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whumpmatsus · 3 years

Note

Hmm could do one where one one of boys has rough day, that leads to emotional overeating, and bellyache that they try to hide until they can't. Please and thank.

aaaaaa, lovely!

I went with Totty because it feels like I haven't written him in a while

and there's a tiny bit of Allmatsu, buuuut really it's mostly Cybermatsu :D

hope you like it, I had a lot of fun with it!

Most of the time, Totty thinks he does a pretty good job being composed at work.

However, that’s easy to do when the majority of the days are okay. Sometimes there’s a bad moment or two that he can recover from by the time he gets home; never before has it been an entire day full of nothing but bad moments.

Until today, of course.

It’s just been one awful thing after another. One of his brothers accidentally turned off the alarm clock, probably by hitting it or steadying themself against it while going to the bathroom… so he was late to work. When he finally got behind the register, there was already a decent-sized line and the early morning customers were irritable before their coffee. Nearly every single customer during his shift snapped at him in some way even when he was trying to be helpful.

His coworkers were less than pleasant, especially after a couple hours when one of them had to take over for him because he had to go pee. To make things worse, toward the end of the day he managed to smash his fingers in the cash drawer while closing it.

The highlight of the day was when he was on his way out and a customer wanted help. Company policy being that he wasn’t allowed to work in any way while he was off the clock, he told them he was actually heading home and pointed to one of his coworkers. Which apparently wasn’t good enough, as he was accused of being lazy and not wanting to do his job and told that the customer was going to talk to his manager and have him fired.

Is it any wonder he’s spent almost the whole train ride home in tears? It hasn’t been a great day to be Matsuno Todomatsu.

He feels a little better by the time he gets home, but he’s exhausted and overwhelmed by everything that went wrong. Part of him wants to find one of his brothers and bitch his heart out. The other part just wants to shove food into his mouth and pretend none of it ever happened.

Sutabaa allows employees to eat some of the cheap things for free during their break, which Totty doesn’t often take advantage of. He’d rather have a snack at home so he doesn’t have to scarf it down in ten minutes. Today, though, he managed to put away a chocolate croissant plus a couple of cookies, so he shouldn’t be hungry at all when he gets home.

And he’s not… really hungry. He just wants to eat something for the sake of it, so that maybe eating something tasty will make it seem like nothing went wrong today. The food during his break made things seem better for a minute while he ate it. All he wants is more of that feeling, to make believe it wasn’t such a bad day.

He doesn’t know where any of his brothers are, and he doesn’t particularly care. He doesn’t think he’d give half a shit if one of them walked in on him raiding the fridge and pantry as if he’s preparing to hibernate through the winter. They all stuff their faces at any available opportunity, so why would it be surprising to find him doing it, especially after a long day at work which none of the rest of them do?

It doesn’t even really matter to him what he’s eating, either. Just things that don’t require too much time between being in his hand and sliding down his throat.

There’s about a portion’s worth of takoyaki left in the fridge from dinner last night, so he finishes that off. Some daifukumochi that was in the cabinet, along with a packet of konpeitō. A bag of arare disappears pretty quickly, too. He doesn’t really know if the imagawayaki that was sitting on the counter was left for him or if it was a single treat that nobody had fought over yet ― regardless, he eats it anyway.

Each bite is a violent attempt to deny the shittiness of this whole day. It all tastes delicious, so he can lose himself inside it for a moment. What never really occurs to him is that every moment doesn’t last too long, and even though his stomach isn’t built for this kind of eating, he’s reaching for another snack as soon as the last one has dissolved on his tongue.

He throws packaging away as he goes, just to keep things neat. He’s just biting into his latest snack when someone else walks into the kitchen, and looking up, it turns out to be Choromatsu.

“O-oh, hey, Totty, you’re home. How was work?” He starts ducking into the refrigerator, then suddenly straightens up and gives his youngest brother a curious look. “… Uh. That’s my Big Katsu. Why are you eating it??”

Given that his teeth are currently sunk into it, Totty feels a little guilty. So at least he doesn’t have to fake the expression on his face. “Oh… sorry, Choro-nii-san! I’m just really hungry… I’ll buy you another one tomorrow.”

After a moment, Choromatsu sighs, evidently deciding to let Totty off the hook rather than fight with him about it. “Yeah, that’s fine. I was saving it, but if I haven’t craved it this long, I can wait. There’s other stuff I can have for a snack.” He opens the refrigerator door and pulls out a single mini carton of milk, then frowns. “Hey, wasn’t there some leftover takoyaki in here?”

He huffs as he closes the fridge. “Dammit. Osomatsu probably ate the rest of it while I wasn’t paying attention, the douche.”

He shakes his head and gets in the pantry for a bag of potato chips instead. “Guess these’ll do till dinner. Hey, Totty, you’re probably still hungry, right? Why don’t you share with me? I’m not starving or anything… half a bag would do it for me, I think.”

Totty’s stomach twinges suddenly, alerting him that he may have eaten too much. He’s not used to shoveling down this much at one time, though the realization that he’s uncomfortably full doesn’t stop him from hurriedly cramming the rest of the Big Katsu into his mouth.

And, honestly, it’s not like he can say no to the offer. He just told his big brother he was hungry and he’s been gulping down food at an insatiable pace. Thinking about the taste of potato chips sort of makes him want some.

Plus… Choromatsu is being nice by sharing, despite the fact that Totty already took one of his snacks without even asking. It would be mean to turn that down when he’s just trying to make sure Totty gets fed properly.

So he plasters a smile on and tosses the wrapper before stepping toward his older brother. Everything’s fine. “Ah, yeah… sounds good.”

Everything is not fine.

Dinner is beginning to be a struggle to get through. Totty hates wasting the food, but his thought is to put it away for later when his stomach isn’t actively trying to kill him. The pain is different to anything he’s ever experienced, a feeling like he’s full all the way up to his chest and so can’t get a decent breath in. He feels cold and clammy even though he knows he’s sweating. In short, it sucks.

The one thing he counted on was his brothers not noticing that he wasn’t eating anything. After sharing the chips with Choromatsu, he started to feel like he was going to burst. Even though the sensation quieted down a little bit, it never quite went away.

Now that he’s been faced with a table full of food, it’s even worse. His stomach is gurgling and swirling and nothing helps. Not taking deep breaths through his nose, not taking tiny sips of his tea, not focusing on any other thoughts. Nothing. It’s all useless. He thinks that as soon as dinner is over, he’s gonna have to go throw up. No ifs, ands, or buts; one way or another, he’s gonna be sick.

His only hope now is that he can ride it out long enough for everyone to head their separate ways so he doesn’t have to face the humiliation of admitting that he ate too much and hurt his stomach.

“U-uh, Totty,” Choromatsu speaks up suddenly, “aren’t you gonna eat anything? You were hungry enough to eat my Big Katsu earlier, I’d have thought you were really looking forward to dinner.”

Ugh. Did he have to???

Totty forces a smile onto his face. “Oh, yeah, I… I guess I’m just not in the mood for this stuff tonight, you know?”

The look on Osomatsu’s face could be mistaken for someone who’d just swallowed a lemon. “What?! But Totty, this is your favorite! You’re not gonna eat any of it? You can’t just skip meals like that, dude.”

“Yeah,” Ichimatsu hums thoughtfully. “You’re not gonna be any more healthy or attractive if you’re starving, you know.”

Geez. His brothers are so fucking embarrassing. Choromatsu is giving him some backhanded concern, Osomatsu is overzealous as usual, and Ichimatsu sounds like a Goddamn after-school special.

Karamatsu, meanwhile, is scrutinizing him just the same. “Yes, Totty, my brother… you look rather pale. You really should eat something!”

“Yeah, yeah!” Jyushimatsu practically launches himself over the table, holding a bite of food from his own plate between chopsticks toward his little brother’s mouth. “Here! Winding up for the pitch… batter uuuuuup!”

“Ughhhhh!” Totty leans back, even though any movement unsettles his stomach further. “You guys are ridiculous! I’m fine! W-what, am I not allowed to have just lost my appetite without every single one of my big brothers making a federal case of it?!”

All the others share a silent look, then there comes a unanimous, “Nope.”

He groans and leans his arm against the table. Shit, it’s getting worse. All he wants to do is run to the bathroom and puke, so that maybe he’ll actually feel better. If he does that, though, everyone will be on his case about how much he ate instead of how little he’s eating right now. He doesn’t need nor want a lecture.

Actually, what he wants more than anything is to just be taken care of and told that it’s okay, he screwed up a bit, it’s not the end of the world. That would require confessing to this stupid mistake, though… and he really doesn’t want to do that. He’s so sure that if he does, he’s just going to get scolded instead of comforted.

When he looks around the table again, he notices that Choromatsu in particular looks worried. “C’mon, Totty. You know we care about you. Osomatsu and Ichimatsu are right; it’s not healthy to skip meals.”

“Dammit, I know that, Fappymatsu! Just because I’m pretty doesn’t mean I’m stupid.” Totty scowls down at the food before lifting his eyes back up. “If I take one bite, will you all get off my back?”

He hates that those words just came out of his mouth. Even if it’s just a single bite, he doesn’t think his stomach will be happy with him. The idea of eating anything isn’t sitting well with him.

What else can he do, though? Just like with literally everything else, his brothers won’t stop bugging him until he caves in and does whatever they want.

The others exchange a look and Osomatsu shrugs. “Yeah, that should do it! Maybe after you take a bite you’ll realize how good it is and how hungry you are.”

Shit. Well, now he doesn’t really have a way out.

He takes as deep a breath as he feels he can, and collects a bite of food with his chopsticks. Although he isn’t sure how noticeable it is, it feels like his hand is shaking as he raises it to his lips.

Maybe it’s better to do it fast and get it over with. So, that’s what he does. The food in his chopsticks disappears in rapid time, and even though it feels like swallowing a spoonful of glue, he manages to get it down.

“Th-there,” he announces as he slams his chopsticks down. A hiccup squeaks out of him, followed by a fist pressed to his mouth, then he glares around the table at his brothers. “Ha… happy now? God, you guys are… you’re such… such…”

His stomach roils aggressively, almost like he’s just been punched in the gut. He cuts himself off with a loud, painful belch… and whines softly, because he knows what’s coming next. There’s no possible way he can stop it, nor can he get up fast enough to make it to the bathroom.

He tries to clap his other hand over his mouth in some childish belief that if he just blocks the exit, so to speak, he won’t be sick. Predictably, it doesn’t work.

Only a second and a couple of retches later, Totty has vomited through his hands into his lap. It’s perhaps more than a little ironic that his attempt to avoid lectures and feeling shameful has led to something incredibly humiliating.

The tears well up almost immediately, and it doesn’t take long for him to be sitting here coughing, not quite knowing what to do except cry.

“A-ah, Totty!!” Someone’s up from their seat, grabbing him gently by the shoulders. It sounds like Choromatsu, he thinks. “Hey… hey, it’s okay. O-oh, no, no, guys, it’s okay ― yeah, Mom, Dad, it’s fine, I-I’ve got him. Totty, hey, c’mon. I’m gonna help you to the bathroom and we’ll get you cleaned up. Okay?”

All he can do is nod, and it seems like even the fact that he leans against Choromatsu, all streaked with puke, doesn’t bother his brother.

It’s a short walk to the bathroom. He thinks he hears one of the others getting up to clean whatever mess he’s left behind. He just concerns himself with getting into the bathroom, then with lifting his arms when told so Choromatsu can help peel the soiled clothes off.

“It’s okay, Totty. E-everything’s alright.” His voice is low and gentle as he manages to also get Totty’s pants off, hanging everything over the side of the bathtub. If he’s lucky, one of the others will come rinse them off so they can go right in the wash while he tries to take care of getting Totty situated on the couch or something. “I’m gonna take care of you. You just cry as much as you need to, as long as you cooperate with me, okay?”

Totty sniffles, doing his best to stop crying. This is so embarrassing. “O-okay…”

Eventually the crying tapers off a bit, to the point that he can breathe normally again. His mouth has a bad taste and his throat hurts; at least his stomach feels a lot better, though. He’s just so mortified that he threw up on himself in front of his entire family after trying to save himself from this fate.

What did you think was gonna happen when you ate something else after already being stuffed and nauseous, dummy?? His mind is exactly no help at all, unfortunately.

Choromatsu is careful as he tries to get his little brother cleaned. As soon as all his dirty clothes are off, he wipes a wet cloth over Totty’s mouth to wash off any remnants of vomit and helps Totty wash his hands in the sink. He holds a couple pieces of toilet paper over Totty’s nose so he can blow, which makes him feel slightly less gross.

Once there’s no more danger of new clothes having leftover puke dripped on them, he darts out to the closet in the other room and comes back with a pair of Totty’s pajamas. It feels somuch better to be in fresh clothes after Choromatsu gingerly tugs them on.

With all of that done, Choromatsu sets a hand against Totty’s forehead and gives a contemplative hum. “Well, you don’t feel warm… you might still be coming down with something, though. I think maybe you should just go right to bed. We’ll get you settled on the couch in the other room so that hopefully the rest of us don’t catch it, and I’ll get you some ginger ale or something, okay?”

The idea of all that sounds nice, sure. He feels a little guilty for not being honest, however, so… “Um, Choromatsu-nii-san… I-I’m not… I’m not sick. I… I think I ate too much today, and… that bite I took out there was just kind of… th-the last straw, you know?”

Choromatsu frowns. “You ate too much? You said you were really hungry when you got home. And all I remember seeing you eat was my Big Katsu and some of the chips.”

“I ate a lot more than that,” he confesses, rubbing at his teary eyes. “There was some stuff I had while I was at work, a-and… and I was the one who ate the last of the takoyaki. I was just going through the fridge and the cupboards for a while before you walked in.”

“Oh… okay, I get that. Why didn’t you just tell us you overate today instead of forcing yourself to eat?”

More tears bubble up and start rolling down his cheeks. “B-because… because I thought if I did, you’d all just lecture me and tell me, ‘Oh, you shouldn’t do that, Totty!’ The day was so bad already…”

The more he talks, the more tears fall. “It was just one thing a-after another! Work was shitty, everything that could go wrong did,and I didn’t want you guys harping on me! I-I know I fucked up eating a lot, but doing it just… made me feel better for a minute… like the day wasn’t so crappy, like I could pretend everything was okay because I was eating something good. So I just… d-didn’t wanna tell you guys… I-I know you’d say it’s bad for me…”

Quietly, Choromatsu pulls Totty up off the toilet and into a hug. His hand rubs calmingly between his little brother’s shoulder blades, shortly after switching to a series of pats. “Hey, you learned your lesson. I know you think we’d give you some big speech… and maybe you’re not wrong. But I’m sorry it felt like you had to hide it and suffer on your own. That’s not what we want! We just wanna take care of you. If we lecture like that, it’s just because we love you.”

“I-I know,” Totty mumbles into Choromatsu’s shoulder. “Are you… are you mad at me? For doing it in the first place and for not telling you?”

“Mad? No! No, no, no way. I’m not mad!” Choromatsu presses a brief kiss to the top of Totty’s head. “You’re my baby brother. How could I be mad at you for this? Just… you know… next time, come talk to us instead of going to the food. I’d rather listen to you complain for hours than have you eat yourself sick.”

He gives a cautious squeeze, somewhat reassured when Totty squeezes back. They stay like this for a few minutes, with Totty burying his face against Choromatsu’s shoulder and Choromatsu rubbing Totty’s back.

Finally Choromatsu lets out a sigh. “Just so you know… even if we lecture you a little, we’ll still try to take care of you if there’s anything we can do. But we’ll… also do our best not to lecture as much when you come to us. Do you feel any better?”

“Yeah… it doesn’t hurt that much anymore.” He mirrors the sigh and just sinks into his big brother’s embrace. “Can I still go lie down, though? In the futon?”

Choromatsu nods and pulls Totty up when he gets to his feet. “Yeah, of course. That’s probably a good idea even though you’re not really sick.”

“And… can I still have some ginger ale?”

“Yeah, I’ll get that for you after we get you settled.”

Totty is silent for a few seconds while they walk down the hall, then he speaks up again. “… Will you maybe stay and cuddle with me for a minute, too? Even though I’m not sick?”

Choromatsu glances down before chuckling. Does he really think he has to tack on that condition, as if Choromatsu won’t cuddle just because Totty isn’t actually sick? “I… o-of course, Totty. All you have to do is ask, even if you’re not sick.”

“Okay…” By this time they’ve reached the bedroom, so he stands aside while Choromatsu unrolls the futon. Before too long he’s lying down, and Choromatsu has both arms around him, gently stroking his hair.

He closes his eyes and nuzzles against his brother. “Thank you… you’re the best nii-chan ever.”

He can feel Choromatsu grinning. “Am I even better than leftover takoyaki?”

Totty pouts at the jab, but snuggles closer regardless. “Way better.”

#Osomatsu san #whump #Totty #Cybermatsu #vomiting #stomachache #caretaking #ughhhh TOTTY BABY WHY YOU GOTTA ALWAYS BE HIDING SHIT FROM UR BIG BROTHERS #silly boo just fess up and they'll fuss over you after a mini lecture #sweet babies <3 #Choro is such a good big brother SOBS

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theforgottendaydreamer · 4 years

Text

Haikyuu sick/hurt characters headcanons: Karasuno edition!

⚠️ sickness, injuries, phobias, allergies and correlated symptoms ahead. If these themes upset you, proceed with caution. If you use these, credit me, please. ⚠️

Sawamura Daichi:

He doesn't let anyone know when he's sick. He'll show up to practise with a fever of 39°C and say that he's fine if someone points out how warm he is ("It's just overextertion. If you're not warm, it means you haven't been exercising well!")

He doesn't actually believe that he's fine, he knows his limits, but he just doesn't want to alarm anyone.

Luckily, he always manages to hold on until he reaches the bathroom if he's feeling pukey.

When he does get sick, he's very quiet and discreet. He always tries to go back to what he was doing before, insisting that he's okay.

When he's sick or hurt, the other third-years can see through his "I'm okay!" act (remember that time he hit his head and insisted that he was fine to play?), and know how miserable he really feels, so they force him to take it easyー he's no match for Suga, who will use mild violence if that's what it takes to make Daichi give up and rest.

Sugawara Kōshi:

He's anemic, cue to his constantly cold hands (and feet). Because of this, he takes iron pillsー or he should, because he forgets more often than not.

When he forgets the pills, he gets dizzy and weak, and needs to sit down for a bit. Once, he passed out due to anemia during practise, and he doesn't want to repeat that ever again, so he's extra cautious.

It's easy to understand when he's feverish, because he gets unexpectedly sleepy and quiet. He will fall asleep in class without even realising it if his temperature's any higher than 37,5°C.

He rarely gets hurt, but when that happens nobody's sure if he's okay or not. It's not that he denies it, but he simply doesn't say anything ("why didn't you say anything sooner!?" "B-because you didn't ask..?")

Once, he twisted his ankle and walked on it for a little less than thirty minutes before actually asking the coach if he could go get himself some ice. Of course, they didn't send him to get the icepack, but he had to sit there and listen as Coach Ukai yelled at him for not speaking up sooner.

Azumane Asahi:

He gets anxiety-induced stomach aches very often, and that's why he's used to feeling dizzy and to puking. Vomit doesn't scare him anymore.

Whenever he's sick, he runs away from the others; he needs to flee, far away. He loves his teammates, but he's scared that they'll accidentally overwhelm him further, and he doesn't want them to feel guilty.

This man can't stand the sight of blood. Like, at all, not even a little. Not even in movies. When Shimizu got a shallow paper cut, the Coach actually had to physically support him when getting him seated on a bench.

He broke his left index finger when he was a first-year, and as soon as he saw the bone sticking out of the skin (it looked worse than what it really was) he fell backwards and on a very concerned Sugawara without a word.

Cue to lots of tears and puke on the way to the hospital. He was inconsolable, but when Daichi had the idea to hide the injury from his eyes, Asahi managed to calm down a bit. In every situation, it's not the injury that scares him, but the blood.

Nishinoya Yuu:

He's reckless, he won't even notice when he gets injured. Since he's so used to bruises, bumps and shallow cuts, he doesn't understand when he's actually injured.

This guy played a whole set with a sprained wrist before realising that "hey, this feels kinda weird..?" and he didn't tell anyone until the end of the game, when his wrist was visibly swollen.

High pain tolerance plays a major role when he's injured or sick. Still, the others wish he would have a more average pain tolerance, because, once, Nishinoya felt sick during math class, and still claimed he was fine. He thought he was.

When he was rushed to the hospital due to a "mild ache in his lower stomach" that had been going on for two days after the math class incident, along with a 38,7°C fever, he was told that he had appendicitis ("I thought I just ate something bad or that I needed to take a huge dump! How was I supposed to know!? I thought I was fine."). It was clear that he wasn't, in fact, fine.

Tanaka Ryuunosuke:

He will try to toughen everything out and ignore the pain until it gets unbearable. Be it an injury or some sickness, he will automatically ignore it if he doesn't think it's serious enough to be life-threatening.

That's why he almost died when he ate one of the peanut butter cookies that Yachi had baked. Turns out, allergies do existー but he wished he'd found out in a different way. Sometimes, "My throat's kinda itchy. Does my tongue look... too big? It... it feels too big." can be synonym of "Hospital, now." Bless Takeda-sensei.

The time when he collided with Daichi, Tanaka completely ignored the fact that his arm hurt, and only realised when he took his shirt off in the locker-room and heard a screech from Yamaguchi. The bruise went from his shoulder to his elbow, blue and swollen. Cue to lots of pain relief cream and ice packs.

Ennoshita Chikara:

He never broke a bone in his whole life, but he's very good at dealing with it when it happens to someone else. He's just fascinated by how the human body works, and sometimes people think he's being cold in front of someone else's pain, when he's really just being logical.

He's good at dealing with his own pain too, though he rarely gets hurt or sick.

When he gets sick, he recovers pretty rapidly, but this leads him into relapse. That's why he's not allowed back to practise for a whole week after he recovers ("I'm fine. I've been fine for three days already, my fever wasn't even that high..." "Last time you said you were fine, you almost got pneumonia. Go home.").

He gets bad allergies during spring, and takes a lot of antihistamine pills which make him sleepy. He often has to excuse himself from class to go take a nap in the infirmaryー the teachers and the nurse know, so they always allow him to.

Narita Kazuhito:

This man is the embodiment of health. His diet and lifestyle will probably allow him to live until past the age of 100.

That's why he's not used to getting sick. And when he does, he's a confused mess with no idea of what to do with himself.

When he puked on himself after practise he was so shocked that he chuckled nervously and stood still, frozen, until Kinoshita and Ennoshita dragged him to the bathroom. He almost found the whole ordeal funny.

Kinoshita Hisashi:

He really despises vegetables and fruit, and often gets mocked because of it. He often stuffs himself with sweets and fried food until he feels sick ("But... how? That cake had strawberries in it! It's supposed to be healthy!").

He gets very bad seasickness. Once, his friends decided to drag him to Miyajima: he spent the time on the ferry and first hour on the island puking his guts out.

The thing he doesn't do good with is fainting: if someone passes out in front of him, he does the same, always. When Daichi passed out in the middle of the court, Kinoshita was thankful that Narita was there to hold him up, because he was ready to leave the land of the living.

Kageyama Tobio:

Always denies everything ("my nose is not bleeding!!") and this only makes everything worse for him. If he feels shaky, he won't take a clue and sit down; instead, he'll push himself and end up falling down on whoever's closest to him ("Daichi-san, nice receive!" "Now's really not the time, Hinata...").

When he gets sick, he gets sick hard. The flu has him puking all day long, with a fever of 39.5°C that, he insists, is not that high. His family and friends are smart enough to understand that he's lying. Not even the doctors and nurses at the E.R. can convince him that he's sick.

To be fair, he does not lie when he says that he's not hurt or sick: he genuinely thinks that whatever's going on with him is normal and not that bad.

He accidentally tripped on the leg of a desk in class, and fell face first into the teachers'. The deep, bleeding cut on his forehead wasn't enough for him to understand that he needed to go to the infirmary, and he just sat back at his desk, apologising for the mess. Turns out that his "little cut" needed six stitches in the end, and that his "mild headache" was, in fact, a mild concussion. He showed up to practise the following day anyway, and the Coach had to physically prevent him from joining.

He doesn't do good with nausea, though; he doesn't mind fevers, joint-pains, blood, bruises, or the act of throwing up itself. But when he feels nauseous he actively wishes to pass out, because anything is better than dealing with feeling like that. That's why he'd rather stick his fingers down his throat to get rid of the nausea already than waiting for it to pass naturally.

This got worse when he started suffering from migraines. As soon as he feels one starting to build behind his eye, he throws himself over the toilet, waiting for the dreaded nausea to come so that he can get rid of it before it gets too bad. He stays like that for hours if that's what it takes.

Hinata Shōyō:

He pukes a lot, and for a number of reasons: nervousness, motion sickness, fear, hungerー this guy can't even take it to the bathroom.

His guts are a mess, and he either vomits or poops every time he feels any strong emotion (which is...pretty often, for him). Thank goodness his friends always have pills that help with motion sickness with them, along with antiacid pills and sparkling water, and that Kiyoko and Yachi often restock the bus and everyone's backpacks with paper bags.

The higher the fever, the more he moves. Ever since he was a kid, a fever has never stopped him, and to be fair, fevers make him feel more motivated and energetic. He takes "Hey, no. Sit down, drink up, and rest." as an insult because "I'm fine. You're benching me because you think I suck, huh!? But I was doing fine! I- I was being good, right..?"

Yes, fevers make him emotional. He'll cry for anything once they make him admit that he's sick. He mostly cries because "How could I get sick? I'm going to be useless! I should've paid more attention, I should've been better!" but Kageyama knows for sure that he saw a feverish Hinata crying over a picture of his sister, for some reason.

He doesn't mind blood when he's the one to be bleeding, but if it's someone else, he freaks out. Seeing someone else having a bloody nose or bleeding from some injury, even small and insignificant, makes his stomach flip.

Tsukishima Kei:

He's never said "I'm in pain." in his whole life. The most honest statement he managed to grit out was "It kinda hurts.", but he never said anything more than that. He won't show himself being so vulnerable, ever.

Whenever he has to go to the optometrist, he won't eat anything for at least half a day before the appointment, because he knows for sure that he's going to throw up after the doctor dilatates his pupils.

He's a quiet puker, and he always locks himself up in the bathroom, which can be dangerous in those situations. After that time when he passed out after throwing up, his mother got an extra key of the bathroom, and always lingers close to the door when she knows that her son's about to be sick.

If anyone tries to interrupt him when he throws up or when he's in acute pain, he will yell at them. It's not that he doesn't appreciate the help, but he hates how everything feels so crowded around him when he's down. The only person who's brave enough to help him when he's like that is Yamaguchi, mostly because he's used to hearing his angry words (even if Tsukishima's never insulted him personally).

Yamaguchi Tadashi:

Terribly emetophobic, he won't throw up even if he has to. He just won't do that, no way... Which is cruelly ironic, since he gets sick pretty often due to anxiety and weak immune system. Tsukishima doesn't mind helping him out (but he would never step close to anyone else when they're sick) but he can be a bit rough sometimes; this both reassures and agitates Yamaguchi. "I'll stick my fingers down your throat if you don't throw up now." doesn't sound too kind, but when Tsukishima adds "it'll make you feel better, I promise." Yamaguchi feels a bit calmer. He’s also a loud puker.

He's a type-2 diabetic, though he has it under control and hasn't had any problem related to that in a while, not since the beginning of middle school, at least. Still, sometimes he needs to reluctantly sit practise out because he's obviously too shaky and weak to strain himself that much. When that happens, they all make sure that someone sits with him to make him feel less alone... and he appreciates it immensely.

He's on anxiety meds, but they make him feel dizzy sometimes, which leads him into a spiral of panic for fear that he'll get sick. It's a huge contradiction, really, and he hates it with his whole soul.

He's one of the people in the team who can handle others' sickness and injuries better; it might shock him for a second, but he's ready to jump into action and solve the problem in order to help his friends out.

Injuries don't scare him, though the worst thing that ever happened to him was when he got punched in the face by a bully. He also broke his arm in middleschool once though he doesn't remember muchー maybe it was the shock, or maybe it was that it hurt less than he imagined. The punch freaked him out more than that.

Yachi Hitoka

She's a good caretaker, but an absolute mess when it comes to taking care of her own injuries and sickness.

She's clumsy so she's not new to bruises and cuts, but this doesn't mean that she doesn't freak out a bit whenever she sees blood on her legs or arms. On their way home from school, one day, Hinata and Yamaguchi decided to get her band-aids with little chicks and kittens on them. She finished the 30-pack in less than a month.

She got her period a bit late in life, a couple of months before turning 15, and whenever she's on her period, it hits her like a train at full-speed in the guts. Kiyoko taught her some yoga moves that help with the cramps, and the boys never bother the two of them when they see them doing yoga in the corner of the gym. In fact, they also bought her an electric heating pad for her birthday along with an indecent amount of chocolate that didn't fit in Yachi's bag (and various other presents not concerning periods).

Shimizu Kiyoko:

The scars on her legs are fully healed, yet the skin there is thinner, and so the wounds reopen whenever she accidentally hurts herself there. They sting quite a bit, and though it's unusual, she hisses out loud when it's bad. Everyone agreed to make sure that medkit is always equipped with antiseptic cream. To this day, Kiyoko insists that it isn't necessary, but they disagree.

She always knows what to do when someone else feels sick, but she's unsure about what she'd do in case of her own sickness. She hasn't been sick in too long to know.

She hasn't gotten a cold since elementary school, and that one time when she thought she'd caught something, when she sneezed at the age of 16, it was actually just a bit of dust allergy. She doesn't even need meds for it.

Takeda Ittetsu:

He hardly gets sick, but he ends up hunched over the toilet more often than not after a Friday night out with his friends. He drinks quite a bit for a teacher, but only when he knows that he can do that without compromising his career or setting the wrong example. Hangovers also leave him a messy wreck, and that's why he only drinks on Fridays: that way, he has until Sunday night to recover.

For someone who's constantly surrounded by teenagers, he doesn't get sick much. He catches a cold every now and then, but nothing more serious than that. And when he's sick, he always tries to prevent the others from catching what he's got, without actually taking care of himself to heal.

Once, he got a fever of 40,1°C and luckily for him Ukai was coming over to discuss about the volleyball club; he found Takeda sprawled face-down in front of the open door. He was boiling, so Ukai took him to the hospital where he stayed for two days. ("I didn't think it was this bad." "So you knew you had a fever and still went to work?" "Yeah, but I had a mask on so that the others could be safe." "And you didn't buy medicine in the meantime?" "Ah, no." "...what the hell!?").

Ukai Keishin:

He catches a cold every other month, no matter how many layers of clothes he wears. These colds are often accompanied by low fevers, but he's used to those so he simply chugs some orange juice and moves on.

He tried to quit smoking countless times, especially since he started coaching these kids, but he can't help smoking at least three of cigs per day. Still, sometimes his chest aches a bit, and maybe it's just paranoia, but when that happens he doesn't touch tobacco for a couple of days.

His liver would even be able to survive Takeda's nights out; his guts, in general, are strong and he swears he's never felt nauseous in his whole life.

💫 I might think of more sick karasuno hc soon, but that's it for now. Expect more characters hc soon! Again, credit me if you use these, and please feel free to share this post! 💫

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atlas-tries · 4 years

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Shatter Me

A Patton angst fic by yours truly

Read on AO3

Summary: All the sides have secrets, but none have one as lethal as the one Patton is keeping. Can he keep it under wraps long enough to resolve it or will the trauma of it all spell his undoing?

Hey guys, so this has been a long time in the making (aka since January). But I finally got this finished and I’m very proud of how it turned out. This was all based on a simple headcanon I had about how Patton experiences emotional pain. I hope you enjoy it, and the next chapter will be out next Monday! Check the notes for definitive links to the next chapter.

Chapter 1: Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but Words Hurt Far More Deeply

At some point or another, all the sides had kept secrets from each other.

Mostly, it had to do with where they had been in the past or something silly, like the time Roman “accidentally” ate all of Logan’s Crofters. The others still kept some, likely to make a well-placed or dramatic reveal of it, and Patton was no different. He himself occasionally had physical manifestations of emotional pain. However, there was one thing he knew that wasn’t a secret.

Patton knew how they all really felt about him.

Sentimental.

Overbearing.

Naive.

Worthless.

Even if they rarely said any of those descriptors out loud or in his presence, the unspoken words came through loud and clear every time they thought he would mess something up. Which was in almost every video he appeared in. They thought he didn’t notice the dismissive remarks or the eye rolls whenever he had any ideas to share when Thomas had an issue that needed working through. It’s just ol’ Patton spouting off whatever random thoughts and/or dad jokes pop up in his head like always.

For the most part, Patton could handle whatever emotional turmoil they threw at him. He knew that despite what they thought, they still cared about him and valued his opinions. The occasional pain was worth it if they were happy. And they were, especially after Thomas had introduced them to his online community of Fanders (the part that made him the happiest). Even Patton himself had been ecstatic to reach out to so many other kiddos out there. At least, he was until they had gotten in front of the camera.

Yeah, his jokes didn’t land with the others, it wasn’t a big deal. That was no different than telling them in the Mindscape on most days. However, he really wanted to do that four-part harmony when Roman suggested it, even after they immediately shot it down when he came in. But Patton could shake that off, too. He was strong. So, imagine his surprise when he discovered short, thin cracks radiating from over his heart when he was changing into his cat onesie that evening. “Oh,” he said, running his hand delicately over them, “That must’ve gotten to me a little more than I thought.” No matter, though, they always went away within a few days.

Everything went back to relative normal in short order and Patton was back to being a happy pappy. The next few videos came and went without much fanfare. He was even featured by himself to help Thomas with his adultery! There was nothing better than that. The cracks didn’t return until just before they started planning out The Mind vs. The Heart.

That morning, Patton had been making breakfast for everyone as he almost always did. This morning was especially pleasant for him because Thomas had actually listened to Patton yesterday when he suggested he go and pet all the puppies in the pet store on the way home. Having that thought at the forefront made it easy to softly sing to himself as the bacon sizzled. Roman was already eating his as fast as he could fancifully manage.

“Roman, I know my food is good, but please don’t choke up on your swallow through,” Patton said with a smile, taking the last batch of bacon out of the pan and putting it on a plate. Roman just nodded and kept doing exactly what he was doing. “Say, you didn’t happen to see Logan when you came down, did you?” Patton was getting a little worried about Logan. It was early, yes, but the logical side always made his appearance long before now.

“Haben’t sheen ‘im thish morning,” Roman said with a mouthful of pancake.

Patton hummed, set his and Logan’s plates on the table, and grabbed some forks. He sat down at the table, picking at the eggs a little. He would feel better about eating when Logan came. As if on cue, soft squeaks came from the staircase. “Huh, speak of the devil,” Roman mumbled. Patton immediately perked up.

“Good morning, Logan!” Patton shouted. Logan stopped at the bottom of the stairs and covered his ears.

“Too loud, Pat,” Logan grumbled, making his way slowly to the table.

Patton softly replied, “Sorry. I made breakfast.” He couldn’t help but notice the dark circles beneath Logan’s eyes as he approached; they were almost dark enough to rival Anxiety’s. Patton was very much hoping that Roman wouldn’t notice, if only to preserve the peace (and the rest of his good mood, but Patton didn’t want that to be the focus).

“Thank you.” Logan sat and went straight for the coffee, downing half of it in only a few seconds. So far, so good. “Ugh, aren’t I a little old for cat-shaped pancakes, Patton?”

Patton shook his head with a smile. “You’re never too old to have a Patton paw-ncake!” he said cheerily, batting a pawed hand in the air for emphasis.

“Wow, looks like someone’s been to the dark sides this morning. Can we get a bag check on Logan’s eyes?” said Roman, going for another mouthful of bacon.

Logan wasn’t amused. “I’m sorry some of us have to work overtime to make Thomas make the right decisions,” he spat. “Sometimes it’s like I’m the only adult here.” Patton felt that familiar pain ghost across his chest.

“Ex-cuse me, how dare you say such a thing, and when Padre was nice enough to make you breakfast! And anyways, you are NOT the only one who has to pull late nights, Snide and Prejudiced,” Roman countered.

Patton said, “It’s fine, Roman, ple—”

“Really?” Logan adjusted his glasses. “Because it seems to me like you only keep Thomas up at ungodly hours fantasizing about the things you want.”

“Oh, and you don’t?”

“As the most important side, no, I don’t.”

“Oh well ex-cuuuuuuse me, Mr. President—”

From there it devolved into them shouting over each other. Roman slung eggs and syrup everywhere while wildly gesticulating. Logan kept smacking the table trying to make his points. Chocolate milk was going everywhere. They had never been so tense with each other.

“Um, kiddos?” Patton said. Neither of them heard him in the midst of their shouting match. “Kiddos?” he said a little louder, reaching out toward them. “Maybe if we just—”

“THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU, PATTON!” both of them yelled. Patton recoiled. Another crack split painfully across his chest. Both of them went back to screaming at each other. He couldn’t stand to see them like this, even if they were hurting him in the process. What else could he do but meet them at their level?

Patton stood abruptly and slammed his hands down on the table. “That’s ENOUGH, both of you!” he scolded. They instantly hushed, flustered and in awe that Patton could even raise his voice. He took a breath and calmly continued, “Roman, I appreciate you defending me like the noble Prince you are, but it’s okay. We know that Logan isn’t the only one that works the graveyard shift, but we shouldn’t make fun of the sides that do when they’re not in their best shape. And Logan, I know you’re tired, but—”

“Yes, from trying to mitigate the effects you had on Thomas yesterday,” Logan interrupted. “We almost adopted one of those puppies when we have neither the resources nor the time to look after one. And who was the one who had to convince him that it was a bad idea? Me!”

Even though Patton wasn’t sorry about that in the slightest, he still apologized. “You did the right thing, Logan. Why don’t you go back to bed for a little while? You’ve earned it,” Patton said. “I’ll even keep your breakfast warm for you.”

Logan nodded and left wordlessly, taking the coffee mug with him back up the stairs. With him gone, Patton looked to Roman. “You owe him an apology, mister,” said Patton.

“What? Me? He was the one being snippier than an Edward Scissorhands wannabe!” Roman cried.

“Well, you didn’t help that, now did you? But he also owes you an apology, too.” That garnered a little “oh” from the Prince. Patton sighed and took Logan’s plate to the oven, turning it on to the lowest setting.

“You know we would’ve worked it out on our own eventually, right?” Roman said. “This is just what we do.”

“I know,” Patton responded. “I think … I should start cleaning up. There’s chocolate milk everywhere.”

Roman nodded. “Okay, Padre. Is there … something I can help with, at least?” He got up and handed his mostly empty plate to Patton.

“Thanks, but I can handle it,” Patton said softly, voice barely above a whisper. He felt Roman’s hand on his shoulder and looked up at the Prince.

“You shouldn’t worry about us so much. We’ll be fine. And, uh, I promise I’ll make it up to the Grinch up there,” said Roman with a small smile.

We don’t need you smothering us.

Great! Now Patton’s thoughts were going to take it upon themselves to put translations after the other’s words! Patton tried to return a smile despite the pain in his chest growing. It must’ve convinced him because Roman, with a final pat on his shoulder, turned and left. As soon as Roman was completely out of sight, Patton rubbed at the cracks to try and soothe their aching. It never worked, but it made him feel a little less like a sad dad. Oh well. At least they’d disappear soon enough.

Or not.

A few days after Losing Motivation came out, Patton had once again busied himself in the kitchen, this time baking chocolate chip cookies while humming along to the Disney showtunes that Roman had playing in the living room. No doubt Thomas would have them stuck in his head by the end of the day. Not that it was a problem in Patton’s mind; the music really helped him ignore the constant throbbing pain that those ugly fractures left on his chest. Better to have Disney showtunes on the brain than a recent ex-boyfriend, right?

The oven timer let out a short ding! at the start of the chorus to Prince Ali. “Oh cookie, where would I be if you weren’t hooooot,” Patton sang over the lyrics. He danced over to the oven while putting on heart-patterned oven mitts. “So full of sweets from eating way more than I ouuuuggghhht. To.” He took the finished cookies out of the oven and twirled around to the music, kicking the door closed and sliding the baking sheet onto the stove in one smooth motion.

Patton made quick work of getting them off the baking sheet and onto a plate. “Cookies are ready!” he shouted. Quick, thundering steps met his cry and in seconds, Roman was in the kitchen juggling three.

“Don’t mind if I do, Pat,” said Roman. Fear never deterred Roman, not even when in the face of third degree mouth burns from oven-fresh cookies. Patton would be lying if he said he wasn’t proud of his son for being so brave (even if another part of him was terrified of Roman getting hurt). “Hanksh,” he said with a mouthful of molten cookie, pretending that it wasn’t actually too hot but still doing the hashafashafa thing to cool it down while he ate.

“You’re welcome, son,” Patton replied. He looked at the cookies and remembered why he was making them in the first place. Ever since Anxiety had made himself known, Patton had been trying to reach out to him. Sure, he was dark and broody and sometimes the others had a little trouble seeing how important his contributions were, but he wasn’t the villain that they made him out to be. Anxiety deserved to feel welcome, and that was something Patton would always advocate for.

He set a few of the cookies on another plate for the rest of the sides (and himself) and poured a glass of milk. “Anxiety’s gonna love this!” He picked the cookies and milk up and danced them out of the kitchen, making sure to pass by Logan on the way. Not that it was hard, he was almost always studying at the dining room table. “Hey Logan, do you wanna eat a cookie?” Patton sung to the tune of Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?

Logan glanced up from his book. “I would prefer not to as I am attempting to set a good example for Thomas by abstaining from sugar,” Logan responded.

“Ah. Well, more for me and Anxiety, then!” said Patton. “If you change your mind, there are some more in the kitchen.”

Logan put the book down and said, “Hold on, are you telling me you’re still intent on making friends with him?”

“Well, yeah, what’s so bad about that?” Patton asked.

“I can’t believe I have to explain this to you again. Anxiety has no place with us, Patton, and it’s time that you stop pandering to him. There’s a very good reason why he lives with … them, and not us.”

The little fissures began slowly spreading. Patton was getting good at keeping it under wraps. And under shirts. “Now Logan, just because he’s a little different from us doesn’t mean that he has bad intentions. Sure, he started out in a bad place, but who’s to say that he can’t grow out of that? Sometimes, people just need a push in the right direction to shine. Bright like a diamond~,” Patton sang the last part, which earned him a groan. “I promise, if I felt fishy about any of this, I wouldn’t be doing it.”

“Why would you feel like a fish? Do fish even feel?” Logan said, genuinely perplexed.

Patton sighed. “Gosh, words can be tough. What I mean is that I don’t feel bad about reaching out to Anxiety, not when he’s been reaching out to us in his own way. I don’t get the feeling that he means us harm.”

“But you have to admit that when it comes to character judgement, you can be too forgiving,” Logan said.

“… Is that a bad thing?” Patton quietly replied, wincing a little as the cracks splintered further.

Logan’s eyes narrowed. “Patton, are you feeling alright?” he asked.

Oh, no.

“Of … course I am!” Patton said. “I’m Morality, why wouldn’t I be feeling?”

Logan grunted and adjusted his glasses. “Let me rephrase that. Patton, moments ago, you clearly indicated you were in pain. Am I interpreting this cue correctly?”

“Um …” Patton stalled. Maybe it was time to tell someone about this; it wasn’t like he could keep hiding it forever. With a sigh, he replied, “Yeah.” Oh no no no no, he couldn’t do this.

Logan stood there silently for a few moments before realizing that no explanation was going to come out of him without prompting. “Would you care to explain what’s causing it? I can perform first aid if necessary,” he said, stepping toward Patton.

Patton backed away and put his hands up. “I’m alright, really. It’s just … a little heartburn is all. You know me, not waiting until the cookies are cool to start munchin’! It should go away soon,” he replied. He couldn’t describe how badly he wanted to get out from under Logan’s scrutiny.

“If that’s all, then, here,” Logan conjured some Tums, “please take two of these.” He offered the bottle to Patton, who took it with a smile.

“Thank you, Logan, where would we be without you?” said Patton. He took some out of the bottle and made a show of chewing them up. Even if he didn’t really need them, he wanted to be sure that Logan felt listened to.

“What is that on your neck?” Logan asked, gesturing on himself where he thought he saw something.

“Hmm?” Patton felt around in that general area, squeaking softly when he felt a small but deep fracture across his skin. How did he not notice that before? Quick, Patton, think of something! “It’s uh … it’s chocolate!”

Logan’s eyes narrowed again. “Chocolate?”

Patton smiled. “Yeeeaahhhh, I must’ve gotten chocolate on myself when I was making these cookies. Silly me,” he lied, waving a dismissive hand. Well, it wasn’t totally a lie; he did still have some chocolate on his hands.

That seemed to sate the logical side. “Very well then, be sure to wash that off. And I know that no matter what I say, you’re still going to take your cookies to Anxiety. Just, please be careful around him, no matter how he makes you feel. We do still need you to help keep Thomas functioning normally,” said Logan.

“Thank you, Logan, I appreciate that. I promise I’ll be careful,” Patton said with a smile. Logan gave him a curt nod and went back to his studies. Some of the pain subsided with that last comment, which Patton was very grateful for. If it had been anywhere near what it was before, he couldn’t have done what he had set out to do without cuing Anxiety on to his problems. With as much of a smile as he could muster, Patton picked up the cookies and milk and headed down to Anxiety’s room. Thankfully, Logan didn’t notice him adjusting his cardigan along the way.

Patton always thought it was odd that the doorway to the darker side of Thomas’s mind would be inside the broom closet at the end of the hall. In another way, it made a lot of sense when he thought about it a little harder. Anything he wanted hidden would be stowed in here for safe keeping until he was ready to confront it. Plus, it made an excellent visual pun that made Patton giggle every once in a while. He opened the door, carefully balancing the plate on his arm.

“Let’s see, last time I made two rights, a left at the weird eyeball painting that stares at you, another right, then a left, and it’s the last door on the left,” Patton mumbled to himself as he walked through the dark side’s labyrinthine corridors. “Please let there be no spiders this time.”

In between the first two rights, a yellow-gloved hand slithered its way around the edge of the corner in front of Patton, making him stop dead in his tracks. No no no, not now! “Well well well, if it isn’t Morality,” Deceit stepped out in front of Patton, “have you finally decided to join us AND bring us cookies? I know we would all be devastated if you did.” His ever-present smirk seemed even more delighted than normal.

“Um, no. I’m just bringing Anxiety some cookies like I’ve been doing for a while now. You know that,” Patton replied. This definitely wasn’t making him uneasy.

“Indeed I do, and I also know something else.” Deceit strode forward until he was uncomfortably close. “You’ve been hiding something I find to be … most exquisite. If you keep that up, you’re liable to put me out of a job. Tell me, how long do you think you can play my game but keep me away from the field? Or even better,” he slowly circled Patton, eyes ever trained on him, “how long do you think you can keep their prying eyes away from your little secret?” He gently touched the center of Patton’s chest, which made him hiss and nearly drop the cookies and milk.

Patton had to take a moment to catch his breath. “I refuse to … make this their problem,” he gasped. He could’ve sworn he saw a few glowing drops of his essence through his shirt where Deceit’s finger had been.

“Oh, of course you don’t. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that one. They’re obviously trying to hurt you by saying and doing all of these little things and telling them this would only make them want to do it more,” Deceit said, coming to stop in front of Patton.

“Look, I know you’re just trying to look out for me in your … own way and I appreciate it, but please, Dee … I can’t tell them this. It would break them even more than it’s breaking me— and I won’t have it.”

Deceit’s smile faded. “You don’t want to listen to reason? Fine. But I leave you with this,” he shook a finger and slowly began sinking out, “what would hurt them more: the others finding out about this now or the others finding out about this when you’re in itty. Bitty. Pieces?” His last words echoed through the empty halls, chilling Patton to his core.

He knew Deceit was right, in his own roundabout way. That was one of his greatest assets: he was a brilliant analyst despite his airs, one that could keenly rival Logan’s perceptive inclinations. It was also what Patton dreaded about him. He couldn’t hide anything from Deceit, not that there was much he could do to hide all the cracks given how many there were.

“No!” Patton said to himself. This wasn’t the time for getting absorbed in thoughts! This was supposed to be bonding-with-his-precious-anxious-baby time, gosh darn it, and he was not going to waste any more time thinking about all the things that were hurting him! Putting on his best determined dad face, Patton quickly marched toward Anxiety’s room.

Before he could get too far, though, he saw Anxiety’s familiar, brooding figure lurking through the halls. He perked up almost imperceptibly when he saw Patton coming. “Oh, there you are. Not like I was worried about you being late or anything,” he said, fiddling with his hoodie strings.

Patton just smiled, relieved that Anxiety hadn’t noticed the little, slightly glowing stains on the front of his shirt. “Of course not. Shall we?” he replied. Anxiety nodded.

The two shared a nice, albeit short, time in Anxiety’s room talking through everything they could. Anxiety’s particular favorite seemed to be picking through Disney movies (or really any movie) to find all of the dark origins or morbid underlying themes they held. While Patton liked being able to spend time with Anxiety, the combination of being in his room for longer than around half an hour and the negative talk were lying heavily on his chest. Still, he never let it show that those cracks were slowly spider-webbing across his skin.

By the end of the day, every step was a Herculean task for Patton. He barely made it back to his room without stumbling. Still, there was one last thing to be done: survey the damage he had accrued. He trudged into the bathroom and grasped the sink with shaking arms, head hanging heavily. “Alright, head up on three, Patton. One, two, three,” he said, letting go of the sink and looking up in the mirror. Despite his weathered appearance, not much could be seen with his shirt still on aside from two small fractures that forked up either side of his neck. The few that had made it past his sleeves were so thin that he didn’t even notice them at first. Patton sighed. He really didn’t want to look at the epicenter of the damage. “Right after this, you can go to bed,” he bartered with his reflection. He gently lifted the hem of his shirt up and nearly fainted from what he saw.

The cracks at the center of Patton’s chest had turned more into chasms where his skin had chipped away like broken porcelain. His essence shone through, now a raging blue storm that threatened to break through the invisible barrier where his skin should be. From there, the light bled through into the smaller fissures that spanned his entire torso, front and back. He knew it was bad, but it had never been to this extent. He gently touched the edge of the center break and accidentally dipped his finger into the blue fluid. The tears he had repressed welled up in his eyes, spurred on by a jolt of raw emotion. Patton quickly wiped the fluid off onto his pants. The tears no longer had any driving force behind them.

“Oh Patton, you’ve got to remember not to do that,” he once again told his reflection. He had forgotten how much emotional sway his essence had when he touched it. Patton knew he couldn’t keep the happy act up like this. So, what else could he do but make himself as scarce as possible until it healed at least a little bit?

And that’s exactly what he did.

#atlas writes #patton angst #sanders sides angst #patton sanders #long post #this first chapter is a little more than 4000 words #which honestly that's just a tiny chunk in comparison to what i have written #shatter me #shatter me story

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1139

1 - What's your favourite TV show that was released before you were born? What is it that got you into that show in the first place? My parents introduced me to Perfect Strangers when I was 10 since they both grew up watching and enjoying the show - it came out in 1986 and ended in 1993. I love it mostly for the dynamic of Larry and Balki, which was really the whole point of the series. Then there’s also Friends, which first came out in 1994. It’s my comfort show for years to come and it’ll always be a series I’ll come back to whenever I need a pick-me-up.

2 - What is your preferred brand and flavour of ice-cream? I usually just stick to Selecta and I always get cookies and cream. Sometimes I’ll spoil myself and get Ben and Jerry’s and get whatever flavor that has cookie dough.

3 - When's the last time you got something in your eye? Can’t remember the last time I either cried or felt irritated with something in my eye.

4 - When was the last time someone got you flowers and what was the occasion? I’m not so sure. It was two or three years ago, I think. I don’t get to receive flowers or bouquets often, and especially not these days.

5 - What are your plans for tomorrow? Are these normal for that particular day of the week or are you doing something out of the ordinary? It was such a draining work week so I wanna use the free time this weekend to relax; but since I’m a bit of a workaholic I might also end up finding some time to do some work on the side just to feel productive hahah. I can’t go out either since we’re experiencing another spike in Covid cases - we’re reaching 7000 new cases a day - and stay-at-home orders and curfews are in place everywhere again, so I’ll just have to make the most of my time at home this weekend.

6 - What will you be eating for your next meal? Depends on what my mom is making for dinner, but I’m guessing another pasta dish...it’s Friday, though, and I usually allot this day to have food delivered in the evening as a reward to myself for finishing the week strong heheh. I got a spicy tuna salad and sushi again :)

7 - Who was the last person to pay you a compliment? How did you come to know that person? Andi, I think. We met at an anti-Marcos rally three years ago. They were carrying a big-ass guitar and I approached them because I liked their wrestling shirt.

8 - When is the last time the weather changed your plans? What were your plans and what did you end up doing instead? That would be last November, when we were in the middle of a bad typhoon and I had to file an emergency leave because we had a village-wide power outage and it kept me from being readily available for work. I made plans to a nearby mall to get wi-fi, but our village was seriously flooded so there was no way out. I had no choice but to begrudgingly file the leave even though I really wanted to attend work lol.

9 - What's your favourite kind of liquor? Do you prefer it "plain", flavoured or in a mixer? Tequila. Preferably as straight shots, because I like having a good time lmao.

10 - Who was the last person you spoke to via video call? Did you speak to this person via video before the pandemic hit? My workplace doesn’t really make it a norm to turn on our videos unless we’re pitching to or speaking with clients who prefer video calls. But I did just come from a Google Meet (albeit just using audio) this afternoon to present a deck and that call was with my co-workers and the clients we were presenting to. And no, I wasn’t even employed before the pandemic so other than Bea, I’ve never met any of the people in the call in person.

11 - Are you someone who prefers routine or spontaneity? I thrive on routine, but I also like it spiked with the occasional spontaneity.

12 - What streaming services (if any) are you subscribed to? Do you think they're good value for money? Just Netflix and Spotify. Yeah, I’d say both are good deals, especially Spotify.

13 - When was the last time you struggled to get to sleep? What did you do to help things? I’m not so sure, actually. I have no problem passing out these days lol. If I do have trouble falling asleep, I usually remedy it by watching YouTube videos or take a survey until my eyes feel tired.

14 - How often do you get your five a day? What was the last fruit or veggie that you ate? I’ve never heard of that concept...anyway, I looked it up and it has something to do with having a good amount of fruits and veggies per day. In any case, I had eggplants in my dinner tonight.

15 - How do you take your coffee? 3-in-1, so that it’s already made and blended well for me lmaaaaao. If I’m ordering at a coffee shop, I like sweeter flavors; I never take mine black.

16 - Is there anything that you're currently putting off? When do you think you'll finally get round to doing it? Getting new frames for my eyeglasses and an updated prescription along with it. Idk man, it just seems pointless to book an appointment for the meantime since I’m never out and I can manage during my workdays without glasses anyway. With another strict lockdown order in place, idk when I’ll ever get around to setting an appointment.

17 - When was the last time you watched a Disney film? Which one was it and is it one of your favourites? I have no idea, it’s definitely been a while.

18 - What was the last household chore you completed? Is this something you do regularly? Just cleaned out the tray underneath Cooper’s playpen since it had some food crumbs and some of his fur. Yeah, I do it every night.

19 - Who were you with the last time you went out for a meal? Angela, Hans, Pia, Kyelle, Al, Gab, and Sam.

20 - Have you had your COVID vaccine yet? If not, are you going to accept it when you're offered? No, not yet. My workplace booked a bulk order for one of the vaccines - though I can’t remember which one - and we should be getting it in a few months or so.

21 - Do you have any pets and how many? If not, would you like to have one someday? I have two dogs. I’ve always wanted dogs, so I’m okay for now.

22 - What's the most unusual meat you've ever eaten? Did you like it? Carabao meat. It was fine, not horrid-tasting or anything, but I wouldn’t have it again. The one I had felt very hastily made, apart from smelling and tasting very farm-y.

23 - Do you prefer still or sparkling water and why? Still. I don’t like carbonated stuff period, so I doubt I’d enjoy sparkling water.

24 - Do you own a car? If so, could you live your current lifestyle without one? If you don't have one, would having one change your life in any way? My parents technically own it because they bought it, but it was designated for me. I mean I’d obviously survive without a car, but I’d find it very inconvenient. Booking a Grab every time would be so costly, and I’m not willing to try out our public transport anyway because they’ve been constantly terrible with disinfection and sanitation protocols throughout the pandemic.

25 - Who was the last person you made plans with and what are you going to do? Andi; we made plans to have our thesis printed and bound so that we can finally put a close to our college life hahaha. We just have to figure out a date and I also have to remove Gabie from my acknowledgments.

26 - What's the worst kind of physical pain you've ever experienced? Is this a one-off or is it something you experience regularly? Accidentally ripping my earring off my piercing was a fucking thrill I’d never want to go through again.

27 - What's your favourite length for a survey to be? Do you get put off if surveys are longer or shorter than you like? Anywhere between 35-80 questions is fine. Anything else would be too short or long. I’ll occasionally give long surveys a pass since it’s easy to take breaks in between, but I ignore short ones altogether.

28 - What colours are you wearing at the moment? Are any of those colours your favourite? I have a multi-colored striped top on and a scarlet pair of shorts. And no, I’m not wearing any pink rn.

29 - Once you've found a TV show you like, do you tend to watch it over and over again? What was the last TV programme you watched for the second or third time? Not with all shows - like I haven’t revisited BoJack Horseman after completing it the first time. I’ve been like this with Friends and Brooklyn Nine-Nine, though.

30 - When was the last time you cried and what was the reason for it? Do you feel better now? No idea when but it was probably from a heartwarming video.

#survey #surveys

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lightninginabottle0613 · 4 years

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50 questions ⚖️

a scale for libra season - you knew i would!!

thank you to all of these angels for tagging me & giving me a chance to learn more about your precious selves - @yanak324 @watersandwolves @kelleesioverhere @livhatesolives @thelandofnothing

what is the color of your hairbrush? black! with some silver on the handle.

name a food you never eat? sushi. i don’t dislike it, but it’s just far enough down on my favorites list that i never choose it over something else.

are you typically too warm or too cold? almost always too cold, but that’s exactly how i like it.

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? talking to my brother. he is at sea and bought internet for the day :’)

what’s your favorite candy bar? i don’t think i have a favorite tbh. i like most candy well enough. not really a candy person, though!

have you ever been to a professional sports game? i have been to many major league baseball games, & two minor league soccer games.

what is the last thing you said out loud? “love you, too” 💘

what is your favourite ice cream? ben & jerry’s mint chocolate cookie

what was the last thing you had to drink? lemon la croix in a stemless wine glass, bc nothingggg matterrrssss

do you like your wallet? i actually don’t, lol. it’s a little dark green designer thing that i splurged on last year, bc i thought adults needed fancy wallets. & it’s very off brand for me. i also broke the inside zipper one hour after purchasing it, when i ripped the tag off bc i was too lazy to get scissors. so that makes me hate it even more.

what is the last thing you ate? omg. loaded sweet potato fries. with cheese & fake bacon & ranch.

did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i did! just one shirt at target. a lil striped guy. as if i needed any more of those.

what’s the last sporting event you watched? the eagles/bengals game last sunday. i didn’t put it on, like ... on purpose. i was hanging out with two straight men who insisted, bc i’m from philadelphia. it was sweet of them i guess

what is your favorite flavor of popcorn? anything cheeeeesy. or just regular. but fuck a caramel corn (sorry)

who is the last person you sent a text message to? one of the aforementioned straight men

ever go camping? yes!!!!!!! camping is so cute. very into it

do you take vitamins? i am actually all out of my multivitamin, so this question has reminded me to add it to my shopping list for tomorrow.

do you regularly attend a place of worship? (don’t make a target joke, don’t make a target joke)

do you have a tan? haha

do you prefer chinese or pizza? my east coast roots all but require me to say pizza. i do love a good sesame NOODLE though

do you drink your soda through a straw? no ma’am

what color socks do you usually wear? i’ve got all sorts of colors!! right now they are white with black polka dots. team fun socks

do you ever drive above the speed limit? i mean yeah, of course. i am a self- and others-proclaimed Great Driver, though. so i will drive above the speed limit a responsible and excusable amount.

what terrifies you? birds. everyone thinks it’s a joke until they see me encounter a bird. (no, not sparrows/robins/little tiny birds that fly away when you approach them. obviously not those. they’re doing amazing.)

look to your left, what do you see? couch cushion! i have been on the couch for five hours.

what chore do you hate most? oh like, probably cleaning the litter box lol. that shit sucks

what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? steve irwin (and the fact that my mom cried when he died)

what’s your favorite soda pop? diet coke, because i am ✨garbage✨

do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru!! the drive thru experience is one of my favorite things. i love cradling my lil head in my hand while i talk to the person over the intercom. pretty much flirt with every drive thru attendant i ever come across. they’re so cute. shout out to grace at my local starbucks

what’s your favorite number? another day passes where i don’t have a favorite number

who’s the last person you talked to? out loud, my brother. over text, i am talking to three (3) very cute people! one of them is yana, hey bb

favorite cut of beef? the fake kind!

last song you listened to? whistle while you work. i’m watching snow white

last book you read? lol guys, i’m a disgrace. i haven’t read a book in so long. i just don’t have the energy. all i do anymore is attend zoom meetings, cry about the news, and journal about the moon

favorite day of the week? what is a “day” of the “week”

can you say the alphabet backwards? i just attempted it. i can, but very slowly.

how do you like your coffee? iced 😇 with a splash of oat milk. but i just bought a french vanilla coconut milk creamer today. so i’m really branching out.

favorite pair of shoes? i love my white birkenstocks more than anything, but i hate exposing my feet. so probably my dad sneakers.

time you normally get up? arounnnnnd 5:00 a.m.

what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunrises these days! usually far too dissociated to enjoy a sunset anymore lolllll i’m fine

how many blankets on your bed? just my main comforter, and my lil pink baby blanket that i still sleep with (balled up under my head)

describe your kitchen plates? they are pink & they are the same as yana’s

describe your kitchen at the moment? clean! except one dish in the sink. but clean, always

do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? i love a light beer! and learning to appreciate a red wine. nothing fancy.

do you play cards? almost never. i cannot stand games

what color is your car? my last three cars have accidentally been blue. the one i got in march (the first one i bought myself!!) is “cosmic blue” :’)

can you change a tire? no!! someone teach me though, i want to learn

your favorite state? pennsylvania, for better or for worse.

favorite job you’ve had? 2018 me would be dying at current me even thinking of admitting this, but the one i have right now! it has taught me more than any job i’ve ever had, and introduced me to some of my favorite people, and treated me incredibly well during a time when so many have lost everything. cannot complain even slightly (although i most definitely do, and will continue to)

tagging: everyone that i would’ve tagged has already done this lol damn it guys!! @beautifulinsanesanity have you done this? idk. if you’ve made it this far & haven’t done it yet, then please consider yourself tagged.

🛑 IF YOU LIVE IN AMERICA - HI! ONE MONTH UNTIL ELECTION DAY! are you registered to vote (if you’re of age)? are you aware of how fucked we are if we don’t mobilize to get this ogre out of office? vote early if you can. vote in person if you can. volunteer to be a poll worker if you can. just ... literally please lol. i’m so tired.

love u.

#get to know me #tags #this took me so so so long #and i have since switched over to the lion king #and have already teared up twice #so things are not looking great for me mentally #but when are they ever ya know

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soundofseventeen · 4 years

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When I Grow Up (Lee Seokmin)

So...Erin snapped me that we hit 1300 followers as I was finishing this!! Thanks my loves for sticking around!!! We try to keep you happy!!! I still have plenty of ideas but no time, but I’m trying!!! I hope it captured the growing theme!!!!

Credits to the gif owners!!!

Word count: 5607

Inspo: When I Grow Up

Y/N age 12:

“Did you know chocolate is a vegetable?” You looked up from your homework to stare at the ten-year-old boy you were babysitting and shook your head. “I’m serious,” he continued. He attempted to clean the cookie crumbs off of his mouth, only to smear one of the chocolate chips that had gotten stuck. He laughed at his mistake.

At that, you smiled at him and cleaned his face. “Finish your snack and then we can start your homework. And it’s shower day, so we need to make sure you’re clean when your parents come home.”

“I don’t smell though,” he whined, his lower lip sticking out in a pout. He reached over to grab another cookie and accidentally knocked over his glass of milk. You managed to pick up your worksheet in time but by the time you found a rag, it managed to seep into Seokmin’s shirt and pants. “Oops,” he said sheepishly. “Can I shower right now? Milk smells gross when it’s not cold anymore.”

“Okay. Being me your clothes when you’re done and then I can wash them.” You walked to the kitchen sink to wring out the milk, nearly gagging when you felt it running through your fingertips and washed the cloth thoroughly. You heard the shower running, thankful that he listened to you and threw his soiled outfit in the washer.

You had been watching Seokmin for a few weeks and you learned how to adapt to his hyperactive personality, which made you proud of yourself. You didn’t force him to stay still or make him do things quietly. Instead, you let him take out all the Hot Wheels he owned and build all the bridges with the VHS cassettes his parents stored away and let him play to his heart’s content. Like many kids his age he would’ve rather done that than start his homework, which was normal. And he liked to bribe his way to have dessert for dinner, which never happened but you commended him (hah! You managed to use a vocabulary word from one of your classes!) for always trying. You’ve met his sister several times but she was currently in that phase where she was embarrassed by her younger brother so you often stepped in with the babysitting. He was a sweet kid and one of your favorites at that.

“Y/N, I’m out,” he called you a few minutes later. He stood in front of the doorway fully changed into his favorite Spongebob pajamas, the water dripping onto the carpet and held out his towel for you to dry his hair. Seokmin’s favorite thing about showers was having someone running the bath towel through his scalp to dry his hair, or anyone just playing with his hair in general. He liked that more than when someone scratched his back when he tried sleeping.

“Alright, you’re all done. Now get started on your homework. I don’t know what time your parents are getting home today but I know I let you play long enough.”

“Five more minutes?”

“Sorry buddy. We had a deal. Homework now, and then maybe TV later if they’re not here yet.” You checked the time. “I think they left pizza money just in case.”

Seokmin’s eyes widened. “I like pizza! With lots and lots of pepperoni and lots and lots of cheese. Can you order pizza Y/N?” He clapped his hands together. “I promise I’ll do all my homework and I won’t say nothing. We never had pizza before.”

You mulled it over a little bit more, not really trusting the child’s word, but when your stomach growled, you agreed. “Fine. Start it now and I’ll call.” You had to admit that it was a comical sight to see Seokmin zoom out of the room and put his backpack back in in record time.

He pulled out his folder, sending a few loose papers flying in the process and searched through them until he found the one for his reading log. “I don’t like reading so can we do it last?”

The homework session flew by with moderate amounts of complaints from Seokmin (despite his promise to stay quiet) and almost crying a couple of times because he couldn’t pronounce some of the words right. The pizza arrived before he finished so he ate while he read, getting some of the oil on the paper and you telling him to put his slice down so he can concentrate and by the time the Lees came home, he was grumbling about taking the empty box to the trash and how he could’ve been playing with his cars. But he smiled the whole time and begged his parents to let you sleepover and then to go with his dad to take you home even though you lived across the street.

“You’re coming tomorrow, right?” He asked hopefully before you left.

“Tomorrow and the day after that,” you promised.

“Y/N, will you still take care of me when I grow up?”

“Ask me in 10 years Seok. You might change your mind and be too old for a babysitter then. Good night.”

Y/N age 13:

“I can’t believe I’m finally going to your house! You’ve been in my life forever and I never knew what the inside of your house looks like.” Seokmin talked a lot faster when he was excited so all you caught about this conversation was how it was related to you was how his new best friend having a pool at his house and him (the friend) going swimming whenever he wanted, among other things. He stopped talking long enough to watch you unlock your door and he changed the subject. “Is your room messy like mine or does someone make you clean it? Do you have to do chores too? One time my friend got his Xbox taken away because he didn’t wash dishes the other day…”

“Seokmin, I’ve had a long day, and I’d appreciate it if you stayed quiet for two minutes, please.” You flopped on the couch, closing your eyes and hoping to finish the day. A new school was tough enough but it was tougher when you were trying to fit in with the crowds and no one spared you a second glance. It didn’t help that you had developed a fast crush on a boy in one of your classes when he picked up your mechanical pencil and said red was his favorite color. “Do you want something to eat?” When he didn’t answer, you opened your eyes to see Seokmin wiping his own. “Hey are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Do you not like me anymore Y/N?” He sniffed. “You never talked to me like that.”

You let out a big breath, reminding yourself to be patient with the young boy. “Yes Seokmin, I still like you. I just...didn’t have the best day.”

“My mommy says it isn’t good to do things like that.” He stopped the last of his tears, and quietly took out his homework to work on on the coffee table.

“I’m sorry,” you told him after awhile. “I’ll try harder...but listen, I know the neighbors got a new dog. Do you wanna go see if they’ll let us walk him?”

At that, Seokmin forgot about the pain in his heart and smiled wide enough for all his teeth to show through. “I like dogs! Can we get slushies too?”

“If you want,” you shrugged. “I just don’t want you to be sad anymore. You’re not Seokmin if you’re not smiling.”

“I won’t be sad anymore Y/N! Promise!” He crossed his heart with his finger and beamed at you until you laughed. “Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Do I make you happy? Even when I’m annoying?”

“You are without a doubt one of my favorite kids.” You found his beanie on the couch and put it on him in case the air had a chilly bite to it, and patted his head fondly. “Then again, you’re the only one I watch most days of the week.”

“When I grow up, do you think there’ll be someone you’ll love more than me?”

“Ask me in 10 years pal. As of right now, no.” Although you couldn’t help thinking about that guy in your class.

Y/N age 14:

“I’m too old for a babysitter,” he huffed.

“Seokmin, the fact that you and your friends had to graffiti a wall when you were unsupervised says otherwise.” You sighed. Truthfully, a 12-year-old had some (or should’ve had) common sense at this point so even you didn’t know why you still watched him. You would’ve rather stayed home curled up somewhere, taking an online quiz about which Big Time Rush boy was your soulmate or memorizing the newest One Direction song and cursing the peak of puberty for the imbalances of your life.

But because the Lees still paid you to watch their son, Seokmin sometimes felt more like the gum under your shoe you couldn’t get rid of no matter how many times you tried scraping it against the pavement instead of a friend due to your closeness in age and all the time you spent together. Sometimes you wanted to talk to him about books or music or something that piqued your interest but he still found joy playing in the mud and throwing bugs in your direction. You scoffed at the simplicity of his life. You already knew how you wanted to live. You wanted out of here, going to the school that offered you the best job skills and working the hours you wanted and still have time for your friends. But for now, even just a concert would suffice. Instead, the sun beat down on you and Seokmin as you waited for his piano teacher to arrive and you didn’t wanna hear him complain about being old enough to be here by himself. He had been growing at a steady rate so it was somewhat of a challenge to ruffle his hair in apology because you agreed with him but you managed.

“Why do I even have to play the piano Y/N? It’s so boring.”

You felt the offense personally, but waved it off. “It could come in handy someday.” You pictured your future love in the form of your idol serenading you with a ballad and sighed dreamily. “The greatest composers are still remembered for playing the piano and you know something? You can control the emotion with just a stroke of the keys.”

“Still sounds boring.”

“Well, I tried,” you laughed. “I’ll let you in a secret though.” Seokmin’s eyes widened and he leaned in closer to you, eager for you to spill. You lowered your voice, making it seem like it was important that this information be shared with him only, “If you don’t like it, your mom said we can find something else for you to do. But just give it a shot, okay?”

“Okay, I will!” He bounced up and down. “But if I don’t like it, can we go watch movies or go play at the park?”

“Not today, but we will if you don’t like it. We’re just trying to keep you out of trouble.” You ruffled his hair again and kneeled. You pointed to your lap and he raised his left foot so you tie his shoe.

“I don’t cause trouble,” he pouted. “When I grow up, you’ll see that I’m an angel.”

Y/N, age 15:

You were on your feet, giving Seokmin his standing ovation before he even finished hitting the last note, and he stared out at the crowd, finding you easily. The audience followed soon after, most of them standing up as well. He shuffled off his seat, his pudgy hand waving excitedly at everyone. Tears pooled at his eyes from the emotion and a few slipped and he wiped them away just as quickly. Win or lose, you knew he gave his all and that was the most important thing. The host shuffled him backstage, announcing a quick intermission for deliberation and the crowd started voicing their opinions, some louder than others and you had to cover your ears.

Although you didn’t watch Seokmin anymore, it didn’t mean anything, especially recently. His parents had it let it drop that Seokmin was being bullied at school and he needed all the support he could get while they worked with the administrators to do something about it before they took the law into their own hands. That meant distracting him with whatever he wanted and protecting him when you heard particularly nasty comments about him. (Now you weren’t a fighter by any means, but you didn’t exactly shy away from throwing a couple of punches or books when necessary, regardless of age, gender, or height.)

He found his escape on the piano, pouring out his sentiments onto the keys and playing for several hours and you could often hear the heartbreaking melodies, wanting to console him and find everyone who hurt the precious human who said hello to plants every morning and often stayed wary of the insects. You did pride yourself on finding a couple of them and dragging them by the ear to apologize though it wasn’t a complete loss.

You could feel Mrs. Lee’s clammy hand wrap around yours as everyone held their breath. Fifth place was announced, followed by the fourth, third, second, the honorable mentions and finally to no one’s surprise, Seokmin’s name was called as he won first place, the host stating that the song choice baffled the judges, especially when his he opened his mouth to sing. He was still crying when he met everyone outside minutes later, holding both his parents and hiccuping whenever he tried composing himself. His sister sprayed him with silly string and offered to treat him to breakfast the next time they hung out. And you merely held out the bouquet of roses to him, showering him with all the compliments you could think of and watching his eyes mist up again from the praise. You stuck a twig full of leaves on his hair to distract him and it worked.

“Y/N, are you always gonna be like this?” He asked, dodging his mom’s kiss as discreetly as possible.

“Like what?”

“Being here when I grow up.”

You smiled at him. “Buddy, I think it’d be a crime to not to at this point.” You wiped the sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his sweater you were holding.

Y/N, age 16:

“I mean, if you wanna sing, then sing.” You had bumped into a tall and awkward 14-year-old Seokmin at a karaoke night, you with your friends and him with his. Well, you had passed his table and he pulled on your backpack and hid behind the food menu so you shrugged it off and walked away.

He had the habit of greeting you with an ear-splitting scream because you didn’t see each other as often as you were used to. (High school...what could you do? You wanted to shred your old image ad start a new one, though you weren’t sure how. Your teenage rebellion did give your family a headache so you knew you were doing something right). He told you about the possibility of moving to Seoul City to pursue his new dream of becoming famous. His asset turned out to be his voice which you couldn’t help but grin at the recognition.

“I’m leaving next week so tonight we’re having a night of fun.” He beamed at you. “But we should do a duet like we used to when I was little before we go!”

Because he was sitting down, he made it easy for you to pat his head and then pull his hoodie over him so he wouldn’t be cold. “If I don’t forget, then yeah. I’ll be-” you searched for your favorite table, cheering silently when you saw it was vacant, “-right over there if you need me. I won’t be as good as you though. You mom tells me you’ve been practicing.”

“I try. Okay Y/N, I’ll pick the song and then I’ll let you know!” He wiped pizza sauce from his mouth, missing a spot. “If they throw food though, at least you won’t have to pay.” He laughed at his own joke before one of his friends dragged him away from you and led him to an air hockey table.

“Doesn’t he use your honorific?” Your friend asked once you were seated.

“He used to when we met, but I told him it wasn’t necessary. I’m not that much older than him.” It never felt weird that Seokmin addressed you so casually just because he felt like a friend now, not someone you used to babysit. “Besides, I’m already used to it, so if he started to do it, I don’t know how I’d feel.”

“Besides old?” You smacked your friend playfully. “I’m just saying. It’s not a bad thing, but I was just curious.”

A couple of hours passed by, and you were sure Seokmin had forgotten about his proposal when he came out of nowhere just as you were starting dessert. He told you he thought long and hard on his decision and he chose a Disney favorite: “If I Didn’t Have You” from Monsters Inc. and you let him take the lead, putting all his emotion into his parts and you trying to match the passion and failing.

“I hope we can do this in future when we grow up,” he smiled, fanning his face and you nodded in agreement, not telling him it’d be awhile until you went onstage again. You held hands as you as you took the final bow and yelling at him for leaving you up there.

Y/N, age 17:

“Seokmin, this is my boyfriend.” You didn’t expect to run into the boy while you visited the city, but then again, you didn’t expect your parents to let you explore Seoul City with your boyfriend and yet here you were. After window shopping for a large part of the day, you decided to have lunch at a fast food restaurant. And as you were leaving, you held the door open for a handful of rowdy boys and it was only when the last one thanked you that you recognized him.

He had grown taller, obviously and if puberty wasn’t done hitting him yet, it’d continue. He lost a lot of his baby face and weight overall, and you could see he was slowly getting comfortable with that. His eyes still held the naivety which surprised you because you expected a lot of it to be lost (mostly because a lot of 15-year-olds understood the concept of dirty jokes, hormones and the fact that society rejected anyone who didn’t confine to the norm, amongst other things) and his smile was as wide as ever as he grabbed you in a bear hug, and even though you missed seeing the precious boy in your neighborhood, you had to push him away because he reeked of dirty socks and an enclosed space.

Seokmin waved at him eagerly and continued catching you up on his life as if you weren’t blocking the doorway and there weren't any people trying to get in and out as fast as they could. “I’m here having lunch with my hyungdeul.” He pointed to everyone there saying their names faster than you could keep up. “We have seven boys, one from China and a young one from America and there’s another boy who has the same birthday as me! How exciting! Now we get to have two cakes and double the presents! They want us to debut with 17 boys...isn’t that crazy?!”

“I bet, How are you holding on?”

His smile faltered a bit. “Sometimes I wanna quit because it’s so hard, but there’s a boy named Seungkwan who keeps telling me to go home, but he only makes me wanna try harder. I think I like him but I’m not too sure. There’s another boy named Hoshi who helps me with my dancing so that helps.”

“Dokyeomie,” you heard someone call out and Seokmin turned his head. “Your food’s ready and it’s getting cold. I’m not responsible if someone eats it.”

“Coming hyung!” he called brightly.

You stared at him in confusion. “Dokyeomie?”

“Oh yeah! They call me Dokyeom or DK or whatever! It’s so cool to have a nickname! Can you call me that from now on, now that I’m grown up?”

You tiptoed to remove an insect that had gotten caught on his hair. “I mean I can try. Don’t move. You have a ladybug in your hair.” He froze his tracks so you were able to take it off quickly, and ruffling his hair in farewell. “We’ll see. It was nice seeing you and good luck with your group.” Once you had gotten outside, you made a wish on the ladybug, hoping that Seokmin, err DK would get everything his little heart desired.

Y/N, age 18:

You didn’t expect to see Seokmin at your graduation party so he managed to render you speechless. From what the Lees told you, he’d been working hard and fighting hard for the chance to debut because the company who scouted him couldn’t afford to keep him or any of his members and they preferred to cut their losses. “You’re here!” You managed to say through your shock. You hugged him dumbly, quite sure you were dreaming and you’d wake up soon. Nope...his arms wrapping around you felt too real but even then you weren’t convinced.

“This is one of the biggest achievements in your life and you think I’d miss it?” Although he was teasing you, you could see the hurt making his way to his face. “I think it’s time for me to be here for you this time don’t you think?”

“Oh please, when you debut it’ll be the same thing as always.” You eyed the gift bag in his hand curiously. “What’s that?”

He hid it behind his back shyly at seeing your boyfriend beside you and kiss your head. “Oh it’s nothing...just something that my friend Mingyu helped me make for you. I’ll leave it on the table.”

“Oh no. I wanna open it now. Lemme see.” You reached for it, but due to Seokmin’s never-ending growth spurt he easily put it out of your reach and you had to fight him just to get it. “Good to know you’re still a child,” you told him good-naturedly when you failed to reach him and he lowered it enough for you to snatch it from him. You peered inside, frowning at the tissue paper that covered the present. You took it out gently and were met with a card. You opened it, not recognizing the names inside, congratulating you and wishing you well.

“My bandmates wanted to sign it,” he explained. “I hope that’s okay.” He pointed to each one, explaining who each one was and filling you in on what they were doing that day. “Who knows? Maybe if we debut and we’re famous, they might be worth something.” The unspoken hung in the air and you changed the subject.

You moved onto the actual gift in the form of a shirt. You gave the bag to your boyfriend and unfolded the shirt, doubling over in laughter. “Really?”

“What? My favorite babysitter needs to support her favorite kid and what better way than this?”

“Yeah Seokmin, but it isn’t it a bold assumption to say you’ll be my bias? How do you know that…” you scanned the names on the card quickly, “the dinosaur won’t be it?”

“I...don't think he’d be your type; he’s still a baby.”

“And you aren’t?” He ducked down to your level to pout and you used the excuse to pull the beanie he was wearing down to his eyes. “See?”

“Excuse me? I already grew up!” He wrapped his arm around your neck, grabbing you in a chokehold and not letting you go until you called him an adult.

“You still have a ways to go, dude,” you smiled at him. “Thanks again for coming.”

“When I grow up more, you’ll do the same for me.”

Y/N, age 19:

With the exception of Seokmin and his family, you weren’t familiar with one person in the room, but your eyes prickled with tears for everyone. It was actually happening. After what felt like an eternity of walking on eggshells, everyone had gotten the news that Seventeen would be debuting, albeit with 13 members. But that was only half the struggle. The other half would be staying afloat with what they had for the time being. You hoped that everything would work out for them in the long run. They’ve worked too hard and sacrificed more than everything to get to this point. The boys hugged each other, their parents, each other's parents and each other again, all while crying and hollering and praising the leader, producer and choreographer (you couldn’t tell who anyone was, but that would change soon, you promised yourself) for their talents and efforts.

You could feel your phone vibrating in your pocket but you opted to ignore it. Your boyfriend knew you’d be here already and you wouldn’t be home until midnight, the earliest. It’s not that you had been having problems lately, but something felt amiss, like something was fading. You could almost feel the beginning of the end of the relationship, but you were trying to keep it alive. He was too. But there was a small, subconscious part of you that knew that the first love magic was wearing off, not that either of you mentioned it out loud. You felt a little bitter about it, but you were gonna ride it out until the end...no matter how long it was and with no regrets.

Seokmin running to you from behind and enveloping you in a back hug brought you back to the present moment. You could feel the wetness of his cheeks on your neck and you turned around wipe the tears from his face with your sweater paws. “Are you proud of me Y/N?”

“I’ve been proud of you since you decided to do this. You’ve grown up really fast. I can’t wait to see what else you decide to.” You hugged him again. “I can’t believe just yesterday I was tying your shoes so your laces wouldn’t get stuck to the pedal and now you’re gonna be this big star. It’s amazing.”

“Thank you for believing in me Y/N. I promise I’ll do the best I can as I grow up as an artist.” He bowed. “Aren’t you gonna play with my hair now?”

Y/N, age 20:

finally split with your boyfriend as 18-year-old Seokmin captured the hearts of fans all over Asia and the world.

Y/N, age 21:

said goodbye to everyone in Yongin to move to Gangnam with the promise of a good job and college life while Seventeen rose on the charts

Y/N, age 22:

finally attended a Seventeen concert. The seats weren’t the best and the shirt he gave you for from graduation was still too big, no matter how many times you tried to shrink it, but you had fun watching him. Your heart flip flopped a little when he smiled at the crowd and you proceeded to drink your water as fast as you could.

Y/N, age 23: moved closer to Seoul City because of a better job offer; Seventeen travelled the world both for work and leisure.

Y/N, age 24: The barista gingerly placed your coffee on the table and back away, unnoticed. You looked up from the laptop when the aroma reached your nose and took a small sip before resuming your typing. It wasn’t everyday that you had a chance to breathe and you took advantage of going out to your favorite coffee shop. From the first moment you stepped in there, it had the otherworldly feel and you just loved the homeliness of it, so whenever you had a moment to breathe, you stopped here. Between work, school, making new friends and looking for a potential relationship, you were still learning how to divide your time but figuring out something had to go. You stirred the cup with the little straw absently with your free hand, keeping a majority of your attention on your email.

“Y/N?”

You looked up the person who called you, your brain registering it as Seokmin’s voice but not processing it quickly enough because it still surprised you when you saw him. “Oh, hi.” Your eyes widened and you blinked a few times just to make sure you weren’t hallucinating. “Hi!” You stood up to greet him properly, but unsure whether to hug him or bow. He was an idol now, after all.

He decided for you, reaching for the hug. He grabbed you tightly, wrapping his arms around you as if he didn’t intend to let you go and he sighed deeply. “How are you? What are you doing here? Can I get you something? Wow it’s so good to see you.”

“I’m good. You look good. How are you?”

“Good. I’m taking a break. Woozi hyung needed some more coffee and he asked me to bring him another cup while I was still out.” He smiled widely. “What brings you here?”

“I live here now. I mean I’ve lived here for the past year. I mean, not here, here but here in Seoul.”

“That’s so cool! You have to let me show you around sometime! Or we should hangout! Whatever works for you! Wow, it’s so great to see you!”

You could feel the blush on your cheeks at that. “It’s really great to see you again Seokmin. The years have really good to you and you’ve grown up well.” You straightened the collar on his jacket.

“I dunno about that. SCoups is always threatening to find me a babysitter, so if you’re interested in taking up that job again, feel free to call him.” He scratched the back of his head. “Hey Y/N, do you wanna grab dinner tonight? I know it’s sudden and you have things to do but tonight I’ll be off early and I don’t know when we’ll run into each other again so-”

“Sure.” You held out out your phone to him. “Call your phone from mine and then you can text me the address later.”

And that’s exactly what he did.

Seokmin, age 23:

Seokmin had always been a dreamer, but he never expected his childhood crush to be sitting next to him while they watched movies. He watched your intense expression as you focused on the screen, piecing the puzzle together and your eyes widening when you figured it out. Seokmin didn’t know how you did it, but he knew if he asked, you’d gladly share your theory. He saw your bouncing in your seat from keeping quiet, so he paused it and asked you. When you finished, he smiled at you and cupped your cheek, still not quite used to the fact that he could do it freely.

“What?”

“I’m just really happy to have you, you know that?” He closed his eyes when he felt your fingers dust off the crumbs from his face. Some things, he realized, never changed and he had never been more okay with that fact than right now. “I’ve been in love with you for so long and then this happens after a few years of not seeing you.” The old shirt he gave you was still too big but it touched his heart that you kept it in good condition and still wore it to this day.

“You’re still smiling. Share.”

“Do you remember what I told you a long time ago?” He threw his arm around you and brought you closer to him. He kissed your hair and nuzzled you.

“Seok, you told me a lot of things. I can’t remember everything.”

“What did you always tell me?”

“‘Seokmin, stop running with scissors before you hurt yourself?’”

“Every time I asked you a question Jagi,” he giggled. He kissed your forehead this time.

“‘Ask me in 10 years?’ Okay, what about it?”

“It’s been longer than 10 years. I can’t remember everything I asked, but here you are, taking care of me still.”

“The circumstances are different, but still. Why are you asking me all this though?”

He let go of you and fumbled around his pockets until he produced a ring. “Will you take care of me for another 10 years? Maybe more? It’s not an engagement ring because I know we still have a lot to do, but it’s a promise ring. Will you accept that Jagi?”

He slipped it on your finger when you nodded and you stared at him dumbfounded. “Just how long have you been in love with me?”

“Awhile.”

“How long do you plan to stay in love with me?”

“Always.” He pulled you close him and he could feel you playing with his hair, the way he remembered you doing it millions of times. Your fingers never lost the tender touch and it was one of the times he felt like a kid again. “Maybe when we grow up more, I’ll understand everything.”

“Seokmin?”

“Yes my love?”

“We did grow up.”

He kissed your lips. “But now, we can grow up...together.”

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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Animals Do you prefer cats or dogs? I’m a dog person for sure.

If you had to choose, which animal would you like to be reincarnated as? A dog.

Some say peoples personalities or looks resemble animals. Whats your animal? Probably a sloth, ha.

Books Which book series was the first you read? As a kid I loved Nancy Drew, The Babysitter’s Club, Sweet Valley High, and Goosebumps.

What was the last book you read? I’m currently reading Autumn’s Game by Mary Stone.

Would you rather write a book or direct a movie? Write a book.

Characters Which TV show/movie/book character do you think you are most like? Hmm. I don’t know.

Which superhero is your favourite and why? Iron Man, Spiderman, Ant-Man, Star Lord, Thor.

What's your favourite fairytale character? Is Alice in Wonderland a fairytale?

Dreams Do you usually remember your dreams? I’ll remember it briefly and then it like vanishes. My dreams are like a Snapchat.

Are most of your dreams good, scary or just plain weird? Just plain weird, man.

What dream that you've had has stuck in your head the most? Describe: The nightmares or the ones that make me wake up crying and shaking don’t like to vanish, unfortunately. Those get saved to the camera roll.

Emotions What emotion do you find yourself trying to hide from others? I’m definitely not as good at hiding my emotions anymore. They took over and control me now.

How emotional/sentimental would you say you are? A lot. I’m so damn moody.

Do your emotions control you or do you control your emotions? Like I said, they definitely control me.

Fun What do you do for fun? May not be considered fun, but my days are spent checking my social medias, watching YouTube, watching TV, reading, scrolling through Tumblr, doing surveys, spending time with my family, lounging around, and perhaps a little coloring. I like doing those things, though, so it works for me.

Which is more fun: cycling, watching tv, roller coaster ride or cooking? Uhh, the only thing I like out of those choices is watching TV.

What is the funnest game to play? I love board games.

Geometry Nearest square thing to you? The throw pillows on my bed.

What was the last circular thing you ate? Cookies.

Is there anything triangular in the room you're in right now? I’m sure, but nothing triangular is popping out at me at the moment and I don’t feel like really looking around and thinking about it.

Height Are you taller or shorter than average? I’m 5′4, which is short, but not shorter than average I don’t think.

Is your Mum tall or short? How about your Dad? My mom is about 5′5 and my dad is about 5′9.

Do you wish you were taller or shorter? I wish I was taller.

If... If you became pregnant or your partner did, what would you do? Well, I can’t get pregnant, sooo.

If you lost something your friend lent to you, what would you do? I would feel really bad, first of all. I’d be nervous to tell them, especially if it was something that was special and unique. I’d of course have to tell them, though, and I’d replace it if possible. If it wasn’t replaceable... I don’t know what I would do. All I could do is apologize immensely and somehow try to make it up to them. I’d be super careful if a friend lent me anything, though, regardless of what it was. I also probably would just not borrow something that wasn’t replaceable or expensive to avoid all of that.

If you had to talk about 1 subject for a minute live on TV, which one? Yikes. That minute would feel like forever, I have no idea. Pass.

Jokes Do you normally tell jokes or listen to the jokes? I’m not a joke teller except maybe some cheesy, corny one I might have heard now and then.

What is your sense of humour like (dry, dark, sarcastic etc)? I laugh at a lot of things. I like puns and clever humour but I also like dumb things and dry things too. I think it's just really easy to make me laugh. <<< Yeah, pretty much.

Kisses Do you put x's in your text messages? No.

When did you last have a kiss? 8 years ago...

Does your grandma give you big sloppy kisses when she sees you? No. She gives me a big hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.

Language How many languages can you say 'hello my name is...' in? Three.

What language do you think sounds the nicest? I think they’re all unique and interesting.

What language do you want to learn more of? I’d love to be fluent in Spanish. I can only speak and understand a little. Brushing up on it by helping my mom do her Duolingo everyday for the past few months has been helpful.

Marriage Do you ever want to get married? No. I truly don’t see that happening for me.

Church or Registery Office? Dream wedding?

Names Your closest friends names? I don’t have any friends.

What names would you ever call your kids? I don’t want to have kids.

What name is the cutest for a little black and white doggie? I’m someone who needs to see and get a vibe from the dog first before naming them. And not just something that has to do with their color.

Order Are you tidy? I’m not a messy person, like I don’t have clothes or stuff on my floor, I put my dishes in the sink after using them, I throw stuff away when I’m done, etc, but my room has become disorganized and a bit cluttered. I just have too much stuff and not enough space.

Do you colour code things or put them in alphabetical order? No.

Do you have any form of OCD? No. People throw that around loosely.

Promises Do you make promises often? No.

What was the last promise you made? I don’t even remember.

Do you plan to keep that promise?

Quizzes What types of online quizzes/surveys do you like taking? I like surveys with random and interesting questions that allow me to elaborate. And vent and ramble, too. I like ones like this that are divided up into categories. Themed surveys are fun as well.

Have you ever made a quiz? What was it about? No. I made a survey once a longggg time ago.

Have you ever taken an EQ or IQ test? If so, what did you get? I’ve taken IQ tests and got “above average.”

Responsibility Do you class yourself as 'responsible'? Not as much as I should be at 31 years old. :/ These past few years especially I really feel like I haven’t been responsible with a lot of things that I should be.

What do you think defines a 'responsible' person? Someone dependable, keeps their commitments, and handles their business. They get shit done.

What is it that you are responsible for? Paying my bills, taking care of myself (haven’t been doing very well with that...), my doctor appointments, cleaning up after myself...

Secrets Do you have a lot of secrets? Not really. I’m quite boring.

"A secret isn't a secret if you tell one person." Is this true to you? Uhhh, that does make sense. You think of a secret as something you don’t share with someone else. I guess if it’s something you tell someone or a few select people that you trust that you wouldn’t want getting out to anyone else it could still be a secret, right? Something you don’t want everyone to know. *shrug*

Thought Provoking If you knew you had a high chance of dying, would you kill yourself before disease riddled you unable or hope for the best? Jeez. I don’t want to think about that.

Choose a box: 1 has a large amount of money, the other either a wish or fear of yours come true. Which do you pick? The money is tempting, but I might go with the wish...

An angel comes to you and offers to show you one thing from the future or the past; past or future and what is that thing gonna be? The future terrifies me, I’d be afraid to know a lot of things regarding my future. But I already know my past, so I don’t know what I’d ask them to show me. I don’t knowwww.

Unlucky

Would you say you are more unlucky or lucky? I don’t believe in luck. I would say I have had a lot of bad cards dealt to me and I also am fortunate in other ways.

A leprechaun pops up and offers to plant some luck on you but it could go either way. Risk it or dismiss it? Dismiss it.

Violence When did you last hit or punch someone? I haven’t hit or punched anyone.

When did you last get hit or punched? Never.

Are you more likely to be verbally aggressive or physically? I’m not an aggressive person.

Warnings Do you listen when someone gives you a warning? I want to say I would likely listen to a warning, but I guess it would depend what it was about.

What warning has someone gave you that you wish you'd have listened to? That I should have taken care of some things sooner and not ignored/put them off for so long.

What warning has someone gave you you are glad you didn't take? I’m blanking right now. XXX

Have you ever had sex? No.

Have you ever accidentally saw someone having sex? No.

YouTube Do you go onto YouTube? I spend a lot of time on YouTube.

What is your favourite video of on YouTube? I don’t have just one favorite, I have a ton. I’m especially into ASMR.

What channels do you go on the most? I’m subscribed to several people---ASMRtists, vloggers, lifestyle videos, Disney related channels, a mukbanger, a drama commentary channel, and a channel that does videos on abandoned places and the rise and fall of former businesses that are no longer around.

Zodiac What's your starsign? Leo.

What are the traits of that sign? Do you have them? Leos are described as being very opposite of me that’s for sure. I don’t believe in that stuff anyway, though.

What zodiac sign do you think you suit the most? I don’t care.

Number 1 Name me 1 person who has changed your life for the better? My mom.

Name me 1 object that's in your kitchen right now? My Keurig.

Name one creature that freaks you out/scares you? ALL bugs.

Number 2 2nd person that you talked to today was... I haven’t talked to anyone yet, it’s 820AM and my mom is asleep and my dad and brother are at work.

What is 2 times your favourite number? 16.

You and two of your friends have got in trouble with the law. Who are the 2 friends you have got in trouble with and what did you do? No friends, sooo.

Number 3 3 words that don't describe you at all: Healthy, ambitious, confident.

Who is 3rd in your contacts list on your phone? I don’t feel like checking.

In 3 more days, what will the date be? It will be January 25, 2021.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #categories

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meganshinsou-tm · 5 years

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be mine. (f)

☙ pairing: ojiro x reader

☙ theme: valentines day confession

☙ cw/tw: profanity, fluff, confessions, gifts, first-kiss, bros helping bros

☙ a/n-request: Hello! I love your blog and I was wondering if I could request scenario for Ojiro. Having it be Valentine's day and he decides to make some chocolates for his crush to ask her out on a date but he ends up getting nervous and seeks the help of the guys to do it

Black eyes watched you as you walked from desk to desk, handing out small bags full of heart shaped cookies you made. A bright and friendly smile remained on your face and a pink dusted your cheeks as you’d scratch the back of your neck as your classmates thanked you. You were so shy sometimes when people acknowledged you and it was too adorable to a certain someone.

“So,” a suave and familiar voice spoke out from behind Ojiro as he felt hands around the fluffy end of his tail, “Did you give (Y/N) those chocolates yet?”

Ojiro froze and his cheeks turned pink as he turned around and swatted at Kaminari with his tail. “Shut up dude!”

The electric boy chuckled and rubbed his shoulder.

“I take that as a ‘no’. What are you waiting for? You stayed up all night making those things!”

Ojiro shrugged his shoulders and rubbed his head as he looked back around at you. He smiled when you looked at him and waved, going back to talking to Izuku. For the longest time Ojiro had the biggest crush on you. Ever since first year, the two of you were close friends and worked in teams a lot. You’d even hangout outside of class, watching movies, going to the arcade or taking walks together. He enjoyed your company more than anything and he could relax and be himself around you, at least when he wasn’t thinking about how adorable you were. Sometimes you’d do something cute like sneeze or blush when he complimented your skills and smarts. He seemed to make you laugh and smile a lot and it was always the highlight of his day.

The two of you even walked to and from class together and ate lunch together everyday. Ojiro had an inkling that you had the same thoughts and feelings towards him but he knew you were too shy to act upon them. So it was up to him to make a move and he didn’t mind, in fact he was one of those types that believed the guy should make the first move no matter what.

So, as Valentine’s Day neared closer Ojiro came up with a plan to make you your favorite chocolates and add a little something extra. Some of his fingertips were singed off from him accidentally burning himself on the stove-top during the process but when he had the finished product laid out, it was all worth it, you were worth it. If only he could find the courage to give them to you. He didn’t want to just hand them over and walk away and he really didn’t want to do it in front of everyone else. He wanted it to be special.

“Hello? Earth to Tailman!”

Ojiro widened his eyes and looked back at Denki with a sheepish smile, “Sorry, what did –“

“Mashi”

The blonde was cut off as you cheered out your nickname for him and appeared at his desk suddenly, placing your palms on the surface of it and leaning in close to him. He blushed profusely and his tail started to wag on the floor between Kaminari’s feet.

“What the?”

Denki quietly questioned as he looked down and back up to see Ojiro’s condition, making him cover his mouth and hide a laugh.

“You were late this morning, are you okay?”

“Uh – yeah I just kind of went to bed really late last night and overslept,” the blonde replied with a sheepish smile.

You pouted your lips and ran your fingers through Ojiro’s short hair and cupped his chin. It wasn’t an unusual exchange between the two of you, in fact you were pretty handsy with Ojiro. You always touched his face and played with his hair, especially when you were worried or concerned about him. His favorite thing was when you’d pass out on the common room couch with him and snuggle with his tail. Ojiro blushed but his body was lax and his tail slowly swayed back and forth.

“I bet you were studying again huh? You work yourself too hard, take a break every now and then. In the meantime, here –“ you paused and removed your other hand from behind your back, placing a small box on his desk, “Enjoy your valentine’s day gift from me! Don’t finish them all off before lunch though. Maybe tonight we can watch a movie and share all our goodies we get together yeah?”

Ojiro was shocked as he looked at the small red and pink box, wrapped with ribbon and a bow. Looking around the class he saw that all the other cookies you had given out were just in decorated plastic gift bags, not boxes as extravagant as his. He smiled and nodded in agreement, his hand reached into his bag to grab the gift he made for you but before he could fully take it out, Mina had called over to you making you turn and wave. Ojiro slowly dropped the box back into his bag and half smiled as you turned back to him.

“I’m gonna go see what she wants, see you at lunch?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” he softly replied as you smiled at him and tossed a small bag of cookies to Kaminari behind him before taking off in the opposite direction.

Denki opened his bag of cookies and immediately started to eat them, making inhuman sounds and drooling over how good they were. He leaned over Ojiro’s shoulder and looked at the box at his desk. Denki knit his brows together and looked at the small bag of cookies he got.

“Hey that’s no fair! What did you get,” he whined and reached for the box but Ojiro held him back with his tail laughing.

The school bell rang, signaling that it was time for lunch. You looked over at Ojiro and he acknowledged you, waving and mouthing that he’d be there shortly. Smiling, you and the other girls left the room and headed for the cafeteria. In no time almost all the boys of the class were at Ojiro’s desk, questioning what was in the decorative box and why they only got a small bag of cookies.

“Mashi gets special treatment because (Y/N)’s his girlfriend!” Kaminari teased and Ojiro smacked him with his tail.

“Well open it! I bet it’s sexy lingerie,” a familiar creepy and pervy voice demanded from behind the crowd of men.

Everyone turned to look at the small purple perv. Ojiro narrowed his eyes and sent Mineta flying out of the door with a swift swing of his muscular tail. Sero politely taped the door shut and everyone shook their head as Mineta clawed and whined outside of the door like an animal.

“Seriously though man, open it!” Kirishima interjected.

“Excuse me, but this gift (Y/N) gave Ojiro specifically, which must mean that it is private. He is in no way obligated to show us anything if he doesn’t want to!” Iida stated as his arms signaled up and down.

The blonde held up his hand and tried to calm his class president down. He was blushing from all the attention his gift was garnering from his friends. He was just as anxious to see what you had given him so he nodded and told everyone to calm down and he’d open it. All the boys looked at each other and chilled, Bakugou rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue as he got up from his desk and marched out, dragging a whining Kirishima along with him.

Ojiro untied the bow and let the delicate ribbon slide from the box. His fingers grabbed the sides and lifted it as the bottom started to slide out. Once Ojiro removed the lid, him and all his friends leaned in closer and looked at the treats inside. Along with a generous amount of the cookies you gave out to everyone else, you also gave him his favorite flavored Ranmue candy, matcha green tea Pocky and fruit flavored candies. The blonde smiled as he realized you had gone out of your way to gather all his favorite sweets. Ojiro wasn’t a big fan of chocolates himself, he’d eat them but they weren’t his preference and you remembered that.

“Whoa, she went all out huh? Look there’s even an envelope under all the candy!” Sero pointed out.

Ojiro dug through the sweets and grabbed the white envelope. He opened it to reveal a hand-drawn doodle of you and him, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day Mashi,’ was written underneath the sketch and he smiled. This entire box was so thoughtful and it was the best gift he had ever received. He wanted to find you immediately and thank you!

“So Mashi, you gonna give her those chocolates you worked so hard on?” Denki asked with a mouth full of cookies, crumbs falling from the corner of his mouth.

“Oh yeah, geez after seeing this … I’m not sure if my gift can top it,” Ojiro sulked as he started to feel bad for not going all out like you had.

“I’m sure (Y/N) wouldn’t care. You made her gift yourself and put a lot of heart into it, she seems like the type that would really appreciate that type of thing,” Izuku stated with a smile.

Ojiro pulled out the box that held the candy he made for you and toyed with it back and forth in his palms. As he thought more about it, Izuku was right. You were a really appreciative person and never asked for much. Small gestures and offerings made you happy, whether it was Ojiro getting you your favorite tea from the vending machine or him winning you a plushie at one of the school’s culture festivals that you still cherished.

“I just don’t know when the right time to give them to her would be. You see it’s kind of personal and private … I plan on finally confessing to her,” Ojiro finally replied as he blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.

All his friends started to get rowdy and congratulate him, giving him pats on the shoulder and ruffling his hair. It had only been almost two years. Your second year at UA was almost over, only leaving him a year and a few months left to make up for his wasted time. Everyone knew you and Ojiro were meant for each other and it only aggravated them more how neither of you ever made a confession or move.

“Hey, you’re spending time together tonight right? She suggested you watch a movie. That’ll be the perfect time!” Denki suggested.

“But … I don’t want to go all day without giving her something! She already gave me her gift - won’t she get upset?”

“Uh – is there something special in the caf that she likes? Maybe rush in and get her that and her favorite drink, make up some bullshit excuse that you got caught up in studying and forgot about an actual gift. She’ll understand and be totally surprised when you give her the chocolates!” Sero suggested.

Ojiro’s eyes brightened and he nodded, that would definitely work! The dining hall had this cheesecake you loved so much but you always ended up not getting it because you’d spend all your lunch money on actual food before dessert. Jumping from his desk Ojiro thanked his friends and ran towards the cafeteria. On his way he stopped by every vending machine until he found one with your favorite tea. Once he made his way into the cafeteria he spotted you and saw that you didn’t have any cheesecake.

“Perfect!”

A few minutes later Ojiro was walking up behind you, holding his food tray in his hands. His tail swayed from behind his back and in front of you, another tray resting on it with your drink and cheesecake. You looked at it then over your shoulder at your blushing friend.

“Happy Valentine’s Day (Y/N). I’m sorry I didn’t get you something better, I got caught up in studying.”

You smiled and shook your head while removing the tray from his tail and sat it on the table. “Aww Mashi don’t sweat it, I love this! I was actually really craving cheesecake today but as always, I ran out of money!”

Ojiro couldn’t believe his luck and how the suggestion really worked out for him and let out a relieved breath as he sat next to you. You looked at him and leaned over, placing a quick peck to his cheek and giggling as he blushed.

“Thank you so much! Did you look in your box?” You asked as you opened the tea he got you and took a sip.

“I did! That’s the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever gotten me, thank you, you’ll help me eat it all tonight right?”

You smiled and nodded giving him a thumbs up. Ojiro nodded back, bringing the tip of his tail up and tickled your face with the fluffy fur, making you giggle more. Ojiro smirked and started to eat his food, hoping that the rest of the day would fly by.

After class Ojiro walked with you back to the dorms and to your room. He left you to go back to his room and changed into more comfortable clothes, grabbing his box of goodies and your gift as he jogged out the door. When he knocked on your door it took no time for you to answer with a smile on your face. Ojiro entered, making sure to keep your gift wrapped tightly in his tail and out of your sight for the moment.

You grabbed your backpack and turned it upside down, letting a fountain of treats fall out of it and onto your low-rise coffee table. You and Ojiro both laughed as he walked over and added his gift from you to the pile. You smiled and grabbed two drinks from your mini fridge and sat on the floor next to Ojiro, both of you leaning back against your bed.

“So what do we watch Mashi,” you questioned, placing the drinks on the table and grabbing your console controller.

“Uh – what’s that one you’re always going on about that we always try to watch but never do?”

“P.S. I Love You,” you questioned as you looked through Netflix on your tv.

“Yeah, it sounds like you really like that movie and I’ve never seen it so why not?”

Smiling you went straight to the movie the two of you talked about and you looked at Ojiro, “I can’t promise I won’t cry. This movie really gets to me every time.”

Ojiro smiled and realized that this was his chance. Removing his tail from behind his body, he swung it around and caressed your face with the fluffy end that wrapped around your present.

“Well you’ve got my tail to wipe your face with!”

You giggled and grabbed his tail, your fingers brushing against the box wrapped in it. You quirked a brow and looked as he turned his appendage over more for you to see the box clearly, gently releasing it into your lap. You pouted your lips and wrapped your fingers around the object before looking at him with a quizzical smile.

“What’s this?”

“It’s your real Valentine’s Day present. I may have lied a lot today. You see last night I stayed up all night making this and I wanted to wait for the right time to give it to you but I didn’t want you to go all day without at least something after the wonderful gift you gave me.”

Your smile grew bigger and Ojiro could feel his heart beating faster than normal. Without warning, you crawled over his tail and into his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck, hugging him tight and burying your face into him. At first Ojiro stiffened and his face turned beet red, you’ve hugged him plenty of times before but something about this hug was different - you were legit sitting on his lap! But also, you held him in a different way. Slowly he lowered his arms and wrapped them around you, burying his own face into the crook of your neck. He quickly became addicted to the feeling of having you wrapped in his arms, even his tail wrapped around your body adding an extra hug. You smelled like sweet fruit and were extremely warm.

“Thank you so much Oji, this is really sweet of you. Next time though, pace yourself! I could’ve waited!”

Ojiro chuckled as you loosened your hug and sat back to look at him, reaching over to grab your gift that was forgotten on the floor. He let his arms lower, hands resting on the tops of your thighs and smiled, “I’ll remember that next time.”

You let out an ‘good,’ while unwrapping the ribbon from around the rectangular box. Gently sliding the top off, you awed and bit on your lip as your eyes rested on the handmade treats that Ojiro made. In separate small chocolate squares a message was laid out, the letters dusted and colored in red.

‘Be mine.’

Your cheeks were hurting from how big you smiled. Your (e/c) eyes looked up to Ojiro who was softly smiling back.

“Mashi~!”

“I’m not asking you to be mine only for today, I’m asking you to be mine for as long as you’ll have me. Ever since first year you’ve been my best friend and somewhere along the way you’ve become more. I love waking up each morning, knowing you’ll be the first person I see, it’s the thing I look forward to each night when I go to bed. I love how strong and endearing you are, how kind and friendly you are to others. I think it’s cute how you blush when people compliment or praise you, you’re so modest and humble. You never ask for anything but deserve the whole world and … I want to give that to you. I want you – to be mine.”

You bit your lip again, trying to keep your smile from growing any bigger. Your heart was so full and overwhelmed by Ojiro’s sweet confession. There was no way you could top his words and you knew that you didn’t really need to, you just needed to give him an answer. So you cupped the blonde’s cheek and slowly leaned forward pulling him closer to you, smiling upon feeling heat build under the skin of his face. Before he could question what was happening, you closed the remaining distance, placing a kiss to his lips.

Ojiro's black eyes widened as he felt your warm and soft lips on his. Your mouth melded with his perfectly as he relaxed, fluttering his eyes shut and kissing back. His own hand held your face, arm wrapping around and pulling you closer. You smiled and giggled on his lips as you could feel the wind from his tail swaying back and forth, the furry end brushing against you in the process.

Ojiro finally broke your first kiss together and blushed, “I-I’m sorry, I’m just happy, that meant ‘yes’ right?”

You smiled and nodded, kissing him again quickly and chuckling as his tail wrapped around and hugged your waist. “Yes Ojiro, I’ll be yours!”

#ojiro mashirao #ojiro mashirao x reader #tailman #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #fluff #requests #answered request #xreader #reader insert

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backdeck-potato-novelist · 4 years

Text

I Get The Feeling That I’m Right Where I Belong

Chapter 6

AO3

Beginning, Previous, Next

Chloe spent Saturday morning arguing with her father. She didn’t really know what about, just that she didn’t like how he had it planned. Once they had reached a settlement, one that was definitely more in her favor than the original plan had been, she moved on to negotiating with her mother. This discussion was about fashion, and so she was much more invested, to the point of actually caring to remember what she was arguing about. There was a charity gala and auction in two weeks, and Audrey had been working on a new line based on the local Parisian heroes that she wanted Chloe to wear to the gala. The event had something to do with raising money to help with disaster relief somewhere that had been hit by a hurricane, or maybe an earthquake, Chloe didn’t remember. Audrey wanted her in the Ladybug dress. Chloe finally managed to talk her mother down to the Queen Bee tuxedo. Audrey thought it was a bit tacky, Chloe going in an outfit inspired by her own super alter ego. Chloe knew that red did not do her complexion any good, but black and gold, especially the dark gold of this specific ensemble, looked fabulous on her. There was a reason her costume looked like it did. Chloe had also managed to convince Audrey that Kagami should at least try the Ladybug dress, and that if it worked for her, she should wear it to the gala. Chloe was very excited for whenever they would schedule Kagami’s fitting. Her dragon looked very good in red.

Adrien spent Saturday morning in his room. He did not want to be in his room, but he had haggled and bartered with Gabriel for an afternoon out. In exchange, he was stuck in his room. Two hours of piano, an hour of Mandarin, and finishing all of his homework for the next week was probably the second worst Saturday morning he could possibly imagine. The worst was a tie: either his current situation but without Plagg, or Gabriel seeing him on a date with Luka. The first would bore him out of his mind, and the second might result in police involvement. Neither was a good option.

Kagami spent Saturday morning baking. She particularly liked making cookies, and was absolutely fantastic at it, but Chloe loved her blondies, and so whenever she turned the oven on, she would make them. When she was younger, Kagami had decided that baking was stupid and any woman who wanted to bake and went out of her way to do so would only ever amount to being a housewife. That was until Marinette had befriended her, despite Kagami’s attempts to not be taken in by the girl’s charm. Kagami had come over to the bakery one afternoon, before she knew Marinette was Ladybug, and had accidentally ended up helping Sabine make a batch of cupcakes. She stopped by the library on the way home and checked out three cookbooks, and had turned it into a weekend tradition ever since. Marinette had also tried teaching Kagami to knit, though she hadn’t taken to the needles as quickly as the pots and pans.

Nino spent Saturday morning sleeping. He also spent the early afternoon sleeping.

Luka spent Saturday morning walking along the Seine. His mother’s boat could be rather restrictive, the sounds of the people and the water around him were very inspiring, and Juleka snored. A lot. After half an hour of slow meandering, he realised he had subconsciously been making his way towards Adrien’s house. As much as he wanted to see his boyfriend, he turned around. It wouldn’t do either of them any good for him to be seen by the adults of the Agreste manor. Three more weeks. They could wait three more weeks to be seen in public together.

Marinette and Alya spent Saturday morning in Marinette’s room. Marinette woke up first, and so spent some time embroidering a dress she was making for herself. Alya woke up when she rolled off the beanbag she had spent the night on. Marinette helped her back onto the cushion, joined her, and then the two girls spent quite some time pretending they were getting up and ready for the day. Eventually, Sabine poked her head into Marinette’s room and got them actually moving.

At exactly three o’clock, two unremarkable high school students entered the front door of the Grand Hotel of Paris. One of them said goodbye to the gorilla of a man who had driven him there. The other carried a large tote bag stuffed to the brim with somethings that looked suspiciously like cookies wrapped in aluminum foil and plastic wrap. When the first tried to reach for one, his hand was slapped away. Overhead, three superheroes went shooting across the sky, jumping and swinging from rooftop to rooftop. If anyone on the streets of Paris had looked up, they would have seen two blurs, one of red and one of orange. The third teal one was nearly invisible against the clear Parisian sky.

At seven minutes past three, a very disgruntled DJ slammed through the back door of the Grand Hotel of Paris, sprinted up the employee stairwell, and burst into one of the penthouse suites up on the fifteenth floor.

“You’re late,” Chloe said. She didn’t even bother turning around.

“Yeah, yeah, I overslept,” Nino grumbled, maneuvering around a large spread of papers on the floor. He made it to the sun room and collapsed into a large and fluffy armchair. “Did I miss anything?”

“We ate all of Kagami’s cookies without you,” Adrien announced around a mouthful of said cookies.

“What, really?” Nino sat bolt upright. Wayzz emerged from Nino’s hat and flitted around his wearer’s head.

“No, not really. I saved some for both of you.” Alya came and sat down in the chair with Nino, forcing her boyfriend to move over. She handed him a plate piled with cookies and blondies. As Nino breathed a sigh of relief, Wayzz did a little celebratory spin in the air before landing on the plate.

“Thank you, Alya,” the Kwami smiled, before he began eating.

“You’re welcome, Wayzz.”

“Now that everyone’s here, we can actually begin,” Marinette said, cutting off the turtle’s response. “Because, y’know, we’re here to do more than just hangout.” She gave Alya and Nino a look. Alya winked back while Nino had the decency to look sheepish, before sprawling out across Alya’s lap. “So Chloe, I hand it over to you. Any updates?”

“Thanks, Maribug.” The blonde stood up at the head of the table. “To make it short, I’ve got nothing. No progress, at least, since last weekend. We’ve had the list of people who have the time, money, and schedule to be Hawkmoth for a while. Mayura’s been a little trickier to track down, but I am working on that. As bad as it is, the more they attack together, and really the more akuma attacks in general, the easier it is to track them down. I still haven’t gotten into the city camera network. I mean, it’s a long shot, but as far as I know, you can see akumas on film and tracking them all across the city would narrow that list down a ton. So, uh, yeah. That’s my update. Next?” Chloe sat back down. Kagami reached over and grabbed her hand to give a little squeeze.

“Cool. Thank you, Chloe. Alya, how’s the online scene? Anything going on?” Marinette turned to her best friend.

Alya stood up, prompting a whimpered “No” from Nino as his pillow left.

“Yes. Big time. Someone got a photo of Viperion and Chat Noir having a midnight picnic on the Eiffel Tower. Roses, candles, that whole aesthetic you two put together every time. They posted it on Wednesday and people want answers.”

There was a beat of silence, broken by the sound of Adrien’s head hitting the table.

“Can’t you take it down?” Luka asked, rubbing his boyfriend’s back. “I feel like that would be much easier than, well, any of your other options.” Alya shrugged awkwardly.

“As your friend and teammate, I want to. As a journalist running the largest and best superhero blog in the whole country, I can’t. It would raise too many questions. For the sake of keeping our identities well hidden, I need to not just keep the photo up, but react big. As far as everyone else is concerned, Bug and Chat were a thing this whole time. The photo is a big shock, and I need to treat it as such. So, Marinette, Adrien, Luka, can we coordinate that after this? I think an interview would probably be a good idea.”

Marinette and Luka nodded as Adrien grumbled “Ok” from his facedown position

“And Adrien! I appreciate that you play favorites with the Ladyblog, but you don’t need to turn down interviews with other people. Aurore is a very nice person, and her blog is actually pretty dang cool. She just happens to be a regular civilian and so can’t organize interviews with any of you whenever she wants to. So, as a general note for everyone, you can take interviews with other journalists. I’m not holding you to some kind of exclusive contract. Oh, and Gami? This applies to you too. Please be nice to other reporters. Please. People look up to you. Children admire you. Be a good role model and please stop threatening people who have cameras or mics.” Alya gave Kagami a mock glare. Kagami glared back, before sighing and shrugging.

“Fine. I will attempt to be less rude to those who have made it their mission in life to invade my privacy and personal space.”

“I’m willfully choosing to pretend you aren’t being sarcastic, so thank you. With that, it’s back to you, Marinette.”

“Thank you for that, Alya. Alright, next-” Marinette stopped suddenly. “Did any of you hear that?”

Adrien was just about to ask “hear what?” when there was a scream from the streets. As one, the seven miraculous wielders were up and moving out onto Chloe’s balcony, trying to determine where the scream had come from.

It didn’t take long to spot the source of the terror. Up near the Eiffel Tower, smoke filled the air as five explosions went off in quick succession. With a resounding crash that echoed off the Paris skyline, the Tower itself toppled to the ground.

“Well,” Marinette groaned. “Duty calls.” She quickly backed away from the edge of the balcony, out of sight of the street below. With a flip of her hair, Marinette whispered, “Tikki, spots on!”

The six other heroes mirrored the actions of their leader, and within seconds, they were leaping across the sky.

Damian spent Saturday morning glaring at Tim. Despite all prior evidence suggesting it was impossible, Tim had slept the entire flight over to France, as well as through most of the morning in Paris. Damian had slept on the plane, but decided not to sleep at the hotel, as much as his jet lag protested. If anything, that was why he wanted to stay awake. He was here for a month. The sooner he could get over the five hour time difference, the better. Tim was of the opposite mindset. In the five minutes of quasi-conscious conversation Damian extracted from him in the car over to the hotel, Tim explained that since this was a fake recon mission, he was going to be remaining on Gotham’s schedule. His rationale involved something to do with board meetings. Damian thought that was all a bunch of bullshit to excuse sleeping in until 5 pm on a Saturday.

As three twenty rolled around, Damian was suddenly very glad that Tim was still holed up and passed out in the hotel room. The explosions that shook the building could only mean one thing, and as skilled as Red Robin was, he had never fought an akuma before. Technically, Robin never had either, but he’d supported Team Miraculous more than a few times and had even been a part of Ladybug’s backup plan once.

Three minutes later, Robin was standing on the roof of the hotel. It wasn’t difficult to see the smoke rising from where the Eiffel Tower had stood only minutes ago. Unclipping his grappling hook from his belt, he began to pray that his angel would be there soon. He was good, one of the best in the world, but even gods were occasionally too much for him.

Oh well. He’d do what he can for now.

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #luka coffaine #Nino lahiffe #alya cesaire #chloé bourgeois #Kagami Tsurugi #daminette #adrien x luka #alya x nino #chloé x kagami #my fic #marinette x damian

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coffee-esque · 4 years

Text

q&a time!

tagged by @justanalto thanks for tagging me again

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? bold of you to assume i am brushing my hair nowadays

2. Name a food you never eat. cilantro because just no

3. Are you typically too cold or too warm? usually too cold? when i was younger i was always too warm but im old now asdfghjkl

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? working on a psych assignment and now im procrastinating lol

5. What is your favorite candy bar? good old twix

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? nope, not really interested

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? “fuck this shit” probably

8. What is your favorite ice cream? hmm cookie dough or green tea (matcha)

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? just water, kind of want to make myself some coffee though

10. Do you like your wallet? yeah? its functional

11. What was the last thing you ate? few pieces of a dark chocolate bar

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope.

13. The last sporting event you watched? i can’t even remember but i think it was sort of world ice skating event? if clips of it on youtube count

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? just traditional butter popcorn is good enough

15. Who is last person you sent a text message to? it was to a groupchat of friends from college

16. Ever go camping? yep, was fun when when i wasn’t addicted to wifi lmao

17. Do you take vitamins? nah

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? nope

19. Do you have a tan? i haven’t left the house in weeks so i think that answers the question

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? chinese food cause yeah that’s just me

21. Do you drink soda with a straw? not if it comes in a can and just in general i dont particularly like using straws

22. What color socks do you usually wear? grey socks?

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? ....maybe

24. What terrifies you? spiders, the idea of losing friends and family, failure etc... a lot of things

25. Look to your left, what do you see? a potted plant of some sort?

26. What chore do you hate? washing the dishes lol

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? not to stereotype australia but kangaroos, im sorryyyy

28. What’s your favorite soda? not really a soda person but ginger beer maybe?

29. Do you go into a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? i prefer to just go in, but i definitely spent a lot of nights hitting the drive-thru with friends

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? my mother i think

31. Favorite cut of beef? i have no idea

32. Last song you listened to? between by alextbh

33. Last book you read? it was letters to a young poet by rainer maria rilke, but im currently reading an ethnography called righteous dopefiend by phillipe bourgois

34. Favorite day of the week? friday but does that even matter anymore

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? nope

36. How do you like your coffee? usually just with milk, but i always get a latte at coffee shops

37. Favorite pair of shoes? this pair of brown doc martens i had but accidentally left in hk

38. The time you normally go to sleep? 2-3am

39. The time you normally get up? not til 10 haha

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunset

41. How many blankets on your bed? two

42. Describe your kitchen plates. white, large, some with ridged edges

43. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? SOJU PLEASE or whisky but alas, im usually drinking rum or vodka

44. Do you play cards? learned how to play poker literally two nights ago and now im a little obsessed which cant be good

45. What color is your car? not technically my car but silver

46. Can you change a tire? ummmm no....yikes, should learn

47. Your favorite province? can i count hk as a province lol

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had? i’ve only had one job, kind of recently lost it with the pandemic.. but i worked at a noodle cafe and it was pretty good

49. How did you get your biggest scar? lets not talk about that

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? wish i could say i made someone happy today....im trying

tagging: @floralbfs @motivationaltoast and anyone else who would like to do it

#tag game

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mycandylovefanatics · 5 years

Note

Hey! I recently found your blog, just wanna say your writing is giving me life! I saw requests are open and I just have to ask... how do you think Lysander, Hyun, and Castiel act when they’re high? Like after smoking weed lolololol If you don’t want to write this one I understand but if you do thanks in advance!

I’m absolutely dying right now lmaooo I’ve never even thought of this before this is going to be fun (definitely let me know if you guys wanna know the story of the two times I got a little too high for my own good lmaooooo)

Warning: marijuana is mentioned heavily in this, I will have it tagged so you can have it blocked but just in case I’m letting you know ahead of time!

Lysander

Ohhh man okay so the question is, how is Lysander getting high in the first place? I definitely don’t see him willingly being like “Oh yes, pass the blunt please.” Don’t see him as a smoker at all. Maybe an edible that he eats unknowingly? Let’s say someone brought edibles to a small get together, and everyone knows except for him because he shows up just a bit late and everyone forgets to mention it to him lol. I’m gonna just go ahead and say it was a cookie edible. He eats some of it, but thinks it tastes really weird so he only eats about half before throwing the other half away (what a WASTE Lysander). He doesn’t mean to be rude about it but he’s not going to eat something if he doesn’t like it lol. Nothing against the person that made it, it could just be him personally considering everyone else seems to be enjoying it.

Fast forward about an hour. Lysander is quite a tall dude and if I remember correctly, he’s on the heavier side when it comes to all the boys. So you really gotta give it a good hour or so to kick in for him. He’s sitting down enjoying himself, talking and laughing. Gosh, everyone is so funny tonight? He’s really having a better time than usual. You’re also there with everyone. The topic is: bad jokes. You’re up next, and you crack a really corny one. “What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?”

“What?”

“A receding hare line!”

And Lysander literally just can NOT stop laughing. And he’s slowly becoming aware of the fact that something isn’t right but right now all he can do is laugh and laugh and laugh. People are actually getting concerned because he’s laughing so loudly and he rarely ever does that? And then someone realizes oh shit you ate a cookie didn’t you lololol Honestly you might have to watch him for the night because if you aren’t careful he might start freaking out because he doesn’t know what’s happening so PLEASE explain it to him. “Lysander you’re going to be okay, you just accidentally ate an edible but it’s fine. You didn’t eat the whole thing and I’m here for you if you need me, okay?” And he’s just like oh god someone help me. He’s better off just lying down for the rest of the night. Give him some water, some nice tunes to listen to through a pair of ear buds and he’ll be fine. You’ll occasionally glance over to see him giggling randomly throughout the night and trying but failing to sing on key to the songs playing Ends up falling asleep lmaoooo

Hyun

Hyun, Hyun, hyun…. poooooor poor Hyun xD He is also the type of person to not willingly smoke something. He’ll have a few drinks here and there, but smoking? No thanks. So his situation is the exact same as Lysander’s, accidentally eating an edible. He didn't show up late and heard the announcement, but he was sure they said the BROWNIES were edibles, not the cookies. So, he takes one, eats it. He also thinks it tastes kind of weird. Not bad, just a really peculiar flavor. BUT Hyun doesn’t want to be rude to whoever made the cookie so he eats the entire thing… the entire thing…. oh god.

I feel like while Hyun is tall, he’s also a bit smaller in weight so the cookie probably only takes about 45 minutes to take effect. He’s standing with a group of his friends, his eyes focus on you as you talk. You’re telling everyone a story from back when you were a teen and rabbits got loose within the school. He’s listening, but then he realizes: what are you talking about?? Why does everything coming out of your mouth make absolutely no sense? And also why can’t he stop squinting so much? Also why can’t HE FEEL HIS JAW?

Hyun is definitely the one you’ll have to keep an active eye on throughout the night because unlike Lysander, this boy will actually start to freak out. He can’t focus on anything clearly, he feels like everything is moving and slow motion and if he doesn’t sit down right now he’s going to pass out lmao. Give him some water and just sit with him for a bit. Talk to him to make sure he knows he’s not in any danger, and just let him cuddle you until he calms down a bit. He’ll be okay, the poor baby has just never experienced anything like that in his life hahaha. After that he’s just super chill and you’d almost think he’s tired but nah he’s just chillin! Leave him be, he’ll be okay. Definitely gets really bad cotton mouth though so make sure to give him lots of water, and keep it in a closed bottle or else he’ll just keep spilling it everywhere.

Castiel

Okay so Castiel is probably the most likely out of the three to smoke on his own accord. But even then I feel like he’d have to really be in the mood for something like that, he doesn’t just get high on a regular basis or anything. Especially not around a bunch of people so this get together is definitely something small with a close knit group of friends. Maybe after a study session with the gang, someone offers it up and he’s like ehhh why not? He doesn’t get himself insanely high like the other two because he actually knows what he’s doing and how to pace himself, unlike the other two who had no clue what was happening lol. More of a blunt guy than an edible so this works out a little better too. But if he has an option he’d definitely prefer a dab pen, so he can just hit it once or twice and give himself a nice relaxed high. He knows when he’s getting a little buzzed too because he starts to feel lighter. You don’t need to watch him because he’s got himself covered lol. He’s a lot more friendly when he’s high too! Not super nice like Hyun or anything, but he jokes around more, laughs a bit more at jokes, and if you keep eye contact with him for too long he’ll burst out in laughter like “Pffffft…. stop staring at me creep.” And give you his little side smirk.

Oh yeah you thought I forgot about one of the main side effects? The boy has MAD munchies xD like, he’s just guzzling an entire bag of chips, or eating some random left over Chinese food he found in the fridge, not even bothering to warm it up. Any food item in his line of sight is getting consumed. He’s that high person that makes weird ass combinations too, like pickles on top of pizza, or peanut butter and potato chips. If he’s at home while high he might even make himself a full ass three course meal, not even caring about whether or not any of this is healthy for him. He refuses to go out and get fast food though because last time he did that he ended up spending 35 dollar son McDonalds and the reality didn’t even hit him until the next day. He’s not broke but he’s not rich either lmao.

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imagineclaireandjamie · 5 years

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I have been so touched by your guys’ reaction to this story. These two are a departure from my usual take on Jamie and Claire, but I love them all the same. Thanks for sticking with me and for sharing your love of them. 👑💜

small bit of ;nsfw beneath the cut

Her Royal Highness (H.R.H.) Part XVI: Market

Claire hopped from foot to foot at the edge of a murky puddle as Jamie attempted to strong arm the shed door into sliding open. His abashed declaration that he did not have an umbrella, bent at the waist in the front hall closet, led them to become creators together. On the front porch, they tented a blanket over their heads before darting across the front lawn to the shed. It had been a completely ineffectual attempt to stay dry. Laughing, he had fixed the blanket in her small fists before braving the rain to fight the door. It protested viciously before finally relenting with a groan. Giving him a firm pat on the bottom, Claire slipped into the shed and groped along the wall for a light switch. When she found it, the room sizzled to life beneath a yellow glow, revealing a seafoam green pickup with a chrome grill.

“It’s no’ much,” Jamie opined, rising to the door’s stubbornness with his own and pushing it the rest of the way open. “Pre-war, a bit rusty, but dependable. It should have a full tank and working heat. Ye’d no’ thank me for a motorcycle ride in this weather.”

“It’s perfect.”

He made a responsive Scottish noise of disbelief, followed her gaze to his father’s truck, and dried his hands on his trousers.

“I mean it. It’s perfect.”

She ran a finger along the hood of the pickup, trying to remember the last time she had been alone in a car with a man.

Never.

Drivers. Staff. Never even with Lamb or her father.

The answer was that the Queen had never been alone in a car with a man.

And quite suddenly all she could think of was being Claire alone with Jamie. In another life, her real life, there was always someone else there. Breathing and occupying her space. Someone waiting to dote on the Queen. To select a wardrobe and costume her for events in gowns or well-tailored skirt suits. To whisper the names of politicians in her ear as she feigned a detached recognition of parades unremarkable faces. To select the courses of her meals for her, to serve them on historied porcelain and in cut crystal.

She wanted to tell Fraser that it had been an entire weekend of firsts, but the notion seemed soppy and overly sentimental. So she kept it tucked away in her mind’s file folder, where she was going to keep the memories of this weekend.

The first morning waking up to his eyes studying her, hand hovering over her cheek. Realizing what his first arousal of the day looked like. (Hazy blue, pouting lips, sluggish fingers.) The first shower with a man, slippery hands and soft noises becoming heavy in billows of steam. (His arms around her. The fact that he did not bother to ask if she needed the water hotter, just knowing and turning the hot tap full on.) The first weekend afternoon with a lover –– no umbrella, pouring rain, a pickup truck, the hastily constructed grocery list of two people who rarely were called upon to make their own meals. Though chilled to the bone by the rain, the soft, warm domesticity of a weekend in a kitchen had her floating. (The negotiation of a pair over what was for breakfast, the touch on a lower back when passing utensils from a drawer to a hand.)

Though Claire lived a life defined by the constancy of others’ presence, this was the first stretch of days through which she had not felt lonely in a terribly long time.

Rather than divulging all of these firsts, she commented instead that he looked to be soaked to the bone. He smirked, commenting that he was in good company.

He opened the door for her, gave an exaggerated bow, and earned one of the laughs that sounded so sweet to him. The ones that overwhelmed her small frame –– lifted her shoulders, tipped her head, made her touch her belly as though there were something there to contain, fighting for release. The laugh made her eyes go iridescent –– the color of approaching autumn and a dusky moment of silence before a thunderstorm, the burnt leaves escaping a bonfire to crawl over velvety night to meet sky.

He rounded the front of the pickup, slipped into the driver’s seat, and let the keys drop into his palm from their hiding spot in the sun visor. With a silent prayer on his moving lips and a turn of the key, the truck roared to life.

“Will everyone in town know who you are?” she asked quietly, suddenly a little self conscious despite her bravado in declaring her ordinariness the night before. She squeezed the rainwater from her dress, giving him an apologetic smile as it dribbled onto the floorboard. “I mean, if they know you, they’ll know I’m not your wife. Where you work.”

“No.” His voice was firm, sure, but she asked again. Are you sure? I mean, really sure? Angling his body, he looked at her, really studied her. She was nervous. It glowed through her usual formality. Became apparent in cider, whisky, and firelight. She was stanzas of poetry begging to be written in his hand. “I’ve no’ been to this town since I was a lad. I was a tall, skinny thing wi’ spots enough to make a firehouse dog jealous.”

“I am having great trouble picturing that.”

“Believe it,” he hummed as he put a hand on her knee, rubbed a finger across the small, silver scar that he had identified there earlier that morning. (“Three stitches. Breaking out of the girls’ dormitories after curfew with a few other girls. I was fifteen. I thought Lamb would kill me, but he laughed.”) She shivered. “Do ye want to go back inside?”

“No, I––”

“––to warm up? I can go to the market––”

––she shook her head, licked her lips––

“––just pop in quick for a few things. Come back. It’s twenty minutes there, another twenty back.”

Though her dress had become a plaster cast over her thighs and the peaks of her breasts, he had gravely misinterpreted the shiver. It was his familiarity that made her tremble, not nervousness. It was the sensation that they were meant to be together.

“Turn the vents on full blast.” She shook her head again, this time almost violently. “I’ll be better than fine.”

Unconvinced, he shrugged, turned up the heat, and pulled out of the shed.

In the twenty minute ride to town, Claire learned a lot about Fraser. He could not sing, hum, nor whistle. He could not find the rhythm in a song or carry a tune in a bucket. When he tried to wink at her, it was such a garish contortion of his usually beautiful features that she collapsed backwards into the seat in a fit of giggles. The laughter made the very core of her body ache. He set his jaw every time that he slowed to a rolling stop, carefully looked both ways, and held his breath before he again accelerated. He draped an arm across the seat behind her as he backed into a parking spot as he finished off a story about the family dog giving birth behind the Christmas tree one year.

In the overbright, lightly populated market, Jamie learned that common things awed the Queen of England. So common, that Jamie imagined that shopping with her was a lot like what it would be like to shop with a readily impressed child.

Tinned peaches. (“My father loved them with cottage cheese; he ate them for dessert, and I haven’t had them in years,” she explained as she pulled three cans off of a shelf in her small hands, spilling them into the trolley.) Icebox cookies speckled with candied cherries and nuts. (“I could eat a thousand,” she declared with a guilty look and an easy tilt of her head.) A butcher’s case stuffed with various cuts of meat, the front lined with vibrant green paper grass and the trays sitting on lacy paper doilies. (Her fingers pressed against the glass as she turned to look at Jamie over her shoulder, face cracked apart in a smile. “A pork chop supper? It’s all I know how to cook that’s at all special. It was La-” she paused, offering a smile at the butcher who was taking a bit too much of an interest in his delighted patron. “It was my uncle’s favorite.”)

She became wistful as they meandered down an aisle of baking supplies. “My mum had the best hand at baking,” she declared, voice pitched low. He pushed the trolley, bent forward at the waist, resting his weight on the handle and watching her.

“Mine, too. Hated it, but she was the best.”

Her fingers traced the front of heavy bags of sugar and flour, the scarf in her ponytail swishing with each step. “I was too young to remember much of it. But cakes and biscuits, fudge at the holidays. We had our own house… still Crown property, but not… well, not anything like....”

She faded away. The quiet, rubbery click of her stacked heels stopped, and her wandering fingers suspended just over a can of sweetened condensed milk.

He took another step, pushed the cart out ahead of her, surveyed the aisle.

Alone.

“Jamie, I do not know what to say. I am afraid that I am a little sentimental for some reason. I have not been in a market in years. I remember my mum boiling cans of this.” She studied the label, brows furrowed. “It sort of turns to a caramel.”

He closed the distance, took a can from the shelf. “Let’s give it a try.”

This time, she was the one to survey the aisle, then went to her tiptoes and placed the most delicate of kisses on his lips. “You aren’t the least bit worried that I’ll burn down your cabin?”

Grimacing in mock confusion, he shook his head. “No. Ye’re goin’ to do this over a campfire in the back. Really roughing it. I willna let ye near the stove after the mess ye made of those sausages yesterday.”

Laughing, she kissed him again. When they got home, something inside Jamie roared to life and easily became wild for her. After braving the rain from the shed back to the cabin, her dress had become a second skin. It made her into a statue. An exceptional Bernini, the sensual weight of her limbs barely contained by fabric draped and carved of marble. The curls that had been so warm and dry in his bed and beneath his fingers only hours earlier were cemented against her cheeks, coiling around her throat, charting a perfect map for his mouth to follow. With the bags tipped over, spilling contents onto the floor, he came up behind her and drew her backwards, followed that map, went off course, and poured into her all of the need that dwelled inside of him.

They made love there in the entryway, her body molding over the back of the couch and his hand on her spine. He wrapped her in a flannel shirt after, kissed the tip of her nose. In the late afternoon, she made her pork chops, boiled potatoes, and a green salad as he poured them each a drink. Afterwards, they had fallen back into bed together. Her tongue was earthy with sage and whisky, her lips swollen and her mouth emitting tender sounds. He tasted her beneath the hem of the flannel, her thighs clamped around his ears. She returned the favor with a gusto that made him gnaw a bite mark over his knuckle.

They talked for hours until the slow rise and fall of his eyelids fell, throwing his words into a slowed stupor that eventually stopped.

The rain did not abate overnight.

Claire listened to the landing of every drop, her touch molded to muscle (chest, bicep) and his face tucked close to the curve of her throat.

She did not sleep.

In the earliest part of morning, he woke slowly, eyes still sleepy.

“Hi there,” she whispered, pushing a curl back from his forehead. Bees buzzed in her mind. A thousand (a million) thoughts came to life, knocking against the edges of the hive. With an exhaled “hmmmmm” deep from his belly, his eyelids drifted closed again. “Are you going back to sleep?”

“I’ll no’ ever sleep again now that I ken ye’re awake,” he slurred into the pillow.

His breathing slowed and she gave him a gentle jab in the ribs. “Sleepy little liar.”

“I’m just resting my eyes, Sassenach” he mumbled, cracking one eye and looking up and down her thin form. “Did ye have something in mind? To keep me awake?”

“Once more,” Claire whispered, bringing a knee over his hips and settling against him. “Before we go.”

Once more. Before we go.

He hadn’t the heart to tell her that he had planned on having her at least twice before they packed up, but the surprise of waking to her wanting him was like Christmas morning and his birthday all at once.

The curtain of her curls that fell forward from her top of her head painted a shadow across her face in the waning moonlight. Tightness in his belly made him shift just slightly beneath the slight weight of her. The naked parts of her radiated wet heat through the thin cotton of his briefs. He reached for the buttons on the flannel shirt (he would pack it and bring it home; he would not wash it, it smelled like her now), but she shook her head and pushed away his fingers. She made a meal of undressing –– a slow, seductive disrobing. The last button undone, the fabric fell open and exposed nothing more than the midline of her torso.

A roving hand slipped into the back of his shirt to find her lower back, urging her forward.

“I need you inside of me.”

He grunted quietly in response as she slipped the band of his briefs over his hips, her fingers struggling between the sheets and his bottom to free him completely.

“Insatiable, are ye, lass?” Sleepiness made his voice syrupy and his accent thick, but his eyes. Those glowed blue in the dark, awake and sparkling as though somehow lit from within. She smiled, through the uncomfortable thought that had roused her (going home) and led her to straddle him (not having him there like this), still dwelled at the front of her mind.

“I am. Insatiable.” For you. For this. For us.

“I can see right into yer mind, Claire.” A single hand on the center of his chest as she rolled her hips along the length of him, her throat creaky as she swallowed.

‘Can you?’ she thought. ‘Everything changes at first light. Sunday morning. This life in this cabin isn’t real.’

He guided her body so he could feel her (exquisite, slick, and soft; clearly having been ready long before he woke), and found the ache of his horrible yearning morph into a painful need.

“Is that so?”

“Aye,” he said evenly, eyes focused on hers as he surged into her. She worried what he could see on her face as they joined and she bowed herself forward, burying her face where his shoulder met his throat. On top like this, she was almost too full with him, yet needed more. Her hesitancy made his hips lift, pressing them even closer.

“Christ,” she hissed as she ground back down over him, wondering if he could see the words at the back of her mouth or if he saw only images flashing across her brain.

All of their waiting.

Their nights with Brimstone and Donas. Their thinly-veiled innuendos dropped easily for the other to pick up from horseback. The separations at the end of the night that ached, long glances as steady fingers readied the horses for a night of rest, and incidental touches that gathered a multitude of meanings like arms full of wildflowers.

“Okay?” he asked, one hand on her waist and another reaching for her cheek when she pulled back up, straight, and started to move.

She relocated his hand from her face to her breast, and moved against him slowly. “Perfect.”

All of their hesitancy.

The day he stood before her in the stables and told her in no uncertain terms that he did not know if he could wait for her. When he laid bare his conclusion that what they were doing was wrong as long as she had promised herself to another man. For her part, unfaithfulness to another seemed to be only a petty crime then. To be unfaithful to another, just so she could know Fraser in all that he was. To wear an affair like a second skin for a summer (the season that she said they could use to sate their hunger for one another before she married), and then to wear it from her wedding day onwards forevermore as a crown of thorns.

Her name fell from his lips, pleas to the God on whose name she was Queen, and hisses of profanity followed.

(Claire. Oh God. Oh fuck.)

She fell forward again. This time into his mouth, breasts crushing against his chest as she kissed him. He rolled them, taking her wrists and pinning them above her head as he took from her the sensations she had withheld. Crying out beneath him (last name first, first name last –– Fraser, then Jamie), she let her hands go slack, cinched her eyes shut. She had thought very little of what would happen if she had him without an expiration date occasioned by a marriage. He released her wrists, kissed her, tucked a hand between their bodies, and slowed his hips as she finished.

Pulsing. Gasping. Weeping. Finally.

Her fingers found his face, held it as his universe burst moments later.

Spent, he laid heavy over her, marveling that he could feel her fingertips travel the length of his spine. Feeling remained there when he had convinced himself long before that the mangled, puckered flesh was beyond sensation. Goosebumps broke out along his forearms and he nuzzled his face closer to her.

“What are you thinking?” she asked eventually before placing a single kiss in the space between his clavicles.

“That ye’re no’ ever so beautiful than ye are when ye’ve been loved.” She felt so small against his chest, his hand cupping a single buttock. “Tell me what is in that curly heid of yers. I ken it’s sittin’ somewhere far, far from here.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, adjusting. “I said on Friday that I did not want this to end. Now…”

When her voice trailed away and her face dipped, he took her gently by the chin. He finished for her. “Now it is.”

“Exactly.”

She could have washed her face in a new round of tears at the way that his lips quirked into a half-smile. “Och, weel, we’ll be back.”

“But until then… how?”

Loving him seemed like a felony. Subjecting him to her life. The flash bulbs. The adulteration of this place, the quietness of the cabin and the sleepiness of the town that they had visited. The expectations that would be foisted upon him. She had little doubt that he would take it all for her. That he did love her, but the fact that this weekend was not an infinity rattled her.

He swiped away the line of tears accumulating at her lower lashline. “Ye’re thinking too far ahead, Claire. Wondering if this can work. How it can work.”

She just hummed in response, closing her eyes. “Sassenach. What does it mean?”

At this, he snorted, kissed the tip of her nose. “An English person. An outlander.”

Seemed right to her.

#;mod kate #HRH #Her Royal Highness AU #jamie x claire #Royal AU #queue it like it's hot

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i-eat-bread-and-cry-on-the-floor · 4 years

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1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? NO.

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Nope.

3. Have you taken someones virginity? No.

4. Is trust a big issue for you? yEp

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? At school, yes.

6. What are you excited for? Panther Cup! (on the last day before winter break, my school does a competitive field day called the Panther Cup. Go team yellow! :D) And going to NY during winter break.

7. What happened tonight? I pretended to study for my physics exam.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? No, as long as they’re safe.

9. Is confidence cute? Hell yeah, unless it’s arrogance.

10. What is the last beverage you had? Starbucks Thingy (idk how to spell)

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Trust no one.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Yee.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Hopefully have a sleepover because that’s the first day of winter break!

14. What are you going to spend money on next? Can’t spend what I don’t have \_( ; . ; )_/

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? No.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Yeah.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? rgeyuwiksjfh no.

18. The last time you felt broken? Yes.

19. Have you had sex today? No, I haven’t had sex ever.

20. Are you starting to realize anything? Mhm, I should have studied a lot more.

21. Are you in a good mood? Not in a bad mood so :)

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? YES! I’ve done it before but the water was pretty foggy.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Yep! Blue eye gang wya?

24. What do you want right this second? Watch Nerve / Learn the choreography to Carrying the Banner / Go on my roof and look at the sky / Sleep.

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another person? Do whatever you want, m8! I don’t control what you do, you can make your own choices.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Yep, boring old blonde.

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Nope.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Yesterday I hung out with my friend Sam and he accidentally sang the lyric (of Santa Fe from Newsies) “Santa Fe, *where I stay*” instead of “my old friend” bc he didn’t know it and I- HHHHHH I’m having a nice conversation with my friend now and they make me so happy:))

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Barack Obama.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? And a third! Unless you did like genocide or something.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Not at all!

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Mhm.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? I love soda!

34. Listening to? My broken fan that keeps making funny sounds.

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Sometimes, when required.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Kinda? My first (and second and third) kisses were all from truth or dare games so I really haven’t had an actual first kiss? But yeah, shoutout to my three best friends...

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Bleh, no.

38. Who did you last call? My friend who did not answer.

39. Who was the last person you danced with? Myself to “In The Heights” yesterday.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? I don’t turn down dares.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Uhhh, November?

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? My dad gave me a hug before he went to see a football game :)

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Not just a crush. My friends, best friends, parents, teachers, classmates, family, I’m an embarrassment.

44. Do you tan in the nude? I don’t do anything in the nude besides shower and that’s a given.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? No cause it was a Truth or Dare game. To me, those don’t mean anything.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? I mean I said goodbye when I realized I was too tired to stay up anymore so kinda?

47. Who was the last person to call you? My mate, Cait, yesterday while I made dinosaur oatmeal :)

48. Do you sing in the shower? Is that even a question? I HAVE FULL ON CONCERTS!!

49. Do you dance in the car? Not really, but I sing a LOT.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yep! At camp.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? School pics, September.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? MUSICALS ARE FREAKING GREAT!!

53. Is Christmas stressful? Yeah kinda.

54. Ever eat a pierogi? Ngl, had to look up what it was and no.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Apple!

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Broadway performer and still do but more realistically, a performer at Universal Studios or Disney.

57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes!

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes! It’s so strange but cool.

59. Take a vitamin daily? Melatonin when I can’t fall asleep but luckily I don’t need it much anymore!

60. Wear slippers? Nope. :/ Though I’d love to!

61. Wear a bath robe? No, but also would love to.

62. What do you wear to bed? Light sweatpants and a T-shirt

63. First concert? The fresh beat band. It started raining but they just kept singing so-

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? TTTTTTARGETTT

65. Nike or Adidas? flip flops

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos!

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? never had either

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Haven’t really listened to her recent stuff but all her old music slaps.

69. Ever take dance lessons? YES! Tap, Hip-Hop, and currently ballet.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? ??? I don’t care??? They can do whatever they want???

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yes!

72. Ever won a spelling bee? Never got in one!

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Can’t remember but probably.

74. What is your favorite book? Right now? I’m not big on reading tbh.

75. Do you study better with or without music? Bold of you to assume I study. I usually like silence but I love music for anything else.

76. Regularly burn incense? I never have.

77. Ever been in love? Anyone who’s heard me speak one word of Ben Cook knows the answer is yes. (He’s so talented!!!)

78. Who would you like to see in concert? Anything broadway really.

79. What was the last concert you saw? I forget XD

80. Hot tea or cold tea? Hot.

81. Tea or coffee? Tea! I’m a singer XD

82. Favorite type of cookie? Anything homemade at 3am.

83. Can you swim well? I can swim

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Not for long

85. Are you patient? Sometimes.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? I’d like to play one (1) soundtrack manned by ME and ME only. (linked)

87. Ever won a contest? A basket of books by raffle in the first grade.

88. Ever have plastic surgery? No.

89. Which are better black or green olives? Black.

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Do whatever you want.

91. Best room for a fireplace? On the top floor balcony in winter with hot cocoa/tea and a light snow.

92. Do you want to get married? Fucking NO.

#questions!#get to know me

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tunafishprincess · 5 years

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The Roads We Take Chapter 2

art by @brothebro, writing by @tunafishprincess

First Chapter

She is twenty-six when they move into their new home.

Well, perhaps not home. Not yet.

The shingles are haphazardly thrown around the uncut grass in clumps, whilst the door barely hangs on its hinges. The inside is worse. Dust blankets the living room and kitchen. Even the closed off bedroom (only one bed, she notes), has dust bunnies scattered amongst the mess of clothes and blankets someone left behind.

And left behind they did. Whoever the original owners are, they left most of their valuables. Claire knows why, or at least, she thinks so. Most of the houses, especially this close to Arcadia, are abandoned. Another symbol of her past deeds.

But it would make due. It has to.

They have nowhere else to go.

She suspects Toby pulled several strings to get them such a place. Most humans these days live in a post-war era of poverty and disease, all brought upon by the witch queen herself. Morgana is dead, but her story will live on for centuries, if not millennia. Trolls and humans would not soon forget such a woman, nor will they forget the face she wore.

The first month of cleaning and tidying up the place are a godsend. Every day she awoke to the sound of Jim working on the roof and every night she knocked out, bone-tired from cleaning and fixing up the little cottage. When they finish up the major repairs, she starts her own little garden. Nothing like her father’s, but it is a start.

It is soothing in the beginning. No thoughts, just work. Her and Jim largely ignore each other outside of pleasantries and small talk. She is fine. Everything is fine.

Until it isn’t.

Toby and Darci visited when they could but for the most part it is only her and Jim here, no neighbors for a hundred miles around. She looks forward to them, desperately so, because what else did she have to look forward to these days?

The snippets of information help feed her imagination of the world around them. Her lack of internet made any outside news exciting, even the most dull kind. What she would give to have a newspaper or magazine subscription. But alas.

The Nuñez household came every few months, but even that wasn’t enough. Her family has their own lives, she knows, what, with Enrique’s schooling, her mother’s work—it hurts, but she understands. Even though it feels like it was just yesterday she was a teenager, outwardly she is an adult. Ten years is a long time. They have moved on, changed and grown without her presence.

Enrique sends her letters at least.

Jim is…She isn’t sure what their relationship is these days. One moment they are on the couch together and the next he’s somewhere else, leaving her for hours, sometimes days at a time.

The tension could only go on for so long. Claire is bored. Reading is nice, but it doesn’t fill the void within her.

The days turn to weeks turn to months and she is starving for something, anything.

An itch she cannot scratch, no matter how much work she does around the house or in the garden. It is as though there is a hole inside her chest, expanding with every breath.

Emptiness. Morgana hollowed her out, leaving her scrambling for purchase in this strange new world of familiar and not. No one could ever understand. Not really. She watched every atrocity the sorceress committed, like a figure behind a thick wall of glass. No matter how hard she screamed, no one could hear her.

Ten years is a lot to comb through. She knows she’s screwed up, mentally, emotionally, physically—take your pick. Morgana twisted her soul, shifted her body to accommodate the creature she originally was.

The creature Claire now is.

Humans didn’t levitate in their sleep.

Humans didn’t break glass without touching it.

The magic ebbs and flows, changing at the slightest change in her mood. No wonder Toby put her here. Society is better without her causing anymore havoc than she already does.

Still, the tightness within her builds.

She misses human contact—any contact. Stranded in the woods without much entertainment begins to suffocate her. Unlike the hospital she has nothing to distract her from her thoughts. Jim tries to help, but he isn’t much better. The sweet boy she remembers is a man now, strange and alluring; yet no matter what she does, he is always out of her reach.

It all comes to ahead one night, when Jim comes home much later than normal. She waits at the door for him to return, a bundle of emotions ready to erupt.

And how could they not? Look at me, she thinks. What a dutiful little wife she has become. Her sixteen-year-old self would be horrified at what she is now. No job, no education past tenth grade, no social life—it is a heavy blow to her self-esteem. All her dreams are dashed now, all because she didn’t seek help.

Dios mio, if only she sought out her friends before this entire mess. Even now she can recall the confusion, of how she kept forgetting things, of the endless cold that ate at her being. The cracks that wouldn’t go away. So many signs. And she was too stubborn to see them.

The door creaked open. Jim’s head lowered beneath the frame, horns lightly scrapping the top.

Her breath hitches. It is not so much the size that surprises her, but the power behind it. The thin beanpole boy that barely topped five and a half feet now towers over her, his entire body corded muscle, with impossibly large shoulders that tapered into a trim waist. No, trim didn’t cut it. Even with his shirt on she could see the outline of his abs and chest.

Could probably bounce a quarter of it, she reflects, cheeks growing rosy at the thought.

No. Almost immediately she reins herself in. Her fists clench. She is supposed to be angry. Jim is late. No, more than late, he was missing.

She knows he can sense her in the darkness, if not outright see her. The red of his eyes glow ominously. The scent of pennies is heavy in the room. As he heads for the kitchen, Claire moves in front of him.

“Jim, wait.” She adds, “Please.”

He turns his head slightly, ears lowering. “Can this wait till morning, Claire?”

Absolutely not. By then he would have an excuse and they would be back where they started, skirting around each other like always. Claire pressed on, “Where were you?”

“Work.”

Claire’s lips tug downward. Work. She hates his work. She may be trapped here but he is trapped out there, forced to do the very things Morgana used to impose upon him. He is the government’s dog, all because of her.

“You could have told me,” she says, voice level. They were a team, right?

“There wasn’t enough time.”

“There’s never enough time, is there?” She sighs, leaning against the wall. She rubs her temples, trying to starve off the headache forming. It is one of the symptoms of her magic. As if she needs even more things wrong with her.

His shoulders raise. “What?”

She throws up her hands. “Every time. You disappear without ever telling me anything. I have to get the information from Toby, and even he’s tight lipped about it because of some stupid “security clearance”. Can’t you at least have the courtesy to leave me a message? Even a text would do.”

With every word that passed her lips the frustration builds. They are supposed to be together but if anything they are further apart than ever before.

“Claire—” He whispers.

Magic crackles around her; the furniture around her shakes.

She knows she’s overreacting. Nevertheless, she cannot stop the frustration growing within her. These last few months have left her in a constant state of unease. It is now or never.

“No, I’m not finished,” she snaps. “You can’t keep doing this.”

His eyes flicker away from her steady gaze. He looks extraordinarily uncomfortable, like a child caught with a hand in the cookie jar. “Doing what?”

She groans, rubbing her forehead. Is he serious right now? “Vanishing without a trace. What if something happened here? How would I ever get a hold of you? What if something happened to you?”

“The government has security detail on the grounds,” he answers, scratching the scruff at the base of his neck. “Besides, if something did happen to me, you would be cared for.”

“Cared for?” She bites out. What is she, some sort of puppy? “Are you for real?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Everything!” She yells, louder than she wants to, but the bubble within her has burst. Her hands grow hot in response.

Instantly, a picture frame dislodges from the wall. Claire startles then turns her head at the sound. It is a move that costs her.

When she turns back, the door is open.

Her boyfriend is gone once more.

“Mother—” She bites down the rest of the curse.

Cold grips her chest, spreading out to her extremities. Her teeth chatter. The glass windows sing, alerting her of how bad it has gotten.

Damn it. Every time. Every time she accidentally uses her powers he disappears.

Finally, the window behind her shattered. Shuddering, she begins to do the breathing exercises Darci taught her. Count to ten: one, two, three, four, five…

It takes her longer than she would like to admit.

Still, she does it. The emotions are balled up tightly inside, the freezing chill in her blood warming into an uneasy coolness.

Part of her knows this is her fault. She is to blame for Jim’s reaction.

But another part of her disagrees. Didn’t he say he would stay with her always?

What she wouldn’t give for a break from all of this. This stupid reality where she hurt everyone and everything. Is this how it is going to be for the rest of her life?

Is this her destiny?

God. She hopes not. That is almost as bad as the ten years with Morgana. Having no one to talk to and the only one that does fears her using magic.

Tired hands make quick work of the mess. It gets her mind off the inevitable, though not for long.

An hour later, he returns. This time, Claire doesn’t give him the luxury of an excuse. She bores into him, finger pressing into his broad chest. Her other hand tugs on the braid she made for him this morning. It is almost comical, her, small and fragile and him, large and indestructible.

“You’re a coward,” she remarks coldly. “You can’t talk about it so you just ignore the problem.”

“Claire,” he says, still not looking at her. “Stop.”

“No, I’m not going to stop. You can’t keep pushing me away.” She drags him over across the room, his mane a makeshift leash. He complies, albeit reluctantly.

It is childish, yes, but nothing else appears to get to him.

“I’m not pushing you away,” he reaches out, tucking a stray bang behind her ear. Part of her softens, before remembering the prior conversation. She swats the hand away. “I’m keeping you safe.”

“Bullshit. Keeping me safe? You’re running away,” she accuses. To add salt to the wound, she adds, “No wonder Morgana won.”

Her eyes widen.

It is the wrong insult.

She regrets the words the moment they leave her mouth.

The man wearing Jim’s face steels. Claire drops the braid. The golden pupils, normally rounded, slits, more animal than human.

His hunched back straightens. The muscles in his shoulders stretch against the confines of his shirt.

The Morgana issue is always a sore one between them (and probably will be for a long time). A rush of shame brushes against her heart. Nevertheless, she faces him head on.

She knows she should be afraid. This is someone who fought for her, killed for her, held her—warmth pools between her legs. It is involuntary.

Now, Claire theoretically remembers how and what they did together, but the actual is far different than what she saw through Morgana’s eyes. Her eyes fall to his chest, which appears to be expanding as he stretches out to his full size.

Holy moly he’s big, she realizes.

“What did you say?” He asks, edging her closer to the wall.

Bravery (or foolhardiness, it is hard to tell) grips her. She crosses her arms. “You heard me.”

He leans closer. “You don’t know anything.”

Claire can’t help her cheeks from burning. Did he seriously just say that? Anger flares up once more. She gestures her forefinger at his face. “I was there. I know about everything, Jim. Morgana was me, remember? I remember how she tricked you into drinking that potion. I remember the bathing room. I remember the time you tried to kill her—”

Her words get caught in her throat. Jim growls, his mouth close to her neck. She can feel his breath against her chest, hot and heavy.

“Then you remember how dangerous I am too,” he whispers, voice rumbling. “I am a monster, Claire. You don’t want to be around me…Not when I’m like this.”

She reaches out. “No, you’re not.”

Bad move. Her back smacked against the wall. She gasps. His arms lock her in, strong and unyielding, while his leg runs up against her—

Her chest tightens.

That isn’t his leg.

The heat within her builds. She is terrified and sad and angry and aroused and every other possible emotion. The scent of magic grows thick in the air. Her magic. Jim’s ears twitch in response. The faded marks on his face don’t glow, not like before, but the etchings appear deeper, darker, as if in response to Jim’s mood.

“I could break you. Here and now. Do you understand that?” He asks in a deep voice.

Her breath catches as his hand snaked around, grasping her from behind and lifting her up. His entire palm encompasses her backside.

He draws close, inches from her face. His pupils grow large, nostrils flaring. A soft rumble erupts from his throat. “This isn’t a game. I’m trying to keep you safe.”

She licks her lips. This is a dangerous situation.

But this is the most alive she’s felt in months too.

Finally, she resolves to end it.

“You’re not.” She grasps his shirt. “I need you, Jim. Please.”

The vibration in his chest grows louder. He lowers her to the floor once more (she almost feels a tad disappointed by that).

She can read the swirl of emotions on his face, from the lowering of his ears to his hitched shoulders. A soft smile emerges on her lips; he’s embarrassed.

Despite the changes, Jim is still there. Just as broken as she is.

And that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? Two broken people, looking for the other to make them whole.

“You could do better,” he says.

Seizing the moment, she presses a kiss on his forehead. The tension in his shoulders ease. “You’re not the only monster around here, Jim,” she admits.

She makes a move for his lips but he stops her. There’s a softness in his gaze, but there is hesitancy too.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m not ready.”

“Alright,” she concedes. It hurts, but she understands.

He brings her closer. She wraps her arms around his neck. He is warm and firm and smells of the outside world.

“This is all so new. I’m afraid it’s a dream,” he confesses, voice breaking. “I’m so scared of losing you. You’re everything to me.”

Claire chokes down a sob. Her lip trembles. The angry, frustrated part of her begins to wash away.

“I can relate.” Even she wonders at times whether all this is something she made up, brought upon by the insanity of being with Morgana for so long.

“I missed you. I missed us. I just didn’t want to screw it up like I did with everything else. I want what we had before. It was perfect and real and—”

She presses a finger to his lips. He gives her a familiar lopsided smile.

“We were never perfect, Jim,” she answers truthfully. “We both had our flaws.”

Her arrogance and his self-sacrifice. She lets out a soft giggle. What a pair they are.

“I missed this,” he says.

“Me too.” She pauses, pulling a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. “Can we cuddle? Like we used to—Wah! Dios mio, qué haces? Jim, oh my gosh! Stop, you doofus! Put me down!”

The princess carry is unexpected, to say the least. He spins around, making Claire break out into a fit of laughter. It is the most fun she’s had in months.

“You wanted to cuddle,” he replies cheerfully.

She rolls her eyes, cheeks reddening. “You’re impossible.”

They settle into the couch. It creaks under them, largely because it wasn’t meant for someone of Jim’s size, she suspects. Slowly, she crawls onto his lap. Her hands caress his hair, over and over, hypnotic in its rhythm. The tension in his shoulder ease, melting away. She leans forward; he shifts to accommodate her. She digs her face into his shoulder, taking in his scent, a warm encompassing presence.

“We can’t keep doing this whole ignoring the problem thing anymore. We need to talk. Real talk. About everything,” she says. “I know it’s scary, but I’m going insane over here. You’re the only one around I can really talk to.”

“You’re right,” he mumbles into her hair. His head tilts back, eyes closing. “I guess I’ll start then.”

“Are you sure?” She says.

He nods, pulling her closer. “Sure? Heck no. But you’re right about the talking.”

It’s not much. The conversation only lasts half an hour before Claire nods off.

But it’s a start.

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