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#not that it will happen because my mutuals are normal but if you tag this as ship anything i will come into your house with a gun
danketsuround · 7 months
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sunday six!
eastern hemisphere experiencer so i'll make it a true sunday six this week. tagging @fire-tempers-steel @c-cw-f-saeko @passthroughtime @overdevelopedglasses and uhh whoever else. no pressure but you're the only mutuals i can think of right now who are/might be working on something they want to share T_T
i didnt have much time to write this week cause i've been freaking busy but take this! *throwing motion*
more post lj au stuff with kuwana and mitsuru. mitsuru uses a wheelchair. this is the only real thing i'm consistently working on so you can check out other wips in my sunday six tag. sorry long intro. read below if you want
Kuwana stands next to a wilted pine tree and faces the ocean with Mitsuru by his other side. He feels a rock in his shoe. Wind crusts salt into Mitsuru's choppy-thick hair. Kuwana scratches a mole under his soft uneven buzz.
He sets off, leaving Mitsuru behind, dusting the sand with the bottom of his sneakers, failing not to get his shoes wet. It's soft and dry; moony, extraterrestrial. The ocean erases his footprint like it wanted to, and he turns around again.
"What do you think?" he calls out. "Can you go?"
Mitsuru gestures towards his wheels. Then the sand, then the water.
He catches up to the safe sidewalk. "It might stick a little, but."
"I can't."
"I should attach a motor to this thing," Kuwana thinks aloud, pushing the back of it with his foot a little. "Then we could go off-roading."
Mitsuru looks at him.
"Sorry."
The waves measure time. A few laps foam and dissipate within a second. The sound of the ocean is relentless, but it seems to put Mitsuru at ease. A cold air drives through them both when Kuwana realizes they've been sitting in silence for a few minutes. He can't count the waves or the grains of sand under his feet, nor the number of times his socks have gotten wet, but he knows the clouds have changed--they hang lower than they did before, or perhaps he's gotten taller. The sand spumes below them and a red crab shovels its way to the surface. Kuwana puts his hand against Mitsuru's cheek, his fingers moving to steer his head, his thumb to feel his low, alive pulse. Mitsuru takes Kuwana's hands into his own to push them away but holds them for warmth instead. His eyes are on the water. He used to swim.
"Sorry," Kuwana repeats, releasing his neck. "Do you see that crab?"
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overdevelopedglasses · 7 months
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"I'm gonna expose everything... and it'll be poetic coming from me"
Anyway, Judgment blew me away when I first played it. The story and characters are phenomenal, but Yagami absolutely astounded me with his role as the MC. His character arc and personal struggles were, and still are, incredibly relatable, and he's quickly become one of my favorite protagonists in video games and in general media. When Halloween came onto the horizon this year, I knew who I was gonna dress up as.
Roommates and I had a blast getting these photos, and they had both great ideas for poses and how to make me look good lol.
More pics under the cut!
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atinystraynstay · 3 months
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Double Take - Lee Chan
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Synopsis: Dino was convinced dating was just swiping on a dating app, going out for a diner, and maybe getting further than that before being ghosted. It was just the perils of dating as a young adult. There was just something different about you though.
Pairing: Non-idol!Lee Chan x fem. reader
Genre: "her first everything" girl meets the "first nothing" boy
Inspired by @aaniag - thanks for tagging me in this post ♡
First Encounters Mini Series: #1: #2: #3: #4: Wonwoo #5: Jeonghan #6: #7: #8: Dino
Word Count: 5k
Warnings: does contain descriptions of anxiety - please make sure you are taking care of your mind, body, and soul. If you ever need someone to vent to, my DMs are always a safe space 🩷
Dating in your 20s is not as glamorous as they make it seem in the movies. First dates sometimes flourished into second dates but quickly fizzled out. Or it sometimes was someone you were interested in that just turned into a one night stand.
While sure, there times that Dino wished he had a more solid connection with someone. But he was in no rush to settle down and get married.
Going to college helped Dino not only helped him find his passions in life but also found confidence in himself.
Maybe that was one positive to come out of dating apps? It made Dino feel good when he could swipe on someone and it was an instant match. He hated the moments where he would swipe on someone he found attractive, but would be stuck waiting to see if there was a mutual attractive. And sometimes, he would forget about who he swiped on because there would no ping indicating they swiped on him.
He never thought of himself as the most attractive guy. Honestly, he thought was more average than anything else.
But the moment he found himself in the bed of someone, he felt more reassured in himself. The more that people wanted him, attempted to gain his attention, he felt better about who he was as a person. I mean, college is all about self growth anyways, right? Dino's learning just happened beyond the classroom.
"Trying to find another date?" Seungkwan teased. "More like he's trying to find someone to fuck since he's getting lonely at night," Jeonghan added in.
There were times Dino regretted signing a lease with Seungkwan and Jeonghan. This was one of those times. The two of them thought fondly of their younger roommate, so they often lurked over his shoulder.
"Oh! She's cute," Seungkwan commented.
Hearing his friend, his head turned and narrowed his eyes at the culprit. He suddenly moved his phone close to his chest to gain some sort of privacy. But that was a big ask in this house especially with how close the three friends were. Jeonghan, being the menace he is, moved his hand around to move the phone away from Dino's chest which caused Dino to jump.
"Can I never have anything to myself?" he whined. "She's normally not your type, but maybe we could use a change?" "We?!" Dino gasped.
The two guys laughed before they moved away from the younger boy to go elsewhere in the apartment. Now alone, Dino did take a moment to look at your pictures closer. There were a few photos just of you. He found himself smiling at the way your eyes nearly closed when you were smiling wide. You also had a few pictures with friends at different events.
His thumb then pushed upwards on his phone screen, so he could look deeper into your profile. I have to know who she is.
The first thing he noticed was your name, 'Y/n," he murmured under his breath. It rolled off this tongue so eloquently. He also noticed that you were only 2 miles away from him.
Part of him wanted to stop and just swipe. There was always an element of mystery that came to first dates. Dino's favorite part was when he got to ask questions, got to learn about the other person. Yet, there was something urging him to keep going. After all, looking over your profile could give good talking points.
What sold the deal was your bio - "looking to experience something new 👀"
Intrigued, Dino swiped right on your account. And automatically, fire emojis skyrocketed from the bottom of the app and covered the screen. It's a match! was written across the screen as it brought up your profile with the ability to message you now available.
His fingers typed at lightning speed. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face at the presented opportunity to get to know you.
"I've never done this before. Wanna grab dinner tonight?"
You were at home, binging the reunion of Love Is Blind with your roommates. It was a lazy Saturday afternoon which of course required getting snacks from the grocery store, doing face masks, and a bottle of wine. All of your phones were placed on the table to minimize distractions
While all your roommates and you had different schedules, binging reality TV seemed to be the way you were able to come together. Everyone's eyes were watching the confrontation between two of the contestants when suddenly all eyes shifted to the coffee table once someone's phone lit up.
Specifically, your phone.
"Oh my god, guys! Y/n matched with someone on Tinder," one of your roommates called out. "And they messaged her."
And just like that, Love is Blind was forgotten about. Your third roommate reached for the Amazon Fire Stick remote to pause the Netflix show. All eyes then flickered from the coffee table and you. Never before had you been glad for a face mask to cover your face to hide your rouging cheeks, knowing that will only result in further teasing.
"Relax, you hyenas," you called out. It was as if they were holding their breaths until you read the message.
You typed in your password since your Face ID was not able to recognizing your face with the sheet mask on. The extra stop practically caused your roommates to shake with anticipation. You couldn't deny. You shared the same excitement, as you have decided this year, you were intentionally investing more in dating.
It's not like you had chosen before to not date. It was just something that settled on the back burner. You had always hoped to meet someone more organically, like at the coffee shop or on public transportation. Something out of a Hallmark movie. But that's not how reality worked. When you did meet someone, it was always overwhelmingly flirty which made you instantly retreat from the situation.
Yet, you couldn't deny the happiness you saw from your own friends and roommates when it came to their dating life. Oddly, even if it were a bad date, you wanted to feel the rush of getting ready for someone. You knew that in order to date that would require you putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. Your own saving grace was knowing your morales and not falling victim to social pressures.
Even if it meant not matching with many people because you wanted to take things slow, you would be content as you search for your perfect person.
Dino sent you a message
And maybe that was Dino.
There was no denying the smile that curled onto your lips at the name. You found the name adoring, peaking your interest. Your clicked on the message to read it.
"I've never done this before. Wanna grab dinner tonight?"
Your eyes widened which caused your roommates to lean in closer. The two right by your side let out a gasp, as the other two were practically going to pounce on you. However, you were too preoccupied with looking through his profile.
It took everything within you to maintain your composure, even if you wanted to squeal and kick your feet at the potential date. There were a few photos taken when he's been out to dinner. One in particular that caught your eye was him in a black tee shirt with a silver chain around his neck. Hello big arms! He had a softer face with a sharp jawline. Something about him seemed so friendly, making you even more willing to take the leap of faith.
"Come on, y/n," your one roommate begged. "We want to take a peak on tonight's bachelor."
You rolled your eyes before giving in and showed them his profile. One by one, your phone was passed around. Yet, after each person, there was a wide smile which indicated a sign of approval from your roommates. They knew that it took someone special for you to say yes, but it seemed like Dino had unlocked it just by sending a simple message.
"So what's the verdict, y/n? Are you extending a rose to Dino?"
What can you say? You guys really do love reality TV shows.
Without responding, your fingers went to work on the keypad of the app.
"Yeah, that sounds great! What's your favorite type of food? You can pick the restaurant as long as you meet me there at 7pm."
6:55pm
Dino had a routine when it came to first dates. Of course, he would shower first. He then would pick out an outfit that looked good but also one that was comfortable. Sometimes, after sitting for a while, he disliked the way certain jeans felt and he didn't want to be too squirmy in the chair across from his date. But he didn't want to dress too casually that might give the impression he was putting in little effort into this date.
For tonight, he opted for a pair of baggy jeans, a white t-shirt, and a tri-color cardigan. It was approaching that time of year when it might be a bit warm when the sun comes out, but gets a bit chilly still when the sun sets. Plus, he suggested going to a Mexican restaurant in between the two of you, so he knew while it might be a laid back setting, that he still looked presentable.
He had driven to the restaurant, since taking public transportation would take a bit too long especially since the restaurant was not even 20 minutes away. It was still light out too, but he knew when it was dark, he also had the opportunity to drive you home in the event you opted not to drive.
With his wallet and keys in his pockets, he approached the front entrance of the restaurant. It was a bit crowded for a Sunday night, but honestly, Dino didn't mind either way. He was admittedly excited that he was going to go out with you. Before leaving, Jeonghan and Seungkwan hyped him up and warned "she seems like a good girl, don't scare her."
There, indeed, was something different about you. Dino just couldn't put a finger on it, but that also made this date exciting. He's never had this level of interest in someone before.
As he approached, he noticed you were standing up front waiting for him. He couldn't help but smile at the gesture but also pick up his pace, not wanting you to be left waiting for long. Your thumb double-tapped your home screen, showing the time. Your noticeably let out a sigh before picking up your head. With a slight turn of your head, you made direct eye contact with him.
Dino couldn't help but notice the way your shoulders relaxed. Was she nervous? That's adorable. He wouldn't be rude and comment on it. He was just meeting you after all, and he wouldn't be so mean to embarrass you. Talk about a bad first impression.
"Hey y/n," he said as he approached you. "And you must be Dino," you smiled.
Gosh, her voice sounds angelic.
He never knew of someone who's voice matched so well to who they are as a person, but that wasn't the case with you. You were dressed so elegantly. Nothing too outlandish - just a pair of jeans and a rainbow colored sweater that looked light enough to be worn in any type of climate. You looked cute and breathtaking at the same time. A real life angel.
"I'm sorry if I kept you waiting," Dino apologized.
He reached behind you to open the front door, nodding his head for you to step in first. Your cheeks flushed quickly which caused Dino to smile brighter. "Thank you," you said before walking in. Dino let you take a few steps ahead of him before he joined in behind you. He kept a respectful distance, so you didn't feel uncomfortable but enough to indicate to any patron you two were together.
"Hi! I called earlier for dinner for two? The name is under Lee Chan."
The hostess nodded before looking down at the booklet, her finger acting as if it was guided to her name. Once she spotted his name, she grabbed the sharpie and crossed it out. She then proceeded to grab two menus before turning towards the two of you. "If you will follow me."
You glanced behind him with a wider smile this time. "You made reservations?" "Of course! I wanted to play it on the safe side."
It was such a tiny gesture but one that surely made your heart flutter. You never knew of anyone calling this particular restaurant for reservations, let alone anyone make reservations for the two of you. Knowing that Dino had been that thoughtful made you feel special. That had to be a tell-tale sign of the type of person he was. It just reassured you that this indeed was a good decision, even if it was spur of the moment.
You two were led to a booth along the wall. You were able to people watch if you desired, one of your favorite things to do. But it also offered enough privacy for the two of you to really get to know each other.
"M'lady," Dino said jokingly.
And he's funny! You giggled before accepting the menu from him. Being a bit nervous, you did look over the menu online before the date. You weren't trying to put too much weight on this date and all that it could potentially lead to. However, you still wanted things to go well.
"So? I gotta ask, is your name Dino or Chan? Or is there some secret third option?"
Dino couldn't help but laugh at your question. It was a fair question, and he knew that he would have to provide some context eventually. Lowering his menu, he wanted to be able to make eye contact with you. He didn't want to be rude!
"So, my full name is Lee Chan, but my friends call me Dino." "Dino," you said to yourself, smiling. "Why do they call you that?"
He smiled fondly at the memory of how he gained his nickname.
The menu was fully resting on the table, not only because he had made his dinner selection but because ehe was now fully invested in the conversation with you.
On the receiving end, the attention was a bit overwhelming. You were not so accustom to someone you were interested in making such direct eye contact with you. It only intensified the butterflies you felt in your tummy by his conscious choice of body language.
Yet, it wasn't something Dino just knew to be good manners. Plus, after one date when he looked all over the restaurant instead of just focusing on his date, he learned that's one way how you don't secure a second date.
"Well, believe it or not, y/n, I was a shy guy. Especially when I first was starting college? I could barely say hi without feeling nervous. But I guess as I experienced what it means to be in college, put myself out there, I started to gain more and more confidence. Eventually, my friends started to notice and said I was like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park, just bursting into the room and getting everyone's attention with my loud energy."
You nodded gently as you listened to him, smiling. You wanted him to keep talking to you, about himself. It helped take some of the pressure off of yourself, but you also were genuinely interested in Dino.
"Well, it is a very fitting nickname. Cute, I like it." "Cute like me?" Dino winked.
Immediately, your cheeks turned bright red as you tried hiding behind your menu. Dino couldn't help but chuckle more which only made you want to sink further into the booth, to hide. Was it a pitiful laugh or did he find it attractive?
God, what have I gotten myself into?
The waitress was your saving grace. You didn't have to come to some lame excuse or be subject to Dino's line of questioning quite yet. The waitress also coming around to take your order allowed the blood to subside from your cheeks. You wanted to try to be this cool and mysterious, to leave a good first impression. But honestly? You felt like a fish out of water. This was a brand new experience for you, and you were beginning to think you were too over your head.
Were you even ready to date? How does one even know if they are ready or need more time?
Once your orders were placed, Dino and you handed your menus to the waitress before she left you two alone. Here we go.
"So, y/n, tell me about yourself," Dino asked before taking a sip out of his water.
Okay! An easy question! Perfect.
You sat up a bit straighter in the booth, becoming a bit self conscious of your posture. At least from everything you've heard and seen about dates, even the tiniest things can make or break the date.
You told Dino about how you recently graduated college in the winter. Recently, you took the leap to move the city as your job was switching from remote to a hybrid model. You also needed the change of scenery, which has helped you want to put more roots down in the city.
Dino was impressed with your sheer perseverance. It's never easy to say goodbye to what you now and venture into the unknown, but you proved it was possible.
"Wow, that's really incredible. Good for you, y/n. I moved here with two of my best friends, so I cannot not imagine just making such a big move. Do you live alone?" "Oh no, I have like 5 roommates in our three floor apartment. It really helps." "So like a little family?" "Definitely feels like that sometimes," you laughed.
Truly, you held your roommates close to your heart. Not only did things work out for a good living situation, but they were the first friends you made in the city. They helped you through the homesickness you felt by letting you openly talk about life back home, or push for you to cook some of your favorite meals for them to try.
They also were big supporters in your venturing into dating. They offered many tips into how to date safely and allowed you to ask questions without judgement. They also were clearly very excited you took a chance of Dino rather than running in the opposite direction.
"So is that why you're on the dating apps? If you don't mind me asking, do you find yourself ready to date in a new palce?"
Well, he was half-right.
"Yeah, I think I'm ready to finally open myself up in that way. Moving and getting used to my surroundings really took a large chunk of my time." "No, that's completely understand. I've come to learn you need to be satisfied with yourself and other aspects of your life before being vulnerable with someone else because someone can really shake things up." "Well, for better and for worse."
He smiled at your optimism before nodding in agreement.
"So, if you don't mind me asking, when was your last relationship? It sounds like you have some past experience."
Dino couldn't help but chuckle. It wasn't really at the question himself, but the experiences he has had with dating were a bit comical. You frowned a bit, worrying that you asked the same question. He quickly stopped though to offer a gentle smile.
"Sorry, it's not you. Some memories of past dates came flooding in," he explained.
Well, that's more than I have, so you couldn't wait to hear them. Maybe they were just as funny as some are on the sitcoms you liked to rewatch?
Yet, you couldn't help but wonder if your very limited experience would be a deal breaker.
"What about you though? If you don't mind me asking," Dino said, restating the exact words you said to him.
It was meant to be comforting, but it made you all the more nervous. I guess it was the moment of truth.
"If we're being honest, I haven't been in a serious relationship before."
As you spoke, your tone was softer than from how you had previously carried it throughout the conversation. Dino couldn't help but frown and feel his heart chip a bit. Going on dates and then dating someone was always exciting, so he felt empathetic that you hadn't quite experienced that type of emotions yet. And he also felt sad that people had done you wrong.
"People suck," he murmured. "I'm sorry that you've been out with people who didn't take the time to realize how lucky they were for meeting you."
Your eyes widened at his words. You opened your mouth to clarify but you were so thrown off by his words. Luck? He thought it was a good thing meeting me? A complete stranger? You bit the inside of your cheek to try to rid of the creeping blush on your cheeks. This guy was too sweet to you.
"I mean, I felt like I was lucky when I found out you swiped on me," he confessed.
Now it was Dino's turn to blush. Your eyes widened but you couldn't help but smile wider. It was endearing to see him get a bit shy, almost like he was revealing the past version of himself. You were truly the lucky one that someone had just wanted to spend their Sunday evening with you.
"Trust me, I felt the same way. Even more so when you asked me. It was an easy yes."
Dino's ego came soaring back a bit. He knew the hardship of dating in college and trying to form authentic relationships. What he found himself wanting to do now was give you the best that he could offer to you.
"So is that what you meant in your bio when you put that you are looking for something new?"
It was as if in that moment you could hear glass shattering. Reality had come back into full swinging, shattering any sense of hope you had. There was no fighting the truth because it always finds a way to reveal itself. God, I just want to be eaten by the floor.
"Actually, yes and no?"
You sounded unsure of yourself. Yet, not wanting to jump to any conclusions, Dino kept a smile curled onto his lips. The way he sat was relaxed yet he was leaning in slightly, showing you that he was ready to listen to you. It was a silent way of encouraging you to speak, if you wanted to that is. Honestly, Dino just appreciated that he was with someone who seemed genuine rather than someone looking for a free meal or just to sneak off to the bedroom afterwards.
"So yes, this," you said, gesturing between the two of you. "is new to me. I've never gone on a date with a guy I matched from Tinder."
As if Dino's ego could grow anymore. You took a chance on him? You decided to try something new, to experience something different from your day-to-day all because you saw his profile? And that himself decided to take a risk and message you? Damn, he just won the damn lottery.
"But dating in general is new for me."
Woah, pause. You've never dated someone before? His eyes widened and jaw dropped slightly.
All you could do was sit there as began to panic. Oh no. Everything around you felt like it was coming tumbling down. And to make matters worse, the waitress showed up with your dinner plates. She set them down in front of the two of you respectful. The awkward tension literally being cut by the sound of sizzling meats from Dino's fajitas and the steam rising into the air.
"Let me know if you two need anything else!"
I need you to help me get out of this nightmare.
"Sorry," Dino said, clearing his throat. God, he felt awful. He could actually see the way your heart shattered at his reaction. And the thing was that he didn't even think it was a bad thing. He was just surprised because he was under the impression that everyone his age just dated around and that it was awful.
Time to do some damage control.
"I'm just surprised. I know it can't be because guys weren't throwing themselves at you. I mean, you are absolutely breathtaking," he vocalized. "But you really never have been on a first date? Ever?" "Never ever," you said, laughing nervously.
Now he felt the need just to get to know you, but also be protective of you. You truly were an angel in every sense to him.
The remainder of the date was smooth. It was as if disclosing your little secret helped you feel more relaxed. It also helped that Dino didn't come from a place of judgement. You did end up asking him what all he had experienced, and he admitted that it was quite a bit more.
But it seems like the thing you two were searching for was an authentic love connection. It was something Dino has gotten close to experiencing, but only scratched the surface of discovering.
Dino was the absolute gentleman during the date. He made sure you had enough water, that you were enjoying your meal, and that he even paid. That was something he wouldn't let you dispute. You weren't expecting it either, which also took Dino by surprised. He figured it was just first date etiquette that the man pays. Yet, you've heard too many horror stories from your roommates and TikToks were the guy doesn't even over to pay his half.
He even offered to drive you home. You were hesitant, for which Dino than at least offered to order you an Uber back to your apartment. But feeling guilty of him spending more money, you agreed to a ride back to your apartment. He allowed you to put in your address into the GPS before you relaxed in the passenger seat.
Never before did Dino think there was something special about a person riding passenger seat. Now, he wanted you always to be by his side in this sense. He loved glancing over whenever he rolled up to the stop sign or stopped at a red light that he could see you.
There indeed was something different about you, and Dino felt it. You were unlike any other woman he's been with as you seemed to want to invest in someone, to create something unique. You made him feel as though all those trials and tribulations of dating were all worth it if it meant it led all to you this whole time.
Coming up to your apartment, Dino parked the car. You raised an eyebrow as you watched him get out. It all clicked though when he walked around to open the passenger side door.
"You really are a gentleman, huh?" You said teasingly. "Hey, I'm just making sure you get to experience everything you've missed out on."
You smiled brightly at him before gently getting out of the passenger seat. And this time, you didn't hide your blushing cheeks. Dino loved knowing that he could elicit that type of reaction out of you, and he wanted to do it more often. Hopefully he's done enough to get you to consider a second date.
Once he made sure you were on the sidewalk and away from the door, he closed it. Slowly, he began walking you to the front door of your row house apartment. It was as if he didn't want the night to end. Neither did you.
"So," he began. "How was your very first date?" "It was everything I could have dreamed of and then some. Thank you for your kindness, Dino." "Anything for you, angel,' he confessed in a hushed tone.
Angel. I could get used to that.
Sooner than you two would like, you arrived at the steps of your apartment. Turning towards each other, you seemed like a lost for words. Especially you. What do you say to a guy that seems too good to be real? While you were hopeful he would want a second date, you wanted to be realistic. You couldn't fight the thoughts of your anxiety creeping in - what if he was only kind because he felt bad for you?
"I had a great time tonight, y/n," Dino began.
You were more than happy to let him take the lead on any sort of closing statement. Your racing heart and mind just was anticipating a 'but' to slip in.
"I don't want you to feel pressured to say yes to a second date. I know that there are a whirlwind of emotions that comes with any first date, let alone your very first one. All I'm saying is that I hope you consider seeing me again?"
The man in front of you was not the confident man you just had dinner with. He was biting his lip gently, his hands were in his pockets as he tried his damn best to keep eye contact with you. But, you could tell that he was anticipating a rejection.
Oh, how the tables have turned. Gently, you took a step towards Dino. His eyes widened slightly but he couldn't fight the smile on his face. Leaning up gently, you pressed your lips to his cheek lingeringly.
"And miss out on experiencing a second date? No way."
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yawnderu · 5 months
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heads up there are accounts on here within the cod fandom planning to mass report accounts that post dubcon/noncon fics. would be a shame to lose you to those losers
Yeah, I figured out that would happen eventually when I started getting weird comments and anonymous asks about my noncon stuff lmao mini rant ahead.
Whatever happens happens ig, I have my stuff backed up but it's annoying and discouraging to see people deciding to comment hate on dub-con/non-con fics as if there isn't a warning for that type of content on the beginning of every single dark fic I make. I've had people tell me I'm normalizing sexual assault/rape as if I'm not a victim myself, and that's mainly why I've stayed away from writing dark fics until lately.
The community can be exhausting, giving people the chance to remain anonymous and say all the stupid shit they want to say without any consequences to it. Can't even count the number of things I've deleted from my inbox and never bothered answering because they're simply weird, hateful, and just make me tired as hell.
It's insane how impossible it seems to be for people to simply scroll away when you see warnings of topics you don't like or that trigger you. Truly, it's as simple as blocking an account or dismissing the post, there are tags you can blacklist as well, so why does it seem so difficult to use common sense?
Anyway, just woke up and I'm exhausted. I'm going to be taking a small break from Tumblr and writing while I work on some other stuff and try to get inspiration for my fics<3 I love you guys, I've always been immensely thankful for the support I've gotten. We're at 4438 followers now, should get to 4500 by tomorrow. I'll come back with hopefully more original ideas and more practice!<3
If any of you guys would like to play MW2/MW3, hmu! andddd to my mutuals, if you wanna add me on discord lmk<3
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bluebeary-jay · 10 months
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Midnight kisses
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Joel Miller x f!Reader
Summary: Jackson celebrates the New Year’s Eve, and you're thinking about finally confessing to your crush how much you like him. but Joel Miller, the object of your affections, might have other plans in mind. (based on this adorable request!!)
Tags: FLUFF my beloved 🥰, Joel is very flirty in this one, lots of crushinggg, just old sweet mutual pining (also they're both lovesick idiots)
Warnings: mentions of alcohol and being drunk, jealousy, age difference
Word count: 5.4K
A/N: i had a lot of fun with this one 🥰 thank you so much once again for the request, dear, i hope you'll like what i came up with. (btw this was supposed to be a short fic but it seems i'm unable to write one 😔) still i hope yall will like it and as always, happy reading!! 💕
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
The party was in a full swing.
You didn’t expect anything else from the Jackson community. Ever since you arrived here, you were astounded by the effort that the people living in this small town were making to create a life as normal and joyous as possible – for their children and themselves. And today, on New Year’s Eve, they outdid themselves. There was food, music and drinks – almost as if the apocalypse outside those walls never happened.
You were sitting by one of the tables, sipping on your beverage while you waited for your friend, Angie, to arrive. Dancing alone didn’t sound like an appealing idea, so while you waited for her, you opted for some people-watching – though if you were honest with yourself, it was more like ‘person-watching’.
Your eyes strayed to a figure on the opposite side of the room for like a twentieth time, but you couldn’t help it even if you wanted to. Because there stood a man who still, even after more than a year of knowing him, made the butterflies in your stomach take flight.
Joel Miller.
He looked really good in a clean flannel and fitting jeans, you conceded. His hair was slightly wet, like he washed it just before coming to the party, and combed a little to the back, making the silver strands in his hair and beard shine in the low lights. You found yourself unable to look away or get rid of that stupid grin on your face that lingered when Joel smiled lopsidedly at something his brother said. The muscles in his arm bulged when he lifted his glass to take a sip, and you watched the lines of his neck when his throat bobbed...
“You’re ogling,” murmured a voice next to your ear, and you jumped a little in surprise. Next to you stood Angie, smirking at you.
“Jesus, Angie.” You put your hand on your chest, your heart pounding rapidly. “A ’hello’ would be nice.”
Your friend knew, of course, about your massive crush on Joel Miller, and you thought more than a year of pining on your part would cause her to grow bored of all the jokes and teasing that she threw your way. Apparently, you were wrong.
“Hello,” she said, then sat down on the other chair and leaned closer to you with a wide smile. “You’re ogling. In a room full of people, may I add.”
“I’m not,” you murmured defensibly, but your face grew warm at the realization that she caught you. “How long have you been standing here, anyway?”
“Like half a minute. By the way, you’re also drooling.”
“I’m not!” you repeated, now in an irritated whisper. You knew you weren’t drooling, but still had to refrain yourself from wiping your mouth, not wanting to give her the satisfaction. “Stop making things up.”
“You should just go talk to him.” Angie casually nodded in Joel’s direction. “He didn’t come with a date, sooo…”
“That doesn’t mean anything. Maybe he’s waiting for someone.”
“Uh, duh!” Angie flicked you on the forehead, and you hissed. “For you to make a move. You can… oh, I know!” she bounced in her seat excitedly and clapped her hands. “Ask him to dance with you!”
You almost snorted. “Joel Miller dancing? Sure. He wouldn’t agree even if he did like me.”
“He does like you. Jesus, you flirt with each other all the time.” The smile disappeared from her lips and she rolled her eyes. “Honestly, you’d have to be blind and deaf not to notice. And maybe dead.”
“There’s no flirting, I told you.” You took a sip of your drink, glancing at the object of your affection. “He talks in this way to everyone.”
“He never called me ‘darling’,” Angie retorted. “Or gave me his jacket when we got caught up in the rain.”
You smiled softly at the memory, but that just made you feel even more hopeless, because since that day, you weren’t able to have a normal conversation with the man you liked so much.
“What do I do?” you whined, leaning on the table. “He’s so beautiful. And he for sure doesn’t see me that way.”
“Are you drunk already? You said you didn’t want a repeat from–”
“–from last year, yeah,” you finished for her and sighed. “I’m not drunk, just feeling down. There’s no way I’ll be able to tell him I like him, Angie.”
“Maybe you won’t have to.” Your friend nudged you gently. “You can just inconspicuously take him under one of the mistletoe and go ‘oh, what’s that?’, and then…”
“What mistletoe?” you asked, only now looking up at the ceiling where familiar-looking leaves were tied with a string to the support beams under the ceiling and above the doors. “Why is there mistletoe hanging?” you asked skeptically. “It’s a New Year’s Eve party.”
“I think they haven’t taken it down since last week.” Angie shrugged, but then grinned at you. “Don’t you think it’s a sign, though? So many places to kiss your crush under~...”
“Jesus, keep your voice down,” you groaned, hiding your face in your hands again. “You’re impossible.”
“You’re impossible,” she mocked in a low voice. “I’m trying to help.”
“I know, babe,” you whined, and sighed heavily again. “You know what, maybe I should just forget it. Let’s go have fun, dance, and later throw up from all the food and…”
Suddenly, Angie interrupted you with a high noise in her throat. You gave her a questioning look and she looked at you with a tight-lipped smile and wide eyes.
“He’s coming here.”
“What?!” You automatically turned around before Angie hissed for you not to look, and sure enough, there was Joel Miller, making his way through the crowd with his eyes locked on you. “Oh my god,” you breathed, clutching at your friend’s hand. “He must’ve seen us talking. What do I do?”
“You sit there and look smoking hot, and let him flirt with you,” she answered with confidence you didn’t feel. “And maybe you won’t even need to ask for the kiss, maybe he’ll do it for–” Her eyes darted above your shoulder. “Oh, hey, Miller.”
You gulped and took a deep breath before turning around and– oh, God, he looked even better up close.
Angie kicked you lightly under the table when you didn’t say anything, and you cleared your throat, smiling up at the man you were so crazy about. “Uhm, hi, Jo– Mr Miller.”
“Didn’t I tell you to call me by my name, sugar?” He had kind of a boyish smile on his face that made him look younger and even more handsome, which in turn made your stomach fill with warmth. He sat down next to you, and his eyes scanned you down and back up, slowly, lingering on your legs and curves just for a second longer. “You look lovely.” He then glanced at Angie, sending her a nod. “Both of you.”
“Really?” you beamed, and Angie kicked your ankle again, making you wince. “Uhm, thanks. You clean up nicely yourself.”
A trace of smirk ran across his face, but it was gone before you could make sure it was really there in the first place.
“Are you enjoyin’ the party?” he asked casually, hiding one hand in the front pocket of his jeans. Your eyes followed his movement before you caught yourself.
“Y-yeah, it’s nice. A little too loud for me, but really nice.”
“Maybe you wanna step outside for a bit, then?” Joel nodded in the direction of the deck in the back, and your heart started beating faster.
Did he want to be alone with you? Or was just being polite and preferred to talk somewhere quieter, and you were getting your hopes up unnecessarily? You hoped it was the first, that he genuinely enjoyed chatting with you as much as you did with him – but you never knew with a man like Joel Miller. He was an enigma, sometimes serious and so stoic that you couldn’t for the world figure out what was going on in his head, and other times charming and teasing, making you weak in the knees when he was looking at you with that fiery glint in his eyes…
“Sugar?” Joel asked, lifting his eyebrows with what seemed to be amusement, and you cursed yourself mentally for spacing out.
“Sorry, I… Yes, let’s– sure, let’s go.”
All of you stood up and you looked over your shoulder at Angie with a panicked face, but instead of reassuring you, she sent you a quick, sly grin.
“You two go ahead,” she chirped. “I’m gonna go look for my date.”
“Angie–” you whispered, giving her a look, but the woman just winked and turned around, disappearing into the crowd of dancing people. “Angie!”
Before you could go after her, you felt a big, warm hand on the small of your back, and your entire body tensed. Joel leaned over to your ear, whispering in a low voice.
“Shall we?”
“Yeah,” you squealed, so quietly he probably didn’t hear it over the loud music. “Sure.”
Your legs moved on their own, going where he guided you. The walk to the terrace in the back lasted no longer than fifteen seconds, but it felt like hours had passed. You were very aware of the light pressure of his fingertips on your back, with only one layer of material separating your skin from his, and the nerves of feeling him so close behind you were making you walk stiffly and oddly – though, miraculously, he didn’t seem to notice.
“I don’t like how loud the music is, either,” Joel said after you two exited the main room, and he closed the door. Then he glanced at you again, his eyes flicking to your bare legs just for a second longer. “Are you cold?”
“No,” you answered truthfully. Not only was it nice to feel the cool air after sitting in a stuffy room with a crowd of people for so long, but also you still felt warm from Joel’s closeness. “I’m alright.” Joel nodded absentmindedly, and you squinted. “Did you want to talk about something or…”
“Nah, just wanted to escape for a minute.” He rubbed his beard and shrugged, but there was tightness to his body language. “Not much to do in there except for drinkin’.”
“And dancing,” you cut in.
Joel glanced at you, and the lazy smirk returned onto his features.
“You like to dance, sweet girl?” he asked, and you felt your face growing hot when you heard his tone. Low, drawling and oh, so delicious.
“If the party is good, yes, I guess so.” Then you remembered what Angie suggested earlier, and you took a shaky breath, mustering all the courage you had in you. “We… if you want, we could dance a little later, if they play something nice…?”
But the hot nerves in your chest turned to cold disappointment when Joel started to shake his head with a chuckle. “Nah, darlin’. Sorry, I don’t… I’m no dancer.”
“Noone here is,” you retorted, a bit hurt by how quick his rejection was. “It’s just for fun.”
“I know better ways to have fun than t’make an idiot of myself in front of bunch of people.”
“Like what?”
Of course, you just had to ask.
Joel smirked, as if he was just waiting for it, and took a step forward, forcing you to take one backwards. His brown eyes bored into yours, making you weak in your knees, and you promptly turned your gaze away, not able to withstand the tension in the air. With a cough, you walked up to the wooden railing, pretending that you weren’t feeling sheepish at all.
“For one, talkin’ here with you is fun enough for me.”
You forced yourself to look at Joel when you heard it, just to see if he’s joking, but the man appeared genuine. He leaned against the rails, his hand right next to your shoulder, and you couldn’t get rid of the thought of how easy it’d be for him to cage you in this spot with his strong arms, how he’d make your entire body tremble…
But you weren’t quite sure yet if he was being sweet or just tried to mess with you, so you decided that a teasing response would be the best course of action.
“I don’t know.” You shrugged lightly. “I’d still like to find someone to dance with tonight.”
At that, Joel’s hand gripped the railing tighter and his body stiffened. You had to hide a triumphant smirk on your face, pleased that you managed to throw him off his game – whatever it was that he was playing.
“One of your friends?” In your peripheral vision you saw him lifting his eyebrows with the faintest of scowls. “Or one of those shady guys sittin’ at the bar, staring at pretty girls like you? ’Cause they’re no good for you, darlin’.”
“Oh, really?” you scoffed and lifted your chin, feeling touched that Joel was acting so protective – (and maybe even… jealous?) – about what you said. “You were the one that didn’t want to dance. What do you know about what’s good for me, anyway?”
“Those guys won’t treat you right. They just want a girl to spend the night with, and you deserve better than that.”
He was right, of course, but it didn’t mean you were going to openly give him his due. You made an acknowledging noise, not really sure what to say, but Joel didn’t seem to mind. He continued in a quiet, raspy voice that sent shivers down your spine. “You deserve someone who’d take real good care of you, darlin’. Not some drunk out of their ass idiot.”
“Are you drunk, Mr Miller?” you asked, not looking at him in fear he’ll see how red his words made you, though you could still see his smirk in the corner of your eye.
“No.”
“You act like you are.”
“C’mon, sugar, look at me.” He took your chin between his fingers and your body went rigid. His warm gaze met yours for just a second, and he tilted his head forward a little. “Do I look drunk?”
“A little.” You turned your head away, but he tsked and guided your chin back.
“In the eyes, darlin’.” You gulped at his words, and his dark, brown irises twinkled in the fairy lights dangling from the roof and walls. “And call me Joel, please.”
His chest was almost touching yours, and you felt the wooden railing digging into your lower back, but at that moment you didn’t mind at all. Joel was so close, and your breath hitched in your throat when you got enveloped in his earthy smell, with a tinge of bonfire and… was that cologne? For some reason the discovery that he used cologne for tonight made your heart flutter.
But as much as you loved every second of being so close to him, you remembered that you weren’t alone on the terrace. There was a pair of people talking – well, now kissing, judging by the sound of it – and your eyes darted to the side to see if they were looking at you both. “Come on, there are people here. It’s not…”
The man clicked his tongue in disapproval and moved slightly closer, now practically pinning you against the railing with his body, and you squealed unwillingly when he, once again, made you look at him.
“Eyes on me.”
And God, if it wasn’t the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen or heard. It was unfair how much power his gaze and tone wielded over you.
“Okay,” you managed to whimper, and the corner of his mouth curled upwards, creating that adorable dimple in his cheek.
“And my name, sugar.”
You didn't know why you were complying so easily, but something about the softness and tenderness in his voice made you feel safe. He wouldn’t hurt you, of that you were absolutely sure.
“Okay, Joel.”
His thumb brushed the edge of your bottom lip with the softest of touches, making your legs almost turn to jelly. It made you want to say his name again, though in a much more needy tone.
“That’s a good girl,” Joel murmured with a smirk, never looking away.
Lord, have mercy.
You were so grateful for the wooden rails behind your back, because you were sure you’d collapse any second now if he kept looking at you like that.
“I… Joel…”
“Tell me if you’re uncomfortable,” he murmured without taking his eyes off of you for even a second. Your brain was mush at this point, but even if you could formulate any words, you doubt you’d ask him to step away. So you settled on shaking your head slightly, to which Joel nodded. “Lemme know immediately if it changes, darlin’.”
How could you be so blind? All you could think about was that Angie was right – there was no way Joel Miller wasn’t flirting with you. Maybe he even liked you. Maybe – just maybe – he wanted to kiss you just as much as you wanted to kiss him.
“Didn’t you wanna… get back to the party?”
You didn’t make any move to get away yourself, however, not wanting him to drop the arm with which he was holding your chin. The material of his shirt was bulging over the lines of his biceps, and it felt really nice to stand so close to him.
“I’m in no rush.” Joel’s voice dipped, and your insides tightened. “You?”
“No, but–”
“Here you are, you ol’ fucker!”
Joel took a step back, and you both turned to see his younger brother walking clumsily through the door with a big, drunken grin on his face. You cleared your throat, still breathless and blushed, but both Millers didn’t pay you any mind anymore.
“Tommy.” Joel’s face was like made out of stone, but his eyes were betraying how irritated he was with the interruption.
“You thought you’d manage to get away, ya old dog?” Tommy hooked an arm around his older brother’s shoulders and finally looked at you to send you a wink. “Sorry, sweetheart, gotta borrow ‘im for a second. He has a date to get to.”
It took you a couple of seconds to register that yes, you heard him right. A heavy veil of hurt and disbelief slowly fell down on you, and your eyes started to prickle as you looked from Tommy to Joel.
“A date?”
He had a date. Why then did he talk and act this way with you, making you feel like you ever had a chance with him?
“C’mon, don’t keep a lady waiting,” Tommy said to Joel instead of answering you, and tugged the other man back inside, but Joel didn’t move. “Who knows, maybe you’ll even get lucky tonight!”
That you couldn’t listen to.
Trying to hide how painful his words were to you, you ducked your head and tried to slip past the brothers, desperate to get out of here. A hand – which felt so achingly familiar now – shot out and grabbed your elbow before you could escape. You lifted your tearful eyes only to meet Joel’s sorrowful ones.
“Darlin’, wait. It’s not…”
“No, it’s okay,” you interrupted him, tearing your gaze away. “I wanted to go to the bathroom, anyway.”
Joel looked like he wanted to say something else, but you couldn’t bear being in his and Tommy’s presence any longer. You slipped out of his grasp, quickly coming back inside and navigating your way to the bathrooms.
He had a date for tonight. And still he flirted with you and touched you so lovingly, and… and almost…
Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid! To think you ever had a chance.
You dashed into the bathroom and quickly opened the first free stall you saw, then shut it behind you. There you just slumped against the wall and wrapped your arms around yourself, giving in to the flow of your tears, but trying not to make a sound.
You felt so foolish for letting yourself fall under Joel Miller’s spell, for ignoring that he obviously couldn’t be interested in someone like you.
He probably saw you as a dumb child. No wonder he’d prefer someone else, probably a woman closer to his own age.
But why did he have to be so cruel, to lead you on and hint that…
No, you realized. It was your own damn fault for letting your heart justify his every action towards you.
Almost ten minutes must’ve passed before you got a grip on yourself and decided to go find Angie. You needed to talk to someone, preferably distract yourself from the unpleasant situation you had to experience, and maybe try to salvage the evening somehow. With that in mind you took a couple of breaths, wiped your eyes and then hesitantly exited the bathroom.
You only managed to take a couple of steps, however, before your eyes were drawn to a familiar and beautiful side profile. You wished you didn’t know his face so well, because then you wouldn’t see Joel whispering something to a stunning woman you didn’t know at the far end of the room. She was hanging off his arm, bright eyes and a million-dollars smile directed solely at him. Joel appeared to be looking around, but a few seconds later he put his hand on the small of the woman’s back – just as he did earlier with you – and started walking. Neither of them looked your way before exiting through the front door and leaving the party.
As well as a gaping hole in your heart.
*****
A few minutes later you managed to find Angie. You were a mess at this point, barely able to stop yourself from sobbing. It was truly pathetic.
“I don’t know her name. But I saw them leaving, and she was hanging off his arm and–” you choked on your words and gave a humorless laugh. “God, I’m such an idiot.”
“I’m so sorry, hon.” Angie looked at you sadly. “We can ditch the party if you want. Go to my place and watch some movies,” she suggested gently, but you were already shaking your head.
“No, no. I’m fine, really, I… I think I'll just go home. But you should stay with your girlfriend.” Angie looked like she was about to protest, but you squeezed her hand reassuringly. “I promise I’m okay. I’m just gonna go straight back home and lock myself inside with a bowl of ice-cream. Or go to sleep.”
“I don’t think you should be alone right now.”
“I… I think I need to.” You gave her a weak, sad smile, and stood up. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? You have fun, I don’t want to ruin your night, too.”
“You’re not ruining anythi–”
“I mean… this. All of this stuff with,” you swallowed heavily, “him.”
Angie still seemed unconvinced, but finally nodded after a while. “Alright. But come and get me if you feel worse.”
“I promise. Love you.”
“Love you, too. Take care of yourself, okay?”
You nodded, then went towards the side exit and out into the snowy night without looking back. You didn’t want to stay here and watch as all those happy couples share sweet kisses at midnight, thus reminding you of your heartbreak.
This time you had your coat on, but it was far too thin for this kind of weather. You wrapped it tighter around yourself and hid your hands in the pockets, starting to make your way home. It was a bit far from the main square, but you needed to get away from the music and laughter of the partygoers as quickly as possible.
Alas, you only managed to walk one street away when out of nowhere, a big hand grabbed your elbow, stopping you in your tracks. “Wait.”
You turned around and took a step backwards at the same time, freeing your arm with a strong tug. The words full of anger were ready to spill out of your mouth, but that was until you saw who stood in front of you with a painful expression.
The last person you expected to see here.
“Joel?” You whispered surprisedly and looked around, but there was no one else nearby. Not that strange woman you saw him with, at least. “What are you doing here?”
“I was lookin’ for you,” he rasped between gasps, like he ran all the way here. “You weren’t at the party.”
“Why were you… What are you doing here?” you repeated more coldly, the sight of him only making your fresh heartache so much more noticeable. “I thought you left.”
“M’so sorry.” Joel’s beautiful dark eyes were full of sadness and weariness. “I would have never left you if I could help it, darlin’.”
He took half a step forward and lifted his hand slightly to graze yours with his icy-cold fingertips. You weren’t wearing any gloves either, so his touch sent a jolt up your arm. You looked down at it, but gently moved your hand away. “I don’t understand. Didn’t you have a… date?”
“No.” He sighed and rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. You avoided his eyes and instead watched as snowflakes landed and melted in his hair. “No, it was Tommy… You saw how drunk he was, and he wanted to set me up, insisted on talking to that girl, but I…”
“You should get back to her, then,” you said dryly, really not having strength to even hide how hurtful his mere presence was. You went past him, hiding your neck in your coat. “I don’t want to keep you from–”
“Darlin’, wait.” Joel grabbed your arm again, though still gently and without any force. “Listen, she was nice, but I told her that I can’t get involved in anythin’, because I…” He faltered slightly when you looked him in the eyes, for the first time since your talk on the terrace. “There is… it’s– fuck.” He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, as if gathering courage. “There is someone else,” he finally spoke, his voice almost trembling, and looked at you again, “that I’m madly in love with. And it’s you.”
Through the open door to the party someone shouted what sounded like the time, but it was all happening in the background of your mind. All you could focus on was Joel, standing so close to you and looking almost scared as he waited for your reaction.
Cold crept up your limbs and up to your cheeks while you tried to digest what the hell you just heard, but as if held by the invisible force of his gaze, you couldn’t move an inch.
“...what?”
“I… really, really like you,” Joel whispered, his dark and sad eyes drilling into your unbelieving ones. “I went to this party just to see you, darlin’. And I’d never chose to spend the evenin’ with anyone else but you. I’m so sorry I left you like that and…”
He then gulped and very slowly lifted his hand to your face, not fully cupping your cheek but hovering just above it. He searched your eyes, but when you didn’t back away, he touched your skin carefully, and an involuntary sigh escaped you as your eyes fluttered closed.
You never thought one could be touched with such care and fondness. No one has ever treated you like that before, like you were made of the most precious glass.
“You can tell me to fuck off,” Joel whispered, and you opened your eyes to find his face a little closer than before. “I just thought that maybe… if you would maybe, too…”
He was getting flustered again, and it was the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen. It must’ve been close to midnight now, because you noticed that the music stopped and the racket inside the building was at its peak, though it was hard to distinguish the words people were shouting when your heartbeat was almost deafening in your ears.
“But I saw you leaving with that woman.” You had to make sure you were on the same page with him before you did something idiotic. Again. “You aren’t…?”
“No,” Joel breathed a quiet chuckle and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, while his eyes danced across your face. “It’s only ever been you, darlin’.”
Then he must’ve heard something – his head turned to the side to look at where the party was still going on, before his eyes returned to you, and you felt his thumb swiping your cheek in an oh, so tender manner.
“May I?” he asked in a whisper, so close that his breath skimmed your parted lips. You hoped he was asking about what you thought, but this time wasn’t brave enough to ask and clarify.
So you just nodded.
And Joel leaned in, without any hurry, and kissed you.
It was fitting, you supposed, that only a couple of seconds later the clock chimed midnight, and shrieks of laughter and cheers filled the air while the people still present at the party celebrated loudly. You couldn’t care less, however, because in that moment, your entire world was Joel. His – still cold – hand caressed your scorching cheek, and the other found its place on your hip. The smell of him, the warmth with which his body radiated, and the feeling of his lips, rougher in touch than you’ve imagined, but still soft in movement – all of it together was almost overwhelming.
You parted after a while with blissful sighs, though didn’t move away – Joel still held you close, his forehead pressed to yours, and eyes shut tightly, as if he was in pain. He took a trembling breath when you touched his jaw with your icy fingers.
“Tell me to stop,” he pleaded in a murmur, taking you aback. “Sugar, if you don’t… Please, tell me to stop.”
You shook your head and held onto him tighter before he even finished.
“Please, don’t stop.”
Your lips clashed again, tongues meeting and dancing together, and it was the closest you’ve ever felt to any type of heaven in this cruel, forsaken world. Joel pulled you flush against him and kissed you again, more forcefully this time, tangling his fingers in your hair. You let out an involuntary moan, but his mouth swallowed the sound immediately, not giving you a split second of respite.
“I wanted to do it a year ago,” Joel muttered between the kisses, before he took your face in his hands to look you in the eyes properly. He smiled, that same adorable and boyish smile, when he saw how breathless and flushed you were. “Wanted to kiss you so much, sugar, but,” he obviously fought back a laugh at this point, his eyes crinkling, “you got wasted and puked your guts out just before midnight.”
“Oh my god.” You didn’t know he saw it, particularly the moment when all the alcohol you consumed a year ago refused to stay in your stomach. “I wasn’t– I don’t usually… I got drunk ‘cause I saw Sheryll kissing you on the cheek,” you admitted with embarrassment, feeling your skin growing even hotter. “I thought you and her were together at that point…”
“But why did you get drunk because of it, sweet girl?” Joel mused, brushing his nose against yours and obviously teasing you. You snorted and shook your head.
“You know why.”
“I want to hear it from you.”
You playfully pushed him away lightly, but he tightened his grip around you, not letting you step away.
“You’re an asshole sometimes,” you whispered, making Joel chuckle. “Fine. I really wanted to kiss you, too. Happy?”
He smiled and kissed you again, softly and passionately this time, cradling your cheek in his palm.
“Very,” he whispered against your lips and dragged his nose up to plant a kiss on your forehead. “Very much, baby.”
Your heart fluttered with joy at his affectionate tone. Joel pulled away, his hands leaving your body to cover your own, situated on his jaw and arm.
“Now, what do you say we head back inside?” he asked with a disarming smile, brushing your knuckles with his thumbs. “And maybe you’ll let me ask you for a dance?”
You didn’t give an answer, but the joyous kiss you pressed to his lips – which, with your enthusiasm, almost made both of you topple over into the snow – spoke for itself.
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etherealily · 1 month
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𝙒𝙃𝙄𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙎𝙃 // Nate Jacobs.
Nate Jacobs + Fem!reader. Dark. SFW, but discretion advised.
Part 2 : 9 Lives
Part 3 : Blessed
You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.
Desc.: You're needed. Now.
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It's not like you even knew Nate.
You knew of him, sure, quarterback and shit, but still, it was unlikely your paths would ever cross.
Until they did.
Until he started following you on Instagram.
That shit... was so unbelievably odd that you almost blocked him because you thought it was a fake account. But then you saw the mutuals. Holy shit. This was legit.
The fact that his account was private didn't surprise you. Yours was public because you had nothing to post and his was private because he had everything to hide.
You sent him a request. No biggie. I mean, he had to accept, right? He was the one who followed you first - it was only fair. And if it took too long, then you could always unsend it, yeah? Yeah.
It didn't take too long. It barely took three minutes.
Okay. Cool. Weird but cool.
The next day at school, it was normal. You didn't acknowledge him, and he didn't acknowledge you. An average social media interaction. Good.
--------
Come Friday evening, you decided that watching Maddy cheer was a little less important than your deadline and building your portfolio.
She absolutely supported you (rolled her eyes and said 'whatever, nerd. You still love me, right?') but was a little upset about it (pouted and called you a cunt).
Three hours went by, and you surprised yourself with the amount of work you were getting done. This is great. Friday evening well spent. Work a bit more, and then-
Nate Jacobs tagged you in a Close Friends story.
Close Friends? Tagged? NATE JACOBS?
Okay, one : no fucking way were you on his Close Friends.
Two : there were virtually zero pictures of the two of you, so tagging you was moot.
Three : there was supposed to be a game starting about fifteen minutes from now, Blackhawks versus whatever pretentious team they were going to beat, so why the fuck was he even online?
(Oh, yeah, the Blackhawks were absolutely fucking awesome.)
The story was only text. Text and nothing more.
Y/N, accept my message request. Now. I am not fucking around.
What message request? WHAT the fuck was going on?
You frowned, immediately scrolling over to messages. Shit. There was a request.
A picture, along with six other messages.
This was so strange. It was especially strange that he found the time to text you, when he was supposed to be practicing throwing the old pigskin around for the victory of his school. But text you he did. As if him following you wasn't enough to give you whiplash. "Yo."
"You're not here." No shit, Sherlock.
"You should be."
What the hell was that supposed to mean? This was the most excruciatingly awkward interaction you'd ever had.
"You should be here. Come."
Did he think he was super macho with all this mysterious, vague, one-word bullshit he was spewing? You know what, you'd actually bet your entire school tuition he did. But you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of asking why.
"U don't just send requests to random people. Don't act like you don't know me. Don't ignore my texts."
"I'm fucking losing it. Come now or else."
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
This was the most random thing to ever happen to you. Nate Jacobs, some random jock you never even said one word to, was texting you as if you had been best friends since two years old and you had always been all rah-rah-go-team for him.
You were almost scared to open the picture. Instagram asked you if you were sure. Once, twice. You should have listened. But you didn't, and you were about to face the consequences.
Red. That was the first thing you saw, and the first thing that had ever grossed you out enough to physically throw your phone away.
So much red.
Above the red, concealed almost cruelly, was a black box with white text in it. For a moment, your eyes were overwhelmed, so overwhelmed with the monstrosity in front of you that you couldn't even begin to comprehend what the words meant. You picked your phone back up, squinting your eyes and blocking out the rest.
He must have noticed you accepted his request, because you saw 'Typing...' pop up way too fast for him not to have been waiting.
"I'll cut deeper if you don't show up."
Nate Jacobs was a cruel and manipulative bastard of a man who you would happily let die.
But not like this.
════════════════════ ⋆⋅🏈⋅⋆ ═══════════════════
You glanced at the screen and then back at the road, from time to time. There was no indication that he was typing. The 'online' sign still stayed. Okay. So he either just threw his phone away while still on your chat or he was about to-
Nate Jacobs started an audio call.
Clearly tonight wasn't going to be the night you stayed in and finished all your assignments, like you'd decided.
"Pick up or I'll fucking kill you."
Yup, that sounded about right.
You laughed, incredulously. The genuine threat wasn't lost on you, but what else does one do in this situation besides laugh at the absurdity of it all?
Better safe than sorry. You swiped up.
"Y/N, please just come."
It felt so weird to hear him say your name. It felt even weirder to hear him say 'please'.
"Why?"
"You need to be here." His voice was unwavering.
"Look, Jacobs, I'm sorry, but I have projects and assignments to work on. Not to mention, my portfolio-"
You wanted to see how far you could take it. He couldn't hear your car's sounds, and he couldn't possibly track your location, so according to him, you were still sitting at home, petulantly.
If he was joking, he'd just cuss you out drunkenly. If he wasn't, he'd... keep begging.
"Jesus fuck, Y/N, just come!"
"I can't. I'm sorry."
Keeping your calm was the best thing you'd ever done for yourself, the greatest form of self-care you could give yourself, because Nate Jacobs sensing nervousness was like sharks smelling blood in the water. Quick and bad.
"I have important shit, too, you know? Scouts are here, Y/N, please!"
"Look-"
"Coach, I know, just five more minutes - FUCK, Y/N, you gotta come.", he pleaded, his tone becoming far too pathetic to brush off.
"Why?"
"Why? Whaddayamean why?", he huffed out, frustrated, as if you were supposed to know this already.
2 + 2. What galaxy we live in. The colour of the sky. Why you were needed at the game. According to this asshole, all these things were common knowledge.
"I will cut deeper."
"Stop bullshitting, Jacobs."
You hoped to god that your voice didn't betray your bewilderment. This better be a sick fucking joke.
"I'm cutting."
"Stop."
"Coach says the five minutes are up, but I won't play without you here."
A video. SHIT. FUCK.
"What the fuck is your problem?!"
Actually, no. This better not just be a joke, because if the entire school was in on this shit, you would end up cutting him.
The grunts of pain and sharp inhales from his side of the call got more and more grotesque as you pulled into the school parking lot.
The school had an unsettling vibrancy to it after hours, and this was only exacerbated by the fact that you were supposedly the cause for a boy to slice through his own skin. It shouldn't have seemed this vibrant, this overwhelming, this vivid, this.... bright, but it did. The world moved at an eerily quick pace, like a carnival ride on LSD.
As you ran across the parking lot and gripped the gate to the stadium and basically swung right past it, you finally realized how fucking loud a crowd could be.
It was like they knew that their QB might be bleeding out because of you, because they seemed to scream loud enough to torture you for eternity.
Immediately manhandled by Chris McKay -another jock you had absolutely no connection to, but who seemed to have a very personal grudge against you-, you were pushed out of the locker rooms as quickly as you came in. Fuck's sake.
"Let me go , McKay!"
"Coach is trying to calm him down, and if he sees you, we got no idea what he might do, okay? OKAY?", he ordered, sternly, through clenched teeth as he shook your shoulders.
He was earnestly trying to be calm and gentle, but his fingers gripping harder and harder into your arms did jackshit to help his case.
"Okay."
He nodded, sighing in some emotion that seemed oddly like relief.
What, did he expect more of a fight? Did he expect you to be all 'no, I gotta see him now?'
You had no clue who the hell this bastard was, let alone what he wanted. No way were you going to kick and shout for him.
"What the fuck is his problem?", you asked, sighing against McKay's chest, exhausted.
He shrugged, rubbing his forehead in exasperation. "He's stressed about the game."
"So he cuts himself in my name? We don't even know each other, dude!"
"Okay, he isn't exactly the one you go to for rationality, alright?"
"Yo, the fuck's going on, man? The game was supposed to start-"
The other team's captain.
"Yeah, we're just, uh, dealing with a situation over here.", assured McKay, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from going ballistic at Nate. Or you. Most likely Nate. But even more likely you. "Tell your coach we're so sorry, and we'll be out in a minute, tops."
The other guy scoffed, grumbling as he stomped away, glaring more at you than McKay. What, did everyone know now?
"He thinks we're trying to hook up before the game.", explained McKay, patiently, almost embarrassed. "It's a thing some athletes do, 'for luck'."
Jocks were the weirdest fucking aliens to ever exist.
════════════════════ ⋆⋅🏈⋅⋆ ═══════════════════
Crimson traced paths through the blinding white of the bandages wrapped tightly like dependent vines around his palm. Noticing the lack of uniformity of white, Coach tsked. "We need more. McKay!"
"Yes, Coach?"
"One more, then you can send her in."
"She came?" Nate's voice, though feeble and exhausted - and now, hopeful - was heard through the tiny gap in the door that McKay made sure would remain tiny as he passed the last bandage to him, and you didn't want to admit it, but it broke your heart.
Ew. Nate Jacobs was breaking your heart?
Coach finished wrapping Nate up, and McKay guided you in, with both measured aggression and protectiveness.
Nate's eyes lifted and brightened up immensely, a feat you'd only thought possible by a lone spark igniting and breaching every inch of a dry leaf.
"You came."
"Son, I don't know what the hell you were thinking-"
"No, no, Coach, she's here, we can play."
Everyone stopped breathing at that moment. What the hell did the self-wounding quarterback asshole just say?
"What'd you just say, Jacobs?"
"We can play. Y/N's here. This isn't my good palm, anyway, so it's fine. Let's go."
And just like that, Nate was back. The amount of theses that could be written on this sheer anomaly of a man, the amount of studies that could be conducted, the amount of shock anyone else in this situation would go through- all unheard of.
No one else could handle it, though, besides all the people right there in the room. The best friend : self-taught and well-versed in handling him, the Coach : the authority figure that could calm him down with a bunch of fatherly words and....
And you : no one knew what the fuck you brought to the table. But something told you no one else would have survived in your shoes.
"Alright... then...?" Even Coach was absolutely speechless.
Nate nodded briskly, shooting up with a sudden burst of energy as he smiled at you.
Smiled.
Ladies and gentlemen : Nate Jacobs was on crack, confirmed.
He drew you in against his chest with an extremely unprecedented jerk, and you locked eyes with McKay behind him as he did so.
Not crack. Probably fent.
Your questioning gaze- which obviously said 'what in the everloving fuck is he doing?' - was met with a shrug and a look which suggested he barely even recognized his best friend right now.
"Okay, let's go WIN this motherfucker!", shouted Nate, patting your shoulder and loudly clapping his hands together before sprinting out of the locker rooms into the cheering football field.
It was dressed entirely in Blackhawk colours and bathed in a fluorescent, sickeningly pale light that you had to now spend an hour and a half in. Ugh.
Whiplash or not, you were about to throw up.
════════════════════ ⋆⋅🏈⋅⋆ ═══════════════════
You know those moments after a surreal event? When you just... sit. Stare into space and... ruminate.
You were having one of those in your car. The game had ended, really well, too, with the Blackhawks winning by a landslide. Your windshield had never held such secrets before. You stared through it.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Bang.
You turned. Nate Jacobs' fist fell on your window more times than you thought was necessary. 'Unlock the door, Y/N.'
You shook your head. Not a fucking chance in hell.
"'Y/N, don't be difficult, unlock the fucking door."
Something in you told you that that would be the worst mistake of your entire life.
"I'm sorry, I just want to talk, yeah?"
You had no idea if he deliberately made it a point to rest his bandaged palm on the window in full display to manipulate you, or if it was just a coincidence.
Just a coincidence, right?
You sighed, nodding your head in the direction of the passenger's seat as you unlocked it. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
He slid in, grinning as he shut the door.
"You catch the touchdown?"
"Yeah. I did."
"What'd you think? Smoothest match yet?"
"Sure."
His grin gave way to a lour as he scoffed. "Why are you so cold? Our school won."
"Why am I so cold? Why am I so cold? You asshole, you just cut yourself to make me show up!"
"Because you didn't show up when I asked nicely!"
"You're a psychopath." The effect of this word on him was oddly intriguing. He seemed to both be offended by it and seemed to get off on it.
"Can I just explain?", he sighed, sucking on his teeth for a moment as he watched other students, cheering, whistling, hooting and drinking, through your windshield.
You gestured at him to continue. He wasn't worthy enough of your words.
"You know athletes have...", he trailed off, searching desperately for the right word of vindication.
"Small dicks?"
"Okay, deserved.", he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Look, we have, like... superstitions, sometimes. For luck."
"Like the hooking up thing."
"How do you know about that?"
"McKay told me."
He scoffed, shaking his head as if his friend had divulged the biggest secret, as if he had broken some moral code.
"Alright, fine, whatever. But, uh, I pretend like it's not something I do, but I kinda have them too."
If he was about to say what he was going to, you were about to press into the wound just to watch him bleed again. How dare he.
"My, um, my first game, I bumped into you on my way to the locker rooms.", he admitted, clearing his throat as if to clear space for whatever he was going to say - because it was so obviously the solution to String Theory, like he was making it out to be.
But oh, shit. He actually was going to say it.
"And we won. The next game, I did the same again, by accident. Y'know, just, this time, I fist-bumped you."
"When the fuck did you-"
"You were drunk, and you were cheering all of us on with your friends. You went for McKay's fist, but I did it instead. Uh, yeah, anyway. So, from the... maybe fourth? Yeah, the fourth game, I made it a point to at least brush my arm past you. Haven't lost a game since."
Your touch was his good luck charm? Was he clinically insane? Or was he just a massive loser?
"What's next? Our rising signs are aligned?"
"It's not a fucking joke, Y/N!", he snapped, his fist clenching.
"Really? Because it's pretty fucking hilarious."
"You know how hard it was for me to even admit I had superstitions, let alone about some random nobody girl I've never even talked to?"
No, no, he was not trying to make you feel bad, no goddamn way.
"You know how hard it was for me to see some random nobody guy bleeding out because of me?"
"It wasn't that deep." The pun was intended. It was so evidently intended that you wanted to slap the smirk off his lips.
"Yeah, okay, get out."
"Okay. You better show up to the next one, babygirl, or I'll have to take more drastic measures."
The audacious son of a bitch ruffled your hair and winked before he left.
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"C'mon, Y/N, don't be a cunt. Just do it. High five me. Fist bump me. Hug me. Whatever. Just do it, I've got a game to get to. And... everyone's watching."
The very next weekend, there was another game. Last game of the season. And you were supposed to be there, of course, because Nate's 'entire life depended on it.' And what's worse? He'd dragged you there, from your internship.
That's right. He'd basically come to your place of work, interrupted a conversation with your boss, and tugged you along with him because of his borderline insane obsession with having to touch you for luck.
He could have gotten away with it, too, if his 'good luck charm' theory hadn't involved you having to make contact with him right before the game.
And now you were out there on the field. Backing away from him. Refusing.
"Y/N, please."
"Fine."
You slapped him across the face, as hard as you possibly could.
The entire football field gasped.
He'd fucked up your week with the picture of the blade carving into his skin, and now, he was fucking up your career by costing you your internship. And what's worse, he didn't even care.
"Go. Play now."
He clenched his jaw, closing his eyes to suppress his rage before he opened them again. "That's not how it works. It has to be mutual. Like a fist bump. Or bumping into each other."
"Oh, okay.", you shrugged, grabbing his wrist before using it to uppercut him. "NOW go. PLAY."
You didn't know if you were being 'whoo'd or 'boo'd by the crowd, but at this point, the only thing you could hear was the red hot fury in your boiling blood.
He bit his lip as you let go of his hand, and before he jogged out onto the field, you could have sworn he said something that, if you'd heard it right, could cut through your entire soul and ruin your self-perception for years - something absolutely, shatteringly degrading.
You hoped you'd heard wrong.
Taking your seat in the stands, you scrolled on your phone, ignoring the entire fucking game. As expected, text from your team leader.
Gone. Internship gone. LoR gone. Nate Jacobs? About to be gone.
-------
He won.
He. Fucking. Won.
And that smirk that he gave you before blowing you a kiss that immediately morphed into flipping you the bird made you want to genuinely ask him to recreate that video once again.
You hated yourself for it, but yes.
You wanted him dead.
All the trauma he'd given you the past week couldn't be left unpunished.
Oh, to knock him off his pedestal. OH, to be the one to make him scream in pain instead of arrogant mirth.
"Whoo! Nate FUCKING Jacobs, baby!", he cheered in your ear as you gritted your teeth, walking back to your car. "And, of course, you."
You threw your bags into your car, ignoring him as you get in, starting the engine. He thumped on the hood of the car. "Come on, you can't still be mad! Your boss was looking down your shirt, anyway!"
"Oh, and I'm supposed to believe you did this out of the goodness of your heart?", you scoffed.
"That's right, baby, chivalry ain't dead."
"No, but you're about to be. Get the fuck out of my way."
"Hey, I need a ride. Gimme a lift."
"No chance in hell, Jacobs."
"Stop wounding me. Let me in."
"Or what?"
"I'll break your window.", he shrugged, casually. Normal things. The sun will rise tomorrow. Seasons will change. He'll break your window.
"I wouldn't be letting you in if I didn't think you were psychotic enough to actually do that."
He chuckled, sitting as he rested his duffel bag on his lap. A couple moments later, he looked up at you. "What? What are you waiting for?"
"Tell me where to go."
"You don't know where I live?"
"Okay, let me explain this to you, slowly. I didn't know jackshit about you till, like, a week ago. I didn't know your age or what kind of car you drove, or even what classes we shared, much less where the hell you live!"
"All this shit just proves that you don't observe people around you. You only care about yourself."
"If I only cared about myself, you'd have bled out last week."
He sighed playfully, resting his feet on your dashboard because he very evidently knew you would have a neurotic breakdown. "I, for one, know your age, the kind of car you drive, all the classes you have, plus your favourite colour and food."
"The first two are moot.", you replied, ignoring his silent mockery of the word 'moot'. "Next, you know I'm in all of Maddy's classes. And the rest you can find on my account. Account stalker."
"Account stalker. God, sweetheart, you're such a child. You don't want your account stalked, don't have a public one."
"I barely even post anything!"
"Oh, yeah, what about last month?"
He was looking at your profile last month? "I'd gone to France. It was a photo dump."
"It was unnecessary."
"Okay, you know what this is?"
He raised a brow.
"This is post-game audacity, is what I call it. You won. You're Mr. Big Shot, so you think you can just-"
And that's when Nate Jacobs kissed you.
To call it the worst fucking moment of your life would be a massive understatement. "Drive."
"You did not just fucking kiss me."
"You want me to do it again?"
"NO."
"Then drive."
This motherfucking bastard of a man!
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"You wanna come in?"
No way in hell were you going into Nate Jacobs' house. Especially when there was a party going strong.
"I'm good."
He rolled his eyes, his arm leaning on the top of the window as he leaned in. "I don't bite. Initially."
"Ooh, you don't bite initially, oh, please let me come in right now! Shut up and get in, Jacobs."
"You've earned the right to call me Nate. Congrats. Begin using it."
"Why? We're never talking after this."
He scoff-snickered. "Oh. OH, so that's how it is.", he nodded, amused.
"Yeah, yeah, that's how it is."
He guffawed, banging on the hood of your car. "This ain't funny anymore. Come in."
"What? No."
"Is there really only one way to ask you to do something?"
"No, Jacobs, don't you dar-"
But he didn't listen. When did he ever? His fingers emerged from his pocket with his knife in tow. NOT AGAIN. This was the most cunning, calculating, manipulative, Machiavellian-
"I'm cutting. This time, my wrist."
"You're so fucking dumb, y'know that? You're psychopathic."
The grin on his face showed that you were wrong. He wasn't offended. He was 100% getting off on it.
Drops of blood reached the floor, and you realized you couldn't just drive off and leave this guy here - he'd probably still be cutting just to prove a point.
"I hope you die.", you mumbled, getting out of your car and slamming the door.
"I'm trying, dude!", he laughed, pointing at his wrist. Oh, this sick bastard.
"Not dressing that wound?"
"C'mon, blood is sexy. Badass."
Nate Jacobs was about to see how 'badass' blood could really get.
And when you were done beating the everloving shit out of him, you kissed him. Because he deserved to know how infuriating that shit was, too.
The next day at school, it was normal. You didn't acknowledge him, and he didn't acknowledge you.He didn't seem to care about the fact that you hit him so hard he almost had a concussion. An average social media interaction. Good.
How it should be.
But then he texted you.
Fuck.
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lovelytsunoda · 8 months
Text
hounds of love // yuki tsunoda
summary: yuki is in love…aka, the yuki soft launch <3
pairing: yuki tsunoda x normal girl! reader
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yukitsunoda just added to his story!
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yukitsunoda just posted to his story!
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yukitsunoda just posted!
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liked by yourusername, pierregasly, liamlawson30 and others
yukitsunoda we did the monster mash
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user yuki stop wth the soft launching we wanna see her!!
user I bet she’s so fucking pretty-
danielricciardo so what kind of monster mash were you doing?? did it involve a bed or a jukebox (or both)?
-> user LMAO DANNY U KNOW UR COMMENTS R PUBLIC RIGHT?
-> user oh he defo knows, hes just trying to work yuki up
->user what do you know that we don’t!!
liamlawson30 so can you tell her to bring some of those cinnamon rolls next time she’s in the paddock? they were to die for and genuinely I hope you guys never break up simply because I don’t think I could live without her baking
-> yukitsunoda I will tell her that! I also hope we don’t break up (she still has so many recipes to teach me)
user yuki and liam going on about mystery girls baking skills is SENDING ME
-> user oh you know they eat well in that house
yukitsunoda just updated his story!
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yukitsunoda just posted!
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liked by yourusername, alphataurif1, liamlawson30 and others
yukitsunoda always ❤️
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user NOT HIM LINKING IT BACK TO THE SONG HE FIRST HSED TO SOFT LAUNCH IM GONNA CRY
yourusername I love you baby 💕
pierregasly welp i guess the cats out of the bag now
-> yukitsunoda if I had never left you alone in the same room as my phone nobody would know what she looks like and this wouldn’t have happened straightaway
-> user lmao not Pierre spoiling the soft launch
liamlawson30 so can you send me the cinnamon roll recipe?
-> yourusername no you’ll ruin it. but I will gladly bring a Tupperware container to the next race
-> alphataurif1 but what if admin wants the recipe? 🥺
-> user damn how good are these cinnamon rolls?
-> danielricciardo better than sex. by a LONG SHOT
user what kind of sorcery did he use to pull her?
-> yukitsunoda i was like the stray cat following her home and eventually she took pity on me
-> yourusername LMAO no we met through a mutual friend, someone who does martial arts with my sister is embedded in the racing world
danielricciardo aw you guys are too cute! and don’t worry yourusername, i promise I’ll take care of him next season ❤️
TAGS
@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @clemswrld @httpiastri @twinkodium @lorarri @thatsdemko @scuderiamh @oconso @cartierre @silversainz @thatsdemko
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ncteez · 1 year
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Give & Take (l.s)
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It’s not weird that you and your roommate do certain things that others would consider, um, strange. It’s not weird because you don’t make it weird, and he certainly doesn’t go out of his way to make a big deal either. 
or the one where you and your roommate masturbate together casually until it becomes not so casual, and maybe neither of you can do it at this point without wanting more.
ao3 | m.list | reblog to give seokmin a boner 
minors dni!! 
WORDCOUNT― 6.6k
PAIRING― seokmin x afab reader 
CONTENT― roommate au, roommates to lovers
NOTE― This is dedicated to @onlyseokmins and that’s all I have to say about this. (i’m a liar i actually want this man so bad so here’s my need for him in fic form and also a direct attack on elv.) not proof read.
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags― big dick seokmin, mutual masturbation, pining, desperate stuff i guess, pretending he’s fucking you instead of his hand,  just the tip moment, unprotected sex, he pulls out bc he’s polite. ~
Moving in with Seokmin was a no-brainer. Both of you were freshly graduated from the same college and starting new jobs in the same city hours away from home. Seeing a familiar face in a city of bustling businesses and loud streets was a welcome comfort for you, living with that familiar face only made it easier. 
It wouldn’t be a lie to say that back during the college days, you and Seokmin weren’t close. Not until your senior year together that the two of you somehow met in the middle with a single class despite the drastically different majors. He took it as an elective, yours was the last “easy” class to get through before graduation, because maybe your advisor fucked up and never told you it was necessary to take, and maybe you were a little mad about it. 
You became less mad as you helped Seokmin through his struggles. An elective for him was a career for you, so it was easy to walk him through it. You grew close within the stress of senior year so of course, when you found out he was moving to the same city that you’re moving to, you instantly jumped into action in trying to convince him to save money by living together with you. 
It’s a big city, and while you both had jobs lined up, it’s not like the pay was enough for one person to afford an apartment in the heart of the city. Thankfully, he didn’t need to be swayed and it only took a few weeks for the two of you to head out and explore the apartments offered, landing on one that leaves an equal distance both of you would need to travel to work. One that only costs some seven hundred and fifty dollars a month each (a hefty amount for just one person.) 
By now, it’s been about six months since the two of you settled here in the heart of a great city. Work has been going smoothly despite the tired nights when the two of you meet up outside (because somehow you both clock out at the same time too) and decide on whether you want to walk to a shop for dinner or fight over who is gonna put the nuggets in the oven this time. 
Things were normal for the most part, you think, regarding roommates anyway. There is one thing that’s changed though. Not your fondness of him, not even the way you look at him when he’s being annoying and loud while singing in the shower. 
It started about two months into living in this space with him. He must have lost track of the time that day because he knew your schedule then and still knows it now like the back of his hand. He took the day off, feigning sickness after a long Sunday of doing absolutely nothing and wanting to extend it just a bit longer through the following Monday. You worked that day, of course, you did. You came home on time as you always did too, except this time you didn’t come home to him in his room or cooking dinner. 
It was a weird kind of rush, wondering how the fuck this could be happening as you stood at your doorway to find him exposing more of himself than you ever expected or wanted to see at the time. There, on the couch was your dope of a roommate, legs spread wide and length in hand. On the tv played nothing, but his phone was propped on his thigh as he stared down at it with deep sighs. 
You were frozen at that moment, watching him and feeling your cheeks warm up. You didn’t know if you should turn to leave, make a noise so he stops, or just watch. Somehow, you found yourself not wanting to disturb him. Was it because you liked what you saw? At the time, you would have said absolutely not. But seeing how it is now, it’s more common than not to see him orgasm, it’s kind of laughable.
On that day, he must have felt someone watching him because mid-stroke he looked up at you and fumbled his pants back over his length. Muffling apologies with raspy whispers, skin glistening on his forehead indicating he must’ve been at it for a while, and you were just standing there silent. 
That night, you laid in your bed wondering why you couldn’t get that image out of your head. Seeing him like that wasn’t something you ever thought about despite how handsome he is. He’s your friend, he’s your roommate. You can’t stop thinking now though, about how big he is in all of his entirety. From his height to his– yeah. 
It went on like that for about two weeks. You, not able to get that image out of your head and him, acting as normal as ever as if it never happened. It wasn’t until the end of that two-week time span that you realized you enjoyed it. Like you would have liked to have seen him finish. 
It swam in your brain for a while, wondering if you should bring it up or if you should push past it and find some guy to meet up with just to work out the horny energy, after all, it’s not like you know anyone in this city well enough to have an intimate relationship with. No one besides Seokmin anyway. Dilemmas, dilemmas. 
Not so much a dilemma though, to your pleasure. It’s brought up one night on a Saturday as the two of you say at the kitchen table complaining about work. Minutes passed, then an hour passed and he suggested having a drink to wind down. You accepted, sipping the alcohol he so proudly made for you. 
It felt warm in the apartment by that point, but you didn’t mind as you found your brain falling back to that image of him. You thought he might be wearing the same shirt that we was wearing that day, which is kind of detrimental for your fogging brain. But, he brings it up. 
“You know, you’ve been kind of weird since that day.” He commented, running his fingers along the rim of his glass. “I really did lose track of time, and I can’t stop feeling embarrassed by it.”
You could see a softer side of him at that moment. Out of how long you’ve known him by now, never once have you seen him embarrassed. 
“About that,” You started, not able to look him in the eye. “I was shocked but–” 
The way he looked at you at that moment was difficult to process. It was new ground for both of you. 
“I think I liked it?”
~
The tip-toeing around each other didn’t last as long as you expected it to. After the talk you had with him on that Saturday night, somehow the two of you ended up doing the very thing that had you in a rut in the first place.
You got to watch him in full, working himself up until he suggested you join, that maybe he’d be into it too. Saying that he felt weird being the only one, though he didn’t mind that you were watching. You don’t know what got into you that night, maybe it was the alcohol, but you did join him. A full five feet away from each other but shamelessly watching hand movements until orgasm. You noted him holding off too, until you got there. It was an interesting dynamic, truly. 
And now, six months into living with him, it’s become a normal occurrence. After every hard day at work, “wanna get off with me?”, after every long movie session or board game loss, “wanna watch each other come?”, to the point that now it’s nearing every day. Any self-fuck session became a shared one. 
Sometimes he even texts you from his room late at night. It’s like you know his jerk-off schedule more than your own work schedule by now. Sometimes, you don’t even touch yourself but instead, enjoy watching him get there with a little help from you, taking off your shirt or spreading your legs. It’s become a thing. And somehow, it’s not as weird as it should be. 
“You got plans this weekend?” Seokmin bellows through a yawn from his room after hearing your alarm go off. 
“Since when do I ever have plans?” You say through your own yawn after pulling yourself out of the bed. You tiptoe the few feet from your door to his, leaning against it and scratching the back of your neck. “Why?”
He stretches loud and obnoxiously before rolling over and planting his face into his pillows. 
“Wanna skip out on work today?” 
You step into his room, throwing yourself on top of him with a tired groan. 
“Yeah,” You sigh out, closing your eyes and fully aware that you could go back to sleep right now despite this uncomfortable position over your roommate. “but why?”
His voice is muffled more by the pillows when he answers you, mostly because your body weight is pressing him further down. He fights to turn his head away from the pillow, takes in a deep breath from the brief smothering, and smiles. 
“I dunno, we haven’t really had a chance to go out and explore the city much outside of furniture and grocery shopping.” 
You realize that he’s right. You’ve heard talk of the malls in this area, of the theme parks, the museums. There’s so much to do here, and neither of you have really attempted to do any of it. 
“Starting today, because we are going to skip work,” He narrows his eyes as he lifts his body up and forces you to roll off of him. “You are going to skip, right?”
You nod, waiting for him to continue what he was originally going to say. 
“We should go out and explore. Rent is paid already, fridge is full, I saved up a bit so we could go do some stuff.”
It flies right past your head. You don’t even stop to think that he saved up to do this with you, and instead you simply nod with a smile before hopping off of him and rolling off of the bed to your feet.
“Guess I should call my boss.” You shrug, starting to leave the room. 
“Wanna sleep a little more first? Kind of dumb to skip out on work and not sleep in.”
You nod again, yawning and looking down at your phone to search for your workplace number. Thankfully, after calling, there was no issue with you skipping work today. After all, you haven’t really missed a single day since you started (unlike some people: seokmin.)
~
Friday was eventful, the two of you walked to all of the shops closest to your apartment, stepping into a cafe and having some coffee, then went to a pristine shopping district and scoffed together at the price of a pair of socks. 
By the time you got home, you were just as tired as you would have been coming home from work, and he was still bouncing on his feet. Drinks, dinner, sleep. 
No casual masturbation that day.
On Saturday, it started much the same except this time the two of you went to a mall. Why he kept insisting on buying you cute panties and matching bras? You know the answer. You’re kind of part of his porn collection now, and he is part of yours too. Maybe he considered it a little too hard when you also suggested he get a cute pair of panties to wear. He didn’t though, and instead bought you like six too-expensive sets of lingerie. Each color to match whatever horny brain he’s in, you assume. 
That night, the two of you ate at a restaurant and took a taxi back home. Sitting beside him on the couch, a question started floating in your brain and by now you knew better than to keep these kinds of things to yourself given the dynamic you have with him.
“You know, you’re buying me all of this sexy stuff–” 
“I am, yeah.” He smiles proudly, eyes crinkling as his eyes shoot to the bag on the kitchen table. 
“Why aren’t you just going out to meet someone instead of settling with jerking off all the time?”
He doesn’t even hesitate.
“That’s a lot of work, why would I do that when you’re right here?”
Why would he do that if you’re here? 
“Why, you getting bored of me?” He jokes, leaning against you and nudging your shoulder. “Should I have bought those panties to spice it up a bit?”
God, it’s so weird how normal this is. No touching each other, only looking. Desperate looking at that, searing eyes, extremely hot orgasms, wobbling legs, and then sleeping alone. Would it really be so strange at this point to want to touch him? To want to spice it up not with panties, but with the act of actually feeling how warm he is? 
“Oh no.” He pauses, eyes widening. “You actually wanted me to wear those?”
“No!” You laugh, though it would’ve maybe awoken something in you, you’re not sure. “I just figured you know, it’s not like you wouldn’t be able to go get laid.”
He stares are you before throwing out another joke. 
“I know that.” He laughs, turning to face you. “It’s not like it would be hard for you either. Why aren’t you out and about instead of sitting in front of me and touching yourself?”
You freeze at his words, realizing that so many times it’s been silent sessions together save for moaning. He’s never actually said those words to you, never dirty talked, never crossed an invisible line while it happened. 
“Would you prefer I go find someone else?” You avoid the feeling in your gut right now only briefly, staring him down.
“No, I’d honestly prefer you touch yourself for me and only me.” 
Oh. Oh fucking no. 
“That’s all you need to be satisfied?” 
He smiles proudly again, eyes flicking back over to the bag and you shake your head at him. 
“We need to wash those before I wear them so you’re gonna have to deal with the boring panties I wore today, I guess.”
He nods, already following suit on the regular list of things he does when this happens. 
It’s always so quiet, and never did it bother you until now. Watching him do nothing but grab his length and squeeze it until it starts to harden. Eyes on you as you do your own version of working yourself up, hand down your waist band and simply touching and rubbing until you feel the first sensation of your gut flipping.
“Seokmin.” You start, looking at him through narrow eyes. This is enough for you, but…is it?
“Hm?” He responds, eyes focused on the movement under your shorts. 
“Can you talk a little bit this time?” 
He smiles, chuckling a bit at you for the question.
“Oh, you’re into that?” He says almost in a mocking tone, but it sends a little wave of heat through his body to have you asking for more of him in some way. “I can’t promise I won’t say something stupid though.”
You shake your head, running your fingers up your folds and stopping at your clit.
“I don’t care what you say, I just really like your voice right now.”
Another pause from him as you watch him adjust his almost fully erect length under his pants. 
“Only right now?” He asks, trailing his fingers gently along the underside of his length and turning his body back to where his back is against the couch cushions. 
“No, I mean, I like your voice all the time but you never say much when we do this–” You admit, watching him intently like you always do, feeling the clock tick up to the point you know he’s going to pull it out and start sighing. 
“Alright, does this mean I can ask for something too?”
You quirk a brow at that but quickly nod in anticipation because finally, this is going somewhere past just watching. 
“Can we like, um–” He blushes mid-question, turning his face to look at you with all of his shame showing plainly. “Can we do it in an actual position for once?”
You can’t tell if your mind is playing tricks on you or if he’s actually wanting to pretend he’s fucking you by suggesting that. Immediately you fumble with the button on your shorts to get them off. 
“Yeah, Oh–” You stop yourself from sounding too excited. “I mean, like, what position?”
“Can I be on top?” He blurts, pulling his hand away from his length and once again looking at you and the way your fingers remain on the hem of your shorts, preparing to take them off. 
The image alone in your head of that is enough to want exactly what he wants, if not more. The illusion of him fucking you while you fuck yourself? You really couldn’t ask for more than that at this moment, though that could be argued if you think too hard about it.
“Deal.” 
The second you say that word, he’s jumping up and practically tearing his pants off of him. His eagerness is as loud and obnoxious as always, you can even hear a small “fuck yeah” whispered to himself when he does it. All is well and good until he’s tugging your shorts down for you.
Never has he taken your clothes off for you. The intimacy is flowing through you, but you’re not sure if he is feeling the same way about it. He’s probably just eager to try something new tonight rather than the usual. 
Your shorts are off faster than you’d normally take them off and you’re kind of chuckling about his blatant desperation until he hovers over you and positions himself where he wants to be. 
Now…now he’s intimidating. With both knees on the couch, your legs bent at the knees and resting on his hips. That doesn’t even matter to you right now, because you haven’t seen his face this close before. You haven’t felt his hips against your legs before, outside of when you flop down on each other during a tired morning to wake the other up. You’ve never felt your stomach flip like this over him.
And when his eyes leave that spot between your legs to meet your own with his same dopey smile, it’s like you melt into a puddle instantly and you’re wanting so much more than just this. You hold back though, finally pulling your eyes from his and looking between his legs.
You knew his cock was big but you’ve also never seen it this close to your body. It’s like, big big. Thick too, and never did you notice just how huge it is because his hands are equally huge, and wrap around it perfectly. To him, it’s a perfectly accurate cock for a man so tall and broad, but damn. 
It’s a bit embarrassing that all it took was for him to hover over you with his cock out to have you forgetting that you asked for him to talk through it. You’re in danger. Extreme danger with him like this and eager to talk this time. It starts so fast, so casually, and you’re still spinning internally just to grasp what you’re feeling right now. 
“Good?” 
That all he fucking says to start, settling into his position fully and grasping himself. Honestly, his cock is only a few inches above your core and you can feel the heat from it.
You nod, curling in on yourself a bit and he takes note of it because you’re never fucking shy. 
“Too much?” He asks, watching you shake your head in response. “God, thank fuck. Because you look so good right now.”
Spinning. 
“You can let go of me now though, I can see how wet you are already.” He continues, chuckling at the way your arms grip his shoulders.
You didn’t even fucking notice that you instantly started clinging to him. Especially with the fact that you didn’t expect him to talk to you like this. The two of you haven’t even started yet and he’s already got you on the verge of insanity. 
You’re quick to pull your arms back and lift your shirt up over your chest before slowly trailing your hand down. 
“Match my pace, okay? It’ll feel better.” He instructs, blatantly making a point so it does look and feel like he’s actually fucking you, all movements matching, sounds matching, lust matching.
You nod again, silently, eyes now focusing on his cock because if you look at his face right now you might just buckle and start crying over how insanely hot he is. 
He lets out a short chuckle at your silence, he’s used to that and didn’t take issue with it at all until you asked him to talk. He hopes you talk back at some point, but for now he leaves it alone as he starts stroking.
Precum is leaking already just from seeing you beneath him like this, bra covering your chest, panties covering your pussy– but it’s enough to get him going. He would feel selfish to ask for more unless you offer it first. He’s got you where he’s always wanted you since this whole thing started. 
You watch his hands, slipping your fingers under your panties and sliding them through your folds at the same pace, shivering only slightly at the feeling at you watch him. 
This pace works for a few minutes, but you note his grip grows tighter on himself and you hear his breath stutter in a sigh when he does it. You wonder what that feels like for him, and you wonder what he’s thinking about as he does it. You move your fingers to your clit at that point, pressing in and releasing your own sigh of relief.
He watches you, eyes shooting to your face and studying the way you close your eyes to really feel it. 
“Look at you,” he coos, trying to talk like you asked him to. “feels better when I’m here, right?”
You half open your eyes with a crooked smile, because of course it feels better when he’s with you. Even if he’s not touching you, even if he’s not the one doing it. 
“So pretty when you do this, you know–” He continues, praising you and falling into the words easier than he expected. “I think I fell in love with watching you from the second you spread your legs for me.”
You can’t. You can’t look at him when he’s talking to you, it’s a lot. It does something, it does a lot of something to you, so you focus on his cock and the way he starts pressing his hips into the circle his fingers create rather than pumping himself. He’s slow with it, lazily moving his hips back, forward, then back again. 
At that moment, you slide your fingers down and tease at your entrance, dipping a finger in easily and releasing a sigh. You can’t imagine this one finger will mimic what he could do to you, but you settle. 
“That’s it,” he says as he watches, hanging his head and knowing exactly what you’re doing with your fingers. “Can I see?”
You don’t respond and instead use your other hand to hook your panties to the side, revealing your finger sliding into you at the pace he’s sliding into his palm. 
The sigh he lets out begins to form into a moan at the end as he watches, wetting his lips and furrowing his brows. He keeps his hips steady despite obsessing over the fact that you’re fucking yourself at the same pace for illusion’s sake. 
“Put in another.” He instructs, watching you do just that and release another sigh. He’s becoming frustrated with the situation though, knowing for a fact that he could do better for you. Knowing that if you’d just suggest it, he would instantly be giving in. “Is that even enough for you?”
Your eyes shoot open and go straight to his face, which is staring down intently at the way your fingers fuck you open. 
“Not always.” You admit, shooting your gaze back down to his cock and the way his grip tightens around it. “Is that enough for you?” You follow up, pointing to his hand with your head.
“Not always…” he mimics you, and then it’s silent as the two of you accept the fact that this has to be enough right now.
And it stays like that for a while. To the point that his hips are relentlessly fucking into his palm, causing his knuckles to bump your clit every few seconds, and you’ve buried in a third finger trying your best to pretend it’s him. 
It’s both too much and not enough. Too much in the fact that he’s all over you, and too little in the fact that he’s right there and not in you. Your fingers aren’t enough when his cock is right there, his words aren’t enough when he’s not muffling that voice with your lips, and you can’t imagine he’s not feeling frustrated with the situation. All of the puzzle pieces are in front of you and neither of you are putting in the effort other than organizing them. You’re not snapping them together, you’re just on the fucking edge of the situation you want. 
Does he want it? Is it too much to ask? Is it–Oh. 
“Can I–” he starts, cutting himself off with a sharp breath because of the way you clearly are trying to reach deeper inside of yourself in pace with his long thrusts. 
“Yes.” You don’t even know what he’s asking, and to be fair you don’t think you give a shit. Whatever he wants to do, please, just do it. 
And he does without a second thought, releasing his grip and pulling at your wrist to slip your fingers out of yourself. Then, he presses his cock directly between your holds, holding it down as he picks up the pace again and thrusts up.
It’s not what you were expecting, but then again you should have known he wasn’t asking to fuck you. This is good though, feeling his cock sliding between your lips, head bumping your clit. The warmth, the heaviness, the way his length is so thick that all you can do is try to not feel empty while it’s sliding through your arousal.
He’s more focused now than he was before, nearly letting out a sob rather than a moan at the feeling of your pussy against the underside of his cock. It's like he’s getting everything he needs and nothing at the same time, but the image of your eyes staring down at it too was enough for him to know you like it too. You like it enough. 
When you let out a moan, trailing your hands up to your chest and releasing your tits from the bra, he only grinds faster against you, pressing down harder on his cock to create a tight space between your pussy and his palm. He stares at your tits, and then at your lips, and then back down at the way your pussy lips spread around his cock as he slides through them. 
Another hidden sob pretending to be a moan, and then he’s leaning closer to your face. 
“If I kiss you, would you be mad?”
You instantly strain your neck to connect your lips with his, and he falls into it all too easily. You can feel him speed up his thrusts, and you can feel his desperate tongue. It takes you a moment to realize this is your first kiss, and it’s while his cock is getting off against you. 
Its more than you could have asked for, honestly, but you’re going to ask for more because as you kiss him, well, all you can think of is how this looks outside of your position. It definitely looks like he’s fucking you. The image that you can’t even see in full is arousing you beyond belief as you kiss him, and when he pulls back for a breath, you take that short moment to spill your thoughts.
“Just a little.” You groan blankly, squeezing your breast in your hand and using your other hand to push his cock away from you. “Just–”
He stops, out of breath, trying and failing to comprehend what you’re trying to say. 
“Just what?” He groans, grabbing his cock and pumping it much like he normally would. 
“A little, just put it in a little bit.”
His face is on fire as his hand halts on his leaking cock. Did he hear you wrong? He’s watching your hands squeeze against your chest, he sees your eyes avoiding him, he can still taste your lips on his, and your pussy is just below his cock, pulsing around nothing. Is he reading you wrong?
“Just a little bit…” he repeats what you ask for, looking down at you and placing a hand on your thigh, spreading his fingers out wide. “You’re asking me to fuck you, just a little bit?”
God, the words. So few words but also so many words.
“Yes.”
He leans down inches from your face and you can feel his cock fall back to your folds at the moment, you shiver unintentionally.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to do that and then you end up regretting it.”
He told himself time and time again during these sessions with you that he would instantly jump for the opportunity to fuck you, but now that he’s faced with it– he doesn’t know what the fuck to do with himself aside from asking for confirmation as many times as he can until he believes you really want it. 
“Just,” You still avoid his eyes and the way they’re staring through you. “Please.”
He nods in an unsure way at first before pulling back and holding his length in his hand again. 
“Just a little bit, right?” He tries to confirm, and you nod.
With a deep breath, pounding heart, and spinning thoughts, he aligns himself with you and doesn’t know how to comprehend the feeling of slipping into you. So he simply…doesn’t.
You can feel the intense stretch instantly, the feeling you’ve been searching for making you shiver and nearly writhe beneath him. Just an inch, it’s all you need, he doesn’t have to do any more than that. You don’t need more, you have self-control, right?
“Oh, fuck,” he groans as your pussy envelops the head of his cock. He can feel the pulsing inside of you massage against it, he can feel the wetness, the fucking warmth. “Fuck, fuck.” 
It’s all he can say, honestly, speechless at your silence of the act. The way your mouth falls open in a silent moan only urges him to give you short, single inch thrusts despite the wetness you offer making it difficult to not accidentally slide further in.
“So thick,” You whine out in a broken and desperate voice. 
It causes him to have to take in a deep breath and hold it. Good lord, he’s fighting so many demons right now not to plunge into you and take whatever he can get. 
“A little more,” you urge him, wiggling your hips and sucking him in against his own movements. He doesn’t mind it, nor does he mind the embarrassing sound he lets out at the feeling. 
Now, he can thrust another inch in, stretching you open a little more, shocked that the three fingers you used before didn’t seem to come close to preparing you for this. He can feel how tight your walls are around him, and again, the demons. 
He lets out another embarrassing sound when he looks down, seeing only a quarter of his cock inside of you. He, once again, holds himself back from pushing in more. He could go so deep, but he can’t. 
“Little more?” He asks meekly, reaching a hand out to your cheek in the hope that you’d let him. He won’t ask again. Just, if he can get half of his cock in you, it would be plenty. It would be enough, he would be satisfied. 
“Or,” you groan at the adjustment around him, knowing full well that by asking him to put the tip in that you’d want so much more. It’s fun thinking you can control yourself, but it’s more fun losing that control with another person. You’re both controlling the need to fuck and be fucked solely because you don’t know if the other wants it. But god, he’s already inside of you, isn’t it fucking obvious?! 
“You could just fuck me.”
Say no more, with those words it’s like his hips act of their own will and he’s slowly sliding into you in full. Relishing in the way your pussy spread out to make room, cooing over the feeling of himself going deeper, deeper, and fucking deeper into you. 
“Finally.” He breathes out in relief when he bottoms out, leaning forward yet again to lay his lips against your forehead. “Felt like I’ve waited so long.”
You’re silent as you adjust to what you can consider the biggest cock you’ve ever taken. The searing pain isn’t much compared to the arousal of his admittance of wanting this only after getting inside of you. 
All you can offer him is a moan when you try to respond with your own witty sex talk, but he sends him spiraling somehow further than he already had gone. His hips stuttering in their planted spot as he lets you adjust, moaning in response to your moan. His lips kissing all over your face now, feeling in this moment that you’re his, and this feeling is shared, and that only your pussy could massage him this way simply because he’s inside of you. It’s overwhelming, all of the feelings hitting at once.
From physical feelings to emotional ones, it comes with such a harsh hit to him that all he can do is flutter those kisses to as much skin his lips can reach. Feeling your eyelashes on his cheek when he kisses the corner of your mouth, to feeling that corner of your mouth open in a yelp when he finally starts to move his hips back. Sliding out of you only a little bit before pressing back in again, deep and lazy.
“Good?” He asks, much like he did before. “So good.” He answers for both of you immediately after, keeping that lazy pace as he leans on his elbows on either side of your head. 
“Wrap your legs around me?” He follows up, already so comfortable speaking through your silence that it feels natural, especially when you do just as he asks.
In wrapping your legs around him, he’s able to adjust his body from the position he’s been stuck in this whole time. Now, he can be on his knees with you curled under him, clinging to him like a koala as he uses the back of the couch to support his balance. 
There, he’s able to pick up pace, there he’s able to see what you look like when you’re being fucked. There, he can see what you look like when he’s the one doing it. And he might be spiraling, but he feels more sane than he ever has in this moment, watching your lips and feeling you squeeze around him.
It’s no wonder he felt no interest in finding someone else. He was more satisfied jerking on in front of you than he had ever been actually inside of another person. Now though, it’s insane to think he was satisfied because he’s changed his mind. Why would he find someone else when you act like this? 
Why would he put himself through the possibility of you going out and doing the same thing with someone else? 
For you, there are no thoughts, just Seokmin. You’d laugh right now if it weren’t for the fact that each thrust forces a desperate and wet sound out of your throat. You’d laugh harder if it weren’t for the fact that you don’t even need to rub your clit to get yourself there.
He easily hits that soft spot inside of you, time and time again as his lips travel over repeated areas until landing on your mouth.
You kiss him harder than before, now trying to move your hips despite the difficulty of being under him. You try to meet him halfway now that he’s sliding nearly his entire cock out before slamming back into you. Emptying you and filling you up time and time again as if to remind you of the few moments before when you felt him for the first time. 
Repeatedly you think you’re about to come, and repeatedly you hold off until he whispers.
“I know that face, you’re holding back.”
It’s so fucking surreal knowing that he knows this without ever actually fucking you before now. He knows what you look like when you come, he knows how you like to be touched after watching you so many times. He knows where you sleep, knows what your favorite foods are, and showers in the same bathroom as you. 
You let go, thinking of only him and this moment you’re sharing. You don’t worry if it’ll ever happen again, because you know it will if he lets it. You’re not in control of this anymore, nor of yourself. 
“Pretty, like always.” He compliments when you make that familiar face of release, pumping into you faster now just to feel the gush of wet he’s seen leave your body time and time again. “Prettier now, though.” He corrects himself, feeling just what he was expecting as your body releases the tension all at once. 
The wet sounds somehow become wetter as he thrusts, still fluttering those kisses across your face to the point that you’re either numbed to it or tingling because of it. And only after he knows you’re finished does he pull out, fucking against his hand so aggressively that you’re more aware now than before that he always lets you finish first if not at the same time.
Except now, if he were to finish at the same time, he’d be filling you up so that there’s no question about the worry that comes after it. Despite knowing you’re on birth control, despite knowing you’re both clean because neither of you have fucked another person in half a year–
You watch with drowsy eyes as he releases strings of thick, white seed against both your pussy and stomach. Your panties, ruined and forgotten as they strain at the crease of your thigh. You whimper at the sight, so in love with the way it feels hitting you for some reason. So endeared with the way he pulled out despite knowing in his head that it would have been fine if he stayed. 
When he flops down over you, ignoring the mess between your bodies, you’ve never felt so close to him. You don’t think you ever want to feel further from him, actually. 
It’s the start of something else now, you’re not sure what, but it’s a given.
~
The start of something new came in the form of his room turning into a guest room for a new roommate. 
That roommate has yet to be found, but it’s an excuse to sleep next to him every night. No titles have been claimed but they’re definitely been given. Just a day after that happened, you caught him slipping and calling you his girlfriend. He figured that since you didn’t correct him, it must be true.
Yeah, it must be. 
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lilypadding · 3 months
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👒 maraudersdenier Follow
sometimes to feel alive I rewatch danganronpa season 1 and 2
#idk it was peak series to me #they had the hope's peak arc going #season 3 was completely different
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🪴 soniasansflowers Follow
I can't believe the surviving casts of DR are just walking around now??? you survived a genuine killing game and now you're just waking up on tuesday and driving to starbucks to get a drink????? what???????? 
#danganronpa #scribby.txt
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🧚‍♀️ loserrrville Follow
sorry but I still think it's funny that dr2 was the only season where they revived the cast 💀
#and the only cast that deserved it was s15 but you guys aren't ready for that convo #sdr2 #dr15
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🧸 danganwrongpers Following
🎮 monokumasmilk Following
Do you guys ever think about how everyone in Danganronpa isn't even real...? We'll never know their actual backstory, especially not from their perspective. Their memories are always wiped and replaced with hijinks fabrications. And we've already talked about how everything is real to them because it's in their head, but it's not. Their memories are built on lies. nobody in this show is real. 
🧨 fdr38frontlines Follow
average danganronpa fan discovers acting
#the reblog is funny and everything but op is onto something #I've gotten so uncomfortable whenever I think about it for too long #yeah they're all consenting adults #and they signed up for it knowing what would happen #but...
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☁️ komaedasoup Following
remember when people got so weird about nagito and hajime hanging out (and being actual friends in interviews) that they stopped talking to each other just to avoid you freaks shipping them 😭
👤 despairinglyhopeful-deactivated
they probably stopped talking publicly not privately 👀
☁️ komaedasoup Following
THIS 💥 POST 💥 IS 💥 ABOUT💥 YOU 💥
#be NORMAL??!?!
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🍇 junkorenoshimer Follow
everyone's suddenly so obsessed with danganronpa not being "ethical" but how did you guys not realize this show is kinda fucked when that one interview with makoto came out and he literally says he got nightmares of the game and intense survivor's guilt. like the signs have always been there
🎮 monokumasmilk Following
Yet you never made a post about it until now did you?
3.1k notes
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🔑 wannabekirigiri Following
KYOKO'S RED CARPET LOOK??!?!?! 😍😍😍😍😍 SOBBING AND CRYING ADN SKINNING MYSELF RUGHT NOW
#i am normal so normal so
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🎀 sdr2-supremacy Following
the things I would let hajime hinata do to me
🍡 hinatahajimeofficial Following
Okay let me run you over
🎀 sdr2-supremacy Following
HAJIME??????
#help I forgot he was real #DOES HE SCROLL THROUGH HIS OWN TAG??? 
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🔑 wannabekirigiri Following
all my mutuals will be very happy to know I GOT CAST FOR SEASON 53!!!!
#for legal reasons this is a joke haha 
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based entirely on @okthatsgreat 's original post
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friendlyshaped · 4 months
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WRITEBLR INTRO :D
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hello! my name is scottie! i am a 20 yr. old nb college student trying to write a fantasy series (among other minor projects!), looking for active writers to be mutuals and interact with (bonus if ur open to beta reading! or want a beta reader!) :D ask/tag open! i love talking to people, so don't be afraid to say hi :)
my current focus is coming-of-age queer fantasy, but i also focus on dystopian themes, horror, romance, and a sprinkle of futuristic sci-fi
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CURRENT WIPS!
mya laine and the world of wonder (main)
generally, about creation! coping with being created, and then in turn having to create yourself. also, because i only knonw how to write two things, almost every relationship in this is a lesbian relationship! i am currently trying to make it a bit less Only Lesbians, but also? who fucking cares if it is a fantasy coming of age with literally only lesbian relationships. like... i dont? i'm well aware that i am biased but i still dont care
dehisce
(of a pod or seed vessel, or a cut or wound) gape or burst open.
also lesbians! contains time shenanigans and dragons. set in a world sort of exactly like the Modern Pre-Crown World in fionna and cake. i reference this because my main lady penny is a silly little history buff and decides to go on this expedition to find more information on a lost goddess, and ends up getting entangled with time. after a long, emotional trek that goes wrong more times than it goes right. penny somehow manages to get sent thousands of years in the future when the world has been ravaged by magic and godly power. and then she meets a girl who has a dragon and a dude that does everything she says, and more shit happens!
untitled crime story (now: unorthodox methods!)
i will not stop calling it untitled crime story!!! but i had to come up with a silly and catchy title because i chose this as a premise for the feature film script i'm writing for class. but untitled crime story i'll remember you
you guessed it.... lesbians.............. but they're exes with sooo much unspoken beef and they go off-grid together anyways so neither of them get put in prison ??? it's in a world where magic is normal and a bit frowned upon, now getting out of have because there's a global shortage of the one drug that suppresses magical powers. and this girl's ex calls her one night! the fun ex---she's supposed to be fun!! but she sounds super terrified and serious and chaos ensues! lesbians running from magical authorities and having to face their very long, very loud shared history.
finally edited it! this post just doubles as my wip masterpost :) i do not feel like doing a whole new post i am just here to have fun
ok <3 thats kinda it. thank you for reading!
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sidekick-hero · 2 months
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(steddie | explicit | 11.7k | tags: pwp, friends to lovers, brief Steve/other, mutual pining, summary: Steve asks Eddie for help in fulfilling one of his fantasies. Eddie has no idea that he is the actual star of this fantasy | AO3)
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“I have no idea where you get your weed but damn, this shit hits so much harder than the stuff I usually manage to score," Steve says, face pinched as he blows out the smoke, the pungent smell of it filling the small room, before handing it back to Eddie. They're sitting side by side on the bed, both holding beers, bodies already going lax against the mattress.
"You know I don't kiss and tell."
Steve snorts a laugh. "Since when? Just last week you got lost on a ten minute spiel about that guy giving you head during your lunch break dude."
Eddie’s eyes cut a sideways glance at Steve, lips already curling in a shiteating grin. “Yeah but we didn’t kiss, so my point still stands,” Eddie retorts, wiggling his eyebrows at Steve and they both burst out into high laughter. Steve's body tilts sideways into Eddie's, and instead of pushing him away, Eddie just adjusts his own position so they're leaning against each other more comfortably.
When their laughter subsides neither of them moves away, bodies too heavy with the weed and booze in their system. They’ve been friends for years and have found themselves in much more compromising positions. Friendly cuddling while high doesn’t even make the top ten, Eddie thinks lazily.
“So, anyone interesting happening since Lunch Break Guy?”
“I’m pretty sure his name was Matt. Or Mark? Something like that. And nah, had to help Wayne clean out my old room last weekend, remember? I’m still recovering from hauling boxes all day.”
“Awww did you haul them with your dick? Poor delicate flower.” Steve giggles at his own joke, petting at Eddie with the hand not holding the beer, movements already sluggish and uncoordinated. Steve is such a lightweight and Eddie wonders why he finds that so endearing.
“Asshole,” Eddie chuckles, swatting Steve’s hand away. “At least I didn’t hook up with a guy dressed up as Frankenstein."
"It was Halloween, Eddie." He can’t see his face but Eddie hears the eyeroll in Steve’s voice.
"Did you compare your freaking monster dicks?"
"You know we didn’t, you were the one walking in on us to make that exact same joke,” Steve snorts and Eddie feels it against the skin of his neck.
Once again, Eddie wonders if it's weird that they're so close. He knows Steve doesn't tell Robin half the shit he does when he's getting his rocks off, and they're platonic soul mates. He didn't tell Chrissy about Matt's? Mark's? tongue piercing, or how he swallowed about half of Eddie's load before he started coughing and got the rest all over their clothes, so Eddie had to call Steve to get him a change of clothes because he couldn't work in cum-stained jeans. And he's pretty sure that normal friends don't make out with each other when they get drunk or high either. But, like, whatever. Who needs normal when you can have Steve leaning on you like that, smelling of his expensive shampoo and weed.
Taking another hit from the blunt, Eddie holds the smoke in for a long moment, and just as he's about to blow it out, he feels Steve's hand on his jaw, turning his head down toward his open mouth, as if he'd been waiting for this very moment. So Eddie slots their mouths together and gives Steve what he wants, as he always does. Because it's Steve, and Eddie doesn't know how not to.
After they have both exhaled the smoke, Eddie gives Steve the blunt to put in the ashtray. Steve does so, but not before taking one last hit. It's their second joint of the night and they both feel it.
“What about you, Mr. Charming? Any new adventures I haven’t heard about?”
"I went to the Babylon the other day."
"Oh," Eddie says, drawing out the syllable as he looks down at Steve in surprise. "That's the one with a darkroom that has, like, another room behind it for the really kinky stuff, right?"
Steve laughs awkwardly, avoiding Eddie's eyes. "Yeah, that one, although I think that's a hoax."
"And how do you know that?" Eddie asks, before gasping dramatically, his hand pressed to his chest in mock indignation. "Steven! Did you go in the dark room?"
Instead of a snarky comeback, all Eddie gets is an almost timid nod.
Huh.
Steve almost never gets shy, didn't even blush when he walked in on Eddie eating out the bartender in their room when they went on vacation together last year. Simply told him to hurry up because he was tired before he went back outside.
Not in the least bothered by Steve's weird behavior, Eddie pokes Steve in his rips and asks excitedly, "How was it? Tell me everything."
He can feel Steve fidgeting where he's still pressed into Eddie’s body and he takes another sip of his beer before finally looking up at Eddie.
Steve's eyes are glassy from the weed, the white tinged with red and so dark they look bottomless, like Eddie could actually fall into them, lost forever. Fuck, Steve's right, the shit Rick sold him really hits hard.
"It was good. Like, really fucking good, y'know. Intense and, I dunno, a bit awkward at first, but then it was... yeah, just really good."
Eddie feels that Steve is not telling him something here. They may be high and buzzed, but that was a lot of good in Eddie's opinion. And Steve is still fidgeting.
"Sounds...good. You picked someone up at the club to fuck there?"
"Not...really."
As it turns out, Steve went in there alone, but he wasn't alone for long. Eddie listens with bated breath as Steve goes into more and more detail about dancing and drinking at the bar, about seeing people disappear behind a thick velvet curtain only to emerge long minutes later looking disheveled and satisfied. He tells Eddie about strolling over there himself, just to check it out so he could tell Eddie about it later, and about being surrounded by strangers, too dark to make out anything but the sounds of skin slapping against skin, ragged breathing, moans and whimpers filling the thick and humid air.
Eddie feels himself getting more and more turned on the longer he listens to Steve's low voice talking about lingering hands and mouths touching him everywhere, strangers grinding against him before he inevitably moved on. Eddie's already half hard, and when he looks down into Steve's lap, he sees the thick, hard outline of his cock in his sweatpants.
It's not as embarrassing as it should be. Steve has always been hot, Eddie has two functioning eyes and an active libido. It wouldn't be the first time he jerked off thinking about Steve, not even the first time Steve was present if asleep, but they never went further than a few heated make out sessions, sloppy kisses and some grinding before remembering their friendship and breaking apart.
Not that Eddie wouldn't drop everything and be on him in seconds if Steve asked, but that’s neither here nor there.
"And then this guy just grabbed me, he was strong and I wasn't expecting it, and then my face was pressed against the wall and he was on my back, rubbing against me, his dick thrusting against my ass, and -" Steve takes a deep breath and Eddie, realizing that he has been holding his breath all along, follows suit.
"And?" Eddie asks when the silence stretches.
Another deep inhale before Steve goes on. "And it was really hot, like, I've never been so hard in my life. I wanted him to, y'know, use me, just, uh, pull my jeans down and fuck me without me being able to do anything. Just… Making me take it, getting off fucking me and then walking away like I’m just some, I dunno, toy with his cum dripping out of me."
Eddie was biting his lip so hard he was sure he'd taste blood any second, but it was the only way he could hold back the moan that was trying to crawl out of his mouth. His dick had gone from half hard to so hard it almost hurt, and he was seconds away from pushing down his own sweats and jerking off to the way Steve talked about being used.
"But then, I don't know, my brain, like, panicked, and I pushed him off, and ran out of the room before I even knew I was going to do it."
Steve is decidedly not looking at Eddie, which is good, because Eddie has no idea what his face must look like right now. Probably as destroyed as he feels. He's pretty sure Steve has seen the way his sweats are tenting by now, but considering how obscenely Steve's dick is stretching the fabric of his own pants, Eddie thinks Steve doesn't have a leg to stand on. Eddie also felt the way Steve's hips squirmed as he recounted the way those strangers in the darkroom had touched him.
The silence between them grows and grows, sitting heavy on his chest, so Eddie clears his throat and asks, "So - was it, I mean," he exhales loudly, "did you, uh, like it?" Steve looks up at him, surprised by the question, and Eddie clarifies, "I mean before you panicked and ran out. Everything before that."
Chewing on his lower lip, Steve considers his questions and the air between them is so thick that Eddie feels like he's drowning. He swallows and watches, transfixed, as Steve's Adam's apple also bobs, a bead of sweat sliding past it as it moves.
"I mean, yeah. I did. It was hot, man, like I said. Especially the... the way they were just touching me, taking what they wanted. I didn't even know that I, uh, wanted that?” It isn’t often that Steve sounds unsure, at least when it comes to sex and hookups. So when Eddie hears his voice waver like that, like Steve is embarrassed to want something, his instincts to comfort and help start screaming at him.
Before he can do anything about it, like pull Steve against him and tell him it’s okay, Steve keeps going. “But it was too much… Too, I dunno, surprising? Like, I really wanna do that again, but like, with some precaution. So it feels safe and I can, uh, let go or something. Not panic again because that sucked man.”
Steve finishes his beer and drops the empty bottle on the floor next to Eddie's bed. Usually he would bitch about it, just because it's what he always does, but tonight is not like most of their ‘boys’ nights’, as Robin calls them mockingly. Eddie is a little lost and a lot turned on right now and he thinks it would be best for him if their conversation ended here.
If only it was that easy when you have the impulse control of a toddler and can’t leave things very well alone.
"But you fucked strangers before. Like two weeks ago I watched you pick up some random guy to fuck in your car before coming back in for another beer. I helped you get out the cum stains the next day, too."
"I know, I know. It's not that. It's - you remember Clive?"
"Ugh, that asshole." Eddie says with feeling.
Steve chuckles against Eddie's neck and moves even closer, soothing Eddie's annoyance with the contact. God, but he hated that guy who had treated Steve like shit. He had been mean and condescending, and Steve had always looked subdued, almost small, in the days after their hookups.
"Yeah, that one. You hate him, he was a dick, I know. But he, well. He fucked me like this once, pinned me down on the bed, caged me in, ass up, face pressed into the pillow so I could barely breathe, and pounded me so hard I was covered in bruises the next day. Said some nasty shit too, man, and I felt so dirty but also so fucking turned on that I came without a hand on me.”
Steve squirms and fidgets next to him, his body moving against Eddie's in small increments, and Eddie thinks Steve doesn't even realize he's doing it, lost in his memories and the typical weed horniness. "I want this, but, y'know, like, with more."
Eddie actually chokes on his spit at that, stammering, "More?"
"Yeah," Steve says, pushing his face into Eddie's neck like that's the last straw, the thing that's too embarrassing to say out loud. "Like, when I think about it, I'm completely helpless. Hands tied, legs spread with a bar so I couldn't close them even if I wanted to.”
Eddie can't help it, he's got to do something or he'll actually die of Steve-induced sexual frustration. He shifts slightly on his right side, towards Steve, so that he can push his left leg over his right, pressing it down enough to relieve at least some of the pressure. Still, the sensation of any kind of friction against his aching dick makes him clench his hands into fists, his whole body tense.
His next words sound strained to his own ears. "So why not... do it with someone else? I mean, I've seen you at clubs and parties, Stevie, you'd have no problem finding someone willing to do, uh, that."
"True. But it doesn't feel safe. What if, y'know, the guy is, like, a serial killer or something? I've watched enough crime shows with you to know that happens!"
Eddie doesn't say anything, just takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Because seriously, Steve is right, it's super fucking risky and if he's honest, he doesn't want to think about Steve in that kind of danger. He'd go crazy worrying about him.
They're both silent and Eddie's thoughts are racing, the mellowness that usually comes with getting high gone. Replaced by more and more images of Steve flashing behind his eyelids.
Steve on a bed, Steve bent over a table, Steve on some faceless guy. Hands and mouths and teeth all over Steve’s body, his beautiful hazel eyes wide and wet, his face slack with pleasure. His gorgeous dick dripping with need.
Steve, Steve, Steve.
"Can you be there?"
His thoughts come to a screeching halt as his eyes widen in shock. What?
"What?"
"Well, no one would try anything if someone was looking out for me. Also, I could let go knowing you're there. I know you'll keep me safe."
Which, yeah. Eddie would. He would always make sure Steve was safe. It's himself, his heart, that he doesn't trust to be safe when he's there.
"What are you saying here, Steve?"
"I dunno, just that when I think about it. Think about being naked and tied to a bed, all helpless and shit, and there is some guy fucking me however he wants. Use me however he wants… I just. I want that, been thinking about it so much since that night at the Babylon. And you're always..." Steve's hand clenches and unclenches against Eddie's arm. "I want you there. To watch out for me. Make sure I'm still safe, that he doesn't really hurt me. Like, y'know, a safety blanket."
Jesus fucking Christ. He'll never let Steve near his weed again. Not if it ends with Steve tucked into his side, that familiar heat spreading from all the places their bodies touch, both hard in their sweatpants, while Steve talks about Eddie being his goddamn safety blanket while he gets railed by a stranger.
Still, Steve so rarely asks for anything that Eddie wants to do this for him, as fucked up as it sounds. He’s always been a freak and it seems Steve’s right there with him.
Before Eddie can make up his mind, however, Steve lifts his head and chuckles in a way that sounds forced. "Sorry, never mind, it's the weed talking, just forget it."
With that, he untangles himself from Eddie and stands up, his hard dick very obviously tenting his sweats as he turns away from the bed and towards the door. "I'm gonna get another beer, you want one?"
Looking at Steve's back and the tense line of his shoulders, Eddie says, "Yeah, sure.”
Read the rest on AO3
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milkpup · 5 months
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。⋆ʚ♡ like father, like son
›› chapter 2 ›› nsfw 18+ ongoing multi-chapter fic!
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previous chapter ♡ next chapter
ʚ ao3 ɞ / ʚ kofi ɞ / ʚ fic masterlist ɞ
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›› toji fushiguro x reader ›› megumi fushiguro x reader ›› toji x reader x megumi (mfm) ›› 18+ f!reader ›› started: 12/6/23 : updated: 1/29/24 : status: ongoing
‹𝟹 summary: You and Megumi are best friends. You've known eachother for almost your whole life. His home has become your second home. As time passes and life happens, Megumi slowly develops feelings for you, even though he's unaware of it. To complicate things further, you're now living with him and his father, who has also taken a liking to you.
‹𝟹 fandom: jjk, jujutsu kaisen
‹𝟹 genres / warnings: au - no powers, college au, power imbalance, pseudo-incest (they both want y/n, nothing w/ eachother), dubious consent
‹𝟹 tags: good cop bad cop, fluff, smut, angst, toji has a big dick, dilf toji, toji is his own warning, toji tries to be a good parent, toji is an asshole, toji is trying okay?, daddy dom toji, daddy kink, porn with feelings, porn with plot, friends to lovers, spit / spitting, spit kink, spit as lube, breeding, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, double vaginal pen, double pen, anal, making out, making love, love triangles, praise kink, degradation, light masochism, light sadism, emotional sex, cuckolding, jealousy, jealousy kink, smoking, smoking kink, emotional manipulation, manipulation, polyamory?, father and son share you, protective megumi fushiguro, megumi needs a hug, megumi has a big dick, aged up characters, dead dove: do not eat, finger sucking, large cock, cum swallowing, blow jobs, first time blow jobs, under desk blow jobs, fingerfucking, face sitting, face riding, 69, mutual masturbation, threesome mfm, lots of smut, loss of virginity
‹𝟹 notes: formatting next chapter for tumblr! there are currently 4 posted on ao3. i have the 5th in the works! it gets spicy!
!! - again, PLEASE READ TAGS BEFORE CONTINUING - !!
! - ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+ - !
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Chapter 2: Intimacy and Exposure
--
By mid afternoon, you and Megumi are both exhausted with your full course load. You both major in biology, no emphasis right now. Megumi loves animals, so he will probably pursue something veterinary later. As for you, you’re undecided. You chose biology because it’s very general and broad, and also so you could be with Megumi more. You would never tell him that, though. You just say “idk maybe some science-y crap” and shrug it off.
You weren’t able to get lunch, so you both decide to visit a coffee shop after your last class of the day. A snack and some caffeine would help get you through for a while until you decide what you want to eat that night.
Megumi orders his usual black cold brew and muffin. The barista asks how to spell his name, and giggles? Is she flirting with him?
“That’s a cute name…” She says as she writes it down on his cup. “And for you…?” She barely glances at you.
You’re not sure how you feel in that moment. Was she flirting with Gumi? Am I jealous? Why is my heart racing?
“Oh I’ll just get an iced black tea and a banana bread please.” You try to not show your emotions while speaking. You’re not sure why you feel this way though.
You hope and pray to whoever is out there, any deity listening, that Megumi would not see you blushing and jealous.
You think you’re in the clear, he didn’t notice. He drives you home and you scroll your phone, acting like everything is normal. In reality, you’re shaking.
--
Sitting around the table, you both have your laptops and books out in front of you. It’s been a couple hours of studying, and you’re ready to take a break.
“Gumi, can we take a break and watch something? If I read the word bacteria one more time I’m going to go insane.” You tell him more than ask, already getting up out of your seat. You’re yawning, walking straight towards your bedroom, not even bothering to wait up for him. You already know he will follow.
Your room is hyperfeminine, plushies everywhere, cute shit everywhere. But you also have a mix of other stuff, like your consoles and gaming setup (that Megumi helped you get), a bass guitar that you’ve barely touched, piles of books you haven’t sorted yet.
You turn the tv on, hopping onto your bed. Megumi follows and lies next to you. You’re already aware of his presence and he isn’t even touching you.
“What do you wanna watch, Gumi?” You ask as you scroll through different apps.
“Whatever you want, you have better taste in movies and shows.” He doesn’t really care, he just savors the opportunity to be close to you. He lies behind you, almost touching but not quite. He’s close enough to feel the tickle of your hair. He feels weird thinking that your hair smells nice.
You choose some random comedy show, not caring to pay any attention. You just wanted a chance to rest and turn your brain off for a while.
Megumi moves a little close, resting his hand on the side of your abdomen. This isn’t the first time you’ve been close to Megumi, you both used to cuddle under the same blanket on cold nights or huddle under one when playing games as kids. But for some reason, now it feels different. Maybe it’s because you’re hyperaware? It has to be that, right?
Your heart beats faster, your skin feeling warm to the touch with every movement he makes. Does he notice? Is he aware of these things too? Am I overthinking things?
An hour passes by, but it feels like an eternity. You’re so hyperaware that every second feels like 20 minutes have passed. He hasn’t done more than gently caress the side of your body. He doesn’t seem to be making any advances. So why is this so painful to endure? Why does a simple touch make your body feel hot, with something pooling in between your legs?
Megumi is aware. You think he isn’t, but he can tell. Your breathing is irregular, your pulse is uneven, your skin is hot. He notices, and it drives him insane. But he’s respectful, he wouldn’t try anything. You are basically siblings with how long you’ve known eachother and lived together.
It’s getting hard to breathe. Even the lightest touch sends jolts through your body. You turn around to meet his gaze, with a look he’s never seen before. Your face is red, you’re struggling to breathe, while looking into his eyes like you know his secret. He’s flushing too, starting to sweat, feeling heat spread through his body. Your eyes are intoxicating to Megumi.
He looks at your eyes, then your panting lips, and back to your eyes again. He’s thinking of everything he wants to do to you, he doesn’t care if it’s wrong.
He touches your cheek, caressing you gently. Your breath hitches as he’s so close to you. He runs his fingers down your neck, before he pushes you to your back. It’s not forceful by any means, but mostly surprising.
He’s on top of you, pinning your arms to your pink bedsheets as he leans down towards you.
“Y/N…” he breathlessly speaks, “tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”
You definitely do not want it to stop. You’re staring up at him with your doe eyes, unable to control your breathing. He leans in closer, his face not even an inch away from yours.
His lips crash into yours. You’re surprised, you didn’t think he would be so intense, and this good at kissing. He’s biting your lip, trying to elicit little yelps and mewls from you. He’s kissing you so roughly, forcing his tongue inside your mouth. Megumi is still on top of you, pressing his body against yours.
You can feel his heartbeat, his hot skin, his bulge against your body. You don’t know why, but you lift your hips and legs up a bit to angle yourself better against his body. Feeling him so close, pressing into you was making you feel almost drunk.
He releases one of his hands from pinning yours so he can caress your cheek a bit more. His hand travels down your neck again, moving towards your chest, before eventually resting at the bottom hem of your shirt.
He’s giving you sloppy kisses, before he momentarily stops to ask you a question. “Y/N, can I?” he asks while gentle tugging on your shirt.
You giggle. He’s too damn cute. You nod your head yes and he releases your other hand.
You pull your shirt above your head, leaving your bralette on.
He looks down at your flushed frame, no longer hidden behind some random band t-shirt. The moment you take your shirt off, he’s harder than ever before. You feel him poking into you a bit.
He kisses you with more passion this time, grinding his bulge into your clothed cunt. He’s grunting and making little moans in between kisses.
He lifts his head a bit to look at you and moves his hand over your bralette. He admires the intricate lace detail, thinking it suits you perfectly. He licks his lips. You know he wants to desperately feel what’s under, but you decide to tease him a bit.
You wrap your legs around his waist, forcing your bodies to be even closer. He grunts a bit, looking at you. You smirk and pull his head back down to make out with you.
You’re grinding against him with fervor, unrelenting and unforgiving. The feeling of him rubbing against you is oh so good, and extremely hot.
He moves his hand towards the waistband of your shorts. “May I, Y/N?” You think it’s sweet that he asked. You decide to reward him a bit.
You roll him over and push him against the mattress. You quickly get up and pull your shorts off, leaving your panties on. You take your bralette off. He’s watching you like a starved dog, savoring every second of this.
You pull his sweatpants off, leaving only his boxers on. He’s looking at you, with wide eyes, excited and surprised.
You straddle his waist, sitting on top of him. You grind against him, eliciting sounds of pleasure from his lips. You lean towards him, giving him a quick kiss on the lips, before leaving a trail down his neck. You suck on his skin, giving him small and faint lovebites. He looks so cute.
You have a suddenly devious idea. “Megumi, can I try something?”
He instantly nods yes; he wants you to do anything and everything with him.
“Lay down then, please. I want to try something I saw online once….” You say as you move towards his head. You’re hovering above him now. He’s directly at eyelevel with your clothed pussy, and he feels his boxers get tighter the closer you get.
“Let me know if you need me to stop, please <3.” You hum as you pull your panties aside and lower yourself onto his face.
He can feel your drenched cunt against his mouth and instinctually starts getting at it. Licking and sucking like it was his last supper. Megumi couldn’t really breathe, but he didn’t care. He could die right now and have no regrets. He would die a happy man.
You moan as he’s sucking and flicking between your folds. The noises you make drive him even more insane, he thinks he could cum right then with how much of a turn on it is.
You lift yourself up, giving him a moment to catch his breath as you look down at him. He’s staring up at you with the eyes of an animal.
You sit back down, and he continues once more. Sucking on your clit, savoring the taste of your essence, and basically fucking the air. He’s straining against his boxers now, desperate for any touch or release.
You have another idea. You lift yourself back up and turn around, your cunt still in front of his face. You lean down towards his straining cock. You push your cunt back down on his face, and like a good boy, he continues again.
“Fuck Megumi…” You whimper out as you push against his tongue. You move your hand over his boxers, palming his cock. You notice he’s quite big and you’re a little scared.
You release his cock from his underwear and it springs up. Megumi grunts under your touch. You stroke his cock a bit, slowly. That’s not your objective however.
You lift up once more as you move to spit on top of his cock. Megumi moans again, feeling the sensation of your spit covering the head of his cock.
You sloppily kiss the tip, earning a moan and a few curses from Megumi. “Fuck… Y/N.”
You move forward to suck the tip, before letting it come out with an audible pop sound. “You have hands too, Megumi…”
Your pussy is still in front of him, and he gently moves his hand to brush over your clit, circling it. You moan as you take him back into your mouth again. You’re desperately hoping this feels good, it’s your first time doing any of it.
Megumi pushes his index finger in, noticing how wet and tight your cunt already is. He’s salivating at the thought of when he can fuck your tight hole, but he’s content with just learning your body for now. Everytime he pumps his finger in and out, he hears your sweet, angelic voice.
The way you respond to his touch is music to your ears. Your mewls and whimpers drive him crazy enough already.
You take his cock back in your mouth, trying to push more in as he fucks you with his finger. He adds another of his slender fingers inside, feeling how he’s stretching you already. You moan around his cock, and this turns Megumi on more.
He moves to push you against the bed again, pushing your body down gently. He never breaks contact with your cunt, as he starts to fingerfuck you even harder. He’s watching you squirm and moan under his touch, and he can’t get enough of it.
“Megumi… Aah!!” His touch is relentless. He wants to hear every sound you can possibly make. He finger fucks you harder, feelings your walls clamp around his fingers. He uses his other hand to rub circles around your clit. You’re nearing your climax, and he’s eager to see all of it.
You’re drunk in the pleasure that is Megumi’s skilled fingers. He brings you to the edge, watching as pleasure washes over your entire body. He pulls his fingers out and licks them clean, wanting to savor your juices all while never breaking eye contact with you.
Your chest is heaving, but you want to make this man feel good too. You roll over and crawl across the bed towards him. He sits atop the bed once more, spreading his legs open and smirking.
The way you’re crawling towards him is incredibly hot. He knows what you’re about to do.
You make your way to his cock, spitting on it once more and stroking it a bit. You know you can’t fit all of this beast, but you want to try your hardest.
You look up at him as you take his cock into your mouth. You make it about halfway before you feel at your limit.
“Y/N, you’re taking me so well. You’re such a good girl,” he praises you as you drool over his cock. He gently grabs your hair, not tugging but mostly just applying pressure.
Your pussy drips again at the praise as you continue to go up and down. You’re finding a rhythm to breathe and still go at a decent pace. Using your hands also helps, and whenever you fondle his balls, Megumi’s eyes roll back into his head a bit.
“Y/N.. I’m close..” He says as he bucks his hips against your mouth. “Please.. don’t stop..”
You suck harder and moan against his cock. You don’t particularly like the idea of cum in your mouth, but for Megumi, you would do it.
He covers the back of your throat with his cum, and groans as you empty his balls like an expert. “Y/N… fuck…”
You pull back up, trying to not show how displeased you are with the taste of cum.
“That was… fuck…” He lets out an exhausted sigh. “Fucking… amazing…”
You’re laying down together again, not even caring to get dressed again. The studying can wait for later, for now you want to relish this moment.
You’re not sure what this means between you two, but you’re still happy that it happened. You yawn as he snuggles around you as the big spoon, surrounding by the same fuzzy blanket and cute plushies.
He thinks it’s so cute how tired you get after that. He lays there as you fall asleep before him, memorizing and tracing every detail of your body.
Toji comes home not long after Megumi finally passes out. He doesn’t see food on the table, and goes to check your room. He sees you and Megumi, asleep under your fuzzy pink comforter.
--
‹𝟹 notes: i will have the next chapter posted here asap :D feedback is always appreciated! ao3 has all the chapters so far!
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(・ω・)つ divider creds to @/cafekitsune and @/eloquentreverie
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farfromstrange · 1 year
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Long-Distance | Matt Murdock x Reader
masterlist
Pairing: Matt Murdock x AFAB!Reader
Summary: Matthew gifts you a vibrator for while he's away - but it’s not at all what you think. He bought it for you to play with him and yourself at the same time. How can you say no to such a lucrative offer?
Warnings: SMUT, 18+ MINORS DNI, porn without plot, established relationship, no pronouns (but Matt calls reader a good girl), pure filth, mutual masturbation, use of a vibrator, soft!dom Matt, JOI, sub!reader, hints at unprotected p in v sex, breeding kink, mentions of choking kink, phone sex, dirty talk, coming untouched (?), fluff, no y/n but it's from your pov
A/n: I decided to take the old post down and post it AGAIN because no matter what I'm doing, Tumblr refuses to let my fics appear in the tags. It's pissing me off because I worked hard on this and I actually want people to read it, so I'm trying this again.
I wrote this in two hours – I'm that fucking horny. That’s why there might be several errors here, but idc. Also, I think it's fucking amazing that such vibrators exist (I found that out totally on accident and now I can't wait to meet my s/o and try it out with them). Matt Murdock and remote vibrators? Yes, please. It's not a want it's a need. So I wrote this and well, I kind of like it. It's already been posted on ao3 and oh what a wonder, you can actually find it there! Anyway, the thought of Matt buying us a remote vibrator for long-distance phone sex has my mind going all sorts of crazy. Hope you enjoy!
This is too long to be considered a drabble but it's also missing a lot of detail, so it's a non-drabble drabble.
18+ MINORS DNI!
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You're not so sure how you got here.
One moment, you’re kissing your boyfriend goodbye at the airport before he goes on a business trip to Los Angeles, the next you’re holding a small gift-wrapped package he placed under the mattress with a bow as he tells you over the phone to, “Open it.”
You have no idea how you got here, but at the same time, you know exactly how. This always happens. He always finds a way to play even when he’s not home with you. He doesn’t need to be close to make you lose your mind. 
So when you toy with the bow and he can clearly hear the hesitation in your movements, he uses more force to tell you again, “Open it, angel. It won’t bite.”
Unless you want it to - you’re hoping it’s not jewelry. You love it when he makes expensive gifts he can barely afford, even with his law firm picking up more wealthy clients willing to pay generous amounts for a good criminal defense, but not tonight. Tonight, you want something else. You want something that can be gift-wrapped, but not over such a vast distance. You want to unwrap something else, feel something else and have someone else in bed with you. 
Eventually, you get the bow open and free the object within the long box from its confines. You swallow. His gift is long and made out of silicone, and it’s thick but not nearly as wide as him. There are three buttons instead of just one and the one underneath the obvious on-button looks like a thermometer. You feel the urge to press it, but you stop yourself. He hasn’t told you to play with it yet, only to unwrap it, and you did. 
“Matthew,” you whisper. It’s almost a warning as much as it is a thank you. 
The phone is on speaker so he can hear every little sound and you can hear him, though with your normal, human senses it’s a little less intense. 
He chuckles and the sound shoots right to your core, the vibrator trembling in your hands; the toy isn’t even on yet, but the prospect of what it can do and might entail turns you on beyond compare. 
Phone sex with Matt has always been intense. Whenever he went away, he made sure that the two of you would have time to get some much-needed intimacy. He loves listening to every sound you make, no matter how pathetic, and the way you respond to the sound of his voice alone has him coming faster than usual. Not to mention he can pour out his filthiest dirty talk right into your ear and since you can’t see him, it’s just his voice that has you on the edge in minutes, and he feels so incredibly proud of himself whenever you would moan his name in ecstasy. He often considered recording those phone sessions to listen back on at a later, much more desperate time, but he’s afraid that if he did that, he might never be able to stop. 
“You like it?” his smug voice climbs through the fog that has taken over your mind. 
You nod and he senses it, he always does, even hundreds of miles away and with a phone in between the two of you. He has complete control over you and no one knows you and your body better than he does. 
Matt thrives off of it. he thrives off of being the only one who can make you come like that, the only one who can push your buttons so precisely and in just the right spot that it makes you cry out. But most importantly, he thrives off the love he has for you. The love you have for him sustains him, but he lives for you and so loving you is truly the best thing that could have happened to him. And whenever you tell him those three magical words, he wants to combust. He’s never been happier than with you. 
You set the package aside, scooting up the mattress until your back hits the headboard. The apartment is so empty without him, but you can hear his breathing on the other end of the line and it makes you feel less alone. The darkness sends shivers down your spine and goosebumps all over your skin. 
“What does it do?” you dare to ask. 
Matt chuckles again. “What doesn’t it do?”
“Matthew.”
“Take a closer look, sweetheart,” is all he responds to your threatening tone, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
God, his voice sounds so sexy when it’s all breathy and needy for you. He’s lowering his voice just for you, just to make you feel everything you want and need to feel. And he’s so in love he could die from the intensity.
Following his command, you look at the burgundy vibrator again, shaped like a dick in all the right places, thick in girth and length, but coming nowhere close to what Matt hides under his everyday clothing - and what most possibly lies in his hand right now, hard and throbbing for more. 
Your finger traces over the thermometer symbol, the on-button, and whatever the third button could be for. “It heats up,” you state, and your voice sounds just a little surprised while also sparked with intrigue. 
“That’s right,” he says. 
“And it turns on, obviously, but what’s the third button for?”
You hear a click on the other side. He must have moved his phone from the bedside table into his hand. He sounds so much closer now. 
Mat shifts in his hotel bed. “Take your phone.”
“Okay.” You follow without questioning his intentions. He knows what he’s doing. 
“I downloaded an app.”
“You did what now?”
“Yeah, when you were sleeping before I left. I downloaded an app. Open it,” he says. 
Part of you wants to ask why he would download an app on your phone, but you remind yourself that there is a very pleasing surprise waiting in your hand for you and he only wants to prolong the pleasure. So you comply. 
You reach the last page, skimming over the different apps until you find one you don’t recognize. 
Oh.
Oh.
“Jesus, Matt,” your curse out when you open it and find the first page staring back at you, the lighting setting already turned all the way down so as not to distract you with its blue light. 
“Do you like it?” he asks again. 
He knows you do. 
“It’s with remote control. How did you-”
“I heard about it while I was out the other night. Some couple down the street talked about how this particular model has a long-distance function and I thought, what could be better than finally being able to properly control your orgasms over the distance?”
“Fuck!”
“And you wanna know what’s even better?”
“What?” you ask, swiping to view the different settings. 
What could be better than this?
One press of a button and he could draw his fingers on the screen in a pattern that would have you shaking. He could control your pleasure with his phone alone. The vibrations would be completely in his hands, not yours, and all the while he would whisper the filthiest things into your ear until it would feel as if he was truly there with you. 
It’s so exciting, you rub your thighs together, slowly starting to open the knot of your bathrobe to get some more space to breathe. The room only seems to grow hotter. 
Another click on the other end and then he says, “I have one too.”
You’re unaware of how you got here, but you’re most certainly not going to complain. 
Both vibrators are connected, so while Matt plays with your pussy like a fiddle, you can do whatever you want with him. It’s a ring, he tells you, and he puts it on. You can hear him do it, you listen to his every breath and silent groan, rubbing your thighs together again. 
The bathrobe slips open. You undress for him. He doesn’t have to tell you, you know what you have to do. 
“Are you naked?” he asks. 
You nod your head, “Yes.”
“Good.”
“Are you?” you retort. 
Matt chuckles into your ear from where you placed the phone on the pillow. “I am,” he says. 
“Good.”
“Here’s what we’re going to do: You’re going to take the vibrator and turn it on. Can you do that for me, angel?”
You can and you do. 
“Good girl,” his praise goes straight to your cunt, “Now, I want you to use your free hand to touch your breasts, and give your hard nipples some much-needed attention. Don’t hold back, baby. Do whatever makes you feel good.”
“Okay,” you barely manage to choke out. 
“And while you’re busy doing that, I want you to use the other to place the vibrator on your clit.”
“Fuck, Matthew!”
“That’s right, moan my name. I’m going to teach you how to scream it very soon.”
You have no idea how you got here. 
The vibrator is so deep inside of your tight pussy now, you can feel it resting right against your g-spot, and the stimulator attached to the toy has its tip pressed tightly against your aching clit. He got you so wet so quickly, one hand on your breast and the other using the vibrations of the vibrator to you all wet. 
The setting he’s using can only be described as cruel. You’re sure he’s just playing around, using his finger to stroke up and down not only the speed button on his phone screen but his cock as well.
You really don’t know how you got here, but it feels too damn good to stop and question the series of events that lead you here, to him. 
His name is a mantra embedded in your brain. “Matthew,” you’re moaning and writhing and he can hear everything. 
Your hands clutch the sheets and your back arches. The vibrator pulsates, then slows down only to pick up the pace again. He keeps doing that until you’re crying, overstimulated, and on the edge of an orgasm that felt the most intense it had ever been. 
But you reap what you sow and so Matt gets back just exactly what he’s giving you. You find your phone again, interrupting the constant vibrations of his own toy, and changing the setting. If you have to suffer, he might as well join you. 
It’s filthy, the things you’re doing and what you’re saying. You should feel bad for fucking yourself on a vibrator controlled by your boyfriend and waking the neighbors with your obscene sounds, but in the bliss of pleasure, you couldn’t care less about what the people in the building have to say about you. 
You both need this so damn much. 
He grunts on the other end and that tells you he is getting close too, so you slow down the vibrations and match them to your own, moving your fingers in the same rhythm he does. 
“Angel,” he breathes and your name follows suit. He’s a mess and he’s so needy, his cock throbs hard. All he wants to do is come, preferably in you, and fill you with his release until you’re fucking overflowing and well-bred, but he can’t. He wants to fuck you through this intense orgasm as your pussy flutters and shakes around him. He wants to hear how wet you are, feel your tears, and choke your pretty little neck until you’re coming all over him. He doesn’t care if it gets messy, he just wants you, and as he fists himself along to the vibrations you torture his red, weeping cock with the vibrating ring at the base, he imagines it’s your hand, your mouth, your fucking pussy that’s making him feel so good. 
And he knows you’re imagining his cock, too. You’re imagining him driving in and out of you, twitching and pushing into your g-spot expertly. In your head, he has you pinned down with a hand around your throat, the other rubbing your clit vigorously and at a torturous pace as you inch closer and closer to your climax. He has your legs thrown over his shoulder, or he just holds you close, chest to chest as he fucks into you relentlessly. Perhaps he’s even turning you over now, forcing you to get to your hands and knees and pounding into your tight, used hole. You can only imagine the sting of his hand on your ass, the hand in his hair as he hauls you back and kisses you passionately, making you feel his love and his cock at the same time, and once he touches your neck you would come hard around him, screaming or speechless, whatever mood you are in at the moment, and he’d follow suit, spurting his hot cum into your pussy. It’s lewd, it’s foolish and a lot could go wrong with protecting, but you don’t care anymore. If that man wants to fuck his babies into you, God knows you would do it for him. In the heat of the moment, you think so, at least, because you agreed you aren’t ready for children yet and wouldn’t be for some time, but having Matt Murdock fuck his seed into your cunt as it spasms around his thick cock, marking and breeding you like a toy does things to you. He’s so rough while also being the gentlest when holding you as you come, whispering praises, and kissing you. 
God, you are so close. You’re not sure how much more you can take.
He groans. “Just a little more,” he tells you. “Don’t come yet. Wait for my permission, sweetheart. Be a good girl for me.”
Matt turns down the vibrator only so much that your orgasm washes away, the wave disappearing, and adding to the tsunami that is waiting to hit home. 
You whine, grabbing the sheets. 
“Are you thinking about me? About how my cock would feel inside of you? ‘Cause I’m thinking about you,” he says. “I’m thinking about your tits bouncing whenever I thrust inside of you and the feel of your click cunt taking me so well, making all kinds of sounds that have me wanting to suck on those beautiful lips of yours for days on end. God, you have no idea how much I want you right now. Turn the heat on.”
That’s the one thing he can’t control.
“I want you to feel like it is my dick inside of you, baby.”
“But you’re so much bigger,” you argue, even amid your pleasure. 
He chuckles. “I know I am.”
The heat does things to you. It relaxes your walls and allows the vibrator to push even deeper until it’s buried to the hilt. Only then does the accelerate the vibrations again. Together with the heat, your legs are soon shaking and your walls clench, holding the orgasm right there. You don’t have permission, but you need to come. You need to come now or you would make him very unhappy. 
“N’ugh, please, Matthew. I’m so close. So fucking close.”
“I know,” he purrs. 
“Come with me,” you plead and once you put the vibrations of his ring on full intensity, his moans grow louder and he’s shaking, whimpering even, and his voice cracks. 
He reaches for the phone and almost doesn’t make it to tell you, “Come,” before your bubble bursts, the knot releases, and all the pressure on your cunt evaporates with the most intense orgasm he could have possibly pulled out of you. 
Once again, you have no idea how you got here. Legs shaking, cheeks wet with tears, the sheets soaked with your wet cum as your cunt and clit twitch. It’s swollen and aching between your legs, like your folds and everything else. Your nipples are so sensitive, you have to ease the hand that holds them. You’re trembling, but only in the ways that are so fucking good. 
For minutes, you don’t know how long, and none of you speak. Only heavy breathing fills the phone line. The vibrators have long stopped producing sounds as you shut them off, though you are far too gone to pull it out. It fills you like Matt’s cock would, and you want to keep the image alive for a little longer, feel him in and on you even if he can’t be there to hold you. You can’t keep his cock warm, but you can pretend, only for a moment. 
You break the silence first. “Matt?” you ask into the night. 
He hums on the other side. 
“When are you coming home?”
Your voice is vulnerable and honest, and he sighs. He doesn’t want to hurt you, doesn’t want to disappoint you, and he doesn’t want to stay and work on that godforsaken case any longer either. It’s over, he can go home. He wants to go home. If he has to hand off his caseload to someone else, Jennifer Walters maybe, he would if it meant he could get to see you sooner than planned. One more day, he swears, and then he would take the earliest flight back home to you. 
“Soon,” he answers. “I’ll be home soon, sweetheart.”
He still doesn’t quite know what he did to deserve you. The more important it is to him to make you unconditionally happy. He doesn’t want you to leave, doesn’t want to lose you, he just wants you in his arms for the rest of his life. 
“You’re the love of my life,” he continues long after you’ve fallen asleep to the sound of his voice, cleaned up and tired from your shared activities. “I will always come back home to you,” he says. “I promise.”
Though he decides that this time, as soon as he’s home, he will ease the weight dragging down the inside of his suit jacket every time he’s with you, he’s never dared to ask you before. Too much of a coward to stand up and speak now, to ask you to stay forever and have a family with him. He wants you, no one else, and he’s determined to prove it to you this time. He doesn’t want to be apart from you any longer. It’s torture, the torture he has to end soon because it’s not just hurting him, it is hurting you too. 
You’re not sure how you got here, but with Matt Murdock planning to ask you to marry him, it doesn’t matter why certain things happen a certain way. They just do and it’s perfect that way. 
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heaven4lostgirls · 1 year
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You’re my happy place
husband!elijah mikaelson x wife!fem!reader
tags: fluff, happy ending, soft!elijah
a/n: if u guys even read this pls pls pls send me requests for fics u want me to write!! ok enjoy<3
You had spent the entire day at the compound waiting for Elijah and Nik to get back. They had gone on some stupid witch hunt again because Nik believed that the witches were plotting against him as usual.
You sat on the floor of the compound playing with baby hope when you hear the hurried footsteps of the two brothers and the stench of blood nearly made you vomit on the spot.
You hurriedly put Hope back in her cot before running to see if anyone was hurt. Nik looked like he had just committed mass murder but by the look in his eyes you knew better than to ask him what had happened. All you did was beckon hun closer and take a look to see if any of his injuries were major, thankfully he just looked like he had a bruised ego.
To the left of his Elijah stood in a ski liar state however he seemed to be clutching his side. You knew whenever Nik would put himself in dangerous situations your idiot of a husband would not be far behind, always looking out for his little brother.
You made your way to him slowly whilst looking over him to see if anywhere else seemed to be causing him pain, once it looked like his side was the only place he seemed to be clutching you sighed in relief.
As you reached him you carefully placed your hands on his face, he seemed to be avoiding your eyes and you somehow knew exactly why.
“Is that blood Eli?” You questioned harshly, you knew that when you both moved to New Orleans that the witch community wasn’t exactly fond of the Mikaelson family however the lacerations on Elijahs side didn’t seem to be healing and this has been an all time low for them, never had the witches hurt them so badly they couldn’t heal it. You were on relatively good terms with all of the witches however seeing your husband in this state all you could hear was your heart pounding and your blood boiling.
Elijah looks almost embarrassed as he utters a small “No?” You sigh and shake your head with a small smile, your husband would always be the one trying to make you laugh even if he did seem like he was bleeding out.
“That isn’t normally a question you answer with another question darling” all he does is smile back innocently.
“Cmon let’s get you cleaned up” you motion for him to sit on the couch as Hayley ends up attending to Nik as he grumbled about the ‘stupid witches’. You just sigh and look at Elijah pointedly
“You can’t keep running head first into ever fight that Nik picks so you can save him, it’s not safe” you tell him as you brush his hair out of his face to clean the small scratches surrounding his eyes.
“I know my love, he’s my brother, I simply can’t let him get himself in trouble, I made a vow to my mother to always protect him and it is what I plan to do as long as I’m alive, alongside you of course” you can’t help but smile at his loyalty to his family, you know it hasn’t been easy for him and Nik to gain back their mutual trust of one another especially after decades of daggers and heartbreak however for the most part they seem to have moved past all of that.
“I love you Eli, I can’t stand to see you hurt” He can feel your worry and although he and you both know he will continue to put himself in harms way to save Nik he hugs you and mumbles affirmations that he will try harder and be safer when he travels with Nik. You can’t ask for much more and you know that so as you both make your way to Freya’s room so that she can heal Eli’s wounds you squeeze his hand as a reminder he’s okay and Freya will most likely know how to heal him.
After the quick visit of Freya healing his wounds and researching about the kind of magic used by the witches that was somehow strong enough to hurt an original you both lay in you shared room.
“Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we were never turned?” You turn to him in confusion, you had been one of the first vampires that Elijah had turned after his mother had used to spell however even after decades of being together you always thought that you were both content with how life was. “Sometimes, but I am quite happy with how we are right now…Are you not?” You admit and question almost insecurely.
As if Elijah has read your thoughts he backtracks “No no no, my love I just meant that I would have wished for us to have a family of our own, little children for us to take care of and I am sorry that I can’t give that to you” you feel tears welling up at the thought of what your life could have been. You grasp Elijah’s face in your hands and assure him that you are perfectly happy with how things have played out.
“Even if you hadn’t turned me with you Elijah I would have been heartbroken to see you outlive me, you have been my rock and compass our entire lives, seeing you daggered by Niklaus only ever brought great heartache to me, so please don’t think for a moment that this life has not been more than enough, I will always choose you over and over again my love” You can feel his smile as you rest your head on his chest.
“Do you remember the 20’s? Where we had gone to that jazz club with Niklaus? We had just changed our names and anytime someone spoke to us we would make up elaborate stories of where we came from, we spent the entire night dancing and once we got home you told me that you loved me and that you wish we could have had that life-“
“You proposed to me that night and promised you would show me the world”
“I plan to keep that promise everyday we have each other”
“I love you Elijah Mikaelson”
“I love you more Y/N Y/L/N”
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Note
AITA for kicking someone from my server and not explaining why?
(emojis so I can find later: 🪨🪨🪨)
[This happened a few years ago, but I’ll write the ages as they were at the time.]
I (14M) made a server for a fandom I was in. It was a small fandom (I was mutuals with every single fan on tumblr) so I thought it’d be nice to have a place we can all talk other than the tumblr dashboard. This was also not my first server — I had 2 or 3 years of experience running them (having run a server with 100ish members a year or two beforehand) so I was fully confident in my ability to run a server with less than 20 people, especially since everyone knew each other and was friends already.
Now, there was this person in the server, we’ll call her B (16F). I wasn’t super close with her, but ofc I was friends with her through the fandom. We didn’t talk much — the only time I can recall us speaking outside of discord was to send fandom art requests to each other. Obviously I didn’t have a problem with her coming in, but as she spoke more in my server, I started to question whether she was somebody I wanted hanging around.
I won’t go into full depth of things she said or did (both for privacy’s sake and to keep things brief), but I’ll explain my biggest reasons for kicking her.
First, she vented a lot, which typically I wouldn’t judge, but I really didn’t want a fandom server associated with so much negativity — and not only that, but the way she vented was very… I mean, we would be telling her things she did wrong in general channels, and then she would go to the vent channel and say things like “I’m sorry I’m so stupid and such a bad person I didn’t know what I was doing wrong.” and then we’d (well, everybody else — I don’t play these games with people) all have to console her. Not only that, but she’d vent about shit like — “I’m such a bad person because I’m cis. I’m sorry for being cis.” In a server full of trans people.
Second was her ableism towards autistic people, in a server also full of autistic people (This is honestly the biggest thing I had against her). Since most of us were autistic, we headcanoned most (if not all) of the characters in the series as autistic, usually with little basis in canon. One person specifically said “I think X character is autistic” and most people agreed, until she came along and said “No, they’re too normal.” We were all kind of like “???” until somebody said “Autistic people are normal” and she said “No, they’re all learning disabled” and some other stuff I don’t remember off the top of my head. (Obviously nothing wrong with having learning disabilities and many autistic people do have them etc, it’s just the way she went about saying what she said — and also disagreeing with a harmless headcanon because a character was too “normal” to be autistic). Again, most of us are autistic and were offended by what she said.
These were the two biggest contributors as to why I kicked her from my server — there were more (usually smaller) things she did that made people uncomfortable or pissed me off, but again, I’m not going to mention everything.
So, I silently kicked her, not wanting to cause too much drama, but also fed up with her behavior. I think I also softblocked her on tumblr, not wanting us to be mutuals or friends anymore but also not seeing a block as necessary (I didn’t mind if she saw my fandom posts in the tag, for example). However, she ended up following me back and sent me an ask asking why she was kicked from the server. I believe I told her “I don’t owe you an explanation, I just didn’t want you there anymore”. I didn’t want to say “you did this, this, and this” and just have her say “I didn’t do that/That wasn’t a big deal” and turn it into an entire argument, you know? I also just didn’t want to talk to her at all. So after answering, I softblocked her again and she sent me a long rant calling me a bitch, to which I simply hardblocked her.
I’m pretty sure I was justified in kicking her from my server, but I’m not sure if I’m justified in not telling her why — I understand being confused and demanding an answer but I also know she’d been told off multiple times — and I still don’t think she’s owed a response. Maybe if we were closer friends, I would have explained why. But I don’t know. Am I the asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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beastofburdenxo · 6 months
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Raising Catherine Chapter 4
True feelings have come out, and Tommy takes what is his.
SMUT MINORS DNI 2.1k words. Tags: Fingering, praise, dirty talk, possessive Tommy, multiple orgasms, P in V, unprotected sex, first time, pet names, innocence kink
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Tommy didn’t sleep well that night, but that is nothing new. He kept his arm around his girl all night, keeping her close. Part of him was relieved that the feelings he had were mutual, the other part he felt like such a dirty old man. In a way, things were even more complicated now. Now what? Do they date now? After pretty much raising her? Do they get married? Do they keep this a secret? How will the family take this? He didn’t know what to do. He partly hoped that she doesn’t remember what happened last night, and things can be somewhat normal, for her anyways. Things will never be the same for Tommy now regardless. Catherine moves in her sleep, turning towards tommy now. She wiggles closer to him, putting her head on his bare chest with a sigh. She softly kisses his chest, “Are you awake Tommy?” she gently asks. He strokes her hair. “Now you know the answer to that love, I don’t sleep much. How are you feeling?”  
“I’m alright I guess; I slept like the dead. My head feels funny though.” Tommy chuckles, “That’s the whiskey for you, I’m just glad you're not sick to your stomach.” he pauses, deciding the route he should go with this, “You remember your party, don’t you? Or did Arthur have you three sheets to the wind?” he joked. “No, I remember it. The pretty cake Polly made, the music, the dancing. I remember climbing into bed with you and you were all grumpy about it.” She averted her eyes, not wanting to say more in case it was all a drunken dream. He showed her his hand, “I broke a pen all over me, and you tried to clean me up half asleep and drunk.” he smiled, kissing her forehead, “I believe the rest of it I'll have to just wear off.” He notices her faraway look, and nudges her, “Hey now, what it is?” Catherine lets out a shaky breath. “Did I do something wrong last night, Tommy? I feel like something happened. I remember feeling really good in your bed, and you came out of nowhere, and you were all happy....” 
Tommy grabs her chin, making eye contact. “You did nothing wrong, sweetheart. I promise. You just had a happy dream about me last night, and I accidentally walked in on it. No big deal, you are a big girl now, it’s normal.” Her face turns crimson imagining what Tommy walked in on. Tommy holds her tight, whispering, “You looked so pretty love, like an angel. I didn’t want to scare you, so I let you have your moment. When I heard my name come out of your mouth, it felt like my body was on fire. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. So innocent for me. Oh, Cathy, I love you so much. You have no idea.” Silent tears fell down Catherine’s cheeks at his confession. “I love you too, Tommy. I've wanted you since I was 16. No other man cares about me like you do. You are always there, for whatever I need. I’d be so good to you, Tommy. I’ll take care of the house, the cooking, hell I'll even light your smokes for you...” Tommy interjects, wiping the tears from her eyes, “What are you telling me, Cathy love?” Sniffling, she replies, “I’m telling you I don’t want no other man, Tommy, I want you. I don’t want to leave here and marry off; I want to be your little girl forever. Please keep me, Tommy. Please.”  
Tommy sits up, pulling her onto his lap, “You’ll always be my little girl, no matter what. Honestly, I've been dreading the day that you would leave me. If being by my side would make you happy, then you’ve got it. It's an honor and privilege taking care of you, love, and I'll do it till the day I die. You do realize that this isn’t normal right? That people will talk?” Cathy buries her face in the crook of his neck, “People already talk, Tommy, I hear it. And I don’t care. I really don’t. Why do you think the townspeople leave me alone? Because I belong to you, Tommy Shelby.” Tommy gently pulls her face towards his own, lips almost touching, “Say that again, sweetheart.” She gazes into his bright electric eyes, “I belong to you, Tommy Shelby. I am yours.” She leans forward, their lips finally touching. A soft moan comes out of Tommy, finally this is happening. Her kisses are just as sweet as she is. After a while of passionate making out, she breaks apart from his mouth, “That was my first kiss, you know.” She shyly admits with a giggle. He kisses her neck, making his way up to her ear. The fact that he will be her first everything is extremely arousing to him. She really does belong to him, now and forever. He purrs in her ear, “Did you like it love?” With a gasp at feeling his mouth on her earlobe, she replies, “Yes, Tommy.” He moans in her neck at her admission, “There is so much more to enjoy with me, love. Can I make you feel good?” 
Her hips aimlessly grind on his leg at his words, dying for friction. “Yes, but I don’t know what to do, you’ll have to help me.” Her lack of experience is making her nervous now. Tommy rubs her sides as he is back to kissing her pretty face, “It’s okay, I've got you sweetheart. Just enjoy me, I'll do all the work, love. Here, let me help you out.” He grabs her hips and moves her back and forth on his leg with more pressure than before. Nice and slow, she is already leaking onto his leg, and he can feel it. His face moves to her chest, inches from her hard nipples, demanding attention. “Does that feel good?” he asks her. She is in her own little world, so he doesn’t get a reply. The look of total pleasure on her face is answer enough. With a chuckle he mumbles to himself, “I’ll take that as a yes.” as he takes her nipple in his mouth. The new sensation brings her back to reality as she grips his hair with a cry of his name. Between his soaked leg, and hearing her whimper his name, it takes everything in him not to come in his pants. “Oh god, you're so wet for me, I think you are ready for more aren’t you? Raise up a little love, let me give you some more.”  
She shakily raises up, as his hand goes between her legs, pushing her panties to the side. “I’m going to gently put one finger inside love, and you are going to move up and down it. Just ride my finger for me, okay? Can you do that sweetheart?” She nods as she kisses him with need. His strong finger gently slides into her, her walls fluttering at the intrusion. “That’s it love, good job. So warm and wet for me, just like that.” he moans, “Ride my fingers angel, you can do it.” Catherine slowly moves up and down, getting used to this new sensation. Tommy’s finger feels so good inside her, she wants more though. He looks at her face full of lust for him, “I think you can take another one, don’t you?” He slides another finger in, she gasps at the filling stretch. “Just ride my fingers, sweetheart, let it feel good. This is all for you.” She moves with more confidence at his encouragement. Tommy is watching her in amazement. “Such a pretty girl for me. That's it, love, do what feels good to you.” His thumb finds her clit, gently rubbing her as she rides. She lets out a long moan as her thighs begin to shake. “T-T-Tommy...” She sputters out as her high begins to build. “Yes, sweetheart, I'm right here. Let it go. Let it all go.” He growls in her ear at feeling her squeeze his fingers, “I’ve got something even bigger for you love, I'm all yours. Let me have it sweetheart, let it go.”  
Catherine falls apart at his words, collapsing into his chest. Tommy wraps his other arm around her as his fingers stay inside her. She cries his name repeatedly, as she comes all over his lap. “Yes, angel, there you go. I know you needed that, huh?” He gently pushes her onto the bed, as he takes what little clothes she still has on off her body. “You are so beautiful, all for me, right?” She jerks slightly in aftershocks of her orgasm, face flushed in pleasure. “Yes, Tommy, all for you. I’m all for you, all yours.” Tommy takes his pants off and kneels in front of Catherine, his hard cock throbbing for her, pointing at his navel. He slowly strokes it, as Catherine can’t take her eyes away from it. “This is what you do to me, love.” he moans, “This is what you do. You turn me on so bad, you have no idea, sweetheart.” She opens her legs as he comes nearer. Both are dripping in need for each other, as she reaches out to touch him. “No sweetheart, don’t touch,” he tells her, “I won’t last with your soft little hands, I must be inside you. You can touch me all you want later, okay?” She smiles up at him, as he raises one of her legs to his hip. She is fully exposed to him now, as he takes his cock and rubs it between her lips and on her clit. They both moan at the touch. “Tommy... it feels so big. It won’t fit!” He bends down to kiss her lips, holding her face. “Yes, it will love, I'll be gentle I promise. You can do it, you’re my girl right? All mine?”  
“Yes, all yours, Tommy.” She gasps as the head enters her, stretching her more than his fingers ever could. She claws at his shoulders as the discomfort rises. “Easy, sweetheart, I've got you. It's okay,” he coos as he gives her gentle kisses, “Such a big girl for me, my big girl.” He rubs her thighs to distract her from the pain. “Tommy... it hurts!” Catherine cries, as he is almost fully inside her. “I know baby, I'm sorry. You are just so little. Do you want me to stop? The worst part is almost over.” Tommy kisses her neck as the last inch is finally inside. “There you go, sweetheart, I'm in. You did so good for me, love. Such a good girl.” Tommy stays still, letting her get used to him, giving her praises and kisses to help relax her. “Oh, angel, you feel so good. So little wrapped around me. My big girl, all for me. Relax, sweetheart. I’m right here, I've got you, forever. I'm not going anywhere.” Catherine finally relaxes at the intrusion, gazing into his loving ocean eyes as he stays inside her. She strokes his sharp cheekbones, “I’m okay, Tommy, you can move now.” With a deep passionate kiss, he slowly pulls halfway out and slowly back in. Tommy moans her name, “You take me so well, fuck. I’ll do anything to take care of you, I promise, I'd kill for you, love, you know that?” All Catherine can do is moan and say his name, the new sensations overwhelming her small body.  
“All mine, you're my girl, no one else will have you. You belong to me, I'm the only man that can make you feel like this. I’m the only one that can make you come like this. Do you hear me, love?” He growls as he hits that undiscovered spot inside her. “Yes, Tommy, yes, I’m all yours, all yours. Please Tommy, I love you!” Catherine’s back arches as she comes for the second time that morning, screaming his name. “Oh fuck, I love you too!” Tommy hit his release, tears in his eyes at how good it feels. She has been officially claimed by Tommy Shelby, she is his and he is hers, now and forever. He gently pulls out of her sore body, pulling her to him. “That was even more amazing than I could have ever imagined,” Tommy mumbled sleepily, “I love you, Cathy. You aren’t going anywhere now, most definitely. You are more addicting than any opium.” He kisses her forehead, as she chuckles, “You can’t get rid of me Mr. Shelby even if you wanted to, you are forever stuck with me, you said it yourself! I don’t want anyone else.” She rubs his sweaty chest as they both drift off to sleep. Just how it should be, Tommy and his little girl. Forever.  
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