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#or holiday list?
galaxystt · 4 months
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its really a big mystery, isn't it? (excuse the crunchy gif quality omg idk how to make it less pixelated so im just uploading the images separately ;o;)
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oh right, technically i sell t-shirts
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i forgot about that
#holidays are coming up and it would make a terrible gift#that's the main selling point#anyways these exist and can be exchanged for legal tender#the cost is the listed price + the emotional expense of knowing that i am judging u#bc i am. i am judging u#why would u want this. why would u exchange currency for this#there are so many other things you could exchnage currency for instead#a grocery store shrimp platter for instance#with the nauseatingly red cocktail sauce that is SO much better than a t shirt any time#hmm chicken picatta at a local Italian Eatery perchance? i am. a big fan of anything picatta#oh oh i know! 3.6 POUNDS OF FRESH OKRA#FOR THE COST OF THIS FRIVOLOUS T SHIRT U COULD INSTEAD PURCHASE 3.6 POUNDS OF FRESH DELICIOUS OKRA#and then --hold on i have a recipe--and then what u do is#so it is basically sacrilege to suggest this but what u do is u skip the cornmeal entirely#my southern ancestors are shaking a wooden spoon at me right now but LISTEN. u skip. the gotdang. cornmeal#instead: wash chop and soak (for 10 min) the okra in a mixture of 1 egg to tblsp water#then coat in flour#THATS IT JUST FLOUR#No cornmeal. i am betraying my heritage rn but I'm RIGHT#coat in flour sprinkle liberally in S&P and FRY that suck in veg oil high heat#until crispy & brown & u hear your arteries clenching in apprehension#so. so yeah#that's what u should do instead of buying this shirt go fry the shit out of some okra#(but buy local and young & tender if u can bc the grocery store is full of old-and-therefore-super-stiff specimens#pro tip (aka grandma tip): if u can't chop okra smoothly with your normal cutting knife then it's too old and tough.#...i mean u probably CAN still fry the shit out of it I've certainly done that before it's just much less delicious#ANYWAY. anyway ANYWAY. shirt. okra. farmers market. that reminds me of a post i made back when we first started selling these dang shorts#shirts. shorts shorts. oh shit i should make a crop top option.#i. i don't Know How to make a crop top option#HUH . . . i need to lie down now and contemplate the constant and irreconcilable limitations of the human experience good night
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Takachiho Gorge - Japan (by Raita Futo)
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novelbear · 5 months
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happy little holiday scenarios for your otp 🎄
prompt list by @novelbear
late night drives to see all the christmas lights in the neighborhood
"do we want sugar cookies or chocolate chip?"
lifting one up so that they can place the decorations up on the wall
christmas movie date nights.
"ho ho holy shit you look good." lmao im so sorry
their first date being at a tree lighting celebration
jokingly going up to the santas at the mall and embarrassing the other one
one not knowing how to wrap a gift and the other just laughing at them out of endearment
^ but of course they help them out + walk them through it <3
sharing a warm kiss during the first snow of the season
"you know you didn't have to get me anything.."
putting a gingerbread house together
^ think about it: one is trying to hold the walls up and the other one walks over and gently places their own hands over theirs to help and :((
meeting each other's family for the first time over the holidays
"oh don't be such a scrooge" "i knew you were going to say that."
sweetly singing christmas songs to one another
when it's cold outside so they hold hands together inside someone's coat pocket.
"there is tinsel. everywhere." [laughing] "i think you got more of it on yourself than the tree"
holiday shopping dates!
sharing a candy cane <3
bickering over which christmas movie is superior
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Me, before the holiday break: Look at all this free time ahead of me! I can do so many things, get so much done!
Me, now: Well. Time has sure passed.
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gaycrittercentral · 4 months
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BEHOLD!! I made an entry to Skunkape's 2023 Holiday Contest! :'Dc I worked so fuckin hard on it hhhrhrhrhgdhsjglshgjdjfh and let me tell you, I do not at all hope to win but I do hope it makes Steve snicker. Just the thought that he'll be seeing it is wild. Hope it makes y'all snicker too ehehehe!!
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whenweallvote · 5 months
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Winter is coming…and all the holiday to-do’s have entered the chat! ❄️🎁☕
Comment below how YOU plan to spread some holiday cheer this month (besides checking your voter registration at weall.vote/check of course 😉)
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scealaiscoite · 11 months
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vacation prompts: otp edition ˗ˏˋ꒰ 🐚 ꒱
-ˏˋ. dialogue ˊˎ-
— “you have a whole suitcase full of your own clothes, and you still insist on wearing mine?”
— “hey, you slept on my shoulder for the entire flight! it’s only fair that you let me sleep on you for a little now.”
— “come on, you’ve seen me in this a million times - there’s no reason to start staring at me now.”
— “if i find out you wanted to come here just to get me in swimwear for a week, i’ll never let you forget it.”
— “i’m game for a night of room service and subtitled tv if you are.”
— “i’m not sure what the point was in us booking a king bed if you’re going to insist on laying directly on top of me every night.”
— “it’s our last night here. we’re going dancing, whether you like it or not.”
— “next year, we’re roadtripping. or staying in, or literally anything else in the world.”
-ˏˋ. actions / scenarios ˊˎ-
— discarding the plans they’d made in favour of staying in bed together all day
— being especially protective of their s/o in their new surroundings
— surprising their partner with a date night they’d planned without their knowledge
— admiring their partner whilst they sunbathe
— one of them being fluent in the language of the country they’re in, and the other surprising them by having learned it too
— treating their s/o to something they’ve had their eye on for the whole trip
— the grumpier of the two being the one to propose the funnest activities
— becoming more outwardly affectionate with one another, given no-one knows them here
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bamsara · 7 months
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Reminder that around this time is when people start early-shopping for holiday gift-giving (for those who celebrate or their family celebrates) so if you're someone who's family/friends refuses to take 'no, dont get me a gift' as an answer then you need to start making a wishlist of things you actually want and can use.
Having an actaul list to whip out when someone asks is a perfectly acceptable response and preferred. Especially when Aunty Tiffany is gifting you feminine church clothes when you're t-masc and it's just going to sit there for months unused, or Grandpa gets you another one of those walmart spa kits when $10 of gas money would have been much more helpful.
A lot of gifts are often unwanted, sit there unused out of guilt or are thrown away. This will help YOU as much as it helps to cut back on waste. Most stores cannot put a lot of returned gifts back out on shelves, especially holiday-themed ones. Holidays are one of the most wasteful times of the year.
I have some posts about dumpster diving and waste and talking about how you should donate unwanted gifts but seriously pls pls pls make a list. It does not have to be expensive or extravagant, it just needs to be something you know you will use. Put some $5 cute pens on there with the bunnies at the end or something.
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randomshyperson · 5 months
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Late For Work - [HS Challenge]
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Summary: Sometimes being late is worth it. [Blurb] | Warnings: (+18), bottom!Wanda, 50s setting, pure smut with no plot, fluff.
A/N-> I was supposed to write this weeks ago because I can't stop thinking about 50s!Wanda. Is way too short, a bit similar to an old one I once wrote, but what can I do? Good reading.
General Masterlist | Wattpad | AO3 | Holiday Season Masterlist
-&-
"You cannot be late, darling..." 
But Wanda's reminder turned into a moan halfway through - Your tongue, deep inside her, swirled around and pulled her out of orbit. She continued to grip the edges of the kitchen counter tightly, shamelessly throwing her hips into your face without hearing any complaints about it.
On the contrary, her erratic and desperate movements in search of relief were met with satisfied groans from you and the new vibration made Wanda whimper. She could feel herself on the edge, and as a last warning, she grabbed your hair to make sure you wouldn't pull away.
When she came, she almost melted to the floor, her knees giving way to the intensity of the blinding pleasure. Your hands were quick to hold her while you ignored her soft protests at the overstimulation and licked clean every drop that ran down her thighs.
Wanda was still panting when you stood up again, a satisfied smile on your lips as you brought your mouths together.
"Now that's a proper good morning." Your joke made her blush even more, and got you a gentle slap on the shoulder, even though Wanda held you around the waist with the other and returned the kiss without hesitation. 
In between, she replied: "You spoil me." And the phrase made you chuckle softly.
"Yes, I'm completely whipped by my beautiful wife. Sue me." You retorted, receiving a shy giggle in return.
Wanda kissed you one last time intensely before moving her hands to adjust your blouse. "You should go, babe. It's your special day."
You hum distractedly, stealing a glance at the calendar hanging in the kitchen on the other side. You sigh at the heart drawn on it. "Yeah, I know. There's no way I can impress Mr. Heart at dinner if I'm late for work." You commented, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "See you later, Wanda. Love you."
She didn't want to let go, but eventually, she did, stealing a few more kisses between giggles.
A simple life, that was. 
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streakoflavender · 5 months
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As we celebrate the miraculous Makabi victory over the Seleucid Empire, we must remember who today is waging guerilla war against imperial domination. Chag Chanukah Sameach, glory to the resistance, from the River to the Sea, Palestine will be free!
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emry-stars-art · 1 year
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Happy holidays ya filthy animals, see you in 2023
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yohankang · 4 months
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Rage is gripped in the hands. Rage gets stuck in the throat, suppressed. Rage is a promise kept.
Happy Holidays @natahjikio! May the new year bless you with health, wealth, happiness, and lots of amazing dramas!
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shivroy · 8 months
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what if the tomshiv baby wasn't aborted and turned out to be just like a weird cunt. this is my unadulterated vision
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novelbear · 1 year
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shot by cupid’s arrow? - some valentine’s day scenarios for your otp
 spending all day watching cute craft ideas online 
 having a rom-com marathon in the livingroom 
 trying (and failing) to make heart-shaped adaptations of any food
 meeting up and realizing that they both hold very different opinions on the holiday (maybe one brings tons of gifts while the other has a simple-store-bought card) 
 “babe, i love you, i do, but if i eat one more piece of chocolate i think i’m going to throw up.” 
 coincidentally making (surprise) reservations for each other at the same restaurant at the same time
 “i thought you’d at least ask me to be your valentine…” “we’ve been together for three years, i thought that was a given.”
 neither of the two caring much for valentine’s day, but being dragged out for a double date with friends (and they end up having a great time) 
 one is sick for valentine’s day, so the other makes a cute care basket and stay-at-home date plans 
 “how much did all of this cost you…” “does that really matter?” 
 A’s friends all judge their gift for B, as it may not be the most ideal gift to give to someone, but of course, B loves it (and A seems to enjoy rubbing their reaction in their friend’s faces) 
 taking flower arranging classes to make the best-quality bouquet for their lover.
 pottery date, making their own homemade gifts for the other
 spending their night walking through the city together
 “i know you’ve been wanting it for a while, so i thought this was the perfect time to go get it for you.”
 “oh! glitter….yay!” 
 “shut up, you bought the bear a matching sweater.” “i did.” 
 “i used to hate this holiday, you know?” “you remind me every year, honey.” 
 “i can’t wait for next year.”
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valeriianz · 4 months
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Smutty fic idea prompts - 36 is just perfect for Dreamling please?
36: A rolls sleeves up/takes shirt off, revealing body hair to B. B has no idea how to act normal around A anymore.
Hob dresses up as Sexy Santa for a staff party and Dream absolutely loses his cool <3
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These days, Dream finds himself as the newest addition to Johanna Constantine’s friend group. It’s quite nice of her, if not a little presumptuous, to drag him along to nearly every social outing and local music show in order to introduce him to as many people in her network as possible. The only reason they are still friends, Dream and Jo, is the small mercy of her not putting up a fuss when his social battery has been drained and he awkwardly dips out.
The best thing to come out of these adventures, at least, is meeting Hob Gadling.
Hob and Jo go way back, or so she’d announced the first time he and Dream had met. At a bar where the lights were low but Hob’s natural charisma and warm smile had radiated through anyway. They got along immediately, exchanging intellectual conversations where Hob had surprising takes and kept Dream’s interest; kept the dialogue fresh and spontaneous. Dream didn’t even need to contribute much while sharing a space with Hob, he could simply sip on his gin something-or-other and listen as Hob went on passionate rants about revolutions or human invention over the past centuries– each time they met up he’d go down a 100 years. Or complaining about how washed up Shakespeare was (an argument Dream allowed himself to fall into and they’d talked about all night, much to Johanna’s chagrin and massive eye roll, muttering a very clear “nerds” under her breath).
Chemistry aside, Dream also couldn’t deny how… effortlessly attractive Hob was.
Deep brown eyes that seemed to sparkle with barely contained mischief, chocolate dark hair with brush strokes of greys that unfairly complimented his face, and a seemingly permanent five O’clock shadow that Dream never imagined would leave him staring and daydreaming… alas, he’d discovered quite a few new things about himself around Hob.
Like how he’d imagined on more than one occasion, how easily he’d be able to lift Dream, how those broad shoulders and chest, thick biceps that even a cable knit sweater couldn’t hide– might manhandle his own body, lifting and bending him into submission. Dream ached with it; the possibilities. Was dying to kiss Hob’s plush mouth, his gaze fell to it enough, or feel the stubble of Hob’s jaw under his own palm, under his lips, along the inside of Dream’s thighs.
Hob was everything Dream was not; roguish, masculine, and unbearably kind. It was no wonder Dream had developed a crush from their very first meeting.
And maybe Hob was interested too, if you squinted. He always offered Dream a ride home, set his hand on the small of his back, his shoulder, and never seemed to stop smiling in his presence. Dream was never very good at picking up cues though– his prior relationships had been him making the first move, striking immediately at what he wanted, courting in the most by-the-book manner, before he was ultimately either rejected or caught up in a love affair that burned out before the year was up.
He didn’t want to do that with Hob. Dream held back, kept his desires at bay… because he truly enjoyed Hob’s company. It would be devastating if Hob rejected him, or worse, fell into a relationship and then realised Dream was… too much, too fast, too methodical. Dream wasn’t sure he could handle not having Hob in his life now that he’d met him. He was determined to keep him around, even if it meant remaining friends. Dream could work with that, could suffer quietly and go home after a long night of drinking or dancing and being subjected to Hob’s ever-present smile, his unwavering gaze, the warmth his body radiated, even feet apart. Could hold onto those images and sensations and close his eyes, take himself in hand, and work himself to climax in the safe darkness of his own bedroom, clenching his teeth and imagining how it might feel if it were Hob’s hands on him instead.
All of Dream’s self restraint comes crashing down about a week before Christmas, at the staff holiday party Johanna had invited him along to.
Because Hob is sitting on a large red velvet chair at the back of the venue, surrounded by cotton snow and boxed presents, wearing absolutely nothing but a Santa hat, explicitly short red and white trousers, and black boots.
It’s a mockery of what you’d see at perhaps a mall: Santa waiting to greet children and ask what they want for Christmas while his elves putter around and keep order. This is…
Obscene, is what Dream’s brain provides before it completely resets and replaces the word with animal noises.
He’d overheard Hob and Johanna talking about this, how they had a “sexy Santa” every year (because Jo’s office was mostly comprised of women who voted on it every year, vastly sweeping the competition to the point of tradition). And to save on money this year, decided to find a Santa who would do it for free, hence Jo asking Hob to do her a solid.
Dream felt heat rush through his entire body, unable to look away as Jo, Matthew, and him walked out of the foyer and into the thick of the party. Dream heard Johanna speaking, but couldn't decipher her words, his brain wiped clean by the reveal of Hob’s body, something Dream had only imagined in the safety of his own head, and kicked himself over the exclusion of hair.
So much body hair. Thick, dark hairs covered Hob’s chest like a pelt, rolling down his abs and scattered out around his soft belly. It was enough to make Dream’s mouth water, a ringing sound began in his ears, making him dizzy as he forced one foot in front of the other.
Dream had only met Hob a couple months ago, while the weather had just turned cold and they’d both only seen one another buttoned and bundled up in high necklines and long sleeves. To see Hob nearly completely nude was a shock to Dream’s system. And holy shit, Dream wanted. He had to know how those thick hairs felt between his fingers, digging them in while he sat on Hob’s lap, grinding his hips down while his own naked chest slid along Hob’s. What sounds Hob would make while Dream petted and pulled and rubbed his cock along the swell of Hob’s furred stomach.
And then Hob spotted them coming in, his smile dazzling as he stood up and waved.
Giving Dream a fantastic view of his legs, which were just as thick and strong as Dream had fantasised, and just as hairy as his top half. As well as a view of how those pants rode up enough to make Dream question if the man was wearing underwear.
Dream stumbled to the nearest restroom, locking himself in a stall and attempting to breathe and calm his erratic heart beat.
Friend, friend. Hob is your friend. Dream chanted to himself, keeping his hand out of his pants and taking deep breaths as his blood circulation regulated itself. Don’t make it weird.
Dream didn’t know how to socialise on a good day, and how with a half naked Hob in the building– shamelessly on display and humouring drunk female staff as they boldly sat on his knee– Dream felt himself shutting down entirely, spluttering and stumbling over his speech with enough velocity that he feared he'd glitch and spark out, setting the place on fire. Or at the very least, melt into a puddle of goo, the remains of his dignity soaked into the hardwood floor.
Dream tossed back drink after drink, matching Jo’s pace if only to distract his wandering thoughts, losing his jacket somewhere in the scuffle and rolling up the sleeves of his black button down.
Johanna’s laughter snapped Dream back to the present, looking down at the red solo cup in his hand and Jo standing across from him, visibly swaying on that spot. Dream doesn’t remember what he’d said to elicit such a reaction, but felt his lips curl anyway. 
“What’s so funny?”
“You, dreamboat!” Jo’s laughter simmered down to a pleasant chuckle, if not a little devious. “I thought– nah, can’t be. But holy shit, you like Hob, don’t you?”
It took several long, embarrassing seconds to figure out what Jo just asked him. Dream felt warmth spreading up his ears.
“Of course. He’s my friend–”
“Nonono–” Jo stepped into Dream’s space, landing a heavy hand on his bony shoulder. “You like him. I can tell, because you haven’t spoken to him all night.”
Dream swallowed. The alcohol was affecting his brain, sloshing it around and rendering him speechless.
Johanna smirked. “Am I wrong?”
“You’re a menace, Constantine.” Dream said, pushing her hand off him and sliding his gaze sideways to find Hob rubbing the tops of his thighs. It’d been well over an hour since they’d arrived, Dream wondered how long Hob had been sitting there, playing a role he clearly wasn’t enjoying anymore.
Jo inclined her head.
“He likes you too.”
Dream’s head snapped back to meet Jo’s eyes, searching for that tell of humour or sarcasm, and finding none.
She leaned in conspiratorially. “He told me not to tell you. Thinks your eyes are ‘dazzling’ and your hands are pretty–” she makes a face at that one. “And that your hair looks– and I quote– ‘like raven’s feathers’.”
Dream swallows, his throat suddenly dry.
“When did he tell you this?”
Jo huffs a sigh, taking a sip from her beer, her lips making a smacking sound off the bottle’s mouth.
“The night after I introduced you two.”
Dream’s heart flips over at the revelation. 
Johanna winks and shoves at Dream’s shoulder. “Now go say hi before you break his heart.”
Taking Johanna’s advice seems like a death sentence, but Dream is just drunk enough to summon courage, finishing off his drink and setting the empty cup on a random surface, before forcing his shoulders back and finally making his way towards Hob.
The smile that breaks across Hob’s face once he spots Dream is staggering, and it strikes Dream down more so than before, informed with the knowledge that Hob might like him as much as Dream does.
Dream slips his hands into the pockets of his slacks, affecting nonchalance as he finally stands before Hob.
“Hello, Hob.”
“Hey, Dream.” Hob tugs on his ear, looking up at Dream. His entire body seems to relax, even slouching a bit in the chair. “Was surprised to see you here.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I know parties aren’t really your thing.”
Dream hums, his eyes selfishly taking in their fill. This close to Hob, he can catalogue every hair, curve and freckle in greater detail, storing the information away for later.
And with Hob looking up at him, giving the illusion of superior height, an unmistakable flicker of arousal begins low in Dream’s belly. 
“I can be persuaded, from time to time.” Dream smiles, coy. The alcohol gives him a confidence boost and relaxes him further. “I apologise for not visiting you sooner.”
Hob waves it off. “I honestly didn’t expect you to. I know this is… a lot.” He gestures to himself and laughs self-deprecatingly. “I only agreed to be Sexy Santa because I owe Jo a favour.”
“It’s a fetching look on you,” Dream says, flinging himself into the deep end. He bites his bottom lip as Hob actually looks twice up at Dream, his smile falling into something like disbelief.
“O-oh. Really?” Hob laughs, but it’s small, doubtful. Dream will have to remedy that.
Dream takes a long breath, grounding himself, licking his lips before speaking what he’d wanted to say to Hob all night.
“I believe it’s my turn to ask Santa what I want for Christmas?”
The prettiest pink flush rises up Hob’s cheeks. His lips part as his eyes rove across Dream, down and up.
Despite what Johanna said, Dream feels himself shake with nerves as he tips forward, touching the top of Hob’s thigh before slowly lowering himself onto it. His eyes never leave Hob’s as he goes, silently asking for permission and receiving a nod once he’s fully seated.
Hob’s hand instantly curls around Dream’s narrow hips, holding him steady, locking him into place both upon his lap and in his gaze; wide and dark and focused.
Dream crossed one leg over the other, settling his hands on his knees, which inadvertently causes him to sway that much closer to Hob. He can feel the heat of his body, this close. Can smell something sweet and earthy, like sandalwood and pine, mixed in with something tangy that makes Dream’s mouth water. He has to hold back the urge to close the gap between them and shove his face in Hob’s chest, into the crook of his neck, under his armpit and lose his sanity. Abandon all pretence and inhale Hob like a wild animal, scent and mark him with his teeth and tongue and–
Hob swallows. Dream watches the way his Adam’s apple bobs, fascinated.
“Are you messing with me?”
Dream cocks an eyebrow. “You think me capable of jokes?”
Hob laughs, soft, wonderful. “You are. You’re the funniest person I’ve ever met.”
His thumb is pressing into Dream’s side, caressing back and forth, sending spikes of electricity through his veins and heating him up from the inside.
“No one thinks I’m funny,” Dream says matter-of-factly. 
“Well, you make me laugh,” Hob says simply, his other hand coming across Dream’s front to lace his fingers together, forming a snare around Dream that ignites something within him. “You challenge me, keep me on my toes… keep me guessing.”
Dream’s heart beats so hard against his ribs it nearly hurts. He wonders if Hob can hear it, how he makes his blood race a mile a minute. 
“I’m being very serious,” Dream takes a breath. “But if you deny me, I’ll just say I’m drunk.”
Hob laughs again, his hold around Dream tightening and nearly causing Dream’s knee to bump into Hob’s crotch.
“Are you drunk?”
Dream is very aware that they are in the middle of a party, and although the people around them seem to be paying them little attention, it would probably be inappropriate to follow the path enticing him to resituate himself on Hob’s lap to instead straddle him. To grind his barely contained semi against Hob’s flimsy excuse for shorts, while winding his arms around his shoulders and kiss him stupid.
Dream leans forward, brushing his lips along the shell of Hob’s ear and lowers his voice.
“Not enough to not know what I want.”
Hob groans, Dream can feel the vibration in his own chest as he pulls back just enough to see how his eyes have fluttered shut, swallowing again before opening his eyes and focusing on him.
“And what do you want, Dream?”
“Whatever you’ll give me,” Dream wets his lips. His hands venture up, tentatively brushing his knuckles against Hob’s bronze skin, fascinated at how snow-white his own appears against it. His fingers uncurl as he dares himself to properly touch; pushing into the soft flesh at Hob’s sides and drinking in the unmistakable sound of a choked off whine from his friend.
“I’ll take anything, Hob.”
“Holy shit–” Hob whispers, his head lolling back, exposing his throat which Dream violently refuses to latch his mouth on to.
“Okay…” Hob clears his throat, his eyes swinging over to gauge Dream again. His pupils are blown wide, hunger clear in its depths. “Okay.”
He’s looking at Dream’s mouth as he speaks again. “Meet me out back in 10 minutes?”
Dream bites back a smile and nods, his heart soaring as he climbs off Hob.
Johanna gives him a knowing look as Dream stumbles back into the crowd to find his jacket and coat, managing a wave (great, now he owed her a favour as well) before all but running out of the building to make good on his promise to Hob.
Hob makes good on his offer as well; indeed giving Dream everything he’d wanted. All night.
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