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#of course this all makes other aspects of continuity more broken and confusing
pluckyredhead · 7 months
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How exactly was Jon Kent’s introduction handled? Did Clark essentially just bring him out like “hey guys, here’s my 10 year old son I haven’t told you about” ?
Thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about this, because it is Extremely Comics and I love it.
The short version is that Jon and his parents are from another dimension.
The long version is that prior to the New 52 in 2011, Lois and Clark had been married for years, so when that marriage was erased in the reboot, fans were pretty unhappy.
Then in 2015, DC published an event called Convergence. The plot isn't important, but basically they pulled in all these different versions of their characters from different universes: pre-Crisis Green Lantern, vampire Batman, 70s Wonder Woman, etc. And they brought back a LOT of pre-Flashpoint versions of characters. (I've always assumed it was a test to see if they should undo the New 52 and that the answer was a resounding yes.)
And so they brought back the pre-Flashpoint Lois and Clark just for this one event. In the four years since we'd seen the characters, Lois had gotten pregnant, and during Convergence, she gave birth to Jon.
At the end of the event, the pre-Flashpoint world was destroyed, but the Lane-Kent family was able to travel to the New 52 universe. Of course, the New 52 universe already had a Superman and Lois, so the pre-Flashpoint Clark and Lois decided to just...live like normal people, which they'd never been able to do before. They changed their last names to White and moved to California to raise their son in peaceful anonymity.
So Jon spent the first 10 years of his life in California as Jonathan Samuel White, and has no idea that he's from another dimension, that he's half alien, or that his father is Superman. But then his powers start to manifest, and it turns out it's really hard to keep a secret from a kid with X-ray vision, super hearing, and Lois Lane's smarts. Eventually, his parents have to 'fess up.
Here is the key point: when the Lane-Kents came to the New 52 universe, they arrived 10 years in the past. So if that story took place in 2015, when it was published, they actually arrived in 2005. Meaning that Jon developing his powers at 10 is happening in the present day. Does that make sense?
Soon after this, the New 52 Superman dies, and pre-Flashpoint Clark is like, "Well, someone should be Superman," so he puts his costume back on and introduces himself to the Justice League/the world as the Superman of another dimension.
A bit after that, the 2016 Rebirth reboot happened, which was deliberately designed to push DC canon closer to pre-Flashpoint canon.
Then the New 52 Lois also dies, and pre-Flashpoint Lois is like "I guess I'll just go to the office and pretend to be her," which is wild because she is at least 10 and probably more like 15-20 years older than New 52 Lois. Lois Lane ages like fine wine: confirmed.
THEN Mr. Mxyzptlk kidnaps Jon and traps him in a featureless void and makes his parents forget he exists. In that void, Jon encounters the souls of the dead New 52 Clark and Lois and accidentally swaps them with his parents. Then he yells "NO YOU LOVE EACH OTHER" until they remember who they really are and merge with their pre-Flashpoint counterparts to form new, cohesive versions of Lois and Clark who are simultaneously from the current universe but also have been married for years and love their son.
This also, you know, just casually reboots the universe so that everyone remembers Lois and Clark having been married with a kid for years. So Jon was incorporated into continuity as a 10-year-old, but then the rest of his life was retconned into existence so that, like, Perry and Jimmy remember holding him as a baby and stuff. (And Jon has no memory of living as Jon White or anything like that.)
Anyway, very straightforward and normal, not completely bonkers at all.
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dirtyglitterr · 10 months
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ꜰᴀᴛᴇᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ
Neymar Jr x Original Character Summary: ɪɴ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʜᴏᴏᴅ ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛʜᴇᴀʀᴛꜱ ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. ᴡᴀꜱ ɪᴛ ʙʏ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ꜰᴀᴛᴇ? ʜᴏᴡᴇᴠᴇʀ, ɪᴛ ɪꜱ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ᴘᴏꜱꜱɪʙʟᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴘᴀᴛʜꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴄʀᴏꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ.
Warnings: Mature Language
ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ
ʜɪꜱ ꜱɪᴅᴇ, ʜᴇʀ ꜱɪᴅᴇ & ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ
There's nothing better than a few glasses of wine and being around your best friends when it comes to curing a broken heart. Antonella and Georgina were at Mia's apartment, helping her pack her bags for her upcoming trip to Monaco tomorrow. One thing that both Georgina and Antonella couldn't miss was how quiet yet very heavy-handed she was with her wine pours all evening.
"I see you haven't taken it down," Georgina said from the end of the couch.
Mia shrugged, taking a sip of her wine. "I thought about it, and I want to start over." Mia sighed. "When I was with Mason, he controlled every aspect of my life except work. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to put myself out there more—with boundaries, of course."
Antonella nodded in agreement, saying, "You deserve to be happy, Mia." Mia returned a small, grateful smile.
Georgina smiled, lifting her wine glass for a toast, and said, "To boundaries." With that, the three friends clinked their glasses together and toasted.
Mia felt a sense of relief wash over her as she made the decision to start fresh. It was scary, but she knew it was the right thing to do. She had spent so long living in fear of Mason's reactions and expectations that she had forgotten what it was like to make her own choices. "Plus, it would make my mom happy." Mia adds, "I just don't know where to start."
"I know who else it would make happy." Antonella teased with a sly grin, causing Mia to blush.
"A familiar Brazilian heartthrob." Georgina grinned, nudging Mia's shoulder. But the atmosphere quickly soured once Anto and Gigi noticed how Mia's face fell at the insinuations of Neymar. "Ok, seriously, Mia, what the fuck is going on?" Georgina huffed as she leaned in towards Mia, her frustration growing with each passing moment. Georgina knew something was off with Mia when she greeted her at the door. Her energy was just off, and Georgina didn't want to make things worse by pushing the topic too much, but the fact that Mia was no longer a blushing mess when her husband's name was brought up was confusing.
Mia picked up the wine bottle from the ground and poured herself another glass. "We had a fight last night." She tells them, taking a sip of the red liquid while trying to compose herself.
"I told you he'd go crazy about you going to see Charles," Georgina said.
"Actually, I still haven't told him about that."
"Mia, you're literally packing, and he still doesn't know?" she asked, her gaze fixed on Mia's face.
"Fuck that she's single; he knows the drill." Georgina rolled her eyes. "It's not like she's cheating on him, Anto."
Antonella raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "What did you two possibly fight about?" Anto asked, curious.
Mia hesitated before admitting, "I brought up the annulment and that getting married was a drunken mistake." Mia sighed. "That's how it started anyway."
-
"A drunken mistake?!" Lionel exclaimed, his voice tinged with disbelief.
"She clearly hasn't seen the footage," Sergio replied with a smirk. Lionel shook his head, watching as Sergio aimed and sank a difficult shot into the corner pocket.
Neymar sighed heavily and took a long sip of his drink. "She's right, though we both got out of serious relationships that fucked us mentally," he admitted to his friends. "Maybe pushing this is the wrong call." Sergio and Lionel exchanged concerned glances, silently urging Neymar to continue.
"Please." Lionel scoffed, not believing him for a minute; he knew how much he loved Mia. If anything, Lionel knew that Mia calling it a drunken mistake would crush Neymar, but he knew it was a lie. It was clear that the two of them were hopelessly in love with each other, but they were too stubborn to admit it.
"What else happened?" asked Sergio, sensing there was more to Neymar's confession.
Neymar took a deep breath before continuing, his eyes flickering between his two friends. "That was it, really."
Sergio laughed, patting him on the shoulder, saying, "You're a bad fucking liar."
Neymar couldn't help but smile, knowing that his friends knew him too well. "Okay, fine," he admitted. "She told me that she loved me." Both Lio and Sergio's eyes widened at Neymar's revelation. They had suspected the truth all along, but hearing it confirmed still came as a surprise. "I knew it!" exclaimed Lionel, grinning from ear to ear. Sergio simply shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips.
"So what did you say?" Sergio prodded. 
-
"He fucking friend-zoned you!" Her friends exclaimed in disbelief,
"He said that he only loved me as a friend." Mia said sadly, "Nothing more, nothing less," trying to hold back tears. "I guess I just misread his signals."
Antonella couldn't believe that Neymar, of all people, had the nerve to friend-zone Mia, especially with everything Lionel has been telling her. Both she and her husband, Lionel, were certain about how their friends felt about each other, so this wasn't making any sense. Neymar practically begged her to do everything in her power to delay the annulment between him and Mia, all for what for him just to break her fucking heart.
"He's obviously lying, Mia," Antonella said, holding her best friend's hand in comfort while Georgina wrapped her arm around Mia's shoulder. Mia let out a heavy sigh and rested her head on Gigi's shoulder, feeling the weight of all the emotions she had been carrying. She couldn't believe how blind she had been, not realizing Neymar's true intentions all this time.
"I doubt it; I guess your speech about how he lit up whenever he saw me was just bullshit," Mia said bitterly, her voice cracking with emotion. "I can't believe I fell for it. I thought he was different, but he's just like all the other guys who only want to play games with my heart." Antonella and Georgina exchanged a sympathetic look, knowing that there was nothing they could say to ease their friend's pain.
"Everyone sees how he acts around you, Mia; it wasn't bullshit," Antonella spoke up, trying to reassure her friend. "But maybe he's just not ready for a serious relationship right now. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you."
Georgina nodded in agreement, adding, "And if he's not willing to give you the respect and commitment you deserve, then he's not worth your time."
"I think I loved him before I even knew what that feeling meant." Mia's voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke, tears streaming down her face.
Antonella and Georgina exchanged a sympathetic glance, both understanding the pain of unrequited love all too well. "I'm going to murder him."
-
Neymar's smile faded slightly as he thought back to the moment. "I didn't say anything," he admitted. "I just kissed her." The three friends shared a knowing look, understanding the weight of that action. It was clear that Neymar was in deep with this girl, and they were all happy for him. Neymar shrugged. "I didn't say anything back. I was too shocked."
"Bro, you friend-zoned her?" Sergio asked in disbelief. "After all that, you didn't say anything?" Neymar shook his head, still processing what had happened.
"When a woman says that you love her as a friend, it's actually her asking you if you love her more than that. That was your moment to come clean, not friend zone her, Neymar." Lionel stressed,
"I just didn't expect it," he said with a sigh. His friends exchanged puzzled glances, wondering how he could be so clueless about his own feelings. "I froze. I fucking froze and didn't say anything, and since then she's been distant."
"Well, no shit you friendzoned her." Lionel scoffed, "You missed your chance, to be honest with her, and now you have to deal with the consequences. If you really care about her, you need to talk to her and make things right. Otherwise, you might lose her forever."
"I know," he sighed deeply, "All that was on my mind was everything on her plate." Neymar confessed, "She's got her mom, her business, and that crazy fucking ex to worry about. The last thing I wanted to do was push too hard and ruin everything. So I froze."
Lionel nodded understandingly, saying, "I get it, but sometimes not saying anything can be just as damaging. You don't want her to feel like you're not interested or that you're not willing to support her through everything."
Neymar ran a hand over his bearded jaw, deep in his thoughts. He knew Lionel was right, but the fear of causing any harm was paralyzing him. He had to find a way to communicate his feelings without overwhelming her. "I know, man. I need to be sure, I guess."
"Bro, she's your wife. How sure do you need it to be." Sergio chuckled, "You act all flirty and touchy like a schoolboy when you're around her, and she gives you the chance to make her your for real wife, and you fuck it up."
Neymar rolled his eyes. "It's not that simple, Sergio. I have a lot on my plate right now with my career and everything." "
I get that," Sergio replied, "but don't let your fear of commitment ruin something good. You love her, man. Don't let her slip away." 
-
"I say keep fuck him. Go to Monaco with an open mind and heart, and get to know Charles." Georgina said encouragingly.
Mia sniffed, drinking more of her wine. "I don't know, Georgina. I feel like I've been burned so many times that I'm not sure if I have anything left to give." Mia replied, her voice laced with hesitation. "Especially what Kaylin told me after the game."
"Mia, that fucker has it out for Neymar; you literally can't let him be a verified source," Antonella said, joining in the conversation. This was news to her; Mia had not once mentioned ever having a conversation with Kaylin after the game.
"So Neymar constantly cheating on his ex isn't true?" Mia scoffed. At this point, she'd hate to say it, but Neymar's so-called sworn enemy was the only one whoes words were actually the truth. "Or him being overly flirty with brunettes was that a lie too?" she asked, rolling her eyes. "I just don't know who or what to believe anymore. It's exhausting."
"If anything, that bitch was the cheater, not him," Antonella said bitterly at the thought of his ex Bruna. "She was always the one flirting with other guys behind his back. Neymar just got caught up in the drama because he's famous."
Georgina nodded in agreement, saying, "It's hard to know what's true and what's not when it comes to celebrities, but that bitch was always the problem, trust us."
"All he's done is flirt with me, call me his wife, and stir up my feelings, making me think that maybe being his wife wouldn't be such a bad thing," Mia mumbled sadly.
"Which it wouldn't, plus you two would have the cutest babies," Georgina said, trying to lighten the mood.
Mia's eyes widened at Georgina's comment, but she couldn't help but smile at the thought of having children with him. However, she knew deep down that it was just a fantasy and that he would never truly love her. "You can forget about it because, as his friend, I'm going to make sure that this marriage gets annulled so I can marry someone who actually fucking loves me." 
-
 After Neymar broke the news to his friends, their interest in hanging out and playing pool went out the window. Both Sergio and Lionel had one job, and that was knocking some sense into their best friend. "I'm going to give her the space she needs," Neymar said, taking a drink of his beer. He didn't know what else to do. He already fucked up by not admitting how he felt about Mia at that moment. I guess he felt that maybe if he gave her the space that she was taking, he'd be able to go back in and fix everything.
"You already know Anto, especially Gigi, is telling her something different right now," Sergio commented from his end of the couch. Neymar sighed, knowing that his friends were probably right. But he couldn't help but hope that Mia would eventually come back to him. He took another sip of his beer, lost in thought.
Suddenly, Neymar's phone rang. He scrambled to pick it up, hoping it was Mia on the other end. To his disappointment, it was just his friend Lewis. "Ei Lewis, e aí, cara, você está no viva-voz."
"Quem está com você?" Lewis asked. Neymar glanced over at his friends on the couch and hesitated for a moment before answering.
"Sergio and Gabriel are here with me," he said, wondering why Lewis was asking.
"Bro, I thought you said Mia was your girl," Lewis asked him, causing Neymar to feel a pang of guilt.
He took a swig of his beer before responding. "She is, but we're not exclusive or anything yet. It's a work in progress." Lio and Sergio rolled their eyes knowingly as they listened in on Neymar's conversation with Lewis. Too bad he was too pussy to tell her how he really felt about her to her face. They all knew that Mia was more than a "work in progress" when it came to Neymar.
"I know you told me that, and as your boy, I backed off out of respect," Lewis replied.
"Yeah, and I appreciate it that no one knew who she was to me," Neymar said, grateful for Lewis's discretion. "But I think it's time to take things to the next level with her. I just need to figure out how to do it without messing things up."
"You better get to it because I heard from Russell, who told me he heard from fucking Verstappen, who heard from Pierre that Leclerc invited her to Monaco to watch him race," Lewis explained, his tone serious.
"Monaco? That's a big move," Sergio said, raising an eyebrow. "Looks like you're not the only one interested in her."
"Who are any of those people?" Lionel scoffed, clearly not understanding the references.
"Formula One drivers, Lio, keep up man," Lewis replied, "and Leclerc is one of the best. If he's inviting her to Monaco, it means he's really interested in her."
"How do you know any of this is even true?" Neymar asked, standing from his seat and pacing around the room. "Maybe it's just a rumor." Neymar tried to reason with his friends, questioning its validity, but his nervous pacing around the room suggested that he was secretly hoping it wasn't true. "I wish it was just a rumor," Lewis said, his voice heavy. "He slid into her DM on IG after meeting her in Paris. Called her the other day, FaceTimed all of that, and invited her."
The room fell silent as everyone processed the news. It was clear that Neymar was deeply hurt by the situation. "Ha! He's lying; Mia doesn't even have an Instagram." Lionel spoke up, casting doubt on the validity of the evidence. "Are you sure it was really Mia?" Neymar asked.
"Bro, I saw the messages—don't ask how I got them; I have my ways—she left him on read on IG, but the text is where they were confirming everything for Monaco for this weekend." Lewis remained adamant.
Both Sergio and Lionel wasted no time in needing to see for themselves if one of their most private friends had finally joined the social media world. They quickly pulled out their phones and searched for Mia's Instagram account, but to no avail. They found it. "This reeks of Georgina," Lionel grumbled, looking at the selection of photos on Mia's account. "She's been trying to get Mia to join social media for months now." Sergio nodded in agreement.
Mia was a beautiful woman; they all knew that, but the fact that she was finally posting made Neymar nervous. He couldn't help but wonder what kind of attention she would attract and if she was prepared for the inevitable barrage of messages and comments. Despite his concerns, he couldn't deny that he was curious to see what kind of content Mia would share with the world. So while keeping Lewis on speaker, he hopped on Instagram to find her page.
He scrolled through her feed, admiring the carefully curated photos of her travels and friends. It was a side of Mia that he had never seen before, and he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy at the thought of all the experiences she had without him. Would she post photos of her and that fucker Charles before him?
"Why is she not following me?" Lionel scoffed in disbelief, saying, "This is definitely fucking Georgina's work."
"All I'm saying is that you might think she's your girl, but she's single until you claim her publicly," Lewis said from the speaker of Neymar's phone, causing him to sigh, realizing that Lewis had a point. Neymar couldn't keep assuming that Mia was his without making a public declaration. Hell, she wanted him to admit it to her the other day, and he fucking choked. "Thanks for letting me know, man," he said before hanging up the phone.
"Still think not being honest was the best thing?" Sergio asked, raising an eyebrow as he watched Neymar's expression. Neymar shook his head, feeling a sense of regret wash over him. He knew he had to make things right with Mia and publicly claim her as his girlfriend-wife, or whatever before someone else did.
"I guess I'm going to Monaco," Neymar smirked.
ᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ʙᴇʟᴏᴡ
🇹​​🇭​​🇦​​🇳​​🇰​​🇸​ ​🇫​​🇴​​🇷​ ​🇷​​🇪​​🇦​​🇩​​🇮​​🇳​​🇬
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bbyeeti · 1 year
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(Character Analysis anon returns with my 2 am analysis! Hopefully its coherent because I did not edit this at all!)
(Its no longer hypothetical character analysis now lol)
So Park Sunghoon. There's so much to say about him but today we're focusing on why he's so "chill" in his situation.
(He's not chill.)
Park Sunghoon is a psych major who was introduced to the supernatural when one of his classmates, Jay, bites him at a party said classmate was hosting. Now, Sunghoon has to deal with all forms of supernatural absurdity from vampires, werewolves, soulmates, reincarnation, and more!
Based on that description you'd think Sunghoon was just some normal person who got unwilling dragged into the supernatural world, right?
Wrong.
This guy has so many issues that predate entering the supernatural world that influence his actions.
Sunghoon has suffered through many life changing, world upending events but I'm mainly going to focus on the effects that they had on his behavior when we meet him in the story.
At the beginning of the story Sunghoon had just recently broken up with Hajoon for reasons that he denied mentioning to either of his close friends: Jake (who had seen him at his worst) and Jungwon. In later flashbacks, the night that Sunghoon left that he lied to Jungwon about the injury Hajoon had caused. He constantly downplays what happened between them until Jay forces him to confront the truth about Hajoon's attempt at drugging Sunghoon at the party. Sunghoon was perfectly fine with never speaking about what happened that night between him and Hajoon. He was doing everything he could to avoid the confrontation and any of the help his friends could have provided. He just left his emotions to fester in the background so that he could continue operating in the day to day.
This type of behavior also occurs whenever, he is drawn back into thinking about figure skating. When his thoughts begin to linger on the topic he forcible changes his focus and avoids the topic. Like when Heeseung asked about his scar initially, he steps around the truth and gives them an answer that is technically true but lacking all the context. However, this was fairly early in their relationship so I don't fault him completely for not showing vulnerability.
Of course, Sunghoon doesn't always deny himself help from others and relies on people but he also has a habit of relying on the wrong people. Case in point: Niki.
Now the above behavior explains partly why Sunghoon is "chill" as he is instead focusing on aspects that he can control and distancing himself from the more vulnerable parts of himself. However, its his care for (some) others.
(Mainly Jake, Jungwon, but then it includes Jay, Heeseung, and Niki to an extent)
Sunghoon is a person with big feelings but most notably he is a person who prioritizing others above himself. When he and Jungwon get into a fight and Jake runs after Sunghoon, Sunghoon tells him to go after Jungwon. He lets Sunoo drink from him when Sunoo was half feral because he was Jungwon's friend. When fake Niki attacks him, he doesn't want to hurt him because he knows that Niki is important to Jay and Heeseung--and Sunghoon cares about all of them to varying extent and with differing degrees of mixed emotions.
So when everything goes to hell, Sunghoon is trying to make the best of a situation because he doesn't want to burden others. After the skin-walker attack he makes sure both Heeseung and Jake are reasonably okay even though he was almost murdered again. He's pushing down the exhaustion and the terror because people he cares about need him to be okay even if he isn't.
Sunghoon is not unphased by what's happening. More often than not, when something major happens, Sunghoon is terrified. He's confused, uncertain, and reckless at times. For all that Sunghoon tries to bury his head in the sand, he does a remarkably bad job at not doing anything when something major happens. He goes to the club in search of answers, tries to take care of Heeseung and Jake in the aftermath of Jungwon's memories being wiped, and steals the card back from Heeseung. He's a mess but he's human and he's trying.
In conclusion, I believe Sunghoon's chillness with his entire world being flipped over is in part to having experienced that already (albeit in a different way), tendencies toward self reliance and avoidance, and him prioritizing others over himself.
(OK take all of this with a lot of skepticism since its been a while since I've reread everything from the beginning. Furthermore, I am not a psychologist or psych major so my assumptions on how someone with Sunghoon's trauma would react in this situation can be widely off base.)
(Also this was a way more serious answer for the joke that GenX can fight a police officer but can't make phone calls lol).
(Also I lied. I did edit it. There were too many typos not to)
In the future I might do character analysis/impressions on everybody but its just Sunghoon for now.
First of all I stopped going on tumblr besides weekends but hell I was so interested to see if you sent it so here I am T^T
And for real, it was really good to read your point of view/take/analysis, and it's impressive you've decided to spend that much time on Sunghoon. He's not the strongest, he's not the smartest, he's... Yeah, a human trying his best. I think he's rather underrated, you know, so thanks for being... kind to him?
To say that there's something more to Sunghoon not freaking out than GenZ mindset is one thing, but to actually see it is something else, so ofc props to you for doing so ^^
I agree with your take because there isn't anything that is actually wrong there - Sunghoon tries to keep his emotions in check and he's used to pretending he's alright. He doesn't like confrontations because he is too anxious to fight people in situations like this, like with Hajoon, where he'd have to talk about what happened exactly. He doesn't like exposing that he's vulnerable even though sometimes it's obvious. If you remember the beginnings of his relationship with Jay, he didn't want to be seen as weak by him and didn't feel good when he showed that he was hurt.
He prioritises other people - if he cares about them - over himself because he doesn't want to lose them. But he defended Ni-ki not only because he didn't want him to die. So why? Because Sunghoon's not dumb, he knew what would happen if Jake killed him.
And yeah, he seems to be chill about ahm stuff like being murdered because he's used to it. For example to caring for himself when he's hurt. I know it hasn't been showed in the story yet, but he has a long story of self-harming, and it's not that he let Jake in immediately.
Being exposed to such a different world should be a shock, but Sunghoon has already died once, on ice, so why would he be afraid? BESIDES BEING A GEN Z He's now sticking to the routine because he doesn't want to think about what he's lost - he's lost a huge part of himself. It's not something you can replace easily, this is why you don't think about it.
Sunghoon wants rouitne and doesn't like changes but at the same time - I don't think he knows that - he rotates towards them, towards danger, the thrill of it, because this is something that brings him out of his shell. Although he still has some serious mental issues, he's not weak because of it, he just doesn't realise it yet - yeah, you're not weak because you have anxiety, you're afraid of phone calls or crowds, or you decide to stay passive in an argument because you know how difficult it is to win soberly against an angry person.
ALL IN ALL thanks for coming to my ted talk and thank you again for writing your comment for me! When I read this, I felt like I got a present for my birthday. Have you ever gotten a kpop album from your friend who'd never listened to kpop so you didn't expect it? Yeah the feeling is similar. Uh, if you ever decide writing something similar on other characters, I promise I won't answer with an essay xD
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sxmmander · 1 year
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These Violent Acts CH 03 - House of the Dragon fic
THESE VIOLENT ACTS CHAPTER 03 |  BETWEEN GODS AND MEN
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They would bow. She would make them bow.
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Naenya had awoken in a haze that day. There was a heavy feeling in her chest and a pain in her stomach. It was only when she left her bed did she realise why.
Blood.
She had bled that very night. The night her mother died was the night the Gods decided she was to become a woman. What a sick joke.
The handmaidens had come in, each one noticing the stain on her dress and her bed and each one had congratulated her on her womanhood. A womanhood she had begun without her mother.
She stared intensely at the dress she had discarded, the dress that was painted with a stark warning of what her future held. A future all women were subjected to at some time. A future that not all women got to live through.
She was only broken from her trance by the knock on her bedroom door. As she placed her rings and jewels on, finishing her first outfit as a woman, Ser Loren entered with a bow.
"Princess, The King wishes to see you in his chambers," Ser Loren said, averting his eyes as her bloodied dress and sheets were taken away, "Um, congratulations..."
"Thank you, Ser Loren," Naenya said, rolling her eyes at his discomfort as he hurried out, "Honestly, that man,"
Stepping away from her handmaidens, she began her walk through the halls of the Red Keep to her father's chambers. The Keep had become much quieter, more solemn, since her mother's death. She hardly even noticed the maids and knights that walked the halls with her. She almost hated it.
"Your Grace," Naeyna announced her arrival, pushing the door open.
Viserys Targaryen was seated near his Old Valeryia model, toying with a piece in his hand.
"Naenya, good, come in," Viserys stood up, making his way over to a chess table, "Would you like to play?"
Naenya paused, watching her father closely.
"You don't play chess," Naenya said, tentivitely taking a seat.
"I play a bit of chess, and you can teach me the rest," Viserys said, choosing the white chess pieces for his side, "Now tell me, which piece is the most powerful piece?"
Naenya watched her father tentatively, unsure of what sort of game her father was trying to play. He had hardly uttered a word to her since Aemma's death. Not even at the funeral had he bothered to bestow some sort of support onto her. If anything, Naenya had been completely shut out by her father. But now, all of a sudden, he was wanting to play the game she always played with her mother.
"Well, that depends on what you mean. You need the King to continue the game, without him you have lost, so he is mighty in that way," Naenya explained, knowing she couldn't ignore her father, since he was King, "But he can't move very well. The Queen has the best range of movements, making her the most powerful in that aspect. And, of course, the pawn can change into a Queen if you get them to the other side of the chess set, and the pawn can be utilised to help your other pieces. He's sometimes an unnoticed power,"
Viserys nodded, clearly pleased by her answer. He moved his first pawn, beginning the game.
"What makes a King a King?"
"In the game? It's just the piece,"
"In real life,"
Naenya furrowed her brow, taking out his rook with her knight. Viserys attention was mostly focused on her, hardly sparing a second glance at the chess board as he randomly moved his pieces around. She tried to keep her eyes on the pieces, but found herself looking up at her father in confusion very often.
"Family name, the ability to wield power given to you, unwavering loyalty through both respect and fear... many things make a King," Naenya said, perturbed by her father's constant stare, "But one of the main parts, in our case, is dragons,"
"Dragons made us Kings?"
"Without dragons, we are a powerful and influential house, but so are the Baratheons, Starks and Lannisters," Naenya said, moving her rook, "Dragons are what sets us apart from the rest of Westeros. We are fire and blood because of dragons,"
"Our control of dragons makes us powerful?"
"Our bonding of dragons, no one person can truly control such a beast. Just like how no one person can truly control a Targaryen,"
Viserys smiled, nodding along at her words.
Naenya struggled to keep her attention on the game, trying to stare through her father's eyes to see what was going on in his brain. The only times she had been brought into his chambers, the focus had always been on his model. He hardly ever took an interest in her chess prowess.
"I'm confusing you," Visery let out a small chuckle, taking out her pawn, "I might just win this yet,"
"What is it that you want, father?"
Viserys took a deep breath, his fingers dancing over different pieces as he deliberated over his next move.
Finally, he moved the Queen.
"I have decided to name you my heir,"
Naenya took a sharp breath, the rook in her hand clattering back to the board as she stared at her father. Her face was washed blank with confusion, her brain unable turn to take in the information from her wide eyes.
"What about Daemon?" Her voice trailed slowly.
"He is not fit to rule the seven kingdoms," Viserys explained gently, "But you are. You are everything Westeros needs right now, you are kind and thoughtful, but that doesn't take away from your keen sense of right and wrong. You have always been smarter than I, and you understand the delicate balance that is ruling,"
Naenya turned her attention the chess board, her eyes glued on the King as the words swirled through her brain. She only seemed able to comprehend the first part of Viserys words. Daemon had been thrown from his position as heir. He would not take the offence with dignity. Her head snapped towards the door. She was surprised he hadn't strode through with Dark Sister yet.
"It doesn't matter whether he's fit or not, this will greatly anger him," Naenya said, her voice hardly a whisper, "What have you done to compensate him? Maybe if you make him hand-"
"I do not need to give him anything," Viserys' voice was hard, "This is my decision as King,"
Her mind began whirring again, finally focusing on her position in all of this. She had been named heir. Naenya Targaryen, a female, had been named heir to the Iron Throne. The world would turn to chaos.
"You can't just choose a female heir," Naenya said, her mind returning to her second cousin.
"I can, and I did," Viserys said, taking her hand in his, "It's something I should have done that moment you were born, but I was so consumed with having a male heir I could hardly see the truth. No more, I see you as my heir,"
Her lip trembled, her eyes burning as she cast her gaze upon the lights to prevent her tears from escaping. Her father may have condemned her to a life of struggle, but he did so with such love and hope that Naenya couldn't help but grip his hand back.
Her eyes returned the the chess board, a frown tugging at her lips. She had a long way to go before she was close to being truly considered the rightful claimant of the Iron Throne by the Lords of the Seven Kingdoms.
"I will need to take a journey around the Seven Kingdoms," Naenya said, her heart panging as she realised she wouldn't return home for some time, "I must feast with the Lords of the Great Houses, visit them and gain their loyalty,"
It was Viserys' turn to be painted with surprise, his brows furrowing as his hand slipped from hers.
"All the Lords are coming to Kings Landing to pledge their loyalty to you," Viserys explained, the chess game forgotten, "No King has ever needed to go on a tour of the Seven Kingdoms and their Lords,"
"No King has, but a Queen must," Naenya said, as though it was apparent, "They can make their oaths all they want, but I must win their hearts to gain their true loyalty. You have their loyalty because you are King, a male ruler. I will need to do more,"
"Don't be ridiculous,"
"I'm not, and it's what must be done. I could be the second coming of Jaehaeyrs himself, and it would not be enough," Naenya said, biting the skin off her lip as she thought, "I need to do this, father,"
Viserys was silent for a moment. Perhaps he hadn't realised what he was truly throwing his daughter, but he couldn't back out now.
"Alright, as my heir, I must respect what you believe to be the best way forward," Viserys said, his hand cupping her cheek, "But I do not do it with happiness,"
Naenya smiled, her hand moving to cover his, "I will be back, father. You will need to teach me the ways of court ruling too. I won't be gone longer than seven or so months,"
"I hope it passes quickly. The Keep won't be the same without you," Viserys said, his eyes lowering to his dagger, "But as you have to stay until the Lords pledge their loyalty, there is something else I must tell you. A prophecy... or dream,"
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how to fake date your best friend | jake sim
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✰ summary: the rules were simple -
pretend to be the boyfriend of you, his best friend who wants the attention of their crush, for a week and a week only
no kissing (bc gross cooties amirite) allowed, unless needed in times of desperate measure 
and no matter what, absolutely, most definitely, do not fall in love. 
simple, right?
well apparently not. because news flash––jake's already broken one of the rules. 
and to give you a hint, it's neither rule 1 or 2.
✰ pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. members of enha!] 
✰ genre: fluff, comedy | fakingdating!au, highschool!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers
✰ warnings: cursing, high-schoolers doing dumb highschool things, underage drinking (pls don’t actually do any of this irl), jake being a certified simp, it’s LONG (i’m so sorry), cheesy kithes bc im a sucker for kithes ( ˘ ³˘)♥
✰ wc: a whopping 9.5k
✰ a/n: it’s finally finished :’)))))) it ended up being much longer than i wanted but i had so much fun writing the characters that i got carried away lolol anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy it,,,i got a little unmotivated during the process bc i didn’t know if it was good or not but here it is heh (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ 
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Tuesday, December 8th
Jake Sim lives a simple life. 
He likes to think he leads the normal, stereotypical life of a teenage boy. Has decent grades, plays soccer after school, skateboards around the neighborhood, has a best friend who he’s desperately in love with, and has a stable group of friends. 
Okay, maybe not so simple, because this boy would physically launch himself to the moon and drill at its surface to collect moon dust for you if you asked him to––despite his deadly fear of combusting in outer space. 
But that fear doesn’t even compare to his worst one yet: not having you in his life. 
And so, he decided to just repress any and all feelings he’s had for you ever since he discovered them in middle school, when he realized he hated seeing you go to the eighth grade dance with a date––that wasn’t him. 
He decided that he wasn’t going to risk losing a life-long friendship over some dumb, teenage boy feelings. 
They were probably powered by his testosterone anyways. Yeah, that’s totally it.
He’s totally not in love with you. 
So yes, he lives a pretty normal life. Every day is the same as the last, and tomorrow will be the same as today. But he likes it like that––he doesn’t want anything to change. 
Especially not now, when he finds himself content with every aspect of his life (okay maybe except for his history grade, god, does he hate history). 
So, it catches him off guard when you arrive at the group’s usual lunch table, located outside in your school’s courtyard, looking as excited as ever. 
Jake’s the only one at the table so far. The remaining usually showed up late––Heeseung spends his first half of lunch tutoring freshmen for community service hours (but the poor boy has no idea what he’s doing), Sunghoon is probably stuck in line in the cafeteria again (he always forgets to pack his own lunch), and Jay is...well actually, no one ever knows where Jay comes from. He’s a special one. 
It catches Jake even more off guard when you skip over any greeting a normal person would give, and start speaking at one hundred words per second. 
And that catches us up to the present.
“Y-You want me to what?” Jake’s stuttering as you stare at him with your hopeful eyes from across the lunch table. 
Despite the expression planted on your face, which screams your excitement for your “brilliant, amazing, genius, Einstein-could-never” idea (or whatever other words you used to describe it––Jake can’t exactly recall the specific terms you used, they all came out of your mouth too fast), you don’t respond to his question of bafflement. You continue to stare at him, awaiting his response. Jake could compare the look on your face right now to a puppy looking up at its owner, eagerly waiting for a treat. You know, tongue out and all. 
He swallows the lump that’s lodged in this throat (is that the sandwich he’s having, or his nerves?) and continues to give you his look of confusion laced with a nervous smile because surely, you’re joking. 
You grab what’s left of your sandwich from his hands and take your own bite. Somewhere in between you arriving at the table and now, Jake’s managed to steal the sandwich you brought today. You did make the best chicken sandwiches, in his defense. 
“Well? It’s only for the week! And I promise you, after one week, if nothing happens––if he doesn’t make a move or anything––I’ll move on from him like you’ve been telling me to.” Your words are muffled from you savoring your sandwich, or what’s left of it anyways. (Mental note to self: don’t share your lunch with Jake ever again.) 
When Jake still doesn’t respond (you’ve truly gotten this poor boy paralyzed), you find it as a sign to continue. 
“I think it’s the perfect plan. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, it’ll be like the universe is telling me to finally move on, right?” 
Wrong. 
Jake has been encouraging you to move on from your crush because well, if we’re being honest here, he selfishly wants you to himself. Even if it wasn’t romantically.
Preferably, he would kill to get to be the one who holds your hand in the hall, call you cheesy pet names, post disgustingly cute couple pics for the ‘gram––but for the sake of potentially ruining his relationship with you, he’ll just have to settle with the role of being your best friend. 
(And he’s totally fine with that! Totally. Yup.) 
But he didn’t think that you moving on would only be a mere possible outcome (that may not even happen!) from whatever this stunt is you wanna pull. 
Said stunt: Pretend to date one another and hope it catches the eye of a certain someone you have your eye on: Park Sunghoon. 
Ah yes, Park Sunghoon. The previously mentioned one who’s probably still in line waiting to get his lunch as we speak. 
Park Sunghoon, the tall, kind, intelligent, charming young boy that everyone knows. And if anyone didn’t know him, they most definitely knew of him. He wasn’t hard to miss in the halls; everything about him just radiates perfection. 
If you plucked a random high-schooler from the halls of this school and interviewed them on the Park Sunghoon, they’d say you’d be lucky enough if the quiet boy so much as sparked a conversation with you, even if it was about what last night’s chemistry homework was. 
Well if that were true, then you and the rest of the boys would be considered lottery winners. 
How that happened, how the four of you dysfunctional beings earned his friendship, the world may never know. However, Jake is fully convinced that this was the universe’s way of playing a cruel joke on him. 
For as long as Jake could remember, it’s always been just the two of you. You and Jake. Jake and you. (With the exception of Heeseung and Jay, of course, who came along in middle school) 
In fact, your earliest memory of Jake was when he peed his pants in the kindergarten during nap time. You would know, you had the privilege of sharing a sleeping mat with him that one fateful day and in result...let’s just say the smell didn’t wear off from your clothes until a week later. Five-year-old you didn’t forgive five-year-old Jake for the longest time. 
And since then, you’ve been attached by the hip. And Jake liked it like that. Jake didn’t need anyone else in his life (with the exception of Leila) if he had you. He had found his home within you, and he didn’t plan on sharing his space anytime soon. 
Nevertheless, the universe had a completely different idea for the two of you. 
Sunghoon came into the picture last year, towards the end of the school year. Despite being the new kid, he found his way into your cherished friend group and naturally, the five of you grew as close as friends could be. 
That was the problem. Jake wanted to hate Sunghoon, to despise him for being the one that you had heart eyes for, but he couldn’t. 
Not only was Sunghoon one of Jake’s closest friends, but he didn’t want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group. After you, the three chaotic boys were the next most important people in Jake’s life. 
And so, we have the typical love triangle plot that every coming-of-age movie follows. Of course, this is all unbeknownst to you––you may be intelligent and a people-person, but oh boy can you not see the heart eyes your very own best friend has for you. 
“It’ll be easier than you think, really! Look, we can even set boundaries or rules or whatever,” you propose, as if you’re trying to get him to sign a contract. 
Rules to a fake relationship? We’re not living in a Netflix romcom, are we? 
“Okay rule number 1: it’ll only be for a week and a week only, rule number 2: we don’t have to do anything too couple-ly like...” you pause to wonder for a second. 
“Like PDA or anything! You know, unless we really need to convince him,” you casually add. When he responds with radio silence and stares at you with absolute concern painted all over his face, you cough. “Jake, I’m joking.” 
Right. Of course. Obviously. 
“And of course, just try not to fall in love with me, it’ll be hard, I know,” you send a playful wink his way. 
Too late. Turns out it’s not that hard. Jake would know. 
Jake continues to stare at you in hesitation. Yeah, you’ve had your fair share of crazy ideas (that Jake always find himself agreeing to––the poor boy just can’t seem to say no to you), but fake dating you?
Jake is sure he wouldn’t be able to pull it off without slowly destroying himself. He’d just have to say no, he’s sure you can find someone else to do it for you. 
Yes, that’s it, just say no. 
Jake has to keep some of his pride in tact. 
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Jake does not say no. 
He doesn’t know what went wrong. His mind said one thing, but his words said another. 
To be fair, Jake’s actions have always been influenced by his heart, not his brain, anyways. And when it comes to you, you bet it’ll be coming from his heart. 
So here he was now, under the stare of three equally shocked and confused guys across from you and him at the lunch table, your fingers intertwined with his.
Just a few seconds ago, you had spotted the rest of the lunch bunch approaching the table, and you quickly grabbed Jake’s hand and scooted in closer to him.  
Now here you were, explaining to your friends of your sudden relationship.  
Jake is too zoned out to even physically pick up your explanation. Something along the lines of "we’ve been dating for a while but didn’t want to tell you guys yet." From the feeling of your hand clutched tightly into his and your body right up next to him, his mind was short-circuiting. 
How is he supposed to last an entire week of this if he couldn't handle innocent hand holding? Hand holding? God, what are we, back in the fifth grade?  
Two minutes into this scheme and Jake's mind has already downgraded itself to a fifth grader's.  
Jake mentally scolds himself for giving in, this was not a good idea. 
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It takes Jake approximately 12 hours to conclude that this stunt of yours may, actually, be a good idea. He knows this because approximately 12 hours after the events surrounding lunch, he receives a text from you: 
y/n [12:03AM]: thanks again for doing this for me jake
y/n [12:03AM]: ur actually the best
y/n [12:04AM]: ew ok that was cheesy but really i owe u a big one <333
Following your thread of texts is a really close up photo of you widely smiling into the camera. A smile so big, Jake’s convinced your face was probably in pain after taking that picture. 
Anyone else might’ve thought the photo looked borderline insane but because Jake’s Jake, aka a simpᵗᵐ for you, he comes to the conclusion that it’s singlehandedly the cutest thing he’s ever seen in the entire world. 
After quickly saving the selfie into his phone, Jake tells himself that maybe this won’t be a bad thing after all. I mean, anything that makes you smile like that meant it has to be a good idea, right? 
Spoken like a true simp. 
Plus, dating you––fake dating you––is pretty much the same as it was before. He already spends most of his days with you to begin with. Now, it’s just with added displays of affection. For show, obviously. Obviously. 
And look, if Jake will never get to actually be with you, then he’ll take what he can get. And if that meant fake dating you, well, he reasons that it’s better than nothing at all. 
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Wednesday, December 9th 
Jake’s playing with the rings on your right hand and you’re in the middle of dramatically telling the lunch table about the infuriating Karen you had to deal with at work the other day when Jay comes up with a grin you all know a little too well. 
“Okay that grin means one of two things: you finally grew the balls to ask out that poor girl you’ve been teasing all year or you have something planned that we won’t like,” you interrupt your story when you catch Jay’s sly expression, evoking a chuckle from Jake, who’s now found a new distraction with the bracelets perches on your wrist. 
“Excuse you, I’ll have you know that I did ask her out. It just so happens that she’s currently ‘in between boyfriends’ whatever that means. Ouch, by the way,” Jay feigns hurt from your comment by clutching the area above his heart through his shirt. Ever the drama queen. “But yes, I do have something planned. And no, it’s not a bad idea.” 
Jay squeezes his way in between Sunghoon and Heeseung from across you and begins to pull out his own lunch. Everyone’s eyes follow him as he settles in because as bad as his unknown idea may be, you’re all still curious on what this boy has to say. 
“Well are you going to elaborate or...” Heeseung speaks up for everyone after you all mentally debate one another through darting eyes on who’s going to have to bite Jay’s silent bait.
Jay then forcefully sets both hands on his table, which elicits a little jump from you as you go for a bite of your sandwich. Adorable, Jake tells himself. 
“My parents are out of town this weekend. We all know what that means...” 
Yes. We do know what that means. The four of you have seen this scenario play out many times, a little too many times for your own good. 
This meant one of Jay’s infamous house parties that he always throws whenever his parents go out of town. And because his parents are hot-shot CEOs of an important company whose name you don’t remember (it’s nothing personal, your brain can only handle so much information and this physics exam you were studying for took up 90% of your brain capacity at the moment), they’re out of town often. 
And along with Jay’s parties comes chaos. Lots of it. And that’s because...well, it’s safe to say that despite the many school-wide presentations the police officers of your school have held in the auditorium on why you shouldn’t drink underage, Jay’s parents’ liquor cabinet always seems to find itself missing many a few bottles after each party. But we don’t talk about that. Shush. 
Almost simultaneously, everyone at the table lets out a groan, much to Jay’s disappointment. 
“C’mon guys! It’s been a while since anything’s fun happened to this school, think of all the sad students in that building right now,” he extends a finger whole-ass arm and points at your school, “who are in dire need of fun and a little...” he punctuates his sentence with the hand motion of chugging down a drink, followed with a gulping sound elicited from his tongue clicking. 
You roll your eyes along with everyone else. Don’t be like Jay, kids. Listen to those police officers. 
“Jay, it’s midterm season! I have an exam on Monday and I definitely do not want to spend the nights before wasted,” you give him an apologetic look. As crazy as Jay is, you do feel bad nonetheless. The boy just wants to have fun. 
Your response is followed up with similar comments from around the table. 
“I’m helping y/n study” 
“I have an important skating performance on Sunday” 
“Uh...my hamster died?” (ok Heeseung panicked, don’t blame the guy)
Ignoring that last excuse of an excuse, Jay continues his debate nonetheless. “Just come for the sake of it! No one’s saying you have to get wasted. Pleaseeee for me?” 
Jay throws these parties so often, you’re not sure why he’s so set on making sure you’re all going to be there. Well, I guess who wouldn’t want their closest friends to be at their own party? 
That and, Jay needs to make sure his friends are there to stop him from doing anything stupid. We all know this boy has had enough embarrassing moments to last him a lifetime. 
Everyone at the table gives each other the same hesitant look. Heeseung is the first to give in, “Oh fuck it. Sure, count me in.” 
Jay’s fist pumping the air before turning to Sunghoon with the most hopeful eyes. 
Sunghoon simply sighs in return. “Alright okay, I’ll bite. But if you vomit on my shoes again, I’m out the door.” Jay’s finger is automatically drawing a cross over his heart as a promise to not ruin Sunghoon’s Nikes again. 
He then looks to you with puppy eyes. 
You, who's already staring back at Jay with a stoic look in your eyes, are stubborn and (unlike the previous weaklings) are not as easy to convince. And somehow, this began an unannounced staring contest between the two of you, a contest to see who would budge first. This isn't an uncommon occurrence between you and Jay, but the rest of the boys are still on the edges of their seats watching this duel.
Jake casually wraps an arm around your shoulder and you’re brought in close, but still undeterred from your death-stare match with the boy across from you. 
If it’s not obvious enough, Jake’s really gotten into his role of being your boyfriend, despite it only being 24 hours since he last froze at your touch. Character development, you’ll give him that. 
You almost forget he’s faking it for a quick second. And for an even quicker second, you imagine he wasn’t faking it. And you swear you feel butterflies in your stomach at that thought. 
Weird. 
You mentally shake the thought out of your head. Priorities first, aka, beating Jay in this staring contest. 
“Fuck,” you stutter when you finally blink, admitting defeat to a grinning Jay. “Okay, okay, I’ll THINK about it. I’ll let you know.” 
Not exactly the answer Jay was looking for, but he’ll take it. Better than a no. 
He turns to Jake next, knowing there’s no way Jake will turn down a party. Just like Jay, the boy loves himself a good party. 
But–
But because Jake would take your physics exam this Monday for you if you asked, because Jake would bungee jump in the Grand Canyon without a safety net below him if you asked, because Jake would fake date you to make your crush jealous for you if you asked, he doesn’t hesitate in his answer this time around: “Same as y/n, I’ll let you know.” 
Jay looks at Jake. Then back at you, who he’s still clinging onto like a koala to a tree. Then back at Jake. “You two are gross. Admittedly cute. But gross.” 
You look up at the boy next to you to see him already grinning at you. 
For the first time today, you find yourself agreeing with Jay. 
Admittedly cute. 
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Thursday, December 10th 
You are having a bad day. 
You’re having the mother of bad days. 
Not only is it midterm season, but you still have all your regular weekly assignments to finish before Friday hits. So as a natural-born procrastinator does, you stayed up all last night trying to get a good amount of work done because what’s better than cramming all your work the night before it’s due? Doing it two nights before it’s due. 
Well apparently it wasn’t such a good idea. Because now, here you were, frantically throwing on whatever articles of clothing you find nearest to you because you slept through all your alarms. 
You’re lucky enough to make it through your school’s doors right as the second bell rings, even if you did look like you just walked straight out of a zombie apocalypse. 
You’re not so lucky when you find out your first class of the day, calculus, had a pop quiz. A pop quiz on the only unit you just happened to know absolutely nothing about. 
To top things off, you forgot to pack your lunch during this morning’s frenzy, meaning you’re automatically stuck sharing with Jake.
And because his mother started making him pack his own food out of a lesson of responsibility (she said something along the lines of: “Jake, you’re about to be in college and you don’t know how to pack a decent meal”), he only has a plain PB&J sandwich and a pack of Scooby-Doo gummies in his bag today (because newsflash, he still doesn’t know how to pack a decent meal). 
Not that you could care less at the moment, you were too preoccupied with catching up on your assignments to even eat. And if any of the boys noticed your zombie-like state during lunch, they did a good job of not mentioning it. They knew better than to bother an irritated y/n. 
Somehow, you make it through the entire school day and your after-school meeting for environmental club (save the trees!) in one piece. As you finally walk out of the school building, you exhale, automatically feeling lighter. At least the hard part of your day was done. 
Now you just had to wait for Jake to finish soccer practice, which usually ended around the same time as your club, and he can drive you home, where you can continue being irritated with your day in the privacy of your own space. 
You wait on the steps of the school’s entrance, waiting for a smiley Jake to come around the corner as he usually does at 5:30pm every Thursdays. 
Yes, a smiling Jake is exactly what you needed to make your day ten times better, you conclude. 
As if on cue, you hear a ding from your phone. 
Jake [5:30PM]: ugh coach is extending practice for “team bonding” 
Jake [5:30PM]: idek what team bonding is 
Jake [5:31PM]: you ok if i cant drive you today? :// 
It’s as if the universe decided to use you as its punching bag today. 
You physically let out a distorted groan, not caring if anyone who happened to hear you thought you were a creature from out of this world, as you send him a text back.
y/n [5:32PM]: it’s all good lol have fun with tEaM bOnDiNg
Things were not all good. But no matter how upset you may be, you weren’t going to project your negative vibes onto Jake’s naturally positive ones. So you get up from the stone steps and begin your dreaded walk back home. 
It’s freezing out. You should’ve known better to just throw on a hoodie and call it a day when it’s the middle of December. But then again, you figured by now you’d be in the comfort and warmth of Jake’s car and presence...not walking home in these freezing temperatures. 
You think about Jake and how he’s probably currently suffering from not only his team bonding exercises (but really though, what are team bonding exercises?), but doing them in this weather as well. The poor boy. 
You’re quickly broken out of your thoughts by the sound of a car engine from behind you. When you don’t see it pass by you and instead hear it pull over and park next to the curb of the sidewalk you’re currently on, you automatically deduce that this is it, this is my time, I’m about to get kidnapped by whoever it is behind me but y/n, you should probably turn around and check first before you drive yourself insane in this inner dialogue. 
You turn around and squint into the front window of the car. If it were a kidnapper, this is exactly what your mother told you not to do. Her exact words were: “Run, don’t look back, and scream bloody murder.” 
Good thing it wasn’t. Just an innocent Sunghoon waving his hand at you, motioning you to get in. 
“Sunghoon?” You approach his car and stop at the passenger side’s open window. 
“y/n! It’s freezing out, I’ll drive you home c’mon,” he nods his head towards the passenger side door. 
Well, how could you say no? Sunghoon owns a nice car. Like a nice car. Like car-seat-heaters-that-make-you-feel-like-you’re-physically-melting nice. Beats getting hypothermia outside, right? 
“Why are you going home from school so late?” You ask as you settle into his car, instantly melting at the touch of the aforementioned heated seats. 
“Debate club, actually. Decided I needed another personality trait other than ice skating,” he starts the engine and begins driving towards the direction of your neighborhood. 
You laugh at his comment, you didn’t peg him as a debate kind of student. Quiet Sunghoon? Debate club? If 2 plus 2 is four...
“Hey, I don’t call you the Ice Prince for nothing! Also, don’t forget your other personality trait: forgetting your lunch every day.” 
Sunghoon quickly glances over at you to send you a dirty look (because eyes on the road, kids!), which you return with a cheeky grin. “Need I remind you that was you today?” 
“Touché,” you click your tongue. 
The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the faint sound of Sunghoon's music in the background filling in the quietness.  
You’re humming along until Sunghoon breaks the silence, “Did Jake get stuck at practice again?” 
You don’t know why, but you swear you feel your heart beat faster at the mention of Jake’s name. No, that was always there right? Because you were with Sunghoon...your crush..obviously. Obviously. 
Ignoring the feeling, you turn your attention towards the boy driving you. 
“Oh yeah, something about team bonding. How’d you know?” 
“Eh, I just figured since he wasn’t driving you home like he always does.” He turns into your neighborhood. 
You nod at his answer. 
“You two make a good couple.” 
You whip your head at him. Did you hear him correctly?
“It was about time, really. You two have been ogling at one another for so long, Heeseung, Jay, and I almost placed bets on who would be the first to make a move.” 
He keeps his eyes on the road, casually going on about how you and Jake make the cutest couple he’s ever seen. 
You're frozen, unsure of what to think, let alone say. 
You think to two days ago, when you started this entire fake relationship because of the very boy driving you home right now. The same boy who's complimenting you on your fake relationship. The same boy who's supposed to be jealous over that said relationship. The same boy you’re supposed to be crushing over.
But now...only a mere 48 hours later, you were finding yourself okay with the fact that he was happy for you. And for the life of you, you couldn’t remember why you liked Sunghoon in the first place. Not saying he isn’t one to be crushed on, I mean, look at the guy. 
Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you didn't feel nervous or giddy or..anything at all when you got into the car with Sunghoon. At least, not until Jake's name was mentioned. That's when you felt the butterflies. At the mention of Jake.  
Jake. 
Weird. 
But before you can come to a conclusion on why you're feeling the way you do, Sunghoon interrupts your thoughts.  
"Well, we're here! Say hi to your parents for me," he pulls into your driveway as you're still collecting your thoughts.  
You give him a quick thanks and one last wave as you enter the front doors of your house.  
Seeing that your only solution towards confusing feelings meant distracting yourself, distract yourself you did.  
Even if it meant distracting yourself with your piling assignments.  
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The next time you look up from your work, it's suddenly way past sundown and a heavy storm has taken over. You’re surprised it hasn’t started flooding yet with the amount of rainfall you were hearing. 
You check the time on your phone, the bright 8:16PM on the screen illuminating your dimly lit room. Seeing that neither of your parents have yet to be home from work, it looks like you were going to have to settle with some instant ramen for dinner tonight.  
As you trudge down the stairs of your home, the sound of light knocking against the front door catches your attention. It's been a long day y/n, you're probably hearing things, it's definitely just the rain.
Nope. There it is again, but much louder. Much more urgent.  
You contemplate any and all potential disasters that could happen from answering the door. Only a crazy person would be willing to go out in this hurricane-like weather to be frantically knocking on your door.  
And so, you assume it has to be some psychopath trying to get into your house. Yes, there’s definitely no other logical explanation. 
You scramble around your living room, looking for the next best weapon to defend you. Resorting to the flower vase your mother keeps on the table next to the front door, you hold it out in front of you, as if you're waiting for the door to burst open.  
The knocking continues, gradually getting louder. You mentally curse at yourself for dropping out of the taekwondo class your dad signed you up for when you were younger.  
Vase in hand, you swing open the door and brace for–
"Jake? What the fuck? Get in here, you're gonna get sick!"  
You’re suddenly aware of how stupid you look, holding a light pink vase with a couple of orchids as your only form of self-defense...for it to only be your own best friend. You immediately put it back on the table as Jake quickly rushes past you and into your humble abode.  
You close the door behind you and turn to face the soaked boy.  
“I come bearing gifts, also known as take-out and hot chocolate from that one cafe you love. Also my company, if you’ll take it. I had a feeling you weren’t having the best day today,” he’s simply standing there, holding up a large brown paper bag in one hand, and a deliciously smelling cup of hot chocolate in the other, but you’re looking at him as if he bought you the Moon. 
You stare in awe at the angel of a boy in front of you, silently thanking the stars for gifting you this amazing human being as your best friend. You don’t know what you did to deserve him. 
You give him a soft smile. “Jake, you didn’t have to. It’s practically a shitstorm out there,” you cock your head towards the window, showcasing the downpour of cats and dogs outside. Jake stays by the entrance as you go down the hall and through your house’s linen closet to find a spare towel for the drenched boy.
“Nah it’s no big deal, really. Just fulfilling my duties as your loyal boyfriend,” he grins, even though you can’t see him. He likes calling himself that. Your boyfriend.
Jake continues to shake his messy hair to get the excess rain off, giving a mental apology to whoever is going to have to mop up the puddle forming on the floor due to his unannounced visit. Probably you. 
Jake hears you laugh down the hall. “You’re really invested in your role, huh? Keep this up and you might actually trick me into believing you’re my actual boyfriend.” 
Actual boyfriend? Jake likes the sound of that. Maybe he will keep this up then.
Jake doesn’t have much experience in acting, unless you count that time he played the role of Town Villager #3 in the third grade play, so he never found it as one of his interests. But playing the role of your boyfriend was one he was willing to fulfill for the rest of life, even if it was just for show. 
Jake doesn’t respond to your comment, he’s instead self-aware of his blushing cheeks, thankful that you’re too busy rummaging through your linen closet to take notice. 
“Plus, you didn’t have lunch today and I had feeling you were going to be too caught up in your work to feed yourself anything other than instant ramen,” he sets down his gifts to you on your living room’s coffee table as you come around the corner, fresh towel and new set of clothes in hand. 
His eyes fall on the familiar looking pair of sweatpants and hoodie resting on the palms of your hands. 
Hm. A little too familiar. 
Then, it clicks in his head. 
His eyes narrow at you as you giggle at his reaction, “Oh, so it takes me getting drenched in the rain for you to finally return my clothes that I’ve been missing!?” 
“Hey! I’m not returning them, simply loaning them out to a friend who’s in dire need. You basically gifted them to me the second you left them here months ago.” 
“You’re annoying.” 
“Love you too,” you toss the clothes at him and take a seat on the floor around your coffee table, prepping the table with the boxes of Chinese food Jake supplied. 
After Jake changes into the stolen dry clothes, he takes a seat next to an already-eating you at the coffee table. 
“You. are. my lord and savior Sim Jaeyun,” you’re saying with your mouth full of fried rice. You sigh from satisfaction and rest your head against Jake’s shoulder as you continue chewing. He grins as he helps himself to his own serving of fried rice and orange chicken. 
You look up at him from your spot, “How was team bonding today?” 
Jake groans in response, clearly annoyed. “Stupid. I don’t get how doing trust falls and pyramid building is going to get us any closer. If anything, I almost FELL off that pyramid today!” 
You don’t know why, but you find yourself admiring him and his soft features as he continues to rant about one of his teammates, specifically, the one who almost dropped him. 
The way his messy hair, unkept from the rain ruining it, almost covers his eyes (but you tell yourself you like it this way, it looks more natural on him), the way the corners of his lips are always perked upwards (even when he’s ranting), the way his eyes sparkle whenever he’s truly passionate about whatever he’s talking about, the way his eyes look at you like–
“Stare much? Look, I get you can’t resist my good looks but at least be subtle about it,” he smirks at you as he takes another spoon of rice. 
You break out of his trance and scoff at him. 
“You’re cute when you rant,” you nonchalantly say as you move from your spot to mirror his actions and add more rice to your plate as well.  Jake’s stills at your sudden comment, unsure of how to respond. Lucky for him, you’re distracted by the mountain of food on your plate to even notice the blushing mess of a boy next to you. 
“You know, you’re lucky you’re cute. Or else I’d deck you right here and now for ditching me after school today.” 
Anddd there goes the moment. Leave it to you to follow up a compliment with a threat of violence. 
Jake finds it cute anyways. He always finds you cute. 
Jake narrows his eyes and lightly shoves you before an apology is written all over his face. “Sorry about that by the way. I feel awful about making you walk home when it was freezing out.” 
“Nah, it’s okay. Sunghoon gave me a ride, actually. Did you know he does debate? I guess you learn something new everyday,” you ramble, unaware of the boy next to you getting tense at the sudden mention of the other’s name. 
Up until now, Jake’s completely forgotten about Sunghoon's involvement in this entire scheme. In fact, the past 48 hours with you have felt so normal, so comfortable, he almost forgot about the deal in the first place.   “You think he has any clue?” Jake suddenly asks, referring to the plan. 
You immediately know what he’s referring to, as Jake practically worded out your very own thoughts. 
You shrug. “Not a single one. We’re practically William and Kate in his eyes. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries right now. I’m too distracted by my exams right now to care.” 
Jake feels guilty for being satisfied with your answer. He’s 100% sure that if convincing Sunghoon took you two an entire lifetime of fake dating, he’d be all too willing to do it. 
“Go to Jay’s party with me tomorrow,” he abruptly says, catching your attention as your mouth is stuffed. Cute. 
He pokes your cheek. “It’ll get your mind off of work and plus, what’s more convincing than showing up to a party with your amazing boyfriend?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Jake doesn’t know where he gets his sudden surge of confidence. But he does know he loves calling himself your boyfriend...even if it’s for the time being. 
Rolling your eyes and swatting his poking fingers away from your face, you ponder on his suggestion. 
“You mean my annoying boyfriend,” you stick your tongue out at him. Jake takes a mental picture and hopes it never leaves his mind. 
“But I guess you could be right. Maybe I can clear my head for the night before I study my ass off all weekend.” 
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Friday, December 11th 
The party does not clear your mind. 
If anything, it gives you enough headaches to last you at least until the end of high-school. 
You come to this revelation as you and Jake approach Jay’s home, a luxurious mansion sitting at the end of a cul-de-sac, lined with similarly luxurious palaces, located in an equally luxurious neighborhood. 
You come to this revelation when you can already feel the pounding bass of music as you walk up Jay’s driveway. 
You come to this revelation when, not even two seconds after entering Jay’s front doors––
“You’re here!” A buzzed Jay shouts at the two of you, causing the both of you to contemplate your past choices that brought you here today. Jay definitely isn’t straight up drunk yet, but Jake still makes a mental note to keep an eye on him tonight. Just in case. 
The blonde-haired boy is quick to hand over two red solo cups of god knows what, to which you and Jake immediately put down on the nearest table after Jay walks away to greet the next incoming guests (you know, to not hurt his feelings). 
You and Jake are lucky enough to have been around Jay and his parties long enough to know that going all out at these parties will not be pretty the next morning.
You cringe at the memory of last year, when you had to suffer from possibly the worst hangover of all hangovers after one of Jay’s parties. Jake will never let you forget how miserable you looked the next morning. His camera roll’s album titled “y/n blackmail pics” can vouch for that.
“Remind me again to never listen to you,” you almost have to shout at Jake over the thumping music. Jake laughs at your comment and tugs at your hand as he begins entering the house.
The two of you do your rounds of greetings to the people you know...and random underclassmen who you swear you have never seen before but somehow made it to this party. You’ve always questioned how Jay’s invite list worked. Maybe there isn’t one. That would explain how it looked like someone announced Jay was giving out free Teslas and the entire school got hold of the news. 
“Thank god you guys are here,” you hear a voice come from behind the two of you as you guys leave the main room to enter the house’s smaller, but just as luxurious looking, den. You turn to see Heeseung with Sunghoon following closely behind, trying his best not to get swept away in the crowd of people. 
The den is where you usually stayed during these parties. It’s not like there are rules of where people are allowed to party, by any means, but it’s like how a high-school’s cafeteria worked. There’s a mutual silent agreement of where everyone goes, and the den is where the party host and his friends went.  
“Okay, is it just me, or is tonight’s party just a little...too..much?” Sunghoon asks as the four of you take your seats on the main couch of the room. Jake’s quick to make space for you next to him as you go to sit, but to his surprise, you find your home right on his lap. 
“You said be convincing right?” you say into his ear as you settle yourself. Right. That’s totally why. Because you had to go along with the ruse. Obviously. 
You shift a bit so you’re more facing sideways, not blocking off Jake’s line of vision as the boy himself is..well, calling him a rag doll might be excessive. 
But he’s sure he looks like one right now, having lost all senses in his limbs, leaving him frozen underneath you. 
Jake Sim is the epitome of politeness. He was raised in a family that taught him how to respectfully greet others, how to always offer food to others before eating it himself, how to properly treat a significant other. As a result, Jake grew up to be one of the sweetest, kindest, purest people to ever walk this earth. 
(Relatively speaking, the earth is large, but so is Jake’s heart.) 
But human-beings aren’t perfect, they must have a balance. A balance of pros and cons. 
Sure, he can’t pack his own lunch and sometimes forgets to water the little succulent you gifted him that’s currently seated on his window sill. Sure, sometimes he’s too sweet for his own good, you know, like willing-to-be-your-fake-boyfriend too sweet. But aside from the minor details, Jake Sim doesn’t have many cons, no. 
But he sure can be awkward. 
And so because Jake Sim is sweet, kind, pure, and awkward, he is unsure of what to do with himself when you’re seated right on top of him. 
As if you could read his befuddled mind, you take his arm that’s resting behind you to wrap around your waist as your support as you throw one of your arms around his shoulder. And throughout this entire adjustment, his widened eyes are staring right at you. 
Bless this pure, pure boy. 
Also bless the position you’re in, blocking the two other boys from directly seeing Jake’s face. Because if they were to catch glimpse of Jake’s expression right now, your cover might be blown, just like that. You’re lucky Heeseung and Sunghoon are distracted by another classmate who came up to them. 
“Relax,” you sweetly laugh, cupping his chin with your free hand and lightly squeezing his cheeks. “You’re so adorably awkward.” 
Jake pouts at you. “I am not awkward!” 
“Right, and I’m totally dating you for real,” you playfully whisper at him, eliciting a poke at your waist in response. 
Twenty minutes of people-watching-aka-“who do you think is gonna pass out first?”-from-your-spot-on-the-couch later, the four of you draw your attention to the rowdy party host you all have the honor of calling your friend––aka Jay––dancing (that is, if you call wildly swinging your limbs in all four directions dancing) in the middle of the den. 
"Oh god, look at him," Sunghoon voices from besides you.
Heeseung's already filming the moment on his phone. Ah yes, technology. The best thing to ever happen to drunk teens' friends.  
"He's so wasted," you throw your head back as you let out a laugh. “We should help the kid out.” 
Poor Jay. He's not gonna hear the end of it after tonight.
"I don't know why he thinks these parties are such a good idea when he knows how trashed he's gonna be when he wakes up," Jake says, his hand naturally squeezing your waist as you giggle at his comment. "And how trashed the house will be."  
Jay slumbers over to where the four of you are seated, and abruptly stops right in front of the couch.
"My best friends!" Jay happily cheers. “Having fun?” 
“Watching you? Always,” you say to the boy who’s squeezing into a seat between you and Sunghoon, as if the small couch wasn’t already suffocating enough (and that’s with you on Jake’s lap). 
“But for real though, you should probably lay off the drinks for now,” Heeseung insists. “For all our sakes.” 
Sunghoon nods along and grabs the cup Jay’s currently nursing and sets it down where it’s out of Jay’s reach, much to his dismay. But the disappointment quickly leaves the dazed boy’s head, as his attention is now directed towards you and Jake. 
“Well if it isn’t mom and dad,” Jay turns to face you and Jake, certainly amused by your seating arrangement. 
“You know–” Jay points a finger at the two of you. “For a couple that’s certainly close, I haven’t seen you two kiss.” 
Jake is immediately coughing, certainly not expecting that to come out of his friend’s mouth. 
“Okay and your point is?” Jake frowns at Jay. If Jay wasn’t tipsy, Jake would’ve smacked the back of his head by now. 
“I’m just saying...” the blonde responds, both hands up in the air as if Jake is accusing him of something, when in was, in fact, the opposite. “But nevermind, Jakey boy here is probably too innocent for such nonsense anyways.” 
Yes, it’s confirmed. Once Jay sobers up tomorrow, Jake is driving over to his house (even though it’s a good ten minute drive from his own) just to smack him. 
“What do you mean I’m too–” 
Jake doesn’t finish his sentence. In fact, Jake doesn’t even remember what he was going to say. 
Jake doesn’t think nor feel anything else other than your lips planted on his. 
You’re pulling him in close, your hands cupping his face as his own are twitching on your waist, his mind flustered. You move your hands from his face to his neck, to which Jake immediately relaxes at. 
Sure, you two are in the middle of a dumb high-school party, one filled with pounding music and shouting teenagers, but right now, in this moment, Jake can only feel you. And he doesn’t want the feeling to ever stop. 
When you part, Jake’s eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, his own parted in shock. He thinks he might pass out right here and now. He thinks his heart might explode right here and now. He thinks he might lov-
“Happy?” you turn to a satisfied Jay, ignoring the looks of amusement from Heesung and Sunghoon besides him. 
“Well,” you pat Jake’s leg as you get up from your spot. “I’m gonna get us some drinks. Punch only, of course.” 
Jake’s eyes are on you as you walk away, his face tinted pink from the adrenaline of it all, his heart racing. 
Jake thinks back to three days ago, when he told himself that this idea of yours was going to be all fine. After all, it was only going to be for one week. Afterwards, he can move on with his life as if nothing happened. 
But fast forward 72 hours later, 72 hours after you and Jake started this act, 72 hours after Jake told himself it’ll be all fine, Jake knows he was poorly mistaken.
Because 72 hours later, in the middle of a party that reeked of the combined smell of alcohol and sweat, Jake knows one thing and one thing for sure.
He never wants to move on from the feeling of being with you. He never wants to move on from this.
From you. 
He’s screwed. 
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Saturday, December 12th 
When Jake wakes up, much later than he intended to, on Saturday morning, the first sensation he feels are his tingling lips, still in disbelief that they graced your own last night. 
The second sensation being his pounding mind––it’s running through ten million thoughts at a time, telling him no last night wasn’t a dream. 
Third: his heart beating so fast at the thought of you, he thinks he might beat out of his chest.
And fourth, a buzzing noise. 
Jake blindly flounders his arm to the table beside him in hopes of finding the origin of the annoying sound, aka, his phone. 
After knocking down multiple miscellaneous items on his nightstand (he makes a mental note to clean his room later), he successfully retrieves the item of search. 
Jake squints at the bright screen, mind still cloudy from a mix of 1) being half-asleep, and 2) still processing what happened the night before. 
y/n [11:10AM]: r u awake yet? 
y/n [11:22AM]: imma take that as a no
y/n [11:35AM]: lemme know when ur up 
jake [11:44AM]: just woke up sorry 
jake [11:44AM]: are you okay? what’s up
y/n [11:45AM]: r u busy? 
y/n [11:45AM]: kinda wanted to talk abt smth
jake [11:45AM]: uh well no im still in bed lmao
y/n [11:46AM]: cool im outside your door 
Jake’s eyes widen as he processes your last few texts. 
Talk? Outside his door? 
Jake’s heart is nervously pounding as jumps out of bed and quickly puts on the first plaid flannel he finds. He scrambles to his mirror and gives his reflection a quick run-down. 
He’s sporting your his favorite hoodie underneath the flannel that’s long overdue a wash and his tousled hair has seen better days, but he couldn't care less. 
Before his mind can catch up to his actions, he’s rushing down the stairs, skipping two at a time and to this front door. Because he didn’t want to keep you waiting? Because he was too excited to see you? Maybe a mix of both. Definitely more of the latter, however. 
He quickly runs a hand through his hair to try to fix it up as much as he can, to no avail, before opening the door to reveal you, sitting on the steps of his front porch. 
“y/n,” he’s breathing heavily as you turn to greet him with your sweet smile he didn’t even realize he was missing. Is it possible to miss someone overnight? Jake concludes yes, it definitely is. 
“Did you run down here or something?,” you question his out-of-breath state, a teasing tone laces the tip of your tongue. 
“Or something,” Jake mutters as he closes the front door behind him to join you on the steps when you make no sign of moving. “Have you been out here all morning?” 
“Not allll morning. I had a feeling you’d sleep in so I came around the time I first texted you. Would’ve knocked but didn’t wanna bother your family,” you hum, keeping your eyes trained on the peaceful scenery around you. 
You’ve always loved Jake’s neighborhood, it brought you a sense of peace, a sense of home. 
Or was that because it reminded you of Jake? 
“You could never be a bother,” he quickly rebuttals as he takes his seat next to you on the steps. 
You respond with a soft smile before turning your attention back to anything other than the boy next to you. Your mind seems to be lost in its own thoughts, Jake can tell by the distant look in your eyes. 
The sound of birds chirping in the distance fills the silence that falls between the two of you. 
Any other day, Jake would love this. He savors every second he’s with you, even if it’s just pure silence. 
But this silence was different. It wasn’t the usual comforting, warm silence that the two of you share on a typical day. This one held tension, tension so thick that Jake doesn’t know where to begin thinking. 
But here’s the thing. Jake doesn’t think. 
Not when it comes to you. 
He takes a deep breath. Rubs his hands together. Pats them on his lap. Turns towards you. 
“Look, I-” 
“I think I might like you.” The words come out of your mouth so fast, Jake’s positive he heard you wrong the first time around. 
He whips his head to meet your eyes, your own already staring back at him, your bottom lip nervously tucked under your teeth. 
“No, I––I do. I know I do. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job right now,” the words are all of the sudden tumbling out of your mouth as if your brain flipped a switch and isn’t able to turn it off. “In hindsight, I should’ve known better to fake date my own best friend. But these past few days made me realize how much I love being with you. And not like how I’m always with you 24/7 before this entire thing started, but being with you. I even started getting that weird, bubbly feeling in my stomach every time I so much as heard your name. And then last night at the party, I realized afterwards that I wouldn’t have kissed you if some part of me didn’t see you in that way. Even if it meant Jay would’ve been on our asses all night if I didn’t. So yeah.” 
You finish with a deep breath and look up at him to meet his widened eyes. Silence.
Jake thought he was braindead during last week’s history quiz. Jake thought he was braindead when he had to cram a semester’s worth of chemistry content the night before his exam. Heck, Jake thought he was braindead when you first told him about your idea of a fake dating him. But no, this is braindead.
He’s finally hearing what he’s been dreaming of for so long, and of all times, now his brain decides to shut off.  
“Are you..uh..are you gonna say anything?” You’re nervously fumbling with your hands, desperate to distract yourself with anything else apart from his silent stare. 
"Why are you sorry?" Jake says before his mind can think of anything else. He doesn't pay attention to his thumping heart that's one look-from-you away from exploding right then and there. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you took the words right out of my mouth.” 
Now you're staring at him with the wide eyes, the words processing in your mind.
Jake realizes he's waited too long to do this. A few years too long. He also realizes he shouldn't have put on that extra layer of a flannel. The nervous tension created by the two of you was suffocating enough, and being outside under the bright sun didn’t help. 
"I like you too. God y/n, I like you too so much," Jake doesn't even care if his words are all sorts of messed up right now. He just needs you to get the idea. "I have for a while now.” 
You let out a relieved sigh, ecstasy rushing through your blood. “Really? I think I have for a while too. I’m so stupid, it took me so long to realize it. It didn’t hit me until I realized how I felt around you, compared to the guy I’m supposed to actually have a crush on.” 
Jake lets out a laugh, the tension immediately dissolving. “Hey, if it wasn’t for Sunghoon, I don’t think we’d be here right now.” 
“You’re right, I’m too oblivious and you’re too awkward to actually make a move,” you wink at him. If his heart wasn’t fluttering at the sight of you, on his porch on a Saturday morning, confessing your feelings to him, Jake probably would’ve lightly shoved you away. 
Instead, he’s turning to you with the most endeared look on his face, and you’re blushing underneath his gaze.
“What? Stare much?” You giggle, quoting the boy himself as you shyly duck your head to avoid his stare. 
Jake gently grabs your chin to tilt your face towards his, and before you can process what’s happening, he suddenly meets your lips with his own, closing the gap between you two. 
Jake thinks if the ground underneath him right now decided to open up and swallow him whole, he’d die happily. 
Jake smiles against you, feeling comfort in ways he’ll never be able to achieve without you. 
Your hands instinctively find their way into his hair, as one of his rests below your ear, thumb softly caressing your cheek, the other pulling you in by the waist. He’s naturally leaning into you, gravitating towards your warmth, unable to stop the giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach. 
He doesn’t think the feeling will ever go away. 
When you pull away to catch your breath, you rest your head against the nook of his neck, basking in his presence as his arms both find their way around your waist. You sigh in pleasure. 
“Remember at the beginning of all of this, when you told me ‘Just try not to fall in love with me?’” Jake gently says. Jake feels the slight nod you give against his shoulder as you hum in response. 
Jake whispers two more words into your ear, filling you with happiness and warmth you know you won’t be able to find through anyone––or anything––else. 
“Too late.” 
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✰ if you made it ‘til the end, ily :’))))) 
2K notes · View notes
justauthoring · 3 years
Text
The Long Wait
Prompt: Eventually, the hoping became too much to bare. Requested by: no one.
A/N: This is basically a remake of this fic -- upon re-watching the GMG arc with my mom, I couldn’t help but look back at this fic and realize how much more I could’ve done with it. Thus, this was born. Pairing: Gray Fullbuster x F!Reader
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“What do you mean you’re leaving?”
Keeping your gaze trained to the ground, you absolutely refuse to look up -- because you know that if you did, your heart would break all over again.
“I’m sorry,” you mumble, words jumbled together, voice quiet that if the guild hall was so completely silent, they definitely wouldn’t have heard you. But they do, and they falter at the way you sound so absolutely broken. And of course, all of them were, but there was something different about the way you sounded -- it was like you were defeated. 
Macao steps towards her, you hear it rather then see it, and can imagine his hand stretched out towards you, trying to placate you. “Y/N, we understand--” and he halts, voice catching in the back of his throat. “We understand more then anyone how you feel, but--”
“It’s different.” You find yourself cutting in, voice sharp, and you wince at yourself because you sound so incredibly selfish and rude. Who were you to say that your pain was any different from theirs? Any worse? But, still, you continue, your emotions getting the better of you. “It’s just... different. I... I can’t be here knowing they’re... he’s gone.”
“Y/N-nee, we don’t know that they’re gone!”
Your eyes fall shut at the sound of Romeo’s voice.
“We have to keep searching for them,” he argues, defiant, adamantly shaking his head. “They’re somewhere out there, I know that. And Gray wouldn’t--”
“They’re gone,” you hiss, interrupting him and finally glancing up to regard your friends, your family. They rear back at your harsh words, and that guilt festers even deeper inside of your chest, with the way they’re looking at you. Jet and Droy look near tears, and you know they’re thinking of Levy. And Bisca and Alzack look in shock at your outburst, you’re usually so quiet and calm. Macao looks angry, and the rest just stare at you, varying reactions that all mesh together.
Because really, it’s the way Romeo looks at you, still so young, so full hope as your words basically slap him in the face.
But you’re too far gone now, and there’s no stopping you.
“It’s been two years,” you continue, voice softer but still cutting, still hurtful. “They’re not coming back. They’re never coming back.”
He’s never coming back.
They don’t respond. No one argues, even if some look like they might. Maybe they’re understanding, maybe they’re finally getting it -- it’s been too long now and no one from the island is coming back. You’d been hopeful at first, you’d been like Romeo -- you’d refused to lose hope. But your heart is broken and there’s no mending it and you can’t keep staring at those doors all day expecting, hoping, praying that he’ll walk through them only for him never to.
So, you turn, nothing but a soft, sorrowful, pathetic apology leaving your lips as you turn your backs on your friends and leave them.
And as you turn, you see his familiar face, the dark black of his hair, that drawling smirk on his lips, and his cold, but always soft when directed at you eyes looking at you, but when you blink, he’s gone.
-
You huff at the weight dropped around your shoulders, inhaling deeply when you see a familiar puff of blonde hair.
“Did you hear?”
You don’t need to ask what he means. It’s pretty obvious.
“Fairy Tail will be competing again this year.”
When you turn to look at Sting, he’s smirking -- all bright eyed and giddy, and you hold back your own snark as you regard him with a small nod. Sting was one of the few to know of the fact that you used to be part of Fairy Tail -- him and Rogue, given that they were the ones who recruited you, and then the master as well.
It wasn’t news you were eager for everyone to know. Fairy Tail was a laughing stock in all respects now, but Sabertooth seemed to have a particular fondness of mocking the way the guild had fallen. And it was easy to hide you’d ever been apart of it given you hadn’t been a particularly well-known mage back when you’d been a member. Your powers were relatively new, and with, regrettably, the help of the Twin Dragon slayers you’d definitely grown in aspects of strength.
Three years since you’d joined Sabertooth -- two years of training on your own, and three of being surrounded by much stronger mages had you adapting and constantly changing. You were practically unrecognizable.
You were known at Y/N of Sabertooth now, and it was like the Y/N of Fairy Tail never even existed at all.
“I’m surprised,” you hum, shifting as Sting moves to take a seat next to you, still whilst having an arm draped over your arm. You blink at the sudden arrival of Rogue, not having heard him, as he takes a seat in front of you, before continuing. “They weren’t in it last year, or the year before if I remember. After finishing last every year before.”
You hadn’t been apart of Sabertooth’s team, but you do remember watching.
It had been... hard, to say the least.
“Ah, well, this year they have a new team.” Rogue explains blandly.
“New members, you should say,” Sting smirks.
Brows furrowed, you shake your head at their words, confusion flooding at you at the particular gleefulness of Sting’s expression. He always got a kick out of embarrassing other teams, not even just Fairy Tail, but there was something different about the way his eyes sparkled.
Sting meets your gaze, and without wavering, adds; “or should I say, old?”
Your breath catches, and even as your mind starts spinning, you’re all too aware of the way both Sting and Rogue are watching you carefully.
You turn from Rogue to Sting, and absolutely hate the gleam in the latter’s eyes as he smirks down at you. Keeping a tight hold on you, he pulls you closer, leaning until he’s a breaths away; “it’s a good thing I managed to convince the Master to let you on the team this year, Y/N,” he grins widely, “you’ll get to reunite with your old pales.”
That... that couldn’t be possible.
They were--They were dead. They are dead.
“I... I need some fresh air.” Shoving Sting’s arm off of you, you ignore his calls and his merciless laughter as you stock out the guild doors, bypassing Minerva which you know will get you in shit later. You don’t really care in that moment, you can’t even think straight, you need air. 
You need to breathe.
Sting must be lying. He has to be lying. There’s... they were dead, it’s been seven years.
Seven years.
How... why now? Why after all this time?
And you convince yourself he isn’t lying. You ignore Sting every time he tries to talk to you, and focus on training. It would be no good if you failed since you were on the roster this year -- Master would kill you if you failed to impress him and keep Sabertooth at the very top. And it’s easy enough to do, spend all your time training, pushing yourself to the brink, until it’s a few days before the games and you realize, Sting wasn’t lying.
You’d been trying to ignore it, ignore the urge, but eventually you give in and find yourself in the city of Magnolia. A place you haven’t been in a long time.
Fairy Tail’s location had changed, but you’d made sure to keep tabs on them. You never showed your face, mainly because you knew that in the end, you’d betrayed your friends. In their eyes, you assumed, you were the enemy, a traitor. You’d left them, left your guild in a time they’d needed you most, and almost instantly regretted it.
But every time you tried to go back, every time you made your way towards those doors, you’d remember the words you’d said -- “They’re not coming back. They’re never coming back.” -- and, like a coward, you were never able to face them.
From the moment you’d left, all you’d wanted to do was go back but it was too late for that now. And so you settled for keeping tabs, helping them where you could, always in secret -- you knew how they owed money, and you didn’t have a lot, but you always anonymously send some the guild’s way in hopes of helping. Sabertooth would kill you if they found out, specifically Sting, but it was your way of repaying all the hurt you must’ve caused them.
It’s why you know their new location. And, without even being there for more then five minutes, you see them.
A blue flying cat, followed by a white one, a tuff of pink hair, red hair, blue hair, blonde and most importantly, him. His dark hair, the fact that nothing’s changed and he looks exactly like he had those seven years ago when you’d wished him good luck on the S Class competition, and pressed a shy, chaste kiss to his cheek, the two of you blushing madly as he left, waving you goodbye.
But, they were there. He was there.
-
“And last but certainly not least, is the team that came first in the preliminaries... that’s right, you know them, you love them! Now, get on your feet and scream for the most powerful guild in all Fiore! The one and only, Sabertooth!”
You wince at the cheering, two steps behind everyone else as Sting makes his grand entrance, looking thoroughly most pleased and proud of himself then anyone else. However, even you can see the smirk on Rufus’ and Orga’s face. 
If anything, it’s you and Rogue that don’t look all that excited.
And you, for a specific reason. One that stares you right in the face the second you walk into the arena.
Elfman, Erza, Lucy, Natsu, but more importantly, Gray all look at you the second your team arrives. You can even feel Fairy Tail team B, and the rest of the guild up in the stands watching you and only you. You also notice with disdain that Sting had purposefully made way for you to be seen, even if you hadn’t been that hidden, you would’ve rather remained in the shadows.
That, and you’re not exactly sure what to say as they all stare at you.
“Y/N?!”
It’s Natsu who yells it, but it’s Lucy who steps towards you, baffled and confused; “Y/N, what’re you...”
But you only lower your gaze, eyes falling shut as Sting pulls you into his side, laughing loudly. “What a reunion!” He cheers, pumping his fist in the air, before turning to you. “Isn’t it so great to see all your old guildmates, Y/N?”
You meet their eyes, just as the announcer calls out;
“What’s this? A reunion? Could it be perhaps that Sabertooth’s own Y/N Y/L/N was once a member of Fairy Tail? What a twist on her debut in the Grand Magic Games!”
“This is so not man...”
Turning your head at the sound of Elfman’s voice, your breath catches in the back of your throat.
“Elfman,” Erza says sharply, pulling your eyes back on her and thus the rest of them, noticing with a thick swallow the way her eyes have never left your own. “I’m sure Y/N has her reasons.”
But as she stares at you, waiting for you to say something, you simply turn, walking off.
“I didn’t know you used to be in Fairy Tail,” Rufus drawls to you when you pass him, and your shoulders tighten.
That’s right... now, everyone knew.
“You never needed to know,” you say simply.
“Y/N.”
“It seems Fairy Tail’s Team A Gray Fullbuster approaches Sabertooth’s own Y/N Y/L/N, and the crowd watches in anticipation at the clear tension amongst the two of them--.”
Everything freezes. Shoulders tensing, you slowly turn, meeting Gray’s eyes -- the one you’d been specifically avoiding.
“We won’t lose.”
I know, you want to say. I don’t want you to, you want to tell him. I want Fairy Tail to win, you want to plead. But instead, knowing the eyes that watch you, you simply say; “neither will Sabertooth.”
-
This had to be some cruel joke.
Your punishment, maybe.
Sabertooth’s Y/N Y/L/N versus Fairy Tail’s Team A Gray Fullbuster
That’s what the board said, that what that God awful announcer calls with clear joy in his voice -- your first battle, the second day of the Games, and this way the turn out.
There was no way you’d win. 
Ignoring the fact that you had no doubt Gray was stronger then you -- you simply just couldn’t. You wouldn’t. Not against Fairy Tail and certainly not against Gray.
“Good luck, Y/N,” Sting calls as you move to make your way towards the arena. “Though I doubt you’ll need it.”
You hate his words, hate the way he knows, hate the way he seems to get such joy out of everything that had happened. This was his fault. His fucking fault that you were here, and that this was happening.
Though, of course, even you knew that was true.
“Sabertooth’s Y/N Y/L/N has never been apart of Sabertooth’s team, but we can expect something great from Fiore’s strongest guild, needless to say. Do you know anything about Y/N Y/L/N, Yajima-san?”
“I don’t know much about Y/’N now, but in her Fairy Tail days, she never really made a name for herself, but I do distinctly remember her powers being incredibly unique.”
“Ah! A mystery then. And of course, Fairy Tail’s Gray Fullbuster is a Ice Wizard, but after his performance in day one’s Hidden Competition, the crowd’s not too sure what to expect. Nonetheless, it should be an intense match between old guildmates now turned enemy’s.”
“Shut up,” you hiss to yourself, nails digging into the palm of your hands.
“Ah, I see you’re just as chipper as you used to be.”
Swallowing thickly, you inhale sharply as Gray comes to a stop a few feet before you. It’s closest you’ve been to him since that first day, and more importantly, then in seven years. You’d already known since that day, but he really does look exactly like he had that day. Hasn’t aged a day. You don’t know the story, you don’t know how he’s back, but you know you’ve heard the term ‘seven year blank’ echoing around.
That makes more sense as you stare at him now.
Still eighteen, you’re now older then him then a year younger like you had been before. 
Remaining silent, your head tilts back, where you know Sabertooth is, chest tightening.
“Y/N.”
Turning to Gray at the sound of your name, your lips part when you noticed the way his eyes have softened, even if only a little, like he caught something in the past moment you’d turned away from him. He looks so much more... concerned then he had the first day, and that was only yesterday. When he’d called for you, he’d looked so angry...
Now, he only looked worried.
“What happened?”
Swallowing thickly, you try to appear unbothered. “I left.”
“There’s more to it, I know there is,” Gray shakes his head, “the others told us about the day--”
Eyes clenching shut, a simply jerk of your head has Gray flying back. It causes a roar of gasps, surprise and anticipation in the thought that the fight is finally starting. But you know, unlike them, that it won’t get farther then that -- at least not from your end.
Gray hisses, slowly crawling to his feet, before he smirks at you; “you’ve gotten strong.”
“It’s been seven years.”
“Still,” he shrugs, stopping before you once again. “You have control now.”
You shrug, mimicking him with a smirk, “it’s been seven years.”
However, the facade falls all too quick when he takes a step towards you. Your body tenses, fists clenching as he continues to make his way towards you until he’s directly before you. He eyes you for a moment, quiet, carefully, and you nearly break then and there.
“It may have been seven years, but I know you best,” he whispers, voice low, “I know you’re lying.”
You shake your head, pushing his words away from your thoughts; “attack me.”
And he blinks, surprised; “what?”
“I need you to attack me,” you repeat, keeping your eyes trained downwards, refusing to meet his eyes. “I... I just need you to.”
And part of you expects him to -- you deserve it, you know, after all you’d done.
But, a second later, Gray’s stepping back, pulling your wide eyes on him as he shakes his head; “Fairy Tail doesn’t attack their own friends, Y/N. You know that.” And your breath hitches when his hand moves to raise.
“No!” You yell, before you can help yourself, eyes flashing a bright gold, like they had seconds before, holding Gray’s arm in place as he blinks back at you. Letting out a soft whimper, one you hope he doesn’t hear, you hold his arm in place, eyes falling shut as your own arm raises, the crowd falling eerily silent.
“I give up.”
And you knew, even as you feel the glares on your back, that there really wasn’t any other outcome that could’ve happened. You’d never hurt Gray, you knew, and you refused to hurt Fairy Tail anymore.
You were destined to lose this match.
-
“What’s so special about those fairies, huh?”
Wincing, you gasp at the squeeze on your throat, trying to suck in air that won’t come as your eyes fall on Sting’s own narrowed ones, glaring down at you. The brick of the wall behind you bites into your skin, and you know his grip will leave bruises, but even as you gasp for air and it feels like your vision is closing in on you, you have no regrets.
You never would, even if it’ll get you killed.
“What’s so fucking special about them?”
You refuse to respond, even if Sting wasn’t blocking off your air way you wouldn’t. Even if you could easily knock him away, send him flying, you don’t -- you’ll only pay for it more later.
“What’s so special about him?!”
He drops you then, and you fall to your knees with a thud, a cry leaving your lips as he sends a sharp kick to your gut, causing you to double over. It takes you a moment, a solid minute to catch your breath, and even then you’re still gasping, voice raspy as you raise your chin, eyes narrowing as you say the words you’ve been wanting to say to Sting for years.
“Fairy Tail is the guild Sabertooth could never be,” you hiss, your voice pathetic but your gaze menacing. “And Gray is a better man than you’ll ever be. All of them are. You’ll never be as good as Natsu.” You hit him where you know it hurts, the words having been on the tip of your tongue for years but you’d always held back in fear of what would happen.
Well, you’re no longer afraid. You’re too far gone now.
Sting’s eyes narrow and his face twists, ready to explode, before he breathes, and a smirk curls onto his lips. “You’ll never be apart of your pathetic guild again,” he hisses, “you’ll be stuck in Sabertooth for the rest of your life. Only, Master will make sure your life is a living hell.”
He sends another sharp kick at your side, but says nothing more as he turns, walking off with a huff.
It takes you a moment to gather yourself, slowly pushing yourself up to your knees where you stay, chest heaving, the pain radiating across your entire body, fingers finding your neck and touching the offended skin gently as you hiss in response.
You didn’t regret surrendering, but you couldn’t help but be terrified of what would happen when you walked into the inn that night.
You never should’ve left Fairy Tail. It was a regret you’d probably take to your grave.
“We actually have points thanks to you.”
Blinking at the sound of Gray’s voice, you slowly glance up at him, arm still wrapped tightly around your stomach as you stare up at him.
“I’m glad,” you whisper, smiling gently, “Fairy Tail deserves to win.”
Gray sighs, and stepping towards you, he reaches a hand out; “here,” he says softly, voice a mere whisper. You meet his eyes, before glancing at his hand for a moment, slowly slipping your own in it. He helps you to your feet, holding you up as you waver, hissing in pain, and then, before you know it, before you can even help yourself, you fall against him, forehead pressing against his shoulder as you let out a whimper.
“You know,” Gray says after a moment, “I still remember that kiss.”
Shaking your head, you let out a quiet, somewhat forced laugh.
“What happened, Y/N?”
“You were gone,” you whisper, finally answering. “You all were, but you were too. And... And I couldn’t handle staring at those doors everyday waiting for you to walk through them, only for you never to.” Pulling back, you meet his eyes, “I love you, I wanted to tell you that day, and it crushed me that I never did.”
Hands falling on your waist, Gray shakes his head; “no one would tell me where you were when we came back. It’s like every time I asked, this look would come over them and everyone would fall silent. When I learned it had been seven years, I wanted to see you first and tell you... tell you, I love you too.”
Biting your lip, “it’s too late,” you whisper. “The others must hate me and I... Sting will never let me leave.”
Gray’s grip tightens. “They don’t hate you, Y/N. Everyone misses you. I miss you,” and then, he shifts, cupping your cheek to pull your eyes on his own again. “I need you to come back.”
“But... Sting--”
“We’ll figure it out, Master will figure it out,” Gray argues, shaking his head. “The Guild needs you. I need you.”
Lips parting, you try to find the words, only to realize there are none. So, instead, you simply fall into his arms, holding him tight against you and hold on to his promise.
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flickeringart · 3 years
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Saturn and narcissism
Many people have a faulty perception as to what narcissism really is. It is usually described in terms of overt behavior of self-aggrandizement, vanity and excessive self-love. This would be the over-simplified and non-helpful way to describe it, because it doesn’t pinpoint the reason for, or encompass the complexity of this character trait or “personality disorder”. When it comes to narcissism, the overt self-inflation is not really what it seems because it doesn’t spring from a true sense of grandeur. It stems from a deep sense of lack and insecurity, which the person has over-compensated for. There’s a difference between a person who is genuinely self-loving and someone who needs to focus excessively on the self and one’s success in order to not feel inferior. 
Saturn (and Capricorn for that matter) in the natal chart seems to me to be in line with what one could label “narcissism” because he is generally associated with struggle and deprivation. Saturn is indicative of a psychic lack, which can manifest itself in different ways depending on the sign placement, house placement and aspects made to other planets. Usually, there’s deep inadequacy that is felt, some void that is not filled and coped with through clever defenses. I’d like to think that most people have narcissistic traits; I have certainly not met a single person that hasn’t displayed some kind of cold and walled-off behavior. Of course, this doesn’t mean that everyone can be said to have the personality disorder, but, everyone has Saturn somewhere in their chart and his placement indicates where we have built the most rigid defenses, where we are painfully serious and where we are the most vulnerable. It is also the place where we feel the most undeveloped and infantile, and it’s often hidden behind a façade of competence or proclaimed superiority (or inferiority designed to instill guilt in other people for being better or more “accomplished”).
Narcissistic individuals can be very controlling, manipulative, false and uncaring. They can lead double lives and twist the truth to their liking. This is understandable since they are buffering themselves from a (seemingly) permanent inner wound and can’t live their lives from a place of authenticity – the pain of the void in annihilating and needs to be covered over. Feelings of guilt and shame are usually carefully contained within, but sometimes these surface in response to something small, and there’s an over-reaction that is obviously stemming from something more serious than the “superficial” trigger. Typically, people who are involved with this person feels like they have to walk on eggshells around them and might become hyper alert as to not say something that would provoke the narcissistic injury. The rage storms, critique, pessimism, skepticism and double messages are commonly displayed within personal relationships, rather than publicly, but there certainly are cold, competitive and authoritarian people in the work place and on the public arena as well. The negative traits are typically mixed with charming and likable qualities that cause confusion and cognitive dissonance in others.
In extreme cases of narcissism, to the point where it could appropriately be labeled a disorder, the person might be unable to be in touch with any sense of guilt or remorse for inflicting other people pain. This coldness is more often than not an adaptation to a very unforgiving and controlling early environment that caused the individual to put up high walls between the self and other people. When emotions are continuously taken advantage of and there’s no room for developing something real, the person must emotionally disconnect from life because the world is ruthless and non-conducive to well-being. The price for walling oneself off is internal isolation, emotional starvation and deep depression – but it’s sometimes better to be “voluntarily” starving than to be starved by the world. Although lack is usually seen as a bad thing, it comes with its own hidden treasure. It invites the opportunity to build something that is resilient and reliable that will stand the test of time, something that isn’t reliant on circumstances to exist. If anything, Saturn lends itself to being self-motivated because everyone in the external is a threat and would take pleasure (even if it’s not admitted to) in seeing another fail. Humans are quick to take delight, however slight, in another person’s relative disadvantage and weakness. People feed off of the pain of others, to varying degrees of severity.
In my own experience, I’ve found that people can be very nice and encouraging and openly supportive, only to make you feel at ease, and then they use that openness to that they’ve created in order to disempower you through instilling doubt and shame when it suits them. This is exactly how Saturn works. His function is to disarm the “opponent” (everyone is a potential threat) in order to protect the personal ego from facing annihilation. His attempt is essentially to strip away everything that isn’t real and pure within through playing the devil’s advocate. People play this ruthless game of the “devil” with each other all the time – especially when they feel vulnerable and need to drag someone down in the pit of self-doubt with them. People point out each other’s shortcomings, their deficiencies, their falsity and their hypocrisy. No one is as keen to point out the wrong doings of others than the Saturnian because he is striving for realness and substance. Everything that is built on shaky ground will be destroyed in his presence. The same can be said about the narcissistic individual – he will accuse others of being or doing the very things he is afraid are his own sins, primarily to deflect the shame, but also to test the other person’s realness or integrity. That which shatters under pressure is not very reliable and the Saturnian is looking for quality and substance. The sad thing is that just about anything can be dismantled and broken in this world – except that which can’t. What that is exactly is for people to find out for themselves.
It is often said that people with narcissism live in a false reality where everything is taken personally and the slightest hint at criticism and disapproval will tip them over into frenzy. The reaction isn’t false nor is it purely due to living in a false reality; it is a fact that people in general aren’t full-fledged saints. I have yet to meet a person that is so completely void of an ego that they don’t have any sore spots and won’t bite back if they feel that they’ve been attacked. I also haven’t met any person who has 100% altruistic motives. People nudge and coax each other all the time, which can be seen as quite innocent, but it still stems from a desire to get one’s own way. In a sense, one could claim that people only seem to care about another if there has been some kind of identification and projection of inner subconscious qualities on the other – and even that is not true caring because one really does it for the self, even if it doesn’t seem like it because it’s unconscious. A narcissistic individual with apparent difficulty to include other’s well-being as their own is perhaps more capable to do something purely altruistic because it would not give them any pleasure to be “selfless”. In other words, there is no secondary gain in genuinely acting in someone else’s best interest for these types – not even emotional satisfaction. Empathy that comes naturally is beautiful, but when it doesn’t and has to be acquired against all odds, there’s opportunity for great growth. This opportunity is character building and humbling – it really is the opportunity of building something of substance from the ground up.
Lack is not ultimately a bad thing if its treasures are valued instead of dismissed and ignored as meaningless. Being “without” is an opportunity if one can stretch one’s perception beyond the discomfort of the present. The psychic void of shame that is felt can only be filled from the inside. By cutting out the middle man (that is, “external supply”) the person becomes truly self-sufficient and non-complacent in dealing with life. Saturn is not a bad planet per se, even though it is traditionally labeled “malefic”. It simply requires more consciousness on the part of the individual and more deliberate effort. Narcissism can be a byproduct of the Saturnian dynamic, but its ugliness can be a blessing in disguise.
—————
Note: I’m not ”blaming astrology” for causing a mental disorder in this post, I’m simply exploring the Saturnian archetype and how it correlates with certain behaviors. I don’t believe any planet ”causes” specific behavior but I think that it can point to an underlying archetypal pattern at the core of certain behavioral dynamics. As stated, Saturn is representative of lack, defences and restriction in astrology - which are all necessary psychological functions. Like any function, they can be effective and healthy, but there’s always a downside to any function. I’m exploring the downside in this post.
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actuallysaiyan · 3 years
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Sasuke Uchiha Spicy/N-S-F-W alphabet!
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Sasuke isn’t very into aftercare like some other people might be. He’ll probably just get himself cleaned up, and he’ll give you a washcloth or something like that. Afterwards, he just goes back to doing what he normally does. He might give you a sweet, little kiss and if you want to shower with him, he won’t say no. Don’t expect too much from Sasuke after sex.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Sasuke would probably say his eyes are his favorite body part. It’s kind of an obvious answer, but that doesn’t bother him one bit. His eyes have an amazing prowess and he’s not going to let anyone tell him otherwise.
On his partner, he hates to admit it, but it’s always going to be their smile. It’s warm, sunny and makes him feel wanted and loved. It’s his one weakness in a partner, and it has to do with the fact that people who love and care about him always smiled at him.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
All Uchihas have a breeding kink, and that’s the hill I will die on. Sasuke definitely wants to pump you full of his cum, and he’ll definitely hope you’ll get pregnant so that he can continue his clan. He needs you to help carry on the Uchiha name, and he’s not afraid of fucking you for hours and pumping you full of cum.
As for you, he’s going to enjoy overstimulating you. Just the thought of you whimpering and whining as he fucks you over and over, making you cum for the umpteenth time...it’s just something that absolutely drives him insane. 
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He would absolutely never admit it, but he’s interested in maybe having a threesome with you and Naruto. The idea of the two of them dominating you is something he fantasizes about more than he’d like to say so. It’s not like it’s something he’s going to beg you or Naruto to do, but if the situation were to arise...well, let’s just say he wouldn’t say no.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Sasuke isn’t experienced, but he is quite the prodigy with almost everything else. He’s very naturally talented at so many things and he enjoys practicing and training until he gets insanely good at something. So, he’s definitely going to know what’s going on before he even gets to try it. He’s just that good.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
This is a toss up between cowgirl or the mating press. The man wants to fuck many babies into you, but he also enjoys watching you ride him like crazy. Just seeing you bounce up and down on his cock, he’s going to be watching you with intent.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Sasuke is hardly ever goofy or humorous, but he might make a dirty joke. It comes out very sarcastically, but it’s very sexy when it’s coming from him. He’s very serious about sex and life. You won’t see him joking around much, but he may crack a smile from time to time while having sex.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Sasuke is clean-shaven down there. He doesn’t like the way it feels when he has sex, and he also doesn’t have a whole lot of body hair. The body hair he does have is very dark, and so the carpet definitely matches the drapes.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Sasuke is very serious during the moment, and sometimes he can be very sweet and caring. Most of the time, he treats you a little bit like a sex slave that’s basically an incubator for his children...which is something you both agreed to when you got into the relationship. He will show you he cares often, but it’s not always what you need to hear or what you need to see. Sasuke has a hard time being romantic, but he does try as best as he can.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
This isn’t something he does that often, but if you aren’t around and the mood strikes him, he’ll find a nice quiet place to do this. It’s just not his favorite thing to do, as he’d rather be doing the act itself.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
What kinks does he not have? ^^’ He loves creampies, breeding kink, tying you up, BDSM...the list goes on and on. He very much enjoys dominating you and showing you a very good time. One of his all-time favorite kinks is overstimulation, in which you are just a moaning and whimpering mess beneath him and you’ve drenched him in your own cum.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Sasuke prefers doing it on the bed, but he’s not against doing it in other places. He enjoys taking you on almost any surface that he can, and he’s not opposed to having semi-public sex. It makes him so aroused to have the risk of almost getting caught by passersby. It’s something that really fuels him on.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
As stated above, Sasuke likes being fueled on by being almost caught by someone. He also will get so turned on if you whisper in his ear...but something that really gets him going is if you show him lots of affection. He likes to pretend he hates it, but in reality, nothing turns him on more than you showing him how much you truly love him. It makes his heart race!
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Sasuke is pretty much into almost anything, but he does like to have your consent before trying anything new. He doesn’t seem the type to want that, but he is that kind of guy. If it doesn’t fly with you, it’s not going to happen. He loves you and cherishes you, so he needs to make sure you’re enjoying yourself as well.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Ohhhh Sasuke absolutely adores oral. He actually loves giving it, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like receiving it. If you get on your knees in front of him and start sucking him off, he’s going to basically crumble in your hands and turn into putty. If you look up at him with your doe eyes as you deep throat him, he might actually cum right then and there.
As for giving, he enjoys licking and sucking you until you cum all over his face and chest. He’ll keep stimulating you until you’re basically fighting him off of you. It’s just something that he enjoys, and if you whine and whimper, it adds to the whole act of course.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Sasuke loves being rough but also teasingly slow. He loves switching it up on you, and he doesn’t hesititate to switch up the pace during sex. Seeing you gasp in surprise or moan in confusion if he tries to change the pace on you. It’s always surprising, but you absolutely adore it. It’s something you admire about Sasuke, and it never gets old.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Sasuke enjoys quickies and if it’s all he has time for, he won’t say no to them at all. It’s actually one of his preferred methods of having sex. Having you bent over a desk, a sink or even in some crummy bar bathroom, he’s going to take you to pound town ;) He loves how aroused you get quickly for him, and it spurs him on.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Sasuke gets motivated to fuck by the idea of taking risks with sex. Whether it be getting caught or getting you pregnant, it drives him crazy. He will be consumed by lust if you let him take risks during sex. He loves to finger you while other people are around or even using a pair of vibrating panties on you while you’re in public. 
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Sasuke can go for quite a few rounds and his refractory period is AMAZING. This man can fuck for hours and make you cum so much, and he’s barely broken a sweat. This is how he enjoys fucking you anyways.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Sasuke has tons of toys, for the both of you. He likes to get off by having a vibrator strapped to his cock, while he presses a vibrator to your clit. He’s not opposed to toys and it’s actually one of his favorite ways to get off.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Sasuke adores to tease you. If you whine and whimper, he will call you a brat and pull away from you. Sometimes, he likes to tie you up and tease you for hours. Hearing you beg for him to do something is like music to his ears. It doesn’t get old and he’s not going to stop doing it.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Sasuke loves it if you’re loud, but he’s not overly loud himself. He will make little noises to let you know he’s enjoying himself, and he’ll curse and swear if it feels really good, but he’s not super loud.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Sasuke likes to be babied if he’s not feeling well. He’ll come seek you out and ask you to play with his hair and make his favorite food. He may seem like a completely independent person, but he does need love and affection most of the time. He’s just not going to show it always.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Sasuke has a big dick. All Uchiha men have big dicks. It’s curved a little and the girth is amazing, but the length is where it’s at. He’s a good 8.5 inches ;)
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Sasuke has a high sex drive, but it doesn’t distract him from his everyday life unless he absolutely lets it. It’s something he enjoys doing with you a lot, but he’s not going to drop his passions to have sex whenever he can. He likes to plan out his sex with you, or be spontaneous when you least expect it.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He likes to watch you sleep after sex. It soothes him to watch you cling to him, telling him you love him and then you drift off to sleep. It’s one of the only times he gets true peace in his heart...so it takes a little while for him to fall asleep.
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mycrofts-gunbrella · 3 years
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Caring is the Greatest Advantage (Mycroft Holmes x Reader) Part 4
A/N- Hoping this one has come out a bit happier than the last instalment! I’m trying my best to not write Mycroft too out of character and focusing on how much more emotion he had displayed in season 4.. I have a few more chapters planned out so far and I am hoping to, at the very least, update weekly! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and, please, don’t forget to leave a comment letting me know what you think! Kind words or constructive criticism are always welcomed and inspire me to write more! Thank you!
Word Count: 4416
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"Did you fancy doing anything else today? Well, this evening I suppose suits better." You asked Mycroft, clearing up the plates from dinner. Dinner here being a term used loosely- after the emotional turmoil only a few hours ago at the revelation of both yesterday's events and your inner attractions, neither of you particularly felt like cooking, or eating for that matter, and settled on a sandwich just to provide some energy.
The energy of the room had felt different now, now that everything was in the open, now that the pair of you had finally broken that barrier to move further in your relationship. It was nice, calming. The pair of you weren't children, the confirmation of shared attraction didn't mean you immediately jumped each other, or feel the need to be constantly touching in some aspect or another- but the mere idea of knowing that the attraction between you was mutual, and that you wanted to act upon that was more than enough for now. It felt incredible.
"Mmm, what did you have in mind?" He hummed back, standing from the small table in the kitchen to help you with the washing up- not that you weren't fully capable of doing so yourself, it just felt nice acting a little domestic- electing to wash the dishes himself and leaving you to dry them and put them back in the cupboard. You shrugged, closing the cupboard's door and leaning against the counter.
"St James' is just round the corner isn't it? We could go for a walk? The weather is oddly nice for September." You suggested, grinning as you watched Mycroft look down at his current attire of jogging bottoms and a band t-shirt. You didn't need the power of a Holmes to know what that face meant. "Compromise. You don't have to wear the joggers in public, but you also cannot wear a suit, I swore against it."
"If you're suggesting for me to leave my home in my undergarments you've completely lost your mind." You looked at Mycroft and allowed his brain to think a little more. "Oh bugger you can't mean-"
"You and I both know you have a pair of jeans in your wardrobe Myc. Joggers or Jeans, the choice is yours." Mycroft opened and closed his mouth multiple times before rolling his eyes and muttering something under his breath that sounded Latin. "Oi at least have the decency to do it in French so I have a chance of understanding what you say when you swear at me." You quipped, jokingly throwing two fingers up at him as he gave in and sulked up the stairs.
"Tu seras la mort de moi." His voice was still quiet, but loud enough for you to understand him.
"Et pourtant tu serais perdu sans moi." You shouted back, teasing a little. Mycroft didn't answer but smiled to himself as he walked into his bedroom, agreeing with you completely but too high in his pride to admit it. Downstairs, you rummaged through the other bags from Anthea, feeling thankful as you saw that she had equally bought you some hoodies too, pulling on a maroon one before grabbing and sliding on your boots. A few minutes later you heard Mycroft's voice from upstairs, muffled completely excluding the 'goodbye' that sounded as he left the bedroom and made his way down the stairs. "Planning my arrest were you? Should I be expected to enter the park to MI6 agents dragging me into a car and shipping me off somewhere for forcing the British government into denim?" You turned around and saw him in his change of attire, whistling approvingly at the sight of him in the dark grey pair of jeans you had bought him a few years ago- 'because you cannot walk into a pub wearing anything purchased on Savile Row, Mycroft'- and the navy blue blazer he had chosen to match with them; the small evidence of The Who's logo peeking out slightly between the lapels. It was seldom Mycroft wore such casual clothing, but feeling welcomed by your reaction certainly made him more comfortable. Maybe at some point you'd tell him it's because those jeans make his bum look incredible. Mycroft's cheeks flushed and he shook his head, ignoring the noise of encouragement you had made.
"MI5, actually, but do not be too alarmed- I've insisted they only use force if absolutely necessary." He teased, hoisting his scarf from the coat rack by the front door and expertly wrapping it around his neck. You jabbed him lightly in the arm, knowing he was joking but equally wanting to make sure the phone call wasn't from Sherlock already pestering him about something or another. "It's fine, truly. Nothing to cause government upset.. only public." You went to question what he meant but was instead caught off guard by him eyeing you up. "Are you really going out.. in that?" Mycroft gestured to your clothing and for a brief moment you felt a little insecure, frowning slightly at him. He caught on immediately and apologised. "No- I mean.. You will likely get cold, will you not? A hooded sweatshirt isn't the warmest item of clothing I can offer you." You grinned at his concern and just passed him his beloved umbrella (it wasn't raining, but that didn't make a difference) before opening the front door.
"Myc I have pulled bodies out of the River Thames wearing nothing more than a pencil skirt and a blouse, I will be fine." You grabbed his hand and tugged him outside, shutting the door behind him. He wanted to argue back but he knew any attempt would be futile- you both knew that you could be more stubborn than Mycroft and so he didn't wish to cause harm on what could be a splendid evening. You took your normal position beside Mycroft, your hand resting in the crook of his elbow, while his rested in his pocket, the other holding onto his umbrella handle. The chill of London's air brushed the back of your neck, leading you to pull the hood of your jumper over your head before continuing your walk, not allowing Mycroft to have the pleasure of knowing he was right. but also not missing the smirk that tugged at his lips as he noticed- of course he bloody did.
The short walk to the park was in a comfortable silence. Mycroft found himself thinking over today's events, how even he couldn't have predicted that this would be how it would end. He was certain you would have left earlier, he'd even prepared himself for the chances of a punch to his nose in anger, and so never in his right mind did he expect you to stay, let alone embrace him while he cried, forgive him for the unforgivable, to... kiss him. He felt childish thinking back on it, but he kept replaying that moment over in his mind. It wasn't a proper kiss, it was barely there at all, and yet, if Mycroft thought hard enough he could still feel the light pressure of your lips on his, and it left him eager for more.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Your voice distracted him as you walked down the final street before the park. He blinked, looking down at you, at your joint arms and offering a smile.
"Just that I didn't expect today to happen the way that events turned out." You opened your mouth to make a comment about how Mycroft knew everything but he cut you off. "I deduce, I cannot predict the future, Y/N."
"But you can mind read?" He raised his other hand, one finger to his mouth in a 'shhh' motion and you grinned.
"Penny for yours?" You hummed in response as you looked at yourself in the reflection of a car window and pouted, rounding the corner to walk through the park's gates.
"I look like an egg." Mycroft let out a rare laugh, caught off guard by your answer. "That you do, my dear. But a rather beautiful egg." It was your turn to flush now. Getting any form of compliment from Mycroft Holmes was a rarity, and when they did come to surface they were usually on one's intellectual skills, or the times where you'd go out to a fancy restaurant and he would claim 'your dress' was beautiful, but never you directly. Your lack of response made Mycroft nervous and he spoke again. "Apologies, upon reflection that was a very backhanded compliment." You squeezed his arm and nudged yourself in closer, welcoming in the warmth his body was emitting.
"No no, I am incredibly flattered to be deemed a beautiful egg." You laughed. "It would make a lovely epitaph don't you thi-." He tensed. "Yeah, sorry, bit soon." You continued your walk for a little further before something clicked in your mind and you stopped in your tracks. Mycroft stumbled a little at the sudden cease in movement and shot you a confused glare. "Myc.. There's nobody else here."
"Excellent observation, Y/N. I now understand why you're so well respected down the Yard."
"Git. I meant.. we're in one of the most tourist centred parts of London, in the early evening, and there's nobody here." Mycroft raised his nose a little in the air, a movement witnessed by anybody else that would be mistaken for smugness, or being pretentious. But on Mycroft you knew it meant he felt a little embarrassed, raising his head ever so higher so you couldn't see the dusting of red on his cheeks. "The phone call... Mycroft bloody Holmes did you abuse your power as a government official to rent out the entirety of St James' park so that nobody would have to see you in your jeans?" He avoided your gaze and you began to laugh, removing your hand from his arm as you wiped a tear that spilled down your cheek out of amusement before tugging him over to a bench that was a few feet away.
"Should I not have?" His tone was light, relaxed knowing that you weren't mad with him and that you found the situation entertaining.
"It's not that.. It's just that nobody else WOULD." You rubbed your numbing fingers together and tucked them inside the sleeve of your hoodie. "You. Are an extraordinary man, Mr Holmes. You never cease to amaze me." He smiled softly, tentatively reaching over to take your half sleeve covered hand into his own pale one.
"And you, are freezing." He commented. You dismissed his assessment and instead focused on the view in front of you, the slight appearance of the London Eye poking above some trees from across the Thames.
"After living here for so long, sometimes I forget how beautiful London truly is." You spoke, shuffling the rest of your hand from your sleeve to lace your fingers between his. He hummed in agreement as he watched on. "And you stole this view from thousands of visitors this evening for the sake of your own dignity and so we could be alone. What do you have? People guarding every entrance? A few loitering around somewhere to make sure there were no stragglers? Christ are they armed? It just so.. so.." Mycroft felt himself become uncomfortable.
"I can be a very selfish person Y/N, you know that."
"I was going to say sexy but now I feel as though I'm not being as sympathetic to the tourists as you were expecting me to be." Mycroft tensed again and you leant to rest your head on his shoulder. "You should probably try to get used to that. I've been waiting a fairly long time to actively be allowed to say things like that to you and it not sound really weird, so I'm making up for lost time."
"How long?" His voice was quiet, likely his mind recovering from you, for the second time that day, calling him such a thing. It wasn't that he didn't like it, he was extremely flattered, but he just found it very hard to believe that you truly thought that way about him; that anyone could. You thought for a moment, childishly using your fingers to count.
"How long since I realised I had a thing for you? As of today it's been 5 years, 3 months and 17 days.. or, in less creepy terms to not make it seem like I've been counting, 2 weeks before I broke up with Thomas. It didn't feel fair to keep dragging him along, especially when I started to look forward to meeting you for dinner much more than I did meeting him for our weekly date night. He's a lovely guy and deserved more than that. I tried for those couple of weeks to get over it but I couldn't." Mycroft stayed silent but you could practically hear his brain whirring. "How long did I wish that you somehow felt the same way about me? Probably 5 minutes after the last thought." You laughed, feeling ridiculous for sounding like a school girl with a crush. "What about you? Pining after me for long or just spontaneously after I kissed you?" You joked, trying to make the whole ordeal feel a little less embarrassing. Mycroft shifted in his seat, laying his focus in the warmth that he could feel spreading to your hand that he held in his. He wasn't the type for large exclamations of emotion, or really speaking about the way he feels at all. But, upon hearing your revelation, he bit the bullet and spoke.
"I have never been the kind of man to experience typical human emotion. Until yourself and Gregory came along, I hadn't even the experience of having acquaintances, let alone.. friends." His eyes stayed forward, watching as the London Eye rotated slowly and focusing on its movements. "Approximately 6 months prior to the time you have mentioned, I began to realise that the way I felt towards you was far different to the way I felt about Gregory, and not the same way I feel towards Sherlock. I pressed the thought into the back of my mind for the better part of a year, before Sherlock told me that you were 'obviously' experiencing some kind of affection towards me, which I told him was preposterous, but from then the thought of you in that aspect felt welcoming. I had never expected in my life to have those kinds of emotions for anybody, let alone have them reciprocated, but I still chose to ignore them. I chose to keep you as my friend rather than risk losing you at all.. Then Eurus happened. Seeing you on that.. screen. Knowing what they could do.. Knowing I could lose you anyway.. it flicked something inside of my brain that made me regret not talking to you about it sooner. I was trying to work out the right way to bring it up, but then you did it for me." The side of his mouth flicked up into a small smile and disappeared, the embarrassment of talking so much on emotion taking over.
"You still look cute when you're embarrassed." You commented, not wanting to elaborate on his wordings more. It meant everything to you that he had even said that much, so you weren't going to push him further out of his comfort zone by pestering on. "Though as much as I'd love to look at your little flustered cheeks in this moonlight, I have to admit that you were right and I am bloody freezing, can we go back?" You took your hand back from his briefly to rub against your other one, a feeble attempt to bring warmth back into your fingertips. Though warmth soon enveloped round your neck as you felt Mycroft begin to wrap his cashmere scarf around you, folding and wrapping it expertly until you felt comfortably warm, taking a moment to breathe in the scent of his cologne that loitered in the fabric.
"I'm always right." He grinned smugly, standing from the bench and offering his elbow out to you once more. You nudged it away, missing the disappointed look on Mycroft's face, before instead grabbing his hand, lacing your fingers between his and tucking them into his pocket for warmth, your other arm folding over your body to hold his arm.
"I'll prove you wrong on that at some point, mark my words." You beamed, starting the walk back to Queen Anne's Gate and relishing in the warmth of the taller man beside you. Mycroft couldn't hide the small smile that appeared on his face from your action, choosing himself to push closer and close the gap between you even more. He swiftly pulled his phone from his pocket, leaving his umbrella dangling from his wrist, as he made a quick call to Anthea.
"I suppose we better let the tourists have their park back.. at least for now." He spoke, more to you than to Anthea but nonetheless she relayed the message to security who began to pack up and reopen the gates to the public. It had barely been a minute before they had all left, all except the PA in question who watched on fondly upon seeing the pair of you leaving, fighting the urge to text the man that it was about damn time.
***
The walk back was incredibly quick and you soon found yourselves walking back through the front door, discarding layers of warmer clothing, Mycroft opting to put the sweats back on in place of his jeans.
"I'm thinking we have a cuppa and then head to bed? I'm knackered." You proposed, flicking the kettle on and settling back to rest on the edge of the kitchen counter. Mycroft hummed in agreement, reaching to grab the necessities. You quickly kicked off from the counter and wandered back into the front room, pulling Mycroft in tow. "Seems as good a time as any to have some music on, Greg made me this mixtape a few weeks ago. He said it's some classics I already love, and a bunch that I'm going to, so it sounds pretty promising." From behind you Mycroft opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off. "If you're about to chastise me for calling a CD a mixtape, don't waste your breath. Mix-CD just sounds horrendous." He stayed silent, inwardly amused at the fact you hadn't even seen his face and yet knew exactly what he was going to say, and you called him the 'mind-reader'. The Kinks began to play quietly through the speakers, 'Have a Cuppa Tea' fittingly being the first song to play on shuffle. Usually you despised any type of mixtape, or 'best of' albums, claiming rather strongly that they defeated the point of artists bringing out the original albums, ruining the story behind each one. But when it came to Greg you trusted him completely with music taste and had never been disappointed thus far. The click of the kettle in the kitchen sounded, making you walk into the other room and prepare your drinks- you hadn't bothered asking Mycroft the way he had it, you had that burnt to memory years ago. Perching back onto the sofa besides Mycroft, you handed him the beverage and sighed in content.
"You missed the Sex Pistols. Forgive me if I cannot hear you for the next 20 minutes, I have a feeling that my ears have bled." He teased, taking a sip of his tea and settling it on the table beside him. Before you had a chance to answer, another Kinks song began to sound in the room, the slower rythm of Waterloo Sunset.
"You're going to pay for saying those things, you know I love the Sex Pistols." You pouted, moving your own tea to the coffee table. "I think, Mr Holmes, you need to dance with me in ways of apology." You grinned, standing up and holding your hand out to him. "It's a rare slower song from Lestrade's musical repertoire so I'm not expecting you to start headbanging or anything.."
"Do people slow dance to Rock music normally?" He asked, smiling.
"No they don't.. but when have you ever been a man who follows the rules of normality?" He took your hand at that, standing himself up and leading you to an emptier part of the room, tea forgotten. You softly placed your hands on his shoulders and rested your head on his chest, his reaching round to settle on the small of your back as you began to sway together slowly, the only sound that could be heard was the music and Mycroft's erratic heartbeat that he was sure meant he was going to have a heart attack. "See, this is nice." He hummed in agreement, the vibrations of his deep voice reaching his chest and vibrating against your cheek. "We could have done this years ago.." You commented, thinking on all the lost time you had with Mycroft, all of the years you had listened to music together and could have danced, holding each other as close as you were now.
"We'd have struggled being as Gregory only gave you this CD a few weeks ago.." You laughed and swatted his shoulder.
"You know what I mean.. oh the power of cowardice and fear." You closed your eyes, holding onto this moment as though you had never wanted it to end. Alas, the song began to come to a close, and yet neither of you made an attempt to move. The instrumental introduction to your favourite Clash song began to play and you grinned. "Now this is a song. I'm surprised Greg put it on here, I'd have thought he'd be sick of it by now with the amount of times I play it at work." As the vocals began you felt Mycroft stiffen in your arms, the fingers on the hands on your back began to dig into your skin slightly, not painful, but protective and his heartbeat picked up pace even more.
"Could we skip this one? Please?" His tone of voice was different this time, not the calm, relaxed voice that he had earlier, nor the playful one he had only moments ago. He sounded.. unsettled.
"You're joking right? Mycroft this relationship will have a rocky start if you force me to turn of The Clash at all, let alone bloody 'Death or Glory.'" He tensed again hearing the song's title.
"Please.. it's the one.." Your brain began to piece together his words and you lifted your head from its position on his chest, looking up and seeing the pained expression on his face. Of course, out of every song in the world, this was the one you were listening to when Mycroft said he saw you on the screen, inches away from death. You closed your eyes and sighed.
"I'm not letting this happen. I'm okay, I'm here, alive. This is my happy song, and I have so many wonderful memories from it." It wasn't a lie. The sound held memories of countless car rides with Greg, it was the song that played when you had the phone call about your promotion at work. It had even been playing when your sister phoned up to let you know that she was pregnant with your niece. Both times. It was a bloody good song. "I understand why you don't like it, but you just need to associate it with something better, give it a new memory." You moved your arms from his shoulders to wrap around his neck, shifting one hand to place onto his cheek as you reached yourself up on your tiptoes to become closer to his height.
You caught his focus, making his eyes land on your own rather than being dazed as his mind went back to you dancing on that screen. You leaned yourself in closer, just enough for your lips to ghost over his own, before closing the gap. Unlike the last peck you had given him, this was a far more passionate kiss, giving him the emotion you had kept pent up for the last five years. His grip on your back softened, one hand reaching to your upper back to push you closer to him, his lips moving against yours beautifully. His body began to relax, the tension in his shoulders disappeared as he leant himself forward, easing you back flat on your feet. Had you have not known any better, you would have never guessed that Mycroft had never kissed somebody before; he was just a bloody quick learner. You ran your tongue along his bottom lip softly, grinning as he let out a quiet moan. The need for air soon took over and you allowed yourself to separate, not moving any further than leaving your foreheads touching. "There. Now when we hear it, that's what you need to think of instead. Christ knows I will be." You laughed, your hands guiding themselves from his neck slowly down his chest and pushing him back slightly. "I'm going to go shower, so meet me upstairs? I know I promised more Hardy but I would really like to go to sleep if it's all the same to you." Mycroft only nodded, feeling you peck his lips once more before disappearing out of the room. The song had finished by now, having been replaced by who Mycroft believed were The Rolling Stones, but he wasn't really listening.
He stood still in his spot, mind replaying over the moment as he smiled fondly to himself. He could hear the shower running upstairs along with your voice, muffled but clear enough to understand that you were still singing along to the last song. Placing his fingers against his lips, Mycroft tried to imitate the pressure you had placed on them moments ago, thinking about how your lips felt against his, properly this time, not just the two second thing on the sofa this morning. His chest felt warm, stomach flipping and in a rare moment Mycroft felt genuinely happy. In all his life up to this moment, caring had never been an advantage, had always led to him getting hurt. But maybe, just maybe, you were right about how you were going to prove him wrong one day. And he hoped to whatever sentient being that may or not be watching over him that you were going to prove him wrong about that.
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peculiarpatches · 3 years
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𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 - 𝘫𝘢𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘹 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘹 𝑓𝑒𝑚 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
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I’m republishing this since it hardly got notes the last time and I’m ~ crazy ~ and need validation that my stories are good. Out of all the Twilight ones I’ve been working on, this still is one of my favorite’s because it’s the first one I’ve ever written. It’s the first one that got me inspired to write for the other characters, too. So, as much as I love this one, I hope you love it, too.
A/N: This story includes smut. If this makes you uncomfortable, don’t read. Simple as that. 
 There’s not much other than oral and dirty talk, however. Either way, I hope you enjoy.
Centuries — that's how long Alice and Jasper have been together for.  The two were simply inseparable; Stuck to each other like glue. It'd take millions of weapons  and hundreds of people to try and tear them apart, no matter what happened or what went on in their crazy, immortal lives, it didn't matter, no, because they lived for each other. 
Their lives were better, happier, because of that other person.  
And nothing - nor, nobody - was ever going to change the fact.   Jasper wasn't one to express his feelings (though, he could control other people's emotions,  ironically enough) but that small grin you  see every now and then across his face  was all thanks to Alice.
 The smile belonged to her because she was the one that brought peace, happiness, and love back into his life, even when he swore he'd never find it. Hell, he swore he'd never find any of those listed off again, if he was being honest here. But... she somehow did it. She brought all of those into his life along with hope and faith.  (Alice told him that very saying too upon their first encounter  together - the moment she took his hand with her own, she felt hope. And she hadn't felt that in centuries. He never met the gal before, not having a single clue as to who she was. Here he was, sitting in a  diner in  Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, trying to figure out where he planned to go afterwards, where his next stop would be within the states when an attractive woman walked up to him, letting a happy, relieved sigh fall from her lips. "It's about time." She announced, the grin growing across her face as she slid in the opposite side of the booth, guiding her hand out to take Jasper's hand within her much smaller one. She gave his fingers a squeeze and explained the situation, the happiness on her face only growing wider and brighter as she continued to talk. Jasper was  confused, to say the very least;  But her emotions overwhelmed him so much, in his gut and in his heart, he felt as if he could trust her, right then and there. 
Even if they have only have met that day, she spoke about the future and to others, they would have laughed and called her crazy. But the way she spoke, so open, so generous, loving and kind, all these feelings directed towards him, he felt it, too - love. Love at first sight, if you will. And Jasper had ever only felt that once and it lasted briefly.  But this time, as he continued to listen to her speak,  a tiny grin found it's way across his lips. In-love, he was. As absurd, and as crazy as it may sound, he could feel it. They belonged together. And the gal - Alice - was exactly like him, too. Of course, she would be, having a power like that and all.  Alice saw them in the future, had seen Jasper plenty of times in her mind but didn't know exactly when she'd be meeting him.  She admitted today, however, she knew.  Jasper even said he felt something today, too. He just didn't exactly know what it was. But he felt it. The emotions were difficult to ignore. He laughed and leaned close, whispering to Alice he assumed these feelings he felt within him were nothing but hunger. "You won't have to worry about that, either." She told him. "I know a way of keeping not only you safe but me, as well. To keep your hunger satisfied without harming or needing to hunt humans." Alice continued. Jasper cocks his head to the side, confusion written across his facial features, as he wondered what she meant by this. Instead of asking, as he figured he'd understand more of the situation later, he chuckled and gave her hand a squeeze which she happily returned. "Well, now you have me and I promise you, I won't ever let a pretty gal like you go, either." He said, making the smile on her face somewhat bigger than what it was before. "I wouldn't let you lose me, anyways." She responded. "Besides, I see the future here, don't I? None of that will be happening. You're stuck with me, Jasper." Jasper laughed gently, "I'm more than perfectly fine w'tha, darlin'." He commented, his accent  drawing out as he spoke.)   (Love - Jasper never wanted to look for it. Never sat down and thought about having a significant other.   He assumed he'd be alone, forever. And as dull and as depressing as that may be, he was content with it. Who could love someone as broken and as damaged as he? His past was fucked up. Surely, his future was going to remain the exact same, too. So, to Jasper, he figured it'd be best to be alone. He didn't want to put his baggage onto another person for them to carry and haul out. He'd do it himself, without a doubt or without a care in the world; he'd drag his own baggage behind him.
 Not once, did he ever think or want to allow people to see what secrets he held within the case, within himself.  But, life is amusing and love has a funny way of revealing itself. Though, so secretive and mysterious, hardly ever speaking a word to strangers, let alone any other vampires, a girl who saw the future and saw him in it, already knew all the secrets he kept hidden away from the world. 
Alice knew what Jasper's past was like. And she still accepted him. Still loved him. "If you're broken, you don't have to stay broken." She said, that same very night. "I won't let you be, neither. We'll fix each other's broken, shattered pieces, we'll place them right back together. Fit the two of them together like puzzle pieces. 'Cause, I believe that's what you are to me. You are the piece of the puzzle I've been searching to find. Been waiting centuries to come across.  And now that I finally found you, I have hope and faith once more - that everything is okay. And I hope that you believe me, too, when I say these words but; I love you, Jasper.. and again," she joked, a goofy grin playing out on her cheeks, "I see the future and therefore, I know you believe me, too. I also know you love me as well." 
And Jasper said nothing. He only chuckled deeply and nodded. He met her then and there, not once meeting her elsewhere before but  he loved her, too. And he didn't need to say those three words out loud because she already knew how much she meant to him.) (His future was brighter, better, because of Alice. And he couldn't thank her enough for showing him that life was better when you found that special someone by your side.  He found both - happiness and hope - within not only her but the Cullen family. Alice along with a man named Carlisle, even helped Jasper with his hunger and taught him how to remain strong and fight his urges.
 As Alice mentioned beforehand, back at the diner, she was going to help him. And she did. Not once did she ever break her promise to him.) However, that's when everything falls back onto him. When everything starts breaking. Decades. Centuries. Years and years together. It was bound to happen, eventually, right? Boredom. Falling out of love. Finding someone better to fulfill her needs and satisfy her. You get the idea. Jasper was afraid that Alice would announce she no longer loved Jasper, for whatever reason that may be, he didn't know. But he was going to find out today.  *~* Even if he hadn't been watching Alice,  it wouldn't and didn't matter because he could feel her emotions with as much as a second glance and a look in her direction, an overwhelming sensation would flood over him instantly. So, even if he wasn't watching her, he could feel everything she was attempting (but failing) to hide.    The typical, loving and affectionate gaze she would always give him was no longer there.  If it was, it  lasted a millisecond before she'd drop her head, strands of hair falling in front of her face and a frown would replace the look.  Of course, this was not only concerning but worrisome for Jasper. Had he done something wrong? 
If so, what did he do? What could he do to fix it? He didn't want to sound like Edward before he met Bella — dull and depressing and nothing but those but it's exactly how he felt and he hated every aspect of that. 
He and the rest of the Cullen’s made fun of Edward for being so gloom and grey but now, alas, here Jasper was, feeling that exact way. 
Oh, how the tables have turned.  Even Edward, the petty little shit he always was and will forever be, even made a joke about it.  Luckily, he had Bella beside him so Jasper couldn't abuse Edward's emotions and make him feel what he was feeling because she could put up a shield and block it out, protecting Edward.  "Just go and talk to her." Edward said once he saw the look on Jasper's face.
  "Trust me, I'm the mind reader out of all of us here. I know what I'm talking about and I know what's going on. And no, before you ask, I will not give you the answer as to what exactly is going on. You just have to go and find out yourself." He said, tilting his head back as laughter left his lips. 
 Bella scoffed and gave a playful hit to her husband's shoulders before giving Jasper an apologetic smile. The two then had left, going to go and find their daughter, leaving Jasper all alone with his thoughts and worse of all - his feelings.  Taking a deep, shaky breath, Jasper decides it's now or never.  He creeps up the stairs, and the closer he gets to his and Alice's room, he hears her angelic laughter and can practically see her, smiling from ear to ear as the giggles erupted her and hung into the air. Jasper loved her laughter, loved seeing her smile even more. 
He just hated the fact he wasn't the one who was the meaning behind it. If not him, who was?  "Darlin'?" He walks in front of the bedroom door, giving a gentle tap across the frame of it. He rocks back and forth on the heels of his feet as he anxiously waited for an answer. The loud laughter he once heard died down quickly which makes him feel even more anxious. 
Biting his lip, he shuffles and rocks his body back and forth as he still continued to wait until the door was to be answered, not wanting to walk in and upset Alice more by invading her privacy. 
The laughter is replaced now, however, with faint giggles and muffled, hushed whispers. He hears some shuffling and the bed squeaking before finally, Alice is pulling the door open. She stands there, giving Jasper a sheepish, yet shy smile. "Hi, baby." She cooed, leaning up on her tippy toes as she plants a gentle yet adoring kiss on Jasper's cheek.  This took him by surprise because not only did she call him 'baby' but she kissed him and it felt like she hadn't kissed him in years. So, this being said, it brought a smile to his lips. 
 Her upcoming sentence  brought the sides of his lips upward even more, the grin growing and his nerves and anxiety, slowly, dying out.  "You know, I've been expecting you. Wondered when you'd come up here." She said as her feet came back to touch the floor. Alice reaches over, taking Jasper's hand within her own and walks into their bedroom, closing the door behind them as Jasper walks in.  There, on the bed, was another female. She glanced up and smiled shyly, the same way Alice did when Jasper knocked at the door and she saw him behind the frame of it. 
 "Jasper, you remember (Y/N), right?" She asked, dropping his hand as she makes way to the queen sized mattress and makes herself comfortable on the bed, next to (Y/N). (Y/N) (L/N). They've only met a few times and even then, it seemed so long ago, Jasper had to rethink of when and where they met at.   The graduation party they held and then Bella and Edward's wedding. 
Of course, he remembers now.  Jasper and Alice both would even bump into her while taking a stroll into town every once in awhile and in high school, they shared a few classes together.   ("You two enjoy walks in the rain too?" She had gushed, laughing as she held the umbrella above her head, trying her best to ignore and dodge the rain that fell from the sky above them. Alice and Jasper looked at each other and Alice giggled and nodded. 
"Yes. It's our favorite thing to do. One of our favorite things to do... Would you like to walk with us?" She asked. (Y/N)'s face bled a crimson red and she shook her head before mumbling about how sadly, she couldn't, though she wishes she could. She had to go back to work. She was only walking to grab a quick bite to eat, one that wasn't at the place she worked at. 
"Next time then." Alice said, the smile never dropping from her face. "Of course." (Y/N) replied before waving goodbye to the both of them and walking in the opposite direction.)  Now, coming face to face with her, after a few years of not seeing her, he wouldn't deny the obvious fact; (Y/N) was as beautiful as Alice.   Alice, though, she wasn't the jealous type, he'd never admit that or say it.  Jasper preferred to keep that thought to himself. (Y/N) was human. Jasper remembered. His smile was quick to fall down into a frown as he looked at Alice, wondering why she brought a human into their home. 
She, so easily, could expose our secret too! He thought, the frown only increasing and getting deeper as he furrowed his eyebrows together, trying to come up with an answer as to why she could be here.  And right as that thought popped into his head, Alice gave a nervous giggle and shook her head from side to side. "I'm no mind reader like Edward is but I know what you're thinking, Jas. Come, sit down with us. We've got to talk." And as confused as he may be, - especially with what she just said in front of a human, no less -  Jasper obliges and sits in the middle of them both, the mattress sinking beneath his weight. "What's going on?" He asks,  crossing his arms over his chest as a mixture of emotions paint itself across his face.   Alice, taking a long and deep breath, begins to speak. "Jasper," She began, "It's obvious I haven't been myself lately. I know you've been noticing it. Everybody has, I'm sure."  "Yes," He replied, chuckling lowly as he chewed on his bottom lip, still not piecing two and two together.  "I'm very aware of that, doll."  "Well, I don't know how else to tell you this but that reason is because of (Y/N)."   Once the sentence leaves her, Alice reached over and grabbed (Y/N)'s hand, squeezing it tightly.  Jasper blinked. Once, twice. He didn't understand. Alice and (Y/N) both looked at each other once they took notice of his expression and they erupted into a storm of giggles. 
Almost as soon as it started, however, they stopped and their expressions were quick to change. They went from laughing to a deadpanned glare, both girls wearing masks of seriousness.  "I've been having visions. Of this exquisite, gorgeous and oh, so wonderful girl. And, well, Jasper, some of us don't just have one love but we have two. Maybe even more... but in this situation, in this scenario, it's you two." She explained.  Jasper went from watching his girlfriend to giving a quick glance to (Y/N)'s direction. 
She sat there, silent, but her cheeks spoke another story. One of which, Jasper easily could read and make out.  Her cheeks, like the day they bumped into each other in town, were as red as a rose and she was biting her lower lip as she fumbled with her hands, twisting and twiddling with them as Alice continued to speak.  "I know you feel the same way about her as well. Don't even try to lie or deny it. I've been seeing the visuals everywhere, they play out like scenes in a movie. The feelings for her are the same you have for me. You gained them at the party we had a few months back, the same way I did." And Jasper sat there, feeling dumbfounded but more importantly, he felt foolish too. Of course, he couldn't get away with his thoughts or actions. Alice could see everything. Even before it happened. "That's why I've been distancing myself." Alice continued. "I didn't mean to, my love. It has nothing to do with you, either. You're as perfect as you were when I first met you. So, do not fret and think you have done something wrong because you haven't. However, I had to have you come to me before I could tell you what was going on and why I was acting the way I was. Or... well, come to us, I should say... So, we could show you how this all would work. Us, three, together." Alice's tongue darted out of her mouth as she wets her lips, a look of seduction rising behind her eyes.  "Besides, isn't it every man's fantasy to have two, beautiful women beside  him?" "Or, perhaps underneath him?" And that was the first thing (Y/N) had said during this entire conversation. Jasper would be a liar if he said  both women's words didn't go  straight to his cock, causing it to twitch against the zipper of the pants he wore.  "Come on, Jasper. Admit it. Don't lie to yourself. You've been wanting her for some time, yes? Wanting - no, craving for this for awhile. Now, is your chance. Today and every day, you can have us." Alice purred. She leaned upward, standing up on the tips of her toes as she had done earlier and her tongue comes within contact of Jasper's neck, setting soft but wet and seductive kisses over the smooth, cold surface.  Jasper grunts in reply, eyes fluttering shut as he gives a weak, timid nod. "Hm," He mumbles. "Today and everyday?" He asked, a smirk finding its way on his lips. "I can live with that, darlin'." "Heyyy." (Y/N) mewled, her bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "If she's darlin', what's going to be my pet name?" She asks, the pout only growing bigger yet both Alice and Jasper knew she wasn't truly upset by it. "Considering you just mewled like a kitten, that's what you will be. Now, kitten, why don't you and darlin' both come here and show me a good time, hm? After all, I have been wanting this for some time." Alice tssked, slapping Jasper's chest playfully as he - finally - admitted those words.  (Y/N) said nothing but watched the two with love and fond written across her face.  How did she get so lucky to be involved in this relationship?  She'd never know. Maybe, some things are better unanswered, (Y/N) thought.  She's quick to snap out of her thoughts and standing to her feet, her eyes never leave her now boyfriend and girlfriend's gazes.  (Y/N) strips down to nothing but a matching pair of panties and bra. She watches how Alice and Jasper lazily yet hungrily kiss one another.  Jasper's hands were on Alice's waist while Alice's hands were tangled in between his golden curls, tugging it every now and then as the session grew hotter and as the two grew more sexually frustrated with each other. 
(Y/N) didn't know what to do, truth be told, she didn't think this would have ever happened.  Luckily for her, Alice pulled away and shot her a lovingly glance before their own make out session could get any hotter (and before (Y/N) could get wetter, untouched). 
"C'mere, beautiful.  You're part of this, too, silly." She giggled as she taps Jasper's shoulder, telling him to get off of her with a movement of her finger.  Jasper chuckled lowly as he rolls over, undoing the belt of his jeans and zips them down as he shimmies out of both that and his shirt. "Who would you like to pleasure and please first, lovely?" Alice asked once (Y/N) sat down on the bed. Her face was still the same exact shade of red, it never seemed to vanish or go elsewhere. It seemed to be permanently there, only growing deeper and darker by the second. Both Alice and Jasper loved it. Loved having this kind of power and effect on her. It was a turn on to both vampires.  "Personally, I think you should  pleasure Jasper first." Alice turns to face Jasper who lay beside her  wearing his birthday suit, stroking his cock, eyes fluttered shut as complete bliss and satisfaction takes over. "For me, however, I am enjoying myself. I would very much rather see you two, touching." He said, opening his eyes as he glanced over at Alice and (Y/N).  "I'm happy with that." Alice giggled  as she's quick to lay upon the mountain of pillows behind her,  stripping her shirt over her head and allowing it to fall down the floor.  Oh, she's so filthy.... such an eager slut. She truly has been wanting this for some time. God only knows how long...  He says this - well, thinks it, anyhow - because the woman didn't wear a bra underneath her shirt and the moment she slides out of her skirt, Jasper notices she wasn't wearing panties either. "Touch me, please, (Y/N)." Alice moaned. She  lay back against the cushions as she spread her legs out in a starfish position, her hand resting at Jasper's thigh, fingers sneaking up and curling at his genitals, softly brushing her fingertips across his groin. Her pussy was slick with juices, (Y/N) and Jasper noticed. She was already so drenched, as was (Y/N).  Jasper's cock twitched, knowing both women were as hot and as bothered as he. "Go on, kitten. Don't be scared. I give you permission. We both do. From this moment on, you can touch us and hold us and whatever you please-" "Cause you're ours, as we are yours." Alice finished, shooting Jasper a smile before returning said smile to (Y/N). (Y/N) chewed on her bottom lip, fluttering her lashes and lids shut, she bends forward and presses her mouth on Alice's core, earning a quiet, low whine proceeding to fall from Alice's lips above. "Oh, (Y/N).... please." Alice whimpers, bucking her hips against (Y/N)'s touch. (Y/N) craved nothing more than to please both Alice and Jasper. As of this moment, however, her main focus was pleasuring Alice. All the girl wanted to do was get Alice  to cum, no matter which way it was. (Y/N) could use her fingers, her tongue or Hell, even both, she (nor Alice) didn't care as long as the short haired gal came with a cry of her name and soaked her fingers as she reached her orgasm. That is all (Y/N) wanted. She wanted to be good - be a good girl, for both significant others. Realizing both vampires were hers to love, to hold and to cherish, really just everything in between,  it sent a chill throughout her entire body and caused her cunt to tingle at the realization. The air in the room was bitter and both Alice and Jasper were cold, too. So, really, that could play a huge part together as well.  But (Y/N) knew her cunt was throbbing because of knowing they were hers, as she was theirs. Not because of their icy touches or the harsh, bitter air but because of them. They, all three of them, were together and happy. And just like when Alice found Jasper and him, finding her, (Y/N) really didn't know what happiness was until she met these two. "(Y/N), babygirl, please..." Alice's frustrated voice brings the girl back into reality, allowing her to leave her thoughts. She giggled, sending  little waves of vibrations to  shake against Alice's clit.  She pulled back, much to Alice's disappointment. "Sorry, I got lost in my head. 'M just happy is all. Can't believe this is happening." She admitted. But before Alice or Jasper could answer, (Y/N) is bending back forward, letting her head fall down and her lips capturing Alice's clit once more.   She gave Alice a few kitten licks, gentle, soft and sweet ones before slipping her tongue  in between Alice's folds, licking away as if this was her last thing she was to do on Earth. And really - if they were to die in their sleep or some random meteor hit, (Y/N)  would much  prefer dying while she's buried between Alice's legs and  her mouth would be full of Alice's pussy, her mouth full of her juices as Alice rode her high out on her face. It sounds like a perfect way to go, if she were being honest. Well, that was one option. The other idea and preference was with Alice riding her face, shifting her weight back and forth, grinding her pussy against (Y/N)'s tongue and lips while (Y/N) laid back against the bed, her legs spread in a "V" shape as Jasper slid his cock back and forth, deep inside her pussy, hitting her spot over and over again. All three of them, moaning in perfect harmony. Alice would cum over and over again, nearly drowning (Y/N)'s face  (which, (Y/N) wouldn't be upset at) with her juices as Jasper shot his load deep within her walls, filling her up with his cum. That was also a fantastic way to die. Alice, above, giggled and squirmed as (Y/N) ate her out. "Don't worry." She murmured, hand coming down to intertwine with (Y/N)'s hair as she pulled her girlfriend closer to her womanhood. "You'll have a piece of Jasper, right here, right now. Isn't that right, baby? You want to be a dear and go up behind (Y/N) as she's eating me out and fuck her tight, little, pink pussy? I can tell she needs it. Can feel her, leaving a puddle by my feet. Think - ah, fuck... (Y/N) - think she needs it. I wanna see it, too. Want to see you, fucking her as her face is full of my cunt." Jasper groaned as he fisted his cock, listening to his girlfriend speak while watching his other girl, eating his other lover out. He could have came right then and there. He was quick to get up and walk up behind (Y/N). (Y/N) was, in fact, soaked. Which was a given. It was obvious, even someone without vision could see that just by the high pitched, muffled noises she was making in the back of her throat. You could tell the poor thing needed a cock stuffed deep inside her hole, stretching her out and all. "Jasper, please, just... fuck me already!" She cried. "More than happy to." He replied. Being the fact she was so wet and aroused, the head of his cock pushed inside her, slipping in easily and comfortably. Even though, Jasper isn't (Y/N)'s first, the girl still needed to adjust to his size and the stretch that was his large and thick cock. Out of all the men she has been with (which wasn't a lot, neither. Only four or five.) Jasper was the widest and fullest. Jasper pauses, letting her adjust for a moment or two and it’s only when he hears a faint, "Go ahead, move... You can move," does Jasper push deeper, his cock sliding deeper within her walls, her juices already sticking to his cock as he slowly rocks his hips back and forth against the human. go ahead from you that he pushes deeper. You do open remarkably well for him, and although he takes his time, he’s awed by the fact that it isn’t unbearably long for either of you. You wonder if maybe it’s the fact that it’s him and you’ve done this before that makes it less stressful for you and lets you relax enough and so relatively quickly, too. While Jasper is behind, (Y/N) is stuffing her face full of Alice's pussy, and not a second later, the human girl buries her index and forefinger into her awaiting cunt. "Oh, fuck! Yes! Oh, yes. Oh." Alice chanted, her voice growing higher and higher as her hands curled at the comforter, nails digging into the fabric. "Oh, (Y/N), fuck me just like that! Fuck me, (Y/N)! Fuck me with your fingers, oh, yes. Oh, yesyesyesyes!!!" Alice squeals in delight, eyes closed as she gets closer to her orgasm. "Look at that," Jasper purred, his accent thick as he spoke. He only got like that when he, himself, was close to an orgasm. 
"My girls. My two beautiful girls. You both going to cum? You want to cum for each other and for me, don't you? Go on then. Be my good girls and cum. I'll cum with you." And just like that, both (Y/N) and Alice moaned loudly, Alice shouting her girlfriend and boyfriend's name in a pattern-like style as Jasper growled, fucking into (Y/N) so roughly the frame of the bed smacked against the wall so harshly, all three  knew it was going to leave a dent in the walls. But they couldn't care less. They were enjoying themselves way too much. (Y/N)'s moans were muffled, as she was being drowned by Alice's cum and like the good girl she, oh so badly, wanted to be - she happily swallowed every last drop that Alice squirted at her. (Y/N wanted to make her cum, sure, but didn't even think about the possibility she could make her squirt.)  
"Oh, fuck~ I'm cumming. Oh, fuck....!" And right as she was done, licking up every drop of Alice's pussy juices, her own pussy is being filled up by Jasper. This causes (Y/N) to moan again, an ear piercing scream more than a moan, actually. Which, truth be told, she was embarrassed by it - knowing other people were in the house but she tried not to think about it. All she could actually focus on was Alice and Jasper. That, and her coming down from her peak. Slowly, with a hiss leaving his lips, Jasper pulls out and plops down onto the bed, next to both of his lovely women. "That was fun." Alice said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Jasper's cheek.  "So, you aren't mad at me?" She asked, pulling back as she reached over to pull (Y/N) into her arms. 
"Not at all, darlin'. I love you. You know that. Nothing in the world could ever replace or erase my feelings towards you, Alice. It was... unexpected, sure, but I'm happy." Jasper looked over at Alice and (Y/N). "I'm happy with the both of you. And, (Y/N)? I love you, too. I promise, I didn't forget about ya." He said with a low laugh. He kisses Alice first before bending forward and kissing (Y/N) sweetly. "I only have one question left... how does she know about us? About what we are?" "It's kind of obvious." (Y/N) replied, looking up from playing with Alice's fingers and shot Jasper a sheepish smile. "Like Bella did beforehand, I put everything together and it made a lot of sense the more and more I looked at it. That and Emmett told me. Well, I take that back... he didn't exactly tell me but I knew something was odd when I saw you lot at the cafeteria and saw him, carrying a random plastic baggie of eggs. It isn't the most human thing in the world to eat like that. 
Especially with them, being spoiled and rotten, which they were, by the way. You all tried to be secretive and hide who you were but.. you didn't do it exactly well. And again, I did what Bella did. I straight up asked her too if you guys were what I thought you were.  And having known Bella since we were kids, I could tell when she was telling the truth and when she was lying." (Y/N) took a deep breath before continuing. "Plus, I knew things were, uh... supernatural, I guess is the right word here.... anyways, it was when Bella drastically changed. Not only in personality but in everything else. So, I just... kind of figured it out and placed everything together. And like I said, Emmett and Bella practically told me." "Edward truly married a girl who made an oath to keep us and what we are a secret yet easily announced what we are to an old and dear friend... No offense, (Y/N)." "None taken." "I still say I should've snapped her neck at her birthday party then." "Jasper!" "Wait, you tried to do what?" "Anyways, all that matters is we have each other and there isn't any secrets between us." He said, quick to change the subject. "I love you, gals." Speechless and flabbergasted, (Y/N) says she loved him too, Alice following along. Sure, they were vampires and they could easily kill her at any given moment but (Y/N) trusted them. Not only them but the Cullen's as well. (Although, Jasper and Alice, of course, were her favorites out of the bunch.) (Y/N) was now happily part of the Cullen's and was dating the two most wonderful people in the  world and she couldn't want it any other way. (Of course... she did want to be like them. But that's a conversation for another day.) (Little did (Y/N) know, however, Alice already had seen the both of them - her and Jasper - taking turns and turning her into one of them. For obvious reasons, she never brought this up, though. Alice was just happy to know in the end, they'd all be together, forever.)
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shoichee · 3 years
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part 4: hcs dedicated to reactions: seirin (their precious lil manager going out with that scissor-wielding emperor bastard!?) and rakuzan (their captain was in love with that girl who cussed at him near the vending machine?!? ITS SO FUNNY) ++ angst where akashi gets jealous of readers teammates (IZUKI kuroko kagami furi... but mostly izuki bc point guards with eye powers) because he still feels bad about what happened and thinks he doesnt deserve her -- teiko anon
OUR LEGENDARY TEIKO ANON HAS SPOKEN OF AN EPILOGUE, alright y’all the finale FINALE 🧘🏻‍♀️ OKAY, i don’t think I hammered too hard on the angst, but enjoy the fluff and subtle crack😌
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OOH, looks like another anon wants a pt. 4! :0 Since it is primarily the Teiko anon’s request, I will be prioritizing the first request, but I will combine a few aspects of this request to make a fuller headcanon epilogue! Hope everyone enjoys this! part 1 here // part 2 here // part 3 here
Akashi x Reader
Part 4: Epilogue
[Teiko!manager Headcanons]
in the aftermath of the Winter Cup, your relationship with Akashi has certainly gotten much better, and dare you say, more intimate and romantic; though you were still healing a bit from the emotional scars from Teiko, they seemed to be going away faster than you realized, especially when everyone gathers for Kuroko’s birthday party
you were with Seirin, helping with the decorations and setting up the plates before Kuroko comes in the evening, but what no one expected was for him to bring in the GoMs
YOU’RE SHOOK AND YOU’RE BASHFUL SEEING AKASHI IN HIS WINTER ATTIRE, you’re getting MAD butterflies, but no one seems to notice because everyone’s attention is on the GoMs and Kuroko
of course Akashi was scanning the room for you first, and you immediately look away from his affectionate stare because you were still not used to the old Akashi, let alone his sweeter side for only you
Izuki notices how quiet you got and nudged your ribs with his elbow before telling a stupid pun… the thing is, you were one of the few people who genuinely found his jokes funny LOL
Akashi widens his eyes, staring at you laughing so unabashedly, and he feels really, really bad that he never got that level of a reaction from you whenever you were with him even despite knowing you for longer
now as the party goes on, Akashi is seeing your dynamics with Seirin for the first time and he’s just really grateful that you found an amazing support group during your low times; he’s not particularly someone to get jealous, but he’s getting a BAD case of FOMO because he’s thinking of all the “what-if’s” and all the times he could’ve made you happy and stress-free
“Akashi-kun?”
“Ah… yes?” Akashi snaps out of his daze to see a mild smirk coming from Kuroko on his right side, and Kuroko was about to ask a question about who he was looking at before a shout of “Watch out!” and a ceramic plate came FLYING across the table to hit the Rakuzan captain square on his face
CUE SCREAMS OF PANIC AS MOMOI PUNCHES AOMINE ON THE HEAD AND RIKO JUMPS TO STRANGLE KAGAMI, AND YOU LITERALLY ZOOMED TO HIS SIDE TO CHECK ON ANY INJURIES
see, he could’ve easily dodged it, and he supposed that it’s his fault for not paying attention and dodging on time
thankfully, the plate didn’t break because Kuroko caught the plate before it reached the floor and placed it back on the table
Akashi still has a bruise or two on his face though… and ngl, everyone gulped when they saw him checking out the injuries with a handheld mirror, ready to get their ankles broken
you were so worried over his safety, he finds it really endearing… but he wants to elicit an expression other than looks of worry or tears or anger (flashback to when you cussed him out)
“Wait, but (y/n)...” Koganei said. “Since when were you so close to Akashi that you didn’t hesitate to touch his face?”
a few moments of silence for everyone to register his words
“EHHHH?????!!!!”
everyone is throwing QUESTION after QUESTION at the two of you, and Akashi just has a neutral face with his mouth parted while you were so embarrassed LMAO
Kise being a real best friend, tells them:
“Alright, alright, everyone! Let’s not forget about the birthday boy! Kurokocchi should be the center of our attention today!”
“Kise, that’s…”
“Anywho! Let’s light up the cake and find those party poppers…”
after the party though, when you all return to school, Seirin was READY to jump on you for interrogation, and you do reluctantly tell them that you and Akashi are a tentative couple
Riko: “SERIOUSLY? I mean… that’s kinda cute though…”
Hyuuga: “I mean… yeah, as long as you’re happy, it’s none of my business.”
Teppei: “I hope he treats you well, (y/n)-san.” and of course he gives you his signature head pats
Furihata, Tsuchida, Kawahara: “??????????????????? But why?”
Koganei: “Huh, guess that explains a lot.”
Kagami: “???????????? pt. 2 LMAO” and also “What do you even see in him?” in genuine curiosity
Izuki: “ I guess you two dove into this relationship without hesitation, eh? Get it, get it? Because doves are a symbol of lo—”
“Izuki, shut the fuck up.”
“It means that you love (Ai)kashi—” [Ai means love]
“IZUKI.”
Kuroko simply pretends that this is the first time he’s heard of you dating Akashi, and he gives you his heartfelt congratulations, and as long as Kuroko approves of it, you feel like you’re on the right track (he’s such a good judge of character!)
you and Akashi actually live VERY far apart, considering that your schools are equally just as far in distance, but that being said, for our rich boy Akashi, distance isn’t much of a problem when he can easily find ways to come visit any time
he can also pay for your transportation to visit Rakuzan if you ever felt like visiting him too (although, you insist to pay for your own things, but he’s not having it because he says it’s a treat for him to see you too)
whenever Akashi stops by the Seirin campus to visit, he’s just kind of awkward standing there like the prince that he is, waiting for the perfect opportunity to walk in, but every time, he’d ALWAYS notice how you’re so happy being with everyone here, especially with Izuki, and his guilt just comes back full force again
he wonders if this was right of him to date you when there’s so much people who can easily do a better job in getting you to smile and be completely yourself, especially since he’s been the source of your anguish for all these months (maybe even a year or two if he was counting the duration of your entire crush on him that you assumed to be unrequited)
“Seijurō!” your voice rang out, beckoning him to walk towards you and the group
all of the Seirin teammates are so wary of him, and are all hyper aware of his movements LOL, and Kuroko is just like “hi, you’re back” very casually
Kagami uses this as a chance to challenge a one-on-one on Akashi
Kagami gets destroyed in a few minutes flat
the whole time you’re just watching Akashi with heart eyes, unbeknownst to him while he was focused on Kagami
after the interrogation and Akashi passing the “first stage” of acceptance, you and him find time to have a cute date at a local shopping district to walk around and sightsee
Akashi finds it fun, he really did, but there’s a part of him that thinks you’d have more fun with people who know you better… a.k.a. Izuki, or legit any other Seirin member
he’s visibly distracted by his own thoughts, and you wave a hand to his face, asking if this was too boring for him
“No, no, of course I’m enjoying this with you,” he muses, putting a gentle kiss to your temple. “Shall we get moving?”
“Something’s bothering you isn’t it.”
“No,” he chuckles, giving a gentle smile, but you only frown at him… once again he sees that you weren’t smiling at him
“I’m serious Sei, I want to get to know the real you,” you softly chastise, pinching his cheek. “So I also want you to speak your mind around me.”
“Oh ho… I see that your boldness is still very present here,” he says in referring to your touch.
“Oh my god, can you drop it already? That’s so embarrassing—I cussed you out one time… hey don’t change the subject!”
“Hmm…” he hums for a bit before he comes clean. “I’m afraid that I might not be the right person to be worthy by your side after hurting you for so long.”
“... What makes you think that?” He hesitates, for the first time, not being so sure of himself and his emotions; he immediately thinks of Izuki and your good chemistry with him but dismisses the thought
“... I just do not think I’m capable enough to make you happy.”
“But you are. I’m very giddy to be with you right now.”
“Even happier than when you are with… your teammates?”
“Huh?”
“I apologize,” he hurriedly says. “They are your friends. I was out of line to question them.”
“No, no, it’s okay. Talk it out to me.” He’s uncharacteristically quiet as you both continue to walk and browse through the shops, and you carefully watch Akashi while he’s examining a few souvenirs on the display, patient for him to continue talking
“... the point guard.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Seirin’s point guard.”
“Izuki-kun? What about him?”
“While I’m aware that you only spend your time with him as a good friend… I want to spend just as much of a koala-ty time with you whenever we have the chance.”
he... says this with the straightest face, and you’re utterly confused before you saw some animal plushies on the store window, and the the koala plush, and then the cogs started turning in your head
“... Did you just say a pun?”
“Was it not sufficient?”
a few moments of silence pass and Akashi thinks he did something wrong because he wanted to make you smile (HELP poor captain), before you break into hysterics
between your fits of broken laughs and wheezes, you managed to ask if he was jealous of Izuki, to which he wholeheartedly kept denying until you wouldn’t stop being persistent
you reassure him over and over that he doesn’t need to act like Izuki to make you happy, but it was a pleasant surprise to see Akashi crack a “joke” nonetheless
he’s a bit new to the concept of dating and is still quite unsure of how to navigate this PLEASE GIVE HIM TIME
the date that day was a success (some of the Seirin teammates TOTALLY weren’t spying on you mid-date or anything…)
while Seirin is okay with you dating, visiting Rakuzan ALONE with the scary-ass captain and his “CROONIES” (hint: the rest of the team LMAOO) IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY
RIKO AND HYUUGA are just like:
“What’s wrong with him coming here to visit you? Why do you gotta do the effort to visit him?”
“Uh… because I want to…”
“Yes, but who would you call to help over if something wrong happens? You’d be too far!”
“Uh, Akashi can help me if something happens.”
“With what, his scissors?” Kagami gives a deadpan look, and everyone turns to look at him in utter confusion LMAOOO like what does this redhead mean by SCISSORS???
Kuroko immediately jabs Kagami’s sides to silence him and smoothly changes the conversation before anyone asks any more questions about the “scissors” and potentially make them more reluctant to let you go
oh Kuroko, being the mediator and negotiator as always, trying to set some safety protocols for you to follow before everyone finally agrees to let you go see the infamous team alone
you know, Teppei is honestly just like, “Just go! Don’t worry about our (y/n) too much!”
Furihata is so concerned for your safety for valid reasons, but you reassure him that you won’t “die from the trip,” and no, this wouldn’t “be the last time” they’d see you before you leave
so when you stopped by Rakuzan’s gym after school after looking at the online maps, Hayama lets out a screech of terror before he starts pointing at you and calling you the “crazy ass chick” who tried to have a first-row seat ticket to death LOL
Hayama’s commotion brought everyone else’s attention to you, and Akashi was very surprised to see you all the way here
but he’s just standing at the back to watch how his teammates are reacting to you
Reo is the guy who would welcome you very warmly and would introduce you to the other team members who aren’t the starters, and he would actually ask if you were okay from last time
Nebuya is very laid back and throws a few muscle jokes much to Reo’s dismay, and he makes a comment about not you possibly not eating enough because at the time, he saw you almost tripping up your feet after you cussed out Akashi… he offers you his extra bowls if you ever feel hungry VERY SWEET GUY
Mayuzumi thinks you have balls, like who the fuck would come out alive after cussing out his captain but then COME BACK to said school of the captain… like why would you willingly walk back into the lion’s den??? so he thinks you’re dumb, but he has a shred of respect for you
Akashi is so amused at the spectacle and finally walks over to you after you noticed him
and he gives you an embrace and a chaste forehead kiss, and the entire gym goes silent
“Sei! I wanted to drop by as a surprise! Did you expect me?”
“Hm, I may have expected you to come sooner or later, but definitely not this quickly. Were transportation fees too much of a hassle?”
“Nope! I got everything covered! Do you want me to give you any chiropractic massages if you and your teammates need it?”
“You don’t need to do that, (y/n). You came here as a guest, not as a manager.”
“But…”
“Shhh, as soon as practice is done, I’ll take you anywhere you want in Kyotō. How does that sound?”
“Er… captain?” Reo holds up a hesitant finger to interrupt the two of you, while everyone else looks horrified at the sight of their captain looking serene
“Get a room, will you?” Mayuzumi only tuts in irritation while turning away to grab a nearby water bottle to down in one go
Nebuya merely stares in astonishment at the two of you, and his mind is thinking how the hell did you reel in this guy?
nah man, Hayama is GONE at this point: his brain has stopped functioning a while ago, and he’s standing there as stiff as a statue, scratching his head like a lost monkey // like he’s thinking how the fuck did this shit add up?? in his mind, he’s taking 2 plus 2 but it somehow ends up 94… that’s how he’s processing what he’s witnessing
the rest of the benchers and lower-string players are confused? who ARE you anyways?? Akashi?? dating??? that’s Rakuzan gossip of the century
TLDR; your first trip to Rakuzan may be awkward because the two of you stick out like a sore thumb, but eventually after multiple trips, the team slowly begins to consider you as one of their own
as per Akashi’s “suggestion” (hint: not a suggestion, but a strong recommendation), you were to be retreated with respect and kindness
why? Because Akashi never wants a repeat of the situation at Teiko ever again :(
as long as he is captain, and as long as he has the power and authority, he will do everything he can to make you happy and comfortable
don’t worry though, the Rakuzan starters are more than willing to punt any kid who talks shit about you
surprisingly, once Hayama comes around and accepts the fact that you were dating the captain, he’d be the most adamant and vocal protector, and he’s the one who shares the “inside tips and tricks” about the captain EEEE it’s so wholesome !!
the Rakuzan team is your certified bodyguard group, no debate
Reo might be the nosy mom who asks about who confessed first and the like…
the END, and I DO MEAN THE END THIS TIME
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bruhlsbees · 3 years
Text
sweet disposition: 1/? || femaleprofessor!reader x modern!alex kerner
hi bestie hehe i’d like to request a little series for you, sub! a little jealous modern alex keener (of age) x professor! f reader (late 20’s) - shes an english romantic lit professor & her “love interest” is a film professor who is one of alex’s shared teacher. alex has a little crush on her, and knows the film teacher is after her. super fluffy, smut maybe??? u decide baby, im just so excited eeeeek!!!
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summary: alex kerner is a senior film student and develops a crush for his friend, denis, english professor
pairing: modern!alex kerner and professor!reader
warnings: age gap (alex is 22 and reader is 32), wet dream, sweet sweet pathetic boy, nsfw, 18+, minors dni
word count: 4,387
a/n: thank you for the request @gotmadison ily sweet gal!! this will be a short fic series i write and will post probably throughout the coming weekend! :) please enjoy and if you have any requests or asks please send them in!!!
For Alex Kerner, a senior film student, nothing bored him more than the first day of a new unit. He knew what to expect - twenty plus slides about some dead, or borderline dead, director while connecting their life to the style of films they did and how it related to whatever political controversy was going down at the time. Alex knew that there was a reason for going into so much history to better understand the meaning of the films, but jesus did it have to drag for so long?
The auditorium that Alex’s class was held in was larger, although the class was rather small. There were maybe, at most, thirty students in his class, including him, which felt empty as the auditorium they were in was meant to hold almost double that. Alex didn’t mind though, of all the rows, he was the only one in the back, taking the middle seat - of course, the best view to see a film. He recognized a lot of the faces in his class, as it was a senior level class, but he didn’t bother to converse with many.
It wasn’t that he was shy, not overly at least, he just didn’t care to make friends. It was an afternoon class, he was just getting out of work to rush to his class, and far too exhausted to try and fake being friendly…hence him sitting in the back, all alone. 
The ‘Authorship in Cinema’ course he was currently in was held twice a week - both two hours long. The first class of the week was held for lectures and the second class was held for the film screening. The university was just getting back from winter break, continuing into the last half of the semester. In Alex’s class they had finished their unit on Roman Polanski before the break and they came into the next covering Krzysztof Kieślowski. Alex was thrilled to say the least about not having to listen to his film professor rave on Polanski. Even after discussing Polanski’s case, his professor still seemed to idolize the man.
Alex was not fond of his film professor. He was a younger professor, maybe in his late thirties, early forties, and he seemed to praise the worst directors he could find. His name was Jaxon Thorne and was the staple image of a douche. He always wore faded jeans that were tight in the crotch, scuffed up sneakers that he always tried to pass as being cool, and a sweater with a scarf - even though they were inside. He truly didn’t get how girls liked the man. Alex wouldn’t lie though, some of his opinions were interesting, but the guy loved to hear himself talk, that much was obvious. 
They weren’t even at the tenth slide yet when Alex felt himself beginning to doze off. Work had been busy today, fixing satellites and dealing with prissy wives and their drunk husbands. He was almost late getting to class with all the traffic that was on the highway. The last thing he wanted to do was attend class. It took everything in him not to put his head down and go to sleep right there. He had done it before, and that was a mistake he would never make again. Waking up to everyone staring and snickering while the teacher was hovering over you meant for a lasting effect.
But Alex just couldn’t take it, he was so bored with Kieślowski’s early work. The documentaries of everyday lives for city dwellers, workers, and soldiers could not keep his attention even if he wasn’t tired. He sunk down into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest, before craning his head to the side on his shoulder. His blinking became slow, desperately trying to stay awake and pay attention, but his eyes grew heavy, and before he knew it, his mouth was gaped open, drool slipping out of the corner of his lips.
He didn’t know how long he had dozed off for, but when he woke up he heard the projector screen zip up and the lights click on. Jumping slightly, Alex sat back up, feeling the stickiness of his drool on his face. With a groan, he wiped his face with the sleeve of his jean jacket before beginning to pack his things up into his bag.
“On Wednesday we will dive into his documentary, Workers, and discuss the censorship aspect of it. Come prepared to watch the screening and discuss afterwards. If anyone has any questions or comments, I’ll be staying after for a few minutes.” 
Rolling his eyes, Alex pushed himself out of his chair, swinging his bag over his shoulder before rushing out the back door at the top of the auditorium. He couldn’t have gotten out of there fast enough to avoid his teacher from going off on an ‘intellectual conversation’ on their new unit. Barf.
Alex was happy though to finally be out of class and to enjoy his hour and a half break before his next class. He knew he should have been finalizing what project he wanted to submit for critique in his senior portfolio, but he needed something to wake him up. 
As he turned the hallway, going to leave the building, he stopped by the vending machine and pulled out a crinkled bill from his pocket, pushing it into the machine before pressing the buttons to get a bottle of Coke. To his luck, however, the machine stalled, the bottle retriever getting stuck in front of the row and producing an obnoxious ‘whirring’ noise. 
“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me!” Gripping the side of the vending machine, Alex shook the machine roughly, rocking the broken vending machine back and forth until setting it back, sending a punch to the front of it.
“Woah, woah! Jesus man what did that vending machine do to you?”
Turning his head, Alex’s glare softened at the sight of his friend, Denis, approaching him. Denis, with his books still in his hands, tucked them under his arm as he stood in front of the machine, watching as the machine stalled with Alex’s bottle of Coke.
“The stupid thing got stuck! Is it too much to ask for a bottle of co-”
Before he could finish his sentence, the machine began to work again, grabbing the bottle and dispensing it below. Staring blankly at the bottom, his lips pulled into a tight line, Alex could only feel the embarrassment settling in - and it didn’t help to hear Denis laugh at how ridiculous he reacted.
“Oh my god, dude, you seriously need to take it easy. Did work kill you that bad?” Denis asked, watching as Alex bent down to pull out the bottle, standing back up as he began unscrewing the cap, guzzling the pop down. 
Nodding his head, Alex screwed the cap back on before tucking the bottle in his bag, hiccuping at the carbonation before sighing, “Yeah, and it doesn’t help that I gotta go to Professor Dick’s class right after.” 
Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Denis nodded, listening to Alex as he vented, “Yeah, Thorne’s a real piece of work. But hey! Only gotta deal with him for another semester after this. Who knows, maybe he will knock a student up and ditch down?”
The fantasy would have been nice to come true, but Alex knew that it would stay just that - a fantasy. Thorne was a questionable guy, with interesting ideas and made borderline inappropriate comments towards the female students in all his classes…but that was just it, he could charm anyone he wanted, and that’s how he stayed around.
“Yeah, maybe when dogs walk on two legs…” Alex mumbled, pressing his knuckles to his eyes and rubbing the sleep out of them, a yawn escaping his lips. 
As he dropped his hands down to his side, he felt Denis nudge him in the arm, groaning at the contact as he was too tired to have any contact, “You got class at seven right?”
Nodding, Alex blinked, a tired smile on his face as he smacked his lips, “Yeah…seven to nine, best time of day to have a senior portfolio workshop.” 
Denis laughed at the sarcastic comment, mentioning that it could’ve been worse and be at seven in the morning than at night. Alex, however, couldn’t see how anything could be worse than an evening class after a long day of work.
“Listen, I got my ‘Romanticism in Literature’ class in a few…why don’t you come with me? My teacher’s pretty cool and I’m sure she won’t mind if you sit in. I’m in the back anyways so she probably won’t even realize. She’s got pretty bad vision I’ve realized. I think she said that her glasses don’t got the right prescription or somethin. She’s always runnin late and claims she never has time to put her contacts in.” 
The detailed explanation of the professor’s vision made Alex laugh, shaking his head as Denis looked at him confused, cheeks red, “What? It’s what she’s told us! She’s always coming in late. I wouldn’t be surprised if she came in late this time around. She’s got office hours before class, so she probably gets held up with a student.”
“Sounds like you’re in love with her, is that right, Denny Boy? Someone’s gotta crush on the teacher? Ain’t that every high school kid’s fantasy? Get the hots for the teacher?” 
Scoffing, Denis rolled his eyes at Alex’s teasing and shoved him in the arm, “No man, come on now, it ain’t like that. Look if you don’t wanna come I don’t care, but I gotta go before I’m late.”
Holding his hands up in defense, Alex trailed behind Denis, going back in the direction he originally came from, “Hey, hey, I was only kidding, don’t gotta get defensive. I’ll take along, hopefully I won’t fall asleep in this class. Why you even taking this class anyways?”
Following Denis into the class, the auditorium setup similar to the one he just came out of, except smaller, Alex sat beside Denis in the back row, watching as the class filled up, only a few seats not filled. 
“I guess I gotta earn some more credits outside my degree, this was the only one that wasn’t completely filled up yet and it worked with my schedule. It ain’t too bad, she gives us a lot of free time to work.” 
Watching as Denis set his bag down beside him, opening his textbook to where they left off the other day, Alex watched Denis prep for the class, the teacher not in sight. Alex figured that the teacher must have been running late, like Denis said she always did, but he couldn’t help but wonder how long it’d be before she even showed up.
Fifteen minutes after class was supposed to begin the front door ripped open, slamming shut seconds after while heels frantically clicked towards the desk in the front of class.
“Sorry I’m late! I got caught up with another professor. I hope you all enjoyed your winter breaks and are happy to be back. I know I’m thrilled to be back!” 
The sweet voice caught Alex’s attention, his eyes pulling from his cell phone and to the front of the class where the professor had just walked in. He felt his mouth fall open slightly, catching it before Denis noticed his reaction.
He was expecting an old lady for Denis’ class, someone who was on the edge of death and smelled of cats. What he found, however, was someone the complete opposite. Younger, curvier, and the scent that filled the room when she entered was warm - like she just finished drinking a cup of coffee.
Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun, bangs hanging low over her eyes, covering the tops of her crooked frames. She couldn’t have been all that older than him, maybe mid-thirties at max. He didn’t notice what she was wearing below, but the shirt she wore clung to her so well, the outline of her fuller chest displayed with her necklace dipping into her cleavage. 
‘Good God, Alex, get a hold of yourself.’
Alex watched the professor, noticing her speaking although his lusted thoughts deafened his ears. He assumed she was asking how the break went and if anyone did anything fun because a few people raised their hands, a kind smile on her face as she listened to her students.
“That’s great to hear, Polly! You’ll have to show me the photos you took sometime. I have never been to that side of the country before,” Her head shifted towards the other side of the room, looking up at the higher rows. “Did anyone else have anything to share about their break?”
Denis’ professor sat patiently and listened to everyone who wanted to share, giving everyone the opportunity to discuss their breaks before she opened up her laptop to get started with class. Alex watched as she picked up the remote and pointed it to the projector box, the screen coming down beside her with her computer screen displayed.
Her home screen featured what he assumed to be her and some friends. He recognized a few of the people in the photo as they were also professors at the university - what made Alex turn his nose, however, was right beside her - in all his douchebag glory, Jaxon Thorne. Before he could make a cohesive thought, the photo went away and a slideshow on Mary Shelley appeared…and maybe for the better.
“Okay everyone! As mentioned in the email, we are gonna be diving into Mary Shelley’s novel Frankenstein for this part of the semester,” She began, her warm smile still ignited, chuckling lightly as some of the students up front became uneasy in their seats, excited for the novel, “I’m glad to hear we have some fans. Now, I promised that I wouldn’t give you any reading over break, but because of that we will be reading quite a bit over the next few weeks.”
The slide shifted to the reading guide and what chapters were due when. Alex watched as some students scribbled the due dates down while others pulled out their cell phones, snapping a photo before stuffing their phones away. 
“For Wednesday I would like you all to have read the preface and letters one through four. Come prepared to discuss your analyses of the text and any questions you may have. Of course, I’ll have my office hours open tomorrow and Wednesday before class, but if there are any questions, you can send me an email and I’ll try to get back with you in a timely manner.” 
The rest of class seemed to lull by, Alex’s gaze fixed on the professor that continued to go over what the last half of the semester would look like, answering the occasional question, before finally it was time to pack up and go. Frowning, Alex shifted in his seat, looking at Denis who was packing things up in his bag. 
“It’s over?” Alex asked, eyebrows furrowed, a pathetic frown on his face.
Looking up from his bag, Denis smiled, nodding, “Yeah man, it is. Why? You fall in love with Mary Shelley?” Standing up, Denis pushed his seat under the table and shrugged his shoulders, “I mean, if it works for your schedule and you’re interested, maybe go up and ask if you can enroll. I don’t know if you’ll be able to with it being so late in the semester, but it’s worth a shot,” Glancing down at his watch, Denis sighed, “Look, I gotta run, but let me know how it goes, okay?” Patting Alex’s back, Denis rushed up the stairs and out the back door, fleeing the auditorium to get to his next class on time.
Meanwhile, Alex kept seated, watching as the professor talked with some students who approached her desk after class, laughing and admiring the editions of Frankenstein that students presented. Was this how professors could be with their students? Actually caring and involved? It seemed like Alex had poor luck with his own professors - either they were old as a bat and didn’t know how to work the computer, or they were a presumptuous dick.
When the students began to flock out, already discussing how they were looking forward to Wednesday’s class, Alex finally stood up, pulling his bag over his shoulder and making his way down the auditorium steps. She hadn’t noticed him as he walked, writing something down in her planner. As he stood now in front of her, he cleared his throat awkwardly, gaining her attention as she looked up, squinting before taking her glasses off.
“Hello,” he began shyly, adjusting the strap of his bag, “I’m Alex. My friend, Denis, he’s in your class.” 
At the mention of Denis, she smiled and nodded, “Yes! Denis, nice boy he is,” She adjusted her position in her seat, leaning back slightly, “I-I’m sorry, are you in my class? I don’t believe I’ve ever see-”
“No! I mean, no, no I’m not in your class. I have a free hour before my next class and Denis invited me to sit in for this one,” He rushed, cheeks red as he realized how abruptly he had interrupted her, “I’m sorry, um, yeah I just came down because I really enjoyed your lecture today. I was curious if there was any way I could maybe enroll? I know it’s late in the semester, but I did enjoy today.” 
The cheeky smile faded into a sadder, smaller smile. She chewed on her bottom lip before leaning forward again, crossing her arms over chest, accentuating her cleavage that Alex desperately tried not to stare at.
“Oh, I’m sorry Alex, but I don’t think I can convince the department to let you in this late in the semester. I love your enthusiasm with the course and would love to have you in my class, but I don’t think I can make that happen.” Her smile dropped to a frown when she saw the visible disappointment in Alex’s face before bending over to open her bag, pulling out a copy of Frankenstein, handing it to Alex.
Looking down at the copy, Alex opened the cover, reading what he assumed to be her name in the cover, before flipping through the pages, a weak smile on his face, trying his best to not look so pathetic in front of her.
“How about this? I probably shouldn’t, but if you want to sit in on the days you’re free, you’re more than welcome to. I’ll forward you the reading guide so you can keep up with us, but you won’t earn any credit in this class. Is that okay?” 
His frown turned into a grin, looking up from the book, Alex nodded, his cheeks pink as his toothy crooked grin spread across his face, “Yeah, yes. Thank you,” Tugging down the front of his striped blue shirt, he cleared his throat awkwardly, looking down at the book before back up at her, “Um, so when are your office hours? Just in case I have any questions?”
Letting out a faint ‘ah’, she opened her notebook and scribbled some notes down, tearing off the paper and handing it to Alex, “You’re more than welcome to shoot me an email though if you need help outside of my office hours. Or you can call my office number, sometimes I answer it.” She admitted, her own cheeks going pink at the confession.
Smiling, Alex looked down at the paper and made a mental note to remember all that she had given him.
My email,
My office number,
Office hours are M&W: 3-5:15 and T&R: 1-2
Class takes place on M&W from 5:30-6:30
:)
The smile she left on the page made Alex’s stomach flutter. His thumb ran along the smiley face before he looked up, thanking her quietly for the note. She was sweet, almost too sweet for Alex to absorb, like he was in a sugar coma and begging for more. 
“Of course, it was nice to meet you Alex. I’m looking forward to seeing you in class. I don’t mean to run off, but I’m to meet another professor here in a couple minutes and don’t need to be lectured on being late.”
When she stood up, Alex’s face went hot. The flowy flower blouse that showed more cleavage than he had seen on a professor before was tucked into a tight jean skirt, clinging to her hips in all the right places, a thick black belt holding it all together. If it weren’t for the fact that he was right in front of her, he probably would have started drooling. 
Packing up her desk, she stuffed her things in her bag, throwing her sweater over her shoulder before throwing her bag around her, moving around the desk to stand beside it now, looking up at Alex. He noted how she was shorter, the heels helping her with height, and how good her legs looked in them. Clearing his throat, he shifted his bag around him to sit in front of his pants, attempting to hide any possible pop-up in his jeans.
“If you’re free tomorrow, stop by my office hours. I’ll even buy you a coffee if it’s too early for you. I know you college boys stay up far too late. I can only imagine what your mothers think.” She teased, shaking her head and she turned and began to head out of the room, hearing Alex keep tight on her trail. 
Turning off the lights and letting him leave first, she shut the door behind her and stood beside Alex, motioning towards the English department office, “I’ll see you tomorrow, or Wednesday, my office is the last one on the right. I’ll be sure to leave my door open!” 
Nodding, Alex smiled and waved goodbye as she waved back, rushing down the hall and weaving through the students to get into the office. Letting out a sigh, Alex leaned against the doorway, processing his first encounter with the professor, the boyish lust grin stuck on his face.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Panting hard, Alex gripped her hips tight, his fingers digging into her plush figure, grunting as he snapped his hips into her from behind, her pillowed ass meeting him with each thrust. The sweat that built up on him was beginning to fall down face, trailing down his neck and chest. 
Tangling his right hand into her hair, his left still placed on her hips, Alex pulled her locks gently, smiling at the sound of her wanton moan, her eyes rolling back into her head. 
“A-Alex! Oh god, Alex, I don’t think I’m going to last. F-Fuck!” 
Feeling his own climax build, Alex let out a shaky breath as he bent down craning his neck to kiss her lips as he continued to rut inside of her, his thrusts becoming sloppy and quicker.
The sensation became too much too quickly, his legs shaking as he kneeled behind her befo-
Jolting awake, the obnoxious phone alarm woke Alex from his dream, resulting in a now completely frustrated mood. While still on his back, Alex reached behind him on the shelf that rested behind his bed frame, pulling his phone up and looking at the screen, squinting to gain his vision from waking up, the bright screen burning his eyes.
When he unlocked his phone and opened it, prompting him to his email, his frown lit up and turned into a smile, seeing her name in his inbox.
Good evening, Alex!
I’m sorry this is so late, I’m finally getting back to my apartment and wanted to send this your way before I forgot. Here is the reading guide for the rest of the semester and that information I shared with you earlier in case you lost it.
I look forward to seeing you in my office tomorrow or Wednesday. I hope you have a good night! :)
Best!
Alex’s mood quickly shifted after reading the email. While he was disappointed that the wet dream he was having with her ended so soon, he was more than pleased to see that he had an email from her. Clicking his phone off, Alex tossed his phone onto his bed, sitting up with his hand behind him to keep him up.
His room illuminated a red/orange hue from the lava lamp that sat on his dresser in the corner of his room. Turning his attention towards the window, he looked behind the blinds to see the city life outside his apartment lit up, the sound of music coming from the club down the road and laughs from those partying. 
Letting out a yawn, Alex shook his head and rubbed his face, shifting his legs before stopping quickly, feeling the mess in his boxers. Looking down, Alex groaned seeing the stain in his boxers, pressing his hand to feel the wet spot before sighing, standing up. He pulled his boxers carefully off, tossing them into his laundry basket before making his way into the bathroom to clean up. 
When he entered the small bathroom that was connected to his room, he hissed at the bright light as it came on, looking at himself in the mirror. His hair was tangled up, sticking out on the sides and his eyes were squinted, too tired to open them fully. Shaking his head, Alex climbed into the shower and started the water, the cold water hitting him both waking him up and cooling himself down.
He was absolutely and pathetically smitten over her. There was no doubt about it. Since leaving her class, the only thoughts that occupied his mind were of her. He had already planned out what he would wear tomorrow when he went to her office hours. It was pathetic, truly, with how quickly he was letting the woman ruin him. It was ridiculous to say, no doubt, because what would happen between them? Nothing. Not a single thing would come between the two other than a conversation about Frankenstein, maybe a personal question here and there.
Or so he thought.
134 notes · View notes
dxmmymxmmywrites · 3 years
Text
Old Flames
Tsunade Senju x F! reader smut
Tumblr media
Warnings: cursing, angst at the beginning, oral sex, scissoring
Very excited to be writing for my bi-awakening queen Tsunade 🥰🥰🥰 love her so much, she needs more content AND appreciation
This is also less smutty than I usually do, so I may come back to this later when life allows to add more to the spicy bits
The sky is dark with the coming storm when you make your walk to the Hokage’s office. It’s the perfect environment to match your inner turmoil, broiling over with too many uncertainties for your liking.
You kept away as long as you could. And honestly, it probably wasn’t the best decision. Now you were just angry with yourself for not coming sooner and so sexually frustrated you could palpably feel your need aching between your legs.
You had done whatever you could in your early days as a Kunoichi. You had always been a little power hungry, but with a desire to actuate positive change in the leaf village. It had led you through to an established reputation as a feared ninja across the Shinobi nations, and along the way you had manage to leave some good behind you.
For some, it had to be hard to imagine you as a naive young woman in your youth. You were hardened by the world quickly, but it didn’t stop you from holding your favorite people very close to your heart.
The new Hokage happened to be one of them. Tsunade Senju.
The two of you had grown up with the same peers, and had observed each other from afar when you were placed in your Genin teams. When you did interact more often, you became quick friends and confidants— two hotheaded and insanely smart girls that were ready to encourage the other to take on the world.
It was a brighter time, before tragedy had shaped you both. Tsunade losing both her brother and promised lover nearly destroyed her, and you did what you could to comfort her when you could.
It became a new way to bond with her teammates, as you all took the time to check in on her, but it would shape your view of Tsunade most.
Despite everything, she still held so many qualities you admired despite losing her faith for some time. She was a damn hard worker, brilliant as ever, and had a kind soul once you got past her shell. It made you weak every time you thought about how you realized your feelings for the first time.
It was a classic case of someone falling head over heels for their best friend. With this of course came the companion cliche of not wanting to ruin your friendship by confessing your love in any way. So you kept your thoughts to yourself as long as you could.
And it was painful. But eventually, they came to a head at the worst possible time— when Tsunade was preparing to leave the village.
Although... the outcome initially was not as bad as it could have been.
You convinced her to delay her exodus for a week. That entire time, the two of you were nearly inseparable. And you fucked like raving animals.
It was a life changing event for you— enough to cement the fact that you, indeed, loved women. But most of all, you loved her.
At some point after an exhausting collection of rounds in bed, you had known your time with her was coming to an end. You couldn’t stop the years even if you tried, because in that moment life sucked and it wasn’t fucking fair that you couldn’t keep anything good in your life.
You had been so tired then, but you have vague memories of her holding you close, and her velvety lips kissing your tears away. It made her absence the next day all the more painful.
She had left at some point in the night when you fell asleep, thought she could never tell you how long she waited in the window before leaving you. You had woken up a love in her unlike any other— and it terrified her. She had lost enough people already in her life, so she followed what her heart told her was the best course of action; leave, before you’re broken again.
It hardened both of you emotionally. Everything was a threat, nothing worth letting down your walls for. While she abandoned her ninja way for years, you clung to yours with everything you had. It might have paid off, but what worth did it have when at home you sat by yourself, when your select companions were away?
You thought of her every night all the same. Sure, you could enjoy others from afar as you once did, but no one was her. No one could ever fill the void she did.
And little did you know, when you least expected it, she would come parading into your life again.
You hadn’t thought Jiraya would be successful in retrieving her, as cynical as it may sound. But then there she was, accepting her role as Hokage before the village in all her fame and glory like she was born to do it. And you had never been so proud, and had never wanted her so badly than how you did in that moment.
Even with the time apart, your reunion was not as horrendously awkward as it could have been. You greeted each other as old friends, and within the week you became one of the honored members of her council. No one bat an eye at this, because you had earned the right to the seat three times over. But Jiraya did grin when Tsunade announced your appointment.
And life went on. It wen on. And on. And on.
And it drove you insane.
Your friendship rekindled in a way you had not expected at all. And she never even mentioned anything regarding your week together before her disappearance.
It pissed you off how unbothered she appeared by it. You bickered like an old married couple and defended each other like the war heroes you were, but goddamn it did you want more validation than a fancy new job where you got to eyeball the woman you had been in love with for most of your life.
So onwards you went to the Hokage’s office. You would settle this, and you would settle it that night if it was the last thing you did.
If anyone notice your darker mood, they steered far out of your path as you travelled. It wasn’t as late as it could have been, so Tsunade would mostly likely still be at work in her office. Later in the day was usually when Shizune could successfully corner her to do paperwork anyway.
Inside the building, you begin to hear the echo of rain from outside.
You take the precaution of knocking on her door with the formal greeting, and she allows you in.
She smirks at you and prepare a remark— but you don’t let her start.
“We need to talk.”
Her expression becomes stern instantly. “What’s wrong? Any threatening reports?”
You cock your head at her, then shake your hands “No, no, this isn’t about work. This is personal.”
She couldn’t have looked more confused if she tried. However, she did remain silent, so you continued with your thoughts. And you locked eyes with her.
“Are we ever going to talk about what happened when you left? At all? Or did it mean nothing to you?”
Her eyes widened, but knowingness came to them. “I didn’t think you would—“
“Whatever you think I just need to hear the truth.”
“I think that—“
“And don’t bullshit me on feelings—“
“Damn it Y/N, shut up!” Tsunade rose from her desk, leaning over it. Her irritated look is intimidating, but you know better.
A quiet moment follows, but your voice betrays you. “I just need to know,” you admit, sounding more defeated than anyone— especially Tsunade— had probably ever heard you sound.
There’s a part of Tsunade that’s fuming at being interrupted so many times, undoubtedly. But some aspect of her fury is doused when she sees how dejected you look on the other side of her desk. She didn’t think she had ever seen you look so small, and like you wanted to curl into yourself.
She never wanted you to make yourself lesser around her. The thought of you being in pain when she fled...
Emotions were swirling within her like a maelstrom.
“Come here,” she commands. She doesn’t raise her voice. She doesn’t need to.
Anyone else would have gotten a snide remark addressing you like that. But you walk until you’re directly in front of the desk, and she pushes her chair out of the way to stand before you.
When she stands fractions of an inch away from you, your heart rate quickens. The intensity of her expression is almost scalding. But it is not angry.
You open your mouth to speak again, but she breached the gap between you. Both of her hands grasp your face in such a mash of assertiveness and tenderness— but what knocks the breath from your lungs is the powerful kiss.
You wish you could say you responded immediately, but you were so shocked all you could do was tremble. Eventually, you felt her hands slink down to tenderly hold your neck as her tongue slipped past your lips.
Part of you wanted to fight her off. To get the last word in, or have the last snappy response. But you couldn’t fight how badly you wanted her to tighten the grip over your windpipe.
“I have never forgotten you,” she pants when gasping for air. “Not even once.”
She dives in for another kiss, and this time you have no regrets about giving in to it. Her hold around your neck tightens, and she’s upon you in an instant. Years upon years of tension and unsaid affection finally come crashing together in an emotional storm akin to the one outside Tsunade’s doors.
Just as she presses her chest to yours, her tongue slips into your mouth and you can’t help but to groan. However, you’re not one to give in so easily— and neither is she. Your sharp nails run over clothed back enough to give her goosebumps, and she reciprocates by sliding her hands into your hair to firmly tighten her grip. In the moment, it’s almost like neither of you need to breathe— your tongues dance in unison and all you can feel is the building heat in your gut as you melt into the other’s touch.
When you finally do part for air, she grins, devilishly.
“I see you still have a dirty mouth.”
You can’t help but turn red. “Shut up and get on the desk.”
That does catch her attention— it had been a while since anyone had the balls to mouth off to the Hokage. It was sexy as hell... and it made her recount all the reasons she fell for you in the first place.
She does step back to sit on the desk, and you follow after her just as she perches like a cat, eyeing you with ample amusement. Just as you set your hands beside her waist and lean in, she pulls at the wrap of her tunic and opens her strong legs.
“Are you going to stand there Y/N?” She purrs. “Or are you going to actually do something?”
It makes your blood boil, but you can’t help the excitement that comes from wrapping your arms around her again. She melts into your kiss the same way you did with hers, but your head starts to swim when you feel her legs wrap around your middle. Who in their right mind wouldn’t let their hands wander to glide up her thighs, listening to her moan, to firmly squeeze her love handles before returning the love to her ass?
You certainly were not going to waste the opportunity. And an opportunity you make it.
And despite being the one above her as you gently push her down against the desk, you melt into her kiss all the same. You throw one knee onto the desk to steady yourself enough to lovingly stroke her sides as you begin to nip marks into her neck.
It makes the grips her legs have on you all the more constricting. She rolls her hips upwards deliciously into yours, leaning to expose as much of her collarbone to you as possible. Any control at that point is abandoned— you nearly purr as you kiss and suck as much exposed skin as possible.
Who would have thought you would have the chance to hear her lovely voice again, much less her tantalizing moans.
“I think I may be one of the only people alive that can say I’ve knocked one of the Sanin on their backs,” you muster with confidence, and give her a sly grin.
There’s a slight glare from her, but she snorts all the same and chuckles. Tsunade raises forward and takes your lips with hers once more, pushing you to climb all the way on top or the desk.
Neither of you can fight the passion between you any longer. Your gasps and moans become louder, and the two of you begin to strip between feverish kisses and gropes. And not a single ounce of self control remains between you when Tsunade peels your underwear down your legs.
It’s like a volt of electricity goes through your body when she unabashedly spreads your legs and licks a stripe up your wet cunt. Her searing gaze locks with yours as she moves her mouth, and your eyes roll backwards when she plunges her tongue directly into your core.
It makes you squeal but she holds your thighs in place as you shake— and there was no way in hell you were getting out of her grasp. You wouldn’t want it any other way.
Her tongue swivels inside you and laps at your insides, stoking every ounce of pleasure out of you that you could think to feel. She remains as unashamed as ever, relishing in the wet noises of your arousal as she begins to thumb your clit and slurp your building orgasm.
You chant her name over and over as she tastes you— ravished you— but in an instant you tap her three times with your pointer finger. Your old signal to stop during sex makes her pause, not just to respect your boundaries. It feels odd to remember an old habit again.
She looks to you for an answer, and you order a smile. “I don’t want this to end yet.”
She grins, but before Tsunade can counter your remark you offer her a hand to pull her up to you. Quickly, you wrap your legs around her middle and shift your weight, putting her beneath you (despite having to save her from nearly falling off the desk.)
Who knows how many people would give their all to be in your position, crawling over the fifth Hokage, trailing your tongue up from her center. Tsunade looks just as pleased, watching you navigate her skin with a hunger you’ve only ever seen her display at war.
And a hunger she proves when she locks her tongue with yours again.
Your bodies writhe against each other with the most tantalizing friction, and you can feel her legs begin to quiver. “Y/n,” she starts, and trails away.
There’s not much you can imagine she would want to say in this moment. “What?” You ask her.
And she smiles at you. The genuine smile you fell for over and over again in your youth, and the one that lingered in your head for years on end.
“I love you. But hurry it up.”
It’s as close to endearing as she would be willing to get, but it still makes the heat in your face reappear. And it ignites the final fuse in your cunt.
You reach to hold the back of her head gently, just as she licks your bottom lip. She practically purrs your name when you put one of your knees beside her waist, and ease to lay your other leg flat.
It’s like electricity across your skin when you finally get to move against her this way. The two of your bare, sloppy cunts squelching together as you both bucked into the other.
You had to touch her everywhere. You could feel the tingle in your spine, and the insatiable desire to lick her and massage her breasts. She was everything you had every wanted, and everything you had ever wanted to fight for.
The gods themselves would have to pry you away from her now.
317 notes · View notes
jikseud · 3 years
Text
[17:26]
pairings: felix x gender neutral reader
wc: 2147
genre: fluff with a bit of angst if u squint hard.
warnings: mentions of cheating (?), y/n being an ass idk what else, pls lmk if there are things to include hehe
a/n: I don’t really write that often soooo...
“I don't get why characters in horror movies are this dumb,” I whispered to Felix as we were watching this horror movie that we randomly found on Netflix. I heard him chuckle softly at my statement.
“That just adds to the thrill and interest, I guess,” he replied. He kissed my temple before pulling me closer to him.
My phone suddenly rang on the first half of the movie. I quickly went to see who it was and my heartbeat immediately picked up its pace after seeing the caller ID being “My love💖”.
Okay, now we're starting...
I am turning into a such a nervous wreck right now. My hands are starting to shake and my heart is starting to beat so loud that I could basically hear it in my ears. I stood up, looking at Felix silently excusing myself. I walked a little towards our room's window -which is not too far from where he is- before picking up the call.
"Hello? Sorry, I'm with him right now. I'll call you later," I ‘said’ quietly to the 'person on the other line' before ‘hanging up’. I looked up at Felix to see his reaction and saw that he's looking at me so seriously I felt my knees buckle. I tried to smile at him but failed nonetheless.
“Who was that?” he asked. I opened my mouth to answer him but nothing came out as my throat went dry. He raised his eyebrows at me. I lowered my head.
Okay, here we go.
"I-," I tried to speak but I just couldn't find the words. I sighed before looking back up at him. "It's no one," I told him, still trying to calm myself. He then rolled his eyes at me.
“If you're going to fucking fool me like this, then do better. I'm not stupid, Y/N. I clearly saw the caller ID,” he replied harshly. “And "I'm with him"? Really Y/n? If you're going to do this to me, give a little respect at least.” he added and my legs shook at his tone.
“Then why'd you still ask if you knew already?” I talked back quietly, too weakly for my own liking. He snickered.
“Because I wanted you to explain yourself at least,” he said and I swallowed hard.
“What's there to explain, though. You've already seen it, it's all that there is,” I told him and he scoffed.
“You could've at least told me where I went wrong... where everything went wrong? Y/n, you can't do this and expect me to not ask you for any explanation, I'm not as stupid as you think I am," he paused a little before continuing, "On what aspect of this fucking relationship was I lacking, huh? Are you getting too bored with me that's why you did this? Am I not enough for you anymore that's why you decided to find another one? Am I not loving you enough for you do this to me huh, Y/n? I thought we were having something special? I thought you said I was and will always be the one for you? What happened, baby? When did everything change? When did things go wrong between us? What did they do to get you sway that easily?” he questioned, his voice shaking from hurt. I sighed, every word was like a stab in my chest. He looked at me, his eyes searching mine for some explanation… any reaction. When they didn't give him anything, he spoke once again.
“When did this start?” he asked. My breath hitched. 
Well now, it’s working. 
It took me a while to answer but I did when I saw that he was getting impatient. “Just today,” I answered, stifling my laugh. He looked at me confusedly and I looked back at him trying to hide my smile.
“What do you mean ‘just today’?” he asked again.
I can't take this anymore...
“It's a prank, you dumbo!” I told him as he sat there, his confusion clouding him even more. I sat back down beside him as I tried to hug him but I was shocked when he moved away from me. “Why?” I asked. He stared at me with such hatred now and I couldn't help but feel nervous once again with the look he's giving me.
“What do you mean ‘Why?’ Y/n?” he asked. “You talk as if I didn't just caught you cheating on me,” he said. I gasped.
“Baby, I told you, it was a prank,” I replied with hurt in my voice. He looked at me, still not trusting my words. “I'm serious, Lix. It's just a prank. Do you not trust me enough? Go on and check if you want. I could never do something like that to you, you know that,” I told him with shaking eyes as I handed him my phone. He gave me daggers while he took my phone in his hand. When he finally held my phone, I felt my hand start to shake a little harder as I retreat it back and I think he noticed it with the way he glared at me.
“If you're being honest then what are you so nervous for?” he asked me skeptically. My eyes shot up at him, looking at him with wide eyes.
“H-huh, who said something about being nervous, h-hah-ah. Pffft I'm not nervous, shut up,” I told him. He glared at me once again before going back to checking my phone. I saw him swipe from left to right, probably looking for something that would prove my innocence.
It took him a few minutes -because he practically opened every single app in it just to be sure- before finally getting to the last page where he saw the widget labeled "To the man I love the most.💖" that I had prepared for him. I looked at his face just to check his reaction and then I saw him looking at it confusedly. He stared at it for a solid five seconds while his thumb was hovering over it.
The widget looked like it was excitedly shaking from my point of view, just waiting to be finally pressed and when the thumb above finally clicked on it, that's when all hell broke loose.
My mind had gone crazy by the time he started reading it. Tons of thoughts clouding my head and spilling continuously out of it like a water inside a broken dam, just like how every feeling I had has been spilling on Felix at the moment...
The widget leads to my notes app wherein a letter is written in a pink background. A color I know he really loves.
“To my baby,
Hello, my love! It's weird talking to you like this because I wasn't really fond of letters and all these sweet things but for you, I'm alright being cheesy and all that. First of all, I'm so sorry if I ever hurt you in the process of this thing... whatever this is... whatever it is that I did before you finally get to read this poorly written letter of mine which contains everything that I wanted to say to you but couldn't because I'm too shy hngg *insert cute face right here*. Anyways, I hope that you finally believe me that what happened before this was all a prank (the proof is literally beside this widget which is the Fake Call app, so don't fuck with me). Felix Lee, aka my sunshine, my happiness, my everything... I wanted to thank you for being the best man ever for me. Thank you for making me happy everyday, for taking care of me and or loving me every single moment that you have. You are seriously the best guy I have ever met (next to Harry Styles, of course... kidding) and I love you for that. I am so thankful that the Gods have given you to me (yes, bitch I own you... lol kidding again... but I'm not sure if this'll still be a joke after this though) and I am so thankful that you decided to stay with me even though I'm just... me. Felix, I don't know what else to say but just know that I love you and every single thing about you. I love how you scrunch your nose up whenever I make an awful joke but still try to laugh just to satisfy me (you're evil btw). I love how you cook for me when I don't wanna just because I'm too lazy (yes chef, go off!!!). I love how your eyes lights up when you're talking about something you love and something that you reaaally love doing (a.k.a ME). I love how your hair looks in the morning and even when you always say that you hate it, you still look so beautiful nonetheless. I love your freckles as well because it feels like I am looking at a sky full of stars and you're the sun wtf does that makes sense though? There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how so... Anyways, what I'm trying to say here is that, you are so amazing that I don't know how to put your amazingness into words and that I appreciate everything that you are. I love you, Felix and thank you for making me the happiest person in the world. But do you mind making me happier by marrying me?”
By the time he was finished reading my shitass letter, he was shedding tears with a smile on his face. Weird combination, I know. But it is so unfairly unfair how he still looks beautiful looking like this.
He stared up at me with tears still flowing out of his eyes as I slowly took the ring off from my own finger.
“I don't know what else to say to you, to be honest. I am so bad with words and you know that. I love you, though. I could go on telling you this everyday just to show you how much but I'm afraid I'd have to go on forever so will you finally answer my question and marry me? I promise I'd try and learn how to cook so you won't have to anymore… oh and I will try not to complain as much when you leave too much mess in the house,” I tried to joke just to lighten up the mood but I was confused when he started bawling out. I felt my eyes burn from tears as well and I let a few escape from them. "Why are you crying, stupid?" I asked wiping his tears off. He glared at me before pulling me into a hug and crying loudly on my shoulders. “Baby, stop crying, please. I don't know what's happening but I'm going to bawl out as well if you continue,” I told him. He sniffled before pulling away slightly.
"You... you bitch, I hate you so much for doing this to me," he said in between hiccups. "I hate you so much," he told me before bawling and hugging me again. I laugh at his cuteness even though I felt my hands shake once again. His possible answer finally clouding my mind.
I rubbed his back before kissing his neck lightly. "So are you gonna answer my question or what?" I asked him, getting a little impatient now because of nervousness. He pulled away from me.
"I hate you so much. I was supposed to be the one doing this and not you. I hate you," he said despite his eyes showing the exact opposite and still crying them out. "But just because we're here already, I have no choice but to say yes, I guess? Because I'd probably feel so bad if I rejected your goodass offer," He joked. I glared at him. "Kidding. I'd say yes anytime, you know that. I'd say yes a billion... trillion times," he told me and I smiled before putting the ring on his finger. He smiled so wide seeing the piece of jewelry on his finger before taking my face on his hand and kissing me hard.
"I love you so much, y/n," he told me after pulling away. I closed my eyes, feeling the moment. I leaned my face more to his touch.
"I love you more, baby. More than you could even imagine," I replied.
"Your prank is shit by the way," he stated after a while in silence as I hit him on the chest.
“Shut up, I still got you with my acting skills and you don't know how nervous I am while doing that thing when I didn’t have a solid plan,” I told him and he scoffed.
"Sucks for you then," he replied.
"Yeah? Well, sucks for you I'm not sucking you."
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herstarburststories · 3 years
Text
tolerate it
Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader
Summary: your love for Dean used to be celebrated, but now he tolerates it.
A/N: here it is, hunters! First fic of the year, wow! I hope you guys like it! Based on Taylor's song tolerate it. Also requested by @ashleyygeza!
Warnings: so much angst, language, smut
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There was this thing you always liked to do. It was mostly the learned behavior of a child that grew up in motel rooms. It was usual for the adult that called a bunker her home, too. You’d lay on your back, staring at the light on the ceiling and squint your eyes to the point the glimmering white light could be mistaken as the moon. You never thought you’d end up doing that to people as well.
It used to be something so sensual and sequin back then, but now the fact that he's so much older and wiser only makes you quiet. You see his bruised hands and worried glances; the stubble on his face growing as his sense of self starts to fade with borrowed time. Dean used to love you in screaming colors; now he just sits in silence reading with his head low, researching the next case under the dim light while you watch him. Sam can't seem to stand slow deaths either -- he just clears his throat and leaves the bunker with the empty excuse of a supply run. 
Still, you remain here. You stand still like a good ornament in Dean's collection of lovers. It seems like it's a matter of time until he leaves you too. Yet, you’re sitting and watching him, and you can't help but wonder if you aren't just another wrinkle on his face. You’d been a memory of something worth dying for, once, but now you were starting to believe you were just another battle scar; marred skin that had spent so long settling that he didn’t even notice the scarification anymore. 
Hours pass as quickly and emotionally draining as dry heaving. His huffs of annoyance and thirsty fingers of whiskey were difficult to ignore. The eldest Winchester doesn’t dare to approach you; to throw those dust-collecting books away and make love to you with dumbfounded grins and breathless groans like he had done so many times before. That was when you were a complete person and not just the husk of a lover destroyed. Once you held the strength of Jeanne d'Arc, now you sit and wait for a man to love you back. You’d be disgusted by your weakness if you had any pity left to spare.
If you look at someone too much you can confuse it with love. And if you already love someone and keep looking, you might waste all the rose-colored visions love could create. Maybe that's what happened to Dean. It’s a treacherous game, and it seems like he’s winning. Perhaps it’s your fault, your snide mind speculates against your will. You should try harder.
You don’t miss Dean’s hidden sigh of relief when the door makes a noise, announcing Sam’s return. How could you? You notice everything he does or doesn't do. At first, you fantasized that, even if it started getting messy before, he was pushing you away because of the whole fighting God problem, now you aren’t so sure. The clues were all over the place when Chuck was gone. Dean smiled at Sammy as if there was no tomorrow and said we’re finally free without sparing a glance at you. When they-- when he started building other worlds, where were you? That long-fraught, battle-ridden past of the Winchesters might be gone, but the more you try to turn the page, the more they stick to each other.
‘’Sammy,” his gruff voice says. It is the first word in hours that wasn’t half-hearted mumbles agreeing with your occasional comments or the tuneful hum of a classic rock song between reading and drinking. ‘’Did you bring any bacon?’’
‘’Yeah, but they need cooking--’’ Sam interrupts his brother, already familiar with this conversation. Dean’s half-open mouth and wiggling brows meant one thing. He was such a kid sometimes. ‘’And no. I’m not frying this cardiac embolism waiting to happen for you, dude.’’
You get up, aiming a smile at the long-haired hunter. ‘’Don’t worry, I can cook it. I was gonna make some pasta anyway.’’
Sam slightly nods before tilting his head towards you. ‘’You sure?’’
‘’Yeah. My butt’s already sore from the research. Those chairs aren’t that comfortable.’’ You scrunched up your nose with a good-humored grimace. 
‘’Okay, thanks.’’ You nod, throwing a last glance at Dean, who barely moved since you got in the conversation. You turn around, walking to the kitchen when Sam’s voice reverberated through. Deciding to overhear against all your sense of privacy, like a schoolgirl in the bathroom, you lean against the wall. You can’t believe the point you got to at those moments, but the answer to the question Sam asks may be the solution for your personal tophet. ‘’What’s up with you?’’
Dean doesn’t seem phased by his brother’s prodding. ‘’What do you mean?’’
Sam arches his eyebrows. ‘’No butt jokes?’’
At least you aren’t going crazy here. Even Sammy noticed something peculiar about Dean and you. There had to be an explanation or reason.; something broken that you could fix.
‘’I’m a grown-ass man, Sam.’’ He scoffs as you heard the chair being pushed. You nibble on your bottom lip, catching your breath as they continue.
‘’Yeah, sure,” the younger man snaps sarcastically. Dean rolls his eyes. ‘’Actually researching when I leave you two alone? Come on, Dean. Did you guys argue or something?’’
‘’We are just fine.’’ His boots scuffing against the wood floor makes a well-known melody, just like Sam’s loud sigh. You know him; he thinks this his brother’s way to avoid the subject and run away. You can’t say you don’t agree with that.
‘’Dean…’’
“I’m gonna take a shower. I spent two hours reading. I gotta get ready for my bacon.’’ It is a simple answer that made your heart spin like a girl in a brand new dress. You had the sudden realization that at least he spent those hours with you, right? Deadly in his quietude, but he was there. Women always are excellent at convincing themselves that crumbs are a whole meal. Therefore, convince yourself this is enough.
You hear the creaking under his strong, heavy steps as he leaves, and a couple more from Sam as well. Ultimately, you turn around, clapping your hands together as you glare at the food still waiting to be made. You give yourself a comforting smile as you speak: ‘’Time to get to work.’’
Then you go. You pace around the kitchen, preparing the lunch with everything you have. Make it perfect, make it delicious. Fuck, even make it deluxe with pre-made bacon and vegan pasta on a Tuesday afternoon. It’s so silly how you make such a lavish effort with the smallest things only to maybe catch a glimpse of his attention. As if Dean would see, truly look at you again. You gave him the best you had, and when you ran out of that, you gave him what was left too. 
The pasta is smelling good. You two used to be each other's better halves, but since the coin had been tossed, you are now each other’s worst reflections. He’s your coldness; the gelid nature that was so useful as a weapon to hurt those who came before him. The ignorance, the lack of care for the ones who claimed to cherish you with their ripped out chests and open hands. You can see you in the way he moved, told white lies and walked away. All the most brutal aspects that your soul built through the years. You almost burn your hand, but at least it isn’t his bacon. And in you, you hold all Dean hated in himself lately. The clingy behavior, always urging to serve and make someone else happy. So needy for a gentle touch, one single proof that his lurking was wrong and he was worthy, that he could be loved someday if he just tried hard enough. Desperate in earge for aprovation, just like you grabbing the Men Of Letters’ sumptuous tapestry and the elegant candle holder, laying the table with the fancy shit.
‘’Wow.’’ Sam says once he arrives in the dining room. Dean refrains his reaction to arching his eyebrows in an unspoken question: what the fuck is happening there?
‘’Is the queen visiting us or somethin’?’’ You catch the pissed off glare that Sammy gives him, yet the older Winchester just shrugs. His little brother had the same eyes as him in many aspects, he had to agree that all those snobby objects were too much.
Unbothered, too used to his butch nature, you chortle. ‘’I just thought we deserved some nice things tonight.’’
Dean hums before adding: ‘’As long as there’s bacon.’’
Sam praises how good the sauce you made tastes. Of course, Dean just nods and agrees with a grumble, not even taking a second glance at you. He doesn’t notice that you are watching him, neither does he compliment your cooking. You never get the reaction you expect from him. Not a thank you, or a true smile, or even a drop of love in the saliva of his kiss, but you keep trying. Just like he tried to make daddy proud for so long. You both should know that's not how it works, but who can argue with a broken child mosaic in an adult damaged heart?
The green eyed man purposely sets the scene in a manner that his brother would be between the two of you. And yes, you manage to double cross this signal and sit down on another chair by his side. Although, when your elbows accidently meet during the homemade feast, Dean doesn’t look at you with the lopsided grin that you love so much. He doesn’t lean in to steal a kiss. Instead, he moves to the side discreetly. You were the roots of hope once, the one who could grow inside him and wrap around his organs for some relief of the hematoma and blood. The Winchester held the arm that pulled you closer and made sure you would stay. But he no longer touches you and the plants died of thirst and you are still here. In these moments, your trick mind asks: why are you still here? You can’t answer.
The lunch goes by filled with your and Sam’s chatter, Dean’s loud chewing and Miracle’s ocasional barks until there’s no food or reasoning to postpone staying together. All the three of you raise up, adamantly ignoring the strange atmosphere. 
‘’We’re leaving in an hour.’’ It’s all Dean says before leaving the room. Sammy dares to squeeze your shoulder softly before following his older brother’s path. With a suspire, you collect all the plates and lead to the kitchen again, starting to put the 60 minutes to good use. Polish plates until they gleam and glisten, maybe Dean will sneak in and wrap his arms around you, press a kiss to your neck and tell you to go to bed, that he will take care of the dishes. He used to do that. This was then and this is now. It’s easy to get lost in the tangles of time.
Of course he doesn’t. Though the hunter shows up with a bag and shouts from the living room for you to hurry up, so you do. Sleeping in the backseat of Baby through the streets of the United States, you wake up with Sam gently shaking your shoulder. Dean is already inside the restaurant. You try not to think too much about it, he could’ve been needing to hit the bathroom or something. As you and the youngest Winchester enter the establishment, four trained eyes fall on your boyfriend and the waitress, who’s clearly leaning forward to make her cleavage more evident. You two pace towards the table just in time to hear the end of their conversation. 
‘’Call me if you need anything.’’ The name tag says that the brunette is called Andressa. She's tall, tan and beautiful, smiling in a way that you never can never conquer. You miss having that confidence, how you’d walk in a room and be sure people would stop and stare. Remember when you used to be like that?
‘’Betcha.’’ He gives her a lopsided grin, the one that used to be directed to you. Andressa winks at him and leaves, swapping her hips in the most seductive way, which catches Dean's eyes like it's the whole Aurora Boreal and not just a woman's ass.
‘’Nice shirt, yeah?’’ You take his indiscretions all in good fun. Dean, though, takes a deep breath and wipes his face, as if he's the one with the right to be annoyed in this situation. It's so stupid how you keep making yourself smaller to fit in whatever expection is comfortable for him. At some point you'll disappear-- but hey, no body no crime. You attempted to explain yourself, ‘’I was just kidding.’’
He tightens his mouth into a thin line. ‘’I know.’’
‘’I saw one on Shein.’’
‘’Come on, Y/N.’’ The green eyed hunter scoffed. ‘’That’s like, Belladonna’s boobs sort of thing.’’
It’s so stupid how his opinons can change your whole weekend, as if your emotions were some sort of board game that Dean played by his own rules. You hang your head low, playing with the menu. You can ‘’Yeah, you’re right. It was dumb.’’
‘’That’s not what I---’’ He stopped himself with a deep inhale. Why did it seem easier for him to criticize than compliment you? You are using your best colors for his portrait of stares, yet all you gain are vacant side eyes. That man killed for you, and now every second by your side seemed to be murdering him. ‘’You’d look good on it.’’
You decide not to go on the next hunt, give both of you a break from the grey skies that always seem to suppress you and Dean. What if you two just need time apart? You live together, work together, and even have the same group of friends. Putting the whole monsters and multiple deaths aside, it was pretty much like a normal relationship. You must just need some time alone to miss each other. So you start going on less and less hunts. God, past you’d hate that scared little girl act, begging to be seen like a shiny toy.
Your cell phone buzzes, causing a smile besides the burning anticipation building up in your veins, crawling under your skin like a million little stars, or bugs. It depends on how you choose the perspective, no surprise you’d go for the romantic one. Well, it's a text from Dean. Plaid and crude: getting home in ten minutes. Why’d you be unpleasantly anxious about that? He’s your boyfriend and he’s coming home after a week! Your fingers dance around the keyboard before answering a sweet waiting for you, with a couple hearts in the byline.
You get his favorite burger and a whiskey older than you in the Deancave, which is settled up with a three hours marathon of Scooby-Doo. It was always so adorable when Dean and you made bets to see who’d guess the episode villain first. Even his hot dog pants and his robe are on the armchair. As for you, you are waiting by the door like you’re just a kid, in a vat to greet him with a battle’s hero welcome. One, two, three, minutes piling up as uncountable as the hidden tears that you cry each week in after the city’s asleep. Let’s be fair, you should’ve seen this coming from a mile away. What was the last time Dean accomplished something he promised to you? He doesn’t even reply to your text message asking if he was okay. Minutes trapped into hours, and you’re sitting with your back to the wall, right next to the door he should have burst out long ago. Time’s ticking, your mind is so tired and your body is sore; it’s exhausting to love someone like this, so you take a rest when sleep wins your hopeful, unclever thoughts.
Dean arrives one hour later, an oral scarlet letter on his tongue that tastes like beer and unregrettable priorities, an apologist expression accompanied of a very grumpy-ish Sam as the door is pushed open. The short haired hunter purses his plump lips at the sad sight; you sleeping on the floor next to the door, probably waiting for him. Maybe he should've answered your text earlier and not just rolled his eyes and ordered another drink. What a suburban mistake for a Winchester.
Dean doesn't turn around to face Sammy; his brother made his opinion on that matter very clear during their roadtrip. Instead, his aching body just leans in and picks you up bridal style — that would've made him smile in the gentlest way his blood-stained mouth and sharp teeth could, eye dipping with joy and a silent promise for the future, but now that only gets a stoic expression as he walks towards your shared room. 
He dares to sigh. There you go, taking too much space and time. This might be a deceiving concept dappled with melancholic nostalgia, but to take space and time wasn’t a trouble before. Dean once worshiped the light-hearted emotion you could bring out his inner little monster - or his soul, whatever you wanna name it. The time wrapped around your finger as he was, and things were just good. Raw good. Yet, now he sees it; time’s always running, and so is him. It’s no surprise the heart he was holding fell and was left behind at some point of the race.
The hunter bumps on the door with his shoulder, leading inside the bedroom and placing you on the mattress. Your body can’t help but to cling to him as you mumble in your sleep; maybe it’s your fond memory, used to Dean’s body seeking some human contact only in the middle night.
Clicking his tongue, he pulls away. The movement is docile, just enough to wake you up. Dean can’t help but to groan at this.
‘’You came back.’’ You murmur, while Dean adjusts on the spot next to you in bed.
Arching his eyebrows with some comedic background, he answers: ‘’Of course I did. I live here.’’
Live. You wouldn’t call what he does living. More like a ghost hunting his old house when you are around. Or maybe you were the ghost and sure, most people would run away from it, but Dean always goes looking for the supernatural beings anyway. Unnerving that he’d make someone he loved out of one.
‘’Why didn’t you pick up the phone? I was worried.’’
He shrugs and kisses your hand. ‘’Was busy.’’
It’s a poor excuse, but those are all that have been holding you two together lately.
Here it is. Your inner anger for being treated wrong, the mad woman inside you scratching to come back. He has been treating you like a coat in Texas’ summer, like a stained flannel, like a forgotten feeling. You deserve more than this. You are so much more than this. Who he thinks he is?
But he has those green eyes that cried single man tears, and he’s so close you can feel his breath on your cheek. And you love that man so.
Instead, you smile and reach out for his hand. ‘’I missed you.’’
Dean doesn’t answer. He restricts any emotion to a grin, and suddenly you are under him. He pushes his lips against yours in a desperate act of recovery, to gain back what he somehow lost through the way. The green eyed man might not find his love in you, but there’s something else he can work with; luxury. Love was always harder to spell than lust anyway. To you, the way he howls against your lips is love. To him, it’s the confirmation of the absence of it. But he can’t let go.
Your hands and his, still together coaxing each other into giving in. It’s so easy that way. Dean rushes to rip your t-shirt, gaining a laugh out of your and a kiss to his jaw. He’s out of his pants before you can even pull away to assist him. The male catches your earlobe, kissing that sweet spot to make you whimper his name.
‘’Dean.’’
Your wince, his shirt is tossed away, just like your skirt. You aren’t wearing a bra, and quickly your cherry panties are pulled apart with a simple move of his finger.
‘’Gonna make you feel so good, babe.’’ His index finger is shoved inside your tight cunt. You throw your head to the back, spreading your legs open. You want to beg him to make you feel anything good, for him to be the reason of the holy and not hollow, just this once. ‘’You are so wet--’’ Another finger, they move inside of you in an attempt to find the right spot. ‘’So fucking tight for me. I’ve fucked you so many times and you’re still so tight.’’ Dean’s thumb caressed your clit as he licked his lips, relishing how you squirm and whine his name. What a good girl. ‘’Can’t wait to fuck you.’’
It doesn’t take much longer. The eldest Winchester quickly replaced his skilled fingers with his pulsating cock. His member begged to be inside you, squeezed by those warm and tight walls. Your pussy was always so good for him, taking him so nice. Dean moans at the sensation, his hand losing yours to hold the bedpost, his thrusting wildly against yours.
No more praising words, no more foreplay. He comes to get what he wants and you’re willing to give. He used to touch you like a priceless wine, now his hands are hustled and careless like you are just another bottle of cheap beer. Dean fucks himself into you and you can’t do anything but groan in pleasure. Sometimes the hurting can be delicious, too.
You crave more, though. Your hands, tiny compared to his, meet Dean’s back, nails digging into the bare skin in a reminder I’m here, you’re still mine. Your legs wrapped around his torso, which only caused his moves to go faster and more ferocious, destroying your needy cunt for any other. It feels so good to have him inside you, fucking you up to the point you are an inchorent ball of cum and sweat. He’s gonna get you there, it’s certain, Dean always does.
His thumb comes back to your vagina, digital press to your clit as he attacks your neck. You try to move your head and get those plump lips against yours, but he sounds like an animal, increasing his rhymin and sucking your tender skin.
Everything is so hurried and irrational and not intimate. He comes inside of you after your own release, marking you up with his orgasm. As soon as he’s dones, he crawls out of you and lays on his back. Sure, you come around and rest your weary head on his chest, but that’s what it is. Deep silence. Not the one where love or magic or whatever Aphrodite is made of fills the void and makes the lovers comfortable. No, this one is visceral, like a chuckle empty of joy. It’s like the tie of gold that tried you two were tangled and ripped. Your love should be celebrated, but he tolerates it. He tolerates everything you do. He tolerates your presence. 
The wrath sneaks in smoothly and astute. You aren’t just one night stand or a sweetheart. How can Dean act like you are? You lift your head and watch him breathing with his eyes closed. It’s so brutal, emotionally violent how you are aware that he’s only doing that not to have pillow talk. Where’s that man who’d throw blankets over your barbed wire? Easily misplaced by the one who threw your boundaries away and out the trap there nowadays. You made him your temple, you mural, your sky, now you’re begging for footnotes in the story of his life.
In the rare cracks of lucidity, you picture what would happen if you did what your old, better self would do. Dean appears to assume you are fine, but what would he do if you break free and leave you two in ruins, took this dagger in you and removed it, gain the weight of you then lose it? He was so comfortable with you. Maybe he didn’t think you would ever do that, but there’s just so much a woman with your determination and cleaverity can take. Believe, I could do it. You did it before with others. Sometimes you need to leave to breathe. Perhaps it's time. 
But then, he embraces you. Just like that, all your doubts and fears and bruises caused by his kisses are reduced to paranoia. You decide maybe you got it wrong somehow. Not even blinking at the thought that Dean enjoys cuddles. No, he’s pulling you closer and snucking his nose into your hair because he loves you. Convince yourself. You are majestic with lies, it gets surprisingly facile to tell them when you nuzzle into the Winchester’s neck like his smell is some sort of placebo.  
You aren't tiptoeing around it, or even stepping on the doubts with tiny hoaxes. You are barefoot on his love-- but his love feels a lot like walking through a street of fire and thorns. But hey, isn't that the point of devotion? To put something, someone first? To go through any suffering and starve to get to the prize, to walk through the golden gates? If this was a church, the priest would tell you to get on your knees and pray harder. You can see where he’s going. You’ll do better. Be everything Dean needs. You can be worthy-- you are worthy. You were his everything once and you can be that again. Pick up the soul tapestry he shrewd so unintentionally and patch it up. Most of those things must be in your head anyway, and if they aren't… Well. He will love you that deeply again, right? Right? It’s an echo. Right.
Tomorrow you’ll try again. In the name of love, condepedency, or whatever it is. Sit and watch him.
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Castlevania Season 4: I’m not mad, just disappointed
Season 4 is poorly written fanfiction, which is...better than a lot of things could be, I guess.
Spoilers below the cut.
Content warning: trauma, sexual assault, psychological manipulation
The Gods Have Had a Change of Heart
Or, “Season 3 Blocked and Ignored”
Season 3 felt like the fabric of the universe had been twisted just to inflict additional pain. Season 4 overcompensates in the other direction; trauma evaporates, and good things happen for no other reason than to make our favorite characters happy.
The Season 3 finale left two characters in particular totally devastated: Alucard and Hector. Alucard is violently betrayed in a horrifying sexual assault by the first two people he’s spoken to since Trevor and Sypha left. He ends up killing them in self-defense and puts their bodies on stakes outside the castle, alluding to his father’s habit of doing so and potentially hinting at a turn toward evil. Hector is seduced by Lenore and then enslaved using a magic ring.
Yet at the start of Season 4, it’s as if these things never happened. Alucard is troubled, but not totally devastated, certainly not evil. Taka and Sumi are referenced in exactly one conversation with new character, Greta, in which she says the rather tactless throwaway line, “I had a boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time once. But they never tried to kill me.” Hector is nominally imprisoned, but immediately seems highly agentic, perhaps even more so than before. He studies, lays traps, and makes secret plans with other people. Furthermore, his relationship with Lenore is completely transformed. From falling to his knees in abject horror and despair at being enslaved, he suddenly switches to light banter, in what is apparently a basically okay, mutually enjoyed romantic/sexual relationship. Manipulative, selfish Lenore is now a sympathetic character struggling to reconcile her own role and feelings with Carmilla’s plans.
The events of season 3 happened, remaining canon in the most basic, literal sense. But the emotional weight attached to them has disappeared into thin air.
Not gonna lie, I did breathe a sigh of relief when I saw that Alucard and Hector were okay. I’m soft-hearted! I don’t like seeing characters I like suffer! I mean, conflict is important, and I can deal with (or even enjoy in a certain sense) seeing characters suffer if it makes sense and serves a narrative purpose. But as far as I can tell, the season 3 finale was nothing more than lurid, meaningless violence. I probably wouldn’t have continued watching the show if it devolved into nothing more than finding novel ways to torture the characters.
Still, it doesn’t feel quite right to pretend like nothing happened either. Or, really, not that nothing happened, but that those things didn’t matter, didn’t hurt, didn’t leave lasting scars. That’s...almost kind of worse.
But, I thought, I can sort of forgive this sudden shift in the stars, given that there may have been some sort of change in creative direction relating to Ellis’ decreased involvement with the show.* Plus, season 3 was insanity. It’s not like it was full of great writing choices, so if we quietly ignore some of them, maybe that’s for the best.
*I only later learned that Netflix actually chose to continue with Ellis’ season 4 scripts. It is not lost on me that maybe Ellis doesn’t know how to write about the lasting effects of traumatic sexual experiences or how power dynamics can make a sexual relationship problematic because he doesn’t understand that those things exist.
Characters Being Nobody and Nothing Happening
Pretty Pictures, Not Much Else
Unfortunately, the disconnect between seasons 3 and 4 isn’t the only problem with this season. Although I felt that season 4 was a bit less boring than season 3 (I particularly enjoyed some of the earlier episodes of season 4), it suffers from the same basic problems of Characters Being Nobody and Nothing Happening.
None of the characters experience any significant development, let alone any sort of coherent arc. Sypha has changed slightly, becoming more rough and jaded. I did really like the scene where she talks about becoming the kind of person who says “shit.” I think it really speaks to how entering into a relationship with someone means taking on aspects of their lifestyle, and how that can change you in ways that you can’t predict and therefore can’t exactly “agree” to. Sometimes those changes are good, sometimes they’re bad, sometimes they’re neutral, and sometimes it’s difficult to know. But you have to accept that you’re sacrificing some aspects of the person that you could have been if you chose to live completely independently, or with someone else.
Trevor really hasn’t changed since season 1 when he first decided to take up the mantle of hero again. Likewise with Alucard. Hector and Lenore change, as previously noted, but that change is sudden, jarring, and occurs completely off screen in between seasons 3 and 4. Carmilla dies as exactly as she lived: bitter, angry, and violent. Saint Germain just kind of...gets fucked over in a nonsensical subplot, which is its own whole can of worms.
We also get several new characters in season 4, none of whom have developed personalities or motives, nor do they develop any of those things over the course of the season: Greta, Zamfir, Varney, Ratko.
And nobody. Does. Anything.
Trevor and Sypha spend the entire season trying to explore and aid Targoviste, which comes to absolutely nothing. They’re unable to help anyone, Zamfir dies, and they end up just jumping through a magic portal to the actually relevant subplot in the finale. Carmilla literally does little more than draw maps until she’s ultimately killed. Hector plays a minor role in Saint Germain’s extraction of Dracula from Hell; otherwise, he and Lenore basically just exchange banter. Saint Germain does sort of do some stuff? But it’s often unclear how he’s made his connections, who the people who are helping him are, or what exactly he’s doing in terms of his magic beyond “whatever it takes to get back to his lover.”
Sure, there are fight scenes, but they feel meaningless. There’s no context, no stakes. There’s also a LOT of dialogue, and it is. Not well written. Exposition is embarrassingly clumsy at times, and the philosophical musings are cliche at best, muddled and confusing at worst. There’s just not all that much going on.
That is, except for Isaac. But more on him in a second.
What Kind of Show Is This?
When the plot line adapted from Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse ended with season 2, the show struggled to establish a new identity.
Despite nominally dealing with themes like whether humanity is inherently good or evil and how to cope with wrongdoing and loss, seasons 1 and 2 ultimately boiled down to a pretty generic action-adventure/fantasy plot with found family/power of friendship elements. Main characters Trevor, Sypha, and Alucard don’t really wrestle with big philosophical questions or suffer any major defeats. They know that they have to take down Dracula for the good of the world, and they work together as a team to do it, with a little character development relating to their various backstories sprinkled in.
Then season 3 happened, and things got weird. The trio is broken up for what feels like a pretty trivial reason—Alucard has to protect the castle and Belmont hold, I guess? And the result of that decision is that the dynamics for the three main characters are completely unbalanced.
Ellis openly admits that he basically went feral with the writing of season 3, and it shows. The messaging in seasons 1 and 2 was cliche, but consistent. The message of season 3? Anyone’s guess.
Season 4 reversed the darkening of tone from season 3, but shares its inability to pick a story and tell it.
Isaac is the Main Character
Always has been.
While I can’t say that his character or arc are perfect, I can say that he actually has a character and an arc. He starts off motivated by his fierce loyalty to Dracula, then has to struggle to find his purpose once Dracula is gone. He goes from subservient to agentic. He goes from fully endorsing the genocide of humanity and not caring about his own life to seeing some worth in humans and genuinely wanting to live. He has an interesting moment that deepens our understanding of what night creatures are, while also serving as an exploration of the meaning of one’s fundamental nature. Most importantly, these changes happen naturally over the course of the show. They never feel forced or out of the blue, and while I feel like even more could have been done with Isaac’s character, there’s a lot to appreciate about what is there.
If there’s any thread holding Castlevania as a single, coherent work together, it’s Isaac. Not only is his character the best executed and the most coherent over the course of the show, his character explores themes that are larger than himself and relevant to the show as a whole, like those mentioned earlier: misanthropy versus a belief in the value of humanity; the ability to go beyond one’s “nature” or initial circumstances; and how to respond to being wronged or losing something important to you. Exploring the individual lives of characters is great, but really good writing usually requires going beyond that to reflect on broader questions and ideas. Isaac is the only character here that serves that larger purpose.
Sorry...I Just Don’t Buy It
The season 4 finale is crazy, although in a different way from season 3′s.
Varney being Death makes no sense on several different levels. I’m not going to spend a lot of time picking that particular plot twist apart, but I will talk about why I think it doesn’t work at the largest scale, and how I think season 4 might have been done better.
Last minute twists with zero foreshadowing are rarely a good idea, and this is no exception. Why introduce this “Death” entity at the last minute to be the most important battle of the season? The finale of the entire show, even? Besides the lack of logic or emotional buildup, this robs the show of the opportunity to make use of the antagonists that it already has. Since Dracula died, Carmilla has been the obvious choice for a new big bad. Why hasn’t she done more?
Season 4 feels crowded with characters and plot lines that amount to nothing. Why not bring some of these characters together? If Carmilla is the main antagonist, how come she never meets any of the protagonists (except Hector, who is a pretty minor player in this ecosystem) or even affects them in any way?
Season 4 feels like maybe it was trying to make something out of season 3 and the model that it presented, but it ultimately fails to do so. The writers throw the trio back together at the end anyway, so why not have them rejoin sooner and work together? Maybe Sypha and Trevor’s past experience with Saint Germain could have helped Alucard and Greta piece together what he was plotting sooner, rather than all four of them being completely blindsided by it in the penultimate episode. (Sypha and Trevor know that someone is trying to resurrect Dracula, but they fail to find out any actual detail about the plans, despite their supposed attempts.) Have characters actually do stuff, figure stuff out, advance the plot!
Likewise, maybe Carmilla becomes aware of Saint Germain’s scheming, sees it as a threat, and tries to take him down. Maybe she tries to get involved and somehow use alchemy or the Infinite Corridor to her own benefit. What does it look like when power-hungry Carmilla, who wants to rule the world, finds out there’s an entire multiverse out there? That could easily set her up to be a foil to Saint Germain, causing him to realize that what he’s doing is wrong.
What actually ended up happening in the show feels disjointed and often empty. In particular, most of the events that happen in the last two episodes just don’t really work for me. I didn’t like Trevor suddenly sacrificing himself to this random, new, super powerful enemy, or how the gems and dagger that he found just happened to be the perfect weapon to kill this new enemy, or how he inexplicably returns from the dead.
This kind of thing is what I mean when I say that this season feels like fanfiction. Trevor comes back from the dead for no discernible reason other than that it would really suck if he died. Greta as a character seems to literally only exist to be Alucard’s girlfriend and support him so that he doesn’t have to continue to be alone and potentially turn evil. Alucard’s trauma from Taka and Sumi and Hector’s trauma from Lenore are both conveniently erased. Even Dracula and Lisa are resurrected somehow and get their happy ending. And it’s like, I guess I prefer deus ex machina to the opposite (Does that have a name? When everything is going well but then something terrible happens for no reason other than to make things worse for the characters?), but they’re both bad writing.
God. This isn’t even getting into what happened with the Council of Sisters. And I don’t even really like those characters, but that doesn’t mean I want to see their characters handled poorly.
I’m not sorry that I watched until the end, but I can’t in good faith recommend the show as a whole. If you’ve yet to watch Castlevania, just stop at the end of season 2. While there are some shining moments in seasons 3 and 4 (4 more than 3), it’s just really not worth it.
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