#oh and also he fucks people's wives. he's fun like that.
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soulless sam was at his best when he was still being written as a version of sam, to accentuate parts of him that normally get held back, and not as 'guess he's evil now'. soulless sam when he's reflecting sam's tendency to lose sight of everything else in pursuit of a goal. soulless sam when he's just kind of rude without thinking about it without his filter on. soulless sam when he's equal parts intent on keeping dean with him and also happy to lie to him and keep him shut out of the things he knows dean won't like so that dean won't leave. soulless sam when he equally recognizes that he is a better hunter now, and also that he probably can't continue to exist without his soul. (you know. before they went along with making him just kind of evil.)
...soulless sam when he's begging for literally anyone to acknowledge his autonomy in this situation and not force him to take his soul back without knowing how much it could damage him and being ignored.
#i have normal thoughts about this man#i love the soulless sam arc actually until it nosedives#i love how it gives us a new lens to examine sam through#i love that soulless sam isn't even really! malicious! he's just exactly what he says: a better hunter!#like the most Bad thing he does is inarguably dean vampire transformation#but id point out that. that gives us even more fascinating stuff to analyze about him#like for one. sam knows not only About the cure but about how dean can't drink blood for it to work. right?#so what can we deduce from this: 1) he is not arbitrarily risking his brother. he is making from his pov the most logical decisions to kill#the vamps they're after. and 2) soulless sam without a doubt believes that dean will resist drinking blood. because otherwise the cure won'#work on him. and you can say 'well he doesn't have a connection to dean because soulless reasons' but. i mean. that's false. clearly.#even if all it is is leftover feelings of responsibility towards dean and familiarity and knowing that dean's a good hunter.#that's still a connection! dean *does* matter to him! and soulless sam believes he wont go for blood. that dean can't.#(sidenote if dean did? i dont think soulless would have killed him. this is sam & dean we're talking about.#soul or not. vampire or not. sam is keeping him around.)#anyway the point of this is that soulless sam is both Very Simple to understand and Very Complex when you get into the details of it#but on the basic level he is just sam's drive to hunt unattached from morality. he is just a better hunter.#i like that characterization far better than 'he is evil and wants to do murder and bad things'#oh and also he fucks people's wives. he's fun like that.#soulless!sam#spn#sam winchester
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Shang Qinghua becomes the one person Binghe trusts with Shen Qingqiu when he has to be away from him because when asked (and he asks everyone) "what are your intentions with my Shizun" he caught Shang Qinghua sleep deprived and fed up and so he answered "Dunno. Probably to piss him off."
When asked the inevitable "are you in love with Shizun!" instead of the usual angry or hysterical denials that he never believes Shang Qinghua answered with a deadpan "ew. That's my bro. I'd rather vacation in the endless abyss."
And then Shang Qinghua wandered off muttering about how Mobei has much better tits anyway
He didn't bother to ask Mobei these questions because Mobei keeps making what he thinks are subtle digs about how HIS human is the superior one
Which would normally piss Binghe off for many reasons but it means that he knows for a fact his right hand man won't try to fuck his husband so he puts up with it
Sha Hualing he puts up with because he told her and Mobei about the other Luo Binghe and mentioned the harem they had this conversation:
Sha Hualing: If you're not gonna can I collect them?
Luo Binghe: you want a harem?
Sha Hualing: yeah but not that big. I only need like a hundred wives and husbands at most. Mostly I think it could be fun! Yingying and Yan-er tell me I need more girls who are friends and it sounds exciting!
Luo Binghe: as long as it doesn't distract you from your duties
Sha Hualing: *clapping her hands* Yay! I'm going to kidnap Yang Yixuan and tell him the good news! Oh! He can come with me! I'll take Yingying as well! She needs more practice fighting
Luo Binghe: how many people from Cang Qiong are you fucking?!
Sha Hualing: less than 20! But they all know and they all know my favourites! I made sure to cum-oo-n-e-cat after we sat through Peak Lord Mu's lesson on romancing humans
Mobei Jun: *who found that lesson both very helpful and very pointed* that's very conservative of you.
Sha Hualing: ikr? You and Junshang are rubbing off on me. Making me act all old fashioned and stuff though this human method of talking is really hard to get the hang of
Mobei Jun: mn. It is very necessary for their health but they also do not do the cum-oo-n-e-cat very well either. It's very strange.
Luo Binghe: it's communicate! And...I'm going to be with people who aren't you two for awhile
This got away from me
#svsss#luo binghe#shang qinghua#mobei jun#sha hualing#demon trio#not safe for esmes#mu qingfang after the dust settled and the ascension arc happened ask Luo Binghe to set up the lesson he gave on human relationships#he also gave the same lesson on human relationships to the peak lords#liu qingge says commuicate the same way the demons do
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- hi ! 💌,,
ISTG you’re writing is so well done and creative I had to contain myself from like spam!!
I hope you’re still taking request and if you’re not that’s totally cool, I’ll wait ‘till next round.
Adam reincarnates in hell and oh, would you look at that? the s/o is the only one trying to help and not making him feel worse that he already is. (i just need wholesome content, exam week is killing me rn).
AGAIN, love you’re writing thx for reading so far!
ᯓ★ Let's Give This Another Shot (and not fuck it up this time)
Sinner! Adam / Sinner! Reader | Drabble
‗ content / trigger warning: fluff, swearing, Adam being Adam, not proof read (we die like Adam)
‗ author's note: this is for everyone who's dealing with exam weeks, it sucks but I believe in all of you any you're going to kill those exams! (don't let them kill you!). Also thank you so much for the compliments Anon <3, I write for the people and myself, so I'm glad everyone is enjoying the crazy shit I've posted here!
ᯓ When you fall from grace, it's not a pleasant feeling; That Adam knew - or at least he thought he knew - well enough from hearing about Lucifer falling, hearing the horrific things the others whispered about it, mentioning it in passing before the thought disappeared and dispelled into the air as though Lucifer had never held a place in Heaven. As though he was nothing that what he was now, demonic figure that wore a crown made out of skeletons and bones fashioned to mimic horns.
Adam never cared about the stories that were whispered, about the horrors he sometimes heard through passing, about Sera recalling how she heard Lucifer scream on the way down, about how Michael watched with horror as Lucifer tried to shield Lilith and himself, about how Gabriel heard his pleads and couldn't do anything; No one could save him from the fate that had been weighed on his shoulders as soon as he had fed the apple to Eve.
And partly it was because Adam blamed Lucifer for ruining his paradise, for infecting the mind of both his (ex) wives and causing him grief and pain. Dying alone is almost just as unpleasant as falling from grace; almost.
ᯓ You see, while Adam had died alone on Earth, at least his soul went to somewhere pleasant and he was able to continue living; To make a name for himself and, he guessed, make some friends and live a rather worriless and carefree life in the clouds. He was able to have fun, rock out, and be known as the first human soul ever being able to reach Heaven - that was something not even Eve managed to do, and he took it with pride! It was his title. It was partly who he was. Maybe it was all he was.
That much became more clear to him when he found himself waking up in Hell again, the stabbing pain of a dagger striking his back still their along with the weight of his wings. At first, he had thought he managed to survive the assassination attempt, that Lute had just left him in Hell on accident or because she thought he was dead. It caused some sort of pride to well in his chest, a flame that sparked his need to go boost and scream at the top of his lungs - he had survived an angelic weapon!
He was immune! He was the strongest angel there was, because Sera would totally fall and die in a sad crumble after being stabbed with angelic metal! He was . . .
ᯓ And that's when Adam happened to pass by a mirror, or well more of a reflective glass on the street of Hell (as he walked, not questioning the odd ball looks he got), and that's when he saw it; What looked like a stranger to be staring back at him, engulfing and taking over his reflection like they owned it, like it was there own. That wasn't him! Well, it looked like him, he could admit that, but it wasn't as sexy or as handsome as him!
The reflection would copy his movement, snarling as he did and grinning all the same. With his same fluffed up hair and piercing eyes, the reflection wore no mask yet still held the horns of his all the same; Even the way they slowly curled back before dipping down, forming and L for the gold spikes to rest at the end. The reflection wore his exterminator uniform, yet it was the darker version with the yellow having somehow been dulled and deepened and faded out all at once. His wings were still golden, still tucking at his sides from under his arms all the same, though there was no halo to accompany them this time.
And Adam almost wanted to laugh, maybe it was hysteria or maybe it was disbelief, yet he watched to cry and laugh and break the glass all at once; Denying that this was his fate, being unable to stomach that he, First Man Adam, was not only double dead yet in hell.
Hell! The first man cannot be in hell, he had created everyone on Earth; All of them came from his nuts and in turn all of them should be praising the fucking land he walked on because if it wasn't for him he wouldn't be here!
ᯓ And yet the Reflection looked back all the same, teasing him with a distorted grin; Like it could feel his distress in the way he curled his fist, pulling back before he slammed it against the glass. It gave a crack, a small one at first, before completely shattering. Adam could care less what shop or business had that glass, he could care less how he effected them or how he was going to be painted in Hell, because this was some crazy mistake! He was not supposed to be down here and he was not going to stand for some stupid mistake that happened because some small crazy bitch decided to back-stab him! Literally!
And yet, if Adam wanted any of the answers he so desperately craved, he would have to suck in some of his pride and trudge along to the damn Hotel and talk to the residence who had taken his life. It would take him a while before he accepted such a fate, taking the chance between deciding and doing to walk along the Pride Ring before stumbling into the wrong town and being chased out by crazy demons who wanted to bite him! Maybe even eat him . . . What crazy place is this?!
ᯓ When Adam had begrudging and reluctantly knocked on the new Hotel door, which he would never admit to stopping and marveling at for a second, he would feel that ever irritating dread weigh in his stomach. Who wouldn't feel such a feeling after coming to the front door of a group of people you had tried to exterminate only, Adam didn't know how long, prior! Maybe, silently, somewhere inside Adam knew if he were in their shoes, having faced what they had, he wouldn't accept him either; He would throw him to the curb. Yet, he didn't exactly like that thought, and it wasn't very on brand, so he shoved it down and away and deep until all the could think about is:
How in the hell would they not accept me? I'm Adam, I'm the first man!
And yet when the door opened, allowing Adam to come face to face with none other than Vaggie, he felt that dread creep in a little. But, not enough to stop him from greeting Vaggie in a less that desirable way, "What's up Vagasaurus?" The sneering comment left his mouth, "I love what you did with the place. You know, it looks slightly less like a destroyed pile of Sh-" Yet the door would only slam in his face before Adam could finish his thoughts or his words; Leaving him standing outside, a tad awkwardly, waiting for the doors to open again.
He, also, would never admit giving a glance behind him, making sure no one was standing there to watch him standing in front of the doors.
ᯓ "Vaggie, who was that?" Charlie would call to her girlfriend as she walked away from the door, coming towards where Charlie sat on the floor organizing new activities that everyone could do. All while Nifty rushed around nearby, cleaning Sir Pentious' and Dazzle's memorials in the new Hazbin Hotel. She muttered to herself quietly, not bothering Angel and Husk, who sat at the bar.
"No one important." Vaggie would mumble, not being able to catch her tone before it could reveal that it was someone less than desirable. Possibly another sinner choosing a path of redemption after the last extermination!
Which the thought caused Charlie to gain a burst of energy, barreling onto her feet so quickly that she knocked around the carefully organized slits of paper on the floor. Vaggie tried to protest, saying it was truly no one at the door and Charlie should just leave it alone! But she was never a really good lair, "Oh calm down Vaggie, I'm sure it's no one bad!" Charlie would grin with a wave, her hand touching the crisp and cool metal of the door handle before swinging the door back open. "Hi, welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! How can I-"
And yet her words fell flat as soon as her eyes were locked onto Adam's - who quickly spun around, pretending like he hadn't just been looking behind him - and was also welcomed by his light groan of annoyance. "Oh fuck me."
". . . help you." Charlie's voice flattened, dropping as her eyes widened. You know, she's never felt this shocked to see someone at the steps of the Hotel before since Alastor had came along without warning.
ᯓ "Adam?!"
ᯓ "BITCH CAN YOU NOT SHOUT MY NAME?!" Was the next words that were exclaimed out of the ex-angel, the now outcast, as he seemed rather eager to push Charlie inside of her own Hotel and walk in after; Quickly shutting the door as though there was someone outside waiting and stalking him, watching him with all their attention.
"Hey no, you cannot just let yourself in here this isn't Heaven!" Vaggie was swift to march her way over to the two, seeing as Charlie wasn't doing anything to discard of Adam she might as well do it herself! No way was she going to let some two-timing exorcist angel not only push her girlfriend around yet also push his way into the hotel.
Who did he think he is? And yet Charlie waved out a hand, stopping Vaggie in her tracks. There was confusion, and the two at the bar would turn their heads, before scowling seeing the fallen angel. Adam was sure he could hear Angel's accented voice loud and clear shouting out, 'oh what the fuck is this bullshit!' before Charlie began to talk to him again in a rushed fashion; One he remembered quite well during the meeting that Lucifer subbed her in for instead of coming to it himself, and he was still annoyed by her voice.
"What are you doing down here? I thought you-! You know . . . " Charlie rushed out, trying to make it quick as though the others at the hotel would jump and kill Adam again with no remorse, finishing the job that clearly didn't stay permeant the first time; And, honestly, Adam wouldn't put it above anyone here to do that.
Adam, who had been picking at his teeth with his pinkie finger, would turn away from Charlie and shrug his shoulders, "Yeah, well, I fuckin' did and ended up down here for some fucking reason, probably a mistake and mix up of souls. I'm sure you have plenty of those down here, pft!- I mean who else would want to stay in this charity case!-"
"We're not entertaining you Adam!" Vaggie would cut off the ex-angel, causing his interest to peak over at her. Though he relaxed quickly enough, maybe too quickly seeing as Vaggie had drown out her own weapon and that . . . nasty little creature stood beside her with the dagger made out of angelic metal; Now that little one-eyed demon could give Adam the creeps, maybe even a little (lot) fright, but not Vaggie.
"You know, I thought were all trying to redeem souls in this junk box of yours." Adam scoffed, quickly crossing his arms with a tilt of his head. "Are you fucking discriminating against me wanting to return to where I rightfully belong just because I was an angel before this? Wow, that's a low blow, especially for someone light you." Adam's voice dripped with sarcasm mixed with malice, maybe even still a little pride.
"You literally tried killing up like- 2 weeks ago!" Vaggie would gesture to the side, as though trying to compare time to the length of her arm.
"Oh shit it's been too weeks?" Adam paused, thinking about it yet drawing a blank and shrugging in result, "Shit, didn't know, pft! That shit must still be fresh for you then, huh? Well, let me remind you all that you weren't the ones who DIED!-"
ᯓ "Adam?" Your voice would slip out into the common space of the lobby of the hotel, honey sweat to Adam's ears; Filling them with a melody that could match the songs of Heaven, running down his spine with the comfort he didn't know he needed until now. But even then, you knew he wouldn't break his 'tough man' exterior until you managed to snag him along, away from the prying eyes of everyone else.
"Holy shit, hey Babe!" Adam was quick, rushing past and slightly pushing Charlie out of his way to make his way over to you, over to his love. "What the fuck are you doing in a dumb like this? I thought you said you had your own fucking spot near Cannibal Town!" - It had been the only reason why he had tried traveling to that cursed town, even while knowing its residents might try and take a bite out of him or his wings. He craved for the familiarity of someone in this new world, as he had never felt this vulnerable since his first days on Eden; Earth. God's Earth.
"Babe?" A chorus of confused, slightly concerned, and baffled voices followed as Adam came to your side, swinging an arm around your waist and instantly drawing you closer. You swore he was fighting off the urge to flick off the others, a casual fuck you for trying to push him off and out.
You could feel their eyes as you leaned up to pepper a kiss into Adam's shoulder, to which he squeezed your waist slightly tighter, adorning a snicker upon his face.
"Wait, wait!-" Vaggie started, taking a staggering step forward as her arms laid limp besides her. One of her eyebrows were cocked up, her eyes narrow, "What do you mean Babe?" Your name left her lips, "Don't tell me you're dating that fucker!" She would soon exclaim, tossing her hands out as they finally regained the life they had lost. To which you would turn towards her confused, and then remember oh yeah . . . the battle.
The one you hadn't been present for though heard about through Channel 666 News; In all honesty it's why you had came here, to the Hotel, to see if you could try and get to Heaven and find Adam again - praying he didn't actually die but was taken back to Heaven to heal or was revived in some way.
"Uh, yeah. Adam's my boyfriend-" You would start with a wavering smile, nerves tugging at the edge of your lips.
"Oh, this couldn't have gotten worse." Angel would groan, slamming his head down onto the bar countertop, acting like a disappointed parent; Silently telling you that you could have done better.
To which you placed a hand on your hip, about to tell Angel off, only to be cut off by Husk tsking and shaking his head, "I would not put you as an Angel and sexist fucker, but whatever rows your boat." His tone came off dry, uninterested, and a little hostile. And with Charlie's silence, you couldn't help but feel the weight of everyone's words a little heavier.
ᯓ And Adam noticed that, with one glance down at you and your face, his wings would flare defensively and his glare was snapped back at the other demons. He couldn't care less that they had been talking shit about him, he couldn't care less on how they saw him or the reasons they thought you could do better than him; They shouldn't care about whether or not someone was out of their friend's league if they were clearly happy with the person! That, Adam knew - or maybe he believed it more.
"Hey, what your fucking mouths!-" He would start, trying to draw you away from the others. Sure, he was no longer an Angel, but he was sure as hell he could take any of them in a fight anyways! And yet, his anger was snuffed like a candle as soon as you placed your hand on his chest, gently pushing in and pushing him back.
The breath of ire was caught in his throat, not even being able to reach his lungs, as he glanced down at you, noticing the spark that you had seemingly stolen right out of his chest and placed in your eyes. He knew your reservations of fighting with friends, or with anyone in general, so he couldn't help but feel pride swell up in his chest watching you stand up for yourself, for you and him:
"I will not let you speak about me, nor Adam that way!" You defended, shooting a star through your eyelashes that the group; Who seemed just as taken aback as Adam had been before the warmth spread from his chest.
Vaggie would scrunch her face, much more concerned that irritated or disappointed, but also all of that at the same time. Your name slipped from her lips, "You can't be serious! He's . . ." She stumbled for a moment, trying to grasp her words, "He's led genocides on Sinners all over Hell! He's like really gross and he doesn't respect people. He's a douche and a dick!-"
"Dick master," Adam would correct Vaggie just to piss her off, earning a slight jag in the gut from you and a snarl from Vaggie.
Vaggie, who, tossed out her hands once more, yet pointed at Adam this time, "See what I mean?!"
ᯓ "And tell me how you felt when you first lost your divinity?"
ᯓ The question lingered in the room, drifting and sticking in the air, as Vaggie stared at you with disbelief; Her mouth slightly open, her eyes wide, and her stance rigid. You noticed how Charlie grew nervous behind her, how she seemed rather uncomfortable in the atmosphere that been created in the room since Adam had arrived than you. She would place a hand on Vaggie's shoulders, attempting to comfort her, yet failed to pick out any words to say in response.
"It's hard enough to leave somewhere you've called home," You would continue, frowning, "To be tossed out like you had meant nothing, like one mistake had deemed you unworthy despite everything great you have done in your life. Vaggie! . . . out of everyone, I would have thought at least you would understand something like that." Seeing as she had gone through the same process herself, yet had always had Charlie there by her side to walk through everything with.
Was she implying that Adam didn't deserve the same because of what he had done? Sure it was crude and cruel, but everyone deserved another chance to mistake their wrongs and that was what this hotel was about; And you voiced such concerns to not just Vaggie but to Charlie as well. What makes Adam so much different from Lucifer, or say another Fallen Angel that managed to wind up down here? What makes him less worthy to be redeemed? What made him less of a human soul as say Angel or Alastor? Everyone fucks up in their life and as long as they're trying to better themselves, understanding what they did wrong and why it was wrong, they should be given a chance!
ᯓ It wasn't long before Charlie said that everyone should take a break, and as such you would lead Adam away from the crowd of people and up to your own room in the Hotel. You could feel Vaggie's eyes linger, you felt like she wanted to say something yet let her words fall short before they were ever given a chance. But, even if they had, you were too pent up to even discuss anything logically with her at the moment. And you think she could feel or at least tell and that's why her words fell short, yet you would never know - you're not Vaggie nor would you ever think like she does.
ᯓ You and Adam found yourselves in your bed after settling some matters, such as a change of clothing for him and whether or not you wanted to try and make the trip back to your apartment today; Luckily you had some of Adam's old T-shirts and joggers you had stolen from him from one of the few trips where Adam had snuck you into Heaven - and yet on the same note, either of you felt like going downstairs to face anyone to leave to your apartment. So, with not much to do, you set the TV on as background noise and brain fuzz as you snuggled up to Adam's side.
You felt as his claws, at first, scratched gently at his side, pairing with a kiss on the forehead, and then they began to tap the flesh there; Like you were some little drum that made no noise, yet Adam continued until he switched to rubbing his thumb against your hip.
"What's wrong, Adam?" Concern dripped from your lips, forcing Adam to draw his eyes away from the mindless television and down to meet you, and your eyes. He had known your attention had been up at him for a while, at first admiring his face (as you didn't get to see it much) yet it had shifted to concern the more he played with the plush flesh of your waist. He wondered if you could tell he was nervous from the start.
Adam's eyes would falter and glance off to TV again, his words causing a lump in his throat as he tried to play through them; Trying to find the best combination to spew out instead of talking without thinking - vomiting whatever first came to mind and not thinking about it later.
And maybe you could tell the trepidations that filled his head too; Seeing as you shifted your position from his side, pushing yourself up, and instead onto his lap, effectively blocking his vision of the television. Your hands rested on his chest, something so natural at this point yet something that still caused Adam's lungs to halt for a minute and for his stomach to flutter. Even so, he would give you a curious glance up and down, trancing the curves of your body with his eyes as he has done countless times before - yet every time, you managed to take his breath away.
"If you wanted to fuck, babe, you could have just said so!" The snarky remark left his lips, meeting your amused yet disapproving face.
He knew that's not what you wanted, yet he couldn't help but entertain yourself when you were basically straddling his waist; As such, his fingers would drag along the calf of your leg before his hands would trail up your thighs before tailing back down and up once more. He saw the flutter in your breath, yet you tried to keep your composure. Even if Adam was making it ever so hard.
ᯓ "Adam," You would start, your tone causing Adam to stop caressing your thighs. It stuck his eyes to yours, and he couldn't look away no matter how much his nerves pulled at him to. "I want you to know, no matter what happens . . . I'm here for you, okay? We're in this together.
You're not a solo act anymore, we're a duet . . . or, well, more a duo act." Your words sunk down into Adam's skin, they infected through his lungs and ran to his heart before infecting all his blood and his veins. His hands, which had ran up to hold your waist, gave a gentle squeeze as he swallowed down the saliva that built up in his suddenly dry mouth. A duo act? Sure, he knew you two were dating, that you had been for a while, yet even then he had a silent thought in the back of his head that you would leave him, much like the others; So he never considered himself no more than what he had:
A soloist. First Man Adam! . . . but now he was able to add being 'Yours' to his list with some sort of fire-like confidence; Burning and bright.
It made his heart catch fire, even more so when you would stretch out lightly and lean down to lay down on his chest; Your warmth infecting all of him you touched, allowing his arms to wrap around your back and for his wings to fluff out and wrap around your frame. It was like he wanted to shield you from the world, shield you from Heaven, shield you from everyone and anything that wanted to hurt you. Sure he had the urge before, but now? . . .
"You heard that big man?" Your voice broke through his thoughts, your teasing smirk had him fighting for a breath. You would playfully nudge his shoulder, "You're stuck with me, I'm stuck with you're, we're stuck together so you better be getting used to it! I'll fight for you, you fight for me, and we'll get back to that stupid place that outcasted you in the first place!" But he would like to stay here, with you, forever. "And we'll show Charlie and Vaggie that it can be done and that even if you fucked up you have a good heart in you! . . . Because I know you do under all the gunk." And your laughter had never sounded so sweet, and you touch has never felt so soft and loving.
ᯓ A duo act, huh? With you? Adam could get used to and stand behind that thought; Perhaps, even after all this time, he wanted nothing more than to hear those words, or well the meaning of those words, from your mouth since the start.
ᯓ But even then, with the emotions that swelled Adam's heart with nothing but pure love, he couldn't help but nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck. Your scent filled his nose with a warmth he missed, the soft skin of your neck flushed against his smirking lips, a feeling he longed for and couldn't forget. You were perfect, you always had been!
"Fuck, Babe, when you say pretty shit like that, it's hard not to fuck you right here and now." Adam would groan before a loud cackle left his lips as soon as you smacked his back. All too used to his ways, you couldn't do much yet shake your head against Adam's shoulder, like a parent scolding their child for saying something offensive.
"You ruined the mood Adam!" The huff escaped your lips, it hit Adam's neck and made goosebumps spring up his arms. "Again!"
And yet, you didn't protest as Adam tossed you both into your sides with a fever, still cackling as though this was the funniest joke in the world - and you couldn't deny, you loved the sound of his laughter so much. Even as his stubble would tickle your neck as he did so, causing you to start laughing soon after and trying to push his head away from your neck.
"Adam! Oh my god, Adam stop that tickles!" You gasped between breaths, struggling to push your boyfriend away as he found joy in your lighthearted misery.
Though he would only curl around your frame, not answering your desperate calls of a truce and a stop, and trap you in his arms and wings with no remorse. "You're stuck with me Babe, you said it yourself! Now come here, let me kiss that pretty fucking face of yours until you can't breath!"
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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 1.4
Oh, John. It's hard because I'm like “fame was not good for that man” but I'm also like “he would've gone crazy with self-loathing if he didn't have the fame.”
John and Paul start to answer a question at the same time. John: no, go on, you can say it. They're seriously so married.
John's schoolboy flirting is cute, but what's more noteworthy to me is a) how happy Paul is to be shoved and b) how he instantly leans back into John. It's like they're bungeed together or something.
John gets me. Look how much he loves Paul bringing out the forced confidence shield to protect him. He's so in love. So turned on.
Here's my question about the death threats. Did the other Beatles actually receive them and tell Brian about them and keep them from John? Because that would be incredibly sweet and noble of them, but also, in that case, surely John received death threats too. Meaning he just didn't care about his own life and assumed the others were being left out of it because they hadn't actually said they were bigger than Jesus. Or did they have people filtering all their mail by that point? And Brian had been keeping the death threats from all of them? Because that could be interpreted as both protective and selfish of him. Does anyone know?
Again. I just love how Paul goes to bat for John over and over during this tour. Batting his eyes and playing with his hair and shouting down any and all criticism of John speaking his mind.
This moment is so telling to me. An interviewer who was up front at several concerts points out the looks and smiles between John and Paul which you can only see from the front and asks, “is it really that much fun every time?” The easy answer is, “Yeah. We like what we do. It's fun!” But Paul gets cagey. “Oh well the thing is you know with things like that it's probably…” and he makes up a bullshit story about messing up on a song they haven't performed in a year. Why do that if you don't have something to hide? (Even if you're subconsciously hiding) That right there is a tip-off for me that they're not normal about each other.
Interviewer: are you guys breaking up? John, immediately and emphatically: No. Paul: "Depends what you mean by breaking up, you know . . . Because we can't go on forever like this, so we've got to think now and prepare for, you know, if it did happen. The time has come for us to break up, but we've realized the possibility . . . Of breaking up as a natural progression." Literally shut the fuck up right now, you're going to give John an aneurysm.
I understand. I know. I don't relate to Paul much but I do relate to his hyperactivity and his avoidant attachment. I make sure constantly that I'll be okay when all my relationships end. But you don't talk about that in front of the other person. Especially someone like John whose worst fear is being left. Come on. Think.
See, now look what you did, Paul. Here's John's answer the next time they're asked about breaking up.
And yeah, the klan being the ones to “stand up against the Beatles blasphemy” really proves my point from the last post I think. It's just masked racism.
It actually seems like Paul's more vocally political at this point in time than John is. I wonder what happened to change that? Was it just the influence of their respective wives? Was it just easier for them to play up the roles they'd been assigned for the most part?
Okay on this round of “are you breaking up” they look at each other first before they answer and then Paul goes “all together probably.” I wonder if they talked about their previous answers together and admitted – however cautiously or however veiled – that hearing the other say they might leave hadn't been fun. Who knows, honestly.
Paul and John often talk about making a radio show together apparently. Gosh if only they could've done that now. I'd make them my token white boy podcast. It'd be great. They'd be so lame and so adorable and they'd talk about recipes and politics and they'd gossip and rank other people's music. But anyway, what really gets me is the often bit. So they really did plan their post-beatle future together. Enough that it was a frequent topic of discussion between them. They planned to be together forever.
Ugh it always guts me that Paul brought a girlfriend to Paris with him to meet up with John.
Okay my tin hat is glued to my head for this but. But. Hear me out alright? So John starts filming on 09/19/66. He's there for 6 &½ weeks. Putting the end at the beginning of November, right when Paul goes in disguise and alone to Paris. Do we have tabs on John for those dates? John just talked about going around Paris in disguise. What if they met up by themselves and in secret? What then?
No fucking wonder John was exhausted with him. Damn. He takes a month and a half to write strawberry fields, shows it to Paul, then...
Interviewer: the songwriting team will keep going whatever happens will it? John: yeah, we'll probably carry on writing music Forever. It's just so ‘Obviously. Might as well ask me if the sun's going to come up tomorrow.’
His friend – try dangerous drugs with and take home to daddy type “friend” – just died brutally and suddenly two days ago, and this is what he looks like and talks like and he's going in to work like it's nothing. I just. Compare that to John talking about Brian's death? Obviously two very different relationships but still… Paul's upbringing really fucked him up so hard. He thinks he's not allowed to be human. What can I say? It's a drag.
AKA the happiest 6 months of John and Paul's lives.
I find it fascinating that Paul alone is asked to compose and record what would eventually become the carnival of light and that he just went ahead and included everyone in that. Really makes me wonder if he got a vibe off John that him doing the family way alone was hurtful or if they maybe even talked about it? Or maybe he just didn't like doing the family way without John.
Actually quite a lovely, forward-thinking, humble speech. Imagine being John, though. Watching that from home like “why the fuck is he philosophizing to the world without me?” Because you know John shares all those sentiments and might even have got there first. It would be infuriating.
“A lucky man who made the grade” is an interesting way to describe Tara and I can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with Tara being cool enough for Paul to associate with him. And Paul is many things but stupid is not one of them. He's going to at the very least wonder if this verse is about John laughing at his friend's death. Right? Like I know Paul's the repression CEO but seriously I don't think even he is that good.
Maybe that Leopold and Leob quote isn't just about tearing people down verbally. Maybe Wooler genuinely got a vibe of a sense of superiority and therefore lack of empathy with Lennon/McCartney.
I mean he really does sound like he's describing sex though, doesn't he? Emotional, loving, romantic sex. Followed immediately by Paul's “I'd love to turn you on” lyrics and the “down with pants” and “sword swallower” pins. Alrighty then.
What I would call my Beatles bio after watching this. "They Touched Dicks: The Only Logical Conclusion."
#paul mccartney#the beatles#john lennon#mclennon#ringo starr#george harrison#understanding lennon mccartney#ulm
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peddling svsss (spoilers abound)
lovingthatofficeyfeel: ok. Now try to sell me on SVSSS because I read the summary and go 'nope, nope, nope icky power dynamics do not want, nooooope' because if it is not that I am also amenable (Book summary: "Half-demon Luo Binghe rose from humble beginnings and a tortured past to become unrivaled in strength and beauty. With his harem of over three hundred wives, and dominion over both the human and demonic realms, he is truly the most powerful protagonist—in a trashy web novel series!
At least, that's what Shen Yuan, online alias "Peerless Cucumber," believes as he finishes reading the final chapter in Proud Immortal Demon Way. But when a combination of rage and a poor meal choice leads to his death, Shen Yuan finds himself reborn into the world of the web novel, in the body of Shen Qingqiu—the beautiful but cruel teacher to a young Luo Binghe.
Although as Shen Qingqiu, he now has incredible power and abilities as a cultivator, he’s destined to be horrifically punished for crimes against the protagonist, so this new Shen Qingqiu has only one course of action: get into Luo Binghe’s good graces before the young man’s rise to power. That’s the only way he’ll escape the awful fate of a true scum villain!")
lovingthatofficeyfeel: ^ like based on that summary, I would never read that light novel on my own
Askerian: oh man yeah it makes it sound like grooming as fuck
Askerian: grooosssss
lovingthatofficeyfeel: exactly!
lovingthatofficeyfeel: its like this for most of the danmei!
Askerian: it's not like that at ALL
lovingthatofficeyfeel: which is why I want to know why people like it so much
Askerian: ok first of all, the guy he's stuck inside of is a high ranking ice bitch, so he has to speak that way too, BUT! he's a huge nerd inside!
Askerian: the contrast between the speech and the narration is sometimes completely hilarious
Askerian: also. his screen name peerless cucumber is a dick joke. and the book author's airplane shooting toward the sky is also a dick joke
Askerian: this guy is the kind of oblivious demisexual who will read a 600+ chapters harem story for the worldbuilding
Askerian: and the protagonist! he LOVES the main character, so he also looks favorably upon him getting everything life owes him including sex, he supposes, but! none of his wives LOVE HIM PROPERLY. hm. let's flame the author over that.
Askerian: anyway so then he lands himself in the body of a teacher to a 14 year old abused kid. who is a kid! and a very adorable kid. yeee time to spoil the shit out of him
Askerian: the issue there is that there's a system/game manager forcing plot points and assigning quests and no matter what he does some things must happen, such as his betraying his poor clingy baby student so that he can rise magnificently from a hell dimension and take his place as a demon king
Askerian: so when his adorable little student comes back Pissed and starts doing things that look very similar to what happened in the book just before murdering his evil teacher, he starts running. but he also really wants to help his student survive and even thrive! but also, not die in the process PLEASE.
Askerian: meanwhile luo binghe went from abused by sensei to spoiled by sensei to "i will marry sensei when i grow up" to "STOP RUNNING FROM ME AND EXPLAIN"
Askerian: main character can't explain, btw. he'd die.
lovingthatofficeyfeel: ahahahahahahah OMG
lovingthatofficeyfeel: see THIS, this is my shit
lovingthatofficeyfeel: this sounds freaking God Tier hijinks humour
Askerian: it's so damn fun XD
lovingthatofficeyfeel: you should write the summaries for seven seas' danmei books
Askerian: also the System sells "small scenario pushers" for points
Askerian: guy "what's that, ok, let's buy, maybe it'l save my life" => WHY DID I END UP HALF NAKED AND DRENCHED
Askerian: luo binghe : hhhhhhh 🍆
lovingthatofficeyfeel: ahahahaha omg, wet hanfu Saves Lives XD
Askerian: shen yuan: idk what distracted him but time to run
Askerian: luo binghe: D:< wAIT STOP BEING NAKED AROUND MY LOVE RIVALS
shen yuan: oh no he wants to kill me twice as much
Askerian: he's Oblivious (tm)
lovingthatofficeyfeel: omg. 'oblivious demi-sexual keeps running away from future-demon-king trying to seduce him'
Askerian: yiss
lovingthatofficeyfeel: this is a fanfic plot in the best way
Askerian: YISS.
Askerian: i kinda love luo binghe's character too tbh. he's so nice! but he's such a yandere sometimes
Askerian: i mean, nice. :X
Askerian: "my fantasy life is to be my master's little housewife and i will burn down the world to make it happen" dude :X
lovingthatofficeyfeel: honestly, good on him for having balanced life goals XD
Askerian: as a kid he's adorable but also already "i hear what you said! i understand it! gonna do what i felt was right tho"
Askerian: after he's been given unconditional love by sensei!!!!! but also betrayed by sensei!!! he doesnt know which way is up anymore. it's kinda clear that in the book he was from, his original version was using "seduction and sex with this random new girl that will disappear from the plot in five chapters" to paper the holes
Askerian: like, couldn't trust anybody's love because he never had any, but desperately needed it.
Askerian: this one's had a taste before, and doesn't know what he must have done to lose it, but he will fix it!! but only sensei will do
Askerian: main character keeps expecting him to hook up with dozens of girls and it never happens and he's ?? while also totally missing all the admirers HE is gathering
Askerian: also issues because he's a half demon, and sensei said he thought good demons must exist, but he was still rejected on reveal, so does that mean "there can be good demons but you're not one"
Askerian: and since he's naturally smooth and it easily goes into manipulation, everything he does or say, sensei takes it as some underhanded threat or plot! he was a demon king in the book ok?!
Askerian: book him was NOT nice
Askerian: anyway a REALLY fun read
Askerian: though don't expect the sex scene to be good because it's a half-feral "fixing you via magic sex" and he canonically has huge meat :X
Askerian: and since he has ZERO experience it uh, goes badly
Askerian: tbh the author's gift does not lie with sexy porn
but tbf the point of the scene was NOT to be sexy, soooo...
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[ID: A screeenshot of an article preview, showing a small mannequin tiredly dragging a disposable mask, titled, "NPR: Wrestling With My Husband's Fear of Getting COVID Again: My husband is high risk and still takes COVID precautions. I want our old life back." End ID.]
Article link. Has been saved to the Wayback Machine.
Every other week, Jackson meets with a support group for family members of people who were critically ill with COVID. Many of the participants are women who "are having to negotiate their husbands' fears of socializing, traveling or even going to the doctor," he says.
So we're implying that immuno-compromised, traumatized people who are at serious risk of dying from another infection of Covid, which almost killed them the first time, are misogynists now, because their wives, who only had mild cases, want to have more fun and not care about safety.
(Sarcasm: Cool. Great. Totally normal. End sarcasm).
And pretending it's some horrible terrible unspeakable thing for someone to wear a mask outside. As though that's somehow harmful.
I really fucking hate our society.
oh and also the whole article is lightening "would likely die" to "could get very sick".
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Give me the hot Elisabeth and Rebecca takes!
Sure thing! (Oh boy this turned out long.)
Elisabeth disclaimer: this is purely based on vibes. I have some knowledge of the historical background, but it’s not really my field of study.
Rebecca disclaimer: this is my field of study and I have very strong opinions on it, though I do not claim that I am always correct. I do however maintain that I could back up many of my claims if I had the time to do proper textual analysis and read secondary sources.
I genuinely think Elisabeth (the musical as it was written) is a masterpiece. The framing device, the way certain melodies mirror each other to foreshadow events or indicate character development — it’s amazing! Plus, the music is ridiculously good. 100/10. I love this musical.
Most stagings/recordings of Elisabeth since 2012 though? More than questionable. Levay/Kunze musicals in general appear to be following a pattern where the original production and a maybe one or two productions after it are full of nuance and complexity, only to have that complexity broken down and reduced over time. That is no fault of the musical itself, but a worrying trend of not trusting audience to be able to handle nuance and trying to make every element of a production more palatable and easier to handle. I hate it. Both the 1992 and the 2005 Wien productions have so much to recommend them (I can’t speak for the German productions but would humbly turn over the questions to more Elisabeth-versed mutuals like @fitzrove), but it all seems to be going downhill.
HOT TAKE: I think bringing on more and more “Broadway-sounding” performers to do both Elisabeth and Rebecca is a mistake. For me, Levay/Kunze shows have a very specific sound to them, a sound that fits into European musical theatre and makes sense for when and where they were created. Hiring almost exclusively people with a way more modern, belt-y sound is not a direction I personally like for these shows. Don’t get me wrong, this is not about any specific performers, it’s about trying to change the sound of these shows into something more akin to a big Broadway musical and that really doesn’t work for me. Both Elisabeth and Rebecca are so idiosyncratic in how they sound and how they’re written, trying to make them fit into a mould they don’t belong in does them a disservice. (Looking at you, VBW.)
Maybe not a hot take: but I love the 2005 Wien production of Elisabeth so much. It was my first exposure to the musical and remains my go-to cast album. It certainly has faults and I totally understand why people might gravitate towards different productions, but since I haven’t listened to the full 1992 Wien and 2001 Essen (?) productions yet, I can only compare it to 2012.
REBECCA HOT TAKE: Michael Kunze has stated that he views Rebecca as first and foremost a love story and I think he is WRONG. Daphne du Maurier herself would probably think he was wrong (seeing as she hated the story being described as a romance). This is a core problem with Rebecca das Musical. There are many things to love (Danny, Danny, Beatrice, and did I mention Danny?), but in my opinion, the whole “this is a great love story” angle does it a huge disservice. Let’s make it weirder! Let’s make it as bleak as it fucking is! (Probably not a crowd pleaser but let me have my fun).
Rebecca the musical could have done with some serious editing.
The Magdeburg production of Rebecca, which I am aware was not very accessible to a lot of people, might be one of the best productions of Rebecca ever. Kerstin Ibald absolutely knocked it out of the park with her Mrs Danvers and gave her all the nuance and emotion we so desperately crave. Her Danny is so broken, so lost. Patrick Stanke’s Maxim strikes the perfect balance between the haughty upperclass Englishman who takes kind of a fatherly tone with his young wive, and the haunted, jealous husband who absolutely did murder his first wife. Also in this production Maxim and Ich finally have some chemistry! This production’s Ich (Sibylle Lambrecht, I think) has such a great character arc and it is completely believable that she is into Maxim, even (or especially??) after his confession. Plus, the set design was amazing!!!
More Rebecca hot takes that I’ve definitely brought up before: I know we all like to write Ich as a repressed queer woman who ends up not being all that into Maxim, but honestly, she probably is very attracted to him. We can speculate about the why, but like, it is strongly implied that they have sex for the first time shortly after Maxim’s confession. She wants him.
I maintain and will die on this hill that making Danny sing “Ich liebte sie, doch sie hat mich verraten” is a mistake. I mean, yes please let Danny tell us she loved Rebecca, but come on. Danny doesn’t lose her faith in Rebecca. She doesn’t stop idolising Rebecca. Whatever her reasons for setting Manderley on fire may be it’s not that she thinks Rebecca betrayed her. I don’t even think Danny thinks highly enough of herself to even consider feeling betrayed by Rebecca. Rebecca is god to her.
I definitely have more, but this post is really long and I’m running out of steam… Hope you enjoyed!
#rebecca das musical#Elisabeth das musical#hot takes#really these are hot takes#these are my strong strong opinions#doesn’t mean they’re objectively correct or anything#I just strongly believe in them#thank you
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The people that keep saying not to ship Michael and David together in real life because of their relationships to Georgia and Anna are also the same ones who keep begging to have the two girls appear in the next season of GO as a couple because of Anna’s little joke of making out with Georgia. Seriously people saw that tweet of hers and immediately decided to ship them together and call them the “ineffable wives” but Michael and David have come out with soooo much more adorable moments of the love and joy they have for each other and everyone starts saying that it’s disrespectful to ship them when their “married” to females in real life 🤷♀️ I mean…. The hypocrisy is astounding and disturbing on levels I can’t even comprehend. The fact that Georgia, who is known to search her and David’s name on Twitter and answers back to anyone that tags or even mentions her didn’t even acknowledge Anna’s tweet says sooooooo much about this “best friend dynamic duo”. The fact that Anna is resorting to jokes about kissing another woman just for attention also…. WHEW. If this isn’t the biggest cry for attention I don’t know what is. And the fact that people feed into her attempts also and are petitioning for them to kiss and show up in GO!
Lord. I've seen so much talk about casting female actresses in regard to fem-presenting Aziraphale/Crowley over the past week, and while it is disappointing, I am not at all surprised. The first inkling I had was upon seeing the reactions when a behind the scenes photo of Crowley as Bildad the Shuhite was posted just before the release of GO 2:
It seems that a lot of folks were expecting/hoping for fem!Crowley, as we saw in Golgotha in season 1 (on the right), and when that turned out not to be the case, the reaction was to call Bildad!Crowley ugly, to say that he should shave, and other comments essentially making fun of this particular look. Obviously, much of this could have (and likely was) made in jest, but the overall consensus was clear: You can't be feminine with a beard.
(Which...I'd like to see someone tell that to Michael Sheen, because yes, the fuck you can...)
So from the outset, I was already bothered by what seemed like the hypocrisy of on the one hand celebrating a show where the characters are genderfluid/nonbinary by definition, and then on the other hand getting upset when one character doesn't fit into a prescribed, conventional idea of femininity.
When Neil subsequently mentioned that there had been a storyline for female-presenting Aziraphale and Crowley in the 1960s, it was dismaying (but again, not surprising) to see these same fans casting female actresses in the roles. Never mind that you already had David playing female!Crowley and Nanny Ashtoreth in season 1. Never mind that both Michael and David have played...well, "drag" doesn't seem like exactly the right word, but they've played women, and brilliantly subverted gender roles in their own ways. There is no reason to think that they couldn't do a fabulous job as fem!presenting Aziraphale and Crowley, except that (again) some fans seem to have a specific idea of femininity that they think does not or cannot apply to Michael and David.
Which then brings us to the apparent clamoring for Anna and Georgia as female Aziraphale and Crowley, which has again left me scratching my head. In all of the tweets and hubbub, I have not seen one person say why they think AL and Georgia would do a good job in said roles--like, "Oh, Georgia was so good as [insert role]" or "I loved Anna as [insert role]"--only that they would be "so amazing." This leads me to think that the only reason these fans want AL and Georgia in the roles is because they are Michael and David's partners. They are assuming that this is somehow a guarantee of the same profound understanding of the characters and their connection, despite there being no evidence of such a correlation. (I mean...I fooled around with my former grad school professor last year, but that doesn't mean I have a PhD...)
What it also seems to indicate is that these folks are not thinking of what is best for the characters, either, or indeed if playing female!Aziraphale and Crowley is something AL or Georgia would even want to do. Neil recently said that Georgia turned down a role in GO 2 supposedly because the character was older than her and she didn't feel it was appropriate. If this is the case, why would Georgia want to play the role of a middle-aged character? Because that is what Aziraphale and Crowley are--ageless celestial beings, yes, but beings who have chosen to present as middle-aged. That is a key part of who they are, so to have the female versions of them played by younger actresses makes no sense and seems downright disrespectful.
There is also what you said, about AL's cringey tweet from a little over a week ago. Georgia could have absolutely responded to or acknowledged it by now, as she has responded to several other tweets since then...but she hasn't. Not a reply, not even a 'like.' And I agree with you that that seems to speak volumes, and that it would probably be a good idea if people looked beyond the Staged-driven narrative of "Georgia and AL are BFFs" to see how Georgia actually seems to feel about her.
(And to echo another thing you said, I will never understand how it is somehow completely fine for fans to ship Georgia and Anna/want to see them make out despite neither of them showing that level of affection toward each other or having any visible chemistry, yet not okay to ship Michael and David who do have that chemistry and have been making their feelings for each other very obvious for the last several years...)
So yes, those are my thoughts on the whole female Aziraphale/Crowley fancasting situation. I just hope that if we do get them as fem!presenting in season 3, that it is Michael and David, because there is no way any other two actors could give us what we got with Aziraphale and Crowley the way Michael and David did. I guess we'll see what happens...
#phantomstars24#reply post#good omens 2#aziraphale#crowley#michael sheen#welsh seduction machine#david tennant#soft scottish hipster gigolo#georgia tennant#this proves that michael and david's chemistry is what made go what it was#i love how they both say a big 'fuck you' to society's expectations#how they both play with gender and have both masculine and feminine qualities#and they would be incredible as fem!presenting Aziraphale and Crowley#Michael in particular I think would relish the opportunity#the irony of people wanting to shove him and David into the same boxes they want Aziraphale and Crowley removed from#fandom woes#anna lundberg#discourse
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Here are some completely random fun facts about Odysseus' family from various myths:
His grandfather, Autolycus (meaning "the wolf itself", pretty badass) , was a shape-shifting trickster, also known as "the king of all thiefs", with the ability to change the shape of random objects he stole and was also the direct son of Hermes (originally he was just some dude Hermes liked, post-Odyssey he was changed to be his son. I'd say both versions are equally accepted though the son thing wasn't there from the beginning).
Autolycus was also the sworn rival of King Sysyphus, who you might know as that one guy who escaped death and whose punishment for it was pushing a rock for eternity, or that very nice guy from Tartarus in Hades. Autolycus used to steal Sysyphus' cattle and when the latter finally managed to find tangible proof of his guilt he did the only sensible thing he could think of.
He fucked his daughter.
As one does.
As I'm saying this I really want you guys to imagine the Sysyphus from Hades doing all this. Because I find it fucking hilarious.
Also btw, said daughter is named Anticleia and in her youth she was apparantly a companion to Artemis. Absolutely pop off queen.
So Yada Yada time skip and Anticleia promptly moves on from Sysyphus to Laertes of Ithaca, they get married and soon after a baby boy is born. And by soon I mean, pretty soon after. Suspiciously soon after...I think you know where I'm going with this.
YEP, there are some myths where instead of being the son of Laertes, Odysseus is the son of Sysyphus, yet the absolute gigachad that is Laertes still raised the baby as his own.
Now, myths are everything but consistent, and much like Autolycus beings Hermes' son, this connection with Sysyphus was likely added post-Odyssey, meaning that even if this variation of the myth exists, Odysseus was still widely seen as Laertes' biological son and it's pretty safe to say that he's exactly that in both the Iliad and the Odyssey.
Why did I tell you all this then?
Because it's fanfiction material and I want people to use it.
Sooooo, the baby is born and it's time to give him a name, and the one to do just that is Autolycus, for whatever reason. I mean from what I've read Anticleia actually insisted he named him, so yeah, not super important but I still felt like it was worth mentioning.
So Autolycus cradles his new infant grandson, he looks him in his small baby eyes and says: "You know, I pissed off a fuck ton of people during my life, like really a lot of peeps, so I think I'm gonna name him Hateful."
You think I'm joking but this is kinda how it actually went.
The name Odysseus actually means "To Hate", and yeah, Autolycus specifically chooses it because he himself pissed off a lot of people.
And yeah, that's pretty much it really.
I mean I guess there's the fact that Odysseus got his famous leg scar while hunting with his grandpa, but that's stuff you can read directly on the Odyssey anyway. I just wanted to shine a light on the sheer badassery of this family.
So yeah.
Oh also there are certain myths that say that Homer was Telemachus' son through Nestor's youngest daughter and I think that's kinda neat honestly.
(The girl in question SHOULD be Polycaste, thought some people said it was a different daughter that was apparantly not among the original roster of Nestor's kids which probably means she was written in many years later. Telemachus' love life is actually a bit of a mess really, even putting whatever the hell the Telegony is aside, he's still got at least 3 other possible wives, them being Polycaste, Nausicaa and even Calypso. There is also this one line from the Odyssey where Polycaste bathes him and some people apparantly interpreted it as them banging and it's said she eventually gave birth to a boy named Perseptolis. But yeah, the boy's a womanizer.)
Aaaaand yeah, that's pretty much it.
So what did we learn today? Well, in Odysseus' family the badassery is hereditary it seems.
#odysseus#the odyssey#the iliad#greek mythology#myths and legends#autolycus#Sysyphus#Anticleia#laertes#telemachus#polycaste#homer#epic the musical#hades#I'm honestly putting Hades here only because of the Sysyphus bit
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Rent the Space Inside My Mind
1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I PT 6
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female!Reader
Summary: Boy, Eddie sure is head over heels for you, and is also a teenage boy. Wonder what he's thinkin' about this time?
A/N: This is actually a part of part 3. It was longer but i'm having a hard time figuring out a good end and this one had it. Short like part 1, but there's still more to come and a lot quicker this time too. The holidays really got the best of me, sorry for the wait!
Warnings: 18+ (lil babies go on, git.), getting spicier but not like, anything filthy (we're getting there).
Eddie is fully willing and able to admit that he’s being an asshole in this situation, but like, just not yet.
December had flown by and for a whole god damn month he had managed to not only get it in multiple times with one of the prettiest cheerleaders Hawkins had to offer, he’d also gotten to spend a significant (and close) amount of time with you. Every morning had been spent in usual routine of his hands in your coat pockets, your scent trailing him while he walked to first period.
And, y’know, It wasn’t like he could do this with Gwen. He was positive he’d get his ass kicked if he laid a hand on her in public, and it wasn’t even like he really wanted to huddle with her like he did with you.
And therein lie the problem.
While Gwen was fun (so much fun) she just wasn’t you.
And no matter how many times she’d sucked his dick (it’s been six, he’s got the mental tally going), or invited him to climb into her room, or slid into the back of his van, it didn’t actually matter because on the whole of it:
She. Wasn’t. You.
He’d been waiting to find fault, honestly counting the days down at one point, because it was bound to happen. She would finally slip and say something abhorrent to him. Something about his music or his club or, the worst, his life in general. He thought you’d be the trigger this time, considering how often Gwen brought you up.
“So your friend, the conjoined twin.”
“What about her?” He’s kissed halfway down Gwen’s stomach, pausing to look up at her. He has no fucking clue which way this is going and he’ll be god damned if he’s got fingers in underwear if it’s mean. Hackles raised and-
“She’s like, really funny.” Oh thank god.
“Oh she’s a riot. You should hear her and her friend Jackie get going. They got a whole bit about being Stepford Wives that’s actually pretty clever.”
“I’ve never seen that.” The course correct is strong; he wants so badly to explain that it’s a book as well. He instead reminds himself of the naked girl under him and becomes intimately acquainted with her bellybutton.
“She’s like, so good at making people laugh. I think she would have made a great cheerleader.” Gwen is a little toasted, propped up in the back of Eddie’s van while he kisses down her neck and tries to avoid the joint she’s waving haphazardly around his head. His fingers have crept up to the button on her jeans and she’s dazedly helping him pull them open.
“I’ll have to tell her that, she’s gonna laugh her ass off.” And he sure as shit will, as soon as he can get the image that has just been borne into his mind, out. You? In a cheer uniform? He’s clutching his metaphorical pearls over the idea of you in nothing but the cardigan and the bobbie socks, all pliant and willing and on your knees with his fingers pressed in your mouth-
“Oh? You talk about me a lot?” Gwen is looking down at him all soft and open and he feels guilty for a second.
Focus, asshole. You got real girl in front you.
“All the time.” He wonders if she can hear the white lie in that.
“Why’d you call her Sam?” Gwen asks this in a kind of airy way, like she’s trying not to care. Eddie catches the tone, tries to explain as easy as he can. He feels like he’s trying to keep a horse calm.
“Samwise.”
“What?” He doesn’t want to roll his eyes but she asks so quickly, like she doesn’t want to actually listen.
“Samwise. He’s one of the Hobbits from Lord of the Rings. Frodo’s best friend.”
“And that’s you?” She’s smiling again.
Crisis averted, filly is calm.
“I like to think so.” There’s a self depreciating ring to that but Gwen doesn’t hear it. Sidles up to him and grabs his vest to pull him closer. They are very obviously out of eyeshot of anyone of any importance.
“I’ve never read it before.”
“I could read it to you next time I come over.” He runs a fingertip down the side of her face, pushes some strands of hair back. They’re silky and straight and blonde and he likes how it catches the light.
Nothing like your’s though.
“Will we have time for that?” She’s trying to be coy but she hasn’t quite got the foundations of being sexy down. Eddie grins, his soft spot for naive preps seeping through.
“Baby there’s always time for hobbits.”
He keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. For her to come fully out of her woodwork and ‘Carrie’ him, to borrow your phrasing.
“No, not her as Carrie. You as Carrie.”
It’s what’s kept him from admitting to himself that he’s being an asshole about this whole thing. She’s actually just…nice. She’s flippant about them sure, but for the same reason he is.
It ain’t that serious.
He can’t deny he isn’t having fun with Gwen but it’s literally just sex and weed.
If he was better with his own emotions, he wouldn’t have let this go on for so long. It’s not like he’s deluded himself into thinking him and her are dating, but she’s gotten comfortable with him. It’s been so easy lately for her to call, drip the suggestion of sex down the phone line and wait approximately 15 minutes for him to pop through her window.
And yeah sure, woe is Edward Munson, 18 year old social outcast, fucking around on the regular with one of the popular girls. He isn’t expecting any laurels and accolades for his heroism here, but he did think he had a little less cowardice in him.
If he could just figure his shit out with you, then he’d be golden.
You, both the figurative and literal woman of his dreams.
The denim clad goddess, the pit dwelling priestess, the nerd loving oracle!
You, who always had his back.
You, who never cared when he whined about his girls or his games or his guitar.
You, who had hung around longer than anyone he could remember.
You, who was his best friend.
Ah, the other problem.
If there was one thing Eddie refused to do, it was ruining the best friendship he’d ever had by thinking with his dick.
…Even if he really did want you to like, maybe consider his dick. He’s been told more than once that it’s great! (Big even! But he’ll get back to that…). Hell, he’s even 5 for 5 by his own mental scoring in bringing all the girls he’s been with to their screaming highs. Multiple times in the same night!
I’m a pleaser, sue me.
None of them really matter at the end of the day though, when he’s alone and lonely. The whole trailer vacant and dark and quiet save for his music playing softly from the tape deck. He’s running his finger along the edge of the sacred polaroid like he’s trying to summon you right out of it.
All of his past experience boils down to practice in this moment.
Practice for when he can get his head out of his ass and just tell you how he really felt.
Practice for when he’ll hold your head in his hands and whisper his feelings right into your open mouth. Tilt your head back and dip his tongue in, lick your own confessions right out of you. He knows he could do it too, he’s heard all about your exploits. Half assed fucking in the backseats of too small cars and not one asshole to even try and go down on you!
And what a crying shame that is.
God, I’d treat you right.
Eddie knows the warmth of thighs pressed up around his ears, fingernails running running running over his scalp, hands pulling at his curls. Knows the little sighs, the shivers that run up a spine when he licks right up their hot center, tongue dipping inside for a taste. Knows how to roll the flat of his tongue right up to that little pink button and go in for the kill. The way hands will grab at anything they can find purchase with and hold on while they come sighing and squealing and moaning his name EddieEddieEddie!
All that’s just been practice for you.
He’s driving himself insane thinking about your legs wrapped around his head, fingers dug into his hair, chanting above him. The low timber your voice gets when you’re Very Concentrated.
It’d be his pleasure, and his alone, to waste an hour or two between those thighs making a mess out of you. He’d bury his fingers in your cunt and find that spot, the one he knows will make you see galaxies. The one that’d make you lock his head in place with your legs. He’d be relentless in his pursuit of your orgasm (and your second and third and fourth), have you whimpering and moaning and loud for him.
Eddie knows he’s truly good at a few things in life, and this is one he prides himself on.
The thought of you trembling undone under his hands is the catalyst for him to finally drop the picture and reach down under his sheets to let his dick free. Four quick strokes is all it takes and he’s coming, eyes rolled so far into the back of his head he sees white. His breath catches in his throat and he can hear himself letting out a low whine, warmth splashing over his stomach. When he floats down to a more even breathing he picks up his shirt from beside his bed to wipe himself off and can feel the plummeting beginning to take hold.
Oh here it comes.
For all of his grandstanding by himself in the dark, he’s not going to grab you round the head and kiss you stupid. Post jerkoff clarity is settling in and reminding him of who he is. Which is your friend first and foremost, and also someone who has never quite grasped how to vocalize his emotions. Someone who’s still being led by the dick by a nice set of eyes in a pleated skirt. Someone who’s gonna get tossed to the side once prom season gets into full swing. Eddie covers his eyes with his forearm, takes a few deep breaths and wills the stinging in his eyes to go away. A new kind of shaky breath fills the quiet of his room and if he lets himself cry for a while it’s a secret between him and the four walls.
~
Later when he’s outside letting the cold air clear out his lungs after his cigarette, his red face cooling in the night, he has his come to jesus moment. He’d decided after his little crying spell that he’d break it off with Gwen. It’s not like he was going to be her date for anything (not that he even really wanted to), and not like he’d ever even consider going to something as conforming as prom.
And they weren’t even serious!
So, he cuts her loose, she gets to look like the good guy and he’s free again.
Free to hang out with you and go to shows, go eat and drink and get high and share smokes.
Free to get his shit together and finally sit you down for a little talk. If he couldn’t find the balls to breathe his confession into you the way he fantasized about, then he could put coherent thought to paper with pen and write himself a little speech.
💕Tag List💕
@edsforehead, @fracturedarkness, @munsonsguitarpick, @bebe0701
Thank you! You're all amazing!
#Stranger Things#Eddie Munson x reader#x reader#Eddie Munson smut#gettin smuttier by the installation#Stranger Things fic#my work#fics#Rentfic
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Songs the Ninjago Fandom is Sleeping on.
So I have like a bunch of songs and animatic ideas for the Ninjago fandom to do what they please with, cause chronic hand pain makes long projects like animatics kinda hard so instead I'm throwing them out to yall! (Song-artist)
SOPILERS FOR LITERALLY EVERYHTING RELATING TO NINJAGO (This includes Dragons rising, the spinjitzu brothers books and the Garmadon comics)
Also please remember this is for fun so be nice.
Survivors Guilt- Coma Cinema: Okay oaky so hear me out: eldest child angst. This could work for both Garmadon and Kai, because both of them are just SUCH older siblings in more than just the literal way you know? Like I think it fits especially with Garmadon because it's about feeling like you're a bad person and how it might fuck up someone else life in the process. To me I think it fits, cause like to me it's so clear Garmadon is the elder sibling TM and Wu is the stressed out younger sibling golden child. Lyrics: "And I don't care and I don't know why maybe I'm no good inside" the way this totally works for how Garmadon tries to act like he doesn't care in Spinjitzu Brothers but is like constantly stressed about whether or not he's a good person.
Seven Nation Army- The White Stripes: I don't have like any major reasons for this song other than it being SUPER Wyldfyre/Kai core lol (at least in the early seasons before he mellowed out a bit), like the song is literally someone sing about how they feel like how they could take on armies if necessary so take that as you will!
Viper- Derivakat: For starters I didn't know this was a Minecraft song until I went to look up the lyrics buuuuuuut oh well mine now! Could definitely be used for either the Great Devourer or the Serpentine, but I think it be cool if someone used the song for the Great Devourer and the venoms effect on Garmadon and how it really kinda fucked up his life. I think it'd just be neat. Lyrics: "Run, run, run as fast as you can out of the fire and into my hand" (Could def be used for Garmadon and the Great Devourer or Pythor and Lloyd) "Abandon your pride cause you've dug your own grave" and "Getting all up in your head make you lose your mind again" (Again would work pretty great for Garmadon or season one Lloyd and Pythor)
The Well- The Crane Wives: Now this song is perfect for season 6 Jay in my opinion since it's got some wish related lyrics which work well for the Nadakan plot, plus people getting "dragged down" could be the other ninja getting absorbed into the sword. I'm not to big on this season or Jay but even I can tell this song works WELL for him (get it well? I'll see myself out). Lyrics: "Like spare coins, poised on the tip of my tongue I make a wish and hold my breath" This could not only be the making wishes part but also Jay getting "spare coins" aka his bio fathers money and house after he dies, "I'm the well they're gonna drag you down" again this could be used for the ninja being dragged into the sword "All the words I couldn't say to you" His pinning over Nya obviously. And lastly "I taste blood I'm sick of swallowing stones" Could be his trauma after Nadakan is defeated or when he was beat up in the fight thing.
Viva La Vida (But epic)- Reinaeiry (I just like this version best but any works): Could totally work for Lloyd post merge, him being lonely in this new world and forced to be a hero in the shadows. Y'all could also probably do something with the FSM but like I'm not exactly sure what. This one's a little more for the vibes tbh.
Parasite- Set It Off: When I tell yall this is great for Harumi and Lloyd, like it'd work so well as a song for her trying to manipulate and twist his mind. The name says it all it's literally telling someone they'd wished they'd never been born and that they don't help society, sound like anyone familiar? Also if y'all just want a song for like a villain arch for Lloyd this would also probably work tbh. Lyrics: "Leeching off my pain never satisfied" Totally could work for Harumi being mean and manipulative or Lloyd getting angry and being honest with her. "Strike a nerve or wreck a home hoping you get a response" This could totally be used literally cause of Harumi's whole... you know dead parent situation.
Matilda- Harry Styles: I know I know what you're saying, Harry Styles? But I promise this song is actually wonderful. This could work RIDICOULOUSLY well for Sora. The song is a lot about how you can go on to live a life and you don't have to include your bioparents or family in it if you don't want to which is SO Sora. Like I feel like all the lyrics work well for how Imperium and her parents drained her and I just love it! Then second you could also view this as kind of a Cole song. I know the fandom is kind of split on whether or not him and his father really make up and I'm gonna be honest I don't really think they do. Unlike Jay, Zane, Lloyd as well as Kai and Nya to an extent (once they get their parents back) all at least interact with their parents and clearly have somewhat of a relationship with them (Kai and Nya less so but they have the excuse of being adults by the time they get their parents back). Cole on the other hand doesn't really have the same thing, like he has the episode where he makes up with his father but after that Lou doesn't really have many other major appearances so I think they're on good terms but not that close ya know? Idk just my opinion lol. Unrelated but the song is honestly so eldest daughter-core and I just wanted to mention that.
Uhhhh that's all for now, let me know if y'all just want me to compile all this into a playlist to listen to cause I totally will. Any who just want to restate this is all my opinion and I love this show <3
Hope y'all have a great day/night PEACE OUT.
#ninjago#ninjutsu#spinjitzu#ninjago secrets of the forbidden spinjitzu#dragons rising ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#cole ninjago#lloyd garmadon#garmadon ninjago#nya ninjago#zane ninjago#ninjago sora#sora#kai ninjago#ninjago wyldfyre#wu ninjago#princess harumi#eldest sibling#you can pry burnt out gifted kid Nya out of my cold dead hands just like Eldest Sibling Garmadon and Kai#ninjago misako#spinjitzu brothers#first spinjitzu master#garmadon comics#songs#More people need to read the Garmadon comics tbh
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I don’t remember if I or anyone else has given this song yet… but Tongues & Teeth by The Crane Wives is so Alex
I love this song, but i usually relate it to Desert Duo (from third life and double life, idk if you know what that is but it's a cool minecraft series and its amazing so you should lol) so I'd never even thought about it in the context of Sorry, It's Locked.
But oh my god?
You're so right?
It's so Alex?
Anyway, uh, Too long and very armature analysis incoming. As usual lol. I have far too many thoughts, as always, about my babies, and I've been writing sorry its locked Jam for the last couple days so I need to remind myself of the dumpster fire of a relationship the fic started with :D (I'm kidding, i love Jaylex in this fic and wish I hadn't done them so dirty, they could have been amazing. but also i love angst)
This whole song feel's like Alex kinda, like, reminiscing over his and Jay's relationship? Or, like, how it ended, but like, reminiscing in the moment? Do you know what I mean? Or is reminiscing over something while it's still happening just a me thing lol. Anyway, super long thing incoming (I'm so sorry, it's so long. This song has me in a chokehold).
I've grown a mouth so sharp and cruel
It's all that I can give to you, my dear
And when you come in quick to steal a kiss
My teeth will only cut your lips, my dear
As far as Alex is concerned, his relationship with Jay didn't start out bad. Back in college, when they started their fwb situation it was pretty healthy (though that did go downhill relatively quickly) It started out fine, but tension grew as soon as Alex realized that Jay actually liked him and that he couldn't bring himself to like Jay back, or to allow himself to like Jay back. That started the friction between them, but they kept fucking because it was fun, they both enjoyed themselves, and Jay didn't call it off yet. Alex definitely liked Jay, but he didn't necessarily know he liked Jay back. And didn't know how to express it, so he just didn't.
Then obviously the stuff with the Operator started, and that changed Alex's personality a lot, making him irritable and unpleasant to be around, even for the people he'd been friends with the longest. His mouth grew sharp and cruel, but he didn't break off his thing with Jay because it was the one place where he actually felt in control of his life. Jay did what Alex told him to, and Alex didn't have to wrestle with himself to not be unkind to him, because that was what Jay wanted (as far as he'd made Alex aware, that was what he wanted out of their dynamic)
If Jay tried to initiate anything softer, or more romantic with Alex back in college (or even just mentioned it, sometimes) Alex would shut him down. His teeth cut Jay's lips when Jay went in to steal a kiss, because Alex couldn't let himself get attached, and if he let Jay kiss him without it being used as something to spur them on to acts where Alex was definitively in control, he wouldn't be able to cope with it.
(jesus this is already so long. im so sorry if you decide to read all of this dude)
And I know that you mean so well
But I am not a vessel for your good intent
Jay trying to help Alex after they meet up again is pretty much the last thing Alex actually wants. He asked Jay for help to find Amy while his thoughts were being edited and glitched out by the Operator, so when he first got in contact with Jay again, he did it so he could try and kill Jay. Then he regained his senses a little and realized that the absolute worst thing Jay could do was stick around. Like, obviously Jay meant well in trying to help Alex, but Alex hadn't meant well when he'd asked for help.
Jay wants to help, and he want's to rebuild the friendship he once had with Alex. He wants to help find Amy, despite Alex leaving him for her. He wants to help figure out what happened to Alex back in college. He wants to help figure out how to save Alex from what he's figured out happened. But Alex isn't the person Jay's well intentioned helpfulness should be aimed towards.
Alex doesn't really think he needs saving, he's convinced he has to save everyone else. But he has a twisted understanding of what it means to save people, and his idea of saving people often directly lines up with the things the Operator edits his thoughts to make him do. He doesn't (can't) realize that the things he does to save people (killing them) and the things the Operator edits his thoughts to make him think it's okay to do (killing those same people) are the same thing.
When he has a bit more sense about him, he realises that killing because it's what the Operator put in his head is awful and not something he wants to do. But he doesn't see killing people to 'save them' as the same thing. He barely even sees it as killing half the time, and even when he does, it's for the greater good.
So he doesn't think he needs help and he doesn't think he needs saving. And even if he did realise he needs help, Alex doesn't believe himself worthy of being helped or saved, not when he knows what he really intended to do when he first asked Jay for help.
I will only break your pretty things
I will only wring you dry of everything
And if you're fine with that
You can be mine like that
SO i have two lines of thinking about what this verse could mean
Post College:
Alex doesn't break pretty items that Jay owns (he doesn't have any that Alex could break, really) but he does break Jay in a way. After they argue in the parking lot, he realizes that Jay isn't going to stop trying to help him, no matter what, so he'll have to force him to, by breaking Jay's heart and making him hate him.
Jay's heart is a pretty thing: It was loving even when Alex was giving it nothing but a good fuck in return. It made Jay help Alex with his student film even as Alex became more and more unbearable to work with. It made Jay come back to help Alex all over again when his girlfriend 'disappeared'.
Alex had to save Jay, and his own (deeply buried) feelings for Jay stopped him from just killing him like he had to save Amy, and Seth, and Sarah, and all the others. He had to find another way, and the only way he could think of was to wring Jay dry of every ounce of care he still held for Alex.
OR
During College:
Alex wasn't trying to hurt Jay and break his heart, if anything he felt constantly like he was doing nothing but breaking his own heart over and over again by denying himself the chance to actually date Jay. So he kept up the fwb situation with Jay because it 'suited' both of them (aka neither of them voiced the issues they had with it to the other) until he'd wrung Jay dry and an opportunity to escape having to deal with his own sexuality (Amy) came along.
But, if Amy hadn't come along and offered Alex the perfect way out, he would have kept the fwb going for as long as he could, not willing to give up having Jay in the only way he felt he could until he absolutely had to. If Jay could be fine with that, he could be Alex's like that, with their relationship never progressing and only ever wearing the two of them down until they resented each other and couldn't take it anymore.
They were never not going to go down in flames, but they could light the fire with wet wood and suffocate slowly on the smoke until the fire finally took and burned them up quickly and painfully.
Abandon all your stupid dreams
About the girl I could have been, my dear
'Cause in the night I know you burn with feelings
I cannot return, my dear
Oh, my dear
In college, Alex was silently begging Jay to give up his hopes of ever actually dating him, of them being together officially. He knew what Jay wanted him to be to him, but he also knew that he couldn't be that. He wanted to, somewhere squashed deep down, he really really wanted to be the soft, loving, romantic partner that Jay was waiting and hoping he'd turn into, but he knew it wouldn't happen. Maybe he didn't realize all of that consciously. Consciously he probably just thought he didn't like Jay like that at all, that he was just a good lay and that was the end of it. But he had one too many dreams about taking Jay on quiet, gentle dates for him to really only see Jay as a good fuck.
The thing is though, that he knows what Jay wants them to be to each other. He knows from the way that Jay looked at him whenever he messes up and starts treating him a little nicer, a little gentler, a little softer, when they fuck.
He knows that during those moments where they still together and catch their breaths, and Jay looks up at him like he's hung the stars just because he's brushing his sweaty hair out of his face, that Jay has those feelings and those hopes. And he knows he can't return those feelings. He can't return the love that Jay lavishes on him by not telling him to fuck off and going and finding someone who is willing to treat him the way he really wants to be treated. It kills him, but there's nothing he can do about it.
(Also good news, you're about half way through :D whoooooo, the torment isn't eternal!)
You gotta know that this won't last
Desperation will erase the fact
I'm keeping all
Of the answers in my cigarette box
Yeah, the answer's in the second before the other shoe drops
And if you're blind to that
I am fine with that
Back in college, Alex needed Jay to know that their arrangement couldn't last, that as much as Jay wanted it to work and wanted Alex to magically sort out the shit in his head that left him too scared to even properly date Jay in secret rather than just being fwb, it wouldn't. Alex needed Jay to know that it wouldn't change unless it was to break the whole thing off entirely, which is what happened, it was what was always going to happen. But if Alex could have made Jay realize that that was what he should have expected, and that nothing he could do would 'fix' that, maybe the not-breakup wouldn't have hurt Jay so badly.
Alex didn't want to hurt him, he wasn't trying to hurt him back in college, he was just trying to stop himself from hurting by continuing their fwb relationship. Alex's life was spiraling out of control, his own thoughts were spiraling out of his control, as were his actions sometimes, and the only time he felt secure in his control over himself and his life, was when he was controlling Jay in scenes.
The answers he always gave Jay when Jay got up the courage to try to talk about their relationship, and what he hoped it could become, weren't the truthful answers. Alex told him he didn't like him back, told him he was just a good fuck, when the real answer was that he was terrified out of his mind, and the idea of changing their relationship even a little felt dangerous. Because their fwb relationship worked and it gave Alex the control he needed, if they started dating that would bring in a huge amount of unknown variables, and if it ended up not working? That would leave Alex with nothing. Not to mention the general internalized homophobia, and the homophobia all around them meaning that it could be genuinely dangerous for both of them if the wrong people found out.
So he keeps all the real answers hidden away in a place Jay won't look for them, in a 'cigarette box' (behind the lies he tells instead) because it's something easily hidden, its something that wouldn't look out out of place, just like the lies he tells don't look out of place. Jay has no real reason to question the answers Alex gives him, they make sense and Alex's behavior seems to back up the idea that he doesn't like Jay the same way Jay likes him.
And Jay's desperation to have a relationship with Alex blinds him to the fact that it could actually be possible if only Alex would stop lying to him. Any time Jay sees a crack in Alex's facade he second guesses himself, insisting that it's just wishful thinking and that little glimpse behind the walls Alex has built was just something his hopeful, lovesick mind made up. It's always a split second, something so tiny and easy to miss that Jay automatically dismisses it.
Oh, I will ruin you
Oh, I will ruin you
It's a habit, I can't help it
I know that you mean so well
But I am not a vessel for your good intent
After college, when Jay and Alex meet up again and everything that happens after the argument in the parking lot happens, Alex knows that it's a terrible idea. He knows that all it'll do is reopen old, half healed, half festering wounds and rub salt in them, but Jay wants it, and he wants Jay so he doesn't stop them. He's lost all of his friends (whether to death or just distance), he's lost Amy, and the only thing he has left is an old, already failing not-relationship with Jay. So to tries to make himself feel better by rekindling that.
He and Jay fuck in the parking lot and Alex realizes that this is most likely going to be the last chance he ever gets to have Jay back, even just for one night. And if this is the last chance, he doesn't want it to be exactly the same as it was in college, so he takes Jay back to his house and does all the things he'd been too scared to back in college. Because who would find out? And if anyone did? Why would it matter, Alex's life had already fallen apart and become controlled by fear and a monster, what was getting beaten up for being queer in comparison to that?
This was his last chance to have Jay back, and Alex knew he had to make sure of that. He couldn't drag Jay into all of this, so he had to ruin everything in the worst way possible, and having taken Jay back to his house and treated him so nicely was (instead of coming back to bite him in the ass) going to work in his favor. Even in being nice, he was going to be hurting Jay, but that was what he had to do. Hurting Jay is a habit he can't kick, it's woven into his dna at this point and there's nothing he can do about that other than try to twist it into being something that's for Jay's own sake.
If he can just make Jay hate him enough, he can save him, he can drive him away and Jay won't be a target of the man in the black suit.
I will only break your pretty things
I will only wring you dry of everything
But if you're fine with that
If you're fine with that
Same as earlier :]
I will poison all your happy thoughts
I will love you like the ashes in my cigarette box
And if you're fine with that
You can be mine
If you're fine with that
You can be mine, oh
Jay's 'happy thoughts' that Alex is poisoning are the memories of how nicely Alex treated him when they got back to his house. In the moment of it all, he wasn't thinking of anything other than showing Jay how much he actually cared about him and how he should have been being treated all along. In the moment he just wanted to be good to Jay. It was only afterwards that he realized what he'd have to do, and he took the next morning to spit poison into their breakfast, which could have been a turning point in their relationship if only they weren't doomed by the damn narrative.
So Alex ruins the night before for Jay by telling him he hadn't even wanted to remember that it was him he was fucking. He poisons those memories forever, as well as poisoning the idea of being treated well in general for Jay.
Alex loves all those truthful answers that he kept hidden away behind lies back in college. Those truths are what he was trying to finally finally let out when he and Jay spent the night together at his house.
He loves Jay like he loves those truthful answers that he never got to give him back in college, bitterly. Those truths were things he never thought he'd get to, never wanted to get to tell Jay, they sat rotting behind the lies he told, and now he can only look at them with a painful sort of nostalgia because it's too little too late.
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My dadfrey hc is that he is honestly the most ACCEPTING chill parent/partner man you can have in the lands in between but like in the most fucked up way. Because he himself is a blood thirsty, genocidal might makes right sigma male, his idea of a "moral-line-we-should-absolutely-not-cross" is astronomically far and thin.
Radagon is Marika? Okay so he has two wives now cool. Radagon marries Rennala? Ok so she wants in too cool. "Slay those groups of completely innocent people for me " "yes babe thank you babe"
Mohg does blood cult and is the king of sh twt? Yes go son slay (I mean he himself is filled with bloodlust). Might even commit a bloody genocide in the name of the formless mother for his son, just another Tuesday for him. The whole 'kidnapping step bro to become his consort and gain power' plan has his head scratching tho. Like..why? What is the need? Just learn his feet smashing technique and he could get there, but oh well
Rykard fed himself to a snake to become a god devouring serpent? He did what he had to do. Ranni killed his son? Yeeeeaa that's sad but he has also killed many sons ya know? *head scratch*. It's not that he didn't care for Godwyn, its just that he is good at placing his affections in to neat little boxes that he can store in the attic to protect his emotional health better.
Godrick grafts himself into oblivion? Now Godfrey will judge him, but only because those grafts look UGLY(and because he didn't earn his strength the RAW. ALPHA WAY). Look at them!? Not even size/symmetry coded. Serosh is way better
Malenia is at the verge of unleashing a nuclear weapon every waking moment of her life? Tells her to "be herself", and "not to be scared". He will accept his step daughter "even if she was a worm"
(Finding out she nuked Caelid) it would suuure suck to be Radahn. That's a shame, he was fun to grill with (moves on with his life)
#elden ring#Dadfrey#godfrey the first elden lord#okay this may have gotten too ooc#but this is a free app and i love being delusional SO#Hoarah Loux the ENABLER#queen marika the eternal#radagon of the golden order#malenia blade of miquella#mohg lord of blood#rykard lord of blasphemy#godrick the grafted#morgott not included because he is just normal#he is just depressed is all#'dad look i am protecting the tree pls pat me'#meanwhile he doesn't really give af about the golden order. just marika#miquella doesn't even get the chance to talk#godfrey just yeets him around like a ball#radahn is normal thank god#as for the shoving his kids into the shunning grounds event. he was either forced or Godfrey visited them down their very frequently#considering morgott can shit talk you in high brow lingo
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back w more of my song analysis bs cause im studying music performance and it’s all I think about 😍 sorry this is so long. i have so many Thoughts
the chain by fleetwood mac is such a brian song. no big beat drop, just constant driving bass - shows determination, relentlessness. specifically the line “if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again” which i take to mean “after i do what im about to do i will become unlovable, so you if you don’t love me now then you will never be able to because i’ll be such an irredeemable person”
geyser by mitski is a really good song to describe nina’s relationship with Jeff. the way that the song starts off so slow, so quiet and thin, but then swells to a grand and full sound like how nina’s obsession started off so small but then grew to control her entire life. love the line “and hear the harmony only when it’s harming me”
a pearl by mitski and LJ (another mitski song cause she’s my fav artist ever) about his abandonment mmm. plus the slightly sinister sounding chords showing his evilification(?? yk what i mean. when he turned emo) ugh “you’re growing tired of me” and “i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended” so him
tongues and teeth by the cranes wives and EJ. this is SO his song. ALL of the lyrics r so incredibly him,, “my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear” plus the slightly manic instrumental, highlighting the panic he feels at potentially harming people he loves HLGKFJJDS.
also, for ur consideration, miss nothing by the pretty reckless x nat.
- anon 🌙
anon im kicking my feet. AGGHHGHG. ohh my god. yhou are using musical word that i do not comprehendn in the same way you may but wow do i love the way you describe it. very poetic i think. ill talk abt these.. and then mention a liil extra smth abt toby i thought when driving yesterday
the chain is yes very brian.... ugh... yeyah. yeah. 'after i do what im about to do' is so real. like being so very aware and conscious of your awful decisions and still going through with them. quite brian-like even under the whole complexities with hoody persona etc etc....
AND YEAH GEYSER TOO . the start of the song feels very like... idk if scary is right but its just very deep and could be quite unsettling.... nina longs for love. "i've turned down every hand thats beckoned for me to come" very pretty, fun, easy-going girl that could have plenty of suitors and yet she's still crawling towards this fucking beast of a man who is nothing good for her. "i will be the one you need" constantly warping herself for this man that wouldn't do shit for her, and she doesn't mind because she loves him in every single which way he is, and she loves how awful it is . and FUCKKKKK SHE NEEDS TO GET BETTER SHE NEEDS TO GET AWAY. she gets away dont worry. she gets over him. lots of crying and sobbing and screaming but she gets over it. its very hard to get over something awful when you crave awful
im not a huge lj fan (SCARED OF CLOWNS IM SORRY GUYS IK I KEEP HARPING ON ABOUT IT) but i loooove a pearl. "i fell in love with a war / nobody told me it ended" wow. ok. yeah. wow. jesus. rolling the pearl around looking for anything and everything that could soothe the ache of literal fucking abandonment while all you can do is wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and then its all too much and damn . :( damn ok.
IVE GORWN A MOUTH SO SHARP AND CRUEL IS LITERALLY SO PERFFECTLY EJ. FUCK. "I am not a vessel for your good intents" oh but he is sure a vessel for something demonic .... "abonded all your stupid dreams / about the girl i couldve been" HE HAD SOOO MANY FUCKING DREAAAMSSSS he wants to be a doctor he wanted to save lives he wanted a family he wanted a dog he wanted to see his little siblings grow up he wanted to take care of his elderly parents. and now all he can do is sit and be miserable because he is a monster and there is only so much he can do about it. damn. wow.
also yeah to the nat thing wow.
wow. yeah. goddamn.
AND ALSOOOOO OK LAST NIGHT I WAS DRIVING AND THIS SONG CAME ON
shit show by peter mcpoland i just keep thinking about toby. tbh ill find a way to twist any song into toby cuz i like him but yea. this is leaning more into the found family thing after losing his own and just seeing the way different people reflect his past and its gut wrenching but you know how he is. just a guy of sorts. he spends a lot of his time angry and wanting to isolate and self destruct and ruin everything around him . but he also spends a lot of his time desperate for normalcy, for respect, to be seen as a human fucking being and ah fugugh. im just imagining brian pulling him out to meet the owner of the farm near slenders forest and making him stand straight and telling the farmer 'he's a good kid, hard worker, strong. keep him around" (the hardworking strong part is true, at least) and toby's about to die cuz he's so stressed (this is shortly after all the fucking murder) but brian lightly slaps him on the back and he stands up straight and the farmer just shakes his hand and says smth nice abt 'got a good grip there' and and and guyyyyssss..... and holidays..are so hard for hhim.. and "i swear i'd see your faces staring up at me" ohh my goddd.... "I don't wanna drink alone today" man................... guys...... man......
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Do ypu have HR with the hero having this animalistic MINE MINE MINEEEE!!! I know all of them have them but there are some taking it to the next level
Weeeellll lol not all of them tbh. Because we are surrounded by pearl clutchers as of late.......
ANYWAY.
I'm obviously relistening to Seduce Me at Sunrise by Lisa Kleypas, her most underrated banger imo, and when Kev finally gets with the program and sneaks into Win's bedroom all he does is cover her mouth with his hand and go "YOU'RE MINE" and she realizes it is THE FUCK. ON. And then he rails her for like 48 hours in his little fuck cottage, yay!
The Bride by Julie Garwood is the quintessentially MINE MINE MINE romance novel. Medieval border marriage book. Alec Kincaid literally drags Jamie up to a window so his people can look at her, and when someone asks him in Gaelic "what do we call her?" He goes "YOU CALL HER MINE". (He does not realize that Jamie also speaks Gaelic, which is embarrassing for him, but also beneficial because she's like "OH".)
The Dragon and The Pearl by Jeannie Lin... I forget how much the hero says "mine", but he does tattoo the heroine with his symbol (consensually!) and it's soooooo possessive and erotic and emotional. And he's a villainous hero, so he's very like "YOU BELONG TO ME NOW"
Flowers from the Storm by Laura Kinsale has a very alpha hero who suffers a stroke at the beginning of the book. The heroine helps him as he recovers (after some big asylum trauma) and he's always calling her like "my maddgirly" (her name is Maddy) and he's SUPER territorial over her and I love it.
Shadowheart by Laura Kinsale is also a very "MINE" romance, but it's mutual because Allegreto is a horrible villainous alpha who happens to like it when Elena gets rough in bed. However, he also gets his "MUAHAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE ALL MINE NOW" moment. Allegreto is crazy. *Obligatory Shadowheart's First Sex Scene is Noncon Warning*
The Wolf and The Wildflower by Stacy Reid! Wolf Duke is VERY possessive. Because he spent years in the Yukon living with wolves. (Really.) (He sniffs her crotch a lot.) (Shouldn't work but it sure does.)
Stephanie Laurens writes super possessive heroes because they have THE CONQUEROR'S BLOOD and are very alpha as a result. Scandal's Bride is my favorite I've read of hers thus far *obligatory "she drugs him for the first encounter" note* and Richard, lunatic of my heart, literally refers to Catriona as his snack (which he must have every morning or he will be very annoyed, and then he needs like a follow up snack thrice more throughout the day). But like. EVERY Cynster hero is a mine mine mine guy.
Elizabeth Hoyt knows how to write a mine mine mine. The Leopard Prince is an underrated one imo, because like Seduce Me at Sunrise it's one where the hero almost forces himself to give her up but at the last minute he's like "OH NO NO NOOOOOOOOO" and snaps and like, fucks her until she's screaming within earshot of her brothers and the guy who wanted to marry her.
Duke of Midnight proooobably has her most possessive hero, Everyone's (My) Favorite Douchecanoe Maximus Batten. I don't know that there are many romance heroes who get quite as MINE as Maximus fucking Artemis while talking about how he's gonna keep her trapped in like a special hunting lodge and kill elk for her and feed her the tastiest morsels, and it's honestly a real "oh girl it's like that huh" moment because she's a vERY rational woman and she's like "yeah tell me more about it keep going" lmao. Some of my favorite deranged dirty talk of all time.
Jennifer Ashley's Mackenzie brothers are super possessive. Like, even the "oh ho we have a fun time" ones (Mac from Lady Isabella's Scandalous Marriage and Cameron from The Many Sins of Lord Cameron") are still very "ALRIGHT NOW. CALM TF DOWN" if someone looks at their wives for too long lol. Ian (The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie) literally needs Beth around to feel complete and Hart from The Duke's Perfect Wife, another "Everyone Else Thinks He's Too Much But Iiiiiiiiiii Like 'Im" hero is sooooo possessive of Eleanor. Wasn't even in his own book yet and he still made time to put money down her bodice to remind her that DADDY STILL HAS CASH.
Monica McCarty's Highland Guard series is basically entire made up of "mine mine mine" heroes lol. The Chief has a MAJOR alpha hero. The Recruit is big on it too, especially since she tries to keep her accidental pregnancy from him and he feels the baby bump by accident and goes all *INFANT. DETECTED.* and is like "NO BABY OF MINE IS GONNA BE A BASTARD!!!!"
Though it's a funny moment, I still think the hero of Tessa Dare's Any Duchess Will Do making the heroine recite his courtesy titles while he bends her over his desk is both hilarious and ridic dumb possessive hot.
The Earl I Ruined by Scarlett Peckham has a very consciously dominant, "whose pussy is this?" type hero, which we love to see.
Joanna Shupe has very possessive heroes--Preston from The Bride Goes Rogue comes to mind, especially when mY BOY the Duke of Lockwood is like, vaguely making friends with Katherine, because Lockwood is so hot that every other hero in the series is like "You wouldn't fuck him??? OH PLEASE DON'T LIE TO ME I WOULD FUCK HIM" and gets very jealous lmao. Fwiw, Lockwood is possessive of Nellie in The Duke Gets Even. He's always like "I'm keeping you" and biting her tits to leave bruises and shit. Which is what Joanna Shupe is allowed to get away with in a trad historical in 2023 lmao.
Obviously. Derek Craven from Dreaming of You. McKenna from Again the Magic.
If you're up for something dark and angsty, A Rose at Midnight by Anne Stuart has a very intense YOU'RE MINE NOW YOU WENCH thing, but uhhh check your triggers. I loved it!
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i dont think ive seen any of ur pcs other than afhiri (who i adore) basically i am here to say if u want share pics and some facts abt ur other pcs!! :D
this is rue she is my durge and her playthrough got murdered by durge related bugs that i didnt wanna deal with and would rather wait for them to fix the cutscenes <3 also known as rue the impaler shes a wild magic sorcerer who got fed up of being one shot and became a tank with a barbarian multiclass <3 afhiri is a resist durge who i can explain best as those uncomfortable and uneasy to be around strange emo girls who stare into ur soul with lifeless eyes. shes pretty... but shes weird
my oc dru kind of got cannibalised by rue but still exists.. cuz dru's intended path literally doesn't work because i made her before i finished the game and the ending doesn't allow her to exist and it would have to be rewritten by me so much that i just don't have the energy so dru just lives in my lil au "what i wish the ending allowed" space in my brain <3 i'm not gonna share a picture because this also allows me to have her exist outside of the games limitations so no picture <3 she's so much cooler than the cc allows <3 dru is a high elf who is delusional and thinks shes actually a fey eladrin and is very uncomfortable to be around because shes just insane. completely isolated from society and the world and would have the hermit background if they didnt remove it .. larian literally didnt want her to exist.
unfortunately due to my pc death i no longer have asuras cc stuff so she will need to be remade but... this is asura shes literally terrible. shes my unfortunately extremely power hungry character who will accept every single option to make her stronger. she fucks mindflayers. and minthara. and she and minthara will rule the entire world together as tyrant wives and maybe they ascend. true love stuff. asura won't live until i'm confident minthara isn't a broken fucking mess . i think playing asura will make me worse. shes like how people play bhaalist durges who love their daddy but shes not the durge. shes just a bad person
THIS IS TAV. yeah his name is tav. they're just a tav man idk. this is my first character from full release tav is an ancients paladin whose entire vibe is "you don't quite suite your oath" and that's fun. they are the most lawful good boring ass motherfucker you ever met and literally my favourite type of character. he's all about Justice and Order and Goodness and Sacrificing Your Happiness For The Greater Good. that kind of annoying paladin! <3 tav never got to finish the game because my pc died and killed them. oh and tav has a twin who dedicated their life to annoying tav because .. like. lawful good paladin? DESERVES to be annoyed
which is really funny because the twin is my EA character! also tav! see the thing is. paladin tav is actually tav. but this monster? tav isn't their name. but they go by tav. just so they can hopefully fuck with their twins reputation. doing terrible things in their lawful good twins name!!! i still can't decide if i want twin tav to work with the guide and kiss nine-fingers keenne or work with the zhentharim and kiss rugan. or maybe they're a double agent and kiss both. idk!!! twin tav has literally no moral compass and just does shit for money mostly. and to make their twins life hell <3
and lastly i have this dude who doesn't have a place on my oc page because he doesn't have a name or nothing like. he's completely blank beyond i KNOW he's something to do with afhiri. so fun fact afhiri's lore was leading towards this dude being some sort of outer planes entity, either a god (dead star) or the herald of such, and baited afhiri through a portal as part of her destiny. this is how she gains her wild magic. BUT this was scrapped for what ended up happening (afhiri befriends a chwinga. cuteness ensues). HE STILL EXISTS IN AFHIRIS LORE SOMEWHERE - HE IS LITERALLY A COMPANION IN HER PARTY - when my pc stops crashing every time i play bg3 he's going to be on my blog a lot because im gonna use fancy editing to make him a companion and shove him in cutscenes. afhiri and he will kiss btw. i definitely don't want him to be actually a tiefling though this is just a form he uses to walk faerun and not to cause any ruckus... and to make afhiri feel ease around him <3 ALSO HES NOT ACTUALLY AFHIRIS GUARDIAN... u will see who is when my pc stops dying <3
#fray.txt#ask#imoge#i might put this in oc tags later i need to think on it but#i hope this is good#its also long#sorry#SLKJFSDFS#I HOPE I DIDNT MISS ANYTHING#I DO HAVE SOME VERY VERY WIP CHARACTERS I DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE SHARING YET BUT#hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii#thANK U FOR ASKING
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