#or sit around scrolling through tumblr or pinterest. there's nothing to do except just sit there and rot like i do every day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

halleyuhm · 6 months

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You want to write.

@flashfictionfridayofficial

It shouldn't be that hard: you simply need to sit down, and type. In fact, you are already sitting down. But you are scrolling down on Tumblr, once again, reading about your mutual's amazing works, and their compelling plots, and their amazing characters, and- You stop. No, you promised yourself you would work on your project today. It excites you, you have had it itching on your mind while you were busy, and now that you are free, alone in your room and with the whole afternoon for yourself, you can finally scratch that itch.

You quit Tumblr. The calendar Widget accuses you, looking at you with all the tasks that are still marked red throughout the week, a parade of errands, deadlines, and appointments that stretch along the month. Feeling your anxiety kick in, you make sure nothing is as urgent as to keep you distracted today. Nothing is. Except maybe that hang out with your friends this Saturday: you still haven't checked the public transport schedule. Quickly, you type your destination and calculate which is the best bus to take. Most options are good enough, but you opt for the one that will let you eat peacefully and still catch the bus with no hurry. Having decided, you get into your friend's group chat and let them know you will be there at 15:30. When the new message makes the others move, you notice how old your wallpaper is. It annoys you.

You slip into your Photo Album and scroll around in search of a new wallpaper. Nothing convinces you. Most are too bright for your liking, and not very aesthetic. Pinterest is the solution. Your recommended page catches your eye for a second, but you power through because you have already lost enough time, and you are here on a quest. Or you would be, if not for the fact you just found a picture that just summarized the feeling of your project in a single image. You save it to your pin board, and a tiny lightbulb lights up in your mind. You could craft a moodboard. The image you found is perfect, you may be able to put something together. There were these pictures at the beginning of the board that could look amazing in the corners. Maybe downloading them and heading over to PicsArt will do the trick.

It looks great after some mingling. You choose pics, delete others, and manage to put together a moodboard you are very proud of. So you head over to Tumblr to post it, format the post to look amazing and spend some time tagging funny quotes. You wonder if you should add more Easter Eggs, but after reflecting on it, you post it as it is. Then, you check your feed to make sure you aren't missing anything, and find out your favourite mutual just published an excerpt. After reading it, a plot bunny is born in your head. You are not sure of the logistics, though, so you open a new tab in Google and do a little research. Just a little, because your current project mustn't be overridden by this new idea. In fact, weren't you supposed to be writing right now?

You go back to your home screen and slide into Spotify to choose some music. If you are going to write, you need to set the mood, of course. Now, what would be the best playlist? A scary one for that tension scene you've been eager to write? Suggestive since the main character and the love interest are about to confess to each other? Maybe just some chill music to drown the background noise. That would be the best. Now that you have the music, you have to find the position because your back is killing you from being lying down all day.

A notification catches your attention: your friends are confirming they are up to hanging out on Saturday. You get in to send a "hahaha". Then you start the song again because this tiny distraction disrupted the flow. And now, now! Now you can begin writing.

You open your story and reread your last paragraph. And you remember why you stopped last time: you were supposed to find a name for this new character. You stopped writing because no name you thought about encapsulated the essence of this new person who randomly decided to appear in your project. The imactivity causes the screen to go black.

It's obvious: you are not in control anymore, up to the point that this project is taking a toll on you. But, oh, all your Tumblr friends, all these amazing stories you read... they do seem to know what they are doing. Unlike you, they do write, because they do know how to, and they are good at it. And, meanwhile, here you are, unable to get a single word down even though you are craving to do it.

Maybe you simply have to learn from them, pick up the clues they leave, and study how they build their chapters. Maybe you have to read a lot more. That's it. That's what you have to do.

You open Tumblr again.

#flash fiction friday #flash fiction #writing prompt #writeblr event #am writing #creative writing

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doodlboy · 3 years

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#i hate this capitalist hellscape that causes me to burst into tears at the thought having to work a shitty job for the rest of my life #if i cant make the things i initially enjoyed as a hobby into a successful career just to be able to pay for existing in said hellscape #if art falls through i have nothing to fall back on- its not like i can get a decent paying job with my college reading level #that's the only thing i was actually good at the rest was either fucking around and it working out or just looking up answers #so that i wasn't a failure and i wouldnt get yelled at for anything less than As and Bs bc im 'such a smart kid' and i had to live up to it #im really tired #i want to just- stop drawing for a while but what else is there for me to do? cant just play videogames or do my makeup all day #or sit around scrolling through tumblr or pinterest. there's nothing to do except just sit there and rot like i do every day #even though im legally an adult now i still cant drive and my permit expired a while ago and im still expected to follow mom like a baby #or a maid. i cleaned 8 coke cans off her side table next to the couch today. just from today #doesn't even count the bottles either. and would you guess who it is who has to trot downstairs and get her all those cokes? me.#every day its 'go get me a coke. no bring 2 and stick the other in the fridge' every few hours and its ALWAYS me #im tired #i just want to go somewhere and just lay down for a while #leave the house by myself for once #this days just been shit anyway #had a nightmare about mom being transphobic. had to listen to stupid true crime and far right fox news or whatever bullshit that comes on #im just so tired #i just dont want to draw anymore because ive stressed myself over it so much its just not enjoyable anymore and it feels like im forcing it #ive hit like- a plateau bc im not learning anything new or doing actual studies or paintings or whatever else there is #just draw the same shit over and over im only good at mimicking- cant even make anything new #im gonna delete this later #but i just need like- an actual hug from an actual real person and to be listened to and cared for for a while #elliot vents #elliot rambles #personal vent

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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years

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BTS Reaction || You’re Sending Them Memes [Request]

Seokjin:

"Jin! I'm bored give me attention." You said as your boyfriend of a year walked through your shared apartment looking for something, he looked at you and sighed.

"I can't baby, I have a meeting." You grumbled something and handed him the car keys you'd been hiding from him, he kissed the top of your head and ran out of the front door. He was running late already thanks to you coming into your bedroom in nothing but one of his shirts,

"I'll make it up to you later!" He called as he pulled out of the driveway and headed in the direction of the restaurant you shut the front door and went over to the sofa to scroll through your phone. Sometimes Jin would sit with you and look through the feeds with you, both of you laughing at memes that Army that were tweeting out and then sending them to the group chat.

Jin's phone was vibrating on the table and everyone stared at it,

"Are you going to answer?" He shook his head placing some rice into his mouth and continuing to eat but it continued to buzz and he'd had enough, he turned it over when no one was looking to see what was so important, he scrolled through the messages and they were all you asking for attention, then the last one was a picture of the rap line dressed as the Powerpuff girls. Jin began choking on the rice he'd inhaled when he saw the photo and dropped his phone, coughing into his hands as he tried not to laugh too hard in the middle of the restaurant.

"Hyung what is it-" Jimin burst into laughter the moment he saw the photo but you continued sending more and more memes of them all to him, each of them funnier than the other only making Jimin and Jin laugh hard, Jin was laughing so hard he was starting to cry and Jimin was trying to show Taehyung the phone but couldn't hold it straight.

"I wanted attention." You pouted when Jin walked through the door later that night telling you what happened at the dinner table when he opened the messages,

"Luckily it wasn't the nudes I was going to send." He coughed out the water he was drinking and watched as you walked up the stairs towards the bedroom and he ran after you.

Yoongi:

Yoongi was at the studio when he decided to drop his new mixtape on you without telling you about it, you knew he'd been working on it but you had no idea it was even due out yet. You watched the video before sending him photoreactions of each of the members, spamming his phone with them to try and get him to pay attention to you but he was busy with other things.

YOONGI! HOW FUCKING DARE?! Attached to the text you'd sent him was a photo of him holding the sword dressed as King Agust and beside it was a photo of Tae in his hwarang looking disgusted by King Agust. Yoongi stared as his phone continued to light up with messages from you so he went live on Vlive and started talking to Army while painting.

"Y/n is spamming my phone with memes because I didn't tell her about today." He said calmly painting the soundwave across the canvas, his phone continued to go off so he got up from the floor and showed Army the first meme you'd sent him which was him looking disgusted. 'Disgusted D' making him chuckle and then blush as you continued sending him memes,

Min Yoongi reply to me! He began laughing as he read the text out loud to Army and then shook his head at how you were reacting to the album.

"She loves it, hates me though." From there it sparked more memes being made by Army, the first one you saw was Yoongi as the cat at the dinner table while you yelled at him with Jimin standing behind you.

(Please forgive me Namjoon for I have strayed from the path)

Hoseok:

Hoseok had gone straight to work without saying goodbye to you, you'd gotten into a small bickering fight about something stupid neither of you could remember but you knew Hobi and you knew he could hold a grudge. To make up for you being a bitch the night before you sent him a loving text only to be left on read by him, which then resulted in you going into the deepest parts of your phone to find all the memes you'd saved over the years and you began to send them one by one, spaced a minute apart so his phone would go off over and over again to get his attention.

He watched his phone out of the corner of his eye, he was ignoring you on purpose and he knew that you were spamming him to get him to talk to you but he was determined not to let it work, but every time he checked his messages he would find himself laughing at the copious amount of memes you were texting him,

Stop ignoring me and give me attention Attached to the text was a pouting anime character and then another one came through.

I'm not going to cook ever again A photo Jin holding a knife and staring at the screen.

That's it Attached to the last one was a photo of Taehyung holding a phone and the text across the photo read that he was calling Namjoon. Less than three minutes later Namjoon came bursting through the door holding his phone out.

"Answer your damn girlfriend." He grunted showing him the mass of memes that Namjoon was now getting because he'd sent you to voicemail.

You're in trouble tonight Was all Hobi text back and you sent him a string of kisses and love hearts making him shake his head at you.

Namjoon:

You knew Namjoon was in the studio with Yoongi and Hoseok and that they had been stressed lately, you were doing everything you could as Namjoon's girlfriend to cheer him up so it started with inviting them all to dinner, then offering Namjoon a massage when he got home but it seemed like it wasn't working so you asked for help from Army, you tweeted out asking for the best memes and you began to save them all into a folder so you could send them to the rap line group chat you were in.

Hey male Powerpuff Girls, have some memes. Namjoon read it aloud to everyone in the room before their phones began to vibrate against the desk in and out of sync with one another. Hoseok checked them all first dying of laughter on the small sofa and next was Namjoon who was trying to hide how hard he was laughing at the memes. Yoongi turned his phone over and rested it on his knee to look at it while you continued to spam them, letting his gummy smile come out as he laughed at your attempts to cheer them all up. Once the texts were over they all smiled at each other,

Are we still on for Dinner ~ Y

You owe me a battery pack charger ~ J

SEND MORE MEMES! ~Hobi

You giggled following Hoseok's instructions and sending more and more memes throughout the day to keep their spirits high.

Jimin:

When your relationship was revealed to Army they loved you instantly because you were a walking talking meme, every day there was something new for you to see. Today was the shocked Pikachu meme with you sitting beside it pulling the same face while staring at Jimin during a vlive that you did. You spammed his phone with them all even though he was in the middle of a meeting with Bang PD and other important people but you didn't care, you just wanted him to see them and pay attention to you.

You were still spamming his phone when he walked through the front door after his day at work, he stared at you and then to his phone,

"67 unread messages...Do I even want to open them?" You giggled as he threw himself down onto the sofa in front of you and staring at you, you smiled sheepishly at him and he groaned.

"You should have told me to stop, there's so many Jimin." He sat up and wrapped his arms around your shoulder while you scrolled through your feed showing him everything you were being tagged in. He found it adorable how much you tried to interact with as many Army as you could, you kept your private social media open for them to talk to you and you even had a few close friends who were Army and supported your relationship he loved that you were so open with them, except for things you weren't obviously allowed to talk about with them.

Taehyung:

Tae was supposed to be paying attention to what was being said in the meeting but he wasn't, he kept sneaking glances at his phone under the table, laughing and proceeding to send you more memes in return. You were in the middle of a meme battle and it was safe to say that you were winning, you were saving memes from Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest and all other forms of meme potential and it had started as basic memes but it was slowly turning into just BTS crackhead culture memes and it was making it harder for Taehyung to hide what he was doing. Namjoon, who was sitting beside him, glanced down at what he was staring at and started laughing along with him.

"What's so funny?" Jin asked when he noticed Namjoon and Taehyung laughing down at something under the desk, all eyes were on them now and you sent another meme but this time to the group BTS chat,

"That." Taehyung muffled through his chuckles, everyone checked their phones and saw a link that was sitting there.

"Put it on Hyung!" Jungkook yelled clicking on the link and trying to put it on the big screen behind Jin, succeeding and then watching as the music started. BTS Memes song, it had everyone crying with laughter within a matter of seconds and you were at home crying into a pillow trying not to laugh too loudly and annoy Tae's neighbours.

Jungkook:

Jungkook was halfway across the world and complaining to you that he was bored, he was in a meeting with the rest of the boys talking about a new comeback and it was all things they'd discussed before but were going over again so he text you asking to entertain him. Which looking back on it now he thought might have been a mistake because every two minutes his phone would signal a new message and sitting in his messages was a new meme, each of them getting funnier each time.

"Something funny Jungkook?" Namjoon asked and Kookie shook his head looking up at the leader who went back to talking again, less than three minutes later Jungkook looked down again and started laughing so hard he snorted. As if you knew what was happening you sent a fanart drawing of Namjoon scolding Jungkook off for something along with unimpressed looking memes of Namjoon. He slapped his hand across his mouth and stared up at everyone who was looking at him in the room,

"Y/n's sending him memes, she sent me the same one." Jin laughed looking at the fanart and then showing it to Namjoon who proceeded to pout out like a baby.

"I don't look like that when I scold you."

"Yes, you do!" Jin laughed looking at the other memes you were sending to the big group chat now resulting in them all laughing and forgetting about the borrowing meeting they'd been having. Jungkook smiled to himself happy that you were able to get along with each of the members so well without even being there.

tagline:

@yoongisdumplingcheeks @snowy-meowl @lynnthevirgo @yourguessisasgoodasminemate @kpopfanfictionhoes @lyoongx @btsiguess-kpop @callingmyangel @fan-ati--c @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii

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hexfrogs · 4 years

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Hi!! I just recently started listening to the Magnus Archives, but I’m not very good at focusing. What are some tips you have when listening to podcasts like it?

Hey! And nice!! I hope you enjoy it, tma has gotten me through a lot this year! I feel you on the focus though, I think that’s the biggest learning curve when it comes to getting into podcasts and other audio media. I don’t struggle with paying attention as much as a lot of people but I’ve also been EXTREMELY lucky in my opportunities to have the time to listen. I’m certain I would have never gotten into many podcast beyond taz (which I listened to in my art studio while I painted in college) if I hadn’t gotten a desk job that allowed me to have earbuds in and listen to whatever I want. That’s how I beat Critrole lol and tma as well, among many others. So I was lucky enough to have 8 hour long blocks during my day where I could just work and listen away. My work kept me busy and the podcast actually aided in my focus completing my work too. I used to really only listen the podcasts at work, my car was for music excluding special exceptions, but since I’m not working right now and I didn’t want to fall behind on the podcasts I enjoy, I had to relearn good ways to listen and stay engaged. The main thing being art! I draw while I listen to tma a lot, but since I’ve listened to the entire backlog at least 3/4 times it’s not actually as big of a deal if I miss anything. (Slightly unrelated note, your second listen of tma is even better than the first in many ways. My opinion at least.) things like tumblr and other social media can push on Too Distracting to scroll through while trying to retain new info while listening. With the exception of Pinterest maybe, which I can pretty absentmindedly scroll through while I listen. So tips are kinda hard, id just play around with things that keep your hands busy without fully occupying your mind! I knit a lot as well so that’s a good example. Tbh I’ve been playing animal crossing with Wonderful playing in the bg a lot, but that’s not plot oriented like tma. You’ll miss things in tma on your first listen no matter what so I wouldn’t feel too much pressure. As the weekly eps of season 5 air I really have just been Sitting and Listening to them without doing anything else bc I don’t want to miss a thing, which is fine since they’re short. Well I’ve certainly rambled enough and I feel like I’ve said nothing. Main tip would be find something mindless for your hands to do like draw or knit or whatever if you’re fidgety like me, otherwise just take it one ep at a time! (Something I don’t do, I deserve a medal for binge consumption of specifically tma)

#asks #sorry this is such a ramble!#excuse any typos #luckyowl21

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whatbutandreil · 5 years

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i had an ask sitting in my inbox for a couple of months bc i didn't really know what i wanted to say, but i lost the ask:/

unfortunately, when i tried to save my response to my drafts, tumblr just,, fuckin deleted it, so im sorry to whoever asked it:/ but i have my response now. the ask said "what(or who) got you into tfc?" to the person who asked this question, thank you. this has been a really great reflection. so uh,, here's my answer:

i kinda hate the way i came into tfc bc it was in a way that didn't respect the wishes of my, now friend on twitter, ziegenkind.

basically, i was scrolling on pinterest, as you do, and i fell into a hole of like,, gay fanart? (not a question, just a little self-reflection on how fucking queer i am. how did i not fucking know?)

anyway, so, i was scrolling, as you do, and i found @ziegenkind 's stunning painting of andrew and neil on the bottom bunk of the dorm bed (y'all know the one) and i was like "whooooo,, the fUCk are these two cuties (ʘ‿ʘ)??"

PSA : DONT REPOST PEOPLE'S ART WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION, ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE EXPLICITLY SAYS NOT TO. THIS COUNTS AS REPOSTING IF YOU POST SOMEONE ELSE'S ART TO PINTEREST, INSTAGRAM, TUMBLR, TWITTER, FACEBOOK, ANY SOCIAL MEDIA. DO NOT QRT PEOPLE'S ART ON TWITTER IF PEOPLE SAY NO. YOU ARE NO EXCEPTION. AND DONT FUCKING ERASE PEOPLE'S WATERMARKS AND DEFINITELY DONT REPLACE THEM WITH YOUR OWN. DONT FUCKING DO IT. to the lovely ziegenkind, (it's julian from twitter (^o^)丿) it's so fuckin unfortunate that i found your art through reposts and it's fucking horrible that people don't listen, but thank you for being my bridge into this fandom and im very grateful to have found you and been able to talk with such an angel. you quite literally changed my life forever and i can't thank you enough:') im eternally grateful for that. BUT DONT FUCKING REPOST DIPSHITS

anyway, so, naturally, i sat in my bed for 3 hours at 1am on a school night, as you do, scrolling through andreil fan art and trying to figure out who the fUCK they were and what they were from. i found tfc and immediately downloaded it on my phone

i didn't get to reading it for a bit tho:/ abt a week later, i was brought to the emergency room bc i was planning to kill myself. id been diagnosed with depression for around a year, who knows how long i was suffering before that, and i was hitting my lowest. it was abt 2 weeks after new years and on new years eve, i was planning on ending it bc i couldn't fathom dealing with it for another year. another year of feeling nothing or everything all at once. but my mom had called me downstairs to go to a new years party, so i didn't go through with it. abt 2 weeks later, i had seen my therapist again, and i was deflecting hard core, and she saw it, and she sent me to the ER. i was evaluated all night, but i wasn't kept for observation since i told the nurse that the thoughts had passed. i was taken out of school and put in an outpatient program where id have group for 4 hours and school for 2. every morning for abt a month, i would get picked up at my house in a minivan and id have a good 20-25+ min drive to program.

every. single. morning. on the van, i would read tfc. every morning. i was going through, what i thought to be the worst time of my life (i now know that it in fact DID get worse and now we're going on a new level of bad, but then it was the worst id experienced) every morning i was reading about neil and him running from his father, something ive wanted to do for years. reading about andrew struggling with depression and self harm like i am and despising most touches bc of people in his life that ruined it, similar to how someone ruined it for me and doesn't understand that "no" means "no". reading about nicky learning to love and accept himself for being gay, for being who he is like ive been trying to accept myself being a queer ace trans boy. reading about kevin trying to cope with his anxiety, even if it's in an unhealthy way, the same way i do. reading about renee growing up one way and wanting to become a better person, something that i want to do every day. reading abt matt overcoming his addiction and loving his friends with his whole heart. reading about dan standing up for herself and being proud of who she is. reading abt allison cutting away the people in her life who wanted to hold her back. reading about aaron and andrew work through their differences to try and salvage their relationship. reading about neil taking his life back and living it the way he wants, on his terms, like i so badly crave to do. reading about neil and andrew finding a respectful and loving relationship, one where all boundaries are respected, not crossed, where there is comfort in being together and a certain understanding on a level that others could never wrap their mind around. the kind of relationship that i have always, always, yearned for, where i feel safe and loved and respected.

these books taught me not only to die for the ones i love or kill for them, but to live for them, and to me, that is a much more daunting and difficult task.

All For the Game gave me hope, something i never thought id have again. it gave me hope for tomorrow. and the day after that. and a month after that. and it gives me hope that one day, i will get away from my father, i will be comfortable with who i am and love myself for it, i will find ways to cope with my anxiety properly, i will be proud of the person i have become, i will have friends who i love and who love me, i will stand up for myself and be proud to be the person ive become, i will surround myself with good people and cut away those who treat me wrong and hold me back, i will work to repair and maintain good relationships.

it gives me hope that i will finally break away from the pain and start to live my life the way i want, as the person i was meant to be, the way i was meant to live my life.

it gives me hope that i will overcome my depression, that i will find the strength to stop harming myself to cope, that i will find the strength to push through, even after ive been given every reason to just give up.

it gives me hope that one day, i will find a person who will love me for who i am, love me despite my past and the scars i carry, love me in a way that i'll never be able to explain or understand. that i will find someone who respects my boundaries, who asks "yes or no?" before touching me, who respects if i say "no" and still fucking loves me regardless. someone who can feel like they can be completely themself around me, and that i can feel the same around them. someone who will fall in love with me a little more every day. someone who i'll fall in love with a little more every day.

it gives me hope that one day, hopefully someday soon—but i think im willing to wait—i will be happy.

All For the Game quite literally changed to course of my life, and i can say with confidence that without it, i would not be here right now.

people say that books and shows and movies change there life all the time, but i know that i wouldn't be here without it. these books saved my fucking life. i wouldn't have experienced those mornings, walking into program with a goofy smile on my face, practically vibrating with what i now know was joy, blabbing to every person i ran into that morning abt a boy with scars and a sharp tongue on the run and the small, depressed and angry blond who told him to stay. or nights when i sobbed and sobbed for those boys who deserved better. and i wouldn't have gotten black armbands to cover my scars and match with my two biggest inspirations. or when i have a bad impulsive thought, i wouldnt have a voice in the back of my head going "what would andrew say? what would neil say?" and the vivid image of the small blond giving me a stare, face carefully blank, yet eyes swimming with a mix between disapproval and hope, and the boy covered in scars tentatively giving me a hug, a bit awkward at first, but he's a lovely hugger and eventually, awkwardness turns into comfort. without it, i don't think id know what pure, honest love is supposed to look like.

sorry, i suppose this got quite a bit off track from what got me into aftg, but once i started writing, i couldn't stop.

TLDR; i saw fanart on pinterest, DONT REPOST ART WITHOUT PERMISSION, and my life was saved and changed for the better by a book that i stumbled upon, purely by chance.

i don't believe in fate, but i do think that i found these books for a reason, and that my life changed because of it. i suppose you could call it the butterfly effect.

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