STUFF I DIDN'T KNOW WHEN I WAS STILL ABLED...
You end up inventing a language.
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Words and phrases I used before just do not cover these new chronic illness and disability sensations.
Explaining to doctors aside, because they need specifics and concrete examples and I end up talking to them in exhausting paragraphs and lists, I still want to have casual conversations with people who know and care about me. Who ask how I'm doing.
I need shorthand for recurring weirdness. So I burble something and if it sticks? Woo hoo! ¡Vocabulario!
I tell friends, "The bottom fell out," when my body has pulled the energy plug on my brain and I am powering down right now. Probably gonna sleep? Right here. Wherever that is.
I use "skittles everywhere," as a quick summary of 'yes, I had my thoughts together and it was a pretty good day, but I got confused about something suddenly--maybe it was an emotional hit? maybe a stress situation?'--and my thoughts scattered like I dropped a whole bowl of candies and no, I cannot do anything useful about it; I am gonna stand here and blink at this debris field for a bit cause I have completely forgotten what I was doing.' It's kinda like "the bottom fell out" but more about thoughts and not so much about energy.
There's words I picked up online in disability spaces like "spoons," "flares," "scrombled," and "potsie." (More about the legit joys of online community later.)
And then there's using words that everyone uses, but not how everyone uses. My energy is fragile today. My thoughts are just a crust, so I don't trust them to last. Oops, yeah. Fell through. Now ham-brain.
And it's communicating, but quick and kinda surface level.
Like, we all know "pins and needles" if, say, your foot falls asleep. But there's no cultural touchstone for, "my circulation is very poor today, so the weight of my blood is pooling in my lower limbs and I can literally feel myself getting dumber the longer I stand up because my brain is not getting enough oxygenated blood right now and it is kinda like drowning, yet there's no sense of breathing urgency or air hunger just now, but that part will be happening shortly because my heart rate is climbing and I'm starting to prickle with sweat."
So I just tell my loved ones, "Feelin' potsie," and they cut me some slack. And find me a chair. And that's good enough for now.
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Being able to communicate with other people keeps me from despair, honestly. I recommend building your own language without shame.
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Seems like something we should all know.
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Disability happens to people without our control or consent. Every single disabled person has strong feelings about their own situation and I would not presume to talk about anyone’s thoughts but my own. But none of us chose to do life on hardmode, so if the world could listen this month, there’s a lot to say.
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DP x DC AU: Danny desperately wants to find the explosion guy. Tim is really good at covering his tracks... he didn't account for ghosts.
The explosions make it onto TV as purported terror activity and most people haven't heard of that part of the world much less ever given a second thought to care about it. The only real reason it gets reported on has something to do with the Justice League and... Danny knows too much.
He's been in training for Clockwork's court (which he's suspicious of- feels like kingly duty bullshit- but Danny is playing along out of curiosity for now) and he's learned a lot about how the living and non-living worlds collide. That means learning about CW's usual suspects- one of which just happened to have a ton of bases around the area Danny was seeing on the news.
It didn't take long for Danny to try to piece together that whoever blew up Nanda Parbat was trying to fuck with the League of Shadows, and was doing it successfully. Less green portals in the world the better, same goes for assassins. But it gets Danny thinking... Maybe he can employ similar tactics on the GIW Bases that keep spawning on the edges of Amity Park. It would at least set them back while he and his friends navigated the help line desk to request Justice League intervention. None of them can leave Amity Park, so outreach is going to have to be creative.
So Danny figures he'll just find the guy. Call up some ghosts who were there, or er, came from there and get a profile and track him down. But the ghosts keep saying it was The Detective. Annoying!
Danny goes full conspiracy theory, gets Tucker and Sam involved, and begrudgingly asks Wes Weston his thoughts.
He hadn't expected Wes to garble out a thirty minute presentation (that had 100 more slides left to go before he cut it off) about how Batman totally trained with a cult and so did his kids. Danny kind of rolled his eyes but... hey, new avenue of searching in the Infinite Realms at least.
The ghosts confirm that Bombs is for sure not Batman's MO- But maybe his second kid would know? The second kid was already brought back to life though, so no way to easily reach him... Danny starts to realize that this might be the work of a Robin now. Wasn't the red one known for solving cold cases? (Sam provides this information- its a social faux pas to not know hero gossip at Gotham Galas- everything she's learned is against her will).
It all comes to a head when Danny goes about the hard task of opening a portal for the guy to come through at just the right time, explain the infinite realms so he doesn't panic and then describe what the fuck was going on with the GIW. It takes months, just over a full year, of random (educated guesses) portal generating- Finally, Red Robin drops into the land of the dead.
"So, you're the guy I've got to talk to about explosions right?" Danny enthusiastically asks.
Tim thinks he's died and landed in the after life following 56 hours of being awake and plummeting off the side of a building into a Lazarus pool. Nothing makes sense about the kid in front of him.
"Yeah, I got a guy for munitions." Tim answers cooly.
"How do you feel about secretly sanctioned government operations that violate protected rights?"
"Gotta get rid of 'em some how. Need me to point you in the right direction?" This might as well be happening.
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happy for the people enjoying punk Steve lately and genuinely not criticising them, only expressing a different thought in parallel (I hate how saying "genuinely not criticising" can make it sound even more passive-aggressive but I'm genuinely genuinely not criticising! I'm not suggesting other people are liking my favourite character wrong that would be so douchey)
I just always like the idea that Steve isn't, like, repressing a secret desire to be unconventional and join some kind of counterculture and one day start showing his true, wilder self in his fashion and grooming choices
that the way he looks is literally just what he's like
you could give him total freedom of choice and tell him to go hog wild and he'd still be chumping around in polos and light-wash jeans
they're comfortable and he likes how he looks
he likes sports and cars and his favourite Star Wars movie remains the one with the teddy bears
any "unconventional" stuff he does is very subtle and minor like he was indeed wearing a touch of strawberry lip gloss in the summer of 1985 because he needed a little cheer-me-up and he felt like the blue uniform washed him out, he's a warm autumn for god's sake he shouldn't be wearing blue
he would get, like, one ear pierced and wear a small plain gold stud and he'd feel very special about it
Eddie: gradually filling up his whole skin with increasingly elaborate tattoos
Steve: got a little heart with "E+S" in it on his inside forearm where it's not conspicuous but he can take a look at it and smile to himself any time he wants
he's not holding back this is just what he needs (and he thinks Eddie's tattoos and hair and jewellery and et cetera et cetera are badass and beautiful)
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Your recent update made me wonder about something. I don’t know how much you know about this but wanted to try asking anyway. Hopefully this makes sense? Why would the English translation choose to censor things? I assume translations are being done in America where queer things are slowly becoming more accepted but is that a factor? Are the translators themselves changing certain things due to their own biases? I don’t know who they are and don’t want to assume anything about them, but I can’t help wondering if that’s part of the reason? Or is it because of something like, for example, sometimes movies or TV shows have certain content removed based on where it’s being aired, so is it something like that? Is the game being released in regions where queer content is banned or removed? Now that I wrote it, I feel like this is the most likely answer but what do you think? I basically just rambled in your ask my bad. Also, do you know if the Korean and/or Taiwan servers have censorship too?
oh there's more than just the Asahi thing and i have mentioned it in passing before but i'll cover it properly here. "the miles i fell in love with is so cool" -> "it was so cool! i guess that's miles for you" is definitely the biggest example though.
First off, a minor thing. it doesn't really happen anymore but in the earlier translations they quite often use words other than partner, like "pals" and "buds", in the VBS story. Probably one of the best examples of this would be An and Kohane's 3rd kizuna title, which the JP name was often fan-translated as "Making each other better" or "Raising each other up", and is called "Two supportive pals" on EN. Which does have the same meaning but the "pals" seems so unneccesary when they could've used partners. The original text is Takameau futari, the first part means "to raise" or "to lift" and futari means "two people" or "a pair/couple". So it technically is a good enough translation but using pals when partners would be more accurate to canon just seems.. off.
I’m assuming their avoidance of the word partner is because it could easily be misinterpreted as romantic, but they seem to have moved on from that at this point.
There's also THE POWER OF UNITY where they switch out "love" (daisuki) for "cares about a lot" when KAITO is comparing the relationship between Arata and Souma to Akito and Toya. Daisuki literally means "likes a lot" so often you'll see people translate it as love, though likes a lot is still valid. "Cares about" is not a direct translation but definitely can still convey the same meaning, so again instance of valid localisation it just seems like an odd choice when using love would've conveyed the exact same meaning and been more true to the original.
Then you've got another instance of them not translating daisuki correctly in Dear Me, As I Was Back Then (sorry this one is a wiki screenshot my phone died). This is worse. Like I guess if you really want then it does have a close enough meaning to the original. Like I guess daisuki meaning "like a lot" or "love" could be localised as "you're the best" if you really wanted it too. But even then, the line before this is "I'm gonna show just how much I admire her!". Minori's shout of "I LOVE YOUUU" from the original would be way more fitting here. "You're the best" feels too casual and buddy-buddy - even if Minori didn't know Haruka at this point, Haruka still had a big impact on her life and imo "I love you" would be the best to use here.
There’s also this one from Walk on and on that removes one key thing. In the original, Toya says something more along the lines of “I was able to make this track because I want to continue to be a partner who can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you from now on and always”. This is a bit more similar to the Asahi incident in that they’ve restructured the sentence to make it two, adding in the thing about performing which isn’t even there originally, and replacing “korekara saki mo zutto” with “keep singing with you”. And “keep singing with you” still works, but it’s much more toned down, let’s say. You know what really is odd about this translation though? If the quote I put seems familiar, it’s because it’s also the name of Toya’s event card. Kinda odd they omitted that from the story then, huh? The thing is the translation of the card is very accurate so removing it from the story starts to seem intentional, especially when everything around it is accurately translated like with the Asahi incident. Also doing this removes the fact that the card name references the story so what the hell are you doing EN? It's the same sentence, if you can translate it correctly on the card you can translate it correctly in the story.
And I’m gonna do a massive Dude Trust Me on this one and keep it brief because I don’t have screenshots of it and couldn't find any online, but there’s another example I can think of with Rui’s spring voiceline from 2022. On EN he says "Ah Tsukasa, what a coincidence!" but on JP he says "it must be some sort of fate that we met here". Which admittedly is still pretty much the same meaning, it's just like a way more casual version of it because of course it is. EN is just generally not great at localising a lot of Rui's more poetic speech as well, so I'll let this one slide for now.
There's definitely more than this, this is just what came to mind first and I don't want to make this post too long.
These were certainly... choices. Especially with the ones that translate daisuki wrong because they do translate it correctly on other occasions, most frequently with An and Kohane. I'm assuming the reason they omitted it with the guys is because it's far harder to pass off guys saying that they love each other as platonic because societal expectations or whatever, but I'm actually surprised by the change to Dear Me because normally they're pretty good with Minori and Haruka. Like they've translated daisuki correctly for them before and leave in everything else that indicates Minori has a crush on Haruka, so why not this line?
I'm tempted to say that they just change the things that they think are too hard to safely pass off as platonic, but then again they left all of the unsubtle ship teasing in Buddy Funny Spend Time, which has a lot of focus on Minori and Haruka's relationship (and they even left in Haruka saying that Minori makes her heart tickle in her card story), so I'm genuinely not sure why they left that in but then changed one instance of Minori saying she loves Haruka which doesn't even have to be interpreted romantically. Like what is the limit here? An can say she's going on a date (with Kohane) and the WEG regulars can ask who she's been seeing, but Asahi can say he fell in love with Tsukasa's character and it gets removed. Both of them are explicitly romantic. The only thing I can think of is that An's comes from a whole card story and event, but Asahi's is one line that's easy to remove. Same with Toya saying he wants to stay with Akito forever.
In other words, it's a mess and I don't think any of what I just wrote is coherent either.
Interpret all of this however you will at the end of the day it’s all just ship tease which is up to interpretation anyway. Except the Asahi thing that was explicitly romantic that one is a censor.
Oh and as far as I know the KR and TW servers don’t do this.
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APWH preview snippet!
Since I'm actively trying to work on getting the next few chapters out, I thought I'd share a little future scene with some hints of Jonsa with all you lovely people! This bit is from like, a few chapters in the future bc it's the in-between that's giving me fits right now :)
(Fair warning: this is unedited and subject to change! That being said, it's such a fun scene that I can't imagine ever nixing it :D)
“Does he even know that they have to avoid the press?”
“For the last time-“ Sam sighed, sounding completely exasperated, “Dickon knows what they can and can’t do- he’s got enough practice not being photographed from when our dad was the secretary. Not to mention spending time around you when that exposé on your crazy grandfather came out two years ago.”
“I just-“ Jon sighed, blowing a stray curl out of his face. “You didn’t see how freaked out she was when the press caught us at that performance in White Harbor. I thought she was going to have a full-blown panic attack.”
He was immediately derailed by Gilly plopping little Sam down in his lap and shoving a bottle into his hands.
“What’s this all about?” he raised a brow, adjusting the baby on his lap, allowing him to latch onto the cuff of his flannel shirt and start gnawing at the fabric. “You going somewhere?”
Gilly shot him a withering look, but he saw the amusement in her eyes.
“I-“ she gestured, imperiously, “Have not had time by myself to shower all week-“
“Sorry, love.” Sam winced, looking up from his pile of paperwork. “I can take a break from these-“
“Not your fault, Sam.” she waved him off. “You warned me about this conference at the beginning of the summer.” a grin played at the corners of her mouth. “Besides, it works out well- Jon needs a distraction right now from the fact that Sansa’s on a date with your extremely hot and conventionally attractive brother.”
“Hey!” Sam looked wounded, and Gilly rolled her eyes, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“You know you’re my favorite Tarly.” she wrinkled her nose. “How long have you been working on this presentation? You smell like the baby spit up on you.”
“Guess I’m next in line for showers.” Sam said, mournfully. “Unless-“
“Nope- I need my own time right now, Samwell. Did you even hear what I said about why Jon’s bent out of shape?”
Jon had known Gilly since Sam and she had met up north while the two of them were in college. Sometimes, it was hard to reconcile the timid, scared girl she had been with the woman who was currently devoting all of her remaining energy to busting his balls.
“Don’t tell me you’re worried about Sansa with my brother.” Sam snorted, shotgunning another cup of coffee next to him the way Jon was used to seeing undergrads do with jaeger shots. “I mean, this is Dickon we’re talking about. Used to bring wounded animals home to take care of them Dickon? The same guy who cried when we had movie night and Gilly and Rhae wanted to go see ‘Love, Simon’?” He shook his head. “Look, as far as guys she could be out on a date with right now go, Dickon’s kind of the best case scenario. She’ll have a nice time, and he’ll be a perfect gentleman.”
Jon blinked at him, silently turning to look up at Gilly, who rolled her eyes and sighed.
“You’re hopeless, sweetie.” she kissed him on the forehead again, wrinkling her nose. “He’s not worried that things will go wrong- he’s worried they’ll go a little too well.”
“You’ve been spending way too much time around my sister.” Jon muttered, narrowly avoiding little Sam’s grasping reach for his glasses, managing to get the baby to latch onto the bottle before he destroyed any more of Jon’s eyewear. “You even sounded like her just then.”
Sam blinked for a second, his head whipping between Jon and Gilly.“You’re jealous?” He asked, incredulously. “Of Dickon? Wait- you like Sansa?”
“Got there in the end.” Gilly sighed, affectionately patting him on the shoulder before going to shower, leaving Jon and Sam behind with four cups of coffee, one baby, and approximately five brain cells total between the two of them.
“You like her.” Sam repeated, like it was a giant revelation.
“What are we- in middle school?” Jon hissed, immediately turning his head down to smile and make faces at little Sam while he fed him, before glaring up at big Sam again. “I don’t- I mean-“
Sam was just shaking his head.“Of course you do.” he laughed. “Should have guessed- red hair and a damsel in distress? You were doomed from the outset.”
“Shut up.” Jon muttered, flushing. “It’s not like that.”
“Then why are you worrying about Dickon for fu-“ Sam glanced nervously at the baby, “-god’s sake? When Gill was meeting my family for the first time, I remember you told her not to worry- that my brother was ‘one of the best guys you know’ and ‘practically a golden retriever’.”
Jon could tell that Sam, who could not raise one eyebrow without the other, was desperately trying to do just that.
“I don’t know.” He muttered, moving little Sam to his shoulder to start burping him. “Look- I’m attracted to her, alright? It’s a fu- er, a giant disaster that I’m gonna ignore for the rest of my life.”
“Seriously?”
“Stop trying to do that with your eyebrows.” Jon complained. “It’s giving me motion sickness. And yes, seriously. I’m not even going to consider that- it’s just a stupid crush. Besides,” he sighed, rubbing little Sam’s back comfortingly, “Robb’s already dealing with enough right now with this whole Sansa situation- can’t imagine telling him I think his sister’s attractive while he’s being forced to suddenly confront all of his guilt and self loathing every time he looks at her.”
“That whole bro code thing of never dating your friend’s sisters never really made sense to me.” Sam shook his head, gulping down more coffee. “I mean, I’d be thrilled if you decided to date Talla, because I know you’d be good to her.”
“Yeah, don't think she'd quite go for that, mate.” Jon snorted, standing to bounce little Sam around gently. He was just grateful Sam hadn’t said anything else about Robb.
“Eh, wouldn’t count you out completely.” Sam shrugged, smirking. “With that hair, you’re pretty enough to be a girl- maybe that’d be enough for her.”
“You are so lucky i’m holding the baby.” Jon muttered, still bouncing little Sam, who picked that moment to spit up spectacularly down Jon’s back.
“Well, that’s three of us who’re gonna need showers now.” Sam grinned, looking thrilled as all get out that it hadn’t been him. “Wow- his aim is getting better.”
“I’m going to remind him of this when he’s a sulky teenager.” Jon grumbled, wiping spit-up off his shoulder as best he could. “Look- no gossiping with Rhae about this, please. She thinks she’s such a good clandestine agent that she doesn’t always realize that Robb is better at sniffing out her plots than she thinks.”
“Alright-“ Sam sighed, looking back down at the massive stack of paperwork in front of him. “I make no promises for Gill, though.”
“Gilly could give some of my Uncle’s colleagues at the WIA a run for their money when it comes to withstanding interrogation.” Jon snorted.
“Probably true.”
“Where did your brother take Sansa?” Still holding onto a now much happier baby with one hand, he reached down the other to take a gulp of his own coffee.
“He said something about going out towards the Tyrell Estate.” Sam shrugged. “They probably drove out there to see the gardens- he’s said it’s a good road to take his bike out on.”
Jon promptly spat out his entire sip of coffee, staining the front of his shirt as well as the back, and frightening little Sam enough that he started to cry.
“He took her on his motorcycle?”
Gilly picked that moment to reappear, completely clean and with wet hair, blinking at the scene in front of her.
Sam, who couldn’t seem to stop laughing, was desperately trying to calm down the baby, who had started wailing, while Jon’s entire front was covered in coffee and his entire back was covered in baby vomit. Not that he seemed to notice, as his face was white and he was making a series of angry looking hand gestures at her husband.
“I really can’t leave you three alone for five minutes, can I?” she sighed. “Do I even want to know?”
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