#no one look at me okay im too tired
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a redraw of ‘lament for icarus’ by herbert james draper ✷
#mine#heheHEHEHE#this was a little tricky to figure out colour wise but i did it!!#orange overlay orange multiply my beloved#also made him trans bc. i can.#DONT look at the rocks too hard okay i. i was tired by that point#and the water also thats meant to be a straight line some how it is diagonal#they are going downhill its fine#owhh today we went to a stately home bc my mum got national trust membership heehe#my god that was a home. i havent been to one like it there was a huge hallway#im talking like. very large. lined w tapestries n paintings#i like. wanna learn how to oil paint low key high key. its not rlly a good time for me to learn that now but....one day#i gotta figure out portraits first hehe#i want to draw. realistic. portraits. bring my gcse art dream to life#i think i can do that. it will just..take time. idk how to learn that skajfbsdjkbs#n also need to find my way of doing it artistic language etc etc#ihg my leggies hurt. lots of walking#im going to play some hollow knight i think then go 2 bed#tomorrow is turning into a house task day it seems. maybe i will also try 2 figure out portrait hehe#i'll add id tomorrow!!
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♡♡♡ Happy Valentine’s Day from Kaathe and Belphegor ( •v-ॢ )~♡♡♡
#valentines day#obey me#happy valentine's day#a belated one i know;;#lovecore#om#om belphegor#obey me belphie#belphie x mc#i tried so hard to get this done yesterday but no dice#that being said im happy with how this turned out!!#I think they look cute okay???#kaathe looks tired like meee#i wanted to draw them smoochin too but so tired#nuther day#obey me mc
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we deserved to see more of them together
#my art#into the spider verse#miles morales#Aaron Davis#the prowler#into the spider-verse spoilers#itsv spoilers#hi cream#your drawing really inspired me….I hope that’s okay……………#looks at you with my giant wet eyes#anyways. if anyone hasn’t read puppyblue’s spiderverse fics on ao3. do that#specifically ”all because of you (i do right)”#they’re a family. you get it? do you understand?#yeah i fucked up the first version and didnt realize it until it was too late dont look at me .#everyone please pretend its always been this fixed one. im tired
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Hbubhhuhub. Rais ea suillen
#EDIT I FORGOT IF MASUKI WEARS A DRESS OR PANTS AND I FUCKING GUESSRF WRONG NO!!!!!!!!!#WAS DRAWING IT THINKING THIS DRESS WOULD LOOK SO MUCH COOLEF IF THEY WERE PANTS. GUESS WHAT.#masuki. masuki. masuki 5 star where are you.#bandori#raise a suilen#art tag#oh my god i have to tag them all. all of thrm. dear lord.#chu2#pareo#rokka asahi#masuki satou#rei wakana#i couldbe just added bandori to the end its ok. too late. hehe#im reading through all the ras stories on eng then ill move on to the single event not on eng#last one was the waterpark next is band story 2….. wish me luck………..#i couldnt draw reis face here idk why…. ive drawn it well before this one in particular just broke me fsr#i could say so many thingd abt ras rn but im tired so i wont#i listened to their music for 5 hours today. raychells singing drives me insane#okay thats all bue bey#chiyu tamade#reona nyubara#<- I FORGTO okay bye
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It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care
#vent ig#i wish i could#but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i#wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the#short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent#but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar#and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie#we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant#the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and#'im not even remotely interested by any of you'#its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT#NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up#on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.)#anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point)#am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as#a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened#i hate feeling apathetic#and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them#cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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Woagh what? Biblically accurate Cecil?
Hello Jon. Apologies for the deception: I'm not actually a rabbit/deer void thing.
Doing a teeny tiny little... thing (not really a study, just a test) on. My actual appearance because. Idk, I've been liking it a lot more recently. (<- got called sir on the bus twice today. felt good.)
Also yes that IS meant to be a wolf shirt, I bought it when I was 13 okay, let a tboy live— (the fact it still fits is proof I haven't grown at all)
And now for the list of every character/person my girlfriend says my average white boy ass looks like /hj
Secondary piece for reference
Cashew (Blush Blush): Yeah I can't deny this one. I'm a standard average sized blondish-brunette white boy, it's unfortunately uncanny... and also the college thing too I guess.
Kim (Omori): ... I don't get this one. I really don't. Maybe hoodie era? Otherwise it's just the glasses.
Wheatley (Portal): No Comment.
Martin (TMA): But I apparently also sound like Jon? [confused cryptid radio show host noises]
Whatever THESE mean
No seriously what do these mean—
Mari wants me to add this one: "you look like a youth pastor."
anyway feel free to add onto this list (/J)
#c1nn4bunny.png#i have no tags to add to this since its just. me#not even my sona just me.#absolutely earth shattering that im NOT an shapeshifting void roseboy irl right? sorry u _ u#my hair is sunbleached so uh. thats why its darker towards the roots#havent died it in a while.#last time was entirely blue ... the dark ages /j#on a note: drawing my gap has honestly made me a lot more comfortable with it#its not like I hated it. i was entirely neutral and if anything annoyed at people trying to get me to do cosmetic procedures to 'fix' it#(spoiler: they wouldn't anyway) but like. normalising it for myself. its cute and adds a bit of uniqueness to me I think. :]#already draw my random scars and specific darker freckles so why not the gap too y'know?#helps to feel comfier in my own skin :3#also this was colour picked EXACTLY from a pic I took of myself specifically for this. same pose too.#anyway back to drawing myself as a silly bunny thang in every other context specificallyselfshippingiamsosorrymybrainisinfestedrn#lmao wait also elaborating on the 'looks constantly worried' point#I was on the bus a month ago and this guy asked if I was alright. I apparently look constantly on the verge of a panic attack. wonderful.#rbf? no no. i have rff (resting fear face)#there's one other guy I could add a 'oh shit I kinda look like him oh no thats awkward' to but I'd have to change the image for wheatley—#*dyed. im. tired okay
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Spent the last eleven years having to save myself, but man it would be nice if someone else cared enough to save me instead. Just once.
#im getting real sick of having to stand tall and say im okay just because no one bothers to ask how i really am#far too many are satisfied with 'Im fine' no matter how tired i look#itd be nice for someone to notice. for someone to pry the real answer out of me.#for someone to finally come along and know me well enough to know im lying#and what#until then i just have to pretend i dont want to kill myself every other day#woohoo my favourite thing ever lol
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im sorry. i lied, have a startend
#okay now im done with holo things. surely#so so tired ive been at this for way too long. agaib#startend is so funny to me im sorry#hololive#hoshimachi suisei#tokoyami towa#minato aqua#aquas the only one not in her default outfit im sorry i really didnt wanna draw her hair#i didnt wanna draw towas either but i got too lazy to look for a a different ref
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my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and
#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls#girl#and i was so tired#am so tired#i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't#i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne#i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭#just. kya batau main#i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i#liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest#i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic#everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much#draining and destroys my peace and then they leave#it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship#whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night#every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on#pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking#into a million tiny pieces everytime#i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the#sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's#she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of#i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her#but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna#die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i#need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy#does that make sense#okay bye i should really start writing a diary
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i was the only one at the fair today locally with a mask on
and as we were leaving and someone else was coming in, a dad with his probably 5 yr old daughter, he leaned over in front of my face and coughed hard on purpose
fucking jackass i hope he gets humbled so hard, and maybe hope he falls on his face on the hot pavement.
#i also used sanitizer that smelled like actual shit and it was dirty on the outside of it too and so#i was already freaking out about that#then on the way home my dad ARGUES with me bc i said food is a human right. like? ok.#yes it was about america being the only one who said No about food being a human right#he started going into conspiracy theories at me and i just#gave up.#also mentioned a guy in a movie was a white supremacist and he blew up at me too#saying instantly without looking things up that hes not#okay budy okay pal you jsut wanna take your anger out on me its cool idk why i said anything at all though#but it was of topic he was already bringing up#shame on me i guess for talking.#im so fucking tired.#also everything at the fair wasnteven set up when there was tons of people there alerady like.. jfc
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Guess whos potentially working a triple tomorrow?????????
Im going to transform into my final form if this shit keeps up i swear to god.
#summerly talks#im just. gonna have to tell my boss that. effective immediately. i cant work the weekend anymore#sad because its good money#but this is becoming a fucking pattern and if it does i may actually dive into a fission reactor while singing meltdown ;_;#like. i was okay with the double? my coworker called in because her baby was sick#and she promised me if i couldnt get anyone to cover for my am shift tomorrow she would take it#then at like 9pm i get a text saying. she cant. her baby wont let her leave#and i feel selfish because. she has a baby. but i have cats and luckily i was able to drop by today to pick up my sleepover kit#and also make sure minty had food. (fieldie has an auto feeder so hes okay)#and i just. want to go home#the reality is i cant. i cant go. not unless one of the people i texted gets back to me saying theyll come in#and no one has yet. its 11pm. no one will at this point.#im tired im tired im tired#i dont want to end up like i did at my ladt job. giving away entirely too much of me and destroying myself#ive already lost most if not all of my passion for this job#and when i was younger i dreamt of working with disabled people. i burnt too quick and now im a shell of what i was#but this is the only thing im trained for that would allow me to like. keep my home#maybe if or when i move to brisbane i can look into a different job. do an it course idk. something where there's less people skills needed#i better try to get some sleep orz tonights gonna be a bitch of a thing
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thinking abt the previous post, the agency i worked at for a couple years would use bits of ABA and I just... I always nodded along to the boss instructing me on how to work with the kids with those tactics (I worked with the kids who were 6 and under) and then as soon as she left I tossed all that shit out of my brain and just treated the kid like a human being and worked with them where they were at.
and guess what !!! i had the most and fastest success out of every other worker in the entire building!! i was often told it seemed like i was working miracles with my kids bc they'd just progress so fast (comparatively) through the skill book we had to work on, and that the kids always seemed so happy and eager to come to the building after they started working with me!!
this is partially why I quit because I couldn't stand seeing my coworkers treat the kids like they were dogs (talking down to them, being patronizing, and utilizing shitty ABA tactics) and as much good as I was doing there, it was fucking me up bc they were extremely demanding that I work more than I was comfortable (or able) to, and often put me with "problem" kids who I didn't get to regularly see so we couldn't make much progress bc the kids weren't able to get to know me and (rightfully!) didn't trust me because they thought I'd be treating them the way everyone else did.
i just...... my coworkers would ask me how I had so much success and I would just shrug and say like, "just treat them like they're human and work with them where they're at" and I couldn't explain any more bc that'd require me admitting I wasn't following the boss' guidance for a lot of shit fjfkdl
#i had kids who didn't like talking suddenly become chatterboxes bc they actually felt safe and listened to for once !!!#(and ofc some kids just didnt like talking and that was okay bc they would talk when needed but just preferred to be quiet)#also yall i had no formal training for this 😭 i was thrown into the fray one day djfkdl i was supposed to just work as an admin assistant#it was just fucking bonkers there#kids had meltdowns sometimes bc the workers were so useless and didnt take the time to learn to read the child and they'd push too much#and they did things in ways that were sooo rigid so often like... if a kid is looking tired u gotta shift ur schedule around !!#but they'd just be like noooope this is our plan and we have to stick to it#my guy!! the child looks exhausted!!! they are fucking four years old !!! what the hell are u doing!!!#no four yr old is going to ever feel okay if u keep pushing them to do stuff they dont rly want to do when theyre tuckered out!!#anyways i could rant for hours abt that place lmfao#i still think abt the kids so often esp some of the ones with rough home lives#and i just rly rly hope theyre doing okay#but i cannot go back and help again bc that place destroyed me gjfkdl i hit autistic burnout HARD while there#and thats what ultimately forced me to quit#otherwise i probably would've stayed bc i rly wanted to give these kids someone safe to be around esp if their homes werent a v safe place#idk its so hard bc one person can't change the entire way things are (esp since i had no formal training)#but also if im not there then i know nobody else there is going to be knocking ABA to the side and treating the kids like whole ass humans!#eugh i hate thinking abt it bc I just... what the fuck do u do with a situation like that lmfao#i miss those kids sm though fjfkdl theyre all so cool and fun and rly good kids#i hope good things happen to them :')#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#ableism tw#aba tw
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🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 (jk U can only do one 😂)
If he were to see the monstrosity that is the Fentonworks building in Gotham, there wouldn’t be a doubt in his mind that that right there is a villain’s lair.
From the Mistaken Jason wip!
send me a🌹for a random sentence in a random wip!
#dpxdc#i need to think of a title for this silly little piece because it'll be going on ao3 when its done#which will be soon!!!!#please let it be soon 🙏😔#you really knocked it out with cetbwa babe help me out with this one please and thank#also............ also..... do u wanna read it?#do u wanna. will u. will u do me the honour of beta-ing my fic please?#it's nowhere near done tbf but i am Stumped!#Okay lmao i think ive fixed this now. i dont know what happened to me (i am So Tired) but i misread the post so badly#sO BadlY!!#and cocked up my reply ridiculously#but also if i were to do each and every rose part of me would find it so funny to post like 6 random unconnected sentences#im not gonna#but it would be so funny#ANYWAY#as per usual thank you my lovely ily 🩷🩷🩷#(look!! im really making use of the pink heart emoji!!! 🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷 FUCK I FORGOT THERE WAS A GREY ONE 🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶)#(the grey one is kinda dark idk if i like it. the lighter one is too white tho 🤔 🩶🤍 split the difference please!)#anyway this got wildly off topic#thank u love u goodnight!!#5!! 5 random sentences from 5 random wips!!!#gdi i wish id done it now lmao#im going to bed#NVM I SENT SOMEONE A ROSE FOR THIS ASK AND THEY REPLIED WITH ONE SENTENCE FROM EVERY SINGLE WIP THEY HAVE#im gonna do that instead now#the fucking chaos#thats the chaos i aspire to sow in my wake
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I started a piece of art today which is based on some plant species* that I think would be good to colonize Tim in @gunpowder-tim’s headcanon of the Persephone Tim headcanon; so it’s art based on a headcanon of a headcanon of a headcanon 😅 [sweat simle emoji].
It’s gonna take a long time I think, but I am planning on posting it here even though it’s just gonna be plants and no Tim (because I am much better at drawing these little doodle plants than drawing people).
*so the art is basically of real species we have on Earth, but I maintain that they wouldn’t have the same plants on the City, so in my brain his plants are just similar to these ones.
#i don’t know if i should main tag this. thats always hard for me to tell#persephone tim#i am taking a break now because for some reason it took me almost 4 hours to paint some ghost pipe.#i am researching more species too. im looking at a lot of liverworts. but they are ‘obscure’ enougb thats its not always easy to find if-#they are parasitic or not. i know *some* species of liverwort are. and depending on how im able to draw them i might include non-parasitic-#species because i need the space filled a particular way#im also tired because i stayed up until after 6 am and then didn’t take my sleep meds (because it was 6 am)#oh there’s also gonns be some mushrooms included#ive explained it before but basically the fungus being an intermediary is a thing we see in real life (although not between plants and-#animals afaik) and it makes sense because fungi are closer related to animals than to plants.#now i suppose thats not necessarily true on the City. because we dont know if they are homo sapiens or not (this would make possible-#implications for the other life on the plant). however for now I have no hcs regarding that. its easiest to go with their life works the-#same as ours. but their species are different if for no other reason because of evolution (over time)#well thats whats easiest and most interesting and fun *to me* which i realize is because i am a biologist and happen to also crave as much-#scientific accuracy as possible. but thats not everyones cup of tea. not everyone wants to spend hours searching about different parasitic-#plants to choose one for this and learn about how they interact and what not. probably *most* people wouldnt think this hard about it.#and that’s okay too. if you like to make up your own plants whole cloth and not worry about it aligning with realy world biology. thats-#okay too. do what you like.#(unless you are a tv/movie/book/etc which is supposed to be set in our world on our earth. YOU CANT MAKE APE/WORM HYBRIDS! for crissakes)#hope its okay i tagged you gunpowder-tim#also sorry to everyone for how much i ramble in the tags. i have adhd and keeping 1 try of though is nigh on impossible#like this: nigh means near. so nigh on impossible is nearly impossible. but one way of defining nigh is approaching. then its approaching-#impossible. which makes me think of math. ‘as x approaches infinity;’ ‘as y approaches impossible’#there have a little language and math too with your dose of spec bio explanation#(the ape/worm thing is a reference to an early x-files episode that i have complained about in tags before)
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if I try to mess with the eyes on the first one anymore I'm going to lose my mind DBDNDML so here have some self insert art,,,, also the houndoom was largely copied from someone else's art (dvixie/SkyVixie on deviantart, the art seems to have been taken down from their gallery though, I just found the art on pinterest and then had to track down the artist fjfkdl idk why ppl repost art with no credit 😭), I was trying to just get a feel for drawing them so I figured (HEAVILY) referencing someone else's piece would be alright for this sort of personal art thing!!
#aaaand I'll turn off rbs too djdksl i dont want to take any credit for that houndoom#i changed a couple minor things but dbfkdl it rly is just me looking at that other person's art and trying to draw it myself#it was good for getting a feel for how to draw them though!!! this was before the other art featuring houndoom i did a while ago#so i think it helped a lot to be able to draw houndoom again on my own this time fjfkdjdl#gave me a feel for placement and anatomy and whatnot#i know copying is largely considered to be Bad in the art community but if u do it the right way i think it can be beneficial to ur art#u just have to be careful and not claim credit for it fjdkl like... idk be smart and respectful#i think this is the first time I've ever done smth like this actually SNDKSL#the closest i get to copying is using free-to-use pose bases occasionally and even then i sometimes clarify in the tags that im using one#every day i fear someone will walk up and show all the drawings I've used free-to-use pose bases for#and be like AHA. I'VE FOUND YOU OUT. YOU'RE A FAKE ARTIST!!!!#and its like... no... i just like using free-to-use pose bases sometimes DBDJDKL#takes out the work of figuring out posing sometimes when im tired of coming up w my own fjfkdl#ANYWAYS. RAMBLE OVER SORRY SNDJFKDL#moral of the story: if u copy art just do it in a respectful and clear way and don't take credit for it when its not yours sbdjdksl#okay im going to skedaddle off this post before i stick my foot in my mouth if i havent already djdkdls WAUGH i am afraid of posting this#but i want to share self insert stuff somewhere sjfjdkl and i like the human posing i did on the second one so... SIGH.#dandy.cmd#doodlebug.png#junebug 🪲
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