Tumgik
#okay not diving into that train of thoughts its 4 am i have to sleep
aashiqq · 1 month
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Even as someone who absolutely hates how the current hip-hop scene in our country works I must say I find it quite alluring
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Deep Blue Fantasy Part Five
Pairing: Merman!Tamaki Amajiki x fem!reader
Warnings: None (second-hand embarrassment?)
Author's Note:
So this one is the longest one so far. Maybe I could have edited it to be a little shorter, but I struggle to do that kind of thing (also I wanted to get started on the next part) so have this anyway. This one's a little goofy, but just please bear with me. 
I don't know what else to say.
Nnnngggg
-Sugar
✤✤✤✤✤
{Pt. 1}  {Pt. 2}  {Pt. 3}  {Pt. 4}  {Pt. 5}  {Pt. 6}  {Pt. 7}
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くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
"Hey. Hey, Tamaki, wake up."
Your voice floated into Tamaki's ears, causing him to awaken from his slumber. Light bled into his eyes as he blearily opened them, your face hovering above his. Cool hands laid expectantly on his shoulders, fresh from having shaken him. Tamaki sat up, attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes. It took him a moment to remember where he was, registering the feeling of air and gravity on his body.
"Come on," you excitedly whispered, stepping back. "I want to show you something."
Tamaki threw his legs over the side of the bed, making sure he had good footing before walking up next to you. He was surprised at how quickly he was learning to walk, each occasion of getting to his feet becoming easier with practice.
You grabbed his hand in yours, making Tamaki's heart jump, and pulled him through the halls and out into the dawn, the sun barely visible on the horizon. The former merman had seen the sunrise before, usually while he waited for you to turn up on your beach, but there was something so incredibly new and different about seeing it here; on land, with you. You stood at his side, your hand clutched in his. Grass poked at the bottoms of his feet, and there was a feeling of overall warmth he simply wasn't used to; his body no longer perpetually encased by the cold sea.
He followed you as you pulled him along, traipsing over a moderately worn path. The familiar sound of crashing waves met his ears as the path began to slope down. Finally, he saw it. The ocean, but this time, from the vantage point of the black-sand beach. You continued to lead him, his toes hitting fine sand. He had never felt dry sand before, and Tamaki was suddenly overcome with the urge to bend down and sink his hands in it. He didn't stop though, letting you take him as far as you dared.
"This is where I found you," you finally said, halting and pointing to a general area on the ground.
Tamaki glanced at where you pointed and then out to sea, his eyes scanning over the familiar rocks that jutted from the violent waves. I found you here too.
"I come out to this beach every morning," you continued. "It's kind of my routine. I like to take little walks over here. There's just something about the sea . . . it relaxes me. Don't you think it's beautiful?"
Tamaki nodded, his eyes dropping to look at your face. There was a soft, lovely expression upon it as you looked out at the water, your gaze following the crest of the waves as white sea foam flew up and out of the nearly black waters. Tamaki suddenly wished your roles could be reversed; maybe take you into the sea, which you so loved, as his mermaid, diving together into the dark depths until the end of time. A part of him wondered what would happen if he put his necklace over your head. Probably nothing, since it was only enchanted to give a merperson human legs, but still.
"I'll admit a little something to you, but you have to promise to keep it secret." Your voice jarred him out of his thoughts.
"Okay," he answered. "You know how good I am at keeping secrets."
He nervously laughed with you at his attempt at a joke, the humor helping to ease a bit of tenseness he wasn't even aware had begun to build up in his shoulders.
"Okay, so, when I come up here," you continued, "sometimes I like to sing into the breeze. You know, just let my voice carry out into the ocean. Crazy right?"
"How is that crazy?" Tamaki asked, his throat bobbing in anticipation. This was what he'd been waiting for, a chance to hear you up close.
You shrugged, your smile a little embarrassed. "I don't know. It's not like there's anyone around to hear."
He had been around to hear, and he'd thought you sounded lovely. "Can I listen to you?"
You blushed, unused to having an established audience for your music. Nevertheless, you began to hum, warming up your vocal cords. Tamaki had heard you sing this particular tune before, and he listened intently as words began to pour from your throat.
Mersong doesn't have lyrics, per se. There was still usually a meaning behind their music, but never anything like Tamaki heard now. You sang of the ocean and the moon, of a foreign yet familiar longing for times long gone.
Your voice was clear, soaring and falling effortlessly within your chest. Tamaki could only listen on in awe as your song began to conclude, a light blush present on your cheeks.
You were so beautiful then. Tamaki couldn't help but notice it. With your signature delicate circlet placed lightly on your head, the sea air lightly tousling your (H/T) hair, your plush lips still parted as you drew out a final, gentle hum . . . . It was almost too much for him.
He suddenly remembered the object he'd tucked into his pocket the night before. Tamaki reached down and pulled it out, keeping his eyes trained on you. Your gaze was currently locked on the ocean, silently watching the waves advance and retreat on the sand. Tamaki's movements however made you turn back to him, about to nervously ask what he'd thought of your spontaneous private concert. Instead, Tamaki was currently slowly placing a sponge on the top of his head, eyes locked on you.
He brought his hands back down, staring as if waiting for your reaction, crimson heavy on his cheeks. You just stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out what the heck he was doing.
At your silence, Tamaki finally bit his lip, glancing away. Were you rejecting him? He was probably being too forward. Was this too soon for you? Why weren't you saying anything?
"Tamaki?" you finally questioned.
He reached up, sheepishly taking it off. You wouldn't stop staring at him. What had he done wrong? Another part of the custom suddenly worked its way back into his mind.
As a last resort, Tamaki tossed the sponge at you. The squishy material bounced squarely off your nose, and you jumped back in surprise.
"What the—!"
"I'm sorry!"
"Okay, what was that?" You gently touched your nose with the tips of your fingers. Not because it had hurt you, but more to solidify to yourself what just happened.
"I um, I—I'm sorry!" he said again.
"Where did you even—why would you—?" You were so flustered you could scarcely form a coherent sentence.
Tamaki stopped short. Did you not know what it meant? You looked just as confused as he was, if not more.
"Was my singing that bad?" you asked, half-joking, trying to process what was going on.
"N-no! Your song was so beautiful a-and so was your voice! It's just—oh, I've ruined everything—!" Tamaki hid his face in his hands, wishing he could disappear. Maybe he could jump back in the ocean and you would forget he ever existed.
"So that happened," you said, trying to piece together what he might have been trying to do.
"L-look, just . . . forget I did that." Tamaki decided he'd try a different means to ask you out, and possibly later.
"Alright."
Tamaki peeked out from between his fingers. You bent down and picked up the sponge from the ground.
You narrowed your eyes at it, and then looked back up at Tamaki. "Did you get this from the bathroom?"
"Uhh . . . yes."
"Why are you carrying around one of my sponges?"
"I—I want you to like me." Tamaki shifted his fingers so they covered his eyes again.
"So you threw a sponge at me."
"Yes."
You squinted at him, more perplexed than ever. "Is this just one of your 'I'm not going to tell you who I am' things?"
"Uh, yeah."
You sighed, giving the offending object in your fist a few quick squeezes. "Okay, then. I'll take your word for it."
Tamaki peeked out again. "You're not mad?"
You shook your head, looking back down at the sand. "I just wish I could get to know you." You turned on your heel, making your way back to your home. Tamaki stood there for a moment, letting you put some distance between yourselves before following after you. None of this was working as he had expected, and now he had no idea how to fix it.
I have to tell her. That's what she wants.
He sped up, falling into step with you.
"I'm sorry if I offended you," he said.
"It's fine. What were you trying to say?"
Tamaki took his lip between his teeth again. "Your voice is so pretty . . . . I don't know."
You smiled softly. "Thanks, I guess. I don't normally sing in front of people. Don't normally have sponges thrown at me either . . . . Is that . . . normal where you come from?"
"Yeah."
"Huh. I've never heard of it. I guess we do the same with flowers."
"You do?"
"Yeah." You glanced over and noticed Tamaki still looked troubled. "I'm not mad," you assured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I think I understand."
Fear shot through Tamaki's eyes. "You do?"
"Well, I'm trying. It would help if you could tell me." You nudged him.
Tamaki sighed. "It's a long story."
You pushed your lips to the side, thinking. "Hmm. How about I show you how to make bread? That's a long process. We can talk while we do that. Sound good?"
Tamaki looked up eagerly. He had been intrigued by your talk of bread and anticipated seeing how it was made, especially if you were involved. "Yeah, that's great."
"It's settled then. I'll learn more about you, and you can learn about bread making!"
You led him back to the chateau, taking him swiftly down to the kitchens. Tamaki noticed that Gabriel was nowhere to be seen, which was a relief to him. He could talk freely around you without having to worry about the man overhearing.
You grabbed two fruits from a basket and handed one to Tamaki. It was spherical and red, and he heard a crunching noise as you bit into yours. He decided to do the same, finding the white flesh on the inside to be quite enjoyably sweet.
You bent below the counter, grabbing a book from a cabinet below. Still taking bites from your apple, you began to flip through the pages, looking for your favorite bread recipe.
Once you had located the page, you began to pull out the ingredients: flour, yeast, salt, and a cup for water. You let the water heat over an open flame encased in stone, waiting a minute before removing it and sprinkling some yeast into the cup. You took a spoon and stirred it gently, finally moving it aside for it to set.
"So," you said, crossing your arms and leaning against the counter. "Mind telling me what the deal is with you?"
"You're going to think I'm crazy—"
"You threw a sponge at me this morning. I already think you're crazy. Besides, we can't do anything until the yeast bubbles, so you have five minutes to get started."
Starting? Where could he even start? And five minutes . . . all he needed was one sentence really. Tamaki tried to recall what he had rehearsed the night before, finally deciding on one path.
"It's true, that I've never been on land," he said.
You squinted at him, eager to hear what he had to say yet quietly wondering how that could be possible.
"You see, I've never left the ocean before. That's because I—I'm not exactly human."
Your eyebrows pulled together, not certain if you should believe him but still intrigued. "So what are you?" you asked.
"I'm a part of a species," he went on, "a sort of mer-people. I've never had legs before, just a tail—"
"You're a merman?!" you asked, incredulous.
Tamaki blinked. "You've heard of us?"
"In legends and stories, yes. But you're not really considered a recognized species. Most people don't even believe they exist; just an old sailors' tale." You paused, beginning to process what he'd told you. "Wait a second. How do I know you're telling the truth?"
Tamaki gulped. "I could show you if you like, but I'd rather not. Growing legs really really hurt. So much so that I kinda passed out. Washed ashore . . . ."
"Oh my gods," you whispered. "But how? How did you just grow legs?"
Tamaki pulled the shell necklace out of his shirt, showing it to you. "This necklace here. I'm borrowing it from a mermaid. All I have to do is wear it and I have legs."
You rested your fingers against your mouth and chin, going back to mulling over what he had just relayed to you. "You know," you muttered, "it makes sense."
"Huh?"
"Everything makes sense now. Normally, I would call you crazy, but I mean, your original story barely even checked out at all. But now this? It makes much more sense. You were naked, you can't walk, you don't barely even know how to take care of yourself . . . ."
Tamaki winced at that. Geez, you could at least try to be more oblique.
He could practically see your mind racing as it looked as though you mentally replayed every interaction you'd had with him the day before. It made him uncomfortable, wanting to do the same just to see how badly he might have embarrassed himself.
"But why?" you asked, turning to look at him again. "Why would you want to leave the ocean?"
Tamaki blushed, knowing now that he wasn't ready to confess his crush on you. "I-I heard you singing, on one of your morning walks to the beach. I'd never seen a human before, and I wanted to get a closer look."
You lent him a small smile. "You could have just swum up to me. You didn't need legs to come and say hi."
"Well, your beach is really rough," Tamaki said, earning a hum from you in agreement. "Besides, we don't even speak the same language."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Yes, but that's the side effect of this necklace. I can understand your language, and you can understand me. But only you can hear me. I think everyone else just kind of hears nonsense when I try to talk to them."
"Why?"
"Because you were the first human to touch me after I put it on."
"That's strangely specific."
Tamaki shrugged helplessly. He didn't make the rules.             (⌐■‿■)
"I guess it explains why you didn't want to talk to Gabriel. And also why Brianne wouldn't get off my back about how creepy you are—"
"She what?"
"Nevermind." You paused to shake your head. "So how do the merpeople talk?" you asked. "What does it sound like?"
Tamaki tapped his fingers together. "It doesn't quite sound like anything, exactly. We use sign language primarily, but we can also sort of make little pinging noises and such."
"Ohh, that makes sense, since voices don't really work underwater." You nodded, catching on to what he was saying. You glanced over to your yeast cup, which had begun to bubble nicely. You added a good scooping pinch of salt to the mix, along with some more water before mixing it together well. "So why didn't you just tell me in the first place?" you asked, placing a bowl on the counter and measuring out a few cups of flour into it.
Tamaki chewed on his lip. "I didn't think you'd accept me."
You frowned to yourself as you added the liquid mixture, beginning to stir it in with the flour. "Well, I guess I would have had a hard time believing you."
Tamaki focused on your mixture in the bowl, watching as it combined into a sticky mass. "Besides, I'm really not supposed to be here," he said.
"What do you mean?"
"Being among humans, turning into one; it's kinda illegal."
"Ohh." You started to strain a bit as the dough got more difficult to stir, putting as much arm strength as you could into keeping it moving. "So this kind of thing has happened before? Mermaids turning into people?"
"Um, nothing I've really heard of. Do you want help?"
"I've got it," you said. "The dough is pretty much ready anyway."
"I thought you said it took a long time."
"Oh, no. This is just the first part." You paused for a moment, a thought striking you. "You've never had bread before." It was more of a statement than a question.
Tamaki suddenly felt a bit defensive. "So?"
"There wouldn't be any way to bake it underwater, much less keep it dry." You looked back to him. "This is so cool! It's like you're from a completely different world than me."
"I am," Tamaki admitted. "I've already learned so much from being here."
"I can teach you even more," you said excitedly. "All you have to do is ask."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I get to hear about your home too, right?"
"Sure."
You beamed at him, finally ceasing in your dough mixing. "I'll start with bread baking. Sadly, we can't really get started for another twenty minutes because this has to rise."
As you waited, you began to explain yeast and how it worked. When you finished, you caught his gaze again.
"So the sponge this morning."
Tamaki blushed all over again, hiding his face in his hands. "I have a feeling I should not have done that."
"I just want to know what it meant."
Tamaki was too embarrassed to say. "I—I just really liked your singing."
"Well, thank you. But why were you carrying it around?"
Tamaki frantically tried to think of an answer. "It's, uh, a merman thing."
"Oh."
The two of you started to truly converse, exchanging information about yourselves with each other. When it was time, you split the dough in half and showed Tamaki how to pound his fists into the risen concoction. You watched as he awkwardly attempted to roll it between his hands and the counter, glancing over to you every so often in order to try to copy your technique. Eventually, he started to get the hang of it, pushing and pulling in a similar manner to your own practiced hands.
You noticed that something odd was starting to happen to you every time you looked at Tamaki. This feeling towards him was in no way foreign to you. You'd laid awake last night, unable to think about anything other than him. There was no way for you to deny that you'd begun to take interest in the new boy. You liked how he seemed so genuine, and his sweet, awkward nature had yet to fail to make your heart stutter. And the way he treated you; like you were any other person. There was no over the top groveling, no awkward attempts at trying to impress you. With Tamaki, you scarcely felt like you were bound to duties and a title at all. The secret-keeping had put you off, but now that you knew why . . . .
He was a merman. Wow. Were you really starting to develop a crush on a mythical creature? Granted, you hadn't known he was a mythical creature, and there was no reason for you to think otherwise until now. How would it even work . . . ?
"Uh, (Y/N)?"
Your fist suddenly punched the counter, completely missing the dough you had been absentmindedly aiming for. You hissed as a dull ache spread through the side of your hand, looking at it disappointedly as if it had betrayed you.
"Yeah?" you finally answered Tamaki, turning to look at him.
"Are you . . . alright?"
He was so cute, looking so concerned. The way his eyebrows had lightly pulled together, the way his lips ever so slightly dipped down at the corners and pursed in the middle.
"Y-yeah. Just . . . thinking." you glanced back down to your dough.
"Oh."
"I think we can start getting it ready to bake now," you said, trying to shake the thoughts out of your head.
There was no way Tamaki could be interested in you. Maybe he viewed you as a friend, sure, but you were just a human. A very important human. A princess, whose hand should probably be reserved as an asset for some kind of treaty or land agreement. Falling in love with the first boy who'd walked through your door and paid attention to you was foolish. And yet, a small part of you wondered how much it could truly hurt if you only let yourself have a little crush for a short while . . . .
You helped Tamaki shape his dough into a vague loaf shape, doing the same to yours before sliding them both onto a thin pan and making adjustments where necessary, finally cutting thin slits into the top.
"Now what?" Tamaki asked.
"We bake," you stated simply. You grabbed the pan off the counter and slid it in, making sure the fire below was warm enough before finally shutting the oven door. "And that, Tamaki," you said, "is how you make bread."
"Wow." Tamaki looked around at the now messy kitchen. "So how long does it have to stay in there?"
"Like half an hour. Here, help me clean up before Gabriel comes back to make lunch."
The two of you went back to conversing as you wiped flour off the counter top and rinsed out the bowls you'd used. He was a very interesting person—er, merman. He had a lot to say about the way you lived on land, comparing it to his own home. You couldn't help but listen, completely enraptured by what he had to say. You imagined the sense of wonder you felt hearing about his way of life was the same he felt learning about yours. He and you asked each other questions relentlessly, hoping to gain simple, beautiful understanding.
Not only did he ask about humans in general, he wanted to learn more about you. You explained more of your hobbies and talked about the islands. You didn't live on this one usually; Milrich was merely a temporary living situation more in the benefits of your father. Somertaugue was your true home, the main, larger island where you were born and grew up. Tamaki asked you to describe the island, wanting every detail of the different features land could offer.
"Well," you said, "the islands are all pretty similar composition wise. Now the mainland is where it really gets beautiful." You started explaining forests and deserts, mountains and valleys. Tamaki's eyes grew wide at your descriptions, occasionally interrupting with an attempted parallel to the sea, or merely an astonished 'oh'.
You were so engrossed in your conversation, you nearly forgot about your bread, slowly rising and hardening in the oven beside you. You pulled the loaves out and set them on the counter, tapping the crusts gingerly. "I think they're done. They'll have to cool, but guess what."
"What?"
"You just made bread." You held out your hand for a high five, only realizing at his brief hesitation that he had just learned what it was yesterday. Nevertheless, he slapped his hand against yours. You liked the feeling of his touch, even if it was only brief. You both easily slid back into your conversation, slicing yourselves a piece of bread when it was cooled, enjoying what was arguably the best loaf you'd ever made.
✤✤✤✤✤
Tamaki gazed out the window of the study room, enjoying his view of the sea. You sat quietly at your desk, doing your reading for the day. He had finally admitted to being unable to read your written script, and you had promised to teach him once some of your own work was out of the way.
While he waited, he watched the dark waters of the ocean crash against the beach, foam spraying into the air as waves collided with the familiar black rocks. Tamaki had never realized how entrancing the sea was from the surface, water moving back and forth endlessly against the shore. He'd been staring at it for quite some time, lost in thought when something new caught his eye.
An all too familiar head of blond hair had poked out of the water, an iridescent greenish-blue tail flicking around after it. Tamaki jolted at the sight. Mirio? What was he thinking?
"(Y/N)?" Tamaki called behind his shoulder.
"Mmm?" you answered, barely pulled out of your working zone.
"Can you . . . excuse me for a minute?"
"Sure . . . ." You tapped the end of your pen against your lip, not even glancing up to meet Tamaki's eyes.
He didn't pay attention to this fact, though. He was more concerned with his merman friend splashing around in broad daylight for no apparent reason. What if there was a reason? Tamaki's mind began to race as he hurriedly left your room and made his way down the halls, frantically searching for the door to the outside. Fortunately, he found it within a matter of minutes and slipped out of it, taking to the path you had shown him earlier that morning.
The sound of the ocean filled his ears as he neared the shore. Sure enough, looking out at the water, it wasn't long before his eyes found what he'd seen moments before from the window.
A tail had flashed out of the deeper waters a ways out from the beach, and seconds later, Tamaki saw a head pop out where it had previously been. An arm cheerily surfaced and waved upon spotting the form on shore, clearly missing the panicked expression his friend suddenly sported.
The dark haired man tried to send out a ping, but quickly realized that humans didn't work that way. He tried for a whistle, and that seemed to work. He made it sharp and urgent, borderline annoyed.
Mirio's hand lowered in the water and Tamaki could make out a hint of confusion on his face from afar.
Tamaki mentally cursed the dangerous layout of the beach. He wanted to be able to talk to his best friend in private without being so far apart (the 2020 mood).
He saw Mirio point to Tamaki's right, motioning for him to follow while he dived underwater again. Tamaki began to walk along the shore, trying to move over the land as quickly and safely as he could. He saw Mirio's head pop out of the water every so often to make sure he was following.
After about twenty minutes of clambering over rocks and tramping through long grass, Tamaki found that Mirio had led him to an area of the shore where the sea was a little quieter, and the rocks weren't so concentrated.
Mirio swam as close as he dared, fearing getting stuck too close to shore. Tamaki further closed the distance by cautiously venturing into the water, wincing at how nigh unbearably cold it was.
Waves now slapped against the bottoms of his pants, and Tamaki wondered briefly how far he should dare to venture before they would knock him over. If worse came to worst, he could always take off the necklace again, but the memory of the pain from the day before made him hesitant. He decided to just anchor his feet into the sand as best he could, feeling himself sink into the soft granules below.
Mirio's head bobbed in the water a meter away from Tamaki, finally looking him up and down for the first time.
Look at you! he signed, dipping his face under the water to try to catch a better glimpse of his feet and toes, which by now were covered by a fine layer of wet black sand. Tamaki jumped at the sensation of a hand grabbing at the sensitive skin of his foot, nearly falling backwards into the water as it was yanked towards Mirio's face. He finally popped back up again, looking incredibly impressed. So the necklace really worked, huh?
It sure did. Tamaki was relieved to find that even in this human form, he was still able to communicate with his merman friend.
So, began Mirio, how's it going? Did you meet her yet? Did you confess? Is she all yours?
Tamaki frantically shook his wrists, trying to quell the increasing onslaught of questions spilling from Mirio's hands. I just told her I'm a merman, Tamaki answered. She seemed pretty chill with it.
Awesome! Mirio happily swished his tail around in the water, only causing rougher and larger waves to wash over Tamaki's legs.
Tamaki threw his hands out, trying to stay balanced as salt water splashed up onto his chest.
Sorry, man, the blond said, stilling himself to the best of his ability. What's it like having legs anyway? They're so small. Mirio briefly ducked back down to poke at them.
It's certainly different. Everything up here is so strange to me. Mirio, you can't even imagine all the interesting things I've learned about humans!
Tamaki went on for quite some time, relaying the events of the past two days he'd spent with you. The entire time, Mirio's eyes remained glued to Tamaki's hands, fascinated with what he had to tell. Once he was done, Mirio put his chin in one of his hands, mulling over what Tamaki had said.
Sounds like she's interested, he finally ruled. So you haven't tried anything yet?
Um, well . . . . Tamaki's face reddened and he tapped his fingers together, cringing at what he'd done. I, uh, offered her a sponge this morning.
YOU DID?! Mirio launched himself at Tamaki's legs, wrapping his arms around them in an excited embrace.
He lost his balance, crashing down into the frigid water. It was only now that Tamaki noticed how cold his feet were getting, and now almost the entire lower half of his body was numb. He stood up again, sputtering and trying to wipe water out of his eyes.
Mirio looked up at him, a little surprised at his response. Gee, sorry, man. I guess humans really aren't meant to be in the water at all.
Well, I almost died the moment I became one. Tamaki quickly checked under his shirt to make sure the necklace was still securely around his neck.
Yeah . . . . But you gave her a sponge? Mirio asked, recovering quickly to jump back into the previous topic.
Yes.
How did it go? She had to have liked that!
Erm, well . . . I don't think humans do that.
Aw, what?
Yeah, I might have actually kind of offended her.
Mirio frowned, dumbfounded as to why you wouldn't appreciate Tamaki's sponge offering. But you threw it at her and everything?
I think that that was what she didn't like.
Mirio shook his head. Wild. So what do humans like?
See! I don't know! She mentioned something about flowers. Maybe I could try those?
What are flowers? Mirio squinted at him.
They're like plant thingies. They come in all different types of colors and shapes.
Like shells? Ooh, you should get her shells.
Oh, that's a good idea . . . . Tamaki thought for a moment. I haven't seen any, but it's not like I've been looking. An abrupt shiver racked through Tamaki's body.
You good, man? Mirio asked, suddenly looking a little concerned.
Yeah, just cold. I think I might need to get going anyway, she'll probably be looking for me.
Okay.
And don't splash around in the water! Someone could have seen you. I saw you from up the cliff and I wasn't even looking for you.
Oops, sorry. Mirio edged forward enough to give Tamaki's leg a pat, however, this time it was far more gentle. It sounds like you're doing just fine. I guess I'll leave you to it.
It was nice to see you, Mirio.
No problem. Mirio backed himself up. See you soon! He turned and waved before diving back into the sea, swimming off in the direction of home.
Tamaki shivered again, clutching his arms around his chest. He could see why humans had little interest in going into this water. With the waves assisting him, Tamaki was able to trudge his way to shore quite easily. The sun was starting to set behind him, so he made sure to hurry back to your place as soon as he could.
Tamaki made it back within the next half hour. The guard positioned at the entrance of the chateau recognized him from the day before and let him in. He wandered through the halls, trying to see if he could find either his or your room from memory. Rounding a corner, he suddenly came face to face with you.
"Tamaki!" You jumped, startled, but then surged forward to pull him into a hug. "Where were you?" You pulled away, concern and confusion written all over your face. "And why are you so cold and damp? And you smell like—wait, were you just in the ocean right now?"
"Um, yeah." Tamaki rubbed at the back of his neck. He probably should have told you where he was headed, but the sight of Mirio had caught him so off guard . . . .
"Don't you know how dangerous that is?!" you scolded. "Although I guess you are a merman, that's right. But you were alone! And I didn't know where you got off to—!" You huffed, clearly upset.
Tamaki awkwardly placed a hand on your shoulder. "I'm sorry I made you worry."
"Sorry?" you bit back. "You're not a prisoner here or anything, but I'd thought you would at least tell me if you left." It almost looked like a dampness was starting to pool in the corners of your eyes.
"I did," Tamaki stated simply. "My friend was just outside and I had to get him to stop thrashing around in the water in plain sight like that. I didn't mean to be gone so long."
"Your friend?" Your glistening eyes looked back up into his face.
"Yeah. He just wanted to see how I was doing."
"Oh. Was it Mirio?"
Tamaki nodded. He had brought up his best friend while he was talking to you earlier.
You sighed, shoulders finally losing their rigid hold. "I guess I understand. It's just that I looked up and you were gone and I realized it had been a while . . . ."
"You were worried about me?" Tamaki couldn't help but smile a little on the inside.
"Of course I was! I like you, Tamaki. I like talking to you." You swallowed and dropped your gaze to the floor.
Was it just his imagination, or did your face suddenly look a little red?
He shivered a little where he stood, and you noticed. "Come on," you finally said. "Let's at least get you warmed up."
"Okay."
You walked with him side by side all the way back to his room.
"I really am sorry to have worried you," Tamaki said, the thick silence between the both of you making him uncomfortable.
"It's alright. As long as you're okay."
As long as he was okay . . . .
"Still friends?" Tamaki asked.
"Of course."
...
To be continued . . . .
くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡くコ:彡
[Part Six]
Author's Note:
Me: *Casually writes 6k-word chapter about sponges and bread for a fanfic* This is fine (< W >)
Sorry if the whole bread thing got kinda boring, I might have gotten a little bit carried away. Yes, I did look up a bread recipe, and no, I have never legit baked bread before (we have a bread machine, fancy fancy, so that's really nice).
Also, I am NOT crazy about the whole sponge thing. I literally went down a rabbit hole googling how dolphins and sharks "flirt" with each other (RIP my search history) for like an hour and I totally recommend looking it up for yourself, it's actually quite interesting. I'd link the articles but Wattpad doesn't like that so yeah.
Have a nice day/evening/night!
-Sugar
Taglist: 
@inumorph​ @engel-hageshii​ @milkteeboba​ @pansexual-potterhead​ @ure-a-sunflower​ @xeina​ @kingtamakimurder​ @basicaegyo​ @iiminibattlehero​ @pyrofanatic​​ @sokkasangel​ @xoxopam4​
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kenobis-kyber · 3 years
Text
From The Stars
Here is the next installment. This was a hard one to write since it deals with domestic violence. If you are uncomfortable with the subject then I urge you to skip this chapter. If you or someone you know is suffering this please get help.
Rating: M for descriptions of domestic violence
Chapter 7
Both Vanessa and Obi were in the garage as she was opening a box. He peered inside and said. “What’s all this then?” he asked looking at all the spiderwebs, pumpkins and other strange adornments.
Vanessa looked up from the box she was digging into. “Its Halloween decorations. We are gonna decorate the house, dress up in costumes watch scary movies and hand out candy to trick or treaters on Halloween night.”
He quirked his eyebrow at her with a confused look on his face. She sighed and explained about halloweeen
“….. and then the kids come dressed up in whatever costume they wish, knock on the door, say ‘Trick or Treat’ and we hand them a candy.
“Interesting...” he said while stroking his chin
“I promise you will enjoy it.” she said tapping him on the nose. He picked her up in a bear hug and she let out a squeal.
“I will enjoy anything as long as it is with you.” he said then planted a kiss on her lips.
“Such a charmer….now put me down dammit!”
“Why? I rather enjoy having you up here.” he said cheekily then planting another kiss on her lips., before putting her down. They went about decorating to get ready for the holiday.
Halloween Night….
He honestly felt ridiculous in this costume, all dressed in black. Fake fangs and a dribble of fake blood down the corner of his mouth. A vampire, more like looking like a Sith Lord. He sighed and remembered that this was for her and if she wanted to dress up then he would. Even the dog had a cape to be a little vampire himself. He went into the kitchen and filled the bowl with candy like Vanessa had asked him to. He heard the door open to her room and looked as she came into the kitchen. His jaw dropped. She had high healed boots that led up to leather pants hugging all her curves, a frilly top with a corset that pushed her cleavage up. Around her neck a choker and her makeup was done flawlessly and mysterious. Her eyes were changed to a stark white and she wore fangs like him and her hair flowed down her back and shoulders.
“By the maker! You look stunning!” he exclaimed giving her another once over and trying not to stare at the round mounds sticking up above the corset. He licked his lips and she grinned.
“So you like it?”
“Like it? I love it!” he said wrapping his arms around her waist. He was about to kiss her lips when the door bell rang. She grabbed the bowl full of candy and he followed behind her. Opening the door she saw 4 kids in costume exclaiming ‘Trick or Treat!’ She cooed over the costumes while she handed out the candy before the kids thanked her and went on their way. Obi loved seeing this side of her and couldn’t help himself looking at the kids himself. They were really happy with their treats.
“This is actually fun.” Obi said with an amused smile.
They took turns handing out the candy in between watching scary movies. They had such a great time together and will definitely be one of their best memories. The night began to wind down and they washed their faces of the makeup. Obi decided to go take a shower and told her so.
“Okay enjoy.” she said with a kiss on his cheek. He went into the shower and she smiled feeling like the luckiest woman in the world. Her thoughts were interrupted a few minutes later by her doorbell ringing. Thinking it was odd that there were trick or treaters so late. She sighed and grabbed the bowl of candy to hand out. She opened the door and all the blood drained from her face and she dropped the bowl, candy spilling over all the floor.
“Hello baby. Did you miss me?” the man said with an evil grin.
“Simon….” she trailed off, shocked that her ex husband was there. She stared into his green eyes unable to form any words.
“I still leave you speechless huh?” He reached out and grabbed her quickly and covered her mouth before she could scream. He dragged her to the woods behind her house.
“I've been waiting for this day. To be reunited with my gorgeous wife. That's why I behaved so well, so I can come back to you.” She started to cry in fear of what might happen to her. “Oh none of that now. You are gonna be my good girl aren't you? You're gonna behave like I trained you.” He removed his hand to put tape over her mouth to keep her quiet. He made his way to a clearing, she realized it was the same one that she found Obi Wan in. She threw her on the ground and pinned her down with his body but she tried to shove him off of her.
He slapped her hard, “WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU?! YOU ARE GOING TO BEHAVE LIKE A GOOD WIFE SHOULD!” He brought out a knife and pressed to her throat. She stared at him in fear and he cut her shallowly before reaching down to start cutting away her clothes. She tried to kick at him next and he punched her. He grabbed her harshly by her hair and forced her to look at him. Her cry of pain was muffled by the tape as she was forced to look at him. “Now I am going to take what I am owed. After all you belong to me and will always belong to me,” he whispered sinister in her ear. He gave her a wicked grin as he brought himself harder against her.
Obi-wan had just gotten out of the shower and made his way out to the hallway and called out to Vanessa. He heard no response and made his way to the living room. He saw no sign of her, but what worried him the most was seeing the candy bowl on the floor with its contents all over the floor. Hershey was barking and scratching at the door with to the backyard wanting to be let out. Letting the dog out he barreled into the forest, and Obi chased after him. A little while later he heard Hershey furiously growling and barking. He ran towards the noise and when he got to where he heard it from he was filled with rage from the sight. He shoved the man off of her. The man got up brandishing the knife and pointing it him.
“Well what is this? A new boyfriend?” and kicked her hard in the ribs. Her cries were muffled and tears streamed down her face as she looked desperately at Obi Wan. “Didn't she tell you she is mine. Always will be.” Simon started to walk towards him with a dangerous look in his eye.
“I think not.” Obi used the force to knock the knife out of his hand and then dived to knock him over. The men fought on the ground with a series of punches. All Vanessa could do was watch helplessly.  Finally Obi got the upper hand and pinned him down landing blow after blow effectively knocking him out. Breathing hard he turned to Vanessa who was a bit exposed. He reached over and took the tape off of her mouth and then brought him in his arms.
“Oh my darling. I am so sorry. I promised to protect you and I failed. Did he do anything else to you?” he said cupping her face between his hands. He could see her eye swollen shut, a bruised nose which looked to be broken, a cut lip and an angry red mark on her cheek where he had hit her.
“No” she cried and threw her arms around him and winced. He held her as the sobs rocked her body.
“Come on, love. We got to call the authorities.” he picked her up bridal style trying to be as tender as possible so as to not hurt her any further. Hershey followed. They got to the house and he laid her on the couch, then called 911.
The cops and an ambulance arrived a little while later.  They loaded her in the ambulance to check her out in the hospital. While they were doing that he saw them loading Simon into the back of a police vehicle.
He sat in the waiting room while she got checked out. An officer came up to him and asked his name.
“Ben….Ben Kenobi.”
Obi went on to explain his side of the story leaving out the use of the force for obvious reasons. They took everything down and guaranteed that Simon would not be getting out. He breathed a sigh of relief.
“You should get those cuts cleaned up yourself young man.” and led him to the back behind a curtain.
They cleaned him up and sent him back out to wait for Vanessa. Awhile later which seemed like an eternity for him, she emerged with a fresh t shirt and a pair of sweats.
“Cmon darling. Lets get you home.”
She still looked as white as a ghost but she cuddled into him as he led her outside to wait for an uber to take them home. When they arrived Hershey greeted them at the door and followed them to the room. Obi pulled back the covers and laid her down. As he tucked her in Hershey jumped up on the foot of the bed. Content that she was safe he started to leave.
“Obi...” her voice came to her ears softly.
“Yes love?” he said turning to face her and looking at her with tender eyes.
“Will you please stay with me?” she asked faintly.
“Of course,” he said while making his way to the other side of the bed. He sat down and removed his shoes before crawling under the covers with her. She moved closer to him and nestled her face into his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and planted a kiss on her forehead.
“I was so scared and I froze up. It felt like a bad dream. Like I had never escaped in the first place. But you saved me. My guardian from the heavens.” she said then started to cry.
“My darling girl I am sorry I didn't get to you sooner. But I am here and I am not going anywhere.” he said while running his fingers through her hair. She looked up at him and gently kissed him before going to her former spot. He stroked her back and soon hear her breathing slowing into a sleep.
He felt so guilty that he had tapped into anger, dangerously close to the dark side. But it was a righteous anger. The woman he loved was being hurt, he needed to protect her. All these thoughts ran through his head. Soon the warmth of her body, safe and sound, next to him caused him to drift into a deep sleep.
The Next Day…
She slowly opened her eyes and saw she was in her room, safe and sound. Hearing a soft snoring she turned her head to see who it was. Nestled cozily against the pillow her loyal dog was there. She smiled faintly “Hey Boy,” to which he sat up and wagged his tail. She tried to set up and was assaulted by a shooting pain in her ribs. At hearing her grunt the dog leapt off of the bed and run out of the room. A minute or two later Obi-Wan came into the room and walked over to her side of the bed and kneeled down to be level with her.
“Hello there,” he said while gently stroking her hair.
“Hey,” she said hoarsely.
“Anything I can get you? Are you hungry?”
“A little but I would like to wash up first, she said while trying to get up. She grunted and grimaced while he tried to help her sit up.
“How about I run you a bath.”
She nods, and with a smile Obi got up and made his way to the bathroom. She sighed to herself as he ran the bath. The images of the night before played in her head and she was upset. She questioned why this happened to her, and how did he find her. Her thoughts were interrupted by him coming back to the room.
“Its all set to go,” he said reaching out to help her up. “I put a fresh towel and a robe for you,” walking her to the restroom. “Just call me if you need any help,” and pecked her on the lips before leaving to the living room. She gingerly started to strip and she was about to step into the bathtub before she caught of glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her eyes was swollen and black, the side of her face had a bruise, but worst of all was the bruises and scrapes up and down her torso. She saw the worst was her ribs, almost broken they said, but horrible looking.  She collapsed to the floor and sobbed.
The jedi sat on the couch going over everything that went on last night. He felt so heartbroken for her but most of all he felt guilt. He rescued her so to speak but not soon enough before he left her with wounds and bruises. To see her so fragile and beat up like that also made him furious. He had to calm himself before the anger took over. Taking a deep breath he suddenly felt a ripple in the force, so he got up to check on Vanessa. He got to the door and heard her sobbing. He knocked on the door and at first she didn't respond.
“Is everything all right?,” he asked hearing her sob.
“No.”
“Can I come in?” There was no response so he thought something may have happened to her. He came into the bathroom and saw her sobbing on the floor. Fearing that she might have fallen he went to go pick her up, but was met with a hard shove. He was totally caught off guard. She looked at him angrily and started shouting.
“LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!”
“Darling, what is the matter?!” he said his anxiety rising a bit from her acting like this.
She stood up slowly and turned to face him and continued yelling.
“FUCKING LOOK AT ME?! THIS IS WHAT I AM WORTH! NOBODY,  NOTHING. WHY DID I THINK ANYTHING WOULD BE ANY BETTER. AND THEN YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE AND GAVE ME HOPE!!” She started beating on his chest but instead of getting angry he just embraced her. She was wailing while her body shook in his arms. All he could do his hold her and try his best to calm her down. He cheated and sent her calming waves through the force. After a few minutes she calmed down and lifted her head to look at him. He cupped her head in his hands and leaned to plant a soft kiss on her bruised eye, then her bruised cheek. He sunk to his knees and gave each cut and bruise a gentle kiss paying special attention to her ribs. He realized she was stark naked but that was at the back of his mind. All he wanted to do is make sure she felt loved. He stood up and pulled her closer.
“You are beautiful to me no matter what,” and pressed a soft kiss on her lips. “Cmon let’s get you in the tub, yeah?”
She nodded her head and he grabbed her hand and helped her lower herself into the bathtub. Sighing at the warmth and relaxation. She closed her eyes and leaned back enjoy the comfort, but something was missing.
“Obi?” he heard her voice say as he was turning to leave. He turned and gave her his full attention. She stammered a bit “ I know this is...um… a weird request...but will you...well...get in here with me?” He quirked his eyebrow honestly shocked to hear that question out of her mouth especially so soon after her ordeal.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I need to feel you and be held by you.”
“Very well then.” He started taking off his shirt and she looked away shyly and let him continue his undressing while she scoot forward. Soon she felt him settle behind her with both of his legs on both sides of her body. She leaned back against him a let out a sigh of relief. “Better?” he asked as she turned her face to look up at him. She reached up and twirled his braid in her finger.
“Yes very much so.” They sat like that for a few more minutes before she sat up so he could wash her hair. His fingers felt so good and her anxiety seem to wash away. He reached over for the soap and wash cloth, beginning to gently wash her back. When he finished rinsing her off he planted soft kisses along her shoulder. Handing her the wash cloth so she could wash the front of her, slowly he ran his fingers down her back. He wanted her to feel safe and sound with him. When she was done washing she leaned back against him. His precense was so soothing and he made her feel special. In this small intimate act he could feel their bond growing, even if it scared him a little, he was happy.
He took his finger below her chin and lifted so he could see her face. He planted a soft kiss on her lips. Pulling away he looked deep into her eyes, “I want you to know that you are very special to me. I am so sorry for letting you down. But I promise I will be there for you.”
“Thank you Obi. You mean the world to me,” and she started a slow passionate kiss. After a light makeout session they both sat in silence content with the peace they had right now. After awhile the water began to get cold, so they got out and dried off. She was still sore as she got dressed, but Obi had prepared a delicious meal for them both. She wondered how she got so lucky. After that incident Obi started to stay in her room since she was plagued by nightmares and he held her and comforted her til she fell asleep. His heart ached for her and he felt helpless. But all he could do is be there for her.
What am I to do? She needs me more than ever. Why did this happen? Why didn’t I sense it?
Sighing to himself, he listened to her breathing even out as she clung to him. He would keep her safe. With that he fell asleep with the warmth of her beside him.
Tag List: @blondekel77 @supermoschi @princessxkenobi @ayamenimthiriel @lacontroller1991
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rzngokukyo · 4 years
Note
hi! i love your blog!! sorry if you're busy 👉👈 but could i make a request where mitsuri finds a girl (like 4 years younger when she became a pillar after a few months) and makes her a tsuguko and introduces her to the other pillars, then after a few years they developed feelings and haven't seen each other in so long bc of missions? reader also gets taller than mitsuri bc that would be so cute 🥺 thank you and have a good day!! ❤️❤️
WLW CONTENT THATS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE BABEY!!!
~~
~~
You were absolutely filthy, covered in head to toe with bruises, blood, sweat and dirt. It was late at night as you were on your way home from a mission, a demon had caught you off guard.
“Tch!” you clicked your tonuge and ran, you were in no postion to defend yourself at the moment. You needed an opening.
Wildly looking everywhere you spotted an opening between some trees. ‘ Looks like an open field might be there.’ You thought to yourself. Making a sharp turn, you ran towards it. The demon that was chasing had suddenly sped up, noticing you were looking for a better stance.
Turning your head to gauge where the demon was, you didn’t expect it to be right on top of you. “ Fuck!” You yelled out as the monstrous creature toppled you over. It had one hand on your neck and the other high in the air, about to strike at your throat.
“Breath of Love: First Form!” Your eyes went wide as you spotted a blur of pink above the demon. “Shivers of Love!”
Everything moved in slow motion. You watched as the pink haired woman sliced the demons neck, its head rolling onto the ground a few feet away.
The woman knelt beside you, “Excuse me, are you alright? That demon looked like it could crush you!” You adjusted yourself, taking a good look at the person beside you. She had long pink braids with green tips, an S shaped sword. A light blush crept across your face as you looked her up and down. She was gorgeous.
“Y-yes. Thank you for helping me.” You tried to stand up but your right leg gave out. You yelped in pain and expected to hit the ground, but you opened your eyes as she caught you, letting your weak side rest against her frame.
“Woah now, don’t push yourself. I’ll help you to the nearest safe spot.”
The both of you walked together, wondering down a nearby path.
“Um, I never caught your name, are you with the Corps?”
“Yes!” She turned to look at you, excitment in her eyes. “ I’m Kanroji Mitsuri, the love pillar. Bice to meet you!”
Holy Shit, a pillar
“I’m y/n.. thank you again for taking the time to help.” You muttered, completely embarrassed a pillar of all people came to your rescue.
Once you reached the bottom of the path, you noticed a cabin there. Mitsuri knocked on the door and you were greeted by an older couple. “Don’t worry y/n, this is a safe place for the corps. We can rest here until morning.”
WE?
You felt your face get hot and felt a but nervous spending the night with a pillar but you didn’t protest, you were in some serious pain.
The older couple showed you both to a room but pulled you aside first, attending to your wounds. Not noticing her, Mitsuri watched from the doorway, making sure you would be completely okay.
You changed into new sleepwear as your uniforms got washed. Mitsuri laid out some sleeping bags while you two waited for food.
“It must be awkward sharing a room for the night with someone you don’t know.” She said out of nowhere. “I didn’t want to just leave you here after seeing your injuries, it’s always nice to have someone around ya know?”
You nodded in agreement. “It’s not that awkward I promise, it’s just a bit.. weird considering you’re a pillar.” Mitsuri tilted her head. “I-I mean not that it bothers me it’s just, you’re so much better than I am. Wouldn’t you rather just move on to your next place?” You placed a hand on the back of your neck and laughed nervously. Words were not your forte.
“I don’t think ranks mean anything once you’re done fighting for the night.”
The older woman brought in the food. There was a lot, bowls of rice and meat. Some soup sides, drinks. Your eyes widened at all of it. Mitsuri laughed.
“Eat whatever you like, I have a big appetite so there’ll be plenty more coming!” She dug right in and stuffed her face.
You couldn’t help but laugh, she was a messy eater.
Again she tilted her head. “Whsv fubbg?” She asked with her mouth full.
You laughed again and wiped her cheek. “You’ve got soy sauce all over yourself!”
“Mowe dow latef!”
There was a small pause followed by a burst of laughter from the both of you.
After dinner was done and you both settled into your sleeping bags there was another long pause.
“Hey y/n.. earlier you said I was better than you. What did you mean by that? Are you not comfortable in your swordsmanship?”
“Aha..” you turned away from Mitsuri. “I’ve been doubting myself a lot lately, I think I’m uncomfortable with the form I chose and want to switch but that means finding someone who’s willing to teach me.”
“Why don’t you become my tsuguko? I can teach you the Love Breath!”
You laid there stunned. “A-are you sure?”
“Of course! I’ve always wanted to pass down my knowledge!”
From then on, when Mitsuri wasn’t on a long pillar mission. You spent day in and day out training, making your body unlearn everything to make room for something new.
One day she introduced you to the other pillars. There was a huge dinner after a meeting and you got to meet another tsuguko. Her name was Kanao, she was really quiet but super nice.
As time went on the sessions lasted longer but were less frequent. Mitsuri was called out more often and suddenly so were you.
Days turned to weeks turned to a few months before you realized you hadn’t seen her. You could feel your heart hurting as you realized this was a new reality. As another month passed by without much contact with her you realized you had feelings for her. It pained you to be away from her for so long, you didn’t want to forget what she looked like,what she smelled like. You missed everything about her.
Waking up one morning you received a letter Mitsuri would be coming back go rest for a while at her home in the corps headquarters. You practically sprinted back to headquarters after your latest mission was complete. On the way to her home you stopped and picked up some ingredients to cook for her.
Outside her door you could see her crow taking a nap in the windowsill, her clothes were washed and hanging nearby to dry.
Suddenly your heart started to pound, you got nervous, palms starting to sweat. What if she doesn’t feel the same way about you? What if she found someone while out?
Before more questions can race through your mind, the door in front of you opened.
“Y/n!!” Mitsuri jumped onto you, diving face first onto your chest.
“Kanroji-san!” You wrapped your arms around her, pulling her in closer. “I’ve missed you so much.”
She rested her chin on your chest and looked up, causing you to look away blushing. “I’ve missed you too! Let’s go inside and catch up.” She looked you up and down. “It seems I’ve missed a lot seeing how much you’ve grown.”
She took your hand and pulled you inside, taking the ingredients off you and placing them on a nearby table. You walked into her kitchen, already familar with the layout of her home and started to boil water for tea.
Mitsuri placed some pillows and blankets on the floor, making lots of space for the two of you to sit and talk.
You sat down across from her, watching her every move.
“Y/n how tall are you now?” She raised an eyebrow.
“I think I’m 171cm now, it’s been a while since I’ve measured myself.” You laughed softly.
“You grew 4 inches in only a few months! Who’s been feeding you?” She grabbed onto your arm, feeling the upper muscles. “And your arms are so much more defined now! Oh geez I missed out on so much.”
Her voice seemed sad, you tried to look for answers in her eyes but she looked happy.
“I’ve only been taking care of myself, I did everything you’ve taught me. You have yourself to thank for how I turned out.” You patted her head.
A faint blush spread across the pillar’s face and she looked away. “Well I just want to make sure you’re doing okay without me, ya know? I.. care about you, a lot.”
Your body froze, you could feel the nervousness from before climb its way back through your body. Maybe you should tell her how you feel? Is now a good time?
The kettle screeching inturrupted your thoughts. “I’ll get it!” Mitsuri scrambled to get up.
“No no, you rest. I’ve got it.” You also got up, Mitsuri was too stubborn to say no so you both headed into the kitchen.
You both reached for the kettle at the same time, hands brushing against each others.
“U-uh I’ll get the cups.” You managed to squeak out before turning away quickly. You cupped your hands on your face and could feel the heat from your cheeks.
“Y/n? You okay?”
“Mhmm. Fine. I’m totally fine.”
You could feel Mitsuri press her hand on your back, “Why don’t we go sit down again, we’ll be more comfortable that way.” You trailed behind her as she led you back into her living room area.
She gently placed the kettle on a cloth after pouring you both a cup.
“So, meet anyone interesting while gone?” You asked, taking a sip.
“Hmm not really, I couldn’t stop thinking about you most of the time so it was hard meeting new people.”
You nearly spat out your tea.
“Uh huh.” You coughed, eyes watering a little. “Same here I uh guess. I was sad we couldn’t write each other more.”
“Me too! I found it hard having time to write, by the time I had a chance to sit down, I needed to use that time to recover.”
You both laughed a little.
“I missed having our sessions everyday. Even though I’m sure you want to rest, I hope you’ll watch over me the next couple days.” You smiled at her.
“Rest? Maybe a day or two but I want to spend all this time helping the both of us get better! It’ll be fun” she grabes your hands and held them.” I miss spending time with you, y/n. If I’m honest with myself.. I think I just miss you as a whole.”
That’s it, your entire face went red as you sat there speechless. “I-I umm,”
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same! I just felt dishonest not telling you how I felt.” She squeezed your hands.
You looked at her eyes and could telk she wanted to say this for a while now. You pulled her a little closer, “Kanroji-san I feel the same way. Everyday we were apart I thought about only you, I missed the nights we’d train so hard we were too sore to make it back inside so we slept under the stars. I missed cooking with you, I missed you.”
“Oh y/n!!” She lept into your lap unexpectedly causing you to fall backwards. “ I love you!”
You both laughed as you held onto her. “I love you!” You said back, cupping her face and kissing her nose.
You both laid there all afternoon, letting your tea go cold. After a while Mitsuri fell asleep on your chest, one hand around you, the other tangled in your hair.
You kissed the top of her forehead and closed your eyes, waiting for tomorrow to come.
~~
Sorry for any spelling errors, I had to type this on my phone.
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coneygoil · 5 years
Text
The Home We Built Together, part 12
Two young Vikings. An arranged marriage. Hiccup always wanted to win the girl of his dreams, but not like this. Now he and Astrid must learn to live together and maybe one day, learn to love…
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11
Writer’s note: I didn’t plan on this chapter becoming a monster at 2500 words, but here we are! Thank you to everyone who is sticking with this fic! You guys make my day :) 
He liked her cooking. Granted, it was only broth from a nearly fool’s proof recipe her mother had given her (along with the already cooked ham bone her mother also supplied), but it was an accomplishment Astrid was proud of. And Hiccup had liked it!
Astrid was determined to not fail at her wifely duties. She expected to have the same kind of pride that swelled her chest and jutted her chin high like when she did well in battle training. But it wasn’t the same. Her chest didn’t swell; it fluttered like a tiny nestling on it’s first flight. Her chin didn’t rise in pride; instead, her cheekbones warmed and a smile tugged the corners of her mouth.
All these sensations were new and exhilarating, and sometimes downright confusing and frightening. Even with the uncertainty of how to respond to the new conglomeration of emotions, Astrid knew she didn’t wish for them to end. All this over Hiccup-clumsy-sarcastic-little-dork-Haddock.
They sat around the firepit as they usually did most evenings sipping on a warm drink – their unspoken evening ritual. Tonight was different. Astrid was the one to bluntly show affection (out of her duties she’d been trying but failing to convince herself), but tonight, Hiccup called her something that was not her name.
Milady. She knew what the term of endearment meant. It wasn’t a term you called just anyone. Hiccup looked like a deer caught in the glowing yellow eyes of a dragon. She had to stop him from apologizing. His sorrys drove her crazy, and her mood was too light to have it fall.
“I like it,” tumbled out of her mouth. She couldn’t quite meet his eye as he accepted the mug from her.
A strange air rose up around them, like the electrical currents gathering for an approaching lightning storm. Astrid glanced at Hiccup from the corner of her eye. His jaw was set and a self-confidence emitted from him that she’d only witnessed when he would tout one of his latest inventions. A mission was on his mind.
As Hiccup wiped his mouth on his sleeve and relieved his grip on the mug, Astrid’s heart quickened. Come on, Hiccup. Make a move. Make a move. He was going to. She just knew it.
Astrid’s breath caught as the walls reverberated with the sound of the Great Horn. Her teeth clinched. Damn dragons! Why, tonight of all nights?
His disappointment wasn’t lost to her. He wished her safety. Astrid caught the opportunity to make up for their interrupted moment by catching his hand and giving it an encouraging squeeze. Then she left, their lost moment lingering at the doorstep.  
***
Mass Chaos was one way to describe a dragon raid. The cacophony of battle cries and dragon roars, along with wood crackling and sheep bleeping in terror mixed in the air. The intense blaze of fire all around stung the eyes and made it hard to see.
Astrid dodged an annoyed Gronkle as it buzzed by, a Viking hanging from its neck smacking the beast with his hammer. She paused in the middle of the path to regain her bearings. She’d lived through dozens upon dozens of dragon attacks throughout her short 15 years of life, but this was her first to take up arms and fight since training began. The glory of battle was slowly fading into a blur of disorientation. Fire brigade duties were far simpler and straight forward.
Every chance she picked to help an older Viking, they’d yell at her to go help someone else. As soon as she arrived, the next Viking would send her on her way to another fight. It was getting to the point of ridiculousness. Astrid was almost tempted to give up and go help the new crew of the fire brigade. Almost.
Astrid Hofferson – Haddock, she had to remind herself sometimes – did not give up.
“Night Fury!” a cry rang out from the chaos.
“Get down!” another warning from somewhere across from her yelled.
The telltale eerie whistle of the Night Fury’s dive cut through the air causing every Viking to duck, knowing ultimate destruction was afoot. One catapult tower exploded in a massive fireball as shards of broken wood and fireballs rained down. Astrid ducked using her axe as a cover for her head, and regretting that she totally screwed up the first rule in dragon training. Grab a shield.
The Chief barked orders as he hastened passed her, simultaneously unscathed by the explosion he just survived. Astrid was about to follow her Chief – and father-in-law, another fact she also had to remind herself about – when a familiar cry echoed down. She whipped around. Silhouetted against the night sky was a small, skinny figure being chased by a Monstrous Nightmare.
Dread made her heart leap into her throat and her entire body quailed. There was no mistake of who was being mercilessly chased.
“Hiccup.”
Taking off into a mad dash, Astrid blazed up the paths, dodging Viking weapons and dragon teeth. She had to get to Hiccup before the Nightmare did. She had to save him.
She spotted his slim frame pressed against an enormous fire pillar trying to hide from the terrifying dragon in pursuit. Hiccup was good at epic fails and this hiding spot was one of them. A fierce dose of adrenaline shot through her. A battle cry erupted from her lungs. Her axe clutched in both hands above her head, primed to chop off the Nightmare’s head.
The fiery dragon focused its attention on the new threat, snarling and baring its teeth. Astrid swung down, missing its long neck as the Nightmare’s head swiveled snake-like out of reach. A stream of red-hot flames spewed at her. Astrid barely leap out of the way, tumbling head over heels on the ground.
Rolling to her feet, she crouched in a battle stance. Monstrous Nightmares were revered as one of the most dangerous dragons. If she killed this dragon, she’d gain high recognition within the tribe. Being the Chief’s daughter-in-law, they’d probably even throw a feast in her honor.
None of that fueled her need to kill this beast. Protecting Hiccup was her only focus.
The Nightmare whipped its tail, annoyed by the gnat that was buzzing between it and its current prey. The flickering flames of the torch above doesn’t provide the best lighting as it begins to burn down. Astrid merely blinked and a spiky tail was slapping at her like a gigantic fly swatter. The grip on her axe handle was knocked loose sending the weapon spinning out of reach.
Astrid cried out, holding her right hand close to her chest. A sharp spike on the tail grazed her skin, leaving a slice across the inside of her palm. There’s no time to nurse the wound. Her mind is flooded with panic. She was left exposed without her weapon on top of being wounded. She darted her eyes about the rocky path, spying her axe several feet away.
Her back was to the beast. She had no idea where it was about to strike, or even if Hiccup was safe. She moved toward her axe in a frantic crawl. Her body moved on its own accord, the adrenaline and panic pumping in burst through her.
Astrid barely registers the battle cry of her Chief, and she flipped onto her bottom to find he was already taking on the Nightmare. She scrambled to her feet to get out of the way of the fight. In typical Stoick the Vast form, he pummeled the beast with his bare fists before it slicked off into the dark sky.
The fire pillar Hiccup had taken refuge behind suddenly fell over, the basket of flames rolling down the hill as recovering Vikings jumped out of the way. It rolled over a net full of Nadders, releasing the dragons from their captivity. Every eye was on the retreating dragons carrying away their spoils.
“Sorry, dad.” It was Hiccup’s pitiful voice that cut through the thick tension in the vicinity. Astrid locked eyes on him. Thank Thor, he seemed unscathed, but what wrath the Nightmare didn’t unleash on him, his father was about to. 
 Hiccup chewed his bottom lip then pointed behind him. “Okay, but I hit a Night Fury. It wasn’t like the last few times!” he explained as his father yanked him along by the collar of his vest. “I really did hit it! You guys were busy and I had a clear shot. It went down just off Raven’s Point. We can get a search party out there.”
Astrid’s back rose and fell in a seething breath, not only from the exertion from the battle but the ire that was rising up inside her at Hiccup’s words. He hadn’t listened to her. He was still up to the same old routine with his haphazard dragon killing inventions that caused more damage than good. The revelation stung more than the gash on her palm.
“Stop!” Stoick’s voice boomed through the crowd. It shut Hiccup down in an instant. The Chief’s face was weary, and it wasn’t for lack of sleep or pushed endurance. “Just stop,” he repeated softer this time. “What were you thinking, Hiccup? You almost got yourself killed. Again. A good part of the village is on fire now because of you! Every time you step outside, disaster happens.”
“But Dad, listen! I really did shoot down a Night Fury!”
Stoick pressed a hand to his forehead, pushing up his helmet an inch. “I thought in the last few weeks you were getting passed all-“ he looked at his son and waved an open hand at him, “-this.”
Hiccup rolled his eyes as if the statement had been exhausted before. “You just gestured to all of me.”
Ignoring his son’s indignation, Stoick continued, “Winter is at our doorstep and I have an entire village to feed.”
Hiccup’s eyes flick behind him and he leaned in closer. “Between you and me, the village could use a little less feeding.”
“This isn’t a joke, Hiccup! Why can’t you follow the simplest orders?”
“I can’t stop myself. I see a dragon, and I have to just kill it. It’s who I am, dad.”
Astrid glanced away, shaking her head in secondhand embarrassment. If only Hiccup knew how ridiculous he sounded. How childish he looked mimicking something like ringing off an invisible dragon’s head. She nearly stormed off right then and there.
“You’re a lotta things, Hiccup,” the Chief’s tone was eerily calm, making him seem even more treacherous than if his yells were shaking the cliffs. “But a dragon killer you are not.”
Astrid froze. Stoick’s penetrating gaze suddenly landed on her. “Astrid! Make sure he gets home. I have his mess to clean up.”
For the first time since they bid each other’s safety at home, their gazes meet. Hiccup’s bottom lip was caught up by his top looking more like the disappointed little boy from years’ past. Gobber smacked him on the back of the head, softer than what the weathered blacksmith could dealt. Hiccup hunched over. His eyes fixed on the ground as he followed Astrid away from the crowd.
Whispers floated their way as they walked away. Astrid glared side-to-side from under the long fringe of bangs. The rest of the village had no right to glower pity at her.
“Quite the performance,” Tuffnut remarked as they passed by.
“I’ve never seen anyone mess up that badly,” Snotlout added onto the mockery.
Her ire helped Astrid bite her tongue trying not to lash out in defense. Hiccup deserved the taunting for his idiot decision. At least, that’s what the red-hot coal burning in her chest convinced her to think.
Hiccup trailed behind as they trekked through the ravaged village, dodging debris and sporadic fires being doused by the new members of the fire brigade. The tension in the silence between them felt like an invisible stone wall. Hiccup’s footfalls remained one step behind her. More than once she recognized the shift of his hand reaching out then falling to his side with a light thud.
As they approached their home, remarkably unscathed by the dragon attack (the dragons were more prone to targeting the houses with livestock), Hiccup finally worked up the courage. “Thanks for saving me back there.”
Astrid kept her back to him. It was hard enough being angry with him and also relieved that he was okay. “That’s what I’m here for,” she said bitingly, “To keep you from getting yourself killed.”
She didn’t give him a chance to response. She reached for the door handle of their home and gave a sharp hissed, completely forgetting about her injured hand in the heat of events.
“Hey, what happened?”
Hiccup tried to take her hand to check, but Astrid cradled it to her breastbone. “Just a cut. It’s nothing.”
Hiccup’s eyes widened. “If it’s nothing then why is your hand bloody?”
“The Nightmare clipped me, okay? I’m fine.”
He tried again to examine her hand, but Astrid maneuvered away. He was concerned and she hated him for it. He had no right to be after the promise that was broken tonight.
“At least let me clean it for you.”
“I can clean it myself.” She wanted so badly to yell. She probably needed to drop her axe before she used it to threaten him.
Hiccup gave a third try to take her hand, this time succeeding in catching her wrist. “Please, Astrid. Let me make this up to you for saving me back there.”
Astrid yanked her arm away. “You’ve done enough, Hiccup!” she finally burst. Hiccup blinked at her in surprise. “I thought you were done with your dragon killing inventions. I thought you’d finally decided to grow up and start taking responsibility like the future Chief should!”
“I am, Astrid! A future chief needs to be able to kill dragons, and this is my way of doing just that!”
“It’s the wrong way, Hiccup!”
“I can prove to you that my way works!” He gestured out into the darkness as if the proof was hidden just beyond the night. “I can prove to you that I can be the Viking you deserve!” He’s at it again, attempting to grab at her. The slice across her palm forgotten to him over his incessant need for approval. “Come with me and I’ll show you. I really did shoot down a Night Fury.”
“Stop!” The fierceness of her tone caused Hiccup to stand straight and abandon his task. “Give it up! You’re a blacksmith.” Her axe was pointing at him, and Astrid knew she should have set it down. “Accept that maybe that’s what you were made to be, and leave the dragon killing to me.”
“Astrid-“
She tried to ignore the hurt and disappointment written on his face. He dug this hole knowing exactly what he was doing. “I’m going to check on my parents, see if they need help.” She glared as slicing as her axe was sharp. “Just stay here. If you can’t listen to your own father then at least listen to your wife.”
@martabm90 @chiefhiccstrid @justatranquilcloud  @saieras
65 notes · View notes
lavender-hemlock · 5 years
Text
Aw.. Shit, here we go again. (Questions below the cut because I’m not an asshole like the below.) 
@kazexvoss
Tumblr media
Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well
1. What is you middle name?
Marie
2. How old are you?
23
3. When is your birthday?
October 7th
4. What is your zodiac sign?
Libra
5. What is your favorite color?
Burgundy
6. What’s your lucky number?
7
7. Do you have any pets?
One dog
8. Where are you from?
The US-Tragedy-A
9. How tall are you?
Hahaha.. 5′.  10. What shoe size are you?
Size 6
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Probably over ten.. and more than half are boots. 
12. What was your last dream about? Asked by breaking-from-grace
13. What talents do you have?
I guess I have a talent for my empathy, art, and writing? Not sure what merits as a talent without being overzealous. 
14. Are you psychic in any way?
I’ve been called a witch because of intuition for emotions of others? Or being scary close to presuming things. 
Sadly can’t bend any spoons, stay tuned. 
15. Favorite song?
Toooo many. Music is too vast to pick just one, but I’ve been listening to Day Dreaming - Jack & Jack a lot lately. 
16. Favorite movie?
Probably the Phantom of the Opera version with Gerard Butler. 
17. Who would be your ideal partner?
Someone who is capable of respecting the flow of my energy. When I need space, when I’m all for being close. It isn’t that I’m picky or moody, but I know what I need and also don’t need them being worried when I’m just being quiet and reading a book. It’s just a mutual respect and understanding. 
Ya feel? 
18. Do you want children?
Yeah. Which is weird to think about. I’m not in any rush. 
19. Do you want a church wedding?
I think it is right for me to pursue it, but kinda no. I want a venue probably really low key done up in lights, curtains, and simplicity that doesn’t need a huge budget. Its about the bond, right? 
20. Are you religious?
Yep, I am a christian. 
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?
I have! I had a piggy bank get knocked on top of my head when I was little and my mom rushed me to the hospital. I think that was the first time I saw stars. Only time though!
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?
Yeeeeap. 
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?
Yes! I’ve been fortunate to meet a few bands and also see the cast of Fast and the Furious. I got to go on set for the 5th movie! I was lucky. 
24. Baths or showers?
Showers. 
25. What color socks are you wearing?
Black. I hate this question. I’m looking at only one person rn. 
26. Have you ever been famous?
Kinda? Yet I think famous in this way is very subjective? I had my old (and first) RP community for like eleven years. Its not fun when everyone knows your name, I’ll tell you that. You get put on a pedestal or get called terrible things if you don’t respond. It was a whack time. I don’t miss it. I was just famous for the designs I would put for the community and being like a “veteran” member with tons of “powers” (community bling). Blegh. 
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?
Nope. I admire those that do great things and gain that attention for the work they have put in, but its a double sword. Everyone knows your business and looks at you. Seems like a ant under a magnifying glass analogy.  
28. What type of music do you like?
I like a lot of pop/alternative. I listen to generally everything except some heavy techno/bass stuff isn’t really for me. 
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
Nope, don’t plan to. What if a snake bit my ass? How do I explain that to a doctor. 
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
3!
31. What position do you usually sleep in?
I have to pick one!?
32. How big is your house?
It’s modest. 
33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Asked by Caewen!
34. Have you ever fired a gun?
Yes! I have been trained to use one strictly for defense over the home. What a sad world. 
35. Have you ever tried archery?
No, but I wish!
36. Favorite clean word?
Cleaaaan? 
37. Favorite swear word?
Fuck. 
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
Hahahaha 72 hours. I like sleep. 
39. Do you have any scars? Asked by Sangria-Fangs!
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Yeah! It’s.. okay. Kind of creeps me out tbh. 
41. Are you a good liar?
No. I would psych myself out. 
42. Are you a good judge of character?
Yeah. It took a lot of fuck-ups to figure that out!
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?
Poorly. All of them. 
44. Do you have a strong accent?
No.
45. What is your favorite accent?
Gosh. British or Australian. 
46. What is your personality type?
INFJ. 
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?
Boots! 
48. Can you curl your tongue? Cries. Asked by Caewen. 
49. Are you an innie or an outie?
Innie. This is weird. 
50. Left or right handed?
Right handed!
51. Are you scared of spiders?
Don’t @ me. 
52. Favorite food?
Snow crab.
53. Favorite foreign food?
Italian. 
54. Are you a clean or messy person?
SO fresh and SO clean ~
55. Most used phrased?
”I dare everyday.” She says before she does something stupid. 
56. Most used word?
Ye. 
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?
Anywhere from 5 minutes to over 30 minutes. There is no inbetween in this. 
58. Do you have much of an ego?
Either the biggest in the room or the smallest. There is no inbetween. 
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?
BITE. 
60. Do you talk to yourself?
When I’m trying to focus really hard. 
61. Do you sing to yourself?
Only to myself, yes. In my car and forgetting there’s someone in the car next to me? yes. 
62. Are you a good singer?
I’d like to think so. 
63. Biggest Fear?
Snakes. 
64. Are you a gossip?
No, but I’ll discuss, not spread. 
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Asked by Hingan-Fox!
66. Do you like long or short hair?
I like both!
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?
Unfortunately. 
68. Favorite school subject?
Literature. 
69. Extrovert or Introvert?
Kinda inbetween. Ask me on a random day, it may be one or the other. 
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?
No but it sounds cool!
71. What makes you nervous?
Confrontation. 
72. Are you scared of the dark?
Kinda. 
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
It depends on the thing. If its not my place, I won’t. If they’re ignorant, it depends if its worth it. If they deserve it- passionately. 
74. Are you ticklish?
I will stab you. 
75. Have you ever started a rumor?
Nope
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?
Yep!
77. Have you ever drank underage?
Yeeeap. 
78. Have you ever done drugs?
Mary Jane. 
79. Who was your first real crush?
A boy in kindergarten who drew me cards everyday and left them in my desk each morning. ; ; 
80. How many piercings do you have?
None! Needles and I do not work out. 
81. Can you roll your Rs? 
I can’t even curl my tongue and now I get this question. 
82. How fast can you type?
90 WPM average. 
83. How fast can you run?
Fast as fuck boi. I’m just memeing now, aren’t I? Just trying to get through this. I don’t think anyone will get this far. 
84. What color is your hair?
Dark brown!
85. What color is your eyes?
Green-blueishhhh. Depends on the day/lighting. 
86. What are you allergic to?
Wax and bees. 
87. Do you keep a journal?
I used to until someone read it lol. 
88. What do your parents do?
Work? 
89. Do you like your age?
I kinda have to? 
90. What makes you angry? Asked by Caewen! Oo boy. 
91. Do you like your own name?
Yeah, I’d say its just fine. It’s mine.
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?
Jace and Claire. 
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
Happy with either.
94. What are you strengths?
Empathy, understanding.
95. What are your weaknesses?
Patience (depends), Failure. 
96. How did you get your name?
They said they just shouted it out until they figured they could say it everyday for the rest of my life and not get tired of it- and the meaning is pretty. 
97. Were your ancestors royalty?
I don’t think so. Never looked into it. 
98. Do you have any scars? Asked by Sangria-Fangs!
99. Color of your bedspread?
White.
100. Color of your room?
White, greys. I like snow and furs and lights. 
Now, after all that- I am clearly no bitch @kazexvoss. Do yours. 
13 notes · View notes
feralhogs · 4 years
Note
1-100 TELL ME ALL
Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well
1. What is you middle name?
Jesse
2. How old are you?
22
3. When is your birthday?
dec 9
4. What is your zodiac sign?
sagittarius
5. What is your favorite color?
purples
6. What’s your lucky number?
9
7. Do you have any pets?
no
8. Where are you from?
bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia
9. How tall are you?
5 something
10. What shoe size are you?
7?
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
3 that i actually use
12. What was your last dream about?
i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post
13. What talents do you have?
i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline
14. Are you psychic in any way?
well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there
15. Favorite song?
for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I  took all the colours
16. Favorite movie?
spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.
17. Who would be your ideal partner?
someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much
18. Do you want children?
not RIGHT NOW
19. Do you want a church wedding?
i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.
20. Are you religious?
yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?
yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?
i got a parking ticket
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?
no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them
24. Baths or showers?
showers.
25. What color socks are you wearing?
alien socks that are green and black
26. Have you ever been famous?
no. what does that even mean !!!!
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?
yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them
28. What type of music do you like?
stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
no
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?
one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out
31. What position do you usually sleep in?
i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin
32. How big is your house?
BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people. 
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?
on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this
34. Have you ever fired a gun?
HELL no.
35. Have you ever tried archery?
in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.
36. Favorite clean word?
i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.
37. Favorite swear word?
bitch. its really fun to say.
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.
39. Do you have any scars?
yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
i believe so...
41. Are you a good liar?
yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.
42. Are you a good judge of character?
NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?
i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents
44. Do you have a strong accent?
i dont know how to answer this
45. What is your favorite accent?
idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them
46. What is your personality type?
that.... INFJ. see. psychic
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?
one of the gay jackets
48. Can you curl your tongue?
dont think so
49. Are you an innie or an outie?
innie
50. Left or right handed?
left
51. Are you scared of spiders?
depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free
52. Favorite food?
tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish
53. Favorite foreign food?
idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.
54. Are you a clean or messy person?
clean
55. Most used phrased?
“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot
56. Most used word?
I
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?
a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min
58. Do you have much of an ego?
i do, but i hide it. 
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?
chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.
60. Do you talk to yourself?
yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work
61. Do you sing to yourself?
nah
62. Are you a good singer?
no. i can sing and it sound okay.  nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.
63. Biggest Fear?
someone dying, natural disaster, new illness
64. Are you a gossip?
maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?
i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those
66. Do you like long or short hair?
BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?
fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.
68. Favorite school subject?
ART ART AR T
69. Extrovert or Introvert?
introerverte
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?
no
71. What makes you nervous?
people who are not Definitely Cheerful
72. Are you scared of the dark?
no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?
no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL
74. Are you ticklish?
depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.
75. Have you ever started a rumor?
i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?
maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok...... 
77. Have you ever drank underage?
no
78. Have you ever done drugs?
no
79. Who was your first real crush?
someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE
80. How many piercings do you have?
two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im  so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries
81. Can you roll your Rs?“
hell yes
82. How fast can you type?
so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast
83. How fast can you run?
IM VERY FAST
84. What color is your hair?
orange
85. What color is your eyes?
green
86. What are you allergic to?
im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives
87. Do you keep a journal?
yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures
88. What do your parents do?
my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky
89. Do you like your age?
sure
90. What makes you angry?
everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger. 
91. Do you like your own name?
YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?
im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
yeah, i want a boy a girl
94. What are you strengths?
my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles
95. What are your weaknesses?
the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea
96. How did you get your name?
i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie  “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”
97. Were your ancestors royalty?
no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school 
98. Do you have any scars?
weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon
99. Color of your bedspread?
pink, white, blue
100. Color of your room?
white
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uncanny8ellen · 5 years
Text
Short break
As he was sitting on a bench, waiting(half sleeping), he thought of all the possibilities of this peaceful moment turning into the craziest nightmare of his life. Because, well, it wasn't like they knew the exact whereabouts of this next target, also he had a feeling this might be some kind of ominous massage from somewhere to warn him that he's going to die. For real, this time.
But clara, his fourth partner assistance (had to lose 3 just last year. For fuck's sake...), wouldn't let him dive straight into self-destructive, workaholic mode, so he might as well just enjoy this rare occasion while he can.
Ha, yeah. Enjoy. As if he's even capable of doing that. It has been a long time since he's ever felt safe enough to sleep more than 3 hours a day, much less enjoy a simple break, of all things.
God, he's going to die here, isn't he? He'll die as a nameless, disposable part of this horribly messed up organization and soon will be forgotten by every member in this team, because apparently that's just everyday life for everyone here, and his whole existence won't leave even a speck of something, because that, too, is what happens right from the very moment you sign up for this whole......crap. It wasn't like he had any other option, though. It was typical 'now or never' kind of situation, and he certainly didn't feel like being crushed under all those rubbles at the time. So contracts deals mistakes were made, and now he's here being the witness of all sorts of death from numerous kinds of stupid fucking reasons, wondering why he bothered to survive all those years ago.
Their leader always seemed to be a bit out of it, and now he understood why. There's absolutely no way anyone who's perfectly normal and is in their right mind can endure this much stress. It just had to be already fxxked up ones, because they can keep going even if they are literally thrown straight into hell. Because even if you break further what's already broken, the dust still stubbornly remains. And that's what this was all about. Keep being chipped away until there was nothing left to be erased.
But clara was different.
And he truly hoped she'll stay much longer than her countless predecessors, because-
Because...
......The vivid, yet familiar sensation of wrongness suddenly washed over him like a blanket made out of liquid nitrogen and the sheer pressure of void in his chest was enough to freeze him to the spot.
He opened his eyes, and sure enough, standing only a few feet away from where he sits is that wretched creature from recent briefing, 'avoid at all cost' and all that, and...has it been watching him sleep this whole time? With those too-many eyes on its body?
Wow. Okay. So, creepy and unsettling as usual. Hmm. No head. Basically it has mouth on where it's neck was supposed to be and it's fingers are like long beaks. What the hell. Dripping blood, as expected. Approachong without making a single noise? Check. Looks like it wants to kill you? Check.
..........And looks....amused? For some reason? No...maybe delighted is more like it.
And on it's right hand...
It's holding something.
So all that blood came from that in its hand?
What is-
Oh
~~~~~
John held up a hand to interrupt.
"So...let me get this straight." He quietly lit his fifth cig and continued. "First of all, you were sleeping during your mission. And before anyone tries to protest, yes, I am well aware of his sleep-deprived state at the time, but I'll have you know that that can't justify anything in this situation. Second, because of the reason I just stated, you let her go alone. Even when I specifically told all of you that there is a highly dangerous creature at large in this specific layer of reality."
John stopped briefly and simply observed in silence. He gazed into the vacant eyes on the other side of table with intensity.
There was nothing.
"And finally......albeit understandable.....you lost yourself. And I think you know more than anyone that something like that is unacceptable in our line of work." John finished and took a long drag from his cig.
The other side of table was still quiet, not a single movement being detected. As if there was no one.
Like it was just an empty seat.
Deep wrinkles slowly etched on john's forehead and he ordered others to leave the room. He pulled the last drag from his cigarette and put it off completely. Now only silence stretched further and further, until john finally snapped.
"Why don't you actually start explaining the rest instead of dodging the subject whenever possible? You'll have to tell me eventually. So you better say something right now before things go out of hands! Just let it out so I can see if I can help you at all, Eric!"
All of a sudden something inhuman flashed in two previously vacant eyes. His eyes zeroed in on the only other person in the room and he started whispering in almost incomprehensible words.
"What did you say?" John strained to catch any words, but it was too small to even notice that he was saying something.
"......I said tHAT FUCKING BASTARD HAD CLARA'S HEAD!!!!!" eric screamed, not giving any thoughts about how his voice sounded like wailing maniac in the end. He was standing now, but even that simple action was draining his energy rather quickly.
"That Thing was covered in her blood, and I didn't even realize...I-I..." he swallowed, and slowly exhaled through his nose. But that wasn't enough. He tried to slow his breathing like he'd done for past 4 years. It didn't work. He clenched his eyes shut but image of clara's bloody, lifeless, dismembered head was already branded inside his mind.
John noticed the obvious struggle and quickly grabbed both of eric's trembling hands with his own.
"Breathe. Remember the training. Come on, eric, try to mimic my breathing speed."
John gave him a knowing look. Almost every member in organization went through the same thing at least once a month, and it became a norm at this point.
Eventually eric's breathing started to slow down.After a pause, john slowly asked, "You looked down, didn't you?"
Single nod.
"We tried, but...couldn't salvage her body." John said lowly.
Eric nodded again, still feeling numb.
John hesitated for a second, then added, "She survived for the longest...also she had great personality, no wonder you were so deeply attached to her unlike all the other partners you met. You couldn't have known something like this was to happen....so.....just know that personally, I don't blame you. But since you eliminated the creature and tried to break the rule......I can't just let this pass. Also your full mental breakdown after that didn't help much, either. Again, I'm not blaming you for that. But we are all in the same boat. You know our sole purpose of existance relies on NOT going crazy, even just for a second. Our duty is to make the residence of particular reality to be happy, not ourselves. We can't live for that anymore, remember? We deal with extremely dangerous things so they don't have to. We lose our loved ones so they don't have to."
Eric simply stared into the distance. Then, he opened his mouth. "For a moment I thought.....that I could finally hope. That at least I'd get a chance to get to know her. That.....I'd have someone by my side. I guess being T.H.E.M means not hoping for anything. Funny, that. For someone who make so called "happy endings"...we aren't even allowed to get our own."
"And that's how we exist." said john. He brushed dust from old memory and cited the words he'd heard when he was still a little kid "The more we crave, the less we actually get. The Happy Ending Makers don't get to have their own happy ending. And you should always keep that in mind."
~~~~~
If you call THEM, they will come.
They will give you the happy ending you wanted by taking tragedies with them.
No one remembers them because happy ever after is the only thing people want to see.
Too captivated to the beauty of red rose to realize a nightingale sacrificed its life to dye the rose with its blood.
Until this day undercover agents of THEM suffer to lessen the pain of those who are in need of desperate help.
-------------------------
Wow that was, like, really long and confusing. By the way, english is not my first language so there will be many errors. Also I'd like to hear you feedback. I will appreciate your criticism as long as you don't be a jerk about it. Just be polite, please.
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dragonkeeper19600 · 6 years
Text
New Mario Movie: Plot Prediction (Part 4)
Oh, yes. This is still going.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Mario and the Toads wait a few days before putting their escape plan into action.
Not just because Mario needs a few days to recoup, not just because they want a few days of Best Behavior to lure Bowser into complacency,
But because the path he’ll need to take through the pipes is pretty treacherous.
Peach’s Castle’s water supply is fed by the moat, which is itself fed by a stream from a private lake.
The plan is for Mario to swim through the maze of pipes unto the lake and out.
None of the Toads have ever attempted this because they can't swim very well. 
They have no legs.
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Look at these poor freaks.
It’ll be pretty dark. There are some tanks where it’ll be shallow enough to breathe but not many. 
Mario can’t afford to make a wrong turn.
Training Montage!
They spend the next several days alternating between keeping Mario in shape and pretending to be doing nothing whenever one of the Koopa Troop happens by.
Toadsworth goes over the map of the sewer system over and over again.
Meanwhile...
Luigi is also busy.
Still working on a hydroelectric generator that will work on the van.
You can tell the poor man is scared out of his wits.
He’s constantly looking over his shoulder, jumping at small sounds,
Any second expecting the people keeping his brother hostage to show up at the door. 
He works long into the night
Because sleeping isn’t happening.
Keeping his hands busy so as not to go mad.
The whole time, begging to he knows not who:
Please work. Please work.
The night of the escape, Mario can’t sleep either.
“Mario, you should get some rest.”
Can’t. His heart’s too loud. It’s keeping him up.
Finally, after several agonizing hours of not falling asleep, Toadbert nudges him awake.
It’s time.
They manage to slink past the night patrol and reach the sewer area, where Mario shuts off the water.
They can only afford to keep the water off for a minute. If one of Bowser’s minions notices the water isn’t working, this trip won’t last very long. 
They slide one of the pipes out of the way, and Mario climbs inside with one of those headlights on.
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Very fashionable.
Mario is nervous as they roll the pipe back into place behind him.
“Remember, Master Mario,
“Stay the course.”
“We’ll keep the water off as long as possible.”
Mario climbs in. All is dark.
Hope you kids aren’t claustrophobic.
Too soon, a Koopa approaches the kitchen sink for a glass of water. 
The knob squeaks and nada comes out of the faucet.
“Hey, what gives?”
The Toads see that someone in the kitchen is trying to get some water and reluctantly turn it on.
Water flows past Mario’s knees. Before long, he’s swimming. 
The Koopa finally gets his glass of water.
He takes a drink and smacks his lips, frowning.
Tastes kind of... mannish? 
He walks away, muttering about tap water. So far, everything’s good.
Mario keeps pace, managing to pop up for air in the tanks where several pipes branch off.
Everything is going swimmingly (Hee!) until Mario notices a bleached white something skirting out of site at the end of an elbow pipe.
Okay, you’re all alone, there’s nowhere to run, and there’s something in the pipe with you.
Don’t freak out.
Mario can’t afford to go back or even slow down. 
He has no choice but to follow the thing he saw.
He reaches another tank before he’s grabbed.
The thing, as you might have guessed already, is a Blooper.
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“Imma squid if you haven’t noticed!”
The Blooper grabs Mario and drags him to the bottom of the tank, trying to drown him. 
Those tentacles are everywhere, binding his legs and covering his mouth. Mario can barely move.
And the Blooper’s eyes are just fixed on him, watching him squirm.
Out of desperation, Mario bites down hard on the tentacle covering his mouth.
The Blooper squeals and lets go, while also releasing a cloud of ink. 
Not good.
The ink spreads to each corner of the tank. Mario’s headlight can’t break through. All around him is inky black.
Which way is out? Which way is up?
Mario frantically flails through the water, encountering wall after wall.
Agonizing, Mario kicks against the side of the tank. The Toads hear the echo.
“Is that Mario?”
“I think he’s stuck!”
“What do we do?”
The Toads are petrified. They know they might be listening to Mario drowning.
Water is stored in the tank when it’s shut off, so shutting off the water again won’t save Mario.
So, they opt for the opposite solution.
Toads stationed all throughout the castle proceed to turn on every source of water they can find.
Sinks are twisted full blast, bathtubs are filled, fountains do not so much spit water as they do vomit it.
Toadsworth flips a lever, and sprinklers spray all over the castle grounds. 
The excessive demand drains the tank. Mario is deposited onto his knees at the bottom, coughing.
The Blooper flails, beached.
However, all that water is making a lot of noise. It sounds like a waterfall is pounding through the castle.
Kamek pulls the sleeping mask over his forehead.
“What is that sound?”
Before long, the water runs black. Kamek sees the sprinkler spraying the window panes with inky black rain.
“What the devil is going on?”
The Toads are caught red handed, staring at Kamek with broken-off handles in their hands.
One of the bathrooms is completely flooded. Toads are standing up to their waists in inky water.
“What do you twerps think you’re doing?”
Suddenly, Kamek’s eyes narrow. 
“Where’s that plumber?”
“That plumber” is rising to his feet in the tank, looking rapidly from one pipe to another.
There are many pipes leading out of this particular tank, each one gushing water as the tank attempts to refill.
Mario takes a moment to reorient himself, remember his place.
He spots a hole higher up and decides that must be the one.
He jumps up to it, using the Blooper as a springboard. 
He braces himself against the flow and powers inside.
Meanwhile, Kamek is giving a very violent, spur-of-the-moment interrogation.
“I said, WHERE IS HE?”
The Toads are terrified, stammering, “I don’t know! Have you seen him?”
“Nope, not me!”
They’re scared out of their wits, but none of them will give him up.
Kamek is beyond furious.
“You little, scheming ingrates!”
Kamek gives orders to search the castle top to bottom until they find Mario.
But, Mario isn’t in the castle.
Mario finally swims out of the pipe at the base of the castle moat, dodging Cheep Cheeps on his way to the surface. 
He clambers onto the bank, exhausted.
The lights are all on in the castle above him.
He doesn’t have more than a moment to himself before he hears somebody shout. 
“Over here! I see a light!”
Cazzo! Mario forgot about his headlight, blaring into the night like a landing signal. Right here! 
Mario throws the light off his head without turning it off and ducks back into the moat. 
The person who shouted, a Paratroopa, sees the light discarded on the ground and the ripple in the moat. 
“Guys! I think he’s in the moat!”
The Paratroops retreats into his shell and dives in after him.
The shell, spinning through the water, is soon joined by several others. Mario turns to see several hard, fast turtle shells coming right at him. 
He manages to dive below one, but a second slams into him. It’s like being grazed by a torpedo.
Reeling, Mario nonetheless manages to grab onto a third as it spins below him. 
The Koopa spins onto the bank, dragging Mario behind him. 
Mario kicks away the Koopa shell. It spins away, its owner yelling helplessly.
On land, Mario doesn’t have to worry about Koopa barreling at him from all directions.
But that doesn’t mean he’s out of the woods yet.
Mario hears a distant barking. It’s a sound every gamer recognizes. 
He turns to see Richard, the Chain Chomp. A Walker Guy is holding the end of his chain.
Now, for those of you who have never played Mario and Luigi: Dream Team, a Walker Guy walking a Chain Chomp is less like a man walking a dog and more like a kid failing the rodeo.
The Walker Guy is thrown around, yanked off his feet, and dragged, facedown, through the dirt as the Chain Chomp merrily launches itself at its target.
That’s basically the deal here, too. The Walker Guy is being whipped too and fro like he’s on the pain end of a skating chain. 
Richard is barreling right towards Mario. The ground rumbles with every bounce. 
Mario sprints, relying on pure adrenaline.
But, Richard is faster. The outline of the Chain Chomp soon dwarfs Mario, those white teeth glinting in the starlight...
At the last second, Mario rolls to the side, out of the way. Richard barrels past him.
The chain snakes past before the Walker Guy passes into view. Mario throws himself at him and holds him tight.
“Hey! What do you think you’re-?”
The Walker Guy doesn’t finish. A shadow is looming over them. The Walker Guy and Mario look up to see Richard snarling down at the pair of them. His target is right in front of him. It doesn’t matter that his keeper is in the way. Chain Chomps are opportunistic like that.
The Walker Guy frantically kicks at Mario. “Get off! Get away!” 
Mario waits until Richard has lunged to get off, but at that point, it’s too late for the Chain Chomp to change its trajectory. The Walker Guy is buried under two tons of metal and mouth.
He’s twitching slightly as Richard rolls off him. The end of the chain has been thrown loose by the impact. Mario grabs it.
Maybe that wasn’t the best idea.
Richard spins frantically after Mario, but the end of his chain always whips just out of his reach, like a dog chasing his tail.
Mario hangs on for dear life. 
The g-force is killer.
Finally, Richard gives up and bounds away from the castle, worked up and directionless, dragging Mario behind him. 
The Walker Guy watches, stunned, as Mario, and his charge, disappear into the distance.
One thought escapes the mouth behind his mask:
“I am so fired.”
Kamek is livid.
He has all the Toads lined up in front of him in the throne room. The entire castle staff.
“How long have you been planning this?” 
Everyone is looking at the floor.
“TELL ME!”
No one moves a muscle. Kamek throws the Toadsworth’s map of the sewer system on the floor in front of them.
“Did you really think we’d never find out about this? 
“Did you think you could just do WHATEVER YOU WANT?
“Lord Bowser has been soft on you up until now, but if he were awake-!”
“If I were awake what?”
Kamek jumps his entire height. Bowser is not yet fully awake, but Kamek is terrified. Despite his threats, he was kind of hoping he could have all this resolved before Bowser found out.
“Kamek, what’s going on?”
He finally notices the Toads. Many of them are still soaking wet.
“Geez, don’t these things know how to clean up after themselves?
“Why are they all here?
“And who said you could sit in the throne?”
Kamek stammers.
“Well, uh, you see, sir, the thing is, um...”
But Toadette is the one whose voice rings clear. “Mario escaped!”
Bowser looks. Toadette glares up at him, defiant.
Bowser blinks, utterly confused. “Mario? My plumber?”
Toadette nods. “That’s right. He’s gone! And you’ll never find him!”
Bowser doesn’t take long to switch from incredulity to white-hot rage.
“YOU LET MY PLUMBER ESCAPE!? What were you, asleep!?”
The other minions present cower. Kamek manages to stammer out a nervous, “Well, technically yes, and so were you...”
“This is UNBELIEVABLE. What kind of wizard can’t even catch one little plumber?”
Bowser is terrifying. The size, the power, the glistening sharpness of those scales,
And yet, there’s something heartening about seeing him so enraged. 
It’s undeniable proof of their success.
This is why Toadsworth and Toadette smile, though they know that things will only get harder from here.
Bowser sees Toadette smirking and grabs her. 
“So, you think he’s home free, huh? You got lucky once! Don’t forget that!”
He tosses her to the ground and gives orders.
Station patrols at every train station and road to the Metro Kingdom. 
He’s confident they’ll find Mario, for he knows to whom he’ll return.
And speaking of which,
Perhaps it’s time they finally paid a visit to the other Mario brother...
To be continued...
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dylanobrienisbatman · 6 years
Text
100 Questions
it’s long so it’s under the cut, but man was this fun. thanks for the tag @the-most-beautiful-broom ♥ i’ll tag my loves (if you want to haha this is a lot) @raven-reyes-of-sunshine @perhalta @dracovengeance @hedaalicia and @amihanmayari
1. What is your nickname? Bails
2. How old are you? 24
3. What is your birth month? February
4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius!
5. What is your favorite color? green (Aw hey linds, same !!) 
6. What’s your lucky number? I was number 8 for marching band every single year (F8 for flute 8) except my junior year, and my junior year we had a shit show, so im calling that. 
7. Do you have any pets? 5 dogs back home in seattle but none where i live now or in NY when i get back
8. Where are you from? everywhere and nowhere. my dads military. but im american! 
9. How tall are you? 5’ 5″
10. What shoe size are you? 7
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? A whole lot, but they’re not always all with me. 
12. Are you random? not really. im pretty set in my routines and very comfortably a home body
13. Last person you texted? my best friend @broadwaybound2016
14. Are you psychic in any way? not even a little tbh
15. Last TV show watched? The Bold Type (WATCH IT ITS AMAZING)
16. Favorite movie? I’m not really sure but i just watched Love, Simon and im literally just crying because of it right now so im gonna go with that until further notice
17. Favorite show from your childhood? probably Lizze McGuire
18. Do you want children? Nope
19. Do you want a church wedding? I dont really want to get married
20. What is your religion? agnostic? maybe? im not religious, and not very spiritual. I love spirituality, things like crystals and stuff, but i try not to appropriate those things from groups/cultures who actually use them. I’d love to learn more about them and be someone who actually knew how to practice but, again, i dont want to step on toes culturally and take things that aren’t mine to take
21. Have you ever been to the hospital? a lot! a ton of surgeries on my ears
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? nope, im literally a goody two shoes
23. How is life? lovely
24. Baths or showers? showers!
25. What color socks are you wearing? i dont really wear socks? i like those little half socks. I’m not wearing any rn
26. Have you ever been famous? nope.
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? probably. i’d love to have a voice, and if it was for doing something i love, i cant think of anything better than getting to share my passion with the world like that. But it would definitely be a lot of pressure
28. What type of music do you like? i’m into literally anything. I love Hayley Kiyoko, the 1975, big fan of just basic pop like ariana grande and charlie puth, Harry Styles’s album is a masterpiece, Shawn Mendes, 5th Harmony. i love anything.
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yes!!
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? just two!
31. What position do you usually sleep in? on my stomach
32. How big is your house? my house at home is a 5 bedroom 3 bath, my apt in amsterdam rn is just a room in a hotel type place with my own bathroom, and my apt in nyc is a studio
33. What do you typically have for breakfast? i literally hardly ever eat breakfast, but i love a bagel
34. Have you ever left the country? I’m in europe RIGHT NOW! lol
35. Have you ever tried archery? once, i was terrible
36. Do you like anyone? Not right now, but i might want too
37. Favorite swear word? i love the word fuck. it’s got so much you can do with it. i swear like a sailor.
38. When do you fall asleep? ummmmmm? whenever i guess lol 
39. Do you have any scars? A few small ones. a decent one on my knee from falling off my bike when i was 8
40. Sexual orientation? Bisexual
41. Are you a good liar? excellent
42. What languages would you like to learn? ALLLL the languages. I’d love to learn native hawai’ian. i spent my high school years there and the culture is so incredible, and i was so welcomed into it by my friends who were from there, i’d love a chance to really connect too it and try to learn that. 
43. Top 10 songs? Oh boy... im just gonna bullet these because i cant decide the order but this is the general
the way i am - charlie puth
young god - halsey 
rather be - clean bandit
feelings - hayley kiyoko
woman - harry styles 
make me feel - janelle monáe 
six inch heels - beyonce 
get right witcha - migos
my my my - troye sivan 
nice for what - drake 
44. Do you like your country? i’m torn at the moment. I hate tr*mp and everything him and his stand for, but i think america can be a wonderful place. 
45. Do you have friends from the web? Yes!! <3
46. What is your personality type? MBTI: INTP 
47. Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw
48. Can you curl your tongue? yes!
49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? I am Hermione and Hermione is me. (also i really relate a lot to Lexa from the 100, which... is interesting. the way she suppresses feelings, her generally logical approach to things, the way she is totally useless around pretty girls.) 
50. Left or right handed? right!
51. Are you scared of spiders? If they’re like, big spiders yes. or if they come out of nowhere. im way more scared of cockroaches tho.
52. Favorite food? For some reason this question has been really hard for me lately? idk. i love a good indian style curry, and tacos? 
53. Favorite foreign food? Indian!
54. Are you a clean or messy person? I’m CLEAN, but im messy. i feel like cleanliness and orderliness have been misconstrued to mean the same thing, but clean is to dirty as orderly is to messy. I’m clean and messy, i am not very orderly, and i am NOT dirty. 
55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Experience a walk down the street in a city at night where im not afraid
56. What color underwear? black
57. How long does it take for you to get ready? not too long, but it sometimes takes me a long ass time to pick an outfit 
58. Do you have much of an ego? It’s as big as it should be. 
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? i suck on them until i can bite them
60. Do you talk to yourself? Constantly.
61. Do you sing to yourself? Hell yeah
62. Are you a good singer? i’m decent but i need another voice to match with. on my own i can’t carry a tune. 
63. Biggest Fears? failure. and heights. 
64. Are you a gossip? I can be, but never about like.. bad things. I like to talk about how this friend or that friend did x y z cool thing but im not like “omg did you hear so and so hooked up with so and so” 
65. Are you a grammar nazi? Not really because i can’t spell for shit
66. Do you have long or short hair? Short-ish? i cut my hair in march of LAST YEAR and then trimmed it again this year and i want it to fucking grow
67. Can you name all 50 states of America? i would definitely forget some
68. Favorite school subject? History
69. Extrovert or Introvert? Pretty introverted. 
70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nah, im not allowed too for medical reasons
71. What makes you nervous? when I see kids wandering and their parents not noticing (okay im keeping that because me too, but also travelling? like the in-transit part of travel, catching busses/trains/planes makes me panic)
72. Are you scared of the dark? not at all
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? i try not too unless its major. usually its unintentional or the mistake is irrelevant to the flow of the conversation/situation  
74. Are you ticklish? Yes, but i hate being tickled unless its like, my sister or my dad
75. Have you ever started a rumor? No
76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes i have lol (linds, ily, we DEFINITELY have been over this already)
77. Have you ever drank underage? a little, but not until i was like 19, and then i was in europe for 6 months, so i didnt REALLY drink underage until i was like... less than 6 months to 21
78. Have you ever done drugs? Pot pretty regularly here in Amsterdam, and i’ve done shrooms
79. What do you fantasize about? getting a beautiful loft in a big city (preferrably london or NYC), with a kick ass job, a dog, and maybe a girlfriend with huge curly hair.
80. How many piercings do you have? Four
81. Can you roll your R’s? Yep!
82. How fast can you type? I just took a little online quiz that said i can type 72 words per minute with 93% accuracy? 
83. How fast can you run? lol I don’t run (same linds... same)
84. What color is your hair? brown!
85. What color are your eyes? Green!
86. What are you allergic to? I’m a bit lactose intolerant and pineapple makes my tongue itch?
87. Do you keep a journal? no, but i wish i did sometimes 
88. Are you depressed about anything? I’m not depressed “about anything”, im just generally someone who experiences a pretty mild case of depression.
89. Do you like your age? Yeah, i dig it.
90. What makes you angry? bigotry, ignorance, and spilling things. I spill drinks constantly, i spilled a WHOLE BOWL OF CEREAL ON MY FLOOR THE OTHER NIGHT.  
91. Do you like your own name? I didn’t used too but i really do now
92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? not that i know of
93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I don’t want kids. 
94. What talents do you have? i have a pretty great memory, but for random things i dont need 
95. Sun or moon? Moon <3
96. How did you get your name? My dad, he just liked it. My middle name was also my dad, he heard the name Jess on the movie A Man From Snowy River and he thought it was a nice like, nickname/pet name, so he gave me the middle name Ges (pronounced like Jess) with the intent of calling me that (it didnt stick), but he didn’t want anyone to think my middle name was Jessica, so he spelled it Ges.
97. Are you religious? I am not, but i have a lot of respect for the concept of religion, as long as its used for the real purpose, which is to make people feel peace and help people find love and comfort. 
98. Have you ever been to a therapist? I have not, but i shold
99. Color of your bedspread? White
100. Color of your room? White, with one black wall 
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zombiiesque · 3 years
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NAliday 2018 Impressions
Originally published 12/13/2018
Hello, fren. It's been a quiet year here at Zombiiesque, I've been hit with a bunch of life stuff, so I've mostly been maintaining the LC Archive and that's IT. But....it's the NAliday season. I'm making cookies today, and I got my order in at the beginning of the week. They've had a little time to rest and recover (both Copals had some pretty rough mail shock!), so I wanted to give you some quick impressions. As a bonus, Crystal was included as a gift this round, and although I've been loving it for over a year now, I'll include my thoughts on that as well.
Let's dive right in, shall we?
Eternal Egypt Gold – White Amber, Egyptian Musk, Bastet Amber, Sandalwood Absolute, Lily of the Valley, SL Crimson Absolute, NA Kyphi, Guaiac wood, Lavender, Mandarin, aged Moonstone (Studio Limited) and Eternal Ankh Vanilla Husk and fleck.
Y'ALL. Okay, I've had trouble with Eternal Ankh sitting right on my skin, so I didn't jump on the Eternal Ankh Colors train, but I've been head over heels for Eternal Egypt and all of its variations right from the beginning. It's a desert island scent for me. When I saw they had done an Eternal Egypt Color, I WAS NO MORE GOOD. I knew it was going to come home with me. Looking over the notes, it had to be a sort of white floral version. Wellll, I usually hate florals, but Bastet has slowly been winning me over and since I haven't tried a single Eternal Egypt I haven't liked, bring it on!
I will say that this is probably really going to be incredible after a little aging. Eternal Egypt Decade took a full 6 months before it reached its zenith, honestly, and it's so good I could cry. I bought my 10ml of original Eternal Egypt this year, and it definitely needed a few months before it had that exact smell I was so nuts for. It's hard to describe, but you can definitely tell that it's going to be amazing, but it's not quite there yet.
So when I got Eternal Egypt Gold, I knew it was going to take time, but I couldn't help myself, and I've worn it like three times already. I'm telling you what, if you don't usually like florals, THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND. It smells expensive. It smells sophisticated. It smells like you know down deep something is incredibly sexy, but in the most hidden way...you just KNOW it's there, buried under a pretty smile, this is secretly smoldering with passion. Okay, I'm going a little far with my descriptives, but I think this is one that's flying under the radar when I can't believe it's not sold out.
It's super hard to pick out individual notes already. I don't get the kyphi, and I absolutely love kyphi. Maybe if I huff and huff at my wrist, it's there...but this is NA at the top of their game, it's like you flopped down into a fluffy white couch on the floor and you cannot tear yourself away, you're mesmerized, and you're happy to stay that way. You can smell everything all at once, you know it's there...but it's incredibly well blended, and instead you're presented with such a complete product, you can't help but be spellbound.
I SAID I WASN'T GOING TO DO THAT. Seriously, Niki, shut up and get on with it, already.
Hah. The florals are soft, white, pretty, just hanging out at the edge of that fabulous sandy fresh amber that Eternal Egypt is so famous for. It's elevating and already tranquil, stunning scent to another level. Someone said it reminded them of an expensive mainstream perfume, but yet not. I can understand that - but I'm going to say this. This is what those pretentious, expensive main stream perfumes WANT TO BE BUT THEY CANNOT GET THERE. Pffft. You wish, sister. Okay, I think that's all I've got. But I want y'all to know, this needs to be revisited after a few months, because it's going to change, it's going to develop into something even better than it already is.
Oh! And I noticed, some folks are thinking this is a version of Eternal Ankh - it's most definitely Eternal Egypt.
Vanilla Copal - Peruvian Copal EO, Copal Resin, Crystalline Absolute, Kobalt Absolute, NA Studio Snow Musk (sweet wood-infused musk), Vanilla Bean extract 12.13.18
Okay, so this just sold out today! I had a strong suspicion it would, I'm glad I snatched a bottle up before it got gone.
Okay, this one and its sister took significantly longer to recover from traveling across the country. It was hard for me to sit on my hands and wait, because I was looking forward to the copals - it's my favorite note. I definitely get a couple of different copals here - one is sweeter, and the other's smoky. Both are delightfully resinous, and snake gorgeously around the vanillas. I'm getting the sweetness of the Snow Musk - this is reminding me of Cemetery Musk, but a little chillier? Mama likes! Man. If you just got this, and you think it smells funky, I beg you - PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON IT. Give it a few days, like 4 or 5, and then try it again. It went from funky to absolutely mesmerizing. This feels...cozy. Like wood crackling in a fireplace, sitting wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket and reading while snow is falling outside of your window. The snow creates that quiet, spellbinding atmosphere....hang on, I just read a piece that describes that the other day. Okay, here it is! Anyway, it feels like that - it takes you out of the absolute frenetic energy of the season, it allows you to take a deep breath, and just calm down. What a gift this perfume is. So lovely. I wish I had been able to get a couple bottles of this. What a lovely meld of vanilla, resinous amber, and musk! Don't sleep on this, if you see it in the Marketplace, you might want to snatch a bottle up. I am SO glad I don't have seller's regret on this, hah! But I've been through that with more than one perfume, and I knew it just needed a little time and it would be magical.
Sandalwood Copal – Venezuelan Copal EO, Copal Resin, Sandalwood, Tibetan Sandalwood (future SL), SL Crystal Absolute, Skin Musk, SL N8 Musk and Crimson Musk Absolute
Oh, my goodness. I think that, if possible, I might like this even more than Vanilla Copal! Hummmmm. This is....this is evening, whereas Vanilla Copal is afternoon. This is an evening of quiet and contentment, a mug of tea, the weather is cold, but you've got someone to keep you company and just have some time together to enjoy the season. Yeahhhh. So this has got a few musks, and I can actually pick out the Crimson and Skin Musk....I love NA's musks. They're all somewhat sexy, and I think that's why I'm even more in love with Sandalwood. The two copals, and two sandalwoods, are well blended here, but I can actually smell both and they're really so good together. I love woods, resins, and musks, so this is TOTALLY in my wheelhouse. I might require a backup. This needed aging too, but I actually knew a few days before Vanilla that this was going to blow me away. There's a cleanness in this that keeps this from being too deep in resin territory, and the Crystal is just a whisper here. Do you need both of these? YES. They're quite different, despite the commonality of copal. Unequivocably, yes. Both of them give a lovely sense of contentment and an oasis of peace in a busy, stressful season.
Crystal: Harvested in Egypt with Egyptian Black Vanilla pods, flecks extracted and blended into a beautiful and smooth White Musk. For this perfume, it is about precise binding and timing and we hope you enjoy it as it is one of our customer-favorite single notes.
I've had Crystal for probably about a year. To me, this is slightly chewier vanilla that Crystalline? Crystalline on me is lighter, more airy, a sort of floaty, transparent, gauzy vanilla. My favorite straight up vanilla, but Crystal has grown on me too. It's got more...texture and weight than Crystalline. There's nothing I've worn it with that it hasn't enhanced. It's more of a musky type, not foodie at all. My favorite pairings though are usually with patchouli, particularly Patchouli Ombre and Labyrinth. It's absolutely lovely on its own, and lasts quite a bit longer than Crystalline, which kind of fades after a while and needs to be reapplied, even when it's aged. Not that I'm complaining, I'm happy to slather it on, hah! Also, Crystal has a lot more throw - it's not shy. I've gotten quite a few compliments when wearing it! Especially when I pair it with patchouli, or musks. One of my favorite musks to wear with it is Egyptian Musk. *swoon*
Okay, fren. I promise to try and come back sooner this time, but I am still active in the Tent on Facebook, and of course the LC Archives. I hope you have a lovely holiday season. What NAliday scents did you treat yourself to, or are you still trying to decide what you've got to have?
I will try to get back and write up some of the Resurgence scents that I have, along with that incredible bottle of Christopher that you see in the photo.
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phanarchy-blog · 6 years
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The Flame That Burns Me - Ch. 4
Genre/Rating: Angst, Drama, Rated T.
Words: 2.2k
Fic Teaser: Dan and Phil are not together. Really, they aren’t, despite what Dan wants. So then why is everything put at risk when Dan gets together with a fan? Everything is about to change for them, in a way they never expected.
Chapter Summary: Dan has learned that Bethany, long time fan and his one-night-stand, is pregnant. He knows where he stands with her, but where does this leave him and Phil?
Whole Fic Warnings (all may not apply to this chapter): Swearing, aggression, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex, sensual scenes (no smut)
Start from the beginning!
Dan wandered into the flat at half past ten at night. The lounge was dim, lit by a single scented candle, moonlight, and the screen off Phil’s laptop shining back at his somber face. Dan shut the door behind him, turning the handle to check its security.
He nearly tip-toed into the room, unsure where to begin with Phil.
Phil had been so odd lately, Dan realized. He couldn’t pinpoint why, but there had been a growing distance between him and his best friend that tore him up inside.
With significant effort to seem casual, Dan plopped onto the sofa next to Phil. He could see the conflict flash behind his eyes, whether to look at him or maintain glued to his screen. The latter won out.
Dan sighed deeply. Yes, Phil was royally pissing him off, but Dan was sick of the fighting. He just wanted this to be over with. He loved Phil. In every possible way, and despite everything they’ve been through as of late, he loved Phil. And he just wanted to make everything okay again.
“So,” he began. “Do you want to know how it went?”
He waited for a response. Phil stopped scrolling, but didn’t look up to meet his gaze.
“I suppose you have to learn sooner or later. In the interest of getting, whatever this is,” he gestured between them, “over with as soon as possible, I’ll just tell you. Bethany is pregnant. It’s mine. She’s keeping the baby. I’m going to be as involved as I can be.”
Dan spoke with a tone of finality, as he figured that is what set Phil off.
“I bet she’s playing you,” Phil said, monotoned.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He tried to keep his voice in check, despite his use of language.
“It means I think she’s lying. You said she recognized you, yeah?” Phil looked up at him for the first time all night. “She probably knows this is the only way to get you to stick around.”
“Phil, what the hell? Since when have you been the type of guy to accuse women of lying about this stuff?” By now, the edge of Dan’s voice was beginning to crack, the overwhelm of the day weighing down on him. Home should be where that weight lifts, and Phil has always been the one to help him lift it. It isn’t like that anymore.
“I’m just looking out for you, mate. And I don’t trust her,” Phil said.
“Trust her?” Dan scoffed. “You don’t know her like I do.”
“You mean I didn’t chat with her for five minutes, have sex, then not speak to her for weeks? You’re right, I don’t know her like you do.”
Dan stood up off the sofa now, the tension in his body rising, and he found himself in need of shifting the dynamic of power between them. He had to be above Phil.
“Watch what you say, Phil!” He shouted. “This could be the mother of my child!”
Phil kept himself planted right where he was, two fingers falling back on his track pad and continuing to scroll. He laughed under his breath.
“Could be,” he said. A reminder of the uncertainty even in Dan’s choice of phrasing.
Dan had enough. He paced the room one more time, and put his hands on his hips. He looked over at Phil, who kept his eyes trained to Twitter in front of him. He refused to even look at Dan now.
“What’s your problem anyway, man? This isn’t you,” Dan said, shaking his head.
“My problem? Right now, I think you’re my problem! Going around and sleeping with random girls and screwing up everything!”
In all his life, Dan had never felt more alone. Not when he left for college, not before when all his friends liked other people more than him. It was now. He was scared, confused, and unsure of himself. He needed Phil now more than ever, but it seemed that every word out of his mouth only pushed him further away.
Dan could feel his anger simmering into something else. Tears threatened the corners of his eyes and he blinked them back. He sniffed hard to keep his nose from dripping.
All at once, Dan realized he hadn’t cried yet. Not since he came home after his first fight with Phil, after how desperately he hoped to keep it all a secret from him. Now there was no turning back. He could never undo this fault he created between them. 
The room was spinning. Dan realized how his breath was coming in jagged and pained. It burned at the back of his throat. Around the sides of his vision, a haze of blue circled and began closing in. He fell to his knees.
Phil only looked up from his lap top when he heard kneecaps crack against the hardwood. “Dan?”
No amount of blinking could keep Dan from crying now. He regret it already, letting it all go in front of Phil. He wished he could have made it to his own room, held on to the anger a little longer. Now that it had begun, much like opening floodgates, he couldn’t control himself.
Phil brushed the laptop off his legs swiftly. He could see the red of Dan’s face, regardless of how he tried to hide it behind his hands. He raced across the room to meet Dan there on the floor. Phil pulled him in close to his chest.
He couldn’t bear to see Dan cry.
“I didn’t mean it,” he said. “I’m sorry. Don’t cry.” Phil was damn near petting Dan’s head, flattening the curls into a lumpy mess.
“I’m so fucked, Phil.” Dan wiped his sleeve across his upper lip. “And you, I couldn’t. You just,” he couldn’t finish the sentence.
“I’ve been selfish, I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Phil felt a tear stain down his cheek as well. He watched as it fell into Dan’s curls, dripping through like a meandering river until it soaked in.
“It’s just that,” he started. “I know it’s worse for you. I do. But I’ve been so worried for me too. What am I gonna do without you?” Phil cried.
“What do you mean?” Dan asked, gaining his composure. “I’m right here.”
“Yeah, but for how long? You’re gonna have a family, Dan. And you’re gonna leave me. I can’t stand that!”
Phil hadn’t considered it until that moment. He could feel the wall he had been building tumble and crash around the two of them on the floor.
Dan chuckled dimly, his breath had slowed enough to see the humor in what had crossed his mind.
“We’re not lovers,” he said, repeating Phil’s words from a few weeks prior. “So let’s not fight like we are.”
He waited for Phil to laugh. He hoped that it would be a classic Dan thing to say, and it would brighten the mood just a bit. Time passed and Phil had yet to say a word. Dan turned his head to see Phil’s face, twisted up with nerves.
“Maybe we should be,” he said finally. Phil traced his hand down Dan’s arm, feeling the warmth of his skin.
“Phil?”
Dan looked up into his eyes, reflecting his genuine intent. But he was wavering, his pupils flicking back and forth quickly to avoid Dan’s gaze. He could see the fear run across his eyes, the inability to step back off the ledge. It was the moment in cartoons between when the animal realizes they’ve walked off a cliff and just before they begin to fall.
Dan’s chest tightened once again, not in anguish but an anxious excitement that comes right before doing something bold.
He sat upright and turned to face Phil, lifting his hand to fit over the slope of his jaw tenderly. Phil looked him in the eye then, and when Dan leaned in close to him, he met his kiss.
It was slow, and uncertain. Dan brushed his lips gently over Phil’s, testing the water, unable to dive. He pulled back almost imperceptibly, just enough that their lips were no longer pressed together and Phil could feel his breath, warm and heavy.
Phil closed the distance and their noses bumped together. He was insistent, needy.
Phil realized how his heart was beating faster and he raised his hand to graze against the prickly hair on the back of Dan’s head. He opened his mouth and ran his fingers down to curl at the back of Dan’s neck as Dan took the opportunity to slip past his lips.
Dan grabbed Phil by the shoulder, twisting around and pushing him down to the floor, hovering above him as they made out.
“Is this okay?” Phil whispered as he broke the kiss off. “Are you sure about this?”
“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life,” Dan responded urgently. He slid his hand from Phil’s shoulder, down his chest and across his abdomen. He worked his hand underneath his shirt and gripped him on the hip, keeping him where he wanted him as Phil lifted his head to meet Dan’s mouth once again.
Phil woke first, his bleary eyes blinking in the dim light of the early morning. His arm tingled, numb. He followed his awareness from the tips of his fingers, to the weight of Dan’s head on his bicep, and the warmth of his skin against his bare chest. He shifted slightly and the luxurious faux fur blanket skimmed against his body from his shoulder to his knees, leaving his feet frozen.
He shimmied as best he could, trying to escape the sofa without waking Dan. He stumbled as his leg got caught in the blanket and ripped completely off Dan’s naked body. He stirred at the heavy thump of Phil’s heel on the hardwood floor.
“Phil?” he asked, rubbing his eye with the pad of his hand. Phil turned back to him and leaned down.
“I’m just going to make some coffee and get some clothes for us,” he whispered. “I’ll be right back.” He leaned in closer to peck Dan gently on the forehead, his lips getting caught by the curls falling across his face.
Dan smiled softly. He reached for the blanket, but Phil grabbed it away from him and laid it across Dan’s body before he turned and walked away.
Dan took a moment to remember the night before. All the details of the night. In his absence, Dan thought of the cool expanse of Phil’s skin against his. He could still feel the tickle of Phil’s lashes against his cheek, and the way their hands knotted together when they needed something to hold onto. What he remembered most was the overwhelming sense of security he felt in Phil’s arms the night prior, which he hadn’t experienced in a very long time.
Phil returned in emoji pajama bottoms and a grey pocket tee. He carried Dan’s joggers and a hoodie folded over one forearm, and carefully set a flooded mug one the side table. He sipped from his own before sitting next to Dan, offering the clothes, and fixating his gaze on the swirling liquid.
Dan giggled underneath his breath. Even before they had sex, being naked around each other wasn’t the end of the world. Somehow, the fact that Phil tried to protect whatever modesty Dan may keep only endeared him more in Dan’s eyes. He slid the joggers on and fought until the hoodie cooperated with him. He grabbed his coffee off the table and blew on it gently, taking a slow drink, perfect.
“I’ll go first if you don’t want to,” Phil said, causing Dan to snort a bit of his coffee. Phil cracked a smile despite the atmosphere.
“Go for it,” Dan said, setting his mug aside and turning to his friend.
Phil hesitated. He hadn’t expected this to be so easy, which made the rest difficult.
“I guess, I’ll start by apologizing, because from the start of this I know I played a role, and I’ve been putting all the blame on you, and,” he was beginning to ramble. He glanced up to Dan’s eyes. “And I said some really crappy things when you had enough of a burden already. I wasn’t helpful, and I was a bad friend.”
“Phil you already apologized for that,” Dan started.
“And-” Phil continued, despite Dan’s interruption, “it’s all been because I like you. I didn’t know that then, but I know that now. I can’t walk away from this without telling you that-” he stopped.
Phil sighed and looked for the answers in the bottom of his coffee. It was the first time it ever betrayed him.
“Without telling me what, Phil?” Dan asked. He waited. He tried to give him the time to find the words. He tried to be patient. Dan was not a patient person.
“Tell me what? Come on, it can’t be that bad,” he encouraged.
“I want to be with you, Dan.”
“I want that too.” He leaned to the side until his head rested on Phil’s shoulder. Phil dropped his head until he felt Dan’s tangled mop of hair against his cheek. They sat like this, soaking in each other’s presence, until the sun rose above the horizon and the golden light washed over their faces.
Thank you to everyone reading this! I appreciate everyone’s support for the previous chapters The end here is a bit cheesy to me, what do you think? Criticism strongly welcomed! Continue onto Ch. 5!
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A few nights later, after class, I walk to the Palladium-- NYU’s athletic center, on 12th Street and 3rd Avenue. As I walk north on Broadway, the Arctic air so cold against my face, snots dripping from my nose all the way to my neck. Once inside the building, though, it's toasty and warm. The smell of chlorine from the Olympic sized swimming pool in the basement of the building is so overwhelming you can smell it even on the 3rd floor where the general exercise equipment is located.
I change in the women’s locker room and walk out into the empty gym. There is hardly anyone here at this hour. It's almost 10pm but I estimate I’ll still be able to get a solid 4 miles in plus a shower before they close at 11. I choose a treadmill, turn it on, set the pace and begin to run. Lately, after my evening classes, I like to come to the gym and run. This helps to clear my mind. My sprints have gotten faster and faster. I’ve achieved a steady 8 minute mile pace. It feels good to accomplish the goals I’ve set for myself-- chipping away at my run-time, resulting in tangible proof of my hard work.
While I run I become hyper-aware of the passing of time, and I am also aware of my physical movement. As I run, I imagine the landscape of Florida. Thoughts come in and are subsequently pushed out of my mind as my feet pound down onto the circulating rubber of the treadmill-- the weight of my body shakes the machine more and more the harder I run.  My mediation through this action repeats over and over inside my brain: “It is over now, it is in the past. The past is behind me, and the future is in my control.”
I imagine JR: I see his face as I saw it for the very last time-- framed by the window of the cab as he shut the car door. It is like a short movie that plays in my head every time I run; after the cab comes the memory of sitting at Reagan International drinking whiskey alone at the airport bar, tears streaming down my face-- so much so that strangers stare but they know better than to ask me what’s wrong. Then the memory of the Washington Monument visible through the oval of my window seat as the plane takes off and flies over the Mall before setting course south towards Florida. In memory, I can see myself in third person: sad aching body as it sobs in near silence for all 800 miles back to Tampa where my mother will pick me up once we land because I can’t stand for anyone else to see me in this state. That feeling was boiling over so intensely inside of me I swear I could taste it in my mouth-- my heart heavy with a new kind of sadness-- aware for the first time with absolute certainty that I meant nothing to him.
***
I’d gone to visit JR in D.C. where he’d moved in early 2008, after shit hit the fan once Margaret found out about not only me, but the other handful of woman he’d been sleeping with after breaking the seal of infidelity in my bedroom that past July. JR had stuck around just long enough for the full force of the crash to whip back from him to me.
Everyone loved Margaret. She was universally lovable. A thing I never considered until after, and under the weight of everyone else’s judgement: how easy it is to slut shame the woman. Everyone expected this from JR. He’d done it before. But, they hadn’t from me; well-- How could I? What was I thinking?
I was a home-wrecker, a whore. A pathetic drunk who ought to gain some self-respect. An elitist bitch who destroyed everything. Funny how quick a town full of miscreants gains a moral compass. Except it wasn’t really funny at all. My spirit was crushed; instead of having him, I had the judgemental eyes of everyone else around me. Wherever I went, there they were looking at me like I was a disease, like I was crazy. Was I crazy? Maybe I was crazy.
First week in January, after she’d kicked him out, JR came to find me at Dirty Nelly’s-- a bar just south of State Theater on 8th street that people would come to when the band at the Emerald was awful. Nelly’s was unremarkable other than the fact that it had a pool table and shag-carpeting which seemed like a really poor choice for a dive bar. But if the Emerald was out of the question that night, you knew Nelly’s was where everyone was gonna be.
I was surprised to see him, further still that he came straight over to my table. We hadn’t spoken since the Christmas Party. The first words out of his mouth were: “We should talk. Alone. She kicked me out.”
When the shoe finally drops, no matter how much you think you’re ready for it, you really just aren’t. I told him okay, that I’d be back and went off to find Quinn.
Quinn was in town on winter break from the New School where she was finishing the last year of her BFA. She’d been staying with me on my couch like she always would. I found her in the bathroom reapplying her lipstick and chatting with Carolyn who was taking a piss. I told her what JR’d just disclosed. She says back to me straight away, “get him out of here-- I’ll find someone to go home with.”
Quinn is my best friend. We were born exactly one week apart, and on each other’s due dates: me one week early, her a week late. Friends since grade 6, she’d moved to New York City in 2005 with Laura before the thought had really occurred for me to leave Florida. They both live in a basement cement loft off the Halsey Stop on the L train where they commute into the City, working together at the Strand Bookstore in Union Square.
Quinn’s tall at 5’11, with curves for days, a body built just exactly like Beyonce. Her eyes the color of dark chocolate with the face like the fawn of a deer, Quinn is both sweet and steady. Her presence in any room feels like the steep, strong column holding up the architecture of everything. I kissed her on the cheek before scooping JR up and driving us both back to my place.
There on my couch, we sat in dark silence for a long time before he says, “You weren’t the only one, and she doesn’t know about you yet. But it’s only matter of time and you should prepare yourself for that. We both should”
I didn’t say anything back. After a while he went on.
“This a mess, and it is going to get a lot worse. I need to figure out how to not live here anymore and fast”
His eyes are wet with tears and I realize for the first time just how much he really does love her. What I feel in return for JR, as he sits in so much sadness on my couch isn’t jealousy, or anger, or fear. But, rather, just an intense desire for him to be okay. It’s really dark in my house, all the lights are out in the living room but the lamp left on in the kitchen casts shadows, creating a pattern across JR’s pale and tear stained face. I’m fixated on him, but he won’t look back at me. He’s looking at the wall with his forehead in his hand. I start to cry too, but I’m not really sure why and I don’t want him to see so I get up to pour us a couple glasses of bourbon. I return, taking a place on the floor, looking up at him in the dark I hand him the glass.  
He sips, and after a while he says, “We can’t be together, it’s a mistake. It was a mistake for me to come here.”  
I don’t say anything but I reach for his hand and he takes it.
“I love her, and--and look what I did, I- I can’t do that to you too. I can’t do that to you, period. I don’t know what is going to happen next but we should stay as far away from one another as possible. For your sake and for the sake of what’s gonna happen once this all comes out.” His voice is stammering.
For the first time I speak: “I’m not going to do that, JR.”
I feel calm as I climb into his lap. Holding his face in my hands, I comfort him the way I know how. I lift off my shirt and put his hands on my hips.
“Everything will be okay, no matter what happens, everything is going to be fine. ” I tell to him, my voice full of strength from a source I can’t identify but feel with conviction.
His body presses hard to mine in recognition. We made love in the middle of the living room floor and wake to the sound of Quinn coming in the back door the next morning.
Within the month JR’s left, nevering having said good-bye. He took me to the Hold Steady show a couple days after we made love in the living room. They were playing the Skatepark of Tampa Anniversary show hosted at Czar-- a communist themed Russian club in Ybor that has thick red velvet curtains, tiger striped carpeting, an excellent vodka selection and a huge stage in its ‘Imperial Theater’ where bands would play. He’d bought my ticket and my drinks, and even helt my hand at one point but after that night JR stopped taking my calls.
One night a couple weeks later, at the Independant-- a fancy hipster bar in St. Pete with over 70 international beers on tap, I spotted him there with a pretty girl in a pixie cut. Because God must hate me, our two parties combined and there I am sitting across from him with the new girl’s hand in his, all this visible to me just under the metal table where we sat. It’s her birthday, I’ve gathered. She is 23 and her name is Jenn. JR avoids eye contact with me until, at some point, his gaze searches then finds mine. We are sitting directly across from one another and a million miles apart. Across the distance, his eyes say to me ‘I’m sorry you’re seeing this’ but not ‘I’m sorry this is happening’. The inflections of his facial movements tell me ‘I told you I’m bad news. I wish you would had listened.’
That February, Sarah told me he’d moved. I pretended like I could give a shit, but my heart was broken. JR had moved to D.C. to take a contract job until the position he’d really been gunning for would come together: front end web design for XM Radio where his sister worked and had arranged for an interview. Back in St. Pete everyone had found out that I was the one he’d cheated with and everywhere I went the gossip followed. Even people I considered friends looked at me like I was pathetic and not a good person. Ill equipped to deal with this feeling, I was drinking a lot. That April, just after my 24th birthday, I ran into him at the Emerald-- he’d come down for his baby sister’s wedding and was out on the town showing off how he didn’t live here anymore. At the bar I mentioned wanting to come visit and he said I should. I justified it as professional development: The Women in the Arts Museum had just opened, for which my company was a sponsor, and Raymond James would pay for the trip if I wrote a piece about the inaugural exhibition. I wrote that piece, but I went exclusively to see him.
I went to D.C. because I wanted JR to give me something I knew in the back of my mind he probably never would-- some indication that I mattered to him, that all of what had happened was real. That it transpired, that I wasn’t losing my mind. Or, conversely, that I meant nothing: I needed closure and I naively thought he’d give it to me of free will. But instead, all I got was the knowing that I was just be a mistake he made-- a thing he had come to regret.
We spent the weekend in the Beacon Hotel on Capitol Hill because he was freshly kicked out of the apartment he was shacking-up in while taking advantage of a 39 year old woman who thought he loved her. Terri was also who he’d been interviewing with for that position at XM, and once hired she would be his boss. But he didn’t love her. In reality, he just couldn’t afford rent for his own place until after saving up a few paychecks and he desperately wanted that job-- those saved up paychecks JR subsequently blew on our hotel room because he was completely hitting rock bottom and lacked all semblance of self-control.
He’d seemed excited for my visit at first but once I was there, JR was different-- nothing felt right.  His intense desire for me to leave him alone was perceptible the entire time I was with him, even when we were having sex. When JR put me in that cab and slammed shut the door, I knew we’d never speak again. The relief that I was finally going plastered across his face clear as day.
Hand written on hotel stationary, and pressed in the palm of his hand before putting me in that cab:  
“You should know that I really believed that I could forgive you. Though I know now that I can’t. Wilde says those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love’s tragedies. And I’m better for that; for having loved you despite the fact that the esoteric nature of our relationship has finally knocked the wind out of me, and I’m resolved to the fact that whatever the reason, you and I are over.
Maybe in another lifetime we’ll get it right.
-Samantha”
Back in St. Pete, once the reality had really set in, Carolyn, Diane and I went to the ocean in the middle of the night because being in the salt water was the only thing that would calm my aching soul. We stripped all our clothes off and swam far out into the Gulf. Carolyn was the first to notice the phosphorescence, she pointed it out and we both looked down to see the shimming greenblue of the bioluminescent tides as they rolled over our bare breasts.
“It’s the color they make when they announce to the world, letting each other know ‘I exist, I am here!’, so they can find one another and reproduce.” Carolyn tells us. “Isn’t it magical?”  She is dipping her hand down into the water and scooping up a handful of the shimming water.
I let my body float in the Gulf as I watched how the colors looked just like thousands of fireflies all over my skin. I looked up at the full moon and I saw how the world was so big and full of so much beauty. I knew then that my story wouldn’t end here in Florida, I was destined for something more and I was free now from the power JR had held over me. I would find my magic, I would cast my life like a net into the great expanse of the sea-- I would be open to whatever would come of it.
***
While I’m running late at night at the gym, I confront these memories head on: this sacred space, with the full force of my body in motion, is the only place I let these thoughts seep in.
I concentrate on how every mile completed is a mile further away from him and closer to the promise I’d made to myself that night we went swimming in the ocean. This thought helps me run farther, and run faster. Despite what’s transpired, my love for him persists. It bubbles up in my torso, so I push it down deep into the recesses of my soul. I lock it down inside of me and I imagine that I’ve thrown away the key. This becomes the fuel from which I draw upon as I make my way in the world outside of where I’ve come from. I am dedicated to my successes not for him, but in spite of him. I am my own keeper: my body will never be broken for JR. He will no longer drink from my blood. My love for him reinvents as a way by which I make sense of myself, and I put that self at the forefront of everything.
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gldngrl7 · 7 years
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Karamel Fic: Permission to Flourish (4/11)
Title: Permission to Flourish
Author: gldngrl7
Date Started: February 12, 2017
Rating: T for Teen (I know!  I can’t believe it either!)
 Author’s Notes:  
·         This story is the sequel to Bulletproof. Please read that one-shot before diving into this one.
·         There is angst in this story but I promise a happy ending.
·         There’s a few original characters in this story. I hope you like them.  I hope you love them.
·         Comments are welcomed, flames are destroyed with my freeze breath.
      Everything that's broke
             Leave it to the breeze
                     Let the ashes fall
      Forget about me
               Come on, let it go
                      Just let it be
      Why don't you be you?
                 And I'll be me
 James Bay – ‘Let It Go’
Chapter 4/11
  Superhuman or not, when the mind is in a state of panic one cannot move fast enough, think logically enough, or see clearly enough to accomplish even the simplest of tasks.
Mike had been through this a thousand times before, but never with someone for whom he had truly cared on a personal level.  He had ferried countless injured passengers to the nearest hospital for medical treatment, looked into the eyes of equally innumerable parents and loved ones who didn’t hesitate to beg him to save the lives so precious to them.
But looking into Kara’s eyes as he laid Amelia’s form into her arms, for the first time he knew what those people had felt. The desperation—the brush of smoky wings from black demons coming to steal something you love from you.
His hands shook as he attempted to slot the shaking key into the ignition of his 10-year-old Honda Civic.  The administration office was contacting her mother who would meet him there as soon as could arrive.  Luckily, she worked as a nurse at the same hospital and would already be there.  Amelia’s father had taken off when she was just a toddler, explaining why she had attached herself so strongly to Mike, as the only available father figure currently in her life.
Trembling hands unable to get the key into the ignition of his car, Mike sat back against the seat and took a long, deep breath, clasping his hands together in an effort to cease the shaking.  “You’re not in control,” he said aloud.  
It was a mantra he began several years ago.  When training with Clark there had been times when superpowers hadn’t been enough to save lives and Clark had explained that, if he truly wanted this life, he had to find a way to remind himself that sometimes he was just as human as everyone else.  That there were no such things as infallibility or imperviousness, not really. “You are not in control.  You are powerless.  There is nothing you can do now.  She’s in the doctor’s hands.”
Amelia’s backpack was tucked next to him in the passenger seat and he reached for it, withdrawing the tuxedoed bunny rabbit with floppy ears.  Squeezing it tightly, he held it against his forehead, drawing on every ounce of strength he had to regain some measure of control.  “She’s going to be okay,” he said, hoping there was one benevolent god in this whole universe that might hear his prayer.  “Please let her be okay.”
Despite of the hard lump of emotion choking his throat, Mike refused to cry.  Crying would be a white flag of surrender and he was not giving up on her until he knew there was nothing more to be done.  And if the worst happened, the unimaginable, he would have to be strong for her mother and for the other kids in his class, who would have trouble understanding what happened or why.  Though no one could ever understand why such things happened—not even the grown-ups.
With one hand he gripped the steering wheel so hard he left imprints of his fingers on the polyurethane grip.  “Damn it!” he shouted.  He’d left National City six years ago because he wanted to make himself bulletproof, to lock away the parts of himself that could feel anything like this again.  But he’d had this calling and gotten this job, and each and every one of his students had gotten past his carefully constructed shields.  And he’d let them.  He had let them in.  How could he be the best teacher he could be if he didn’t? And none had burrowed deeper than his rainbow-bright Amelia.
Having gathered himself enough to try again, Mike slid his key into the ignition of his car and cranked the engine and pulled out of his parking spot.  
Just a few miles from the hospital it should have been a five minute drive, but as if the cosmos was torturing him, every light turned red just before he reached it, and road construction a mile from the medical center filtered all the vehicles down to one slow moving lane, until he was ready to scream his lungs out.  He could have flown and arrived in seconds, but how would he have explained leaving his car in the teacher’s lot?
He parked in the lot outside of the Emergency Room entrance and grabbed Amelia’s backpack and bunny.  At the desk he wasted no time on pleasantries.  “Amelia Connors?” he asked.  “She was just brought in,” he babbled.
Directed to the third floor surgical waiting room, Mike found a devastated Belinda Connors dressed in pink scrubs, slumped in couch, and her face in his hands.  From the broken expression on her face, he can’t help but imagine that the worst has come to pass.  “Belinda?” he worried.
Her head snapped up, tears streaming down her face and in the space of a breath she rocketed into his waiting arms.  Mike held her close, stroking her back with one hand as she tucked her head into his neck.  He gathered the courage to speak, uncertain if he truly wanted the answer. “Is she…?”
“In surgery,” Belinda supplied, pulling away from him, but leaving her hands on his shoulders.   “The doctors said a few more minutes and my baby would have been past the point of no return.”  
Mike walked her back over to the couch and guided her into a sitting position—mostly because if he didn’t sit soon, his knees were going to collapse beneath the weight of his relief.   Amelia was still alive and for now, that was enough.
 ****
  She sat unnoticed in the corner of the surgical waiting room, flipping nervously through an outdated magazine before Mon-El rushed in.  She moved to stand, to greet him, but then the woman was in his arms and he was soothing her like she was all he could see in the world.  He was so caught up in her that he hadn’t even sensed her presence in the room.
There were multiple operating theaters on this floor and so the surgical lobby was large, and there were seven other people waiting to hear news of their loved ones.  But he didn’t seem to notice any of them, least of all her.
She didn’t turn up her hearing to listen to what they were saying, mostly because she was afraid to know.  Kara watched as he ushered the woman gently back to her seat, and then reached for her hand, their heads hovering close to one another. What remained of Kara’s heart withered inside of her.  When she’d taken the little girl into her arms, the desperate plea in his eyes had struck her like a spike to the chest.  She was special to him, and now that she’d seen Mon-El with the child’s mother, Kara suspected that she knew why.
Clearly…she was too late.
Grabbing her purse, she stood quietly from her chair and slipped stealthily out of the room.
****
 It was immediately clear to anyone that saw mother and daughter together where Amelia got her effervescent personality.  Though unlike her daughter, Belinda’s hair and eyes were dark, Amelia had clearly inherited her mother’s tiny stature and bubbly nature.  In the few months since meeting her at parent-teacher night, Mike could tell that Belinda was the kind of woman who never let anything get her down for long. “Supergirl brought her,” Belinda told him and then dramatically rolled her mahogany brown eyes.  “Of course you would know that, you must have been there. But…Supergirl?  What was she even doing here in Philadelphia?”
“A little out of her jurisdiction,” he agreed, with a raspy chuckle, hoping to elicit a smile.
“Why her and not Valor?” Belinda wondered.
“Maybe he’s on vacation,” Mike posited, reaching to take her hand in his.  She clasped his hand back with all of her strength.  “Or maybe she is.  Supergirl…come to see our fair city.  Maybe she got tired of the temperate climate and constant sunshine of National City and wanted to experience the seasons.”  When Belinda side-eyed him, he defended his idea, “Hey, superheroes must need vacations too!”
Belinda snorted, a dimple on her cheek making a brief appearance.  “I guess it doesn’t matter anyway.  I’m just glad she was there.”
“So am I,” Mike echoed, realizing for the first time it was the truth.  He was glad to have Amelia’s well-being taken out of his hands, because holding that precious life was a pressure he wasn’t sure he could have done justice.
“I wish she’s stayed around long enough for me to thank her.”
Interesting, Mike thought.  Kara was here just when he needed her the most, and then disappeared like a wraith.  That didn’t make any sense.  “She’s gone?” he asked, disturbed by the sound of his own disappointment.  ‘He was not disappointed!’ he lied to himself.
“They said she flew in, told them that my baby had a…bleed in her brain and that there wasn’t much time.  She stayed long enough to make sure Amelia was receiving prompt care, and then she slipped away.  They said one second she was there, and the next she was just…gone.  They say she doesn’t like to stick around for the gratitude.”
“Who says that?” he asked, confused.  That didn’t sound like the Kara he knew—the one that relished the spotlight.
“Everyone,” Belinda replied.  “Don’t you read the news?”
“Only when I have to,” he answered truthfully. For the past few years, Mike had intentionally avoided news having anything to do with National City and its favorite adoptive daughter.  He learned long ago that subjecting himself to that torture did nothing to help him move forward with his life.  “I teach 24 second graders,” he joked, “who’s got time for news?  I barely have time for sleep.”
“Amelia loves Valor but I want her to learn about Supergirl, too.  I want her to see that a woman can be just as strong as a man, stronger even.  You see?”
“Of course.”
“Her father left us when she was so young…I was so young—only twenty-three.  I worked my way through school and got my nursing degree.  I was proud of how strong and independent I was, but Amelia doesn’t understand any of that, at least not yet.  But stopping a runaway train…that she understands.”
“Well, Supergirl is definitely strong,” Mike agreed, remembering Amelia’s drawing from that morning.  “And she certainly doesn’t need anyone.  That’s for sure.”
“Amelia’s going to be so mad when she wakes up and realizes that Supergirl saved her life, but she missed the whole thing.” Belinda caught sight of the backpack in Mike’s other hand.  “Oh, you brought her things!”
“I thought she might need Mr. Snuggles when she wakes up.”  Mike held the backpack aloft, withdrawing the tuxedoed bunny.
“You know about Mr. Snuggles, huh?”
“I have my ways.”  Mike shrugged in a self-deprecating manner that won him another dimple, which disappeared almost immediately as she crumbled into tears.
“She tries so hard to keep him secret,” Belinda sniffed, but held herself together.  “She wants so badly to be strong.”
“Someone once told me that true strength is knowing when to accept help,” he smiled, hoping his words soothed her.  “Even if that help comes from a stuffed bunny,” he sighed, handing the bunny over to her.  Mike reached for her hand again, this time to offer her some of his strength. “She’s plenty strong, Belinda, and she’s going to be okay.  You have to believe that.”
Belinda nodded her head fervently before reaching to pull her into her arms.  “She really loves you, you know,” Belinda whispered against his shirt.  “Every day…you’re all she talks about if she’s not talking about Valor or Supergirl or Mr. Snuggles.  You make her excited to go to school every day.”
Mike felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment as he shook his head.  “I think she’d be excited about school no matter who her teacher was.  She’s just that kind of kid.”
Belinda disagreed.  “This is probably inappropriate to say but…she wishes you were her dad.  She doesn’t remember her father and you’re the most important man in her life right now. Stable,” she qualified. “Caring.  She’d do anything for your approval…or attention.”
Is that what she was doing on that jungle gym? Trying to get his attention?  Mike felt his guilt kick up another ten notches. “I wasn’t paying attention,” he confessed.  “I mean…there were so many kids on the playground and I had stopped to talk to Erica…Mrs. Doland, for a moment.  She was climbing the rocket where I couldn’t see.”
“I’m not blaming you, Mike,” she hastened to say. “I can barely keep my eyes on the kid I have, I can’t imagine having to keep track of twenty-four of the little monsters.  It’s a miracle this doesn’t happened more often.”
“I am so…so sorry.”  His apology tumbled out and he swiftly covered his mouth before it could become too effusive, too much for either of them to bear.
“She’s fearless when it comes to taking risks with her body. She’s not afraid of pain, and never has been,” Belinda said.  “And she would have wanted you to know that.  And she’s wily.  There’s no way she would have risked you stopping her from climbing that jungle gym, before she was good and ready for you to know. The truth is…I’m the one who raised her to be like that.  She sees all the bad things happening in the world, the things that superheroes stop and the things that they can’t…I just didn’t want her to live in fear, that’s all. I’ve always tried to teach her not to be afraid.”  She straightened the tuxedo jacket on Mr. Snuggles’ suit and shrugged.  “It’s a work in progress, I guess.”
“A really great work in progress,” he confirmed. “Who could use a little more confidence when it comes to math.”
“I’m sure with you teaching her she’ll figure it out.”
“Look, Belinda…this could take a while.  I’m going to head to down to the cafeteria and get a coffee.  Would you like one?”
“That would be great.  I’d go myself but—“
“You should stay right where you are.  I’ll take care it.  How do you take it?”
“Cream and two sugars,” she replied, hugging Mr. Snuggles tightly to her chest.
“Coming right up,” he promised.
“Thanks, Mike.”
He shook his head.  “It’s the least I can do.”
Mike strolled away from her, headed to the cafeteria on the first floor.  He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his cell phone and began typing a message to Erica.
‘Here with Amelia’s mom.  She’s in surgery now.  More later.’  He followed the message with several fingers-crossed emojis before hitting send and tucking the phone back into his pocket.
TBC
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childrenofhypnos · 7 years
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Chapter 3: Insanity Prime
Emery made it to the bottom of the first set of steps outside the administration building before she realized she was still wearing her dreamform armor and her Peacemakers. The armor was the only thing she was able to dreamform reliably, and that was because she’d spent years learning to make it. She thought of something relaxing—this time, the idea of Edgar snuggled four blankets deep in his dorm room, watching Gunsmoke—and her armor melted into its own purple cloud and sunk into the clothing beneath it, a sweat-stained shirt and training pants. She removed her guns from their holsters before the holsters disappeared. The Peacemakers themselves shrank to fit the silver charm bracelet around her left wrist, just below her cuff.
The Peacemakers had taken years to make, too, but all she’d had to do was let them take shape. Dreamforms were made from the fabric of the Dream, crafted by dreamhunters using the same connection that gave them their strength and agility. The Peacemakers could shrink or grow, become heavy or light. They, like some other carefully and painstakingly constructed dreamforms, were permanent. They would never return to the Dream until Emery died.
Her brother, Edgar, wasn’t far enough into his training to make his weapon. He lived in Booling Hall with the other kids in his class, mostly children of dreamhunters. Because the exposure to the Dream necessary to create dreamhunters had to start so young, the best source of new recruits was dreamhunter children. Each Ward had a different method for producing more children, to ensure they never ran out. It was one of the few points of dreamhunting Emery tried not to think about: in a few short years, the Hypnos State would match her with another dreamhunter and expect her to put hunting on hold to manufacture a baby or two. Those kids would be exposed to the Dream and dropped into Booling, too.
The good news was the North American Ward tried to match power with power, the way they’d done with her parents, which meant that at the very least she’d never be paired with Wes.
Emery made her way up to Booling’s fourth floor. Here, most of the rooms were silent, the little ones tucked in for the night and the denmothers patrolling the floors to make sure no one tried to sneak out. She passed Edgar’s denmother, a jolly older man who’d worked for the academy longer than Emery had been alive, and knocked on the door to room 413.
“Who is it?” came a small voice.
“The Boogeyman,” Emery replied.
The door swung open. A thin boy a foot shorter than Emery shot out of the room and barrelled into her stomach, latching onto her. Emery grunted and held the doorframe to keep herself upright.
“I’m all sweaty.”
“Don’t care.”
She barely heard him. Edgar was already quiet when his voice wasn’t muffled by her shirt. Past him, the room blazed with light, and commercials flickered on the small TV between the two loft beds. Another boy peered around the door from his perch on the right bed.
“Aw, man, you shouldn’t have come back until morning!” said the boy. “I was trying to see if worrying about you would keep him awake.”
“Shut up, Morris,” Emery said. “You’re a horrible roommate.”
Morris stuck out his tongue and turned back to the television.
“Gunsmoke?”
“We were watching Bonanza before this.”
Edgar let go of her and stepped back. They shared their mother’s most prominent features: curly black hair, straight noses, steely blue-gray eyes. Emery had also inherited many of the rest. Thin lips, thick eyebrows, shoulders and hips for days, the ability to tan. Edgar was a much more perfect blending of their parents—their father’s lankiness, thick lashes, and pale skin that went up in flames in the summer—he just hadn’t grown into most of it yet.
“Grandpa Al says you’ve been watching my mission logs.”
Edgar flushed. “No—not a lot—”
“Enough to know pretty soon after I left tonight, and to tell him about it.”
“I only told him because you went alone. You’re not supposed to go alone.”
“Well, I was fine.” Emery held up her arms. “See?”
“Why did you go alone?”
“I knew I could handle it.”
Edgar frowned. “It’s because you don’t like Wes.”
“Maybe. So?”
“Wes is really nice. I don’t know why you don’t like being his partner.”
“Being nice doesn’t make him good in a panic situation.” Before Edgar could give her his baleful, guilt-inducing stare, Emery continued. “But Grandpa Al said I have to do missions with him for a month, and if it doesn’t work out, I can switch partners.”
The frown softened. He took another step back into the room, pulling the sleeves of his too-long sweater over his bony hands.
“Did you start your all-nighters?” Emery motioned to the many lights on in the room.
Edgar nodded. “We have to stay awake at least until 4 am.”
“All night hype!” Morris barked.
Edgar did seem gaunt, but more than normal. He’d always been pallid and sunken-eyed, like he was staring at her from far away in his head. Now there was a brightness to his gaze that brought the shadows of his face into sharp relief.
“Okay, well,” Emery said, “don’t let Morris out of the room. He’ll tear up the campus. And we’re watching Tombstone tomorrow night, don’t forget.”
“Tombstone again?” Morris whined.
“You don’t have to join in, Morris!”
Edgar smiled.
“Call me if you have trouble staying awake.” Emery ruffled Edgar’s hair and pushed him back into the room.
As he shut the door, Morris began making shotgun noises.
~
Edgar’s face remained at the top of Emery’s mind on her walk back to her own dorm. She thought of Cora Miller, and nightmares eating childrens’ minds, and Edgar’s expression going blank and braindead.
Unlike Emery, Edgar had been born after their parents passed through their Insanity Primes, the period in their mid-twenties when most dreamhunters succumbed to mental instability. By Hypnos State law, married dreamhunters had to at least try to have children before their Primes to ensure another generation of hunters. If a hunter lived through their Insanity Prime, the altered state of their body usually no longer allowed for pregnancy. Conception of a post-Prime child was so rare, Emery’s parents had moved from Moscow to the Sleeping City so Edgar could be researched and kept healthy. Hypnos State scientists had held Edgar isolated and under surveillance in the Fenhallow labs for years while he grew up, and they still didn’t know how he’d turn out.
It wasn’t his fault he was weird.
Emery was angry again by the time she made it to the front steps of Kirkland Hall, her dorm. On a campus full of small gothic castles, Kirkland was a queen; its white towers speared the night sky, almost taller than the administration building, and its massive black doors were etched with the blooming poppy. Inside, dreamhunter students sprawled across the lobby with textbooks and tablets and basked in the smell of late-night pizza. Draped across the front of the currently unoccupied denmother’s desk was a banner that read FENHALLOWEEN!!! SIGN UP BEFORE THE 20th. COSTUMES MANDATORY!!!!! surrounded by a few lopsided decoration pumpkins and a hissing black cat cut out of construction paper.
The news ran across the lobby flatscreen. Emery knew what was on it before she saw the story of the night. Terribly lit cell phone footage shot from the end of Mercer Street showed a massive purple cloud in the sky over the Miller house, and the shadow of the whale, and then the bright violet lights popping off one after another from a rooftop. The bottom of the screen said Massive nightmare appears in southcentral Harrington.
“Queen Emery again,” said one of the three students watching from the lobby couch.
“What did you expect?” said another. “Her M.O. is upstaging people. And she went without Jager.”
“Seriously?” said the third.
“He’s been here the whole time. I saw him in the library two hours ago.”
“I mean, I’d leave him behind, too,” said the first.
“Yeah, but look at that thing.” The second gestured to the screen, where the whale was diving toward the rooftop. “How do you see that on a term request and think, ‘Oh yeah, I can totally handle that monstrosity by myself’?”
Emery dug her fingers into her thighs to keep from clenching them into fists. She strode past the back of the couch and said very loudly, “It wasn’t on the request.”
The three of them jumped. She kept walking, letting her hair swish behind her, hoping she looked properly aloof and mussed from battle.
Around the corner behind the denmother’s desk was the staircase to the second floor, and beneath that, a wall of mailboxes that winked copper and gold in the dim lighting of the old yellow fixtures. Emery jarred to a halt; Wes stood alone at his mailbox, staring at the address on a piece of junk mail.
“How long have you been waiting for me?” she snapped.
He looked around. A furrow had dug itself between his eyebrows. He said nothing.
“Look, my grandpa wants me to apologize for what I said earlier, so I’m sorry. Or whatever.”
The furrow deepened.
“Thanks,” he said. Wes’s voice was so bassy he would blow out speakers if anyone let him near a microphone. “I could have helped you earlier.”
“I handled it fine on my own,” Emery said.
“I need the mission credit.”
“Sure, sure, so you can piggyback on my success.”
“I didn’t say that—”
“We’re going to have some real issues if you are. I don’t give handouts.”
“I didn’t ask for any—”
“I’m not here to teach you how to do your job.”
“I know how to do my job—”
“And if you—”
Wes snapped. “Stop interrupting me!” His back went ramrod straight, a muscle jumped in his jaw, and his black eyes flashed. “I know you think you’re great at everything and I get in your way. Trust me, I’m not happy about it either.”
Emery smoothed back her hair, rocking onto her heels. “Then why not ask for a different partner?”
“Because when you get paired with the best student in class, you don’t ask for anything else.” Wes’s cheeks flushed. He slammed his mailbox shut and twisted the key out. “It would be way easier to admit you’re the best if you didn’t annoy the hell out of me, but you are, and I’d rather face the Insanity Prime with someone who knows what they’re doing than with someone like—like me.”
“Hm.”
“I don’t expect you to understand,” he said. “I’m sure you’ll get through your Prime without a problem, no matter who your partner is.”
Goosebumps prickled Emery’s arms. She opened her mouth to argue, realized how pinned she was by Wes’s unrelenting stare, shut her mouth again, and pushed away from the mailboxes to start up the stairs.
“Well, whatever,” she said. “We’re still partners for a month. Don’t embarass me in class.”
Emery hurried to her room on the second floor, only pausing once the door was safely closed and locked behind her. She pressed her forehead to the wood and breathed in the quiet darkness.
The Insanity Prime manifested differently in different dreamhunters. It almost always happened in someone’s mid-twenties, and it almost always ended in the complete erosion of the mind by that special connection to the Dream. Some hunters developed violent moodswings, some experienced a disconnect from reality, some completely forgot who and what they were. Some lucky souls dealt with all three. Medication and therapy helped at first, but the erosion was unstoppable, and it always—always—culminated in a vicious dreamform of the hunter’s subconscious itself, physically identical to them in every way, called a doppelgänger.
If a hunter destroyed their doppelgänger, their Insanity Prime was halted, their mind healed, and they were rewarded the rest of their lives as dreamkillers.
If they didn’t—and many did not—they were laid to rest by the Hypnos State.
The Ashworths were dreamkillers. Emery could not think of any of her relatives who had not survived their Insanity Primes. Grandpa Al was famous for his lack of symptoms, and by all accounts both of her parents had brushed their Primes aside like minor annoyances.
She was expected to do the same. It wasn’t even a question among her professors, who looked at the other dreamhunter students with a sad kind of hopefulness, but gave Emery only passing glances. It had never seemed to concern her parents or Grandpa Al, who had only ever worried about her future involvement in the State, and not whether she’d live to see thirty. And she wanted to march back downstairs and punch Wes and tell him that yes, of course she did understand, she knew exactly how frightening it was to think constantly about where and when you’d start to lose your mind.
She didn’t feel unstable now, but she was only eighteen. What if it snuck up on her one day when she wasn’t expecting it? What if, despite her training, she wasn’t strong enough to defeat it? Would her professors ignore her when she called for help? She was an Ashworth, after all. She was bred to handle anything.
Maybe she wouldn’t even be an Ashworth. Part of her couldn’t imagine either of her parents disowning her, but another part thought of her father’s laid-back cheer turning to indifference, and her mother’s thunderous enthusiasm folding into anger. It wasn’t completely out of character for them. She’d seen it happen before, though not to her.
At least they were across the ocean right now, and couldn’t see her like this. She wiped the tears from her cheeks, scoffed in disgust, and began peeling off her sweaty clothes. Her classmates called her Queen for a reason.
She had a reputation to keep.
(Next time on The Children of Hypnos --> Em & Wes Get Their First Mission. It’s Totally Gonna Go Fine.)
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gildedalchemist · 5 years
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1 - 100
Well then! I actually have some downtime so im doing this. Post was from a while ago but i saved it for when I have time. I’m not gonna answer a number of these fully bc thats TOO much sharing, but I’ll answer as many as i can.
1. What is you middle name?not answering this one
2. How old are you?24
3. When is your birthday?August 25th
4. What is your zodiac sign?Virgo
5. What is your favorite color?Royal Purple, though I like many shades of lighter purples nowadays
6. What’s your lucky number?Yup, 2. If not 2, then 8.
7. Do you have any pets?I have a family dog at home, hes a labradoodle named Sebastian
8. Where are you from?Southern California
9. How tall are you?I like to think I’m 6 feet tall, but im just short of that I think
10. What shoe size are you?11 US Mens, which i think is 14 in womens? I forget the conversion, and it’s damn near impossible to find anything in my size in that department.
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?enough that I’ve lost count
12. What was your last dream about?hanging out with @the-senor-sperm​, Xavier
13. What talents do you have?I don’t believe in talent. Nobody starts good at anything, it’s all skills that must be trained and maintained.
14. Are you psychic in any way?I have very good gut reactions when I first meet people, generally. It has almost never steered me wrong, especially when it comes to my personal safety. If someone is not to be trusted, I generally know pretty quickly.
15. Favorite song?I’m not sure right now, I’ve been introduced to a lot of new music in the last year and I have a hard time choosing.
16. Favorite movie?Clue!
17. Who would be your ideal partner?Someone who challenges me to be the person I want to be. Someone I can trust with my thoughts and feelings. Someone I can spend my time with and be okay when all else is crumbling. Someone I love. Someone who would sit up with me while I’m deliriously I’ll, and make sure I’m drinking water, and eating, particularly microwave cup ramen. ;P
18. Do you want children?I dunno. I used to. I used to feel like I wanted to prove I could be a better parent, but I don’t feel that need, nor do I want that to be my reason anymore. I just want to live and be happy with my partner. Whatever happens after that, will be decided when the time comes.
19. Do you want a church wedding?Oof. I dunno. The thought is nice but I don’t know if the church would be cool with the wedding I’d wanna have ówò;;;  
20. Are you religious?Not really at the moment. I want to believe in something, but that something has no form for me right now.
21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Yes, I’ve even had surgery! (on my sinuses, im fine now!)
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?Not really
23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Nope, unless you count internet celebrities, which I dont really. I met Arin Hanson before I knew who he even was.
24. Baths or showers?Showers
25. What color socks are you wearing?white
26. Have you ever been famous?lmao nope
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?No, i don’t like that kind of pressure
28. What type of music do you like?little bit of everything, though i do quite like electronic stuff
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?nope, but if i ever have my own pool and could do so without peeking neighbors, i’d consider it.
30. How many pillows do you sleep with?2 usually, but i only have 1 right now because reasons
31. What position do you usually sleep in?either on my side if the bed is real soft, or on my stomach.
32. How big is your house?its pretty decently sized, but I’m living in a dorm right now and not at my parents house
33. What do you typically have for breakfast?nothing
34. Have you ever fired a gun?Yes. I wasnt a fan. I didnt like how easy it is to just point and kill, and i especially hate that people think having that power is a right that should be protected like it is.
35. Have you ever tried archery?yes i have. I enjoyed it from a skill aspect
36. Favorite clean word?spaghetti. its real fun to say
37. Favorite swear word?i like saying chucklefuck
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?about 40 hours. I’ve never done 2 consecutive all nighters. at that point, i start to pass out when i blink.
39. Do you have any scars?Yes, I have one on my shoulder and lower back from the same injury, one on my knee and shin from unrelated incidents, and scars on my hands, face, and shoulders from injuries and acne over the years
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?If I did, they kept it a pretty good secret. Or not. I am quite oblivious in that regard. Its hard when you just assumed for years that youre unloveable.
41. Are you a good liar?I used to be but not much anymore
42. Are you a good judge of character?Almost always
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?Nope, it is embarassing for me to even try
44. Do you have a strong accent?people say they dont notice an accent from me until i say certain words, like dude, or awesome.
45. What is your favorite accent?New Zealand accents are a hoot
46. What is your personality type?Timid, but caring
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?honestly not sure. most of my stuff isnt that expensive. by original cost probably a cashmere sweater, but I bought it at a thrift shop. 
48. Can you curl your tongue?yes
49. Are you an innie or an outie?innie
50. Left or right handed?right
51. Are you scared of spiders?somewhat, but I dont react as badly as I used to at the sight of them. only if they touch me.
52. Favorite food?spaghetti? pizza? Xaviers cooking? hard to say
53. Favorite foreign food?sushi!
54. Are you a clean or messy person?clean in many ways, except for my room
55. Most used phrased?“aww, gay.”
56. Most used word?at this point, probably “fuck”
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?if im in a hurry, minutes, if im not, hours.
58. Do you have much of an ego?I can, but i’m working on it. I dont think I do though.
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?Bite
60. Do you talk to yourself?Usually, mostly to walk myself through things
61. Do you sing to yourself?Rarely
62. Are you a good singer?I think i’m better than i used to be, but im not great
63. Biggest Fear?Losing my best friends. I lost one in a very bad way, I cant stand the thought of losing more.
64. Are you a gossip?Once i got to university I became one, but I didnt used to be. Thats just kinda the environment I’m in. I feel like if i didnt people wouldnt trust me as much or even at all.
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?i dunno, im not sure what constitutes “dramatic”
66. Do you like long or short hair?on me, Long. I cant stand how ive looked with short hair anymore. On other people I have no preference.
67. Can you name all 50 states of America?Fuck no lmao
68. Favorite school subject?Chemistry, after that Psych or English
69. Extrovert or Introvert?Extrovert with anxiety that makes me present like an introvert, i think is what ive settled on
70. Have you ever been scuba diving?nope
71. What makes you nervous?So many things oh my god
72. Are you scared of the dark?Yes
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?I do for some people but it is seen as inappropriate to others, and in some cases makes people think im trying to be superior, so I try not to anymore unless asked. Its not my place, unless they want to be corrected.
74. Are you ticklish?Don’t fuckin touch me. I am but I’ll bite.
75. Have you ever started a rumor?No. I had too many false rumors started about me, I wouldnt do that to someone else unless it was true and people needed to know the truth.
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?Sort of? I’ve been in classrooms and worked with kids, so i’ve been in situations where they answer to me, but I’ve never really been the main figure head so I’d say no overall.
77. Have you ever drank underage?yes
78. Have you ever done drugs?yes
79. Who was your first real crush?Honestly? I dont even know anymore. I know I had some, but what counts as “real”? I’d guess the one that lead to my first relationship. that was in 2011.
80. How many piercings do you have?none
81. Can you roll your Rs?“nope
82. How fast can you type?pretty fast
83. How fast can you run?I can run pretty fast but only for short bursts now.
84. What color is your hair?brown
85. What color is your eyes?blue-green
86. What are you allergic to?a variety of weeds, trees, grasses, molds, and dust mites
87. Do you keep a journal?not physically. what i post online and in recordable formats count as my journal, so i may look back on what ive said.
88. What do your parents do?my mom is a housewife, my dad works in law
89. Do you like your age?y...yes?? what does this even mean?
90. What makes you angry?injustice and unfairness
91. Do you like your own name?Not my full name, I like my first name’s shortening, so thats why i go by Matt
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?Only John. To honor his memory, and all that he did for me. He set me on the path to become who I am.
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?I want my kid to decide that for themself, if I ever have one.
94. What are you strengths?Tenacity
95. What are your weaknesses?Cowardice
96. How did you get your name?My dad named me after his best friend first, then his karate instructor for middle
97. Were your ancestors royalty?not to my knowledge
98. Do you have any scars?wasnt this #39?
99. Color of your bedspread?light blue
100. Color of your room?the one at home is sort of yellowish i think. the room i’m in right now is white.
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