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berrynarrybanana · 4 years

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i want more berries

A/N: She’s a long one. I used that gif on purpose, as well. I hope you enjoy this smut and fluff filled chapter. Please let me know what you all think so far :)

Word count: 13.3k+

Warnings: Smut, alcohol, mentions of death and loss

P.S tell me if there’s something specific you’d like to see in the next few chapters!

Bea’s POV

I had a dream about Harry.

I dreamt that after our steamy rooftop kiss, he swept me away to his beautiful home in Malibu. I dreamt that we kissed for hours, his hands sliding under the hem of my dress to grip at my bum as I pressed my palms against his face. He treated me so well in my dream, letting me roll my hips against his for a little while before he slipped a hand around to my front. In my dream, his fingers stretched me out, bringing me right to the brink of an earth shattering orgasm.

And just as things were about to get good, my phone alarm pulled me from my dream; like a bucket of ice water being dumped over my head. It was the worst way to wake up, the sun blaring through the window as I tried to open my eyes. I hissed out, turning my face into the pillow below me before reaching for my phone. I let out a sigh of relief as I turned the intrusive noise off, closing my eyes

I had plans to be punctual for.

A hazy memory of coordinating a birthday brunch with Gemma Styles came to memory as I sat up in bed, brushing my hands through my hair to get it out of my face. We made plans for twelve-thirty at a cafe just a few miles from our rental home and Harry’s Malibu Mansion. I set my alarm for eight in the morning, hoping that my hangover wouldn’t be that bad so I could indulge in a solo walk.

It was something I picked up on after moving out of my parents house, a habit that helped keep my mind clear and my calves toned. California had so many beautiful parks that I wanted to branch out and see a few of them, without the group tagging along. As I turned back, grabbing the water bottle I set on my bedside table last night, my bedroom door opened.

Tara poked her head in, a mess of brown curls piled on her head and a gentle smile on her face. I smiled back at her, reaching for my two pain killers to help ease the ache behind my forehead, as a gesture for her to come in. She shut the door quietly behind her, plopping down with her legs crossed at the end of my bed. I took my painkillers, resting my water bottle between my legs as she moved around a little, trying to find a comfortable position where the sun wasn’t shining in her eyes.

“Good morning,” I chuckled, handing her my bottle. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.” She nodded. “I stopped drinking at bar four.”

“Smart move,” I laughed. “What are you doing up so early?”

“I heard your alarm.” She shrugged. “I just wanted to see what you were up to so early in the morning.”

“Gonna go for a walk at Solstice Canyon.” I said softly. “Why?”

“I just...didn’t know if you had plans with Harry this morning.” She said slowly, avoiding my raised brows. “You two were pretty cozy last night.”

“Not that I know of.” I said slowly. “Just brunch with everyone later. Why?”

“I just think you should be careful with him.” She said like the words were burning her throat, spitting them out quickly before she snapped her mouth shut.

“Tara,” I said softly, confused by her warning. “Why do you think that?”

“Because he’s Harry fucking Styles.” She whisper yelled, leaning forward. “You made out with him on a rooftop bar last night like you were high-school sweethearts! You looked like Matt and Chloe, making out like the rest of us didn’t exist. I’ve never seen you kiss someone like that.”

“That’s not true.” I groaned, rolling my head back as I tried to find the right words to say. “You’ve seen me kiss people before, T.”

“Not like that.” She repeated.

I didn’t blame her for warning me about Harry.

I was a little skeptical of the entire thing myself.

But I really liked him.

My whole life, I had been looking for that spark you hear about in movies and read about in books. And I hadn’t really dated that much, but I had never felt that spark with anyone else besides Harry. Something about the way he looked at me, like I was the only person there, made my insides turn to mush and my heart pound in my chest. I rolled my head forward, looking at Claire as she started peeling the label off of the water bottle in her hands.

“I really like Harry.” I said softly. “And you know how hard that is for me, T. I know I should be skeptical because he’s Harry Fucking Styles, but I don’t want to be! I want to actually try this time, to get lost in someone just because I’m young and I can. I want to be myself around him without worrying or feeling judged. I feel like I can do that with him, Tara.”

“I want that for you too.” She whispered. “But his track record puts me on edge, Beatrice.”

“Because I’m not a model, like the other ones?” I asked. “Or a singer, or an actress, or a famous daughter...I’m just me, right? I can’t help that, Tara. And I’m insecure about that on my own, you don’t need to remind me.”

“That’s not what I mean, Beatrice.” She groaned as I got out of bed, walking towards the ensuite bathroom. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I don’t care if he ends up hurting me, Tara!” I exclaimed, walking over to the sink as she rested her hip against the door frame. “It’s too early for this conversation. I haven’t even had time to process it all myself and I just….I just need to go on my walk.”

“Okay.” She said. “I love you to death, Bea. You’re an amazing friend and you always look out for us. I’m just looking out for you this time.”

“Thank you.” I said softly. “It’s a nice gesture, but I’m a little hungover and extremely overwhelmed. Maybe we can talk after brunch?”

“I’d like that.” She said. “Have a good walk. Text me your location so I know where you are, just in case someone decides to kidnap you.”

“I will.” I let out a soft chuckle, watching as she retreated.

As I turned the water on in the sink, I heard my phone ringing from the bedroom.

I quickly rushed over, not wanting the sound to wake anyone else. One concerned friend was enough for me this morning. I answered the call without checking the i.d, holding it up to my ear.

“Hello?” I said, walking back to the bathroom.

“Good morning.”

My heart stopped in my chest at the sound of Harry’s voice.

It was a deep, gravelly tone coated in honey and I wondered if he was still curled up in his california king bed. I rolled my lips in, trying to hold back a squeal as I waited for him to speak again.

“How are you, honey?”

“I’m good.” I said softly, crossing my right arm over my chest as I glanced down at my cobalt blue painted toenails. I wiggled them, trying not to giggle like a schoolgirl. “Are you still in bed?

“Are you not?” His voice rose in pitch and I heard the rustling of sheets from the other end of the line. I failed at holding back a giggle that time, looking up towards the ceiling as I heard him mumble a curse under his breath. “It’s bloody eight in the morning and I know for a fact you drank your weight in tequila last night.”

“Don’t be a hypocrite.” I laughed, rolling my eyes at his offended huff. “You drank the same amount and you had yours straight. The only reason I feel even slightly hungover and queasy is because of the champagne we toasted with last night.”

“Y’had at least five watermelon margaritas in the time we spent together and one glass of champagne has done you in?” He let out a squeaky laugh and I felt like I could collapse on the bathroom floor then and there. “You’re a strange one, Beatrice.”

“I don’t know what it is in champagne that fucks with me, but I don’t like it.” I scrunched up my nose as I thought of the bubbly liquid. I was actually surprised that I wasn’t crouched in front of the toilet right now. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“A little tired. I couldn’t really sleep.” He sighed. “I kept dreaming about you last night.”

“Is that so?” I nibbled at the inside of my cheek. “What was your dream about?”

“We were cuddling.” He said. “We were on the beach, at sunset, snuggled up together on a blanket. I could smell your perfume and everything. I swore for a moment when I woke up that you were right here next to me. But instead, I woke up cuddling a pillow.”

“That sounds like a bummer.” I chuckled. “I hate to admit it after hearing about that Nicholas Sparks worthy dream of yours, but I also had a dream.”

“Oh?” He asked, a curious lilt to his voice. “What about?”

“Far less romantic things.” I felt my cheeks grow hot, nerves bubbling up in my stomach as I awaited his response.

“Beatrice Noelle Murphy,” He was mocking Claire’s tone from last night when she found me, his voice going up a few octaves as he feigned shock. “You had a naughty dream about me?”

“I knew I should have kept that to myself.” I groaned playfully, stomping my foot against the tile for good measure. “If it’s any consolation, darling, you were very good to me in my dream, until my alarm woke me up, that is.”

“I expect to hear all about this dream later tonight.” He hummed out. “So, why are you up so early? Should I be worried about any other men knocking at your door?”

“Not at all.” I snorted out a laugh. “I was actually getting ready to go out for a little walk. It’s something I do at home and before we came here, I found this place called Solstice Canyon that isn’t too far. I figured I would go and take a look.”

“I know that place.” He said. “It’s gorgeous.”

The conversation died for a moment, both of us waiting for the other to say it first.

“Harry?” I asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“Would you like to go with me?” I mumbled. “We can go for a walk and maybe get coffee after? And while we’re walking, maybe we can talk about whatever...this is?”

“I would really like that.” His voice was soft, back to that honey-tone that made my insides melt and my heart thump. “I can come pick you up.”

“Okay.” I said. “I’ll send you the address.”

“I’ll see you soon, then.” I could hear the smile in his tone, as if he were standing right in front of me. “I’ll text you when I’m on my way.”

“That’s perfect.” I took a deep breath. “Goodbye, Harry.”

“Goodbye, honey.”

He was making it so hard not to fall in love with him.

Harry’s POV

Beatrice Noelle Murphy was going to be the death of me.

When I pulled into the driveway of her airbnb, she was already standing outside. Her phone was pressed to her ear, a reusable water bottle in her hand as she paced back and forth. My mouth went dry when I started to pay attention to her outfit. She was wearing black leggings, a tight black tank top, and a pair of black sneakers to tie it all together. The stretchy material of her leggings hugged her curves in a way that would put regular pants to shame. I adjusted in my seat, clearing my throat as she looked up at me with that gorgeous smile.

“Fucks sake,” I groaned, feeling all of the blood in my body rushing down to my cock. “I really don’t need this to happen to me right now.”

When I put the car in park, I took a deep breath as she finished her phone call.

I unbuckled my seatbelt, opening my door as she walked over.

“Hello,” I leaned down, kissing her cheek before pulling back. “You look amazing this morning.”

“Oh, this old thing.” She teased, glancing down at her outfit before looking back up at me. “Look at you, H. You don’t even look like you have a hangover.”

“The magic of under eye cream.” I chuckled. “Shall we head on?”

“Yeah.”

I pressed my hand to the small of her back, guiding her to the passenger seat of my car.

Like a true gentleman, I opened the door for her.

Like a true guy, I stared at her ass while she climbed in.

When I walked back around to the driver’s seat, I cursed at myself under my breath for being such an asshole. She was a sweet girl and she deserved better than me ogling her five seconds into our walking date...if that’s what this was. I pressed the start engine button as Beatrice buckled in, sitting her water bottle in the cup holder with a soft giggle.

“What?” I glanced over at her before putting the car in reverse.

“I’ve just…” She started, struggling to find the words. “I’ve always wanted to ride in a Tesla because they’re so cool. And they’re environmentally conscious too, which is so awesome.”

“You’re adorable.” I chuckled, glancing at my rear-view camera to check for oncoming traffic. I pulled out on the street before turning my head towards her with an amused grin. “Maybe you can give it a test drive before you go home?”

“I would love that.” She nodded. “So, do you know where the park is?”

“Yeah, I’ve been a few times before.” I nodded. “There’s a gorgeous waterfall at the top and everything.”

“I saw that online.” She hummed out. “I figured I would go by myself this morning and then later on I’ll take everyone else so we can go for a dip. They’re all still passed out.”

“Smart idea.” I laughed. “When I left the house this morning, Michael and Gemma were passed out on the couch.”

“Ah, to live the life of luxury.” Beatrice sighed, giggling right after. “I’m really glad that we’re doing this.”

“Me too.” I glanced at her, offering her a soft smile before I held my hand out. She wasted no time lacing our fingers together, settling our hands on her thigh as I continued to drive. “As a guest in the Tesla, you have complete control over the radio. I have Spotify or apple music, use whatever you want. The code for my phone is 020194.”

“Your birthday, how original.” She chuckled, taking my phone.

“How did you know that was my birthday?” I smirked, glancing over at her.

“Fuck.” Her cheeks turned pink again and she cleared her throat. “Shut up.”

“Might as well put on One Direction and prove how big of a fan you are.” I mumbled, flipping my turn signal on as she groaned. “I mean it, I would love to see you lose your mind.”

“Not today,” She mumbled. “I have songs in mind.”

I spent the drive listening to her playlist with inquisitive ears.

Music was important to Beatrice, a small fact she’d shared about herself the night before. If she was playing songs for me to hear, I wanted to take them all in. The playlist was a good mix between Indie and Pop, a playlist that she named Iced Coffee because it was what helped her wake up in the morning. I made a mental note for every thing she said as she spoke, wanting to treasure every moment we had together. At every stoplight, she squeezed my fingers gently and I would smile over at her, resisting the urge to kiss her.

At the last stoplight, she kissed me. I didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the drive, not even when I parked and walked around to open her door for her again. She blushed, ducking her head down as I kissed her forehead softly. I wasn’t usually so affectionate in the beginning of a relationship, but Beatrice was different. The physical pull I felt towards her was almost impossible to ignore.

“Okay,” I said as we approached the start of the path. “This way is like, two miles, I think. If we go that way, it’s about five or six miles with a lot of hills and stuff. Which way do you prefer?”

“Two miles.” She said. “I don’t want to tire you out if you’ve got a show tonight.”

“How thoughtful of you, honey. I like that.” When she laced our fingers together again, my heart skipped a beat in my chest. It was a small gesture, but it meant a lot to me. She wasn’t afraid to be seen with me like most girls were. “Let’s get our hike on, yeah?”

There was nothing but the sound of our feet crunching against twigs and scattered gravel for a while. I took her water bottle from her hand, holding it in my own as we walked up the small path towards the woods. The birds were chirping and the morning air was a little chilly as the wind rustled the trees around us. There wasn’t anyone else on the path, just Beatrice and myself.

“This place is gorgeous.” She said softly. “Do you go walking a lot?”

“I do.” I nodded. “I usually go running with my friend Jeff, you met him last night.”

“Kind of.” She giggled. “I think I met everyone, but I really only talked to you.”

“If I remember correctly, that’s all my fault.” I laughed my cheeks heating up as she squeezed my fingers. “I wasn’t exactly keen on sharing you with anyone else last night.”

“I didn’t mind it.” She bumped her shoulder against my bicep. “I don’t know if it was just me, but last night felt….magical.”

“I felt it too.” I glanced over at her, licking over my bottom lip. “I’ve...I’ve dated people. Like, I’m hesitant to say a lot, but I’ve been told I had a ho phase in 2015.”

“Oh, you did.” She teased, looking up at me. “I’ve seen the gifs, I know how you acted on stage, Styles.”

I rolled my eyes, laughing softly as she bumped her shoulder into my bicep.

“The point I’m trying to make is that I’ve never felt that way about anyone before. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you the entire time we were together. It felt wrong not touching you in some way or another, even if it was just my hand on your leg or your arm pressed against me. It was like I needed you to breathe.”

“I felt the same way.” She said. “And when I looked into your eyes, it was almost like I could hear exactly what you were thinking. You didn’t even have to say anything to me.”

“And that’s...that’s something, Beatrice.” I turned back to look at the path. “Does that scare you?”

“Yes.” She admitted. “Because I’ve never been in love, Harry. I’ve dated maybe...two people, I think. And I always chicken out because I just never feel that spark that you hear about in movies or read about in books. Then last night I met you and that changed, I felt it for the first time and it shocked me.”

“I’m scared, too.” I whispered. “Because I felt the same way and that means something big to me, you know? I’ve been all around the world and I’ve met thousands of people, but the moment I lay eyes on you it all changes? It’s just...monumental for me.”

“Harry,” She whispered. “What does this mean for us?”

“It means that I would gladly be your boyfriend right now if you asked.” I stopped in my tracks, looking at her in awe. Her cheeks were a soft pink, her freckles out as the California sun shone down on her like a spotlight. “It means that I want something with you, something serious.”

“Just like that?” The corners of her lips twitched, but she didn’t smile. “You want me?”

“I want you.” I nodded. “However I can have you.”

“Then I’m yours.” She shuffled forward. “But you’re going to have to be patient with me, Harry. I’ve never done this before and I don’t know how to...be a girlfriend.”

“It’s not very hard.” I hummed out, pursing my lips as I tilted my head to the side. “Feed me, water me three times a day, and tuck me in with a song at bedtime-”

“Oh my goodness,” Beatrice tossed her head back, letting out a loud laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m just trying to give you instructions, honey.” I pulled her close to me by our connected hands as she tilted her head forward. “Gonna teach you how to be a proper girlfriend, yeah?”

“You’re so British.” Her giggle faded as I moved closer to her lips.

When I finally pressed a kiss to her soft lips, everything changed.

I let go of her hand, pressing my palm against her cheek as I moved my mouth against hers. I felt my insides catch fire as she licked over my bottom lip. Her hands gripped my hoodie, pulling herself closer to me as her water bottle fell from my hand. I wrapped myself around her and for a brief second, I was worried about being caught kissing her. But as my tongue slipped over hers, my fears faded. My thoughts revolved around the soft noises she made when we kissed and the way her hands slipped up my back. She tasted like mint and she smelled like roses.

“Harry,” She pulled back, gasping softly as I kissed over her cheek and towards her jaw. “Hey, Harry. We’re in public, darling.”

“I don’t care.” I mumbled, pressing a soft kiss to the skin just below her ear. “I can’t stop kissing you.”

“The quicker we finish this hike, the quicker we get back to the car,” She said, clearing her throat. “That means we’ll get to make out in private, without a small, tourist family staring at us.”

My blood ran cold as I realized what she was saying.

I pulled back, looking to my left as the family watched us.

“Sorry.” I cleared my throat, leaning down to grab the bottle I dropped. “Let’s go.”

Beatrice burst into loud laughter as we passed the family, leaning against me as we stumbled along the path. My face grew hot as she patted my stomach softly, cooing up at me.

“It was nice for a minute, wasn’t it?” She said softly. “Thank you for kissing the breath right out of my lungs. It was a nice moment.”

“You’re welcome,” I turned my head, pecking her lips. “Let’s finish this hike, girlfriend. I’m in need of more kisses and I’m not wasting anymore time.”

Beatrice’s POV

When Harry and I made it to the top of the path, the view was stunning.

We sat at the edge of the pool, our feet in the water as we continued our talk from earlier. My friends were most definitely going to kill me for acquiring a boyfriend before noon, but I didn’t care. I was riding cloud nine as Harry kept me tucked under his arm. I learned about his family back at home in England as we sat, his voice full of excitement as he told me about his school friends and his Mum. He told me that he had a flight leaving on Tuesday to Heathrow and that he was planning to spend two weeks with his Mum in Manchester. I was excited that he was going to have time to spend with her after such a long tour, but part of me was sad that we would have to part at some point. I didn’t say anything, smiling as he talked about the intense games that he would play with his Mum and Gemma at home.

“What about your family?” He asked, brushing his hand over my arm. “Do they all still live in Virginia?”

“Yeah.” I said slowly, clearing my throat. “We don’t have...the best relationship. It’s not awful, but it’s not exactly normal.”

“Do you have any siblings?” He sounded completely unfazed by my statement.

“Yeah, brothers.” I mumbled, my finger dragging over the spot on my arm where my honeybee was tattooed. “If I tell you something, promise you won’t apologize or freak out.”

“Beatrice, you can tell me anything.” His brows pulled together as I looked up at him, giving him a soft smile.

“The honeybee that I have on my arm,” I started. “That’s in honor of my brother, kind of. He used to call me honeybee all the time because of my name, you know? My mom would call me honey and he picked up on that, but then he started adding the bee on later. Beatrice is kind of hard for a five year old to say.”

“I can imagine.” Harry chuckled. “Why shouldn’t I apologize?”

“Because he’s dead.” I cleared my throat, looking back to the waterfall as I took a deep breath. I wasn’t sad or upset as I spoke. I had told the story so many times, it was almost like it belonged to someone else. “We don’t have to go into the details if it makes you uncomfortable. I know not everyone is as cavalier about death and loss as I am.”

“I want to know what happened.” He said softly. “If you want to share, I’m here to listen.”

“We knew that he was going to die because he was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy when he was about five or six. Most kids don’t live that long with the disease, so we always knew. The way that I used to explain it as a kid was ‘it’s a disease that melts your muscles’ and while that’s not far off, it’s not exactly accurate. It’s a disease that deteriorates your muscles and it started at his feet and then worked its way up. And your heart is a muscle, so naturally, that was the last thing to go.” I turned back to look at Harry, his mouth shut and his brows knitted together in the center. “How are you hanging over there?”

“I’m...taking it all in.” He said slowly. “I’m also trying really hard not to apologize to you right now.”

“It’s a reflex for some people.” I chuckled, squeezing his fingers. “I know that hearing that is a lot to deal with for a first date, but it’s better that you know now.”

“I call you honeybee.” He said softly. “Does that bother you?”

“Not at all.” I shook my head. “You just...naturally started calling me that. I used to hate when my Mom or family would try to call me that because it was his name for me, but I like hearing it from you. It almost felt like a sign in some way, like...he was approving of it somehow. I know that sounds insane, but I have a gut feeling that you two would get along swimmingly.”

“It doesn’t sound insane.” He pulled me tighter against his side. “And you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” I nodded. “I’ve been telling that story to people for twelve years and if I’m being honest, it’s kind of just...an extremely distant memory. It’s sad and you probably think I’m heartless for being so casual about it, but I spent a lot of time blocking out memories with him as a coping mechanism and now I’m just...well, whatever this is.”

“That is sad.” He whispered. “If you ever want to talk to me about him or anything, I’m here for you.”

“Thank you.” I let out a heavy sigh. “So, now that we’ve had that talk, I have another brother named Jack. He’s younger than me and quite possibly the funniest human being I’ve ever met. He’s my first drunk call when I’m out because he’s the first person I want to share things with after they happen.”

“Is that who you were on the phone with earlier?” He asked. “When I pulled up?”

“Yes.” I nodded. “He was bugging me about being in California. He’s never been and he’s always wanted to see Los Angeles.”

“Well, next time you want to visit, let me know.” He said. “You can stay with me instead of renting out an airbnb.”

“If I let Jack anywhere near you, he’s going to want to talk music.” I snorted out a laugh. “He has FL Studio and he’s really into making beats which is something I don’t understand, but he loves to death. He’s really into producing and stuff.”

“I wouldn’t mind talking music with him.” Harry chuckled. “I would love to meet him someday.”

We decided to make our way back after talking a little more about my dysfunctional family. We were nearly to the car when I remembered that tonight was Harry’s last show on his first solo tour. When I looked over at him, he was deep in thought. His brows were knitted together and he was staring at the ground as we walked.

“So, are you excited for tonight?” I asked.

“Hmm?” He asked.

“Tonight,” I said softly. “I was just asking if you were excited?”

“I am.” He gave me a half smile. “Lots of people are coming though. I know Hannah, the girl from last night will be there. Kendall will probably be there, Niall is definitely coming, Louis and Liam are still a little on the fence about it so I don’t know if they’ll be there.”

“Holy shit,” I breathed out. “Niall Horan.”

“Oi,” He pouted, stopping in his tracks. “I’ll be the one on stage, honey.”

“I know.” I laughed at his childish pout. “It’s just...Niall was kind of my favorite member of the band, darling.”

“What?” He screeched out, his eyebrows shooting up. “Bloody Niall?”

“He was cute!” I exclaimed, trying not to laugh at his distress. “You can’t deny the Irish charm, Harry!”

“I can, Beatrice!” He groaned. “I’m British.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed.” I let out a laugh as Harry pulled me closer to him. “Don’t be so pouty about it, darling.”

“I’m jealous.” He said softly, squeezing my fingers.

“Is that so?” I asked, my breath catching in my throat as he rubbed the tip of his nose over mine gently. “What are you going to do about that?”

“There’s my naughty girl.” He hummed out. “When we get to the car, maybe you’ll find out.”

My feet moved faster than they ever had before.

When we made it to the car, Harry opened the door, ushering me inside the back seat with gentle hands. He climbed in after me, shutting the door before locking it behind us. I wasted no time straddling his lap, pressing my lips to his in a heated kiss. Something in me took over my actions, any prior fears about being sexual with someone else long gone. I hadn’t done much in lieu of sexual encounters with other people, but I had done a few things. Getting fingered outside of a bar after Valentine’s day before delivering a stellar blowjob was one of those things, but I really had the alcohol to thank for diminishing my fears that night.

Harry’s hands landed on my bum, his fingers digging into the flesh there as I dug my fingers into the soft strands of hair at the back of his head. I tugged softly, moaning as my hips rolled forward against Harry’s. This was new for me and though it was a little nerve wracking, I wasn’t worried. My body knew what it was doing, moving against Harry with soft little rolls of my hips. He seemed to be enjoying it, if the bulge in his pants had anything to say about it. I whimpered when he pulled back, gently tugging at my lower lip with his teeth when he did. His lips weren’t gone for long, his tongue joining in on the fun when he pressed them back to mine. My toes felt numb and my body felt like it was on fire from just his kiss.

“Harry?” I asked, tilting my head back as I tried to catch my breath. He kissed down the column of my throat greedily, suckling at the sensitive parts as I grinded harder against him. “I need more.”

“What do you need from me?” He whispered in my ear, his voice husky and raspy. “Tell me what you want.”

“Fingers.” I moaned when he pushed my jacket off of my shoulders, leaning into kiss at my collarbones. “I need your fingers.”

“Dirty girl.” He cooed, sliding his palm from my side to my front. I clenched my eyes shut when he started to rub his fingers over my core through my leggings. “You need them like this?”

“No.” I cried out. “I want them in me.”

“Fuck,” He gasped, lifting his hand to squeeze gently at my breast as the other hand tilted my chin down. He kissed me fervently, pulling back as he rested his forehead against mine. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I nodded. “I’m so sure.”

“Have you…” He stopped. “Is this something you’ve done before?”

“Are you asking me if I’ve been fingered?” I tried to fight off my smirk, rolling my lips in as he nodded. “I have, actually. It wasn’t the best experience of my life and I didn’t cum, but I have a feeling that you know what to do with your hands.”

“Fuck me.” He groaned, “just...tell me exactly what you need and I’ll make it happen for you. I’m gonna make sure you cum on my fingers, honey.”

I nodded, licking over my bottom lip as he awaited instruction.

“You can put your hand down my pants.” I said softly. “If you want to, that is.”

“I really, really want to.”

He glanced between us as he trailed his fingertips down my stomach to the band of my leggings. He gripped the fabric between his fingers, letting it pop back against my skin as I groaned out. He chuckled softly, kissing my chin before he dipped his fingers past the waist. I held my breath, waiting for him to touch my clit, but he didn’t. Instead, his fingers dipped past my clit, rubbing over my lips slowly as he used his free hand to guide my eyes to his. His eyes were a darker shade of green, one that matched the shade that I saw last night after I was knocked over.

“You’re fucking soaked, Beatrice.” He let out a shaky breath. “Who did this to you?”

“Maybe it was Niall.”

Harry looked up at me, his stare going blank as he stopped the movement of his fingers.

I tried not to break composure, watching him unravel before my very eyes. I’d heard Woman before, I knew how jealous he could get and what it did to him. I wanted that Harry right now.

“What did you just say to me?” He asked softly, tilting his head to the side.

“I said, maybe it was Niall.” I hummed out, moving my hips. He stopped them, gripping my side tight with his free hand. “We were talking about him earlier, weren’t we? Maybe that’s why I’m so wet.”

“Beatrice.” His voice nearly came out in a growl, his nails digging into my plush sides. “You’re playing a dangerous game, angel.”

“What game is that?” I inquired, a smug smirk painting over my lips.

In a flurry of movements, I ended up on my back beneath Harry.

He pulled my leggings over my thighs, pressing his fingers flat against my entrance as he knelt to the ground beside the car seat. Tesla’s had a lot of legroom to offer and I was suddenly a major fan of that. Harry pressed a quick kiss to my lips as he dipped his pointer finger into me. I let out a shaky breath when he curled up, massaging that spot inside of me gently.

“Are you okay with this?” Soft Harry was back, but I assured him with a quick nod. “Tell me if it’s too much, okay?”

“I will.” I mumbled. “I quite liked ‘Angry Harry’ from before.”

“Oh, he hasn’t gone anywhere.” He let out a dark chuckle, pulling his pointer finger out before sliding it back in. This time, it was accompanied by his middle finger. His thumb ghosted over my clit and I let out a soft string of curses as he grinned. “Not so smug now, are you?”

“That feels really good.” I whimpered, lifting my hips up. “Harry-”

“So now it’s me that’s made you this way, eh?” He brushed his nose over mine, his breath washing over my face as he started to move his fingers faster. “I thought Niall made you this wet, angel?”

“You.” I whined, shaking my head. “Just you, Harry.”

“That’s my girl.” He cooed, pressing the pad of his thumb to my clit. He moved it in soft circles as his fingers worked in and out of me. “S’that good?”

“Move your thumb the other way.” I let my eyes slip shut, a small ball of pleasure accumulating in my lower belly, tightening with each stroke of his thumb and thrust of his fingers. “Just like that, H. Fuck.”

“You’re so tight.” He let his lips brush over mine. “So tight and wet, just for me.”

“Yes.” I whispered. “Just for you.”

“You’re so beautiful like this.” He mumbled. “The little wrinkle between your brow as you clench down on my fingers. You’re so desperate to cum, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” I repeated. “Yes, please.”

“Are you close?” He hummed out. “Are you going to cum on my fingers for me, angel?”

I nodded again, a low whine in my throat as my hips and thighs tensed up.

I was right there on the edge, ready to explode underneath him.

“Cum for me.” He stamped a quick kiss to my lips. “Cum on my fingers, Beatrice.”

I bit my lower lip, reaching out with my left hand to grip Harry’s hoodie as he worked me through my orgasm. My whole body tensed up before falling lax against his back seat. That little whine that was caught in my throat escaped, a few moans following after as Harry really worked me though with his fingers. I opened my eyes slowly when he pulled them out, lifting them up to his lip before he rested them on his tongue. I cursed as he licked my arousal from his digits, grinning when he was finally done savoring my taste.

“Taste like berries.” He leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. “Do you taste it?”

I whimpered, nodding as he lifted his head up.

“That was amazing.” I said softly, sitting up before I adjusted the waistband of my leggings over my stomach. “You are amazing.”

“Hm, I told you I was the jealous kind.” He giggled, kissing me softly as I brushed my fingers through his hair.

“I’m glad that added to the moment.” I said, my cheeks hot under his gaze. “It was a shot in the dark, but fuck are you hot when you’re jealous.”

“Normally, it would bother me,” He said. “But something about you doing made it feel fun and exciting.”

“Good.” I kissed his forehead. “Trade spots with me.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Plant your ass on the seat, Styles.” I patted the empty space next to me, watching as he hesitantly climbed up. “Are you okay with this?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “Only if you are.”

“I’m going to warn you,” I placed my palms on his thighs. “I’ve only given one blowjob and I was drunk. So I’m going to need a lot of feedback here.”

“Noted.” He nodded, glancing down at my hands as they slid up to the waistband of his athletic shorts. “This is a good start.”

“Thanks.” I giggled, rolling my eyes at him. He lifted his hips as I pulled his shorts past his bum and down to his thighs. I left them just above his knees, my eyes immediately zeroing in on his cock. “Fucking hell, it’s beautiful.”

“Beatrice.” Harry whispered, a pained lilt to his tone. “You’re killing me.”

“I’m admiring it.” I mumbled, brushing my fingers over the veiny shaft. I took a deep breath before I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “So beautiful.”

I brushed my thumb under the head, a small stream of pre-cum drizzling out from the slit. I had heard on the internet that the head of a man’s cock often matched the color of his lips. Whoever made that observation was a genius. The tip of Harry’s cock was raspberry red, coated in a light glaze of pre-cum.

I had never wanted to suck a man off so badly before, my tongue practically aching at the phantom weight. I leaned down, taking a deep breath as I guided his cock up. The tip pointed towards his stomach as I leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to the underside of its head. Harry hissed in a sharp breath, shifting beneath me as I looked up at him.

“I’m not going to last long.” He whimpered. “I don’t think I can do it.”

“S’alright.” I whispered. “Just tell me when you’re close and I’ll swallow.”

“Fuck.”

I pressed a few kisses against the veiny skin, my lips closed as I pecked over it gently. When I had made my way all the way up to the top, I started back down again. This time, I incorporated open mouth kisses, trailing my tongue over the veins every few seconds or so to keep him on his toes. When I made it to the base, I pushed his hoodie up, trailing my lips up to his ferns as I felt his hands fall on my shoulders.

After I felt his fingers digging into my shoulder blades, I lifted my hand, pulling at my hair elastic. My hair fell around my shoulder and face like a curtain. Harry didn’t waste a lot of time, threading the fingers of his left hand through the strands at the nape of my neck while his right fingers brushed my hair back from my face.

“You’re stunning.” He whimpered, causing me to glance up at him as I flattened my tongue. I slowly licked up the underside of his shaft from the base to the tip. I pressed a kiss to the tip, glancing up at him. “Just like that, angel. You’re doing so well.”

It was hard trying not to smile as I wrapped my lips around the head of his cock.

I brushed my tongue over the spongy head before suckling softly and pulling off. I pressed a quick kiss to the top before I repeated the previous move. It wasn’t long before I was lowering my mouth, pulling back up as I tried to master sucking without teeth. Harry didn’t seem to mind that I wasn’t looking at him while I tried to take care of him. I could tell that he felt good by the string of curses falling from his mouth every time I took my mouth off of him.

It was kind of hot, feeling his fingers slowly guiding me back towards his cock as he tried to refrain from bucking his hips up. My fingers found purchase in his thighs, trying to steady myself as I pushed farther than I had before. Harry was big in my mouth, his cock heavy on my tongue and his tip poking against the back of my tongue. Now, he was pressing against the back of my throat.

“I’m gonna cum.” His voice was higher in pitch, a desperate whine pulling from his throat as I pulled back up and suckled on the head of his cock. I took a few deep breaths, glancing up to see his eyes glued to my face. He was watching my every move. “I’m so close, Beatrice.”

“What do you need me to do?” I asked, replacing my mouth with soft strokes of my hand while I looked up at him. “Tell me what to do, darling.”

“Don’t have to take me all the way again, that was…” He let out a breathy chuckle, brushing his thumb over the apple of my cheek. “Just put your lips around the head like you were doing. Suck on me while you’re looking up at me.”

“Okay.” I smiled softly, lowering my mouth to his cock again.

I wrapped my lips around the bulbous and leaking head of his cock, sucking softly like I had done moments before. I kept stroking his shaft with my hand, keeping my eyes on his as I did so. He took in a few shallow breaths, his brows knitting together and his lips parting. His eyes started to flutter as he tightened his fingers in my hair. When his hips lifted just a little off the seat, I knew that was it for him. Seconds later, I felt a few spurts of warm cum coating my tongue. I didn’t think too hard on it, swallowing it down as I stroked him through his orgasm.

“Beatrice,” He whimpered, dropping his hands to my arms with a grabby motion as I shifted. “Come up.”

I obliged, climbing into his lap as our lips collided.

He wrapped me in his arms, slipping his tongue over mine as I whimpered.

When he pulled back from me, he had a blissed out smile on his lips and wide eyes.

“You’ve...you’ve only given one other blow job besides that?” He asked, his chest heaving just a little as I nodded. “Your mouth is a daydream.”

“Harry.” I groaned, swatting his shoulder.

“I mean it.” He leaned forward for a quick peck, brushing my hair over my shoulders. “That was amazing, Beatrice. I really loved it.”

“I’m glad.” I brushed my nose over his.

“Can I ask you something?” He said softly, reaching up to scratch the side of his nose. “I don’t want to sound like a dick for asking, but I kind of have a feeling and I just...it doesn’t matter one way or the other, I just want to know.”

“Ask away.” I said. “You can always talk to me too, you know? It’s a two-way street.”

“I appreciate that more than you know.” He hummed out. “But I’m just curious about...are you a virgin?”

“Yeah.” I nodded without hesitation. “It’s not something I try to hide from people, so I don’t mind sharing that with you.”

“Is that just a personal choice you’ve made for yourself?” He asked. “Because I don’t want to push you or make you feel like you have to do things like that with me if you’re not ready. I can wait.”

“If I’m going to be honest with you,” I said softly. “I’ve not had sex yet because there’s no one that’s really tried to have sex with me. I haven’t been holding out for any one reason.”

“No one has ever tried to have sex with you?” He asked, his brows shooting up to his hairline. “I find that so hard to believe.”

“Harry,” I laughed, tossing my head back. “Stop it.”

“I mean it.” He exclaimed, pressing his hands to my hips. “When I pulled into the driveway this morning and saw you standing there, I got hard just like that.”

“No!” I exclaimed, pressing my hands to his chest with a breathless laugh. “You didn’t?”

“I did.” He nodded. “I was very upset with myself for it, honestly. Felt like a proper dick.”

“I’m going to take a shot every time you say the word proper.” I reached up, tapping the pad of my finger against his nose. “And I really love this moment we’re having, but I desperately need coffee or a nap….or both.”

“You can have both?” He asked. “You can have a coffee and then go to bed?”

“Yeah.” I shrugged. “I drink a lot of coffee in a day, the first cup is like a small kick starter, but cups three through five are what really rev me up.”

“Oh my,” Harry shook his head. “I’m going to have to keep an eye on you.”

“Absolutely.” I nodded.

Harry’s POV

Beatrice and I stopped at Starbucks on the way back to her airbnb.

On the way there, it was decided that I was staying to take a nap with her. She texted Gemma from my phone, asking if she could bring an outfit to the airbnb with one of my cars so we could all fit in two vehicles on the way to brunch. When we made it back to her airbnb, everyone was still sleeping soundly. Claire was curled up on the couch with Chloe just below her. Matt was tucked into Chloe’s side and Jackson and Tara were nowhere to be seen.

When we walked in, I wasn’t surprised that Beatrice had chosen this as the airbnb they stayed in. It was extremely cute, little vintage touches splashed in here and there. There was a small acoustic guitar tucked in the corner of the living room and a light blue record player with a record collection on a console table in front of the window by the front door. Beatrice guided me past the kitchen and down the hall towards her room in the house. She explained that she got the room with an ensuite bathroom that I could use it while she snuck off to Claire’s.

Showering together was slightly different than sharing a steamy moment in the back of my car. There was nothing to hide behind and I could tell the thought of that made her uncomfortable. I gladly accepted her offer and over-sized band shirt and soft sweatpants before going into the restroom. There were a few products scattered around on the small sink that made me smile. We shared the same face wash, which was a good thing for my skin. During my shower, I started to get lost in my own head. Beatrice was at the forefront of my mind, her face plastered on the big screen as I replayed our moment by the waterfall.

I could tell there was so much more to her family problems than just the loss of her brother, but I didn’t want to push. She had already shared so much with me today and I knew that we would have plenty of time to share more in the future if she wanted. I could tell that she was already back in the bedroom connected to her bathroom as I stepped out of the shower and I wasted no time slipping into the clothes she lent me. The sweatpants were a little short, but they fit me perfectly around the waist and legs. The shirt she lent me was soft and it smelled like her, her perfume permanently weaved through the fabric.

“Man does it feel good to wash away a hangover.” I let out a heavy sigh as I walked out.

It was slightly darker in the room, the curtains pulled shut and the door closed. Beatrice looked over her shoulder at me, smiling brightly as I walked forward. I placed my hands on her hips, giving them a soft squeeze before I stole a few kisses from her.

“Have you picked a side?” I asked, nuzzling my nose against the shell of her ear.

“No.” She said softly, resting her hands on my forearms. “Which side do you want?”

“The right.” I said. “I like sleeping closest to the door.”

“I like sleeping away from it. Look at us, like peanut butter and jelly.” She giggled. “It’s about nine forty-five and we aren’t leaving for brunch until twelve-thirty. Gemma and I made reservations for a small cafe and they’ve closed their back patio off for us.”

“That was nice of them.” I squeezed Beatrice with a soft hum before I let go of her. I climbed over the foot of the bed, tucking my legs under the covers. She smiled at me before tucking herself in “Do you like to cuddle?”

“I always sleep on my front with my leg and arm tossed over a pillow.” She chuckled. “I have a body pillow at home that I snuggle with, but I’ve never cuddled with an actual person....besides Claire, at least.”

“Well, I love to cuddle.” I tapped my tummy with my palm, smiling as she shuffled closer to me. She rested her head on my shoulder, but that was all. “Don’t be shy, honey. I don’t bite...well not when I’m cuddling, at least.”

“You have jokes, Styles.” She mumbled, hooking her leg over mine as she rested her arm against my stomach. I kissed the top of her head, smiling as she let out a happy sigh. “You smell good.”

“I smell like you.” I tried not to laugh, afraid to jostle her. “I used all of your stuff.”

“Good.” She said. “You’re saving the planet at least. I like no waste, vegan products that come in bottles made of recycled material.”

“Look at you,” I hummed out, rubbing my palm over her back as she tucked her arm under my back. “Responsible and ethical. Gemma will love that.”

“Harry?” She sounded far off, her voice fading with each word. “M’falling asleep.”

“Go on then.” I whispered. “I’m right behind you.”

I didn’t get a response, my heart fluttering in my chest.

The warmth of her body had me slowly falling asleep, my eyes fluttering shut as she gripped onto my borrowed shirt with her fingers.

Falling in love with Beatrice was the easiest thing to do.

Claire’s POV

When I woke up, I felt like death.

My mouth was dry and my eyes felt glued together with the makeup left on. I refused to take it off last night, despite Bea and Tara’s arguments and attempts to wipe it off themselves. Chloe and I were definitely the lightweights out of the group, a few drinks knocked back and we were two sheets to the wind. I sat up, brushing my hand over my face as I groaned loudly. If I remembered correctly, Chloe was just beneath me on the floor, sleeping on a pallet of blankets and couch cushions. That girl could sleep anywhere if she wanted.

I glanced down to see Matt with her, his head tucked under her chin and his body wrapped around her like a koala. I smiled even though it hurt to see them so happy together. Chloe and Matt were the classic definition of highschool sweethearts. They had been together through everything and I was often envious of the love they shared. There was one other couple in our friend group, but they were different.

I carefully stepped over Matt and Chloe, walking towards the master bedroom of our airbnb. Before I made it there, I stopped at the door next to mine. I wondered how my best friend was doing after last night. She, much like every other girl I knew, always had a crush on Harry Styles. Last night, she lived out the ultimate dream of every fangirl. I twisted the doorknob, carefully sliding in before I shut the door behind me.

Before I even stepped into the room, I realized that she wasn’t alone. She was curled into Harry’s side, her head on his chest and his lips pressed into her forehead. My heart ached at the sight, the soft look on Bea’s face an expression I hadn’t seen on her in a while. As I was slowly retreating backwards, Harry spoke.

“I see you over there.” His morning voice was deep and my eyes widened in shock. “I’m sorry I stole your best friend this morning.”

“Don’t be.” I said softly. “I didn’t even notice.”

“What time is it?” He lifted his head, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand.

“Um, eleven, I think.” I rolled my lips in, glancing around the room as he nodded. I felt like I was invading an extremely private moment “You guys can sleep a little longer. I just thought I would pop in to check on her.”

“I can make myself scarce if you want to take over?” Harry chuckled, glancing over at Beatrice and then back at me. “I can start up some coffee for everyone.”

“No, don’t do that.” I shook my head. “Beatrice is horrible when she’s been woken up by someone else. She’ll bite your head off.”

“I’m awake now.” She groaned, turning her head into Harry’s chest. “You’re so loud.”

“We’re not that loud.” I snorted out a laugh. “I’m going to shower and get ready for brunch.”

“We’re leaving at twelve.” Beatrice sat up, a grumpy pout on her lips. “How do you feel?”

“I’m okay.” Beatrice patted the end of her bed and I glanced back at Harry before slowly moving forward. I sat on the edge, the foot of the wrought iron bed-frame pressing into my back.

“I made you a birthday hangover kit.” Bea said softly. “It’s on your bed.”

“Thank you, Bea.” I said. “But I’m actually not feeling that bad.”

“I think In N Out at three in the morning might have helped.” She giggled, leaning back into Harry as he rubbed his hand over her back. “Did you have fun, birthday girl.”

“Loads.” I smiled. “But I’m excited for brunch today. Harry, your sister is so nice!”

“I think you met the wrong sister,” He hummed out, shaking his head. “My sister is a pest.”

“Your sister is a saint.” I gasped. “I’m excited for tonight, as well.”

“You know?” Beatrice asked. “Did I tell you last night?”

“No, but Harry asked if it was okay.” I shrugged. “I told him that I’ve been dying to see him live, so we’re going, per the birthday girl’s wishes.”

Beatrice wouldn’t willingly go to a concert on my birthday weekend if I didn’t convince her that I wanted to go just as bad. She stared me down, trying to gauge whether or not I was telling the truth to her. I rolled my eyes, pushing her shoulder before I stood up from the foot of her bed.

“It was nice talking to you losers, but I need to go take a very long shower to wash away the hangover that is still lingering.” I held up a peace sign. “I’ll see you at twelve.”

“You’ll see me before twelve, I need help picking what to wear.” Beatrice called out as I shut the door behind me.

It made me happy to see her so comfortable with a man.

As I walked into the master bedroom, I rolled my eyes at the sight of Tara and Jackson curled up on my bed.

Friends.

Bea’s POV

When Claire walked out, I turned back to smile at Harry.

He’d slipped his hand up my shirt, brushing his fingers over my back while I talked to Claire. It was comforting, the feeling of him reassuring me when he knew I was in distress. I was worried that Claire would be mad at me for bringing Harry back. He had already taken over an entire day of our vacation. He must have felt the relieved sigh I let out when Claire told me she was excited for today’s activities. I wanted this vacation to be nothing short of perfect.

“Did you have a good nap?” I asked, leaning back into his arms as he nodded. “Good, you deserved some sleep.”

“You were very sweet to me in my sleep.” He pressed a few soft kiss against my temple. “No kicking or pushing, just sweet cuddles and a tiny bit of drool.”

“I do not drool.” I turned my head, glaring at him. “Take that back.”

“Oh, you do.” He giggled, shaking his head. “I won’t take back the truth.”

“That’s awful.” I groaned, pressing my hands to my face. “We’re spooning from now on.”

“I don’t mind that at all.” He hummed out, kissing at the skin of my neck now. “Being pressed against you while I sleep sounds like a great plan.”

“Oh, yeah?” I giggled, turning my body around before I straddled him. “Well, you’re not the only one who’s awake, are you?”

I glanced between our bodies, my cheeks growing warm as I felt Harry’s cock pressing into my core. I tried not to move, looking back up at him with a smug smile. He gulped, sliding both hands up my shirt as he leaned forward to press our lips together. I smiled into the kiss, pressing my hands to his shoulders as he bucked his hips up. A soft whine pulled from my throat as he did, a shockwave of pleasure shooting from head to toe. Harry broke the kiss, ducking his head down to continue his earlier path of kisses on my neck.

“Harry.” I tilted my head back, letting out a soft sigh as he moved one hand around to my front. He let his fingers trail up, sliding over my breast before he pinched my nipple. “Oh.”

“S’that good?” He breathed in my ear, tugging at the lobe as his finger continued to tug gently at my nipple. I nodded, feeling Harry smile against my neck. “Want it to feel better?”

“Yes.” I nodded, gulping around the lump in my throat. I was so turned on by Harry, the tension in the room so thick I could feel it. “Please.”

“Lift your arms up.” He whispered, removing his hands from my skin. I groaned at the loss of contact, but I did as I was told. “Good girl.”

He pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it to the end of the bed.

Harry’s eyes trailed over my skin, the look on his face almost unreadable. I felt nervous, being so exposed in front of Harry so early. But when he leaned forward to press a few scattered kisses over my collarbone, I didn’t feel so afraid. He kissed a trail down towards my right breast, kissing around my nipple as I rested my hands on his shoulders.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered. “Can I?”

His breath ghosted my nipple and I knew what he was asking.

“Please.” I whispered.

When his tongue licked over my nipple, I nearly lost it. Seconds later, his lip was wrapped around my nipple and my body was moving on its own. I rolled over his hard cock, whining as he suckled softly on the hardening bud of my nipple.

“Hey, Bea,” The door to my room opened before I could process what was happening. “Can I borrow- holy fuck!”

“Jackson!” I cried out, my whole body flushing cold as I realized what was happening. “Get out!”

“Sorry!” He called back, bumping into the doorway as Harry lifted the blankets around my body. He let me bury my face into his neck as Jackson fumbled. “I didn’t see anything.”

“Oh my god.” I groaned, gripping at Harry’s t-shirt. “That was mortifying.”

“Don’t be upset.” He said softly. “He didn’t see anything.”

“I can’t believe he caught us doing that.” I lifted my head, pouting my lip out. “I can’t even imagine if we were doing more.”

“It would be okay,” Harry smiled, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair from my face. “It’s a natural thing.”

“Why are you so cute?” I sighed out. “You’re fucking precious, Harry.”

“I love when you call me that.” He said softly. “Everyone always calls me H because I ask them to, but I like when you call me Harry.”

“I’ll keep doing it then.” I smiled. “Well, on that note, I’m not feeling so sexy anymore. I think I should get up and start getting ready.”

“You are still very sexy.” He kissed my lips. “And I hope that you enjoyed what was happening before we were so rudely interrupted.”

“I definitely was.” I whispered. “I wouldn’t mind a repeat of that some other time.”

“It’s a date.” Harry laughed, wrapping his arms around me.

We climbed out of bed, making ourselves decent before we decided to go to the kitchen for coffee. I hoped that someone had started brewing the coffee that I prepped the day before. When I opened the bedroom door, Harry right behind me, I smelled it down the hall. Harry pressed his hand to my hip as we shuffled into the kitchen. Jackson’s face went red when he saw us and Tara watched Harry with a smirk as we walked towards the cupboard.

“Good morning everyone.” I said, reaching for two mugs.

“Where’s the coffee creamer?” Harry asked softly.

“You drink your coffee black.” I said, my brows furrowing as I started to pour the coffee.

“You don’t though.” He said. “Do you have some in the fridge?”

“I can get it-” Harry cut me off with a peck to my lips. He walked towards the fridge, opening it up as I turned back to look at everyone.

“Vanilla or White Chocolate Raspberry?”

“White Chocolate.” I said, narrowing my eyes at Tara and Jackson. “Don’t you two start.”

“We’re not doing anything!” Jackson exclaimed.

“You’re looking at me like I have three heads.” I groaned, putting the coffee pot back as Harry poured creamer in one of the mugs for me.

“No, I’m looking at you like I just saw you getting-”

“Lalalala.” I said, holding my hands over my ears. “We’re not talking about it.”

“I’m just glad you finally got laid, sister.” Jackson snorted out a laugh and I turned on my feet to glare at him. “It’s about damn time.”

“Jackson!” I exclaimed.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” He held a hand up. “I just wanted to make you do that thing with your face.”

“It is a cute expression.” Harry hummed out. “Are you calm enough to hold your mug or do I need to keep it.”

“I can take my mug.” I grumbled. “I don’t like the level of abuse in this house right now.”

“It’s all out of love, Bea.” Jackson chuckled. “Now that you’re done fucking, can I borrow your shampoo?”

“Jackson!”

Harry’s POV

The peanut gallery nearly had Beatrice permanently red.

It was adorable the first few times, but after that, I was starting to get annoyed for her. I could tell that she was a little embarrassed by their constant teasing, her body sinking with every comment made. There was an art to teasing your friends, and I felt like they were beating a dead horse. I kept my hand on her thigh the entire drive, squeezing it softly as she looked out the window. Every now and again she would join in on the conversation, but her voice wasn’t as confident and bubbly as it normally was. I also noticed that she’d started nibbling at her nails, her knee bouncing up and down nervously as she mentally spiraled, lost in her own head. I let out a heavy sigh, reaching for her hand with my own to keep her from biting at her nails. We pulled up to a stoplight and I turned my head towards her with a soft smile.

“Kiss?” I asked softly, puckering my lips out.

She leaned over the console, giving me a quick peck and a soft smile.

“Oh, god,” Tara groaned from the backseat. “They’re at it again.”

“Okay, that’s enough teasing.” Claire spoke up, a stern edge to her voice masked behind a thin veil of politeness. “The poor girl can only handle so much in a day, let’s not push it.” “We’re just having fun-”

“Well, it’s not fun for me.” Beatrice grumbled, sinking further in her seat.

“We’ll stop.” Jackson said. “I’d much rather tease Claire for trying to use a street lamp as a pole last night.”

“That was iconic, Jackson.” Claire said. “You wish you had my skills.”

Gemma and Michael were lucky enough to get an empty car, everyone piling into the Tesla when it was time to go. I secretly wished that I had given Gemma the Tesla so Bea and I could go off on our own. When we pulled into the restaurant, everyone piled out except for Beatrice, Claire, and I. I looked in the rearview mirror, catching Claire’s sympathetic look.

“Bea.” She turned towards her friend. “Why are they bothering you?”

“They’re not.” She mumbled, turning her head back towards Claire. “It’s just...I never tease them for stuff like this. And Tara might have come into my room this morning to talk with me about everything and it was just….she meant well, but it made me mad.”

“What did she say?” I asked, squeezing her fingers. “Was it about me?”

“It was about both of us.” She cleared her throat. “But this is brunch and we’re gonna have fun. It’s not that serious, I’m just a little nervous because we’re all stuck together and this will be my first time really talking to Gemma. I don’t want it to go bad.”

“It won’t.” Claire said. “And I’ll take care of the Tara thing.”

“Don’t, Claire-”

She cut Beatrice off.

“I’m taking care of the Tara thing.” She said sternly. “Everyone else does it all the time and you never get to let loose and have fun. So fuck ‘em, babe.”

“Thanks, Claire.” She smiled at her friend, a genuine Beatrice smile.

My heart felt a little lighter when Claire slipped out of the car to catch up with everyone.

“I’m sorry.” Beatrice mumbled. “I didn’t know everyone would be so….annoying about this whole thing.”

“It’s not your fault.” I whispered. “I think they’re just excited about the whole thing. Just listen to Claire and ignore them. You’ve got blessings from the birthday girl.” ‘

“She’s amazing, isn’t she.” Beatrice chuckled. “I love her.”

“I’m starting to as well.” I snorted out a laugh. “She’s most definitely my favorite.”

“Good.” She smiled. “I’m ready to go in if you are.”

“Let’s just take a few more minutes to ourselves.” I said. “I want to make sure we go in with positive attitudes.”

I told Beatrice at least twenty jokes, her hand pressed to her stomach when I opened her car door for her. There weren’t too many people out and about today, but there were a few lingering gazes as we walked hand in hand to the cafe. She didn’t seem fazed by the staring, but I was a little worried that word would spread. The last thing I wanted was to involve Beatrice and her friends in a swarm of paparazzi and fans. When we made it to the back patio, Claire saved two seats next to her at the end of the table. We sat down right across from Gemma and Michael who were lost in their own little world.

“Good morning, sister.” I nudged her foot under the table. “Michael.”

“Good morning.” They both parroted back to us.

“I see you snuck out quite early this morning, Harry.” Gemma noted, looking up at me with a smug smirk. “Where did you go?”

“We went on a walk.” I bumped Bea’s shoulder with my own, winking at her when she looked up at me. A soft blush blossomed on her freckled cheeks “We just went to Solstice Canyon.”

“Oh, that’s a lovely park.” Gemma nodded. “Did you enjoy it, Bea?”

“Yeah, I did.” She nodded back at my sister. “I’m sorry I hijacked your brother from you this morning.”

“You can keep him.” Gemma snorted out a laugh. “Beatrice, has Harry told you about the time he played church mouse in a Christmas Play? He was about five or six then.”

“No, he hasn’t.” Beatrice looked up at me as my face went bright red.

“He wee’d himself on stage he was nervous.” She giggled, looking over at me. “But he was a proper cute mouse. I have pictures if you’d like to see.”

“Why do you still have pictures?” I groaned.

“Because you were an adorable little rat.” She smiled up at me. “Still are.”

Bea’s POV

Tara and Jackson had never acted so rude before.

I was so annoyed by their constant teasing in the car about Harry and I that I couldn’t even stand to look at them during brunch. Instead, I kept my focus on Gemma, Michael, Harry, and Claire. They were the highlight of my day so far, joking around with good intentions as we waited for the waitress to come take our drink orders. Chloe and Matt were lost in their own world, whispering down at their end of the table without so much as a second glance at everyone else. I never understood their ‘attached at the hip’ deal until Harry. I would gladly sit in a corner and talk to only him while everyone else dicked around. But I had a sister to impress.

“So hotel sales sounds interesting.” Gemma said, taking a sip of her water. “How did you get into that?”

“I fell into it really.” I shrugged my shoulders. “My mom works in hotels and I started helping her out when she needed an extra hand. Eventually, I caught the attention of one of our sales managers and she took me under her wing.”

“And what exactly do you do?” Gemma asked.

“So I do more event planning than anything, but I essentially set and build rate plans with our accounting team and I make sure that groups and stuff have the right rate. I do a lot of networking with people to bring in revenue for our catering and front desk team.”

“That’s really cool.” Gemma said. “I would love to plan parties.”

“It’s fun, but it can definitely be challenging from time to time.” I laughed.

“Hello, everyone!” Our waitress bound up to the table, standing right next to Claire with a notepad in hand. “Are you guys ready to order drinks?”

“Yes.” Claire nodded. “Can we do two pitchers of the O.G Mimosa’s and then two pitchers of the blood orange mimosas?”

“Absolutely.” The waitress jotted down the order, but my stomach churned at the thought of champagne. “Anything else?”

“Yes, actually,” Harry said. “Is there any other alternative to champagne? I read somewhere that people substitute it with hard sparkling cider.”

“Oh, yeah!” She nodded. “That’s actually how I drink it. What I suggest is getting the ‘orange juice bar’ which is just a few different flavors of orange juice and then two cans of cider per person. You mix it up yourself in a champagne flute so you’re in control of the amount.”

“The two of us will do that.” Harry gestured towards me with a soft smile. “And two orders of the waffle bar as an appetizer for the table.”

“Perfect!” The waitress nodded. “I’ll be right back with all of that for you guys.”

“Thank you.” We all said in unison.

“Hard cider?” Claire asked Harry, a knowing smirk on her lips as she sipped at her water.

“Beatrice doesn’t like champagne.” Harry shrugged, squeezing my shoulder softly. He’d slung his arm around the back of my chair earlier and I was grateful that I could lean into his side as we all chatted. “Figured we’d save her the hassle of a nasty hangover.”

“That’s really sweet, Harry.” Claire cooed.

“It really is.” I squeezed his thigh, smiling up at him as a warm feeling flooded my chest. “I really appreciate that, Harry. Thank you.”

“Of course.” He hummed out, leaning forward. He gave me a soft kiss on the lips before kissing my nose. “I know you’re excited about the waffle bar, too.”

“Extremely.” I nodded. “I can’t wait to try the blueberry syrup and the chocolate waffle.”

“That sounds perfect.” Claire groaned.

“What should I get for food though?” He hummed softly. “I’m really torn between the avocado toast and the french toast.”

“I had a feeling that you would be an avocado man.” I scrunched up my nose, glancing over at him as he rested his chin on my shoulder. “I think I’m going for the french toast. I can’t stop thinking about how good that triple berry trifle was and now I just want berries.”

“Yeah?” He chuckled. “Maybe I’ll join you.”

“Or you could get something different and we can split and share.” I suggested, glancing back at him. “That way, if you don’t like yours or I don’t like mine, we can swap.”

“You’re so bloody brilliant, you know that?” Harry smirked, leaning forward to kiss me again. “I like the way you think.”

Gemma fake gagged from across the table and I rolled my eyes playfully as Harry groaned at her response. He stuck his tongue out at her and she mimicked the action. I laughed at the two of them as they continued to bicker back and forth as if they were all still five years old.

“Think I’m going to get the calamari, Gem. What do you think?” Michael asked.

It was my turn to let out a fake gagging noise similar to the one Gemma made, scrunching up my nose.

“Is that what you consider brunch food, Michael?” She laughed before leaning over to kiss his cheek as he blushed. “Whatever makes you happy.”

“Squid makes me happy.”

“Gross,” I mumbled under my breath. “Squid?”

“Not a fan of squid, I take it?” Harry squeezed my thigh and I shook my head in response.

“Not a fan of seafood either, squid.” I glanced over at him, a small shiver of disgust racking down my spine.

“And to think, I almost ordered the calamari.” He hummed, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Guess it’s a good thing that I didn’t.”

“Yeah, it is.” I said playfully. “There would be no more kisses for you after that.”

“Well, no more squid for me then.” He leaned over, pressing his lips to mine. “Wouldn’t want to miss out on any of these sweet kisses, would I?”

“I suppose not.” I giggled when Harry kissed me again, only pulling away because the waitress returned to the table.

Our cider and orange juices were sat down in front of us before the pitchers were brought to the table. Claire wasted no time pouring herself a glass while the waffle bar was brought out. I was so excited to try my new form of mimosa that I didn’t even worry about the waffles. Harry noticed my excitement, grabbing a can of the hard cider. I watched him pop the top with his nimble fingers, my eyes glued to every movement of his hand as he poured the cider into the glass.

“Which do you want?” He asked me, putting the can down. “I didn’t even know there was more than one flavor of orange juice.”

“Do the dark orange one there,” I suggested, pointing at the carafe. “It’s blood orange, just like the seltzer.”

“That sounds delightful.” He hummed, wrapping his fingers around the carafe. My mouth watered as I watched his hands work again, pouting and shuffling things around effortlessly. “Something on your mind, Beatrice?”

“Hmmm?” I asked, snapping my eyes up to his.

He was smirking at me, the carafe of blood orange juice still in his hands.

“You seem a little distracted.” He said softly. “Care to tell me what’s on your mind?”

“I’d rather not while your sister is at the table.” I whispered. “Thank you so much for this, darling. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course.” He held his glass up to mine. “Drink up.”

#honeybee #back to the start #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry smut

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techmomma · 4 years

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So! You not really an alcohol drinker, or maybe you don’t like the stuff, but you’re out somewhere and trying to decide how to have some and not absolutely hate your drink either. Maybe you’d like to actually enjoy the taste of your drink! Even if you’re not looking to get drunk or even tipsy. Maybe you’re just social drinking once in a blue moon.

But being a newbie, or having only had terrible-tasting alcohol, you have NO idea what to get. Steph is here to help for newbies! Or people who don’t give a damn and just want to have a nice drink that actually tastes good for once, and not in a “oh this very bitter and tart wine is so sweet” way. I am myself now very sensitive to alcohol as a flavor, so the majority of these have Steph’s seal of “shouldn’t taste like trying to stomach down cold medicine and should actually be tasty to normal people who don’t drink alcohol”.

Please note to use this advice responsibly. This is not to help you get drunk, only to help you find a drink you probably won’t have to gag down and can thus enjoy the rest of your night if you’re choosing to partake in alcohol. Imbibing alcohol is a responsibility, and not one to take lightly.

“Girly drinks” are your friends. If you’re young or you don’t drink very much, your tastebuds are probably going to be oriented more toward sweet flavors and less toward bitter flavors. You’re looking for high sugar content baby. (And if you ARE looking to get drunk, this will get you drunk much faster than a whiskey, no matter what your hillbilly uncle says otherwise. that is the entire point of “girly drinks.”)

Most bars, pubs, restaurants and other places often have house drinks or cocktails in their drink menu that they make most often. You’re looking for drinks with ingredients like sweet fruits, like cherries, apricots, watermelon, mango, blue raspberry, lemonade, or novelty things like chocolate or butterscotch or cake or whatever. If anything, just ask the bartender or server if they’re not busy! The bartender will for sure know if it’s sweet, and can probably point you in the right direction if you tell them the flavors you usually like, or what you’re looking for. Yes, you’ll look like a newbie. That’s not the point. The point is to get a drink you’re not gonna gag on and that’s the price you pay.

Only somewhat related, but if you’ve never ordered drinks from a place with a bar, they’ll ask if you want to put it on a tab. That just means, “Do you want me to keep your order open so you can add more drinks later, or is this a one-time deal?” They’ll probably ask for a name then. If your friend’s paying, you give their name.

Typically, stay away from beer. Some rare people enjoy the taste of beer from the start, most do not. If you smell a glass and it smells putrid, steer clear of it. You ain’t gonna like it no matter what you put in it.

Most wines will also not be your friend. To those who do not regularly drink wine, it’s going to be impossibly bitter and feel like it’s drying your throat out despite being a liquid. (That’s the “dry” quality they talk about.)

On the contrary, however, wine spritzers, mixers, and punches? Those are your FRIENDS. These are legit going to taste like juice or soda or punch. They also tend to be lighter on alcoholic content (hence why commonly used for parties), and big on sugar. Spritzers are wine and soda, mixers are wine and some kind of liquor (usually a very sweet or fruity kind like a lemon or strawberry vodka), and wine punches can be as sweet or sour or fruity or tropical as you want. You’ll usually see them referred to as white or red sangrias.

Note: this is sort of why these can actually be MORE dangerous than like having straight-up liquor. These types of drinks with low alcohol and heavy sugar make it very, very easy to drink a lot of them, and have some extra surprise drunk times sneak up on you later because you drank more than you realized.

My rule for safe drinking? One drink per hour, follow with water. You will typically not get more than buzzed, and will stay sufficiently hydrated.

Spritzers, mixers, and punches are part of a larger group called cocktails. Cocktails being just “non-alcoholic drink + alcohol of some kind.” Rum and coke? Cocktail. Bellini? Cocktail.

Champagne cocktails are very often sweet, bubbly drinks. They are Steph’s fave for a reason. Mimosas are perhaps the most famous champagne cocktail. Those are made with orange juice and champagne. Can be surprisingly potent.

When getting cocktails with liquors/spirits, like vodka, rum, and so forth, you will want to stay away from particular ones that are known for very bitter tastes and hard kicks. A bunch also uh, in general taste like the inside of a barrel.

Typically, whiskey, gin, and tequilas are going to be very bitter and gross, and overpower whatever they’re put in. If you like really sour though, tequila goes well with margaritas, which are a lime drink that mostly covers the tequila taste.

Vodka and Rum are typically going to be stomached better, vodka usually being the easiest of all. Both tend to mix well with fruity girly drinks, the kind you’re looking for. Very potent, so imbibe carefully. In most drinks though, you’re still going to get that “cold medicine aftertaste” that clears your sinuses and sometimes it’s just too powerful for the drink. You can usually smell these pretty strongly before you actually drink, and that’ll give you a pretty good idea of the burn you’re gonna feel in a moment. Both are also good in sweet minty drinks, if you like those.

Surprisingly good drink for newbies: mead. It can be a little difficult to get a hold of, but it’s getting more popular. It’s made from honey, so it’s gonna be sweet usually by default. Peach mead? Hell yeah. Peach and honey taste.

Absinthe is actually very tasty, and no it will not make you hallucinate. It actually tastes a lot like licorice candy. Comes in fun colors, and with a sugar cube you dissolve into it on a special spoon. VERY hard to get in the US though, only a few bars sell it as a drink. Like I think it’s literally just a handful of bars across the entire fifty states that have absinthe and absinthe cocktails. If you’ve already tasted Jaegermeister, it tastes like that. I wouldn’t call it a newbie drink, but imo you’ll still enjoy your drink if George just feel like being special today.

Hard ciders have also been hailed as great for newbies, and usually very sweet. They’ve always been hit or miss with me; sometimes, yeah, they’re delicious, and other times they just taste like vaguely-fruity beer. Which is not great.

Beer, to me, tastes like old socks. So y’know, vaguely fruity old socks.

Stay away from most shots. This is usually pure liquor, and it is not pleasant. Especially if you have a small mouth like mine and sometimes can’t do shots in one go. Exceptions are novelty mixers, like those weird cake shots.

Cake-flavored vodka is not as good as you think it sounds.

So here’s some drinks that, as someone who’s tasted a bunch, I can tell you they’ll probably be easier to stomach. Some I actually enjoy as drinks.

Rumchata is horchata with rum in it, so a milky, cinnamon-y kind of drink. Good for newbies.

Kahlua & cream: coffee and cream drink

Mudslide: coffee and cream and irish liqueur; honestly best as a mudslide milkshake. holy shit. that’s heaven.

Bourbon milkshake: honestly if any place sells milkshakes and has a bar, you can ask to get a shot of bourbon added to your milkshake. VERY yummy flavor pair, especially vanilla milkshakes with bourbon.

White russian: kahlua and cream and add vodka

Red russian: vodka with cherry liquor

Dirty Shirley: grenadine (if this is listed as an ingredient that usually means a very sweet drink), soda, maraschino cherries, vodka

Bellini (bars that know what this is are sort of rare, you’ll probably have to explain it): peach juice and champagne

Mimosa: orange juice and champagne (acceptable for breakfast parties!)

Sangria (you usually can’t order this one from bars unless it’s like a special sangria night; this drink is usually found more at parties and social functions): fruit punch + wine + soda if the hosts are younger

Strawberry lemonade vodka: strawberry lemonade and vodka

Malibu cocktail: rum (usually Malibu Rum, hence the name), cranberry juice, pineapple juice.

Blue hawaiian: coconut creme liqueur, pineapple juice, white rum, blue curacao (blue-colored orange liqueur; it’s very fun to mix and also usually means a very sweet drink).

Mojito: rum, soda, lime juice, mint

Mai tai: pineapple juice, lime juice, orange juice, grenadine, white and dark rum

Lemon drop martini: vodka, triple sec (another orange liqueur), sugar and fresh lemon juice

Pina Colada: blended slushy drink made with creme de coconut, rum, and ice

Chocolate martinis: irish cream liqueur, chocolate liqueur, and vodka

Frozen daiquiris: slushy frozen drinks made with fruit juice and rum

Irish coffee: the one place where you actually might enjoy whiskey for those who don’t like it. It’s just that: coffee and usually a whiskey liqueur, like baileys. Creamy, warm, good for cold nights.

Peppermint schnapps hot chocolate: hot chocolate with a peppermint zip. If making yourself, make a big mug first and only add like a capful of peppermint schnapps, it can very easily overpower the chocolate taste. Also creamy and yummy for cold nights.

Hot buttered rum: an intensive recipe, but a very yummy, creamy, warm, butterscotchy drink that you stick a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of. Hard to get tastier than that. I’m very certain Butterbeer was originally based off of this.

There were a bunch of drinks that are typically considered “girly” for high sugar contents, but having had them before, they were just not sweet. Martinis are usually very dry and bitter no matter the fruit, long island iced teas only taste good if you like iced tea, cosmopolitans (cosmos) are heavy on the vodka flavor, as are watermelon vodkas and alcohol-infused watermelons, and a number of colorful, blended ice drinks that are usually listed are heavy on the alcohol burn, enough to drown out the flavor.

Hope this was helpful! Remember, yes, you might look like a newbie, but the bartender wants to help you find a drink just for you! Ask them questions (when they’re not busy), and they can totally help you out (most just like to help, but at the very least, helping you might mean some extra money at the end of the night). And if they’re real nice they might give you little samples so that you can have a taste for yourself before buying the whole drink.

#alcohol

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cheryllclayton · 4 years

Text

hashtag game! get to know me

tagged by the following lovelies <3: @daphnesvieira, @likemereckless & @thugheadjones

1. what is the color of your hairbrush? black

2. name a food you never eat - I’ll try ‘most’ things but I will not eat raw sushi or some seafood like oysters

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? Cold but I don’t like being hot, I’d rather be cold and put on a hoody and a blanket than be too hot.

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? working lol

5. what’s your favorite candy bar? Hmm...Reese’s Cups, Mirage, Snickers, Twix

6. have you ever been to a professional sports game? Went to my first NHL hockey game with the dear @daphnesvieira this year!

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? I think I was singing aloud to the song on the radio lol

8. what is your favorite ice cream? Cookie Dough...Heavenly Hash...and im also partial to some old school flavors once in a while like bubble gum, cotton candy, tiger tiger and licorice!

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? water

10. do you like your wallet? YES! I just got a new one and it’s black with blue butterflies from ShagWear! I love their wallets, they are soft and durable and cute and can actually hold all my cards and shit lol

11. what is the last thing you ate? Pumpkin cloud cookie :)

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i did by a couple new shirts about a week or so ago...

13. what’s the last sporting event you watched? pfffft i dont even remember....probably the live NHL game in February.

14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? White Cheddar or dill pickle

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? my hubby....or was it @lazydaizies....lol

16. ever been camping? yes, but i haven’t been legit camping (like tent/camper in the woods) type camping in years

17. do you take vitamins? Every day :)

18. do you regularly attend a place of worship? no, i do not

19. do you have a tan? in the summer i tan pretty easy...but i always lose most of it over our long ass winter

20. do you prefer Chinese or pizza? Chinese, but depends a lot on my mood

21. do you drink your soda through a straw? sometimes...it all depends really lol

22. what color socks do you usually wear? i don’t wear socks often actually...and when i do, my socks are all different colors, i don’t like boring socks lol

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? maybe....

24. what terrifies you? disease i guess....something happening to my kdis

25. look to your left, what do you see? my desktop scanner

26. what chore do you hate most? i hate dusting...always have...

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? LOVE the aussie accent! I’m jello of the woman who have it ( @lucivar) and it makes me wanna climb the guys that do ;)

28. what’s your favorite soda? used to be diet pepsi and im obsessed with iced tea but i haven’t drank pepsi in over two years and have only had iced tea a few times in that time as well.

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru, usually i have kids with me or have things to do...busy busy

30. what’s your favorite number? lucky number 13

31. who’s the last person you talked to? a coworker

32. favorite meat? chicken

33. last song you listened to? Savage Love

34. last book you read? Some romance on a reading app, i think it was called My Bestfriends Sister...or something like that....besides the constant fic i read lol

35. favorite day of the week? Saturday/Sunday

36. can you say the alphabet backwards? Absolutely not

37. how do you like your coffee? splash of milk or cream

38. favorite pair of shoes? flip flops...terrible for my feet but i live in them...when there isn’t snow anyway. When im not wearing them i am usually wearing some sort of sketchers shoes or boots

39. time you normally get up? when i work, by 7am, if i don’t work, whenever i want if i have nothing to do lol

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets

41. how many blankets are on your bed? 2 and a sheet

42. describe your kitchen plates? white with a floral print

43. describe your kitchen at the moment: probably still covered in baking dishes from last night lol

44. do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? mmm i like a good cooler or fruity drink...sangria...margarita...moscato wine....just a cold beer and clamato on a hot day...i’m not too picky when it comes to booze lol

45. do you play cards? yes, all kinds and a lot, just play kaiser and skipbo this weekend lol

46. what color is your car? gold

47. can you change a tire? yes

48. your favorite state or province? BC

49. favorite job you’ve had? the one i am in right now :)

I tag, if you’d like, @lazydaizies @lucivar @thetaoofbetty @charliemeg @alicat-gotyourtongue @anchor-bird-94

#tag game

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fangirlxwritesx67 · 4 years

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Cross Timbers

Dean Winchester x Donna Hanscum, Sam Winchester x Jody Mills, no warnings, mildly PG-rated Chapter 1 - 1830 words Chapter 2 - 2265 words

A/N: This story was just a passing idea until I brought it up in my Slack chat and got a ton of great ideas from the folks there! Friends, I hope I have remembered everyone’s ideas and done them justice. Thanks for this and everything else!

@boondoctorwho , @cherry3point14, @cracksinthewalls, @dawnie1988 @fookinghelljensensthighs , @icemankazansky, @itmighthavebeenintentional , @justcallmeasmodeus , @lastactiontricia , @mskathywriteswords , @rockhoochie , @there-must-be-a-lock , @thoughtslikeaminefield

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ Dean hated camping. He hated tents, and Thermarest sleeping pads. The only thing he didn’t hate was Pudgie Pies. And Donna, and that blessed air mattress that she procured in the middle of the night, finally allowing him a few hours of blissful sleep.

Not that he would admit it.

He also hated trying to make coffee while camping. He walked to the pump for water and then lit the gas camp stove to heat it and then loaded the grounds into the french press. What ever happened to a good old motel coffee maker or cup of gas station joe?

Then he looked up. On the opposite end of the table from where he was making coffee, a raccoon was perched, sorting through the scraps of dinner from the night before. Dean screamed, and so did the chubby trash panda. Dean reached out and grabbed the nearest things at hand -a pie iron- and brandished it at the little thief.

Sam popped out of his tent, already dressed in running gear, gun in hand, ready to protect his brother. He had the good sense not to say anything as he watched Dean face off against a raccoon.

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

Sam turned and set the gun down in his tent while Dean chased the little thief out of the campsite. He was stretching for his morning run when Dean came back, checked the french press, and leaned back against the picnic table. Their eyes met, they nodded, and that was all they needed.

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

When Sam came back from his run, the whole campsite was alive with action. There was a blazing fire in the fire ring and everyone was drinking coffee from blue enamelware mugs. Both eggs and bacon were hot on the camp stove.

“Hey, been waiting for you, big guy!” Dean joked, a happy grin on his face. “Did you manage to outrun the wilderness?”

“Did you ever get rid of that raccoon?” Sam teased back with a lopsided smirk.

Donna laughed out loud, while Jody pretended to hide her smile behind her coffee cup.

“I didn’t know you could fence like that,” Sam continued. “Can you teach me?”

Dean clapped his younger brother on the shoulder, hard enough to make his coffee slosh, before settling back into his seat by the fire. He gestured to the empty chair.

“Hey, I made breakfast, and that coffee you’re enjoying, Sammy. Sit down.”

The four of them lingered around the fire while the sun rose high in the sky. Light filtered down through the trees in wide shafts, warming the air and kissing the rocks with gold. Finally, Jody and Donna exchanged a look.

Jody stood up, hooking her thumbs in her pockets. “Well now, boys, I think you have … fishing and such. Leave us girls be, here.”

Donna hopped to her feet, too. “Yah, go on now, shoo.” She gestured with her hands as she spoke.

Dean opened the back door to Baby, and pulled a fishing pole and tackle box off the seat. “Wanna go catch some fish?” he asked Sam as he shut the door carefully. His shoulders were relaxed, his smile wide.

“Nah.” Sam shook his head as he closed the back door to his SUV. With an eager look on his face, he held up a cardboard box with tubes poking out of the top. “I want to try building this hydration system. I’ve been studying up on it for weeks, ordered all the parts online. I can’t wait to see how it works. Have fun, though.”

Dean rolled up the leftover breakfast eggs in a couple of tortillas and wrapped them in foil before tucking them in his shirt pocket. Sam tossed a couple of protein bars in his box. With one last smile, the brothers headed off in opposite directions.

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

Jody and Donna gathered up towels and shampoo before heading in the direction of showers indicated on their park map. The bunkhouse was rustic, stalls open to the sky, but the water was hot. Once they were clean, Donna dressed in a light sundress, while Jody put on yoga pants and a tunic top.

Back at the campsite, they built the fire back up and settled down. Donna went to one of the coolers and pulled out a pack of White Claw.

“100 calories!” She held one out jokingly, striking a pose, pretending she was in an advertisement.

Jody laughed and shook her head. “I know we’re taking it easy and not living by the clock, but isn’t early?”

“Hey, it’s after noon. The boys are having fun, the girls can too!” Donna raised her can in a mock toast. Her smile was warm as the sun.

Jody shrugged before heading to another cooler. She got out vodka and tonic water, pouring them together into an enamelware mug.

“Really, Jodes?” Donna protested. “It’s vacation! Treat yourself!”

Jody smiled, her dark eyes crinkling, before she pulled out a ziploc bag of lime slices. She squeezed one into her drink with a flourish, raising one eyebrow in Donna’s direction. “There you go. Fancy!”

The two of them sat side by side, talking, relaxing, basking in the sun. It was rare for them to have down time like this. No responsibilities, no monsters. They knew the Winchesters were nearby and they savored the moment, feeling safe and happy.

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

The sun was still bright but low in the sky when Sam and Dean returned to the campsite from opposite directions.

Sam greeted his big brother with a wave. “Hey, man, I don’t see any fish.”

Dean looked around before he retorted. “Oh yeah, well, I don’t see any water.”

“Do you want to come see the gravity powered water filtration system I set up below the falls?”

“Hell no.” Dean was cut off from saying more by the press of Donna’s lips on his, as he slipped his arms around her.

“Ready to make dinner, Champ?” she asked, tugging him towards the picnic table.

Sam pretended to ignore the two of them as he walked over to Jody. He held out one hand without speaking, and she took it.

“Show me what you’ve been up to?” she offered, smiling softly and getting to her feet. Their fingers laced together as they left the campsite, headed towards the sound of running water. Sam gestured eagerly with his free hand as he began to explain.

Jody listened with interest as he showed off every tube and mechanical bit. When he cupped clear water into his hands, she drank from his palm. It tasted a little like minerals, clean and stone-cold.

Then he set a collapsible water jug under the stream to fill with filtered water.

While it filled, he talked on and on. Finally, Jody reached for him and silenced him with a kiss. He was caught off guard, speechless. She tugged him down to sit on the stones that bordered the stream. She pulled up her yoga pants and he cuffed up his jeans. They dipped their feet into the flowing water.

Jody leaned her head on Sam’s shoulder. It was still a new experience for her, but not unwelcome, to be with a man who made her feel so safe. He slipped his arm around her waist before he turned and kissed her again.

Beautiful, he also made her feel beautiful. It had been a long time since Jody felt so good, relaxed and warm and loved. The sun was setting when Sam stood up and tugged her to her feet. He reached for the carrier, now filled with several gallons of water.

“Let’s head back, hm?” She lifted her face and kissed him. “See how Dean and Donna are going on dinner?”

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

Back at the campsite, Dean and Donna were busy at the picnic table, but it had nothing to do with dinner. She had her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs crossed around his waist, while his hands tangled in her long blonde hair, tilting her mouth up to his as they kissed.

“Ahhhem.” Sam made an exaggerated throat-clearing sound that almost not quite covered his smirk.

The two of them pulled apart languidly, not the least ashamed at being caught. Dean held out one hand and helped Donna to her feet before he gestured to the foil packs on the table as she spoke.

“We, uh, got dinner ready.”

Jody shook her head with a bemused look at Donna. “But the fire has to be built up and then burn down to coals, nah?”

“Oh yah,” Donna answered. “Oh shoot, Dean, what’ll we do now?”

Dean darted a look towards his brother.

“Uhhh,” Sam thought quickly. “You know, the meal I was going to cook tomorrow is easy. Let me cook tonight and we can grill tomorrow.

“Oooh, your big surprise dinner.” Dean tilted his chin up, challenging. “What is it, Sammy, kale smoothies? Rabbit food salads?”

“Actually...” A dimpled grin crossed Sam’s face. “Mac and cheese. And I brought the marshmallow fluff.”

Dean burst out laughing.

“I’m kidding. I'm not three anymore. But I did buy the good stuff.”

“Kraft?” Dean exclaimed as Sam held up the familiar blue boxes. “I’m really surprised you didn’t buy some kinda Annie’s gluten-free crap.”

“Hey, you’ve had Annie’s and you liked it.”

“Wasn’t the worst,” Dean mumbled.

Sam continued, undeterred. "Sit down, and let me cook for you for once.”

Jody hurried to his side. “Let me help you, Sam.”

He turned and kissed her full on the lips. “I know I’m no great cook like you or Dean. But I think even I can handle this. Sit down, relax.”

While the water heated on the camp stove, Sam got out bottles and ice: Margarita mix for Donna, whiskey for him and Dean. For Jody, he packed something special: everything he needed to make a Cosmo, including cranberries already skewered on toothpicks. He took one and perched it on the rim of her mug.

“Really?” Jody smiled up at him as she took the drink, her fingers lingering around his. “You know I’m not a fancy kinda gal.”

Sam’s face was soft, his eyes locked on hers. “I know, but you deserve a treat now and then.” He lowered his mouth and kissed her.

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

Dinner was quick and easy, but satisfying. Sam opened a can of green beans, and Dean got out the hot dogs. The four of them lingered around the fire long after the simple meal was done, drinking and talking on into the night. The four of them had more than their lifetimes’ worth of stories to tell. But they were stories of fighting, of blood and loss.

Instead, they talked about good things from the past, happy memories shared with family and friends. They laughed as they recalled moments early in their respective relationships: Dean and Donna’s trips for donuts or burgers, Sam and Jody’s movie nights.

As the stars came out, Dean got up and fetched his guitar. Donna moved her chair closer, her knee brushing his, as he played and sang, classic rock and slow blues songs. Donna had a golden voice that blended well with his low rich one.

Sam and Jody listened for a long time before Sam took a turn with the guitar. He picked out songs without words, quiet and dreamy. Jody rested her chin on one hand, watching him, and he smiled fondly when his eyes met hers.

The four of them lapsed into comfortable stillness. The fire had burned down to embers, warm and low. The forest was full of soft nighttime noises, rustling and murmurs, and somewhere an owl called. Donna was sitting on Dean’s lap, resting her head against his shoulder as the two of them whispered back and forth. Sam was holding Jody’s hand, stroking her fingers with his thumb, watching her face in the fading firelight.

Donna yawned, and Dean smiled.

“Bedtime, love?” he asked. His green eyes shined bright as she looked at him and nodded. She stood up and slipped an arm around his waist. Arm in arm, they walked to their tent.

Sam lifted Jody’s hand with his for a kiss before standing up. Carrying the guitar over to Baby, he placed it on the backseat and locked the door. “Don’t want to hear what raccoon bedtime music sounds like,” he joked.

She laughed then, head back, mouth open, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Shhhhh.” Sam pressed a finger against her lips before his mouth closed on hers. The last notes of her voice still echoed off the trees as she hummed into his kiss.

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

In Dean’s tent, a small electric lantern hung from the center ridgepole. Bare in the narrow beams of light, the pair below were both golden and freckled. Dean was strong power while Donna was all soft passion. As he rose over her, his hands tangled in her blonde curls and hers roamed his body. The air mattress dipped and bucked under their movements. The pillows stifled their soft moans.

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_

In Sam’s tent, he lit a few short candles in tall glass holders, filling the tent with flickering shadows. He pulled Jody to face him, side by side on the stacked bedding. He murmured endearments as he pressed kisses over her neck and then lower. She whispered his name as she pulled him closer. The two of them were perfectly matched, moving in sync. They breathed hard as they sought and found one another in the darkness.

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ Tent sex, Dean thought as he drifted off to sleep. That was another thing he liked about camping.

_/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ _/\_ SPN First Last and Always: @boondoctorwho @dawnie1988 @deanwanddamons @defenderrosetyler @divadinag @emoryhemsworth @fookinghelljensensthighs @idreamofplaid @kalesrebellion @kickingitwithkirk @maddiepants @magssteenkamp @onethirstyunicorn @there-must-be-a-lock @tloveswriting Sam Girl For Life: @awesomesusiebstuff @lilsylvia @winchesterxfamilybusiness Dean Curious:@adoptdontshoppets @awesomesusiebstuff @deangirl7695 @deans-baby-momma @mrsjenniferwinchester @stoneyggirl @wayward-gypsy @winchesterxfamilybusiness Cross Timbers Tags: @deangirl7695, @elliloumom, @meeshw777

#winchester camping trip #dean x donna #sam x jody #winchester brothers fanfiction #cross timbers #take me away

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lovelyirony · 4 years

Note

“I trust you completely.” clint & sharon (CW). i love their brotp :)

Clint Barton and Sharon Carter were never supposed to be friends. Seriously, they weren’t. Coulson had a plan and everything. He thought they would balance each other out.

Barton had been a new addition to SHIELD. They had brought him in from a circus, where he’d been dressing up in sparkly purple outfits and hitting targets for ten minutes, all with deadly accuracy.

Of course on the side, he had been taking down some enemies that SHIELD was having trouble aiming at.

But he was skittish. Quiet.

People at SHIELD had thought that he was going to be a strong and silent type.

They needed someone to reign in Carter, for at least a few moments.

Sharon Carter is very good at her job. The main problem is that she knows it and she knows that she meets expectations, although not in the way that people want her to.

(She knows they’re expecting a brunette with red lipstick and a will of iron, face of steel. But she can’t give that.)

Clint Barton is introduced as a means of mellowing her out.

He takes a look at her white jumpsuit and asks why once the agents are out of earshot.

“People notice you, you get the job done quicker,” Sharon says with a shrug.

While Clint isn’t as extreme, he requests his new SHIELD armor suit be made of dark purple.

Coulson gets a feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“I better not be getting an ulcer,” Phil mutters to Maria.

Maria Hill knows things. Like how Clint always smiles at Sharon’s funny commentary on missions, or how he writes everything in blue ink just to be different.

“Is it going to make you feel better if I tell you that you won’t get an ulcer?”

“No.”

Sharon laughs when Clint shows up in the newly-purple suit.

“Welcome, Barton. I think we’re gonna have fun tonight.”

Clint is very surprised at how casually Sharon treats missions. They’re outside the bar that a man named Sawyer Camron is said to frequent. The problem is that they don’t know what he looks like, and so they are on surveillance duty.

They’re sitting across at a diner, which in all respects is one of the worst/best places Clint’s ever been depending on your stance on health code violations.

“And you’re sure that it’s that guy?” Clint asks. “No offense, but I’ve been seeing you paying more attention the appetizers.”

“Of course I have been, there were mini corn dogs on the menu,” Sharon says. “But I do pay attention, all things considered. That guy hasn’t ordered anything but a single beer, and he hasn’t touched it since he got here. Now I don’t know about you, but beer that bad is usually only in New York City, and we’re nowhere near that level of shit yet.”

Clint loosens up after that. He’s been too focused on doing things to the SHIELD standard, following Romanov’s lead and taking Coulson’s advice for what works for him to heart.

He’s not...Clint’s a wack job. A nut, if you will. When he’s alone in his apartment after work he trips over shoes he forgot to set aside, barely knows how his own oven works (which isn’t his fault, the numbers have worn off on the dials, but still...) and he’s about one episode of Seinfeld away from losing all semblance of self and eating soup for four days in a row.

Sharon Carter is remarkably similar, which is both a surprise and expected as Clint sees her furrowing her brow at an app on her phone.

“What are you doing now?”

“I have a hydration tracker. Maria made me get it because I keep forgetting to drink water. I can’t remember the last time I drank water.”

“You have that problem too?”

“Yes,” Sharon says. “Maria will never stop giving me shit for it.”

“Natasha keeps getting me water bottles and I keep losing them.”

They laugh together, then turn to the scene at hand. Sawyer’s on the move, and his bill wasn’t even paid.

“Bastard gets a sub-standard beer and he still doesn’t pay the four bucks,” Clint mutters. “Thirteen, what’s the game plan?”

“I’m gonna go by his car, see if I can plant a tracker. Cover me?”

“How so?”

“Just wait.”

Sharon Carter is a master at giving a man a “oh hello there, I think you may be cute” look. Sawyer’s looking at her like she’s the answer to every single problem in the universe in about two minutes.

Clint’s in awe. He wants to know how.

“Teach me how to get a man to potentially get me a car now.”

“It involves so many things,” Sharon says. “So many.”

Clint Barton comes out of his shell.

While is a good thing, SHIELD cannot help but regret it.

Because Clint declares that he has “dibs” on seducing the next mark, it’s not fair that Sharon and Nat get to do it all the time.

“I’m not saying that you can’t, but I do want to know why,” Phil asks.

“Because I’m sexy and therefore relevant,” Clint says. “Also Sharon taught me how to look into a man’s eyes and get him to give me his wallet. Not related to this, I now have a wallet and sixty dollars. Pretty bitches always win.”

“Why did you teach him that phrase,” Coulson says to Sharon, who shrugs.

“You denied my file claim for a better printer.”

“It’s not in the budget.”

“Well maybe if you stopped buying high quality pens we’d be fine.”

“Do you like having the worst pens available?” Coulson asks. “Do you like having rage in your everyday life?”

“Of course!” Sharon says brightly. “But none of us deserve high quality pens. What you should do is give them in a reward system so that everyone knows that SHIELD runs on favoritism and they’ll have to fight for the good donuts.”

(Okay so Sharon’s right about this and Coulson knows this but like. He doesn’t want to tell her that she is.)

Sharon invites Clint over for brunch with Nat.

Clint thinks it’s kind of nice to have friends. He hadn’t really had any before, besides the kids his age in the circus that he would sometimes mess around with before the show.

Sharon makes him try different breakfast foods and go to thrift stores with her to find the worst options available.

“I think this is it,” Sharon says, pulling out a shirt that had a horrible stock image of an old man fishing with the caption: Born to fish, forced to work! Clint laughs, looking at it.

“This is the future the liberals want.”

Sharon cracks up, adding it to her basket.

She fully encourages Clint’s habit of buying terrible art to hang in his apartment. While Natasha and Maria groan when Clint hosts dinner and they have to see the terrible art that he buys.

“Is that supposed to be Dwayne Johnson? In a clown suit?”

“Yes, so shut the fuck up and eat your noodles,” Clint says.

“I love it!” Sharon declares. “I think it’s telling me that I could be killed in my sleep!”

“See? Sharon gets the vibes,” Clint says.

This isn’t to say that neither of them can’t be serious. They both can, and it’s absolutely terrifying when they are.

They’re going up against an old enemy of Clint’s. A guy who wasn’t the best to kids in the circus, often made people “disappear.”

Clint hates him. Doesn’t talk for a while. Sharon recognizes this, puts a hand on his shoulder. SHIELD has wanted them to proceed according to a very stupid, undercover plan that is entirely unnecessary. Clint could easily knock him with an arrow and be done with it. In fact, it’s what would be preferable.

They have a babysitter placed on them, essentially. SHIELD knows that Sharon can and will and has encouraged Clint to go beyond their parameters.

“I trust you completely,” Sharon says. “And will be backing you up should we have to go to Fury’s office. Fuck the plan. I’ll distract the other agents, you go.”

The guy goes down with an arrow to a shoulder.

The overhead agent, of course, is furious.

“He was supposed to be brought back unharmed,” he seethes. “What part of that don’t you understand?”

“That wasn’t an option,” Sharon says coldly. “The undercover work would have taken an extra two weeks, and I know you were bitching about missing your son’s basketball tournament. So take it or leave it. Hawkeye and I will deal with it.”

Fury, spectacularly, doesn’t give two shits how they got the guy.

“As long as he doesn’t escape custody the fuck do I care?” Fury asks. “Quit wasting my time, Rumlow already does that. Just sign off on the paperwork and go bother somebody else.”

Sharon grins victoriously at Clint as they’re out of the office.

“Thank god for Fury.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that, he might ask for things,” Clint stage-whispers. “Thanks for having my back, Carter. I owe you one.”

“We’re friends, you don’t owe me one for missions,” Sharon says. “Now drinks on the other hand...you owe me a trip to the grocery store so we can make frozen margaritas.”

Clint grins, pulling Sharon’s arm along.

“Race you to the car.”

“Oh, you’re on.”

#clint barton #sharon carter #i like the idea of them being Chaotic As Shit #maria hill #phil coulson #agent coulson #deputy director hill #also yes maria and sharon: could be gfs? maybe.#lovelyirony writes #fury #fury does not give a singular shit about how you do a job as long as it gets done and that is modeled off my english teacher from hs

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lostborderline · 4 years

Text

7/29/20

I keep not updating in increments of time and it’s truly because I have so much going on at once. This weekend was truly stressful for me. First, on Sunday, my dad came down to visit with his girlfriend to get my mind off things, y’know, about the domestic violence and mental abuse and other things like my boyfriend admitting to all the times he cheated whenever I confronted him about it and he denied it. My dad picked me up from work on Sunday and we decided to go to Misquamicut Beach in Rhode Island. It was so hot that day and walking around for like an hour trying to find a place to sit down and eat did not help our case. I did get sunburned a bit and I was wearing a t shirt and jeans like what the fuck. Eventually we got a reservation somewhere. This place did not have a lot of options available, but I chose to have a chicken quesadilla paired with a margarita. The margarita was subpar compared to other ones I have had in the past, but I did enjoy it. I had another margarita eventually, and then his girlfriend and I decided to share a huge alcoholic drink called the Fish Bowl. It’s like a half gallon of triple berry vodka, coconut rum, and others and it is dyed blue. We sucked it down and by then it was clear that I was drunk. I tried so hard to not show it, because I think it is embarrassing to be drunk in public, or drunk around a family member. On the way back to my place, I drank a can of sangria. Every time my dad and I hang out I get drunk. I had no problem walking it’s just my mind was going every which way and I didn’t like it. On the way back, they talked to me about moving, and how I should move back with them because of the current situation going on. I eventually agreed, and started texting my boyfriend everything they told me to say. Eventually my boyfriend pulled in the parking lot, not knowing that we were there too, so his girlfriend decided to confront him. We all get out of the car and go up to my apartment to pack up all my shit. My place was pretty messy so I was constantly falling over shit due to being drunk. I was also sweating so fucking bad and ran out of breath so quick. I managed to pack everything up in a matter of 20 minutes. My boyfriend was laying face down on the bed the entire time, crying. After packing everything up, I was in the hallway. I remember seeing three people out there and I was confused. I then realize that it was my boyfriend’s brother, witnessing the whole situation. I didn’t like it. I broke down, crying. My dad’s girlfriend started talking shit to my boyfriend and he retorted back and eventually I started screaming in my defense because everyone likes to backfire on me about past things I have done which was like a year ago. It seems that change doesn’t matter. I screamed that I had a video of what went on that night. I fell on top of my stuff in a mental breakdown. The last thing my boyfriend said to me was that he was going to come back for me, and that he loved me. I told him to please not, and walked away. We left, with my cat obviously. He was so calm during the situation, he laid in my lap the entire hour and a half drive up there, and never meowed once. My boyfriend was texting me the whole time telling me that he’ll change and do anything to get me back. He said he would quit smoking for me and help me get a car of my own. Not everything was clear during the car ride, everything is a little fuzzy and I’m not sure if I fell asleep. I remember getting up to Mass and unpacking my things from the car inside as well as placing my cat inside. We all left after to get a few things for the night at the only open store, CVS. I got a small bag of cool ranch Doritos, a can of soup, peanut butter lovers trail mix, a bottle of water, and a tall bottle of Gatorade with the sip lid. When I got back, I didn’t talk to anybody. My grandma said I should take a shower to wash away the day’s stress. I did that, and I didn’t feel any better. I got changed into a tank top and shorts to get comfortable, even though I wasn’t. I sat at the desk in front of my laptop trying to figure out the Wifi password so I could do my discussion board that was due in less than two hours. I couldn’t for the life of me and I started to break down. I knew things were so shitty, and I was feeling so homesick. I did eventually find the Wifi password and finished my board post. I was sobbing at this point, and I was on a phone call with my dad’s girlfriend, which she told me things were going to be okay. I eventually said yes to my boyfriend coming to get me after work at 6 AM. I believed that he would change. I had faith. I’m not sure I believe anything anymore. I slept, but I woke up a few times. The bed was not as comfy as the one back home. I was so fucking sad. I made a post saying, “I thought I knew what rock bottom was and the feeling of wanting to kill yourself, but now I am truly living it.”. I don’t think I can take anymore, honestly. 6 AM came, and I was slightly awake, half asleep and I felt like complete shit. I knew I had a hangover from the day before, my arms, legs were hurting like hell, aching. The rest of my muscles were sore, and I had only a slight headache. I was incredibly tired and felt worn out. I knew it was a hangover because every time I get really drunk like that, my arms are in immense pain the next day. I felt like I didn’t want to get out of bed, let alone leave the room to face everyone else in the house. I pondered how I was going to tell my grandma that I wasn’t staying. It was so heartbreaking to let them down, but my heart was sick and it wanted to go home. It wanted familiarity. It wanted security. It wanted stability. Yet, I knew that my life wouldn’t exactly be golden the way I wanted it to be. I got a call from my manager, she was so pissed at me the day before when I told her to forward my checks. She called to ask if I was coming back, and that if I did that I would have to work a shift as soon as I got back. I was dreading it. I absolutely needed a mental health day. I also needed money, though. I know next week my check will be absolute garbage for missing out on four hours. I did get up from the bed to get dressed and put on my shoes. I made an excuse to go out there, to make tea. So I looked for a tea bag that I packed with me and went out to the kitchen. My grandma asked me how I slept and if the shower helped. I lied and said it did a bit, it really did not. I took a few sips of my tea, and my grandma told me in the next few days of what I should do and what I would need for my room and stuff. I felt even worse just going along with what she said. Not exactly going along with her, but I remained silent as she suggested what I do while I was here. I broke the ice and said “I don’t know if I’m going to stay.” she told me to please give this a chance and that if I go back, my life would be shit and I wouldn’t be treated how I should be treated. She reminded me of how I would spend a week up here during the summer and how happy I was as a little girl. I was little, and things are so much different now. I didn’t know what love was, or pain, or anything. Now, pain is all I know, and I’m forever cursed with mental illness. I told her, “I know.” I told her that I believe that change could happen, and of my boyfriend’s efforts. I told her that he was on his way up here at the moment. She said, “no”. She would not allow me to have contact with him, let alone with him by ourselves. Once she accepted my decision, she called my uncle and my dad to let them know. My uncle freaked out on the phone, I could hear him screaming and it wasn’t even on speaker phone. He cares about me a lot. My dad called a little after and talked to me about it. He acknowledged that I was an adult and I have to make my own decisions, despite not wanting me to go back. My grandma broke down and cried “don’t do this”. I started tearing up. I hate to hurt people, especially family. It hurts so much. I just did not feel at home. She told me to call my therapist to see what I should do in that moment. I didn’t do it because I knew what I wanted. She also told me I need to take my medication and that I should go do so at that moment. I got up to try to look for it, but I couldn’t find it in the mess that was my stuff. During this time, my boyfriend was parked across the street, waiting for me and my grandma went outside to confront him. I dropped looking for the medication and watched what happened outside. I was told that she said that he looked like he was on drugs because he fell asleep waiting for me, and that the car smelled like pot. She said to him if he thought I was going back with him then he was wrong. She came back inside for a minute and then went back outside. She said to him that she can’t control what I do but if he lays his hands on me or abuses me again, that my uncle will come down there, find him, and beat his ass. She said he was not afraid to go to jail over me. As I was able to leave, I packed as much as I could into the car, I sadly had to leave my guitars and amp behind, along with a few other things such as my Beatles collection. I will come back for that. The last thing I needed to take was my cat, and I spent an hour looking for him. We eventually found him in the basement on the highest shelf. Fast forward to today and every day is still mentally taxing on me. I try to not think about what happened, all of it, I just want to erase the memory from my mind. My boyfriend and I did argue. I saw that his mom texted him that she thinks we are not a good match for each other, and that every time I come over, I fall asleep and don’t talk or get comfortable with them. I do not fall asleep while I’m over there, and it makes me extremely angry to hear that me not being comfortable with his family is disrespectful. I want to beat it into her brain that if I’m not comfortable with my OWN family, what makes her think I’m going to be comfortable with hers. She told him that she doesn’t get it. Yeah, you’re close minded, we get it. You’re a perfect, loving family. My family has NEVER given each other a hug in their entire life. That is what I am used to, so this sudden all up in my face affection creeps me out and I don’t like it. I also saw that my coworker (his friend) texted him that he should kick my bitch ass out, to which he replied, “no doubt bro on god”. I got so mad at this, not only can he not kick me out because it is also MY place, but to agree with him and let him talk about me that way just makes my blood boil. I confronted my boyfriend with this and he got angry that I saw his texts and said that I would never change. He also asked why he should defend me. I told him if I didn’t see his phone how would I found out that he’s been cheating on me. He said to stop bringing up the past. I started screaming at this point. I mentioned that I was going to confront his mom and stand up for myself. He said that if I did that, he would post me all over Facebook. I told him that I thought he would have changed, but to lie to me about that and come and bring me home is a waste of my fucking time. I said to him I wanted to take a break from him for at least a week. I said I enjoy being alone. he asked me what good is it going to do for me to be alone and that the only reason I wanted a break was so that I could go message other dudes. This was not true at all, not even the slightest. I started just yelling to leave me alone and go away, but he wouldn’t. He kept trying to touch me, massage me, hug me, kiss me, and I just wanted some fucking space and for him to get out of face. He eventually left to go hang out with his friend, and that left me to go do my schoolwork and listen to my heartbreak sad depressing playlist. I feel more at peace when I am alone, and I don’t see why it is such a fucking problem to want that.

#bpd #borderline #borderline personality disorder #mental illness #mental health #mental health awareness #journal #diary #entry #vent #rant #abuse #abuse story #change

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omg-just-peachy · 5 years

Text

from the ground up

hMM... I tried to post this earlier, but it backfired on me. So, in case anyone aside from me likes all the pining Tony Stark feelings + Steve and Tony reuniting at a wedding + a lot of wedding and friendship fluff... here is just about 7k of exactly that ❤️

Tony is rifling through his closet when he hears the distant chime of his phone ringing. It should be right there on the bed… He steps out of his closet only to be reminded that he’d covered most of the bed with the contents of his drawers. He sighs, sifting through the piles quickly.

He uncovers it on the last ring and grabs at it. “Yeah?” He huffs into the phone. He wasn’t in the mood to chat with anyone. He had to pack for this wedding, and he still had to decide if he was going for “guy who cares The Most” look, or the depressing but easy, “blase, couldn’t be bothered ex-boyfriend” look. He didn’t have time for distractions.

“Hello to you too, Honey Pie.” Rhodey. Tony lets out a breath.

“Hey, sorry, I’m just… packing.” He finishes lamely.

“Good, so you’re still planning on coming, haven’t fled the country yet, that’s a good sign. Half the reason I’m calling, honestly.”

“Great. Can I go now?” Tony rolls his eyes, piling shirts together and folding discarded pairs of pants. He was going for a long weekend, not a year. Christ, what was he doing? He hated that Steve still had such an effect on him.

“Not yet. I wanted to make sure you’re okay. Not freaking out? I know you haven’t seen St-”

“Yeah. Yep. I’m good. Great, as a matter of fact. It’s Pepper’s wedding, Rhodey, I wouldn’t miss it. Nor would I expect her to leave Steve out. I’m good. I mean Jesus, it’s been…five years? Five years. I can handle one weekend.” Tony tries his best to be reassuring, but he’s babbling, which always backfires. Rhodes knows him too well for bullshit.

“Yeah? Last time I came down to visit you drank three margaritas and nearly cried at The Blue Iguana. The waitress gave you free guacamole because she thought I was breaking up with you,” Rhodey laughs. Tony sighs again. He wasn’t about to tell Rhodey this, but he hadn’t been back there since that little incident. He really missed those tacos come to think of it… He shakes his head and brings his mind back to the matter at hand.

“You weren’t complaining while you inhaled said free guacamole, now were you? Anyway, that was a one-off. I’m fine. Now, if you want me to make it on time, Platypus, please hang up and let me finish packing. I have to look good to…”

“Make Steve realize what he’s been missing these last five years?” Rhodey interjects.

“Exactly. I mean- what! No! I’m giving Pepper away. That’s a big job, I gotta look the part…”

He hangs up to the sound of Rhodey laughing, and tosses his phone back into the abyss of his bed. He sighs heavily; he really needed to get his act together.

Tony should have seen the whole Pepper and Happy thing coming, but he’d been so tied up in the collapse of his own relationship that when he resurfaced after his months-long mourning period, they were already serious. Happy had popped the question about a year and a half ago now, and Tony was happy for them. Honestly. Pepper had thrown herself into wedding planning the way she threw herself into most things she cared about, giving it one hundred and ten percent of her time and energy. She wasn’t quite a Bridezilla, but Tony figures she’s one misplaced favor away from becoming one. Not that he was stupid enough to voice that; he was reckless, sure, but he didn’t have an actual death wish.

When it came time to decide whose side Tony would stand on, things almost got ugly.

“Oh, come on, Best Man. Gotta be! Tony,” Happy had given him an exasperated, can you believe we’re even discussing this? look, but Tony had shrugged, refusing to implicate himself.

“No, he’s the Man of Honor,” Pepper had insisted. Tony didn’t bother pointing out that Man of Honor wasn’t a real thing. After all, he was hardly an authority on what was and was not proper. Plus, it was kind of nice to have them argue over who got to have him. “After everything we’ve been through, I think it’ll be fun to have you at my beck and call for once,” Pepper had smirked, and suddenly, having them fight over him didn’t seem like such a good thing.

In the end, he’d told them to flip a coin, draw straws, something, and let him know where they landed. He would do anything for either of them, they knew that as well as he did, and he was already mentally writing speeches for both of them. Ten plus years of friendship… he’d need about three hours, give or take? Pepper’s face when he made that little suggestion was well worth the yelling. In the end, though, Pepper had asked him to give her away. The moment had made both of them more emotional than they’d be willing to admit, and Tony was honored.

He smiles, thinking back to it. Happy and Pepper, two of his oldest and best friends, marrying each other. Who’d have thought? If only Rhodey would have agreed to his “unmarried in ten years and we’ll marry each other” pact, they could be next. Instead, he was going to this wedding alone, and seeing his ex-boyfriend for the first time in years to top it all off. He eyes the contents of his suitcase one last time before zipping it closed.

“It’s one long weekend. It will be fine,” he says out loud to no one. If he repeats it like a mantra, maybe it will come true.

A five hour drive upstate gives Tony the perfect opportunity to drive one of his favorite cars: an electric blue Audi R8 that he doesn’t get to drive nearly as often as he would like. The endless, lonely road unfurling out in front of him lets him press his foot to the gas, roll the windows down, and blare his music like a reckless 16-year-old. It was perfect; so much so that he was almost able to put Steve out of his mind.

Almost.

The rehearsal dinner was later that evening, and since Steve wasn’t in the wedding party, Tony probably wouldn’t have to see him until tomorrow. Thank god for small favors. He assumes Steve hadn’t changed much over the years, can already picture the way any suit would hug his perfect frame. He swallows; he’s so not ready for this. Though how could he ever be ready for this?

Tony’s thoughts grind to a halt when his GPS chirps that he’d arrived at his destination. Fernwood Inn was gorgeous, and while he’d expected as much based on the pictures Pepper and Happy had shown him over the last few months, nothing compared to seeing it in person.

It’s an 18th century inn, complete with sprawling grounds, huge gardens and lawns, and a giant outdoor hearth. The entire place was theirs for the weekend. The rehearsal itself would be on The Sundial Garden, (it was actually called that), and the dinner would be out under the sky on The Great Lawn. Pepper had wanted a fairytale wedding, and she was certainly getting it.

He parks and finds his way to the front of the main house, a gorgeous, white Colonial style inn with black shutters and window boxes full of flowers. It’s like stepping back in time, something out of a picture of someone’s dream wedding. Tony can’t help but smile at how Pepper it all was. The old-fashioned nature of it no doubt appealing to Happy, too. Not quite Downton Abbey, but still…

The wedding party and close friends were staying in the inn all weekend. There was something like fifteen rooms inside, and Pepper had promised not to put him and Steve too close together. Tony looks around and hopes such a promise is even possible. The house is beautiful, but everything is pretty tightly packed. He can imagine Pepper coming down those winding stairs though, train trailing behind her while the sun came streaming in through the surrounding windows. Tony would have to stand next to Happy and ensure he didn’t faint at the sight of her.

“Oh, Tony, you made it!” Pepper throws herself into his arms for a hug and he can feel her sigh of relief. Over his shoulder she says, “See, I told you he wouldn’t disappear at the last minute! You can pay up later.” Happy’s laugh echoes through the room behind Tony.

“Pay up? What, you put money on me not coming? Come on, first Rhodey now you guys? Have I inspired so little confidence in more than a decade of friendship?” He’s kidding, but it stings a little, his best friends thinking he would abandon them on one of the happiest days of their lives.

Pepper rubs his shoulder reassuringly before Happy pulls him into a hug of his own. “Come on, let us give you the tour!” Pepper grabs Tony’s hand and leads him from room to room, explaining her vision for photos and line-ups and where everyone could get ready. Tony’s head was spinning by the end of it. If it ever came down to it, he’d elope.

They get to a long, dark-paneled room complete with an enormous pool table that Pepper announces is the Billiard Room.

“The Billiard Room?” Tony repeats, incredulous. “Is this the house Clue was based on?”

“The game or the movie?” Happy asks, and Tony raises his eyebrows.

“Either one…”

“I don’t think so, but now I’m going to tell people it was. We can all be characters from the game; I call Colonel Mustard!” Happy exclaims. Wedding jitters or his usual exuberance, Tony can’t quite tell.

“I think the role of anyone named Colonel should go to me…” A voice calls from the foyer.

Despite the shit he gave him earlier, relief floods through Tony at the sound of his best friend’s voice. This weekend wasn’t about him, he’s happy to be here for Pepper and Happy, thrilled, even, but… That doesn’t mean it would be easy. Having Rhodey here to help him through it would make it one million times better. He’d started calling Tony on his bullshit in college and hadn’t stopped since. If he got too morose, or worse, got any grandiose plans of talking to Steve after a few glasses of champagne, he knew he could count on Rhodey to reel him back in.

“Sour Patch, I beat you here? How is that even possible? Can you believe these two thought I wouldn’t show? I mean, who would think such a thing?” Tony drawls.

“Shut up Tones, I just walked through the door,” Rhodey tries to look exasperated but his smile gives him away. It’s like a reunion, the four of them together, like the old days, and they all kind of love it.

After hugs and greetings and another tour for Rhodey, Pepper leads them up the stairs and to their rooms. “I put you guys next to each other in case you want to relive your glory days with a sleepover,” she teases them.

The rooms are bright white, with natural light coming in from all angles. Simple quilts adorn the beds, and blue and yellow throw pillows add the perfect splash of color against the white. On the walls are detailed, hand-done paintings of the grounds. It truly could not be any more charming.

Tony tucks his suitcase into the corner, hangs his suit in the closet, and flops onto the bed, promptly closing his eyes. He might have fallen asleep had his door not creaked open as Rhodey made his way into the room, dropping down beside Tony. They were far from shy with each other after this long, and Tony doesn’t shift over or even lift his head.

“This place is crazy, man. How did they find something so perfectly them?” Rhodey marvels.

“You know Pepper. I’m sure she didn’t rest until she scouted out the perfect location,” Tony chuckles. Rhodey makes a sound of agreement and they lay there in silence for a few minutes, Tony’s thoughts drifting, as they always seemed to, back to Steve.

“Tones…”

“What?” Tony sits up and raises his eyebrows.

“I swear I can hear you over-thinking about Steve. You’re not subtle, even when you’re silent.” Rhodey sits up now, too, concern written all over his face. “I’m worried about you this weekend,” he admits.

“Aw, Honey Bear, that’s sweet, but you don’t have to. I’m fine.” Tony insists.

“You keep saying you’re fine, but I know you’re not fine. I mean, even I can’t help but think…” Rhodey trails off and Tony’s stomach sinks a little, knowing where he’s going with this.

“Don’t,” Tony says, almost pleading. “I know,” he murmurs despite himself.

“…This should be you guys getting married. Or you should already be married…” So they were doing this, then. Not even an hour into the weekend. Tony gives a defeated sigh and shoves a hand through his hair.

“But we’re not. Wasn’t meant to be.” He attempts a shrug he knows Rhodey sees right through. He had never told him the whole story. Had never actually told anyone the whole sordid tale, but now didn’t seem like the time. Their best friends were getting married. This weekend wasn’t about him. It would all be fine. He repeats his mantra first in his head and then out loud for Rhodey, who looks at him doubtfully, not breaking eye contact.

“Did you ever consider that this could be a second chance? Or at the very least, an opportunity to clear the air? Maybe some real closure will help you move on, Tony,” Rhodey attempts. Tony appreciates the effort, he really does, but he doesn’t dare let himself dwell on the possibility of second chances with Steve Rogers. His heart wouldn’t survive losing him a second time. Hell, it was barely surviving now, and it had been five years. He shoots Rhodey a look that he hopes says don’t start with me.

“Did you come in here to psychoanalyze me or to take a nap, because I know what my plans are until rehearsal…” Tony grumbles, laying himself back down. There was no way the beds were as old as the inn; they were way too comfortable for that. Rhodey huffs but lays down, silence falling over them. Tony would tell him the whole story later. Ideally after a drink.

Tony doesn’t even end up sleeping, despite his insistence on napping. He would have thought after a five hour drive and the anxiety of finally seeing Steve after so long, he wouldn’t have any trouble passing out for a few hours. But Rhodey starts snoring and Tony starts thinking, and well, it’s all downhill from there. Just like the old days.

He does lay there with his eyes closed for a few minutes before Steve’s face floats into memory. Would the five years feel all too real when they saw each other? Or would they shuffle awkwardly, lock eyes, only to have it feel like no time had passed? Tony feels vaguely sick with anticipation and uncertainty. Deep down, he knows he doesn’t stand a chance if Steve so much as looks at him. He never did; there was too much in those eyes. Some people wear their heart on their sleeve, Tony being one of them, but Steve’s eyes were truly a window to his soul. Tony is breathless at the thought of those blue eyes, the way they crinkled in the corners and lit up when Tony did something he found particularly endearing. The softness that settled into them each night, tired but unbelievably happy as they fell asleep together. The way they darkened in heartbreak in the end, shuttering against Tony’s words…

No. No, too far. Way too far. Tony heaves himself up and off the bed. A shower is all he needed. It would give him a chance to clear his head, and leave enough time to change and make his way downstairs with plenty of time before the rehearsal. Prove to Pepper and Happy how accountable and completely fine he was with this whole weekend once and for all.

He’s straightening his tie when Rhodey finally wakes up. Tony was starting to wonder if he was in a coma.

“Ah, welcome back to the land of the living, Sour Patch,” he teases with a wry smile. Rhodey could sleep through the apocalypse.

“Let me guess, you didn’t sleep at all,” Rhodey shot back.

“That would be correct, Tony nods at his reflection once and then turns toward the bed. “So, what do you think?” he asks. Sure, he knows he looks good, the suit was expensive and looked it, his hair was coiffed to perfection, but it was nice to hear it either way.

Rhodey raises his eyebrows appreciatively. “Haven’t seen you in a tie in forever. Hell, I haven’t seen you without motor oil in your hair in months. You always did clean up nice, Stark.” Rhodey doesn’t have to voice that Tony did all of this for Steve for Tony to hear it loud and clear in his voice.

And sure, he wanted to look nice on the off chance Steve showed up early. The man was punctual almost to a fault, often arriving places an entire hour before they were supposed to meet, when he knew Tony counted being five minutes late as “on time.” The rehearsal dinner was semi-formal anyway. Who wouldn’t want to dress up and walk the grounds as the sun set, wine glass in hand? It was a fairytale. And while he might not have his own fairytale right now, it didn’t mean Tony couldn’t enjoy Pepper’s while keeping an eye out for a certain blue-eyed blond.

Rhodey’s words floated through his head for the millionth time. Did you ever consider that this could be a second chance? Tony had thought about Steve and second chances, and all the things they had or hadn’t said approximately ten million times over the last five years. One thousand, eight-hundred and twenty-five days, give or take a few weeks. Sure, it was a lot of time to think about your ex, but Tony was nothing if not obsessive.

“Earth to Tony Stark, come in Tony,” Rhodey breaks into his reverie and Tony rolls his eyes.

“Sorry, just thinking.”

“About what I said earlier, I hope?” As if Tony would give him the satisfaction.

“About how if you’d agreed to marry me years ago I wouldn’t have to be thinking about any of this,” Tony says instead.

“Right, that’s what would solve all your problems,” Rhodey gives him a playful shove and makes his way into the bathroom for his own shower, while Tony makes heads downstairs.

The rehearsal runs quickly and smoothly, Happy and Pepper beaming at each other so hard someone shouted at them to save some for the real thing. Tony thought it was sweet, though. He’d always loved weddings. Watching people on their happiest day. Seeing the groom’s face absolutely light up when his soon-to-be wife came down the aisle. He cried every time it happened, at nearly every wedding he’d been to. He’d be the first to admit it.

Rhodey had joined them afterward in his own freshly-pressed suit, and everyone was mulling around the fireplace on the lawn with their glasses of wine, ironing out final details for tomorrow (Pepper) and catching up with old friends (everyone else). Tony was standing back, taking it all in, thinking, again, about what it would be like to be watching this with Steve at his side. Would they be grinning at each other, both thinking this will be us, someday? Would their day have already come and gone? They could be settling into years of marriage, probably would be if Steve had had his way.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Pepper says, appearing out of nowhere.

“Ah, my thoughts go for a lot more than that. Not sure you can afford me.” He puts an arm around her shoulder and tells her again how happy he is for her, how beautiful everything looks.

“It’s perfect, Pep, seriously. You deserve it,” he says in a rare moment of earnestness. She smiles at him and pulls him into a hug.

“Thank you, Tony. You know that means a lot. And I know this weekend can’t be easy for you, so … thank you.” They stay like that for a minute or two, two old friends who know each other inside and out. Tony relaxes for the first time since arriving.

“Whoa, whoa, I’m not missing out on this! Group hug,” Rhodey calls, throwing himself into them, followed shortly by Happy. Tony thinks again that regardless of anything else, he has the best friends in the world, and his heart is incredibly full.

Dinner is delicious, and they’re all full of too much food, all grown on the premises no less, and warm from the endless bottles of wine, when Tony and Rhodey drift away and make themselves comfortable on two lounge chairs by the dimming fire.

“So,” Rhodey starts, and Tony knows he isn’t escaping the conversation this time. He sighs, sinking back in his chair and taking one more sip of wine. He’s not a big drinker, these days, but the occasion calls for it.

“Yeah,” Tony sighs, not quite ready to tell the story, but knowing now is as good a time as any. It’s dark, and Rhodey won’t have to see the look in his eyes. More than that, Tony wouldn’t have to see the look in his.

“Steve wanted to get married,” Tony says, feeling Rhodey’s stunned inhale, can hear his mind firing off questions.

“But you always made it seem like…” Rhodey can’t even finish the sentence. Tony knows how he made it sound. He’d been heartbroken for so long and there was no one to blame but himself.

“Like it was Steve’s choice to end it, yeah. I know. It was just easier than explaining that I was the cause of my own misery for five years,” Tony shrugs, staring into the dregs of his wine glass. “Everything happened so fast, and he was so young, and I’m, well, me. I was petrified he would change his mind, or resent me after a few months of marriage. I didn’t want him to miss out on his life, saddling on to me. Ten years is a huge age gap, Rhodey.”

“Steve is wise beyond both your years, Tony, he knew what he was doing. He doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to do. No one asks to marry someone they don’t want to be with.” Rhodey is still stunned, shaking his head as he speaks.

“I thought I was doing the right thing for both of us!” Tony argues, more for his own benefit than anything else.

“Look. I think you’re crazy, but I love you, you know that. And I happen to know that Steve Rogers isn’t dating anyone right now. There was a guy for about six months or so, but…” Rhodey says, quietly. “This is your chance, Tones. I’ve watched you mope around for the better part of five years, sleeping with people you don’t care about, stretching yourself thinner and thinner. Talk to Steve. Just have a conversation and see where it goes.”

And, fuck, Rhodes always was the voice of reason between them. Tony just sighs and nods his head, knowing Rhodey can’t see it in the dark. They sit in silence for the rest of the evening, before standing and making their way to bed long after everyone else had called it a night.

Tony wakes the next morning to a grayish blue silence. The sun isn’t up yet, and he imagines he’s the first one awake at such an ungodly hour. He shuffles quietly down the creaking stairs, coffee the only thing on his mind. He’s still half asleep as he makes his way through the kitchen, hair a mess and eyes mostly closed when he walks headfirst into a strong, solid chest.

“Sorry, sorry, I…” Tony mumbles, blinking and looking up, only to feel his stomach absolutely plummet, a roaring in his ears.

“Tony. Hi.” Tony freezes at the voice. He knows that voice; he loves that voice.

Of course it’s Steve, at four in the goddamn morning, before he had coffee, or enough time to put on any of the clothes he’d packed for this eventual moment. He had morning breath and bedhead and Steve was staring at him open-mouthed, blue eyes bright despite the hour, blond hair falling in front of his forehead like it always had. He’s dressed for a long drive in loose-fitting jeans and a t-shirt that hugged him the way Tony would love to right about now. He’s holding a garment bag over his arm, a simple duffle bag hanging from his shoulder. He looks perfect.

Tony realizes he’s been silent way too long and opens his mouth to say… something. Anything.

“Steve,” Tony breathes his name, hating how stupidly vulnerable it sounds. This was not how he’d imagined this moment going, and he’d pictured it thousands of times.

“Tony. Hi,” Steve repeats, apparently as unprepared for this as Tony is. “I just got here,” he says. “Super early, I know. Classic Steve. I was hoping to just find an empty room and crash for a couple hours before things get started…” Steve says all in a rush, looking anywhere but at Tony, his cheeks going a delicate shade of pink so endearing Tony finds he can’t look directly at it.

“Sure, yeah,” he says, shuffling his feet and wishing for coffee. Or even better, whiskey.

“So... “ Steve sounds apologetic, eyes glancing behind Tony, and he realizes he’s blocking the stairs.

“Sorry, yeah, go ahead,” Tony says, and just like that, Steve disappears again. He’d survived, but his heart was beating at an interval that had to be dangerous, and he was pretty sure his whole body was sweating.

He makes a pot of coffee, as strong as he can manage, and slumps at the kitchen table, head in his hands, replaying the whole thing over and over. Steve looked so good. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at four in the morning, all soft apologetic tones and conflicted blue eyes. This was going to be worse than he thought.

Tony lets his pity party continue for another ten minutes before he makes his way back upstairs, barging into Rhodey’s room without giving a thought to the time or the fact that the man might be sounds asleep. He rolls over with a groan, opening one of his eyes.

“We really are back at MIT…” He says. “What’s going on? What time is it?” He asks, like an afterthought. He rubs at his eyes and takes in Tony’s ashen face before sitting up straight and asking again.

“What’s- Tony, are you okay?” He’s worried and Tony just collapses on the bed beside him.

“Steve’s here. I was going to make coffee and walked right into him. Gaped like a goldfish for I don’t know how long before I got it together enough to even say anything.” Tony sighs.

“Tony so help me if the two of you don’t get it together this weekend and give me some peace.” Rhodey throws himself back down onto his bed, letting Tony lay there beside him, quiet falling between them.

Tony manages to get himself ready, his suit, tie, and shirt combination landing somewhere between his “guy who cares The Most” and “Blase ex-boyfriend who can’t be bothered” looks, and he’s positive he’s sweating again as he and Rhodey make their way to the lawn for the ceremony.

“Tony, breathe. You’re going to be fine. I’m here whatever happens,” Rhodey mutters in his ears as they approach. Steve is sitting in the front row, right where Tony would be sitting after he walked Pepper up the aisle. Well, down the beautifully manicured lawn to the equally gorgeous archway. It’s covered in flowers and ike everything else, looks like it came straight from the pages of a storybook.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Tony takes another deep breath and lets the inn’s manager lead him to the rest of the wedding party, lining up and waiting for the music to start.

Like he knew she would, Pepper looks incredible. “Happy’s going to pass out,” Tony jokes, drawing her into a careful hug. “I hope you have EMTs here somewhere…”

Pepper just laughs and pulls him in tighter.

“You look beautiful. I’m so, so happy for you guys,” Tony says, voice impossibly quiet. He expected to cry, but he didn’t expect to start quite so soon.

“Stop that, you’ll get me going!” Pepper swats at his harm and chokes out a laugh.

They make it down the aisle without a hitch, though, Tony handing one of his best friends to another, and he takes a seat beside Steve, of all people. The universe was really testing him this weekend. He sneaks a look at him, and his throat tightens again at the sight. Steve is looking back at him, eyes bright with his own unshed tears, and Tony can’t help but wish they were for him.

The music plays. Vows are made and rings exchanged and there’s not a dry eye in the place by the end, least of all Tony’s. It’s beautiful, and not for the first time, Tony wonders how he could have ever been crazy enough to think he wouldn’t want such a thing with Steve.

The reception is on the lawn, sunset melting away until it was just lanterns on tables under the stars. There were long tables on the patio, with a huge, inviting dance floor and a dimly lit tent for drinks. Once darkness falls, the feeling is nothing short of magical. Tony is sitting with people he’s known for years, making small talk and reminiscing, but he’s a mile away. Every time he thinks about getting up and talking to Steve, offering an olive branch that’s probably five years too late, he chickens out. He goes for another drink, or dances with someone he hasn’t seen in years; anything to keep him from facing his own fucked up feelings.

He’s in the middle of one such dance when Steve asks to cut in, and suddenly, he’s letting himself be led, Steve’s strong arms around him like they’d never left; they’re closer than they’ve been in years, and Tony is finding it increasingly hard to breathe. His heart is beating so fast he thinks he might be the one needing EMTs soon. Steve smells exactly how Tony remembers; a heady mix of woodsy and mint and something else that’s distinctly Steve. Tony’s mouth goes completely dry, mind racing back to all the times he’d lost himself in Steve, and that scent that always reminded him he was safe, he was home. He was loved. He’s still struggling to breathe properly when Steve opens his mouth, and, in a moment of sheer panic, Tony pulls back, excusing himself and neary running in the opposite direction like the coward he knew he was. It was all too much, suddenly. He needed air.

He goes to the bar, under the pretense of getting Pepper a glass of wine, when he turns and bumps into Steve again.

“Tony,” Steve says, not a trace of surprise in his voice this time, and Tony realizes that he had followed him there, not letting him slip away so easily. Not again.

“Can we talk?” He’s so composed, even after their failed dance, and looking somehow more perfect now than he had that morning, in his navy blue suit, complete with a silk silver pocket square and shined leather shoes. Tony couldn’t have picked a better outfit for him if he tried.

“Uh, sure, I just have to deliver this to the bride,” Tony says, holding the wine glass up. Had he always been this tongue-tied around Steve?

“Of course. Go see Pepper, then meet me by the fire?” Steve smiles, and Tony can only nod, not lifting his eyes to Steve’s blinding smile and warm blue eyes, afraid of what it might do to him if he did. Tony’s glad that as ever, Steve is so practical, so willing to approach him seemingly without a care in the world.

Tony hands off the drink and is walking towards the hearth way too quickly for his liking. He was ready to admit that he was wrong, but would Steve be ready to hear it? He hated to assume, but based on how Steve had been acting so far, Tony dared to hope for the first time in years. It terrified him.

He was trembling just a little as Steve came into view, sitting in one of the same chairs Tony and Rhodey had sit in just the night before. Tony stops in his tracks, looking at him, wondering how he ever could have thought they would be better off without each other. Why was his first instinct always to run away from what he wanted — what he needed most?

“Tony,” Steve stands when he sees him, the whole thing feeling stupidly formal all the sudden. Maybe this wouldn’t be the second chance Tony had been hoping for. Maybe Steve was about to tell him they should do something really impossible, like be friends or something. Tony’s heart is in his mouth as he meets Steve’s eyes, expressive as ever, for the first time that weekend.

“Steve,” he says. He’s not sure what to do now. He feels like they should be shaking hands or something, but that’s too business-like. A hug, way too familiar, especially with how the dance ended, Tony thinks, embarrassed now at how he’d acted.

Steve’s arms are around him before he can finish the thought, though, so apparently a hug’s not too familiar for him. Tony is overwhelmed by the warmth of Steve’s chest, still strong and firm as ever, coupled with that heady scent that is so distinctly Steve.

“So. How’ve you been?” Steve asks when they break apart, way too soon, if you asked Tony.

Tony laughs a little. “Can we start with something less… intense?” He asks, and Steve gives him a look like he’s not getting off that easy.

So they start talking about their days. Their jobs. How they’ve spent the intervening years. It’s tough until it isn’t, until they’re falling back into easy patterns, sitting on the patio like they do it every night of their lives. The soft touches and brushes of hands that work their way into their conversations feel like aloe on sunburned skin. They exchange laughs and long looks that Tony doesn’t stop to analyze, so wrapped up in Steve and how much he’d missed moments exactly like this one.

Tony almost can’t believe how easy it is, but then again, this is Steve. Honest and earnest to a fault. A real live boy scout. A silence falls between them, and Tony knows it’s now or never. Their glasses are nearly empty, the candles flickering. The evening was wrapping up, and maybe it’s the magic of the inn and the fairy-tale setting, but Tony takes a deep breath and leans over just an inch.

“I’m sorry.” And just like that, just two words, the dam bursts. Five years of regrets and questions bubble to the surface and he’s powerless against the force of it. He needs Steve to know. He was wrong and for once, he isn’t afraid to admit how wrong.

“Tony, you don’t have to say anything, I’m-” Steve tries, voice and confidence faltering for the first time that weekend.

“I do, though. I thought- I don’t know what I thought, not really. That I was doing you a favor, I guess, by saving you from my mess, or any regrets about being with someone older than you. But instead, I made an even bigger mess, one that we both had to clean up, separately, and for years. At least, I have. But I… I’ve really missed you, Steve. I thought if I was the one to end things, to make you realize you were making a mistake, it would somehow hurt less. I shouldn’t have taken that choice away from you. I’m sorry.” He breathes the last sentence so quietly, it’s like a prayer. “I know we can’t start over but I think, if you would want to, I think we could try.”

It’s all out there, his whole heart, splayed out before them, for Steve to pick up or cast aside, and Tony’s breathing is shallow now, nervous and unsure but relieved, too. If nothing else, he could go home tomorrow and tell Rhodey he had tried.

“I don’t want to start over,” Steve says, and Tony feels the breath drain from his lungs. Well. There it was.

“Okay, sure, yeah, of course not,” Tony starts, standing up and knocking the chair over in the process. He couldn’t wait to get away from Steve, away from his bottomless blue eyes, his broken heart breaking all over again with no one to pick up the pieces.

“I don’t want to start over,” Steve repeats, and really, Tony heard him the first time. Saying it again is just cruel.

“... I want to keep going. I don’t want to go back, Tony. We’ve lost enough time already. I won’t lie to you, though. What happened hurt for… a long time,” Steve admits, and Tony is pretty sure he’s still not breathing. Steve reaches down, twining their fingers together like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and Tony all but sags into him. Steve still wanted this. Him. He wanted to move forward.

“Steve,” is all Tony manages before he surges forward and crushes their mouths together, fisting his hands in Steve’s formerly pristine shirt. They lose themselves in a deliciously familiar clash of wine-red lips and tongues and five years worth of hoping-wanting-praying that nothing could come between them just then.

When they do separate, Steve leans his head against Tony’s, a smile lighting up his eyes.

“So. We’re doing this. No running away without asking me this time, right?” He asks, and his voice catches just a little and Tony hates himself for ever making Steve feel like he wasn’t enough.

“Right. I couldn’t… I would never do that to you again,” Tony says firmly, and this is a promise he knows he’ll keep to the end.

“Good.” Steve kisses him again, light and sweet. “I want the choice. Because no matter what happens, or how old we get, or what you tell yourself, Tony, I will choose you every time.”

Tony nods, leans in and rests his head against Steve’s chest again. He would choose him, too. Had made that choice, for good, a long time ago.

The next morning, bags packed and hangovers abound, there’s a post-wedding brunch. Just close friends, and Pepper and Happy. Outside, they’re bleary eyed and tired, a little nauseous, but the cool breeze and morning light soaking into their skin helps a bit. Tony is all but sitting in Steve’s lap, not wanting to be away from him for even a minute, not yet.

He leans over and pops a grape from his fruit salad into Steve’s mouth, smiles when Steve swallows and leans over to kiss the palm of his hand.

“Some of us are eating breakfast, Tones, lord above.” Rhodey is smiling though, happy for his friend in a way that lets him pick on him just a little. Steve’s blush reaches his ears, though, and Tony wants to kiss every inch of it.

“Sorry, Platypus, we’ve got a lot of time to make up for,” Tony presses a kiss to Steve’s cheek, warm against his lips.

“Sorry, Colonel Rhodes,” Steve says, sheepish. “It’s just… well, we won’t, uh,” Steve stumbles over his words, looking over at Tony as if for help. He just laughs.

“Oh please, at ease, soldier. Just do me a favor and take care of each other this time. I need a break.” Rhodey gives them both a withering stare, and they nod, staring over at each other, sappy smiles still firmly in place.

Tony mock salutes him, laying his arm across the back of Steve’s chair and rubbing his thumb across the nap of his neck.

“Oh, and hey,” Tony says, thinking back to Rhodey’s patient insistence that this weekend could be his second chance. “Thank you for your service.” Tony winks.

#take two?#weddings + country music inspired fic #this is comfort writing to the greatest extent #anyway #i've been writing this on and off for literally months #who am i #my fic #ps writes stony #stony #mcu #stevetony #usernisi

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earnest-jumping · 4 years

Note

For the asks— do all the even numbers!

107.58

That’s so long, fuck- ok here we go!

2. I am outgoing until I can’t mask anymore, or I have a sensory overload.

4 I like to think I am easy to get along with!

6 ,,,Attracted as in romantically? I have no idea. But in a platonic way, similar interests, concern for my wellbeing and happiness, understanding and knowing of my limits and able to compromise!

8 Real life, no one. But Drake Mallard lives rent free in my mind

10 My roommate! We are very similar in many ways and we have some similar backgrounds, so we talk often about them and everything going on right now as well.

12 current 5 favorite songs: Vices by Mothica, Garden Song by Phoebe Bridgers, A Letter To Time by Livingston, Peace by Taylor Swift, and Cherry Wine by Hozier!

14 I believe in miracles. This world is too random and spontaneous for things people deem miracles to not be, ya know? But I don’t believe in luck. Circumstance plays into it, as well as pure chance.

16 Oh, fuck no. I would not kiss them again

18 My guy I can’t even tell you what was really a crush and what was heteronormativity forced on me from grade school onward. So... no?

20 I live in a dorm and I fuckin love my neighbors rn. On one side they’re both enby like me, and on the other they’re super sweet and polite!

22 I really want to visit Europe. Classic american answer, yeah, but I love history and theirs is so much more interesting than ours

24 My favorote part of my daily routine (that is consistent, student teaching and classes are nuts) is spending time doing homework and hanging out with my roommate at the end of each day, before she goes in to work the night shift. It’s calm and gives us a chance to catch up!

26 When I wake up I usually groan and fall back asleep for another ten minutes. I make sure to have a few alarms set so I don’t sleep through the morning!

28 My roommate. We’ve known each other for three years and she doesn’t judge me or make me feel uncomfy- it’s really nice as someone with autism to be able to live in close, constant contact with someone who you trust and are comfortable around!

30 Hmm...maybe? Marriage isn’t something I’ve ever truly thought about in a realistic sense- sure, I’d imagine a wedding and what mine would look like if I had one. But I’ve never imagined actually GETTING married to someone.

32 I will not have a threesome with celebrities because I am ~traumatised~ and do not like sexual intimacy

34 I don’t play sports, but when I was little I was part of a gymnastics class!

36 I have indeed liked someone and never told them. It was honestly for the better lmao

38 I don’t think I can really describe a dream person? I’m not very keen on having a list to check off when looking for a partner. If anything, though, I’d say trustworthy and caring.

40 I’m already out of high school lol. I’m in my junior year majoring in Early Childhood/Special Education!

42 Being extremely quiet for me usually means sensory overload, depressive thoughts, or my rejection sensitive dysphoria rearing its ugly head. Most of the time its a mix of the three.

44 Trip to puter space > bottom of the ocean, any day. DEEP SEA SCARES ME!

46 I’m paranoid that everything I’ve ever done in my life is all for naught, and I’ve faked everything about myself subconsciously.

48 I have been drunk before! My seven year old self accidentally drank a full margarita instead of the kiddie version my grandma made with sprite instead of alcohol.

50 The color of the last hoodie I wore was grey!

52 One thing I wish I could change about myself is I wish I didn’t have so much weight. It’s not fun trying to navigate the world as an afab nonbinary person with people telling you it’s “just because you don’t like your body”.

54 My favorite store is Walmart for groceries (broke college students holla) and Torrid for clothes! (They have cuter stuff than anywhere else, and carry my size always)

56 My favorite color is Blue! Kind of a dark sky blue, like sky blue 3 or 4

58 I just had some Hershey’s candy drops as the last thing I ate!

60 In fourth and fifth grade I won two school writing competitions and got a trophy for it 😌 I wrote about the Titanic (thank you special interest)!

62 I have never been arrested, and I’m not planning on it any time soon lol

64 My first kiss was a dare and I hated every second of it cause the guy was an ass about it until it happened (he’d been badgering me for weeks)

66 Uhh I’m gonna be honest and say no? As much as I love my tumblr friends (ayy hi guys) I’ve known my friends in real life for longer and those bonds are just, amazing and so strong.

68 Tumblr > Twitter, any day.

70 my best friends’ names are: Emili, Autumn, Maggie, and Erin

72 My towels are grey

74 I have many stuffed animals- uh probably seven or eight.

76 Not answering this one lmao

78 My favorote ice cream clavor is Graham Central Station from this place called Bruster’s! It’s really good.

80 I am wearing blue pajama pants because ~comfy~

82 My favorite movie is Coraline! I watch it repeatedly

84 Mean Girls > 21 Jump Street

86 Nemo is my favorite character from Finding Nemo!

88 The last person I talked to today was my roommate

90 I love my baby brother Reid!

92 I am not currently in a fight with anyone.

94 I own three sweaters/hoodies- I need to get more!

96 My favorote actress is and always will be Kiera Knightley.

98 I do not tan a lot- naturally or artificially. I just burn #whitepeopleproblems

100 I am feeling *tired*. A bitch is exhausted today

102 I regret everything from my past

104 I don’t tend to miss people that much? I’m not good with emotional connections to people that last after they’re gone.

106 I feel like I’ve broken my mother’s heart- for coming out, for rebelling, etc.

108 I should be working on homework but I am not.

110 I have indeed liked someone so much it hurt- in the sense that liking them was not good for me and led to a lot of heartache.

112 The last person I cried in front of was my parents, and it was not on purpose lmao

114 I’ve been out of my state lots- Florida, South and North Carolina, West Virgina, Delaware, Massachusetts.

116 Nope, not currently listening to music.

118 I fuckin LOVE chinese food

120 I used to be afraid of the dark, not anymore. I love it now.

122 Cheating is NEVER okay.

124 I do not believe in love at first sight- I barely believe in love 🤷🏼

126 I am indeed currently bored

128 I would love to change my name- legally and personally. I’m not sure “Ryn” is suitable anymore

130 I don’t like subway. Not a fan of sub sandwiches

132 The last person I had a deep conversation with is my roommate

134 Pfft, no. I can’t count to one million my brain wouldn’t focus that long

136 Due to the fact I live in a community dorm hall, I sleep with my door closed and ~locked~

138 Straight hair

140 Winter > Summer

142 My favorite month is October! Atlanta Pride, my birthday, and Halloween! Plus it starts getting colder!

144 Dark>Milk>White chocolate, in that order

146 Since it’s now morning, yes today has been a good day so far

148 My favorite quote is anything that has to do with being a decent fucking human being

150 The first line of the page is “You were right”.

#ryn tags #ryn talks #about me #ask me #ask ryn #anon ask #ask game #ask meme #anon

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she-is-tim · 5 years

Text

Bleeding Hearts | Elu Vampire Soulmate AU | Ch.2

AO3 link

Eliott is living on alcohol, weed and blood. That drives his dead body on a daily basis, giving him at least some kind of purpose in his meaningless life. Being immortal sucks. Being dead sucks even more. All he wants is to get out of this endless loop of nothingness, but he doesn’t expect that to happen so soon. When he meets him, his world turns upside down and his heart starts to beat again.

Ch.1

Crossing paths

Blood was dripping down from his lips as he raised his head. An inhuman groan left his throat as the warm liquid filled his insides. His whole body was on fire, he felt himself becoming stronger, invincible even. The metallic flavor on his tongue reminded him of who he was and where he belonged, to the darkness. No one could stop him, because he could kill them all. There will be no more hesitation, no more holding back. The beast inside him cried out, showing his dominance. He slowly opened his eyes that were sparkling blue in the dim light, gazing down at the body in front of him. A beautiful face, small frame, the disheveled brown locks now bathing in deep crimson liquid that was still flowing out of the two holes bitten into his soft neck. Large, ocean blue eyes wide open, showing no signs of life in them. Lucas was dead. The monster killed him.

Eliott’s eyes snapped open, gasping for air. His whole body was covered in cold sweat, hair sticking to his forehead, tears rolling down his cheeks. He grabbed the shirt he was sleeping in, trying to normalize his breathing and heartbeat. It was such a hard thing to live with a functioning body after spending more than twenty years to get used to being dead. He was just like every other human being, sweating, crying, swallowing, peeing, sleeping, but still different. The sun still burned him, that was sure and he still craved for blood more than anything. Actually things got worse in the last few days.

He kept following Lucas from afar, making sure the boy won’t notice him. He knew that this was not right, but he just couldn’t hold himself back. It was a strong force inside that made him listen to his newly awakened heart instead of his head. And of course it wouldn’t shut up about Lucas. He needed to know where he lived, where he was working, going to school, to get coffee, who he was visiting at the hospital. Every single detail about his life. At least it was a reason for him to get out of his apartment. Luckily the weather was really cloudy and cold, so he was able to be outside during daytime. He had to admit that with his alive body there came a lot of inconveniences, like feeling cold. Wearing shoes were just as awful as he remembered, but he needed it to protect his feet from the cold. Funny how just for that he wished his dead body back.

He reached for his phone, that somehow ended up on the floor next to his bed to check the time. It was already past 10, so Lucas was already on the campus, probably being bored to death. Eliott loved to watch him through the university building windows as he was sitting in the classroom, tapping on his cheeks with a pencil, gazing at the professor with those beautiful, ocean blue eyes. Whenever it seemed like the boy noticed him, his heart would beat a thousand miles per hour, just to realize it’s basically impossible. He was a vampire, Lucas was a mortal, therefore he was not able to recognize him until he wanted him to. Of course that was all his heart wished for, but he just couldn’t let it happen. He knew if he would enter the boy’s life in any form, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from being around him all the time, trying to get his attention and make him fall in love.

He got up from his bed. Since he met his “soulmate” and his heart started beating again he needed much more sleep than before. Now it was 5-6 hours instead of 1 or 2. His abilities were still the same, he was fast, quiet, agile and strong. It was just his brain needed a break and his body needed recharge, which was accomplished by sleeping.

The kitchen was a bit messy, since he tried to cook something last night, which almost ended with burning down the place. Thankfully he was fast enough to put out the small fire in the pan, but he was sure that the omlette he was making died in the accident. A sad story really. He might do a funeral for it later the day by the trash cans behind the building. Gotta give the honor to those poor eggs that sacrificed themselves to prove him that becoming a vampire didn’t help with his cooking skills.

He was too sleepy to clean up his own mess, so he just turned on his coffee machine and waited for it to make him some liquid black gold. His hands were still shaking and his heart was racing after the terrible dream he had. Ever since he was following the boy, nightmares like this were haunting him endlessly, reminding him of what could happen if he gets too close to Lucas. What happens if he loses control when he’s around him. That’s why he has to stay away, just observing from the distance, never initiating any sort of contact. One cup of black coffee later he was agressively staring out the window, well more precisely through a small gap between the thick curtains. The sun was shining bright, no signs of clouds. He hated days like this, because it meant that he had to spend his time inside his apartment, far from Lucas.

He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. This was not the end of the world, he will go to see him after the sun sets, until then he has a lot of time to spend. The living room was also a mess, crumpled papers, empty beer bottles and an empty box of chinese takeout he ordered after last night’s tragedy. He flopped down on the couch, turning on the TV and just letting it fill the annoying silence. Well, he could hear people walking on the streets, the old lady downstairs talking to her cat, some young couple having sex a few doors away. Who the hell has sex at 11 in the morning? Don’t they have a workplace or school to attend to? Fucking youngsters.

━━━━

He was halfway through a TV show called The Umbrella Academy when he got startled by his buzzing phone. He reached for it, snatching from the coffee table he was resting his feet on and accepted the call without checking who was calling him.

“Yes?” he asked, his voice was still a bit raspy, considering he haven’t talked to anyone in days now.

“Eliott, my favorite barista! How’s it going?” came the enthusiastic voice of Alexandre Delano from the other side of the line. He couldn’t help the small smile creeping up on his face. They knew each other since a while now. Even a vampire needs a job to maintain his regular life somehow, like paying rent, his Netflix subscription, buying weed, alcohol, coffee and other unhealthy things to fuel his body on a daily basis. That’s why he had a part-time job at a night club a couple streets away from his apartment. It was perfect, because they opened after sunset and were closing a few hours before dawn, which meant that he could work without making stupid excuses when it’s a sunny day. Plus the job was fairly easy, he had to make cocktails, serve it and be charming. Basically the perfect place for a vampire. It also helped him with his self control, since it wasn’t easy being around so many people, feeling their pulse pumpig to the rhythm of the loud music, exposed necks and easy preys everywhere.

“Hey, Alex. Long time.” he said softly, pausing the episode he was currently watching. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you could come in and cover a shift for us today. You weren’t here since a week now and Emma fucking misses you.” he said with playfulness in his tone, which made Eliott chuckle.

“Or she just misses my special margarita cocktail.” he joked, but it was probably true. Emma was his coworker, just like Alex, but she couldn’t quite keep herself away from the drinks. She almost got fired a couple times, but the boys always stood up for her.

“Oh, come on, man! We all miss your stupid face!” he claimed. “What would we do without your sarcastic jokes and grumpy behavior?”

“That’s just super nice, thank you.” he murmured, rolling his eyes with a fond smile on his face.

“You know how I meant. And it’s fucking friday, students are going crazy! There will be a lots of people. We need all the help we can get.”

“Chill, Alex. I was in the minute I heard your voice.” he calmed him softly, enjoying the warm feeling that was spreading in his chest.

“Really?! That’s cool. See you at 21h?” he asked happily and Eliott could hear Emma’s voice in the background. They were probably out together somewhere.

“Sure. See you.” he replied and hung up.

━━━━

Long hours passed and the club was now filled with mostly tipsy and wilding university students, trying to get rid of all the stress they’ve been gathering throughout the whole week. Eliott was surprised that his beast didn’t even try to burst out, even though he drank half a liter of AB+ before he left his apartment. Maybe it was because of his beating heart, he had no idea, but there was no reason to complain, since that made his job ten times easier.

He had a lot of fun at the bar with Alex and Emma, making cocktails, serving drinks to sweaty youngsters, enjoying the thumping sounds of dubstep and techno music while watching the crowd of bodies swaying on the dance floor. Of course the brunette couldn’t help herself and got a tiny bit tipsy within two hours. She was a pain in the butt to handle, keep spilling drinks, jabbering at the guests and dancing around the boys clumsily. They had to help her up or clean the mess she made, but they didn’t mind it, because they were having fun. Eliott couldn’t remember the last time he laughed so much, but with all these new feelings inside him, everything was much more intense. Halfway through their shift Alex pointed out how he changed, but in a good way and that he is happy for him, to which Eliott replied with a wide grin. He really was happier and his friend had no idea how much he actually changed. Finally he could feel like he was a normal boy, who wasn’t 48 years old, stuck in a 20 year old body and craving for other people’s blood. He was just Eliott, the bartender.

Somewhere around midnight he needed to go to the bathroom, just to wash his face and refresh himself. Babysitting Emma all night was a hard task, even for an immortal. As he looked in the mirror, water dripping from his face he felt like he is not seeing a monster, but himself. The young boy that got killed so long ago by a creature of the night made his way back, taking over his body, enjoying his life. He wished for this to be permanent, but a little voice in the back of his head kept reminding him that he can never be normal again, that he and his whole life is completely fucked up.

He wiped his face with a paper towel and exited the bathroom, walking back towards the bar. He had to stop for a moment when his heart skipped a beat. It was so sudden and unexpected, that he got shocked. It took him not more than a few seconds to notice the cause of it. Lucas was standing by the bar, holding a bottle of beer and chatting with Alex casualy. Eliott panicked. His breathing quickened, heart racing like there’s no tomorrow and his nose got filled with the oh, so familiar scent of mint and deodrant, covering all the different smells that were flying around in the air. He could only see and feel the presence of Lucas, everyone else ceased to exist for him.

What the fuck is he doing here?!

He could feel his palms getting sweaty, hair sticking to the nape of his neck. His heart was screaming at him, telling him to go over there, talk to Lucas, but this time his brain was sober enough to start coming up with escape routes. He knew he shouldn’t be running away from his workplace, but he couldn’t go there to the brunette and act like he wasn’t just following him for 2 weeks in a row, watching his every step, memorizing his classes and routines.

No, he can’t go there. No way. He was just about to head towards the back door that was leading to the storage, sneaking out from there, when Emma appeared next to him. He was usually well aware of his own surroundings, being able to tell if someone tried to approach him, but not this time. He was too fucking preoccupied with a certain brown haired, blue eyed boy that was currently laughing at something his stupid friend - Basile, if he remembers his name correctly - said just now. And damn if that laugh wasn’t the best thing he ever heard, Adding to that he was wearing tight, stone washed black jeans with a black button up shirt. Eliott swallowed.

“Hey, Eli! My sweetheart, why are you standing here alone?” she chirped, the smell of vodka mixed with brandy almost, almost covered the sweet scent of Eliott’s beloved boy. Emma threw her arm around the guy’s neck and pulled him towards the bar, keep rambling about some shit. He tried to resist, but it would be too suspicious. He had no choice but to join his friend at the bar.

“Hey! You’re back!” Alex yelled over the loud music happily. “I was worried that you flushed yourself down in the toilet.” he joked and nudged his side playfully.

Eliott would laugh at his joke, but all of his hairs were straightening up as he felt the strong presence of Lucas. He was too busy explaining something to his friends at the moment, so he got the chance to just take him in. His beautiful face, his strong jawline, that fucking disheveled hair, his long lashes that were casting spidery shadows on his soft cheeks. Damn, he was so beautiful.

He got startled out of his thoughts by fingers snapping in front of his nose. He shook his head and looked at Emma, who was standing in front of him with a smug grin on her face. Oh, fuck!

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” she asked, though it seemed like she already knew the answer. Eliott took a deep breath and shook his head. It was almost impossible to take his eyes off of Lucas, but he somehow managed to do it.

“Nothing, I’m going back to work.” he said, trying to sound nonchalant, walking to the other side of the bar, as far away from the boys as he just could, but before he had a chance to get away, Alex grabbed his hand, pulling him to his side. He gasped as the realization hit him that all four boys had their eyes fixed on him. Those ocean blue ones were even more beautiful in the blue and pink neon lights of the place. His heart was beating to the rhythm of the music that was currently playing, though he couldn’t tell what it was actually.

“Don’t try to escape!” Alex said with a wide smirk on his face, pointing forward with the hand that wasn’t gripping into Eliott’s shirt. “These are my sweet friends. They just started college.” he explained enthusiastically. The gang in front of them smiled friendly, they must have heard about the mysterious Eliott Demaury already. Emma likes talking when she’s drunk and he was away for enough time for her to spill some tea to basically anyone that was in her vicinity.

“Hey, you must be the famous Eliott.” Yann said, her bright smile was in stark contrast with his skin color, which was just extremely charming. Eliott would sure find him handsome, but his eyes were still fixated on one face and it seemed like Lucas also had his full attention on him. Ocean blue eyes boring holes into his face, making his cheeks heat up. What the fuck was this boy doing to him?

“Yes, he is.” Alex answered, pinching his side while shooting him a disapproving look that was saying ‘Just this one time, be nice to them, okay?’ Eliott wished if he could do that, but as he opened his mouth, nothing came out.

“Ahw, look at him, being at loss of words.” Emma chimed in, sipping on a glass of god knows what, having a wide smile on her face still. “Excuse him, but he probably never seen such beautiful boys like you. Not Basile, but like the others.” she said smirking, winking at her friends.

“Hey! I’m attractive, okay?” the curly haired boy whined, slamming his beer bottle on the counter, earning a grumpy look from Alex.

“No, I’m fine.” He finally managed to find his voice and talk. He could see something shift through the brunette’s face, but it was gone in a second. “Yes, I’m Eliott. Nice to meet you.” he said and his foolish brain and his fucking polite behavior made him raise his hand. Yann grabbed it first, sending him an encouraging smile.

“Yann, nice to meet you.”

“Arthur.” was the next one, hair softly curling up by his ears, his glasses sitting peacefully on his reddened cheeks.

“Basile, we heard a lot about you.” he said with an excited grin, shaking the offered hand a bit too fast and too long. Still Eliott would rather take that than touching the last member of the gang. His heart threatened to just burst out of his chest in excitement and fear. Last time they touched was so fucking intense he got a panic attack, so what would happen if they shake hands?

He had no chance to get away from it now. Basile’s sweaty palm left his, so he reached towards Lucas, who looked a bit nervous before grabbing it. The feeling of it was like electricity blasting through his nerves and veins, freezing him to the spot where he was standing. It was like something clicked inside him, like a puzzle piece finally found it’s place in the big picture. As he examined the face of the other, he just knew that Lucas was feeling this intensity too. He pulled his hand back like he was touching fire, eyes widening from shock.

“What’s wrong, Lulu?” Alex asked worried, switching his eyes from Eliott to the boy and then back.

“Nothing.” he mumbled, his voice slightly shaking. He unconsciously licked over his bottom lip, taking it between his teeth while looking at Eliott, searching for answers on his face. He wished if he could give it to him, right after he kissed those soft lips bright red. I am so damn fucked.

“Wanna go back to dance?” Yann asked softly, placing a hand on his best friend’s shoulder, who finally tore his gaze away from Eliott. He could finally breathe normally again.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” he mumbled on a soft tone, finishing his beer with a few gulps and Eliott couldn’t help, but stare at his Adam’s apple moving up and down on his throat. He had to grab the counter because his fangs just popped out. The control he had over himself for the last few hours was thrown out of the window now. Every single nerve in his body was screaming for Lucas as he walked back to the dance floor with his friends.

He was dragged out of his daze when Alex a bit too roughly poked his side with his elbow. As he looked at his friend, he could see confusion and a hint of disapprovement in his eyes. The urge to tell him everything and explain that he wasn’t just picking out Lucas for a one night stand was too strong in the moment. So as an answer, he shrugged and walked to the shelves behind them, organizing their collection of whikeys.

Through the rest of the night, he barely saw Lucas. It was almost like he was avoiding him, since it was always just one of his friends coming to them for drinks. He was both glad and upset at that. Glad, because it was easier to hold himself back, controlling his inside monster that just wanted to burst out from the mere presence of the brunette. Upset, because his whole body was craving for the boy so much it was physically hurting him. He could smell him, hear his heartbeat and see his beautiful features in the crowd. This was a torture for sure.

The boys left an hour before closing, dragging a very drunk Basile with them. Emma already bailed a couple hours ago, now swaying and making out with a girl on the dance floor to some shitty techno remix. Most of the people already left the place, the rest was shit faced and close to passing out. Eliott decided to clean up the floor and the counter, while Alex went to say hi to his leaving friends. Just the thought of Lucas walking away from him was painful, but as he looked towards them, his eyes locked with a pair of ocean blue ones. His cheeks were a bit red, caused by the mix of alcohol and dancing. There was something in his gaze that sent shivers down Eliott’s spine, making his body tense up. The boy blinked a couple times, licking his bottom lip yet again, basically driving him crazy with this and focused his attention back to his friends. The three of them gave a short hug to Alex, still holding their wasted buddy in a tight grip before walking out of the door. Taking a part of Eliott with him.

━━━━

Closing went much smoother than Eliott expected. He helped to get the remaining people out of the building and clean up the place, but he could leave earlier since Alex offered to close and take Emma home. She was now sleeping on a comfy couch, that was placed in one of the corners, snorring loudly.

He put on his jacket, shaking hands with his coworker and then stepped outside. The cold breeze of the morning air shook him up a little, helping to get rid of his sleepiness. It was still hard to get used to feeling tired and the need to sleep. His feet was making a crunching sound on the sidewalk as he took a few steps, then he noticed a figure standing a few meters from him, leaning against the wall. He looked over and suddenly he forgot how to breathe.

Lucas was just standing there, his arms crossed, wearing his signature navy blue bomber jacket over that fancy button up shirt. His hair was falling into his face and his eyes were slightly closed. He actually looked like he was sleeping, even his breathing was slow and even, smelling a bit like beer.

He wanted to resist so bad, but it was just impossible. They were alone, people were still sleeping or going home from parties, so the street was nice and quiet. The orange light of the street lamps were casting dark shadows over the beautiful face of the boy. As he too a step towards him, his eyes jerked open and his small body got all tensed. He looked at Eliott half shocked, half surprised.

“Hey.” he said, trying to hit a friendly tone in his voice, which seemed to ease the brunette a little.

“Hey.” his voice was almost a whisper and if Eliott wouldn’t have such sharp ears, he could have missed it.

“Alex will be coming a bit later.” he explained, since there was no other reason for him to be here than waiting for his friend. He saw Lucas was fidgeting with his hands, looking down to his feet before raising his gaze at him again. He was so fucking gorgeous.

“I was actually waiting for you.” he muttered under his breath and Eliott’s blue eyes shot wide, not believing his ears.

“Pardon?”

“I said, I was waiting for you.” he repeated now, looking a bit more confisent, his eyes filled with determination. If Eliott wouldn’t be already head over heels for this boy, well, he would be now.

“And why?” he asked, not being able to hold back the amused grin that creeped up on his face. As a response, he got a shy smile which was the most precious thing he had ever seen.

“I don’t know... I felt like I should do it.” he said honestly, shrugging like it was not a big deal, while it actually was. Eliott knew too well how that felt, because he kept having those feelings around Lucas way too often.

“Well, I am here now.” He was praying to whatever force that took over his brain in the moment, making himself be able to speak in full sentences without stuttering.

“I wanted to apologize.” he started, fingers playing with the zipper of his jacket. “I was a bit rude back then, not introducing myself and pulling away my hand, you know.” he mumbled and he was looking everywhere just to avoid the tall boy’s eyes. Eliott found that extremely endearing.

“No need for that.” his tone was soft, like warm and fresh honey. “You must have had a rough night. I can walk you home if you want.” he offered, not thinking about the consequences of his own words. Once again, his heart was much louder than his sleep deprived brain. Lucas thought about it for a second and his face split into the most heartwarming smile on the world.

“Okay, that sounds good.” he said happily, stepping on the sidewalk now.

ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^ˇ^

It’s finally here! I can’t believe I managed to finish this chapter, it might be a bit short, idk but I HAD TO cut it off here, because cliffhanger and because my brain is too tired to come up with more story atm Enjoy this while you can, I’m going to have a long weekend so I might be able to squeeze out another chapter soon. Make sure to leave feedbacks and don’t hesitate to shoot me with ideas if you want. Bisous

#Skam France #Elu Vampire Soulmate AU #Eliott Demaury #Lucas Lallemant #elu fanfic #Bleeding Hearts #Imane Bakhellal #Le Gang #Idriss Bakhellal #Sofiane Alaoui #Vampire!Eliott #Black haired Eliott #Alexandre Delano

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tommyplum · 4 years

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- eggplant peach question mark | tommy/alfie, modern au for @boundinshallows’ sholomons prompt fest 2019

Tommy is the manager at a liquor distribution outlet, Alfie is the co-owner of a microbrewery. Even with all that booze around they have slow days at work. Luckily, they’ve got their mobiles, and each other.

TXT: Alfie. I'm going out of my mind.

TXT: The temp agency sent me May Carleton of all people to cover for Lizzie while she's on hols and I suspect Lizzie knew beforehand because she's left five separate towers of ancient bills of lading to be entered into the system and filed away which is impossible

TXT: And all we've got open in the back liquor fridge is raspberry sour.

TXT: Talk to me, Alfie, cheer me up. Tell me what you're wearing.

TXT: No, tell me what you WISH you were wearing.

---

alfie

[TXT] And why is May Carleton such an affront, sweetie? Surely she’s as capable as that Lizzie of yours of rolling her eyes at you?

[TXT] My day’s going swimmingly, thanks for asking.

[TXT] And stay away from that bloody raspberry horror. You know what happened the last time you drank it, and I can’t get away today to fetch you out of trouble.

[TXT] But, since you’re curious, I’m wearing jeans and that leopard shirt that you hate.

[TXT] What I’d LIKE to be wearing though, is your mouth. How’s that?

---

tommy

TXT: Because, Alfie, the last time she temped here was at Christmastime and I went down on her in the supply closet.

TXT: I mean 'affront' isn't the word I'd use, more like 'awkward reminder of why I don't drink alcopop anymore'

TXT: The point isn't May's capability, she's more than, it's that Lizzie purposely left her more work than is humanly possible and it's maybe entirely because she wanted to be able to report to the agency that May didn't do all the work she was left.

TXT: Or maybe I'm overthinking.

TXT: Swimmingly? As good as all that? Have you cracked the recipe for that new seasonal lager, then?

TXT: Too late. The raspberry doesn't go as well with tea as the caramel apple did, but it'll do in a pinch.

TXT: Any chance some terrible accident concerning a boiler and a thousand pounds of mash might happen to that leopard shirt? Preferably when you're not in it, but Alfie, I really do hate it so I'm not going to be picky

TXT: Ahhh. My Mr. Solomons is in that sort of a mood right now, is he.

TXT: If I were there with you, I'd be having you with my mouth. With your back pressed up against that machine that drops the hops into the vat.

TXT: There's a machine like that, yes? Anyhow that's where you'd be, backed up against the hop machine. Jeans around your knees, watching me suck you down.

TXT: I've changed my mind this raspberry tastes WONDERFUL with tea

---

alfie

[TXT] Oh, THAT May Carleton. Never cared for her.

[TXT] Hmph. Good on Lizzie, leaving her some work to keep her busy then.

[TXT] You? Overthinking, love? Perish the thought.

[TXT] I was being facetious, Thomas my sweet. Ollie’s off on the sick and that seasonal lager still tastes like gingerbread piss.

[TXT] You are aware, love, that they’re not actually paying you to sample the goods, yeah? And I thought you were swearing off alcopop, lest you start sampling the help next.

[TXT] Thankfully no. It’s safe as houses right here on my back in the office. But your concern is noted and appreciated.

[TXT] Your Mr. Solomons is ALWAYS in that sort of a mood where you’re concerned, pet.

[TXT] That’s what I like to hear.

[TXT] Though you’re a bit more caught up in the machinery than I generally care for, Tommy. Focus, yeah?

[TXT] Right, that’s enough bloody raspberry.

---

tommy

TXT: Because you're horrendously jealous. It was before you and I pinned things down, Alfie. I won't be getting distracted by the temp staff again. May's a good girl.

TXT: Besides which I sent her round a bottle of that Amarula stuff as sort of an apology afterwards and forgot to take off the sample tag so she's been slightly cold to me.

TXT: If you called it Gingerbread Piss you'd be able to make a lot of money in a very specific market. Consider it, Alfie.

TXT: Nobody takes stock of what's open in the back cooler other than me, the manager, and therefore I, the manager, can drink whatever he damn well pleases. I'm not quite an alcoholic but I'm high-functioning and that's the important thing, isn't it.

TXT: My concern is that the leopard shirt go in the bin

TXT: Mmmm. Call me 'pet' again.

TXT: All right, all right, you win -- raspberry tea poured down the bog where it belongs. Now to get back to me sucking your cock, Alfie, I'd cup your balls in my hand and slide my mouth all the way down while you watch. Are you watching, Alfie? You'd better be watching. I don't put on this kind of a show for just anybody.

---

alfie

[TXT] Oi, I’m not horrendously anything. I’m just the right and proper amount of jealous, as it happens, being your man.

[TXT] XD Well, that’s put her off, then. Even those pretty blue eyes of yours pale held up against a sample tag, love. You cheap little arsehole. xD I love it.

[TXT] A /very/ specific market. And not one I’m looking to court professionally.

[TXT] It is something, innit? Though that high functionality takes a bit of a turn depending on what you’re drinking, sweetie.

[TXT] I see. Not for me at all, was it? In danger of industrial accidents? I’d no idea you were so shallow, Thomas.

[TXT] Pet. /My/ little pet, aren’t you?

[TXT] You’d better not. And believe me, love, I’m watching. Watching you look up at me through those long lovely eyelashes as I push my cock deeper into your mouth, making you glug a bit. You know that little noise you make… the one I like so much.

---

tommy

TXT: Yes, dear Alfie. You should indeed be afforded all the privileges that come with being my man, intense jealousy included.

TXT: I used to be better at this. Choosing apology gifts for poorly-planned sexual encounters, I mean. I'm losing my touch.

TXT: Is it terrible that the thought of that makes me sad? I hate losing skillsets, is all.

TXT: If I read into your specific wording of not wanting to court that market PROFESSIONALLY would you accuse me of overthinking again

TXT: or should I invest in some rubber sheets

TXT: I discovered one of those flash-in-the-pan bottles of low-calorie margarita and nobody will miss it. We should drink more margarita, you and I. It's so FESTIVE

TXT: You know precisely how shallow I am, because I've told you time and time again that I didn't listen to a word you said for at least two hours when we first met because all I did was stare at your lips.

TXT: Your little pet, Alfie. Collar me and put me on your leash.

TXT: Your belt will do, in a pinch, come to think of it. I've seen the state of your dog leads. They're not chew toys, you know.

TXT: I do know that noise you get out of me when you're pushing against my tongue with your big thick cock, Alfie, I do. I'm the one making it, aren't I?

TXT: glufrgh

TXT: like that

---

alfie

[TXT] Listen you, intensity is in the eye of the beholder, yeah? I’m no more jealous than I have right to be what with you sticking your tongue in the typing pool on occasion. A man likes to know that what’s his is HIS.

[TXT] Good. Lose it altogether, so far as I’m concerned. Though I can think of a very thoughtful list of gifts to be bought in case of blue balls, should you be in the market for one.

[TXT] I’m going to blame that little bout of ennui on the raspberry. For a piss-artist you really don’t waste any time going in for the maudlin, love.

[TXT] Rubber sheets might have all sorts of practical uses; who am I to say? I don’t run your household, Tommy sweetheart.

[TXT] Bring it back with you to mine tonight. I’ll cook and we’ll be properly festive, just how you want us to be.

[TXT] That’s right; you did! :D And I found that to be a very endearing admission on your part. Unsurprising, given that I am a glorious example of manhood, but endearing all the same.

[TXT] God, love, in a fucking HEARTBEAT.

[TXT] Alright, now, steady on, Cyril is just a natural chewer, yeah? And better he chew on his leads than your poncey little shoes, hm? He remembers how hurtful you got the last time. Don’t think he doesn’t.

[TXT] That noise loses a bit in the written word - but yeah, that’s it. That thick wet wonderful sound of you swallowing down all I’ve got to give you.

[TXT] But go on, what would you do next as I’m fucking that pretty face? Would you have your hand down your trousers, yet?

---

tommy

TXT: At this point in the narrative, Alfie, I'm all yours. Eye of the beholder and tongue from the typing pool and whatever other scattered body parts are making you fret.

TXT: That isn't a threat to leave me high and dry when it comes to sex, is it? Because we both know how well THAT sort of threat turns out.

TXT: I come from a long line of the maudlin and mawkish. Don't make me haul out family histories of who tumbled down wells accidentally-on-purpose and who drank themselves to death in front of the homestead hearth. It's my HERITAGE, Alfie.

TXT: Continue being mean to me and I'll find me a well and boot myself down it. See if I don't.

TXT: Melodramatic announcements also run in the family. Heritage!!

TXT: Also for God's sake Alfie be direct for once, eh? Here I'll make it easy: DO YOU WANT TO PISS IN MY MOUTH

TXT: That would btw go down better than this low-cal margarita. I'm getting a bottle of the good stuff to bring round to yours and we can be just how I want us to be with it.

TXT: I made it up to Cyril, didn't I? Took him for his walks for a sodding fortnight in the worst of the October rain. And I've got nothing against natural chewers seeing as you, my darling glorious example of manhood, share that trait with your mutt.

TXT: Hand down my trousers, yeah. Prick already hard, Alfie, from the time I first got my lips wrapped around you. Making whatever noises you want me to make, all of them for you.

TXT: Want you to cum down my throat so I can taste you for hours after. Sometimes I think I can taste your cum for days, you know. Makes for a strange experience when Ada pops round with new baking and wants my opinion on how her mini cupcakes taste.

TXT: "Like Alfie's spunk, Ada. And white chocolate."

---

alfie

[TXT] Who’s fretting? And was that so bloody hard? It’s hardly my fault that I love you, you bleeding pillock.

[TXT] Sweetie, I would /never/ threaten you with a lack of sex. I mean, let’s be reasonable, yeah? /You’re/ the one who’s basically a human-shaped cat, I’m just looking out for my own lonely interests.

[TXT] Oh yes, here we go, it’s Dylan Thomas and the Shelbys all over again, raging against the dying of the bloody light and taking their sweet sodding time doing it.

[TXT] Mean?! I’m not being mean to you, my sweet lovely boy - bite that forked tongue of yours. This is /teasing/, pet. Because your plaits are the most fun to pull. <3

[TXT] And as far as pissing in your mouth goes, I can’t say as the thought’s never crossed my mind. Have YOU ever considered it? Since you’re the one what brought it up and all. Or is it only the pish of gingerbread men that turns you on, lover?

[TXT] You’re already bloody into it? May’ll be having to pour you into a taxi before the afternoon’s out.

[TXT] But yeah, bring the good stuff. We’ll make a night of it. Just you, me, and the rubber sheets, eh?

[TXT] Seeing as you just called me your darling glorious example of manhood, and it’s made my cock just that little bit harder, I’m going to magnanimously forgive you for calling our boy a mutt.

[TXT] Christ, you know how to make me want you, Tommy. I want you here, on those bony knees of yours, right fucking now.

[TXT] Keep talking about my spunk and how much you love to taste it. You’ll be having it soon enough. Long before your next margarita, my love.

---

tommy

TXT: "I love you, you bleeding pillock". Missed your calling writing Valentine's cards, sunshine.

TXT: I believe these days instead of human shaped cat we're going with bisexual, Alfie. And if you want me to stop being dreary then don't, for the love of God, tell me that you're lonely. It breaks my heart.

TXT: Don't even tease about it. Do you hear me?

TXT: Dip my plaits in ink all you want but never that. I couldn't take it. I do love you, you bleeding pillock. Diversions into supply closets and over-imbibing of suspiciously saccharine drinks notwithstanding.

TXT: And now that we've gotten THAT out of the way, as regards my drinking your piss: I'm considering it NOW, isn't that enough? You're basically a big fucking gingerbread man yourself, Alfie, I don't see a problem

TXT: I'm stopping. I want to be sober enough to get drunk with you.

TXT: Ah, that's how it works, is it? I appeal to your vanity and you forgive me even for slandering our dog? Powerful intel to have, Mr. Solomons. You may live to regret handing me the reins.

TXT: Good, yes, that's how I want you to think of me, down on my knees for you, Alfie, I always am. Even when we're just talking or fucking texting or standing next to each other in the loo cleaning our teeth and eyefucking each other in the mirror. Know that from now on, Alfie: I'm always on my knees.

TXT: Right where I can keep control of you.

TXT: I'm going to suck you off the minute I walk through that door.

---

alfie

[TXT] You’re not a hearts and flowers sort of lad though, are you, my sweet?

[TXT] I’m sorry, pet. I’m not really lonely. Hand on heart, yeah? No teasing at all. I’ve got you, and I know it. No matter how I natter on.

[TXT] Because I do love you too, Tommy.

[TXT] And now I’m left to wonder just what exactly it is that makes me a gingerbread man - and, piss notwithstanding - if that status has any impact on your addictive behaviour toward my semen? Am I sweeter than most, love? Tell me I’m the sweetest you’ve ever had. ;)

[TXT] Good. On both counts.

[TXT] As it happens, being on the receiving end of some decidedly saucy texts from my sweetheart has put me in a rather good mood. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s a given, but I think today it’s enough to leave me in a forgiving sort of mindset.

[TXT] Christ. That’s it. I’m calling it. We’re done for the day.

[TXT] Gather ye margaritas while ye may, mate, because I’m coming to pick you up. RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

[TXT] I’m feeling a bit out of control.

---

tommy

TXT: You've rumbled me there. I'm more of a gin and handjobs sort of lad.

TXT: Good. You bloody better well HAD know it, that you've got me, because I've already cut the tag off you and I won't return you.

TXT: Well, you're a gingerbread man because you've got beady eyes and a gumdrop for a mouth and a great big round head, don't you?

TXT: And you're sweeter than any other I've ever tasted, Alfie, the sweetest of them all. Ask me to be mirror mirror any time and I'll tell you, whenever you like.

[ no reply for about fifteen minutes ]

TXT: I've scored two bottles and given May instructions on closing up and she seems relieved to be rid of me. Come and get me and we'll stop for rubber sheets along the way.

TXT: Don't you worry, Alfie. I've got all the control you'll need.

/end

#peaky blinders fic #alfie solomons #tommy shelby #tolfie #sholomons #sholomonsfest2019 #still plenty of time for ppl to claim prompts!#write fic!#make fanworks!#it's wide open come play!!

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