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promise-you-doie · 6 months

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Like a Butterfly | P. Wonbin

Summary: Love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing, how lucky of you to have found it twice. Pairings: Shotaro x Reader Wonbin x Reader words: 15k Genre: kind of a love triangle, fluff, angst. Warnings: mild cursing, suggestive. that's all. :)

Poetry has been around since the beginning of time. It knew many forms and emotions. You loved it because it had no rules, no restrictions. anything could be poetry. That was the beauty of art.

If you had a Time Machine you would teleport back to the time when life was simpler. You didn’t have the stress of school, the weight of peoples opinions or the inconvenience of being somewhat an adult.

Luckily you didn’t need a Time Machine, you had Wonbin. Having his arms wrapped around you was your form of escapism.

His fingers intertwined in yours and you feel yourself chasing all the heat his body has to offer as you push yourself as close as physics would allow you to. You love him, you’re sure of it.

You love the beautiful melody of his voice, the lovely shapes in his face. The brightness of his smile, the softness of his hands. and sometimes you think you love the way he loves you, but he doesn’t. That’s the issue.

You often find yourself daydreaming of an alternate universe in which he cared for you the way you care for him. It wouldn’t be too different from the one you’re in now. Only difference is you wouldn’t have to hide with him.

The two of you could love each other aloud, you could kiss him in front of your friends. Hold hands during the day.

But those were just daydreams. This is reality, and In your reality you were sitting on the opposite side of the food court watching Wonbin smile and giggle with a girl who wasn’t you.

Over time you’d gotten better at keeping your emotions tamed.

“Girl? You got beef with the broccoli?”

Well… you were still working on it.

“It's just not-“ you stab the broccoli a few more times before you give up and just throw the fork down.

“Is something bothering you?” Shotaro asks softly. Hearing his voice only eases you down. You could never be upset around him, not when he’s giving you a look like he’ll do anything on the planet to make sure your smile never fades.

It wasn’t just his eyes that were telling you that, it was everything about him. It’s just how he was.

“I’m just so stressed with midterms coming up. I can’t fail, my parents will kill me.” You partly lie.

“Want me to come over later, we can study together. I’ll make sure to get the cherry ice cream that you really like.”

His suggestion is enough to erase whatever distress you were feeling.

“Thank you taro.” You smile at him

“Oh you two are so cute. Just date already.” Giselle laughs watching the two of you interact with each other.

You wished it were that simple, you would just be happy with Shotaro like everyone expected you to. But the only dilemma to this obvious solution, was that you only kinda liked shotaro. But you really like Wonbin.

As if he could hear your thoughts, the devil with a sly smile walks over to your table stirring up your emotions once again. Smirking as if he knows how upset he’s made you talking to that girl.

“What’s going on over here?”

“Nothing that concerns you?” Winter dismisses him.

You try to ignore him but you can’t help but feel his gaze burning into you like the rays of the sun. Usually you loved it, but right now his intense contact made you wanna crawl up into a ball and vanish.

“Who’s the girl you were flirting with?” Ningning asks

“He probably doesn’t even know her name? It’s a new girl everyday with him.” Karina adds

Hearing it all made you want to throw up, but you keep your calm. Simply picking at the food on your plate trying to tune out the conversation that's happening right before you.

You’re so immersed in your food that you don’t even notice that everyone’s stopped talking and is watching you brutally stab at the chicken.

“Oh that poor chicken.” Ningning whispers.

After a few short seconds you break out of your own bubble and look up at your group of friends, quickly taking notice of horror on each of their faces.

“Sorry, I gotta use the bathroom.” You say dismissing yourself from the table.

“Damn, if she’s this scared for midterms. There’s no hope for the rest of us.” Sohee deadpans

“To be fair, there was never any hope for you.” Winter snickers.

The table breaks off into a new conversation, completely missing when Wonbin sneaks off after you.

“Where are you heading off to?” You hear Wonbin in some distance behind you.

“Class.”

Within a split second his hand is on your wrist pulling you back towards him until you’re face to chest.

“We have some time.”

“I’ve gotta get to class, Wonbin.”

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, I’m just-“

“You know i know better”

You couldn’t tell him the real truth. That it bothered you seeing him with someone else. That you were jealous but you had no right to be because the two of you weren’t even dating.

“It’s just a lot right now.”

“You usually come to me about these kinds of things.” He says softly and it makes you melt, almost as much as his subtle touch to your cheek.

“I've just been a little too busy lately.”

“Then I’ll just come over tonight, we can talk all you want.”

The offer was tempting. The only thing that could fix you was laying for hours in his arms and talking until you mumbled yourself to sleep just as you always do.

“Can’t. I’m studying with shotaro tonight.”

“Then I’ll just stop by afterwards.”

“I’m gonna be late for class.”

“I’ll see you later?”

“Goodbye, Wonbin.”

Laughter echoed throughout the living room where you and shotaro remained. Textbooks, notebooks, pens and snacks took up the space between the both of you. Keeping the mood light and easy.

“Okay let’s see…” you pause for a moment to search for a question you were sure he wasn’t gonna get.

“What is the term used to describe a process that is both catabolic and anabolic?”

“Amphibolic.”

“No fair, you cheated.”

“No i didn’t.”

“Did too!”

“Did not.”

In the middle of your childish bickering you hear your phone ding. Your first instinct was only to ignore it, and switch your phone off. But you quickly get a change of heart when you see that Wonbin is the reason for the notification.

Wonbin <3: still studying?

Wonbin <3: I miss you

Wonbin <3: Can’t stop thinking about you

Each message sends a new wave of butterflies, it’s almost sickening how you allowed him to have this effect on you.

You: I’m trying to focus

Wonbin <3: I’m sorry baby, continue studying.

“Sorry, Karina’s nagging me about her new shoes.” You made up.

“Actually it’s getting pretty late, do you wanna call it a night?” He asks as he’s already closing the books, knowing what your answer is gonna be before you get a chance to say anything.

“Um. Yeah, we can continue another time. I’m getting pretty tired.”

“So I’ll see you in class.”

“Of course. Drive safely. Text me when you get home.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, shotaro.” You smile warmly at him and it lingers for a few seconds before he finally leaves. You can’t help but hold your smile even after you close the door to your apartment and reach to clean up the small mess on your floor. It’s only a few books, highlighters and a set of keys that you assumed were yours at first but after picking them up you quickly noticed they weren’t.

Just as soon as you come to the conclusion of who the keys could belong to you hear a knock at the door.

“I picked them up as so-“ your eyes widen the moment you notice that it’s not shotaro but Wonbin standing on the other side of your doorway. Within two seconds you pull him in and check the hallway to make sure that no one saw him coming to your apartment at 11 pm at night.

“What are you doing here?” You whisper, shout, as if people can hear you through the walls.

“I wanted to see you.”

“What if he saw you?” And the moment the words leave your mouth there’s another knock at the door. You only have five seconds to think and in those five seconds you push Wonbin out of view and breathe before you open the door.

“I left my keys.”

“Yeah, I picked them up just a few seconds ago.”

“I also wanted to ask if maybe you’d want to come with me to the fall festival tomorrow.”

You fix your lips and you’re about to accept his invitation when you hear a loud noise coming from Wonbins direction.

“Did something fall?”

“No yeah it’s just a painting I’ve been trying to keep up. But it keeps falling.”

“Do you need help with it?”

“Uh no i think i might just return it, but yes i definitely want to join you tomorrow.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I think it’ll be fun.”

“Good, so uh I’ll just text you when I get home.”

“Drive safe, good night.”

“Goodnight.”

The second you close and lock the door you’re scolding Wonbin yet again.

“Are you trying to get us caught?”

“It just fell.”

“Oh just fell my ass.” You yell at him but you can’t remain serious when he’s looking down at you with his dark Diamond eyes. Or when he gives you that smile that you absolutely hate (love).

“I’ll be more careful next time.” he smirks.

You wanna scold him about there not being a “next time” but there’s only so much you can say when your lips are occupied with his own.

His hands are tugging and your waist to pull you closer to him and naturally your hands wrap around his forearms. Your conscience is telling you this is wrong and you need to end whatever it is that the two of you have going on. But your heart completely disagrees as you’re pulling him even closer to you like he’s gonna disappear under your grasp.

You find yourself in this position too often. You wished you could say you hated it, but that’s just not the case. It’s almost sickening how weak you are for him. All he had to do was say your name and you’d fold for him time and time again.

His fingers are twirling around in your hair, your legs are horizontally crossing his and cheeks are pressed against his chest. By now your eyes are getting heavier and heavier, and the warmth of his body doesn’t aid in your sleepiness. Nor does the way his chest vibrates every time he speaks, and especially not when his voice is soft and soothing.

“What got you upset this morning?” He circles the question back around after hours. You don’t wanna remember the way she smiled at him or the way she brushed her hand against his arm. And you especially don’t wanna have to tell him about your frustrations so you sum it up to. “Just something the girls and I were talking about.” Hoping he wouldn’t ask any more questions about the matter.

Eventually you shift your body so you can just lay over top of him, and comfortably fall asleep on his chest. The rhythm of his beating heart and the way his body rises with each breath he takes is more than enough to have you drifting to sleep once again and when you’re hanging on to a single thread of energy he kisses atop your head and whispers for you to sleep well.

“Are you here by yourself?” That’s the single question that landed you here in the first place.

You’re sitting alone in an almost empty library. There’s just you, a few other students and the librarian. It’s quiet, that’s why you loved it. perfect place to go and get set on all of your academics or just escape from the noises of everyday life.

You’re so interested in your book that you fail to notice Wonbin walk in, and immediately gravitate over to you.

It’s not until he speaks that you lift your head from the contents of your novel to meet his eyes, and a pretty smile to match.

“Are you here by yourself?” He asks

“Yeah, I just needed to clear my head.”

From there is when you both begin a conversation, you realize that he’s easy to talk to. The conversation just flows like the crystal clear water of a river. You talk enough to have just wasted 3 hours of what was supposed to be alone time. But you feel as if you’d rather have spent time talking to him than doing anything else.

Overtime he becomes the person you can go to just to talk. Talk about any and everything, but somehow conversations led to prolonged kisses and touching each other in ways you wouldn’t want from anyone else.

“I’ve never kissed anyone.”

“Really, never?”

“I mean well, I kissed this guy in freshman year of highschool. but it was so weird I don't even wanna think about it.”

you stopped talking when you noticed him watching your lips. For a good few seconds neither of you said anything. The only noise to fill the air was the background noise of the T.V.

“First kisses are usually always awkward, mine was.”

you gasp a little when his focus shifts from your lips back to your eyes.

“yeah, I guess so.”

“So I'm guessing you haven’t dated anyone?”

“no, not yet.”

“How come?”

“I just don’t have the time, not with school and stuff.”

“but you have time to talk to me.”

“That's because I like talking to you.”

“you do?”

with each sentence that leaves his mouth you hear the tone of his voice get softer and softer. you couldn’t remember when it started, when you started liking him. or when just the sound of his voice became so intoxicating to you, but what you did know was that there wasn’t anything you could do about it.

so when he gently slipped his hand under your jaw and hooked around the side of your face, and kept eye contact with you as he got closer and closer until you felt his breath brush upon your lips. you only closed your eyes, you didn’t have the willpower to fight him off and even if you did. you wouldn’t want to.

because your second kiss was way better than your first, it was unclear why though. was it the quality of the kiss, or was it the person you shared the kiss with? you were unsure, and as much as you wanted to find out. you couldn’t, it couldn’t happen. not again.

being with wonbin broke so many of the friendship rules and you knew that. which is why you never told your friends and you never kissed him again.

however the conversations never stopped, talking to him was how you managed through busy weeks and frustrating assignments. you were too busy for leisure time, let alone relationships. so how did you make time for him? how did you manage time to sneak around with him?

“you just take this 4 and multiply it by the 7 down here.” you ask

when you look up is when you finally notice how close he was. you stop breathing for a few seconds looking down to see that if you moved just a few inches you’d be touching his fluffy pretty lips.

but you blink out of your fantasy, you’d already made it clear that what happened before, can’t happen again.

“are you keeping up?”

“no i think i got lost, could you run it over one more time.” he’s just barely whispering now, and staring at your lips.

“yeah, umm you just…”

before you could explain anything he moves the hair from covering your face, using only his index finger to push it over your shoulder so he could see you a little more clearly.

“wonbin…” you whine lowly and it causes him to laugh in a way that gives you butterflies.

“yeah?” he asks innocently.

it’s his smile, it’s his smile that makes your heart beat outside of your chest. it’s his smile that makes you act the way you do. it’s his smile that posses you to kiss him back when he lays his lips on yours.

“We can't take this any further.” you say once you push him off of you

“okay.” his lips are agreeing but his hands aren’t obeying. sliding past the skin of your thigh in a way that makes you dizzy.

“I won't do anything you don’t want me to.”

“it’s not that i don’t want to…”

“then tell me what it is?”

“you can’t flirt your way out of this assignment.” the words come out in a whisper as you take his larger hands into your own, to stop him from sliding up and down your leg.

the rest of the evening went smoothly. only small touches here and there. but nothing that you felt like would jeopardize the friendship. but when he leaves and you fall back on your bed all you think about is how perfect his lips felt on yours or how electrifying his hands felt on your skin.

you know that the friendship is beyond jeopardized by now. you don't know when the damage began, if it was when you shared the first kiss? or if it was when you rolled off your bed to answer the door after wonbin had left, only to find that he was back. and he was thinking about you just how you were thinking about him.

“Why are you still here?” you question but he doesn’t answer. He walks in the more you back up until he’s far enough to close the door behind him.

“Can I kiss you?”

“no.” you wish you had the strength to say that. no, more like you wished you could say that and actually mean it. but he stands over you looking down at you in a way that makes you forget everything else.

“please.”

What started as a kiss ended as the two of you wrapped in your sheets.

you shielded your face in his neck from all of the embarrassment you felt, knowing that it was far too late to just stay “friends”.

“We can't tell anyone about this.”

“I won’t say a thing.”

he agrees as he lays a sweet kiss on the side of your head.

you thought that this was the lowest you could go. having sex with him and lying to your friends. but you found a way to go lower, you fell in love.

you fell in love with him, and you fell in love with sneaking around with him. kissing in hidden hallways, lingering gazes in front of your friends and cryptic conversations.

that’s why everytime he comes over you can’t help but give in to him. anger doesn’t exist when you’re around him and you wanted so deeply to hate him. but you just can’t

Within 30 minutes of Wonbin waking you to tell you he was leaving to get ready for school, your alarm went off, telling you that it was now your turn. Not ready to get up yet you snooze your alarm for 20 more minutes.

After twenty minutes pass and your alarm goes off again you roll out of bed and throw on the first thing you see. Which happens to be an oversized black zip up hoodie and a pair of jeans.

“Is that Wonbin’s hoodie?” Giselle asks the second she she’s you.

“Hmm?” You finally look down at the large garment you’re wearing. Nearly widening your eyes when you realize it is in fact his hoodie.

“No. Girl why would I be wearing Wonbin’s hoodie?” You laugh off and she follows after you

“I thought it was for a second.”

“Anyways I heard shotaro finally asked you out on a date.”

“It’s not really a date, we’re just hanging out.”

“Hanging out alone? It's definitely a date.” She re-adresses and continues

“It’s about time, you guys move like turtles.”

By the time she finishes her sentence you’re standing right out front of the door to the class.

“It’s just a little hang out.”

“Talk to someone who doesn’t know any better.”

“Goodbye Gigi.”

“Bye girl.”

The second you walk into class you catch a glimpse of the very girl that had her paws over (not) your man yesterday morning. But you don’t get much time to think because shotaro calls your name and signals you over to take a seat next to him.

“Hey.” You smile before you take a seat.

“How’d you sleep?”

“I slept pretty well.”

“So we’re still on for tonight.”

“Yeah of course.”

He smiles and turns to the teacher when she begins to speak. You wanna pay attention to the class, but all your focus goes to the brunette beauty sitting far across the room.

She’s talking to her friend and she starts to smile, you see just how pretty her smile is. Which you hadn’t noticed yesterday. She’s gorgeous and you hate it. You hate how pretty she is, you hate that you’re now so fixed on her because of one minor interaction between her and someone that you weren’t even supposed to be with.

Each time you try to pretend she isn’t there, you find yourself taking more and more peaks of her. By the end of the class you’re now hating yourself and wanting again to just disappear into thin air.

You leave class immediately, wanting to head to the bathroom and take a small break but Wonbin has other plans as he stands outside of your class to pull you aside the second you walk out.

“Why haven’t you responded to my text?”

“Huh?” You question clearly confused about what it is he would even be messaging you about that was so serious it warranted him standing outside of your class like a fool.

“Didn’t you get my messages?”

“No, I haven't checked my phone.”

“Wow, nice to see that you guys are finally talking. Sometimes i forget that you two know each other.” Shotaro speaks from besides you.

“It’s just there's nothing for us to really talk about.”

“I think we’d have more conversations if you didn’t ignore me.”

To that you just laugh off, hoping that Shotaro didn’t catch the sarcasm in Wonbin’s statement.

“Well I’ll leave you guys to talk, I’ll be in the library.” Shotaro points as he walks off and you fix your legs to follow after him but Wonbin takes your wrist and pulls you back to him.

Only for you to quickly pull it away. “What are you trying to do?”

“Sorry, wouldn’t want your boyfriend to catch us.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” You say first

“And secondly i didn’t say anything when you were fucking that girl with your eyes yesterday.”

You wanna die when he smiles down at you, finally pulling out the answer that you’d been trying to hide.

“Is that why you were so mad?” he mocks.

“No, I wasn’t mad. I don’t care. do what you want.”

“To be fair you’re not being so discreet, walking around campus with my hoodie on.”

“I didn’t realize it was yours until I got to school.”

“But you still have it on.”

“I don’t have a shirt on '' you whisper shyly enough for him to hear. The way he smiled at you makes you debate on whether you wanna kiss him in front of everyone or run and hide.

“Well you look good in it.” He says playing on the strings of the hoodie.

“Can I see you later?”

“You know you can’t.”

“Right, you have a date.”

“It’s not a date.”

“Then go tell him that.”

“No. Why would - I don't have time for this. I have to go study.”

“Study hard.” You don’t give a response, you just roll your eyes and walk away.

This is a date. There was no point of lying to yourself anymore when you knew the answer. Shotaro’s handsy, not in the way that makes you uncomfortable, but in the way that if a stranger were watching they’d think that you were a couple.

Of course you don’t mind it when he slides an arm around your waist and pulls you close to him whenever a stranger passes by you. Or when he slips his hand over yours to lead you through the different activities.

In fact you think you might actually like it. The mood with shotaro is so light you feel like you're just floating. You’re happy, and you know you can most definitely get used to this.

“Look.” He says to grab your attention. You turn around and see he’s holding his phone to take a selfie with you. So easily you hold up a pose to match his expression and watch as he takes a few flicks.

He swipes through the pictures in front of you so you can see the results. Leaned against him with your arm looped around his.

“These are so cute.”

“You like them?”

“Mhm, send them to me.”

“Okay what do you wanna do next?”

“Um~” you hymn while looking, scanning around the area to see what catches your eye. Each station looks fun and interactive but when you see a coffee stand that has hot chocolate, your mind is made up immediately.

“Let’s get hot chocolate.” You look up at him and he’s looking down at you with his dark orbs.

“Hot chocolate it is.”

He leads you to the hot chocolate station and stands with you in line.

“Which one do you want?”

“Pumpkin with whipped cream.”

You wait in line, your arms remained tightened around Shotaro while he placed the order. You only pull your arms off of him when the person working the stand passes you your cup of hot chocolate.

“Oh look, it's Wonbin.”

Hearing his name is enough to perk your ears up. You hadn’t thought about him the whole night, and you really don’t wanna start now.

You follow Shotaro's eyes to see Wonbin standing not far away from you. He doesn’t notice you standing there until Shotaro calls out his name and signals him over to you.

Wonbin sees Shotaro first and then he sees you, shaking your head back and forth with widened eyes hoping that he’d take the hint and stay where he is. But he doesn’t, of course he doesn’t.

“Hey I didn't know you guys would be here.” Wonbin lied straight through his pretty lips.

“We were just hanging out.” Shotaro responds on your behalf

“I’ve been looking for you. I got our hot chocolate.” The same girl from yesterday stood right in front of you again. Wearing the same smile she had prior and a look in her eyes that tells you that she really really liked Wonbin.

“Thanks.” He says retrieving a cup from one of her hands and using his other hand to hold the hand he just freed.

You feel sick again, just as you did yesterday morning. The worst part is that you know that he knows because of the way he smirks darkly at you.

“Oh these are my friends.”

“Oh I know you guys, we have biology together. I always thought that you made the cutest couple.”

You smile and look up at Shotaro who’s also smiling.

“They aren’t dating.” wonbin sternly corrects her before she gets a chance to finish her sentence

“Wait really, you should y’all are so cute together.” She compliments again. Completely oblivious to the way wonbin turns his head and rolls his eyes.

“Wouldn’t they be perfect together?” She looks up at Wonbin for an answer.

“Yeah, I couldn't imagine her with anyone else.”

“Thanks everyone tells us that we should get together.” You smile up at shotaro hoping to make Wonbin at least half as upset as he made you.

“We should leave you love birds to finish your night.”

“Actually I think it would be fun for us to go through the haunted maze together.” You loop your arm back around Shotaro and smile at Wonbin.

“Oh my god, yes.” Wonbin’s date jumps and sequels.

The night was fun before and you had expected it to get even better, clinging on Shotaro as you walked in front of Wonbin and his date through the maze. Tightening your hold onto his arm each time another actor popped out. Or giggling about how brave he was, knowing that wonbin got to see everything.

You just wished that you could keep up the act for the entire night. Or at least not visibly roll your eyes when you hear a small voice behind you go “this is so scary, can I hold your hand.” It took everything in you not to turn around to see what was going on behind you.

The more you hear the conversation going on behind you the more you cling to Shotaro. Half attempting to make him jealous and half hoping that if you spent more time worrying about Shotaro you’d spend less time thinking about wonbin and the girl behind you, and not what they were doing.

Not that there was actually anything happening, wonbin was too occupied with watching you laugh and smile with Shotaro to even care about the girl that he invited simply to see you get mad again. Her hands on him went completely unnoticed as he poked his tongue through his cheek to stop himself from making any comments aloud.

When all of you finished the maze you were annoyed and so was he, but both of you were stubborn. So he wore a pretty fake smile when he wrapped his arm around the girl beside him and you did the same, intertwining your fingers with Shotaro's and smiling up to him about how fun the maze was.

You weren’t even trying to piss Wonbin off anymore, you were just trying to keep up the act that you started. Unsure of who you were doing it for. Were you trying to convince Wonbin, Shotaro or yourself?

The night ends off with you in the passenger seat of his car, after he arrives at your apartment.

“I had so much fun, taro. Thanks for inviting me out.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, I actually wanted to talk to you a little bit.”

“Yeah? What's up?”

“Well actually I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I just didn’t wanna make a fool of myself, but I was talking to the guys about it, and they said I should just do it. I don’t wanna make things weird though and actu-” you’re watching him in adoration as he rambles on and avoids eye contact with you.

“Do what?” you ask through your giggle

“Well I really like you, Y/N. I’ve liked you for a long time now and I like talking to you, spending time with you.”

“Yeah.” you speak gently, that’s what makes shotaro take a deep breath and finally look at you.

“I just wanted to ask if you’d like to be my girlfriend?.”

“I-“ you begin to speak but he’s quick to cut you off before you could even answer him.

“You don’t have to give me an answer right now, just think about it and let me know when you’re ready.”

“I’ll definitely think about it.” You reach to give him a kiss on his cheek.

“Goodnight.”

What an eventful night, you think while walking into your apartment. Easily your feet shuffle to your bed and allow yourself to fall back.

Shotaros question leaves you confused. You wanted to say yes. It seemed like the obvious answer, and you would have agreed to his proposal the second he asked but the only thing standing in your way is Wonbin.

You turn in your bed and curl into a ball, taking the black garment beside you and using it as a pillow not noticing that it’s Wonbin’s hoodie until you recognize the large print written behind the hoodie.

Just as you throw the hoodie across the room there’s a knock at the door. It’s small and kinda shy so you think it’s shotaro and for the second night in a row you’re mistaken as you open to find Wonbin standing directly parallel from you.

You have nothing to say to him, you’re mad at him, you think. But you’re not entirely sure. You feel like you’re supposed to be upset and you’re supposed to be kicking him out of your apartment. You try to find the answer by just looking at him, but when you see him you see Wonbin. You love the man you see in front of you, and you hate that you do.

“Where’s your date?” You ask

“Probably at home.”

“Does she know you’re here?”

He invites himself in fully and closes the door behind him.

“I bet you'd like to know.”

“You were all touchy feely earlier, I’d think that you really liked her.”

“I don’t even know her name.”

“You’re a sick man,”

“You’re not any better, baby.

You knew you were just as bad. You were well aware. Both of you are using innocent people as pawns in this twisted game you liked to play.

“I’m not as bad as you.”

“So you don’t mind me telling shotaro about this?”

“Why would you do that?”

“Why shouldn’t i?”

He’s so close to you, that you feel his heat radiating on to you. But he’s not as close as you’d like him to be. That’s how you knew you were worse than he was. Because even with everything that just transpired tonight you wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him until you're out of breath. Until his lips are red and swollen, until you finally understand what’s holding you back from fully committing to shotaro.

The question goes unanswered when your lips are tangled in his, not an inch in between your connecting bodies. Only thing to pull you away from each other is when you hear a single ring from your phone, telling you that someone texted.

You know who it is, and so does he. But it doesn’t stop you from pulling out your phone to check the message from shotaro telling you to sleep well.

This isn’t right, you feel at this exact moment that this isn’t right. You look up at Wonbin, your eyes easily finding him. Thinking that maybe this will set you straight. But all it does is remind you of how you got here in the first place.

Within a split second your lips are back on his again, they never leave. Even as he leads you to your bed to lay you down gently.

“This is the last time we’re doing this, so you better make it count.”

“Yes ma’am.” Is all he whispers in your ear before he begins leaving kisses down your collar bone.

Mornings after spending a night with Wonbin were the exact reason that you kept this going for so long. There’s nothing in the world more comforting than the beating of his heart mixed with sounds of chirping birds and light of the morning sun sneaking into your apartment.

There once was a time when you’d swore you wanted to lay here for eternity. But something today is different, because with the birds chirping and the sun dimly shining and his arms wrapped firmly around you. It just doesn’t feel the same, you can’t tell what’s changed.

But you know that the more you lay in bed with him the more you feel wrong.

“You’re awake?” He peeks down at you with sleepy eyes. The ones you loved waking up to, at least you used to. You don’t know what’s switched in you, but honestly you don’t wanna know. Now you finally have the strength to end this cycle that you’ve started.

His eyes are trained on you and you sit up and lean against your headboard.

“You should go.” You didn’t mean for it to come out as a whisper.

“What?”

“I want you to leave.”

He doesn’t ask anymore questions but you can tell he’s confused. You’re watching him in silence as he slips his clothes back on and you grab one of your favorite oversized band shirts to throw on.

“Can I call you later?”

“You won’t get an answer.”

The room goes silent again, while he collects his shoes, wallet, and phone and makes his way to the door.

“Wait.” You stop him before he walks out.

It’s almost fun to you when you see him turn back to you with shadows of hope ghosting over his expression.

“You forgot this.” You tease,

walking to him with his black hoodie.

“Goodbye, Wonbin.” You reach to plant a chaste kiss on his cheek.

Nobody notices how your eyes are glued to Wonbin when he takes a seat directly across from you. He pretends like he’s so focused on what Seunghan has to say but you know that’s not the case because when he laughs he looks at you.

It doesn’t occur to you until now that this whole kind of breakup thing isn’t going to be easy at all.

“So Y/N how’d your date go yesterday?” Karina turns the attention to you. You feel all eyes turn to your direction and including Wonbin’s who’s looking you through his eyebrows.

“We had a lot of fun.” You turn to shotaro hoping that maybe it will take your attention off of the man sitting across from you.

“Did you guys kiss?”

“You know they didn’t, they still act like 2nd graders when they touch hands.”

“Be careful, she’s not as innocent as she looks.”

Wonbin laughs while looking at you.

“Wait what? Y/n did you finally lose your virginity?”

The question causes you to cough aloud. Sure you weren’t innocent, but you definitely did not want to talk about your first sex experience in public to all of your guy friends and especially not with shotaro and Wonbin.

“I um… yeah, remember I told you guys.”

“Oh yeah, the guy from earlier this year. That you said made you wanna baby trap him with how good it was.”

“I don’t think I said all that.”

“Mm mm you said more.”

“I remember cause she was like-“

“Okay, that’s enough.” You stop them. Not only because it was a topic you’d rather not talk about in front of shotaro but also because the man that you wanted to “baby trap.” Was Wonbin

“Whatever happened to him?” Giselle asked

“She probably got bored and dropped him.” Wonbin snickers under his breath, not even bothering to look at you.

“Well, actually. I realized that we weren’t good for each other, and that I needed to be with someone who was good for more than just sex.”

“Amen girl.” Giselle adds

“Aww and now she has shotaro.”

“Honestly it sounds like an upgrade. What a douchebag.” Winter says while looking down at her food.

“But let’s be honest? Do you even like shotaro?” Wonbin blurts out. It takes not even 30 seconds for you to jump up and drag Wonbin away from the table by his wrist to a place where the rest of your friends can still see you but none of them can hear you.

All heads are turned towards the both of you as you yell at him for his unnecessary comments.

“What are they talking about?” Winter questions

“Don’t worry guys, I can read lips.” sohee says

“Okay she said something about the weather.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” you ask frustratedly

“I just asked a question, but it clearly got you upset ” He smiles down at you.

“It’s none of your business.”

“Maybe not, but I feel like he deserves to know.” Wonbin gestures to shotaro who walks up behind you.

“What’s going on with you guys?”

“Nothing, we had a small argument yesterday and now he’s acting like a baby.” You answer shotaro while watching Wonbin.

“Do you need to talk it out?” Shotaro asks

“There’s nothing more to say.” Wonbin says nonchalantly while walking back to the table and grabbing his bag, throwing it over his shoulder while making his way past you.

“I’ll see you around.” Is all he says before walking off and leaving you and shotaro by yourself.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You look down and notice shotaro’s hand is loosely wrapped around yours. You don’t really know when it got there but you figure that that’s the reason Wonbin decided to cut the conversation.

“I’m fine, sorry about all that.”

After the entire incident with Wonbin you really only see him around campus. Neither of you are brave enough to talk to each other or at least apologize.

No matter how many times shotaro has explained to you that he didn’t find offense in Wonbin’s question. Or that he just wants you guys to work it out because he hates seeing his two close friends fight.

Part of you wants to just be honest with him and tell him what the whole fight was really about. But the rest of you thinks about the guilt you’ll feel when you see his reaction.

As far as the rest of the friend group went, things were pretty awkward. They’d only have one of you around at a time to avoid any blow up again.

As time goes on, the more you’re reminded that you guys had that rule about not dating within the friend group. And with each passing moment you feel guilty, because you never intended for things to get this far.

Even though this situation was extremely stressful you still had Shotaro’s question lingering in the back of your mind and with everything going on the answer seemed even clearer than ever.

Especially if Wonbin was no longer in the picture.

“So shotaro asked me to be his girlfriend.” you start

“It’s about time.” Ningning speaks

“When?” karina asks

“2 weeks ago, after we went to the festival.” you answer

“And what did you say?” giselle asks

“I didn’t give him an answer yet. He told me to think about it.” you respond

“What is there to think about?” winter questions

“I don’t know, we just had that rule about dating within each other and I didn’t wanna break it.” You lie.

“When we made that rule, it never applied to you and shotaro.” karina says, rolling her eyes

“Girl, two weeks is long enough to think about it, call him right now.” ningning says picking up your phone and throwing it in your lap.

“I can’t do that.” you argue

“Yes you can, and you will.” ningning states

“I’ll just text him.” you mumble

“No, you need to call him.” giselle says sharply

Ignoring them, you open your messages and begin to type out your message.

You: I’ve been thinking about it a lot. And I think I'm ready to finally be your girlfriend.

The second you send the text you throw your phone down on the bed. Hands shielding your face as if it could aid in the embarrassment you feel. The girls all squealed as the message was sent.

“Girl what are you scared of, he asked you.” ningning says laughing

“I know but it’s still scary, what if he changed his mind.” you say

“I’m sure he didn’t.”

Right after winter speaks you hear three bells come from your phone. To inform you that you got three new messages from shotaro.

The anticipation is killing you alive. On one hand you wanna know what he said and on the other you’re too afraid to pick up your phone.

“Girl answer the phone.” giselle says

“I can’t.” you say pushing the phone away from you

“Okay fine, I’ll do it.” Karina picks up the phone to read the messages. That’s when you finally uncover your face and watch their reaction carefully.

If their faces weren’t enough to tell you that something was wrong, the collective “oh.” Should’ve done it for you.

“What? What’s wrong?” you ask

“Umm you might wanna see this yourself.” karina says with a tight smile

They passed your phone back so you could see what was happening.

Wonbin: when you said you wanted to end things, i didn’t think this is what you meant

But honestly I’m glad you finally texted me, I really missed you.

I'd like to see how this works out

“Wow“ you sat there staring at your phone screen

“How did you even do that?” winter says, her brows furrowed

“I don’t know, I had both of their contacts pinned and I guess I accidentally chose the wrong one.” you stress

“Chose the wrong one?” giselle asks, her brow raised

“Wait, why would you even have Wonbin’s contact pinned? And what does he mean to end things?” karina asks, looking to the other girls

It’s true what they say. What’s done in the dark comes to the light. No matter how good you think you are at hiding. The truth always comes out eventually.

“Umm.” you trail off

You try to figure out how to say things while the four girls sit there waiting for an answer.

“We’ve been talking for a while.” you mumble

“Talking like how?” they start

“Did you guys have sex?” winter asks

“We’ve dabbled.” you mutter

“Literally what does that even mean?” ningning says, squinting at you

“Yeah.” you sigh

“How many times?” Giselle asks

“Uh like 3 times.” You’re not sure if it’s accurate but 3 is the first number that pops up in your head, and you start to nod your head when you see a couple of the girls nodding in agreement.

“Okay that’s not too bad.” giselle responds.

“A week.” You finish.

They let out a collective “damn.” Which told you that its definitely a lot.

“I didn’t know he had all that in him.” Karina says with widened eyes

“Oh he’s definitely got all that.” The thought makes you smile a little.

“Wait, you and Wonbin? As in the pretty boy who would flirt with a plant if it had eyes.”

“Yeah~”

“How did this happen?”

“I don’t know, I don't know one day we were just talking. Next day… he was in my bed. I thought that it’d be the first and only time but-“

“You just couldn’t stay away.” giselle speaks what you were thinking, causing you to shake your head in shame.

“How long have you guys been.. Y’know seeing each other.” winter questions

“Since like February.” you answer

“That’s 9 months.” Winter calculates

“Oh you sneaky bitch.” Ningning shakes her head

It takes but only a few minutes for other truths to be revealed.

“Is that why he blew up at the table? He’s the guy you wanted to baby trap?”

“Yeah.” You look down

“And you did have his hoodie on that day?”

You didn’t have anything to say for yourself, you were just ashamed.

“I can’t believe you lied to me. To my face.”

“She’s been lying to all of us.”

“Hold up… you said you had sex in your bed…” Ningning pauses “in this bed?” She points down gesturing to the bed.

“Yeah? Why?” Your question is answered when they all immediately jump off the bed and scream.

“Come on guys, I washed the sheets.”

“When’s the last time you guys hooked up?” winter asks

“Well I wouldn't call it hooking up, I’d say more love making, we have emotions between us when we do what we do.”

“Answer the question.” they yell at you collectively, you’ve always found it amusing how in sync they were.

“When I went to the fall festival with Shotaro.”

“Was this before or after he popped the question?” giselle asks

“After…” you say while looking to the side.

“Wow, you’re evil.”

“Poor shotaro. You’ve been cheating on him this entire time.” Ningning sighs

“We were never dating.” you say

“Yeah and you never will with this type of behavior.” She adds

“You and Wonbin? I’m still trying to imagine it.” Karina says

“I Can Girl, and it is not a pretty sight.” Giselle responds

The voices of the other girls are drowned out when you stare at the messages that Wonbin sent you. “I missed you.” Pops out the most to you. You bite your lip thinking about being exclusive with him.

While you’re still reviewing the text you see the text bubbles arise leaving you anxious to see what he’s about to say next.

Whilst going over the messages there’s a knock at the door. You along with all of the girls towards the door and they all turn to look at you.

“I think it’s your man.” Ningning teases

“God I hope not.”

“Well hurry and answer it.” Winter rushes you

Your feet drag towards the door, not really wanting to face him right now and especially not when you have your girls watching you.

However everything goes out of the window when you see his face. You don’t remember why you were fighting and start to question how you thought you could go without seeing him like this again.

“Oh guys, it’s wonbin. Ha ha.”

“What are you doing here?”

You don’t need to look to know that the girls are watching you like you’re on drugs. So instead of carrying this act on further you just stand back and let him in.

“Just.. come in.”

“You know what, now that I’ve seen it. I totally get it.” Karina admits

“Me too. They’d have the cutest babies.” Ningning exclaims

“Babies?” You question

“They’d be annoying too, please wear protection?” Winter adds

“Our babies wouldn’t be…” you stop when you realize what it is you’re saying. “There aren’t gonna be any babies.”

“Sure.” one of them say sarcastically

They all make their way to the entrance and start to leave. The last one to go is Ningning who looks at both of you one last time and says.

“No, you definitely chose the right one.” Before smiling at you and leaving you to answer Wonbin’s new set of questions.

“What’s she talking about?”

“We were talking about my apartment unit. I was questioning whether I got the right layout or not.”

Wonbin was right, you weren’t at all as innocent as you looked. Your ability to come up with a clever lie on the spot was a talent that you praised yourself on. All the practicing was really paying off.

“What made you change your mind? about us?” He placed his hands on each side of your hips and asked.

“Well we were talking and I realized that I couldn’t hide it anymore.”

Boyfriend Wonbin was completely different from hookup Wonbin. PDA was his love language, which you were still getting used to.

The campus is full of students just trying to go about their day and get to their next activity. You easily blend in as one of those fairly busy students. Just making your way down the campus field when you hear your name being called from behind you.

“Let me walk you to class.” He says while cuffing your hands with his.

You hesitate to answer.

“Um okay.”

As soon as those words leave your mouth his fingers are intertwined in yours. Now walking through campus just simply holding hands has your heart racing.

Constantly looking over your shoulder to see if there’s actually eyes on you or if you're just hallucinating.

When your relationship was hidden you imagined things like this, holding his hand in public for everyone to see. Claiming him as yours. But now that you had the opportunity you were paranoid.

You’re not sure what you’re scared of until you see the girl who’s name you never learned, talking with her friends right in front of your class

“Text me when you get out of class.”

“Yeah.. okay.”

You say while still eyeing the brown haired girl opposite of him. You don’t know her but you feel extremely guilty about what you’ve dragged her into.

you only pull your eyes away when he uses his first two fingers and guides your face towards him. “I'm right here, baby.”

“don’t call me that, what if they hear you.”

“hear what? me talking to my girlfri-“

the second you begin to hear the “g” word you push your lips on his to shush him up. it wasn’t the best thing to do but it just happened instinctively.

and now you were beyond embarrassed.

“I'll see you later.”

When you turn away to go into class he pulls you back and places a softer kiss on your lips.

“Study hard.” he cheers you on as you walk into the classroom.

“Do you have yesterday's notes, I left my laptop with Wonbin.” Shotaro nudges you.

“Yeah, of course. how is he by the way, it’s been a while since we talked.” you ask.

“really? I thought he said he was with you a few days ago?” he questions

“Umm, now that I think about it. We did hang out a little. I forgot about it for a second, sorry.”

“I'm glad you guys are getting along again.”

you feel it again, the guilt.

“I mean things are still a little awkward, we’re not that close.” You lie again.

“It’s still progress.”

It was definitely progress just not in the way that he thinks.

Your hour and 30 minute class felt like an eternity. With shotaro right beside you and wonbin’s former date in front of you, you felt like the walls were closing in on you.

The second class is over, you make a run for it. Quickly tossing your bag over your shoulder and scurrying out before shotaro or anyone else could stop you. But as soon as you step out of the classroom door you’re met with a smiley Wonbin waiting patiently for you.

“How was class?” he asks while slipping his hands into yours and swinging his arms back and forth.

You’d love to just sit and talk with him, but only of course in the privacy of your apartment. Not here where Shotaro could easily see you, holding hands with the one person that you just told him you haven’t heard from.

Wonbin observes when you gently pull your hand from his and back away from him. “It was okay, I’m kinda busy though now. So I’m gonna-”

“Wonbin, what are you doing over here? Isn’t your class across campus?” shotaro walks out with an unknowing smile hanging between his cheeks.

“To pick up-”

“He said he was here to give you your laptop back.”

You stop him mid sentence and wrap your arm around his shoulder to stop him from grabbing your hand again. You can feel the heat of Wonbins eyes watching you but you try to ignore it as you keep focused on shotaro.

“I don’t have it with me.” he says confused,

The two of them standing in front of you at the same time makes your heart pound outside of your chest. Scared that Shotaro might reveal that he asked you to be his girlfriend, or that wonbin might uncover that you’re his girlfriend.. So what would anyone do in these kinds of situations? Lie. You were already doing that a ton these days.

“That’s interesting, well we’ll see you later. Wonbin and I have a project to finish up,” you say in a hurry, pulling Wonbin away by his wrist before either of them could question anything.

Spending everyday hiding and lying to everyone was more tiring than you thought it'd be. But despite all of that there were a few positives to this relationship with your newfound boyfriend.. Things like sitting with legs horizontally across his lap while he goes over the notes for his history class.

There’s nothing to be said, it’s completely silent other than the sounds coming from the world outside of your apartment. You liked it this way. Just being in silence with him, skin on skin, heartbeats in sync. Your fingers playing in his hair out of habit, watching him carefully review the contents of his lap. When you notice a little black leather book hanging out of his bag.

“What’s this?” you say while leaning over to pick it up. Wonbin only looks up at you and then towards the book that you’re leaning to get and immediately he reaches to get it before you do.

“Just a notebook.” he says, holding it away from you.

“Well let me see it, it’s pretty.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Just let me see it.” you whine while pushing yourself further over top of him just to reach the notebook in his hand. By the time you finally get to the notebook, you let out a small giggle of victory. And run on the other side of the room.

The book isn’t too big, just big enough to fit into the palm of your hand with a small latch on the front and some small pattern art indented onto the front and the back. You don’t think to open it until he says “Okay, you’ve seen it. Give it back.”

“I’m not done looking.” you tease inspecting the book more, unlatching the hook to read the contents inside the book.

“Ooh Is this your poetry? I didn’t know you write.”

He’s talking but you don’t hear anything he says when you begin to read a random page of the small book aloud.

Fragile like a butterfly, soft like the petals of a healthy rose. You're stuck in my brain like lyrics to a catchy song. If you were a book I'd read you over and over again. If you were a movie I'd watch you repeatedly, but you don't have to be a book or a movie for me to enjoy watching you, reading the scriptures of your eyes like literature. feeling the texture of your skin as if you were made from braille. holding onto your hips as if the flesh of your body was the only source to eternal life. breathing in your scent as if you were made from the finest perfume.

cherishing you now, because I know I'll never find anything better.

“Aww you’re so romantic.” you tease again before finding another random page to read.

What do you call this?

the feeling I get in my stomach when I see you? the emotions I feel when you kiss me. the pit in my stomach when I see you smiling with someone else.

Is this what love feels like?

What do you call it when I start to smile to myself when I see something that reminds me of you.

when there's no one else in the world that makes me feel the way you do.

Is this what love feels like?

What do I do when you don't feel the same way? when loving you feels like self-inflicted torture. when you're both the remedy and sickness.

I hope this isn't what love feels like.

“Wait, is this…”you begin asking but trail off when you realize it's probably not what you’re thinking.

“All of these are about you.”

“Why?” you say the first thing that comes to mind, but retract shortly after you redirect the question. “I didn’t know you felt this way?”

You keep your eyes on him even as he stands up and walks over to you. “You really couldn’t tell?”

“How could I, when you’re always talking and flirting with someone new in front of me. Or that girl from the festival? You know you don’t really do a good job at showing people you care for them.”

“Okay so how do you feel?” he redirects the focus onto you.

“I really really like you obviously?” he’s looking at you but you’re trying to look everywhere else but in his direction. He’s watching you like he’s waiting for you to say something else, and you both know what he’s expecting you to say.

“I love you. I really love you. You don’t need me to tell you that.”

“I do, I need you to tell me everyday.”

By now you’re speechless. Not because you have nothing to say but because you have so much to say you don’t even know where to start. You could tell him that you’ve been in love with him for so long that it felt like forever or you could tell him that he’s crazy for not knowing how you felt about him. Or you could just kiss him, because that should be enough to say everything all at once without saying anything at all. And that’s what you choose.

As more time goes on you feel that Ningning was right. You definitely did choose the right one, there wasn’t anyone else that fit you better than wonbin. Shotaro was close but he just wasn’t the same. You don’t know what it is about him that you love, but being with him just puts your mind at ease.

you’d gotten more comfortable with doing a couple things in public. things like holding hands, and kissing. that is of course until you spot shotaro walking up, that’s when you pull your hand away and make up some silly lie that you have to get something from your car.

or other times where you didn’t have time to run away so you just have to push wonbin away and lie about his hands being sweaty.

you were getting more creative with the lies.

“today we should go for frozen yogurt.” wonbin speaks while swinging your arms together.

“ooh i’ve been wanting ice cream.”

“I said frozen yogurt…“

“oh my god what is that?”

“what’s what?”

“I think I just saw a huge rat run that way, we’ll just have to take the stairs.”

“a rat?”

“yeah it was huge, come on. this way.” you try to hurry and pull him away but he isn’t budging. still searching for the rat that you claimed to have seen.

“where?”

there wasn’t a rat, it was just sohee. walking towards you with a bright teeth showing smile and glistening eyes. like he always does.

“Hey guys.”

“Sohee~” you drag out his name, as he approaches you and wonbin. By now you’d given up on trying to break physical contact with Wonbin. He shifted his hand from yours to wrapping his arm around your waist, and rested his chin right on your shoulder.

“Have you seen Shotaro?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“Oh, He’s looking for you. By the way, how did you do in the history term?’

“I aced it.” you giggle excitedly.

“That’s my girl.” You blush when wonbin kisses your cheek as a reward.

“What about you?” Judging by his face you can tell that he didn’t do too well but you still wait for his answer giving him the benefit of the doubt.

“I think it’s time for me to find a new life path.” he trails off closer to the end.

“Oh come on it couldn’t have been that bad.” you say hopefully

“The professor told me to start looking for a new life path.”

“Oh…” both you and wonbin say at the same time.

“I’m thinking about maybe just starting my own bakery.”

“I didn’t know you baked?” wonbin adds

“I don’t, but I mean how hard could it be?” He finishes with a shrug of his shoulders

“You’ve burnt french fries in the microwave.” You remind him.

“I thought the tin foil would make it heat up faster.'' Sohee defends himself, but he really doesn't need to. You were there when Karina told him that putting foil in the microwave would save 99% of his time. And did he believe her? Well, yes. Yes he did.

“yea…” you start but you don’t really have anything to say. Sohee wasn't the brightest but he was adorable and he had a good heart.

“Anyways, I’m going to join the rest of the crew in the food court. You guys coming?” He asks

“Yeah, we’ll be there soon.” You answer.

“Kk bye.” he says while walking past you towards the food court.

—--

“Have you guys seen Y/N?” shotaro asks while sitting down at the table with his tray of food in his hands.

“I haven’t seen her all day, I don’t think.” Giselle answers while picking up her phone to see if you responded to the message she sent you earlier.

“Neither have I.” Ningning confirms while looking around the area.

“Did she come today?” karina ask

“I hope so, I asked her something a while ago and i’m waiting for her to give me an answer?” shotaro admits. His statement makes all the girls look at eachother, trying to come up with a way to cover for you without looking suspicious. Luckily just in the nick of time sohee walks over to the table with seunghan.

“Sohee, Have you seen Y/N?” Winter asks before he could even take a seat.

“Uh yeah she was with wonbin.” Sohee says without a second thought.

“Those two have been real close lately.” seunghan adds

Ningning, karina and winter all exchange looks while Giselle looks to shotaro to make sure he doesn’t pick up on what’s going on. “They’re not as close as you’d think.” she defends you

“Yeah, are you sure they were together?” Ningning questions, even though she knew the answer.

“Yeah. positive. I told her that shotaro was looking for her, and wonbin had his arm around her which I thought was weird but maybe- OW.’ sohee stops when Karina kicks him under the table.

“Are you really sure it was Y/n?”

“I’m very sure.” he says while looking around the table to find everyone giving him unbelieving stares. “Guys, come on, I know Y/n when I see her, I’m not stupid.” he looked around once again hoping that maybe someone would believe him but instead the table just burst into a collective laugh.

“Says the one who mixed bleach with ammonia and layed on the floor for five hours because you thought you were dead.” ningning giggles

“Says the one who thought Antarctica and amnesia were the same thing.” Giselle adds.

“Says the one who microwaved their fork and killed our microwave for the fifth time.” Seunghan comes in.

“What is it with you and microwaves?” Winter questions and causes the table to erupt in laughter again.

“Okay so I’m not mr einstein.”

“Far from it.” Suenghan says under his breath

“Like galaxies away from it.” winter mocks

“Oh come on? You guys have made mistakes too.”

“Yes, but none of us have put toothpaste on a cracked phone because a random youtuber told us to.” Winter responds

“I just know your guardian angels are stressed.” Karina laughs.

“Should I just call her?” shotaro speaks up and the whole table goes silent. The girls are trying to figure out what to say to keep him from stressing out too much over you, and sohee is still trying to think of a comeback that won’t get him clowned again.

“Yeah, or maybe just text her. She might be busy right now.”

You don’t know if “busy” was the word you’d use to describe what it was you were doing with wonbin in the janitor's closet, but you could definitely say you were too occupied to answer any phone calls, including one’s from Shotaro.

“Yeah, I’ll just text her.” he agrees lowly while pulling out his phone and shooting you a text. You heard your phone vibrate but you simply ignored it as wonbin continued to kiss you, pushing you further against the wall knocking down the brooms and mops beside you.

After missing 20 minutes of your next class you finally get time to read the messages on your phone. Which makes your heart drop, you wonder if you’re ever going to get to a point in your relationship where you don’t feel guilty for being with wonbin.

Taro:) : Are you busy?

Taro:) : Can we talk?

You don’t even know how to answer him when you’re right beside wonbin. Who’s watching you read the messages with a frowned expression written all over your face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks while reading the text on your screen.

“Nothing.” you mumble while clicking your phone off and placing it in your back pocket. “I just have to hurry and get to my next class. I’m not usually this late.”

“What does he wanna talk about?” wonbin asks, not giving you the chance to escape the topic.

“I don’t know. It’s probably an assignment or something.”

“Assignments don’t usually make you this upset.”

“I’m not upset.” you shout just a little, enough to startle the both of you.

“I’m not too convinced.”

“There’s nothing wrong, I just have to go before I’m even more late than I already am.”

“Okay then let me walk you there,”

“I’m fine going by myself.” while walking away, your steps come out more like stomps as you get away from him. You didn’t mean to take your frustration out on him, you just needed time to yourself to think. There was only a matter of time before Shotaro asked for your answer, and you just didn't know what you were going to tell him.

You just didn’t expect that time to be now, as you run tight into shotaro not too far from where you left Wonbin.

“Hey? You’re here.”

“Yeah, Sorry I’m really late for class.” you rush, trying to avoid eye contact with him.

“Can we talk on the way?” He stops you so you can’t rush off again. He’s looking at you like he really needs to talk but you don’t know how to say “No.” Already knowing exactly what it is he wanted to talk about. “We’ll have to talk after class, I’m already super late. I’m sorry.” You slowly run holding up your hands together as a way to say sorry.

You think you’ll find peace in your history lecture. Maybe learning about events that were completely irrelevant to you will make you forget about the web of lies that you’ve wrapped yourself into. However your thoughts are going a mile a minute, trying to think about how you’re going to approach Shotaro after class.

Anxiously tapping your pencil at your notebook, watching the numbers increase each time the minute changes and changing focus from the lecture to the small black notebook peeking out from under your other notebooks.

You’re trying to avoid its non-existent gaze on you, but it’s basically screaming “read me, read me.” so you obey. Slowly reaching to pick up the book and unlatch the hook. Going to read the very first page.

Being with you is like listening to the waves crash upon the shore's surface at night. Peaceful and calming, but I never know when the waves are going to crash too close. Serenity and excitement, you're like the different shades of green. like spring rain and winter snow, you're the beautiful parts of life that no one would ever want to live without.

Well that wasn’t a good idea, you think to yourself as you're now on the verge of tears in the middle of class. Yet it still doesn’t stop you from reading more confessions from the book. Turning pages as the seconds went by with more and more tears streaming down your cheek.

You find again that Ningning was right, not that you really needed any more convincing. But now it’s just too obvious, there’s no one else for you other than Park Wonbin and with that your mind's made up. Once you see Shotaro again, you’re just gonna be completely honest with him. No more lying, no more hiding and no more leading him on. You’re just going to tell him everything.

“Yeah sure you can come over tonight.” You smile at Shotaro.

Well that wasn’t the plan. It seemed so much easier when you were only thinking about it, but seeing his face light up when you called his name, and the excitement that lingered in his voice when he asked to come over got the best of you. That feeling of shame teasing at you once again.

So now here you are, alone in your apartment with shotaro. It’s funny to think that you were just here in this same place with wonbin the night prior. Actually funny isn’t the word you’d use to describe it, maybe more like nauseating. The way he’s looking at you, the way you wish it were your boyfriend here filling his place instead. The way you feel the words sit heavy on your tongue but you just can’t seem to say them aloud.

“I’m dating Wonbin.” you think to yourself over and over again. If you think about it long enough you’ll just say it eventually. But you don’t, it never comes out. In fact nothing really comes out. The room is filled with awkwardness, you feel it and shotaro does too. The kind of awkwardness that you’ve never felt with shotaro before and you don’t know how that makes you feel.

Well you know it doesn’t feel good, that’s for sure. You never wanted your relationship with wonbin to change your relationship with the rest of your friends and especially not Shotaro. But things happen, and it’s funny how they do. Because Shotaro was here first, you had a crush on him for the longest time, when did it change from you and Shotaro to you and wonbin.

“You missed it, everyone was making fun of Sohee and microwaves today.” Shotaro speaks up trying to cover the weird silence, but you don’t help when you only laugh lightly.

“Do you remember when he thought he had superpowers and could see at night.”

“And he fell down the stairs.” you finish his sentence off. “Yeah that was so funny. He’s so funny.”

It’s not as quiet anymore but god is it still really awkward. You know all of this could be solved if one of you addresses the elephant in the room, and you hoped it would be him because you just didn’t have the balls to do it.

“So…”

“Yeah.” you hurriedly speak, assuming what he’s going to say.

“There’s an art exhibit tomorrow happening near the school.” You can’t help the way your heart drops when he begins to talk. “I already got 2 tickets, hoping that maybe we could go together.”

“Fuck.” you think. That’s definitely not what you were expecting him to say, and now you’re trying your best to control your facial expression. This should’ve been the time for you to come clean, for you to just lay it all out. But you’re a coward, so instead you give him a small smile and agree to go on yet another date with him.

Was this cheating? You’re not sure but it’s definitely debatable. Going on a date with a friend that you knew was very into you while you had a boyfriend. But does it count if he wasn’t supposed to be your boyfriend in the first place?

It was wrong, that’s for sure. But to be honest, when have you done anything right? You see the way he leaves your apartment with a hopeful expression. Knowing that he’s gonna go back to his place and think about you.

And that’s the very thought that keeps you up all night.

“You look like shit.” Ningning says as she approaches you. She was right, you had bags under your eyes, you’d thrown on a random t-shirt and you didn’t even bother to fix your hair this morning.

“Thanks.”

“Sorry, I mean. Ooh you look like shit, what happened?” she says in a gentler, more sincere tone this time.

“I just couldn’t sleep last night.”

“Damn, ya’ll went all night?” she whispers this time.

“What? No. I just couldn’t sleep.” you choose to leave out all the details as to why you were up most of the night.

“Are you going through withdrawals?”

“Withdrawals?”

“You know…” she motions her arms into a humping motion “withdrawals.”

“Why is everything about sex with you?”

“I don’t know actually?” she turns her head to the side as she actually begins to think about your question.

“Anyways, what are you doing later today?”

“Shotaro and I are going to see the art exhibit?”

“You and Shotaro?” she asks with one eyebrow cocked up.

“Like a date?” she continues.

“I think that’s what he thinks.” you sigh.

“So, you still haven’t told him yet?”

“I just can’t find the right words.” your lips go into a pout.

“I’m. Fucking. Wonbin. Three words.” she says putting an emphasis on the first three words.

“It’s not that easy?” you throw your hands up.

“Okay so how are you going to tell wonbin?” she asks, referring to your date with Shotaro.

“Tell me what?” wonbin walks up behind you casually wrapping his arms around your waist and greeting your cheek with a kiss.

“Tell you about how much she loves you” Ningning gleams.

“That I have a date with Shotaro.” You state bluntly.

“A date?” he asks, pulling himself away from you.

“Well he thinks it's a date.” you add before he could get too upset.

“And I think it’s my time to go.” ningning says, pointing her thumb in another direction before sneaking off.

“Why does he think that?” Wonbin asks, and you could see that he was very obviously getting irritated.

You take your time to answer him, not knowing exactly how to put it.

“I haven’t told him… about us.. Yet.” you drag out, while playing with the hem of your shirt, and avoiding eye contact.

“And why not?”

“Well he asked me to be his girlfriend.” you admit looking to the side.

“And?”

“I still haven’t given him an answer?” you spill out yet another confession.

“Do you like him?”

“Not anymore.” you look up gaging his expression.

“Not anymore?”

“Well, to be honest. Shotaro had asked me to be his girlfriend, and he told me to think about it. And when I thought about it I figured that I should just be with him, because I didn’t think that you really cared about me so I went to text him but I accidentally texted you and now we're dating.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen. But I don’t like shotaro like that. I love you, it’s been you for a long time.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I’m really sorry wonbin, please understand.” you plead, reaching for his hand but he’s quick to snatch it away.

“Have fun with Shotaro, Y/N,” is all he says before he walks away.

Great, you looked and now you felt like shit. You really didn’t mean for any of this to happen, and now you don’t know what you’re gonna do. You also don’t know why it took this for you to realize just how much you really loved wonbin. Because seeing him pull his hand away from you and the pain in his eyes was enough to knock the wind right out of your lungs.

You’re walking with Shotaro through the exhibit seeing art that’d usually have you in awe, but at the moment you just don’t have enough energy to really care about the beautiful pieces in front of you. Just small hums here and there when shotaro expresses how interesting he thinks everything is. It only takes a few bland answers for him to finally stop you and ask what’s wrong.

“You seem down? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah…”

“What’s wrong?”

Before you thought of Shotaro as a lover, he was your friend. You used to feel comfortable telling him anything, and you missed that. Really because right now, you could use your friend.

“Wonbin broke up with me.” you let out, and he pauses before he says anything.

“What do you mean?”

“I haven’t been completely honest with you.” you say

“Okay?”

You wanna tell him everything, but you don’t know where to start. So, you start at the beginning. You tell him that the both of you have been seeing each other for months, you explain everything that happened after the festival, and you tell him about the contact slip up.

“Umm, wow.”

“I’m sorry I should’ve told you all of this sooner, I just didn’t wanna ruin anything.”

“So you like, really like Wonbin?”

“I do yeah.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Huh?”

“Go get him, go.” He rushes you off. And you listen to him, heading towards the exit with your phone in your hand, and Wonbin’s contact on your screen. You tried calling him a few times but it went directly to voicemail each time.

When calling doesn’t work you decide to just show up in front of his apartment. You had a game plan on the way there but everything went out of the window when you were standing there face to face with his door. You hold your hand up to knock but you don’t, instead you just keep your hand up contemplating if this is a good idea or not. After a few seconds you tap the door a few times with your knuckles and wait to see if he’ll answer the door.

When he doesn’t you knock again, and gasp when he opens the door on the second knock.

“What?” Is the single word that leaves his mouth when sees you.

“I told Shotaro about us,” You say quietly, hoping that it would be enough for him to forgive you.

“Us?” He questions, and that’s when you audibly hear your heart drop and shatter. Tears are threatening to fall and your hands begin tugging at your clothes.

“Please don’t do this Wonbin.” you cry.

“I’m only correcting the mistake you made.” He speaks bluntly showing no reaction to your tears.

“I already told you that I only want you. I only agreed to date him because I thought my feelings for you weren’t reciprocated.” you explain.

“How do you expect me to feel knowing that you never had intentions to be with me, knowing that you were going to choose him instead?”

“You can’t blame me for having my doubts,when before we got together you were flirting with every girl on the campus.”

“Only to get a reaction out of you.” he confesses

“Why would you do that?”

Wonbin had a horrible way of communicating, so rather than just telling you that he really wanted to be with you, he talked and entertained random innocent girls where he knew you could see him. Thinking that if you got upset you’d do something about it. Plus he loved seeing you get all mad and possessive over him.

“I don’t know, I just wanted to know how you felt.”

“I love you wonbin, god I really fucking love you. If you’re ever wondering how I feel just ask me. I hate seeing you with someone else-” You stop for a moment when you notice how he’s looking at you. His expression is very different from the one he had when he opened the door a few moments ago.

It’s softer now, he’s watching you like he can read the words that leave your lips. It's similar to the look he usually gives you when he's listening to you talk about something you care about, but this one is more intense.

“It makes me wanna rip my heart out of my chest.” you finish.

He’s not saying anything, and it scares you. Part of you wants to read his mind, find out what he’s thinking. And the rest of you? Well, you want to disappear.

“Please say something.” you almost whisper, feeling the urge to cry again after your first set of tears begin to dry.

Instead of saying anything he gradually gets closer to you while maintaining eye contact, and it has your heart racing because he still isn’t saying anything. The only time your heart calms is when he gently places his lips on yours and pulls you into his apartment by your waist.

This kiss feels different than all the other kisses you’ve shared, this time you didn’t feel like you were doing anything wrong, it was romantic and honest. Filled with passion and pure love, the kiss feels like the kisses described only in fairy tales.

“Does this mean you forgive me?” you ask when you break the kiss, smiling at his pink soft and swollen lips.

“I forgave you the second you knocked on the door.”

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chiiyuuvv · 2 months

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snacks and blushes ⋆⭒⋆ p. wonbin

𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩.. you accompaniment wonbin with some snacks

could be seen as idol!wonbin x fem!reader 0.2k words

▸ 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺?

The whoosh of the door opening and closing snaps wonbin out of his concentrated stare on his guitar, almost completely discarding it once his eyes landed on you. There you stood in front of him with that ridiculously bright smile on your face, (the type of smile that makes his eyes unconsciously light up whenever you're around) shaking around your bag of goodies with a little happy dance in one hand, while the other carefully sits down two cups of ice tea on a stool for a table.

“I brought some snacks, since I knew you’d be practicing,” you say with that grin he always adored, sitting down on the warm hardwood floor and opening up the bag to reveal all of wonbin’s favorite foods. You look up to find that he was already looking at you, and without any thought you gently grab his hand, luring him down to where you were sitting. You could see the small blush on the boy's cheek as he quietly obeyed, scooting over so he would be facing you, a smile playing on his lips as he opens up one of the wrappers.

It's nice to know that someone cared for you, sitting in this enjoyable silence filled with soft munches of the crispy potato chips you both knew you shouldn’t be eating. And whenever you’d look up, you’d always find the other staring at you; holding in your shared giggles as your eyes quickly bat away from the other in sync, a hand coming to scratch the back of your neck or to clear your throat.. just anyway to overcome the overwhelming blush on your cheeks.

︴bonus! this wouldn't have been made without @youneedsomeprompts prompts! i used this post and numbers 1, 5, 6, 9, 35, and 36. tysm!!

and happy wonbin day!!

▸ taglist 🎧 @starryriize , @cake1box , @wccycc , @babigriin , @soul-is-a-strange-kid , @riize119 , @yeosayang , @lecheugo , @addictedtohobi , @yuniniverse , @yinyinwon (welcome!)

🎬 navi

@chiiyuuvv on tumblr . do not steal works/headers/line dividers

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bambisnc · 1 month

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wonbin as hindi songs!

nashe se chhad gayi is literally HIS song like c'mon the french intro, the lowkey languid but upbeat vibes; you can't tell me you don't see him with his hair adorably messed up bc of the wind, in a spontaneous dance-off with you in public. there'd be crowds of people all around but his eyes would only be on yours.. <3

on the same note lat lag gayee oh my god <3 imagining him dancing to this at like a party or something and you know he's doing it for your attention.. the slightly coy, teasing vibes contrasting with the vulnerability in the fact that you know you probably shouldn't be thinking of each other in an un-platonic way, but you are, and he wants it to escalate is just so yummy to me

i know you want it but you never gonna get it tere haath kabhi na aani ITS HIM ITS LITERALLY HIM im not even explaining it further. even the khud se pyaar jatau part is so 🤌 LIKE yes he's hot and he knows it and he knows that everyone around him knows it

next we move to proper patola. consider the slow languid coded vibes. especially all the fem parts. it's so perfect for him. plus just the beats like those at the end and beginning are very fitting for some reason. also yk him being a fashion icon is super apt

bole chuudiyan. wonbin at someones sangeet performing to this. i'd die. the cutesy vibes and the lyrics are so just yes. the audience is literally all in love with him he's out here making the people getting married questioning their sexualities/decision to marry the person they're marrying

a bit different to all the above songs, but aaja sanam madhur chaandni mai. love 119 era him would eat this song up so bad. the pure heartbreaking yearning is so. So. you feel me? the guy's part especially. nah because i could write a whole thesis on this alone. 2 lovers lamenting the fact that they're not with their soulmate. singing to the moon in the hopes that somehow it conveys the song to their lover. do you see my vision.

notes : GONNA MAKE THIS A SERIES I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS GIGGLING anyw desi/hindi speaking briize hiiii <3 + [m.list]

[eunseok's vers]

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wonkibrainrot · 24 days

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Boycotting RIIZE means not to consume, interact, or steam any of their content and that includes not commenting on their posts or posts related to OT6. Why are “boycotting” briize commenting? “Boycott the next comeback” “Report the sound on TikTok” HB SIT DOWN AND AVOID THEM? MAKE YOUR OWN POST RESPECTFULLY? They are doing this backwards.

[pulled this photo from some ss on X]

Nowhere in the boycotting plans does it say to report their sounds. Yes OT6 siren was released and that it is very upsetting and worrying but that does not mean report it. READ THE PLANS AGAIN. Please use trending boycott hashtags with your own post NOT on non-briize and non-boycotting briize posts. Let them do the challenges.

RIIZE IS 7!

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prdx-invdr · 2 months

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୨୧⸝⸝﹕if you call me a fool, then i’ll be a fool.

SUMMARY! you’ve been in love with park wonbin since the day the two of you met and never found the courage to tell him. why is it that you find yourself yearning to confess the moment someone else comes into the picture?

PAIRING! park wonbin x fem!reader

GENRE! college!au, slice of life, fluff, angst (an attempt was made), friends to lovers, IDIOTS to lovers omg WC 8.1k

WARNING! swearing, jealousy, y/n likes wonbin an insane amount girl get up, insecurity, anton instigates like it’s his job and he’s up for a promotion, random female idol is mentioned many times (nothing against her!!), not proofread

NOTE! do u guys know what song the title is from lol.. LOL also i had another wonbin fic i wanted to post and deleted it bc it sucked so actually im posting this one as a coping mechanism

you don’t realize the way you’re staring at the back of wonbin’s head until a voice snaps you out of your trance. “do you know what you want?” shotaro asks you, waving a hand in front of your face.

currently, the two of you, along with wonbin, seunghan, and anton, are standing in line at a beverage kiosk. the latter, having already received his drink, stands to your right while shotaro stands to your left. seunghan recites his order to the employee while wonbin stands idly behind him.

“don’t even bother asking,” anton chortles, lips still wrapped around his straw. “she’s probably gonna have wonbin order for her, like always.” you lightly slap him in the arm after the words leave his mouth, eyes darting to the aforementioned boy standing merely 2 inches in front of you, hoping he hadn’t heard anton’s teasing.

“i didn’t even say anything wrong! he orders for you all the time!” the boy whines, jokingly rubbing his arm where you had hit him.

shotaro lets out a curt laugh at the interaction, knowing that anton’s words held truth to them, whether you liked to admit it or not. “it’s because she’s shy. right, y/n?” he turns to you, attempting to diffuse your embarrassment. one look at the smile on his face and anyone would be able to tell that his words were complete bullshit. the two of you knew that the real reason you liked having wonbin order for you was because you liked him.

however, for your own sake, you sigh and choose to agree with shotaro’s statement, only offering a small nod. “whatever,” anton mutters under his breath, walking over to seunghan who has his own beverage in hand.

now that you, shotaro and wonbin were the only people in line, shotaro grabs your sleeve and gently pulls you backwards, putting more distance between the two of you and the boy who was now placing his order. before shotaro says anything, you know what the topic of conversation is going to be.

“do you ever plan on telling him?” is all he inquires, his voice lowering to a whisper. you avoid his piercing gaze, instead turning to look at anton and seunghan, laughing in between sips of their respective drinks. anton is already nearly finished with his, you note.

when you’re done observing them, you shift your attention to wonbin, who has his arms crossed as he points at one of the cup sizes the kiosk has on display, indicating that it’s the one he wants.

you’re unable to see his face but you’re able to picture it better than anything. the way his lip quirks upwards in an attempt to be polite to the employee. the furrow of his brow as he asks a question.

shotaro sighs at your silence and finds it astonishing how you’re able to ogle wonbin without even looking at his face. that very sigh brings you back into reality, finally meeting the gaze of the boy currently interrogating you.

“he… doesn’t think of me that way,” you slowly tell him, as if the words would physically pain you if you uttered them too quickly. shotaro lets out a noise you can only assume was meant to be a scoff, but being passive aggressive simply doesn’t run in his blood.

“are you kiddi-“ shotaro is interrupted by wonbin holding a drink in front of your face, thus putting a barrier between the two of you. “here, y/n,” the long haired boy hums, not moving from his spot until you take the beverage filled plastic cup. if you didn’t have park wonbin tunnel vision, as shotaro likes to call it, you’d see the way anton is shaking his head and letting out a short laugh in disbelief upon witnessing the interaction. “called it,” he tells seunghan, who only blinks in confusion.

“i wasn’t sure which one you wanted, but i remembered that time we went to that other drink place and you said you really liked the strawberry one, so i got you that,” wonbin explains, holding his own straw up to his mouth. he says it nonchalantly, as if you could either finish the drink in about 5 seconds before proclaiming how much you enjoyed it, or you could throw it to the ground and curse at him for assuming the flavor you wanted, and he wouldn’t flinch either way.

“um— yes— yeah, i..” you stutter, and shotaro swears it takes everything in him not to slap his own forehead at your sudden jumpiness. “i like it, thank you. you didn’t have to, wonbin,” you exhale, holding your drink with both hands.

“yeah, well, force of habit, you know?” the boy laughs. “since i’m always ordering for you anyway.” his words cause you to tense and you can just picture anton’s shit-eating grin after he heard what wonbin said. “right, yeah,” you nod, wanting the conversation to be over with. the 5 of you continue walking throughout the mall, seunghan complaining about what a ridiculous amount of time you had all just spent at that beverage kiosk.

“force of habit is crazy,” anton decides to tease you again, earning another slap on the arm. “stop hitting me!”

besides ordering drinks for you when you hadn’t requested for him to do so, anton has noticed that wonbin also tends to subconsciously let you get away with… a lot.

he doesn’t even attempt to hide the way he rolls his eyes when he walks into the living room and sees none other than you and wonbin, the latter seated on the carpeted floor while you’re situated on the couch behind him, playing with his hair.

“i shouldn’t have come in here,” he mutters, barely audible. he’s unsure if he wanted you and wonbin to hear him, but your head snaps in his direction nonetheless. “hey, anton,” you greet him despite knowing that he’d have a lot to say about your current position. he nods his head in acknowledgement before pursing his lips. you brace yourself for whatever comment he’ll inevitably make next, morphing your lips into a straight line.

“you know,” anton starts, and you’re already holding back the urge to groan. “wonbin never lets any of us touch his hair like that.”

“right, because you guys are always so eager to play with my hair, huh?” wonbin quips sarcastically. anton shrugs, although wonbin isn’t looking at him. “so you’re saying if we wanted to, we could?” anton questions, moving across the living room to grab his phone charger, finally remembering why he had walked into the room in the first place.

“nah,” wonbin replies, “not sure why you’d want to, anyway.”

“i don’t see you questioning why y/n wants to do it,” anton insists, already making his way out of the room, pausing momentarily to hear wonbin’s response.

“she doesn’t need a reason,” his older friend says, “she’s y/n.” anton shakes his head and continues on his way. you resume treading your hand through wonbin’s hair as if nothing had happened, but unbeknownst to the boy sitting in front of you, your heart rate had increased at his words.

“he’s just jealous,” wonbin jokes. you only let out a short laugh in response. you wonder how he would react if you informed him that anton had actually sprung up that conversation because he knows about your tremendous crush on the raven haired boy.

“do you think you’d ever go blonde?” you inquire, changing the subject. he lets out a snort and tilts his head to look back at you. you’re grinning, trying to ignore the way your heart does somersaults in your chest.

“i don’t think the world is ready for that,” he laughs.

“what are we laughing about in here?” a voice sings from the door way, ripping your attention away from wonbin. you turn to the perpetrator and lock eyes with sungchan, who sends you a smile. you wave at him and he takes it as an invitation to sit himself down on the couch beside you.

“nothing much,” wonbin answers. your hands finally retreat from his hair and you miss the way his shoulders slump in response.

“right,” sungchan nods, turning his attention to whatever you and wonbin are watching on tv. in actuality, neither you nor him have been paying the television any mind for at least an hour, and only now do you realize that some sort of ocean documentary has been playing this whole time.

a few minutes of silence proceed before sungchan clasps his hands together and stands up from the couch abruptly, startling you.

“man, this has been boring,” he announces, eyes darting between the two of you, seated in the same positions as when he first entered the room. “do you guys even talk?”

“we were, actually, before you walked in,” wonbin mutters, not meaning for his words to come out as sourly as they do. sungchan raises his hands in the air in defense. “hey, my bad. i didn’t realize the two of you were having an ocean documentary date,” he retorts.

“we’re not having-“ you’re about to correct him, only for him to cut you off.

“but, you know, bin,” he says, “i’m not sure how sangah would feel about you having a movie date with another girl.”

you feel like your entire world freezes over the moment you hear those words leave sungchan’s mouth. you quickly rid your face of your crestfallen expression, not wanting to give yourself away.

“who?” you can’t stop yourself from asking, and sungchan just stares at you. wonbin waves his hand dismissively, shaking his head in annoyance. “shut up, dude.”

“wait, y/n doesn’t know about sangah?” sungchan asks, a genuinely confused look crossing over his features. “i thought you guys told each other everything.”

wonbin groans in irritation. “i haven’t told anyone, actually, because it doesn’t matter. you only know because you’re nosy as fuck.”

sungchan chuckles, and you would attempt to let out a halfhearted laugh if you didn’t feel like your chest was aching. you lick your lips and stare questioningly at the side of wonbin’s head.

“look, bro,” sungchan gestures towards you, causing wonbin to turn around and meet your disheartened eyes. his face drops slightly, and you’re not in the correct headspace to try and pinpoint why. “she’s upset because you didn’t tell her!” his friend chimes.

wonbin shakes his head, still looking at you. “she’s just some girl,” he huffs. “i don’t even know her that well.”

you scoff before plastering a wobbly smile onto your face. “i’m not upset,” your voice quivers and you hope that wonbin doesn’t notice it. you’re not sure why he decides to reassure you about sangah— whoever that is— but you pray that it’s not because he’s known about your pathetic crush on him all this time and is now feeling bad for you because he’s currently seeing someone.

of course, only your cruel mind could formulate such a sickening thought.

“i’m just.. surprised,” you conclude with an unconvincing nod. wonbin closes his eyes in annoyance, and you know it’s because of his intrusive friend standing in the doorway. “sungchan, just stop spreading shit around, alright?” he gives him a tired look, finally getting up from the floor. as wonbin makes his way past sungchan in the doorway, the taller boy gives him a playful slap on the shoulder. with wonbin having left the room, you find yourself looking to sungchan with urgency.

“who is sangah?” you plead, trying to keep your emotions at bay. the boy furrows his eyebrows, confusion settling into his features once more. “why do you care, y/n?” he asks. you know that his question doesn’t come from a place of mockery, but rather genuine interest. it hits you in that moment that sungchan, as smart as he is, happens to be absolutely terrible at taking a hint.

somehow, when it came to the long lasting feelings you harbored for one of his closest friends, sungchan was none the wiser. you surmise that he wouldn’t have teased wonbin so openly about another girl had he known about your feelings for the long haired boy.

that, you suppose, you can’t really blame him for.

“um,” you start, “he’s one of my closest friends.” your words are spoken through gritted teeth and clenched fists. “i’m just curious, you know?” the lie comes out easier than you think it should’ve.

sungchan hums, crossing his arms and giving you a curt nod. “just some girl,” sungchan tells you, repeating wonbin’s words from a few minutes ago. “yoon sangah. she’s in our music fundamentals class. like, 2 days ago, i think, she wrote her instagram handle on a slip of paper and gave it to wonbin right in front of me.” your face falls for what seems like the millionth time in the past 10 minutes. you can only offer the tall boy a nearly inaudible hum in response.

“do you think it’ll lead to anything? you know, between her and wonbin?” again, you can’t stop yourself from asking. you feel sick at the thought of playing into the role of ‘jealous, overthinking girlfriend’, and even sicker at the fact that you and wonbin aren’t even dating. what right do you have to be inquisitive about his love life?

still, you can’t help it. when sungchan takes a bit longer to respond to your question you fear you’re treading on dangerous territory, afraid that even the dense boy you’re conversing with may have cracked the code. the grin that he aims at you a few seconds later serves as reassurance that, no, he still doesn’t know anything.

“that’s a good question, y/n dearest,” he pats your shoulder lightly. “i guess only time will tell.”

you hate yourself for what you’re doing right now.

looking back on the conversation you had with sungchan hours prior to this moment, you recalled him mentioning that sangah had given wonbin her instagram. thus, like any normal person would do in your situation, you took it upon yourself to go through wonbin’s following list in an attempt to find her.

you scroll past your own account, past the accounts of your mutual friends, and a few people who you presume are some of wonbin’s classmates.

when you finally stumble across sangah’s account, your body fills with dread before you even see a proper photo of her.

judging by her profile picture alone, you can tell that she’s pretty. you’re fully looking at her profile now, and your frown only deepens. she’s beautiful.

you shake your head as if it would help ease your racing mind. she’s beautiful, yes, you think, but looks aren’t everything. you find yourself childishly crossing your fingers that sangah had the personality of an evil witch, so that even if wonbin fell victim to her physical charm, he’d be pushed away by her true nature.

you let out a quiet scoff. you can’t believe you’re sitting here thinking badly about another girl just because she might have a crush on the same man you’ve been in love with since the day you met him. in the same sense, you can’t believe that when you say that sentence out loud, it actually sounds a bit reasonable. you blame sungchan, for a moment, drawing the inference that you wouldn’t feel so insecure right now if it hadn’t been for his previous teasing.

you can’t stop yourself when you click on one of sangah’s posts. she doesn’t have many, but the few that she has have seemed to gather thousands of likes. despite this, you take note of the fact that wonbin doesn’t have any of them liked— thank god, you think to yourself. you start to analyze her photos, the faces she makes at the camera, the outfits she wears, the way her hair is styled. when studying her facial expressions, you wonder if she’s made those same faces while looking at wonbin. when taking her outfits into consideration, you wonder if wonbin has seen her wearing any of them and thought she looked particularly nice. whilst examining her hair, you resist the urge to rip out your own. it’s perfect. she’s perfect.

she’s perfect, and from what you can tell, you aren’t anything like her. so what does that make you?

you move to close the app, feeling filled to the brim with self doubt when you suddenly freeze as your phone vibrates. you hesitantly open your dms and your eyes widen as they fall upon the newest message.

[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: why are u awake

your heart races and you momentarily contemplate if wonbin had somehow set up a security camera in your bedroom without your knowledge because how on earth did he know?

you don’t ponder on the matter for long, the aforementioned boy sending another message merely a few seconds later.

[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: u have ur activity status turned on btw

exhaling a breath of relief, you type a response to him.

[3:03 AM] you: why are U awake park wonbin

[3:03 AM] 1bin_02: i just woke up like 5 minutes ago. my y/n senses were tingling and my unconscious body felt a disturbance

[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: kiddinggg

[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: but fr why are u awake

you hold your breath as you type out your next response, choosing to be daring. you decide that, even if it’s only for a few seconds, you’re no longer going to be a coward.

[3:06 AM] you: i was thinking about u

[3:06 AM] 1bin_02: ditto

[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: i know im amazing and everything but don’t let me stop u from getting ur beauty rest 🙄 jk

[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: gn dummy

you decide against saying anything else, shutting off your phone with a sigh. you are a dummy, you think, and the boy who had just given you that title has no idea that it’s all because of him.

you’re exhausted the next day, concluding that being awake at 3 in the morning despite knowing that you had a class at 8AM was not the best idea.

wonbin is quick to take note of this, poking you on your side as the two of you follow your usual route to your next lecture of the day. “i bet someone regrets staying up until 3AM, hm?” he doesn’t bother to hide his smirk as you swat his hand away. “like you weren’t up at 3AM, too,” you mutter. he clicks his tongue in response. “that was only for a few minutes,” he says, “who knows how long you were awake for, though.”

before you’re forced to dignify wonbin with a response, anton and seunghan walk up to the two of you, the latter offering a wave while the former only smiles.

“where are we headed, guys?” seunghan asks, throwing an arm around wonbin. the boy attempts to shrug him off to no avail. “anton and i wanted to go get drinks and we were wondering if you guys wanted to come with,” he grins before quietly adding, “and maybe also pay for them.”

you laugh and wonbin turns to you upon hearing it, letting out a playful scoff of his own. “can’t, y/n has class in 10 minutes or so,” he turns to the two boys who now have their eyebrows raised in apprehension. “that’s where we were headed,” he finishes.

“and you’re walking her there,” anton nods, his words posing as more of a statement than a question. you can only dramatically roll your eyes. wonbin doesn’t seem to pick up any undertones, only nodding in response. “i might be able to tag along afterwards, though. no promises.”

“well, anton,” seunghan sighs, turning to his friend, “we’ll just have to take shotaro inste-“

the boy is cut off by the sound of a girlish voice calling out wonbin’s name. all 4 of you turn around in unison, and you feel like your heart has physically sunken into the floor. sangah.

wonbin’s at a loss for words for a moment and you want to run away more than anything. you’re not prepared to see the two of them interact, especially after looking at her instagram page last night. “hey, sangah,” is all he says, a smile plastered on his face that pains you to look at.

the girl is practically beaming. “what are you up to?” she grins, her eyes not daring to look anywhere but him. his eyes flicker to you momentarily, who is struggling to breathe.

“i’m walking her—” he gestures to you and sangah finally looks away from him, eyes now trained on yours, “to class. well, i was, before these two showed up.” wonbin waves a hand in anton and seunghan’s direction, the two boys adorning matching confused expressions on their faces. nobody moves a muscle for a few seconds and you’re afraid that your rapid heartbeat can be heard atop of the pin-drop silence.

“oh! my bad,” wonbin clears his throat, “guys, this is sangah,” he gestures towards the girl, “sangah, this is… guys.” he gestures towards his friends. “and y/n,” he gestures towards you for the second time, giving you a tap on the shoulder for good measure. sangah’s mouth forms an ‘o’ and she reaches out to shake your hand. you’re positive that if it weren’t for the freezing hallways of your university, your hands would be sweating, so you silently thank whoever’s in charge of the ac for seemingly always having it cranked up to the max. you and the girl shake hands, her smile noticably brighter than yours.

“nice to meet you, y/n,” she says. “you, too,” is all you’re able to respond with, smile tight.

“nice to meet you guys, too,” she waves at anton and seunghan with both hands and they wave back, offering their own respective greetings in return. awkward.

you cough, attempting to break the silence. “this has been fun,” you press your lips together for a second, “but i’ve gotta get to class. hope you guys have fun at that drink place later, or whatever,” you trail off, the last part of your sentence aimed towards anton and seunghan. “and it was nice meeting you, again,” you add, making eye contact with sangah. she smiles. you don’t say anything to wonbin as you attempt to squeeze past him, but he grabs your arm. “i’m walking with you, remember?” he says. you resist the urge to look at sangah or anyone else in your vicinity for that matter, surprised at his words. this random girl who’s obviously into him is standing only a few inches away and wonbin still insists on walking you to class.

“it’s okay,” you shake your head, unsure. wonbin can tell that you’re beginning to feel upset and he desperately wishes that sangah and even seunghan and anton were anywhere but here. “y/n-“ he starts, you cut him off. “it’s fine, wonbin,” you reaffirm. it isn’t, though.

you begin to walk in the direction of your class and release a breath that you hadn’t known you were holding. deep down, you wanted wonbin to disregard your words and resume walking with you, leaving sangah and his friends standing in the hallway. but wonbin was too polite for that, and you couldn’t even turn around to see if he had continued to engage in conversation with the 3 of them because you felt tears forming in your eyes. stupid, stupid, stupid, you think to yourself.

unbeknownst to you, sangah was able to sense the tension in the atmosphere before anyone had even said anything to her. she kisses her teeth, scratching the side of her head. “i should probably go, too,” she tells wonbin. the boy can tell that she would’ve liked to talk more, but he wasn’t looking to become friends or even acquaintances with her. doing that would only give her the wrong idea, and he didn’t want to have any bad blood with someone he’d be forced to see nearly everyday in class. the boy nods in understanding, giving her a wave. “nice.. talking to you,” he bids her farewell, unsure of what to say, because whatever had just transpired definitely did not qualify as a conversation. the girl waves back with an unwavering smile, walking in the opposite direction you had gone.

“oh, man,” seunghan lets out a laugh he had been holding in, “that was the worst. please don’t ever put me through anything like that again.” anton silently agrees, cringing.

“is it just me,” wonbin starts, ignoring his friend’s remark, “or did y/n seem kind of upset before she left?”

anton stretches his arms slightly, eyes looking anywhere but at his dark haired friend. “wonder why that might be,” he muses under his breath, but wonbin catches it. “what do you mean?” he pushes, looking his younger friend in the eye. anton puts his hands in the air in mock surrender.

“anton, what the hell do you mean?” wonbin asks again, voice tinged with annoyance. anton shakes his head, “figure it out.”

seunghan watches his friends go back and forth, a bit confused himself. much like sungchan, he seems to be completely oblivious when it comes to the way you feel about wonbin.

you’re currently sitting in class wondering why you even bothered to show up.

you knew before you even sat down that you wouldn’t be able to process a single word of the lecture, your mind thinking over your first official encounter with sangah.

ever since last night, you’ve started to dread moments like these— none of your friends being around to distract you, leaving you alone with your own miserable thoughts. it feels as though each minuscule moment of silence is filled with your insecurities being pushed to the forefront of your mind.

what did they talk about after you had left? did seunghan and anton decide to leave shortly after, leaving wonbin and sangah alone? did they grow closer in the small amount of time they were left together? even worse, what if the amount of time they spent together wasn’t small at all? oh god, what if they’re still together right now?

had anton, seunghan or, worst of all, wonbin decided to invite sangah to their aforementioned drink hangout? your mind drifts to the image of wonbin ordering a drink for sangah, the same way he always does for you, and you feel like bursting into tears similarly to the way you had almost done so on your way to class.

and sangah— god, you wanted to hate her so bad. your prayers that she had the personality of a wicked witch were thrown out the window the second she opened her mouth. she was so nice to you. the guy that she likes had openly expressed that he wanted to walk you to class and she still smiled at you. she’s got the most perfect appearance and most perfect attitude and you feel like you can’t compete with any of it.

you check your phone for the first time in approximately 30 minutes, eager for a distraction. you’re dismayed to see only 3 notifications, one from the boy who seems the root of every current problem in your life, and two from sungchan.

[10:04 AM] bin 🫶: everything ok??

[10:16 AM] sungchani: hey

[10:16 AM] sungchani: we’re all gonna hang out on friday night (as decided by me just now) and u will be coming! (also decided by me just now)

you open your phone, typing a quick response to wonbin about how everything is fine (lie) and sending another short message in hopes of steering the conversation in a different direction. you open the two messages from sungchan, shaking your head as if he’d be able to sense your attitude through the screen.

[10:48 AM] you: who’s “we” exactly…. and what will “we” be doing

[10:50 AM] sungchani: don’t act dumb girl… me, you, taro, seunghan, anton and wonbin obviously. was gonna see if eunseok and sohee could make it but i doubt eunseok would wanna and i think sohee’s doing some group assignment lolol

[10:51 AM] sungchani: as for your other question i was thinking about going to the movies yay or nay? (say yay)

[10:51 AM] you: pass

[10:52 AM] sungchani: perfect see u there!

you don’t bother responding to sungchan’s final message, knowing that no amount of opposition from you would deter him. he’d probably drag you all the way to the theater himself if he had to. but you really don’t want to go, feeling drained from the thoughts that have been plaguing your mind ever since sungchan mentioned sangah for the first time. you’d much rather spent your friday night in bed, trying to give your brain a much needed break. maybe if you really felt like torturing yourself, you’d pull up sangah’s instagram once more.

when class ends, you’re shocked to find anton waiting for you outside of the lecture hall. he’s holding a plastic cup filled with chai tea, leaning against the wall leisurely as he sips through an orange straw. he doesn’t look in your direction, which confuses you, because you’re undoubtedly the reason he’s currently standing outside of your classroom.

“lee anto-“ the boy in question cuts you off by lifting his index finger in front of your face, still not looking at you. you scoff in irritation, not wanting to deal with his antics in your current state.

“you’re coming on friday, yes?” he questions, his voice slightly above a whisper. “not if i don’t have to,” you say, your voice at a normal volume. anton, finally looking you in the eyes, presses his index finger to his lips as if to indicate that you need to be quieter. “you do have to,” he nods.

you pinch the bridge of your nose. “why the hell are you whispering?” you scowl, and he keeps his index finger on his lips. you groan before reluctantly lowering your voice to match his, despite the fact that you still don’t know why he wants you to do so. “what’s going on?” you inquire.

“you have to come on friday,” he repeats quietly, “and you’re gonna tell dark star that you’re in love with him.”

you blink. “who?” anton leans his head back in annoyance before mouthing, “PARK WONBIN.” you recoil for a myriad of reasons. “first of all, i’m not coming on friday,” your voice slightly increases in volume, “and even if i was, i most definitely would not use it as an opportunity to confess to wonbin. and why in the world did you just call him that?” you finish, exasperated.

anton only sips his drink, his aura calm and collected. “you’re going,” he answers pointedly, “because if you don’t, dark star is gonna find out either way.”

your eyes widen and you feel like all of the air has left your lungs. “what do you mean by that? you wouldn’t actually-“

“i would, though. if telling dark star about your crush on him would get you to stop pining after him like a fool, why wouldn’t i? and, in addition,” anton fully turns to you, his voice raising to a light mumble, “i saw the way you reacted when sarah started talking to him earlier.”

“it’s sangah,” you deadpan. anton waves his hand dismissively. “not the point. with the way you acted earlier, you would’ve thought they were getting married right in the middle of that hallway,” he sounds concerned as he speaks the words, not looking anywhere but at you.

“i’m not saying that wonbin— dark star, i mean, has a thing for sandra right now. frankly, i don’t think he cares about her at all,” anton continues, “but if you’re that worried about some random girl taking him away from you when they’ve known each other for like, a week, i think that’s a sign that it might be a good idea to tell him how you’re feeling.”

you look down, letting his words settle into your mind. “i’ll come on friday,” you nod, and the boy in front of you smiles at your words, “but i have to give the whole confessing to wonbin thing a bit more thought. i mean, it’s kind of sudden.” anton’s advice actually made sense, you think, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to tell the boy you’ve been harboring feelings for all this time that you’re in love with him on a random friday night.

“sudden?” anton asks, breaking you out of your thoughts. “i think it’s long overdue. fire tornado hector thinks so, too,” he tells you.

you turn to him, dumbfounded. “where the hell are you getting these names from?!”

friday night comes in the blink of an eye and you’re standing in the lobby of the theater with shotaro, anton, seunghan, and sungchan. wonbin is nowhere to be seen.

“i told him 7PM sharp,” sungchan murmurs impatiently, checking his watch. shotaro turns to anton, jokingly hitting the younger boy on the arm with a laugh. “imagine he just decided to stay home,” he chuckles, “i bet y/n would be relieved.”

“why would she be relieved?” seunghan intrudes curiously. anton shrugs. “i told her she had to confess to wonbin tonight,” he says casually, as if he hadn’t just revealed your not-so-secret secret to an unsuspecting seunghan. the older boy’s eyebrows raise at anton’s words, his lips parting.

“you like wonbin?” he questions you eagerly. “dude, i can’t believe you didn’t know by now,” anton answers in your place as you press your lips together. “and we won’t be using the name wonbin when he arrives. he’s dark star. the codename helps when you’re trying to be discreet,” he finishes.

“yeah, because you know all about being discreet, right?” you reply, voice laced with sarcasm. anton knows that you’re referring to the way he had exposed your feelings for wonbin merely 30 seconds ago, avoiding your gaze as he whistles idly.

“sorry i’m late, guys,” the man of the hour exhales as he walks up to the 5 of you. sungchan studies wonbin, unimpressed. the latter can sense his older friend’s agitation, clicking his tongue. “you’ll forgive me once you find out why i’m late,” he assures, “look who i brought with me.”

you can’t prevent the way your heartbeat escalates, both at the mere presence of wonbin and the words that have just left his mouth. you’re unsure if you even want to find out who he’s brought with him, fearing the worst.

“sohee! eunseok!” you hear sungchan exclaim, excitedly making his way over to the two figures that have just entered the theater. he wraps his lengthy arms around both of them simultaneously.

“guess our invitations got lost in the mail, huh?” eunseok muses, returning his friend’s embrace. the three of them return to where you and the others are standing and sungchan scratches the back of his neck. “my bad, man,” he utters bashfully, “the movie we’re watching is pretty lame. didn’t think you’d be into it.”

“still, it’s an excuse to see you guys,” eunseok shrugs, turning to greet everyone else. sohee does the same, wrapping his arms around you before anyone else.

“y/n! it’s been forever,” he grins, you return it. “it’s been… 2 weeks,” you tell him, hugging him back nonetheless. “i still missed you, though,” you hum. “stop hogging him, y/n!” seunghan teases, “we haven’t seen him in weeks either!”

the two of you release each other, and when you turn, wonbin is at your side. he taps your arm. “why don’t you greet me like that?” he feigns jealousy, pursing his lips. you smile at him, hoping to mask your nervousness, “i see you everyday.”

he rolls his eyes. “that doesn’t mean you can’t miss me.”

“i always do,” you say absentmindedly. by the time your words register, wonbin is already grinning. “ditto,” he mutters, his words meant for only you to hear.

he turns away before you can comment, and eunseok takes his place beside you. he wraps an arm around your shoulders, greeting you. you think nothing of his actions before he leans down, angling his head so that it’s directly next to your ear. “i heard about healing michael’s plan,” he whispers, “the one about getting you to confess to dark star.”

“please don’t start this,” you plead, “i cannot deal with these nicknames right now. and how do you know about that?”

“um,” he starts, moving his head away from yours, “obviously healing michael filled me in on everything. just because we don’t physically see each other everyday doesn’t mean we don’t have a group chat.” he moves back to the previous topic, “he threatened to tell dark star about how you’re madly in love with him, right? he’s bluffing,” eunseok explains, “if you confess to dark star tonight, it should be because you really love him. not because anton frightened you into doing it.”

you nod at eunseok’s words, unsure. “and,” he continues, “it shouldn’t be about some other girl that might like him, either.” he takes note of the way your eyes widen a fraction. “yeah, anton told me about that, too,” he nods as you make a mental reminder to yell at anton later for airing out your business.

“what i’m saying, y/n, is make sure that you’re telling him how you feel, not for anyone else, but for you. well, and for him. and for you and him, together,” eunseok concludes, “don’t let healing michael or sandy get in the way of it.”

“it’s sangah,” you sigh, in awe of the fact that you’ve had to correct both him and anton. sungchan appears to have heard your final words, perking up at the mention of wonbin’s classmate.

“sangah? we’re talking about sangah?” he blurts out, turning to wonbin with a smile. “bro, we totally should’ve invited her,” he jokes, slapping his friend on the arm, “seeing her and wonbin interact in the theater would’ve been hilarious.” everyone grows tense at sungchan’s teasing— he was somehow still the only one unaware of your feelings for wonbin.

wonbin only shakes his head in response, his first instinct being to look over at you. you’re wearing that same disheartened look on your face as the first time you found out about sangah, and he can hardly breathe. his eyes narrow at the sight of eunseok’s arm still hanging off your shoulders.

“sungchan, when does the movie start? we’ve been standing here for a while,” shotaro states, attempting to alleviate the situation. “oh, we still have about,” sungchan checks the time on his watch, “ten minutes before the trailers even start playing,” he responds.

shotaro ushers the group over to the concession counter, quickly making some excuse about everyone needing to choose their snacks for the movie. “amateurs,” sungchan mutters, “who doesn’t bring their own snacks to the movies?”

wonbin finds his place beside you again, briefly studying your features. he notices the way you stand stiffly in your spot and the slight wrinkle between your brows. “hey,” he tries to get your attention. your eyes soften as they meet his that are flooded with worry. “i’m sorry,” he frowns, “about what happened back there. i don’t know why he keeps mentioning her.”

you’re puzzled and, yet again, asking yourself if he’s apologizing because he knows that you have feelings for him or if it’s because he still thinks you’re upset that he didn’t tell you about sangah sooner.

you prayed that he wasn’t apologizing due to the former, but why would he even need to apologize if it was the latter? if nothing was going on between wonbin and sangah, he had no reason to tell you about her. you press your lips into a tight line. maybe that was it— something was going on between them. that’s why he’s saying sorry to you right now, because he regrets not telling you before when you’re supposed to be one of his closest friends.

and that’s all you’ll ever be to him, because you were too much of a coward to confess to him when you had the chance. you think about how disappointed your friends are going to be once you break the news to them that you wouldn’t be confessing to wonbin tonight, or ever.

“don’t apologize, wonbin,” you quietly tell him, and he wonders why it seems as though you’re about to cry. he shakes his head, getting the sense that you misunderstood his words. he looks back at your mutual friend group, seeing that they’re all preoccupied. wonbin seizes the opportunity, grabbing your hand and taking you to a secluded area of the theater.

“please don’t tell me not to apologize,” he breathes, “because i have so much to apologize to you for.”

you’re confused and concerned, your lips parting slightly. you don’t have the chance to savor the feeling of wonbin’s hand still holding yours because you’re mentally preparing yourself for whatever words he’s about to say. this is it, you tell yourself. you stare at the ground, anticipating the feeling of disappointment and rejection.

“i like you so much.”

you stop breathing as the words leave wonbin’s mouth. you’re terrified to look up, unsure if you’d even heard him correctly. he responds to your unvoiced worries by repeating the statement.

“i like you so much, and i’m sorry for holding it in this long,” he says breathlessly, “i’m sorry for letting sungchan talk about sangah all the time, because i didn’t want you to think that i could ever like anyone else.”

he continues despite your silence. “and i’m sorry for telling you all of this in a movie theater, of all places. i’ve been psyching myself up for weeks, but i couldn’t stand the thought of you not knowing any longer. i’m tired of misunderstandings.”

he finally takes a deep breath, and you look up at him for the first time. “are you serious?” is all you’re able to say. you want to be 100% sure that your mind isn’t being as cruel as it normally is when it comes to park wonbin.

he nods, appearing to be just as nervous as you are, and you think that’s good enough of an indicator that he’s not joking.

“you fool,” you breath out in utter disbelief, not knowing if your words are directed at wonbin or yourself. the boy looks troubled for a moment before he hears a noise similar to a sob leave your mouth.

you hide your face with your hands. “i was supposed to be the one to confess to you.”

it’s wonbin’s turn to be silent now, listening to you rant. “it was this whole thing— healing michael, dark star.. eunseok knew about it, and shotaro..” you trail off. your words don’t even make sense to yourself, and you doubt they make any sense to the boy in front of you. “my god, wonbin— i’ve liked you since the day i met you!” you cry, hands still obstructing your vision.

wonbin hesitantly takes it upon himself to grab your wrists, removing your hands from your face. “do you mean that?” he asks, trying to meet your gaze.

you don’t look him in the eye as you continue rambling. “i was so scared,” you tell him, “sungchan mentioned her out of nowhere that day and i was so scared. i thought she was your secret girlfriend, or something.” you feel stupid for telling him all of this, finally admitting to your jealousy.

“when i saw her for the first time, i thought it was over,” you shake your head, “someone so pretty having a crush on you? i felt like nothing next to her. sungchan even told me that she wrote down her instagram and casually handed it to you— i’d kill to be that confident in myself,” you’re not even paying attention to the words leaving your mouth anymore, wanting to get everything you’ve been holding in out of your system.

when you finally look at wonbin’s face, he looks sad, which startles you. you’re afraid that you’ve just killed his mood with your venting. “i’m sorry— i didn’t me-“ you’re interrupted by wonbin pulling you to his chest, shaking his head at your words. “you fool,” he repeats your words from minutes ago. “i can’t believe you’ve been feeling that way about yourself.”

he keeps you in his embrace as if you’d run away if he were to let go. “i can’t think of anyone prettier than you,” he mutters, “or nicer, or funnier. or anything, really, because i think of you more than anyone else. i guess it’s my fault, kind of. i could’ve expressed it in ways other than walking you to class and ordering dumb overpriced drinks for you.” you let out a quiet laugh at his last sentence and he smiles, pulling away slightly so he’s able to see your face.

“i guess we’re both kind of stupid,” you conclude, earning a nod from the dark haired boy. “only when it comes to you,” he says, “i happen to think i’m very intelligent on every other occasion.”

when you finally regroup with everyone, they’re all wearing looks of disappointment on their faces. upon asking what happened, eunseok shoves a thumb in sungchan’s direction, the brown haired boy adorning a sheepish expression. “this fucker got the time wrong. the movie was at 6:15, not 7:15,” eunseok grimaces, “i better get a refund for my ticket.”

“you didn’t even pay for it,” wonbin says, “i did. sohee’s, too.”

anton, having been the first one to notice both yours and wonbin’s disappearance from the group, narrows his eyes at the boy. “and where were you?” he raises a brow, attempting to look intimidating. wonbin dismisses him with the wave of a hand.

before you and wonbin decided to rejoin your friends, you had to tell him not to hold your hand, much to his dismay. only after discovering the reason why, did he reluctantly agree.

you stand as far away from wonbin as possible, putting on a melancholy act. shotaro is the first to take notice of this, putting a hand on your shoulder. “did you tell him?” he questions, your silence serving as an answer in itself. eunseok overhears, looking at you with pity in his eyes.

when anton finally sees the distance put between you and wonbin, he concludes that you weren’t able to tell him about your feelings. he sighs, shaking his head.

as if on cue, you look at wonbin with determination burning in your eyes, beginning to advance towards him. the group is silent as they watch the two of you curiously.

“dark star,” you begin straightforwardly, “i’m in love with you.” wonbin tries concealing his laughter as he swiftly takes in the reactions of his friends. eunseok smiles knowingly while anton and shotaro are wide-eyed. seunghan wears an amused expression, sohee’s eyebrows are raised, and on top of it all, sungchan looks incredibly confused.

wonbin, keeping up the act, covers his mouth in mock astonishment. “did you guys hear that?” he turns to his friends, who are now all aware that they’re being pranked. “my girlfriend is in love with me!” wonbin beams, “metal blaze, i accept your confession.”

eunseok clicks his tongue, nodding. “metal blaze, that’s a good one,” he notes under his breath.

“alright, we get it,” anton groans, “it took you guys long enough.” he turns to you, unable to stop a smile from forming. “i hope you know i was never actually going to tell him myself. i only said that in hopes of scaring you into telling him.”

you nod, “eunseok told me that already. and it wasn’t me that confessed to wonbin— he confessed to me.” everyone is shocked at your comment, seunghan walking behind wonbin and giving him a congratulatory slap on the shoulder. you purposefully skip over the fact that you all but cried to wonbin immediately after said confession about how much you liked him in return, and he pinches your side.

“you know, when you guys disappeared, i made a bet with shotaro that you guys were probably making out somewhere,” eunseok adds, “he said you guys were probably just in the middle of the whole confessing thing. i owe him seven bucks now.” shotaro pats him on the back with false sympathy.

as the topic of conversation shifts to something else, sungchan’s jaw is still practically on the floor. he looks at the way wonbin has his arm around your shoulders, head practically buried in your neck. he can’t stop himself from blurting out his next words.

“has y/n had a crush on wonbin this entire time?!”

AUTHOR’S NOTE! congrats to u if u survived reading all that ohhh lord i promise i’ll make y/n less unbearable next time but for now u guys are just gonna have to find it in ur hearts to forgive me… also it’s 5am rn and idk if i hate this fic umm we’ll see if i regret posting this when i wake up tmr

#riize #riize x reader #riize au #park wonbin #wonbin imagines #wonbin x reader #riize wonbin #riize scenarios #riize imagines #riize fluff #riize angst #park wonbin x reader

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sweetberrei · 1 month

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MAGNETIC - park wonbin

SYNOPSIS 𓂃 ࣪˖ it’s not easy having a crush on the most popular guy in school. For starters, almost everyone had a crush on wonbin and you’ve already established the fact that you'll never get a chance with him, as you were no special from the others in your school... or at least that’s what you believed

PAIRING 𓂃 ࣪˖ popular!wonbin x fem!reader

GENRE 𓂃 ࣪˖ social media au + school au, reader is delusional, wonbin is in denial (in the beginning) she fell first, he fell harder(?), crack

CAST 𓂃 ࣪˖ winter of aespa as y/n, gaeul of ive, haewon of nmixx, eunseok + seunghan of riize, beomgyu of txt, gyuvin of zb1, etc

WARNING(s) 𓂃 ࣪˖ profanities and some insensitive (ex. kys/kms) jokes

STATUS 𓂃 ࣪˖ ongoing

START: 3/31/2024 ➜ END: ________

PROFILES ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 LEMONHEADS・BORN TO BE LOSERS

001・OMG.. WHO IS SHE?

002・I GUESS IM STUCK FOREVER BY THE GLUE

003・YOU'VE BEEN PROMOTED!

004・HE LOOKS SO CUTE WRAPPED AROUND MY FINGER

005・BUT I DON'T WANNA WIFE WIFE WIFE WIFE

MORE TO COME !!!

TAGLIST 𓂃 ࣪˖ @starwonb1n @lecheugo @sseastar-main @helovalley @scarfac3

@kyusqult @syupakingcowbaby @llearlert @artseah @wonychu @outrologist

@saranghoeforanton @callanton @seunghancore @4yyu @chiiyuuvv @snowysung

@bunni @istphanie @wonbicat @ahnneyong @addorations @brachioswrld

@fleurlia @the-second-sage @tywaa @ilovejungwonandhaechan

@jazminethecreator @renjuneoo @kcharlyy @20cubee @iloveleechanyoung

@haechansbbg @palchokitty @haechyuan @syzavxy @119ttoriz @marlilovesyou

@nctsshoes2 @alwayswook @enhacolor @ujisworld @nakam00t @chuutaroo

@ilovechanhee @planethyuka @lipsbyive @nishimuraii @riksaes @jiaant11

@ilamara @b-riize @dutifullyannoyingfox @dinosluver @111ada

@bbinababy @revehosh @forrds @notrosemary @coycoi

@nosungluv @tomo-tofu @whippedforbeomgyu @chweverni

@potatosoulp1h

<CLOSED, SORRY :( >

#riize smau #riize social media au #riize #riize imagines #park wonbin #wonbin #wonbin imagines #riize x reader #wonbin x reader #kpop smau #socmed au

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yangkitties · 16 days

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bros before hoes ✰ p.sh smau

synopsis > with the help of fukutomi tsuki, park y/n finally gains the courage to face their long time crush, the one and only, park sunghoon. park sunghoon thinks it's love at first sight when he sees her. paired up as the new mcs of music bank, shenanigans ensue when y/n learns about sunghoon's crush...

or in which... park y/n is an idiot with a big heart and park sunghoon is an oblivious fool [affectionate]

genre > smau + written, idol au, idiots to lovers, mutual pining, slight slow burn but not really, minimal angst, LOTS of fluff

warnings > constant and consistent cursing, probably terribly written 'angst', crack

featuring > idol!p.sh x idol!gn!reader, most of enha, bang chan of stray kids, tsuki of billlie, jooyeon of xdinary heroes, haewon of nmixx, chaeryeong of itzy, sunwoo of the boyz, wonbin & anton of riize (cameo) + wonyoung face claim in *some* places (there's only so much i can do, sorry-)

status > ongoing (150424-?)

taglist > OPEN! send an ask to be added. dms and comments will be ignored !

note > ITS FINALLY HERE 😭😭😭 i've been working on this for a while now and im SO happy to finally be able to share this with you guys!! shout out to my darling abby who beta read this and kept me motivated while planning, you're the BEST 🤕🫶

DO NOT SPAM LIKE !! | SPAM REBLOGGING IS LOVED :]

profiles > EN- | NEXUS | PRIVZ

chapters:-

prologue: bye bye akkong 01: the 'meet' cute (0.7k) 02: the announcement 03: you think i knew ??? 04: Big Reveal(s) (0.6k) 05: he likes WHO?! 06: new MCs in town 07: scheming and plotting 08: let me help 09: dance dance 10: great chemistry

more tba !

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mphountitled · 3 months

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݁ 𝟷𝟷 : 𝟷𝟷 - "Have My Baby," ft. Maknae Line

Ot7 x fem!reader

Summary: Riize asking you for a baby

Cw: nsfw, +18, established relationship, crack fic, breeding kink

Hyung Line vers.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆

─── ⋆⋅ Wonbin

─── ⋆⋅Seunghan

─── ⋆⋅Sohee

─── ⋆⋅Anton

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neocentral · 21 days

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Rating: 18+. mdni. Pairing: Park Jisung x Reader Synopsis: The night Jisung had longed for didn't go as planned, leaving him clueless and confused. Feeling desperate, Jisung decided to confront you. Word Count: 5.6k Trigger Warnings: noncon, manipulation, very brief self-harm mention (skin picking), recreational drug use (marijuana) Smut Warnings: unprotected sex, loss of virginity, biting, slight scent kink Warning: My tags are not exhaustive. Proceed at your own discretion. Note: I don't usually write full-length fics so feedback and comments are appreciated! Wonbin version (I am riizeblr!)

You weren’t answering.

It had been three days since he had seen you and all that came after was missed phone calls and text messages left on delivered. You couldn’t even be bothered to open them. Jisung didn’t get it. What had he done wrong? You were being so cruel to him, especially after he had bared his heart to you days ago, left himself vulnerable and at your mercy. And now, you were making Jisung feel unwanted.

You acted like it was unexpected, something Jisung also failed to understand. There was nothing unexpected about any of this. Jisung had been scattering hints left and right since he met you. Back when the two of you were experiencing the unfortunate changes of puberty, brace-faced and skin littered with blemishes. But even then Jisung knew there would never be anyone he would want more than you. And you had been reciprocating.

You had stuck by Jisung through everything. You complimented and consoled him when he was too afraid of his daily contacts and he walked around with his cracked lenses for weeks before he got his hands on new glasses that were just as unflattering. You defended him angrily, tripping the boy who had teased Jisung’s lanky stature during gym, making sure to laugh louder than anyone else on the field when his nose met the ground. You had jumped into his arms as he dropped his matching admissions letter onto your desk, your smile bigger than his while you expressed your excitement of experiencing the world alongside him.

That was why the lack of responses left Jisung in the dark, escaping into the depths of his mind trying to piece together what happened. The night was perfect for Jisung—all of it. The setbacks didn’t feel like much to him knowing that things had undoubtedly changed that night, outweighing the certain struggle that had occurred.

Clearly, you didn’t feel the same.

Jisung threw his head back, banging it against the plush headrest of his car, exasperated and exhausted. He hadn’t slept since that night. His bed suddenly felt much too big and his body felt much too cold without you. Jisung tossed and turned, rubbing his puffy eyes as he stared at the ceiling for hours until he couldn’t take it and he picked up his phone again to text you, hoping you’d finally respond.

He sighed, feeling his lip twitch while he opened his messages, staring back at only a fraction of his pathetic pleading for your attention.

Today 2:46AM

Jisung: are you feeling okay?

Missed Call (2) 2:58AM

Today 6:47AM

Jisung: you aren’t answering me…

Missed Call 9:17PM

Today 12:46PM

Jisung: love :(

Missed Call (3) 1:18PM

Today 1:27PM

Jisung: ???

Missed Call (6) 5:58PM

Today 6:14PM

Jisung: pick up the phone y/n

Today 7:24PM

Jisung: this is getting kinda old now, don’t you think?

Today 8:01PM

Jisung: hello???

Today 9:34PM

Jisung: 🙄

Delivered.

Jisung blinked at his screen, a thumb hovering over the keyboard again. His other hand sat on his steering wheel, fingers anxiously tapping. He looked up. All the lights in your apartment building were dimmed, but he knew you were awake. You never slept this early, growing paranoid as your neighbors slept. The silence made you anxious. The mental image of darkened hallways and the flickering lights in the elevator. The emergency door was broken too, left ajar and unwatched. Jisung had advised you to move out, sending link after link about vacant apartments in his building.

You’ll be safe near me… I won't let anything happen to you.

You always dismissed him. You couldn’t afford an apartment on his side of town on your own and he knew that, but something inside him wanted to tempt you into asking him to save you in some way. It’s not like you hadn’t asked him before. You used to call Jisung to keep you company over the phone. You would tell him how comforting his voice was, his steady breathing calming your heart. Jisung wondered if you were still scared. Who else would you call? Jisung didn’t like where his mind took him.

Is this how you felt? All those nights alone in your rundown home, alone and surrounded by silence. Jisung wondered what it would feel like to be comforted by you, this time. After the words exchanged that night you should be more than willing. But then again, he wouldn’t be feeling this way if it weren’t for you.

Slender fingers hovered over his keyboard.

Today 10:33PM

Jisung: pick up the pho|

Jisung: I’m serious y/n|

Jisung: I’m running out of patie|

No.

Jisung: you won’t like what I’m about to do|

Jisung bit his lip, eyeing the words he typed without hesitation. What would he do? He blinked as an idea flashed in his mind.

No. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

Jisung: please don’t make me|

Jisung: please don’t ma|

Jisung: please d|

Jisung: ple|

Jisung swallowed. Would he?

Today 10:34PM

Jisung: you’re being incredibly immature.

Minutes passed and Jisung felt ridiculous for feeling dejected at the unchanging delivered. He didn’t know what he was expecting. He sighed again and slipped out of his car, kicking loose gravel and glancing over his shoulder as he pressed a button on his keys, watching the headlights flash as the doors locked. Once. Twice. He sniffled, the freezing wind making his nose run, catching him off-guard despite seeing the condensation fogging his windows throughout the hours he spent in his car.

The metal box of the keypad was even colder. He hurried as he entered the code on the keypad to let himself inside. He doubted it would take much to enter even if he didn’t have the passcode. Jisung paused, shaking his hair out of his eyes, what if something had happened to you? What if you were right the entire time and there truly was something lurking in the halls? A farfetched theory, but he still found himself feeling guilty for growing frustrated by you.

The trek up to your door was familiar. The walk that would leave him feeling giddy whenever you decided phone calls weren’t enough, but this time, his heart clenched. Each step he took made him feel like he was walking closer and closer to something he wasn’t prepared for.

The wood on the edges of your front door was chipped and the layer of paint thrown on top was streaky and thin. Jisung raised his fist, three confident knocks placed to the center. Jisung took a deep breath, rolling his shoulders as he waited for the rattle of your weathered copper doorknob.

Nothing.

Today 10:58PM

Jisung: I’m outside

Read 10:58PM

Jisung’s breath hitched in his throat. The desperation to speak to you, and clarify the events of that night amplified. He tapped his foot.

Jisung: open the door

Read 10:59PM

Jisung sighed, eyes flickering from the dim screen of his phone to the peeling paint of your front door.

Jisung: please?

Jisung: ?

If it weren’t for the breath caught in his throat, Jisung wouldn’t have heard the light padding of socked feet against the wooden floors. He doesn’t know how you do it. It was impressive that you had adapted to the subpar condition until you learned how to navigate your apartment in total silence, avoiding every loose wooden panel, light on your feet that were never missing cutely patterned socks. Jisung can see the thick fluffy socks in his mind, their lining protecting your precious feet from the cold ground.

Jisung was the opposite. It was like he couldn’t get away from the weak spots. His feet made an ugly creak bounce off the walls as he gave you a sheepish look. You smiled and told him you didn’t mind, unafraid of a little noise with him around. It made Jisung feel good to hear you say that. Each time, his heart swelled even bigger.

“I can hear you,” Jisung said, cheek hovering next to the door. “C’mon… let me in.”

He knew you could hear the pout in his words. You knew him well enough to know what he was feeling without him needing to tell you. He knew you just as well, at least, he thought he did. He was still baffled by this entire situation, lost and confused.

Jisung waited and still, nothing.

Jisung felt his eyes narrow and a thump in his heart. “Open the goddamn door, y/n.” He scoffed, “don’t you think I deserve some sort of explanation? At least give me that much.”

“Jisung?” you said, nothing above a whisper.

Jisung felt his breath leave his lungs. Your voice. God, he missed your sweet voice. “Yeah,” a small smile of relief lifted the corners of his lips, “it’s me… open up so we can talk, okay?”

His teeth caught his bottom lip as he waited, trying to calm his nerves. This time, the familiar rattle met his ears. The copper doorknob began to twist after a few harsh pulls. Jisung used to joke about you getting locked in, a teasing grin directed at you as he told you that not all monsters lurk outside.

Jisung saw your hands first. Your nails were coated with chipped nail polish, the same color you had been wearing the last time he saw you. They were a soft pink, the shade doing wonders for the melanin in your skin. But, you had been anxiously picking at the skin around your fingernails, some bits pulled too far, leaving your fingers littered with sore, exposed flesh. It was one of your worst habits, one that Jisung actively tried to control. When his usual tactics failed to work, he would sometimes offer his own hands. He let you pick and pull on his sensitive skin just so you wouldn’t hurt your precious digits. Jisung grazed his fingertips, feeling nothing but unharmed skin.

His eyes followed the trail of your arm as it came into view, covered in the material of an old long-sleeve that you wore almost daily in high school. Jisung had fond memories of the time. Dimmed lights and hushed voices late into the night at weekly sleepovers, secrets shared beneath blankets, or morning strolls to school with a warm cup of hot chocolate Jisung had prepared held in your gloved hands.

Jisung almost gasped when he saw your face. His heart clenched, his hands itching to reach for you and pull you close. He wanted to pull you against his chest, letting you hear the steady beat of his heart to soothe you until you finally hugged him back, gripping his shirt like he would slip away. Jisung would never dream of doing such a thing.

Jisung observed your under-eyes, the skin weighted and dark in color. Even the shade of your irises looked dulled. It was clear you hadn’t gotten any rest, much like Jisung. You probably sat awake all night, brain wandering to Jisung’s skin like his did yours. You looked at him, pupils flickering around his face that didn’t look any better than yours. The effects of being apart were apparent. You needed Jisung as much as he needed you. Perhaps this time apart made you realize that.

You blinked slowly, lashes fluttering and brushing against your swollen cheeks. Your lips puckered, teeth beginning to nibble on the inside of your cheek. Another terrible habit. Jisung wanted to kiss you, distract your restless mouth with his tongue. He wouldn’t mind, already feeling deprived of the taste of your tongue.

He lifted his hand, ghosting it over your chin. You recoiled immediately, moving your face from reach. Jisung swallowed. “You’ll hurt yourself, love.”

“I know,” you said. “I’m sorry.”

Jisung knew what you were apologizing for. You were apologizing for gnawing on your cheek, not for all the pain you had caused him. That is what you should be remorseful about. His tears, his stress, his confusion.

“It’s okay,” his voice was soft, movements slow as he stepped into your home. “The last few days have been hard for both of us.” Jisung kicked off his shoes, gaze fixed on your face that held an unfamiliar expression. “Things will be better now that we’re together.” He approached you slowly, hands lifted to show that he was no harm to you. Jisung would never hurt you.

You looked down, fiddling with your harmed fingers. Jisung heard you draw a breath. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Jisung’s mouth felt dry, his heart felt heavy in his chest, and his brain paused, “what?”

Your lips wobbled, the breaths through your nose short and rough. “I can’t… I don’t,” you exhaled through your mouth, soothing yourself this time. “I don't want to see you anymore.”

It was Jisung’s turn to be silent. What do you mean? Why don’t you want to see him? What had he done wrong? What had changed? Aside from the obvious inevitable progression of your relationship. It was bound to happen, surely you knew that.

“Love,” Jisung began.

“Stop calling me that!” you snapped.

Jisung tutted. He had always called you “love,” it was nothing new. It was second nature to him and you had never commented on it before, you simply responded like he had called you by your name. To Jisung you were love. You were his love.

“Okay. Y/n,” he emphasized, “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say here. What do you mean you don’t want to see me anymore?”

Your eyes turned glossy when you looked at him, voice shaky, “you hurt me.”

Jisung frowned, “no, I didn’t. I would never. You know that.”

Your next words were hardly audible but your eyes were blazing. “I didn’t want you.”

Jisung couldn’t deny that it stung to hear you say that. That night had been so beautiful. Perfect. An unforgettable memory Jisung’s entire being wished to recreate.

The stars were high in the sky that night, and the noises of the city were inaudible as endless trees surrounded Jisung’s car. You were huddled in the backseat– together like you always had been and always will be– giggling uncontrollably with a stolen blunt in between his slender fingers. Jisung liked you best when you laughed. When you didn’t hold back the cheerful shifts of your face, when you didn’t cover your mouth to withhold your precious laughter.

Jisung held the blunt to your plush lips, raising a dark eyebrow to signal you to inhale the burning plant. You giggled one final time, placing your hand atop his knee as you leaned in, red-tinted pout wrapping around it. Jisung tried to look away from your lips but he was only met with the sight of your hazy eyes and heavy lids blinking up at him. You inhaled deeply, fingers pushing into his knee as you pulled away. Your fingers pushed into his leg as you held the smoke in your lungs, releasing a slow, teasing stream into his face. Jisung coughed, waving his hand in front of his face as you continued to laugh, face still close to his.

He wanted to kiss you so badly. You looked ethereal under the faint stereo light, a golden cast lighting one side of your pretty face as the other was painted with a starry blue hue. It was quiet aside from the instrumental buzz of Jisung’s playlist and the sizzle of burning bud. Then, Jisung’s breath as his heart began to thump. The longer he stared at your mouth the more his lips craved to touch yours that hovered so closely.

Before he knew it, his lips pressed against yours. It was nothing more than a fleeting peck, a graze of pouty lips against one another. Still, Jisung felt his heart flip, the drug-induced weightlessness flowing through his body made worse by his vibrating lips.

He couldn’t pinpoint the expression on your face when he finally managed to open his eyes but Jisung swears your eyes were conveying the same burning lust as his. What else could it be?

Cupping your face, Jisung pulled you flush to his puckered lips. He savored the feeling of your soft lips against his, every dry crack, and tasting remnants of strawberry lip balm. You had gifted Jisung the extra that came in the pack of two, playfully pinching his lips as you handed it to him. You need it, you’d said. You go around kissing girls like that? Jisung only laughed, keeping his head in place for you to hold for as long as you wanted. He never used it, leaving it in the center console for you to use when you got in his car as if you owned it, like everything that was his was yours. Jisung liked seeing the way you applied it, carefully circling your mouth with precision.

Jisung’s tongue carefully flicked your lip, thumb brushing your cheek as he did so. He still felt your hand on his knee, so close yet so far from where he craved your touch.

He caught your tongue when you began to speak. Words Jisung will never hear were swallowed by his eager mouth that took the opportunity to roam the inside of yours. He could taste it all, saliva tainted with the flavor of weed and the unfinished package of gummy worms you had carelessly thrown behind you after Jisung offered you another hit.

He moaned against your lips as he moved his touch to your hips, desperation getting the best of him. He yanked on your sides until you rested on his thighs, warm and soft and weighted. His hands roamed your sides, slipping up and down your frame as you tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling experimentally. Jisung whined, pleased with the sharp pain.

The sound seemed to take you out of whatever mindset you were in as you began to pull away from his kiss. Jisung, however, couldn’t get himself to stop. His lips traveled along your jaw and down the line of your neck, licking away the salty sweat caused by the heater Jisung had forgotten to turn off. He moaned against you, nosing at the wet kisses he left behind, hoping that by inhaling deep enough, he could smell himself on your skin.

You whimpered when Jisung nibbled on your collarbone. Your hands found his hair again, “Ji…”

Jisung shivered, cock slowly filling with blood after hearing the shake in your voice. Unable to control himself, Jisung sank his teeth into the side of your throat.

You jumped, pulling away from him. “Ouch,” you frowned, delicate fingertips ghosting over the area.

“I’m sorry, my love,” he breathed. Your lips were puffy and Jisung felt his dick pulse. “C’mere,” he mumbled, running his fingers along the hem of your shirt.

You placed your hands on his, “I don’t think this is a good idea…”

Jisung hummed, leaning in until his nose touched your chest, “yes, it is. C’mon, baby.” He inhaled your scent, “kiss me just a little bit.”

“No,” you squirmed, “we’re friends, Ji.”

“Friends like us kiss,” he reasoned absentmindedly. “Friends like us kiss and touch each other,” his touch slipped under your top, “make each other feel good. Make me feel better… I’ve waited so long.”

Jisung’s fingers reached the wire of your bra, pulling it up so he could slip his hand underneath. He cupped your breasts, groaning while pushing his face deeper into your chest, “so long.”

You shivered, “stop.”

Jisung didn’t, instead, he pulled your shirt up and over your tits, yanking on your bra until it stretched above your chest. Jisung finally opened his eyes, shaking his hair from his face as he stared at the swells of your chest, watching your nipples harden, aimed at his mouth like they were asking him to kiss and suck and pinch.

You gasped as his warm mouth wrapped around one of the stiffened buds, gently sucking. You weakly pushed at his shoulder, “too far… this is too far.”

Jisung felt his pants tighten further, cock straining in his underwear. You writhed on his lap, unsure if you wanted to pull your chest away from his lips or press yourself against his pretty face.

He pulled on the string of his sweats, untying the loose fabric and pushing it down his thighs hurriedly. “No,” he said, leaving a wet kiss on the valley between your tits while his fingers crept closer to your skirt, “not too far. It’s not too far. It’s okay, okay?”

You jolted, recoiling at the sensation of his dripping head against your clothed folds. “No! Too far. Let me go.”

Jisung made a sound, pained and slightly hurt by your resistance. “I can’t. I need you. Look…” You didn’t. You couldn’t. You couldn’t face the dim sight of Jisung’s cock standing tall against his toned stomach, leaking and ready to push inside your velvet walls as his eager fingers worked to push your thin panties to the side, exposing you to the warm air.

You shook your head, weak from the marijuana coursing through your veins. “I’m not ready,” you whimpered.

Jisung hadn’t thought much about the comment at the time, too focused on aligning his cock to your hole. You were too sensitive, dripping from brief nipple stimulation. You clung to Jisung as he pushed inside you, tense and shaking your head against his long hair, whimpering. You hissed, nails pushing into his shirt, mumbling in pain. But Jisung couldn’t bring himself to care, too entranced by the tight squeeze around his dick, your body pressed against his, your searing breath, whimpers, and whines brushing past his ear.

Jisung should have known. A part of him feels guilty, but another feels smug, proud, and satisfied knowing that he was the first to defile you. Tucked into the backseat of his car, warm, high, and loving.

He hoped you could feel it. The love in the help he offered as he made you ride him, the love in every thrust when he couldn’t take the slow pace and he laid you down, fixing your messy hair until it left your pretty face. Your wet face. Jisung told himself it was sweat that covered it. It was tears from feeling too good. Tears of joy. Anything but what he knew it was.

Though, none of that mattered now.

Now you stood in front of him, a fiery film over your devastated gaze. You crossed your arms over your chest, holding onto your shoulders, concealing yourself. Your hair was out of place, your face was devoid of makeup and weighed down by dark circles, and your lips were bitten raw. The same lips that wrapped around every syllable of the statement Jisung can’t get himself to believe.

I didn’t want you.

Jisung chuckled, the noise devoid of amusement. “Sure, you didn’t.”

Jisung watched your chest inflate as you inhaled, glancing at the wall behind his head and avoiding his eyes as they looked for yours. “I told you I wasn’t ready. You just took it from me.”

Jisung paused. It. You couldn’t even say the word of what he had claimed. Not taken. Claimed. It had always belonged to Jisung. Your virginity. Your innocence. Purity. Whatever you wanted to call it. It all meant the same thing. Jisung had gotten the prize he craved for years, shooting his spent into your clean cunt, cream reaching far inside you, filled to the brim with him. Your precious cunt had received him so well, too. Your body knew what your mind didn’t. You wanted him.

“I know that’s what you said, but-”

Your eyes snapped towards him, looking at Jisung incredulously. “So you did hear me? You just chose to ignore me? To…” you paused, the roll of an “r” dying on your tongue. “You chose to take advantage of me?”

Jisung frowned.

Your lips wobbled, “I was scared.”

“Maybe at first.”

“Excuse me?”

Jisung sighed, “you creamed around me, baby. You squeezed me so tight I could hardly move. You cried for me. Milked me dry.” Jisung licked his lips, the memory flashing behind his eyes as he blinked, “you wanted me.”

Your lips parted, closed, then parted again. Jisung could see the way your brain turned as you looked at him, but again, he couldn’t figure out what thoughts went through your mind.

Jisung took slow steps towards you, wood creaking beneath his feet, “I know you still think about it.” He reached for your face, “how good it felt to be so full.”

You turned your face, removing Jisung’s touch. He reached for your hair instead, pushing it over your shoulder. “My cock fit inside you perfectly, didn’t it?” he tilted his head, slowly inching close to the crook of your neck, nose brushing against the surface. Jisung inhaled deeply, your scent made his eyes flutter shut. Your damp skin dripping with the smell of your sweet musk and body wash.

You said nothing, breath hitching as Jisung’s tongue flattened against your neck, licking. You squirmed, raising your shoulder towards the side of your face, hands ghosting over his chest, but your intention was clear. “Jisung, please.”

Glancing away from you, Jisung huffed. His eyes found the pictures lining your walls, stagnant memories framed for all to see. Most of them featured Jisung. His favorite picture was meticulously arranged in the middle – Jisung’s doing, of course – the first picture to capture the attention of all who observed the crowded wall.

Jisung’s arms were wrapped around your middle, his head rested on your shoulder. His hair was longer then, tangled with yours as the wind blew ruthlessly. Jisung remembered how cold it was, the ocean sending cold air in waves that made bumps rise along your skin. Your smile was as wide as his, eyes bright and beaming as you looked into the camera.

“I love you.”

Jisung kept his eyes on the picture as he waited.

“I do, too, Jisung.”

“No,” he shook his head. He faced you, cradling your face between his hands again. “I love you.”

“Jisung,” Your shoulders sag, your gaze dropping to the floor, “please don’t make me say it.”

“Then don’t.” A lump rose to Jisung’s throat, “Don’t. Because you do.”

“I don’t,” you whispered, a tear slipping from the corner of your eye. “I’m sorry but I don’t.”

Jisung felt his heart drop, “you do. I can prove it.”

His plump lips moved towards yours, his hold on your face lifting it. Your lips wobbled as he inched closer, scorching breath fanning his face, “please, don’t do this again.”

The words made Jisung pause. You knew his intentions. The act of love was on your mind too. Only now, Jisung knew it wasn’t in the way he would have hoped. What was a tarnished memory in your mind was one close to perfection in his. Your mind still betrayed you, telling you that none of this was supposed to happen. Jisung was meant to sit on the sidelines, watching as you stomped all over his heart until his last dying breath because you were unable to see what was there. The comforting and magnetic air that flowed between you and him, uniting you.

Jisung had only done something about it. It was unintentional, truly. Jisung hadn’t meant for any of it to happen but it still had. Everything worked in favor of your unbreakable bond. Your bodies had fit together like puzzle pieces, perfectly made for one another. Jisung would be damned if he let that get away. Especially now when it was inevitable that you would never want to see him again. You already told him so. What you and Jisung had would be thrown away, discarded like none of it ever mattered.

Jisung had to show you how great it would be. No matter what lengths he had to go through to do it.

He had never thought of hurting you before. He never wanted to. But a sick part of his mind knew he had to. His body moved on autopilot like he subconsciously knew what he had to do. He was capable of what he never thought was possible.

Unlike the first time, the kiss Jisung placed on your lips was anything but gentle. His insatiable hunger led his lips as they moved against yours. He pushed himself against you, trailing his fingers down your shoulders. Your teeth clashed with his, desperation consuming him as he grazed your tits. His tongue slithered into your mouth, running across your teeth as his hands cupped your chest. Your mouth fell open as you gasped, giving Jisung access. His pink muscle slid against yours, the sensation making you recoil as you attempted to get away. A small whimper sounded through the room when your head thudded against the wall behind your head. Jisung chased your mouth, a moan muffled by your connected lips.

Jisung sank his teeth into your lower lip as he pulled away, moving his attention to your neck. “Jisung, please. We can talk about it,” your words were shaky and he felt the hitch in your throat under his lips.

“We already did,” he sighed, leaving pecks on your throat. “You won’t listen.”

“I will!” you said. “I promise I will! I’ll hear you out this time just please,” you flinched as Jisung groped your breasts, “don’t touch me again.”

“You won’t understand,” he mumbled, nosing at your shoulder, “but your body knows.”

His touch inched toward your pants, pulling the elastic as he slipped his hands inside. Your cunt was as warm as he remembered, soft and puffy against his palm as the pads of his digits dragged along your slit. Sticky wetness leaked from your hole. Jisung groaned deeply, nibbling at your clothed shoulder, “you’re so wet for me.”

You sniffled, thighs pressing together as he tried to insert a long finger. You shook your head, the action ruffling his hair. Jisung moved his knee, lodging it between yours. Your legs opened, giving him the freedom to move his hands the way he pleased. Your hole fluttered against his knuckle as he shoved it inside you, your gummy walls sucking him in.

“That hurts, Ji, please,” your chest heaved with every word.

“I know,” he whispered, “but I have to stretch you out first. You’ll be okay, my love, I promise.”

Jisung sucked on your neck as he inserted another finger, using light nibbles to distract you from the stretch in your core. He slid them in and out, pulling them apart to stretch you further. Your pussy clenched around his fingers, sucking him deeper. Jisung felt his cock jump against his pants, reminding him of the fire in his stomach and the desperation to feel you squeezing his hard dick.

Your sweatpants fell off easily, hitting the floor with a dull thud. Jisung was quick with his pants, shoving them down his thighs just as he had the first time, only this time, they also fell to the ground, his belt buckle loud against the wooden floor.

He caught your eyes, seeing the way they widened as he pumped his cock, his intention clear in his features as he watched you. Resistance followed, pushes and squirms against him only serving to make him harder. Your chest rubbed against his, fabric still between you but Jisung didn’t care. Your pelvis curved forward in an attempt to push him away but instead, your bare cunt slid along his shaft.

Jisung hissed, gripping your hips with one of his hands, pushing you into the wall behind you. His cock dripped with precum, the substance allowing Jisung’s fist to easily glide up and down his length.

Eager, he guided his cock towards your heat, using his leaking head to circle your swollen clit. A moan wrestled its way out of your throat, your arms stopping their flailing as he pushed his cock between your folds, quickly finding your fluttering hole that called for him.

“Stop it,” you said, attempting to sound firm but your voice still shook.

Jisung simply shook his head, forcing the head of his cock inside you. He moaned loudly, bliss surging through his being with every inch he pushed into you. You cried out, the muscles of your thighs shaking in exertion around his hips. He kissed your neck again, biting harshly as he began to thrust in and out.

Your fighting picked up, punches and scratches landing on his back but they all went ignored as Jisung lost himself in the feeling he had missed and craved so deeply. Your head banged against the wall in frustration, and helplessness as Jisung rutted into you. The sounds that left his mouth were animalistic, his mental clarity making the euphoric squeeze even better.

Jisung couldn’t resist nosing at the sore flesh that you scrubbed raw the second you stepped into your apartment again. Despair and frustration fueled the aggressive drags of a washcloth along your skin. The scent had begun to fade, melting into the aroma of natural musk and slight neglect. Jisung relished in it, unknowingly making his thrusts pick up speed.

Finally, your body seized beneath him, the muscles along your body tightening. Your legs finally stopped kicking, your nails dragging across his back until they fell limp at your sides. Jisung lifted his face, hips stilling as he leaned towards you until his nose touched yours. “Keep cumming sweet girl,” He grinned, eyes fixed on your face. “See?”

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