#people have always suffered but they’ve also always loved and sharing those revelations really does help ppl feel less alone
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Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X8
SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
I freakin’ loved this episode! It was so so good! Which surprised me considering what they focused on. Based on the promo I knew that this would be DeLuca’s goodbye episode and so I expected to like the other parts of the episode we were shown in the promo such as Hayes talking to Meredith at her bedside, Richard’s storyline, and Derek’s return. However, I was not expecting to enjoy any part of DeLuca’s farewell storyline and I was pleasantly surprised. I think that’s because they focused on the effects of grief and guilt and how everyone processes those emotions differently.
It was a really interesting character study on how each person feels a loss in their own way. Despite not liking the character I actually found DeLuca’s memorial service quite moving. I think it was because they found a creative way to do it and because funerals in the real world like we normally do aren't possible right now. My grandfather died last summer and while he didn’t want a funeral my family and I weren’t able to get together to mourn his loss as we usually would and that’s been hard.
I wasn’t particularly close with my grandfather, but the loss of traditional grieving rituals in this time of COVID-19 has been frustrating. I liked that they found a creative way to have the characters mourn the loss of a fellow staff member. I expected to see Carina more, but as I understand it her storyline played out more on Station 19 which makes sense. I felt like they did a good job of showing the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) and how everyone experiences them differently.
Teddy and Owen displayed survivors' guilt and frustration that they did everything right and he still died. At the end we see Teddy in a catatonic state and it made me think that she might be sick with COVID herself or that there was something else wrong. While I've never been a Teddy and Owen shipper I did like the moment at the end where Owen noticed something was wrong and came over to her and told her that he would take her home and when she didn't respond he picked her up and carried her.
It reminded me of the Season 2 episode where Denny dies and Izzie refuses to leave his side so Alex picks her up and carries her over to a chair in her prom dress. Very different relationships, but a nice parallel in my opinion. This episode had a lot of those. Teddy seeing DeLuca in other people’s faces was freaky! I have to say that guy is way more interesting as a ghost then he ever was alive.
I totally got Helm's reaction. I understand why she said and thought those horrible things about DeLuca. He was an ass for a really long time. I probably would have done the same thing myself, but that doesn't mean she wanted him dead. I thought what Maggie did for her was wonderful. My heart broke for Schmitt when he described his emotions. Richard was angry and Bailey went overboard trying to figure out what happened. Everyone's experience of a loss is different and I like that they showed that.
I’m glad that Richard told Bailey what she needed to hear. It was painful, but in trying to find an answer or a reason for what happened she was unintentionally hurting the people around her who were suffering too. The strength of Richard and Bailey's relationship is that they can tell each other the truth when no one else can or will. I loved his monologue to Catherine about trying to find a meaning in the puzzle of life and questioning his faith which is such a big part of his sobriety. James Pickens Jr. did a beautiful job in that scene.
Say what you want about Catherine, but I loved her response. Richard was trying to find meaning in the meaningless and in response she shared with him that her latest scans showed that the cancer hadn’t grown. Logically it should have, but it didn’t. Sometimes there are miracles and sometimes there are senseless deaths. Life is a puzzle. We don’t always understand it. That was exactly what Richard needed to hear in that moment.
On a more upbeat note, I loved the beach scenes this week! They were perfect! They were everything I dreamed of for my favourite characters and more! We got to see Derek and Meredith get closer and talk about the kids. When Meredith is heartbroken that Derek never got to meet Ellis or to know her he tells her all of these wonderful things about her. How she’s just like Meredith and makes it clear that he’s watching over them always.
He talks about Zola and how she writes to him in her journal and how Meredith taught her to ride a bike. I teared up! I've been waiting for them to discuss the kids and here it is! Hearing Derek talk about Ellis and knowing that he watches over Meredith and the kids was so emotional for me. I loved hearing him describe who she is and getting to learn more about her. I'm glad he encouraged her to go back. As much as Derek and Meredith miss each other she's needed back in the land of the living.
Her kids need her and so does everyone else. I loved Derek's gentle teasing. His facial expressions. And then there are her scenes with Hayes! God they were perfect! I've been waiting for this! I loved how Meredith kept joyfully asking him what he did to make Ellis smile so wide and laugh so loudly. She knows he can't hear her yet there she is dying to know what he said or did. The sound of her voice when she said that was everything for me. They already feel like a couple. So much in sync.
I love that Derek, who was shown to be extremely jealous in life, encouraged her to hear Hayes out. I really felt like he was giving her his blessing and the fact that they established that Hayes has met the kids virtually and they know who he is sealed the deal for me. Hayes has now received Cristina’s approval, Derek’s blessing, and is shown to have positive relationships with Meredith’s friends and family in Seattle. I loved that Hayes told Meredith to fight and talked about how her kids were doing and how everyone needs her.
I loved that he came and sat at her bedside and begged her to fight and not give up and that he talked to her even though he wasn’t sure if she could hear him. I love that he sat with her through the virtual memorial even though he wasn’t close to DeLuca and didn’t like him. The cheerful greeting and familiarity with which he greets Amelia and Zola and the stories he tells Meredith indicates that he’s been having regular video chats with Amelia, Maggie, Link, and the kids and that he’s chosen to stay by Meredith’s side when he just as easily could have left while she was on a call with her kids.
It will also make the transition easier when do start dating because the kids will already know him. The music in this episode was really beautiful. Especially the songs that played during the beach scenes. I really enjoyed the drunken Link, Jo, and Jackson scene. I felt it brought much needed levity and humour to the episode the same way the beer scene with Jackson, Link, and Winston did in the previous episode. Their scenes were funny and raw and provided a good balance for the episode.
I also loved seeing more of Jo and Jackson's friends with benefits relationship and more of Jo and Link and Jackson and Link's friendship. I'd actually forgotten that Jackson and Link were friends so it was cool to see that dynamic again and that Link is supportive of their situation. The drinking game to me felt like a throwback to the Season 2 episode where Meredith and Cristina are at Joe’s Bar playing a game of whose life sucks the most and she tells them that Derek is married and Cristina tells her she’s pregnant. These revelations eventual lead to Cristina scheduling an abortion and declaring Meredith her person.
It was cool to see Maggie and Winston working together at Grey Sloan Memorial. Winston living in Boston was only going to go on for so long because as we've all found out this past year there's only so much you can do virtually. I knew he'd be moving to Seattle at some point and I'm glad to see him working at the hospital and hanging with Maggie's family. The scene where he danced it out with the kids was too cute! I'll be interested to see more of their dynamic moving forward as Maggie used to be his teacher and is now his boss. I'm also glad that both Winston and Hayes are finally getting the proper screen time they deserve.
Their storyline with the naked guy cracked me up! My two favourite lines of the episode were when the guy freaked out because he realized he wasn’t wearing his mask and Maggie said, “You’re not wearing much of anything.” And when Maggie and Winston went looking for him and Zander Perez, the resident from Pac North, told them, “If you’re looking for a naked guy he went that way.” I laughed so hard!
The scenes with Zola got me. She is a real trouper. She definitely is Meredith Grey's daughter through and through. I'm a big believer in found family and one of the things Grey's does really is show that there are many different ways to be a family and that family is what you make of it. True family is made up of the people who love and support you unconditionally not genetics. I really love that they've shown the strength of that bond between Zola and her family.
My favourite hidden moment of the episode was Tom! He appears in the background at DeLuca's memorial which means he's getting better. If he's well enough to be outside at the memorial then his condition has greatly improved since last we saw and that's great! Tom's a wonderfully complex character and I'm glad he's doing better. He appears in a bunch of deleted scenes that were released through the Grey’s Anatomy Twitter account which I highly recommend. The writing in this episode was excellent!
This episode was written by Adrian Wenner whose previous credits include the Season 16 episode ‘A Hard Pill to Swallow’ in which Meredith and Hayes work that vaping case together and get to know each for the first time. Honestly, my only complaint about this episode is that I wish they’d done it sooner! I wish they had bumped this and the previous episode up. The Mid-Season Finale felt very anti-climatic to me and was poorly received by a lot of fans. I wish they had just scrapped that episode or combined it with what we saw in the Mid-Season Premiere and then jumped into this episode after the break. But we’re here now and that’s the important thing.
Onto next week’s promo. Damn does it look interesting! We see that Owen has brought Teddy home and she’s not eating or speaking and he’s worried if her condition does not improve he’ll have to admit her. I’m sure he’s having flashbacks to when Cristina did the same thing after the plane crash. She appears to be experiencing some kind of nightmare sequence where she sees DeLuca as a ghost and Meredith speaks to her. Looks intense!
Until next time!
#grey's anatomy#meredith grey#cormac hayes#cormac x meredith#meredith x cormac#MerHayes#MerWidow#teddy altman#17x08#it's all too much#owen hunt#cristina yang#tom koracick#zola grey shepherd#ellis shepherd#derek shepherd#amelia shepherd#maggie pierce#winston ndugu#richard webber#miranda bailey#taryn helm#izzie stevens#alex karev#zander perez#jo wilson#jackson avery#atticus lincoln#catherine fox#grief
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Okay so we all know how much I love Suho and Jugyeong as individuals but also as a unit and I obviously think about these characters too much so have yet another unnecessary analysis from me. This post ended up being over 1500 words, I apologize. Like my Suho post before, this is not an invitation for hate, or arguments, just, observations I’ve made and yeah.
So both Suho and Jugyeong have suffered trauma, not in the same manner but both have very deep set issues that affect who they are as people. Jugyeong is deeply insecure about her looks and her grades, all thanks to the bullying she endured from most people surrounding her life. Suho has lived a life of great loss, beginning with his parents (his mother's death and his father's essential abandonment), then his best friends (seyeon's death and seojun's breaking their friendship). Both have some deep scars and yet, they both try so hard for each other.
As friends, Jugyeong offers herself as a listening ear for Suho when he needs it, something he never really had before. You can argue he could have had it in anyone trying to be his friend, but a part of it is definitely Suho's fear of losing someone else, he can't lose someone else he loves if he doesn't let them get close. But with Jugyeong it just happens naturally, this girl who he saved, who ironically likes horror comics like him. They bond, he keeps her secret, then there's those different emotions he keeps getting around her. He starts saying things without really thinking, he starts doing things that he wouldn't normally do. Friends, Lee Suho has a crush and he has zero idea what to do.
Now I could go in depth on Suho, and believe me friends I have, but this is more on why I support this relationship. They help each other in so many ways, Jugyeong was there after Suho's first panic attack on the anniversary of Seyeon's death. She went looking for him because she was worried, she wanted to be there for him, to support him in any way she could. In turn Suho keeps her secret and also helps her when he can. He tries to help her in her studies, he saves her wallet from her bullies and comforts her afterwards. He willingly beats the crap out of the boys who kidnapped her, and holds her hand on the drive home because she looks like she's struggling. He praises her after her fight with her mom about her grades, because he saw how hard she worked and how it affected her that her mom still wasn't happy.
Support. They offer each other support because they've seen each other at their lowest of lows, and this was before they even started to date.
After confessing, which is done when Jugyeong is not wearing make up, so props to the writers for that. They manage to build each other up some more. Despite Suho being more than ready to tell everyone they are together, he accepts when Jugyeong asks him to not say anything then proceeds to plan a date far enough away where they shouldn't get caught and she gets to meet her idol (he paid attention after seeing her watch a single video) which he knows will make her happy. He pays attention, because he wants her to be happy. He notices when she's off, when she doesn't seem as bright or happy, and he tries to figure out why. He wants to take care of her, to make her happy, because that's how much he genuinely cares (i don't wanna say love bc people will get pissy but you know what, f u c k it, he LOVES HER). He assures her that she is enough when she shares that she feels like she isn't good enough for him, but what does he say? You're enough. Because he doesn’t want her to think that way, because she’s probably more than enough for him. After all he likes her for who she is, and he thinks she’s pretty without makeup on, and he knows she’ll work hard for her grades if she needs to.
They are also constantly on the phone with each other which is freaking cute because like, they just want to tell each other EVERYTHING which is good because it’s a precursor to possible good communication. And even though it was followed by lack of communication, they did end up apologizing to each other after the accident. Suho actually apologized AGAIN once he returned to school, so he acknowledged that he said things he shouldn’t have said. But also that conversation was the catalyst for her admitting to Sujin that they were dating, because she felt she had to tell her, and to tell Sujin how much she meant to her. This was brave for Jugyeong to do, because we know our girl hates confrontation, but she did it. She admitted she liked Suho, a lot, and that they were dating. It was a big revelation and we all know it.
But anyway, let’s talk about the accident, once Jugyeong hears that Suho is hurt, she literally runs to the hospital, even though she doesn’t have make up on. His safety is a priority and she has no chill, she could have bolted out when she realized Seojun was there too, but she did want to at least check on him after, she was even thinking of going back, but she decided against it. Suho followed her, because he really just wanted to see her. She’s become a sense of comfort for him, her mere presence seems to help him. You can tell by how he holds on to her, how he practically melts into her when he’s holding her. She’s helping ground him, she’s helping him heal because he said it didn’t even hurt anymore. She is HEALING him, without even realizing it. Having her in his life, it’s helping him want to reconnect with this side of himself that he’d abandoned when Seyeon died.
Jugyeong is a worry wart, Suho teases her of such, but you can tell just how much she worries because she visits constantly while he’s in the hospital, she brings him things, and even after watching him experience yet another panic attack and get put under sedation, she remains at his side. Holding his hand, even if he doesn’t know she’s there, she wants to be there for him like he’s there for her. This is further cemented after news breaks about Suho’s dad, she’s there again, because she wanted to give him a hug. He told her he missed her, and here she was. But she just wanted to give him comfort because she knew he’d need it, even if he had an awful relationship with his dad, it was his dad. He had to feel awful and she wanted to be there for him. They want to be the other’s support system, and that’s honestly a beautiful foundation for a relationship and it can help in both their healing journeys in general.
The latest episode just further cemented by support for them as a couple, because they were so freaking adorable? The video call? Her worrying about him, her doing research to tell him things he should eat to ensure his leg heals faster? The hearts, and even though Suho is so dumb sometimes, he still offered her affection through the video call. Then when he showed up at her house for them to hold hands to the bus stop, because this boy is craving physical touch. (He apologized again for what he said before the accident, so yes) But you can tell he really is feeling comfortable with showing her affection because he literally leans on her at school, using his injury so he can be close to her at school. He’s always watching her too, because you can tell that protective instinct is there, and when she’s unhappy he looks visibly worried.
Also the immense respect he has for his relationship, remembering what Seojun told him, he straight up tells Sujin that he’s taken, by Jugyeong, the line more CLEARLY drawn each time he sees Sujin because he needs her to understand that he only likes her as a friend. His obvious visible worry when she doesn’t seem like herself, to the point that he tries to get her to talk to him, just like she’s offered to be a listening ear to him, he wants to reciprocate. He wants her to know that she can talk to him, which is why the second hand holding scene is amazing, it’s the opposite of earlier in the episode where she held his hand in the hospital. In that moment she was comforting him, but now he was comforting her. THEY HELP EACH OTHER.
Anyway continuing on with Sujin and when she throws away the necklace he gave Jugyeong, you can see that he’s hurt because she’s supposed to be friends with Jugyeong and here she is throwing away something that is important to her. Now as he’s walking away after that exchange, you see him begin to text Juju to not look for the necklace, but he doesn’t send it. What’s this boy doing instead? He goes and buys a new one, because he knows Juju will look all night for it, and he doesn’t want to hurt her and say hey your best friend threw it away because she’s jealous we’re dating. He knows she’s suffered a shit ton (although he doesn’t know the extent that someone she considered a friend betrayed her, just like now) and she doesn’t need to think that her friends are out to get her. So he buys a new necklace, and then he places it so Jugyeong can find it, and he’s happy that she’s happy. Because she’s so relieved to find it, after all it’s precious, Suho gave it to her. Just as he treasures things he’s received from her (I bet you the hair tie and the candy bar are in his apartment still) and he uses the things she bought him for his anxiety (again she’s taking care of him, doing research to assure he doesn’t feel anxious again, so she buys him all the things to help with anxiety).
Them holding hands is precious, and the way he puts their entwined hands in his pocket slayed me. That’s it, that’s the sentence. MOVING ON.
Overall I feel like they work amazingly because they’ve seen each other at their lowest points, and they also want to help lift each other up. They will do anything to lift each other up. They can help each other heal, not saying that they won’t need other help, but their relationship will be beneficial to them in the long run if they continue down this path.
#not a beauty (ooc)#me trying to get poetic (meta)#true beauty#lee su ho#im jugyeong#lim jugyeong#true beauty drama#ship fodder
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More Than Meets the Eye #22- If You Don’t Love Thunderclash, Get Better Soon I Guess
One last issue before we reach Comic Event Hell.
Time to use a dead man to set up the rest of the nonsense that’s got to happen, because apparently 14 issues of setup, including six issues of literal prelude, wasn’t enough.
The first bit of information we’re presented with is the fact that Chromedome and Swerve are on the opposite sides of the camera-shy scale. I guess that’s bound to happen when your spouse has had his video-cam literally connected to his brain for at least several thousand years.
The art may look really gritty and hardcore here, but this is actually due to a filter Rewind has over all his footage that he’s neglected to take off, because it made all the wartime propaganda he would stuff into people’s heads all the more brutal-looking.
No, this is the style of our artist for this issue, James Raiz, who we’ll be seeing a fair bit of over the next several issues. Raiz has worked on the Transformers franchise over the course of multiple license-holders, as well as contributed to both Marvel and DC comics. He also works in special effects, including matte painting and VFX. That’s just neat.
Anyway, the reason Swerve’s completely frozen in place isn’t because Rewind switched out his head-mounted camera for a gun that goes off if it hears you make a self-deprecating joke, but rather because he’s conducting interviews with everyone in the main cast. We get all their introductions, Cyclonus makes a statement about his political stances, Drift sounds like he’s high as a kite, First Aid strikes a sassy pose while not being bitter in the slightest, and Ultra Magnus makes a move that would get him murdered on any given film set in the universe.
You do NOT use your bare fucking hand to clean a camera lens, mister. Go get a microfiber cloth and try the fuck again, you complete and utter duffel bag of a creature.
We get a quick cut of the speech Rodimus made back in issue #1, with an angle that implies that Rewind was in the front row of the front row, then cut over to Rodimus asking Rewind to document their Capital-Q Quest. This is where we establish that this film doesn’t only contain footage from Rewind’s personal camera, but also that of the Lost Light’s security system.
Which feels like the sort of access you maybe wouldn’t want to give some nosy little film buff, especially when you have a secret giant serial killing sadist living in your basement like a disappointing adult child.
See? He was given the job to record the adventures of the Lost Light not five minutes ago, and he’s already using his powers for evil. Eavesdropping evil. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, Rodimus, and you just handed it to the guy with a massive Dominus Ambus-shaped chip on his shoulder.
So Rewind’s got permission to film just about whatever he wants, and Rodimus figures it’ll be nonstop action from here to the finish line! Fights! Intrigue! Mild hijinks and peril! Explosions aplomb! Oh man, I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shit will happen on this absolute roller coaster of a Quest!
Smashcut to Swerve literally falling asleep in the middle of a conversation.
Yeah, as it turns out, no quest, capital Q or not, is nonstop action. Which is good, honestly, because that kind of seems like it would be exhausting after the first week or so.
Swerve, Tailgate, and Rewind are discussing cool alt-modes, which seems like an odd topic, seeing as Tailgate and Swerve have basically the same situation going on there, leaving Rewind alone in the camp of “does not have wheels”.
I worry about you sometimes, Rewind. Internalized Functionism is a very real problem. Uh, well, in your universe anyway. Us humans have to deal with regular ol’ classism and racism.
Rung gets brought up, and it’s revealed that the wheel on his back is almost purely cosmetic; it doesn’t even actually attach to his body. The lads decide that they’ve got nothing better to do, and set up a gentlemen’s wager- first one to figure out Rung’s whole deal gets 100 space-dollars.
Throwing shit at people’s heads will be a major plot point in the climax of this comic series.
Swerve’s go at trying to win the bet involved tossing a grenade at Rung to hit him in the neural cluster, which is rumored to be able to force an involuntary mode change if done correctly. Obviously, it didn’t work this go around.
Then our narrative focus switches over to the crew’s hobbies.
You were listening to Prince, weren’t you, Magnus? Not even deep space is safe from the Cease and Desist.
Skids’ hobby is meeting new people, because he suffers from the terrible curse of being so fucking good at everything he tries, he always ends up dropping whatever he picked up, because what’s the point? This acts as a segue into another flashback, to even MORE bullshit that the fellas got roped into on Hedonia.
These are the Stentarians. They’re like the Cybertronians, if they were better in every way.
And by “better”, I, of course, mean “more bloodthirsty, warmongering, and driven enough to make their civil war last about as long as the Jurassic Period”. Also, they’re all combiners by default, and Whirl seems a little TOO into their whole situation. So much so, in fact, that when the Imperial Guard of their race show up to kill them, he decides to do them a solid by single-handedly ending their entire war.
You know, in most cases you’re supposed to show and not tell for visual media. This is way funnier, though, so it can be excused.
We jump back into the interviews, and Rewind’s just asked everyone if they’re happy. This might seem like an odd question, until you remember that everyone on-board this ship has crippling depression and PTSD, and Rewind’s married to one of the saddest motherfuckers to ever exist, so he probably has this question loaded into the proverbial chamber at any given moment. We won’t cover all of the answers here, because they’ll be more poignant to reflect back on later in the comic run, but let’s take a gander at the characters who’ve completed the first leg of their character arcs this season.
Drift, is that perhaps… an honest expression of your inner thought processes happening right there? Has Rewind broken through your carefully crafted persona, if even for just a moment, with his question? Perish the thought!
Because Tailgate outed himself as being baby in issue #21, I have zero doubt he’s not exaggerating here. He was a janitor, then he fell in a hole and became Dirt-Nap Supreme for six million years; even the most boring day on the Lost Light’s got to be better than that.
And it’s nice to see Chromedome on a good day for once. Hopefully he reveled in it while he had the chance, because this interview takes place maybe a couple weeks before he fucks everything up big time and has to blow up his husband with a missile strike.
Getting back to the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode plotline, we see Rung using his backpack as a wheelbarrow- no idea what he’s actually pushing in the damned thing- and wearing the most disgruntled face I’ve seen him pull in a hot minute. Someone yells for him to come down the eerily unlit and sinister-looking hallway, which he does. Rung would not do well in a horror film.
He winds up at Swerve’s, where Tailgate, Swerve, Brainstorm, and someone who is most likely Trailcutter, given the colors, are hanging out in their alt-modes. Tailgate’s ploy to find out Rung’s deal is to do what he does best- lie! They’re having an alt-mode party, and wouldn’t Rung like to join in? There are, of course, logistical issues with being a car in a bar, especially when your drink is on the table and your head is tucked up somewhere in your torso, but never mind all that! Let’s get crazy!
This doesn’t work either. Maybe we should cut out the middle man here and just get Rung drunk enough to agree to a wet alt-mode contest.
No, I don’t have any idea how that would work.
In our next vignette, Rodimus comes into the comms room, Rewind trailing behind him like a grim shadow of death, to see what the hell Blaster wants, other than just the hugest glass of water.
Raiz’s work is very detailed, and you really feel the weight of these giant metal space robots, but everyone looks like they’ve been put through a food dehydrator.
We get a lot of build up to the character who’s about to be introduced, with a common opinion being shared amongst everyone- even Tailgate, who hates successful people like his life depends on it.
Lovely readers, put your hands together for the ideal male partner for Autobots, Decepticons, and Neutrals alike:
A man with so much charisma and charm that only Rodimus could hate him, Thuderclash brings to IDW what everyone wishes Optimus Prime would, making our disappointing space dad even more mediocre by comparison. He fights for justice, and freedom, and the good of the universe- and he does it all while having a chronic medical condition that forces him to stay within a certain distance of his ship that is also a life-support machine, otherwise he will die. Despite his handicaps, Thunderclash seemingly brings to others what they need most, even if they don’t even realize that they needed it in the first place.
He also, in this one scene, appeals to Drift’s religious sensibilities, does a secret best-friend dance with Ratchet (who he helped to pass his medical exams- yes, Ratchet), and congratulates Rodimus on his questing so far.
Thunderclash is one of those characters that everyone in-universe is supposed to love, and I completely buy it- because he’s completely genuine and humble about all of this the entire time.
Compare this to the last time Roberts wrote Thunderclash, in Eugenesis.
Where he was an ex-Decepticon.
And kind of an abrasive asshole.
And then he died.
Y’know, now that I think of it, Eugenesis Thunderclash and MTMTE Ambulon being basically the same character makes a whole lot of sense, even without the horrors of Roberts’ Twitter getting involved.
Thunderclash reveals that he, too, is on a quest to find the Knights of Cybertron, much to Rodimus’ chagrin. But first he needs the Lost Light to break out the jumper cables, and then for his second in command to stop threatening his life.
Turns out, not everyone is as obvious as the Cybertronians with their naming conventions. Whirl assassinated the wrong folks; I’m sure the Galactic Council is utterly thrilled. Paddox wants to steal the quantum engine technology for the good of his people, so they can kick the ass of the up-and-coming Terradore leader.
Completely unaware of the situation unfolding here in the lab, Swerve is directing Rung towards the warm, loving aura of Thunderclash for another go at winning the gentlemen’s wager- through the power of lying about having friends, Swerve’s “agreed” to get Rung Thunderclash’s autograph, in exchange for getting to check that Rung’s transformation cog is still working. Then they bump into the nightmare currently unfolding. My, whoever will save us from this dreaded menace, who holds a gun to the head of the Autobots’ greatest warrior, confidant, friend, and perhaps even lover?
How about a bartender and a giant vape pen?
Okay, so Rung doesn’t actually turn into a vape. It turns out that the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode is also a mystery to the man himself. Because Rung is old as shit, the Functionists got to see this bullshit for themselves, and ended up testing him over and over and over trying to figure it out, lest he prove to be a flaw in their fascist ideologies. Fun fact: fascists HATE it when people they’re trying to oppress don’t play to their expectations.
The Functionists were the ones who gave Rung his little wheelie backpack, to make him at least appear useful. This sort of treatment tends to warp one’s head a bit, which would explain why he’s bothered to keep it for so long- internalized functionism’s a real bitch.
At least he’s not giving teenagers nicotine addictions under the guise of being somewhat better than cigarettes.
Back with Rodimus and Cybertron’s Autobot of the Year for 40,000 consecutive years, we get the unfortunate news that jump-starting Thunderclash’s ship is going to make the Quest go a bit slower for the Lost Light, much to Rodimus’ horror, though he does his best to put on a brave face; after all, that’s what heroes do, isn’t it?
It’s at this point that it’s revealed that “Little Victories” was being screened to all the Circle of Light members who didn’t get murdered or turned into Legislators on Luna 1, and man are these guys pissy. What was meant to be a recruitment video turned out to do just the opposite, because none of these guys want anything to do with what the Lost Light’s got going on.
Too bad Rewind didn’t have time for a cleaner cut for showing. Maybe they could have at least snagged a couple of these guys to tag along.
As all of the Circle of Light leave the theatre to go call everyone’s favorite Autobot to see if he needs a more crew members, the film plays on behind Skids, back to the interviews, as everyone promises more adventures just waiting on the horizon.
You’re not even on this trip anymore, you dork.
Chromedome gives us the title drop for the movie and issue, and we cut to Rewind organizing a group photo of all the interviewees.
And then Rewind died horribly like a week later. Thus ends season one of More Than Meets the Eye!
While I’m here, I’d like to take the time to cover a little bit of cut content from this issue, a scene between Drift and Ratchet.
Drift, during his interview, recalls the time that Ratchet called him into his office for a very serious discussion about his/Pharma’s hands.
Yeah, turns out they’re haunted.
Well, no, not really, because this is a prank. But Drift doesn’t know that yet.
Ratchet demonstrates this hand-haunting by punching Drift in the face, as he screams damnation at Pharma’s ghost. Drift, because he is a spiritual man, knows exactly what to do to deal with this possession; he draws his sword and chops Ratchet’s hands off, then throws them out the airlock.
This, too, is a prank, not that Ratchet knows it right away, yelling at Drift that he’s crippled him.
Clearly, these two belong together.
This bit of cut script was lucky enough to have gotten drawn by the colorist for MTMTE Season 1, Josh Burcham. Burcham’s line art is iconic- you won’t mistake him for anyone else. It’s rough and angular, and honestly just very charming. I’m a sucker for this sort of style. If you want to see his adaptation of this chunk of script- and trust me, you do- the link’s right here:
https://dcjosh.tumblr.com/post/107665292031/its-done-the-mtmte-22-deleted-scene-in-all-its
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First time read through light novel vol. 7. Random thoughts.
Through some kind of mistake, Rem had completely accepted Subaru, but he knew all too well that the Subaru Natsuki she saw was an ideal far removed from the real thing. Compared with the man she envisioned in her mind, the cards that the real Subaru held were few in number, and poor in quality—
But he learned, now that he stood at the playing table, no one cared about his personal problems.
All anyone in his position could do was try to win with the cards he was dealt.
This is sign I think Subaru has grown a little bit, though he is still growing. It's not about him, and Ferris later seems like he's trying to drill that into him a bit more later when Subaru wants to help with the battle preparations. It's good that he wants to help but sometimes he's unintentionally making things too much about himself, just to ease his own feelings. There are places where he would be getting in the way if he tried to help and Subaru's learning to accept that; to be patient and give his services where he can actually be of use, not just to help himself feel better. And damn, does he put that new maturity to good use in the big battle.
Originally, these negotiations had been Rem’s appointed duty. He could easily imagine how being unable to divulge her task to Subaru and having to speak with Crusch day after day had whittled away at her spirit.
Subaru had continually rotted by himself while the future of the Emilia camp had been entrusted to her—she must have suffered under that burden.
He hoped that in some small way, this victory repaid the girl whose feelings had supported him for so long; if so, then for the moment, that was enough for Subaru to be happy.
I really like this part. Again, it's not all about Subaru. He's acknowledging how much Rem's had to deal with while he was having his breakdowns and indulgences during his prior loops, and how much she still did what she could to support him in spite of it all. We're getting a little more that she does have a life outside of just Subaru and a little more added on to why he feels he's been so selfish. It really feels like he is now doing this for her. It's not like Subaru was completely self-centered before but I imagine there were times, especially with Emilia, where he wanted to help, but he wanted to be the one to help. He wanted good things for her but part of him cared more that he was the one giving them to her, verses her just getting what she needs in general. It's like how he couldn't feel happy that Otto was in support of Emilia first time he met him, though of course that was when he was at one of his lowest points.
And, of course, I'm absolutely reveling in all the sweetness of Rem supporting Subaru through his negotiations. Even if it's just holding his hand and reminding him she's there, he clearly appreciates the strength and courage it's giving him. Obviously they're not a romantic couple but this is the kind of stuff I love to see in romantic relationships. Just the basic comfort and support they find in each other's presence.
“...If I am gone, will you remember me just as long?”
“...I don’t wanna answer that. It’s bad luck.”
Speaking with a voice of dismay, Subaru gave Rem’s forehead a little poke.
When he touched Rem’s forehead, she smiled with a happy expression, almost as if she’d received the reply she had been hoping for.
Given something I believe I've been spoiled on for what happens later in the story (after where the anime leaves off), this feels like a very cruel monkey's paw bit of foreshadowing.
“Subaru.”
“...What?”
“I am fine with being your second wife.”
They were words to make a man unwittingly halt in his tracks.
When Subaru, unable to resist, looked toward her, Rem made a face like that of an adorable puppy, seemingly wagging her tail as she awaited Subaru’s reply.
Oh, good grief, just how far is this girl gonna—?
“If Emilia-tan’s a very generous first wife...”
“Well then, when we get back you must convince Lady Emilia. I shall try hard as well.”
Rem clenched the hand not grasped into a fist, very animated as she spoke with a smile.
Speaking jokingly like that broke all the tension, driving home to Subaru how weak he was. He truly couldn’t hold a candle to the girl.
I'm...going to have to see where the story goes from here, and how truly joking/serious Rem was with that second wife line. Just to put it out there, I don't really have a good view of polygamy. I'm always going to think that, 1st wife or 2nd or 3rd or wherever, someone is always going to be treated like second best and second priority. What they're receiving doesn't feel like real love and that's not fair to them. The only way I can see myself supporting a polygamous marriage in this series is if it's made clear Emilia and Rem are attracted to each other as well as Subaru and want to bang. Then it at least becomes three people who love each other as opposed to just "the guy and his two prizes".
So, first time you read this part in the novels or watched it in the anime, was anyone else afraid of the White Whale not showing up where and when Subaru told everyone it would? Like the world would just want to gut punch him one more time and have everyone think he's a fraud? I remember I was.
One theory I have for why the witch's scent grows stronger, not just when Subaru RBD, but also when he tries to talk about RBD is that maybe the witch likes when he acknowledges her "gift" to him. But she's also quite screwed up and doesn't like it when he tries to "share" what's between them, thus why she punishes him or those around him for doing so.
In front, behind and up above, he saw yet another whale-shaped figure high in the sky, scattering mist all around.
—The infinite mouths of the three White Whales laughed together, drawing out the despair of men.
Subaru, Crusch, the soldiers, everyone, etc.
Though pests had interrupted it, the White Whale’s mission was to cover the world in mist. This, too, was the command of its instinct, and doing so was the purpose of the White Whale’s existence.
One thing I've enjoyed about the various light novel series I've been reading is that, compared to their anime, I get a better idea of various characters' and monsters' mentalities. The best example I could give would be the goblins in Goblin Slayer (that they are not mindless creatures; that they know EXACTLY what they're doing to people and they enjoy it) and this bit with the White Whale is another good one. It seeks to cover the world in its mist and thus destroy/consume/erase everything (maybe?) And it doesn't know why it seeks to do this. It just does, suggesting there is something else, possibly the one behind its creation, driving it.
It's also interesting that, to the White Whale, the witch's scent is described as foul, despite the stories that she's the one who created it. This brings to mind a couple different theories.
Satella didn't actually create the whale. Someone else, perhaps one of the other six witches did or one of the archbishops.
Satella did create the whale but maybe used one of the other witches to do it. Puck did mention something about Gluttony when he sensed the whale approaching in the last loop.
Satella REALLY cannot tell the difference between positive and negative emotions, even more so than we were already led to believe.
Kind of cruel of Rem to trick Subaru into thinking she was dying, but at least we do get Subaru's completely true feelings out in the open. Back to the polygamy matter, I don't have a problem with Subaru being indecisive between Emilia and Rem or being in love with them both. It's not just that they've done so much for him, in which case the relationship would feel just like how Emilia described, just the two of them repaying debts to each other. Both women have been a hugely positive influence on Subaru's life. They've impacted it for the better and helped push him into being more of a man he can live with being, and it works the other way around too. It would be hard to imagine his story without either of them in it. I feel the same way with Code Geass in regards to CC, Shirley, and Kallen in Lelouch's story. It was the only "harem" series I've ever watched where I had trouble saying who the MC should end up with, because all three were irreplaceable in his life and story. Take any of them out and it loses a lot. Emilia and Rem are a similar case.
As Rem looked back at Subaru, now beside her, large tears filled her blue eyes. It was not being left behind that she feared. No, what she feared more than anything was—
“When you are in distress, Subaru, I want to be the one offering my hand faster than anyone. When you hesitate along your path, I want to be the one pushing on your back. When you challenge something, I want to be at your side, stopping you from shaking. That is—that is all I wish for. So please...”
Again, more great parallels between Subaru and Rem, as this isn't dissimilar to what he wanted to do for Emilia.
Wilhelm might just be the biggest example of a tsundere I've ever seen. Married a woman he loved from the bottom of heart for what was assumedly a decent amount of time...never freaking told her "I love you" until he finally killed the beast that killed her.
As for Theresia, it's definitely a case of why context is so important. She never wanted to be the Sword Saint. She only did so because she found purpose in saving as many lives as she could with the insane power she had (the whole "great power, great responsibility" chestnut). If Wilhelm is strong enough to protect and save people, to where her absence would make no difference, then she doesn't have to be the Sword Saint anymore and can live the life she wants. It's what makes it an actual kindness vs. some chauvinistic BS. Probably helps too that she'd already helped put an end to a long war, so she wouldn't have been needed as much anyway.
“So it is said. The existence and origins of demon beasts are mysteries to us. Some propagate in the same manner as ordinary living creatures, but some suddenly appear out of nowhere like the White Whale. Though, properly speaking, the only exceptions on par with the White Whale are the Black Serpent and the Great Hare.”
Oh...I'm so not looking forward to meeting those two. After how much tragedy just the White Whale caused, what the f**k are those things going to do? My money would be that whatever it is, it will hurt Subaru quite horribly.
This book potentially answered a question I had in my last post. The Witch Cult is after Emilia because they see her as an impostor of the Witch of Envy, or at least so the characters in-story are speculating.
Not sure how many people here are fans of Rising of the Shield Hero but after this I kind of want to see the White Whale and the Spirit Tortoise duke it out. That sounds awesome. Mountain Turtle vs. Witch Fish.
Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/gub735/novels_first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_7/
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Hi, I just want to say that I adore your characterizations and your interpretation on the 2Doc dynamic — it’s refreshing to say the least, lol. Idk, I’m a sucker for bleak, unhealthy relationships. I’m not sure if you’ve ever been asked this, but I was wondering how do you address the criticisms of 2Doc as a ship, or problematic ships/characters in general? As someone who is involved in a few ships that some would deem as ‘problematic’, I find it difficult to fully articulate my stance on shipping as a concept. Of course I don’t think shipping is synonymous with believing the characters could realistically be in a healthy, productive relationship, but I still find it hard to address the (often valid) criticisms of the ships I like without fear of it verging on romanticization of an abusive or toxic relationship. Anyway, love your stuff and hope you’re doing well! ❤️
Thank you so much for your incredibly kind message! That means so much to me, thank you. And you’re not alone, I too am a sucker for bleakness! This got a bit long so it’ll be behind a cut!
This is an interesting question, and one that I fear has an unsatisfying answer. When I think back on the ships I’ve had strong feelings for, there are a few I’d call uncontroversial, but most often I am interested in human drama; it isn’t so much an obsession over the story being “dark,” but the complexity and conflict that comes from two people having problems, which they may or may not overcome. And there arises the issue: there’s a marked difference between a relationship being problematic, and being problematic. 2Doc is, in fairness, both, and I just try to steer it toward the former.
To be frank with you, the fandom has been fractured for a very long time, and I’ve always felt a bit alienated from both the glorifying of abuse, and from the “wholesome” excuses that arose counter to it. (I don’t try to position myself as an authority or very universal on this, so I apologize in advance, and hope other fans understand that we’re coming from similar places and simply have different paths there.) I think if you look through 2Doc discussions of the past few years, you’ll see a lot of the same talking points about how it was problematic but they’ve since healed, or that it is a narrative of growth and forgiveness, or a similar approach of acknowledging toxic history but refuting that their content is at all toxic. I completely understand why this is the popular argument, but it isn’t the one that resonates with me. They’re not wrong for saying it-- this is fandom, therefore authors are crafting their own narrative, that’s sort of the point of doing this, but-- do I think my narrative is about forgiveness? Not really, no. Do I think it is fair, then, to categorize it with the abuse porn which delights in removing Stu’s autonomy? No, I don’t agree that’s fair either.
I respect those who like to create and consume happier stories, but speaking purely for myself, I think you run a risk when you choose to present an unhealthy relationship as “fixed,” or navigate around valid criticism by saying they’re all better now, or worse, arguing it down. Despite good intentions, it minimizes the longterm damage that a power imbalance like this does, it disregards the responsibility of one or both parties to actually live with consequences for their actions even if those consequences are only interpersonal, and most frustrating and damning to me, it denies Stuart the right to be angry, vindictive, or hurt in a way that does not flatter the romantic tragedy of trauma. I do know that this is harsh, though. I understand that isn’t the intention, and I know it comes from a place of loving the idea of this kind-hearted martyr figure-- but idealizing forgiveness no matter the toll is not a healthy mindset and I don’t see it as fair to Stuart. I do think that in the real world people understand the dangers of guilting victims with this mindset, but this is fiction, and it’s nice to dream up a story of tilling the dead flowers from the soil and tending to it, nourishing it, and growing something beautiful from it. I completely get that, and I don’t fault people for it. It just isn’t what I’m writing for, and so this conversation never really satisfies me.
For me, I find it best not to circle around or try to disprove these points, but rather to meet them. Yes, we agree it is not an aspirational relationship or one the characters should wisely pursue. I think a critical fan reading my stories and attacking the relationship’s portrayal as unhealthy would be kind of a moot point, because I’m not presenting it as anything else-- but it is my hope that the characters are compelling and not merely an edgy, ghoulish spectacle. There are moments in my Sad Nonsequential Extended Universe where they banter playfully and where they share an intimacy that is (to their chagrin) romantic in its singularity, but at no point is the relationship whole, at no point is Murdoc apologetic in a way that Stuart is obligated to forgive. Speaking only for myself, that is the joy of writing, and that is what I come back to these characters for. I feel fulfilled by the unfulfillment, and I feel it is entirely possible to tell a story about cruelty and remorse without chaining either character to a leaden ball of either redemption or sainthood. And-- and this is the big and-- I think it’s possible to do this without reveling in trauma either.
There is a difference between appreciating human folly, codependence, and resentment as ever-present cracks in a foundation, and glorifying, romanticizing, or fetishizing a character’s lack of agency or suffering. It has been hurtful, at times, to feel there is no distinction made between bleakness in service of a story and abuse simply for its own sake.
It doesn’t thrill me to read Stuart as powerless against Murdoc, a pretty and broken thing too weak to escape, and it doesn’t thrill me to read Stuart as utterly benevolent to Murdoc, existing only as a bridge Murdoc may walk across to get to the next stage of his own story. I don’t think Murdoc wants Stuart to be that, either. I don’t think they could ever be wrapped up in each other for so long if he thought so little of him. And truth be told, I can acknowledge that this is now my narrative running away with me, this is something I’m choosing for them based on a characterization and history that doesn’t really exist, and for that reason I can’t fault anyone for finding the argument less than compelling. I can also acknowledge that this sounds a bit grand for a bunch of oneshots about bad sex and substance abuse, so, er, I’m sorry for that too.
Here’s where the unsatisfying bit comes in, about writing and discussing flawed characters without excusing or admiring their faults: I just think it’s something you know. If you ask a baker to tell you when you’ll know the dough is the right consistency, they may suggest you compare it to the softest part of your thigh, but they’ll amend that they don’t really think in those terms: they just know it when they see it. The best I can offer is that I find candor to be essential in conversation, and I think it’s a good idea to worry less about disagreeing than effectively communicating your interest in weighty storytelling. I think being able to take a step back from the impulse of defensiveness, knowing that you are a respectful and empathetic person, knowing that you have these concerns about romanticization and about invalidating fair concerns, is the absolute best thing you can do. Talking is not about winning! I hope this response was helpful at all! Thank you for your question!
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On Smoldering Ashes
Chapter Two: If any more blood is to be spilt
@whumptober2020 days 3. Held At Gunpoint, 6. "Stop, Please", 9. "Take Me Instead", 14. Branding and 21. Stitches (Altprompt)
Series summary: Bruce Wayne has gotten vulnerable. Bruce Wayne has found love. His love and his kids are all he needs to find happiness. Some sick concept of fate doesn't like him being happy.
Notes: Forgive me for I have sinned. Oh god, oh lord, what in the blazing hells is this. Shitty shitty but I'm tired and late *drops mic* (37 mins/4.6k words I've exhausted tumblr's paragraph limit)
Warnings: RATED MATURE. Graphic depictions of child abuse and torture, graphic depictions of violence, blood, swearing, heavy I guess angst
AO3 | Prev Chapter | Next Chapter
***
"Why" Dick hears Bruce's voice implore. "Why are you doing this? I thought-"
Bruce's merely balancing on his toes inches from the end of the cliff, Dick can figure just by the way his voice wavers like it has only ever done no more than a couple times in the past.
Cecile knows this. She knows Bruce, and she knows this. And quite possibly she's enjoying it way too much.
"Because, dear, who can say they're getting paid to practise their hobbies?"
Dick can only gawk at her, an frankly that's the only thing all the others seem able to do as well.
Hobbies?
They're nothing but a plaything to her.
It doesn't seem right. This shouldn't be happening. Dick should be helping B plan the wedding that made him beam just at the thought of taking place.
Not being held in an unknown location by his could-be step mother.
They really dodged a bullet, but in doing so they fell right into a different trap.
His family's unable to speak, stunned by the sudden revelations. He can't blame them, nor can he blame Jason for cursing under his breath.
Barbara's the first to snap out of their trance.
"What could you possibly want that Bruce's money couldn't get you?" she asks. Her true goal though, expertly weaved inside is search of Cecile's motive.
There's none.
Cecile giggles. "Oh dear. It's never about money. It's not personal either, if that's what's bugging all of you. And although my client does pay a fair amount, in reality.. pain and suffering are simply way too enjoyable."
Client, Dick notes. Somebody's paying for this. Somebody that most likely knows who they are when night falls. Somebody dangerous.
Cecile then turns to look directly at Bruce, as she expertly hides her poison inside cheerfully spoken words.
"And you, love, with as many kids as you have here,-" she says, and Bruce's face crumples, "-are going to be a very, very interesting subject"
Duke shakes his head in disbelief at the woman.
"You're sick"
Cecile sits back and ponders on this statement for a bit. Just for a split second, so it's enough to pass across that message, but not quite long to let them be freed from that entrapping mist of concurrent desire for knowledge, and repulse keeping them bound to every word that falls from her lips.
"Perhaps I am" she ventures.
"Perhaps we're all sick, just in different ways. Have you ever thought of that?"
Dick has in fact thought of that, but his answer would never share meaning with Cecile's. How different really are they from the people they fight? They lock all those costumed freaks up in Arkham, but they themselves could very well be described in the exact same way. Sometimes he wonders if they're insane for choosing this life, and the answer that his mind spits out is always yes.
Every life they save is worth it. That's the truth that makes him continue to put on the suit every night, even though the wounds inflicted on him the previous night are still healing.
But are they really making a difference? Aren't they just lunatics running around in kevlar and spandex. Isn't all the grime and mold of the city simply feeding off of them like leeches?
Dick can't focus on that now. Questioning his life choices might have to wait until he's not that tied up.
Heh. Tied up.
Meanwhile Cecile has exploited the moment of nonplussed silence she's created to tighten her sleek ponytail.
Keeping the attention to herself. Every move is calculated to milliseconds.
"Okay, so here's how this is going to go" she begins, clasping her hands together, then motioning towards their hanging limbs. "Do you see those cool little bracelets on your hands?"
On cue, nine heads tilt upwards to test Cecile's statement. And there, right on his forearm Dick can spot a faint blue light shining dully on what seems to be the middle of a silver-like device.
"Those give us, the immense pleasure of electrocuting you whenever you folks might try to escape, or cause any unwanted trouble" she informs, with her mouth taut into a completely mechanical smile.
"Or.. you know. If we're just bored and feel like it"
"And this little screen right in front of you, it's pretty bland now, if you ask me"
She then starts pacing around in the segregated room, seeming to find great amusement in hearing how her heels click against the concrete.
"Well what if I told you the sight will get more entertaining?"
Dick doesn't like this.
"Before you ask, I will not spoil the experience for you. But I will give you this: you will be the stars of a grand performance. You in particular, circus boy should be thrilled by this fact"
He flinches when he mentions him in that way. It's then that his mind fully comprehend just how much she knows them.
It's not just some kidnapping, of those they've had many before. But it's never been like this. Never has a stranger gotten so close only to betray them for laughs.
Some could argue that it was a similar case when Jason had come back, but Jason had always had a motivation. A goal.
Cecile's doing this for nothing else than pleasure.
Before he can compose himself and reply her voice strikes again, this time in the form of a snarl. "So? Any volunteers?"
No, Dick doesn't like this at all.
"Leave them alone" Bruce demands, only it's not precisely Bruce anymore. Not only has his voice assumed the dark edge of the Knight, but his speech is completely neutral, apathetic. Somehow, his emotional state is even more prominent that way.
"It's me you want to get back to"
"Oh, no" Cecile frowns. "No, no Brucie. This is not about you. Hell, it's not even about them. It's about me. And I say it will be nicer to leave you for last."
She rests a finger on her chin contemplatively, but it's fake. It's all fake, and provocatively so. Cecile's head twists around so that her malicious glare lands on Damian.
"How about our little asshole over here?"
No. Not Damian. Never in a million years. Never in a billion years.
"If you value your life you'll stay away you imbecilic Jezebel" Damian hisses, but Cecile makes no motion to enter their space. Instead, the man in black leaves his post to disappear behind the door Cecile had previously entered from, most likely leading even further away.
"I do value my life"
He comes back with three more identically dressed men, one slightly leaner than the other, and one slightly taller.
"Plenty, for that" she says loftily, and while one of the men returns to his post by her side, the other two barge in through a barely visible door next to the right end of the glass.
There's an outrage as the men quickly advance towards the boy. Everything's blurry and spinning and his ears are ringing so that Dick can't quite figure out if he's shouting along with his brothers and sisters or if he's simply been trapped in a lucid dream all this time.
Voices and bangs and thuds and yells, it all gets lost in the end. So much thunderous noice, yet still it can he broken down to its core. Raw and frantic cries of dissent, repeated over and over in a canon, until the words and senses are but a blurred collage of ire and desolation.
Cecile whips a rectangular device from her suit's pocket and before her finger has enough time to hover above one of the polished buttons, the last is pressed and Damian's body is released from the pipeline.
The boy wastes no time, immediately lunging for the men, and despite any rust slowing down his joints because of their inactivity, he manages to hold off the two men looming over him with size thrice his own.
Dick wants to hold hope inside his heart, but he knows it's futile. He also knows Damian is aware that this fight was lost before it even began, but his baby brother isn't a quitter, nor a coward by his own standards.
If Cecile is startled by Damian's fierce resistance, she doesn't let it show. Her finger finds the device held loosely in her grasp, and a different button is pushed. Sparks that are birthed from the device on Damian's forearm begin to climb throughout his every inch of flesh, until he soon collapses to the ground -like lifeless weight.
The men drag him out of their view, and Dick swears he witnessed a smirk manifesting on their faces while they yelled with all their might, yet completely powerless.
***
It starts with low and hollow grunts. It starts with insults, it starts with defiance, it starts with barely discernible hisses.
Most importantly, it starts with no image.
Only screams. Separated by breathless gasps.
"Please, stop"
Dick's heart shrinks into his chest, sinking deep, deep down, until his lungs are under too much pressure to expand.
The screen flickers to life only after the first hollow screams have subsided.
It's.. not a good sight. Nobody expected it to be.
The room is small and dark, the camera feed is black and white and grainy, but that doesn't help in reducing the horror.
The image focuses enough for Dick to make out Cecile finishing stitching deep gashes on Damian's torso back together in the worst way possible.
Cecile retracts her hand hastily, like she's forgotten something. She lolls her head to the side, waving primly towards the camera.
"Stay tuned for a surprise" she whispers almost conspiratorially before turning to Damian, severing the thread with her own fingers, picking at flesh and stretching it out until he's bleeding again all over the gurney he's tied onto.
Damian struggles not to let her hear the sound she would find oh so hedonic. He grits his teeth and grinds his jaw, but groans emanate from him without his consent.
Cecile sets the sutures and her other tools on a filthy table standing miserably beside her.
"Your brother's such an ass" she declares almost smugly, while shifting in her place to face the camera
Without a warning she pokes a finger inside Damian's open wound, evoking a strangled yelp of agony. Soon enough Cecile's retracted her finger. She brings her hand up to her face. She makes a show of admiring the fresh blood coating it, before she tastes it.
She giggles nonchalantly, but there's that certain grace to everything she does.
"Don't worry. We're not done yet"
No. No, this can't happen. He can't let this go on any longer than it already has.
He has to take his place. He'll take his brother's place. Just, god. Just please listen..
"Take me instead!" Dick screams at the top of his lungs, and the dread climbing up his ribcage seeps into his voice. Bent in ways abnormal, tuning in with his despair.
"Do you hear me?!"
He's flailing around wildly and almost hysterically, his voice is getting hoarser by the second. Kicking and bumping the air, but the chains are relentless, so that he's supposed to sit idly by and watch while his little brother is being tortured.
All alone in a dark room.
The man standing tall and unmoving on the other side of the glass only smirks slightly.
"Leave Damian alone!" Dick roars at the screen, and roars at the man, but he knows it's pointless.
Cecile smiles once again to the direction of the camera as she elegantly walks away from Damian, leaving him alone strapped to the gurney -panting, sweat dripping down his forehead.
Damian's head follows the woman even as she disappears out of Dick's sight. The boy's face crumples. Breathless pleas escape his trembling lips, in swift exhales of air that hold no power.
"Please no"
She reemerges cradling an incandescent piece of metal. The sickening calmness on her face is doused in its fiery glow, and all Dick can utter as he goes deathly pale and still is a breathless "No"
Dick finally has enough contact with reality to register his brothers and sisters' own twisting and shouting. The sounds are earpiercing but all hollow to his ears, and Dick only does acknowledge their existence by sight of tears on enraged faces, jaws snapping open with enough force to dislocate, muscles toned and clenched uncomfortably, bodies bent and struggling, in futile attempts to raise enough force and reach the glass to perhaps create a distraction.
Dick can't figure out the faces from his peripheral vision, nor does he care enough to try.
"No."
His eyes are stubbornly fixed on Damian's own, shining wide with terror as the metal illuminates his skin more and more clearly on the screen. On Damian, desperately tugging against the straps keeping him bound to the gurney to no avail, struggling to be freed before the red-hot iron burns the exposed skin of his chest.
"No.. please no" Damian mumbles, and he looks so small. Smaller than a child his age should look. More frightened than a child his age should be.
Dick had promised -to him and to himself- that he'd always be there for his little brother.
He watches helplessly as the metal sizzles the first layer of flesh. He watches as his little brother writhes and squirmes helplessly under the red-hot iron melting into his skin, and he realizes he can't keep his promise.
No, no, no, no, no
Damian is screaming with all his soul and all Cecile does is laugh. Cecile is laughing, and Damian is being tortured because Dick couldn't keep his promise.
He failed him.
"Take me!"
Please no. Not Dami.
Every inch and acre of Dick's skin feels set aflame, but the pain is nothing but the child of wildfire blazing and burning in his chest. Its smoke has filled his eyes with tears burning like acid.
Failed him.
In his ears buzz cracking woods and falling towers. Not his brother's screams and pleas for mercy, not the echoes of laughter, not the thundering cries of their family.
Failed.
And because of his failure his little robin is expected to endure agonizing pain, as also the wounds inflicted on him are what make Dick's failure not only discernible but grievous.
Failure equals repercussions.
Failure equals punishment.
Perhaps it's irrational, and perhaps he's lost his mind long, long ago. Perhaps this is all a nightmare that he can't wake up from, but Dick's senses don't deceive him.
His every cell is howling in despair but yelling and praying are not enough to relieve them of their pain. Flowers buried deep in ice, frantically searching for sunlight- too frantically to know that they're dead.
Dick failed him. Dick should have been the one punished for this failure.
Only moments have passed but the agony grabs them and twists them, draws them out until seconds can't be told apart by eons.
Dick's eyes are fixed on the form spasming on the screen, but those eyes are empty and hollow.
Their azure blue has evaporated, their glossy white has been burnt to the ground. Obsidian vortexes shining with the life they've stolen from his soul in the half light, is all that is left of them.
Damian's voice is rough from the perpetual screaming, but Dick can hear no more.
So he prays to whatever deity listens that Cecile is reached by his own cries tearing through his throat with fading intensity. Perhaps so loudly the air is grazing his vocal cords more harshly than it should.
Perhaps so loudly he is already silent.
But Dick won't mind it even if they fail to produce a sound ever after these, as long as his flesh is torn and burnt instead of Dami's.
The flesh being torn and burnt is his, in a way, but not in any way that matters.
The iron is removed and Damian's face slowly appears behind the sparse smoke of his own smoldering skin.
***
Cecile reappears behind the glass, walking ever so elegantly towards the barrier separating her from them. She peers at each and every one of them in amusement, deaf to te insults so full of hatred being hurled at her from every corner.
She smiles at the teary paths staining Cass and Barbara's cheeks,
"You fucking-"
"-embodiment of evil and-"
"go-"
She laughs at the veins popping on Duke, Jason and Stephanie's necks as they shout their lungs out, feebly attempting to stop the world from sinking,
"I'm gonna fucking kill you"
"Jay calm down-"
"You repulsive.. abomination-"
"-to hell-"
She gracefully snickers at Tim and Bruce's state of dishevelled resignation, a progression of the rage and agony to the point where they're no more prominent than their breathing,
"You hear me? You're going to burn-"
"Don't you dare tell me to calm the fuck down, replacement"
"-in hell"
"He's right Jason, this doesn't help Dam-"
"you'll wish you were dead before I get my hands on you"
But she stops in her track when her piercing hazel eyes land on Dick. So visibly worn out, yet determinedly burning holes through her with his glare.
She stops, and can only regard him in newfound interest.
Dick doesn't shift in his place. Doesn't bat an eye as he speaks with the power of a thousand thunderstorms enhancing the calmness in his voice.
He's made up his mind.
It's his failure.
His decision.
"You'll stop" he says, almost nonchalantly.
Cecile cocks an eyebrow, scoffing.
"Excuse me?"
"You'll bring Damian back here with us. And you'll stop."
Cecile smirks ever so slightly. "I'm afraid I'm not quite done with your brother yet. Besides, why would I do that?"
"Because you will" Dick growls, but soon enough he masks his outburst beneath a carefully tailored poker face.
Something unreadable passes across the woman's face. Dick assumes she's caught up to his thinking. Of course she has.
"Well, you wound me!" Cecile exaggerates, clasping a hand to her chest. Overacting the entire thing, on purpose no less. She's proven to be too much of a hypocrite for Dick to know she's only acting terribly on purpose.
His stomach is urging him once more to let its contents out, only this time he's not sure it's just a lingering side effect of the drug.
"Although, while wounded, you can consider me intrigued."
Dick swallows thickly. He hopes Cecile doesn't hear him gulp as loudly as he sounds to his own ears.
"You'll stop. Leave Damian alone" he says and although his heart is beating a hundred times faster than it should, his stare is unyielding.
"And you'll take me instead"
Cecile eyes him half incredulously, half entertained, for moments that feels like an eternity. Dick is convinced his soul has already left his body, and the woman is simply left staring blankly at his hanging corpse.
She's still staring vacantly at his direction, with no indication of the fact changing.
But then she chuckles.
She chuckles, and soon snickers are finding their way up her throat one after the other, until her shoulders are shaking with laughter.
Yet the laughs escaping her are perfectly normal. Perfectly contained, just the average sound that could be prompted by an oddly funny joke. A joke so ridiculous it fulfills its purpose.
Perhaps that's the most terrifying part. How human it is.
And Dick is showered in cold sweat when he repeats himself, voice sounding just a little more tight and frantic than need be, but Cecile pays him no mind, laughing silently on her own.
Cecile -most likely pointedly- ignores his protests, which are growing more and more despondent as he's fumbling for words, caught somewhere in the crevasse dividing dread and ire.
"Do whatever you want to do to me! Just-"
He's just a child. Just an innocent child.
"-just leave Damian alone. And take me." Dick says.
An innocent boy caught in the crossfire of a war he never swore to fight, but was instead compelled to win.
His brother caught in the crossfire. His Dami.
His fault.
Dick's stuck in a loop. It doesn't end, it never does. Once it's starts there's no end to look forward to, there's merely one he can imagine, and they won't let him follow it.
All air leaves his lungs. Everything seems so peaceful when the flames tingling his heart have no more smoke to give.
"Take me."
His fault. His responsibility.
"Dick, no," Bruce pleads from behind him. Only then is it that he realizes the rest of them have grown silent, all eyes on him, reflecting the light nearly pensively.
Only then is it that he realizes he's been toeing the line of hysteria. That he doesn't know how to stop.
"B, I have to. I can't let Damia-"
"And I can't let any of you!" Bruce snaps. Dick is taken aback, only not due to the sonorous anger redirected towards him. Rather by the tears he can see glistening all over his father's irises.
Tears.
Shining all across his father's eyes.
Under the enemy's scrutinus gaze, and still he let the sorrow swim all the way up to the surface.
Cecile has stopped laughing. Openly at least, as her palm is covering her mouth in a futile attempt to stifle the giggles, perhaps not wanting to disturb the show. The bright smile lighting her eyes betrays her nonetheless.
"You're my son, Dick. I can't let you do this. I can't let another of my children do this" Bruce concludes, never ending eye contact.
Never trying to deny the tears.
All Dick wants is to give in to the pain of his own, and let Bruce wipe at his eyes and tell him it's all going to be alright, just when he was little.
But he isn't little anymore, is he?
Is he?
Is he strong enough?
No. Not a question. He has to. He has to be-
"I was dead, I should go in next. There's nothing she can do to me that I haven't already gone through" his brother's voice cuts in, disrupting the debate that's been won in his mind, long before it even started.
"Half of us have died, Jason" Stephanie counters. "I don't mind going myself"
"You're not going Steph"
"I'll go then"
"The hell you are, replacement. You didn't make the cut for our club the first time, you'll not make it now.
"Are we seriously having this conversation right now?"
Cass clears her throat to get their attention.
"Me" she offers, and immediately after she's met with loud protests.
Dick watches as the others continue to fight between them, arguing on who should trade places with Damian. They can't understand that he has to do it. He doesn't expect them to. So when Cecile laughs and asks who's it going to be?, his decision is adamant.
"Like I said. It will be me" Dick insists.
He's not little anymore.
"No." Bruce says sternly. "No, you won't go. Do you hear me?"
He is strong enough. He has to be, so he's going to be.
Dick hears him, although elects to ignore him, staring proudly ahead, at the two men walking inside to retrieve him.
Bruce then is yelling, and the others protest, some are still fighting over which one of them should take Damian's place but it's already too late. The cuffs clink open and the two men go to stand by either of Dick's side as soon as his feet touch the ground.
Dick doesn't fight them. He doesn't mind being pushed around with his arms pressed behind his back so tightly his already sore muscles hurt as his arms are straining to bend backwards despite his flexibility. He doesn't mind, because he's doing it for his brother.
As long as his brother's safely reunited with the others, it doesn't matter whatever they might do to him.
Dick sends one last look to his family, and another full of a different kind of love directed right at Babs. He hopes his eyes delivers the thousand messages he doesn't have the time to relay with phrases.
The room is left in hush when the door slides closed behind him.
As far as looks go, Dick's were farewells.
As soon as Dick's dragged into the small room whose horrid purpose he's seen on camera, he spots Damian sitting upright against a corner, with a gun pressed to his temple.
Dick's shoulders stiffen and a breath catches on his throat. Still, it's all going to be alright. It's all going to be okay. Damian's going to be okay.
"I'd advise you not to try anything smart, or-"
"I won't" Dick interrupts sharply.
Cecile stands to the side and gestures towards a skeletal armchair with untied restraining straps. Dick shudders at the thought of how many people have suffered on this same chair, and his stomach fills with dread as the knowledge that he's next settles in.
"Grayson wh-"
"It's okay Dames" Dick says softly, scrambling to regain his composure as he's forced onto the blood stained metal by the men.
He winces when they securely latch the straps around his wrists and ankles, so tightly the leather is pressing into his skin, disrupting blood circulation.
Damian looks hurt and afraid, so Dick does his best swallow his own accelerating fear and suppress the shivers running down his spine, triggered by the icy feeling of metal on his skin.
"Everything is going to be okay"
Dick locks eyes with him and plasters something that feels like the poor excuse of a smile on his face, but he knows it must appear somewhat comforting to his little brother.
Masking his unraveling self beneath a charming smile and a lighthearted joke has always been his gift and curse.
Cecile clasps her hands together impatiently and nods towards the man holding the gun. He hastily shoves Damian into the arms of the leanest of the men, while his extended arm is turned around to point at Dick's head instead.
Damian yelps and as his arms are restrained behind his back, the hideous burn on his exposed chest comes into Dick's full view.
Dick's breath hitches despite himself and.. and..
It's...
The ghastly tendrils of burnt skin spreading across his little Robin's chest that spell out the word brat…
Dick could never describe the utter despair and pain and sorrow and ire and helplessness he feels, yet he doesn't have the time to stare right through the monstrosity etched onto his little brother's flesh as suddenly his chin is being pushed uncomfortably upwards by the barrel of the gun being pressed firmly against the soft skin right above his neck.
As Dick gulps, his Adam's apple bobs almost visibly on his inconveniently prolonged neck. The underlying dizziness finds the perfect opportunity to strike him again as his head slightly lolls backwards.
He no longer sees Damian, but amidst the sounds of his heartbeat echoing from inside the veins and taut muscles in his neck, a small and strangled Richard finds its way to his ears.
"I'm fine" Dick assures, even though he's nothing but. "I'll be fine. Love you, lil bro"
The absence of an answer doesn't concern him as much as that of shuffling or any indication that Damian is guided out of the room.
That is, until a delicate stray sniffle rips his heart apart.
If he could glance at his little Dami, he'd be able to see his reflection fall from his watering eyes in teardrops that he can no longer contain.
Dick can imagine the silently crying face, and so he shuts his eyes closed harshly, trapping inside all the pain and anguish lest it makes way to the surface
With a wavering voice he demands:
"Now let Damian go"
When he reopens his eyes with a breathy gasp he's all alone, bound to the metal skeleton of the chair.
Relief floods his heart.
If any more blood is to be spilt, it shall be his.
#whumptober2020#no.9#take me instead#dick grayson#damian wayne#batfam#no. 6#stop please#no.14#branding#child abuse tw#torture tw#angst#whump#graphic depictions of violence#self sacrifice#my writing#batman#dc comics#batfam fic#bruce wayne#nightwing#robin#original female character#dc#no.3#held at gunpoint#no.21#altprompt
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Stay Golden Sunday: The Operation
Dorothy needs surgery and must confront her fear of hospitals. Blanche and Rose work on their tap routine.
Picture It...
Blanche and Rose carry Dorothy into the house, limping. She somehow injured herself while they were rehearsing their tap dance routine, which Rose is only too happy to demonstrate. Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy go into the kitchen, where Rose apologizes for being a little overexcited about tapdancing. When Dorothy spasms in pain again, Blanche and Rose insist she needs to go see a doctor. Dorothy is resistant, but agrees when she can’t manage even a single tap without pain.
DOROTHY: Alright alright, I’ll go . . . for the sake of the act.
BLANCHE: If you want to do something for the sake of the act, have one of those two left feet made into a right one.
Blanche and Rose are doing their dance in the living room. It’s a cute little routine that involves each of the girls getting a solo tap. They leave a gap for Dorothy’s solo, and Blanche quietly frets about Dorothy’s health in time to the song. Sophia comes in just as they’re finishing the song and refuses to join in.
Dorothy comes home with a cane, but insists that she’ll be okay with some rest. Sophia immediately knows she’s lying, and Dorothy confesses the doctor actually said she has a tumor in her foot and needs surgery. It’s a simple surgery, but Dorothy refuses to do it, as she’s afraid of hospitals. The other Girls try to talk her into it, but she’s not listening to reason. Sophia pulls out her best Italian mother skills and guilts Dorothy into it.
DOROTHY: Ma, it’s my foot.
SOPHIA: Your foot, my heart. Do you have any idea how much a mother suffers when she sees her child in pain?
DOROTHY: Look Ma, don’t do this--
SOPHIA: I’ll tell you how much. Worse than the twenty-three hours of labor it took to-
DOROTHY & SOPHIA: --bring you into this world. Worse than the burns I got working nights as a fry cook to help put you through college. Worse than--
DOROTHY: Alright! Alright Ma! I’ll have the surgery. You win. You always win, but you don’t play fair.
SOPHIA: That’s why I always win.
The Girls visit Dorothy in her hospital room, and comfort her before her surgery -- or try to; Rose and Sophia don’t help much. After they leave, Dorothy’s new doctor comes in and reveals her previous surgeon is being sued for malpractice and he (the new doctor) won’t say why, and half-jokingly tells her how likely she is to die during the surgery. Later a priest comes in while Dorothy is sleeping to perform the Last Rites on a patient for whom he mistakes Dorothy, and scares her by offering to come by after her surgery to do the same. She puts on her coat and flees the hospital.
From her bedroom, Blanche catches Dorothy by her sliding door trying to sneak back into the house. Rose also saw her and comes in to see what’s wrong. They try to talk Dorothy into going back by talking to her about facing her fears, but Dorothy’s not having it. Sophia comes in, and isn’t pleased to see Dorothy there. Dorothy reveals why she’s so scared: She was left alone in the hospital at age 5 before her tonsil operation. Sophia finally puts her foot down and threatens to cut Dorothy’s tumor out herself if Dorothy doesn’t go back.
ROSE: Blanche, call the police! I just saw a big, ugly man with a limp walk past my bedroom window. He was wearing Dorothy’s coat! *sees Dorothy* But then again, it was dark, and I tend to overdramatize. What are you doing home?
BLANCHE: She snuck out of the hospital. She’s too scared to have her operation.
ROSE: Dorothy!
DOROTHY: Look, I couldn’t help it! When the doctor came in with the release form, he told me what could possibly go wrong. I just panicked!
BLANCHE: Darling, nothing is going to go wrong.
ROSE: Blanche is right. Of course, one summer when I was a candy striper, you wouldn’t believe the things I saw. Lost patients, mixed-up medications, botched operations--
DOROTHY: Rose, do a big, ugly man with a limp a favor and shut up.
Dorothy is wheeled back into the hospital room, where she’s got a new roommate. Bonnie, the other woman, is upbeat and makes conversation with Dorothy, who warns that she’ll be cranky. Bonnie tells Dorothy that her own surgery is happening after Dorothy’s, and she’s surprisingly calm about it. She’s having her second mastectomy, and admits she’s scared, but says she’s reconciled herself to the situation. After all, she doesn’t really have any other choice. Dorothy is quietly ashamed of herself for the way she’s been acting.
Later, Blanche and Rose are getting ready to go perform their now two-person tap recital, but Blanche is nervous and jittery. When Rose confronts her, Blanche confesses that she hasn’t told Rose something: She’s afraid of performing, and she wet her pants during her first ballet recital as a little girl. So now she doesn’t think she can do the tap recital. Rose, however, isn’t sympathetic -- in fact, she snaps on Blanche and tells her to buck up in the most amazing way possible before dragging her out.
ROSE: Hey, we’ve all got our sad stories.
BLANCHE: What?
ROSE: Look Blanche, we’ve practiced for six weeks. We’ve paid for our costumes. We told everybody we’d be there. Now you’re not going to wimp out on me. You’re gonna go to that recital. And if you end up in a puddle tonight, well you’d just better break into “Singin’ in the Rain.”
Dorothy wakes up in her hospital bed with Sophia next to her. Sophia is more gentle now that Dorothy’s had the surgery, if a bit grumpy from spending so much time in a chair next to Dorothy’s bed. Dorothy looks over to thank Bonnie, but she’s not there. No, she hasn’t gone to surgery -- she’s getting Sophia a sandwich.
Blanche and Rose arrive from the recital to check on Dorothy, who asks how the performance went. They were a hit with the crowd, and they’ve received several requests to perform again. Dorothy is excited to dance again once she recovers. Blanche and Rose have to awkwardly admit that they have reworked their act from the Tip Tap Trio to the Two Merry Widows. They proceed to show off their new routine to Dorothy and Sophia, including throwing flowers from a decoration onto Dorothy’s face for some reason. Once they finish the dance, Dorothy initially applauds them, then proceeds to put her fist through Rose’s top hat.
“I won’t dance! Don’t ask me!”
It’s another Dorothy spotlight episode, and another one where she has one of her less-flattering character traits brought to light. I don’t know if it was because Bea Arthur was the most recognizable actress out of the four at the time (which is debatable, I admit), but Dorothy sometimes feels like the “main” character of the first season. I could be wrong, but I think we’ve had more Dorothy-centric episodes this first season than anyone else-centric. I may have to do a season breakdown after we finish this first season just to see how it shakes out.
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In any case, here we get to see Dorothy having anxiety about hospitals and surgery. While I do enjoy a good Very Special Episode every now and then, I enjoy it more when Golden Girls deals with fear in an amusing way. The actresses are all good enough to sell both versions, but the funny ones usually have some of the best scene setups, and this episode is no exception. Dorothy getting scared in her hospital room by three well-meaning-but-tactless people in rapid succession -- Rose, Dr. Revell, and the priest -- is one of those things that shouldn’t be funny, but really, really is.
Realistically, I would probably be running too if my surgeon’s bedside manner were as bad as Dr. Revell’s, to say nothing of encountering a priest who’s a little too eager to perform the Last Rites on me. Bea Arthur’s reactions are what sell the humor -- I could (and someday might) write a whole paean to Dorothy reaction shots.
BLANCHE: *about Dorothy’s hospital room* Isn’t it a lovely room, Rose?
ROSE: Very lovely. I just keep wondering how many people have never left this room?
DOROTHY: Where are they, Rose? Hiding in the shower?
This is one of the better-balanced episodes. Blanche and Rose hold down the B-plot while Dorothy takes the A-plot, with Sophia running support for both plots (though only briefly for the B-plot). I know I talk about this a lot, but I’m mostly doing it to show how the show changes and improves over time. It’s really hard to write a story with four primary characters and ensure they all get their share of attention. Sure, only one or maybe two Girls are the main character in every episode’s story, but even when that’s the case, all of the non-main Girls should get an equal amount of screen time. My intent is to show how the writers get better at this throughout the show’s run. And this is one of the really good first-season episodes for balance. All four Girls are present for the major scenes and no one is forgotten.
The condition Dorothy has, Morton’s neuroma, is a real thing, by the way. Dorothy’s case must be pretty severe: According to the Mayo Clinic, it’s a swelling in the tissue around one of the nerves leading to the toes. It can be treated in various other ways, with surgery being a last resort. Dorothy’s original lie about how the doctor told her to “take it a little easy for a few days” would indeed have been one of the treatments they’d have tried first, probably.
SOPHIA: *after Dorothy says she has to take it easy* You’re lying.
ROSE: Oh Sophia, Dorothy wouldn’t lie!
SOPHIA: A mother knows when her child is lying. It’s like bat radar.
This episode features one of the more cursory of the side characters in this show: Bonnie, Dorothy’s hospital roommate who inadvertently helps her cope with her hospital phobia. I say “cursory” because she’s not a major character in the episode, appearing in only one scene and having only a few minutes of screen time, but she does trigger an epiphany in Dorothy. I kind of wish she were around longer, because as a character she’s kind of one-note. She has to be the one who finally gets Dorothy to calm herself and get through the surgery, which she does by being the world’s most stoic cancer patient.
I get the idea: Her dignity in the face of her very serious surgery is intended to do what Sophia’s threats and guilt and the other Girls’ reasoning couldn’t. Trouble is, I’m not exactly sure how -- by which I mean, I don’t know if Dorothy feels “like a damn fool” because Bonnie’s showed her how to brave her way through the fear, or because she’s realized her operation is relatively easy and low-stakes compared with Bonnie’s. Either would fit the narrative, honestly. I almost wish we got to see the scene where Bonnie agrees to fetch Sophia dinner from the cafeteria, because at least then Bonnie could have shown a little humor.
BONNIE: I hope my exercising doesn’t bother you.
DOROTHY: No, not at all. What is it, some kind of therapy you have to do?
BONNIE: No, I just like to stay healthy.
DOROTHY: Hate to break this to you Bonnie: You’re in a hospital. The exercises aren’t working.
But if the A-plot ends on a somewhat bland note, I think the B-plot more than makes up for it. In fact, I’d hazard a guess that Rose and Blanche’s dance scenes are what most people remember this episode for, rather than Dorothy’s fears. Dancing and singing on this show is almost always a treat: These actresses were ridiculously talented, and from what I can tell from the behind-the-scenes material, they also looked forward to doing these scenes. Neither Rue McClanahan nor Betty White had much tap experience, so they would walk around the studio in their tap shoes to get used to the sound. According to Betty, they would also dance a bit as they did so, because it’s hard to be in tap shoes and not tip-tap around.
We also get to see a bit more of Rose the Hardass in this episode. It turns out it’s not just bowling that brings out Rose’s aggressive side. Usually Rose is only this way in competition, but in this case I think she’d just had enough after spending the whole episode trying to coddle Dorothy, only for Blanche to panic a couple of hours before a recital for which they’d been practicing six weeks. I question why Blanche’s fear of performing didn’t come up at any point during those weeks, but Blanche does say she’d thought she was over it. In any case, it’s also a little bit cathartic for the audience, who might just want to snap on someone after watching almost a whole episode of Dorothy stubbornly refusing to move past her childhood trauma. I’m not saying Dorothy’s not sympathetic, but I think we needed that moment of someone harshly telling the complaining person to just get over themselves after the more quiet humbling she got from Bonnie.
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I also found a quote in Golden Girls Forever from producer Winifred Hervey saying that everyone was admiring Betty’s and Rue’s legs while filming these scenes. And they do, indeed, have very nice legs. Though I will say the one big question that lingers over this episode is: Given that Dorothy says the recital is “next week” the same day she first injures herself, how in the heck did Rose and Blanche manage to scramble together a whole new dance routine in a week?
Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰 (three cheesecake slices out of five)
Favorite part of the episode:
The performance of the Two Merry Widows.
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#golden girls#stay golden sunday#dorothy zbornak#sophia petrillo#picture it#stay golden#blanche devereaux#rose nylund#s01e18#the operation
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— && guests may mistake me as ( normani ), but really i am ( taline mar + cis female + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 12/26/1996 ). i am a ( dance teacher ) and would like to stay in suite ( 309 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( idealistic & charismatic ), but i can also be ( domineering & scatter-brained ) at times. personally, i like to ( listen to podcasts, shop online & solve crossword puzzles ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( flamin’ hot cheetos ) to have in my suite. thank you for checking in! ( nessa, est, 21 ).
tw: mentions of anxiety.
hello, my babies! okay, i swear, this is the last muse i’m bringing in for y’all. the muse with fiona just didn’t click as i hoped it would so i decided to bring back a favorite muse of mine, taline! you’re a real og if you remember when i first played her. anyways, i literally can’t think of how to do an intro post, wowie, but below will have some info about her! if you wanna know more about her you can check out her pinterest board here or her full bio here! i’m always down to plot, so lmk if you’d like to plot and we can work something out!
as of right now, she is keeping herself focused on herself and uses her job as a dance teacher as a form of every day therapy. she’s been living in chicago for about two to three years so far. in her spare time, she helps tutor kids after school and likes to shop online. taline swears those are the only things keeping her sane.
let’s get a few things out of the way: taline is both distant and clingy at the same time. she doesn’t let a crap ton of people close to her but once she does, she can be draining. she texts about random things that she thinks her friends will enjoy. she asks how they are all the time. she wants to hang out and watch movies and cuddle a lot. she wants to cook for them and buy them things. she wants to share her favorite books with them. she wants to witness their shocked faces during the plot twists of her favorite movies. it isn’t uncommon for her to have to be told that someone needs a break from her for a few days. she tries not to take those times personally but the majority of the time after being pushed away for a breather, taline is unsure of what to do with herself and gets fretful and does massive amounts of work and dancing.
taline is frequently told that she could be a politician due to her diplomatic presence and strong-willed mindset. even so, she has much interest in politics as a profession, and takes it as a compliment and revels in the fact that people think so highly of her.
hardened by the unwanted advances and crass comments people would throw at her when she was younger, the brown-eyed beauty has perfected the art of appearing intimidating and serious. but the reality is that she has a fantastic sense of humor that can be cracked into by treating her the way everyone else didn’t – like a human being and not an object.
taline fits very well into the “femme fatale” trope and often receives comparisons to michaela pratt from htgawm for both her sophisticated sense of style and bold personality. somewhat of an uptight perfectionist, she has always followed the rules and is her own worst critic.
despite her demeanor, the young woman is extremely caring and always wants the people she cares about to be comfortable and happy. when she’s very close to a person, she can be very emotional expressive towards them. she doesn’t mind expressing her feelings and thoughts with someone she’s extremely close to. in fact, she finds it therapeutic. of course, this is something that comes over time when you’re her friend. she doesn’t get close to people very easily.
everything that she does is very methodical and thought out. she’s not afraid to flaunt her intelligence, nor is she afraid to intimidate people by shoving her systematic way of life in their face if it benefits her. taline is a very cut-throat type of person when it comes down to it, but it’s because she believes she deserves the best and will do anything to get it.
due to her own arrogance and intelligence, taline has an opinion on everything and a tendency to share those opinions when it’s not necessarily appropriate, which gets her in trouble frequently.
she no longer speaks to her father due to the fact that the pressure he put her under caused her to suffer from anxiety attacks. she’s currently looking for a good therapist since she’s still dealing with the impact of his words and the expectations he set for her.
she moved to chicago a few months after dropping out of the graduate program at vanderbilt university. she wanted a clean slate since she was always surrounded by the same people for the past few years. chicago seemed like a good idea to her and it would be an easy escape from hearing her father’s nagging.
currently, she is living at the malnati while teaching at the small dance studio she works at. she posts on youtube every other week and has recently gotten on the tiktok bandwagon. she moved to chicago because it reminded her a little bit of indianapolis and she needed a new place of scenery to reinvent herself. at the moment, there is no family in the picture as taline has been estranged from hers since she was twenty one for choosing to pursue her own dreams instead of trying to fit into the neat little box they’d carved for her. that has left a pretty big void in her life that she chose to ignore and then fill with dance.
to help her make a little money on the side, she has an onlyfans account. she enjoys showing herself off in lingerie. taline at night vs. taline during the day is such a difference that it will blow your mind.
plotting
at first glance, there isn’t very much to taline. she’s the girl who is impeccably dressed with a wide grin on her face and a childlike kindness that makes her embrace everyone she meets with open arms. she goes to great lengths to make sure that is all that people see; that she is recognized as the ex-rich girl who lucked into her own brand of success with her youtube channel. she genuinely adores people from all walks of life and takes great joy in getting to know them. honestly, taline is a combination of a really reliable friend and someone who frequently just disappears off the face for months at a time when she's focusing on her work. she's surprisingly introverted for the job she has and can be something of a hermit, but if a friend needs her she'll dust herself off and come out of her hole. she's an interesting person to have around and has stories for days, but can be a little self-involved and work-obsessed. she's also not great at talking about her feelings unless she's pissed off. she's a lot of fun, though, and loves to party.
i can see taline having a lot of friends but many of them not being particularly good ones. she's a very charismatic and outgoing person but also withdrawn in the sense that a lot of her friendships are very surface level. it takes a lot for her to decide to let someone get much closer but when she does, she's a good friend who will look out for the other person. she just has a tendency to put herself first because she doesn't feel like anyone else will do it for her, so she needs to do it herself. she also grew up feeling pretty lonely and i think part of the reason why she'd have so many superficial friends.
in conclusion: taline is someone with a kind heart who would give the shirt right off her back for anyone she deems a friend. she’s open-minded, loving, and incredibly forgiving when she wants to be. she definitely has her faults. she can be vain and self-involved and a little unreliable as she’s incredibly disorganized. it tends to be made up for with her genuinely good nature, how eager she is to please and how prone she is to spoiling her friends. overall, she's a good friend to have around when she decides to attach herself to you!
on the flip side, taline loves a good debate, and honestly, loves a good fight. she's full of opinions and refuses to believe that she could be wrong. losing an argument or debate is not in her vocab. she is argumentative and also quite moral/righteous. with that being said, there will also be people she rubs the wrong way. being a strong character and a person not afraid of confrontation, taline frequently ends up in situations where she antagonizes others. when she believes in something, she's very adamant about it and she will fight for it, even if she's not always in the right. she's very passionate and very outspoken and she tends to step on people's toes more often than not. she's also stubborn and doesn't easily see her own mistakes, so she's been known to keep holding onto her opinion even when it's been obviously wrong. get into a heavy conversation with her at your own peril, xo.
despite having a lot of acquaintances, i would like for her to have a circle of tight friends, people she is incredibly close with that she trusts implicitly. some she's known for a long time and some that maybe are newer but they feel its like they've known each other forever. just give this girl her pals, please!
she has plans to open her own studio in the near future, so anyone who be interested in aiding to her dream or who wants lessons or even just a place to practice could befriend her.
she is a hopeless romantic, through and through. she is something of a serial monogamist where she wants to be in a relationship because they help ease some of the insecurities she’s been battling with since she was disowned by her family. she tends to put all of that yearning for their approval into relationships with other people. she’s bisexual, and she’s interested in people who can make her laugh and feel comfortable. she likes the idea of having a partner in her life but she's also so independent and in her own world, so she hasn't ever been particularly good at dating. if we’re being honest, the only serious relationship she has ever been in was with moira sanchez back in college, and she’s still mending a broken heart from that.
she's very protective over her own feelings but equally tends to jump into things too fast and then back the hell out all of a sudden. if she does choose to be in a relationship, i think she’s quite picky with who she decides to do that with because she had a childhood of not receiving the love she needed and i think that shows in her approach to romantic relationships (ouch). i can't see her having loads of hookups since she does tend to project onto someone who shows her attention or affection. she falls hard for people, especially people she starts sleeping with. fwb or fuck buddy relationships often become complicated for her or they evolve into something that ultimately ends. she’s unlucky in love, to put it simple.
wanted plots
left brain, right brain. taline’s other half. the two couldn’t be more different regarding their behavior and interests, but they somehow make it work. they don’t fight often, either, even if they aren’t the same in the slightest. the one thing they have in common is how much they adore the other’s existence.
two best gal friends. -- like a troublesome trio. the three are always seen with at least one another. you can call them charlie’s angels, destiny’s child, or phoebe, rachel, and monica from friends. something that resembles the friendships of the bold type and someone great.
now we got bad blood. -- taline doesn’t have many enemies, but there is always someone out there in the world that will get on her nerves. this person makes her want to gouge her eyes out with a fork. right off the bat, these two bumped heads, arguing about petty things like favorite tv shows and favorite foods. perhaps it’s because they’re both natural born leaders and can’t seem to reach an agreement, or perhaps it’s because they remind each other a little too much of themselves. either way, nobody understands their dislike of one another.
the art of intimacy. -- she has never been one to indulge in senseless intimacy. actions where touches were detached from feelings. it’s not her -- that’s not taline. but sometimes, the feelings of fingertips on her skin, and the taste of lips, mixed with the rich moans and pleas for more, drives her to break her own rules. she can study them. learn notes about the way of intimacy and sex when you remove the feelings. true, she’s terrible at removing that and she proves time and time again that she can’t separate lust and love. maybe it wont end in disaster? maybe it’ll provide just the right muse.
almost lover. -- they probably had a thing at one point and she got too attached, they broke her heart, and she just can’t let it go.
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what’re your top two favorite cats of each clan (excluding your own), as of right now? :3c
how could you……………….make me pick…………………… ((cracks my knuckles))
Keep in mind that my favorites change with the tide, these are just the cats I’m especially vibing with atm! For the sake of Everyone’s dashboard, I’m putting my answers under a Read More,
NettleClan:
Squirrelwhisker! I am absolutely biased because I have Daisytooth, his brother, but I never fail to have a lot of fun rping with Squirrelwhisker! I’m always laughing my ass off with him because he gives me an excuse to do the absolute most ridiculous things using Daisytooth, but that’s not the only reason! I feel like he’s a really consistent character, and despite how he tends to have thoughts of heroism and idealism when it comes to presenting himself, he feels grounded and realistic! He’s just a good guy who’s trying to make the best of the hands dealt to him/his family/his Clan.
And Badgerstep! I really do have a soft spot for boys that are just…. good. Badgerstep has always been a sweet man with a big heart and lots of love to share, I feel like he should really be a good role model for the young cats of NettleClan! He’s been going through really tough times recently, but he lets his friends and family help him. He’s always been a feel-good character for me, even from the beginning of FogClan!
CreekClan:
ohhh man this was hard to narrow down to just two… I’ll go with
Currentstar! At least from what I’ve seen of ThreeClan’s leaders since I’ve joined, this mans provides a fresh new perspective and feel to the role! Though I love lenient leaders, modern leaders, it’s super interesting to see a cat who is clinging hard to old traditions that he grew up abiding by– especially in such tumultuous times as the generations of the Clans that are growing after The Great Journey. When tradition has never been more challenged and questioned, he’s trying his best to find a sense of normalcy. But all the while, he’s a very sympathetic character who has been thrust into leadership very quickly and struggled to settle down and feel right in his own skin. He’s developed a lot so far, it shows that he’s getting more confident in himself with a few bumps in the road, but I respect him immensely! I also have a crush on him
Aaaaand Carpfang! I’ll be honest, i NEVER expected to enjoy Carpfang near as much as I do now. Rough and cold characters are really not my favorite type by far, and I tend to get frustrated with them and their attitudes, but Carpfang has always been so much more than that. She’s hard on the outside, but she has true depth to her character beyond her reputation (and Marigoldpaw ((who is my third favorite)) has done amazing at helping her develop!). She’s not incapable of having trusting and intimate relationships, even if it takes a minute to get through to her, she has really realistic (imo) motives for feeling and acting the way she does, given her family history… She’s real, she’s relatable, she’s well-meaning for much of what matters, and she’s a real bad ass. I love a gal
JaggedClan:
MANTISSTAR MANTISSTAR MANTISSTAR MANTISSTAR MANTISSTAR!!!! She is my WIFE, my LOVE. I really don’t think that I’ve met another character who embodies literally all of my weaknesses, everything that I personally love to see in an OC. Mantisstar comes from a more than troubled origin, where she’d been coerced into an ugly side of history, a victim of circumstance but one who knew that being a victim didn’t excuse her from a certain responsibility of wrongdoing. She rose above the sum of her parts, helped to make right what bad things had been done despite her, a hero from humble origins– and from that, she developed this heroic complex, a NEED to do right, terrified of hurting others despite her intentions. It’s so interesting to see her struggle with making the right choices when things are never so perfectly black and white, even if it breaks my heart when she finds herself getting lost. She is a genuinely good person, she’s wise and kind- forgiving, but just. But she isn’t untouchable. She’s so tangible and real, she reminds me of real people that I’ve idolized in my own life, and I LOVE her. Not only is she my favorite JaggedClan cat, but she is my favorite ThreeClans character!
Then there’s Magpiestorm. Honestly, I feel a Bit similar to her as I do about Carpfang. Though Magpiestorm is arguably more antagonistic and… unstable? than Carpfang is, she’s a whole different take on the hardass girl with troubled family and trust issues, and I honestly took a long while to warm up to her. Again, like I need to feel about all of my favorite characters, she feels developed and truer than just the tropes she happens to fit into. She’s really complex! Though she puts up these barbed wire laden walls all around her, feels obligated to no one but her sister, she has this clear struggle with an innate need for connection. She doesn’t enjoy the way that she acts, she wants to be able to do more, be better, but stubbornness and pride keeps her from letting go of her demons. For a little while she might begin to let those walls down, she might begin to seek out other cats and let other cats in closer to her, but then something will happen that pushes her right back into her own headspace in a cyclical internal struggle… It leaves me guessing, leaves me wanting more, makes me want to see which path she finally makes a commitment to!
FogClan:
By all means, Duskfang. I am so happy that the OC who shares my name is THIS FUCKING GOOD. Duskfang is probably one of the most complex and meticulously developed characters that I’ve had the pleasure of seeing from their conception to their present. She had this ambiguous, mysterious origin that has been perfectly pieced together over time, not near so much from OOC talk, but through revelation and parallels set up almost Too perfectly for her in the ongoing plot line. She, herself, started off mysterious and ambiguous– which, I’ll be honest, turned me off at first. I was expecting an almost… stereotypical secondary-antagonist role to come out of the Fang and Flicker duo, but we got so much more than that. Duskfang has struggled and struggled hard in every aspect of her existence since she’s joined FogClan. She’s had dilemmas and choices that no other cat could hardly dream of having to face, and she has made some very horrible decisions along the way… and I’ve never felt more sympathetic for someone else who’s done the equivalent of what she has? Because I’ve never been able to see exactly what a character is thinking, and exactly why they’re having the thoughts that they are, and how they could be made to feel such raw and powerful emotion that has been brewing and bubbling since the very first day they were ever written. Duskfang’s entire character just feels perfectly planned and perfectly executed, and I couldn’t have ever expected to get what she gives us!
Another popular choice, I’m sure- but Foxflame! Another biased choice? Perhaps! Bramblefang loves him, so I’m just obligated to feel the same…. No, but really, Foxflame is another character that has given me a very pleasant surprise! I’ll be honest, he had my attention from the get-go because bubbly characters really are my guilty pleasure… I would have been satisfied if he just stayed a bubbly guy, a sweet person. No, but then we had to be introduced to the reasons Why they try so hard to make others smile, to make others happy. We had to get into the nitty gritty, his fears, his shortcomings, a need to protect his loved ones even at his own sacrifice. They can definitely be a bit of an airhead, too caught up in the strings of their own heart to listen to their head when they might need to, but that just makes them who they are! They’ve made some really questionable calls for the sake of their heart- he’s gone through the motions of a well-rounded character with beyond two dimensional motivations, and it’s always a pleasure to see him written in the good and bad moments!
Tribe of Twisted Tunnels:
Hehe these might be some interesting answers, if I can talk without giving too much away…. I’m gonna start off with: Aspen Snow. Man, tough girls really have been more my type than I was ever prepared to admit, but I’m not ashamed of it! I’m NOT! I’ve always watched Aspen Snow with a healthy intrigue from afar from when she was a to-be, but it wasn’t until the Tribe’s suffering was coming to a close that she really began to catch my attention. She was a scrappy to-be, full of spunk and a very, very unhealthy dose of youthful hubris. She was fun to read! But after her brother left the Tribe with Raven, it started off an arc that I really wasn’t prepared to see her through- in a good way! The pure hurt that she felt caught me by surprise. I wasn’t prepared to see just how much losing her brother, feeling betrayed by him, abandoned, would break her down. Nor was I expecting the way in which she pieced herself right back together, with fangs and claws and all. She grew bitter, became resentful of not only her brother, but much of the Tribe, its leaders. She needed others to blame, and she clung hard onto that. But then, with Spark Feather’s companionship, she began to ground herself more again. She coped better, she moved on for the sake of herself and others’ betterment instead of just pure spite…. And now? Ohoh. Now. There’s a lot going on with her now, like a relapse into those horrible moons passed, and I’m as scared as I am excited to see where it leads her! And now, the reason that this might be an interesting answer to insiders– Patched Petal. I am going to be straight up, at the same moment that she occupies my top two favorite’s spot, I resent her in her entirety. I am mad at Patched Petal. I am hurt by her and indignant completely on Aspen Snow’s behalf for what Patched Petal has done and is doing to her, things that she’s said to and felt about her own daughter. I resent her, but I’ll be damned if I’m not enraptured by it. Patched Petal has always been a difficult character for me to place– she’s never been very pleasant, but she’s also not been entirely disagreeable- before now. She was a stubborn mother with a fire in her heart that could only be tamed by her children, and after losing her son? It was all downhill from there. I feel like she has made every wrong decision that she could have made in regards to her remaining daughter, after Maple/Flickerclaw left. She’s closed herself away from Aspen Snow, she’s pined for her son to the point of ignoring her daughter, and she’s grown more and more resentful because Aspen Snow has decided that she doesn’t want to wait up for her any more. And now, her most recent development? I could strangle the woman, but it’s such an engrossing conflict that I can’t take my eyes off of this trainwreck…. Patched Petal, you are Something Else. And thus concludes my 2 top favorite cats in each group! My fingers hurt!
@squirrelwhiskr @nicks-cats @currentfangs @crowfalled @swanface @cinderstar @boulderstep
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Unorganised thoughts on Silver Snow:
When I finished Golden Deer, I said that it had felt like a more traditional Fire Emblem story than Blue Lions. Silver Snow is that but even more so (though GD is still the most trad-FE cast, IMO)
Having already played those two routes, it felt very much like a whirlwind tour of them both, plus another battle thrown in at the end - a battle that probably should have been harder, but I (completely accidentally) built the bulkiest Byleth imaginable, especially resistance wise, plus high magic - and so, by pairing high defensive stats with Nosferatu, I tanked every attack that came my way
Gaming, for me, is just doing whatever the hell I feel like, stumbling into good results, and then pretending that I did it on purpose
I spent the whole battle with the Dragon Tales theme song stuck in my head. Kind of killed the mood
I really enjoyed that after wrapping up both the Edelgard and TWSITD plots, they basically Persona 4 you by trying to convince you that the whole game’s done now and all that’s left is to chat with everyone - though unlike in P4, there’s very obviously something left to do because they give you a whole month of prep time, rather than just one day
I felt the same way about this on Golden Deer - none of the characters are appropriately shocked by Rhea’s highly questionable actions
Also - she says she’s going to explain the whole truth! And she doesn’t! Only the Byleth creation stuff! The other revelations from Golden Deer are missing! Rhea! Why! Are! You! Like! This!
This is actually a problem I have with this game as a whole - they want to keep certain lore and secrets exclusive to certain routes, but it results in every story feeling in some way incomplete. Like, Fates gets a lot of crap, but at least you did get a full story from your half (third? never played Revelation) a game for the price of a whole one. Blue Lions gets the worst of it, I think
Plus, when you know some of said secrets, it makes characters who refuse to share them in other routes seem weirdly (and sometimes, contrivedly) cagey about things they really do not need to be cagey about. See: Claude refusing to tell Dimitri and Byleth in Azure Moon that he wants to End Racism, and instead vagueing about ‘achieving his dream’. This is not Edelgard wanting to conquer Fodlan and dismantle the entire social structure, Claude, your ideals really are not so controversial that you need to be this coy. Dimitri and I are cool, we getcha
My one sentence review of the whole game is basically: Great characters, great world building, great gameplay - but really, really frustrating plot structure
I’m also really upset that Seteth does not have a dragon form
Speaking of Seteth, I married him this time around. I mostly decided to do it for laughs, but while Byleth/Dedue is still my number one Byleth pairing, I came to really, genuinely like them together. Seteth is one of my favs, now more than ever
It helps that romancing Seteth feels a lot less... creepy than romancing most of the students. I like Linhardt, but romancing him felt very weird to me because I couldn’t get over Byleth having first known him as a 16 year old under their care. Dedue, for the record, doesn’t elicit this response because he doesn’t really feel as much like a student to me? Role-wise he feels a lot closer to the knights, and it’s just that he's been enrolled as a student for convenience’s sake, which makes him and Byleth feel more equal than they do with most of the other kids. Helps that he’s also on the older end
Anyway, Seteth and Byleth would be the nerdiest couple ever, is the impression I got from their ending. The confession scene made me laugh in how ‘oh we’ve got a lot of work to do - btw wanna get married? - sweet, now let’s get back to work’ it was. Mark Whitten is a gem
It’s also the the first time I felt like the game was actually shipping me with a main lord (Seteth taking that role in the absence of the box lords on this route). Haven’t done Crimson Flower yet, so no opinion on the Edelgard/Byleth relationship yet, but regarding Claude and Dimitri my (pretty damn controversial, possibly a bad idea to put out there) opinions on them with Byleth are that
Claude and Byleth are platonic bros, regardless of Byleth’s gender. I just don’t get any feeling of romance from their relationship at all, and so pairing them off feels weird (to me, personally - I don’t hate the ship or anything, though)
Meanwhile Dimitri 100% had a crush on his teacher at school, but after more than five years of enduring trauma after trauma, and then half a year of beginning to heal (whilst fighting a war culminating in the execution of his step-sister), Dimitri is nowhere near ready for a romantic relationship. And when he is, I wouldn’t want him with any of the main cast, Dimitri x Village Girl OTP. I guess if it has to be anyone, I’d be okay with Mercedes, maybe Marianne - hell, maybe even Claude - but really, I just want him to get a fresh start. I think that’s the healthiest option for him, in the end
I do think it’s a pairing that could work in an AU where Dimitri doesn’t have any of the experiences he has in canon, though
And again, this is just my personal reading
I’ll also admit that I may be influenced by the fact that his two most popular pairings are with Byleth and Dedue, who I greatly prefer with each other. Mostly because I love Dedue with all my soul and his ending with Byleth is by far his happiest, in my eyes at least. It’s the only one where he puts some distance between himself and Dimitri and evens out the power balance in their relationship, which makes me happy because oh boy, the Dimitri/Dedue relationship is super interesting and compelling, but also (again, by my reading) all kinds of unhealthy as it’s presented for most of the game - power balance issues like I say, the fact that they tend to indulge, even encourage, each other’s worst instincts and behaviours, mutual guilt complexes - like I say, it’s fascinating, but damn screwed up. IMO, they’re one of the best examples I’ve seen of how unhealthy relationships aren’t always the result of one bad person, and how two good people can end up being very bad for each other
Though it is, again, a pairing I can see working (and actually being incredibly cute) in an AU where they’ve lived less horrible lives
And it’s not like I don’t want them to be friends, I just want them to also develop healthier boundaries and equal levels of respect
oh my god none of this has anything to do with silver snow what am I doing
But hey, speaking of Dimitri - I flip flopped on whether I thought his death was handled better or worse here than Golden Deer. It was given, I felt, more appropriate gravitas, but again suffered from ‘Dimitri’s dead! No, Dimitri’s alive! Oh wait, now he’s dead again’ in like, three successive scenes. And then you see his... ghost? I guess?
Dimitri really seems to get the short end of the stick on routes outside his own. Claude’s non-Deer roles were, in both cases I’ve played, much stronger and more fitting, and Edelgard is Edelgard
Maybe he’ll be good in Crimson Flower. Please. I miss Dimitri mattering. He’s probably my favourite of the three
There’s a point - obviously I don’t fully know Edelgard yet, but from what I got from the White Clouds section, above anything else she strikes me as an incredibly realistic depiction of a slightly edgy, extremely idealistic, but also highly naive and short-sighted teenager
Her whole goal, it seems, is meritocracy. She hates the crest system and the nobility, and she wants to create a system of equal opportunity. I can get behind that, but I really hope she’s prepared to accept the fact that true equal opportunity is basically impossible without recreating The Giver, as inequality is always more complex than one single factor being to blame for everything. Has Edelgard considered other limitations that make true meritocracy difficult to achieve? Has she been working on, say, a comprehensive benefits system? Or is she more of a libertarian type, and so primarily all about negative freedom and removing direct oppression? I hope Crimson Flower goes into detail on this, I’d be genuinely interested to know
I also find it interesting that she gets very angry about the fact that people hurt her and her family as a means to their own ends, so she decides that her own ends are to eliminate the system that lead to that happening - and she doesn’t care who she has to hurt in the process
This isn’t a CinemaSins *ding* plot hole observation, I genuinely think it’s interesting, and not actually that unrealistic
I also suppose her goal is no less naive than End All Racism By Being Nice To People, but Claude isn’t killing and persecuting people in attempt to achieve that, so it invites less scrutiny
I do wonder if I would have felt more strongly positively about her if she’d been my first playthrough. I do believe she’s a person that sincerely means well, and she’s certainly sympathetic, but - hmm. I’ll make my mind up when I finish CF
Anyway, paired endings. A few that I got include Raphael and Bernadetta (by far my favourite Bernie ending so far, seriously, what is that Caspar ending), Shamir and Leonie, which was cute and goofy (as Leonie’s endings tend to be, I notice, I do like that girl), Felix and Dorothea (not my favourite for either, but cute), Sylvain and Mercedes (the same but even cuter), Cyril and Petra (which felt wrong, partly because I love Cysithea a hell of a lot, and also because despite knowing there’s only about a year between them, Petra looks so much older pre-time skip), Ferdie and Marianne (super wholesome and sweet), and Linhardt and Caspar (my boyyyyssss that I refuse to ever separate again)
Not sure what I’m going to aim for on CF aside from keeping those boys together and also Ferdie/Hubert, as I’ve Heard Things
Flayn and Manuela have an A support so I figured they had a paired ending and it turns out they do not, which means Manuela was alone forever and Flayn ran away because apparently she hated having Byleth for a step mother I guess, rude
My Byleth (Myleth?) was prepared to be the best step mother in the history of the world, so offended
I realised ‘Javelins of Light’ is one of my absolute favourite tracks in the whole game. Mostly because it sounds like something out of Danganronpa, which made me nostalgic
I also like ‘Guardian of Starlight’ for somehow managing to sound like a Danganronpa/PMD: Explorers crossover track
I love how out of nowhere the Immaculate One fight is. It really does just feel like they needed something to distinguish the route from Verdant Wind outside of Claude not being around, so they just had a map that was less cool in every way except for the dragon
Is there an explanation for why Nemesis doesn’t show up on this route?
Also - I didn’t mention this in Golden Deer thoughts but I also found that final battle way, way easier than it was probably meant to be because I’d made everyone into a flier and so the floor damage hazard was meaningless
Which I totally did on purpose and not so I could make a stupid joke post about my all-wyvern team
Anyway, in conclusion, Silver Snow was a good route, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would (I’d kind of thought it was just going to be GD without Claude, which isn’t... totally wrong, but it’s got some other stuff going on too), I liked Seteth getting to have a bigger role, I thought it had the best final boss (if not the best final boss map), and I liked that I got some more Dragon Lore (never a bad thing)
please don’t yell at me for my controversial shipping opinions
#fire emblem#fe3h#silver snow#silver snow spoilers#golden deer spoilers#verdant wind spoilers#blue lions spoilers#azure moon spoilers#long post
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in every iteration
I forgot to post this here!! But here’s an immortality/reincarnation AU! Possibly to be continued later?
They never remember, Keishin had warned him so many centuries ago. As much as you want to hope that your love will transcend the limits of mortality, it never will.
I know, Daichi had said, but he hadn’t really known. Not yet.
The first time was an open wound right above his still-beating heart, the pain so acute and bloody that the next twenty-nine years before he could meet his beloved again dragged on jagged and endless. The harvests from the first decade after losing him were spare and sickly. Daichi feels bad about it now, but he’d never been truly despondent until then. Not even Koutarou or Shouyou had been able to raise his spirits.
The second time was even harder. It took three years for Daichi to woo his beloved - this time, a stocky woman working in the stables of her village instead of the young blacksmith that Daichi had fallen for faster than the reddened leaves of a maple in November. Three years in her company, then three years her companion, and then she was gone before the last frost had lifted, along with half her village as the illness spread.
It took a quarter of a century to find her this time, reborn halfway across the world as the best sharpshooter in his village. Daichi dressed the leaves in ruby and flame, and brought with him harvest after bountiful harvest of golden corn and jeweled squash. They kissed for the first time beneath the bone-bare trees and the half-filled moon. They were happy. They made a life together.
But as the years passed, Shigeru and Kentarou began yet another sky-shaking argument, and when the rain meets the surge of the river, there’s nothing mortals can do but try to survive the resulting floods. Daichi’s beloved lost his life while carrying a child to safety, and for the better part of a decade, Daichi spoke to neither of his now-contrite siblings until the storm in his heart could subside, and he could feel his beloved’s soul return to the living plane once again.
The ninth time, he was a court scholar in the confidence of an emperor, and Daichi had to use all his godly tricks to create the chance to get close to him. The twelfth time, Daichi found him on the warm sands of a tiny island, the call of the ocean in his blood. But it had been too long; Daichi could feel the strain of half a century wearing on his darling, and as expected, he passed soon after their long-overdue meeting. The fifteenth time, she was a weaver under the apprenticeship of a master in her beautiful seaside town.
That life, Daichi had time on his side. They met young, and she was healthy and lived well. They should have had years together.
And then she was gone, because if there’s anything mortals know as well as they know love, it’s war.
So it would go, over and over again. Death, rebirth, the tireless search, and the heartbreak when, yet again, they would look upon Daichi with no recognition in their eyes. Every single time. Daichi would know that dedication, that cleverness, that loyalty and humor and gratitude and impossible grace, no matter the body they inhabit. But even if he remains completely constant, in both appearance and temperament, no human memory can carry his love across lifetimes.
By now, Daichi finally understands.
Keishin had tried to tell him, that even more than the pain of losing them stings the pain of knowing they have forgotten every shared moment, every secret told, every precious kiss. But every piece of suffering is worth it, for the moment that Daichi realizes, yet again, that his darling, the other half of his heart, loves him.
There will never be anyone else. And so it continues.
--
He buries her on a Thursday. Koushi has left his clouds behind to take his favored human form, and he stands close to offer comfort the best he can as Daichi receives the condolences of the other mourners. The sky is gray but clear, as it so often is in this country, and after the rest of the funeral procession has dispersed, he crouches to pat flat the dirt himself, feeling the lifeforce of every plant in the vicinity react to his touch. Overhead, the sun isn’t visible, but he can feel Shouyou’s power coursing through him anyway, the sympathy soaking into his skin.
“Why don’t you come home for a little while?” Koushi asks gently after a moment of silence. He helps Daichi back to his feet, and traces the wrinkles that have set into Daichi’s face after the last sixty or so years. “You’ve been living among humans for so long now, it might be good for you to let go of all this until it’s time to meet again.”
Daichi takes a last look at the cemetery, the stretch of gravestones along the grass, and feels a deep, inhuman tiredness sink into his bones. Koushi is right. He’s been playing mortal for too long. It’s time to return home.
He bends down to leave a final kiss on his spouse’s gravestone before he stands straight and takes Koushi’s hand. The wind thickens, whistling through the cemetery trees as their mortal forms dissolve. When the breeze fades, there’s no sign of them left behind, save for Daichi’s current name etched into marble alongside his beloved’s.
--
For the next couple of decades, Daichi remains earthbound. He travels around the world, trailing autumn with every step, and when he’s off season, he spends time with his siblings. There’s years and years of news and gossip to catch up on, and even more reminiscing to be done. He walks along crowded beaches with Tooru, and soaks up the moonlight under the star threaded sky with Kei and Keiji. He visits the mountaintops with Shinsuke, and the cliffsides with Aran. Daichi walks through his brother’s rolling fields, laughing when Wakatoshi frowns as he blooms a patch of his flowers too early. He sits high up in the trees next to Asahi as they watch the wildfires eat through another acre of dying forest. He drinks in the sensation of Kiyoko’s snow swirling into flurries around him, and he revels in the sound of Takanobu’s crystalline hail shattering against the frozen pane of ice on one of Kaname’s lakes.
It’s a time for healing, and reconnection. And he enjoys it, he really does, but one day he wakes, and he can feel it again. The call of his beloved’s soul.
He’s realized by now that it takes at least a decade after his beloved’s reincarnation before he can sense their soul again, and then usually several years before he can locate them among the ever growing number of people on the planet. On the rare occasions that he finds them before they’ve matured, he returns to the earth until some years on, when they’re adult enough to be making their own life decisions.
There are some lifetimes that his beloved does not choose him, or has already found someone else to share their heart with, and in those cases, Daichi goes graciously on his way, knowing that there’ll be time again for them to find one another.
It’s been past twenty years since his spouse passed on, and Daichi thinks it might be time to go searching again.
He’s told his sweetheart the secret of his identity exactly twice. It’s not so easy for mortals to believe in gods that walk among them anymore, and even harder to believe that they could share a love so enduring that they would return to one another time and again, so he keeps the truth hidden away. It’s difficult sometimes, to know more about his partner than they know about him, but each lifetime is different, and in the end, there’s always more to learn. Every lifetime is special; every lifetime is treasured.
This time, Daichi has a good feeling about his search. He decides to head out, putting himself in his early twenties to hopefully match his beloved’s approximate age once they meet.
Koutarou catches Daichi before he insinuates himself back into mortal life, tackling him to the ground in excitement.
“Hey, I wanna come along too! It’s been a while since I’ve hung out with humans, and this decade seems pretty fun.” He smiles down at Daichi, and Daichi can feel the crackle of electricity that runs constant in his veins.
“You want to tag along?”
“Yeah, we can say we’re brothers or something! You can show me all the awesome sports mortals play, and I can finally try cold cream!”
“Ice cream, Kou. It’s called ice cream,” Daichi says fondly. “And sure, you can come with, but we better pretend we’re just friends, so it’ll be easier to explain in case you decide you’ve had enough and run off again. I don’t like messing around with their memories if I don’t have to.”
“Alright, that works. Can we go to Japan first? I heard there were lots of great games there!”
“There’s video games everywhere, you know,” Daichi says, but he decides to just go with the flow. He has to start somewhere.
--
Koutarou loves Japan, though Daichi is fairly certain he loves every place he’s ever taken the time to visit. Given his nature, most of what he sees comes in quickfire flashes, and though he touches down on certain regions much more often than others, it’s rarely long enough to get a feel for mortal life there.
They settle into life in Tokyo, living in a small apartment together near a university that Koutarou decides he wants to try attending. Daichi thinks he’ll get sick of it soon enough, but gets them both enrolled anyway, hoping it’ll help bring him closer to his beloved.
He feels the pull of their soul so strongly that he thinks he must have lucked out and accidentally chose the correct country at the very outset. He should really thank Koutarou for the help if it turns out to be true. It’s been four months since they’ve begun their life in Tokyo, and Daichi still hasn’t made much progress yet, but he also feels so close that it doesn’t bother him. He’s waited much, much longer than this.
Koushi is visiting for a short time, and he and Kou exhausted themselves on karaoke last night, so Daichi sets out early this morning to get some food for them from the nearby konbini before they wake up. They’re not as used to their human forms as Daichi is, and sometimes they surpass the natural limits of their bodies, so out of pity, Daichi will play room service today.
He’s so busy grabbing handfuls of snacks and every kind of onigiri on the shelves that he doesn’t notice the surge in his connection to his beloved until he’s already paid and out the door. His bag is almost overladen with junk food, and he takes a moment to adjust the handles so he doesn’t drop anything, which is when someone comes stumbling right into him.
The impact isn’t very hard, but Daichi finds his chest suddenly wet with what smells like coffee, and then there’s someone else’s face right in front of his, looking embarrassed and apologetic.
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize the cap wasn’t on all the way,” says the love of Daichi’s life when they meet for the thirty-second first time.
Daichi is covered in vending machine iced coffee, and his sweater is a size too big, because he forgot how he looks at the crisp age of twenty-two, and he’s probably making the stupidest face because his beloved has the same smile he did about nine centuries ago, but none of this matters because they’re together again, in the same time and place, and his suddenly too-human heart has forgotten how to beat.
“God, I’m not usually such a klutz, I swear. Here, let me help you,” Daichi’s sweetheart says, pulling a whole wad of napkins out of his convenience store bag and walking forward to begin dabbing at Daichi’s sweater.
“Oh,” Daichi says a beat too late, as the other man tries to mop the coffee off him. “Wait, it’s okay, I can take care of that later.”
“No, man, it’s completely my fault. At least let me pay for the cleaning fees.” He’s so earnest and responsible that it makes Daichi’s chest ache. Some things never change.
“No, it’s seriously fine. I’m just going to put it in the wash. But your coffee- it’s half gone now. I’ll buy you another one.”
“What? No, I’m the one who spilled on you! I’m not making you pay for anything.”
“Okay, well, let’s just call it even then,” Daichi suggests, trying not to be obvious about studying everything about him. Bright, knowing eyes, ridiculous hair, and a good ten centimeters taller than Daichi. Daichi would have loved him regardless of what he looked like, but he definitely can’t complain about this incarnation’s appearance.
“If you’re sure,” he says dubiously. “I still feel bad, though.”
Perhaps this is moving too quickly, but it’s a new generation, much different from when Daichi last dated anyone, so he decides he’s going to take a page from their book and just go for it. “Look, if you really want to make it up for me, I guess you can buy me a coffee when you get yourself another one?” Daichi says, hoping it doesn’t come across as too forward.
But his beloved’s expression brightens, and he gives a little grin, asking, “Really? Yeah, I could do that! Right now?” He gestures toward the vending machine behind him, looking so sweetly excited that Daichi already falls half in love with him even though it’s only been about five minutes.
“Sure,” Daichi laughs.
They walk back toward the vending machine, and his beloved stuffs his damp napkin ball back in his bag. “I’m Kuroo Tetsurou. Y’know, in case you wanted to call me something instead of ‘clumsy loser’ in your head.” He grins kind of sheepishly, then fumbles some change out of his wallet, hastily saying, “Or not. Feel free to forget that. And me.”
Daichi fights the urge to bury his face in his hands. His beloved is already so cute, he can’t stand it. As if he could ever forget that name now.
“Sawamura Daichi,” he finally says, letting a hint of his smile show as he sticks his hand out. “If you wanted to call me by my name. Because it is. My name, I mean. Yeah.” Fuck, this is a disaster. Why hasn’t a millenium of experience made Daichi any better at flirting?
“It sure is, dude,” Kuroo says as he gives Daichi a firm handshake. “So, coffee? Um, do you like hot or cold?”
“Hot for me, please.”
Kuroo buys them their drinks, and then they stand there together outside the konbini, sipping at their coffees while stealing glances at each other.
“So!” Kuroo finally says after a moment. “Do you go to uni nearby? I’ve never seen you around, but you look like a college student.”
“Yeah, I was living abroad for two years, so I only just started this year,” Daichi says, happy to have some point of conversation, and then they’re discussing schools and classes easily, like any two college kids might. Daichi feels so rusty at this, but he also feels completely at ease with Kuroo, especially when their conversation segues naturally into other topics, like clubs and hobbies and their lives. Daichi talks about Koutarou and Koushi, and his other siblings in vague terms, and learns that Kuroo is an only child this time around, but he grew up alongside a best friend whose parents are basically a second family to him. He played volleyball in high school, and he loves chemistry and biology, and when he graduates he’ll be attending medical school.
Daichi takes all this in, fitting in the new pieces with the familiar ones, knowing that he can already see himself living a full life alongside Tetsurou if he’ll allow it.
Their chit-chat comes to a natural lull, and Kuroo takes a second to look at Daichi’s face before he flushes slightly and scratches at his nest of hair, looking kind of nervous.
“Hey, I know this sounds completely crazy, but I feel like there’s something kind of familiar about you, if that makes sense. Like we’ve met before, even though I know I would’ve remembered you. Sorry- I’m just being weird,” he says with a laugh, when he notices Daichi staring.
“No,” Daichi chokes out. This has never happened before. Thirty times he’s gone through this, and never has his beloved shown any sign of recognition, until now. Is it a fluke? Is Kuroo just confused? Has something changed? “I- I, um, I totally understand what you mean. It feels like we could’ve already known each other? Maybe?” he stutters, and Kuroo nods.
“Yeah, like in another life or something,” he says thoughtfully, and Daichi just nods numbly back.
A sudden vibration on Daichi’s leg knocks him out of his daze, and he pulls out his cell phone to see that he’s been sent several whiny texts from the loafers back at his apartment who are wondering where their snacks are.
“Oh, I interrupted your snack run, didn’t I?”
“They can handle a few more minutes without food.”
“Yeah, but I should let you go; I’ve wasted enough of your time today already.”
Daichi nods, because he’s used to this taking time, and he’ll wait forever for Kuroo if he has to. “Thanks for the free coffee,” he says, lifting his can. “And...the free coffee.” He gestures at his shirt, and Kuroo gives him the dumbest, cutest laugh in response.
“You’re welcome for one of those things. Um, this is gonna sound so pushy, but.” And he pauses, ducking his head before looking back at Daichi. “I really feel like maybe we were meant to meet today? Ugh, that’s so cheesy- but- I guess I’m trying to say that it’d be cool if you wanted to hang out again sometime. Preferably without either of us throwing liquids at each other.”
Even if he weren’t already inextricably tied to Kuroo, those eyes would have won him over, Daichi is certain. As it is, his heart is in his throat at the thought of Kuroo somehow remembering one of their past lives together.
“That sounds great,” Daichi says, almost tripping over his words like he’s a teenager being asked on his first date, even though he’s the farthest thing from it. “I’d like that.”
Kuroo holds out his hand, and Daichi, confused, takes hold of it. Maybe casual handholding is what young people do now. It’s nice, to be able to feel Kuroo’s skin against his. It’s both new and familiar.
“Oh,” Kuroo says, his face turning pink. “Sorry, I was- I wanted to put my number in your phone. Not that this isn’t nice too.” Daichi blushes as well, snatching his hand away and dropping his cellphone into Kuroo’s waiting palm.
They trade numbers, both of their faces still stinging pink, and then hover awkwardly for a few seconds, unsure of how to proceed.
“So, I’m sorry if the first thing I text you is a horrible picture of my roommate stuffing eighty pocky into his mouth at once,” Daichi blurts out to fill the distance between them, and Kuroo nods blankly back, before giving him a thumbs up.
“I’ll look forward to it. See you around, Sawamura.” He flashes Daichi a smile, the one he’s come to love time and time again, and Daichi lifts his hand to say goodbye.
“ ‘til next time.” Kuroo jogs off, but glances back once, perhaps just to see if Daichi is still there, and he gives a little wave. Daichi watches him go, until he’s gone from sight, and then he collapses against the wall of the store, looking up to the sky for answers in the clouds.
Kuroo Tetsurou. Daichi’s true love, here again. Reunited again, maybe in more ways than Daichi could have ever expected.
A soft breeze brushes around him, and Daichi takes it as Koushi’s reminder to get back to the apartment, so he hurries home with their food, even though the only thing on his mind is when he’s going to next see Kuroo again. It can’t come soon enough.
This is going to be a good lifetime. He’s going to make certain of it.
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Game of Thrones Recap: S8E4 - "The Last of the Starks"
Didn’t we almost have it all? At the moment I’m not sure I’m talking about the episode, this season, or (if you really want to get spicy) the first four seasons of the series, but this show started off SO WELL and then devolved into an unfounded attack on everything I love and believe in. We’re back to split locations this week so let’s get into it, and trust we’ll be discussing that ending.
TW: There is brief discussion about the use of rape as a narrative tactic in the “Winterfell” section.
Winterfell
The episode picks up right where we left off last week as the survivors of the Great War bid farewell to those who paid the ultimate sacrifice for loss. As much as I’ve never seen it for either of them, Daenerys’s sadness over Jorah — her first friend and a man (for all his MANY faults) who was a constant throughout her adult life — and Sansa tearfully placing a Stark pin on Theon’s corpse were touching and earned conclusions of their character journeys. But there’s still no country for slave traders and child murderers so, bye!
Leading the ceremony, Jon puts some bass in his voice, does his best Captain America impression, and delivers the most impassioned and leaderly speech we’ve heard from him yet as he modifies the Night’s Watch farewell to begin lighting the pyres of fallen heroes outside the castle. Ramin Djawadi put his foot all the way in the score on this scene as we see just how much the fight took out of the survivors. All of our main characters are bruised and bloody, poor Ghost lost an ear, and Rhaegal has holes in his wings and is still too weak to fly without a bit of a hook. Everyone needs a drink.
And what an after party it is! Gendry suffers through awkward dinner conversations with his girlfriend’s father (we’ll get there) the Hound while he awaits Arya who’s a no-show at the feast. Daenerys sees him and takes the opportunity to note that he’s the unknown bastard son of a King. For a moment, I thought she was trying to make a point to Jon about the validity or lack thereof about his claim to the throne, but she instead legitimizes Gendry and proclaims him Lord of the Baratheon’s old seat of Storm’s End. By raising up the former blacksmith she not only installs a Lord Paramount of the Stormlands forever loyal to her, creating allies she desperately needs, she also buries another potential claimant against her crown.
For some reason Sansa is confused and disgusted by this and Tyrion clocks it but says nothing. As the drinking continues, Dany realizes how isolated she truly is as she listens to Jon be toasted by Tormund, a Kobe stan during a LeBron James championship parade. Instead of being a proud aunt towards her baby dragon riding nephew, Queen Daenerys sees how little she is loved by the Westorosi, an awakening that began with her witnessing Lord Royce and Theon’s admiration for Sansa earlier this season. Lurking dramatically behind her and observing all of this is, of course, Varys because he stays in the mess.
Ser Brienne, Podrick, and the Lannister brothers are playing Tyrion’s drinking game where they guess facts about each other, which is fun until the lord imp surmises that the newest knight from Tarth is a virgin. Brienne leaves in anger and shame while Jaime follows after her, leaving Tormund to finally realize where he stands as the third wheel, crying to the Hound. After Clegane chases him off into the arms of a willing Northern girl, Sansa and the Hound share their first conversation since season two and the Battle of Blackwater. When he acknowledges that the “little bird” has grown and changed as much as Arya, she tells him that without the horrors she’s had to endure she wouldn’t be the person she is today. There’s been a great deal of frustration with that line, as the notion that rape can be a tool to make a woman stronger, or that she owes her growth to the men in her life, is demonstrably false. I didn’t initially read the scene that way simply because the theme of terrible things and regrets forming people into who they are has been a repeated one this season (with Jaime, Bran, Theon, etc.), but it is a mark of poor and male-centric writing to not recognize the difference between intentional actions the male characters chose themselves and cruelty done to a character against their will that they’ve had to survive. But this wouldn’t be the last time the writers failed to understand context.
Gendry finally finds Arya in the castle working on her archery instead of reveling in the feast (Big Introvert Energy) and tells her that not only is he the son of a King, he’s now a proper lord himself. Kissing her, he gets down on one knee and tells her it doesn’t mean a thing without her by his side and proposes. Maisie Williams sells the scene with just her eyes, as she kisses Gendry back onto his feet, but has to let him down gently that being a lady is just not her. It calls back to what she constantly told Ned in season one, and the realization she had in her reunion with Nymeria last season.
Jaime channels his inner Drake and brings a flagon of wine to Brienne thee Stallion’s room, reminding her that she hasn’t finished the game. Brienne keeps her room nice and hot, so the Kingslayer starts to take off all his clothes, while probing her interest in Tormund. Always one to keep her guard up, Brienne finally realizes what’s about to happen and helps him take his shirt off as she joins him in disrobing and they finally consummate the years-long dance around and to each other’s hearts.
Daenerys and Jon finally have a heart to heart where Rhaegar’s son reiterates that he has no desire for the throne and is pledged to her. She then begs him to not tell anyone else (specifically Sansa and Arya) and to swear Samwell and Bran to secrecy lest the truth of a rival with a stronger claim gets out and threatens her position. So of course, Jon does the opposite and, forcing Sansa and Arya to promise to keep the secret in the family, has Bran divulge that he’s actually Aegon Targaryen. The scene cuts to black before we get to see their reactions to the news, but hold that thought.
With the demise of the Night King (who we’ll have to wait on the books which shall never be written to learn more about) and his army of the dead, Daenerys finally begins drawing up battle plans to take King’s Landing. As is her wont, the Dragon Queen wants ALL of the smoke and is ready to take Cersei out, whatever it takes. Ever the idealistic pacifist, Tyrion urges the long game of a siege to turn the people against her by starving the Lannisters out. Jon, who at this point doesn’t want to be in the middle of any other squabbles, concedes the feasibility of the plan but then in comes the maester of checking people in public, Lady Sansa. She councils a bit of patience on Dany’s part since her troops are dead tired from fighting zombies, one of her dragons is flying with a limp, and she really has no plan other than “I want the throne.” Admittedly, I’ve been #SansaHive for a while now, but the show seems intent on driving this division between the two matriarchs for no other reason than to manufacture tension and rush towards this narrative that Dany is the Mad Queen that has not been justified. Trying to get back in her good graces (or her bed), Jon however pulls rank and reminds the room that the North is pledged to Daenerys and will follow her to whatever end.
Ser Bronn finally arrives in Winterfell and displays the level-headed pragmatism that I’ve said more than once will put him on the Iron Throne. Rather than outright killing the Lannister men as Cersei wanted, he negotiates. While we finally discover the Queen offered him Riverrun and presumably reign of the Riverlands, Tyrion counters with Highgarden and the seat of the Reach. Less out of an affinity for the brothers and more because he’s seen what dragons can do to an army, he accepts the side he thinks is more likely to win, but promises his bill will come due once the war is over. Another thing this episode has done is remind us just how many Great Houses have fallen in Westeros. Daenerys mentions the support of a new, unnamed Prince in Dorne, and Edmure Tully is possibly still alive in a dungeon somewhere or hiding in oblivion with young Robin Arryn, but almost all of the ruling southern houses have been wiped out.
On the road from Winterfell, the Hound is riding south alone until he’s joined by Arya, and it seems they both have unfinished business back in the capital. If they’re pump faking us and we don’t get Cleganebowl, somebody has to square up. For now, the best buddy duo is back on the road again and neither have plans on coming back alive. Sansa, on the other hand, almost immediately tells Tyrion the ONE thing she promised not to and confides Jon’s secret identity. That’s how we know he wasn’t Ned’s son. Eddard managed to take decades of hate from his own wife to protect his nephew, Jon couldn’t even last a damn week.
The goodbyes continue as Tormund finally takes the wildlings back home to the REAL north to settle down and repopulate now that the threat of the White Walkers is gone. The show, choosing to emphasize his embrace of his Targaryen roots (and that he’s probably going to die soon) has Jon send Ghost north of the Wall as well, since a direwolf has no place in the South and would be happier. This is where the disrespect began and we should have seen the okey doke coming. The relationship between Jon and Ghost is one the show has always underplayed but my man would never! He didn’t even give his beloved companion a goodbye hug, simply looking on as Ghost whines for his friend. We also find out Gilly is pregnant with Sam’s baby for real this time, and if it’s a boy they’ll name him Jon. Yeah, he’s definitely going to die.
Hearing what went down at Dragonstone, Jaime, after knocking the sheen off of Brienne’s starry sapphire again for good measure, leaves in the middle of the night bound for King’s Landing. She runs out in her housecoat and slippers begging an ain’t shit man to come back into her life after just 24 hours; men are a curse. Jaime reads through the litany of things he’s done in the name of his love for Cersei and insists he’s not the good man Brienne thinks he is. It seems clear he’s going back to try to stop her this time (and possibly fulfill the prediction of the valonqar), but he doesn’t tell that to his new boo, who very uncharacteristically breaks down in tears.
Dragonstone
With her fleet preparing to invade King’s Landing and take back the throne, Daenerys and crew set sail to her birthplace on Dragonstone. Tyrion couldn’t even wait to make it to shore and immediately tells the news of Jon’s true parentage to the Benita Buttrell of Westeros in Varys, but he ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard it from him. As the ships drop anchor in the port however, Drogon and Rhaegal are attacked by Euron Greyjoy’s suspiciously sneaky Iron Fleet now outfitted with improved Scorpions which catch Rhaegal unaware, killing yet another dragon. Gotta pour one out for the homie as we’re now down to one and I am inconsolable. Daenerys in a rage is tempted to fly Drogon straight on to light them all up, but facing another round of fire is forced to flee. Euron being the trash panda he is then targets the ships themselves, sinking most of them and forcing the Unsullied to swim to shore. A distraught Grey Worm is left to panic as he screams for Missandei, who was not among those who washed up on the beach.
On the verge of losing everything, Daenerys is understandably tired of being checked by her advisors and is finally ready to burn the Red Keep to the ground if she can sit on the ashes. In a private conversation, Tyrion keeps trying to push the obvious solution that Jon and Dany, who are in love as it is, should just get married, solving all their problems. As infuriating as it may be that the simplest answer is the one that will never happen, even he realizes the futility of hoping for logic to win out. Varys stops short of admitting he’s putting a hit out on Dany, but the Spider, going back to his defense of the realm, is obviously ready to move on to a new leader and leaves Tyrion to drink.
King’s Landing
Meanwhile, back in the capital Cersei has been opening the Red Keep to the common folk in an attempt to call Dany’s bluff that she wouldn’t burn the city with so many people inside the castle walls. Congratulating walking STD Euron on his successful mission Cersei tells him she’s carrying his child (as Qyburn confirms), and hides her disgust as Greyjoy is overwhelmed with new daddy glee.
The writers then lose the plot entirely as they cut to Missandei, back in shackles, Cersei’s prisoner as the queen remarks “so much for the breaker of chains.” We’ll get to it soon but it goes without saying that seeing a Black woman, the ONLY Black woman on the show, placed back into bondage when her story arc has been one of rising above her enslavement is reprehensible. That said, this is a show about reprehensible people doing reprehensible things. It hurts no less, but what used to elevate the series was that these actions were grounded in an internal logic and narrative fullness that resonated with character motivation and agency for both sides. This was simply done for shock value, both in-universe for Daenerys and out of it for the viewers.
Outside the Red Keep, the walls of which we see have also been outfitted with Scorpions, the two Hands of the Queen meet to discuss terms, and when it’s clear that Cersei will not be surrendering, Tyrion tries to speak directly to his sister and beg for her better nature to avoid bloodshed, insisting that she’s not a monster. WHAT WOMAN DOES HE THINK HE’S BEEN DEALING WITH FOR ALL THIS TIME? Of course that nonsense doesn’t work and Tyrion’s inability to recognize that villainy is possible even under the guise of white womanhood is what should get him killed. Instead it’s Missandei who is caught in the crosshairs of the 53% as she utters her last words, “Dracarys,” before being beheaded by the Mountain.
My personal affinity for Missandei should be well known, so you can imagine how I reacted to seeing this mess. To clarify, it's not just that she died that was so galling. If you read the episode two review we called that happening, and I’d assume most of you weren’t shocked either, even though it doesn’t hurt any less. It’s the how and why that was so poorly handled that added insult to injury of the pain that's inherent when you have so few people of color in the cast in general, but Black women specifically. Had she had the agency to choose her own end and her death come as the result of her story arc, so be it. This is a show of terrors and loved characters die everyday, B. Had she died in the crypts of Winterfell fighting for her life and the Queen she believed in, and Daenerys and Grey Worm had gotten to mourn her the way they gave tired, rockface Jorah his final respects it would have been better. Had her Dracarys command gotten Drogon to start the roast of the city? We outchea! But for it to be simply the impetus to justify razing King’s Landing, and as a pawn in a war of aggression between two white women while she’s placed back in bondage, was a perfect storm of disrespect, to the character and the audience. We've established for seven seasons that that city is a rathole, filled with people we haven't seen in years. I don't care about Dany burning the castle to the ground, but NOW? I need Thanos to show up because I want nothing left but ashes. For a blog whose motto is MORE Black Girls MORE Dragons, this episode was always going to be particularly painful, but the fact that there was no greater narrative purpose for it makes it even worse.
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(Clarity)
is an act of grace in the cleansing of the heart (inside, Anew)
and we see this truth in words written down and the significance of conserving such in Today’s reading of chapter 3 from the Letter of Romans as shared by Paul:
So what difference does it make who’s a Jew and who isn’t, who has been trained in God’s ways and who hasn’t? As it turns out, it makes a lot of difference—but not the difference so many have assumed.
First, there’s the matter of being put in charge of writing down and caring for God’s revelation, these Holy Scriptures. So, what if, in the course of doing that, some of those Jews abandoned their post? God didn’t abandon them. Do you think their faithlessness cancels out his faithfulness? Not on your life! Depend on it: God keeps his word even when the whole world is lying through its teeth. Scripture says the same:
Your words stand fast and true;
Rejection doesn’t faze you.
But if our wrongdoing only underlines and confirms God’s rightdoing, shouldn’t we be commended for helping out? Since our bad words don’t even make a dent in his good words, isn’t it wrong of God to back us to the wall and hold us to our word? These questions come up. The answer to such questions is no, a most emphatic No! How else would things ever get straightened out if God didn’t do the straightening?
It’s simply perverse to say, “If my lies serve to show off God’s truth all the more gloriously, why blame me? I’m doing God a favor.” Some people are actually trying to put such words in our mouths, claiming that we go around saying, “The more evil we do, the more good God does, so let’s just do it!” That’s pure slander, as I’m sure you’ll agree.
[We’re All in the Same Sinking Boat]
So where does that put us? Do we Jews get a better break than the others? Not really. Basically, all of us, whether insiders or outsiders, start out in identical conditions, which is to say that we all start out as sinners. Scripture leaves no doubt about it:
There’s nobody living right, not even one,
nobody who knows the score, nobody alert for God.
They’ve all taken the wrong turn;
they’ve all wandered down blind alleys.
No one’s living right;
I can’t find a single one.
Their throats are gaping graves,
their tongues slick as mudslides.
Every word they speak is tinged with poison.
They open their mouths and pollute the air.
They race for the honor of sinner-of-the-year,
litter the land with heartbreak and ruin,
Don’t know the first thing about living with others.
They never give God the time of day.
This makes it clear, doesn’t it, that whatever is written in these Scriptures is not what God says about others but to us to whom these Scriptures were addressed in the first place! And it’s clear enough, isn’t it, that we’re sinners, every one of us, in the same sinking boat with everybody else? Our involvement with God’s revelation doesn’t put us right with God. What it does is force us to face our complicity in everyone else’s sin.
[God Has Set Things Right]
But in our time something new has been added. What Moses and the prophets witnessed to all those years has happened. The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.
God sacrificed Jesus on the altar of the world to clear that world of sin. Having faith in him sets us in the clear. God decided on this course of action in full view of the public—to set the world in the clear with himself through the sacrifice of Jesus, finally taking care of the sins he had so patiently endured. This is not only clear, but it’s now—this is current history! God sets things right. He also makes it possible for us to live in his rightness.
So where does that leave our proud Jewish insider claims and counterclaims? Canceled? Yes, canceled. What we’ve learned is this: God does not respond to what we do; we respond to what God does. We’ve finally figured it out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade.
And where does that leave our proud Jewish claim of having a corner on God? Also canceled. God is the God of outsider non-Jews as well as insider Jews. How could it be otherwise since there is only one God? God sets right all who welcome his action and enter into it, both those who follow our religious system and those who have never heard of our religion.
But by shifting our focus from what we do to what God does, don’t we cancel out all our careful keeping of the rules and ways God commanded? Not at all. What happens, in fact, is that by putting that entire way of life in its proper place, we confirm it.
The Letter of Romans, Chapter 3 (The Message)
and paired with this is the closing chapter of Malachi (as well as the closing chapter of the Old Testament) which means that all is fully rewound tomorrow to begin again with the first chapter of the book of Genesis
the 4th chapter of Malachi:
[The Sun of Righteousness Will Dawn]
“Count on it: The day is coming, raging like a forest fire. All the arrogant people who do evil things will be burned up like stove wood, burned to a crisp, nothing left but scorched earth and ash— a black day. But for you, sunrise! The sun of righteousness will dawn on those who honor my name, healing radiating from its wings. You will be bursting with energy, like colts frisky and frolicking. And you’ll tromp on the wicked. They’ll be nothing but ashes under your feet on that Day.” God-of-the-Angel-Armies says so.
“Remember and keep the revelation I gave through my servant Moses, the revelation I commanded at Horeb for all Israel, all the rules and procedures for right living.
“But also look ahead: I’m sending Elijah the prophet to clear the way for the Big Day of God—the decisive Judgment Day! He will convince parents to look after their children and children to look up to their parents. If they refuse, I’ll come and put the land under a curse.”
The Book of Malachi, Chapter 4 (The Message)
to be concluded with wisdom from Today’s chapter of the book of Proverbs for the 27th of january, here & now in 2020:
Never brag about the plans you have for tomorrow,
for you don’t have a clue what tomorrow may bring to you.
Let someone else honor you for your accomplishments,
for self-praise is never appropriate.
It’s easier to carry a heavy boulder and a ton of sand
than to be provoked by a fool and have to carry that burden!
The rage and anger of others can be overwhelming,
but it’s nothing compared to jealousy’s fire.
It’s better to be corrected openly
if it stems from hidden love.
You can trust a friend who wounds you with his honesty,
but your enemy’s pretended flattery comes from insincerity.
When your soul is full, you turn down even the sweetest honey.
But when your soul is starving,
every bitter thing becomes sweet.
Like a bird that has fallen from its nest
is the one who is dislodged from his home.
Sweet friendships refresh the soul and awaken our hearts with joy,
for good friends are like the anointing oil
that yields the fragrant incense of God’s presence.
So never give up on a friend or abandon a friend of your father—
for in the day of your brokenness
you won’t have to run to a relative for help.
A friend nearby is better than a relative far away.
My son, when you walk in wisdom,
my heart is filled with gladness,
for the way you live is proof
that I’ve not taught you in vain.
A wise, shrewd person discerns the danger ahead
and prepares himself,
but the naïve simpleton never looks ahead
and suffers the consequences.
Cosign for one you barely know and you will pay a great price!
Anyone stupid enough to guarantee the loan of another
deserves to have his property seized in payment.
Do you think you’re blessing your neighbors
when you sing at the top of your lungs early in the morning?
Don’t be fooled—
they’ll curse you for doing it!
An endless drip, drip, drip, from a leaky faucet
and the words of a cranky, nagging wife have the same effect.
Can you stop the north wind from blowing
or grasp a handful of oil?
That’s easier than to stop her from complaining.
It takes a grinding wheel to sharpen a blade,
and so one person sharpens the character of another.
Tend an orchard and you’ll have fruit to eat.
Serve the Master’s interests
and you’ll receive honor that’s sweet.
Just as no two faces are exactly alike,
so every heart is different.
Death and destruction are never filled,
and the desires of men’s hearts are insatiable.
Fire is the way to test the purity of silver and gold,
but the character of a man is tested
by giving him a measure of fame.
You can beat a fool half to death
and still never beat the foolishness out of him.
A shepherd should pay close attention to the faces of his flock
and hold close to his heart the condition of those he cares for.
A man’s strength, power, and riches will one day fade away;
not even nations endure forever.
Take care of your responsibilities
and be diligent in your business
and you will have more than enough—
an abundance of food, clothing, and plenty for your household.
The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 27 (The Passion Translation)
my personal reading of the Scriptures for january 27 of 2020 (Psalm 27 and Proverbs 27), along with Psalm 38 for the 38th day of Winter, and the paired chapters of the Testaments with Romans 3 and Malachi 4
and along with Today’s reading is a set of posts shared by John Parsons about the current reading of the Torah by Jews around the world:
Shavuah Tov, chaverim. Last week’s Torah portion (Va’era) reported how Pharaoh refused to listen to Moses’ pleas for Israel’s freedom, despite seven devastating plagues that came upon Egypt in God’s Name (יהוה). In this week’s portion (Bo), the battle between God and Pharaoh comes to a dramatic conclusion. The last three of the ten plagues are unleashed upon Egypt: a swarm of locusts devoured all the crops and greenery; a palpable darkness enveloped the land for three days and nights; and all the firstborn of Egypt were killed at the stroke of midnight of the 15th of the month of Nisan...
Before the final plague, God instructed the Jewish people to establish a new calendar based on the sighting of the new moon of spring. On the tenth day of that month, God told the people to acquire a “Passover offering” to Him, namely an unblemished lamb (or goat), one for each household. On the 14th of that month (“between the evenings”) the animal would be slaughtered and its blood sprinkled on the doorposts and lintel of every Israelite home, so that God would “pass over” these dwellings when He came to kill the Egyptian firstborn that night. The roasted meat of the offering was to be eaten that night with unleavened bread (matzah) and bitter herbs (maror). God then commanded the Israelites to observe a seven-day “festival of matzah” to commemorate the Exodus for all subsequent generations.
Just before the last plague was delivered, however, God instructed the Israelites to ask their Egyptian neighbors for gold, silver and jewelry, thereby plundering Egypt of its wealth. The death of the firstborn at last broke Pharaoh’s resistance and he finally allowed the Israelites to depart. Because they left in great haste there was no time for their dough to rise. The Torah states that there were 600,000 adult men who left Egypt, along with the women, children, and a “mixed multitude” of other Egyptian slaves who tagged along.
The Israelites were commanded to consecrate all the firstborn to God and to commemorate the anniversary of the Exodus each year by celebrating the LORD’s Passover in conjunction with the Feast of Unleavened Bread. During this time they were to remove all leaven from their homes for seven days, eat matzah, and retell the story of their redemption to their children. The portion ends with the commandment to wear tefillin (phylacteries) on the arm and head as a reminder of how the LORD saved the Israelites from their bondage in Egypt. [Hebrew for Christians]
1.26.20 • Facebook
The calendar of ancient Egypt, like our present Gregorian calendar, followed the course of the sun. The sun symbolized the power of the Egyptian sun god Ra (Re) who was also considered the creator and giver of life in some Egyptian myths. As far back as 2700 BC, Ra was regarded as the great god of heaven, King of all the gods, and lord of the resurrected dead. The daily rising sun was a symbol of creation (or the “eye” of Ra), and the shape of the pyramid is thought represent the descending rays of the sun. The Pharaoh, like the sun, was sometimes called the “son of Ra” and said to oversee everything upon the earth (note: the name “Ramses” can mean “Ra bore him,” though it is more likely that Amenhotep II [a name based on the merging of the gods Amun and Ra] was the Pharoah of the Exodus). Interestingly, the Hebrew word for evil or bad is ra’ (רַע), and the ayin ha-ra, or “evil eye,” might derive from this association. From a “macro” perspective, the call of Abraham out of Mesopotamia (Shinar-Babylonia) can be thought of as the beginning of God’s judgment of the religion/mythology of ancient Egypt...
The very first word of Torah indicates the awareness of the significance of time - בְּרֵאשִׁית - "in the beginning..." (Gen. 1:1), and according to Jewish tradition, the very first commandment given to the children of Israel (as a whole) was that of Rosh Chodesh (ראש חודש), or the declaration of the start (or head) of the "new month," particularly with regard to the first month of their redemption (Exod. 12:2). In other words, Passover month was to begin Israel’s year (i.e., Rosh Chodashim). Note that the word for month (i.e., chodesh) comes from the root chadash (חָדָש), meaning "new," and therefore the Passover redemption (chodesh yeshuah) was intended to mark a "new beginning" for the Jewish people. And indeed, God marks the start of our personal redemption as the beginning of our life as a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17), just as Yeshua is the "first of the firstfruits" of God's redeemed humanity (1 Cor. 15:45-49). [Hebrew for Christians]
For more on this subject, see “Parashat Bo: The Significance of the Moon" using the link below:
The moon's regular repetition of cycles suggests both change and renewal, wonder and mystery. The Hebrew word for month (chodesh) is related to the word for new (chadash) as it the word for renewal (chidush). God wanted Israel to look to the moon as their timepiece. Just as the moon wanes and disappears at the end of each month, but returns and waxes again to fullness, so we suffer until the return of our beloved Mashiach Yeshua, who will restore the glory of God fully upon the earth.
1.27.20 • Facebook
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I'd love to know some of those headcanons for the always faerie au!
Okay, so I think the divergence point for this AU is that Valentine never really goes down. He gets beaten back, but he’s still kicking around, openly pursuing his agenda and attacking Downworlders. He also targets Shadowhunters he deems to be too friendly with Downworlders, which is where the Rosales and the Blackthorns get involved. It… doesn’t go well for them. Or for anyone.
Cristina
The Rosales family, with their long standing ties to the hadas, suffer especially. Cristina’s mom realizes too late, with the Circle closing in on their house in Mexico City, that they’re going to be under attack soon. She tries to send Cristina (roughly a toddler) to Idris, but that fails. So on the advice of her older relatives, she turns to their trusted allies in the local fae community. She calls a hada she knows, one she works with on roses and gardening projects- to sneak Cristina out and take her away. The faerie, who knows and has some fondness for the Rosales, promises to keep Cristina safe before she leaves the Rosales under siege by Valentine’s forces.
Diego and Jaime and some of the other Rosales relatives are blessedly already safe in Idris, and unofficially the faerie was supposed to take Cristina there as well, but she did promise to keep the Shadowhunter child safe. The fae take their promises very seriously. It’s not safe in the mortal world anymore, not with Valentine around.
So she takes Cristina home instead.
The troop of faeries that end up raising her aren’t especially fancy or highly ranked. They’re nature spirits, mostly. They live in forests or the wilds of faerie, in encampments and hollows under hills and in hedges. It’s not a perfect environment for a human child, but they’ve raised changelings before. Cristina is resistant to the changes faerie inflicts on human children raised there, but she’s also a sturdy, resilient sort of girl.
She adapts, she learns to love the people who raise her, who have names like Azucena and Margarita and Girasol. She’s fast and smart and speaks every language they let her hear, even without the giftedness of the fae. She’s a good tracker, she’s witty and bright. She excels at dealing with humans and faeries alike.
Her mother’s golden pendant, which was slipped onto her neck before she was sent away, never leaves her side. At first her guardians figure it’s just another trinket, too cruel to take it away, and then she doesn’t let them. It comforts her, and she finds that with it, time passes with an odd stability for her. The words on the back, something about angels, don’t make much sense to her, but they don’t have to make sense for her to have faith in them. Faeries aren’t religious, persay, but they do put a lot of stock in luck and charms and magic and Cristina makes that into her own little religion.
She never loses her interest in her past either though, and that does worry her adoptive family. They love her and they are scared for her. They have all seen too many good people hurt by Shadowhunters.
(They never told her about who she really is, of course. For her own safety as well as the safety of the group. Revealing they’ve been protecting a Shadowhunter for years could endanger all of them.)
Finally when she’s about seventeen it reaches a breaking point. She can no longer quite tolerate being spoken over, being lied to by people who can’t lie. She packs up, sneaks off in the night, and uses all her cunning and smarts and know-how to make her way to the Seelie Court.
Then she charms her way into an audience with the Queen. And that’s when things get interesting.
(The Queen of course, knows who she is right away, she recognizes Raziel’s symbol when she sees it, but she’s not going to tell. Not without a reason to. So instead she offers Cristina a job.)
Mark
Meanwhile I think Mark is mostly being raised by his aunt. She is reluctant to take care of them, she knows it’s not great for a pair of half Shadowhunter kids to live in faerie in the current political climate… but it’s doubly not good for a half faerie child in Shadowhunterdom right now. She weighed the options and decided it was safer for Mark and Helen among the Seelie.
Their mother is barely alive, but very ill. Heartbreak, everyone claims. Torn apart by the cruelty of her Shadowhunter lover. She’s the one who calls Mark and Helen, Mark and Helen sometimes. Their aunt calls them by their faerie names. She wants them to fit in as much as possible.
(Andrew and the other Blackthorns are in hiding, presumed dead after a brutal attack on the Los Angeles Institute, again for Andrew’s historical ties to faeries. Andrew and Eleanor took their little family and ran to Idris, and then kept very quiet because he knew Valentine had people there as well.)
Mark’s pretty bored all the time because Nene is incredibly overprotective and everyone else lowkey hates him. Helen tries to be the responsible one, which leaves Mark to pick fights with lesser courtiers of the Seelie court, eavesdrop, and generally make a nuisance of himself.
By the time he’s a teen he’s finally gotten borderline obnoxious enough to earn some more freedom, with Helen’s more mature backup. They spend a lot of time wandering around the woods, picking herbs for their aunt and stretching the limits of their very close sibling relationship.
They’re both trained as healers, I want to say. It’s not that they don’t want to fight, they very much do. But Nene decided to try to make them look as nonthreatening as possible and forbade them to be violent. Of course, instinctively they’ve both rebelled against this.
Helen does a lot of parkour and free running in the halls of the Seelie Court, as well as some amateur gymnastics. Mark hangs around knights to pick up tricks. They are still both excellent healers though.
Kieran is basically Mark’s first real, non-sibling friend, and vice-versa.
Cristina, a young girl Nene is training to work for the Seelie Queen, follows shortly afterwards. She’s very smart and knows a lot about the wilder parts of faerie. More importantly, she knows a lot about the human world. She even knows some stories about Shadowhunters! Mark is enchanted.
Kieran
Was this close to getting sent to the Wild Hunt. Then they needed to kick someone to the Seelie as a hostage, so he got sent there instead. He was thankful at first, but then it turned out the Seelie Court was incredibly stifling and boring.
He keeps muttering that he almost wishes he’d been handed off to Gwyn. At least then he’d have something to do.
Nene got put in charge of him shortly after he came to the court, and while she was respectful and distant at first, she quickly realized that this was a cranky teenage boy. So she did the reasonable thing and tried to make him be friends with her other cranky teenage boy.
On principle, Kieran and Mark refused to like each other for their first few forced “playdates” and just read on opposite ends of the room. Then Kieran offered to show Mark how to stab things, and Mark offered to help Kieran get outside more, and their friendship was cemented.
Kieran wasn’t allowed to bring Windspear to the Seelie Court, for Escape Attempt reasons, and he is incredibly bitter about it.
Oddly, though Kieran and Mark offered to let Helen in on their fight training arrangement, she wasn’t interested. Which was fine because about three sessions in they ended up having a heart to heart about always feeling out of place and rejected and never knowing who to trust, and ended up kissing and bonding over their shared childhoods in the heart of the faerie courts.
Though he and Mark’s babyhoods were very similar in some ways, they were also very different. Every time Kieran sees how much Mark and Helen genuinely love each other, or the distant but doting care Nene lavishes on her niece and nephew he gets really jealous.
On the other hand, Kieran got to go to parties a lot more than Mark did and is really proud of it. Mark’s only gotten to go to a few of the tamer revels with Helen, but Kieran had very little supervision as a young teen and got invited everywhere.
He mistrusts Cristina at first, because she’s under the Queen’s employ, but Cristina slowly wins him over. She’s so guileless and sweet, and Kieran is desperate for love.
Plus, with Cristina with them they can get out a lot more. She technically counts as supervision, which means Kieran’s leash is a lot longer, and Mark is willing to sneak out with his friends.
They got to a few revels together, get drunk on faerie wine and starlight and dance in three person circles of their own in corners. Together, the three of them, they’re almost invincible. At least for the night.
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Educating Vitae
by Shim
Monday, 18 January 2016
In which choices are explored, people do things they know to be bad, blood is unhelpfully like sex, and there are altogether too many types of vampire.~
I must apologise firstly for the title, and secondly for not incorporating any song titles from Meat Loaf into this article. I already spent too long writing it.
So, only six years late, I finally finished reading Vampire Academy.
It’s quite fun. I originally wrote "really fun", but reflection on the social plot has made me a bit less enthusiastic.
The following will contain enormous amounts of spoilers, including big plot-type revelations. I should also point out that the book includes self-harm, and I will briefly mention it but not go into detail.
On Protagonists and Viewpoints
So the book is a little ambiguous about its nature. Let me cite some of the back blurb here.
Lissa Dragomir is a mortal vampire. She must be protected at all times from the fiercest and most dangerous vampires of all - the ones who will never die. Rose Hathaway is Lissa's best friend - and her bodyguard. Now, after two years of illicit freedom, they've been dragged back inside the iron gates of St. Vladimir's Academy. The girls must survive a world of forbidden romances, a ruthless social scene and terrifying night-time rituals. But above all, they must never let their guard down, lest the immortal vampires take Lissa - forever...
Huh. I don’t think I’ve seen a single night-time ritual. How misleading.
But never mind that! The point is, in this blurb and the early stages of the book, it’s not entirely clear who’s the protagonist (as discussed originally in
The Text Factor: Halloween Special: Girl Books for Girls
). The description kicks off with Lissa, and she’s the vampire, and the one affected by most of the weird events of the book. However, our viewpoint character is always Rose.
I wondered for a while whether this was going to be a dual-protagonist book with a single viewpoint character; due to blood bond shenanigans, Rose sporadically ends up in Lissa’s mind, which is a handy way to convey key information. That would have been interesting.
As the story progressed, though, I increasingly got the feeling that Lissa is more of a plot point (albeit a nicely characterised one) than a protagonist in her own right. Her early interactions with Christian, and her special status, suggest that her experiences might be the main focus of the book, with Rose there for support, observation and a bit of romance on the side. However, it soon becomes clear that Rose’s experiences are going to be much more narratively important than Lissa’s.
Introduction to the Vampire
There’s quite a lot of vampire stuff to introduce, especially for those of us not familiar with it. I’ve not idea how closely it fits folklorific ideas of vampires. However, the broad-strokes picture we get of how vampire society works seems to fit together in its own rather bizarre way. The relationship between moroi
[1]
, dhampir
[2]
and humans is clearly unhealthy, particularly their utterly hypocritical view of the people they depend on for blood.
However, Mead is careful to weave in some explanations for this. Not only are the ‘feeders’ providing food, which tends to dehumanise them; they do so willingly and eagerly, because of the intoxicating nature of vampiric saliva, making them into addicts. Society doesn’t respect addicts, so it’s easier to accept this situation. Moreover, Rose calls out the hypocrisy in the situation explicitly, while still allowing shades of it to slip into her own attitudes and words. Knowing something’s morally dubious isn’t an easy route to resolving it, after all.
They were well cared for and given all the comforts they could need. But at the heart of it, they were drug users, addicts to Moroi saliva and the rush it offered with each bite. The Moroi - and guardians - looked down on this dependency, even though the Moroi couldn't have survived otherwise unless they took blood by force. Hypocrisy at its finest.
This trait of allowing grey complexities into Rose’s voice is one of the things that pleased me about the book. Rose is quite perceptive about wrongs, injustices and ambiguities, but Mead hasn’t written her as some righteous, crusading heroine. In fact, the book is riddled with her weaknesses. You might even argue that one of the themes of the book (and, I suspect, the series) is morality, boundaries of acceptability, and the strength and opportunity to make moral choices. Let’s see if I can make a case for that.
Choices and Morality
One of the first things that happens in the book is a feeding; Rose’s vampire, Lissa, needs blood from her. This introduces the intoxication aspect, but it’s only later that we learn how unacceptable – dirty, perverted, unthinkable – this is in vampire society. However, it’s a decision they made to keep Lissa alive, and one that’s left Rose with a mild addiction.
Soon after they return to school, Rose walks into a classroom to find two high-status kids tormenting a poor kid, magically blowing his papers around the room. In many books this would be a teaching point, where Rose or Lissa stepped in to deliver justice and demonstrate their righteousness. Here, nobody does a thing.
My instincts urged me to do something, maybe go smack one of the air users. But I couldn’t pick a fight with everyone who annoyed me, and certainly not a group of royals – especially when Lissa needed to stay off their radar. So I could only give them a look of disgust as I walked to my desk.
And then the narrative moves on to another part of the plot. Although Lissa is technically high-status, and both were once socially powerful, the school has moved on in their absence. Now, the rumours about their escape – and soon about a series of associated events – greatly complicate their attempts to blend back in.
Similarly, Rose frequently does things that aren’t particularly nice, or good, or sensible. As the story is told from her viewpoint, we even hear her acknowledging these issues. She still does them, though. It’s very human.
Some tiny, tiny part of me was starting to feel sorry for Christian. It was only a tiny part, though, and very easy to ignore...
And later on:
"...between stealing [her boyfriend] and spreading those stories about her parents, you guys really picked the best ways to make her suffer. Nice work."
The smallest pang of guilt lurched inside of her. "I still think you're lying."
"I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a lair. That's your department. And Rose's."
"We don't-"
"Exaggerate stories about people's families? Say that you hate me? Pretend to be friends with people you think are stupid? Date a guy you don't like?"
All of the above accusations are, of course, entirely accurate.
A feud erupts between Rose, Lissa and another girl called Mia, apparently at Mia’s instigation. Still, both sides are determined to utterly crush their rival and exact painful revenge, which means immense suffering for both parties as their most private secrets are turned into playground gossip by the other side. It’s mutually-assured destruction, basically.
Another important decision involves Lissa’s vampiric powers. We learn early on that Lissa has some compulsion abilities, and gradually discover that she can influence both humans and vampires, which is highly unusual. When their social standing is destroyed by revelations of blood sharing, a furious Lissa resolves to use those abilities to forcibly change people’s opinions of them, catching them one by one and altering their feelings by magic. This does indeed allow them to gradually regain acceptability in the school, but Rose is deeply uncomfortable about it, with good reason.
Finally, there’s Natalie. Poor Natalie.
Natalie is the daughter of a powerful vampire, Dashikov, and she just wants to be loved. Throughout the book, she seeks social validation, but it’s made clear that above all, she wants her father’s affection, and doesn’t quite get enough. This poisonous little worm is enough to turn her into a pawn for him, and his total carelessness about her really reinforced how unpleasant he is. From spying on her friends for his sake, she’s eventually pushed into leaving mutilated animals around in an attempt to make Lissa reveal her healing powers.
Finally, when her father is captured, she takes the ultimate step of becoming a Strigoi, murdering one of the teachers to gain the power to break him out. It fails, and her death is another trivial loss in his quest for power. Once again, out come those Themes I mentioned.
Natalie breaks the bounds of friendship in the hopes of winning validation from her father, and what she’s prepared to do for his sake pushes her into the final betrayal of her friends and her entire species. Although apparently happy, she doesn’t have the willpower to withstand his influence and refrain from doing wrong on his behalf. Dashikov betrayed his duties as a father by turning Natalie into a pawn for his own sake, and manipulating her love to force her into immoral acts. This contrasts with Dimitri, who as a child defeated his vampiric father to defend his mother, and now bursts in to help Rose defeat her one-time friend.
Although Natalie was only ever a minor character, looking back, you can see hints of what’s going on in the way she casually teases out information and hangs around Lissa. I did feel genuinely sorry for her, and I was sorry to see she just got killed off at the climax. On the other hand, stories where the bad guys just hang around indefinitely can drag.
Knowing what’s best for you
It strikes me that throughout the book, I don’t think Lissa ever actually asks Rose for anything. Partly this is perhaps just habitual expectation that Rose will be there, but I feel that part of it is that Rose projects her own ideas about what Lissa needs onto her charge. The mental bond that lets her literally see through Lissa’s eyes and experience her thoughts surely doesn’t help. We never see Lissa’s side at first hand.
This is shown up most flagrantly when she intervenes to block what she sees as an unhealthy friendship blooming between high-status Lissa and the local brooding loner, Christian, whose parents were killed after going rogue and hunting other vampires. Lissa finds his company soothing and there’s a sympathetic spark between them.
Rose, who is unusually bound up in social games for a contemporary heroine, is horrified at the thought of Lissa associating with this outcast, and repeatedly takes her to task. Between her prejudice and his rather erratic behaviour, things spiral until Rose intervenes, actively lying to Christian to separate them. Naturally, both Lissa and Christian think the other party has wronged them, and things become progressively worse. She does become guilty, though, and eventually she’s forced to admit that she was in the wrong.
Nonetheless, Lissa’s story throughout the book is one of having her best interests decided and controlled by other people. Her escape from the school turns out to have been at Rose’s instigation and with no warning; they’re forcibly returned to the school; Rose patrols her friendships and tries to dictate her social interactions; and eventually, Dashikov steps in to capture her in the hopes of curing his terminal illness. Even this he tries to frame as being good for her, providing an escape from the problems caused by her unique magical abilities.
The problems are, essentially, mental illness. For some reason not yet explained, Lissa's abilities not only lead to her mental bond with Rose, but also to extremely distressing mental episodes. Her coping mechanism for this is the self-harm I mentioned above, and there are a couple of explicit scenes, including first-person perspective courtesy of Rose's bond. Her eventual hospitalisation after a particularly bad episode causes yet more social waves, but also kicks us over from the social plot to the Dashikov plot that seems likely to be the overarching arc of the series.
Interestingly, I don’t think Christian ever does this. One of the things that seems to make him a suitable friend is that he’s fully prepared to leave Lissa alone. In their first encounter he simply extends a tenuous offer of conversation, making no attempt to force it, and he gives her plenty of space. When Rose tells him that Lissa doesn’t actually want him around, he immediately pulls back (causing both plenty of grief).
He does approximately set someone on fire to end a spiteful conversation about Lissa and Rose, but in fairness it’s purely a distraction and he doesn’t really get a chance to ask whether they’d like any help. Although he also clearly thinks it’s really funny. It's sort of reminiscent of the earlier scene with the boy being bullied, only this time the observer does decide to step in and face the consequences.
Since neither Jacob nor Ralf would have set Ralf on fire, it sort of made the culprit obvious. The fact that Christian was laughing hysterically sort of gave it away too.
Coming back to my point, though, I do think his willingness to just let her be herself – tied in to his own solitude and need to just be himself – is a strong point in his favour. When he realises she’s been self-harming, he twigs immediately, says nothing, and just exudes a kind of supportiveness that Lissa finds very comforting. He’s also smart enough to realise she’s been mesmerising everyone to restore their social standing, which is another point in his favour. Admittedly, he thinks it’s hot, rather than an alarming abuse of a power she shouldn’t even have, but then he is a teenager, and she is canonically doing nothing harmful with it, so the narrative’s always going to be on her side.
What I’m saying is, basically, I liked Christian as a character. I thought he was a well-constructed love interest, even though we mostly only see him in brief glimpses through Lissa’s eyes, as he doesn’t let his guard down as much around Rose. To some extent he comes across as the conscience of the story, reminding Rose and Lissa of their moral failings.
In fact (if I can be astonishingly pseud for a moment) you could almost posit him as a jester; his outsider status, total lack of social power and uncaring badass lonerism means he can speak truth to power (and set people on fire) with impunity, having very little to lose. He's also positioned to observe the other students without much personal involvement, and thus to comment on them.
I found Dimitri appealing as well. Mead did a good job of building the connections between him and Rose – they have similar mindsets, a strong sense of dedication, they feel somewhat isolated, and they’re very physical people. In both cases, they bring an outsider perspective that gives rise to mild contempt for some aspects of vampiric society; a sort of flipside to Christian's status as scion of a family fallen to the strigoi.
Yet they’re not entirely the same. There are clear differences in upbringing: she was raised by the school and indoctrinated from birth to become a model guardian like her mother; he was raised in a tight-knit community of blood-donors. Age also creates a distinction: I can see Rose eventually maturing into a more measured person, though probably still less reserved than Dimitri.
The older lover thing is a trope, and being a trope it isn’t quite as problematic as a 17-24 relationship would seem to me in real life. Rose has also been surviving in the real world for two years, so she’s a bit more savvy than her years. I was pleased that Dimitri, and to some extent Rose, recognised and tried to deal with these issues. As well as the simple age barrier, school rules, and his pastoral responsibility towards her, there are some professional complications.
One odd observation: given how Dimitri is presented as a consummate professional, he completely misses a massive and glaring clue that something suspicious is going on, and the narrative skips right over it.
"Well, it was a hell of a lot better than the last one they tried"
"Last one?"
"Yeah. In Chicago. With the pack of psi-hounds."
"This was the first time we found you. In Portland."
"Um. I don't think I imagined psi-hounds. Who else could have sent them? They only answer to moroi. Maybe no-one told you about it."
"Maybe," he said dismissively. I could tell by his face he didn't believe that.
It's not very clear to me whether this is supposed to mean "he decided Rose was making it up" or "he was deeply suspicious and pretending not to be". Either way, nothing seems to suggest that anyone actually follows up on this obviously suspicious point, even though it ties strongly into the conclusion of the story.
Changing Minds
It’s maybe worth noting that this offers one of the more accurate portrayals of manipulation and social dynamics I remember seeing. Everyone involved is aware that what they’re dealing with is say-so, rumour and gossip, and quite harmful gossip at that, but they nevertheless either spread it or at least allow it to influence their behaviour. First Lissa, and then Rose, know the other’s desire for revenge is excessive, but they don’t seriously intervene and eventually both are committed to destroying Mia (we never get to see Mia’s side, sadly).
This isn’t just about bitchy girls, either. The boys in the story don’t come out too well. Several are happy to spread damaging lies about girls to get some attention, or even to be bribed with sex. There’s petty bullying, and Lissa and Rose are regularly targets of leering remarks and speculation on their relationship. Even the nicer named boys, Mason and Christian, are hot-tempered and use violence to defend Rose and Lissa from bullying. Only Dimitri, Rose’s smoking-hot combat instructor, escapes most of this – and as a 24-year old, he’s presumably matured more than the others, though he does have one aggressive confrontation with a student.
The school principal is interesting in the little we see of her. Rose views her quite clearly as despotic and arbitrary, but I don’t think the text quite supports that. She is quite harsh with Rose and Lissa, but then she has very good reason: they have committed a serious breach of rules by running away for two full years, causing enormous trouble and worry for a lot of other people. They also appear to be habitual troublemakers (lots of illegal parties and midnight escapades) and smashed up another student’s bedroom before leaving. Of course she’s going to be strict.
Moreover, this isn’t just normal school strictness; the vampires face the very real threat of strigoi hunting them down. In the absence of a very good explanation, which the girls don’t dare to give, severe punishment is inevitable and appropriate. She does intend to expel Rose before Dimitri intervenes, but then again, she’s prepared to change her mind when he agrees to take her in hand. I thought she was pretty well-done as a character.
Social Protagonists
On that social games point – my observation (from an admittedly limited subset of reading) is that the majority of protagonists in contemporary literature, particularly literature aimed at younger people, don’t really dabble in social politics. Many are bookish nerds, particularly on the more fantastical end of the literary spectrum. Many others are simply everyteenagers; they’re averagely attractive (at least in theory), averagely clever, have an average number of friends, and so on. I can only remember seeing high-status people in more literary books, or that high-society flavour of romance a la Jilly Cooper. Historical novels seem much readier to star nobles and the socially-influential, possibly because those are the bits of history that sound most fun.
As such, it was interesting to see a story whose protagonists were enthusiastic participants in the social scene. I was a little disappointed to realise that that was going to be strictly past tense; I suppose it does make sense for things to have changed in their absence, including their own feelings. Mostly, though, I imagine the narrative called for them to have to make new friends and not have very much support, because most of this volume is about that social uncertainty, and how it leaves them vulnerable.
Oh Sole Mia
Mia was actually the aspect of the book that I thought was weakest. I liked the fact that there was an apparently-arbitrary rivalry between these girls, and was quite sympathetic to Mia. Truth be told, I still am. We learn that her family are very low-status and she’s managed to work her way into more influential circles – another example of boundary-crossing, as this seems to be viewed in much the same way as social climbing in 1950s Britain, but seems quite reasonable to me.
Later it’s revealed that the reason for the feud is her appalling treatment by Lissa’s deceased brother, which Lissa is naturally reluctant to believe (as quoted above). Again, the brother made bad choices and harmed Mia both personally and socially in the process. However, Lissa loved and had faith in her brother, and it's difficult for her to accept that he was not only in the wrong, but actively wronged someone else. The fact that she's currently in a serious feud with Mia naturally makes that even harder.
I felt like both sides were being realistically angry and vindictive, but both were also understandable and sympathetic in their motivations. Although Mia technically starts the feud, she's clearly on the defensive from the start, responding to what seems an invasion of her social territory from someone she hates both as a royal and as the sister of her horrible ex.
Later on, though, the authorial voice turns violently against Mia. She becomes increasingly desperate in the face of the nobility closing ranks against her (which is quite understandable), and resorts to trying to get Rose’s help after a fall-out between her and Lissa. This is a sort of unpardonable sin in narrative terms, trying to create a betrayal between friends, and she’s quite explicitly painted as dangerous and ruthless. Of course, this is all in Rose’s voice, but it also felt fairly clear that this was the reality.
Worse is to come, though; it turns out that Mia spread rumours by offering sexual favours to a couple of bragging lads, while in a steady relationship with someone she’s apparently devoted to. This is the point where the narrative switches from nasty-but-somewhat-understandable to, it seemed to me, depicting her as genuinely obsessive and (in Rose’s words) “well into sociopath territory”. It’s not the actions specifically, so much as how far she’s willing to push boundaries in pursuit of revenge. Rose, on the other hand, is the Sexy Spice half of the Rose-Lissa pair, but the text is careful to emphasise early on that she hasn’t had sex, despite all the kissing and “semi-nakedness” that’s brought up regularly.
The problem is, though, that this leaves us with an antagonist who is flat-chested (highlighted very early on), short, relatively unpopular (until she started dating Lissa’s royal ex, apparently), working-class, and promiscuous, who is also portrayed as nasty and sociopathic. I feel like the conflation of those things is a bit unnecessary – I’d rather hoped to see the end of Bad Common Girl when I stopped reading Enid Blyton. She’s left to contrast with a conventionally-attractive, athletic, popular, high-status party-girl heroine who’s conveniently balanced between “sexy” and “virgin”.
This increasing vilification of Mia helpfully means that Rose and Lissa never have to really reconsider their own actions or question their consciences. In fact, the final flare of this plot in the book involves Mia making yet more bitchy remarks while Lissa is in hospital, and Rose punching her in the face. The uberplot kicks off while she's under lock and key, awaiting punishment. Narratively, Mia is placed firmly in the wrong, and I think that's a shame.
Weirdly, in some ways I actually felt more sympathetic to Mia than to Rose. She’s got plenty of issues, but she had been very badly treated by Lissa’s brother, and had fought had to overcome the major social disadvantages of her background in a prejudiced society, only to have that stripped away by the sudden return of Lissa and Rose.
To a large extent I also felt she was treated badly by the narrative, with Mead making an apparently conscious decision to make her a nasty piece of work and piling sexual condemnation on top of that. I’d have liked to see an antagonist who was just someone whose interests constantly clash with the protagonist, and I feel that would have worked well, given how Rose is constantly presented as flawed.
The Sex Talk
Awkwardly, I think the book is framing a lot of the social stuff around sex. I don’t know much about the sociology or literary issues here, so apologies for the aspects I will undoubtedly miss. Essentially, there’s a slightly weird thing where blood is sometimes a sort of metaphor for sex, except there’s also sex. You know?
People who provide blood to vampires are popularly called “blood whores”, which seems to be completely acceptable terminology – the only alternative, “feeders”, isn’t much better. I’m a bit surprised there doesn’t seem to be a single official or neutral term in use, even if teenagers don’t use it. The characters conflate these with the dhampir communities who raise children, creating an impression that non-guardian dhampirs (mostly women) are basically just sources of blood or sex or both for moroi. It’s not entirely clear how accurate this is in the setting.
The entire blood-sharing issue, which is the cause of Lissa and Rose’s fall from grace, is explicitly depicted as both “dirty” and strongly associated with kinky sex. The rumours spread about them claim that Rose has been sleeping around while allowing vampire boys to drink her blood - which is, predictably, treated as only being icky on her side, because sexism.
I mean, it makes some sense. I can see that in a world where “people you feed on” is an actual thing, then taboos would quite likely arise on also having sex with those people, and that all sorts of baggage would build around this.
The awkwardness here is that half their social redemption comes from proving (well, getting those same accusers to declare) that it’s all lies and Rose never actually had sex with anybody, let alone allowed them to drink her blood (the issue of Lissa is allowed to drop). The second half comes from revealing that, while Rose hasn’t been having sex, Mia has, which makes her the slutty one, so ner ner na ner ner. More or less.
It’s all fairly believable behaviour-wise... no, wait. The responses of the teenagers to these various bits of gossip and scandal are sadly believable, though Mia’s behaviour specifically was pretty hard to credit as plausible. At the same time I found it uncomfortable, because these attitudes were also bundled with Mia being quite clearly the spiteful antagonist and also presented as somewhat unstable, and the fact that she specifically uses sex as a lever to get boys to lie on her behalf.
Broadly speaking, you end up with a situation where Our Heroine is vindicated and approved because she wasn’t having sex, whereas Our Antagonist is condemned because she was having sex. This is, bizarrely, true even though Rose and Lissa actually were doing the blood-sharing that’s the biggest part of the taboo, whereas Mia just had sex.
It’s also a bit strange that as far as I can tell, the two boys who spread vicious lies about Rose in exchange for sex are perfectly happy to admit it and don’t seem to expect any consequences. Sexual mores are messed up, but in my experience flagrant lying tends to cause social backlash – and more so considering that the targets of the lies, Lissa and Rose, were social bigshots whose popularity is now restored. As far as I can tell, they agree to come clean under threats from one of Rose’s friends, but I didn’t find it entirely convincing. It felt a bit like the writer just needed to wrap this arc up now to start introducing the series plot.
It wasn’t a huge problem for me or anything, but this Rose-vs-Mia arc is the biggest arc of the book (it’s a series, so the main plot only just gets a look in), so it seemed a shame it had this awkward aspect to it. I feel like just dropping the sex aspect and having the scandal built purely around blood-sharing would have been both neater and stronger, as well as less problematic. As it was I didn’t feel like this arc was very well written.
The end bit
I feel like I should have some kind of conclusion here, but I don't really. I'm not sure whether I'll read any more of the series; I thought some of what it was doing was quite interesting, but I've noticed how much hmming and hawing I'm doing here, especially over poor Mia. The fact that I'm even thinking "poor Mia" is perhaps an indication that this series isn't for me.
I must also confess that I've got limited tolerance for plots along the lines of "you alone have the one special magic long thought lost or legendary, which will be the key to saving the universe".
On the other hand, I liked the bits of it that weren't about Mia, and maybe with the uberplot kicking off, that won't be much of an issue? I dunno. I've got plenty more to read right now. But perhaps, as with
Fallen
, now that I've worked out what the series is doing I've got what I need.
[1]
“Vampires” who are, as far as I can tell, essentially human wizards who drink blood but not in a bad way you guys, and also don’t like sunlight. They don’t seem to be superhuman other than some elemental magic.
[2]
Half-vampires who are basically Buffy as far as I can tell, but get brought up to be fanatically loyal to their vampiric masters and dedicate themselves to either protecting moroi from attack by the strigoi
[3]
, or being “blood whores” because… why not, as far as I can tell. Maybe it’s hard to get social security numbers when your parent was a vampire? Your dad, I mean. Dhampirs are basically all the bastard offspring of horny male moroi who wanted to get some curvy human female action, because moroi are always pale, thin and flat-chested.
Canonically, the dhampirs do all this to ensure the survival of their species, which is to say, their hybrid. Given the reality of dhampir life, I’m not sure why. Basically this seems to boil down to accepting a brutal life of either dedicating yourself to being elite bodyguards for feeble moroi and under constant risk of death, or being junkie blood sources for moroi and at constant risk of abuse, or breeding the next generation of dhampirs – in order to ensure that you can have descendants who have the same kind of lives.)
[3]
Vampires who are canonically evil because they kill their victims, although I get the feeling they’re mostly bad because they feed on moroi specifically to be honest. Also their bite turns people into more strigoi. They’re presented as being incarnations of predatory evil, but from the one strigoi we meet in the book, they come across as a mixture of Character In Goth Makeup and
Character In Evil Voice
. Basically these seem to be the Buffy Vampires of the setting – basically just like they always were, except faster, stronger, more metal, cooler and probably sexier.Themes:
Books
,
Young Adult / Children
,
Horror
,
Text Factor Halloween Special
,
Romance
~
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Bill
at 17:25 on 2016-01-18
The girls must survive a world of forbidden romances, a ruthless social scene and terrifying night-time rituals. But above all, they must never let their guard down, lest the immortal vampires take Lissa - forever...
Two out of three ain't bad
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Shim
at 18:31 on 2016-01-18
Two out of three ain't bad
I... how did I miss that? *facepalm*
Also I just realised this cover is different to mine (probably the US edition?) and although it's the exact same photo, mine is very pale with black hair and red lips (classically vampiric), whereas the above is pinkish with... brown hair, I think?
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Robinson L
at 15:00 on 2016-05-24I checked this one and its sequels out, along with
Fallen
and
The Morganville Vampires
after the TeXt Factor Halloween special. I read the final book, book 6, a year or two ago, and I recently started listening to the spin-off
Bloodlines
series on audiobook. So, I obviously liked it—quite fun on the whole, with occasional forays into really fun. I'd put the series somewhere above
Fallen
, but below
The Morganville Vampires
in terms of my enjoyment/appreciation.
(I also encouraged one of my sisters to read the first book, and while she enjoyed it, she loathed Lissa and all the Moroi, because she considered them useless in their dependence upon the dhampir guardians.)
I broadly agree with your case for the themes the book explores, and I'd definitely say it carries over to the rest of the series—and the first two spin-off books, at least. Interestingly enough, despite dealing with these fairly weighty issues in a moderately intelligent manner, the books still come across to me as light beach reading; I still haven't worked out whether I think that works towards their favor or against it.
Book 2—where my sister bailed on the series—is a downgrade in quality from the first, as there's less stuff going on through most of it. However, it rallies at the end with an exciting climax, and one which redress one of my major disappointments with the climax to the first.
Book 3 is a return to form, and a solid addition to the series.
Book 4 is, in my opinion, the best of the lot: here we see Rose's internal struggle at its most intense, and Rose herself at her very lowest point in the series. I said the books feel like beach reading, but there was a point about two thirds of the way through the fourth book which got me right in the heart, and I was impressed with the depth of emotional reaction Mead managed to evoke. Plus, the Lissa subplot was pretty cool, and the resolution was both awesome and unexpected.
Book 5 like Book 3, is a really solid addition to the series, though it feels like a bit of a downgrade coming off the high of Book 4. Still, it's got a lot going for it, and while the big plot points themselves aren't to surprising, I wasn't expecting when or how they would play out.
Book 6 was a little disappointing, not because it did anything really bad, just that it wasn't quite as exciting as I would have liked from the final installment. While I like that the climax doesn't revolve around a big fight with an Arc Villain for the series, I could have done with something a
little
more epic. Plus, the villain turned out to be a very likable character I'd pegged early on as being either a villain or a victim, because they didn't fit into any other story slot. Just when I was beginning to think this was just a cool supporting character, it's revealed that person was a villain after all. Sigh.
I agree with you about Natalie, poor thing.
As I recall, the school principal is, indeed, a strict but ultimately reasonable authority figure throughout the series, whom Rose misreads because Rose's and Lissa's behavior often brings out the “strict” part of her character. Actually, that's a bit of a running theme in the series.
From what I remember of the first book, Mia does degenerate from understandable antagonist to Designated Villain, part of which involves her engaging in sex to influence someone else's behavior—rather than for love, in contrast to both Rose and Lissa* over the course of the books—and that's not good. It's probably no big spoiler to reveal that Mia is rehabilitated later in the series, but as I recall, it's a case of a reformed villain rather than both sides admitting they shared the blame equally.
*I think Lissa slept with her then-boyfriend—Mia's current boyfriend—before the events of the book because she was young and horny, which is still more “legitimate” than sleeping with someone because so they'll help you out in your evil scheme.
I also felt like the series as a whole has a disappointing lack of follow-through regarding some of the more unpleasant aspects of Moroi society. The hypocrisy over feeders (I think that
is
the common parlance “neutral” term) is brought up at times, but nobody ever really tries to do anything to resolve it, so the overall message comes across as a helpless shrug, “too bad, what'cha gonna do?”
Furthermore, the books never really acknowledge how immensely f*cking scary the Moroi's compulsion magic is, and how, in a more realistic universe, even well meaning people like Lissa would probably wind up using it for much more destructive purposes than undermining their rivals' popularity; kind of like a miniature version of the One Ring. (One character in the
Bloodlines
novels is suitably freaked by it, but this is explicitly depicted as part of their irrational distrust of Moroi and magic in general. Not once so far have we seen how easily compulsion could be abused to disastrous effect. I know Robert Jordan had a lot of flaws as a writer, but his characters knew to treat that kind of power with the respect and suspicion it deserves.)
The Moroi's institutional aristocracy and monarchy (even if it's a constitutional monarchy) also strikes me as pretty disturbing, but no one even suggests there might be something wrong with that one.
I think Mead does a better job of keeping Rose's faults and flaws as a character foregrounded, even with Rose providing first person narration the whole time, while still keeping her a likable character. One of the fascinating things in the later books is the way Rose gets into relationships which we know because of narrative convention are never going to work out, and which she has some misgivings over, but which she talks herself into anyway, sometimes multiple times, and the boy in question is so enamored of her that he keeps holding out the hope she'll commit to him for real. It's very unfair of Rose, and depicted as such, but also as completely understandable given what she's going though. It's like a total deconstruction of the Evil Girlfriend Who Toys With Innocent Boys' Emotions archetype, without ever hitting you over the head with what it's doing. (Indeed, I could be prepared to believe Richelle Mead didn't set out to explode this stereotype at all, and just happened to do so in the course of writing about a young woman caught up in an Epic Tragic Romance trying as best she can to navigate a swathe of feelings and emotions which she doesn't fully understand.)
The older lover thing is a trope, and being a trope it isn’t quite as problematic as a 17-24 relationship would seem to me in real life.
Me too—although on the other hand, one of the best matched couples I know got together at ages 17 and 30, and they're still going strong 8 years later. Funny old world.
On a tangential note, it's really weird to consider that I'm now several years older than Dimitri in the books. The way he acts, I guess I always tend to think of him as being in his early 30s, rather than early 20s.
I must also confess that I've got limited tolerance for plots along the lines of "you alone have the one special magic long thought lost or legendary, which will be the key to saving the universe".
For what it's worth, we meet a couple of other spirit users over the course of the series. Also, while Lissa's magic is, indeed, critical to the plot, it is not the key to saving the universe, as that's not really what the books are about.
We learn a lot more about Strigoi in later books, too, and they do indeed come across a lot like Buffy-esque Vampires: pretty much the same personalities, and they seem to have some sort of feelings for other people, and yet still somehow evil and uncaring, and the juxtaposition of the two is about as awkward as you would expect. (I fantasized while reading those sections that the Moroi and the Guardians might just be mistaken, and Strigoi, while alien and with very different priorities, might not be actually evil and uncaring. No such luck, sadly.)
If you do decide you want to continue reading the series, don't get attached to the psi-hounds. They get dropped so completely in later books that I was shocked to see them when the film version of the first book came out, as I'd literally forgotten they existed.
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Warning depressed overindulgent rant about kids cartoon incoming
I’m cross-posting that’s from spacebattles.
You know I really need to start posting some positive s*** about Steven Universe. There’s a reason why it keeps getting my attention. I really love the setup, there are wonderful events, I love that its Aim so well. It’s managed to assemble a number of things as well as had a way of interacting with fans that encourages creativity and a community that produces so much that can be loved and expresses Joy.
I guess I’m just a natural Grump and I can only talk about things when I’m pissed off or think I’m being smart by dissecting it. Which in my mind means needlessly ranting about every silly little thing that I observe about a work or feel about a work or I feel about the people that I’m watching the work alongside.
I understand if this is not the kind of thing that you like. I can also understand if you want to be defensive of the show. Just respect the fact that I’m a person who has watched the show for a bit or just a person at all. But I do want to have some sort of discussion. It is why I am posting this out loud.
It’s just with the ramp up for more speculation and another interview I just feel like we’ve been at this dance so many damn times and we’re just being jerked around here. Which of course is the purpose of any work of art. At least serial media. You constantly give just enough so that people feel inclined to come back for more. But I guess well read the rant
Whiteeyes, post: 36894166, member: 314250
No mo, it felt much much worse. See Lost had no answers when it was written. It was created to pile up mysteries for a season or so and then get cancled like Twin Peams and every ither wekrd mystery show so they never had to answer any. It became too popular to cancel and they had to scramble to invent answers. SU has had dorwshadowing and setup as warly as season 1. It knows what it is doing.
.... I personally think that Steven Universe's character development and pacing is hampered by the fact that it wants to make everything a f****** mystery. This was a characteristic of Lost in a way that it got ridiculous. To the point where things like what's on Jack's tattoo or who is married or who was not or who had a terminal illness that they had known publicly forever and so on and so forth.
I think Steven Universe suffers from the same problem. Basic character development, interaction, or what-have-you tends to be put in a mystery box just so that that way we can create drama and then have it emerge later to create a resolution without progress.
The problem is that while mystery is their main tool in this endeavor to set up interest it's not the only way in which they do this and then be annoying. Now some of this is the fans frothing themselves up.
relevant example, when we see a title and then flip out about major speculation for a major plot point and then get disappointed when it's basically not so.
However I think this is in a part with all of their setup plot developments. As an example the return of Marty.
I actually want to be very fair-minded here. The Sour Cream situation identity and everything about him was very carefully set up over the course of a year and it actually made sense for once that he was a relatively new char in Stevens life. He's apparently older, runs with a different crowd, all that stuff.
Marty comes back for one episode
Not only do they run the most cliched plot imaginable about a deadbeat father and artsy dreamer son and the man who doesn’t get their passion but they do this basically to setup a virtue signal and reconcile sour cream and yellowtail in perhaps the worst way imaginable. In the first episode they actually share a scene.
But they don't share a scene in anyway proceeding to their actual reconciliation. All of that is cut aside just so that we can get to our cute little happy ending. This kind of ran things into the ground for me in some ways. Everybody defends moves of aborted long-term plot like this by saying that Steven Universe is more about people and characters and it is not about big plot twists and Sci-Fi Action.
That might be true but they're doing that character and living the life stuff in a bad way as well. By not having the family reconcile but by having Yellowtail basically come around and agree because Sour Cream suddenly has a villain for Yellowtail to prove immediately better than.
For a show that's often praised for its diversity and lack of stock archetypes this was too cliche You see this time and again with long setup plot points whether it's the eventual return and revelation of the backstory of lapis Lazuli, the face off with the cluster, and others- That isn't to say all long-term plot points have fallen on their face but a lot of them have and it seems as if what succeeds or what gets the necessary follow-up is arbitrary and random
This isn't the usual complaint of "this is filler! where is the plot?" This happens whether it's character Focus-interaction that often feels as if it's taking forever to happen or gets bogged down in Mindless drama such as the entire relationship between Sadie and Lars to the point that Lars doesn't feel as if he has a real character until these last 7 or so episodes.
He was basically the Grump. A cartoon stock archetype, a television stock archetype, a place talk archetype.
You didn't have to think about why he was grumpy because there was no reason other than to make him and grumpy. And remember this is the longest term character that's been on the show (was in the pilot) and he had a ridiculously thin characterization.
All of this would still be bad even if he didn't have a plot line that made me cringe
mackon, post: 36912103, member: 9256
Sure there are a lot of scenarios where the Zoo could be where it is and Pinks holdings only cover the solar system but just looking at what we have seen so far it looks like Pink administrated space covers more -shrug- How the Gempire is governed is sure to be more complex than X diamond runs this area and Y diamond runs that area anyway.
And this just all ties it together. We get all of this stuff that's supposed to matter then push it all to the side and then come up with confrontation that's in many ways not satisfying because there's no build-up or it's just confusing or inevitably leads to more stupid questions that aren't even asked in the show. I guess what makes this so frustrating is that the show has great set up. it does set up very well. But every time, or at least many times, when it's time for the payoff for those Domino's to go it always goes off like a bad fart.
All of these are pointing to the same issue. . .
For some people this is the climax of The Cluster. For others It's the Return of Marty. For others it's The Search For Answers. Some others feel disappointed because they think that there hasn't been enough queer text in the show. Others feel like characters are often push the Wayside and not given enough time to interact with the world shaking plot. All of these are pointing to the same issue, broadly speaking. Crewniverse throws something in the air but they don't follow through. Or they passport or just suddenly resolve something with another IOU.
The weird part is when they do this with a plot point they say that it's about the people. But Fusion Cuisine (wryyyyy) I think keeps hurting me because it's the episode that proves they don't respect people and character interaction.
Character interaction has to have consequences. Those consequences can be negative. It can be positive but it has to arise and seem to follow from each other. Subtle or flagrant but the consequences of character interaction, if having dramatic focus, have to be observable and meaningful. Instead, all too often, we see artificial ways in order to create drama and then arbitrarily end or ignore it. For some people this is Stevens disturbing naivete childish behavior when he supposed to be a mid teenager. The lack of follow-up questions or the way that plot points will conveniently go off screen for months at a time only to then pop up in order to keep up interest and tease us and then come off with a lack of resolution despite lots of build up to no change or wasted opportunity.
I think one thing that's bothering me is the reintroduction of there being some mystery to the death of Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz's crime against her. We've been here. already. we know what the answer is supposed to be. And yet apparently there's a new mystery.
Only I bet this new mystery is going to end up just as dissatisfying as “What is Lapis’s backstory?” or “How are we going to find Malachite?” or “How are we going to resolve The Cluster?” or “How will Beach City recover and her people deal with overwhelming change and trauma of an unnatural disaster?”
This shows up in other ways such as the not taking care of the Rubies when they have a ship. Or the fact that Homeworld keeps taking its sweet damn time in order to take care of the Crystal Gems and Earth even when it keeps on being a hostile instigator in the lives of the gems.
And I think Fusion Cuisine is emblematic of this fault with regards to character stories and showing that statement about character over grand plots as a poor excuse. They will create a situation that literally doesn't require any crisis which won’t be treated or result as one. The family just needed basic common sense or respect, even between strangers, and then they won't follow through on the natural consequences of the family’s disrespectful lies or dangerous actions.
And underlying this is a sense of- I don't know- condescension or virtue signaling? On one level the Crewmiverse really do follow through on the implication that yes Steven has a queer family. On the other it feels as if they've set up the Maheshwarens as strawman that they've spent the rest of their appearance just being someone in order to goof with. I still claim this due to the fact that Dr. Maheshwaren is treated as if she's overprotective or crazy because controls her daughter media consumption; when connie lied to her (twice) regarding her experiences and activities with STeven and his family. She lies about taking dangerous lessons from a person who partook in an assault of her daughter and has expressed bigoted opinions of her race -as in the human race- for months. This disobedience, to make Connie a fighter, is Justified because the story made Dr. Maheshwaren too damn stupid to notice not only does her daughter not wear her glasses anymore but that the three limbed candy colored being with no heartbeat is a gem Fusion and Connie saves her from it. So the resolution is Connie NEEDS to be a sword fighter for the growing dangers of the Cluster.
only we remove that as a valid point
For a show that keeps purporting being about togetherness, the cast herding and other things kind of put that as a lie. And Fusion Cuisine is an exemplary of this. It exists for a lot of reasons, but the number one thing it ends up doing is helping justify this sense of distance between humanity and the gems and completely ignoring ways in which they can come together and be understood. Or conflict and come to resolution and understanding. So the character conflicts and development feel artificial or low stakes or superfluous and the plot and combat and Magic feels as if its always being sandbagged for these meaningless character beats.
I think the show is going to lose me. And I don't think there's any big thing that it can do now to convince me. It's spent so much of the goodwill and belief from its initial run and set up. It has undermined all of it set up when it's actually gotten anywhere. I no longer trust the show to turn out to be well. At least in a way that I think will be satisfying for when they pull another “wait until you see the payoff for this” move AGAIN. And I suspect it's going to keep misfiring in ways while implying that it's so damn clever.
There's just something incredibly artificial about Lars being captured with Steven and effectively telling all of his emotional issues that I feel like they have not been appropriately Illustrated despite multiple character Focus episodes. And given the track record on how long it takes to actually engage with plot points or how they can be unsatisfying-ly resolved and then put out the way until they are unsatisfying-ly resolved is also bothersome.
I was kind of okay with the end of The Cluster but I also understand how that could frustrate some. But one way that I can agree it was bad is we effectively spend all this time setting up the end of the world and the resolution of The Cluster basically put it out of mind and hasn't been Revisited or had any further effect. The only lasting consequence has been the Turning of Peridot.[and according to some that’s been flattened to irrelevance too]
So that meant that The Cluster basically existed so that that way we would have something in order for Peridot to oppose to justify her becoming a good person. Which reminds me of how they handled Marty and Sour Cream and Yellowtail and so I'm really really uncomfortable about them trying to go “oh, we're going to be all about character don't be all about the magical Destiny b*******.” only characters remain thin and ignorant and nothing but potential fodder
Maybe I'm just in a really nasty mood[edit- looking back I was]. But I will say this; I think after this much time the show has set up its relationship with the audience and I think it's made me distrustful and doubtful of its reliability. I don't want any more promotional material. I don't want any more interviews covering for stuff not in the show. I don't want any more teases. I want an actual story executed on the screen in a satisfying manner. And honestly I think what with the relative Circle walking season 4 and the reintroduction of more complications about mysteries about Rose and more drama about Steven feeling sad and more “Steven is going to have to introduce Humanity to this alien-person” as his own life seems as divorced from Human Experience as possible.
The artifice of the show is coming out. It's much like how some can't take Game of Thrones seriously anymore. It makes sense to kill off the characters that they have killed off but there's no more emotional investment and we’re getting more and more sense that all of this is a bunch of Sensational nonsense.
#su critical#forgive me#i have sinned against the crewniverse#well i don't likely adhere to the principle#i can't accurately judge them only the product that they make
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