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#only one is mine but shhh using that tag anyway
moeblob · 10 months
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Liv (blue, not mine) and Elnae (red, mine) being cuties together!!!
Liv is telling El about some contraption she's working on and El is like "I don't fully understand but the enthusiasm is way cuter than listening to my boss so I'm happy to listen".
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cloudburst-ink · 1 year
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Tagged by @hedgewyse . It took me awhile to get around to it but I did finally! I originally stalled because I've only ever been actively involved in two ship communities. But then I remembered... the third one. Which I've never been involved in, but it's still important. 💀😂
three ships
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Kim Khimhant Theerapanyakun / Porchay Pichaya Kittisawat
It's the passion. It's the obsession. It's the angst. It's the fluff. It's the flirting. It's the hidden smiles. It's the stalker4stalker. It's the complete and utter lack of communication skills. It's the sweet pathetic boys. It's the bittersweet ending. It's the fanfiction in fanfiction. It's...
... alright well a lot of it's just me simping over Jeff Satur.
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Magnus Bane / Alexander Lightwood
This was my first ship. I wrote my first full novel length fic in this fandom, and I even have a tattoo about it! They will always hold a special place in my heart as the ship that sailed me back into my passion for art and writing.
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Reylo
So um, here's the thing. I'm not in the Reylo fandom. I enjoyed the movies well enough, but didn't have any particular interest in them beyond "oh, that was fun to see in theaters, I enjoyed it."
Many years ago, however, before I was involved in fandom at all, a friend of mine sent me a link to a Reylo fic on AO3 that she was obsessed with. It's the only Reylo fic I've ever read.
Long story short (I'll elaborate in another post sometime if I'm ever asked), it ended my impending marriage and changed the course of my life.
I have no idea what the fic was called or whom it was written by.
One day I should track that author down and thank them. I mean obviously other factors played into it, I'm not completely unhinged (well, debatable), but it was the spark that lit the flame.
So anyway, these two will always be important to me even though I'm not part of their fandom. 🖤
Honorable Mentions
I'm currently obsessing over KimVegas, KimArm, and ArmKimChay. If you notice a common denominator, shhh no you don't. ✨ I just didn't feel right using them in the three because they're all just extensions of my KinnPorsche the Series / KimChay addiction. 😅
first ever ship
I generally consider Malec to be my first ship, as they were the first ship I was active in any fandom community for.
However, they're probably not really my first ship.
I was baited into fandom as an adult by a friend who lured me into watching The Vampire Diaries. I kind of shipped Delena, but assumed they wouldn't end up together because he was the second / bad boy love interest and that's just not how the formula goes.
Little did I know 😌 that universe is far too much of a clusterfuck to care about formulas and industry norms.
Anyway I did write an Elijah/Hailey fic and post it on FFnet when I first started writing again after years of no artistic endeavors whatsoever. It's still there, but I choose to pretend it isn't. Straight smut is not my forte. 😅 And it's... well, you can tell I was a bit rusty. 😂
last song
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👀🤫😇
last movie
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I tend to gravitate more toward TV shows than movies, so I think the last one I watched might've been over the holidays. It's a pretty great musical--Mrs. Santa Claus gets fed up with being taken for granted, takes the sleigh on a joyride, and gets temporarily stranded in early 1900s New York. While there she protests for women's suffrage, fights for the rights of child workers, helps to reunite a family divided by an ocean, and repeatedly demonstrates the spirit of acab.
Yeah, you heard me. It's socialist acab Mrs. C here to sing dank tunes and fight for your rights.
Highly recommend 10/10.
It's also on Youtube for free last I checked.
currently reading
The Prince's Poisoned Vow by Hailey Turner.
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currently watching
The latest season of Miraculous Ladybug 🥺
currently consuming
I've been making a lot of duck soup lately. I'm a bit of a duck addict, and there's something so satisfying about making use of the whole carcass and watching it slowly turn into rich, wiggly stock and then the most wonderful soup with duck meat and bok choy and bamboo shoots and noodles. ✨
currently craving
a quiet, vibey cafe to write at, and some peaceful time to spend there. the gay donut shop i used to write at shut down. 😭
-----
I'll tag... @staykimchay and @justanothervariant if they haven't done it yet.
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one-winged-dreams · 2 years
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tags: i am the righteous hand of god (OC; Curtis Malachi), Adri (malkavian ghoul insert)
word count: 899
A little something for @kryssiesbookofselfinserts because she’s taken a liking to Malachi and also I’ve never actually written my insert interacting with him aksjhdg
Sermons had ended only but a short while ago, and a few hours still remained until the sun came up. Curtis always used this grace period to tend to the chapel, returning the bibles to their slots and just generally tidying up. The sound of carbonation hissing from underneath the lid of a soda bottle caught his attention, and as he lifted his head, he already knew what to expect.
"Adriel, hello. Were you at serv-"
"Who was that girl you were with?" the ghoul didn't look at him as he took a sip of his vanilla coke, one of his legs propped up on the pew he sat in front of.
Curtis's head gave a genuine tilt of confusion. "Anna? She had a question about the serm-"
He was interrupted again as Adri waved his hand. "No no, the girl from the other day, when I came for your blood."
If the priest could have blushed, he would have. "You lingered about?"
Adri's shoulders raised in a casual shrug. "I mean, I saw her come in and I was curious. Why? Are you embarrassed? Is she someone special- special- special- special?" despite the verbal tic that came with his psychosis, Adri merely smirked accusingly.
"Adriel, please, cease your indecency," Curtis scolded, trying to appear stern but giving way to fluster. "Angel is-"
"HER NAME IS ANGEL?" Adri removed his leg from the pew and sat forward, grinning widely.
Curtis frowned and firmly slid his glasses back up his nose, clearly embarrassed. "Please stop interrupting me, it's very rude."
The Ghoul grinned and took another sip of his drink, allowing the vampire to continue.
"She's a... friend of mine-" he held up a warning finger as Adri opened his mouth to say something, then continued, "She's a friend of mine who is going through a hard time right now. I was merely offering my personal condolences and emotional support."
Adri nodded making 'mhm, mhm' sounds before smirking. "Malachi, Malachi. Aren't you just the most wholesome man in Santa Monica. Which I mean, ain't saying much, but anyway. What's the extent of his friendship, paint a picture for me."
Curtis sighed and folded his hands together. "Adriel, please. I know you consider my personal life lacking, but not everyone keeps the same kind of company as yourself. Sometimes a friendship is just a friendship."
The ghoul made an indignant face and shook his head before taking another drink. "Fine fine fine. Go on, tell me about- about her." 
Curtis sighed again. "Where to begin?" he pretended not to see Adri mouthing 'oh boy' to himself. "She's a nice girl, very kind and soft-spoken. She's... Offered me her support many times before."
"Wow, someone actually believes your lonely human priest thing?" Adri asked in an almost facetious tone. 
Silence.
Adri blinked. "Malachi. Curtis. She DOES think you're just a lonely human priest, right?"
Curtis rubbed the back of his head. "It's-"
"SHHH SHHH SHUT UP," Adri waved his hands and looked around. "I don't think anyone cares enough about your crazy ass to keep tabs on you but you better be careful what you say from here," the ghoul's eyebrows furrowed as he took a thoughtful drink.
"I was going to say," he was mostly about to tell the truth, but he agreed it would be best to omit anything that might betray the Masquerade, "I told her about my... predicament," he admitted as he turned his head away and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Riiiight, the God thing," Adri rolled his eyes, sitting back in the pew and tending to his soda for a moment.
"You speak so dismissively of my plight," Curtis straightened his glasses with a furrowed brow. 
"That's because- nevermind. I'm extremely curious now, what did she say?" 
"... Was there anything specific you came here for, Adriel?" Curtis asked with shifty eyes.
"Did you tell me to fuck off just now?" Adri laughed with bitter amusement before draining the rest of his coke. "Whatever, I get it. You are one cuh-RAAAZY guy, Malachi," he said, shaking his head and standing up. Making his way over to Curtis, he squished the plastic soda bottle and tossed it into the trash bin before patting the priest on the shoulder. "Good luck with the ironically named lady. I'm gonna- gonna- gonna go see if I can find Knox so I can talk to a guy that WON'T clam up."
Curtis sighed, looking at the ground. "Take care of yourself Adrie-" he was once again interrupted, this time by the door swinging shut. A subtle reminder that he needed to get those hinges replaced. But it wasn't about the hinges. He reminded himself it was none of Adriel's business. The less he knew, the better, in fact. 
The thought of his plight began to torment him once again. He didn't want to leave this life behind; his church, his community, as distant as he was, even his abrasive ghoul. And he certainly didn't want to leave behind his new friend... The thought of her came about his mind, and suddenly everything else was distant. Angel... 
As if a bubble had popped and his previous thoughts had been totally wiped from his memory, he blinked. 
"I should... Do something nice for her. Yes. Perhaps I'll take her to the diner," he mused to himself, continuing to wipe down the pews.
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necrowtic · 3 years
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The Non Party As Commedia Dell’arte Characters
Ezra kinda fits under Coviello. He has the same bluntness and cunning, and fits the adroit quality of some variations. 
Fiadh is probably Isabella. She fits with the Idiot Gay Love, and has the same sense of space beyond herself.
Astrantia could fall under Columbina or maybe Pierrot. She definitely has the motherly element of Columbina, and fits Pierrot’s trait of working to make everything work out.
Chantain might be Scapino. This only works if you count Wonderwall as musical talent, and he fits the mischievous vibe, as well as the scheming scoundrel aspect of some of the later iterations.
Akira is probably Il Capitano, specifically the variations of the mask that exclude the cowardly elements, or Coviello. She fits the tall, agressive elements of Il Capitano and has a sort of strange relation to a claim of power, she fits the boastful idiot aspect of Coviello.
Eden I could also see as Columbina, but with more focus on the rationality and self-sufficiency. She’s intelligent and truly cares for others, she’s often the sole voice of reason for the group.
Nyx is tricky, but I think they fit certain variations of Satiro. Their faeworld shenanigans definitely makes them a bridge between the world of fantasy and the world of reality.
Ecstal also kinda vibes with Satiro, but the more mischievous variations. He’s clever and somewhat mischievous, but at the end of the day he still wants the happy ending.
Sol works pretty well under Tartaglia. He fits the vibe of wise and cautious, but speaks a lot less than the others.
Kyriakala feels like Arlecchino. They vibe with Arleccino’s traits of rarely considering consequences, being forgetful, and changing moods in an instant.
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gaeasun · 3 years
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I’ll Rest When I’m Dead
Commander Fox Week 2021
Prompt(s): Forgiveness (out of order but whatever)
Warnings: Major Character death (don't worry its not really sad)
Relationships: Fox & Thorn, Fox & Fives
Characters: Fox, Vader, Fives, Thorn, tiny little bit of Dogma and Tup
Additional Tags: I’m pulling a Risk Riordan, Fox needs a hug, Fox needs a nap, and he gets BOTH. Fox gets closure. Clone Heaven, hurt comfort but more comfort than hurt for once
Summary/Description:  CC-1010 is killed by Vader. Fox wakes up and sees brothers he’d never thought he’d see again
@loving-fox-hours @amikoroyai cause it’s Fox related
“You have failed me for the last time, Commander.”
Vader reached out his hand, towards Fox, who never had a choice or a chance, who stood helpless while his neck jerked of his own accord.
A single crack sounded, and Commander Fox slumped to the ground, lifeless.
No one who was there mourned. No one could.
*****
Fox opened his eyes. Strange. He could have sworn he was dead.
Then everything came rushing in, more clear than in years. Fox shot up and began hyperventilating.
“Woah there vod. Easy.”
That voice… the slightest inflection that Fox was able to pick out from the rest. Something Fox had never though he’d hear again.
“Th-Thorn?”
“Yeah, vod. Come on, breathe. You’re safe.”
“I’m dead,” Fox choked out. “I, Vader, he-”
“Shhh,” Thorn said soothingly, and hugged Fox close. “Yeah, you marched on. But hey, nothing worse can happen now. You’re safe, vod, I promise.”
Fox panted into Thorn’s shoulder, until his breathing slowed and he’d stopped panicking. Which happened faster than usual.
“Thorn,” he said suddenly.
“Yeah?” “Thorn.”
Fox sprang up and tackled Thorn. “You slimy son of a shabuir, if you ever do anything like that again, I will having scrubbing the refreshers until-”
“Until what?” Thorn said all too cheekily.
Until the day you die, Fox was going to say. That didn’t exactly work here.
So he just tackled Thorn and pinned him to the ground, and draped himself over him.
“I missed you too,” Thorn said, from underneath Fox. Fox grunted.
After some time, Fox rolled to the side and allowed Thorn to breathe (did they need to breathe?). Thorn flopped an arm across Fox’s chest.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Thorn laughed. “Not that I wanted you to die, but you know how you’d always say, ‘I’ll rest when I’m dead’?”
“I’m dead, why do I need to sleep?” Fox pointed out.
Thorn groaned. “Because you can you di’kut. You finally can rest. No more paperwork, no more working yourself under the waves trying to help everyone around you.”
“No more Palpatine?” Fox said softly.
Thorn flinched, then shook himself. “No more Palpatine,” he promised. “Now come on. You’re taking a nap.”
Standing, Thorn offered a hand to Fox. He accepted, and let Thorn lead them deeper into the forest. Why were they in a forest? Fox had no idea. He’d never even seen a forest. It was nice.
Too nice. In all honesty, it didn’t feel real.
Fox froze.
“What’s wrong?” Thorn tilted his head.
“This can’t be real,” Fox whispered. “It’s too nice. I never get nice. This is all some crazy dream, isn’t it?”
Thorn sighed. “This is real Fox. I’m real. You’re here. Just please, sleep. You’ll feel better when you wake up.”
Fox had already let his mind wander. He numbly moved with Thorn to a large and gnarled tree, where Thorn sat down and pulled Fox down with him.
“Sleep, ori’vod. You’re safe now.”
It went against Fox’s instincts, but he so badly wanted to believe Thorn, he closed his eyes and let Thorns warm presence lull him into sleep.
*****
When Fox opened his eyes, he felt refreshed like he hadn’t in a long time. Night had fallen, but light from a large moon above gave enough visibility in their surroundings.
Thorn stirred underneath him. “How you doing?” he yawned.
“This is real,” Fox’s voice trembled. “This is too good to be a dream. I don’t have good dreams.”
“Aw vod.” Thorn sounded so sad. “Come on. Let’s go find the others. They’re probably at the fires now.” Others?
All the shinies he’d failed, all the brothers he’d watch march on. Here.
“I can’t do this.” Fox found himself hyperventilating again. “I can’t, can’t face them. I let them down, I let them die.”
“You did all you could, and more Fox. Please. Let them tell you that they don’t blame you.”
Fox wanted Wolffe or Cody so badly. But they weren’t here, were they? They were still fighting. Or still trapped in their own heads, more likely. Fox’s fault. He could have stopped it. If only he’d-
“Breathe, Fox.” Thorn pressed his forehead against Fox’s, and patiently waited until Fox had calmed.
Once again, Fox let himself be led, like a tooka kit. Soon Fox heard noises, happy noises. Laughing and banter and cheering. Sounds he hadn’t heard in a long time.
One vod stood above all the others, shouting out a story.
“And then, you know what Tup did? He taunted Krell, may he be dead in horrible agony, and the besalisk fell right into his trap.”
“Kriff Krell,” shouted a vod with a v-shaped tattoo, while a long haired brother laughed in delight next to him. The cry echoed around the vode with much gusto.
“Krell died on his knees, like, like…”
The orator trailed off as he made eye contact with Fox.
Kriff.
Fox tore himself away from Thorn and ignored his shouting as he ran deeper into the forest, further away from the reason he called himself vod’kyramud on the nights where self-pity and shame threatened to drown him.
Someone was chasing him, Fox could hear the rustling behind him.
Fox ran faster and harder, until all the trees blurred together and too fast for him to really dodge-
Fox ran face-first into a tree and collapsed to the ground.
“I don’t think that was your finest moment, vod,” panted someone behind him. Not Thorn.
Fives hoisted Fox up, but Fox let himself fall to his knees, too ashamed to look his, victim, in the eyes.
“Aw jeez,” Fives muttered. “Please, just, don’t.”
I’m sorry, Fox wanted to scream, but his throat was all closed up. I’m so sorry, you were just trying to do your job and I had to do mine-
“Stop,” Fives said firmly, and Fox realized he might have indeed said those words out loud. “It’s ok. You’re right, you know. You never did have a choice.” Fives pulled him up again and held him so he couldn’t fall. “Honestly, I don’t know if Palpatine told you to do it, or you were just trying to protect yourself and your men. But I don’t care. We each just were trying our best, you know?”
Fives chuckled, and pulled Fox so his forehead was against his own. “I’ve had a lot of time to think. To wonder what I was going to say to you, what I was going to do. And even though you don’t need it, you have my forgiveness anyways.”
“I, don’t, deserve it,” Fox sobbed out. If it wasn’t his fault, then why did he feel so painfully guilty?
“It doesn’t matter. I’m giving it to you. Here, take it.” Fives pretended to hand something to Fox, so ridiculous that it pulled a half sob, half chuckle from him.
“Palpatine messed with your head, vod. The more you keep trying to blame yourself, the more you let Palpatine stay there. We were both victims of something so much bigger than either of us.”
Fives turned and pulled him towards the distant fire. “Come one. Why don’t you meet my aliit? They’re a good bunch.”
Fox shuddered. “You’re a good man, Fives. You don’t even need to call me vod. I’m so, so sorry.”
“I know. It’s ok. I forgive you.”
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winter-fox-queen · 3 years
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Kisses Like Wine Part 7
Thank you, thank you for all the kind words, clever tags…I hope this ending is a good one for all of you. <3
Summary: We end where we begin…at a party. Will the Thief get everything he came for?
Warnings: Making out…I don’t know why, the man exudes pure sex, but I couldn’t fit the smut in. Stealing things. The reader is female, blank canvass, no y/n.
I stared at the card.  All that blackmail, clever managing to break into a warehouse, avoiding getting killed…and all I had to show for it was an empty chair and a card.
A King of Spades. What the hell did that even mean?  It’s been a few days, and I had no idea where he was, if he was alright, anything.
But I did have a bit of luck.  I learned that there was to be a ball…and it was tonight. The Heart of the Rhine would be on delicious display, around the neck of a lady who claimed to be one of the “Last Habsburg Princesses” — though people made fun of her for her grandiose claims.  But still.  She was going to the ball, wearing the Heart, and I was going to steal it.
I had a glass fake.  It wasn’t a very good glass fake, but it would do with the time I had.  I also had a beautiful dress, a soft, filmy green that clung where it should and sparkled like a thousand diamonds had been sewn into it.
I then tried to treat myself to dinner, but the card was declined…finally, my father had cut me off.  I laughed…I had bought everything from the skin out for the ball, made sure I was the most beautiful and elegant I could be, and it was the MCDonald’s cheeseburger that got declined.
I told myself I was dressing for the part, not for the man.  I hadn’t picked out the most beautiful lingerie to wear under the dress that I could just in case he would get to see it.
I’d give my soul to know his name, and it scared me, how far I’d gone.
How much I wanted him.
So, there I was.  At the entryway to the Great Ballroom (which I’d cleaned yesterday, and helped set up this morning before collecting my paycheck and canning my maid outfit and wig for good, thank you very much) I paused.  It was going to end the way it began.
I told myself I was ready.
“I thought you’d be in the corner, singing to yourself, angel.”  His voice was like a heavy velvet wrap around my heart.  I was suddenly so very aware.  Aware of the warmth of his body near my back, the feel of his hand as he moved to take mine, bending low and kissing the knuckles, the dark pools of his eyes never leaving mine.
“It’s not a masquerade, this time.”  I was proud that I almost sounded unaffected.  Almost.  He was wearing a jacket of silvery grey, it shimmered a little in the light.  “All masks are off.”
“Are they?”  He presented me with a little pouch.  Smiled down into my eyes, his eyes so deep and dark — but warm, like summer shadows.
“What’s this?”  I took it gently.
“A thank you present, for later…hide it in one of the pockets you had sewn into your gown.”  He caressed my cheek gently.  “Thank you for rescuing me.”
I tried to feel it through the velvet of the pouch as I stowed it…paper?  Around something hard?  His caress distracted me.  “I can’t believe you got caught.”
“Perhaps it is time for me to retire.”  He held out a hand.  “Shall we?  We did not get to dance properly last time, and tonight, we have time to kill.”
I let him lead me out on the floor.  His hand on the bare skin of my back was warm, intimate.  He’s held me close before but this is different…my breath still came faster, heat still pooled in my belly at his touch, feeling his body move against mine, but it felt like home just as much as it felt like lust.  Would he move this smoothly, if we were alone in his bed?  Would be be this gentle, but this firm as he lead me?
“How…”. I shut myself off.  I had been about to say, “How do you fall in love with a Thief?”
“How do I plan to take it?”  He tapped his forehead to mine gently.  “You know better than to ask.”
“Well.  She has four guards around her everywhere she goes.  She’s never alone — someone is always talking to her, always saying something.”
He turned me gently in his arms, and now I was back to his front, as they continued dancing to the music.  His cheek was pressed against mine, and I felt the bristle of his beard.  “They’re all men.”  I said softly.
“Good.  Good.  And see how much she drinks?”
I spin away, his hand gently guides me back and we are face to face again.  “That can’t be it.  That’s too easy.”
“Sometimes it is.”  His nose brushed mine.  “Enough talking.”  He kissed me.  I stopped right in the middle of the dance floor.  The world was spinning, but I was still, tucked up against him, his mouth exploring mine, his hands pulling me close.  When I opened my eyes I realized he’d guided us off to the side, in a shadow created by one of the pillars that lined either side of teh room.  He looked down at me, as if trying to say something, then sighed, closed his eyes and placed his forehead to mine, cupping my face with both of his hands.
“Will you ever tell me your name?”  I whispered.
He pressed his face against my neck, I felt him smile.  “Maybe,” he said softly.  “Or perhaps you should make one for me.”
“I’d rather know yours.”  I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he started kissing my throat.  I was pretending to keep my eye on the mark, but failing.  “Stop distracting me…anyway…I am tired of calling you The Thief in my head all the time.”
He looked up.  “Really?  Is that all you call me?”
“Yes.”  I drew it out.
“Liar.”  He said, and kissed me on the nose.
“This is not what I expected.”
“And what did you expect?”
“Well.”  I played with the satin lapel of his jacket.  “I thought you’d drag me off to some quiet corner and have your way with me.”
His hands closed in on my waist, and squeezed.  “Is that you want, my darling?  To hide somewhere and taken so passionately that I need to keep my hand over your mouth to stifle your moans?”
I looked up at him.  “Sounds lovely.”
His mouth twisted into an oddly alluring smirk.  “Well.”  He said softly, leaning closer.  His eyes dashed a quick glance over my shoulder, and his frame sank.
“Is she heading for the restroom?  Already?”
He nodded.
I held up a finger.  “Hold that thought.”  I moved through the crowd, muttering about woman and their humming bird sized bladders.
I went in.  There was an attendant, the black cloth of the uniform shirt a little too snug around her arms and shoulders.  She was built like an amazon, and I thought, That is not coincidence.  I used the restroom, washed up, and was checking my makeup as my mark approached mirror.
My body was between the attendant and the mark.  Could I do it?  Dared I?  “Excuse me…the clasp of your necklace looks undone…”. I reached over to fix it, thankful that she had worn her hair upswept.  The fake was palmed in my hand.
“I’ll see to that,” the attendant said, pushing me aside gently.  “It looks alright.”  Her tone was less gentle this time, and she frowned at me.  The Hapsburgh Princess — the papers said her friends called her Norri — gave me a glare in the mirror, then kept fixing her face.
“Must have been a trick of the light.  I’d hate for you to lose your necklace, it’s really pretty!”  I backed to the door.  “See you around!”
He was leaning against the wall next to the door.  “Attendant?”
“How’d you know?”
He put an arm around my waist.  “You need work on your poker face, my love.  Which is a shame, because our next shot at the jewel is during the poker gamethey have set up for later.”
I let him lead me away.  “What?  You think to get her to add it to the pot?”
He shrugged elegantly.
“Oh, come on.  Tell me.”  He lead me to a balcony, overlooking the city.
“I have a plan.  You know how to play, right?”
“I do…I am adequate, but…”
He handed me a card.  “This is so you can join the game.  The chips have been purchased.  Just collect at the end and cash them in.”
“What happens if they figure out that I’m your accomplice?”
He reached over and tucked some hair behind my ear.  He looked very sad, in the golden light.  “They won’t.”
I cupped his face in my hands.  “Why are you so sad?  What are you going to do?”
He shook himself and gave me a blinding smile.  “Nothing!  Everything will go according to plan.  Now…”. He sat down in one of the wicker chairs on the balcony.  “Come, let me hold you for awhile.”  He unbuttoned his coat with careless flicks of his fingers, then looked up at me, held out a hand.
“Well.  We do have to kill an hour…” I sat down carefully.
“Shhh.  Give me your whole weight, my dove.  None of this awkward half sitting, eh?”  I shifted as his arm closed around me, and he traced my jaw with his knuckles, and kissed me.  His mouth was hotter and sweeter than sin, I shifted to get closer, pressing my chest to his.  I ached to be touched, as those soft lips met the skin of my neck, nipped and licked, burning a path that made me moan softly.
“That’s it, my beautiful girl.”  He whispers in my ear.
“What do I have to do to get you to tell me your name?  Just the first.  Lie.  It’s fine.  Just tell me…”
He’s playing with the strap of my gown, he’d been in the process of pushing it aside.  “I will not lie, not to you, not about that.  But I have promised myself — I will only tell my name to the woman I love.  The woman I want to…”. He cut himself off and looked at me.
“Alright,” I gave him a brave smile, trying to cover the hurt.  “Tell me something else.  Anything.”
He ran his hands up my arms.  “That you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”
I let him pull me back, kissed him.  “I love you, but I know nothing about you, and I hate myself for it.”  I whispered in his ear.  His hands stilled and I slipped off his lap, made a point of looking through the glass door.  “Ah.  It looks like they are opening the poker tables.  See you there?”
The angle I was at, I couldn’t see his face.  I kissed the top of his head, enjoying the feel of his soft curls.  “It’s OK.  It really is.”
And I went inside.  I heard him follow, but like Orpheus, I did not dare look back for fear of losing everything.
In this case, everything was my sanity, my will not to start crying, not to berate myself…You know, no-strings screwing could be a ton of fun.  I felt a bit like Anne Boleyn, leading Henry the 8th of a merry dance to get what I wanted…knowing full well he could kill me if he felt like it.
I knew he wouldn’t kill me.  But I knew he’d probably leave me.  Maybe that was why he looked so sad.  Could the world’s greatest thief feel regret?
He across from me at the table.  There was another guest, then Norri, the mossy green diamond glowing.  I felt an unreasonable hatred for it, for her, for the whole place.  For diamonds worth millions but still not as unattainable as one Thief.  Hell, the moon would be easier to get.
Another man, me, the dealer.  I ran my hand over the tray that held my chips, the rough edges cool against my palm.  If I walked out with this tray I could get home.
We started playing.  I was surprised.  I expected silence, quiet desperation…but no.
The table wanted to talk about love.  LOVE.  I threw in some chips.
“I have been in love exactly three times in my life.”  The Thief said idly, accepting new cards and inspecting his hand.  The pile of chips in front of him was respectable, but not gross.  He was winning just a little more than he was losing.  Me?  I was annoyed and out for blood.  “The first one poisoned me.”
“Really?” Norri was fascinated.  So, of course, was I.  “Why?”
He nodded and threw some chips in.  “Difference in opinion about how to run the family business.”
“The second?”  I asked, despite myself.
His eyes flickered down to his cards.  “I made her sad.  She could not bear me, the way I am.”  He gave me the sweetest of smiles.  “It happens.”
“I’m calling.”  Norrie says.  “And you must tell me the third?”
We paused to show our cards, or not.  I had a full house, and won, scooping my chips in.
“She is the one I love most.”  The dealer was dealing cards again.  “I did not know how much I loved her, when I first met her I saw a beautiful woman, inside and out, underappreciated, stuck in a cage when she would be so much more.  I thought, I could give her a way out.”  He grinned.  “Vanity is one of my many, many vices.”
Everyone laughed.  Except me.  He reached over and took the cards from the dealer, despite the man’s protests.
“I wish I could start over,” he says, shuffling the cards.  He looked into my eyes.  “But it is almost midnight, Cinderella, and the fairy tale is over.”  I realized the backs of the cards were different…when had he changed them?  “I am so sorry,” he said, and raised his hands, and rained the cards over us.  The power went out, and the cards, as they flew into the air hissed and spat, flaring with fire for a second before becoming sparks and ash.  Norrie screamed next to me.  I felt a touch as light as feathers for the briefest of seconds.  A kiss on my temple.
And then the lights came up again, and the greatest thief was gone again.
I was searched…we all were.  The fake necklace was gone, but this time it was me who hid it in a small panel I’d found while cleaning.  The going away present he’d left me, the little pouch, was well hidden in my dress, so I was snot surprised that they did not find it. They also did not find the playing card.  I found it later, where the first card was.
The Queen of Hearts.  I never knew that looking at a playing card could feel like a kiss and a slap at the same time.
I traded in my chips.  I took my money.  I walked out the door, and thought, I am done with all of this.
There were no more diamonds.  No more clues to follow.  A black car was waiting outside.  I quickened my steps, wondering, hoping.  The door opened, and all hopes were dashed.  My brother came up to me, looking…relieved.
“Are you alright?”
“I am.  I failed.  So maybe not for long,” I joked.
“It’s time for you to come home.”  He looked so serious.  “No one’s mad…we just miss you, and this was good…you had fun, we tried to get the diamond back, but…enough is enough.”
“I hate to give up now…”
“It’s OK.  Just come back.”  He gave me a tentative smile.  “Where else are you going to go?  It’s your home.”
“I have options.”  I said.  I hugged him…it was as stiff and welcoming as I expected it to be, so it was short.  “I think…I think I’ll take a rain check.”
“Dad’s frozen your cards…”
“I know!”  I said cheerfully.
“What are you going to do?  I don’t understand…I…”
This time, I petted him, and my “I know” was far more serious.  I could never make him understand.  He was as much a prisoner as I was, but no one saw enough in him to show him a way out.  I started walking.
“Did he seduce you?  Is that what this is?”
“Sadly, no.”  I said over my shoulder.
As I walked, I took the pouch out.  Under a street lamp I looked at it.  A signet ring.  Heavy.  Old gold.  I held it up to the light, and etched in the blood red ruby was a little devil’s head.
I knew where he was.
And I knew his name.  I’d seen it — and the little sigil from the ring — enough times, researching the Midas’s Rainbow.
There is, if you know where to find it, a castle.  It overlooks a formidable bay that had been the bane of many a ship, in the old days.
It looks abandoned.  The land for a good distance around it is private, and it is very hard to get to.  People at the closest town will tell you it is haunted by a man who sold his soul to the devil, and that he has lived there for hundreds of years.  That his castle has a vault full of cursed treasure.
There are people there who will tell you the story with an almost mocking twist.  And you — and I — both know that these are the people who have been paid, and paid well.  To spread the legend.  To bring in supplies.  To try and dissuade lone women from walking the long, rutted path into the woods, to climb past rocks to the lonely castle over the ocean.  To approach it, the red painted drawbridge bound in black iron.
There’s a door, set in the drawbridge.  The knocker looks like the heraldic devil’s head in the ring I wear on a chain around my neck.  No one answers my knock.
It does look abandoned.  Quiet.  But I hear a song, sung softly, and I walk around until I am in a garden.
I call his name, and when he turns, he laughs, a sound of relief as much as pleasure.
I drop my bag, my purse, and throw my arms around him.  He crushes me to him, and I can barely whisper his name, over and over, and that I love him, I love him.
“Welcome to your home, my love,” he says, in a pause between kisses, “Thank you for coming to find me.”
The End.
(Unless the actual commercial gives me thots)
With extra, most loving thanks to the people who have been following this and loving it:
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sparkleswritings · 4 years
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Heya nonnie! I hope I got your prompts right!
Thank you for requesting Shino he was definitely a challenge to write XD
Honestly not my best work but hey, writing outside of my comfort zone had to happen! I hope you enjoyed ^^
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A Little Different
Prompt: Can you shut up for once in your life? + Please don't cry
Word count: 1,319
Tags: Fluff
You would hear people describing him as: weird, creepy, silent, mysterious amongst other things. You wouldn't know, though, since you haven't actually talked to the boy in question. But you didn't exactly agree with the first two.
 Did people just think that because of his bugs? Because you certainly don't think bugs were weird or creepy, in fact, you were fascinated by them. So naturally, you were fascinated with him. 
Though you continued admiring him from afar since you had absolutely no courage to start up any form of conversation with him. Not to mention he looked a little intimidating and closed off. 
"Hey! Y/N! There you are," a voice chirped from behind you, making you jump.
"O-oh hey Ino, I didn't see you there," you said nervously, trying to cover up the fact that you had been observing Shino tending to his insects from behind a tree.
She quirked an eyebrow, suddenly interested in who you were looking at, trying to see behind you. When she moved left, you followed, when she leaned right, you shifted right. Your cheeks burned the more you kept at it making you falter just a little bit. Oh well...something tells you Ino was going to find out sooner or later anyway.
"Who is that," she squinted before her eyes widened in recognition,"wait...Shino?!"
You frantically covered her shout with your hand, praying that nobody was around to hear it.  
"Shhh," you hissed, glaring daggers at the girl,"can you please shut up for once in your life? Just...don't say anything to anyone alright?"
"Alright alright, whatever you say," she grinned at you then dragging your arm to eat lunch. You were certain she knew about your crush now that you've been painfully obvious. Groaning, you had no choice but to follow the blonde.
She didn't bring up the subject for the next few days and you were thankful. If any of this reaches his ears, any lingering plans to interact with him would be thrown out of the proverbial window.
"Why don't you just talk to him?" Ino asked one day. You had decided to visit her in the flower store since you weren't up to anything.
"Are you crazy? I could never!"
"But why? I mean, you guys have a lot in common. You like bugs, he's practically made out of them. Plenty to talk about," she said whilst rearranging some blooms.
You put your chin on your hand, leaning your weight against the counter. She wasn't wrong, but you sucked at anything related to social interaction. Ino was your first friend, maybe even the only one and during the start of your friendship, she usually did all the talking.
"You think so?" you said, glancing over at her. Ino stopped fussing over the bouquet of daisies, hands on her hips.
She walked over to you, slipped two pieces of the white flower into your hair and said,"yes, in fact I think he'd be crazy not to like you. But if you never try you'll never know, so go!"
You grinned as you let yourself be practically pushed out of the store. Once outside you could smell the earthy nuance of rain. It would probably be bad if it rained right about now though, since you were hoping for a chance to meet Shino. 
"Please don't rain for just a little longer!" you whispered gently to the sky, walking just a little faster to the spot where he usually tended to his bugs. How did you know this? Let's just say you had a tendency to pass by and observe whenever he was there. If he ever did notice your presence, he never reacted to it, so you never stopped. It was the closest thing you did to interact with him.
But to your disappointment, the usual clearing he'd occupy was empty today. Sitting on a rock, you contemplated on what your next move would be. Maybe you should wait another day? 
"Y/N, I'm surprised to see you here," someone said, startling you ever so slightly.
You turned around and looked up, only to be met by a gaze hidden behind dark glasses.
"Shino! I...um, was hoping to see you! Here, that is," you jumped up from the rock you were sitting on to face him, fidgeting a little behind your back.
Now that he's gotten you off guard, anything you were planning to say to him shrivelled on your lips.
"L-lovely weather we're having," you cringed as soon as the words left you. Lovely weather?! That's the best you got? It's clearly clouding over right now and you felt like strangling Ino for telling you to talk to him today. 
Shino looked up at the sky and back down to you, "quite," he said.
"What business did you have with me?"
"Huh?" 
"You said you were hoping to see me," Shino sits beside you, leaving a bit of distance in between, letting his bugs roam upon his upturned palm.
"Oh that...I just wanted to see you, that's all. And maybe talk for a bit," you fidgeted, keeping your gaze low. Now that you were hearing yourself, you really should have thought this through beforehand!
"You just wanted to talk to me?" Shino asked, a bit surprised. He wasn't used to people wanting to talk to him after all, they would usually cut over him or maybe they wouldn't even notice him at all. This was a nice change.
"Y-yeah I did," you laughed nervously, fiddling with the daisies that were tucked into your hair. The sky let out a low rumble and something wet rolled down your cheek.
"Y/N, are you alright? Please don't cry," he looked at you in confusion, looking as if he was awkwardly trying to comfort you. 
"Oh no no Shino, I'm fine! It just looks like it's going to start raining. We should find some shelter," you wiped the raindrops that had fallen onto your cheeks and soon, the surrounding area was covered with rivulets of water.
The both of you hurried to find some shelter, eventually deciding on a terrace of a closed shop. Surely nobody would have minded. The two of you dried off as much as you could before sitting down and waiting for the rain to calm down. 
After a beat of silence he spoke,"it's rare for someone to personally seek me just to talk to me."
You smiled at that, because you knew what he meant. 
"They just don't know how cool you really are," you said, closing your eyes because you were internally screaming. Did you really just say that? If your skin weren't cold because of the rain, you probably would have heated up considerably.
You couldn't see his face, but you hoped that his reaction to that little compliment was a positive one. It was another beat of silence before:
"Even though today is the first time we've properly spoken, I think you're a little different than the others," he said.
"Is that a good thing-?"
"Yes. I'm glad a girl isn't creeped out by me or my bugs-"
"I love bugs!" you suddenly bursted out, turning to him, before realising how you must have sounded and shyly retracting.
"I...find them interesting," you said after composing yourself.
"Would you like to meet mine?" he asked, turning to you. When he opened his palm, a pair of them crawled out.
"They're so adorable!" you gushed, getting a little closer to them. He let them crawl into your open hand and you had to admit, your heart skipped a few beats the minute the side of your hand touched his.
Shino was glad that his collar had been hiding half of his face, because this was the first time someone had taken such an interest in him as a person. And he had to admit, it felt good.
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siennahrobek · 3 years
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Qui-Gon was meditating in the Garden when Obi-Wan approached him. He was sitting near a patch of flowers that the master and padawan pair had planted together after the plant had been gifted to them when they were both younger. It was one of best memories he had of the both of them. Obi-Wan stood next to him and bit his lip. “Master,” he murmured hesitantly.
His master didn’t open his eyes and took a sharp breath. “Fantastic,” Qui-Gon grumbled to himself, furrowing his brow. “Hallucinations. I knew it would not be good but-,” he sighed.
Obi-Wan took a deep breath and turned to kneel in front of him. He gently took his master’s hands which were resting on his legs previously. “Not a hallucination, master-mine,” he assured quietly. Qui-Gon was silent for a moment, hand shaking and curling around Obi-Wan’s. Tears began to leak out as the older man took another breath. “I am here, master. You can open your eyes,” he coaxed, softly.
“I fear to,” Qui-Gon whispered. “I fear I open them, and you are gone – or worse – someone else is there.”
“I swear to you, on all of those we have ever held dear that I am right in front of you – alive and whole…just with slightly less hair. My apologies, I look fairly terrible.”
Qui-Gon choked back something between a choked sob and a laugh.
“Come on, master. It’s okay. I promise.”
Slowly, the older master obeyed and opened his eyes. A fresh wave of tears washed over him as his hands rose out of Obi-Wan’s to cradle his former padawan’s face, cupping his cheeks. He gasped, disbelieving, as if unable to reach air.
“You look so young without the beard,” he croaked.
Obi-Wan smiled, leaning into the touch just a bit. “Why do you think I grew it out in the first place,” he chuckled, warmly.
“I can feel you,” he whispered.
“This is real, master.”
“You’re alive. How? What…what happened?”
Obi-Wan glanced away guiltily as he took a deep breath, grieved. The older master felt bad for asking. “I’m sorry master…”
Qui-Gon reached quickly in the Force, into his padawan’s presence and felt so much, such a myriad of emotions. He quickly went to interrupt him. In the end, it didn’t matter. Obi-Wan would never do something like this to hurt him so whatever happened, it was probably necessary. He was always doing what was best for others. And he already obviously felt awful about it, Qui-Gon didn’t want to add to that. Force, his padawan was alive. He made his relief known, sending it through the force in waves. “Never mind, padawan. Don’t worry about it. We can talk about it later. I don’t care that much.”
Obi-Wan looked torn. “I had to fake my death. Master, I-”
“Shhh,” Qui-Gon hushed and wrapped his arms around his old padawan and pulled him close. “It’s okay. I’m not mad; I swear I’m not. You did what you must. I am so relieved and grateful you are alive padawan-mine.”
Obi-Wan sighed in relief and nestled into the crook of his neck, like he was still young and a child and as if Qui-Gon could still carry him around easily. “I never wanted to hurt you,” he whispered.
“I know, I know,” Qui-Gon assured in a murmur, rubbing his back lightly. “I simply fear I will lose you to this war; in all of your plans and strategies. That you will get so lost in the war meetings and you won’t come back to me whole.”
“I’m just trying –”
“To save everyone, I know. You have always been a protector, Obi-Wan, a guardian, who only wants to help and protect people. I am so proud of that person, the man that you have become. So much light and kindness and compassion.” Qui-Gon started, and he had a hard time stopping. He had spent so much time during Obi-Wan’s padawanship quiet and closed off; not often giving nearly enough of himself. He always deserved more. It would never be enough, Qui-Gon was sure, but all he could do was try to make up as much as he could with the time he got. Post Naboo, alongside the verbal smacks he got from his friends and colleagues, had certainly helped him realize his relationship with Obi-Wan had to shift. He would never stop trying. “I know you and I know you do not take these things lightly. Whatever, you did, whatever you had to do, I believe you did it for your duty and what was right. You are so good at this, protecting and doing things for the greater good. You always work for the bigger picture. Just please, please do not lose yourself to it. I am not meant to outlive you.”
Obi-Wan exhaled, practically melting into him. “I will do my best, master. I want you to be able to travel to worlds again without the threat of a galactic war. I know you miss the travel.”
“I know. And when this is over, we will go to a beautiful system, something with waterfalls and trees and wildlife. To meditate and eat new food. See the living force in all things. A long and well-deserved vacation. Together.”
Obi-Wan hummed as he smiled against his old master. “I’d like that.”
“You can even let your men tag along if they want. Force knows I would never be able to stop them.”
Obi-Wan laughed, quiet and stifled. “I think I can probably narrow it down to Ghost Company.”
Qui-Gon grinned. “Those men are protective and a bit terrifying.”
“They do keep up with me.”
“Ah, to be young and able to keep up with the Republic’s best high general,” he added, wistfully. How he wished he could still do that; what he wouldn’t give to be able to have his padawan’s back once more. It was difficult trusting others – even ones as capable as Commander Cody and the 212th – to protect Obi-Wan. “I suppose they are a worthy replacement for me.” The two had leaned back, sitting in the grass but Qui-Gon did keep his grasp on Obi-Wan’s arms.
“They’d be honored to hear that, I imagine,” he smiled shyly.
“I hear a few are bragging about being your favorites.”
“Waxer and Boil.”
Qui-Gon grinned triumphantly as Obi-Wan blushed, just a bit, caught in the phrase. “So, they are?”
“They are two of my best,” Obi-Wan admitted and chuckled watching as Qui-Gon’s thumbs rubbed circles on his arms. “You and Waxer would get along, I think.”
Qui-Gon didn’t doubt it. If anyone knew him, it was his former padawan. “I believe you.”
“I imagine you haven’t eaten or slept in quite some time.”
The change of subject nearly caught him off guard. “Hmmm.”
“Let’s go get something to eat. I have to tell Dex I’m alive, anyways,” Obi-Wan explained with a lopsided smile. “He has probably seen it on the news, but I figured I should tell him in person. And you know, get some food too.”
“I would like to see that. He may crush your ribs, hugging you.”
“Perhaps,” Obi-Wan laughed again. “But quite worth it. And then, afterwards, you will be sleeping.”
“I’ve been spending most time at your apartment,” Qui-Gon admitted. Obi-Wan just nodded.
“That’s fine. I don’t really sleep well in beds as of late. I’ll as the quartermaster for a field cot.”
“How is Anakin faring?” Qui-Gon changed the subject as Obi-Wan helped him to his feet. The younger man frowned but kept his footing.
“Not well, I fear,” he hummed. “He is rather cross with me and the Council.”
“But surely he was happy to discover you alive.”
Obi-Wan hesitated.
“Padawan?”
“I’m sure he is…but uh…he hasn’t behaved that way.”
“I’m sorry, Obi-Wan. He will come around. It is unwise not to be grateful for you coming back to us.” Qui-Gon nearly rolled his eyes. Anakin was being foolish and taking this all too personally. Being upset that Obi-Wan died, he could understand. He could even understand being upset that Obi-Wan didn’t tell him (even though Qui-Gon completely understood why Obi-Wan didn’t; Anakin had plenty difficulty controlling his emotions and reactions) but to not show such happiness knowing he is alive? That was ridiculous. What Qui-Gon wouldn’t give to find any of his loved ones alive again.
Obi-Wan’s gaze softened. “Thank you master.”
Qui-Gon linked his arm with his former padawan, this boy that he loved so much, and walked with him through the temple and towards their favorite diner. “Of course, padawan-mine. But for now, we will go buy some good food from good friends and keep everything away until tomorrow. They can wait.”
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Working My Way Back To You 10/11
Killian gets captured. When Emma finally rescues him, he’s traumatized and nearly broken from the torture he endured. Thankfully Emma is close at hand to help him through it.
Heavy on the hurt/comfort, with some whump because I couldn't help myself lol
A/N: Some fluffy comfort for the prompts “hugs” and “kisses.” Short and (hopefully) sweet! We are almost at the end of this story, just a quick epilogue to go. I can’t believe it! Thank you, all my lovely readers, for giving my little story so much support! Epilogue will be up early next week. It’s all finished so there’s no point in making you wait a whole week for it.
Warnings for this chapter: brief and vague mention of rape (though i’m sure if you’re still reading this story you don’t mind that)
Unbetad as always so mistakes are all mine.
Tagging @cocohook38 as requested.
Read this chapter on AO3
Working My Way Back To You
Hugs + Kisses
After their wonderful time together in the forest, the complete bliss and contentment Killian felt while cuddling with Emma under the blankets lingers for some time. He makes the most of his rediscovered confidence with her at night, making love until they are both exhausted and sated (and gods he missed this; the feel of her around him, the expression on her face when he begins to thrust into her, and the way she can take him apart and put him back together so easily, leaving him worn out and absolutely satisfied). And Killian assumes – he hopes – that his mind has finally given up on tormenting him with the memories of his torture. Perhaps he’s even cured of that PTSD thing. He’s certainly less jumpy now, less prone to startling and he hasn’t had a nightmare in a while. His broken hand has healed – Stacy’s not-so-gentle methods have helped return the strength to it, so Killian is able to spend some more time on the Jolly Roger with Henry, properly preparing the ship for a much-needed day out on the water.
“A family outing?” Emma asks with a smile.
Killian’s heart soars and his stomach does a strange sort of flip at her casual use of the word family in this context. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it.
“Aye, we’ll take her out far enough that it’s just us and the sea,” he says.
Henry is practically bouncing up and down in excitement as they make their plans. It’s been too long since they’ve done this. Emma checks the weather forecast and they schedule a sailing day. Killian tries to conceal the fact that he’s just as excited about it as Henry is, but the way Emma’s smirking at him in that way makes him think he’s not doing a good job of doing so. So he gives up on hiding it at all. It doesn’t matter anyway, because they both already know how much he loves sailing his ship. There’s just something about being on the water that is both exhilarating and calming. And to be out there with Emma and Henry? Even better.
-\-
A few nights before their planned outing, Killian’s nightmares return. And it’s as bad as ever. He’s not sure what triggered it, but it’s nasty combination of what was and what could have been, and he’s vaguely aware that he’s dreaming but he can’t seem to wake up. He tries to call out to Emma so she can help him. The words stick in his throat. He can’t move. His captor has Pan’s face, which seems wrong because Killian knows this setting isn’t Neverland, but he doesn’t have time to contemplate that because Pan is grinning evilly and pushing him back against the wall, and Killian knows what will happen next.
“This isn’t real,” Killian tells himself, desperately trying to wake up. His voice trembles and breaks.
“Are you sure about that, Killian?” asks Pan, his childlike voice sickeningly sweet in Killian’s ear, too close, too much, “Does this not feel real to you?”
Killian’s breath catches in barely concealed dread, gooseflesh breaking out across his skin at Pan’s unwanted touch. And it does feel real, terribly so, and Killian wants to fight, wants to resist, wants to wake the hell up, but his limbs stubbornly ignore his commands. He squeezes his eyes closed tight instead and braces himself for what’s coming, but then Pan is Rumpelstiltskin, and Killian’s on the Jolly Roger, lashed to the mast with ropes that are squeezing the breath from his lungs. The crocodile cackles at him, holding Killian’s heart in his hand.
“No,” Killian whispers, “Please.”
“Reduced to begging so soon, Captain? I thought you were stronger than that.” His hand tightens around Killian’s heart, the agony of it blacking out everything but the crocodile’s next taunt. “But it seems you are a coward after all.”
When the pain in his chest abates Killian finds himself back in the cellar, bent over a table, trying to support himself on his elbows because his hook is gone and his hand is broken and everything hurts and his captors are laughing and he can barely keep his feet from the rough thrusts of the man behind him. Tears roll down Killian’s cheeks but that’s wrong, he didn’t cry, he wouldn’t…
Killian, wake up.
The fingers on his skin feel different suddenly, skittering light and gentle across his forehead and dragging a little heavier across his chest and now that is real. Movement returns to his frozen limbs in a rush. And then he’s falling, and the landing is hard, rattling his bones, and he’s nearly choking on his own breaths in his panic as his stomach strongly suggests it might like to purge itself. He’s shaking violently, his skin crawling, and it’s so bloody dark he can’t orient himself.
“Sorry, sorry, I’m- Damn it. Killian, are you okay?” Emma.
At least he assumes it’s Emma, and not another trick of his mind. He is awake now, right? Emma switches on the light while Killian’s swallowing against the nausea between his ragged gasps, knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around himself, rocking slowly back and forth, trying to calm down – the way his body is trembling, he doubts he has the strength to get to the bathroom in time if his gut really rebels. The sudden brightness burns his eyes but he doesn’t dare close them lest he find himself back in the dreamscape.
“Hey, it’s okay, Killian, you’re safe,” Emma says, and she slowly kneels on the bedroom floor in front of him and doesn’t touch him, “I’m right here.”
“S-swan.” He meant sorry, but her name is apparently the only word he’s capable of saying right now.
He forces himself to reach out and lay his hand on her arm, just to reassure himself that he’s actually awake. That she’s really here. That he’s not alone.
“I’m here,” she repeats, “Let me help you, Killian.”
She always moves slowly when he’s like this, waits for his permission to touch, always careful not to startle him and scared she’ll make things worse. But Killian’s teeth chatter when he tries to speak, so he clenches his jaw and nods instead. With careful, deliberate movements Emma shuffles closer and lifts her hands to his cheeks. His face is wet. It seems he had been crying in the real world too.
“That’s it. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”
She wipes the tears away gently as Killian sniffles and swallows and tries to pull himself together.
“Do we need to move to the bathroom?” she asks softly, knowing him so well.
But thankfully, the rolling of his stomach has begun to settle, and he’s quite certain he will not actually vomit. Not this time. He shakes his head, shifts his legs to a more comfortable position away from his chest and runs his unsteady hand through his hair.
“M-my apologies,” he mumbles, embarrassed by his reaction, “I’m…” He swallows hard. “I didn’t…”
Gathering the correct words and ordering them out of his mouth is a challenge, and he decides to give up on it for the moment. Bloody hell, he is pathetic. It’s been a while since his nightmares were this intense. At least this time it seems he’ll be able to find calm before his panicking turns into an actual attack, his breaths already starting to slow down as Emma moves closer to hug him.
“Shhh. You have nothing to apologize for.”
“I w-woke you,” Killian points out.
He’s clinging onto Emma now, curled close against her with his head on her shoulder, and even with how ashamed he feels for this blatant show of weakness, he can’t bring himself to let go. She’s rubbing his back soothingly, cradling his head against her, her embrace comforting him, pushing away the remnants of his dream.
“Yeah, you did,” she says softly, “But it’s okay, I don’t mind. I just wish I’d woken up sooner, really. I tried to wake you up, but I guess I was a bit late. That was a bad one, huh?”
There is no point in lying to her.
“Aye.”
He takes a deep, shuddering breath. His heart is still beating too fast, his throat dry from his gasping.
“Do you want some water?” Emma asks, as if she can hear his thoughts, “I can just… magic a glass up here. We won’t have to move.”
“That would b-be nice.”
Emma moves one hand off him to use her magic and momentarily she’s holding a glass of water, which she carefully passes to Killian. His hand trembles a little, but he’s able to bring it to his lips and quench his thirst without spilling any.
“Feeling better?”
Killian nods.
“Thank you, love. But perhaps…” He winces at the thought but presses on anyway. “Perhaps I should sleep on the couch for a while. So I don’t disturb your rest again.”
“Absolutely not,” Emma says, a bit severely, though still hushed so she doesn’t wake Henry who is sleeping in his room just down the hall, “I’m not letting you deal with these nightmares on your own.”
Killian pretends he’s not relieved about that.
“Now, let’s get back into bed, okay?”
“Okay.”
They untangle from each other and climb back into the bed, where Killian immediately pulls Emma close again to keep his anxiety at bay. The light is still on, and that helps too. He hopes Emma won’t turn it off yet.
“You okay?” she murmurs, settling with her head on his shoulder and her hand over his heart.
“I just…” Killian sighs deeply, his frustration coming to the forefront now that he’s less frightened. “I hate this. I hate that I can’t… I can’t move past it. It’s been months, Emma.”
He doesn’t know why it affected him so much – Archie said it’s likely a culmination of the burden of unresolved trauma he’s been through in the past, this most recent simply one too much for his mind to handle. And that’s also why his nightmares often included such old events along with the new. Pan and Rumpelstiltskin featured tonight, but sometimes Hades makes an appearance, mutilating him with his own hook and threatening to drop him in that accursed river.
“You are doing better though. This is the first time you’ve had a nightmare in a while. And the flashbacks aren’t happening very often anymore either, are they?”
“No, they’re not. But it’s not good enough,” Killian says bitterly, and the disgust he feels for his continued cowardice is so strong it could drown him. I’m not good enough.
He should be the one protecting Emma, comforting her, not the other way around all the bloody time. He’s so tired of it. He can feel himself retreating, if not physically then at least in his mind, the terrible weight of not good enough pulling him down, down, down…
“Hey, stop it.” Emma props herself on her elbow so she can plant the softest of kisses on the furrow between his brows, pulling him back to himself and to her. “You’re healing. It’s a process.”
His hand may be healed now, only the scars remaining that will fade even further with time, but at times like this Killian fears his mind may be beyond repair, despite the assurances from both Emma and from Archie that he’s healing. But Emma continues to pull him out of his morbid thoughts, kissing the scar on his cheek next.
“I never want you to think you aren’t good enough, Killian,” because of course she heard the true meaning behind his words, and there’s a feather-light kiss for a faint line of scarring on his shoulder, his eyes fluttering shut and his lips parting on a quiet gasp, “You’ve been through…” Emma’s lips find another old injury. “…so much. You just need some time.”
Killian thinks this would probably be arousing if it wasn’t so soothing. He can feel how much love she has for him – she’s pouring it into every touch, every word, every press of her lips. Perhaps she’s using a little of her magic to do it, or perhaps it’s simply because he’s still fragile from his nightmare, but the sensation is powerful and wonderful, his very nerves seeming to hum happily under his skin in response.
“Emma.” It’s little more than a helpless whimper. Desperate. Though for what, he can’t be certain. It’s not that he wants her to stop. “What are you doing to me?”
“Loving you,” Emma says, in a voice that means he has no choice but to lie back and take it, “Now sshh, I’m not finished.” She curls her fingers gently but firmly around his bicep, anchoring him in place.
She’s slowly kissing a path across the scars on his body between sentences, the knots and lines and hollows that map out a lifetime of surviving, too many lifetimes really. Her tender affections feel like they’re filling a void inside his soul with warmth and love and it’s almost too much to handle. All he can do is keep his eyes closed and wrap his arm around Emma’s waist as she continues.
“You take all the time you need to heal, and I’ll be with you all the way,” she takes his left arm in her gentle hand, and he knows where she’s going next, “However long this takes. However many bad days, or nights, that you have. You just need to…” Her lips brush against his sensitive inner wrist, just beside the ugly and numb scar tissue that covers the blunted end of it. “…to let me help you. I love you, Killian. Please, don’t pull away from me.”
“I won’t,” his voice breaks, and if she doesn’t stop smothering him with all this kindness soon, he’s going to start crying. Again. “I promise I won’t. Emma, I…”
She moves and takes his right hand from around her waist and softly kisses the scars on his fingers and across the back of his hand, and there’s a feeling of all the broken pieces of him being drawn together, sharp edges smoothed over by Emma’s love and it’s too much. A tear slips from under Killian’s lashes and his breath shudders, his heightened emotions too intense to be contained any longer.
“I love you,” he breathes, looking up to see Emma’s own eyes glassy with tears as well.
“I know.” She smiles down at him, raw and open and honest as her thumb brushes the tear from his face. “And I mean what I said. I’m with you, Killian.”
Her next and final kiss is granted to his lips, and she takes her time there, her palm resting against his cheek while his fingers tangle in her hair, allowing him to reciprocate before she settles down into his arms again, and Killian wants to stay in this moment forever. Comfortable and safe, basking in the wonderful feeling of being so wholly loved. How does his Swan always know what he needs?
“What have I done to deserve you, Emma?” he asks once he’s regained control of his emotions.
“What have I done to deserve you?” she counters.
He smiles, and lets the silence stretch on, his limbs feeling heavy and his thoughts turning sluggish as sleep pulls him away. It almost claims him, his eyes closed and his breathing even, when the light he could still just barely see behind closed lids suddenly goes out and he startles, eyes flying open as he pulls himself back to reality with a jolt. He’d turned over onto his side in his almost-sleep, and now Emma’s pressed against his back with her arm around his torso, squeezing a little tighter to combat his flinch. She’s switched the light off, he realizes, plunging the room back into darkness.
“Sorry, I thought you’d gone back to sleep,” she whispers, “Is it too dark?” She doesn’t wait for his response. “Hang on a second, I’ve got an idea.”
She moves her hand, a casual flick of her wrist in a way that Killian recognizes – so at ease with using magic these days – and the curtains glide open, letting the nearly full moon cast its light into the room. The tension flows out of him almost instantly, coaxed away by pleasant memories of nights aboard the Jolly Roger with the bright moon shining through the windows of his quarters.
“Better?”
“Aye, that’s perfect. Thank you.”
He can’t find the words to convey just how thankful he is for her, for everything she does for him. He hopes she knows. She probably does. She’s quite perceptive, he thinks with a smile. He closes his eyes again and sleep finds him quickly. When he dreams again, it’s of the sea, and of Emma, and of the moon shining down upon the deck of the Jolly Roger where they’re lying entwined in peaceful respite.
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Summary: After catching Zemo trying to force Bucky to be the Winter Soldier again, Sharon kills him. Sam doesn't like her methods, and decides to continue his search for the Flag Smashers elsewhere, but Bucky decides to stay when Sharon offers him a paying job. Sharon takes Bucky to the party she's hosting, and Bucky discovers he likes taking her orders. Sequel to Pet Psychopath.
Word Count: 2603
Tags: Light BDSM, Light Dom/Sub dynamics, Bucky’s Got a Praise Kink, Touch Starved Bucky
Read it here:
“There we go,” Sharon smiled, handing Bucky his copy of the paperwork. “You’re officially on my payroll.”
“Huh,” Bucky said, flipping through the pages. “Uh, I don’t have anywhere to put this—”
“Put it in the spare room. It’s your room now,” Sharon shrugged. “Per the contract, I’m providing room and board.”
“It’s…weird,” Bucky admitted.
“What do you mean?” Sharon asked. “I’m so sorry, of course you don’t have to live here if you don’t want to—”
“No, that’s not it,” Bucky shook his head. “I’m just…you’re actually paying me.”
“That’s what the paperwork says, doesn’t it?” Sharon smiled.
“Yeah. It’s just weird that… I think you’re the first one to give me a paycheck since the 40s,” Bucky said, crumpling up the papers and shoving them into a pocket.
“If you’re a free agent now, you have to start acting like one,” Sharon said. “Even if you weren’t working for me, which by the way I’m very glad that you are, you’d need to advocate for yourself. Were you doing assassinations or bodyguard work in New York?”
“Uh, no,” Bucky said. “I had inheritance money from Steve. And, um…” He paused for a moment, considering how to describe beating up Hydra agents to Sharon. “I had hobbies,” Bucky finally said.
“A lot of the time, you have to force people to pay you,” Sharon said with a dark look in her eye. “I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it if you ever strike out on your own.”
“Yeah,” Bucky mumbled agreement. Striking out on his own? Not likely. He’d missed the simplicity of taking orders from someone he trusted. He’d followed Steve into countless battles, and it had felt right. Following Steve felt like the only thing he really knew how to do. He was going to give following Sharon a try, though. Steve had trusted her, and Bucky would too.
“Anyway, I’m having a party tonight,” Sharon said. “I’m hosting clients. They’ll be here in an hour.”
“I saw the Monet downstairs,” Bucky said. “You’re good at what you do.”
“I have to be,” Sharon shrugged. “Want to come?”
“What, to the party?” Bucky asked.
“Well, you’d have to change,” Sharon said, glancing at Bucky’s outfit. He still had Zemo’s blood stained across his chest.
“You know what, sure,” Bucky said. “Might as well enjoy myself.”
“That’s the spirit,” Sharon said. “Now remember, it’s my party, so—”
“I know, I know,” Bucky sighed. “Don’t kill anyone, don’t hurt anyone.”
“Are you kidding?” Sharon raised an eyebrow at him. “I was going to say the opposite. If anyone so much as looks at you wrong, do whatever you want to them.”
“Really?” Bucky blinked at her, confused. “But—”
“But what?” Sharon scoffed. “You’re on my payroll, which means you’re mine. If someone is messing with you at my party, it’s my business. Feel free to handle it. Unless you’d rather call me over, I’d be happy to kill a fucker for you.”
“Uh, no, I could handle it,” Bucky frowned. “But…really? I used to be the Winter Soldier. Everyone’s going to stare at me.”
“Use your discretion who gets hurt and who doesn’t, then,” Sharon said, like it was obvious. “Probably after you take down the first thug, nobody else will have anything to say to you.”
“So I should probably change into something sleeveless, then,” Bucky said, looking down at his metal hand.
“Buck,” Sharon sighed. “Can I call you that?”
“Uh, that’s fine,” Bucky said, surprising himself that he actually was fine with it.
“Buck, wear whatever you want, so long as it doesn’t have blood on it when the party starts. Hurt or kill whoever you want. I do not care,” Sharon said.
“But…everyone else does,” Bucky said, hating how pathetically it came out.
“Do I look like everyone else?” Sharon said. “You and I both know what it’s like to be on the run. I’m finally in a position with some power, and I’m paying you to back up that power. And, I trust you—do what you want.”
“Uh, okay,” Bucky said awkwardly. They stared at each other for a moment then, as Bucky tried to figure out how to organize his next words.
“Is there a problem?” Sharon asked. “I didn’t mean to imply you have to come to the party. Nobody’ll force you.”
“Uh, what should I wear?” Bucky asked.
“Pick whatever you want,” Sharon said, leading him to a clothing rack. “I’ve got plenty of stuff.”
Bucky sifted through the clothes. They all seemed so different, so fancy, so…weird. “Can you pick something for me?” he asked.
“Why?” Sharon asked, stepping just slightly closer to him, a hint of a smile on her face.
“Uh, I don’t know what’s good,” Bucky said, face flushing just slightly red, but he wasn’t sure why.
“Okay,” Sharon said. She reached past him, hand just brushing against the blood stain on his chest. “Wear this.” She pulled out a loose black jacket, with fully covered sleeves. It had a black pattern of stars embossed into it in gentle, sloping lines.
Bucky took the jacket, and took a step away from Sharon. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” Sharon said, cocking her head sideways. There was still just a hint of a suggestion of a smile on her face. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, why?” Bucky swallowed, throat suddenly feeling dry.
“You’re on my payroll. Which means you’re mine,” Sharon repeated. She took a step closer to Bucky, closing the distance again. “How does that make you feel?” She all but breathed the words, making Bucky shiver.
“I guess…it’s nice?” Bucky said.
“Go on,” Sharon said.
“I’m the one who came up with the plan to work with Zemo,” Bucky said, looking at the floor. “It was stupid, and I shouldn’t’ve—”
“Hey, shh, shhh,” Sharon said, rubbing his shoulder gently. “It’s not your fault. You’re not stupid.”
“It’s just nice that I’m not the one calling the shots anymore,” Bucky blurted, all in a rush.
“I get it,” Sharon smiled, and stepped away from him, giving him a little space. “Steve makes a big shadow. It’s easy to stand in it and follow orders. Steve’s got that kind of a presence.”
“Maybe I’m just the kind of person who follows orders,” Bucky said quietly. “I don’t know if I was like that before Hydra…but either way, I am now, so.” He took deep breaths, trying to stay focused.
“So you like that I’m your boss now,” Sharon grinned. “It’s okay. I like that you’re my employee.”
“Well, good,” Bucky said, sounding like a little kid.
“I want to give you as much freedom as you want,” Sharon said. “You’re not the Winter Soldier, you don’t have to suffer silently. You have to tell me when there’s something happening that you don’t like.”
“Yes, sir,” Bucky said, then coughed trying to cover it up. It had just slipped out. He hadn’t meant it.
“At ease,” Sharon winked. Then her tone became brisk and commanding. “Wear the jacket I gave you. Meet me downstairs in 45 minutes exactly.”
“Yes,” Bucky said, stifling the "sir" that almost followed it out. Sharon marched off deeper into the apartment. Bucky went to the spare room—his room—to change. It was nice to get out of the bloodstained uniform, the one with the sleeve torn off. He’d worn it to the bar, to play the character of being the Winter Soldier again…people always wanted to see the Soldier’s arm, like it was some kind of toy. Bucky had thought Sharon would want people to see it. Wasn’t that why she’d hired him, so he could be her muscle? But the jacket she gave him flowed in all the right places. When he put it on properly, it moved the same over both arms. To him, it felt more like armor than a bulletproof vest. He smiled, seeing it in the mirror. When he went to the bathroom, Zemo’s corpse had already been cleaned up and removed. This was Bucky’s space now. It felt good. He went down to the party to meet Sharon, at just the time she’d told him.
“You’re right on time,” Sharon smiled. “Good boy,” she said.
Bucky shivered, hearing her say it. That felt good, too.
“Are you okay?” Sharon asked, concerned.
“Great,” Bucky nodded. “Sir.”
Sharon’s smile returned, matched with a hungry look in her eye. “Enjoy the party. Try to stay out of trouble, but if trouble finds you, remember what I said.”
“Yes sir,” Bucky said, and once it came out he felt so embarrassed, he’d said it twice in a row and she’d think it was weird and she wouldn’t want him—but Sharon just smiled, like she genuinely wanted him there, and rewarded him with a quick ruffling of his hair before she disappeared back into the depths of the party, leaving Bucky alone.
Bucky went to the bar, even though he knew he couldn’t get drunk. He wasn’t sure what else to do, where else to be. He didn’t exactly like mingling, or talking to new people. Why had he even agreed to come? On some level, he was only here because Sharon told him to be.
<Quite a show in Low Town,> someone said in Russian. Bucky turned. There was a man approaching the bar, one Bucky was pretty sure he recognized from the Low Town bar. Wonderful. Bucky hoped he wasn’t here because Bucky had injured one of his friends. That would be a guaranteed fight.
The man was about the same height as Bucky, but he had blonde hair, tied up into a braid behind his head. <Ready to comply, Solider?> he asked.
<I’m not the Winter Solider anymore,> Bucky responded with a sigh. <My name is James Bucky Barnes.> He’d said the phrase so many times, it was almost automatic. Almost.
<That wasn’t what I saw last night,> the man grinned. <I saw a killer. A predator.>
Bucky turned back to the bar and ordered a drink, trying to signal that the conversation was over.
<I’m talking to you, Soldier,> the man shoved Bucky in the human arm and stood between him and the bar. <Where’s your master?>
“You know what, man? Shut up,” Bucky scowled. He really didn’t want to deal with this. The party was a bad idea.
“Make me,” the man said, pulling a knife. Bucky raised both hands instinctively in surrender, even though he could have taken the knife away in a heart beat.
“I don’t want trouble,” Bucky said. “Go back to the party.”
“Oh, now you don’t want trouble,” the man laughed. “You're going to be my new henchman.”
“You’re going to get out of my party, Artemiy,” Sharon said. She’d appeared from nowhere, and pressed her gun to the man’s ribcage.
“We’re just having a talk,” Artemiy said. “The pet’s here. Where’s the master? Where’s Zemo?”
“Zemo is dead. I killed him,” Sharon said coldly, but her friendly smile never dropping. “You’re next if you don’t stop talking to my newest employee.”
“The Winter Soldier works for you?” Artemiy went pale.
“His name is Bucky,” Sharon said, forcing the gun against Artemiy’s ribs a little more forcefully. “Anyone who’s got a problem with that can talk to me.”
“Sharon, you don’t have to kill him,” Bucky said, more out of a sense of obligation than any real feeling on the subject. “He’s just an idiot.”
“You’re right,” Sharon said. She drew her gun under Artemiy’s chin before putting it away. “There will be other idiots to make an example of.”
They’d drawn a small crowd. Sharon put her hands on her hips and stared them down. “This man is mine. The next person who forgets that is dead. Am I clear?”
There were furtive nods and sounds of agreement from the crowd.
“Good,” Sharon smiled. “Then let’s get back to enjoying the party, why don’t we!” The crowd dispersed, and Artemiy slipped away quick as a snake.
“It was a mistake to come to this,” Bucky mumbled. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Sharon said. “It's my fault. I shouldn’t have left you. Just stick next to me for the rest of the night, okay?”
Bucky nodded.
It felt familiar, following Sharon around the party. He stayed just a step behind her, keeping close enough to participate in her conversations but far enough away that it wasn’t rude when he didn’t. He remembered bodyguard duty as the Winter Soldier, he’d done it hundreds of times. It was an easy role to slip into, and looking the way he did was half of the work. It was different, here. The jacket concealed the metal arm, making him feel more like a person, and less like a mechanical toy. Sharon would reach out and touch him every so often, fixing his hair, or adjusting his collar…no one from Hydra ever did that. They were all scared of the Winter Soldier. Sharon wasn’t scared at all. She was a very touchy kind of person. She acted like she liked touching him, and the last person who would’ve agreed with her was Steve. It had been a while since anyone had offered Bucky even so much as a friendly pat on the shoulder. He found that he liked it. He wished she’d do it more.
“You’re quiet,” Sharon said, nudging him in the shoulder. “Everything okay?”
“Just thinking,” Bucky said.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Sharon asked.
“You could fix my collar more often, if you wanted to,” Bucky said awkwardly.
“Like this?” Sharon smiled and took his shirt collar in both hands.
“Uh, yeah,” Bucky said, feeling his face begin to heat up.
“Or maybe like this,” Sharon said, pulling him close.
“Yes,” Bucky whispered.
“I could kiss you right now,” Sharon said, lips just centimeters from his cheek. “Then everybody would see that you’re mine. That you belong to me.”
That she wanted him. He didn’t just belong to her, she had picked him. He liked it.
“I’d like to kiss you,” Sharon said, “if that’s okay.”
Bucky blinked. He hadn’t even realized he hadn’t responded, and now Sharon was looking at him like she was worried she’d made a mistake, like she’d accidentally triggered him or given him a flashback. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. He nodded, as much as he could manage. He felt overwhelmed. She really wanted him? She really cared?
Sharon pulled on his collar and pulled him close to her, kissing him. He closed his eyes and kissed back. His enhanced hearing told him the people around them were ceasing their conversations to watch, but he didn’t care. Sharon kissed him until she was done, then released his collar, smoothed it back into place, and eyed him up and down, hungrily. “Mine,” Sharon said.
Bucky’s heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest, it was pumping so fast. “Yes, sir,” was his only response, and for a moment he worried people would think he was just the Winter Solider obeying a master’s orders, but he soon realized he didn’t care. Sharon could have told him to drop to his knees right there, and he would’ve done it. He’d done much worse as the Winter Soldier, and this time the memory almost made him smile. It couldn’t hurt him anymore. He wasn’t the Winter Soldier, he was Bucky. He was Sharon’s Bucky. It felt really good.
Sharon took Bucky’s elbow in one arm. “I’ve got more people to talk to. Coming?”
“Anywhere,” Bucky breathed, and she led him deeper into the party.
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soheila-1996 · 4 years
Text
My story- Part six
My little disclaimer:
I have epilepsy. This details my seizures, I can’t speak for everyone, everyone’s seizures/ experiences are different. This is graphic. Seizures are messy. They aren’t fun and it felt wrong to make it out to be cute when they really aren’t.   Pretty much all the things that happen in the plot have happened to me. Well, I’m not married to a king or live in a palace so…there’s that but everything else is accurate.  There may be some jokes about it here because I do joke about it sometimes. It makes me more comfortable and I find it helps relax everyone around me. I’m also writing about it because there really aren’t that many fics written about it and I think it’s important to shine light on it.
Any feedback is really appreciated! :)
Tagging people who shared the last  part. You don’t have to read it! I just thought you might want to see what happens: @kacie-0156, @texaskitten30, @cordonianroyalty, @kingliam2019, @bebepac, @kingliam-rys, @cordonia-gothqueen, @kimmiedoo5, @bbrandy2002, @loveellamae  @bobasheebaby @losingbraincellseveryday  @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @jared2612 @flutistbyday2020 @debramcg1106 @anotherbeingsworld @leaharhys @cordoniaqueensworld 
This is also part of wacky drabbles hosted by @emceesynonymroll The prompt this week is: #41: Can you move?
Paring: Liam and Riley
Warnings: Mention Miscarriage, Suicidal thoughts, blood. 
Word count: 3541 
Catch up here
(Liam’s Pov)
The members of the council had been doing what they could to keep the country afloat so I could be with Riley and give her my full, undivided attention. 
The miscarrige had just broken her and there’s nothing I can do about it. It was my baby too, I’m devastated too but I’m too focussed on trying to be here for my wife that I haven’t let myself grieve over my loss. 
Riley is even more closed off now. She won’t leave the apartment or the bedroom for that matter with the exception of going to the bathroom or getting a drink now and again. She isn’t eating, barely drinking anything and now she has started to refuse to take her medication and so her seizures have multiplied. Which, too meant, I never left the apartment either. 
Our friends stopped by now and again but Riley would refuse to talk to them. Their visits were few and far inbetween since they had taken on my responsibilities of running my country. 
I just don’t know what to do anymore. 
Seeing the person I love more than anything like this is breaking my heart. Riley didn’t want anyone to know and so I haven’t told anyone. There’s no one I can talk to about it because Riley wants to pretend that it never happened. I can’t begin to imagine how she feels but I know ignoring it and pretending it didn't happen isn't going to help in the long term. 
It’s hard seeing anyone you love struggle with anything but...this is like a sadistic form of torture for me. Or a nightmare that I just can’t escape.
I just wish that I could do something to make this better. 
(Riley’s POV) 
It’s my fault. 
It’s all my fault.
 Liam has tried to tell me otherwise but it doesn't work. Of course it was my fault. There’s no one else to blame. No one else I can blame because it was solely my responsibility to look after our baby and I failed to do that. I’ve been so careful. I’ve done everything I was supposed to do and I still couldn't prevent this. 
I’ve hurt Liam too. He’s devastated even though he won't admit it. 
The last few days have been pure torture. How do I grieve over someone that I never got to meet or hold?
I don’t feel like I deserve to feel sad. My husband has told me so many times that my actions didn’t cause this but we’ll never truly know why this happened. At least last time  I knew it was me that caused it but this time we don’t…
I don’t know how to explain to Liam how I’m feeling. I feel almost...Numb. I don’t care anymore. The baby had been the one thing that was stopping me from doing something stupid and now I don’t have it. 
Anxiety.
 Panic. 
Sadness. 
Guilt. 
All of these emotions are swirling around in my head. Sometimes all these thoughts and feelings are so loud that I can’t hear or focus on anything else but them.  It’s true that no one else can kick you harder than yourself.
All of it leaves me feeling utterly exhausted. I should be helping Liam with running our country, being a good wife, instead I’m useless because I can’t just get it all together. I feel like a failure.
I opened my eyes and sat up in my bed. I can hear birds tweeting outside so I realise it must be reasonably early in the morning stil.
Last night was awful. I had a seizure earlier in the night not long after I had gone to bed, I had fallen asleep for a little while after but woke up and couldn’t seem to fall back asleep after that. 
Liam isn’t beside me. I’m not surprised by that. Our relationship is starting to fall apart, it’s like it’s fraying at the edges. I don’t really know how else to explain it.  I just want everything to go back to how it was. 
I decide to lie here for a little while longer. I’m tired and what’s the point of getting up anyway? 
I’m just about to drift off when I sense someone in front of me and hear a glass be placed down on my bedside table. I opened my eyes, I saw  a glass on the side and a couple of pills beside it. 
I rolled my eyes and turned to lay on my back. When is he going to get the message? 
“Please take them,” I heard Liam’s voice say. I felt the bed dip as he took  a seat beside me. “Love?” 
“Just leave me alone,” I demanded in a tired voice. 
“Please.” I don't respond and he sighs. “You’ll keep having seizures. I know how much they scare you so-” 
“I’m not taking them,” I insisted. 
“It's dangerous to just stop taking your medication,” he reminds me. I already know that, I feel like crap. 
I roll back onto my side and side up with the intention of  getting out of the bed but he’s in the way. “Can you move?” I asked, my voice monotone. Liam raised a brow.
“Where are you going?” 
“I need to shower. Is that okay with you?” I asked, harshly. An unusual bite in my tone. He doesn't say anything as he gets up. I don’t say anything and head out of the bedroom toward the bathroom.
(Liam’s POV)   
It’s a little while later after Riley woke up, I’m sitting in the study after just finishing  a call. I was only down the hall from the bathroom where Riley currently is. My ears perked up  when I heard a bang. I tried to rationalise it. Maybe she just dropped something but that hope is promptly dashed away when it continues. 
I stand up from the desk and head toward the bathroom. I soon arrive at the door, I try to turn the handle but it’s locked. I knocked on the door. 
“Riley,” I called. I got no answer and my heart sank.
Not again. 
I tried to open the door one more time before stepping back slightly and bringing my leg up. I brought it down against the door as hard as I could. The wood splintered around the frame and the door swung open. 
The shower is still running but I can't see Riley in there. I move closer and my wife’s contorting body on the floor is now visible through the glass panels. I move quickly and throw open the door. 
There isn't enough room for me to kneel down beside Riley in the shower so I gently and very quickly move her out to lay on the tiles. I  know moving her isn’t the most ideal thing to do but there's no way I could get to her. 
I turned her over to her side and retrieved two towels off the back of her door to put one under her head and the other over her naked form. I looked down at my watch as the seizure continued. 
A little bit of blood tinged spit started to leak from the corner of her mouth and down onto the bathroom tiles below her. I used the corner of the towel that was under her head to wipe it away. 
I hate this. 
It was about to hit the three minute mark and she had just started to slow down. It only took a few more seconds for her seizure to come to a halt and her body to relax. 3:30 seconds- I made a mental note of it. 
Once I was sure she was alright I stood and switched the sower off before sitting back down beside her.
(Riley’s POV) 
Fear sat deep in my stomach as my eyes fluttered open. 
Where am I? 
Why am I all wet? 
My eyes drifted down to the floor. There’s a hand sitting just by my face, which I soon discover is my own when I wiggled my fingers. 
Why am I on the ground? 
I somehow found the coordination needed to place my palm flat on the floor, I wanted to sit myself up, I tried to push myself up but it’s no use. I’m too weak to do it. 
I’m wet and cold- that’s all i really know right now. 
I can see another hand sitting in front of  my face which is soon discovered is also mine. Beyond my hand  there I see some shoes that most certainly do not belong to me. 
It’s a person. Right in front of me.
I try to scoot away but I don’t get far. 
A wall of disrupted, muffled sound hit my ears as I continued to shuffle away from the stranger beside me. 
“Riley, you’re okay,” someone told me quietly. Sound is a whole new thing to me and their words don't make sense. 
I start to panic and my fight or flight reflex kicks in. I rustle on the floor and try to get away from the figure in front of  me, but the most I can manage to do is withdraw.I just don't have the coordination to get away. 
“It’s okay, Love.” I recognise that voice, I realise but nothing truly makes sense to me. “You had a seizure but you’re okay now. I’m here.”  
The figure comes closer to me and I try to hit it away, punching and whimpering.
“Riley, it’s alright,” He called out to me but I still continue to try and fight. 
I need to get away. 
The figure blocks my weak hands as I throw them through the air.  “Shhh, it’s okay.”
Sound becomes clear to me now and all I could hear properly is my heart pounding in my chest. I listen carefully, I hear water dripping? 
Where am I? 
The floor is cold beneath me. It almost feels like bathroom tiles. I don’t understand what’s going on. 
Why am I wet? 
Something is laying on top of me. It feels almost like a towel....What is going on? 
The more I think about my weird surroundings the more panicked I become the more I try to wiggle away but i don’t have full control over my body yet, my limbs feel heavy. The hands encircling my wrists as my arms are still in the air tighten slightly. 
I’m tired. 
“Riley, It’s okay.” That voice. I know that voice...
Liam. 
I stop moving. I’m safe.  
“It’s Liam, Love,” Liam tells me. Confirming what I already thought. “You’re okay.”
I looked at him, taking in his features and trying to put it all together. My vision is starting to become clearer. 
“Li?” I questioned quietly. 
“It’s me,” He reassured me, “You’re safe.”
I respond by relaxing and bringing my arms back down beside me. Liam gives me a small smile. 
“W-what happened?” I ask. I really don’t remember anything. I think I was in the shower but i don't even remember coming  into the bathroom. 
“You had a little seizure.  I know you’re confused,” He explained  to me sweetly, “but you’re alright.” 
 “Why am I wet?” I ask in a tired voice. 
“You were in the shower.” 
I nodded. I now have better control over my body and sit myself up. I wince slightly at the pain in my left arm. Liam looks down at me and cocked his head. “Are you alright?” 
I nodded as I turned my head and twisted my arm so I could look at the back of it where I’ve already figured out the pain is coming from. There’s a big bruise starting to form like I had suspected. 
“I’m tired,” I mumbled, letting out a yawn and forgetting about my arm. Liam got up to his feet and hooked one arm under my legs and the other around my back. I want to argue with him but I’m too tired too. 
He gently places me down on our bed and helps me change into a clean pair of pjs. It doesn't take me very long after I’ve changed to drift off to sleep. 
It was the next morning, i woke up my muscles ache and my mouth sore. 
When I was a teenager and my epilepsy wasn’t very well controlled I used to be elated when I woke up in the morning because I was so scared I'd have a seizure in the night and not wake up but now...I just feel disappointed? I don’t really care If I wake up anymore . 
I threw the blankets off me to go in search of my husband. I padded down the long hallway toward my kitchen. 
I’m confused as I make my way down the hall as I hear two other voices besides Liam’s. They’re voices I recognise but...why are they here? 
I pushed open the door and saw Liam and my parents sitting at the table. They all turned to look at me. 
“Love-” Liam started but I cut him off. 
“You called my parents on me?” I asked in complete disbelief. “I’m not a child, Liam.” 
“I never said you were,” he said, getting to his feet along with my mom and dad. “ I’m sorry, I’m just worried about you and I don’t know what to do,” he explained. 
“So you decided to call my mom and dad to what? To come and scold me like a child?” I asked, my voice raising. 
Liam shook his head, “No. I-I don’t know what to do.” 
“You did the right thing, Liam.” My mother said as she put a comforting hand on my husband’s shoulder and turned to me. “Sweetheart, we’re all just worried about you.” 
“I’m fine,” I insisted with a shrug. 
“Ri-” Liam started to argue but my mother interrupted. 
“You’re not fine, Riley. We can all see that.” I opened my mouth but she continued speaking before I had the chance to. “You look-” 
“I’m fine,” I rebutted before she could continue. I know how I look, I don’t need to be told. 
“Why aren’t you taking your medication?” She asked me . 
“Because I don’t want to,” I replied, childishly . There are so many reasons. 
My mother sighed, “What is this going to achieve, Riley? We all love you and not one of us wants to see you like this.”  
“Why?” I asked, my voice monotone. 
My dad stepped forward, “If we didn’t care then your mother and I wouldn’t have gotten on the first available flight here, Liam wouldn't have called us.” 
“Why are you doing this to yourself, Ri?” Mom asked me. I looked down at my feet, I don’t really know how to explain this. “Is this because of the miscarriage?” she asked me gently. 
I looked to Liam with a look of betrayal on my face. “You told them?” 
She stepped forward so she was now standing directly in front of me. “Talk to me. No one can help you if you don’t tell us what's bothering you.” I tore my gaze away from hers in favour of looking down at the carpet instead. “I know what losing a baby feels like.” That gained my attention. I looked back up at her, I didn’t know anything about this. “It was before I got pregnant with Josh. I know how easy it is to blame yourself but It wasnt your fault.” 
“But-” 
“But nothing,” she said, placing her hands on my shoulders. “Some things are out of your control. I used to blame myself for your epilepsy. I believed that I had done something wrong to hurt you and that’s why it happened but sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for why things happen, they just do. Riley, this can’t happen again sweetheart, taking your medication isn't a choice, it’s a necessity. You have to take them.” 
“Please listen to your mom, Ri,” my dad spoke up, “Last time this happened, it could’ve ended very differently, you know that. Come on,  you know how  dangerous It can be not to take your medication.”
They looked to me both with a pleading expression. I swallowed thickly as I turned to look at Liam. “Please, Love.” 
On one hand I know they’re right. I know the risks, I know that my seizures will continue and probably get worse and I don’t want that, I don’t want to hurt my family in the process. On the other hand, I don’t care anymore. It’s all just too difficult and draining so i no longer have the energy to care. I feel numb. 
“I’m tired. I’m gonna go back to bed,” I mumbled and without another word head down the hall to my bedroom.
(Liam’s POV) 
We watch Riley walk away and neither of us make an effort to stop her. She’s made it clear that she doesn't want to talk and there’s little to no point in forcing her to. 
I turned back to look at my in-laws as Riley pushed our bedroom door closed.  “This has happened before?” I asked, dumfounded. I know that Riley has been through other hard times but...I never knew she had been this low before. 
Karol nodded. “Yes. When Riley was seventeen she had a boyfriend, Ben. “ I nodded. I knew vague details about that relationship. “She was at his house and had a seizure. He had recorded it and sent it to all of his friends- they relentlessly bullied her. Riley stopped taking her medication- we didn't know to begin with. We trusted her to take it. She had seizures everyday, sometimes more than once but we didn’t know why. Her epilepsy wasnt very well controlled at that time  but it had  never been like that, not since she was very, very young when she was first diagnosed. That Friday, five days after she had last taken her medication she had another seizure and It didn't stop. We were lucky that we were able to get her to the hospital so they could give her some medication to stop the seizure If we hadn’t...she could have died, Liam.” 
If I'm being completely honest, I don’t know how to feel. About any of it actually. 
“How did you get her to start taking them again.” 
“I don’t think she quite realised how important taking her meds were. The whole thing was terrifying for everyone involved,” Micheal explained, “The experience scared her and after that she always made sure to take them.” 
I can’t-” Karol’s sentence was interrupted by a loud  thump coming from our bedroom down the hall.  “What was that?” Karol asked, no one in particular. 
The three of us stayed silent as more thumping sounded from the room. 
“I’ll go and check on her,” I announced as I stood and walked down the hall. The closer I got to the door, the louder the thumping got. 
I have a bad feeling. 
Sadly, I was proved right when I pushed the door open and Riley was in the middle of the floor, her limbs flailing and her back continuing to relax and arch off the ground . 
I didn’t waste any time getting down onto my knees beside her and immediately turned her over onto her side. 
“Okay, it’s alright,” I whispered as I kept a hand on her hip to keep her in the right position as my other ran through her hair . 
I don’t know why but i still have a bad feeling. 
I always panic when this happens. It almost always brings  me to tears because It kills me to see this happen to my extraordinary wife and there’s nothing I can do to stop it but...it feels different, I can’t put my finger on why though.
Her phone was laying just on the bed so I quickly moved to pick it up to start the timer as soon as possible.
Just then, Karol popped her head in. “Is everything-” Her eyes widened when she caught sight of her daughter convulsing on our bedroom floor . 
Karol dropped down onto her knees opposite me and moved a strand of riley’s brunette hair out of her face. 
“Oh sweetheart,” She muttered. She looked up to me as Riley’s violent movement’s continued. “Have you started a-” 
“Yes, I've started a timer.” She nodded. Riley started gagging, Karol and I immediately reacted. I gently pushed her shoulder forward to ensure she was leaned forward enough that it would all come out of her mouth. 
Karol retrieved a hand towel from our en-suite bathroom and wiped the sick away. I hadn't noticed but Michael was now standing in the doorway. He could obviously see that we were handling it and decided to leave us to it. 
I looked down at the timer nervously, “It’s coming up on 4 minutes now.” 
“She’s not slowing down at all,” Karol said. I could hear the panic in her voice. Riley’s seizures rarely lasted this long, occasionally they would but normally she’d be slowing down but her jerking is just as violent as it was to begin with. 
“Let’s not panic,” Micheal said. I could see the pure fear etched across his and Karol’s face- I’m sure the same expression is written across my own. 
She should  be stopping or should have stopped by now. 
It felt like an eternity later but very little time had actually passed and now the timer was now over 5 minutes plus however long it had been going on before we arrived. Michael stepped out of the room to call an ambulance. 
“It’s okay, Love,”  I said quietly as I stroked her cheek, “We’re going to get you help. Its going to be okay.” 
I just kept talking to her, I don’t know what else to do. There's nothing I can do. I couldn’t stop a tear from slipping. I feel so utterly powerless. 
“I know you’re going to be pissed at me later when you find out we called paramedics,” I said, letting out a small chuckle through my tears. “We’ve  just got to make sure there is a ‘later,’ okay Love?” 
53 notes · View notes
solargroup09 · 4 years
Text
Laser Tag
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× summary: how to flirt playing laser tag
× pairing: Yueliang x Haechan
× genre: fluff
× wc 2006 words
× notes: I know laser tag is a non-contact sport but… yeah whatever
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
Two months.
Two months since that movie night at NCT dorm.
Two months since I gave Haechan my phone number, two months since he looked at me with sparks in his eyes.
Two months of constant texting. From that night on, Haechan and I were always talking, always chatting. Sometimes it was long, deep conversations that would leave me beaming because he understood me so well and sometimes it was just nonsensical memes and cute puppy videos that made me laugh and swoon.
We would send each other lists of questions to answer, trying to satisfy that growing desire to know. We were burning of curiosity and, without really noticing, we found ourselves addicted to talking to each other.
Since I was an early bird, I got the habit of sending Haechan a good morning text while I had breakfast. I would answer the questions he’d leave during the night together with goodnight wishes and leave him some of my own curiosities. I usually sent him my rough schedule, in hope that we’d find time to videocall.
I used to hate video calling people but Haechan had a way to make despicable things (like being awake at 3 am) sound appealing. And with him they were. I would be so tired and sleepy but he would make me laugh and tell me funny stories and I would totally forget about sleeping.
Haechan made me feel a rollercoaster of emotions and instead of feeling scared, I was just so excited. Haechan (that now I was so used to call Donghyuck and sometimes, when I wanted to see him blush, just Hyuck) was so sweet and so lively. He was the best at making me stop dwelling on things that made me sad and could make me smile in no time. He was attentive, always remembering the little things I said and caring, because he always made sure I was eating, resting and taking breaks from studying.
Haechan was making it difficult not to fall for him.
One evening, we were talking about Doyoung upcoming birthday. NCT members were planning a surprise party at a laser tag arena and I had been invited as well, being part of the ’96 line.
“You should hope to be in the same team as me” he texted, when I mentioned that there will be a big match with teams.
“Why? I think it will be funnier to shoot you” I replied, chuckling.
“You don’t want to have me as your opponent, trust me”.
“Should I be scared? Because I am not. I won’t have any mercy on you, Haechan”.
“Who’s Haechan?”, he replied, making me laugh. It felt weird to use his stage name to address him now and I sometimes used it to make him sulk or to annoy him.
The conversation shifted on other topics but I couldn’t stop thinking about seeing him again after so long.
•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
February arrived quickly and, as planned, we were celebrating at the laser tag arena. After surprising a very confused Doyoung and eating some cake, we started planning the game.
We decided, since the arena was very large, to play Capture the Flag so we divided in two teams, chose two bases at the opposite ends of the field and hide the flags. We had the ’96 line team and the NCT 127 team, with nine people each, since Doyoung was going to play with his members.
We settled up on the rules (do not hide your sensor to avoid losing points, be careful of your surroundings, do not run) and the point system and we gave ourselves some time to elaborate strategies before starting. As I was joining my team, I saw Haechan looking at me. When he noticed me he smiled slyly and winked. He then turned around to listen to his hyungs, leaving me blushing slightly. It was disappointing not being in the same team as Haechan because that would stop us from spending time together but I was up for the challenge. I was sure that Haechan would definitely try to be the clever fox he always was but I was determined to win.
With a smile, I turned to Ari, Woozi and the others: -So what’s the plan?
I was giving one last look at the map of the field when someone whistled loudly.
-Okay- said the arena employee, -the game is about to start. To win you need to capture the other team’s flag and take it to your own base or to eliminate all players on the opposite team. Please remember the rules and have fun!
We settled in the positions we chose while planning and we waited for the NCT members to do the same. I looked around and spotted Jun and Chungha, who flashed a smile in my direction. Like them, I was so excited to play and I really wanted to win. Everything was motionless for a while before the employee whistled again, signaling that the game has officially started.
I watched Ari and Changkyun (an obvious pairing since they had such a great chemistry) moving east trying to distract our opponents, while Wonwoo and Rowoon did the same towards west. Chungha and Jun decided to stay back to protect our flag, while Hoshi, Woozi and I would try to go and steal NCT flag.
Since we couldn’t run, we walked as fast as possible towards our opponents’ side of the field. The arena looked a bit like a maze so there were tons of places where they could be hiding, ready to shoot us, but we kept going, feeling like some kind of SWAT team on a mission. I felt the adrenaline growing and I was so excited I nearly missed Yuta (or was it Jaehyun?) aiming at us from behind a wall.
-Watch out!- I exclaimed, pushing Hoshi away from the trajectory of the laser.
I hid behind a corner and started shooting. The game was about points so Yuta would not die immediately, we had to shoot him multiple times or wait for him to run away. After a while Yuta stopped shooting so we kept going, now more attentive.
We all had a smartwatch telling us how many life points we had left and how many shoot points we got. I checked mine and I still had eight life points, so I was doing pretty well. Hoshi and Woozi lost three lives each so we kept going through the maze.
We were getting closer to NCT members’ base but we got into a trap not long after. Jungwoo, Mark and Taeil ambushed us in a space where there wasn’t much to hide behind to so Hoshi lost all of his life points immediately. Woozi and I got separated and after I found shelter, I could not see my teammate anymore. I hoped he was still alive (I just lost four life points) and I decided to try and go get the flag myself.
I circled around the point where I thought Jungwoo, Taeil and Mark were, and I saw it. The flag was lying there, close but awfully exposed. I tightened my grip on my laser gun and, while walking as close as possible to the wall, I went towards the flag.
I was going to pick it up when someone said: -Easy there, Yue.
I froze because I knew perfectly who that voice belonged to.
I turned around to find Haechan pointing his laser gun at me.
-Really?- I mumbled. -This is such a cliché scene.
He lowered the gun and smiled: -We love a good kdrama moment.
-So you won’t shoot me?
Haechan shrugged, smiling defiantly.
-Can I take the flag, then?
-That would make me a terrible tactician.
I pointed my gun at him: -Then seems like I have to shoot you.
He opened his arms: -Have fun.
I stared at him, unconvinced.
-Are you letting me win?- I asked, genuinely confused. That was definitely not something Haechan would do.
-You may shoot me, get the flag but I never said you could walk away with it.
I rolled my eyes, he was so into the role.
-Then I should at least eliminate you- I muttered, aiming at his chest.
-Haechan, have you seen Yueliang?- shouted Doyoung, who was approaching the base. I lowered the gun and started walking away, knowing that Doyoung would have no mercy on me.
I was going to turn around the corner when I felt someone taking my hand. It was Haechan, who pushed me to go faster.
-This way- he whispered and I looked at him, shocked.
-But Hyuck…
-They’re behind us, let’s go!
He guided me through the maze and I could hear Doyoung and maybe Mark calling after Haechan. They were getting closer and closer. I got anxious and nearly started running, holding Haechan's hand tightly. When I thought they would find us, Haechan pulled me behind a corner and behind a thin wall. We hid there even if it wasn’t exactly permitted to lurk and not play.
We heard Mark and Doyoung walking next to us, but they didn’t turn the corner as we did, they kept going, calling Haechan and wondering where he went.
After a couple seconds of silence spent looking at each other, we started giggling and we tried so hard to suppress it but it was useless. The adrenaline we got from running away was getting to us and I whispered: -Shhh!
Haechan chuckled again and I looked at his plump lips like I was hypnotized. My eyes stopped for a second too long because he noticed me and smirked.
-I think we can leave- he whispered, and I realized how close he was. I felt my cheeks getting red and I nodded: -Yes, I think we can.
But we both stayed there. We kept looking at each other, breathing deeply and waiting for the other to do something. He looked so good with his hair all messy, his lips as kissable as ever and his sun kissed skin seemed so warm and so soft I had to force my hands to stay still.
Half of my brain was telling me that staying there was not a good idea and that we needed to go back, but at the same time I didn’t want to stop being so close to Haechan.
-Did you just ditch your members for me?
Haechan smirked: -The game was getting boring.
-That’s why you wanted me to shoot you? You were bored?
He shook his head: -You looked cute with your gun and your focused pout.
I tried not to show that I felt delighted, but my face got flushed anyways.
-If you want I can shoot you now.
Haechan brushed the hair away from my face and smiled cocky: -A game is still a game, Yue.
I raised my eyebrows, confused when he pulled away from me. He took his laser gun and pointed it at my chest.
He shot.
I heard the smartwatch beep and I knew it was telling me that I had been eliminated. I only had four points left and hitting an opponent on the chest was the only way to take 5 points from them.
Haechan had just eliminated me with a smile on his face.
I was so offended that I couldn’t formulate a phrase. He chuckled, pleased, and walked away.
Fuming, I followed him.
-Lee Donghyuck- I said and he turned around, still smiling in that cocky way of his, full of bad boy bravado. I thought that smile looked so well on him but I kept that thought to myself and said: -You owe me a date for this.
His eyes sparkled with amusement and he bowed: -Your wish is my command, Yue.
And I watched him go away all happy with himself. I nearly wanted to smack him, but I tried to focus on calming my running heart and my weak knees. He did win this game but I was feeling like I just won something way better…
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smallblueandloud · 4 years
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aah sending you so many asks sorry!! i’m in love with the andy/cj/toby ot3 from what you’ve said and i’m so excited to finish the show😌 what fics would you recommend? sorry to bother you so much! when in the series do you think i should read “such a winters day”? tysm ily have a great night/day
aaaah no you’re so good, i’m sorry i took a few days to answer!! it’s been... A Few Days. but i absolutely love getting excuses to talk about the west wing and you’re lovely so please don’t apologize!!
as for fic recs... tbh i have not been as good about reading west wing fic as i should. i have a couple of amazing fics to rec, but also, from what i can tell, the majority of the fandom seems to predate ao3? and i haven’t not used ao3 since i swore off fanfic.net in like... 2017. @etraytin has been archiving a josh/donna yahoo group that she saved when yahoo groups died last year, and while i haven’t gotten the chance to check it out yet, i know there’s a lot of good stuff there, so feel free to take a look! i can’t warn about spoilers there though.
the first fic that i have to rec is one that you will already be able to read! ourselves and immortality by the inimitable etraytin is a very, very deliciously angsty fic set after 1x12, with the premise that... everyone at the state of the union dies, and the “designated survivor” roger tribbey becomes president. fun times! very, very angsty times. warning for major character death, obviously. i read that fic last week while in the throes of deep, deep stressing, and i enjoyed myself immensely. no spoilers for anything after 1x12, because nothing... happens the way it did in canon? so you’re safe, lol.
there’s also such a winter’s day (aka the california dreaming series) which is set after 6x09, although i wouldn’t recommend reading it until you finish the whole series. while it’s technically canon-divergent, it parallels a lot of canon events, and you probably won’t notice the easter eggs of changes in the timeline until you’ve seen them in the show. it’s a WONDERFUL fic/series, with the poly rep i need in my life, and i highly recommend it!! just like. after you finish tww lol.
now, the GREATEST injustice of my life is that there are ZERO fics on ao3 tagged with the ot3. zero. nada. ZILCH. i feel cheated. (apparently people used to ship them?? way back when?? i’m a fandom baby though so i have no idea where i’d even FIND that.)
i have found, however, a handful of phenomenal cj/toby and cj/andy fics. i am but one person who doesn’t read explicit fic, so i haven’t seen everything, but may i please present an approximate rescue (featuring the best take on toby/cj i have ever seen, but don’t read until you’ve finished season 3, warning for some sorta-explicit sexytimes) and that obliterated place (featuring the ONLY fic i’ve found that agrees with my take on the ot3, but don’t read until you’ve watched 4x05, warning for some less-explicit sexytimes) and also, y’know, my own fic with these three (set in the sense8 au that i will NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT. but don’t read until you’ve finished 7x21!)
people better than myself have made rec lists of joshdonna fanfic, and i have a migraine, so i’m not gonna list a bunch of fics, but please go looking for them because there’s a LOT of fanfic and it’s all AMAZING. shoutout to heirlooms, which has spoilers for season 3 but which i love very much anyways. (i also have two joshdonna fics but one of them is a spoiler for 5x21 and the other one is a spoiler for... basically the entirety of s7.)
again, disclaimer that i haven’t actually READ a lot of west wing fanfic! for example, @cassiesinsanity is a mutual of mine and i still haven’t gotten the chance to go through her fic (oops). but i would vouch for its amazingness based on her mcu fics and her general awesomeness. check out her ao3!
anyways, all this is to say: y’all! putting out the call! if you have west wing fanfic that won’t spoil things after 2x10, please reblog this with links! if you have west wing fanfic that’s set after 2x10 but you feel you should rec it anyways, go for it! just make sure to note what part of the show it’s set at.
shhh this is not an excuse for me to ask for west wing fic recs. no ma’am.
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love-bucky-3000 · 5 years
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Hades (Descendants 3) x Reader
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Request-  Please write a fic where the reader is mal's friend likes hades but doesn't know it's mal's dad and when she finds out she's like oh shit 
WC 1.1k
AN- Thank you so much for the request! Keep sending! The reader knew who Hades was but I may write another one about the reader not knowing. I hope this is okay, it’s midnight and I’m having Hades feels send help. Not edited
Everything happened so fast. First Mal was getting engaged to Ben, Audrey tried to become, Maleficent, and now the two Isles were connected? What a time to be alive. Out of breath from all the dancing, you took a break to look around at the new residences of Auradon. Things were finally looking up. No more worrying and no more suffering for the villain kids. Your eyes caught Mal’s and she quickly waved you over. You walked over and hugged her. “Great job, Mal! You did it!” you exclaimed when you pulled back from the hug. “It was Uma’s plan, all I did was enforce it,” Mal said and glanced back at Uma, who was trying to get Gil away from the food table. You laughed and glanced back at your friends from the Isle. They all looked so happy.
“Now, Mally, who might this one be?” A deep voice brought you out of your thoughts. You spun around and was met with a strong-looking chest. You slowly dragged your eyes up the blue and black leather of the figure’s clothes to see a very handsome man with black eyeliner and a fiery blue mohawk. His eyebrow was cocked and his head was tilted to the right. You suddenly felt exposed in your strapless dress and crossed your arms. That apparently didn’t help. His eyes immediately landed on your chest. 
Mal saved you from any further embarrassment by grabbing your shoulders. “Dad… this is (Y/N), my first Auradon friend. (Y/N), this is my dad… Hades.” Well, that explains the blue and the same color eyes. You smiled. You were a princess, manners come first. You stuck your hand out for a shake. He cracked a small smile and shook your hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet Mal’s father! Welcome to Auradon,” you said, probably too excited. Way to be smooth in front of the hot guy. You blinked. Hot?! His voice brought you back to reality, “the pleasure is all mine, Princess.” The word was said with a teasing voice but it still brought a blush to your face. You hid it was a cough and made an excuse to leave and grab a drink.
Two weeks had passed since you seen Hades. Sadly. You were at Evie’s with Mal, helping her with a dress fitting for the upcoming wedding. You were taking down measurements for Evie when a knock sounded from the front. “I got it,” you stood up and handed the notebook to Mal to hold. You skipped to the door and opened it. Your greeting was cut short when you saw who was at the door. Hades was leaned against the doorframe with a smirk on his face. Eyes were still rimmed with black but his clothes had been switched to nicer versions of what he wore on the Isle. “D-do you need Mal?” Stop stuttering, you buffoon. You thought. Hades shook his head and stood straighter. “I came to see you. I would like to talk to you. Somewhere more private…” he trailed off and your breath hitched. What? “Oh, um, we can meet down by the Enchanted Lake? If you’ve seen it?” You surprised yourself with a steady voice. Hades nodded, “Tomorrow. Four p.m. Don’t disappoint me,” his voice ended with a small growl that had another blush finding its way to your face. You nodded and closed the door. You leaned back against the door. What am I going to do? That’s Mal- “(Y/N)! Where are you?” Evie’s voice rang from the other room. “I’m coming back!” 
“Wait, why is your face red?” Who was at the door?” Mal asked. She was finally out of the dress and back into her normal clothes. “Um, n-no one?” Evie rolled her eyes but then lit up. “Was it that secret crush? Oh! I should have came with you” she squealed, “Mal! She’s talking to her crush!”  You wouldn’t meet Mal’s eyes, but nervously laughed anyway, “yeah…” 
The next day came too quickly for your liking. You tossed and turned all night, wondering what Hades needed to talk to you about. It felt like you’ve only been asleep for a few minutes when the sun came through your curtains. A knock brought you out of bed. Evie was on the other side, “do you have anything to do today? I can really use an extra pair of hands at the shop.” Maybe this will be a good distraction. So you told Evie you’ll meet her there and began to get ready for the day.
“Evie, I have to leave at four if that’s all good,” you said as you entered the shop. Evie gave you a sideways glance that told you that she was planning something but you shook it off. “Yeah, we’ll be done before then, hopefully,” she was distracted by texting someone on the phone, “can you start by checking the amount of fabric we’ll need?”
The day was going as normal until you went to the bathroom. As you passed by one of the huge windows, you spotted a shape standing at the foot of the forest. It was Hades. You paused as your heart skipped. He was wearing his normal all black but this time his leather jacket was thrown over his shoulder and his biceps bulged out of his tight black shirt. You met his eyes and he smirked. He tapped his imaginary watch and turned back into the forest. Your eyes flew to the clock on the wall to find it already 3:40. Oh no. You rushed back to Evie to get your stuff and ran back out of the house, missing her little smirk at her phone.
You were out of breath by the time you made it to the Enchanted Lake. Hades was nowhere to be seen. Your heart dropped to your stomach. Was this all just a setup? “I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show up,” a smooth voice whispered in your ear. You jumped ten feet into the air. You spun around and clutched your bag to your chest. “Hades! Where did you come from?” He just chuckled and stepped closer to you. He tucked a fallen piece of hair that had fell in front of your face. If your face could stop blushing, that would be nice. He actually smiled as you ducked your head. “U-um, what did you ne-” Hades cuts you off with a finger to your lips. “Shhh,” he started to lean in, your heart was beating too fast to be healthy. You head tilted to the side to meet him in the middle. Your lips barely brushed when a shrill voice cut through the blue fog that filled your brain. Mal. Oh shit…
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spicyboilouis · 4 years
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pt 2 to it’s over isn’t it
(Only because I love them too much to see the suffer)
Regulus lived out his adult life and is now in a retiring home where he watches Disney movies with the teenagers who volunteer here. Regulus likes it a lot. He’s used to being on his own anyway. Sirius died a couple of years back and Remus died a couple of months after that. Regulus likes to think that Remus just could not live in a world where Sirius Black was not in. Regulus was still here and it was as nice as being alone could be. Well, he wasn’t as alone as he makes himself out to be. Harry and Ginny and their children would often visit him on the weekends and sometimes Ron and Hermione would tag along as well. Today was Saturday and in came the Potters. Ginny said she would take the kids to eat while Harry talked to Regulus. Which Regulus thought was odd, but didn’t question it.
“Papa! Hey how are you doing?”
“Harry oh darling I’m fine. How are you”
Harry sat dragged a chair to be by Regulus bed and was looking pretty serious. Regulus frowned and took Harry’s hand. Harry smiled a bit before a frown took over again.
“There’s just this one thing I need to ask you. I’ve had this question since I was 16.”
“Ok...whats the question Harry?”
Harry took a deep breath before looking into Regulus eyes. Harry’s eyes were filled with sadness and this whole interaction wasn’t making sense to Regulus. What was happening?
“Did you have a crush on my biological dad? It’s just the way you talk about my birth dad is the same way I talk about Ginny, and the same way Ron talks about Hermione.” Regulus can’t hold the truth from Harry anymore. Regulus doesn’t know when he’s gonna die but he knows it soon. So he gives him an answer.
“That’s a...tricky thing to answer. Well I guess you could say yes. We dated for a year before in joined the death eaters by my parents will. Once I came to my senses and fled it had been to late. Your father was with your mother.” Regulus already felt the tears and but he shook them away and sat up a bit squeezing Harry’s hand. “I was too late and I saw how happy Lily made James and I couldn’t come between that. He much happier with Lily then he was with me. So I just became his close friend. It’s pathetic i know, but I just wanted to feel close to him even though he wasn’t mine anymore. I wanted him to be happy more than anything in this world...I still do.” Harry had tears running down his cheeks and he leaned forward planting his elbows into the mattress.
“Regulus Arcturus Black you are not pathetic...you’re in love.” Regulus rolled his eyes out of habit but Harry kept going. “ You loved my dad so much you let him be happy with someone else. You’re so strong. I don’t think I’d ever be able to just see Ginny happy with someone else everyday.”
“Be thankful you never have to deal with that. It’s the worse type of pain. One that for me never went away.”
“Is that why you never dated anyone? My whole life I’ve never seen you dating anyone.” Regulus laughed because merlin knows he’s tried.
“I’ve been on some yes...none of them felt right. Ugh I must sound like Snape going on about Lily” Harry snickered but quickly assured Regulus he’s nothing like snape.
“Im glad you told me papa” Regulus smiled and Ginny returned with the kids and everything was alright.
~~~~
It was Sunday morning and the whole family was sitting at the table eating their breakfast and talking. The phone rang and Ginny went to answer it.
“Hello is this the Potter residence?”
“Yes it is who is this?”
“Oh sorry this is the retiring home your relative is at a mister....Regulus Black?”
“Oh yes! That’s my father in law”
“Yes, sadly he passed away last night. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Oh...thank you” Ginny hung up the phone, and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. Harry would depend on her during this hard time and she needed to be strong for him. She decided to tell Harry and then they’d tell the kids together. She sat back down and said the call was from some kid playing a telephone prank.
After breakfast Ginny pulled Harry into their bedroom and sat him on the bed.
“Ginny? What’s wrong?” She sat down on his lap and wrapped her his shoulders.
“Harry the call at breakfast wasn’t from a prank caller.”
“Ok...who was it from then?”
“...the retirement home”
“Oh did we forgot something while visiting pa?”
“No honey...Regulus died last night” Harry got pale and was stiff. The tears already welling up in his eyes.
“He died? No...they’re lying” Ginny pulled him into a hug rubbing soothing circles into his back.
“Why would they lie about something like that love?”
“I don’t know! They just have to be lying he can’t....he can’t be dead. He can’t be dead he’s my dad” Harry wrapped his arms around Ginny’s waist hugging her back and it was such a tight hug but Ginny didn’t dare say anything.
~~~~~~~~
Regulus fell asleep in the retirement home and woke up in a white room. A weird lady with short blue hair showed him around and dropped him off at some weird common place. There were so many people around him he was a bit overwhelmed. He missed Harry he knew Harry was going to be devastated once he found out. A weird parting was formed and he saw Harry sobbing and Ginny hugging and comforting him.
“Oh don’t cry darling please. I love you so much Harry so please don’t cry too much.”
~~~~~
Afterlife wasn’t so bad James found it kinda freeing no more stupid war. He did terribly miss the people who were still alive. He missed Sirius like crazy. He wanted to be able to raise his son with his wife and for baby Harry to have a nice family. That dream basically went to shit when both James and Lily died. They watched over Harry from above and were pleasantly surprised when Regulus took Harry in. James missed Regulus a lot...a lot more than he should for being just friends with him.
Lily and James were both looking down at their own funerals when they both heard Regulus love confession about James to Remus. Lily was sad for a bit because she knew that James was still in love with Regulus. She knew and she wanted James to be happy so she let him go. They’re still the best of friends no bad blood between them.
James was just walking around aimlessly as one does when they’re bored when he paused. He heard something familiar but couldn’t place it. James being the gryffindor he is went after the sound and found a man sitting and looking down. He was muttering to himself and was shaking.
“...please don’t cry darling everything’s gonna be ok Harry”
James’ eyes went wide as the realization struck.
“...Regulus?” Regulus turned quickly because he could never forget that voice.
“James” for a second it was just them standing there looking at each other like the other wasn’t real. James couldnt take it and pulled him into a hug burrying his nose into Regulus’ neck to just breathe him in. Hot tears landed on him and Regulus was hugging him really tightly.
“Baby shhh it’s ok you’re alright now.” The crying seemed to increase by that sentence and James could do nothing more than say comforting words and rub his back.
“baby? what happened to lily?”
“Ah the whole death do us part kinda took its course now we’re apart as in not dating not married. We kinda realized we aren’t a match for each other.”
“Oh well in that case...”
James smirked his hands rose up to cradle regulus’ head in his hands.
“in that case?”
“I’m in love with you have been for a while.” James laughed squeezing Regulus face together.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me sooner Reggie because I love you too...I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you” Regulus looked so happy and he was. Regulus was insanely happy because James loves him. James loves Regulus.
“Can I kiss you?” James nodded and so they kissed and Regulus never felt as happy as he does right now. Who knew that dying would get him and James back together.
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resident-beekeeper · 4 years
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This is a continuation of this post, because that was getting far too long so I thought I'd split it up.
When it gets to autumn it's time to get honey and wax.
Early autumn mind, so the bees have plenty of time to build up depleted stores ready for winter.
Geralt puts bee escapes in the hives they're collecting from (basically 1 way gate things that gets all the bees out of a super so they aren't there when you take it away), but obviously not in all of them because not all the colonies are strong enough to give honey.
Of course Jaskier insists upon helping Geralt carry the supers into their house because there are quite a lot of them.
Only it turns out that honey is very heavy and he doesn't have the upper body strength to lift a super and then carry it any distance. So Geralt takes it off his hands.
In his defence he did try very hard to lift a full super. Definitely gets points for effort, if nothing else.
The kitchen then gets covered in cardboard and sheets are hung up to cover the door frames. It is also thoroughly cleaned so the honey is free of bacteria and stuff.
Now it's time for spinning.
Geralt is old fashioned in his beekeeping and so has a hand powered centrifuge. Which means that he needs to spend a while spinning the honey round and round to get it out of the wax. It's pretty hard work and his muscles look very good.
This is the best picture I could find on the internet of a centrifuge. Mine is a little different and has a lid to help avoid spillages but its currently underneath a lot of stuff because I won't need it for several months. Anyway Geralt would spin the handle that's on the side.
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Jaskier is on holding the centrifuge steady duty because he's strong enough for that, and not trusted with a knife. It also gives him a chance to look at Geralt's muscles but shhh.
Yennefer for some reason is trusted with a knife, so she's cutting the caps off the cells. (Honey gets little wax lid things put on it by bees to preserve it, called caps. This needs cutting off so that the centrifuge gets it out properly. A hot knife is best to cut through wax because it melts ot a bit.)
Ciri is in charge of giving Yennefer the honeycomb to cut the caps off, removing the wax that had been spun from the centrifuge from its wooden frames and giving hot water to Yennefer to heat up her knife.
Which sound like a lot but it doesn't take much to move around frames, and the hot water only needs replacing every 15 minutes or so. So it's only 1 proper job really.
This makes it sound a lot calmer than it was. It was highly highly chaotic.
For one thing, honey gets fucking everywhere and is very sticky. But it's also surprisingly slippery when theres above a certain amount in 1 place.
Jaskier keeps eating bits of honeycomb with honey in which slowly makes him feel sick from all the sweetness. But also now hes got beeswax in his mouth and nowhere to put it. And if you chew beeswax for long enough it gets all crumbly.
Ciri, Geralt, and Yennefer's hair gets honey and small bits of wax in it even though its tied back. None of them can go outside in case bees or wasps find them and follow them back inside to where all the honey is.
When all of the honey has been spun, and then transferred into a settling bin (a smaller tub that you put honey in to let bits of wax rise to the top so its easier to get them out of the honey) it's time to deal with the sticky wax.
Geralt and Ciri normally make beeswax candles together, but the wax needs to not have any honey in it otherwise it smells of burnt sugar when it burns and smokes a bit.
So they need to separate out the honey and wax by melting it. (Wax is hydrophobic and less dense than honey so it rises to the top and when it solidifies you can take it off in blocks. This often needs to happen twice.)
They all gather up the wax that Ciri got out of the frames and squash it into some metal dishes that Geralt has for wax melting. (I do not have this sort of thing, but I figured Geralt probably would. Instead I use dishes that are also used for food which are always a massive pain to clean.)
They then get put into the oven which is on very low, and left for a while. Geralt takes them out when the wax has melted because it's a lot of hot liquid that really needs to not be spilled especially because wax is very hard to get off stuff.
There's lots of metal wires in the wax that need taking out with great care, so of course Jaskier underestimates how hot the melted wax actually is, reaches into the wax to get the wires out, and promptly burns himself.
Ciri takes out the wire with a fork so that she doesn't burn herself.
She also takes out the wax that hasn't melted, which is bad for making candles with. (I have no idea why there is wax like that but there always is. Its generally a different colour too.)
Once its cooled down, Ciri takes the wax and cleans it. (Theres always gunk inbetween the honey and wax when it separates.)
Every year as a treat, Geralt lets Ciri choose one extra candle mould when she makes candles. At this point she has about 10, because she started off with more than 1 anyway.
This year she decides on a light house because she doesn't have many tall candle moulds.
Jaskier gets wind of this and decides he wants to get Geralt one. So he gets the THORNE catalogue and looks at the candle moulds. (THORNE is a supplier of bee stuff. There's so much stuff you can buy from them, including a bee suit with knee pads built into it. They sell candle moulds too, along with wicks.)
There are a lot of potential candles for Jaskier to choose from.
He's very tempted by the 'lovers' one because he is giving it to Geralt.
But then he turns the page and sees a candle that has been censored for the magazine.
And it is called '50 shades of wax'. So of course Jaskier has to get it because hes almost certain Geralt's reaction will be priceless. (This particular candle is one that I saw in a THORNE catalogue. I have no idea how many people would ever want to buy it, especially because you couldn't see what was going on because it had a red box covering most of it that said '18+' on it.)
He orders it separately from Ciri's though, because it needs to be a surprise and also he doesn't want to explain to Ciri why he got it for her dad.
When it arrives he shows it to Geralt just before they're about to go to bed.
Geralt isn't really aware of books that have come out even slightly recently, unless it's something that Ciri likes.
So when he sees what it's called, and especially without knowing what it looks like (it's a solid mould and a relatively complicated design so it's difficult to see what it is) hes just really confused.
Because of course you can dye wax so that it's different colours, but those aren't really shades?
And beeswax does come in slightly different colours, but that's normally impurities in the wax, rather than the wax itself being a different shade.
So Geralt just looks at it in confusion for a long time.
Jaskier eventually puts him out of his misery by explaining why it's called that, and roughly what it will look like.
But by this point the mood Jaskier was hoping for has well and truly been spoiled.
But at least he got a laugh out of it, if not how he was expecting to.
That's probably enough for now? I'm definitely gonna add more. They still need to feed the bees and actually make candles. Among other stuff.
(@jaskierisanangel because someone wanted to be tagged so they could see more? Which is wild to me but also makes me so happy)
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