#one kind night
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who wants to lay on top of me like a weighted blanket and fix me
#i can't use actual weighted blankets bc it feels suffocating but another person? 10/10#not even in any kind of way i just need someone to crush my body back into some sort of shape that is not exhausted and aching#need me a bear hug and a bear to crush me tbh#the cabin will fix me. i will be secluded and alone and get high one of the nights and have smores. i will take stupid nature walks and read
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the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.
the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.
friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.
if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!
what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!
people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.
you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.
your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.
#writeblr#i actually didn't want a girlfriend before nat#and my dad recently said to me - raquel. i don't approve of the promiscuity#1. i am 30.#2. i had casually dated about 4 people over 18 months.#3. i do believe he was just mad that i get more girls than he ever did#i had to look this 60 yr old deacon in the eye and say. okay so i have a girlfriend first of all im just not tellin yall about her#and secondly.#OKAY???? OLD MAN I DONT EVEN LIVE HERE WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT#briefly considered asking nat if i could pretend we were a one night stand kind of a thing
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one thing u can count on me for is being normal about Some Guy
process under cut where u can see me losing my mind trying 2 figure out what i was doing in real time! :3
#mine#cats#original#i started colouring this last night and could NOT . get my brain to work#i like knew the vibes but i couldnt translate that into an actual physical colour palette AOAUGH#but i did kind of pop off w this one ngl. anyway#ive been listening to you cant do that podcast very good very funny hockey girls !!#i do need to listen to a boring white man podcast though so i can get . information . and not just who has been the most cunty nhl player#what else happened today. my tamagotchi evolved ! i love them so much#and i completed sm more crochet blanket! maybe i should post pictures of that bc its going to take years off my life i might as well get#sm clout for it
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A blog about reading and reviewing all book genres.
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ooo buny…
#bnuy#flufy buny#i love him#fanart#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#toby art yo#fnaf 3#kind of??#springtrap#spring bonnie#william afton#its crying child and springtrap on the last one#i just think that he would still love his son and would try to cheer him up Okay im coping
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4: Deranged Bedfellows
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.5)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mdzs au#lan wangji#nie huaisang#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#This is the *first* part of what was supposed to be a much longer comic (LWJ's morning routine in full).#I'll finish the remaining part as a reblog to this post! I just think this is the funnier chunk.#Lan Wangji absolutely is the kind of person who has a perfect internal alarm clock for when it is time to get up.#He already has a dedicated sleep schedule. He is accurate within 10 seconds of 5am every day.#I think the Jiang disciples are most likely used to waking up around 6:00-7:00am#But the allure of having a guaranteed time keeper getting you up in the morning is worth the earlier hour.#I imagine they started outside lwj's door and slowly moved closer as the weeks went on.#Now LWJ has to cope with being way too warm in the night from all the extra body heat.#LWJ is not a fan of this but they scamper off immediately after he wakes up and they at least show initiative to follow routine.#NHS joins in only because he is a chronically heavy sleeper and needs this level of intervention to get up early.#His boldness would be a death sentence in the cloud recesses but here? Whole new game.#Yungmeng Jiang isn't a lawless land. It's just a land with different laws.#And one of those laws is to forcefully domesticate the catboy coded Lan boy through any means necessary.#Completely different tangent: I drew the thumbnail for this before I did comic 134. I then realized they had the same visual gag.#So I had to space this one out so it didn't seem like I repeated the waking up joke. That's my secret and all of you have to keep it.#And in my land the law is that snitches get itches (telepathically transfers hives onto your body)
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was drunk at my friend's place yesterday and her bf was given some throwing knives, played around for a bit and i still got it 🧐 that was my last push to get back into knife throwing, haven't been into it since i was 17/18 lol. i ordered these ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა
edit: if ur here from my top posts you can see me throw them here!
#throwing knives is so fun...#i do the no spin technique and he was tryna see if i was as accurate by having me move back and he was like ur scary 💀#“you're so accurate and u don't have to calculate the distance for the spin to make it stick‚ u can just go straight for it frm anywhere”#i sure can buddy. I'm gonna get even better at it thanks 👍🏾#briefly considered a foot long throwing spike but feel like i cannot be given that kind of destructive power#i am going to obliterate something that is an outdoors toy 💀#i can make it stick most of the time but we drew little targets and pictures on a board and i could hit the smaller ones w mixed results#i wanna hit bullseye 🎯#my favorite flexes from last night were the times where Id throw the second knife in the same spot as the first n knock the old one down 😈
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i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing
and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him
he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)
meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh
just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap
soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”
imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”
#he a little confused but he got the spirit#its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right#or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it#i love just completely oblivious ghost#in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room#he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone#but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost#ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like#bc hes never seen a pussy before#it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to#hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say#then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like ‘why arent you in any of these i only see girls’#and he just goes ‘hang on a second’#soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis#but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes#and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc ‘thats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smart’#just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod
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Do you know this queer character?
Saber is Transgender, Nonbinary, Bisexual and Polyamorous, and uses she/her pronouns!
#oh boy this is a rough one lol#tldr; creator said he views her as transgender (kind of indirectly though) but also that she's her own gender#and the bisexuality is dubious at best but i think it checks out#feel free to yell at me though#saber fate#saber artoria#artoria pendragon#fate series#fate stay night#fate/stay night#tumblr polls#fandom polls#poll#transgender#nonbinary#bisexual#polyamorous#she/her#video game#visual novel#anime#manga#lgbtqia#do you know this queer character
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Starting off the new year with I think the most background heavy piece I've ever made!
I think Rainwings and Nightwings would celebrate their traditional holidays together after the events of The brightest night. So this drawing is meant to show their cultures kind of blending together during a very joyful time.
I remember talking about this concept with someone on tumblr a year ago but when I went back through my posts I couldn't for the life of me find it - so if your reading this, I remember you and this drawing stems from that conversation so thank you!
Close-ups:
#They are celebrating the brightest night that's why there's so much moon symbolism in the decorations#I hope I translated my thoughts well enough so you can get the vibe of their celebration#I was split between drawing a tree glows from the lights that were hung up upon it#or a night rave with neon lights#because I think those two situations would result from blending nightwing and rainwing cultures together#also I wanted to show this like organised chaos of the different decoration styles of both rainwings and nightwings on the tree#Moon and Kinkajou are there too!#also you don't see the spearmaster looking nightwing#it just kind of came out looking like them? by accident#continuing my weird obsession with drawing giant trees I have to draw one every year so I might as well just check that now#wings of fire#wof#nighwing#rainwing#moonwatcher wof#kinkajou wof#dragon#art#cinnamon's doodles
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"sunshine twins" suits han and felix so well but I feel like in very different ways for both of them. like felix is a sunny day when you're hanging out with your friends at the park and you can't remember ever being sad while han is when the sun comes out after it's been cloudy for a week and you finally feel your bad mood lifting a little because no matter how sad you get the world is still a beautiful place
#anywaysssss#usually I save these kind of posts for the middle of the night when no one's online to see me be embarrassing#but I'm feeling chatty today 😌#skz
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I’m having an ‘oh’ moment while you bandage my hand, man
MY THOUGHTS FOR THIS ONE ARE IN THE TAGS :)
#steddie#steddie fanart#eddie munson#steve harrington#its late.. or early depending how you look at it#neither of them have been sleeping much or spending time on their own#the nightmares you know#an especially brutal one has eddie a little out of it#his bandages (from injuries that could have been worse) have become loose or soiled from his restless night#so steve sits him down and helps fix them up#he can see eddies still shaken so he just.. talks#about anything really#and eddie slowly comes back to himself#and now he’s just looking at steve.. who’s huffing out a laugh at whatever he’s said.. smiling at the memory of it#eyes crinkling at the corners and thats when it kind of hits#the ‘oh’#not an ‘oh shit’ this time but a simple ‘oh’#a happy one for now too#because he is.. happy. he’s not alone.. he doesn’t have to be.. and Steve’s showing him that#through late night talks.. matching dark circles and grounding touches#with stories and music and late night drives#and thats enough.. more than really#he’s at the tipping point.. knows the fall will be coming in the next few weeks- maybe months#but he doesn’t care#not when steve finally looks up at him… wide eyed and cradling eddies hand between two of his.. soft smile on his face and asks ‘you ok?’#and when eddie (who’s a little misty eyed) smiles back and replies ‘all good’#right here.. in this moment- he really is#:)#THANKS FOR VOTING FOR IT
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fancy date
#one piece#vinsmoke sanji#roronoa zoro#fem sanji#fem zoro#zosan#fem zosan#some kind of modern au i guess?#i just wanted to draw some fancy women on fancy night#its good for mental health so you know
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robin cross and kevin day parallels actually go so crazy. they both spent their formative years in a basement underground with exy-obsessed captors. they both saw exy as freedom. they both were isolated even within the foxes’ group of outcasts. they were both under andrew’s protection. it cost kevin jean to leave the nest and it cost robin another girl’s life to escape her kidnapper. robin carried her racquet with her to self-soothe and kevin restrings the net of his when he’s anxious. they’re even bird coded
#to those unfamiliar the word robin is also a kind of little bird 🕊���#i dont ship them but i dont blame the people who do if im honest#BUT ITS JUST CRAZY TO MEEE#its so fucked that canonically kevin never gets to meet her#but i will say that the echoes of his presence are still there#she joins the foxes the year after kevins graduation and there andrew is taking robin to night practice#there he is coaching her because he knows exy is the tool she needs to believe in herself#there he is doing what kevin day told him only years late 🫠#sorry they make me insane#robin when she’s the weird kandreil amalgamation no one asked for#will expand on this if i have more thoughts later but please talk to me about robin. thank you#txt#aftg#kevin day#robin cross#kevin#robin#fav#kevin&robin
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#dnd#dungeons and dragons#aesthetic#fashion#ocs#from a song called 'One More Hallelujah' by Welshy Arms#u dont know it probably but the lyrics is...just right#:)#not me posting this kind of content after the incredible one from last night#i'm sorry we're getting back to the campaign tomorrow n i've been blorbing all over the place#ideal summer spent between mars and comms and mars and comms and m
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it’s the “Danny works for the Justice League” again but even more wonky:
Danny Fenton is but a simple engineer/ghost expert man
Phantom is but a simple ghostly hero
The Ghost King is but a simple “evil” monarch
so o’course Phantom gets called to protect Danny from the Ghost King
but you know that part where the story expanded so Dani was Danny and the Ghost King’s daughter?
and the Justice League thinks Danny was married to the Ghost King because of the Ring of rage that he can’t take off? so they think he still holds a torch?
Right.
Then, after the “truth” come out, the JL calls Phantom like “did you know about this??”
and he can’t just confirm it or deny it, it would be giving away precious info that doesn’t exist and he doesn’t have
Phantom is so obtuse about it that the JL assumes he is avoiding the topic because he objected to the wedding was in love with Danny
“Remember that time Phantom fought the Ghost King? Think maybe it had to do with this? and Danny was like Persephone?”
But then people begin making connections between Dani and Phantom and how they look similar, almost the same
So the people begin to think that Danny cheated on the Ghost King and that is why he’s “after him”
Dani is vibing the chaos, everyone knows she wants to be with her three fathers and rooting for poly, if only they all could meet and talk it out
“Communication is important, Dad,” she says with an innocent grin, “Pops said so.”
Cue meddling heroes conspiring to make the three-- totally different entities, not at all just one person-- do exactly that.
bonus: “What’s the JL thinking?”
danny looking uncomfortable = he is feeling guilty + he is torn
phantom wanting the JL to “leave it alone” + always going “i have to go” or “it doesn’t matter” when the topic comes up = defensive and resigned to unrequited
the ghost king being surprisingly quiet = disappointed and heartbroken + still has feelings and can’t actually do harm + menacingly + wants visitation rights
#i was laughing as i wrote#dp x dc#yo danny fenton he was kind of a hoe when he had a one night stand with the hero of his town#batman: i would expect this of constantine#john: hey!#maybe they find out more history#fixed my grammar some don't mind that#fake romcom au
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