decided to make a list of all my diagnosed issues and like fucking. god damn. how am i just living day to day.

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

disabled mfs when their disability disables them: 🤯🤯🤯

If You Have ADHD Why Are You So Quiet?

I forget what I’m going to say (even while I’m saying it)

I speak very quickly (I get embarrassed, misheard, and often told to “just slow down”

I forget words, names, and sentence structure

I’m exhausted

I’m concentrating on listening and processing

I don’t want to interrupt (when/how am I meant to join in)

I have thousands of thoughts occupying my brain

I’m concentrating on my body language (whilst tying to read yours)

I struggle to speak about things I have no experience or interest in

I’m afraid of rejection (RSD)

I CAN Network Ltd

lately, i've seen more people in the online autistic community acknowledging the struggles of people with higher support needs, which is of course an important development. but for some, that seems to come with the implicit assumption that low needs autistics "have it easy" or experience no stigma at all, which is just wrong??? people with low support needs are still disabled by their autism and still face discrimination because of it. sure, they are impaired to a lesser degree than those with higher support needs, but that doesn't mean you can just erase their struggles, y'know?

sorry for disappearing. I promised I wouldn't do that again but it's always the thing I fall back on in desperate times. idk how to stop doing that

I'm just so tired and in pain, I wanna lay down and cry and never get back up again

untangling my neurodivergence is such a trip like

- first time they tested me for autism i got a negative which is so funny in hindsight considering how Very Obviously Neurodivergent i was as a kid, so i had to return like OK I KNOW YOU SAID I DIDN'T AUTISM BUT CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHY I AM IN CONSTANT SENSORY HELL LIKE I'VE BEEN TOLD BY RELIABLE SOURCES WEARING CLOTHES IS NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL THIS AWFUL ALL THE TIME and on second try i got an "hmmm ok you TECHNICALLY qualify but it's SO mild you are VERY high functioning like it's very vague. barely there. but you can have the diagnosis juuust in case you want accomodations someday" <- definitely didn't carry this assessment with me for years, no sirree, definitely didn't let other people's perception of "i'm not THAT autistic" color the way i viewed and treated myself well into adulthood,,

- the odd disparity between "but i'm so helpless i don't think it's possible for me to live on my own, i don't know how to do anything, i'm going to be a child forever" and "HUH living on my own is SO nice and easy?? i'm handling adulthood so much better than i ever thought i would????" because it turns out having control over my own environment frees up so much space in my brain

- the autism nerf becomes very apparent the moment i Return Home and suddenly the old brick walls in the brain are back. suddenly somehting as easy as making a little cheese toastie, a food that i've been eating almost every day for most of my life, becomes a strenuous task because i have to navigate a now unfamiliar territory, just choosing a cheese is hard enough because some of these belong to someone else and are off limits, if i open a new cheese when there was another one already open i will be berated for it, if i use the wrong cheese that is too fatty and melty i will be berated for picking the wrong cheese, and the fridge is very full and confusing and maybe i'm just missing the most obvious cheese, i'll just ask, and of course i can always ask, i am not afraid of asking for help but i'm always so tired of being made to feel stupid and clueless for needing to ask, but if i just assume i will always make the wrong assumption, and IS IT ANY WONDER SO MANY OF US DEVELOP ANXIETY

- anyway yes i'm absolutely THAT Autistic.

My psychiatrist: sorry I need to write this down - I love how you describe your experiences; you’re not a box checker type and the language you use is really insightful

Me: this is good I’m getting a good grade in mental illness. normal to want possible to achieve etc etc.

not to still be talking about beyond evil in 2023, but to talk about beyond evil in 2023 and specifically mental illness representation and how i want to talk ad nauseam about idk maybe han joo won being less obsessive is actually a good thing because people with ocd are constantly struggling to have some kind of recovery and no, beyond evil didn’t just forget about how joo won has mysophobia (because even in the finale, the manyang gang address it)—it’s about how people still recover, and maybe that’s very comforting to the viewers who feel like they’re unable to live properly with their own mental illness okay okay

our mum's boyfriend has been telling her to avoid going to a doctor about her asthma symptoms for as long as possible because "once you start on an inhaler it's really hard to stop taking it again because you can't breathe when you stop taking it" and like??? yeah no shit, if you stop taking the meds that help you breathe you're gonna start struggling to breathe

Ppl be like "cringe culture is dead! Do whatever you want that makes you happy as long as it doesn't hurt anyone!" And then proceed to make fun of autistic people stimming in a way that's not the most stereotypical or common form of stimming simply because "it's weird" even though they could just look away and it wouldn't be a problem anymore

"potentially autistic enough to get regularly assumed some form of neurodivergent including just being asked 'are you autistic' several times from friends and acquaintances, but not obviously potentially autistic enough to ever be evaluated for it" is such an interesting spot to be in

guys how do you deal with the 'popular kids'? Like seriously even if they arent targeting me specifically everything they say feels like theyre making fun of me and theyre dragging me down and they shouldnt be able to do that if im being honest like i know my worth im a debate team captain with 3 medals of excellence(75% A grades across all subjects) college colours, have a lead role in a musical and lots of friends like i believe im a good person and i know im a person that can win in arguments im a really good actor but for some reason theyre able to turn me into a literal pushover (i got pushed over in sport yesterday on accident) and ill just be like yeah im fine im sorry because everything feels threatening like they could be just talking with me and i feel like theyre making fun of me i cannot read social situations to save my life WAIT THATS THE PROBLEM I KNOW MY FRIENDS SO I UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SAYING BUT I DONT REALLY KNOW THESE GUYS SO I ASSUME EVERYTHING IS A THREAT AND TBH IT MIGHT BE BUT OH THATS IT but yeah if someone has any advice please help because this isnt like the musicals?? Probably closest to bmc im in my jeremy era but also BACK TO PLAY REHEARSAL MY BRAIN IS LIKE BZZ MY HEART IS LIKE WOW BECAUSE IM ALMOST AT PLAY REHEARSAL AND ITS STARTING ITS STARTING ITS STARTING SOON!! TOMORROW AFTERNOON!!! so hopefully ill be able to be more christine and yeah thats my life advice would be appreciated👍

After the first movie, Dusty must have trust issues. That's not an theory, that's axiomatic

So today I heard that I’ve officially been diagnosed with ADHD and autism

Don’t really know how to feel about it yet

God. One of my little sisters is such a bitch. She's done me some genuine damage in exacerbating my already social bad anxiety. But when I have dreams where she's been hurt or killed, it's so horrible bc she's still my lil sister :-(