#one does not fuck around with boars
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Andrew: are you alright?
North: oh, you know, haven't slept in 6 days, but otherwise I'm doing good.
Angus: *promptly knocks him out with North's book about Scottish plants*
@winterwrites23 I am. so so so in love with the new chapter :D
#hetalia#SoT#SoT incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes#Outlander AU#hws northern ireland#angus has now formed a 'saving killoughs ass is a full-time job' club with hamish#we got more present content AND magic lore??#AND more lore on the ocs#we're getting fed GOOD#also i lowkey forgot mr reid was even there so reading about him talking to mairead was a really terrifying jumpscare#also wdym north got into a duel with a LITERAL BOAR#one does not fuck around with boars#i once saw one kill its own kid?? when i was in a zoo in germany#anyway i have many thoughts about the chapter but difficulty putting them into words#so all in all 10 outta 10 good job love it#ahjdfdk aaa#<3
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i just really, really love the idea of zoro having no real "survival skills" because he had a much more traditional (if atypical) childhood/youth than most of the crew. bandit heritage aside, he was raised in a tight-knit and relatively peaceful community with (at best) agricultural outskirts. he doesn't leave until he's much older, at which point he becomes a bounty hunter as a way to make money (to pay for food, shelter, etc. presumably in villages, towns, and cities). we know from the non-canon johnny and yosaku backstories that he "hunted" for bounties in cities/towns, at least partially.
meanwhile luffy has been running around the wilderness since he was like seven years old, securing his own food, building fire and shelter, and just generally toughening up/learning how to live in nature. we know he had a pretty extensive knowledge of bugs and how to catch them, so with that + his childhood i don't think it's a stretch to assume he also has an understanding of edible plants and non-monstrous wildlife (even if its not all applicable outside the East Blue). he's survived on his own in the wilderness for years at a time at least twice in canon.
i think it's fun to think of them having... some sort of "zoro is lost in more ways than one" kinda vibe early on in their journey, especially since they're constantly broke pre-timeskip and we know that at least by little garden the crew has started hunting and foraging to supplement their stores. you could absolutely rope the rest of the east blue grew into this, but zoro is still sort of the outlier with his background.
i dunno. maybe i just like the image of luffy trying to teach zoro how to hunt or fish and both of them just having the dumbest time with it. luffy would be really earnest but impatient--and zoro would be stubborn about admitting he doesn't know shit but would still listen and absorb anyway.
luffy having no clue how to start small and work up to new skills, so they end up going after massive wild boars or something as a first or second lesson and zoro just rolls with it because sure, yeah, thats normal. what the hell does he know? (and also hes fucking. zoro. so.)
or luffy teaching zoro to fish normally but also like a bear fishes (standing knee-deep in the water and catching fish with his bare hands) because it looks more fun that way and he cant. and zoro just fucking up soooo bad but getting really competitive anyway, even though luffy is just, like, sitting on a nearby rock yelling (frankly terrible) directions at him or something. zoro catches nothing and luffy tells him he looks stupid getting angry at the river so of course zoro is going to master fucking. bare-handed fishing because the man's got one braincell and its 99% stubborn pride.
he fucking sucks at starting a fire, wouldnt even consider building proper shelter, and in general would not make it 0.2 seconds outside a populated environment without his captain--a guy raised by the jungle and ace, who was basically a wild animal himself.
idk. survival-competent luffy is very near and dear to my heart.
#not really a country/city dynamic because its like... not that. but luffy is basically the east blue les stroud and thats so funny to me#a bear grylls kinda guy#which is to say nothing of their differences in formal education#dunno if ill write another fic about it but its like... the other side of math/bilingual zoro headcanons to me#i think about this more often than i should tbh#zolu#gyro.txt
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“Didn’t mean to make your heart Blue” || [7/…]
— OPLA! Buggy x F!Reader
“It's funny how I still forgot, it would be a hundred times easier if we were young again,”
— Mitski, “Two Slow Dancers”
Pairing: Buggy the Clown (Live Action) x F!Reader
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 8
Summary: You were an apprentice of Gol D. Roger’s crew in your youth, long before his eventual demise. Along with the Red-Haired Shanks and Buggy, you were a formidable trio; the embodiment of a new generation of pirates yet to come. But times changed, and so did you and your friends.
In the aftermath of your drunken escapades, you wake up to find yourself faced with new challenges, including a killer headache, a group of fish people, and the very clown responsible for putting you in this position. Needless to say, it does not bode well to take on fights while still inebriated.
Warnings: Canon typical violence, fem!reader, LA!Verse, slight canon divergence, alcoholic indulgence on a catastrophic scale (drink responsibly ppl), morally grey reader, violence, descriptions of blood and wounds,
A/N: The next chapter will be fully dedicated to Buggy and Reader/"Cross Hairs"
"Chug, chug, chug!" Both Buggy and Shanks cheer you on as you all but inhale the contents in your bottle in one go, not stopping until all of it has gone down. You pull back with an audible inhale, and after a couple of quiet seconds, the loudest BUUUURP! ever to cross the oceans erupt from the pits of your stomach.
Your two crewmates watch in awe, then erupt into hard fits of laughter that have them rolling on the ground while clenching their stomach.
After pumping your fists victoriously into the air and discarding the bottle, you join them soon after and settle down around the campfire. You three barely managed to put one together, but with the help of a few thin twigs and a bottle of the captain's purest liquor, you got it going soon enough.
Buggy wipes the tears away from his eyes and pulls another bottle of stolen beverages from his bag. "Not bad, not bad at all. Still, listen to this."
Jumping to his feet, Buggy swings the bottle, takes a glorious gulp, and punches his chest a few times. Out comes a large BUUUURP! that surpasses yours by miles, and continues to echo from around the island.
You immediately raise your hands in applause, laughing in that sweet way that makes his pulse quicken. In truth, your laughter is hardly elegant, more like the sounds a dying boar makes, yet he enjoys it all the same.
With one arm straightened out whereas the other goes to his chest, he makes a dramatic bow in front of you across the fire. "Thank you, thank you, my fair lady. I'll be here all day."
When he straightens up again, he sees the fire shine so clearly in your eyes; the flames dancing in your irises, and he feels warmer than the fire itself. You're looking at him - him - with such adoration that his stomach feels funny. Maybe it's the liquor playing a part in this, yet he doubts it.
"Buggy, that was so gross!" Shanks says with mirth, then gestures for the bottle. "Give it here! I'll show you how it's really done."
"Sure, I'd like to see you try!" Buggy hands him the bottle.
"There's no way you can surpass that, Shanks." You oppose lightly. "No fucking way."
"Yeah, watch me!"
Shanks takes a generous portion, pats his stomach, and out comes yet another BUUURP!
Sure, it's impressive enough, but nowhere near Buggy's, and the redhead acknowledges this with a defeated sigh before anyone even says anything.
"It's alright," Buggy severs his hand to pat him patronizingly on the back. "You tried. Imitation is the highest form of flattery, you know?"
Shanks pushes his hand away with a grin. "Oh, lay of it!"
The night continues like that, with some more drinking, some more burping contests, and sharing their thoughts on the latest endeavors of the Oro Jackson. Whenever the crew docked for a while someplace, the three of you would usually find some way to enjoy your time off away from the crew's supervision like this.
It also involves the three of you singing sea shanties together, arms hooked around each other as you sing at the top of your lungs:
"Gather up all of the crew,
It's time to ship out Bink's brew.
Pirates we, eternally,
Are challenging the seas!"
It is just fun; three teenagers enjoying their teenage years to the fullest until the day they can venture on their own.
After a while, Buggy starts to feel his bladder press, probably from the liquor. He tries to ignore it at first, not wanting to miss anything, but it does not take long before he has to oblige with his body's request.
You're the first to notice him moving. "Where are you going, Buggy?"
He waves his hand dismissively. "Just got to take a piss."
"Don't go too far," Shanks adds with a twinge of mischief in his eyes. "I've heard there are boars on this island, don't want to get chased, do you?"
Buggy feels chills run up his arms, but he refuses to acknowledge it. "S-Shut it! There aren't any shitty boars here, or we'd see them by now!"
"Yeah, but I've also heard that they catch the smell of piss particularly strong,"
"Bullshit!" He trudges off. "Boars, my ass!"
"Be careful, Buggy!" you call after him.
The chills across his body immediately get replaced with a sense of pride, and he disappears to do his business with a smile.
Once he's finished and headed back, he can hear your soft laughter as he approaches the makeshift campsite. His heart nearly drops into his stomach when he sees what's going on.
You and Shanks are sitting closer together now, knees width apart, and you're laughing. Shanks just told a joke, a terrible joke that makes even Buggy cringe, yet you laugh all the same.
That soft laughter, just not for him this time.
It shouldn't make him feel as shitty as it does, yet a nauseous feeling settles in the pits of his stomach. You and Shanks are crew mates and friends, just as he is. He's never caught onto any implications that you like him in that sense, but why does it sting so much then to watch the two of you like this? So close, so at ease, so carefree and soft.
He often thinks about the time you saved him, about the time you brought an entire crew down just for him. You held his hand, you were worried; he’s been thinking that maybe there’s something there that isn’t just in his imagination.
But, wouldn’t you have done the same thing for Shanks, too? Has he maybe mistaken camaraderie for something else? Something that's not there?
Buggy suddenly feels ill, and he can’t blame it on the alcohol this time.
He thinks that it makes sense, in a way that gives his deep-rooted insecurity a boost. Shanks has always been the better of the two; a natural leader, calm in battle, and strategic in the ways that he himself is unable to be.
Meanwhile, Buggy is ... Well, just Buggy.
Buggy with the weird, red, enlarged nose people always make fun of.
Buggy, who can never seem to pull off the same stunts as successfully as Shanks can.
Buggy, who cracks the worst kinds of jokes that oftentimes make people laugh more out of pity than genuine humor.
You always laugh at them, laugh with him, but maybe he’s been mistaken there too?
It's obvious that Shanks is the better choice. Buggy would follow him anywhere, and he'd follow you anywhere, yet the thought of you following Shanks whereas Buggy trails behind the both of you like a stray puppy just feels ...
"Ah, there you are." Your voice snaps him out of his head as you wave him over. "You didn't come across any boars, did you?"
It takes him a moment to respond, and when he does, it's nothing grand. His voice has been reduced to a demure murmur as he steps closer to the fire. "No, there is nothing."
"You sure?" Shanks asks with a grin. "Thought I heard some noises back there!"
For some reason, Buggy snaps "IT'S NOTHING!"
His outburst evidently catches the both of you off-guard.
"Buggy, are you al—?"
"I'm fine." He's not. "But we should head back before the captain instigates a damn search party for us. We've probably been out too long."
He turns his back to you and starts heading in the direction you came from, and he feels his chest tighten so fucking much it makes breathing hard. He tries to tell himself it's not what he thinks, but at the same time, that nagging whisper in the back of his head that always stalks him is incessant.
"It makes sense," it whispers. "After all, it's never you."
———
"What in the hell is the matter with you?"
It takes you several minutes to force your eyes open. You're in the restaurant, you uncover, lounging over a table with a thin napkin serving as the only cushion for your cheek.
By some miracle, you manage to aim your eyes up from behind your arms and see Zeff standing there with his hands on his hips, like an angry grandfather of sorts.
"Zeff," you groan and heave a tired breath. Fuck, your head is killing you, as though a hamster wheel has found residence in your cranium. "It's too early for this."
"It's almost eleven o'clock, the sun is up."
"Still too early,"
"Heard you practically robbed the bar last night; the bill is through the damn roo-"
Before he gets to finish, you dig into the pocket of your pants and pull out a hefty pouch of berries on the table. A few spill out on the wooden surface, clinking. "Just take this as compensation and give me another bottle while you're at it."
Zeff looks at the pouch, does a mental count, and finally takes it after deciding that it's enough. "Huh, thought that scrawny chore boy was broke?"
"They are." You turn to let your chin rest on the table, giving you a little better view than before. "But I did have a pension plan before I retired. Keep it with me when it counts."
Zeff sighs and pockets the berries without complaint, but not before giving you an unimpressed one-over. You're happy you don't carry a mirror with you; probably look like shit, and you feel like shit, too. Your hangover could've been considerably worse, but at this moment in time, you'd prefer it if you went to sleep and didn't wake up for another twenty years or so.
"What the hell is going on with you, lass?" Zeff finally asks, and this time, he retains some of his usual roughness.
"Nothing ..." you murmur.
His bushy eyebrows scrunch. "I've been working at this place for almost a decade, seen people at their worst. People down on their luck, people who've lost, people who've grieved."
"And?"
"And I'll tell you something, lass. No one looks quite as damn destroyed as someone who's had their hearts broken."
The hamster wheel comes to a screeching halt, and you abruptly sit up to glare at him. "I'm not heartbroken. Why does everyone insist on that?"
His lips tug into a halfway smirk like he's just caught a fish on his hook. "You're strong, I'll give you that much, but no one's above the loss of love. So, who was the bloke?"
"No one," you almost spit, narrowing your eyes.
Zeff remains undeterred, even a little proud. "Couldn't have been a 'no one' if they managed to capture the interest of the Beast of the East, can they?"
You bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from lunging at the old man for even insinuating that someone - specifically him - has managed to put you in such a sorry state. You won't give the Chief the satisfaction.
With some herculean effort on your part, you take a deep breath and recline in your seat. Quietly, without looking at the chief, you order: "Three beers and today's lunch."
Zeff shrugs. "Fine, but after, you should check on your crew. That swordsman really took a hit,"
Right, Zoro challenged Mihawk to a fucking duel, and the memories come flooding back to you. You glance up at that chief, masking the underlying concern with a face of indifference. "He alive?"
"Yes and no. If you want to know, go see for yourself."
You nod, and he leaves you to stir your hangover. Maybe it was a mistake to get as shitfaced as you did, but that doesn't change the fact that you tried to keep them from making mistakes. You did what you were supposed to, yet still, why does it feel like this is your fault?
You've grown fond of the crew, and it's become more of a headache than you initially bargained for.
The waiter comes with your order on a plate, not Sanji this time, you discover. In fact, he's nowhere to be seen.
Without wasting your breath, you immediately dig into your meal like a woman starved of sustenance. It tastes delicious, but the residue of yesterday's liquor on your tongue dilutes the taste. You don't care, though.
Shortly after finishing half a portion of your lunch, you resume with your bottles. A slower pace this time, to ensure that your current condition doesn't significantly worsen, but still fast enough to keep you from remembering.
Remembering too much.
Half a bottle into your stupor, the entrance doors slam open and a pang of pain burst through the nerves in your brain. All you can think is that it's way too early for someone to be stirring shit up.
A round of gasps echoes through the establishment, and when you peek up from over your shoulder, you see three fish people making their entrance from the top of the staircase.
You've had your share of encounters with fish people in the past, some more ... tolerable than the rest. In hindsight, there's no difference between the way you treat people; if they get on your nerves, you deal with them. If they don't, you leave them be.
Your instincts tell you that these people will fall into the former category.
However, you notice that the one with the sharp nose looks awfully familiar, but your temporary amnesia might have something to do with the alcohol circling in your veins. Still, it's not a face that's easy to forget.
A few people try to get up from their seats, but with a simple, "Sit down!", they comply.
You narrow your eyes at the spectacle but don't move to get away. As long as he doesn't bother you, there's no reason for you to get involved. Baratie's had worse customers before, so this is nothing new. Zeff'll handle it like he always does.
So, you continue with your drinks, already annoyed and in desperate need of the numbing sensation only the bottle can provide. Zeff appears to deal with it, and it doesn't pique your interest until the fish man proclaims:
"Listen up! I'm looking for a pirate in a straw hat! Goes by the name of Luffy."
Now this catches your attention mid-sip.
You look at the particular fish man discreetly over your shoulder, your sobriety making a quick return once you discover that you do know of him. He's Arlong the Saw; a misanthrope who makes a living killing humans.
"Arlong," he said moments ago to Zeff. "I own the East Blue."
You don't know why he's after Luffy, and quite frankly, you don't care. With your fucking luck, he's after the map, too.
He can pretend to own the seas all he wants, but what matters to you is that he won't get to the boy, and it's something that Zeff seems on board with if his negotiation tactics mean anything.
So, in silence, you continue with your drinking, content with laying low until one of Arlong's henchmen - one with black hair tied up on each side of his head - appears at your side.
He leers over your shoulder, the stench of seawater evading your nostrils, and reaches for one of your bottles.
"Hope you don't mind sharing," he chuckles, and for some reason, this gesture pisses you off.
You're not in the fucking mood.
Before his hand can as much as graze the bottle's fine surface, you grip the back of his shirt and all but fling him back from whence he came. The sound of a table breaking behind you interrupts the eerie quietness that's befallen the other patrons, and you get up from your seat to glare at the other fish people.
"Fucking get lost," your voice rings out like an ominous warning across the air of the establishment, rendering everyone mute. Well, everyone except for Arlong, who proceeds to laugh heartedly at the spectacle whereas his other henchman quickly moves to aid his fallen colleague.
"Well, well, who do we have here?" He stands up from the table, two sharp rows of teeth reflecting the light from the restaurant as he grins. "If it ain't the Beast of the East, in the flesh." He tilts his head to the side. "I was expecting someone ... younger."
"I'm retired."
"So I've heard, but someone else seems to think otherwise."
"Well, this 'someone else’ must’ve been mistaken."
"No, no," he wags his 'finger?'. "You see, he was quite adamant that you're back in business. If that is the case, I am owed tribute for the stunts you've pulled."
You quirk an eyebrow, so lowly that it hardly seems to move at all. "Tribute?"
"Half of whatever plunder you acquired during the years you were active," he waves his hand. "And half of what you've acquired as of late."
Capitalism, truly. Seems that not even fishmen can deny its pull.
Your answer is simple.
"No."
Arlong's grin shapes into a snarl quite easily. "You may have the highest bounty, but it is still I who own the East Blue."
"The sea belongs to no one," you counter sharply. "Not me, and certainly not you."
It's clear that he perceives this as a slight in the highest degree if the downward tug of his lips serves as an indication. "Do you even know who I am?"
"I don't care who you are." Your fist clenches into a tight knot that almost draws blood as you stare him down from across the room; two beasts in their own respective ways.
"I'm Arlong the Saw."
"More like Arlong the Nailfile." This earns you a growl you're not nearly sober enough to worry about. "Look, I don't care who you are, and I don't care why you're here. The point is, you're not wanted."
You glance over at Zeff. For once, in the time you've known him, he's cautious but allows you to get your words across.
Arlong does not share the same sentiments. "When I learned that Cross-Hairs was here, I expected a woman with fists of irons and eyes sharp as knives. However, all I seem to be presented with is an old captain who does not know how to hold her liquor. It's pathetic, even by human standards."
This time, you're not vocal about your rather ... brutally honest opinions about him. Without breaking eye contact, you reach for your bottle and take a hefty swing from it. It all goes down without pause, and once it's gone, you put it back with enough force to permanently dent the table. Zeff'll be pissed.
Arlong snorts at the display. "I'm not here for you specifically. The boy, Luffy, where is he?"
"Never heard of him,"
"I don't quite believe that."
"Not my problem."
Arlong tilts his head to the side, almost condescendingly. "My informant knows otherwise."
"Your informant seems to know a lot of things," you say, dangerously low. "If you tell me who they are, and I'll pay them a visit myself to set the record straight,"
He chuckles. "There's no need for a visit. He's already here, and he's famished." He snaps his jaws to a nearby table, scaring the patrons into fleeing. "But I don't need the meals from the menu to quench my hunger."
You glance over at the other patrons, seeing the fear in their eyes reflect the light above. You've seen it before; you used to see it back when you were still Captain of the Cross-Haired Pirates. People used to quake at the sound of your footsteps, and whisper among themselves. in fear of evoking your wrath.
Back in the day, you lived up to your reputation. You didn't necessarily enjoy installing fear into people's hearts, but it was a means to an end. You were angry, and all that anger manifested itself in the way you acted as a captain. All that fighting, all that beating, all that rage.
Now, when you see the patrons acting like a herd of sheep, you can't help but feel like you're back there. But they're not afraid of you, not this time.
You look back at Arlong. "Find your meal someplace else."
He growls and steps closer. "I'm telling you this, Cross-Hairs, one beast to another. You may be strong, but we both know that you're not strong enough to take me on. Fish men are superior to humans in every single way. Stronger, faster, —"
He gets close enough to grab for your hand and lift it, his face a breath's width from your own. You can smell the stench of salt on him, of raw meat. "— Hungrier. Wouldn't you agree?"
In a flash, you grip your other hand around his wrist, fingers digging into his flesh until you can find the corners of his joints. You relish in the pained expression that crosses his face.
"You're not a beast," you say, not raising your voice a pitch. "You're vermin."
Arlong parts his jaws when the doors to the Baratie burst open.
"Which one of you is Arlong?"
You snap your attention to the top of the staircase, and your face drains. Fuck, it's Luffy. Why's he here?
"Who's asking?" Arlong asks, his grip around yours remains tight.
"I'm Monkey D. Luffy. I hear you're looking for me."
Once Luffy descends the stairs, Arlong lets go of you and turns to face the younger opponent. You watch with mild impressiveness as Luffy faces the bigger fish man, and you have to grant him that, he doesn't exhibit an ounce of fear.
"How'd you find me anyway?" Luffy finally asks.
Arlong snickers. "An old friend helped track you down."
Then, you watch as the big-lipped fish man pulls something out from his bag and it's ... and it's ...
"Heya, Straw Hat! Did you miss me?"
It's fucking Buggy!
Your heart skips several beats before it remembers to start pumping again. He's here. You thought Orange Town would be the last time you saw him, but he's really here. Truth be told, he looks worse for wear; his make-up is all smudged, a bruise forming on the right side of his cheek, and he's been dowsed in seawater.
But it's him. It's him.
Buggy's eyes glance over at you, and the smile that was previously there gets momentarily replaced with an expression you can't precisely pinpoint. "Hey, there," he says, surprisingly demure. "how's it going?"
You're not nearly sober nor coherent enough to reply.
"Burpy?" Luffy asks surprised. "What are you doing here?"
"Believe me it wasn't my first choice either, but these fine fishy folk persuaded me to point them in the right direction, which ain't easy when you don't have any hands."
"How'd you even know how to find me?"
"I told you, I got eyes and ears everywhere."
To your horror, you watch as an ear pulls itself out of Luffy's hat and attaches to the clown's head. That ear was there all along, which means ...
"You were listening all along?" Luffy cradles his hat. "You heard everything?"
Everything, you think to yourself as you feel the blood drain from your face. He heard everything, everything you'd said to Luffy, everything about your whereabouts. Every—
"Everything," Buggy answers. "And that got old quick, 'cause you shidiots got no idea what you're doing. Hey, Lips!" He turns his head sideways to face the fish man who's just returned from aiding his colleague. "How about a scratch behind the old ear, huh?"
"Sorry, honey."
You don't know what compels you, but something fierce does. An animalistic instinct settled in the marrow of your bones, rampant with rage and assertiveness. When the fish man grabs a hold of Buggy and puts him in the bag, you feel the need to get him out. Free him.
You were friends with him once, something even more from your side long ago, and you've tried to kill each other on at least one occasion. Still, that piece of you that remains in your youthhood demands that you get to him before anyone else.
The conversation that takes place between Luffy and Arlong doesn't register with your ears, as all you can focus on is him. Before you know it, the sound of gunshots echoes through the restaurant, and a fight erupts between Luffy's crew and Arlong's.
Truth be told, it all flashes in front of you like pictures from a movie you've seen. All you can recall, with the alcohol still flooding through your veins, is the feeling of flesh between your digits, the sound of cries and painful moans from Arlong's henchpeople as you force them to the side, and the pure adrenaline that muddles all your thoughts of ration.
Before Arlong can even hope to make a grasp at Luffy, you're there to deflect his claws with your wrist. The impact pushes his hand several inches away from your skin, and without a moment's notice, you strike him in the middle of his sternum.
He's knocked several feet back and into a nearby pillar, not enough to completely knock him out, but enough to keep him away if only for a few moments.
He laughs, his teeth bleeding from the gums. "The Beast of the East. I was wondering when I'd finally get to meet you."
You don't say a word, with the primitive instincts overwhelming your rational ones. In a second, you lunge for him, your hand aimed towards his head. Someone, most likely yourself, must have miscalculated because as much as you intend to hit him and maim him and strike him, the most prominent sense that strikes you is not the feeling of blood under your knuckles.
It's pain.
You're in pain.
Arlong manages to hit you with his clawed fingers. The sharp feeling of something piercing the side of your abdomen through your clothes causes an eerie feeling of hurt. You gasp and bend to your knees, clutching your side. Blood paints your palm as you withdraw it. You're bleeding. Fuck, you're actually bleeding. It's not a light cut either, it's several ones, an inch deep each, and they're bleeding profusely.
When was the last time you bled like this?
The collision between your head and something hard knocks you back before you can even hope to register your state properly. The floorboards leave stinging burns across your lower back until a pillar cushions your fall.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
"A pity, truly." Arlong taunts, towering over you. "My informant seemed so confident in your skills. How disappointed he’ll be, seeing you crawl like a maggot on the floor."
You know this is a fight you cannot win, not as you are right now, but you don’t care. Pure spite motivates you to do your worst, even if it’s all for naught.
An act produced from pure adrenaline, you jump back to your feet and prepare to pounce at him. An outstretched hand — Luffy's — beat you to it and preoccupied the fish man in the nick of time. He's pulled away from your reach before you can hope to get him, and a familiar feeling of bloodlust in your veins awakens to life after its hibernation.
Hot, boiling.
You want to kill him.
Maim him.
Crush him until his bones break.
Feel the warmth of his blood coat your fingers as you dig into his body, through veins and arteries and flesh.
You want him dead.
Suddenly, you catch it from your peripheral vision. A bag on the floor that's currently being tossed back and forth amid all the fighting like a ball of yarn between two quarreling cats. A string of curses erupts from the fabric.
He's still here, you remember. Buggy is still here.
You have the option to leave him at the mercy of the fight between the Straw Hats and Arlong, but something in your body won't let it. Call it instinct, call it sentiment, but you move towards it all the same. Before any man can even touch the surface of the bag, you lunge for it like a flash of light.
Grabbing the top of the old fabric, you all but yank it from the floor and maintain him in the steady grip of both your hands.
"Hey, hey!" the voice in the bag calls. "Keep me out of this!"
"Shut up!" You shout back.
The voice immediately quiets down. In the middle of the fight, while you cling to the bag like a sacred object, you can hear him call your name several times, though you don’t answer.
You cradle the bag in the crook of your elbow as someone — doesn’t matter who — kicks your ribs and sends you crashing into a nearby wall. The impact knocks the air out of your lungs and leaves you with stars at the corners of your vision, yet all you can seem to think is ‘keep .... safe, keep .... safe, KEEP .... SAFE’.
You cough several times, static noise filling your eardrums as you crawl back to your feet. The sensation of something warm dribbling down the side of your ribs strikes you, yet your only concern in the midst of the blood loss is to carry that damn bag to safety.
It doesn’t make any sense. Luffy should be your only concern, but you can't find him, and the core of your being wants nothing more than to just get that bag the hell out of there.
Why? you think to yourself in a haze, your breath becoming heavier. What’s in that bag again? Why does it mean so much?
You try to get up, but the weight of your body overwhelms you. You stumble and fall back to your knees, dizziness making everything hazy and disoriented, but pure spite motivates you to keep going. At least, it tries to, but sheer will cannot outweigh the body’s needs alone.
Someone calls your name, and as your cheek meets the floor, an image of blue hair invades your vision. Blue hair, soft promises, and tight embraces.
Then, there are scornful glares, a shove against your body, so firm and cold that it’s reminiscent of ice.
“I hate you,” a blurry voice says, so filled with resentment that it reminds you of a knife. “I wish we’d never even met. Go be with him if that’s what you fucking want. What do I care?”
It hurts. It hurts more than your ribs do. It hurts to listen to those words — that voice — as it reverberates through your skull. It hurts so fucking much that you don’t think you can survive it. You feel small, small and vulnerable; like a child stuck in a crowd of people they don't know.
“He- Hey! Are you there?” The same voice - deeper and darker now - calls desperately as darkness starts to cloud your vision. “Come on, get up!”
You can’t tell if this is a voice from inside your head or outside it, but you don’t fight it when the darkness decides to lay claim over you. The same voice calls your name urgently, time and time again, but you can't answer it.
———
Everything hurts. Your body, your arms, your legs, but most prominently, the right side of your body. It’s burning, stinging, fucking carving at you. Whatever you call it. It just hurts.
“You’re awake!”
You barely have time to open your eyes when a warm body presses itself against yours from above. A sting of pain from the side of your body immediately surges through your nerves and you hiss.
“Oh, sorry, sorry!”
When you finally do look up, you see Luffy sitting beside you, a concerned yet hopeful look in those round eyes of his. You blink at him, then shift your head around to see where you are. You’re in your cabin, a blanket pulled up to your midsection, with something wrapped tightly around your stomach under your shirt.
At first, you’re at a loss for thoughts, but it only takes you a moment for everything to fall back into place. You immediately sit up, only to regret it as the pain explodes once more from your wounds.
“Don’t move too much,” Luffy protests and puts a hand on your shoulder to guide you down, but you resist it.
“What happened?” you demand. “How long was I out for?”
“Only a few hours.” Luffy frowns and gestures to your side. “You were badly hurt and lost a bit of blood. Zeff looked over it and managed to stop the bleeding, but he said you’ll need stitches eventually.”
You stare at him for a few seconds before your gaze trails down to your side. Lifting your shirt far enough so that you can evaluate the damage. Crimson-stained bandages greet your vision, under which you can only guess Arlong left his mark. Several marks to be precise, if your memory holds any value.
It’s not the wound itself that fills you with shame, but it’s the fact that you let your own grievances put you and – to some extent – the crew in such a vulnerable position to begin with.
If only you’d stopped feeling so sorry for yourself, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.
“Luffy,” you say softly, not removing your focus from the bandages. “I’m … sorry.”
“For what?” he asks, completely confused.
“… I got distracted.” You slowly swing your feet to the edge of the hammock, the movements warranting more bouts of pain, yet you ignore it. “I … Let my guard down, and it put the crew in danger.”
“I don’t think so.” He says it so casually like he doesn’t find you at fault in the slightest. You don’t know whether deem his forgiving demeanor endearing or naïve to a fault. “You were sad.”
“That doesn’t excuse anything!” You jump to your feet while cradling your side. Luffy immediately comes to your side and offers you a shoulder to lean onto. “You could’ve been killed!”
“I’m fine,” he insists. “And so is Zoro! He’s alive!”
“That’s … good.” Relief floods your body.
“But Nami…” Luffy pauses as he helps you out of the room towards the kitchen. “She went with Arlong,”
You raise an eyebrow, not expecting this. “Why?”
“I don’t know, but we’re going to find her.”
“And how are we going to do that?”
“Well …” he trails off sheepishly, and you’re immediately suspicious.
It’s not until you finally reach the kitchen that you hear it.
“Hey! Look who it ... is ...”
It’s Buggy …
His head is on top of the kitchen table.
———
Taglist:
@kurinhimenezu, @carpinchootaku, @ay0nha, @teh-vampire-bunny, @lokiscure, @internationalsuper-spy, @detectivesparrow , @yuriwk , @notyuralycat , @angeli-fucking-cat , @machinema7k , @shuujin, @avatar-lover, @gingernut1314, @autumn-slaves. @marvelouskatie, @floristoflillys, @dizzyenby, @redpool, @deliri-yum22, @aemondsb1tch, @ackroxia, @gayandfairycore, @knightsfavoriteprincess, @asterizee, @aamethyst23, @lizzie1107 (If you want to be tagged for this story, just send me a message or leave a comment :))
#buggy the clown#buggy x reader#one piece live action#buggy one piece#buggy the clown x reader#one piece#one piece x reader#buggy x you#buggy the clown fanfiction#buggy x female reader#one piece buggy#DMTMYHB#Didn’t mean to make your heart Blue
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How would Astarion & Gale each react to Tav just being Sherlock Holmes levels of observant and just casually revealing, in a one-on-one conversation, that they have clocked in on his secret (being a vampire/the magic orb) by going, "Let me know when you need some blood/a magic item, okay?" then genuinely going, "Wait, was that supposed to be a secret? Dang it, this always happens. Your secret's safe with me." & offering to reveal a secret of their own (even offering to let him invade their mind with the tadpoles to find a secret) if it would make him feel better or on more even footing.
Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3
Character(s): Astarion, Gale
Note(s): Tav's Wisdom is maxed the fuck out
Astarion
He has seen you staring at him. He's made overly flirty comments about it in hopes of either making you uncomfortable and leave him alone or taking the bait for him to manipulate you. But you just ignore them. Like you're just taking notes mentally and it's frustrating not knowing what's on your mind.
It was the night after he snuck off to drink from a boar. You hadn't even stumbled upon the boar when you ask about him sneaking off. Astarion makes up some excuse, but you don't buy it. And that's when you start laying out your suspicions.
Mentioning his paleness (a bit rude, in his opinion), him squinting in the sunlight as if unused to the brightness (the sun is very bright, in his defense), him sneaking off in the night (he already made an excuse for that one), and finally the fact that when he smiles and laughs, he has fangs.
Astarion ends up pouting when you call him out on being a vampire. The fact that you just threw this knowledge in his face makes him a bit annoyed. But his response is to laugh it off and call you silly before finally admitting to it when you're still not buying the lies.
He had hoped to have his chance to explain things when he was ready (which would've been never if he had that option). And so he just asks you what you plan on doing now. Is he going to be cast off for being a monster? Are you going to stab him with a stake? Astarion won't beg for his life, but he will say it'd be a mistake to have him leave.
But that's how he'd react to your observation skills. And now he waits to see how you react to his admittance and if you keep him around or not.
Gale
You figuring out Gale's "affliction" isn't as easy as Astarion's vampirism. It isn't until Gale's magic sickness kicks in that he notices how curious you are for whatever knowledge he has. All he can ask is that you trust him to open up when he's ready.
You had already asked him about the type of magic causing it and his silence on the issue seems to cause you to notice more, much to his chagrin.
He must've made a face or chuckled a bit too nervously when you ask if divine magic is involved with his sickness. You seemed to have an "aha!" moment and Gale sighs.
You don't need to say anything for him to know that you're very close to figuring things out. So he decides to just admit it.
I mean, Gale doubts you've figured out the exact contexts, but he does fill in the gaps that you might have with your conclusion. He just asks that you keep this knowledge to yourself.
Yes he knows he has a ticking time bomb in his body, but just supply him with those magical items and stop being so curious. It killed the cat, you know! And he prefers his cats alive. And with wings.
Taglist:
@reo-the-leo @unhelpfulnpc
#Anonymous#bg3 x reader#baldurs gate 3 x reader#astarion x reader#gale x reader#astarion ancunin x reader#gale dekarios x reader
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Trying to hang out and catch up with your demon girlfriends, but the owner of the ice cream place you go to keeps butting into your conversation.
" Oh God, he's coming this way again, isn't he? " You murmur, having avoided eye contact with the weird glutton just in that nick of time where it wouldn't be seen as rude.
One of your friends snorts, then harshly elbows the succubus next to her. " Go on, get him busy. We need to have a talk. "
" Owwie... Okay, you owe me. " The mid-ranker in question groans, then gets up with a big bright smile befitting of a model. She puffs her cheeks and adjusts her sizeable breasts behind her scant dress before getting up and immediately making a b-line for Berle. You would feel bad for her, if not for the fact that you know she truly enjoys being a nuisance whenever possible.
" That should buy us time. " The demoness twice your size chuffs. She claps a hand on your shoulder and practically drags you forward on the table. " Listen up pipsqueak, you know who that is? "
" Well, I- " You stammer. " I know he's kind of a celebrity around here... "
" Kind of?! " The smaller of your friend hisses like you've disappointed her. " That right there is Vorticia's youngest son! "
Your eyes widen like dinner plates. " The Queen Vorticia's son? "
" ... 'S kinda cute he has a puppy crush on you. " The sloth currently busy with a bowl of chocolate ice cream mumbles.
" Cute?! " The tallest one growls. " No way! Having royalty after you is fucked up, man! "
She blinks, that poor brain trying to catch up. " H- Huh? Whaddya mean? "
" Think about it, idiot. Infernal royalty aren't people you simply refuse. Take our King for example, everyone's shaking in their boots wondering if a war will start with every minor disagreement... "
Your hands shake slightly on the table. " But- But that's madness. Why would he want anything with me? I'm not even... I'm just a nobody. "
" Yeah right?! So what the fuck does he want to do with you- " You know better than to answer when she pokes her big index against your chest. " Nothing good, that's what! "
" O- Okay. " She's your friend, you trust her judgement about demon royalty.
" You need to show him you're not here to be fucked with! Harden up, do a bitch face, like this- " She puffs like a wild boar and makes a truly terrifying snarl of an expression, gums showing and eyes blazing with malice. It makes you shudder.
In turn, you can only weirdly strain a grimace. It makes you feel like a clown, and judging by her cheeks now puffing with laughter, it's not working very well. " Pfff- Okay, gonna need some work, but I'm confident. Maybe. "
She's swatted by the tiny woman next to you. " You think that's going to stop him, seriously? What we need is strategy. She's hopeless on her own! "
" Thanks- "
" Oh yeah?! What's your big idea? "
" Guys- " The sloth tries to speak around a mouthful of chocolate. " We all took the cockblock oath, chill. "
A chorus of "We did"s follows.
" Right? So, let's just keep being cockblockers. "
" What- To a prince?! I know she's a demon magnet, but come on, even we have limits! "
" Well- I think we're doing okay so far. " She points a spoonful of ice cream out into the distance.
Your succubus friend is firmly wrapped around Berle, one hand toying with his right horn and the other insistently trying to weasel under his apron while she talks his ears off and the young glutton tries desperately to keep up. He looks frantic, glancing around frequently as if having lost track of something.
Your wrathful friend forces your chin her way before your eyes can meet the prince's again.
" You're never coming here without us all, okay? "
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Meliodas - NSFW ALPHABET
Imma probably do this with a few of the SDS’s characters but imma start with my man <3 If you have any requests drop them in my inbox or comment!!
Our opinions may be different so don’t jump me LMAO! There are x Fem Reader and X GN Reader
This has been queued for Saturday the 3rd of June n I’ve never done this queue thing before so I pray it works. I am currently super sick from con so bare with me ya’ll.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Meliodas is veryyy touchy feely as we know so he defo wants to be close to you. Probably wraps you up in a blanket and holds you as close to him as physically possible. Wants to make sure you are comfy and feelin okay. Covers you with kisses and tells you how well you did and he’s proud of you. If you’re not too tired he’d defo run you a bath and help bathe you, making sure to be super gentle with you.
B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His favourite body part on himself is probably his torso and above. He’s got an impressive set of muscles so I can see him showin em off now and then. Probably loves to show you how easily he can move you wink wink
His favourite body part of yours would be chest, ass and thighs. We all know he’s a titty person but I know for a FACT he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to have his head between your thighs.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
I wanna say he’d love to see it on that pretty face of yours along with in your mouth. Seeing it drip down the sides of your mouth as you attempt to take every drop.
I also think on your breasts, seeing it run down them is a sight he’d never want to forget.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Barely a secret but he loves to fuck you in public, especially in risky places. Like during rush hour at the Boar Hat he slips you into the closet downstairs, or he’ll have you standing behind the bar while he eats you out on his knees, you struggling to take orders as he does it. Defo likes to play with you under the table at the Sins meeting too, 98% sure everyone knows what he’s doing but acts oblivious.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
You was his first and vice versa. He defo knows what he’s doing and is always down for experimenting.
F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)
Reverse cowgirl is one of them, he loves to see himself sliding in and out of you along with your ass
Us riding him, he’s a tits guy so having them bounce in his face while you’re taking him all in is like a 2 in one. Bonus points if he gets one in his mouth, he loves to suck on them while you struggle to keep going.
Doggy, especially after a rough day. He wants nothing more than to see how you moan and tear up as he pounds into you with absolutely zero remorse. Seeing how you desperately cry out for him to be rougher with you is a sight to see
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Helloooo its Meliodas we are talking about. It wouldn’t be Meli if he didn’t crack a joke here and there. Loves to make you laugh regardless so if he can while fucking you why wouldn’t he?
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
I will die on this hill but I think he keeps himself trimmed pretty good! He ain’t naked or anything but keeps it nice.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Depends. Most of the time he’s superrrr intimate, showering you will kisses and sweet talking you. But other times not so much but there is a BALANCE!! He will always show you a sweet side though, even during the roughest of sessions.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He can defo jack off to just the thought of you alone. I don’t wanna say its often as he’s around you 24/7 and would prefer to do it with you/in you than alone, but if he’s super pent up then aye, gotta do what ya gotta do.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
THIS IS MY OPINION BUT
Breeding kink for sure. Dude wants nothing more than to breed you, to fill you up to the brim and see you pregnant. The thought of you holding his child is one that sits in his mind constantly.
Dumbification, fucking you till you can’t even form a thought in your mind. The only thing you can do is cry out for more of him.
Restraints, this is pretty canon anyway but yeah. He loves to be tied up while you get full control to do whatever you please with his body, wether that be for his satisfaction or yours he does not care as long as you’re happy. He also likes to tie you up and watch your body twitch as he plays with you.
Somnophilia, he thinks you look so pretty and innocent while you sleep. On more than one occasion he has defo eaten you out whilst you slept, waking you up with the mother of all orgasms. When he’s come home late from being with the sins he has used your body to help him relieve some stress. ALL 100% CONSENSUAL BETWEEN YOU TWO!
Uniforms, he loves to fuck you in your Boar Hat uniform. He designed it so of course yours is a tiny bit smaller than the others, along with extra openings for easy access. He has several different versions of the uniform so you get to test them all.
Breast fucking for sureeeee. He loves your tits, so having his cock between them is a dream come true.
Also the thought of being seen turns him on to the MAX! Having people see how good he fucks you and how he makes you feel.
L = Location (favourite places to do they do)
He loves anywhere in the Boar Hat; over the tables, on the counter, against the door. Eating you out on the tables or counter is his favourite pastime. He also loves the bedroom, your face full of pillow n tears while he rams into you, loves it.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
You, just you. Anything you do honestly.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
I feel like he’s down for almost anything but doesn’t want anything to do with like knives or blood.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He prefers to give than receive but he loves to receive. Would give anything to have you sit on his face after a long day, he’d gladly eat you out while you tell him all about it. You are his favourite meal.
“What’s up, why the long face? Come sit on my face while you tell me”
He likes to receive too but it’s not a necessity, seeing you attempt to make him feel good is a major turn on though. You on your knees, his cock down your throat with tears in your eyes, he adores it. He gives you all the praise as you suck him off.
“Look at you, you're doing such a good job”, he’d coo as he’d stroke the side of your face whilst deepthroating him.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
All of the above.
Sometimes he’ll be super rough, demon mark showing and all while he pounds into you to the point where you’re almost drooling. No thoughts in your mind, only his name ringing through. Dirty talk all the way.
Other times he’s super slow and intimate, taking his time so you can enjoy every feeling, every movement. Smothering you in love bites and comments as he pulls in and out of you.
During quickies it's a mix of both.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
HE LIVESSSS FOR A QUICKIE! Especially since the sins are always on the go, they need to be able to do it anywhere and FAST. I wanna say y'all have them several times a week, he’s always up for em.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He is the definition of risk taker. The sins are coming back and there's like 5 minutes till they get back? Okay lets fuck right here on this table before they make it. Oh the King is coming downstairs? Let's have a quickie before he gets here. Like he does not CAREEEEEEE!
He also loves to experiment. Anything you wanna try he will do and if he has an idea he will always bring it up to you.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Demon Kings first born, dude has stamina for days. He could go like 4 rounds without breakin a sweat. You are his weakness though so sometimes he won’t last very long in you, like if you’re begging and whining out for him.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He has toys for you, for when he is gone and can’t bring you. He also loves to edge you with a vibrator then take over. He lets you have free reign when it comes to toys for him, whatever you want him to try he’s open.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Oh he’s a teaser! Sometimes he can be super mean and leave you for a considerable amount of time until you lose your orgasm before going back. But only sometimes, regardless he does love to see you beg for him to let you come or beg for him to touch you and make you feel good.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He isn’t super loud unless like you’re sucking him off, he defo whimpers and whines a little when you do it, a few hisses and curses too.
He loves when you’re super loud though, he wants everyone to know how well he fucks you. He legit does not care who can hear as long as they can hear. Wants to hear you moan out his name through the tavern.
The sins hate it but then they invested in soundproof walls LMAO.
W = Wild card (a random dirty headcanon for the character)
Okay this one is kinda random and i’m 50/50 on it but he wants to see Ban fuck you. He wants to watch it. Watch how Ban attempts to outdo him but knows he could never as you shoot him a wink or a moan he knows is fake. That or a threesome with you and Ban. He’d take front to see your pretty little face while Ban takes back.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Meli is big, don’t care what anyone says. He is girthy and veiny. Maybe not super long but trust me, the girth alone will have you on cloud 9. Let's say 6/7 inches ish.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Crazy high. Ya’ll are defo fucking almost everyday, wether that be quickies or long sessions, its pretty much everyday.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
He will always wait for you to be in a deep sleep before even thinking about passing out. He will hold you close to him on his chest until he hears your soft snores, gives you a kiss on the top of your head and THEN falls asleep. He can’t sleep unless he knows you feel safe and comfortable.
#meliodas#meliodas smut#sds meliodas#sds meliodas smut#nnt meliodas#nnt meliodas smut#nnt smut#meliodas x reader#meliodas x reader smut#nanatsu no taizai#nanatsu no taizai smut#nanatsu no taizai x reader#nanatsu no taizai x reader smut#Seven Deadly Sins#seven deadly sins smut#seven deadly sins x reader#seven deadly sins x reader smut#meli noel work's
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💚🎤VELVET X FEM! POPSTAR! EX! READER! 🎤💚
Requested? yeah :)
GUYS accidentally posted my draft for another VELVET X FEM! POPSTAR! READER! 😭 OOPS i was wondering why it wasn’t in my drafts…
(Y/N) used for popstar name or real name depends on which you would loike.
You let out a bone chilling screech as you watched your spot on the charts being taken over by Velvet and her brother. Your assistant cowered in fear as you shoved the tablet into her arms getting up and stomping around you studio.
"She can't even sing!? I know her better than ANYONE and she sounds horrible!" Gripping your hair kicking your dressing chair out of your way walking into the recording booth. Your assistant Satin looked at you confused as you placed your headphones on and fixing your mic.
"Uhh what are you doing?" Satin spoke up looking at you through the glass, rolling your eyes in annoyance tapping on the glass signaling that you couldn't hear her. "oh right. Pressing a button her voice coming through the speakers as she asked her question again.
"What does it look like Stain!? i'm going to make a another album so that EVERYONE and i mean EVERY knows who should be hitting number one on the charts!!” You groaned in frustration as Satin looked at you unimpressed.
“It’s Satin not Stain and you just released an album! How can you release another one? let alone you didn’t even write any songs, come back in here.” She deadpanned at your insane thought process as you knew that she was right. Spinning around in your chair as Satins voice spoke through the speakers.
“You also have that interview with Kid Ritz for the Bop On Top at 3:30, it’s currently 2:44 you should come back in so we can help you get prepared.” Jumping off of your chair and walking out of the recording booth. “FINE!” grumbling while you began to get pampered by your makeup crew.
It was now 3:25 and you have five minutes left to prepare yourself, A crew member powered your face as another held your cup while you sipped on it. Satin was behind you talking about your schedule.
“No that won’t work I want to have a chill sort of day can you rearrange it for me?” You were calm now after Satin managed to stop you from your fit earlier. Opening the door to the interview room your eyes widened as you saw your ex and her brother sitting chatting away. Snatching the cup from the crew members hand chugging the rest of it before throwing it into the bin making sure to be as obnoxious as possible. Satin looked just as bewildered as you as you turned to face her.
“Satin? I thought this was a SOLO interview?? ifitsasolointerviewthanwhyisSHEhere?” You stammered angerly waving your arms around. Satin stared at her scedule again scanning it frantically before stopping and showing it to you pointing.
“I don’t know?? I specifically put solo interview with Kid Ritz? and I was constantly informed it was going to be a solo interview?” She said scratching her head as Velvet’s voice spoke up from behind you.
“Oh my godd is that-“ She said sarcastically before hopping up from her seat and strutting towards your confused frame. “So nice to meet you again.” sugar laced sarcastism was forced in her voice as your heart began to race. Your back turned to her as you could feel her eyes boaring into your body. Quickly turning to face her not realising how close she was.
Your faces were practically a few inches away from eachother, You could hear the beat of your heart in your ears and the way she breathed as you felt your stomach begin ti flutter. Ignoring that feeling as you stared deeply into her eyes tilting your head to the side a smirk crawling onto your face.
“Wow really? I can see that since you manged to take my solo interview AND spot on the charts you leech.” You spat out as Vevets face dropped into a scowl her eyes darking as she took a step closer towards you.
“You know if you wanted me back so badly all you have to do is apologise instead of autotunneing the FUCK out of your voice to steal my spotlight just for me to notice you again.” You cackled out as Velvet was about to open her mouth to speak the director ushered us away towards the chairs as the show was about to start.
“HEY GUYS and welcome back to the Bop On Top and today we have Velvet and Veneer with only two months on the scene have surpassed everyone for the number one spot!” Ouch this hurt your ego seeing in your peripheral vision Velvet smirking as she made a fake shocked face before posing for the camrea with Veneer.
“But we ALSO have a starring guest joining these two on the stage today DRUM ROLL PLEASE.” You closed your eyes rolling them internally as the drum roll began to play getting your camrea smile ready. “(Y/N)!” Kid Ritz spoke excitedly as almost all of the cameras were now on you. A fake sweet smile was plastered on your face as you waved and blew kisses towards the camreas for the TV as you opened you mouth to speak.
“oh my gosh! thank you for inviting me on the air tonight Kid Ritz but I was just wondering… I thought this was going to be a solo interview?” You spoke trying your best not to chew him out right then and there. He didn’t even flinch before speaking about something involving the three most famous people on mount ragous.
Velvet spoke up crossing her legs and stretching out her arms laying them on the headrest of her seat. “I am quite upset about this too (Y/N) I didn’t want to make you feel bad on air due to me taking your number one spot on the charts.” Her voice was low and sarcastic as her face turned to you. Your eyebrow twitched as your gripped the sides of your chair shaking it off before playing it cool.
“Well I dont feel very threatened especially since your last live preformance.” You spat out venom as she gave you a disgusted look cocking your head to the side a small smirk on your face mouthing.
“Bite me.” Velvet stood up from her seat stomping infront of you placing her arms on each side of your chair her eyes peirced thought you as she leaned over you.
“Maybe I will? You’d like that wouldn’t you?” She said leaning close to your face feeling your face heat up. ‘God I miss her stupid pretty face’ you thought before Veneer let out a cough.
“We are live, you know?” We both stared unphased before she moved back to her seat her eyes ligering on me before she sat now next to her brother.
The interview went on like normal with me and Velvet going at eachothers throats for the majority of it but when it was our time to sing Velvet blasted out her voice. My eyes widened as she flipped her hair looking smug as I sat there in awe.
‘H-How?’ I thought, It felt like waves were coming off of her as she sang, her brother took the spotlight over when it was his turn.
Ignoring what Kid Ritz was saying as I side eyed Velvet licking my lips as I felt my throat run dry.
‘Maybe she did change?’
#trolls band together#trolls#velvet x female reader#velvet trolls#velvet#velvet x reader#velvet and veneer#trolls 3
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If you're still doing Philza headcannons, how about some specifically about Phil, Chayanne, and Tallulah? I miss the kiddos...
qPhil headcanons masterlist
(NOT) SINGLE DAD EDITION LETS GO
Those two are the light of his fucking life ok. If you were someone that had something against him, they're how you get to him. They're how you hurt him. He will do ANYTHING for them. He'll kill his friends, he'll fly on broken wings, he'll die for them. Nothing matters more than those two kids.
He's not typically a very physically affectionate person. But to the kids? Suddenly he's a cuddler. Suddenly he's head kisses and carrying them on his hip just because he can. Suddenly he's braiding hair and painting nails and playfully tormenting them with tickles. They flip a switch in his brain.
Nothing could ever make him waver on how proud of them he is. Both of them. Chayanne so brave and strong, stressed to the teeth like his dad but persevering like a true warrior. Tallulah is so loving and open, even in the face of so much pain and adversity. She's been through so much, largely alone, and yet she still has the strength to smile and be silly after everything. Ideally he wishes they would've never experienced any pain at all, but Quesadilla says Damn You All
Chayanne & Tallulah can make him laugh until his stomach hurts, and they can do it faster than friends he's known for YEARS. Tallulah especially is the queen of comedic nonverbal timing. All it takes is a certain look with a slow turn after Phil says something stupid and he's Dying.
His favorite thing is when either of them fall to pieces emote bc smth stupid happened. Or whenever they Orange Justice after smth fucked happens.
Listen. LISTEN. Don't be fooled by this man. He LOVES adventures with the kids. He loves them. The reason he refuses to venture out with them or go dungeon raiding with them super often is because survivalist brain is like if the worst happens, the Feds do not have your back. If you lose the kids you have nothing much to live for on this island. Do not risk their lives, even if it sounds fun.
He fucking loves watching the kids talk to the other eggs. The constant taptaptaptaptap of signs being placed while they chat together makes him giggle. He also loves watching them just crouch and silently communicate.
Dude Rose's love for the two of them makes his heart so full. Like legit the first time she told him "they're under my protection" he nearly cried. And not just from relief that they'd be safe from EK.
And related: Oh my GOD does he fucking love the term "fledglings" for them. It's SO CUTE. Rose was so right for that. Something about it drives home the thought of "these are MY kids" even more. He just 🥺
Chayanne's mask reminds him of Techno's boar one sometimes and it makes him wanna cry /pos. If Chayanne ever mentions being guided by Techno's spirit to fight EK Phil will never recover
He loves this "new era" of Tallulah, between her cutting her hair short a while back and now dying it + changing her hat. It feels like she's getting more independent despite everything and considering Phil used to have to Really hover around her to help her out, he's the world's proudest papa about it
He's told them stories about all the hardcore gods (that he knows of) at this point. Rose bc ofc he did. EK bc he kinda had to. The others bc at this point he's expecting them to poke their heads around at one point or another too. Chayanne loves Blaze. Tallulah still loves Rose the most. She's gone on a rant about "Papa how the fuck is Ocean Overlord a god when he fumbles things so badly???" He wishes he knew, Tallulah.
He wants to take them on a flight so bad it hurts. Literally. He's more angry EK fucked up his wings maybe permanently bc he robbed them of that than he is that EK did it to spite him.
He really really really hopes they do hatch some day and become lil dragon hybrids bc then he can watch them fly and teach them how to do it well (the best he can while he's grounded) (he might get a little envious)
He fucking LOVES sparring with the kids. He goes easy bc he's insanely skilled and experienced compared to Two Literal Children but they catch on and improve So Quick and it makes him so unbelievably proud and excited to see them demonstrate their skills in a real (hopefully non-lethal) situation.
#qsmp#qsmp philza#philza#q!philza#qsmp chayanne#qsmp tallulah#q!chayanne#q!tallulah#chayanne the egg#tallulah the egg#qphil headcanons
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Kinktober: Day 1
Prompt: Handjob
TFP Wheeljack x GN Reader
Warnings: Handjob (duh), reader gets a facial, reader is human.
Word count: 811
You knew Wheeljack was the adventurous type of mech. One that genuinely does not give a fuck about anyone or anything, go big or go home kind of thing. Other than his suaveness and ability to make your knees buckle every time he looks at you, it’s one of the reasons why you fell for him. So when he told you to pack a day bag because we’re “hittin’ the road for the weekend”, you were bound to expect or encounter some sort of adventure. And you’ll be damned if you weren’t at least a little excited to be alone with your metallic crush deep in the forest, keeping you safe from bears and whatever rabid squirrels that want to steal your trail mix.
“Frag, yeah. Just like that.”
Although, having Wheeljack back up against a tree while your hands pump around his deliciously thick spike doesn’t sound too bad, either.
You don’t know how it happened, but you’ve somehow learned that the trope of two people in a forest getting hot and bothered over each other absolutely applies to Cybertronians.
You’re kneeling between his spread thighs, legs covered in dirt and grit. One hand at the base of his cock whilst you drag your fingertips across the tip, eliciting delightful groans from the mech above you. His servos are by his side, digging into the soil at your teasing touch.
“C’mon, sweetspark. You can be a bit rougher than that.”
“You seem more desperate than I am.”
“Well, you were the one who started gettin’ all touchy-feely first,” Wheeljack gives you a shit-eating grin, which you promptly wipe from his face with a rough tug on his spike, “I-I’m just -ahhg- along for the ride.”
“You won’t be getting any rides if you keep talking shit.” You half-joke back because, in actual fact, you’re really desperate to slide yourself on his spike afterwards.
“I better keep my mouth shut then.” Wheeljack breathes out as you finally start to work your hands over his spike.
Speaking of which, it’s thick, really thick. And as stiff as a dick could ever get. And despite Wheeljack's attempts to not seem as desperate as you are, it’s already weeping with precum.
Deciding that you’re also really desperate for a load to the face, you get serious and wrap both of your hands around his cock. Which you find is really hard to do when you’ve only got precum to work with. So, leaning forward, you hover your mouth over the tip and make a show of welling some saliva into your mouth, and then proceed to stick your tongue out and let it run down onto it. It dribbles over the tip, weaves into the crevasses of your knuckles and down onto the rest of his shaft. And Wheeljacks engine fucking revs.
“Wow, now that’s a sight.” Wheeljack purrs.
With enough spit to cure even the harshest droughts coating his spike, you continue pumping, watching Wheeljack's optics boar into yours as you twist your wrists up and down slowly. It’s also the perfect opportunity to soak in the sight before you. His helm has lulled back against the tree trunk, his intake open just slightly, the mounds of dirt from the craters he’s making with his servos, the small thrusts of his hips meeting the palms of your hands. It’s incredible how quickly a giant, smart-ass mech like him has succumbed to a tiny human jerking him off in the middle of the goddamn forest.
“O-Oh frag, yes,” Wheejack squeezes his optics shut and arches his back struts against the tree as your pace quickens, strangling your hands as they meet the tip, “Faster, please, Y/n I’m so close-“
“You wanna overload on my face so bad, hm?” You moan with him, sticking your tongue out to receive his load with the utmost enthusiasm. Your muscles are sore, and your knees hurt from digging into the ground for so long, but you won't stop until he’s putty in your hands.
“Yes yes yes! Slag it, Y/n!” Wheeljack’s engine roars, his thighs spread as far as they can as jets of trans fluid shoot out onto your face. Some drip down onto your chest and thighs, while some overflow over your knuckles and pool onto the junction between his abdomen and spike. It’s warm, glows slightly pink and is absolutely addicting against your tongue.
“Oh, wow.” Wheeljack whines as he glances down at your body, admiring the artwork he made of you, “You.. aahn... you look fraggin’ gorgeous.”
You give him a devilish smile, before squeezing the tip of his pulsing cock again, earning a rough growl from him, “Round two?”
Wheeljack huffs, ripping your hands away from his spike and dragging you onto his thighs. His length dangerously pressing against your clothed heat.
“Yeah, sweetspark. But how ‘bout I frag your brains out first, huh?”
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❤️ laiden, pls
Lambert leans back against a tree, stomach full of surprisingly good roast boar, fire crackling pleasantly, breeze just brisk enough to make for nice sleeping weather, and thinks that if nights on the Path were like this more often, he’d hate being a witcher a lot less.
The source of the roast boar and also a really remarkable amount of the contentment is lounging across the fire from Lambert, draped across his bedroll languidly and staring into the flames with half-lidded eyes that glow uncanny green in the flickering light. The dark curls of his hair are gilded and gleaming. Lambert wants to wind them around his fingers and see if they’re as soft as he remembers from the few times he’s helped his companion with head injuries. He wants to touch the fire-warmed brown skin and find out if the scars feel different than his own. He wants to stretch out against his companion’s back and breathe in the scent of his ridiculous expensive sandalwood soap and -
Wait.
What the fuck?
Lambert sits very still, as still as he would if there was a fucking leshen stalking him. Since when does he want to nuzzle Aiden’s hair? Since when does he want to nuzzle anyone’s hair? Since when does he even think the word nuzzle? What the absolute fuck, when did this happen, when did he go and - and - and fall in love without even fucking noticing?
Because this can’t be anything else, this throbbing warmth in his chest that gets stronger whenever he looks across the fire at Aiden’s lanky form, the absurd fondness he has for the other witcher’s habit of flirting with anything that moves, the glee he feels every time they draw their swords together to take down some looming monster. The way he seeks Aiden out every spring and hates parting from him every fall. The way Aiden can coax him out of his worst sulks, and the way he doesn’t even mind spending the time and effort and occasional bruises it takes to calm Aiden from bouts of battle-madness.
Aiden looks up from the fire and quirks an eyebrow. “You alright over there? Or is there a leshen about to step on me?”
Lambert opens his mouth to say he’s fine, but what actually comes out, in an embarrassing croak, is, “I’m in love with you.”
Aiden’s eyes open very wide. “Oh,” he breathes, and then, to Lambert’s astonishment, “Oh, thank fuck.”
“What?” Lambert says blankly.
Aiden rises, moving slowly like he’s trying not to spook Lambert, and slinks around the fire. Lambert stares up at him, too baffled to move.
Aiden sinks down to sit in Lambert’s lap. He’s warm and heavy and so very close and Lambert is surrounded by the smell of sandalwood and beneath that the salt of a day’s walking and the rich gaminess of the roast boar and something else that’s purely Aiden, faint but intoxicating.
“Thank fuck,” Aiden says again, very quietly. “I would’ve been content to be your friend and nothing more, but oh, I have been hoping so.”
“Hoping?” Lambert asks, bewildered.
“I’ve been in love with you for years,” Aiden says softly. His eyes are so very green. “Can I kiss you? Please? I’ve been waiting so long.”
Lambert laces his hands through Aiden’s hair, and oh, it is as soft as he remembers, and all the better for not being matted with mud and blood -
He pulls Aiden forward, and Aiden kisses him.
He tastes like roast boar and the mediocre wine they’ve been drinking, and his lips are chapped, and their noses knock together before they readjust, and it’s far and away the best kiss Lambert has ever had.
The second one is even better.
(Or here on AO3!)
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That thing about fertility
A great many people who are befriended/follow Uhtred say Sihtric is favoured by Freya and Freyr
This stems from one Yule time in Cookham, when Sihtric was allowed to sacrifice the boar
It was his very first time
He got more blood on himself than on the sacrificial grounds
That brought around the joke that from now on Freya will favour him
He will have many children it is said
And nothing has ever been more true
His libido is off this world!
He can go for it anytime, anywhere
He is not quitting until you are with child
And even when you are, he will only leave off when you tell him
He is 100% horny!
And a himbo
You are most certainly with child 80% of the time
So many babies!
And Sihtric loves all of them
He is such a proud and loving father, holy fek!
He definitely does his best to be involved as he can be
Considering Uhtred still likes him by his side in battle
He also all but insists on being with you during your labour
Uhtred usually allows that
And how elated he is when he gets to hold another newborn babe in his arms
And he finds you so pretty when you are with child
He will not waste a single moment to make you feel confident
Be it with a baby bump, just post partum or with a baby on your boob
Sihtric will always tell you how amazing he thinks you are
And often also how much you turn him on
Because fuck you do!
Especially in your second trimester
There is barely any leaving your bed
Because holy shit you drive Sihtric wild every hour of the day
It's become a bit of a running gag for Uhtred to ask you if you are pregnant every time he sees you
Be it with a bundle of joy new in your arms or with a belly full to bursting
And you always answer 'Knowing my husband, I might be'
Though Sihtric will absolutely give you time to recover as much as you need after birth or when one baby is particularily difficult
And then there is the adopted kids
First it is just Cynlaef
But Aethelstan seems to yearn for a true family as well
So you say he can go ahead and call you Mother and Sihtric Father, if he wants
The young royal bastard had already been living under your roof since Uhtred had taken him in on Edward's request
You and Sihtric simply have the most stable family/homelife
Sihtric and you are absolutely loving parents to your boys
They are both raised, like the children of your blood, with the old gods
Though Finan and Osferth make sure Aethelstan gets a christian education as well
Cynlaef and Aethelstan are both very good big brothers
They are very helpful with the younger children
Especially Aethelstan is soooo good with the young ones
Oh the happiness
BIG FAMILY, HAPPY FAMILY
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Kny characters ranked from least to most likely to be scammed
Sanemi: He is so paranoically distrustful to everyone and everything around him (himself included, always) to the point where it is reaching delusional, self-destructive proportions. Sorry for the mental illness king but at least you aren't getting scammed.
Iguro: Growing up in a cult taught him relatable, every day lessons like: If a snake demon asks you to feed your babies to her in exchange for gold, maybe, don't do that? Being raised in this environment made him apply a highly suspicious framework to so many things, a lot of times to his own detriment. Like assuming that every single male wants to steal his crush away because they dare breathe the same air as her or god forbid, engage in small-talk. Despite all that he still manages to rank above Sanemi, somehow.
Shinobu: She will allow people think that they are succeeding in scamming her when in actuality SHE is scamming THEM. We are talking Jimmy McGill level shenanigans over here.
Giyuu: He just wants to fuck off in some hole and die he does not care about your essential oils #toodepressedtogetfinessed
Muichiro: Manages to avoid being scammed by being completely apathetic and dismissive towards the scammer (assuming he is even bothering listening to them in the first place) and immediately forgetting what even the scam was all about in the first place.
Uzui: Most of the times he is able to use his critical thinking skills to distinguish scam from not and he can be a pretty decent conman himself, although he is not immune to being overtly suspicious or on the other end, people getting the better of him.
Gyomei: Is able to objectively analyse and evaluate an issue in order to form a judgement without being gullible or paranoid, like a healthy functioning adult. Congrats on the fully developed pre-frontal lobe, Himejima.
Rengoku: The fact that he suspected that a random 15 year old human was one of Muzan's spies and thus should be killed without any substantial evidence shows us that he is able to be highly suspicious of people (and it makes us glad that he never pursued a career in law) but this does NOT negate the fact that he fell for the greatest scam of all time (fatherly approval)
Tanjirou: People assume that due to Tanjiro's age and kind nature that he would be easy to scam, what these people don't know is that Tanjiro is a human lie detector. Things do get trickier for him though when the interaction is not happening via face-to-face conversation.
Inosuke: Inosuke manages to avoid being scammed by 1) being raised in the wild by boars for most of his life thus blissfully unaware of pyramid schemes 2) resorting to violence when he finds people annoying 3) no sane scammer wanting to chose the boy wearing a taxidermied boar head as a target. But he is NOT immune to getting scammed when his physical capabilities are getting called into question.
Zenitsu: You would assume that due to Zenitsu's advanced sense of hearing he would be able to distinguish truth from lie, but recalling the fact that 8 different girls managed to scam him out of his money and make him drown in debt and that in the Kimetsu Gakuen comics Douma managed to sell him overpriced water under the guise that it was a love potion I guess that's simply not the case, at least not when the possibility of getting a girlfriend is involved. Thankfully for Zenitsu "hot babes in you area" pop-ups did not exist in Taishou era Japan.
Mitsuri: She has a huge heart and wants to believe the best in people even if said people have a huge white van parked outside with a sign saying "Free Candy"on it,alas.
And lastly HUGE shoutout to all the demons who back when they were still human clicked on a pop-up ad by some Kibutsuji Muzan guy saying "CLICK HERE IF YOU WANT TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE" this unfortunately installed a virus in their brains that drove their already fragile minds to complete insanity. Sad.
#kny#demon slayer#kyojuro rengoku#sanemi shinazugawa#giyuu tomioka#shinobu kocho#gyomei himejima#muichiro tokito#inosuke hashibira#tanjiro kamado#zenitsu agatsuma#mitsuri kanroji#obanai iguro#uzui tengen#kimetsu no yaiba#long post#kny headcanons
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Pasta you are an absolute menace…I just figured out where you got Jane Hind from.
The third labor of Heracles: capturing the Ceryneian hind aka a deer that was hunted by him for over a year
“I am definitely not a hound I am instead an animal of prey”
I am not worried you are going to use more events from the story later
(Im kind of embarrassed I didn’t pick it up sooner considering I’m a classics major)
FUCK YESSSSSSS!
Like, I adore Greek Mythology and the classics, and I grew up watching Xena, Hercules, and also hunting down every last Greek and Roman Mythology text my tiny hungry Pasta hands could reach, and so the Hind from the labors absolutely played into it. Her (false) name in my initial drafts and outline was originally just, 'Jane Doe', a placeholder I would swap out a different name for later. But I got used to Jane, and then went, '...wait a fucking SECOND, I know another word for Doe!'
Jane Doe -> Jane Hind.
Hind = Doe.
And so her name is symbolic with multiple layers.
Jane Hind is a variation of Jane Doe, aka: no name known, an unidentified person. This was her intent as a joke when she chose it, without really thinking of anything deeper, and so it's absolutely one part pun, but also:
Jane Hind, a play on the Ceryneian Hind, and like you said: 'Definitely no predator here, only prey, *deer noises*' but also a 'Yeah I be runnin from shit and I am FAST and you're gonna have to work to catch me motherfuckers'. She is the trophy that her hunter is searching for, the prey he requires if he wishes to free himself, and at the moment, she is guarded and protected, watched over by the Devil God one who's deemed her sacred. The Evil AU Heracles will have to get around our stand-in Diana if he wants to carry this Hind away. We'll see if he's as successful in Hell's Kitchen as he was in the myth.
Additionally, a little bit of foreshadowing of the myths Ciro taught her (seen again with the story of the Calydonian boar).
I FUCKING LOVE THAT YOU SPOTTED THIS, DO NOT BE SORRY, I RARELY GET TO TALK ABOUT IT.
#the red thread#i love this shit and so when i get an opportunity to put it in it goes in#especially because... Daredevil just *feels* like a world where these myths fit in neatly#because Matt is basically a walking greek tragedy anyway#Weaving in some of those parallels into Jane's story too - different classics than Matt's absolutely but classics all the same - felt...#very fitting i think#And so Jane has unintentionally named herself after the Hind which both speaks to her past and foreshadows her journey ahead
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You are not her! Part 3
Word count:1380
“Daemon” (Y/N) moans out as he thrusts into you over and over.
“Rhaenyra” Daemon moans.
(Y/N) looks up at him and tenses of course he would moan her name as he fucks you.
Rhaenyra had given birth to a boy with brown hair (Y/N) had tried to get pregnant but it hasn’t happened yet because Daemon has been secretly giving you moon tea he has two children already with Laena Velaryon but (Y/N) doesn’t know Daemon has children with her just yet.
“You have been keeping this for me for years, why?” (Y/N) cry’s out as Daemon tells her why she hasn’t become pregnant and about Laena and his daughters.
(Y/N) looks at Daemon and sees now she was nothing to him but a spare to have when he couldn’t have the heir.
“You’ve never loved me or cared for me you just wanted Rhaenyra and I’m sorry I’m not her and I never will be her and I will never bother you or your family again Daemon goodbye”(Y/N) says taking off the ring and jewelry Daemon gave her on their wedding day and packed up some clothes and went to your dragon and flew away never to been seen again until it was time to come home.
Years before.
(Y/N) sat with Rhaenyra under the Godswood as Samwell sang and Rhaenyra read to (Y/N).
“Rhaenyra, (Y/N)” Alicent calls out to you both.
“Yes my queen” Rhaenyra answers while looking at the book.
“Both yours and (Y/N)’s presence is wanted in the outer courtyard; the royal hunt readies to depart” Alicent tells you both.
“I’ve decided to remain here and read and (Y/N) will be staying with me” Rhaenyra tells Alicent.
“You may go Samwell” Alicent tells the singer to leave.
“You are to stay by order of the princess” Rhaenyra tells Samwell.
“The Queen commands you to leave the godswoods at once” Alicent commands Samwell and he takes his things and bows to (Y/N) and Rhaenyra and then to Alicent then leaves the three alone.
“The King wishes for you both to join us” Alicent says, holding her swelling belly.
“The King has much to celebrate so he does not need us both” Rhaenyra says.
“He wants for us all to be together, perhaps the hunt could be….. fun” Alicent says nervously.
“Is it the King's command?” Rhaenyra asks Alicent.
“Yes it is but-“ Alicent starts to say.
“Then at once your grace” Rhaenyra says slamming the book closed and handing the book to you and she gets everything else and walks away leaving Alicent there saddened (Y/N) walks by and smiles sadly at her.
“But it needn’t be none of it needs be this way Rhaenyra and (Y/N)” Alicent says as they both walk by her.
The carriage ride.
“Well isn’t this splendid the whole of our family off to celebration and adventure in the Kingswood” Father says looking around the carriage.
“Should you be traveling in such conditions?” (Y/N) asks Alicent.
“The maester said that being out in nature would do me well,” Alicent says, rubbing her belly.
“Well you and your sister will be with your own children sooner than later and make me a proud grand sire” Father says smiling at you and Rhaenyra.
“It’s not so bad the days are long but Aegon came quickly and without fuss” Alicent tells you both and you just smiled at her.
“You should ride out with me today and join the chase” Father tells Rhaenyra.
“I’d rather not, the boars squeal like children when they’re being slaughtered. I find it discomforting” Rhaenyra tells father.
“It’s a hunt, Rhaenyra. How would you like to participate?” Father asks her.
“I’m not sure why I must,” Rhaenyra says.
“Because you and (Y/N) are my daughters and you both have duties” Father says.
“As we are ceaselessly reminded” Rhaenyra whispers.
“I’m sorry?” Father says, looking at Rhaenyra.
“We are ceaselessly reminded” Rhaenyra says louder.
“You wouldn’t need to be if you both ever attended them”Father says looking at you both.
“No one’s here for me,” Rhaenyra says.
The carriage comes to a stop and Viserys walks out the Alicent then the midwives and (Y/N) looks at Rhaenyra and holds her hand out.
“I’m here for you sister. I will always be here for you. Let's go drink and eat till we no longer can.” (Y/N) says taking Rhaenyra’s hand and walking out of the carriage.
(Y/N) walks around and watches Rhaenyra as she talks to Jason Lannister and whatever he told her made her angry and she walks into the tent and starts yelling at Viserys and she runs back out and gets onto of a horse and rides off as Ser Cole gets on his horse and rides after her (Y/N) walks into the tent and sees her father drinking away and getting drunk so she goes and plays with Aegon.
The next morning
Rhaenyra rides in covered in blood and (Y/N) runs up to her and hugs her and takes her to her tent and helps wash off the blood as they get ready to leave back home.
Days after the hunt
Father calls for Rhaenyra to come to the small council room and (Y/N) hides in the passageway to hear what father would tell Rhaenyra.
“Dwarfstone?” Rhaenyra asks, looking at Viserys.
“I’m sending word to Daemon aid is sailing to the Stepstones” Viserys tells Rhaenyra.
“Did he make a call for help?” Rhaenyra asks.
“He would sooner die but his King does not mean to allow that. Do you not think my decision is correct?” Viserys asks her.
“It is of no consequence to what I think as I’m often reminded” Rhaenyra tells Viserys.
“Daemon is thorn enough in my flesh will you insist on taking after him? Must everything be a battle?” Viserys asks her.
“If you refer to your attempt to marry me off to Casterly Rock” Rhaenyra says angrily.
“I am sorry Rhaenyra I was trying to help you. Will you not be helped? Why must every effort on your behalf be resisted as if to the death?” Viserys asks her.
“Because you mean to replace me with Alicent Hightower’s son the boy you always wanted you have him in hands now you have no further use for me you might as well peddle me for what you can a mountain stronghold or a fleet of ships” Rhaenyra says angrily at Viserys.
“You’ve misjudged me, Rhaenyra” Viserys says.
“All know it Jason Lannister knows it you said it yourself the lords of the realm gather like volunteers to a carcass hoping to feast on my bones” Rhaenyra tells Viserys.
“It is true that as rulers we must marry for advantage to forge alliances and bolster our strength. You have always understood this. I myself was promised to your mother when I was -“ Viserys starts to say.
“Ten-and-seven years of age the Vale had an army to rival the North. I've heard that story since I’ve had ears” Rhaenyra tells Viserys.
“I loved her, she made a man of me. I do not seek to replace you child you’ve been much alone these few years. I thank the gods you have (Y/N) to be with and you both now are alone and angry. I will not live forever. I wish for you to be content and happy” Viserys tells her.
“You think a man would do it?” Rhaenyra asks him.
“A family” Viserys says.
“I had a family” Rhaenyra answers back.
“What would you have me do?” Viserys asks her.
“If it was for advantage you would’ve we’d Laena Velaryon” Rhaenyra tells him.
“That is true enough you must marry strengthen your own claim shore up your succession multiply as to your match make it yourself search him out find one that pleases you as I did Rhaenyra I did waver at one time but I swear to you on your mothers memory you will not be supplanted” Viserys tells her as she leaves him alone in the room and (Y/N) comes out of the passageway and goes to talk to Rhaenyra about what father has told her.
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Straw-hat game night
Characters: all strawhats excpet jimbe cause I havent met him yet
C/W: crackpost, swearing, this is all a joke
Luffy insist the crew plays twister but usopp and chopper get salty saying he has an unfair advantage.
Zoro dose not give a single fuck and wants to sleep but luffy and sanji called him chicken and now hes convinced hes gonna sweep the floor in anything they play.
Chopper wants to play connect four cause he likes stacking all the playing pieces into little towers.
Robin would prefer to play some simple chess or checkers but she honestly does not mind.
Nami wants to play monopoly and get all the money, she will steal from overs.
Brook is spinning around in circles and singing he does not understand what any of the newer board games are but he does not care none the less
Franky just wants to beat everyone.
Usopp can't decide what he wants to play. Probably something funny like charades or headbands
Sanji opted out of picking games to make snacks.
They all end up playing monopoly because thats the only one they can all agree on
Its start off smooth Robin is making a silent attack by playing defence
Luffy eats one of the fucking pieces
Nami is stealing money while zoro isnt looking
Sanji keeps trying to give properties to nami and robin.
Zoro and usopp smack him over the head
Franky buys the trains stations
They night ends in a war, their a tables stacked around and they are all fighting to the death for the money
Brook is still spinning and singing
They all fall asleep after luffy decides to only way to end the fight is to just eat the entire boared and the money
Game-night was a.... success?
#one piece x reader#one piece#one piece headcanons#one piece x you#zorosleftmantit#one piece funny#tumblr memes#imagine#one piece strawhats#luffy fluff#roanoa zoro#monkey d luffy#nico robin#god usopp#roranoa zoro#cyborg franky#soul king brook#chopper#tony chopper#headcanon
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Anyway, here's some more of the sequel to the vet fic, because the world is hard and mean, and one overly long fic about two gays driving around the countryside helping sick animals wasn't enough:
The wedding was at Ripley Castle near Harrogate, and featured a cousin with whom Arthur was just close enough not to blow off the ceremony; though he wouldn’t have minded simply popping in for the vows, and the requisite after-vow pleasantries. But he had seen the opportunity to pry Merlin away for a holiday, on an estate large enough to avoid most of his family; and so Saturday they had put their rucksacks, their suits, and themselves, into the car, and were now going at a decent clip down the B6265, though Merlin thought it was codgerly.
“Does Gaius know to put the wet food on top of the dry food for Tessa, and not to mix it all together?”
“Yes, you mentioned it in the instructions we left.”
“And that Mixer can only go into the outdoor pens with George? And if he can’t find Cian, to check under the sofa?”
“Arthur, we are not leaving our infant child for the first time whilst we take our first holiday since we became new dads, we are leaving our four adult cats to be checked in on by a veterinarian who’s been practising about as long as either of us has been alive. I think he can handle feeding a finicky arshole.”
“I’m not sure if I remembered to mention George’s eye drops, though. Will you text Gaius?”
“You wrote six fucking pages on how to care for four cats for two days. You mentioned it.”
“Just text him, you knob.”
“Uncle Gaius,” Merlin sounded out obnoxiously as he typed. “Arthur thinks you are a helpless, blind old useless bat, and would like to reiterate how to feed a cat and administer eye drops.”
Arthur swiped blindly at his head with one hand, whilst the other he left planted on the wheel. “Should I text Morgana too, and have her check in on Gaius checking in on the cats?”
“Piss off.”
“Too bad she was too sick to come; I’d love to see Gwaine mixing it up with your relatives. Nobody would even notice you’re gay if Morgana had brought him.”
“Yes, I’m sure that would have gone well for everyone.”
Then Merlin changed the radio station, and they had a friendly dust-up, most of the remaining drive to Ripley, over the other’s objectively inferior taste in music; so that when they pulled up at The Boar’s Head where they would be staying, Arthur had almost forgot he was inevitably to see his father. Now the courtyard full of Pendragons brought it surging down on him, and he felt suddenly as overwhelmed as if they had converged on instead of glancingly glanced at the car. His whole body tightened; and the dread clash was in his chest, that brutal striving for life which in a fit man at an elevation the same as his native seems to herald the onset of death. He felt in the car in the middle of the day with no threat present but the threat of unpleasantness that he was carrying his doom. It was in his chest, where his breath had shortened, and quickened; all those impulses of the lizard brain which kept the cave dweller from being no more than some leftovers in his loincloth now were telling him that he would need to flee some pensioners in some church wear. His father was nowhere amongst them; but the possibility of him, the infinite possibility of if, was all round the car and beyond the car, where anything might happen to his heart.
And then Merlin said in the same voice he used with the animals, “Tell me five things you can see right now.”
“The steering wheel. My hand on the steering wheel. The door handle. The chip in the windshield. Your knee.”
“Five things you can feel?”
“The steering wheel under my hand. The seat under my legs. The air from the vents. The seat against my back. The steering wheel under my hand.”
“Five things you can hear?”
“Your breathing, your abysmal taste in music, the car engine, faint music outside the car, talking outside the car.”
“Four things you can see?”
And he walked him through the exercise like that, till they had got down to one item for each, and Arthur’s breathing was calmer. He flexed his stiff fingers on the steering wheel.
“It’ll be ok, Arthur. And if it’s not, I’ll headbutt some people, and we’ll leave.”
“Ok.” Arthur wiped his palms on his jeans.
Then they were out of the car, and Merlin said to the few friendly guests who found their arrival more interesting than their breakfast, “Hey; nice to meet you. Merlin. Really sorry, we’ll be down in a few minutes, yeah, I just need the loo really badly. Down from Emberford, yeah,” ushering Arthur through the crowd and into the Inn as deftly as he had ever done anything requiring motor skills. He had got the suits and the rucksacks out of the backseat, and kept himself now with their luggage between Arthur and any intrusives, using his dimples to plough a kind of furrow through to reception, so that everyone in his wake felt that they had been charmed instead of slighted.
In their room he threw down the suits and bags on the bed, and said, “It’s nice. Not very castle-y, though. Do you want me to make you some tea?”
“No. We should probably go back down and mingle for a bit before we need to change.”
“Do you want me to blow you?”
“That’s--” Arthur paused. He did not know what part of ‘go down and mingle’ Merlin had confused for a sex act; but now that he had Arthur’s brain had got just as muddled. He separated out, after a moment, what he wanted to say, from what his penis wanted him to say. “What part of ‘I probably shouldn’t pause long enough for tea’ suggested to you that I thought we had time for sex before going back down to visit with the other wedding guests?”
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