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mimiplaysgames · 3 years

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And There Are Storms We Cannot Weather (Ch. 3)

Pairing: Terranort x Anti-Aqua Rating: M Word Count: 3,303

Summary: Terranort baits her into following him—straight to Castle Oblivion.

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A/N: First fic of 2021 and I had to give it to the dark OTP. I spent weeks insecure about this chapter, but it’s thanks to @lyssala for reading through it and assuaging my fears. This is honestly the end of... the easiest part of this fic ljgfjlgfjfklgj I’ve really got my work cut out for me. Thank you all for your patience, feels like it’s been a while!

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My Worst Brings Out The Best In You

Waking up is nothing like how she remembers it to be. Soreness ruptures her back, and her skin jolts as she peels off of knuckles of stone that dug in all night. She barely remembers if she dreamt. What she really can’t recall is if there’s such a thing as a refreshing morning.

To top it all off, her ass is numb. Aqua groans when she stands up, stretching as hot gusts blow into the cave, throwing dust to her legs, caking the armor, nudging the shadows as they stir. Besides the wind rolling pebbles along, there’s no noise to enjoy in the Badlands, all the sun glaring down on bleached red sand.

The first thing she does is not breakfast (she must), nor a wash (she should), but to close her eyes, reading darkness. Maybe he woke up, too.

He did.

He’s here.

Aqua shushes her Heartless. They’re squirming, reacting to the way her heart is pounding. At the mouth of the cave, Aqua surveys where she should go. The Badlands splay out with endless sunlight, no shade to cover her except for a passing dust storm. It’s not a view she’d share with anyone; it’s the worst place to sneak around. She’d be like a marker with a giant arrow, her shadow stretching to grotesque proportions depending on the way the light hits her. If she’s going to titter around this exposed, she’d better make it count.

She starts by running then she fades away into clouds of smoke, magnetized to the nearest cool spot beneath a plateau, a stark, black slice across the dirt. Here she’ll recover and look for a different spot. As long as it heads in the same direction.

It’s after the third resting place, a tunnel cutting through a mountain, that she notices she’s heading towards the Graveyard. Well, if she heads west she’d reach it. But her gut feeling—a twinge in her nostrils—veers her slightly north. When Aqua steps out amidst a precipice, she spots a gathering of oddly skinny rock towers stretching to touch the sky. No natural force could have made them.

On each of these towers stands a cloaked figure. Different heights, different hierarchies, with hearts inexperienced, lost, angry, bored, apathetic. There’s one with a third mind. Regardless, they all reflect the image of an old man somehow, like a plague they’ve infected themselves with.

Ah, there he is, wearing black like all the rest.

She inches closer, melting into a shadow cut off by a boulder, peeking over the edge. On the tallest tower is someone she hates to recognize. The only one without a hood. Bald. Old. Breathing with the excitement of a bully crushing dirt into another child’s hair. He’s about to land something big and Aqua knows what it is but she doesn’t care anymore. She just wants him dead for stealing.

Xehanort waves a hand and Aqua ducks back. He couldn’t have seen her.

But when she risks a glance, most of the figures burst into a fire of purple and black, disappearing.

Except for the only one she wants, of course.

In the end, it doesn’t matter if they knew she was there. Aqua thrusts forward, gliding over the sand, flying up parallel to one of the rock towers until she gracefully floats back on her feet at the top.

He stands across from her, a field of what looks like ruins in the distance behind him. He takes off his hood and draws a proud smirk on his face.

“I’ve proposed they take care of you,” he says, proceeding to undress his gloves one finger at a time.

It’s a funny way of saying he asked them to get rid of her, and maybe Aqua should be nervous about it, but she tells herself that she can handle twelve nameless men. That is, until she thinks about their empty spots in this ritual circle.

Is this supposed to intimidate her? She has to hand it to him, he’s got spine. “Looks like they left you to do it yourself.”

There’s a flash—a knot at the edge of one eyebrow—of a shot of rage, like he’s about to chew her head off. Then he flashes teeth. He smiles too much.

“Then we shall begin,” he says, rolling his shoulders. “Mind a detour?”

Energy sparks at the tips of her fingers, readying a Keyblade but she stops short of summoning it. A detour? He’s not making a move. Aqua leads a staredown, watching for signs of what he’s plotting.

But he doesn’t plot. He steps backward off his pillar with that ridiculous gremlin smile as if to let himself fall. An inky doorway swirls open and swallows him whole.

Aqua bursts across the chasm, throwing herself into the same portal. She won’t lose him this time.

She lands on a muddy, brittle pathway suspended in the air, where clouds blot the sky so there’s no horizon to see. She lands on what could have been where she first conjured her very own Rainfell. Where she slapped Terra in the face that one and only time. Where she made love to him, where she picked up her Master’s abandoned Keyblade for the first and last time—it’s all erased here, ground and packaged into a single path where even the mountains eroded to dust. It’s worse than the Badlands. It’s home.

The castle stands in the same condition she left it in years ago: painted the color of stale, crusty shit and topped with a bright turquoise roof, like a surprise gift to give your worst enemy. Warped with upright towers, towers that jut out to the side, and towers that hang upside down, it’s disjointed and bizarre, a puzzle with mismatched pieces forced together. Which is exactly the point: let the intruder wander, let him be lost, let him forget and enjoy the oblivion.

He has thrown away his cloak at the entrance of the castle, Terra’s armor adorning his left arm. He has his back to her but there’s a tension in his shoulders as though he’s pretending not to notice she’s behind him.

There’s one reason, and one only, why he’d bring her here. Aqua readies the Keyblade.

“Like an animal,” he quips. She can imagine him snickering. “Always prepared to deal the first blow.”

She strikes. He dodges. She’s right—he is snickering, making a show of gripping the door handle like bait asking to get caught. “Stop,” she hisses. Which is stupid. Of course he wouldn’t.

Of course he’d turn the handle. Of course he’d glance at her, tilting his head as an invitation to come inside with him.

“You don’t have the right!” she yells.

He laughs, leaving the door open for her.

Terra. She could lose him today, forever. If they spend hours wandering the rooms of this castle, they’d lose memories with no way to predict which ones go first. The painful? The nostalgic? Either way, there’s no such thing as Terra and Aqua holding hands if they are gone.

Aqua tackles the front door before it slams in her face. It’s heavy, resisting her at first before swaying momentum and throwing her off balance. Instead of a grand entrance hall with a proud foyer, luscious stained glass displays, mirrored marbled stairways, and a warm hello, it’s just one room.

An empty blank room, so clean that she’s the stain, framed by polished sculptures and a rose dais she doesn’t recognize. It’s not like she had a design in mind when she transformed the castle. There’s no memory of where this came from, no record of it ever written. Not even from Eraqus, who had an idea and not a clue. She takes one step; it echoes like a screech. The white on white on white glare back. The walls stand like sterilized canvases, starched for a bleed of whatever color in exchange for a few of her thoughts. They know. This isn’t home. There’s nothing here. Just him.

“Lest you forget, this was my home, too.” He smiles.

Aqua nearly spits that it isn’t, wasn’t, never will be, but that isn’t true, is it? He’s pleased with himself, leaning on the door on the opposite side with his elbow propped up as though the castle is a casual friend he’s embracing.

“Now, isn’t this exactly where you would prefer me to be?” he asks.

“Acting like an idiot?”

“Somewhere familiar. Old family. Fond memories. A place to call your sanctuary.”

She shrugs it off. “Not much of a spectacle anymore.”

His eyebrows worm one by one. He’s lucky he has Terra’s face, otherwise she’d shave them. “But a spectacle worth revisiting.”

“There’s nothing left,” she snaps. “This place is empty.”

He strokes a finger on the door, a gesture that is halfway between Is that so? and Not so fast. “Except one room.”

Hunger churns in his eyes and she’s uncomfortable with the way he’s looking at her, like he’s about to drag her by her ankles.

“Don’t bother asking. It’s not like you’d ever see it,” she says.

His nostrils flare, surveying disgust as he scans the room from floor to ceiling. There’s a ferocity there, an ignition of something ready to deteriorate. Aqua settles for what’s coming, claws extending as they fasten her Keyblade. If she tears flesh today, so be it. It will only be a little.

How he gets himself to smirk the next moment is a secret she’d have to learn. “Then a bargain. The Chamber of Waking, and I won’t harm him.”

Aqua grunts and cuts an arc through the air with her Keyblade, firing a sphere of energy dark enough to absorb light. He blocks it with a wave of his hand and he chuckles like there’s not a day worth living if you’re not close to dying.

Summoning his giant Keyblade, he swings back, rupturing the tile beneath him as it cracks and crumbles towards her. She dodges, but an explosion bursts from beneath and knocks her off balance. As she turns over to stand up, he’s already looming over her.

They’re in a tight space, the walls knitting together and forcing them to take intimate strikes and forgo the fancy spells. Tinks and shears and blasts echo as though one hit is actually three, the sound of their blades bashing against each other. Her Heartless can’t form a congregation here. He doesn’t bother with his Guardian either, too cumbersome and clunky to maneuver inside.

He’s slower than her, but the close proximity means she’s running out of space to dodge his wide reach. Every hit he throws is the force of a boulder destroying a mountain as it avalanches, testing her balance, stealing the seconds that she needs to steady herself and parry the next.

She readies a spell. He blows the tile beneath them, an earthquake tripping her feet.

Every curse she scrambles with—a Sleep, Confusion, anything to throw him off—does nothing, as though he’s feasting on her efforts. She should’ve known better.

It’s fine. Aqua’s tough without her Heartless, tough without needing to trust anyone but herself. Glowing with an icy hotness that burns like frozen snow on exposed skin, she’s about to multiply—

“You will not,” he says.

He pummels into her like a canon, his armored hand around her throat as she collides back onto the door behind her. Not the front door, no—she’s foolish and distracted enough not to notice that he’s been circling her in this small, square room. He’s pinning her against the other, the one that would lead to Ven but wouldn’t. It creaks under the weight of her body and the pressure of his strength.

“I could lock you up in this purgatory,” he whispers, his breath brushing her cheek, her nose, her lips. Smiling. “Or you could take me to him.”

Aqua pants, her fingers scratching the surface of the door. The thought of being left behind—

Like choked breath, she stops the moment she sees the proud expression on his face.

It’s a bluff.

Calm down. He wants to scare her. It’s a bluff.

He needs her to get inside regardless, even if he doesn’t know everything. That you need the Master’s Defender at all is a secret only shared with those who wield it. He wouldn’t know. Despite how desperately she wants to dig her way out, Aqua keeps her chin high, staring him down. She scoffs through her nose.

His eyes twinkle as he reads her. Aqua tries not to lead him on with any assumptions. Keep it stoic.

But there’s something about the way she’s doing it that’s betraying her. She’s failing with every second that he blinks. “Ah,” he cooes, “you do not have the means—”

Claws into flesh—she pierces his wrist, right through the leather in between the metal, and he yelps. Pulls off of her. She closes the gap with black fire and cold fingers and the intent to rip an iceberg in half. He has his arms over his head, his Keyblade forgotten as he pathetically defends himself against a rabid monster flailing at him.

All she sees is the opportunity to take back. Priming a sharp hand over his face (and at such the perfect angle to peel it off his skull), she lunges forward and pins him under her. Reaches to his waist. Pulls the orange Wayfinder out of his pocket.

He yells and throws her off of him. His pupils shrink to nothing, his Keyblade burning with an unnatural color. He’s clutching his chest as though his heart is pounding too quickly and is about to plop dead. Aqua is on her knees, the Wayfinder’s chain threaded around her red knuckles.

Move. She needs to move while he towers over her, a trickle of drool seeping from his lips, his white hair messy. He’s manic, searching her and searching the floor and searching the walls, moaning. Aqua has to move. Aqua sits frozen.

Has he forgotten where he is?

Is this…

She whispers his name, barely audible.

For a moment, he stares past her. He growls and throws himself on her, the back of her head hitting the floor. Pupils so small his eyes are golden orbs, two little false lights in the dark, tempting you to go deeper into the fog where a monster waits. Like the Guardian’s, watching her take her last breath underwater. As though he knows no weapons, or no magic, he squeezes a fist around her hand, his fingers prying the Wayfinder out of hers with such strength that he could amputate them. Aqua chooses her fingers and lets go.

Once he has it back in his possession, he stumbles off of her, heaving and hunched over. With the Wayfinder to his chest, his pupils slowly grow back. Brows knitted, lips quivering, eyes lost. That’s not a face Xehanort would make.

Then he runs. He bolts down the terrace, disappearing in a cloud of smoke, leaving Aqua on the floor, leaving the doors open. Terra’s body is traveling like a shooting star. She can feel it propel somewhere in the far sky, where the stars hover above the clouds. She could follow him, fight more and more and more until she drags him to the ocean kicking and screaming and losing.

But it aches.

But she’s tired. She’s fought, and they’ve matched the same games over and over, with nothing to show for them except sore throats and scratched cheeks and defeated bodies slumped over floors like they weren’t dignified Keyblade wielders but wronged children.

It aches. It aches more than anything the Realm of Darkness threw at her, as though a hollow has cracked inside, collapsing her lungs into a pit of gravity and threatening to take the rest. If this is how it feels to be human again, why bother going back? What good is it to pretend that fate is kind and hearts are strong and one day he’ll realize what just happened and wake up with his blue eyes?

Instead, she should try to find Ven on her own, without her Master’s Defender. Her heart will lead the way, let her keep her memories. Or she’d lose it all, walking in circles, be the ghost that haunts this castle and create a legend that will keep her name immortal. It’s a stupid idea.

Aqua rolls over to her side, the tile underneath jutting into her hips and ribs. The doors he left open frame the outside, a dry and empty nightmare. She misses the sound of pattering, the smell of moisture, the promise of green every year. The Land of Departure certainly had its dreary days when the clouds were thick, but the light never dimmed. It would rain and all would be clear, the raindrops bulbous as they pummeled and exploded into miniature puddles.

Maybe the reason why the dirt is so rancid here is because rain never fell on Castle Oblivion. If she and Terra were caught under an onslaught, they’d continue to par. Water never stopped her flow and he couldn’t be bothered to slow down.

There was one obnoxious day when Terra grabbed her elbow and dragged her to the front porch, just under the awning in an effort to keep dry but it was futile—they were still pricked by frigid droplets. Beneath the rain, his blue eyes were less noticeable. His dark hair weighed heavy but it was thick enough to perk up if with less gusto. He smirked at her, and she knew what it meant.

She smacked his arm while he glanced through the entrance as he watched for signs of someone coming. If the Master, they’d be in trouble. If Ven, they’d have to suffer relentless teasing, and maybe pay off his blackmail.

When Terra was sure no one would see them, he went for it in spite of her whispered giggles and hushes. A warmth on his lips that burned on hers when the rest of her was cold, drenched, and shivering.

I wanted to know what you taste like in the rain.

He had tasted like water, a spring from the mountain.

She was close to Terra today. She’s sure of it.

Tied to her sashes is her blue Waydfinder in immaculate condition, glass stronger than metal with a vibrance that’s foreign to her.

It sits in her claw, blood red framing its brilliant shine. She’s done so well not to stare at it every time she felt nostalgic, but here she is now: a damn mess, with scales that cover skin, rough and pointed at the tips. Cold with layers of calloused leather that never molts unless she tears it off, building on top of her knuckles that folds as she retracts her claws, like there’s something slithering beneath. Her hands are now beyond repair, so thick that she’s unable to feel what she touches.

I’m ugly, she realizes, keeping her claws contracted so they don’t scratch the surface of her Wayfinder. It’s still pretty.

Dull stars float down to the entrance of the castle. Not stars, but a plethora of orbs, pairs of them as her Heartless pile on top of each other and funnel inside, squirming themselves free. It would have been easier for them to make a line. They’re silly, sometimes.

Something small butts its head into her—the six-year-old, scratching the tile as it makes space up against her belly. It lets her wrap her arm around it. Another Heartless nuzzles up to her chin. One sits at the crown of her head, and another nestles at the small of her back. More tack on, forming a seabed to let her rest.

It would’ve been lonely otherwise. The night seems flippant now, impatient for the sun to come up in a world where it can’t shine.

#terraqua #terraquanort #dark terraqua #anti-aqua #dark aqua #terranort #kingdom hearts fanfiction #kh fanfic #i'm taking so damn long with this fic #and it's such a rarepair #but I need to see it to the end so badly #my fic

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smallfrost · 4 years

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You truly believe that Raelle will still love scylla and want to be with her? 🥺 I need encouragement right now

My encouragement is that I truly believe that we are going to get a beautiful and complex set of character arcs for both Raelle and Scylla. This is season one folks! Please do not ask and hope for a story to be expedited just because we want some cute scenes on screen. We have fought so long and hard to get a real story for queer ladies on screen, I don’t want it to be cheapened in any way. Do I think the love is still there? Yes, I do. I don’t think it’s going to go away but I do think it would not do the relationship justice to just sweep everything that happened under the rug. Up until now, Raelle and Scylla’s relationship has really just been built on sand and lies. Those lies are now being revealed. I think Scylla really did fall for Raelle. But Raelle fell in love with someone she thought she knew and is now realizing that she might not really know her after all. At least not all of her.

Don’t get me wrong, I do think that ultimately, Raelle still loves Scylla. I don’t think that’s ever going to change. In fact, I think we’re going to see Raelle struggling internally over the fact that even though she was lied to and burned by Scylla, that she still loves her and can’t live without her. Raelle won’t want Scylla to be hurt or tortured or killed. She will take Scylla with her wherever they go because deep down, the love is still there. But they’re going to have to work through this. And I don’t think it’s going to be all puppies and rainbows, off into the sunset happy ever after by the end of season one.

And I want this for them so bad, because now we’re going to get the opportunity to see Scylla’s goals and motivations change. We want her to see that her radicalization is not the answer; that not all civilians are bad, and that there are other ways to save witches from the continued persecution they are facing. We want Scylla to acknowledge that what she did was evil and that she needs to work to regain the trust of Raelle, the unit, and us as viewers. If Raelle just forgives her and blindly trusts her again then everything is still built on sand. Raelle doesn’t get the personal growth she deserves and Scylla doesn’t get the opportunity to face her transgressions head on. We want this relationship to be build on a foundation of steel, pile-driven deep into the earth and the only way to do that is to have each of our girls have personal character development and then find their way back to each other. Will the love still be there? Yes, and maybe, hopefully, with an intense chemical lust they can’t ignore (they are soulmates after all and their duality will not cannot be ignored). But I am so ready to see this trust build over time because once it’s solidified.... not even the strongest blaster in the universe will be able to bring them down.

tl;dr: If they are all happy and perfect by the end of the season I may actually feel robbed and the relationship will be weak and doomed to fail. The love is real but give me them working towards learning to trust each other again instead of ignoring everything that happened this season. If I get all this with a side of undeniable lust from the chemical attraction they have for each other (re: I’m still mad at you, I don’t trust you yet, but I need you please never leave me again), I can die happy. otp: no matter what happens. Overall, they are endgame. Just, strap in and enjoy the gift we’ve been given that could last seasons and seasons and be one of the most epic wlw love stories we have ever seen.

#but like now we need guaranteed renewal so fucking bad #please please please I need season 2 through 10 #this show has given me life and we need more time to see this beautiful thing evolve #doc answers #mfs theories #motherland: fort salem #motherland fort salem #raelle collar #scylla ramshorn #raylla

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signofwolf · 3 years

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Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas – book review

Series: Throne of Glass #7 Genre: YA, Fantasy Theme: Fae, magic users, war Warnings: mentions of torture, imprisonment Star rating: 0,5/10

Why did I pick this up?: I wanted to end this horrible series once and for all.

[Heavy spoilers ahead]

To make myself clear, before this book I quite liked this series. It wouldn’t place in my top 100 books, not even close, but it was a pleasant pageturner to listen to in audiobooks when working.

Language

Let’s start slow. I lack the words to express how much I hate the words ‘male’, ‘female’ and ‘mate’ after this series. Not even gonna try to express my trauma. But these 3 gems aside, Sarah J. Maas needs a dictionary. Or compress her work to a manageable size. Everything sang, Everyone melted, Every man roared, Every woman trembled, Everyone was unleashing themselves at least once a chapter (number of chapters: 122) ). And now I know definitely too much about Yrene’s ‘womb’. I know so much…

Dynamism

I thought that was a book about a war with heavy action content. Oh boy, I was wrong. This 984-pages monstrosity has maybe 5 pages of action. If you squint.

Every sequence, where by design action should take place was followed by one of two scripts:

Few sentences of action and then a few pages long internal monologue. Often repeated with the same character after the next few sentences of action, or with the next character and then the next (sometimes the first character made a second appearance and then everything would go all over again). And the word ‘character’ used in these sentences is not because I’m rambling. This book is written that way!

Few sentences of action and then action stops, and we are graced by a few pages long conversation. In the middle of a battle. Or spying. Or in Erawan’s chambers, when his castle is going down, and he is running up the stairs...

Time

Leaving alone the fact that apparently all series took less than a year (till this book I estimated the plot for about 3 years, Wiki told me it was 2, but Maas knows best), because that is a can of worms in itself. Time in this one? I honestly have no idea. There were many ‘few weeks of travel’ parts with two main groups of POVs. Personally my only time indicator was ‘Orynth won’t fall till Aelin gets here’. But nothing just fit. And I saw Lost Song when in the last episode we as the audience realized that our two POVs parallel storylines are in reality millennia apart. Lost Song made sense.

Emotional loading

… there wasn’t any. Really, it was like reading a milk label. Every time the scene was potentially emotionally impactful, Maas went ahead to overexplaining EVERY. GOD. DAMMED. THING. And it was abso-fucking-lutely everything. ‘Emotional dilemma? Let’s current POV explain it! 2 pages should be enough… Damn maybe it wasn’t enough. I know! I’ll switch POVs and explain it through the other character!’ <= My impression of Maas’ thought process. I’m fairly sure that the record was 7 POVs explaining the same thing in the row, but I was blacking out a little, so I cannot be sure.

And if that wasn’t enough, this book had a second way to defuse tension: random-plastic-repetitive-badly_written-smut. Really badly written and really repetitive. How could you not feel the spicy bits, when Manon (cruel, self assured 100+years old witch-queen) reacts the same in bed as Elide (20years old, virgin, ex-slave). And the rest of them were the same, there weren’t ANY distinctions.Just copy-paste.

The next point in current case: Someone died, it was impactful, I really liked the character, so I got sad. But then 2 of our characters came out of the room with a body, and after a paragraph of grieving they started making out, and then I was regaled with 2-pages-long description of melting cores. That was the place then this book stopped being badly written, and started being distasteful.

Characters

Remember when I was writing about switching POVs (which is 15(!!!) In the whole book. Oh and an omniscient narrator in places when our current POV was grieving too much to overthink something, but Maas still wanted to inform us about something)? They were all savagely murdered in the worst way: character mutilation. Somewhere between books our maybe-not-that-original but colorful and interesting characters became carbon copies of each other. I have no idea how many times I didn’t realise there was a POV switch. The only indicator was a change of pronoun, or when Maas was telling us the name of a current narrator. These were the only ways. And if you can't distinguish if you are in Dorian’s head or in Manon’s, that is the sign of a really BAD writing.

Romance

…there wasn't any. In all this book there wasn't any naturally progressing romantic scene. There were Maas’ endgame pairings which were sexing or pinning. As the author Maas loves to write about soulmates. And it’s not a bad thing itself. When I want some fluffy story I often tag ‘soulmates’ in AO3 and voila, +10 to good mood. But God above, it is not cute when every pair you write about are ‘true mates’ just BECAUSE. It is the only way Maas sees a relationship, as a fated pairing, written in the wake of the universe by the God himself. There is no choice, nor the work to put in it. They are the author's OTP and that means that they are perfect and they should have children right now. Point in case:

Guy was treating a girl like a shit on his sole, including throwing her naked out of tent, on a snow, with their friends present, all the while abusing her verbally in a worst way. But it’s okay, because when she almost died he realised his mistakes and apologised. Two scenes later, he was forgiven, because... fated mates?

The pathos

I know that many people don't like this type of scenes, but it's not my case. I’m reading by picturing images and not repeating words. I like sequences that I can imagine to be grand and glorious, even if they are a little corny. That said, the pathos scenes were the most disappointing ones for me. Maas likes to write parts that are more picturesquely exalted than logically possible [point in case: meeting of 5 armies/forces in the random patch of sand in Empire of Storms, and it being painted as ‘an Aelin’s great plan’. I laughed myself silly at that. But not taking logic and all the plot holes into consideration that was a nicely looking scene. In Kingdom of Ash that wasn’t the case. I would say that the author wanted to paint us a renaissance painting every 20 pages or so. In my opinion, every time she failed miserably. Each and every of those scenes was or to farfetched to be even remotely realistic, and evidently written only for a sake of the picture, or just plainly stupid.

Example, and it’s so priceless a scene, that I just need to share it: Battle of Orynth, 25th day or so (time in this book doesn’t exist), the 13. sacrificed themselves (like thousands before them but hush). And then, time stops: grieving Manon is going through the city, they open the gates for her (yes, the siege is still on), she goes to the place where they died, after her come out all of our main heroes, and half the city itself with ‘flowers, rocks and precious possessions’ and they lay it there in a tribute to these brave (evil till 2 months ago) witches. I honestly can’t remember when was the last time I saw such an abstract scene. It’s a material for an essay in itself. No, I could not take it seriously.

Additionally, it's hard to make an impact as every damn sentence is grand and lofty. In the end it became truly pathetic, Aelin vs Maeve was unreadable.

Character deaths:

Let's make a quick count: main characters in a series at the start of KoA: 12 secondary characters in a series at the start of KoA: 20ish minor and total background: a lot more

Death count: main: 0 secondary: 3 minor: 2 (11 if we try very hard)

Resurrections: 1 (possibly 3, but not gonna analyze it)

Did you feel emotions of this impossible war against this all-encompassing, all-powerful, invincible, immortal, cunning Evil with armies from 3 continents and 2 worlds? No? Me neither.

Oh well, but there were a lot of deaths of ordinary soldiers. I’m quite certain that all of Terrasen’s army was at least twice brought back to life for them to die in these numbers.

Logic or lack thereof

Oh, and let’s not forget about the Deus ex machina army of unbeatable, magical elves on wolves, from legends, living for the past thousands of years in the unreachable lands of the north, because they managed to run from the surprise attack 10 years earlier. Did I mention that they came from portals, which the whole book was telling us were impossible to make in this scenario? After the previous saviour army was already fighting there for a day? And that Aelin didn’t know they would come for sure (how did she contact them again?)? Even though they were waiting in the full armours for these portals? Ah, and also: that army didn’t do anything. They just came and fought for maybe 4 minutes. And there were just so many things like that!

And if we’re on the topic of armies I present you: ‘My favourite absurd-list in the series: allied armies’.

(As a comparison, in A Song of Ice and Fire by J.R.R Martin, in 7 kingdoms of Westeros, at the peak of war there were 7 forces present, but not all were even engaged in a war.)

First the ones that made sense:

Armies of Terrasen’s Lords (counted as one, not gonna nitpick)

The Khaganate army (also counted as one)

Galan Ashryver’s armada

Whitethorn fraction

Rebel Ironteeth witches

…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’?

And there were some that did not:

Ansel of Briarcliff’s army

The Silent Assassins

Mycenians

Wild Men of the Fangs

Army of magical elves on wolves

And the ‘I don’t even know’ category:

Crochan witches

Overpowering and overreaching

Section title tells it all. The stakes were too high. I was honestly waiting for Aelin to become Super Saiyan and start to throw planets at Maeve and Erawan. I won’t spoil if this happened.

In my opinion it could be a really great series, if our list of villains ended with Arobynn and King of Adarlan, and the list of Aelin titles with an assassin and a princess. We could have had two main fight plots: one emotional with Arobynn, when Aelin would have to face a damage he had done to her, and overcome it. And the second one, with freeing Terrasen from Adarlan’s rule. That’s it. There was an asshole, power hungry king, who feared magic and wanted to rule the East part of a continent. A lot of plot, but not so much that we stopped to care, or didn’t have time to cover everything. We could really get to know what Terrasen and his people were like and not JUST GET TOLD that it was ‘the greatest place in the world’ every damn 20 pages.

Plus…should Dorian be counted as an ‘army’? It's a REALLY valid question.

Climaxes

IIf I have to write a list of things that disappointed me in this book, this review would be thrice its current size, but one of the worst grievances I have is the complete lack of acknowledging the plotlines that had been started. This book series has overall 4 372 pages (not counting novellas) and 12 main characters (still not gonna address this). All of them had their storylines and arcs but if they weren't tied up in the previous instalments they wouldn’t be in this one. I get it, Maeve and Erawan got beaten (in an extremely unsatisfactory way) but they were only a background in this series' plots.

Aelin Well, Aelin was one of 3 people (+2 paragraf-long insertion from Nesryn and Chaol) who got their own POV’s after the battle (second was technically Rowan, who was ‘Aelin’s POV outside of Aelin’.The third Dorian, who got almost a full two pages). And from this we got that: she got crowned, Aedion got his bond and that Maas have no idea how the city looks after weeks of siege. In her case what angered me the most was ‘Terrasen is my home’ subplot. Only in this tome we read at least 3 times that Aelin will be okay with dying, if only she gets to see Terrasen one last time, or if she get to die on Terrassen soil. But you know what? Maas forgot to write the scene where Aelin actually ‘comes in’.

Mannon Didn't get her own POV after the battle, but here’s what we’ve got: She is going to the Wastes with Croachans and Ironteeth. Whait. What? Yes, that was the ending of this 500+ years of feud. They fought together and they decided to unite their two species, completely forgetting more than half a millenia of slaughter. I can only hope that there were at least some talks behind the scenes… NO! F*** NO! This isn’t how it works!

Rowan, Dorian, Chaol, Yrene, Lysandra, Aedion, Lorcan, Elide, Nesryn, Sartaq Lived happily ever after

Secondary minor and total background characters Survived (I acknowledge that they would be ignored in most books’ epilogues, but this abomination is almost 1000 pages of nothing!!).

Good Scenes

That saying, this book actually had 4 good scenes:

Crochan witches go to war - gathering-forces-to-fight trope, which is my *love-always trope* so I’m not even sure if it was relatively good, or if I’m just a slut for this trope. It was still only a paragraph long though.

[recurring] The children’s tale Aelin repeated to herself to remember who she is.

‘Lorcan Lochan’ - the only marginally funny scene in the whole book

I actually found Darrel making Evangeline his heir charming. Even if circumstances were far-fetched at least.

But the words crime of this book? It was agonisingly, mind-numbingly boring. If the overexplaining and repetitions were to be taken out I highly doubt that there would be 300 pages left.

For these 33 hours of audiobook I suffered through I give it half a star. Because Abraxos exist.

Please see my garishly accurate cover on my instagram! You can also like it there :D

instagram | goodreads

#book #book review #bookworm #review #signofwolf-book_review #opinion #throne of glass #throne of glass series #throne of glass spoilers #sarah j maas #kingdom of ash #aelin galythinius #mary sunderland #tog #fantasy #fandom

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emerald-amidst-gold · 3 years

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2,18, 23 for OTP established relationship asks, please!

Time to talk about two dummies again! *sighs wistfully* Thank you so much for the ask~ I love these two so much~ X3

2. What are the little arguments that come up over and over again but never really cause a big bust up?

So, I wrote a quick drabble on another ask a few weeks ago, and it was about how Fane likes to...jump from high points around Skyhold. As time goes on, Fane reconnects more and more with the draconic side of himself, and thus, he wants to see how far he can tap into those buried sides.

Sadly, Fane will never regain his draconic body because the one he has now is the same as when he was a dragon. Whether the absence of the Veil will allow him to actually regain that side...who knows? *winks*

However, that doesn't stop him from dropping from the rookery, feet first onto Solas' desk while the man is working, and going, 'I thought I felt something there. I need to do it one more for today!'. Solas just stands there, deadpan, tired, exasperated, and internally screams until two feet crack his desk into splinters. That's when the arguments about reality start, and they usually end with a compromise. Fane can be a really, really big himbo after he becomes more...dragon-y. XD

Solas and Fane also tend to butt heads about their preferred methods of approaching situations. Solas, as we know, is heavily mired in planning, organizing, and subtly shifting things in his favor with patience and rationality. Fane is the exact opposite and is more prone to recklessness, straight walls of decisions that cannot be breached, letting his temper make most of those decisions for him, and forgoing planning all together because of impatience and irrationality.

This comes largely into play during Trespasser's timeline; Solas still planning things to a T and urging patience amid the threat of an invasion, and Fane recklessly barreling through the Crossroads to stem the Qunari tide despite a plan being in place. The arguments stemmed by these traits generally come from a place of care, and not wanting to see the other seriously hurt or trapped, so while it is a bit more serious, it still doesn't cause Fane or Solas to hold resentment towards each other or threaten their dynamic. Sometimes all it takes is explanation and a kiss to soothe flaring tempers. :3

18. What are the little things they do each day to show the other they care? – either consciously or subconsciously

Fane, more often than not, wakes up before Solas every morning, nightmares making him lurch forward and the queasiness born from them making it impossible for him to fall back asleep. So, as a way to divert his mind from those lingering terrors, and to remind himself that it wasn't real, he'll do things for Solas, for the person he knows is real.

Procuring a bath, knowing Solas oftentimes likes the feeling of sensation, of the grounding of reality amidst a waking dream. Retrieving a change of clothing or slipping down the stairs and into the quietness of Skyhold to find food, knowing that even though Solas eats very little, that he still needs to eat. These little things help Fane calm himself, reconnect with that gentle side, and it only helps when Solas wakes up, offers him a smile even as sleep clings to a mind so easily encased by it, and says, "Ar lath ma". These rituals are for both of them, even if they just appear to be for Fane's own peace of mind, but they're not. Caring for the one that cared for him, through death and ages, is the least Fane can do.

Solas does many of the same things, but throughout the day since he rarely wakes up before Fane does.

Offering a hand to one that is trembling with tremors born from scar filled pain and fraying temper after a war meeting tested waning patience, leading, guiding Fane to the gardens for a simple discussion or at times, a game of chess. Placing a plate of food down quietly next to a hunched over form so used to battle, but somehow able to buckle down like a scholar, knowing that if the mind was hungry for answers, then a stomach must be too. Soothing headaches induced from resurfacing memories, too much magic within a certain radius, and mortal trauma, allowing a pillar to crumble and be weak as it finds sanctuary in Solas' lap, creases of stress ebbing away, lips going lax with gentle breaths, and brilliant eyes hazed from agony finally clearing to shine two toned and sparkling again. Again, these rituals are for the both of them, and Solas doing them helps reestablish reality amid nightmares. They are allowed to be weak when the world expects, demands, that they be strong, to carry the weight of millions and rip apart the very fabric of a mistaken piece of cloth that holds the memory of their world at bay.

23. Is there something they have grown to appreciate more about each other over the years?

Absolutely. For Solas, seeing Fane grow, learn, and truly understand the way the world he used to simply watch from atop a mountain works is something that makes him grateful that they had been given a second chance, even if the path was laced with trauma and heartbreak. He basks in the ever growing array of emotions that had been indecipherable due to a mouth being a maw or a brow not harboring eyebrows. He appreciates the patience, that at times, is Fane's hardest thing to harness, the world no longer eternal, time flowing like a steady sand glass, but a dual being attempts to master for the sake of others, for the sake of their kin.

For Fane, seeing Solas slowly reopen, slowly learn about the world as he is, and accept that his emotions are not always a weakness is something he cherishes, adores above all else. His very nature is to guide those emotions to the best possible outcome, and when blue and grey twinkles with quiet lavender, a third color many do not see, Fane's heart grows, it swells, because the man he knew, the man he grew to love, even though it was impossible at the time, was still inside, still connected to a side thought lost. Fane appreciates the calm, the soothing presence that Solas radiates around all matters, but he also appreciates when that presence is willing, wanting to find solace to be frenzied, to be a whirlwind seeking release. That's when the metaphorical wings open, and Fane catches the sky as it falls, and he would do so a million times, a million different ways, and in a million different lifetimes if it meant Solas would stay open, stay aware, stay as never ending as the sky his eyes embody.

#i love these two #and i love waxing poetic about their dynamic #it's sickeningly SWEET and my JAW HURTS X3 #solavellan #oc: fane lavellan #solas #dragon age #asks #ask #thank you so much again! <3

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kendelias · 4 years

Text

OTP Playlist

i was tagged by @cecesxwickedxocs!! thank you so much

Pairing: genevieve x rafael

how gen feels about rafael: exist for love by aurora

I know I cannot heal the hurt But I will hold you here forever If I can, if I can And then I learned the truth How everything good in life seems to lead back to you And every single time I run into your arms I feel like I exist for love

how rafael feels about gen: loving you tonight by andrew allen

And I'll say hey, you'll say baby, how's your day? I'll say crazy, but it's all gonna be alright You'll kiss my smile, I'll pull you closer, Spend a while just getting to know ya, But it's all gonna be all alright

first dance song: make you feel my love by adele

I'd go hungry I'd go black and blue I'd go crawling Down the avenue No, there's nothing That I wouldn't do To make you feel my love

gen angst song: till i found you by phil wickham

Gone are the days I'm chasing after what won't last I'm done with building these castles that crumble like sand Oh, knees on the floor

rafael angst song: o, hallelujah by phillip-michael scales

When I was searching for the man you know I was reckless, selfish, scared I broke things I can't repair And with your sweetness out of sight You'd have eaten me alive Sure, it would have been exciting But fireworks fade into night so I sing tagging @oc-daydreams, @ocsandallthatjazz, @guardiansofheroes, @richitozier, and anyone else who wants to do it!!!

#tagged #tag games #ship: gen x rafael #svu #genevieve zhao #general #they don't have a gif yet... please ignore that..........#playlist #i'm still finding out queue i am

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cosmicpeko · 5 years

Text

Tool ㅡ Chapter 1: Rage

Word count: 1,071

OTP: Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu x Peko Pekoyama | Danganronpa 2

Story type: fanfiction

Short summary: Peko Pekoyama dives into her most precious memories in an intimate journey to self-love, trying to live with emotions she can’t control and to discover what is like to be a real person. More notes at the end.

Read on AO3

ㅡ

My voice repeats: I am a tool. I was brought to this world to be by his side; I shall fulfill my purpose.

Mid-march rain falls on a wet wooden floorboard. Semi-open sliding door of the minka house hidden in the woods allows the wind to enter between the internal walls, run under the furniture, play with the paper on the floor ㅡ it untidies the room.

It caresses blonde hair. Freckles expose to the water ㅡ silky smooth skin becomes its path down to the pointy chin, through the neck, hides in the collarbones. Drops rest on his lips, tongue catches them, it drinks. He's smiling. He's relaxing every muscle of his body. He's resting ㅡ he's letting go. He breathes deeply. "I love rainy days. It feels like time stops for a while. Doesn't it, Peko?" A calling voice awakens my thoughts. Head raises, shoulders tighten. Humidity hurts my bones, angers my bruises. "It does indeed, Young Master." Red eyes wandering to finally meet hesitant green ㅡ I shall converse more, he demands, silently, as he keeps his gaze on me. I apologize. "...It feels like the sky is in a rage, too, though slowly but surely, it will pass. It has a rash temper, and it needs to let its anger go, then eventually, it manages to stop. Sometimes, it calms itself immediately, sometimes it destroys everything that falls victim under his reign. Mother Nature gave it immense power over us." Green eyes look delighted. Sweet humming slips from his still-smiling mouth. "You always get this poetic, dontcha? It's a women thing, you give them nothing, they play with words around it until they done covering it in fuckin' pink and flowers." He laughs. "How are you even 18? You sound like a nostalgic granny." I do not know what being poetic means. I happen to imagine inanimated objects embody different personalities. My Master ㅡ he reminds me of the sky. Every mood he owns is similar to its changes. He is calm and still like a summer night, he is impulsive like a storm. He is cheerful and fresh like a newborn sunrise, yet he is pained and melanchonic like a dying sunset. I've lived enough to see them all. "Does it hurt?" I am unworthy of his worried touch. But I don't dare to move. "It does not, Young Master." "Peko- you're literally a whole purple thing. Not even a mashed sweet potato looks this ugly." "I do not feel pain, Young Master. I live to serve you at my fullest - I need to be trained." Careless fingers gently press over the darkest spots on my left arm, then retreat, as he searches for even little hisses or whimpers of mine. Not one sound leaves me ㅡ I learned how to control myself with time. But I can still feel it ㅡ broken bamboo swords echoe inside my ribcage. Pristine fists turning purple and blue. Heart broken. Soul stronger. "Fine," his figure rises again and stands tall in front of mine. Distress contained in a self-hug, "I know this is your job and all, but please, don't push yourself too much. You are already strong enough. Just yesterday, you beat the shit out of that asshole at the pub like he was planning to destroy the world." "I do not deserve your worry, Young Master." "Peko, I said quit that "Young Master" shit-" he stops, suddenly, eating his own breath. I cannot decipher what is that is eating the perfect green of his iris as his gaze locks into mine. Something I never quite encountered before. Rage ㅡ but not the same as the sky's, nor the storm. Something different. Hot wind of the desert, carrying sand and flames. Burning hills. Searing gardens.

I am ashamed of how long I have been staring into my Master's eyes.

Hands rub together, trying to reduce the silence into a paste of aching shame, cold sweat, shivers ㅡ quickening heartbeats. "Fuckin' quit it, Peko." he repeats, voice calm and still. Summer night. "We agreed on it since we're starting school together again. I asked you kindly - this is starting to feel like I'm commanding you and I do not. Want. This shit. Got it?" Composure fights distress in an internal war I do not desire nor understand. I am still capable of holding myself back. "Yes-" tongue plummets in my throat "yes." "My fucking name, Peko." More heartbeats. Uneasiness. Silence. Composure. "I said what's my name, Peko." Head rises. Eyeballs tremble. Rain drips through blonde hair, through freckles, through silky smooth skin. The wind stopped cutting my cheekbones. "Young Master." Quick steps and pace ㅡ few seconds pass before his skinny figure starts rushing towards me. Red eyes follow instinctively like those of a fox preying on a rabbit in the snow, hands steady, knees firm. Last breath, a millisecond. Hold. He does not attack me. Instead, he kicks the wall behind me, where my back was laying, seeking relatively satisfying rest. I do not move, but I quiver. He retreats, then shouts. "My fucking name, Pekoyama!!!" Mind goes blank. Ringing sounds conquer my eardrums in a blink of time.

"Yes, Fuyuhiko!!! For God's sake!!!"

A growl leaves with the wind, scratches my throat and steals my breath. Every wall of the minka house shakes as I step upwards, stand taller than him, confront him unconsciously head-on. Teeth unraveled like fangs.

"When did you lose yourself, tool?" I want to know. When did I first witness my balance crumble. When did I allow emotions to get the best of me. How. How did I lose track of my inner being. "Don't you ever forget your life's only purpose. You don't get to have any other meaning than that."

How dare I confront my Master like that.

Instead, something is born anew through his face. Simultaneously. Fresh and wet sunrise across shiny lashes. He saw me, getting weaker under his command for the first time. He knows something I don't know. He sees something I don't see. He cracked me open.

Delicious chuckles flourish beneath his teeth. "Let's go," abstract flowers crown his newborn smile, perfume so numbing, "I want to go deer hunting last time 'fore we join a brand new hellhole." The distance between us increases as he runs outside the safe perimeter, completely run over by pouring rain.

He holds the keys to my soul.

ㅡ

So hello again. I really hope you liked this first chapter! More are to come. Peko is an extremely fascinating character to me and I can’t wait to dig into her a bit more and let you meet my version of her personality! This was heavily inspired by @thewildwilds beautiful art.

A special thanks to her, who indirectly taught me to love Kuzupeko in a brand new way - I’m so obsessed with them. (I also really hope she sees this ,,)

#danganronpa #danganronpa2 #fanfiction #kuzupeko #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #peko pekoyama #romance #otp #a little poetic but it's just my style #also ily ahn #notice me senpai

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drooliesblog · 4 years

Text

Dante x Lady Week 2020 prompts

Compiled these prompts together with a singular concept in mind because THIS 👏 IS 👏 ALL 👏 I 👏 EVER 👏 WANT 👏 FROM 👏 MY 👏 OTP.

These are written as snippets of the prompts, some new and some as continuations with a rather common theme. They’re all not suppose to be interconnect and act as one-shots of their own except for two. I didn’t have much time during the week to write every idea down but damn was I thriving thinking about these concepts and AUs. Please let me know which ones are your favorite!

Royalty:

Lady chokes back her tears when she finally sees the bluest eyes stare right back at her. A second ago, they were closed and she honestly believed they would never open again. If they did, they would have been a different color, not something this beautiful.

“The curse is finally broken,” he croaks from the weight of her body on top of his, gently moving her and the tears with his hands. His human hands. Despite finally being able to sit up, he has to catch her in his arms and fall back down. He doesn’t really mind, it doesn’t matter how sore he is. It’s just… it feels so awkward to be so human after years of being a devil, he used to treat her with careful touches due to his strength but now it feels like he needs to be the one treated gently.

“I thought you died” she says after her calms down, they’re lying down in the midst of fire and destruction from their fight with the evil wizard (her father) who cursed him to begin with. The Lady Knight traces over his features, admiring how different he looks now. How princely he seems to be, fitting for the fate of ruling his kingdom… with someone more queenly. Someone not her…

Steeling her heart from their possible future of separation, Lady moves her hand away from his face but he takes hold of it. Placing her palm above his heart, she realizes where he’s going with this. He can’t be doing this now, she doesn’t have the heart to say no if he does. So she speaks up first, before he can break her resolve.

“Dante I can’t, we talked about this. I’m not cut out for this, never been educated to rule a Kingdom. Being a queen is not the life for me.” There, she said all she can with her resolve still strong despite the quake in her voice.

“I wasn’t raised to rule either, younger twin remember? Besides this kingdom has been without the royal family for a long time.” As he spoke, he uses his free hand to guide her to look up at him, his thumb tracing the fresh scar by her jaw.

“Dante… what are you trying to say?” She’s not trying to be hopeful, to be so selfish when all she’s been through was for the sake of the kingdom and the people that cried for help. But oh, it feels so good to feel this loved and safe.

“I’m saying forget Dante the Prince, everyone else has and let me just be Dante. Your Dante.”

Chase:

They were walking hand in hand, the sand between their toes under the twilight of the night sky. Both are recounting the game earlier that Lady instigated, she laughs when Dante brings up the smoke grenade she threw at him earlier.

“Speaking of, I think I see it. Hold up” he says while letting go to move back. She clasps both of her hands together at his release, still feeling and already missing the warmth of his. She admires the moon reflected on the sea while waiting for Dante to come back to her side, but she doesn’t want to admire the moon in silence so she quips up.

“You can’t seriously be mad about that, the grenade was harmless and I needed to get the upper hand if you’re going to be chasing me.”

“Not mad, just wanted another memento of how crazy I am to always go after someone like you.”

“Hey now- son of a bitch,” Lady is completely speechless when she turns around to admonish her lover. He’s down on one knee, the pin of the grenade is held between his fingers like a ring.

“I’ve been chasing you since we first met and I ain’t ever gonna stop. Will you let me chase you forever?”

Western:

“Still mad sweetheart?” Dante has to raise both hands up now, trying to diffuse the situation he landed himself in. Despite his life being in danger, he still has time to appreciate how much of a beauty she’s become, wild back hair cropped above her shoulders. Angry bi-colored eyes accompanied by the scar across her nose. He would wax poetry if he knew how, but he’s been an outlaw for a long time with all his manners beaten out from the wild west. He thinks she should at least know how pretty she is, so he lets out a low whistle that only earns him another bullet grazing his cheek. Same spot from the shot she made earlier, well damn she’s got aim.

“You stole from my father and made me an orphan on our weddin’ day.”

“He was a bad man, Mary. Bastard had it comin’ and you know it.”

“Didn’t let me finish cowboy and don’t ever call me Mary again… Ain’t my name no more.” He has to bite his tongue or lose his head for real when she gets up real close and puts that barrel right against his forehead. There’s honest to god real anger in those eyes, hurt too if he looks any closer than he’s doing so already. He keeps himself real quiet by finding some of his lost manners and waits for her to finish.

“You left me at the altar, didn’t take me with you. You know I would’ve… I could’ve, still can you know… but you ran off and I was alone. Only had your Ma’ to keep me company when I lost everything. Even name, but that was choice. Think about it, still think you got the right to come back after all this time, Dante?”

“I…believe I did, still do but Law didn’t agree so much, would’ve hanged me for killin’ yer old man… I tried to ya know… to get you that day but they already were expectin’ me. Settin’ you up like bait… I still want to… if you do… It ain’t right what I did, but that don’t mean I still can’t now. ” He’s careful to remove the barrel when her gaze softens and her strength against him relents. It’s awkward now, when Dante’s been gone for so long but feelings are coming back like a water breaking down dam. He’s glad she’s still so understanding after all these years. Maybe still loves him even…

“What do I call ya then if not… well…” He asks tentatively, taking off his hat to groom himself a bit more presentable. She shrugs, lowering her rifle in silence. Nervously, he tests out her patience and forgiveness.

“Then… how about Missus Dante Alighieri?”

Bodyguard:

“Can you stop pacing like that?”

Mary looks up and past the bars that holds her to see the monster –devil-boy she thinks spitefully- that her father summoned from the depths of hell to keep her imprisoned. He’s so bored that the chair he sits on should be breaking from the precarious angle of him pushing the back legs at. He hasn’t stopped leaning that far back, using only his propped legs as a tether to a table full of empty cups and scattered cards. He may be skillful in the art of lazy guard duty but the chair is old and will give out. When it does, she’ll be there to laugh at his stupid face since it’s just themselves to keep each other company.

“No,” she answers back petulantly, bringing her nose up in disdain and the devil rolls his eyes.

“You going back and forth is giving me a headache, just take a nap or whatever. I can’t believe I accepted this deal.” The last part, he muttered underneath his breath but she heard it anyways. Curiously, she goes up against the bars of her cell and peers out to read his expression. His face is human, but she’s seen what he’s capable of. Knows that his albino appearance cannot fool her from where he’s truly from and that she’s out of her depths if she thinks she can defeat the demon.

“Having a change of heart? Feeling bad that daddy dearest wants to sacrifice his only daughter for power?” She sneers, her lips twisting into a snarl after openly declaring her fate.

“Well… yeah, I don’t really wanna screw the world over… or you even.” His answer took her by surprise, what was that? She has to stare at him, long and hard to find any lies to his admission. His blue eyes staring back now, a look she recognizes as regret and she can feel anger bubbling out from the mockery that is his turnaround.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Why are you even doing this? Following that man’s orders. Just free me and get lost then!” She has half the mind to beat him with the chair right now.

“I can’t… the deal was that I’d keep an eye on you and I get a bride in return, else the contract breaks and I’m dragged back to hell.”

Mary scrunches her nose, her life was on the line and the devil wants a wife. Yeah, she’s definitely justified in the chair beat down. But… she can use this to her advantage, her guard in red is giving her an opening. She just has to get at his level, make a bargain better than her father’s.

“My father said to keep me from running away right?… it’s not really like you’re breaking the contract if I’m willing to go to him… you’ll still be watching over me. Like… a bodyguard of sorts. Did he say anything about me stopping him from ending the world?” She smirks when she sees how much he’s perking up at the word, bodyguard. So she’s got a hero-wannabe devil… she can work with that.

“You have a point there, I won’t be breaking the contract if we… look at it like that, didn’t say anything about stopping you from going to him… but there’s still the bride issue…”

She deflates, still with that bride-bullshit… ok minor setback. “Why does having a bride matter so much, I thought souls were the kind of things you guys prefer.”

He rakes one hand through that silver mop of hair and finally gets up from his position, walking over to her. She definitely has his attention now, she can make him change his mind. “Not my kind of thing really and I just want some sort of love in my life. It’s lonely in the business.”

“Then how about me?”

He’s definitely looking at her now, brows furrowing to an unreadable expression. She can’t stand the silent stare and continues with her sudden proposal.

“I don’t want to die as a sacrifice, you want a wife without going back to hell. If we go by that logic then contract still stands and we all get what we want.”

“You sure you want this?”

She gulps, but she’s not backing out of her proposition and keeps staring him straight in the eyes.

“Just protect me as I stop my father.”

Past/Future:

“You know what? Future looks pretty good.” Nineteen year old Dante declares Forty-whatever Lady, who’s sitting at his desk on his chair like it’s her’s. He knows what’s up and he likes what it might mean. He can’t explain why he’s in the future or how he got there… at least not yet, mind’s still foggy from some sort of magic.

But he’s not so out of it that he can’t recognize the furnishing he bought not too long ago from his timeline. He knows what his business looks like and the years hasn’t changed it one bit. The only new additions he doesn’t recognize are the women who occupy the space. One being Trish, his mom’s clone and the other being Lady… who he has to assume might be his significant other. Like he can’t not be with a woman that gorgeous. At least he hopes that’s what she is to him when she’s looking that damn fine and in control behind his desk, on his chair like that. It’s like twenty-whatever years into his future, sounds like a good time to settle down with someone, he thinks. Especially if that someone is her.

He wants to know how important she is to him, to older him. It’s only been less than a day since they got acquainted after showing up in this timeline, and he likes her. He like likes her when she’s so funny and crass and doesn’t give one damn about things. She’s cool like that.

She also got him pizza, his favorite kind.

Lady quirks a brow to his words and replies with that same crass attitude of her, “because I’m treating you with pizza? Don’t hope too much, I’m not that generous with you.”

He laughs, not too put off by her teasing. Now he really wants to know how much of an item they are. He tries to, but words don’t come out when the alternative pervades his mind and he shuts down. He likes the idea of being with her a little too much that if they’re only just friends and he has to hear that kind of reject from her, it’d hurt like shit. But he’s curious and a tad restless with his anxiety that he excuses himself to go to the bathroom.

He knows his way around that he manages to find his room on his way not to the bathroom. It’s not locked and he peers in to see his bed neatly made. Yeah… no, he doubts he’s neat enough to clean his bed even at Forty. Carefully, he enters the room and snoops a bit more. He’s both delighted and disappointed to know Lady sleeps here but only because of the bags that contained her clothes and weapons. It shows how temporary her residence is when the only clothes in his closet are just his, so it doesn’t really say a lot at what they are. There’s not even a picture of them together, if he’s enough of a sap to keep a picture of his mom then it can’t kill him to have a picture of them together.

He solemnly swears to remedy that when he goes back to his timeline and finally meets his Lady. Then it hits him at the revelation to his thoughts, so if there’s nothing that says what they are out in the open, there might be something hidden instead. Dropping on all fours, he looks under his bed to find a hidden compartment. He spots a small familiar latch and reaches deep under to open it, just his luck that something actually does fall into his palm. Something not his usual stash of cash. He gives himself a congratulatory fist pump for buying a bed with a hidden safe and using it for something not money in the future.

“Whatcha got there, kid?”

Dante’s startled to hear Lady in front of him that he doesn’t have time to register what is in his hand. By the time he’s straighten himself up, both he and Lady are staring at a red velvet box that he’s holding out. Oh fuck.

He opens it to see a golden band.

“Oh fuck,” the both of them swear.

Role Reversal:

Through the rubble of the wreckage that is Fortuna, Dante carries Force Edge nonchalantly above his shoulder, he saunters over to the stoic older figure in the middle of it all.

“I guess I should thank you…”

It’s weird to be indebted to the man in the navy dusker when hours before Dante impaled him against the statue of the legendary, Virgil. Nero turns around to face him, showing that stupid smug grin of his that irks and amuses Dante to no end. The old hunter scoffs and waves off Dante’s gratitude, telling the young Knight that he had his reasons to do what he did. Reasons to look after the long lost son of his deceased twin, Sparda. A reason Nero can’t bring himself to reveal to Dante after all that has happened. At least not yet.

Dante is surprised with Nero’s goodbye when he makes his way out, it’s not tenderness behind the Hunter’s word but it’s the lack of persistence of the return of Force Edge that was clearly still in his arms.

“Wait,” he called out “you forgot this.” And he presents the sword out but Nero shakes his head.

“Keep it.”

“What? Thought this meant a lot to you…” The weight of the sword feels so much heavier when Nero shows no sign of wanting it back.

“That’s the kind of gift worth giving. I’m entrusting you with it so what you do from now on? Your call.” Dante’s touched and honored at the answer and watches Nero finally make his exit. The young knight finds himself lost in his thought while drawing Force Edge back into his devil arm, he wonders if they’ll ever meet again. He hopes so, there’s something comforting and familiar about the Devil Hunter.

“So…” A voice calls out behind Dante and he turns to see Mary in her knight’s uniform.

“This the end?” She asks while adjusting the strap of her sword. The splattering of blood that stained her uniform indicates her recent dealings with the monsters that now lurk about in their city. Dante doesn’t have the strength anymore to fight with Mary about putting herself out there when he just saved her from being Sanctus’ living battery. Telling Mary to not risk her life for others has been a lost cause since they were kids and god damn, he loves her more for it.

“Maybe,” he says but the end to what? Despite the city being a wreck, he still sees a better future. From the look in her eyes, she’s thinking the same thing.

“We’re still alive…”

That’s true… they’re still alive but not the same. He’s not the same, not human anymore and the thought shames him to know she might choose to reject him because of his damnation. But he has enough resolve to respect her wishes, he always will. He brings up his devil arm, grasping it with his human arm, trying to find the courage to voice his fears.

“Mary, if I’m a demon and not a human anymore… would you still-” he’s finding it hard to look at her, afraid to see the look of disgust. Mary is strong, proud and above all else, honorable that Dante can’t bring her down when he’s become what she’s sworn to kill.

It’s her hands that takes a hold of him from the fear that could swallow him whole, its firm with a resolve that is reflected in her eyes. He sucks a breath in from her sudden affection, everything right now is giving him the kind of hope that makes him lean in to her touch.

“Dante you’re you…” she’s stepping in close to him, bringing up their joined hands in reassurance. “And it’s you I want to be with and I don’t know anyone who’s as human as you are.” He does everything in his power not to mess up the moment, because he can be an ass and now is not the time. Not when he’s fishing out his pocket to return to Mary her mother’s necklace. She gasps and leans forward to let him clasp the only family heirloom she has left. Someday he’ll give her something more than just a necklace, something to fit her finger and really cement what they really mean to each other.

Homecoming:

The Sparda twins are flooded with a sense of relief upon seeing the neon lights of Devil May Cry, after months of fighting in hell a little bit of peace was a nice change of pace. A little bit of peace being a rundown building in the seedier side of town. Dante’s not complaining about it and Vergil will just have to grudgingly suck it up, because home is home.

Dante perks up to see the women in his life sitting inside, and with Vergil finally by his side the family picture that he never knew he wanted is starting to feel so real. He has to wipe his nose to reign back any tears, he’s not going to freaking cry in front of Vergil.

When he’s certain he still got his bravado, he claps behind the other man’s back and goads him to go further. There’s a look of warning to not pussy out or start a fight with Lady and Trish. His twin is gracious to give him a scoff instead the usual verbal threat of bodily harm. That’s what Dante calls character-fucking-growth.

With everything falling into place in his life, he swears to protect this weird family and keep them together or die trying. He has a nephew, friends to call upon and a brother who’s not dead.

Then there’s Lady…

She’s jovially responding to whatever Trish must have said because the blonde is moving her head back and looks to be laughing now. She’s at such a good place right now, far from the days of Temen-ni-gru and recklessness. Well she’s still reckless but so is he...

Okay, maybe they’re reckless with the lives they lead but that’s the perk of the job not something detrimental to their health, so he thinks… But that’s beside the point. The point is that there’s Lady and he wants something more to make this family picture in his mind more…

More…

More tangible…

“Dante?”

That’s not Vergil speaking to him… He snaps out of his thoughts to see that asshat inside Devil May Cry and talking to Trish while his dear brother was left outside in the cold. He’s out in the cold alone, or not alone because there’s Lady right there in front of him.

Oh.

“Heeeey Lady…” He totally did not lamely greet her like he hope he wouldn’t. She offers him a smile, and he’s still being lame because he’s certain his own is coming off crooked and awkward. In no time, he takes her into an embrace, making up for his lack of charm and she returns his hug by wrapping her own around his shoulders. It feels so good to feel her this close that he lifts her from the ground to pull her closer. She can’t walk away when she can’t touch the ground. Heh heh.

They might as well be like this for eternity, he wants them to. Stay like this and probably die like this too as long it’s something she wants as well. His eternity ends though when she looks up and asks to be put down. He’s reluctant at her request, but the look in her eyes has every wisecrack he could think of die on his lips. He obliges by letting her feet drop to the ground, still holding her but she’s moving out of his grasp and it feels so empty to have her move away like that.

“Lady I-

She stops him by getting on one knee and presents to him a familiar ring he’s kept hidden from her before his venture to hell.

“Son of a bitch!” He swears, he can’t believe she’s beaten him to the punch. He’s not even upset that his careful planning is ruined by her taking the initiative because now his family picture is finally complete.

#dantexlady #dantexladyweek #dmc dante #dmc lady #dxlweek #prompts #fanfiction #oneshots

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freds-keep · 4 years

Note

Oliender + Antonio for the OTP Ask Meme. (1) (2) (3) (8) (10) (13) (14) (20) (23) (24) (28) (35) (36) (37) (44) (47)

(Ah yes because I’ve singlehandedly shaped 97% of the lore around Antonio, huh?)

1. Who wakes up first?

Usually it’s Ant, but sometimes Oli ends up being the first one awake.

2. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Usually Oli :P Ant has his moments too though so sometimes they’ll lay in bed for a while before actually getting up and doing things.

3. Who takes longer getting ready?

Oli. Gotta make sure he’s got everything - especially with how forgetful he is.

8. Who gets extremely competitive playing Mario Kart?

HAAA oli. He can and has ragequit many a time - leading to playful mockery and a vicious rematch.

10. Who sets the other’s ringtone to something loud and obnoxious behind their back?

Ant. Chaotic bastard really shouldn’t have been trusted with Oli’s phone pattern.

13. Who points out a dog when they see one?

Both of them. Simultaneously.

14. Who’s prone to road rage?

OLI oh the conniptions he’ll have if you’re a jackass on the road

20. What do they argue about the most?

Thaaat... depends on what point they’re at in their relationship. At the height of it, it was more arguing about what to wear or what to do; towards the end it was more of a one-sided shouting match as Oli tried to convince him not to leave Sourcemist... assuming Ant ever told him his plan to leave.

23. Who is better with kids?

Oli. Hands-down. He has a very strong parental instinct that makes him an absolute legend with kids - human and animal alike.

24. Who’s the better cook?

Also Oli, honestly. Neither of them are particularly good at it, but at least Oli’s cooking is edible ;P

28. Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1 AM?

Ant. He’s very lucky Oli sleeps like a tank.

35. What do they smell when they smell amortentia?

(side note i cannot believe im genuinely answering this one i haven’t liked HP in years)

Oli: Wet sand, burning wood, and vanilla.

Ant: Fresh reeds, slime, and copper.

36. Which one is the secret snuggler?

ANT!! He’s a light sleeper and will find any opportunity he can to wrap himself around Oli like a koala.

37.Which one offers their jacket to the other when they complain they feel cold?

Whichever one of them happens to actually be wearing a jacket at that moment. Neither of them are very good about it.

44. What are their nicknames for each other?

Ant/Anty/Tonio or Oli/Lolly/Ender

47.Who says I love you first? How did it happen?

It just slips out of Oli’s mouth one day after... I suppose after Ant has a practice session with the old band, and Ant is taken aback by it - but later on goes back and actually talks it out with Oli to see what’s actually going on.

#asks #theplayajam765 #otp asks #my oc #mcsm oliender #hello god i forgot how cute antoniender can be #but also how. gut-wrenchingly sad it can be too LOLLL

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twigstarpikachutroll22 · 4 years

Text

Stages of Broppy shipping

These experiences are probably unique to me, actually. But, like, if anycreature else HAS gone through these, then that’s cool.

1) Be a romance-repulsed aroace

2) See Trolls and go through several of the stages of Trolls obsession until you get to this one

3) At this point be aware that the “and that’s why i love you” line in True Colors did happen, but insist to yourself that he couldn’t POSSIBLY have meant it that way, your brain just cannot accept that idea, it HAD to be platonic

4) Replay it in your head once in awhile trying to imagine that it was NOT platonic, and be shocked out of your mind every single time but start to enjoy the shock somehow.

5) Start looking through a couple of old Trolls fandom blogs on Tumblr, enjoying lots of great Trolls content there...and also see a FRICK TON of broppy content.

6) Complain to your friends that you hate the ship and that just like with many other ships people will take ANY excuse to ship it, any moment where they look at each other or touch or sand close to each other or interact in any way, which is just plain dumb.

7) Keep going back to those Trolls blogs again and again.

8) Look at the broppy fanart and fanfics from those people again and again.

9) Realize that you’re enjoying it.

10) Freak out because you HATE romance, you’ve always hated romance, EVERYCREATURE knows you hate romance and think shipping is a load of magikarp, and so this absolutely CANNOT be happening, WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FRICK

11) Continue looking at those broppy fanfics and fanart again and again because you just can’t help yourself, they’re just. Too. Adorable. And. Sweet. But also vowing to yourself that nocreature must EVER find out about this. EVER.

12) Make a confession typed in a secret code on a fandom website you call home where you have many close friends. A small number of people crack the code and assure you it’s okay and keep your secret.

13) Make a Tumblr account to join the fandom because you’ve spent TOO LONG having nocreature to obsess over Trolls with and if there’s a community just as obsessed as you then you want to be part of it.

14) Discover more and more broppy content, all different styles of fanart that are AMAZINGBALLZTASTICAL, all different kinds of fanfics, some fluffy, some angsty, some innocent, some raunchy, some RAINBOWLICIOUSLY MAGICAMAZINGBALLZTASTICAL slow burns that are a perfect mix of all of them and give you SO MANY FEEEEEELLLS

15) Allow yourself to post broppy conent and talk about broppy on your tumblr blog, so long as you never let anycreature outside of tumblr know.

16) Make accounts on AO3 and FFN partly to post the few OC fanfics you’ve written but partly to save lots and lots of broppy fanfics.

17) After re-reading lots of them many many times, start to replay your favorite parts of those fanfics in your head throughout the day, and also mix them up poopily with poopy ideas in your own head to make your own not-so-good bropy fanfics in your head that you enjoy very much but will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER let anycreature else see because they are ridiculously bad and embarrassing.

18) Start shipping other ships with some similarities to broppy. Freak out about this too.

19) Get to the point where broppy fanfics begin to be the first thing you think about when you wake up, the last thing you think about (as kind of a bedtime story) before you fall asleep, and the main thing you daydream about all day.

20) Start making broppy AMVs in your head.

21) Start seeing Imagine You OTP posts that WORK SO WELL for Poppy and Branch but still be hesitant to admit you have an OTP, and thus end up reblogging those posts with your comments being a weird mixture of extreme fangirling and extreme denial.

22) Realize you are COMPLETELY OBSESSED with this ship now, it’s like an addiction really.

23) Make a broppy playlist.

22) Plot on graph paper where your favorite broppy fanfics fall on the fluff vs angst and innocence vs raunchiness scale. Realize you have reached peak nerd and peak fangirl and be unsure how to feel about this.

23) Consider confessing all of this outright to ALL of your friends on the fandom site where you confessed in code to a few people, because you’re known them for so long and they’re so nice and supportive, you already know you can trust them, you can share just about anything with them, you’ve shared more personal stuff than this before even, so why NOT... but still hesitate a little for some reason.

24) Future stages TBD.

#h;snhiglorjn ml #dreamworks trolls #broppy

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faunusrights · 5 years

Text

‘AFTER THE FALL’ - LIVEREAD II

Part I (prologue to chapter three) here!

According to other people reading this alongside me, I have yet to even see the true extent of how, um... interesting some of the characterisations are? So, we can only do one thing: keep reading, even though I’m relatively sure the corpse of a sizeable moth was batted onto my copy :I

We’ve reached chapter three, and only now do I realise what a considerable chunk of the book that is? Blimey.

CHAPTER THREE

/gets six lines in /shuts the book

Look, I said I wasn’t gonna say it because we know I hate it but ughghghgh I hate canon Velvet soooooo muuuuuuuuuuch she’s SO boring I’m SO sorry but GOD--

Okay. Okay. Moving on. Yatsu is our narrator now so let’s hear how he sounds!

“Ash started crying and crying and crying--”

I know it’s inevitable that most names I picked for OCs will crop up elsewhere but... Ash? You tryna take Ash “Bottom Energy” Scarlatina away from me now? Can’t I have anything?

So, it was mentioned that apparently a recurring thing I’ll be seeing in this novel is Yatsu and Velvet being hitched together on the character development front, and honestly, I can see it happening here. They’re being made into one sort of unit and Yatsu keeps calling attention to that, which isn’t... great, ‘cause I’m kinda hoping we’ll see more individual development? But the current consensus is that It Ain’t Happening, so we’ll See, I Guess,

Okay, I love that Velvet makes spreadsheets on her Scroll. I deeply enjoy her making chats to keep track of stuff, because honestly what a mood that is.

‘Yatsuhashi whirled around in confusion, but Velvet was gone. He didn’t like losing sight of her; what kind of trouble was she getting up to now?’

Predictably, I don’t like Velvet being babies in any sense of the word, but I do like that Yatsu’s first worry is what trouble can she possibly fucking cause now? Velvet and her high chaos energy, whomst I Adore,

Also what the fuck is a breadfruit.

‘Professor Greene’s Stealth and Security class--’

UGH I wish we knew more about the classes they took in Beacon. Do you know how hard it is to write an AU in which the Fall of Beacon never happened and having to pull classes outta your ass? It’s HARD, Y’ALL,

Yatsu’s Semblance is... making people forget things? That’s. Weird but alright??? Sure??? Whatever???

Me, every time Velvet snaps: why is it I only get the Velvet I’m after when she’s being such a bi-- oh wait I have a type sorry continue as you were,

But actually God I miss chibi!Velvet pour one out for the cancellation y’all

“This is bad,” Yatsu said sadly.

Me to myself: I know it’s not good writing I know and you know but don’t say anything just move on--

Okay before I move on, I’m definitely seeing a lot of that Yatsu/Velvet hitching, and makes me Nervous because I love Yatsu and I love Velvet but I also love them separately so I’m holding out hope that they get split up at Some Point because they really have been written together pretty much the whole way, huh?

CHAPTER FOUR

OKAY CHAPTER FOUR LET’S GO LET’S GO

It’s Fox time, and we’ve got an introduction to Copper, Fox’s mentor (someone mentioned it’s totally a 'The Fox and The Hound’ reference). And-- ah, he’s dead. That was quick.

‘Velvet sometimes let her feelings get the best of her, Fox thought.’

You think that’s bad? You should meet murpverse!Velvet, that bitch has never held a thought in her head for more than five seconds.

I’ll confess I’m now reading pretty far ahead before I have any commentary of note. I’m enjoying Fox’s narration far more than anyone else’s by a pretty considerable margin, and it’s probably ‘cause Fox -- despite saying literally nothing in canon -- saw a lot of people reach the same conclusion to his character? So this one is much easier to settle into. Also, maybe it’s ‘cause he was such a blank slate that the writing works better for him. I dunno.

Story-wise: Edward is-- okay, actually, side-tangent: Edward? We seem to really jump in and out of the colour scheme, huh? Anyway, Edward’s a shady mfer and LET VELVET DO SHIT ON HER OWN!!!!!! LET HER BE A DUMBASS OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

‘That was the last time he;s underestimate [Velvet].’

Told ya, dipshitte.

Ooh, everyone’s Angery about Everything. Seems like the Mood Bombs are also more passively AOE than just being a Sudden Boom, because everyone’s got a MUCH shorter temper? Then again, mine would be Non-Existent in a desert to begin with, so maybe they’ve all got sand up their butts. Also, Gus is to blame for the Mood Bombs anyway! That’s a big F, kiddo.

CHAPTER FIVE

Flashback to the dance!

Awh, Ruby made her own outfit and cape. Li’l seamstress! Oh, dang, do you think Summer taught her? Or, at least, showed her how her cape was made? Aaaaa--

Lien remains... weird. I thought it’d be closer to a currency rate like Yen to the dollar (so thousands are worth much less), but the implication here is that twenty Lien is more like $20? The currency here is very weird and even I’m at fault for flip-flopping on it, but I honestly expected it to be more like Yen. Huh.

Coco likes Ruby’s outfit look at that senpai GO.

Oh, okay, so they met at the dance? For some reason, I thought they’d already been acquainted? I thought they mentioned that team CFVY were away in the show (and therefore knew them at least in passing) but apparently not.

Okay, so Coco’s dialogue is... weird? I’m not totally down for the voice the author’s chosen to give her, and the more I see of it the more I’m starting to notice it. That said, I can’t believe Coco has reeled off Ozpin’s whole speech for Ruby. I’d have forgotten three words in.

Still jumping back and forth on Coco’s dialogue. I’m not sure if I like it. Moving on.

Weiss is Big Bitch Supreme, I see. This flashback is striking me all wrong for some reason, but I cannot for my life of me say why.That said, Weiss unironically saying besties is the funniest thing I’ve read all week, so there’s that.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH TIME FOR VELVET AND RACISM UGHGHHGHGHHHHGHGH IM GONNA GO GET LUNCH FIRST--

WAIT BLAKE’S THERE

WAIT NO I’M GETTING FOOD FIRST EVEN IF BLACK VELVET IS RIGHT THERE--

Okay I ate too many calories and walked my dog let’s do this before I have to take said dog to the groomer. On that note, I’m like halfway through the book already? This really is short as heck.

“You had something to say to me?” Velvet asked. The boy clamped his mouth shut.

Do ya? Bihh.

Also I LOVE that highlights from the initiation are playing so that Blake literally looks a thousand times more intimidating. I wish we’d seen more of that kinda thing in the show, with RWBY being the new hotshots and the dynamic they had with Beacon as a whole. But that would have involved not blowing Beacon up to fuck and then having the writers go ‘uh, what do we do now?’ so what the hell do I know.

OOUGH THIS BLACK VELVET,,, HHH,,,, MURPHY’S OTP IS HERE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“What should we do with him?” [Blake] looked at Velvet.

Kill him... and then... kiss....................................

“I don’t believe in fighting prejudice with violence,” Velvet said.

I wish y’all could have heard the sound I made at that. Canon Velvet you’re just so... soggy bread about this.

Blake shook her head. “that’s not how we deal with people like him where I come from.”

Blake yr so HOT... hey you should teach Velvet how you deal with people like him and then kiss. That said, are they talking about Menagerie there? Or the Fang? If it’s Menagerie, that’s even funnier because I love the idea of an idiot running their mouth and then having five families and a baby wail on them.

Blake hates dog-ears in their books. Bad news, asshole, it’s the BEST way to mark PAGES bookmarks are for the UPPER CLASSES who don’t realise BOOKS are TOOLS of EDUCATION--

Anyway. Moving on-- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG.

Yang beat the assholes up anyway I love her!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER SIX

Back with Velvet. Blessing or curse? Who knows.

Edward and Gus make for an. Interesting duo. This plot hasn’t captured my interest crazy well, and if I didn’t know this was RWBY and such I’d probably pass on it ‘cause it’s pretty... eh, but I do like their Semblances and this could’ve been a pretty decent side-plot thing in the show! Such as in My Hero Academia with, uh, whats-his-name... Eraserhead. I dunno. I’m thinking this was a good idea that hasn’t had enough space to breathe.

Emotions are Flying High and Whomst will be the first to crack like Egg? I am liking the method of raising tempers because everything’s a little sloppier and unpredictable! Also, that’s the end of chapter si-- what? Wait, chapter six was only ten pages? Yeesh.

For all in-tents and porpoises, I am tryna keep track of OOC moments, but having everyone be out-of-sorts is making is pretty hard to track. Rip.

CHAPTER SEVEN, I GUESS?

We’re with Yatsu again, and he’s talking about his Semblance to... make people forget shit! I still don’t know why this is his Semblance, or the use of it anyway, but whatever! I’m in this cart and the horse ain’t stopping until M+K says so!

I’m with Velvet here; why is she constantly being relegated to the backseat? Coco needs to fuckin’ get her shitte together on this front. Even Fox said earlier than he has to stop underestimating her, but they’re still doing it now.

OH MY GOD THERE’S A GRIMM JACKALOPE??? Holy shit I’m losing all of my marbles shouldn’t these guys have, like, other names????????????? No??? Okay!!!!

Battle scene. I’m not hot on combat in writing because I find it. Kinda boring. But it is what it is so I’m speed-running it.

And so ends chapter seven. I’m gonna stop here because. I want to! I feel like this story is very short and it could’ve already had more to it than this faffery in the desert, but that’s just me!!!!!! I guess!!!!!!!!!!! Next time: another flashback to the goddamn dance.

#after the fall #after the fall spoilers #rwby #liveblog #liveread

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starcunning · 5 years

Text

Confession

Here’s the other.

I wanted to take another tilt at the piece I wrote for Day 29 of the 30-Day OTP Challenge in September--“I love you”s. The two are not mutually exclusive, really, but it didn’t quite capture the feeling I wanted it to.

Feel free to consider it a companion piece to “Flow,” though I didn’t write it as one.

This work contains MSQ spoilers for FFXIV through patch 4.4.

Shasi realizes she's in love with Thancred at Praetorium—how else to explain the relief and guilt she feels when the blade of light doesn't kill him?

The first time she puts a name to it is in the Allagan ruins they explore together—a lighter respite from regular duties he has not yet been declared fit for.

Whenever she visits the Waking Sands she comes to see him, to ask how he is. This is the only voice she gives to the ache in her heart: unselfish concern, which he mistakes for mere interest in when he will be restored to fieldwork.

But when he is, he is more closed than before, more guarded. It is her duty and her choice to protect him, and she will, always.

Until it is his to protect her. He is sorry they never got to dance at the Sultana's banquet. It is a debt he claims he will collect another time, but now the Brass Blades bear down on them. She must go, and be gone; the hope of the realm that exists embodied in her own person must survive. She wants to tell him before she flees, but there is no time.

When she hears his cries of pain echo in the sewers she wants to shout her confession back to him, but she has no breath for it. And soon she is alone.

Then she is in the company of others, in the small months of the year, in Coerthas. The Ishgardians are fond of their love festival, and she pours her pain out in ink one morning. She wants to consign the words and the feelings to the pyre—Thancred is dead, and she feels false to him every time she puts her arms around Haurchefant—but she has not the strength.

They are still awaiting her in Camp Dragonhead somewhere. Even now. Even then.

She does not think of them when Thancred re-enters her life in a spray of daggers—protecting her, as he exited it more than a year before. She wants to give vent to the relief she feels—why is he always so close to death? But the timing is all wrong. She will tell him soon, she tells herself.

She will tell him when she returns from the Aetherial Sea; when they are all together again. When things are as they should be.

But when she returns without Minfilia, he goes, and she fears it might be forever. How can she tell him she loves him when he can't stand the sight of her? How can she slip that bond around him when he wants to be gone?

It is not jealousy she feels when she notes the way he looks at Hilda. It is envy. She wants to be a comfort to him, she wants to hold him close, to tell him all that has transpired, to hear from him all that has happened, to be allowed, at last, to love him. Instead they argue. His pain is too near the surface, and calls hers to the fore.

They are ragged edges that will never fit together.

Time wears them down. Time, and horror, and loss; a small blue moon hangs in the sky over Baelsar's Wall. There are a few Ala Mhigan refugees who call it, with irony, Rhalgr's Beacon, for it betokens their destination. The Alliance will march beneath that star, even after the Allagan weapon has chased it from the sky. There is another banquet in the Fragrant Chamber once this is decided. The notion goes that the fete celebrates the official re-entrance of Ishgard into the Eorzean Alliance, but they both know it is a premature victory ball. They dance anyway, only two years late, and she longs to tell him.

They cross the Velodyna; they are driven back; blood sings in her sword-arm when she stands against the Viceroy. Ala Mhigo will not be yielded unto them, and Thancred will not make the long crossing to Doma. Shasi hopes that he and Urianger can be some support to one another—both have dealt with Ascians before; one by force and the other by choice. But in case of shipwreck she means to confess to him anyway.

She does not find him before her ferry departs.

When she returns there is the mission, and Krile missing, and there is the strange mutual fixation that has grown between her and Zenos yae Galvus. Thancred comes and bears witness to this last when she puts the prince under glass. She doesn't know why she asked Urianger to send him. She doesn't know why he came. She only fears he has been hurt, somehow, by his coming; by her phratry—no, her tryst, by then—with a man who had once been her enemy.

They do not speak of it. When she executes Zenos—when she cries, afterward—it's Thancred's arms that catch her. She knows then she has never been false at all. She has loved others, but always him, she understands; too, she understands now is not the time to say so.

She traverses Thanalan and then the wider world. Alone, not alone; with ghosts and spectres and her own mind for company. She and Fray do not talk about Thancred. They do not need to.

When that jaunt is ended, she comes home at last—to her little house in the Goblet. The yard is weeded and the stable is swept and the mail that has piled up beside her door is tidily organized. A little note slipped into the top stack betrays Thancred's involvement, and her heart feels fit to burst.

She returns to Doma and meets with the Ambassador. Asahi sas Brutus claims that none could have loved Zenos more or better than he; Shasi breaks apart a bit at the notion. It has been months, after all, since she first heard the rumor that Zenos was alive, though she felt his blood run over her hands, heard the last breath leave his lungs. When they open the grave and find it empty, Thancred is beside her, which seems almost too much to bear.

It is not what it seems. She knows this in her soul, and yet the ordeal exhausts her. Thancred is going to Garlemald, to hear what might be heard. She would have said nothing, but for Shpoki arranging events otherwise. She is too tired not to be with Thancred anymore.

She can kiss him, touch him; when he is inside of her she has to bury her face against his neck. If she does not mute herself, the words will come spilling out of her, and this she cannot allow. It would mean nothing to say it so carelessly, and this is more than she deserves.

He is gone a while, and she is about her business. They have almost a moon together before Lord Hien arrives for the summit in Ala Mhigo. She has her own rooms, but she does not want them. She wants his. She wakes in the pre-dawn light to see his sleeping face and kiss his brow before she rises, seeking to drive the restlessness from her soul.

Sometimes she wakes in the small hours, and she knows she has been screaming, and he puts his arms around her and reminds her where she is; that she is safe; that she is whole; that she is now. She loves him so much then that she is afraid to speak.

In those blessed weeks they spend together they travel to a city in the depths of the Lochs and to a mountain crowned with stars and they learn every inch of one another, and when she says anything to him at all she carefully examines her words in her mind, turning them over in tiny eternities between the seconds, to be sure she has not told him she loves him by accident.

It is so close to the edge of her lips all the time, it lives on the tip of her tongue, and it is a struggle to keep it trapped behind her teeth. This is her her duty and her choice, for her love is a burden that kills.

At the summit and after, when Thancred is still as a grave in winter, she cannot help but despair. His very soul is missing, she has been told.

A moon’s time of happiness. Was that all they were to be afforded?

They lay him out in the infirmary of the Rising Stones. The strange, aether-tinted light of Mor Dhona streams in through the windows, ethereal on his skin. He is like a prince enchanted. He does not wake, not when she sits down beside him, not when she speaks to him. He will not rise to greet her, does not smile at her. He cannot go to the conservatory and sit at F'lhammin's piano and work out some composition while she reads. These small intimacies are lost to them.

Shasi leans over the bed, lays her head upon the pillow beside his, and feels the selfsame ache she has carried for six years.

i love you, she tells him, though i can't see how that matters now.

Thancred does not wake.

#ff14 #wol/thancred #x'shasi #shasicred #original content #starcunning writes #fanservice friday #thancred waters #ff14 spoilers #stormblood spoilers #4.4 spoilers

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astraeawrites · 7 years

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❝ ※ *. :｡ → verse/otp tags pt. 1

i know there’s a lot of these floating around and already made, but i wanted to have my own list with my personal favorite lyrics that i can refer to for my own tags. i thought it might be helpful to others, so here we are !! under the cut, you’ll find 1,000 different lyrics that are organized into various categories ( general/misc, slow burn, betrayal, unrequited, & more ) based on my interpretation on them. this list has everything from smokey robinson to dear evan hansen to eminem, so it should also be very diverse. trigger warnings will be placed in the categories they have them in. also, some words have been changed so they make more sense. let me know about any spelling mistakes or triggers i may have missed, as well as any lyrics i may have put in the wrong section. please like/reblog if you use or found this helpful, and most importantly, enjoy !!

general/misc. ( 304 lyrics )

tw: religion, blood, drowning, drinking

if we’re diving in the deep end ; i need to share all of my demons

not a care in the world ; just me and my girl

hold back the river ; let me look in your eyes

i don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you

you don't have to be scared you're not enough

i don't need you to fix what i'd rather forget

i give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go

we can just watch the whole world disappear

but call me home and i will build a throne

‘til the sun don’t shine ; you will still be mine

it's not a new wave ; it's just you and me

you make me feel like i am home again

the hole in the middle of my heart needs filling up

if you stay just a little that's enough

lay your head to rest and give yourself some peace

couldn't look you in the eye ; you’re just like an angel

i've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind

i love you like you've never felt the pain

can we stay here and laugh away the fear

i'm waiting to live ; and waiting to love

i want the secrets your secrets haven't found

call me the one ; this night just can't end

lean for me and i'll fall back

when everyone else looks like a wrong answer ; she'll settle for being my best guess

follow my words to the end of our love

come and see me in the morning ; i'll be in the sunrise

it's human and it's tough ; it is love but it won't be enough

oh holy lover ; i'll be the colors i can't see

we’re looking for a miracle ; no we don’t mind waiting

they said that we’d never make it ; but maybe we already did

i think i could need this in my life

there's never much to read between the lines of what we need and what we'll take

you wrap your arms around my heart just like you always do

she held my gaze and i held my breath with all my mind

i found god ; i found him in a lover

i found the devil ; i found him in a lover

i've got a lover ; a love like religion

i've got a lover and i'm unforgiven

i'm such a fool to pay this price

he's off to pay his crimes and he's got no time for mine

oh baby girl you know we're gonna be legends

i'm the king and you're the queen and we will stumble through heaven

if there's a light at the end ; it's just the sun in your eyes

you know the two of us are just young gods

because you're mine ; i walk the line

you give me cause for love that i can't hide

i'll always keep you inside ; you healed my heart and my life

come on skinny love just last the year

you hit me head on ; got me weak in my knees

it's like a million little stars spelling out your name

your sweet disposition and my wide eyed gaze

a million lines for a billion hearts

the only heaven i'll be sent to ; is when i'm alone with you

no grave can hold my body down ; i'll crawl home to her

don't make a sound because i'll be with you the whole way down

and i know it's quite soon but you've got a lovely heart

i hope that you feel it too and a flame follows these sparks

spend the night looking into your eyes because i want to remember them if i ever fall blind

step out into the wild ; there's a beautiful storm in your eyes

but i bought you flowers ; so never let them die

but with your presence and your grace ; everything falls into place

you took my sorrow and you took my pain and buried them away

if i could find my heart inside this empty frozen chest ; then you would find that i'd give you all of it

you cause a thunder in my veins when you're around

so hold my hand before my heart erupts

i think we'd make a lovely mess

i may not be everything you want ; but i can give you all i have

could you be seen with me and still act proud ?

could you carry me through no man's land ?

but i would fight for you ; if you would fight for me

you can set my broken bones and i know cpr

you are the only thing that's right about this broken world

i was meant to be yours ; we were meant to be one

you built me palaces out of paragraphs ; you built cathedrals

why don't you be the artist and make me out of clay ?

why don't you be the writer ? and decide the words I say ?

how long will i love you ? as long as stars are above you

look at the stars ; look how they shine for you

your skin and bones ; turn into something beautiful

science and progress do not speak as loud as my heart

tell me you love me ; come back and haunt me

now i'm running late and i'm not a coffee drinke ; but i lost sleep just thinking of you

a pair of frozen hands to hold

god only knows but you'll never leave her

if you're searching for us ; you'll find us side by side

ihe says i smell like safety and home

i could be a morning sunrise all the time

can you feel the beat of my heartbeat beat through me ?

there's something so rare in your veins ; not a single thing i would change

they said we'd never make it but our hearts won't quit

there's no way that our hearts will be breaking cause all we have is love

it's like a sudden rush of water through your heart and lungs

you lift my heart up when the rest of me is down

set my midnight sorrow free ; i will give you all of me

i don’t always adore it but i know what it means to feel love

don't keep your secrets in a prayer

i would break the laws of gravity ; kill it for you in the first degree

light of my life darling ; we are immune

if i am the waves ; then you must be the moon

come and raise my love in

here in the dark i feel my heart

there are wires in between human heart and machine

everything I love was made of porcelain

you wrote your name in invisible ink

in some things you just can't help from falling

when you break it's too late for you to fall apart

take me away make it all better ; if not for a day then maybe forever

try describing a love you can't design

i want you as the dream ; not the reality

i want you to be a story for me that i can believe in forever

sweet love ; how long before you hurt for me ?

i see your face in blurry shades and i reach out for your hand

all your ways i can't explain but i want to understand

i met someone by accident ; it blew me away

i can fake my heart and i love to watch it burn

does she know that we bleed the same ?

it's a love that will keep me holding on

be my shelter from the storm

at least we'll both be beautiful and stay forever young

i will love you 'til the end of time

heaven is a place on earth with you

your face is like a melody ; it won't leave my head

numb to the winter cold but we don't mind ; 'cause we'll get warm inside

i wake up alone with only daylight between us

still got sand in my sweaters from nights we don't remember

just know you cannot save me

you touch me and suddenly there's rainbow rings

suddenly i'm caught up in your summer rain

hail soft storms of loving me ; let them play on my desires

you're not trusting your heart to anyone

try a little tenderness

find a way to finally make it right ; to make the magic last for more than just one night

take the best and make it better ; find a way to stay together

temperatures rising ; i don't want to feel

please let me love you with all my might

the love game has been played

and love will not break your heart ; but dismiss your fears

i'm a mess but i'm blessed to be stuck with you

if i may just take your breath away

i just want to see the stars with you

too long till i drown in your hands

my youth is yours ; run away now and forevermore

we've been making shades of purple out of red and blue

sickeningly sweet like honey

you're a red string tied to my finger

you're my favorite song ; always on the tip of my tongue

you own me with whispers like poetry ; your mouth is a melody i memorize

forget me not my dear ; my darling

let's write a song for us and sing until we're old and grey

like my heart longs for an ocean ; to wash down over me

the outcast dreams of acceptance ; just to find pure love's embrace

i remember the promises in the name of love

i'll kiss you again between the bars

i can plainly see you have a lover that's waiting

i swear your heart is a free bird

so hard to hold back when i'm holding you in my arms

just a touch of the fire burning so bright

you're a poem of mystery

you're the prayer inside me

spoken words like moonlight ; you're the voice that i like

love is waiting for better days

tonight we're the sea and the salty breeze

moon in a tidal lock ; and i was born to love you

there is music in the sea ; and we swim into the sound

love is made for broken things

trying to keep ourselves alone and out of sight

love was made to forget

the crown of love is falling from me

let the wave and your ocean fall on my shore

i want to be the place that you land

but when i'm with you ; you make the rain fall

when I'm with you ; i feel the sun

hold me close ; like i’m the sun to your moon

come around to another time when you don't have to run

it's your love affair ; on a quiet sunday afternoon

even the best fall down sometimes

you finally find that you and i collide

the days got colder ; so i held you closer

stayed around to kindle the fire

won't ever leave you ; ‘til the day that you die

i know love is never lost

worry never knows

feel my chest when i look at you

do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand ?

it's not the storm before the calm

this is the deep and dying breath of this love that we've been working on

can't seem to hold you like i want to ; so i can feel you in my arms

we are hiding in a safer place

your warmth is crashing down on in

it's never gonna be that simple

i swear you hit me like a vision

this is how it starts ; lightning strikes the heart

we could be the stars ; falling from the sky

from nervous touch and getting drunk

we can't leave us behind anymore

love me now or love me later

there's depth where there's distance too

i'm a fool for you ; and the things you do

you told me i was like the dead sea ; you'll never sink when you are with me

honey can't you see ? i was born to be your dead sea

i belong with you ; you belong with me ; you're my sweetheart

if we don't leave this town ; we might never make it out

and when you ask do you love me ; i should reply with yes most certainly

come close ; lay next to me

won't you settle down with me ?

hear her come ; my heart's only drummer

your love is like a soldier ; loyal till you die

show me your broken heart to know your flaws

i know what we are ; our love's too young

my foolish heart turns at the stars

a love that never ends

your heart is upside down

you are my fairytale ; don't you wanna stay ?

you are my fairytale ; i hope that you don't run away

for the fire and the sleepless nights

i can hold the weight of worlds if that's what you need

found you in the sea of lovers without ships

wherever you go ; bring me home

how can i love when i'm afraid to fall ?

i have loved you for a thousand years

baby if you hold me ; then all of this will go away

i loved you then and i love you now

god knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts

if you're homesick ; give me your hand and i'll hold it

we lie beneath the stars at night ; our hands gripping each other tight

you keep my secrets hope to die

promises ; swear them to the sky

just turn to my embrace ; i won't let you come to nothing

can you hear when i say i have never felt this way ?

can i make it better with the lights turned on ?

i'll cross oceans like never before so you can feel the way i feel it too

and i'll send images back at you so you can see the way i feel it too

when my heart is made from gold and forgiveness seems too bold

i still find it in my heart to say " i love you "

you don’t have to act like you're alone

you’re finding ways to break the bonds ; they’re stronger than you realize

there's an angel ; and he's shaped like you

fallen so far ; said you'd watch over my heart

held me so close i could hardly breathe

if your heart was full of love could you give it up ?

looking from a window above ; it's like a story of love

it's been so long since i touched a wanting hand

i can't put my love on the line that ; i hope you'll understand

i'm tired of getting caught up in those one night affairs

what i need is somebody who will always be there

if you're looking for devotion ; talk to me

come with your heart in your hands because my love is guaranteed

through a crowded room ; look at me like you know me

ain't it funny how a second lasts forever when we're together ?

i might get enough one day but i won't let this feeling fade away

i know it won't stop if we turn the love up

i'll make you stay ; don't let this feeling fade away

i'm gonna take you outta the darkness

i wanna walk with you in the light and hold your head high

you’re the only thing i know ; but it feels so far away

long gone and fallen down ; but i'm loving how it tastes

i could've chosen anybody ; but i chose you

daddy don't like you ; but daddy and i never speak

smells like roses to me ; two young lovers at sea

it's like my lungs are opening for the first time

you got through my guard when i was in safety mode

you're burning down my walls like the miami sun

it finally feels like i'm coming home

i met you in the dark ; you lit me up

you made me feel as though i was enough

darling ; your love is more than worth its weight in gold

i wanna live with you ; even when we're ghosts

you walked into the room and now my heart's been stolen

you took me back in time to when i was unbroken ; now you're all i want

i swear that every word you sing ; you wrote them for me

when the lights come on and i'm on my own ; will you be there to sing it again ?

you could tell me everything and then we could forget it

we're only skin and bone ; we don't have to be alone

sink or swim ; what will it be ?

we all got skeletons ; set them free

so tell me everything ; take a trip to the moon

let me love the lonely out of you

let me love the pain you're going through

we can light a fire to warm our bones

this world is much too cold to sleep alone

i never knew your name ; you never knew mine either

never leave me broken hearted ; baby i’m not strong enough

empty glances and no romance

if " i love you " was a promise would you break it ?

the only love i haven't screwed up

can't stop staring at those ocean eyes

fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes

i'm scared i've never fallen from quite this high

i wanna steal your soul and hide you in my treasure chest

i don't know what feels true ; but this feels right so stay a sec

you're all i wanted ; just let me hold you like a hostage

cross my heart and hope to die ; i’ll see you with your laughter lines

memories are mapped out by the lines we'll trace

but this is your heart ; can you feel it ?

drawing voices deep from you ; led by your beating heart

a wonderful part of the mess that we made ; we pick ourselves undone

but you had me at ‘ goodbye ’

i loved you ; what am i supposed to do ?

i look for ways to say i love you ; but i ain’t into making love songs

used to shine so bright but i watched all of it fade

been wondering if your hearts still open and if so i wanna know what time it shuts

we found love in a hopeless place

maybe in time you’ll be mine

two blue hearts locked in our wrong minds

contradictions/paradoxes. ( 25 lyrics )

and side by side ; we're different but somehow the same

i love your brain but i hate your guts

you've been burning bridges while i've been building homes

he said he didn't do commitment ; with tattoos on his skin

you hold me without touch ; you keep me without chains

and you sound like thunder ; though you've barely spoken

no right minds could wrong be this many times

you kept all the things i threw away

i was full of doubt and you believed

this time i'm gonna slow it down 'cause i think this could be more

you've got eyes that can tear me down ; but all they do is build me up

you're the light ; you're the night

you're the cure ; you're the pain

it's not that easy with you here but i know i want you to stay

see you distract me but i'm distracted without you

can we just say the rest with no sound

you enchant me even when you're not around

you swear to god but i'm a non-believer

you're losing faith while i've been holding on

when everything we used to say was wrong is now alright

we are bound to each other's hearts ; cold and pulled apart

i've missed you but i haven't met you

but i'm open ; you're closed

even the wrong words seem to rhyme

i don't gamble ; but if i did i would bet on us

slow burn/friends to lovers. ( 47 lyrics )

all i want is to flip a switch ; before something breaks that cannot be fixed

i could offer you a warm embrace ; to make you feel my love

i could hold you for a million years ; to make you feel my love

what if I lose my heart and fail the climb ?

barely even friends ; then somebody bends unexpectedly

so don't you tell me that you're falling for me now

teach me to be somebody new

you told me all your darkest fears and i fell apart

why did you have to let me let you in ?

what if we ruin it all and we love like fools ?

i'm fighting not to feel but nothing works

i can see all the things that imply ; you secretly are in love

paint me in trust ; i'll be your best friend

you love the chase but hate me for the runaround

open up next to you and my secrets become your truth

i could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes

come out of hiding ; i'm right here beside you

you do not see what i see inside; the quiet heart you're trying to hide

i'll be damned if i do it ; damned if i don't

i'll be lost if i love him ; lost if i won't

all we do is think about the feelings that we hide

sick and full of pride ; all we do is drive

the more that i know you ; the more I want to

oh feel our bodies grow and our souls they blend

they say a problem shared is a problem cut in two

i can't figure you out ; you've got more fight in you than anybody else

i let you see the parts of me that weren't all that pretty ; and with every touch you fixed them

trust in me ; don't pull away

can't keep this beating heart at bay

we hide our emotions under the surface and try to pretend

with words unspoken ; a silent devotion

friends can break your heart too

longing to love you for one night

take my hand ; you're treading water

darling so it goes ; some things are meant to be

though you will not wait for me ; i'll wait for you

we've been lonely too long

i’ll shoulder the load ; and i’ll swallow the shame

looking for love in the lies of a lonely friend

you're raveled up ; you take some time to come undone

i never wanna fall apart ; never wanna break your heart

tired of holding this inside my head

here in silence ; it's just you and me

the vacancy that sat in my heart is a space that now you hold

i will always be listening for your laughter and your tears

you have to trust in someone

it takes awhile to settle down

reliant/dependent. ( 43 lyrics )

tw: drowning, anxiety, codependency

you are the piece of me i wish i didn’t need

take what you like but close my ears and eyes

we'll learn how to be to be incomplete

said you'd always be my white blood ; circulate the right love

watch how a cold broken teen will desperately lean on a super glued human of proof

i never wanted anything so much ; than to drown in your love

i got issues and one of them is how bad i need you

every second here without you ; feels like the division of the heart

wherever i've been ; i'll come running back to you

take my weak heart and tie it to yours

i promised myself i wouldn't let you complete me

before i met you i never felt good enough

you are the one who'd make me lose it all

long were the nights when my days once revolved around you

counting my footsteps ; praying the floor won’t fall through again

i forget about you long enough ; to forget why i needed you

love i have wounds ; only you can mend

and I'd rather choke than to breathe in your absence

'cause i am living for your touch but i would die to be your man

only you can set my heart on fire

it's not warm when she's away

i will run to you to you till ; i can't stand on my own anymore

if your heart wears thin i will hold you up

waiting for you to bring me in from out the cold

there's nothing i can do i'm helpless without you

you're always there to hold me up when i'm losing my mind

we're no good without each other ; take the best and make it better

when you're gone ; all the colours fade

anxious love gets so obsessed

i'm tangled up in you

show me how to fight for now

i'm desperate for your adoration

this love is tainted ; i need you and i hate it

remain next to me ; i need to feel important

certain it's your love that holds me together

i want you by my side so that i never feel alone again

keep the bad things out of my mind

i still want to drown whenever you leave

please teach me gently on how to breathe

all you crave is attention ; you need to be loved

help me get better ; you pull me right out of the blue

every night when i wake up i need you to get back to sleep

i think i've saved myself by saving you

ex/heartbreak. ( 217 lyrics )

tw: drugs, scars, suffocation

it was funny that she would have to stay and i would go

but when you love someone sometimes you've gotta let them go

don’t you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow

it might never be the right time and that's the hardest part of it

i keep you in my mind even though you've gone

holding on to nothing's easier than letting go

stuck in the memory of what has been

just please don't love another like you loved me

time doesn't heal ; it just leaves me asking why

fall in love in a single touch ; and fall apart when it hurts too much

i lit a fire with the love you left behind

i don't want us to break up in the cloud

i'm trying not to think about you ; can't you just let me be ?

should've known you'd bring me heartache ; almost lovers always do

i thought i broke the last of that breakdown

i'm in california dreaming about who we used to be

you and i have history ; or don't you remember ?

i braved a hundred storms to leave you

you left with no goodbye ; not a single word was said

not a single word was said ; no final kiss to seal any sins

don't you remember the reason you loved me before ?

i wished you the best of all this world could give

tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery

i'm jealous of the way you're happy without me

i heard it in your voice when your love died

is losing me such a big relief ?

let's start at the end ; becoming strangers once again

i think i lost myself the day you left

but how can it all change so fast ; from everything to nothing just like that ?

i watched our bodies turn to ghosts

if only i could lose my mind ; then maybe i would find a way out

i don't know how emptiness can be this heavy

what if i said i would break your heart ?

as i break your heart and sever mine

i'm holding on ; but my body's caving in

i'll still feel you here ; 'til the moment i'm gone

leave unsaid unspoken ; eyes wide shut unopened

hang my head ; break my heart built from all i have torn apart

i'm just a basket case without you

i don't miss your cocaine i got blood and honey

i hope to burn away the sight of you

i'm awakened and my heart's bled

i can't sleep without the lights on ; it's like i'm broken when you're gone

if you're gone ; maybe it's time to come home

love is a buried nail inside of this heart of stone

i can't muster up the courage to say it's best that i leave

my human heart won't mend itself ; when my own two hands are ripping out the seams

you touched me and suddenly i was a lilac sky ; you decided purple just wasn't for you

tell me it's over i'll still love you the same

tell me it's over ; i don't want you to hurt

what didn't kill me ; it never made me stronger at all

and i don't get waves of missing you anymore ; they're more like tsunami tides

it's been a while but i still feel the same ; maybe i should let you go

something's gone terribly wrong you're all i wanted

i feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe

six months gone and i'm still reaching even though i know you're not there

when time stood still and i had you

i've been waiting for you ; ever since you've been gone

i know it's long gone ; and that magic's not here no more

you taught me about your past thinking your future was me

maybe we got lost in translation ; maybe i asked for too much

maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up

you call me up again just to break me like a promise

so casually cruel in the name of being honest

back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

and right before your eyes i'm breaking

you wear your best apology ; but i was there to watch you leave

this is the last time i say it's been you all along

this is the last time ; i won't hurt you anymore

don't wanna miss you like this

cause i just railed down enough lines tonight to spell your first and last name

it's all because i dreamt of you and woke up alone

a fool to let you slip away

same old empty feeling in your heart ; love comes slow and it goes so fast

i wanna cry and i wanna love ; but all my tears have been used up

i thought that i'd been hurt before ; but no one's ever left me quite this sore

our veins are busy but my heart's in atrophy

it's such a shame that we can't renew all those feelings that we shared

maybe we’re better off alone

when you're awake and your own shadows turn into ghosts

heavy words are hard to take ; under pressure precious things can break

fools rush in and i've been the fool before

you made me high then you swooped so low

i was on your side but then i saw it change

his feelings are crushed like rock salt on the table

i wouldn't change any part of me ; just to make you stay

when you leave ; i'm begging you not to go

looking for some proof that there's a heart inside of me

you stole the matches from my book ; put out the fire in my eyes

but your love's too good to lose

i hate to think about you with somebody else

our love has gone cold

maybe i've been putting my heart out in the wrong way

we're not who we used to be

i hold on ; it's getting harder to breathe

sometimes the one you want is not the one you need

spare you the rising storms and let the rivers flow

you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt

no words can explain the way i'm missing you

this house no longer feels like home

sweet love my oldest friend ; have we come to the bitter end ?

too many years of battle scars and now we're broken

the higher we rise ; the further we fall

when my breath runs cold ; i'll be thinking about you

we've become echoes ; but echoes that fade away

it's only been a lifetime ; but tonight you're a stranger or some silhouette

oh the good time we almost never had

emptied out my inside ; poured it on the ground

so cut me baby ; deep enough so that the scar will stay

i will never erase your name from my heart

where hope is left so incomplete

sever the ties ; cut me out

i lay in tears in bed all night ; alone without you by my side

you hesitate ; so my memory fades

it feels like there's oceans between me and you once again

i sedate my mind with hope of your return

throw me in a landfill ; don't think about the consequences

leave me at the altar ; knowing all the things you just escaped

leave me in the cold ; wait until the snow covers me up

from the perfect start to the finish line

my eyes are damp from the words you left

so why do you fill my sorrow with the words you've borrowed

and why do you sing hallelujah ; if it means nothing to you

i don't wanna waste the weekend ; if you don't love me pretend

to show all the ways my heart is slowly shattering for you

i've got this ache inside my heart ; i know that it's you

i’ll drown in my tear storming sea

it’s such a shame ; to let you walk away

the end comes too soon ; like dreaming of angels

your memory near ; laced with the pain

i always knew you'd be the one to break me down

they say you don't know what you got 'til it's too late ; i'm already gone

feeling used ; but i'm still missing you

untouchable memories seemed to keep haunting me

closed off from love ; i didn't need the pain

my heart's crippled by the vein that i keep on closing

my heart stumbles on things i don't know ; my weakness i feel i must finally show

how could you love me and leave me and never say goodbye ?

i never thought we'd end up here in separate cages

i smell heartbreak on my hands

trying to replace the love that i fake with what we both need

there's a heart stain on the carpet i left it with you

there are flowers growing on the grave of our old love

just burn it all down and bring the ashes to me

we can never seem to find the time we lost

now i'm denied by the ghost of you

a photograph lost here ; since you were mine

such a victim of her romance

we were young stubborn & in love with disaster

i don't wanna lose you now

now we're slipping at the edge ; holding something we don't need

all this delusion in our heads is gonna bring us to our knees

trying to fit your hand inside of mine when we know it just don't belong

there's no force on earth that could make it feel right

let the ashes fall ; forget about me

we grow apart ; i watch you on the red horizon

this fragile heart ; so heavy in my chest ; it's breaking

i can't make the truth of this work out for you or me

little ghost ; you're not welcome here anymore

what i've learned is love's a lesson

i will blame myself for holding on to what i hoped would keep you by my side

the sheets are stained with ; memories of your soft kiss

what if we became strangers ?

there's another dawning ; a tremor where we stood

are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you ?

can we pretend that everything is like yesterday ?

let's pretend we never met ; a good excuse to play forget

when i’m looking for love i pretend it's you

you're gone and i gotta stay high all the time ; to keep you off my mind

oh why can i not conquer love ?

you did not break me ; i'm still fighting for peace

spend my time trying to read our past

it was easy for you to let go ; but i'm still in love with you

let the time fly by like the wind and open our hearts again

broken lover yes i made you believe that i would be the one to heal you

you wish i would've treated you like you treated me

don't you know i'm not your ghost anymore ?

you lost the love i loved the most

i learned to live half alive ; and now you want me one more time

collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart

you don't get to get me back

envision the meaning of a tragedy ; you might be surprised to hear it's you and me

your words in my head ; knives in my heart

you build me up and then i fall apart 'cause i'm only human

your face is ashen and i'm barely listening

i am a visitor here ; i am not permanent

maybe i had said something that was wrong

fall back in love eventually

the bigger you get the harder you fall

you disappeared and that's all that's missing

your love was so real and too late to forget how you made me feel

you were mine but you've grown so cold

held me in the dark ; sheltered as you took my heart

i know you could see i was lost in you

so take my heart ; it's all that's left

sometimes the tears we cry are more than any heart can take

heartbreaks and promises ; i've had more than my share

i'm tired of giving my love ; and getting nowhere

we're falling down ; and i show you how it breaks

i could read you a scripture of tears

you have gone and so effortlessly

there was a time when our love ; it was so sweet

i’m falling into darkness and it’s you i need to see

now i’m a ghost ; i call your name ; you look right through me

i've been trying to fix my pride but that shit's broken

feels like my loneliness is only blessed from you

i don’t know how to be something you miss

fall apart twice a day ; i just wish you could feel what you say

we've made every mistake ; only you know the way that i break

says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm

he left her lonely with a diamond mind

another story of girl meets boy and gets destroyed

he's okay ; she's broken ; he's the ocean wave ; she's choking

the things we lost in the fire

our fingers traced in circles round its history

will i always have a cut that won’t heal

oh honey ; do you want me now ?

betrayal/cheating/disappointment. ( 76 lyrics )

there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

i don't need more reminders of all that's been broken

lay down with me ; tell me no lies

find it harder to forgive; every time you let us slip down your list of priorities

forgive me ; i'm just so fucked up in the head

little do you know i'm still haunted by the memories

i'm ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight

i'm queen of attention to detail ; defending intentions if he fails

i never meant to be the one to let you down

just say you're sorry ; no more no less

i want the one word that you refuse to say to me

i know that i failed you

then take my love and run it to the stars 'cause i'm falling apart

the right words come out all wrong

it'll all be forgiven ; you can't ask for more

i'm hoping you could save me now but you break and fold

call me a sinner ; call me a saint

cut out all the ropes and let me fall

please be kind to my mistakes

when you take ; you take the very best of me

don't put your eyes down ; you're not to blame

tell me pretty lies ; look me in the face

your words cut deeper than a knife

another's hands have touched my skin ; i won't tell him where i've been

she never asked me once about the wrong i did

and every thought of her makes my regret grow worse

when you’re in her i know i’m in your head

soon it will all be over and buried with our past

just a second we're not broken just bent ; and we can learn to love again

i'll stay if i'm what you choose

i am damaged far too damaged ; but you're not beyond repair

you forfeit all rights to my heart

take me in and throw out my heart and get a new one

you're intertwining your soul with somebody else

and i know this isn't enough ; i still don't measure up

you caused my heart to bleed and you still owe me a reason

a wind in the shadow ; a whale song in the deep

i can't say your name without feeling like i’m part of the blame

tell me you've never loved me ; tell me that it wasn't real

there's blood on your lies

the blame that you claim is all your own fault

you give me no reason to doubt your word ; but i still somehow still have my reasons

still i sleep in the very sheets he's been in

secrets i have held in my heart are harder to hide than i thought

you’re too proud to say that you’ve made a mistake

i am a hit and run ; don’t call me something i’m not

wish you were sorry for the things you've done

when love and trust are gone

i struggle to find any truth in your lies

the truth runs wild ; like a tear down a cheek

all my time is wasted ; feeling like my heart's mistaken

wish you were the one that got away

perhaps you can not forgive me

the promises you'll only make

maybe we don't deserve love

right from wrong is not quite seen

i've had enough of giving up on you

if your heart was somehow tainted ; how you could still sleep in my bed ?

you were wrong for trusting me

you can hide behind your stories ; but don't take me for a fool

forgive and forget you a thousand times

behind the tears ; inside the lies

tell me that all we had were lies

sometimes this love will end and all will be forgotten

i’ve let you down ; left you behind

you say that it's alright and i know that it’s a lie

pretend ; tell me all your love lies again

cast your shadows ; like how you said you'd catch me but let me go

beautiful lies ; cover my eyes with your hands

falling out of love is hard ; falling for betrayal is worse

broken trust and broken hearts ; i know

it ain't the lie ; it's the way that the truth is denied

i know it’s all wrong ; but i just don’t feel strong

everything is shattering and it’s my mistake

another promise broken in two ; the lucky few of fiction

when loneliness came and you were away

sexual/lust/nsfw. ( 25 lyrics )

tw: nsfw, drugs, scars

i can't take my eyes off you

she held my heart with her tongue

your lips hang heavy underneath me

there's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs

i can read your mind even from behind

biting in the dark i might break your heart

i can get you high if you wanna climb

your heart's against my chest ; your lips pressed to my neck

i was made to keep your body warm

i'll do anything you say if you say it with your hands

i only wanna do bad things to you

scars on my body so i can take you wherever

so warm is your touch upon my skin

if we're gonna do anything we might as well just fuck

tastes so sweet ; looks so real

a cavern for a body ; the deeper darker kind

i only love it when you touch me ; not feel me

you only ever touch me in the dark

if i had only felt the warmth within your touch

'cause when you look like that i've never ever wanted to be so bad

your body is a wonderland

it's always skin then sheets ; then skin again

i don't believe in love at first sight ; i believe in making love tonight

i want you all to myself ; your metaphorical gin and juice

give me a taste of what it's like to be next to you

friends with benefits. ( 32 lyrics )

tw: blood, alcohol

sometimes best laid plans sometimes are just a one night stand

in the middle of the night i may watch you go

i won't let you close enough to hurt me

morning will come and i'll do what's right ; just give me ‘til then to give up this fight

i need you to not wanna be mine

we were running off our midnight mouths

you just want somebody ; t's just the lonely talking

keep my body busy so my head might just forget what my heart knows

been chasing temporary highs and strangers

it's like we're scared of getting good ; cause we know the truth is that we could

don't you think it's time to get used to somebody ?

and don't call me lover ; it's not enough

i've been so lonely ; oh please just hold me

one last time ; i need to be the one who takes you home

i can't find you in the body sleeping next to me

you've got your own mistakes in a bed at home

maybe tonight i'll call you ; after my blood turns into alcohol

you loved me last night ; but what about today ?

i find myself swallowed ; drowning in your heat

when you sleep ; will it be with me ?

this bed was never made for two

these nights never seem to go to plan

in the lonely hour i need you

we could be anything tonight ; just tell me everything you like

bring your love baby i could bring my shame

fucked around and got attached to you

i'd rather fuel a fantasy than deal with this alone

swim in a deep sea of blankets

every time i wake up here i feel far away from love

guess the loneliness came knocking

midnight hearts between now and yesterday

i am just your habit for killing time

toxic. ( 174 lyrics )

tw: weapons, religion, emotional masochism, blood, drowning, scars, killers, mutilation, body harm, guns, weapons, spiders, abuse, suffocation

i don’t own a single gun ; but if i did you’d be the one

you and i nursing on a poison that never stung

i don’t wanna hurt you ; but you live for the pain

but in all chaos ; there is calculation

swear to god i'm a sinner in a church burnin' up for you

we're both cynics now and it kills me

you'd be the reason why i keep slipping

let's destroy a room with this love

god only knows what we're fighting for

all that i say ; you always say more

under your thumb ; i can't breathe

blood red scars ; you were the one to choose this

kiss me ; whilst i set fire to our bed

this was never love ; it was chaos

i hope that you don't bleed with me

i can finally see ; you're as fucked up as me

time and hearts will wear us thin

something always brings me back to you

i don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity

the one thing that i still know is that you're keeping me down

a simplification of everything we're going through ; you plus me is bad news

if i stay it ain't gonna be easy

all your stormy words have barely broken

you and me ; always between the lines

i'm not an open book that you can rifle through

i could love you just like that and i could leave you just as fast

maybe it's the worst in me ; that's bringing out the worst in you

the best in me wants to love you ; but the worst in me doesn't want to

we've got blood and honey

you were everything that i was ever afraid of

you're an itch i can't reach ; a wound that won't heal

Sometimes i wish that you'd just die ; cause i'm too afraid of leaving

he's the sweet of a morning kiss ; but there's a poison it holds

you can tear down all the walls 'cause they're all for you my dear

my faith is strong and i need to know if i've judged this wrong

i made my clothes with the lies she spun

there's a storm you're starting now

throw me in the deep end ; watch me drown

you put a fever inside me ; and i’ve been cold since you left

you've got a fire inside but your heart's so cold

oh baby girl don't get cut on my edges

you do what you want cause i'm not what you wanted

counting all the scars you made

you paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain

you and i walk a fragile line ; i have known it all this time

this slope is treacherous ; this path is reckless

all we are is skin and bone ; trained to get along

sedated we're nursing on a poison that never stung

you pull me out of my shell and then hate me when i'm done

we said some things we didn’t mean ; with us there is no in between

when did our hearts will turn to stone ?

it's just i'd rather be causing the chaos than laying at the sharp end of this knife

your mouth is poison ; your mouth is wine

oh your hands can heal ; your hands can bruise

right from the start you were a thief you stole my heart ; and i your willing victim

'cause i'd rather fight with you than laugh with another

i'd rather freeze in your arms than be warm under covers

and i'd let you hit me before i ever let you hit the floor

i'd rather feel your wrath than feel another's passion

feel your precious poison start to fill its maker's veins

we'll burn it down and then we'll build the world again ; our love is god

we'll burn away that tear and raise our city here

the new world needed room for me and you

we got the fire and we're burning one hell of a something

we're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me

she's driving me crazy ; but I'm into it

love is thick like blood like honey

i know it's hard sometimes but we could be beautiful

when you throw me in the ground don't be sorry

face me if you dare ; cause nothing comes out easy love

it must be so hard ; in the mess you're always cleaning up

you came running and stood there silent ; summoning my sin

this love ; is like wildfire

gave you a minute when you needed an hour

i’ll love you til we're black and we're blue

the hole in my head is from the fire in your tongue

you got a fetish for my love ; i push you out and you come right back

the fight for you is all i've ever known

to say that we're in love is dangerous

he hit me and it felt like a kiss

our difference showed in our poisons

how is it you never notice ; that you are slowly killing me ?

you short circuit all my nerves ; promising electric pains

you got me scattered in pieces ; shining like stars and screaming

but then you disappear and make me wait

there's a million reasons why i should give you up ; but the heart wants what it wants

just set my heart on fire ; like gasoline

she's the absinthe on my lips ; the splinter in my fingertips

don’t take that sinner from me

the killer in me is the killer in you

i love this pain a little too much ; love my heart all busted up

carved your name across my eyelids ; you pray for rain & i pray for blindness

your name is the splinter inside me

no pleasure without sacrifice

i wanna see the devil in your eyes

we're slow dancing in a burnin' room

nobody's gonna come and save you ; we pulled too many false alarms

bombs are falling everywhere ; it's heartbreak warfare

no one really ever wins in heartbreak warfare

how come the only way to know how high you get me is to see how far i fall ?

watch my face as i pretend to feel no pain

lay your weapon down

to teeth and claws and slamming doors at you

when we're becoming something else ; i think it's time to walk away

your love is like a hurricane

ransom notes keep falling out your mouth

she'll tear a hole in you ; the one you can't repair

it's better to feel pain than nothing at all

your words are like knives ; they peel my skin and pierce my soul

your body will burn tonight ; though your heart may still remain cold

it's your eyes that i don't believe and my heart you will you will mislead

careless love ; quit pouring honey in my ears

i must carry on with this wasted love

careless love ; there's more to say than should be said

you make me feel so powerless

the air in your lungs is like thunder ; i can see the clouds breaking in front of me

the air in my lungs is like thunder ; and i can't fight what you've made of me

worlds are turning and we're just hanging on

your mouth is a revolver firing bullets in the sky

stab my heart ; bleeding out if you feel doubt about me loving you

well i've got thick skin and an elastic heart ; but your blade might be too sharp

she will love you like a twister ; and you'll be swept away

the tale of reckless love ; living a life of crime on the run

we swore that death will do us part ; they'll call our crimes a work of art

we live as ghosts among these street ; lovers and partners in crime

you'll collapse on the cover of your darkness ; strangling with feelings

i used to write with tears on your pretty painted face

i won't be made a fool of ; don't call this love

guess he kissed the girls and made them cry

it's a terrible love and i'm walking with spiders

it's a terrible love and i'm walking in

it's a terrible love ; and i'm walking in it's quiet company

my shivered bones wait til the panics out

the way you play on every weakness that you see in me

so don’t pretend like you can hardly breathe ; like it’s down to me

i feel your knife as it goes right in

cut to my core but i'm not bleeding

you use your words as a weapon dear

your blades don't hurt when you have no fear

you think that you're deep under my skin ; you're trying to keep me suffering

you have my heart but i lock it up ; this burning flame has been burnt enough

sometimes i wish we could be strangers ; so i didn't have to know your pain

but if i kept myself from danger this emptiness would feel the same

you see those egg shells ; they're broken up

i'll feel half empty ; ripped and torn

can we just pretend that we're not falling into the deep end ?

this can't be love if it hurts so much

our human hearts forget how strong they are

untie my silhouette ; it's all that is left of a broken heart

leave all of my regrets to sink like ship wrecks through oceans dark

if this is what dreams are made of then i think that i've seen enough

let me out into the dark ; i took a little step too far

we hurt ; just keep it inside ; small wonder that it starts to break

and everything you once loved remains unbroken

just pretend we're better ; turn out the light

there are no more surprises to come ; let's be numb together

is it wrong to dance this line ?

the doctors say you're no good

we're dancing on the edge of a knife

could i be your hero or your villain ?

shall we eat all the poison and leave all the questions behind ?

all the chemicals and alcohol make for a volatile love

i never wanna lose you ; but i feel that this closeness will tear us apart

if there is one thing that Ii'm guilty of It's loving and giving when you take too much

it ain't the knife ; it's the way that you use it

you've been killing me softly and finally the pain is too much

i'm all out of whisky to soak up the damage you've done

you're the one to blame ; you hold a smoking gun

we only talk when things go wrong

loving you the way i do ; it hurts

she's so hard to please ; she's a forest fire

you're a little much for me ; you're a liability

i was the match and you were the rock ; maybe we started this fire

carpet burns on my elbows ; the marks on your neck ; they the trophies of our love

unrequited. ( 47 lyrics )

and the things that keep us apart keep me alive

i can't make you love me if you don't

i'll close my eyes ; because then i won't see the love you don't feel

you can't make your heart feel somethin' that it won't

do you know how it feels to crave a body made of steel ?

you won't even notice that i'm gone

you consume my thoughts ; i'm not sure that i'm in yours at all

i desperately still want someone who never wanted me

we're in too deep ; so let go of my hand

maybe i wasn't worth the pain

and all i'm thinking about is not thinking about you

funny how the hurt is never equal when it all falls

if i told you solitude fits me like a glove would you let me out ?

i tell myself all the words he surely meant to say

take my best wishes if you won't take me with you

i'm searching for something that i can't reach

i'm reaching out and i just can't tell you why i'm caught up in you

tell me that you love me even if it's fake

it could be better if i kept it to myself

this meant more to you than it did to me

just please don't say you love me ; cause i might not say it back

they say the heart only wants what it can't have ; so i guess your hand in mine will never fit

but if i can't have you i'll walk this life alone

in the dead of night ; i'll meet you in my sleep

i want all that is not mine

i would rather learn what it feels like to burn than feel nothing at all

i wish you had words to cool this fever that is killing me

only ever in dreams i wrap my arms around you

what's the point in playing a game you're gonna lose ?

you rest your bones somewhere far from my own

i needed love but it's never the same

i'm sick and tired of loving you more

i'm not what you wanted ; i'm not what you need

please don't tell me you want me ; please don't say you do

i'd love to reciprocate your love but i'm incapable

you say you love me so much ; but i don't want your love

i gave my all ; but i think my all may have been too much

but in reality ; your love will never be

you deserve forever ; not a boy looking for better

like ships in the night ; you keep passing me by

i’m no longer what you require

i adore you ; but there's a hole in the cup that should hold your love

dreaming with a broken heart

it's never the same if you don't feel it too

the opposite of love's indifference

is there not enough to use your love for me ?

you don’t know how i fight for you and believe in your aims

forbidden. ( 10 lyrics )

the words that you whispered for just us to know

put your lips close to mine ; as long as they don't touch

what a sad beautiful tragic love affair

i'm wanting you but can't go back

i don't have a choice but i'd still choose you

this is dangerous 'cause i want you so much

hanging our hearts in disgrace

for a chance to be with you ; i'd gladly risk it all

just a longing ; gone without a trace

begging for the slightest touch

#rph #rpt #otp tags #verse tags #otp masterlist #m #m:ml #rp #rp:masterlist #y'all better rb this shit #took me forever ok

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