#oh my girls my murder wives <3
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SOUND PILLAR'S TSUGOKU
Add-on to my previous what-if of Tengen Uzui adopting Gyutaro and Ume Shabana - read the first part here.
I imagine that Gyutaro wouldn’t directly tell Tengen about his crazy skills with the sickle, (despite his denial) mostly because he’s worried that they’ll be more wary of him or think bad of him or take it the wrong way or think he’ll murder them all in their sleep or hurt them like he did to the - never mind, that’s just his intrusive, depressive thoughts.
So there would probably be only three scenarios in which the Uzui household will find out about his sickle skills if 1. He does some gardening/farming 2. Ume boasts about how her brother protected her back in the Red Light District 3. Gyutaro accidentally makes an offhand remark about it. But we’ll get back to that later.
By now Gyutaro and Ume would’ve known about their adoptive family’s job, alternating between staying at home with the Uzui wives or overnighting at the Butterfly Mansion if all their parents are away. You can’t convince me that Ume doesn’t like to flex about her dad being the most flamboyant Hashira of all flamboyant Hashira.
“Ha! My daddy never gets sick! He’ll never die and never lose! My flamboyant, powerful daddy…can do anything he wants!”
To this day Gyutaro is still very protective over Ume, as he’s still harboring the deep rooted fear that one day this heaven would vanish in a puff of smoke, so once he’s heard about man-eating demons you bet your life’s savings he’s paranoid as hell about Ume at night now.
What if one day a demon broke into their Estate and slaughtered everyone? What if Ume got turned into a demon? What if he got turned into a demon? What if a demon killed Tengen? What if, what if, what if-
And then he has to remind himself Tengen is a Hashira and the Uzui wives were trained as shinobi, nothing could possibly befall them, as Ume liked to brag!
Okay, but what if they weren’t around and Ume and him were left to fend for themselves?
It’s alright! He’s pretty sick with a sickle, he’ll make a demon sorry it even cast eyes on his baby sister-
Oh wait, didn’t Tengen say that demons could only be killed with Nichirin swords?
And so this loop of doubt and reassurances would go round and round and round until Gyutaro ultimately decides that to be doubly, triply, quadruple-y sure nothing demonic will ever befall his sister, he's going to become a slayer.
Gyutaro would one day get bored of watching Hinatsuru, Makio and Suma play dolls with Ume for the hundredth time (there’s only so many times he can take listening to Ume’s princess dreams, no matter how much he loves her) and wander away to find Tengen training some poor slayers he’s berating for “swinging your swords and using your breathing techniques in the most un-flamboyant way possible”. He didn't even realize how his thoughts were going to spiral until he accidentally interrupts with a blurted “Teach me how to become a slayer.”
Tengen would definitely be surprised but pleased, banging on and on about the flamboyance they would share as “the flashiest father and son duo to ever slay demons!” To the point Gyutaro almost reconsiders. Almost.
Breaking the news over dinner (Tengen CANNOT keep his mouth shut, much to Gyutaro’s embarrassment), stunned silence would reign supreme until the girls explode in excitement and anxiety.
“WAAAAAAH, MY BABY'S GROWING UP!” -Suma
“Har? GOOD JOB, GYU-KUN!” -Makio
“Are you sure? It's not a life we'd want to expose you to-” -Hinatsuru
But the biggest surprise came from the loudest voice:
“THEN I WANNA BE LIKE ONII-CHAN!!!”
Bad enough that one of their kids was going to put themselves on the line, so the Uzui wives and Gyutaro did their best to discourage Ume, but stubbornness and cuteness will get you where you want, much to the others reluctance. Tengen, unhelpful as he is in child discipline and the fine line between proud-that-my-kids-are-gonna-slay-demons and my-kids-are-gonna-slay-demons-I’m-worried, simply burst out into booming laughter, scooping up Ume and playfully tugging at Gyutaro’s topknot.
And so this was how Tengen landed himself with not one, but two Tsugoku.
To stick with the actual storyline as much as possible, Gyutaro and Ume probably wouldn't take over Sound Breathing, despite their (extremely intense) training in it, probably going off to invent their own techniques.
I'd like to think Shinobu would take a liking to Gyutaro because of how overprotective he is of Ume, and Gyutaro vice versa (low-key, she scared him with the smiling when they first met) so she would've influenced his breathing technique when he created it: Poison Breathing.
Let's not forget how much Mitsuri would love Ume! Ume would be so obsessed with her hair and both would eat mochi galore gossiping and squealing over boys (Gyutaro forced to clean up her mess after she went to go wheedle Obanai). Mitsuri would definitely find them both very cute and cry at their horrible history; pinching their cheeks would become her new pastime (Obanai’s jealous but we don't talk about that) - and would be over the moon to find out Ume has declared her her idol and invented Ribbon Breathing, inspired by Love Breathing!
However, I don’t think and if you’ve already guessed that Gyutaro and Ume aren’t going to use the typical Nichiron blades: Tengen requesting (bothering) the swordsmiths to commission the most flamboyant pair of sickles and whip-like sword (reference to Mitsuri’s, but more whip-like to suit Ribbon Breathing) to ever be commissioned. The Uzui household had never been prouder the first time the siblings displayed their skill and beheaded their first demon.
Gyutaro’s canon design includes baggy pants and those collar-looking red cloth, so in this theory they would be replaced with the same type of gemstone-headband and gold band Tengen wears, with a similar sleeveless uniform and equally baggy pants. I think Gyutaro, weirdly, would go slaying barefoot because no matter how civilized he is now he never did get used to the feeling of shoes. He probably slings his sickles at his back too, Tengen-style.
Say Ume’s former uniform was made by Masao, and all hell broke loose when Gyutaro and Tengen found out. Masao’s new glasses were proof enough of that. The Uzui wives demanded a remake, and when they didn’t get one (Masao going on strike) they tailored her uniform themselves to cover up and added the obi belt Warabihime is so famous for. Let’s not forget Ume flaunting her red eyeliner her daddy drew on!
Tengen begins to insist and receive missions if possible where all three of them can go together (“We’ll out-flash any dull, un-flamboyant demon together!”), so obviously when he decides to go hunt for his wives (Let’s all take a moment to imagine the tantrum Ume would throw when she finds out her moms are putting themselves in danger and Gyutaro freaking out silently but obsessively scratching at himself once again) at the Red Light District, despite his misgivings and qualms about taking the siblings back to their personal hell, they all wound up going together anyway because Ume can scream pretty shrilly and Gyutaro threatened to steal Tengen’s jewelry.
So remember that scene where Tanjiro arrives to see Tengen “kidnapping” the Butterfly Girl and Aoi?
Re-imagine it now, but have Gyutaro holding up the Butterfly Girl by her collar and Ume riding Tengen’s shoulders as he tosses Aoi over the other one.
***
“OH MY GOD, JUST SHUT UP!” Ume glared at Aoi contemptuously, tossing her head slightly. “Aren’t you a slayer? You should be proud you’ve been chosen for such a mission! You guys are so miserable; you mustn't have tried very hard if this is all you’ve got! How unfortunate!”
“Please stop it!”
“Let them go!”
Tengen sighs heavily at the cries of the other Butterfly Girls, turning around to walk away. Noticing this, Gyutaro immediately shakes Aoi violently, threatening to drop her off the perch he had on top of the wall. “OI! STOP SCREAMING, OR WE’LL SEE WHAT SHE’LL LOOK LIKE SPLAT ON THE GROUND!”
“No need for violence, kid.” Tengen patted Gyutaro’s head with a “stern” expression. “Let’s go! Your mothers are a-waiting!”
Ume clapped her hands gleefully; Gyutaro leaped off and trailed along beside the Sound Pillar, only to stop short when someone was very irritatingly tugging on his uniform. He whipped his head around with a snarl. Kira? Kanae? Whatever her name was, she was seriously pissing him off, trying to rebel against Tengen’s orders!
“HEY! LET GO! DON’T PULL AT US SO PLAINLY LIKE THAT!” Ume snapped viciously.
“You have your orders.” Tengen scowled at Kocho’s tsugoku.
A beat of silence, then another, and another.
“DADDY, SHE’S CREEPY!”
“NEH, JUST SAY SOMETHING!”
“DON’T FREAK MY KIDS OUT, YOU PLAIN BORING PERSON!”
Gyutaro nearly brought out his sickles right there right now when the Butterfly Girls pathetically charged at him and Tengen.
“WHAT’RE YOU DOING TO THE GIRLS?! GET YOUR HANDS OFF THEM!”
Great, what now? Oh right, it was that annoying forehead kid.
“Save them!!! It’s a kidnapping!!!”
“SHUT UP! IT SHOULD BE AN HONOR FOR ALL YOU USELESS SCUM TO BE CHOSEN FOR A MISSION AND TO SLAY ALONGSIDE A HASHIRA! ONII-CHAN, GET HER TO SHUT UP!”
Gyutaro grunted, glowering at Kamado. Tengen came to his rescue, pressing a quick kiss to Ume’s forehead before yelling again. “YOU DUMB LITTLE BRAT!”
Okay, but he honestly didn’t expect Tengen to get headbutted or find himself hoisted and thrown up in the air.
“Good dodge,” he muttered, landing just in time next to the Sound Pillar. Aoi fidgeted and struggled, trying to get out of his grasp. “STOP MOVING, OR I’LL REALLY DROP YOU, WOMAN!”
“YOU FOOL!” Ume spat. “Do you even know who you’re dealing with?!”
“...”
“Idiots,” she huffed.
“I am the “former shinobi” Uzui Tengen-sama. The man who is known as the most flamboyant around these parts. And these are my very flashy children and future successors!”
Tengen loomed menacingly over them as Ume giggled with a gleam in her blue eyes and Gyutaro cackled.
“Did you think that I would get headbutted by a snot-filled brat like you? You’ve picked the wrong family to mess with.”
***
For the sake of this storyline we’re just going to say Nakime is Upper Moon Six, Gyokko the one who killed Kanae (totally not because I want to see Shinobu roast the shit out of his pots and vases) and only Hantengu who attacked the Swordsmith Village to make everything work, and have Douma be lurking around the Entertainment District as a “customer” whose appearance is way too coincidental with the sudden increase in suicide and deaths.
Ume would probably pose as a serving girl due to her young age, and is excellent at playing cute, innocent and unsuspecting, probably getting the closest to Douma due to this. She would only be around to keep an eye on the Kamaboko Squad for Tengen though, being the only true girl there. Please imagine with me her boasting to Tanjiro about her “best big brother in the whole world”, enthusiastically styling Nezuko’s hair, screaming at Zenitsu to back off (Tengen picks on him because of this, Gyutaro reminds Zenitsu about his sickle skills way too sadistically) and arguing with Inosuke for being too rough in disguise. Underneath her loudmouthed exterior though, it’s obvious to everyone that she’s genuinely afraid of what happened to her mothers.
Gyutaro knows he won’t be able to fit in with the others, so he mostly patrols around with Tengen or ensures nobody inappropriately touches Ume. Surely Tengen wouldn’t mind if a pervert or two goes missing - oh, fine, he could almost hear Hinatsuru, Makio and Suma scolding him. He can still chop off a finger or two, right? No? Intense diarrhea from poisoning then?
***
The odds of it were so impossible, but yet it was true. Everyone was alive. ALIVE. Ume, Tengen, Hinatsuru, Makio, Suma…everyone.
Gyutaro wiped his face of blood, sweat and tears, succumbing to Makio’s frantic shaking down and questioning of his state, letting himself lean against Tengen while his sister babbled nonsensically and made him promise about a hundred times that he wouldn’t die without her.
So happy. Everyone was alive, they were going to be okay, everything was going to work out, they could live out that dream in the countryside they were always talking about-
“Should I praise you or something? What were you thinking, losing your left arm and eye? Even if this was a fight against an Upper Moon. How long will it take for you to recover? Who will take your place while you’re doing that? Your…kids are good, but not that good.”
“HEY! YOU DON’T TALK TO DADDY LIKE THAT!” Ume still had it in her to argue with one snarky Serpent Pillar apparently, dragging herself up to a sitting position to stare judgmentally at him, snapped sword in hand. “YOU WEREN’T THE ONE FIGHTING UPPER MOON TWO!”
“Neh, sis, don’t move so fast.” Gyutaro groaned, prying himself from Suma’s smothering grip and Hinatsuru’s frantic examination of any injuries. “You’ll hurt yourself more.”
Still, he shot Obanai his best death stare too. Tengen barked a laugh and slung an arm around his skinny shoulders. “It’s alright. I’m retiring, man. I just can’t fight anymore. Oyakata-sama will probably allow me to do so as well.”
“But it’s alright.” Tengen gestured at the siblings proudly. “The young ones are growing up. Gyutaro and Ume will take my place with flamboyance! The Poison Hashira and Ribbon Hashira will be coming soon.”
“Especially the boy you absolutely despise, though, Iguro.” Tengen winked. “ Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re having a family reunion.”
As if on cue Suma and Ume burst into tears once more and Tengen did his best to join in on the group hug with his remaining arm.
Gyutaro had never considered his life lucky before, but now he’d call it fortunate. It was one hell of a miracle…but everyone was alive.
#kny#demon slayer#entertainment district arc#tengen uzui#hinatsuru uzui#suma uzui#makio uzui#kny hashira#alternate timeline#gyutaro shabana#gyutaro#gyuutarou#daki#kny daki#ume shabana#shinobu kocho#mitsuri kanroji#sanzuyaps
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pls more abt viserys Omaegorverse I'm so fascinated it's insane and i honestly think grrm would b proud
im so happy u love it and this means so much but i do NOT think he would be proud 😭 he would read my posts (gun to his head ofc he wouldnt just. do that.) and sit in silence for a few minutes and then he would say. Maegor isnt gay what are you talking about. and i go well thats not really the point and anyway sexuality is kinda fluid and its more about opportunity and power than about sexual attraction although i will concede- and then he sends elio and linda with spears to hunt me down.
he's canonically a nothing character with personality of 'Beloved Of The Commons' n nothing else so i can kinda do whatever tf i want with him which is fun. he's also mostly there to be a sad wet cat that gets kicked by everyone and everyone he loves dies or is weird about him in some way. he's my special little sad uke twink i brutalise for my personal entertainment <3 im so maegorcoded so tyannacoded... anyway more about my babyboy viserys below<3 warning its SOOO long like fifteen fucking paragraphs Jesus christ
trigger warnings for like everything. incest death depression mental instability murder psychosis uhhh. torture and suicide. just all of it do NOT read unless youre like super certain you wanna read about my deviantart OCs because guys it is NOT worth it
childhood pre-Torture Labyrinth. he's born in 29 AC and was 8-ish when he was at the deathbed of Aegon1. aegon the uncrowned is three years older than him, and rhaena is six years older. jaehaerys is 5 years younger, alysanne is 7 years younger vaella who i kept alive is 10 years younger. just to give an idea of ages and general canon info :>
his only personality trait is Promising and Beloved of the commons. i think him and aegon were friends :) younger brother so he followed after him a lot. slightly scared of rhaena the big cool older sister who has a pet dragon. think his granddad is soooo cool doesnt really think about The Implications of conquest or anything. normal boy normal childhood (as normal as possible when ur siblings are married...) also he is gay because it adds to the horrors later on 🥰
something i think is Inchresting is the rhaena, aegon and viserys are named for rhaenys, aegon and visenya :3 i think viserys is like hercules right where he was named in an attempt to appease The Wife. aenys was like hiiiii auntie/stepmum visenya look i named a kid after you you dont wanna kill me right?right? and she looks at this kid who didnt claim a dragon isnt a girl isnt maegor and goes oh so youre insulting me huh.
i think rhaena aegon viserys had a slightly weird dynamic. rhaena the lesbian getting forcibly betrothed to her younger brother by her father is gonna make things weird, also aegon was 15 and rhaena 18 which adds just the best most awesome sauce to the mix. i think viserys had very complicated feelings on that especially if he is gay cos like... rhaena obviously does not love her brother romantically right. so u are a boy and ur sister is a lesbian but you dont have that word. and you are gay and your brother is cool and the crown prince and everyone is screwing their siblings and that makes your brain chemistry weird. and now your brother is marrying your gay sister. What about you. the dragon has three heads??? idk he's like 12 at this point he just goes back to playing hide and seek with jae+aly.
Uh oh daddy's dead. daddy's dead and uncle maegor is king now with his three wives. Uh oh. oh awesome he's kidnapped you and you're his squire now that's so cool. well its mostly a power play and hes not actually making u do anything as long as you stay locked in the red keep all day he leaves you alone. also maegor's insane girlfriend stares at you like you're a baby lamb that would make a delicious lamb tostada. but hey your big brother aegon has a dragon now and him and rhaena are gonna save you soon. Uh oh aegon's dead. aegon's dead and maegor is king for real for real.
everyone steers clear of you in the keep. you used to play with your siblings and the commoners and you used to play on dragonstone and kings landing and now no one wants to touch you. no one is calling you maegor's squire now, the pretence is gone. you are maegor's hostage. you fantasise about a different outcome, where maegor took you to the battle as his squire, and that you being there might have changed what happened. maybe you could have warned aegon. but you know nothing would have changed. youre not a dragonrider. you're worthless you're powerless. youre 14 years old :)
alys harroway is dead. maegor killed his wife. you knew alys, you saw her around the keep. she seemed very nice. she was very quiet and stayed in her rooms. she was always pregnant. you wonder why she married maegor, why she and tyanna are so strange with each other. you hear rumours. you wish you had talked to her. but she's dead now. maegor killed her. maegor tortured her. she's a whore now. you look out the window and see her rotting leg on a stake outside, her torso on another. you wish you had talked to her.
visenya targaryen the looming shadow over your life, the woman you're named after who looked at you with nothing but scorn, is dead. your mother is gone and she took jae and aly. what about you? what about you? is she not your mother too? are you not her little boy anymore? you are 15 years old. maegor killed alys' family when he was angry with her. is he going to kill you now?
ok second person pov over the gimmick is getting lame. anyway this is where the AU deviates: instead of viserys dying of torture, maegor is like hey maybe my nephew will be more fertile than my BITCH wives. and visenya the blood witch before her death compiled a bunch of old valyrian a/b/o fanfiction and said son if you ever find yourself with infertile wives. Consult These Texts. then tyanna and maegor made viserys mpreggable i dont care about how or like. what his body looks like. im not into the fetish of omegaverse LMAO i dont want to think about the fertilisation or birthing process or what organs he has thats unnecessary. only thing thats important is viserys can incubate babies and they are birthed via c-section :3
quick lore dump: vis is forced to maegor -> rhaena crashes the wedding but vis is so broken at this point he just doesnt want anyone else to die and has resigned himself to maegor so rhaena reluctantly surrenders -> alyssa jae and aly DO go to the red keep after they find out about the wedding and jae dies fighting maegor which makes viserys fully break -> alyssa now has husband dead 2 kids dead her son is queen and she also loses her fight :( lives on dragonstone with alive vaella -> alysanne is given to the faith -> rhaena agrees to a truce and she is hand of the king now and viserys' main protector -> vis gets pregnant and the kid is basically a reincarnation of jaehaerys -> tyanna loses her shit and tries to murder/sterilise/whatever viserys so maegor kills her cos he's finally got his babymaker -> vis has a daughter who's the reincarnation of tyanna -> faith uprising, shut down -> vis has his second daughter final child daenys who's birth is heralded by the martyrdom of poxy jeyne poor in the quashed faith uprising
vis is in the torture labyrinth for a couple decades. life sucks husband sucks everyone is weird about him. very death in venice people are weird about the boy type deal. has to wade through gender and sexuality politics of westeros which means several men going utterly insane about him including a couple kingsguard knights (celibate hypermasculine freaks bound to be insane sexually). one point early-ish on he DOES start believing this one kingsguard knight will save him from The Hells The Horrors but maegor finds out and kills that guy adn sexually humiliates viserys in front of the kingsguard and makes their son watch. So that fucks up vis' psyche for a while :3
rhaena and alysanne try to convince him to rebel and run away that they will use their dragons and fight. but maegor has made vis so paranoid and crazy he thinks maegor knows everything knows all his thoughts so he's terrified of plotting escape cos he thinks maegor will kill everyone. plus maegor made sure to force kids onto him early so that vis wouldnt be able to leave :3 world's most evil babytrap of all time.
vis doesnt interact with anyone except rhaena aly maegor his kids and the kingsguard so yeah its bad for him. ceryse hangs around for a while but shes like yeah i dont want any part of this shit dude being queen is NAWT worth it and she goes back to the hightower to plot marrying her niece off to maegor's son.
also there's a curse on the kingsguard all of them die really horribly and early. its a fun little thing for me personally because in f&b maegor's kinsguard is cartoonishly bad and jae's is cartoonishly perfect so i though Hey what if we did a little curse on the kingsguard ey. that would be fun. the only guy who stays long is a bracken because brackenfail cancels out knightfail. he's all godly and pissy about the gay marriage thing but he's also a monarchist so even though he think maegor is satan he's like well. he is my king i must serve him i obey my vows. he thinks viserys is a freak of nature but slowly grows to respect him and helps kill maegor + takes the fall for it. they have a weird father figure/white knight/weird tension thing that never gets consummated yay ^_^ the maegor torture labyrinth will have you 21 years old and best friends with a 50 year old celibate knight like dang where tf ser bracken at today 🥹
viserys snaps in 66AC with no like big catalyst or anything. he just has a good day where he's mostly lucid and he's angry and he's tired of everything and he's sick of maegor and he wants freedom he wants to be free. he wants to breath the air without panicking that maegor is going to hurt him. and maegor says some disgusting comment to him while theyre alone in the throne room and vis just snaps and start fighting him. daenys shows up cos she had her own Visions and Voices and they just start whaling on him. bracken knight helps too he takes most of maegor's counter attacks his organs are all over the floor but maegor dies impaled on the throne YAY
vis is like. A bit better for a while. his son is now king and vis is seeing that oh it doesnt get better does it people will still die. also his son jae has this weird oedipus complex about him thanks to maegor's insane parenting and viserys is fully aware of that so its not fun times for him. jae and daenys try to make him better try to invent therapy but its the middle ages they dont have that yet. they finally send him off to harrenhal (BAD IDEA) because they think viserra (the elder daughter btw, the tyanna one) might be able to cure him with her weird witchcraft. they think she's insane too but its the last option... viserra thinks vis is lame and weak but she does love him in ehr own way or maybe just pities him. anyway she does her best and it works for a while but viserys sorta gives up cos the depression is too much. and viserra believes in euthanasia as a mercy and thinks this is best for him this will let him be at peace. daenys has a premonition about it and tries to stop him. she has a big blowout fight with jae about it too and curses his bloodline and prophesises the long night. burned the red keep a little bit, you know how it is.
blah blah blah anyway daenys and vis end up dying in the gods eye together in a murder/suicide suicide/suicide murder/murder whatever. viserra has the lake dragged and they're found holding each other like a mother and her fetus :3
Fucks sake this post is long. holy shit holy fuck. my fucking bad guys my bad im so sorry. Holy shit. anyway thats my deviant art oc tee hee ^_^
#ive never read a little life but i suspect i have somewhat cribbed it. my bad guys brutalising a fictional gayboy is just so fun#au:omaegorverse#you guys have GOT to blacklist that tag if u dont wanna lose any respect you have for me. it is So embarrassing im sorry to be lke this 😭#ask#anonymous#oc:viserystargaryen
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i dont think ive seen any of ur pcs other than afhiri (who i adore) basically i am here to say if u want share pics and some facts abt ur other pcs!! :D
this is rue she is my durge and her playthrough got murdered by durge related bugs that i didnt wanna deal with and would rather wait for them to fix the cutscenes <3 also known as rue the impaler shes a wild magic sorcerer who got fed up of being one shot and became a tank with a barbarian multiclass <3 afhiri is a resist durge who i can explain best as those uncomfortable and uneasy to be around strange emo girls who stare into ur soul with lifeless eyes. shes pretty... but shes weird
my oc dru kind of got cannibalised by rue but still exists.. cuz dru's intended path literally doesn't work because i made her before i finished the game and the ending doesn't allow her to exist and it would have to be rewritten by me so much that i just don't have the energy so dru just lives in my lil au "what i wish the ending allowed" space in my brain <3 i'm not gonna share a picture because this also allows me to have her exist outside of the games limitations so no picture <3 she's so much cooler than the cc allows <3 dru is a high elf who is delusional and thinks shes actually a fey eladrin and is very uncomfortable to be around because shes just insane. completely isolated from society and the world and would have the hermit background if they didnt remove it .. larian literally didnt want her to exist.
unfortunately due to my pc death i no longer have asuras cc stuff so she will need to be remade but... this is asura shes literally terrible. shes my unfortunately extremely power hungry character who will accept every single option to make her stronger. she fucks mindflayers. and minthara. and she and minthara will rule the entire world together as tyrant wives and maybe they ascend. true love stuff. asura won't live until i'm confident minthara isn't a broken fucking mess . i think playing asura will make me worse. shes like how people play bhaalist durges who love their daddy but shes not the durge. shes just a bad person
THIS IS TAV. yeah his name is tav. they're just a tav man idk. this is my first character from full release tav is an ancients paladin whose entire vibe is "you don't quite suite your oath" and that's fun. they are the most lawful good boring ass motherfucker you ever met and literally my favourite type of character. he's all about Justice and Order and Goodness and Sacrificing Your Happiness For The Greater Good. that kind of annoying paladin! <3 tav never got to finish the game because my pc died and killed them. oh and tav has a twin who dedicated their life to annoying tav because .. like. lawful good paladin? DESERVES to be annoyed
which is really funny because the twin is my EA character! also tav! see the thing is. paladin tav is actually tav. but this monster? tav isn't their name. but they go by tav. just so they can hopefully fuck with their twins reputation. doing terrible things in their lawful good twins name!!! i still can't decide if i want twin tav to work with the guide and kiss nine-fingers keenne or work with the zhentharim and kiss rugan. or maybe they're a double agent and kiss both. idk!!! twin tav has literally no moral compass and just does shit for money mostly. and to make their twins life hell <3
and lastly i have this dude who doesn't have a place on my oc page because he doesn't have a name or nothing like. he's completely blank beyond i KNOW he's something to do with afhiri. so fun fact afhiri's lore was leading towards this dude being some sort of outer planes entity, either a god (dead star) or the herald of such, and baited afhiri through a portal as part of her destiny. this is how she gains her wild magic. BUT this was scrapped for what ended up happening (afhiri befriends a chwinga. cuteness ensues). HE STILL EXISTS IN AFHIRIS LORE SOMEWHERE - HE IS LITERALLY A COMPANION IN HER PARTY - when my pc stops crashing every time i play bg3 he's going to be on my blog a lot because im gonna use fancy editing to make him a companion and shove him in cutscenes. afhiri and he will kiss btw. i definitely don't want him to be actually a tiefling though this is just a form he uses to walk faerun and not to cause any ruckus... and to make afhiri feel ease around him <3 ALSO HES NOT ACTUALLY AFHIRIS GUARDIAN... u will see who is when my pc stops dying <3
#fray.txt#ask#imoge#i might put this in oc tags later i need to think on it but#i hope this is good#its also long#sorry#SLKJFSDFS#I HOPE I DIDNT MISS ANYTHING#I DO HAVE SOME VERY VERY WIP CHARACTERS I DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE SHARING YET BUT#hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii#thANK U FOR ASKING
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a consecutive list of shit that’s happened in my sims 4 ineffable wives save, in order. oh boy
sim day one, they’re roomies who don’t know eachother i meant it when i said slowburn (thanks to lumpinou’s lgbtq+ mod they’re both demisexual and demiromantic)
sim day two, they’re besties! try taking a guess if i used cheats or participated in the grind. (i love you mc command center mod)
still sim day two for these two, they’re flirting!
uh oh mission get the lesbians together paused, because antonia j crowley GOT FUCKED OVER BY THE LIFES TRAGEDIES MOD AND WAS ACTIVELY FUCKING DYING FROM A TERMINAL ILLNESS. like the dramatic bitch she is, attempted to promptly die in aziraphales arms but my game glitched.
two failed surgeries and a severe anxiety diagnosis later, i cheat take away the fatal illness and disable tragedies for antonia AND aziraphale! (i forgot to mention it but while crowley was out here getting surgeries, she nearly got targeted by a serial killer. at this point i nearly fucking deleted life’s tragedies)
they both get some sleep after all the trauma it is now sim day 3. while aziraphale goes to her culinary career, i let antonia celebrate with two hookups from the simda dating app and she gets promptly railed by akira kibo and johnny zest.
aziraphale always has a tense moodlet from being introverted and particularly wasn’t feeling it when akira fucking kibo would not leave so i use the extreme violence mod to murder his ass while antonia naps.
now that its just them, we finally catch up on getting the ineffable idiots together :)) they flirt more, hug and eventually woohoo on the coffee table and go to sleep. they’re also officially dating
my sims wake up at the ass crack of dawn, it is day 4 in sims time and i notice an uncomfortable moodlet off of crowley so i check. IT IS PREGNANCY CRAVINGS???? yeah crowleys pulled a donna sheridan by getting knocked up and not knowing who the father is.
she tells azi, who gets a fine moodlet from the baby not being hers. i notice this, have them be flirty in the kitchen and BAM is that a proposal literally TWELVE MINUTES BEFORE AZI GOES TO WORK?? you’d be correct ding ding.
i make some adjustments to the house because crowley now has a crotch groblin inside her. the wives share a room, and crowleys old room becomes a yellow nursery for baby girl!
not very eventful until literally 10pm, when thanks to LIFES TRAGEDIES MOD we get an armed robber come in while crowley is napping 💀 so i use mc command center, think the robber will die if i kill her and turn her into a ghost because there’s been a few failed murder attempts and brawls atp but SHES STILL ROBBING OUR HOUSE. AS A FUCKING GHOST.!?!(!,
at this point only the lord can save these bastards so i leave without saving so the heist never happened.
redo of day 4, morning still the same but they instead adopt a hairless cat named maya and immediately become the worlds best cat mums :)) we might have had to delete the adopter to be able to officially keep her but it’s fine!
that’s all that’s eventful for now, so i have to ask:
#hope you enjoyed my shit show of a sims game#good omens#good omens 2#simblr#sims 4#my sims#sims 4 mods#my sims games are truly just a riverdale episode#fuck you life’s tragedies i really need u gone#@ sacrificial you need fucking therapy#and lastly because i fucking forgot to tag it#ineffable wives#i sincerely hope you enjoyed this
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Are there any songs you associate with your ocs?Like, something that fits them?
Oh yeah, we both have a small list. Sea shanties work for any one of them, so I haven't put many of those on here. Obviously there's many more than this, but these are the ones that come to mind off the top of my head. Some of them are very circumstantial in a 'you had to be there' kind of way, but a lot of them are vague as well. Yeah, some of them are the stereotypical ones you see on lists like this, but hey, I've been hanging around for too long not to have some of those.
Here's a small list of my songs for each idiot:
Corvus
Mare of my Night - Týr
Bloodstains on the captain's log - Carach Angren
Pretty when you cry - Vast
I'm your nightmare - The Brains
Sweeter than wine - The Brains
Sweet Things - The Pretty Reckless
Novelty Crosses - The Black Dahlia Murder
Whisper - Burn the Ballroom
In this world or the one below - Assassin's Creed IV Black Flag
Mother Russia/Dominion - Sisters of Mercy
Pain - Boy Harsher
The Bondage Song (Unchained Mix) - London After Midnight (Slight flash warning)
Love you to death - London After Midnight
Keelhauled - Alestorm
Lorely - Blackmore's Night
One winged angel - Aurora Australis Music
Smells Blood - Kensuke Ushio
Fear and Delight - The Correspondents
The scorpion and the frog - Marc Senter
Cry little sister - The Anix
Scream - Avenged Sevenfold
Luci - Zand
He's a pirate - Falkkone
Ilya
Lingering in an imprint haunting - Carach Angren
Katyusha - Megaraptor
Бабушка - ПНЕВМОСЛОН
Yuve Yuve Yu - The Hu
Black Thunder - The Hu
Wolf Totem - The Hu
This is Mongol - The Hu
Kiss - London After Midnight
Lacrymosa - Kalafina
Swan Lake - The Agonist
Where good girls go to die - London After Midnight
Russian Girl - Женя Любич
ПЕСНЬ 1 - БАТЮШКА
Batse tsyku - Бетал Иванов
Грустная Сука - IC3PEAK
Dead but Pretty - IC3SPEAK
Это пройдёт - Pornofilmy
Дядя Володя - Pornofilmy
She's in Parties - Bauhaus
Bind, Torture, Kill - Suicide Commando
Alone again, or - The Damned
History of Artemisia - Junkie XL
I, Caligvla - Ex Deo
Doce Doce - Fred Bongusto
Astarion
The Masochisn Tango - Ringlefinch
Kiss me you animal - Burn the Ballroom
Villainous Thing - Shayfer James
Hades OST... but it's funky - Alex Moukala Music
Bruises and Bitemarks - Good with Grenades
Danger! High Voltage - Electric Six
She dominates - Blitzkid
La Bomba- Lord of the Lost
Hit me like a man - The Pretty Reckless
After Dark - Tito y Tarantula
Jolly Sailor Bold - Ashley Serena
Choke - Royal and the Serpent
Hatefuck - The Bravery
Sex Hat Keine Macht - Oomph!
Tongues and Teeth - The Crane Wives
Lovesong - Snake River Conspiracy
Before I'm Dead - Kidneythieves
Metal Woman - 3 Inches of Blood
I'm Charming - Black Dahlia Murder
White Wedding - Billy Idol
You are a pirate - Alestorm
Bad Voodoo - Kreeps
Dead Girls are Easy - The 69 Eyes
Ex Mortis - Ice Nine Kills
Paradise - Satanicpornocultshop
Fuck Me - Vernon Jane
You belong to me - Cat Pierce
Reaver
Laisse tomber les filles - April March
Sisters - Pain of Salvation
Stand and Deliver - Adam & the Ants
The pain looks good on you - London After Midnight
Esmeralda - Burn the Ballroom
Love me, love me, love me - Kikuo
Who is she - I Monster
Gunslingers Glory - The Dead South
Gett off - Prince
Bloodsport - KMFDM Vs Skold
Gintleman's Club - The Dreadnoughts
Sleep is for the weak - The Dreadnoughts
Stupid Girl - Cold
Platz Eins - LINDEMANN
G Spot Micheal - LINDEMANN
Skin City - Steven Tyler
Violent Pornography - System of a Down
Santiano - The Longest Johns ft. SKALD
Sex - Oomph!
Follow me down - The Pretty Reckless
Amore Fermati - Fred Bongusto
Pervert - The Descendents
Your heart is as black as night - Melody Gardot
Bück Dich - Rammstein
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just barely holding back from sending you the entire list lmaooo. once again, feel free to pick and choose
1, 3, 5, 15, 24, 37, 42, 54, 77, 85, 100, 129, 131
Bean, my beloved. Hello dear thank you for always coming through 💖
A book that is close to your heart
Vicious by V.E. Schwab. If I had to pick a favorite book, it's probably this one. My original copy of this book is SO fucked up lmaoo
3. A stand-alone that you wish was a part of a series
OH Wilder Girls by Rory Power. What a phenomenal fucking book. It had an open ending that left me satisfied, but also really thinking about what was going to happen and wishing that I knew. I still think about this book and I read it like... four years ago?
5. Something in fiction that reads like poetry
THIS IS HOW YOU LOSE THE TIME WAR BY AMAL EL-MOHTAR AND MAX GLADSTONE HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCK I FUCKING LOVE THIS BOOK AND I HAVE FOR A LONG TIME AND ITS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BOOKS I'VE EVER READ I'M ABOUT TO READ IT FOR A FOURTH AND PROBABLY FIFTH TIME
15. A book rec you really enjoyed
The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley!! This book has something for literally everyone, I'm actually in the process of re-reading it because I didn't know it was a part of a series when I first read it and my therapist keeps telling me that the way that she puts the overall plot of the series together is one of the most interesting things he's ever read
24. A book on your nightstand
The Cabinet by Un-Su Kim, The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin, The Martian by Andy Weir, Vicious by VE Schwab, I'll stop there because I'm not typing out like 20 titles for this and I wish I was joking
37. Your favorite heist book
I'm actually not entirely sure that this counts, but Anxious People by Frederick Backman. I have a bunch of heist books that I want to read, but I haven't gotten around to yet. This is one of my all time favorite recs though! I love Frederick Backman fr he's such a great author
42. A book that made you want to scream by the time you got to the end
Lost Boy by Christina Henry oh my god. Ohhhh my god. Oh my sweet lord. Everything by Christina Henry is phenomenal, but this one in particular fucked me up. This was one of those books that leaves you feeling raw and hollow at the end. It will stomp on you. It will shred your heart. It will be worth it.
54. A book with the best opening line
Poison for Breakfast by Lemony Snicket. The opening line is literally "This morning I ate poison for breakfast." Full disclosure, if you go into that book expecting a full plot, you won't enjoy it as much. It's really a very wandery story without much plot, but I had a good time and normally I hate stuff like that. There's just something that's really so lovely about Lemony Snicket's way of writing though. Also, the audiobook is narrated by Patrick Warburton my beloved
77. A book so useless that you could use it as a coaster
Those We Drown by Amy Goldsmith. This is the only book I've ever given a zero star rating to. I've never read fanfiction as bad as this book. This is comparable to my wattpad writing when I was 12. Maybe worse. I wouldn't even use it as a coaster, because I returned it.
85. Your favorite book about magical realism
Right now it's probably Even Though We Knew The End by C.L. Polk. This book was so beautiful, and so quick, and the vibes of it were absolutely impeccable. It's a queer, noir, magical realism murder mystery. It was also slightly devastating, but in a really beautiful, hopeful, satisfying way.
100. Your favorite gothic novel
We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson. This is one of my favorite books of all time, and it's definitely my favorite haunted house story of all time! The plot is just phenomenal and Shirley Jackson is SO incredible. Also it's far superior to The Haunting of Hill House (which she also wrote)
129. A book with beautiful prose
Gallant by V.E. Schwab. She couldn't just have one book on this list. She's my favorite author by FAR. I just. kdfharughu. I don't know how she does it. There are always SO many banger lines in her books. The way she writes is just so. SO. Idk man. If you like my stuff, read her stuff, she's such a huge inspiration to me.
131. Recommend any book you like!
A Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers OR The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey. Literally any book by either of them is phenomenal, but those are two of my favorites! They do have VASTLY different vibes though. A psalm for the wild built is like. a solar-punk utopian book about happiness and existence and success not being defined externally. And the echo wife is like. a sci-fi character study of two (three?) horribly fucked up people and also murder and also becoming the thing you fear the most and losing your humanity and rguahrgur. They're both amazing books though!
book rec ask game
#batsasks#book recs#bibatrambles#🫘 this was a terrible idea#thanks for the ask bestieeee!!!!#for context I've read every one of these and some of them i've read more than once#except for the ones on my nightstand#i'm currently reading those
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It makes Jon super dark if he makes a marriage arrangement for Arya. I really hope he doesn't do that.
Hi, anon. Thanks for the ask.
I think Jon is gonna fuck Dany for her dragons while being in love with his sister, anon. That already makes him a vile bastard, objectively speaking. Subjectively he can be excused since he would be doing it to calm a volatile tyrant like Dany while his feelings for Sansa isn't gonna really harm her.
She had made Hizdahr her king, taken him into her bed, opened the fighting pits for him, he had no reason to want her dead. Yet who else could it have been? Reznak, her perfumed seneschal? The Yunkai'i? The Sons of the Harpy?
Since we're 100% gonna have Dark Dany. I don't think we're gonna have an idiot Jon who was acting like AGoT 11 year old Sansa in the show. Dark Jon is in the cards too.
Off in the distance, a wolf howled. The sound made her feel sad and lonely, but no less hungry. As the moon rose above the grasslands, Dany slipped at last into a restless sleep.
Dany wondering who betrayed her??? (with 3 possible people) only to be answered by a wolf's howl.☠️☠️ Great foreshadowing Aegonys, the wolf howled followed by a restless sleep for Dany. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mormont gave a whistle, and the bird flew to him again and settled on his arm. "A lord's one thing, a king's another."
You would weep as well if you had a son and lost him, Sam almost said. He could not blame Gilly for her grief. Instead, he blamed Jon Snow and wondered when Jon's heart had turned to stone. Once he asked Maester Aemon that very question, when Gilly was down at the canal fetching water for them. "When you raised him up to be the lord commander," the old man answered.
Anon, just imagine someone like Jon who was murdered by his brothers only to be resurrected. He was cold as fuck to Gilly when he was only a Lord Commander, what happens if the North makes him their King? I've always tried to find a possible reason for Gendrya having sex in the show. I agree that they're gonna be canon in the books but I never imagined they would really have sex and an arranged marriage might be the reason for it. Arya is too young imo but being with Gendry can also be Arya's little rebellion. A willful little Lyanna escaping a marriage to be with a Baratheon. Oh how the turn tables. Unlike Lyanna tho, Arya is going to be willful to the end and leave him for her own adventure.
Once Cregan gets a child by me they won't need me anymore. He's buried two wives already." She rubbed away a tear angrily, the way Arya might have done it. "Will you help me?"
"Marriages and inheritance are matters for the king, my lady. I will write to Stannis on your behalf, but—"
"Shortly." Sigorn might take it as a slight if he did not appear. And this marriage is mine own work, after all. "I have other matters to attend to first, however."
Marriages are matters for the King and he's the one who made Alys' marriage which essentially makes him the King.
"You're not scared?"
The girl smiled in a way that reminded Jon so much of his little sister that it almost broke his heart. "Let him be scared of me."
I don't think we should discount Jon making a suitable marriage for Arya. It's not like he's gonna marry her off to a Ramsay Bolton. Damn though. Arya having sex with her fake brother Gendry. And if we get Jonsa on top of that... These Stark sisters sure are something.
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Chapter 3
Words: 3.4K
＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 𝑌/𝑁'𝑠 𝑃𝑂𝑉 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
I knew what was bound to happen after Freya raced away like that but my mind was all about Cedric and how wonderful it would be to learn magic it wasn't until I got home that I realized the amount of trouble I might be in as I open the front door as quietly as I can I go inside the house to see both my grandma and Freya sitting in the living room looking at me with anger and disgust to say that I was not afraid would be a lie the only reason my grandma didn't abuse me constantly was that she didn't want Freya to think of her badly but now I don't know how things are going to be so I stayed quiet as they glare at my every move trying not to make matters worse for me even though I didn't do anything wrong to start with
"Oh, you got some nerve girl to look at me after what have you done! you should be ashamed of yourself" Shouted the older woman referring to how she 'endangered' her cousin with her magic
I nervously looked up at her only to see that the anger she bottled up for years had floated into the surface as if it was kept inside held captive and had finally escaped being held back at me
"But I have done nothing wrong to be ashamed of!" I declared looking at her again I knew I was making it worse but I couldn't help but get mad usually I would stay silent until she finished yelling at me and go away when she demanded it but I didn't understand why she was angry right now I did nothing to be yelled at
"Nothing to be ashamed of! Ha, what a joke you're a Witch for God's sake it's because of your kind that my poor sons and their wives are dead! YOU KILLED THEM!" She screeched
But I wasn't having it I have been feeling guilt for something that I have never done for a long time know that I won't just let it slide this time
"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS BLAME ME FOR THEIR DEATHS? I don't even know how could I be responsible for my and Freya's parents' deaths it doesn't make sense!" I uttered trying to get any information I could so I could understand what she means
"Oh, you want to know how it's your fault? fine. I will tell you it's because your git of a mother who meet my daughter in law a few years before she got married to my dear son and somehow when they came to visit me here in the early morning they found you at my front door with a little envelope explaining that you're know an orphan and they instead on keeping you with them a couple of years later when you were 5 some funny looking people came to the house both my sons were sharing along with their wives as I was taking both of you to the park they demanded they have you and when my poor children refused to hand or your location they killed them with their magic and unfortunately I was left with the task to take care of the both of you only to find out a few years later that you're the daughter of a murder and how your father has killed a lot of innocent people maybe the families of the people who was killed by your murderer of a father are the ones of came to the house that day if they never took in if they just minded their own business they would have been a life right now" she finished while glaring at me her face was as red as a tomato from anger but I can see sadness and grief in her eyes Freya socked as I was
'My father?' I wondered as I looked up at her in confusion
"what? " I questioned quietly not knowing what to say
"Surprised? I hope you are ready because in a couple of days, you will be staying with the Dursleys I will be paying them for you to stay there now that you're all magic I can't have you in my house at least for a while me and Freya will go out of town to try and get a break from you and your magic as long as possible be at your best behaviour and don't you dare tell anyone about being a witch you hear me!" She said sternly as she hugged Freya who was still trying to calm down from being dumbstruck but nothing was available then she took her and went upstairs to pack their stuff
"Wait!" I called out and she stopped and revolved back to look at me
"You said that m-my father my real father is a murderer? And he's alive?"
She turned to look at me with a face full of disgust
"Yes after the death of my family I did some research on your last name and found out that your father was arrested a few years before their deaths because he was found with a gun and caused the death of 12 innocent people" She said before leaving and pulling the redhead girl with her
'Tha's not true it can't be' I thought as my eyes wild with tears but none of them spelt out
I was taken back my parents weren't actually my real parents it was something I was supposed to be sad about being adopted and all all I could think of was who my real parents were and where I know now that my father was alive so I will try to look for him from what grandma said about my mother the real one she was a witch too which means I am not a Muggle-born as Cedric said with everything that happened today I got to my 'bedroom' got changed and laid on my bed thinking over every moment of the day it wasn't until now that it hit me the feeling of sadness being lied to and losing someone I thought of as a sister I can feel some tears going down my cheeks as I drafted to sleep
It's been days since the argument at the (L/n) household and both the older women and Freya have been hard on (Y/n) making her do more chores and always locking her into her room if she's inside the house because they didn't want to see her face anywhere while they are in the house as well and not feed her if she tries to reveal more about her father from the older women in the house it was now a forbidden subject to talk about the girl's father but the said girl distracted herself by going to visit harry and after that, she goes to the park where she has been meeting with a certain boy who has given her his old school books for her to learn about the magic he gives her books alongside his old notes such as:
Hogwarts: A History.
The Standard Book Of Spells. Magical Theory.
A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration.One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi.
Magical Drafts and Potions. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
and The Dark Forces: A Guide for Self-Protection.
He said is everything a first-year would need except of course a Wand but she can't buy one right now because she doesn't know where to buy one from and ever since she had the fight with her grandma which she told Cedric all about (she couldn't tell harry because she is not allowed to talk about her being a witch to anyone) her grandma decided that she won't need money because she will be moving with the Dursleys and because she was already paying enough for her to stay there and know she was sitting beside Cedric (at their meeting place under their tree far away from any noisy Muggles that could be listening to them) who was trying to teach her to the spell using his wand
"Ok just swing your hand like this and say Rictusempra" explained the boy cheerfully as he watched his friend beside him trying to copy his actions
Rictusempra: the tickling charm
Swinging her hand (Y/n) felt the magic at the end of the wand making her more confident about her magical abilities
"Rictusempra!" She said and looked quite amazed as sparks went out the end of the wand she was holding
It was her first time trying a spell out after some bickering with Cedric as the boy thought that she was ready to try a spell on her own using his wand while she on the other hand was afraid of missing something up and getting caught by Muggles
"Look! You did it B fly told you you can do it" nudging her playfully as the sparks continued lighting brightly at the end of the wand
"Thanks, Ced you don't know how much this means to me" The girl smiled up at him
"Don't mention it I like spending time with you I really wish you could come with me to Hogwarts and I could have shown you more than you could dream of" he retorted looking down at her and smiling a peaceful smile but then that peaceful moment is now long gone with the sight of the younger girls smirk he narrowed his eyebrows at her trying to figure out what's going on her mind
"So this is the tickling charm eh?" She said still smirking as she moved the tip of the wand towards the older boy whose face changed quickly from confused to panicking
"(Y/n) I swear to merl-"
"Rictusempra!"
Before he could say anymore he was down on the ground laughing while the younger girl giggled and kneeled to his side after a few seconds she stopped using the spell against her friend who was trying to take his breath on the ground
"You little troublemaker I didn't teach you spells to use it against me!" He said playfully while getting up
"Sorry couldn't hold myself" She replied giggling
"You're not sorry are you?"
"Nope"
In a blink of an eye the wand was snitch away from the girl and returned back to its rightful owner after putting it in his pocket he turned to the girl tackling her on the ground tickling her as a sort of revenge for using the charm on him as they continue their playing and laughing until it was time to go visit the Dursleys (Y/n) said goodbye to Cedric and made her way to the Dursleys for her daily visit she was to be living with them in a few days so she wanted to spend time with cedric as much as she can before she goes there because she doesn't know if will be able to go out as much when she goes there but today she wanted to see harry as she has been spending less time with him lately and she can feel him starting to notice something is wrong with her and him knowing that she is a witch even thought she wants to tell him she was afraid that he will react the same as freya and she of course doesn't want that to happened. the last few days was hard but she's happy that she is learning more about herself every passing day every since cedric started to teach her magic she read most of the books he gave her and as from now on they will be practicing simple and easy magical spells like the one they practiced today (Y/n) thought it was a cute spell and useful for torture friend and she was totally going to use it more on cedric when she's bored
As she waddled on her way she remembered the Walkman she brought with her it had a headphone and a hands-free She also brought some tapes of songs she thought he might like. it was a gift for Harry she was saving to buy it for a while she thought that he might like listening to music when he wants to take a break from Dudley's shouting and crying all the time even though it was pretty expensive she says that it's worth it if she gets to make harry smile she wants to make him happy and she feels guilty for not spending as much time with him as she used to do.
She arrived at the Drusley's house and she knocked on the door waiting for Harry to open it. not too long after she heard faint footsteps and the door opened to reveal a smiling Harry upon seeing that she finally come as he was waiting patiently for her to come. his aunt was out with Dudley to who knows where and his uncle was in the living room he was watching TV and fell asleep while watching which Harry was thankful for because he now could spend time with her without any of them interfering so he gave her a quick hug
"Come on inside. just be careful Uncle Vernon is sleeping on the couch" He said pulling her with him inside
"let's go to your room I have something for you" (Y/n) said grinning at him excited to see his reaction
After leading her to his 'room' which was the cupboard under the stairs it barely fit both of them but they didn't mind that much even though it was little space it was preferred than the risk of any of Dursleys being with them knowing how they could be cruel to the boy
"Are you all right?" Harry asked looking at the (H/c) girl and giving her a worried look as he could see how tired she had looked the past few days
The said girl frowned her eyebrows at his statement
"What do you mean? Of course, I am all right" She queried even though she didn't tell him anything that was bothering her she knew that the boy in front of her can she that she has been bothered the last few days
"I am not an idiot you know I can tell that something has been troubling you for a while now"
"I mean-" She started but stopped when she saw him glaring at her
"Sorry"
"You have been distant lately you look more tired than usual you rarely stay here anymore always in a rash to get home and our nightly conversations have also been shorter because of how tired you are to get up late at night" the boy mumbled feeling sad thinking she might be tired of hanging out with him and she doesn't want to see him anymore the thought of the girl he grow to love her presence not wanting to be with him anymore hurts him so much he doesn't want to let go of her
On the other hand, the girl beside him notices how he looks glum and is saddened by the looks of the boy she knows that she has been distant but when he states it that way it hurts her and she feels guilty for leaving Harry She wants to tell him everything but her given circumstances doesn't give her a choice but to lie to him
"I am sorry Harry I didn't mean to be away from you my grandma is being a lot harsher to me these few days and she started locking me up so I can't get out of the house," she told him half a lie she hates lying to him but she doesn't have a choice
"Why is she locking you up?" He asked frowning and tilting his head to look at her
"You know how she says I am the one who killed mine and Freya's parents"
"Yes which sounds like a lot of rubbish if you ask me" the boy replayed smirking at his words while the girl beside him chuckled softly
"Well turns out that my parents are not my parents and my real father is a murderer so my grandma thinks he's responsible for their deaths" She quietly says as she plays with her fingers nervously as she doesn't know how he would react
"Well your grandma is a twat" He said while the girl gasps
"Harry!" She says as if she scolding him but when she looks at her friend only to see the smirk still painted on his face
"What am I wrong?"
"Well, not really... " Both of them laugh at her words
"No but really (Y/n) your dad being a murderer has nothing to do with you so don't think about what that woman says she is too old to know what she's talking about" Harry says as he puts his hand on hers squeezing her hand in his reassuring the girl that's everything is going to be fine
She smiles squeezing his hand back as if telling him she going to be fine
"Oh! I totally forgot!" She suddenly remembers why she came here
"What's it?"
She didn't answer but pulled out the gift she had been waiting to give the boy. As she turns back to him she sees his eyes sparkle as he looks at her hands which are holding a bag of tapes and the Walkman she bought for him
The boy was stunned he knew what a Walkman was but the thing is that these things are expensive not to mention that the tapes don't come with them so it might have taken you a lot of time to afford one. Harry looked at the girl
"Is that a Walkman?" He asked gleefully
"No that's my grandma's dentures," said the now smirking
"Ok that's gross" He said before feeling pumped and excited to try it out since the only music the boy ever listened to was either the boring radio music that Uncle Vernon always listened to or the music that came once in a while on TV
(Y/n) handed the Walkman to him as so pulled out the hand-free set and put the tapes down for him to choose from while doing so the boy looked at her softly he felt warm inside but didn't mind it much
"Here I bought all these for you thought you need to have a break from the Dursleys once in a while just don't get caught using it or Dudley will break it for you" She continued to mutter as the boy could only stare at her.
It wasn't the first time the girl gifted him something valuable but this time he couldn't shake the warm feeling he felt rising to his chest he wanted to make her happy as much as she made him but under the circumstances they were in he couldn't the thought of spoiling her as she does to him doesn't leave his mind for a moment until her voice brings him back to reality
"So I bought some tapes I thought you would like to listen to. Which one do you think we can listen to first there are some old songs from the 80s too" She described as she looked at Harry only for him to embrace her in his arms
"Thank you, you really should stop spoiling me too much" His voice was muffled a bit as he nuzzled his face on her shoulder
"No need to thank me Harry plus I wanted to spoil you a little nothing wrong with it as long as you don't turn into Dudley" She chuckles
The boy darts away from her grossed out at the thought of him acting like his cousin but soon joins the girl laughing as he chooses a tape and hands it to the girl as she plugs the hand free on both of them leaning on the cupboard wall a sharing as they both listen to the music and putting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes as she seems more relaxed now she didn't notice the boy who looked like he had been bewitched by her small action his cheeks grew hot and tenses a bit but when he hears soft snores his body relaxed and he smiled placing his head one her's as he enjoyed the music and drafts to sleep soon after both of them slept while listening to Running up that hill by kate bush
#original character#oc#harry potter fanfiction#fanfic#harry potter x y/n#harry potter x you#harry potter x reader#Spotify
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tag someone you want to know better
tagged by @rartorata side note still struggle with spelling that to the point where the other night i had a dream that a certain youtuber who lives in our city who has a 100k+ followers iirc and goes to a local con here tried to get you cancelled but it didnt work bc she couldnt spell ur username right. lol.
Favourite colour: red :3 or green
Last song: Canary in a Coal Mine - the Crane Wives
Last movie: blue beetle :333--oh wait i did see american psycho since then
Currently watching: tv show wise, just undead girl murder farce on the go, everything else i was watching with friends is on hold rn... at this very moment, some nisipisa window shopping videos. also working through the newest quintonreviews mega video
Currently reading: Still reading the Brian Deer book from awhile ago, but for comics it's We Are Robin and this spider-man 2099 and arana novel.
Currently working on: getting through a bunch of books to donate, fixing my sleep schedule.... i have a con coming up but i decided im not doing anything new for it bc i have cosplays ive only worn once or never to bring to it anyways (i try to wear my cosplays at least twice lol). wanna get back to art or writing soon tho but ive been zzzzz
Current obsession: Been reading thru all my comic trades so mostly DC comics rn... Damian Wayne has been on my mind a lot today
too eepy to tag people and martha is kneading my arm
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**Share 5 songs related to your current WIPs (art or writing related)
**If you don’t have a WIP, you can share what you like about your top 5!
Tagged by @vodkafolie thank uuuu! 💜 (also christ this took me so long sorry I'm a human disaster)
1. Atom Bomb Baby - Five Stars
This is Lottie's theme song. If you've heard it (probably from playing Fallout 4 lol) you know why. It's got this great old-timey uplifting tune and is about a pint-sized furious girl that the singer implies is just awesome purely because she's such a little spitfire. We stan.
2. Run Away to Mars - TALK
I am very not normal about this song lol. Something something when a home doesn't feel like a home but there's still someone rooting you to it but you can't stay.
Your color's fading
'Cause I kept you waiting
It's a wild wild world
And you're a wild wild girl
Screaming into my pillow, crying, throwing up etc.
3. The Yawning Grave - Lord Huron
I mean. Show me another song that fucks harder than this, yeah? The vibes? Impeccable. Perfect for creepy cursed village setting.
I tried to warn you when you were a child
I told you not to get lost in the wild
I sent omens and all kinds of signs
I taught you melodies, poems, and rhymes
Oh, you fool, there are rules, I am coming for you
(You can run but you can't escape)
Darkness brings evil things, oh, the reckoning begins
(You will open the yawning grave)
4. Let Me Roll It - Paul McCartney & Wings
This is the song drunk Karl puts on and tries to seduce Kris with before faceplanting and falling asleep partially in her lap.
That's it. That's the explanation.
5. NFWMB - Hozier
This is the ~serious~ Murder Mom/Murder Dad song. There is literally no one doing it like Hozier with his songs about bisexual men worshiping their wives/girlfriends.
If I was born as a blackthorn tree
I'd wanna be felled by you
Held by you
Fuel the pyre of your enemies
Ain't it warming you, the world gone up in flames?
Ain't it the life you, you're lighting of the blaze?
Ain't it a waste they'd watch the throwing of the shade?
Ain't you my baby? Ain't you my babe?
This was fun! I'll tag anyone who wants to do it but be sure to tag me back so I can see! :)
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Favorite actors and actresses part 3
Watched ✅
Haven’t watched yet ❌
FAVES ❤️🔥
Jennifer Lawrence
•15 august 1990 (Indian Hills)
•🇺🇸
Movies
Company town (2006) : Caitlin ❌
Not another high School show (2007) : panic girl ❌
Garden party (2008) : Tiff ❌
The poker house (2008) : Agnes❌
The burning plain (2008) : Mariana ❌
Winters bone (2010) : Ree❌
Like crazy (2011) : Sam❌
The beaver (2011) : Norah❌
X-men first class (2011) : raven Darkhölme/mystique ❌
The hunger games (2012) : Katniss ✅❤️🔥
Silver linings playbook (2012) : Tiffany❌
House at the end of the street (2012) : Elissa❌
The devil you know (2013) : Young Zoe
The hunger games : Catching fire (2013) : Katniss ✅❤️🔥
American hustle (2013) : Rosalyn❌
X-men days of future past (2014) : Raven Darkhölme/Mystique❌
Serena (2014) : Serena ❌
The hunger games mockingjay part 1 (2014) : Katniss ✅❤️🔥
The hunger games mockingjay part 2 (2015) : Katniss ✅❤️🔥
Joy (2015) : Joy ❌
X-men : Apocalypse (2016) : Raven Darkhölme/mystique ❌
Passengers (2016) : Aurora ✅
Mother! (2016) : Mother❌
Red sparrow (2018) : Dominika❌
X-men : Dark Phoenix (2019) : Raven Darkhölme/mystique ❌
Don’t look up (2021) : Kate✅
Shows
Monk (2006) : Mascot ❌
Cold case (2007) : Abby ❌
The bill engvall show (2007-2009) : Lauren❌
Medium (2007) : Claire ❌
Medium (2008) : Young Allison ❌
Maggie Smith
•28 december 1934 (Ilford)
•🇬🇧
Movies
Child in the house (1956) : Party woman ❌
Nowhere to go (1958) : Bridget ❌
Hay fever (1960) ❌
Go to blazes (1962) : Chantal❌
The vips (1963) : Miss Mead ❌
The pumkin eater (1964) : Philpott❌
Young Cassidy (1965) : Nora❌
Othello (1965) : desdemona❌
Much Ado about nothing (1967) : Beatrice❌
The honey pot (1967) : Sarah❌
Man & Superman (1968) ❌
Hot millions (1968) : Patty❌
The seagull (1968) : Irina❌
The prime of miss Jean Brodie (1969) : Jean❌
Oh! What a lovely war (1969) : Music hall star❌
The merchant of Venice (1972) : Portia❌
The millionaires (1972)❌
Travels with my aunt (1972) : aunt Augusta❌
Love and pain and the whole damn thing (1973) : Lila❌
Murder by death (1976) : Miss Dora❌
Death on the Nile (1978) : Miss bowers❌
California suite (1978) : Diana❌
Quartet (1981) : Lois❌
Clash of The titans (1981) : Thetis❌
Better late than never (1982) : Miss Anderson❌
Evil under the sun (1982) : Daphne❌
The missionary (1982) : Lady Isabel❌
Lily in love (1984) : Lily❌
A private function (1984) : Joyce❌
A room with a view (1985) : Charlotte❌
The lonely passion of Judith hearne (1987) : Judith❌
Romeo-Juliet (1990) : Rozaline (voice)❌
Hook (1991) : grown up Wendy ❌
Memento mori (1992) : mrs Mabel❌
Sister act (1992) ❌
Suddenly, last summer (1993) : Violet❌
The secret garden (1993) : mrs medlock❌
Sister act 2 (1993) ❌
Richard III (1995) ❌
The first wives club (1996) : Gunilla ❌
Washington square (1997) : Aunt Lavinia❌
Tea with Mussolini (1999) : Lady Hester❌
The last September (1999) : Lady Myra❌
Curtain call (1999) : Lily❌
All the kings men (1999) : Queen Alexandra❌
David copperfield (1999) : Betsey❌
Harry Potter and the philosopher’s stone (2001) : Professor Mcgonagall✅
Gosford park (2001) : Constance❌
Divine secrets of the Ya Ya sisterhood (2002) : Caro❌
Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets (2002) : Professor Mcgonagall✅
My house in Umbria (2003) : mrs Emily❌
Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban (2004) : Professor Mcgonagall ✅
Ladies in lavender (2004) : Janet❌
Harry Potter and the goblet of Fire (2005) : Professor Mcgonagall ✅❤️🔥
Keeping mum (2005) : Grace❌
Becoming Jane (2007) : Lady Gresham❌
Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix (2007) : Professor Mcgonagall ✅❤️🔥
Capturing Mary (2007) : Mary❌
Harry Potter and the half blood prince (2009) : Professor Mcgonagall ✅❤️🔥
From time to time (2009) : Linett❌
Harry Potter and the deathly hallows part 1 (2010) : Professor Mcgonagall ✅
Nanny McPhee 2 (2010) : Mrs Docherty✅
Harry Potter and the deathly hallows part 2 (2011) : Professor Mcgonagall ✅❤️🔥
The best exotic marigold hotel (2012) : Muriel❌
Quartet (2012) : Jean❌
My old lady (2014) : Mathilde ❌
The second best marigold hotel (2015) : Muriel❌
The lady In the van (2015) : Miss Mary❌
Downtown Abbey (2019) : Dowager countess ❌
Downtown abbey a new era (2022) : Dowager countess ❌
Shows
All for love (1983) : mrs Silly❌
Talking heads (1987) : Susan❌
Downtown Abbey (2010-2015) : Dowager Countess❌
Colin Firth
•10 september 1960 (Grayshott)
•🇬🇧
Movies
Another country (1984) : Tommy❌
Camille (1984) : Armand❌
Dutch girls (1985) : Neil❌
1919 (1985) : young Alexander ❌
Tales from the Hollywood hills (1987) : Rene❌
A month in the country (1987) : Tom❌
The secret garden (1987) : Adult Colin❌
Apartment zero (1988) : Adrian❌
Tumbledown (1989) : Robert❌
Valmont (1989) : valmont❌
Wings of Fame (1990) : Brian❌
Femme fatale (1991) : Joseph ❌
Out of the blue (1991) : Alan❌
Mad at the moon (1992) : Barber❌
Hostages (1993) : John❌
The hour of the pig (1993) : Richard ❌
The deep blue sea (1994) : Freddie❌
Playmaker (1994) : Ross/Michael❌
master of the moor (1994) : Stephen❌
The windowing of mrs holroyd (1995) : Charles❌
Circle of friends (1995) : Simon ❌
Pride and prejudice (1995) : Mr Fitzwilliam❌
The English patient (1996) : Geoffrey❌
Nostromo (1997) : Charles❌
Fever pitch (1997) : Paul❌
A thousand acres (1997) : Jess❌
Shakespeare in love (1998) : Lord Wessex❌
Donovan Quick (1999) : Donovan❌
My life so far (1999) : Edward ❌
The secret laughter of women (1999) : Matthew❌
Blackadder back & Forth (1999) : William Shakespeare ❌
The turn of the screw (1999) : the master ❌
Relative values (2000) : Peter❌
Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001) : Mark✅❤️🔥
Conspiracy (2001) : Dr Wilhelm ❌
Londinium (2001) : Allen ❌
The importance of being earnest (2002) : Jack❌
Hope springs (2003) : Colin❌
What a girl wants (2003) : Henry❌
Girl with a pearl earring (2003) : Johannes Vermeer ❌
Love actually (2003) : Jamie✅
Trauma (2004) : Ben❌
Bridget jones: The edge of reasons (2004) : Mark✅❤️🔥
Where the truth lies (2005) : Vince❌
Nanny McPhee (2005) : Mr Brown✅❤️🔥
London (2006) : Mark❌
Celebration (2006) : Russell ❌
The meat trade (2006) ❌
Then she found me (2006) ❌
The colossus (2007) : Francis❌
And when did you last see your father? (2007) : Blake❌
Toyer (2007) : Toyer❌
The last legion (2007) : Aurelius❌
Mamma Mia! (2008) : Harry✅❤️🔥
The accidental husband (2008) : Richard❌
Genova (2008) : Joe❌
Easy virtue (2008) : Mr Whittaker❌
A single man (2009) : George❌
Dorian Gray (2009) : Lord Henry❌
A Christmas carol (2009) : Fred❌
The kings speech (2010) : King George VI✅
Main Street (2010) : Gus❌
Steve (2010) : Steve❌
Tinker tailor soldier spy (2011) : Bill❌
Gambit (2012) : Harry❌
The railway man (2013) : Eric❌
Magic in the moonlight (2014) : Stanley❌
Kingsman: the secret service (2014) : Galahad/Harry✅
Bridget Jones’s baby (2016) : Mark✅❤️🔥
Genius (2016) : Max ❌
Red Nose Day actually (2017) : Jamie✅
Kingsman : the golden circle (2017) : Galahad/Harry✅
The happy prince (2018) : Reggie❌
Mamma Mia! Here we go again (2018) : Harry✅❤️🔥
The mercy (2018) : Donald❌
Mary poppins returns (2018) : William ❌
Kursk (2018) : David❌
1917 (2019) : General Erinmore✅
Supernova (2019) : Sam❌
Operation mincemeat (2021) : Ewen❌
The staircase (2022) : Michael ❌
Shows
Lost empires (1986) : Richard ❌
Helena Bonham Carter
•26 May 1966 (London)
•🇬🇧
Movies
A room with a view (1985) : Lucy❌
Lady Jane (1986) : Lady Jane❌
Maurice (1987) : lady at cricket match❌
La Maschera (1988) : Iris❌
Francesco (1989) : Chiara❌
Getting it right (1989) : Lady Minerva❌
Hamlet (1990) : Ophelia❌
Where angels fear to tread (1991) : Caroline❌
Howard’s end (1992) : Helen ❌
Frankenstein (1994) : Elizabeth ❌
Mighty Aphrodite (1995) : Amanda❌
Margaret’s museum (1995) : Margaret❌
Twelfth night or what you will (1996) : Olivia❌
Portraits Chinois (1996) : Ada❌
The wings of the dove (1997) : Kat❌
Keep the aspidistra flying (1997) : Rosemary❌
The petticoat expeditions (1997) : Narrator❌
The revengers comedies (1998) : Karen❌
Merlin (1998) : Morgana❌
The theory of flight (1998) : Jane❌
Fight club (1999) : Marla❌
Women talking dirty (1999) : Cora❌
Planet of the apes (2001) : Ari✅
Novocaine (2001) : Susan❌
The heart of me (2002) : Dinah❌
Till human voices wake us (2002) : Ruby❌
Big fish (2003) : Jenny❌
Lemony Snicket’s a series of unfortunate events (2004) : Beatrice❌
Charlie and the chocolate factory (2005) : mrs Bucket✅❤️🔥
Conversations with other women (2005) : Woman❌
The curse of the were-rabbit (2005) : Lady Campanula (voice) ❌
Corpse bride (2005) : corpse bride (voice)❌
Sixty six (2006) : Esther❌
Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix (2007) : Bellatrix✅❤️🔥
Sweeney todd : The demon barber of Fleet Street (2007) : Mrs Lovett❌
Terminator salvation (2009) : dr Selena❌
Harry Potter and the half blood prince (2009) : Bellatrix✅❤️🔥
Alice in wonderland (2010) : red queen❌
The king’s speech (2010) : Elizabeth✅
Harry Potter and the deathly hallows part 1 (2010) : Bellatrix ✅
Harry Potter and the deathly hallows part 2 (2011) : Bellatrix✅
Dark shadows (2012) : Dr Julia❌
Great expectations (2012) : Miss Havisham❌
Les misérables (2012) : Madame Thénardier❌
The Lone Ranger (2013) : Red Harrington❌
The young & prodigious TS Spivet (2013) : dr Clair ❌
Cinderella (2015) : Fairy godmother✅
Suffragette (2015) : Edith❌
Alice through the looking glass (2016) : Iracebeth/Red queen❌
55 steps (2017) : Eleanor ❌
Ocean’s 8 (2018) : Rose❌
Enola Holmes (2020) : Eudoria✅
Enola Holmes 2 (2022) : Eudoria✅
Shows
Carnival (2000) : Milly (voice) ❌
The crowns (2019-2020) : Margaret ✅
Rebel Wilson
•2 March 1980 (Sydney)
•🇦🇺
Movies
Fat pizza (2003) : Toula ❌
Ghost rider (2007) : Girl in alley❌
Bargain! (2009) : Linda❌
Bridesmaids (2011) : Brynn✅
A few best man (2011) : Daphne ❌
Bachelorette (2012) : Becky ❌
Small apartments (2012) : Rocky❌
This means war (2012) : Guest appearance❌
Struck by lightning (2012) : Malerie❌
What to expect when you’re expecting (2012) : Janice❌
Ice age continental drift (2012) : Rae (voice)✅
Pitch perfect (2012) : Fat Amy✅
Pain & gain (2013) : Robin❌
Night at the museum : secret of the tomb (2014) : Tilly✅
Pitch perfect 2 (2015) : Fat Amy ✅
How to be single (2016) : Robin❌
Grimsby (2016) : Dawn ❌
Absolutely fabulous: the movie (2016)❌
Pitch perfect 3 (2017) : Fat Amy✅
The hustle (2019) : Penny❌
Cats (2019) : Jennyanydots❌
Isn’t it romantic (2019) : Natalie❌
Jojo rabbit (2019) : Fraulein Rahm✅
Senior Year (2022) : Stephanie✅
Shows
Pizza (2003-2007) : Toula ❌
Bogan pride (2008) : Jennie❌
Monster house (2008) : Penelope ❌
City homicide (2009) : Sarah❌
Rules of engagement (2010) : Sara❌
Super fun night (2013-2014) : Kimie❌
Olivia Colman
•30 January 1974 (Norwich)
•🇬🇧
Movies
The strategic humor initiative (2003) ❌
Terkel I knibe (2004) : Mother of Terkel ❌
Angell’s hell (2005) : Belinda❌
Zemanovaload (2005) : tv producer❌
Confetti (2006) : Joanna❌
Hot fuzz (2007) : Doris❌
The grey man (2007) : Linda❌
I could never be your woman (2007) : hairdresser❌
Grow your own (2007) : Alice❌
Hancock & Joan (2008) : Marion❌
Consuming passion (2008) : Janet/Violeta❌
Le Donk & scor-zay-zee (2009) : Olivia❌
Kari Gurashi no arietti (2010) : Homily❌
Tyrannosaurus (2011) : Hannah❌
Comic relief: uptown downstairs abbey (2011) : O’Brien❌
The Iron Lady (2011) : Carol❌
Hyde park on Hudson (2012) : Elizabeth ❌
Bad sugar (2012) : Joan❌
I give it a year (2013) : Linda✅
The suspicions of Mr Whicher : the murder in angel lane (2013) : Susan ❌
Locke (2013) : Bethan❌
The five(ish) doctors reboot (2013) : Herself❌
The thirteen tale (2013) : Margaret❌
The 7.39 (2014) : Maggie❌
Cuban Fury (2014) : Sam❌
Pudsey the dog (2014) : Nelly❌
Thomas & friends (2014) : Marion❌
The lobster (2015) : hotel manager ❌
London road (2015) : Julie❌
Thomas & friends (2015) : Marion❌
Thomas & friends (2016) : Marion❌
Murder on the orient express (2017) : Hildegarde❌
The favorite (2018) : Queen Anne❌
Them that follow (2019) : Hope❌
The father (2020) : Anne❌
The Mitchell’s vs the machines (2021) : Pal❌
Ron’s gone wrong (2021) : Donka❌
Mothering Sunday (2021) : Clarrie ❌
The lost daughter (2021) : Leda❌
The electrical life of Louis wain (2021) : Narrator ❌
Super worm (2021) : Narrator ❌
Joyride (2022) : Joy❌
Empire of light (2022) : Hillary❌
Shows
Bruiser (2000) ❌
The Mitchell & web situation (2001)❌
Gash (2003) ❌
Look around You (2005) : Pam❌
Green wing (2004-2006) : Harriet❌
The time of your life (2007) : Amanda❌
That Mitchell and web look (2006-2008) ❌
Mister eleven (2009) : Beth ❌
Beautiful people (2008-2009) : Debbie❌
Exile (2011) : Nancy❌
Twenty twelve (2011-2012) : Sally❌
Rev (2010-2014) : Alex❌
Mr sloane (2014) : Janet❌
The Great War : the people’s story (2014) : Narrator ❌
Peep show (2003-2015) : Sophie❌
The night manager (2016) : Angela❌
Flowers (2016) : Deborah❌
Thomas the tank engine & friends (2014-2016) : Marion✅
Broadchurch (2013-2017) : Ellie❌
Watership down (2018) : Strawberry❌
Les misérables (2018) : Madame Thenardier❌
Fleabag (2016-2019) : Stepmother ❌
The best of Thomas and friends (2020) : Marion❌
The crown (2019-2020) : Queen Elizabeth II✅❤️🔥
Landscapers (2021) : Susan❌
Heartstopper (2022) : Sarah✅❤️🔥
Roh Yoon Seo
•25 january 2000
•🇰🇷
Movies
20th century girl (2022) : Yeon Du✅
Shows
Our blues (2022) : Yeong Ju✅❤️🔥
Millie Bobby Brown
•19 February 2004 (Marbella)
•🇬🇧
Movies
Godzilla : king of the monsters (2019) : Madison❌
Enola Holmes (2020) : Enola✅❤️🔥
Godzilla vs Kong (2021) : Madison ❌
Enola Holmes 2 (2022) : Enola✅❤️🔥
Shows
Once upon a time in wonderland (2013) : young Alice ❌
Intruders (2014) : Madison❌
NCIS (2014) : Rachel❌
Modern Family (2015) : Lizzy✅❤️🔥
Grey’s Anatomy (2015) : Ruby✅
Stranger things (2016-current) : Eleven✅❤️🔥
Bae Hyun Sung
•3 May 1999
•🇰🇷
Movies
The divine fury (2019) : Hyun Sung❌
The most ordinary romance (2019) : Employee❌
Shows
What’s wrong with secretary Kim (2018) : intern staff❌
Love playlist (2018-2019) : Ha Neul✅❤️🔥
Extraordinary you (2019) : Joon Hyun❌
Hospital playlist (2020-2021) : Hong Do❌
Our blues (2022) : Jung Hyun✅❤️🔥
Dear m (2022) : Ha Neul❌
Gaus Electronics (2022) : Ma Tan❌
Madeleine Petsch
•18 august 1994 (Washington)
•🇺🇸/🇿🇦
Movies
The hive (2014) ❌
Instant mom (2015) : Mermaid ❌
The curse of sleeping beauty (2016) : Eliza❌
F the prom (2017) : Marissa❌
Polaroid (2019) : Sarah ❌
Sightless (2020) : Ellen✅
Shows
Riverdale (2017-current) : Cheryl✅❤️🔥
#jennifer lawrence#maggie smith#colin firth#helena bonham carter#rebel wilson#olivia colman#roh yoon seo#millie bobby brown#bae hyun sung#madeleine petsch
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hey all. anyone wanna know my top five favorite episodes per season?? too bad, here we go!!
First off: the season counts are weird. Season one either has 7 or 23 eps and season 11 either has 3 or the normal count and the episodes on the fanwiki have 22-23 per season and thus there’s 17 but other sites have the weird count and thus there's 19 and…we’re going by the fanwiki. SOOOO:
[the christmas eps, and ten other episodes that i have...painstakingly decided are top-tier, are not on this list. gotta give the rest of the show a chance]
Season 1:
francine’s flashback
finances with wolves
a smith in the hand
con heir
not particularly desperate housewives
dear god already making HARD CUTS. oh these are not in order of preference by the way. my brain would Actually break actually
Season 2:
the american dad after school special
dungeons and wagons
joint custody
black mystery month
when a stan loves a woman
Season 3:
stanny slickers 2: the legend of ollie's gold
spring breakup
office spaceman
widowmaker
tearjerker
Season 4:
1600 candles
the one who got away
one little word
jack's back
choosy wives choose smith
WAAAAAAHHH THERES SOOO MANY GREAT ONES NOW I AADFHDFDSGDFG GDSGFDSHFS HFHHF GHGNDGMG
Season 5:
great space roaster
bully for steve
man in the moonbounce
moon over isla island
in country…club
Season 6:
100 AD
son of stan
jenny fromdablock
stanny boy and frantastic
school lies
seasons 4-6 are PEAK to me i think. hardest eps to decide between. which is weird because i still love 99% of this show i swear
Season 7:
hurricane!
the unbrave one
stanny tendergrass
wheels and the legman and the case of grandpa's key
the kidney stays in the picture
Season 8:
adventures in hayleysitting
national treasure 4: baby franny, she's doing well: the hole story
da flippity flop
blood crieth unto heaven
the full cognitive redaction of avery bullock by the coward stan smith
Season 9:
steve and snot's test-tubular adventure
poltergasm
vison: impossible
she swill survive
news glance with genivieve vavance
Season 10:
now and gwen
the shrink
a star is reborn
manhattan murder mystery tour
holy shit, jeff's back!
Season 11:
standard deviation
n.s.a.: no snoops allowed
the devil wears a lapel pin
the unincludeds
mine struggle
Season 12:
portrait of francine's genitals
the witches of langley
camp campawanda
the long bomb
the bitchin' race
Season 13:
paranoid frandroid
shell game
death by dinner party
one woman swole
the legend of old ulysses
Season 14:
rabbit ears
the long march
pride before the fall
enter stanman
downtown
uh oh. first season where personally, love one or two, the rest is 'eh.' still not awful or anything tho
Season 15:
ghost dad
100 yrs a solid fool
into the woods
roger needs dick
tapped out
Season 16:
russian doll
stan & francine and stan & francine & radika
mused and abused
henderson
dancin' a-with my cell
Season 17: last but not least???
dressed down
smooshed: a love story
echoes
hayley was a girl scout?
gold top nuts
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dear god lmao
there are eps that are my faves that didn't make the top five per season. especially between seasons 4-6. rabble rabble hubbub hubbub we're stopping now before i change my mind again
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Hello wife!!!!
Truth or dare
🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?
🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character
🪐 ⇢name three good things going on in your life right now
I love you
Hi wifey <3
🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?
Obviously I'm texting you (if you're not already with me) because like... murder wives
🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character
Joel Miller would not have a Daddy kink imo (however that doesn't stop me from reading Joel Miller Daddy Kink please keep writing it everyone thank you). Oh also all Pedro Boys would fuck fat girls -- end of story, no arguments, I will not be taking questions, thank youuuu.
🪐 ⇢name three good things going on in your life right now
My darling angel friends (you're coming to visit me in like three fuckin weeks ahhh. And Kel in just a few months. EEEEE)
My job, which is so easy and pays so well for how easy it is. We love to see it.
My meds -- brother having my mood stabilized has been such a good time.
I love youuuu
Writers Truth or Dare Ask Game
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To save everyone on discord from my endless song ramblings. I have decided to make the annotated playlist post here. Under the cut is every song on my Juno/Nureyev/Jupeter playlist with explanations and lyric excerpts that really Get me about them. Bon appetit and whatnot.
If you want to listen to the playlist and/or steal the songs you can find it on Spotify and Apple Music.
Also shoutout to everyone in the Penumbra Creator Collective discord. Yes most of these are songs I stole from other people and/or playlists. I don't listen to music ♡
(There is a heavy Nureyev bias in here. I'm a Nureyev girlie. Who knew.)
I'm Good, I'm Gone - Lykke Li
Nureyev who runs away from him fucking problems. Juno who ALSO run away from him fucking problems! They love to run away from everything.
And if you say I'm not okay with miles to go
If you say there ain't no way that I could know
If you say I aim too high from down below
Well say it now 'cause when I'm gone
You'll be calling, but I won't be at the phone
And I'm hanging around 'til it's all done
You can't keep me back once I had some
No wasting time to get it right
And you will see what I'm about
Love Don't Die - The Fray
Nureyev u-haul swag is real. And then in season 3 when they are so clearly…sooo happy together. Like they would die for each other even if they don't stay for each other. They are in love ♡
If I know one thing that's true
It ain't what you say, it's what you do
And you don't say much, yeah, that's true
But I listen when you do
No matter where we go
Or even if we don't
And even if they try
They'll never take my body from your side
Love don't die
Kiss With A Fist - Florence + the Machine
This is very much fitting with the crime boss Roses AU. But also in general Juno and Nureyev bond through a lot of suffering. And also also Juno "active desire to do me harm" Steel.
Blood sticks, sweat drips
Break the lock if it don't fit
A kick in the teeth is good for some
A kiss with a fist is better than none
Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend - Julie London
Heist song!!!! And also Man in Glass Nureyev.
Men grow cold
As girls grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end
But square-cut or pear-shaped
These rocks don't loose their shape
Diamonds are a girl's best friend
Fucking Boyfriend - the bird and the bee
I think it fits them. TBH to be honest. Especially Murderous Mask and Man in Glass.
There is something wrong and there is something right
When you can take me by the hands and I will close my eyes
When you laid down with me you took the other side
When you laid down with me you never slept that night
Are you working up to something, but you give me almost nothing
Keep me helpless up to something on my knees
Runaways - All Time Low
The fantasy of running away together! Nureyev says let's run away and forget everything and they consider it for a little bit, tbh!!!
So let's run away
They will have to find another heart to break
Why don't we just run away?
Never turn around, no matter what they say
We'll find our way
When the sun goes down on this town
There'll be no one left but us
W.A.M.S. - Fall Out Boy
Juno self-hate and loves to ignore things with sex.
Hurry, hurry
You put my head in such a flurry, flurry
Reflect, reflect on what makes you so special
Oh, what makes you so special?
I'm gonna leave you
Oh, I'm gonna teach you
How we're all alone
How we're all alone, oh, oh
Never Love an Anchor - The Crane Wives
Juno cutting Nureyev loose because he thinks he's the anchor and Nureyev is the ship.
There are times where I still wonder about you
You are someone I have loved but never known
And you'll never see the reasons I had
For keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you
Come With Me - Chxrlotte
Final resting place. Especially Nureyev's POV.
They won't find us, you and I
Can watch the stars fall from the sky
The world ends eventually, so come with me
Complicated - Avril Lavigne
Juno and Nureyev both seeing what each other are hiding and so frustrated by it. Especially Juno watching Nureyev wear a mask around their family.
Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Actin' like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall, and you crawl, and you break
And you take what you get and you turn it into
Honesty and promise me, I'm never gonna find you fake it
No, no, no
Cherry Thrill - Movements
"Who knows what kind of trouble we could cause?"
Ooh, am I the only one?
I think it might be fun
Drop everything and run
Ooh, you look so fit to kill
World explodes and I'm with you still
Hypnotized in your cherry thrill
I'm feeling lucky, I'm feeling charmed
You pick the roles, I'll play the part
One robs the bank, one drives the car
And we run the job like a work of art
Fair - The Amazing Devil
Hopelessly and uselessly in love.
"It's not fair, it's not fair how much I love you
It's not fair 'cause you make me ache, you bastard"
And they'll say "Oh how, oh how unreasonable
How unreasonably in love I am with everything you do
I'll spend my days so close to you 'cause if I'm stood here
Then I'm stood here
And I'll stand here I'll stand here with you"
Neptune - Sleeping At Last
Nureyev is allergic to the truth but can't help being a hopeless romantic!!!!
I'm only honest when it rains
If I time it right, the thunder breaks
When I open my mouth I wanna tell you, but I don't know how
I'm only honest when it rains
An open book with a torn out page
And my ink's run out
I wanna love you, but I don't know how
It's Always Sunny With You - {Parentheses}
Nureyev learning how to love in the present instead of just the past. He loves Juno!!!
You caught me when I was falling down
Picked me up when I was on the ground
You were warm when everything was cold
On you, I have been sold
I thought I was drowning once, but then
You made my life happy once again
I thought I was lost but now I'm found
It's you I wanna be around
Black Sheep - Metric
Nureyev loves to self-flagellate by going back even when it hurts. And also he is literally the black sheep of the crew.
I'll send you my love on a wire
Lift you up, every time
Everyone, ooh
Pulls away, ooh
It's a mechanical bull, the number one
You'll take a ride from anyone
Everyone wants a ride
Pulls away, ooh, from you
Bug Like an Angel - Mitski
Nureyev making promises he can't keep! Because he loves Juno but he also is dedicated to his debts (literal and metaphorical).
Hey, what's the matter?
Lookin' like your sticker
Is stuck on a floor somewhere
Did you go and make promises you can't keep?
Well, when ya break them, they break you right back
Amateur mistake, you can take it from me
Where Do You Run - The Score
Nureyev and Juno both wanting to be wanted!! So badly!!!!
The bridges I have crossed since you've been next to me
You showed me there's a life worth fighting for, yeah
Now the tables turned and you're the one in need
Just let me in I'll help you win this war, oh
Devil's Backbone - The Civil Wars
Nureyev sees himself as broken but guess what!!! Juno loves you anyway bitch.
O Lord, O Lord, what have I done?
I’ve fallen in love with a man on the run
O Lord, O Lord, I’m begging you, please
Don’t take that sinner from me
Oh, don’t take that sinner from me
Love of My Life - Queen
Nureyev learning what love really feels like with Juno and well. That's his other half now.
(Please bring it back, back) Bring it back, bring it back
Don't take it away from me
Because you don't know
What it means to me (means to me)
You will remember when this is blown over
And everything's all by the way
When I grow older I will be there at your side
To remind you
How I still love you (I still love you)
Suck the Blood From My Wound - Ezra Furman
Magic healing in various AUs. But also the symbolism of angel Nureyev.
Blood on my angel's lips blends in with his makeup
He's off the premises before his brain's had time to wake up
Peeling off bandages to unfold his wings
The doctors said they'd have to stay on for another three weeks
Fuck it baby, let 'em bruise, let 'em break
But please, let 'em bleed
I let you walk as long as fear will allow
I've never loved you more than I love you now
And then we're back on the road before the sun's even up
We're making time, we're making progress
But progress towards what?
Hero - Faouzia
Nureyev thinking that if he can be Juno's hero, Juno will be his savior. And he does, but not how either of them expect.
If I was your hero, would you be mine?
I know this ain't a fairytale, this is real life
But if I were to save you, would you do the same?
And catch me if I'm fallin', fallin', fallin', fallin'?
Never There - CAKE
Nureyev resenting Juno leaving him. Of course.
On the phone long, long distance
Always through such strong resistance
And first you say you're too busy
I wonder if you even miss me
Only the Lonely Survive - Marianas Trench
Nureyev running back to a "reality" without Juno. He's survived by being no one for years! He knows they're on limited time.
But I know
A love like this will end in tragedy
You know
Every kiss suspending gravity
Burns us both to love this close
We lose ourselves
And I know we won't get out alive
But only the lonely survive
UNBELIEVABLE - Ethan Gander
If Nureyev ever stops running away he'll fall to pieces, so he will keep running until he falls away.
The things I've done to run away
Are unforgivable
This debt I'm unable to pay Is unbelievable
Oh so weary, no rest
And still got miles ahead
I've created a mess with my own bare hands
When Somebody Needs You [Song] - Will Wood
Reuniting on the Carte Blanche and they just…wow they're okay? Actually? And then they both get to be needed by someone who's here.
Then you looked in my eyes and said
"How dare you love me when you should despise me?
You should be scared of me"
It seems that that's what it means
When somebody needs you
Promises - Beach Bunny
Nureyev pissed at Juno but still wanting to be thought of. Because he's that bitch.
Part of me still wants you, part of me wants to fall asleep
When we're all alone in your bedroom, you came like a reoccurring dream
Part of me still hates you, how could you love someone and leave?
When you're all alone in your bedroom, do you ever think of me?
You're a Cad - the bird and the bee
Nureyev is so obsessed with Juno it makes him look stupid. Especially gap between end of FRP and CB.
Also this is reverse AU Nureyev fr.
Still I tug at your line, I'm a fish on your hook
You're rash and you're hasty, you're reckless with my heart
Still I wait by the phone, I will never get smart
I should be better, but I'm worse
A Night Like This - Caro Emerald
The fantasy of being together, of running away, of being a pair. Murderous Mask, Train From Nowhere, and Final Resting Place vibes.
I have never dreamed it
Have you ever dreamed a night like this?
I cannot believe it
I may never see a night like this
When everything you think is incomplete
Starts happening when you are cheek to cheek
Could you ever dream it?
I have never dreamed
Dreamed a night like this
Tomcat Disposables - Will Wood
The Pests and Nureyev dreaming of more.
And so I stumble back to bed
Something's not quite right.
Guess I'll just go rest my head
Now as I lay me down to sleep
I expect no dreams, and no sweet goodbye to me
Flatline in the morning light.
I held on so tight for so long
It's just not right, let a sigh out as I close my eyes
Was that all there was to this?
What's for the best?
Liar - The Arcadian Wild
Nureyev thinking there's nothing waiting underneath all his aliases and lies. Is there even a person there?
I am the host of this hostility
I’m the master magician that makes you believe
I’m real, I’m not fake, but in reality I’m a lying man
My life’s become this grand game of deception
My mind’s ignored all my heart’s good intentions
We all feel this tension
We all have our own illusions
Broken Boy - Cage the Elephant
Nureyev!!!! Nureyev the Brahman child. Trying to grow past it but he's always going to be Peter Nureyev the Brahman child.
I was born on the wrong side of the train tracks
I was raised with a strap across my back
Lay me on my side or hold me up to the light, yeah
I was burned by the cold kiss of a vampire
I was bit by the whisper of a soft liar
Any good friend of yours is a good friend of mine
Broken boy, how does it feel?
Broken boy, how does it feel? How does it feel?
Tell me why I'm forced to live in this skin
Tell me why I’m forced to live in this skin
I'm an alien, I'm just an alien, oh
Tell me why I was born to live in this skin
Tell me how I’m supposed to be forgiven
With my hand in the hive and the sun in my eyes, yeah
Chapter 6 Many Mistakes (feat. Jaye Prime) - Jax Anderson
Both Juno and Nureyev have always caused problems for one another and thinking it over, even as they commit to their mistakes.
Late night thinkin 'bout many mistakes
I never meant to hurt you
Late night problems come and I can't escape
I never meant to hurt you
Late night wishin' I'd run away
I never meant to hurt you
Late night problems come and I can't escape
I never meant to hurt you
Scene One - James Dean & Audrey Hepburn - Sleeping With Sirens
Season 1 Nureyev, Season 5 Juno, Season 3 them together.
How the hell did you ever pick me?
Honestly, cause I could sing you a song
But I don't think words can express your beauty
It's singing to me
How the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me
I fell in love from the moment we kissed
Since then we've been history
They say that love is forever
Your forever is all that I need
Please stay as long as you need
Can't promise that things won't be broken
But I swear that I will never leave
Please stay forever with me
The Moon Will Sing - The Crane Wives
Regrets and desires.
All those empty rooms
We could have been anywhere, anywhere else
Instead I made a bed with apathy
My heart knew the weight
Ten years worth of dust and neglect
We made our peace with weariness
And let it be
Extrasolar - Baths
Juno's moral core, Nureyev's dedication to a promise he's made. Broken by who they are and also literally running off world!
Get offworld, get extrasolar
Boot the motor, we've got time to waste
(In every blot of space)
Our goodwill is gonna kill us
But come what may, we're on our way
(Intrepid and unphased)
Into the Storm - BANNERS
Nureyev who will always chase after Juno!!!!
So violently
Held captive by your gravity
Hold your breath and wait for me
Where the wind may blow
Through light and dark
And fantasies that fall apart
Know you're always in my heart
Anywhere you go
First Love / Late Spring - Mitski
Nureyev who had to learn to be mature so young, and now he's emotionally stunted!
And I was so young when I behaved twenty-five
Yet now, I find I've grown into a tall child
And I don't wanna go home yet
Let me walk to the top of the big night sky
Francis Forever - Mitski
Nureyev who has to prove himself to anyone whose approval he's ever valued. Mag, Juno, Vespa, Buddy!!
I don't need the world to see
That I've been the best I can be, but
I don't think I could stand to be
Where you don't see me
Starlight - Muse
They're in love, your honor.
Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die
Starlight I will be chasing a starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore
Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms
My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive
I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away
Mercury - Sleeping At Last
Nureyev thinking that Juno is the most precious thing. Even more than Slip or even more than his name!! They're in love.
I know the further I go
The harder I try, only keeps my eyes closed
And somehow I've fallen in love
With this middle ground at the cost of my soul
Yet I know, if I stepped aside
Released the controls, you would open my eyes
That somehow, all of this mess
Is just my attempt to know the worth of my life
Pretty Little Things - The Crane Wives
I don't think I need to argue this. It's so.
I cut straight to the heart
I don't believe the pretty little things that you say
I've heard a lot of little pretty things
Don't buy me flowers
It pains me to watch pretty little things wilt away
Pretty little things wilt away
Pretty little things wilt away
Hey Brother - Avicii
Benten and Juno!! Bentenbentenbenten.
(Also Steliana and Nureyev if you're a deep V lore follower.)
What if I'm far from home?
Oh brother, I will hear you call
What if I lose it all?
Oh sister, I will help you out
Oh, if the sky comes falling down
For you, there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do
Twin Skeleton's (Hotel In NYC) - Fall Out Boy
Both Juno and Nureyev trying to fill the emptiness of their past.
Keep making trouble 'til you find what you love
I need a new partner in crime and you, you shrug that
There's a room in a hotel in New York City
That shares our fate and deserves our pity
I don't want to remember it all
The promises I made if you just hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Ruin - The Amazing Devil
They ruin one another in the best fucking way. And being left alone? Remembering their time together.
Because brick by brick you built us
And I'd fill in the cracks
Nothing quite prepares you for
When they don't come back
I wish I'd done things different
I wish that I'd been brave
I wish I'd known these stones were something I could save
Metaphor - The Crane Wives
Nureyev who thinks he's only a liar and is better at loving dead people than alive people.
I keep my closet free of skeletons
'Cause I'm much better at digging graves
But I always dig up bones in your sympathy
I can't trust a single thing you say
Brother - Kodaline
Benten and Juno and what could've been with them. Ride or die.
(Also Steliana and Nureyev. Don't @ me.)
We're living different lives
Heaven only knows
If we'll make it back with all our fingers and our toes
Five years, twenty years, come back
It will always be the same, oh-oh, oh-oh
If I was dying on my knees
You would be the one to rescue me
And if you were drowned at sea
I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe
A Message - Coldplay
S1/S5 parallel feels.
Your heavy heart
Is made of stone
And it's so hard to see you clearly
You don't have to be on your own
You don't have to be on your own
And I'm not gonna take it back
And I'm not gonna say I don't mean that
You're the target that I'm aiming at
Can I get that message home?
Fool & The Thief - THE HARA
Nureyev thinks he's a fool! He's stealing things, he's stealing time, he's foolish for loving.
The smile don't mean I'm fine
It's just my disguise
Laugh through gritted teeth
Good at faking that I'm fine
The mirror that I speak to
Has a thousand eyes
I get all the attention but they don't know the truth
Imposter in my heavy head tells me what to do
This 2am anxiety
Pumps a hole straight through my chest
Honey and Glass - Peyton Cardoza
How Nureyev sees Juno. They're in love your honor.
And she's dancing in the rain with her clothes on
Drenched to the bone, never knows when she´s all gone
But she's the life of the party and deep down I know
That nobody flinches when she takes off her clothes
And I wonder what's it like to be one of those girls
To sit in the sun, and look at the world and never think
"Wow, am I enough"
Becoming the Lastnames - Will Wood
Domesticity arc. Espeeeecially in my belief that Nureyev dreams of it. Also Juno allowing himself to want it?
I'm not sure yet myself, but I learned from a good father
Yeah, I mean, sure, they messed me up, but I think that's just the gig
And maybe it's just some hormones that kick in in your late twenties
But I have laid a lot of women, and now I'd like to just lay down
And marriage always scared me, but I'd like to have a last love
And love can last a pretty good long while, yeah, I've seen it around
But if we grow old together, will you talk to my headstone?
That is, assuming that I die first (which is fair) and assuming I don't leave
Close enough to forever, I guess, to prove what I hope
I mean, otherwise, how am I to believe?
Shiver - Mike Waters
Nureyev who was willing to give away everything for Juno and Juno still left him. He probably thinks about that a lot in the next year.
But I don’t need excuses
And I don’t need your love
And I’m a little dumb
And I’m a little stupid for speaking from my heart
And I’m a little numb 'cause I could hear your footsteps
When you left last night
Foolish Believer - Broadside
Nureyev who thinks he's not whole but that Juno can somehow fill that for him. He needs to do the work later. Get your character development arc bro.
I can't shake the feeling
All the world is just a stage
And everybody's acting
Hoping that the crowd will numb the pain
So here goes another line from a fading light
I need your love 'cause I've sold all mine
Don't walk away
#mine#v.txt#since it's not really a creative project like i usually do but it did require work#but it's also just me being funny silly#i am extremely mentally healthy about juno steel and peter nureyev do not listen to anyone who tells you otherwise
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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS
i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas
SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.
warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot
officer!daichi
we are: vigilante/troublemaker
loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much
nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins
u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl
He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date
but let’s talk about before yall got together
he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall
bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u
HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???
you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close
and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty
and this would continue for a while
but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase
some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow
he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it
and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u
he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore
and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.
yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING
it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)
he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love
u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses
u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)
u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u
u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street
but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.
unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things
after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)
THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA
but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”
PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time
u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass
bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there
even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment
but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others
and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*
his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)
the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3
u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera
he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it
daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333
IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP
bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)
daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-
in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY
househusband!oikawa
we are: girlboss sugar mommy
somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife
and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant
IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.
sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it
his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”
please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding
when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.
only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long
yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo
he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking
probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”
8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house
he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min
please find him a hobby
crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering
like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies
please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way
does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention
speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment
don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”
one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”
ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”
So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.
“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”
u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it
tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it
Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”
bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified
beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny
also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm
but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)
now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine
you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi
ceo!kuroo
we are: secretary
bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours
but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break
one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”
flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE
but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more
HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though
will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM
he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare
RIP janet from accounting
that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again
it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you
bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention
*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”
but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank
and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.
once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you
def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again
prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention
maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile
he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)
sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever
you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you
he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!
never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you
but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)
bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH
brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too
no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH
BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”
it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”
yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u
KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u
he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf
but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3
also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him
it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333
you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced
HES the one who has a crush on you
you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss
he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp
offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him
bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-
he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love
probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd
in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank
dog hybrid!bokuto
we are: owner
Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333
OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT
he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him
please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs
he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!
the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy
HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3
soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob
the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY
he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u
destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent
tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS
loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua
gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!
ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head
which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other
so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention
If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic
but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it
u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!
def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back
“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”
doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth
doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it
speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word
SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING
u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips
big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out
he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud
hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now
we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet
HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away
and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants
he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him
knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon
he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better
he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious
in other words i love doggy bokuto
pirate!ushijima
we are: kidnapped
ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa
just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)
thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt
so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon
but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable
he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333
he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading
but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it
you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea
mf made them walk the plank
you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean
he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure
speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for
“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”
bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened
hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf
equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors
U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)
oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP
it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333
“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES
HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT
tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”
“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”
he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF
HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY
but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”
but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe
sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u
oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)
they are given orders to protect u at all costs
speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns
almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him
he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff
ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-
he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more
is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??
he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333
no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man
whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages
speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away
wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant
bruh so powerful he walks on water
second coming of christ who
IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it
legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle
speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous
“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST
he’s got good intentions...i think…
but everyone literally knows he would dive after you
in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard
mafia leader!kita
we are: associate from different group/family
kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families
so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit
arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3
nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two
POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader
RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM
he owns the majority of the underground casinos
and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.
you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most
prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune
when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere
u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone
before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that
his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u
they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them
but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you
so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou
and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history
he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him
until they bribe him at just the right price
and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them
oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much
one time you were kidnapped and held hostage
bro saw red
MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH
he got world record time
wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that
and of course, made sure you were safe.
yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...
is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go
“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE
makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster
and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)
and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY
absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”
makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you
he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS
takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work
meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you
he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3
the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...
in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita
--
--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--
officer!daichi:
karasuno squadron consists of:
cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama
investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi
surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too
househusband!oikawa:
makki and mattsun are also househusbands
iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-
ceo!kuroo:
lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-
janet still a bitch
kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings
yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there
dog hybrid!bokuto:
kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did
kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.
hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned
i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.
pirate!ushijima:
tendou is practically is right hand man
the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-
BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.
mafia!kita:
the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.
suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.
aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards
a/n: im going to regret posting this
#haikyuu#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu x you#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu captains#daichi sawamura#oikawa toru#kuroo tetsuro#kita shinsuke#ushijima wakatoshi#bokuto kotaro#x reader
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