in a camera man mode. Click Tab to enter it. Use W, A,S,D,E buttons to move right/left/up/down etc. And what’s important, use X and Z for zooming in and out. I always use Z for example, when I take close ups of my cats.
Don’t be afraid to experiment with angles. Try some artistic ones.
You can move your camera down and take a screen from below.
Or vice versa from above.
Sometimes I’ll just take a screen of my sims’ hands or feet. It really depends. I love spending hours on just “walking” in a camera mod around my sims houses.
Another useful feature of this mod is to use Ctrl +4,5,6,7,8,9 buttons.
These can fix the angles for you. And after fixing them, when you click on 4,5,6,7,8,9 you camera will go back to those positions. It’s very handy when you want to screen 2 sims who are talking and there’s no need to constatntly move camera from sidde to side. Just fix it and wait for them to perform cute emotions!
As a bonus, you can fic positions in the life mode too. For example, I always choose a proper angle from above where the wgole house can be seen. And wait for something cute/funny/to happen.
Also there’s such a thing as The Rule of Thirds. It’s the rule of photography composition. I always try to follow it :)
STEP 7 Photoshop Editing
I love oversaturated colours. It can be too much for someone’s eyes, but I like the brightness :) I’ll share some good Photoshop resources. Probably, one thing that I can recommend to absolutely everyone no matter how bright you want your screens to be is sharpening! Seems that Tumblr eats our picture quality for breakfast. Sims screenshots seem so blurry to me. I love sharpening them first.
I use sharpening from Kalekaloo’s action.
After sharpening I run the base from Eversims Action and then add some colour layers from Simburgerr’s one (I like gradients and fluffy lights layers especially). It makes the reds colours a little bit too saturated but I think it’s cute!
There are a some more cute actions and PSD files out there:
OhMySims - Action 1
OhMySims - Action 2
Sterina’s Action
Photoshop PSDs by Pleyita
Snapdragoned PSD
Mandragore PSD by Kiinuu
JellyBeanery’s Action
Roguebotanist
Nnilou - 12:51
A generic PSD by Knowledgeaspiration
Colorize IT by Bonnypixels
Colour Crush by Bonnypixels
Just Like Heaven by Pixeldemographics
For more tips/palettes/cute fonts I recommend you to check out @bepixeled
That’s all that came to my mind. I hope at least something was useful!
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Walburga Comes for Dinner (one shot)
Regulus Black AU
Summary: Walburga comes for dinner and sees her children for the first time in a very long time. (goes with the Dinner with the Dursleys and Tuesday night dinner one shot...see below for links)
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader
Rating: T
Dinner with the Dursleys
Tuesday Night Dinners
_______
This will be interesting…
That was the thought that went through your mind when Regulus stepped through the front door after a long day at work. Joanna immediately waddled over to her father, hopping up and down screaming “daddy” until he was able to get his coat off and pay attention to the child.
“Good, Joanna. Get him buttered up.”
You thought as Regulus came into the kitchen snuggling his face against Joanna’s head.
“You look pretty, darling.’’
Regulus commented, looking you over. He was ready for nothing more than a quiet Thursday night. By quiet this meant having dinner, giving Joanna a bath, getting the child in bed without her needing twenty hugs while making Regulus look for a random spider under her bed that she was convinced would eat her toes, and alone time with you. People at the Ministry were driving him batty and Regulus didn’t have the patience for any calamities that night.
“I’m pretty too.”
Joanna said in an extra sassy tone that earned a smile from Regulus.
“Of course you are love. You’re the prettiest little girl ever. Why don’t you go play with your dollhouse?”
Joanna, appeased with Regulus’ comment, didn't fuss when he put her down. She toddled off. Regulus waited until Joanna was quietly amused before wrapping his arms around you.
“Now, as I was saying, you look beyond pretty...absolutely ravishing is more like it.”
You relaxed in Regulus’ arms enjoying the moment of quiet uninterrupted alone time. As much as you didn’t want to, you knew that you had to break the news to him.
“Guess who is coming to dinner?”
“Merlin, I don’t feel like entertaining.”
Regulus groaned. You had expected this reaction. Things were only about to get more interesting.
“It’s your mother.”
Regulus’ mouth dropped. He hadn’t seen his mother in ages. She wasn’t there when Joanna was born or through your pregnancy. Walburga had sworn that she would never speak to Regulus as long as he was married to “that mudblood girl.” Regulus was just fine with his mother’s promise. He had no use for the woman if she was going to insult his wife. All Regulus needed to be happy was Joanna and yourself. Walburga no longer fit into the equation of his life. When Regulus stopped believing in the “Black family way” he realized how messed up everything truly was.
“Why?”
Regulus said, crossing his arms over his chest. You put down the bowl that you were holding. To say that you were looking forward to meeting Walburga was a far stretch. You would much rather it be your mother and father coming for dinner.
“She wants to see you. I suppose she’s feeling guilty about not seeing Joanna yet. Maybe she even feels a bit guilty because she is getting old and has no son to look after her now that your father is dead.”
Regulus mumbled something under his breath before going off to search for the bottle of fire whiskey. He needed some liquid motivation if his mother was going to be stepping foot inside of his home.
“She can go to a home for the elderly. I am not looking after her. I was the good son long enough.”
Regulus commented before smiling coldly.
“Watch this.”
He said before picking up the muggle telephone and calling Sirius. You had picked up your teacup and were keeping an eye on your husband. He was up to something and you had a sneaking suspicion on what he was going to do
“Hey, it's me. Want to come over for dinner?I know you never wait for an invitation. See you at six.”
Regulus hung up the phone before grinning at you.
“He can’t wait to see his mother.”
You shook your head. Now things were about to be a shit show.
An hour later there was a knock at the door. Regulus stood up knowing who that was. Walburga fucking Black was back to ruin his life and cause problems.
“I’ll get it, love.”
He commented before going to the door. Walburga stood on the other side with her usual snobby expression. She forced a smile as she looked at her youngest son. Regulus was handsome and well put together as always.
“Regulus.”
“Mother.”
Regulus kept his tone cold and icy. Walburga expected Regulus’ off-putting and unfriendly attitude. She assumed that he was still angry over her calling you mudblood. In Walburga’s mind, she was correct. Her “darling boy” married a less than desirable woman and this seemed to wedge between the two.
“Come in.”
Regulus said, keeping his eyes locked Walburga’s unfriendly face. He reached out and stopped her before she was able to get too far inside.
“I’m warning you now. If you are the least bit rude to my family, I will not hesitate to throw you out.”
Walburga glared at him. She wanted nothing more than to throw a few nasty mudblood comments out but decided if she didn’t want to die alone it would be in her best interest to be decent.
“I understand.”
Walburga looked around the homey living room. The house was very nice. Clearly, Regulus was doing well for his family.
“Daddy, come play with me.”
Walburga’s head snapped up the moment she heard the little voice that she had been wanting to hear for some time. She would never admit it but she had wanted to see her granddaughter from the time that the birth announcement came in the mail. Walburga had sent Joanna an “add-a-pearl” necklace as a way to say “welcome to the world” and that was that.
Regulus never took the time to send Walburga a photo or anything. Now before her stood the most lovely child that she had ever seen (with the exception of Regulus, of course).
Walburga watched as Regulus bent down to pick the little girl up. Joanna’s raven curls wildly fell down her back as she pressed her face into her father’s cheek. It wasn’t until Joanna pulled away from cuddling Regulus did she notice the new face in the room. She looked at Walburga carefully. Clearly, the little girl was well versed in “not talking to strangers.”
“Joanna, this is your grandma.”
Walbruga forced a small smile as Joanna put her head on Regulus’ shoulder.
She’s shy...just like he used to be.
Watching Regulus with Joanna, made Walburga’s heartache. Had she really lost so much time with her own son? While Walburga had wanted no part of being a mother originally, after losing Sirius then Regulus walking away for a muggle-born she realized how much that she actually loved her children.
“You can sit down, mother. I’m going to check on Y/n.”
Walburga immediately did as her son said as Regulus sat Joanna down.
“Keep grandma company.”
Regulus said softly. Part of him was screaming about leaving his darling baby alone with the hateful old woman but he knew Joanna would cause Walburga more annoyance. That in itself would be amusing enough. Besides, from his place in the kitchen door, Regulus could see the two perfectly.
You had just pulled the ham out of the oven when Regulus stepped into the room.
“Everything okay?”
You questioned. Regulus shrugged.
“She just walked in the door and I already feel like the love has been sucked out of me.”
You put the oven mitts down and wrapped your arms around Regulus’ shoulders. Kissing him softly, you chose to ignore Walburga who was watching the whole thing.
“I’ll suck something else out of you later.”
You said in a low suggestive tone. Regulus slightly blushed to know exactly what you meant and he would argue.
“That sounds tempting. We can throw her out, put the baby in bed, and have all evening alone.”
Before you could respond the back door opened and closed. Sirius stepped into the kitchen and smirked looking at Regulus and yourself.
“It's a wonder I only have one niece. The way you two snog there should be three or four kids running around here.”
Regulus rolled his eyes.
“One is enough. What about your love life?”
Sirius’ amused expression faded.
“Moony can’t get pregnant.”
Regulus put a hand over his face while you quietly laughed.
“How are we related?”
Regulus questioned as Sirius moved to go into the living room to see what his precious little niece was up to. He froze the moment that he saw the biggest demon from hell parked on his little brother’s couch talking to Joanna.
“Oh hell no.”
Sirius snapped before turning to make a line for the door but was stopped when Regulus brought him to the ground.
“If I’m stuck with her then you should be too.”
Sirius fought the urge to scream.
“You’re just evil!”
“Is everything alright in here?”
Both Sirius and Regulus got off of the kitchen floor as Walburga came in. Her cold grey eyes locked on her eldest son. The disappointment returned in full force as she looked between both Sirius and Regulus. While Regulus was dressed in a nice suit, Sirius looked like he had just gotten out of bed in tight clothing that he had worn for a few days.
“Sirius.”
“Walburga.”
Sirius decided not to call her “mum” to antagonize her. Regulus fought the urge to put a hand over his face as he remembered you standing beside him.
“Mum, this is my Y/n.”
Walburga’s vulture-like gaze turned to you.
So this is the girl that stole my baby from me.
Walburga thought before muttering a quiet and unfriendly hello. You only nodded. It was probably best that you kept your mouth shut. You were afraid that you would start going off on the woman for the way that she did both of her sons.
“Uncle Siri!”
Sirius had to tear himself away from watching you plot evilly as Joanna came running to him holding her hands out. He quickly reached down and scooped Joanna up, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
“Jojo, where have you been all of my life?”
“In the living room. Did you bring me my pony?”
Sirius laughed as Regulus immediately started shaking his head.
“Do you want your daddy to kill me?”
“No, daddy wouldn't notice it if you stuck it in the back garden and tied it to a bush.”
Joanna commented, adding a sneaky little blink. Sirius laughed again.
“First things first, sugar, your daddy is standing right over there and can hear. Let's get you ready to eat.”
Dinner started off smoothly. You tried to speak quietly to Walburga but were only getting one or two-word responses. If you needed any more proof that your mother-in-law didn’t like you...this was it. You could feel Regulus tense beside you.
“It's okay, love.”
You whispered quietly as Sirius leaned back in his chair. He gave you an eyebrow wiggle before speaking.
“So, mum, what got you out of the stone-cold manor? Did you get that steak out of your heart finally? You have surely missed a lot of Joanna’s life...although she doesn't look very concerned.”
Joanna was happily ignoring everyone and nibbling on her little plate of noodles. She didn’t seem the least bit concerned with anything that was going on around her.
“That’s very amusing, Sirius. I thought that the two of you should know that I am remarrying.”
Both Regulus and Sirius dropped their forks as your eyes rolled up, clearly shocked.
“Is that supposed to be a joke?”
Regulus questioned. Sirius started laughing so hard that he had to put his head down.
“Is the guy desperate or already on the verge of death? Did you meet him on evil witch weekly’s personal page?”
Walburga frowned. This was clearly not the reaction that she expected. She had planned on Regulus being a little more supportive than her elder son.
“You’re not funny, Sirius. I decided to meet someone who enjoys my company?”
Sirius snorted.
“Does he enjoy you smacking him around or just ignoring him like you did dad?”
Walburga put her fork down.
“Regulus, do you have anything to say?”
Regulus chuckled. This whole situation was completely ludicrous.
“I thought that you only loved yourself.”
Walburga stood up and threw her napkin down on the table.
“I thought that I would get some support from my son. I didn’t come here to be made a fool.”
Walburga turned and stormed from the house without another word. Joanna was the next to speak.
“Granny needs a nap.”
Sirius nodded and stood up to take his plate to the sink.
“Sure does, Jojo, a nice nap in a big wooden box...six feet under. Who wants cake?”
_________
@amelie-black @vixen @fandomsxxregulus @realgaytrash @acciosiriusblack @fific7 @jessyballet @knreidy1 @wolfstar4lifee @saturntomars @sxsalvatore @georgeweasleydumbhoe @zievyimas @buttercup-beeee @justfinishthis @vvipgot7be @whymyparentscheckmyphone @criminalyetminimal @bennyberry @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @siriuslyceleste @dumybitch @quuenofblacks @lucasfilms77 @spiderxalmighty @moonythemilf @fangirlforever2412 @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @moldy-old-boot @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @li0nh34rt @tas898 @deanwherescas @untoldshortsofthefandoms @knight-of-gleefulness @stuckinsaudi1 @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @sprnaturallover @shitfaceddaniel @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner @rubyroscoe1 @hazncalsgal
#Regulus Black#Regulus Black x Reader#Sirius Black#Walburga Black#Remus Lupin#timothee chalamet as regulus black#ben barnes as sirius black#andrew garfield as remus lupin#eva green as Walburga Black#regulus x reader#reader x regulus#hp#hp reader insert#the ancient and noble house of black#regulus arcturus black#sirius orion black#request fic#Walburga Comes for Dinner#one shot#update
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Mr. Mayor: Vlad Masters X NSG Reader
Decided to make it gender neutral despite the request because I love Vlad and I know other boys and enbys do too. Also made the reader Jack Fenton’s sibling because I think there’s a slap in the face situation part 2 later on.
Visiting your brother’s family was always great. Jack rambled on about something ghost related while Jazz caught you up on her academic successes and Maddie told you about the big new events you’d missed since visiting last. Your favorite part of the visit was taking Danny to hang out. Your nephew was your favorite, not that you’d ever say it out loud.
So taking Danny to the Nasty Burger to meet with his friends was right in your wheelhouse. Sam and Tucker seemed like really nice kids. You admired Sam’s taste in the weird things and Tucker’s understandable love for technology. In talking to the kids you remembered what Maddie had told you.
“So, the new mayor, not your favorite person?” You looked around at the high schooler's faces.
“He tried to make us wear school uniforms, started a curfew at four o’clock, and we almost lost the Nasty Burger.” Danny explained.
“Does he have some sort of vendetta against you or something?” You asked as you went to take a bite of a fry.
The teens looked at you skeptically. As if you knew something you weren’t supposed to.
“What?” You looked around. “Am I missing something?”
“He’s just a bad guy, that’s all.” Sam clarified.
“He’s the guy that’s been chasing after Danny’s mom since they were in college, other than that he never seemed that bad.” You set down the fry you were never going to get the chance to eat. “He and Jack always spent summers between semester doing stupid ghost expermments in th attic.”
“So you knew him before…” Danny stopped himself from finishing.
“Before?”
“Before college?” Tucker filled questioningly.
“Yeah, yeah, you knew him from when my dad went to college?”
“Not really.” You answered. “Just caught glimpses of him. I was in high school so I didn’t really pay attention to what Jack did.” You shrugged. “He seemed nice, but he stopped coming over so often for some reason.”
Once again the teens looked at each other as if they knew something special.
“All right, who wants to tell me?” You broke their little staring contest.
“Tell you what?” Tucker spoke in more of a series of squeaks rather than words.
“Yeah, there’s nothing to tell.” Sam covered.
You turned to Danny. “Nephew.”
He gulped and let out a nervous laugh. “It’s like Sam said, he’s just a really bad guy now.”
“Explain.”
The look of a disappointed (Aunt/Uncle/Auncle-This is the most common gender neutral term I’ve found) was something that could move mountains. Danny shifted in his seat clearly trying to come up with a convincing lie.
“Daniel, tell me.” You narrowed your brows and the kid looked white as a ghost.
Hold on, no. His hand was gone. The one that was resting on the table. Gone.
“Is this a ghost thing?” You asked.
Danny looked down at his hand and tried to play it off as if it was just a weird angle. It didn’t work. With all the nervous muttering and poorly formed excuses it was obvious they were lying.
“You’re half ghost?” It was hard to believe, but it was the only thing that the kids didn’t sound like they were lying about.
“Yes, just keep your voice down.” Danny warned. “Vlad is half ghost too, that’s how he became mayor and got all of his money.”
��So he’s bad because he played to his strengths?” You muttered to yourself.
You gathered up the trash around the table.
“Why don’t you introduce me to him, Danny. I’m sure he’s not that bad of a guy.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Sam chimed in.
“I may be related to Jack Fenton, but that doesn’t mean I’m an idiot.” You looked at Danny who seemed to forget that he could do ghostly things and was trying to hide in his shirt. “Come on, Danny.”
Reluctantly Danny left his friends to introduce you to his arch nemesis. A fourteen year old with an arch nemesis and it had to be your nephew. Town hall was busy, but that’s what town halls are like. Danny helped you walk through a few walls until you were outside of Vlad’s office. The fact that your nephew could just walk through walls was going to take some getting used to. Danny opened the door to see a rather handsome man sitting at a large desk with a fluffy white cat in his lap. He looked up at the sound of the door clicking open.
“Why Daniel, to what do I owe the pleasure?” His voice had a calming effect.
“My (Aunt/Uncle/Auncle) wanted to meet you.” Danny seemed tense in the way he spoke. “I’ll be at home.’ He muttered to you before leaving the room.
You closed the door as he left.
“Good to meet you Mr. Masters, I’m (Y/n), Jack’s (Brother/Sister/Sibling).”
“Oh, yes, I remember seeing you around.” Vlad recalled. “Please sit.”
You did so, taking the seat across from him.
“I wanted to meet you because I’d always been a fan of your work.”
“Oh, thank you, it's always nice to meet a fan.”
“And because I never got the chance to really meet you when you and Jack were friends.”
“I must say, I do regret not meeting you sooner.” Vlad leaned forward and rested his chin in his hands. The cat scurried away to a small tower by the window.
“Why did you and Jack stop talking?” You asked.
“Oh, college passed and we went separate ways.” He waved off the issues.
“That’s it?”
“Well, I used to have a bit of jealousy toward he and Maddie, but I feel it passing more and more with each word.”
“Each what?”
“Each day.” Vlad corrected himself.
“Right…” Your eyes wandered to the framed Packers jersey on his wall. “You’re a Packers fan?”
“Why yes.” Vlad smiled fondly at the jersey. “I’ve tried to buy the team itself, but no luck.”
“I’ve always been a bit of a fan, and I love the jersey.” You complemented.
“Say, would you like to accompany me to a game this season?”
You blushed red. A very attractive man just asked you to go to your favorite team's game.
“I, uh, I’d love to.”
“I have my own box, bottle service and all of the perks.” He bragged. “Afterall someone with your looks deserves nothing less.”
You let out a nervous half laugh. “Thank you, Mr. Masters.”
“Oh, please, Vlad.” He insisted.
“Right, Vlad.”
The name rolled off your tongue in such a pleasant way. Jack might kill you for this, but come on.
“If you’d like we go for dinner tonight as well.” Vlad offered.
“Sure.” You answered right away.
After having to interrogate Danny and his friends you realized you never really got to eat.
“Shall we then?” Vlad waited by you with his arm out to take.
You walked with him to a limo reserved just for the mayor. He sat next to you and gave great conversation. You discussed the Packers, politics of Amity Park, and personal preferences. Dinner was much of the same, but with more food. Vlad wasn’t like Danny had said. He was a gentleman. He may have acquired his money by not-so-legal means, but he was a nice guy.
The ride home was more conversation. Vlad bought the ticket to the game he’d promised and inquired about why you were in Amity Park.
“It was just time to visit, catch up with Jazz and Danny.” You explained. “I try to tune out Jack, he calls every week or so anyway.”
“And how long will you be staying in our fair city?”
“Around a week.”
“And I couldn’t persuade you to stay any longer?” Vlad offered.
“I, uh, I don’t know.” You thought. “Maybe.”
“There is a position open at city hall if it interests you.” He met your eyes. “I’d be happy to pull some string to keep you around.”
“I wouldn’t mind that.” You nodded along.
You hadn’t noticed how close the two of you were. Until Vlad’s hand was already cupping your cheek. He gave you a moment to react before he leaned in and pressed your lips together. It was a sweet kiss, timid. As if he hadn’t done it in a long time.
You scooted closer to him on the seat and wrapped your arms around him, one of your hands finding his pony tail to play with. Vlad rested his other hand on your side and pulled you a bit closer. You pressed further and intensified the kiss. Vlad obliged and kept the pace, kissing you with as much passion.
The car came to a stop and made you both separate. Time was cut short.
“I suppose I’ll see you soon?”
“Of course.”
“Lunch tomorrow?”
“I’d love to.”
Vlad opened the door for you to step out and gave you one last smile before the car drove away. You were definitely going to see him again.
#Danny Phantom#vlad plasmius#Vlad Masters#vlad masters x reader#vlad masters x male reader#vlad masters x female reader#x reader#x male reader#x gender neutral reader#vlad masters x gender neutral reader
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Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-Yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 1
It’s been a while since I visited the many times Yugi should have gone to jail, AKA season Zero, and I’m excited to visit it again.
If you just got here, this is Season Zero, which is very different vibe and a different direction plotwise than the other seasons and you can read the season zero recaps from the start in chrono order here: https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi%20muto/chrono
So be warned, this is a 90′s anime, and it will do 90′s anime things, and I expect y’all reading this aren’t like 12.
Like I said in an earlier post, I wrote this out fully when I was going through the symptoms from my second dose--which PS, is worth it--but those symptoms knocked me out for 10 days. I was kind of a space cadet, and yo, I made some mistakes. Including writing this post out in full and then not clicking “save” on this post and then not realizing I had done that until several days later.
So long story short, I don’t remember what I originally wrote here, but lets all assume it was weird, and didn’t make sense and wasn’t funny. We’ll just assume this was for the best that it was deleted forever.
So this episode is about 2 things: Yo-yos and Jounouchi. Both get used as a tool for violence, and both need to get just a little bit cursed by Yugi to scale it the hell back. So, understandably, we start off this episode with Jounouchi, who has eagerly identified with this off brand yo-yo he apparently got out of a dumpster for being just a huge ass defect.
(more Yo-Yo crimes under the cut)
I see you dodging copyright infringement, Yugioh. Eireboy.
Also whenever I read “Eireboy” I do it in my mind in the same pacing and vocal tones that Pegasus uses to say “Kaiba boy.” Something about it’s conjunction to Yugioh, I see anything with “boy” at the end of it, and it’s voiced by a weird guy with one eye.
So I wrote these caps under the influence of my second dose, just assuming y’all understand the life I lived, but I realized writing this episode...traveling bands of yo-yo performers that go to your school and shill yo-yos with yo-yo shows in the hopes that it will get you so obsessed with yo-yos that you will not join a gang and do drugs and have sex may be just an American thing.
So when I saw a yo-yo episode I was like “Tight! Clearly, the yo-yo clowns have come to town!” and I assumed everyone in this class would be draped in yo-yos, because I just assumed that at some point at School you will get MAD OBSESSED with yo-yos for about 2 weeks.
But in this episode, everyone was like “Jounouchi, why are you playing with a random yo-yo?” and it didn’t occur to me until typing this out just now: only Jounouchi is doing this. He did this unprompted, without the encouragement of a bunch of middle aged performers doing tricks to techno music.
So instead, I have to think of Jounouchi as Ralphie in this scenario, and he just got a official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time for Christmas, but he’s gonna shoot his eye out.
Because yo-yos in this episode are basically guns.
...Kind of like a duel deck was also just a gun...
...or the wands in Harry Potter...
...which honestly...I’ve probably said this before but where I’m from, we just use straight up guns in these elaborate analogies because we freakin have to make the point crystal clear. The moment Ralphie finally got his hands on a bb-gun, he very nearly shot his eye out and broke his glasses. And that scene will haunt me until my dying day...
...but fine, we can use yo-yos, I guess it works, although to me, yo-yo’s are just teachers hoping you’ll become such a dork that no gang will accept you (and then in this universe, it does the opposite? So freakin weird).
The beginning of this episode is Jounouchi trying do his best to impress with his skills, but in actuality, getting very close to clubbing Anzu with a yo-yo. And, while Anzu is the strongest person in Yugioh in the later seasons, I feel like Season Zero Anzu is another level. It’s a serious tempt of fate that Jounouchi is doing, so Honda wisely cuts him off from doing any more of that so she won’t end up strangling yet another person in broad daylight in the middle of school.
Remember your yo-yo safety, children.
Straight up, Honda’s version of yo-yo safety is to just Never Use a Yo-Yo and that’s the most gun safety thing ever that they’ve slipped into this Yugioh Episode. I almost expected Yuugi to pull a “well, actually, I use a hunting yo-yo to get enough venison to feed my family.” But youknow, he lives in a city, so while Yugioh is pretty weird and Yuugi has to worry about a lot of things--he doesn’t have to worry about that.
This is actually foreshadowing, which I only realized in hind sight, mostly because I just can’t associate a Yo-yo with crime. Joey knowing how to use a yo-yo was foreshadowing that he was absolutely part of this gang in a past life.
Yeah that one went completely over my head the first time and the second time and it really wasn’t until just now that I finally caught it. Hoo boy, sometimes I wonder why y’all let me analyze this show.
Jounouchi decides to confront the yo-yo bandits and everyone else is like “Silly Jounouchi, he’s not gonna do that. That would be stupid.” And...in S0, they don’t know him well enough yet to know that he really is that much of a well meaning dumbass.
I think a S1-5 Yugi would have been sprinting out the door to keep Joey from killing himself (again), but Season Zero Yuugi had hope that Jounouchi would just naturally tucker out and fall asleep or something.
And he was so wrong.
Anzu’s “New Tricks” line was from the dub itself and man that’s a good line. I love Anzu’s sass in Zero.
So, Honda decides to help them find Jounouchi so all of them together could give Jounouchi an intervention for skipping school. This is the same Honda that once skipped school to babysit a tomagachi and said it was because of “Maternity leave,” but don’t worry about the hypocrisy, because from this episode we learned that Jounouchi needs a very short leash.
So this episode is a great Jounouchi episode to explain stuff that still hasn’t been explained in 5 seasons of Yugioh. In S1-5, we don’t get much about his home life other than his Mom left and his Sister lives far away and is like sickly as hell. We know nothing else. But this is the episode where we finally get to find out why Yuugi and his Grandfather decided to basically adopt him from S1 onward.
Yugioh is tackling some pretty heavy territory, but I respect the show for not trying to magically change Jounouchi’s parents like they did to Dartz. Instead, the crew decide to reach out and try to find their friend who clearly didn’t go home last night (and won’t be going back for a while), by checking every alleyway in Domino.
Fun fact Yuugi drops this episode, Domino is one of the biggest cities on Earth. This makes the Battle City Tournament even more crazy when you realize Kaiba shut down several blocks but, it also makes a tiny bit more sense how we have so many Millennium items in one place. (Yet...it still doesn’t explain Bakura and Joey’s accent.) And, I guess if your city is just extra large, you get an extra large warehouse district, too.
Speaking of, they eventually find Jounouchi at his new (but also old) crime antics mugging some random stranger next to this Game store that I just realized was cropped so it looks like it says “GANG.”
Say hello to our crime clown. He’s sort of like a discount joker, and that beanie is...man it is green.
I forget this green exists sometimes, but Season Zero has it as one of their prime colors. Good ol’ Retro Kaiba green.
I’m a little tempted to swatch Season Zero a bit and figure out their full color scheme--it’s really saturated, which is interesting when you compare it to the later seasons which are a lot more muted since...the 00′s were like that, they greyed a lot of colors out. But I’ll do it later if I do, maybe another post for another day.
Jounouchi and Honda, before they moved to the school with Yuugi in it, used to go to the same school and up until now I just assumed they were close friends. But apparently they were a lot more distant than that. I’m sure they met up several times as Jounouchi destroyed stuff and Honda came along in his volunteer janitor outfit to put the stuff the hell back, and maybe that’s how they got to know eachother better?
But basically, Jounouchi was the freakin worst, and Jounouchi’s best friend was Hirotani--this 45 year old 15 year old with the blue pony and turquoise fade--and Honda has SO MUCH hot goss to say about it.
I really get the gist that Honda may not have liked anyone else at his old school, like at all. Like maybe Honda likes cleaning up trash so much because his school was just trash top to bottom.
As is tradition, Yuugi got his tar beat in by Hirotani. Another concussion to add to his list of issues to tell his future therapist that lives in that puzzle he wears around his neck.
I still expect him to do a double cross, but it seems they wanted to keep it a relatable and more realistic fall-out, where Jounouchi has just bounced on them without even a goodbye. He and his Dad had a bad fight, and Jounouchi was like “well so long to all of this and everyone that has anything to do with it.”
In later seasons, Joey is the one trying to save other people. He’s saving his Sister, he’s saving Mai, he’s saving Yugi, but in this season Jounouchi’s friends had to save Jounouchi from himself a few times now.
I like this depth to his character, I’ll be honest. I can understand why S1-5 don’t touch on it, and I don’t think it’s because they didn’t want to have an abusive Dad storyline, because they did that several times over with Seto Kaiba (man the Dad situation in Yugioh is DIRE.) Instead they probably just felt like Season Zero already did it, so why do it again?
It’s just a shame that it wasn’t talked about in the other seasons. Joey makes a lot more sense to me now because we get to see why Jounouchi is so hard set on saving people. S4 Mai Valentine, who ditched everyone and joined a gang? That’s basically a Joey move, and that was why Joey Wheeler was all over that.
Really would have added a lot to that particular arc if the show...actually talked about Joey’s history at all rather than assume I would have watched something that was never released in the States. Instead...it just looked a lot like he had only romantic motivations, which may not have been what they were going for.
Speaking of romantic, check out this sunset. Like the sun is exploding for some reason--just a wild sunset you only see for a still frame before a commercial break.
As Joey, youknow, takes on an entire rival gang single-handedly.
Hey guys, I lived near a pretty big city most of my life and I have been on a roof...once. Just the one time when I was doing an internship in SF with a painter and we needed to take a reference photo of his painting for a gallery (and it was hella sketch, and we weren’t exactly allowed up there). Who are all these people giving teens Roof Access? It’s so hard to get! Even if you live in an apartment of a tall building, I can count on zero of my fingers the amount of times I was allowed on that roof. But TV shows and movies--they freakin love roof gardens and roof hangouts and roof fights.
Am I missing out?? How did y’all get on the ROOF? I know I’m on S5 of Yugioh now and I have seen a lot of roof stuff, but like...is this normal for everyone else? I know there’s schools that have roof sport--that’s common in the city everywhere--but that’s like...specialized roofs with 30 ft chainlink fencing and really good supports to your body doesn’t fall straight through it when you jump too much. The hell is using their normal ass roof?
This gang should have their legs swinging halfway into the floor below them, is all I’m saying, if my roof couldn’t handle our solar heating, then a normal ass roof cannot support a gang fight.
But it does look really, really cool.
Anyway, Anzu does some offscreen snooping and finds out where the crime hangs out, and suggests that we step right into crime zone and just yank Jounouchi out of there. Which is something you would only do and say if you were Anzu and cannot fear death.
If it were Jay’s it would be with an ‘s. That’s how you do a plural Jay. But it’s the 90′s, so we put a “z” on the end of everything that should have been an “s” and that’s how you get the...
I mean, thank you, dubbers, for not saying “Jizz” but for reals...that be Jizz.
Please don’t flag me, Tumblr. (which, PS, I think they turned off the flagbot, Tumblr hasn’t flagged me in forever and I’m so thankful. Mods are asleep, we can talk about anime again)
So even though Honda decided that he was fed up with Jounouchi and didn’t want to save his ass, he decided to give it another go but complete with some new sash. He also did this without telling any of the others, who just kinda spectated him for a little while.
Honestly, if they weren’t laughing at him, I wouldn’t have known that this sash was any weirder than any of his other sashes. I don’t know really know what a school uniform should look like. It’s a shame, I feel like this series has a lot of jokes and puns probably soaring right over my head.
A little bit embarrased he was caught being vulnerable, Honda decides to give us a little more context to why he ever decided to give Jounouchi the time of day in the first place.
They had PE class once, and Honda apparently loves the hell out of PE. Jounouchi ran really fast in a straight line that one time, and that is why he’s trustworthy friend material. He just needs to stop joining gangs, and he’ll be solid.
I have no idea if the fandub put that in there or if that was native to the show, but Miho legit stans Honda/Jounouchi and acts as if she’s off to write some fanfiction about it. Honestly if she did, it would make her so much more interesting of a character.
And so, until next time, we shall have to wait and see exactly what Yami Yuugi is going to do with a freakin Yo-yo and I’m sure it’s all sorts of real effed up. Excited to get there, honestly. A shame it had to happen on the part that isn’t dubbed yet, but I’ve done these subbed before, it’ll be fine!
#Season Zero#Yuugi Muto#Jounouchi#Honda#Anzu#yo-yo#Jounouchi joins a gang#Gotta go save Jounouchi's ass I guess#Miho#she was here too I guess#Just a great Jounouchi episode for the Jounouchi stans out there
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Love Song
Part 16
Catch up!
In which one of them says the “L” word.
TW: Hi, this chapter contains references to DV. If you don’t feel like reading it, that's fine, your wellbeing is a priority. However, if you would like to read some of this new chapter, you can skip it, as references are only made in the first part directly under the “read more”, which is marked with a ++++ for you. Once that bracket ends, it is TW-free.
****
Are Harry Styles and Sofia Welsh a thing?
Surely, you must be asking this yourself…
++++
Harry was still asleep when I woke up. He was sleeping on his belly, with his back turned to me, and I scooted closer to him, brushing my fingers over the light red marks I had left on his skin. So, last night had happened, and those marks were there to prove it.
I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling, trying to come up with all of the ways I was different that morning. We had sex, which was new, and then took a shower together and fell asleep in the middle of kisses and giddy laughs, which wasn’t so new. My body was the same, except for the slight pain on one side of my hips, and the ticklish memory of Harry’s lips on my skin. My mind was fluttery and anxious, but that wasn’t Harry’s fault.
It was mine.
One thing was different: Harry knew.
What had happened last night? I was desperate for Harry to stay. I felt like my heart would break irreparably if he walked away. A desperate, exaggerated feeling, no doubt, but it felt so real at that moment, so overwhelmingly true, that nothing else mattered. So I told him about my mom and my aunt, about my family. I had told him I needed a hiding place…
What comes next?
Harry rustled in his sleep and I found myself holding my breath before I could even realize, watching as he turned to lie on his back. It seemed like he was going to wake up at any minute now, and I still hadn’t chosen the feeling I should focus on.
On one hand, I felt excited and giddy, the memory of the previous night vividly replaying in my mind. Last night, he was mine, he had stayed and I had slept in his arms; I also felt guilty and ashamed, tied up to a story I hadn’t chosen for myself.
If I closed my eyes, I could see him, moving in all of his fury. I could hear the screams and the lies. I could never shake away the feeling that it was all my fault. I should have done something earlier.
“Fuck,” I moaned, already feeling the ghosts as they circled me. I could see him, blazing up like a pure fire that wanted to burn everything that it could find. I could see her, making herself small, waiting for whatever was coming her way. Neither of them could see me.
“Sof?” I heard Harry’s voice, but it sounded far away, more like a whisper making its way through a tangle of darkness. If I searched for it, if I reached for it…Harry looped one arm around my waist, and he must have thought that I was having a nightmare, cause he let his body wrap around mine to keep me warm and close. Safe. “It’s ok,” he whispered and I could hear his voice clearer now, even if it was sleepy. “I’m here, baby.”
I think he did it out of reflex, because his eyelids were still heavy with sleep, struggling to open, even when it was still dark around us. I quickly turned around, burying my face onto the crook of his neck and smiling when his hug became tighter and his fingers tangled in my knotty hair.
He still smelled fresh from the shower and his skin was cold to the touch, so I sighed as I kissed his shoulder and neck, and I felt comfort when his lips met mine in a lazy, soft kiss.
“Were you having a bad dream?” He asked, once sleep had faded away. I could see the outline of his face and could feel the touch of his fingers as he brushed them up my waist and to my back. It was soothing, but the ache was still there, bringing me down and suffocating me.
“No,” I said with a raspy voice that I could barely recognize as mine. I cleared my throat and blinked away the tears that were brimming my eyes so he wouldn’t notice them. “I was awake. Sorry for waking you up.”
“It’s ok.” I could hear the smile in his voice, which was tinted with a sweet hint that settled underneath my skin and made me feel warm, my own heart forgetting about rhythm and beating. “Are you ok?”
“Now that you’re awake, I am.”
“Good, baby. I’m here for you,” Harry whispered. He brushed his lips over my forehead and pressed a soft kiss there, one that told me more than words could. “Wanna tell me what happened? You were so tense.”
“H..." I hesitated. How did I explain it to him? How did I tell him what I had done? That I didn't regret it? “Do you really want to know?” I asked him. I pushed myself away from him, rolling away from his arms to sit on the bed. He did the same, sitting by my side as he propped himself up on the pillows. This wasn’t how I imagined the morning after, and I bet it wasn’t like he had imagined it either.
“Yes!” He said, which was exactly the answer I was dreading. “You don’t have to, Sof, but you can always tell me if something’s upsetting you.”
“I...I didn’t want you to go yesterday. I wanted you to stay,” I said, trying to earn myself some time to articulate my thoughts. “So I told you some things that I’ve never said to anyone before. And I’m feeling guilty and afraid of what you might think.”
“Ok,” he said, which was not nearly enough, but it prompted me to continue.
“And I feel the desperate need to tell you that my dad wasn’t always bad, that I had a pony, and on Fridays, I could eat way too much sugar. I don’t want you to think…” I stopped because I needed to gulp back my tears. My mom and I, we’re strong people.”
“I know.”
“And I don’t want you to think any different about me.”
“Why would I, Sof?” Why would he? Because I kept telling myself that I did what I had to do, but I’m lying. At that moment, all I felt was rage, not survival. I wanted to hurt him, make him suffer for what he had done, even if just a bit. I wanted to kill him. But I didn’t. “C’mere,” Harry said, and his fingers found mine and squeezed them lightly as he laced them together. So I obeyed and breathed him in as he pulled me into a tight hug. “You’re safe, I promise.”
“I know.”
“Good,” he breathed and his body noticeably relaxed, even though I don’t think either of us even had realized he was holding his breath in.
If anything, it made the butterflies in my tummy rise and flutter.
****
Kacey Musgraves and Harry Styles reunited yesterday, on the last date of her Oh, What a World: Tour II, to sing “Space Cowboy” from her hit album Golden Hour. The heartfelt performance was received with cheers from the audience. At the end of the song, Styles praised her former tour partner, calling her one of his favorites. It was a breathtaking moment.
Eagle-eyed fans, however, also noticed a special guest that was not announced, and that tried to blend in with the crowd: Styles’ on-and-off rumored girlfriend Sofia Welsh-De la Rosa was seen in the crowd during the duet performance, along with her agent and some friends. Does this mean a confirmation of the romance? Not quite, as she stayed to enjoy the concert even after he left the stage and was nowhere to be seen during the closing party. Was it just a coincidence? Is Welsh a stalker? Fans have been weighing in on Twitter, but the question remains: If Sofia Welsh gets ghosted, what hope do I have? Below you’ll find some of the most relatable comments…
****
It all started innocently, sitting next to him on the couch to cuddle while he reviewed the plan for his next single. It was all laid out in an e-mail, with wardrobe ideas and stage mockups. A glimpse of his screen was enough to catch my attention, as I saw what looked like a fisherman island and a couple of lively-looking fishes.
“What’s the song about?” I asked him, peering up at him as my head rested on his shoulder. I had to ask, there were fish involved!
“Well...you. It’s about you.” Harry smiled and I saw him blush a little while he avoided looking me in the eyes.
“No, really, tell me!”
“It’s about you, Sof. What makes you think I’m joking?”
“Why would you write a song about me? Is it about how annoying I am?” I grinned and I propped myself up with one hand, so I could look him in the eyes while we talked. It was funny, ‘cause I knew about the song, he had told me the night of our date, which seemed like ages ago. But now, my brain was going into overdrive, and I stared at him as he leaned closer and let his lips brush over a kiss over my forehead.
“It’s about how much I like you,” he said, and this time, he met my eyes while I stared at him stupidly.
“Is that the surprise you told me about? I would’ve thought you had pulled it from the album after everything that’s happened these last few weeks.”
“I did try, but Jeff told me to go fuck myself.” I didn’t know if he was joking. The quick smile on his lips disappeared as Harry looked at me. “And I wrote them for you, it’s only fair you get to listen to them.”
“Can I? Listen to it, I mean...”
“As long as you don’t tell Jeff to pull it from the album, I think we can do that.”
“I promise I won’t.”
The few seconds he took to look for the song seemed like an eternity, that I spent with my heart pounding in my ears and my eyes fixed on his phone screen. There were tons of songs there, and while some had a proper title, most were named with just a word or a date. I watched him go to a list called FL, and there, he scrolled down to the bottom, before pressing play on a song named “Adore You”.
As the first few notes started to play, I went quiet and let Harry pull me into a cuddle. Once again, I was lying next to him, with my head resting on his chest, and I could feel the steadiness of his heart, and the warm touch of his fingers as they pressed to my waist.
“Walk in your rainbow paradise…”
His voice was rich and soothing and it made my heartache in a way I didn’t know it was capable of. I listened to it, focusing on the words and the melody. I wanted to decipher every bit of it, every intention, every hint, tear it apart, and build it up again second by second.
Harry was smiling when I looked at him, almost shyly and apologetically, like telling me how sorry he was for putting me in the spotlight.
But I loved it.
“Play it again”, I whispered when the song came to an end, as I looked up at him. Harry smiled in satisfaction, a little cocky grin, as he put the song on repeat. He then shifted on the couch, sitting up so I could straddle him. His hands went to my back and held my waist as mine looped around his shoulders.
“Did you like it?” Harry managed to ask between my kisses, lips pressing softly to his own, his cheek, his jaw, his nose.
“I did. I loved it,” I giggled as I looked for his neck to kiss him there. I wondered how many times we would listen to the song before I was satisfied. Many, I had to guess.
“Good…” Harry smiled and broke the kiss apart to look at me in the eyes. “I love you, Sof.”
I froze, stopping my frantic mission to kiss every available inch of his body, and I slowly brought my hands to my lap, as I looked at him, forgetting how to breathe.
“You don’t have to say it back,” Harry breathed with a light laugh. “I know you have feelings for Sam, so it’s ok if you have to think about it. I just wanted to let you know… I’m yours if you want me, Sof....and even if you don’t.”
“What…” I started, but words kept failing to form in my lips, just as much as they failed to organize coherently in my brain. There was so much I wanted to say, many things I could tell him, but instead, I pressed myself to him, hugging him tight to my body until our breaths mixed, and it wasn’t too clear whose heartbeat was louder.
“It’s ok. It’s ok, Sof, you don’t have to say anything,” Harry whispered reassuringly, so I did the only thing I knew I could do, I kissed him.
Right then, it was easy to see how everything had changed from the night before, or even a few minutes ago. Now his touch felt different, filled with the memories of the night before. He knew my body better than I did. It was his to explore, to taste, and touch, and he did so. Everything, including the kiss, was slow but intense, soft and sweet but so fucking hungry.
“I love you, Sof.” I kept replaying it in my mind, with all of its letters, one by one. Like a gospel, a moment of prayer to calm the soul.
Harry made his way down to my collarbones, and he trailed his kisses down to the valley of my chest, where he stopped, and let his fingers curl around the cups of my bra to push it down. The warmth on his breath rose goosebumps all over my skin and I moaned quietly as he wrapped his lips around my nipple and sucked on it. It felt so good, but still, anticipation was boiling in my tummy, demanding more. I wanted to feel his tongue, his warm breath, the drowned moans. I wanted them to echo down my body until I had no more choice but to cry out in pleasure. It was a delicious, bubbly feeling that clouded my mind, only leaving space for Harry.
I was so sensitive, all raw skin and prickly nerves, the slightest touch sent a shiver up my spine and made me arch my back and moan.
I was too aware of the light touch of his hand brushing down my stomach and sliding underneath my panties. I could see a flash of a smile before he went to pay attention to my other nipple, sucking harder on it as he grazed his finger around my clit.
“Fuck,” I moaned, trying to relax as the sharp pain of my soreness took over my senses for just a second. But it didn’t escape Harry, who stopped right away to look at me with a worried glint in his eyes.
“Are you sore, Sof?” He asked, and to my despair he pulled his hand away, placing it on my leg instead with a light squeeze.
“A bit,” I said, almost apologetically. “But we can still do it.”
“It’s ok,” Harry smiled. “There’s no rush. We can just kiss.”
“We’re going back to L.A. tomorrow, and you’ll be off to London by the end of the week, so at least I’m in a rush. I’ve already wasted a lot of time.”
“So, what are you suggesting? That we should fuck non-stop now?”
“Yes!!” I laughed. “You should fuck me.”
“I want you to enjoy it,” Harry said and he hugged me closer to his chest. The sentiment was appreciated and I had no doubt he actually meant it, but that didn’t mean I had to make it easy for him. His tummy tightened as my fingers brushed over his tanned skin, the slight swell of his pecs, the muscles on his abs, and a low moan escaped his reluctant lips as I shifted on his lap, and rolled my hips for him. He was getting hard, maybe because of all of the feverish kisses we had shared, and I felt the sharp bite of his nails as they dug on the round of my ass. “So it feels good for you. It kinda hurts my ego if you don’t.” he smiled. His hands pressed tightly to my hips, stopping me from making any movement. “And I owe you one from last night.”
“I enjoyed last night, it was perfect.”
“Really?” Harry asked, his smiling lighting up his cute face when he looked at me. “I always thought our first time was gonna be fucking special, like a hotel in Paris looking at the tower, or something like that.”
“You thought about our first time?”
“I did, it got me through the nights,” he said. His touch had no urgency other than to feel me close and feel the warmth of my skin under the tips of his fingers.
“Good to know I’m on your mind, then.”
“All the fucking time, didn’t you listen to the song?”
So engulfed we were in each other that we had missed the sound of the door opening or that of the soft steps that followed it.
“H, why did you change rooms? Listen, man, if I have to listen to Diana nag me because of you...oh, fuck! I’m sorry,” a male voice exclaimed, going from very confused and slightly annoyed to sincerely apologetic. I scrambled to the couch to cover myself with the pillows, while Harry remained seated, calmly looking at his friend.
Jeff was holding what seemed like a bakery paper bag, and 4 tall coffees. He set them down on the little table in front of the couch and cleared his throat while he clearly avoided looking at me. Without saying a word, Harry stood up and walked to the room, and came back after he had dressed, and holding a shirt he offered to me. It only took him seconds, but it felt like an eternity, and Jeff and I were awkward enough to make it evident.
“I thought you had left for L.A., Sof. Diana told me you did,” Jeff said, now that I had put on the shirt, and he was free to look at me. He sat down on one corner of the couch and picked up Harry’s phone to stop the music. The room felt too silent without it.
“I decided not to go.”
“Good,” he smiled. Both of us were looking at Harry, as he smiled at me. He was our only connection, after all, and I had a nagging feeling that Jeff did not like me all that much. “Does Diana know?”
“That I stayed?”
“With Harry, yeah,” Jeff pressed.
“I haven’t told her, no.”
“Ok, we might want to do that,” he smiled too kindly. I would have felt overwhelmed by the, how does the song go? Oh, yes, bad moon a-rising feeling of his words, but at that moment, Jeff leaned over the table and started fixing breakfast in front of us: buttery and flaky croissants, little pastries filled with chocolate and raspberries, cinnamon swirls and avocado and eggs toast. The sugary and buttery smell took over my well-intentioned anxiety. It kept me on top of things most of the time, never too surprised when things went wrong.
“How many people did you invite for breakfast?” I asked him.
“Well, Diana is coming. Yesterday she told me you were leaving and that you guys were probably moving on, so I told her to meet me this morning.”
“Moving on from what?” Harry asked his friend as he picked two croissants and offered me one. Mine had red stripes, so I guessed it must’ve had some kind of strawberry or raspberry filling. He picked a chocolate one for himself and set it apart on the table, grabbing a cup of coffee first.
“I’m gonna take a wild guess, and say you, they’re moving on from you.”
The croissant was still warm and I held it in my hand like it was a war grenade, ready to blow off. Could I eat it? The short answer was no. The long answer was more complicated than that, but it also ended in a no. My tummy grumbled, it had been long since the last time I had really eaten or felt hungry, so it took me a couple of seconds to realize what was going on around me, like the fact that both Harry and Jeff were looking at me as if I was fucking crazy. Perhaps I was.
“Are you having a meltdown over a croissant?” Harry asked, and the mocking hint that laced in his voice stung. Oh, he didn’t understand.
“I’m on a diet, and I need to be because otherwise, they might not give me the role.”
“They already did, that’s why you’re training like a crazy person.”
“They can still say that I don’t look good in a latex suit, because who fucking does? And take the role away from me,” I tried explaining, as I leaned over the table to put the croissant down and pick a black coffee.
“They won’t,” Harry said as he picked it up back again and offered it to me. “I promise. You’re the queen right now, and everyone’s in love with you. And if they choose to take the role away from you, they’re assholes anyway,” he continued, with a sweet smile on his face. I took the napkin and leaned back on the couch as I took a bite out of the croissant.
“Good,” Jeff exclaimed, reminding us that we were not alone in the room. “Now, do we talk about Sofia wanting to move on, or do we just ignore it?”
“I, uh, I don’t want to move on.”
“Ok, so I’ll talk to Diana,” Jeff nodded. “I’ll do it soon, so you guys don’t have time to change your fucking minds.”
“Thanks, Jeff,” I smiled at him. He didn’t like me, oh, not at all, but he wasn’t doing it for me. So he shrugged, and took a pastry for himself, to eat it with his coffee.
Maybe we had said Diana’s name too many times, because there she was, closing the door behind her. She couldn’t see me, but I saw her, with her green dress with white flowers on. She was holding a plastic bowl of fruit and a holder with 3 tall coffees and she walked into the room and towards us without noticing me. When she did, a frown etched between her brows, and her eyes danced from Harry to me.
“You didn’t leave. Good, we need to talk.” Diana said as if nothing could surprise her anymore. She walked to me and picked up the piece of croissants I had left in my hands and put them down on the table, before she sat down next to Jeff, with a bright, satisfied smile on her face. “You can’t eat that. Actually, we might need to go even more strict. Dior wants you for their new campaign and Rihanna is wondering if you’d like to model some underwear. I said yes to both.” She waited for the ovation. I could see that she was holding herself from clapping in excitement. But we all remained silent, and she slowly calmed herself down, looking at me as if I was the one that didn’t understand, which was a fair assumption; I didn’t understand.
“It means people know you can sell, Sof. We can ask for more money. We can ask you to be one of the top earners in the Marvel Universe. The top earner in every other movie you make,” she said, giddily. “Now, Dior wants you to shoot their campaign with one of their most iconic dresses. It’s a size zero, and they’ll stretch it to a size two, a tight one. So, we need to cut down a bit.”
A bit.
“Why don’t they just stretch it a little more?” Harry asked.
“Because it’s an iconic dress, I just said it, Harry,” Diana snapped.
“That’s bullshit, Diana,” Harry said, and even though he was smiling, there was a hint of anger in his voice. He was annoyed and he didn’t feel like hiding it.
“Oh, you think you know what us women…”
I couldn’t take it. I knew I should have said something, perhaps side with Harry and tell Diana that I wasn’t interested, but it was all too much. So I did what I know how to do best: I got up and left, walking to my room to hide from both of them and closing the door behind me. I sat on the corner of the bed and let out a shaky sigh. I wasn’t alone for too long. Harry entered the room and he cautiously walked to me and sat down by my side. The bed wobbled a little and I looked at him for a second before going back to look down to the floor.
“Are you ok, love?” He asked.
“I just started having sex,” I said.
“I am aware,” he replied.
“So, all of this talk about my body...it fucking sucks, especially because you’re there and you can listen to all of it, and…”
“And what?”
“Realize I don’t look good in a catsuit.”
“Do you want to see me in a catsuit? I don’t think I’d look good either,” He offered, and I laughed, despite everything, because that was the thing about Harry, he made everything better.
“Would you put on a catsuit for me?”
“I’d do anything for you, Sof...Come with me to London, let’s forget about this whole thing.”
“I can’t, H. I have to train and follow this diet, and be camera ready.”
“I promise I’ll keep you busy,” he said.
“Yeah? How?”
He did exactly what I expected him to do, he kissed me, his fingers pressing softly to the back of my neck, while his tongue swept my bottom lip. It was a lavish kiss, slow and intense. It made me forget that there were people in the other room, and to shift on the bed until I was sitting on his lap, with my legs on each side of his body. His hands started their journey on the upper part of my back, under my shirt, and he ran the tip of his fingers down the length of my spine. Every inch of skin he touched set on fire and reminded me how alive I was and all that I was capable of feeling because of him.
“Please,” I muttered against his lips as his fingers got to the round of my ass, and he dug them and kneaded on my skin.
“Please what?” He smiled.
“Please whatever you want…”
“You need me, baby?”
“I need you, I want you…”
“Can you be quiet for me?”
“Yes, I can try. Please.”
****
The plot thickens: Harry Styles and Sofia Welsh were seen leaving his hotel in Nashville together, where the singer was staying after he performed in Kacey Musgraves’ concert. The stars, who haven’t confirmed the status of their relationship, went out to grab lunch with a group of friends, including Musgraves herself, and then left for the airport together.
This outing comes as a disappointment for Logan Lerman fans, who have started shipping him with the actress, as they are both set to work together in Amazon’s new show...
#Harry Styles#harry styles writing#harry styles one shot#harry styles smut#harry styles fluff#harry styles fanfic#1dff#harry styles fanfiction#hiiiiiiiiiii
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A New Normal - Part 2
Summary: Set in the future of the TWD timeline, this story follows Daryl, Y/N and her brother through their journey in the world of the undead. It wasn’t like Daryl to let people in to his heart easily, but it was Y/N’s smiles that had captured him completely, and before he knew it, there wasn’t a scenario Daryl could think of about his future that didn’t have Y/N in it.
A/N: Second part of A New Normal is here! Check out Part 1 here. Just a quick note, for readers who can’t relate to having an older brother, Andrew can be read as an older cousin, or a friend. He doesn’t have to be a biological brother. :) Comments and feedback are appreciated! As usual, photos/gifs are not mine, but any mistakes in this are certainly mine. Hope you enjoy this second part! It’s doesn’t have a lot of action going on but hope you like the fluff!
Daryl loaded his crossbow with the arrow he had just dug out from the walker’s head and slung it across his back. Y/N watched him from the sidelines and got increasingly intrigued by him. Daryl’s hardened and tough exterior was evidence of a man who looked like he had carried the weight of the whole world on his shoulders all his life, yet beneath that shell sat an inkling of a kindhearted and tender man. She didn’t know Daryl, but she felt safe with him, as with Andrew. Daryl had after all just saved her from a walker.
“Ya gon be okay alone out here?” Daryl’s stern expression was now softer, gentler. Despite having just met her, Daryl was worried about Y/N going on her quest alone. It was almost like an occupational disease after years of taking care of people around him. Daryl immediately felt a strong sense of responsibility for her, like he wanted to do anything in his might to keep her safe for as long as the world allowed. He was almost instantly attracted to her, like a moth to a flame – or a walker to brains. It wasn’t that he had no faith in her survival skills, but because the world – or whatever was left of it – needed her smiles. He needed her smiles and he needed to protect it at all cost.
“Yeah, I’m going to be. My brother shouldn’t be too far from here.” Y/N wanted to leave, but there was a disconnect between her brain and her legs. She continued to stand exactly where she was, across from Daryl. A part of her didn’t want to say goodbye. She felt a strong, undeniable pull towards him. And Daryl hadn’t moved from his spot either.
Daryl held on to Y/N’s gaze, his mind racing to think of the right words to say. He didn’t want to come off as a creep wanting to follow Y/N, but he didn’t want to see her leave either. Silence hung thick in the air between them. Y/N cleared her throat in an attempt to break the silence, although she had not exactly thought of what she was going to say.
At that very moment, Daryl’s ears picked up the sound of rustling leaves and breaking twigs not far from where they were and the sound was coming from all directions behind them. The low growls were getting increasingly noticeable, so was the smell of rotten flesh in the air. From the sound of it, Daryl estimated the herd to be at least 20 to 30 walkers. The earlier tussle between Y/N and the walker must have attracted the herd’s attention to their location. His instincts immediately kicked in and his very first thought was to get Y/N to safety. On his own, he would have easily taken all of the walkers down, but he wasn’t about to risk Y/N’s life.
“Let’s get outta here.” Daryl’s urgently called. Y/N turned and saw that walkers were fast approaching them, their jaws hanging like starved animals. They were both in plain sight of the walkers. Daryl pointed towards the direction in front and gestured for Y/N to run. Quickly and steadily, with the knife firmly in her hands, she followed behind Daryl without turning back. As Daryl ran, his mind was focused on one thing – Y/N. Ever so often he would turn back just to check if she was still there. Through the rush, Daryl saw that her smiles were gone now, replaced by a look of determination and fight.
Daryl moved quickly and silently with Y/N hot on his heels until he spotted a secluded area that would hide them away from the walkers. It was a tiny opening obscured by a thick foliage and just about enough space for two adults. Grabbing Y/N by the arm, Daryl shoved her inside the opening before joining her. Y/N watched in bated breath as the walkers staggered right past the spot they were hiding, completely unaware of their whereabouts. Soon, the sound of their growls became softer and softer, until she couldn’t hear them anymore.
Y/N finally let out the breath she was holding and looked up at Daryl just as he turned to face her. A soft laughter escaped Y/N’s lips, which made Daryl’s heart swell and his heart rate increase. He looked away quickly, afraid that his face would give him away if the sound of his heartbeat against his ribcage doesn’t. Standing face to face with each other, Y/N was suddenly extremely aware of the lack of space between her and Daryl. Her head was almost touching his chest, and she could feel it moving up and down with his panting breaths. There was a rhythmic sound of a constant thumping, almost as if someone was playing drums right inside of Y/N’s cochlear. She later realized that it was the sound of her own heartbeat that she was hearing, which she attributed not to the run she just had, but to the feeling of closeness between them. There was no way they could have caught the sound of each other’s heartbeats over their own. Although the walkers were now long gone, they continued to stay where they were, the absence of space looked as if they were both stuck together. Daryl closed his eyes for a second, mentally willing his pounding heart to slow down. When he opened them, he saw Y/N looking up at him, her expression unreadable.
“Ya okay?” He asked, as they finally stepped out of their hiding spot with Daryl fussing over the cuts on Y/N’s face and arms from the sharp branches. “Ye – Yes, I, uh, I am.” Y/N whispered. Seeing the way Daryl fussed over her, making sure she wasn’t scratched or bit anywhere made her cheeks burned. For some reason, she tried to hold her breath, as if afraid that even the slightest movement from her would break the moment. Without missing a beat, Daryl reached out to touch Y/N’s face to examine the cuts she must have gotten when she was squeezing through the foliage. That simple act, which would have been natural for most people, shocked even Daryl himself. His old friends wouldn’t have pegged him as someone who would easily show his affections for a girl he just met, and yet there he was. “How about you, are you okay?” Y/N finally breathed, to which Daryl simply nodded in response.
“I, uh, should go. I need to find my brother.” Quite a long time had passed since Y/N was separated from Andrew and as much as she enjoyed these moments with Daryl, she didn’t want Andrew to worry.
That was the moment Daryl knew he had to say something. It was now, or never. He needed to see Y/N again and to know she was safe, at least until she found her brother. In the current world they were in, tomorrow was not a given nor guaranteed. He may never see her again if he didn’t say what he wanted to say. “I’ll go with ya.” He half-grunted, half-whispered, evading Y/N’s eyes while pretending to be busy adjusting his crossbow.
Surprised, yet strangely elated with Daryl’s preposition, Y/N smiled. There were no words required. A bond had been forged between them and while they didn’t yet know, they were about to be bound together like each other’s new family.
Andrew soon came into view, not far from where Daryl and Y/N had started off from. He was visibly stained with blood all over his body. Seeing her brother again, Y/N dashed forward and threw him a hug. “Are you okay? Are these blood –“ Y/N gasped.
“The walker’s.” Andrew replied, relieved to see Y/N. When the herd came through moments ago, Andrew had been worried. The herd came from the direction where he last left Y/N more than an hour ago and he couldn’t help but worry if she had managed to evade, or at least fight them. He took down the walkers with ease, and quickly traced his trial back to look for her. From a distance, he saw her running towards him with a man next to her, his disheveled hair obscuring his face. He immediately reached for his gun, a weapon he only use during emergencies, ready to shoot, but the look on his sister’s face had been… happy, smiling. She hadn’t seemed afraid of the man at all, nor did she looked like she was under any kind of threat. Still, the sudden appearance of the man kicked in all of his protective instincts.
“Who are you?” Andrew asked as he stared directly into Daryl’s eyes, gun trained on Daryl’s forehead. Y/N was all he had, and if he had to kill someone who was a threat, he would have no qualms. Daryl on the other hand had made no moves to reach for his crossbow.
“’M Daryl.” Daryl nodded at Andrew.
“He saved my life back there. Twice.” Y/N quickly interjected, tapping on Andrew’s arm to lower his gun. Andrew shot his sister a look, but his hand remain raised with the gun. “Are you hurt?”
“No I’m fine. Just some cuts from hiding from the dead but otherwise fine. Look at me, I still have all my limbs!” Y/N smiled and spun around with her hands in the air, her light chuckles filling the spaces between them. Andrew nodded and looked back at Daryl again, holding the gaze for a moment before lowering his gun and returning it to its holster. Daryl watched as Y/N twirled around, her loose pony tail flying behind her like a kite in the sky. His heart felt full again when he saw Y/N’s smile and hearing her laughter ringing in his ears. It was enough to light up even the darkest of times he’d experienced and he wondered where that smile had been in his life all along.
“I think we should move together.” Y/N steadied her footing and proposed the idea to Andrew and Daryl. Daryl had proven to be an experienced walker-killer and was quick witted, but most importantly, although Y/N didn’t want to admit it, she just can’t bear to say goodbye to Daryl. Where they are living in now, it wasn’t like she could just call him on the phone to meet up at the coffee shop down the street any time they wanted. Any day could be their last day on earth, and she wasn’t ready for that day to be last time she saw Daryl again. She was afraid of Daryl’s rejection, but she was even more afraid of her brother rejecting her preposition. Trust don’t come by easy, not when the alive were more dangerous than the flesh eating corpses.
It wasn’t like Daryl to allow people in to his heart so easily. He was happy and contented on his own and he’d rather be that way, so he could avoid the heartbreak when someone left or died. Just like so many others who were still surviving in this crazy world, Daryl had had his fair share of losses. People he loved, people he cared for, so cruelly taken down. But he was conflicted. On one hand he really didn’t want to part with Y/N, but on the other, he was so afraid of opening his heart to her, only to have his world torn apart someday. He weighed the cost in his head and finally decided to risk losing Y/N later than losing her now without even trying. Daryl held Y/N’s gaze and nodded in agreement before turning to look at Andrew.
Y/N’s heart and spirit immediately lifted upon seeing Daryl’s simple nod of his head. She got to see Daryl again, and even if it was only for another day, it would have made all the difference. She turned to look at Andrew, silently anticipating, praying. She understood the risk it involved, inviting a stranger into their midst. While Y/N had never been a hundred percent accurate with her character judgement in the past, she gravitated towards Daryl naturally and her instincts told her he was a trustworthy guy. Y/N nudged Andrew’s arm lightly to elicit a response and finally Andrew nodded too. “Thanks for saving my sister back there.” Andrew called out to Daryl, and Daryl nodded in response. “But if you tried to harm my sister in any way, I would not hesitate to kill you.” Andrew leaned in towards Daryl and whispered.
Even after years of being alone, it wasn’t hard to get used to Y/N’s presence in his life. She was like a rare flower in a land of the barren, her energy bringing hope to an otherwise hopeless future. Every day in this crazy world, new walkers were made when people died and there never seemed to be a way out of it. But having each other was all they needed to not just simply exist, but to live. Daryl, Y/N and Andrew travelled together for weeks, scavenging new camps left by now-walkers, hunting for animals, looking for shelters.
Just within the first week, it was already easy for Andrew to completely trust Daryl seeing the way he looked out for Y/N. He was quiet yet absolutely badass when dispatching the walkers and keeping them out of Y/N’s way. He was resourceful and almost anything he touched could be used creatively and effectively as a weapon. Andrew could see that Y/N was smitten, she once spent an entire afternoon naming random objects and betting with Daryl that he could turn them into a weapon. “I bet I can throw you a cotton ball right now and you would have made it into a deadly bullet or something.” She laughed, her admiration for Daryl exuding like the noonday sun.
Andrew felt assured with Daryl looking after Y/N. He could tell there was a spark between them and he could tell clearly that Y/N liked Daryl as much as he liked her, although the two of them had never openly admitted it. Andrew had never seen Y/N so happy like she was now since the day shit hit the fan. Daryl and Y/N grew closer and closer, and even though Daryl still wasn’t the type to show physical affections, Andrew swore he caught Daryl attempting to hold Y/N’s hands on multiple occasions.
Travelling wasn’t easy. A journey that would have taken them 3 hours took them 3 days on foot. It was a stroke of luck one day that they found a car that still had some kind of fuel in it, and it was even more of a miracle that when travelling down that winding road in the car, Daryl spotted a motorcycle abandoned along the side, almost hidden from sight. He quickly got out of the car and picked up the motorcycle to check its state. There was a hint of a grin on his face, which Y/N caught a sneak of, when he realized the motorcycle was working.
Y/N grinned, watching Daryl from the side as he admired the two-wheeled metal like a kid who had just been given an unlimited cartoon time. “Can I ride with you?” Y/N chirped excitedly, bringing Daryl’s attention to her. She turned to look at her brother, who rolled his eyes at her in response. Daryl looked at Andrew too, waiting for his approval. He would love to bring Y/N on a ride, but he was worried about overstepping Andrew. Daryl’s worries were unfounded though because there was no way Andrew could say no to Y/N. And he knew he could trust Daryl to keep her safe.
“Hop on then.” Daryl said as he threw his leg over the seat like second nature. Y/N laughed excitedly as she did the same. It had been years since she had last ride pillion on a motorbike. The pure excitement was like finally getting into the roller coaster she had been queuing hours for. She snuggled in onto the seat behind Daryl and waved to Andrew who was now in the driver’s seat of the car next to the bike.
Y/N wasn’t afraid to let herself laugh out loud. The sound of the engine was louder than her laughter anyway. She grabbed tightly onto Daryl’s waist with one hand, and raised her other hand in the air, enjoying the cool breeze kissing her cheeks as Daryl brought her down the road. It felt so freeing with Daryl there with her, the sound of the engine and winds in her ears drowning out the hungry calls of the walkers.
Unknown to Y/N, Daryl’s face was positively flushed. The gentle pressure and the warmth of Y/N’s arm around his waist gave him comfort, a comfort he didn’t know he was yearning for until he met her. A comfort that felt so much like home that it was unnatural for Daryl who had never felt the comfort of a home his whole life. He never knew he would find this simple comfort in the most unlikely of worlds. Bit by bit, Daryl was learning to receive intimacy from another person because of Y/N. Slowly but surely, the walls he had built were coming off brick by brick, mortar by mortar because of Y/N. He watched Y/N through the rearview mirrors and saw her beautiful face looking skyward, her eyes closed and a contented smile on her lips and his heart swelled. He wanted to freeze time at that exact moment where it was just him and Y/N, and none of that dead shit happening around them. The irony though, had the undead not happen, he probably would have never met Y/N.
#the walking dead#daryl dixon#daryl dixon fanfic#daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x reader imagine#daryl dixon fluff#twd#the walking dead fanfiction#twd fanfiction#twd fanfic#the walking dead fanfic#badass daryl dixon#norman reedus#norman reedus fanfic#badass norman reedus#a new normal
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4am
the whole thing is here but its over 18k so if you would prefer to read it on ao3 i understand
It’s widely understood that when Michael Guerin has a problem he drowns it in bourbon and anonymous sex. Occasionally he might complain to Isobel Evans about it or maybe even Max Evans but mostly, his problems end up on the floor of the Wild Pony, one way or another.
Alex Manes, on the other hand, doesn’t have problems. Or if he does, he doesn’t talk about it. Everyone knows that nobody bottles up their issues quite like Alex.
What nobody understands is that no one can ignore their problems forever. Everyone needs a release. Sometimes, that release comes in alcohol, sometimes in hitting something or someone and letting them hit you in return, sometimes even in the bliss of a stranger’s company. And sometimes it comes in the form of a late night phone call and quiet secrets and shared traumas.
No one understands and that’s exactly the way they like it.
---
He’d turned the ringer up loud earlier in the day to make sure he didn’t miss a phone call or a text and Alex was sorely regretting that now.
The sharp ring woke him from a light sleep and Alex snatched the phone off the bedside table and answered the call before it could wake anyone else up. He didn’t even have time to look at the Caller ID.
“Hello?”
Heavy breathing on the other end was his only answer. Alex twisted his wrist to check the time. 3:12am
“I can’t hold a guitar.” Alex collapsed in on himself at the husky voice. It sounded like the other man had been crying. Or maybe screaming.
“Guerin?” He let out a breath. “Are you okay?” He hadn’t seen Michael since his father had dragged him out of the shed the previous afternoon. By the time Alex could sneak back out there, the place was empty and all of Michael’s things were gone. “That’s a stupid question. Did you go to the hospital?”
“No insurance.”
“You’re a minor, the state should cover you,” Alex told him with absolutely no knowledge whatsoever if what he was saying was actually true. If Michael believed it at least he might go see a doctor and worry about the bills later.
Michael laughed. It was a harsh, broken thing and he stopped suddenly after a few seconds. “And when they ask me what happened? Am I supposed to tell them the resident war hero smashed it with his hammer because he caught me with his son?”
Alex closed his eyes. He hadn’t thought of that. He’d just wanted Michael to be okay. “Guerin-”
“I tried to pick up my guitar,” Michael cut him off. “I can’t even fucking hold it. My hand won’t- it won’t grip.” Alex felt tears sting the back of his eyelids. “I can’t play Alex.”
“I’m sorry,” Alex choked out.
“Don’t,” Michael replied forcefully. “It’s not your fault. It’s not.”
“He’s my dad.”
“He’s a monster. Doesn’t make it your fault.”
Alex pulled his knees up to his chin and pressed his forehead to his leg. His phone creaked from how tightly he was squeezing it. He didn’t know what to say.
Michael was silent on the other end of the line. If it hadn’t been for his harsh breaths, Alex might have thought he’d hung up.
“Rosa’s dead,” Alex said suddenly. He hadn’t meant to say it but the words were on the tip of his tongue. Michael was quiet. “She- she’s dead. How- god, Michael, Liz called this morning and I couldn’t even process it. I hadn’t heard from you since my dad- and I just wanted to know you were okay and I couldn’t process that my friend is- she’s gone, Guerin.” Alex lost the battle against the tears, one he hadn’t realized he’d been fighting for hours now, and they streamed hot and heavy down his face. They burned on his cheeks but he made no moves to brush them away. There was no one here to see them anyway.
“I’m sorry.” Michael sounded so earnest, like he truly meant it and wasn’t just saying that to be polite, it soothed something in him. Just a little.
“She was going to California,” Alex confessed. “We talked about me coming with her after graduation. Maybe go to LA. I could play music and we’d get a crappy little apartment and bug Liz and Maria to come visit us.” Alex sniffed. “We were supposed to leave. Leave and be happy. Away from here.”
“I’m sorry,” Michael said again. It was quiet for a while. “You can still leave, Alex. You can go to California and make music. You don’t have to stay here, not with him.”
“What about you?” Alex asked quietly.
Michael’s breath hitched. “What about me?”
“Would you want to make music?” He couldn’t quite bring himself to ask him to come with him if he left, not yet. It was too soon.
Michael huffed. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. Did.” He let out a pained groan and hissed curse. Alex got the idea that he might have tried to move his hand. “You know, I always kind of thought of starting a dad band? Find someone to make music with, have a couple of kids, jam out in the garage instead of doing homework kind of thing.” And now he can’t even hold a guitar. Because of Alex and his dad.
Alex swallowed around the lump in his throat. “That sounds pretty great,” he admitted quietly.
“Yeah?”
Neither of them pointed out that it was a lot less likely to happen now. “Yeah. You could pick up the triangle. Or maybe a cowbell.”
“Hey now no need to be mean.” But Michael laughed.
Alex smiled even though the tears hadn’t quite stopped. “You’d be great at it.”
“I’d be awesome. Don’t sell me short.”
“I could never,” Alex promised. The air sobered between them. “Michael. You’ll play again someday. I promise.”
Michael didn’t reply right away. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
The line went dead.
---
The phone hitting him in the face woke him long before the ringing would have. Michael jerked away from the impact, his eyes blinking open blearily.
“It’s for you,” the girl next to him muttered. “Shut it up.” Michael didn’t remember her name.
He grabbed the phone fully intending to turn it off when he saw the name flashing. He answered it just as it was going to voicemail. “Hold on,” he mumbled. Without waiting to hear a response, he rolled over the girl on his tiny bunk and fell to the floor with a crash. Cursing and rubbing his elbow, he grabbed his boxers from the floor and fled his new Airstream. “Alex?” Alex’s reply was lost when he dropped the phone trying to pull his boxers on.
“Shit,” he cursed, scrambling to grab it. “Alex?”
“Guerin?” Alex almost sounded amused which was good. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. Fine. You?” He pulled the phone away from his ear to check the time. 3:52am. “Shit, it’s late.”
“Yeah,” Alex agreed. He didn’t say anything else.
Michael dropped heavily into one of his new lawn chairs. Well, it was new to him. What was that old saying? One man’s trash is another man’s treasure? “How’s Basic?”
The line was silent before Michael heard a whoosh of air as Alex exhaled loudly. “It’s shit.”
Michael rolled his eyes. “I could’ve told you that.”
“Don’t,” Alex said, not pleading or scolding, just simply. “Not right now.”
“Okay,” Michael agreed. He didn’t want Alex to hang up. It was the first time they’d spoken since Alex left and he didn’t know when or if Alex would call again.
“They- fuck,” Michael heard a thud. “They have expectations.”
“Who?”
“Everyone!” Alex shifted. “They all know my dad. And the guy in charge here was an old buddy of my grandfather’s.” Michael didn’t know what to say. “They all expect me to be them. And I don’t- I don’t know if I know how not to be.”
“You’re not them, Alex,” Michael reminded him.
“I wasn’t,” Alex agreed. “Out there when I could dress how I wanted and act like I wanted and do what I wanted. But here? Here there’s no me, it’s just- it’s just the military and the way you have to act to be military and I see my dad and my grandfather and my brothers everywhere I look and I don’t want to be them, Guerin!”
“You’re not,” Michael assured him. “You’re not them and unless they do some serious brainwashing and maybe a personality transplant over there, you’re not going to be, okay? You’re Alex. Not Jesse, not Clay, or Flint, or Greg. You’re Alex.”
Alex was quiet. “I don’t know what that means.”
“Where are you?”
“Basic training,” Alex replied immediately.
“Alex,” Michael groaned. It was like pulling teeth sometimes.
“Uh,” Alex hesitated. “In a supply closet in the communications building.”
Michael raised an eyebrow even if Alex couldn’t see it. “Why?”
“Because they lock up our phones except for pre-approved usage times.”
Michael double checked his phone but it definitely said Alex’s name. “You’re on your phone now.”
“Well yeah, I couldn’t remember your number so I broke in and stole it.” He said it like it was nothing.
“Alex,” Michael laughed.
“What?” Alex said defensively.
“Would anyone else in your family break into a military facility to steal their phone to make a middle of the night phone call to their-” Michael stopped short of labeling himself anything in relation to Alex. “No way,” he continued. “They wouldn’t dare.”
Alex hummed consideringly. Michael heard a loud noise on the other end. “Shit,” Alex hissed quietly. “There’s a patrol. I gotta go.”
The line went dead. Michael stared at his phone as the call ended and the screen went black. After a while he realized Alex wasn’t going to call back so he trudged back inside the trailer only to freeze at the sight of the naked girl in his bed. He’d completely forgotten about her and after talking to Alex the thought of getting back in bed next to her only made his skin crawl. He fished some sweats out of the closet and went back outside to sleep in his truck.
---
Michael’s hands were shaking as he listened to the phone ring. It had been a while since they’d spoken, longer since they’d seen each other in person, but there was only one person Michael could even think of calling.
The call connected to a loud burst of music and a shouted, “hold on!” Already, Michael’s hands were steadier.
He waited as the noises faded and the world quieted. “Guerin?” Alex asked, a little breathless.
“Hi,” he greeted, his voice smaller than he’d like.
Alex didn’t ask what was wrong or why he was calling. He just waited.
“I needed you to answer,” Michael confessed into the silence. “I needed- I don’t know. I just-”
There was a shout of, “Manes! You coming back?”, and Michael’s heart started to race until Alex replied. “I’m heading out! I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Oh come on, Manes, that guy was hot!” Michael closed his eyes.
Alex laughed. “Not hot enough.” There was a long pause as the world got quiet on Alex’s end. First the voices disappeared and then the music cut off with the loud slam of a heavy door. “Guerin?”
“Sorry for ruining your night.” It was after 3am and Michael had been fully prepared to wake Alex up. He wasn’t prepared to catch Alex out on a date.
“You didn’t,” Alex assured him. A car door opened and then closed.
Michael didn’t know what to say. The more he thought about why he’d called, why he’d needed Alex to answer, the stupider he felt. But he also couldn’t hang up so he just sat there, phone pressed tight against his ear hoping Alex didn’t hang up.
Alex didn’t hang up. After a while he started humming under his breath. It was too faint for Michael to make out the song but it was a pleasant reminder that Alex was still there.
“I need to drive home,” Alex said after a while. “Do you mind if I put you on speaker?”
Michael should probably just end the call and let him drive but, “that’s fine.” A second later, Alex’s car turned on and his music started playing briefly before Alex turned it off and continued humming. Michael listened to the sounds of Alex driving and let it lull him half to sleep. He heard the engine shut off and the car door open and close followed by the house door open and close and still neither of them said a word.
Michael listened as Alex got changed for bed and he heard the quiet sigh as Alex slipped under the covers. “Late night.”
“Long week,” Alex countered. He started humming again.
“What is that?”
Alex hesitated. “It’s nothing. Just something I was playing around with the other day.”
“You’re writing?” Michael smiled. Alex had always wanted to write his own music.
“Trying to. Sometimes.”
“I like it.”
“Thanks.”
The humming started again and this time Michael recognized it, realizing that Alex was humming the same part over and over again. He tried to join in.
Alex let him for a few notes before he started laughing. “Hey!” Michael scolded half heartedly. “I’m not that bad.”
“Yeah you are,” Alex laughed.
“Hmph,” Michael grumbled. “Well compared to you everyone’s terrible.”
“You’re biased,” Alex accused lightly, his voice barely above a mumble.
“Yeah I am,” Michael agreed. “Night, Alex. Thanks for answering.”
“Always.”
---
Alex paced the parking lot, his phone in his hands. He kept turning it over and over, not pausing long enough to actual call anyone.
He knew who he was going to call, that was never a question. This was how it went. He called, the other answered, they talked or didn’t talk depending on the night, and then they never spoke about it again. Middle of the night phone calls were sacred. No matter how long it had been or what had been last said in the daylight, if the phone rang in the middle of the night, it got answered.
Which meant Alex had to wait. It was just past two in the morning now. By any rational person’s clock that was late. Hell, Alex was normally asleep by 10 o’clock so this was extremely late. He just wasn’t sure if it was late enough to count as a middle of the night call. He needed it to not be a regular call.
Alex didn’t stop moving for the next 30 minutes. He covered the parking lot four times over and nearly dropped his phone twice because he couldn’t stop playing with it. When it was almost three (2:41am but he’s rounding up) he pressed Call.
“One second,” Michael answered gruffly after six rings. There was another voice muffled in the background. Whoever it was did not sound happy that Michael had answered the phone.
Alex bounced on his toes lightly and waited as Michael made his excuses to his hookup of the night.
“Okay,” Michael said after a moment.
“I kissed my squadmate,” Alex blurted out. “Well, I kissed him and then he sucked me off. In my commanding officer’s office. And we got caught.”
Silence. “Are you getting discharged?” Trust Michael to skip past the awkwardness for once and cut straight to the point.
“I don’t know.” Which was part of the problem.
“Isn’t it against the military’s rules to be gay?” Alex heard the creak of Michael’s truck door opening and then the slam of it closing.
“Yes. Kinda. Not really? It’s complicated.” Alex started pacing.
“Yeah, I’m a little drunk so you’re going to have to explain that one to me.”
“DADT got repealed. Today. Or yesterday, I suppose.”
“So you’re not getting kicked out?”
“I don’t know.” Michael waited. “It happened two days ago. They hadn’t actually filed any charges against us to start the discharge process. And now with DADT being repealed it’s all up in the air. Because the ‘offense’ happened before the repeal and also because they don’t know if the repeal goes into effect immediately or if there’s a delay or what that means for us.” Alex stopped and squatted on a curb.
Michael didn’t say anything right away and so Alex waited. “Alex, did you get caught on purpose?”
Alex closed his eyes. “Maybe.”
“Alex…”
“Can you imagine my dad’s face if his son was dishonorably discharged for engaging in homosexual activity?” Alex could. He’d pictured it many a time. “It would be on record. He’d have to acknowledge it.”
“So you’re going to throw your life away? To piss off your dad?”
Alex rolled his eyes. “It’s the Air Force, not my life.”
“It’s a dishonorable discharge,” Michael corrected. He sounded remarkably sober for a guy who claimed to be drunk. “That kind of thing sticks with you.”
“I know.” Because he did know. He just wasn’t sure he cared all that much.
Michael huffed. “So now what?”
“I don’t know. They could go either way. Hell, they could wait to decide what to do and just leave us in limbo for now.”
“Why now?”
Alex dropped his head to his knees. This was the part he hadn’t wanted to admit to. “I’m being deployed next week.”
“Shit, Alex.”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “I’m a coward.”
“You’re not a coward. Not wanting to go to war does not make you a coward. It means you have a brain and some semblance of self preservation.”
“I joined the military, Guerin,” Alex reminded him. “I knew what that meant. But now that it’s here…”
“You’re going to be fine, Alex.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes I do. Because you’re not allowed to not be fine.”
Alex’s shoulders sagged. “Not allowed huh?”
“No. I checked the rule book. You have to come home, safe and sound.”
“Yeah okay,” Alex sighed.
Michael let the silence linger before, “was he good at least? Like, worth getting kicked out of the military good?”
Alex smirked. “I’ve had better.”
He heard the slow lazy smile that spread across Michael’s lips, the smugness just oozing through the phone. “Yeah you have.”
---
Alex’s voice was a sleepy mumble when he finally answered. “Guerin?”
“Hey,” Michael greeted softly. It was late, even for this kind of call. Hell, Alex would probably be needing to get up for the day soon at this point.
Bed sheets rustled as Alex shifted in bed. He waited for Michael to speak first. When he didn’t, he started humming, as had become his habit.
Michael let him for a little while, his eyes closed as he listened to Alex try out different notes. He’d been working on the same tune for years at this point but Michael never tired of hearing it. “Alex?”
Alex stopped humming with an inquisitive noise.
“Am I really that bad of a person?”
“You’re not a bad person at all,” Alex told him. His voice was still slightly rough with sleep and for the first time Michael felt bad for calling him. Alex had clearly needed the rest. “You’re an idiot sometimes and you make terrible life decisions but you’re not a bad person.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“If you want me to lie, call me when I’m awake,” Alex grumbled. They both knew Michael wouldn’t though. They didn’t talk like this when the sun was shining. If they talked at all it was inconsequential.
“Max is joining the sheriff’s department,” Michael told him. “Because of me. Because he thinks he needs to to get me out of trouble. Because I’m such a screw up that he needs to literally make a career out of cleaning up after me.”
Alex sighed. “You’re not responsible for what Max does. He’s a big boy, just like you, and he makes his own choices, okay?”
Michael waited for him to tell him he wasn’t a screw up. He didn’t.
“Guerin?”
“Yeah, okay.” Michael swallowed thickly and hoped Alex couldn’t hear it through the phone.
“What is it?” No such luck.
“You were supposed to tell me I’m not a screw up.” Alex didn’t reply right away and Michael scoffed. “Guess I should have called when you were awake.”
“You’re not a screw up,” Alex finally said. But had lost some of its meaning. “You just make bad choices sometimes.”
Michael had a sudden flashback to his truck that last summer. “Right.” He nodded even though Alex couldn’t see him. “I forgot. I’m throwing my life away.”
Alex sighed heavily. He sounded a good deal more awake now than he had. “Guerin-”
“Sorry for waking you up.”
“Gue-”
Michael hung up.
---
“Hey man, are you okay?” Richards grabbed his shoulder but Alex threw him off without a thought. He must have been rougher than he’d thought because Richards took a full step back and put his hands in the air. “Manes? Alex?”
“I’m fine,” Alex barked.
“You are not fine,” Henderson told him. Alex whirled around. He hadn’t even heard him come up behind him. Henderson also took a step back.
“Okay, fine. I’m not fine.”
“What do you need, man?” Collins asked from behind Richards.
Alex wasn’t even entirely sure what had happened. One second he was fine and the next he was having what might be a panic attack. “I need to leave.” The guys immediately started clearing a path to the door. Alex was nearly outside before he realized what he really needed was something else. “I need my phone.”
Henderson turned on the spot. “I’ll get it.”
Collins and Richards waved Alex outside, neither one of them touching him and making sure no one else even came close. It was impressive considering how crowded the bar was tonight.
Alex braced himself against the brick wall, closed his eyes, and sucked in slow, deep breaths. There were people walking on the street behind him but Alex blocked them out. “Here,” he heard Henderson say. Alex opened his eyes to see his cell phone in front of his face. He snatched it from Henderson with a gruff ‘thanks’ and started scrolling through his contacts. It had been a while since either of them called and their last call hadn’t ended well but Alex didn’t care.
He ignored the fact that it was barely past midnight and hit Call. As it rang he pressed his forehead to the back of his hand, his fingers digging into the brick. The guys stood around him, not quite hovering but not leaving him alone just yet.
Alex ignored all of it and listened to the phone ring.
The dial tone cut off with a, “-uck off Max!”
Alex sagged lightly against the wall. There was a slamming door and some more cursing before, “Alex?”
“Hi,” he whispered.
“What’s wrong?” They didn’t usually ask. But then again, Alex didn’t usually call this early in the night. He was suddenly acutely aware of his friends pretending not to listen in.
“Can you-” Alex cleared his throat. “Can you just-”
Thankfully, Michael didn’t need him to finish the sentence because Alex wasn’t sure that he could. He waited half a beat to make sure Alex didn’t say anything else before he was off on a tangent about something. Alex could honestly say he had no idea what Michael was talking about, at some points the terminology he was using went straight over his head and at others he was referencing people Alex had never met. But it honestly didn’t matter as Alex felt his panic subside and the tension leave him the longer Michael talked.
After more than a few minutes, though it honestly could have been an hour and Alex wasn’t sure he’d have noticed, Collins came over to him. “Do you need a ride home?”
Michael stopped talking, clearly listening in.
Alex nodded. “Sorry.” They’d all come together.
“Dude,” Richards scoffed. “Don’t apologize. Place was lame anyway.” He turned and led the way to the car, Henderson on his heels. Collins lagged behind to make sure Alex was following.
“Alex?” Michael asked.
“Yeah. Can you-”
Michael hummed. “So yesterday Izzy-” Alex let the words roll right over him. He barely paid attention to where he was walking and trusted Collins to get him back to the car in one piece.
Alex didn’t say a word the whole ride home and the others left after making sure he got into his apartment in one piece, none of them asking the questions obviously on the tips of their tongues. Alex loved them for it, just a little bit.
He listened to Michael ramble as he got ready for bed and collapsed on top of his sheets.
“I saw my dad today.”
Michael cut off mid word.
“He- he’s visiting an old friend of his apparently.”
“I didn’t realize the devil had friends.”
“Plenty of demons in hell,” Alex said lightly. “I didn’t think he saw me but then he was out at the bar I went to tonight and he,” Alex stopped. He hadn’t even really processed it earlier, what exactly had set him off. Now, he wasn’t sure he wanted to admit it. Hell, he wasn’t sure he could admit it.
He let out a shuddering breath and said nothing.
After a while, Michael started talking again and Alex fell asleep to the sound of his voice.
---
Maria grabbed the keys out of his hand even as she shoved him out the door. “Your truck will be here tomorrow,” she told him. She closed the doors behind her and watched him as he stumbled across the parking lot. “Is there someone you can call?”
Michael laughed. “At this time?” He paused. “What time is it?”
“3am,” she sighed. “Look, you can’t stay here. I can’t afford that right now.” She’d just bought the place and he knew any small problem could snowball for her right now. “I need to clean up and lock up. If you’re still here when I leave, I’m calling the Sheriff.”
She hesitated a moment, a wary eye locked on him, but eventually she went back inside. Michael didn’t miss the definitive thud of the deadbolt turning in the lock a second later.
Michael tripped twice on his way to his truck, his feet catching on the gravel. He had half a thought of using his powers to start the engine but he dismissed it, recognizing that he really was way too drunk to try and drive. Honestly, he was drunk enough that he might somehow blow the car up trying to start it with his powers. Instead, he pawed clumsily at the seats until his cell phone appeared.
Holding onto it tightly, he slammed the door and started down the road. The Wild Pony was on the opposite side of town from Sanders’ but at least he wasn’t parked out at Foster’s right now. That would have been too far.
Michael wasn’t sure at what point he’d dialed the phone but before he knew it it was ringing in his hands.
“Hey,” Alex’s tiny voice answered. Michael stopped and stared down at his name on the screen. He didn’t have a contact photo set for him; Alex wouldn’t let him take one. “Guerin?”
“Alexxx,” Michael drew out his name far longer than necessary.
Alex sighed. “You’re drunk.”
“Yes,” Michael nodded firmly. “Very. Maria took my keys.”
“Where are you?”
Michael looked around. “Roswell.”
He thought Alex might have snorted. “I know that. Are you at the Pony?”
“Nope.” Michael shook his head. “She kicked me out.”
“Oookay. So where are you now?”
“Walking.”
Alex paused. “You’re walking home from the Pony? Drunk?”
Michael shrugged. “She said I couldn’t stay or she’d call the Sheriff. I don’t want to see Max’s disappointed face again. It’s a stupid face.”
“Michael,” Alex sighed. “Can you call Isobel? Have her pick you up.”
“She’s got a new boyfriend. She’d be mad if I woke her up. Says she needs her beauty sleep for him.”
“Mich-”
“You left.” Alex choked on his name when Michael cut him off.
“I couldn’t stay.”
“No. You could,” Michael focused more on putting one foot in front of the other than on the words spilling out of his mouth. Probably a good thing because otherwise he’d never say it and he’d just have more nights like this one. “You just won’t. You never will. But I know that. I’m good for a fuck but not to stay over. Whatever.”
“Guerin-”
“You left.” He’d gotten to the edge of the street and he tripped over the lip of the sidewalk. The phone fell to the ground next to him and he missed Alex’s response. When he got back up, the phone was cracked but the call was still connected. “You left Roswell. Two days before you said you would. You didn’t say goodbye.” Half the reason Michael had gotten so drunk tonight was because he’d made plans for a night with Alex only to realize Alex had skipped town.
“I had to go,” Alex told him. “My friend needed me.”
“I needed you,” Michael might have whined. “You just skipped town in the middle of the night.”
Alex exhaled heavily. “I didn’t think you’d care. I mean, you always find some excuse to not be around when I leave.”
“I care,” Michael insisted. “You’re just an asshole.”
“And you’re drunk.”
“Doesn’t make you less of an asshole.”
“Where are you now?”
Michael looked up. “Crashdown.”
“Okay.” He paused. “Michael?” Michael hummed. “Keep walking.”
Michael looked down at his feet, surprised to find them stuck in place. “I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. Just take a step.” Michael did. “And again.” Michael did. Slowly, leaning more heavily on the buildings he passed, he got to the end of the strip.
At some point he started narrating his journey. After a while Alex started giving him directions like he didn’t know how to get home, like Alex knew the way better than he did. Michael didn’t argue with him, though, just kept talking as he walked until eventually he crashed into the locked gate at Sanders’. Michael picked the lock without thinking about it. He’d lost the key Sanders gave him a long time ago and using his powers on the lock was an old habit.
“You home?” Alex asked. Michael was sure he’d been talking this whole time but he must have missed some of it.
“Mhmm,” Michael agreed as he trudged up the steps of his trailer. He almost dropped the phone as he fell onto his bunk.
“Good night, Guerin.”
---
Alex couldn’t sleep. His body was thrumming with something like excitement. Or maybe anxiety. He didn’t know.
The news broke that morning and it was all Alex could think about all day. Every time he thought he’d finally got it out of his head, someone or something would remind him and he’d be lost to it again.
He had to be up in three hours, had to be at work in less than four, and yet he had hardly even closed his eyes.
Alex fought with himself for a few more minutes before giving it up and getting out of bed to get his phone. It was across the room so he unplugged it from the charger and carried it outside with him. Sometimes, he’d scroll through his contacts and fool himself that there was someone else he might call but tonight he didn’t bother with the pretense; he went straight to Michael’s name and hit call.
Michael answered immediately, almost like he’d been waiting for Alex.
“They did it,” he greeted.
Alex felt himself smile. “Yeah.” It was nearly reverent. “They actually did it.” Michael laughed and a second later Alex joined in. He leaned back and stared up at the stars. “They really did it.”
They sat quietly for a while, just listening to each other breathe.
“Run that dad band idea by me again?” Alex had no idea what had possessed him to say it. They never mentioned these phone calls, never, and it had been years since Michael brought it up.
Michael made a strange noise. “Couple of kids, crappy family garage band instead of doing homework?”
“Yeah that.”
“First step is finding someone you can make music with.”
“And marrying them,” Alex smiled. “I can do that now.” As of this morning, he could marry any guy he wanted, anywhere he wanted.
“Yeah, Alex. You can do that now.”
Alex closed his eyes. “Might need to find me a mean triangle player.”
Michael paused and Alex wondered if he’d gone too far. “No cowbell?”
“Eh,” he sighed in relief. “You can always use more cowbell. Could need a guy who can do both.”
“Steep requirement.”
“Well, I could never marry just anyone.” He laughed. “Gotta have standards, you know.”
“Only the very best for Alex Manes,” Michael agreed.
“And for Michael Guerin.”
“Sure.”
Alex opened his mouth to reply when another voice beat him to it. “Are you coming back? Or should I go?”
Michael audibly wavered so Alex made the choice for him. “It’s late. I need to sleep.”
“Alex-”
“He sounds hot.” He hung up.
---
Isobel was going to be fine. A few bumps and bruises, possibly a concussion if she actually got checked out at the hospital, but otherwise she was fine. As far as car accidents go, it was nothing, especially considering the state of her car.
Michael had just had time to push the oncoming car just slightly to the side before it hit Isobel head on and the adrenaline rush from using his powers publicly and being scared to death that Isobel almost died was starting to wear off.
“Michael, I’m fine,” she insisted. Noah hovered in the open front door behind her but Isobel ignored him. “Really. It’s you I’m worried about.”
Michael looked at her, surprised. “Why would you be worried about me? You’re the one who almost died not an hour ago.”
“Yeah but you’re the one who,” she stepped closer and lowered her voice, “decided to use his powers in public.”
Michael rolled his eyes. “It was Main St at midnight, hardly town square in the middle of the day.”
“Still,” she insisted. “You’ve been antsy ever since and you keep asking me if I’m okay and-”
“That’s because you almost died!” He reminded her.
“But I didn’t!” She put her hands on his shoulders. “You saved me. You did good, okay? So take a deep breath and relax. You’re starting to stress me out with how stressed you are.”
“I’m not stressed.”
“Well you’re something.”
Michael rolled his eyes. Behind Isobel’s head he saw Noah start to pace, his eyes locked on Isobel. “Your boy toy’s getting antsy. You should do something about that.”
Isobel looked over her shoulder and smiled before focusing back on Michael. “You should stay. Crash in the guest room.”
Michael shook his head. “I’m going home.”
Isobel eyed him. “Is home code for the Wild Pony?”
“No, home’s code for my shitty little Airstream,” Michael rolled his eyes.
“I don’t think you should be drinking tonight. You’ve already used your powers once-”
“Good night, Isobel.” Michael hugged her, cutting her off. “I’m glad you’re not dead.” He pushed her gently towards Noah, exchanging a nod with the man, and drove off.
He didn’t go home. He also didn’t go to the Pony.
Michael parked his truck by the Crashdown and scurried across the street to the shuttered UFO Emporium and broke the lock. He slipped inside, careful to shut the door behind him, and navigated blindly through the rooms until he got to the room with the tacky glow in the dark stars painted on the wall.
He sat on the floor, sucked down half a bottle of acetone, and called Alex.
“Hmm?” Alex answered sleepily.
“Who would pay money for a dump like this?”
“Hmm?” Alex asked, slightly less sleepily.
Michael leaned back slowly until he was lying on the floor staring up at the ceiling. There were more ‘stars’ up there but some of them were stuck on and were falling down. “They couldn’t even be bothered with halfway decent stars.”
“Guerin,” Alex grumbled. “Are you at the museum?”
“It’s terrible.”
He heard Alex roll his eyes. “It’s always been terrible.”
Michael looked around. “I don’t know. It’s not all bad. I’d even say this room’s had some amazing things happen in it.”
“Amazing, huh?”
Michael hummed in agreement. He listened to Alex shuffle around in bed and didn’t say anything for a while.
“Bad day?” Alex finally asked.
“Isobel was in an accident,” he confessed. “Other guy was drunk, just missed hitting her head on.”
“Is she okay?”
“Bumps and bruises,” Michael told him. “She was coming to pick me up. I was right there. She could’ve-”
“Hey, no, she’s fine,” Alex assured him. “I mean, come on, she’s Isobel Evans, a little thing like a car accident isn’t going to take her out.” Michael laughed.
“Nah, she’d wait for the apocalypse or something.”
“Please,” Alex scoffed. “She’d rule the apocalypse. Dare the world to try harder.”
Michael laughed until he started crying. “The guy just missed her.” He wiped at his face. “Almost took the front of her car off.”
“But he did miss her,” Alex reminded him. “She’s okay. Say it.”
“She’s okay.”
“She’s okay.” Michael drew in a shuddering breath. He let it out just as shakily.
“She’s okay,” Alex said again, his voice calm and even.
Michael took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. It wasn’t working. “Can you-?”
Alex started humming without any more prompting. It had become a habit over the years. When Alex called but couldn’t or wouldn’t talk about why, Michael just rambled about whatever he could think of until Alex either fell asleep or hung up. When Michael called, Alex would hum for him. Sometimes he’d recognize it as a popular song but most often, Alex would just hum. Bits of it he recognized, some lines that Alex repeated over and over, something he once said he was working on. Michael had never heard more than bits and pieces, wasn’t sure if Alex had gotten any further than that, but he’d always liked hearing it.
That was what Alex hummed for him tonight and it settled him like nothing else could.
---
“Alex,” Henderson stepped in front of him, his hands in the air in front of his chest to show he meant no harm. “You need to sleep, man.”
Alex shook his head. “I need you to move.”
Elcott touched Alex’s elbow and he jerked away from her. “Don’t.” Her eyes were sad but kind. No pity.
“Manes, it’s late. You need to be awake and alert tomorrow for your shift. You need to sleep.”
Alex shook his head again. “Right now, what I really need, is for you to get out of my way.”
“Look, Manes, we’ve been there,” Henderson started.
Henderson was his friend. They’d been posted together for years before this deployment and they knew each other pretty well. Alex knew that Henderson understood, knew that he could talk to the man if he wanted, the problem was that he didn’t want to. He couldn’t.
Alex stared him in the eyes. He had a few inches and about 20 pounds on Alex but Alex had no doubt he could take him. After all, he had plenty of experience fighting men bigger and taller than him. “Move.”
Henderson shared a look with Elcott before sighing heavily and stepping to the side. “Try not to get caught doing something stupid, will you?”
Alex didn’t spare him a sideways glance let alone a response as he burst out into the cold night air and made a beeline for the communications building.
Two uniformed men stood guard out front. Alex ignored them until one physically stepped in front of him. “Manes. You can’t be in here.” Lt. Walker’s eyes were kind, he knew what had happened earlier, but his tone left no room for argument. “You need to go back to the barracks.”
Alex shook his head. “I need to-”
“Personal communications are not authorized at this time, Manes, you know that.” Walker stepped in front of him, hand outstretched, but stopped shy of actually touching Alex. It was a wise choice on his part; Alex was crawling out of his skin and he had no idea how he’d react to someone’s touch right now.
“I need-” Alex’s voice cracked slightly and he squeezed his eyes shut to avoid seeing their reactions.
“Manes,” the other guard said, the one Alex didn’t know.
“Five minutes,” Alex pleaded. “I need five minutes.” He swallowed thickly.
Walker exchanged a look with the other man, the man shrugged and pointedly looked away, and Walker opened the door behind him. “Five minutes.”
“Thank you,” Alex told them sincerely as he slipped inside. The place was mostly dark, all operations communications being run out of a different building and personal communications prohibited at this time of night, but Alex knew the way to the phone bank just fine. He hadn’t had occasion to use it much but every soldier stationed here knew where to find their connection to back home.
Alex didn’t bother with a chair. He grabbed the phone off the desk and curled up on the floor, his fingers dialing a familiar number without hesitation.
It rang twice before being sent to voicemail.
Alex called again. It rang once.
Alex let out a mild curse and called a third time. This time it was picked up just before it went to voicemail. “Who the hell is this?”
“Michael,” Alex exhaled.
“Alex?” There was a loud clang like Michael had dropped something. “What time is it over there?”
There was a clock on the wall opposite him. “3:52 am,” he answered.
“What’s wrong?”
And just like that, Alex broke. He’d been holding it together all day, since 1:36 pm. Since Alex pulled the trigger and another man fell to the ground and didn’t move.
Michael made soothing noises on the phone, a low murmur of words that Alex had no hope of understanding but that was okay for now. He just needed Michael’s voice in his ear.
“I killed someone,” he finally croaked out. “He was going to shoot us but I shot him first but it doesn’t even matter because he’s dead because of me.” Tears were falling freely but Alex didn’t notice. “I killed someone, Michael,” he whispered.
“Alex.” Michael’s voice was soft, gentle. Alex wasn’t sure he deserved it right now. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”
“I shouldn’t have,” Alex closed his eyes only to be blinded with the memory of the man falling to the ground, chest covered in blood. His eyes snapped open. “I-”
“You shouldn’t have had to,” Michael agreed. “But you’re alive. And your squad’s alive, right?”
“Yeah.” Every one of them had gotten back safe and sound, no injuries. “He should have gotten to go home alive too.”
“It was you or him. And I’m not sorry it was him.”
“Don’t say that. You don’t know that.”
“I know you,” Michael’s voice was strong and sure. “And you wouldn’t have pulled that trigger unless you absolutely had to. You could never hurt anyone unprovoked. It was you or him.”
Alex let out a shuddering breath. He wasn’t sure he believed Michael but he couldn’t deny the words helped. Alex didn’t say anything else and after a moment, Michael started up a running commentary on what he was doing.
“Manes.” Alex looked up to see Walker stood in the doorway. His eyes were on the hallway, respectfully not looking at Alex, but his five minutes were clearly up. Alex looked at the clock to find it read 4:12.
He cursed lowly. “Sorry,” he said to Walker. To Michael, he said, “I’ve gotta go.”
“Try to get some sleep,” Michael asked. “You sound tired.”
Alex felt his eyes slip closed. “Thank you.”
“Thank you,” Michael replied. “For staying alive.”
Alex didn’t know what to say to that so he hung up without another word. Walker gave him another minute to pull himself together before he stuck a hand out to help him up. Alex took it gratefully. “Thank you.” He wasn’t talking about the help.
“Don’t mention it,” Walker replied. He didn’t say another word as he escorted Alex outside where Henderson was waiting. The two men exchanged a look that Alex couldn’t decipher before Henderson was ushering him back to the barracks.
“Better?” He asked as they reached their bunks.
Alex nodded, surprised. “Yeah. I think I am.”
“Good. Now get some sleep. We might get an hour at this rate.”
“Thank you,” Alex whispered, Henderson was skipping his own precious sleep to stay up with Alex. The man just rolled his eyes and pointedly got comfy on his bunk. Alex’s lips twitched upwards as he followed suit.
---
“Sometimes I hate Isobel,” Michael opened with as soon as the call connected. It had been stewing in his head for days just begging to be let out.
Alex hesitated. “Why?”
Michael dropped his head back against the headrest and stared through his windshield at the stupid banner strung up in the middle of the main square. Congrats Graduates!
“I could’ve had my Master’s by now,” he said. He’d done his research. Four years of undergrad followed by the two year graduate program for agricultural engineering at UNM and he’d have two degrees under his belt as of yesterday. “I should’ve had my Master’s by now.”
“And how is that Isobel’s fault, exactly?”
Michael closed his eyes, the images of Isobel’s face that night in the cave flashing in his mind. “She couldn’t handle me leaving after high school. Had a freak out or whatever.”
“...that’s why you stayed?” Alex sounded disbelieving.
“She- she did something. Something stupid,” Michael ran a hand over his face. “I’m not saying it was the only reason I stayed but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a big part of it. I didn’t want her to do anything like that again. I couldn’t-” He cleared his throat. “I looked it up. UNM’s grad programs, I mean. They had the program I wanted and if I’d gone after high school I’d be done by now.”
“Apply again,” Alex urged.
Michael shook his head. “I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. You got a full ride the first time, you can do it again.”
Alex didn’t get it. Isobel hadn’t had any more blackouts since Rosa died but neither Michael nor Max had talked about leaving since then. Michael had no way of knowing if his leaving would just set her off again. He couldn’t take that chance. Not if he wasn’t there to shoulder the blame again. “I can’t.”
Alex exhaled loudly. “Why not?”
“I just can’t.”
“You can,” Alex told him earnestly. “You’re more than smart enough, Guerin. Any school would be lucky to have you, you just have to apply.” Michael scoffed. Alex groaned. “You’re wasting your mind on that ranch, Guerin. You could do so much more.”
Michael had heard all of this before. Didn’t make it easier to hear this time. “And what if I don’t want to? What if I’m happy on the ranch?”
“If you were happy on the ranch, you wouldn’t be hating Isobel right now,” Alex pointed out.
Michael hung up on him. He ignored Alex’s call a moment later, too.
---
Alex watched the guy leave, his clothes still haphazard from how quickly he’d pulled them on after Alex’s not so subtle hints to leave had finally registered.
“Are you allergic to sleeping next to someone?” Henderson laughed. “They never seem to stay very long.”
Alex shot him a glare and ignored the friendly ribbing from the other two guys sitting on his couch. He was well aware of his dating habits, or lack thereof, but that didn’t mean he wanted to hear about them from his friends.
He lasted about five minutes before he retreated back to his bedroom. The room reeked of sweat and sex and a strange man’s cologne and Alex threw open the windows and grabbed the can of Febreze, spraying liberally all over.
His phone sat untouched on his bedside table as he stripped the bed and tossed the soiled sheets into a corner to wash another day. It stared accusingly at him as he pulled out his clean bedding and diligently made the bed.
When the bed was made, Alex snatched his phone up, pulled the screen out of the window, and ducked outside to sit on the small roof over his front porch. He sucked in deep lungfuls of fresh air as he scrolled through his phone. After about ten minutes he gave up pretending that he wasn’t going to do what he knew he was going to do and pulled up his contacts.
Michael was number four on his most frequently contacted list. Alex thought that was actually a little low, especially recently, but he pressed Call and shimmied onto his back as the call connected.
The stars were bright tonight, the sky empty of clouds, and Alex found himself searching out the few constellations he knew as he listened to the phone ring.
“Not actually a good time,” Michael was out of breath when he answered. Alex’s stomach clenched. They always answered each other’s calls, no matter what they were doing. If Michael was really about to hang up on him for some-
“Michael!” It had been years but Alex still recognized Max Evans’ voice, though he’d never heard it sound quite like that. “Get back here!”
“One second! Don’t get your-”
“Michael!” And there was Isobel Evans. She sounded nearly as fed up as Max had.
Michael grumbled something at them, the phone clearly held away from his mouth. “Can I call you back in like five minutes?”
“Michael!” That was both Evans’ that time.
“Ten minutes?” Michael corrected.
Alex smothered the laugh that was bubbling in his throat. Nothing about this exchange was particularly funny. “That’s fine,” he assured Michael. It wasn’t like Alex was going anywhere.
“Thanks,” Michael sounded sincere as he hung up.
Alex stared at the dark screen for a long moment before he laid the phone on his chest and returned to stargazing.
“Yo Manes!” The call came from inside the house. “You still up?”
Alex didn’t answer. He wasn’t in the mood to socialize tonight.
It was almost twenty minutes before his phone rang and Alex answered it almost as soon as it started ringing. “So,” he greeted, dragging the word out in an obvious question.
“Don’t ask,” Michael pleaded. “I would like to forget the last half an hour ever happened.”
This time Alex did laugh. “Okay,” he agreed easily. It was easy not to push when he was a thousand miles away and the answer didn’t really matter.
“Thank you,” Michael sighed in relief. “Now. What’s up with you?”
“Not much,” Alex hedged.
Michael hummed mockingly. “Yep, of course, you’re right, you always call me at two in the morning because nothing’s up.”
“You used to let me lie to you,” Alex remarked mildly.
“I did,” Michael agreed. “I do.”
“Rough night?”
“We’re not talking about that, remember?”
“Of course not,” Alex agreed lightly.
They let the silence linger for a while before Michael sighed and launched into a riveting tale of Johnny-the-idiot-ranch-hand. Alex let him talk for the better part of the hour, part of him engrossed in the stories of Johnny’s sheer incompetence, before he felt ready to talk about why he’d actually called.
“Do you think I’m broken?”
Michael cut off mid word. “What? No. Why would you think that?”
“I can’t date,” Alex confessed. “Hell, I can’t really go on a date. I just- I can do sex just fine, I have no problem meeting guys and hooking up but anything more than that and I get the urge to run in the other direction.”
The line was silent for long enough that Alex had to check it was still connected. “Guerin?”
“Yeah,” Michael cleared his throat. “Yeah. I’m here. I, uh, I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Sorry?” Alex wasn’t sure if it was something he should apologize for. For all that they’d made a habit of this, the late night phone call, the ready listening ear, they’d never discussed matters of the heart. Not that he thought this was a matter of the heart, but it was similar enough he supposed.
“No, no, you don’t need to apologize,” Michael hurried to say. “I just wasn’t expecting it. But I’m good now.”
“Are you?” Alex arched an eyebrow even though Michael couldn’t see him.
“Yes,” Michael said. “And you are not broken, Alex Manes. Not in any way. So what if you’re not a serial dater? That’s fine.”
“I’m not a dater at all,” Alex reminded him.
“So? There’s nothing wrong with that. Just means you’ve got high standards.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah.”
Alex rolled his eyes. “Are you planning on extrapolating on that?”
Michael laughed lightly. “You’ve got standards, Manes. You don’t want to date because none of those guys are worth your time. You’re good at reading people, yeah? I’m sure if someone held your attention for longer than a fuck, you’d consider a date but none of them are worthy of it so you don’t.”
Alex hadn’t really thought of it that way, that maybe he just hadn’t liked any of the guys he’d met enough to want to date them. Or he had, but he’d dismissed it because how could no guy be worth dating? Well, no guy except… “You think quite highly of yourself, don’t you?”
“This isn’t about me,” Michael hedged.
“That’s not a no,” Alex observed.
“No, it’s not. But this really isn’t about me. There’s nothing wrong with you, Alex. I promise.”
Alex swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. “And I’m just supposed to take your word for it, huh?”
“Don’t you trust me?”
He did. “Should I?”
“...you either do or you don’t, Alex.” Michael’s voice was quiet.
“I do,” Alex confessed. Promised. “I do.”
---
“Michael,” Isobel scolded for the fourth time in ten minutes. And for the fourth time, Michael ignored her completely. When he reached for the bottle again she stretched across the table and snatched it from his fingertips. “Stop drinking.”
Michael turned his head slowly to stare at her. Uncaring if anyone was watching them he yanked the bottle from her grasp with a surge of his powers. It spilled all over both their laps but he paid it no mind as he poured himself another healthy portion. Isobel leapt from her seat with a horrified gasp. “Michael!”
Michael sipped his drink. A heavy hand on his shoulder splashed a little out of the glass and onto his already ruined jeans. “Michael,” came Max’s disappointed voice a moment later. “It’s not even dark outside yet.”
“Which would probably explain why I have half the bar to myself.” Michael toasted Max with the little that remained in his glass before tossing it back in one swallow. He reached for the bottle again to top it off.
“Why are you like this?” Max asked. He dropped into the seat next to Isobel with a heavy sigh. Michael glanced at him, saw the uniform firmly in place, and looked away. He wasn’t in the mood for Deputy Evans today.
“Max!” Isobel hissed. “If you’re gonna be an ass just leave. I’ve got this.”
Max raised an eyebrow. “Clearly.”
“I’ve-”
“How about you both leave?” Michael cut her off. He waved a hand at the door. “Don’t let me stop you.”
“Michael.” It was Isobel’s turn to sound disappointed and just like that Michael was over it. He stood up so fast his chair fell over and nearly took him with it. Michael reached for the edge of the table to steady himself and knocked the bottle to the floor in the process.
“Dammit.”
Max rolled his eyes as he stood. “I’ll pay for it.”
“I didn’t ask you to.” Michael glared up at him. Max ignored him and walked over to the bar to pay Maria. Isobel wasn’t looking at him so Michael took his chance and lurched towards the door. The ground moved slightly under him but he was used to it and adapted quickly.
“Michael!” Isobel’s yell got cut off by the slam of the door closing behind him.
Michael squinted when the sun hit his face. It honestly was a lot earlier than he usually drank but it wasn’t like he had a job to fill his time anymore so what did it matter. He pulled his phone out of his pocket as he staggered over to his truck. By the time he got the engine running he’d already listened to Alex’s voicemail twice.
“Michael!” Max came barrelling out the Pony’s front doors. “Do not drive!” Michael dropped the truck into drive and pulled out with a spray of dirt that may or may not have hit Max in the face.
He made it back to Foster Ranch without killing anyone or himself. He counted it as his achievement for the day. Once he got to his Airstream and saw the notice to vacate his parking spot on his door, he knew it would be his only one.
Michael crumpled it into a ball and tossed it over his shoulder. Sanders didn’t have any work for him right now but he might be willing to let Michael park the Airstream in the lot anyway. If he didn’t, Michael didn’t really have a backup plan but that was tomorrow’s problem. Truthfully, it was yesterday’s but Michael was nothing if not someone who could procrastinate.
He flopped onto his bed and called Alex for the third time. As it rang he dropped it onto his chest and waited for the voicemail message. It was the only time he got to hear Alex’s voice these days.
“You know when someone doesn’t answer it’s not usually an invitation to keep calling.” Alex’s voice was raspy and gruff but it was the most beautiful sound Michael had heard in days, if not longer.
“Alex!” He shot up in the bed and nearly dropped the phone. After fumbling with it for a few precious seconds he pressed it to his ear. “You’re okay!”
There was a pause. “Yeah.”
Michael’s heart sped up. “That’s not exactly your reassuring voice, Alex.”
“I’m alive,” Alex told him needlessly. He was talking to him, he could tell he was alive. “Henderson’s not. Elcott’s not. Markle’s not.” Michael listened to Alex take a deep breath. He pressed a fist into his eyes. Henderson and Elcott he had heard of from Alex a bunch, Markle he didn’t know. “My leg’s gone.”
Michael’s eyes shot open. “What?”
“My right leg. It was- they couldn’t save it.” Michael had no idea what to say. “Can we- I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve been talking about it for days, it’s all anyone wants to talk about and I just-”
Michael desperately wanted to talk about it. “Wyatt Long got arrested again yesterday; public indecency.”
Alex’s exhale sounded relieved. “What’d he do?”
“Decided it would be a good idea to take a shower in the high school locker room. During school hours.”
“Why the fu-”
“He was drunk. Thought he was late for football practice. Or at least that’s the story I got from Max. The official story is it was all just a big misunderstanding and the Sheriff’s Department is ‘very sorry’ for the trouble they caused him.”
“Man,” Alex snorted. “Must be nice to own the town.”
“Right?” Michael slowly lowered back onto the bed and closed his eyes. Alex’s voice washed over him. “Some guys just have all the luck.”
Alex hummed. When he didn’t say anything more, Michael launched into another story. And then another one. And another.
It was easily half an hour later, in a lull between Roswell updates, that Alex finally spoke. “I bought a house.”
Michael’s breath caught in his throat. He swallowed around it. “Oh yeah? I thought you said you were renting only, that there was no point in trying to settle down when you were just going to have to move again soon.”
“Yeah,” Alex agreed. “But my service is almost up. And with my leg...”
“Right. So, uh, which one’s the lucky city?” How far away was Alex going to be?
“You remember Lily Pierce?” Alex asked suddenly.
Michael furrowed his brow. “Cheerleader? Parents were never home so she always threw the parties?”
“That’s the one.”
“What about her?”
“I bought the house two doors down from her place.”
Michael’s heart stuttered. “That’s in Roswell.”
Alex let out a huff. It sounded vaguely amused. “So my realtor said.”
“You bought a house in Roswell?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I did.”
Michael wasn’t sure how Alex expected him to react to that. “When’s your service up?”
“Not for another year.”
“Captain Manes!” A distant voice scolded. “You’re not supposed to be up!”
“Alex?”
“Shit, Guerin. I’ve gotta go.”
“Alex!” But Alex had already hung up.
---
Michael paced outside the Airstream, phone clenched in his fist as it rang. He counted the rings and answered on the last one.
“Thanks for the heads up,” he greeted.
Alex sighed. “You knew I was back in town.”
“From Isobel!” Michael yelled. He’d found out from a flyer on Isobel’s dining room table denoting a welcome home parade for resident town hero Alex Manes. Not because Alex had bothered to tell him himself.
“I was going to tell you.”
“Clearly.”
Alex was quiet. “You’re angry.”
“Damn right, I’m angry! You blow back into town without a word only to show up at my door with your dad? Alex!”
“Not about that,” Alex dismissed. “You’re upset about that but not this angry.”
He was right, Michael was more angry about everything going on with Max and Liz fucking Ortecho, but that didn’t mean Michael could admit it. “Right,” he scoffed. “Because you know me so well.”
“Okay, I’m not talking to you while you’re like this.”
“Fuck you.”
Alex hung up. Michael’s curses split the air but there was no one around to hear them. He’s not too proud to admit that he threw a minor tantrum, dust kicking up around him as he used his powers on the lawn chairs he hadn’t packed up yet. They went tumbling across the distance until they crashed into the side of his truck.
The loud clang they made when they collided startled him out of his anger. With a disgruntled sigh, he trudged over and grabbed the chairs, folding them up and tossing them in the bed of the truck. He had to pack everything up anyway now that the land had been sold. No point putting them back out.
Once that was taken care of he felt calmer. And slightly ashamed. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Alex back.
He answered on the second ring. “You still pissy?”
“Fuck you,” Michael replied. It was decidedly more teasing and less angry than the last time he’d said it. Alex clearly heard the difference.
“Good. What’s up?”
“Just some bullshit with Max thinking he rules the world.”
“The usual, then?”
Michael snorted. “Nah. Little more than the usual. He, uh, he decided to go around sharing secrets that weren’t his.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault.”
“It’s a shitty thing to happen.”
“Yeah,” Michael exhaled loudly. “So. You’re back.”
Alex paused. “I’m back.”
“How long?”
“Don’t know yet. I’m finishing up my service and then, well, I’ve got the house, so…”
“How is it?” He’d driven by it once, right after Alex told him he bought it, but he’d never been inside.
“Looks like crap,” Alex laughed. “I should have gotten someone to come clean it. Or, you know, furnish it. I’ve got a bed and one folding chair.”
“You’ve been back for two weeks.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Clearly.”
They both fell silent. Michael could tell Alex had something on the tip of his tongue but whatever it was, he didn’t say it.
“You going to the reunion?” Michael finally asked, when the silence had dragged out too long.
“Reunion?”
“Yeah, Izzy put together our ten year reunion. Saturday night? Pretty sure Maria’s going.”
“Uh,” Alex stuttered. “I guess? I haven’t actually been to see Maria yet so it would be a time to catch up, I guess.” Michael definitely didn’t read anything into the fact that Alex hadn’t seen his best friend since coming home either. At least he wasn’t avoiding Michael specifically.
“I’ll text you the details.”
“That’s fine, I can get them from Maria.”
Michael tensed. “Right. Sure.”
“Look, Guerin-” Alex sighed and stopped. “It’s late.” It was always late, with them.
“Yeah, sure. Good night.”
He hung up before Alex could reply, some of that earlier anger still simmering under the surface.
---
Alex stared out at the desert behind his house and fingered his phone in his pocket. He wanted to call Michael but he wasn’t sure he could. Not after how he’d left things earlier.
This was the problem with coming home, he thought idly. They’d made a relationship that worked for them and it worked in part because they didn’t see each other very often. Barely a month in and he’d fucked it up.
After staring into the darkness for too long, Alex gave it up and went to bed. He spent over an hour tossing and turning before accepting that sleep wasn’t coming. At least not easily.
His phone was on the bedside table, easy to reach from the bed. Alex stared at it for a long moment before giving up and unplugging it from the charger. He told himself he was just going to play a game but he wasn’t surprised to find himself pulling up Michael’s contact. He stared at his name until the screen blurred and then he pressed Call.
He didn’t even know what time it was. It might not be late enough for this kind of thing.
Michael answered but didn’t say anything. Alex listened to his breathing for a few minutes, equally unwilling to talk. For once, Michael didn’t take the silence as an invitation to ramble and instead stayed quiet.
“My dad’s a dick,” Alex offered eventually.
“He is,” Michael agreed readily. He didn’t say anything more.
Alex wanted to apologize, wanted to take back what he’d said earlier at the drive-in but the words got caught in his throat. “I’m not scared of him,” he said instead. “I’m not,” he added firmly.
“No one ever said you were,” Michael replied. “No one could.” He made it sound simple, like it was a fact. Alex wasn’t sure if it made him feel better or worse.
The line was quiet again, the silence only broken by the sound of Michael yawning.
Alex closed his eyes. “I don’t care about the copper wire,” he confessed. It came out so quietly he wasn’t sure Michael heard him.
On the other end of the line, Michael let out a breath, long and slow. “I know, Alex.” And then he hung up.
---
Michael sped away from the hospital, trying to leave the image of his broken siblings behind him. Isobel seemed confident that she needed to be there, that it was the only place safe for her, and Michael was trying not to argue with her but he didn’t understand. He didn’t understand needing a door with an exterior lock to feel safe. And Max was half dead on his feet these days and Michael couldn’t deal with them both. He was never supposed to be the strong one.
The sun was shining overhead but Michael pulled out his phone anyway. It rang and rang until eventually he got Alex’s voicemail. He pulled the phone away from his ear, stared at it, then called again.
“Guerin,” Alex greeted, his voice hushed. “I have a meeting with a general in less than a minute, can it wait?” Michael let out a shaky breath.
“Captain Manes,” he heard a voice call. It sounded authoritative. “Yes, sir,” Alex replied, his voice faint.
Michael prepared to be hung up on but Alex’s voice was suddenly loud in his ear again. “Guerin?”
“Yeah,” Michael replied. “Yeah, it can wait.” Still, Alex hesitated. “Go to your meeting, Alex,” he urged. “I can wait.”
“Okay,” Alex said slowly. “I’ll call you back when I’m done,” he promised just before the line went dead.
Michael made it home and through two oil changes before his phone rang. He ignored Sanders’ look, wiped his hands, and walked away pressing his phone to his ear. “Hey,” he greeted, knowing who it was without even checking the caller ID. “How was your meeting?”
“Long,” Alex huffed. “Generals are entitled assholes.”
Michael raised his eyebrows. Alex wasn’t overly fond of the Air Force but he was usually respectful of it and the men and women he served with. “Tough day, huh?”
“Could be better,” Alex agreed. “You?”
“Isobel committed herself to the psych ward,” Michael admitted. “She’s been having blackouts for the past couple of weeks and she doesn’t know where she goes or what she does and it’s freaking her out.”
“Can they help her?” Alex asked. He didn’t ask if she was okay or if Michael was and for that Michaelw as grateful. He wasn’t okay and he suspected Alex knew it but they didn’t need to talk about it.
“I don’t know,” Michael exhaled heavily. “But she figured it’s better than waking up in the middle of the desert again.”
“Hmm,” Alex mused. “Waking up the desert with no memory or sleeping in an uncomfortable bed in a locked room you can’t get out of…” Michael pictured him weighing his hands like a scale.
“It makes her feel better,” Michael shrugged. He didn’t get it either but it was Isobel’s call.
“That’s all that matters,” Alex agreed. He paused. “Want to hear about this guy Jones? He stole a developmental vehicle they’re testing out and wrecked it last night and now he’s trying to stop the brass from figuring it out.” It wasn’t how they usually did this, Alex talking his ear off, but it sounded really good right about now.
“Yeah,” Michael agreed. “Tell me about Jones.”
The sun went down while Alex talked and Michael felt the words ease some of the ache in his shoulders. It was nice, he realized, to hear Alex’s voice. It didn’t matter what he said, Michael was tuning most of it out, but it didn’t matter.
---
Alex had just started getting ready for bed when the phone rang. At first, seeing Michael’s name flash on the screen, Alex was tempted to ignore it. He’d spent the entire day waiting for Michael to come home so they could talk only for him not to show up. But it was after midnight and a phone call after midnight was always answered. It was their unspoken rule.
“Guerin,” he answered in a clipped voice.
“He’s dead,” Michael gasped.
Alex froze. “Who’s dead?”
“Max.”
Alex stood up from the bed and started grabbing his things. “Where are you?”
“I don’t- I don’t know. I dropped Izzy off and I was going home but-”
“Stay there,” Alex told him. He snatched his keys off of the table and yanked the front door open. “I’m coming.”
“Don’t-”
“I’m coming,” Alex repeated firmly as he started the car.
“Don’t hang up,” Michael requested weakly.
Alex closed his eyes briefly as he took off towards Isobel’s house. “I won’t. Michael, I won’t.” And he didn’t. He started humming as he drove, the old chords forever on the tip of his tongue. He’d never managed to put words to them, not in the decade he’d been writing the music, but he knew the melody like the back of his hand.
He made it to Isobel’s house and immediately turned in the direction of Sanders’. It was only five minutes or so before his headlights picked up the familiar form of Michael’s old truck parked on the shoulder. Alex parked behind him and hung up the phone before getting out and hurrying over to Michael’s door.
Michael was staring at his dark phone when Alex reached his window. There was a look of utter confusion on it, like he didn’t know what had happened. He turned that look on Alex when he opened the door. “Alex?”
“Hey,” he greeted softly.
Michael stared at him for a moment longer before he started leaning towards him. Alex wrapped an arm around his shoulders and hugged him awkwardly as Michael planted his face in Alex’s neck. “Max is dead.” Alex was about to ask what happened when Michael continued. “Rosa’s back. He brought her back.”
Alex froze. He genuinely did not know what to say to that.
Michael pawed at the back of his head, his fingers scrabbling at the fine hairs at the nape of his neck. “You stopped singing.” His hand felt different than normal but Alex ignored it.
Alex immediately started humming again. Bit by bit, he felt Michael relax against him. The positioning was uncomfortable for both of them but Michael didn’t seem inclined to move and Alex couldn’t bring himself to suggest it. They stood there for the better part of an hour before Michael unfolded himself.
“It’s late,” he remarked. His face was already starting to shutter, his grief from a moment ago hidden away. “You should get home, get some sleep. You’ve got work tomorrow.”
“Guerin-”
Michael pushed his shoulder gently until Alex took a step back and he could close the door. Alex didn’t stop him as Michael gave him a tiny, crooked smile and a nod in thanks and drove away.
The next time they saw each other, neither said a word about that night, silently agreeing to pretend the last time they’d seen each other was in the Airstream before Max and Noah died and Rosa was resurrected.
---
Michael got lost in the music. His fingers were cramped and his arms were tired and he barely noticed. Every now and then he’d shake out his hand, maybe run the fingers of his right hand across just to convince himself that his eyes weren’t lying, but then he’d go right back to the guitar. He’d stolen it from the Pony a few nights ago and he’d been playing it ever since.
Turns out not everything is like riding a bike. Michael was having to relearn everything, recondition his fingers to work like they’re supposed to, and he was enjoying every second of it. Part of him wanted to keep it to himself, to hoard this kernel of joy and not let the world ruin it like it had ruined everything else, but part of him also ached to share it. To not be alone in this too.
Michael missed a chord and stopped to rub the cramps out of his fingers. A quick glance at his phone showed the time was 1:57am so he unlocked it and called Alex without a second’s thought.
“Guerin?” Alex’s voice was rough with sleep but the worry was evident. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Michael promised. It was somewhat of a lie, plenty of things were wrong, but nothing at this moment. “Listen.” He put the phone on speaker, set it down next to him, and started to play. It was rough, a far cry from what he used to be able to do, but it was also worlds better than anything he’d done in a decade.
He ran through a few songs, old favorites that he’d first learned in high school, before his fingers took over and started playing something new. Well. Not new.
Over the phone, Alex inhaled sharply in recognition but Michael didn’t stop playing. He’d been listening to this melody for ten years and his fingers knew the notes faster than he could think of them.
Finally, the song came to an end. In its wake there was only silence.
“That’s my song,” Alex said softly. “You played my song.” Michael didn’t know what to say so he didn’t say anything. “You played-” Alex cut himself off. He cleared his throat before continuing, “it sounded amazing, Michael.”
Michael closed his eyes and ducked his head. “It wasn’t,” he objected. He didn’t comment on the rare use of his first name.
“It was,” Alex repeated. “I’ve never played it before.” He quieted. ”I’m glad I could hear you do it.”
Michael squeezed his left hand into his fist, relaxed it, then did it again. “I’m glad I could play it for you,” he replied softly.
They sat in silence for a moment longer. “Okay,” Alex eventually said, at a more normal volume. “Now play Free Bird.”
“Fuck you,” Michael laughed. “Let me work my way up.”
“Fine,” Alex scoffed. “Play Thnks fr th Mmrs.”
Michael rolled his eyes but complied. The only reason he knew it was because Alex had been obsessed with it in high school so he supposed it was only fitting.
They stayed on the phone for a while, Alex making requests and Michael doing his best to fulfill them, before his hand cramped up too much for him to continue.
“Hey,” Alex said softly, just before Michael could hang up. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For letting me listen.” He hung up before Michael could think of a reply.
---
Alex eased the car door closed, not wanting to interrupt the quiet night. It wasn’t that late, was actually pretty early if you counted before midnight as early, but Alex kept to his routine anyway. Up ahead, a body lounged against the wall, a dark cowboy hat pulled low. Alex ran his eyes over the familiar form, taking in every detail he could as he came to a stop next to him.
Michael slowly looked up at him. “You came,” he greeted, like he couldn’t quite believe it.
“You asked me to,” Alex reminded him. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t the middle of the night. Michael had called and Alex had answered. It’s what they did.
---
Michael wasn’t sure why (that’s a lie) but he found himself pulling into Alex’s driveway three hours after he’d said goodnight to Maria. She’d asked him to stay over but he’d made some excuse he couldn’t even remember to go back to the Airstream but instead he’d driven around for hours until finding himself here.
At Alex’s house.
They didn’t do this. If they needed each other in the middle of the night, they called. They didn’t show up. Not in the last 18 months since Alex moved back had they done this. But here Michael was.
He got out of his truck and let the door fall closed. It was loud in the quiet night but Michael didn’t care. Alex’s neighbors were far enough away that they shouldn’t be too bothered by it and waking Alex was sort of the whole point of being here. Wasn’t it?
Michael made his way to Alex’s patio, his steps heavy, and dropped into one of his chairs. The metal squeaked across the bricks at the motion but Michael hardly noticed it. He planted his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. It wasn’t long, or maybe it was, before the front door opened and Alex stepped outside. Michael heard him close the door before making his way over to him, his crutches sounding different on the brick.
The chair next to him pulled back and a moment later Alex dropped into it. He set his crutches to the side and placed a bottle of bourbon on the table. Michael glanced at it. It was his favorite brand. Alex hated it.
“Maria has her powers because her family was experimented on at Caulfield,” Michael greeted. “And the more she uses them the more they hurt her. It’s what happened to Mimi. It’s why Mimi gave her a necklace to block her powers.”
He looked up when Alex didn’t say anything and found himself staring at Alex’s stunned face while he processed his words. “She didn’t tell you,” he realized. Alex shook his head. “Shit,” Michael cursed lowly. He’d come here to vent not to drop a bomb on Alex. “Sorry. I figured she would.” Alex shook his head again. His fingers turned white with how hard he was squeezing the arm of his chair.
Michael reached out and gently unhooked his fingers. The second Alex’s hand was free, he twisted in his own and held on tight. He knew how Alex felt about Caulfield, knew he felt guilty for his family’s actions there. He really hadn’t meant to just unload on him like that.
After a short while Alex’s grip on Michael’s hand eased and he started to breathe easier. “Okay,” he said. “What else?”
Michael stilled. “Who said there’s something else?” Alex just looked at him. Michael tried to meet his gaze but he couldn’t, finally relenting, “I don’t want her to use her powers but she wants to. She doesn’t seem to care that it could hurt her or kill her.”
Alex didn’t say anything at first, his grip tightening on Michael’s again though this time it was in comfort. “It’s her life, Guerin,” he finally said. His voice was harder than Michael was used to at this time of night. Michael opened his mouth to reply but Alex talked over him. “It is. Just because you’re dating her does not mean you get to make those choices for her. I’m not saying you have to like it or ignore the issue, but the decision’s hers. Like it or not, it’s not your call.”
Michael yanked his hand away and stood up. “So I’m just supposed to sit here and watch her self-destruct?”
Alex looked at him evenly. “If that’s what she decides to do? Yes.”
Michael shook his head. “No. That’s not gonna happen.”
“It’s not easy to watch someone self-destruct,” Alex said quietly. His voice still wasn’t any softer. Michael stifled a flinch when he realized what Alex was talking about. “But it’s not your call. Sometimes all you can do is sit back and watch.”
Michael froze, thought about what he’d said, and dismissed it. “No,” he shook his head again. With that, he spun on his heel and went back to his truck.
Alex didn’t call after him.
---
Alex knew where Michael was, knew who was with him right now, and still he called him.
“Hmm,” Michael greeted quietly. In the background, there was a rustle of sheets and Maria’s questioning murmur. Alex forced himself to listen to it as Michael made his way out of his girlfriend’s bedroom.
As Michael wordlessly made his way outside, the quiet click of doors opening and shutting revealing his path, Alex raised the bottle to his lips and took another long sip. He should stop, he knew he should. He’d passed too much at least an hour ago, but he didn’t care.
“Alex?” Michael finally asked. It was otherwise silent on his end.
“Do you have any idea how much it hurts?” Alex asked. He was pretty sure he wasn’t slurring but Michael’s next words quickly corrected him.
“You’re drunk.” He didn’t say it like a question because it wasn’t.
“I spent the day with you and your girlfriend,” Alex reminded him. “Yes, I’m drunk.”
“Alex…”
“Just talk,” Alex ordered. He didn’t want to talk about it, especially not with Michael, but he needed Michael’s voice in his ear. Over a decade and he’d still never found something that helped even half as much as letting Michael ramble in his ear until his thoughts settled and he could breathe again.
Michael didn’t say anything right away. There was a pause long enough that Alex was almost about to plead with him before Michael got with the program.
“There’s a group of women who like to come by and get their cars fixed any time it’s really hot outside,” he started. “Isobel calls them the Real Housewives of Roswell…”
Alex closed his eyes and let the words wash over him. Michael never raised his voice above a murmur, his tone light and gentle, and at some point Alex capped the bottle and set it aside. He let Michael talk for almost two hours (at one point he’s fairly certain Michael started reciting the plot of his latest tv show but Alex wasn’t going to call him on it) until he was cut off by another voice.
“Everything ok?” Maria asked. “Are you coming back to bed?”
Alex hung up before he heard Michael’s answer.
---
Michael wasn’t sure he’d ever get over the sound of the ocean. It was late, very late, and the beach was deserted except for them, and the only sound in the world was that of the waves crashing gently against the sand.
“Heartbreak sucks,” Liz huffed. She was carving smooth circles in the sand around herself with her feet. It was the first thing she’d said since she’d joined Michael an hour before.
Michael hummed questioningly.
She gave him a sad smile and turned to look out at the water. This far out, the only light came from the moon and it made the waves shimmer. “When I first got here, I used to come out here all the time. Used to stare at the water like it held all the answers.” Her laugh was brittle and self-deprecating. “Like the ocean could fix my relationship for me.”
Michael pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his arms on them. “I’m not sure it’s that powerful.”
She smiled. “No. But sometimes it feels that way. Like if I spent enough time here it would wash away all of the bad stuff and leave all the good. All the parts that love Max enough to fix are problems.”
“Yeah,” Michael sighed. “I get that.”
Liz bumped his shoulder with hers. “You’ll be okay, Mikey. If you and Maria are meant to be, you will be. It’s just a few rough patches.”
Michael couldn’t help himself, he laughed. Liz stared at him in surprise. “Yeah, no, Maria and I are done. It’s not a rough patch.”
She furrowed her brow. “You don’t know that.”
“Yeah, I do. And so does she. We’re not meant for each other, no matter that we love each other.”
Liz frowned and shifted over to rest her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
Michael hummed. He couldn’t quite bring himself to agree with her, even though he knew that’s what she was probably expecting. Maria had done the right thing ending things between them. He’d tried to deny it at first but he’d quickly come to accept it. They really weren’t meant for each other. Maria was meant for better men than him and he was meant for one specific person. The rest of the world paled in comparison and Michael had finally stopped denying it. To himself at least.
“You’ll find someone,” Liz assured him. “You deserve to be happy, Michael.”
Michael smiled. “So do you. Even if it is with my idiot brother.”
Liz’s lips quirked upwards but she didn’t say anything. They sat in silence watching the waves for a while before Liz sat up with a groan. “I need sleep.” Michael sat where he was as she stumbled to her feet and held out her hand. “You coming?”
Michael shook his head. “I’m good here. Not like I have to work in the morning,” he teased.
Liz gave him a searching look before shrugging. “You know the way back, right?” Michael nodded and she left. He heard her trudging through the sand behind him until she hit the road.
When the sound of her car had faded into the night, Michael dug his phone out of his pocket and called Alex.
“How’s California?”
“I like the ocean,” Michael replied. “It’s peaceful.”
“It is,” Alex agreed. “I always felt small, though. Standing on a beach. The entire world out there in front of you and you can’t see any of it because there’s just water.”
“Yeah,” Michael breathed. “Yeah.”
“How’s Liz?”
“She’s good. Obsessed with her work. Misses Max for some reason.”
Alex laughed. “Can’t imagine why she’d do that.”
“I can,” Michael confesses, the night giving him courage. “I miss you.”
Alex inhaled sharply. “Guerin-”
“Hey, it’s after midnight, doesn’t count, right?” Michael cut him off. He wasn’t ready for the big conversation just yet.
“No lies after midnight,” Alex reminded him.
“Who said I was lying?” The next wave brushed dangerously close to his toes. Michael didn’t move. There was a voice on the other end of the phone, faint but recognizable. “Is that Forrest?”
“...yeah,” Alex muttered. “Hold on.” There was a shift and then the sound was muffled like Alex had covered the receiver. “‘Night,” Michael heard him say, followed by what sounded like a kiss.
“You sure you don’t want me to stay?” Forrest asked.
“No, I’ve got an early morning,” Alex hedged. “No point.”
“Okay.” Another kiss. “Good night.”
Michael waited until he heard the door close and the sound cleared up before speaking. “Not up to sleepovers, yet?”
“No,” Alex replied. Michael wasn’t sure if it was an answer or an order but either way Alex’s tone left no room for discussion so Michael dropped it. Problem was, he didn’t know what else to say. The mood from earlier was gone. Alex cleared his throat. “I miss you too.”
Michael felt his lips turn up in a helpless smile. “Yeah?”
Alex hummed. “I’ve kinda been wanting to show you the ocean for years now. I’m a little annoyed I didn’t get to.”
“Well,” Michael swallowed. “I hear there’s an entirely different ocean on the other side of the country.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Just something to consider.”
“Good to know.”
Silence fell over them again. Normally this is when Alex would start humming but Michael wasn’t sure he could take it right now. Not now that he knew the words to go with the song.
“Night, Alex,” he finally said. “I’ll be back next week.”
“Good night, Michael.”
They hung up. Michael stared at his phone, trying hard not to think about how much softer Alex had sounded telling him good night than when he’d said it to Forrest. It wouldn’t do him any good to compare himself to Alex’s boyfriend. Their time was now. His and Alex’s would come. He believed that.
He had to.
---
Forrest snuffled and reached for him as he got out of bed. Alex paused and waited to make sure he hadn’t woken up before he grabbed his crutches and hauled himself upright.
Navigating out of his bedroom in the dark with his phone tucked under his chin and both crutches in his hands while trying not to wake up the man sleeping in his bed was harder than he’d anticipated but Alex managed it. In the hallway, he paused just long enough to ease the door closed behind him before making his way outside.
It was late, late enough that Alex almost expected to see the beginnings of the dawn on the horizon, but he hadn’t been able to sleep yet. Tonight was the first time Forrest had stayed over, the first time Alex had had to share his bed with someone other than Michael for longer than a few hours, and he wasn’t dealing with it as well as he’d hoped he would.
He didn’t even hesitate before he called Michael.
“Alex?” Michael sounded groggy.
“Fuck you,” Alex replied. He dug the palm of his free hand into his eye.
“What did I do now?” He sounded simultaneously wide awake and more tired than he had a moment before.
“He’s not you.”
“Alex-”
“You got to move on, why can’t I? Why can’t I make this work? Why can’t I be with someone who’s not you?”
“Alex-”
Alex hung up.
---
It was late when Alex showed up at the Airstream. The fire was mostly embers and Michael was on his second and last beer of the night. When Alex got out of his car, Michael put his beer down and stood to greet him. He meant to meet him halfway but Alex was quicker on his feet and met Michael before he’d gotten more than a handful of steps. The last gasps of the fire provided little light but what light there was danced across Alex’s face.
“It’s late,” Michael greeted. He’d been back from California for almost two weeks and this was the first time Michael had seen him since then.
“Yeah,” Alex agreed. He looked at Michael with a strange look in his eyes. If Michael didn’t know any better he’d say Alex came here for a reason. A very specific reason that didn’t involve a lot talking. “It’s almost four.” He stared at Michael until Michael got it. What happened in the early hours before dawn, when the night was at its peak, didn’t count. They’d scraped together a decade long relationship on that premise alone. The secrets, the fears, the hopes, the dreams, anything confessed across a phone line when the moon was high in the sky, didn’t count. Not really. Sure, lately they’d expanded that to in person conversations but Alex wasn’t here for a conversation and he wanted the same rules to apply. What happened between them at this time of night only existed in the here and now. It didn’t carry over into the daylight.
Michael knew it was probably a bad idea. As they’d both said many a time, their relationship involved too much sex and too little talking when they were actually together and that had been their downfall. They were doing better lately but they weren’t there yet and Michael had no idea how introducing sex would impact them now. And that didn’t even take into account the fact that Alex still had a boyfriend who wasn’t Michael. But if Alex wasn’t going to mention that part, neither was Michael. He took one careful step towards Alex. “So it is,” he agreed.
Alex waited a second, searching his face for confirmation, before he lunged forward and kissed him. His hands went straight to Michael’s hair, tangling in the curls at the nape of his neck while Michael clutched at his waist and pressed them as close together as they could possibly be.
They lost themselves in each other for long enough that when Michael finally pulled back to catch a breath, even the embers had died off. Alex trailed his lips down his neck and found that one spot that drove Michael crazy. The spot that no one else had ever found. “Alex,” he moaned. Alex’s only reaction was to start leading Michael backwards until his back hit the side of the Airstream with a gentle thud. Michael braced himself against it, cupped Alex’s face and pulled his lips back up to his.
Michael lost his shirt and his boots right there and Alex’s shirt found its way to the ground as they maneuvered the two steps it took to get to the door. They had to separate to get inside and Michael felt like he could hardly breathe during those few seconds. When Alex was finally inside, Michael pulled him close. It made walking back to the bed difficult but neither attempted to pull away again.
When they finally did, Alex didn’t go far. He sat on the edge of the bed and stared at his prosthetic for long enough that Michael decided to press his luck. “Stay,” he asked softly. Alex’s shoulders tensed and his eyes closed. “It’s still dark out,” Michael pointed out. “Sun’s not gonna come up for hours.”
That made Alex look back at him and Michael couldn’t help but kiss him again, his fingers sliding through Alex’s sweaty hair to hold him close. “Stay.”
Alex pulled away again to fish his phone out of his pants and set an alarm but then he was back in Michael’s arms. He still hadn’t said more than five words since he showed up but Michael didn’t care. Not yet anyway.
Whether or not either of them got any sleep was a question neither was inclined to ask nor answer but when Alex’s alarm went off just as the sky was starting to lighten outside his window, neither moved. They stayed where they were, Alex half on top of Michael, his fingers reaching up to tangle in his curls. Michael was busy trailing a finger up and down Alex’s arm.
Eventually, though, the sky got light enough to force Alex into action. “Sun’s up,” he murmured. He paused and considered the view out the window. “Well. Almost.” He kissed Michael, slow and thorough, before pulling away completely.
Michael watched silently as Alex got dressed. When Alex was ready, sans his shirt which was still outside, he stopped and considered Michael still laying in the bed. With another glance out the window, he leaned down and kissed Michael one last time before turning and leaving without another word.
---
Michael didn’t hear from Alex for days after the night they spent together. It wasn’t too surprising nor was it unusual; their calls had never been an overly frequent occurrence and their paths didn’t cross in town much. But still, it made Michael antsy. He knew the point of it was that they wouldn’t talk about it, wouldn’t even mention it, but dammit, Michael had questions. He needed to know what it meant, both in the present and for the future, and whether or not he should be prepared for it to happen again.
He was still trying to figure out to bring it up with Alex when the opportunity dropped into his lap. Liz’s welcome back party at the Crashdown started five minutes ago and he was running late. After spending too long searching for a parking space, he hurried around the corner to the diner only to find Alex and Forrest just ahead of him. Alex’s shoulders were tense and there was a careful distance between the two men but they were still clearly together.
“Alex,” Michael called before he could stop himself. Alex froze in his tracks as Forrest turned to greet Michael. Michael nodded at Forrest in hello and waited for Alex to turn around. He eventually did, at first not quite looking at him before clearly forcing himself to meet his eyes.
“Guerin,” he greeted. “We’re all late,” he reminded them as he started to take careful steps towards the diner entrance. Forrest offered Michael a strained smile before following him and suddenly Michael was done.
He took his phone out of his pocket and called Alex.
The ringtone sounded loud and sharp and Forrest looked at Alex in surprise. “Since when do you have the volume on?”
Alex put a hand on his pocket over his phone and didn’t answer. They all stood there as Alex waited for the phone to stop ringing. Taking mercy on him, Michael ended the call, watched Alex’s shoulders relax, and called again.
This time, Alex had a hand on the door when his phone went off and his knuckles went white around it. “Are you going to answer that?” Forrest asked.
Alex sighed heavily and nodded. “Yeah, okay.” He pulled his phone out and put it to his ear. “Not now,” was all he said, his voice echoing through Michael’s phone, before hanging up and trying to tuck it away again.
Michael called him back.
Alex let out an actual groan of frustration before turning around. “Forrest, we’ll meet you inside.” Forrest looked between them before nodding slowly and stepping around Alex and into the diner. When the door shut behind him Alex led Michael around the corner and across the street for a modicum of privacy.
“It’s daytime,” Alex pointed out.
Michael looked up at the sun shining above them and nodded. “I thought that’s what the sun meant.”
“Michael,” Alex huffed. “What do you need, right now?”
“Answers,” Michael replied simply.
“It was 4am,” Alex reminded him. “What happens at 4am stays there. We don’t talk about it, we don’t ask questions, we don’t fucking bring it up in the middle of the day.”
“Maybe we should.”
“No.” Alex shook his head. “You don’t get to change the rules now.”
“I’m not trying to change the rules! I’m trying to understand.”
“Understand what?!” Alex shot back. “It was a 4am thing. It doesn’t mean anything.” Michael was stunned silent and Alex took advantage of it to walk past him. “We’re late for Liz’s lunch.”
Michael shook his head and spun. “It meant something!” Michael yelled after him. Alex stopped in his tracks. Just ahead, their friends turned the corner, clearly looking for them but Michael ignored them. “Of course it meant something, Alex, it always means something! And I am sick and tired of us pretending that it doesn’t.” Alex turned slowly to face him as Michael closed the distance between them. “Every single phone call,” he said quietly but earnestly. “They meant something. They mean something.” He shook his head. “They’re not nothing,” he pleaded gently.
“They’ve never been nothing,” Alex agreed softly.
A weight lifted off his chest and Michael breathed a little easier. “Maybe I am trying to change the rules but I think the rules need to change,” Michael said. “We can’t not talk about those things. About-”
“Michael-” Alex cut him off.
“Alex.”
Alex turned his head slightly to look over his shoulder and Michael was suddenly reminded of their audience. Forrest, Kyle, Maria, and Liz were standing on the corner staring at them. “Now’s not the time,” Alex finished.
Suddenly, the last thing Michael wanted to do was sit through a lunch with all their friends and Alex’s boyfriend. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” He stepped around Alex, careful not to touch him, and walked over to their friends. He greeted Liz with a quick hug. “Welcome home, Liz. I’m afraid I’m gonna have to miss your lunch.”
“We’ll do something another time,” Liz agreed easily. He nodded at her and crossed the street to his truck, pulling away before anyone could even think of calling after him.
---
Alex heard Michael pull away and didn’t move. He waited until three sets of footsteps walked away and he knew there was only one person left behind him. Still, he hesitated before turning around.
“So,” Forrest started. “I think it’s safe to say this thing between us has run its course.”
“Forrest,” Alex started but Forrest held up a hand to stop him.
“It’s okay, Alex. I knew we weren’t going to last forever. But we had some good times and I don’t regret it.”
“I didn’t want it to end like this,” Alex told him sincerely.
Forrest cocked his head slightly. “Where did you go three nights ago?” Alex looked away. “It was the first night you agreed to stay over at my place but you disappeared for hours, snuck back in after sunrise. Where’d you go, Alex?” His voice was soft with understanding but Alex heard the hurt in it.
He couldn’t lie. “I went to Michael.”
Forrest nodded like it was exactly what he expected to hear. “Wasn’t just a chat was it?” Alex shook his head. “He’s who you’re meant to be with.”
“Forrest, this was real.” Alex needed him to know.
“I know it was. But I’m not Michael Guerin so it was never going to work.” Alex didn’t know what to say to that except-
“I’m sorry.”
Forrest swallowed thickly and nodded. “Yeah. Okay.” He stepped forward and pressed a kiss to Alex’s cheek. “See you around Alex.”
And then he was gone.
Alex tried really hard to convince himself the next breath he took wasn’t one of relief and he couldn’t quite succeed.
He took a moment to pull himself together and followed after him. Only, when he turned the corner it was Liz leaning up against the wall with Forrest nowhere in sight.
“Let me guess. You’re skipping out on my lunch, too?” She didn’t look too upset about it so Alex didn’t feel too bad when he nodded. She huffed a small laugh and shook her head. “You two are a mess.”
“Don’t worry, we’re well aware,” Alex assured her.
She smirked. “I’m sure you are.” She jerked her thumb behind her. “Mikey took off that way so I don’t think he’s headed back to the scrapyard.” Alex looked down the street in the direction she indicated and knew immediately where Michael had gone. “Hey,” Liz put her hand on his arm to get his attention. “Don’t fuck it up this time, yeah? Either of you.”
“We’ll do our best.” He gave her a quick hug and a promise to meet up later and hurried away to his own car.
It was a relatively short drive out to their spot and Alex made it shorter.
Michael’s truck was in the same spot it had always been and Alex parked next to it. He didn’t see Michael but he wasn’t too worried. Alex rounded the car and pulled the liftgate down to reveal Michael sprawled on his back in the truck bed.
“Should I have called?” Alex asked.
Michael opened his eyes and looked at him. “No,” he replied. “I think we need to get used to doing this the old fashioned way.” He held out a hand and helped Alex get up next to him, moving only slightly to give Alex room.
“Forrest broke up with me,” Alex announced.
“Oh?”
Alex hummed. “Asked me where I went three nights ago and then told me we were never going to work because he’s not Michael Guerin.” Michael didn’t say anything. “He wasn’t wrong.”
Michael shifted so they were looking at each other. “Are we ready now? I know I am.”
“I just got out of a relationship twenty minutes ago,” Alex reminded him.
“So is that a no?”
Alex sighed and looked up at the clouds. “No. It’s an ‘I wish I was a better person’.”
Michael gripped the front of Alex’s shirt and tugged lightly until Alex looked at him. “So are we doing this?”
“What is this?” Alex asked, needing clarification or rather needing there to be no confusion.
“This. Us. For real. No more walking away. No more hiding behind middle of the night phone calls. No more seeing other people. Just us.”
Alex rolled over onto his shoulder so he could look down at Michael. “For good?”
“That is the idea.” Michael’s eyes were more serious than Alex could ever remember seeing them.
“Good. But no fuck ups, okay?” Alex put his hand to Michael’s chest. “We go all in, I’m not sure either of us will recover from it going bad.”
Michael wrapped an arm around Alex’s back, his other hand going to Alex’s cheek. “We won’t. It may not be perfect all the time but we’re not going to fuck it up.” Alex took the words for the solemn vow they were and kissed him.
---
Epilogue
Michael had no idea what the fight was about. He wasn’t even sure it was actually about anything. They’d both been stressed for days about different things and they hadn’t had much time together and suddenly they were shouting at each other over the dishes.
He watched Alex storm away and part of him felt relieved. It had been going too well for months now and he had to admit he’d been waiting for something like this to happen.
When Alex didn’t come back after a few minutes, Michael finished up the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. That done, he crossed the empty house to the living room and picked up Alex’s guitar. Part of him didn’t want to disturb the silence in case it led to another fight somehow but he couldn’t sit around doing nothing so he started picking his way carefully through one of the new songs he was learning, taking it slow and playing quietly.
When the song under his fingers turned into Alex’s song a few minutes later, he wasn’t surprised. Ever since he figured out how to play it, it was one of his favorites, his body long used to relaxing to the melody.
As the last chords echoed in the room (he may have been playing louder than he meant to), his phone started ringing. Somehow he wasn’t surprised to see Alex’s face on the screen. Setting the guitar down, he answered.
“Too loud?”
“No,” Alex replied. “Can you-” he cut himself off with a groan. “Can you just-”
The last of the tension slipped from him as he settled back against the couch and started rambling about his week. Halfway through, Alex stepped inside from the back patio and hung up. Michael let his phone drop as Alex curled up next to him on the couch but he never stopped talking. When he ran out of things to say, Alex took up the slack and filled him in on his own week.
The sun went down around them and Michael didn’t notice.
“Hey,” Alex sat up once he’d finished and they’d enjoyed a few moments of quiet. “No fair using my own song against me.”
Michael smirked. “Whatever works. But truthfully, I was playing it for myself. For some reason I’m practically conditioned to relax when I hear it.”
“Oh really?” Alex hummed, a smirk tugging at his own lips. “Wonder why.”
Michael shrugged. “It’s a mystery.”
#malex fic#my fic#rnm#long post#does contain minor/mentions of miluca and forlex and alex cheats on forrest with michael#so warning for that i guess
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